#I’ve olalways been a horrendously horrible picky eater
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Now my mom is mad at me for “not being willing to take care myself”
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I am trying so hard and I fight a losing battle every day
I know you don’t see it.
I know it looks like I just sit on the couch and play video games all day.
And it looks like that to me too.
But there are REASONS I’m unwilling to change these patterns. They mostly work. Or did. And some of the parts that don’t I AM trying to change.
But I am not going to bed at 9PM or waking up at 6:45AM for love or money and especially not because you hate my eating habits.
#lynx tales#yes I don’t eat enough food during the workday or before it#I know this#I am unwilling to budge on this#also heads up! the meds that make me nauseous if I don’t eat right away#also seem to have dampened my apetite!#so even I wanted to eat something substantial#(and had the time/energy to clean up after it)#I’m not sure what that would be#ALSO! all of the food in this house sucks!#I do my own supplemental grocery shopping once in a while to try to remedy this#but the things I most want to buy would definitely get me teased#and of course there’s the fact that I grow bored of mist food really fast#especially if I have to eat it over and over#I’ve olalways been a horrendously horrible picky eater#abd I know my parents hate it#i can’t fix it.#I’ve expanded my repertoire#but it’s never going to go away.#I wish she’d just kick me out and cut me off so I’d never have to speak to her again#I wish I’d been able to move out#I will always be here.#I will always take up too much space.#how am I supposed to fix this#how am I supposed to spontaneously become the productive mentally healthy stable professional#that I know they wish I was#I’m such a fuckup#I don’t know why the universe lets me live#just let me decompose like I should have when I was 19
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