#I’ve el dragon on blast it’s so hard

[mycological-mariner]

God Maná fucks so hard

[treesap-blogs]

Last of my Trans Rights Readathon reviews!! “The Wicked Bargain” by Gabe Cole Novoa

(Strap in everyone, this is going to be a long one! Not only did I have a lot of thoughts on this, but it was somewhat an excuse for one of my hyperfixs to make a cameo. I don’t think I’ve had a 2K word review since The Dragon’s Promise?!)

Hello, Tumblrians! This wraps up my fifth and final review of my Trans Rights Readathon reads!! This one in particular might’ve been anticipated by y’all, as I’d mentioned both looking forward to it and listening to it on Audible for weeks. This particular review will be covering The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa!

I feel this is the only one with a worthwhile Book Discovery Backstory(or whatever fucking name I’ve used before), to be honest: I haven’t shared on here, despite it being the platform to do so (this is just a bookish account for now and I’ve yet to post art outside of that), but I’ve been an Our Flag Means Death fan for about a year now! I’ve gotten attached to the characters, especially a select few, and consequently, I followed a good chunk of the actors on Instagram. For reference, Jim’s my favorite (although my other top three are Oluwande and Jackie, as a sidenote), so I follow their actor, Vico Ortiz, on Instagram! Turns out they do voiceover work, particularly with audiobook narration(which I found out about in November but only remembered beginning of this year?), and they made a story post in January or so that was day 2 of them recording in the studio the narration for this book. The next day they actually made a video dropping the title of it, and I rushed to go check it out! It’s absolutely delightful, reading a gay pirate book narrated by my favorite from the gay pirate show. (Even if I suck ass with staying focused with audiobooks and as a result also had to have a hard copy on hand lmao. I haven’t listened to one since my seventh grade art teacher played all three audiobooks for The Hunger Games. Sidenote, who decided those were for kids?! They’re terrifying!) Despite that being the main reason I got into the book and knew about it in the first place, somehow I ended up forgetting it was actually real and not just something I’d gaslit myself into believing until a week or two until the release date💀

(No but seriously though I followed Gabe Cole Novoa’s Instagram and regularly commented under his updates, I had grown into a certified actual TWB fan between February and when I actually read it in March😭)

So yeah! The more you know, haha. Sorry about the long rant, and also to my dear friend who may be reading this and who I have ranted about my fictional crushes enough times that he can recognize some of them (including the aforementioned) by just pronoun, based on context alone.

BUT YEAH! So the ultimate question: was this book worth the hype? Not just from me, personally, but for most of Tik Tok and some of the bookish Crew folks who’d caught on to its existence? My final verdict? Yes, yes it was. It was an absolute blast of a book.

Ok, onto my actual review now! This is already plenty long, and we haven’t even talked about the plot.

The Wicked Bargain follows (newly) 16 year-old Mar León De La Rosa, a Latine nonbinary (transmasculine) teen working alongside their father on the ship he’s captaining(and became notorious for), La Catalina. (It’s worth mentioning that this book takes place somewhere in the beginnings of the Golden Age Of Piracy, I think the exact year the story starts is legitimately 1717?) On the night of their sixteenth birthday, however, El Diablo comes to claim their father’s soul because of a deal he made with him when Mar was born, then killing everyone else on La Catalina except for him and Mar. Mar has to find a way to get him back before it’s too late, having to learn to hone their own magical abilities (fire and ice elemental stuff!) if they have any hopes of successfully defeating El Diablo, and finding a new home in the ship, La Ana, that saved them from drowning at sea. (Of course, there’s other notable characters: like my personal favorite, a gender-fluid demonio named Dami with somewhat questionable morals, and the son of La Ana’s captain, Bas, who Mar much to their dismay ends up falling for.)

(Sidenote: premise for this sounds sick as fuck, right?! There’s so much plot going on though that it’s taken me five tries to correctly condense and explain it to my friends. Five! Like..go to the Goodreads page, you’ll see what I mean. I legit needed to take a breather the first time I went ahead and read the blurb back in January ‘cause it’s a mouthful.) (I’ve noticed that the bullet-point explanation/“tagging” format used by a few Bookstagrammers works in their favor this time because they can just use a couple quotes, include “found family”, “magic”, “gay pirates” and “a deal with the devil” and call it a day.)

So as you can tell, plot-wise, this book is packed. There’s some other details and aspects I left out because it would be spoiler-y to include them, which can be overwhelming for a few (especially given on how long it takes for Mar to pick things up and start throwing baddies around, yeah it takes a while for them to actually be comfortable with using their abilities)(this does not work within the time constraints of the deal and every time it would mention weeks going by and the moon phases changing I’d be like “oh no”)! It took a bit of getting used to on my part, but it keeps things moving along and it ties into the swashbuckling part of it all (see: pirates, haha). This does not work in the ending’s favor, however, because it ended very quickly to the point where it felt a little abrupt. 

I really liked the cast of characters! (I think ensemble casts are starting to grow on me a bit.) A lot of them were so much fun, the obvious favorite being Dami. While a few of their schemes got…convoluted (especially in the last act, but that was kinda mandatory for it to work), I absolutely ate up their moral ambiguity and their banter with Mar. This book also had a solid villain, too! (And an interesting pick as well, being that it’s..the literal devil lmao.) El Diablo got a kickass introduction, cementing him as a threat and a force to be reckoned with in the story’s plot, and he remained menacing throughout basically the entire book. I enjoyed that a lot, he’s probably one of the more solid YA villains I’ve read about! (Even if I have a few questions about his identity at the end. We don’t have a spoiler section for this review, so I’m keeping things vague at that?) As for the non-villainous/morally gray characters I liked, Bas, although he got a horrible first impression with Mar, remained a fun character to bounce off of them. (“Them” singular, I mean bouncing off of Mar lol.) Eventually, when the romance between Bas and Mar was introduced into the plot, I actually liked it and thought that there was a gradual shift in Mar’s opinion of him rather than a total 180 just to make it work(maybe it was because the drag from listening to this and it taking me four times as long to read, though, that made me think it wasn’t rushed). (LMK what you guys think in the comments!) 

To wrap up my discussion on the other characters, Tito got mentioned only a few times I think, but he was one of my favorites too. He was just really sweet, I liked how caring he was towards Mar (especially during the point of the book when they were terrified after being discovered by him) and I appreciate fictional dudes like that. I missed him when Mar and Bas were the centerpieces of the second act and not the La Ana crew as a whole, because it meant there wasn’t any more time to be spent with him :(

Anyhow! Now, Mar themselves. They’re in emotional pain for a lot of the book, and have a sizable amount of trauma attributed to their magic(which is just called the Spanish word for it, magía, here). That prevents them from seeking out solutions related to that. I get it. But damn I was SO annoyed at them for just. Making things drag out?! Literally half of the book would’ve never happened had they just realized they had these super powerful abilities at their disposal!! The one time that Dami tried to get them to use their abilities was kinda convoluted (did the rest of the crew seriously have to be involved, too?!)(and by involved I just mean endangered bro), but their reasoning was understandable imo. When they were frustrated at Mar for their hesitance I was too oh my gods. (Seriously though, when Dami was basically about to pull their hair out because of anger and stress, I was too, and started full-on laughing because it was basically my reaction. I felt seen by that! Sigh.) Anyhow. That issue aside, I loved their characterization as a transmasc non-binary protagonist. I related heavily to their feelings of gender dysphoria, and appreciated as a Spanish learner that the La Catalina crew (and some other folks who knew about Mar not being a boy but non-binary) added the “e” ending to their Spanish when referring to them. Also, little bit of a personal note but I thought it was interesting how they presented really masculine and were alright with “boy” being used as a descriptor for themselves sometimes; a lot of non-binary rep is kept strictly androgynous(well, particularly in television because books are more diverse I noticed), and as a non-binary person who also identifies as gender-fluid and uses male/masculine labels occasionally, this was yet another facet of their gender identity I connected with :). 

(Additional thoughts on the nonbinary representation: I appreciated having this be in a story within the historical fiction genre, because although yes, the characters aren’t real, there’s still that acknowledgement that queerness has always been around. It especially helped to have that be told through the Latine lense that Gabe Cole Novoa wrote it in, because in non-European/white cultures, it’s been an integral part of them but got erased by colonialism. Colonization was semi-frequently mentioned in this book, due to Mar’s cultural background, so that was a point of complexity that was brought up along with it. I’m glad that got to be highlighted here, it’s a layer of queer history typically not talked/written about in mainstream narratives because they're mostly white-centered.)

Magic system I’m a little on-the-fence about, to be honest, because we have some idea of how the strain on Mar limits their usage of it and it ties into the plot(I liked the added detail of them having to use their magic every 2 or so weeks because it would build up!), but they also get pretty powerful with little to no training and I wish the book was a bit longer so we could get more time to develop that. And, as the paragraph on Mar’s characterization gave away, we didn’t get a ton of action scenes involving magic! It stilted its development, sadly, and kinda led to the sudden influx of power in the quick ending. (I was expecting Dami to try to train them a little more! I guess that didn’t happen. Maybe it could, in a version of the story where there were a few more pages and the pacing was a little less clunky towards the last act.)

Ok, in conclusion! I loved TWB a lot. (That’s the acronym that Gabe Cole Novoa uses in regards to it, and I picked up on that because it’s fun! It’s like talking about something with a dedicated fandom.) Even though it didn’t get the highest rating of my Trans Rights Readathon books due to the pacing hindering it a little, I think I enjoyed it the most out of all of them (maybe I’m a bit biased though, see the Book Discovery Backstory). Mar, Dami and Bas have stuck with me for weeks after I initially read about them on-page in March, I still have my hold receipt for my library copy(which I had to return, sad face) stored away in a tiny box in my room, and I’ll be reading anything Gabe Cole Novoa publishes from here on out :).

(Also, I tried drawing digitally for my last fanart piece bc I just got a new iPad and it’s easier for me to sketch on this one, for some reason! I hope you’ve enjoyed the addition of my fanart!)

(Edit, August 10, 2023: I removed the second piece of fanart from this post only to include my art of Bas and Mar. My Dami drawing was inaccurate to how they look on the cover art for The Diablo’s Curse, and I felt the need to take it down for that reason.)

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars

(Book content/trigger warnings: Drowning, confinement, grief, gender dysphoria, some instances of underage drinking, semi-frequent mentions of colonization, mention of racial slavery.)

~Paz, signing off!

Trans Rights Readathon Reviews: 5/5

[springvaletales]

((Session 48 is wrapped!))

“I am honest (and full of Cheez-its).”

Ena’s Player: “Are we sending our interns to Sir Carl’s estate?”

Thiori’s Player: “The party is full! We need to send them to the PC!”

“NO!!! ‘Arch-Daddy’ is OFF the table!”

Sir Carl has decided to send Wayne and Zayne home to his estate for their own protection along with Thiori’s adopted kids, as he doesn’t want to put their lives at risk.

It has come about that Sir Carl believes Bagelby to be 22 years old, when Bagelby is, in fact, only sixteen.

“Oh, to be a Bagel in the Feywild…”

We left off last session with Ena noticing that a still-mind controlled Michael had disappeared along with Geraldine, and we pick up with her shaking Vashael out of unconsciousness while screaming “Where did your boytoy go now?!”

Asahi’s Player: “He’s getting kidnapped again?!”

Me: “He’s cursed! He can’t help it!”

The shouting worked, and she also slapped Vashael back to wakefulness hard enough to leave a handprint for good measure.

With Vashael in tow for back-up, Ena and Asahi followed the clue of a scrap of fabric caught in a door to chase down Geraldine, who was trying to abscond with Michael while she could. Most of the party ended up following them.

Velenna was not happy to have been left in charge of the unconscious and the dead when her son was once AGAIN in danger, but she also knows that the party is more than powerful enough to save him, and begrudgingly let them go.

Ena’s Player: “….hey Soli, if Ena and Michael are both warlocks of the Taker, then her magic can’t hurt him, right?”

Me: “That’s right! :D

Asahi’s Player: “I’m going to cast Water Whip at Michael!”

Me: D:

Ena freed Michael from the Cordypede with an Eldritch Blast at point blank range. He’s fine due to their warlock class, but Asahi got a little toasted. It was absolute overkill - the poor thing only had 1hp!

Geraldine, nervously: “You wouldn’t hit an old lady with glasses, would you?”

Ena, already charging Burning Hands: “I’ve NEVER respected my elders!”

The confrontation with Geraldine quickly turned into every party member taking a turn punching the evil flamingo lady…

….until Ena double crit her rolls and burned Geraldine to a crispy pile of feathers. Whoops.

Ena stole Geraldine’s glasses as a war trophy and mended them just because she could.

She also found a teardrop shaped pendant in the mess that she had Sir Carl identify - it’s the house seal of the House of the Wading Marshes, a once-great noble family from the continent of Cheshire across the sea.

Asahi used an enchanted acorn to contact the Taker of the Lost and ask him to wake Captain Astaroth so she could report the turn of events.

Unable to awaken Astaroth, the Taker instead dragged him by one horn down the halls to the party (in his tiny form still, as the ceiling was too low for his true form).

Ena decided to wake up Captain Astaroth by casting Thunderclap in an enclosed hallway.

Ena keeps taking points of damage for using her Eldritch Sight ability in a dragon’s palace while surrounded by powerful magic users all wielding a variety of magical items.

Ena: “Ow! That hurt. Ow! That hurt. Ow-“

Thiori collected nine dogtags from slaughtered Queen’s Guardsmen he found while returning to his room to retrieve his alchemy kit and check on the kids (the kids are alright), and Bagelby and Asahi found four more corpses while investigating Rond-El’s personal quarters and office.

Rond-El is NOT a cult spy…..but apparently he is a furry whose hobbies can be used for blackmail.

Tuck Chingle is an in-universe romance author, apparently.

Asahi gave up searching Rond-El’s room and office after needing to cover Bagelby’s eyes for the third time, and they returned to Astaroth.

After reporting her (lacking) findings to Astaroth, Asahi left Bagelby in the main hall to ‘watch over’ (aka: steal from) the incapacitated nobility, and wen to search the rooms of the royal family for anything suspicious or dangerous.

In Vashael’s room, Asahi found all the dick crystals Ena had previously placed, laundry that needed to be done, a small hoard of coins spilling out from under his bed, and a notebook filled with bad love poetry and not-so-bad sketches of Michael.

It was decided that Vashael can’t draw hands (artist mood) and that all the sketches are elbows-up only.

In Kemat’s room, Asahi found a collection of functional swords, a letter from Rond-El pleading with him to ‘think of the future’ and pick a bachelorette (every name was crossed out), and a box of magical polaroids under his bed frame.

Most of the polaroids were candids of his family (Almaea trying to eat breakfast while having a dress tailored, Maji about to slam dunk a ball through their unsuspecting father’s horns, Vashael about to jump off the guardhouse roof to fly, etc.) but a few were of Vashael and his friends, and some of the most recent were of just Michael.

“Aah, so he’s snooping!!”

In Maji’s room, Asahi found another box of hidden photos that she quickly put right back, as well as a collection of expensive hand fans on display, love letters to Maji’s fiancé, Neraagh-Aagh, and a few letters in which she complained about Rond-El pressuring Kemat to marry, Ambassador Rototol doing a shit job of faking an accent to sound more pretentious, and a not-so-secret romance she was watching between a guardsman and a palace laundress.  

The only thing Asahi found in the Queen/Prince Consort’s room was a bunch of artifacts and art from a thousand years ago, and some pieces of dragon horn.

It was decided that Manon-Val’s horns are broken not because he lost them in battle, but because he is a bottom.

“Sir Carl is having his AMV moment on the balcony outside.”

We wrapped up there because we ran out of time and people need to sleep, so we’ll set a new session date in the next few days and reconvene to cover up a massive security breach and avoid political fallout as best these disasters can!

[spanishskulduggery]

Pokemon Vocabulary in Spanish

Because I’ve been playing Pokemon a lot lately I decided to throw together a vocab list. Keep in mind that a lot of the words are usually direct translations that work really well in English or they’re closer to the original Japanese. I’ll make notes where needed.

Some of these are a little different between the European Spanish version and the Latin American Spanish version. For example, “brick break” in Spain is demolición which is “demolition”, and in Latin America it’s karatazo meaning “karate chop”. Most of these are the same, but some are regionally distinct. I’m going based off of Spain because I’m consulting my game which is European Spanish.

Note: Any official names or names of moves will be Uppercase. Me explaining what they more literally mean will be lowercase so there’s no confusion

Los tipos / Types

Normal = Normal normal = normal, regular

Fuego = Fire el fuego = fire

Agua = Water el agua = water [technically a feminine noun]

Planta = Grass la planta = plant [“grass” is usually la hierba or sometimes words like el pasto, or for a “lawn/grass” it’s often el césped] 

Volador = Flying volador(a) = flying, capable of flight

Tierra = Ground la tierra = earth, ground

Roca = Rock la roca = rock [synonymous with la piedra “stone”]

Eléctrico = Electric eléctrico/a = electric

Bicho = Bug el bicho = bug [slang for el insecto “insect”, though el bicho can sometimes mean other things]

Lucha = Fighting la lucha = a fight / wrestling [la lucha libre]

Psíquico = Psychic psíquico/a = psychic

Veneno = Poison el veneno = poison, venom

Fantasma = Ghost el fantasma = ghost [surprisingly, fantasma is masculine]

Hielo = Ice el hielo = ice

Dragón = Dragon el dragón = dragon

Acero = Steel el acero = steel

Siniestro = Dark siniestro/a = sinister, shady, underhanded [in older contexts siniestro/a is “left” or “left-handed”]

Hada = Fairy el hada = fairy [technically a feminine noun]

Remember that the Pokemon types themselves are considered adjectives 

Me gustan los Pokemon tipo Agua. = I like water-type Pokemon.

No me gustan los Pokemon tipo Hada. = I don’t like fairy-type Pokemon.

Los Pokemon tipo Fantasma son mis favoritos. = Ghost-type Pokemon are my favorites.

El (tipo) Siniestro es débil contra el tipo Hada, Bicho, y Lucha. = Dark is weak against Fairy, Bug, and Fighting.

El (tipo) Psíquico es fuerte contra el tipo Veneno y Lucha. = Psychic is strong against Poison and Fighting.

¿Cuáles son los Pokemon tipo Acero más fuertes? = What are the strongest steel-type Pokemon?

-

Los ataques / Attacks

Malicioso = Leer malicioso/a = malicious

Cara Susto = Scary Face la cara = face (el) susto = scare, fright da susto = scary

Placaje = Tackle el placaje = tackle [in football/rugby]

Derribo = Take Down el derribo = demolition derribar = to knock down, to bring down

Doble Filo = Double Edge el filo = edge, blade

Picotazo = Peck el pico = beak -azo = [suffix meaning “a strike from”; thus it’s “a strike with a beak”]

Mofa = Taunt la mofa = ridicule, mockery, taunting mofar(se) = to taunt / to make fun of

Arañazo = Scratch el arañazo = a scratch arañar = to scratch

Cuchillada = Slash la cuchillada = a slash or stab (with something sharp) acuchillar = to stab/slash (often with a knife which is el cuchillo)

Constricción = Wrap la constricción = constriction

Atadura = Bind la atadura = binding, ties atar = to tie, to tie up

Atizar = Slam atizar = to stoke, to stir up / to slam, to whack

Impactrueno = Thundershock el impacto = impact el trueno = thunder

Ascuas = Ember el ascua = an ember [technically feminine, las ascuas in plural]

Pistola Agua = Water Gun la pistola = pistol, gun el agua = water [technically feminine]

Destructor = Pound destructor(a) = destructive

Burbuja = Bubble la burbuja = a bubble

Mordisco = Bite el mordisco = a bite morder = to bite

Triturar = Crunch triturar = to crunch, to crush, to mash

Ataque Arena = Sand Attack el ataque = attack la arena = sand [or “arena” as in a stadium]

Pisotón = Stomp el pisotón = a stomp, a stamping (of the foot) [lit. “big trample/step”] pisotear = to step on, to trample pisar = to step on, to step foot on

Golpe Cuerpo = Body Slam el golpe = strike, hit el cuerpo = body

Contoneo = Swagger el contoneo = swaying, swaggering contonear = “to swing your hips”, “to walk with a swagger”, “to strut”

Bostezo = Yawn el bostezo = a yawn bostezar = to yawn

Más Psique = Psych Up [lit. “more/plus” + “psyche”]

Corpulencia = Bulk Up la corpulencia = size/girth/bulk (of the body), corpulence corpulento = large/fat, bulky

Reserva = Stockpile la reserva = reserve, a stockpile reservar = to reserve, to save up

Escupir = Spit Up escupir = to spit [they probably went with escupir “to spit” because “to spit up” in English sounds more like vomitar is more gross]

Tragar = Swallow tragar = to swallow

Rayo = Thunderbolt el rayo = a lightning bolt, a bolt

el rayo = a beam/bolt Rayo Hielo = Ice Beam Rayo Solar = Solar Beam Rayo Carga = Charge Beam Rayo Confuso = Confuse Beam Rayo Burbuja = Bubble Beam Rayo Aurora = Aurora Beam Psicorrayo = Psybeam Hiperrayo = Hyper Beam

la onda = wave [often in the sense of electromagnetic waves, microwave, wavelengths etc.] Onda Trueno = Thunder Wave Onda Ígnea = Heat Wave Onda Voltio = Shock Wave Onda Tóxica = Sludge Wave

el puño = fist / punch Puño Fuego = Fire Punch Puño Trueno = Thunder Punch Puño Hielo = Ice Punch Puño Sombra = Shadow Punch Puño Drenaje = Drain Punch

la patada = a kick Doble Patada = Double Kick Patada Baja = Low Kick Patada Ígnea = Blaze Kick

la garra = claw Garra Dragón = Dragon Claw Garra Metal = Metal Claw Garra Umbría = Shadow Claw

el colmillo = fang Colmillo Veneno = Poison Fang Colmillo Ígneo = Fire Fang Colmillo Rayo = Thunder Fang Colmillo Hielo = Ice Fang

Vendaval = Hurricane el vendaval = gale, strong wind [el huracán is “hurricane” literally]

Fuego Fatuo = Will-O-Wisp el fuego fatuo = will-o-wisp [ghostly lights]

Tóxico = Toxic tóxico/a = toxic, poisonous

Lanzallamas = Flamethrower el lanzallamas = a flamethrower [lit. “launches/throws-flames”]

Ventisca = Blizzard la ventisca = blizzard, flurry

Cornada = Horn Attack la cornada = goring [being gored by the horns or tusks of an animal]

Bote = Bounce el bote = a bounce, a jump [among other things]

Buena Baza = Assurance la baza = a trump card, “ace up the sleeve”, “secret weapon” [so literally it means “a really good trump card”]

Maquinación = Nasty Plot la maquinación = machination, plot, plotting, sneaky plan

Látigo = Tail Whip el látigo = whip, lash

Latigazo = Power Whip el latigazo = lashing, a lash, a whipping  [lit. “blow from a whip”]

Azote = Flail el azote = a whip, a flail, a scourge, cat-o-nine-tails / a smack from a whip azotear = to whip, to lash

Carámbano = Icicle Spear el carámbano = an icicle

Brillo Mágico = Dazzling Gleam el brillo = shine, gleam mágico/a = magical

Absorber = Absorb absorber = to absorb

Megaagotar = megadrain agotar = to drain, to drain away, to exhaust

Gigadrenado = gigadrain drenar = to drain

Polvo Veneno = Poison Powder el polvo = dust / powder

Paralizador = Stun Spore paralizador(a) = paralyzing

Somnífero = Sleep Powder somnífero/a = inducing sleep el somnífero = a sleeping pill

Fuerza Lunar = Moon Blast la fuerza = strength lunar = lunar/moon

Rueda Fuego = Flame Wheel la rueda = wheel

Terremoto = Earthquake el terremoto = earthquake

Bola Sombra = Shadow Ball la bola = ball la sombra = shadow, shade

Psíquico = Psychic

Paranormal = Extrasensory paranormal = paranormal, ghostly, spooky

el tajo = a cut or slash Tajo Aéreo = Air Slash Tajo Umbrío = Night Slash Tajo Cruzado = Cross Chop

Sombra Vil = Shadow Sneak la sombra = shadow vil = vile, evil, fiendish

Tinieblas = Nightshade las tinieblas = “darkness” [used euphemistically as “darkness” or “the shadows”]

el pulso = pulse Pulso Umbrío = Dark Pulse Pulso Dragón = Dragon Pulse Pulso Cura = Heal Pulse Hidropulso = Water Pulse

la cola = tail Cola Férrea = Iron Tail Cola Veneno = Poison Tail Cola Dragón = Dragon Tail Acua Cola = Aqua Tail

Hidrobomba = Hydro Pump la bomba = pump / bomb

Hidroariete = Liquidation el ariete = battering ram, ram (of a ship) / striker, forward (in football/soccer, sometimes called el delantero in Spanish) [literally hidroariete would be like “hydro-ram”]

Liofilización = Freeze Dry la liofilización = (the process of) freeze-drying

Testarazo = Head Smash la testa = head [another word for la cabeza] testarudo/a = stubborn, hard headed la testarada = headbutt [another word for el cabezazo] -azo = (a strike with)

Mazazo = Wood Hammer el mazo = mallet, hammer -azo = (a strike with)

Pantalla de Luz = Light Screen la pantalla = screen la luz = light

Reflejo = Reflect el reflejo = reflection / reflex

Avalancha = Rock Slide la avalancha = avalanche [snow] / rockslide [rocks]

Alud = Avalanche el alud = avalanche [slow] / rockslide [rocks] / mudslide [mud] / deluge, spill

Picadura = Bug Bite la picadura = bite, sting (from an insect)

Zumbido = Bug Buzz el zumbido = a buzzing, buzzing noise, droning noise (mechanical)

Chirrido = Screech el chirrido = a shriek, a screeching noise chirriar = to squeak, to shriek, to screech

Descanso = Rest el descanso = a rest descansar = to rest

Ronquido = Snore el ronquido = a snore, snoring sound roncar = to snore

Sonámbulo = Sleep Talk sonámbulo/a = a sleepwalker [in Spanish it’s more “to move around in your sleep” but in English it’s “talking”]

Viento Hielo / Viento Helado = Icy Wind el viento = wind hielo = ice helado/a = icy

Torbellino = Whirlpool el torbellino = a whirlpool, a waterspout

Rapidez = Swift la rapidez = quickness

Ida y Vuelta = U-turn (de) ida y vuelta = “round trip” [lit. “going and returning”]

Infortunio = Hex el infortunio = misfortune, accident, bad luck, a jinx/hex

Otra Vez = Encore otra vez = “again”, “once more”, “once again”

Señuelo = Follow Me el señuelo = decoy, lure

Premonición = Future Sight la premonición = premonition, prediction

la púa = spike, barb Púas = Spikes Púas Tóxicas = Toxic Spikes

Puya Nociva = Poison Jab la puya = lance, spear / a sharp jab nocivo/a = noxious, poisonous

Joya de Luz = Power Gem la joya = jewel, gem la luz = light

Furia = Rage la furia = fury, rage, anger

Enfado = Outrage el enfado = anger, rage, outrage

Cascada = Waterfall la cascada = waterfall, cascade

Salmuera = Brine la salmuera = brine / pickling liquid

Escaldar = Scald escaldar = to scald / to blanche (vegetables)

Pájaro Osado = Brave Bird el pájaro = bird osado/a = daring, bold [not as common but synonymous with audaz and atrevido/a for “bold”, though more in the idea of “daring” and “reckless”... not the same as valiente “brave”]

A bocajarro = Close Combat a bocajarro = “(at) point-blank (range)” / “no holding back”, “blunt”

Agua Lodosa = Muddy Water el agua = water [technically feminine] lodoso/a = muddy, sludgy, murky (water)

Bomba Lodo = Sludge Bomb la bomba = bomb / pump el lodo = mud / sludge

Dragoaliento = Dragonbreath el aliento = breath

Cometa Draco = Draco Meteor el cometa = comet [masculine; la cometa is a “kite”]

Perforador = Horn Drill perforador(a) = perforating, something that makes holes

Frío Polar = Sheer Cold el frío = cold polar = polar, of the poles

Canto Helado = Ice Shard el canto = stone, pebble, stone chip, little piece of something / a song, singing, canto helado/a = icy

Poder Pasado = Ancient Power el poder = power pasado/a = past, ancient

Roca Afilada = Stone Edge la roca = rock, stone afilado/a = sharp, razor-sharp

Espada Santa = Sacred Sword la espada = sword santo/a = holy, sacred

Excavar = Dig excavar = to dig

Fuerza Equina = High Horsepower la fuerza = strength equino/a = horse, equine

Llamarada = Fire Blast la llamarada = flash of fire, flare-up

Sofoco = Overheat el sofoco = a hot flash / a feeling of being suffocated or stifled

Lanza Mugre = Gunk Shot lanzar = to throw, to shoot, to launch la mugre = grime, filth 

Tierra Viva = Earth Power la tierra = earth vivo/a = alive, living

Corte = Cut el corte = a cut [from cortar “to cut” / not to be confused with la corte “court”]

Fuerza = Strength la fuerza = power, strength

Surf = Surf el surf = the surf [also surfear “to surf” or hacer surf]

Vuelo = Fly el vuelo = a flight [from volar “to fly”]

Buceo = Dive el buceo = a dive, diving [from bucear “to dive down underwater” as in like “scuba diving” / not to be confused with zambullirse which is someone “diving” off a diving board in swimming]

Destello = Flash el destello = a glimmer, a flash [from destellar “to twinkle” or “to shine, to flash”]

Some Pokemon moves have pretty clear patterns. You might see ígneo/a “fiery/igneous” for fire-related things or just fuego, you normally see umbrío/a “shady, gloomy, dark” for dark or shadow things, férreo/a or de hierro for “iron” for metal and steel moves, or you might see helado/a “icy” for others. Sometimes you see voltio “volt” or voltaico “electric”... things like that.

You can typically spot the patterns and figure out what type they’re talking about if you recognize any cognates in English. So if you know aéreo means “air”, then you can sort of piece together that Golpe Aéreo “Aerial Ace” will be a flying move, since it literally means “air strike”.

-

Día Soleado = Sunny Day

Sequía = Drought la sequía = drought

el sol pega fuerte = “the sunlight is harsh” [lit. “the sun beats/sticks/strikes hard”]

Llovizna = Drizzle

Tormenta (de) Arena = Sandstorm la tormenta de arena = a sandstorm la tormenta de arena zarandea a ___ = “the sandstorm buffets ___”

zarandear = to shake, to buffet, to knock around

Granizo = Hail el granizo = hail / hailstone granizar = to hail

-

Los estados, Los problemas de estados / Status Problems

envenenado/a = poisoned causar envenenamiento = to cause poison / to cause poisoning

quemado/a = burned la quemadura = a burn

congelado/a = frozen

paralizado/a = paralyzed

dormido/a = asleep

daño de retroceso = recoil damage

amedrentar = to flinch, to cause flinching [in Pokemon it’s “flinching”, in regular Spanish it means “to intimidate” or “to instill fear”]

confuso/a = confused

enamorado/a = in love [often caused by (la) Atracción which is “Attract”) estar enamorado/a de = to be in love with

debilitado/a = fainted  [lit. “weakened”]

inmune = immune

Most of these status effects are used with estar given that they’re temporary and states of being

-

La eficacia / Effectiveness

eficaz = effective

supereficaz = super effective

poco eficaz = not very effective

fallar = to miss, to fail

el golpe crítico = critical hit

sin efecto = no effect

afectar = to affect no afecta a ___ = (it) doesn’t affect ___

-

evolucionar = to evolve (Un Pokemon) ha evolucionado = (A Pokemon) evolved (Un Pokemon) está evolucinando = (A Pokemon) is evolving

debilitarse = “to faint” [lit. “to weaken / to go weak, to go limp”; when someone “faints” or “passes out” it’s normally desmayarse, but debilitarse does also have this idea in it too] (Un Pokemon) se ha debilitado = (A Pokemon) fainted

Un Pokemon salvaje te corta el paso = “A wild Pokemon appears” [lit. “a wild Pokemon cuts into your way”, sort of like “a wild Pokemon cuts you off”]

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

The Second Incident (Kids, Monsters, D&D and Adults, Part 2.) (Part 27.)

Description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could keep you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: As October came by again, your traditional family vacation did as well. And just like the last year, the things were about to go downhill. Yet that year, Hopper wanted to make sure you’re completely out of the game.

A/N: So, season 2 is here! We’re getting extremely close to bad Russians of 1985 and I’m getting more and more anxious about this fic.

Word count: 4.2 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @creedslove @missdictatorme (CHECK HER OUT, SHE’S SO LOVELY)

Master list: H E R E

The fourth of July at your parents’ was exquisite - you always had the greatest view from your garden and that year was no exception. The most exciting part was to shoot the fireworks on your own - which was your dad’s and Jim’s job. Eleven was sitting on your brother’s shoulders while you were snuggling to Hopper in the back as you watched the colors on the sky, drinking a beer. And it was the first evening your mother wasn’t looking at you with worries. Jim and your dad made the best burgers waiting for the fireworks to start blasting, you were preparing sweets with your mom, Aiden spent his time with his newfound niece, drawing with her.

You made a pact including you, Jim and partially your mom, who, of course, didn’t have to know everything - you needed to leave Eleven at that household way more often to have some time for kinky fucking. And you definitely felt more than ready to try out new things and to deepen your horizons.

From your thoughts about all of that kinky fucking Eleven woke you up. She was standing in front of you with a drawing, looking you in the eyes.

“For you from me.” - She peeped and you patted Hopper’s ass, sending him off to the garden and you walked with Eleven to the kitchen to have some more burgers. You were hungry as hell - but suddenly, you stopped as you watched that drawing.

It was you, Hopper, her, Aiden and your parents, all holding hands. It was a drawing looking a lot like stickmen, but with some nice details - there was that big red waistband you always wore on your wrist, Aiden had Go-Hawkins-Go! t-shirt and your mom had a big smile on her lips. And on top of that, there was written 'famili’ with a sweet grammar error. This one made you smile.

“Is this for me, baby?” - You whispered, looking at her with actual tears in your eyes. She smiled, nodding at you, stealing yet another cookie from the plate on the counter.

“This masterpiece will hang on my fridge until the day I die, I swear.” - You mumbled happily, kissing her forehead and bringing her for a hug. At that moment, you got why Joyce was showing Will’s rainbow spaceship to everyone who visited Melvald’s. You were extremely proud as you watched the drawing.

You and Joyce got pretty friendly since Hopper proposed to you, honestly. You went to Melvald’s for every small thing or when you just felt the need to talk with her, sometimes even going as far to visit her place to learn to cook something really good for Hopper and Eleven.

Since the Byers disappearance incident, as everyone in Hawkins called the event, you knew that her younger son, Will, had some problems - you knew that every first day in every month, Joyce, Will, and Hopper left somewhere for the whole afternoon, but you never asked about any details. You were sure that Hopper wouldn’t tell you - he was one sly motherfucker, he would find his way to throw you off the rails.

But when you were in their house, Will was always glad to try what you’ve cooked. You talked with that boy a lot, to be honest, and you needed to say… That the boy was pretty cool, telling you all about Dungeons and Dragons campaigns, having these pop-cultural references and he liked some cool music. He was looking weird, yeah, but he sure as hell was cool. And he always said you’re a great cook, so you liked him even more.

You hadn’t got too close to Jonathan, though. Not that you were trying too hard. He wasn’t too much of a social person, so you only greeted each other when you came and never talked until you said goodbye.

“You’re leaving for a vacation? Leaving Hopper all alone here? Are you sure that he won’t starve to death or something like that?” - Joyce smiled, making the mashed potatoes while you checked on the meat put in the oven. That day, you were showing her how to make your famous meatloaf Hopper talked about all the fucking time.

“I do so every year since I was born. Plus, I think Jim can take care of himself for two weeks… Not even that long.” - You rolled your eyes, grinning ironically. - “I noticed that Will has gone to the… Somewhere you’re taking him two times since October had started. Is everything alright?” - You asked and closed the oven once again.

“He’s… Having some episodes. The doctor is saying that it’s because it’s been a year since he disappeared, something like PTSD. I’m just trying to make everything easier for him now.” - Joyce hugged herself, lighting up a cigarette, offering you one as well. You wanted to say that you know what she had on her mind, but she didn’t know about Eleven. And you couldn’t tell her no matter what. And to say that you know how does she feel because you have a child as well… That would be extremely weird.

“It will get better, Joyce. Just… Don’t lose hope. Will’s a smart kid and a fighter.” - You said and hugged her, looking at your watch, sighing dramatically. - “Holy crap, it’s this late? I need to go. The meatloaf only needs ten more minutes and it’s done. Say the boys that I hope it would taste them.”

“You better go.” - Joyce agreed and made sure that she’d at least walk you out of the door.

“I’m going to North Dakota soon, to see my grandma and family and I almost forgot about it. I haven’t even packed yet! Cooking with you always makes me forget stuff. And say hi to Bob from me!” - You giggled and ran to your car, waving at her with your purse.

“Sure. Have a lovely holiday!” - Joyce watched as you slowly left her driveway in your old car.

Cheri Cheri Lady was playing all over the forest as you pulled off in the driveway, turning the engine off. Eleven was peeking at you through one of the curtains while Jim was opening the door for you already. they knew that every time a loud car pulls off in front of the cabin, it’s you. No-one from the lab was that stupid to let the radio playing as loud as you did.

“You once forget your head somewhere, have I told you that?” - He grinned at you, kissing the back of your head as you hugged him, storming inside the cabin.

“My meatloaf is a fricking masterpiece and it needs time and patience. And patience is a virtue.” - You answered a bit ironically, throwing your stuff on the kitchen table, saying hi to Eleven with a tight hug. - “How were you, sweetheart?” - You asked with a small smile, looking her in the eyes. You did exactly as you told her - the drawing was on your fridge and you refused to take it off, having a furious motherly expression on your face when one of them touched it.

The drawing wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon and these two needed to accept that as a matter of fact. You weren’t playing any games.

“Fine. I’ve helped with packing.” - Eleven smiled at Hopper, making you furrow at him. You knew she had packing all of your stuff for the vacation on her mind, but a bit of fun never hurt anyone.

“I’m taken away, Mr. Hopper. You really want me out of the house in no time, huh?” - You mumbled with faked drama, making Eleven giggle. If you had to be honest, it was extremely sweet of them to pack your stuff - Hopper knew that you’d lose the track of time as you always did, making sure that you won’t be panicking and that you would make it on time.

“And we made tuna sandwiches. For you, grandma, grandpa, and uncle.” - Eleven said seriously, taking four small bags out of the fridge. These she loved to make the most, so you just accepted it with grace, learning how to love them.

“I will all of them on my own because I’m sure they’re the best in the entire world.” - You said playfully, making Eleven furrow at you.

“You should go. You have barely twenty minutes to ride to the house even if you ride like a madman.” - Jim said, making you realize that you’re leaving again. For the last time for the next twelve days, you hugged Eleven, kissing her all over her face, making her giggle.

“You need to promise that you won’t let him starve. And to eat also normal food, not just Eggos. Make him clean up the place and you two won’t have any bad blood once I’m gone, is that clear? Or I will make a long psychological sitting at the dinner table and you both know how annoying and uncomfortable these are.” - You pointed your finger at both of them, really kissing the temple of El’s head for the last time before you left the cabin. Hopper, as usual, came out just a second after you.

“You have everything there, alrite? I packed the damn bag with the best intentions.” - Hopper leaned into the top of your car and with that, you exactly knew what did that old douchebag had on his mind.

“You packed me only the lacy underwear you like, didn’t you?” - You mumbled and looked him in the eyes, seeing his face growing into the annoying grin he used to have every time he did some random bullshit like this was.

“Maybe I did.” - Jim laughed into your lips when you stole a big, fat kiss from her.

“Joyce told me it’s getting worse with Will now. Just… Promise me that you’d call me when something fishy would happen and that you keep them safe. And that you keep yourself safe in the first place, okay?” - You hugged him, closing your eyes, thinking about all of the stuff that happened last time you left Hawkins for a vacation.

“Gonna do it, mum. Can you go already? I am a grown man, I can do it on my own.” - Jim hugged you with one hand, but he took a deep breath in and tried to relax as well. He wasn’t sure about the last thing he told you. But he needed to look brave. For real, the Byers boy was making him worried.

“Be safe. And call me.” - You said definitely, stealing one last kiss before basically jumping into the car and stormed off. Just as last year, you drove to Dakota with having Aiden in the car, taking turns after four hours of driving, having a lot of fun on the road.

For the first few days, everything was extremely hectic at Dakota, but you had fun - just as he promised, Jim called you every day around afternoon to tell you how they are doing, everyone was extremely curious about him since now, he was not only your boyfriend but your fiancé as well.

Anyone could prepare themselves for what was about to hit Hawkins that time - and it all started with Eleven and Jim having a huge argument only two days after you’ve been gone from the cabin. Since you and your family weren’t around to make her occupied, the air between them got heavier and heavier. She was pissed about Mike, about Hopper keeping her under a constant lockdown, she was just mad and alone.

So the whole cabin just seemed to explode when the rage got on a level so high that she couldn’t contain it anymore. Eleven manifested her powers since you weren’t around. Normally, when it came to Hopper and her arguing, you were the neutral one, making them sit down and talk about everything - but without you there, oh Lord. Eleven was a protesting teenage girl and Hopper had a bad temper. And the situation got worse and worse - with Hopper not making it on time on the Halloween night.

You could say that some shit went down there when Hopper called you the day after, but you didn’t make too much out of that, because you knew that no matter their natures, they could make it work again. They manage to get through more than three months without you, they could do twelve days, for fuck’s sake.

The red flag came when Hopper hadn’t called you the other day… And the day after that. And the third as well. Only if you knew… Only if you knew what was going on there. There were monsters called Demodogs running around Hawkins, set loose, Hopper had fainted in one of the Mind Flayer’s veins, the rift in the lab needed to be closed as soon as possible and little Will who you liked so much was now controlled by the Mind Flayer.

But you didn’t know that, so naturally, when Hopper hadn’t picked the damn phone up the first three days, you tried to call Joyce. But boy, oh boy, you didn’t know that fucked them up in Hawkins, having the spy inside Will realizing where they were keeping him. When you heard the line ringing, you were excited and when someone picked up, you almost started talking - just to hear some muted voices and breathing before someone put the phone down.

You tried to call the phone again - only to hear as the phone line went dead and unreachable in the next second. You almost panicked, packed all the lacy stuff Hopper had packed you and went to Hawkins to yell his bitch ass down. But then you stopped yourself.

Maybe he got too caught up in a case? Maybe something was going on and Hopper just needed to focus on his damn work for once? Maybe he was off in the cabin with Eleven? That could be true…

But you would kill Hopper first and yell at Eleven seconds if you would know that the girl left the cabin twice actually while Jim wasn’t there - first, she took a fucking hike to Hawkins Middle to see Mike Wheeler with her own damn eyes and then, she went to search for her actual mother, Terry, and a weekend trip to Indianapolis. Your little, fucking fourteen-year-old girl, went to visit Indianapolis on her own while Jim’s ass was locked up in Hawkins Lab. He knew that he would be so dead if you knew.

So that was why he called you back as soon as he got the chance, in the hospital gown with his naked ass showing its glory to everyone in the Lab. It was just about to go down - and he needed to hear your voice before everything turns to shit and before he might… No. He couldn’t tell himself bullshit like that.

“Y/N Y/L/N at the phone, may I help you?” - You asked sweetly, smiling at Aiden who was just calling you a dumb frick because you accidentally did the laundry on a bad temperature, making everything have a bad color - all of his white t-shirts were pink now, thanks to you.

“Hey, baby, it’s me. I know I haven’t called you in the last few days, but I can explain everythin’.” - The known raspy voice told you from the other end of the line and you just grinned, walking into the next room, closing yourself in there.

“James Hopper! Do you even realize how fucking worried I was? Blablabla, I will call you every day, I swear, stop behaving like my mom, blablabla. Bullshit!” - You yelled on the whole room furiously, not giving him space to talk actually.

“Hope you aren’t in Hawkins.” - He said quietly and you could hear other voices in the background. This wasn’t the office mess, as you called it - he was not in the office.

“To your luck, I am still in Dakota. Give me those reasons and maybe, maybe I won’t kick your ass when I get home. But I get to know that something’s wrong with her… God help me, James.” - You hissed when Aiden stuck his damn face into your door and you shoved him back to the hall. That conversation was very private.

“I got too caught up in a case, but I’m fine now. Will is havin’ worse and worse PTSD episodes, so that was why I was off the phone too. And she… She’s doin’ fine, okay? We’re fine. Don’t be worried and stay in Dakota.” - Jim said tiredly and you exhaled out loud. Just as always, you overreacted. They were doing good without you and they were alive and well… Only if you’d know the truth.

“I’m sorry. I just jumped to conclusions too fast. Are you sure that you’re fine?” - You whispered, being relieved. Jim hummed into the phone. This was the last shot to tell you, after all.

“I’ve missed you here, you know? And I love you.” - Jim told you with his eyes shut closed. You closed your eyes as well, nodding even if he couldn’t see you.

“I know that, douchebag. And I love you too. I can’t wait to be back home.” - You said honestly, looking at the calendar on the wall. Only two more days to go and you would be home with them again.

“Need to go now. Keep your goddamn ass safe.” - He said silently and you laughed, telling him something nasty as well before hanging the phone.

In the end, everything played out - the Mind Flayer seemed to be gone, the gate was closed, everyone was alive - and Bob Newby, the superhero, was maybe gone, but not forgotten at all. Everything went seemingly back to normal before the due of your arrival came.

Now, Jim needed to accept the fact that Mike Wheeler and the whole child gang knew that Eleven was alive the whole time and that he couldn’t tear them apart anymore. He didn’t wish her to be locked at the cabin the whole time - but at the same time, the thoughts about Brenner were on the back of his head the whole time.

Just the evening before you were supposed to come, Hopper made every member of the child gang come to the cabin. He sucked with boys at Mike’s age, but there were safety steps that needed to be taken to keep you safe. That was how he interpreted it to them once they were done with fixing the cabin up. He told them that when you were around, Eleven hadn’t got any superpowers, there weren’t and Mind Flayers, Demogorgons, and Demodogs, there was no Upside Down, there was nothing.

He sure did know that he will need to make up some other silver lining for you, but the kids seemed to respond pretty good - and they were all thrilled that every once in a while, Hopper was agreeing with them seeing El at the cabin. Well, if you’d agree with that. And, naturally, there was the whole Snow Ball thing.

When you pulled off at the driveway, you could immediately tell that something had changed about the cabin. First things first, there was no tripwire around the estate. It looked almost polished - and the curtains weren’t drawn. In fact, you could see what’s going on inside.

And even more surprised you were, when you found out that the door was unlocked - and that even if Hopper was at work, Eleven wasn’t home alone at all. In fact, you could count six children sitting around the living room, learning some English with her.

“Oh my God.” - You whispered only once you saw them, immediately thinking about Hopper just being set off if he gets to know. But the kids only looked at you and as Eleven went for a hug, you were terrified of a boy who had a baseball cap on his curls.

“Eleven, baby, I’m really glad that you have friends, but Jim is going to flip out.” - You mumbled into the temple of her head when you hugged her back, watching the rest of the gang just… Existing in your cabin.

“He knows. I asked him and he told yes.” - Eleven told you a smile, taking another tuna sandwich out of the fridge, giving it to you. - “You have to be hungry. I made.” - She smiled and went back to sit next to the Wheeler boy again. Will was sitting in your damn couch next to a girl and the Sinclair boy as you were freaking out, sitting at the table, eating the sandwich.

“Yeah, sure, he will murder us both.” - You mumbled and stood up to catch the attention of the kids. - “Are you guys hungry? I was thinking about making some pancakes, how does that sound?” - You offered a tight voice and most of them were hesitant, but WIll smiled at them.

“Y/N is the best cook. I swear.” - He got up, putting the book down. - “Do you need any help?” - He smiled, pulling his sleeves up. Well, damn you, this was a nightmare and you didn’t want to wake up.

And like that, you made pancakes for the whole party, even pulling off some of Hopper’s triple extravaganza style with Hershey’s kisses and jellybeans. And when Hopper made it home, damn, wasn’t that a funny situation? You were staring at him, getting ready for his temper just going off and he was looking at every move you made, gulping, preparing himself for a long-ass class about being secretive and how having six teenagers isn’t fucking secretive at all.

“Um… Can we for a… Will you guys mind…?” - You spoke nervously to the kids and each of them just nodded smiling at you. You dragged Hopper out and made sure the door and the window is closed before you freaked out. - “Jim, I am sorry, but these kids somehow appeared at our cabin and I didn’t have the heart to tell them to frick off. Just don’t yell, please.”

“I don’t want to yell at you at all. I knew they planned to study here today, I just totally forgot to tell you.” - Jim answered, being as freaked out as you. You motioned on the cabin, raising your eyebrows.

“So you knew about them, okay. Okay? I just need to get my head together, Jesus. So, Eleven isn’t a secret anymore? She’s allowed to have friends now? I just want to know where we’re at these days because it fucking freaked me out to see not one kid, but six of them in my living room.” - You mumbled, leaning your back into the wall behind your back. - “Also, is it me, or does the cabin look… Different? Did you finally repaired the door?”

“More or less. She still can’t go to Hawkins, but… I couldn’t just look at her bein’ all alone in here. We have a lot to talk about, I know, I know, just… Be cool for now, yeah?” - Jim took your shoulder to his palm and held you for a long time, finally realizing you’re back there, with him, alive and well. You smiled and leaned into his touch, feeling safe as well.

“Hey, I’ve missed you there, have I told you that?” - You asked quietly, making sure that the kids can’t see you before you leaned to steal a kiss.

“Hold your damn horses, that’s my catchphrase, miss. But yeah, I know.” - Jim answered your typical answer and you laughed, listening to his heartbeat. So… Your baby wasn’t a secret anymore. She was allowed to see her friends, which was about to put you through the hell and back, especially before you knew that Steve Harrington had broken up with Nancy and he is their babysitter basically, but at that moment, you felt good.

“Also, these kids loved my damn pancakes, so I think I’m good with them.” - You giggled with less panic in your voice.

“And… I need to talk to you about somethin’.” - Hopper mumbled and that caught your attention again, so you rose your chin to look at him. - “We need to get El dress for Snow Ball and I don’t know how the hell are we gonna do that.”

[frozenartscapes]

AN: I don’t entirely know what this is. I’ve seen a few au fics with Byleth becoming a dragon because of her connection to Sothis, and I just thought... What if...

---

It was said that dragons were fearsome beasts. Their thick scales were nearly impenetrable. Their claws could slice through any armour. The fire so hot and filled with magic that only the purest of souls could face it and survive.

There was a reason she was called the Immaculate One.

But dragons were also misunderstood. Humans saw them as terrifying monsters, and while that might be true of some dragons, it didn’t serve as a worthy label for all. While some dragons seemed greedy, hoarding large masses of gold and jewels, others barely held onto anything. While some terrorized the land, others preferred to stay hidden. Dragons, in a way, were very much like humans.

But if there were one fact about dragons that was universal, that spoke for every one of the creatures, big or small, aggressive or passive, it was this: all dragons would risk heaven and earth to protect their greatest treasure.

Just what that treasure was, however, was entirely up to each dragon.

---

They ended up facing Rhea alone. The rest of the Strike Force was held back, keeping the few remaining Knights away. The last thing they needed was a rogue Knight interfering in their fight with a dragon.

Byleth ran to her right, while Edelgard kept left. Together they charged, their weapons glowing with energy. Rhea roared furiously, attempting to swipe at them with massive claws. They both dodged and managed a solid blow each to the dragon’s thick hide.

Rhea roared again, pain evident this time. Before the pair had a chance to regroup, Rhea whipped her tail around. Neither of them could prepare for the blow, and they were both sent flying backward to the ground.

Edelgard slowly pushed herself up. Aymr had been tossed a little further away. She must have lost her grip on it when she hit the ground. Thankfully, she still had her shield, and used it to lift herself to her feet with a grunt.

“You,” Rhea growled viciously, her distorted voice reverberating in the Emperor’s damaged ribcage.

Edelgard braced herself, head snapping up to look for the dragon. There was a brief moment of relief when she realized Rhea wasn’t focused on her.

Panic suddenly rushed in when she realized who was the dragon’s focus.

“Give her back!” Rhea roared, stalking toward Byleth who was still struggling to stand. Edelgard remembered, now: Byleth had pushed her aside just before Rhea’s tail hit...

Byleth, while still on one knee, merely met Rhea’s eyes with a defiant glare.

“Then I will take my mother back from your ashes!” Rhea shrieked, rearing her giant head back. Energy gathered in her mouth, fire and magic growing bright and hot and deadly.

Edelgard didn’t think. If she had, her brain would have told her what she was doing was the dumbest thing she could have ever done. But Byleth wasn’t going to be able to dodge the attack in time, and the Emperor still had a shield.

Just before the dragon fire could consume Byleth, something stopped it. It streamed out on either side, heating the air and charring the ground, but something was diverting it. And that something was a five-foot-tall, furiously determined woman armed with nothing but a shield.

Edelgard felt her feet beginning to slide in the dirt, but she kept pushing. The heat was near unbearable. She could feel her skin and hair beginning to burn. She could barely breathe, the air more like fire in her lungs. But Byleth was still behind her. And Edelgard would not lose her again. 

The bronze and gold of her shield were beginning to melt. She was frankly surprised it lasted this long. Rhea was pushing, but she was beginning to fade. Just...a few more...seconds...

The shield finally gave, being ripped apart by all that magic and heat. Edelgard had only enough time to close her eyes before being consumed by the dragon fire. Byleth, acting solely on instinct dove to the ground and rolled, getting singed but avoiding the worst of it. Rhea gave up not long after.

“El!” Byleth screamed, only just realizing what had happened. Her grip on her sword tightened, and suddenly the only thought in her head was that that stupid dragon had to die.

But then a noise. A groan. Followed by a weak, “My...teacher...”

Byleth looked behind her, and spotted a darkened figure several feet away. Forgetting Rhea, Byleth raced over to her. Edelgard was already pushing herself to her feet. She tossed the handle of her shield - still warped from the fire - away. Her brilliant red armour had been charred black, and much of her hair had been stained grey from ash, but otherwise, somehow, she was fine. Just weary.

“How did you survive that?” Rhea demanded furiously as Edelgard reached for Aymr - which she had been conveniently thrown closer to - and stood up to face her, “No human can survive a blast like that!”

“I don’t want to make it sound like I’m agreeing with the dragon,” Byleth uttered frantically, “But... El...”

“I’m fine, my teacher,” Edelgard replied between heavy breaths, “I can’t explain it. I don’t think I ever can. But all that matters is I’m still standing now.”

Byleth swallowed hard before resolve took hold once again. “Then let’s finish this.”

---

“Now that it’s over...”

“I told you already, my teacher, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

Edelgard was about to argue but a wave of vertigo swept over her, forcing her to grab onto the desk in her tent. They had returned to their base camp after securing Fhirdiad, Rhea defeated and the Knights surrendering. Everyone was a little worse for wear, but none quite so much as the two who had taken on the giant dragon. Neither had wanted to leave the other alone, so they had both decided to return to Edelgard’s tent together.

“You’re paler than normal, El,” Byleth said, her face contorted by worry. It was more emotion than either of them were used to, given recent developments, but that wasn’t the most pressing thing at the moment.

“I’m just tired, Byleth,” Edelgard sighed, “I has been a long day for all of us.”

Byleth frowned and pressed a hand on Edelgard’s forehead. Her frown only deepened. “You’re burning up,” she said.

Edelgard swatted the hand away. “You just came back from the dead! You don’t get to start fussing over me like this when it should be the other way around,” she complained, pouting a little in the way Byleth secretly adored.

“El... You jumped into dragon fire...”

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.”

“You should be dead, Edelgard.”

“But I’m not. I’m here. You’re here. We’re both here now, together, and nothing is going to change that again if I can help-” She gasped suddenly, wincing and grasping the side of her head in pain.

Byleth opened her mouth but Edelgard beat her to it. “I must have struck my head. It’s just a headache,” she said quickly.

Byleth crossed her arms. One look into the Emperor’s stubborn gaze and she knew this was a fight she wouldn’t be winning any time soon. “Fine,” she relented, “Just...just get some rest.”

“You’ll stay, won’t you?” The shift in Edelgard’s voice was almost painful. How it went from strong and confident to timid and small, like a child afraid of the dark, was too much to bear.

Byleth smiled. “Of course.”

She helped Edelgard take off the horned crown that had become tangled in her hair, and then the pair settled under the covers on the bed.

---

Byleth awoke first. El was still asleep beside her, her breathing level and her face relaxed. It was still dark in the tent, but she could see that El had more colour in her complexion again, and Byleth sighed in relief. Maybe she had just been tired last night.

It was just...seeing her disappear in that fire...

She shook the thought away. Carefully, she reached out and ran a hand through Edelgard’s hair. They had only just recently begun sleeping together, more out of necessity than anything. El’s nightmares had picked up significantly after facing Dimitri and Byleth’s company had been the only thing that helped. Byleth didn’t mind. If anything, she adored it. And now, with her heart beating and emotions flooding into her mind, it felt almost overwhelming. All the warm, happy feelings as she held El tight. Like she was being smothered in pillows.

El’s hair was always so soft compared to her own. Byleth loved running a hand through it. She especially loved the way El would melt into it, even when asleep. A little smile would form on her face and she’d let out a soft, happy sigh.

But then Byleth’s hand was stopped by something. She frowned in confusion, feeling out the hard, ridged object in El’s hair in the dark. It was cool to the touch, smooth, and curled around El’s forehead. It tapered off to a point, almost like...

Had El put her crown back on during the night?

Byleth sat up and reached for the nearby lamp. With it lit, the first thing her eyes landed on was the Emperor’s golden crown, still exactly where they had left it on the desk the night before.

Byleth felt her newly beating heart stop, just for a second. Huh. So that’s what people are talking about when they speak of shock...

She peered down warily at the sleeping Emperor. And she couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping.

They looked almost exactly like the crown. Perhaps a little less shiny. And they swept out a little further from her head, and stood a little taller. They were also sharper.

“El,” Byleth whispered urgently, shaking the Emperor’s shoulder perhaps a little harder than she wanted to, “Edelgard, wake up!”

Edelgard groaned and reached up to rub the sleep out of one eye. To Byleth’s relief, nothing else about her had really changed. Her eyes were normal, albeit a little droopy from waking up before she was ready. Her skin was the same. No scales or any other worrying signs. Hmm... Were her ears a little pointy? It was hard to tell.

But really, it was just the...the...

“What is it, my teacher?” Edelgard asked. She was staring at Byleth with concern, a frown already working its way onto her face as she noticed her distraught advisor. 

“Um... You, uh...” How exactly does one tell someone these things? Byleth was absolutely certain that if there was a way, she’d be the last person to know it. At a loss for words, she merely mimed with her fingers, bringing her hands up and tracing out the shape from the sides of her head.

Edelgard tilted her head slightly in confusion. Slowly, she followed Byleth’s vague instruction by reaching up to her own head. When her hand met it, Byleth figured El thought the same thing she had, because lilac eyes suddenly flew to the desk where the crown still sat.

After that confirmation was made, Edelgard shakily began to investigate, carefully working her hands along the smooth surface to the very tips of both growths. She paused a little to poke the tip of one with her finger, flinched, then pulled her hand away to reveal a dot of blood on the tip of said finger. So they were apparently really sharp...

Edelgard met Byleth’s eyes again and there was a solid minute neither of them said anything. They merely stared at one another, unsure of what to think, feel, or say. Edelgard broke first, though, and the usually articulate Emperor of Adrestia barely managed to stammer out:

“I...um... I appear to have... Horns.”

---

AN: I have no idea where to go from here or if I even should. I just liked the idea of Edelgard being able to turn into a dragon. Nothing would piss Rhea off more, and Edelgard probably wouldn’t be thrilled about it too much, either. But it would maybe give me an excuse to write a post-war interaction with El, Byleth, Seteth and Flayn. Because if anyone would know what exactly happened...

Also all the shenanigans. Edelgard not used to having horns (because she could take the crown off if she ever needed to and you can’t exactly do that with something growing out of your head...). Maybe her ears change into something more like Sothis’ (Elfgard?). As a result, her emotions end up being more obvious despite her best efforts because her damn ears keep giving her away. Maybe she gets fangs. Maybe the state of her appearance actually hinges on emotion and feeling certain things makes her more dragon or human. All of the Black Eagles reacting differently. Some of them take it well. Some do not. Some ask if she’ll give them rides on her back when she learns how to fully transform (Caspar... Byleth...).

I don’t see her turning into a full-sized dragon. She is still human, after all. My only explanation I can think of right now is that by choosing to save Byleth - El’s treasure - she demonstrated having the heart of a dragon so she didn’t die by the dragon fire. Rather, it sort of... Changed her. But she’s always been protective of Byleth and now even more so. And all her Black Eagles. Her treasure.

I don’t know. If anyone would like to contribute to this, I’d be happy to talk about it. @patricia-von-arundel, what do you think about this?

[canelainnyc]

my current daydreams’ soundtrack.

As intimidating as the NYC train/subway system can appear to be, it’s (still) my favorite part about living in this city. The array of faces you’ll find yourself locking eyes with for a solid 2.5 seconds, I guarantee you will not find anywhere else on the face of this planet. While some will smile back, others will continue to stare until you’ve realized awkward has won this battle and you must now focus your eyes on the poorly executed pantyhose advertisement displayed throughout 85% of the subway car. Yes, this city screams culture and you’ll find it tucked away within the hundreds of neighborhoods in all five boroughs, but I strongly believe the hub for all of NYC’s culture is the subway. You’re either sleeping, reading or listening to music while riding the subway—I usually find myself doing the latter because reading (I’ve tried doing twice) makes me train sick. My Spotify playlist is curated with songs I currently find soothing for the soul and playing more than three times in a row. Newfound songs, revisited classics and songs that I know trigger deep feels. I self-inflict deep feel daydreams through my curated playlist because I’ve found that the subway is the perfect and acceptable platform for me to do this and as soon as I’ve arrived at my stop I can easily snap back to reality. The following tracks are my current daydream’s soundtrack…

Songs I lose myself stupid to:

·      Kingdom feat. SZA—“Down 4 Whatever”

·      Sabrina Claudio’s entire discography.

·      River Tiber feat. Daniel Caesar—“West”

·      Marco McKinnis—“How I Feel”

·      H.E.R.—her entire track collection

·      Washed Out—“Hard To Say Goodbye”

·      Carla Morrison—“Tu Atacas”

·      El Michels Affair—“Snakes”

·      ALL of Daniel Caesar’s collection. Every single track.

·      Tom Bailey—“Get To You;” for those moments when the subway car you’re currently chillin’ in is riding alongside another subway car and you’re now catching a slow motion glimpse of new beautiful faces. If you’re lucky enough, you can awkwardly lock eyes with one of them, to never see them again. True story.

·      SZA—any track from CTRL; I instantaneously want to lip sync to every track, arms in the air like I just don’t care.

·      Emmit Fenn—“Everybody Else”—this track meshes so well when we’re traveling over the east river and the entire NYC skyline is visible, Ms. Liberty herself and the Brooklyn Bridge.

·      Justin Hurwitz (Celesta)–“Mia & Sebastian’s Theme”

·      Da-P, theMIND, Sun—“Ms. Communication”

·      Julio Jaramillo—“Devuelveme el Corazon”

·      ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING featuring GOLDLINK. Thass-my bb.

·      Snoh Aalegra’s latest and greatest; GET INVOLVED. Vocals and soul for days! Ugh.

·      Solange’s “I Decided, Part 1” is on my timeless track list; anytime it comes on through my shuffle my mood makes a 180 for the bettah.

Anytime these cuts come through the shuffle, I’m once again finding myself hoping, wishing, praying the entire train car breaks out in dance:

·      Dabeull—“DX7”

·      Aaron Camper—“Heat”

·      Whitney Houston—“If I Told You That”

·      Pete Rock, Inl—“No More Words”

·      Vanjess feat. Masego—“Touch the Floor”

·      Lianne La Havas (GRADES remix)—“What You Don’t Do”  

·      Mark Morrison—“Return of the Mack”—all of a sudden I’m back in San Diego with Carlos, Andy, Karina, and Daisy. The Gaslamp District is calling our inebriated havin’ booties and this song is blasting through our Uber driver’s Jeep. Life is always a party with these love crumbs

·      Le Youth—“Me Without You”—quickly reminded how much I keep forgetting to set a FaceTime date with Eric so that we can pick up on my DJ lessons

·      TLC “Creep”—the shoulders can’t help but move a little; a subtle “rockaway”

·      Leikeli47—“Money”

·      Bruno Mars—“Chunky”

·      Little Dragon—“Strobe Light”

·      La India—“Ese Hombre”

·      Migos—“Out Yo Way” and “Slippery”

·      Gucci Mane feat. Migos—“I Get The Bag”

·      Ariana Grande—“One Last Time”

·      Total feat. The Notorious B.I.G.—“Can’t See You”

·      MNDR (RAC Mix)—“Feed Me Diamonds”

·      Electric Punanny feat. The.Wav—“Gymnastics on Fire”

·      Yandel—“Besame”

·      Joe Arroyo—“La Noche”

·      Chaka Demus—“Murder She Wrote”

·      Kahli Abdu—“Romantic Girl”

…and many more/y mas!

[promptguardianship]

#QuirkyQuip

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." from Tale of Two Cities. The #QuirkyQuip for today's opening line is...ZEBRA. The gauntlet is thrown down, folks. Dazzle us with your creativity and general full-of-shitness.

 June 27

I have traveled long and far, through sandstorms, survived a Bandersnatch attack and dodged a Sarlacc.

 PS: I'm typing this with my arm hanging by a thread. Does anyone have a health potion for me?

 June 28

I plummeted to the dirt floor clutching three tickets in my bloodied fist. The tickets, one for each prompt were...

Getting them from the roaring ogre almost cost me my leg. My ascended armor wasn't a waste of time and gold.

 June 29

I am one arm down due to the Bandersnatch and an injured leg from the roaring ogre.

But today, I was blessed; Hedwig the owl delivered the messages...

Now he wants a finger in payment! Does Harry have to pay?

 June 30

She crawls from the murky water, covered in debris and smelling like decayed organic matter. The prompt receptacle is clutched tightly to her chest.

"Damn hybrid! It took my eye!"

 July 1

The obsidian sludge bubbled and glooped; heat simmered with a burnt-toast stench. Venturing in to retrieve the prompts would consume her hair, her skin. She turned away; she'd make up the words for today. No one would know.

 July 2

My grip slipped as finality pooled in the tips of my boots dangling inches from a hellhound's maw.

Another arm would've been 'handy'. I giggled hysterically despising the prompt gods who knew Hades would fight for these:

 July 3

Immortality didn't exempt me from pain. I wasn't on duty thanks to Hades. But it shouldn't have surprised me when @synikalangel stumbled across my threshold—bloodied and panting—with prompts clutched in her gloveless hand.

 July 4

I nudged @synikalangel with my toe.

"No prompts," she mumbled from her sherry-induced paralysis.

"I can't go, Syn! My missing hand itches and my glass eye keeps falling out."

"F#$%@k it, Sev. I ain't going."

Enough said.

 July 5

I was a pathetic sobbing mess as I one-arm crawled with the Holy Prompt in-pocket. I'd survived the Grotto of Death, having incorrectly answered a riddle.

How was I supposed to know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

 July 6

"Please," I begged, as the dragon's fetid breath swathed my face. "I just need the prompts. Not your gold."

INTRUDER, the voice rumbled in my head as fear pooled in my innards.

 July 7

The blaze roared voraciously. Beads on leather strips slapped my naked thighs, spirals of dust rose with each stamping foot.

This Wakandan tribal ritual was survivable.

 July 8

I grimaced as I spotted the canister hanging from a chain around the turtle's neck.

When I said turtle, I meant Kraken-turtle! I couldn't hold my breath for longer than 2 minutes...

This prompt mission just might kill me.

 July 9

Hades smirked, his chest an inch away from mine. His 'devilish' handsomeness made my insides flutter.

"For tart's sake, just give me the damn prompts."

"Make me," he said, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

 July 10

A hot hand gripped my hip, rousing me from slumber.

"Do you need today's prompts?" Hades asked, pressing a heated kiss to a taut nipple. I groaned. "Then the collar stays on." And he tugged me to my knees.

 July 11

Two days of servicing Hades had all my bits and pieces aching.

I'd rather face Medusa; unfortunately, she'd accidentally seen her reflection in her rearview mirror.

"Ready?" He tugged me closer.

 July 12

I gagged as I swallowed the slimy gillyweed. Of all the cursed places to hide the prompts, with Poseidon was the worst.

I'd be lucky to escape with just a trident up my ass.

 July 13

I choked on the dust, then sneezed. Sweat dripped from my brow onto the freshly swept floor.

"You'll have to wipe that, y'know," the troll said, cleaning his dirty fingernails with a screwdriver.

 July 14

The massive bear shifted into a gorgeous, naked man. I ogled, unashamedly. "If you stay, you'll be claimed," He reeked of arrogance. And bear. If it wasn't for Hades I might've let him claim me, vigorously.

 July 15

"Die, you stupid beast!" I bellowed, swinging my sword with my one arm, missing the Jabberwocky by a mile. I dodged his purple flames, feeling the heat licking my ass.

"Go, Sev!" Alice cheered from the sidelines; the lazy git.

 July 16 - @Synikalangel

"You've got nothing," he chuckled, flashing his fangs as he waved the paper.

"Wrong again," I growl, cleaving him in half with a blast of my magic. He collapsed and I grabbed the slip. It was MY week to deliver the list.

 July 17 - @Synikalangel

Crimson drips steadily from my split lip, but I reach down, pulling up my rapidly dwindling magic, flames appearing along my fingers. A smirk plays along my mouth. "Easy way or hard way?" I hope for the latter. #authorlife

 July 18 - @Synikalangel

The dagger twisted in my hip, and my lips parted in pain. Isaac gripped my swollen jaw, forcing my eyes up to look at him. "You're out of magic, so let us see if your mouth can pay for those prompts." #authorlife

 July 19 - @Synikalangel

The broken chain trailed behind me, a solitary shackle around my ankle as I trudged over the broken bodies of the fallen. I pant, dropping to my knees, clutching my treasure to my chest.

 July 20 - @Synikalangel

*Feels @sevannah_storm heated stare across oceans and yelps* I have the LIST!

 July 21 - @Synikalangel

Abigail thrust her hand towards me, and our fingers touched. Her emerald fire spiraled up my arm, scorching my flesh on a metaphysical level. Her magic became mine and we faced the demons. "Round two," she muttered.

 July 22 - @Synikalangel

"That was the most disgusting thing we've ever done," I complain, cringing as I flex my rounded butt cheeks.

 "Yeah, well, we had to hide the list somewhere," @sevannah_storm commented.

 "Still," I mutter, annoyed.

 July 23

??

 July 24

"If I get this mark, I'll have unlimited access to the prompts?" I peered at a smirking Hades. "And the tatt is..?"

Property of Hades was now stamped on my left butt cheek. It's true what they say, the left side is evil.

 July 25

Hades leaned closer, brushing the tip of his nose down the column of my neck. I clutched the prompts to my heaving chest, like a lifeline.

"Will you keep your word?" He jerked at my words. "Or will you be a dick about this?"

 July 26

I awoke to find my limbs pinned to the bed. Hades loomed over me; his face inches from mine.

"I'm off duty! Go share your aspirations of grandeur with @synikalangel!"

"Her turn will come."

"Horny goat," I moaned, huskily.

 July 27

I twirled my hips, hoping I didn't look like a spastic marionette.

If I wanted the prompts, I'd have to dance for Jabba or feel the wrath of his Sarlacc. As I saw it, my life depended on my seductive-shimmy.

I was so screwed.

 July 28

I flipped the bird, testing out my cybernetic limb's neural connections. It was a reward, or bribe, from the Guardian Council for my sacrifice.

"Awesome." Tony grinned, pressing a kiss to the Stark logo on my metal wrist.

 July 29

"So, you're an immortal, doomed to repeat your plummet every time your wings melt?"

Icarus grimaced as he carved the wax into feathers. "Yes; the gods can be cruel."

"Why don't you just fly at night?" His head shot up.

 July 30

"You want me to get these prompts for you?" The man before me oozed competency.

"Yes. If anyone can navigate the collectors AND the reapers, it'd be you. For credits, of course."

"And a little something else?"

I sighed.

 July 31

"So, 50% chance I die?" I dubiously eyed the vat of glowing green goo.

"Or 50% chance of superpowers." @synikalangel shrugged.

"Who's that?"

"From organ donors; someone wants your heart."

"Igor? Hades?"

"The Lazarus project."

 August 1

I blinked in disbelief at the Martian before me.

Take me to your leader...hissed through my mind.

"Which one?" I asked. He shuddered, puffed out then exploded.

 Bloody hell! I think I've started an intergalactic war. Oops.

 August 2

"Shave Chewy? He'll kill me, Daisy." I chewed on my lip nervously. "He's got no eyebrows!" I peeked at Chewy then back at her. "I could sneak hair remover into his conditioner?"

"Do it! He put tauntaun sperm in my moisturizer!"

 August 3

I drew in a deep shuddering breath. My inner girl shrieked deafening my thoughts. Large licorice-shaped leeches snaked between my legs, slimy and hungry.

Hades-bastard had thrown the prompts into the Styx's murky depths.

 August 4

I awoke with a start. A winged man peered down at me Tall, muscled and glowing.

"You're mine, bought and paid for." His deep voice rumbled like distant thunder.

"What?" I squeaked as Hades' tatt on my butt cheek tingled.

 August 5

I admired the sunset, cocooned in Marcus's arms and wings.

"You have Hades's mark," he rumbled in my ear. "If he hasn't kept his word, it will throb warning you of this. I can feel it through my sarong."

"Skirt," I teased.

 August 6

On a glowing pedestal, the statue of a golden monkey called to me. It had the prompts gripped in its eternal grasp. Strange clicking noises ricocheted off the cave walls. Shrouded in darkness, for now, I crept forward.

 August 7

"A golden monkey, you say?" @synikalangel asked.

"Yip. Dealing with a clicking, invisible predator was bad enough; I had to then give the monkey an emerald."

"Let me guess, it wanted El Corazón? AND you had it on you?"

"Yip."

 August 8 - @Synikalangel

I sit on the floor, sobbing, empty chocolate wrappers around me. "Keep going, we need to find it," @sevannah_storm urges. I shake my head, fresh tears gushing. "I can't take it. What if I get another coconut one?"

 August 9

Dragging my harpoon gun behind me, I dry-heaved. Again.

"Sev!" @synikalangel complained. Sewerage water soaked our jeans up to our knees. She turned and pointed her gun at a ripple. At that moment, I was glad she was with me.

 August 10

"Dammit, Sev! How can you trust this man-whore?"

"@Synikalangel! Language! Tony Stark built my arm. He can build you a leg. Besides, I owe you for letting that sewerage-croc eat it." She grimaced at my reminder.

 August 11

"You're back early," @synikalangel greeted as I strolled in.

"It was an easy quest today. Apparently, yesterday's misspelling debacle reached the council's ears. I had to do a spelling bee. A 5th grader almost kicked my ass."

 August 12

My cybernetic arm hung limply so I swung my other fist. It connected, enough to vibrate up my arm, numbing it. The centaur stared at me, unperturbed. Bloody horse.

With a snort, he grabbed and pinned me to his furry chest.

 August 13

"Here a Cretan bull's horn skewered me," @Synikalangel flashed a scar on her hip.

"Nothing beats losing my arm to a Bandersnatch."

"You two do this every time you get drunk," Geralt of Rivia muttered. "I win, happy now?"

 August 14

"Honestly, Sev! You're overreacting!" @synikalangel drew my trembling form into a hug. "You've survived a Bandersnatch, an ogre, a turtle-Kraken, a hybrid and various rogerings with Hades! How hard could your mother be?"

 August 15

The pouch landed on the table with a soft thud.

"Dust of the broken heart," I said before @synikalangel could open her mouth.

"You were Gallaghered by Brownies?"

"Yip, and to get to the prompts inside you have to fall in love."

 August 16

"Holy spitballs!" I gasped as I eyed the hissing viper tails. A Typhon! Of all the monsters in all the world...

I palmed my Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

"Come on, baby. Don't let mama down." I pulled the pin and counted.

 August 17

I #stared at the black fish, in a black pond, under the dark shadow of a black apple tree.

"I Retrieved The Prompts To Avoid Yet Another Near-Sevannah Experience," Death said. I nodded my thanks as I sipped at my black tea.

 August 18

I limped through the door, crimson smudges trailing me

"What happened?" @KikiAlexandraS1 squeaked.

"R.O.U.S" I moaned as I dropped into a chair.

"You went into the Fire Swamp? Are you insane?"

 August 19

"You're a prompt guardian; you can find anyone." Toombs pressed a gat to my temple. "Where's he? Where's Riddick?"

"Right behind you," I said.

"I'm not an idiot," Toombs spat.

"You made three mistakes...," Riddick rumbled.

 August 20

"So all I need to do is sneak onto a destroyer in mid-space? And then once on board the star, make my way to the main reactor, deactivate it and remove the prompt vessel?"

"Yes, all without triggering the force."

"Right."

 August 21

"Don't you dare throw that rock at me, you...you hairball!" I yelled at the tiny tittering creature. I hated to admit if only to myself, he was adorable. It tittered again. "A rebel cruiser, you say? They have the prompts?"

 August 22

As first dates went it wasn't bad until he chained my wrists to the dock...

"The Great Dragon thanks you." I gasped as his eyes glowed red.

"I'm not a virgin, you idiot!" A roar thundered from a speck on the horizon.

Oh, shit.

 August 23

"Come on, Sev! You're being a baby."

"I. Am. Not."

"It's just one little injection. You've taken on worse things than this."

"The dentist can take his injection and his drill and shove it up his..."

"Sev!"

 August 24

Holding a Château Cheval Blanc, I tugged the cork off with my teeth, spit it out and drank from the bottle. The prompts were etched in the glass, but I couldn't resist tormenting Dionysus who gurgled beside me in horror.

 August 25

I hung from the rafter, binocs in hand. At precisely 14:19, the sun would shine through the multi-colored rose window, onto the gold cross above the altar. It would reflect the rays, revealing the location of the prompts.

 August 26

"You're just going to 'beam' me up and I'll materialize with all my bits and pieces? Then what?"

"Then we travel to the Vega system."

"How long will that take?"

"Days."

"What? A trip to Mars is 2 years! One way!"

 August 27

The screech from the hull, followed by a skittering sound had me ducking...What the hell?

"Get to the evac pods...!" Olson yelled then gurgled. Blood spluttered out of his mouth and something alien burst from his chest.

 August 28

As I pried it open the door squealed, loud in the deafening silence. Once the gap was large enough, my hands regripped the laser-cutter I'd found in Security. It sliced through these critters like a fork through cheesecake.

 August 29

My boots squelched as I moved down the passage. The flickering lights told me to find the last evac pod. I snorted. What? Like the mutilated body parts smearing the floors and walls weren't a sign?

 August 30

"Worthy," it hissed. The large critter swayed, non-threateningly, as goo dripped off its multi-fangs.

I hefted my laser-cutter, prepared for an attack.

"Dance off?" it challenged and would've arched a brow if it had one.

 August 31

The wailing piercing my eardrums stained my fingers scarlet.

"Stop!" I begged the alien mother. If that was their music...Lord help me. "You win. What do you want?"

"Someone to listen to our poetry," it hissed in my mind.

 September 1

Alone. Sole survivor. The gutted, lifeless ship shrunk as the shuttle traveled deeper into space.

"A.N.I..." I squeaked, spinning to find Hades. "Chart a course for Earth..."

"What...how?"

"Time and space cannot contain me."

 September 2

"ANI, can I jettison someone without compromising the shuttle?"

"There is one person on board, traveler." I glance at Hades and scowled.

"What do you want, Hades?"

"Question unknown," ANI intoned.

"I am...fond of you, Sev."

 September 3  - @Synikalangel

The static over the radio makes it hard for me to discern what @sevannah_storm is saying, but it sounds like her return has prompted an admission of fondness from Hades. I cringe, shaking my head. What was she up to now?

 September 4

I removed my finger from the radio hoping @synikalangel got my message.

"Fond of me? What does that mean?" I ask Hades.

"I want to...date you."

This was a shitstorm of epic proportions, worse than the Kraken-turtle.

 September 5

Granny's nips! What do I say to that?

Hi mom, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend...Hades?

"To what end?" I ask him. "You date to get married...or have sex regularly."

Probably the latter...but damn! I wasn't THAT good.

 September 6

"Um, what about Persephone?" His tattoo on my butt cheek throbbed.

"What about her?" Hades asked as he sidled closer.

"Legend says she's your wife."

"Perse's my wife? Argh...and Demeter's my mother-in-law? Your mom's nicer."

 September 7

"Hades! You can't judge a girlfriend by her mom."

"Are you or are you not interested?" he asked, sliding his hands over my hips. Oh, holy mother of mint balls! This could be the best of times or the worst...

"Yes," I breathed.

 September 8

"Strip," Hades commanded. I huffed, liking his expression but not his tone.

"I'm not your slave." I pressed my hand against his chest.

"Strip or I'll tear your clothes off you, Sev." He smirked. "You can disembark naked."

 September 9

Oomph.                      Please move your knee.

 Ohhh.                 Grunt.

 "Are you protected?"

"Your swimmers are fertile?" I gasped.

"Nevermind..."                                           Throaty moan.

 September 10

"Is @Synikalangel getting the prompts for you?"

"I get them 'for free' when I'm with you. Apparently, the universe deems you dangerous enough...Or did you organize this?"

"Interfere? I would never!"

"Yeah, right," I snorted.

 September 11

"I don't like you in danger." Hades tugged me into his arms.

"What? Like no more prompt guardianship?"

"I command it," he boomed, using his hell voice.

"Oh no, you didn't!"

 September 12

"I love it when you get angry; it arouses me..."

"I don't want to hear it," I scolded Hades. "You've had me twice already."

"But as my girlfriend..."

"You get it when I say so."

"How about now?"

"Ok."

 September 13

The shuttle shuddered beneath me and it wasn't from Hades' sexual prowess.

"ANI?" I squeaked.

"It is the Borg," the robotic voice said.

"Oh, shit!"

"Relax, Sev." Hades pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder. "I created them."

 September 14

"Just because you created the Borg doesn't mean they'll obey you!" I stomped my foot. "Honestly, your arrogance is..."

"Phenomenal, godly...panty-dropping?" Hades chuckled. With a flick of a hand, the approaching cube halted.

 September 15

Not even an hour after the Borg had receded...

"Holy tamale! Is that Great A'tuin? I thought she was just a story."

"Most stories are based on some level of truth," Hades mumbled, his lips feathering along my thigh.

 September 16

"Can we take a break? I'm starting to get friction burns. I'd like to disembark without walking like John Wayne."

"I could heal you?" Hades offered.

"Let's just talk, you know...like a couple."

He grimaced. "Talk?"

 September 17

"30 Minutes," ANI's voice mingled with our ragged breathing. Wings beat on the outside of the shuttle, increasing with deafening intensity.

"My demons welcoming me home," Hades said as he rode me all the way down to Earth.

 September 18

Seconds before the shuttle docks, Hades turns to me.

"Sev, will you live with me? These 3 days have been the best. I don't want to lose that, lose you."

"Can I leave Tartarus when I want to?"

"With guards...I need you safe."

 September 19

"I can't be running around with demons on my ass, Hades! And I can take care of myself." I tried not to pout. It was a struggle.

"Sev, how much of you is non-organic?"

"It's on my bucket list to be 100% cyborg," I quipped.

 September 20

"I'm off to see the Guardian Council."

"You're not resuming your duties." Hade's stubborn chin rose.

"I've ass-demon bodyguards. And by now everyone knows we're bonking. I'll be fine. I ain't your kryptonite, babe."

 September 21

"I know Superman."

"You do not!" I gasped.

"All stories based on fact, remember."

"Do you know all of them? Kirk, George, David, Christopher, John, Gerard, Dean, Tom, Henry, and Tyler?"

"I know Kal-El."

"Shut the eff up!"

 September 22

"Do zombies exist?"

"Don't be an idiot."

"Shifters do. I've...," I hesitated.

"You've what?" Hades arched a brow.

"I...I met one, up close."

"You slept with a wolf?" His face darkened.

"A bear, and we didn't...y'know."