#I’ve had crushes on coworkers before at my last job

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Okay I’m feeling emotional af lately (gay, I know) so if this post offends, it’s not meant to but fuck does having a crush as a gay suck infinitely more than if I were straight. Like no hate to straight men, crushes suck in general, but when you throw in being gay into the mix it’s so much worse.

Because like look, if a dude likes a girl, the worst case scenario is she isn’t interested, right? Sucks, but whatever. Maybe there’s another man, maybe she’s happy being single, who knows and who cares. There’s plenty of other women out there for you to go for next. And if god forbid she’s not interested AND a lesbian, well like who cares, right? That’s almost actually a relief for you because it means you never stood a chance, no man does.

But when a gay likes a dude…well see now your odds of success are lower and not only that but your odds of not only being crushed but DESTROYED are higher too. Best case? Similar to a lesbian woman, he’s straight and therefor not into you. Sucks, but thus is life, and the majority of dudes are like that so we just have to learn to live with it unfortunately. But the absolutely worst possible scenario? I’m talking 9/11-levels of absolute emotional destruction? Is if the dude is GAY and still isn’t into you. That shit makes you feel like you’ve won the lottery before shortly being isekai’d to hell via Truck-kun. Because on the surface you’re like “Holy shit, I did it! I found another gay man! I actually had a crush on a gay man this time and didn’t waste my time on a straight man I could never have!” And then the truck hits you going 80mph when you find out that he’s still not into you because shit, that means it’s really you he’s not into.

Anyways, day #19,003,234,348 of wishing I was straight. Tired of having to run the emotional calculus day-by-day to determine if a man is gay and into me, and constantly second-guessing whether I even WANT to know the answers to either of those questions because knowing will sever the blissful thread of ignorance that I’ve been barely hanging on by.

[nanivinsmoke]

Hello nani!! I just wanted to say I just read your all of me logan x reader and I love it! Was wondering If you could do logan x reader smut with the song ride by somo (been having it in my head for a while) but if you can't that's fine keep up the awesome work love!!

Ride .

✩ logan ‘wolverine’ howlett x mutant!femreader

♪my body on your body baby, stickin like some glue…♪

✩ you usually don’t sleep with your coworkers, but during this mission….the tension between you two becomes unbearable.

✩ tags: nasty, slutty sex, sex in a car, riding, oral sex, creampie, rough fucking, everything is slutty when it comes to him, jealous logan, you are a teacher at the Xavier school for the gifted, added some plot too, you can control any form of matter, liquid is your fave tho…

✩ note: hello! thanks for the req, anon this song choice 🙂‍↕️ I’ve got freaky followers! also had xmen/x2 wolverine in mind. song at the bottom of the page!

Charles left you in charge for today, something he does once every two months with his head teachers. He did it so you guys could gain experience and know how to take charge if something ever happened to him. It happens more frequently than you’d think.

Before you, it was Storm and she did an amazing job. Everyone loved her as the school’s professor, there were less accidents within the school and more mutants had come too. Unlike Scott, who was more brutal with his approach, leading to some students leaving the academy. Charles was upset and even though he didn’t show it, everyone knew it.

However, unlike those two, Logan was a little more reckless with his approach. There’s was fight breaking out almost everyday, but those same fights were mended that same day they happened. Plus, tons of students joined just because they heard THE Wolverine was there. He might’ve been a dick most of the time, however he had a heart.

And that’s why you decided to partner up with him for today’s mission. Well, that was partially true. In all honesty you had the biggest crush on him and you wanted to get the opportunity to be with him all day. Hoping to get the chance to jump his bones.

You entered the conference room with a smile, your chunky, patent leather boots echoing against the wooden floors; turning your coworkers attention over to you. Your hair flowed beautifully as you made your way in front of the round tables cleaning your throat while looking at their faces—your eyes lingering on Logan’s a little bit longer, before you spoke.

“Charles left me in charge for this month. For my very first day, i expect great results! In order for great results to happen, we have to put in the effort. I compared the results from the last couple of months. Logan and Storm, the two of you were outstanding. Quantity of students and Quality of missions were in our high range, however with you Scott……we were very low.” You turned your attention over to him, watching his body tense up and earning a chuckle from Logan.

You cleared your throat before continuing, “This isn’t to bash anyone, but to help us grow as a school and as teacher���s. These mutants come from all over to us because we understand them. They want to be comfortable and not reminded of their past lives. So, in order for this all to happen, im giving you all new partners.” There was some whispers as they turned to look at their current partners.

“Storm and Jean, you two are together. Hank and Nightcrawler, Scott and Colossus. Logan?” He pulled out his cigar and connect his eyes with yours.

“You’re with me.”

The two of you walked side to side as you approached the school’s parking lot passing the variety of cars, on the way to your own. “So, what’s this mission about?” He spoke from behind you, his eyes following your hips as you walked, trailing down to your ass and how heavy it looked in those black leather jean’s you were wearing.

“We’re looking for a mutant named Cupid and no he’s not the blonde bitch from Olympus.” You cursed, earning a chuckle from Logan.

Finally reaching your car, Logan was amazed at your taste. Your car was a matte black dodge charger, with lightly tinted windows and matching leather seats. He hopped in the passenger seat while you occupied the driver’s. “Tell me more about this love bastard,” now you were the one to chuckle. God was he hot.

“Cupid’s been causing a lot of issues in city, he currently resides in a small town and the mayor has asked for our help. His powers are based on two emotes everyone has. Love and Hate. He can control a person based on those emotions.” You pulled out of the lot, driving to your mission’s destination.

“Now, we can either do this Charle’s way or my way.” He turned to you, with an eyebrow raise, puffing on his cigar.

“And what way is that?”

“You’ll have to wait and see, baby~”

The car ride was quiet, besides your radio playing and the sound of his breathing while puffed on his cigar. However, Logan took glances at you from here and there. Watching how your eyes would gleam as the sun hit it, how you would bob head to the songs you liked, and those lips….god your lips looked heavenly. He could stare at those all day, wishing he could kiss them forever.

“Logan?” You called out and he snapped out of his days, looking around before looking back at you. “You okay? We’re here.” You raised an eyebrow and he nodded, the two of you stepping out of the car and approaching the apple green house.

You lead the way, while Logan watched your back. Those hazel eyes stuck on your derrière. “I don’t know exactly how he uses his powers, so just be on your game, Lo.” You turned your head slightly, giving him a small smile before turning around to knock on the white door. A few seconds after, a male appeared wearing a ruby red robe and blue boxer’s, pinching his nose as he sniffed.

You turned to look at your partner before back at the mutant. “Are you, Ezekiel?” You asked, a smile on your face while Logan wore his usual resting face. “Depends, are you the cops?” He asked, eyes falling from yours and onto Logan’s before going back to yours. You shook your head and smiled once more.

“Do you mind if we come in? We aren’t going to hurt you, we just wanna talk.” He said nothing, studying both of your faces before turning away; letting you both in. You followed after him, looking around his house—trying to understand him before speaking with him. Logan watched as the kid plopped on his messy couch, pulling out a small trinket and sniffing the contents. He let out an exasperated sigh and locked eyes with Logan.

“Want some?”

“I’m good, bub.” You finally joined them and sat down in the small chair across from him, Logan opting to stand besid you—cigar in the corner of his mouth.

“We’re from the Charles Xavier school for the gifted mutants. We heard about the little trouble you’ve been causing here.” He looked at you and relaxed on the couch, smirking.

“Trouble? I just help those that needed it, isn’t that what you do? I heard about this school….this Xavier guy seems like a quack. Not interested, but if you lose the top, I might be convinced.” You could sense Logan’s mood change and you held your hand out, letting him know that you had this. Guess it’s time to do it your way. Sorry Professor.

You slowly undid the buttons that held your black button up together, freeing some of your cleavage, making both Logan and Ezekiel look at you. You stared at him, smirk etching onto your face while you used your powers on the cocky mutant. He started to choke and gasp for air, causing Logan to look at him and then at you.

“Listen, do you want to die? These people are going to get fed up with you quite soon and when they do, they won’t stop until they hunt you down and have your dumb blonde head on a stick. But why wait for that when I can do it myself?” Your tone was cold and your eyes had darkened, scaring the mutant. His pale face was turning a shade of pink and Logan was getting worried.

“Princess….” He started off, but you held your hand out again. “What do ya say? Want me to kill you? Or will you let us help you and keep you safe?” You released the pressure on his throat, letting Ezekiel catch his breath. He nodded and let out a breathless okay, and you smiled; quickly buttoning your top back up before standing on your two feet.

“Good, see you at the school. Logan, give him the card.” You said leaving the two men in the house. Logan dropped the card onto the dark oak coffee table, before looking at the mutant.

“Dude, she’s crazy!”

“Tell me bout’ it,” He muttered on his way out.

You sat in the passenger seat while Logan drove, looking out the window, in complete silence. There was some obvious tension there and you were trying your best to find out why.

“Logan? Is there something wrong?” You turned and looked at him, eyes dancing across his face. He was silent and then he looked at you, his mouth painted with a scowl.

“Yeah there is.”

“What is it?” He said nothing and you continued to look at him, before he pulled the car over on the side of the road, putting it in park and turning it off—unbuckling his seat belt along with yours.

“Think that was okay? What you pulled back there? Showing him what’s mine?” Your eyes widened and you could feel a throbbing sensation below, you crossed your legs in your seat and kept your face unreadable. Seeing you show off your breasts to the mutant had Logan seething, those were for his eyes only. You were his.

“Did Cupid use his powers on you? You okay.—“ He cut you off and pulled you by your hair, forcing your face towards his and pressing his lips onto yours—which you happily accepted. His lips were so intoxicating and you couldn’t—didn’t want to pull yourself from them. Finally getting what you wanted and when he pulled away, spit trail following, you whimpered; eyes plagued with arousal.

“Logan…” you whispered and he chuckled. “I know princess, I can smell how much you want it.” He patted his lap and you practically hopped out of your seat and into his lap, reconnecting your lips while grinding against his bulge that pressed into your middle.

Both of your hands roamed each other’s bodies, kissing and licking on each other’s sensitive spots, the car steaming up from your actions. Soon, you couldn’t bear the teasing anymore and you slowly pulled your clothes off; your top along with your bra being flung into the passenger seat—while you continued to occupy his lap.

His large hands cupping your breasts, earning a soft moan from you, before he replaced his hands with his mouth; his warm tongue glued onto your sensitive nipples. You couldn’t help your moans, hands tugging on his hair, lower half grinding on his clothed cock.

“Please Lo….neeed you to fuck me,~” You begged, moaning when he put your nipple in between his teeth, teasing it lightly.

“Gotta taste you first. Get that pretty ass in the back, princess.” You happily hopped in your car’s back seat, tugging your jeans off your thighs while he climbed in the back right behind you, pulling the jeans completely off of you—putt them with the rest of your clothes.

He eyed your half naked body, licking his lips while he trailed down from your face to the wet spot that appeared on your dark grey panties. “So wet for me. Never give this pussy up, okay?” He spanked your clothed cunt, making you yelp out and nodded your head; bottom lip between your teeth—watching his every move.

He pulled off his leather jacket, and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down to his ankles; his muscles practically ripping through his beater. Both set of lips flushed with wetness, ready for what’s to come next and when he connected his mouth with your sopping wet cunt after tearing those panties off ya—your eyes immediately rolled back into your head.

Logan’s own eyes closing after tasting you, savoring how sweet you tasted. He had been thinking about this ever since he met you. He had fantasized about you every night, dreaming about you cumming all over his face. And now here he was, fulfilling his wish.

His tongue lapped up your juices like he was a dog drinking from his bowl, sucking on your throbbing clit; making you let out a series of moans—hands connecting with his hair again. “F-f-fuck….feels soo good, Lo’.” He hummed in response, lips still attached to your cunt while he added two fingers into the mix, pumping in and out of your wetness.

You were a babbling mess, moving your hips up and down; almsot riding his face—orgasm seconds away and you desperately needed to let go. “Gonna cum for me princess? Go ahead, cum all over my face. I need to taste how gushy this cunt can be.”

He was so nasty with his words, you couldn’t help but to let go; cumming all over his face and creaming on his fingers. Logan didn’t stop lapping up your juices or fucking your with his fingers, he kept going—wanting to drain all of you, until you had to beg him to stop. You pulled him up by his hair and smashed your plump lips on his, tasting yourself—moaning while he palmed your still throbbing cunt.

You pulled away and pulled his boxers down by the hem, freeing his cock; his eyes glued to yours as you immediately went to rubbing on his head. His translucent slick melting into your hands while you rubbed and jerked his mushroom tip. You watched his face contort with pleasure, his hips slowly pumping up into your fist.

“Stop teasing me, princess.” He let out a small whimper and you felt a heartbeat shoot through your core after hearing it. Logan watched as you spread your legs across his lap, squatting and angling his dick at your entrance—lowering yourself down and hissing from how he stretched you out. He was so big, pushing your walls past its normal limit. It had been a while, but none of them had ever reached his size.

“So big…” his hand fell on your hip, fingers grasping onto your ass, holding you when you finally lowered down onto him all the way.

“I know baby, but you can take it.” He slapped your ass making a slutty mewl leave your lips. You stayed like that for a moment, cunt clenching and unclenching around him before you started to bounce on him. You gasped as his tip practically kissed your cervix, his dick so deep inside of you.

But, as you continued to move, that threshold of pain vanished and was replaced with pleasure. You happily bounced on his dick, skin clapping with each move you made; his lips ghosting yours as your face was mere inches apart.

“Just like that, princess….shit,” You were so fucking tight and wet, cunt so slippery, creating a sheen of wetness on his cock. The mutant never had anything like this and he wasn’t going to give it up to anybody.

“Showing off those pretty titties to other men? Fuck, i could kill him. Want me to do that?” He grunted, pushing your hips down, making you take him even deeper. You shook your head and gripped onto his muscular shoulders, keeping steady as you bounced.

“N-no…I'm sorry, daddy! Fuck—you’re reaching so deep, Logan!” You were clinging to him so tightly, the man was losing it. He pushed you all the way down, big rough hands gripped your waist, while his tip was pressed right in your cervix—before he scooted halfway off the car seat and pushing your torso closer to his, proceeding to drill your cunt sloppy.

The loud squelching noise combined with your sweet noises was enough fuel for the wild mutant. Your ass jiggling with each movement, rocking the car as you bounced. You were close, so close now and he felt it. Felt how your walls were spasming around his girth and how louder your moans got when he hit that spot over and over. And he was right behind you too.

“Let it go, princess. Cum for daddy~” His voice was deep and sensual, adding to the intense pleasure you were receiving—making it easier for you to cum. You were seeing white as you came; nails digging into his shoulder blades while gushing all over his cock.

And as he continued to split your cunt in half, his own release came down hard and he was pumping milky white ropes inside of you. He growled in your ear, sending shivers down your back and straight to your cunt—earning a stream of clear arousal from it, drenching his cock and the seat beneath him. You had never squirted before and with Logan being the first, had you deeper in love than you were ever before. You were his for the taking.

After cleaning you up and helping you get dressed, Logan left you in the backseat of your car before starting the car up and continuing with the drive to the mansion. He kept his eyes on you in the rear view mirror, watching you as you slept; a smile etched on his face before he placed a cigar into his mouth.

He was in love and he was never going to lose you. You were his best rider after all.

[sugarypinecones]

Sleepover - Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader

a/n: first time writing on this acc!! this kind of came to me in a dream <3 sorry if it sucks btw i got kinda lazy towards the end!

warnings: age gap (mike is 25 reader is FRESHLY 18), smut, pervy!mike if you squint enough, overstim, p in v, fem receiving oral, size kink if u squint, innocent reader, mike terrorizes the poor teddy bear 😞, they’re coworkers & i tweaked the job info a little bit

⊹˚. ౨ৎ

It started innocently enough. You, needing a job, as you had just freshly turned 18 decided that the night shift would be the easiest route, since you could do your college classes online while working, since it’s not often there’s trouble involving a pizzeria.. or you’d hope, at least.

You weren’t aware it’d be an every-night thing, but you were aware you had a coworker which did ease your nerves. The minute you met him, he was instantly awkward around you, and in such a cute way that you had developed a crush almost immediately.

And, because you had been in such close proximity for two weeks straight, you two had clearly became friends as there’s nobody else to talk to, and your schoolwork gets done fast when you know once you’re done you can finally talk to him.

How the job worked, was that there were four nightguards, and you’d switch off every two weeks for a paid leave, which is what made the job initially seem so appealing to you.

And now it was your final night, and you’d be off for two weeks, which would seem exciting, but you weren’t. You’d grown so close with Mike over the last two weeks that, you simply couldn’t imagine being gone from him for two weeks. You weren’t sure if he even considered you a friend, but it didn’t hurt to try, right?

“Mike?” You spoke up from your chair, and he turned from his phone, looking at you as you softly smiled. “I’ve really enjoyed these past two weeks, you know..” You trail off, looking at him to see his reaction, making sure you weren’t ruining anything. “Me too. It’s nice not to be so alone,” He smiled, about to turn back to his phone but you begun to speak up, “So.. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come back to my house sometime within these two weeks we’re off?” You smiled hopefully, anxious.

He didn’t reply for a second, looking at you, his gaze locking into yours before he smiled, looking away. “Why not? I’ll just have to find a babysitter for Abby,” He smiled, and you almost let out a sigh because of how hard you held your breath. “Cool,” You smile, looking to the floor, “Just text me when you wanna come over.” You clarify, looking at your phone as he hums, letting you know he heard you.

⊹˚. ౨ৎ

Which leads him to knock on your doorstep, swallowing dryly as he looks around. It felt wrong to be here, seeing as the differences in ages, but it’s not like it was his idea - and you’re just so nice to him, so it’s not like he could decline it - that’d be rude! You come to the door, adorned with the skimpiest tank top he’d ever seen and shorts, Mike freezing in fear like if he moved you’d vanish. “Hey, Schmidt.” You smile, hugging him, causing him to thaw whatever that was and hug you back.

“Woah, it’s um..” He trails off, looking around your house. “Weirdly exactly how I imagined it.” He laughs, and you turn and tilt your head down, leading him to your room - in which he sat down on your bed, you laying down next to him and smiling. “So what do you wanna do?” You smile, and he knew if he told you the truth of everything he wanted to do to you, it could kill a pilgrim.

“Uh, I don’t know..” He trails off as you glance up at him, smiling softly. “Anything you wanna do, really.” He smiles back, and you quickly sit up. “Well,” You get close to his face, scrunching your nose. “We could watch a movie, or..” You trail off, beginning to think about it. “That’s fine by me, what do you wanna watch?” Mike smiled, and you shrug, “Why don’t you choose,” You return the smile, leaning over to grab the remote, in which he got a perfect glance of your ass, and as much as he wanted to respect you and look away - he couldn’t, and his eyes are directly glued to it before you look back at him, tossing him the remote.

He put on a random movie and leaned back next to you, and you subconsciously move closer, cuddling into his warm body. He didn’t know if you were trying to send him signals, or just genuinely trying to cuddle, innocently. You look up at him, smiling, and he really is torn between the two. He smiles down at you, and you glanced at his lips, suddenly feeling his breath against yours. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” He whispered, and you nodded, a hand in his hair as he kisses you, pulling him down further needy for more.

He laughed against your lips, and you get on top of him, subconsciously grinding against him as your lips press against eachothers, Mike pulling away momentarily as he grabs at your hips, looking you in the eye as you breathlessly stare at him, “What’s this feeling?” You whisper, genuinely confused and honestly, starstruck.

You had been very sheltered growing up, and had grown up quite religious - and as much as you tried to rebel from it, you were honestly a goody two shoes, until you turned eighteen. You immediately moved away and indulged yourself in everything you couldn’t when you were growing up under your parent’s roof. You knew what a crush was, and you certainly knew you got odd feelings sometimes, but you were sheltered, you didn’t know anything about stuff like that.

“Oh, baby,” He coos, moving you back next to him, “I forgot,” He whispered, brushing hair out of your face. You had told him about it once, while you were bored in the office together. He found it interesting, and offered to teach you if you were ever curious, (clearly trying to be slick about his moves, but you didn’t know that.) He smiled, kissing you. “You’re turned on.” He smiles, and you seem confused, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Do you want me to make it feel better?” He asked you, and you immediately nod, the heat between your legs unbearable as he sat next to you.

He smiles as he kisses you, his hands reaching down to your shorts. “Is this okay?” He whispered, looking up at you. You nod, biting your lip as his eyes lock on yours. “Words.” He clarified, and you exhaled breathlessly, “Please,” Looking down on him, and that was all he needed to pull down your shorts and underwear, resting at your knees as he grazes his fingers against your wet folds, smiling to himself as you whine lowly, pleasure taking over without his fingers even inside you yet.

Slowly, he inserted one finger, looking at you as you bite your lip, looking to the ceiling as he pumped it in and out of you, watching as you moan softly and grab at the bedsheets, Mike leaning you back against pillows as he works his way up to two fingers, your legs subconsciously closing as you approach your high fast, and he just uses his other hand to pry them open, grinding subconsciously himself against your bedsheet, finding pleasure just by pleasuring you.

You reach your high, crying out in pleasure and closing your legs as he smiles, putting his lips against yours before entering his fingers into your mouth, in which you suck, without even being asked to do so, your juices coating your mouth as he kissed you again, inserting his tongue into your mouth, tasting your juices too.

“Mike,” you whisper against his mouth as you part, and he opens his eyes, looking at you as you smile softly, “Thank you.” You smile, and he could fuck you right now, but he doesn’t because he knows how sensitive and unready you are, just smiles back, nodding. “I want to make you feel good.” You smiled, and his eyes widen. “Baby,” He started, a hand cupping your cheek, “You’re not ready yet,” He shook his head, and you bite your lip. “So teach me how.” You whisper, and Mike folded immediately, kissing you softly.

He lowers himself back down to your dripping pussy, smiling as he licks a stripe against it, you bucking your hips up due to both pleasure and sensitivity from your recent high. He begins to suck on your sensitive cunt, you crying out in pleasure as you grab onto his hair, causing Mike to go faster, grabbing at your thighs as he eats you out like he’s been starved for years.

It didn’t take you long to reach your second high, moaning loudly as you close your legs, trembling as he wiped his chin, looking up at you. “Mike,” You mumbled, and he shook his head. “Not yet, darling,” He coos again, crawling up next to you as he kisses your neck softly, “And frankly, I think you need a break.” He suggests, but you quickly shake your head, “No!” You almost shout, looking at him as he widened his eyes in shock. “Please.” You soften, and he can’t help but crumble to those eyes you’ve given him.

“Where’s your favorite teddy?” He smiled, and you looked around, grabbing the one above you. He sat it in-front of your dripping cunt, smiling. “If you can prove to me that you can ride this and reach your high without my help,” He smiled, “I’ll consider your request.” He kisses you, helping position you onto the bear. He knew he wouldn’t fuck you today, but he could at least help you a little bit more.

You slowly move yourself back and forth on it, your underwear at your ankles now as you rock against it, your juices soaking the poor bear as Mike pulls down his pants, taking out his cock and beginning to stroke it as he watched you pleasure yourself, moaning in unison with you as you put your hands infront of you, continuing to ride the teddybear as he sped up his process, coming closer to his high and pulling you and the bear closer, pumping himself faster as he finally came, his come leaking all over the bear as you rid yourself into it, and he couldn’t help himself from placing a kiss on your belly.

You slowed down, clearly reaching your high now too, and that’s when he took over, “Fuck it,” he mumbled under his breath, unable to hold himself back as he lifts you off the soaked bear, you letting out a soft moan as you’re pulled away from your high so abruptly, and laid on your back against more pillows, opening your eyes as Mike leaned down, placing a kiss against your lips before moving to your swollen pussy, placing another kiss against it as he pumped himself once more, aligning himself with your entrance.

And with that, he’s inside of you, and you moan out loudly as he sees the imprint in your stomach, holding back from going feral as he slowly fucks you, your walls clenching around him as you’re reaching that high you were denied just seconds ago, moaning out nonstop to a point where you put a hand over your mouth and close your eyes as your nails dig into his back, egging him on further.

He grabs your hand, removing it from your mouth as he smiled, “I wanna hear all those pretty noises,” He whispered breathlessly as he pins both wrists above your head now, sliding in and out of you with more speed as he whines, your legs closing around him as you came, but he continued to fuck you through it, biting your shirt and lifting it as he begins to suck on your boobs, you moaning in both pain and pleasure as he continued to fuck you.

Within seconds, he’s coming too - and collapsing next to you as he pulled you in on top of him, the once pristine silk bedsheets covered in both of your fluids now as he brings you in for a kiss, you hugging him as your entire lower body is still shaking.

[svmjaeyvn]

love maze, s.jy.

chapter nine pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER NINE: JEALOUSY

previous masterlist next

word count: 4.1k

warnings: minjun is being a stalker, that’s sort of it??

a/n: IM SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG. i’m working + doing an internship at the same time so im exhausted everyday since being an adult SUCKS so i’ve neglected writing (though i have a new idea for a smau lol) and this not that great but i wanted to provide something for you guys </3 jake is down horrendous and not even hiding it now it’s crazy

"PLEASE STOP STARING," Ni-ki whined, throwing an ice cube in Jake's direction who was perched at the counter with a giddy smile. You were on the other side of the store, in the midst of barring out drinks before turning to help your coworker with a unsatisfied customer.

It was different to see you in your element, of course to you it being a mere barista job but Jake couldn't deny how much a leadership position suited you. You were good at quite literally everything, barely paying him mind when he waltzed in 20 minutes ago due to the afternoon rush but seeming calm and collected as you handled the line of drinks that seemed never ending. You looked as pretty as ever in his eyes, your haired pulled up by the clip in your hair and bare skin that seemed to be glowing.

You were called in last minute by a fellow shift as they weren't able to come in due to an emergency. Knowing Ms. Cho would've been the one to cover, something you couldn't bare to make her do as she was meant to take the week off due to spraining her wrist, and not wanting to leave Ni-ki hanging you canceled on the previous study-date you had scheduled with Jake much to his disappointment.

Lo and behold though, said boy decided that he had all the time in the world to wait for you. After you called him on your break, excited that a coworker would be coming in to do the closing tasks, telling him you'd be off at 6:30 instead of 10, Jake stopped by an hour before your shift would end deeming that allowing him to treat you to dinner would make up for the raincheck.

"Bro honestly, I know she's your girlfriend but can't you go sit down at least," Ni-ki's voice breaks his thoughts once more. Jake merely rolled his eyes, waving off the boy who looked exasperated by his presence.

"Yah, whatever. You're just bitter 'cause you’re bitchless," Jake began to tease, watching as the younger boy rolled his eyes and discretely flipped him off without the other customers taking note.

There was a familiar jingle from the door, Ni-ki's eyes looking past him to greet whoever walked in but his face turned into one of visible disgust. Immediately making his way in your direction without a word, Jake curiously turned around with his brows frowned to see what caused such a reaction.

A small scoff left Jake's lips, watching Minjun b-line to where you were behind the bar with Ni-ki glued to your side and staring him down like a guard dog. A small smirk picks at his lips, Jake waiting patiently, watching from afar to see what he planned on saying as you'd be able to handle it yourself.

"___," Minjun spoke, attempting to gain your attention but you merely lifted your gaze for a second as you focused on the drinks you had sequenced. "Can we talk?"

"I'm busy," You said dryly, sending him a pointed look as you were on shift quite literally in the middle of working. "If you need something you can ask my other staff to help you,"

"Are you seriously going to ignore me?"

"Are you seriously showing up to my job when I told you to leave me alone?" You shot back, brow raising in disbelief. "It's harassment, do you want me to call the cops?"

Minjun bit his lip, seemingly collecting his thoughts to carefully piece what he intended to say next. "You're ignoring my texts, how else am I supposed to talk to you?"

"I blocked you," You answer with a small shrug. "I don't want to talk to you. We have no reason to either way, it was your idea to move on with our lives in the first place so I don't see what you need from me now,"

"It was a mistake," Minjun attempts but a loud scoff comes from your end at his words. Feeling yourself grow more and more annoyed, you take a second to collect your thoughts, having to silently remind yourself that there were a handful of other customers that you still needed to be portrayed to in a professional light.

Your eyes flickered to the left, feeling the familiar gaze boring into your side. You met Jake's look, his brows slightly pinched as he held an unreadable expression glancing over Minjun. His arms were crossed against his chest, leaned against the front counter while his head tilted in the smallest of ways meeting your eyes. Silently indicating whether of not you wanted him to intervene, you shook your head, turning over to Ni-ki who was still on gaurd just a step behind you.

"Can you take over for me?" You ask the younger boy, his eyes softening as he glanced down to you with a small nod. Telling Sooyun the same, you leave the two on the floor to handle the customer flow and walk away from Minjun without a word. He attempted to follow along the counter that kept you separated, only to stop short noting how you met Jake at the break that separated the workers and customer side.

"You okay?" Jake asks softly, his hand finding its place in your own as he traced his thumb over your palm in attempt to offer some ease to your mind.

"I don't know why he keeps trying," You mumble out, swallowing the lump in your throat while Jake pursed his lips. You had to admit, no matter how unaffected you attempted to seem, having Minjun back and weaseling his way into your life was slowly opening up old wounds that never fully healed. It felt exhausting seeing his face, much less feeling trapped in your own workplace since that seemed to be his resort to finding you no matter how many hints you've given to leave you be.

"You want me to call the guys and we can jump him out back?" Jake offers, the teasing in his voice caused you to laugh though the glint in his eyes made it hard for you to tell if he was entirely joking. "I could take him on my own but I'm sure Jay wants a few hits at him anyway,"

"So does Ni-ki," You snicker, glancing over to the boy who had his eyes trained on Minjun with a menacing glare. "I don't have the money to bail all seven of you out though so let's not do that,"

A cocky smile fell upon Jake's lips knowing well enough his next words would cause you to grimace. "It's okay baby, I'm rich remember?"

You roll your eyes but couldn't refrain from the small laugh that fell from your lips. "You're annoying," You huff, though the giggle that filtered through your words had Jake smiling from ear to ear. Leaning closer, he's quick to place a kiss to your lips, your eyes widening as you pulled away with a tsk. "I'm on the clock, stop making me look like a bad worker,"

"No one's looking," Jake reassures, not even sparing a glance around the room but he's sure of himself. His hands fell to your hips, pulling you in closer and technically he was right, the large pastry case and stack of boxes that you had yet to be able to put away had blocked a significant amount of view of where you two stood, someone would have had to come around the corner to see you two if they really wanted to.

A clear of someone's throat caused the two of you to pull away from the giddy bubble you were in. Your annoyance flooded back in a second while Jake lazily looked over his shoulder, his eyes lighting up taking note of Minjun who stood with a dark expression.

"What's up man?" Jake smiled, turning as he said so but still keeping one arm draped around your waist though you shifted slightly in your spot. His grip tightened feeling how you attempted to move, squeezing your hip as a silent way to tell you to stay in place at his side. "You need something?"

"Can you give us a minute?" Minjun's words were short and clipped, the visible annoyance dripping from his persona.

"Don't think so," He hummed with the click of his tongue. "M'names Jake," Holding out his hand with a cheeky smile, Jake waited for Minjun to introduce himself. You had to refrain from the laugh that wanted to spill from your lips, the obviously annoying but polite tactic one you wouldn't have guessed he'd play but it seemed to work better than being possessive or immediately hostile.

"Minjun," Was all he replied with, not bothering to complete the handshake Jake intended. Turning his gaze to you, he near pleaded in a softer tone. "Can we just talk?"

Jake let out a loud sigh, dropping his hand with the shake of his head. "You know, man, I wouldn't have held nothing against you but you're really making my girl uncomfortable," His previous bubbly expression was gone, now replaced with a bored one that shamelessly glanced over Minjun. "You know me personally, I don't go for girls I broke up with, especially after she told me to leave her alone and she has a new man. That's just me though,"

"No offense man, but I know you two just got together. Your new relationship doesn't compare to us," Minjun shrugs while you let out a laugh of disbelief. You and Jake were more comfortable together, by miles, in a short amount of time even if your relationship was based on a facade. After the first two months with Minjun, it felt as though you were walking on eggshells everyday to keep him around, a feeling you remember all too well and ridicule yourself for staying in for so long.

"I mean, you're the ex for a reason right? Our relationship s’not supposed to be like yours," Jake shrugs, a humorless laugh left his lips.

"You guys don't even make sense together!" Minjun was now speaking to you, gesturing between you both with an exasperated expression. "His life is completely different from yours and you know it, why waste time now when it won't even work out,"

You frowned yours brows, not knowing how much he had looked into Jake but either way, being so ambient on your differences seemed to rub you the wrong way. What exactly was he entailing? The fact that Jake was a party guy or he was rich? You grew up attached to the hip with Jay, sure you weren't directly apart of that life but you did know how to act with a cocktail dress and dinning etiquette when you needed to. You truly lacked nothing if the relationship was real and so far, Jake didn't either.

"It's cute to know you've been thinking about me," Before you were able to voice your thoughts, Jake beat you to it. His tone was teasing, though there was a slight edge to it indicating that the cat and mouse play going back and forth was something he began to grow tired of. His had squeezed your hip, somehow subconsciously knowing that your agitation grew as well, it a silent reminder that he was there for you.

Minjun scoffed, seemingly ready to retort but Jake shook his head. "You know, I don't really like being a dick and all," He starts, a small huff of air leaving his lips as if it pained him to continue. Jake's eyes flickered to you, he winked before the bored look was sent back toward Minjun. "But I do take advantage of the benefits that come from my family. Let's just make it easier on all of us since getting the lawyers involved is always so messy, yeah?"

Your eyes widened slightly, certainly not having any thought of any legal precedent but the threat should've been more than enough to get his point across. You felt a shiver run up your spine, thinking back to weeks ago when you got yourself into the situation you were now. She totally would've sued me.

There was a clear of the throat that broke the tension between you three. Ni-ki making his presence known as he sends Minjun a rather large, but most obviously fake, smile.

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave since I've had a few customer complaints from the situation that's occurring," He says in his peppy customer service voice, the faux sympathy in his tone adding salt to the wound. Looking around, you take note of the lie considering the lobby had cleared out significantly and not a single person in sight was paying any mind to what was occurring in the corner but you were certainly thankful for the deescalation.

Minjun doesn't say a word. His eyes lock with yours, the silent communication causing you to feel uneasy. For a split second, you almost felt bad for him seeing the look of pleading sincerity, for a second he seemed like the boy you once knew and you couldn't deny the slight tug in your heart that longed for the past. But as Jakes’ hand made its presences know on your back, you shook out of the temporary daze, you subtly moved behind him, using Jake as a shield of sorts and looking away.

You weren't naive enough to fall for that. And your thoughts proved right as Minjun's expression changed in an instant, the look of anger and annoyance familiar but he merely turned and made his way out of the shop without hesitation.

The bitter feeling caused your stomach to turn, picking at the skin of your fingers as you pulled out your phone to check the time.

"You okay noona?" Ni-ki carefully asked, His brows were pinched, a slight frown at his lips taking note of your visibly discomfort.

You nod, placing a smile on your features but it didn't quite reach your eyes. You looked behind him, seeing Sooyun working by herself. "I'm alright, I need to finish my pull before Hejin comes in so support where you can for now," You delegate, already heading toward the back room while footsteps followed soon after.

Jake sighed watching you walk away. He didn't know the full story, certainly didn't want to know the details of how in love you were, but he did know that Minjun was important enough to still bother you after some time apart. A small part of him was selfish, never wanting you to think of anyone like that but him, even though your relationship wasn't even real in the first place, but he knew that was his own jealousy.

The larger part of him felt upset for you though, the crestfallen expression you held more than enough for him to want to hold you and wash all your worries away. In a perfect world, Jake would make sure you'd never feel sad again. He vows to never be the one responsible for your tears, and if he were he'd kick himself and beg for the room in your heart to forgive him.

You stopped by the back freezer, facing the stainless steel doors and you could see Jake's reflection behind you. "I'm alright," You repeat, not having the confidence to turn around knowing your eyes were glossing over and the lump in your throat grew.

Jake hummed, watching you from afar. He watched as you began to count the frozen pastries, having to go over twice losing your train of thought and seemingly looking around aimlessly. You let out a sigh, leaning your head against the frozen rack as you shut your eyes, the cold air that wrapped around your body caused goosebumps to form along your arms, though it did well in stopping the tears that were built up to the brim.

"You know, you're technically not supposed to be back here," You mumble, a hint of amusement in your words though you were rather dejected.

Jake chuckled, shaking his head while you couldn't see it. The two of you stood in silence, not knowing what to say that would make it better. Heavy footsteps sounded as someone entered the back of the house, you peaking from behind the freezer door while Jake straightened up.

Hejin pointed a finger at you as she pulled her apron over her head. Your brows frowned, clicking on the tablet that was stuck to the door to see it only be 5:50. Her keys jangled in her pocket, the lollipop in her mouth muffling her words. "Go home,"

"What?" You let out a small laugh, amused by the loud groan she let out upon her apron getting stuck while pulling it down. "It's not 6:30,"

"I'm here now so go," Hejin huffs, pulling at her ponytail as she nods towards Jake, a silent acknowledgment to his presence but not bothering to ask why he was beside you. "I saw creeps-a-lot in the parking lot. The kid and Sooyun were blowing up my phone to get me here so I chased him away. Go home and relax, I'll make a incident report to let everyone and Mama Cho know to not talk about you and refuse him service from now on,"

Your lips pull into a frown, the tears once again welding up in your eyes. You covered your face out of embarrassment, Hejin clicking her tongue as she waved you off.

"Ay, don't cry," She tuts. "He's not worth it, new boyfriend hug her!" Hejin directs, gesturing between you and Jake causing you to let out a laugh. Jake tilted his head, his arms open as you reluctantly stepped into his embrace. You refused to look at him directly, hiding behind your hands though you could see the fondness in his expression as he stared down at you. "Good, now get out of here. Pretty girls should never cry over ugly men,"

With that, Hejin was out onto the floor. You stifled your laughter, heart pulling at the thought of your work family. She, in particular, was known to be rough around the edges, not one to show praise or direct affection but small acts like these were truly the most meaningful. You made a mental note to treat them in the future, thankful for the saving grace.

Jake pulled away from the hug slight, a small smile perking at his lips as he tilted his head. He gently pulled away your hands from your face, wiping away the few stray tears with the same fond look.

"You know, I don't know how to feel about you crying over another man," He teased causing you to roll your eyes. "Guess I have a lot of work to do to make you forgive him,"

"Forgive?" You echo, raising a brow not following his words.

Jake nods. "You know, for being an idiot but at least it allowed for me and you which is like, a million times better," He says in the most obvious voice causing you to snicker. "Forgive but not forget, or whatever it is that people say,"

"Have you been looking at pinterest quotes?" You laugh while Jake begins to nod wholeheartedly.

"You put me on, it's honestly so chill scrolling. I have like, five different boards I've made so far,"

"Rookie numbers," You tease causing him to mock offense.

"They all have certain aesthetics and are listed in order," He offers causing you to hum.

You nod in approval. "Better,"

Noting that your mood had seem to raise, Jake leans in, placing a small peck to the tip of your nose causing you to let out a small squeal. Your face scrunches up, pulling away from him while he lets out a laugh.

"C'mon, you owe me your time and I think I have the perfect idea to get your pretty little mind off everything,"

"YOU’RE JOKING?"

"What?"

You sent Jake a pointed look, smiling down at the excited animal that jumped into your arms, licking the skin of your cheek while your heart nearly bursted at the sight of her tail wagging so happily. "We've been faking it for over a month and you decided to just tell me you had a dog?"

"Her name's Layla," He laughs, crouching down to the level which you were sat on the floor. As soon as you walked into the door of the unfamiliar apartment, you were greeted by soft paws jumping at your leg along with excited barks for attention. "This is my brother's place, she's a family dog but he has her most of the time since my parents are always out of town. He's on a trip with his friends so he asked me to watch her for the week," Jake cooed as he pet Laylas fur, eyes full of affection and love as she leaned into his touch.

“I’ll watch her for the week,” You smile, gaining her attention once more as you scratched at the spot just behind Laylas’ ears. Her eyes shut as you did so, a small giggle leaving your lips as the dog visibly relaxed to your petting. “I’ll keep her company while you party or whatever you do in that frat house,”

Jake rolled his eyes, his view set on you but you were far too focused on Layla to care. “I haven’t gone to a party in weeks, and if I do you’re with me,” He says pointedly as you merely hum.

“Exactly, you can go do what you want. I’ll stay here with the cutest little puppy I’ve ever seen,” The latter half of your sentence was spoken in a high voice, cooing at Layla who seemed to be happily responsive to it.

Though he liked seeing how well you got along with his childhood pet, Jake tsked. Maybe it was a bad idea bringing you to see her, all of your attention would go to the little border collie instead of him which, admittedly, he couldn’t have.

“What I want,” Jake starts, leaning over to flood your view. “Is for you to not love my dog more than me,” He finished, dangerous close to your lips as you blinked, a small snort leaving your lips.

“Well for one, I barely tolerate you so Layla wins by a long shot,” You tease causing his lips to pout. Lightly pushing Jake away, he ends up sitting directly in front of you, Layla happily pouncing into his lap but still begging for you to provide her with scratches as she rolled over onto her back to expose her stomach. “And two, you can’t be jealous over your own dog. She’s just too cute,”

Jake sighed half heartedly. “You kicking me to the curb now for my dog?”

“Precisely,” You nod, a wide grin playing at your lips that you were unable to resist. It was still between the two of you for a moment, Jake taking the silence to gently place Layla down onto the ground beside you. You rose a brow, noting how he inched closer causing you to move back. “Hey~”

His arms were suddenly thrown around your body, one around your waist while the other was behind your head, blocking the impact of him suddenly tackling you to the hardwood floor. Your laughter filled the air, arms stuck under the weight of his chest and your faces inches apart.

“Too bad, you’re not allowed to get rid of me,” Jake huffs though there was an amused smile playing at his lips. “Say you like me more,”

You gaped in disbelief. “Are you serious?” The response to your question ended up with Jake’s fingers dancing along the skin of your waist, your shirt riding up and him knowing how ticklish you were as you began to squirm beneath him. “H-hey! Okay, s-stop—”

“Say it,” Jake taunts, his laughter mixing with yours.

“O-okay—”

Layla’s loud barks suddenly broke the air before the view of her jumping onto Jake’s head was seen. Your laughs were now from seeing how he yelped at the sudden help you received, rolling off of your body and with Layla still attacking his face with an abundance of kisses, you sat up. Now straddling Jake’s waist, you returned the favor of poking your fingers into his side, moving until you found a spot by his ribs that caused him to squirm around.

“Hey! You can’t team up against me,” Jake called out, unable to move either of you due to the way you sat and how Layla was now perched on his chest to get a better angle of sloppy kisses that he attempted to block. “She’s trying to lick my nose! Baby please—”

“What? I’m giving you attention like you wanted,”

my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @enczen @vanvity @dreamiestay @caitysdelusions @ikkeumyluv @v3lv3tsin

[eternal-ascensionism]

Song Fic maybe???

Hii! I have a request for you, its a Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader idea with the song "Love Again" by Dua Lipa. Where maybe reader has been through some tough/ toxic relationships and swears off of romance once they joined the avengers but then when Bucky returns from Wakanda the reader begins to develope a crush on Bucky as he flirts with them after having a crush on her from the moment he met them. Maybe the reader thoughts align with the lyrics of the song and in the end the reader lets their heart open and starts dating Bucky after he knocks down all of thier walls :) (Also reader can be female or GN and I tried to give you some like guide but didn't want to restrict you!) Hope you have a good day :D

Ok first anon I love you sm for puttin me on this song it BANGS and I love this idea sm!!!

This is technically more like avengers assistant!reader because I suck at finding cohesive ways to fit an original character into the avengers team ((I have tried since I was 16 LMAO)) but hopefully it still works! Hope you enjoy!

Heaven’s Right Here, Baby 

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Themes: Angst, comfort, fluff

Warnings:Angst; discussions of: war, PTSD, abusive relationships, trauma bonding, etc. (if you pick up on any I’ve missed pleeease let me know!!)

💗

I glance upward as I hear the rumble above, eyes squinting against the sun’s rays. For some unknown reason, I’d been expecting some grand aircraft; a sleek jet or maybe one of the large helicarriers I’d seen in the hangar back at the Avengers’ HQ when I first arrived. What I was met with was a rather modest plane I’d estimate could fit ten passengers at best. It didn’t really matter, I knew the man aboard couldn’t care less about materialism or prestige. Still, he was one of our team’s brightest and most respected members. It simply felt odd to receive him back via such underwhelming conditions. 

Up until this point, I’d only ever worked basic civilian jobs or the occasional temp gig. However after a particularly traumatic breakup, I’d decided that being miserable and barely living above the poverty line wasn’t cutting it anymore. It took a good few years and a considerable amount of ass kissing, but I eventually got offered a role as an assistant of sorts for Nick Fury in New York City.

Natasha was the first person I’d found myself bonding with; the first night I’d spent in the tower was a long one, and she had spent a large chunk of it comforting me by making me laugh with her Captain America impression. Funnily enough, I’d meet Steve Rogers the next morning in the kitchen. He walked into the kitchen and shook my hand, exchanging names and pleasantries with me as the rest of the team filtered in. I watched anxiously as they all began to dig into the food; I couldn’t pinpoint why, but I found myself desperate to impress each of my new coworkers.

Introductions were made, meals were finished, and I beamed at the compliments toward my cooking. To my surprise the conversations seemed to flow naturally. I couldn’t help but linger on one man in particular, though. His metal arm gleamed brilliantly in the lighting of the spacious dining area. He was a man of few words. Bucky, they called him. The next month consisted of me making a fool of myself through several missions, distracted each time by that smolder and the tortured look behind his eyes. It was a look I knew all too well. Still, I didn’t dare approach sergeant Barnes out of fear. Whether it be fear of authority or my lingering fear of men, I wasn’t sure. Didn’t make much difference; the less interactions, the better. The last thing I needed was to get in over my head during what’s meant to be my fresh start.

Today was his return from the last stage of a program for training and rehab that began long before I came into the picture. From what I understood, it all began a few years back when the late King T’Challa harbored Bucky; partly as a favor to Steve, and partly out of respect for the sergeant. He saw James Buchanan Barnes beyond the outgrown hair and the guarded demeanor. He saw someone worth fighting to save. By the time I’d arrived, his reserved nature had let up a bit. We both exhibit similar acts such as hypervigilance, but I suppose that’ll always remain in some small way. We’re part of the team tasked with ensuring the safety of earth, after all.

I wave a hand to Bucky as he steps off the walkway, a bag slung over his shoulder. When he sees me and the team, he shoots us a small grin. It wasn’t until he made it halfway across the asphalt that I registered the changes of his left arm. The once scuffed and faded titanium had been replaced with a new, higher quality gold and silver prosthetic.

“Vibranium,” Bucky offers, having picked up on my stare. “Shuri helped me.”

I felt a pang in my chest as he looked at it proudly. It was the same ache I’d gotten every time I’d bore witness to sergeant Barnes letting pieces of his real self shine through. I could try and lie to myself, but I’m grown. I know what it means to have feelings for someone. As much as I’d fought to stay neutral from the beginning, something about Bucky had always pulled at my heart. I would never let him know, but he’d melted some part of me that I’d spent years freezing out. Still, I’d vowed to keep to the professional relationship I’ve created with the former soldier. I couldn’t risk letting something like random feelings of fondness jeopardize my job. I am here to help others and to run away from my demons, nothing more and nothing less.

-

“I never thought that I would find a way out, I never thought I’d hear my heart beat so loud. I can’t believe there’s something left in my chest anymore”

-

Upon our entry to the tower, we were met by the quiet humming of music. Puzzled, we all made our way to the lounge area where we found Tony behind the bar in the corner. He raised a glass of amber-colored liquid in our direction as a greeting. “Welcome back, Barnes. Dig the new scrap pieces.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and pointed to the speakers built into the tall ceiling overhead. “Thanks. What’s with the music?” Swinging around the bar to stand in front of us, Tony smirked.

“What? Can’t we have a little homecoming celebration? We missed you, bud.” Before he could reply, Natasha interjected, grabbing Tony’s free hand.

“In that case, let’s dance. You’ve only got six months before your wedding and Pepper is gonna kill you if you step on her white heels.”

I watch in glee as Nat drags Tony away to the open space near the couch to practice his moves for the big day. Everyone branched off into pairs, leaving me standing at the bar with a can of soda while Bucky perched on the arm of the recliner. These little moments of joy made being alive less painful each day. I continued observing my teammates for a while before hearing someone clear their throat from beside me. “Wanna dance, doll?”

The low timbre gave him away without so much as a sideways glance. It was sergeant Barnes. Asking me to dance. With him. Ignoring the cold sensation shooting through my veins, I threw him a smile and nodded. Offering me a hand, we make our way over to the spot where the others are swaying to the crooning of an early 1900s love song. With the way Bucky and Steve perked up as it came on, I’d be willing to bet they were grooving to it back in the days of its first release. The thought warms my heart, and I risk placing my head on Bucky’s shoulder as we let the music guide us. Maybe trusting him for one dance wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it’s okay to let my guard down just this once.

-

“I never knew I had it in me to dance anymore, but god damn, you’ve got me in love again.”

-

Love. That’s what it was. I hated to admit it to myself, it scared me to the point of lost sleep and vomiting, quite frankly. But I couldn’t bear pretending any more. Bucky had been back in New York for all of two weeks before we started being sent on missions together to gather intel on a potential threat. I didn’t know the details, they only ever told me what was absolutely necessary to carry out a job. They explained it was so that if I were to be caught, I could play dumb as a simple civilian caught up in bigger matters on accident. You never know what tactics someone may have to pull the truth from you, but there’s nothing to be extracted if I truly know nothing. However, at the current moment, I wished for little more than to be pulled from this room and dragged elsewhere. I tear my eyes from my debrief notes to stare back at the disheveled man sat across from me. I had yet to fully process what he asked.

“What?” His frown deepens, and I almost regret asking him to repeat himself.

“Do you think I’m someone you could love?”

I was completely taken aback. Sure, the sergeant and I had some pretty deep conversations in the past. We weren’t incredibly close before his return, both of us being highly traumatized and reserved people; but pair long missions with hours spent staring off into the night watching for movement and we had begun to fill the void. He relayed stories of war and torture, and I recounted memories of toxic relationships and a traumatic childhood. It only seemed natural that we eventually progressed into becoming each other’s confidant over the last few months. When we accepted the latest task I expected us to exchange banter, maybe make up some new inside jokes. I didn’t expect it to devolve into a raw and emotional conversation about our past hurts and shortcomings. Bucky had opened up about the women he’d met before the war, branching off into a story where he’d tried to make something work with a woman he’d met briefly in Romania before he’d had to go back on the run. I could see the pain in his expression, I could hear the slight waver in his voice as he tried making sense of where he’d gone wrong in life to deserve it all.

Then he looked up at me, those big grey-blue eyes shining with unshed tears, and he asked me the one question that I know will change everything. Is he someone I could love? When he asked, I realized I already know the answer. I already know I love him.

“Yes.” He blinks at me, seemingly in shock, but I just continue. “I don’t have to think about it, Buck. I love you because you are worthy of being loved. I love you because you are inherently lovable. I love how you care about people, I love how you fight fiercely to protect them. I love how intelligent you are, and how you never use that against others. I love how you make me feel safe. I love how you’ve never given me a reason to question your motives like all the other men I’ve let into my life. I love you, and I didn’t even think I could love again.” I dabbed my sleeve over the wetness pooling under my eyes, chuckling at my own intense reaction. Discussing my feelings was never easy, but it just came naturally with Bucky.

Two hands came up to hold my cheeks as Bucky looked at my face, perhaps studying me for any sign of deceit or sarcasm. I meant every word, though. He wrapped me up in a tight hug, and after he pulled back, I felt a sudden confidence. I leaned in and pressed a soft peck to his stubble-covered cheek, delighting in the light red tint that washed over his face.

“I love you too, doll. I didn’t wanna scare you away, you mean the world to me. Just didn’t imagine you’d feel the same. Not that I’d blame you, with what you’ve told me about the others I wouldn’t blame ya if you never spoke to a man again.” Bucky laid a gentle kiss to the back of my hand that still rested in his. “Honored to be the one you trust.”

“Never have I ever met somebody like you, used to be afraid of love and what it might do. But god damn, you’ve got me in love again”

—!—

HELLO I REALLY HOPE THIS WAS WHAT YOU WANTED! I’m sorry it took me so long to finish I kept branching off with different ideas before settling on one cohesive concept and hopefully I did a decent job following your prompt! Thank you sooo much for the request this was super fun to write and honestly kickstarted my productivity which has been in the shitter since like pre 2020 lmao bless you guys <333

[thebroccolination]

THE WAY KRIST INCLUDES WOMEN

[left: Krist and Namtan; right: Krist and his sister]

Once, my friend had the opportunity to work with a singer from a group I used to follow. When the project was done, I asked my friend what she thought of him, and she said, “He’s fine,” but I could tell something about the experience bothered her. After a few minutes of talking about the job itself, she said, “You know what it was about him? He doesn’t care about women. Like, he wasn’t rude to me or anything. He didn’t say anything negative about women, and he didn’t treat any woman on the project poorly that I saw. He just doesn’t think about us. At all. Whenever I met with him to discuss the project, or whenever we’d have small talk about culture or society or whatever, it just became abundantly clear that his whole life and worldview is very male-centric. I’m used to men being openly patronizing or downright malicious, and like, this guy’s whole career has been female-facing, so I went into those interactions expecting him to be either extremely cool with women or a total misogynist. But nah. He’s just, y’know. A man who doesn’t include women in his world. Other than that, he’s fine.”

I thought about that for the rest of the week. I’d been a fan of this guy’s group for years, and his group had been all men in a company of all men. He’d been on TV shows with women, of course, and I remember him being friendly with some former costars, but all the people I knew from his inner circle were, in fact, men. I was in my late twenties at the time, and I remember thinking, “There’s something inherently odd and exploitative about famous men who make their career off the money and support of women but don’t include women in their personal lives.”

It’s something I’ve paid attention to ever since. When I became a fan of Boun, for example, I noticed that he has female friends from university, and that he was extremely protective of all the girls in Wabi Sabi, which made me feel confident that he was a good egg. By that same token, I’ve also noticed when other actors are predominantly friends with men, and when they only seem to view women as support systems or sources of personal validation.

Krist is just…comfortable with women. And more importantly, women are comfortable with Krist.

[Krist and Mook]

Back in 2020, I noticed two things about Krist regarding women: 1) he had a crush on Namtan (don’t we all), and 2) after SOTUS, GMMTV steered Krist away from BL to star in lakorns opposite women.

That was fairly standard. Just a famous dude existing around women for work. No red flags, no green.

What I noticed over time is that Krist is still close with a lot of the women he worked with, and that his inner circle includes women.

And when I say those women are comfortable with him, I mean that not just in a, “He’s fine,” sort of sense. They’re comfortable goofing around with him, being physically close to him, and hanging out with him. They speak highly of his character, about how he treats them as a senior, a junior, a coworker.

[left: Krist and Mook; right: Aye with Krist and Gawin]

Last year, Aye went so far as to say that in all of GMMTV, she felt closest to Krist and Gawin partly because they made her experience making Be My Favorite so warm and comfortable when usually these male-oriented productions can alienate the women involved. She’d also worked with Krist before, and she said she feels completely at ease with him.

The work part I had backed up recently by a woman my friend spoke to: she said Krist goes out of his way to include every single person involved in a production. Not just the actors, but the crew and the staff as well. Rather than form a small clique with the people he already knows, Krist makes everyone feel like they’re in his clique. He treated everyone with respect regardless of age, gender, or role in the production.

[left: Krist and Godji; center: Godji’s birthday message to Krist; right: Jennie’s birthday message to Krist]

He’s famously devoted to his mothers, both his industry mother Godji who’s been looking out for him for years, and his birth mother pictured below from an episode of ArmShare (with English subtitles) in which Arm features Krist’s mother and shows how lovely and supportive their relationship is.

In the late 90s and early 00s, Krist’s family went into debt, and he took thankless jobs in university to try and help them out of it. The success of SOTUS is what got his family all the way into the green, and to this day Krist freely gives his parents access to the money he makes so they can live a better life. They still work (his mother’s office is pictured above), but because of Krist, they’re able to relax into their older age.

He’s also been actively protective of MilkLove over the past several months. When he interviewed them for Livehouse, they were noticeably open and confident in their answers. And yesterday, when MilkLove, KristSingto, and JoongDunk arrived in Singapore for their fan meetings today, the chaos in the airport created some genuine panic among security and the artists themselves.

In the video, you’ll see a man in a red shirt who was dogging MilkLove with his phone stretched out to capture himself with them. Krist, in gray, stretched his arm out to shield them from him. He and Singto did their best among the madness to protect MilkLove from the overzealous fans and from the confused security guard who pushed Milk out of the way thinking she was a fan, too.

Surging crowds like that are terrifying enough for anyone, but especially for women when they’re being actively pursued by larger men with no respect for their physical space. Krist and Singto both understand from personal experience how wild these situations can get, and I’m relieved they were both so quick to act for MilkLove’s safety.

I thought I must’ve made a thread or a post about this before, but I only really mentioned it once in a tweet a few months ago, so after this incident with MilkLove, I decided to zero in on one of my favorite things about him. Because these days, it’s not enough for me that a man is neutral about women. For me to support any man’s career, he has to be actively kind, actively supportive, and actively sharp with the men who aren’t.

The days of neutrality as the standard are firmly in the past, and it’s important to hold expectations for men high—especially famous men.

[voraciousvore]

Voretober Day 19: Takeout

Day 1 | Previous (18) | Next (20)

Content Warning: NSFW/18+! Sexual content, M/m g/t soft fatal vore, unwilling to willing (I was in a hell of a mood writing this lol)

Word Count: 3.4k

Author's Note: This oneshot can be read with no context. However, if you're familiar with my stories, Connie is the tiny businessman that almost gets eaten by Chester in this chapter of The Half-Blood Giant.

------ Takeout ------

Connie hated everything. He worked at a Chinese restaurant doing takeout deliveries, and he hated his job. He hated the smell of fried food and soy sauce that permeated the whole joint. He hated the garish paint colors on the cracked walls. He hated his stupid frumpy uniform. He hated his boss. He hated rude, demanding customers. He hated being forced to put on a fake smile and socialize with people. His hated what his life had become. 

His old job had been decent, before this hell had taken over his existence. Before, he’d worked at a boring white-collar desk job, where he didn’t have to be on his feet all day. It was perfect, except for one critical flaw: The job was located on the large side of the city, where the giants lived. 

Connie hated giants—though he hadn’t initially. He’d been strangely fascinated with them, despite the nagging undercurrent of instinctive fear that never left him while in their presence. They seemed to be just like humans, yet so much larger, so much grander. He had even developed a certain... fondness for a particular giant at his work, one that was handsome and gentle and kind and knew to move and speak softly around humans. 

Unfortunately, this gorgeous specimen of a giant man already belonged to another, a human woman no less. The jealousy and resentment Connie felt as a result poisoned any enjoyment he had for his job. He became grumpy and bitter as he was forced every day to watch his crush fawn over another, yearning to possess what he couldn’t have. The last straw came when, on his way home after a late night of overtime, a random giant snatched him up off the sidewalk and nearly devoured him. He miraculously survived the encounter, but he was done with dealing with giants. He quit and refused to return to the large side of the city. 

Regrettably, the small side where the humans resided was hardly fertile in regards to employment opportunities. Connie couldn’t find another cushy job like his old one, so he was forced to scrounge for whatever employer would take him. His financial reserves diminished, to the point where he had no choice but to sell his car and move into a roach-infested apartment, uncomfortably close to the gigantic barrier that divided the giants from the humans. 

So that’s how he found himself working as a delivery driver at a sketchy Chinese restaurant on the bad side of town. He didn’t even have his car anymore, and his employer didn’t provide him with one, so he had to ride a stupid crusty bike with a big basket on the back to carry the orders. By the end of his shift, he always came home greasy and sweaty and tired. He hated being dirty. 

Tonight, he was working the late shift. Business was slow, which was bad for Connie despite less work. Fewer orders meant fewer tips. The phone rang, and he watched with a vacant expression as his bored coworker answered with her dumb fake customer service voice. Her expression changed to one of confusion.  

“I’m sorry, did you say forty?” She wrote the order down on a slip, along with an address, and processed the payment. “Very well, sir. It’ll probably be around thirty minutes.” She hung up the phone with a pinched face. 

“Delivery?” Connie asked as she handed off the order to the kitchen. 

“Yeah… but it was a really weird order. 40 servings of fried rice with zero entrees. I’ve never heard of such a thing.” 

“Huh? Let me see that.” Connie grabbed the slip and checked the address. The street looked vaguely familiar, so he searched the location on his phone. His heart sank as his suspicions were confirmed. “Swift Street… that’s on the large side, isn’t it? Why would a giant order from a human restaurant?” 

His coworker shrugged, indifferent to Connie’s rising concern. “Fuck if I know. Either way, the guy paid, so you gotta deliver it.” 

Connie wanted to protest, but the words died on his lips as his boss glared at him from across the room. He didn’t want to get fired; he desperately needed the money if he was ever going to pull himself out of this hole. He shut his mouth, debating what to do as he observed the cooks frying up pans of rice and stuffing them in countless takeout boxes. He tried to quell his rising anxiety as he stacked the boxes high in his bike basket. His instincts were screaming at him to refuse, as he was reminded of unpleasant past encounters, but he felt trapped. 

“The tip for this job better be good,” he grunted as he decisively mounted his bike. He rode down the street, feeling like a stupid teenager on his stupid bike. He navigated the roads, past the occasional car, until he reached the railway station to cross the barrier. 

He used to board these railcars every day for his old commute. The automatic door slid open to an empty car, as untouched and pristine as he remembered, and he piled in with his bike. The door whooshed shut and the car rocketed away at a blistering pace. Connie felt the track drop like a roller coaster, along with his stomach, as the car shot down underground below the barrier before racing back up to the surface, to the opposite side. 

He couldn’t see much outside, since it was dark in comparison to the lit interior. Humungous silhouettes and shadows blocked out the distant glowing orbs of massive streetlights high in the sky. He felt sickness and fear clawing up his throat, restricting his breathing. He wanted to flee, but he was encased in steel and glass. He gripped the handlebars of his bike with clammy hands. 

All too soon, he arrived at his stop. He hesitated before stepping out of the railcar into the human-sized station, which was covered by an awning that concealed him from the giant world beyond. The car raced away, and Connie was alone. His heart rattled his ribs with frantic hammering and bile rose into his mouth, but he forced it back down. He was here now; no going back. 

A terrifying memory coursed through him, of his last night in the giant city. Walking alone, through a quiet evening just like this, briefcase in hand, before titanic fingers closed around him in a painful pinch. Thundering footsteps that thudded through him, a yawning maw below that threatened to send him to an acidic grave. He shuddered hard. The giant had, by some incredible stroke of fate, stopped before eating him, and apologized for losing control of his cravings, but Connie had been forever scarred by the traumatic ordeal. He’d had nightmares for weeks about it.  

Nightmares, that strangely enough had turned to sick fantasies. He’d dreamed about his giant crush doing the same thing, dropping him into his cavernous mouth and swallowing him whole, and he’d woken up covered in hot sweat and hard as a rock. He couldn’t understand the conflicting feelings that had awakened in him, of terrible fear and forbidden desire, a perverse thirst for impossible thrill and danger. Yet, in his waking hours when he was more rational, he’d been too scared to return to his desk job. He felt like a coward—a lowly, pathetic, disgruntled coward. 

He didn’t like that sentiment, not at all. He took a deep breath, hopped on his bike, and sped off into the night. The cool air rushed past his feverish skin as he pedaled like his life depended on it. He could only hope, in the vast streets, he would be too small to be noticed. He was grateful at least to be on a fast-moving bike instead of on foot, though he had to question if he’d be fast enough to outrun a giant predator. Probably not. 

Fortunately, the streets were mostly deserted due to the late hour. Connie was jittery and on edge, keeping to the shadows as best he could. The chirps of giant crickets, instead of providing a soothing ambience, sounded too loud to his ears. He nearly had a heart attack as a massive beast of a bug hopped in front of his path like a deer. He skirted around it and kept moving.  

He jumped his bike over sizeable cracks in the sidewalk and crossed enormous rocky stretches of asphalt and rough pavement, a challenge that absorbed a significant chunk of focus. Even so, he monitored his surroundings with obsessive attentiveness. In every looming shape he saw an eldritch horror, just waiting to emerge from the darkness and snatch him up. 

The threatening growl of an oncoming vehicle, heralded by distant beams of headlights, sent Connie into a panic. He hauled his bike into a patch of weeds as the mammoth metal monster roared past, blowing the tall grass in a terrible bluster. Connie hugged his arms around his bike as he hauled it back to the sidewalk, his heart racing. The red taillights of the giant vehicle turned around a distant corner, leaving him in an eerily quiet stretch of road. Giant houses rose up like silent sentinels miles into the sky, looking down on him. A bead of sweat rolled down his spine as he mounted his bike again. He couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. 

After what felt like an eternity of biking, Connie reached the correct house. He rode up to the porch, on an expansive sidewalk that cut through two fields of tall grass that comprised the front lawn. He stopped, unsure how to proceed. The wooden stairs were too tall for him to climb, each one being easily triple his height. Even if he made it to the towering door, there was no chance in hell he’d be able to ring the bell. Far above him, he saw the flutter of the curtains in the window. His breath caught in his chest. 

Connie hadn’t interacted with giants in a while, since he sought to avoid them at all costs. Even with the reminder of the megalithic buildings all around him, he wasn’t ready for the impossible scale of the colossal man that opened the door out of his reach. He nearly fainted at the sight: a fat, hairy, gargantuan giant, with a prominent belly hanging out from a sweat-stained discolored tank top that was too small to conceal it. He had a face like a bulldog, with unkempt dark hair, a scraggly mustache, and whiskers on his chin and neck too sparse to call a beard. Huge shoes plodded on the porch platform, creaking the wood under the giant’s prodigious weight. He breathed heavily as he descended from the steps down to the cement, rumbling the ground beneath him enough to rattle the basket on Connie’s bike. 

Connie gaped up, speechless, pinned in place like a bug in a display case. The giant scratched his belly and grunted. As he examined the tiny man at his feet, his lips twisted into a sinister smile, exposing large crooked teeth. Connie let out an involuntary whimper. The handlebars of his bike slid through his fingers and it crashed to the ground, dropping takeout boxes full of rice all over the pavement. 

The giant frowned, and Connie panicked. He turned tail and fled like a frightened rabbit. He got to the end of the square of sidewalk before a thick pair of fingers pinched the back of his shirt and lifted him clean off the ground. Connie yelped as he saw the ground plummet below him in a sickening rush of vertigo. Cold sweat bled from his pores as a pair of huge dark eyes hovered before him with a menacing glare. A pudgy finger, thicker around than his entire body, poked at him with curiosity. 

“Hmmm,” the giant rumbled. “I thought you’d be bigger.” 

“H-huh?” Connie stuttered with confusion. “No, no, I’m a human, you ordered from a human restaurant... you must’ve made a mistake...” 

The enormous man didn’t acknowledge his words and continued to speak. “And those limbs of yours are so scrawny. Hardly any meat on ’em.” The giant plucked at his chin hairs. “Ah well. You’ll do, I suppose.” 

“E-excuse me?” Connie sputtered. The giant didn’t respond, instead bending over to retrieve the diminutive bike with the rice boxes, scooping everything up into a spacious palm. He huffed with substantial lungs as he straightened back up and lumbered into his house. Connie felt sick as he dangled precariously from the giant's grip, the world swimming before his eyes. He was deeply unsettled, being so high up, even more so with where he was being carried. “H-hey, wait a second, where are you taking me? P-put me down!”  

The giant persisted in ignoring him as he shut the door behind him. Connie was electrified with fear. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He didn’t dare to think what this giant man had planned for him, but it couldn’t be anything good. The giant trudged into a huge kitchen space, though it felt cramped with his hulking girth filling the space. He held up the bike and gazed at it for a moment, spinning the back wheel with the tip of his finger as if it were a child’s toy, before setting it aside. He opened a cupboard and extracted an immense dinner plate, placing it on the countertop with a dull clatter. He began to methodically crush the boxes of rice between his digits over the plate, releasing their contents and casting the packaging into the garbage. 

“P-p-please, Mr. Giant, let me go. You don’t have to give me a tip or anything. I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again,” Connie pleaded, his voice rising in pitch as terror shot through him. “I apologize for dropping the food, I didn’t mean to anger you-” 

“Shut up,” the giant boomed with mild irritation. Connie clammed up, still trembling uncontrollably. His teeth chattered in his skull as the multitudes of rice orders produced a pile that still looked small on the oversized plate. Connie yelped with fright as the giant unexpectedly raised him up and tore at his clothes, stripping them off with a single tug of his goliath fingers. He plunked the tiny man, stark naked, onto the plate. 

Connie jumped to his feet, but was flicked back down with a finger that felt like a sledgehammer on his back. He made another attempt, only to fall over as the plate was lifted beneath him. He bounced up and down on the plate as it rocked with every stride of the giant, until the plate landed on an extensive dinner table. The giant seated himself, looming over poor Connie with his bulging fat pecs at the human’s eye level. 

“Nooooo,” Connie moaned, comprehending his fate. He realized that escape was impossible, and running from such a titanic being would be futile. No matter what, he was going to die. He flinched as the giant raised his thick arm above him, and a dark liquid splashed all over him and the bed of rice. The strong odor of soy sauce smacked his nose. 

“You’ll do for a snack, I suppose,” the giant growled, thudding his arm back on the table with a crash. Connie jolted, but the panic coursing through his blood and muscles had no other outlet except for violent quivering. He cried softly as a fork with prongs as long as his couch scooped up enough rice to feed an entire family. Forty orders of rice would be maybe a couple of bites for the giant, if that. 

“Why?” Connie whined. “Why would you do this? I won’t be nearly enough to fill your belly.” 

“Mmmm... for the novelty of live prey, I suppose,” the giant thundered, finally deigning to respond to Connie’s outbursts. He chewed the mouthful of rice thoughtfully. “I’ve heard humans taste exceptionally delicious.” His capacious stomach roared hungrily beneath the table, as if the conversation had whetted his appetite. He swallowed and grinned, a dribble of drool running down his chin. Connie watched the lump bob in his pudgy neck with consternation. 

“I’m a person, not food,” Connie argued desperately. “I have a life. I have family. I have...” He stopped, closing his mouth. His pleas felt like bitter lies. His life was torture. His family didn’t care about him. He had nothing: no money, no friends, no lovers. He had nothing but regrets and sorrows. 

His thoughts soured further as he thought about his past life, the memories flashing by like the windows on a train. His crush. That handsome giant at his old job, whom he yearned for with all his heart. His reminiscing took a darker turn, as he was reminded of his secret somnolent fantasies, of his benevolent dream man swallowing him whole. Those powerful dreams scratched a primordial itch within him that he couldn’t understand or explain exactly why they resonated so deeply, only that he needed them badly, despite his fear of the deadly consequences. 

The giant grinned with droll amusement, observing Connie’s violent emotional upheavals. He dug his fork under the tasty morsel and lifted him up to his face. Connie didn’t protest or fight, slumping limply on the fork as he approached the line of plush lips. He watched as the lips parted before him and the maw gaped open wide, revealing a soggy cavern of flesh lined with craggy ivory teeth. A breath originating from deep within the cavity flushed him with warmth. 

The fork thrust him inside. He splatted on the cushion of the massive wet tongue, which rippled with purpose, absorbing his flavor. The teeth closed in a cage around him and the mouth enveloped him in a smothering embrace, the tongue wrapping around him, rolling over him like a wave, weighing heavily on his tiny frame. Connie gasped for breath as every inch of his skin was caressed with slimy taste buds, rubbed down, and drenched with saliva. The sensations were so real, so overstimulating, so intense, to the point where he could barely handle it. As terrified as he was, the experience was... 

He was going to die anyway; there was no point in denying, or clinging to false hope, or holding himself back. He let go. He cast aside his shame and guilt and self-loathing with reckless abandon. He allowed himself to unleash the erotic feelings he’d been holding back, to fantasize, to indulge. He imagined the object of his desire, his special giant, his secret forbidden lover, rolling him around on his tongue. This was his mouth, and he had chosen Connie as a treat to satiate his hunger. 

He grew hard with arousal, grinding his groin against the giant’s tongue and moaning with pleasure. The tongue slammed him against the teeth, dragged him along the molars, and pressed him up against the hard palate at the top like a passionate lover. He was slurped into a cheek and sucked on, then tossed back over the crest of teeth towards the gullet. He blushed as his heart thrummed and sang with joy. He felt so alive, in a way he had never felt in all his years of life, especially not in his more recent darker days. 

He slid headfirst into the gullet, wriggling with unrestrained passion. The walls of the throat crushed him in a powerful embrace as the giant swallowed. Connie could hardly breathe as he was squeezed down, but the pressure on his dick, the heat and the wetness, made him burst. He ejaculated as he plunged down in the throes of ecstasy. Just when he felt like he wouldn’t be able to bear it any longer, his head emerged in open air, swiftly followed by his shoulders and chest, until he tumbled through space and plopped into the giant’s stomach. 

Connie gasped for breath in the boiling hot chamber. The air was thin down here and stung with potent fumes. The acid tingled at his skin, eager to dissolve him into unrecognizable sludge. The elation he felt, however, outweighed his discomfort. He didn’t care about anything else anymore. He pretended he was inside his giant lover, and he was sublimely happy. The slimy walls churned and rocked him as he sank into their squishy softness, and the throbbing ambience of the heart beating and lungs breathing soothed him into a state of calm. As he gradually lost consciousness, he closed his eyes and smiled as he thought about his precious love: Martin.     

[this-is-krikkit]

Hii! If you're taking prompts then can you plz do some levihan on this:

'I've been born in the wrong timeline and the wrong gender!'

'And you realized that after sixteen years?'

hello! you're the first anon i don't feel i have to apologize to for taking too long to reply to a prompt lmao, hope you'll enjoy this!

of swords and crushes (1.4k words)

tags: levihan, modern AU (coffee shop AU if you squint), game of thrones references but you don't need to be a big fan to get em, GOT-typical violence mentioned

divider source

“I’m telling you, I was born in the wrong timeline and the wrong sex!” Hange exclaims, trading their branded apron for their civilian coat and giving a last minute check to the coffee shop for any obvious task they might have forgotten.

Levi clicks his tongue at them, not for the first time that day, and gestures for them to leave out the front door with him.

“And you only realized that after sixteen years, while watching a blockbuster series about sword fights and magic?”

“Yes! No? I don’t know, I just know I want to be a knight!” they whine, using the tone they know their coworker can hardly stand.

“You want to be a knight, or you want to do one of them?”

“Levi! How dare you put your dirty thoughts into my pure and innocent mind!”

“I may not watch that shit show myself, shitty glasses, but I’ve seen enough screen caps and memes to know no one innocent watches it. Not with those casting choices anyway.”

Hange’s glasses reflect the setting sun and hide their eyes even as they grin devilishly at him, and he groans at his own slip up.

“Oh, you’ve seen enough screen caps to have an opinion then? Tell me, which one strikes your fancy, Neat Freak? The sadist bastard who tortures people into becoming his slaves, or the annoyingly rich golden boy who had three kids with his own sister?”

He just stares at them for a minute, then shakes his head as he locks the front door.

“I swear this show gets worse every time I hear about it,” he mumbles under his breath. “Either way, the one I like best has green eyes, and I think his father was in Lord of The Rings or something?”

“Oh… You mean, Robb Stark?”

Levi glares their way, because how the fuck would he know, again? But Hange, as always immune to his stink eye, just pulls their phone out and hands it over after a quick search.

“Here, is that him? Oh my God, you’re blushing, it’s totally him!” they squeal before Levi can even confirm it with words.

“Shut up and help me pull this down,” he requests, gesturing to the iron shutter they have to secure before leaving. “He is cute,” he still feels the need to argue defensively as Hange complies.

They chuckle and bump their shoulder to his when they squat down to help him with the heavy padlock that secures the system in place.

“He is,” they agree with a reassuring smile, before letting a sigh out. “Shame that he dies in season three though.”

“What? I thought he was, like, the main character!”

“Well, he is, until, you know... he gets his throat slit at his cousin’s wedding, right after he sees his pregnant wife getting stabbed straight into her belly.”

Levi picks up his jaw from the floor and turns to face his coworker, waiting to see if there’s any chance they could be trying to pull one on him —they don’t usually have a strong enough poker face to actually trick him, but they’ve surprised him before in the year they’ve been sharing shifts on this shitty part time job.

“She dies too, of course! Along with everyone who was with them then,” Hange adds right away, like that’s somehow reassuring.

“Why the fuck do you watch this shit, Four Eyes?” he asks, genuinely confused about it all.

“Ah, sorry, I know you’re weird about this stuff. We can talk about something else if you want,” they offer with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of their neck in discomfort.

“I’m not weird about it,” Levi corrects, dismissing their concern with a wave of his hand, “and it’s fine to discuss. I just don’t like violence for the sake of violence, or for shock value. Feels lazy to me.”

“That’s not all there is to it!”

He gives them a pointed glance, and Hange has the decency to blush a little.

“Okay, it’s probably a big part of it… But the plot does justify it most of the time so far, and some characters are really interesting and fun to try to figure out, I think you’d enjoy it! Besides, the fighting scenes are so badass, Levi!”

They launch into a mock choreography of what he can only assume is one of those scenes, and Levi doesn’t bother holding back a chuckle as he walks alongside them. He ignores the puzzled looks from people who pass them by, throwing a glare or two whenever someone dares to stare for too long with judging eyes.

“How do you have so much energy after the shift you just pulled on top of a day in class, for fuck's sake? I really feel like I’m the older one here sometimes.”

And alright, Levi does have another, early and demanding job to go to while other kids his age are in school, which might explain his own state of tiredness. But Hange truly is something else, stamina-wise.

“That’s because you’re an old soul, Levi, whereas I’m brand new and enthusiastic about what the world has to offer! And about swords!”

“Yeah, right. Why don’t you sign up to fencing lessons and get it out of your system for good?”

“Sure, let me give up this side job I only took for the fun of it, ask my imaginary butler to fetch my thousand dollars allowance from my billionaire parents and I’ll do just that!”

He bites the inside of his cheek to prevent his smile from stretching too wide, even though he knows Hange will be able to tell they got him with that one anyway.

“Point taken,” he gives in.

The walk back to their subway station is silent, a little less comfortable than usual when they’re both painfully aware that Hange’s now thinking about their own financial issues —the unfortunate reason they even took this job and met Levi in the first place.

He looks around the industrial neighborhood they’re walking, and spots two long rusty metal pipes hanging out from a bin nearby. In a fit of renewed energy he didn’t suspect he could have, he rushes over there, grabs them —heavier than they look, but he knows they can both handle it— and throws one at Hange’s feet.

“Here you go, Sir Hange Zoë,” he declares, feeling absolutely ridiculous as he stands in what he hopes looks like a sword fighting position —he sure hopes Hange will give him a break, it’s not like he has a wide frame of reference for this. “Fight me.”

They chortle, the sound immediately brightening the mood —and Levi’s day.

“You don’t have to do this, Levi. You were right, it’s kind of childish.”

He frowns and charges, hitting their shin lightly with his shabby weapon. Hange’s eyebrows shoot up on their forehead, and he can tell they’re slowly giving in.

“Levi! You can’t attack a defenseless maiden, that’s not gentleman-y at all!”

“You’re not a maiden, dumbass. And who said I’m a gentleman?”

Next time he lunges, they block the blow thanks to their own pipe and send him stumbling back —with a force that would surprise anyone else considering how lanky they look in their baggy clothes, and a fire in their eyes that would no doubt freak them out too. Levi, however, has known for months now that the tall nerdy weirdo look is only a mask hiding a fierce, passionate kid who might just be the strongest person he’s ever met —in more ways than one.

Sadly, they’re also much more —how did they put it again? Oh, right— enthusiastic about the whole fighting thing than he’d foreseen, and he soon finds himself having an actual hard time holding them off. One of their well placed hits shatters the pipe he was holding in his hold, and he thanks his lucky star that the combat has to end as he puts both hands up.

“Alright, I yield! You’re right, Four Eyes, you would have made a great knight.”

“Thank you!” they reply with a wink and a graceless curtsy.

Hange throws their pipe back into the trash can, before holding out their hand to ask for the some of the hand gel Levi’s already rubbing on his palms. He throws them a disapproving look, more for show than anything else, and gives them some —really, he’s kind of excited that they’re finally getting some of his neat freak habits, as they always call them.

“So, I won, right?” they ask him when they start walking again.

“Tch, I guess you did,” he grants them, not up to point out how questionable that statement is when really, breaking your opponent’s weapon has to be against the rules, right?

“Then my prize is... that you have to watch the next season with me!”

He spends the rest of the walk and the three subway stations they share trying to get out of that commitment.

(He fails.)

[itsdeathofabachelor]

I really like the dynamic I’ve created for Jotaro and Kakyoin in a modern day setting.

Like, Jotaro got an after school gig and instead of going to college he’s took a gap year off the funds of said job, which is like some sort of warehouse or labourer thing because he can dead-lift three hundred pounds.

(The fact that he can deadlift three hundred pounds is also why his manager lets him smoke and drink outside on his breaks as long as nobody else sees him and it doesn’t affect his work, which is doesn’t because a can of beer isn’t going to knock him on his ass being 6’5 and like two hundred pounds himself*)

And Kakyoin is in college for some sort of business something because he also doesn’t know what to do but his very traditional Japanese parents overseas refuse to raise a NEET so he picked whatever had the highest graduate rate and games alone in his apartment after classes.

They’re roommates now but had been friends since they were kids and had reconnected literally by chance, as Jotaro had been working at said labourering gig at that time to pay for his Mom’s medical bills.

Side note: in this au Holly’s sick but more chronic illness sick, and after Sadao realized she wasn’t getting better and, in fact, it was a lifelong illness, he told her to leave. As the Japanese High End music industry is extremely judgmental and he was advised by several of his coworkers (and mistresses) that it would ruin his image if he was branded as a nurse and homebody taking care of Holly while Jotaro was at school.

With that in mind, Jotaro and Holly moved to America to live with Holly’s father, Joseph. Who is considerably more racist and far less charming for people to over look said racism. Suzy Q, his late ex wife and Holly’s bio-mom, noticed that after he gained a few pounds and suddenly didn’t have pretty privilege anymore.

She still barges into Joseph’s house to visit Holly and Jotaro, much to Joseph’s dismay. Jotaro likes her but finds her pushy and touchy without asking for permission first.

Jotaro worked at the same job he does now immediately after school to avoid the jokes and pokes at his father and about his race from Joseph, and seeing his mother try to walk again and cry when she can’t— Lining up perfectly one day when Kakyoin was walking (having just recently moved from overseas into the area of Jotaro’s job site) back from a later class.

Looking up from his phone he saw Jotaro, who was looking right at him from across the road, past the wire fencing set up to stop anyone from getting into the site and messing with the machines.

Kakyoin didn’t recognize Jotaro nearly as quickly as Jotaro recognized him. So as Jotaro long-jumped over the fencing and came barrelling into the street to the sidewalk where he stood, there was a split second where he thought he was going to die by the hands of a two hundred and fifty pound silverback gorilla. Like in the bootleg movie he had just watched the night before. And he wondered if this was the digital pirating god finally taking his dues.

Quickly, I should note, I remember seeing a post somewhere about how Jotaro’s love language is soft but he’d never let you get that close to him (the post included a picture of a teddy bear in a steel cage to represent this) and I think that fits very well with my own fanon interpretation of Jotaro’s character.

However, I do also think after so much time spent trying to help his mother, dealing with the weight of having to be the only reliable shoulder for her to cry on (because we all know THIS Joseph doesn’t have a emotionally intelligent bone in his body) and also the crushing feeling of grinding your body into a pulp for both school and some labouring job you hate— after about the year or so he had been there— would have had him clinging to those hinges by his fingernails.

So, bam! The last comfort of his childhood that hadn’t been ripped away, standing awkwardly at the crosswalk because he wasn’t sure if he should jaywalk because there were no cars coming, or if he should wait because the statistics of automobile casualties due to the average pedestrian’s immortality complex when it comes to giant metal machines are flicking behind his eyelids— obviously, Jotaro loses his mind.

Imagine a black bear. Giant. Huge, okay? Got that?

That’s what Kakyoin was suffocating into as Jotaro hugged him so hard his pre-mature stand popped out a little from his back.

This Kakyoin, having no fighting instincts what-so-ever, kind of just goes limp. And Jotaro, so happy he’s really really upset, shakily puts him back down.

And then there’s a moment like, wait wait wait wait. . . I know that mean mug— and then Kakyoin sort of connects the dots because Jotaro had always been a lot taller than him and also he literally was the only person Kakyoin had ever known that had let him blow out his birthday candles at his seventh birthday party when he found out Kakyoin’s parents didn’t ’believe in birthdays’ other than ‘milestone birthdays’.

And Jotaro had also treated him with basic human decency, considering he could have very easily bullied him.

So his face was burned into his memory for years now, whenever he tried to socialize and said the wrong thing, or if he saw a friend group doing friend group activities and suddenly he felt very very lonely. He actually really missed his and Jotaro’s friendship.

So they became best friends again like immediately.

It turns out in their time apart, Kakyoin had gotten an Autism diagnosis, which explained his unusual speech pacing and all the other things leading to ruthless bullying in middle school.

When he told him this on the floor of Kakyoin’s apartment— both of them doing a Pokémon themed puzzle together even though Jotaro had trouble picking the pieces off the floor— Jotaro could not have given less of a shit, but instead asked if that’s why, when the were kids, Kakyoin had always asked him for ‘pressure’ (AKA, Jotaro being taller than Kakyoin made it so he could give him a hug or lay on top of him in order to provide a good sensory feeling, or what Kakyoin had called ‘Pressure’).

And Kakyoin’s like, ‘Yeah.’

And Jotaro’s like, ‘Do you need some now?’ And mutters something about not wanting him to freak because he’s over whelmed or anything but really he wants a hug and doesn’t want to be the one to ask.

And Kakyoin’s like, ‘Sure. That’d be nice because I couldn’t enjoy the other hug properly when thinking you were a stranger trying to kill me’.

And now they’re roommates and Kakyoin streams his gaming seshes after he realized his parent’s monthly payments towards his rent were giving them ammo for guilt-trips and that he could make money off of games.

Weirdly enough, the same speech abnormalities he got bullied for actually helped him get his streaming platform, as it became his ‘brand’ in a way. Same thing with his flat humour and ‘fun facts’. Also, because he talks so much, his streams are very long, and there’s a running joke in his audience to— when he’s saying he’s going to log off for the night— ask him questions and see how long they can keep him on stream.

He doesn’t have a face cam, and plans to remain faceless to his audience, so whenever he really needs to focus and Jotaro comes lumbering in from a hard day at work and kicks his shoes off, Kakyoin—laying on the couch—raises his arms with his controller clicking over his head, not looking away from the screen, and is like ‘Jotaro, pressure. Streaming.’

And Jotaro hears Ode To Joy playing in his head as he tosses his ballcap with the company’s logo somewhere behind the tv and falls facefirst onto Kakyoin, who, after getting the air pressed out of his lungs, wins his match and talks to the chat.

The chat, obviously, asks about Jotaro, and Kakyoin just says, ‘A good friend of mine gifts me plus five stamina.’ Or some nerd shit.

* I headcannon Jotaro as fucking huge btw but that’s because I love very large angry men who, when relaxed, melts into a puddle of goo because their muscles aren’t straining. Jotaro has that kind of physique. Suzie Q (being Italian) loves this as Jotaro burns more calories flexing all day because he’s so stressed and tensed about everything, than a two mile sprint. So he eats. A lot. He’s one of the only people who actually eats enough not to have left overs. It impresses Joseph more than he’d ever admit.

[whiskeyswriting]

Peter's Way Home | Chapter 1: Peter's Ladybug

{ Masterlist }

A/N: Image header by me using Canva; divider by @silkholland

It had been the hardest three months after losing your mom and now today is the first day back at Midtown Science High School. While it wasn’t the first day of school, that’s what it felt like to you.

It had been an accident they said. The fire couldn’t be contained in the restaurant's kitchen. She died saving her coworkers. She was a hero. Yet, it didn’t feel like an accident when it felt more like negligence on her job’s part. Had the fire extinguishers been properly maintained or the windows not been painted shut, you would still have your mother.

The sound of a skateboard along the sidewalk drew you out of your thoughts. “Hey, ladybug!” Your best friend calls out to you.

“Hi Peter,” you say softly, needing to get used to using your voice again.

“Are you sure you’re ready to come back to school and deal with the idiots?” He teases.

“Someone has to keep them in line right?” You bump your shoulder with his. “So tell me everything that I’ve missed.”

You smile as Peter starts on his rambling catching you up on everything that had been going on at school.

The morning at school had gone by quicker than you anticipated. Your teachers had already been reminded that you had been homeschooling while you were in your months of grief.

It wasn’t easy. There was no point in lying about it. There were days when you would do your schooling at your dad’s fire station. On other days, you stayed with Peter’s Aunt May and Uncle Ben. They had always been great neighbors since you moved into the neighborhood but in the last few years, they became your second family.

During lunch, you head to the courtyard and you spot Peter and make your way to him. Before you can reach him, you hear him telling Flash to put another kid down. Next thing you know, Flash is beating Peter up.

“Eugene!” You yell out at the same time as Gwen approaches him. “I’ll walk with Flash. You check on Peter,” you tell Gwen, knowing of Peter’s crush on her.

You had once hoped he would crush on you but his happiness mattered more to you, so you would help him win the girl of his dreams.

“Flash! What the hell was that for?” You ask him harshly. “You promised me you would leave Peter alone.”

He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in close for a hug. “I’m sorry. Welcome back to school. I should have given my best girl a hug before now.”

You return the hug. “Thank you, Flash! But I won't tutor you again if I see or hear you making fun of Peter... No matter what.”

You didn’t notice that, as you talked with Flash, Peter spotted you and felt annoyed that you two were hugging. He knew he had no right. You were entitled to your own friends. But did Flash have to be one of them?

It was surprising to anyone to hear that Flash Thompson and you were friends. You were considered one of the nerds. Flash was the jock everyone loved. Well, mostly everyone. Your friendship with Flash blossomed from your days studying at the firehouse. His father and older brother were firefighters, so he would often visit and sit with you as you tutored him.

“Since you’re my best girl, it’s only fair that I take you as my date to homecoming,” he says smiling charmingly at you.

“That would be fun,” you reply. “Come on, let’s get to class and we can talk more later about homecoming.”

“Actually,” he shuffles his feet nervously. “I was hoping you’d say yes to being my girlfriend. I’ve got a crush on you and well we’re a good team.”

You weren’t blind. Flash was handsome. You both got along pretty well. You both actually had things in common. Though it’s not the guy you would have hoped for, you nodded yes. 

“Woooo! She said she’ll be my girlfriend,” Flash yells with a laugh.

When you’re in class, you can hear Gwen asking Peter if he knew his name. You try not to giggle when you sense him getting flustered at talking with her. 

After school, you and Gwen discuss what topics to go over at the next debate team meeting. The subject then changes to boys.

“So I heard Flash asked you out,” Gwen says with a teasing smile.

“Did the whole school find out?” You reply laughing.

“Oh Flash was telling everybody that would listen that he got his dream girl.”

“Dream girl?” You scoff in disbelief.

“That’s what he was saying to the basketball team in gym,” she continued teasing.

You groan and hide your face. Never had Flash shown any such interest in you so it left you confused as to why he would say you were his dream girl. It’s not that you weren’t pretty, but you knew the more popular girls in school would typically be the Dream Girl for someone like Flash. 

Of course, hearing those words boosted your self-esteem a bit. It took you a few more minutes to refocus on the debate team. 

Once done with debate, you waited for Peter to finish his photographs so you could walk home together. 

“Ladybug!” He came and hug attacked you, wincing when his sides brushed up against your backpack. 

“Peter, when will you stop calling me that?”

“Mmmm… Let me think about it… Never.”

“What about when you get married? And then I get married? And we’re both old…? You’ll still call me ladybug?”

He turns to you and grabs your shoulders. “We’ll be ghosts and I’ll still call you ladybug… Besides, it’s how I keep your mom’s memory alive.”

You stop walking for a moment. “What?”

“Your mom. The day you moved into the neighborhood… you were wearing a ladybug dress and so was your mom. She was calling you her little ladybug.”

“I never knew you knew.”

Arriving home, you find your dad had the night off today. “Hey! So I decided we could have pizza and wings. I also got your mom’s favorite movies so we can make fun of her taste,” he teases but the pain could still be heard.

You rush to hug him. “Sounds like the best night we’ve had in a while… So, uhm guess who asked me out?”

“Peter finally asked you out?”

Your eyes widen. “No. Why would you think it was Peter?”

“Because you two are always together and inseparable. I know one day you’ll end up together.”

“Sorry to burst that bubble, Dad. But it was Flash that asked me out… Both for homecoming and as his girlfriend.”

Your dad sighs deeply and pouts. “I don’t want you growing up. But know I’ll help you with anything for the dance… You know you have May to help too… I have some of your mom’s jewelry that you can use.”

“I love you, Dad.”

As you’re getting ready for bed after the movie, there’s a knock on your window. “I’m decent Peter. You can come in.”

He smiles at your fuzzy socks and the fact that you’re wearing your mom’s cheerleading sweater as your pajama top. “Do you still have her perfume to spray on the sweater?”

“Yeah. I sometimes wear it to feel her close again.”

“Tell me more about her,” he says as he lays on your bed. He knows you have been having a hard time sleeping after your mom’s death so he’s kept his promise of being there with you at night to help you sleep.

Only that today would be the last night for a while he would be there for you. Eventually, another entity would take over your thoughts at night.

--

PWH 🏷 List: @dxmerons @1lellykins @scarlett-witchh @asoulsreverie

Whiskey's Barrel (Permanent Tag List): @askmarinaandothers @bayisdying @breadsquash @callmemana @callsignscupcake @cycbaby @dragon-kazansky @gracespicybradshaw @hisredheadedgoddess28 @ladylanera @starlit-epiphany

[mydarlingdahlia]

An update on where I’ve been.

Warning: mentions of topics that could be a trigger warning for some. reader discretion is advised.

A/N: if you don’t want to read any of that stuff, basically, I’m okay. I’m alive.

As I’m writing this post, the whole stalker situation has blown over, for now…but I didn’t think it would be resolved as quickly as it did.

It turns out that the guy who was stalking me turned out to be one of my coworkers. Evidently, a guy who worked under me. (I’m not going to say his name, as to respect his privacy, even though he doesn’t deserve it.)

As he stated, as he was being dragged off of my mother in law’s property screaming his head off, it had started off as a crush, and that he “didn’t mean to hurt me”. Hate to break it to you, but attempting to stab me and giving me multiple bruises and cuts isn’t exactly not hurting me.

I’m okay, no fatal injuries were inflicted.

But basically, I was peacefully sleeping in my mother in law’s house, as I announced when I was going on my semi-hiatus. I was feeling restless, so I went up go get a snack from the kitchen, but I noticed Snoopy, one of my beagles, was acting strangely.

I assumed it was nothing, and let him walk down with me to the kitchen. But as soon as we got downstairs, he started growling. Like, he did not sound like a one year old beagle. It scared me even. Again, I brushed it off, until he started barking loudly at the pantry.

Long story short, the guy was hiding in the pantry waiting for me to come down. He claimed he knew whenever I came down for a late night snack, because he had apparently had been watching me. For months. Yeah.

He jumped out, knife in hand, and wrestled me to the ground while trying to stab me. He didn’t sink the knife in too far, but I did get a few cuts. I was able to disarm him and get the knife away, and my mother in law had come downstairs after hearing the noise combined with my dog’s barking.

After that, she tackled him and had to tase him and held him down while my father in law called 911.

I still don't know how he was able to disarm the alarm system and break into the house.

I’d say about ten minutes later the cops showed up. They escorted him out of the house and put him in the police car before he could do anything else. I was called to the station a little later to do some questioning.

After they were done questioning me, they told me what he had originally planned to do. (Surprisingly, he had admitted to everything) I had to vomit after what they’d told me he said.

Apparently, this all started a whole year ago, when he first started to work under me at my job. (He's been fired, don't worry) I was unaware, of course. He said he'd been fixated on me from the moment he saw me walk in, and he "had to have me". (I know, this sounds like a fic I'd write. But seriously, this shit happened.)

It had started out "simple". You know, just finding out my entire schedule, stalking my posts, taking pictures of me when I wasn't looking, you know, the good stuff. (This is sarcasm. Don't bitch and moan about it.)

Apparently, by the second month, he claimed he knew everything about me! He even knew that I (at the time) had a girlfriend. He assumed our relationship would burn out, because he was jealous of her and "wanted me all to himself". Well, that clearly didn't happen.

When he heard of our engagement in the summer, he was pissed. (Allegedly) That's when he started to stalk Mia.

He found out everything about her that he could. Her address, her workplace, where she went to university, most of her family members, friends, and that she has a hearing impairment. And that she's basically mute.

I don't know what he would've done with that last bit of info if this had all been discovered a bit too late, but I can think of a few examples that make me sick to my stomach.

After all this happened, he had apparently been working up the courage to ask me out. After he got rid of Mia, of course. (Again. Sarcasm. This is how I cope with traumatic events.)

More than half of his phone storage was just of me. Pictures, documents detailing horrible things he'd do if "the time came", screenshots of some of the platforms where I post, and some of my favorite things, which he planned to "lure me in" with.

He planned to essentially (R-word) me, and get me (with his child) so I "couldn't leave him". He also planned to (unalive) Mia, so he could "get her out of the way of his true love". I don't know what he planned to do to her after he (unalived) her, but I can gurantee that it would not have been good.

He did get me something for Christmas, actually. He uhh...he got me a s3x toy. And he mailed it to me. (Or delivered it himself, I don't know which.)

I assumed it must've been a mistake, because there was no indication that it was mine, or even for me, so I assumed that UPS or something had the wrong address. So I threw it away and basically said, "Oh well, guess someone's boyfriend/girlfriend will have one less present this year." He didn’t appreciate that.

He was mad because he knew I wasn’t using the toy he got me, because he’d been watching me when I was going solo a few times. He was disappointed because his gift wasn’t there. Not that I wanted it, anyway…

The creepy thing about it though, was the letter that was attached to it. Basically, in summary, it said: "I miss you so much, my one true love, we'll be together soon."

I thought the person who mailed it to me might've had a long distance partner or something.

After Christmas, he'd calmed down for like a month, but at the beginning of February, he picked up again. He found out Mia's phone number from where she worked, and started to text and harass her. She hadn't told me, (I think she was scared to) so it all came as a surprise to me when he texted me eventually.

Basically, most, if not all, of the texts were basically him threatening and pressuring her to leave me or else "something bad would happen". He also sprinkled in a few "she's mine", "she doesn't want you", you know, the like.

After she'd blocked him, she hadn't told anyone about it.

So after he started to text me, she admitted to everything. I wasn't mad, of course. So, we contacted the police. I'll spare you the details.

I think I was more concerned for Mia than myself, even though his motto was basically "If I can't have her no one will". I think, at the time, she was in more danger than I was. Apparently, he somehow knew (Of course he fucking did) that I was going to my MIL's house.

A few hours later, he somehow managed to start texting Mia again, and he began to threaten me. Saying bs like "I'm gonna (R-word) you and your fiancée if you don't listen to me". I probably can't say much more without guidelines sniping me.

And then the rest of it happened. So, yeah. That's the end of it.

Thank you all (especially my mooties) for all of the support, and I'm (thankfully) okay now and (fortunately) fully intact.

Everything’s happened so fast…I know it probably seems fake to you guys, but I’m not in the mood for any snarky comments right now. Most of this happened literally the day after I received those messages.

Also, I might take down a few posts with pictures of myself soon. Just a heads up if you liked one and it suddenly disappears.

[aspiring-holistic-otaku]

Season 3 Ramble#2 - “romance" lol ver.3

This month’s episode is all about romance, the third time around now and somehow I find myself with yet another tweak in format. Guess that just goes to show that love comes in many forms. In any case this month’s format isn’t that different from last time. I’ve still split my reads into 3 categories, the main difference is that the categories themselves have changed. Last time it was cute stuff, fucked up stuff and lewd stuff, this time I still have the cute category but I've switched out the other two based on this month’s reads, which I'll explain as we get to them.

So basically how this episode is gonna go is I'm gonna give my top reads this month in ascending order for each of those categories and then my top 1 reads before this month for the same.

Getting right into it the first category up is

Awww {basically v cute v innocent stuff}

#3) The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague (ongoing w 57 chapters, story & art by Miyuki Tonogaya)

This is an extremely simple but extremely cute story. The title pretty much summarizes it actually, the main character is the descendant of an ice demon, which is apparently not too strange in this world since he works a normal office job,,, and he has a crush on his cool, stoic, almost expressionless female colleague.

It's a pretty neat take on slow burns because one it's pointedly ice related, and secondly the ice guy’s emotions affect his environment, like if he gets too excited there'll be a blizzard or tiny snowmen will appear.. If you've ever had a crush on someone you know it's already hard enough to act natural or “be cool" so this guy has a pretty rough go of it.

The art is pretty nice but the characters, especially the wider cast leaves more than a bit to be desired. It actually almost kinda feels like the creator really just wanted to focus on the main two but the editor was like,, that's not how the real world works, especially not in an office... I do appreciate though that some of the wider cast includes different types of demons and it’s fun to see the different ways their emotions leak out, the different pairings, and so on.

As I said it’s an extremely simple story, almost feels like a 4 panel tbh, nothing I'd push too hard but it’s undeniably cute and makes for a super easy binge read or just something to pick up from time to time to escape the harshness of reality and indulge in the very cute but very absurd fantasy of a successful workplace romance… I think more than a few ppl have that one coworker you would if you could… but no… just no… leave it alone… leave it in fiction land my friend…

#2) Skip and Loafer (ongoing w 58 chapters, story & art by Misaki Takamatsu)

The story here follows our main heroine, a real go getter, who moved from the countryside to big city Tokyo for highschool, all so she could follow her dreams of being a politician and help out in rural areas around the country. Anyways she’s characterized as not being great at much else but studying, and in that spirit, gets lost on the way to her entrance ceremony. Here enters our main hero who’s also late but for the opposite reason, he’s super laid back, slept late and was considering just skipping but he felt sorry for this obviously lost but obviously trying girl so he decides to help her out and the story takes off from there.

Just wanna get out of the way that I love all the characters and their interactions with each other and especially within themselves. If anything, that's this manga’s strongest point. It makes the characters ooze real feelings that really feels in place for each where they are. Like not too dramatic where you wonder if they’re really highschool kids or even in school for that matter, and not too fantasy like where everything is perfect and it’s almost like characters are machines just filling a roll.

It kicks off pretty early on with engaging character interactions and the way they change and develop as the main cast gets to know each other is really endearing. I especially really really love the main heroine because she’s that innocent character type but it’s not done in that way that makes her this pure cinnamon roll that’s too good for this world, where nothing gets her down or she chooses peace and love every time. Her thing is that she’s basically socially inept and so she doesn’t really get when people are mean or even when they're being nice sometimes, but she’s all by herself in this new place so she’s trying and though she doesn’t always get it, it’s a real pleasure to see her grow.

It’s ongoing, only 58 chapters but there’s been a ton of realness and real growth in a bunch of ways for most of the cast packed in so far. Really can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Anyways, cool art, great cast, love the interactions and would definitely highly recommend this one.

#1) Horimiya (complete w 152 chapters, story by HERO & art by Daisuke Hagiwara)

The story here is that the main hero/heroine pair each have a hidden side to them that nobody else knows. At school, the heroine is always super put together but when she’s at home she’s too busy taking care of her little brother for all that and takes on a more homely caretaker persona (the art is shoujo leaning so she and most of the main cast pretty much always looks pretty). But anyways, at school, the hero is seen as a gloomy glasses wearing loner but when he leaves school he looks like he came out of a rock magazine. Tattoos and piercings everywhere. Anyways, this and that happens, the convenient plot is convenient and they end up becoming friends who hold each other’s secrets.

As much as the story kinda feels like shoujo perfect world fantasy stuff, and as much as it came out as top 1 largely because it’s complete, I think a small part of it might have been that a tiny part of me still wants to believe in, and might even still want that kind of “perfect” love. From the innocent buildup to the accumulation of every day special normals and beyond… but in any case, I did honestly like the theme of more and more of your true self coming to the surface and being able to show that true self to someone.

Overall, besides the main pairing, the cast was kinda weak, not bad, just pretty one dimensional But that one dimension was very cute and fluffy and this being a romance manga, it worked. What I will say though is that it took a while for the wider cast to come into play and even more for them to make me care, like not until late 50s heading into 70s did i care about anyone but the main pairing. Meanwhile skip and loafer only has about 50 chapters total and I was fully invested in the entire cast well before then.

But as I said, when the full horimiya cast rolls in it’s all very cute and I liked that they even made the platonic same sex relations pretty cute like yh guys just having fun and it’s not weirdly pervy in any direction, just another form of love yk.. v cool… Again it did have me yearning a bit like wow imagine having a life with both platonic AND romantic relationships being healthy and fulfilling.

Anywho,, pretty neat art, the story kinda just goes on ig but having in mind that it was a romance and it goes on in an increasingly cute way and all, i’d recommend it.

hm:

Even the Introverted Gals Wanna Get Out There! - pretty funny, maybe more funny than cute, also it’s girl on girl, think dead dead demon’s destruction but the main heroines actually get to live life and breath air, literally just vibing out in the club room after school (ongoing w about 6 chaps)

Train Man - Net Development, the Love Story of a Local Train: based on a true story apparently, basically a dude saves some people on a train and becomes friends with one of them and stuff take off from there (complete w 27 chapters)

ftr everything in the main list has an anime but i can’t speak on their status or quality

also ftr I'd definitely rate skip and loafer higher than horimiya overall but because this is the cuteness category, + horimiya is a complete story which I tend to favour for higher places in lists and stuff

next category up is

Dense & Denser

{this is basically when one or more of the characters are just oblivious to any love flags thrown their way}

#2) How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend (complete w 42 chapters, story & art by Takeshi Moriki, original LN story by Fumiaki Maruto)

Had never heard of this one before but the title pulled me in like how and why would one raise a boring girlfriend anyways?

The story here is that on the way to school the mc has an encounter with a mystery girl and it’s love at first sight, even though he didn’t see her face…. The mc is an anime/manga otaku much like myself, and this encounter inspires him to make a dating sim game, but after he happens to actually meet the mystery girl face to face, he finds that she’s actually kind of plain,, albeit in a cute sort of way. In any case the feeling of their first mystery meeting lives on so he pushes through with his idea, intending to transform this girl into his ideal heroine. The main story, relations and problems arise around him trying to get the dev team together for this game, and of course this being romance they’re all girls.

It’s all very funny in a very meta way, with commentary on anime/manga culture in most chapters, and the so called main heroine, being outside that culture, usually playing a very good straight man. It’s also meta in how the mc goes about getting his dev team together, as i said they’re all girls so it’s almost like his life becomes a dating sim in trying to woo them into his harem… i mean game dev team…

In any case I’m not even actually sure the mc really counts as romantically dense or if he was just so committed to the bit of being a single weeb undeserving of love that he just pretended not to notice all the pretty loud romantic undertones,,, but maybe that's a type of density in itself… a younger me can def relate… being committed to the bit is a lifestyle… bed is bae… anyways it’s kind of ecchi but still surprisingly good in both the romance and meta aspects. Pretty good art, they made a decision to keep the cast compact and it worked out very nicely. It wraps up in just under 50 chapters but I will say each chapter is pretty dense and can be a bit word heavy. Would recommend.

#1) Monthly Girls’ Nozaki (ongoing w 148 chapters, story & art by Izumi Tsubaki)

This story follows our main heroine as she tries to get the attention of her crush, who is our mc. In approaching him she finds out he’s actually her favourite romance manga creator and through this and that ends up working on it with him as an assistant to try and get closer to him.

Right off the bat I think everyone in this cast is pretty dense but man is the main hero just the most dense mf in the universe. I feel sorry for the main heroine cause she knows but she’s just so down bad for him she kinda becomes dense to how down bad she is. In any case every chapter takes the form of a series of connected 4 panel stories and it’s pretty funny throughout.

The wider cast is pretty neat, nothing too crazy but as i said they’re all pretty dense in their own weird ways so the interactions are usually funny. The art is solid, cast is okay, pretty funny, would recommend for sure.

ftr both have an anime not sure of status or quality

and again ftr i’d rank boring girlfriend over monthly girls’ in general, especially as it’s complete it’s just that this is the dense & denser category and monthly girls’ nozaki is definitely dense central, like black hole event horizon density my friends…

and the last category

That’s Rough Buddy

{a direct reference to avatar when sokka told prince zuko his girlfriend turned into the moon and his response was “that’s rough buddy”, this category is different from the that’s fucked up category I used in very.2 in that these focus more on emotional turmoil and have no physical violence and so on}

#3) Kowloon Generic Romance (ongoing w 61 chapters, story & art by Jun Mayuzuki)

This is kind of eh tbh, cool art, and it’s kind of a mystery as to what’s goin on, so much so that I don’t think I can describe it without spoiling so i’ll lean on the anilist/yen press summary a bit here which is as follows:

“Welcome to Kowloon Walled City: a dystopian townscape where the people are brimming with nostalgia, and where the past, present, and future converge. Amid the hidden emotions and extraordinary daily lives of the men and women working in its confines, a tale of romance begins to unfold for real estate agent Reiko Kujirai—one that feels as familiar as Kowloon itself…”

I doubt that told you anything but I hope it sparks some intrigue, I will say it has a good number of dope one liners, and if i’m being honest the main characters smoke a lot which is an aesthetic I love for some reason so sue me…

Not much else to say tbh, nice art as I said, it’s pretty cool, okay cast, the story is pulling a bit but the bait isn’t that strong, though the aesthetics of it all has definitely caught my eye so I will be keeping up with it after this month… i wouldn’t push it as a recommendation that hard but there’s only 61 chapters rn so no real loss if you do decide to check it out

#2) How Do We Relationship? (ongoing w 115 chapters, story & art by tamifull)

The story here is that the main heroines are gay and in reality no matter how much the media and conservatives want ppl to believe that homosexuality and homosexuals are accepted and normalized in society, in fact that anything but being heterosexual and cisgender passing is accepted & normalized, that’s simply not the case in real life. I live in jamaica and man, not that I really care, but I could get shunned just for reading stuff with gays in it… In any case that’s the sort of reality the main heroines live in which was cool for its realness as they were/are hiding the fact that they're gay, but in any case plot plot plot they end up going out….

This is the “that’s rough buddy” category so I think it’s okay to spoil that it doesn’t go smoothly though I won’t go into further detail. I will mention a really cool thing the author said in an afterword where they say that a lot of romance stories tend to build towards and end at the start of the main characters getting into a relationship, but life isn’t like that. There’s life after that and that’s sort of what they wanted to illustrate. The life after a relationship…. Sounds like a spoiler but remember there’s more than just our heroines in the story. there’s a whole wider cast and they’re all pretty great. each having their own relationship troubles or lack thereof, ideas and philosophies on love and etc.

Pretty solid art, in fact it really reminds me of yokohama shopping log, so much so that i’m convinced it’s a fanfiction created just to make the characters from that series actually full on gay. Pretty solid cast, a story that gets more and more engaging as it goes on though it’s pretty solid from the start. would definitely highly recommend though it can be a bit tumultuous like damn you guys just never gonna be stable huh??

#1) Chobits (complete w 88 chapters, story & art by CLAMP an all woman manga group formed in the mid 1980s made of Nanase Ohkawa, Mokona, Tsubaki Nekoi and Satsuki lgarashi)

I’d always seen this around and always as the profile picture for some more than suspicious internet accounts… the vibe it gave off in my periphery view was just horrendous tbh but i took the dive and it was worth it, obviously, coming in at #1.

The story here is that in the future, the world is inhabited by humans who live alongside their extremely powerful computers called persocoms, that are shaped to look and act almost human. numerous stories have taken this angle so I think you can imagine the effects that would have on society, but in any case the story follows our mc who recently moved from the countryside to the city and ends up finding one in the trash that he takes in and starts to take care of. The thing is their memory is corrupted so he has to teach them everything, but soon enough the mystery of the discarded persocom comes to light and their abilities could change the world.

All that pompous stuff aside the theme of discerning the shape of love and who deserves it was pretty cool, the mc was bleh and so was most of the cast but the last few chapters and the questions they posed were enough, especially the origin story of the persocom like damn… that’s rough as fuck buddy,, def kinda weird but my condolences all the same…. Art was okay… and yh i’d recommend it..

hm:

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai

Top Combo

Video Girl Ai (complete w 131 chapters, story & art by Masakazu Katsura)

This was probably my fav read this month, somewhere between this, boring girlfriend and skip & loafer but this definitely has the best combinations of the different categories I was working with this month.

Again this is something I'd seen floating around for the longest and associated with more than sus accounts but it was pretty good.

The lazy story is that the mc is a lame with no game and his crush ends up confessing to his best friend in front of him. obviously distraught he ends up renting what he thinks is a porn tape.. which I guess it technically is but it's supernatural in that the girl comes out of the TV and tries to mend the viewers’ heart.

Things get super complicated and it turns into the weirdest love polygon I've ever seen, lots of back and forth and dilly dallying but I enjoyed it. The art was great, had a great classic feel, there's more than a bit of ecchi but it's not entirely distasteful or weirdly out of context, the characters and their interactions were a bit exasperating with the back and forth, loves me loves me not stuff but that had its own entertainment value, and in any case I'd recommend it

now moving onto stuff from before this month, which I won't get into details for as I've spoken on them in previous versions which I'm encouraging you to go listen to or read the transcripts for,,

Oldies

Awww

Our Precious Conversations (top 1 oldie ver.1)

Dense & Denser

That's Rough Buddy

Hi Score Girl (top 1 ver. 2)

Boy's Abyss (top2 wtf ver. 1)

That's it for this part, got a little off cuff rambling in the rest of the ramble of you wanna listen in, thanks for checking this out as usual, hope you can find something here or elsewhere that you'll love and I hope you have a good one until next time 🍻

[unhappycylinder]

Hellfire’s Newest Member (Eddie x fem!Reader) Pt. 15

--

“I don’t see why you don’t just come work at Family Video with me and Steve” Robin cried out, slamming herself against the locker next to yours as you grabbed your books.

“Because, Robin, I dont think I have the time for a full time job on top of school and hellfire and Eddie and adjusting,” you sighed, “I don’t know its just a lot”

“Yeah butttt moneyyyy” she taunted.

“Don’t remind me,” you said slamming your locker. Your dad had been working more and more at the testing facility, meaning you saw him less and less. Its not that he forgot you were there…but he definitely had forgotten to leave you money on more than one occasion. And, since you never saw him, its not like you could really explain to him that $40 every two weeks was not enough to get you groceries or enough food to sustain yourself. 

“Look, y/n, I know that its tough with your dad and everything, but come on the perks are endless. I mean we get to hang out after school, and you get paid! Plus there’s like no actual work involved!” Robin was practically yelling as you walked down the hall to your history class.

“So if I say yes does that mean I’m hired?”

“I mean technically Steve is the one who has to actually hire you, but he’s got the hots for you so there’s no doubt in my mind that he will-”

“Wait Robin,” you paused in the hall, your brain spinning at what she just said, “Steve has what for me?”

“Uhhhh nothing! Nothing at all!” She fumbled over her words, “I don’t think I even mentioned Steve, actually, I don’t know how he’s involved in this conversation at all.”

“You said Steve has a crush on me?” You laughed out, a slight blush rising to your cheeks.

“Okay Y/n look, I totally fucked up right there. Steve told me he thought you were pretty after you came to work with us after school a couple weeks ago, and ever since then he hasn’t stopped talking about you,” Robin talked so fast you could hardly keep up, “so I asked him the other day if he had a thing for you and well, he didn’t exactly say no”

“Ugh Robin!” You groaned, throwing your head back, “now its gonna be so awkward whenever I’m at work with you guys!”

“So you’ll take the job?” She exclaimed.

“Because I know you won’t stop spiraling until I say so, yes I’ll take the job, but I’m gonna need these Steve details so I know what I’m getting myself into”

“Yes! Oh my gosh yes! We’re totally gonna be coworkers!” Robin jumped up and down, grasping your arm tightly.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

—

“Come on, come on, hurry up losers,” Steve said impatiently as he beckoned you and Robin into his car after school.

“Hey Stevie,” Robin smiled sweetly at him from the passenger seat.

“Robin,” he looked at her quizzically, “someone’s in a good mood today. The hell did you say to her y/l/n?” he asked, turning around to face you.

“I may or may not have accepted a certain job offer…” you bit your lip as your eyes found Steve’s.

His mouth hung open in shock as his eyes slid from yours to Robin’s, who was eagerly bouncing up and down in the passenger seat.

“You- wait what?” Steve squealed, turning to face you in the backseat, a blush flushing across his cheeks.

“Robin said you guys had a job offering and that I should take it sooooo” 

“Well yeah we did,” he turned to Robin, his hair bouncing over his forehead as he nodded, “but I didn’t think you’d be the one to take it”

“Oh I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, Stevie,” you drawled out the last word.

— Steve’s POV —

Stevie…that damn nickname. It was bad enough that Y/n was now gonna be working with you, but now she had adopted Robin’s taunting nickname?? And you hated to admit how sweet it sounded coming from her lips.

Your eyes lingered on hers for a moment too long after she said that before panic set in and you quickly snapped around to the front of the car, hands finding the steering wheel. You could feel Robin’s knowing stare burning holes into the side of your head, and oh lord were you dreading this workday.

Putting the car in drive, you began the silent voyage to family video, fingers nervously tapping the wheel as you coasted down the highway. 

“So uhhh,” you broke the silence, finding y/n’s eyes in the rearview mirror, “Munson let you off the hook today?”

Y/n sighed, shaking her head as she smiled out her window, “Eddie isn’t my babysitter, Steve. Besides, he was pretty excited when I told him I got this job.”

“Oh yeah?” Surprise filled your voice, “I’m surprised the freak wasn’t bugging out at the idea of not getting to spend every waking second of everyday with you,” you scoffed.

“Stevie if I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous,” y/n teased, her eyes returning to the mirror just in time to catch the blush that spread rapidly across your cheeks.

Robin whipped around at that statement, muttering y/n’s name under her breath.

“What?” she responded, eyes going wide at Robin as she turned around and slicked back her hair with her hands.

So, signs point to y/n knowing about your crush on her. Shit. You never should have trusted Robin…told her you thought y/n was cute even though you knew full-well she was head over heels for Eddie Munson.

That freak? You thought to yourself as the car fell back into silence, wondering about how Y/n could have been yours if you had just managed to get in before Eddie had. You could make her happier than he ever could.

— Y/n's POV —

Steve pulled into the family video lot, your eyes not leaving his face the entire drive, hoping to yourself that he hadn't caught you. He was a good looking guy, Steve, and you couldn't help but feel flattered after hearing Robin tell you how he was the king of Hawkin’s High for his 4 years, and how every girl wanted nothing more than to hang on the arm of Steve Harrington.

But no. You were with Eddie. You loved Eddie more than anything. He had shown you nothing but kindness since you got here and had welcomed you fully into his space with no hesitation…but then so had Steve. He was totally your type; tall, great hair, freckles, real cute, goofy. He was no Eddie, he lacked that edge, that spark that Eddie had that made you feel so giddy inside. 

“So y/n since it's your first day,” Steve snapped you out of your trance as you all walked up to the front door, “I think we're just gonna have you chill behind the counter with us and kinda observe everything we do”

“Sounds good to me,” you shrugged, entering the building as Steve held the door for you.

You introduced yourself to the daytime employees as Robin and Steve took over for them at the desk, taking a seat on the counter next to the register.

“Oh my god y/n this is so totally amazing,” Robin buzzed, running up to you from the back with your very own green vest, “I’ll make you a nametag and you can pick whatever pins you want and slap them on there!” She held the vest up to make sure the sizing was right before handing it over to you and getting to work on your nametag.

“Damn I guess this is really official then huh?” You slid the vest over your t-shirt, smiling at the family video logo now resting on top of your left breast.

“What do y'a think?” You asked as you shifted side to side, flaunting the vest, “do I pull it off alright?”

“You look bbbbonkers gorgeous y/n,” Robin said, slapping her palms against the sides of her cheeks, making you both giggle.

“Yeah no, you uh,” Steve stood in front of you with his hands on his hips as he stared at your vest…at the logo of your vest, “you look great. It looks great. The vest I mean. It looks good on you. You look-”

“I'm gonna stop you there Stevie boy,” Robin came to his rescue, “welcome to the family video family best friend,” she said, gently slapping Steve’s chest.

–

The workday went by quick, with the Dr. Zhivago double vhs playing softly in the background, you and Robin occasionally remarking about how romantic it was, Steve growing more annoyed with each enamored sigh.

Six hours later and your shift was done. Robin grabbed your vests from you and Steve and took them to the back room to hang them up, your nametag now sitting just above the family video logo.

“So y/n, Munson picking you up?” Steve asked while leaning against the counter.

“No uh, I didn't really know what time I’d be done so I told him I’d find a way home tonight”

“Mind if I give you a ride?”

“Yeah actually that'd be great. Last time I turned you down I ended up walking several miles in the dark…which was freaky to say the least”

“Yeah I-” Steve paused, “I was worried about you.”

“Stevie you don't need to be worried about me, I was fine”

“Well regardless, I’m driving you this time, and really any time you need a ride…can't have you walking the streets of Hawkins alone…this place is weirder than it seems”

“Ominous, but okay,” you laughed as Robin came back to the front

“You buffoons ready to go?” 

“Let's do it.” Robin slung her arm around you as you all retreated to Steve’s car, him locking the store behind you.

–

“Alright miss Buckley, your stop.” Steve drummed on the steering wheel as he waited for Robin to hop out. 

“Thanks, as always, for the ride Stevie. You two kids get home safe,” she winked at Steve as she grabbed her backpack and closed the door behind her.

“Bye y/n, see you tomorrow for our favorite class in the world!” Robin yelled as she walked towards her house.

“Cant wait,” you yelled back at her, chuckling to yourself.

“So are you gonna stay back there like I'm some chauffeur or are you gonna hop up here?” Steve asked, turning around to face you, his hand gripping the headrest of the passenger seat, drawing your eyes to it.

“I don't know Harrington you make a pretty good chauffeur”

“Come here,” Steve said lowly, gesturing towards the front seat with a nod.

You blushed, grabbing your backpack as you exited the backseat and slid into Robin’s, setting your back beneath your feet.

“Better?” You taunted, Steve’s hand still resting on your headrest.

“Much.” He brought his hand down to put the car in drive, returning it to the wheel after. You couldn't help but feel an emptiness at his hand not being there. 

“Where am I taking you?” He asked quizzically, “I just kinda started driving,” he laughed.

“You mind taking me to Eddie’s? It's pretty close, you're going the right way already actually,” you laughed with him.

“Yeah sure,” you couldn't help but notice the defeat in his tone.

“So I hear you used to be the king of Hawkin’s High…” you tried to begin conversation.

“Oh,” he blushed, “that’s what Robin’s been telling you huh?”

“Oh yeah. She told me all about how popular and untouchable you were. How all the girls wanted to date Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington,” you said with air quotes and all.

Steve laughed, “is that so?”

“What?”

“All the girls at Hawkins High want to date me…” he hummed, an amused grin across his face, “I suppose that’d include you wouldn't it?”

“I said wantED Steve, don't get ahead of yourself buckaroo,” you said through a smile and a blush, one which Steve definitely noticed.

“I don't know y/n, the color of your cheeks right now is telling me something different,” he tapped nervously on his wheel, trying to hide his anxiety through his flirtatious voice.

“Steve, you're literally driving me to my boyfriend's house as we speak…” you suggested.

Steve just looked at you, eyebrows raised, begging you to continue.

You laughed, “oh my god don't look at me like that!”

“Like what?” He laughed back.

“Like you want me to say something else! There's nothing else to say!” You held your hands up in defense.

“Alright whatever you say.” Steve chuckled as his eyes returned to the road, Eddie’s trailer only a block away, “but that doesn't mean I have to believe you L/n”

The sound of gravel crunching signaled that you were pulling into Eddie’s driveway. You began to pack up your things as Steve parked the car, turning to face you as his arm reclined on the wheel.

“Believe what you want Harrington, I know where I stand” you said with a smile and a friendly wink as you opened the car door and stepped out.

“Oh I will y/n, believe me I will,” he said, making you laugh and shake your head.

He definitely was smooth, and confident, you had to give him that.

“You are a pain in my side Steve Harrington, you know that?” 

“Just happy to be there Y/n L/n” and with that he gave you a small salute and drove away, leaving you blushing, alone, on your boyfriend’s porch.

You turned to face the door, hand coming up to gently knock on his door, careful not to wake his uncle in case he was home. Before you could make contact though, the door swung open to reveal a very ticked off Eddie Munson.

-- 

Taglist: @definitelynotecho @sadbitchfangirl @lfaewrites @tlclick73 

[calicoquiltedtranshag]

I am

Just kinda sitting here at work thinking about how fucking tired I am.

How much I don’t want to be here

How while I’m here, there’s so much cruelty happening to innocent folks and it’s normal.

Coworkers buzz about the Olympics and how happy they are someone from our state got picked and all I can think about is the unhoused and undocumented folks Paris tried to sweep under the rug to make it happen. It’s normal. If I told them I know I’d just get called a downer.

It’s infuriating. I can’t leave this job. I can’t do Manuel labor anymore because of my legs. They’re so ignorant of everything going on in the world and so many of them benefit from it.

My boss with three large Starbucks drinks doesn’t care about the boycotts - she vacationed in Hawaii for her wedding recently. Every fucking implication of that bubbles viscerally under my skin. She’s 30, went to college, and doesn’t know how to edit a pdf.

One of the faculty I work for has specifically done projects for the US DOD. I’ve had to make lists of his grants and projects. There’s blood on his hands.

Another professor was excited to be going to Tel Aviv last month. Our campus actively crushed any chance of protest by increasing police activity and keeping the town alert in case of unrest.

I’ve watched this city be beaten again and again by its administration for rightfully protesting their mistreatment. The people I was raised by called them thugs for rioting, for being angry at their mistreatment at the hands of our police.

It’s roiling in me and it’s all I can fucking think about. There’s so much I want to do to help fucking change things and in the way is an army of everything.

I can barely feed myself. Standing long enough to cook is an achievement. I’ve been told to “take care of that before getting angry at anything else”. I’m not paid enough to afford healthcare despite having a full time job and insurance. I’m fucking lucky and it’s still not enough.

It needs to fucking end.

[gooeyotter]

no time left to spend or give (7/29/2024)

Good morning, fellow earthling.

It's a bit of a joke to be saying "good morning" at almost 2 AM as of writing this, but that's how the universe rolls sometimes. I didn't officially "wake up" until after 11 PM, you see. On the night of July 26, I lay in bed for over twelve hours, my mind a chaotic tumbleweed of existential dread and swirling thoughts. My brain felt like a corporate office gone rogue, with every thought a misplaced memo. I suspect the root of this madness might be my recent weed habits—or lack thereof. For two weeks, I had been dosing myself with 25 to 50 mg of THC gummies to numb the relentless ache of a back injury from my day job (well technically I work the night shift, but you're not here for semantics). The first sober night in ages turned my brain into a nonstop ferris wheel of anxiety. I finally crashed around 1:30 PM on July 27, which meant I didn't rise until about 9 PM. Those sleepless hours of mind-wandering and needing to get my thoughts out were the catalyst for this very blog, so there’s some Mundane Supernova lore for you.

The catch? I was exhausted but not quite tired enough to fall back asleep. I had to leave the house before 10 AM on July 28 to catch Deadpool & Wolverine at the AMC with my boyfriend, his dad, and his brothers. By the time I staggered back home around 2 PM, I was so drained I fell into a deep, all-consuming slumber. And now it's Monday, I have to work tonight, and my sleep schedule is a glorious mess. It’s not the first time I’ve turned my life into a sleep-deprivation circus, and it certainly won’t be the last. That’s just my cross to bear.

Anyway, about an hour ago, I was lounging on the backyard patio, jamming out to my phone while waiting for my sweet potato fries to finish in the air fryer. The song Diplomat by Swimming With Dolphins came on. If you haven't checked out this band, I highly recommend it. Even if some of their tracks veer into a bit of religious preaching, their music has that same ethereal, dreamy vibe as Owl City. Fun fact: Adam Young of Owl City helped kickstart the band, though I don't think he's involved anymore.

Diplomat is an anthem for the overworked and underfulfilled. It’s about a high-flying businessman feeling crushed by the corporate grind. The chorus go:

"I'm trying to find the means to living more passionately Cause I'm not who I wanna be Buried in routines, I don't care what happens to me I just gotta get free"

It struck a chord with me, making me reflect on my own workplace ambitions. Like many fellow leftists, I think it’s high time America rethinks its work culture. Living costs have skyrocketed, even in my small state of Oklahoma. It’s downright nauseating. We’re trapped in a reality where an average blue-collar worker like me must either endure endless overtime or juggle a second job just to keep afloat. I’m fortunate to work for a company I actually enjoy, with coworkers who feel like family. But even with a decent $22/hour wage, I’m still scrambling to cover bills. What’s a soul to do? I could dive into even more debt with going back to college or trade school, but high-paying jobs aren’t a given. I could seek another job, but I already sit at the top tier of blue-collar pay in this city. More overtime? Just a band-aid on a gaping wound. As the opening line of Diplomat laments:

"Live to work, work to live No time left to spend or give"

It’s frustrating and disheartening, reflecting on what this says about us as a nation and a culture. I’ve got plenty more to say on this topic, and I’ll dive deeper into my work history in a future entry, explaining why, despite everything, I prefer the gritty reality of blue-collar work over the sterile confines of office life.

Until then, hang in there. Take your PTO, use your sick days, and don’t let your boss dictate your existence.

♡ Nova

[secretblogosphere]

My god it’s been a long time since I was here. I probably should have utilized this space a lot more lately but somehow it didn’t occur to me until the other night. But here I am. Better late than never?

As usual, I just need to vent. My life is fucking falling apart and I’m about to scream.

For one, I’m stuck in a job that’s making me miserable. I came here because I needed to get out of my last place and, while it is better, it’s still sucking the soul out of me. And despite my hourly being much higher I got fucked over with bonuses so I’m actually making basically the same as before. The worst part is it’s about to get worse because one of my coworkers is going on maternity leave, one is retiring, and another leaves in August. Which means I’m going to be stuck at a property I can’t stand being at.

Two, I’m drowning in debt. And it’s not getting better. I was expecting more income so I moved into a more expensive apartment than I was in. But between my husband fucking up last year, my taxes being so expensive I can’t even pay them, and our general finances out of control it’s just getting worse and worse. I have no idea how I’m going to get out of it.

Three, my health is not going well. It’s nothing serious but frustrating enough that I just never feel good. I’ve been having digestive issues, over production of mucus, headaches, tonsil stones, and my hormone shit. I know eating better and exercising would help but I barely have the energy to do basic tasks to keep functioning much less anything like cooking or going to the gym. And I know stress is making it worse but I can’t get rid of that because 90% of what’s stressing me is external and out of my control.

Four, I’m so fucking lonely it hurts. While I know cutting the toxic people out of my life was for the best, I have no idea how to make new friends to replace them. And I legit have two people in my life, one of whom is borderline toxic. So I spend all my time in my house alone. I don’t have anyone other than people on the internet to commiserate with. And while all you guys are lovely, it’s not the same as going to lunch with someone and just enjoying their company.

Five, my marriage is on the verge of collapse. We fight all the time, don’t enjoy each other’s presence, and the happiness we once had has basically disappeared. And I can’t fix it. I’ve done everything I can think of but it just gets worse and worse. Plus, he seems totally unwilling to work with me on it. His opinions of me are so negative that he can’t see past them. And most of them are built on this false narrative he’s created of who I am in his head. Still, I can’t seem to get myself to let go. Even if it’s for the best, which I don’t even know is true, I just can’t. I still love him but am not even sure why some days.

And then, just to add some colorful flair to it all, my aunt was just admitted to the ICU. She was having trouble breathing and went to the ER last night. Apparently it’s something with her heart valve. She’s only 79. My grandma, her mom, lived into her mid 90s. This isn’t supposed to be happening. I’ve had so much loss and I can’t handle any more.

I feel guilty that I’m angry this is happening. I know it’s so much worse for my cousin because that’s her mom, but I just can’t handle anything else. I’m at my breaking point. How am I supposed to keep functioning when I hit blow after blow after blow? It feels like my world is collapsing. I’m legit disassociating constantly. My feelings keep cycling through anger, fear, and bone crushing sadness. It’s too fucking much. I can’t do this.

Even with my bipolar meds, it’s hard for them to cut through all this pain. I shudder to think how much worse it would be if I didn’t have these meds. I have no support and no options. I’m stuck. What do I even do? How can I just keep going about my life? I won’t even say going about it like normal because I’m not even sure what that looks like anymore. I’ve lost myself. I’m trying so hard to keep as positive of an attitude as I can but it feels impossible. I just want to be happy. I want the life I imagined for myself. It’s not even anything crazy, just normal shit that people want.

Anyways. I just needed to let all my feeling out somewhere that’s safe. I know I just have to take it one day at a time, one minute at a time really. Whatever will be will be. I can’t change life happening. I just wish I knew how to find a pocket of happiness in all this misery.