#I’ve had crushes on coworkers before at my last job

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Okay I’m feeling emotional af lately (gay, I know) so if this post offends, it’s not meant to but fuck does having a crush as a gay suck infinitely more than if I were straight. Like no hate to straight men, crushes suck in general, but when you throw in being gay into the mix it’s so much worse.

Because like look, if a dude likes a girl, the worst case scenario is she isn’t interested, right? Sucks, but whatever. Maybe there’s another man, maybe she’s happy being single, who knows and who cares. There’s plenty of other women out there for you to go for next. And if god forbid she’s not interested AND a lesbian, well like who cares, right? That’s almost actually a relief for you because it means you never stood a chance, no man does.

But when a gay likes a dude…well see now your odds of success are lower and not only that but your odds of not only being crushed but DESTROYED are higher too. Best case? Similar to a lesbian woman, he’s straight and therefor not into you. Sucks, but thus is life, and the majority of dudes are like that so we just have to learn to live with it unfortunately. But the absolutely worst possible scenario? I’m talking 9/11-levels of absolute emotional destruction? Is if the dude is GAY and still isn’t into you. That shit makes you feel like you’ve won the lottery before shortly being isekai’d to hell via Truck-kun. Because on the surface you’re like “Holy shit, I did it! I found another gay man! I actually had a crush on a gay man this time and didn’t waste my time on a straight man I could never have!” And then the truck hits you going 80mph when you find out that he’s still not into you because shit, that means it’s really you he’s not into.

Anyways, day #19,003,234,348 of wishing I was straight. Tired of having to run the emotional calculus day-by-day to determine if a man is gay and into me, and constantly second-guessing whether I even WANT to know the answers to either of those questions because knowing will sever the blissful thread of ignorance that I’ve been barely hanging on by.

[nanivinsmoke]

Hello nani!! I just wanted to say I just read your all of me logan x reader and I love it! Was wondering If you could do logan x reader smut with the song ride by somo (been having it in my head for a while) but if you can't that's fine keep up the awesome work love!!

Ride .

✩ logan ‘wolverine’ howlett x mutant!femreader

♪my body on your body baby, stickin like some glue…♪

✩ you usually don’t sleep with your coworkers, but during this mission….the tension between you two becomes unbearable.

✩ tags: nasty, slutty sex, sex in a car, riding, oral sex, creampie, rough fucking, everything is slutty when it comes to him, jealous logan, you are a teacher at the Xavier school for the gifted, added some plot too, you can control any form of matter, liquid is your fave tho…

✩ note: hello! thanks for the req, anon this song choice 🙂‍↕️ I’ve got freaky followers! also had xmen/x2 wolverine in mind. song at the bottom of the page!

Charles left you in charge for today, something he does once every two months with his head teachers. He did it so you guys could gain experience and know how to take charge if something ever happened to him. It happens more frequently than you’d think.

Before you, it was Storm and she did an amazing job. Everyone loved her as the school’s professor, there were less accidents within the school and more mutants had come too. Unlike Scott, who was more brutal with his approach, leading to some students leaving the academy. Charles was upset and even though he didn’t show it, everyone knew it.

However, unlike those two, Logan was a little more reckless with his approach. There’s was fight breaking out almost everyday, but those same fights were mended that same day they happened. Plus, tons of students joined just because they heard THE Wolverine was there. He might’ve been a dick most of the time, however he had a heart.

And that’s why you decided to partner up with him for today’s mission. Well, that was partially true. In all honesty you had the biggest crush on him and you wanted to get the opportunity to be with him all day. Hoping to get the chance to jump his bones.

You entered the conference room with a smile, your chunky, patent leather boots echoing against the wooden floors; turning your coworkers attention over to you. Your hair flowed beautifully as you made your way in front of the round tables cleaning your throat while looking at their faces—your eyes lingering on Logan’s a little bit longer, before you spoke.

“Charles left me in charge for this month. For my very first day, i expect great results! In order for great results to happen, we have to put in the effort. I compared the results from the last couple of months. Logan and Storm, the two of you were outstanding. Quantity of students and Quality of missions were in our high range, however with you Scott……we were very low.” You turned your attention over to him, watching his body tense up and earning a chuckle from Logan.

You cleared your throat before continuing, “This isn’t to bash anyone, but to help us grow as a school and as teacher’s. These mutants come from all over to us because we understand them. They want to be comfortable and not reminded of their past lives. So, in order for this all to happen, im giving you all new partners.” There was some whispers as they turned to look at their current partners.

“Storm and Jean, you two are together. Hank and Nightcrawler, Scott and Colossus. Logan?” He pulled out his cigar and connect his eyes with yours.

“You’re with me.”

The two of you walked side to side as you approached the school’s parking lot passing the variety of cars, on the way to your own. “So, what’s this mission about?” He spoke from behind you, his eyes following your hips as you walked, trailing down to your ass and how heavy it looked in those black leather jean’s you were wearing.

“We’re looking for a mutant named Cupid and no he’s not the blonde bitch from Olympus.” You cursed, earning a chuckle from Logan.

Finally reaching your car, Logan was amazed at your taste. Your car was a matte black dodge charger, with lightly tinted windows and matching leather seats. He hopped in the passenger seat while you occupied the driver’s. “Tell me more about this love bastard,” now you were the one to chuckle. God was he hot.

“Cupid’s been causing a lot of issues in city, he currently resides in a small town and the mayor has asked for our help. His powers are based on two emotes everyone has. Love and Hate. He can control a person based on those emotions.” You pulled out of the lot, driving to your mission’s destination.

“Now, we can either do this Charle’s way or my way.” He turned to you, with an eyebrow raise, puffing on his cigar.

“And what way is that?”

“You’ll have to wait and see, baby~”

The car ride was quiet, besides your radio playing and the sound of his breathing while puffed on his cigar. However, Logan took glances at you from here and there. Watching how your eyes would gleam as the sun hit it, how you would bob head to the songs you liked, and those lips….god your lips looked heavenly. He could stare at those all day, wishing he could kiss them forever.

“Logan?” You called out and he snapped out of his days, looking around before looking back at you. “You okay? We’re here.” You raised an eyebrow and he nodded, the two of you stepping out of the car and approaching the apple green house.

You lead the way, while Logan watched your back. Those hazel eyes stuck on your derrière. “I don’t know exactly how he uses his powers, so just be on your game, Lo.” You turned your head slightly, giving him a small smile before turning around to knock on the white door. A few seconds after, a male appeared wearing a ruby red robe and blue boxer’s, pinching his nose as he sniffed.

You turned to look at your partner before back at the mutant. “Are you, Ezekiel?” You asked, a smile on your face while Logan wore his usual resting face. “Depends, are you the cops?” He asked, eyes falling from yours and onto Logan’s before going back to yours. You shook your head and smiled once more.

“Do you mind if we come in? We aren’t going to hurt you, we just wanna talk.” He said nothing, studying both of your faces before turning away; letting you both in. You followed after him, looking around his house—trying to understand him before speaking with him. Logan watched as the kid plopped on his messy couch, pulling out a small trinket and sniffing the contents. He let out an exasperated sigh and locked eyes with Logan.

“Want some?”

“I’m good, bub.” You finally joined them and sat down in the small chair across from him, Logan opting to stand besid you—cigar in the corner of his mouth.

“We’re from the Charles Xavier school for the gifted mutants. We heard about the little trouble you’ve been causing here.” He looked at you and relaxed on the couch, smirking.

“Trouble? I just help those that needed it, isn’t that what you do? I heard about this school….this Xavier guy seems like a quack. Not interested, but if you lose the top, I might be convinced.” You could sense Logan’s mood change and you held your hand out, letting him know that you had this. Guess it’s time to do it your way. Sorry Professor.

You slowly undid the buttons that held your black button up together, freeing some of your cleavage, making both Logan and Ezekiel look at you. You stared at him, smirk etching onto your face while you used your powers on the cocky mutant. He started to choke and gasp for air, causing Logan to look at him and then at you.

“Listen, do you want to die? These people are going to get fed up with you quite soon and when they do, they won’t stop until they hunt you down and have your dumb blonde head on a stick. But why wait for that when I can do it myself?” Your tone was cold and your eyes had darkened, scaring the mutant. His pale face was turning a shade of pink and Logan was getting worried.

“Princess….” He started off, but you held your hand out again. “What do ya say? Want me to kill you? Or will you let us help you and keep you safe?” You released the pressure on his throat, letting Ezekiel catch his breath. He nodded and let out a breathless okay, and you smiled; quickly buttoning your top back up before standing on your two feet.

“Good, see you at the school. Logan, give him the card.” You said leaving the two men in the house. Logan dropped the card onto the dark oak coffee table, before looking at the mutant.

“Dude, she’s crazy!”

“Tell me bout’ it,” He muttered on his way out.

You sat in the passenger seat while Logan drove, looking out the window, in complete silence. There was some obvious tension there and you were trying your best to find out why.

“Logan? Is there something wrong?” You turned and looked at him, eyes dancing across his face. He was silent and then he looked at you, his mouth painted with a scowl.

“Yeah there is.”

“What is it?” He said nothing and you continued to look at him, before he pulled the car over on the side of the road, putting it in park and turning it off—unbuckling his seat belt along with yours.

“Think that was okay? What you pulled back there? Showing him what’s mine?” Your eyes widened and you could feel a throbbing sensation below, you crossed your legs in your seat and kept your face unreadable. Seeing you show off your breasts to the mutant had Logan seething, those were for his eyes only. You were his.

“Did Cupid use his powers on you? You okay.—“ He cut you off and pulled you by your hair, forcing your face towards his and pressing his lips onto yours—which you happily accepted. His lips were so intoxicating and you couldn’t—didn’t want to pull yourself from them. Finally getting what you wanted and when he pulled away, spit trail following, you whimpered; eyes plagued with arousal.

“Logan…” you whispered and he chuckled. “I know princess, I can smell how much you want it.” He patted his lap and you practically hopped out of your seat and into his lap, reconnecting your lips while grinding against his bulge that pressed into your middle.

Both of your hands roamed each other’s bodies, kissing and licking on each other’s sensitive spots, the car steaming up from your actions. Soon, you couldn’t bear the teasing anymore and you slowly pulled your clothes off; your top along with your bra being flung into the passenger seat—while you continued to occupy his lap.

His large hands cupping your breasts, earning a soft moan from you, before he replaced his hands with his mouth; his warm tongue glued onto your sensitive nipples. You couldn’t help your moans, hands tugging on his hair, lower half grinding on his clothed cock.

“Please Lo….neeed you to fuck me,~” You begged, moaning when he put your nipple in between his teeth, teasing it lightly.

“Gotta taste you first. Get that pretty ass in the back, princess.” You happily hopped in your car’s back seat, tugging your jeans off your thighs while he climbed in the back right behind you, pulling the jeans completely off of you—putt them with the rest of your clothes.

He eyed your half naked body, licking his lips while he trailed down from your face to the wet spot that appeared on your dark grey panties. “So wet for me. Never give this pussy up, okay?” He spanked your clothed cunt, making you yelp out and nodded your head; bottom lip between your teeth—watching his every move.

He pulled off his leather jacket, and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down to his ankles; his muscles practically ripping through his beater. Both set of lips flushed with wetness, ready for what’s to come next and when he connected his mouth with your sopping wet cunt after tearing those panties off ya—your eyes immediately rolled back into your head.

Logan’s own eyes closing after tasting you, savoring how sweet you tasted. He had been thinking about this ever since he met you. He had fantasized about you every night, dreaming about you cumming all over his face. And now here he was, fulfilling his wish.

His tongue lapped up your juices like he was a dog drinking from his bowl, sucking on your throbbing clit; making you let out a series of moans—hands connecting with his hair again. “F-f-fuck….feels soo good, Lo’.” He hummed in response, lips still attached to your cunt while he added two fingers into the mix, pumping in and out of your wetness.

You were a babbling mess, moving your hips up and down; almsot riding his face—orgasm seconds away and you desperately needed to let go. “Gonna cum for me princess? Go ahead, cum all over my face. I need to taste how gushy this cunt can be.”

He was so nasty with his words, you couldn’t help but to let go; cumming all over his face and creaming on his fingers. Logan didn’t stop lapping up your juices or fucking your with his fingers, he kept going—wanting to drain all of you, until you had to beg him to stop. You pulled him up by his hair and smashed your plump lips on his, tasting yourself—moaning while he palmed your still throbbing cunt.

You pulled away and pulled his boxers down by the hem, freeing his cock; his eyes glued to yours as you immediately went to rubbing on his head. His translucent slick melting into your hands while you rubbed and jerked his mushroom tip. You watched his face contort with pleasure, his hips slowly pumping up into your fist.

“Stop teasing me, princess.” He let out a small whimper and you felt a heartbeat shoot through your core after hearing it. Logan watched as you spread your legs across his lap, squatting and angling his dick at your entrance—lowering yourself down and hissing from how he stretched you out. He was so big, pushing your walls past its normal limit. It had been a while, but none of them had ever reached his size.

“So big…” his hand fell on your hip, fingers grasping onto your ass, holding you when you finally lowered down onto him all the way.

“I know baby, but you can take it.” He slapped your ass making a slutty mewl leave your lips. You stayed like that for a moment, cunt clenching and unclenching around him before you started to bounce on him. You gasped as his tip practically kissed your cervix, his dick so deep inside of you.

But, as you continued to move, that threshold of pain vanished and was replaced with pleasure. You happily bounced on his dick, skin clapping with each move you made; his lips ghosting yours as your face was mere inches apart.

“Just like that, princess….shit,” You were so fucking tight and wet, cunt so slippery, creating a sheen of wetness on his cock. The mutant never had anything like this and he wasn’t going to give it up to anybody.

“Showing off those pretty titties to other men? Fuck, i could kill him. Want me to do that?” He grunted, pushing your hips down, making you take him even deeper. You shook your head and gripped onto his muscular shoulders, keeping steady as you bounced.

“N-no…I'm sorry, daddy! Fuck—you’re reaching so deep, Logan!” You were clinging to him so tightly, the man was losing it. He pushed you all the way down, big rough hands gripped your waist, while his tip was pressed right in your cervix—before he scooted halfway off the car seat and pushing your torso closer to his, proceeding to drill your cunt sloppy.

The loud squelching noise combined with your sweet noises was enough fuel for the wild mutant. Your ass jiggling with each movement, rocking the car as you bounced. You were close, so close now and he felt it. Felt how your walls were spasming around his girth and how louder your moans got when he hit that spot over and over. And he was right behind you too.

“Let it go, princess. Cum for daddy~” His voice was deep and sensual, adding to the intense pleasure you were receiving—making it easier for you to cum. You were seeing white as you came; nails digging into his shoulder blades while gushing all over his cock.

And as he continued to split your cunt in half, his own release came down hard and he was pumping milky white ropes inside of you. He growled in your ear, sending shivers down your back and straight to your cunt—earning a stream of clear arousal from it, drenching his cock and the seat beneath him. You had never squirted before and with Logan being the first, had you deeper in love than you were ever before. You were his for the taking.

After cleaning you up and helping you get dressed, Logan left you in the backseat of your car before starting the car up and continuing with the drive to the mansion. He kept his eyes on you in the rear view mirror, watching you as you slept; a smile etched on his face before he placed a cigar into his mouth.

He was in love and he was never going to lose you. You were his best rider after all.

[sugarypinecones]

Sleepover - Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader

a/n: first time writing on this acc!! this kind of came to me in a dream <3 sorry if it sucks btw i got kinda lazy towards the end!

warnings: age gap (mike is 25 reader is FRESHLY 18), smut, pervy!mike if you squint enough, overstim, p in v, fem receiving oral, size kink if u squint, innocent reader, mike terrorizes the poor teddy bear 😞, they’re coworkers & i tweaked the job info a little bit

⊹˚. ౨ৎ

It started innocently enough. You, needing a job, as you had just freshly turned 18 decided that the night shift would be the easiest route, since you could do your college classes online while working, since it’s not often there’s trouble involving a pizzeria.. or you’d hope, at least.

You weren’t aware it’d be an every-night thing, but you were aware you had a coworker which did ease your nerves. The minute you met him, he was instantly awkward around you, and in such a cute way that you had developed a crush almost immediately.

And, because you had been in such close proximity for two weeks straight, you two had clearly became friends as there’s nobody else to talk to, and your schoolwork gets done fast when you know once you’re done you can finally talk to him.

How the job worked, was that there were four nightguards, and you’d switch off every two weeks for a paid leave, which is what made the job initially seem so appealing to you.

And now it was your final night, and you’d be off for two weeks, which would seem exciting, but you weren’t. You’d grown so close with Mike over the last two weeks that, you simply couldn’t imagine being gone from him for two weeks. You weren’t sure if he even considered you a friend, but it didn’t hurt to try, right?

“Mike?” You spoke up from your chair, and he turned from his phone, looking at you as you softly smiled. “I’ve really enjoyed these past two weeks, you know..” You trail off, looking at him to see his reaction, making sure you weren’t ruining anything. “Me too. It’s nice not to be so alone,” He smiled, about to turn back to his phone but you begun to speak up, “So.. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come back to my house sometime within these two weeks we’re off?” You smiled hopefully, anxious.

He didn’t reply for a second, looking at you, his gaze locking into yours before he smiled, looking away. “Why not? I’ll just have to find a babysitter for Abby,” He smiled, and you almost let out a sigh because of how hard you held your breath. “Cool,” You smile, looking to the floor, “Just text me when you wanna come over.” You clarify, looking at your phone as he hums, letting you know he heard you.

⊹˚. ౨ৎ

Which leads him to knock on your doorstep, swallowing dryly as he looks around. It felt wrong to be here, seeing as the differences in ages, but it’s not like it was his idea - and you’re just so nice to him, so it’s not like he could decline it - that’d be rude! You come to the door, adorned with the skimpiest tank top he’d ever seen and shorts, Mike freezing in fear like if he moved you’d vanish. “Hey, Schmidt.” You smile, hugging him, causing him to thaw whatever that was and hug you back.

“Woah, it’s um..” He trails off, looking around your house. “Weirdly exactly how I imagined it.” He laughs, and you turn and tilt your head down, leading him to your room - in which he sat down on your bed, you laying down next to him and smiling. “So what do you wanna do?” You smile, and he knew if he told you the truth of everything he wanted to do to you, it could kill a pilgrim.

“Uh, I don’t know..” He trails off as you glance up at him, smiling softly. “Anything you wanna do, really.” He smiles back, and you quickly sit up. “Well,” You get close to his face, scrunching your nose. “We could watch a movie, or..” You trail off, beginning to think about it. “That’s fine by me, what do you wanna watch?” Mike smiled, and you shrug, “Why don’t you choose,” You return the smile, leaning over to grab the remote, in which he got a perfect glance of your ass, and as much as he wanted to respect you and look away - he couldn’t, and his eyes are directly glued to it before you look back at him, tossing him the remote.

He put on a random movie and leaned back next to you, and you subconsciously move closer, cuddling into his warm body. He didn’t know if you were trying to send him signals, or just genuinely trying to cuddle, innocently. You look up at him, smiling, and he really is torn between the two. He smiles down at you, and you glanced at his lips, suddenly feeling his breath against yours. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” He whispered, and you nodded, a hand in his hair as he kisses you, pulling him down further needy for more.

He laughed against your lips, and you get on top of him, subconsciously grinding against him as your lips press against eachothers, Mike pulling away momentarily as he grabs at your hips, looking you in the eye as you breathlessly stare at him, “What’s this feeling?” You whisper, genuinely confused and honestly, starstruck.

You had been very sheltered growing up, and had grown up quite religious - and as much as you tried to rebel from it, you were honestly a goody two shoes, until you turned eighteen. You immediately moved away and indulged yourself in everything you couldn’t when you were growing up under your parent’s roof. You knew what a crush was, and you certainly knew you got odd feelings sometimes, but you were sheltered, you didn’t know anything about stuff like that.

“Oh, baby,” He coos, moving you back next to him, “I forgot,” He whispered, brushing hair out of your face. You had told him about it once, while you were bored in the office together. He found it interesting, and offered to teach you if you were ever curious, (clearly trying to be slick about his moves, but you didn’t know that.) He smiled, kissing you. “You’re turned on.” He smiles, and you seem confused, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Do you want me to make it feel better?” He asked you, and you immediately nod, the heat between your legs unbearable as he sat next to you.

He smiles as he kisses you, his hands reaching down to your shorts. “Is this okay?” He whispered, looking up at you. You nod, biting your lip as his eyes lock on yours. “Words.” He clarified, and you exhaled breathlessly, “Please,” Looking down on him, and that was all he needed to pull down your shorts and underwear, resting at your knees as he grazes his fingers against your wet folds, smiling to himself as you whine lowly, pleasure taking over without his fingers even inside you yet.

Slowly, he inserted one finger, looking at you as you bite your lip, looking to the ceiling as he pumped it in and out of you, watching as you moan softly and grab at the bedsheets, Mike leaning you back against pillows as he works his way up to two fingers, your legs subconsciously closing as you approach your high fast, and he just uses his other hand to pry them open, grinding subconsciously himself against your bedsheet, finding pleasure just by pleasuring you.

You reach your high, crying out in pleasure and closing your legs as he smiles, putting his lips against yours before entering his fingers into your mouth, in which you suck, without even being asked to do so, your juices coating your mouth as he kissed you again, inserting his tongue into your mouth, tasting your juices too.

“Mike,” you whisper against his mouth as you part, and he opens his eyes, looking at you as you smile softly, “Thank you.” You smile, and he could fuck you right now, but he doesn’t because he knows how sensitive and unready you are, just smiles back, nodding. “I want to make you feel good.” You smiled, and his eyes widen. “Baby,” He started, a hand cupping your cheek, “You’re not ready yet,” He shook his head, and you bite your lip. “So teach me how.” You whisper, and Mike folded immediately, kissing you softly.

He lowers himself back down to your dripping pussy, smiling as he licks a stripe against it, you bucking your hips up due to both pleasure and sensitivity from your recent high. He begins to suck on your sensitive cunt, you crying out in pleasure as you grab onto his hair, causing Mike to go faster, grabbing at your thighs as he eats you out like he’s been starved for years.

It didn’t take you long to reach your second high, moaning loudly as you close your legs, trembling as he wiped his chin, looking up at you. “Mike,” You mumbled, and he shook his head. “Not yet, darling,” He coos again, crawling up next to you as he kisses your neck softly, “And frankly, I think you need a break.” He suggests, but you quickly shake your head, “No!” You almost shout, looking at him as he widened his eyes in shock. “Please.” You soften, and he can’t help but crumble to those eyes you’ve given him.

“Where’s your favorite teddy?” He smiled, and you looked around, grabbing the one above you. He sat it in-front of your dripping cunt, smiling. “If you can prove to me that you can ride this and reach your high without my help,” He smiled, “I’ll consider your request.” He kisses you, helping position you onto the bear. He knew he wouldn’t fuck you today, but he could at least help you a little bit more.

You slowly move yourself back and forth on it, your underwear at your ankles now as you rock against it, your juices soaking the poor bear as Mike pulls down his pants, taking out his cock and beginning to stroke it as he watched you pleasure yourself, moaning in unison with you as you put your hands infront of you, continuing to ride the teddybear as he sped up his process, coming closer to his high and pulling you and the bear closer, pumping himself faster as he finally came, his come leaking all over the bear as you rid yourself into it, and he couldn’t help himself from placing a kiss on your belly.

You slowed down, clearly reaching your high now too, and that’s when he took over, “Fuck it,” he mumbled under his breath, unable to hold himself back as he lifts you off the soaked bear, you letting out a soft moan as you’re pulled away from your high so abruptly, and laid on your back against more pillows, opening your eyes as Mike leaned down, placing a kiss against your lips before moving to your swollen pussy, placing another kiss against it as he pumped himself once more, aligning himself with your entrance.

And with that, he’s inside of you, and you moan out loudly as he sees the imprint in your stomach, holding back from going feral as he slowly fucks you, your walls clenching around him as you’re reaching that high you were denied just seconds ago, moaning out nonstop to a point where you put a hand over your mouth and close your eyes as your nails dig into his back, egging him on further.

He grabs your hand, removing it from your mouth as he smiled, “I wanna hear all those pretty noises,” He whispered breathlessly as he pins both wrists above your head now, sliding in and out of you with more speed as he whines, your legs closing around him as you came, but he continued to fuck you through it, biting your shirt and lifting it as he begins to suck on your boobs, you moaning in both pain and pleasure as he continued to fuck you.

Within seconds, he’s coming too - and collapsing next to you as he pulled you in on top of him, the once pristine silk bedsheets covered in both of your fluids now as he brings you in for a kiss, you hugging him as your entire lower body is still shaking.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

The Laws of Attraction (Lawyer!Higurnami x Law Student!Reader 18+ One Shot)

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black!Fem!Reader x Hiromi Higuruma

Synopsis: You are a law school senior and intern juggling schoolwork and your job who attends your firm’s anniversary party one night. While there, Higuruma Hiromi and Nanami Kento, your bosses and the two sexy attorneys you’re secretly attracted to, help you celebrate your final grades and receiving a brand new position at their firm….just not in the way that they should. But who cares about what’s right or wrong when it feels so good?

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Black-coded!Fem!Reader; Lawyers!Nanami x Higuruma; Law Student/Intern!Reader; Eye-Fucking; Secret Crush; Mutual Pining; Threesome; Coworkers to Lovers; Mild Power Play; Lowkey Flirting; Office Sex; CMNF; Dual Cunnilingus; Deepthroating; Doggystyle Over Desk; Spitroast; Facefucking; Dom/sub Undertones; Throatpie; Cum On Ass; Sneaky Sex; Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: I’ve had this idea rolling around in my head for DAYS now. I’m so happy I’m finally able to share it after finally writing it. I hope y’all enjoy! KISSES!! 💋💋 -Jazz

**********

You know that a second glass of champagne probably isn’t logical or practical.

But if you have to listen to your fellow intern and total preppy asshole drone on about his vacation stories, you’ll definitely blow your brains out.

You stand in a small circle with the other interns that started with you last year for the internship program. The firm has one that stretches all year long, starting in the spring and ending in the winter. You’ve known these people for months now and while you like some, there are others than you’d gladly avoid.

Like the preppy exchange student from Upstate New York who came to Japan to study abroad. Of course, he’s standing beside you in his Armani student, buzzed off of his second beer and oozing arrogance and ignorance. “My friends wanted to go to Bora Bora again, but I always found Bora Bora to be sooo overhyped,” he groans. “That’s why we went to Hawaii. It was cheaper.”

He takes a sip of his beer, dripping some down his tie. You don’t warn him. ”I heard Hawaiians didn’t want tourists anymore,” Yuki points out, standing next to you. “Something about them pushing natives out of their homes because of construction.”

She sips on her champagne and eyes you as she does it. You fight the urge to smile. “Well, that didn’t kick me out,” the exchange student chuckles. “I had a ball! Lotta beer on the beach and a lot of girls too.” He turns to you now, your worst fear coming true. “You ever been to Hawaii, Y/N?”

You force yourself to turn towards the young, blonde jock who only came to work here because his father has connections in the legal system as a hotshot judge in New York. As a young, Black woman, you worked your ass off to get into this program and into law school. As you can imagine, juggling both is a damn job in itself.

You purposely kept quiet for half of the night to avoid exerting energy in boring conversations, but to avoid dissociating for the fifth time tonight, you fix your mouth into a smile. “No, but I prefer Costa Rica. The water is prettier. Excuse me, I’m gonna fill myself up.”

Quickly, you excuse yourself from the group and walk over to the alcohol table located on the other side of the gorgeous ballroom. “Oh, pass me another beer if they got one,” the jock suggests. “We can share, if you want. I know you like a good beer too.” He gives you a lopsided smile that’s supposed to get you hot and bothered like it has to all of the other girls he’s screwed.

You stifle the urge to vomit and give him a tight lipped smile before quickly walking off…or as quickly as you can in your Jimmy Choo heels. Your friend and roommate forced you into them, telling you that only these shoes brought out your skin and meshed with your slim, strapless, black dress.

You will admit that you feel the sexiest you’ve ever felt in it. Even when you tried it on and had your friend tie the strings behind your neck to hold the slinky article of clothing up, you felt like the baddest bitch walking. As soon as you walked into the ballroom, you caught eyes….just not the eyes you truly want.

As you walk across the ballroom, nodding and smiling at guests (lawyers, politicians, city officials, etc.), you admire the beautiful decor of the room. The decorators rearranged cushioned furniture, added gorgeous white flowers as centerpieces, and polished the marbled floor so much that you can see yourself in it. The scent of cinnamon and cloves drift through the air along with the bitter winter breeze pouring in from outside as people come and go for cigarette breaks.

They truly went all out for this anniversary party.

Your firm is located on the sixth floor of a twelve-story building in downtown Tokyo, specifically in the business district. Every weekday you catch the train at 7AM with fellow bright-eyed, bushy-tailed workers in their uniforms and weary, hungover students preparing for an 8AM course. You’ve always loved the hustle and bustle of the city; the constant activity; the sense of determination and purpose in the air when you do your eight-minute route to the train station to work.

Maybe that’s why you decided to take the internship offer when you were picked last spring. You were a law student, a senior-to-be, in need of a legal position that would give you more experience and had a decent pay. Your job as a waitress could only do so much. After you were interviewed by the program director, she set you up for another interview with the attorney you would be working for. When you realized that you would be interviewed by two attorneys instead of one, you thought it was some kind of mistake.

But you were reassured by the director that Kento Nanami and Hiromi Higuruma, the top attorneys at their firm, wanted you specifically. “They picked you out from ten other candidates,” she gushed to you over the phone. “They’re so impressed with your resume and our interview notes.”

You smile to yourself as you take another glass of champagne. You can’t believe that this was twelve months ago. Now if you can only snag a full time position here and ace your final exams so you can graduate next spring, your life will be complete.

Yuki appears beside you, dressed in a red dress and wearing her blonde locks in waves. ”He likes you,” she giggles. You roll your eyes beneath your full lashes. “I could give less of a fuck,” you mutter. “I felt like shovin’ a cupcake in his mouth to shut him up.” Yuki laughs despite your deadass statement. “So where’s your date tonight?” she asks. “Since preppy white jocks don’t float your boat.”

No man floats your boat nowadays, it seems. Not when you’re in law school. What guy would want a girl who stresses over essays and exams every other week? “Well, my roomie has a cold and couldn’t come,” you explain. “I wanted to stay, but she forced me to put on this dress and come.”

“And it’s a damn good thing she did!” Yuki scoffs. “You look amazing!” You smile shyly, feeling your cheeks flush. “And I’d rather you be here celebrating the 10th year of the firm with me than at home. Intern or not, you’re a part of this team too, Y/N.”

Though Yuki’s words are sweet, you’d much rather be at home with your roommate watching Netflix in your sweatshirt and booty shorts, shoveling ice cream down your throat and maybe popping an edible to ignore the impending anxiety of your exam scores tonight.

Anything than being a room with a bunch of preppy folks and pretending to be interested in anything they have to say. But you got yourself into your pretty gown for two important reasons: one because this party is a good distraction from your incoming grades and two, you’re waiting for two guests in particular to show up. Your bosses…or as your friend would call them, your sexy lawyer baes, Nanami and Higuruma.

These are two names that pop up often at your firm and in the legal world. As two Harvard graduates and prominent lawyers in business and corporate law, they were among the original ten lawyers who started out at the firm when it was still very small and upcoming. Now expansive and holding over a hundred attorneys, Nanami and Higuruma are still the top in the game in their thirties.

They are intelligent. They are virtuous. They are calm, cool, and collected when needed in the court. And they are also fine. As. Fuck.

And you know all of this because you work underneath them and have been for over twelve months as an intern. You never knew why they hired you to personally work for them, but you jumped at the chance to take the offer when it was given to you after your one-on-two interview with them.

As unapproachable and cool they seem, the two lawyers are pretty lenient with you. They allow you to use their shared office to do your work, they work around your class schedule, and don’t make you work overtime. Most of your duties are fetching coffee for them in the mornings from the lobby cafe, editing and proofreading documents, delivering files to different departments, and drafting papers.

They truly make it easy for you. They aren’t hard or difficult like a lot of other lawyers in your firm who run their assistants ragged. They answer all of your questions and push you to give your all. “But remember to rest,” Nanami always tells you. “Burnout is a killer.” He is the softest of the two and a true sweetheart at heart.

Higuruma is more of the sterner one, always giving you constructive criticism with any underlayer of encouragement. He has a dry humor that reminds you of a boring dad and has you giggling while you’re doing your work. The two lawyers bounce off of one another, having disagreements and arguments but always coming together to win a case.

They are truly a duo made in heaven, especially in the looks department. It isn’t a surprise to you that the entire firm has their eyes on them as handsome as they are—soft-looking lips, firm stares, and eyes that make your blood run hot. Your dreams are often filled with hot visions of doing very nasty things with Higuruma’s nose and stroking Nanami’s cheekbones with your fingers.

As far as you know, they’re single and unmarried, but things can change. Not to mention that you’re their intern! There is a very clear line that you don’t cross at a job and that includes not fucking your bosses.

No matter how sexy they are in their suits, or how intoxicating their cologne is, or how you wish to feel their big hands on you, you can never ever destroy the work relationship you have with them and fuck up your entire life. Besides, how else are you going to get a job here when you graduate law school?

So you disguise your interest in them as kindness and shove your horiness away, never acting on your attractions to them. But sometimes, you do think that the feeling is mutual. Just in November before your final exams, your bosses graciously offered to help you study. You were studying from your self-made study guide over lunch with them in their office. You had five classes during your fall semester you had final exams for: four tests and one paper due the same week you took your tests.

“Well, I can tutor you for the tests,” Higuruma said, taking a peak at your guide. “Clearly, you need someone to break this shit down for you and test you.”

“And make sure you don’t completely blow your top over your grammar,” Nanami added, referring to your paper. “I was a 4.0 in Harvard, don’t you know?” As usual, you laughed. They always knew how to take your head out of your work with their teasing and dry humor.

That month, the three of you would meet during lunch and work. Higuruma would time you on definitions for legal terms, answering open-ended questions, and knowing which court does what. Nanami, in contrast, would take a look at your final paper and make alterations, highlighting anything that needed to be edited and giving suggestions.

It was the most help you got in your three years of law school. And unfortunately, it made you fall deeper for them. You weren’t even planning to attend the firm’s tenth anniversary party, but when you found out Higuruma and Nanami were attending through an invite to your work email, you knew you had to show up.

You smile at Yuki now, raising your champagne glass. “Well, cheers to that,” you giggle and clink your glass with hers. “You’re sweet, Yuki. Definitely makes this whole environment worth it.” The two of you giggle to each other and gossip about the other guests as you sip champagne and much on veggie sticks from the snack table.

At some point during your third glass, you hear a buzz come from your purse. Your heart skips a bit and you race to fish it out, thinkin that it may be Nanami or Higuruma texting you that they’ve finally arrived. But when you see that it’s your Canvas notification, your stomach drops.

Suddenly, the champagne tastes sour and all of the sounds of the party sound muffled like you’re underwater. All of your grades are in, including your final paper. You swallow hard as you stare at your phone screen, your vision becoming fuzzy. You feel like you’re about to faint. Oh, where are Nanami and Higuruma when you need them?

“…Y/N?” You turn to Yuki as if you just realized that she’s standing there. “Sorry, what?” You dumbly ask.

“They finally brought out the chocolate fountain!” She announces, pointing excitedly at the fountain bubbling chocolate fondue just a few feet away. “Let’s get some before we have to fight off the entire party.” You force a smile and wave her off, trying to hide your oncoming anxiety attack the best you can. “You go ahead. I need to powder my nose first.”

It’s enough to make Yuki agree, telling her that she’ll get you a plate. Once she’s strutting off in her heels, you make a beeline for the bathroom located down the hallway from the ballroom. You move as quickly as possible in your heels, scrolling for your friend’s contact at the same time. By the time you reach the bathroom, you feel like you’re about to throw up.

You barrel through the door, sighing in relief when you find it empty. Quickly, you shut the door and will your friend to answer the phone, gripping the sink for support. You feel as if your knees are about to buckle from the anxiety you feel bubbling inside of you. “Pick up, pick up, pick up,” you mutter. Finally, your friend does, coughing into the phone. “What’s up, babe?” she crokes out. “Did your lawyer baes come yet?”

“No, but my grades just came back and I’m in the bathroom so I don’t have a panic attack, but I am having a panic attack.” You face yourself in the mirror. You thought you looked so pretty with your Fenty Beauty foundation, plumping gloss, and long lashes framing your gold eyeshadow. But now? All you see is anxiousness.

“Okay, relax,” your bestie soothingly says. Only she knows the stress you’ve been under for three years. “Breathe. Tell yourself your affirmations. I already know you did amazing, Y/N. You already know that too. You studied your ass off, remember?”

You do. You had to. Only you have the power to make all three of these years of constant stress mean something. You need that degree. “Yeah,” you exhale before inhaling again. You do that a couple of times, egged on by your friend who tells you how smart and determined you are. Finally, you feel like you’re ready. “Here I go…I’m opening them now.”

You put the call on speaker, but your friend is silent as you shakily open the Canvas app. You check each one of your final grades, your heart damn near exploding one after the other. All high scores. Three As and one B. “Oh, my God,” you gasp.

“What?” your friend urges. “What’d you get?”

You nearly drop your phone as your body trembles from excitement and relief. “I passed,” you whisper. Then again, louder this time: “I passed!” you squeal. “I fucking passed!” You feel tears prick your eyes and you have to rapidly blink to keep from ruining your mascara.

You can’t believe it. You’re done! You’re going to graduate law school next spring! “Congratulations, girl!” your friend cheers. “I knew you could do it! Now go out there, turn the fuck up, and celebrate with your lawyer baes.”

You scoff, taking some tissue to tab at your cheeks and temple. “For the last time, they’re not my baes or boos or boyfriends.” She swears that Higuruma and Nanami are your future husbands. “Not yet!” she argues. “You just wait till they see you lookin’ fine as fuck in your dress and next thing you know, you’re going home with one of ‘em…or both!”

“Goodbye, you perv,” you giggle. “Thank you. I love you.” Your friend bids you farewell and tells you to text her later before you end the call. You take a moment to check yourself out in the mirror, admiring the bad bitch in your reflection.

Finally, you put your phone away and strut back to the party, feeling like you’re the sun and the moon. You feel sexy, exuberant, and like you’re on top of the fucking world. Nothing and nobody can get in your way.

You suddenly bump right into someone’s back, causing you to stumble. “Oh, excuse me!” you gasp. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…” Your words die in your throat when the stranger turns, revealing himself as your favorite handsome blonde attorney. Nanami is usually in suits for work, but this one is especially tailored. “Ms. L/N,” he says in his smooth, eargasmic voice. “I didn’t expect to bump into you so early tonight.”

You gape at him, unable to speak. You’re at a loss for words. Just then, before you can look any dumber, Higuruma appears with two champagne glasses in hand. He, too, is in a designer suit and red bottom shoes, looking so sexy that it should be illegal. “Oh, there you are. We were actually looking for you.”

His tired-looking brown eyes scale down your outfit. “That’s…some dress. You look nice.” Maybe you imagine it, but his cheeks look pinker in the light. Nanami clears his throat and awkwardly pushes up his framed glasses, snatching one glass from Higuruma and taking a sip.

”T-Thank you,” you stammer, finally finding your voice. You spot a passing waiter on your left with a tray and snatch a glass from it. You’ll need it. You clear your throat, conjuring that bad bitch from the bathroom. “U-Um, I’m actually glad you’re both here. I was looking for you too.”

The lawyers’ brows raise expectantly. “Oh?” Higuruma asks. “Why is that?” You break out into a smile, unable to contain your joy. “I got my grades back for my exams!” you excitedly announce. “All As and Bs!” You fish your phone out of your clutch and shove the screen into your bosses’ faces. “See for yourselves,” you proudly giggle.

Nanami takes your phone and peers down at it, squinting into the blue light. When he sees your grades, a slow smile creeps across his face that gives you butterflies. “Let me see,” Higuruma mumbles, snatching your phone from Nanami.

He mutters to himself, something he always does when reading. You find it so endearing. When he finishes, he scoffs in surprise. “Well, damn,” he huffs. “This is impressive, Y/N. You really locked in as the kids say these days.”

“You’re not that old, Higuruma,” Nanami scoffs, snatching your phone back and handing it to you. “Nice job, Ms. L/N. We’ll have to celebrate.” The two lawyers smile at you like you’re the best thing in the world. You feel it. Standing with them, you feel as if nothing can touch you.

Higuruma raises his glass, a small smile playing on his lips. “A toast to good grades and an even better future.” You all raise your glasses and clink them before taking a sip. You can already feel the effects of the champagne taking over. You feel bubbly and light as a feather. Beautiful and carefree. Sexy, even. Very dangerous.

“Thank you,” you happily sigh. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without your help with the studying. I really appreciate you both for doing that.” The lawyers look happy hearing that kind of praise and gratitude from you. “Well, you can thank us by helping us make it through this party,” Higuruma sighs. “After all, we need to show our law school graduate around to all of these fine, fun folk.”

He looks around the room, looking like he’s thinking anything but nice things about the guests. You snort to yourself. “Don’t we, Nanami?” he asks, smirking at the blonde. Nanami sighs to himself, looking absolutely done with being here. “I barely even want to be here. I almost want to be back in traffic.”

He turns to you now, a small smile playing on his lips. “But hearing about your grades makes it worth it all.” If only he could know how that makes you feel. The butterflies in your stomach have gone haywire.

You swallow, feeling the confidence of the champagne taking over. “W-Well, maybe next spring when I graduate, you both can come to the ceremony,” you nervously suggest. “It’s only right since you’re my bosses and mentors.” You give them a shy smile, peering up at them through your lashes.

The two lawyers look at each other blankly and then back at you. “Mentors?” Higuruma parrots. “We’re your mentors?”

Immediately, your confidence slips. “Well, you did help me study and you’ve shown me so much about the legal system. I look up to the both of you.” You bite your bottom lip, feeling as if you’ve said too much. You’re moving too fast. You’re overdoing it! “I-I’m sorry I assumed—“

“Don’t apologize,” Nanami firmly interrupts. His eyes are all aglow with a quiet passion you’ve never seen before. “We’d be honored to be your mentors…if that’s what you want.” Higuruma looks just as interested in the position, looking ready to drop everything and sign up.

You feel a big, dumb smile split across your face, giddy and joyful. “Then I’d be honored to call you my mentors,” you giggle. “Let’s toast to that too!” You raise your glass to clink with theirs, leading to another joint sip. You open your mouth to say more, to keep them standing here with you, but everyone at the party is just as excited to see the two attorneys as you are.

“Oh, there they are!” someone announces. You turn, finding one of the firm’s oldest lawyers walking over to Nanami and Higuruma. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you two! C’mon, the chairman wants to see you.” He practically drags them away, blabbering on about the many guests here who want to meet them.

You watch them leave just as they turn to give you one last look, an apology in their gazes. You feel an immense pang of disappointment inside of you and you feel stupid for feeling that way. It’s a party! This is their job! Of course, they need to mingle and talk to other important people.

Yuki luckily comes to your rescue, strutting over to you with more snacks. “Oh, Y/N!” she exclaims, taking your hand. “There you are! Come here, you have to try these white chocolate raspberry bars before they’re gone!” She drags you off in a different direction from Nanami and Higuruma, widening the gap between you.

For the next hour, the party wears on like this: you on your side and your bosses on the other, all of you stuck being pulled in directions other than each other’s. You watch as they chat with chairmen and CEOs; attorneys and paralegals; city officials and policemen. It’s honestly annoying…probably because of the champagne you drink.

With every passing minute, you sip a bit more, feeling even lighter and riskier than your first glass. You’re pretty sure you’re on about four ½ glasses at this point, so much so that you start seeing things. You believe you feel Nanami’s eyes on your ass from across the room or Higuruma’s gaze straying away from a guest to check you out. Your risky, reckless behavior makes you smile at them from across the party, not realizing how flirty it may come off to them or someone else watching. But the idea of that doesn’t embarrass or mortify you. In fact, it turns you on.

But nothing even comes from it. You never find your way over to your lawyers. Disappointed, sleepy, and exhausted from walking around in heels, you decide to give your dogs and the alcohol a break. You go up to the bar situated on the left hand side of the ballroom and take a seat on one of the stools, ordering a club soda.

“That’s the easiest thing I’ve made all night!” the bartender exclaims, making you laugh. “God bless you!” After they finish whipping up your drink, you’re in the middle of a few needed sips when someone sits next to you. You turn, finding a young man in a suit that looks like Tom Hiddlestone and Timothy Chatlane had a baby.

The wavy-haired man in his suit smiles at you. “Your Nanami and Higuruma’s paralegal, right?” he asks. You shake your head. “Intern. Not a paralegal…yet.”

He nods, chuckling at your humor. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around the office before. I would’ve remembered a face like yours.” His tone is flirtatious and you pick up on it immediately. Usually, you’d disregard and ignore this, but tonight? You may just play along.

“Possibly,” you reply, lowering your soda. “I have one of those faces.” Feeling particularly chatty, you put a hand out for a shake. “I’m Y/N,” you blurt. “I’m an intern for the law firm on the sixth floor.” The man races to shake your hand, hanging on for longer than necessary. His palm is sweaty. “Ah, yes, the law interns,” he chuckles. “I’m Mark, an associate for an accounting firm. I’m up on the eighth.”

He flashes a pearly white smile that is probably supposed to make you swoon. “That explains why we haven’t seen each other,” you giggle. He laughs with you and you decide that he’s cute enough to waste time on at the party.

“Maybe this party is good for something then,” he flirtatiously says, his smile turning suggestive. “I was plannin’ on leaving soon ‘cause this crowd is dead, but you just might make me wanna stay.” And just like that, he pops the bubble on your fantasy plan. “Oh” is all you can say.

No doubt he is trying to get into your pants…or rather under your dress. You turn to sip your water in silence, trying to think of something to say to let him down easy. “Are you here with someone?” he asks and his hand goes crawling to yours again.

Now you really need to think of something fast. “Um” is all you can get out before a shadow descends upon you and him. You both turn to find Nanami standing there. “Oh, sorry, am I interrupting, Mark?” he asks. He sounds apologetic, but you can tell he isn’t by the firm set of his lips.

The attorney beside you gives your boss a lop-sided smile. “Just my drink,” he jokes as the bartender passes him a whiskey. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Mr. Nanami?” He cocks his head to the side, drunk and cocky. “Sorry to cut in, but I need to steal Y/N away for a moment,” Nanami explains before turning to you. “We hate to do this now, but since you’re here, we’d like to plan out the schedule ahead of the holidays.”

“Oh!” you exclaim, your brain already switching into work mode. “Um…yeah, sure, of course.” You turn to Mark who looks less than pleased about being cockblocked. “It was nice meeting you, Mark. I’ll see you on the seventh floor one day.” The attorney only gives you a smile and side-eyes Nanami as you leave with him.

In silence, you two head to the elevators and Nanami presses the up button. You aren’t too sure why he and Higuruma are doing this now during a party, but you’ll wait to find out. When the elevator comes, Nanami lets you inside first and then follows behind you. When the doors close, you become hyper aware of him standing so close next to you. You can smell his cologne—spicy and musky like cinnamon. It makes your body react in very nasty ways.

“You won’t be seeing him,” he says. You blink, your fuzzy brain almost not catching that. “What?” you ask.

He turns to you, his eyes firm. “You won’t be seeing him,” he repeats. “Not to gossip, but the man is known to stick his dick where he makes his business. He’s slept with half of his department and a lot of his clients.”

You almost forget who the hell he is talking about until you remember (of course!) Mark. “Damn,” you scoff. “Well, thank you for the save…not that I was planning on sleeping with him or anything. He’s not my type.” You immediately flush, hot with shame and embarrassment. You shouldn’t have said any of that. ‘Fuck that champagne,’ you think.

However, Nanami silently chuckles to himself, finding it funny. But still, you beat yourself up. At least until you get to your floor. Nanami and Higuruma share an office space, their offices separated by a door where one can easily enter one room and exit the other. Nanami’s office consists of tan furniture, a plush couch where you often do your work, and his book collection while Higuruma’s office is all dark colors, polished Mahogany wood, and a mini bar. Some things they do share though are private bathrooms, personal thermostats, and a beautiful view of the skyline.

You walk down the hallway to the office with Nanami and enter his, finding Higuruma already there. “Took you two long enough,” he grumbles. Nanami’s office is dark, only lit by the full moon coating the floor in silver and illuminating Higuruma’s manly, handsome features.

Suddenly, your heart begins to pound. “S-So where’s the schedule?” you stammer. Nanami shuts the door behind you and walks up to stand beside Higuruma. “There is no schedule,” he confesses. “Sorry to bring you up here so randomly, but we didn’t want to do this in front of everyone.”

You scowl, confused. “Do what?” you ask, looking between them. The two give each other a look before Higuruma provides you with an envelope from under his suit jacket. “To give you this.”

You stare at the envelope, even more confused. Tentatively, you take it and look at them, unsure. “Open it,” Higuruma silently says with his eyes. Swallowing hard, you take a millisecond to mentally prepare yourself for what will be in the envelope and tear it open like you would a bandaid.

A folded letter flutters to your feet and you pick it up to read it. “On behalf of [the firm] and the departments of business and financial law, we would like to offer you a full time position as a legal assistant in the spring of 2025. Signed…” Your eyes grow big at the signatures. “Kento Nanami and Hiyomi Higuruma,” you exhale.

The two handsome men standing before you smile while you’re busy trying to resist the urge to pinch yourself. You have to be dreaming! You’ve gotta be! “Y-You’re offering me a job?” you softly ask. Higuruma smirks. “You don’t miss much, do you?”

Nanami nudges his partner in the arm. “We’ve noticed the work you’ve been putting in for us all these twelve months. Don’t think your hard work went unappreciated, Y/N. You’ve helped us a lot, even without us telling you, and for that, this is what we have to offer.” His gaze is soft, intimate. “This is just to get your foot in the door. Of course, you don’t have to stay forever and we’ll help you study for the BAR if you want to take it.”

Higuruma doesn’t add on, but he doesn’t have to. He, too, gazes down at you like everything Nanami is saying is true. You look down at the letter and then back up at them. “I….I don’t know what to say.” Higuruma’s smirk widens. “Say you’ll take the job.”

Finally, you break into a humongous smile and you jump up and down. “Yes!” you squeal. “Yes, yes, I’ll take it! Thank you both so much!” You go to toss yourself at them for a hug, but you make one misstep and nearly trip. You gasp, trying to find your footing.

Quickly, Nanami hooks his arm around your midsection, securing you in his arms. “Careful!” he exclaims, catching you. “That would’ve been nasty.” You should just tell him thank you and leave the comfort of his arms. You should just take the L now and leave before things get bad.

But you don’t. You make the mistake of staring up into his inviting eyes and soft, pink lips. His eyes gaze down to your mouth, his pupils dilating as if he sees something he likes…wants even. He leans down and so do you, and suddenly your lips are on his as you stand in the comfort of his embrace.

The kiss is short and gentle, but it’s sweet enough to steal your breath away. It is a kiss fit for a Disney movie ending. But just as soon as it happens, it ends and you both pull away, stunned. “Whoa,” he exhales.

Yes, whoa. Whoa, that was the best kiss you’ve ever had. Whoa, you just kissed your boss. Immediately, you jump back as if burned and over your mouth. “Oh, God,” you gasp. “I-I’m so sorry. I…oh, God.” You begin to shake, your eyes welling with tears. Regret and shame instantly fill you.

Higuruma steps forward, placing a hand on your shoulder. Nanami tries to come near you too, his gaze soft. “Y/N,” he softly says. You quickly side-step him and step away from Higuruma’s touch. “I have to go,” you sob. “I can’t be here. I shouldn’t be here.” You begin to panic, dropping the job acceptance letter in the process. You don’t try to pick it up.

“Wait, Y/N,” Nanami pleads. “Stay. It’s okay.” He walks toward you like you’re a wounded animal, gingerly and slowly. “No, it’s not!” you whimper. “I can’t believe I did this! I’m gonna ruin everything now! I-I—“

A hand grasps yours and pulls you close into his big, warm body. “Sweetheart, calm down,” Nanami soothingly says. “It’s okay.” He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. There, you begin to cry, big, fat tears rolling down your cheeks and ruining your makeup. “It’s okay,” Nanami murmurs into your ear.

At the sound of his voice, you look up into his eyes and see that they are hooded and soft. Affectionate. When he leans in again, you don’t pull away. You let him kiss you, slow and deep, your lips moving in perfect tandem with each other. It is almost as if your lips are meant to kiss. Nanami’s big hand cups your face, tilting your head slightly to the side to meld your mouths together, earning a soft moan out of you. His hands slide down to your ass, caressing the bump made underneath your dress from it.

From the back, you feel Higuruma presses himself against you, his big hands sliding across your naked lower back and shoulders. His touch electrifies you. So do his kisses. When he begins to kiss your neck and shoulders, you pull away from Nanami, gasping. “H-Hang on,” you stutter.

He stops, his hands still on you. Questions flare in his hooded, brown eyes. “Tell us what you want, Y/N,” he says, his voice strained. “Tell us to stop and we swear to God, we’ll stop.” Nanami pauses too, slight pants leaving his lips. You want to apologize, to tell them that this isn’t right or proper or appropriate to do. This is so, so wrong.

But as you stand here in the dark sandwiched between your bosses, you’ve also never felt more right. “Keep going,” you softly beg. The lawyers descend upon you immediately, kissing, touching, and grinding their hips into you. You feel their hardened cocks press against your groin and your ass, giving you a taste of how you’re making them feel…and have made them feel for months now.

“We wanted this for so long,” Higuruma whispers into your neck. “You have no fuckin’ idea, Y/N.” His thick lips press down your spine, peppering your skin in wet kisses. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to pull your ass aside and do this to you.”

“So many times,” Nanami growls, his hands sliding up to your hips to indulge in them. “You make it so hard to control myself, darling.” You’re feeling the last of your self-control slipping, the pleasure too much to handle. You moan at every touch and kiss, loving that you can feel their defined muscles through their suits.

“Take it off,” you whisper and motion to your dress. The lawyers share a surprised look with each other that quickly melts into lust and need. “You tell us if you want us to stop, you understand?” Higuruma sternly asks. You nod, but that isn’t enough. “Words,” he states. “Give me your words. Speak up.”

Your nipples harden at his firm tone, loving how he puts you so effortlessly in your place. “Yes, sir,” you reply, the words feeling so natural to you. Higuruma sharply inhales, greatly affected by this. He quickly snatches one string out of the perfectly-tied knot at your neck, loosening your dress in one single act. The front slips off of you, revealing your hardened brown nipples and ass only covered by a black thong.

“Shit,” Nanami exhales while Higuruma chuckles. “So that’s why that ass looked so good tonight,” he murmurs, taking a handful of it for himself. “You should be forbidden from wearin’ dresses and pencil skirts around us, y’know. You make it very hard to concentrate on much.”

One of his big hands glides down your asscheeks to slide between your inner thighs. “But you know that, don’t you?” he whispers. His thick fingers slide against the wet cloth of your thong while Nanami feasts on your tits, molding and massaging them while his lips coat your nipples in saliva. “Oh, fuck,” you moan, tilting your head back at their ministrations.

“Naughty little thing,” Higuruma tuts, still rubbing you. “You’re so fuckin’ wet. You must’ve needed this from us, hm?” He presses his fingers up, rubbing your clit in circular motions. Your moans grow louder, leading Nanami to capture them with his mouth.

“You need to quiet down, baby,” Higuruma says, humored. “You’ll have the entire party comin’ up to see why our good little intern is makin’ so much noise.” Nanami pulls away to hold your chin, forcing you to look at him. “I bet she wants that,” he whispers. “Bet she wants everyone to know what she’s doing to us.”

“I’m sure they do,” Higuruma chuckles. “This ain’t the first time we’ve walked around the office hard as rocks for her.” He rubs you a little harder, making you bite your lip at the sensations. Jealous, Nanami glares at his partner. “That’s enough, Hiromi,” he growls. “You need to share. You’re not the only one here.”

Higuruma glares back, but allows the blonde to take over. You watch with shaky breath as Nanami slowly kneels down, staring up at you as he does. “I wanna taste you,” he confesses. “I wanna make you feel good. Will you let me?” Delirious from the foreplay, you nod and in an instant, your leg is hiked over his shoulder and he is sloppily French kissing your pussy.

“Now look who’s bein’ fuckin’ greedy,” Higuruma growls, impatient. “I need a taste too. Scoot over.” “We’re both gonna tongue fuck that pussy now,” he whispers. “When you need to cum, you let yourself do it, got it?”

Once again, you gush at the tone of his voice, much to Nanami’s enjoyment. “Y-Yes, sir,” you whimper. Then all words cease to exist when Higuruma kneels behind you. For the next couple of minutes, your world is blinded by pleasure as you receive dual cunnilingus from your two bosses. “Oh, shiiiit!” you groan, grasping Nanami’s head and Higuruma’s hand on your hip just to hold onto something.

You feel as if you’re on a rollercoaster, getting pulled this way and that, your stomach fluttering from the bumpy ride and the rush. Your stomach flutters and your heart pounds with every grip of Higuruma’s hands on your ass holding you steady; every lap of Nanami’s tongue against your clit. Higuruma is busy sliding his tongue along your slit, his nose rubbing against your ass…which feels oddly good too!

Everything they do feels good. Your juices and their spit collide, mixing together and making everything way more stimulating and sensitive than normal. You grip Nanami’s blonde hair, pushing him closer to your clit, your breathing coming out in huffs. You can feel that knot in your core tightening the more your lawyers lick, lap, and suck at your sloppy, juicy little pussy, drinking away as if they’re both starving for you.

You don’t realize how loud you are until you hear yourself moaning throughout the empty office. “O-Oh, fuck!” you wail. “I’m gonna cum! You’re gonna make me—“

“Wait,” Higuruma hisses, suddenly shooting a hand up to cover your mouth. He stands up so fast that he scares the shit out of you, almost as if he teleported. “I hear footsteps.” Your heart explodes in your chest and Nanami immediately stops his pussy-eating to listen too.

There, outside in the hallway, you hear footsteps and muffled laughter. Neither one of you moves or even breathes, standing still as statues in the dark. Luckily, the voices and footsteps disappear when a door opens and closes, leaving you in silence once more. Higuruma looks down at Nanami, still shaken but also very horn. “Let’s get her on the desk,” he suggests, his gaze lustful. “She needs somethin’ for that mouth if she won’t shut the fuck up.”

A smile that you’ve never seen before grows on Nanami’s face, his glasses foggy and nearly falling off of his face. Quickly, he stands and scoops you up without a word, wrapping your legs around his waist. You squeak as you’re picked up, your heels dangling from around his hips. He is fast transporting you from the floor to the desk that is luckily free of any files or papers.

Nanami places you on his desk and takes off his glasses before proceeding to duck between your thighs. As he begins lapping at your cunt again, Higuruma comes over to your side, his groin at eye level. Ziiiiip goes his fly and out comes his big, thick, hard cock. Your body and pussy throb at the sight of him.

He stares down at you, lustful and demanding. “Open your mouth for me, baby,” he demands, taking off his suit jacket. “Put those pretty lips on me.” He rapidly begins uncuffing his sleeves and unbuttoning his top, revealing his mouthwateringly broad, hairy chest you want to nuzzle. You do as he says and wrap a hand around him to stroke him as you wrap your lips around his shaft.

Higuruma smiles…and he barely does that, so you must be doing a good job. “That’s it,” he groans. “Such a fuckin’ slut for me.” He wraps a hand in your hair and pulls you closer as he uses his other hand to pull his pants down farther, exposing his firm, plump ass. You become handsy, using one hand to feel up his body and delicious happy trail while you use the other to run your fingers through Nanami’s blonde locks.

You feel like a princess and a slut all at once, receiving the best of both worlds. Finally, that urge to release comes again and you whimper and slobber all over Higuruma’s cock as you get close. “Cum for me, darling,” Nanami groans into your pussy. “Do as you’re told. Cum all over my fuckin’ face right now.”

With a high-pitched squeal, you do, leaking and creaming all over Nanami’s tongue. He greedily laps you up as you write and shake on his desk, much to Higuruma’s enjoyment. He loves watching you ride out your orgasm with his dick in your luscious mouth, but fuck, is he jealous watching Nanami eat you out. “Don’t be greedy, Nanami,” he growls. “Give me some.”

Nanami rises from between your thighs, his hair a mess and his lips coated in you. Higuruma grabs him from the back of his neck and smashes their lips together. Right in front of you. You gape at them, shook and totally confused as they sloppily kiss, swapping spit and your cum between their mouths.

You had no idea they had a “thing” going on, but then again, you wouldn’t think you’d know. Nanami and Higuruma are very private people. But shit, is it hot to see them make out in front of you for only your eyes only.

When they pull away, Higuruma smirks down at you. “Look at this naughty girl gettin’ off to us,” he snorts. “You won’t go tellin’ people about us, right, baby?” You shake your head as best as you can with his cock still sliding in and out of your mouth, making him groan at the vibrations.

Nanami watches, quickly stripping off his jacket and shirt to expose his beautiful muscles and chest pebbled in fine, blonde hair. “I can’t fuckin’ take much more,” he huffs. “I need to fuck you now or I’ll lose my mind.” He begins toying with your tits, massaging one while Higuruma plays with the other. “Tell me you want that too. Tell me what you want, Y/N.”

Higuruma pinches one of your nipples, causing your mouth to open wide on a gasp and his big cock to slip out. “Need you,” you gasp out. “Both of you. I don’t care how! Please just fuck me!” You’ve never been so fucking horny in your life. You feel as if you’ll die if you don’t cum again now.

The two lawyers look at each other, both contemplating how to maneuver this as if you’re a case they can’t quite figure out how to win. “You go first,” Higuruma suggests. “I wanna fuck her throat a little more.” Nanami doesn’t need to be told twice, his eyes molten with lust. “Bend over,” he demands and you do, assuming the position.

The two groan at the sight of your plump ass exposed over Nanami’s desk, your heels still on. They both give your ass an open-palmed smack, making you gasp at the pleasurable sting. “So good at taking orders,” Nanami murmurs in your ear. “I like that. That’s what good girls do.” He gives your cheek a peck before finally, he slides his cock against your pussy and slowly slides himself inside of you.

You both gasp at the sensations, your pussy walls squeezing around him as they become accommodated to his size. He is thick and long, making you feel so full and so stretched. Nanami murmurs sweet nothings in your ear as he coaxes you to rub your clit, making you wetter. Once you’re finally relaxed is when he proceeds to grab your hips and fuck your shit up.

His desk shakes slightly as he pistons into you, his hips slamming into your ass, causing the sound of skin slapping against skin to echo throughout the room. Your moans and cries are loud and clear, possibly audible even to the party. “Fuck!” you loudly moan. “Oh, my God, yes!”

Another cock slaps against your mouth and slides in, not stopping until it is in your throat. “Uh-uh, baby,” Higuruma chuckles. “Too loud. Little slut just can’t help herself, can she, Nanami?” His partner is too busy ramming your cunt to answer, doing his best to hold back his moans and gasps.

Higuruma snorts. “Neither can you, apparently.” Nanami glares at him, silently telling him to fuck off as he presses his front into your back, pushing himself deeper. “Push back on me, darling. Fuck me back.” You do as he orders, tossing your ass back into him and pushing yourself farther onto his wonderful cock. “Good girl!” he moans. “Needed this for so long. Needed you so bad.”

He murmurs and babbles into your shoulder, suckling on it as he pounds into your wet heat over and over again. It doesn’t take you long for you to feel the urge to cum again as Nanami’s balls slap against your needy clit, stimulating you further. “M’cwumming!” you whine around Higuruma’s cock just as that second intense wave washes over you.

“Good girl,” Nanami grunts, holding your shaking body close as your pussy walls grip and stroke him. “Such a good, good girl for me.” He slows his pace but continues to fuck you, edging you and making your orgasm last even longer. Your head feels dizzy and your thighs are slick with cum, but they’re not done yet.

“Let’s switch,” Nanami tells Higuruma. “I need to feel her mouth.” Higuruma looks ready to fuck a hole in a wall with the wild look he has in his eyes. They slowly pull out of you and switch spots, Higuruma now behind you while Nanami is in front. Just as quickly as they switched, they slide back into your holes again.

“Shit, baby,” Higuruma hisses, gripping your hips in his big, calloused hands. “You’re so fuckin’ wet. I can get so deep.” His hand wraps around your throat while Nanami fucks it, groaning at its tightness. “You want it deeper, don’t you?” he teasingly asks. “You want me to fuck this pussy till it cums again?”

“Mmm-hmm!” you desperately whine. Nothing sounds better to you right now. You are drunk off of the pleasure and these two sexy men, needing their cocks and cum like you need air to breathe.

The two begin to fuck you in tandem with each other, one pulling out while the other pushes in, filling up one of your holes. You have never loved being used before, feeling like an office slut for them. Maybe this can be one of your duties—sucking and fucking them when they are stressed at work. Wouldn’t that be so nice? Your body certainly thinks so.

Higuruma’s heavy balls slap against your clit as he pistons into you, making the desk shake. “Fuck, baby!”he grunts. “You’re gonna make me cum soon.” Nanami lets out an agreeable moan, fucking your throat. “M-Me too,” he stammers. “You’re gonna be our good little assistant and take our cum for us, darling?”

Before you can even think about answering or trying to, you hear something. Knock, knock, knock. “Um…Mr. Higuruma?” someone calls outside the door. “Mr. Nanamin, are you in there? It’s Itadori!” Instantly, the two lawyers grow still and anxiety pushes your hormones out the door.

“Shit!” Higuruma hisses. He clears his throat, doing his best to sound like he wasn’t just pumping you full of his cock. “Y-Yes, we’re in here,” he calls. “Do you need something, Itadori?”

Yuji Itadori is by far one of the cutest and sweetest interns in the firm, so you don’t feel too angry about being interrupted. Just extremely sexually frustrated. “One of the lawyers sent me up here to fetch you,” Itadori explains. “They’re about to start the anniversary speech in about fifteen minutes!”

Slowly, Higuruma and Nanami begin to fuck you again, moving tortuously slow. You can feel yourself growing closer to orgasm and do your best to keep quiet, glad to have something in your mouth. “We’ll be down soon,” Nanami replies. “Thank you, Itadori.”

“You betcha!” Itadori chirps. “Oh, and if you see Y/N, tell her that the cake is out! I saved her a slice!” Then off he goes, his footsteps disappearing down the hall and the ding of the elevator slicing through the silence. Once he’s gone, you all breathe a collective sigh of relief.

“Now then,” Higuruma growls, “let’s make this little slut cum before we get caught.”

Your bosses make do with the time they have and fill your holes with each vigorous, pounding thrust that makes both your mouth and pussy salivate. The office is filled with the sounds of your hushed moans, creaky desk legs, and the light slapping of skin as Higuruma fucks and fucks and fucks your pussy like a machine.

When he finally feels you squeezing around him, he slides one hand down between you to rub your clit. “Cum for me,” he urges you. “Give it to me, baby. Cum on that dick now.”

Maybe it’s the way he talks you through it or how Nanami sounds fucking your face or the fact that you’re on a time crunch, but the third orgasm quickly crashes down onto you as despite its slow buildup. It is just as tense as the first two, making you whine around Nanami’s cock as your cunt massages and strokes Higuruma off.

“Fuck!” he grunts. “I’m about to cum too. Where you want it, baby? Tell me now before I make the decision for you.”

“O-On me!” you gasp out, still in the throes of your orgasm. “Do it on me! Anywhere you want!”

Quickly, Higuruma pulls his cock, sobbing wet with your cum, out of you while Nanami ruts into your mouth, chasing his orgasm. Their sexy, deep moans and grunts of release fill the air as each hot load of cum coats your ass and your tongue.

You shudder and deliriously giggle as they cum, feeling all of that pleasure and the high from your orgasm collide. As your orgasms pass, you three pant and huff in the darkness, recovering from the activity.

Clearing his throat, Nanami pulls out of your mouth, allowing you to swallow his load. Meanwhile, Higuruma takes some tissues from the desk and sops up his cum up from your ass. Though it is sweet, it is also very, very awkward. ‘Of course, it is, you slut!’ you critically think. ‘You just fucked your fucking bosses!’

Once Higuruma finishes, he tosses the tissues away and steps away to allow you to freely move. You stay laid across the desk, not wanting to look up and see the regret in their eyes. You clear your throat, trying to ease the awkward tension. “Well, that’s one way to celebrate a job offer,” you breathlessly say.

It works. The two lawyers begin to laugh, their deep, rumbling chuckles appealing to your ear. Finally, you look up and find them smiling. “Yes, it is,” Nanami chuckles, eyes and cheeks aglow. “You were amazing, darling.” His pet name and the praise makes your stomach flutter like a school girl’s when she sees her crush.

“Hope you don’t go givin’ that to any other employer in your future,” Higuruma chuckles, his body and forehead glistening in sweat. Your eyes drink in his body, committing his and Nanami’s to memory.

Your stomach flips, glad to see that things aren’t awkward or weird anymore. You move to sit up on Nanami’s desk, facing both of your bosses. “Oh, trust me…I won’t. I doubt I’d have any employers as sexy as you two.” You stare up at them through your lashes, earning two sweet kisses on the lips in response as if they are your boyfriends. Not your bosses.

”The feeling is mutual,” Higuruma sighs. “You have no idea how long we’ve wanted to do that with you.” Nanami hums in response, gently moving a strand of hair behind your ear, but it’s really just an excuse to touch you. Despite the tenderness, you can’t keep denying the pink elephant in the room. “So…what now?” you ask.

The two lawyers stare at you blankly, obviously not quite getting what you mean. Higuruma laughs, already buttoning up his shirt. “Well, if you mean in the present tense, I suggest we all get cleaned up and go back to the party before someone comes lookin’ for us again.”

Nanami pulls his pants up, fastening his belt. You watch, doing your best to swallow that lump in your throat. That isn’t what you meant….but what else could you mean? Surely, you don’t think this can be anything real or official. Friends with benefits or fuck buddies, sure. But actually dating your bosses? Your employers and mentors? That would be a tale for the entire firm to gossip about.

So you hang your tail between your legs and push away your disappointment. “Oh…yes, of course,” you softly say. “We definitely should. Uh…can one of you help me with my dress?”

You stand and turn around for Nanami to help you tie your dress behind your neck. You do the rest, hiding your face from them as it flushes with embarrassment. You don’t want them to see you cry if you do. You can’t tell what you’ll do off of the Brüte champagne. After you finish dressing and checking your hair to make sure it doesn’t look too suspicious, the lawyers first check the hall to see if it’s empty.

Then they lead you down the hall to the elevator. None of you speak. The air is tense again with silence and your shoes clicking across the floor, the gravity of your decision swirling in the air like cigarette smoke. Pungent, heady, and inescapable. You feel regretful of your decision immediately despite how good and right it felt in the moment. You wouldn’t be surprised if Higuruma and Nanami revoked the job offer tomorrow morning.

You press the elevator button and the box luckily comes pretty quick. The lawyers let you in first before moving in behind you. Higuruma presses the button to the lobby and the doors close. Now in close proximity to them again, you’re aware of both men standing on either side of you, facing ahead. You clutch your purse to your stomach, biting your lip to avoid blurting something dumb.

“If you meant “what now” as in what about us, I hope you realize that this isn’t just a fling for us,” Higuruma says, his deep voice filling the tight space. “It can be if you want it to be, but if you’d like this to be more official, I wouldn’t be opposed to that.” Your mouth falls agap as you gape at him. He stares back, his eyes intense and unmoving.

“Me either,” Nanami adds. “Excuse my language and call me a selfish motherfucker, but I can’t say the idea of seeing you with another man other than my partner doesn’t tick me off.” His fingers dance across your lower back, giving you shivers. Delicious shivers that only grow as the fact of the matter processes in your mind: this is real now.

Better say this now than never then. You slowly take their hands in both of yours, your heart stuttering. “I’d like that too,” you shyly admit. “But maybe we can keep this on the low for now? Just until I start my new job, at least.”

Ding the elevator goes as you finally arrive to the lobby. Nanami smiles, running his thumb along your knuckles. “If that’s what you want, Ms. L/N,” he teases. “See you after the speech.” Higuruma gives your hand a squeeze before he releases it and fixes his tie just as the doors open onto the lobby.

As you walk out of the elevator, you feel two hands open-palm smack you against your ass. You squeak, hiding your smile as the two lawyers stride away to the stage entrance to the ballroom as if nothing happened.

You take another entrance, walking through the one that cuts into the middle of the ballroom. You immediately find your intern group standing by the stage waiting for the speech to begin and strut over to them, unable to keep your hips from swaying. It is as if your lawyers amped your confidence up to about one hundred.

Yuki turns to you, a slice of cake in her hand. “There you are!” she announces. “Look, Yuji’s cute ass left you some cake! Where the hell have you been?”

You give her a smile and take the plate from her, needing something sweet to end your night off right. “I just got a job offer.”

THE END.

[svmjaeyvn]

love maze, s.jy.

chapter nine pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER NINE: JEALOUSY

previous masterlist next

word count: 4.1k

warnings: minjun is being a stalker, that’s sort of it??

a/n: IM SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG. i’m working + doing an internship at the same time so im exhausted everyday since being an adult SUCKS so i’ve neglected writing (though i have a new idea for a smau lol) and this not that great but i wanted to provide something for you guys </3 jake is down horrendous and not even hiding it now it’s crazy

"PLEASE STOP STARING," Ni-ki whined, throwing an ice cube in Jake's direction who was perched at the counter with a giddy smile. You were on the other side of the store, in the midst of barring out drinks before turning to help your coworker with a unsatisfied customer.

It was different to see you in your element, of course to you it being a mere barista job but Jake couldn't deny how much a leadership position suited you. You were good at quite literally everything, barely paying him mind when he waltzed in 20 minutes ago due to the afternoon rush but seeming calm and collected as you handled the line of drinks that seemed never ending. You looked as pretty as ever in his eyes, your haired pulled up by the clip in your hair and bare skin that seemed to be glowing.

You were called in last minute by a fellow shift as they weren't able to come in due to an emergency. Knowing Ms. Cho would've been the one to cover, something you couldn't bare to make her do as she was meant to take the week off due to spraining her wrist, and not wanting to leave Ni-ki hanging you canceled on the previous study-date you had scheduled with Jake much to his disappointment.

Lo and behold though, said boy decided that he had all the time in the world to wait for you. After you called him on your break, excited that a coworker would be coming in to do the closing tasks, telling him you'd be off at 6:30 instead of 10, Jake stopped by an hour before your shift would end deeming that allowing him to treat you to dinner would make up for the raincheck.

"Bro honestly, I know she's your girlfriend but can't you go sit down at least," Ni-ki's voice breaks his thoughts once more. Jake merely rolled his eyes, waving off the boy who looked exasperated by his presence.

"Yah, whatever. You're just bitter 'cause you’re bitchless," Jake began to tease, watching as the younger boy rolled his eyes and discretely flipped him off without the other customers taking note.

There was a familiar jingle from the door, Ni-ki's eyes looking past him to greet whoever walked in but his face turned into one of visible disgust. Immediately making his way in your direction without a word, Jake curiously turned around with his brows frowned to see what caused such a reaction.

A small scoff left Jake's lips, watching Minjun b-line to where you were behind the bar with Ni-ki glued to your side and staring him down like a guard dog. A small smirk picks at his lips, Jake waiting patiently, watching from afar to see what he planned on saying as you'd be able to handle it yourself.

"___," Minjun spoke, attempting to gain your attention but you merely lifted your gaze for a second as you focused on the drinks you had sequenced. "Can we talk?"

"I'm busy," You said dryly, sending him a pointed look as you were on shift quite literally in the middle of working. "If you need something you can ask my other staff to help you,"

"Are you seriously going to ignore me?"

"Are you seriously showing up to my job when I told you to leave me alone?" You shot back, brow raising in disbelief. "It's harassment, do you want me to call the cops?"

Minjun bit his lip, seemingly collecting his thoughts to carefully piece what he intended to say next. "You're ignoring my texts, how else am I supposed to talk to you?"

"I blocked you," You answer with a small shrug. "I don't want to talk to you. We have no reason to either way, it was your idea to move on with our lives in the first place so I don't see what you need from me now,"

"It was a mistake," Minjun attempts but a loud scoff comes from your end at his words. Feeling yourself grow more and more annoyed, you take a second to collect your thoughts, having to silently remind yourself that there were a handful of other customers that you still needed to be portrayed to in a professional light.

Your eyes flickered to the left, feeling the familiar gaze boring into your side. You met Jake's look, his brows slightly pinched as he held an unreadable expression glancing over Minjun. His arms were crossed against his chest, leaned against the front counter while his head tilted in the smallest of ways meeting your eyes. Silently indicating whether of not you wanted him to intervene, you shook your head, turning over to Ni-ki who was still on gaurd just a step behind you.

"Can you take over for me?" You ask the younger boy, his eyes softening as he glanced down to you with a small nod. Telling Sooyun the same, you leave the two on the floor to handle the customer flow and walk away from Minjun without a word. He attempted to follow along the counter that kept you separated, only to stop short noting how you met Jake at the break that separated the workers and customer side.

"You okay?" Jake asks softly, his hand finding its place in your own as he traced his thumb over your palm in attempt to offer some ease to your mind.

"I don't know why he keeps trying," You mumble out, swallowing the lump in your throat while Jake pursed his lips. You had to admit, no matter how unaffected you attempted to seem, having Minjun back and weaseling his way into your life was slowly opening up old wounds that never fully healed. It felt exhausting seeing his face, much less feeling trapped in your own workplace since that seemed to be his resort to finding you no matter how many hints you've given to leave you be.

"You want me to call the guys and we can jump him out back?" Jake offers, the teasing in his voice caused you to laugh though the glint in his eyes made it hard for you to tell if he was entirely joking. "I could take him on my own but I'm sure Jay wants a few hits at him anyway,"

"So does Ni-ki," You snicker, glancing over to the boy who had his eyes trained on Minjun with a menacing glare. "I don't have the money to bail all seven of you out though so let's not do that,"

A cocky smile fell upon Jake's lips knowing well enough his next words would cause you to grimace. "It's okay baby, I'm rich remember?"

You roll your eyes but couldn't refrain from the small laugh that fell from your lips. "You're annoying," You huff, though the giggle that filtered through your words had Jake smiling from ear to ear. Leaning closer, he's quick to place a kiss to your lips, your eyes widening as you pulled away with a tsk. "I'm on the clock, stop making me look like a bad worker,"

"No one's looking," Jake reassures, not even sparing a glance around the room but he's sure of himself. His hands fell to your hips, pulling you in closer and technically he was right, the large pastry case and stack of boxes that you had yet to be able to put away had blocked a significant amount of view of where you two stood, someone would have had to come around the corner to see you two if they really wanted to.

A clear of someone's throat caused the two of you to pull away from the giddy bubble you were in. Your annoyance flooded back in a second while Jake lazily looked over his shoulder, his eyes lighting up taking note of Minjun who stood with a dark expression.

"What's up man?" Jake smiled, turning as he said so but still keeping one arm draped around your waist though you shifted slightly in your spot. His grip tightened feeling how you attempted to move, squeezing your hip as a silent way to tell you to stay in place at his side. "You need something?"

"Can you give us a minute?" Minjun's words were short and clipped, the visible annoyance dripping from his persona.

"Don't think so," He hummed with the click of his tongue. "M'names Jake," Holding out his hand with a cheeky smile, Jake waited for Minjun to introduce himself. You had to refrain from the laugh that wanted to spill from your lips, the obviously annoying but polite tactic one you wouldn't have guessed he'd play but it seemed to work better than being possessive or immediately hostile.

"Minjun," Was all he replied with, not bothering to complete the handshake Jake intended. Turning his gaze to you, he near pleaded in a softer tone. "Can we just talk?"

Jake let out a loud sigh, dropping his hand with the shake of his head. "You know, man, I wouldn't have held nothing against you but you're really making my girl uncomfortable," His previous bubbly expression was gone, now replaced with a bored one that shamelessly glanced over Minjun. "You know me personally, I don't go for girls I broke up with, especially after she told me to leave her alone and she has a new man. That's just me though,"

"No offense man, but I know you two just got together. Your new relationship doesn't compare to us," Minjun shrugs while you let out a laugh of disbelief. You and Jake were more comfortable together, by miles, in a short amount of time even if your relationship was based on a facade. After the first two months with Minjun, it felt as though you were walking on eggshells everyday to keep him around, a feeling you remember all too well and ridicule yourself for staying in for so long.

"I mean, you're the ex for a reason right? Our relationship s’not supposed to be like yours," Jake shrugs, a humorless laugh left his lips.

"You guys don't even make sense together!" Minjun was now speaking to you, gesturing between you both with an exasperated expression. "His life is completely different from yours and you know it, why waste time now when it won't even work out,"

You frowned yours brows, not knowing how much he had looked into Jake but either way, being so ambient on your differences seemed to rub you the wrong way. What exactly was he entailing? The fact that Jake was a party guy or he was rich? You grew up attached to the hip with Jay, sure you weren't directly apart of that life but you did know how to act with a cocktail dress and dinning etiquette when you needed to. You truly lacked nothing if the relationship was real and so far, Jake didn't either.

"It's cute to know you've been thinking about me," Before you were able to voice your thoughts, Jake beat you to it. His tone was teasing, though there was a slight edge to it indicating that the cat and mouse play going back and forth was something he began to grow tired of. His had squeezed your hip, somehow subconsciously knowing that your agitation grew as well, it a silent reminder that he was there for you.

Minjun scoffed, seemingly ready to retort but Jake shook his head. "You know, I don't really like being a dick and all," He starts, a small huff of air leaving his lips as if it pained him to continue. Jake's eyes flickered to you, he winked before the bored look was sent back toward Minjun. "But I do take advantage of the benefits that come from my family. Let's just make it easier on all of us since getting the lawyers involved is always so messy, yeah?"

Your eyes widened slightly, certainly not having any thought of any legal precedent but the threat should've been more than enough to get his point across. You felt a shiver run up your spine, thinking back to weeks ago when you got yourself into the situation you were now. She totally would've sued me.

There was a clear of the throat that broke the tension between you three. Ni-ki making his presence known as he sends Minjun a rather large, but most obviously fake, smile.

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave since I've had a few customer complaints from the situation that's occurring," He says in his peppy customer service voice, the faux sympathy in his tone adding salt to the wound. Looking around, you take note of the lie considering the lobby had cleared out significantly and not a single person in sight was paying any mind to what was occurring in the corner but you were certainly thankful for the deescalation.

Minjun doesn't say a word. His eyes lock with yours, the silent communication causing you to feel uneasy. For a split second, you almost felt bad for him seeing the look of pleading sincerity, for a second he seemed like the boy you once knew and you couldn't deny the slight tug in your heart that longed for the past. But as Jakes’ hand made its presences know on your back, you shook out of the temporary daze, you subtly moved behind him, using Jake as a shield of sorts and looking away.

You weren't naive enough to fall for that. And your thoughts proved right as Minjun's expression changed in an instant, the look of anger and annoyance familiar but he merely turned and made his way out of the shop without hesitation.

The bitter feeling caused your stomach to turn, picking at the skin of your fingers as you pulled out your phone to check the time.

"You okay noona?" Ni-ki carefully asked, His brows were pinched, a slight frown at his lips taking note of your visibly discomfort.

You nod, placing a smile on your features but it didn't quite reach your eyes. You looked behind him, seeing Sooyun working by herself. "I'm alright, I need to finish my pull before Hejin comes in so support where you can for now," You delegate, already heading toward the back room while footsteps followed soon after.

Jake sighed watching you walk away. He didn't know the full story, certainly didn't want to know the details of how in love you were, but he did know that Minjun was important enough to still bother you after some time apart. A small part of him was selfish, never wanting you to think of anyone like that but him, even though your relationship wasn't even real in the first place, but he knew that was his own jealousy.

The larger part of him felt upset for you though, the crestfallen expression you held more than enough for him to want to hold you and wash all your worries away. In a perfect world, Jake would make sure you'd never feel sad again. He vows to never be the one responsible for your tears, and if he were he'd kick himself and beg for the room in your heart to forgive him.

You stopped by the back freezer, facing the stainless steel doors and you could see Jake's reflection behind you. "I'm alright," You repeat, not having the confidence to turn around knowing your eyes were glossing over and the lump in your throat grew.

Jake hummed, watching you from afar. He watched as you began to count the frozen pastries, having to go over twice losing your train of thought and seemingly looking around aimlessly. You let out a sigh, leaning your head against the frozen rack as you shut your eyes, the cold air that wrapped around your body caused goosebumps to form along your arms, though it did well in stopping the tears that were built up to the brim.

"You know, you're technically not supposed to be back here," You mumble, a hint of amusement in your words though you were rather dejected.

Jake chuckled, shaking his head while you couldn't see it. The two of you stood in silence, not knowing what to say that would make it better. Heavy footsteps sounded as someone entered the back of the house, you peaking from behind the freezer door while Jake straightened up.

Hejin pointed a finger at you as she pulled her apron over her head. Your brows frowned, clicking on the tablet that was stuck to the door to see it only be 5:50. Her keys jangled in her pocket, the lollipop in her mouth muffling her words. "Go home,"

"What?" You let out a small laugh, amused by the loud groan she let out upon her apron getting stuck while pulling it down. "It's not 6:30,"

"I'm here now so go," Hejin huffs, pulling at her ponytail as she nods towards Jake, a silent acknowledgment to his presence but not bothering to ask why he was beside you. "I saw creeps-a-lot in the parking lot. The kid and Sooyun were blowing up my phone to get me here so I chased him away. Go home and relax, I'll make a incident report to let everyone and Mama Cho know to not talk about you and refuse him service from now on,"

Your lips pull into a frown, the tears once again welding up in your eyes. You covered your face out of embarrassment, Hejin clicking her tongue as she waved you off.

"Ay, don't cry," She tuts. "He's not worth it, new boyfriend hug her!" Hejin directs, gesturing between you and Jake causing you to let out a laugh. Jake tilted his head, his arms open as you reluctantly stepped into his embrace. You refused to look at him directly, hiding behind your hands though you could see the fondness in his expression as he stared down at you. "Good, now get out of here. Pretty girls should never cry over ugly men,"

With that, Hejin was out onto the floor. You stifled your laughter, heart pulling at the thought of your work family. She, in particular, was known to be rough around the edges, not one to show praise or direct affection but small acts like these were truly the most meaningful. You made a mental note to treat them in the future, thankful for the saving grace.

Jake pulled away from the hug slight, a small smile perking at his lips as he tilted his head. He gently pulled away your hands from your face, wiping away the few stray tears with the same fond look.

"You know, I don't know how to feel about you crying over another man," He teased causing you to roll your eyes. "Guess I have a lot of work to do to make you forgive him,"

"Forgive?" You echo, raising a brow not following his words.

Jake nods. "You know, for being an idiot but at least it allowed for me and you which is like, a million times better," He says in the most obvious voice causing you to snicker. "Forgive but not forget, or whatever it is that people say,"

"Have you been looking at pinterest quotes?" You laugh while Jake begins to nod wholeheartedly.

"You put me on, it's honestly so chill scrolling. I have like, five different boards I've made so far,"

"Rookie numbers," You tease causing him to mock offense.

"They all have certain aesthetics and are listed in order," He offers causing you to hum.

You nod in approval. "Better,"

Noting that your mood had seem to raise, Jake leans in, placing a small peck to the tip of your nose causing you to let out a small squeal. Your face scrunches up, pulling away from him while he lets out a laugh.

"C'mon, you owe me your time and I think I have the perfect idea to get your pretty little mind off everything,"

"YOU’RE JOKING?"

"What?"

You sent Jake a pointed look, smiling down at the excited animal that jumped into your arms, licking the skin of your cheek while your heart nearly bursted at the sight of her tail wagging so happily. "We've been faking it for over a month and you decided to just tell me you had a dog?"

"Her name's Layla," He laughs, crouching down to the level which you were sat on the floor. As soon as you walked into the door of the unfamiliar apartment, you were greeted by soft paws jumping at your leg along with excited barks for attention. "This is my brother's place, she's a family dog but he has her most of the time since my parents are always out of town. He's on a trip with his friends so he asked me to watch her for the week," Jake cooed as he pet Laylas fur, eyes full of affection and love as she leaned into his touch.

“I’ll watch her for the week,” You smile, gaining her attention once more as you scratched at the spot just behind Laylas’ ears. Her eyes shut as you did so, a small giggle leaving your lips as the dog visibly relaxed to your petting. “I’ll keep her company while you party or whatever you do in that frat house,”

Jake rolled his eyes, his view set on you but you were far too focused on Layla to care. “I haven’t gone to a party in weeks, and if I do you’re with me,” He says pointedly as you merely hum.

“Exactly, you can go do what you want. I’ll stay here with the cutest little puppy I’ve ever seen,” The latter half of your sentence was spoken in a high voice, cooing at Layla who seemed to be happily responsive to it.

Though he liked seeing how well you got along with his childhood pet, Jake tsked. Maybe it was a bad idea bringing you to see her, all of your attention would go to the little border collie instead of him which, admittedly, he couldn’t have.

“What I want,” Jake starts, leaning over to flood your view. “Is for you to not love my dog more than me,” He finished, dangerous close to your lips as you blinked, a small snort leaving your lips.

“Well for one, I barely tolerate you so Layla wins by a long shot,” You tease causing his lips to pout. Lightly pushing Jake away, he ends up sitting directly in front of you, Layla happily pouncing into his lap but still begging for you to provide her with scratches as she rolled over onto her back to expose her stomach. “And two, you can’t be jealous over your own dog. She’s just too cute,”

Jake sighed half heartedly. “You kicking me to the curb now for my dog?”

“Precisely,” You nod, a wide grin playing at your lips that you were unable to resist. It was still between the two of you for a moment, Jake taking the silence to gently place Layla down onto the ground beside you. You rose a brow, noting how he inched closer causing you to move back. “Hey~”

His arms were suddenly thrown around your body, one around your waist while the other was behind your head, blocking the impact of him suddenly tackling you to the hardwood floor. Your laughter filled the air, arms stuck under the weight of his chest and your faces inches apart.

“Too bad, you’re not allowed to get rid of me,” Jake huffs though there was an amused smile playing at his lips. “Say you like me more,”

You gaped in disbelief. “Are you serious?” The response to your question ended up with Jake’s fingers dancing along the skin of your waist, your shirt riding up and him knowing how ticklish you were as you began to squirm beneath him. “H-hey! Okay, s-stop—”

“Say it,” Jake taunts, his laughter mixing with yours.

“O-okay—”

Layla’s loud barks suddenly broke the air before the view of her jumping onto Jake’s head was seen. Your laughs were now from seeing how he yelped at the sudden help you received, rolling off of your body and with Layla still attacking his face with an abundance of kisses, you sat up. Now straddling Jake’s waist, you returned the favor of poking your fingers into his side, moving until you found a spot by his ribs that caused him to squirm around.

“Hey! You can’t team up against me,” Jake called out, unable to move either of you due to the way you sat and how Layla was now perched on his chest to get a better angle of sloppy kisses that he attempted to block. “She’s trying to lick my nose! Baby please—”

“What? I’m giving you attention like you wanted,”

my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @enczen @vanvity @dreamiestay @caitysdelusions @ikkeumyluv @v3lv3tsin

[eternal-ascensionism]

Song Fic maybe???

Hii! I have a request for you, its a Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader idea with the song "Love Again" by Dua Lipa. Where maybe reader has been through some tough/ toxic relationships and swears off of romance once they joined the avengers but then when Bucky returns from Wakanda the reader begins to develope a crush on Bucky as he flirts with them after having a crush on her from the moment he met them. Maybe the reader thoughts align with the lyrics of the song and in the end the reader lets their heart open and starts dating Bucky after he knocks down all of thier walls :) (Also reader can be female or GN and I tried to give you some like guide but didn't want to restrict you!) Hope you have a good day :D

Ok first anon I love you sm for puttin me on this song it BANGS and I love this idea sm!!!

This is technically more like avengers assistant!reader because I suck at finding cohesive ways to fit an original character into the avengers team ((I have tried since I was 16 LMAO)) but hopefully it still works! Hope you enjoy!

Heaven’s Right Here, Baby 

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Themes: Angst, comfort, fluff

Warnings:Angst; discussions of: war, PTSD, abusive relationships, trauma bonding, etc. (if you pick up on any I’ve missed pleeease let me know!!)

💗

I glance upward as I hear the rumble above, eyes squinting against the sun’s rays. For some unknown reason, I’d been expecting some grand aircraft; a sleek jet or maybe one of the large helicarriers I’d seen in the hangar back at the Avengers’ HQ when I first arrived. What I was met with was a rather modest plane I’d estimate could fit ten passengers at best. It didn’t really matter, I knew the man aboard couldn’t care less about materialism or prestige. Still, he was one of our team’s brightest and most respected members. It simply felt odd to receive him back via such underwhelming conditions. 

Up until this point, I’d only ever worked basic civilian jobs or the occasional temp gig. However after a particularly traumatic breakup, I’d decided that being miserable and barely living above the poverty line wasn’t cutting it anymore. It took a good few years and a considerable amount of ass kissing, but I eventually got offered a role as an assistant of sorts for Nick Fury in New York City.

Natasha was the first person I’d found myself bonding with; the first night I’d spent in the tower was a long one, and she had spent a large chunk of it comforting me by making me laugh with her Captain America impression. Funnily enough, I’d meet Steve Rogers the next morning in the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen and shook my hand, exchanging names and pleasantries with me as the rest of the team filtered in. I watched anxiously as they all began to dig into the food; I couldn’t pinpoint why, but I found myself desperate to impress each of my new coworkers.

Introductions were made, meals were finished, and I beamed at the compliments toward my cooking. To my surprise the conversations seemed to flow naturally. I couldn’t help but linger on one man in particular, though. His metal arm gleamed brilliantly in the lighting of the spacious dining area. He was a man of few words. Bucky, they called him. The next month consisted of me making a fool of myself through several missions, distracted each time by that smolder and the tortured look behind his eyes. It was a look I knew all too well. Still, I didn’t dare approach sergeant Barnes out of fear. Whether it be fear of authority or my lingering fear of men, I wasn’t sure. Didn’t make much difference; the less interactions, the better. The last thing I needed was to get in over my head during what’s meant to be my fresh start.

Today was his return from the last stage of a program for training and rehab that began long before I came into the picture. From what I understood, it all began a few years back when the late King T’Challa harbored Bucky; partly as a favor to Steve, and partly out of respect for the sergeant. He saw James Buchanan Barnes beyond the outgrown hair and the guarded demeanor. He saw someone worth fighting to save. By the time I’d arrived, his reserved nature had let up a bit. We both exhibit similar acts such as hypervigilance, but I suppose that’ll always remain in some small way. We’re part of the team tasked with ensuring the safety of earth, after all.

I wave a hand to Bucky as he steps off the walkway, a bag slung over his shoulder. When he sees me and the team, he shoots us a small grin. It wasn’t until he made it halfway across the asphalt that I registered the changes of his left arm. The once scuffed and faded titanium had been replaced with a new, higher quality gold and silver prosthetic.

“Vibranium,” Bucky offers, having picked up on my stare. “Shuri helped me.”

I felt a pang in my chest as he looked at it proudly. It was the same ache I’d gotten every time I’d bore witness to sergeant Barnes letting pieces of his real self shine through. I could try and lie to myself, but I’m grown. I know what it means to have feelings for someone. As much as I’d fought to stay neutral from the beginning, something about Bucky had always pulled at my heart. I would never let him know, but he’d melted some part of me that I’d spent years freezing out. Still, I’d vowed to keep to the professional relationship I’ve created with the former soldier. I couldn’t risk letting something like random feelings of fondness jeopardize my job. I am here to help others and to run away from my demons, nothing more and nothing less.

-

“I never thought that I would find a way out, I never thought I’d hear my heart beat so loud. I can’t believe there’s something left in my chest anymore”

-

Upon our entry to the tower, we were met by the quiet humming of music. Puzzled, we all made our way to the lounge area where we found Tony behind the bar in the corner. He raised a glass of amber-colored liquid in our direction as a greeting. “Welcome back, Barnes. Dig the new scrap pieces.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and pointed to the speakers built into the tall ceiling overhead. “Thanks. What’s with the music?” Swinging around the bar to stand in front of us, Tony smirked.

“What? Can’t we have a little homecoming celebration? We missed you, bud.” Before he could reply, Natasha interjected, grabbing Tony’s free hand.

“In that case, let’s dance. You’ve only got six months before your wedding and Pepper is gonna kill you if you step on her white heels.”

I watch in glee as Nat drags Tony away to the open space near the couch to practice his moves for the big day. Everyone branched off into pairs, leaving me standing at the bar with a can of soda while Bucky perched on the arm of the recliner. These little moments of joy made being alive less painful each day. I continued observing my teammates for a while before hearing someone clear their throat from beside me. “Wanna dance, doll?”

The low timbre gave him away without so much as a sideways glance. It was sergeant Barnes. Asking me to dance. With him. Ignoring the cold sensation shooting through my veins, I threw him a smile and nodded. Offering me a hand, we make our way over to the spot where the others are swaying to the crooning of an early 1900s love song. With the way Bucky and Steve perked up as it came on, I’d be willing to bet they were grooving to it back in the days of its first release. The thought warms my heart, and I risk placing my head on Bucky’s shoulder as we let the music guide us. Maybe trusting him for one dance wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it’s okay to let my guard down just this once.

-

“I never knew I had it in me to dance anymore, but god damn, you’ve got me in love again.”

-

Love. That’s what it was. I hated to admit it to myself, it scared me to the point of lost sleep and vomiting, quite frankly. But I couldn’t bear pretending any more. Bucky had been back in New York for all of two weeks before we started being sent on missions together to gather intel on a potential threat. I didn’t know the details, they only ever told me what was absolutely necessary to carry out a job. They explained it was so that if I were to be caught, I could play dumb as a simple civilian caught up in bigger matters on accident. You never know what tactics someone may have to pull the truth from you, but there’s nothing to be extracted if I truly know nothing. However, at the current moment, I wished for little more than to be pulled from this room and dragged elsewhere. I tear my eyes from my debrief notes to stare back at the disheveled man sat across from me. I had yet to fully process what he asked.

“What?” His frown deepens, and I almost regret asking him to repeat himself.

“Do you think I’m someone you could love?”

I was completely taken aback. Sure, the sergeant and I had some pretty deep conversations in the past. We weren’t incredibly close before his return, both of us being highly traumatized and reserved people; but pair long missions with hours spent staring off into the night watching for movement and we had begun to fill the void. He relayed stories of war and torture, and I recounted memories of toxic relationships and a traumatic childhood. It only seemed natural that we eventually progressed into becoming each other’s confidant over the last few months. When we accepted the latest task I expected us to exchange banter, maybe make up some new inside jokes. I didn’t expect it to devolve into a raw and emotional conversation about our past hurts and shortcomings. Bucky had opened up about the women he’d met before the war, branching off into a story where he’d tried to make something work with a woman he’d met briefly in Romania before he’d had to go back on the run. I could see the pain in his expression, I could hear the slight waver in his voice as he tried making sense of where he’d gone wrong in life to deserve it all.

Then he looked up at me, those big grey-blue eyes shining with unshed tears, and he asked me the one question that I know will change everything. Is he someone I could love? When he asked, I realized I already know the answer. I already know I love him.

“Yes.” He blinks at me, seemingly in shock, but I just continue. “I don’t have to think about it, Buck. I love you because you are worthy of being loved. I love you because you are inherently lovable. I love how you care about people, I love how you fight fiercely to protect them. I love how intelligent you are, and how you never use that against others. I love how you make me feel safe. I love how you’ve never given me a reason to question your motives like all the other men I’ve let into my life. I love you, and I didn’t even think I could love again.” I dabbed my sleeve over the wetness pooling under my eyes, chuckling at my own intense reaction. Discussing my feelings was never easy, but it just came naturally with Bucky.

Two hands came up to hold my cheeks as Bucky looked at my face, perhaps studying me for any sign of deceit or sarcasm. I meant every word, though. He wrapped me up in a tight hug, and after he pulled back, I felt a sudden confidence. I leaned in and pressed a soft peck to his stubble-covered cheek, delighting in the light red tint that washed over his face.

“I love you too, doll. I didn’t wanna scare you away, you mean the world to me. Just didn’t imagine you’d feel the same. Not that I’d blame you, with what you’ve told me about the others I wouldn’t blame ya if you never spoke to a man again.” Bucky laid a gentle kiss to the back of my hand that still rested in his. “Honored to be the one you trust.”

“Never have I ever met somebody like you, used to be afraid of love and what it might do. But god damn, you’ve got me in love again”

—!—

HELLO I REALLY HOPE THIS WAS WHAT YOU WANTED! I’m sorry it took me so long to finish I kept branching off with different ideas before settling on one cohesive concept and hopefully I did a decent job following your prompt! Thank you sooo much for the request this was super fun to write and honestly kickstarted my productivity which has been in the shitter since like pre 2020 lmao bless you guys <333

[thebroccolination]

THE WAY KRIST INCLUDES WOMEN

[left: Krist and Namtan; right: Krist and his sister]

Once, my friend had the opportunity to work with a singer from a group I used to follow. When the project was done, I asked my friend what she thought of him, and she said, “He’s fine,” but I could tell something about the experience bothered her. After a few minutes of talking about the job itself, she said, “You know what it was about him? He doesn’t care about women. Like, he wasn’t rude to me or anything. He didn’t say anything negative about women, and he didn’t treat any woman on the project poorly that I saw. He just doesn’t think about us. At all. Whenever I met with him to discuss the project, or whenever we’d have small talk about culture or society or whatever, it just became abundantly clear that his whole life and worldview is very male-centric. I’m used to men being openly patronizing or downright malicious, and like, this guy’s whole career has been female-facing, so I went into those interactions expecting him to be either extremely cool with women or a total misogynist. But nah. He’s just, y’know. A man who doesn’t include women in his world. Other than that, he’s fine.”

I thought about that for the rest of the week. I’d been a fan of this guy’s group for years, and his group had been all men in a company of all men. He’d been on TV shows with women, of course, and I remember him being friendly with some former costars, but all the people I knew from his inner circle were, in fact, men. I was in my late twenties at the time, and I remember thinking, “There’s something inherently odd and exploitative about famous men who make their career off the money and support of women but don’t include women in their personal lives.”

It’s something I’ve paid attention to ever since. When I became a fan of Boun, for example, I noticed that he has female friends from university, and that he was extremely protective of all the girls in Wabi Sabi, which made me feel confident that he was a good egg. By that same token, I’ve also noticed when other actors are predominantly friends with men, and when they only seem to view women as support systems or sources of personal validation.

Krist is just…comfortable with women. And more importantly, women are comfortable with Krist.

[Krist and Mook]

Back in 2020, I noticed two things about Krist regarding women: 1) he had a crush on Namtan (don’t we all), and 2) after SOTUS, GMMTV steered Krist away from BL to star in lakorns opposite women.

That was fairly standard. Just a famous dude existing around women for work. No red flags, no green.

What I noticed over time is that Krist is still close with a lot of the women he worked with, and that his inner circle includes women.

And when I say those women are comfortable with him, I mean that not just in a, “He’s fine,” sort of sense. They’re comfortable goofing around with him, being physically close to him, and hanging out with him. They speak highly of his character, about how he treats them as a senior, a junior, a coworker.

[left: Krist and Mook; right: Aye with Krist and Gawin]

Last year, Aye went so far as to say that in all of GMMTV, she felt closest to Krist and Gawin partly because they made her experience making Be My Favorite so warm and comfortable when usually these male-oriented productions can alienate the women involved. She’d also worked with Krist before, and she said she feels completely at ease with him.

The work part I had backed up recently by a woman my friend spoke to: she said Krist goes out of his way to include every single person involved in a production. Not just the actors, but the crew and the staff as well. Rather than form a small clique with the people he already knows, Krist makes everyone feel like they’re in his clique. He treated everyone with respect regardless of age, gender, or role in the production.

[left: Krist and Godji; center: Godji’s birthday message to Krist; right: Jennie’s birthday message to Krist]

He’s famously devoted to his mothers, both his industry mother Godji who’s been looking out for him for years, and his birth mother pictured below from an episode of ArmShare (with English subtitles) in which Arm features Krist’s mother and shows how lovely and supportive their relationship is.

In the late 90s and early 00s, Krist’s family went into debt, and he took thankless jobs in university to try and help them out of it. The success of SOTUS is what got his family all the way into the green, and to this day Krist freely gives his parents access to the money he makes so they can live a better life. They still work (his mother’s office is pictured above), but because of Krist, they’re able to relax into their older age.

He’s also been actively protective of MilkLove over the past several months. When he interviewed them for Livehouse, they were noticeably open and confident in their answers. And yesterday, when MilkLove, KristSingto, and JoongDunk arrived in Singapore for their fan meetings today, the chaos in the airport created some genuine panic among security and the artists themselves.

In the video, you’ll see a man in a red shirt who was dogging MilkLove with his phone stretched out to capture himself with them. Krist, in gray, stretched his arm out to shield them from him. He and Singto did their best among the madness to protect MilkLove from the overzealous fans and from the confused security guard who pushed Milk out of the way thinking she was a fan, too.

Surging crowds like that are terrifying enough for anyone, but especially for women when they’re being actively pursued by larger men with no respect for their physical space. Krist and Singto both understand from personal experience how wild these situations can get, and I’m relieved they were both so quick to act for MilkLove’s safety.

I thought I must’ve made a thread or a post about this before, but I only really mentioned it once in a tweet a few months ago, so after this incident with MilkLove, I decided to zero in on one of my favorite things about him. Because these days, it’s not enough for me that a man is neutral about women. For me to support any man’s career, he has to be actively kind, actively supportive, and actively sharp with the men who aren’t.

The days of neutrality as the standard are firmly in the past, and it’s important to hold expectations for men high—especially famous men.

[voraciousvore]

Voretober Day 19: Takeout

Day 1 | Previous (18) | Next (20)

Content Warning: NSFW/18+! Sexual content, M/m g/t soft fatal vore, unwilling to willing (I was in a hell of a mood writing this lol)

Word Count: 3.4k

Author's Note: This oneshot can be read with no context. However, if you're familiar with my stories, Connie is the tiny businessman that almost gets eaten by Chester in this chapter of The Half-Blood Giant.

------ Takeout ------

Connie hated everything. He worked at a Chinese restaurant doing takeout deliveries, and he hated his job. He hated the smell of fried food and soy sauce that permeated the whole joint. He hated the garish paint colors on the cracked walls. He hated his stupid frumpy uniform. He hated his boss. He hated rude, demanding customers. He hated being forced to put on a fake smile and socialize with people. His hated what his life had become. 

His old job had been decent, before this hell had taken over his existence. Before, he’d worked at a boring white-collar desk job, where he didn’t have to be on his feet all day. It was perfect, except for one critical flaw: The job was located on the large side of the city, where the giants lived. 

Connie hated giants—though he hadn’t initially. He’d been strangely fascinated with them, despite the nagging undercurrent of instinctive fear that never left him while in their presence. They seemed to be just like humans, yet so much larger, so much grander. He had even developed a certain... fondness for a particular giant at his work, one that was handsome and gentle and kind and knew to move and speak softly around humans. 

Unfortunately, this gorgeous specimen of a giant man already belonged to another, a human woman no less. The jealousy and resentment Connie felt as a result poisoned any enjoyment he had for his job. He became grumpy and bitter as he was forced every day to watch his crush fawn over another, yearning to possess what he couldn’t have. The last straw came when, on his way home after a late night of overtime, a random giant snatched him up off the sidewalk and nearly devoured him. He miraculously survived the encounter, but he was done with dealing with giants. He quit and refused to return to the large side of the city. 

Regrettably, the small side where the humans resided was hardly fertile in regards to employment opportunities. Connie couldn’t find another cushy job like his old one, so he was forced to scrounge for whatever employer would take him. His financial reserves diminished, to the point where he had no choice but to sell his car and move into a roach-infested apartment, uncomfortably close to the gigantic barrier that divided the giants from the humans. 

So that’s how he found himself working as a delivery driver at a sketchy Chinese restaurant on the bad side of town. He didn’t even have his car anymore, and his employer didn’t provide him with one, so he had to ride a stupid crusty bike with a big basket on the back to carry the orders. By the end of his shift, he always came home greasy and sweaty and tired. He hated being dirty. 

Tonight, he was working the late shift. Business was slow, which was bad for Connie despite less work. Fewer orders meant fewer tips. The phone rang, and he watched with a vacant expression as his bored coworker answered with her dumb fake customer service voice. Her expression changed to one of confusion.  

“I’m sorry, did you say forty?” She wrote the order down on a slip, along with an address, and processed the payment. “Very well, sir. It’ll probably be around thirty minutes.” She hung up the phone with a pinched face. 

“Delivery?” Connie asked as she handed off the order to the kitchen. 

“Yeah… but it was a really weird order. 40 servings of fried rice with zero entrees. I’ve never heard of such a thing.” 

“Huh? Let me see that.” Connie grabbed the slip and checked the address. The street looked vaguely familiar, so he searched the location on his phone. His heart sank as his suspicions were confirmed. “Swift Street… that’s on the large side, isn’t it? Why would a giant order from a human restaurant?” 

His coworker shrugged, indifferent to Connie’s rising concern. “Fuck if I know. Either way, the guy paid, so you gotta deliver it.” 

Connie wanted to protest, but the words died on his lips as his boss glared at him from across the room. He didn’t want to get fired; he desperately needed the money if he was ever going to pull himself out of this hole. He shut his mouth, debating what to do as he observed the cooks frying up pans of rice and stuffing them in countless takeout boxes. He tried to quell his rising anxiety as he stacked the boxes high in his bike basket. His instincts were screaming at him to refuse, as he was reminded of unpleasant past encounters, but he felt trapped. 

“The tip for this job better be good,” he grunted as he decisively mounted his bike. He rode down the street, feeling like a stupid teenager on his stupid bike. He navigated the roads, past the occasional car, until he reached the railway station to cross the barrier. 

He used to board these railcars every day for his old commute. The automatic door slid open to an empty car, as untouched and pristine as he remembered, and he piled in with his bike. The door whooshed shut and the car rocketed away at a blistering pace. Connie felt the track drop like a roller coaster, along with his stomach, as the car shot down underground below the barrier before racing back up to the surface, to the opposite side. 

He couldn’t see much outside, since it was dark in comparison to the lit interior. Humungous silhouettes and shadows blocked out the distant glowing orbs of massive streetlights high in the sky. He felt sickness and fear clawing up his throat, restricting his breathing. He wanted to flee, but he was encased in steel and glass. He gripped the handlebars of his bike with clammy hands. 

All too soon, he arrived at his stop. He hesitated before stepping out of the railcar into the human-sized station, which was covered by an awning that concealed him from the giant world beyond. The car raced away, and Connie was alone. His heart rattled his ribs with frantic hammering and bile rose into his mouth, but he forced it back down. He was here now; no going back. 

A terrifying memory coursed through him, of his last night in the giant city. Walking alone, through a quiet evening just like this, briefcase in hand, before titanic fingers closed around him in a painful pinch. Thundering footsteps that thudded through him, a yawning maw below that threatened to send him to an acidic grave. He shuddered hard. The giant had, by some incredible stroke of fate, stopped before eating him, and apologized for losing control of his cravings, but Connie had been forever scarred by the traumatic ordeal. He’d had nightmares for weeks about it.  

Nightmares, that strangely enough had turned to sick fantasies. He’d dreamed about his giant crush doing the same thing, dropping him into his cavernous mouth and swallowing him whole, and he’d woken up covered in hot sweat and hard as a rock. He couldn’t understand the conflicting feelings that had awakened in him, of terrible fear and forbidden desire, a perverse thirst for impossible thrill and danger. Yet, in his waking hours when he was more rational, he’d been too scared to return to his desk job. He felt like a coward—a lowly, pathetic, disgruntled coward. 

He didn’t like that sentiment, not at all. He took a deep breath, hopped on his bike, and sped off into the night. The cool air rushed past his feverish skin as he pedaled like his life depended on it. He could only hope, in the vast streets, he would be too small to be noticed. He was grateful at least to be on a fast-moving bike instead of on foot, though he had to question if he’d be fast enough to outrun a giant predator. Probably not. 

Fortunately, the streets were mostly deserted due to the late hour. Connie was jittery and on edge, keeping to the shadows as best he could. The chirps of giant crickets, instead of providing a soothing ambience, sounded too loud to his ears. He nearly had a heart attack as a massive beast of a bug hopped in front of his path like a deer. He skirted around it and kept moving.  

He jumped his bike over sizeable cracks in the sidewalk and crossed enormous rocky stretches of asphalt and rough pavement, a challenge that absorbed a significant chunk of focus. Even so, he monitored his surroundings with obsessive attentiveness. In every looming shape he saw an eldritch horror, just waiting to emerge from the darkness and snatch him up. 

The threatening growl of an oncoming vehicle, heralded by distant beams of headlights, sent Connie into a panic. He hauled his bike into a patch of weeds as the mammoth metal monster roared past, blowing the tall grass in a terrible bluster. Connie hugged his arms around his bike as he hauled it back to the sidewalk, his heart racing. The red taillights of the giant vehicle turned around a distant corner, leaving him in an eerily quiet stretch of road. Giant houses rose up like silent sentinels miles into the sky, looking down on him. A bead of sweat rolled down his spine as he mounted his bike again. He couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. 

After what felt like an eternity of biking, Connie reached the correct house. He rode up to the porch, on an expansive sidewalk that cut through two fields of tall grass that comprised the front lawn. He stopped, unsure how to proceed. The wooden stairs were too tall for him to climb, each one being easily triple his height. Even if he made it to the towering door, there was no chance in hell he’d be able to ring the bell. Far above him, he saw the flutter of the curtains in the window. His breath caught in his chest. 

Connie hadn’t interacted with giants in a while, since he sought to avoid them at all costs. Even with the reminder of the megalithic buildings all around him, he wasn’t ready for the impossible scale of the colossal man that opened the door out of his reach. He nearly fainted at the sight: a fat, hairy, gargantuan giant, with a prominent belly hanging out from a sweat-stained discolored tank top that was too small to conceal it. He had a face like a bulldog, with unkempt dark hair, a scraggly mustache, and whiskers on his chin and neck too sparse to call a beard. Huge shoes plodded on the porch platform, creaking the wood under the giant’s prodigious weight. He breathed heavily as he descended from the steps down to the cement, rumbling the ground beneath him enough to rattle the basket on Connie’s bike. 

Connie gaped up, speechless, pinned in place like a bug in a display case. The giant scratched his belly and grunted. As he examined the tiny man at his feet, his lips twisted into a sinister smile, exposing large crooked teeth. Connie let out an involuntary whimper. The handlebars of his bike slid through his fingers and it crashed to the ground, dropping takeout boxes full of rice all over the pavement. 

The giant frowned, and Connie panicked. He turned tail and fled like a frightened rabbit. He got to the end of the square of sidewalk before a thick pair of fingers pinched the back of his shirt and lifted him clean off the ground. Connie yelped as he saw the ground plummet below him in a sickening rush of vertigo. Cold sweat bled from his pores as a pair of huge dark eyes hovered before him with a menacing glare. A pudgy finger, thicker around than his entire body, poked at him with curiosity. 

“Hmmm,” the giant rumbled. “I thought you’d be bigger.” 

“H-huh?” Connie stuttered with confusion. “No, no, I’m a human, you ordered from a human restaurant... you must’ve made a mistake...” 

The enormous man didn’t acknowledge his words and continued to speak. “And those limbs of yours are so scrawny. Hardly any meat on ’em.” The giant plucked at his chin hairs. “Ah well. You’ll do, I suppose.” 

“E-excuse me?” Connie sputtered. The giant didn’t respond, instead bending over to retrieve the diminutive bike with the rice boxes, scooping everything up into a spacious palm. He huffed with substantial lungs as he straightened back up and lumbered into his house. Connie felt sick as he dangled precariously from the giant's grip, the world swimming before his eyes. He was deeply unsettled, being so high up, even more so with where he was being carried. “H-hey, wait a second, where are you taking me? P-put me down!”  

The giant persisted in ignoring him as he shut the door behind him. Connie was electrified with fear. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He didn’t dare to think what this giant man had planned for him, but it couldn’t be anything good. The giant trudged into a huge kitchen space, though it felt cramped with his hulking girth filling the space. He held up the bike and gazed at it for a moment, spinning the back wheel with the tip of his finger as if it were a child’s toy, before setting it aside. He opened a cupboard and extracted an immense dinner plate, placing it on the countertop with a dull clatter. He began to methodically crush the boxes of rice between his digits over the plate, releasing their contents and casting the packaging into the garbage. 

“P-p-please, Mr. Giant, let me go. You don’t have to give me a tip or anything. I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again,” Connie pleaded, his voice rising in pitch as terror shot through him. “I apologize for dropping the food, I didn’t mean to anger you-” 

“Shut up,” the giant boomed with mild irritation. Connie clammed up, still trembling uncontrollably. His teeth chattered in his skull as the multitudes of rice orders produced a pile that still looked small on the oversized plate. Connie yelped with fright as the giant unexpectedly raised him up and tore at his clothes, stripping them off with a single tug of his goliath fingers. He plunked the tiny man, stark naked, onto the plate. 

Connie jumped to his feet, but was flicked back down with a finger that felt like a sledgehammer on his back. He made another attempt, only to fall over as the plate was lifted beneath him. He bounced up and down on the plate as it rocked with every stride of the giant, until the plate landed on an extensive dinner table. The giant seated himself, looming over poor Connie with his bulging fat pecs at the human’s eye level. 

“Nooooo,” Connie moaned, comprehending his fate. He realized that escape was impossible, and running from such a titanic being would be futile. No matter what, he was going to die. He flinched as the giant raised his thick arm above him, and a dark liquid splashed all over him and the bed of rice. The strong odor of soy sauce smacked his nose. 

“You’ll do for a snack, I suppose,” the giant growled, thudding his arm back on the table with a crash. Connie jolted, but the panic coursing through his blood and muscles had no other outlet except for violent quivering. He cried softly as a fork with prongs as long as his couch scooped up enough rice to feed an entire family. Forty orders of rice would be maybe a couple of bites for the giant, if that. 

“Why?” Connie whined. “Why would you do this? I won’t be nearly enough to fill your belly.” 

“Mmmm... for the novelty of live prey, I suppose,” the giant thundered, finally deigning to respond to Connie’s outbursts. He chewed the mouthful of rice thoughtfully. “I’ve heard humans taste exceptionally delicious.” His capacious stomach roared hungrily beneath the table, as if the conversation had whetted his appetite. He swallowed and grinned, a dribble of drool running down his chin. Connie watched the lump bob in his pudgy neck with consternation. 

“I’m a person, not food,” Connie argued desperately. “I have a life. I have family. I have...” He stopped, closing his mouth. His pleas felt like bitter lies. His life was torture. His family didn’t care about him. He had nothing: no money, no friends, no lovers. He had nothing but regrets and sorrows. 

His thoughts soured further as he thought about his past life, the memories flashing by like the windows on a train. His crush. That handsome giant at his old job, whom he yearned for with all his heart. His reminiscing took a darker turn, as he was reminded of his secret somnolent fantasies, of his benevolent dream man swallowing him whole. Those powerful dreams scratched a primordial itch within him that he couldn’t understand or explain exactly why they resonated so deeply, only that he needed them badly, despite his fear of the deadly consequences. 

The giant grinned with droll amusement, observing Connie’s violent emotional upheavals. He dug his fork under the tasty morsel and lifted him up to his face. Connie didn’t protest or fight, slumping limply on the fork as he approached the line of plush lips. He watched as the lips parted before him and the maw gaped open wide, revealing a soggy cavern of flesh lined with craggy ivory teeth. A breath originating from deep within the cavity flushed him with warmth. 

The fork thrust him inside. He splatted on the cushion of the massive wet tongue, which rippled with purpose, absorbing his flavor. The teeth closed in a cage around him and the mouth enveloped him in a smothering embrace, the tongue wrapping around him, rolling over him like a wave, weighing heavily on his tiny frame. Connie gasped for breath as every inch of his skin was caressed with slimy taste buds, rubbed down, and drenched with saliva. The sensations were so real, so overstimulating, so intense, to the point where he could barely handle it. As terrified as he was, the experience was... 

He was going to die anyway; there was no point in denying, or clinging to false hope, or holding himself back. He let go. He cast aside his shame and guilt and self-loathing with reckless abandon. He allowed himself to unleash the erotic feelings he’d been holding back, to fantasize, to indulge. He imagined the object of his desire, his special giant, his secret forbidden lover, rolling him around on his tongue. This was his mouth, and he had chosen Connie as a treat to satiate his hunger. 

He grew hard with arousal, grinding his groin against the giant’s tongue and moaning with pleasure. The tongue slammed him against the teeth, dragged him along the molars, and pressed him up against the hard palate at the top like a passionate lover. He was slurped into a cheek and sucked on, then tossed back over the crest of teeth towards the gullet. He blushed as his heart thrummed and sang with joy. He felt so alive, in a way he had never felt in all his years of life, especially not in his more recent darker days. 

He slid headfirst into the gullet, wriggling with unrestrained passion. The walls of the throat crushed him in a powerful embrace as the giant swallowed. Connie could hardly breathe as he was squeezed down, but the pressure on his dick, the heat and the wetness, made him burst. He ejaculated as he plunged down in the throes of ecstasy. Just when he felt like he wouldn’t be able to bear it any longer, his head emerged in open air, swiftly followed by his shoulders and chest, until he tumbled through space and plopped into the giant’s stomach. 

Connie gasped for breath in the boiling hot chamber. The air was thin down here and stung with potent fumes. The acid tingled at his skin, eager to dissolve him into unrecognizable sludge. The elation he felt, however, outweighed his discomfort. He didn’t care about anything else anymore. He pretended he was inside his giant lover, and he was sublimely happy. The slimy walls churned and rocked him as he sank into their squishy softness, and the throbbing ambience of the heart beating and lungs breathing soothed him into a state of calm. As he gradually lost consciousness, he closed his eyes and smiled as he thought about his precious love: Martin.     

[appalamutte]

life update: got home from a 16 hour day and do i just love life.

i have a job i don’t mind with coworkers who i absolutely adore. i have more friends than i’ve had in a long while. my family is healthy and here and i am surrounded by people who i want in my life. i’ve found new passions in baking and running and get to log onto this site and see my favorite mutuals, even if it’s been a bit since i’ve last been on.

today, i got dinner and drinks with a few coworkers after work before we met with other friends to play bingo (wow…..bingo gambling really is addictive). i haven’t laughed this hard in forever, haven’t felt this particular type of warmth in so long.

he was there (y’all know who) and we sat together and. okay. we’re friends, and i’ve had my few days to feel everything before letting it go, and i haven’t been sure where we would stand once his time at our office comes to an end in a few weeks, so i’ve been….astray with it all. listless. lost? i brought that up as a joke at bingo, that he would miss us when he’s gone and work won’t be as fun when he’s not in my office killing time, and by the grace of god he looked me in the (drunk) eyes and said “you know i’m staying in the area, i’ve got your number. we aren’t going to be strangers just because i don’t work with you”

that settled the last frayed nerves within me.

i can’t lie and say there aren’t still feelings, because there are but they’re molding into something healthier, and i can’t look at him without feeling like there’s a part of me that will always search for him. no matter where we end up or how long we’ll truly know each other, i’ll search for him. the pieces you give of yourself to others create holes you’ll never quite be able to fill, and i know i’ve given him a piece of me that i’ll never get back. i’m comforted, too, to know that he’s one of the few people to receive that piece, even if he never realizes that he has it at all.

maybe i’ll forever have a crush on him. maybe you’re supposed to have crushes on all your close friends. i’m tipsy in bed and swimming through vestiges of moments i’ll want to return to. i get to go to sleep and wake up and do it all over again.

life is so good.

[itsdeathofabachelor]

I really like the dynamic I’ve created for Jotaro and Kakyoin in a modern day setting.

Like, Jotaro got an after school gig and instead of going to college he’s took a gap year off the funds of said job, which is like some sort of warehouse or labourer thing because he can dead-lift three hundred pounds.

(The fact that he can deadlift three hundred pounds is also why his manager lets him smoke and drink outside on his breaks as long as nobody else sees him and it doesn’t affect his work, which is doesn’t because a can of beer isn’t going to knock him on his ass being 6’5 and like two hundred pounds himself*)

And Kakyoin is in college for some sort of business something because he also doesn’t know what to do but his very traditional Japanese parents overseas refuse to raise a NEET so he picked whatever had the highest graduate rate and games alone in his apartment after classes.

They’re roommates now but had been friends since they were kids and had reconnected literally by chance, as Jotaro had been working at said labourering gig at that time to pay for his Mom’s medical bills.

Side note: in this au Holly’s sick but more chronic illness sick, and after Sadao realized she wasn’t getting better and, in fact, it was a lifelong illness, he told her to leave. As the Japanese High End music industry is extremely judgmental and he was advised by several of his coworkers (and mistresses) that it would ruin his image if he was branded as a nurse and homebody taking care of Holly while Jotaro was at school.

With that in mind, Jotaro and Holly moved to America to live with Holly’s father, Joseph. Who is considerably more racist and far less charming for people to over look said racism. Suzy Q, his late ex wife and Holly’s bio-mom, noticed that after he gained a few pounds and suddenly didn’t have pretty privilege anymore.

She still barges into Joseph’s house to visit Holly and Jotaro, much to Joseph’s dismay. Jotaro likes her but finds her pushy and touchy without asking for permission first.

Jotaro worked at the same job he does now immediately after school to avoid the jokes and pokes at his father and about his race from Joseph, and seeing his mother try to walk again and cry when she can’t— Lining up perfectly one day when Kakyoin was walking (having just recently moved from overseas into the area of Jotaro’s job site) back from a later class.

Looking up from his phone he saw Jotaro, who was looking right at him from across the road, past the wire fencing set up to stop anyone from getting into the site and messing with the machines.

Kakyoin didn’t recognize Jotaro nearly as quickly as Jotaro recognized him. So as Jotaro long-jumped over the fencing and came barrelling into the street to the sidewalk where he stood, there was a split second where he thought he was going to die by the hands of a two hundred and fifty pound silverback gorilla. Like in the bootleg movie he had just watched the night before. And he wondered if this was the digital pirating god finally taking his dues.

Quickly, I should note, I remember seeing a post somewhere about how Jotaro’s love language is soft but he’d never let you get that close to him (the post included a picture of a teddy bear in a steel cage to represent this) and I think that fits very well with my own fanon interpretation of Jotaro’s character.

However, I do also think after so much time spent trying to help his mother, dealing with the weight of having to be the only reliable shoulder for her to cry on (because we all know THIS Joseph doesn’t have a emotionally intelligent bone in his body) and also the crushing feeling of grinding your body into a pulp for both school and some labouring job you hate— after about the year or so he had been there— would have had him clinging to those hinges by his fingernails.

So, bam! The last comfort of his childhood that hadn’t been ripped away, standing awkwardly at the crosswalk because he wasn’t sure if he should jaywalk because there were no cars coming, or if he should wait because the statistics of automobile casualties due to the average pedestrian’s immortality complex when it comes to giant metal machines are flicking behind his eyelids— obviously, Jotaro loses his mind.

Imagine a black bear. Giant. Huge, okay? Got that?

That’s what Kakyoin was suffocating into as Jotaro hugged him so hard his pre-mature stand popped out a little from his back.

This Kakyoin, having no fighting instincts what-so-ever, kind of just goes limp. And Jotaro, so happy he’s really really upset, shakily puts him back down.

And then there’s a moment like, wait wait wait wait. . . I know that mean mug— and then Kakyoin sort of connects the dots because Jotaro had always been a lot taller than him and also he literally was the only person Kakyoin had ever known that had let him blow out his birthday candles at his seventh birthday party when he found out Kakyoin’s parents didn’t ’believe in birthdays’ other than ‘milestone birthdays’.

And Jotaro had also treated him with basic human decency, considering he could have very easily bullied him.

So his face was burned into his memory for years now, whenever he tried to socialize and said the wrong thing, or if he saw a friend group doing friend group activities and suddenly he felt very very lonely. He actually really missed his and Jotaro’s friendship.

So they became best friends again like immediately.

It turns out in their time apart, Kakyoin had gotten an Autism diagnosis, which explained his unusual speech pacing and all the other things leading to ruthless bullying in middle school.

When he told him this on the floor of Kakyoin’s apartment— both of them doing a Pokémon themed puzzle together even though Jotaro had trouble picking the pieces off the floor— Jotaro could not have given less of a shit, but instead asked if that’s why, when the were kids, Kakyoin had always asked him for ‘pressure’ (AKA, Jotaro being taller than Kakyoin made it so he could give him a hug or lay on top of him in order to provide a good sensory feeling, or what Kakyoin had called ‘Pressure’).

And Kakyoin’s like, ‘Yeah.’

And Jotaro’s like, ‘Do you need some now?’ And mutters something about not wanting him to freak because he’s over whelmed or anything but really he wants a hug and doesn’t want to be the one to ask.

And Kakyoin’s like, ‘Sure. That’d be nice because I couldn’t enjoy the other hug properly when thinking you were a stranger trying to kill me’.

And now they’re roommates and Kakyoin streams his gaming seshes after he realized his parent’s monthly payments towards his rent were giving them ammo for guilt-trips and that he could make money off of games.

Weirdly enough, the same speech abnormalities he got bullied for actually helped him get his streaming platform, as it became his ‘brand’ in a way. Same thing with his flat humour and ‘fun facts’. Also, because he talks so much, his streams are very long, and there’s a running joke in his audience to— when he’s saying he’s going to log off for the night— ask him questions and see how long they can keep him on stream.

He doesn’t have a face cam, and plans to remain faceless to his audience, so whenever he really needs to focus and Jotaro comes lumbering in from a hard day at work and kicks his shoes off, Kakyoin—laying on the couch—raises his arms with his controller clicking over his head, not looking away from the screen, and is like ‘Jotaro, pressure. Streaming.’

And Jotaro hears Ode To Joy playing in his head as he tosses his ballcap with the company’s logo somewhere behind the tv and falls facefirst onto Kakyoin, who, after getting the air pressed out of his lungs, wins his match and talks to the chat.

The chat, obviously, asks about Jotaro, and Kakyoin just says, ‘A good friend of mine gifts me plus five stamina.’ Or some nerd shit.

* I headcannon Jotaro as fucking huge btw but that’s because I love very large angry men who, when relaxed, melts into a puddle of goo because their muscles aren’t straining. Jotaro has that kind of physique. Suzie Q (being Italian) loves this as Jotaro burns more calories flexing all day because he’s so stressed and tensed about everything, than a two mile sprint. So he eats. A lot. He’s one of the only people who actually eats enough not to have left overs. It impresses Joseph more than he’d ever admit.

[whiskeyswriting]

Peter's Way Home | Chapter 1: Peter's Ladybug

{ Masterlist }

A/N: Image header by me using Canva; divider by @silkholland

It had been the hardest three months after losing your mom and now today is the first day back at Midtown Science High School. While it wasn’t the first day of school, that’s what it felt like to you.

It had been an accident they said. The fire couldn’t be contained in the restaurant's kitchen. She died saving her coworkers. She was a hero. Yet, it didn’t feel like an accident when it felt more like negligence on her job’s part. Had the fire extinguishers been properly maintained or the windows not been painted shut, you would still have your mother.

The sound of a skateboard along the sidewalk drew you out of your thoughts. “Hey, ladybug!” Your best friend calls out to you.

“Hi Peter,” you say softly, needing to get used to using your voice again.

“Are you sure you’re ready to come back to school and deal with the idiots?” He teases.

“Someone has to keep them in line right?” You bump your shoulder with his. “So tell me everything that I’ve missed.”

You smile as Peter starts on his rambling catching you up on everything that had been going on at school.

The morning at school had gone by quicker than you anticipated. Your teachers had already been reminded that you had been homeschooling while you were in your months of grief.

It wasn’t easy. There was no point in lying about it. There were days when you would do your schooling at your dad’s fire station. On other days, you stayed with Peter’s Aunt May and Uncle Ben. They had always been great neighbors since you moved into the neighborhood but in the last few years, they became your second family.

During lunch, you head to the courtyard and you spot Peter and make your way to him. Before you can reach him, you hear him telling Flash to put another kid down. Next thing you know, Flash is beating Peter up.

“Eugene!” You yell out at the same time as Gwen approaches him. “I’ll walk with Flash. You check on Peter,” you tell Gwen, knowing of Peter’s crush on her.

You had once hoped he would crush on you but his happiness mattered more to you, so you would help him win the girl of his dreams.

“Flash! What the hell was that for?” You ask him harshly. “You promised me you would leave Peter alone.”

He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in close for a hug. “I’m sorry. Welcome back to school. I should have given my best girl a hug before now.”

You return the hug. “Thank you, Flash! But I won't tutor you again if I see or hear you making fun of Peter... No matter what.”

You didn’t notice that, as you talked with Flash, Peter spotted you and felt annoyed that you two were hugging. He knew he had no right. You were entitled to your own friends. But did Flash have to be one of them?

It was surprising to anyone to hear that Flash Thompson and you were friends. You were considered one of the nerds. Flash was the jock everyone loved. Well, mostly everyone. Your friendship with Flash blossomed from your days studying at the firehouse. His father and older brother were firefighters, so he would often visit and sit with you as you tutored him.

“Since you’re my best girl, it’s only fair that I take you as my date to homecoming,” he says smiling charmingly at you.

“That would be fun,” you reply. “Come on, let’s get to class and we can talk more later about homecoming.”

“Actually,” he shuffles his feet nervously. “I was hoping you’d say yes to being my girlfriend. I’ve got a crush on you and well we’re a good team.”

You weren’t blind. Flash was handsome. You both got along pretty well. You both actually had things in common. Though it’s not the guy you would have hoped for, you nodded yes. 

“Woooo! She said she’ll be my girlfriend,” Flash yells with a laugh.

When you’re in class, you can hear Gwen asking Peter if he knew his name. You try not to giggle when you sense him getting flustered at talking with her. 

After school, you and Gwen discuss what topics to go over at the next debate team meeting. The subject then changes to boys.

“So I heard Flash asked you out,” Gwen says with a teasing smile.

“Did the whole school find out?” You reply laughing.

“Oh Flash was telling everybody that would listen that he got his dream girl.”

“Dream girl?” You scoff in disbelief.

“That’s what he was saying to the basketball team in gym,” she continued teasing.

You groan and hide your face. Never had Flash shown any such interest in you so it left you confused as to why he would say you were his dream girl. It’s not that you weren’t pretty, but you knew the more popular girls in school would typically be the Dream Girl for someone like Flash. 

Of course, hearing those words boosted your self-esteem a bit. It took you a few more minutes to refocus on the debate team. 

Once done with debate, you waited for Peter to finish his photographs so you could walk home together. 

“Ladybug!” He came and hug attacked you, wincing when his sides brushed up against your backpack. 

“Peter, when will you stop calling me that?”

“Mmmm… Let me think about it… Never.”

“What about when you get married? And then I get married? And we’re both old…? You’ll still call me ladybug?”

He turns to you and grabs your shoulders. “We’ll be ghosts and I’ll still call you ladybug… Besides, it’s how I keep your mom’s memory alive.”

You stop walking for a moment. “What?”

“Your mom. The day you moved into the neighborhood… you were wearing a ladybug dress and so was your mom. She was calling you her little ladybug.”

“I never knew you knew.”

Arriving home, you find your dad had the night off today. “Hey! So I decided we could have pizza and wings. I also got your mom’s favorite movies so we can make fun of her taste,” he teases but the pain could still be heard.

You rush to hug him. “Sounds like the best night we’ve had in a while… So, uhm guess who asked me out?”

“Peter finally asked you out?”

Your eyes widen. “No. Why would you think it was Peter?”

“Because you two are always together and inseparable. I know one day you’ll end up together.”

“Sorry to burst that bubble, Dad. But it was Flash that asked me out… Both for homecoming and as his girlfriend.”

Your dad sighs deeply and pouts. “I don’t want you growing up. But know I’ll help you with anything for the dance… You know you have May to help too… I have some of your mom’s jewelry that you can use.”

“I love you, Dad.”

As you’re getting ready for bed after the movie, there’s a knock on your window. “I’m decent Peter. You can come in.”

He smiles at your fuzzy socks and the fact that you’re wearing your mom’s cheerleading sweater as your pajama top. “Do you still have her perfume to spray on the sweater?”

“Yeah. I sometimes wear it to feel her close again.”

“Tell me more about her,” he says as he lays on your bed. He knows you have been having a hard time sleeping after your mom’s death so he’s kept his promise of being there with you at night to help you sleep.

Only that today would be the last night for a while he would be there for you. Eventually, another entity would take over your thoughts at night.

--

PWH 🏷 List: @dxmerons @1lellykins @scarlett-witchh @asoulsreverie

Whiskey's Barrel (Permanent Tag List): @askmarinaandothers @bayisdying @breadsquash @callmemana @callsignscupcake @cycbaby @dragon-kazansky @gracespicybradshaw @hisredheadedgoddess28 @ladylanera @starlit-epiphany

[mydarlingdahlia]

An update on where I’ve been.

Warning: mentions of topics that could be a trigger warning for some. reader discretion is advised.

A/N: if you don’t want to read any of that stuff, basically, I’m okay. I’m alive.

As I’m writing this post, the whole stalker situation has blown over, for now…but I didn’t think it would be resolved as quickly as it did.

It turns out that the guy who was stalking me turned out to be one of my coworkers. Evidently, a guy who worked under me. (I’m not going to say his name, as to respect his privacy, even though he doesn’t deserve it.)

As he stated, as he was being dragged off of my mother in law’s property screaming his head off, it had started off as a crush, and that he “didn’t mean to hurt me”. Hate to break it to you, but attempting to stab me and giving me multiple bruises and cuts isn’t exactly not hurting me.

I’m okay, no fatal injuries were inflicted.

But basically, I was peacefully sleeping in my mother in law’s house, as I announced when I was going on my semi-hiatus. I was feeling restless, so I went up go get a snack from the kitchen, but I noticed Snoopy, one of my beagles, was acting strangely.

I assumed it was nothing, and let him walk down with me to the kitchen. But as soon as we got downstairs, he started growling. Like, he did not sound like a one year old beagle. It scared me even. Again, I brushed it off, until he started barking loudly at the pantry.

Long story short, the guy was hiding in the pantry waiting for me to come down. He claimed he knew whenever I came down for a late night snack, because he had apparently had been watching me. For months. Yeah.

He jumped out, knife in hand, and wrestled me to the ground while trying to stab me. He didn’t sink the knife in too far, but I did get a few cuts. I was able to disarm him and get the knife away, and my mother in law had come downstairs after hearing the noise combined with my dog’s barking.

After that, she tackled him and had to tase him and held him down while my father in law called 911.

I still don't know how he was able to disarm the alarm system and break into the house.

I’d say about ten minutes later the cops showed up. They escorted him out of the house and put him in the police car before he could do anything else. I was called to the station a little later to do some questioning.

After they were done questioning me, they told me what he had originally planned to do. (Surprisingly, he had admitted to everything) I had to vomit after what they’d told me he said.

Apparently, this all started a whole year ago, when he first started to work under me at my job. (He's been fired, don't worry) I was unaware, of course. He said he'd been fixated on me from the moment he saw me walk in, and he "had to have me". (I know, this sounds like a fic I'd write. But seriously, this shit happened.)

It had started out "simple". You know, just finding out my entire schedule, stalking my posts, taking pictures of me when I wasn't looking, you know, the good stuff. (This is sarcasm. Don't bitch and moan about it.)

Apparently, by the second month, he claimed he knew everything about me! He even knew that I (at the time) had a girlfriend. He assumed our relationship would burn out, because he was jealous of her and "wanted me all to himself". Well, that clearly didn't happen.

When he heard of our engagement in the summer, he was pissed. (Allegedly) That's when he started to stalk Mia.

He found out everything about her that he could. Her address, her workplace, where she went to university, most of her family members, friends, and that she has a hearing impairment. And that she's basically mute.

I don't know what he would've done with that last bit of info if this had all been discovered a bit too late, but I can think of a few examples that make me sick to my stomach.

After all this happened, he had apparently been working up the courage to ask me out. After he got rid of Mia, of course. (Again. Sarcasm. This is how I cope with traumatic events.)

More than half of his phone storage was just of me. Pictures, documents detailing horrible things he'd do if "the time came", screenshots of some of the platforms where I post, and some of my favorite things, which he planned to "lure me in" with.

He planned to essentially (R-word) me, and get me (with his child) so I "couldn't leave him". He also planned to (unalive) Mia, so he could "get her out of the way of his true love". I don't know what he planned to do to her after he (unalived) her, but I can gurantee that it would not have been good.

He did get me something for Christmas, actually. He uhh...he got me a s3x toy. And he mailed it to me. (Or delivered it himself, I don't know which.)

I assumed it must've been a mistake, because there was no indication that it was mine, or even for me, so I assumed that UPS or something had the wrong address. So I threw it away and basically said, "Oh well, guess someone's boyfriend/girlfriend will have one less present this year." He didn’t appreciate that.

He was mad because he knew I wasn’t using the toy he got me, because he’d been watching me when I was going solo a few times. He was disappointed because his gift wasn’t there. Not that I wanted it, anyway…

The creepy thing about it though, was the letter that was attached to it. Basically, in summary, it said: "I miss you so much, my one true love, we'll be together soon."

I thought the person who mailed it to me might've had a long distance partner or something.

After Christmas, he'd calmed down for like a month, but at the beginning of February, he picked up again. He found out Mia's phone number from where she worked, and started to text and harass her. She hadn't told me, (I think she was scared to) so it all came as a surprise to me when he texted me eventually.

Basically, most, if not all, of the texts were basically him threatening and pressuring her to leave me or else "something bad would happen". He also sprinkled in a few "she's mine", "she doesn't want you", you know, the like.

After she'd blocked him, she hadn't told anyone about it.

So after he started to text me, she admitted to everything. I wasn't mad, of course. So, we contacted the police. I'll spare you the details.

I think I was more concerned for Mia than myself, even though his motto was basically "If I can't have her no one will". I think, at the time, she was in more danger than I was. Apparently, he somehow knew (Of course he fucking did) that I was going to my MIL's house.

A few hours later, he somehow managed to start texting Mia again, and he began to threaten me. Saying bs like "I'm gonna (R-word) you and your fiancée if you don't listen to me". I probably can't say much more without guidelines sniping me.

And then the rest of it happened. So, yeah. That's the end of it.

Thank you all (especially my mooties) for all of the support, and I'm (thankfully) okay now and (fortunately) fully intact.

Everything’s happened so fast…I know it probably seems fake to you guys, but I’m not in the mood for any snarky comments right now. Most of this happened literally the day after I received those messages.

Also, I might take down a few posts with pictures of myself soon. Just a heads up if you liked one and it suddenly disappears.

[aspiring-holistic-otaku]

Season 3 Ramble#2 - “romance" lol ver.3

This month’s episode is all about romance, the third time around now and somehow I find myself with yet another tweak in format. Guess that just goes to show that love comes in many forms. In any case this month’s format isn’t that different from last time. I’ve still split my reads into 3 categories, the main difference is that the categories themselves have changed. Last time it was cute stuff, fucked up stuff and lewd stuff, this time I still have the cute category but I've switched out the other two based on this month’s reads, which I'll explain as we get to them.

So basically how this episode is gonna go is I'm gonna give my top reads this month in ascending order for each of those categories and then my top 1 reads before this month for the same.

Getting right into it the first category up is

Awww {basically v cute v innocent stuff}

#3) The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague (ongoing w 57 chapters, story & art by Miyuki Tonogaya)

This is an extremely simple but extremely cute story. The title pretty much summarizes it actually, the main character is the descendant of an ice demon, which is apparently not too strange in this world since he works a normal office job,,, and he has a crush on his cool, stoic, almost expressionless female colleague.

It's a pretty neat take on slow burns because one it's pointedly ice related, and secondly the ice guy’s emotions affect his environment, like if he gets too excited there'll be a blizzard or tiny snowmen will appear.. If you've ever had a crush on someone you know it's already hard enough to act natural or “be cool" so this guy has a pretty rough go of it.

The art is pretty nice but the characters, especially the wider cast leaves more than a bit to be desired. It actually almost kinda feels like the creator really just wanted to focus on the main two but the editor was like,, that's not how the real world works, especially not in an office... I do appreciate though that some of the wider cast includes different types of demons and it’s fun to see the different ways their emotions leak out, the different pairings, and so on.

As I said it’s an extremely simple story, almost feels like a 4 panel tbh, nothing I'd push too hard but it’s undeniably cute and makes for a super easy binge read or just something to pick up from time to time to escape the harshness of reality and indulge in the very cute but very absurd fantasy of a successful workplace romance… I think more than a few ppl have that one coworker you would if you could… but no… just no… leave it alone… leave it in fiction land my friend…

#2) Skip and Loafer (ongoing w 58 chapters, story & art by Misaki Takamatsu)

The story here follows our main heroine, a real go getter, who moved from the countryside to big city Tokyo for highschool, all so she could follow her dreams of being a politician and help out in rural areas around the country. Anyways she’s characterized as not being great at much else but studying, and in that spirit, gets lost on the way to her entrance ceremony. Here enters our main hero who’s also late but for the opposite reason, he’s super laid back, slept late and was considering just skipping but he felt sorry for this obviously lost but obviously trying girl so he decides to help her out and the story takes off from there.

Just wanna get out of the way that I love all the characters and their interactions with each other and especially within themselves. If anything, that's this manga’s strongest point. It makes the characters ooze real feelings that really feels in place for each where they are. Like not too dramatic where you wonder if they’re really highschool kids or even in school for that matter, and not too fantasy like where everything is perfect and it’s almost like characters are machines just filling a roll.

It kicks off pretty early on with engaging character interactions and the way they change and develop as the main cast gets to know each other is really endearing. I especially really really love the main heroine because she’s that innocent character type but it’s not done in that way that makes her this pure cinnamon roll that’s too good for this world, where nothing gets her down or she chooses peace and love every time. Her thing is that she’s basically socially inept and so she doesn’t really get when people are mean or even when they're being nice sometimes, but she’s all by herself in this new place so she’s trying and though she doesn’t always get it, it’s a real pleasure to see her grow.

It’s ongoing, only 58 chapters but there’s been a ton of realness and real growth in a bunch of ways for most of the cast packed in so far. Really can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Anyways, cool art, great cast, love the interactions and would definitely highly recommend this one.

#1) Horimiya (complete w 152 chapters, story by HERO & art by Daisuke Hagiwara)

The story here is that the main hero/heroine pair each have a hidden side to them that nobody else knows. At school, the heroine is always super put together but when she’s at home she’s too busy taking care of her little brother for all that and takes on a more homely caretaker persona (the art is shoujo leaning so she and most of the main cast pretty much always looks pretty). But anyways, at school, the hero is seen as a gloomy glasses wearing loner but when he leaves school he looks like he came out of a rock magazine. Tattoos and piercings everywhere. Anyways, this and that happens, the convenient plot is convenient and they end up becoming friends who hold each other’s secrets.

As much as the story kinda feels like shoujo perfect world fantasy stuff, and as much as it came out as top 1 largely because it’s complete, I think a small part of it might have been that a tiny part of me still wants to believe in, and might even still want that kind of “perfect” love. From the innocent buildup to the accumulation of every day special normals and beyond… but in any case, I did honestly like the theme of more and more of your true self coming to the surface and being able to show that true self to someone.

Overall, besides the main pairing, the cast was kinda weak, not bad, just pretty one dimensional But that one dimension was very cute and fluffy and this being a romance manga, it worked. What I will say though is that it took a while for the wider cast to come into play and even more for them to make me care, like not until late 50s heading into 70s did i care about anyone but the main pairing. Meanwhile skip and loafer only has about 50 chapters total and I was fully invested in the entire cast well before then.

But as I said, when the full horimiya cast rolls in it’s all very cute and I liked that they even made the platonic same sex relations pretty cute like yh guys just having fun and it’s not weirdly pervy in any direction, just another form of love yk.. v cool… Again it did have me yearning a bit like wow imagine having a life with both platonic AND romantic relationships being healthy and fulfilling.

Anywho,, pretty neat art, the story kinda just goes on ig but having in mind that it was a romance and it goes on in an increasingly cute way and all, i’d recommend it.

hm:

Even the Introverted Gals Wanna Get Out There! - pretty funny, maybe more funny than cute, also it’s girl on girl, think dead dead demon’s destruction but the main heroines actually get to live life and breath air, literally just vibing out in the club room after school (ongoing w about 6 chaps)

Train Man - Net Development, the Love Story of a Local Train: based on a true story apparently, basically a dude saves some people on a train and becomes friends with one of them and stuff take off from there (complete w 27 chapters)

ftr everything in the main list has an anime but i can’t speak on their status or quality

also ftr I'd definitely rate skip and loafer higher than horimiya overall but because this is the cuteness category, + horimiya is a complete story which I tend to favour for higher places in lists and stuff

next category up is

Dense & Denser

{this is basically when one or more of the characters are just oblivious to any love flags thrown their way}

#2) How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend (complete w 42 chapters, story & art by Takeshi Moriki, original LN story by Fumiaki Maruto)

Had never heard of this one before but the title pulled me in like how and why would one raise a boring girlfriend anyways?

The story here is that on the way to school the mc has an encounter with a mystery girl and it’s love at first sight, even though he didn’t see her face…. The mc is an anime/manga otaku much like myself, and this encounter inspires him to make a dating sim game, but after he happens to actually meet the mystery girl face to face, he finds that she’s actually kind of plain,, albeit in a cute sort of way. In any case the feeling of their first mystery meeting lives on so he pushes through with his idea, intending to transform this girl into his ideal heroine. The main story, relations and problems arise around him trying to get the dev team together for this game, and of course this being romance they’re all girls.

It’s all very funny in a very meta way, with commentary on anime/manga culture in most chapters, and the so called main heroine, being outside that culture, usually playing a very good straight man. It’s also meta in how the mc goes about getting his dev team together, as i said they’re all girls so it’s almost like his life becomes a dating sim in trying to woo them into his harem… i mean game dev team…

In any case I’m not even actually sure the mc really counts as romantically dense or if he was just so committed to the bit of being a single weeb undeserving of love that he just pretended not to notice all the pretty loud romantic undertones,,, but maybe that's a type of density in itself… a younger me can def relate… being committed to the bit is a lifestyle… bed is bae… anyways it’s kind of ecchi but still surprisingly good in both the romance and meta aspects. Pretty good art, they made a decision to keep the cast compact and it worked out very nicely. It wraps up in just under 50 chapters but I will say each chapter is pretty dense and can be a bit word heavy. Would recommend.

#1) Monthly Girls’ Nozaki (ongoing w 148 chapters, story & art by Izumi Tsubaki)

This story follows our main heroine as she tries to get the attention of her crush, who is our mc. In approaching him she finds out he’s actually her favourite romance manga creator and through this and that ends up working on it with him as an assistant to try and get closer to him.

Right off the bat I think everyone in this cast is pretty dense but man is the main hero just the most dense mf in the universe. I feel sorry for the main heroine cause she knows but she’s just so down bad for him she kinda becomes dense to how down bad she is. In any case every chapter takes the form of a series of connected 4 panel stories and it’s pretty funny throughout.

The wider cast is pretty neat, nothing too crazy but as i said they’re all pretty dense in their own weird ways so the interactions are usually funny. The art is solid, cast is okay, pretty funny, would recommend for sure.

ftr both have an anime not sure of status or quality

and again ftr i’d rank boring girlfriend over monthly girls’ in general, especially as it’s complete it’s just that this is the dense & denser category and monthly girls’ nozaki is definitely dense central, like black hole event horizon density my friends…

and the last category

That’s Rough Buddy

{a direct reference to avatar when sokka told prince zuko his girlfriend turned into the moon and his response was “that’s rough buddy”, this category is different from the that’s fucked up category I used in very.2 in that these focus more on emotional turmoil and have no physical violence and so on}

#3) Kowloon Generic Romance (ongoing w 61 chapters, story & art by Jun Mayuzuki)

This is kind of eh tbh, cool art, and it’s kind of a mystery as to what’s goin on, so much so that I don’t think I can describe it without spoiling so i’ll lean on the anilist/yen press summary a bit here which is as follows:

“Welcome to Kowloon Walled City: a dystopian townscape where the people are brimming with nostalgia, and where the past, present, and future converge. Amid the hidden emotions and extraordinary daily lives of the men and women working in its confines, a tale of romance begins to unfold for real estate agent Reiko Kujirai—one that feels as familiar as Kowloon itself…”

I doubt that told you anything but I hope it sparks some intrigue, I will say it has a good number of dope one liners, and if i’m being honest the main characters smoke a lot which is an aesthetic I love for some reason so sue me…

Not much else to say tbh, nice art as I said, it’s pretty cool, okay cast, the story is pulling a bit but the bait isn’t that strong, though the aesthetics of it all has definitely caught my eye so I will be keeping up with it after this month… i wouldn’t push it as a recommendation that hard but there’s only 61 chapters rn so no real loss if you do decide to check it out

#2) How Do We Relationship? (ongoing w 115 chapters, story & art by tamifull)

The story here is that the main heroines are gay and in reality no matter how much the media and conservatives want ppl to believe that homosexuality and homosexuals are accepted and normalized in society, in fact that anything but being heterosexual and cisgender passing is accepted & normalized, that’s simply not the case in real life. I live in jamaica and man, not that I really care, but I could get shunned just for reading stuff with gays in it… In any case that’s the sort of reality the main heroines live in which was cool for its realness as they were/are hiding the fact that they're gay, but in any case plot plot plot they end up going out….

This is the “that’s rough buddy” category so I think it’s okay to spoil that it doesn’t go smoothly though I won’t go into further detail. I will mention a really cool thing the author said in an afterword where they say that a lot of romance stories tend to build towards and end at the start of the main characters getting into a relationship, but life isn’t like that. There’s life after that and that’s sort of what they wanted to illustrate. The life after a relationship…. Sounds like a spoiler but remember there’s more than just our heroines in the story. there’s a whole wider cast and they’re all pretty great. each having their own relationship troubles or lack thereof, ideas and philosophies on love and etc.

Pretty solid art, in fact it really reminds me of yokohama shopping log, so much so that i’m convinced it’s a fanfiction created just to make the characters from that series actually full on gay. Pretty solid cast, a story that gets more and more engaging as it goes on though it’s pretty solid from the start. would definitely highly recommend though it can be a bit tumultuous like damn you guys just never gonna be stable huh??

#1) Chobits (complete w 88 chapters, story & art by CLAMP an all woman manga group formed in the mid 1980s made of Nanase Ohkawa, Mokona, Tsubaki Nekoi and Satsuki lgarashi)

I’d always seen this around and always as the profile picture for some more than suspicious internet accounts… the vibe it gave off in my periphery view was just horrendous tbh but i took the dive and it was worth it, obviously, coming in at #1.

The story here is that in the future, the world is inhabited by humans who live alongside their extremely powerful computers called persocoms, that are shaped to look and act almost human. numerous stories have taken this angle so I think you can imagine the effects that would have on society, but in any case the story follows our mc who recently moved from the countryside to the city and ends up finding one in the trash that he takes in and starts to take care of. The thing is their memory is corrupted so he has to teach them everything, but soon enough the mystery of the discarded persocom comes to light and their abilities could change the world.

All that pompous stuff aside the theme of discerning the shape of love and who deserves it was pretty cool, the mc was bleh and so was most of the cast but the last few chapters and the questions they posed were enough, especially the origin story of the persocom like damn… that’s rough as fuck buddy,, def kinda weird but my condolences all the same…. Art was okay… and yh i’d recommend it..

hm:

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai

Top Combo

Video Girl Ai (complete w 131 chapters, story & art by Masakazu Katsura)

This was probably my fav read this month, somewhere between this, boring girlfriend and skip & loafer but this definitely has the best combinations of the different categories I was working with this month.

Again this is something I'd seen floating around for the longest and associated with more than sus accounts but it was pretty good.

The lazy story is that the mc is a lame with no game and his crush ends up confessing to his best friend in front of him. obviously distraught he ends up renting what he thinks is a porn tape.. which I guess it technically is but it's supernatural in that the girl comes out of the TV and tries to mend the viewers’ heart.

Things get super complicated and it turns into the weirdest love polygon I've ever seen, lots of back and forth and dilly dallying but I enjoyed it. The art was great, had a great classic feel, there's more than a bit of ecchi but it's not entirely distasteful or weirdly out of context, the characters and their interactions were a bit exasperating with the back and forth, loves me loves me not stuff but that had its own entertainment value, and in any case I'd recommend it

now moving onto stuff from before this month, which I won't get into details for as I've spoken on them in previous versions which I'm encouraging you to go listen to or read the transcripts for,,

Oldies

Awww

Our Precious Conversations (top 1 oldie ver.1)

Dense & Denser

That's Rough Buddy

Hi Score Girl (top 1 ver. 2)

Boy's Abyss (top2 wtf ver. 1)

That's it for this part, got a little off cuff rambling in the rest of the ramble of you wanna listen in, thanks for checking this out as usual, hope you can find something here or elsewhere that you'll love and I hope you have a good one until next time 🍻

[unhappycylinder]

Hellfire’s Newest Member (Eddie x fem!Reader) Pt. 15

--

“I don’t see why you don’t just come work at Family Video with me and Steve” Robin cried out, slamming herself against the locker next to yours as you grabbed your books.

“Because, Robin, I dont think I have the time for a full time job on top of school and hellfire and Eddie and adjusting,” you sighed, “I don’t know its just a lot”

“Yeah butttt moneyyyy” she taunted.

“Don’t remind me,” you said slamming your locker. Your dad had been working more and more at the testing facility, meaning you saw him less and less. Its not that he forgot you were there…but he definitely had forgotten to leave you money on more than one occasion. And, since you never saw him, its not like you could really explain to him that $40 every two weeks was not enough to get you groceries or enough food to sustain yourself. 

“Look, y/n, I know that its tough with your dad and everything, but come on the perks are endless. I mean we get to hang out after school, and you get paid! Plus there’s like no actual work involved!” Robin was practically yelling as you walked down the hall to your history class.

“So if I say yes does that mean I’m hired?”

“I mean technically Steve is the one who has to actually hire you, but he’s got the hots for you so there’s no doubt in my mind that he will-”

“Wait Robin,” you paused in the hall, your brain spinning at what she just said, “Steve has what for me?”

“Uhhhh nothing! Nothing at all!” She fumbled over her words, “I don’t think I even mentioned Steve, actually, I don’t know how he’s involved in this conversation at all.”

“You said Steve has a crush on me?” You laughed out, a slight blush rising to your cheeks.

“Okay Y/n look, I totally fucked up right there. Steve told me he thought you were pretty after you came to work with us after school a couple weeks ago, and ever since then he hasn’t stopped talking about you,” Robin talked so fast you could hardly keep up, “so I asked him the other day if he had a thing for you and well, he didn’t exactly say no”

“Ugh Robin!” You groaned, throwing your head back, “now its gonna be so awkward whenever I’m at work with you guys!”

“So you’ll take the job?” She exclaimed.

“Because I know you won’t stop spiraling until I say so, yes I’ll take the job, but I’m gonna need these Steve details so I know what I’m getting myself into”

“Yes! Oh my gosh yes! We’re totally gonna be coworkers!” Robin jumped up and down, grasping your arm tightly.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

—

“Come on, come on, hurry up losers,” Steve said impatiently as he beckoned you and Robin into his car after school.

“Hey Stevie,” Robin smiled sweetly at him from the passenger seat.

“Robin,” he looked at her quizzically, “someone’s in a good mood today. The hell did you say to her y/l/n?” he asked, turning around to face you.

“I may or may not have accepted a certain job offer…” you bit your lip as your eyes found Steve’s.

His mouth hung open in shock as his eyes slid from yours to Robin’s, who was eagerly bouncing up and down in the passenger seat.

“You- wait what?” Steve squealed, turning to face you in the backseat, a blush flushing across his cheeks.

“Robin said you guys had a job offering and that I should take it sooooo” 

“Well yeah we did,” he turned to Robin, his hair bouncing over his forehead as he nodded, “but I didn’t think you’d be the one to take it”

“Oh I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, Stevie,” you drawled out the last word.

— Steve’s POV —

Stevie…that damn nickname. It was bad enough that Y/n was now gonna be working with you, but now she had adopted Robin’s taunting nickname?? And you hated to admit how sweet it sounded coming from her lips.

Your eyes lingered on hers for a moment too long after she said that before panic set in and you quickly snapped around to the front of the car, hands finding the steering wheel. You could feel Robin’s knowing stare burning holes into the side of your head, and oh lord were you dreading this workday.

Putting the car in drive, you began the silent voyage to family video, fingers nervously tapping the wheel as you coasted down the highway. 

“So uhhh,” you broke the silence, finding y/n’s eyes in the rearview mirror, “Munson let you off the hook today?”

Y/n sighed, shaking her head as she smiled out her window, “Eddie isn’t my babysitter, Steve. Besides, he was pretty excited when I told him I got this job.”

“Oh yeah?” Surprise filled your voice, “I’m surprised the freak wasn’t bugging out at the idea of not getting to spend every waking second of everyday with you,” you scoffed.

“Stevie if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous,” y/n teased, her eyes returning to the mirror just in time to catch the blush that spread rapidly across your cheeks.

Robin whipped around at that statement, muttering y/n’s name under her breath.

“What?” she responded, eyes going wide at Robin as she turned around and slicked back her hair with her hands.

So, signs point to y/n knowing about your crush on her. Shit. You never should have trusted Robin…told her you thought y/n was cute even though you knew full-well she was head over heels for Eddie Munson.

That freak? You thought to yourself as the car fell back into silence, wondering about how Y/n could have been yours if you had just managed to get in before Eddie had. You could make her happier than he ever could.

— Y/n's POV —

Steve pulled into the family video lot, your eyes not leaving his face the entire drive, hoping to yourself that he hadn't caught you. He was a good looking guy, Steve, and you couldn't help but feel flattered after hearing Robin tell you how he was the king of Hawkin’s High for his 4 years, and how every girl wanted nothing more than to hang on the arm of Steve Harrington.

But no. You were with Eddie. You loved Eddie more than anything. He had shown you nothing but kindness since you got here and had welcomed you fully into his space with no hesitation…but then so had Steve. He was totally your type; tall, great hair, freckles, real cute, goofy. He was no Eddie, he lacked that edge, that spark that Eddie had that made you feel so giddy inside. 

“So y/n since it's your first day,” Steve snapped you out of your trance as you all walked up to the front door, “I think we're just gonna have you chill behind the counter with us and kinda observe everything we do”

“Sounds good to me,” you shrugged, entering the building as Steve held the door for you.

You introduced yourself to the daytime employees as Robin and Steve took over for them at the desk, taking a seat on the counter next to the register.

“Oh my god y/n this is so totally amazing,” Robin buzzed, running up to you from the back with your very own green vest, “I’ll make you a nametag and you can pick whatever pins you want and slap them on there!” She held the vest up to make sure the sizing was right before handing it over to you and getting to work on your nametag.

“Damn I guess this is really official then huh?” You slid the vest over your t-shirt, smiling at the family video logo now resting on top of your left breast.

“What do y'a think?” You asked as you shifted side to side, flaunting the vest, “do I pull it off alright?”

“You look bbbbonkers gorgeous y/n,” Robin said, slapping her palms against the sides of her cheeks, making you both giggle.

“Yeah no, you uh,” Steve stood in front of you with his hands on his hips as he stared at your vest…at the logo of your vest, “you look great. It looks great. The vest I mean. It looks good on you. You look-”

“I'm gonna stop you there Stevie boy,” Robin came to his rescue, “welcome to the family video family best friend,” she said, gently slapping Steve’s chest.

–

The workday went by quick, with the Dr. Zhivago double vhs playing softly in the background, you and Robin occasionally remarking about how romantic it was, Steve growing more annoyed with each enamored sigh.

Six hours later and your shift was done. Robin grabbed your vests from you and Steve and took them to the back room to hang them up, your nametag now sitting just above the family video logo.

“So y/n, Munson picking you up?” Steve asked while leaning against the counter.

“No uh, I didn't really know what time I’d be done so I told him I’d find a way home tonight”

“Mind if I give you a ride?”

“Yeah actually that'd be great. Last time I turned you down I ended up walking several miles in the dark…which was freaky to say the least”

“Yeah I-” Steve paused, “I was worried about you.”

“Stevie you don't need to be worried about me, I was fine”

“Well regardless, I’m driving you this time, and really any time you need a ride…can't have you walking the streets of Hawkins alone…this place is weirder than it seems”

“Ominous, but okay,” you laughed as Robin came back to the front

“You buffoons ready to go?” 

“Let's do it.” Robin slung her arm around you as you all retreated to Steve’s car, him locking the store behind you.

–

“Alright miss Buckley, your stop.” Steve drummed on the steering wheel as he waited for Robin to hop out. 

“Thanks, as always, for the ride Stevie. You two kids get home safe,” she winked at Steve as she grabbed her backpack and closed the door behind her.

“Bye y/n, see you tomorrow for our favorite class in the world!” Robin yelled as she walked towards her house.

“Cant wait,” you yelled back at her, chuckling to yourself.

“So are you gonna stay back there like I'm some chauffeur or are you gonna hop up here?” Steve asked, turning around to face you, his hand gripping the headrest of the passenger seat, drawing your eyes to it.

“I don't know Harrington you make a pretty good chauffeur”

“Come here,” Steve said lowly, gesturing towards the front seat with a nod.

You blushed, grabbing your backpack as you exited the backseat and slid into Robin’s, setting your back beneath your feet.

“Better?” You taunted, Steve’s hand still resting on your headrest.

“Much.” He brought his hand down to put the car in drive, returning it to the wheel after. You couldn't help but feel an emptiness at his hand not being there. 

“Where am I taking you?” He asked quizzically, “I just kinda started driving,” he laughed.

“You mind taking me to Eddie’s? It's pretty close, you're going the right way already actually,” you laughed with him.

“Yeah sure,” you couldn't help but notice the defeat in his tone.

“So I hear you used to be the king of Hawkin’s High…” you tried to begin conversation.

“Oh,” he blushed, “that’s what Robin’s been telling you huh?”

“Oh yeah. She told me all about how popular and untouchable you were. How all the girls wanted to date Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington,” you said with air quotes and all.

Steve laughed, “is that so?”

“What?”

“All the girls at Hawkins High want to date me…” he hummed, an amused grin across his face, “I suppose that’d include you wouldn't it?”

“I said wantED Steve, don't get ahead of yourself buckaroo,” you said through a smile and a blush, one which Steve definitely noticed.

“I don't know y/n, the color of your cheeks right now is telling me something different,” he tapped nervously on his wheel, trying to hide his anxiety through his flirtatious voice.

“Steve, you're literally driving me to my boyfriend's house as we speak…” you suggested.

Steve just looked at you, eyebrows raised, begging you to continue.

You laughed, “oh my god don't look at me like that!”

“Like what?” He laughed back.

“Like you want me to say something else! There's nothing else to say!” You held your hands up in defense.

“Alright whatever you say.” Steve chuckled as his eyes returned to the road, Eddie’s trailer only a block away, “but that doesn't mean I have to believe you L/n”

The sound of gravel crunching signaled that you were pulling into Eddie’s driveway. You began to pack up your things as Steve parked the car, turning to face you as his arm reclined on the wheel.

“Believe what you want Harrington, I know where I stand” you said with a smile and a friendly wink as you opened the car door and stepped out.

“Oh I will y/n, believe me I will,” he said, making you laugh and shake your head.

He definitely was smooth, and confident, you had to give him that.

“You are a pain in my side Steve Harrington, you know that?” 

“Just happy to be there Y/n L/n” and with that he gave you a small salute and drove away, leaving you blushing, alone, on your boyfriend’s porch.

You turned to face the door, hand coming up to gently knock on his door, careful not to wake his uncle in case he was home. Before you could make contact though, the door swung open to reveal a very ticked off Eddie Munson.

-- 

Taglist: @definitelynotecho @sadbitchfangirl @lfaewrites @tlclick73 

[gooeyotter]

no time left to spend or give (7/29/2024)

Good morning, fellow earthling.

It's a bit of a joke to be saying "good morning" at almost 2 AM as of writing this, but that's how the universe rolls sometimes. I didn't officially "wake up" until after 11 PM, you see. On the night of July 26, I lay in bed for over twelve hours, my mind a chaotic tumbleweed of existential dread and swirling thoughts. My brain felt like a corporate office gone rogue, with every thought a misplaced memo. I suspect the root of this madness might be my recent weed habits—or lack thereof. For two weeks, I had been dosing myself with 25 to 50 mg of THC gummies to numb the relentless ache of a back injury from my day job (well technically I work the night shift, but you're not here for semantics). The first sober night in ages turned my brain into a nonstop ferris wheel of anxiety. I finally crashed around 1:30 PM on July 27, which meant I didn't rise until about 9 PM. Those sleepless hours of mind-wandering and needing to get my thoughts out were the catalyst for this very blog, so there’s some Mundane Supernova lore for you.

The catch? I was exhausted but not quite tired enough to fall back asleep. I had to leave the house before 10 AM on July 28 to catch Deadpool & Wolverine at the AMC with my boyfriend, his dad, and his brothers. By the time I staggered back home around 2 PM, I was so drained I fell into a deep, all-consuming slumber. And now it's Monday, I have to work tonight, and my sleep schedule is a glorious mess. It’s not the first time I’ve turned my life into a sleep-deprivation circus, and it certainly won’t be the last. That’s just my cross to bear.

Anyway, about an hour ago, I was lounging on the backyard patio, jamming out to my phone while waiting for my sweet potato fries to finish in the air fryer. The song Diplomat by Swimming With Dolphins came on. If you haven't checked out this band, I highly recommend it. Even if some of their tracks veer into a bit of religious preaching, their music has that same ethereal, dreamy vibe as Owl City. Fun fact: Adam Young of Owl City helped kickstart the band, though I don't think he's involved anymore.

Diplomat is an anthem for the overworked and underfulfilled. It’s about a high-flying businessman feeling crushed by the corporate grind. The chorus go:

"I'm trying to find the means to living more passionately Cause I'm not who I wanna be Buried in routines, I don't care what happens to me I just gotta get free"

It struck a chord with me, making me reflect on my own workplace ambitions. Like many fellow leftists, I think it’s high time America rethinks its work culture. Living costs have skyrocketed, even in my small state of Oklahoma. It’s downright nauseating. We’re trapped in a reality where an average blue-collar worker like me must either endure endless overtime or juggle a second job just to keep afloat. I’m fortunate to work for a company I actually enjoy, with coworkers who feel like family. But even with a decent $22/hour wage, I’m still scrambling to cover bills. What’s a soul to do? I could dive into even more debt with going back to college or trade school, but high-paying jobs aren’t a given. I could seek another job, but I already sit at the top tier of blue-collar pay in this city. More overtime? Just a band-aid on a gaping wound. As the opening line of Diplomat laments:

"Live to work, work to live No time left to spend or give"

It’s frustrating and disheartening, reflecting on what this says about us as a nation and a culture. I’ve got plenty more to say on this topic, and I’ll dive deeper into my work history in a future entry, explaining why, despite everything, I prefer the gritty reality of blue-collar work over the sterile confines of office life.

Until then, hang in there. Take your PTO, use your sick days, and don’t let your boss dictate your existence.

♡ Nova

[secretblogosphere]

My god it’s been a long time since I was here. I probably should have utilized this space a lot more lately but somehow it didn’t occur to me until the other night. But here I am. Better late than never?

As usual, I just need to vent. My life is fucking falling apart and I’m about to scream.

For one, I’m stuck in a job that’s making me miserable. I came here because I needed to get out of my last place and, while it is better, it’s still sucking the soul out of me. And despite my hourly being much higher I got fucked over with bonuses so I’m actually making basically the same as before. The worst part is it’s about to get worse because one of my coworkers is going on maternity leave, one is retiring, and another leaves in August. Which means I’m going to be stuck at a property I can’t stand being at.

Two, I’m drowning in debt. And it’s not getting better. I was expecting more income so I moved into a more expensive apartment than I was in. But between my husband fucking up last year, my taxes being so expensive I can’t even pay them, and our general finances out of control it’s just getting worse and worse. I have no idea how I’m going to get out of it.

Three, my health is not going well. It’s nothing serious but frustrating enough that I just never feel good. I’ve been having digestive issues, over production of mucus, headaches, tonsil stones, and my hormone shit. I know eating better and exercising would help but I barely have the energy to do basic tasks to keep functioning much less anything like cooking or going to the gym. And I know stress is making it worse but I can’t get rid of that because 90% of what’s stressing me is external and out of my control.

Four, I’m so fucking lonely it hurts. While I know cutting the toxic people out of my life was for the best, I have no idea how to make new friends to replace them. And I legit have two people in my life, one of whom is borderline toxic. So I spend all my time in my house alone. I don’t have anyone other than people on the internet to commiserate with. And while all you guys are lovely, it’s not the same as going to lunch with someone and just enjoying their company.

Five, my marriage is on the verge of collapse. We fight all the time, don’t enjoy each other’s presence, and the happiness we once had has basically disappeared. And I can’t fix it. I’ve done everything I can think of but it just gets worse and worse. Plus, he seems totally unwilling to work with me on it. His opinions of me are so negative that he can’t see past them. And most of them are built on this false narrative he’s created of who I am in his head. Still, I can’t seem to get myself to let go. Even if it’s for the best, which I don’t even know is true, I just can’t. I still love him but am not even sure why some days.

And then, just to add some colorful flair to it all, my aunt was just admitted to the ICU. She was having trouble breathing and went to the ER last night. Apparently it’s something with her heart valve. She’s only 79. My grandma, her mom, lived into her mid 90s. This isn’t supposed to be happening. I’ve had so much loss and I can’t handle any more.

I feel guilty that I’m angry this is happening. I know it’s so much worse for my cousin because that’s her mom, but I just can’t handle anything else. I’m at my breaking point. How am I supposed to keep functioning when I hit blow after blow after blow? It feels like my world is collapsing. I’m legit disassociating constantly. My feelings keep cycling through anger, fear, and bone crushing sadness. It’s too fucking much. I can’t do this.

Even with my bipolar meds, it’s hard for them to cut through all this pain. I shudder to think how much worse it would be if I didn’t have these meds. I have no support and no options. I’m stuck. What do I even do? How can I just keep going about my life? I won’t even say going about it like normal because I’m not even sure what that looks like anymore. I’ve lost myself. I’m trying so hard to keep as positive of an attitude as I can but it feels impossible. I just want to be happy. I want the life I imagined for myself. It’s not even anything crazy, just normal shit that people want.

Anyways. I just needed to let all my feeling out somewhere that’s safe. I know I just have to take it one day at a time, one minute at a time really. Whatever will be will be. I can’t change life happening. I just wish I knew how to find a pocket of happiness in all this misery.