#I'M SO SAD that KS is over

[timelessphoenix]

God, I just love people so so much. It takes very little time for me to care about a person in any capacity. Even if you're annoying to me at first, if we have ANY positive interaction or we work on a project together and it's a positive experience, I automatically care about you.

I just love people.

[universalitgirlsblog2]

🧁🍥SONGS FOR SELF-CONCEPT/SELF-LOVE🍥🧁

🧁ME TOO BY MEGHAN TRAINOR

" If I was you,I'd wanna be me too"

🍥7 RINGS BY ARIANA GRANDE

" I see it , I like , I want it , I got it "

🧁I AM THE BEST BY 2NE1

" I am the best "

" Who? You are better than me ? No No No na na na"

" I am hot hot hot hot like fire "

🍥FANCY BY IGGY AZALEA AND CHARLI XCX

" I am so fancy "

🧁ESPRESSO BY SABRINA CARPENTER

" I can't relate to desperation "

" My " give a f**ks" are on a vacation"

" Walked in and dream came trued it for you"

🍥IT GIRL BY ALIYAH INTERLUDE

" I-T G-I-R-L , You know I am that girl "

" While y'all busy hating, I am flying across the country "

🧁YES AND BY ARIANA GRANDE

" My tongue is sacred, I speak upon what I like "

" Yes and ? "

🍥I AM BY BABY TATE FT FLO MILLI

"I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am rich, I am that ,I am gonna go get that bag and I am not gonna take your s-"

" I am protected, well respected, I'm a queen, I'm a dream I do what I wanna do and I'm who I wanna be 'Cause I am me"

🧁HEY , MICKY BY BABY TATE

" Oh, Mickey, you're so fine! So fine, you blow my mind,Oh, Mickey, you're so fine! So fine"

🍥ON A ROLL BY MILEY CYRUS/ ASHLEY O

" Hey, yeah, whoa-ho, I'm on a roll , Ridin' so high, achieving my goals"

🧁QUEENCARD BY G-IDLE

" Queencard, I am hot , my boob and booty is hot"

" I am a star,star , star "

"Look so cool, look so sexy like Kim Kardashian Look so cute, look so pretty like Ariana"

🍥AFTER THE STORM BY KALI UCHIS

"Whatever goes around eventually comes back to you So you gotta be careful, baby"

" But everybody's gotta go on , Don't they? (Yes, we do, baby), So if you need a hero (if you need a hero) , Just look in the mirror (just look in the mirror) No one's gonna save you now,So you better save yourself"

" But you just can't give up now, 'Cause you gotta save yourself"

🧁FEARLESS BY LE SSERAFIM

"I'm fearless a new bitch, new crazy climbing up, next one"

" If my scars are a part of me, I got no fear, no fear"

🍥BORN TO BE SOMEBODY BY JUSTIN BIEBER

" I was born to be somebody, Ain't nothing that's ever gonna stop me,I'll light up the sky like lighting,I'm gonna rise above,Show 'em what I'm made of,I was born to be somebody,I was born to be, And this world will belong to me"

" Feel it , believe it , Dream it ,be it "

🧁KNOW YOUR WORTH BY KHALID

" Find someone you know will put you first ,Find someone who loves you at your worst"

" Gotta keep, gotta keep, gotta keep your head up"

🍥WATCH ME SHINE BY JOANNA PACITTI FROM LEGALLY BLONDE

"I will prove I can conquer anything,So from my head to toe I'm taking full control"

" Better watch out,Going for the knockout,And I won't stop,Till I'm on top now,Not gonna give up,Until I get what's mine,Better check that I'm about to upset,And I'm hot now,So you better step back,I'm taking over,So watch me shine"

🧁WHO SAYS BY SELENA GOMEZ

"Who says, who says you're not perfect?Who says you're not worth it?"

" Who says you don't pass the test?Who says you can't be the best?Who said, who said?Won't you tell me who said that?Yeah, who said?"

🍥DANGEROUS WOMAN BY ARIANA GRANDE

"Don't need permission,Made my decision to test my limits'Cause it's my business, God as my witnessStart what I finished,Don't need no hold up,Taking control of this kind of moment"

" Somethin' 'bout you,Makes me feel like a dangerous woman"

" Nothin' to prove and I'm bulletproof andKnow what I'm doing"

🧁LOOKING AT ME BY SABRINA CARPENTER

" If you think they're looking at you,They're looking at me"

🍥FASHION BY BRITNEY MANSON

"She's so gorgeous, she's successful "

" Style icon, size zero,And my boots from Valentino,I'm a self-made runway queen,And my dad is Alexander McQueen"

🧁LOVE DIVE BY IVE

" Narcissistic, my God, I love it"

🍥TOMBOY BY DESTINY ROGERS

" I'm a girl's girl, I'm a boss in a man's world"

" My mama said, "Marry a rich man" ,And I was like, "Mama, I am that rich man"

🧁LOOK AT HER BY SELENA GOMEZ

" Of course she was sad,But now she's glad she dodged a bullet"

🍥KILLSHOT BY MAGDALENA BAY

" Can you make my heart stop, Hit me with your kill shot baby"

🧁CONFIDENT BY JUSTIN BIEBER

"She's got my attention, she's confident"

🍥GO HARD BY TWICE

" We just go hard,We just go hard till we see the light"

" Even if the waves hit and sprinkle thorns, I'm the winner in the end,Even if you shake and push me, I'm unbreakable,My opponent is Woman in the mirror,I told you no matter how much the world tries to put me down,You make me feel special"

🧁PROMISCUOUS BY NELLY FURTADO

" I want you on my team,So does everybody else"

🍥UNSTOPPABLE BY SIA

" I put my armor on, show you how strong I am,I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am"

" I'm unstoppable,I'm a Porsche with no brakes,I'm invincible,Yeah, I win every single game,I'm so powerful,I don't need batteries to play,I'm so confident,Yeah, I'm unstoppable today"

🧁GOD IS A WOMAN BY ARIANA GRANDE

"When all is said and done,You'll believe God is a woman"

🍥TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW BY SELENA GOMEZ

"Everybody tells me that it's so hard to make it It's so hard to break in, there's no way to fake itEverybody tells me that it's wrong what I'm feelin'I shouldn't believe in the dreams that I'm dreamin'I hear it every dayI hear it all the timeI'm never gonna amount to muchBut they're never gonna change my mind, noTell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know"

"I'm on my way,I know I'm gonna get there someday,It doesn't help when you say, "It won't be easy"

🧁ANTIFRAGILE BY LE SSERAFIM

" Riding over the trail of thorns,You made me boost up "

" Walk like a majestic lion,Eyes glinting with so much desire "

" I'll climb higher,Top of the world I itched for ,No biggie if I were to fallI'm antifragile, antifragile "

🍥I WANT IT ALL BY ASHLEY TISDALE FROM HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

"Imagine having everything we ever dreamed"

" You've gotta believe it"

" Bigger is better And better is bigger?"

"You've got to have your star on the door,You want the world, nothing less,All the glam and the press,Only giving you the best reviews"

🧁OBSESSED BY MARIAH CAREY

"And I was like, "Why you so obsessed with me?"

🍥KINARE BY MOHAN KINNAN FROM QUEEN

" Even if all the boatmen together become strangers to us(that is, even if everyone turns against us)Then we will become oars ourselvesand cross (the sea) on our own"

"Why others, we'll ask ourselves only,about the path to followWe'll find it here somewherein the waves only"

🧁SUE ME BY SABRINA CARPENTER

"So sue me, For looking too pretty tonight"

" But I'm not gonna dull myself because you dull yourself"

" Feelin' myself can't be illegal, illegal"

🍥SUCCESSFUL BY ARIANA GRANDE

" Yeah, it feels so good to be so young,And have this fun and be successful, yeah,I'm so successful, yeah"

🧁I AM BY IVE

"That's my life is a beautiful galaxy, Be a writer, the genre is fantasy"

🍥ECOUTE CHERIE BY VENDREDI SUR MER

"Écoute chérie"

I don't know about lyrics but I like vibe of the song !

🧁GIVE IT TO ME BY NELLY FURTADO AND TIMBALAND

" I'm the Wonder Woman, let me go get my rope,I'm a supermodel and mommy, sí, mami"

🍥THE HYDRA BY LE SSERAFIM

" Do you think I am Fragile?"

"I am not afraid of storms,For I am learning how to sail my ship"

🧁CHERI CHERI LADY BY MODERN TALKING

I LOVE THE VIBE OF THIS SONG !!

🍥ECSTACY BY SUICIDAL IDOL

This song vibe reminds me of those mog edits lmao , you can listen to this song to upgrade your beauty self-concept!

🧁BARBIE GIRL BY AQUA

" Imagination, life is your creation"

🍥DANCE THE NIGHT BY DUA LIPA FROM BARBIE MOVIE

" Diamonds under my eyes"

🧁JUST LIKE MAGIC BY ARIANA GRANDE

"Manifest it (yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)"

"Just like magic ,I'm attractive ,I get everything I want 'cause I attract it"

🍥16 SHOTS BY STEFFLON DON

AGAIN THIS SONG MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A BAD BITCH !!

🧁COPINES BY AKAMURA

I LOVE THE VIBE OF THIS SONG !!!

🍥MY SATISFACTION BY IVE

"I'm just in love with myself,Crush on me "

"I'm sure of myself every moment,I'm more confident than scared,I'm unaware about fear,I hope you and I will always shine"

"Trust me more than anyone else ,I make myself shine "

"Love myself so that I don't lose myself,I don't mind such prejudice that never end,I'm satisfied with myself reflected in your eyes"

"I'm my own wannabe,I'm a masterpiece for me"

"The confidence in me shines more on me,You always shine on your own,My satisfaction that will make me shine more perfectly"

🧁BEAUTIFUL LIAR BY BEYONCE AND SHAKIRA

It is all about the vibe !!

🍥BABYDOLL BY ARI ABDUL

" Call me babydoll "

This song can help with beauty self-concept.

🧁WASABI BY LITTLE MIX

"Love to hate me, praise me, shame me,Either way you talk about me"

"I'm glad to be your inspiration.Who, baby, who's (guess who?)The topic of your conversation?,I am "

🍥GIMME MORE BY BRITNEY SPEARS

I don't even need to explain this one lol !

🧁LONG WAY TO GO BY CASSIE

GOOD VIBES !!!

🍥QUEEN BY TWICE

"I know what you are,Uh you’re a queen"

"You are the main character,You are the bright one,You’re a queen"

"No matter what anyone says,By yourself,You’re a queen"

🧁IDOL BY BTS FT NICKI MINAJ

"I know what I am (I know what I am),I know what I want (I know what I want),I never gon' change (I never gon' change)I never gon' trade"

"You know I've been a boss for my whole career"

🍥PERFECT DAY BY HOKU FROM LEGALLY BLONDE

"On this perfect day,Nothing's standing in my way,On this perfect day,Where nothing can go wrong"

🧁BOSS BITCH BY DOJA CAT

"I'm the whole damn cake and the cherry on top"

"I'm a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss"

🍥MALAMENTE BY ROSALIA

I like the vibe of the song !

🧁SHE LOVES CONTROL BY CAMILLA CABELLO

"She doesn't cry anymore, no looking back"

🍥I HAVE GOT MAGIC BY BARBIE

"Life has its dings,Oh, thanks for the wings!"

"It is my fate to be so great!"

🧁BADDIE BY IVE

"I'm a baddie, ba-ba-baddie, baddie,Pretty little risky baddie"

🍥SOLO BY JENNIE

"This time I'm only lookin' at me, myself and I,(I'm goin' solo) I'mma do it on my own now"

"Like the flowing wind,Like the stars above the clouds,I want to go far away, I want to shine brightly"

🧁BARBIE WORLD BY NICKI MINAJ AND ICE SPICE

"All of the Barbies is pretty (damn),All of the Barbies is bad,It girls (It girls) and we ain't playin' tag"

🍥KICK IT BY BLACKPINK

" Never needed nothin' else,Just a lil' love from myself"

🧁CIRCUS BY BRITNEY SPEARS

"Don't like the back seat, gotta be first"

"All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus"

🍥FOCUS BY ARIANA GRANDE

"I know what I came to do,And that ain't gonna change,So go ahead and talk your talk,Cause I won't take the bait,I'm over here doing what I like,I'm over here working day and night"

"Let's find a light inside our universe now,Where ain't nobody keep on holding us down"

🧁ANSWER:LOVE MYSELF BY BTS

"You've shown me I have reasons,I should love myself"

🍥KITSCH BY IVE

"I live the way I want, what more do you want, That's my style

"Who cares if I only do what I like, huh,This ain't your life,Useless thoughts can go away"

🧁MONOPOLY BY ARIANA GRANDE FT VICTORIA MONET

"Bad vibes, get off of me"

"Treat my goals like property,Collect them like Monopoly"

🍥MIKROKOSMOS BY BTS

"You shine brighter than anyone else One"

" Shine , dream , smile "

🧁SHAKE IT OFF BY TAYLOR SWIFT

"And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake,I shake it off, I shake it off "

🍥SUPERMODEL BY JILL SUBOLE FROM CLUELESS

"When I'm a supermodel,And my hair will shine like the sea,Everyone wants to look like me"

"Cause I'm young and I'm here and so beautiful"

🧁OUTRO: WINGS BY BTS

"I believe in myself,My back hurting is for my wings to come out,I believe in you, even if things are bleak right now,The end will be great"

"I made a decision, I will have unconditional trust"

🍥THAT'S MY GIRL BY FIFTH HARMONY

"You've been down before,You've been hurt before,You got up before,You'll be good to go, good to go,Destiny said it, you got to get up and get it"

"Get mad independent and don't you ever forget it"

🧁MANEATER BY NELLY FURTADO

" You either wanna be with me, or be me"

🍥RICH GIRL BY GWEN STEFANI

"If I was a rich girl,See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl,No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end,'Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl"

🧁STEP ON UP BY ARIANA GRANDE

"You say I'm sexy,So bad, they should arrest me"

🍥FEELING MYSELF BY NICKI MINAJ AND BEYONCE

"Feelin' myself, I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my"

🧁FABULOUS BY SHARPAY EVANS FROM HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

"The whole world according to moi"

"All things fabulous,Bigger and better and best"

🍥CONFIDENT BY DEMI LOVATO

"I'm the boss right now"

🧁I'M THAT GIRL BY BEYONCE

"It's not the diamonds, it's not the pearls,I'm that girl, it's just that I'm that girl"

"From the top of the morning, I shine"

🍥PRETTY & RICH BY SASWEETIE

"Y'all study my fashion, it shows in your pics"

"I look better in person, you'll see when we meet"

"I been in my Birkin, I stay on my grind,I stay on my hustle, I stay on your mind"

"Ooh, I'm so perfect, I make them nervous"

"Prettiest out here, that shit for certain"

🧁HARD WHITE BY NICKI MINAJ

"I'm the trophy of the game, everybody tryna win me"

"Uh, I'm who they wishin' to be"

"I'm a prodigy, R.I.P Thun-Thun '

🍥BO$$ BY FIFTH HARMONY

"C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T,That's me, I'm confident"

🧁SUPER LADY BY G-IDLE

"I am the top, super lady"

"Those irresistible eyes are savage, got all qualities of a Queen, The Baddie"

🍥NICE TO MEET YA BY MEGHAN TRAINOR FT NICKI MINAJ

"I am blessed by the Heavens"

"Now I'm givin' myself,Nothing but love"

"Please, no comparisons, 'cause you know they can't"

🧁PERFECT NIGHT BY LE SSERAFIM

"I got all I need, you know nothing else can beat,The way that I feel when I'm dancing with my girls,Perfect energy, yeah, we flawless, yeah, we free,There's no better feeling in the whole wide world"

[evilbeepthemeep]

You know after watching James Somerton's dog shit Killing Stalking vid, I don't know how people didn't notice the racism.

He literally just analysed it from a western culture lens and divorced it from the culture it did come from.

As well as refusing to do any research into why it's classed as a romance. Pretending that straight women and the publishers were behind the categorisation of it as a romance. When it was marketed as a Boy's Love manhwa in its native country of South Korea. Meaning the whole point was you are meant to ship the characters together. Plus Boy's Love is a genre for a majority female audience. Who are mostly queer in some way.

He also complained about the sex scenes. Like the sex is there for people to get off to. Because even porn can have artistic merit and be a horror story. Sex and horror go hand in hand after all.

The most egregious thing was him bringing up an interview Koogi did in 2018 while KS was still being serialised to prove it wasn't a love story. Completely ignoring a different interview she did in 2019 once the story was over to confirm Sangwoo loved Bum.

Throughout that god-forsaken video he kept mispronouncing the characters names. Like he kept calling Bum things like bomb and balm while also always calling him Yoonbum, when Yoon is actually his family name and Bum is given name. And forever saying Sangwo instead of Sangwoo unless I'm wrong about that but I doubt it.

His anti Asian racism is so fucking blatant the only reason people didn't fucking say anything because it was hating on a comic that they disliked for being queer in the wrong way.

So if you did like James Somerton and didn't notice the racism, please check your biases. Talk to those of us who are into BL as a genre and actually listen to us when we say it's not straight girls fetishising gay men. It's usually queer people who enjoy our media to be different from what the West has to offer. Most of us aren't white either.

And if you liked the Untamed, I'm sad to break it to you but that was also a BL novel written by a woman who wrote kinky gay sex.

[asexualbookbird]

It was not a great month for reading enjoyment. It did not start off strong, a book I was really looking forward to enjoying was boring as hell, and now my brain is too foggy to enjoy anything more complex I've been wanting to read. It WAS a good month in terms of volume, though. Two chonky books, and eight overall, if we care about those stats. Which I do a little bit. Numbers are arbitrary, but it does give me a sense of accomplishment when I read an 800 page book, I will not lie.

Eryie: Gryphon Insurrection by K Vale Nagle ⭐ - I'll admit, this is partially my fault. My brain skipped right over the Gryphon Insurrection part of the title, so I wasn't really expecting gryphon genocide, the children's novel. On top of that, it just wasn't well written! POV changes well over halfway through the book, no character is distinct, only thing it has going for it is it finally made me jump into Guardians of Ga'Hoole, but. uh. Well you'll see.

Dragon Pearl by Yoo Ha Lee ⭐⭐⭐- It was fine! Entertaining! I know YA and MG books don't have the luxury of going too deep into lore or anything, but it was really lacking here. She was sad about her brother being dead for like. One line. And then got over it. Kids deserve to read emotional depth! It was a cute adventure, but nothing I'd read again. It does make me more excited about Ninefox Gambit, though, because I can see the bones of good writing!

The Dragon of Jin-Sayeng by KS Villso ⭐⭐⭐⭐- Ow. What an end to a series. Everyone is awful, everyone sucks, except Khine, love of my life. It's always harder to talk about the books I like, but I did really enjoy this series. I'd like to reread it one day!

Legacy of Ash by Matthew Ward ⭐- I was sooooo looking forward to this. I even bought book two (at a secondhand shop thankfully) because I really thought I'd enjoy it. LOL. It took 800 pages to say nothing at all. It was long for the sake of being long. It was like four different plots trying to be one, and none of them really amounted to anything because the focus was so split. Really, similar problems as Priory, but at least that was gay.

The Guardians of Ga'Hoole by Kathryn Lasky (1-4) ⭐⭐⭐- Finally starting this series after a million years! It came highly recommended from many friends throughout my life, so I've naturally been putting it off. It's fine. I did really enjoy the first one, but reading more left me really picking it apart and it's a solid three stars for me. I think Animorphs is more well rounded, but it's still an entertaining series. My biggest gripe is the inconsistencies! Soren and crew decides to withhold information from the Guardians, and then the next book the Guardians have that information? And said they got it from the gang?? Not sure how th timeline works for Metal Beak to be Soren's brother when Metal Beak was supposed to be a Big Scary Enemy to all of owlkind. Thought it might be a Dread Pirate Robert's situation, but nope! Kludd has been the only Metal Beak! Kids deserve better lol I'll read what I have (eleven books) but probably nothing more than that.

I don't have reading plans or goals for February. I'm still sick, doing things is hard. I'm just trying to survive over here. If you have recommendations for easy to read silly books, I am all ears!

[ughgoaway]

the sick dad matty blurb omfg ACE i’m literally unwell at the thought of mopey messy hair matty falling asleep in ur lap and being so flustered at u seeing him like that- brb fucking crying

also speaking of which genuinely insane timing how you always post smth after i’ve had a very long shift i swear theyre really the one thing i look forward to the most after work 😭😭 uninterrupted horizontal time with ur blurbs it’s true it literally is my fav thing-

also perhaps an extension of sick dad! matty but i just can’t shake the idea of teacher reader being worried about him still and asking annie about it at school the next day and annie just randomly drops a bombshell in the way kids do and says smth like ‘oh daddys so much better today! he’s all smiley and said that you chased the bad coughing monster away for him- can you come do that every time? daddy’s never had anyone do that before’ and it just b r e a ks teacher reader completely pls anyways crying throwing up

(- bff anon also has the can’t shut up disease i fear 😭）

OMG, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BFF!!! I just need to look after this man.

like imagine he eventually wakes up and its like 9pm at that point so you're like "okay let's get you to bed" and he's all sad and pouty and says "only if you stay over with me" but he's still half asleep and doesn't quite process what he said for a good few seconds...

wide-eyed, he tries to backtrack, "wait- I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that! obviously, we haven't slept together yet, but- NO, NOT LIKE 'SLEPT TOGETHER' SLEPT TOGETHER!!! I MEANT LIKE JUST SLEEPING!!! ohmygod-"

you're like "no that sounds nice, let's go upstairs," and matty is silently freaking out bc you're gonna be in his bed. with him. sleeping. he's thought about this scenario 1000 times, and none of them included him being dealthy ill and not having nice sheets on the bed first.

(more rambles below the cut as always)

you get matty to brush his teeth and get ready for bed, even rubbing some moisturiser on him (he just sits there with a dopey grin as you apply)

he always thought you'd be on his chest or he'd be spooning you, but he ends up with his face buried between your boobs and he's out within 10 mins.

oh and the morning after... so much potential...

I must have spidey senses for when you're at work bff!!! the fact that my blurbs make you so happy you look forward to them??? brb vomiting???? that is so kind. horizontal time on tumblr is my fav too, its unmatched.

OH, LITTLE ANNIE TALKING ABOUT HIM PLEASEEEEEE-

I can see her spending the night at hanns bc matty doesn't want her to get ill and doesn't trust George or Ross to keep her overnight.

"Do you even know what 5 year olds eat??"

"bro, why dont you trust us???"

"Yeah... like mushed carrots and shit right. "

you put the kids to work colouring something but secretly call Annie over yo your desk, "hi Annie! I just wanted to ask how your daddy is today, I know he's been a bit poorly"

"...please take her Adam"

she immediately lights up and starts chattering away, "Oh, daddy said he's feeling much better today. he even made me my toast this morning, and he was all smiley the whole time!!! he said you made him all better and played nurse!! can you do that every time he's poorly? he's much happier when you are his nurse than when he goes to the doctors"

obviously, internally you're like "ohmygod he really likes me, and I made him feel better. oh, he couldn't stop smiling, and annie noticed because he was so happy and -"

but externally, you play it cool like, "Oh, that's great, sweetheart! I'm sure next time he's poorly, you can help him feel better too"

Annie is like, "Oh!! I hope he's poorly again soon, I wanna play doctors with you!!!"

you try not to laugh at her wishing her dad ill and just send her back to her desk, but the grin doesn't leave your face all day. thinking about the fact you made matty giddy makes you just as giddy as him.

the next day a bouquet of flowers show up at your door with a note,

"dear nurse y/n,

thank you for coming to look after me even after I cancelled our date. whilst I am slightly mortified you saw me looking like that, I'm more grateful for your help. you made being sick worth it. Spending any time with you is always worth it.

love, matty x

ps, I hope the next time you stay in my bed, I'm substantially less sick, and we're both wearing substantially less clothes ;)"

[thatstormygeek]

With the whole "US athletes are taking full advantage of Olympic village healthcare" thing going around, folks are rightly horrified about the abysmal state of healthcare in this country.

What's not obvious in that wider context is that, even within our awful system, the quality of care you receive varies massively - not just because of your financial situation, which is bad enough, but also based on your location.

My stepdad's sister died this morning. She was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer less than three weeks ago. She was still working in May.

She lived in Kansas.

I've written before about the sad state of the Kansas healthcare system. Which is confusing to some people, because the University of Kansas healthcare network has a pretty good reputation. But the experience of your average Kansan does not reflect that.

My aunt had been seeing doctors about her coughing all year. She was not ignoring the problem or putting off treatment. She was not rich by any means, but she made a comfortable living, owned her home, and could afford to help out her three adult children from time to time. She had what passes for "good" health insurance before graduating to Medicare, which despite being repeatedly gutted, is still better than any private insurance I've had.

My personal experiences with the Kansas system are from years ago, as I moved away in my 20s. My parents still live there, though. From what they tell me about their doctors, things have not improved. But we all know the plural of anecdote is not data, so...

Kansas maternal health care deserts mean hardships on mothers, communities and providers

Kansas’ unrivaled rural hospital crisis: 58% at risk of closing, 82% lost money on patient care

Kansas is number 18 on this list of states with primary care deserts. 23 counties bear that designation, affecting over 30% of the state's population.

But it's not just about the numbers; the type of doctor you tend to get in KS is just...

Well, they are the type of doctor to refuse a person with a degenerative spinal condition a disability parking tag, on the theory that the extra walking would be good exercise.

They are the type of doctor to mark "temporary" on their patient's disability tag form so the patient has to take their walker to the motor vehicle office every six months to get the tag renewed.

They are the type of doctor to prescribe multiple courses of antibiotics for six months before testing for lung cancer.

I'm sure there are plenty of perfectly decent medical professionals in Kansas. Unfortunately, they seem to be massively outnumbered.

It's depressing. It shouldn't be this way. It doesn't have to be this way. But here we are.

[fyrets]

I know this is a PB blog that has been very VERY open about their support of the project, so it would be uncouth to say anything negative about it but I'm thinking about how extremely unprecedented PB is in.. a way that isn't necessarily bad but, weirdly off-putting when thinking about it.

this got long so under the cut it goes

PB is the most funded petsim on Kickstarter. It raised over $80,000. That's an incredible achievement, and they absolutely deserve it! But that already puts it in an incredibly unprecedented position. Petsims using crowdfunding platforms for their projects is already pretty uncommon all things considered, at least historically in the grand scheme of things where most are just passion projects made in the spare time of a handful of people. many of them manage to stick around through the sheer force of will a dedicated userbase can bring, but most stay pretty small and more completely fade into obscurity. And that's fine, y'know? A little sad for the ones that go dark, but it is what it is.

But ever since FR's success I think a lot of people have almost forgotten that a petsim becoming a smash hit isn't the norm, or at least they don't realize just how uncommon it is and how much work goes into making something as successful as FR past the KS stage. probably the most notable examples are Dappervolk (the previous holder of the "most funded petsim" title) and Lorwolf (most recent KS funded game that is quite derivative of FR to launch).

Now Dappervolk is a bit of an outlier by virtue of it being a pretty different game to the typical petsim and it being more of an avatar game but yeah yeah yeah everyone around me at the time called it a petsim so I'm counting it. It's pretty well known that it had a very strong start with a pretty big playerbase during beta and launch, but people lost interest rather quickly for a lot of reasons. I'm admittedly out of the loop for those reasonings (my reason for dumping DV was I Just Forgor) but from what I've heard it was a combination of the gacha system, heavy grind, and some paywalled monthly content. Now I have heard that it has gotten better recently, but I wouldn't know myself and it still hasn't recovered the numbers it once had.

Lorwolf is a much more relevant point of comparison both because of recency (fully launched earlier this year) and it operates a lot more like FR in many aspects like having limited color slots, a wheel of pre-selected colors, and a bunch of other little stuff, making it a more direct competitor to FR. I didn't find out about LW until after the beta period but I was managed to sign up for the "Early Access" it had, and it was pretty good! Spirits were very high and though the full launch got delayed, when it came around it made a big impact. Much like DV did in its launch, lots of people rushed to cross-site trade their FR stuff for LW, indicating a lot of confidence for the game and its future. Unfortunately, things aren't looking good now 6 months out from full launch. There is a lot to consider when assessing how we've gotten to this point of very low morale, but I guess the biggest thing would be the community having to deal with feelings of being unheard and abandoned as a result of very inexperienced developers. I genuinely hope things turn up sometime soon, but I'm not sure for how long I can keep that hope.

So what am I getting at with all of this? Am I expecting PB to fall a similar fate of having a very big beta and launch only to bleed players months later as a result of people either realizing the game doesn't suit their playstyle or because the game is seemingly abandoned with radio silence from devs? No! I have a lot of hope for PB to deliver a game that has something for everyone, and based on how well they've handled communication along with knowing so far I doubt we would be left in the dark. Despite my hope though, the odds are stacked against PB having the same level of success as FR.

But what if it does manage it? What if PB manages to be a smash hit and it stays a smash hit? What lessons will the people who hope to make their own games take from it? Will their takeaway be that this game was successful because it made the most money ever (and got additional investment!)? Or will people try to see what commonalities it and FR had and try to do the same? Will we see more projects try and fail to achieve success? Or will they manage to crack some kind of code and join the ranks of giants? Just what sort of impact will PB have?

[sokokoko]

These are from @awfulalignmentcharts

I have wanted to fill out alignment charts for so sooo long. I even have some saved on Pinterest that I might get to later

Using my characters from After School Guardians for this <33 I did 10 charts because I don't have self control

Sorry I haven't made proper drawings for everyone yet :((( but these are them. I'm going to rant about my characters and their placements now though🚨🚨🚨

Any good, healthy decisions Ash makes is as a result of him thinking about his father

I was so tempted to put him in doesnt study and it shows seeing as he's proved to be a problematic disaster (see: road trip and living together 😭)

Stormy aces without studying even though she's not much of a brainiac (more of a fashionista type, tbh) because a lot of her youth was spent either surviving or sharpening her mind. She's unexpectedly smart sometimes (kind of sad that it's "unexpected", as if she can't be both beauty and brains). She has photographic memory and commits important details to mind (which really helped her when she was on her own) and I think that'd transfer over to remembering things she needs to ace tests

There's no other way to put it but to say Shadow is a himbo. but!!! he can't completely be blamed? He, Ash, Crystal and Stormy are all non humans getting used to human things so stuff's kind of complicated. Although, it probably makes him look really dumb seeing as the others aren't doing things as silly as him

On the note of them being non human, (Shad a boogeyman, Stormy a siren, Crystal a harpy and Ash an it's complicated) they don't attend school (they'll definitely have their moments where they show up and embarrass the human gang or get into shenanigans) so the studying one is definitely hypothetical

I'd honestly be scared to give some of those guys phones. Crystal would follow instructions on how to use it (probably being guided by one of the humans), Shadow would struggle for 3 months and discover a new feature every other day ("huh?? You can check the weather? I thought this was just a calculator???" "Shadow, PLEASE 😭") Stormy would probably always be getting hers wet/forgetting it's not waterproof and Ash would be the one with the horribly cracked screen, disgusting fingerprints all over or losing his phone frequently (possibly all at once. If so, Zinthia would faint after seeing the "phone" and she isn't phased by many things [execpt Ash being Ash])

It's okay though cuz Zinthia and Alan are our rich kids!! Just buy more phones and ignore what Ash is doing to his current ones 💞

Zinthia steals your wallet only for the thrill of stealing it but doesn't care about money cuz she has her own ✨

Alan will def help u out by holding ur wallet for u but he got his own money so he wouldn't even have any particular intentions. He's not not touching your money cuz he cares about you or your feelings. No, no. Koko is the only one who could be accused of caring about feelings (Shadow too but not in the situation in which you give him your wallet and say he can buy something if he likes)

Crystal's alignment explained wallet wise; she simply doesn't care about material goods (but food is 💯 the way to her heart)

The phone wallpaper one is actually really interesting to me cuz the pairs seem to mostly have the same tastes. Crystal is Nino's guardian, Stormy Alan's, Ash Zinthia's and Shadow Koko's and they're all basically next to each other ("basically" cuz Koko and Shadow deviated, dang it, guys)

The arrows in the thunderstorm one indicate that they'd just be comforting their magic guardians and Alan would use hot coco (never been so glad before that i used Ks in Koko's name 😭✋) while Nino uses his awkwardness

The storm one is funny but Crystal and Stormy are literally reliving trauma so that puts a bit of angst to an otherwise lighthearted situation. Thanks, Soko 🙏 just what the Dr ordered 💞

I felt the need to add something special for Stormy during the road trip. She'd appreciate me letting her have a place at the top <3

Nino and Koko protect the snacks in shifts but show no loyalty/there are no discounts for each other if they both happen to awake at the same time while one is guarding and the other is craving snacks

The urge to say Stormy disappears into to the ocean was so strong but considering the fact that she's a siren that's literal just running away 🤣 so Nino gets to avoid his problems through cryptidhood

Im crying at how Ash's placements literally tell a story

And Alan's "aesthetic" wallpaper exclusively means he goes through rotations of pictures of stars. Because he is obsessed with them by virtue of his family and their history. I won't get into that just like I won't get into what Ash is because that is a whole Thing™️™

Also, Alan is not meek, that's just the drawing. He's more of an intelligent, dedicated and composed person. Crystal might seem a bit similar to him because they had some similar answers or in how they are studious, but she is quiet and stoic in her intelligence and has a bit of a superiority complex towards the others at first. Alan just tries to wrangle these heathens he's been stuck with (read: everyone but Koko and occasionally Shadow if he doesn't get attacked in conversation. Despite how silent and level headed she is most of the time, Crystal gets hella argumentative with Stormy.)

✨ Refer to this post for the old + new summary of After School Guardians ✨

[dope-me]

It's also kinda funny or sad that #g gets dedicated posts. Though she has done the most harm. I'm curious to see if the naming pattern of exs will continue. Since it was k -> k -> s -> s -> s -> b -> b -> s -> c -> c -> g was the naming conventions thus far. So I usually repeat a letter. The first two Ks didn't really count and one of them for no reason became toxic over a decade later towards me. First S was the true real relationship. Second C was the healthiest. Unfortunately there isn't a pattern for who was worth dating in the end. One of those Bs may even find this tumblr too.

Don't mind my word vomit posts today. Trying to keep ideas organized for therapy coming up, while also not allowing myself to indulge in my addictive rumination towards g.

[jumpthensfall]

good morning i hope taylor knows how insanely loved she is

[myladyofmercy]

young royals rewatch

episode 6

i love this opening montage so much

right until the credits come up over wille screaming

wish we got that scream scene without the credits for edits tho

the little girl looks at simon as if she personally has seen the video

it must be so weird to see your face on a magazine cover. i wonder what the article says

he's wearing purple (in solidarity with simon)

you have nothing to apologize for wille baby

did simon go to the police tho?

love the little detail of clothes we seen on the show already laying folded up on the washing machine

is the floor of the library so clean that they can lie and sit on it? aren't there any chairs?

august just listening to the theories like the little bitch he is

I'm calling the cops if you don't leave

i love stellas clothing style so much

sara putting 1 and 2 together

rosh and ayub are back!!!

i have not seen kim ks sex tape and i don't intend to watch it

I really hope simon doesn't change schools in s2. I'm with rosh on that one

why is the sky so yellow? light pollution?

willes pajama pants from ep 2 are back

august you little shit stop spitting live lessons and spill the truth

fish scene flashback

the looney tunes shirt is back

first kiss fit

yellow tshirt, yellow shirt, yellow backpack. i know you're the center of willes universe but do you really have to look like the sun?

footsies

wille matches the blue background but simon sticks out like a sore thumb

this scene is so poweful even without a kiss

oh no i know what's coming

sara pls don't do this

she's wearing purple (in solidarity with simon)

wilhelm doesn't have everything he has nothing you piece of shit

and he will lose simon because of you too

oh doobidoo i wanna be like you u u

why does sara look kinda sad when august kisses her neck tho?

as someone who rarely sits at the dining table for dinner and watches tv during 99% of meals i relate to simon and his mom

how does felice dress fit sara so well tho?

simon you are not her father

linda you are her mother. pls act like that more often or i will have to rewoke your best mom card

the star behind simons head looks very pretty

simon saying annan and dum in this conversation makes me think of certain songs by a certain artist

sara and wilhelm both called simon fin

why do felice and maddie have their own bathroom and wille the crown prince has to share with the other guys on his floor?

the mirror shot of them on the floor

i don't think simon really believes wille will tell the truth

it's their last kiss and it breaks my heart

the sad scarf is back

why do the subtitles say how do you do??? simon says good day. that is way more formal than how do you do! simon isn't joey from friends

this car conversation is so frustratingly sad

love how many words i understand bc they sound so similar to the german word in this conversation

let wille and simon have sex in his royal bed in s2 petition

willes tie looks very yellow (simon anyone?)

why is rosh never included in eriksson family time?

poor simon

(love his sweater tho)

who put the name joakim for willes second bodyguard out there? is it canon?

i hate this scene so much

simon did the right thing even though it breaks his (and willes AND MY) heart

hemlighet

love how we see simon leaving blurry in the background

felice being the best detective

also she calls the guy she asks where willes room is edvin

why isn't there a bodyguard in front of willes room?

willes little flinch when he sees simon on the screen

yes the confrontation scene!!!

august is working out again. of course.

why didn't wille mention erik in this scene tho? something like erik told me i could trust you

edvins acting is so good in this scene. rising star award winner indeed.

this phone call hurts so much

love how him hanging up stops the background music and we are left with silence until the match strikes and the choir begins singing

wille and simon are wearing so much more hair product than they did during the whole rest of the season

god jul

the sad scarf is back again

is simon talking with sime choir kids?

falling

we are falling now

förlåt

jag älskar dig

hoppas du fan en fin jul

tack simon

running with a crown on your head

he wants to run bad so badly

city's on fire but it's beautiful

chills literal chills

i hope they continue with the 4th wall breaks in s2

i love this show

i hate this show

[kaisoobeliever]

So the DFTF era is over and with that possible Kaisoo content too. Makes me a little sad but what we got is pure gem. Also the way they were clinging onto each other said loud and clear that nothing has changed between them and they are still the closest just like their debut days. I will never forget Ksoo's uncontrollable giggles at Ji's antics and the way it seemed he was extra whipped for ji. Like gave him more attention than strictly needed and I loved every moment of it.

On the last episode ji spoke up about ksoo's astigmatism and also he supported ks throughout. I mean there are some people who will still say that they are not close but yes not everything is shown.

Just because we don't see Kaisoo going out and having dinner and doing shopping doesn't mean they are not together. So much happens in their lives and only 1-2% we get to know. So...I'm really happy knowing that they are very happy especially Ksoo. We have been seeing ji happy since his debut and now it's Ksoo's turn and I can't wait for the album.

P.S. ji liked Ksoo meme on insta. Now tell me that guy doesn't search for Ksoo pics and videos. 😏😉

[snickiebear]

🏆 fav fic youve written - & bc im nosey, why!!

EGGTOASTIES!!!!!!

🏆 fav fic you've written + why

i'm going to be honest; i love all my works... so i'll just list all my favs LMFAOOO :))) (these aren't in any specific order)

1. this is where we stand, within the ruin, among the very dead (we are the catalyst of our own destruction, the impetus of our own rebirth) | M | kakasaku

ok!!! this is my favorite sub from KS month!!!! its absolutely angsty, told in second person (one of my favorite writing styles) and its just... i really love writing from angsty kakashi. like the man has been through so much and i love playing with his trauma. and i am also very, very fond of angry!sakura, and in this one she's absolutely furious. just... i really love the emotions i put into this one, the wording, imagery. super proud of it :')

2. a drop of power (there is an ocean) | T | kakasaku

second favorite from KS month!! angsty just like the previous but its a little more sweet?? i am a whore for "self made monsters" and just two broken people jamming their shards of self together to create a whole. plus, i really love playing with how Kakashi and Saku are just kind of... forgotten when it comes to Nart and Sasuke,,,, like they played just as much as a role but well,,, 👀

3. a booming laugh, the bounce of that ass | T | leesaku

THIS ONE IS SO FUNNY TO ME!!! this was a prompt from lyn (roommates au) and i just- LNDSBALKD lee would have a nice ass. AND WE ALL KNOW IT. (sakura knows it too, it is a major part of her downfall HAHAHAHA). this ones super light and fluffy and funny, sakura & akatsuki are so much fun to write i love them so much

4. truths: seek them, tell them, accept them | T | shikasaku

another one in second person (its so much fun to write in!!!!) which means its absolutely angsty with a touch of fluff!! touching on the fact that sakura has worked and worked and worked to make herself strong and be strong and all of that is just looked over, is one of my favorite things. shikamaru seeing her hard work, and seeing sakura suffer, then reaching out a hand is also one of my favorite things.

5. god's pity | T | shikasaku

AAAAAA my favorite from ShikaSaku week!!!! i love the story telling aspect of this one!!! and the roman numerals you're bound to see in a lot of my work (inspired by mousey!!!! who also got me into second person writing) are just AAAAA. this one is a little sad but the end is happy!!! and i just really, really love writing romance through the ages, lifetime after lifetime type shit

6. you taught me how to misbehave | T | kakasaku

a birthday gift for ele!!!! i spent so much time on this one, really trying to make it as good as i could get bc i fucking love ele so much and she deserves the WORLD. you'll find some hannibal references and just "poetry" in this while also a lot of fluff and humor!!! i really enjoyed writing it and i go back to reread all the time :'''') super proud of it

7. war torn and ragged (the beginnings of peace and a soft, soft life) | T-M | kakasaku

this series was the one that really helped like get me on the radar LMFAO,,, it is completely self indulgent with God Eater Saku and same age KKSK as they attempt to parent team 7 while also fixing everything! so basically; nothing ever goes wrong bc sakura and kakashi said "no." LMAO this one holds a special place in my heart cause i just really love their dynamics and everything :))))))

8. the making of a woman (the killing of a god)

okay! so you've already read this one, but i wrote this for mittens (who is an absolute genius!!!!!!!) and i wrote like three different drafts for it until i finally got to the final one and was like THIS IS IT!!! i usually write a very combative sakura with a temper and can/will kick your ass. but this one, she's much more sly, more clever, uses everything about her to lure in her prey before snapping (which was so interesting to explore). and i love big ole softie kks :)))))

9. of love and war | E | shikasaku

this monster fic has been living in my head since january. its gone through five different drafts before i finally settled on the final idea. i spent so much time (aka: not enough time,, sigh) world building and creating the lore and religion structure for the world. i know things about the world that will never make it into the actual fic. and!!!! i get to write blood thirsty shikamaru in a fantasy setting and its just so cool!!!!! its a hate to love/enemies to lovers story and i am having so much fun with the angst and how magical the world is!!! and the mystery aspects are just AAAAAA i'm so hype and excited about this. i'm 30k in and only 4 chaps + prologue out of 11 chapters so AAAA :)))))

10. a cocoon in the heart, a spark in the brain | T | leesaku

leesaku has such a soft spot in my heart, this was another prompt from ele (who gives the best prompts man, like wtf) that really got out of hand. i just love the vibes from it, very subdued and a little sad but with a touch of humor and fluff. lee and sakura deserve the world and each other. plus, playing with the whole "butterflies in my stomach" and "fireworks in my chest" thing when you have a crush was super fun :))))

OKAY so that was probably MUCH longer than you wanted HAHAHAH IM SORRY!! but yeah thank u for the ask :'''''')))))

[kaisoounderground]

I'm sorry if I'm disturbing but I don't know what to do I'm feeling sad and it's wrong, i know i shouldn't feel like this, but it's like 2016 all over again and I'm torn between believing it or not. I want to believe in Kaisoo and continue to appreciate what they have but at the same time I don't know if it's the right thing to do : (

Anon, of course you are not disturbing! I am so glad you sent this ask to me. My heart goes out to you. We are all in a funk, some feeling more wobbly than others, but everyone is disappointed at this turn of events, especially when kaisoo is going so strong.

The thing is that the fact that they have been obvious, when they had to have known this was coming, should give us comfort that they are still real, that nothing has really changed but the external. 

When kai*stal was the thing, that didn’t stop them and when that was over they stood together and just became stronger and more bold until here we are, two years later, coming off of the sweetest year of watching and celebrating them and supporting them.

Personally, I think that there is absolutely no reason at all to stop believing in them because nothing has changed and we have evidence to prove that. As I said above, they knew this was coming and yet we have had a markedly increase in moments over the last couple of months (supposedly when JI and Jennie were supposed to have been dating already). Think about that for a second. Did you have any indication that JI’s affections lay elsewhere? No, it was all for KS. Even to the Gayo on New Year’s Eve showed that JI was still fussing over KS, mere hours before this news came out. He has not changed, they have not changed, why should we in our belief in them at this point?

You have to do what will give you peace in your heart but maybe give it a little time before feeling like you have to decide and do anything? There is no pressure or time limit. All this is so dodgy that we might be able to dispel all this altogether or it may end sooner rather than later if it is an epic fail (although I do not want anyone hurting in the process, that would be awful).

I hope I have been at least a little help Anon. Please feel free to send more asks or DM me if you like. I don’t have any real answers but I will give it a try. We are all in this together. 💖💖

[dirtybiowareconfessions]

KS. After a few of these, I'm seeing that it's kind of canon that FemShep's sex drive is out. of. control. People talk about their tragic back stories, and she goes "SEX." People talk about sex and she literally loses her mind with the horny. But, it works. She's wooed many a sad dude with her libido.

Oh, please, like male Shepard is any better.

Liara: “my mom just died”Shepard: “want me to cheer you up? ;)”

Jack: “and this is the place I was tortured and experimented on”Shepard: “hot stuff, wanna bang?”

Miranda: “so my father abused me and my best friend betrayed me”Shepard: “dat ass though”

Steve: “i am crying over my dead husband–”Shepard: “MY BODY IS READY”

Shepard of any gender is a freak in bed, and that’s why we love them!

-edi

[just-a-random-side-blog]

Kind of wish I kept reading ks as it came out, I feel like I missed so much in the fandom and I'm sad its over