#I'd been putting it off cause it made me sad to think about

[sirxlla]

Sorry - Halsey (Batboys)

------------------------------------------------

Dick: "and never really understood, the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could."

To everyone, Dick was always put together. He was a rock, never broken, never sad or angry, just perfect. It was so far from the truth. He felt lonely, angry, and depressed.

This time of year was so taxing on Dick, he had started having nightmares about his parents and that night of the fall. Usually, this time of year, he breezed through it without so many nightmares, but this year was hell. He saw the fall over and over, and his blame for himself came back with a vengeance.

"No. No! No- No- Nononon! No!" Dick woke up with a start, sweat pooled in every crevice having dampened his shirt and pillow. Of course, he woke you up as well, and you went into comfort mode, rubbing his back.

"Hey...I'm right here if you need anything." You said with a soft whispering tone so as not to spike his heart rate more than it already was.

"What if it's my fault? What if it all is? What if everyone's gonna get hurt because of me?" Dick placed his head on your chest and started sobbing as you rubbed circles onto his back.

"Honey, as long as I've known you, I've known that as long as you draw breath, you'll help as many as you can...You'd give someone the shirt off your back and the shoes you were wearing just because they asked. You're an amazing person, and the world is so much better because you're in it. I don't want you to think any differently about it." You rubbed his back as his tears made the silk of your pajama shirt stick to your chest.

"I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes and sniffled. "I shouldn't be crying, everyone sees me like-"

"Hey, I don't give a shit how everyone sees you, and I would never think less of you 'cause you're brave enough to show me how you're feeling. Okay?" You look into those cerulean eyes shining in the dim light of the room.

"I am so proud of you and no one here would ever be disappointed in you, Honey." You hug him as he nuzzles into your chest and calms down a bit until he falls asleep, you rub his back until you fall asleep with him. His drool is now the only thing dampening your sleep shirt.

Jason: "I've missed your calls for months, it seems, I don't realize how mean I can be."

You had been calling him over and over, and he would read it; you could see he did. He was just ignoring it. He had disappeared into what felt like thin air. Had you done something wrong or was he in one of those moods of his where he thinks he's not good enough for anyone?

He's sitting alone in some hotel room in Central City. Jason left everyone alone; he needed some time to sort himself out. He knew that rule about how you have to love yourself to love anyone else, and right now, he couldn't stand the sight of himself. You didn't deserve his bullshit, you didn't deserve his demons that are drowning him alive.

You have sent his messages daily since he disappeared into the blue.

7:36 A.M. Jan 14th - "Everyone loves you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

3:59 P.M. Jan 16th - "I miss you bunches." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

2:12 A.M. Jan 17th - "Just stay safe for me? I'd be in pieces if anything happened to you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

8:36 A.M. Jan 19th - "Sorry forgot to text yesterday, I've been so tired, but I still miss you every moment you aren't here." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

5:26 P.M. Jan 20th - "Dinners always ready for whenever you come home. I promise." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

1:41 A.M. Jan 22nd - "Tokyo misses you, he meows by the door constantly. Please come home, our family misses you." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

10:38 A.M. Jan 23rd - "Jase, please. I can't sleep well without you. I don't know what's going on; please explain." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

11:37 P.M. Jan 24th - "Jase, Please come home. I'm sorry for whatever I did." ~Read by JT❤️‍🔥

He read the texts. What you did? You did nothing. He realized how stupid and selfish he was being, such an asshole. His fingers typed before he could fully decide what he wanted to do.

"What did you do? Babygirl, you did nothing wrong. I'm coming home, I'm sorry I've just been so stupid about everything recently. I've been worried I'm not enough but I realize I can spend forever getting closer to my idea of perfect for you until you kick me out or my heart stops beating. I'm sorry and I'll be home soon."

You had cried yourself to sleep that night, and you were so exhausted you hadn't seen the text. Tokyo started meowing, and it woke you; you checked the clock, and it was 3:53. You had only been asleep for a few hours.

"Tokyo, go to bed. He's not here." You cry into your pillow, your face is swollen, and your eyes still red from crying earlier.

"I am, Babygirl. I'm so sorry." Jason saw your face and how sad you were; his heart felt heavy in his chest, and he was angry at himself for hurting you so deeply. You didn't know what to do, so you stared at him as he crawled over to you and hugged you. It had been a hard week without him and him hugging you is what finally broke you. You sobbed into his chest, holding onto him tightly.

"Don't you ever do that again, You Asshole!" You sobbed angrily, hugging him tightly as you breathed in the smell of smoke that lingered on his skin.

"I promise, I never will. God, I'm so sorry. I'll spend forever apologizing for this. I'm so fuckin sorry." Jason heard the sadness in your voice and held you tighter til you both fell asleep.

Bruce: "Sorry I could be so blind, Didn't mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind."

Being Batman and trying to be a billionaire on top of it just really didn't give him the time to be in a relationship. You knew this, and you tried your hardest to make sure that he never felt bad about it, but it doesn't mean that it didn't feel like shit every single time you wanted to do something with him or you had something planned and he had to change it.

Not only does this include dates and evenings and dinner but it was also sometimes that he was just so exhausted he would fall asleep in the middle of whatever you had planned anyways, it sucks.

You love him so deeply, but he's so busy all the time, and you're trying to give it the benefit of the doubt and just hope that, at some point, you'll come first to a degree. You held out for so long, but after a while, you just couldn't do it; you left.

Alfred noticed the note on the counter; if it had been Bruce, he wouldn't have noticed it for weeks.

"Master Wayne, I believe this is for you." Alfred hands the note to Bruce as Bruce is just about to go back out as Batman.

"Dear Bruce, My Love,

This has to be one of the hardest decisions I've ever made but I know it's the only option that I have where I don't feel guilty for taking up your time."

He started reading and then noticed the marks where tears had damped the paper as he continued to read.

"I would never ask you to put me over the people in Gotham. I know why you do what you do,, but it doesn't make it any less hard when I barely see you, and then when I do, you're covered in bruises, and you can barely get out of bed. I can't do this anymore. I love you, and it pains me so much to do this. I can't live a life where I feel so alone; it feels like I'm dating a ghost. I know that in my heart of hearts, I cannot handle this, and I know a child definitely can't. I'm pregnant and I'd rather do this alone than make you feel guilty for not being there or make myself feel guilty for staying. I love you, and I don't want to try to change you; I know what you do, what you do. I'm sorry, My Love.

Sincerely & Yours Always"

He finished reading the letter, and his heart dropped. You were pregnant? When? When did that happen? He should have known.

"I want you to see about Mr. Fox taking over my role in Wayne Enterprises. I'll still own the company the same, but I'll have more time." He asks Alfred; Bruce knows that this is something he should have done a long time ago. He's been missing you anyway, but now he is about to miss out on you for the rest of his life, and he is about to miss out on his kid.

Not even a few days pass before Bruce finds you, he's drenched in rain in civilian clothes. The rain just enhances the smell of his cologne. He looks even more tired than he usually does. It's clear he hasn't slept.

"I will do anything you ask just please don't leave me." He asks you as you open your door and in his hands held your favorite flowers. Bruce's eyes glanced down at your belly as you pulled him in to get him out of the rain, you were showing. He cursed himself in his mind. How could he even have remotely not noticed, considering how far along you are?

You grabbed towels from your hotel bathroom and began to dry him off.

"I let Lucius take over my job at Wayne Enterprises, so I'll have more time for you,, and I promise I will have more time for you, and I'll have more time for a little one. God, can't believe I didn't notice all the signs were there. How's everything been going?" He asks as his hands hover over your belly, asking for silent permission, which you allow when your hands guide him to your tiny bump.

"It's been okay; sleeping's been a bit rough, this mattress is like concrete, and the morning sickness is a bitch, but overall, I'm okay." You told him as his hands moved themselves under your shirt to feel his hands closer to the growing baby.

"Are you planning on coming home? I- I know we usually sleep during most of the day but I- I really wanna be here through this." You could hear the vulnerability and his voice something that rarely ever slipped to that degree.

"I- Yeah... I really didn't want to do this alone either just left because I didn't want you to feel bad."

"Sweetheart, I will never make you feel like you have to do anything alone again if I can help it." His hands still gently rubbing your belly.

"Well, we're definitely not going to make it home tonight, not in this rain, and I still have the room for the night."

He nodded, and the both of you laid down to watch whatever was on TV; it had been a long time since he had felt anything this domestic or 'normal.' It was so nice and calming, something he now had time for so much more with you.

Tim: "But I still know your birthday and your mother's favorite song."

Breaking up was never something either of you wanted to do, but you wanted to go to school in the U.K. that has always been a dream of yours ever since you were a kid, and Tim would never be the type of person to hold you back from your dreams even if it meant he'd get hurt.

At the start, the two of you texted all the time, and you'd show him things all the time, but slowly, he stopped responding, so you stopped texting. He couldn't bear the thought of not being with you, but he had responsibilities here in Gotham; he couldn't just go.

"Hey, Numb Nuts. I asked you a question." Jason prodded as he finally got Tim's attention after what felt like forever.

"Huh?" Tim was confused; he was so in his head that he didn't even remotely hear what Jason said.

"I said, 'Why are you so doom and gloomy?' You're moping around the place like your puppy died." Jason had noticed how low Tim had been for the last month; he thought it might have to do with you, but you left six months ago.

"You not gettin' any more texts from your girlfriend?" Jason asked a bit cheeky but it was clear that concern laced the tonality of his voice.

"No, I stopped responding. I don't wanna make her feel like she has to respond to me." Tim mumbled.

"I know you're not stupid, so why are you acting like a dumbass?" Jason stated with annoyance in his tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're being a dumbass. You know she loves you and you're ignoring her? Why the hell didn't you go with her anyway?"

"I have responsibilities here-"

"No, fuck your responsibilities; there are plenty of people who can take over for whatever you're doing. You get your ass on a flight and go to her before I beat your ass." Jason stated as he grabbed the laptop out of Tim's hands and started booking a flight.

"Go pack, you're leaving in an hour."

"Who's leaving in an hour?" Dick stretched as he walked in.

"Tim is, he's going to see his girlfriend."

"No, I'm not. Guys, I have things to-"

"Yes, you are." Jason and Dick both cut him off. Dick rushed Tim to his room and started helping Tim pack before he could even begin to process what was going on.

Jason texted you, "I have a surprise, go to the airport at 10:30. Don'tt be late."

In your mind you thought 'Aww, Jason's so sweet. My best friend's gonna meet me here.' So you responded.

"Will do. 🫡"

Several hours passed and you arrived at the airport looking around at baggage claim for Jason. He was a bitch bitch, hard to miss. You kept looking around when you spotted Tim and your heart lept in your chest, running over to him and hugging him deeply.

"Oh my god!" You squealed to his suprise. He thought you mightve moved on but hpw you were acting made it clear you hadnt. His arms squeezed you. After the hug you grabbed one of his rolling bags and helped him to your car.

"Oh my god, it took me so long to learn to drive on the other side of the road..." you started rambling and telling him all about your trips and every little detail as you drove him to your flat. His eyes followed every detail on your face, he wasnt even listening just in awe of you. Tim realized just how much he missed you, he broke out of his trance as you lead him inside.

"I bought everybody stuff, I have a box for Jason and Damian and Bruce. I am so exvited for everyone to get their stuff, its gonna be so fun..." Each box had different stuff that interested each of them, you had a box for Tim too. You still remembered everything even though its been six months. His heart swelled at how sweet you are and he just kissed you right there which interrupted your new ramblings. You shoulders fell and your hands found Tim's face as per normal abd the both of you realized home isn't a place, its a person.

Damian: "And so it seems I broke your heart, My ignorance has struck again"

He had another gala to go to for some charity event; besides, this was something his father demanded he do. It wasn't like he had a choice, did he? He's been Wayne Enterprises' new CEO since his father retired; he's been sucked up in events, meetings, and planning.

Although he had a lot on his plate it was no excuse for how distant he was being. Damian knows the date or at least he should. If this relationship is as important to him as it is to you he'll know the date. Your anniversary and this wasn't one of those little petty short ones or some shit. This was five years.

You decorated the apartment, lit candles, wrapped presents, decorated the bed with rose petals, put on music, and even made dinner and his favorite dessert. You were so excited and so proud of yourself, it took you all day while he was at work to do so.

The only reason you weren't at work is that you took it off for this reason. You thought he'd take a day off, too, but it's okay. He didn't cause you had time to surprise him. You paid for everything yourself, you didn't wanna constantly have to borrow money from him, and it was always good to have a rainy day fund.

The front door alarm chirps, letting you know he's home, and your smile grows larger. He remembered! Oh, you were so excited but that excitement faded when he just went to the bedroom? Confusion filled your features. 'What?' You followed him to the room.

Damian was quickly stripping out of his work suit into an expensive one he uses when he has to go to galas.

"Hello?" You asked all dolled up for him.

"Have you seen my blue silk tie anywhere?" He asked, not even remotely noticing the petals or how you looked.

"No, I haven't seen your fuckin tie." Snapping at him but he just rolled his eyes and didn't notice. He quickly got dressed, sprayed himself with cologne, and made his way out the door again.

You felt your heart get crushed in your chest, he might as well have carved it out and stomped all over it. 'He can remember the date for the gala but not our anniversary?' You sat there and sobbed, it's been the same date every year for the last five years. You ate dinner alone, cleaned everything up, blew out the candles, and raked the petals half hazardly into the trash.

A few candles got accidentally left out, having forgotten to drain the bathtub, several petals still lined the floor, and the presents were still left on the table.

You showered yourself and washed off the makeup that felt like it took you hours to get right, the red lipstick staining the washcloth and your lips. You quickly changed and crawled into bed, alone.

Damian showed up at the apartment hours later, he knew you'd be asleep. The galas ran long so why the hell would you need to stay up and wait for him?

He was starving; the galas didn't serve much food. The only thing you could get in abundance at a gala was alcohol, and Damian never wanted to dull his senses like that, so he didn't drink. He went to the fridge, noticing his favorite food; he put some on a plate and heated it in the microwave, making sure to stop it before it beeped so he wouldn't wake you.

He moved over to the dining table that was covered in presents, and as soon as he saw them, his heart fell into his ass. 'The 18th? Shit! I- Fuck. It's our anniversary, God Damn it.' Damian was tempted to run into the room and apologize but what would it do? It would just wake you up and that would be even more rude on top of him being a jackass already.

He ate his food and cleaned up the rest of the apartment. He needed to figure out an apology quickly. 'How could I be so stupid? Wait, that cake in the fridge said 'Marry me?' She- she wants to marry me. God, I feel awful.'

He didn't know what to do to fix this, he could make some sorta big grand gesture, but those always felt like trying to gander sympathy points, and he wasn't gonna do that shit. Damian was gonna be a man and admit how shitty of a person he is. He would just make you breakfast and apologize, take all the blame 'as one should when they're a jackass'

You came out of the room the next day, your hair messy, face puffy, eyes red, lips still stained fromnthe red lipstick, in your robe with your headphones on. You noticed he wasn't beside you and figured he pulled an all-nighter, and you went to wash your face and get coffee.

You pull out the contacts you forgot to take out last night, you rinse your eyes and throw the contacts out, putting your glasses on before going to get coffee.

As soon as your hand reaches for the coffee pot, Damian's hands find your hips.

"Uh uh, you go park yourself right over there. I'm a jackass so I'm doing anything and everything for you today. Okay?"

"Damian, it's just a date on a calendar." You tried to just brush it off.

"It's not just a date on a calendar, it's everything, and I'm so sorry. I'm not going to sit here and make excuses, I forgot because I was so wrapped up in work. I disregarded the only thing that matters in the entire world to me because I got wrapped up in stupid shit that doesn't even remotely matter as much as you do." Gently grabbing your face and looking into your eyes, the redness and puffiness had gone down but lord did his heart skip a beat to see you in those glasses.

"Now, we can't do it over necessarily, but I'm cutting my work hours. They will be designated for five hours, and then the other three or four will be crime-fighting or whatever else I have going on, and the other fourteen will always be yours. Obviously, you'll have more on vacation days or sick days or days; I just don't want to go to work. I promise you my time whenever you need it even if it is during work hours. I would be content with losing everything else but you, okay?" He continued as he kept gazing into your eyes, and you could see the level of anger he had for himself and how sympathetic he was to help you; you could see the pain in his chest that originated from him hurting you.

"Okay." You sniffled and a few tears fell down your face.

"Also, I know it was supposed to be a surprise, but if you want to marry me, I'll do it right now; we can get engaged and plan the most beautiful wedding ever. Whatever you want, it's yours, and if I can't get it, I will find a way." He said as he wiped your tears from your cheeks. You pulled him into a hug and nodded; he wasn't off the hook; hell, you'd let him off the hook before he ever let himself off of it. That was one thing you loved about him when he made a promise; he stuck to it, and there was no one more disappointed in him right now than himself.

Masterlist

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mention of harm words -> 1.3k

abstract -> healing takes time...

y/n’s perspective

“His memories are still all over the place, it could be a trauma response that his brain has blocked him out from,” Doyoung said and I knew at this point this was true. 

“We’ll have checkups every few months but amnesia isn’t always a happy ending,” he said and I nodded as I was led out to the waiting room.

“You really tied your own hands up when you adopted troublesome hybrids' ' I heard and I turned around to see Chenle. I smiled… “I don’t regret getting them, I love them a lot. They also make me happy. '' I said and he chuckled. “I guess that's all that matters' ' he said and I nodded. 

“I remember how upset you were… with the whole break up,” he said and I sighed. 

“Doesn’t matter anymore… it's almost been a year anyway” I said and he chuckled. “You’ve been busy even after starting a book after so long. I heard he got a hybrid, too though? Something about his family taking in the mother of his family’s hybrid?” he said. He didn’t even like hybrids…

“Here she is” I heard and I saw Jaemin with San. “Take care of yourself,” Chenle said and I nodded as I took San. “How was it?” I asked and he looped his arm with mine as we walked down the street. 

“Find… all the memories I don't remember… is it better if I stop wanting to remember them?” he asked while looking down. 

“Why don’t we find somewhere to eat huh?”

san’s perspective

She took me to a cafe I think I heard Wooyoung talk about. It seemed familiar. She ordered us some food and he stared at me for a while before she decided to speak. 

“You know… you always wanted to come here?” she asked and I was shocked. “Really? Why… did I never come?” I asked and she gave me that sad smile she’s been giving me recently. “Look at the door,” she said and I did… What was so special? 

“It has a bell,” she said and I looked at her confused. “You used to not be able to stand the sound of bells… it caused a negative trigger” she explained. “I know you said I was in a hybrid ring where they made hybrids kill each other… Was I a bad guy?” I asked worriedly and she smiled. 

“No… you’re the sweetest hybrid I could ask for '' she said and I was relieved that she said so but something that didn’t stop haunting me suddenly resurfaced. “Then why did I hurt you?” I asked and she sighed.

“Because you hate humans and what they did to you. You thought I'd be the same” she explained, but I shook my head. “I feel comfortable with you though… I love being around you, why would I ever…” I trailed off feeling my vision start to blur. 

“Here’s your food” I heard as the waiter put our food in front of us. An iced tea and chocolate pancakes… “You really liked chocolate I found out… but if you don’t like it I'll–” “Thank you… you seem to know so much about me” I said and she smiled. 

“I like to think I do,” she said with a soft smile and I nodded. “I’m just sad… I don’t remember much about you. I just know how I feel” I confessed and she nodded. “Well, who says you can’t ask me again?” she asked and I couldn’t help but smile. 

“You’re so patient… thank you,” I said and she nodded. “Always”

I know all of the hybrids back home hate humans. Wooyoung was abandoned and called annoying or anything similar all his life besides when with her. He’s known her the longest and we’ve been friends since we met. Yeosang absolutely hates the higher class… but is insanely involved with her. I know the tigers were abused all their lives to perform dangerous stunts. 

Not all humans were the same… she was really kind. I know I could trust her with anything and have never felt unsafe since returning with her. 

I also know I made her my mate… I was her first hybrid. I belonged by her side. 

As we made it to the apartment I decided to ask… 

“So should I just stop trying to remember everything?” I asked and she sighed. “One time you told me… you wish to forget everything that used to make you sad or angry. So… it’s your choice and whatever choice you choose I'll still be here” she said and I nodded. 

“y/nie! Sannie!” I heard Wooyoung as he talked to me in a hug. “Everything is okay Wooyoung. I brought some food” she said. She mentioned that if she was getting food for me she’d have to get it for everyone… She truly cared for everyone. 

I know I hurt her… but that didn’t make her scared of me. I’ve seen how her friends look at me and the orange tigers… but she always seems to reassure me. 

While Wooyoung called for everyone, I decided to pull aside the tiger… “Can we talk?” I asked and his eyes shook but nodded. He avoided me more than everyone else. Even the white tiger made an effort to befriend me.

“Are you alright?” he asked and I nodded. “I don’t remember much but I feel annoyed by you…” I said and he nodded, not surprised. “Can… we get along?” I asked and his eyes widened with his tail suddenly twitching, catching him by surprise.

“Why all of a sudden?” he asked and I sighed. “She… she seemed to forgive me for hurting her and I know she also forgave you. I wanted to try following her example” I said and he sighed. “You don’t have to forgive me. What I did–” “Was just as bad as me apparently… I don’t remember much but I do remember hurting her. We both were wrong about her huh?” I asked and he nodded. 

“I will never forgive myself for what I did,” he said and I chuckled. “Neither will I,” I confessed. 

“Can you make me a promise?” I asked and he nodded eagerly. “I know you try your best to protect so please… When I'm not by her side and I'm often not, I don't like leaving the apartment. Please continue to protect her” I asked and he smiled.

“You didn’t have to ask that,” he said and I smiled. “Thank you, hyung!”

y/n’s perspective 

The panther was more cuddly than usual. He was already asleep, hugging me in his sleep when I heard a knock. 

“Come in,” I said and I saw Hongjoong. “Need anything?” I asked and he laughed. “I don’t think you can offer anything while trapped by San,” he said and I noticed slowly he started calling everyone by their name. Not panther… nor doberman… nor fox. San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung he’s been calling them.

“He seems to be getting better,” Hongjoong said and I nodded. “I’m glad he is… he’s more energetic too,” I said and he chuckled.

“He forgave me,” he said and I felt my eyes widen and even a smile grow on my face. “I know… he’s okay,” he said, letting out a small laugh. “You and Seonghwa are getting along with everyone… I’m glad” I said and he nodded. 

“Thank you… truly for adopting s even though I’m trouble” he said and I offered a smile. “I’m glad… I enjoy the chaos” I said and he smiled. His tail swished back and forth happily. 

“I did have a request though,” he said. “Anything,” I said and he chuckled. 

“Well… now that Wooyoung is in the process of moving into San’s room… could I possibly get my own room?”

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

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[neuvigroove]

𝒊 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚.

pairings. scaramouche x fem reader synopsis. scaramouche swore to himself to protect you from dottore, but in order to do so, he must abandon you. before he leaves though, he makes sure to put a smile on your face. genre/warnings. pure angst, written in scara's pov, reader is energetic and childish, she/her pronouns used for reader, mentions of blood, stabbing, and death wc. 1.1k a/n. i actually shed a tear while writing this and listening to summertime sadness. playlist. die first - nessa barrett, summertime sadness - lana del rey, train wreck - james arthur

[2:39pm]

today is y/n's birthday.

i can see her in the near distance, skipping around like an excited little kid. she's always had too much energy for me to bear, but perhaps i've grown used to it, seeing that she's always glued to my side for some reason unknown to me.

that bliss however, will change today. dottore knows about where she's from. a planet far from the depths of teyvat. a globe dominated solely by the human race with no room for elemental power. a planet currently known as earth.

very little is known about this planet, which only causes dottore's interest to peak. her origin makes her the perfect test subject for the doctor, but i will not let him lay a dirty fingernail on her.

we cannot continue to travel as one; dottore will find her if she's with me. i don't have any cards left to play.

i do worry that leaving her alone would put her in another danger. she carries no vision, nor any strength that could compare to the creatures of teyvat. however, nothing is more dangerous than becoming an experiment of the second fatui harbinger. on the inside i know she'll be okay. she can find-

she can find my replacement. a new companion.

my only option is to watch over her from the shadows. that is the only way i can protect her.

sometimes i can tell that i hurt her feelings when we converse. but my personality is something i can't change, and she's never seemed to want change from me. perhaps that's why i've enjoyed her company more than i could ever enjoy another human being's. she understands me more than i think she does.

since i made her cry on her last birthday, i've decided that i could attempt to make her smile this time around. in my defense though, the cookies she made for us to share together were truly detrimental. but... maybe my words were too harsh. i forget what i said exactly... "you wanna poison me? are you so dumb as to have forgotten that i'm not human?"

my eyes trail back to ms. craziness and my eyes widen when she trips over a tree branch. i actually have no idea how i've been traveling together with a girl who has two left legs without dying. i don't notice the tears streaming from my eyes until she looks my way and spots me.

she runs over to me, and i quickly wipe the useless, hot tears. when i see her happy expression, i need to make an effort not to let the guilt eat me alive. i think i've admitted it to myself a while ago, but i love y/n. i'd presumed just as everyone else that i'm a puppet incapable of anything close to love, but if what i feel for y/n isn't love then i'm not sure what it is. i am positive that it is love. when you experience pain, you don't doubt it and assume it's something else. you just feel. and when i'm with her i feel.

"SCARA!" y/n exclaims as she topples me over in a hug. i nearly fall to the ground, but i'm able to catch us before it's too late. gosh, can she even contain her energy for two rational seconds?

i shove her off of me, but before i can say anything, she excitedly holds up a compass-like trinket in my face. "look! a sweet young boy gave me this lovely compass! it's supposed to lead you to wherever you'll be the happiest! and~ it led me right to you! we are just the perfect little duo, aren't we scara?"

i scoff, "and you believe that? it led you towards me because i'm standing north from where you were earlier."

y/n's excited expression drops.

"oh..." she pouts. "well... we can still pretend, right?"

pretend. maybe i can pretend she'll always be with me.

"pretending won't get you anywhere in life," i respond flatly.

"oh, but you pretend all the time," she responds. "i know you sometimes pretend that you can't hear me when i ramble about random things. although it hurts my feelings, you're still my best friend, scara."

what she said is actually not true. i in fact remember everything she rambles about in great detail. like that one time she was complaining about how she hates her hair because the wind blows it in an unattractive way. it was just so annoying because she needs to set her priorities straight. her appearance should be the last of her worries.

"give me your hand," i say. my voice is softer than i intended it to be. when she extends her hand, i slip a diamond bracelet around her wrist. on it is a charm with her nickname for me engraved in the center: scara.

please don't forget about me.

"oh, scara... it's beautiful! I'll never take it off. i promise."

"i have a matching one," i respond as i hold up my wrist for her the see.

she smiles when she sees the nickname engraved on my bracelet: princess.

there it is. her smile.

i sigh. "human, i know that you have your other shenanigans to deal with today, as do i. but meet me up that hill in the forest at sunset."

"oh, okay? scara, why are you being extra nice today?"

"um," i attempt a half smile. "it's your birthday, isn't it?"

[6:03pm]

i pick up the sword from the wet grass of the forest mountain beneath me. it's raining hard tonight. y/n is going to catch a cold, and i won't be there to care.

i walk over to the puppet standing across from me. my puppet. the puppet i've created to fake my own death. isn't it funny? the puppet of a puppet. both abandoned by their creators.

i take my bracelet off and slip it on its wrist. she has to believe it's me.

"i'm sorry," i whisper before stabbing my clone in the chest. i close my eyes when i hear my own voice cry out in a short-lived pain. it falls to the ground, lifeless as i walk away into the forest.

the bloodshed spreads with the heavy rain, and moments later, i see y/n approach the dead body. there she is.

and i feel as if my nonexistent heart has cracked in half when she screams. my eyes close in a sort of pain i've never experienced before. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, princess. it's the only way you wouldn't look for me.

i wish that a day will come where we can be partners again. but on the inside i know that her human lifespan is not long enough to fulfill that silly wish.

scaramouche fanart credit: X (Twitter) : llxx88103769

[pzychojinx]

so, jinx in act one of season two. see, for three years i expected a full on descent into chaos and madness beyond any repair. i'd made peace with that, too. so i'm surprised - pleasantly, joyfully surprised.

very long analysis ahead on where they're taking her and how it speaks to me.

we first meet her again during silco's eulogy sequence - a beautiful sequence, halfway between dreamlike and real. "just like when vander shoved off", she says about his death. except it's not. after vander's death, after vi's perceived abandonment, everything jinx could feel was self-centered. she would say "she's not my sister anymore". she would devalue these people entirely. in fact, every single reaction to any action done by her loved ones would be self-centered and extreme. that is very much how her mental process works, how her trauma caused her to work. and more so: when silco would ask of her any work, any mission, she'd do the job purely for his sake, his affection, his approval, never caring about the cause.

in short, she was never able to get out of her own head for as much as a single minute. now, she starts the funeral off with "chembarons warring for control of the lanes. wannabe street thugs squabbling over scraps. just like when vander shoved off." and it's not about her abandonment anymore. it's not about being left alone. it's not about her. she's talking to silco about his city, his legacy, his world, his chembarons, his lanes. she's out of her own head, and it's the first time we ever see it.

"because someone put all those holes in you", she says then. and this is so interesting because there's obviously a dissociation here, as well as a very intense grief and sadness. we are obviously still dealing with someone who's deeply traumatized and unstable, but let's compare this with powder after the deaths of vander, mylo and claggor. powder had a full breakdown, both turned into a complete de-evaluation of vi as i was mentioning earlier and full desperation. "i only wanted to help, i only wanted to help, i only wanted to help".

this chaotic desperation is something jinx kept within herself throughout the entirety of s1 up until - the tea party. which i'm getting at, in a minute. point being, for now, that the jinx we see during silco's eulogy is grieving and lost and rootless and asking herself "what am i supposed to do with that?", but she lacks the chaotic full-on desperation that would lead her to acts of explosive destruction and/or self-destruction in s1. in fact, she's incredibly quieter. she's more grounded, more present in her movements, in the way she fights, in the way she talks.

in retrospect even her final action in s1, the infamous missile, already had the energy we're seeing now. it wasn't instinctive, driven by hallucinations or trauma or rage or an unrestrained trigger; it was silco's legacy and it was calculated. silco's death, i think now, left jinx as rootless as she's ever been, but it also left her with an acceptance of who she is. "don't cry, you're perfect". the tea party ends with her 'choosing' jinx and if you'd asked me before season two, i would have said with full certainty it meant she'd be going to be a loose cannon. entirely and with no possibility of ever being anything else. that's not what i think now.

i think she came to terms with who she is. i think now that the seat at the tea party wasn't a symbol of complete derailing, it was in a way a symbol of acceptance. "here's to the new us". she's fought her fight between powder and jinx and the tea party has permitted her to gain, in some way, a sense of closure. very importantly, having lost what she perceived as vi's acceptance, and having lost a father, she has also been able to shed the constant and desperate need to be in their favor.

during the 'sucker' sequence, we see her going through the lanes with a hood on her hair, very low-key. loose cannon jinx would have never, ever done that. loose cannon jinx would, quite simply, not have cared. she would have been extra, and explosive, and in everyone's faces. she's preserving herself not to be found, and that's new. again, i think she's still lost and rootless and grieving and really asking herself what she's supposed to do now that she's entirely autonomous and i also think there's definitely still a lot of bitterness and rage when it comes to vi which we obviously get to see during their fight and in no way is she magically ~healthy or anything like that - however.

she is still walking those streets in a way that indicates self-preservation. it would have been very, very easy for jinx to be captured by any of those goons and/or got herself killed. and for some reason, whether that be an apathetic, mourning state or mind, or whether that be some gained peace in who she is, or both - she didn't.

given all this, the new element that season two act one has introduced for her that truly moved me and made me feel... healed in a sort of way, is the introduction of human bonds for jinx that defy her historical, co-dependent mechanism of idolization and de-evaluation. ergo, sevika and isha. this is incredible for her and most of all, it's realistic. it's a chance at something, but it doesn't feel forced, nor fairytale-esque, nor does it resemble your usual ~redemption arc.

sevika and isha function as people who she's building some bond with, and since she's a little bit less in her own fucking head, and since she's not clinging to them as idealized protectors / saviours and neither is she refusing them as betrayers, and since she's not constantly fighting between what she perceives as her double identity anymore, she finally has the possibility to experience healthier bonds. sevika functions as somebody who still ties her to silco, possibly the closest thing she has right now to any root she might have left, and it works: reminiscing silco with her, gifting her the arm, doesn't leave her utterly alone but neither does it let her fall into the trap of clinging onto yet another figure from whom to fully depend.

and isha, very obviously, functions as the possibility of healing her inner child which is a goldmine for her storyline. her bond with isha could clearly have a narrative tie to jinx & silco, to jinx & vi, and most importantly to jinx and powder herself - this is all quite obvious but again, it's not executed in a way that feels like a forced 'redemption arc' or whatnot. the idea of this little street kid who just imprints on her like a lost little duckling, which is in no way jinx's decision, simply feels natural and heartwarming. does this mean i presume such healing of her inner child is going to come easy to her? no. but it's something. it's something very different from anything she's ever experienced before.

even through the loss, the rootlessness, the grief and confusion, the panic attack we see her experiencing through the lanes as a consequence of the moment she sees vi and caitlyn's enforcer squad, even through the brutality of the fight with vi, - and this is all to say, she's still a very traumatized individual, which is important because it would have just been senseless to have jinx somehow get fully stable like a switch had been flipped - we're seeing something new for jinx here. i've seen many posts related to "i'm glad it's you", and i might be unpopular here but while i do think jinx still has an element of suicidality, i also think she was at least half bluffing there. comparing her micro-expressions with the ones back on the bridge fight with ekko, i'm under the impression she was testing vi, at the very least partially. "poisoning us with gas?" is also an interesting line because even in her attack at her sister, she's less focused on her own trauma and more on something that we've hardly seen from her before - belonging to the lanes.

all of this to say, i'm loving the path they're taking for her. it's still very much jinx. it feels like jinx. but she's not just about to wreak senseless and desperate havoc in order to be seen by either her sister or her father, because there's no one to be seen by anymore. she's not fighting a desperate battle between her identities either, because she's accepted her place. she's not loud and erratic, she's quieter and coming to terms with herself. closure is truly the word that comes to mind, for me, in how i see her arc right now. closure, and unexpectedly, possibility.

[hxney-lemcn]

The Riddle of Love — Gotham! Edward Nygma x gn! reader

summery: Edward's interest shifts to someone who indulges in his love of riddles.

tw: bullying (?), kristen kringle is a warning all her own in this fic, implied rejection (not really tho, Ed's just awkward).

a/n: I hope so much that I wrote all these characters correctly. I have riddler fever rn and really wanted to write for him, but I've always been scared that I'd write him too ooc. I think I did good tho.

wc: 3.1k

Master List

“What is it that no one wants to have, but no one wants to lose either?” I asked. I already knew it was a lost cause. Edward Nygma was the smartest man I had ever met. Dorky? Yes. Nerdy? Absolutely. Smart? Incredibly. So trying to impress him at his own game wasn’t exactly the smartest move. Yet, the first time I gave him a riddle to solve (which he solved ridiculously fast), I don’t think I’d ever seen him so happy. So I continued to scour the internet in my free time to try and find obscure riddles. 

Although this riddle wasn’t that obscure. I was running out of riddles to find, and I sure as hell couldn’t make my own. 

“A lawsuit,” Eddie replied without missing a beat, still focusing on testing blood samples. 

I couldn’t stop the pout that formed on my face, “It’s not fair how smart you are.”

I didn’t see Ed’s lips twitch up, how the praise I didn’t think twice about saying impacted him more than he’d like to admit. It was quiet for a few minutes, and I looked back down to the papers I had brought with me. Sometimes, I found myself working in the forensic lab when I could. One of the perks of being a criminal data analyst. I could make my notes on paper, and then just copy them into the computer later. 

Since I was a data analyst, I was in the record archives often. I was acquainted with Kristen Kringle, which obviously led me to Edward Nygma. She would complain about him if I came in after he had left. At that point I didn’t know him, but I also found her complaints unfounded. I’d let her vent, but I’d also speak up for him, which made her glance away in what I assume was guilt. Then there were the unfortunate times that I’d walk in on his awkward flirting. I’d just tensely put away or take the files I needed for my research and leave them to it. 

But after enough times, I’d caught him in the middle of one of his riddles. An easy one, probably to dumb it down for Kringle so she’d be enticed to answer it in the first place. Yet he had caught the attention of the wrong person. Although that didn’t seem to put a damper on his mood. He only sent me a tight lipped smile with a little ‘ding ding ding!’. That’s how I was caught hook line and sinker. His mannerisms were oddly endearing to me, and that’s how our odd little friendship formed. 

I was brought out of my reverie as Eddie shuffled over to his microscope, “I am a nine lettered word and rhyme with perfection; I am another name for love. What am I?”

I blinked, not ready for a riddle, even though I always should be in the presence of him. I looked up from my work, and I noticed how Eddie was sweating, his cheeks flushing a bright red. I tapped the metal table anxiously, the word love had thrown me off my game and my brain felt empty of anything else. I mumbled words under my breath that rhyme with perfection. 

“Deception, reception, perception,” I mumbled, yet none of them fit the rest of the rhyme. The longer I took, the more anxious Eddie seemed to get. “Affection. Oh! The answer is affection!”

Ed cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses, “Y-yes, that is correct. G-good job.” My proud smile fell into a more awkward one, thinking over the implications. That riddle sounded like one he’d save for Kringle. Was he running out of riddles as well? The thought alone was preposterous. It was tense for a bit. And when I realized I had nothing left to do but input the current data I had on some wanna be gang leader. The sad part is I knew that the cops aren’t going to be the first ones who get them. 

Even though I needed to leave, it felt wrong for some reason. To leave the situation after Edward had seemed to admit something in his unique way of sharing. I didn’t want to assume his feelings, yet I knew he also wasn’t one to just state them willingly. Biting my lip anxiously, I decided to just do it. 

Walking over towards Ed’s hunched form, I leaned down to place a light kiss to his cheek, “I’ll see ya later Eddie.” Then I booked it out of the room, leaving behind a very flustered dork. 

It wasn’t much later in the day when Doctor Lee Thompson entered my office. It wasn’t much of an office. The dark walls made the space feel enclosed, and it barely fit my desk and the few cabinets it held. Yet I didn’t mind it since it was a space for myself. Lee, on the other hand, was another acquaintance whose office was nowhere near mine. She’d only come to my office for a few reasons, if it was work related (which was rare since our departments weren’t similar), or if it was personal. Sometimes she fessed that it seemed I needed some company, that it would do me no good to spend all this time alone in my office. Other times…it was on a more personal note, about Eddie and I’s relationship. 

She plopped a candy bar on my desk, a placating move that was all too familiar.

“You must’ve done a real number on Ed,” She smirked, sitting on my desk. Due to the tiny size of the room, and the nature of my job, I didn’t have a seat for guests. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. Deep down, I knew exactly what she meant. I knew Edward was an awkward man, and his experience with flirting was an ultimate zero. Yet it was hard to imagine that he was still affected by a small gesture of affection… Okay maybe the gesture wasn’t that small, for either of us, but still! 

Lee’s smirk widened, “I think you know exactly what. Poor little Ed kept stumbling over his words when I brought you up. Something must’ve happened.”

I unwrapped the candy bar as she spoke, wanting to avoid any thought of the earlier moment. Looking back it was so awkward and a terrible attempt at…what? Flirting? Was that my intention? I didn’t even know my own intentions! 

I took a bite from the candy bar, savoring the sweet flavor before having to explain the painfully awkward memory. When I managed to explain the event, Lee couldn’t stop herself from chuckling, causing me to finish my candy bar with a bitter look. 

“That sounds like something you’d both do,” She smiled.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” I huffed, trying to fight off the flush of embarrassment I felt. 

“Nothing,” She sighed wistfully. “But you two really take your time, huh?” 

“Shut up,” I scowled. 

“Okay, okay,” She threw her hands up in mock surrender. “I’ll stop teasing…for now. But seriously, I think you two would be cute together.”

I let out a childish groan, “I get it. Is there anything else you need?” 

“No,” She smiled as she stood up. “Just wanted to see what had Ed all wound up.”

I rolled my eyes, but my heart skipped a beat at the implication. As Lee saw herself out, my mind kept racing. What was Ed doing right now? What was he thinking about? Did he really care enough about my opinion, about my affection, that he was still affected by it? I stared at my computer screen, the cursor blinking mindlessly. Glancing at the time, I scowled as I realized I still had 30 minutes left to my shift. The idea of going home, having a relaxing dinner and then maybe treating myself to a warm bath. 

…

That was only the beginning. It seems that Eddie’s admiration had shifted from Kristin Kringle to me. It was flattering, to say the least. At least to me. Once I gained Ed’s attention, I seemed to have gained his colleagues attention as well. Typically, I didn’t work with the officers, I’d research criminals, then that data would be added to the files. So when I walked past James Gordon and Harvey Bullock, I never thought twice. But when Ed had waved at me, that cute tight lipped smile on his face as I waved back, a smile of my own adorning my face, it drew the attention of the two detectives. 

"Careful Ed,” Harvey mocked. “Don’t wanna scare them off.” Jim only glanced up briefly, not interested in the situation in the least. I watched as Ed’s smile twitched for a second, Harvey’s words seeming to get to him. I felt my smile slip, not liking how they treat him in the slightest.

“He…didn’t do anything wrong,” I shrugged, before waving goodbye, making my way to the record archives. Not only them, but even Kringle was looking at me more than just as a person to vent to. 

“I feel sorry for you,” She stated, adjusting her thick rimmed glasses. Her hazel eyes held their usual air of judgment as she placed some files back in their spots. 

“Why?” I asked, flipping through to find the person I needed. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” She asked, raising one of her perfectly maintained eyebrows. “Edward’s got his eyes on another victim.” I frowned, anger bubbling within me at the way she always found new ways to insult him. 

“I wouldn’t describe it like that,” I managed to grit out. “I find the sentiment sweet.”

“Wait,” Kringle paused, turning to look at me with disbelief. “Do you…like him?”

I sighed, finding it hard to focus on the task at hand with this irritating conversation, “Would there be something wrong with that?”

“Isn’t it kind of weird how fast he switched?” She asked, a hint of jealousy in her tone. “I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he loses interest in you.”

I slammed the cabinet shut in a bout of rage, leaving the room before I do something I may regret…or lose my job over. As I exited, my scowl worsened when I realized I didn’t even get what I needed. 

“Hello!” Edward’s excited voice greeted me as I entered the break room. When my gaze landed on him, I felt my expression soften, my shoulder’s relaxing. His brown eyes were so expressive, that silly smile on his face never failed to melt my heart. 

“Hey,” I muttered back. Looking over the options in the vending machine. Just get something to eat, and hopefully I’ll feel better. 

“Is…something the matter?” He asked, fidgeting with his glasses. I let out a long sigh as I sat across from him at one of the few tables. 

Taking a bite of my snack, I took some time to gather my thoughts and feelings, “Sometimes I just hate people.”

His eyebrows raised, nervously fidgeting with his tie, “Th-that’s…understandable.”

“Sorry,” I muttered, finally cooling down. “Someone was just saying some really mean things and it got to me.”

Edwards’ demeanor changed in an instant, a frown replacing his smile, and his eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of concern and anger, “Who?”

I blinked, “What?”

“Who insulted you?” He asked, fists clenched. This wasn’t what I was expecting. He would get annoyed, yeah, but he’d always just stew in it until he calmed down. And he was barely angry when I was around, which was something I was proud of. So seeing him react so harshly was unusual. It made me feel a bit appreciated, that he cared enough to get this angry over it, yet it was also unsettling.

“They…they were insulting you,” I clarified, rubbing my arm awkwardly. “And trust me, I was ready to do some things that would’ve gotten me fired.”

Ed blinked, calming down drastically at the revelation, “Oh.” 

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “I swear if she says one more damned thing about you I’m gonna…” I strangled the air, the only way I could express how frustrated her insults made me.

Edward fake coughed, his cheeks tinged a light pink, “I assume you mean Miss Kringle.”

I paused, hoping it didn’t hurt that his past interest was still as rude as ever. “I didn’t even manage to get the files I needed,” I grumbled, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

“...I can get them for you,” I felt my heart crack. Was he still interested in her? Was that why he was so ready to go into the den of the woman who so readily insults him? 

“Oh, no you don’t have to do that,” I shook my head. “I’ll just have Lee do it.”

Ed blinked, seeming to think over something before standing up, “I’ll be right back.” Before he was fully out the door he paused, “Whose case files did you need?”

I couldn’t help the tiny grin at how eager he was as I gave him the names of the people I needed files on. Yet that smile fell. Was he really so excited to get a chance to see Kringle that he almost left without knowing what files he needed? I finished my snack, getting a drink from the vending machine while I was at it. My mind continued to make up terrible scenarios that could be happening at that moment. How she could manage to crush Ed’s precious heart even more than she’s already managed to.

Ed was back quicker than I realized. It took him less than ten minutes! He set the files I needed on the table, that tight lipped grin on his face as he waited for my input.

“Oh! Thank you!” I thanked, flipping through the files to make sure they were all there. “She didn’t give you any trouble, did she?”

“No,” He replied simply. As I met his gaze, that’s when I finally realized that he was truly over Kringle. I should’ve felt disturbed at how intense his gaze was, at how strong his emotions seemed to be when he wasn’t even trying. Yet I only felt flattered, important, and wanted. Emotions I wasn’t completely used to, and caused my heart to stutter at how strong my own emotions were becoming. 

Standing up, I leaned in and kissed his cheek again, this time a bit more confident then the last time I did. I waved goodbye as I walked out with the files he gave me. I felt pride swell within me as I watched Eddie become a flustered mess as I left. It was a good mood lifter as I watched him fumble with his usual nervous ticks, before he was finally out of my sight. 

…

Edward’s courting tactics only seemed to grow after that. I wasn’t sure what changed him to do so. I could only speculate that Lee had something to do with it. She kept stopping by my office, asking how Ed and I were doing like she hadn’t just seen us the day before. I can’t lie, I was reveling in the attention that Ed was giving me, and I could tell he’d revel in my attention as well. A mutual pining on both sides. 

Normally, I’d be okay with that. Too scared to try and push things forward. Edward Nygma was different. He was just so…amazing. I’ve never felt so strongly towards someone. He was sweet, attentive, smart, and overall lovely. I couldn’t just settle for pining, I wanted to experience what it would be like as his lover. 

Which led me to this horrendous mess up of a confession.

I dressed up a bit nicer than usual, hoping to impress the cute dork. I felt confident in myself, an emotion I don’t feel regularly. I greeted Lee, who seemed like she guessed the occasion and sent me a wink when I walked past. 

“Hey Eddie,” I greeted, setting a cup of coffee down on the counter.

“Oh! Hello,” He greeted me, smiling. “You seem chipper this morning.”

Nudging the coffee towards him I smiled back, “It’s a good day today. I got you a coffee.”

“You didn’t need to,” Ed replied sheepishly, not used to people giving him things. 

I only shrugged, “I wanted to.” I tapped the counter I was leaning on as nerves started to slowly creep through me. So, before my anxiety could get the best of me, I blurted out, “What is mine but only you can have?”

With furrowed eyebrows, Ed actually paused to answer a riddle for the first time during this little game we had. His eyes flitted around the room, like he was trying to avoid the answer. I know he was smart enough to figure it out, so the fact he was taking so long to answer caused my heart rate to spike from anxiety. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I was reading the room wrong. I blame Lee for feeding me a wrong understanding. 

“I…uh…” Ed stuttered over his words, sweat dripping down the side of his face. Shit, shit, shit! I shouldn’t have said that. He does know the answer, I found it online easily, he obviously knows. He doesn’t feel the same and now he’s trying to find a way to politely reject me. 

“Nevermind!” I exclaimed, trying to quell my nerves by getting the fuck out of here. “Stupid riddle! Never needs an answer. I should get to work.”

“W-wait!” Eddie called out, making me stop in my tracks. So close yet so far. “I can be a fruit, I can be on a calendar, I can be important, and I can be forgotten. What am I?”

Turning back around, I watched as Eddie picked at his nails. We both seemed like complete messes at the moment. It was hard for me to think of anything due to my previous failure of admitting my feelings. I bit my lip awkwardly, trying to stop myself from making any more of a fool of myself.

“I…I’m not sure Eddie,” I chuckled solemnly.

Clearing his throat, he adjusted his glasses before admitting, “A date. W-would you accompany me on one?” I stared at him with wide eyes, unsure if I heard him correctly.

“Y-yeah! Of course I will!” That tinge of embarrassment was quickly overpowered by exhilaration. The smile that stretched across my face almost hurt with how big it was. Eddie’s smile was also wide as he still couldn’t meet my eyes.

“Is…is tonight okay? Dinner? 7 o’clock?”

“That sounds perfect.” 

And to make the moment better, I kissed his cheek before parting, excited for what the night held for us.

[little-forest-goblin]

You know something? I'm feeling feral and I'm super upset (but I understand) about Kay and Mango leaving so why not go a little crazy? This Fandom may be sad but Dammit! We continue out of spite if we must!

My request: (As always, only if you feel comfortable with this. Please never force yourself) Five with a F-Reader. They're relaxing in his apartment one night and while F-Reader is older body wise (mid to late 20s maybe?) She's still younger than him and he wonders why she doesn't want to go out to things like clubs or bars.

She tells him it's not her scene, never felt comfortable there. Besides, she can show him just how much fun staying in really can be. (I'm just saying, I feel like the man would be a fan of oral. Take that however you want.)

Lastly, really just thank you for sticking around. It breaks my heart to see S4 ruining the love others carried for this show. Especially when they put so much heart and mind in it. Maybe the comic coming back will help us feel better.

Hi! This is a really good ask and i will definitely do it. Also yeah it is a bit upsetting that they left i understand that but don’t worry god damn it i’m not leaving until they kill me and drag me off this ship! It is very upsetting they ruined a lot of people with S4.

Lts get feral. I will happily fill in your request. Without further ado here i present you.

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~Lip service~

Warnings: Oral sex (F and M receiving), Switch five and switch reader, details!!, tooth rotting fluff!!!

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It was yet a late night in fives apartment. The tv was on a boring comedy show that honestly you dont think anyones ever heard of. It was one of those cheesy ones with the laugh track in the back and grainy visuals. The jokes in the show just weren't landing and the laugh track would be played at odd times where it wasn't funny. It's like a comedy show made on a budget. 

Five sat in the living room with you just watching this shitty show that decided to grace their presence. 

On the coffee table were two plates and a now empty box of pizza they had ordered a while ago. Nobody felt like cooking and pizza has been on their mind for a little while. 

Five sighed and looked over at you staring at you as you rested your cheek on your fist watching the shitty show until you looked at him 

“What?”

“Why do you never wanna leave the house?” he said suddenly like the thought has been eating away at him

you raised a brow before chuckling. “All my stuff including my bed is there.”

he smiled and shook his head “Jesus christ you know that's not what i meant” 

you chuckled and shrugged “I don't know i guess i just never like going out”

he made a hum of acknowledgement before turning back to the TV watching that dull ass show again. No thank you. He looked back at you “But don't you ever want to go out sometimes? What about a club?”

you looked back at him from the TV show “I do like to go out sometimes but i'd rather be at home. As for clubs i just don't enjoy them”

He was a little surprised. He may be physically in his twenties and mentally he is this odd mix of old and young but he knew very well that usually in your twenties you want to go out and party. Most of them did. 

He turned right back to you “Why do you never wanna go out? You know, meet new people? Find someone?” 

you chuckled and turned back to him “Yeah cause i'd love to bump and grind against a random person i do not know. That sounds so appealing” you said with a hint of amusement and genuinity

that got a chuckle out of him. He had to admit the club was not exactly the best place to find love anyway. He also was pretty relieved. It might be selfish but it's not like he is keeping you here against your will but if he ever saw someone against you like that he doesn't think the jealousy would be maintained. More than likely it would be out there for the world to see. A dark green jealousy monster. He kinda wonders if you feel the same.

You looked back at the shitty TV show and leaned your head on your closed fist. “I'm starting to think you enjoy this show with how much its on”

he rolled his eyes “No it's just a time filler. Background noise, you know?”

“pfft yeah right. I think you like this show. No shame in that” 

he scoffed “Says the one who is a hermit in the house staying there all the time”

you tsk’d and turned to look at him leaning closer “Says the one who can't control his drinking”

he was shocked at that but not offended “That was a low blow even for you!” 

you laughed “That wasn't anything ill show you a low blow” admittedly when you said that it didn't sound right from the beginning. You saw him smirk and your face heated up. You tsk’d “Wipe the stupid grin off your face”

he chuckled “No no please continue show me this low blow”

“Fuck you” you mumbled he grabbed your chin forcing you to look at him. his eyes are dark and intense. It almost made you nervous. Almost. 

“I should fix that naughty mouth of yours for you. You keeping giving me all that lip service and im gonna fuck it right out of you” he said with his eyes locked on yours never moving out of sight. He said it with dominance but with wiggle room for you to say no.

You were paralyzed for a minute. It almost shocked you. Again ALMOST. you looked up at him and your eyes intensified. You had to admit his offer was making your panties wet and it wasn't like you didn't like him, you just never thought he liked you. 

Even through all the bullshit and all the problems and apocalypse after apocalypse you were there for him and he was there for you. Although there were times you wanted to strangle each other to death. 

You smirked and grabbed his hand and moved them from your jaw. You smirked and climbed into his lap which had him a little surprised and flustered. You instead moved his hands to your hips as you say your pretty ass down right over his dick. “Tell me to get off and I will.”

he swallowed. God he did not want you to move. His dick was already hardening feeling your core right against his cock “St-stay”

You smiled softly and then grinded causing you to let out a little breath and for five to moan in relief. You could feel his dick hardening in his pants probably leaking.

he panted holding onto your hips as he tried to get you to go faster “B-baby please…”

“ah ah ah not so fast i'm setting the pace” you grinned evilly and went slow making him let out a keening whine. 

You smirked climbing off and in between his legs “I'm boring? i'll show i'm a good time” 

he panted as he watched you unbutton his pants “Oh fuck y/n” 

(Fives POV)

her hands wrapped around my cock. God she looked so pretty like this. I couldn't help but let out groans as she pumped my cock nice and slow at first doing this to drive me crazy and to break me. Fuck it felt so good but not enough.

I want to break. I want to be hers. I want her to be mine. Fuck i need her. I wasn't usually the submissive one but the feeling rose up in my belly along with pleasure and need. I can't help but need her. She meant so much to me.

I dint think she understands how much she means to me sticking with me through everything and helping ne through the worst of the fucking worst. She was my ride or die.

“Fuck y/n please go faster” i panted out not able to hold in my begging. With an evil grin she squeezed my cock a little giving it a delicious pressure and then stroked giving it that delicious friction. 

I was keening my hands gripping onto the sofa “F-fuck just like that. i need you so badly, baby”

I looked down at her as she brought herself to my leaking dick. It slowly leaked precum from the tip and slid down the sides of it. 

I watched as she kissed from the base of my cock to the tip before licking up the length of it gathering the precum just to taste for herself.

(End of fives pov. Your pov)

You had just kissed the length of his cock watching him squirm at the feeling. You watched as his back arched softly as you licked up the length of his cock giving him a smirk “That feel good baby?” you said sweetly

he nodded his eyes needy and his moans sweet and whiny

you tsk’s and slowed your movements “I need you to use your words baby” 

he panted “Y-yes it feels so good. D-don't stop”

you felt triumph in your chest. You smiled up at him “Such a good boy. Good boys deserve a reward.”

you took the tip of his cock in your warm wet mouth making him let out a surprised gasp and his back arch. Hard. 

you slid your mouth up and down his cock slowly at first. Flattening your tongue for him. He was in heaven. Relief fulfilling him. But relief soon turned into loud needy moans as you really started bobbing your head. Your tongue worked wonders on him. your hands pumped whatever you couldn't reach. His hand went to your hair in desperation to hold onto something

“Please do more! oh god please!” he whined out making you go faster

his stomach began to tighten like a cord pulled taut and was continuously being pulled slowly. He looked down at you and watched how you worked him like how no other woman could. His cock disappearing and reappearing in and out of your warm wet mouth. His cock glistening with a mix of precum and your spit. 

just watching you made the feeling in his lower stomach become tighter. You looked up at him as you pulled up and worked his tip with your tongue. It was his undoing. The eye contact with you was too much. 

“F-fuck y/n!”

you knew what that meant. You went back down bobbing up and down really working him which became his undoing. You felt his cock twitch and throb until white ropes of his essence spilled into your awaiting mouth and relaxed throat. You swallowed it all down. His hand on your head keeps you there. His head had fallen back, his mouth hung open in a silent moan. He saw stars behind his eyelids. 

you pulled off looking up at him smugly. You felt quite accomplished and incredibly wet for having just rocked this man's world.

he looked down at you “ y/n…you're amazing.”

you chuckled “What cause i just sucked your dick like a pro?”

he smiled as he caught his breath. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you a little slowly since he was a little wiped out from that. He felt like you just sucked his soul out of him. you happily kissed back which quickly became heated again. He laid you back down and kissed uo your jaw, down your neck and chest and down your body coming to your pants. he looked up at you asking permission which you of course nodded a yes. He was quickly tearing them things off leaving you in your panties which made him incredibly pleased.

“God, you're so pretty. I can’t believe i can call you mine” 

you raised a brow your heart nonetheless leaped. You watched as he kissed your thighs reverently “You never asked if i could be yo-“

he obviously didn't wanna hear it cause he buried his face between your legs making you gasp. “Oh holy- FIVE!”

His clever tongue was working on you like a starved man who needed a drink of water in the desert. 

his tongue flattened and licked you from your slit to your clit making you shiver. His tongue did that for a while giving you the same teasing treatment you had done to him to drive him wild. your hand shot out to his hair. “Oh five please!” 

he smirked against your pussy “please what princess?” he said. It was muffled and let off vibrations making you gasp softly 

“God damn it you know what!” you weren't quite ready to relinquish the high of control you had

he pulled off his chin covered in your honey. “If you don't tell me than i guess you don't want me to please you”

you bit your lip and as he began to pulled away you broke “Fuck please fucking eat me out five! I need you so badly!!”

he smirked “That's what i thought” he buried his head again and was latched into your clit for seconds making you gasp and your back arch up. his mouth sucked and licked at your clit in a frenzy.

His lips wrapping around your clit and gently tugging and sucking. He had to admit he was getting a bit pussy drunk. He loved how you tasted. He could stay down here and die if you would let him. He would die completely happy too.

your moans echoed in the room “Holy hell yes! God just like tha-“ you were cut off by let out a gasp as he nibbled on your clit a little letting a soft shot of pleasurable pain go through you. It was like a dull ache that had you keening for more. He kept doing that and soothing it with his tongue making you desperate and whine for  more.

He looked up at you loving how you looked in pleasure. It was satisfying for him to see you so satisfied. His tongue was then thrusting into you making you scream in pleasure. your legs threatened to close around his head but his hands came to your thighs holding you open which made you squirm cause it kept him in the spot that had you seeing stars. 

your walls began to flutter and clench. His hand moved to let his thumb rub your clit as his tongue thrusted in and out of you. You squirmed and moaned in need of release. 

“Cum for me y/n come on. Come on beautiful” he praised. the vibrations going through you being the last thing that made you fall over the edge

your back arched up and your head fell back and your mouth hung open as a loud moan left you as he kept going until there was nothing left but overstimulation and twitches in your thigh.

he slowly drew away and wiped his mouth. Looking at you with desire, love and so much more. 

you panted and your back went back against the bed. You opened your eyes looking up at him. He smiled softly and crawled over you. You leaned up on your elbows and kissed him which he happily returned the kiss to you.

you both stayed like that for a while until you and him pulled away softly. You couldn't help but wonder what this made you both. You really hoped you liked the answer

“Five, what does this make us?”

he stayed silent almost in thought which made you nervous and begin to ramble

“cause i don't want this to ruin us and i don't want this to be a one time only thing cause i really like you five i-“

he kissed you softly to shut you up and then pulled off looking you in the eyes with genuine love 

“I'm glad you like me too, y/n. I don't want this to be a one time thing either and i don't want to be just friends. I wanna be more”

you smiled tears of joy coming to your eyes. “Will you be mine five?”

he smiled softly “You already have my heart why would i ever say no?”

you chuckled “God your cheesy”

“only for you” he said smiling as he leaned in and kissed you again.

you and him were wrapped in each other's love. For one another. Something no one could take from you and something nobody has been able to successfully do. 

———————————————————————

Thank you for your request dear reader! I am so glad you gave me this request and any more would be greatly appreciated! I love you and be safe out there 😘💋

[the-life-of-a-herm]

Warning for discussion of infant mutilation, and single use of the h slur(though in name), and talk of genitals, thought I'd share my story as a tfem intersex person.

I was born with what I guess could be classified as a pseudopenis. It was small, it didn't work, and it was more than wonky looking. But it was there, and it didn't seem to cause me any problems. CAH is fun(sarcastic).

I could have been camab, I guess. I even have prostate tissue. But my parents wanted a baby girl. So it was taken from me, and while i was raised as a girl at first, it became clear that despite my period, everything else about my puberty was wrong. They switched teams then, and treated me like a boy, because everyone else did.

I'm still seen as a man "wanting" to be a woman, even by my parents, who wanted that baby girl. I will never be cis in the eyes of the cis. I will never be trans in the eyes of the trans. Too much of one to be the other. I will always be "other".

When intersex people made our own terms to describe our experience(that being AGAB/CAGAB), they were taken from us. Historical, cultural labels meaning intersex have been changed to include or mean transgender. Labels like tfemmasc and its variants were taken from us. There's people who identify as a label based on hermaphroditus's rapist, because we told them they couldn't transition to intersex. So when we're told to "make up our own terms", what do you want us to do? We tried.

Beautifully put together story.. If all these people stopped caring about their little tokien intersex people who agree with them on discourse and started listening to more intersex people (as a whole, not bias sampling) then I truly think they'd see it better. But oh well. Willfully ignorant people just want to spread harm.. its horrible.

uhm but lets not add this on a sad note! I do believe genuinely in social change. If I didn't this would be a krapopolis blog! The people who do this extreme intersexist stuff are a minority, I know it's hard to see but they are. The rest are able to be educated and are not willfully ignorant to our issues because they want to uphold the sex binary.

This is why I reply to intersexist things when I see them. Even if the person had 1000 active followers, I don't care. Because regardless, I don't want for a second for people to think they're safe in a little bubble where they can support our oppression. And there's a chance of somebody reading it, looking at one side who just goes "nuh uh" and the other who has more reasoning behind it, and becoming more educated than they'd be if they just saw the side of somebody telling them what to believe. If any of that makes sense. Calling things out is a crucial part of social change, and I have faith in my heart one day it will pay off.

Much love, anon!

[factual-fantasy]

Can i grab you by the ankles and slowly drag you deeper into the transformers' Fandom?

Purely with your permission (:

XD I've been thinking about it. But ngl I'm put off by the amount of work it would take to rejoin the fandom and build my AU.

To start, I'd have to re-watch the whole show to refresh my memory.. which would be a lot for my short attention span to handle 😅(I never even finished the show the first time around because of this 💀)

Then I'd want to do a LOT of crazy rewrites to the story and a BOAT LOAD of redesigns. Basically everyone except Arcee and the deceptions get a brand new design and alt-modes.. so much redesigninggg 😵‍💫

And THEN I'd have to work out all the whack job changes I wanna make to the story. For one I would want Wheeljack to stay put with the Autobots when he first came to Earth in episode 8. Which would entail me digging into Wheeljacks character and figure out why he kept leaving. And then make a situation or something about Earth/the Autobots that compels Wheeljack to stay SO MUCH that it overrides his desire to leave Earth. Hmm.. what would that be exactly.. 🤔

I also want Sky Quake and Dread wing (was that their names..?) to get away from Earth together unscathed. Or at least give them some kind of ending where they are together. I remember the fates they had in the show made me very sad :(((

And then there's the even MORE complicated changes. Like the fact that I want Cliffjumper AND Tailgate to be alive and well A N D on Earth with everyone else. Just for the heck of it ngl 😂 But I ALSO want Arcee to keep her initial standoffish attitudes towards Jack.. that I thiiiink I remember her having...? I also want her to still have that bitter hatred towards Airachnid. Hmmmm a loooot of plot holes to patch there...

I also want Breakdown to be alive and have joined the Autobots. Which would later cause Knockout to rethink things and join the Autobots as well. I saw that Knockout joins the Autobots in the actual show but I just never saw what made him do it-

Another thing is I remember not really liking Smokescreen, Ultra Magnus and the new body for Optimus and their new base... I would probably build up my AU juuuuust far enough to get breakdown on the team and then call it there. I wouldn't write any further because I don't care for Smokescreen or Ultra Magnus. Which I thiiiiink came after that whole Breakdown thing....? It would just turn into a "day in the life of" AU where the plot wouldn't really progress much further.

So yeah, I'm open to drawing more of it here and there.. but I've got my work cut out for me if I ever wanted to officially rejoin the fandom 😅

[izzytheloser12]

~~~~ More kaishin incorrect quotes~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi*

Kaito: Dom or sub?

Shinichi: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

~~~~~~

Kaito: You look good in that hoodie.

Shinichi: You know where else I'd look good?

Kaito, zero hesitation: My bed.

Shinichi, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Kaito: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Shinichi: WHAT

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.

Kaito: Shinichi, that’s gay.

Shinichi: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

~~~~~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi part 2*

Kaito: I like your new pants!

Shinichi: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Kaito: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Shinichi: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Kaito: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Shinichi: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kaito.

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: You know, Kaito, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi, why are you crying?

Shinichi: This book is so sad!!

Kaito, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Shinichi: your life is really sad kaito

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Shinichi: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Kaito, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Kaito: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Shinichi: But you’re always acting stupid?

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Did it hurt when you fell-

Kaito: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Shinichi: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Kaito: ...

Shinichi: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Shinichi: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Bonjour, Kaito. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Kaito: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Shinichi: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Kaito: WHAT

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Kaito: This is a lie.

Kaito: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Kaito: HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I'm at a loss for words!

Kaito: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Shinichi yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Why are you like this??

Shinichi: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

~~~~~~

Kaito, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice

Shinichi, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

~~~~~~

Shinichi: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Kaito: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Shinichi: Holy shit-

~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi and I are no longer dating.

Shinichi: Kaito, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

[beenbaanbuun]

Bunnnnyyyy I'm having yuyu withdrawals 😭😭

I recently stumbled across the spiderman yuyu edit on Instagram again and it has me running LAPS

Like can you imagine being roommates with photography major spider!yunho, noticing his odd disappearances and late nights but never saying anything, which he appreciates because lord knows he doesn't have the capacity for it rn sinde I'd headcannon this is right after his uncle's desth when he's still in his angry grief era.

But MC would be sweet even though he's cold and kinda mean, she wouldn't be nosy or pry, always asks him to eat with her out of courtesy (which isn't a big deal for her but it kinda chips away at his heart because she's so sweet about it).

Still he maintains certain boundaries till one day he comes home all beat up and bruised, and MC patches him back up, there’s so much tension in the room when she has to peel off his shirt to check the bruises on his sides, when he softly asks why she cares about him so much, when she quietly admits that it's because she likes him-

AKSHSKSHDKSDBJSBZSJ

I'm just..... obsessed with Yunho

-lyra

so this sent me a little insane and i wrote so much more than i was expecting to 😭😭 spidey!yunho has sent me down a rabbit hole and this is what we ended up with…

——————————————————————————“can we eat together tonight?” you ask as you stir the pasta around the pot. you made two portions, as usual, in the sheer hope that he wouldn’t be going out again. “i found this recipe i thought you’d like. i figured it might help cheer you up!” you shrug as if it’s no big deal.

but it is to yunho. as he picks his backpack up from the floor, he feels his heart break just a little. it would be so much easier for him to leave the apartment every night if it wasn’t for the fact that you were such a sweetheart. the fact that you always cook for him whenever you make something for yourself is something that has been slowly chipping away at his hard exterior for months now. the way that you put it in the fridge along with a cute little note whenever he isn’t there to eat with you has almost properlybroken that exterior in two.

yunho can’t deny that half of those precious little notes are stashed in the drawer of his nightstand; he rereads them whenever his emotions get the better of him. seeing the sweet messages scrawled onto the yellow post-it-notes never fails to make him smile. your pretty little words in your pretty little handwriting… he’d be insane not to keep them.

you turn around, taking your attention away from the pot for just a moment, and spot him with his jacket on and his rucksack slung lazily over one shoulder. as your face falls, he can’t help the way his heart breaks just a little more. you probably think you’ve hidden your disappointment well, and to anyone else you might have done. it’s just a shame that yunho is the way that he is, because he sees the way your shoulders deflate and the shadow of a frown disrupts your pretty face. he can practically feel the sadness radiating from you in waves, the hairs at the back of his neck standing up slightly as your not-so-obvious upset puts him on edge.

but then you seem to remember yourself, and within seconds you’ve picked yourself back up and are offering a small smile to him. he still feels that prickling at the back of his neck, though.

although it becomes apparent pretty quickly that that sensation may be caused by his own disappointment, rather than yours. as much as he’d like to pretend otherwise, he can’t deny the way that the feeling in his neck grows as he watches you pull a tupperware from the cupboard. you swap it with his dish - it was really yours, but you’d named it his because it’s red and red reminds you of him, for some reason - and he has to stifle his own frown. for some reason watching you replace the ceramic bowl with the plastic tub hits him right in the chest…

“i’ll put yours in the fridge, then,” you say as you turn back to the pasta and give it a stir, “you can grab it whenever you’re hungry; maybe when you get back tonight?”

sweetheart, his brain repeats over and over like a mantra. it rattles round his skull whilst he tries to find the words to thank you. to let you know just how much he appreciates it, even if he doesn’t always show it. and the words are right there. right on the top of his tongue…

but for some reason he can’t get them out.

“i’ll see you later,” is all he mumbles before he slips out of the doorway and dashes down the hallway to the open window that awaits him at the end.

you try not to let the way the door slams shut hurt you, but even with the strongest will in the world you wouldn’t be able to take away the ache in your chest. he’s just going through a rough patch, you try to convince yourself as you spoon his serving into the tupperware and clip the lid shut. he just needs some time alone after everything that’s happened to him, you think as you slip it into the fridge. it’ll be better soon, you pray as you pull out a pen and think about what to write on his note.

hope this pasta cheers you up, yun! if you like it, let me know and i’ll make it more often for you!!

the words make you cringe, but you slip it next to the tupperware anyway, closing the fridge with a huff. you doubt he even reads the notes anyway, so why does it matter if what you write on them is a little sickly-sweet.

with a sigh you grab your bowl and turn to the couch, ready to settle in and do nothing for the night. as usual, yunho’s portfolio stuff is everywhere, as well as the photos of that one spider-guy that he’s been collecting for his new job at the daily bugle. you hate the newspaper yourself, thinking that the conspiracy-led journalism is nothing but fear mongering nonsense, but you can’t fault yunho for working there; he’s only in it for the money, afterall. it’s just the life of a collage student to have to sell out your morals for a paycheck.

you pick it all up, organising it into somewhat-coherent piles on the coffee table before flopping down onto the ratty sofa and flicking the TV on. the volume is barely at a whisper, and you can’t help but curse yunho for having such good hearing; no doubt he feels the same when he turns the TV on to a deafening wall of sound after you’ve used it. the thought gives you a quick chuckle as you flick through the channels to find something to watch. you settle on a dumb reality show, quickly settling in for the evening so you can eat your pasta in peace.

———

hours pass before yunho returns, swinging the door open and startling you out of your TV-centred tunnel vision. you turn to him in surprise, ready to gently scold him for putting what would no doubt be another dent in the wall. that will have to come out of both of your deposits, you prepare yourself to tell him, but when you actually see him you pause.

he’s hunched up against a wall, chest rising and falling as he struggles to breathe. there’s a wheeze when he inhales, which only gets stronger when he breathes out, and the look of pain on his face that comes each and every time he respires sends you straight into panic mode. you don’t bother to turn the TV off as you stand up and rush towards him.

“fucking hell, yun,” you cry as you reach him. he winces at your shrill tone, drawing back into himself as you invade his personal space to check for injuries. the obvious one is his side, which he’s clutching in his grip like his life depends on it; you assume it’s a cracked rib, which would explain why breathing looks like it’s taking all of his effort. despite its necessity, its a notoriously painful thing to do with a broken rib.

a broken nose can make it difficult too, and as you begin to scan his face, you realise that he definitely has one of those. the way it twists to the side slightly, blood oozing from his right nostril like a faucet makes you flinch back a little, as if you’re the one that’s injured. you compose yourself quickly as you continue your search. black eye, split brow, split lip - the list goes on, but thankfully none of it seems too irreparable. with your basic knowledge of first aid, and yunho’s weirdly extensive first aid kit, you’re bound to have him fixed up in no time.

“bathroom,” you stutter out, taking a step back to give him some space. he almost misses your warmth as he watches you take a few steps towards the room that separates his bedroom from yours. he chases it, pushing himself away from the wall and stumbling after you. he doesn’t know why he wants you so close all of a sudden, but he feels like he needs it to survive. those brief few seconds he had you close somehow made him breathe a little easier. he follows you into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

silently, you gesture to the toilet and he takes a seat on the closed lid. his broad torso leans back against the tiles, and he relishes in the way that the cold seeps through his shirt and washes over his too-hot body. his head tips back against it too, and he watches you through hooded eyes as you scramble through the cabinet to find his first-aid kit.

sweetheart, his mind whispers again as you sit there on your knees in front of the cabinet, pushing rolls of toilet paper and bottles of cleaning product to the side. only you could be so adorably caring towards him after all these months of him actively pushing you away. only you would be so worried for him after he’d been trying his hardest to avoid you for months on end.

only you.

that feeling at the back of his neck comes back, only this time it’s stronger. every single hair on his body stands on end as he watches you pull the black bag from the back of the cabinet, whispering a cute little ‘a-ha’ to yourself. he smiles at that, not even bothering to hide it from you when you turn to him with the kit in hand. he doesn’t need to anymore; you’ve already seen everything else he used to hide.

which reminds him of his tattered spider-suit in his grasp. yunho holds out the red spandex for you to take from him, half expecting you to examine it and unveil all his secrets, but you don’t. you don’t even look at it as you toss the filthy fabric into the bathtub and turn the cold tap on. it’s the best for getting blood out, afterall. with little more thought about the piece of fabric, you turn back to yunho and unzip the black bag.

“unbutton your shirt,” you mutter as you pull out some wipes, a tube of antiseptic cream, and a large square bandage. you have no idea if his side is actually bleeding or not, but it’s best to be prepared, right? you look back at him with the materials in hand, only to see him staring back at you with an unreadable look in his eyes.

“what?” you grumble, taking notice of the fact that he hasn’t moved an inch. his hand was still clutched over his side and his shirt was still messily buttoned up. you sigh and move towards him, thinking nothing of it when you drop to your knees between his thighs and begin to unbutton the white fabric. his breath hitches as your fingers brush against his chest, but you pay him no mind, “yunho, move your arm - i need to get your shirt off.”

he doesn’t, remaining still as ever as you undo the last button that you can. you sit back on your haunches and watch him from where you sit between his spread legs.

“yun, come on,” you whine, and he closes his eyes at the sound. so beautiful; if only he wasn’t in pain so he could enjoy it more, “i need to undo the rest of your buttons and i can’t when you’re not letting me!”

you lay a hand on his wrist in a pleading gesture, asking wordlessly to let you take care of him. he listens this time and loosens his grip on his ribs. you pull his hand away, sucking in a breath as you catch sight of the red stain that his hand was previously covering. it’s not huge, but it still needs seeing to, so you go back to unbuttoning his shirt.

yunho tries not to think too hard as your hand brushes over his crotch when you undo the last two, just like when you eventually finish and push the sides of his shirt open to reveal his bare chest. it’s covered with bruises, and he bites his lip to suppress a groan as your delicate fingers dance softly across his damaged skin. he finds himself wishing the circumstances were different, and that you sitting between his legs, touching his chest could be so much more than you just worrying about him. as he watches you pick up the antiseptic wipes again, he’s reminded that that’s all it is; you being worried.

but that too confuses him. after all this time of him being a downright dick to you, you’re still so gentle with him. he’s abrupt and rude, and yet you still smile and say hello whenever you see him. he’s never around to eat with you, and yet you never fail to make him a meal every time you cook. he’s kept so much from you, and yet here you are, taking care of him like none of that ever mattered. like you can somehow see the man he is underneath all that.

he whimpers, and he’s not quite sure whether it’s because of the pain of the antiseptic wipe, or the pain he feels in his heart. either way, he needs something to take his mind off it all.

“why?” he asks as you clean his wound with a kind hand. so soft, your touch, as if you’re scared of hurting him. as if anything you could ever do would hurt him.

“why what?” you respond as you toss away the bloodied wipe and move to grab the cream. you put a dollop on your finger and begin to gently press it against the wound. he groans, and you mutter out a small apology. you mean it too; you don’t want to cause him any more pain.

“why are you doing this?” he says through gritted teeth, breathing heavy and laboured as he tried to power through the sting that he feels in his side, “why are you so nice to me when i’m - oh fuck, it hurts - when i’m anything but nice to you?”

you pause for a second, mulling over his question, repeating it in your mind until you can settle on an answer. well, an answer that’s palatable for him, anyway.

“you’re not not nice,” you say, capping the cream and putting it down on top of yunho’s thigh; you’d need it layered anyway. then you grab the bandage and rip off the adhesive cover, “and even if you were, i don’t think that wouldn’t change how i feel about you as a person.”

he watches with confusion in his eyes as you line up the bandage and smooth it over his skin. you run your fingers along the edges, pressing it down the make sure it’s secure. he’s sure that they linger on his skin for a moment longer than they have to, but he says nothing as you pull your hand back and rest it on your lap.

“how do you feel about me?” he whispers quietly into the cold air of the bathroom. it’s quite possibly the worst place he can imagine to have this conversation, and yet it seems the fit the atmosphere perfectly. somehow it feels so natural, talking about feelings whilst you patch up his injuries in the bathroom.

“i’ve fallen for you,” you bite the bullet, just coming straight out with it, “hook, line, and sinker, yun.”

it feels good to get it off your chest at long last. even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, or it makes things weird between the two of you. even if he begins to avoid you more, or just straight up moves out, it’s feels nice to have it out in the open. you’ve cast your net, it’s up to him whether or not he lets you catch him…

“oh,” is all he says at first, and you try not to think too much into that single syllable. you pick up the tube of antiseptic cream again and turn your attention to his eyebrow, “you like me?”

you nod as you put another globule on your finger and lean into him to get closer to the cut. you ignore the way he stares at you as you work, trying you hardest to avoid making eye contact. you already feel like your heart is about to beat itself free from your chest; you don’t need to worry it any more.

but then you feel a finger brush softly against your face, a scabbed up knuckle teasing your soft skin as it’s traces your cheekbone. a breath gets caught in your throat, and your finger stills against yunho’s brow bone. against your better judgement, you let yourself focus on his expression, making eye contact with the chocolate pools that never failed to draw you in. they’re beautiful, as always, but they reveal so much more than they usually do. the corners crinkle up into crows feet as his pupils twinkle with an emotion you’ve never really seen on his face before. it suits him… a lot.

“that’s a relief,” he breathes out, the semblance of a chuckle in his voice, “i’ve been calling you sweetheart in my brain since the moment we moved in together; it’ll be nice to be able to call you that to your face… sweetheart.”

[justporo]

Astarion owns property in my head at this point. Can I request for Astarion and Tav where they finally settle down after everything with the Absolute is over and has finally calmed down, and Tav immediately gets extremely sick. Nothing deadly, but still severe. After all the stress from the tadpoles and fighting for their lives, Tav's body kinda just gives out. I'd imagine Astarion would be at a complete loss at taking care of someone, let alone someone that sick lol probably gets scared they're dying too

Oh, Anon, I feel you. It's not that he lives in my head rentfree, no! He owns the building and makes ME pay the rent by now...

This request resonates a lot with me, today, because I'm frankly barely holding on atm, my stomach's acting up and I can't wait for the finishline for this week... so I too could actually use some Astarion taking care of me - although if that might help? Let's see! (Spoilers ahead)

This is pure ridiculous fluff btw. And thank you for the sweet request!

Pairing: Astarion / GN!Tav (You) Wordcount: 1,5k

Strawberry Sugar High

You hadn't left the bed for the better part of a week and you felt you had contracted most every kind of ailment that one could suffer from under this sun. You felt shaky and dizzy. Your limbs hurt and felt weak. Your stomach was in a weird limbo of feeling strange and barely allowing you to keep anything down. Radiating heatwaves making your whole body sweat came and switched places with icy chills so even the coziest of blankets couldn't stop you from shivering. You were down bad - and Astarion almost scaled the walls not knowing what to do with you or how to take care of you.

"My sweet, I brought you...", Astarion started to announce cheerfully as he opened the door to your bedroom with a bowl and a steaming mug in his hands. Then he saw how you had hogged every possible piece of fabric in your giant joint bed and had wrapped yourself in it. At the sight of it, Astarion's shoulders slumped visibly and with it his procured goods - which almost caused scorching hot tea to splash on the floor.

“…some fruit and tea”, he finished audibly distraught and walked over to sit somewhat next to where you had rolled up into a mess of sheets and blankets and were silently shivering. He carefully placed down mug and bowl on the nightstand before he turned to the pile that you had become.

“I really thought you were getting better, my love!” The sad and suffering puppy eyes he made at you almost made you think he was the one to be worried about.

“Y-you say t-that every-ytime you le-leave the room and co-ome back, A-Astarion”, you replied through shattering teeth which sadly took the edge off of your snide remark.

“I know, love. Because every time I hope you might would have started to feel better. But you’ve been like this for almost a week and yet no improvement in sight. You have me worried sick!”, he dramatically explained.

The shivers temporarily left your body to allow you to give Astarion a death stare – the audacity of this man. “I am so terribly sorry that I dare put you through th-this. Now please h-hand me the t-tea!”, you sarcastically replied and worked your hands out of the mountain of blankets to stretch them out towards the nightstand where the vampire had placed the mug.

Astarion handed you the mug. “Careful, it’s scorching ho…”, he said while you grabbed it from him and placed your palms around the hot ceramic and sighed at the bliss of warmth.

Astarion stared at you as if you had turned into an ox.

You took in the smell of the fresh brew and sighed again – pine needles, mint, chamomile, and a hint of lavender. You took a sip slowly because it was actually really hot and closed your eyes for a second. The hot drink temporarily made you feel better.

“You really got the right mixture down now, Astarion, thank you!”, you said as you opened your eyes again and smiled broadly at the vampire who had swung his legs onto the bed and crossed them by the ankles – bare feet sticking out of the pant legs – to sit beside you. At your compliment his face lit up, his eyes filling with sincere joy.

“Well, I’m happy to hear I am proficient at taking care of you, my sweet sick darling”, he said and raised one of his eyebrows in arrogant manner. “Well, let’s not forget the time when you didn’t strain the pine needles or when you tried to make mushroom soup and created bile”, you replied to his cocky demeanour and then took another sip of tea. The shivers were really calming down now.

Astarion’s mouth became a straight line. “Well, I am sorry, but it’s been over two hundred years since I last had to know my way around a kitchen – you’d be surprised how easily forgotten mundane things are”, he pouted but stretched out his arm to rub circles on your back – or what he thought must be your back under the thick padding of fabric.

You were fairly certain, Astarion had never really known his way around a kitchen, but you really didn’t want to rub it in since he was actually trying so hard to take care of you. And he had really been worried sick about you since it seemed he had also forgotten how much impact even a rather harmless sickness could have on a mortal body.

“Feeling better now?”, Astarion asked while he kept rubbing your back. This time there wasn’t a hint of sarcasm or arrogance in his tone, just a sincere, caring question.

“I am. Thank you, my heart”, you answered and turned a bit to him to give him another smile. “I guess after everything that happened my body was just in dire need of a break – and now forced me to take it. I guess in a few days I’ll be merrily dallying around again”, you spoke as you looked at Astarion but then spied past him to where you had seen something of interest in the bowl he had brought.

“I’m happy to hear that, my sweet, because I don’t know…”, the vampire replied with a smile then furrowed his brows as he saw your focus shift past him and you leaned to look behind him. He made to lean with you. “My beautiful eyes are up here, my love”, he murmured playfully.

But you craned your neck now to see what it was he had brought you – broad shoulders and handsome face be damned. “Gods, are those strawberries?” “Indeed, sweetheart.”

Your mouth opened and you stared at Astarion in anticipation: “Where did you get them? Those are not in season for a few more months! I love strawberries, they’re my favourite fruit, no, food!” Your eyes gleamed at the vampire who replied with a smug grin: “I know, darling. I am actually a good listener in case you hadn’t noticed yet.”

You stretched to give him a kiss which almost resulted in you falling over and spilling all of the remaining tea. Your heart filled with an incredible amount of joy – not only because there were strawberries to be had, but because you felt so seen by your soulmate. You smiled at Astarion. “Indeed, you are”, you happily cheered him. He smiled back just as warmly.

“I got them from a place where they magically empower the crops. It did almost cost me an arm and the rest of my dignity though, but here we are”, he explained jokingly to which you raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

“Feed me!”, you then demanded excitedly when he didn’t spill any more details. To which the vampire grinned even more broadly, showing his sharp fangs in the process. “Oh love, I am more than happy to indulge you in this pleasant reversal of roles”, he crooned and turned around to grab the bowl of fruit while you kept sipping on your herbal tea.

He grabbed one of the deep red fruits and slowly lifted it to your already excitedly opened mouth. You were almost salivating, as Astarion offered you the berry, holding it elegantly in his long, slender fingers. The fruit almost touched your lips, but then, at the last possible moment: the vampire flicked it in his own mouth with his thumb.

Your mouth stayed open but now in a desperate expression while Astarion chewed. His facial expression became confused then pleasantly surprised, not even looking at you for a moment. “Oh dear, these are actually rather good. I had almost also forgotten how good these taste. I haven’t eaten a strawberry in forever.” He gave a quick high-pitched laugh while still looking a bit confused. This certainly had awoken a memory he had probably thought lost forever. But still – weren’t these for you?

“Excuse me, my tragic darling vampire, I really love you rediscovering your love for these mortal pleasures known as fruit, but weren’t these meant to soothe my sufferings?”, you said and pouted at Astarion. He readily replied by finally offering you one – for real this time, while he smirked at you and stole another one for himself.

As you bit down the taste just about exploded in your mouth. They were perfectly delicious and sweet. You sighed blissfully and let your head fall back with closed eyes. You were definitely feeling better by the minute.

“So good! Thank you so much for getting them – I feel so much better already!”, you said to Astarion and shimmied over to him to first lean past him and put the mug on the nightstand and then hugging him – arms extending from your ball of blankets.

Astarion pressed a kiss to the crown of your head. “You’re welcome, my love. Now – share the rest?” “Only if you promise to get more tomorrow!”

The pale elf threw his head back and laughed. “If that is what it takes to nurse you back to health, I am more than happy to oblige, sweetheart”, he promised with a chuckle before he gave you another of the sweet berries and then popped another strawberry in his own mouth.

Author's note: Okay cool, where do I get strawberries now? Hope you enjoyed!

[soapymansuds]

Eternity and Counting

(Pt2. Also pretty short but I'm kinda just handling introductory stuff, so bear with me. Uploads will be made every Tuesday for as long as I have stuff to upload. Thank you for your support, hope you enjoy!!)

Pt1

Obey me! X Angel!MC (They/Them Pronouns)

TW: Suicide, depression, self-deprecation, death, big feelings, lots of sad.

MC just can't handle anything anymore and takes their own life. Imagine their dismay to find even death isn't the end for them.

When did it get so bright? I'd swear I was staring into the face of the sun if it weren't for the gentle breeze that sways my hair. I open my eyes just barely, blinking away the glare of my surroundings. I'm acutely aware of several voices around me, one of which is more familiar than I'd like. How could it not have worked? It's impossible. I was certain that those herbs would take me out. And so was everybody else, because even if I hadn't done my research, Barbatos kept them locked in a special cabinet for ingredients never to be used while I was in the castle. I had to have died.

As the world around me slowly blinks into view, I'm greeted by a terrifying sight. Simeon sits crouched before me, worry and fear marring his perfect skin. His voice is muffled and foggy as he speaks,  but slowly I recognize his question.

"What have you done?"

It's soft. Gentle. Like when my mother used to ask after I had made a small, albeit amusing, mess. I consider for a moment how to answer him. I want to ask him what he thinks I've done, but the sarcasm feels like it'd be more painful now than it usually would. So instead I take my moment of consideration to look around. I've been to the celestial realm before, but this feels different. Suddenly, I find my answer. A pair of answers really, fluttering against my back.

"I failed... Again..." I whisper, staring at my hands, and soon the tears falling onto them. "Fuck me, you'd think killing yourself would be harder to mess up." Something maniacal in me laughs. It's hard to say if I'm laughing at my joke or myself. Maybe it's both.

When I look up, Simeon's face has shot from worry to deep, deep concern. He's quick to pull out his phone, but I'm quicker to bat it out of his hand.

"You can't. You can't tell them." I mumble, not breaking eye contact. "It's bad enough you have to know, Luke will find out I'm sure. But they can't..."

"MC, they deserve to know! Do you know how worried they are right now? You've been dead a whole month!" He's nearly yelling, but his expression doesn't change much. It's hard to tell if he's angry or confused. Maybe he's both.

"They deserve to move on Simeon. You all do, I'm just sorry I've managed to fuck up your opportunity to do it. They got their letters, they know why I did it. So do you. It would be unfair of me to put them through all of that, give them an opportunity to live without me dragging them down, just to turn around a month later and force myself back into their lives because I didn't have to forethought to consider I could have been reborn an Angel!" It's not that I hadn't considered it. I had just assumed suicide knocked you off the divine rebirth roster. Guess I should have checked.

Simeon looks prepared to say something back but is quickly cut off by another voice.

"So this is the great MC I've heard so much about." He chuckles, stepping out from behind Simeon. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, though I do wish it was under better circumstances." his head tilts as if he's considering the whole ordeal. "I'm certain Lucifer would be ecstatic to hear the news, but if you insist on secrecy, that can be arranged."

"Michael I-" Simeon begins but stops quickly, fixing his tone and face to seem more proffesional. "Are you certain? Their absence has caused such a stir in the Devildom." He looks back at me like he's expecting that to change my mind more than Michael's.

"The Devildom can handle its own turmoil. We owe our loyalties to the angels of the Celestial realm. And if our new angel here wishes to hide their presence from Lord Diavolo himself, then I'll do what I can. For now, at the very least. And if you ever change your mind, I can help you then as well." He nods, holding a hand out to help me to my feet. I take it cautiously, finding a new balance in my stance with the additional weight on my back. I never expected these to be so heavy. And getting a better look at them now, they're huge. Rivaling Lucifer's, in span at least.

"If you'd like, I have a private garden. You may spend your days there for as long as you want." He grins, something strangely knowing in his eyes.

(Thank you for visiting my silly little stories. Like I said, uploads should be pretty consistent, but if you'd like a friendly reminder, comment to be added to the tag list!)

-Your friend, The Author

[spacebaby1]

Okay hear me out. OK so yn and Ace been best friends in their childhood (sweethearts). But when yn set out to see she got into a fight and loses her memories. So later on yn joins whitebeard crew and she doesn't recognize Ace at all. Just imaging his sad face 😞. So he tries to get yn to remember him.

I could write a whole series of this! Enjoy!

The last thing you remembered was falling in the deep ocean as everything went black.

Blinking awake, you tried to figure out where were you, it was a ship indeed, but who's ship?

The door opened, letting the sunlight in, which made you groan in annoyance as you tried to shut your eyes. "Ah, you are awake. How are you feeling?" A man in glasses asked, placing down water glass. "Where i'm I?" He helped you sit. "On the whitebeard ship, do you remember what happened to you?"

With a groan, you held your head, trying to remember, "I-I don't remember anything, who I'm I?" You asked, looking at him. He was taken aback by your question, "You don't remember anything?"

You shook your head, not able to remember anything at all, not even your name. A meeting was held and you sat in front of "pops" as he spoke about how you were welcome to stay if you'd want to because he saw great potential in you and you're also welcome to leave if you feel uncomfortable being around pirates but not a minute you felt uncomfortable. "If it's not a trouble, then I'd wanna stay until I find out who I'm I?" You asked. And he smiled, "Absolutely."

Everyone treated you like you were their little sister since you were the only girl and the youngest of them all. You had figured out that you were great with drawing maps and sometimes would have vivid dreams about faceless boy saying something or calling you certain name but it always went unheard and you'd always wake up in the middle of the night. They all named you, "Aya!" Because everytime you'd get annoyed or messed something up, you'd say, "Ayy!" In an annoyed tone. It was fine since you didn't even remember your own name; there were nights you'd stay awake thinking about what your name was? Do you have a family? Is there somewhere someone out there looking for you?.

It was just another day for you on the ship when Marco had asked you if you'd like to join the others on the deck since they were playing ""fight"" with the new member. You groaned, then shook your head, "I'm reading this book." It wasn't strange for pops to suddenly find another crewmate out of nowhere. You could hear them cheering outside, but it wasn't anything new.

After a few hours, you decided to go back to completing the sketch of the ship, putting your goggles on, and you picked your parchment papers and pens. You saw them on lower deck playing fight with the rest of the crew gathered around in a circle. Not minding them, you started to work on your drawing. When you were halfway done, you saw the crew disturbed as they took a break, so you went on drawing the side of the ship. "Another sketch?" Marco ruffled your hair as he walked past you, making you nod, not taking your eyes off your drawing. You heard a new voice talking and turned to find a dark haird guy talking with one of your crewmates. All you saw was his back, so yoy shrugged and turned back to continue drawing.

The guys behind you didn't see you, so they accidentally bumped into you, causing your things to drop from your hand. "Oh, no. I'm so sorry I didn't see you there - " Ace immediately got down to gather your papers, and his head dropped when he looked up as you were still gathering the pen of the deck. You smiled, "it's okay. I shouldn't have just sta -" You didn't get to finish talking when he dropped the papers and wrapped his arms around you, taking you by surprise. Everyone on the deck was looking at Ace and you now. You blinked in surprise and immediately pushed him away with a yelp. "What are you doing?" You screamed at him, Ace reached for you, but you were quick to get up as Marco reached you two before grabbing Ace, stopping him from approaching you, "what are you doing, man?" Marco asked before turning to you, "Aya, are you okay?" Nodding, you gathered you things and turned to leave when Ace called out, "Aya? No! Y/n! Wait!" You stopped at the name. It sounded exactly like the name you heard in your dreams, but you just stood there clutching your things closer as you looked at Ace with a confused look.

"Stop it man, you are scaring the gi-"

"No! That's my girl, that's my Y/n! Y/n, it's me!" Everyone was looking at you now, Marco turned to look at you as you shrugged, not knowing what to say. "Y/n?" You asked, and Ace nodded. Marco turned to talk to Ace, "Don't approach the girl like that. Stay here." Ace didn't listen, but he only walked a few feet in front of you, his eyes begging you to recognise him as he reached his hands for you, but you only stepped back, and he immediately stopped. "Y/n, please, it's me. Don't you remember me?" You shook your head, making Ace's lips quivered. "I'm sorry." Was all you said before rushing away to your room and shutting the door.

You didn't leave the room and fell asleep before being awakened by the nightmares in the middle of the night. After calming down, you went outside for fresh air but stopped on top of the stairs when you saw Ace standing alone looking at the night waves. You were about to get back to your room, but something in you told you to talk to him. If he was lying about knowing you, then why would he be so desperate for you to recognise him. Slowly approaching him, you stood a few steps away, hugging yourself. You cleared your throat, and he turned immediately, gasping, holding his steps from reaching you, but the look in his eyes was yarning for you to approach him. "I uh, I don't really know what to say actually," you spoke honestly, "can we sit down? Want me to make you tea? Coffee? I drink tea when I can't sleep. I wanna talk." He just nodded, following you to the kitchen. He stood by the fridge watching you make the tea, "Don't stare like that." He chuckled, feeling embarrassed, "I missed you, I-I I'll sit down there." He took one of the seats on the table, and you placed the tea cup in front of him before grabbing one for yourself. You reached for the sugar, but he pulled the small jar away, and you looked at him, "suger makes you cough. You don't - "

"How did you know?" You blinked at him. You didn't tell anyone that, but it was true. However, you'd still sometimes eat it. Ace didn't know what to do because he was on the verge of tears, "I know, of course I know. I know a lot about you. We grew up together. I lo -" He stopped talking and looked at his feet, not trying to overwhelm you. But you needed to know, taking the seat beside him you pulled it closer till your knees were almost touching, "I don't remember what happened, I woke up on this ship one day with injuries and barley remember who I'm I. Marco said it's probably because I hit my head or something that caused my memory loss. Please don't lie to me, if you know me please tell me who I'm I?"

He smiled and nodded frantically, "I-I we lived in the same village, foosha village. It's a very small village and there wasn't much but me, you, Sabo and Luffy were always running around to find things to do."

"Sabo? Luffy?" You asked. "Yes! Luffy, uh, how do I describe him he was a handful and really loved being around you. He was a little mouse," he laughed, making you smile. "And Sabo?" You asked as you saw his smile drop slowly, "he was a good friend, my brother. Very smart, ambitious, and always taking your side. He's not with us anymore. You cried for days when he passed." You gasped, "I'm so sorry, I wish I could remember him. Tell me more, please." Ace smiled a little, "well, I can lie and say that you liked me the most as kids, but I was always head over heels for you." Your cheeks burned as you chuckled nervously so did he as he continued, "I well- what I mean is that we've liked each other a lot like we uh what I want to say is th-"

"That you're my boyfriend?" You asked even though you were dying of embarrassment, but he nodded, ear and cheeks bright pink. "Oh," was all you said before both of you just sat in awkward silence, not knowing what to say. Your heart was beating so fast and loud that you were sure Ace could hear it. "If you still think I'm lying about it all then I know something else, if I'm lying then I won't know that you have a birthmark in the shape of heart on your right side." You shook your head forwarding your right arm, "I don't have any birthmark, see?" He blinked before pointing at your stomach. You both blinked at each other, and once again, you could feel your face burning before you asked, "o-on my stoma-HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? I DO -" You sat down, looking at your hands resting on your lap. "I know because I just know. I'm your boyfriend." He whispered the last part."It could be a lucky guess, " you whispered.

He shook his head, "You have two moles together on your inner t-"

"ACE!" You said and gasped, slapping your mouth with your hands and wide eyes as he looked at you concerned, "Ace?" He blinked, waiting for you to speak. Then it hit him. All this time, he didn't tell you his name, nor did anyone else.

"Ace?" Your lips quivered.

"Y-yes, beautiful."

"ACE! OH ACE" You jumped in his arms as he held you tight, "Ace, Ace. Mine, Ace." He chuckled with tears filled eyes holding you tight. "Ace, it's you. Ace, I remember, A-Ace."

"Don't stop saying my name, please." He held your head with one hand and squeezed you closer with the other as you kept mumbling his name, afraid that you might forget everything if you stopped. Suddenly everything came back like a wave, You remembered it all.

"Ace,"

"My heart"

"Ace"

"My beautiful beautiful girl"

"Ace, I love you."

"I love you more than anything in this world."

[darksturnioloqueen]

TreeHouse - Chapter 16

"You've been spending an awful lot of time in the treehouse lately."

Summary: Sienna slips up.

"If you don't try, you will never know."

⚠️This Fic Series will NOT be for people with triggers. This Fic Series will have very descriptive moments of abuse.⚠️

Please Read At Your Own Risk.

⚠︎Trigger Warning: angst, threatening, anxiety, lying, being uncomfortable, mention of bruising and blood, cut lip, mention of being punched, pushing self boundaries, sad shit. ⚠︎

Sienna's POV:

After Chris ran off, I knew I had pushed him too far. I felt horrible. I also wasn't sure how I felt about myself. I loved Chris; that was always a given, but did I love him? When I kissed him, all I could think of was the boy who abandoned me, and I had grown to despise him for it. But that boy wasn't Chris. Chris wanted to kiss me back. Chris wanted me to. I pushed the double door to the library out of my way. His blue eyes locked on mine, and his smile grew.

"Hey."

"Hey, can I talk to you?" I was playing a dangerous game, but I needed more answers than Chris was willing to give me. I also didn't want to keep pushing him too far.

"Yeah, of course." Matt pulled out the chair for me to sit in. I set my bag on the table and swallowed hard. I could already feel the regret for this idea settling in the pit of my stomach.

"It's hard to -" I felt myself choking.

"It's okay, Si. You can talk to me about anything." There was a moment in his voice when I believed him. I felt like I could. But he didn't know that I knew. He wasn't aware of what I was about to say or all of the things I wanted to say.

"Are you related to Chris?" I avoided looking at him as best as I could, but eventually failed. He was stiff. I felt like I needed to explain why I was asking. "I got paired with him for a school project and I -"

"Yes, he is Nick and I's long-lost brother. We don't talk about it." He lied, which I figured he would. Why wouldn't he?

"Long lost?" I played into his cover story.

"Yeah. He disappeared when he was young, and we were recently reunited. It's weird for us, so we don't discuss it. We are still trying to understand it all." His voice was so genuine, I almost wanted to question Chris now.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to -" I wanted to end this conversation as quickly as I started it.

"It's fine. Just don't tell anyone." His hand gripped the back of the wooden chair, trapping me. His piercing eyes were glaring at me. This was a threat.

"No, I would never," I whispered. The bell rang, saving me from this uncomfortable situation I put myself in.

"Want me to walk you to class?" He asked, standing up, grabbing his things. I watched him closely.

"Uh, yeah." I raised my voice, trying to sound normal. I couldn't let him know he got inside my head. We walked the halls, and everyone stared at us. Being with Thee Matthew Sturniolo was a big deal. He was the one everyone wanted, but only one person was allowed to have him, me. I mentally cursed Julia for getting me into this situation. It was her note that sparked his interest in me. He dropped me off and kissed me on the cheek. I brushed it off with a forced giggle, only because I didn't want him to kiss me ever again. The way Chris tried to kiss me was better; it meant more to me.

School finished up, and I didn't see Chris once. It always worried me. It sent my mind into a dizzy spiral of what-ifs, and none of the what-ifs were good. I got on the bus and sat next to AK.

"What's new?"

"Matt and I are good." I lied immediately. We were far from good. For all of five seconds, I might have believed him about Chris being a long-lost brother, but then he made a very clear threat againstme. I couldn't bear the thought of pursuing him, knowing what he does to Chris.

"Ohhh." He gave me a slight shove, and I flinched. "I hope it works out. Cause lord knows I'd do anything to get -"

"Nick." We both said at the same time with differing tones.

"You can't tell me that man doesn't just ravish you in bed." AK gushed. He never missed a chance to talk about the Sturniolo twins. Triplets?

"I'll text you," I said, getting off the bus and walking away from him quickly. I made it home, shut the door behind me, and sighed.

"Rough day at school?" I opened my eyes to see both my parents staring at me with expressions that were odd.

"Yeah." I sighed again as I walked into the kitchen. My mom started getting me a snack from the fridge.

"We are going to a work meeting tonight. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes, Dad." I smiled, knowing it meant I didn't have to worry about them seeing Chris. I knew he wasn't ready for it, and I wasn't really sure how to explain it to him yet. "I think I'm going to do some homework in the treehouse." I said in a nonchalant manner, grabbing the plate with my snack.

"Honey, are you okay?"

"You've been spending an awful lot of time in the treehouse lately."

"Yeah, I just got reminded how special it was." I immediately thought of Chris.

"Okay." My mom had a skeptical look.

"Okay." I accidentally gave her a little attitude. I just needed to get all my thoughts straight, and it was hard doing that, feeling like everyone was watching me and judging my every move. I left and went into my room to change into something comfortable for the treehouse. I grabbed a book and my phone to take with me for something to do. Once I crawled up the wooden ladder, I sat in my designated spot. I sighed a different kind of sigh—one of relief. Something about being back in the treehouse evoked a sense of nostalgia. I felt like myself again. I was always myself with my friends, but the piece of me I left here was slowly reattaching back to me, and I couldn't explain how it truly felt. I started playing some tranquil music on my phone and reading. After a while, my parents interrupted my reading to let me know they were leaving. I hollered back and then looked at the time. It was getting late. I felt that same sense of worry from whenever I didn't catch a glimpse of him at school. I kept reading to distract myself, waiting. After clearing several chapters in my book, I lay down on the matted rug. I felt my eyes starting to get droopy, waiting.

"Nessie?" I fluttered my eyes open.

"Chris?" I whispered.

"You fell asleep. Why are you out here?" I sat up and looked around. I settled my gaze on Chris's face. His lip was split with fresh blood dripping. His eyes were dark. His cheeks were pink.

"Chris," I said, focusing on his face more.

"I'm sorry it took so long. I -"

"What happened?" I asked, sitting up and really looking at him. I wanted to know, but I didn't. It was a weird feeling. I wanted to know everything, but at the same time, my heart couldn't take the truth.

"Why are you still out here?" He asked again, avoiding my question. I huffed, annoyed with the circles.

"I was waiting for you," I answered first. "Now, tell me what happened to you?" He looked down, ashamed. "Chris?" I whispered. His head slowly lifted again.

"Matt was angry about something." My breathing stopped. Could it be me talking to him today? Talking about Chris?

"Is it bad?" I wasn't sure what else to say. I felt the ache in my hands from wanting to reach out and grab his face and hold him, but I knew better.

"No, just some punches. It didn't last long." Chris looked around the treehouse, and I saw his shoulders visibly relax.

"Calming isn't it?" I chuckled, knowing he was feeling the same relief I felt from being back in here.

"Safe." He was short, but I knew what he meant. The treehouse was a safe space for him. After a long silence, I spoke up.

"I won't kiss you unless you ask." I just wanted to let him know I respected him. I knew he was unsure of his boundaries, and I didn't want to be the one to push him. "We can go at your pace," I reassured him. I personally had no experience with a situation as sensitive as this. I needed to be careful. He nodded in understanding.

"Can we... try again?" He finally let his eyes meet mine.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I wanted to kiss him more than anything. My stomach was twisting thinking about it.

"Just don't touch me." His voice was very serious. I moved over to him and sat down carefully in front of him. He lifted himself to his knees and looked at me. Since I was closer, I could see more bruising and his split lip more clearly. He leaned in first, so I knew he felt comfortable. His slow movement was building the flutter in my gut.

"Are you sure?" I had to ask again. I couldn't imagine him feeling uncomfortable because of me. He moved his lips closer to mine and pressed them lightly. I saw him close his eyes, feeling every push his lips started pining for. I closed my eyes and felt my breath being stolen. This was how it was supposed to be. This time, Chris took his hand and cupped my jawline firmly. "Okay," I whispered. I wasn't sure if I was asking him if he was or if I was telling him I was. Chris pulled me up to his level. I noticed a slight metallic taste invading my mouth. He was really into this. I felt him brush my hair out of the way. He was pushing his boundaries for me. I lifted my hands and grabbed his waist. He immediately pulled back and shoved me away. "Fuck. I'm sorry." I stuttered. "Did I hurt you?" I asked, worried I just ruined this moment, too.

"No. No. I'm fine." Chris mumbled. "It's late. I should go." He started leaving the treehouse. I was starting to learn one thing: I couldn't keep him here. I couldn't make him stay.

Royal Subjects:

@emely9274 @alexisa78 @iloveduckssm

[castlekriegler]

Hello everybody! :D

Master Eckhardt, I have a confession! xD For the past two weeks I've been trying to get used to the remastered Kurtis. His new looks has been bothering me. Yes, me, one of the most obsessed people with Lartis and AOD. :( :( :( It makes me feel sad and confused. I was not sure if to write anything because I didn't want to be spoiling the ongoing party! Plus I didn't want to criticize in public too much because that would feel like back-stabbing all the people involved…

Luckily yesterday I realized that with some minor adjustments and rather small changes made here and there, he could be close to perfection and way closer to the original. ;D

Just to make myself clear: I have NEVER meant to bother or attack the creators and/or fans of the remastered version of Kurtis. I'm happy that many people love the new Kurtis' face. And I'm glad, grateful, excited and enthusiastic that TRAOD has got another chance to shine. (Even though we all know that there have been some quality and other issues mostly caused by the lack of time - which is unforgivable! by the people who caused it - AOD has always deserved more and seems to be cursed by the time restrains…)

Anyway I wasn't sure what exactly was bothering me about the new face in Kurtis' case, but something was definitely off to me. I couldn't put my finger on where the problem was, but yesterday I figured it out. At least I think. ;) I made these rough edits last week and et voilà - Welcome back, Kurtis Trent! :D (Sorry for the bad quality. I had only a very simple rectangular selection tool at hand, but you get the picture - I'm planning to make 'clean' versions as well when I have more time.)

(The pictures on the right are the edited ones.)

(The original picture posted by @angel-in-shadow: https://angel-in-shadow.tumblr.com/post/776308000718716928/soooooo-i-might-have-some-remastered-kuris-mesh)

The jaw and chin

The bony face shape from some angles (not visible here) makes him look much younger and even a little bit starving. xD But more importantly, PLS, get rid of the protruding (hag's xD) chin. It doesn't suit him IMHO. It changes a face a lot; it's completely different type of chin. I have a problem with the fact that the original face didn't have even a tiny hint of that face trait. Also his upper lip is does not stick out anymore and the lips are not so uneven now.

(The original picture posted by @minis-gaming: https://minis-gaming.tumblr.com/post/776146302680596480/the-demon-hunter)

The hair and his lips

I'd personally prefer his hair a little bit darker (not visible in the dark pictures in general) and the front hair shorter. I would also add more hair to the front - like overgrown bangs of a sort - more of it getting into his eyes (and covering his forehead more). I also flattened his hair on the top of his head. It looked almost like backcombed xD. Also the strand of hair thrown into the back the remastered Kurtis has - I have no idea how it could stay in place like that. xD The fringe-like haircut seems to be more practical and 'free' and without a need of adjusting it every minute. xD

The shape of his upper lip looks really weird in some angles. I made the upper lip narrower in the second pic. That was it. But to me the difference is HUGE. (The model seems to be okay though, so I guess it's more like a matter of textures or something… Sorry, I'm not very familiar with the 3D terminology.)

(Again the right picture is the edited one - I only made the original on the left lighter.)

I can recognize him now. I wonder if anyone agrees with me?

Of course, the original graphics (lacking in some ways for today standards) was leaving more space for imagination, so I admit we all could see the characters a little bit differently. ;)

Do I like the new remastered face? Yes - with some reservations. All in all, he has always been more than just a pretty face. ;) His appearance is important to me of course, but I especially LOVE his character. On the other hand, like seriously, look at the difference the edited pics make… *drolls* :D AWWW!!!!!! *crazyfangirling* I NEED THESE CHANGES! :P :D :D :D

Many people won't probably agree with me on several points in this post (PLEASE LET ME STILL JOIN THE PARTY!), but I'm just sharing some of my thoughts here. And wondering about your opinions. ;) And I'm also writing this to let the fans of the original model of Kurtis know that they are not alone. ;) :P Either way, the original is still here, so we all can be happy. A WIN-WIN situation, isn't it? ;D

PHEW! I have SO needed to get these thoughts out! You have no idea… I guess I'm too much into the issue; well, it's been a while since my obsession with AOD started, so please have patience and bear with me. xD We have spent a really long time with the original game… ;)

[prophecyprompts]

#FROOT. assortment of lyrics (changed to be more dialogue-like) from marina's album froot. please note that some songs were easier to get lines from than others, so i apologize in advance! part one. ♡

HAPPY.

i sang a hymn to bring me peace.

it made me feel like i belonged.

it felt so sweet.

all the sadness inside me melted away like i was free.

i found what i'd been looking for in myself.

never thought that i could be happy.

maybe i need a little company.

i've been desperately alone.

i believe in divinity.

i believe in possibility.

finally, i have a found a way to be happy.

FROOT.

i've seen seasons come & go.

i ain't in a patient phase.

good things come to those who wait.

good luck to you.

don't you give me a reason that it's not the right season.

come on, fill your cup up!

living la dolce vita.

i'm your bloody rose.

life couldn't get much sweeter.

babe, i love you a lot.

i'll give you all i got.

i've been saving all my summers for you.

the cycle of life is complete.

i'm your carnal flower.

pick my petals off & make my heart explode.

i'm your deadly nightshade.

i'm your cherry tree.

you're my one true love.

i'm your destiny.

autumn, i'll be gone.

i'm in love.

I'M A RUIN.

i know that i can't have it all.

i could treat you better but i'm not that smart.

without you, i'm afraid i'll fall.

i'm a ruin.

you still mean everything to me.

i'll ruin you.

i want to be free.

i played with your heart.

i've been doing things i shouldn't do.

it's difficult to move on.

nothing was right but nothing's wrong.

you still can't look me in the eye.

i'm still young & i wanna love again.

it's difficult to say goodbye & easier to live a lover's lie.

you've been bitten once & now you're twice as shy.

it doesn't feel right & it doesn't feel fair.

i don't wanna say goodbye.

but i don't wanna lie.

don't wanna keep a secret.

BLUE.

we've broken up.

give me everything — all your heart can bring.

what you waiting for?

i said goodbye when i shouldn't have said it.

i can't forget it.

give me love.

give me good self-esteem.

i don't wanna feel blue anymore.

give me one more night.

no, i don't love you.

i just wanna be held when i'm scared.

no, i don't care.

'cause i'm selfish, i know it's true.

i'm sick of looking after you.

i'm bored of everything we do.

i keep coming back to you.

i just wanna know who i'm looking for.

FORGET.

sometimes i think i'm not that strong.

there's a force that carries me on.

i can't forgive & i can't forget.

i'm sick of my small heart made of steel.

i'm sick of the wounds that never heal.

it's time to forget.

i have lived my life in debt.

i've been living in the red.

no time to regret.

ever since i can remember, life was like a tipping scale; like an abacus i played with, counting every win & fail.

i've spent my days in deep regret.

i wanna forgive & forget.

you know what i'm talking about.

got nothing to lose & nothing to prove.

i've been dancing with the devil — i love that he pretends to care.

it's time to be letting go.

i'm bowing out.

i was born to walk alone.

i'm gonna leave the past behind.

forget about it.

i've had enough.

i've put my money where my mouth is for the first time in my life.

i've made mistakes.

i believe that everything was worth the fight.

no pressing stop, erase, rewind.

the road is long but only 'cause it makes you strong.

sometimes you have to learn to forget about it.

GOLD.

you've got it in the palm of your hands.

what i love can't be bought or sold.

they don't understand who you are.

doesn't matter long as i am your star.

i know that i need the gold.

don't think i want what i used to want.

don't think i need what i used to need.

i've been waiting for the penny to drop.

i've been working to get back what i lost.

i can hear my freedom calling me.

i don't care that everybody knows.

i am free.

i don't even want your gold.

there's no moral to this story.

whatever happens, i'll be okay.