#I’ve mainly been keeping it it bc I want to mention that he’s involved with the “controversy” with secret mark

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Today’s darling that was sacrificed: ~400 explaining that Morton Smith is kinda bad at translation and research.

[cafeinthemoon]

It's a Fire - Chapter III

Chapter 3

Wordcount 3,9k

Title Family Portrait

Fandom Kimetsu no Yaiba / Demon Slayer

Previous chapters

1 . 2

Symbols ⭕ ➕ 🖤

Warnings:  Attempt to agression toward a minor; agressive, abusive behavior; mentions of alcoholism, grief and loss

Tagging ? (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: So, finally I'm having a break from work! I was on vacation and had plenty opportunities to rest and forget about the same, stressful and boring routine, and now I'm back to my writings at last <3 This chapter has the very scene that made me write this whole story, and I'm so proud of it! I'm really happy to share it with you! Also, the end of this chapter had me struggling a bit, mainly bc of the amount of information I should include in it or leave to the next one, but I think I found a reasonable midterm. There was also the question involving the photographs, for I couldn't remember if photography was a technology present in Demon Slayer or not (I had to do a research about photography in Japan to confirm lol)

I really hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

The omnipresent tension in each step you took in the Rengoku’s house right in your first day followed you in the next ones, whether you were alone in your room or with others, and in different places, but nothing compared to the few times you’ve met your husband: it was like he was always avoiding you, so whenever you saw him, it seemed to be by chance, as if he failed in keeping his distance. Sometimes, he wouldn’t say anything, but would acknowledge your presence by a direct look or a move of his head, to which you’d reply politely, and the few occasions when he exchanged words with you, the conversation, limited to basic inquiring about practical, daily subjects, would never go beyond one minute or two.

The closest you’ve come to discuss your situation was when one day, after receiving monosyllabic responses, he addressed your discontentment in the most direct way he could, catching you in surprise.

– Listen. I can see this is not what you planned for yourself, but let me tell that I’ve never planned to bring another woman to this house as well. Yet our families had an alliance in the past, and we must honor it.

You bit your lip at those words.

And honor the lots of money my father sent to you.

Instead of spitting your bitter thoughts, however, you responded him with a simple question.

– May I ask you something, Rengoku-sama?

– What is it? – he frowned.

– If honoring this alliance is something we both must do, why do you sound like you’re lecturing me?

It didn’t go unnoticed by you the spite he tried to restrain in the way he clenched his lips. For a moment, you thought you just made a big mistake in speaking like that, and moved one feet back.

But nothing more than a few composed words came from him in response.

– Let’s just say that your father and I had a conversation in which he pointed out that, despite your many talents, fulfilling duties like this can be a sensitive, not to say difficult, subject to you. I myself have issues towards it too, still I don’t want it to become an obstacle for us.

You measured those words. Finally, something you both agreed, you thought. But you decided to follow through a different path, directing the pressure to your father’s account.

– Rengoku-sama, I don’t know when was the last time you’ve saw y/ln-sama before the wedding arrangements, but I suppose it happened long ago, so that I need to bring some things to your attention. My father is a stern man, too attached to his traditions and too busy to take time in learning about what lies beyond them. These traits only increased since my mother passed away, and he has been spending more and more time by himself, barely talking to anyone but the servants. So, it might be just my opinion, but if we really want to make this work, seeing your new wife through such man’s eyes is not going to help you, nor her.

He spent a moment in silence, pondering your words. You had no doubts that if you were a boy and younger, he would’ve already showed an inflamed reaction, but having a young woman using all her dignity was enough to make him hold himself in place.

– I will take this as a sign of compliance.

Before you could say anything, he turned his back and headed to his room with no additional comments.

Never he asked how you were feeling in that new environment, if your room was of your like or if the servants have answered your needs, neither before or after this episode. Yes, after seeing you burning your father’s letter with no hesitation, he might have supposed that your feelings towards the situation weren’t the best, but even so you’d consider it a matter of gentleness, after all you were a couple. But gentleness didn’t seem to be a known concept by Shinjuro, and you wouldn’t take too long to see examples of that.

One of the first things that brought you uneasiness concerning your husband was the fact that, whatever the period of the day or the occasion, he was always accompanied by a bottle of sake; you’ve never seen him using a cup, however, and even in times he wasn’t drinking, a moment standing next to him was enough for one to notice the subtle smell of alcohol.

There was a morning when you just opened your room’s door and put your feet on the corridor, and a sequence of angry yells came to your ears. You stopped immediately and, glancing around, you saw a young servant kneeling in front of Shinjuro’s door and trying to speak to him, maybe about an issue concerning the house. You couldn’t understand what was being said, but apparently the man has delivered unpleasant news and asked for an answer, which infuriated his lord.

You kept listening to the unnerving communication between the two, and had to suppress a scream with your hand over your mouth when your husband screamed and threw a bottle full of liquid at the young man, who flinched, protecting his head under his hands; this measure wouldn’t work if the bottle has crashed on him, but fortunately it hit the wall behind after passing over his head. The sharp pieces of the bottle spread with a crash on the floor, now soaked with the sake, then there was silence. The young man excused himself and left before something worse took place. You bit your lip.

What could be so irritating that got him acting that way? My goodness…

You were standing in the doorway, still observing, when the sight of Shinjuro’s shadow on the wall hit by the bottle woke you up and made you go back inside your room, closing your door quickly (and quietly) as possible. You returned to the middle of the room and waited, afraid that he decided to take your room’s direction, but to your relief, none of this happened, so you sat back on your bed to catch your breath.

So, this is what I’ll have to live with under this roof. I’ll be sharing this place with a beast.

You walked around the house with a blade hidden in your sleeve and slept with your sword beside you every night after that.

***

In the following days, you’ve saw similar episodes, all of them giving you enough reasons to stay on guard in his presence. This was even more important when Senjuro was around. The boy, you noticed, was used to this behavior, though he was never able to completely disguise his discomfort towards it; it was clear that he had memories of a time when things were different, for what other reason he had for not letting his conscience go numb in front of the things he saw everyday? You considered this a fortunate trait, and reinforced to yourself the task of protecting the goodness your stepson had in him.

There was a day when you faced the need of transforming this determination in action.

It’s been a full month since your wedding day, and you created the habit of taking walks in the garden behind the house after an occasion when your husband saw you heading to the kitchen. You passed by him and, before you could carry on your way, he called you.

– Rengoku-sama?

– I’ve heard you’ve been bored these days. I’d feel like that if I was in your place too – and, pointing at what he supposed to be the garden’s direction, – From the porch of these rooms, you can find a narrow path that leads to an old garden at the south wing. Go take a walk there from time to time. It might help you with the paleness in your face.

You nodded and murmured a “Thank you” to that strange favor, but he didn’t finish yet.

– But make sure to avoid it at evenings, though. We never know what might appear at this period of the day.

You didn’t reply. You just stood there, watching as he distanced himself through the corridor. You started using the garden, but obeyed his instruction and never lingered there when the evening approached.

The garden, indeed, had the appearance of a place that hasn’t been used for a long time. The path that crossed the area, connecting all its zones, was covered in grass and weeds, its stones invisible under them in some spots; the trees were overgrown, with fallen branches suspended by the ones still connected to the trunks, and thick layers of dead leaves surrounding the trees and their roots; there were bushes full of dry leaves as well, and some were taken over by cascades of wild flowers. Everything smelled like abandonment and melancholy.

One morning, you were just walking like the previous occasions, but you looked ahead and found Senjuro there, wielding a training sword. You smiled and approached.

– I hope I’m not interrupting anything?

He startled, but smiled when he recognized you.

– Good morning, y/n. I haven’t trained regularly the last months, but now I’m trying to regain the wasted time.

– That’s good to hear! – you crossed your arms – Speaking about this, I haven’t trained since I left my father’s house. Would you mind training with me?

Senjuro opened a content smile at this.

– It’s okay for me. It’s good to have company while training.

He decided to go back to the house and find another wood sword for you.

You’ve spent the entire morning having fun with your swords clashing. In fact, Senjuro knew all the basic moves your mother taught you, so that there was little you could teach him in this sense, but you noticed he struggled a bit with changing his position quickly enough to defend himself from surprise attacks, as if his body couldn’t follow his eyes; still, he was fast with his feet, and you thought you could help him work on this. On the other hand, you struggled with physically strong strikes, and since he was already stronger than you despite his age, you found yourself using your feet more to stand in place than to explore the space around you.

You even managed to have conversations about your progresses and goals concerning the art of the sword.

– I know I have little chance to surpass my brother, at least in developing the family’s Breath Style – Senjuro told you once – But I still can serve as a security worker or follow other paths. I want to dedicate my life to an honorable career, even if it means not wielding a sword at all. Still, I really like training.

– My choices are even smaller than yours when it comes to using a sword – you replied – But I want to do honorable works too. When my mother was alive, I thought my biggest dream was to develop my own Breath Style and work by her side in the Demon Slayer Corps. But now that she’s no longer here, I’m not so sure about this. I’d prefer to think that I’ll wield my sword to protect myself and the ones I care about, whether against a demon or another being.

You didn’t know, but your words would become prophetic a few days later, when what should have been just another morning training turned into a disturbing episode involving your stepson and your husband.

The thing was that, sometimes, Shinjuro demanded his son to go to the town’s market and buy sake for him instead of going by himself. This was revealed to you by Senjuro when you asked where he was going so early in the morning one day, and other times you saw him being sent by his father in other periods of the day with no right to question. You wanted to interfere, of course, but without a good plan of action and judging by how Shinjuro dealt with the servants who displeased him, you could tell you wouldn’t be treated less harshy.

You were in the middle of the training: Senjuro was experimenting a new technique and you were instructing him, when a sudden noise behind you made you stop and turn. Both of you held your breath when you saw Shinjuro approaching with impatient steps, but unlike your stepson, you didn’t let your sword down, waiting to see what he had for you that time.

He was the first to speak, directly to his son.

– So this is where you’ve been hiding the last mornings? Are you really avoiding your tasks by playing with fake swords with your stepmother? – he inquired; and, before the boy could say anything, – I need you to go to town and buy me sake now.

Senjuro made a shy attempt to argue:

– But, father, I’ve already bought you some yesterday…

– I gave you an order! – the other cut off – You’ve never been great with swords anyway. And now aren’t you even able to obey your father?

The boy gave up replying, but still hesitated, the sword in hands. You clenched your own hand around yours, gritting your teeth behind your closed lips.

That’s not fair. This kid’s been left alone with this man for a long time. It’s my turn to stand up for him.

– He can’t leave the house at the moment, Rengoku-sama – your voice came out loud and clear in the tense silence established between the two males; you positioned yourself ahead, in a way that would protect Senjuro from his father’s reach, yet not separating the them from each other – He has a training session to finish. A servant can go in his place.

Shinjuro’s eyes, flaming at the slightest touch of the sunlight, had nothing to you but resentment for your intrusion. Who the hell you think you were to stand between him and his son when this latter needed correction?

– Someone as grown as you should know where to stop playing, y/n – his tone was rough, and you didn’t know if it was sarcasm or just rage what you sensed in it – There are many things inside the house to which you could dedicate your time to.

You swallowed.

He’s really telling me to abandon the sword and start playing his wife?

Senjuro apparently feared that something worse was about to happen, and tried to calm down the situation again.

– Father, what if I finish here and immediately go to the market…

Shinjuro turned to him.

– You’re still trying to argue?! You brat!

Ignoring your presence, the man raised his hand toward the boy, perhaps too blind by his own anger to notice that he would never reach his victim and to underestimate your choice of putting yourself between them, for his punch never completed its route: coming from underneath, your sword slapped his hand away with a harsh strike, full of your impatience and indignation; you stood in front of your husband, completely hiding his son, and pointed the wood tip at his face.

– Senjuro-san, here’s a lesson for you – you say, without taking his eyes off his father –When a reckless individual approaches a swordsman, you must make sure he understands he’s making a terrible mistake.

Maybe your strike wasn’t as strong as you intended it to be, or your husband had an abnormally high pain tolerance, for his response, after a brief shake of his beaten hand, was to grab the length of your sword and hold it so tight that you couldn’t move it away. Your eyes widened at the wood cracking around his grip.

– Senjuro-san, two lessons for you – mimicking your attitude, he spoke to his son, but his eyes were glued on you – First, always remember to hold your sword the right way. Second, never start an assault without measuring your adversary’s strength.

He let go of the sword at last, turned his back on you and left.

When all the signs of his presence disappeared, you let your sword down and turned to Senjuro. Swallowing every bit of shame or disappointment, you opened a smile. The gesture confused him, but soon you clarified it.

– Your father is right. In a battle, prudence is everything – and, wielding your sword again, – Let’s try again.

***

Days have passed.

During all this time, you haven’t seen Shinjuro except for one time or two, and only at distance. No conversation happened between you, not even through the servants. Not that you were sad or ashamed by it, of course: you did what you had to do to defend Senjuro, and you were always trying to be reasonable and polite despite the unfavorable circumstances; unlike your husband, you had nothing to regret about. The only thing you felt was an increase in the tension that already existed inside the house, which put you in an even deeper state of alert. On the other hand, no interruptions happened during your next training sessions, and Senjuro seemed more at ease whenever you were around: he has been fulfilling his tasks with more diligence, and didn’t hesitate in calling for help when necessary. You were happy to see that a slight chance of him reaching a healthy, mature state still existed despite what he has seen and might still see there.

But not even this proof of your right decision to take care of him could erase the uneasiness in your perception concerning his father: you couldn’t help wondering why, and how, he became the person you were seeing now. Your parents, each one in their own manner, assured you that he was a good, honored person, someone who dedicated his life and energy to protect people from literal demons – so what kind of thing could provoke such transformation, that is, if he was really how your parents pictured him?

This mystery has been eating your mind up, and you had no courage to ask Senjuro about this; you didn’t want to be intrusive, neither you intended to bring back unpleasant memories he might have had. At the same time, you didn’t see ways to figure it out by yourself, or at least no one that didn’t involve invading spaces that weren’t meant for you, including parts of the house which access was forbidden, such as the living room. With all the things that happened since you went to live in that house, as well as the fact that you were too concentrated on your own feelings, you hadn’t the time to feed any curiosity about these places, but this started to change since the argument at the garden. What if the answers were all inside them?

Part of you was convinced of this, yet was against an intrusion: you weren’t even expected to be there a few months ago, and now you wouldn’t be able to follow a simple rule? What kind of adult you were? Other part, however, was just waiting for an opportunity.

And it came one day, when Shinjuro decided to go after his sake by himself.

You were passing by an inner corridor from where you could see the front door when you noticed it was left open. At first, you supposed that Senjuro forgot to close it and went there to do it, but one step toward it and you saw Shinjuro walking away, passing under the portal and heading to the street that led to the town. He was dressed properly and wearing sandals, so you understood he was going to spend some time away from home and was probably see a significant amount of people; besides, he had empty hands, implying that his bottles were all empty as well. You’ve already suspected that, after the beef in the garden, he learned to buy his own drink without bothering his son, and now you were relieved to confirm it. You quietly closed the door and followed through the corridor.

Guilty clenched a hand around your heart while you approached the door and pushed it to the side, but that wouldn’t make you give up. You took a deep breath and stepped into the living room…

And found it completely tied up, as if someone cleaned it yesterday.

The floor was glowing with a new wax layer, the furniture and decoration had no signs of dust over it, and so did the paintings on the walls; there was a slight scent of perfume in the air, confirming your supposition about the cleaning. You observed the space and thought it could be a living room as any other, if it wasn’t for a detail.

The photographs.

They spread everywhere you looked, from the tables to the walls, silent guardians of the house’s memory, of a time when that family had a different, correct, happier structure, where every member had their natural, special place reserved among their loved ones, each one united with the other by the strongest bond.

A time that this family will never see again.

There you observed a younger version of your husband, whether in common, traditional clothing or in his uniform as a member of the Demon Slayer Corps, and understood that your parents were referring to this Shinjuro whenever they spoke about him, the healthy and tied up responsible head of his house, the hard worker you’d never guess that existed if it wasn’t for your parents’ word and those images. A man who was no longer there, though he continued to live.

And beside this man you found the ones he lost, people who also ceased to exist, but in a literal, painful sense.

First, a young man who resembled him in each trait, and who chose to follow his steps judging by his solo portraits in the Corps clothing. On his face, always a content, vivid expression that made you smile before you could stop yourself. You imagined how loved and cherished he might have been in that house… and how much of that very house’s light was gone when they found out he would never step into it again.

Second, sometimes with her free, delicate hands on sight, sometimes with them occupied holding a baby who became your stepson, a woman with light clothes and brown hair falling over her shoulders, maybe younger than you by the time those photos were taken, always by the side of the man who was now married to you, but the happier version of him, surely being like this because of her. A woman with a quiet, peaceful smile and a pair of ruby gems as eyes, staring at the camera with a gaze that would trespass the lens and the time to reach you, making you unravel the mystery that has been haunting your mind those days.

This was the woman he loved, then. This was the reason why he couldn’t stand you.

You sensed a hole forming inside your chest and tears starting to blur your sight, making the family disappear before you, but it wasn’t jealousy you had of them, not even of the woman. It was pure sadness.

What a beautiful woman… What a beautiful family… What has my father done?… What am I even doing here?…

You turned to your side, to the door’s direction. Leaving that room the way you found it and forget about what you saw there was the most decent thing you could do after disobeying the rule you’ve been taught. Maybe that was the reason why you should never be allowed there: it wouldn’t do you any good to see what those people were before you entered their lives, and what they’ve lost before they were given you as a poor excuse for a member. But now it was too late to regret this.

As well as it was too late to hide what you did when, standing at the doorway, you found Senjuro staring at you with worried confusion in his eyes.

Chapter 4

[dream-critical]

Idk just think it’s weird that Q hasn’t spoken out 🤷🏾‍♀️. People getting doxxed and mess (from what I’ve seen/ heard mainly Q’s “fandom” (sorry don’t know the right word to use)) for simply just for being excited for the USMP. Like he can’t just tweet “I don’t condone this” or whatever?

Even about the messaging thing. Haven’t MULTIPLE people tried and contact him with no response (besides Karl)? It is weird that a lot of people tried reaching out and not one response back just saying “I’m ok, just don’t wanna talk” or something.

But me personally (who hasn’t had the time to really look into this) I didn’t see it as “drama” I saw it as “hey this is what has been going on, and I’ve seen what has happened to the people in both communities”

Ok so I'm taking this at face value so if I'm interpreting anything you've said wrongly do feel free to correct me. And I'm sorry if my response seems all over the place I just wanted to reply as soon as possible.

I think in general it is unfair to expect quackity to reply. Is it the most emotionally mature thing to do? No absolutely not. And I'm sure he's aware of it as well. Do I think the whole situation is ridiculous? Yeah. Do I think it was the best move on Q's part? Probably not. Do I get why he did that? Also yes.

Anyway, I think that in a situation like this, where dream has said some pretty passive aggressive things about quackity, both on Twitter and on stream even when they were supposedly still friends, looked down on the things quackity has achieved, like with the streamer awards etc, Q actually does not owe dream a response. Replying to the other people who reached out would mean having to actually acknowledge what is going on and it would end with having to talk with dream as now others will have become deeply involved in this mess. And I genuinely do not think that dream is the kind of person that would actually listen to Q if they actually did sit down and talk but that's another conversation.

Dream also is known for ghosting people (like the way ccs on the dsmp couldn't do lore streams bc dream never replied to them etc) so the way he's reacting to this is just hypocritical to me and the way he has handled it is also very childish. He's basically forcing quackity to reply to him through peer pressure and by relying on his fans bothering Q about it it enough that he'll give up on keeping distance. Which also is not an emotionally mature reaction imo.

You're right the whole situation is a mess, I have even seen some people who claimed to be doxxed being proven false, and while I do feel very bad in case there are people that did actually get doxxed and hope they'll be able to move on from it soon, saying that the majority of the doxxers are Quackity stans is untrue as far as I know. Bc I've also seen lots of dream stans spreading misinfo, claiming everyone is suddenly from lktwt, claiming every person critisizing dream is racist.

Arguments about the usmp/qsmp are mainly rooted in the fact that some people get really vile about it and yes I'll admit some people who dislike dream do go a bit far. But at this point the majority of mcyt twt dislikes dream so it isn't just quackity stans.

I have seen people being straight up racist towards quackity bc of it. And perhaps you could argue I'm biased as someone who deeply dislikes dream but I think there's a lot more hostility coming from the usmp side of the argument.

Either way doxxing obviously isn't ok and I don't condone it and I hope everyone that got doxxers is safe and ok.

However I'd also like to add that the only reason this whole usmp Vs qsmp debate has been going on is bc dream couldn't stop mentioning quackity and the qsmp all the time so I'd say dream also has blame in this and I feel he should tweet something denouncing his stans harassing others instead of putting all the blame on someone else since he's so keen on putting pressure on Q.

Also would like to add that no matter what quackity does at this point, things will not change for the better as the situation has been escalated by dream like a lot.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

What’s your opinion for Leo’s reaction to finding out the mc was immortal as well- not necessarily a vampire, maybe they’re some other type of supernatural. I’m really curious because Leo seems like he’s mainly in love with the mc bec they are human.

Hi lovely!!! Always wonderful to see you, hope you’re well! 💛💛💛💛💛

Tbh I think my opinion remains the same about something like this? I'm going to link to an ask I wrote up a while ago, only because it's v pertinent to the subject matter and good background for what I’m going to expand on here.

That being said, I'm happy to kind of tl;dr/expand on what I talked about there. Basically I had the feeling that Leonardo choosing MC as a lover was more circumstantial--regarding the state of his life in the moment, regarding his general feelings about vampires and vampire society, and regarding his unresolved trauma as a young kid.

I guess my answer to that question--and forgive me if it seems like a cop out--is that it really depends, I feel? I think his attraction has a lot more to do with the kind of person somebody is, their sensibility, more than it has to do with mortal vs immortal. If it was an immortal MC that showed ridiculous fortitude and self-control, measured patience and maturity, I really don’t see him not noticing that? I think he would be wary at first (assuming it’s all a front) but with time would likely feel a great deal of love if they were interested in a life together. If they were able to see and understand what he needs and answered those needs, I guess I just really doubt his ability to say no. It’s all he’s really looking for, and the fact that he hasn’t found it after so long really speaks to his frightened evasiveness and the rare nature of that kind of unshakeable strength.

I also think a lot of his hinging away from purebloods (true immortals, in other words) is that he 100% does not want his familia having any involvement in his meaningful relationships. Which might be why he shows more acceptance towards turned vampires, or potentially different supernatural beings.

But I also don’t like giving a vague answer without some kind of explanation as to how I got, to that conclusion, so a boatload of analysis follows below the content warning.

Spoilers for Leonardo’s route and a few mentions of JPN ver content:

I think he has less of an obsession with the idea of mortality, and more like a constant association of goodness and freedom and maturity with humanity. And while it's understandable, there are signs that--when he has the proper time and space to heal--his views seem to soften from those extremes. I mean his decision to live with Comte is pretty much his first step in that direction; it was him acknowledging for the first time that vampires aren't inherently loathsome or incapable of normal living. (On a revealing note, I think it says a lot that he agrees with MC that she is living in a “wolves’ den” but also feels the need to clarify the men are basically the domesticated equivalent. They don’t pose the same threat other vampires typically do to humans because of their lifestyle and sire.) Additionally, his tsun-like behavior towards Comte also seems to solidify this concept for me: Leonardo’s trying to come to terms with something he's sworn to reject since he was young, but also can't entirely deny that Comte is as chill and mature as purebloods come lmao

[There was also an event in the JPN ver–which seems to be approaching the ENG version rapidly, though only the first part is here right now–in which Leonardo fully offers to turn her. MC is essentially on her death bed, and Leonardo doesn’t want to lose her after so little time together; it’s MC that rejects the future as a vampire out of sheer principle. Even more noteworthy is that, when a reincarnation of MC is reunited with Leonardo in modern times, he is revealed to be exceptionally shaken by that loss. There are suggestions he can’t take losing her again, which could mean succumbing to the desire to bite her.]

Two things I feel are necessary to hit home:

The first being that, at least within the storyline so far, the most mature and human-like vampires we’ve seen are Leonardo and Comte. They seek to emulate the maturity they see reflected in the human beings they’ve known all their lives. Given how vampire society and their hierarchies work, I get the feeling humans are nothing more than amusing tools to them--a way to survive and creatures to exercise control over. There’s an objectification and delusion that comes with what I’ve seen, and I think it’s important in this discussion? If the vast majority of vampires behave this way (because I’m ngl, Leonardo and Comte don’t seem very keen on remaining in touch with other vampires all that much) then it only makes sense they prefer the company of humans who can at least share this sensibility of “been there, done that--stop hurting people bc you’re bored/repressed, grow up.”

One event story where this was exceedingly evident was actually Leonardo’s proposal story. If y’all remember, an old pal/acquaintance of Leonardo’s finds out he’s gunning for a human woman and basically goes “lmao not on my watch.” His name was Adam iirc, and he felt he had every liberty to try and pressure Leonardo into turning MC. Failing that, he insisted they should break up and not be together anymore. Now, on the one hand, it’s fair to say that he was looking out for Leonardo in a way–he didn’t want him to end up miserable and alone when she was gone. But at the same time I feel that Adam’s behavior is deeply revealing of vampire society as well lmao. He doesn’t really try to understand the situation, just immediately assumes it’s the only appropriate outcome. It does insinuate a lowkey cultural disdain for humanity: they are imperfect, they do not last or cannot have real value without preservation. If Adam was really Leonardo’s friend, wouldn’t he realize that Leonardo considers vampirism nothing more than a burden that he would wish on no one, much less his future wife? Additionally, wouldn’t he also keep in mind that Leonardo considers human beings beautiful just as they are? Since he fails these basic requirements to understand Leonardo, my impression is that he is influenced by the larger vampire culture to some extent. Furthermore, it underscores just how thoroughly Leonardo has been trained to keep his cards close to his chest for fear of ridicule/violent reprisal: no vampires know his true feelings on the matter because he would be vehemently rejected outright.

[One can also offer that maybe Adam wasn’t being malicious, maybe vampires find human women they fall in love with all the time and turn them (or any other permutation of companionship that occurs), so he doesn’t understand why Leonardo wouldn’t. But even then, to try to force them to break up if she doesn’t turn? A bit overkill imo but also revealing--Leonardo’s will is being ignored for the sake of upholding a kind of ill-founded superiority complex lmao]

While Leonardo does have a somewhat overbearing need to control the pacing of his relationship and who sacrifices what, I don’t think it’s wrong to be cautious--to want to think things through. I think it’s fair to be afraid that the person you’re with can’t handle what you’ve seen/known. But that also leads me to a core issue I have with MC: she doesn’t inspire much confidence that she can handle the life he’s lived, and that’s a problem of both incapacity and incompatibility. I have to wonder how he reacts when he’s with somebody at the same maturity level, or at the very least somebody with whom he can see her strength with time. When MC’s life was dying out he was desperate enough to accept biting her because he didn’t want to lose her–human or not. It’s MC that rejects this solution, which leads me to further believe that he just doesn’t care about the divide when it comes down to it; it has more to do with his difficulty with being vulnerable and fully trusting someone to care about him. (Assuming they also have the fortitude to stay hopeful and relatively strong over the course of a very long life.)

In line with that, the second thing I think it’s important to acknowledge is how deeply hurt Leonardo is as a result of his family treating him like a fool/black sheep. He outright says and heavily insinuates that his family would write her off as worthless, that they’d never accept her--that's his first thought:

Leonardo: “My familia would call you frail. I think you’re strong and beautiful. You do more with your time than we try to do with ours.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC: “And those letters were from your familia?”

Leonardo: “Yeah. I don’t talk to them or see them anymore. We don’t agree...on a lot of things.”

[Brief intermission here. But lmao. Who does that sound like? If any of you guessed Isaac, that’s exactly what I’m alluding to. Isaac says in his own route smth along the lines of “Why bother trying to get through to people when no amount of talking does any good or gets you any closer to being understood?” Which also explains the way they get along to uncanny degrees: they find comfort in making things/researching because it means being able to avoid the distress that comes with being blatantly misunderstood by others. Their pain simply comes in different dimensions; for Leo it’s about loss and hiding who he is out of fear of rejection, for Isaac it’s about betrayal and people turning on him--ultimately abandonment for both. But I digress, back to the main argument.]

Leonardo: “Once they discovered my location, they began hounding me with letters again. They don’t want me to be with just anyone...They want more purebloods. I’m no more than one half of an equation for them.”

There is a clear implication that his desire to choose somebody that truly makes him happy means jack shit to them. They keep talking over him and trying to wear him down to force him into what they want. It’s no wonder--imo--that he has such a hard time just saying what he wants in his life, to feel like he has the freedom to wish and pursue anything freely. It’s no wonder he just expects MC to spit on everything that’s important to him. It appears as though only other human beings in general and Comte have ever come close to understanding him.

At some point MC realizes that his insistence on being compagni provvisori was originally just another act of sacrifice, and that he was fine with giving up his time and a little privacy if it meant she would be safe. The thing she doesn’t seem to realize in the course of this--and he struggles to say it until later on--is that it stopped being blind generosity. He really did start to fall in love with her, and that’s the whole reason things became even more messy; because he didn’t anticipate not being able to let go on top of the vulnerability. And it’s a big part of why he’s hesitating to speak. He feels he has no right to those feelings, and that he’s imposing on her--not that he’ll be welcome.

And when she did finally admit those feelings were welcome, it was compounded by the parroted views of his family and larger vampire society as a whole. Saying that she herself wasn’t enough, that she had to become a vampire to make him happy. Imo that sounds very potentially retraumatizing given his experiences (people trying to force him into marriages with other vampires who didn’t remotely understand or care about him because it was “the right way of things”). It’s no wonder he freaks out and does something incredibly stupid and insensitive–which is pretty insanely ooc for him.

Leonardo: “...It shocked them. Quieted them down a bit. Hard to get peace when your familia is immortal. Grazie, cara mia.”

Leonardo: “You’re strong, and you’re kind. So probably you won’t cry while I’m here to see it. But when I’m not looking, you’ll cry. If I had done that to you (bitten her, in other words), you’d still be crying when I wasn’t watching... Maybe it’s selfish of me, after what I did, but I just wanted to make you happy. You always look pretty, cara mia, but your smile takes my breath away...It’s not your destiny to love someone who will only make you cry.”

This man literally cannot handle anyone deeply sad or in despair. He’s always going to try to cheer people up and care about them, but general tragedy/emotional discord affects him very powerfully--and it’s likely a reflection of what I’ve mentioned before. He can’t bear to see people feeling helpless or miserable because he’s just been there too many times to be able to cope. He wants to help and heal (even if he’s suffering from prolonged compassion fatigue), but he knows that his powers are limited--even if he is a pureblood.

And the thing is? While it’s misguided to believe she would cry alone when it comes to the context of healthy romantic love (bc the idea would be that you lean on each other when something upsetting happens) he has zero reference point. He was not born as a result of authentic love (his parents never married, he was the result of a procreative arrangement), his family talks over every wish and belief he has and they still claim it’s done out of love/honest concern for him. One can only imagine the serpentine and obnoxious lengths to which his family has deceived or tried to force him into reconnecting with them. Every person that ever did know him/care about him in a real way is gone. Love, for him, has only been a series of losses that left his heart hollowed out; I don’t really blame him for expecting further disappointment and isolation and exhaustion. 

He’s also not wrong in the sense that he partially saw MC do what he outlined, and it’s a big part about what he loves about her. When she was feeling alone and lost–powerless–all she did was shrug and move forward. That doesn’t make it hurt any less, but focusing on what you can do instead of what you can’t do is healthier. And they both have the tendency to hide when they’re in pain or feeling lost, all because they don’t want to trouble anyone. Remember that when he says this, it’s a reflection of himself too: because even if he was heartbroken beyond measure, all he would do is hide it every second; he would never expect anyone to see right through him or care.

I mean I tend think of that one post I saw that talked about how people often see themselves as a social burden when most of their life has just been a series of neglect and loss. They don’t really have a concept of “you’re not heavy because I want to stay with you. It’s my choice to care about you.” How do you feel worthwhile an existence when four hundred years later your family still won’t treat you with basic dignity. The men in the mansion also all look to him for guidance and soothing because of the kind of person he is–he’s either silent in the periphery or helping. He never betrays so much as an inkling of insecurity or distress. 

I mean the whole reason Leonardo comes to the mansion is because he has absolutely no issue helping Comte in a pivotal time of need without seeking much of anything in return. Remember that Comte explains how Leonardo came to the mansion in response to Comte’s distress about the future. This makes sense considering Comte was rapidly trying to stop Vlad by beating him to the punch, and had only enough time to plan the basics. He had no certainty things would work out, much less that his boys would thrive. But Comte, unlike the boys, has become acutely aware of how much Leonardo is hiding his fatigue and despair in the course of being helped. As such, he wants to return the favor--and tries to be a good friend to him as much as he can (handles his insane familia, keeps things light and silly time between them, takes him seriously as a person, doesn’t pry beyond what’s fair.)

[I also think of that psychology concept of “the good enough mother.” It’s not always about being perfect every second of your life. It’s about paying attention and acting where it really counts. I feel like people who grow up under an enormous burden of neglect or parental/mentor abuse have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. This notion that just trying is enough for a lot of people, that showing them they’re not alone is enough to make  difficult memories bearable. Because it’s the oppressive silence and apathy that tends to kills people, imo--not people who mean well. But Leonardo doesn’t really understand any kind of reciprocal or non-self-emptying model because the concept is beyond him. He has no experience with it beyond Comte and a select few humans he’s befriended.]

Let’s continue on this point of MC crying where he can’t see her, shall we? The reason this scares him so much is not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to make the effort. It’s precisely that he cares to the point of madness. It’s that he is legitimately convinced nothing he has to say, nothing that he can do, no part of him is enough to ease what she will have to trade away to stay with him. The core issue is not one of disregard or objectification, I find it to be more about his belief that he just isn’t enough. He doesn’t trust that anyone can love him to the point where just the sight of him or time with him can heal. And while there is a foolishness to this belief, it’s understandable when you consider where he’s coming from. You can call it selfishness, but it just feels involuntary--he has a lot of fear when it comes to love.

I mean Comte even says it himself? His words here always strike me: “I want you to understand, it’s because he cherishes you just as you are--more than he cares about his future or his well-being.”

Comte is openly identifying the way that Leonardo has a tendency to give more than is healthy. That Leonardo isn’t hesitating because his feelings are lacking, he’s doing it because he knows it’s going to hurt like a bitch trying to love her and never ask beyond what feels reasonable. (Spoilers: no request is reasonable. That’s the problem here. He’s convinced he deserves nothing.) Therefore turning her into a vampire to stay with him is--consequently, to Leonardo--out of the question. This is the literal hingepoint at which Comte and Leonardo divide; Comte simply tells MC he’ll take full responsibility for asking so much of her. He intends to make her happy with every single resource and skill he has at his disposal. Even if he doubts his ability or fears losing her to vampire rhetoric madness, he’d rather try than live with the regret and immediate loss. Leonardo is more resistant because of his dour outlook, that her fear of immortality is never going to be something that either of them can overcome. And/or he’s likely afraid she’s only going to regret being together after so long, and might succumb to the ridiculous sort of power/greed complexes vampires seem so attracted to by nature.

I think Leonardo is still coming to terms with the idea that he isn't alone in the world in a lot of ways, and I think he's also coming to terms with the idea that immortality does not equate to evil. Sure, human beings on average are probably more open to flexible modes of thinking and living compared to vampires--their maturity is in some ways guaranteed due to the instances they're forced to adapt to survive. However, just one look at the ruling class and oligarchies of all kinds (even just stubborn human beings) reveals how they are not immune to the same sort of megalomania, arrogance, and thoughtless violence purebloods/vampires are capable of.

So I guess I hesitate when it comes to the thought that he only loves her because she's human. If anything, I think he loves her for the fact that she's very rooted in reality--not quite so bound by the extremes that trouble him. It's one of the many reasons I believe Leonardo needs a lot of maturity and patience; the ability to differentiate between his panicked/overwhelmed/hurt reactions versus his calm is a skill in and of itself considering his capacity for concealment. To say nothing of getting him to slow down when this happens, too.

I suppose I think about it in a way that’s similar to how Napoleon’s main story narrative is framed. While Leonardo’s route doesn’t focus on the grandeur of being a former emperor, there is a clear insinuation here that he also craves normalcy? Just a little life, with a person he loves dearly, where he can rest and be himself for once. I think because he gives off such an appearance of steadiness, people fail to see that he is barely holding on--not to mention the kind of experiences he’s been deprived of (the exact security and understanding he so expertly emulates).

Closer to your question, it’s worth mentioning that Leonardo’s life goal for a while was the creation of an immortal human being--in that he fully recognized human beings could not offer what he needed as they were.

He loves humans because of their adaptability, their frequent desire to keep seeking out hope and making the best of the broken pieces they have. But then again, it has more to do with the nature of how frequently that sensibility occurs in humans vs vampires (and immortality in general): mortality does demand some level of necessity to change and grow. Which is one of the largest trauma points for him; the vampires around him just refused to grow up, always demanding at him like children and obsessed with their power complexes.

Thing is I also don't know enough about vampire society to know how correct this perceived ratio is. However, given Comte's similar avoidance of other vampires and general inability to live with them (he and Vlad were literal childhood best friends and Comte can't stand him anymore lmao) I think Leonardo may have more validity here than people give him credit for. Which begs the question--why did he quit trying to make a human immortal? What was it that stopped him? Was it the horror of what needed to be done to achieve it? Or would a potential companion start to fall more in love with the idea of immortality than they do with life itself/him? I think it’s a worthwhile question to ask, given the disdain he seems to aim at Shakespeare in particular--once human, but now emulates all of the violence and insatiability marked by vampirism.

This is where the transition from human to vampire/immortal contains another hingepoint: is Leonardo so incapable of finding a middle ground because he feels like any choice he makes will be a wrong one? Marry a human, deprive them of a normal love where they can grow old together. Marry a human and turn them, what if they are reborn with immortal wounds/psychological harm? What if time proves they get bored of him or hateful, what if they begin to act like the predatory purebloods he hates so much? Marry a pureblood/immortal, and be hounded by his family for heirs--risk being with somebody who will never love him or their children, and only inspire more misery in the world.

Does it make sense how this can really start to become an anxious downspiral for someone like him? How the personal insecurity and life history comes together to just compound stress endlessly?

That's the thing that's important here, I think. Leonardo just needs somebody who is open-minded, firm, and not easily deceived. If one takes a look at Leonardo's main story route, the whole reason everything goes to shit so disastrously is because MC stops listening at a critical point. Granted Leonardo could have been more forthcoming for sure, but when she started assuming Shakespeare was right instead of seeing how Leonardo was feeling/reacting, she responded in ways Leonardo wasn't prepared for. He never wanted to shake her faith or insinuate whatever she is is not good enough for him, and tbh I think Leonardo downspiraled because it was just the same thing all over again. What he is--a vampire and immortal--keeps ruining everything he wants with his life. 

[we-are-inevitable]

for the ask game, sarah and katherine are getting married, katherine sets up jack and davey at the wedding (kath may also have dated jack At Some Point and theyre now friends but its not necessary lol)

oh my god wait ok i absolutely love this ?? i know there a few fics like this already, but i love the idea of jack and davey not knowing each other beforehand! like maybe they've seen each other in passing and have like. been to the same events and parties and stuff, just bc they're both around sarah and kath all the time, but them not actually hitting it off until the wedding is such a good concept !! here's a little scene bc this is just too good not to write something for

***

"Why are you standing alone?"

The voice comes from his side. He turns and sees Katherine, and as soon as they lock eyes, Jack smiles wider than ever. She looks gorgeous like this, all done up pretty and wearing a dress more beautiful than any Jack's ever seen. After a moment spent admiring his best friend, Jack shrugs and lets out a soft laugh. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, babe. Okay? It's your wedding day, Katie- go have fun! There's no reason you need to not be grinding on your wife right now."

"Okay, yeah, but," Katherine pauses as she grabs both of Jack's hands, swinging his arms like a child. "My version of fun involves seeing you have fun. Your my man of honor! It's, like, required for you to have fun!"

Jack huffs. "And if I say I'm having fun standing here watchin' everyone make a fool of themselves?"

"If you aren't gonna dance," Katherine starts, tugging him as she begins walking backward. Jack rolls his eyes fondly, and allows Katherine to pull him closer to the head table. "Will you at least sit and drink? You can talk to Davey! Get to know him a bit!"

David- er, Davey- is Katherine's brother in law. Jack doesn't know him that well, but he's seen him at a few parties that the girls have thrown; he seems like a nice guy, but Jack doesn't even begin to know how to talk to him. They don't exactly run in the same social circles.

But, before Jack can get a word in edgewise, Katherine is already waving at David, who smiles back at her.

He isn't the only one sitting at the table. The majority of the wedding party is on the dance floor, but there are a few staggered along the table- mainly couples sitting down, either having a break from the party or waiting for a spot to clear out on the floor. He's not sure why David is alone, though. Apparently, he won't be for long.

"Davey!" Katherine calls as they walk closer. "I need assistance, 'cause someone is being boring. You know Jack, right?"

"I've think we've met once before," David grins as he stands, then holds a hand out for Jack to shake. As he does so, David says, "You were the drunk one on the counter at the New Years party a few years ago, right?"

Jack cringes. "Not a great first impression, I know," He laughs as he takes the seat next to David- it's not his, but the guy who it belongs to is one of Sarah's friends from college, and he's been on the dance floor all night, so Jack doesn't see him coming back anytime soon. He looks back at David, though, and raises a brow. "If we're bringin' up past meetings, though, I seem to have a certain memory about you at one of Albert's Fourth of July parties."

"I've never been able to do another jello shot," David says immediately, shaking his head. There's a serious expression on his face- one that makes Jack chuckle. "That was horrible. I can't believe Sarah made me do that."

At the mention of Sarah, Jack looks up, immediately finding Sarah and Katherine on the dance floor. He's not sure when Katherine left the head table, but he grins as he sees them together. "Can't be any worse than the shit Kath has gotten me into over the years."

When Jack looks back at David, he's smiling toward the dance floor. "They really are perfect for each other, huh?" David asks after a moment. "They're sweet."

"They're shitheads."

"That too," David agrees, laughing. "They've been conspiring for a while to, like, find me a wedding date. Like- during the wedding planning. Sarah had it in a binder. 'Find Dave a Date.' I hate her."

"I made the mistake of tellin' Katie I wouldn't be bringin' a plus one anymore, since the guy I was talkin' to stopped talkin' to me, and she literally forced me to download Tinder," Jack admits, then grins when David laughs even harder from beside him- they've both had a few drinks, of course they're both a little giggly. "It didn't work, obviously, but just know you ain't the only one they've been buggin' about finding a date."

David nods. He seems to take this information in, letting it sit for a few moments, before he holds up one finger, downs his glass- containing a custom cocktail that the girls created- and looks back at Jack as soon as he's done. "Let's dance, then."

"Huh?" Jack asks, more caught off guard than anything. "You- You want to dance?"

"Why not?" David asks. "Let's rub it in their faces a little bit, for all the shit they give us. All in good fun."

Jack considers it for approximately one second before smirking and saying, "I like you, Jacobs. Let's do this."

***

obviously they have fun at the wedding, keep talking afterward, and fall in love <3 this is such a stupid little set-up, but i loved the concept! thank you for the ask !!

[kekoma]

— hanamaki as your boyfriend.

hands belong in pockets, not in your pants unless you’re him. hope you enjoy.

hanamaki hours has now entered the chambers.

such an amazing man. would do many things for him, but you didn’t come here to know that.

you came here to see how life is like dating hiro, yeah? so let’s get into.

how you two ended up dating isn’t munch of a mystery.

makki  had s personality that attracts all kind of people without even trying so it wasn’t a surprise when he had been able to lure you in as well.

as for when he realized that he actually liked you was when mattsun had pointed out how much he spoke you to him. 

and he also picked up the fact that he started flirting with you more than before too yet it no longer had that playful feel around it— hiro was serious about wooing you over.

pretty sure he was the one to make the move on you. he isn’t someone that is shy so when he asked you if you would go to the amusement park with him— that’s when he became a bolder.

“how are you enjoying our date so far?”

“it’s actually amazing~ can we... huh? wait... our date?”

“well yeah. this is our first official date. heh i suppose this is my chance to confess to you now.”

everything went smoothly. he was quite confident that you’ll say yes since makki made time to learn everything about you and paid close attention to any and every small behavior along side gestures you revealed.

not much to really go on about so i’ll hop right into the actual stuff.

i’ve mentioned it before with issei so it’s only right i’ll mention it here too since takahiro gives off the same energy.

you two are DEFINITELY the kind of couple who jokes around about breaking up over the strangest things and it’ll be at random times too.

“my guy... who cuts your hair?”

“huh? what are you talking about cutie?”

“i can’t help but realize that your hair reminds me of an upside skate ramp. who are you paying because baby...”

“so i see you woke up and choose violence today... you know, i didn’t come to get roasted. i came here to love you y/n and this is what i get?”

“hold up! stay right there. i’m gonna go find my tech deck and do a few tricks.”

“i- yeah let’s break up. my lawyers will call yours and i’m taking the kids too. can’t believe i’m bullied right now.”

vv dramatic but it doesn’t bother you since you go along with his ways.

being serious? is considered rare within the relationship.

however, when it does occur then hiro can be deapan.

which i will take the time to discuss arguments with him briefly.

again, it’s something rare since the relationship is mainly playful and uplifting each other.

yet when you two get pretty heated, it can go two (2) ways.

a) he’ll opt for the silent treatment since he could say some really foul things that could possibly hurt you to the max and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. may even go as far to put a little more distance between you two so he can calm down and approach you in a better manner.

b) actually voices how he feels about towards the situation at hand and will probably sound extremely venomous when doing so. his main goal when speaking is getting his point across if you dismissed it and/or made it seem like he’s in the wrong.

up to you on how you would like to view his way of approaching arguments though.

but if you want to make it up to him then give makki space for a while before apologizing. also make sure the apology is honest because HE WILL know if you’re lying and if he catches you then it’s back to square one...

with that out the way, let’s return.

DEFINITELY is an supportive boyfriend that likes helping you grow as a person and reach your goals. since you do the same for him, it’s only fair plus he likes seeing the smile on your face once something is accomplished.

although he already has you— makki will still flirt with you. it’s just more cheesier.

“damn babe. is your father a priest because i’m feeling blessed when i’m with you.”

“shut up before i eat your food.”

“ooh~ that’s hot. guess your dad isn’t one. perhaps i’m dancing with the devil because you’re hot as hell.”

“... takahiro. sir please. stop.”

“okay okay but i think you should see this.” proceeds to shove his phone in your face, the front camera on to reveal you on the screen, “this is the prettiest person i’ve ever met.”

“you’re lucky you’re cute and that i love you.”

definitely does the hand in his pants thing in your house and in his (ofc).

even if they have pockets or you call him out for it, it’s just an automatic for him so you gotta accept it.

besides that, if you’re someone that LOVES to bake or occasionally bakes— best believe he’s the first to taste it all.

extra points to you if you make cream puffs.

is most definitely the kind of boyfriend who invest in matching items. clothing, jewelry, phone case, and etc. he finds the concept cute to be honest.

if you’re lucky enough, he’ll let you buy matching hair clips (something cute like Sanrio, fruits, animals or etc.) and lets you put them in his hair.

won’t compain if it seems extremely girly/cutesy. instead makki will take a bunch of pictures and post a few on his sns about how you two are matching.

also loves to make it known he has the most divine girlfriend in the world. dude is proud to be your boyfriend so ofc he’s gonna show off.

nicknames? yeah yeah nicknames real quick.

top ones for you are 🥁🥁 babe/baby, beautiful, cutie and lover girl occasionally makes it’s way around.

something a little extra: hiro will even call you his doll sometimes but its only brought up at random times. 

moving onto pda since it’ll also be a bit brief.

in love with PDA when it comes to you. 

although he tones it down when you two are in public so of course you get the basics, but something he’ll always do is wrap his arm around you or constantly interlock his fingers with both combined hands on his thigh.

as for private, it’s not as filtered. would say he’s a bit more touchy but i must advise... don’t keep your back turned to him for long because makki will use the opportunity to either smack or grab your ass while saying “i like your cut g.”

... can’t convince me he doesn’t do that. rip y/n’s ass.

last but not least— dates!

don’t think hanamaki is picky about what kind of dates you two go on.

but most dates are chaotic in a way. will deadass text you in the middle of the night or show up to your place be like “wanna film dance vids in a parking lot? or like walk around and eat good street food.” and you just gotta go with it.

however, when they aren’t that way or involving outside then some dates consist of staying indoors. probably baking together, watching a bunch of movies, doing his makeup and etc.

overall: 10/10

best relationship with constant fun <3 we love it here.

and that’s where i end this bc makki do be breaking my brain.

© all content belongs to kekoma 2020. do not repost, modify or translate.

[hermits-that-craft]

I don't know much about Sam (if you want me to censor it I can), so if I may ask, what's happening?

You don’t need to censor Sam, I just censor it bc if he finds this blogs it’s a big fuck you!

Anyways: to cut a long long story short as I can: In K*V (Kingdom Of Valour) Sam forced Grian to roleplay getting r*ped twice, makes r*pre jokes, refused to put warnings other than swearing on his videos, had people roleplay getting tortured, had a LOT of racism featured as a part of the series (most if not all of the monsters were asian in origin, racist undertones in YHS which is a different series) and knew he had a large child based viewership for this series. In YHS (Yandere Highschool) he didn’t put any warnings for the for the following: Gun violence, stabbings, blood, s*icide, gang violence, ab*se, abuse of power. He also knew that YHS had a mainly child based audience, and YHS was set in Japan, and a lot of it had really racist shit in it that flew under the radar because (although in cannon there was only one character who didn’t know Japanese and he was Grian) ‘the main characters don’t know Japanese so how would they know that it was racist’. He vilified speaking Japanese at all. Sam scripts the videos. From my knowledge, he scripted the encounters and then Grian and Taurtis got the basic outline, roleplaying through what happened while Sam kept the story going. It’s not good. To my knowlege, he also wrote everything alone, which makes it worse. Sam also treated his ‘employees’ terribly. That includes anyone who did a roleplay with him (so all the background characters and Grian and Taurtis)

So what the deal with now?

YHS and K*V both ended a few years ago, but Sam is only getting called out now. Sam has said that he will put warnings up for any future videos. He spent a long time complaining about freedom of speech, which is where I got involved, telling him what freedom of speech means over twitter. He then told me to dm him, I didn’t. He then Dm’d me after getting me to follow him, and we spoke for a bit. He has refused to apologise for the r*pe jokes, saying that he’s “not sorry for the jokes, i’ll keep making the same jokes” (a direct quote, my english teacher would be proud). He’s also practically stalking @/give-grian-rights here on tumblr and has raided her discord server with his sister. He refused to comment on why he’s doing that to her so I’m going to ask him again.

What’s been happening over with Give-grian-rights can be found here: https://give-grian-rights.tumblr.com/tagged/samgladiator-discourse

So that’s whats been happening so far! And I do want to give a fair warning: if you get some form of curiosity from this and you want to check out the series that i’ve mentioned (which i wouldn’t blame you if you did) I do feel the need to tell you this:

K*V genuinely traumatised me when it came out.  I was 12 at the time, and it was the first time I had heard about r*pe outside of here. I forgot I even watched it until I tried to watch the series again a few days ago due to how much it fucked me up. I genuinely believed that if I was r*ped i would be made fun of because of K*V. Don’t watch it. It’s been 4 years and it now fucks up my self worth due to those jokes.

[soopysoap]

Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?

HI. ANON? ILY.

They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here

so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)

most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior

mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character

uhh everyone else is kinda just there

like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess

like the leader of their group idk idk

estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes

Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.

Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"

Pip also hates Christophe

Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret

Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.

Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.

Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.

Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early

After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-

Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other

Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that

also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk

and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own

eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again

everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though

at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health

estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?

rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.

estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...

rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?

estella: you know thats not what i meant-

they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun

damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea

thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun

[savior-of-humanity]

cw for mentions of; therapy/therapists, family tension/drama below the cut

I have been feeling very down lately for......... a variety of reasons (which mainly involves stuff between me, my brother, and my mom and dad, mostly arguments and fights and some verbal abuse towards me and my little sister from my dad that’s been going on since last Christmas) and I've been wondering if I should see a therapist again

I had one before which I don't really remember what for, I think it was for school-related stuff and anxiety I think? But I don't know if I actually NEED one. But at the same time I don't want to mention it to my parents bc I feel like basically saying "haha I want to look into getting a therapist because of you :)" would.................not go down well with either of them lmao

and on top of that I am definitely not mentally (and probably physically) capable of getting a job anytime soon so my parents would be footing the bill for said therapy appointments if they were to ever actually happen aaaaaa

like. I just. I feel like my family’s slowly falling apart. My brother refuses to come around anymore because of what happened last Christmas (which tl;dr was basically a HUGE HUGE HUGE fucking argument/mental breakdown I had and I ended up staying at his place for a few days, and when I came back I had another mental breakdown and my parents took away the internet for a few days to keep me from talking to my brother), and my parents basically don’t think fondly of him anymore for whatever reason (I think my mom has this idea that he’s “trying” to “implant” toxic ideas into my head that she “only buys my love with gifts” or some other shit. although to be fair she’s a fucking antivaxxer lol) its just...................... yeah. its been rough

it doesn’t help that i feel sad and i haven’t been replying to threads as much as i want to, and i know it’s not a job and technically i don’t need to respond to threads but at the same time like. i want to reply to all the shit i owe!! but i cant because half the time i don’t have like the mental energy to write with them except for a few specific threads!!!!!! or i get distracted by other shit!!!!!!!! like i have stuff thats months old and i want to reply to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tl;dr i feel like big poo poo cringe rn

[lexicals]

Liner notes for An Echo, An Answer

Okay let's give this a go I guess? I may add more to this if I remember things too lol

Fair warning this is an exceedingly long post. It has ~subheadings~ (ooh). These cover: 

Fun Facts

Notes about mira

Notes on actual writing/plot

Post-canon tidbits (to be supplemented by actual post-canon oneshot coming maybe not soon but definitely at some point probably)

Needless to say this contains some BIG OL’ SPOILERS. Please enjoy o:

Some general Fun Facts™:

When I posted the first few chapters of this fic, I didn't have a fucking clue where it was going. I didn't even know how kravitz died until I'd already posted like 10 chapters lmao. This was a stressful way to write and I am never doing that again

In terms of inspo, I remember there being a fic in which taako was a ghost and kravitz was a medium (if anyone knows what fic this is PLEASE tell me I cannot find it) and I think I subconsciously took inspiration from this. Also I’d already written a vampire au and I wanted more undead boyfriend shenanigans, I looove playing with the liminal aspects of kravitz being a dead-but-not-dead character

There was a goof version of this fic where kravitz wasn't from the 1900s at all and died in like. The early 2000s or something. He died having come back from/at a costume party, people assumed he was an actual ye olde victorian ghost, and he decided to just lean into it. Cue fake accent. This was scrapped mainly because I loved the ‘sleepy hollow’-esque man-out-of-time shenanigans way too much and also because I know very little about the early-2000s US but do you know what I do know a moderate amount about? 1900s england

I have not read the cask of amontillado and I did not know what it was until seeing the memes, which was after I wrote the basement body twist. I just wanted to have a cheesy secret basement behind a bookcase c'mon it's a murder mystery in an old spooky house let me have this

Anyone who's followed my content for a while probably knows that I'm a big trans kravitz stan, but I dithered over making him trans in this fic a Lot. This was mostly down to self-doubt abt a story ft. a trans man living as his preferred gender in that time period would be deemed "unrealistic" but in the end I said fuck it I want this & I think that was the correct move. Also I read a fair bit about absolute legend dr james barry & that made me a bit more confident about committing to the decision bc these people did exist & they deserve their rep

You may notice that all of the major OCs created for this fic are women. This was an accident but also I stand by it bc I think it helps to balance out the fact that so much of the ‘screentime’ is being dominated by the male leads (inc. angus, who probably has the 3rd most screentime after taako & krav). They’re also all just, absolutely indomitable people. I have a type when it comes to OCs. Speaking of:

Notes on mira:

Mira was very much a character created to serve a purpose, but she ended up becoming a lot more than that and I'm glad people warmed up to her while reading as much as I did while writing. She wasn't going to have anywhere near as much screen time initially as she did in the end but I just loved her & how her relationship with kravitz turned out so much that I ended up writing a bunch of snippets with the two of them just for me, which eventually turned into the fragment chapters because I wanted to share how gd cute they were. Also they ended up being pretty useful for plot too lol

She and flossy were actually kind of the same character to begin with, being kravitz's best friend who he lived with in a kind of lavender marriage with neither of them interested in the other but being happy enough being friends & pretending. I scrapped this pretty early for a lot of reasons but she was still the cause of his death in that version, whether or not she actively killed him. I think there was a gambling debts element at some point

Whatever iteration of the story, she was always going to be the cause of death. I ruled out actual murder pretty early on because I didn't want to tell a story about a gay, black trans man getting murdered in cold blood in his own home, which in a ghost story only really leaves manslaughter, and an accidental killing by a loved one was an idea that followed pretty hot on the heels of that decision - it's very sad, but there's no hatred behind it, so it's not too outright depressing for what is most likely an audience with a high population of marginalised people. That bittersweetness of tone - sad events, but almost always with loving intentions behind or around them - ended up being a real touchstone for the story as a whole

In terms of post-canon content for her, or I guess just stuff that wasn't mentioned in-fic lol, my idea of how her life played out is that she was a pretty solid pillar of her community for a very long time. She took what kravitz said about thinking about what she wanted to add to the world very much to heart, and her answer was for her to be to as many kids and vulnerable people as possible what kravitz was to her. Obviously in the end she poured a lot of herself into helping others out of guilt for having killed a man who she likely remembered a little rose-tinted, but the intent was always there before that too

I don't know how much this came across in the actual text but mira is mixed race (Black/white), though she is Black-coded in terms of how people see and respond to her (please tell me if I’m using these terms incorrectly). I downplayed a lot of the racial elements of this fic bc I don’t feel like it’s my place as a white writer to delve into those areas, but it is an element of her story that ties into anti-miscegenation laws and general societal attitudes and I didn’t just want to entirely gloss over those aspects, bc that wouldn’t be right of me either, so I can only hope the balance ended up working here, and for kravitz’s story too. I did a lot of the writing for mira’s story before even really thinking about this angle which is something I’ve learnt from now bc oh boy should I have thought about it sooner lmao........

Anyway. I love her. I’m very glad that other people love her too

In terms of story writing:

I used to watch A LOT of crime dramas when I was younger, and got so familiar with the structure of them that I used to predict who the killer was going to be about a quarter of the way into them almost every time. Most of the time the killer is someone introduced early on as someone fairly innocuous, but still notable, before the narrative doubles down on a red herring suspect who's proven innocent about 3/4 of the way through, paving the way for the real twist killer. You see where I took my base structure from here

So, mira is introduced early on as someone important to kravitz, who was involved in his life (& death) somehow, but in general she's more suggested to be a victim than a culprit - because of course she is, she’s a child and she loves him! I'm only just realising now that this is a "person of interest" style plot twist here. (Remember what I said about the crime dramas? Just so many of them.) But then in the end she suffered just as much as anyone else, so I guess you could say she's both a victim and a culprit, even by accident.......

Structurally I'm actually really happy with how this turned out. In my head (BECAUSE OH BOY I DID NOT WRITE ANY OF THIS DOWN! Or at least not in a coherent way) the story was split into three mini arcs - the enemies section ending with the kitchen blowout, the friends section ending with the the bay window scene, and the lovers section which covers the rest of the fic. This ended up integrating really well with the main mysteries/pulls of the story - the first being the will-they-won't-they (they will, it’s fanfiction, but how?) of the romance element, and then once that's tapering off starting to dig more into the murder mystery element, which had been more of a subplot up until then, while the romance moves onto the back burner a little bit. The dual genre was an interesting challenge to try to balance and I think it turned out pretty well!

While I'm on this, setting up my breadcrumb trails for the plot twists was simultaneously very stressful and very rewarding. Trying to keep things obvious enough to be noted but subtle enough not to give the whole game away? Gave me so many headaches lmao. I actually thought for sure that some people would twig about the body in the cellar sooner than ch42, but then actually in ch42 way more people picked up on fisher's sniffing around than I expected. Clues are hard!! But at the same time seeing the handful of people who called mira as an adoptive daughter, or the fact that krav fell down the stairs, or the fact that mira's og parents were involved was very cool and it made me very happy to see people picking up the little stuff and putting it together

QUITE A FEW PEOPLE SAID NICE THINGS TO ME ABOUT HOW CLEVER THE PIANO TUNING ANGLE WAS. I CANNOT TAKE COMPLETE CREDIT FOR THIS. IT WAS A PLOT HOLE THAT I SUDDENLY REGISTERED OUT OF NOWHERE WHILE I WAS IN THE SHOWER & THEN ENDED UP WORKING IN SO I GUESS IT TURNED OUT FOR THE BEST & MADE ME LOOK VERY SMART BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Something else that a couple of people have noted & that I only realised in the process of writing was the fact that a lot of kravitz's ghostliness in this fic has the potential to be read as an allegory for chronic illness/disability. This was something I only caught onto myself while I was writing the scene on the porch at the end of ch42 when I was writing kravitz's dialogue and was like..... oh shit that's a thing huh. Bc he is, y'know, quite literally housebound and limited in what he can do in a lot of ways, which is part of the reason I really tried to hammer home in that chapter that even though the fic ends with him being 'cured' (because that ending was always the intention from day one before I ever thought about this reading), they would have been happy together regardless. Love is not conditional!

Post-canon thoughts:

Taako and kravitz go into the house. Kravitz says oh my god what is that smell. Taako says he made blueberry pie earlier. Kravitz says okay we're putting bedroom fun times on hold I need that RIGHT NOW

Kravitz eats way too much too fast and spends the rest of the afternoon curled up on the sofa with a horrible stomach ache. He is not used to that much rich food. Taako is not impressed with this

He rolls his eyes and they watch a movie and talk instead and get to the bedroom fun times later

On the topic of food you Know krav ends up with a bit of a tummy from taako spoiling him. He looks & feels great and taako loves how comfy he is

Also on the topic of bodies I think krav does a lot of experimenting initially with what feels good now that he has a lot more freedom in presentation. He likes to mess with his hair a lot. Dresses and skirts are still a bad feel but a little makeup is fun sometimes. Kravitz living his best undeath 2k18 (I took so long to finish this fic it’s set 2 years ago now lmaoooo)

Kravitz lets taako drive him somewhere exactly Once before vowing NEVER AGAIN taako's driving privileges are REVOKED kravitz is going to get magnus to teach him to drive instead.

Taako says what the hell are you gonna do if you get pulled over you are a hundred and thirty and also dead you can't get a license. (He could get him a fake one, but he's not going to, because he's being petty about kravitz insulting his driving.) Kravitz says fine show me yours then. Taako says no but kravitz steals it anyway. A minute later he’s produced his own undoubtedly fake license out of nowhere complete with a fake DOB and a very nice picture

Taako says gasp kravitz that's ILLEGAL. Also you know you have to make this picture worse if you want it to be convincing right

Kravitz starts giving angus music lessons. Angus isn’t a natural by any means but he works hard and that gets him a long way

OH ACTUALLY I SHOULD PROBABLY SAY SMTH ABOUT THE REUNIONS HUH. GINNY THESE ARE FOR YOU:

Maybe it's weird to start with barry but the poor man has to have a sit down. He has so many questions. Kravitz what is the afterlife like it's fine you can tell him just give him a hint please and also can he maybe get like. A blood sample or something. No that's not weird it's for science what are you talking about taako bring him back

Kravitz is fully expecting lup to wreck his shit, and she acts like she's going to right up until she's close enough to give him a big ol hug instead. She says she missed him a lot & that he's much nicer to hug now that he's not a freezy boy, and kravitz goes ;_;

It's a very tight hug though. In some ways it is still a punishment

Also could he maybe hook her up with this death goddess of his? Lup would like to be immortal too, kravitz. Kravitz can you get a resume to your boss and could you write lup a reference while you're at it

Angus!! He’s so happy to have his other uncle back!! There’s a new caleb cleveland book he needs to read so they can talk about it!! All of this after a lot of crying and hugging.

I think at some point they do go over to visit mira’s descendants. Taako says hi remember me? I brought my boyfriend to visit! Unnamed great great grandchild #1 is like um he looks kind of familiar. Kravitz says well yes there is kind of a reason for that and it’s because I’m in that picture on the wall over there, hi I’m your great great grandfather nice to meet you

The family is a little weirded out by this at first but eventually they’re like. Well alright I guess do you want a coffee

Kravitz says yes please god do you know how many people keep offering me tea

He babysits for the youngest ones sometimes. The kids love him and the adults are happy to give him stories in exchange for his time, seeing as that’s all he asks for

Taako says ask them for money and contribute to this household kravitz. Kravitz says absolutely not they’re family and you’re already getting my youtube ad revenue

Yes kravitz has a youtube channel and is also very involved in the local music scene. He can’t do anything that would technically be classed as interfering with the flow of the living world but no-one said he can’t anonymously share some of his music here and there

Johann gets him a gig conducting for his orchestra every now and then. Kravitz is fucking ecstatic and finally gets to conduct some of his own pieces in front of an audience. Maybe they actually get to that biography johann mentioned at some point. Idk I haven’t thought about that part too much

Okay I wrote WAY more than I meant to here but I hope at least some of it was interesting and feel free to ask me questions if there are elements I’ve missed off of here that you want to hear more about! (Bearing in mind some of the answers may be “actual post canon content coming soon/later” lol.) As you can tell I have a lot of things to say about this fic & I’m always more than happy to hear that people are interested!! o:

[fantastic-bby]

Books & Poems I love

Hello, I am just dumping my favourite books and poems here because I like them and I want people to read them too bcs they're cool. Disclaimer: I haven't read some of these books in a REALLY long time, so the explanations might be a bit off since this is mostly what I remember from when I had read them. All will be under the cut and I hope someone out there finds these as enjoyable as I do!

Books

1. Huntress by Malinda Lo

Nature is out of balance in the human world. The sun hasn’t shone in years, and crops are failing. Worse yet, strange and hostile creatures have begun to appear. The people’s survival hangs in the balance.

To solve the crisis, the oracle stones are cast, and Kaede and Taisin, two seventeen-year-old girls, are picked to go on a dangerous and unheard-of journey to Tanlili, the city of the Fairy Queen. Taisin is a sage, thrumming with magic, and Kaede is of the earth, without a speck of the otherworldly. And yet the two girls’ destinies are drawn together during the mission. As members of their party succumb to unearthly attacks and fairy tricks, the two come to rely on each other and even begin to fall in love. But the Kingdom needs only one huntress to save it, and what it takes could tear Kaede and Taisin apart forever.

I cannot express how much I adore this book. It's so well-written and the entire book feels like such an adventure to read. I have to warn everyone who will read this that it is quite violent. I also love the WLW inclusion which is carried throughout the story. It's also mentioned in the beginning that Kaede does not want to marry a prince because she could never marry a man. It's filled with lots of romance and it's fantasy because I'm a sucker for fantasy reads.

My sister had bought this book for me after I had lost my first copy and my cat peed on my second copy. The first time, I had bought it from a Big Bad Wolf sale in about 2014. The second, I ordered it through Kinokuniya, but I'm pretty sure you can get it off of Amazon as well.

2. Teardrop by Lauren Kate

Never, ever cry . . .

Seventeen-year-old Eureka won't let anyone close enough to feel her pain. After her mother was killed in a freak accident, the things she used to love hold no meaning. She wants to escape, but one thing holds her back: Ander, the boy who is everywhere she goes, whose turquoise eyes are like the ocean.

And then Eureka uncovers an ancient tale of romance and heartbreak, about a girl who cried an entire continent into the sea. Suddenly her mother's death and Ander's appearance seem connected, and her life takes on dark undercurrents that don't make sense.

Can everything you love be washed away?

This is also a book that I've read multiple times. I've even read the sequel, Waterfall, but I don't think I actually got around to finishing it since I bought it right before my exams. Another love and fantasy novel, it covers a lot of grieving and pain that Eureka goes through after losing her mother and at one point, she actually wishes it was her that had died during the accident.

Her relationship with Ander is quite sudden since he just shows up out of nowhere and just happens to know practically everything about her. I, personally, enjoy this book out of the amount of angst that it's filled with. It's very well-written and I still have the first copy that I bought at the same Big Bad Wolf sale that I had gotten Huntress. I think I had gotten the sequal at Kinokuniya as well (?), but I'm not entirely sure because it's been a really long time.

3. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

No one knows why Juliette's touch is fatal, but The Reestablishment has plans for her. Plans to use her as a weapon. But Juliette has plans of her own. After a lifetime without freedom, she's finally discovering a strength to fight back for the very first time--and to find a future with the one boy she thought she's lost forever.

Another very angsty book. It centres around Juliette, a girl who, for some reason, kills everyone she touches. It's also written in First POV and in the format of a journal. It feels more personal because some of the lines are striked through to show a thought that Juliette had in the moment of writing that she decided to replace with a different approach instead.

The beginning is basically Juliette being locked away in some sort of a prison because of her 'gift' and she writes to keep herself from going crazy, but then one day some guy is put into the same cell as her. It's another romance novel and also a kind of superhero novel It also gets pretty... ahem... seggsy... at one point, but it's a good read.

I've read the entire series aside from Restore Me. I have it, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. Shatter Me is also from the same Big Bad Wolf sale as the other two lol. Juliette is also trapped in a love triangle at one point, but I won't get into it. It also gets a bit violent, but slightly less graphic than Huntress is and is also another 'self-discover' kinda book. (can you see a theme here that I read lol)

4. Winter's End by Jean-Claude Mourlevat

Four teenagers escape from their prison-like boarding schools to take up the fight against the tyrannical government that murdered their parents fifteen years earlier. But only three of the friends make it safely to Jahn's restaurant, the headquarters of a secret resistance movement, where they discover the astonishing power that one voice can have in the fight for freedom.

As the battle rages, the three friends are in a race against time to save their companion, who has been forced to participate in a deadly, ancient game for the amusement of his captors. Will this new generation prevail, or are they destined to meet the same grisly fate as their parents?

This is also extremely angsty. It's also pretty violent as well, so that's a warning for whoever will read this. Once again, well-written, nice flow to the story and I just really like this book. There's a lot of uncovering in the book that makes you go HUH because the four students end up uncovering a lot about their government and the secrets that involve the four of them.

It has a very heavy dark tone to it, which I really enjoy. It's a bit different from the other three which is less fantasy and more of a dystopian book. It's a very heroic, determination feeling that follows the students as they journey throughout the book. Also something that follows the students are a group of dog-men... things... that I'm pretty sure I actually had small nightmares imagining when I had read this in around 2013 or 2014.

Poems

Disclaimer: Half of these were poems I did essays on in high school aside from L. These are my illustrations of it and they're the ones that stood out to me when I had first read them.

1. Daffodils by William Wordsworth

I read this in high school when I was taking English Literature. It's a poem that Wordsworth wrote after his wife had passed away. I love the way it's written and William Wordsworth is one of my favourite poets. It's filled with the feeling of being lost and rediscovering the joys of the small things in life. There's a lot of imagery that refers to the flower, daffodil, and overall, it's just a a very soft themed poem.

I think the reason this poem stood out to me was because I was feeling a bit lost at the time I read it (the end of highschool) and I was desperately trying to find something I could relate to in some way.

2. Winter by Andrew Young

Another one that contains a lot of imagery. It's a poem about the beauty of Winter and how, while it's seen as a dark and gloomy season, it has hidden beauties that you can see if you're able to look past the initial image of it.

This poem in particular, I'm pretty sure I have a soft spot for in my heart mainly because of the soft spot I have for Winter in general.

3. London by William Blake

This is a more dark toned poem. It covers what old London used to be like with the raging poverty at the time. A lot of child labour and sex workers that would struggle with making money when they would accidentally get pregnant.

It's quite a depressing poem that I like because of the dark undertone and I, personally, really enjoy William Blake's works.

4. L by Bernice Chauly

L is a poem about how her daughter had cut her hair right after going to the hairdressers. While Chauly's daughter is crying when she yells at her, Chauly is reminded of when she had done something similar when she had just turned five years old. She thinks back to it and remembers that, at the time, all she wanted was to see her late father.

This is also more heavy set and it makes me think of the way children must feel when they lose their parents at such young ages.

[taziidcvil]

My Thoughts on RWBY’s new intro and chapter 1

This is going to be long so is there’s someone or something specific you want to read, I’d suggest using ctrl+f

WHITLEY

ngl i just want to start with my boy bc I’m so glad to see him back. Half of this is speculation and theorizing with no real merit ngl, but it’s something I’ve been thinking of for awhile

First of all this is a,,, very uncertain and conflicted look on his face here. He has his arm wrapped around his stomach and he looks very pensive. imo, Whitley’s going to be faced with a choice, one with no easy answer for him. And an answer that

might not bode well for the schnee family

Those clouds are, of course, Salem’s. Which makes me fear that Whitley may fuck up badly, and end up siding himself with the wrong people and it is likely going to be up to Weiss to bring him back.

Whitley isn’t a fighter. and if Whitley does cause the downfall of the Schnee family, he wont be at use for long. And once Whitley outlives his usefulness, there is no reason for her to keep him around.

But there’s a line that has been in my head for the last couple days. Namely Whitley’s line of ‘what could one huntsman do that an army cannot?’

Again, Whitley is no huntsman, but what it boils down to is ‘what can one person do?’ And I think Whitley is going to have to answer that question himself. 

I do think that Whitley is going to have to act at some point. Do something that puts him out for the greater good. I don’t expect him to suddenly join the fight, but I do think he will have his Pacifica moment. Where there’s something that he is physically capable of doing, but emotionally and psychologically it’s a mountain to him. Something only he can do, and Whitley will have to be the one person who changes the outcome of something dreadful. And most likely, i do believe it will involve Weiss

NORA & REN & RENORA (but mostly Nora)

ngl i am STOKED for this divide here

I love renora. it is one of my favourite ships. probably my third favourite i have to admit. 

what I don’t like is how its been going lately. while i do have the initial shipper reaction of ‘YES’ to the kiss, nora forcing it on ren sits wrong with me. Even more so their song last volume. It’s a bop of a song, true, but so much of it is nora telling ren to tell the truth only for her to tell him to love her. and while i’m sure he does love her, nora’s forcing it out of him and assuming is not healthy for either of them. Ren needs to come to terms with his own feelings, and these two need a wedge between them for a moment to develop separate from one another. 

and while i think ren will come to understand and accept how he feels

i think nora might give up on the pursuit and will put their mission above her feelings

But I do absolutely love the focus on Nora and I hope that’s a sign we are getting her backstory this volume. Nora is going to be a major piece in all of this and I personally cannot WAIT

I will say tho that I think her siding with Ruby’s plan is a little,,, strange to me. She was all gungho for protecting mantle last volume and i find it odd that she’s not on team ‘protect mantle first’. i get that she needs to be in that group because of what is shown in the trailer, but personally i would prefer her reluctantly forced into that group because of her usefulness. to keep the devive, that would mean ren would need to side with the ‘protect everyone’ but I don’t think it would have been that hard to spin his mindset that way

I’ve seen some talk about winter maiden nora and, while i personally would have preferred it, giving the power to penny only to give it to nora next volume is a little,,, cheap to me. ignoring the fact that it would likely mean penny would have to die and i am not about that life

i still think penny shooting lightning bolts at nora to power her up would be OP as FUCK tho

CLOVER

NO I AM NOT USING THE ONE SCREENCAP OF CLOVER THIS VOLUME YOU CAN’T MAKE ME

WARNING: Talk about dead bodies. Both fictional and real.

now i won’t lie, i am avoiding that shot like the fucking plague so I’m working mostly from memory here

I have seen bodies hours after someone has passed. Unless the body has something what effects the colour, here’s a greyness to the skin. Yes, this includes all skin colours. there’s also a distinct blue colour to the lips though clover doesn’t,,, exactly have distinctive lips. 

But seeing his body gave me the same nauseous and horrified sensation as seeing a long dead body. Of course not nearly as strong as he’s fictional and it’s animated, but it was the same. that sick greyness I’d expect from a body. ngl that shit,,, i wont say it triggered me, but it got damn close. it brought back memories and left me feeling very sick. It’s obvious he is very dead.

but even with that feeling, that didn’t stop me from being very fucking confused when I realised where the body was.

Now there’s a number of reasons that clover’s body would be there

They could have tried to save him and failed. They’re in a state of emergency and all the doctors are brought to one collective spot to deal with the potential rise of people needing medical attention. Maybe Atlas just works this way who the fuck knows. Most likely, they just wanted the Ace Ops to witness James and having Clover there just makes it easier to do that. but jfc if you’re going to have bodies in the medical area can you not install curtains??

ngl if i was at the hospital and they had a dead body uncovered and in full view of my room i would be 

I didn’t want to go back and see that image again, so i poked around the clover tag to see what people were saying in case i’m dumb and missed something. but i think if they were trying to bring clover back, they’d make it more obvious. and they sure as hell wouldn’t have coloured him that way. but I don’t blame people for being confused about if he’s dead or not when they literally put him in with people getting medical treatment and give him a patient number

but talking about Clover fuck i miss you so much brings me to

THE STAFF OF CREATION (with mentions of ‘that’ theory)

Ozpin: [mentions that using the staff will make Atlas fall]

Joanna: [talks about plans to move mantle citizens into atlas’ crater]

While it is debatable what the staff will be used on, I think we can all agree this bitch is coming down. Personally I think it’s how the volume will end. with the staff used, and atlas dropping. It’s a fantastic cliffhanger but fuck imma be so mad if that’s really where it ends. 

let me,,, get to that theory first. we all know which one i mean.

I’m not going to lie, i haven’t read much into it. mainly because i’d rather not get my hopes up and be pleasantly surprised than get my hopes up and be disappointed. Do i think it’s plausible? Well... after steven universe i think anything is possible. If it has even the slightest merit behind it I wont rule it out.

Do i think it will happen? debatable. i don’t think it was their plan but i also wouldn’t be surprised if they added it after the reaction to clover last year. but i’m not holding my breath. i’m leaning far closer to ‘no’ but i’m open to being wrong Do i want it to happen? god yes i fucking miss him okay i’m sorry i’m selfish i love my dumb fisherman himbo

the problem though is, if it can be done, there needs to be some form of payment. I know there’s been talk about a life for a life, and these are the options that come to mind: James: Don’t like this. James is a character rooted deep in the story and I think trading his life for Clover’s is,,, questionable. idk something about this doesn’t sit right. Especially when he has far more history with qrow than clover did. Tyrian: this feels cheap. trading a villain for a hero? that’s not even a payment, that’s hitting two birds with one stone. I do believe Tyrian wont survive the series, but this way is,,,, very cheap Qrow: pppppppppffffffttttt honestly this would just be a dick move that’s some monkey paw shit right there

either way, reviving clover would drop atlas and put both the people on atlas and under in danger. so the question is, is reviving clover worth it.

ethically, no. it’s not. one life will never outweigh thousands.  but would my selfish ass rather risk thousands of lives for one comfort character? you bet your sweet ass i would. it’s fiction, see if i care. storywise tho, we probably shouldn’t

But there’s nothing in the OP to suggest that Qrow is after the staff. and while it could be left for volume 9, i don’t see this volume lasting without dropping atlas after this volume started with the reminder that’s what would happen.

but ruby is shown reaching for it. (also is it just me or do those look like nuckelavee arms?) which makes me wonder just what she could want it for. Sure, she could be reaching to protect it, and that’s highly possible. but if we’re already talking about bringing characters back, i would not be too surprised if ruby considers the same idea. Namely with summer (though pyrrha is also an option). If she does consider that though, I don’t think she’ll succeed. and I doubt she’d really try if she knows atlas would fall. 

though if she wants to use it to save the world, if there’s something she can make with it that will stop salem, then i might believe she’d risk it. but even then i have a hard time believing she’d risk peoples lives.

but who else could and can get her hands on the staff?

PENNY

our sweet and dear penny, who has already suggested giving herself over to salem. and who is shown divided and framed opposing the team

While her being hacked is an option, and one i think james would consider letting watts do, from a story point I believe it’s far more interesting if penny is the one to decide this for herself.

Penny is a protector. And she wants to protect everyone. And one way she could possibly do that is by cooperating with salem. And with that gd whale having docking stations and a whole damn room inside it, penny going to salem fits with the whole ‘being eaten by a whale’. 

and if penny is the cause of atlas dropping, that girl is going to be dealing with even more guilt than she already has.

JAMES

me: okay, i know james shooting oscar was a big dick move, but james has done so many good things too. imo it’s questionable writing, but james’ stance is understandable. he’s still a good person-

listen. listen. listen. I... i don’t know what the fuck the writers are doing with this one. it would have been just as easy to arrest him but we just... gun happy i see. but james being gun happy makes me very nervous for qrow and that ‘if you were one of my men, i’d have you shot’. qrow’s out for james’ blood, but I don’t think qrow could ever actually kill him. and normally i don’t think james could try and kill qrow, but these are,,, not normal circumstances, and james has a semblance that will absolutely help him pull the trigger

i still love james. and i still understand both sides of the fight. and i still believe james is a good person. there’s so many good things james has done, but fuck if the writers aren’t trying their hardest to make the fandom hate him. and for the most part, it’s working. my gf already hates him lol

when all is said and done, there’s a lot that james is going to feel guilt for, but it’s guilt he’s willing to bare

while i understand the reason behind making james the bad guy, i will admit that i’m bitter about it. namely because in volumes 2 and 3 there were so many people expecting james to be bad, only for him to prove himself as a good person. and now the story is doing its best to take that back

THE ACE OPS

Again, one of the main reasons i think they put clover there and confused the fuck out of people. I think there’s going to be a divide in the ace ops, and i think we see which side people fall on here

harriet and vine are going to be harder to turn, but i think this moment just planted some uncertainty in elm and marrow. I dont think it’ll be an instant thing, but this isn’t something they’re going to forget. this is going to bother them for a good long while. yeah, the writers are trying to turn the fandom on james, but storywise it’s planting the seeds of betrayal and giving the ace ops a reason to switch sides. but i don’t think they’ll come into fruition until the end of the volume

And while we’re talking on betrayal, Winter is edging herself closer too. but while i think she’ll turn faster than the ops, i also think she’ll be the most understanding and caring of james of them all. 

Yang vs Ruby

pitting them together is honestly a good thing for yang’s character. they still love each other. they’d still fight for each other.

they may see things differently, and they may go their own paths, but there’s no animosity. they can work together and have each others backs, even when they don’t agree. 

and that’s something team rwby/ornj and friends and james/aceOPs need to work towards

Yang was never happy with Ruby keeping secrets, and personally i think it’s good for her to voice it and go a path she sees as right

Tyrian (and nuts and volts)

we’ve seen a lot of tyrian’s smiles. he is a very animated person who broadcasts his emotions. in fact, the only time he ever quiets down is in front of salem

this smile is the most ‘you bitch you’re lucky mum is here’ smile ive ever fucking seen on this man grhueiorfubgnjfroe

look, i don’t think tyrian and arthur are romantically involved. but i do think tyrian is fond of arthur. whether that’s romantic or platonic is up for debate, but tyrian has always spoken foldly of arthur. tyrian obviously does not like cinder or her crew, though he does love picking on them while i dont think he has that level of dislike for hazel, hazel is the sort of person to not like unnecessary killing, so i don’t see them getting close. Arthur crafted him his tail, and he organized a plan where tyrian got to murder often. out of the bunch, i think it’s rather obvious arthur is the person closest to him, and I also think he’s absolutely looking forward to seeing arthur again

Emerald/Mercury/Neo

first of all, FUCKING FINALLY! MY KIDS HAVE NEW OUTFITS! now there’s things i like and don’t like about mercury’s. personally, i like his old outfit better, but he NEEDED new clothes so i don’t miss it! Emerald is looking GOOD!! i don’t give a fuck what anyone says, she looking fine as hell

hazel tho, what the FUCK did they do to your hair?? who the fuck did this?? how DARE YOU

that’s all i have to say about hazel bc boy is quiet but WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?? while we talking about new looks, winter is looking FIIIIINE too

Neo is, very obviously, finding this whole situation fucked up. i know a vast majority of us thought Neo would turn on Cinder, but at this point i believe she was content with finding a new reason to live. but the more cinder brushes her aside, and the more she gets to know salem, she’s looking more and more disturbed and annoyed with it all. 

emerald is an obvious turn. with her whole Aladdin tale, i wont be surprised if she takes the lamp from salem and uses the last question. (i’ll admit though that i’m curious what salem’s question(s) is). now i still think neo will want to kill ruby, but i don’t see her staying sided with salem and cinder.  i will say tho that I find it fucking HILARIOUS that salem has no fucking idea who she is. how much of cinder’s plan did salem even know? did she know about roman? did she know about mercury and emerald before they went to pick up her silver eye’d ass? Salem cut Cinder down for ‘acting without salem’s say so’ but how much of that has cinder already been doing before now pffffttt

but mercury’s the only one that isn’t showing that much hint to turning. and personally, that makes sense. Mercury’s been shown plenty of times being disturbed by it all. he’s always stood beside emerald, equally frightened or distrusting. but if salem is calm and mercury’s in no real immediate danger, mercury has always tried to play with the big boys. he has a better poker face than emerald and neo, but he doesn’t belong there nearly as much as he pretends to.

but mr pokerface isn’t perfect. the moment he notices cinder, his attention goes back to emerald, and he watches her. he’s told her before that cinder doesn’t care for them. he’s tried to break that to her, and when they come to face cinder he’s not happy. less so when emerald instantly runs back to her. he knows emerald’s goiing to get hurt, and while he’d like to think he’d be the type to say ‘i told you so’, he’s not going to take pleasure in seeing her hurt

but one think about emerald is that she reminds me a lot of nora. they were both starved and homeless, and were ‘saved’ by someone else. but cinder is no lie ren, and emerald’s gone a very different path. not to mention her ‘saviour’ came much later in her life, and nora is on equal footing with ren and has saved him right back. but nora has been shown to empathise with mantle and its condition. which makes me wonder if emerald will too. she described the attack on vale as ‘sad’. So emerald, how will you feel when you take in the situation in mantle?

CINDER

i’ll be honest, i don’t like cinder. I’m sorry ;n; she just never interested me. she has a nice design, but other than that i just,,, never clicked with her. but i am happy we’re getting a backstory for her. mostly because it’s damn well due, and for her fans. y’all enjoy your food

that is,,, where i’m going to leave it. it’s late and i need to sleep. there’s probably things i missed, and if there is i’ll add to it in the morning. but these are the immediate thoughts that come to mind.

please feel free to discuss. and remember these are just personal opinions and thoughts, many of which probably will lead to nothing. 

[sheyshen]

My FanFic compilation

I figured I have written quite a lot over the years and especially this year, that putting together something like this, that has everything I’ve written so far in one place all organized would be a good idea! So please! Enjoy!

There’s quite a lot so they’ll all be listed under the read more, They’re all organized by series (fairy tail, swtor, mass effect, dragon age, greedfall, anthem, and smut fics) as well as by pair with a short description, starting with the first fic I wrote (fairy tail) and the latest (fictober 2020 prompts)  :D

Fairy Tail: (Leading off with this because it’s my first ever fic) -Shall We Dance, Pair: Laxus/Lucy: 38 chapters, Finished https://archiveofourown.org/works/4351550/chapters/9870611

Swtor: Main fic: -Breaking the Bad News (aka BTBN), multi-pair, main focus is shan trio: currently 70 chapters, Ongoing. https://archiveofourown.org/works/9340892/chapters/21164699

Side Fics: Kara Hawke’s Backstory(s):

Pre-Class story: -A Smuggler’s Tyr, no pairing, intro to Kara’s first crew: Currently 1 chapter, Complete (Might add more eventually)

During Class Story: -Adventure of a Lifetime, no pairing focus but will mention Darmas, meant to build on what we have of the in game class story: Currently 1 chapter, hiatus (plan to work on more with 2021)

Post Class Story: -Hawke Legacy: While Kara Sleeps, mentioned Theron/Kara, focus’s on Koro delivering the news of Marr’s ship being attacked to Theron. 1 chapter, Complete -Downtime, Theron/Kara, Post arrival on Odessen but prior to chapter 9 on kotfe, 1 chapter, complete -Desert Reunion, Theron/Kara, Introducing Kara’s dad and bringing him into the Alliance, 3 chapters, complete -A Moment, Theron/Kara, but starting to poke at the idea of Arcann being involved, 1 chapter, complete

Prompts: -Fictober 2018, day 1: Can you feel this?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, post-umbara/pre-copero so theron’s only mentioned -Fictober 2018, day 3: How can I trust you?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, post-Nathema, and a bit on the trio +kids, dealing with Theron’s return -Fictober 2018, day 5: Take what you need, mentioned Kara/Caleb (her first husband from her original crew), takes place before the class stories, short story about a job she had done -Fictober 2018, day 6: I’ve heard enough, this ends now. Kara/Arcann (sometime pre-nathema so sorry Theron’s not really in this one), bit of covering a reoccuring nightmare Kara had for a few months -Fictober 2018, day 7: No Worries, we still have time, Kara/Arcann/Theron (Arcann’s not present tho, just mentioned), little bit of the pair of workaholics +kids taking a break -Fictober 2018, day 12/13: Who could do this/Try harder next time, Kara/Arcann/Theron & Koren/Trey (Will have this in both pairs), sometime post-nathema probably, little adventure with Kara involving having to save her sons -Prompt: I Care about You, Theron/Kara, little bit of a rebuild of their kotfe reuinion -Prompt: Come Cuddle, Kara/Arcann/Theron, Short fluff story of one of their movie nights with some bad jokes -Promptless idea: Arcann Singing, Kara/Arcann/Theron, I’ve always had this idea that Arcann can sing at least as well as Senya does, so here’s a bit of him singing to kara’s boys, and also kara. -Fictober 2019, day 2: Just Follow me, I know the area, Kara/Arcann mainly, post onslaught so Theron’s involved but just not featured in this prompt. Little bit of a romantic night out. -Fictober 2019, day 3: Now? Now you listen to me?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, follow-up to the fictober 2018 day 6 prompt, and resolution to the chronic nightmares Kara was having -Fictober 2020, day 7: Yes I did, what about it?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, post-nathema, small bit of theron and kara heart to heart about a choice she made (involving Valss because I’m still bitter we didn’t get a save option for him) and both prosthetic users in the trio are sore (maybe there’s a storm moving in) -Fictober 2020, day 15: Not interested, thank you, Kara/Arcann/Theron (Arcann isn’t present for this), one of a handful of reminders that Kara and Theron are parents, connor just really wants to make his lightsaber -Fictober 2020, day 18: You don’t see it?, Kara/Arcann/Theron (post umbara pre Nathema so theron is only mentioned), something of a pep-talk from arcann.

Nora Hawke/Mikael Hawke: -That Time Back When We First Met, backstory on how my sith warrior and pub trooper met before they started their relationship: currently 2 chapters, hiatus (plan to work on more with 2021) -Fictober 2018, day 4: Will that be all?, little bit after they first met, can be considered a continuation chapter... technically

Koren Gates/Trey Hawke: -Fictober 2018, day 2: People Like you have no imagination, Koren/Trey & Shey/Torian (will put it for both pairs), little adventure of my bounty hunter squad +sith BF -Fictober 2018, day 12/13: Who could do this/Try harder next time, Kara/Arcann/Theron & Koren/Trey (Will have this in both pairs), sometime post-nathema probably, little adventure with Kara involving having to save her sons -Fictober 2020, day 13: I missed this, Koren/Trey, bit of fluff between my overly caring hunter who could use a day off and his grump of a sith boyfriend. -Fictober 2020, day 28: Do I have to do everything here?, Kara/Arcann/Theron, Arcann and Koth decide to play a co-op holonet game, with only minor arguing. -Fictober 2020, day 30: Just say it, Kara/Arcann/Theron, Kara gets a little time to herself and the trio’s weekly movie night ends up being a bit more than just the three of them.

Shey Shen/Torian Cadera: -Fictober 2018, day 2: People Like you have no imagination, Koren/Trey & Shey/Torian (will put it for both pairs), little adventure of my bounty hunter squad +sith BF -Prompt: I’m Right Where I Belong, Shey/Torian sometime post kotet, a rare time that I bring up the fact that she has amnesia and still can’t remember anything prior to about 2 years prior to the class stories starting. -Prompt: ... out of habit (kiss), former Shey/Koro mention as well as Shey/Torian, because Koro is a mess and while him and Shey have been divorced for years habits die hard. -Fictober 2020, day 8: I’m not doing that again, Shey/Torian & Kurana/Andronikos (will be under both pairs), Little bit of a fun idea of who would win in a fight, our dear pirate or mando

Kurana Knight/Andronikos Revel: -Prompt: One Falling Asleep with their head in the other’s lap, Kurana/Andronikos, I keep thinking of this prompt now and then because writing Niko being soft for his wife is a lot of fun. -Fictober 2020, day 8: I’m not doing that again, Shey/Torian & Kurana/Andronikos (will be under both pairs), Little bit of a fun idea of who would win in a fight, our dear pirate or mando

Lyra Hawke/Doc: -Fictober 2020, day 1: No, Come Back!, Lyra/Doc, little adventure on an unnamed planet that I honestly love the idea of -Fictober 2020, day 6: That was Impressive, Lyra/Doc, Another little adventure of information gathering featuring Kara’s youngest son, Connor. -Fictober 2020, day 22: And neither should you, Lyra/Doc, little bit of fluff and doc trying to get his wife to take a day off

Ren Hawke/Vinn Atrius: -Fictober 2020, day 9: Will you Look at this?, Ren/Vinn, I need to write more of them outside of btbn so this was a start to hopefully more building on my didn’t plan to ship this as strongly as I ended up doing pair.

Ava Reiner/Jonas Balkar: -Fictober 2020, day 20: Did I ask?, Ava/Jonas, Small job featuring a couple of SIS agents, and including a bounty hunter I got attached to in a hurry.

Kyri Dennan/Arn Peralun: -Fictober 2020, day 21: This, this makes it all worth it, Kyri/Arn, little build up for another pair that I didn’t expect to get attached to, featuring some implant maintanence.

Airi/Theron (one off because disaster spy/spy pairing I had to write at least once): -Admittance, 1 chapter, complete

WoW: Aulara Stormdawn/Kieran Grimmarrow: -Lunar Eclipse, (Technically my first fic but I didn’t post it until after Shall We Dance), A story involving Aulara (an orphaned night elf priestess), Koren Haven (her brother from the orphanage, a human paladin), Kieran (a blood elf noble, hunter who doesn’t have much people skills), and the friends they meet including Rokar an old orc shaman and Sen a orc huntress, that navigates through the warcraft story starting with vanilla wow. Currently 7 chapters, on hiatus but planning on picking it up again in 2021! -Fictober 2020, day 4: That didn’t stop you before, Aulara/Kieran, A quest during Legion and a bit of a flashback from one of their first quests together around when they first started fighting side by side during BC -Fictober 2020, day 25: Sometimes you can even see, Aulara/Kieran, The burning of Teldrassil and Kieran deciding he’s willing to risk everything he’s ever known to be with his wife. Koren is there to give him a hand. -Fictober 2020, day 26: How about you trust me for once?, Aulara/Kieran, early BC before they became a couple, Kieran and Aulara get a moment to talk alone in Nagrand, involves something close to an awkward confession. >:3

Shey Wrynn/Varian Wrynn: -Prompt: Are you testing me?, Shey/Varian, post WoD but pre-Legion, little walk through elwynn turning into an adventure between the king and his wife, Shey is not amused when he charges in head first. -Fictober 2020, day 2: That’s the easy part, Shey/Varian, mid to late WoD, bit of fluff while planning the push towards hellfire citadel, bit of fluff and bit of proposal.  >:3 -Fictober 2020, day 10: All I ever wanted, Shey/Varian, post-BFA Pre-Shadowlands, proof I can write at least a little bit angsty, some platonic Shey & Anduin. -Fictober 2020, day 16: I never wanted anything else, Shey/Varian, something short around late Cata early MoP involving Shey having a birthday. -Fictober 2020, day 27: Give me that, Shey/Varian, probably what I consider the most ooc i’ve written him but honestly i had a lot of fun writing them being dorks. -Fictober 2020, day 31: I trust you, Shey/Varian, sometime early Cata soon after they started a relationship. The one and probably only time I’ll ever mention Shey’s old house, and a touch on the fact that i’m 100% certain that Varian would try and sneak out of the city time to time.

Shey & Anduin (platonic, it’s always platonic/familial between them) -Fictober 2020, day 19: I can’t do this anymore, Shey & Anduin, because sometimes a girl just needs to sneak her son out of the city to give him a break and maybe check out a ruin or something.

Shey Wrynn/Aethas Sunreaver: -Prompt: By your side, Shey/Aethas. Post legion, a bit of a moment between them early BFA. I started writing them as a potential pair before settling as friends with benefits that might form into more, so this is a possible hinting at them becoming “more”

Mass Effect: John Shepard/Kaidan Alenko: -Prompt: War’s End Kiss, Shenko, Post ME3 when they’re just a couple of retired old soldiers and John’s slowly recovering from his injuries from the final push. -Fictober 2019, day 4: I know you didn’t ask for this, Shenko, Post ME3, a bit of a heart to heart between them and tending to slowly healing injuries. -Fictober 2020, day 3: You did this?, Shenko, Post ME3, Kaidan runs across some old footage of John over the years from before they met to the reaper war. -Fictober 2020, day 14: You better leave now, Shenko, during ME3, short mission against a hold out of mercs, featuring James. -Fictober 2020, day 24: Are you kidding me?, Shenko, during ME3 probably, featuring Kaidan “my headache doesn’t hurt that bad” Alenko and John “please just take a nap” Shepard. -Fictober 2020, day 29: Back up!, Shenko, during ME3, mission to clear out a cerberus warehouse including some battle flirting and James lending a gun.

Scott Ryder/Gil Brodie: -Fictober 2020, day 12: Watch me, Ryder/Gil, Post main MEA story, something short of Scott looking forward to getting out and exploring while Gil (and eventually Sara) work on the Nomad. (Sara is my pathfinder)

Dragon Age: Garrett Hawke/Fenris: -Dawning, Fenhawke, Short bit of fluff and my firt step into writing dragon age. Late or post DA2.

Lia Hawke/Fenris (a one off when I was debating on canon hawkes & romances for them): -Fictober 2020 day 5: Unacceptable, try again. Fenhawke, little bit of teasing and bad taste in books.

Rana Cousland/Alistair Theirin: -Promptless ramble, Rana/Alistair, Set during DAO with Rana reflecting on those she’s lost, worrying for her brother and realizing just how in love she’s fallen with Alistair. -Fictober 2020, day 23: Do we have to?, Rana/Alistair, set post DAO, pre-DAI, little romantic picnic between the king and queen of ferelden before she heads off on her next mission. (hints at Nathaniel being involved with the both of them.)

Greedfall: Lydia de Sardet/Kurt -Fictober 2020, day 11: I told you so, Lydia/Kurt, short bit trying to get my footing writing these two, Lydia thinks she can still climb trees like she used to as a kid. -Fictober 2020, day 17: Give me a minute or an hour, Lydia/Kurt, short bit, and Kurt not being as subtle about his feelings about Lydia as he probably thinks he has.

Anthem: Raya Auren/Matti (1 of the 3 Matthias Sumner) -Fictober 2019 day 1: It’ll be fun, trust me, Raya/Matti, Bit of an adventure involving Raya taking her favorite arcanist out of fort tarsis to see something very special. (also involving me having no clue how they transport people when there’s only one javelin and winging it)

Smut: (all of them are swtor so far) -A Moment Reprised, Kara/Arcann, takes place post-umbara and pre-nathema, and sometime late in BtBN, no plot. -Moving on, Koren/Trey, takes place right before chap 35 of BtBN, featuring my dorks of a hunter and sith setting in stone they’re serious about each other. no plot -Just a short vacation, Kara/Theron, takes place post-nathema pre-onslaught, A moment in Kara and Theron’s honeymoon at a lovely resort and the closest to taking a day off Theron will ever probably take. No plot -Welcome Home, Kara/Arcann/Theron, unlike the other 3 doesn’t have a specific time that it takes place other than post nathema. No plot

[crow-feathxrs]

I’ve never seen a warrior oc with DID before, it’s really nice to see! Can you tell us more abt Blazewing and his alters?

YEA!!!! ok so. i actually have did myself, or at least a form of osdd, and blazewing is based off of one of my own alters who frequently fronts with me!! his name is scott :’D blaze takes a lot of personality from scott too: they’re both really funny, charismatic, have a little bit of dumb bitch energy, and they are very uhhhh. they tend to sacrifice their own needs for their friends’ needs. they’re both really good though and try their best to get better at understanding others and knowing their own emotions and feelings and stuff :) blazewing’s story itself is kinda depressing for funsies, but to keep it short, he was manipulated and coerced into killing other cats and stuff for this one dude who was like, a leader of a gang sorta thing. the leader was abusive and shitty! thats how he got the scars on his face (not the nose scar) i’ll continue under the read more!! nothing’s graphic or goes in depth either, just very vague mentions of abuse and thats all

he was told to go into a burning building and bring something out of it to prove himself once, and thats where the burn scars come from! turns out it was actually supposed to be a way to get rid of him, and he wasnt supposed to survive that. so he was alone then, wandering the forest/mountain area where he lived, until a sudden avalanche happened because of the gods of the world. blaze was supposed to be part of a warriors rp group im in, i just havent added him yet!! so, he comes out with amnesia! he’s eventually found by one of the clans of the forest’s oldest warriors, wargtuft, and she becomes something of a mother figure to him while he tries to remember his past, as well as fit in with his new clan! :) as for the did, it all started coming about because of the acts he was involved in (murder, territory disputes, etc, yknow, mainly bc of the leader being abusive and shitty). there’s no clear time when all of them formed, but they all have their own sorts of roles and aspects of himself in them. blightstar: this guy was only known as blight until blaze discovered the clans, which he then took the name blightstar because he’s.. just like that. blight is a really rambunctious sort of chaotic mischief-maker who likes to be in leader positions. he’s great at fighting (because he cheats), and tends to think cleverly about situations, usually managing to make things better for the system in general. he’s also super dramatic! tinypaw: this is basically a little sort of alter! he’s just a kid who likes to fight and have fun :) he’s not always conscious of what’s right and wrong, and tends to just do what he thinks is the most fun. he’d have character development as time goes on though, where he actually starts to learn more. his role was something of a coping mechanism for blazewing, finding fun in everything and generally just being playful. cold: ok so sometimes, if youve been abused, a sort of figment of your abuser  can form with did. blazewing vied for attention from the leader all the time, listening to his every command, and in a way, he can’t imagine life without the leader. the cold formed as a sort of... yknow, needing that guy around. he’s just kind of a jerk and doesn’t care about others outside of that though silentsea: silent is blaze’s depression and guilt and everything all balled up into one cat. he’s just quiet, listens to whatever ppl want him to do, etc. he’s the part of blaze that feels like he’s responsible for everything, even if he was manipulated into doing it. he’s just trying his best though :( and he’s a pacifist! he hates fighting and stuff. also hunting inferno: ok now this dude is basically blaze’s anger and hatred at himself for what he’s done, and how he wasn’t able to fight back. he’s generally just mad and like... sort of mocks blaze often? specifically silentsea. silentsea and inferno go hand in hand. but uhh he’s more prone to outbursts and bouts of like, self deprecation and self hate and stuff so, now that descriptions are out of the way, i’ll just say that blightstar and tinypaw are the most active alters, while the other 3 arent too apparent and dont really come out as much. theyre also not as verbal in their headpsace too, which is ok! they’re all very crucial parts of blazewing’s system though, and since after his amnesia, he’s never experienced a moment WITHOUT them, he thinks that every cat has special friends in their head too. he’s just a fun character all around and i really gotta get back and add him to that rp cuz WOO he’d be so fun... ANYWAY YEAH!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED ME WRITING A FUCKING NOVEL FOR YOU!! SORRY THAT IT WAS SO LONG, I JUST GET REALLY EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT MY OCS :DD oh yeah his story also fits this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrJZJtY6u7o

[amaryllisblackthorn]

mainly dgs-2 spoilers, mention of small dgs-4 spoilers + possible tiny dgs-3 and dgs-5 spoilers [basically spoilers for dgs]

(major) spoilers for episode 2 of dai gyakuten saiban !! (minor) spoilers for episode 4, (even more minor) spoilers for episode 3 and episode 5

so something that I find a little baffling and frustrating is how many people genuinely think sherlock is 100% completely dumb after episode 2 and miss the fact that the end part of the episode reveals that sherlock actually had already figured basically everything out for real and was mostly trolling before that

like I know a lot of people by this point complain that the ending of the episode drags on and they're probably not paying close attention as a result but that means they miss something really really important!!!!

after sherlock says his 'tbh I intended to let Scotland Yard take it from here, the only reason I got involved was to help you out bc I felt bad, but I forgot that the deceased was a dear friend to both of you, so from here on out you should seek the truth with your own eyes' && the epic music (Reasoning Battle - Introduction i think) starts to play, Sherlock is not only on his game but is guiding Naruhodou the whole time.

he guides naruhodou to the realization that the food was drugged, that the whole crew was in on it, that the emergency stop locked the door, and of course that something was in asougi's fist.

sherlock prompts naruhodou  with deliberate questions that put him on the path of the truth. 'have you all noticed the throbbing too?' 'by the way as a stowaway how did you come by your meals? ah so last night the victim didn't eat any of the meal?... seriously after saying that aloud you still don't get it?' and, in a way, his theatre of logic and reason is very similar! he guides naruhodou onto the path of the truth by pointing out the significant tells and observations but intentionally gets the logic wrong so naruhodou has a frame to work with to figure it out himself (the theatre also helps naruhodou's confidence in asserting his assertions but that's another thing)

this last part reveals that sherlock was onto the actual truth before he entered the cabin the second time. for one, he did the second emergency stop to confirm his suspicion that it would lock the doors!! not to mention that HE INSPECTED ASOUGI'S FIST AND FOUND NIKOMINA'S EARRING IN IT which probably happened at the very beginning since Asougi's body has been moved when Naruhodo wakes up, meaning that SHERLOCK SUSPECTED/KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING THAT A WOMAN/NIKOMINA WAS IN THE ROOM WITH ASOUGI WHEN HE DIED. so his 'great deductions' about the snake and it being an accident with the cat??? they were a load of bull!! like I'm sure sherlock was actually genuinely shocked about susato's snake facts, but he didn't actually think it was a snake that did it!!!

to reiterate, before Sherlock even gave his great snake deduction:

he knew nikomina was in the room with asougi

he suspected the ship did an emergency stop to lock the door 

likely had suspicions that the food was drugged and thus the whole crew was in on it (strengthened when stroganoff reveals nikomina's connection with the sailors & naruhodou reveals the meal situation & others confirm their heads have been hurting)

knew that someone framed naruhodou (the emergency stop, the Russian on the floor)

his great snake deduction and his great cat accident deduction were not serious actual deductions!! he was trolling!! that's what the last part of the ep reveals!! like i mentioned before, his false deductions serve a purpose in helping naruhodou but i’ll prob talk about that more another time.

but the point is, this end part of the episode reveals that Sherlock is a lot smarter than he lets on!! it reveals that he is, in fact, a great detective. he’s still chaotic and distressed about the disillusionment of snakes and impulsive and certainly thinks a lot of himself and stuff, but he’s /not/ actually stupid. he’s a troll; a trickster. and again, this plays into his false deductions sometimes and i’ll prob get into that another time.

but so many people completely miss and overlook this!!! they think sherlock is, while possibly endearing, genuinely stupid and a bad detective; they think he’s all talk, instead of just a lot of talk (bc he does sing his own praises all the time lol). and like, i can kind of see why, because his introduction makes such a strong first impression and when it’s revealed Sherlock’s actually smarter than he’s been letting on near the end, many people are preoccupied with their frustration at how the end seems to be ‘dragging on’. !!!DGS-3 AND DGS-4 SPOILERS!!!  and then there’s a whole episode until his next appearance, so it’s kind of easy to forget what happened at the end episode 3 !!!/DGS-3 AND DGS-4 SPOILERS!!! 

but it’s honestly pretty frustrating bc so many people miss something that’s really important! 

i mean idk it could just be the small sample size i’ve seen that’ve been missing it and it isn’t as big of a thing as i sometimes feel it is, and it’s not like i’m angry at the people missing it or anything -- i just feel like dgs sherlock deserves acknowledgement (altho he acknowledges himself enough to compensate for it and then some, hehe)

!!!DGS-4 AND DGS-5 SPOILERS!!!

like, more than once i’ve seen people go ‘oh so iris is the real sherlock’ when they get to iris’ theatre of logic and reason, and again i can get why bc of the (intentional) stark difference between the theatres, but imo the main difference is that iris plays it straight, not that she’s actually better at it necessarily. and like, i appreciate that iris says that she ‘just mimics the real thing’ bc while she likes giving sherlock a hard time, she does acknowledge his abilities (heh it’s probably good for sherlock that iris likes giving him a hard time, to keep him grounded) -- from what I can recall atm i think Iris ‘put downs’ of Sherlock tend to relate to like his immaturity and impulsivity rather than like dumbery or ineptitude

and im not saying that iris isn’t better/smarter than sherlock bc iris is great and she could be, but my point is the ‘oh so iris is the real sherlock’ bc it’s attached to ‘sherlock is actually dumb but just thinks he’s smart/the best’ which. isn’t true!! it’s ‘iris is smart and sherlock is also smart’ as well as ‘iris is more straight-forward about it while sherlock is often a troll’ and i’m cutting myself off here to prevent myself from writing ten more paragraphs except im going to reiterate i’m not necessarily saying iris isn’t smarter than sherlock and honestly sherlock probably thinks she is and at the very least when she grows up she’ll surpass him and sherlock will be happy

!!!/DGS-4 AND DGS-5 SPOILERS!!!

i’ve gone off a little from my original point so i apologize for that. my main point was/is supposed to be that the end of ‘the speckled band’ shows that Sherlock is a lot smarter than he lets on bc it reveals he’s been figuring out the actual truth before he even gives his great snake deduction which also reveals that his great snake deduction and great cat accident deductions weren’t sincere and brings into question his other great deductions which i will hopefully get into in another post.

OH i forgot to include why i think sherlock was trolling, besides giving naruhodou a framework to work with to figure out what’s going on. it’s nothin super solid but basically it goes back to what sherlock said himself re: ‘the only reason i got involved was bc i felt bad that you were involved but i forgot the deceased was a dear friend to both of you’ and?? again i’m not 100% sure but it’s possible that Sherlock suspected that it was manslaughter and not intentional murder and so wanted to ‘solve’ the case so that the 15-yr-old fugitive wouldn’t have to be repatriated and also so Naruhodou would be cleared of suspicion, but eventually realized that Naruhodou and Susato deserved to know the truth behind the death of their loved one (and was later able to negotiate with the immigrations office on behalf of nikomina). the fact that sherlock went out of his way to encourage naruhodou to check the back of the newspaper he gives them (the one about nikomina) suggests that sherlock suspected nikomina’s involvement before they meet her as roylott in her cabin.  take in mind that this is taking into account only what we know as of dgs and not taking into account anything potentially learned in dgs2.

also this isn’t really part of anything, but sherlock also has adhd vibes which i appreciate (i have adhd-i which is a little different than his but still) even if it wasn’t intentional

[mci-writing]

Aftermath (Overhaul's Daughter Pt. 2)

Warnings: Child abuse mention, Child abuse, Mental Abuse, Self blame, Child Witness to Violence, Child Violence, Mention Child Witness to Death, Gore's in here somewhere (it's just a mention tho), Crappy formatting bc I hate transferring things from Docs on mobile

Sequel to this

You hold on to your father's pants leg for dear life, stumbling on your small legs to keep up with him as he sped walk down the hall. You didn't know exactly where he was leading you, nor did you understand the look in his eyes each time he'd gaze to make sure your smaller form was where he last saw you. You feel him begin to pick up speed, leading to your tiny hand letting go of his leg as you tumble to the ground. The impact hurt, leaving a small scrape on your knee. He freezes once he notices you're not there anymore, turning to see you hold back tears from the pain. There's a hesitancy to lift you and once he does, the hold almost feels distantly held out.

"You'll have to bond with your child eventually, Kai" He's quick to pass you over to the boss, nervously patting your back with a quivered reassurance before swapping his gloves out for another pair. His shoulders relax their tension, the goosebumps that were forming easing down and his eyes sending the innocent youth a small glare before rolling themselves in disregard for you altogether.

"I'm not too concerned with that, if I'm being honest" You watch as he walks ahead of the two of you. At the ripe age of 4, you get your first dose of reminder that your father didn't even really want you around, "I've already had to kill one of our best people because they're alive… And I'm not risking another one"

~~~~~~~

You peak around the corner of the building as the smoke of the battle’s aftermath clears. You’re almost tempted to run out and help the younger girl you’ve spent a majority of your lifetime envying, maybe end your lives together on one last good deed that you owed her after sitting through and letting her take the crap your father dealt to her, but your unable to move your feet as her quirk continues to threaten the boy’s life. You turn your head out of pity as flashback after painful flashback reminds you of just how deathly her quirk actually is.

Another man manages to disappoint your father, another lowlife thinking he can just take the drugs as he pleases. The outcome was an obvious, bloody stain on the wall that you’d seen and even helped the others clean many-a-times “to help build character”. You’d stop shivering each time a man was one-shotted somewhere around useless casualty number fifty. The next part, where Eri came in, always kept you up at night where you wondered when you’d finally been used up to your full potential so they could be rid of you in a similar manner. Overhaul always remarked the second part was punishment for forcing him to get his hands dirty.

You still feel the tight grips Chrono would leave on your shoulder when he believed there was something you should see, even after they faded within a few years per your father’s request. You could still never quite describe what happened when Eri’s quirk was forcefully activated, but the painful screaming is something you can never seem to shake from even some of your fondest memories.

It was always in the deep crevice of your mind that you could easily suffer the same fate some day. Overhaul could always make up some excuse along the way that reminded you of how you were conceived, punishment for your mother's fate of having you, and no one would stop him. The only man that would was currently on his deathbed in position where you couldn't help him, no matter how much you wanted to.

"Hate to do this to the old man, but he was getting in the way" You never exactly knew if he was talking to you as he worked on setting the boss up, but you still listened closely as he instructed before. You knew to never get close, using your telekinetic quirk to pass him the supplies he asks for.

"Does that mean we're helping him?" You know this is wrong and against everything Shie Hassaikai stood for, but speaking up against it would more than likely put you in a similar situation

"We're helping the Shie Hassaikai, no matter what it takes. You feeling sorry for this sets you as a threat as well, understand?"

"Yes, father, I understand…" You didn't understand at all.

A small warmth seems to hit your body as two fairly different hands grip each of your shoulders, a nice set of happy fangs meeting your upwards glance. You struggle to remember either of their names, mainly due to those around you constantly asserting that their involvement with you and the plan were completely irrelevant. The two converse among themselves as they lead you away from the scene, acting almost as if you weren’t truly among them, even after the entirely awkward tumble that even led you to be with them in the first place. You’re positive you don’t want to recall how clumsily they grabbed you during their escape, either.

You instead let your mind wander to your father and Chrono. There’s a small sliver of concern for Kurono- Chrono, seeing as you were completely unable to get even a slimmer of a glimpse of him after the split up. Part of you is hopeful he escapes with the drug and serum, gets it somewhere safe, but another piece of you knows better and no matter how unfair you may believe it is, it’s happened and all you can hope to do is… move on.

Overhaul… your father, was a different story as you watched his final performance from the sidelines. Every ideal and lesson over your lifespan seemed to come full circle with that one fight, the passion and drive over the past few years seeming to lead up to such a climactic event that you’re sure the old man even would’ve enjoyed if he weren’t on his deathbed. Your father-

No, Overhaul. Overhaul deserves this defeat for all the shit he put everyone else through. Even if it was his greater good.

You suck in a deep breath, slowly releasing it to calm yourself of the suddenly defiant and ignorantly emotionally charged thoughts running through your head. What he did was right, this... was just a small detour to his ideal society.

~~~~

You’re unable to distract yourself from the weird tension in the air as you're forced to sit on the wobbly wooden stool under you. Shigaraki Tomura, the man that, in exact detail, told you how he assisted your father in making his dream come true by robbing him of his arms, sits across from you in an old leather chair. The fake leather peels from the arms and middle of the thing, but Shigaraki and his associates ignore the downside. A weird musky scent fills the bar that’s known to them as their ‘hideout’ (which was either disgraceful to the word or was just an extreme exaggeration for such a… dingy, abandoned clubhouse). It makes being ignored by your father in the comfort of the Shie Hassaikai hideout seem like the sweet life as a small dose of misplaced pity lands somewhere in your being for the League and their low funds.

"You're the last thing standing in my way now, you know? You're the last of that dreadful Yakuza group and I could simply remove you from this level right here if I wanted, kid, but-"

"It smells like ass in here, I'm going home-" You move to stand, only stopping once a knife is pressed to her neck. A soft giggle sounds from the owner, the teenage girl from before that led you away from the rubble of the crime scene with that other guy is standing to your side, her hand pressing the cold blade to your neck. She's bubbly as she threatens you with it, so much so that you almost miss the scarred hand from your other side gripping your shoulder that presses you back in your seat.

You spare the man a glance, his face equally as scarred and stapled. He gives you a small grin of his own back, his hand giving your shoulder a threatening squeeze, "Don't move, kid. I'd hate to burn you to a corpse when you're just so useful"

You stare for moment before slowly turning forward towards a smirking Shigaraki. You hold back a frustrated huff as you come to the realization that you're going to be stuck with the League for awhile and there's a creeping in the back of your mind that reminds you that you'll have no place to go after all of this. There's no reason as to why, seeing as you were one of the most irrelevant pieces of the group. All of their threats were gone, imprisoned by the heroes. Your father had no arms because of this crusty man. And yet, they held you here, wasting their own time for some kid that was nothing but an accident from a highschool hook-up.

You knew deep down exactly what they would put you through, all the threats and torture you'd face for answer on the bullets and the serum. Answers on things you knew very little about-

"Overhaul never cared enough to even glance my way. How would I even be the next threat to your empire?"

Makes prison suddenly seem like a better alternative...