#I’ve no more patience for this bullshit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

osarina · 4 months ago

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ᡣ𐭩 MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE NEVER BEFORE

FEATURING: dazai osamu

SUMMARY: your patience is thinning. despite having a conversation with dazai and being led to believe everything is okay, he's suddenly avoiding you again. luckily, or maybe unluckily, his hand is forced when he realizes that you're not waiting for him this time. whether he likes it or not, this confrontation is happening—except you slowly realize as it goes on that dazai's definition of intimacy is dreadfully different from yours.

{wordcount: 10.4k; ņsfw; fem!reader, pm!reader, i wouldn't say this is angst but it does deal with some references to heavy topics; jealous!dazai, depictions of dissociation (dazai), dazai's on the brink of a mental breakdown for a bit in the beginning, references to abuse (dazai. no actual depictions), references to dubcon (dazai. no actual depictions), dazai is wildly intelligent but not so much when it comes to sex & other forms of intimacy (he is quite uneducated in fact), slight oral (male rec), unprotected sex, sub!dazai, dazai and reader argue for a bit (he calls her a whore - doesn't mean it but still says it)}

AUTHOR'S NOTES: 😒i hope you guys know im sitting here glaring at my computer because i did not want to post this fic. it's been sitting in my google drive for like AGES and im literally having to physically force myself into formatting this post because i wanted to keep it hoarded forever. anyway, read the warnings for this one pretty pls, this fic is a bit loaded—not exactly angst, but it references some heavy topics. let me know if any warnings are missing as always!

“I’m so sick and tired of him.”

You listen as Chuuya lets out another heavy sigh next to you, pointedly taking a sip of his wine, but you don’t even bother to glance at him as you glare down at your phone. Left on read, again, Dazai ignores your message asking him to meet you and Chuuya at the bar. You slam your phone down on the dark wood of the bar top before reaching for your own glass, taking a large gulp of it before opening your mouth to continue complaining, much to Chuuya’s displeasure.

“I thought things would be different after we talked. He moved back into my apartment but he’s still avoiding me like the fucking plague. I mean Christ, I broke up with my boyfriend, came crawling back to him because I knew he was pissed even though he’d rather kill himself—literally—than admit he likes me. Why the fuck can’t he even given an inch? Meet me halfway?”

“Because he’s Dazai,” Chuuya says dryly. “What did you expect from him, honestly? … And we all know you weren’t going to stick with that civilian.”

“Oh, shut up,” you tell him bitterly. “That’s not the point. The point is I did, and I went right to him, and we talked, and he acted like everything was fine, and now he’s pulling this shit. How is he going to live in my fucking apartment and avoid me at every corner? And whenever I do manage to catch him, he makes up some bullshit excuse about a mission I know he doesn’t have and disappears.”

You lean back in your chair, brows furrowed and fingers curled around your glass. By now, all of the people that had been sitting near the two of you at the bar have dispersed to the dancefloor—if your arrival with Chuuya hadn’t been enough to send them scattering, your foul mood was more than enough to make them give you a wide berth.

“I’m frustrated,” you finally hiss. “I’m just frustrated, am I allowed to be frustrated, Chuuya?”

Chuuya side-eyes you. “Stop fuckin’ complaining to me about it and do something about it, jeez,” he says, hand sliding into his pocket to pull out a cigarette, holding it between his lips as he fumbles for a lighter to light it.

“Have you been listening to a word I’ve said?” you ask, becoming increasingly more irritated as you pull out your own lighter to light it for him. “I tried talking to him, now he’s ignoring me.”

Chuuya has the audacity to roll his eyes, looking at you with an unimpressed expression that makes you want to pluck his cigarette out of his mouth and put it out on his skin. As if he can hear your thoughts, he leans back, giving you a suspicious look.

“I’m not talking about that shithead,” Chuuya drawls. “If you’re so frustrated, go find some sorry bastard to fuck it out of you. We both know that’s all it takes to get you to settle down.”

“Fuck you,” you say instantly, not appreciating how he acts like you’re a nympho. But already, your gaze is carding across the room, trying to see if someone catches your eye. When you find yourself disappointed, you look back at him and ask, “You offering yourself up?”

Chuuya barks out a laugh. “Fuck no,” he tells you instantly. “No way. Don’t even say that shit to me.”

You’re almost offended, squinting at him and leaning back in your seat. “Why not? Like old times. You know what I like, I know what you like, we can make a good night out of it,” you propose as you lean your elbow on the bartop and observe him.

“Because shitty Dazai will never let me hear the end of it if he finds out,” Chuuya says pointedly, taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Bastard is annoying as is, if he finds out I’ve slept with you? It’d be the end of the world.”

“You have slept with me though, Chuuya,” you taunt. “Who’s to say I won’t tell him anyway?”

You won’t, but you like the way Chuuya’s lip curls up in irritation around his cigarette.

“Go ahead,” he tells you. “I’ll tell him all about that time in Osaka.”

You gasp, scandalized. “Chuuya,” you hiss. “You would not. You swore.”

“Try me,” Chuuya says, raising his eyebrows at you, looking all too smug as you flounder for a response.

Humbled, and a bit mortified, you return to looking around the club, lowering your standards this time. You spot a blonde standing in the corner of the club, eyes flitting around curiously as he observes the people on the dancefloor, and a redhead laughing wildly as she spins with a drink in hand, teetering off to the edge of the floor. You purse your lips.

“No one is catching my attention,” you complain, sinking back down in your seat.

You decidedly don’t like the smirk that edges onto his lips as he looks at you, and it’s for good reason, because the next words out of his mouth have your eye twitching: “You’re that down bad for him already? Jesus.”

“I am not,” you spit out, glaring at him before pointedly returning to your hunt, looking around more intensely this time.

But even as you do that, you start to wonder if that’s why no one is standing out to you tonight. How the fuck is anyone supposed to compare to Dazai Osamu? The thought is ridiculous—you don’t want to tug at blonde hair to pull someone down into a kiss, you don’t want a head of tousled red locks buried between your thighs, there’s only one person you actually want in your bed and he’s been avoiding you since you talked things out with him.

You let out a heavy sigh, considering just admitting defeat, but then your eyes drift to a tall, dark haired man entering the club, making his way over to the bar; his hair is a bit too long and a bit too straight, and his eyes aren’t the right shade, but they’re sharp enough and you’re tipsy enough to willfully confuse them for the familiar brown you desire.

“Nevermind,” you breathe out. Chuuya doesn’t even spare you a goodbye as you slip from your seat to make your way over to the man, lifting his hand in a lazy wave. “I found someone.”

Chuuya was right.

You think maybe you should stop doubting him as much as you do. This is not the first time that you’ve fought him tooth and nail about something only for him to be proven right in the end. But you’re not going to tell him that because he has a big enough ego and you’re not going to feed into it.

Dealing with Dazai’s fickleness the past two weeks has been much easier now that you’re fucking out your frustrations with strangers as soon as he’s gone for the night on whatever mission Mori assigns him. You take his aloofness in stride, ignoring the way he blows you off and avoids you in your own home. You think it’s bothering him, actually, because now when you walk past him without a second glance, you can see the way he hesitates from the corner of your eye, an indecipherable expression crossing over his face.

Good, you think. You hope he feels like shit.

You let out a soft breath as you tilt your head to the side, giving the man you’re with better access. From the corner of your eye, with the tousled brown hair, you can almost pretend it’s him, but you know it’s not. His hair isn’t as soft as Dazai’s, who all but hijacked your expensive shampoos and conditioners, and you can’t feel the bandages that should be tucked beneath the tufts of hair. Your mind starts to drift, comparing how you think Dazai’s touch would be to this man’s. When you first kissed him, he was unsure and hesitant, would he still be now? Or has he grown more confident? You think he must’ve, you’ve seen him with people during events, lips tilted up in a sensual smile, lashes fluttering as he leads them into one of the backrooms.

Sick and unfair, you think to yourself bitterly.

You let out a heavy, disappointed sigh.

“You good?” the man asks—you don’t remember his name, you don’t even know if you cared to ask. His voice is distinctly different from Dazai’s low hum whenever he teases you, a total immersion-break from your desired reality.

You roll your eyes, irritated. “Don’t speak.”

The man lets out a noise of agreement, fingers biting a bit harder into your waist as he continues kissing down your neck. You don’t really mind, the sting is nice, just enough force to draw your mind away from Dazai. The sigh you let out is more pleased now, eyes slipping shut as his hands slide up your body, kisses trailing down your neck to your collarbone. His lips are too soft; Dazai’s are horribly chapped no matter how much chapstick you force on him.

Dazai is out on another “mission”. You don’t even know if it’s a real mission or if he’s just claiming it’s a mission so he doesn’t have to stick around the apartment while you’re there, lowering the chances of running into you. For all you know, he’s just going back to that shitty shipping container he spent a year in and hanging out there until you leave for one of your own missions or a meeting. He looked particularly sullen as he left earlier, casting looks back to where you’d disappeared into the kitchen, not realizing you could still see him before he finally left your apartment.

He’s such a pain in the ass, you think, getting irate again as he drifts back into your thoughts. He makes everything so difficult, things would be so much easier he just admitted that he wanted to be with you. You really don’t know how much more of this back and forth, wishy-washy shit you can take from him. You care about Dazai. You do. Probably more than anyone else in your life and you’re sick of him taking it for granted.

You hum in approval when the man lifts his hands to your button-up, hesitating as he waits for your consent, and your gaze flicks up to the ceiling as he continues kissing down the revealed skin; from the crook of your neck to your collarbone, between your breasts, he unbuttons all the way to your navel.

You find yourself a bit bored, counting the specks on the ceiling, taking note of the crack that you’re sure is somehow Dazai’s fault. You think there must only be two more buttons left for him to undo before you can slide the shirt off of your shoulders but you start to feel uncomfortable under his touch, you feel prickly and his lips trailing down your body makes your skin crawl.

“Off,” you finally say, voice sharp. You press your hand against his shoulder to push him off of you, sitting up straight to sit properly on the couch. You scowl as you fumble through your pants pockets to find a cigarette.

This is Dazai’s fault somehow.

“Did I do something wrong?” the man asks hesitantly, trying to shift closer to you again. “I-”

“No,” you say bluntly, lighting the cigarette and lifting it to your lips. “Get out of my apartment.”

The man hesitates, you can feel his eyes lingering on you and you’re becoming increasingly more irritated, shooting him a glare from the corner of your eye until he finally rises to his feet, buttoning his shirt as he makes his way over to the elevator. You slump back against the couch, sighing as you look up at the ceiling and take a long drag from your cigarette.

Dazai’s fault. As soon as he crossed your mind, your whole demeanor had changed and you try to convince yourself that it’s because you just don’t know what his issue is. You don’t know why he’s avoiding you, you don’t know what changed after you met with him at the bar; you thought things would be good between the two of you. You thought you’d be able to be with him now that nothing’s left in your way but evidently there still is something preventing the two of you from being together and it’s something that Dazai is not sharing with you.

Bastard, you think bitterly, about to pull out your phone to send Chuuya a very irritated and very foul message about Dazai but before you can, the elevator leading up to your floor bings and you look up to watch the man you’d invited over leave.

Except as the doors slide open, you realize that someone is already standing in there.

You sit up straight when you see Dazai standing in the elevator, black gaze trained right on the man leaving your apartment. His movements are almost robotic as he steps out of the elevator, his head twisting to follow the man as he steps in the elevator. He looks distinctly unnerved as Dazai’s soulless gaze tracking him until the elevator doors slide back shut.

It’s only then that Dazai only turns to look at you. His face is eerily void of emotion as he looks at you, gaze dipping down to your unbuttoned shirt and the light bruises blooming on your neck and collarbone. You tilt your head to the side as you observe him, wondering if he’s going to say something, but he only stands there staring at you.

“I thought you had a mission,” you finally say, leaning forward to put your cigarette out on the ashtray on the coffee table to button up your shirt half way so you’re not nearly undressed. When you finish, you pick up your glass of wine and take a sip. “You’re back early.”

“I finished early,” Dazai replies, monotonic.

He doesn’t budge from where he’s standing, limbs stiff and face blank. You glance down, noticing that he’s holding something in his right hand—a bag, takeout, maybe? Looks like it’s from that place in Hodogaya-ku that you like.

“What’s that?” you ask, nodding toward the bag. Dazai follows your gaze down to it, staring at it as if he doesn’t even know what it is. You frown, becoming a bit concerned as you rise to your feet. “Dazai, you good?”

Dazai’s gaze doesn’t leave the bag for a second; after what feels like an eternity, he finally looks back up at you but he doesn’t even seem to be looking at you, rather it feels like he’s looking through you like you’re not even there.

“I got food,” he says blankly.

Your eyes widen a bit, wondering if this is meant to be his apology for being an asshole the past few weeks. Dazai never apologizes—he disappears until he can act like nothing happened or he does something to make up for what he did, but he doesn’t ever acknowledge what he did. It’s frustrating, but you’ve gotten used to his quirks over the years. You’d been wondering why he seemed so melancholic before he left.

You nod at the spot next to you on the couch, accepting the apology and sitting back down. “I’ll put on a movie.”

Dazai looks at the spot like it’s been poisoned, expression finally twisting from the emptiness into one of disgust.

“What?” you demand, offended.

Dazai doesn’t even respond to you; you can only stare in disbelief as he turns on his heel and walks in the direction of the kitchen. You don’t budge for a second, staring in shock to where he disappeared to, but after a few moments, you force yourself up to your feet and follow after him.

Your mind races as you make your way down the short hall into the kitchen, standing in the door frame as you watch him put the bag of takeout on the kitchen counter, pulling the different containers out of the bag and then opening the fridge. His movements are stiff and abrupt, almost robotic, and your irritation slips away when you see the expression on his face.

Closed-off. Withdrawn. Very reminiscent of the look on his face from that time he came back to your apartment after a mission that went wrong post-Dragon’s head Conflict, right before he had his first breakdown in front of you. He’d been trying to hold it all back, desperate to not lose control in front of you, but it was to no avail because it only made it worse.

“Dazai, what’s wrong?” you ask carefully as he stuffs another container into the fridge, so roughly that the plastic almost snaps. “Dazai-”

“Nothing,” Dazai responds sharply, voice cold and cutting but the way he takes in a sharp, shaky breath betrays him. “Nothing is wrong. Nothing.”

“Okay, that’s a lie,” you say flatly, sighing to yourself. “Can you just-”

“You’re the liar,” Dazai cuts you off, voice shrill and defensive in a way you’ve never heard from him before. Something crosses his face: a weird mixture of panic, anger and distress, like he knows he’s losing control of his emotions but he can’t stop himself. You don’t usually have such a hard time reading Dazai—it’s difficult, yes, but not as impossible as it currently is. It’s stressing you out because you don’t know what’s wrong and he’s clearly working himself up more over it. “You’re the liar. You’re the liar.”

Your eye twitches. Three breaths in and three breaths out. Now’s really not the time for you to lose your temper on him considering he’s on the brink of a mental breakdown for whatever reason. But you’re pissed, you don’t know why he’s calling you a liar and you don’t know what is going on, and you don’t want to deal with this especially after he just spent weeks ignoring and avoiding you.

“What did I lie about, Dazai?” you ask tightly, nails digging into your palms as you wait for a response. “Please, enlighten me.”

Dazai doesn’t respond, jaw tightening as he resumes tossing the food into the fridge.

“Dazai, stop,” you tell him, taking a step forward when he finally gets to the bottom of the takeout bag and slams the fridge shut so hard that it rattles. He grabs the empty bag and is about to storm over to the garbage can but before he can, you reach forward and grab his wrist, stopping him. “Will you fucking talk to me?”

“Let go,” Dazai hisses, trying to rip his arm from your hold but your fingers are too tight around his wrist, his bandages rough against the pads of your fingers—you don’t know why he’s still using those old scratchy ones when you stocked up with the softer ones but it only serves to irritate you more because why are you going out of your way to do nice things for him if he’s just going to toss it to the side? “Let go of me.”

“Tell me what your issue is,” you demand. “I’m done playing games with you, Dazai. Grow the fuck up and communicate.”

Dazai’s eye is wide and wild, looking far too much like a cornered animal as he bares his teeth at you and tries to yank out of your hold on him again. “My issue is that you’re a whore,” he spits out. “Let go of me. Now.”

You let go of him.

Instantly, the anger in Dazai’s face fizzles away. His eye is just as wide but his expression is lax, lips parted as if he’s only now just registering what he said. And you know he regrets it, you know that Dazai lashes out when he feels cornered; he becomes cruel and vicious, desperate in his attempts to protect himself when he feels vulnerable and since Dazai is Dazai, he knows how to hurt people. Knows exactly where the chinks in your armor are, drives the dagger in deep and twists it.

But even knowing this, it still hurts hearing that from him of all people.

“Okay.”

Your voice is quiet, you don’t even waste a second before turning on your heel and leaving the kitchen.

“Wait,” Dazai calls after you, voice wavering. “Wait, I didn’t…”

He can’t even finish the sentence because Dazai is Dazai and he doesn’t apologize and he doesn’t admit his wrongs. Doesn’t admit that he lost control and said something he didn’t mean to say. Would rather preserve his false visage of control than do anything like that.

“Where are you going?” Dazai asks and you can hear him trailing after you, words drawn long and shaky. “Hey, wait-”

You don’t know where you’re going. Leaving your apartment, you think, considering your feet are moving right to the elevator, but once you leave the building? You’re not sure. Maybe you’ll head over to Chuuya’s and crash at his apartment for the night, maybe you’ll go get shit-faced at a bar. You don’t really care, you just don’t want to be anywhere near Dazai right now. He’s put you through enough the past few weeks for you to stand here and take this shit from him.

“I don’t know, Dazai,” you say, voice cold and sharp. “Maybe I’ll go find that guy I kicked out and finish the job if I’m such a whore.”

Dazai inhales sharply from behind you. “What?” he breathes out. “No. No. I didn’t-”

“You didn’t what?” you scoff, not even looking back at him. “Didn’t mean it? You can’t even bring yourself to say it, Dazai. Clearly you did.”

That’s not true, you know it’s only Dazai’s pride that prevents him from forcing those words out, but you know it makes him flinch and you know it makes him hesitate. You also know how to target chinks in armor.

“No,” Dazai tries again, more insistent this time. You can hear him speeding up behind you when he realizes you’re going for the elevator. “No, you don’t need to do that. I don’t-I don’t get you. I don’t get this. I don’t get any of this.”

He sounds confused, borderline distressed—you don’t even know what he’s talking about, what he’s so confused and distressed about. How could you? He never explains anything to you, never communicates.

“You don’t get what?” you demand, reaching out for the button of the elevator but Dazai lunges forward to grab your wrist before you can. You finally turn to look at him, catching the way his jaw is tight and the strange emotion swimming in his eye. “You don’t get what, Dazai? Spit it out.”

“Why are you still sleeping with other people?” he asks, voice hitching. “You have me. You don’t need anyone else.”

You can’t help yourself—you laugh in Dazai’s face.

“No way,” you say immediately.

You don’t mean it in the way it comes out. You know it comes out as if you’re saying you’d never sleep with him, but you’re more so saying no way because you can’t believe he has the audacity to say this to you after he just spent weeks avoiding and ignoring you.

Is this what his issue is? He doesn’t know how to cope with emotions so he evades and lashes out and just expects you to stick around waiting until he grows up? Fuck him. You deserve better than that, you waited long enough, you thought you were done with these games with him.

You don’t miss the way Dazai’s expression crumbles at your words, the way he stares at you, lips parted in disbelief. You don’t correct yourself, a part of you is happy that you can get your own knife in even if you do know you’ll regret it later.

“What do you mean no?” Dazai’s voice wobbles a bit before he takes half a step back. His fingers are weak around your wrist but he doesn’t let go, feels a lot like a child clinging to their parent’s shirt. “What-I-I’m here. You want it, you were just going to-”

Not that that’s even the issue anymore, but you’re definitely not in the mood now. Honestly, you just want to go to bed. Your head hurts and Dazai is stressing you out and pissing you off all at the same time, plus you have no interest in fucking him when he seems like he’s on the verge of a mental break anyway.

“No, I don’t. I changed my mind,” you say, frustrated. “I’m tired. I want to go to bed.”

“No,” Dazai replies, voice pitched and tinged with something too close to desperation. “No. You want me and I’m here, so you should-”

God, what the fuck is your life? You’re so frustrated that you want to pull your hair out and scream at him.

“Enough, Dazai.” You raise your voice at him. “Enough. I don’t want you. I want to go to bed.”

“No,” Dazai insists and your eyes widen when you feel his grip tighten on your wrist.

“Daz-” You start to say but you can’t even finish his name, cut off by his other hand finding its way to your hip, pressing you back against the closed doors of the elevator as he dips his head down to capture your lips with his own, swallowing your protest before you can even get it out.

You think absently that you were right earlier when you were letting your thoughts wander to what kissing Dazai would be like. He’s no longer unsure and hesitant with his touches, his lips slide against yours with the expertise of someone who’s spent a lifetime kissing. The hand on your hip slides up your body so that he can hold your jaw, tilting your head back to deepen the kiss. And you shouldn’t be indulging this, you know that—Dazai pissed you off, he has some nerve calling you a whore and then whoring himself out to you—but his lips are intoxicating, you can hardly think straight with them pressed against yours.

He has your right hand pinned to the metal behind you, fingers curled tight around your wrist as he holds you in place. The way he kisses you is familiar, almost, and your brows furrow as you try to figure out why until feel his fingers brush through your hair, slow and lingering, dizzying, right before his tongue darts out to swipe across your bottom lip—a pattern of actions that you usually take to make your partners more malleable.

Did he teach himself this just by observing the way you act with people at events?

You don’t fall for your own tricks though, so instead, your free hand drops to his waist, fingers slipping through his belt loops as you press into him, pushing off the elevator to walk him backwards down the hall to his bedroom. He lets out a surprised noise in the back of his throat, letting you walk him back; his fingers fall from where they’d been around your wrist and you take the opportunity to hook yours around his other belt loop, keeping his body flush to yours until you have his back pressed against his bedroom door.

You notice, a bit absently, that Dazai is a lot more pliant now with you in control. His hands are loose at his sides as if he doesn’t know what to do with them—much like when you shared his first kiss with him—and he still kisses you back, lips moving slowly against yours, but it’s not with the intensity he had when you were pinned to the elevator door.

Strange.

You think kissing Dazai is a lot like a drug, one that you got your first hit of two years ago when you offered to be his first kiss but then never had another chance to get another taste of. You were bitter when he first started following in yours and Chuuya’s footsteps in taking people to bed to unwittingly ease information out of them—you’d find yourself watching him like a hawk as he drew people into secluded corners, as he pressed his lips against theirs and let their hands explore his body. You’d hardly be able to draw your eyes away once, not until he eventually led them out of the area to a bedroom.

You hated it. Truly. You like to tell yourself that you’re not jealous but you know it’s a blatant lie. As much as people would sell their souls to spend a night with you, they’d be just as desperate for one with Dazai because Dazai is Dazai. He’s untouchable. The Demon Prodigy. The Port Mafia’s Black Wraith. The youngest executive in history. He can be smooth and charming, yes, and he’s undoubtedly handsome. But more than that, he’s dark and unfathomable in a way that piques peoples’ interest in a sick and perverted fashion—they want to know what he’s like behind closed doors, they’re terrified of him but they want him, be it because of morbid curiosity or sheer lust.

And you hated that other people got to be with him in ways you couldn’t. Your only consolation seems to be that he had his eyes on you as much as you had yours on him, seeing how he’s pretty much perfectly mimicking the way you kiss and touch people, but you don’t know if that’s just because he was trying to learn through observing you—as he does with everyone—or if he hated watching you with other people just as much-

Oh.

Oh, you’re so stupid.

“You were jealous,” you realize, understanding what had triggered Dazai’s meltdown with the takeout food and insults toward you. Dazai stiffens against the door and you take the opportunity to trail your lips from his down to his jaw. “You were jealous over the guy I had over.”

“No-”

“You were.” You don’t even let him finish the protest, nipping at the spot beneath his ear gently and watching how he shudders. “How cute.”

“It’s not cute.” Dazai bristles. “You-you weren’t supposed-you’re not supposed to keep seeing people. I thought you were done with that. I thought we were-”

“We were what?” you ask coolly. “You avoided me for weeks after we talked, Dazai. Whatever we may or may not have been after we talked at the bar, it’s nothing when you start actively ignoring me for weeks after that.”

“But-”

You’re getting irritated again. “Dazai, you ignored me for weeks. I was pissed off and frustrated. And when I’m pissed off and frustrated, if I don’t have some way to relieve my stress, I do something stupid. Something stupid like putting a bullet in you the next time you stepped into my apartment after actively going out of your way to avoid me.”

“I was going out to get food,” Dazai says sullenly as if you were supposed to know that. “So we could watch a movie.”

“Last I recall, telepathy isn’t exactly part of my ability, Dazai,” you say dryly, calming yourself down by leaning in to brush your lips against his again.

A drug, you think again as the anger melts away when you feel his breath hitch against your lips. You reach behind him to open his bedroom door, guiding him in as you kiss him slowly. He’s fumbling again, unsure what to do with his fingers, clumsily moving his lips against yours until the back of his knees hits the bed, and he goes flopping down back on it.

You snort at the surprised look on his face, joining him on the bed as you straddle his hips. You hover over him for a second before leaning down to give him another chaste kiss, enjoying the way he tries to chase your lips when you pull away.

“Tell me why you were avoiding me,” you say quietly as you lift a hand to cup his cheek.

A foul move, you know. Dazai is always weak to gentle touches as much as he tries to pretend otherwise. You’ve noticed it when you watch movies with him and when he curls into bed with you on nights he can’t sleep. Just as you expect, he leans into your touch, lashes fluttering.

“Dazai,” you urge, “tell me why. What did I do?”

You didn’t do anything, you think bitterly, but you figure taking responsibility will be the easiest way to get him talking. You’ll fight about it later.

Dazai, to your surprise, turns his face away from you and your touch, a faraway look in his eye as he stares at the wall.

“You didn’t do anything,” he says. “I just didn’t-”

He cuts himself as if he can’t even bring himself to say it, and you know you have to do something because he seems to be withdrawing even more into his own head, eyes growing more distant with each passing second. You turn his head so that he’s facing you again and you lean down to press your lips briefly against his.

“You didn’t what?” you ask him.

Dazai still looks like he doesn’t want to answer, conflict spreading across his face as he stares up at you before he sighs and averts his gaze. “I don’t understand any of this. I didn’t want to disappoint,” he says so quietly that you barely hear him.

Your brows furrow.

“Disappoint?” you question, a bit baffled. Dazai has a complex about failure. You know that too, have known it since you were sixteen. He can’t handle it, nothing makes him spiral quite like the idea of failure—you and he are quite similar in that regard—but you don’t understand what he means in this context. “Disappoint with what?”

Dazai doesn’t answer, doesn’t meet your eyes either, and your mind races to figure out what he might be referring to. You recall how he became hesitant and unsure when you finally took control, fingers twitching at his sides, body pliant as you moved him around, almost like a doll for you to maneuver as you pleased.

“Disappoint with this?” you finally realize, watching as he grimaces, confirming your suspicions. Your chest drops. “You avoided me because… you didn’t want to have sex?”

That makes you feel a bit sick to your stomach because what does he think of you if he went to this length to avoid you just because… Dazai’s entire body jolts at your words as if realizing how they came across.

“No,” he pushes out instantly. His hands dart out to cling to your shirt as if he’s worried you’re going to leave. “No, no. I want to. I do. Not just this… just in general. Everything. Me… This is just one part of it… the easiest to make mistakes with. I don’t like making mistakes.”

It’s only mildly reassuring.

“Dazai…” You start to say, pulling away, but his hands dart up to grab your waist so he can hold you in place on top of him. You think maybe the two of you need to talk. Again. “I just, I don’t understand.”

“I want this,” he repeats again, hands sliding down from your waist to curl his fingers around the hem of your shirt. He sees that you’re not convinced by his words so he pushes out a “Please” that nearly stops you in your tracks because you don’t think Dazai Osamu has ever begged for anything in his life.

You lean down to press your lips against his again. You set the pace this time, lifting your hand to cup his cheek—you pull the same move that he tried with you, nails gently scraping his scalp as you brush your fingers through his hair. Dazai melts into it in a way that you didn’t, lashes fluttering and lips parting instinctively, letting you deepen the kiss. Dazai’s breath catches as you push your tongue into his mouth, shivering when you trace the back of his teeth.

Too pliant. All of the confidence he had earlier when he had you pinned to the elevator is gone. His breath wavers against your lips, and his fingers tremble as he grips at the hem of your button-up. Not a firm grip like you’d have anticipated, with his fingers digging into the plush skin of your hips as he grinds you down on his cock; instead, his fingers are clinging to the fabric as if he’s too overwhelmed to even think of grabbing your body.

“Tell me what you like,” you say quietly, fingers still absently carding through his dark locks as you kiss down his neck. Your other hand slips beneath his dress shirt, smoothing out over the bandages wrapped around his torso. “I want to know, wanna make you feel good.”

Dazai’s lips part to respond to you, but the only thing that escapes them is a pitched gasp—high and cracking in desperation, grip on your shirt so tight that you think he might rip it. He’s already hard, can feel his cock straining against his black pants, pressed against your thigh.

“I don’t-” Dazai’s voice is ragged; he sounds overwhelmed, almost confused. “I don’t know.”

“Hm?” you prod, nipping his neck and relishing in the way his whole body shudders at the feeling. “C’mon, Dazai, you’ve done this before. Tell me what you like.”

His gasp is choked when your hand tightens on his slim waist, lashes fluttering as his eyes roll back. More pliant and more sensitive, you note curiously, kissing back up his neck to tug at his earlobe with your teeth, a shiver running down your spine at the broken moan Dazai lets out into your ear. He jolts, eyes widening and face flushing—he looks as if he’s startled himself by the noise that escaped his lips, and you start to become a bit suspicious.

“I don’t know,” he tells you, sounding confused and frustrated. “I don’t know. It’s never felt like this before. How are you doing that?”

You pause.

You make a soft noise in the back of your throat, pulling your face back from his ear to look at him carefully because why is he acting like he’s never done this before? You know he’s slept around a lot. He picked it up over half a year ago when he got tired of hearing you and Chuuya brag about how easy it is to get things out of people like this. Made a point of making sure you knew about it when you had your boyfriend.

It’s never felt like this before.

Your chest swirls, and you feel a bit disconcerted as his words finally process. It’s never felt like what? Dazai doesn’t know why you’ve stopped, you can feel him tugging at your shirt, hazy eyes trying to focus on you. You wonder if the gears in his head are turning, realizing something might be wrong but unable to pinpoint what.

You kiss him to distract him, deeper this time. You press his head back against the soft pillow, one hand sliding to cradle the back of it as you try to break all of the quick-moving cogs in his brain so you can think in peace, cursing the fact that his mind has always been quicker and sharper than yours.

Dazai is Dazai. He’s smooth, charming—when he wants to, he could seduce anyone into his bed. You’ve watched him do it at events, sidling up close and leaning in to speak to people, dark eye lidded and voice low, a slow smirk curling at his lip as he brushes his finger lightly against the target’s lower back before guiding them out of the room. Christ, he’s nearly flustered you on more than one account. You want to say that he’s not the same kid who was nervous to kiss you two years ago, but he clearly is with how he’s reacting to your kisses and touches right now. But he shouldn’t be—maybe it’s because it’s you he’s with, maybe he’s just nervous because it’s you and not some random person he’s seducing for information.

But that doesn't explain the comment. Doesn’t explain it’s never felt like this before.

“Never felt like what?” you ask as you kiss the corner of his lips and down his jaw again, all the way to the line of bandages peeking out from his dress shirt. You undo the first few buttons, watching the way his chest rapidly rises and falls under your touch as you smooth your hands over his chest. “Hm?”

“I-I don’t know,” Dazai says, voice cracking and another breathy sound spilling from his lips as you kiss the underside of his jaw. “It’s just-it’s usually just-it’s not this.”

That doesn’t help you at all, you think. You’re about to press, but your lips on his skin have evidently made Dazai’s lips looser than they typically are because you don’t even have to voice a clarifying question to get him talking again.

“The way you’re touching me. Kissing me. It’s not like this, doesn’t feel so good,” he continues and you can hear the whine building in the back of his throat as he speaks. “It’s just sex.”

You slide his button-up off of his shoulders, revealing his bandaged body to you. You don’t make any move to remove them, but now you stare down at him, a bit perplexed. “This is sex,” you say, voice a bit stunted because you didn’t expect him to say that.

“No,” Dazai says, seemingly equally perplexed by your words, drawn out of the haze of pleasure into a more confused state. “Sex is sex. It’s penetrative.”

“... Sex isn’t just penetrative, Dazai,” you say, baffled. “This is sex. It’s foreplay.”

Dazai stares at you like he doesn’t even know what that word means.

Oh, you realize, heart sinking as you realize why Dazai is so thrown off by all of this. How has he had sex without foreplay? Sex without foreplay is… it’s boring, not enjoyable at all. More animalistic than anything, borderline painful half of the time. Is that what he’s been doing with all of the people he seduces for information? The thought is a bit jarring, but the more you think about it, the more you think it might make sense.

Dazai is prodigious when he’s given something that he can study and mimic; can execute flawless imitations of the behaviors he’s trying to learn. He learned the art of leadership from observing Mori. The art of war from observing the Colonel’s operations before his death. Adaptability from observing Kouyou during missions. Business from observing Ace’s meetings and transactions. Seduction from observing you interacting with people during events. Dazai is as terrifying as he is because he’s a perfect amalgamation of the entire upper echelon’s best skill sets. He’s adopted Mori’s mannerisms, the Colonel's strategic capability, Kouyou’s ability to adapt to any situation, Ace’s shrewdness with yen, and your charisma.

If there’s something he can observe, he can mirror it to near perfection.

So, is it really that surprising to you that the front he puts up during events is just an imitation of how you act with people? That it doesn’t translate behind closed doors? That he had nothing to study and nothing to mimic once seduction progressed to the bedroom, so he let whoever he was with take the lead to try to learn from them in the moment?

That maybe someone would use his ignorance on the subject against him?

Dazai is Dazai, you think, for the fifth time tonight. He doesn’t watch porn, he doesn’t ask people for help, and this isn’t something Mori would have ever taught him—you know that better than anyone. Mori sheltered Dazai from everything, even tried to keep you away from him; he didn’t want anything or anyone to taint the control he had over his precious Demon Prodigy. While you and Chuuya have had the chance to live, experiencing life and the outside world, Dazai’s been stuck under the watchful eye of the boss, hardly ever out of arm’s reach, caged like a circus animal to be put on display whenever Mori sees fit.

Of course, Dazai would only see it as another way to get the job done, disregarding his own comfort and pleasure—because when does Dazai Osamu ever care for his own comfort and pleasure? He lived in a fucking shipping container until you dragged him out of it. It’s not a thought that casually crosses his mind, and he wouldn’t think twice once he thinks he has an idea of what’s going on. He doesn’t see things the way you do, was never given the opportunity to understand, taught by Mori to see things as tools and means to an end, even himself.

Dazai can see your mind racing. You know he’s going to put together that something is wrong soon if you don’t move on from this. But it’s hard—it’s a bit fucking jarring to realize that Dazai’s so overwhelmed by your touch because every other time he’s had sex, he’s probably been uncomfortable or even in pain.

You lean down to kiss him again, halting his thoughts. You place two chaste kisses on his lips, sucking his bottom lip gently before kissing his cheek down to his jaw.

“What all have you done with people?” you ask him, sitting back on his thighs, lacing your fingers with his as you look down at him.

Instantly, his face is on fire. “What does it matter?” he demands, but you can feel his fingers tightening around yours.

You roll your eyes at his obstinateness. “Humor me,” you say dryly. “Are you usually the one leading, or is your partner? Are you the one penetrating or-”

Dazai’s grip on your hands becomes almost painful, so you quiet down, giving him an amused look. Maybe it's an awkward subject, but you want to have a vague idea of what he’s been doing before you do anything.

“... partner is,” he finally tells you, hardly looking you in the eye. It’s kind of cute. “... and only when it’s a woman, but she still takes the lead.”

“Do you want to take the lead tonight?” you ask him, running your thumb over his knuckles to try to get him to loosen his grip.

He does, but only barely.

“Not tonight,” he says after a few moments.

“Not tonight,” you agree. “Did you prefer topping or bottoming?”

Dazai thinks for a moment and then says, “Topping. Bottoming was…”

You force yourself not to wince, suspicions confirmed by the way he trails off.

You hum, sliding your hands up and down his bandaged sides soothingly, enjoying the way he slowly relaxes beneath your touch. “That can feel good, too,” you tell him. “I can show you that one day if you’d like.”

Dazai’s brows furrow, pointedly looking down at your clothed lower half as if trying to see through them. Your lips quirk up as he says, “But you don’t have a-”

“There are ways to work around that,” you snort, hands finally resting at his hips, drawing circles over his protruding hip bones.

“… Not tonight,” he finally repeats.

“Not tonight,” you agree again.

You lift your hands back to his cheeks, holding his face between them as you kiss him again. You kiss him deeper this time, rolling your hips against his to make his breath hitch. You drag the tip of your tongue against the roof of his mouth—he tastes like cigarettes and faintly of whiskey. Tastes familiar. Like home.

You think you could kiss Dazai forever and never find yourself sick of it. Kissing him is like a drug, you think again. Kissing him gives you butterflies in a way that you’ve only ever experienced with him when you were sixteen, and giving him his first kiss.

Kissing him is like coming home after being away for years.

He kisses you back clumsily, all of the finesse he had earlier in the night long gone. His teeth nearly knock against yours, it’s a bit too wet and a bit too messy, but you think it’s the best kiss you’ve ever had. You smile against his lips before pulling away to kiss the corner of his lips, nipping his skin when he lets out a shaky breath against your ear.

Your hands slide down his body to the waistband of his pants, fingers slipping beneath before you look up at him questioningly. “Can I?” you ask him, tilting your head to the side.

“How else are we going to do this?” Dazai counters petulantly.

Brat, you think to yourself, a bit fondly. Thoughts race through your mind but you push them away—maybe another night. You don’t respond to him, raising your eyebrows and waiting for a verbal response.

His cheeks dust pink as he says, “Yes.”

You work quickly to unbutton his pants, patting his thigh so he lifts his hips. You trail kisses down his bandaged chest as you slide off his pants. He’s very responsive to your touch, each kiss makes his breath stutter, you can feel it in the way his chest rises and falls and it only makes you want to watch him fall apart more.

“Are the bandages okay?” Dazai asks after a few moments when you kiss down to his navel. You look up at him, brows furrowed, catching the hesitant expression on his face, dark eye trained on you. “Do you want them off?”

“Do you want them off?” you throw back at him, squinting up at him.

Dazai stares at you for a moment before he shakes his head, a strange expression on his face—you wonder if he was worried you’d ask him to take them off, wonder if his other partners made comments about it, pushed him to remove them.

You wonder if it’s part of the reason why he avoided you for so long: he wasn’t ready for you to see him without them but thought you would ask him to take them off.

You leave it at that though, returning to kissing down to his hip bone, nipping the skin there and watching how his body jerks a bit in surprise. You let out a puff of laughter against his skin before you ease his briefs off, freeing his cock from where it was straining against the cloth—the soft ones you’d bought him when you’d found his rough, tattered ones in your washing machine a few months after he first moved into your apartment.

You don’t usually find cocks pretty—they all mostly look the same—but Dazai’s is. Long, not too thick, his tip is flushed a pretty pink color and a vein runs along the underside. He’s leaky too, precum drips down from his tip, right along that vein and you want to taste him, so you do.

You lean in to press your lips against his length, sucking gently on the vein before kissing up to his tip. A bit too salty for your taste, probably because of his shitty diet, but you don’t mind because the pitched moan that tumbles from his lips makes up for the taste entirely. You peek up, breath catching at the sight of his head tossed back against the pillow, swollen lips parted in a pretty moan and long lashes fluttering. He looks stunning, you wish you could take a picture—maybe another night.

You think all of his previous partners have severely missed out.

“Ah,” he gasps. “Shit, shit-”

Even with just your lips wrapped around his tip, you can feel Dazai’s cock twitching in your mouth—you wonder if he’s already on the edge. You can see the way his abdomen is spasming beneath the bandages, how his fingers are curling around the soft sheets beneath him. You don’t want him to finish yet, you want him inside you when he cums, so you only spare a few chaste kisses trailing up and down his length before sitting up straight again.

Immediately, he tosses you an accusing look. Bottom lip pushed out, cheeks flushed the same pretty pink as his tip. “Why-”

You silence him by pressing your lips against his. This kiss is lewder than your last, you push the bit of precum you’d gathered on your tongue into his mouth as you unbutton your own slacks. He makes a noise into your mouth but you don’t pull away until you feel him swallow. You smile against his lips before you pull back to slip off your own pants, watching his face twist.

“Yuck,” he says, wrinkling his nose and sticking out his tongue. “Tastes bad.”

“Have been telling you to start eating more fruits and vegetables,” you tell him, flicking his thigh as you shimmy out of your slacks and toss them to the side. “You don’t listen.”

The smile he tosses up at you is familiar, a welcome change from the distress and confusion that’s been plaguing him most of the night. “You’ve been thinking about what my cum tastes like for that long? Pervert.”

“More like I’ve been thinking about how high your cholesterol must be with how much canned crab and buttered bread you eat,” you say dryly, returning to where you’d been straddling his waist.

You lift your hands up, beckoning him to take them. He does, reaching up to lace his fingers with yours. A smile curves at your lips as you lean over him, pinning his hands to the mattress on either side of his head as you kiss him again.

Your chest feels light in a way that it hardly ever does when you’re fucking someone, fluttering in the same way it was when you first kissed him two years ago. Usually when you’re sleeping with someone, it’s all about keeping up appearances. Flirty, sensual, seductive, you’re always more focused on the task at hand than you are enjoying yourself, this is… different. You mean, it always feels good—you know how to make sure it feels good for you while getting the job done—but this…

Feels like home, you think again. Being with Dazai feels like home and it scares you a bit because he’s so flighty and unpredictable but you push away the fear to kiss him harder. You have him now, that’s what matters.

“I like canned crab and buttered bread.” Dazai pouts as he mumbles against your lips.

“Shut up,” you tell him.

You feel him smile and you know you’re not going to like what he’s about to say so you cut him off by reaching down to position his cock at your entrance. Instantly, he chokes over a moan and your lashes flutter, feeling him slide between your folds.

Shit, you hadn’t even realized how wet you were, too caught up in trying to make sure Dazai was feeling good, but now with the feeling of the tip of his cock pressed against your clit and his length firm against your core, your abdomen feels all hot and tight, head fuzzy.

You keep your forehead pressed to his, noses nudging, sharing the same sliver of air as you roll your hips, letting out a soft moan against his lips when his tip presses against your hole. Each breath he lets out hitches into a soft whine at the end, a glassy look to his eye. You don’t sink down on him yet, feeling how his grip on your hands tightens, how his breath becomes shuddered and his gaze becomes lidded.

You wonder maybe if he can cum just from the feeling of his tip pushing inside you—maybe another night.

“Please,” he breathes out for the second time tonight and who are you to deny him?

You don’t kiss him as you sink down on his cock, eyes fluttering shut when you feel how his cock stretches your walls—you want to hear him, hear the way he gasps, the way his breath catches, you want to hear his moans and whimpers. He tries to chase your lips but you keep them just out of reach until he gives up, fingers tightening around yours and hips jerking up.

“‘s so tight,” Dazai gasps as you rock your hips slowly against his. “Feels s’good.”

“Yeah?” you press, breathless.

You distract yourself from the rapidly spreading heat by kissing his neck, letting go of one of his hands to bring it to his cheek, watching as he instinctively leans into your touch, hardly able to hold his eye open. He presses a sloppy kiss to your palm, hand coming up to hold yours to his face.

“Yeah,” he says shakily, lashes drooping and lips parting in another silent moan. “Feels…”

“Feels what?” you ask him, kissing the other side of his neck before trailing wet kisses up to his opposite cheek, feeling him shudder as you tug his earlobe.

“Right,” Dazai tells you, dark eye glazed over as he looks at you, lips wet and swollen and so entirely kissable that you can’t help yourself from leaning down to steal another from him. “Feels right.”

You wonder if Dazai feels just as at home with you as you do with him and that thought is enough to make you rock your hips.

The noise that Dazai lets out is obscene and pornographic, pitched and breathy. You can hardly appreciate the lewd expression on his face—his hair matted to his forehead, eyes half-rolled back and lips parted in a pretty ‘o’—because the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls nearly has you tumbling over the edge.

Shit, you think to yourself, desperately trying to rein in the rapidly building pleasure. Shit, what the fuck?

You never cum this quickly—usually you have to slip your hand between the sweat slicked bodies of you and your partner to rub circles around your clit so you can bring yourself over the edge at the same time as him. You don’t think you’ve ever come from penetration alone—but the stretch of Dazai’s cock, the feeling of his tip bullying deep into your cunt, the sound of skin on skin and his pretty moans, it all goes right to your head and to your pussy, the telltale signs of your thighs tensing and your abdomen tightening warning you that you’re close already.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, voice shaky. “You’re so…”

You don’t even know what you're trying to say, mind becoming increasingly more empty of thought as you rock your hips again, setting a steady pace. Dazai chokes over air beneath you, the hand still intertwined with yours squeezing hard while the other one drops from the hand you have on his face to claw the bed sheets.

You feel his cock twitch inside you, the way his moans are becoming louder and lewder, the way his head falls to the side, face half pressed into the pillow, eyes knocked back, body arched. Dazai’s already so gone that you think any second he’ll cum deep inside of you and that thought alone makes your body shudder.

You grab the hand clawing at the bed sheets, guiding it between your bodies as you bounce on his cock. You can feel his hazy gaze trying to figure out what you’re doing but you’re more focused on guiding his finger to rub circles around your clit.

As soon as the pressure is placed on the sensitive nub, your hips are stuttering and a gasp is tearing from your lips. Dazai’s choking when he feels your walls spasm around him, hips thrusting up erratically to meet each of your rocks, but he’s just barely coherent enough to keep his finger rubbing circles on your clit.

Your breath becomes heavy and shaky, the pace of your hips quickening, fire spreads through you so rapidly that it’s impossible to control.

“I’m gonna-” you gasp when you feel yourself tipping over the edge, eyes trying to focus on Dazai’s face and the sight you’re met with is enough to push you over the edge.

Dazai’s jaw is slack, drool pooling at the corner of his lips, the white of his eye just barely visible, cheeks flushed a deep red. He's babbling out incoherent words: you can just barely make out your name, s’good, too tight, too much, and I’m gonna-

And then you’re choking over your own moan when you feel Dazai finish inside of you, cum warm and heavy as he fucks it deep in your cunt. His lithe body trembles beneath you, tense and arched, holding your hand so tight that you think he might break it, and your vision goes white as you cum on his cock, mind blank when the taut cord snaps within you, nails digging into Dazai’s skin.

Dazai’s cock is still twitching inside of you when you slump onto his chest, tremors still spreading through his body. You tilt your head up to ghost your lips against his jaw before sliding off of him, laying on the bed next to him. You feel empty without him inside you but you distract yourself by lifting your hand to his cheek again, tilting it to the side and forcing him to look at you.

More emotion swims in Dazai’s eye than you’ve seen him express in the entire two years you’ve known him, he looks at you so reverently that you can almost imagine three words spilling from his lips, breathy and adoring. You know he won’t say them, but it’s a nice thought, you think. You lean in to ghost your lips against his briefly, the tips of your fingers carding through his dark curls. You want to say something but you don’t know what.

Well. You do know what but you can’t say it.

“You wanted me soooooo bad,” Dazai finally says, a bit more clarity returning to his eye as his lips curl up. “I knew it, you wanted me so bad.”

“You’re so annoying,” you tell him but your voice is fond and you can’t help yourself from shifting forward to press your lips against his. You feel him smile against your lips and that warm, fluttery feeling returns.

Home.

“You love it,” Dazai sings, nipping your cheek.

A bit longingly, you think, I do.

Instead, you roll on top of him to straddle his hips, pressing your lips against his again.

“You wish.”

#dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai smut #dazai osamu x you #dazai osamu smut #dazai osamu x reader #bsd x reader #bsd smut #bsd x you #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs smut #bungo stray dogs x you

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thewickedjazzy · 3 months ago

Text

Level 1: "Taste" [Erotic Asphyxiation] For Kinktober.

ᡣ𐭩osamu dazai x afab! reader.

ᡣ𐭩Synopsis: four years have passed since you last saw dazai, but now your ex is back in the port mafia basement, dragging you back into the rabbit hole of affairs that you thought you left behind.

ᡣ𐭩Warning: nsfw mdni 18+ content, smut, sub! dazai, dom! reader choking/erotic asphyxiation, degrading, edging, orgasm control, mention of cum, cowgirl position, not proofread..etc.

ᡣ𐭩Word count: 2k.

ᡣ𐭩-check Kink Coin to unlock bonus fics´-

you pinch the bridge of your nose, making it clear that your patience is wearing thin. unbelievable. of course, it’s him—your ex, the one who abandoned both the mafia and you without a second thought. but even with everything you know about him, you never imagined he’d stoop this low.

in front of you sits the former demon prodigy, osamu dazai, hands cuffed to the chair in the port mafia's gloomly lit basement. the strangest part? no one had captured him. all you know is that one of the lower-ranked mafiosos had interrupted you in the middle of “interrogating” a particularly troublesome target, telling you that someone is waiting for you downstairs. handcuffed and refusing to leave until he sees you. and that’s how you ended up here.

it was a bad idea. why would you agree to meet someone who willingly gets themselves into the port mafia basement playing the victim? it's risky, especially not with your reputation—admired and feared in equal measure. you should’ve turned back the moment you stepped into the room, but curiosity got the better of you.

“that's absurd,” you sigh, crossing your arms. “why would you go through all this when you know i've already buried us in the past?”

his honey-brown eyes that you once adored meet yours, and despite everything, that familiar smirk pulls at his lips—the same one that used to make your heart race, but now it only irritates you to no end.

“you’re underestimating yourself, sweetheart,” he purrs. “you may not want anything to do with me, but I know for sure that you still miss me as much as I do”

you narrow your eyes, taking a step closer. “you don’t get to say things like that anymore, asshole!” you snap. “you gave up that right the moment you walked away.”

he chuckles lowly, eyes fixed on yours as if savouring your every move. "you really think i gave up on you? on us? never.."

your fingers twitch at his insinuation, irritation boiling in your chest—how dare he!! — and before you even realize what you're doing, you move to close the distance between you, gripping the collar of his beige coat and yanking him forward. his breath hitches slightly, but that stupid smirk stays plastered on his face, his eyes still locked onto yours, amused?

“bullshit!” you growl, pushing him back against the chair with enough force that the wood creaks under the pressure. “you’re delusional if you think i'd fall for your games again.”

“i’m not here to play games, baby. i came here because... I made a mistake.” his smirk fades, and for a while, you hesitate, torn between anger and love? something you’ve buried deep since the day he left. but you can’t let yourself fall for this again, can’t let him back in after everything.

“I don’t need your apologies, osamu. I’ve moved on.”

“doubt it” he chuckles lightly,“you're still calling me osamu...doesn't sound like someone who's truly moved on.” his sick smirk curls back.

without warning, you shove him again against the chair, your fingers trail up to wrap around his throat, thumb pressing down just enough to restrict his air.

dazai doesn’t flinch, if anything, his mouth parts, and a strained, breathless sound escapes—somewhere between a moan and a groan.

“stop it,” you snarl, leaning in close enough that your breath skims his ear. “I'll kill you if i have to.”

the way his adam's apple bobs beneath your hand when he swallows tells you everything you need to know. his head falls back slightly, offering more of his throat, as though inviting you to take everything. his hips shift subtly in the chair, and you almost laugh at the realization.

“oh... you still enjoy this?,” you snarl, fingers digging into the delicate skin of his neck as you feel his pulse hammering beneath your touch. his eyes flutter, pupils blown wide, “sick bastard...”

you can see the bulge straining against his pants twitching beneath the rough fabric, “...i know you very well. you think you can just fuck your way back through anyone and anything.” you growl, leaning down until your lips hover over his. “filthy womaniser”

“—you think I care about those women?” he gasps for air, his hips shifting beneath you as if to prove his point,“they were nothing. filthy, meaningless distractions...none of them mattered, none of them were you.”

you grit your teeth, but before you can reply, you feel something shift. his hands?—his cuffed hands—are no longer bound. a soft gasp escapes you as his fingers press against your lower back, pulling you forward with a sudden, fluid motion. you didn't even notice. when did he undo the cuffs? your mind races, but the thought quickly slips away as your body drags closer, your thighs with your short black skirt spreading wide over his hips, now straddling him.

your eyes widen for a moment, but the way he's staring up at you, eyes filled with lust? longing? as if he's been waiting for this moment his entire life. the teasing, bratty glint still in his eyes as he leans in, his lips brushing the corner of your mouth. “i miss you,” he whispers, “please...just one kiss, let me taste you one more time.”

your breath hitches as he draws closer and you can feel how desperate he is, his longing wraps around you like a warm blanket. his long, slender fingers graze your back, the gentle caress making you forget everything he did. his eyes, half-lidded pleading for you to close the distance, to say yes, to lean into his touch.

as he leans in, his pretty lips capture your lower one, teasingly pulling you closer. a muffled moan escapes him as he finally tastes you again, gets lost in you again, stirring emotions that you fought really hard to suppress.

his soft tongue darts out, exploring every inch of your mouth, and you can’t help but kiss him back, grinding against his clothed, hard cock.

your lips part for a moment as he pulls away slightly, “fuck...I missed the way you taste" he murmurs, his tongue brushing your parted lips softly eliciting a soft mewl from you.

you can't take it anymore, the flood of desire makes your brain short-circuit, your senses heightening, you want him again, want to feel him again, without think you yank his pants and boxers down just enough for his cock to spring free. it’s already leaking, rock-hard, twitching at the slightest movement of your hips as you position yourself over him.

you push your panties aside, and before he can say another word, you sink down onto his cock, taking him in one swift motion. he gasps, his entire body tensing as his hands fly up to grip your hips even harder. the stretch of him filling you is perfect, god, you miss how his delicious cock used to fill you up so perfectly. you can’t help but let out a low moan as you begin to ride him. his eyes flutter shut, and his head lolls back against the chair, soft involuntary whimpers escaping him. you catch his lower lip trembling, his jaw slack, utterly fucked-out beneath you.

you yank him forward by his hair, forcing him to keep his eyes on you. “don’t look away, asshole. i want you to watch while i use you.”

a needy whimper escapes his lips as you set a punishing pace, riding him hard and fast. every thrust drives him deeper inside you, the slick sounds of your bodies moving together filling the room and you can feel his warm cock twitch inside your velvet walls with every movement.

his body trembles, hips jerking uncontrollably as he teeters on the edge, barely holding on. “please—baby...i can’t—i need—nnghh..”

“you came here cuffing yourself like a good boy huh? nghh hoping i- ahhh would break you?” you coo in his ear.

his hips jerk up bouncing into you in response to your words chasing his release, but you don’t stop. you ride him mercilessly, heat building inside you signalling that you're too close. finally, when you feel his cock twitches inside you, threatening to spill at any second, you lean down, tearing off the bandages around his neck. you wrap your fingers around his exposed throat, choking him just the way he likes it.

his breath catches in his throat, eyes rolling back, a blissed out expression settling on his face.

his hips jerk up faster, slamming into you, you can’t help but match his rhythm, riding him harder, taking every inch of him as he drives deeper inside you. the tight grip on his throat sends waves of tingles and pleasure through his entire body, drool slipping from his parted lips. in a feverish moment, you catch his mouth with yours, tongues tangling as your spit mingles together, the taste of him making your belly sink in pleasure, you would never admit how much you crave him, four year— four fucking years.

“don’t stop—mngh—fuh-k mmph..yes yes i'm close—” he gasps, zoning out everything else except how your walls feel tightening around him, you continue to match his pace, but just as he's about to cum, you suddenly stop, lifting your hips so his cock slips free from your slick heat, enjoying the way he now whimpers in desperation.

“n-no- no, no... nghh.. why did you mmph..let me cum please, let me cum inside you, it hurts”

you tighten your grip on his throat, a chuckle escaping your lips as his hips buck up, instinctively chasing after your warm folds once more. “mmph..pathetic”

“no n-o, i’ll do anything—just don’t tease me like this. need to feel you around me, pleas-e..ahh!” his words turn into a moan as you squeeze his throat a bit more tighter, making his eyes roll back.

“then beg for it,” you command, your tongue trailing along the sensitive skin beneath his ear “show me how much you want it.”

he bites his lip, fighting against the urge to thrust upwards again. “please,” he gasps, lips trembling “please...i can’t hold on any longer—just let me cum inside you baby please..”

his hips buck again, more insistently this time. and with that, you sink down onto him slowly, relishing the way he gasps at feeling your slick tight walls swallow his cock,. “mngh...now, move for me,” you purr, your grip still firm around his throat.

he digs his fingers into your hips harshly, bouncing into you with fevered speed, each thrust brushing against every sweet spot you crave as he whimpers like a bitch in heat, feeling the pleaure build up once again. “fff—uhck—i’m ngh...so close!” he hisses, chest heaving with breaths to fill his burning lungs.

his last thrusts take your breath away as he thrusts up deep inside of you. the only sound left is your shared gasps and moans as he cums, coating your insides.

his jaw go slack as his release hits hard, muffling his cries as his eyes roll back, spilling deep inside you. he shudders beneath your touch, his hips bucking wildly as he rides out his orgasm.

you don’t stop riding against him, milking him for every last drop, and it’s only when his entire body goes numb, trembling and panting, that you finally slow down.

“you always come back, don’t you?” you murmur with a shaky breath, releasing your grip on his throat. “even after everything we’ve done to each other.”

“i can’t help it,” he breathes out,“every time i try to walk away... i find myself right back here... with you.”

even though you wish every inch of your body wouldn’t react to his words, you can’t help but feel the tingles run down your spine—he’s twisted, messed up even, but he never fails to pull you back in.

TAGS: @a-smol-bean @violetbutterflix @amanoava @falloutjuli @embersweapons @warriordemigosworld @cathias @v15aexe @vasarii @pe4rl-diver @sukidenks @dazaifavbandage @chuuminn @fyodorsprettynun @ace-0fspades69 @irasamu @trippyserval @alyszuha @bittysuguro @writingandmusing @thedamselzelda @corruptedwrathkitsune

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emmylksblog · 5 months ago

Text

ANNOYING HAPPINESS // H.FORT

summary: you have a fight with your bf hector and his motives turned out to be deeper than you thought. based on this request

genre: angst, comfort

warnings: none

a/n: the urge i have to comfort a man like that 😔🤌🏻 (you’ll understand me when you read it 😃)

Hector sat slumped on a bench in the locker room. The team had just won a hard game, and they’d been celebrating in high spirits. All of them except Hector. He’d been unusually quiet throughout the whole thing, barely even cracking a smile after the final whistle blew.

As his teammates made their way out of the room, chatting and laughing, he remained behind. It was only when you approached him that he finally spoke.

”Why do you have to always be so damn cheerful?”

Your heart sank at his sharp tone. You’d been celebrating with the rest of the team, excited about the team’s victory. But Hector’s words made it clear that he didn’t share your enthusiasm.

”What do you mean?” you asked carefully.

Hector gave a scoff, his irritation obvious. “You know what I mean. The whole jumping around and clapping and acting like every little thing is a big goddamn deal.”

He was staring straight ahead, refusing to look at you directly. His jaw was clenched, the muscles tight. Clearly, something was bothering him deeply.

You were taken aback by his tone. Sure, Hector had always been more reserved than the other players, and prone to moments of sullen silence, but he’d never lashed out like this. Even after a bad loss, he’d usually just remain quiet and unemotional.

”Why does it bother you so much?” you asked hesitantly.

Hector finally turned to look at you. His eyes were cold and hard, but there was also a vulnerability there that you seltenly saw.

”Because it’s all bullshit,” he snapped. “It’s not real. We win a game and you act like it’s the greatest thing in the world. But what about when we lose? Then it’s just on to the next one. It’s all just a big joke, and you’re the only one who doesn’t get it.”

You were caught off guard by his bitter words. You wanted to reassure him, to tell him that it wasn’t all a joke, but something in his tone stop you. He was dead serious.

”Hector, that’s not true...” you began, but he interrupted you with a derisive snort.

“Oh yeah?” Hector shot back. “Then why does the media love you so much, huh? Always talking about how great you are. How you’re the best fan this team could ask for. It’s just a goddamn performance for them, and you’re their favorite clown.”

His words stung. You’d never thought of your love for the team as just a performance before. But Hector’s dismissive tone was starting to get to you.

”So I should just be unhappy all the time, is that it?” you asked, your voice growing sharper. “Just mope silently when the team loses, like you do?”

Hector winced at your words, but then his scowl returned. “At least I’m not fake,” he snarled. “I don’t pretend everything’s sunshine and rainbows just because it makes me look good on camera.”

You felt a flash of anger that he would accuse you of being fake. “Just because I’m not a miserable grouch like you doesn’t make me a fake! I love this team, and I celebrate their successes.”

Hector let out a low growl, his patience wearing thin. “You think it’s easy being this way?” he asked, his voice harsh. “You think I like bottling everything up like some kind of robot? I wish I could be like you, going around all happy all the time. But I can’t. I’ve seen too much to act like nothing bad will ever happen.”

You were just starting to respond when Fermin suddenly appeared in the doorway. Hector seized the opportunity and brushed past the other man without a backward glance.

Fermin must have sensed the tension in the air, because he gave you a quizzical look. “What was that all about?” he asked.

You shook your head, still rattled by Hector’s words. “It’s nothing,” you mumbled, not meeting Fermin’s gaze.

You hurried after Hector, your heart still pounding with frustration and bewilderment. The parking lot was mostly empty now, his teammates already having left.

You found Hector at his car, his jaw still clenched in irritation. He didn’t look up as you approached, just stood there silently, waiting.

You stood next to him, not quite sure what to say. Hector’s outburst had left you feeling both stung and puzzled. He was normally so reserved; what had set him off like this?

After a few tense seconds, he finally spoke, his voice low and quiet. “You gonna stand there all night?”

You sighed, realizing that he wasn’t about to address the argument. “No,” you replied, your tone matching his. “Are you going to keep being a jerk?”

Hector let out a humorless laugh. “No promises.”

He opened the car door and got in, leaving you standing there on the empty asphalt. This conversation wasn’t over.

The drive back to your shared home was tense and filled with awkward silence. Hector didn’t speak a word, just kept his eyes fixed on the road. You could practically feel the anger and frustration rolling off him in waves.

As you both walked up the steps to the front door, you knew the argument was far from over.

Hector stalked into the house without a word, leaving you to follow him inside. The moment you were both in the door, you decided it was time to address the issue.

”We should talk,” you said, trying to keep your voice level. “About what happened tonight.”

Hector flung his keys on the counter and turned to face you. His expression was still stormy, but he didn’t say anything. He just waited, his arms folded across his broad chest.

You took a deep breath, summoning up your courage. “You really hurt me tonight, you know,” you began, your voice firm. “With those things you said . . . accusing me of faking my emotions just to look good for the media. Do you really think that’s true?”

Hector scowled and looked away. He was silent for a few moments, as if struggling to find the right words. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and rough.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he muttered. “Not exactly. It’s just . . . it makes me mad watching you act like everything’s always so damn happy when it’s not. Like you’re not ever bothered when we lose or things go bad.”

He looked back at you, his eyes conflicted. “You don’t know what it’s like for me, to always have to be the serious one. To see how easily you smile and get along with everyone, while I just stand there and watch...” His words trailed off, leaving the rest unspoken.

Your heart softened slightly at his confession. Hector’s words made you realize that he was just as vulnerable as you, just in a different way.

After a moment’s hesitation, you took a step closer to him. “You don’t have to be that way,” you said gently. “You don’t have to always be the serious one, the one holding it all together. You can let your guard down around me, at least.”

Hector looked away again, the muscles in his jaw working. Clearly, trusting others didn’t come naturally to him. But your words had struck a chord – he didn’t pull away when you moved closer.

“It’s okay to be vulnerable,” you said quietly, taking another small step forward. You hesitatingly reached out, touching his arm – a silent offer of comfort. “You can be different with me. I’m not going to judge you.”

Hector met your gaze, a mixture of vulnerability and defensiveness in his eyes. He didn’t pull away from your touch, but he didn’t lean into it either. He just stood there, caught between the need to keep his walls up and the desire to let someone in. Your boyfriend felt like he had to bear the weight of the world alone.

“You don’t always have to play the tough guy,” you said, your voice gentle. “You don’t have to push me away.”

Hector flinched at your words, as if they had hit a nerve. But he still didn’t move away. He just stood there, his expression conflicted, his body rigid with tension.

You could sense that he was waging an internal battle against his own instincts. Hector had never been good at allowing others to get close. He was used to dealing with his emotions privately, alone and unassisted. Your relationship was testing those boundaries in ways he’d never had to face before.

Hector tensed as you reached up to touch his face, his body going instantly still. Your fingers traced the line of his chin, gently turning his head so that he was forced to meet your gaze.

He held it for a moment, his hard exterior crumbling slightly as he looked at you. He was searching your eyes, unsure whether to pull away or give in.

His shoulders sagged, the tension in his body finally releasing. Hector’s eyes were still on yours, but his tough facade was gone. Now he just looked... lost.

He didn’t resist as you gently pulled him forward, wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace. Hector let out a deep sigh, burying his face in your shoulder.

Hector clung to you tightly, his frame shaking as he let out a choked sob. He gasped out several choked apologies, his voice rough and broken.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean it... I just—“ He cut himself off with a strangled gasp.

Your heart ached at the sight of him struggling to hold himself together. You had never seen him this defensless, this desperate before. This was raw, unfiltered emotion, the kind of thing he would never let the world see.

You held him tighter, one hand gently rubbing his back. “Shh. It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it cariño.”

Hector’s tremors subsided somewhat as you pressed a gentle kiss to his head. He clutched you tighter, as if afraid you would disappear if he let go.

He was clearly struggling to deal with his emotions after holding them in for so long. It was like a dam had burst inside him, and now all the feelings he so strictly controlled were pouring out, overwhelming him.

You could feel the tension in his body fading away, replaced instead by a desperate need for comfort. He was holding onto you tightly, seeking reassurance and comfort.

You continued to hold him, running your fingers through his hair and whispering soothing words into his ear. “I’ve got you,” you murmured. “I’m here. It’s okay. Let it out.”

Hector was shaking his head, still apologizing for his outburst. “I don’t deserve you... you’re too good to me.”

You took his face in your hands, gently forcing him to look at you. “No,” you said firmly. “You don’t get to talk like that. You deserve to be loved and comforted just as much as anyone else.”

Hector let out another choked sob at your words, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Your own eyes were watering, seeing the man you loved so overwhelmed.

You gently kissed away his tears, wiping away his sorrow with your lips. “I love you,” you murmured, your voice thick with emotion. “You do deserve this. You do deserve me.”

Hector looked wrecked, his eyes red-rimmed and his face damp from crying. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. “Why do you put up with me?” he mumbled, his voice hoarse from sobbing. “I’m such a jerk sometimes.”

You smiled gently as you held him, continuing to soothe him with gentle touches. “Because I love you, you big idiot,” you replied, your voice soft. “The good parts and the bad parts. All of you.”

Hector held onto you tightly, his body still shaking but his sobs calming down. As you held each other, he finally let the words slip from his lips. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I do. I’m sorry for being such a jerk. I just . . . I don’t know how to handle all these damn feelings sometimes.”

You smiled at his confession, your heart swelling with love for this complicated man. “It’s okay,” you said softly, stroking his hair. “You don’t have to carry it all by yourself anymore, alright? I’m here. We’ll figure it out together.”

Hector looked at you with a mixture of vulnerability and neediness. His defenses were gone, his walls completely shattered. He was open and unguarded, and something about the sight tugged at your heartstrings.

You gently cupped his face in your hands and leaned in, your lips meeting his with a tender touch. The kiss was soft and unhurried, filled with all the unspoken love and reassurance you wanted to give him.

Hector responded immediately, his lips moving gently against yours. A soft sigh escaped him as he deepened the kiss, his hands finding their way to your hips, pulling you closer as if he couldn’t get enough of your touch.

You gently pulled away from the kiss, breaking the contact with a sigh. Hector looked dazed, his eyes still half-closed and his lips slightly parted. He followed your movement as you pulled back, as if unwilling to let you go.

You smiled at the sight of him, still unguardedly vulnerable as he stared up at you. “Let’s get you cleaned up baby,” you murmured, gently running a hand through his mussed hair. “You look like a mess.”

Hector managed to summon up a weak smile, his usual teasing attitude returning. “Yeah, well, that’s what happens when you make a man cry, babe.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. “Yeah, yeah, blame it on me,” you retorted, poking him playfully in the chest. “It’s definitely not because you’ve been bottling up your feelings for so long.”

Hector huffed in mock annoyance, but there was no real ire behind it – his defenses had been thoroughly broken down by your love and compassion.

As the two of you continued to tease each other, it was clear that some barriers had been lowered. Hector might never be a master at processing and expressing his own feelings, but at least he wasn’t shutting you out. For tonight, that was enough.

#hector fort #hector fort x reader #hector fort x you #fc barcelona x reader #fcb x reader #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n #marc guiu #marc guiu x reader #pablo gavi x reader

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mullermilkshake · 14 days ago

Text

Yandere Satoru Gojo

@ellavdrea

Yandere!Satoru Gojo x Reader MINORSDNI 🔞 = Tags: Yandere!Gojo, au with cursed energy, graphic depictions of violence and bodily harm, death, manipulation, physical/ psychological abuse.

Satoru had enough of your shit.

The countless obscenities and hits to his face as you thrashed around because your will simply refused to be compliant. He could take that. He did take that.

But what he couldn’t abide was your countless, albeit rare attempts to leave him.

Him. Like he was riddled with an infectious illness or something. Or perhaps he was just that unlikable that you couldn’t bare to be in the same room as him. Satoru was far more than just likeable, he could ask anyone and he’d get the answer he wanted.

He was amazing.

You just refused to see what was right in front of you because you were that stubborn.

“Get off of me!”

You pulled and tugged, clawing at the back of his hand that held so tight like you would vanish if he didn’t.

“Don’t fight this.” He said, fuming purely at the fact that this time, you almost made it impossible for him to find you. Like a mole underground who hung tight until the fox had passed.

Well, Satoru was more intelligent than a cunning fox, he was more of a blood hound and sniffing your scent drove him wild.

“I will fight this- trust me, I’ll get out again and you’ll never find me you son of a bitch!”

As clever as you thought you were, there was always a trail you left behind, no matter how faint. Whether it be a scrap of your cursed energy you didn’t know you had or just that Satoru happened to be in the right place and right time, he always found you.

It’s just that this time was a close call. And there wasn’t going to be a second chance for that to happen again.

Not ever.

Satoru yanked you close and noticed your strained wince immediately. “I’ve told you time and time again that this isn’t an option. But you never listen.”

Now Satoru couldn’t just leave you alone in the house even if he did essentially baby proof it ten times over to prevent you stepping a foot outside.

You’d find some weak point eventually like an octopus squeezing through a hole the size of its eye, you were just as slippery.

Some days he’d be out the whole day, his life still rolling over despite you waiting at home. The daily stressors of sorcerer life put his patience to a tether that almost severed with you regularly.

“I don’t listen because you’re fucking crazy-“

You managed to move your hand and swing for his face, though you knew just as well as Satoru did. His infinity around most of his body was never lowered.

Especially around you.

He didn’t react to it and pulled you down the hallway, the soles of your shoes squeaking on the wood which bellowed your temper toward him. Satoru didn’t have a temper as such, he could make you do whatever he wanted when the occasion called for it. However his strength out matched you like a bulldozer to a sheet of paper.

You were delicate and Satoru worked hard to control how much force he used so he didn’t end up doing permanent damage. But he held out in the hope that you would eventually want to do things with him without coercion or unnecessary force.

“You have no idea how shit filled the world is. You’d be begging to stay with me if you actually knew what was out there.”

To date, oddly enough you had never reacted to low level curses Satoru used to test just how much you knew about his own world.

You knew nothing, or you were an excellent liar. Either way, the only thing that was truly special about you was your cursed energy. The energy itself was unaware of its own presence.

It’s what drew him to you in the first place.

That was a year ago.

Since then it was all still a daily uphill battle.

“Bullshit would I- Satoru let me go!” Your shrill scream became raspy and broken like a tantrum from a child that compared to you acted far more mature.

So for Satoru’s own piece of mind, what you needed was a room with no windows and one door in and out.

Then he’d know where you were at all times.

Which translated to the basement.

And you hated the basement.

Though what choice did he have?

As soon as you knew where Satoru was taking you, the disgusted glare and gritted teeth switched for something far more upsetting.

“No. No, no, no, I’m not going down there!”

“You’re not giving me a choice.”

Standing in the doorway, Satoru took you by the shoulders and even pulled his blindfold down to show how serious he was. “You fight me every step of the way when I’m only trying to do well by you. There’s so much shit out there and you don’t even know how bad things can get.”

You said nothing, but your eyes were so wide they were watering. Satoru took this as a chance to continue. “I love you. And you don’t see it. I care for you, and you don’t see it. I only want what’s best for you and you don’t fucking see it.”

“And shoving me down in the basement is what’s best for me?”

Was it rhetorical? Satoru didn’t care. “Yes. It is.”

There was no way to protect yourself when you couldn’t see curses. Especially with the odd cursed energy you were emitting.

And if Suguru got a hold of you, Satoru dreaded to think.

And then as though a switch turned you back on, you struggled again. “I’m not going down there!”

“Yes you are.” He had to be careful not to hurt you.

“Fuck you!”

“You’re going down there. End of- be careful on the stairs or you’ll fall-“

“I hope I do-“

“Don’t say that.” His voice was so gruff, almost angry. You were trying his patience way too much saying things like that.

“I hope I fall and break my neck then I wouldn’t have to deal with you-“

“I said stop it… stop-“

You lost your footing, whether it was intentional, Satoru couldn’t gauge it and in his profound shock, he didn’t react in time to catch you. He watched you in slow motion and then time sped up, your pretty little neck hit every step in the way down into the dark pit of the basement void.

He blinked and registered. Moving in a blink to capture you in his arms by the third step from the bottom.

“Hey.”

You were limp, eyes closed. Your cursed energy bubbling beyond the surface like a boiling pot, nothing unusual only that you weren’t breathing.

“Wait… wake up.” He said, shaking you ever so slightly. “Wake up right now.”

It was as though you were joking, playing a game with him to get what you wanted and scare the living daylights out of him.

“Wake up right now!”

This time he shook you, teeth gritted hard together and your shattered neck jiggled your head about with his movement. Your slender neck just that little bit longer when he realised is was really broken and this wasn’t a joke of yours.

“No… wake up now.” He could’t heal you, only Shoko could do that.

Was it too late? Had death already consumed you that you would refuse to come back?

“Please… don’t leave.” His breaths were heavy, cumbersome.

And you were just lifeless.

Then, you weren’t.

It was your cursed energy that Satoru recognised, wisping about your body almost like it was weaving together. And then you twitched again, then jolted about in Satoru’s arms until you screamed right by his ear so guttural and primal that it even drew his head back from you.

Yet still he kept a hold of you, eyes wider than they had ever been and in shock at your reanimation.

Until now, Satoru had never seen anything like it. Suguru would most definitely dig his claws into you so deep if he realised just how special you had become in just a matter of seconds. A matter of seconds and everything had just changed. Your need for protection and risk factors had risen exponentially.

Satoru was sure you were still human too and not like the undead he had seen in movies. You were still… you, from what he could tell.

You huffed and heaved and coughed against him, opening your eyes with such panic took Satoru’s breath away from his chest as he held it. The fabric of his shirt squeezed between the joints of your fingers as though you would never let go.

Like you needed him.

You actually needed him.

“Hey- wait it’s alright. I’ve got you.” Satoru held you close and for just a minute, you leant into him and sobbed.

“I’m here, baby.”

Satoru shouldn’t have said that. You glared up at him with a face full of thunder, pushing away from him in an instant. “You fucking pushed me, you monster!”

He initially blinked at your sudden furious gaze, but got a hold of your wrists quick enough before you could through them around.

“I didn’t push you. You slipped-“

“Like hell I did- how am I even talking right now? You pushed me and it hurt!”

How on earth was your cursed energy so volatile that it repaired you without your say on reverse curse technique? You healed yourself at an exceptional rate and were none the wiser to it.

“I didn’t push you, do you hear me?” Taking you by the shoulders seemed to stop the messy haze you were in. “I would never do that.”

But this incident got you clinging to him like he was your favourite person in the world, even if it was just for a minute.

One minute was more time than you had bothered to give Satoru. Ever.

That minute alone would have been enough to get him by for the next few hours before he would want it again, going down a slippery slope he had inevitably opened without realising.

Your voice was broken. “You did- you did do it.”

“I didn’t.”

“Get away from me!”

“I didn’t fucking push you.”

You really weren’t going to let go of this, were you? Even experiencing something as traumatic as you just did.

“Oh really? Then why did I see you just looking at me as I fell and you left me there unconscious!

You didn’t even know the extent of your injuries.

A little spark ignited in his head when he saw how distressed you were. Satoru could use this to his advantage. It was sick, but perhaps this was his way to put an end to your bratty attitude. That feral flame needed extinguishing.

“If you think that I would intentionally hurt you, then you don’t know me at all.”

Your anger shifted back to that of upset and distress, sobbing over your words and gripping a hold of his shirt more aggressively.

“I don’t, that’s the point. I-I don’t want to know you and I don’t want to be here. I want to go home and have a normal life without you lurking around every corner and breathing down my neck all the time!”

This wasn’t unexpected news to Satoru, yet it hurt just as much as if it was. Were you really that repulsed by his presence? Satoru found himself questioning everything and that little poisonous thought burrowed deeper into his brain like a parasite.

If you were unaware then it could be used against you. ‘I wouldn’t ever do that…’ those words held less meaning than when they were spoken aloud.

And if you were to fall down those stairs again, it was entirely logical that you would look at Satoru that way again and sob into his chest.

“Get up.” He said, his expression dropping to numb his horrid thoughts.

Everything had changed. Everything had gotten far darker than he even could have imagined. Your eyes were wide, almost deer like with anticipation of his response.

“Get up.” Satoru softened his tone and it seemingly worked enough to allow you to your feet. So there was no issue with your joints either after taking damage from the impact.

Satoru took to the steps first and waited. Waited until you reached the top behind him all timid and silent.

Then he pushed you.

Your body hitting each step like before and your cursed energy working its way around the body and clicked everything back into place.

He wondered what else your body could take and whether he really had to hold back and be gentle with you anymore.

After that, each time you reanimated, you clung to Satoru just that fraction longer. Every time a slither of your will broke and soon enough, you would be compliant enough to have the privilege of being left on your own again.

In time.

EDIT: ALSO forgot to add, if you’d like anymore Yandere Satoru Gojo or other characters please check out my AO3 where I post all my long stuff and one shots like “sealed fate” which is exclusively Yandere/ dark one shots.

Take care!!

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #x reader #reader insert #yandere #yandere jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #yandere satoru gojo #yandere satoru x reader #gojo jjk #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader

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ruewrote · 26 days ago

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𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛.

PAIRING: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader WARNINGS: ignorance, no use of y/n GENRE: angst SONG INSPIRATION: keep that to yourself by tristan WORD COUNT: 1.5k

navigation | ask | boku no hero academia masterlist

you were done. completely, utterly done. you weren’t about to keep bending over backwards for someone who couldn’t be bothered to meet you halfway.

katsuki had been late to dinner before, hell, he’d been late to everything since the day you started dating him, but tonight was different. the irritation had been building for weeks and all it took was the sound of him slamming through the door without so much as a greeting to set you off.

you didn’t look up from your phone as he stormed in, his hero gear clattering onto the couch. every time he came in late, you used to ask him how his day went, try to ease his mood, but you were tired of this petty routine. you weren’t his emotional punching bag nevermind his damn therapist.

so you stayed silent, continuing to scroll through your feed, ignoring him as thoroughly as he’d been ignoring you. you didn’t even bother setting the table. he could find his own damn plate if he cared that much.

“long day?” you finally asked, your voice flat, barely caring enough to acknowledge him.

“yeah,” bakugou grunted, not even sparing you a glance as he rummaged through the fridge for something to drink. “like usual.”

you raised an eyebrow, glancing at the cold, untouched dinner you’d made hours ago, just sitting there on the counter. he didn’t ask about it. didn’t even ask if you’d eaten. typical.

after slamming the fridge door shut, he chugged half a bottle of water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and started back off towards the door again.

“where are you going?” you asked, voice sharp.

he paused but didn’t turn around. “gotta train,” he said over his shoulder, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

your jaw clenched. of course.

you exhaled slowly, keeping your voice calm despite the rising anger. “you just got home and now you’re leaving again?”

bakugou finally turned to face you, his eyebrows knitted together in irritation. “i can’t slack off. i gotta get stronger, you know this.”

you laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “right. because that’s all that matters, huh?”

he glared at you. “what the hell’s your problem? i’m doing what i normally do.”

“can you just stay with me? just this once?”

“you know i can't.”

you stood up from the couch, setting your phone down with more force than necessary. “i’m not asking you to slack off. i’m asking you to actually treat me like i exist. but sure, go ahead. go and train. clearly, it’s more important than me.”

bakugou scowled, clearly not expecting a fight tonight. “don’t start with this shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “i’m busting my ass out there, doing what i need to do. i don’t have time to coddle you.”

your eyes narrowed, the final thread of your patience snapping. coddle? is he serious?

you stepped forward, staring him down. “i’m not asking you to coddle me, katsuki. i’m asking you to give a damn. you come in late, don’t say a word, leave without even acknowledging me, do you even realize how selfish you’re being?”

he rolled his eyes, clearly getting annoyed. “i’m selfish? you’re the one whining because i’ve got real shit to do. you know what it’s like out there, so why the hell are you making this about you?”

the arrogance, the complete lack of awareness, it was almost laughable. but you weren’t laughing. you were done holding your tongue. done waiting for him to magically understand.

“no, katsuki,” you said, voice cold. “you’re the one making this about you. it’s always about you. your work, your training, your goals. meanwhile, i’m here, putting up with your bullshit, and i don’t get so much as a thank you.”

he opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off.

“y’know what?” you snapped, crossing your arms. “i don’t need this. i don’t need you. you’re so damn convinced that you’re doing me a favor just by being in my life, but here’s a reality check, i’m here because i choose to be. not because i have to. i’m not some trophy girlfriend who’s just going to stick around while you treat me like shit and if you think that then you’re fucking wrong.”

bakugou's eyes flashed with anger, his fists clenching at his sides. “i don’t need to deal with this right now.”

you stared at him for a long moment, your chest tightening with a surge of cold. for a second, you’d almost expected him to fight for you. but this? this was all he had to offer you?

“okay.”

you turned on your heel and started walking toward the bedroom, your movements calm and deliberate. you didn’t slam the door. didn’t shout or cry or plead. just…walked away.

“wait, what the hell are you doing?” his voice echoed from behind you, but you didn’t stop. didn’t even look back.

bakugou stayed rooted to the spot, watching you disappear down the hallway. there was something different about you tonight, something that made his chest tighten with the slightest hint of unease. you didn’t yell at him. didn’t hurl insults or throw anything. just a simple, calm okay.

that wasn’t normal. that wasn’t you.

bakugou cursed under his breath, stalking after you, but when he reached the bedroom door, he froze.

you were packing. calmly, methodically, pulling clothes out of drawers and folding them into a suitcase. your movements were so deliberate, so precise, like you weren’t even upset. like you’d already made up your mind.

“oi.” his voice came out rough, harsher than he intended. “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

you didn’t even look up. “i’m leaving, katsuki.”

he blinked, staring at you like you’d just slapped him. “the fuck you are,” he growled, stepping into the room. “you’re not goin’ anywhere.”

you didn’t respond, simply continuing to pack your things. each item folded with care, each movement speaking louder than any argument you could’ve had. you weren’t making a scene. you were making a statement.

bakugou’s heart started to pound in his chest, he wasn’t used to this. you were always the one who’d argue, push him, try to get him to open up. but this quiet, collected version of you? it scared the hell out of him.

“i’m serious,” he said, voice wavering slightly. “stop.”

you paused for a moment, glancing over at him with cold, detached eyes. “why should i?”

he opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. he didn’t have an answer. not one that would make sense. not one that didn’t sound selfish as hell.

you let out a soft, bitter laugh, shaking your head. “that’s what i thought.”

bakugou stood there, frozen, his mind racing. you weren’t bluffing. he could see it in the way you moved, in the way you didn’t hesitate. you were serious. dead serious.

“damn it,” he muttered, stepping forward. “look, just…stop for a second. we can talk about this.”

you shook your head, zipped up the suitcase and dragged it off of the bed. “i already tried talking. you didn’t listen.”

“oi, i listen–”

“no, katsuki,” you interrupted, your voice sharp now. “you don’t. i’ve been telling you for weeks how i feel, and you’ve ignored me. i’ve waited, and waited, and all you’ve done is prove that i don’t matter. that this doesn’t matter.”

his eyes widened, panic flickering across his face. “that’s not–”

“it is,” you snapped, your voice finally cracking with anger. “and you know what? i’m done waiting for you to figure it out. i’m done trying to prove to you that i deserve better.”

bakugou’s breath hitched, you were actually going to leave. he could see it now. see the determination in your eyes, the way you didn’t even hesitate.

“wait– just…wait,” he muttered, stepping closer, his hands hovering uselessly at his sides.

“don’t go.”

you sighed, your eyes softening just a fraction. “give me one good reason why i should stay.”

he opened his mouth, but for the first time in his life, words failed him. his usual arrogance, his stubborn pride, it all felt so small, so insignificant in the face of losing you.

“i…” he swallowed hard, his voice hoarse. “i need you.”

you raised an eyebrow, but didn’t move, waiting for him to continue.

“i know i’m a shitty boyfriend sometimes,” he admitted, his voice low, barely above a whisper. “but i need you. i just…i didn’t realize how much until now.”

you stood there for a long moment, eyes locked with his, weighing his words. he looked so uncharacteristically vulnerable, so desperate, like he was finally starting to understand.

“i’ll do better,” he added quickly, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “i swear, i’ll try harder. just…don’t leave.”

silence hung heavy in the air, the weight of his words sinking in.

finally, you exhaled, shoulders slumping slightly. “no,” you said firmly, looking him in the eyes.

“you should’ve done better, katsuki. i’ve been giving you all these chances, and you threw them away. you don’t get to promise me better after treating me like i’m practically invisible.”

he blinked, stepping forward. “but i’m saying i’ll change–”

you cut him off. “it’s too late.”

"i may be the one that's leaving but you're the one that walked out on us."

with one final glance, you grabbed your suitcase and walked out the door.

and this time, katsuki didn’t stop you.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

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sinstear · 4 months ago

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ㅤ❝ 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 ❞

designer!abby spends all her time, or as much time as she possibly can in her shop, making sure everything is perfect, nothing out of place, or untidy that will annoy her and send her into a spiral of stress. her blue bright eyes always doing double glances at the mannequins in the window and around the room, displayed with old and new designs. some that took her hours, meanwhile some that she spent months perfecting. the small details that had her hands hurting and fingers cramping with the amount of patience and time she spent crafting what was once a rough sketch in her many books, to real life.

the lights make it more beautiful as she just leans her body on the counter, and takes everything in. this was her life. something that started out as a hobby one day in her childhood, and has become her job. small diamonds embroidered around the waistband of the new design she came up with, a slim silk dress, that sparkles when the light catches perfectly, her lips curve up into a smile and she can’t help but giggle. she did that.

designer!abby completely spaces out during measurements. her fingers work delicately against the fabric, her glasses slip down to the bridge of her nose, flyaway hairs sticking to her forehead, skin glistening with sweat, and a sweet hum of something she hears on the radio fills the subtle silence. too into making something new that she didn’t even register the ding of the bell above the door ringing when someone walked in. didn’t even feel the cold rush of air as her brows furrowed and tongue poked out from the corner of her mouth, deep in thought.

well, that was until the soft sound of someone clearing their throat behind her made her turn around.

turning around … more like dropping her scissors and holding her chest in panic. not aware anyone was in here. the glasses on her nose slip more as she pants like she just ran a fucking marathon.

“sorry, sorry! i didn’t mean to scare you. you just looked really focused, didn’t want to ruin it” they apologized quickly, holding a hand over their mouth to stop the giggles that came out when abby slumped against the counter with a small nod. “m’sorry”

a crimson blush coats the apples of her cheeks before she can stop it, the warmth in her skin is so hot that she feels like she’s going to burst into flames any second. “s’okay” the blonde giggled nervously, pulled her glasses off and slipped them into the pocket of her jacket before clearing her throat. “can i help you with anything?”

“i’ve always been too scared to come in here”

she knows, she sees you looking through the window everyday, or mostly everyday. she doesn’t have to ask to know who you are. you’re all over the tv, the internet, with your gorgeous dresses and different pieces of jewelry at each event you attend. but she doesn’t say anything, she just politely smiles and tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “you’re always welcome to come in, you know?”

“everything in here is just so pretty, and you are precise with everything. quite perfect” you whispered, too scared to say it louder in case you scared her.

“it’s not, m’not that good” abby stammered, cheeks flushing a darker red at the praise.

“bullshit, i’ve seen what you do. read every article about the new designs you’ve come up with. everything you make is perfect. m’too scared to buy anything because your designs are so detailed, so creative and beautiful. i admire them. i admire you”

turning around to hide her blush, the blonde cleared her throat again and carefully placed her scissors and measuring tape back in her small sewing kit. your words had her feeling like a teenager, too scared to say or do anything that might make her make a fool of herself. so she stuck with simple, “is there anything you want to try on?”

“i noticed your jewellery. i really like the silver diamond necklace you made”

“oh?” her voice cracked slightly, suddenly too nervous. her body turned around slowly to find you a lot closer than before. “do you want you try it on?”

“yes, please”

you studied abby as she made her way behind the counter, huffing and grumbling under her breath about something along the lines of i really need to tidy up around here before looking up, a silent okay for you to come over. thankfully you haven’t noticed the deep blush she’s been sporting since you opened your mouth and watched you place your purse on the glass and looked at all the jewellery with wide, yet sparkly eyes.

“people tend to go for the clothes, the necklaces? not so much” she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders lightly as she carefully placed the necklace on the counter beside your purse. eyeing you up subtly.

before you could pick it up, abby was already sighing and shaking her head. “what’s wrong?” your voice soft and sultry like honey.

“sorry, i just don’t think silver would work”

“why?”

“i think gold would suit you better. it brings out the brightness of your eyes, and it would look really pretty on you” abby really? she scolded herself while you looked away with a shy smile. “m’sorry, i don’t usually tell people what they should and shouldn’t wear”

“do you think so? the gold?”

“of course”

the next few minutes slowed down for you both, one minute she was admiring you from behind the counter and the next she was standing right behind you, placing the necklace around your neck and clasping it together. her blush returns quite quickly at the sound of your breath hitching in your throat once her fingers graze your skin, soft and gentle to the touch.

“how does it look?” you asked, breaking the utter silence that surrounded you both. her eyes were glued to the necklace around your neck when you spun around to get her opinion. this time you spotted the blush on her face and giggled at her. “does it look okay?”

“s’really pretty” abby nodded quickly, unaware of the way you were smiling at her. “it suits you much better than the silver. it goes really well with your eyes, like i said, gold brings out the brightness of them” she smiled, fumbling with the fabric of her jacket sleeve.

“thank you. how much is it?”

“oh, no. consider it my gift to you” the blonde choked out, were you really doing this, abby? pushing your purse away when you went to grab it. “please, take it”

looking at her for a few seconds, you nodded reluctantly with another shy smile. “okay, thank you. really. i promise to keep it safe”

“you’re welcome, and i hope you do” abby smiled, palms suddenly sweaty as she watched you slip your bag over your shoulder and brush your hands down your dress. “i hope you have a really good day” really?

“thank you,” you laughed and held your hand over your mouth. “i hope you do too, abigail”

designer!abby who can’t help but blush and giggle like a goddamn teenager, finally, when that same night you post a picture of the same necklace she gave you, with her account tagged on your social media. orders upon orders coming through her emails quicker than she could keep up with.

#designer!abby #abby anderson #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson drabble

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breadbrobin · 11 months ago

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skipping stones

clarisse la rue x reader — percy jackson and the olympians

summary: it’s been a rough day for you, and clarisse doesn’t know how to help, as much as she wants to try

warnings: none really, just fluff and a little sad slander oops, oh and maybe slightly ooc clarisse as always

word count: 783

(hiiii it’s been a minute. i wrote this after skipping stones at a river for like an hour while my friend sat around next to me and i wanted someone to support me in my skipping endeavours so here we are)

————————————————

clarisse could always find you skipping stones.

you weren’t good at it. hell, you were even bad at it. but that never stopped you.

you’d told her once that it kept you closer to your family, since you hadn’t been able to get back to them since coming to camp two years ago, and you missed them more than words could describe.

she wasn’t even sure how it happened; how you became her best friend at camp, and she became yours, despite your differences.

where she was hard, you were soft. where she was cruel, you were kind. and where she was cold, you were as warm as any fire she’d ever known. warmer, even.

she didn’t even know when those feelings had shifted—from indifference to care, from friendship to love—but it didn’t really matter. what did matter was she could always find you skipping stones. and that’s exactly where you were.

she sat next to you on the shore, staring out at the long island sound ahead of her. you were looking down at the rocks, no doubt searching for your next ones to skip. your knees were bent and pulled to your chest with your arm under your thighs to lean forward. she couldn’t help but smile. if anyone saw she’d be made fun of, but with you, she didn’t care too much. she picked up a flat stone by her foot and nudged you.

you looked up at her with a smile, taking the stone and preparing to skip it. “thanks.” this one skipped maybe three times. she wasn’t really paying attention. her eyes were on your face, mapping your features, the light freckles, the crease between your eyebrows as you searched for another stone. she was watching your hands as you weighed two up before choosing one. she was staring at your lips, seeing them pout, press together, curl into a slight smile as the stone skipped.

“what’s wrong?” she asked.

“do you wanna try?” you extended a flat stone to her, about half the size of her palm. she was tempted to take it and put it in her pocket.

but she shook her head. “i’ve never had enough patience to learn to skip stones. you know that.”

“i do,” you nodded, your lips pressed together again. gods, what she wouldn’t give for those lips to be pressed against hers. “worth a shot.”

you skipped it, pouting as it crashed through a small wave and disappeared into the sea.

“what’s wrong?” clarisse asked again. “you can’t avoid the question forever, n/n.”

“yes, i can,” you said, skipping another rock.

“no. i won’t let you. what is it? did someone mess with you? i’ll kill them—“

you cut her off by laughing. “no, clarisse! no one messed with me, and please don’t commit any crimes in my name.”

“yours is the only name i’d ever commit crimes in,” she said firmly. you believed her. “now, tell me what’s wrong.”

you sighed and looked out at the grey horizon. it wasn’t a beautiful day, but it was warm for early spring and it hadn’t rained yet. “my dad called camp. he wants me to come home.”

“i thought your dad didn’t know where you were.”

“so did i.”

it was silent.

“so, what? he sent you away? that’s bullshit!”

“yeah,” you didn’t drag your eyes from the horizon. your knuckles were tight around a stone in your grip. “it is.”

her red-hot anger died in her throat as she saw your face and the blatant hurt on it. she wasn’t good at comforting people. she was actually really bad. it was easy to comfort clarisse: just let her yell about it and punch things until she feels better. but you… she’d seen you upset before, but never defeated. you looked defeated.

she was stumped.

“do you… do you need, like, a hug?” she offered awkwardly.

a snort escaped your lips. “a hug?”

“yeah! i mean… what do you need? how can i help you?” she asked, trying to save face.

you paused, turning your gaze to look at her face. “a hug would be nice, yeah.”

she scooted closer and wrapped her arms around you. she was worried it’d be awkward, that you’d both be tense and uncomfortable and it would be terrible, but you settled into her arms like you were made to be there. and god you were warm. it was like hugging someone who’d just gotten out of the drier.

“and if this doesn’t help we can throw rocks in the sea and yell about how angry we are,” she suggested after a moment. “that always helps me.”

she took your laughter as a good sign.

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #dior goodjohn

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luxurychristmaspudding · 6 months ago

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The Immortals | On Call

summary: frankie tells the boys about you.

pairing: neighbour!frankie morales x f!reader. platonic triple frontier boys (minus tom lol)

ratings/warnings: 18+, MDNI. mostly frankie pov. beers and a bbq. description of a panic attack. the boys shipping the bis.

wc: 2.7k

an: one more little thing before we send these guys off into the sunset <3 p.s. - apologies if you saw this last night - i posted it real late and then decided i hated it this morning lmao. thank you for your patience <3

series masterlist | main masterlist

divider from @saradika-graphics

Arrived safely! Margarita secured!

It’s the last text he has from you, accompanied by a photo of said cocktail held up next to your face as you grin at the camera, eyes lit warmly by the sun. He’s smiling at it, tapping out a fat-thumbed, slow response with the tongs in his other hand, distracted from the grill. So focused on you, he almost doesn’t notice Santi saunter up beside him. Almost, but by then it’s too late anyway.

He looks up at Will’s I swear to god, Fish, if you burn those sausages one more time- just as his phone is snatched from his hand, Pope lurching away as he tries to grab it back.

‘Oh!’ the shorter man yells, ‘I’ve got it! I know why he’s so dis-’ before Frankie yanks the device away from him.

‘Knock it off,’ he grumbles, a little gruffer than he means it to be, but Pope only smiles wider, eyes full of mischief. Frankie stuffs the phone back in his pocket, and miles and miles away, you watch the tiny bubbles of a reply disappear before turning back to your friends.

‘Who is she?’ Santi goads, stepping closer to nudge him with his elbow. ‘Hot date?’

Frankie shakes his head, the tips of his ears warming.

‘Who’s who?’ Will asks from his chair, eyebrow raised as he takes a pull from his beer.

‘No- nothing.’ Frankie says, but his cheeks are aflame as he squints into the smoke of the barbeque. Santi notices, because of course he fucking does, pinching Frankie’s cheek as he coos -

‘Aw, come on, hermano. Who’s the lucky lady?’

Frankie lands a sharp elbow to his ribs, muttering a Fuck off, Pope, and Santi pulls away with a croak.

‘What are we talking about? Who’s Frankie seeing?’ Will pipes up again.

‘Pretty lady’s sent Frankie a selfie,’ Santi grunts, massaging his side. ‘I wanna know who it is.’

Frankie grits his teeth. They know about you - of course they do. They knew about you from the moment you’d moved in. The cool new neighbour, the teacher, the new best friend, the babysitter. And they’d wanted to meet you. Smiling over the stories Frankie would tell them, replying to the pictures he’d send them of cookies, hama beads, Lego cities.

‘We’re just friends,’ he says.

The air is still for a moment before Will snorts.

‘Bullshit.’

Frankie flips him off as Pope looses a gleeful chuckle, returning to his seat and his beer.

‘We’ll wait,’ he says, ‘Plenty of time.’

Benny catches the end of it as he emerges from the back door, hopping down the porch steps with a fresh crate of beers in his hands.

‘Time for what?’ He asks, dropping the box on the grass and cracking one open before bringing it to Frankie.

‘Jesus Christ,’ he groans, taking it from the younger man with a grumbled thank you as he turns back to the grill.

Will and Santi are laughing, watching each other with sparkling eyes over the fire pit.

‘Time for what?’ Benny asks again, looking between the men.

‘Frankie’s got a lady friend. We’re trying to find out who it is.’

Benny swings back around to look at him, eyebrows high on his forehead as a slow smile spreads across his face.

‘Oh?’ He grins, ‘Come on, Fish. We’re all friends here.’

Frankie shakes his head again, eyes fixed on the sausages.

‘She’s not - it’s not - it’s not like that.’

‘So you’re fucking?’

Frankie whirls round to Santi.

‘Pope.’ He hisses, brandishing the tongs at him. Santi holds up his hands.

‘Then what?’

Frankie sighs, lowering the flame on the grill.

‘That’s the neighbour,’ he says, throwing a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of your house. ‘It’s her.’

They’re quiet. Too quiet.

‘That’s your neighbour?’ Pope says, dumbfounded.

‘Yes.’

‘But she’s -’

‘I know.’

Will shoots Santi a confused look.

‘Way too good looking for our Fish, here.’

Benny points a finger at him, settling down in his seat the same time as Frankie.

‘I’m taking that personally.’

‘Good.’ Will says. ‘Now, show us a proper picture, asshole.’

Frankie runs a hand over his face, cheeks burning. There’s a funny feeling in his gut - guilt, nerves, excitement. He looks them all over before Santi slaps his knee.

‘Come on, cabròn. We’ve heard so much about her.’

So he shows them. Pictures of you and Lucia, you and him. Ones he took without you realising, moments where he just couldn’t help himself. And his favourite - you on his porch, beaming and squinting at the sunset. Warm and tired and beautiful after the beach, a single strawberry lace dangling from your fingers.

It makes Will chuckle, Benny smile. Santi lets out a low whistle.

‘So there she is.’ Will says, and Frankie can only grin back. His eyes are sparkling, cheeks tinged with pink. The blonde man cocks his head at him. ‘You like her.’

Frankie shrugs.

‘You really like her.’

It’s quiet again for a moment, only the crackle of firewood to be heard.

‘So. Are you fucking?’

The question earns Pope a sharp smack up the back of the head from Benny, Will shooting a Santiago across the flames. But all three of their faces turn back to Frankie.

He looks up to the heavens.

‘No,’ he says. ‘She had that breakup last year. And I don’t even think she’s into me like that.’

Benny laughs into his beer, taking a pull before speaking.

‘No offence,’ he says, ‘But you wouldn’t know someone liked you if it hit you across the face.’

Will snorts, jerking his head in his brother's direction.

‘He should know.’

Frankie groans, leaning back in his chair, scrubbing at his cheeks.

‘She drew the picture on your fridge.’ Benny says. It’s a statement, not a question. Frankie nods. ‘I think she likes you.’

‘You could tell from a picture?’ Will snarks, and Benny rolls his eyes.

‘She drew ‘em all close together. So she either likes you or just - I dunno - likes you. Actually, maybe I have no idea.’

Pope chuckles.

‘Miller, you are a true wordsmith.’

‘Yeah, yeah. Fuck off, Casanova.’

Still laughing, Santi knocks his beer against Frankie’s. He meets his eye.

‘Make sure she can come next time,’ Pope says, and Frankie pulls a face. ‘I’m serious. We’ve been waiting ages to meet her. She sounds cool. She sounds really fun -’

‘And we’ll help you work out whether she likes you or not.’ Will finishes. Frankie looks down at his feet, his shoes in the grass. He fiddles with the label on his bottle, thinks of what it would be like to have you here. Have you laughing at the jokes, swapping stories with the boys. Have Santi teaching you how to dance, have you sharing a whisky with Will, fucking around on the grill with Benny. And he’s sure they’d love you. So sure, in his heart, that it makes his stomach twist. His worlds blending together, the people he loves most in one place. You’d fit, as snuggly here, as you have next door.

‘I’ll ask her,’ he says, ‘When you come over next month. School will be out by then.’

When he looks up, Benny is smiling at him.

‘I’m looking forward to meeting her.’ He says.

He smiles back, all shy and excited, before Will clears his throat and nods in the direction of the barbeque.

‘Sausages better not be burning again, lover boy.’

The sausages are well-done, but edible. Frankie takes his time bringing them to the table, making sure to finally send you that text back.

You deserve it. Have fun, stay safe.

Your little face above it, grinning at him. The sight of it makes his heart swell - his heart hopeful. He scrolls back, above his safe travels text, to the last one you sent, also with a picture. Lucia’s stuffed whale - plush, pale blue, tucked up in the guest bed upstairs.

She’s given me a little friend in case I get lonely. Think I should take the hint?

He’d laugh-reacted to it at the time, in the midst of completing his paperwork for the evening before dashing back home. But now he wonders if there was more to it, a question he should have been brave enough to answer.

He can barely remember the blur and flash of the streetlights as he’d carved his way through the streets, the quiet of easing his way inside the house. You’d left the hallway lamp on so he wouldn’t trip over the array of shoes by the door, and he’d added his boots to them, right next to your trainers.

The door had been locked, all lights off within seconds, before he’d crept up the stairs. The house silent and still around him, warmth right in the belly of his home. He’d checked on Lucia first. Cocooned in her duvet, only her face visible. Soft cheeks plump against her toy dog, her fingers curled around its scruffy neck as she breathed easily and deeply. Her book of bedtime stories on the dresser, dog-eared at the place where you’d finished reading to her. Her nightlight on, she’d smelled of lavender when he’d crouched to kiss her forehead, breathing in her curls.

He’d stopped at the guest room next. Opened the door a crack to make sure you were okay, only hoping in the smallest way that you were still awake. Instead, he’d been greeted with the slope of your shoulders, covered by the t-shirt he’d insisted you borrow, the tangle of your hair. The way your leg was crooked at an angle, your hand beside your face on the pillow. Cheek smushed against the cotton as he watched your breathing, the sweet lax of your face as you slept.

Something warmed in his stomach when he saw that you were, indeed, cuddling the whale Lucia had given you. It pulled at the strings of his memory, something you’d told him about sleeping with a stuffed animal into your late teens. He’d smiled. And then he went to bed.

He doesn’t remember what the dream was about.

Could only see bursts of fire, darkness - could only hear shots and screams. Could only feel a deep, spiralling panic; a void that waits deep inside him, that creeps and bleeds sometimes into the night.

And then he was awake.

Shivering, covered in sweat, his breathing heavy and ragged. Heart beating so fast he clawed desperately at his chest, trying to squeeze it, trying to silence it.

And you were there.

Sat in front of him in his t-shirt, face taught with worry, hands out like you were approaching an animal.

Frankie, it’s me. It’s me, baby, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re at home, you’re safe. You were dreaming. You were dreaming.

It was like he couldn’t see you at first. Eyes blank and wild, body heaving, pulling against the sheets wrapped around his legs. You’d stood to pull them off, to free him, still speaking in that soft, gentle tone. It’s me, you’re safe.

You’d pulled his scrabbling hands from his chest and he’d let you, let you hold one tight as the other dropped away, as you’d placed your other palm to his heart. And fuck, it was going so fast. So fast you wanted to cry with worry, with the need to take this blind panic from him. You’d kept it there, firm, looking into his eyes, still speaking, waiting for him to come back. Trusting that he would.

And then there he was. Still sweaty, still gasping, but there was clarity. Recognition. His fingers slipped against yours before gripping them, clinging to them like you were pulling him out of it, out of some dark, faraway place.

I’ve got you. It’s me, you’re okay.

He’d nodded. Mouth trying to form his reply - okay, okay - Bug? - like he was pleading. You’d moved closer, hand sliding from his chest to his shoulder, and it was like his whole body surrendered. Shuddering as you held him close, as he cried with relief, with shame.

Everything he hid from Vanessa, everything he tried to hide from Benny, spilling and unspooling before you, and yet you didn’t flinch. Didn’t even bat an eye.

You’d sat up with him most of the night. Talking it through. The blood, the bullets, the guilt. The drugs. What happened in Colombia, everything he hadn’t told you, told anyone. You held him through the shakes, box breathing together until his heart rate slowed.

You’d stayed. Quiet and warm, solid against him, an arm wrapped around his waist.

He could never usually sleep after a nightmare. But he did with the soft sweep of your fingers on his forehead.

When he woke, you were gone. A sorrowful feeling in his chest, one which tugged at his lips. Fixed as soon as you knocked on his door with tea, when you sat next to him and ran your fingers through his curls.

He pulled you down next to him, holding you tight to his body, staring up at the ceiling.

‘I’m sorry.’ He’d said.

‘Don’t ever be sorry, Frankie.’ You’d breathed into his chest.

He didn’t need to know how you cried in the guest room after you’d left him. Didn’t need to know how much it hurt watching him hurt, doesn’t need to know about the guilt, the gratitude you feel every time he picks you up and pieces you together. Doesn’t need to know how you’ve worried you won’t ever be able to do the same for him.

He doesn’t know how you laid beside him in agony for hours. Scared to leave, scared to stay. How you’d longed to lay there with him, but feared it would be too much to wake up beside him. Wondered whether you were weird for thinking it would be too much, knowing you’d think nothing of it if he were someone else.

And you don’t know how he pulled the pillow you rested on closer, inhaled the scent. How he dreamed of kissing you awake.

The logs crackle in the fire pit, the only light in the garden bar the string lights looped through the trees back to the porch.

It’s been quiet for a while, though he can still hear Pope and Will in the kitchen, chattering about some baseball game. Benny clears his throat from the chair beside him.

‘I’m happy for you.’

It shouldn't do, but it surprises him. In the years that have passed since the heartbreak between them, Frankie has only ever wanted good things for the man he loved.

He should have known Benny would feel the same.

He shakes his head.

‘Ben, we don’t even know if -’

Benny holds up a hand.

‘Regardless,’ he says, ‘I’m happy for you, Fish. I’m so - glad you have her next door. And I really hope it turns into something.’

Frankie swallows, a knot pulling tight in his throat.

‘I’ve got a good feeling about it.’

He chuckles.

‘Thank you.’

Benny smiles, the firelight glinting in his eyes. Still handsome, just not the person meant for him.

‘How does she make you feel?’

Frankie shoots him a look, and he shrugs.

‘I have a theory. Humour me.’

Fish rolls his eyes, but the answer is easy. He says it into the flames.

‘Safe. Warm. Good.’

Important. Loved. Understood.

He lets the words hang there for a moment, wishing you were here. Wishing for you to come through the front door right now and never leave.

When he turns his head, Benny is looking at him with the gentlest smile he’s ever seen. It makes his throat burn, his eyes water.

‘Do I get to know the theory?’

Benny shakes his head, picking at his bottle label, that small smile still there. He takes a deep breath.

‘I don’t know how she feels about you. Not yet. But, Frankie - I’m glad you found each other.’

It lands right in his heart, the goodness that it’s delivered with. And he thinks Benny’s right.

Obviously right - you mean so much more than he could ever have imagined. But you found each other. Led, perhaps, by things he hasn’t always believed in. Fate, stars, ghosts. Everything that came before that didn’t fit quite right - Vanessa, Benny, Annie. Parts of wholes who loved parts of wholes.

But he knows, knew from that moment on his porch after the beach - that huge, swooping feeling - that he loves you, wholly.

That he understands, now, just how much good two people can do for each other.

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales #pedro pascal fanfiction #francisco morales #francisco morales x you #francisco morales x reader #fic: on call

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wendytestabrat · 7 months ago

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why kyle actually knows how to help cartman and heidi doesn’t

i swear this wholeass special is a PERFECT example on why kyman works and heiman doesn’t lol. like ya’ll remember when heidi tried to help with cartman’s weight by making him go vegan, and then cartman retaliated back at her by making her gain weight? well in “the end of obesity”, we see kyle going full boyfriend mode trying to help cartman with his weight and cartman is cooperative as hell abt it and listens to kyle. like idek how people can say cartman is the abusive one at this point bc there are a lot of aspects of their dynamic where kyle is the one who takes charge and dominates which he did in this episode lol. and i also feel like kyle did a WAYYY better job than heidi trying to find a weight loss solution cartman would be ok with. kyle knows damn well that if he were to try to get cartman to go on a diet like heidi did, that would NOT work. he knows cartman well enough to know cartman can’t stand vegans and would never eat that crap lol. so yeah i feel like kyle did a good job of rlly taking cartman’s feelings into consideration and trying to help him in a way that ACTUALLY WORKS that he wants to be helped with. i also feel like kyle was waiting for a moment where cartman wanted to HELP HIMSELF and would be appreciative about it. i’m sure kyle rlly appreciated seeing cartman genuinely concerned and upset about his weight in that beginning scene where cartman was crying abt being fat, so yeah ofc kyle pounced on that opportunity lol. something else i loved abt this episode is it showed how truly patient kyle is with cartman LOL. like when they were on that wholeass navigating the healthcare system montage the fact that kyle did NOT give up and kept taking cartman from one place to the next to fill out all those forms even though it was annoying and tedious was admirable af. this is something i’ve ranted abt A LONGASS time ago abt how everyone acts like kyle is easily irritated and annoyed with cartman, when in reality he has more patience for his bullshit than any other character and is willing to spend long periods of time with him when the other characters won’t. so yeah HEIDI COULD NEVER. kyle was working his ass off to find a rational solution that could help with his weight, wheras heidi just gave up right away when the first thing she tried didn’t work. i also feel like i have to point out how much i loved how touchy and feely and possessive kyle got in this special, which just further adds more validity to the jelly kyle theory (which rlly isn’t a theory bc it’s true) we had during the heiman drama back in seasons 20-21. like yeah no SHIT kyle is gonna get mad over a girl holding hands with cartman bc HE WANTS TO HOLD HANDS WITH CARTMAN and he’s used to being the one that gets to touch him and be in his personal bubble.

#south park #kyman #KYMANRANTGARBAGE

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hannie-dul-set · 1 year ago

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PATIENCE, PATIENCE.

p — SIM JAEYUN x gn! reader. g — humor, fluff. w — swearing, making out, secondhand embarrassment aka the hannie-dul-set fic triumvirate + a good amount of public indecency. 1.5k words.

requested by — anon: cocky jock (who loses that cockiness around you) x reserved student librarian (who loses that cool because of him).

note — loosely inspired by a moment from the manhwa "unstoppable hayoung" ifykyk. in a prev fic i alluded beomgyu to a mosquito, in this one jake to a pest. i think i'm seeing a pattern here.

a pest has been following you for quite some time now.

“sim jaeyun.”

his name falls icy off your tongue, prefacing it with a sharp inhale yet the man in question is unfazed. he’s trespassing the barrier that’s preventing you from socking him in the face: the front desk of the library where he’s decided to prop his arms over, leaning into the surface, smiling oh-so-handsomely at you as if you aren’t politely telling him to fuck off with your eyes alone.

then again. you don’t really expect him to understand social cues.

“for the dozenth time, please leave me alone.”

so you verbalize your intent instead.

“i can’t do that, baby,” he replies. “not until you agree to go out with me.”

you suck in a deep huff of air, close your eyes, and dig your fingers into your thighs to ward away the distress.

“just one date. please?” he prods, nudging himself closer over the desk as if the scrawls of paper you’re trying to organize aren’t as important as his incessant badgering. “are you really going to keep saying no to this face?” the face in mention looks particularly punch-able right now. you’ve always taken pride in yourself for being a very patient, patient individual. jake sim from philosophy 102 is testing that patience.

“the library is for reading,” you say through gritted teeth. patience, patience, patience. you’re a daffodil on a breezy field, a piece of driftwood on a steady river. you will not fight a man in your workplace. you will keep your job and maintain inner peace.

“i am reading,” he argues. “i’m trying to read your mind because i don’t get why you don’t want to go out with me.”

holy crap. he’s insufferable.

“i’ve already told you dozens of times, jake.” now, you don’t know a thing or two about the ball sport he does, but that pink varsity jacket is starting to look abhorrent. it’s being shoved into your face the more he tries to throw himself over your desk. a bright jarring color, unsafe for the eyes. “i don’t want to go out with you. also, i’d appreciate if you stop ruining my work.”

one of the documents got wrinkled under his elbow. his mouth opens, “oh, sorry!” and he quickly backs off, ironing the sheet with his palms. “but at least tell me why you don’t want to go out with me. you keep rejecting me with a blank face but i don’t know why.”

your upper lip twitches.

because this is all because of a dare, that’s fucking why.

no, even that aside, the way he keeps arrogantly trying to hit on you, expecting you to just accept it and go is grinding your gears. you’re calm. you’re usually calm. but something about this guy just pushes all your buttons in one go, makes you spew out bullshit you’d never dare yourself to say to anyone else.

“hey,” your rouse. “can you kiss me right now?”

two can play at that game, bitch.

it works. it works really well because jake is suddenly as pink as his jacket. well, you don’t blame him. the library isn’t safe from gross, hormonal activities, but those are usually done in between the shelves— not at the front desk near the entrance.

you’re mimicking his stance, leaned forward, arms crossed over the desk and all. “like— like a peck on the cheek?” he stutters.

“no. like tongue in mouth kissing me like a starved man and it’s your last meal on death row,” you clarify. it’s funny how you can see his brain circuits crashing in real time. serves him right. you let out a breath and stand up, seeing the clock tick closer to your break. you quickly gather your things and circle out from behind the desk, now in cross-armed disappointment next to your persistent pest. “this is why i don’t want to go out with you, jake. you don’t even have feelings for me. you’re doing this because your friends told you to, and i don’t—”

suddenly, you feel something soft on your lips.

suddenly, your knees are weak, your mind is fuzzy, and you’re exchanging spit with jake sim in the library lobby.

wait, you gasp into his mouth and he responds with a grunt. wait, your eyelids flutter, air knocked out of your chest that’s somehow now pressed against his because wait— this wasn’t supposed to go this way.

how dare he actually do what you told him to? how dare he give you the best damn kiss you’ll ever have in your life?

“what the fuck?” you breathe out in intermittent huffs, hands on his chest as you pull yourself back. jake’s hazy eyes are looking at you in a way that makes your brain jump in circles, coupled by the arm that he has looped around your lower back. he’s crazy. he’s fucking crazy. “why— why would you do that?!”

“you told me to kiss you!”

“and you did?!”

your eyes widen at the volume of your own voice, quickly slapping a hand over your swollen lips, but making noise is at the bottom of your library sins today. you see your supervisor’s attention on you from the corner of your eye, and your face flushes. “why would you go this far for a dare?” you say in a quieter voice, still manic, still frantic, and jake flinches hard when you jab a finger to his chest. “you’re nuts, you’re actually nuts, oh my god—”

“wait, what do you mean dare?” your finger seems to be hurting him because he grabs your wrist and brings your hand down. “a dare? a dare to do what?”

you seethe. “don’t play dumb with me, jake. overheard you and your little soccer friends last time—”

“it’s football—”

“i don’t care.” your voice is getting louder again. jake flinches once more. “the problem here is you keep asking me out to date you because your soccer friends are betting on who can bed the quiet library assistant first and— and i’m not going to play dumb just because you’re a good kisser. i’m angry and disgusted and—”

“do you mind continuing your argument outside?”

your mouth is hanging open, paused mid-speech. when you peer to your left, you see that your supervisor has teleported right next to you. oh, god. there goes your job. jake apologizes for the both of you and skews your frozen figure out the door. you’re screwed. your patience could handle six months at starbucks and three months babysitting three toddlers, but i cannot handle one sim jaeyun.

“so,” the perpetrator’s voice snaps you back to reality. you’re both now outside the library, and he’s looking at you with a smugness that begs a kick to the balls. “you think i kiss good.”

your face bitters. “is that your only takeaway from all that?”

“no,” he shakes his head. “i also got that you’re rightfully mad at me for something i have to clear up.”

here we go. you’re curious to see what excuses he’ll make, how many sorry’s he’ll impart, and if he’ll get down on his knees. jake. but his starting words aren’t what you’re hoping for. “there isn’t a bet,” he starts. “my teammates were just trying to tease me because i didn’t have the balls to ask you out. dumb, i know, but they were dumber because they were all like, ‘if you don’t make a move soon, we will, blah, blah, blah’ to provoke me so—”

jake is matching his varsity jacket again.

“long story short, i made them run fifteen laps and decided to get it over with by asking you out on a date.”

you’re brought back to the first instance jake had asked you out— it was in the lecture hall, right after class, and he was wearing the same pink jacket that at this point seems like his second skin. the color isn’t as jarring as you initially thought.

“but rejection didn’t feel nice. so i thought i’d try again.”

you narrow your eyes. “again, as in like, eight times?”

“you counted?” he muses. you are unamused. he clears his throat and continues. “you’re always so calm and collected, but your eyebrows would furrow and your face would scrunch up whenever i threw you the question. it’s cute. i got addicted. you can’t pin all the blame on me.”

you let his words simmer, and with each passing second of silence jake grows more nervous, fidgeting in wait. you decide to spare him the agony, letting out a deep and heavy sigh. “okay. you’re forgiven.”

it’s instantaneous how his face lights up. now, you’re the one flinching.

“nice! does that mean we’re dating now? can i kiss you again?”

“now hold on,” you stop him, mildly appalled, mostly flustered. “i said i forgive you. i never said we can start making out in a public area again.”

he bats his eyes at you. “in private then?”

you want to hit him. you want to hit him so bad. sim jaeyun is the pest that has been following you for quite some time now. you fear that at this point, there’s no getting rid of him now.

#enhypen x reader #enha x reader #enhypen jake x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #jake sim x reader #enhypen scenarios #enha scenarios #sim jaeyun scenarios #jake sim scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen x you #sim jaeyun x you #jake sim x you

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hello-sweetheart · 30 days ago

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Fame and Fortune

Do you dream of glory? Crowds of thousands all adoring beneath you. The roaring cheers echoing in the arena. Countless of small white lights held up like beacons creating a sea of waving stars all for you. Breathless exhilaration has your chest heaving, skin glistening and damn. To feel like a god: never ending, eternal.

What would you be willing to do to get it?

What are you willing to sacrifice for fame?

Who are you prepared to lose?

Could the love of millions be worth the love of one?

——

[Backstage: Corroded Coffin Global Tour-Los Angeles, Ca]

Eddie is pacing, more than just pre-show nerves numb his hands. His cigarette burns quickly, ash falling on the carpeted floor, but no amount of nicotine filled lungs will fix this. Gareth, his drummer and long time friend, is watching him pace, eyes pleading.

“Is it worth it, Eddie?

We all got what we wanted; why are we miserable? You can’t lie to me, we all feel it. I see it in everyone, even you! You haven’t been the same since—“ He receives a withering glare from the frontman and sighs, speaking softer.

“I miss mom and my little sister. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them… I’m no longer drawn in her crayon family portraits, did you know that? Does Anne even remember me, anymore?

How can you keep going like this and expect us to do the same? I’m grateful—I really am—for you. You got us where we are now, a fantasy that we never even dreamed would become reality. It was amazing, I’m glad I got to experience it all with you, but I’m tired. I’m so tired guys.

I just want to go home.”

The long drag he takes burns his throat,

“Look, we’re all tired, I get it. Really, I do, this tour has been… particularly grueling I’ll admit, but come on. This is our last show, the big finale! We’ll give them all we got and then we’ll be able to take a break to freshen up before doing what we do best: creating kick ass music.

Like always. You’ll feel better after this, we always do after the last show—“

Gareth cuts him off, his patience clearly stretched thin.

“No, Eddie, listen to me! It’s different this time. I’m happy with the money we’ve made, we all have enough to live comfortably and I’ve been thinking that, you know, it’s time to settle down. I can’t do that if I’m always working. This, the band, it doesn’t… it doesn’t make me happy anymore.”

Jeff stands and his imposing figure makes Eddie pause from wearing a path into the floor.

“He’s not the only one, man. Im sorry, but its killing me. We don’t expect you to give it up either, you can keep the band name, find new members, keep signing… But for us? We can’t keep going, man. This is the end of the line.”

‘Not him too. Fuck. Fuck!’

“No! What am I—I’ve given up too much for this, you can’t just, fucking, bail on me!” This band, playing with his friends, it’s become his entire world. He’s lost too much to get here.

“Woah, woah, hey! No one fucking told you to and you know it. We’ve always had your back no matter what, but anything you chose to do is on you. Not us. The least you could do is extend us the same fucking curtesy and respect the fact that we’re fucking done with this bullshit.”

His gaze is venom as he looks at band, Grant and ‘Freak’ silent but agreeing with the rest. They refuse to meet his gaze.

“Fine. Do whatever you want.” He turns and leaves. They’ll be starting in 15 minutes.

Fucking cowards. Ungrateful bastards.

A memory plays in his head. Brief and intrusive. The voice of someone long gone from his life rings in his mind.

“I’ve missed you, Ed. Are you done at the studio, yet? When are you coming home?”

“Steve, this is important. You know this. I’ll be pulling a few more all nighters here—this album has to be perfect, baby.”

A crackling sigh is barely audible through the phone.

“I know, I know. I’m just being selfish. I’m sorry. Miss waking up to you next to me.”

“Miss you too, baby. You’re my world you know. Love you more than anything.”

“More than music?” It’s a timid question.

“Now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he’s the only one to laugh into the receiver.

“Right… night, Eddie.”

“Wait, Stev—“ fuck. It was only joke. Whatever, he’ll apologize tomorrow.

Right now, he has music history in the making.

#take a break Ed Steve’s heart still waits for you #steddie #steddie headcanon #steddie prompt #steddie ficlet #steddie drabble #steddie fic #famous eddie munson #rockstar eddie munson #steddie angst #corroded coffin #bee speaks

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 5 months ago

Note

Smut Idea: 03 Leo and S/O doing sexy role play of enemy to lovers

Karai’s Student (Angst?/Fluff?) (Suggestive)

2003!Leonardo x foot!reader

A/N: This may not have been what you were looking for, but your request suddenly gave this idea and I just had to run with it. It follows the enemy to lovers trope, with the reader being a part of the Foot. This one is not very smutty, but I’ve made it a bit suggestive. Hope you’ll like it anyway tho💙

Warnings: Suggestive themes, talk of hurting each other, not prof read.

You couldn’t stand him. The mutant turtle leader in blue with his overblown ego, his constant need to show off, even in the middle of a battle, and his never stopping preach of “peace”, “patience” and “guidance”. Not even two minutes after you first met him and his brothers, you were at his throat with your blade, ready to make him shut up. But damned be Leonardo and his actually impressive ninja skills. Sure, Karai had told you about his skills, praising him and his abilities with his swords, even though he was a mortal enemy of her and her father. You had even once heard Shredder mutter something along the lines of Splinter having taught his son well. But as you stood face to face with Leonardo for the first time, you didn’t find yourself as impressed as you found yourself annoyed, even angry. And that anger and distaste for the leader in blue only grew further, as your first encounter ended with him throwing you off the roof, sending you crashing into a dumpster filled with trash below.

Your anger was noticeable after that first encounter. Karai noticed how easily she could get your blood boiling during training, just by reminding you of the mutant turtle. And she used that to the fullest, watching from the sidelines as her first student got riled up, letting out a roar as she cut off the head of her training dummy, letting it fall to the floor with a thud.

The second time you and Leonardo crossed paths, you fully intended to try to get rid of him. You had not expected to run into him on your minor mission on your own in an abandoned building, but here he was, the sight of his face making you grit your teeth.

The two of you found yourselves locked in a fight, your swords clashing together. But while you did everything you could, trying to get a slash or a stab through Leonardo’s protections, he deflected your attempts, once again talking to you like he was an old master of sorts.

“You’re angry, (Y/N)”, he said, calm as ever, almost sympathetic, deflecting every swing of your sword. “This is not how to get your anger out. There’s other ways”.

“Will you shut up?!”, you yelled, feeling your emotions boiling over, your anger turning into desperation. You wanted him gone, and the increasingly erratic movements of your arms made that clear. “Shut up! Shut the fuck up!”

Your anger left you blind. It left you open for attacks. And much to your dismay, Leo noticed that, and took the first opportunity you presented for him. You were shocked at how quickly he managed to unarm you, sending your sword slided across the floor and far away from you. You tried punching out after his face, only for Leo to grab a hold of your hand and twisting it behind your back. You screamed, slowly sinking to your knees, trying to fight the pain in your arm.

“I don’t want to keep fighting you”, he said, his calm voice making you want to kick him where the sun doesn’t shine.

“Bullshit!”, you yelled, doing a sudden turn so that you could hit Leo with your other fist. However Leo grabbed this with ease, pushing you down flat on your stomach with your hands behind your back. You struggled over him, proving enough of a challenge for him to press his body weight onto you in order to keep you in place.

“Let me go!”, you yelled.

“Are you going to try to punch me if I do?”, Leo asked, a small annoyance dripping from his voice.

“I will stab you!”, you yelled, struggling against his grip once more. And for a moment, just a moment, you managed to get one of your hands free from Leo’s grip. This caused another struggle between the two of you, in which you managed to push yourself up just a little from the floor with your free hand. However, Leo was quick to get a hold of your hand once more, pushing himself flat against you in order to keep you still, knocking all air out of you as you hit the floor.

With the side of your face laying flat against the cold floor, you found yourself burning with anger from the inside. You tried your best to ignore the feeling of Leo’s hard plastron against your back, and the sound of his breathing just behind your ear, or how big his arm and hand looked compared to yours, as it kept yours locked to the floor.

“You done?”, Leo asked, his voice low by your ear. You mentally cursed yourself for the shivers that went down your spine.

“No”, you sneered, keeping your face as far away from his as possible. “As soon as you get off me, I’ll gut you!”

“Then I’ll guess we’ll have to stay here until you are done”, Leo said. And at that moment you wanted to day. You almost asked him to bring out his katana and just get it over with. But no, instead you stayed like that for hours, until you finally found yourself getting tired of your lack of food and limited blood circulation, causing you to ever so slowly fall asleep. And when you woke up a few hours later, Leo was gone. And so was your sword…

The time after you and Leonardo’s second meeting, you found yourself more angry than ever before. You no longer just decapitated your training dummies, but now you tumbled them over, beating them with whatever weapon you were practicing with, until the fabric of the dummy was frayed and the filling was out everywhere. Even Karai was taken aback the first time it happened, but then she did what she always did - she encouraged it. She even went so far as to add a blue strap of fabric to the dummies, as to imitate a bandana.

As days turned into nights, Leo still wouldn’t leave your head. No matter how often you beat the shit out of those dummies during training, it was like you couldn’t get rid of this ever growing feeling of anger and resent. All you could think of was the feeling of his body being pressed against yours, the sound and feeling of his breath against your ear, and his strong arms and big hands holding you still. And with each thought of him passing through your head, you wanted to punch holes in the walls.

But then, one night, you found your world turned upside down. In the early mornings you found yourself waking up, gasping for air and sweat dripping from your body, as if you had had a horrible nightmare. But the wet feeling between your legs let you know that it had been far from a nightmare. You had been dreaming about you and Leo in that abandoned building. Your body pinned underneath his, his lips on your neck, his hands slowly creeping up the front of your shirt, and his hips grinding against your ass. And to your horror, you had liked it. You had asked him to keep going, even moaning when nibbled at your ear. However, you woke up in shock when he turned you over, the last thing you remember being him diving down over you, just about to capture your lips with his. And from that day on, your anger towards Leonardo took a different form, as those kinds of dreams started to come more and more often…

The third time you meet Leonardo, you were less than prepared for what was going to happen. It was during another of the minor lone missions Karai had sent you out on. As you sneaked around the roofs of New York City, with your black mask covering the lower half of your face, you were surprised by a sudden voice behind you, catching you off guard.

“(Y/N)? Long time, no see”, Leo said. And for a moment you thought you heard friendliness in his voice. But instead of greeting him, you turned, throwing a ninja star his way. But Leo, being as fast as he was, quickly jumped out of the way. “Well, I’m happy to see you too”.

“Give me my sword back, asshole!” you yelled, charging towards him, your hands raised. You punched your fist out at him, aiming for his face. But once again, Leo dodged with ease.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), but I can’t do that when you’re actively trying to hurt me”.

“You stole it!”

“No, I took it, hoping it would help you calm down. But it clearly hasn’t helped much”, Leo said, slowly circling around you, ducking every once in a while when your knuckles came flying towards him.

“I’ll give you calm!”, you yelled, charging forward once again. Your closed fist just passing by Leo’s head. Leo however did not seem the least bit bothered. Instead he grabbed a hold of your arm, before using his foot to pull one leg out underneath you, using his hold on your arm to push you backwards. You felt yourself fall to the roof in slow motion. But this time you refused to fall without bringing Leo down with you. Within the last second of opportunity, you grabbed a hold of the tails of Leo’s blue banda, yanking him down with you as you fell. Leo stumbled forward, and as you both fell to the roof, you soon came to realize the depth of your mistake.

Leo braced himself just before he crashed upon you, hovering just above your face, his strong arms on either side of your face. You felt a pit grow in your stomach, your eyes wide open, staring at Leo’s face just before you, feeling his breath against the fabric of your mask. His eyes were just as wide as yours, staring directly into your soul. For a moment you wondered if you were back in one of your trick full dreams, that tried to make you believe that you wanted this to happen. You mentally cursed your body for reacting to feeling Leo so closely against you, the pit in your stomach starting to tingle. But then Leo did something that made you shiver all over.

With a slow and soft hand, he tugged lightly at your mask, pulling it down past your face and letting it rest around your neck. Suddenly nervousness started growing within you, causing you to lick your drying lips. Leo noticed this, his eyes flickering to your lips for a moment before returning to your eyes once more.

You weren’t sure who moved first, but ever so slowly your faces started moving closer. Your heart was pounding with excitement, but your brain was screaming at you, telling you that you were about to commit a giant mistake. You felt Leo’s fingers find your face, his fingertips gracing your cheek, as if checking if it was okay to touch you. You could feel the warmth of Leo’s lips radiating onto yours, knowing that they were mere millimeters from yours. Your heart was earning for you to close the short distance, but your head was ringing every single alarm bell. It was like two sides of you were fighting to get control over you. And in the end, one side won.

With a quick hand, you grabbed for one of Leo’s katanas mounted on his back, pulling it out just far enough for its shiny blade to rest just by Leo’s shoulder. Leo froze above, his lips still just above yours. With a quick side glance, Leo could see his own eyes in the reflection of his katana looking back at him. He slowly looked back at you, a small smile making its way onto his features.

“And you called me an asshole?”, he chuckled.

“I want my sword back”, you said, tightening your grip on the blue handle of the katana, reminding Leo of the situation he was in.

“So now you’re trying to take mine?” He was teasing you. Here he was, just hovering above you, his own blade almost pressing up against his skin, and he was teasing you? A shiver ran through you, aiming directly for your core. You tried your best to maintain the expression on your face, but a small twitch in the side of your mouth let Leo know that you were struggling.

“(Y/N)”, Leo said, his expression a little more serious this time. “I meant it when I said I don’t want to fight you. I have no reason to fight you”. You started biting the inside of your cheek, your eyes drifting from his to the handle in your hand. “I promise you-”.

“I will let you go”, you said, interrupting and taking the mutant turtle aback, your eyes almost burning holes in his. “If you promise to bring back my sword. My sword and one last fight”.

“I already said I don’t want to-”.

“One last fight”, you said sternly, pulling at the katana. “If you win, I might think of what you told me the first time we met”, you continued, hinting at the long speech Leo held for you just before your first fight.

“And if you win?”, Leo asked.

You answered by giving the blade a light shake. “You won’t have to worry about that”.

Leo looked at you for a moment, taking a moment to think about your offer, before finally nodding. “Deal”.

Maintaining an emotionless expression, you let Leo’s katana slide back onto his shell, bringing your face close to his once again. “Next time I see you”.

“Deal”, Leo said once more, understanding what you meant. Standing back up when you let go of his katana. Standing up straight, he looked down at you, a small smile breaking through once more. “See you around, (Y/N)”.

And with those words, he was gone, jumping back over the roofs in whatever direction he came from. You however, stayed on the roof for a moment, taking a moment to calm your frayed nerves, thinking about how you and Leo’s next encounter might play out.

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