#I’ve heard so many wild things from my time at working at [redacted]

[lologoinsolo]

Part 3, Part 4

Cats and Their Men Masterlist.

“Sir, I’m telling you.” You sit up a little more, “you cannot get a rabies shot from the vet.” You can’t believe what you’re hearing but also, you can believe it. “If you are worried that you have rabies then you need to go to the doctor.” You’ve repeated this so much that the man finally leaves in a huff. Well not before cussing you out for being a bitch to him. “Not shopping here anymore, my ass.” Mocking how he yelled that out before he left the store.

You take a breather when you start to get worked up. Rubbing your face like one would a cat, the smock you’re wearing is slightly wet and it’s making your skin prickle. You managed to get Jessica to let you start bathing two days ago. You figured it would be easier than working the register up front. Boy… were you wrong. The dogs are great, usually, but the pet owners or “Pet Parents” as the groomers say are not great, mostly.

Your eyes flicker over to the computer, you were making a ton of cold call to entice people to take their dogs in for bath or haircut when that guy was very insistent about needing to a rabies shot. “Can’t believe this—“ you start off but something catches your eyes. A man with a beard and a dark blue beanie is walking by holding some kitten salmon bags. A cat is walking right behind him. “Uh, sir!”

You stand up and come around to greet him. He must not’ve heard you with how he still walks. “Sir!” You yell a little louder and he pauses, turns around and looks at you. “Your cat,” you point down to the cat that’s now licking their toe beans. “They need to be leashed or in a kennel. They can’t be walking around.” It’s not safe, especially with other animals. The cat could get lost or worse! You start walking towards him, you plan on offering to help at least hold his cat for him.

He looks where you pointed and then looks at you coming up to him. “That’s not mine.”

You blink at him, your hands start to land on your hip. You’ve heard a lot of dumb things today but this is taking the cake. “Really?” You squint at him when the cat starts to rub at the man’s leg. “Sir, I understand that they are doing well by staying by you but it’s not safe—“

“Miss,” he cuts you off, he moves the kitten food to one arm, “I don’t have a cat.” He leans a little on his side, his chin tucks to his chest. There’s a spark of amusement in his deep blue eyes.

You can’t believe this. He’s holding kitten food in his hands, granted that cat isn’t a kitten but still! You take a deep breath, your patience has been running from you and you try to catch it once more. “Sir, the cat—“ just as you’re about your speech a man starts running up in your peripheral.

“Ah, there you are, love!” A familiar sound comes from the side, a dashing smile as always and slightly messed up face. “Was wondering if I’d catch you again— Sir?” Kyle turns from you and then looks slightly shocked. They know each other? “What are you?” He trails off when he sees the bag, “Oh, you’re cat sitting, I thought Johnny was gonna cat sit Bailey?” His arms cross a little, the puzzled look on his face brightens when he spots the cat doing a figure eight around the bearded man’s legs.

The man’s lips thin into a line, “Johnny’s needed, he had to head out.” Sadly, he ignores the cats affection, and then the older man looks from you to Kyle and then back to you. Something must’ve clicked in his head as his heavy brows lift just the slightest “I don’t have a cat, Miss,” he says to you, “bloke probably followed me in.” Kyle comes close and crouches, squatting right in front of the man. The cat perks up and nudges right against Kyle’s waiting hand.

“Looks like you, sir.” And the cat kinda does, there’s matching brown on the cats face, almost like a beard, and deep blue eyes, same as the man’s. “Just missing a cigar and fishing hat. Or beanie.”

“Garrick.” The older man’s voice is tight and looks on the edge of sounding like authority.

“Sir?” Kyle seems either none the wiser or is purposefully playing ignorant. He looks up with a grin, “it's fate, that’s your cat now.” He laughs and the older man looks none too happy. “Cat distribution center is at it again. Johnny will not be pleased one bit.”

“I don’t want the cat.” He looks to you and you shake your head side to side, same for your hands as you shake them in front of you.

“Sir, we can’t hold animals here.”

The man sighs long suffering like and Kyle laughs a little louder. “Face it, John,” he moves his hand down the cats back, who is now purring up a storm at all the loving, “he’s yours,” he lifts the cat's leg slightly to see the gender and the cat must think Kyle’s playing. He lets out a little noise and proceeds to curl and grip Kyle’s hand. Bunny kicking and licking at Kyle’s fingers. “Playful little guy.” Wiggling his hands some more and the cat pounces.

John, now that you know his name it’s rather suiting for him, tilts his head back with a sigh. The dark blue beanie he’s wearing scrunches slightly at the top. He mutters something under his breath about needing a smoke. Kyle continues playing with the cat and you wonder if that’s how he’s gotten more cuts on his hands and face. His kitty probably plays too roughly.

But, what are the odds that 3 men are back to back finding cats? You laugh a little and John tilts his head down towards you. Your laughter does and give him a sheepish smile, “don’t laugh now, sweetheart. You’re gonna help me with him.” His beard moves slightly as he looks none too happy. His cat really does look a little like him. Grumpy. You look to the empty grooming salon and then back at the two. Kyle has long since stood with the cat now up in his arms.

“Wonder if he’s old,” Kyle muses as he stands beside you, you in the middle of the two walls of man and muscle. “Would be a real match, eh, John?” The little nudge at age merely makes the older gent huff a laugh.

“Don’t test me, Garrick.” There’s no real bite in his words save for the twinkle in his eyes. You excuse yourself to go grab a cart for the two men, the grooming salon is as empty as can be. Jess can handle it, you think with a shrug as you walk on back. Pushing the cart and when you get close, you hear that they’re discussing names. Well, Kyle is at least.

“Could call him John Jr.” he holds up the cat a little, “beard boy, cigar, wonderer.” His names get worse and worse and you finally step in with a—

“How about Louis?” Both men look at you and you shuffle under their gaze, “that’s an old man name. I don’t really think the cat’s old though. Maybe 3 or 4 years old?”

There’s a little pause and you wonder if you should have went back to the grooming salon. “Old man name, huh?” John places the salmon kitten bag in the cart and quirks a brow to you. Kyle plops the cat down in the cart and already he’s off to sniffing the contents. “Just looks old, got a good amount of years left on him though. Ain’t that right, boy?” He moves his hand slowly to the cat. Louis purrs deeply and rubs right against his dad’s hand. Kyle says something, probably a tease, but you’re too entranced at what you see. A man that oozes strict authority, is being incredibly gentle in petting.

You really do need to work on your judgement. “Speaking of names,” you cough slightly, looking to Kyle whose’s already grabbing a nice looking cat bed. 2 to exact, his cat is definitely spoiled, “What’d you name your girl after all?”

“Oh, yeah, that…” He gives a small smile making your brows turn up. You think the worst, you really hope he didn’t give her away but you don’t know his circumstance or his home life. Just before you spiral he speaks, “don’t laugh, but her name is Marina.” You breathe a sigh of relief you didn’t know your were holding in. But you start to look downright puzzled at why he think you’d laugh. “She’s,” Kyle starts, he seems a little squirmy now, “she’s named after that lady on Sinbad… you know… the one with Eris in it and Sinbad had to—“ it starts to click.

“Oh!” Your noise alerts Louis who was making biscuits on one of the beds, “I remember that movie. Very regal sounding and I think it’s very fitting considering Marina was a bit sassy.” You loved her character in that movie. “She’ll look even cuter in that pirate costume with a name like that.”

“Thank you,” he sighs in relief, “Johnny thought it was dumb. Wanted to name her Rugrat,” he scowls, “course he was taking a piss but still.”

“Well,” you pull a face at that, “this Johnny has no idea what he’s talking about. I thought you said he was good with names?”

John’s eyes squint as he scoffs. “He can’t name shit.” He’s heard all the stupid names that the Scot has given his bombs. Cannot hear about another ‘BoomBoom’ or ‘Bigbooming’ without wanting to roll his eyes. Hard.

You laugh at this Johnny’s expense. You have a feeling that with the way this has been going… you’ll probably meet him sooner rather than later. It’s a real small world that the men you’re talking to also happens to be friend. Weird coincidences…

You end up joking back and forth with Kyle the entire time you take them around the store. Kyle’s been picking up more things for his baby and Louis is snoozing on the cat bed like the “old man” that he is. You give John the full rundown just like the two men before. He takes in your information like you’re giving him instructions on how to build a ship, very laser focused. Every time you looked away he’d follow you to keep eye contact. Your cheeks have never been warmer…

Eventually you get them both back to the grooming salon. Rather than making them go up front you use the register here to start scanning their items. Even slid them some coupons and discounts much to John’s strong disagreement. You bagged all their items and passed them both their receipts, giving Louis one last rubbing that wakes the old grump up. You quietly apologized for your transgressions and wave at the men once they take their leave. John gives a nod but Kyle waves back, you barely catch what Kyle says as they start walking away.

“…m’s gonna be back this week or next, sir?”

“This week, Gaz. Now help me load my truck.”

“Yes, sir. Johnny is gonna be livid that you have a cat now.”

[animatedminds]

Pixar’s Soul: Review and Reaction

The first sentence I’ve always used to describe Pete Docter and Pixar’s Soul since watching it has nothing to do with the plot. It’s instead is a starstruck comment about the music: the movie begins with a cover of a Duke Ellington classic - Mercer Ellington’s “Things Ain’t What they Used to Be.” It ends with a jazz rendition of a classic from several decades later - but still quite a bit in our past - Curtis Mayfield’s soul classic “It’s Alright.” On a personal level, this would say way more about Soul that most other descriptions of it might to get me to watch it - were I not the kind of person who was absolutely intent on watching the movie day one regardless. Though I am myself a few generations after either of those artists were around, their music has been a part of my life since I was a kid and are essential on any playlist in my opinion. Curtis Mayfield’s music, especially, deserves all the love in the world, and hearing by surprise someone cover his work in a Disney movie made my entire day - and it would have, even if the film weren’t the meaningful ride it is.

But before we get into all that, lets also look at those songs. “Things Aren’t What They Used To Be” is played a la a teacher and a higher school band class: the students are learning and a bit difficult to listen to, while the music-loving teacher cringes at the front. But the choice of song tells us a lot. It’s a jazz standard: which means when it comes to jazz, it’s one of the essentials - a tune every band learns to play, and every jazz fan has heard before. The teacher is a jazzman - you can probably guess who - and the whole time he’s listening to the song you can hear him wanting to sit down and make it sound as perfectly as he hears it in his head. Remember that analogy. Heck, when you watch or rewatch the movie, remember the mindset Joe - because that’s who that teacher is, Joe Gardner, is in for that whole teaching scene in the first place: and remember how important the desire to make things perfect is to the greater story the movie is trying to tell.

“Things Aren’t The Way They Used To Be,” indeed. By the end, you have to wonder: isn’t that the point? Now the second song. “It’s All Right” is a smooth number for dancing to - not frenetic and wild dancing, but more a slow jam sort of vibe. BUt it’s the lyrics that are the most befitting the themes of the movie. Like several of Curtis Mayfield’s tunes “It’s All Right” is an ear worm of an R&B number that’s actually about being a peace with yourself. “You’ve got soul” - ha, I get it - “and everybody knows, that it’s all right.” Or, to quote instead my favorite verse of the song (I did say Mayfield was one of my favorites): “when you wake up early in the morning feeling sad like so many of us do, hum a little soul, make life your goal, and surely something’s gonna come to you.” This is before the spoilery part of the review, but they could not have picked a better song for the movie’s themes if they wrote it themselves.

Soul, after all, is ultimately a movie about how the things we do, the things we love, even the things that define us and should make us feel good in and of themselves, can become a shackle that prevents us from feeling the things that we adopt them to feel. Dreams - especially dreams deferred - can consume us rather than uplift us, and sometimes in pursuing them we may forget to live, and forget that others are living in this world and dreaming alongside us.

This, as you might be able to tell from the way I’ve described it, is a movie with a very strong, and most importantly very well related message that - as we’ve come to expect from Pixar’s output at this point - touches us in our jaded adult hearts. As a creative person with lofty dreams who has almost literally been where the protagonist is in this film - and as many in my generation also have gone through - it definitely feels like a film that was directed straight at the generation that first watched Toy Story as kids decades ago, and now feel somewhat unfulfilled as adults going into the world. Same as Inside Out (a movie specifically designed to make adults cry, in my opinion), the SparkShorts and arguably Onward (I definitely related to Bailey, some). So much like my review of Jingle Jangle, you have something of an idea where this review is going to go before the jump, but that’s okay. This movie did have ups and downs, but its just the kind of up Pixar is good at: they know they’re audience, and especially did for this gem. By the end, it can definitely make you feel as though you too can make it through, as long as you have a little Soul. However, it is not just the message, but the nuances and skill in which they relate that message (and they do come close to making decisions that could have ruined it, at times), which means it’s very difficult for me to put why this movie works into a review without SPOILERS. If you want to avoid SPOILERS, don’t hop over the pic and instead treat the above as your non-SPOILER review.

Soul is the story of one Joe Gardner, played by Jamie Foxx a brilliant early middle-aged pianist with lifelong dreams of becoming a jazz musician, who we first meet teaching part time band at a local high school. The inciting incident is an interesting choice: Joe gets a major offer - he can come on as a full time teacher, making his occupation a career! But Joe believes very much in the adage that “those who cannot do, teach” - in the sense that he wants to do. He cannot accept the position - over the advice of his mother - because that would mean giving up on his dream of being out there playing music for a living: a dream that has consumed him his entire life but which has given him nothing in return. Until now. While agonizing over the decision to take the position, Joe's life then gets a big twist: a former student of his, remembering him fondly years after they knew each other, has a hook for him to join the band of a famous jazz singer and saxophonist - played by Angela Basset (side note, here: jazz has long had a reputation for being something of a boys club, especially for certain instruments, and the choice to have the lead saxophonist and famous idol whose band Joe wants to join be a woman is a great choice that my entire jazz-loving and living family took note of). Joe is instantly elated - he rushes over and naturally aces the audition for the part in the band, and so is on cloud nine...

Until he dies. That’s when the plot really starts. Joe falls down a manhole like an astronomer in an aesop fable, and is now stuck on the slow escalator to The Great Beyond. Naturally, he’s not for that and tries to escape - pursued by overeager spiritual soul-accountant Terry - ending up in the Great Before instead, and leaving his body in a still-living coma (the implications that coma patients in general are people who are choosing not to die when they’re “supposed” to is something I’m sure the writers didn’t intend, so I’ll let it slide). There, Joe is pressganged into mentoring a pre-prepared soul for birth, helping them find their Spark for life - which Joe interprets as the one true purpose and dream they are meant to fulfill. Once he gets them their Spark, he will be able to steal a badge his mentee earns as fully fledged souls and . Luckily for his intended very morally suspect intent on spiritual larceny, he ends up with Soul #22 - and that’s #22 out of hundreds of billions - a soul who has simply never found a Spark despite having been in the Great Before for thousands of years. #22 doesn’t want to live, so she agrees to give him her patch when they’re done. But no mentor before has been able to inspire her (well, technically #22 is genderless, as she demonstrates in the story at Joe’s request, but she is voiced by Tina Fey), so how can Joe? When that proves to be too hard indeed, #22 instead decides to help Joe get back - mostly because she’s intrigued at why anyone would want to cling to life so badly - with the help of some mystics who astral project while in the Zone: where everyone goes when they’re fully immersed in what they do. This almost works, but at the last second everything goes awry: #22 gets mixed up with Joe when he returns, and so he doesn’t quite get back the way he wants to...

That’s enough plot summary for now. That’s all just the set-up anyway, for the choices in writing and concept that I’m about to talk about. As you might have been able to tell from that ominous last note, the middle chunk of Soul - almost right up until the climax, in fact - is actually a body-swap movie, a la Freaky Friday. #22 ends up in Joe’s body, so he has to get her to do the things he needs to get ready for his gig and get through the day while they wait for the mystic to bring a way to set everything right. And did I mention he’s in the body of a cat? Having been following the movie, this wasn’t entirely a surprise, but it was still not something I was entirely ready for coming in. I tend to shy away from that kind of story on a personal level, as body-swap narratives are nearly predominantly based on cringe moments and awkward misconceptions - and that sort of thing usually tends to make me want to leave the scene in question and get a cup of water until after the awkwardness passes. However, this isn’t really part of the review in the sense that I perceive that the movie being in that genre is a flaw - because ultimately that’s just an aspect of my personal taste. Rather, I use it to show just how strong a movie Soul was and how well its narrative choices resonated with its themes that ultimately while it did indeed partake in your typical body-swap narrative cringe moments - “look, the [redacted] in Joe’s body just ran into his boss / mom!” / “look, the [redacted] is having a bizarre conversation with Joe’s friends!” / etc - those moments actually add to the narrative rather than take you out of it. Joe as “friends,” as exemplified by the barber he goes to to get his hair ready for the gig when it inevitably gets ruined in a bout of hijinks (the barber being that extremely well-designed bearded character the internet went wild over). He goes to that barber all the time, talks with him constantly, and believes he knows him well. But it turns out that Joe’s so wrapped up in his wants and desires that he’s never even asked him about his life - he just assumed that the barber was like him, born to do that one thing he was good at. It takes #22′s innocent, slightly off-kilter and occasional philosophical questions about what the heck all this “life” stuff is about for Joe to learn that this person in his life didn’t even want to be where he ended up initially, he ended up there because that’s the way his life turned, but he loves it because it’s life and he appreciates the world he’s come to create around himself. Likewise, he runs into his mom, but while Joe has come to expect his mother to be dismissive of him and his dreams, it takes an accident with #22 for him to realize that he’s been so caught up in his desires and her in her preconceptions that neither of them have ever had a real talk about their relationship, nor given a chance to grow in each other’s eyes. You might notice a trend. One of Joe’s students - a brilliant trombonist - comes to tell him she’s quitting band, but she doesn’t really. She’s just insecure because the other students make fun of her. Joe knows this already - it’s become commonplace to him - so the doesn’t feel the need to do anything about it and instead focuses on his own needs. But #22 decides to talk to her on a whim, and this push and pull of insecurity but joy in what one is good at fascinates her, while it bores Joe. While - like any other New Yorker - public transit is a chore to Joe, the melting pot of people and music draws #22 in: best evidenced by the moment where Joe and #22 meet another great musician playing for tips in the subway. Joe, despite being capable of relating as a musician, just walks past him after appreciating the sound for a sec, while #22, entranced by the things people do, leaves something for him. The world is drab and lacking in vibrancy from Joe’s point of view, as evidenced by the very accurate grimy look of the high school he work at - but from #22′s seemingly jaded eyes seeing it for the first time, it’s full of wonder.

This actually creates an interesting character contrast on top of the one we already know: Joe is the idealist, and #22 is the cynic... right? Well, it turns out Joe doesn’t have much of an appreciation for the world around him - not intentionally, but still to a very strong degree - whereas #22 simply hasn’t had the chance to experience life yet and thus never knew what it was that made people want to be part of it. Life itself becomes her Spark, though neither of them realize it at the time. Lets just get the aesop out of the way now. Your dream is not your life: that’s what Soul wants to say. Things that compel you as a person may consume you, even embitter you, and prevent you from seeing the world around you for what it is. But that doesn’t make dreams a bad thing: people everywhere find that Spark from the dreams to keep moving forward - it’s just that it shouldn’t preclude living, nor should living preclude your dreams. Life is a delicate balance, and man is this movie serving up some complicated life lessons here. I immediately took this as a far more mature take on the message The Princess and the Frog stumbled somewhat through years ago (man, I’m turning out to be pretty hard on that movie in this blog). My biggest issue with PATF is that it tells us that Tiana should be less intent on her dream and find love instead, but doesn’t show us. It’s just characters chiding her for not settling down until the plot ultimately pushes a man in front of her and she realizes she should’ve been finding one all along. That’s a very harsh way of putting it, but it condenses what I’m trying to say: ultimately PATF pushes Tiana to realizations she doesn’t seem to need, whereas Soul has a similar message about life and does so by focusing on character development, about how the protagonist doesn’t have as firm a handle on his life as he thought, and thus brings us a take on the lesson that’s far less cut and dry.

If you’re a fan of The Incredibles, the comparison to Mr. Incredible is fairly easy. Joe, though well meaning and decent overall, is a very self-centered person who happens to be so for very sympathetic and relatable reasons. He just wants to do the thing he feels he was born to. He'll do anything to get back to life and do that thing, even for a single night. He’s consumed by this desire so much that he's oblivious to the people around him, unable to connect to the people he loves, and unable to find joy in anything but his dream. And man, as a young writer who knows in their heart of hearts they can do great things and feels pain at the idea of not doing so, that hits different let me tell you.

The lessons Joe learns from #22 even stick. It turns out that part of what caused Joe’s dream to fail all those time was because of that lack of connection with life. He never presented himself in a way that got people to take notice of him, he never pushed for that position he wanted even though people said no, he never made himself and his life so vibrant that he glowed in the eyes of others (and again, that hits different). That’s maybe the most simplistic message of the bunch, but as a person in the creative field it’s true that sometimes being the smartest person in the room isn’t enough: it’s making himself shine that ultimately clinches Joe the gig even after he almost lost it thanks to the day’s shenanigans.

But in the end, it doesn’t feel like he thought he would.

Remember when I said there are parts where the movie comes perilously close to kiboshing its message? That moment is one, it’s the one. Not that that moment is bad - far from it, it’s the best moment in the entire movie (and you can fight me on that if you want to). It’s because it’s the crossroads, the pin, the core of the entire film: depending on the choice they made after that point, that moment could have either been the best moment in the entire movie, or the moment that toppled everything.

The realization of Joe’s dream doesn’t feel like the explosion of confetti and catharsis that he expected. It was just another moment of his life, a great one, but it’s still just part of his life. So what does Joe do? Does he panic? Does he keep going until it feels good? Does he - as he would in a lesser movie trying to give a cookie cutter aesop - immediately quit and realize he should’ve been teaching all along? No, he does none of those things. He absorbs the moment. He realizes that at the end of the dream you’re still just living life, and that you have to appreciate that. Joe isn’t wrong for pursuit of his dream. He’s not wrong for believing that hopes and dreams make life so much more worthwhile. He’s wrong in thinking that those dreams are all that define us, and that their realization is all that makes people themselves worthwhile at all.

And in the end - though I may be getting a bit too referential for this - the unexamined life is just so much less fulfilling than the alternative.

And all that a message and a half! It hits different. It’s mature as all heck. It’s something people my age (especially in my generation), twice my age, half my age never learn. It’s a callsign that sometimes Pixar is still make movies for the people who were kids way back when Toy Story was released, and are now insecure adults wondering why the world isn’t as wonderful as they saw on the screen. It’s brilliant. I said before that Joe interprets the “Spark” to be one’s purpose in life. The one thing that makes them who they are, that they are on the planet to do. He is wrong, absolutely and utterly. And in that misconception, when #22 finally does get their Spark just from being on Earth and seeing what its life, he accuses them of leeching self-actualization over his own personal ambitions, fully believing that they didn’t find a “purpose" on her own, but just copied his. But the Spark, as it turns out, is just the joy of living, the thing that makes people want to live. It can come from a dream, or just from watching the beauty of the sun set over a leaf drifting in the wind. Only in understanding this can Joe finally understand what he’s been missing in life, only then can he reconcile with #22 and help her finally be born, only then can he walk into the world and know how he’s going to live it.

We never find out what Joe decides, whether he goes back to teaching, or continues with the band. The choice is open to him, but we never find out which one he takes - another choice that keeps the aesop from falling apart. The point of all of that wasn’t that Joe has to do one thing or another to be happy, it was that Joe needs to be happy and secure in himself before he chooses what his life should be. Either of those could make him happy. Neither of those could. But now he’s in a much better place to see it, and do what he can.

We also never find out what #22 is like when she (or he, etc) is born. The two of them never meet past the point where #22 goes to Earth. Their time together has passed, and #22′s life is now their own. And that’s a great choice either. I’ve seen the occasional person feel that the choice made in this paragraph or noted in the previous one made the story confusing, but they’re ultimately what make the story what it is. The answer isn’t the necessity of resolution, its the reaffirmation of the journey. It reminds me somewhat of Wreck-It Ralph (an example of the main Disney Studio delivering a complex aesop, rather Pixar delivering them all), where being a villain wasn’t Ralph’s problem - it was that he wasn’t happy doing the thing he loved. You have to live, from living you will learn, and from learning you will do. The sheer incredible execution of this message (as you may have guessed, it’s a fairly difficult one to relay adequately in a film narrative, and the movie goes non-traditional in conclusion to maintain it) would have made this film a recommend for me even if it wasn't also beautifully animated, very well acted, funny (there’s a Knicks joke that floored me), heartwarming and relatable. But it’s also all of those things, so I have to recommend it twice as much. It is, regrettably, another movie with a black lead where the lead spends most of it transfigured into a form that’s not a black person (a soul, and then a cat), and I’ve already seen some grumbling that instead for much of it a character explicitly coded as a white woman is in his body instead, but I perceive that as an issue that’s endemic to the industry than a fault in this movie specifically. Everyone does that, but this is the only movie I’ve seen where doing that is an essential part of how the narrative develops the characters (Joe has to not be himself in order to understand his life from an outside perspective, a la Scrooge as a ghost watching his own history), and so I don’t scorn the movie for it. I, however, would very much like Hollywood to start doing that less, and - hey - as a prospective writer that’s one of those things I plan to do my part to combat. This movie, however, gets a pass in my book in ways that the general usage of this concept does not. In short, you should see it. If you get the chance to see it right now, you should take it to feel good at the end of this incredibly insane year. If you don’t want to have to sign up for Disney+ to see it now, I get you and understand, but if you get a chance to see it later do not pass it up. It’s one of the few movies I’ve watched that are an instant buy when it becomes available on digital - and the last time a movie did that for me was BlacKKKlansman. Whatever you choose to do, do it well. Keep the spirit alive, always keep searching for the real you - because it’s not always easy to find, but it’s worth looking for - and always remember that you could always have a little soul.

[mrsamaroevans]

01 | EVERYTHING CHANGES

Fandom: Law & Order: SVU.

Pairing: Nick Amaro x Reader.

Summary: It’s been fifteen years since the last time you saw Nick Amaro, and when you reconnect, he soon knows you’re living an abusive marriage. 

Words: 1,398.

Warnings: Mentions of domestic violence, miscarriage. English is not my first language, so, sorry if there are grammar mistakes or if the redaction is poor. *Gif is not mine*

A/N: Hey! So, I just realized it’s Danny’s 46th birthday (omg! I’m in love with someone twice my age lol) so I decided to post this Nick Amaro short series it’s been in my drafts for a few weeks now. I got inspired by listening to Waitress (As you can notice for the name of it lol) and it’s going to be only ten chapters long, but if you want to be tagged, just let me know!

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|| MY MASTERLIST ||

“The Supermarket Encounter”

The supermarkets on Sundays were hell, everybody knew that. So, as a smart person, you were there usually on Friday mornings. However, that day was Wednesday but you were running out of some things.

You were alone ‘cause your husband hated going to buy the groceries. So, he gives you the money and you do it all by yourself. It wasn’t something that upsets you, most of the time, you wanted to be as far away from him as you could, so, you enjoyed your time alone.

When you were twenty, you met Sean Davis, a handsome substitute teacher. Sean was the guy everyone wanted to date, he was a daydream and all of your friends were jealous that you were the one who caught his eye, and, actually, you were so proud and excited for the same reason. You started dating him and soon, things became formal between you two. He was four years older, but that didn’t matter ‘cause he seemed to be perfect.

You got married as soon as you graduated from college. As normally happens, finding a job as a newly graduated was hard. Sean told you not to worry, that you’d find a good job when the perfect time came. So, you stayed at home being the ‘good wife’ your mother taught you to be.

Sean found a full-time job in a private high-school and soon, your life as a wife wasn’t what you expected; Sean was always working, you barely saw your friends or family, the only thing you did was, staying at home.

As the months passed, you started to know a side of Sean you didn’t know. You knew he had a temper just like everyone, but whenever he had a stressful day at work, he comes home and takes it out with you. He yelled, hit the wall, pushed you away of his way, and in bed, he was rougher.

Three years later he was fired after some girls accused him of sexual harassment. You always trusted him. You didn’t ask questions, but you believed what he told you: Those rich girls were mad at him for their bad grades.

After that, you started to know another side of him. He started drinking almost every day, he became more aggressive, he shouted at you more frequently, and when you said you were going to look for a job again, he went mad. He was the man, he was going to provide his family. Sean didn’t want you outside home, there were men in the streets, what if you fall in love with someone else? What if you cheat on him? Maybe you wanted to get a job so you could sleep with another man. That was what he told you before hitting you.

You stayed. That’s what your mom told you to do. He was a man, he felt he was failing you as a husband, that was why he was mad. He wasn’t thinking clear, he was drunk, he didn’t mean to hit you. It was your fault; you shouldn’t have said that.

Sean got another job in New York, but not even moving out of Florida changed him. You were so careful with every step you walked in your own house, you cleaned all the house twice just to make sure everything was perfect so he wouldn't have an excuse to shout at you. You lived like that for three years and it didn’t matter how hard you tried to make everything the way he wanted, he still found something to be mad for.

But not everything was that way. He had good days in which he took you out for dinner. Sometimes, he would come home with your favorite flowers and watched movies together in your bed. Things could change, since today, everything is going to be different. You used to think. But it didn’t happen.

And one day, he came home. He kissed you hard, he started to touch you, being as romantic as he could be and said: “Let’s make a baby”. That was a great idea, how couldn’t you think about that? Maybe, becoming a father would change him.

So, after three months of trying, you got pregnant. Sean was so happy and so were you. He talked to your belly every night, he was with you at the doctor's, he took care of you. You were seeing the Sean Davis you got married to again.

One night, he was talking to the baby as if it was a “he” and you asked: “Love, you know it can be a girl, right?” as you were smiling. You shouldn’t have said that.

One week later, you had a miscarriage. You knew your baby wasn’t gonna make it since the moment Sean beat you. His firstborn wasn’t going to be a girl, were you insane? How could you have said that?

Sean cried and asked you to forgive him. You had never seen him cry before, maybe he was really sorry, maybe that would help him to change, maybe he realized what he was doing was wrong. So you forgave him.

You didn’t want to pass for the same experience again, so you started to take contraceptives without him knowing. You were willing to take all his screams and beatings because you couldn’t get pregnant as long as you could avoid losing another child.

Then, a few years after, your period was late and you started to feel sick and tired all the time. You read on the internet that antibiotics inhibit the effect of contraceptives, and you took some meds weeks before.

You were on the pharmacy when you found the pregnancy tests section. You saw the price of a package of three and then you saw the numbers on the screen of your phone. You had enough money to buy it, but the thing was that you didn’t want to ‘cause that meant you had to take those tests. You didn’t want to know; you didn’t want to be pregnant.

“(y/n)?”

The pregnancy tests fell into your cart when you turned to the person talking to you. Maybe it was the surprise, but maybe you wanted the package to get lost between all the other items you were going to buy for whoever was there couldn’t see them.

“Nick!” You sounded a bit confused, and it was because it took you a couple of seconds to recognize him “Sorry, you look a bit different without the beard”

“I’ve heard” He nodded and got close to you to hug you.

That simple and innocent action caught you unprepared so you weren’t able to properly hug him back.  

“It’s been a long time since the last time I saw you. How’ve you been?” He asked, smiling with that same smile you remember.

“Great!” You said, smiling “What about you?”

“I’ve been fine” he nodded again and smiled “What happened to your eye?” he pointed to the —now— small bruise in the corner of your eye.

“Oh, I was playing with my nephew and he hit me with a bus he has… kids are unpredictable” you confidently said. You had a lot of practice by now.

Nick smiled. "Jack got married?”

“He did” you nodded “And he has two beautiful kids now, but they’re wild” you shrugged and smiled when the little faces of your nephews came to your mind “What have you done in all these years? I think I haven’t seen you since… what is it? fifteen yea—”

“Since you broke up with me?” Nick asked, smiling and you laughed. The heat in your face made you look down.

“Shut up,” you said, playfully pushing him and then, you looked at him, waiting for his answer.

“I’m a cop,” he said, taking a card out of his wallet and handing it to you. You took it and read his name and phone number in it.

“Oh, that’s great” you smiled “How many bad guys have you put behind bars?”

“Not as many as I’d like to”

There he was: Nicolas Amaro and his big heart of gold. The protective and caring Nick you remembered.

“Look, I have to go home now, but it was really nice to see you again,” you told him and he nodded when he looked to your left hand and saw your wedding ring.

“I say the same” he smiled and leaned to kiss your cheek “Hope to see you soon”

You smiled —‘cause that kiss left you speechless— and grabbed your cart to walk to the cashiers.

|| Previous || 01 || Next ||

|| MY MASTERLIST ||

[space-blue]

The Dreglund

Fourth competition win

Juni 32nd

At last, a new notebook! Hydrophobic paper is incredibly hard to obtain here, despite the city being so close to the Dreglund and all the rainfall that feeds it. The locals make a cheap pulp paper from the ocean of grasses that surround them. Logical, if unpractical for me. I was growing anxious after I placed my finished travelogue and books in storage, having nothing safe to write on. I will have to limit sketches, lest I run out of space in the wild. Already I feel the strain, not being able to document my stay in Ikurstuk as I wish... Ikurstuk, city of salt! As far East as any Explorator has gone, and mostly unchanged since Damasia and Edolan's visits. Both did a great job at sketching the city, yet it feels like they hardly scratched the surface! I keep my resolve, however, and have taken rooms only for ten days, by the end of which I fully intend to have finished my preparations to cross the Dreglund desert.

Julli 2nd

Almost ready. I'm glad now for all the iddle time on the caravan, with nothing to do but learn Kush. Ikurstukies speak enough Imperial to sale their wares and count their money, but the rest is Ikkurie, a blend of Kush and Arandi. The promise of news from the Empire and the Salt Road opens any door, and people gladly answer my questions (once they're done stuffing me into a coma, that is. Ikkies (as they call themselves), consider that any herald of news should be fed and housed for as long as they desire. Had I known as much sooner, I'd not have taken rooms. I've made good friends with several people (see portrait of Etti and Karluk in annexe), which has helped a lot with my purchases. Better prices, better quality. Mind you Ikurstuk has no tourist traps, having no tourists to fool. Only caravaners come this far East. Etti keeps trying to discourage me of going further. She doesn't understand my interest for the Dreglund. I tried to explain, how uncharted land is the life blood of Explorators, that turning around where others stopped defeats the entire point of my trade. Whatever I say, she doesn't think that meeting the Dalai people is worth facing their homeland and risking my life.

Beliefs/facts on the Dreglund, as Ikkies tell them:

- No water can be drunk in it, not even the one that falls from the sky. - The desert will lose you in it, and only star navigation allows its crossing. - Salt bogs will turn you into a salt-mummy and preserve you so well your soul will remain trapped within. - Akambo bloodsuckers will drain you dry. - Dalai people will kill you if you reach the other side. (This one has many variant, with Dalai killing you on sight, eating you, or keeping you as slave. They have a broad back.)

Even the herders and grass-cutters I've met with, who often venture in the Dreglund for a day trip harvesting blue bladed tuft (annexe 2), have all tried to discourage me. Damasia did report the Ikkies' superstitions around it were strong, but I didn't expect this much resistance.

Julli 4th

Went to say farewell to Bank's caravan. Etti came with me. They were loaded with salt and took my letters and the copies of my travelogue I redacted during our trip together (ah, the endless days swaying under the sun with nothing to see but grasses swaying to a different rythm). It was the last thing I had to take care of. I am done packing, and leaving tomorrow morning at dawn. Etti and a youngster called Meluk braided my hair in a fashion they say will bring me luck.

Julli 5th

Finished setting camp, if you can call "sitting in your fibrococoon" setting camp. Everything is as bleak as was described to me, and as amazing as I expected it to be: the endless shimmer of the water, broken by grasses of colours my pens can do no justice to. The noise of bubbles and insects giving the place a constant hum, besides my splashes–and I seem to be the only creature making splashes here! I've seen no fish of any size, no amphibians either, no salt spires, no Dalai... I'm commiting a lot of what I'm seeing to Long-Memory. No point in wasting paper. I have learned nothing new on this gorgeous, endless plane of poisonous water in which little ekes a living. But so far everything I have read about it turned out to be true, including the water never rising higher than my shins.

Julli 6th - Morning

May not have seen much wildlife, but the wildlife saw me... I believe I met the infamous akambo, which are much bigger than I thought. Red blazing eyes in the night, snorting noises and the liquid sound of limbs accustomed to moving smoothly through water... They didn't get to me, but I understand how Ikkies without an Explorator's fibrococoon would be threatened. Tired from the broken sleep but moving on. Loads of ground to cover again.

Julli 8th

Today I've learnt two things. I guess I can only blame myself for not figuring this out sooner. I woke to find my bag gone. It was over twenty meters away from me, and shredded through. All my water was gone, yet the bag was still pegged against the same tuft of blue grass. So. When the Ikkies say Dregl ik svafar – the desert will lose you – they mean to say the desert moves under your feet. I've looked closer and seen the signs, the rising silt along hair-thin fault-lines. I am standing in an ankle deep ocean coating tremendous plate tectonic. The persistent buzzing sound, I wager, may even come from this permanent shuffle. And when Ikkies say akambo will suck you dry, they don't mean that they're exclusive bloodivores, but that they'll drink any fluid they find, from my water reserves to, eventually, my blood. I'm getting thirsty, but only have my standard water purifier. Using it in the notoriously foul water of the Dreglund could well sign my end.

Julli 11th

Was so thirsty. Burning pain and hallucinia–cination. Water purified was BEST thing ever ever. Until night. So sick. Like water from my bdy needed out, every pore, out out. Doing Akambo work for thm. Shame. I walked, so much. Sick and walk. Scared to it–eat more. It's horribe–ble, the thirst, with water EVERYWHERE, just there, but drink and die? No. Akambo stalking still. Where are the Dalai?

Andi 26th

Dear Enkor

Eloi says that when he found me, I looked like a salt-mummy, with my white Eastern-Empire hair, the shreds of my fibrococoon tangled around me, propped as I was against a salt spire. Yet I was clinging to life, with arms bitten, eyes sunken, and breath foul, smelling of old vomit I hadn't dared to wash away. He says I was clutching my notebook in my comatose sleep, and that he guessed at my profession after wrestling it from me and browsing through it. Though he did not understand the script, he marvelled at my drawings of landscapes, portraits, jewels, hairdos – documenting whole cultures – all the way to my last: a dead akambo, with its neck twisted. The hand there is shaky, the sketch rough. I was dying.

Please hold no hard feelings. Eloi did wake me. He spoke Ikkurie. I did understand his offer, though my addled brain thought he was a Dalai god, more than a Dalai man. Had I come all this way to meet them, to draw their faces, sketch their cultures? Yes, I said, I was looking for you, because no one ever found you before. He says he felt torn, that no matter what he did, he'd kill an aspect of my self. The person or the Explorator. You see, Dalai means "Of the desert". Because once he pressed his slashed wrist to my mouth, I would become Dalai, my entire body changing to adapt and embrace the Dreglund. No water now can nourish me but that which once almost killed me. It hydrates and feeds. In the deep wells, you can breath it. This is where the Dalai cities lay, Enkor: under poisonous waters. No wonder we only heard about these people through rumours! Maybe my presence will change things a little? More trading at the border? Enough for me to hear from you, I hope, and collect the fame of my discoveries! Please find attached all my notes, see them published and send me a crate-load of hydrobooks. You can make my speech at the Assemblies. Tell them I won't drop my mantle: Eloi is lovely, but if he thinks I will stop marvelling, learning and writing because I am trapped in one of the greatest mystery of our age, he has a lot to learn about me!

Warmest regards,

Ilkaria Explorator

~~ November 2017 – Theme : Water

[kaiba-fangirl]

Fill in the questions/statement as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse

Tag 10 people to do this meme, (repost, don’t reblog)

TAGGED BY: not @rogueprinceconsort =P & I know I’m not a RP blog, but I am a fanfic author so I still do the same kind of stuff, just everyone at once with chapters, so I’m sure ya won’t mind... idk itching to write Seto but his mind is all over the place in Ch7 of And You? (AO3/FFN), & I know I’ve missed a bunch of personal tags in the past, so, well, I’m here now. TAGGING: anyone 1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

“Seto Kaiba.”  (海馬 瀬人 Kaiba, Seto)

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

He narrows his eyes, already suspicious. “Legally, that IS my real name.”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT?

“I was born Seto,” he answers flatly, then smirks. “The Kaiba family name I earned for myself and my little brother at the age of 10, when Gozaburo agreed to adopt us thanks to my, superior negotiating skills.” [Seto after Egyptian Pharaoh Seth. Kaiba for, apparently, hippocampus/seahorse.]

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? “Taken. Happily married to the number 1 female duelist, Mai Valentine. She’s now heading the new Fashion Tech and Merchandise Department at Kaiba Corp.” [but he’s also still looking >.>]

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS? “Just bleeding edge technology development and superior dueling skills,” he shrugs smugly. [and hacking.] [You also accidentally activate latent magical powers every so often, dumbass. Sure he’s a genius. A genius that weaves techno-sorcery into everything & commands gods without even knowing it.] “Anything else you may have heard about magic or spirits or real monsters, is all just nonsense hocus pocus. It’s sensationalists trying to make our amazingly life-like holographic projections seem dangerous.”

6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU. “Heh, doesn’t that just mean born talented? You should be so lucky.”

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR? “Blue,” he chuckles childishly. “It was probably what first drew me to, you know, Blue-Eyes, when I was young.” [It’s not. The Blue-Eyes White Dragon was his magical monster of light ‘girlfriend’ in Ancient Egypt in a past life of his 3000 years ago.]

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR? “Chestnut.”

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? “Living, my little brother, Mokuba, and now my lovely wife.”

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS? “No pets. I barely have time for having two people in my life now it seems, and that’s even with Mokuba off travelling.” [any pet energy is expended on more Blue-Eyes White Dragon themed everything]

11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. “You wanna see a REAL Gary Stu?! As in, there is no reason he should have made it this far?! Joey fuckin Wheeler. This loser stole his way into my tournament, then has the nerve to even challenge me for 3rd place as if that meant anything, and he still ends up 4th even?! How! He operates on pure luck, and leeching off his ‘friends!’ His deck is a mess, I mean have you even seen his lineup?!?!” [Well that would all be redacted. Now, since this is for an interviewer for a published article...] He calmly and thoughtfully looks off at a spot on the far wall behind the interviewer. He purses his lips and furrows his brow, genuinely distraught, drawing from a direct encounter. “I’m actually more concerned than ever about the state of refugees- whether they have that official label or not. Around the world. Especially the children. These children don’t know what’s going on, and people say they care about children, but they really don’t. They’re not thinking of those kids- of refugee kids. Of poor kids. Of orphans or abused kids. And the way these refugees are being treated, those kids are getting hit with all those things at once. Ya know, I- I was fortunate enough to have that opportunity to be adopted, in a strong first-world nation, but I know what it’s like, to know that the grown ups are just using you, not listening to you. You’re nothing to them; maybe pawns. Now, I’m doing all I can, as president of Kaiba Corp, but there is still only so much we can do. We’re not making tanks or any weapons at all anymore-” He chokes at the thought of a tank staring him down specifically, compared to the latest news. He clears his throat to manage. “Not since the day I took over. We may not be contributing to that military industrial complex anymore, but the state of refugees today is still just as bad if not worse. Now they’re using weapons outlawed by the Geneva Conventions, and in countries that pride themselves on freedom and opportunity. Pteh. It’s madness. It’s evil.” [...aaand that just became the cover story] [We’ll be back after after a short break.]

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING? “Besides dueling, uh, tinkering. Reading. Hacking into random databases I shouldn’t be in.”

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? “Next question. Don’t even print that, or you’ll be hearing from my lawyers. And they don’t play so nice.” [By ‘lawyers’ I’m pretty sure he just means goons.]

14. EVER… KILLED ANYONE BEFORE? "No.” [Gozaburo.]

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? "Dragon.”

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. "Tch, I wouldn’t have gotten to be president of a multi-billion-dollar corporation if I had bad habits.”  [That is literally his worst habit. Also how he got there is because of all his bad habits.] He chuckles at what he’s about to make fun of. “Then again, some people think that working too much is a bad habit.”

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL? "How could I when I’m already on top?”

18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? "Irrelevant.” He smiles menacingly. “Card games are more important anyway.” [Bi and trying to figure out how to tell his wife. Then again once he does that, the press will be easy. Possibly also grey ace or demi, since he does enjoy the physical aspects of being married & his crush.]

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? “Graduated high school early and then went right back to work as CEO, at the time. I don’t have time to waste getting a piece of paper to validate my knowledge that I’m already putting to use at Kaiba Corp everyday. --but I certainly support everyone staying in school as long as they can. Kaiba Corp offers a free college tuition program for any employee, paid ahead of time, and schedules can be worked around class and homework time as needed.”

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY? “I never thought I would want to marry, but I have always assumed I would want to adopt. Now I am married, and we both want to adopt. Someday. It needs to be when I can have time for them...” [and he’s wondering why you are supposed to only marry one person...]

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS? “Yeah,” he laughs, genuinely embarrassed at this level of pure idolization, “I find it endearing to see people dress up as Yugi and I at events.”

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? “Losing my little brother.”

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? “Full-length pants, tight fitting turtlenecks, boots, and a trenchcoat. More leather and straps and buckles, the better.”

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? “Of course. My little brother and my wife.” [and Joey]

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF? [he just makes this face:]

[but possibly the last time he did hard drugs]

26. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS) “Highest class.” He winks, for the spotlight.

27. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? “I don’t need ‘friends’ outside of my family.”

28. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? “Finally, an intelligent question!” he laughs rudely. “My thoughts are that we should change the standard approximation for π to something closer to 3.16. That’s what I use in my calculations, and I find things just seem to work out better for me because of it.”

29. FAVORITE DRINK? “I’ve started drinking a lot more water, and I think that’s pretty much all I drink lately.”

30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE? “It’s comforting being in my office, knowing where I belong, knowing that with me there, everyone I love is safe, knowing how I got there, and being proud of all I’ve accomplished, but...” [sometimes anxiety about it being Gozaburo’s old office creeps into his mind like an evil spirit or ghost...] “But more than that, I enjoy the wild freedom of just taking my Blue-Eyes jet out with some good music playing.” [oh my various gods he will always be an emo teen at heart <3]

31. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? He scoffs. “Yes, I am genuinely interested in my wife. Mai is an amazing person. And- Ah, and, um, next question?” [and Joey!]

32. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY? “What kind of magazine is this for, anyway?” he asks as an aside, then thinks up a ridiculous enough response. “Ever hear of Zorc? I’d say that’s roughly one-third the size of mine.” Under his breath, he scoffs in disgust. “Imbeciles.”

33. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? “Er, a private pool, thanks. Too many paparazzi anyplace else, and I wouldn’t want to close off anything from the public.” [I hear there’s a river in Egypt he lives in though]

34. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? “Independent. Strong. Great duelist. Someone who knows what it’s like at rock bottom, but still managed to claw their way to the top...” [he spaces out off to the side]

35. ANY FETISHES? *zoom out to room full of Blue-Eyes White Dragon themed EVERYTHING* “Nah.” [*insert Will Smith presenting his AO3 tags]

36. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

[Switch! But “And You?” is stuck at a T rating, sooo...]

37. CAMPING OR INDOORS? "The fuck- you’re giving me whiplash with these questions,” he mutters. “Camping sounds nice. Real camping. Mokuba and I used to build forts and play outside a lot. I should ask him if he wants to go on a camping trip when he gets back. I doubt- well, no, I think Mai would like that, too.” [And Joey can cook them “candy bars!”]

38. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?

[teampunkzine]

I wanna apply but...

I get it. We’ve all been there. Zines are a beautiful, strange thing and we just get so pumped to participate. Maybe you’ve just got wind of what a zine even is. Maybe you’ve been watching them develop from a long time, even buying some. Maybe you’ve already applied to some before. Maybe you’ve been rejected.

So, you want to apply. But...

I don’t think my art is good enough

This is a valid concern we all go through. There’s just so many pretty, popular art and fic going around and sometimes we just feel frustrated. 

But, what as the artist you may see as ‘’boring’’ or ‘’nothing special’’, as a spectator we may be extremely moved. There’s so many skilled artists and writers I’ve heard saying their creations weren’t good enough. It shakes me. 

What you think it’s not good enough, it’s usually you being very hard of yourself. Of freaking course there’s always room for improvement! And a big part of that frustration you feel with your art comes from that part of you that knows you are capable of so much more! and YOU ARE! You are a human being with the amazing skill of creation! You have the space to grow and develop as big as you want to!

But, my golden advice? Give yourself the time and patience for that growth. Don’t stop trying, don’t stop practising but also be kind with yourself. A great chunk of the artistic cycle is having blocks and resting, living experiences that will eventually help you grow as an artist and a human being. 

You are already being the best artist version of yourself that you can be at the moment.

I’m going to get rejected/ I’ve already tried in so many zines and I always get rejected 

Are you sure, though? Are you sure? Do you have physic powers? Can you see what I’m going to do next month? If you are already looking there, by the way, can you please peek and tell me if I’m going to have a gf by then?

I’d advice not giving up based on previous experiences. We are not those other zines, we are not those other mods. Hell, you are not even the same artist! You’ve grown! This is a whole different situation and experience. 

I’m not going to sugarcoat it: You may get rejected. Or you may not. You don’t know that, I don’t know that.

What I do know is that there are 0% chances of getting in if you don’t apply.

You ask for a submission of two of my best pieces. I don’t know which of my works are my best

I always have this doubt when applying for zines. It’s nerve wrecking! I feel like I get one shot and I have to do it right! 

Well, in our case, you have 2 shots. So, if you are in between 2 options, you can post both ;D 

Apart from that, I always ask a server/a friend/a pal from somewhere which one they think it’s more impressive. If it’s a fandom friend, I explain it’s for a zine. If it’s an irl person, I’m just asking their opinion for something bussiness-related.

In the case you don’t have the option of consulting someone, I reccomend you take a few days without looking or thinking about it. Then, go back and watch/read your stuff with fresh eyes. 

A few criteria to self evaluate your pieces...

Art: Think of the use of lighting/shadows, characterization, anatomy, color use. The most important question is, though... ‘’do I like this?’’ ‘’am i happy i did this?’’ . If you like it, it will work <3

Writing: Think of it being clearly redacted, of the emotion it conveys (if it fits whatchu wanted it to convey). Again, the most important question is ‘’do i like this?’’ ‘’am i happy i did this?’’’ If you like it, it will work <3

You ask for a submission of a previous Hunk+Pidge piece. I don’t have any.

We ask an example of your work depicting Hunk and Pidge for two very simple reasons. 

1) We want to see the characters through your eyes, we want to know what you bring to the table.

2) We want to rule out any possibilities of whitewashing Hunk, making him overly skinny or oversexualizing Pidge. Y’know, we just want to see beforehand you respect basic character traits like Hunk being fat and dark skinned and Pidge being a human being without anime-like titties. I’m not saying this to scare you. I’m not saying this to police you. We just want to avoid any uncomfy conversations in the future!

Apart from that? GO WILD WITH YOUR TAKE ON THEM! Add a beard on Hunk, give Pidge green hair, give everyone 80s clothes! As long as we can still see the characters we love, we are okay with you going off the mold. Hell, we encourage you to!

If you are a writer, a simple drabble with the two of them interacting would do. If you are an artist, a simple colored drawing it’s okay by us!

I’ve never been in a zine before

And if you let us be your first, that’d be our honor! It’s my first time modding a zine too!

We are not looking at your resume. So, to us, it’s not a problem. It’s okay to be scared or nervous, specially if this is your first zine! But remember: you won’t be alone! Us mods are here to guide you and help you! And you’d have the rest of the participants too! We are all new in something, this is a chance for each of us to grow and learn!

I’m not a popular artist/writer

*motions around* ...and this is not a popular team of characters... 

We are not popular ourselves. We are not looking for popular people. We are not looking at your follower count, the number of reblogs you have or the comments your fic gets. We are looking at what you offer us, at those submissions you deem your best, at your take on Hunk and Pidge, at what you can bring to the table.

Will I squeal if I recognize your name? Yes, because I’m happy someone I already know is here. Will I holler and yodelei around bc of your submission piece and see how much you bring into the table? HELL YEAH DUDE.

The application form scares me/ I haven’t even looked at it.

Oof. Filling forms for me is scary. But that’s when you know you’ve got stuff to lose! This? This is for FUN! 

An advice? Look at the form first and write down in a piece of paper what you will need. I swear, until you submit, all the times you look at the form won’t be decisive. 

I swear the more you look at it, the less scary it gets. To break it down, we ask for very basic stuff: examples of your work, examples of your work featuring Hunk and Pidge and a profile where we can peek at more of your stuff. Oh, and a mail where we can contact you. That’s the important stuff. The rest are questions to know what’s in your mind, who are we interacting with. We’d like you to fill it but if you don’t know what to answer, say just that. It’s okay <3

So, it’s okay! It’s for fun! YOU CAN DO THIS :D

You don’t want me to apply :(

There’s nothing more i want in this world right now that u filling that damned application form, boi.

IM STAYING UP TILL 4 AM TO WRITE THIS !!!!! :))))

I can’t find the application form

There you go ;)

A zine is not an élite art gallery. We do have a selection stage but we are also that space where you can practise, interact with other creators and make the best of yourself! We are just looking for passionate creators!!! Applying is the first step to get there. If you don’t apply and you want to, you are not even giving yourself the chance to participate!

As my dad says: you put the effort, the other evaluates it. You can only just control the effort and love you put in so invest your time and energy worrying about that, not about the result.

WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!! WE WANT YOU TO APPLY!!!!!!

love,

Mod Ami

[hillbillyoracle]

Why I haven’t been posting lately...

I’m putting what I wrote for a reddit post warning people away from my landlord beneath a cut. It’s been pretty hellish and I’ve been scared/nervous to talk about it but I want people to know what’s going on isn’t small. 

In addition to what I wrote below, we realized the stairs aren’t well constructed after I fell down half a flight of them on Monday evening - in bare feet (no socks) on hardwood flooring. The ledges bend in different directions and I slipped/tripped on one that wasn’t level. The whole right side of my body is a series of black and purple bruises, my feet and hands got scraped up by baseboards that didn’t seem to get sanded. I’m still recovering. 

More below the cut:

TL;DR: What we’ve dealt with since moving into a [landlord redacted] place:

- They were hard to get a hold of and now they won’t respond at all

- Multiple code violations they either didn’t fix or placed the onus on us to arrange for

- Zip Code is wrong on the lease which made getting our drivers licenses and such a pain

- Charged us for rent we already paid multiple times; put notice on door

- Charged us for HOA fees incurred before we moved in

- Maintenance guy is incredibly incompetent and condescending

- They’ve failed to do anything about the roach infestation

- They started up a construction project next door that’s active 12 hours a day

Other than what we’ve seen personally:

- They have code violations on record with the city

- The owner's twitter features the line “It’s all about whose ox is getting gored” - guess his tenants are the ox.

- He weirdly almost gloats about kicking people out and upcharging the next tenants

More Info:

We had to move very quickly and weren’t able to research places as well as we would have liked. So I’m writing this to make it easier for other folks to know what they’re getting into with them. If you’re okay with all of this, then by all means, I support you renting from them. But it was certainly too much for us and I wanted to spare other folks what I could.

I’m actually afraid to share this as I wouldn’t put it past them to be retaliatory, to make a up a reason to kick us out over being more public about what they’ve done. Tried to put it on a throwaway but alas.

I think the best summary of both [landlord’s] property and their service is what my partner said - “It’s not really living, it’s surviving, and that’s not really what I look for in a home.”

So many things have gone wrong at this place that I’m going to go thematically rather than chronologically. Which is wild given that we’ve only been living in the place for three months.

The workmanship in this place is horrible. There are shelves falling out of the wall. The dishwasher leaked and then the maintenance guy “fixed it” by having it overflow through the sink which leaves a bunch of crud in it. They didn’t even both trying to make the basement floor remotely level so our washer and dryer are on stilts – the best fix we can manage right now. Every now and then they come off them and rock around which I’m sure isn’t great for the machine.

They got the zip code wrong on the lease which has caused problems trying to get identifying documents switched over and other things switched over. Small but important. Since they’re nigh impossible to contact (see further down) we’ve mostly not bothered trying to get this sorted with them but it’s been a real pain.

When we moved in, we paid 6 months ahead. A mistake, yes, we know. But they kept trying to charge us for rent we’d already paid. We contacted them three times about the charges on the account and still they packing taped a failure to pay rent notice on our door.

They’ve continually tried to charge us for things we do not have to pay. They tried to charge us for a fee they incurred before we moved in and when we pointed it out to them they did not apologize. The second time they did it they didn’t contact us at all and we had to repeatedly check to see if it’d been removed.

We figured out this was because the yard crew kept pulling our trash can out and not putting it back so we asked them to stop yard services - which we never signed up for. We had to ask them 4 separate times and even then we only got them stopped when we paid for a lock and put it on the back gate and the mower came to talk with us.

The maintenance guy is not only very incompetent but completely condescending. He was two hours late and gave no heads up. I had to call to get any updates. When I tried talking to him about it when he arrived, he walked in essentially said that he’d done nothing wrong and walked away while I was in the middle of a sentence. He would not tell me what was going on and flat out ignored my questions. Our dog is epileptic and was getting nervous with all the strangers and loud noises so I decided to take him away from the apartment for a while. I tried to find the man and again was ignored. Once he realized I’d left he called to yell at me for leaving.

When we moved in they pointed out that they were aware that the basement electrical outlets were not up to code and gave us a number of an electrician to call. We called him and never heard back. Our basement is still not up to code.

They also pointed out they knew our backyard was a flood risk and said they’d be sending someone to fix that. They never have. It’s basically a pond out there when it rains and it’s filled with mosquitos.

We asked about bugs well before we moved in. We were assured they’d send someone to spray. We contacted them multiple times about it. They eventually sent their maintenance guy who left us with a couple roach traps and some spray that did nothing. Our kitchen, even after a month of keeping everything spotless is still infested. He said that the root of the problem was the abandoned house next door and he couldn’t do anything about it.

We found out two days later that the house was not abandoned and they owned it so they could do something about it. Because they began very very loud construction without any notice, construction that was happening for 11 hours a day. When we contacted them initially, they were very condescending, saying it was just because it’d been unoccupied for a while and we weren’t used to the noise (we’ve both lived in shared housing for almost a decade at this point) but said that they’d limit the hours to business hours Monday – Friday. But then without contacting us further and ignoring all our calls and emails – they continued to work 11-12 hours a day. I still cannot understand why they promised it at all and then turned around and go against it. It’s just spiteful.

They’ve ignored all of our emails for 2 weeks straight. We cannot get in contact with them.

A person we’ve never interacted with from their company called us to ask about our dishwasher, meanwhile they’d ignored 5-6 emails we’d sent trying to get more information about what was happening. What a blatant way to say we don’t care about you, just our property.

I am disabled, I do what work I can out of my home and my partner works from home several days a week. This has forced me to basically live somewhere else in order to sustain any kind of income and has taken a major toll on my health. Even if I did have a 9-5 job, I’d still be dealing with this an hour before and two to three hours afterward. When I am at the house I’m getting up early and staying out late just to not have to deal with the noise.

In trying to find out what I could about them more recently, I found that they have at least one code violation they were found guilty of and had to pay the city.

We also found that the owner of the company has a twitter in which he kind of weirdly gloats about kicking people out of their homes and doing very little work so that he can charge people more money. His bio features the line “It’s all about who’s ox is getting gored” – guess the ox are his tenants. I’m now very very skeptical of his “trouble tenants” as I wonder if they didn’t refuse to pay for a place he wouldn’t fix and he kicked them out, “upgraded” the place, and upcharged the next tenants. He brands himself as an entrepreneur and adding value but I can tell you this house is made to sell, not to sustain actual human life in them.

A warning to women and queer people: I would especially advise women and queer people away from this company. They’ve been really weird about my partner and I living together. We told them when we moved in we were a couple and yet weirdly we just get referred to as roommates or just grouped together under “ladies”. It’s really uncomfortable. With the maintenance guy being as patronizing and horrible as he was, I wouldn’t want another woman to have to go through that but it’s whatever you’re comfortable with in the end I suppose.

So that’s what I’d want people to know about doing business with [landlord]. More power to you if you want to but I would never ever recommend them to anyone.

If you know of anything we can do about this, let me know but I'm not hopeful.

Editing to Add Some Pictures

We could post a lot more but I feel like these sum it up for right now: https://imgur.com/a/uzXQPzM

[6fu]

Letters from Friends, Fall 1148

To my dearest, sweetest boy, Tander;

What’s this I hear about you coming home and not stopping by? One day I go out and the gossip is flying about a chase and a boat, and now half the dock inspectors are fired, and some little Tenderpaw in a hat was in the middle of it? I was mortified to have people telling me things about my own son that I didn’t know. How dare you put me in that position! You were so close to home you could have thrown a rock through the window and you didn’t even wave? All your life and what does it get ya? Thanks a lot and out with the garbage.

Please remember that your father and I are wild with pride and support you in everything. I’ve included a batch of your favorite cookies. Please don’t eat them all at once.

Love MOM

Dear Sable,

My thoughts are with you. I heard the story, the parts we know for sure at least, and more than anyone else I’m concerned for you. You’ve never lost anyone in your service, have you? Please reach out to us this summer, the older mice who have been there and chosen what to do next. You decide, but you are not alone. Believe me. No one is alone. I lost a tenderpaw once, three years before I was charged with Isolde. If you want to trade stories, please say so.

Bronwyn, Guard Captain

Hello Zeke. I wanted to thank you again for doing us that favor. Reginald is ruined. He has a product with no buyers, and a lifetime ban from shipping through Port Sumac, Darkwater, and Mapleharbor to boot. He didn’t see that coming… but I did! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t make jokes. It makes people nervous and gives them the wrong ideas. I’m always telling them “Don’t you mind about the future. Don’t you try to think ahead. Save tomorrow for tomorrow, think about today instead”. I try to show them there is a path to prepare for, but so many get hung up on the details they stumble into it completely off guard. Good luck with your curse Zeke. I find they only fall on those that can shoulder them.

-The Seer Juniper

Patrol Leader Francisca,

I have been bested by the waves. Regretfully, our weapons were not recovered before the harbor began to ice. Thank you for breaking my mistake. Juniper has swayed me back to Orthodoxy, and I trudge east through the snow. Lina will answer for the mockery she made of us. And I know if I’ll only be true to this glorious quest, that my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I’m laid to my rest. If war is in our future, and if I have hastened it, then I can no longer run. She will die by whatever blade I can reach.

From Harford

TO: Gloves & Velvet Woodstuff’s Grove [CORRESPONDENCE REDACTED FOR YOUR BENEFIT BY THE OFFICE OF MAYOR CAVRE]

I hope this letter finds you well. It is with the greatest regret I must confirm what you may have already heard. Your son has died. The immediate circumstances are not clear, and it is my top priority to determine the facts. Marx embodied the best of the Mouse Guard. His dedication to service above all else was inspiring. There are communities thriving today because of him. He was an asset, but he was also a friend.There’s a grief that can’t be spoken, and there’s a pain goes on and on, but Marx would be the first to say that we cannot stop for it when there is work to be done.

Always grateful, Gwendolyn, Matriarch of the Mouse Guard

To our dearest granddaughter,

You don’t know how much joy it brings us to have you in the family, even if you haven’t visited since it became official. We love you all the same. If we only knew what was to come when you were on our porch those months ago! Now you two, the two of us, and Hops, we’re a typical family quintet. Hops says hello, by the way. He’s been trying to do everything himself at the brewery, shoving us out like we’re already useless. But it’s because he cares. He’d blow his lid if he saw us saying so though, like chaos never happens if it’s never seen. But you’re family now! No secrets! We have so much to catch you up on. You’re always welcome to our house on Maple Avenue.

From your doting grandparents, Stout and Poppy

For Isolde [one copy delivered, one placed on permanent file, one delivered to Quartermaster Genrui]

Following your patrol’s requisition of four hares on emergency detatchment, three returned themselves to the stable and had nothing out of the ordinary to say. One hare, the one you rode upon, returned early and I’ve spent weeks convincing him not to quit. Our relationship with our dear friends, the hares, is vital to our purpose. My job is to maintain that relationship. To take care of their needs, to show them they’re appreciated, to listen to their dreams. But that’s never going to happen if they get treated like livestock instead of our equal partners! I know what mice whisper in the courtyard: that I’ve gone screwy alone in the stables. Whatever they say about me, I don’t care! Have fun gallavanting about the territories without a care in the world; but know that without our hares, Wolfepointe would be a mess of hoofprints. If you’re typical of the guardsmice out there I’m happy to remain in Lockhaven. I’d rather be me than be with you. Enclosed is an invoice for the extra time and treats it took to get things under control.

Meredith, stable-keeper of Lockhaven

[maraschinocheri]

Best of 2017 Countdown #1 :: Him, brought home. [ 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 ]

What could I possibly say that I haven’t said already, and multiple times? Maybe this: that Killian Donnelly’s return to Les Miserables to play Jean Valjean six years and a day after he took his last bows as Enjolras seemed like an only half-possible dream, one I imagined might come true in another five years if we were lucky, but then just—did, here and now.

Investment can be defined as an act of devoting time, effort, talent, or emotional energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result. To say that Killian is invested in Les Mis, and vice versa, would be a colossal understatement, but let’s go with it anyway. In an ideal world, an actor retains more than just respectful memory of a good first professional job, especially if said actor has walked into that job through the side door, utterly without training beyond amateur dramatics, but with one hell of a rich voice, a rough presence, and enough self-deprecatory cheer to knock over jaded producers. That Killian takes every chance possible to credit Les Mis for everything it’s given him since all the way back in 2008—for the education and experience and friendships and the rounding off of his many physical and vocal edges as he progressed from Swing to Enjolras in 2010/2011—is a testament to his love for the show, and good god, does it ever love him back. If I remember correctly, the only male roles he’s not played in the show are Marius and Thenardier, and he’s found something to bring to every other.

Still, Valjean is no bone-throw of a gift to an actor, even one so deeply part of the Les Mis family. It is an investment in an actor and his gifts both as actor and as man, a mutual commitment between show and actor to carry this monster on that actor’s shoulders and back, sometimes somewhat literally. He may have been surprised by the call to audition for Valjean—I say may because I don’t entirely believe that, whatever enthusiastic bright-eyed and bubbling noises he’s made to that effect in interviews—but he should not have been. No one in a position to influence or be influenced could have missed the trajectory Killian had taken over the last few years, and the timing was good for both the show and Killian himself. The trust implied in allowing Killian to step in with what was essentially fewer than ten good days of rehearsal after he’d left New York speaks volumes; it means a great deal more than just thinking he’d remember how to deal with the revolve.

So, the casting. After an early spring of going over and over it again in my head and weighing several things that had happened around and with Killian in NYC over the weeks before and one offhand conversation, I woke up on Thursday 27 April thinking this is it, this has to be it; if it’s going to happen, make it today. Baz Bamigboye of the Daily Mail typically releases casting news and/or gossip on Twitter late on Thursday nights in the UK/early Thursday evenings in the US, so I had one screen open with that while another showed something that … might have been work, if I hadn’t been so distracted. Then the news came, and it’s rather pointless for me to even pretend I didn’t tear up and feel that old fanfic trope, that release of breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. (There was also some light screaming.) The rehearsal period was going to be so short and brutal, and Killian would be coming straight off an (albeit joyously, finally) emotional run in Kinky Boots on Broadway, but it would be so worth it.

The West End Live performance was a ride. Killian’s Bring Him Home had me rather nervous, and I didn’t love every choice he made, but One Day More was perfection—it was so wonderful to hear Valjean carry the song, and to hear that glorious voice ring out every single One day more! through the crashing wildness at the end of it. I knew at that point that all would be well, that even so soon into the run he’d found something to act as foundation and that he’d continue to grow in the role—and he has. The photo above of him onstage in Trafalgar Square, alone, looking out into the crowd that day made my cold, blackened heart fill with warmth and an absolutely ridiculous, unearned pride that hasn’t abated yet.

Is Killian’s Valjean perfect? No; this year’s resident direction has rushed the production to a point where emotional impact suffers, costing Killian in terms of getting some of Valjean’s truly strong moments across; and he’s occasionally still just as baffled by the end of Who Am I? as he was when he was covering the role. Is his Valjean truly his own? For the most part; there is little to point to in his take that one can say ‘belongs’ to other Valjeans, certainly not to the ones with whom he worked from 08–11. Is it worth the time and effort and the emotional energy—the investment of the show and of Killian himself? Indisputably.

No matter how many words I throw at this screen, I can’t put across how much it is. That beautiful clear bell of a voice that both carried the most gorgeous version of Bring Him Home I’ve ever heard is not what you hear now; it has matured, obviously, as has Killian. But the years between then and now have not harmed much, and in terms of acting, he can go to the most haunted (and hunted) places now, in ways that never rang completely true before, and as I suspected would happen, in the one-on-one scenes, everything he’s learned over the past few years—most especially in Memphis—has made him an incredibly generous actor, tender and careful in one moment, and challenging and thrillingly baton-passing in the next.

(And given that it is me writing this, a moment in the shallow end of the pool: he looks fucking incredible from Monsieur Madeleine until the finale; it’s as if costumes and makeup and wigs have been waiting for this Valjean their whole lives. I confess to making terribly obscene noises at the first appearance of M. Madeleine in Jeremy Secomb’s scarecam video, and the production photography had me half off my chair. No one is surprised, either by that admission or that I gave that photo precedence above.)

Killian has said that when covering Valjean, the show seemed to fly by in an emotional and physical rush; I imagine both that he’s learned the pacing now but still gets caught up in it, and that while he’s not entirely comfortable in the role of Show Dad the way some Valjeans have been, his leadership is in place and his love and respect for his castmates is genuine. He offers advice when asked (and is down for the Yoda comparison) and strongly encourages the work of the Swings and ensemble. For the beginning of the run, Killian was able to share the stage with his very good mate Jeremy Secomb—a nice way to get his feet back under him again, especially with such a compacted rehearsal time, and a few months they both deeply appreciated. His relationship with Hayden Tee is obviously different, but still massively good fun. Both Javerts have challenged and welcomed and worked with him so well.

And come 22 January, everything levels up another notch and possibly to infinity with the return of David Thaxton as Javert. This was my greatest wish for Killian-as-Valjean: to have this remarkable foil in Thaxton, to allow their intense rapport to translate to these two roles. (For the sake of everyone’s sanity, I’ve redacted a short essay on the loss of their potential Enjolras & Grantaire double-act, which never properly materialized after Killian chose not to accept the role of Grantaire in 2009.) I’d hoped for it for a very long time, knowing that that the possibility required Killian to mature on several levels and Thaxton to not grow bored or bitter. Having talked about the possibilities involved there quite a lot before, I won’t go further into them now (though I certainly could, given Killian’s take on Valjean as it stands at the moment), but I will say that I cannot wait to see what they bring to and out of each other again. (And to catch Killian watching Stars from the wings again, losing it on a whole new level.) As a fan of the show itself, of each actor, and of the combination of all three, I will put on the table right now that the next six months of Les Miserables in the West End are going to be for the books. As the song says, and all our debts are paid.

If you’ve made it this far, I hope you understand a bit why I can’t—and have no intention to—shake that ridiculous, unearned pride in Killian, for returning to the Queens, for bringing with him glorious perspective and maturity and joy and responsibility, for coming back—home.

[celsterunewhisper]

((OOC))

((Transcripts of the IC interview from ‘RUMOURS OF ARATHI HIGHLANDS! UNDEAD SPOTTED IN THE NORTH?‘))

21:19:10 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, mind telling me your whole name and rank within the military? 21:20:08 Raelinda-WyrmrestAccord shakes her head, returning the smile. "Not at all, Ms Runewhisper. I am Corporal Raelinda Silvershine, medic. Thank you for having me." 21:21:18 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: A medic! Ooo! Tell me a bit more. Are you well experienced on the field with your talents? 21:21:38 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Is this why you joined the military? Or, was there another reason you were interested? 21:23:06 [Raelinda-WyrmrestAccord]: As a Sister of Elune, I try to go where I feel I am most needed. In this case, it was the military. All I've ever wished to do was help and heal others. 21:23:55 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: People like you are heros on a whole other scale. I always envy those with healing skills. Is this your first campaign? 21:24:46 [Raelinda-WyrmrestAccord]: I joined... hmm, it would be a little over a year ago, now. Strange how fast things seem to move. *chuckles* It is not my first campaign with the 47th, and I hope it won't be the last. 21:26:30 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: In you own voice and words, what initially brought you--the regiment--to Stromgarde originally? Hasn't the Alliance army already won these lands over a while ago? 21:26:34 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: your own* ) 21:30:49 [Raelinda-WyrmrestAccord]: To put it perhaps too literally, I go where I am told to go. As you yourself have put it, we only won these lands a while ago, and that while is short. 21:33:49 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, what about these 'animal attacks' that have been going on? Do they really need an entire militia AND Alliance forces to protect against wild creatures? 21:34:26 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Does it tie into the rumors on the streets of Stormwind about Sylvannas Loyalists still roam around? 21:34:37 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: still roaming around up here* ) 21:35:40 Raelinda-WyrmrestAccord raises her eyebrows a touch, tilting her head. "Unfortunately, I know very little of Stormwind, other than the layout of it's streets and the stories of it's refugees and other homeless. I can't answer that as well as someone from the city." 21:36:18 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Thank you for your time, Miss Silvershine. 21:36:39 [Raelinda-WyrmrestAccord]: And you for yours, Ms Runewhisper. *smiles*

----------------------------------

21:37:06 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, what is your full name and rank in the army? 21:37:27 [Koreva-WyrmrestAccord]: Corporal, Koreva Gor. 21:37:31 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: And, why did you decide to enlist? 21:38:25 Koreva-WyrmrestAccord had to think for a little " to protect those who cant protect themselves" 21:39:21 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: A reasonable reason! As always, thank you for your service. 21:40:11 [Koreva-WyrmrestAccord]: its a honor to fight for our adoptive home, miss. 21:40:38 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, what brought the regiment here? Arathi has been stable in the Alliance hands for months now. 21:40:43 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Why the change? 21:41:45 [Koreva-WyrmrestAccord]: afraid i dont know, at best all i know is that our regiment was told to come and i have faith in my officers to give me the right amount of information so that i may perform my duty correctly and effectivly. 21:43:16 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: You don't know? Not even a bit as a Corporal? Are you admitting that it's a disorganized confusion being here? 21:47:53 [Koreva-WyrmrestAccord]: i am not, we are vary orginized in our ranks and how we handle things. 21:48:31 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Mhm... 21:50:07 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, what do you think is going on here? Is it really animals causing this much panic? Kolbold attacks in Elwynn were treated with less urgency. Does this have anything to do with the rumours of Sylvannas Loyalists and a potential new Scourge? 21:52:59 [Koreva-WyrmrestAccord]: my thoughts on all of this is rather simple compared to others, we are sent here to investigate what is going on, to set the public at eas and help as many civilians as possible. 21:53:27 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Ah, so you DO know something. Thank you for your time, Miss Gor. 21:53:34 [Koreva-WyrmrestAccord]: i dont know .... 21:53:45 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Indescisive Corporals... 21:53:47 [Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord]: Ms. Runewhisper, please don't put words in my sodiers' mouths. 21:54:03 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: You're right! Sorry about that, your grace. 21:54:13 [Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord]: Thank you, Corporal.

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21:54:58 [Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord]: Private Goldmane. 21:55:19 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: I love your weapon of choice, Miss. 21:55:34 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: That's an off the record compliment, don't worry. 21:55:43 Marsulu-WyrmrestAccord smiles at Ms. Runewhisper. "Thank you, its an heirloom." 21:55:59 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: What's your full name and rank? 21:56:08 [Marsulu-WyrmrestAccord]: Private Marsulu Goldmane. 21:56:32 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: A Private? How long have you been enlisted? Are you enjoying the military life? 21:57:05 [Marsulu-WyrmrestAccord]: I have been enlisted for about two months now, and yes, it has been a great experience. 21:58:29 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: That's good to hear! What brought your service here in Arathi? Do you find your presence needed with the militia of Stromgarde already here? 22:00:18 [Marsulu-WyrmrestAccord]: Assisting the area during the armistace, as in extra security to support the region is why we are here. I would think that the extra support is always welcomed. Haven't heard any complaints yet. 22:01:34 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: It is an armistace, though. And, with recovering from previous dark forces, why would the Horde even think of breaking said temporary treaty? Do you think extra presence here is actually due to the rumours of Sylvannas Loyalists raising new undead? 22:04:43 [Marsulu-WyrmrestAccord]: Well, for the first question, it is always good to be prepared, even in peace times. Extra patrols have never hurt anyone.  As for the second question, supporting the forces here is our mission, not rumors. 22:05:29 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: That's all I need. Thank you for your time, Miss Goldmane. 22:05:40 Marsulu-WyrmrestAccord nods and smile

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22:06:26 Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord lets forth a wolfish smile "Ma'am, good evening" 22:06:47 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Good evening, sir. What is your full name and rank? 22:07:08 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "Prestor Davenport, Private" 22:07:58 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Davenport. How long have you served with the military? 22:08:40 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "I have been with the Fourtyseventh for about one month" 22:09:09 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: And, how have you been finding the military life so far? 22:09:34 Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord stoicly replies " It suits me just fine Ma'am." 22:10:30 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Is this your first time in Stromgarde, Mr. Davenport? 22:11:30 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "With the Fortyseventh yes" 22:12:00 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: What about other times? 22:12:13 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: I don't need details, just wondering what brought your here before. 22:12:25 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "I was here before some years ago on Gilnean buisness." 22:12:35 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: I see! 22:13:17 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, you are aware the Alliance now has a firm hold on these lands, correct? And, the Stromgarde Militia are well trained forces capable of patrolling and defending the land? 22:13:39 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Considering the part the had to play in the war here. 22:14:20 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "I am aware the Alliance has strong ties to Arathi yes." 22:14:33 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Just your opinion on what you've noticed working alongside the Stromgarde soldiers. 22:15:09 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "They are very hardy and determined soldiers." 22:15:48 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: If that is the case, why do you think they need Alliance forces here as well. ESPECIALLY, considering the Horde would not break a peace treaty in these times. 22:16:24 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Is it because rumours truly lay in the possibility Sylvannas Loyalists are still toying with new undead? 22:16:43 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "No idea, political science is not my area of expertise." 22:17:25 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "I have heard no such reports" 22:18:28 Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord maintained direct eye contact a faint red glow behind the iris 22:18:33 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Good thing I was not asking for political sciences. You have heard of animal attack of course. Why do you think an entire military needs to help 'hardy and determined soldiers' from a few bears and spiders? After they held their own against entire armies 22:18:33 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: of humanoids? 22:19:52 [Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord]: "I do not question the validity of the Alliance mission here. Also the spiders here are huge" 22:20:09 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: That's all I need to know, Mr. Davenport. 22:20:21 Prêstor-WyrmrestAccord nods "Ma'am"

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22:21:29 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Hello! What is your full name and rank, REDACTED? 22:21:53 REDACTED writes on a paper and holds it up. REDACTED 22:22:32 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: A REDACTED! Oh my! Fresh faces! How long have you served? 22:22:56 REDACTED writes on the paper some more. "REDACTED" 22:23:17 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Jeez! 22:23:31 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Is this your first time in Arathi? 22:24:53 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Not exactly! You don't have to answer, though. Me personally, it's my first time here. But, I have read a LOT of history books about it. And, kept up with the War that happened. It's exciting that the Alliance won these lands back, isn't it. 22:25:05 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: ?* ) 22:25:33 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Kinda deserved after the Alliance kept getting the short end of the stick with attacks. 22:26:28 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord repeated herself almost word-for-word, her smile never wavering. "It's deserved after the Alliance kept getting the short end of the stick, hm?" 22:26:40 REDACTED remains silent. 22:28:18 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord wrote about this in her book, reaching for her recorder, "Note: Interviewee had answered with writings as they are unable to speak. End." She looked up at the REDACTED. "I'm sorry, I like to keep the facts straight. Marshal, in order to prove I was getting 22:28:18 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord information from this REDACTED with honest intention, may I take a photo of REDACTED and one of REDACTED written responses? I am ONLY about facts." 22:28:51 [Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord]: Absolutely. 22:29:20 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Just hold up your paper with your last response. I don't want to be called a liar by the public. 22:29:38 *the sound of moving parchment could be heard* 22:30:01 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Hasn't the military already issued such a contract, Marshal? 22:30:05 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: When REDACTED first enlisted? 22:30:47 Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord held out his hand for REDACTED contract, "Allow me to read that, REDACTED." 22:33:15 Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord handed the contract to Celeste, "You may take REDACTED photo, as legal evidence if necessary, but it's not to be published in any magazines or newspapers." 22:34:00 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: It will only be used for legal evidence. Just like all my recordings. I want my 'i's dotted and 't's crossed. Let me sign that.~ 22:35:41 [LANGUAGE REDACTED]: *REDACTED* 22:36:11 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: I have to take your picture first with your last reported answer, and then I have one final question. 22:36:32 [Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord]: In REDACTED, REDACTED. 22:36:55 You let out a long, drawn-out sigh. 22:37:20 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: I want your response to my last question. This proves nothing in front of a judge or public prosecutor. 22:38:38 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Just your last response you wrote, I think you answered "Why do you find it so exciting miss". 22:39:22 You let out a long, drawn-out sigh. 22:40:17 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord picked up her gnomish recorder, speaking into it. "Null and void interview with REDACTED. Difficult for follow up evidence. End." 22:40:40 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Thank

you for your time avoiding my questions, REDACTED. Do not worry about your answers publicized.

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22:43:40 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: What is your full name and rank, miss? 22:43:49 [Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord]: Corporal Dymphna Hempstead 22:44:01 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Another Coporal! How long have you served. 22:44:12 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord returns the smile sweetly. "Five months" 22:44:29 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: And, how had military life treated you? 22:44:50 [Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord]: Quite well, i've enjoyed my time with the military 22:45:44 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Judging by your weapons, you look like a force to be reckoned with. Since you reached Corporal, I'm sure others look up to you. What do you look for in a combative Recruit and Private? Fun questions and compliment for you. 22:49:29 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord offers the woman another warm smile, "Firstly, thank you for that compliment.  Secondly, I look for someone who has the will to serve the alliance in whatever capacity, I came on as someone with only a rudimentary knowledge of the blade, learned from » 22:49:29 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord » my father.  In my time here I've honed my skills to make them more valuable to the remgiment.  I'd hope to some day help to guide young privates and recruits to be their best as well, even though we are all constantly striving to learn, are we not?" 22:51:12 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord 's eyes sparkled with that true admiration. "Gods, I wish I was more like you. I'm pathetic with weapons, but I want to get better!" She wrote in her journal, drawing a little smiley face beside Dym's quote. "You seem quick to pick up on talent. Do you 22:51:12 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord say that the Stromegarde Militia you're working with here fit that bill?" 22:54:33 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord smiles as she looks about. "Each regiment has their own strengths and weaknesses, do they not? That is why we all work together to form a cohesive unit.  The men and women here are quite battle hearty and ready to do what is needed to help these lands, » 22:54:33 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord » I look forward to fighting side by side with them, light-forbid, should the need arise" 22:56:08 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: If they are so talented and battle hardened, then why is it nessecary for the Alliance to help them fend off animal attacks, when they were the primary force in defeating the Horde on these lands. Orcs and Tauren fight a lot harder than a few critters. 22:56:20 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: lands?* ) 22:58:30 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord chuckles slightly, "Have you seen the size of those spiders out there Ms Runewhisper? True, one can be handled by a few soldiers, but, 4 or five of them? They are as big as an Elek, Or the Raptors. Something in the water here in Arathi do you think?" 23:00:19 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: The spiders are huge, but the Arathi Militia took down balistic weapons with vigor and strength. Are you saying that the men and women stationed here suddenly cannot handle a spider that goes down like a knife through hot butter? They are insects still, 23:00:19 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: and canons are much harder to cut. 23:01:21 [Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord]: Why no, I did not say that you did, Ms Runewhisper 23:01:39 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So you agree that they are a force to be reckoned with, still? 23:02:21 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: The militia, I mean. 23:03:49 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord gives her a noncommital shrug.  "Yes, I understand your question.  I've no doubt in their abilities, but, if we were asked to come and assist, I would be remiss in my duty to the alliance to not render any aid, even if it is just a body to assist"  she » 23:03:50 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord » smiled. 23:04:07 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Mhm. 23:04:08 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Do you think that the true reason is because of the rumours going around that Sylvannas Loyalists are still messing around with necromancy and finding new undead? 23:04:38 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord blinked slightly, "I've heard no such rumors..." 23:05:45 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Contradictory to what lower ranked individuals said. I do hope Corporals pay attention in the infantry more than they have shown. That is all, Mrs. Hempstead. 23:06:12 Dymphnà-WyrmrestAccord nods, "Have a good evening, Ms Runewhisper"

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23:07:55 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Hello! What is your full name and rank, Miss? 23:08:24 [Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord]: "Private Knickerbocker Glory. A pleasure to meet you." 23:09:07 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: The pleasure is all mine! A Private, hm? How long have you served? And, is this your first time serving in a military based sense? 23:09:51 Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord smiles. "I have only been with the 47th for a few weeks, and this is my first deployment. I haven't served in an official capacity before." 23:10:35 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: How is military life treating you thus far? Do you enjoy serving with the comrades you have--just a yes or no, of course. I don't want you calling out names rudely before the Marshal. 23:11:30 [Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord]: "Our unit is rigorous, certainly, but I have enjoyed my time with my fellow servicemembers." 23:12:45 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Now that you are in Stromgarde, I'm sure you've noticed the militia serving these lands; the men and women dressed in the red and white regalia? Has the regiment been getting along with another fighting force that you've noticed? 23:13:52 Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord nods. "Yes, we have been cohabitating without incident. We all tend to keep to our own." 23:14:36 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: That's impressive to hear. It's always nice knowing our serving men and women focus on their tasks, and not in-fighting. I'm sure that will quell a lot of public unrest, for sure. 23:15:03 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Do you think the Stromgarde Militia are a force to be reckoned with? Considering they were the main force that won the Arathi War? 23:16:18 [Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord]: "I have not... been on this planet long, to comment on anything from a previous war. I can only attest to what I have seen of them myself. They look very prepared and take their training seriously." 23:16:58 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, because they take that training serious, you trust them to hold their own, correct? The 47th doesn't have to worry too much about defending them? 23:18:17 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord whispered quickly to Lebryn, before going back to focusing on Knick. 23:19:40 Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord smiles. "I believe that if the chain of command decided it was prudent to dispatch us here, then it was a decision made for a reason. We are here to support the locals, and I trust what my superiors decide." 23:21:38 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord nodded, still smiling brightly. "Since you did admit to the serious and trained militia in my previous question, do you believe the rumour is true that the extra forces are needed because of Sylvannas Loyalists being spotted close up north?" 23:23:52 Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord squints slightly. "I hadn't heard of such a rumour. Our deployment here is to assist the militia with their investigations of aggresive wildlife." 23:24:09 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So you do know why you are here. Interesting. 23:25:20 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So after Stromgarde Militia took down Horde forces, which certainly happened while you were on this planet as it was half a a year ago, they cannot handle agressive wildlife without Stormwind aid? 23:25:31 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: a year* ) 23:25:48 [Lebryn-WyrmrestAccord]: A reminder, Ms. Runewhisper, we don't simply represent Stormwind. We represent all of the Alliance. 23:26:27 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Right! The Alliance. I get that mixed since Stormwind is like, the central hub since the Grand Leader is the human king. 23:27:09 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, they need aid from the ENTIRE Alliance. Even larger. 23:27:35 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Regardless, Miss. Glory. The question remains mostly unchanged. 23:28:09 Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord can't help but glance at Lebryn. "I cannot speak for why the decision was made. Again, I trust that the chain of command makes informed decision, and I am

happy to be here to support the locals." 23:28:47 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Thank you for your time, Miss Glort. 23:28:50 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Glory* ) 23:29:37 Knickerbockr-WyrmrestAccord bows her head. "Happy to help, ma'am."

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23:43:53 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Hello! What is your full name and rank, Miss? 23:44:55 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord beams cheerily at the stranger. Her demeanour warm and welcome she addressed the woman with a smile. "I am Master Sergeant Keladry Brightmaul, of the 47th's attached Medical Corps. A pleasure to meet you." 23:45:57 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: The pleasure is all mine, Miss Brightmaul! Another medic, hm? How long have you been enlisted? Were you always a medic or did you train within the ranks? 23:48:55 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Here, let's step back a bit. I feel uncomfortable overhearing a Recruit being coached; don't wanna be that kind of civilian. 23:49:04 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord nods, "I have been training for years. When I was much younger, I was assigned to the 57th Stormwind Regiment, under the fallen Lord Hammerfall, to initially begin squirehood. He recognized that my talent lay not in the combat arts, but in the restorative 23:49:04 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord ones, and set me on the surgical path. I would say I spent.. 6 or so years with them, in army camps and field hospitals, or in the Stormwind Hospital learning directly from the doctors there, before making my way towards this unit. I spent a year as the 23:49:04 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord head of hospital surgical team, administrative team, before I joined up with the 47th just under a year ago." 23:50:38 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: You did ALL that! Jeez, not to be rude, but how old are you? You look so young. and yet so talented already! 23:51:25 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord grins, "Not young, nor old. I am now 24 years old. I began my squirehood around the time I turned 15." 23:52:21 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Colour me impressed! People like you inspire me. Women who can kick ass are my weakness--in an innocent way! I meant, I look up to them without hesitation. 23:52:38 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: And, kicking ass on saving people is still kicking ass! 23:52:51 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord smiled brightly, warmth radiating off of her along with genuine excitement. 23:53:22 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord smiles knowingly, "I consider it my duty. There are too many in this world who walk in need of aid. Who am I to not give back what I can?" 23:54:01 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Such wise words. The public needs to hear that our heros are doing what a lot of us do not have the courage to do. 23:55:22 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Since you're a Sergeant, it's more accurate to say you know more about the Stormgarde Militia that patrol these lands. Is it easy to work with them? Or, do two military forces tend to bump heads? Like an....what's it called...alpha wolf and alpha wolf 23:55:22 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: going at it? 23:57:53 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord cants her head curiously. "It is common for two different organizations to work in tandem with one another. Quite often it is to the betterment of troops under each individual banner, and to the peoples of the afflicted area. I would not call it alpha 23:57:53 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord wolf versus alpha wolf, but compare it more to hand in hand. An organization can only get so much done with what it has. When another organization steps in to aid, it is to bolster and amplify what organization has, or has done for the region." 23:58:49 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Good! Again, rumours about the aggressive behaviour of the Alliance forces should be put to rest from such reasonable lips. 23:59:43 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Do you find the Stromgarde Militia a force to be reckoned with? Considering they were the main force behind winning the Arathi War? Is it almost an honour being able to work alongside them? 00:00:35 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Is it an honour being able to work alongside them?** )) 00:02:50 [Keledry-WyrmrestAccord]: "It is an honour to work alongside any organisation truly. Being a medic, you become embedded in a unit. You get to know the faces you fight beside, you pull back from the brink. You see them at their very best, and their very worst days. And to be able 00:02:50 [Keledry-WyrmrestAccord]: to shoulder that vulnerability for even the shortest times, to allow those soldiers to rest, recuperate and return to battle with their strength returned.. Yes, I consider that a deep honour indeed. The Stromgarde Militia are an exemplary unit to be 00:02:50 [Keledry-WyrmrestAccord]: working alongside. They are as hardworking now as they have been throughout their time here. Their efforts will not, and cannot go unnoticed by any of the people here." 00:03:53 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: You have such wonderous things to say about them! Honestly, I wouldn't leave these lands to more capable hands from what you've told me! 00:04:53 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: You trust them to defend this place, even when the Alliance eventually departs? 00:05:24 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Considering your praise for their ability. 00:09:08 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord nods, "I do. I place my trust wholeheartedly in their hands. They have been an exemplary pinnacle of stability for the region following the signing of the armistice. Their leadership has faced a challenge in remaining embedded in the Stronghold. I cannot 00:09:08 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord imagine the challenge in surpassing the difficult times, but they have managed it. Not only have they managed it, but their personnel have remained just as dedicated and determined as when they first arrived here. And that, to me, seeing their 00:09:08 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord determination and pride, tells me that their leadership is committed to their cause, and will fight to keep the peace and stability here as long as they can." 00:11:11 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, why does the Alliance even need to be here in the first place now? If they can defend themselves--and be a pivital part of winning the War in Arathi against the /Horde/--why would they need help defending against mere animal attacks? 00:11:42 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Cause the wildlife will still be here when you leave. 00:13:05 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Are you suggesting that the Stromgarde Militia is fabricating their strength if they need help against spiders but not Orcs? 00:14:14 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Or, is the real reason the Alliance sent an entire regiment of five-thousand people because of the rumours of Sylvanas Loyalists being spotted and playing with necromancy again? 00:15:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord nods, "That is an excellent question. To explain, when a military goes into an area for an active campaign for a long period of time, and then that campaign ends and the troops return to their homelands, there is an unfortunate consequence to the 00:15:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord disruption of order in the region. A power vacuum of sorts. Leaving troops here does not mean that there's an offensive campaign. For these lands especially, the presence here provides a feeling of security for those whose homes and lives have been 00:15:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord disrupted. For me personally, part of my goal in these northlands is to assist rebuilding. Rebuilding infrastructure. Assisting refugees with finding living, or bringing a measure of healthcare to them. Promoting the rebirth of those that have lost their 00:15:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord homes, and the lives they had beforehand." 00:17:39 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So you're saying, the military came here...destroyed the place in War...then came back to fix things? Despite the 'animal attacks' reasoning I have been told by your Privates? 00:20:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord smiled

warmly at the woman, "The army way of life includes a measure of emergency response. Actively rebuilding infrastructure, and promoting the well being of refugees in destabilized regions are two duties that are often overlooked." She listened to the 00:20:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord question curiously, nodding as she answered, "This place, these lands, these are ancestral homes to many people. Dwarven, human, elven. It is a place that many would love to see rebuilt. As to the animal attacks, there have been a bite or two that have 00:20:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord come through my medical bay, but nothing I would consider enough to raise eyebrows over. The kinds of wounds one might see on a hunt, or an accidental encounter." She kept the warm smile up, even as she started to feel an inkling of nervousness at the 00:20:32 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord invasive questions. 00:23:08 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: To quote you, you say that despite the main reason for establishing a force here was for animal attacks, you say that in truth, there is nothing to warrant a raise of a brow. Interesting. Thank you for your time. Miss. Brightmaul. 00:23:50 Keledry-WyrmrestAccord dips her head, returning the gesture with thanks of her own. "Thank you for taking the time to come to our camp tonight," she answered.

----------------------------------

00:26:12 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Hello! What is your full name, sir? 00:26:30 [Farnal-WyrmrestAccord]: Master Sergeant Tobias Farnal, madam. 00:26:57 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Farnal. I am Celeste Runewhisper. I don't think you were here when the Marshal introduced me. 00:27:35 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord shakes his head.  "I was not," he says.  "I was assisting in administering a leadership course to a prospective sergeant, Ms. Runewhisper.  It is nice to meet you." 00:28:40 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: How long have you been been serving the miltary? Is this your first time in Arathi? 00:29:22 [Farnal-WyrmrestAccord]: I've been serving the military since my enlistment in March of this year.  And yes, this is my first time in Arathi. 00:29:48 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Mine as well! 00:30:01 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: It's a little colder than I imagined. 00:30:48 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: How has military life been serving you, Mr. Farnal? Master Sergeant is quite the feat! 00:30:59 Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord complimented with a warm, genuine smile. 00:31:33 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord nods.  "It's the sea air," he says.  "Acts as a heat sink.  I imagine it's less cold than most places in the winter.  And military life has been very good--and I'm honored to have been promoted to this rank, though I just received it last Saturday." 00:32:14 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Congratulations are in order then! I'm sure the Alliance military is honoured to have you as a junior officer. 00:32:49 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord smiles a bit.  "For that you'd have to ask my superiors, Ms. Runewhisper.  I can only speak for myself." 00:33:37 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Of course! A humble soul, I can appreciate that. 00:34:14 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord smiles again, that little soft smile of his, but he doesn't add anything to that. 00:34:24 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Since you've seen a lot, and clearly know what you want your soldiers to demonstrate on the battlefield. Does the Stromgarde Militia make it easy to work with them? Do they show themselves as realiable soldiers? 00:36:53 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord pauses to think on that for a moment.  "Well," he says. "I'm one of the regimental mages, and I've spent most of my time here in the mage tower and not liaising with local militia, so I'm perhaps not the best source to speak on that.  However, I can » 00:36:53 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord » say definitively that I see them drilling constantly in front of the enlisted quarters and the stables, and that always speaks well to a military force." 00:38:30 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Regardless of your specific talents, it is true to say that they are trusted to fight with switfness and practice? When the Alliance eventually departs, do you trust them to hold their own? Especially considering you've seen them train so diligently. 00:42:32 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord thinks on that, and his mind takes on that blank, concentration look he gets in the heat of combat or solving a really hard problem. "That's an interesting question," he says.  "The fact is, we're here.  At least, we're based out of here.  Our primary » 00:42:32 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord » mission involves the surrounding area.  We'll leave when that mission is complete, at which point by definition we will trust them to hold their own.  So when you think about it--the answer is yes, but the question itself posits a condition--our » 00:42:32 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord » leaving--that really implies the answer to the question, doesn't it?" 00:43:33 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Yes, it does! The animal attacks are what you're referring to right, Mr. Farnal? 00:44:03 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord shoots a quick glance to the mage tower.  "Yes," he says in a flat and not-quite believable voice.  "Of course." 00:45:17 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, considering you spoke praise of these Militia soldiers, say how hard they trained, and you say you trust them with their fighting and defensive prowess. They were a pivatal force against the Horde, but then there is concerns for wildlife attacks. Even 00:45:17 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: when the Alliance leaves, the wildlife will still be here. 00:45:37 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: pivotal** ) 00:45:46 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: And, they were** )) 00:46:12 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: So, they can't handle animal attacks, but you also trust them to hold their own without the Alliance? 00:46:14 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: Interesting. 00:46:43 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: What do you have to say about the rumour of the real reason being here is regarding Sylvannas Loyalists being spotted up here; practicing raising more undead. 00:46:46 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: ?* 00:50:43 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord thinks on this.  "I believe if you listened closely to me, that was not what I said.  What I said--and what you asked--was whether I trusted them to hold their own -when- we left.  And given that our leaving means we're no longer needed, then by » 00:50:43 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord » definition -at that point in time- I will trust them to hold their own, because that's the only reason we'd leave."  He pauses, then begins on her second question.  "I think the real reason we're here is that there's been a number of attacks on » 00:50:43 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord » small villages.  An increase--so, more than the normal.  And we're here to stop them.  If it's wildlife, then that's what we'll stop. If it's something else, then -that's- what we'll stop.  My job isn't to speculate, Ms. Runewhisper--that's for the » 00:50:44 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord » officers.  My job is to execute my orders, which means leading my platoon against the forces that are threatening good people out here trying to make a start to their lives--I've no evidence that it's the Banshee, but if it is, then that's who we'll » 00:50:44 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord » fight." 00:54:01 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: If it is animal attacks, I certainly hope that the Alliance doesn't try to wipe out all the wildlife like they reported did on Kingsland. Since, wildlife will always be here, and judging by the answers of your Privates, there will be a time you depart. 00:54:01 [Runewhíísper-WyrmrestAccord]: When? Of course, I can't expect you to know. Thank you for your time, Mr. Farnal. 00:55:41 Farnal-WyrmrestAccord nods.  "As to Kingsland, I'll refer you to the officers for complete descriptions of that.  As to the rest, I don't believe we've any intent other than the protection of villagers.  You are very welcome, Ms. Runewhisper."

[feywildatheart]

Maliah,

I've heard some tell of your exploits, it’s true, but tales are often best from their source, and I would be very glad to hear your version of all these strange events. And now that I’m so up to date on the happenings of Rugira Prime, I’ll be curious to hear how your questing goes.

Your last question is the easiest to answer first: I have only brief acquaintance with the honorable and noble lady Snapdragon, but can provide you an avenue of contact. The best and most secure address I have for you is here: [Snapdragon’s  semi-public LICD contact information]. “The Most Honorable and Noble Lady Snapdragon, Mother of All,” her proper title, is the caretaker of all children in the Court of Flowers, a well-respected and well-connected organization of courtesans. The lady Snapdragon, of House Tulip, was formerly The Verbena, preeminent of House Verbena of The Twelve Flowers, the highest circle of position in the Court, before she retired and passed along the name and title.

If it’s discretion and security you seek, you’ll find it with her. I don’t think you’ll require elaborate metaphor or flowery language, for what it’s worth. Grace is mostly a matter of courtesy and respect, after all. But given all the politics, you might want to be a bit circumspect – if it’s a matter that requires more explicit discussion, she’ll certainly have a way to have that discussion securely.

As for self defense, here’s something to get you started. You grew up in the wild and you’ve hunted, which is a good place to think of, if you’re in those positions. Take a minute and think about how creatures move when trying to defend themselves from others. Identify your strengths – you’re an archer, you have strong arms, and you’re quick and nimble. You don’t have the endurance or sheer physicality of some people, so focus your efforts on breaking free and away. Alert your allies if you can.

You may have the instinct to freeze, practice pushing past it, the way you push past your reservations to strike in battle. Apologies can come after: safety comes first. Your goal is to create distance between yourself and the threat. If you can curl into yourself to give yourself space to move, unbalance, or strike, do so. Keep your elbows low and close to your body. Your arms are some of your best defenses. If you’re restrained, twist into the grip to break away, or bring your arms up under the restraint and force them apart (imagine throwing open a pair of doors, the movement is analogous) to throw off arms wrapped around you. If a weapon is involved, neutralize it – knock it away with the flat of your arm or a more protected part of your body, and if you cannot do that, minimize the vulnerability of the target. Trust me, a gouge in your cheek or losing an eye is no fun, but it’s better than a slit throat.

 If you have space to strike, use the heel of your hand, pushing up from your feet as you hit, for better force and distance. Aim for the sternum, the stomach, the groin, the chin, the neck. Bite, if you must, use your nails. Ground your feet the way you do to draw your bow, center your weight, and you can better deflect what might be used to put you off balance. Keep yourself tight and guarded, and there’s less for them to work with. Even against someone with training in close quarters, these techniques give them less opportunity to use that training against you.

You’re lucky in that you have a fierce defender. Buy Squirt time to help you. He’s large enough to rush even a larger attacker and knock them away from you. He can blink into a small space between your legs and your assailant’s, and buy you space to move away and gain ground. He’s also lucky in that he can get out as quickly, so don’t stay close to defend him.

I’ve attached some videos and diagrams for you to look at. Unfortunately, I can’t help you from this far away as I might if you were closer. But if you have the chance, speak to Tace. Many of the defenses she uses are ones that will be helpful to you, and I trust her.

I hope this helps you some, but please feel free to write to me or to Kian if you have questions or concerns. Or just to stay in touch.

I’ll certainly pass on your messages and well wishes as I can. As for Kian, he sends his best and affection in return, and has added some of his excellent wisdom to what I had to say above. He also says my words are very terse, and there’s nothing wrong with stepping aside for a moment to remind your body it isn’t just a weapon. A deep breath, a few moments to stretch out and consciously relax all the wary muscles, can make it easier to practice these things. He’s probably right, as he often is.

Things on Mir are quiet as they ever are. Don’t assume the hot gossip need only go one way, I’m certainly happy to catch you up on the local events. Adilet sends his regard and his contact information, [ICID information redacted].

Take care, Maliah, and give your giant dog a hug.

Fondly,

Athan

[recentanimenews]

THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Has Come To An End!

  Welcome back to the final edition of THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH. I'm your host this week, Daniel Dockery, and after 200+ of episodes of high stakes ninja battles, low stakes ninja filler, and medium stakes ninja fart jokes, we've come to the end of Naruto. Every week since the beginning of the year, we've watched seven episodes of the show and every week, we've come together to discuss our feelings on them. Whether we were basking in the wonderful glow of Rock Lee or begging to be done with another filler escort mission, we did it together. We're like a family that gathers on a weekly holiday to complain about Sasuke. That's truly a family that we should all aspire to have.

    But it is now over, which means that it's time for reflection. It's time to look at the series as a whole and see what we liked most, what we got out of the whole experience, and what we want in the future. If this was a movie, "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)" by Green Day would be playing as the school year ends. We'd all give each other hugs and cry a little bit and then Joe Luster (played by Miles Teller, probably) would say something like "Same time next week?" and we'd chuckle, because it's only kind of a joke. We'll be starting a few new series soon before we jump into Shippuden, and you'll just have to wait to find out what they are.

We're gonna START this week with the HIGHS and LOWS from the last few episodes:

Joseph: The high point for me was seeing this series of corny battles wrap up and finally, FINALLY send us packing toward Shippuden. The low point was... I just can't believe this filler story was the finale.

  Kara: The high was the very end... seeing how far Naruto and everyone else have come both in their own skills and their estimations of each other. I think I mentioned before, but it's wild to realize we've gone from "tie Naruto to a post and make him skip lunch because he failed that hard" to his peers talking completely unsarcastically about trying to measure up to him. Low point was the fact that I couldn't focus when I realized this series was going out on a story where Naruto tries to teach Japanese Merlin the power of friendship or whatever.

  Kevin: High - I actually kind of liked the last scene or two, where everyone realizes that Naruto's about to leave with Jiraiya, and Naruto stops for a ramen lunch with Iruka before heading out. It's a nice bit of counterpoint to the beginning of the series, showing how Naruto's succeeded in getting people to recognize and accept him.

Low - Gaara's basically out of chakra to the point that the enemy doesn't think he can even fight. Clearly that means he has just enough power left for three major attacks, the likes of which we've either never seen or would almost certainly exhaust him if he were at full strength. I guess this arc really is taking ideas from Shippuden, because willpower is apparently more of a factor in battle than actual physical limitations.

Dishonorable mention - Admittedly, I don't think anyone ever explicitly stated how Gaara's sand works, but I was always under the impression that Shukaku was in control, or at least powering it, rather that Gaara using his own chakra. Also, when I heard that the armor absorbed chakra, my first thought was that Lee was a great match, because Taijutsu doesn't use chakra. I guess I was wrong. Either that, or the people writing this last arc were making some assumptions about how Naruto works.

  Carolyn: I would have to agree; watching everyone actually care about Naruto leaving was very sweet. He's spent so much time caring for his friends and feeling like an outcast and now he's found a family. That's a definite high point. My low point would be the fact that the final episodes weren't really about Naruto at all. They were about Gaara. Which, while I like Gaara, seems like a weird choice.

  Jared: That last bit with Naruto leaving was real good. Seeing how everyone was reacting to him heading off with Jiraiya, although it's kind of funny that Jiraiya gives him the whole spiel about training and it takes him 80+ episodes for him to actually do it. There was also a small scene where I liked how Neji was basically trying to wingman for Hinata by having them stop training so she could see Naruto off. Low point would be just how bland the final villains were for this last arc.

    Noelle: I'm with everyone else, Naruto leaving was definitely my high point. After all, this is his home, and he's leaving all he's familiar with in a bet to possibly get stronger. It isn't just hollow either, because he has people who will miss him and come see him off. It's very touching, especially considering how Naruto has always been framed as being alone. Low point... this last arc felt so dull? Surprising, considering I adore Gaara but I really wasn't feeling it.

  Paul: My high point is the realization that Sakura's Medical Ninja training consists of using her Chakra to revive progressively larger and more expensive fish. My low point is related: Sakura and Ino have now both been relegated into roles as healers. I think Kara previously brought this up many, many episodes ago: that sort of power, while crucial, is a fundamentally reactive power rather than a pro-active power. I worry that going into Shippuden, the girls will still be playing second fiddle to the boys.

  Danni: The high point for me was the final few scenes. Seeing Naruto say his goodbyes to the Leaf Village while everyone else vows to get stronger as well got me real excited for the impending timeskip. I really can't wait to see how much they've grown when Shippuden begins. The low point for me was how underwhelming the villains turned out to be. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish this arc had been longer so there could be more time to flesh out the Artisan Village and the Four Celestials. The inexplicably magical Voltron armor gets an honorary mention.

  David: My low point is similar to last week: despite liking everyone involved in this arc, all the best parts mostly felt like the show nudging my shoulder and asking if I remember this cool stuff from forever ago. High point seems to be echoing most everyone else: finally saying goodbye before we come back to see how everyone has changed.

Welp, that's it, y'all. How are you feeling? Relieved that it's over? Ready for a break? Eager for Shippuden? Frantically writing Sasuke fan fiction?

Joseph: I'm somewhere in the middle. I'd say I'm eager for a little bit of a break, but I also desperately want to wash this taste out of my mouth with some sweet, sweet, main storyline action in Shippuden. I wanna watch Naruto get good again!

  Kara: It's about the same for me. As excited as I am about Shippuden, that was a lot of filler and I need a few minutes.

  Kevin: Honestly, I'm ready to go to start Shippuden. Throughout this rewatch, I kept remembering just how much changes between the two series. Naruto starts with actual ninja techniques and ends up with Naruto being accepted by the other genin and a selection of higher ups. Shippuden starts with Naruto trying to save a world leader, and (without spoiling too much) ends with fights to save the planet and a war that takes over 200 episodes.

  Carolyn: I'm very happy to have a break in between Naruto episodes.

    Jared: It's going to be real weird not having Naruto in my weekly schedule, but I think a break is going to be good. I'm pretty excited to get back to non-filler writing though.

  Noelle: I have been in filler jail for so long, I'll take that break.

Paul: I'm ready to move on to Shippuden, and I've even added it to my queue. When I was in college, among my social circle, Naruto was held in low regard. People treated it as a series for babies, and being a Naruto fan was synonymous with having questionable (or at least very "basic") taste. I never thought I'd pick it up so many years later, or that I'd enjoy it as much as I have.

Danni: I'm not gonna lie, as soon as I finished episode 220, I considered secretly starting Shippuden right away anyway. It's been the light at the end of the filler tunnel for me for so long that I'm actually bummed I can't dive right into it just yet. I just bought my first Naruto t-shirt from the Crunchyroll Store, and now I have to wait to break it in until [redacted].

David: Despite the last few months of disappointing filler, the actual show up until the retrieval arc turned out to be some of the most fun I've had watching anime every week, so count me in with those who kind of wish we were just going straight into Shippuden.

  What is one character that you desperately wish had been given more to do?

Joseph: I would have liked more Kakashi in these filler storylines. The fact that it was a shocker when he occasionally showed up speaks volumes. Instead it felt like we were getting the same or very similar teams on each mission.

  Kara: Hinata. She got to do some awesome stuff, granted, but I'm so tired of her one line being "Naruto-kun..." I mean I know how they end up, and it's kind of a gateway spoiler for even knowing what Boruto is about. But considering her capabilities, it's a little annoying to see her constantly fall into the role of Girl Who Likes Naruto instead of that being, you know, just one of her things. Because it's okay to have a crush on a boy. It's okay to have an embarrassing crush on a boy. It happens. But I'd love that to be an aspect instead of a good chunk of her identity.

  Kevin: Tenten, absolutely. She's a bit of an obvious choice, since most people know the joke about how little screen time she gets, but her abilities are legitimately interesting and could be extremely versatile, she's just not given any time to show off her prowess.

  Carolyn: S A K U R A

  Jared: Basically any of the girls. I don't know if the last bit with Ino was an actual tie-in to what happens in Shippuden, but to have her just do the same thing as Sakura really feels like a "hey we have no clue what to do with you" type moment.

    Noelle: We all know that Kishimoto is really not good at writing women, but it just stands out so, so much with Sakura. She has a couple of moments and that's it, versus Naruto and Sasuke who are consistent all throughout. Give her something to do, it's not that hard. Please.

Paul: My first instinct is to say Kakashi, but I'll echo the others and say Sakura, and I'll add a little Hinata into the mix. I'd like to see them given a chance to shine, too. Sakura and Hinata have had a few iconic moments, but not to the same degree as Neji, Choji, and Kiba, who not only got dramatic death scenes but also got to survive their heroic sacrifices by pure plot fiat.

Danni: As much as I missed Kakashi in all this filler, I'm gonna have to go with Sakura as well. Despite being one of the three main characters, she's done next to nothing at all. Her main roles have been victim and healer, which are some really disappointing tropes to fall into when writing a female character.

David: It feels weird to say this since everyone including me loves him, but Rock Lee actually? After his big moment he gets relegated to a hospital bed with no discernible improvements made until suddenly he's ok now, I guess. I wish that were handled a little more gracefully.

Have any favorite moments from the series? Favorite fight scenes? Favorite quotes? What sticks out to you as the curtain (momentarily) closes on Naruto and His Amazing Friends?

Joseph: I miss the tournament arcs during exams. Those were really fun, and it was always exciting to see who would emerge victorious and how the animators would handle it. For sheer animated splendor, though, I have to go with the battles during the whole attack on Konohagakure village.

  Kara: As messed up as their individual stories can be (especially Jiraiya), I really love the older generation. I like the feeling - not just the feeling, the fact - that the story didn't just magically begin with Naruto, and that there are several levels of information we're still unpacking. My favorite moments tended to touch on those multigenerational elements in some way.

  Kevin: If I had to pick a single high point in the series, something that would be an exemplar of how good Naruto can be when it isn't bogged down by endless filler, I would probably go with Naruto's Rasengan training into the Kabuto fight. It shows off Naruto's dedication, ingenuity, and willingness to put himself in harm's way in a fight to save those he cares about, and also opens up the world more by revealing some of the history of the Leaf. It's not quite as emotional as some of the character deaths, like Zabuza and Haku or the Third Hokage, but it showcases some of the best aspects of the show in quick succession.

  Carolyn: I think I'll always be partial to Rock Lee training outside the hospital. He's such a good boy.

  Jared: I came into this knowing relatively little about the series and leave knowing that Rock Lee is the best boy. That fight against Gaara is just something else, even if that was one of things things I actually knew coming in. When this show is good, it's amazing, which is kinda hard to remember when you're locked in filler jail.

  Noelle: I think overall, my impressions stayed fairly consistent from when I first watched it to now. I think I definitely enjoyed the Chunin arc more, since I thought it dragged when I was young, and I really appreciate Rock Lee. I can't believe I used to think Rock Lee was annoying, this kid rules.

  Paul: My favorite moment is still the scene where, while training with Sakura and Sasuke under Kakashi, Naruto gets caught in a rope trap, escapes from it, then immediately gets caught in another rope trap. Another scene that really stuck with me was when Naruto and Sasuke teamed up against Zabuza and together they hide Naruto (disguised as a shuriken) in the shadow of another shuriken. Finally, a phrase that stuck with me is: "A ninja is one who endures." That phrase is the thesis statement for what defines heroes and villains in the world of Naruto.

      Danni: The battle between Naruto and Sasuke in the Final Valley, for sure. Their relationship is the backbone of the entire show in my opinion, and that fight was an incredible turning point and moment of understanding between them. It also just looked really freaking cool.

  David: The scene where Sakura tries one last time to stop Sasuke from leaving. It's sort of understated but there is a lot of emotional complexity going on there, down to her 'confession' hail mary that is completely ineffective. The show isn't usually great at writing women, or even emotions in general that aren't loud and clear, but that's definitely a place it got things right and sticks out to me even now.

I want you to sum up your experience with Naruto in three words.

Joseph: Always Craving Ramen.

  Kara: My Queen Tsunade.

  Kevin: Ninja wizard president.

  Carolyn: I like Naruto?

  Jared: So much ramen.

  Noelle: Power of friendship.

Paul: Not Kid's Stuff.

Danni: Only just beginning.

David: Please less filler.

    What advice would you give to someone that hasn't watched Naruto but plans to try?

    Joseph: Don't be stubborn. Listen to what longtime fans say about the filler and don't bother with it. Don't feel the need to absorb every bad episode and just follow the main story through both this and Shippuden. Failing that, read the manga.

  Kara: I know the main advice is "seriously, skip the filler," but my friend circles are made up of a lot of completionists and telling them to skip it would just make them watch it harder. So whatever. Honestly, even without the filler, Naruto has highs and lows. So I guess I'd say don't expect all 220 episodes to be fried gold, but enjoy it as a chill watch and just appreciate when those really solid stories come along.

  Kevin: If they already want to start, my advice would be to binge the first season to get to the Zabuza arc. The earliest stuff is important, but not necessarily the most interesting. If I need to show them something to convince them to watch, then I'd probably recommend the Chunin Exams. Some of the details might be confusing, but it's some of the best self-contained storytelling in the show.

My general advice is honestly to go back and keep pace with the Rewatch if you want to watch the entire show. There are over 200 episodes, around half being filler, so you're not going to watch the entire show over a weekend. The Rewatch keeps a brisk pace that gets through all of the less interesting bits without going so quickly that you accidentally skip the emotional resonance of the better arcs. If they just want to watch those better arcs and skip the likes of Filler Jail, then watch from around the Genin Exam or Land of Waves arc to episode 130 or so (it'll be obvious when the filler starts).

  Carolyn: Yeah, skip the filler. Watch until Sasuke leaves and call it a day.

  Jared: You don't have to watch all of the filler. There's certainly a few arcs that if you wanted to check out as a buffer for Shippuden that would be fine, but going through it all isn't necessary. Although if you're liking things and get to the filler and want to keep going, who am I to stop you? I'm not your dad.

  Noelle: It's a lot less compact compared to more modern shonen, but it's still got plenty of substance. Naruto, at the end of the day, is a good kid that's worth rooting for. Also, skip the filler, you won't miss anything.

  Paul: When you're going through Filler Hell, keep going. A ninja is one who endures.

  Danni: Just skip the filler. I'm saying this as someone who endured all of Dragon Ball without giving in to everyone telling me to skip certain batches of episodes. Skip the filler.

  David: Don't watch too much at once! This show doesn't exactly have a reputation for solid emotional or thematic setpieces but I think that's because there is so much content people lose the details, so watch a little at a time and let it sit with you.

    And before we depart from our journey, we have a question from a reader:

  "What were some of your favorite Opening and Ending Theme Songs (or intros and outros, respectively)? Are there any bands/groups/artists you are now a fan of, but weren't previously, because their work was featured in Naruto?"

Kara: "GO!!!" by FLOW is absolutely my favorite opening. I envy everyone who gets to see them live at Crunchyroll Expo this year!  As for endings, "Yellow Moon" by Akeboshi really hits me. I also liked "Wind," but this is the one that sent me looking for more music by him. "Parade" by CHABA is a close second, but that's mostly because it sounds like it's by The Killers.

  Joe: I'm gonna go classic with Far Away as my favorite OP, and Wind as my favorite ED.

  Noelle: Far Away is probably my top fave op because of how absolutely rad it is, but I'll be lying if GO!!! isn't the first thing I think of when I think of Naruto openings (fighting dreamers!). I'm also feeling Wind for my favorite ed, because it's very touching, but it's also so radically different compared to the rest of the endings? A top fave.

  Jared: "GO!!!" and "Wind" are definitely top tier when it comes to openings and endings. I also actually went and purchased "Far Away" and "Pinocchio" so those would be up there too.

  Kevin: Interesting that someone asked this actually. Since we're nearing Shippuden, I've been occasionally listening to all of the Shippuden themes together, and it is quite an experience to go through 500 episodes of content in a half an hour via song.

  To the actual question, for openings my favorites are probable Far Away and GO!!!. Between the two, I'd probably have to go with Far Away as my favorite, because while I didn't know the artist when I first heard the song as a kid, it technically introduced me to Asian Kung-Fu Generation, and I don't think I've heard a song of theirs yet that I don't like.

  For endings, to be honest I had to go back and relisten to literally all of the Naruto endings, because I seriously don't remember any of them. As a result, I guess the first ending, Wind, wins by default since it is the only one that I've actively sought out and listened to outside of the show. That being said, I actually found that I liked Mountain-A-Go Go-Two and Speed much more than I thought I would.

  David: I really couldn't believe how good Wind is as it had somehow left my mind but now it's my favorite ED in original Naruto by far. GO!! is unsurprisingly my choice for OP both because it is very good and how much it represents the feeling of watching Naruto in general.

  COUNTERS:

Week Ramen: 2 bowls Hokage: 0 Clones: 0

Total Ramen: 210 bowls, 20 cups Hokage: 62 Clones: 940

And that's all for the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH. Once again, thank you for joining us and we hope you'll accompany our merry team on our next adventure!

CATCH UP ON THE REWATCH!

Episodes 211-217: Nearing The Finish Line

Episodes 204-210: Escort Mission Time

Episodes 197-203: Solving a Mystery

Episodes 190-196: Matchmaking Gone Wrong

Episodes 183-189: No Laughter Allowed!

Episodes 176-182: Reach for the Stars!

Episodes 169-175: Anko’s Backstory At Sea

Episodes 162-168: The Tale of the Phantom Samurai

Episodes 155-161: Quickfire Curry

Episodes 148-154: The Forest is Abuzz With Ninjas

Episodes 141-147: Mizuki Strikes Back!

Episodes 134-140: The Climactic Clash

Episodes 127-133: Naruto vs Sasuke

Episodes 120-126: The Sand Siblings Return

Episodes 113-119: Operation Rescue Sasuke

Episodes 106-112: Sasuke Goes Rogue

Episodes 99-105: Trouble in the Land of Tea

Episodes 92-98: Clash of the Sannin

Episodes 85-91: A Life-Changing Decision

Episodes 78-84: The Fall of a Legend

Episodes 71-77: Sands of Sorrow

Episodes 64-70: Crashing the Chunin Exam

Episodes 57-63: Family Feud

Episodes 50-56: Rock Lee Rally

Episodes 43-49: The Gate

Episodes 36-42: Through the Woods

Episodes 29-35: Sakura Unleashed

Episodes 22-28: Chunin Exams Kickoff

Episodes 15-21: Leaving the Land of Waves

Episodes 8-14: Beginners' Battle

Episodes 1-7: I'm Gonna Be the Hokage!

Have anything to say about our thoughts on Episodes 218-220? Let us know in the comments! 

------------------------

Daniel Dockery is a writer and editor for Crunchyroll. You should follow him on Twitter!

    Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[storiesbyaya]

Story of A Hero- 23

{First}{Previous}{Mobile}{Next} Jazz was sitting on Will and the twins’ table monday at Lunch. She held a mysterious cardboard box on her lap and, for a moment, Will was confused…

Until he saw the familiar green lightning bolt logo. Instead of confused, he became excited, and nearly bounded over to the box. Jazz grinned at him, but continued to hold it close even as he approached. “So… Weird thing, but my sister came outta her room this morning. She gave me this. Made me promise not to let anyone but you touch what’s in it. And then, she ate breakfast with me and walked me to the bus. I don’t know what this thing is, and I don’t care. But I know you did something, and because of it, I got to see my sister, and hear her laugh and stuff. So whatever this is? You take good care of it.” She spoke with a serious tone, yet also seemed happy. Will was happy for her.

He nodded. “I know you said you don’t care to know, but… that box likely has my parents’ research,” he explained. “Oh,” Jazz said, understanding blooming on her face. She gave him a cheerful smile. “Explains why it’s so important… And why she’d only trust you with it.” Even though she didn’t know Will, as far as Jazz was aware. He held the box with the same care she had. “She trusted you with it, too. I think that’s a good thing?” “I think so too.” Their conversation ended when Percy and Lily arrived. She rejoined her table, and they ate together. It was hard to concentrate through the rest of the day, with the anticipation and fear all welling up at once. What could it contain?

-x-x-x

The box contained an external harddrive, as well as a note, written in green glitter pen. William decided to start with that first.

“Fun fact,” it read “A friend of mine has ‘Anaesthesia Awareness’. Waking up during the herein described procedures caused damage to his Adex. (Read up on subject KX-023) This break is what allowed us to break free.

I believe in you, William.  Let the mistakes of our past become the tools to build a better future.

Tessa Nickols (xxx-xxx-xxxx. Let me know if you need any more help. Give my number to Kat too. I miss that brat.)

PS- For privacy reasons, many names and faces have been redacted. Hope you understand.

PPS- Hard drive password is your sister’s middle name.”

Diana. The password was Diana. William wondered if that was done by Tessa or by his parents, but he only wondered briefly.

The amount of stuff here was… Intimidating. He didn’t even know where to start. He had to take a deep breath and center himself to even try to tackle this. Maybe… weed out the unnecessary stuff? Grant applications. Letters to investors. A bunch of other money related things. That was irrelevant to his studies. It went into a special folder. Just in case. Facility descriptions… As the document began with nothing but maps of the facility, William was going to ignore it, until he noticed that there were several pages. The building only had four floors, if he remembered correctly. There should only be four pages, if it was nothing but maps.

“As this is a foreign field of research, much of our equipment has required upgrades, and some custom equipment has been needed to advance our research.”

The section below the maps continued on, describing what kind of upgrades and changes had been made to existing equipment. It was all incredibly fascinating to William, but one very specific section caught his attention.

It described, in great detail, a special instrument created to measure and observe resonance.

“Tests have revealed that Adex exude a special energy. It has been named “resonance” due to the way it reacts within human subjects. With this, resonance can be observed and measured. This advance has increased the success rate of forced symbiosis to 98.7% Forcing symbiosis with two subjects who’s resonances do not match almost always results in MEIR-Type entities, and/or loss of one or both subjects. Forcing symbiosis with a subject that exudes no resonance at all results in failure 100% of the time.”

“So resonance has… types. And this thing they made shows them in different colors,” he said to himself, and scribbled this fact into a notebook. To his surprise, Imshael hopped onto his desk. “Hello,” they greeted, before curling into a ball near the keyboard. “I want to help.” “You… want to… help?” William repeated, confused. The words themselves were not confusing, but rather the ‘who’ they were spoken by. Even after the first time he’d heard Imshael during training, they’d still stayed so quiet Will almost forgot they COULD speak. “Well, yes. Bayesh and I feel I may have answers to questions you might have. I am, after all, an Adex. You’d assume I would know a few things about myself.” “I think assuming that would be kind of silly. Humans have to learn about their bodies, I’m sure you guys do, too. But...unlike us, there is no school for adex.” “True,” they said, swishing their tail to and fro, “But you learn things with age. Like the fact that resonance’s color matches the color of the adex itself. The color of the thing within you. It also tends to dictate what kind of abilities we will grant. I’ve come to notice white adex mean white light, for instance.” William scribbled that down, and gave her a few small pets as thanks.

Then, he continued to read.

None of it was nearly as interesting as the resonance testing equipment, and most of it made him grumble in disgust. The schematics for Meir containment cells. The dampeners that kept the ‘subjects’ from using their powers. All kinds of resonance sapping weaponry.

“Oh. Hey, maybe that could be useful for… I don’t know, fighting bad guys?” Harley suggested. For a moment, William considered keeping the documents and then sending them to Angel. She’d know what to do with them, and how to make them into weapons that could be used to fight metahumans and meirs without the need for HeroNet. But William turned to Tessa’s letter once more, and sighed. “We promised we’d never let anyone else see this research, Harley. I’m not going to betray Tess’ trust…” William reminded her. Harley looked down, and would probably frown if her muzzle would allow. “Oh. My apologies. Shall I leave?” Imshael asked. William looked down to them, then back to the screen, and then to Harley. “Immy’s technically not another person… They’re an Adex.” While true, William gave a sigh. Technicalities didn’t sit well with him. But he had Tessa’s number, so he decided to ask her.

[Will] Hi Tessa, this is William Kray. We received the hard drive safely, but my father’s Adex wants to help. You said not to let anyone else see what’s on this drive.

[Peony] Oh! A wild Will! Right down to business, I see. Call me Peony, kay? Wow. She answered pretty fast. But Jazz did say that she never left her room, so she likely always had her phone.

[Peony] Would Kat trust this Adex? Knowing who your parents are, I would say there’s no one more trustworthy. But ultimately, I kept this stuff safe FOR your sister.

[Will] Right. Thank you, Peony.

Kat… She wouldn’t be angry if William let Imshael see the data. But she WOULD be angry if it was used to hurt anyone. So, ultimately, Wiliam chose to put a pin in it and continue to read.

He moved on to the folder that contained actual test results.

“KY subjects?” William read out loud. There were twenty entries, but no indication what the KY stood for. William had to examine them, and after a few, he noticed the pattern.

“These are… Older than me. The subjects were all adults… This must be the initial testing for forced symbiosis… Look, this person is deceased,” he pointed out. The other four sets of eyes looked to where he was pointing.

“Of course. Adults can’t fuse with us. The necessary changes can not be done to an already fully formed body. That it took them twenty people to notice,” Imshael grumbled. “Well… I guess… The good news is that they only resorted to using children because nothing else would work… Granted they could have just… Not continued their research on forced fusion.” “Not every question needs to be answered,” Harley agreed. “Like… I don’t actually want to know how many bugs I can fit in my mouth?” While Imshael and Harley continued to list off examples of things they did not need to know the answer to, William skimmed through the rest of the KY files, but they were ultimately more of the same.

He moved on to the KX subjects. Those he knew. “Kx-01 subject. 12 year old female. Volunteer, informed consent (See risk waiver) blah blah…” William read out loud, frowning. “This girl became their first Meir… But they ‘learned a great deal about Meirs, how to contain them, and how to destroy them’ thanks to her… I… Don’t…” William had to step away for a moment. Destroy. They meant kill. Murder. End a life, maybe even two. He couldn’t bear to read about the tests they did on the meir. He closed the file and moved on. More Meirs. More deaths. Some children saved at the cost of their Adex being destroyed. Few successes, until... “This one’s different. KX-14,” Will eventually said, his brow relaxing from the ever deepening frown he’d had previously. “Different how?” Imshael asked. “Successful symbiosis with ANB72… Result, the ability to mimic the abilities of other Adex. KX14’s ability has allowed us to predict the type of abilities an adex will have-”...Basically, this says she’s the reason we know Adex colors correspond to what kind of power they’ll give. She also… ‘claims to see a faint colorful glow’ coming from the Adex.’... She could… See resonance?” Though Harley was wagging her tail enthusiastically,  Imshael showed no sign of interest. Their tail just… swished lazily. “Immy, there’s people who can see Resonance! Isn’t that cool?” he asked, putting his hands near them, but they didn’t move. “I suppose?” they said. William frowned. “You knew already.” “Yes. Sorry. I see you’re excited. I do not mean to detract from your excitement.” Imshael’s apathy aside, William continued, noticing that there was a small note at the end of kx-14’s file. They weren’t the only person to see Resonance, but it took until subject 19 to realize that this phenomena was a real thing and not a stress induced hallucination or something of the sort. From there, there was a lot more successes. 22, however, was an outlier.

Succesful at first, the stress and isolation turned them into a Meir. “Dr. Evergarden decided to use the Meir to test out the powers of successful subjects, beginning project Nightmeir.” It linked to the project, but this William refused to click. He continued.

Kx-023. William picked up Peony’s note and looked again. She’s mentioned this subject, told him to look.

“Subject awoke during procedure. Panic caused a small scuffle until he could be sedated again. No lives lost, but Adex suffered damage. See Incident reports.” And dated later, a note had been added stating :”Subject releases small amounts of Resonance even with Dampeners. Without dampeners, subject can not control his ability and destroys anything he touches. (Re: Request- Wall repair in B2-B wing,)” And a little later still, “Subject experiences blackening of veins in hands (What??) Sent to medical examination immediately, but no medical reasons have been found. He is perfectly healthy. Maybe this is caused by the Adex damage? Continue monitoring.”

William looked back to the floor plan, on an inkling that this wall that needed repairs might be one that resulted in the collapse.

Unfortunately, he realized that he was not an architect and couldn’t really figure it out, so he returned to his reading.

There were few deviations. Meirs, successes… He could tell that it was around there that they’d managed to get the Resonance measuring machine working. Hell, even the number of consenting subjects rose the closer he got to his sister’s number.

There wasn’t much to learn, but he did notice a naming pattern for the Adex, and understood they were named by their color. From there, he compiled a list of Adex colors and their abilities… But there was one strange code he didn’t understand. Some adex codes started with an “A”, but they were few. 14, 24,72…

Wait.

72? 72 was…

Kat!

[vicicicici-blog1]

alright back on this shit

____________________________________________________ 20xx/06/14

I can't do it.

I've tried to call the police over the past few days, and every time I find myself shrinking away from the phone.

I don't know why, I've never felt like this before.

For now, I've made a decision. I'm in a good spot right now, since I've joined the club. I'm going to keep surveying the place, and see what I can do to raise my rank. in the meantime, I'm going to keep making these notes as evidence, and when Alex gets home, I'm going to show him what I've found.

Alex, when you read this: I know people are dying. I know it's silly to get worried about a police call like this. I'm sorry for all of that.

But for now, I think this is the best I can do.

The next meeting is tomorrow.

_____________________________________________________ 20xx/06/15

I'm back from the meeting. It's a little easier to explain what happened this time.

From what I can tell, people don't necessarily go to every single meeting, as there were fewer people there this time. I'm also not sure if, maybe, some of them might've been different people. After all, everyone was wearing those masks.

Today, for the meeting, it was a broadcast from another branch  - 02NS, I think it said. It turns out the floor of the arena also operates as a screen for everyone to watch. How much money has gone into this?

Over the broadcast was another member of the club, wearing a beaver mask, and another woman, wearing a red fox mask, and carrying a gun. She was setting up a drone of some kind, and in barely a minute she'd swapped the perspective over to the drone. In the new image, I could see a black van, and now, the noises of screaming and crying, coming from a separate recording. Everyone in the room began screaming wildly, as the announcer came back on.

"Good afternoon everyone! Today, 02NS Blue Beaver has worked hard with her dear sister 02NS Red Fox, notable sharpshoot [NAME REDACTED] in order to bring us a wonderful hunt!"

From the screen, popped up a few images, all of boys of varying ages, though my best guess is that they were mostly around high school age.

"Start making your bets for parts! After all, [NAME REDACTED] is gonna need to know where to avoid aiming!"

Parts.

It doesn't take a genius to know what that means.

Everyone around me was screaming prices at the top of their lungs, even [NAME REDACTED], and the women in bird masks began typing everything being yelled out. [NAME REDACTED] pointed at one boy, bone thin with curly blonde hair, begging for even just a slice from his neck.

I have no clue what anyone could even want with a neck, let alone a slice of one.

After a few minutes, the announcer came back on, quieting everyone.

"Alright, the top bets have come in! Miss [NAME REDACTED] is all set to go! Now, it's time for the fun! Three... two... one! NOW!"

The back door of the van opened up, and the five or so boys in the pictures were pushed out, all of them either terrified to the point of tears or looking away, quietly but desperately. The second they saw the girl with the gun, they all bolted into the woods. The announcer called it a ten second head start.

Then, the drone flew up high in the air, giving us a shot of the area, a wooded area where it was almost impossible to see where they were going. It was also completely caged in.

Once ten seconds had passed, Red Fox sprinted off, going in the direction of one guy, whose photos and size clearly painted him as a football player of great skill. The drone, seemingly knowing where they all were, zeroed in on him, as he'd already managed to make it close to the gated end from the direction he ran. When he made it to the clearing, he seemed to realize that too - with a better look from his perspective, the gate was imposing, made of barbed wire, and standing roughly fifteen feet in the air. The bar at the top glowed hot red.

Even so, the young man grabbed onto the fence, and started climbing. The barbs already began digging in his hands, leaving his hands a sticky, bloody mess as he kept going. When he finally got to the top bar, he made a quick grab for it, only to recoil in pain, as smoke came off of it, and fell back down to the ground.

"OOOOH! You'd think it was obvious that the bar was burning hot, huh? Sorry for all those muscular hand lovers out there, hoping to take a nice set home!”

I heard a small, disappointed sigh from close by. I'm really glad the mask covered my face, because the face I made would've outed my sickened expression to everyone there immediately.

He rolled over, grasping at his hand, when out of the bushes, Red Fox had come out, gun aimed. He looked up at her, and before he had time to even realize it, she shot him three times in the back. His body slumped over to the side, leaving his surprised face left turned on camera. Once again, the crowd went wild.

She reloaded her gun, and moved on to her next target, the drone zeroing in on the boy that [NAME REDACTED] aimed to get a slice of. He hadn't stopped crying since he ran off. It took her barely seconds before she caught up to him, shooting him square in the back with one shot. I'm not sure if he was even dead when she ran off for her next target.

One by one, she took them all down with ease. The longest one it took managed to figure out a place to hide that even the drone couldn't zero in on, but he ended up being found when he suddenly started choking up. I think he was having an asthma attack. She shot him in the neck. The other two besides that were shot in the side and the head respectively. If any bodies are found grouped together with missing parts and bullet wounds in those specific places, here is your case story.

This time, I stayed for a little longer, looking around at the stuff inside. Those casino-like machines I was looking at before consisted of mostly computers, giving access to videos of past murders and an online shop, and then some actual casino games, which many of the members were lined up to play. After a while I didn't wan't to be there any more, so I left. As sickening as it is, I'm going to try and go back again next week, and this time I'll make sure the hidden mic works.

I also just realized I forgot to take a closer look at the benefits package. Between work and the stress of this investigation, I just left it be. I'm too tired right now, I'll look at it tomorrow. _____________________________________ 20xx/06/16

I took a look in the benefits package today.

It wasn't anything special on the outside, just a thin black fabric bag, adorned with a zipper and a white rabbit on the side. I wasn't expecting too much out of it.

On the inside, it was mostly booklets, as well as a small black box, labelled "LEVEL 1 SURPRISE GIFT". First, it would be best to go over the booklets first.

The first, and largest booklet went over the club activities, what's available from the club, the club's public website (which I am surprised exists) and, most importantly, the ranking system.

It's based on purchases. Every little thing purchased from either the website or at the club directly is directly funneled into your overall rank, allowing access to more things such as a free vpn, free at-home access to the video collection archived at the site, special purchase items, the list goes on.

I checked the site, which requires the branch name, number, and mask type in order to enter the site. I'm only Level 1, so I'm limited to the purchase of innocuous items, like gardening tools and decorative knives. I think when I go to work, I'll leave my login information somewhere for my coworker to find, maybe disguise it as something left behind by a customer. At the very least, I can tip someone off to this that way, instead of trying and failing to call the police.

The next booklet was some sort of showcase for some of their notable contracted killers and corporations. It's pretty shocking to go through, some of these people are legitimately famous, like [LOL I HAD TO GET RID OF THIS HUGE AMOUNT OF INFO SHE LISTED. IM HONESTLY SURPRISED BY SOME OF THIS STUFF TOO A LOT OF THEM ARE PREETY WELL KNOWN FOR DOING GOOD SHIT SUCKS YOU CANT READ THEM BUT AT LEAST YOU GET ONE] the only company that I didn't recognize came at the very end of the book, a company called "FDN". They apparently provide their test subjects for a variety of shows and productions, particularly for this club. The booklet provides no help in explaining what their name might stand for, and the only thing that pops up when I look it up is stuff about the stock market.

The other booklets included just have stuff about methods of death, little magazine-style tests for finding out your preferred death styles, and ideal choices of item brands to use for the express purpose of death. I mostly skimmed through these.

Finally, there was the box. I wanted to save it for last, just in case it was actually a bomb, or a severed finger, or something. It was explained, in the first booklet, that new members get a commemorative item at random, be it something useful for inflicting really small acts of harm, like a tiny decorated knife or a vial of nonlethal poison, or souvenir things like a necklace with a bead filled with a previous victim's blood, or knife tip that broke while stabbing someone. It didn’t say anything about actual body parts or bombs, though it wouldn’t surprise me if it just didn’t need to.

I seemed to get something that was both a weapon and a commemorative item. Inside, wrapped in a neat circle and perched on a silk pillow like an expensive necklace, was maybe about about two feet of thin barbed wire, that looked sharp enough to prick someone's finger at even the softest touch. It was also partially covered in dried blood.

I want to throw it out, but it's important evidence. Alex, I'm putting it and everything else in the locker for safe keeping. ________________________________________________

dumbass bitch this is why your dead i bet

[junker-town]

WMU head coach applications ranged from a 149-page book to ‘will work for cheeseburgers’

Many people applied to the Western Michigan job. Some were coaches you’ve heard of. Others just wanted to have fun.

After P.J Fleck decided to row the boat to Minnesota, Western Michigan hired Tim Lester as its new head coach on January 13th.

But Lester wasn’t the only person interested in the job. To get a better idea who else was in the running, we filed an Open Records Request to Western Michigan for all resumes and supplemental documentation sent to the school in the eight days its job was open.

We got back hundreds of pages. Here are some of the fun things we learned.

The applicants included other names you’ve heard of.

Lots of coaches sent in resumes, references, plans and more. Some were high school coaches in the Midwest, head coaches at Division II or lower programs, or relatively anonymous position coaches.

But those names included Jeff Quinn, the former head coach at Buffalo and current strength coach at Notre Dame, and Al Borges, who has coached basically everywhere. Former Wolverine running back and current Jacksonville Jaguars running backs coach Tyrone Wheatley applied.

Some people applied, uh, on behalf of actual coaches.

Somebody sent in Sam Houston State head coach K.C. Keller’s Wikipedia page. We’re pretty sure it wasn’t Keller himself.

Others wrote in to suggest specific candidates, like former Syracuse head coach Scott Shafer, or former Michigan running back and current Syracuse running backs coach Mike Hart. Multiple (!) people wrote in to suggest former NFL head coach Jerry Glanville, who played football at a directional Michigan (Northern) once upon a time.

Coaches don’t just send in resumes. Sometimes they basically send along books.

When you apply for a regular job, you send a resume, a cover letter, and maybe another document or two. But some coaching candidates send exceptionally detailed plans for the football program, covering everything from day-to-day schedules to recruiting philosophy to program rules.

Former WMU defensive coordinator Ed Pinkham sent a 26-page plan, highlighting his ability to administer “tough love” to players and “refocus” Fleck on occasion, with .thoughts on who he’d hire as assistants.

Lester, the man who was actually hired, included a 38 page plan, covering discipline, football philosophy, and even this bit about having a Blue Collar Mentality:

We will be a team that enjoys working hard and is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Blue Collar people are not afraid to get dirty and muddy. Blue Collar people are reliable and resilient. Blue Collar people are accountable and consistent. We will be a Blue Collar team. in 2012, each of our players wore gas station attendant shirts to every game (an idea I took from Jim Harbaugh). We had dog tags with BCM on them. We asked what our players wanted on their conference championship rings, the answer was BCM. It is simple and explains how we play this great game.

Wheatley had by far the most comprehensive, including a 149-page document that touched on everything from how he would develop a strength and conditioning program, when he would recruit JUCO players, what phone calls he’d make in the first 30 days, and more. It’s a book.

Seriously.

Of course, that’s a far cry from the 300 page binder Al Golden used in his interview with Miami.

If you’d like to look through all the data yourself, you can. We’ve uploaded them here, here and here. Lester’s proposal is on pages 1-38 in section 1. The entire dang Wheatley book starts on page 49 in section 2, and continues into section 3.

And also, some people just wanted to have fun.

Below are my two favorite applications:

Hi there Kathy, in light of the recent move by PJ Fleck to leave Western to coach at Minnesota I would like to throw my hat in the ring for the current job opening at head coach. My football related accomplishments include being an all conference offensive tackle in high school, 3 fantasy football championships, a 12-3 record in Madden 15 online, and currently having 2nd place in the in-house rankings for Madden 15 between my four roommates. Hiring me would definitely be a gamble. I’ve been known to be a bit of a wild card but weren’t all the greats? God knows Woody Hayes was as unstable as a North Korean Nuke but I am very flexible, I’m not sure what the market salary is for a 19 year old head coach with almost no experience but I’m willing to settle for 1,300 dollars and a cheeseburger but that’s my absolute minimum. I truly believe I have what it takes to lead WMU to the playoffs and to a national title.

Just think of all the assistants you could hire if you’re only spending, oh, $1,309 on a head coach.

And our final one, I must begrudgingly admit, does make a good point about Woody Hayes.

Ms. Beauregard,

I’m reaching out to you on this fine January afternoon with a proposition so bold, it is guaranteed to knock your socks RIGHT off. Any potential candidates you have been giving consideration to fill the vacant head coach position is surely wrong, because I am the lone wolf that you want and need for the job, unless of course you have already been considering me.

With the departure of former head coach of football, Phillip Fleck, WMU is facing a serious blow. I can imagine that filling such a void is something that you and the university would like to handle delicately to maintain it’s ELITE integrity.

Now I’m sure you’re wondering about the couple things at this point, so let me just break it all down for you.

There is nobody else in this world that you are going to find who is more committed to excellence than me. If you don’t believe me just from reading this email, then rest assured that in 2015 I once waited outside of a Metro Detroit shoe retailer for two whole hours for a new pair of Yeezy sneakers. While I never actually got the shoes because they sold out after those two hours and I got in line considerably later than most people, the naysayers couldn’t keep me from the challenge. Believe me, I have tons of stories like this too, the commitment doesn’t stop at shoe trends.

But, REDACTED, how is this going to translate to results on the field?

Simple, I never give up and neither are the boys every night when they step on the field when the find out about how seriously I take my commitments.

My first order of business once you make the wide decision of hiring me, getting on the phone with ‘Bama and giving the students what they want by scheduling the first ever match-up with the Crimson Tide. A move as bold as this is going to bring in at least $1,000,000 from boosters in the first thirty minutes after the news breaks, guaranteed. The good news doesn’t stop there either, after i get off the phone with Saban, my next call is going right to the gophers for a prime time game where the world gets to see the boys in brown and gold make Minnesota look like a ragtag junior varsity football program from Cuba. Now, as you can imagine, I have my hands full with plenty of offers around the nation to mold the biggest and the best sports programs that you’ve ever seen. I even have a pending offer with my nephew’s house hockey team. So I’m sure you can imagine this offer for me expertise won’t exactly been on the table for much longer than a couple days.

Signed,

REDACTED

A proud ‘16 Bronco Alum

You heard the man. Western Michigan wants Bama.