#I'd keep dan at at for next year because i think that would be a good balance for the team

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

I'm just saying, especially after that race weekend, I am very interested in what next years red bull and alpha tauri lineups will look like...

[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)

[ppeonppeonhan]

Which BL Couple do you want to see in a Sequel?

And not just a cameo or an Our Skyy 2-episode arc.

HIStory 3: Trapped (2019, above) - I want to keep seeing how their relationship works as their morals clash.

Bad Buddy (2021) - I know we risk ruining a good thing and that we got the Our Skyy episodes, but I could watch more of these two as they learn to nurture their relationship in spite of the negativity surrounding them.

Not Me (2021) - There is SO much that can be done in this universe with these twin rebel characters. They should absolutely revive it as LGBTQIA legislation and police corruption evolves in Thailand.

Love is Science? (2021, above) - I could watch 12 whole episodes of Ou Wen learning to trust playboy bi Mark.

Semantic Error (2022, top) - Park Seoham returns from military service later this year, but IDK. I feel like there's not much else to explore here. Loved every minute of it though.

KinnPorsche (2022) - This is another couple that I feel ran its course. I would sooner watch a spinoff of Kim and Chay, even though I think Jeff Satur is more interested in music these days, because I need to know if Kim loved Chay or if he just pitied him. Plus, Kim is next-gen mob boss and I'd love to see it. And while I did enjoy Pete & Vegas, it appears we are still up in the air about whether the actor who played Pete...is a piece of sh*t. What a plot twist?

Love in the Air (2022) - Both couples contributed some of the best sex scenes to BL history, but I doubt there's more story to tell.

The Eighth Sense (2023) - They fucked me all the way up. 😭 Made To My Star 2 seem like a cake walk. I need a sequel just to know where this is going.

[ladyinbooks]

How about a psycho!serial killer x fbi agent AU for Samiel and Jay? I realise this is veering very close to the Dan & Hess dynamic, but this will have a different sort of spice I think.

Maybe I've watched and read a bit too many movies and books where the significant other or husband turns out to be the killer. The love and conflict just gets me I guess...? (Which might be why I love P2P. Any more fics we're getting in that universe? Or any other storied with a similar vibe you're writing/going to write?)

On a side note, have you watched Flower of Evil? It's a k-drama, same vibe but different story...if you haven't, I highly recommend it!

Oooh lovely anon, I have a lot of thoughts in this!

Many (many!) years ago, I was talking to a lovely IB reader about a very similar scenario, and it's always sat at the back of my mind as something I'd love to play around with one day. I (jokingly) said I could see it being a little bit like Hot Fuzz, in that I'd love to set the murders in a cosy little English village (besides which, like 90% of murder mysteries in UK television are set in some kind of cozy little English village).

My thinking was that you would have Samiel as a newly-minted police officer, who's posted to what he thinks will be a boring, fairly rural area, except people seem to keep dying at random, and he can't find a reason why. They've obviously been murdered, but nothing seems to connect each incident.

As time goes on, he meets and falls in love with Jay (who is the local librarian, complete with cosy jumper and possibly some glasses). The murders continue from time to time, but Samiel still can't work out why.

(Eventually, we discover that Jay is, of course, the murderer, and there are probably very good reasons for the murders. But also he was bored, and it's a good way to keep his brain occupied.)

I agree with you that this would have a different dynamic to Hess 'n Dan, particuarly as in the case of those two (especially in the AU), Hess is more 'mafia boss, killing subordinates who dare to touch my boyfriend'. I also think Dan is more of a paranoid menace, and cottons on a lot more quickly to the whole murder issues. Samiel doesn't, and when he does, I think he's weirdly less bothered by it than Dan, and more interested in finding out why Jay does what he does.

Hmm, in terms of P2P - technically I have another two fics planned (I just need to finish writing them): another chapter of the AU, and a small 'what happens next' that takes place after the epilogue. I think the closest vibe in terms of fics I have planned is probably the Fantasy Fic (because we have possession of one of the main characters by a god, who is not at all kind). Without going into too many spoilers, I think RP may also have some of those elements (we haven't discovered everything yet, but RP is very much about people doing very unpleasant things for what they think is the greater good).

Oooh, I haven't, so thank you for the rec! ❤️ I will have to find it and watch it, because I do love a good dark romance!

[freezerbnuuy]

Act 3:3 - Life's Too Short (Page 5)

LORE | CHARACTERS | ABOUT / CHAPTERS / WARNINGS

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CONTENT WARNING: discussed homophobia, parental abuse

Eli

I invite Dan out during the day. It's freezing cold still, and the snow is hardly letting up, but they reckon there'll be some sunshine soon enough. I don't know why he isn't wearing something warmer. He's too stubborn.

"You haven't been yourself, Dan. Is something wrong?" 

"What? No, no, it's just this cold."

He's not normally like this. Was it something I said?

"Was I too, uhhhh...forward the other day?"

He's not looking at me at all; he's staring off into the distance.

"Eli, I reciprocated your playful flirtatiousness because I enjoyed it. I didn't think to ask about it in too much detail because I know what Annorin is like. I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me want to take it further. But if I do that, I could be endangering you."

It hurts to think about it. Is it worth it? Do I risk my father's ire for such a thing? More importantly, do I care if he stops considering he his son? It's not like I've ever been his son in any way other than blood.

"I'll be honest, Dan, I don't care if he finds out. Annorin isn't my father. Oskar is."

"Right, but how's Oskar going to react to you dating a witchf-"

"What?"

"How's he going to react to you dating the son of an ex-witchfinder?"

Either way, there's going to be some animosity between Gideon and Oskar. I can't leave Oskar in the dark about Gideon, but there's also the risk Oskar would straight-up kill Dan's father if he found out. He wouldn't care if Gideon gave it up years ago, I don't think...but like Reynold told me, life's too short. It isn't short for Oskar. It is for me and Dan. 

I notice him shivering, and I gently hold him and bring him closer to my chest, wrapping my arms around him.

"I think we both need to worry about what's best for us, and not how other people are going to react. I mean, if worst comes to worst, we both sort of know our way around a sword." Dan chuckles at that one. 

I don't realise how long we've been here until I notice that the snow has melted away, and there's a sudden warmth.

"Dan...If there's something on your mind, you know you can tell me, right?"

"I don't have anything on my mind, Eli," he replies, his voice progressively getting softer and shakier. Other than-"

When Dan plants his lips on mine, completely unexpected, I don't expect it to be the fireworks of emotions that it is. I expected it to be warming and comforting. Initially, a kind of horror seeps into my chest.

A lifetime of being told such a phenomenon was a betrayal to my bloodline by my father- and that's when the excitement seeps in. No other kiss has been this exciting, this pleasant. Knowing my father would hate me for it only made it even more pleasurable.

I didn't want to let go of him, but my father's words echoed in my mind. I'd have to spend so much time trying to fight off the voice in my head. Annorin wasn't my father any longer, he had no control over me…at least, I wish that was how it is. The sun is already melting the snow away, and Dan's laugh leaves a warmth in my chest.

"So, how are things going on the job front?"

"Oh, you know how it is. Still can't find anything. Then again, maybe if the weather keeps up, we can get back to fishing."

[turtlesocksv2]

Liveblogging DFF Ep 2

It's time for Dead Friend Forever episode 2!

Ok I have to say this but it cracks me up every time i watch a Thai show and we get that little disclaimer at the start saying "we do not condone any characters/jobs/actions in this show it is for entertainment only" like what kind of 2003 FF.Net "Please don't sue me i am poor and only playing with these characters like dolls" ass thing to see in front of Mafia Dramas (Kinnporsche), Serial Killer hijinks (Dead Friend Forever) and fucking bittersweet adult midlife crisis vibes (Moonlight Chicken).

Top is absolutely losing it, and they need to leave poor Fluke alone. He is trying his best! What more do you expect from him?!

Oh, Tee is the first to break off from the group. RIP Tee, we'll see how that works out for you.

The mask the killer wears really is very freaky. well done, props department.

Phi the only one awake. I see you. I support you in your killings.

Oh I really thought Top was donefor there. Phi taking control of the group is so interesting. The way he leads everyone down what investigation paths...

Alright just what did you guys do to Non last time??? thank god the 3 newbies to the group are having a little sidebar asking that question. Clearly whatever it was was awful for the group to jump immediately to Non is Dead and his Ghost is Cursing Us and He Wants Us Dead Too for What We Did. But also, i think this rules out All Three Newbies working together to I Know What You Did Last Summer the group, otherwise this scene would make no sense. We'd have another Gossip Girl Dan situation where actions taken when they're alone don't add up to the reveal. So at least 1 of the newbies is not involved.

LOL at Tan trying to get Fluke to spill what the core group knows. If i was Fluke I'd be feeling very very threatened right now. "You think you're going to be next. I'm worried about you." and now Jin is being mean to Fluke too! for the love of god, Fluke is trying! just because he wants to be a doctor doesn't mean he can perform surgery in a cabin in the woods! Leave him alone!

"a good-mouthed and good-hearted man like you doesn't need to remind me" yessss. kill him.

lmao Por has old fucking floppy disks. are these people old enough to have used a floppy disk in their lives. but i know i've got old floppies around somewhere so it makes sense there'd be some at a like summer vacation house that gets used rarely. but also, did i miss that Por hid the footage last episode? because otherwise wouldn't the harddrive that had the footage still be in the room they were all in when Phi hooked it up to the TV?

Was that a mystery medicine bottle in the closet? 👀👀 yeah i'm gonna need someone who can read Thai to to screenshot and tell us what that says.

Oh i really don't need the squelching noises from Fluke tending to Por's wound, please.

Ok, that Por jumpscare with the balcony door got me. and How the fuck does Por have the strength to strangle someone when he's been bleeding out all night?! Obviously a hallucination or something but what caused the hallucination?!

Thank you, White, for bringing back up that they are in the Cult Sacrifice Woods and this might be a Cult Killer or have to do with the cult. a very important thing to remember.

I would absolutely be looking at that footage the second Tee and Top turned their backs, the fuck. No you don't get to act that sus about what happened three years ago and play it off! Phi fighting the fight to keep that footage intact and eventually seen. Tan trying to gently break the idea that the group was bullying Non to White.

oh SHIT the way Uncle Deng got fucking GOT by that wire i screamed! i knew something was going to go down because obviously they couldn't escape the valley mansion in episode 2 but jesus. fucking. christ.

Tee finally remembering he has a boyfriend that he abandoned to the serial killer lmao. Tee and Top keep almost getting away and then going back. they are being herded like cattle. but also, it's kind of sus.

No PhiJin and barely any TeeWhite stuff this episode, which makes sense in that they are busy they don't have time to fuck, but i do find it interesting that PhiJin seem to be on the same page the episode with like no relationship tension between them just situational worry considering Jin was literally biting Phi's dick last episode. Putting aside grudges to stay alive: i'm proud.

anyway that was a really good episode! Tee and Top are the worst. Fluke needs to get the fuck out of this toxic friend group. White needs to dump Tee and get the fuck out of this toxic friend group. Phi and Tan can kill whoever they want i support it. ❤️

[pokelolmc]

The Ultimate Enemy is a Disappointment (and How I'd Fix It) (Part 2)

Here I am, back with Part 2 of my analysis on The Ultimate Enemy. If you haven't read part one, I suggest you check it out. But I suppose this one works in isolation, too. This time we're going into everything to do with our main villain/the episode's attempt at the "alternate villain self of the hero" trope. This one's a doozy, so be prepared! Unfortunately this post got too long, so this'll be the criticisms and the fixes will get their own post. But I have some interesting headcanons in mind, if that's any consolation!

I think I got a bit too heated with this one--I was running on frustration while trying to figure it out. Oops.

(Part 1), Part 2, (Part 2.5)

Part 2--The Problems with Dan’s character/story arc:

The writers minimised Danny’s moral responsibility in the events of Dan’s existence/creation.

So I noticed a pretty glaring pattern with this episode, but I don’t think it was intentional on the writers’ part, probably just subconscious:

Any time we see our hero doing supposedly bad things, which are supposed to lead to his own villain origin story, the writer’s minimise Danny’s responsibility as much as possible.

They insist that Danny’s going to become evil/turn into Dan, but the events that lead to Dan’s timeline (as far as we get to see them recur in the main timeline) essentially drag a very passive and reactive Danny behind them on a leash. It comes off as very hollow. Like they want to do an “alternate timeline villain self” superhero plot, but couldn’t actually commit to the bit when they wanted to show our Danny having the “seeds” of Dan’s immorality (or the events that lead to Dan’s timeline gradually coming to fruition because of Danny's actions, and risking Dan's creation again).

Exhibits A through C:

“Danny cheated on the CAT”! Except he didn't. The idea didn’t occur to him on his own, nor did he break his own moral code to steal the answers with his ghost powers. The fucking Master of Time just GAVE them to him! Danny just basically just accepted someone else’s offer (his own choice, but reactive and minor). He doesn't even think about cheating until Clockwork drops the answers in his lap. And we'll never know if he would have without them.

And after that, he never even actually GOT to cheat. He didn't get to finish opening the envelope (he was interrupted), and the one who actually cheated in his place to make the story happen was the main villain.

By the end of the episode, Danny had still never seen the answers! He could’ve sat the CAT right there at the very end, without handing the answers to Lancer, and it would’ve been totally legit!

(Keeping the answers with the intent to cheat was still a dishonest move…but a fourteen year old kid doing that, especially when he never got to actually go through with cheating, is extremely minor. That's not evil, ladies and gentlemen. It’s petty academic misconduct at best. Compared to Dan’s actual crimes, it’s laughable.)

Being a victim in the deaths of his loved ones was totally fair…but then we find out how Dan was born. Danny didn’t spend the next ten years spiralling into grief or madness and becoming a villain alone. Instead he had his ghost half fused with an already established villain and Vlad’s evil overwhelmed his mind.

In theory, the writing team had the freedom here to write it however they wanted. They really could’ve just written the “alternate villain self” trope straight—“Dan is literally just Danny, but he’s older and had a massive shift in his personality and moral compass for (insert reasons)”.

But instead, the writers gave us “Danny fused with an already-villainous character and absorbed their evil”. Seriously?

There could be plenty of alternatives—“Danny dealt terribly with his trauma and took it out by abusing his powers (starting small, but escalating) and got corrupted by them”. “He spiralled into madness and split himself in half to try end the pain, but his ghost half ended up with all his negative/toxic traits (or emotional pain) and no restraint (so it went evil on its own)”.

Heck, maybe you could even throw in a toxic relationship with Vlad, for good measure—becoming Danny’s “new father”, clinging to him as “the only person who could understand him”, isolating him, manipulating him, teaching Danny his own bad coping mechanisms and cutthroat philosophy (because Vlad also had trauma, don’t forget) and using Danny to carry out his errands as a gateway to villainous behaviour. Think Silco and Jinx’s relationship from Arcane.

Or, use the idea of fusion, but at least acknowledge Danny’s not the only person responsible for Dan’s creation and explore that in the story.

If they wanted to show Danny at risk of becoming evil, they should've actually shown him more actively making/resorting to immoral decisions instead of dragging him into those situations and calling it "evil".

2. Dan being a fusion of Danny and Vlad’s ghost halves means he can’t be the same person as Danny. He has to be either a mixture of both of them, or a new person born from them combining (they're basically the ingredients for somebody new).

We don’t know how halfa fusions work, but it wouldn’t make sense for a fusion to be the same person as only one of the components. Dan By the episode's logic, Dan was a "future version of Vlad" then, too. But the episode refused to acknowledge that. Dan only acknowledged his relation to Vlad from Danny’s point of view, as “his cheesehead archenemy”.

Physically, it’d be impossible for Dan to exist without Vlad. He was physically comprised of half-Plasmius. His physical design reflected a hybrid of both Danny and Vlad’s ghost halves (and in Vlad’s case, also his human half). His blue skin, ponytail, facial hair and cape (and likely also the red eyes) drew from Vlad/Plasmius. Dan, as he was, could not exist without both of them.

Vlad’s recollection of Dan’s backstory also implies that most of Dan’s “evil” came from him. And we know from Identity Crisis that separated halves aren’t just one or two pure emotions—they have some self-image, or level of awareness and personality. When Plasmius was separated from Vlad in TUE, he would’ve had some self-image or identity of his own to carry into the fusion. It wouldn’t just have been “Phantom’s identity plus Plasmius’s evil”. It would’ve been both of their identities mixing. If whatever constituted as Plasmius’s “evil” (rooted in his memories/backstory, emotions and personality traits) was able to “overwhelm” Phantom, it’d only make sense for his whole mind to win overall.  But for some bizarre reason, Phantom is Dan’s dominant identity--and treated as his only one.

How could Plasmius overtake Phantom in the battle of wills enough to flood the latter with his malice, but somehow Danny’s identity or memories were dominant enough that THEY won?

Besides, in a mental battle between a mentally stronger, older man with more experience with his ghost powers, and the fourteen-year-old kid who was still too weak to beat him directly one-on-one, it’d make no sense for Danny to win. They were both in grief over losing the only people they truly "loved" (Maddie, for Vlad) and Vlad as twenty other years of built-up, unresolved pain to stew in first (not to mention his already strong maliciousness/selfishness). So Danny probably wouldn't win out on negative emotions alone.

Though, we are taking Vlad on his word here, which was rather dubious and vague in canon…but I personally trust him on that statement because he’d have little motivation to lie about this to Danny. That statement directly incriminated Vlad in Dan’s villainous nature to Danny, only giving a reason for the latter to further oppose him or be outraged. If he had any reason to lie, it’d be to make himself look better or avoid directly admitting fault. He already seemed to do that in previous parts of the same flashback.

We absolutely know the fusion happened, though—because Dan’s mixed design outside of the flashback was undeniable and alternate Vlad was in ruin without a ghost half.

And if we want to say that Danny still technically counts as "becoming Dan" because his and Vlad's ghost halves both became Dan together (assuming Dan is an active combination of both halves back-and-forth, rather than a new person just made from both of them) I don't believe it's fair to say that Danny's crimes were Dan's, or hold him (main!Danny) primarily responsible for Dan as a problem. This is because of the disconnection of identity and moral control between Danny Fenton and Dan.

It was never clear, not even in Identity Crisis, what happened to the original, whole halfa’s sense of self or consciousness when split into two. Danny obviously didn’t have much, if any, control over his halves in Identity Crisis—they had to cooperate like two separate people, and their personalities and behaviours were distinctly exaggerated and out of character for his whole self. Individual parts no longer controlled or regulated by the larger whole.

By that logic, Danny couldn’t be held fully morally responsible for the actions of his halves while separated, since they weren’t under his conscious control/he wasn’t of his full mind (similar to the reason insanity pleas exist in court, or you can't properly consent when under the influence of drugs/alcohol). His responsibility would be there somewhere, but unclear and debatable.  It’s possible they could be separate identities from him entirely. The only thing fully his responsibility is the decision to split in the first place, which facilitated their actions (since he did that while still of his own sound mind).

That creates a degree of separation between Danny and his split halves before his ghost half even fuses with another person. Adding a literal separate individual into the mix would make Dan two degrees of separation away from the original Danny Fenton. Alternate!Danny could be held fully responsible for requesting/going along with Vlad's Ghost Gauntlets procedure (facilitating Dan in the first place), but after that, his moral responsibility is in doubt from the moment he's split apart. And considering that this hyperspecific method for Dan existing is relatively easy for our main Danny to avoid (as long as he's informed), I highly doubt it's even REMOTELY fair to accuse past/main timeline!Danny of everything Dan has done. The episode's repeated assertions of "this is what Danny will do...in time" when referring to what Dan did is just not correct.

3. The episode’s plot does so much telling the audience that Danny and Dan are the same person, and that Dan’s crimes are consequently Danny’s, mostly through character dialogue. Dan's backstory throws all of this into question, and the plot does NOTHING to explore or remedy the apparent complexity/contradiction.

While “Dan is Danny’s future self” could be “technically” true—in the sense that the Phantom half mixed into Dan is the only remnant of Danny in the future—it’s not true that he IS Danny as a person. He’s a fusion with an entirely separate individual, who was already villainous before the fusion. The question remains as to whether Phantom and Plasmius are both intact as identities inside of Phantom, or he's a new person entirely.

But the episode repeatedly had a handful of characters spell out that “Dan was Danny but evil”, mistake past/main timeline!Danny for Dan, or accuse Danny of what Dan's done. And even when characters have a reason to be wrong in-universe, the sheer repetition of their mistake in the script (out-of-universe) serves as a framing device for what the narrative wants us to believe.

Clockwork and Dan himself both have every reason to know of his origin as a fusion, and yet they still refer to him and Danny as if they’re the same person.

In the light of Dan's nature as a fusion, this rings hollow. The situation is more complex than anyone is letting on.

And when Vlad reveals Dan’s backstory, NOTHING is made of this information. Danny doesn’t even verbally react to it, to show that he’s processed it. It doesn’t change how he sees Dan or lead to him trying to figure out what Dan is. He doesn’t react to the “my evil overwhelmed you” comment from Vlad. He still goes into the final fight with Dan insisting “I won’t become you!”. The episode says nothing of it—the only thing Danny takes out of his encounter with Vlad is the Ghost Gauntlets.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Sorry another zoomer anon about comics

Actually I was referring to new 52 about batgirl and Starfire. Did you know new 52 stated that Starfire don’t remember people names unless she had sex with them?

Obviously that was ignored and retcon to hell and back. But comic writers, there a difference between being a sexual liberating woman vs being a hentai slut

Also about a year ago iirc, the old head of DC Dan Didio (who responsible for the mess that was new 52 and 2010’s shit) said that comics lost a generation of heroes because mines wasn’t interested in superheroes…during the height of the MCU

Pssst Didio let me tell you something, there something called the internet so my generation can look up the history of dc and marvel comics.

We are not getting emotionally invested in comics who are handle by fuckers with the mentality of a ten year old

So we went to manga and hmm, what that popular shounen?

MY FUCKING HERO ACADEMIA! YOU DIDN’T LOSE A GENERATION OF READERS BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T INTERESTED IN SUPERHEROES! YOU LOST THEM BECAUSE WE CAN SMELL SHITTY COMICS LIKE HOW A BLOODHOUND SMELLS PISS!!

Ugh, how…out of touch these fuckers are?

Also you guys made it damn near impossible to get easy access to comics so manga is far easier to get. Obviously you can….but a comic shop is a huge luxury item

Sorry for this essay rant, and I only been into comics for ten fucking years

Pssst Didio let me tell you something, there something called the internet so my generation can look up the history of dc and marvel comics.

OMG YES. THIS. FUCK.

Sorry, about to hijack this ask to go on a rant but my God I fucking hate this idea that people can only ever be interested in things that they experience in real time. It's such bullshit. Do you know what I wasn't alive for? The original run of Spider-Man written by Stan Lee. You know what my favorite Spider-Man stories are? The original run of Spider-Man written by Stan Lee. I got into Spider-Man because of the 90s animated series on Fox Kids. From there, I got a few of the comics that were running at the time, and from there I found the Marvel Masterworks collections and absolutely devoured the older stories. And even for books I didn't really have much interest in like Captain America or Iron Man, I would get Marvel Encyclopedias and learn about the pasts and presents of all the comic characters, even some I'd never heard of. True fans will always seek out the past of the things they love. You think people who fell in love with the Lord of the Rings movies aren't devouring The Silmarillion? You think the kid whose first Star Wars experience is seeing The Mandalorian isn't going back and watching the original trilogy? You think someone whose only experience with Batman is the Nolan Trilogy isn't going to find and absolutely love Frank Miller's Batman Year One? Of course they are. True fans don't have blinders. True fans will educate themselves on the things they love.

You know who won't, though? You know who just consumes the things that are put in front of them and will never go beyond that, either through laziness or because they don't want to see anything that's "old" or "out of touch"?

Tourists.

Tourists are great during tourist season, but very few come back every year. And in the off-season, it's the locals who keep the place running. You can't always depend on tourists. They'll happily move onto the next big tourist destination at the drop of a hat. But the locals, the true fans? They'll always be there. They'll be buying books, buying merch, going to the movies, generating enthusiasm, organizing conventions, and everything else that comes along with being a true fan. The only things that will drive them away are when the people in charge of the things they love attack them personally or change the things they love into something unrecognizable. And even then, most will still love the thing as it used to be. The fans who hate Rings of Power didn't throw out their Lord of the Rings Extended Edition blu-ray collections. The fans who hate Disney Star Wars didn't smash their original VHS copies of the unaltered original trilogy. And true fans aren't just old fans or original fans. The thing about being a local is that anyone can move into town. And if they stay long enough and fit into the local culture, everyone else will embrace them.

So fuck Didio and everyone else who thinks tourists are the only group that matters. Fuck everyone who thinks that "modern audiences" can't love something from a different era with different stories and different characters from what everyone else is shitting out today. It's bullshit, and it always has been.

[literaticat]

As an agent, how do you recommend authors handle review spaces? Most writers are also readers, but I understand it's probably looked down upon to go around giving 2-3 star reviews to who are essentially your colleagues. I enjoy having the data to look back on of my reads, but as I plan to be published in the future, I'm wondering if I need to make this private and find a private system.

A bit more broadly than your ask: In my personal opinion, writers may be readers, but reviewing spaces such as GoodReads, etc, are not for them. I would strongly suggest that for mental health purposes, authors not only NOT EVER go on GoodReads, but also block it from their computer like it is a naughty website. NSFW BABE. Don't look up your own reviews, don't look up your friend's reviews, for the LOVE OF GOD don't RESPOND to any reviews of your books or your friend's books you happen to see, and unless you have something glowing to say about a book that will uplift the author, for Pete's sake keep it to yourself. If you have potentially snarky things to say about a book or author, journal about it. Text it to the group chat. But don't post it.

As for your more specific ask: I totally understand wanting to keep book-reading data -- I do! I use the Reading List app, which is private. StoryGraph I just got but it feels like a nice interface, I'll be playing around with it, and I'd happily add books I'm reading, my TBR, etc -- but I would either keep my account private to whatever extent is possible, or I just wouldn't rate the books on that. Other people use cool personal spreadsheets, or cool notebooks. This is MY data -- I'm not keeping it to impress or inform anyone else, so why would it need to be public?

When I find books that I particularly adore, I'm delighted to post about them on socials, but I don't need or want to talk smack about books publicly, that would be totally inappropriate coming from me, and since I know and work with SO MANY editors, other agents, authors, etc -- There's pretty much NO WAY I could get away with that without inadvertently insulting somebody. And while you may be "aspiring" now -- the longer you stay in publishing spaces, the more people YOU will know and meet, too.

TRUE STORY from just this week: I was at a Little Free Library and found an old Sweet Valley High book - BEWARE THE WOLFMAN, #106. It has a hilarious jacket and cover copy, I had no idea that the Wakefield twins went through a paranormal "American Werewolf In London" era, I was obviously obsessed and posted about it on Facebook, with a pic of the front and back of the jacket. Now, this is a book that is WELL out of print, it was published when I was in high school thirty years ago, it was a friends only post and I'm not friends with the author, like, literally who would I be insulting if I made fun of this book? Oh -- well potentially my friend Dan, who chimed in immediately to say that he in fact wrote the funny jacket copy. My friend Elise, who is an agent now, but was Dan's boss in 1994 and in charge of these books. OH ALSO, I am friends with the publisher. Ahahahah OK! Yay! Luckily it truly is a bonkers book and they know that so it was all in good fun and haha teehee, but like -- it could have been WAY worse!

ANYwhoo, you asked what I think, that's what I think. This is just how I approach it. "As an agent" I would never tell my authors what they can or can't do with their lives - but this is MY philosophy: we're all here to SELL books, not bash them, so if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself, because believe me when I say, it's extremely upsetting for all parties when you give a book a shitty review and then are seated next to the author at a publisher dinner later. TRUST ME, I KNOW.

[bubster3020]

ALBUM REVIEW #3 - Amazing Investment Opportunity - Fraud Couture

I'd like to start this review by mentioning that I was lucky enough to receive this album before its official release (Thank you Jay!!!). With that in mind, I still went into the project objectively as possible. As someone who's experience with noisy, experimental music is limited to openers for local punk bands, I was pleasantly surprised with Amazing Invest Opportunity. For the most part, I think Fraud Couture, a side project of Crywank's Jay and Dan, delivers a really awesome and sonically engaging record that balances harsh and discordant horns and sound effects with its more conventional instrumental elements.

The album comes out swinging with "Year of Dog Food," arguably one of the most avant-garde songs it has to offer. At first, the squeaking cacophony of the saxophone sounds a bit off-putting, but it quickly grows on you, keeping you on your toes the entire way through. Quickly, the squeaking noise further finds its place as the exciting drums build up throughout. By the end, any preconceived notion about the album's enjoyability has faded away and you're treated to an absolute banger of a song. After the exciting opening track, you're treated to "holding_hands_at_the_duck_pond.swf," a surprisingly comfortable song, despite it being littered with all sorts of digital noise. Behind all the loud computing, there's a relaxed, fun vibe that feels like you're walking in the park of a video game, wandering with no objective. Converse to it's oddly calming predecessor, "AI HATE SPEECH MACHINE" is a wonderfully unnerving experience. The first thing you hear is antiquated synthetic voice, similar to one you'd find in a cheap 90's edutainment computer game, getting an answer to an unknown question correct. I've always found those types of voices very uncanny, so I was on edge from the beginning of the track. The rest of the song stays very understated, the only compliment to the robotic voice being some entrancing horns and some very deep drums. It feels like you're listening to an AI learn to hate, and exemplifies the album's ability to put you in a certain mood very well. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a lull before it puts you in a such a place again.

While "17.9% Apr" continues with the usage of unsettling, robotic voices and keeps the energy of the previous song, it ends too quickly. Originally, I thought it to be a neat little bridge between the song before and after it, but that is not the case. The next run of songs all clock in at under one minute in length, which sucks because they all bring interesting ideas to the table. Even though I thought the opening cry of "4chan Wedding" was extraordinarily out of place, even for how eclectic the rest of the project is, it has an amazing jazz section that is extremely danceable and potentially one of my favourite bits of playing on the record; alas, it just ends somewhat abruptly. There are quite a few songs that I found myself bobbing my head to that would end right when you become invested. Some songs, such as "Dangerous Playground" feel unfinished, and if it lasted a minute longer, would be absolutely be a phenomenal song. Because of their short length, these songs begin to feel like filler, and filler is especially unfortunate here as the record is only 23 minutes. Luckily, it gets back into its groove pretty quickly.

After the lull, it picks back up right where it left off, "Cleaning On Speed" is such an energetic song that brings back the rest of the album's pace. It's a melting pot of the highest strings a piano can muster, a very rich (yet still squeaky) saxophone, and very fast rhythmic clapping that I definitely could not keep up with at a concert. Like the rest of the more jazz focused songs, it's a very dense soundscape, always providing something new to find upon relisten without ever being completely overwhelming. As previously stated, one of the project's greatest strengths is its ability to engage the listener and bring them into a specific place. Each song has a theme, and it gets nailed pretty consistently. "True Love Can Only Happen Once In A Thousand Years" demonstrates this pretty well, being a more melancholic, laidback tune. It uses an extremely slow tempo to put your mind at ease, and almost feels like you're at a jazz lounge, just listening to the performance quietly at the back of the bar. The record finds itself a balance of high energy parties and calming respite, each setting making the other feel more enjoyable when switching between the two.

As boisterous as it can be, Amazing Investment Opportunity does well not to overload itself too much, giving the listener time to process what's happening while mostly keeping fresh. It's chock full of interesting artistic decisions and really good instrumentals that make sure it's never too inaccessible. I particularly enjoyed the synergy between the drums and the saxophone, and the rare points of electric guitar were always a highlight as well. Though some bewildering and off-putting cries and screams can be heard throughout, I think it's in the nature of experimental noise music to not always be super congruent in every song. The thematic mixture of retro technology and horn-driven jazz give an extremely unique and oddly classy touch to the record that simply makes you feel good when listening. Overall, I absolutely enjoyed most of my time listening to it, though often I was left wanting just a little bit more. I highly suggest you check it out if you're looking for something you can just vibe to, as you'll find that for the most part, it's an amazing time investment opportunity.

Favourite song: AI HATE SPEECH MACHINE

Least favourite: Stuart Little Big Dick

Score: 7/10

[wherevermybiketakesme]

The Last 4 Days

The tabebuya tree next door is the home of the bulbul birds of Kanayakan. So is the grown curry tree in the yard of the flat next to ours. In the morning, the birds would fly around the trees, perching on branches but sometimes on the electric lines.

Brave little creatures. Every morning they would sing, unabashedly, shamelessly, against the December sky and the yellow burst of the rising sun. I listened to the flapping sound of their wings, as they flutter to and fro above the leaves of the trees. We might think of animals as beings less intelligent compared to us. But they have secret knowledge and wisdom that we could never posses. At least that's what I'd like to believe. We go through life surrounded by mysteries; big and small, near and far.

Today I was supposed to depart for the last big push of the year. But due to one reason and another, the plan was kaput. Honestly it bummed me out, which invited me to reasses my motives and intention. Personal challenge, yes. In keeping with the tradition, yes (I've always pushed it to 500km in the last week of the year since 2019). Some time alone, yes. Ego boost, why not (which is totally okay, I'm holding space). Unfortunately, given limited resources, I had to concede. It was just not the right time (plus there were some signs).

Festive celebrations are all over Instagram. One that captures my attention and admiration is Mbak Septi's Madiun - Bali ride. She went as a pair with Mbak Dee, pedalling for 3 days on the road, with one ferry crossing in the process. It looked like a wholesome trip, a fun girls' day out.

In one of her posts about the trip, Mbak Septi wrote:

Saya melepaskan semua tentang kompetisi dan tidak mengejar pencapaian. Tidak mengukur waktu tercepat, tidak ingin jadi kebanggaan karena jarak tempuh. Saya hanya ingin bersenang-senang! Karena sejauh ini, bersepeda membuat saya senang.

I met Mbak Septi in the 2022 edition of Bentang Jawa where she rode her yellow Wim Cycle bike (not really a Wim Cycle). She didn't make it to the cut off time of the first check point but she determined to complete the journey even with "non-competitive" status. And she did it, she finished the ride.

This year we met again at the starting line of the inaugural Race Around Java where we were the only solo female participants. She raced with pure grit, facing challenge head-on, surviving adversities. When she reached her hometown in Madiun, she decided to scratch from the race because "hati saya meminta pulang."

I didn't have many chances to have conversation with Mbak Septi. What I know for certain is that she sings her own song, doing her own thing in an authentic and unpretentious way. Oh, she's also funny. It's such a delight following her stories, the woman who follows her heart.

As I write this down, my good friend Gyna is also on her way to complete a 500km ride. She rode 300km solo before Tasha caught up with her in Sumedang to pair up for the rest of the course. May the tailwind be with them.

Meanwhile, late in the afternoon, Bembeng arrived as the first finisher of BS Rides 500 with a total elapsed time of 35 hours. His steel bike and the knobby 42mm tires didn't slow him down. Our friends from Jogja, Nao, Mas Ponco and his wife, were there to greet Bembeng at the finish. It was a pretty sight.

It's so cool to see so many sharing their festive stories so that others can revel in this incredible energy and get inspired to get on their saddle and ride.

Joy. Joy is in the air and it's plenty.

Until tomorrow.

Bandung, December 28, 2024

[personthattoleratesme]

soo, this is not the first time I'm getting into a fandom that's over a decade old (i seem to have a knack for it) and it's always so exciting, it almost makes me feel like an archaeologist or detective piecing together the history of an ancient civilization

well, okay, back on track:

after those initial videos i mostly watched their post 2019 joined content which turned out to be a great thing because a) there isn't that much of it, so it felt very approachable b) it helped immensely in getting to know their current selves (this probably sounds weird, what i mean is that they have changed over the course of the years (even beyond the obvious 'they are out and more true to themselves than ever before') and it was good to get to know the status quo before diving into the past) c) it's simply great entertainment

i then went on a Dan's Long Videos™️ spree, watched daily dystopia and phil's newer videos and finally gave into the urge to take a look at the tumblr fandom, which I'd been avoiding on purpose up until then because honestly, i was scared of what it would be like. i was quite pleasantly surprised at how chill is here (I won't lie though, there were a few things that almost activated my fight-or-flight reflex because they sounded a bit too similar to that fandom, but overall i have come to the conclusion that i do like it here).

anyways, at that point i would've felt pretty lost facing such a giant mountain of lore and videos if it wasn't for dan and phil and phannies being so goddamn nostalgic. just by hanging around here and watching their videos you get a pretty good idea of what is important, be it a rough timeline of what happened when and where or what the most iconic and best videos are.

i had so much fun going through the pinofs, the crafting channel, their more or less desastrous attempts at baking, the og google feud, random gaming channel vids from golf to the impossible quiz and i could go on, it is honestly addicting. it's also quite dangerous because there is always more to watch and i know that i have barely scratched the surface.

also, it's really interesting to go back to the first videos I've watched and to see how much my perspective and understanding of them has changed in that short amount of time

by now I've dialled down the binging a little bit and am just jumping from one recommendation to the next, but i do (possibly ignorantly) feel like i have the most important things covered and am now simply enjoying the ride.

if you have any personal favs you feel like i might not have seen yet, please do feel free to share them! :)

- a now very tired new phannie

anon you seem to have taken a pretty good approach. starting with the post-2019 joint content is definitely a lot easier than watching the mountain of joint content from before that. eventually you'll probably catch up on everything but in the meantime as long as you've got most of the important videos i think you'll be fine in the fandom.

i do think there's still some demon phannie tendencies here on tumblr (i include myself in that) but i think generally we do try to keep it respectful, and also we try to kind of keep it away from them and just have our demon discussions in our safe little pocket of the internet.

yeah you've truly come here at a great time in terms of nostalgia. i mean the roblox video alone is just pure nostalgia content and probably helped you get to know the lore of the iconic london apartment. and generally we're all just really sappy about them and their relationship so old vidoes and gifs are always circling around.

you just made me do a deep dive into all of their channels to remember what videos they even have and i think i have a good selection of recommendations in case you haven't watched them:

the photo booth challenge (dan's channel), and the wardrobe (phil's channel), both iconic fan favorites

all of the day in the life videos (manchester, london, festive, japan, australia), they're not big on vlogging so it's nice to get the occasional little slices of their domestic life

dan's internet support group series, not too big of a series but very dan

dan's diss track, also very iconic

giving the people what they want

all of the sims videos (it's a lot, i know, but it's great to watch if you're ever bored)

overcooked, they played it a couple times on live streams and there's just something about them without any editing that's very fun to watch

keep talking and nobody explodes

the top dan memes videos, great to catch up on some lore

there's a lot more probably but these are the ones i can think of right now.

there's also a lot of lore hidden in all the live things they did, which there is a lot of cause they each used to to weekly live streams, they had a weekly radio show, and then the lockdown stereo shows. i would recommend just looking up some compilations of those, they usually contain a lot of the important lore moments. the stereo shows are quite fun to listen to as podcasts, so i would recommend doing that. also because it's a lot more recent than their old live streams it's a lot more relevant.

anyway, another very long answer. if you have more things to say feel free to do so :)

[delicatebluebirdruins]

RiaBB Volume 8 and 9

he made the spring onion for her

love the coat with hand warmers in the pockets

finding the letters and not caring poor Hae-rin

(also I wish during the end credit montage I wish we got pictures of their past like they don't really allude to their past, more than 20 years of friendship in the show so why no pictures?)

oh this scene woof

love the angry compliments (until he called her a dummy and hit the plushie I am going to say this now but I think this might be the worst episode for Eun-ho lets see)

love Jae-min being so funny about the manuscript

also asking Dan-i to help Eun-ho is hilarious (i would have made a joke about a living relationship)

Ms Go with her hand up like i want to go clubbing (also she and Ms Seo are wearing matching clothes)

24:57 Har-rin and Eun-ho are making weird nosies at each other

love the Gangnam Leopard mention and finding out who she is

love Ji-yul's and Hoon's fake dating arc

"Life is like a spring dream" love Mr Bong

love the drunk ladies talk and the two different perspectives we get on the same situation. Miss Seo is so cute (also that shopkeeper was really rude)

Eun-ho almost had a stroke finding Dan-i like that on the floor didn't he?

love the manuscript set up and yep really didn't like sitting through the petting session

i love the snow and those icecreams look nice

love his emphasis on the moon is beautiful = love and she just looks so nervous at the idea of him liking her as more than a friend

some nice bookish quotes in the end credits which is great for me

next episode woo

Volume 9

love the snow and the artwork

"it didn't turn me off" I swear to god Dan-i why are you like this?

love Dan-i and Jaemin? so much

they know what a shitty worker Ji-yul is why did they not check?

Love Seo-juns mum

Love the necklace but Dan-i not getting that Eun-ho is in love with her is getting on my last nerve [love the sales girls gossiping in the background]

Hoon is right Dan-i can't take a hint

Seo-jun and his contracts are great (also asking a designer to design a book cover like this one must be frustrating)

Kapyong is the carer right? (also I remember Hoon and Ji-yul sleeping together on the desk)

love the reader has changed talk with Seo-jun *ahem*

Dan-Yi: "I had a book with me. A very old book [the title is Cha Eun-ho] Since it's a very good book whenever I feel tired, happy or empty, I used to take it out and read it. I'd memorises the lines of the book because i read it so many times but lately that book feels a bit strange to me."

Seo-jun: "all of a sudden?"

Dan-Yi: Yes all of a sudden even when I read the lines I highlighted before I don't know why on earth I highlighted such lines. It is definintely the book that I read over and over again countless times but I keep on seeing new sentences I haven't see before. I've now realised there were so many lines that I missed. It feels like I'm reading a new book.

Seo-jun: could it be because you the reader might have had a change of heart? ... That's how good books are. if you reread a book you read when you were ten it feels completely different because we have changed. The book you have hasn't changed. The heart of the reader has changed.

And poor writer Kang and his son Eun-ho

[kris-and-the-pnictogens]

saying goodbye to childhood sci-fi optimism and the I.G.Y. future

I don't want to say farewell to optimism and hope altogether. Both concepts are still valid even though we're getting the Second Coming of Donald Trump (or maybe it's his third or fourth or tenth, because he keeps crawling back into the spotlight after repeated humiliations) and it looks like the U.S. and the Democrats are both mortally stricken. Hope hasn't vanished, but now I'm going to have to work for it.

It's something to realize that despite years of trying to toughen myself up, trying to cultivate a dispassionate and analytical approach to the challenges of a world dissolving into chaos, I've been hindering myself through nostalgia—nostalgia, the same sickness that infected the U.S. with the "Reagan Revolution" (actually a fascist counterrevolution) and has finally slain the patient. Both my older sibling Frisk (born 1972, I was born in 1974) grew up in a staunchly leftist household, raised by a scientist father with a great many friends from many other countries and a mother who'd fled the wreckage of Allendist Chile and taught her children to believe in revolution and social justice. But we were still children being brought up in whitebread West-Coast U.S. society, going to whitebread West-Coast U.S. schools, so we got corrupted by whitebread American optimism. Even my saturnine sibling, for a little while there in childhood, wanted to believe that somehow everything would be OK. The hard times were temporary and things would get better and we'd have a different world to live in by the time we were grown up.

Right? 😬

Obviously that did NOT happen and, if I'd been wiser during the 1980s, I would have perhaps noticed that the nation was already mortally wounded. I think Frisk, always more practically minded and attentive to mundane concerns, noticed much sooner and this contributed to the extremity of their growing despair and mental illness. I continued to put faith in escapism, fantasy, and sci-fi optimism. I don't think that was wrong exactly but like way too many privileged American kids growing up in those years I was too willing to be merely dazzled by technology and its promises—rather like Snowball in Animal Farm, altogether too excited by his daydreams of a miraculous mill—and seduced by the notion that "progress" (that vaguest of abstractions) was inevitable merely because technology was always improving. As I got older, sci-fi and fantasy slowly became more mainstream in popular culture, especially after the advent of Star Trek: The Next Generation which I faithfully followed in high school and early college years. Surely this was a sign! Surely the future really WAS getting brighter all the time!

Right? 😬

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. My sibling and I would eventually clash on this matter—we grew apart, estranged by our vast difference in temperament. Frisk thought I was fatally frivolous; I thought (*sighs*) that Frisk was simply lost, their mind now so scrambled by illness that I'd never understand them again. We were both wrong about each other, and yet we were both correct. We are reunited in Hell, however; that is something to feel good about.

And somehow, our clash of temperaments is reconciled in a single song, one of Frisk's favorites, so now it's one of mine as well. Frisk tried to get me interested in Steely Dan and eventually I picked up the vibe. Frisk found little peace in their previous life but music helped. Donald Fagen's solo album The Nightfly has much the same mellow sardonic vibe as Steely Dan's music and was a big Frisk favorite. Fagen was a big sci-fi fan as it happens and the lead track on The Nightfly, "I.G.Y." (International Geophysical Year, a grand worldwide science project from the late '50s) has a lot of sincere enthusiasm for old-fashioned sci-fi visions of a gleaming space-colony future like I got from magazines and books during childhood, but deftly undercut by Fagen's world-weary sarcasm. Can you tell? I quote the lyrics in full:

standing tough under Stars and Stripes, we can tell this dream's in sight you've got to admit it, at this point in time that it's clear the future looks bright on that train all graphite and glitter undersea by rail 90 minutes from New York to Paris well by '76, we'll be a-OK 🎶 what a beautiful world this will be what a glorious time to be free what a beautiful world this will be what a glorious time to be free, oh 🎶 get your ticket to that wheel in space while there's time the fix is in you'll be a witness to that game of chance in the sky you know we've got to win here at home, we'll play in the city powered by the sun perfect weather for a streamlined world there'll be spandex jackets, one for everyone 🎶 what a beautiful world this will be what a glorious time to be free what a beautiful world this will be What a glorious time to be free, yeah 🎶 on that train, all graphite and glitter undersea by rail 90 minutes from New York to Paris (more leisure for artists everywhere) just a machine to make big decisions programmed by fellas with compassion and vision we'll be clean when their work is done we'll be eternally free, yes, and eternally young 🎶 what a beautiful world this will be what a glorious time to be free what a beautiful world this will be what a glorious time to be free 🎶

"Well by '76, we'll be a-OK" rather gives the game away: if this song is written from the late '50s perspective, the bicentennial year of 1976 must have looked very optimistic indeed. It wasn't so bad in reality either; Jimmy Carter was elected and the U.S. could still feel like a member of the international community, albeit a humbled and troubled one stained by Watergate and the genocidal fixation on Vietnam. But The Nightfly came out in 1982, after the fascist GOP installed the ghastly grinning Reagan in the Oval Office, and Reagan had no use for international coöperation or space exploration—Ronnie Raygun wanted to put bombs and spy satellites in space, not peaceful explorers.

The '50s sci-fi future had NOT come true and now Fagen could only look back regretfully on it. Here in 2024, with the nightmare of Trump II and Elon Musk looming over us all, the daydream of eternal freedom on that wheel in space in the sky seems more phantasmal than ever, although Musk keeps alive a horrifying parody of it, promising his cultists a vision of Martian paradise that must surely be completely illusory, for in reality Musk wants SpaceX to be a military contractor and revival of Reagan's space-weapons notions, and Starlink is blotting out the stars rather than reaching for them. People still long for "a machine to make big decisions", that's for sure, although the LLM fraud is a terrifying betrayal of that promise.

Frisk, nodding along serenely to this song, might well tell me: "told you so!" I had believed in the I.G.Y. dream, which Fagen was perhaps consigning to history with his gently sarcastic take on it. But I choose to believe still. Fagen believed in it once; maybe he still did, just a bit, and that's why the song is so appealing still. I haven't given up hope. Maybe I'll make it to 2076, and make the song come true.

~Chara of Pnictogen

[yupuffin]

TL;DR Dan Heng (in 3D printed form 🤣) and I got up early to watch the Star Rail concert livestream!

More unnecessarily deep thoughts about it under the cut because it definitely made me emotional and stuck with me for a few hours after it was over.

I didn't know the concert was going to be a thing until yesterday when I watched the animated trailer, but I figured I'd give it a shot! Especially for the chance to see an orchestral rendition of Samudrartha. And I was not disappointed, to the point that it low-key felt like an early birthday present 🤣 Of course Take the Journey made me emotional, too, and interestingly placed right after the space station battle music, because I went straight from "stay alert, we're grinding" mode to "listening to the most relaxing song" mode 😂

(For reference, I first heard Samudrartha at like 6am in the Boston airport when I was playing Star Rail for like 3 hours while waiting for a delayed flight, and in the three months since then I've woken up to Samudrartha as my weekday alarm in addition to listening to it during the day and/or to fall asleep. So yeah, it's pretty special to me!)

I know the Genshin concert has come to the U.S. once, but only to Los Angeles and New York; Los Angeles isn't really a convenient distance from me, but after watching this concert, I'd seriously consider traveling to LA if a Genshin and/or Star Rail concert should I get the opportunity, even if it's not at the same scale as the one in Shanghai.

I got to thinking while/after I was watching it how this game already means so much to me after I've only been playing it for four months out of the entire year that it's been out. I thought back to the first time in-game I boarded the Astral Express (which, if I'm reading my screenshots right, was my third and/or fourth day of playing) -- I turned on "Take the Journey" on the phonograph, just because I thought it sounded nice, and then, without really thinking about it further, I proceeded to the archives to go see Dan Heng, and... there was something about standing next to him in the archives with Take the Journey playing in the background that just hit me all at once with this really secure, peaceful feeling that's pretty representative of the way I feel about Dan Heng in general and hence has never really gone away.

Genshin Impact also has a special place in my heart, of course. Genshin and Star Rail are both such attention-grabbing, time-consuming games that juggling them both is a struggle sometimes, but I manage. I don't think I could quit either game if I tried at this point.

While playing Genshin Impact was generally a smooth experience for me, there have been a few instances in the 134 days for which I've been playing Star Rail that I've considered quitting for various reasons -- frustration from grinding too much for a difficult boss, burning out while refusing to progress the main story, progressing the main story anyway and then feeling overwhelmed by the emotional impact -- and at one point I even uninstalled it... for a few hours. I could never stay away, because I wanted to keep coming back to see Dan Heng every day. It feels silly to me that the most accurate description I can come up with of my experience is that "being with Dan Heng just feels right," because that's how I've heard people describe their significant others, and you can't really be with an imaginary, fictional character.

So, yeah, I thought about that... and about how Genshin Impact, and later, Star Rail, are both games I was so determined not to get into, because I knew they would suck me in... and ultimately, they did, despite me telling many people multiple times, that no, I was not going to play that new game, because I couldn't resist the temptation after a certain point 🤣 But, given the chance, I don't think I would go back and change anything... Having just today discovered that they've previously made Dan Heng nendoroids that I have regrettably missed the boat on, I had the brief thought -- and not for the first time, either -- that, if anything, I wish I'd started Star Rail sooner.

(I've thought this before, because, probably due to the aforementioned peaceful feeling I get with Dan Heng, I've slept better since getting into Star Rail than I can remember sleeping for most of my adult life. Nowadays, I usually fall asleep pretty fast, I often stay asleep all night, and my anxiety-induced nausea that used to manifest at night once every few days ago has dwindled to basically nothing. The few bouts of insomnia I've experienced, which used to be pretty common and occur for no apparent reason, are ones I can directly trace to lingering emotional distress from earlier in the day. Sometimes I watch "Ichor of Two Dragons" to calm down before bed, and there was one time I watched on my phone when I was already in bed, and I was basically asleep right after I put my phone down.)

(But I digress.)

I don't know if I could have started Star Rail sooner, though, despite knowing it's existed since it came out; I only felt the flexibility to get into Star Rail because my interest in Genshin Impact has been dwindling recently, as disappointing as it sounds to phrase it that way. These days, I mostly only play it to complete my daily commissions in the morning, participate in limited events or main story content, and patrol my Serenitea Pot at bedtime to say good night to all of my characters. Aside from not feeling a particular drive to try to complete an endless backlog of quests, which comprises the primary activities I have left to do in the game, I felt that I hit a sort of "endgame" after pulling Neuvillette; for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be in love with a fictional character who's a dragon -- and I know there's a lot of good dragon characters out there, but I can't force myself to like a character a specific way; it has to happen more or less by chance. And I love aquatic things, so the fact that Neuvillette is a water dragon... basically made him the peak Genshin character for me. 😆 Which isn't to say there aren't future characters I'll be interested in, but I also don't feel particularly compelled to continuously save Primogems for the next greatest character when I already have Neuvillette, not to mention the assortment of other characters I'm also in love with. There's a lot of them.

So, anyway, part of the reason I figured I could give Star Rail a try when I did was because I wasn't regularly devoting multiple hours a day to Genshin Impact anymore.

I think the first time I felt a draw to Star Rail in particular was when they first released Imbibitor Lunae as a playable character back in August -- because you know me and Neuvillette, I love dragons -- but, as I did with Genshin Impact, I put off getting into it because I don't like making impulse decisions and I knew it'd suck me in. By the time a couple of months had passed, I had Neuvillette, I wasn't playing as much Genshin, and in December I happened to read a Tweet about how Neuvillette and Dan Heng (Imbibitor Lunae) are both water dragons. I wasn't aware until this point that Dan Heng was a water dragon, specifically, so now I was way more tempted to give it a try.

Anyway, I think where I was going with this was that I couldn't start Star Rail sooner, because the circumstances weren't right. And it worked out, because I'd saved up the 180 pulls needed for a limited character guarantee right as Imbibitor Lunae reran in February, right around when the Year of the Dragon started.

And the best part about my Star Rail experience that set it apart from my Genshin Impact experience... is that you start the game with Dan Heng in your party (albeit not in dragon form). With Genshin, I started the game just a bit too late to pull Xiao (the character I wanted, analogous to Dan Heng -- yes, I have a type) on his first banner, and I refused to impulse buy gacha pulls using real money, instead opting for delayed gratification by saving wishes I amassed in-game for however long it took for him to come back for a rerun, which ended up being eleven months. This whole process involved a lot of stuff like separation anxiety and my gay awakening that definitely shaped my identity over the past three years that's way too long and detailed to get into in a post that's supposed to be about Star Rail, but the idea is that Star Rail was a different experience -- partially because I was effectively a different person when I started playing Genshin than I was when I started playing Star Rail, and also because I've never played Star Rail without Dan Heng.

So now that I play both, I currently devote more time to Star Rail than to Genshin Impact, as I'm still building my characters and keeping up with the ongoing main story releases, and I was thinking about this while watching the Star Rail concert, because I never made a point of watching any of the Genshin concerts. It makes me kind of sad in the way that we tend to mourn our hyperfixations when we're not as hyperfixated on them anymore. I don't want to quit playing Genshin, and I don't think I have to for any reason, but now that I've come to terms with being gay and whatever else happened in the three years I've spent playing it, it feels in a way like it's run its course, like it's served its main purpose in my life, and, while I can continue to enjoy it on a daily basis, I think there's also something to be said for how special my Star Rail experience is to me and how it's currently serving its own function in my daily life, complementary to but also separate from Genshin Impact.

So, yeah, that's basically what I thought about. All of that.😅

Given how many paragraphs I spent talking about how I don't think I can quit either game, I'm hoping that they're either as immortal as Toontown is with Toontown Rewritten (still going strong 20+ years after the release of the original game), or that I've somehow developed a new hyperfixation with its own purpose in my personal narrative by the time these games end service. Either scenario is hard to imagine, but also not entirely impossible.

[thestarsofpines]

so I'm conflicted on some things with the fic and this is gonna be me rambling to myself but if anyone wants to toss their opinion or ideas my way I'm all ears.

I have a good chunk of what should be a first/one of the first chapters written. but it starts with a lot of exposition and it doesn't actually show the events as they take place; it just talks about them. I don't know if I wanna make the exposition into actual scenes either though. it's hard for me to judge what I need to show and what I can just tell.

this train of thought also applies to how I'm gonna have Danny explain some important things, like his history with Vlad and cloning. part of me wants to explain it because it explains it in detail for the reader, in case they aren't familiar/it's been a while since they saw the show (I myself had to rewatch Kindred Spirits because I was very fuzzy on the details). but then I also wonder if that'll just drag the pacing down, since I feel like a good portion of the DPxDC fandom is already familiar with the events of the show.

I've already written explanations-though it's literally just Danny talking-for the portal accident (which I will keep, since it isn't shown in the cartoon and it's an interesting scene to get to write), Vlad cloning him, and about Dan (both The Ultimate Enemy and A Glitch In Time). But it's long, and like I said just him talking. so I'm thinking I need to cut it down while also making it more than Danny just talking at the reader.

another thing I'm struggling with is how I want Danny to remember his time with the League of Assassins. he remembers it of course, but the way he kind of looks back on it and learns to adapt to life with a "normal" family. and how much of that I want to "sprinkle in" before he meets the Waynes. it's currently feeling a bit jarring where it's added, but I don't know if that's because it's a rare thing in the story and I just need to add more, or if it just feels inorganic.

the biggest struggle I'm having right now is the ending, or rather where I want it to end. I know how I want the story to play out-not necessarily the specifics of everything, but the general idea-but finding a good place to "cut off" to be...satisfying, I guess.

maybe this is all normal! this is my first fic in years that I've planned out in depth-aside from one or two fics (that never even got past the planning stage) I used to write "straight ahead," (aka write each chapter without knowing where it was going to end) so making an outline and a timeline to reference is a big change for my process, but it's very much a welcome one! it's already been a huge help. but now I'm also struggling with organization in my document, because it's grown to 96 pages and there are written scenes mixed in with the outline and stuff.

okay well, this didn't help too much but it felt good to put the struggles into words. I really need to finish my scenes for DP Rephanimated, but I'm still so focused on this fic that it's hard to shift my attention. I'm off the next two days though, so my goal is to finish the animation before my week starts again on Friday. I literally only have two shots left (and to lip-sync another, but that shouldn't take too long, ideally).

anyways, thanks to however read this lovely wall of text :) ohh!! if anyone knows how to look for a beta reader for a fic (or would...like to offer themselves-) I'd love to hear from you! I think an outside perspective would be super helpful.