#I’ve been waiting all day for leaked photos of him to come out

[vampzity]

my eyes only | K.HJ

★ DAY FOURTEEN: NUDES WITH HONGJOONG ★

pairing: bf! hongjoong x f! reader

as hongjoong is stuck working late in the studio, you’re left with nothing but boredom to keep you company. it doesn’t hurt to send a spicy “i miss you” photo does it? what about a video?

[warnings]: MDNI 18+ !!!, smut, nudes, masturbation, clit play, pet names (baby, pretty girl), use of toys (dildo)

word count: 1.3k

⚠️PLEASE NOTE: pictures in this story DO NOT depict what MC looks like body wise!! it’s just for the plot so ofc just insert yourself as always ^^ ty ty !

Hongjoong stared at the ceiling in defeat as the clock struck 2 am. He was far from done with the last track of their upcoming album and was already growing tired. His booming amounts of inspiration were slowly fading as the night progressed and he felt defeated.

Meanwhile you sat in the bathtub aching for his touch, his warmth. You had trouble sleeping as Hongjoong wasn’t there to wrap his arms around you and bring you comfort, but you understood how important his work was. It wasn’t something you wanted to interrupt especially if he was stuck in a zone he tried to stay in.

So here you were, waiting and waiting. You’ve watched tv, you tried to distract yourself with countless minutes of scrolling but to no avail. Now you sat in a bathtub, alone, waiting for when he would finally come home to you.

[2:03 AM] You: when are you coming home? I’m so lonely 🙁

[2:04 AM] Captain 🖤: I’m not sure baby, I’ve hit a dead end.

You sighed to yourself, knowing it meant he wasn’t leaving that studio any time soon. You’ve always heard of writers block for books, for english majors, but never for song writers or producers.

Perhaps he just needed to take his mind off it and refresh. But god, you were so horny.

[2:06 AM] You: well maybe you should take a break?

[2:07 AM] You: *1 attachment*

Hongjoong picked up his phone, eyebrow raised as he wondered what it was you could’ve sent him. Maybe it was a funny video, some random meme you found whilst scrolling on twitter to cheer him up a bit.

Oh no, it definitely wasn’t that. It was far from anything he could’ve been thinking— perhaps even the last thing on his mind this late at night.

[2:07 AM] You:

Hongjoong felt his dick twitch in his pants as he stared at your wet legs. He imagined what your cunt would look like under all that water, begging for it to be touched— touched by him. He rubbed his clothed cock softly, feeling his bulge grow at your sudden message.

[2:11 AM] Captain 🖤: Bathing this late? 😳

You smiled, feeling your heart pound. You rarely took a moment to send anything this risqué to Hongjoong, but when you did it sure made your body heat up.

You got out of the bath, drying yourself off and wrapping yourself with a towel. Hongjoong waited eagerly for your response, unsure whether to expect another photo or just a plain response from you.

[2:15 AM] You: is it wrong for a girl to send a photo when her dear boyfriend is missed ?🙁

You looked in the mirror, fixing the bath towel just slightly for him to see enough of your chest, even if it was merely a shadow of cleavage. You held the phone out in front of you, snapping a quick picture and sending it him as you walked out of the bathroom and into your shared room to change.

[2:16 AM] You:

Hongjoong quickly clicked on your message, rolling his eyes playfully at the photo. He continued to rub his clothed cock softly, practically drooling at much you liked to tease him.

[2:18 AM] Captain🖤: Baby stop teasing me. Show me how pretty you are.

Your face flushed red as you thought about his cock and how badly you wished to feel it while he leaked all over your hands. You slipped on some casual lingerie for him, admiring yourself in the mirror before texting him back.

[2:20 AM] You: but what’s the fun in that :(

You stood there for a moment, biting your lip softly.

[2:20 AM] You: i wish i was there to see the look on your face Joongie.

Hongjoong sighed to himself, placing his phone down. He pulled his member out of his pants, rubbing the tip of his cock slowly. He threw his head back, stroking himself gently as he thought of your body. He wished he was home with you, feeling your curves as he thrusted himself into you.

[2:25 AM] Captain🖤: If you keep teasing me, you won’t get anything when I come home to you.

You giggled, holding your phone out in front of you to take a picture.

[2:28 AM] You: ay eye, captain 😉

[2:28 AM] You:

Hongjoong’s eyes widened as his strokes grew faster. His cock leaking onto his fingertips as his veins pulsated.

“Fuck. You’re so pretty.” he spoke to himself.

You stuck your hand into your underwear, running your fingers against your clit softly. You moaned softly, arching your back as your bud reacted to the sensation. You fastened your pace, thinking of his hands working your cunt as you laid there and submit to him.

You quickly pulled off your panties, pointing the phone to your sopping folds. You played with your slick, whimpering as it webbed around your fingers. You snapped a picture, sending it to Hongjoong immediately.

[2:35 AM] You: *1 Attachment*

[2:35 AM] You: i wish these were your hands :( feels so good

Hongjoong admired your soaked folds, how it glistened in the flash of your camera. He let out a loud groan, covering his cock with his pre cum as he imagine himself inside of you.

[2:37 AM] Captain 🖤: Look at my pretty girl.

[2:38 AM] Captain 🖤: Send a video for me, please baby.

You dug into your drawer, pulling something out from it. You laid back in bed, pressing it against your cunt softly. A soft hum came from you as you pushed it inside of you. You moved it slowly, imagining it was his cock inside of you as it hit your sweet spot.

You held your phone in front of your cunt, the flash capturing your slicked folds as the toy moved in and out of you. You moaned softly, making sure the video caught sound of you enjoying yourself just for him. You hit send, continuing to play with yourself as you ached to cum.

[2:45 AM] You: *2 Videos*

[2:46 AM] You: come home joongie, she misses you.

Hongjoong played the video, watching as you fucked yourself slowly. Your breathless moans and whispers were music to his ears, making him go haywire as he tried to keep his composure. His strokes grew faster, feeling all that built up pressure within his cock as he watched your swollen cunt cum all over the toy.

He couldn’t take it anymore and he was sure he’d regret it tomorrow, but he needed you. He gave up trying to resist it.

You phone buzzed next to you, the familiar ringtone letting you know it was your beloved boyfriend.

“Hi baby. How’s work?”

Your sweet succulent voice made his breath hitch as he heard the faint sound of your cunt being played with in the background.

“Cut the shit.” Hongjoong quickly put his member away, getting up from the desk as he saved his progress on the computer and turned it off.

“I’m coming home. Be ready for me when I get there.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you heard the lust in his voice, making you stop what you were doing. Chills ran up your spine as you thought of what he could possibly do to you, especially after all the teasing you’ve done.

“You’re hearing me, right baby?”

Hongjoong packed up his things, his mind still racing with thoughts of you and your body, how much you missed and craved for his touch.

“Mhm. Loud and clear.”

A smug smile appeared on his face as he grabbed his keys, turning off the lights in the studio.

“Good. I have a lot to give for someone who likes to be a tease.”

back to valentine’s masterlist

a/n: and that concludes our 14 days of kinks!! ty all sm for joining me on this little event of mine! ive added some extra days to the masterlist so def check those out if you’re interested! :3

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[emily-mooon]

Me and the moots @ Jonathan Byers:

[pickingupmymercedes]

Diamonds - Lewis Hamilton

Part of 1K Jukebox Event

song: Diamonds - Rihanna - anon

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

genre: pure fluff

wordcount: +1k

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

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“Alright, how much do you think we broke the internet?” Lewis’s voice is playful as he lounges beside me on the couch, his phone in hand, eyes glinting with mischief.

I grin, glancing at my own phone before tapping into the app. “I’d say… a solid nine out of ten meltdown. Maybe an eight if we’re being modest.”

“Babe, we just hit a solid ten. Easily.” He raises an eyebrow, clearly amused.

“You think so?” I tilt my head, pretending to be unsure, even though I know we probably did. It wasn’t every day you managed to keep your entire wedding a secret and then casually dropped the bomb on the world days later.

Lewis laughs, tossing his phone onto the coffee table before pulling me closer, our legs tangling together on the couch. “I know so.”

With a smirk, I open the post that started it all. Our wedding.

We’d managed to pull off the impossible—a private ceremony, completely under the radar. No leaks, no spoilers. Just our closest family and friends, and then a couple of days of blissful privacy in our honeymoon.

The caption to Lewis's post was simple: “I choose to be happy”

We hadn’t even intended to post anything so soon, but it became obvious it would leak. And we also wanted to have our family and friends join in on the fun.

Now, though, the truth was out. And the reaction? Wild.

“Did you see this one?” Lewis leans over, showing me a comment from one of his teammates. “About time, mate. Thought you’d never lock her down.’

I laugh, shaking my head. “You should probably let him know I was the one pushing the ceremony”

He shrugs, grinning that boyish grin of his. “It was right when it was meant to be, babe.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the smile creeping onto my face. “Cute but cheesy”

We’ve gone through hundreds of comments already—fans, friends, family. All chiming in with their congratulations, shock, and, of course, some jokes.

But then I come across one that makes me pause.

“‘I always knew he was in love with her,’” I read to myself, tapping the comment to expand it. “‘There’s this one picture from the 2021 season, right after the race, where he’s looking at her like she’s the only person in the world. That’s when I knew.’”

I glance over at Lewis, who’s now scrolling again, oblivious to the growing warmth in my chest. “Hey,” I nudge him with my foot. “Listen to this one.”

He raises an eyebrow, a curious smile playing on his lips. “Yeah?”

I clear my throat dramatically. “‘I knew he was a goner during that post-race photo from 2021.’” I give him a pointed look, waiting for the memory to hit.

He blinks, then laughs, his head falling back against the couch. “Monaco, right?”

“Mmhmm.” I nod, smirking. “You were supposed to be celebrating, but someone caught you staring at me instead of at your trophy.”

He grins sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “You did look better than the trophy.”

I roll my eyes, but I’m laughing. “So, you admit it then?”

“Can’t really deny it.” He leans in, kissing my cheek before settling back, his hand resting comfortably on my thigh.

I bite my lip, feeling the heat creep into me. I’ve always known he’s loved me, but hearing him talk about these little moments? It always had an effect on me

I quickly look back at the comments before I melt into a puddle on the couch. The next one makes me laugh out loud.

“‘I’ve been telling y’all for years! Lewis is a SIMP for her. This man was so obvious.’”

Lewis raises an eyebrow at that one, then snatches the phone from my hand to read it himself. “‘Simp?’ Really? Is that what they’re calling me now?”

I snicker, nodding. “Pretty much.”

He shakes his head, but he’s smiling. “I’d call it... strategic devotion.”

I burst out laughing. “That’s what you’re going with?”

He grins, leaning back with his arms behind his head, looking smug. “Sounds better than simp, doesn’t it?”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t help smiling. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, babe.”

He laughs, pulling me into his side, his hand resting comfortably on my hip as we keep scrolling.

Another comment catches my eye, and I nudge him again. “Okay, this one’s actually funny. ‘Lewis, can you fight? Because what do you mean you just swooped in and married her.’”

He cracks up at that, glancing at me with a smirk. “You’ve got fans ready to throw hands for you”

I shrug, pretending to be nonchalant. “I’m a catch.”

“Clearly.” He leans in, pressing a kiss to my temple, and I feel that familiar warmth spread through me again. “But for the record, I could fight if I had to.”

I raise an eyebrow, smirking at his possessiveness. “Oh, yeah?”

“Always” he says, voice soft but sure, his eyes locking with mine.

For a moment, everything goes quiet. It’s just us, wrapped in this comfortable silence, the weight of his words settling between us.

We’ve been together for years, but being his wife now? It feels different. In the best way possible.

“Here’s a good one,” I murmur. “‘We knew he was a goner the minute he posted that story of her making breakfast with no captions.’’”

Lewis glances over, his smile turning a little softer. “You were making those pancakes with the berries, wearing my hoodie. I couldn’t resist.”

“You mean my hoodie,” I correct him lightly.

“Right,” he says, his voice rich with amusement. “Your hoodie that I paid for.”

I roll my eyes but can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips. “Glad we agree”

He kisses the top of my head, and we settle back into reading the comments, each one a little window into how people see us. It’s funny, really, how much they pick up on.

As we continue reading, another comment catches my eye, and this one stops me for a different reason. “‘The way he looks at her and how he’ll always find her in the crowd. She’s his own personal diamond.’”

I fall silent, the words sinking in, and Lewis seems to notice because he shifts a little, turning so he can see my face.

“What are you thinking?” he asks gently, brushing a thumb over the back of my hand.

I smile, shaking my head slightly. “It’s just... sometimes, I forget that other people see those moments too. It’s like, to me, they’re just... us. But I guess it’s obvious to everyone else.”

He squeezes my hand, his expression softening. “I don’t mind if they see. You make me proud.”

I look at him, the sincerity in his voice catching me off guard for a moment, and I lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Well, just so you know, I think I won the lottery too.”

And then, before I can get too lost in my feelings, I see another comment and burst out laughing again. “‘I knew he was gone for her when he flew halfway across the world, for a single day, just to surprise her on her birthday. That’s husband energy right there.’”

Lewis grins, rubbing the back of his neck like he’s trying to play it cool, but I see the pride in his eyes. “I had to make sure you knew I’d cross the world for you.”

I try and hide my grin on his shoulder, but he’s quick to pull my chin back up. “I mean it”

“I know. I’ve always known” I softly smile at him before leaving a kiss to the corner of his lips.

“I’ve been in it way before I could accept it” he says quietly, brushing my chin with his thumb.

I swallow, suddenly feeling the weight of all these years we’ve spent together—the ups, the downs, the laughter, the tears.

And now here we are, husband and wife, scrolling through comments about our wedding, like it’s just another day. But it’s not.

I glance up at Lewis and he meets my gaze, his expression open and warm, and I see it, in his eyes, our whole lives.

“Guess we have them all fooled, huh?” I say, trying to keep my tone light, but there’s a hint of emotion behind it.

Lewis shakes his head slowly, a small, knowing smile on his lips. “Nah, they were never fooled” he says, his voice gentle and amused. “They saw it all along, even when we didn’t. Even before we let ourselves admit it.”

His words settle between us, a quiet truth that feels almost startling in its simplicity.

 I search his face, seeing the honesty there, the way he’s always seen through to the heart of things. And maybe he's right. Maybe the rest of the world noticed the way we kept gravitating back to each other, even when we tried to keep it hidden.

I lean closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, feeling the warmth of him against me. “Well, I guess they were onto something, then.”

He smiles into the kiss, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “Yeah. Guess so.”

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[yallthemwitches]

Not a Bang, But a Whimper

During their sixth year, Severus goes out after curfew to give information to Lily that he thinks will bring them back together. Unfortunately, he finds her already with someone else.

A companion piece to my other oneshot "Slipping Away" for Jily Week 2024, Day 7: Continuation Station (hosted by @kay-elle-cee and @sunshinemarauder) Ao3 Link Here

Curfew be damned. Severus ran down the corridor not caring how many portraits awoke from the wand’s light and his heaving breaths. He knew she would be there tonight and it was perhaps his only chance to get her alone to talk some sense into her. 

He was given the news from Avery just after dinner.  “The Dark Lord is recruiting.” Avery kept his eyes down and spoke in a quiet hiss. Even among a table of friends they couldn’t risk the information being leaked. 

Severus’ heartbeat caught. It was the first time in a long time he felt like he had a real sense of power. The Dark Lord could change the whole trajectory of his life—for once, he wouldn’t be counted out. 

“Who is he looking for?” Severus posed. “Can anyone join?” His mind flashed to Lily. For over a year now she had completely abandoned him but there wasn’t a moment that passed where he didn’t think of her. She too was someone who had been given a bad chance at life. Getting an opportunity to join alongside him would secure her in the wizarding world forever. 

“They will take anyone who is willing to give their loyalty,” Avery responded. “I’ve even heard he will take those of less pure blood…if they have something worthy to offer.”

It was all Severus could hope for. No one was more worthy than Lily despite her blood status. He could barely wait until that night when he knew she would be down in the potions room working on one of her little projects. She always did that on Saturday nights when she knew no one would be around to catch her. He went to his bedside table and took out a small crumpled photo he had carried with him since childhood. A small, meek version of himself stared up out of the photograph. Beside him, Lily held onto his hand, beaming. It was a version of them he wished he could go back to—perhaps seeing it she would feel the same. 

Now, he slowed his pace down to a walk and stopped at the statue of Ingrid the Horrid to catch his breath. Grasping onto the marble, he felt his heartbeat slow and started to make himself a little bit more presentable. 

A noise came from the end of the hall and Severus jolted behind the statue. The last thing he wanted was to be caught by Filch at a time like this–especially when he was so close to talking to her. After tonight, there would not be many more chances. She would never entertain him during the day, and the times to catch her alone at night were diminishing quickly.

Lily stepped out into the corridor with her wand lit. Her eyes shone bright in the shadows as she looked back and forth up the corridor.

“Hello?” She called out. She took some hesitant steps down the hall before swerving to look back behind her again. A small noise caught Severus’ attention just on the other end of the corridor, but he ignored it. 

Perhaps it was the nerves that made him not immediately show himself, but he kept watching her for a couple of minutes. She didn’t drop her defenses, clearly still sensing that someone was there. Like a well trained prefect she took small, deliberate steps regarding each side of the corridor, never dropping her wand in case she was about to be attacked.  After a moment she gave a frustrated sigh. He heard the noise again, this time closer.

“Alright, come out–I know it's you.” Snape’s stomach sank. He righted himself, trying to get even the smallest semblance of confidence before stepping out beyond the statue. Something else shifted in the darkness on the other side of the corridor. As though apparating, James Potter suddenly appeared out of the shadows. 

“Oh hello, Evans,” he ran a hand through his hair. “Nice evening isn’t it?”

Severus would have scoffed if he could have. Of course Potter would be cocky and self assured even when he was breaking school rules. 

Lily pursed her lips and he felt a burst of excitement. He knew that look from anywhere. There were very few things Severus enjoyed more in this world than seeing Lily tell off that arsehole. 

“Forget what time it is again, Potter?” She sounded cool, but there was something brewing underneath her tone.

Potter feigned a thoughtful look before clicking his tongue. 

“Hm must have—but then again, I should be asking you the same thing. Don’t you only patrol Tuesday nights?”

Lily froze up. Her wand trembled a little bit in her hand, creating a spattering of new shadows on the walls. 

“You memorized my prefect schedule,” she hissed.

Snape waited for the proverbial hammer to drop. It was one thing for Potter to be out breaking rules, but entirely another to be essentially stalking her. 

“I needed to see you again.”

There was a change in his voice that Severus had never heard before. It was softer. Certainly quieter than his usual boasting during the daytime. It seemed impossible to think, but James Potter seemed to be pleading.

“I’m just gonna say it,” he sighed, “I can’t stop thinking about you—about last night. I’m going mad.” 

This was hardly the first time Severus heard Potter make some sort of sweeping attempt at wooing her. That seemed like a complete waste of time on his part to come all the way out here to try again, but what happened last night? Were they seeing each other more often than he realized?

Lily didn’t draw back, nor did she make her usual face of disgust dedicated to Potter’s antics. Instead, her lips twitched into a small smile. “So what? You came here to try your luck again?”

“Well,” he hesitated, “ I guess…yes?” 

They shared a silence. Severus tried his best to push himself against the statue enough to get a better view of Lily’s face. Her brow furrowed in deep contemplation, but for what reason Severus couldn't understand. The scenario seemed so simple to him—Potter was essentially giving himself over to get detention or even better, hexed because of how brazen he was acting. Instead, Lily bit her bottom lip for a second then let out an exasperated sigh. 

James stepped towards her. “Lily—at least, tell me why you did it.”

It felt like a slap. Severus had never heard Potter use her first name before. He could feel his blood levels begin to rise. He knew he wasn’t exactly close to Lily anymore, but even from an outsider's perspective, it didn’t seem like the two were in any capacity to be on a first name basis and even if they were, he had no right to be soiling her name with his breath.

Lily fiddled with the ends of her hair. Her eyes blinked in rapid succession as she searched for some sort of response. 

After a beat, she whispered, “I don’t know.”

Potter took another step closer. He ran his hand again through his hair, but this time it was more out of exasperation than vanity. 

“How could you not know?” If Severus was confused about James’ tone before it was very clear now. Potter was unabashedly begging. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know.” Lily sighed out. Her eyes were closed now in pain. 

Severus was not following. It was like they were speaking in riddles that only the two of them knew the solution. Clearly, there was a huge oversight on his part about Lily’s relationship with Potter because the Lily he knew would never entertain him for this long, nor would she let her first name come out of his arrogant mouth. 

James took another step closer to her. Now they weren’t more than a foot or two apart. Lily kept her eyes closed, looking as though she wished James would disappear entirely from the scene. Severus had the split thought of coming to help her. All it would take was one flick of his wand….

“But you did like it—” James’ voice sounded so small. Like a meek child asking for permission. “I mean, you were the one…I would never—”

Lily opened her eyes. A fire burned in her gaze, but it was different from the anger he saw pointed at Potter countless times. Something was smoldering within her. 

“Of course I liked it,” she scoffed, “and you don’t need to remind me that I was the one who initiated it.”

Potter looked like someone blew air right into his chest and his cheeks swelled with pink. He took the smallest step closer. 

“Lily—can I…touch you?”

The next few moments were a blur. It wasn’t Potter that closed the distance between them but Lily. All she had to do was lurch forward slightly for Potter’s arms to open. She grabbed onto the parts of his shirt that were bunched up around his waistline while he cradled her cheek and neck. Their faces hovered together with eyes hooded and unfocused. Severus felt a twinge of pain from his hand and realized he was grasping at the stone with all of his grip. 

“Are you still unsure,” James asked. His mouth was slightly open and dangerously close to hers now. As a response, she only pulled him closer, their chests now completely glued together. 

Severus held his breath. He wanted to close his eyes and make it all go away. How had he been so stupid? It was all making sense now. How Lily had stopped rowing with Potter on the grounds, how their friend groups had slowly started to intermingle, how when they partnered together right in front of him in Transfiguration Lily would even laugh at something idiotic that Potter said. He wished he had a time turner to take it all back. Find the moment where the kernel of Lily’s interest in Potter began and remove it from her entirely. Instead, he did nothing but continue to stare as his living nightmare unfolded in front of him. 

“I’m sure I want you to kiss me.” 

It was the death nail. Of course Potter didn’t need to be asked twice. Their lips molded together easily—it was clear they had done this before because there was no awkward hesitation, no issues with synchronicity. Their bodies were already well versed in each other and they profited from it. Lily’s hands moved to his neck, folding themselves into his messy hair which she had denounced more than a thousand times to him in the past. James' in turn were everywhere: sliding up and down her back, on her hips, caressing their way to commit every inch of her to memory. 

Severus leaned his forehead on the statue for support, fearing he might faint or worse vomit from the sight. He watched the couple snog for a few minutes, hardly breaking apart long enough to breath before reconnecting again. He wanted to run, but even if he did, he would know he left Lily there to do whatever ungodly thing Potter could cook up in his arrogant mind. 

They finally broke apart for a moment and Lily leaned her forehead against his to catch her breath. Their arms were still wrapped around the other and their chests beat like one. 

“Go out with me,” Potter gasped out, still trying to get his breath. He stared at her intently but Lily closed her eyes and sighed. 

“James—” The way she said his first name pierced Severus in the heart. How much more of this could he take before he was completely dead. At least then he would be taken out of his misery. 

“I can’t,” Lily finished. She opened her eyes and both her and Severus could see that Potter was pained by her response. 

“I don’t get it–” Potter started, he began to pull back but Lily grabbed hold of him tighter.

“I’m just—I’m not ready…for that,” she stammered out. “---but I don’t want this to stop either. I’m sorry, I know that’s so fucked….”

James blinked at her for a second, but then started to pepper soft kisses on her cheekbones and jaw. Lily tilted her head upwards and looked to be savoring the sensation. 

“Yeah, ok. Whatever you want,” James said, “Like I told you. I’m mad about you Lily. You know that.”

Lily smiled and James went back to roaming around her neck with his lips, finding a particular sensitive spot behind her ear. 

“Yea—I know,” Lily breathed out. She pulled James away from her neck so they could look at each other again. 

“You're dangerous for me too you know,” she laughed lightly at her own comment, “You have no idea what you do to me—christ that sounds so stupid.”James groaned with content.

“Merlin, Lily. That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.  He closed the gap between their mouths again. 

Severus finally let his legs give out underneath him. He didn’t even care if they heard him collapse to the ground. It all seemed pointless to him now. He thought about the future and how it wasn’t even an hour ago that the possibility of Lily and him being together again existed. With him, she could be safe, completely protected by the Dark Lord’s graces. Instead, here she was not only choosing to live as a target, but to do so with him. 

He didn’t dare turn back to look at them again, despite hearing their soft moans and the shifting of hands moving over clothing. It felt like ages before they finally separated again.

“I think it's past our bedtimes.” He could hear the desire in Lily’s voice. His stomach sank lower. 

“Hmm. Seems so,” James sounded completely chuffed.

 “If you promise to be good, you can walk with me back to the common room,” Lily teased.

He could hear their feet start moving and he turned around to witness them walking almost shoulder to shoulder. Potter’s hand snaked its way around her hip and he wiggled his fingers, causing her to give a little shriek and swat at his chest. 

“Evans,” Potter teased, “When am I not good?” He watched as they turned the corner together, leaving Severus in a now dark and silent corridor. He didn’t move to get up, opting to lean back against the statue for a couple more moments. The life Snape wanted had been so possible— what had he done to deserve this outcome. He took out the ruddy photo he had in his pocket again and dragged a finger over Lily’s small, childlike smile. Her eyes gleamed up from the page. It couldn’t be over—not yet, he told himself. Not until her eyes were gone from his life, would it be over. 

[cricketnationrise]

time: 1.31am (the time my dog woke me up today by jumping in my bed😅), location: Kensington palace , character: David and Alex please 🙏🏾 🐶, song lyric for vibes, discard if you don't like: "feels so good to be alive" 🌅 (from Beyonce's Be Alive Oscar performance 🎾💚🌻)

my ao3 is this same name but with underscores (the_marathon_continues )

no pressure if you can't get to this I'm sure you're inundated with requests!

*mushu voice* I LIVE hello i am in a two week lull of normal work hours so i have both time and brain space after a freaking month to write more and your prompt was the next at bat! i hadn't seen the oscars performance so that was cool to look up and see. i hope you love this little moment with my favorite boy. and alex.

read the rest of the ficlets here

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

1:31am, kensington

Henry’s stuck at some royal event, one that Alex wasn’t invited to attend, and Alex is fucking bored. He can’t sit still enough to watch something, there’s no chores to do since he’s stuck in Kensington waiting for Henry to come back, and he doesn’t have any schoolwork for once. And yes, it’s after one in the morning, but he certainly isn’t sleeping. It’s only when David pads into the monstrosity that is Henry’s gilded bedroom, that Alex’s brain lights up with glee.

A quick rummage through Henry’s closet (oh, the irony) and a text conference with Bea, Nora, and June, and Alex has a plan. David’s a good sport through all of the outfits Alex puts him in, placidly allowing the infringement upon his dignity and obligingly staying still for the camera. 

He starts with a black bow tie collar Henry had lying around and fashions two shirt cuffs out of an old white shirt of Henry’s to go around David’s front legs. A strategically placed pistol emoji on the most debonair picture of David and the tribute to Arthur as James Bond is sent off to the group chat. That one’s just for the family's eyes.

Alex finds giant sparkly sunglasses shaped like flowers (left behind by Pez, surely) and slaps a super bright filter on top. He posts it to Instagram with the caption Elton Paws. He spends way too long making a black vest, white shirt, and black belt for David, wanting to get as close to the iconic look as possible. David’s unimpressed face looks out from the photo with the caption I’ve got a bad feeling about this. A cardigan from one of Bea’s old dolls and David’s own booties for cold days sitting next to him complete the Mr. Rogers costume. Please won’t you be my neighbor? With a fit of giggles, he removes the booties from the shot, adds the tiny crown Henry pretends he didn’t buy for his dog and takes another photo. He adds a photo of Henry in a similar cardigan as the second photo. The third photo on the post is just the meme from The Office where Pam says ‘they’re the same picture.’” Alex spends another ten minutes color washing a normal picture of David with bright purple, solely so he can make a Courage the Cowardly Dog joke.

He doesn’t bother checking any of the comments, fuck if people think he’s being ridiculous. Alex built this life; he’s found his person (and his dog). He managed to create something beautiful for himself all on his own, despite being thrust into the public eye. He and Henry came out the other side of the leak with their relationship and futures intact and shining brighter than ever. They’ve spent long enough putting on their best faces in public—it’s about time people remembered that he’s twenty-fucking-three. If he can’t dress his dog up in ridiculous costumes and post them on the internet like everyone else on the fucking planet, then what is the world coming to?

And alex is so fucking proud of his life, both separate and intertwined with Henry’s. They can weather any storm and forget anyone who says their relationship isn’t what love looks like. Someday, they won’t have to split their lives over two continents. Someday, it’ll be a given, an if/then statement: If Henry, then Alex. They’ve been fighting for something resembling normalcy since way before the emails leaked. They’ve dealt with depression and being outed, with a long-awaited ADHD diagnosis and the pressures of their families and countries. They’ve hustled and worked and bent over backwards for the public for years. If the general population has a problem with them occasionally being ridiculous about their pet? Fuck ‘em.

It feels amazing to be goofy, to act like the young adult he is, to not run every single tidbit by a publicist or handler, to do something dumb with his dog because he misses his boyfriend. So Alex will keep on dressing David up in whatever strikes his fancy and posting the results. If nothing else, Henry will love the results.

an instagram post: 

[pic of david in a ridiculous costume, alex beaming with tongue out and peace signs while he holds david up for a selfie]  when dad is away, we will play.

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 Just Fucking Write - Day 62 🔞

Prompt: Exhibitionism (sex in a photobooth & pix to prove it)

Tags: Unprotected sex, public sex, mentioned multiple partners on Younghoon’s side, biting

A/N: Thank you Changmin’s IG post for the inspo for this one

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Younghoon asked as Changmin put his phone back in his pocket.

“Why? Are you gonna chicken out?” Changmin replied.

“No, I just, I’ve never done anything like this before,” Younghoon replied.

“Most people don’t fuck in photobooths and get the pics to prove it,” Changmin replied. “Are you gonna sit on my cock or not?”

Changmin sat on the bench, pulled his pants and underwear down just enough to release his cock, and looked up at Younghoon expectantly. He was already hard. Younghoon shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d been talking about doing something like this for months. Younghoon bit his lip.

“I’m waiting,” Changmin began to idly fist his cock.

“Okay,” Younghoon agreed.

“Okay what?” Changmin was gonna force him to say it.

“Okay I’ll ride your dick in a photobooth and let you take pictures,” Younghoon replied.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Changmin grinned. He produced a small bottle of lube from his other pocket. Younghoon stripped from the waist down and straddled Changmin.

“I’ll tell you when to put the money in,” he handed Younghoon the money for 2 photo strips. Younghoon nodded. Changmin reached behind Younghoon and began rubbing his opening with two lubed fingers.

“I love how you’re always so loose for me. I’ll be sure to thank Juyeon later. Or maybe I’ll just show him the pictures,” Changmin grinned. “I’m sure he’d love to have some of his own of you speared on his cock.”

Before Younghoon could reply, Changmin slid two long fingers into him. He began teasing Younghoon’s prostate, working him to full hardness in the process.

“That’s a good boy,” Changmin praised, adding a third finger. Younghoon whined and tugged at Changmin’s shirt.

“Right, don’t want come all over it like last time,” he said. Younghoon raised his hips up, signaling he was prepped enough.

“How hard did Juyeon fuck you this morning?” Changmin asked as he pulled his fingers out and Younghoon sat on his cock.

“Not your problem,” Younghoon replied, taking Changmin’s shirt off and kissing him. He began riding Changmin hard to the point where the booth started shaking.

“Might want to slow down so we don’t actually get caught,” Changmin told him. Younghoon slowed down, spreading his legs wider to get all of Changmin’s cock in him. Changmin rested his hands on Younghoon’s hips and let the older man use him for a few minutes.

“Put the money in,” Changmin said when he felt the first flutter in his lower belly. Grudgingly, Younghoon leaned back and put the money in the machine. They heard a countdown and then the first flash. The camera kept flashing as Younghoon kept chasing his release and Changmin tried to hold his off. Younghoon came right before the very last flash. He painted Changmin’s torso white with come, biting the other man’s shoulder to stay quiet.

“My turn,” Changmin grabbed Younghoon’s ass and with surprising strength held him up enough to fuck into him. He dug his fingers in hard when he came, but resisted biting Younghoon.

“Well?” Younghoon asked.

“I’ll give you a full review when I see the pictures,” Changmin replied. They got redressed, Younghoon not thrilled at the idea of come leaking out of him the rest of the time they were out, and exited the photobooth. Changmin took the photo strips and examined them, then passed them to Younghoon.

There were several shots where it was obvious Changmin’s cock was in Younghoon’s ass. The last shot captured the look on Changmin’s face when Younghoon bit him.

“I think this one is my favorite,” Younghoon grinned.

“I thought so,” Changmin made a show of rubbing his shoulder.

“You liked it,” Younghoon said.

“Maybe,” Changmin gave Younghoon the photo strips to put in his bag.

“Definitely,” Younghoon poked his side. Once he saw them, Juyeon would definitely want his own set. Definitely.

[mygloviesme]

cool about it. || myg

no. 7: ask you easy questions

predebut/debut!yoongi x female idol

summary: kanako is an established idol with a growing career and a secret relationship with a producer from her label, haneul. when she’s asked to work with yoongi and rm to create a track for her, she gains unexpected feelings for a certain upcoming rapper. with her increasing fame, her controlling boyfriend, a set of six boys who seem to have grown an attachment to her, and a new boy who’d give her the world, how will she figure out a way to balance it all?

(definitely inspired by boygenius)

word count: 2.7k

genre: ANGST, friends(?) to lovers, slow burn, lots of pining, slight fluff

chapter warnings: toxic relationship (not w/myg), mentions of mental health, mentions of grooming&abuse (not w/myg)

inspo song: TV by billie eilish

"dont know where you are right now, did you see me on TV?"

MARCH 3RD, 2012, 6:16PM

It’s been a long fifteen days in this building. Paparazzi and reporters have practically staked outside, harassing whoever comes in and out. Which is why all the non-staff members have stayed inside. Which means me and the boys. When they’ve gone to the studio or to dance rehearsal, I usually keep to myself in the confined spaces of my dorm room.

Sometimes I walk to the break room to grab a snack or two since now it’s fully stocked with less mouths to feed. Or I roam the barren hallways, or stare at the ceiling and think. But as we know, me and pure silence are not a match made in heaven. 

Sometimes I feel myself inching towards my phone, wanting to just look. To turn it on and see exactly what’s happening. What I don’t already know from TV. Surprisingly enough, people love to watch pictures of me in a restaurant, crying. Or the CCTV footage of me yelling at Haneul, crying. Or the leaked photos of us making out in the hallway of this very building. I like to avoid that hallway for obvious reasons, feeling like I can still imagine myself with his hands in my hair and tongue all over my neck. It used to make me feel butterflies, thinking of how he would touch me. But now I get nauseous, thinking of the girls much younger than me he did the same things with. 

It’s not jealousy, it’s disgust. Like I can feel him all over me. It makes my skin crawl and I’ve spent precious hours in the shower scrubbing and scrubbing whatever he rubbed off on me. But no matter how hard I try, how hard I try not to think of it, he’s still there. Looking down at me, ready to suck down my innocence. His hand is still on my wrist, grabbing me so I can be wrapped around his finger once again. It makes me wince and gag. 

So, as soon as I hear the loud footsteps of the seven boys down the hallway, I swing my door open every time, including this one. 

“Kanako!” Some yell in unison. My body is draped on the door frame, trying to look like I hadn’t been waiting for them to be done for the last few hours. All I care about is that they’re here now. My lips curl into a bright smile, “Wanna hang out?” 

Jungkook shoves through the group, his arm swinging over my shoulder. “Do you even have to ask anymore?” He says and turns to me. I reply with a playful eye roll and we pile into what is now Yoongi, Namjoon, Seokjin, and Hoseok’s dorm. They decided to split it by age, with much opposition from Taehyung. 

Seokjin is quick to open the fridge and Hoseok follows. Jin passes cans of soda to him, both of them carrying armfuls. They proceed to hand them out to each of us, thank yous being heard from around the room. Hoseok gives me the last soda, this one being Sprite instead of the Pepsi like the rest of them got. 

“Your favorite.” He grins and I give him a quick caress on the shoulder as a thank you. 

We all scatter around the bunk beds, opening our soda’s and drinking quietly. 

“You know Kanako,” Jimin says mid-sip, eyeing me. “You can hang in our dorms even if we’re gone.”

Namjoon coughs, “Their dorm. Not ours.” He says, and before I think he’s being serious he cracks a smile, causing laughter to bounce around the room. While we sit for a few seconds more, my eyes travel to Yoongi. He seems to be in his own world, unaware I’m currently ogling him. We haven’t spoken about the almost-to-be kiss, or actually, not spoken at all. He’s been rather reserved when it comes to me, and I can’t help but think it’s my fault. 

I should’ve never tried to kiss him. It just made everything that much more complicated, and complicated is something I definitely don't need right now. Neither does he, I’m sure of it. Maybe he just wants to act like it never happened, to preserve our friendship. Right?

At least that’s what I tell myself to sleep soundly at night. 

I do, sometimes, think of a reality where he’s just nervous. He needs me to initiate something. But I can’t, I refuse. It hasn’t been very long since I’ve been apart from Haneul and he still manages to come up in my mind more often than I’d like. I’ve been doing therapy sessions on call instead of going to Hana’s office. Just to, you know, avoid the bombarding of the press.

Things have been going well though, we’ve had some breakthroughs. Well, one. That one being that Haneul groomed me, which was a word I had never heard of before. It definitely hit me like a bag of bricks, leaving me idle for days on end. It’s not a conclusion I would’ve ever come to myself, not even if you locked me in my room for, well, fifteen days straight. I was so convinced that I had a part in that relationship, like that’s what it was. A relationship. He had me convinced we were a couple, never calling it what it really was. Hana explained to me the power dynamics that were at play, which took a few more other explanations from her so I could understand. I wasn’t completely oblivious to the oddness of our age gap, but I never considered that it was wrong.

That he was the one who was in the wrong. 

Even now it still takes me a moment to believe it, but Hana said healing isn’t linear. Progress isn’t linear. That’s definitely comforted me the most. 

She’s also brought up the subject of abuse, which I don’t think I’m quite ready to delve into yet. That one realization alone was enough to knock me on my ass for a good minute. 

“Let’s order food!” Jungkook blurts out, cracking the quietness that once was. 

“Good idea, I’ll order.” I say and reach into my back pocket for my wallet, Seokjin giving it a gentle slap so it rests on my legs. “Uh!” I exclaim in shock. 

“No, no. No, no, no, no. This one's on me.” He gives me a cheeky smirk. Jungkook clenches his teeth in irritation, “Nice one, hyung.” He says. 

“Oh, you’ll get ‘em next time.” I assure Jungkook with a quick pat on his thigh. He slouches and loops his arm around his stomach, using the other to go back to scrolling on his phone. 

MARCH 3RD, 2012, 7:03PM

The food has finally arrived, thanks to a staff member here. I thank her with a quick bow and grab the bags filled with boxes of jajangmyeon, closing the door behind me. I turn around with one bag in each hand, lifting them up in excitement. 

“Success!” I exclaim. They all clap with enthusiasm, surrounding the small dining table. I pass around the boxes and glaze over their hungry faces, making me laugh in response. As I hand the second-to-last box to Jungkook, he grabs it from my hand quickly, “Okay, let’s not eat my hand now.” I say before settling down with my own box in between Jungkook and Hoseok. 

They all dig in hungrily, just the noise of styrofoam and slurping being heard. Before I start eating I look to the table, basking in the image of them enjoying their food happily. It’s an odd sight but it’s one that makes me feel like I’m at home. They’re starting to feel like family with how much we’re around each other, and I don’t mind it. Well, I do. Just a tad. It’s scary to grow a connection with someone else again, but with seven? Is it a disaster waiting to happen?

Before I start to assemble my food, Hoseok leans over and does it for me. With a mouth full of food he pours the black bean sauce over my noodles, taking my chopsticks and stirring it up for me. Once he’s done with that, he takes the container of pickled radish and places it in a circle around my jajangmyeon perfectly. I give him a loving peck on the cheek, “Thank you very much.”

“Hoseok coming to the rescue, everyone.” Jungkook says, his voice muffled from his chewing. 

“I’ll let you do it next time, Kookie.” I smile as I take a bite of my food. 

“We have pet names now, do we?” Namjoon chuckles. 

I nod eagerly, “Oh, it’s a must, Joonie. Jiminie, Kookie, Hobi, Jinnie, Tae, and…” I pause, looking over to an unamused Yoongi who keeps his eyes down at his food. The rest of the boys wait at the edge of their seats, “Well, what’s Yoongi’s?” Jimin asks, blushing. 

“I’m not sure he’d like one.” I say with more attitude than I initially wanted. It surprised me too, I know. 

Ooh’s are heard from around the table, Namjoon giving Yoongi a pat on the back. And finally, the young rapper looks in my direction. He sets down his chopsticks and sighs in defeat, 

“What is it?” He mutters. 

My face grows with an excited smile, “Kitty.” 

All the boys throw themselves in a fit of laughter, their faces growing more red as they do. I see Jungkook holding his stomach, wiping the tears away from his face. I look back to Yoongi who has stayed still, his expression still the same. 

“Kitty? Kanako…How did you even..” Namjoon chokes out, slapping his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing when he notices Yoongi. The group takes a second to gather themselves, taking deep breaths to calm themselves down. Hoseok makes a ‘tsk’ sound with his mouth and picks at his pickled radish, still baffled. 

“Because he looks like a cat.” I say, and that makes everyone at the table turn in Yoongi’s direction to analyze his features. I see it..Jungkook whispers. The boys seem to agree and I shrug, crunching on a piece of radish. “Does that mean you’ll call me kitty from now on?” Yoongi says rather quietly. 

I nod, “I think so, yeah.” And he shakes his in response. 

The group returns to popcorning their conversations while I sit in merriment. Taehyung takes a poke at Jungkook, Jungkook snaps to Taehyung, Namjoon throws his hands up to obtain the piece. It’s like clockwork. Jimin makes a slight innuendo which turns Namjoon’s expression humorless, Seokjin scolds him for speaking like that in front of a woman and says he’ll never get a wife with that mouth, you know, the usual stuff. Hoseok usually chimes in once in a while with a quick giggle or a gasp. He’s the best at keeping a conversation interesting. He’s like the soundtracks they play in the back of American TV shows. 

But Yoongi is always quiet. Even when they try to poke fun, or ask him something, he’s short and only lets out breath-like chuckles. He’s usually much more expressive during the day, so I assume he’s just winding down at times like these. 

I think they like that I sit back and enjoy their bickering, sometimes Jungkook even looks over to me for confirmation. But I stay quiet, unwilling to get involved in their endless bickering. 

As boxes empty and soda cans drain, we pick up our mess and clean up. Luckily, it’s all trash and no dishes, sparing me the work. I’ve become their dishwasher ever since that night, but it makes me feel good that they rely on me. I feel needed. We don't need to move the table to create space anymore since the rooms, like Bang-PD said, are indeed more spacious than their old one. Instead we sit between the large carpeted area between their bunk beds and Seokjin takes it upon himself to grab the remote for the tv. 

Yes, the TV. We have those now, which is nice to pass the time as I mentioned earlier. He turns it on and it broadcasts the news immediately, the same story being told once again. 

The female reporter is talking about me and Haneul, “Is she a young seductress who took advantage of the famous producer to climb her way to the top? Or-” Jin fumbles with the remote before switching the channel quickly, an uncomfortable stillness thickening the space between us all. I purse my lips and look down to my thighs, all their eyes unmoving from me. 

“Does everyone want to rent Titanic?” Jin says and clears his throat, cutting through the quietude. “Good idea…” I say quietly. He clicks on the movie and Taehyung gets up to turn off the lights, settling back into the top bunk as he’s done. No one really speaks or says a word after that, our eyes stuck on the screen with a slight awkwardness swirling through the air. The movie plays and plays and plays and although Titanic is a good movie, in my opinion, It’s also over three hours long. And no one, I’m aware, is really that interested in it.  

Yoongi sits inches away from me, one fist resting under his chin for support and the other draped over his leg. I lean onto the dresser behind me and place my hand over my stomach, my other hand close to Yoongi’s leg. I look back up to the TV again, the scene where Rose meets Jack for the first time. She’s holding onto the railing of the ship, ready to jump. 

It makes me think back to when I ran into Yoongi that night. It felt like I had jumped, leaped into another world. That night felt so prolonged yet final. When Haneul had ultimately met me at my wits end, stripping me of everything I had. I felt naked in that cold, winter air in front of him. Who knew someone could lack that much care for another? It must make him something no shorter than evil. 

I hear Yoongi adjust his body, his hand that was once on his chin now resting next to mine. We’re now pinky to pinky. Such a cliche. I inch my hand closer. If I’m the one that has to make the first move, I’ll reluctantly do so. 

I stop moving and sit there, waiting to see if he’d catch on to what I was doing. I act like I’m focused intently on the movie before trying to sneakily switch my gaze to his. 

But he’s already looking at me. 

I lurch my hand away subtly in shock, my cheeks flushing scarlet and leaning back into the dresser. I lean my head down just a tad, as if trying to hide my face from his. I’m embarrassed, very embarrassed indeed. What if he thinks I’m being ridiculous? 

He cautiously moves closer to me before leaning to my ear, “Were you trying to hold my hand?” He whispers oh, so quietly. 

I clench my jaw. “No. Maybe. Were you trying to hold my hand?” I whisper back. 

He chuckles faintly, “Only if you were.” He says and travels his head back to where he was. 

He places his hand back down on the carpet and so do I, gaining the courage to fold my pinky over his. And in a sudden movement he flips my hand with his, interlocking them together. I should feel butterflies, and I do, but the delicate moment is over before I know it. I get anxiety as his thumb rubs my hand affectionately, feeling like I shouldn’t be doing this.

His touch is too much, it’s too…caring? This isn’t something I deserve. Something I can’t control or contain, it’s dangerous. It’s risky. My company is in shambles because of me and I’m already giving in to another person? Maybe I am a seductress, a femme-fatale. One who devours every man she meets, ready to corrupt and ruin them. 

I’m overthinking again, I’m getting ahead of myself. 

Breathe, Kanako, Breathe. This is okay. This is slow. This is nice. This is exactly what you deserve.

 Breathe. 

And so that’s exactly what I do, and it feels like another breakthrough. One that may seem too soon, but it’s just enough to fill my cup before it spills over the brim. It brings me with a heavy heart, but the feeling of his tightening hold lifts it right back up. 

“You okay?” He whispers once again, and I take a deep breath to release the tension that was beginning to feel like a tight chokehold. 

I rest my head on his shoulder softly, “Now I am.” 

click here to read more of this story!

[bohemian-nights]

one of the reasons I KNOW that michaela stuff isn’t true, is because why would they cast a south african actress and fly her out to be on screen for like ten seconds a season until francesca’s season which we won’t see for a few years like does that make sense to people? and why would they introduce such an important character now when we just met john and francesca’s season isn’t anytime soon….they’ll want to keep up the mystery and anticipation. i feel like people aren’t really thinking with all of this. anyways we don’t have too long until all is revealed and i can’t wait for people to realizing that this fandom was thriving on delusion/hallucinations for the past month because this is something else lol.

All of this 🙌🏽 I mean the fact that she’s South African and lives in South Africa has always been one of the reasons why I have never believed this BS.

If she was just a Brit yeah okay, but to continuously fly Masali out from halfway across the world for 5-10 minutes of screen time for two whole seasons before season 6 comes about? Never mind that there isn’t a guarantee that season 6 will even happen, that’s a lot. They would’ve just gotten some local girl to do it and called it a day.

The fact that they also keep claiming Sophie hasn’t been cast, but this “Michaela” character has yet Benedict is supposed to be up next?

Look guys I’m really not trying to be delusional and even if I wanted to think the worst this crap just doenst make sense logistically or logically.

There is no way Sophie hasn’t been cast. There is no way they guarded the actress who plays Sophie with their life, but didn't hide the actress who plays this alleged gender-bent who would have the fandom up in arms. There is no way they would hide one lead and didn't try to hide the other one. They hide non-leads(John) for Christ’s sake.

There is no way they took the time to hide Joh before part 1, but not “Michaela.”

They had Victor and Hannah unfollow each other to throw people off even though people saw him with her on set.

Thanks to the morons that populate this fandom the “Michaela rumor” has been going on for a year now and started picking up major steam before part 1 aired. So Shondaland for sure knows about it and has known about it. The fact that they never made Masali, Hannah, and Victor unfollow each other to try and throw people off makes 0 sense.

No one has been able to produce a still or a set photo with Masali in it. People have blatantly lied and have been caught lying. Hell, even the Michaela name was fandom created by some rando on Reddit.

The fact that nobody can produce or say anything other than vague answers or makeup crap that gets disproven past episode 6 (which a lot of people have access to) says a lot.

And as I said in the previous asks(or rather implied) I’ve narrowed down to who is leaking shit to three people. One of those three has already deactivated their account here. The other one on here can probably skate by since their “source” is someone coming into their inbox and claiming they are a Netflix employee, and the one on Twitter(who I think is actually feeding everybody this crap) I’m pretty sure is a mental alyssum escapee.

I’ll eat crow if I’m wrong. And by eating crow I mean I’ll never watch this racist dogpile of shit again, but it’s just not adding up. I truly believe this Michaela crap was started by a band of racists who freaked out when they saw Masali was going to play Sophie and people believe it cause they don’t want Masali to be Sophie either. Which is fucking sick.

With as wacky as she is I truly do not think Shonda would green-light this crap nor do I think Netflix/the book publishers would risk losing their money and promo trying to gender-bend a character to appease a few racist nut jobs.

Please know I don’t like Shonda. I’ve had beef with that lady since s4 of Scandal which aired almost ten years ago.

I only defend her because I think these stans are lazy racist fucks who want her to be their mammy and create content for them while dogpiling on her people. Shonda has her issues, but I don’t think she’s that insane to cast a Black woman in a role meant for a man. And if she has you'll never see me defending that woman ever again, but for right now 🤷🏽‍♀️

Edit: I was wrong, but everyone pushing this is still a racist piece of shit 🤷🏽‍♀️

[honney-pies]

Ma Cherie ❤︎

Chapter iv: Bona fide

Pairing: Inuokku/ F! Reader

Summary: Sometimes it’s hard to bare the genuine, real parts of your soul, but the more you do, the easier it can be.

Content Warning: major character death, slight gore, ya girl really tried to be descriptive during a fight scene, use of blades, stabbing, ripping limbs off, etc., gay people, (y/n) having sad thoughts about life and people who have died, no-no words, spoilers for jjk season two, and jjk0, lmk if I’ve missed anything and I’ll add it!

Length: 5.5k

A/n: so this chapter mainly evolves around kanae and the tail end of jjk 0. I know it’s a lot shorter than the previous chapter, but their wasn’t a lot left to write lol. I wanted to end it on a happier note cause i need some fluff after the leaks cause wtf gege???? How could you do this to me???? And finally seeing Gojo’s episode in Shibuya (I won’t go into detail cause it only came out two days ago, but you know the one) has devastated me to my core and has left me in shambles. Also it has come to my attention that I’ve been spelling Yuta’s name wrong this whole time so I’m sorry. 😭Anyway, please enjoy!

Ma Cherie Master list

Bona Fide -genuine, real, to be in good faith

─── ⋆⋅ December 2017 ⋅⋆ ── 

When (Y/n) wakes up, she’s in a tangled mess of her lover, and future lover’s, limbs. She opened her eyes to see Satoru standing above her, bandages off as he smiles down at her. 

“C’mon, let’s get breakfast. Megumi-chan is waiting for us at the front,” he whispers. She reaches up and grasps his hand, but the boys’ arms are wrapped tightly around her. She huffs, but she still smiles.

“Gimme a sec, Toru-nii.” He looks down at the girl, a knowing smile on his lips before quietly leaving the room. (Y/n) continues to struggle as she tries to make her way out of the mess of bodies. However, neither boy lets her leave, their arms pulling her closer to their bodies. 

‘Shit, this is really nice.’

 “Toge, Yuta, I need to leave,” she whispers softly. Yuta grumbles before scooting closer to her. (Y/n) feels slightly annoyed at her family for making her leave such a cozy place, but she still knew Satoru wouldn’t have gotten her up if he didn’t need to be near her for his own peace of mind. 

When she finally made her way from her bed, she got to see Yuta and Inumaki tangle themselves together, she snapped a couple photos, some on her first phone where she held the people she cares about the most, on her current phone, and a polaroid. After Suguru left (Y/n) made it a point to take as many pictures as possible, in order to keep as many memories alive as possible.

‘ 12/20/17 - first sleepover together’  (Y/n) smiles softly as she wrote, before getting dressed and slipping out the door. She quickly made her way to the front of the school, spotting her little brother and her dad bickering.

“She doesn’t have two boyfriends, Gojo.”

“She does, Megumi, you need to get over it.” Megumi looks over and spots his older sister and begins walking over to her.

“Do you have two boyfriends, nee-san?” She shakes her head and laughs at Megumi’s victorious ‘ha.’

“No, but we’re slowly getting there.” Megumi whips his head around so fast, (Y/n) nearly got whiplash. 

“What?” She laughs again and reaches up and messes up his hair. He grumbles and swats at her hands. 

“How did you get two boyfriends before I even got one?” She smirks at the boy.

“I’m awesome, have an amazing personality, and I’m hot. Who wouldn’t want me, ‘gumi?” He groans and shoves her away. 

“Where do you want to go for breakfast, Megumi-chan?”  Megumi looks at Satoru and thinks before shrugging his shoulders. The three of them wander around before finding a small place to eat. It has been a couple weeks since they all went out and Megumi talks about the latest documentary he watched before getting up and going to the bathroom. Satoru uses this opportunity to turn to (Y/n).

“I don’t want you in Tokyo.” (Y/n) looks up at him, confused. 

“Chances are Suguru will be in Tokyo, I don’t want you seeing him like that. I’ve already made arrangements for Utahime to watch over you in Kyoto.” (Y/n) watches her dad’s face closely and notices a slight twitch. 

“You’re… you’re gonna kill him, aren’t you?” Satoru looks up at the ceiling, letting out a heavy sigh. He reaches out and grabs her hand, holding it tightly. 

“I don’t have a choice anymore, (Y/n). He’s… he’s hurt too many people, killed too many people. I’ve spent so many years waiting around for him to come back, but you and I both know he won’t. I don’t want you to see that.” (Y/n) frowns at him before kicking his shin to make him look at her.

“I have the right to see him. I have the right to say goodbye. No, I don’t want to see him die, but I at least want to be there to make sure he goes with the people he loves. I’ll go to Kyoto, but I’m going to be there to say bye. No one will take that away from me.” Satoru sighs loudly before nodding his head.

“Fine, but I still don’t think you should.” 

“I know, but I want to.” Megumi comes back to the booth and quickly notices the tense atmosphere. When he goes to question it, (Y/n) shakes her head.

“What do you want for your birthday ‘gumi?” He looks thoughtful for a moment before stating he wants more books. (Y/n) smiles and tells him she’ll make sure to get him some. 

“What do you want nee-san?” She ‘hmm’s before smiling brightly.

“Toru-nii to not give homework!” Satoru looks extremely offended at the very thoughtt.

“I never assign homework in general!” 

“Oh right, uh, well… I guess I don’t really know what I want.” Megumi groans in response. You see, (Y/n) has a lot of things she wants, but she chooses not to say what it is. It’s infuriating and it ends with Satoru closing down a mall and letting her run wild. Some may think that’s an unwise choice financially speaking, but it’s not as bad as when he let her get whatever she wanted from a book store. Now that was a taxing trip. 

Satoru makes sure to get them things on Christmas and on their birthdays and the two get spoiled endlessly, unfortunately some habits are a little tougher to break when it comes to asking for what you want or need. 

While the family began the walk back to school. Megumi was a little more talkative than normal, not that anyone was complaining. It was really nice to hear him be that free when it came to spending time with them, especially since he’s been extra quiet since Tsumiki was not an active member of the family for the time being.

When they were younger, Megumi had a harder time adjusting than Tsumiki. The two girls were close in age and got along rather easily. However, it took years for Megumi to open up and shortly before Tsumiki was cursed did he begin to call (Y/n) his older sister. 

─── ⋆⋅ March 2016 ⋅⋆ ─── 

Tsumiki and (Y/n) were both walking around their middle school to go bother, to check on Megumi. Before they could turn down the second year hall, some boys blocked the hall and began to get in their faces. 

“Wow look at this, some pretty girls came to say hello.”

“Wanna go out with me?” 

“I bet she’s a freak, the quiet ones always are.” The two girls have had to deal with these comments for years, but that didn’t mean they would tolerate it. 

“The fact you think you even have a chance with either of us makes me sick. Move.” The boys still didn’t budge.

“Oh~ I love them feisty! Keeps me interested.” (Y/n) then made her way in front of Tsumiki.

“I’m not asking, move.” One of them scoffed at her, rolling his eyes, “Or what?” (Y/n) went to shove her way past them, and maybe break their micropenis’, with Tsumiki, but before she could, the guy’s face was smashed into the wall with a very angry boy behind him. 

“Do you not have basic manners? When someone says no, or implies no, it means no. Go back to kindergarten if you’ve forgotten. And don’t you ever go near my sisters again, if you do I’ll tear you to shreds.” The three boys ran off, clearly embarrassed, as one of their noses bled. 

“Aw, ‘gumi!” The dark haired boy turned around. 

“What?” (Y/n) and Tsumiki giggled quietly.

“Megumi, you called us your sisters.” The poor boy turned red, becoming uncharacteristically shy. He quickly turned around, making his way back to class to finish his after school necessities. 

“Ya hear that Tsumi? I’ve officially become an older sister!” Tsumiki smiled.

“He’s thought of you as his sister for a while now.” (Y/n) hummed.

“I know, he’s been acting like I am. It just feels different now that he’s actually said it.” The two continued their walk to Megumi’s classroom, Tsumiki listening as (Y/n) told her all the latest gossip. 

─── ⋆⋅ December 2017 ⋅⋆ ─── 

(Y/n) and Satoru had just dropped Megumi off at home and are now making their way back to the school when (Y/n) grabs Satoru’s hand with her own, swinging it gently.

“Hey dad?” Satoru’s hand twitches slightly by his side as he turns his head towards her, letting out a small hum in acknowledgment.

“You know that I’ve pretty much always thought of you as my dad right? ‘Gumi does too.” Satoru smiles softly at her, giving her hand a small squeeze.

“I know. I’ve always thought of you as my kid… Megumi-chan and Tsumiki-chan too, but you’ll always be my first.” (Y/n) smiles widely before pulling Satoru into a hug. He chuckles and wraps his arms around her.

“Thank you for taking me in when you didn’t need to. When you get gross and old I’ll do the same for you.” Satoru gently shoves her away, gasping loudly. 

“How dare you? I’m never getting gross, I’ll be this hot forever!” The two laugh as they walk around in search of a good sweet shop, plans of returning long forgotten with the amazing, stunning, magnificent idea of eating junk food and gossiping. Although neither one really had anything to talk about, so they decided to make fun of the people walking by them when they pass a sunglasses shop. 

“No! You can’t come with me, that defeats the point of me getting anything! Wait, don't go yet, gimme your card first.” 

While (Y/n) walks around the shop she finds a nice pair of blackout sunglasses, rectangle purple frames she thinks would look good on Maki. As she made her way to the cashier, she notices an… interesting pair of sunglasses that she just knew she had to get.

‘If I don’t get them, the world just might end.’ (Y/n) grins so brightly as she walks out, Satoru just grabs the bags and doesn't try to peek at what was inside them. 

‘I’m such a great father.’ 

The two finally made the trek back to the school, deciding not to teleport in order to spend as much time together even though (Y/n) regretted that decision immensely about ten minutes into the walk. 

“Toru-nii, carry me,” she said, drawing out the ‘e’. 

“Nope.” (Y/n) groans loudly before pulling out her phone.

“Who’re you texting?” She positions her screen away from Satoru.

“No one.” Satoru then felt a buzz in his pocket.

‘Incoming call from Muscle Man’

“Ah, hel-”

“Satoru! Stop abusing the child! God Damn!” That was all that was said before Yaga promptly hung up. When Satoru looks over, (Y/n)’s trying her best to hold in her laughter before Satoru picks her up and begins to carry her. 

“I feel like I’m five again.” 

“You sure as hell don’t feel like it.” (Y/n) smacks him in the head. When (Y/n) and Satoru were younger, Satoru made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t use infinity when he was around her. Of course there are exceptions to this, like if they’re on a mission, or something like that. About fifteen minutes later (Y/n) got down and continues walking, although she nearly fell over when Satoru tried to jump on her back. 

“Satoru, no!”

“Satoru, yes!” 

(Y/n), for a short period of time at least, felt as if she was a normal teenager. That’s something Satoru has always worked hard to do for all his kids, students and family alike. 

“It’s unforgivable to steal the youth away from kids.” 

(Y/n) has always appreciated that about him. When they finally made it back, Nanami was waiting for them at the front of the school. The poor man had been sent to make sure Satoru attends more meetings. (Y/n) had been “trained” to start and prolong conversions for as long as possible if this were to happen.

“Hi, Nanamin! How are you today?” Nanami, who had only recently come back into (Y/n)’s life after years of trying to distance himself, has always had a sweet spot for the young girl. 

“I’m fine, how are you (Y/n)-kun?” (Y/n) then pointed at Satoru, who had somehow managed to carry an obscene amount of bags the whole way home.

“I went shopping and we found this really cute place for lunch. Are there more meetings you guys need to go to?” Nanami shook his head.

“Only Gojo-san. I’m done for the day.” Satoru groans before handing the bags to Nanami, telling him not to break anything. Satoru ruffles (Y/n)’s hair and drags his feet to the campus. 

“I hear you might be getting another boyfriend soon, the Okkotsu boy.” He watches as her cheeks turn a light shade of pink, letting him know that this was indeed the case. (Y/n) quickly turned on her heel and began speed walking to her dorm room. Nanami sighed and started to walk. He, the tall fucker he is, only had to speed up ever so slightly to keep up with her. 

“(Y/n), how are you doing?” Nanami once again watches in the corner of her eyes as she deflates. (Y/n) looks up at the sky. Seeing (Y/n) act like this made him remember how much, how long, Satoru’s raised her. The two are incredibly similar when it comes to their mannerisms, attitude, and ideology, but none of these similarities make them any less their own person.

“Do… Do you think that things would be for the better if ‘bara didn’t die? I mean I know they would, but just how different? Would you be happy? Would Toru-nii and Sugu-nii be happy? Would I be happy? Don’t get me wrong, I am, but it’s different. Seeing him again, after so many years hurt. I can only imagine what it was like for others, for Toru.” Nanami knew where the girl was coming from. He had seen how Suguru broke when Haibara died. He had seen the way he broke himself. 

Haibara was Nanami’s first love, and he thinks he’ll be his last as well. He remembered the feeling of his heart breaking, the feeling of his limp body, becoming a lifeless one in his arms. After his death, Nanami refused to go on missions, finished his education, and left the shaman world. He remembers the solemn look on (Y/n)’s face, even at the age of eight she understood why the recent graduate needed to leave. The two didn’t keep in touch all that well, Nanami only picking her up from school on the rare occasion Satoru couldn’t. Not too long ago Nanami had joined the shaman world again, and (Y/n) had welcomed him with open arms just as she had when she found out of Haibara’s death. 

Nanami can only imagine how many people she’s offered her comfort to after the death of a loved one, and he feels guilty for making her go through it continuously even though he’s not the direct cause. 

When the two finally reach her room, they hear soft voices on the other side.

“Do you know when she’ll be back?” 

“I know, I know, but I still feel like she might need or want some hugs or something!” Nanami, again, watches (Y/n) smile softly. Before she could open the door, Nanami quietly set down the bags and wrapped his arms around the girl. He may not see her as a daughter, or a sister, but he still cares quite deeply for (Y/n). 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers softly. She digs her hands into his blazer and lets out a shaky breath. 

“I’m sorry, too.” The two stay like that for a minute before separating. Nanami picks up the bags and (Y/n) opens the door to see the two boys wrapped up beneath her sheets, cuddling. She smiles brightly before flopping herself on the bed, stretching out. Nanami sets down the bags in the corner of her room.

“Thanks, Nanamin!” Nanami nods his head, gives the boys a once over, and closes the door behind him. He pulls out his phone, sending Satouru a text letting him know she’s safe in her room. 

(Y/n) feels a slight nudge on her hip and she looks up to see Inumaki casting a glance at Yuta. The poor boy’s face took on a bright shade of pink. (Y/n) smiles before crawling up to the top of her bed, settling down behind him. 

“Aw, Yuta! Are you embarrassed?” The boy vehemently shakes his head before looking at her.

“Oh, are you shy?” He nods his head slowly. (Y/n) snuggles a little closer and wraps one arm around Yuta, playing with Inumaki’s fingers. 

“That was Nanami. He used to go to school here, I guess he was also my babysitter.” Yuta lets out a soft ‘oh’. 

“Are you both not shy,” he prods gently. Inumaki shakes his head, before resting it on Yuta’s shoulder. 

“No, we’re not. You could say the two of us are used to people constantly barging in. Toru-nii and ‘gumi still do it all the time. It’s super annoying when we’re watching a movie or something.” Yuta nods his head, resting it gently atop Inumaki’s. 

The three spent the rest of the night like that, cuddling and enjoying one another’s company until the sun came up and they could no longer ignore the impending events that would forever change the world as they knew it. 

—————————-

December 24, 2017 - the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons - the death of Geto Suguru

(Y/n) wakes that day with no one beside her, leaving her bed feeling empty and cold. She spent the night agonizing over every little thing, preparing herself for the loss of shaman that would be bound to come later in the day. 

When it came time to go to Kyoto, (Y/n) said her goodbye’s to everyone, not knowing if she would see them when morning came. Satoru accompanied her all the way to Kyoto, not wanting her to be lonely. The two spend the car ride in relative silence, not knowing what to say to make the other feel better. 

Ijichi comes to a halt after some time, signaling that they have arrived. Satoru got out of the car first, opening the door for (Y/n). Stepping out, she could see most of the Kyoto school waiting on the other side, slightly unnerving her, but she ignored it. As she surveys the crowd, (Y/n) sees plenty of familiar faces, all somber, looking at the both of them with pity. Very few people in the shaman world didn’t know of the tragic story of their small family. Utahime was the first person who stepped forward, greeting the girl. The rest begin to follow shortly. 

After the teachers had a small discussion to the side, far enough out of earshot, Satoru decides it’s time to take his leave. (Y/n) gives him a small hug before he goes.

“You’ll come get me right?” 

“I promised, didn’t I? Be safe.”

“You too.” Noritoshi rests a small, light touch on her shoulder as she watches as his car becomes nothing more than a speck on the horizon. (Y/n) sighs softly before smiles brightly, a fake one that doesn’t reach her eyes, not by a long shot, and begins to make her way to the school. 

“All right, let's get this shit show over with.”

————————————-

The students were in charge of clearing out the curses as much as possible and containing them to their designated area, which resulted in them being in the semi front lines. Foolish, I know, but unfortunately Gege is a sadist. 

Noritoshi has never seen (Y/n) fight a curse before, and he’s frankly a little frightened by his little sister. She has a malice dripping grin on her face, several cuts bleeding profusely, and a rusty kitchen knife defying the laws of physics. 

He watches as she accidentally drops the knife while a curse runs towards her, mumbling a small ‘fuck,’ before twisting her body so her right side’s facing it. He watches in fascination and mild disgust when she moves efficiently, shoving her right foot near its feet, jamming her right side into its chest area, grabbing its limb, and rips the limb from its body. (Y/n) then quickly maneuvers her body to shove the limb down its mouth with so much force, the back of the head is left with a gaping hole. 

“Now that’s a pretty extreme take on fisting, if I do say so myself.” Noritoshi doesn’t know how she can continue to make jokes at a time like this, much less where the energy comes from, but if he has to guess he’d say it was from Satoru. (Y/n) rushes over to her knife and picks it up, but not before another hoard of curses charge towards her. 

She makes quick work of them, jumping up and landing on a curse. (Y/n) uses that moment of confusion to dig her knife into one’s face and drag it out the side of its face. She uses the curse as a stepping stone to make her way onto the back of the next one. (Y/n) takes her left hand to jam the knife in the right side of its neck, yanking it through the left. The next one gets a little too close for comfort, right when Noritoshi was going to shoot an arrow, he sees the knife leave her hand and quickly shoot itself through the chest of the curse. The knife was covered in blood, (Y/n)’s and curses alike. It continues in its conquest to protect its wielder while (Y/n) grabs the head of another and forces it clean off of the rest of its body. However, she doesn’t drop the head, she swings her arm to backhand the curse coming up from behind. The curse doesn’t go flying, but it does stagger a couple steps back, far enough away that (Y/n) grabs hold of her knife, ramming it in its legs. She drives the blade through the curse’s limbs. Her face has a little splatter of its blood. (Y/n) reaches up and wipes it away with her thumb. 

“Gross.”

He watches her closely, not quite able to shake the dread of something potentially happening to the girl. He watches as she moves precisely and lodges the blade into the creature's eye, killing it, before throwing the knife, which scares the daylights out of him when it whizzes right past his head, and into a curse getting too close to Nishimiya's broom. She makes a slight pulling motion with her hand, causing the weapon to return to her. 

He watches as she throws herself in front of Mai, effectively blocking an attack. He watches as she practically flies from curse to curse, annihilating everything in her way. Again, it terrifies him to see a usually collected and care free girl attack so gracefully and primal all at once. 

(Y/n) feels something grabbing at her leg and sees it’s a curse. Before she could even take the time to angle herself in a harmful manner, Miwa slices through the limb. (Y/n) smiles at the girl, voicing a breathless ‘thanks,’ before continuing to move. Noritoshi sighs softly and makes his way to his next target. 

Some time later when the battle is almost over, he sees a trail of carnage, (Y/n) at the front, leading the destruction. He knows she can hold her own, hell he’s seen it with his own eyes and (Y/n) is in the process of evaluation to become a grade one shaman after all, but he’s still surprised at how powerful she is when she doesn’t put herself unnecessarily in harm's way. Though he thinks that maybe that makes her even more powerful at times.

“You’re a force to be reckoned with, aren’t you?” (Y/n) looks over her shoulder, giving him a tired smile. 

“Red Velvet is having a Christmas special tonight, I’m not going to miss it.” Noritoshi groans as Todo makes a sound of approval. 

“Takada-chan is too.” (Y/n) nods her head.

“See, even the jackass gets it!” This time, Noritoshi isn’t the only one that groans.

————— 

When the battle finally reaches its conclusion, everyone is extremely tired and sits on a curb, trying to get any ounce of rest possible before they’re undoubtedly drawn into another fight. A small blue speck begins to grow in front of them, and they all quickly rise to their feet, prepared to fight once again. However, none other than Satoru Gojo appears. His bandages are around his neck. Satoru does a quick once over of all the students before looking at (Y/n).

“C’mon, it’s time to say our goodbyes.” She bows slightly to the others, thanking them for their help, before joining her dad’s side, disappearing from view.

“Okay… is it just me, or does she kind of seem inhuman when she fights, like an animal? Also why are his eyes so bright?” The children let out a small laugh at Mai’s comment and begin the walk to the rest of the shaman. 

——————-

There’s a weird sense of deja vu when (Y/n) steps back into the school grounds. She sees a figure, fatally injured, making their way to them. Even with all the blood, (Y/n) can tell it’s her brother. He looks up at the two as he slides down the wall, not surprised by their arrival. 

“You’re late, Satoru.”  Without glancing at the man, (Y/n) knows he has a desolate expression, a pained smile gracing Sugurus face.

“To think you both would be the ones here at my end. Is my family safe?” (Y/n)’s heart hurts hearing those words, but her heart aches at the sight of her brother grasping an arm that is no longer there. 

“Every last one of them managed to escape. The ones in Kyoto were under your orders, too, right?” Suguru turns his head away from the two, resting his head against the cool bricks.

“Yeah,” his voice laced with pain, “Unlike you I’m a kind man.” (Y/n) huffs out a small laugh, tears forming on her waterline. Satoru stays motionless, no emotions on his face. 

“You sent those two assuming that I’d defeat them, didn’t you? To set Okkotsu off.” (Y/n) sends a questioning glance at Satoru, who wouldn’t take his eyes off of his lover. Even after all this time apart, (Y/n) knew of very few words to describe the two other than that. 

“I trusted you,” those simple words broke something in her. She’s seen first hand the love the two held, hold, for one another, “ Trusted that a man as principled as you wouldn’t kill off young shamans without a reason.” Another smile creeps its way up Suguru’s lips.

“Trust, huh? I didn’t think I still had any of that left.” He says it more to himself than anything. Suguru releases his shoulder for a second to throw a card at Satoru, but quickly grabs it once again. (Y/n) quickly glances at the card and sees Yuta’s name. 

“Was the elementary school your doing, too?” (Y/n) looks at Suguru, a smile still present. 

“Yeah.” 

“I can’t believe you,” Satoru whispers, “ Do you have any last words?” (Y/n)’s breath hitches and she quickly makes her way over to Suguru, sitting on his right side, placing a land on top of his. He looks at the hand, noticing a few familiar beads. 

“I see you’re wearing my old bracelet, it suits you.” (Y/n)’s lower lip wobbles, three words dancing on her tongue, but fear of what might happen prevents her from saying them. Suguru moves his head to look at Satoru. 

“No matter what anyone says, I hate those monkeys,” his grip tightening on his arm, or lack thereof, “But I never held any hatred for those in Jujutsu High. I just couldn’t wear a heartfelt smile in this world.”  Satoru takes a few steps forward, squatting down in front of them.

“Suguru,” the said man rolls his head to look at his other half, no energy in his movements anymore, “we’ll meet again.” Suguru’s eyes widen before he lets out a soft laugh, his soft laugh. 

“At least hit me with some curses at my end.” (Y/n)’s tears freely stream down her face, but she still keeps her mouth closed.  She whispers a barely audible, ‘I love you, Sugu-nii’ and gives him a hug, which he returns, before standing up and taking her place at Satoru’s side. She closes her eyes, not wanting to see his death, and hears the sound of flesh tearing. No heartbeat coming from his body. She makes a fist in Satoru’s jacket, scared that if she were to open her eyes, he would not be there. Satoru places a hand on her head, bringing his little girl into a hug. (Y/n) couldn’t breathe without sobs racking her body. She feels his hand on her arms, along a tear in her uniform where she had gotten hurt, warmth spreading across her arm. He guides her away from Suguru’s corpse. 

Rubble surrounding a body, slowly decaying, blood gushing everywhere, staining everything it touches, a last desperate plea of I love you,’ life fading from a brother, but this time, they’re not going to come back like before. 

Or will he?

When (Y/n) finally has the strength to open her eyes, Satoru still keeps an arm around her shoulders. No words are exchanged between the two, but none are needed. She rubs her eyes until they’re raw. The dad and daughter make their way to the others, seeing Rika turn into her human form. An adorable little girl, really. 

Satoru removes his arm from (Y/n) and claps, (Y/n), not knowing what was going on, just claps along with him. 

“Congratulations! You managed to break the curse.” The four first years look confused.

“Who are you?” (Y/n) chuckles softly, Satoru deadpans.

“Your good looking teacher, Gojo Satoru. I thought the theory Yuta came up with sounded Interesting, so I requested an investigation into their families. The investigation of Rita’s was finished quite a long time ago, but Yuta’s was full of holes at best. So then it came to light. You’re the descendant of Sugawara Michizane! That makes us super, super, super distant relatives!” (Y/n) gasps, amazed, and laughs at Satoru’s pose.

“Woah, no way!” Yuta looks confused. 

“Uh, who?” Satoru is now dancing.

“One of Japan’s three great apparitions!” Satoru is still dancing. “He’s a super big shot shaman.” (Y/n) slightly jabs her elbow into Satoru’s ribs. 

“You were right, Yuta. Rika didn’t place a curse on you. You placed a curse on Rika. Now the one who placed the curse has canceled the bond. So long as the one who was cursed doesn’t seek any penalty, it’s fully broken now. Of course, that much is obvious after seeing her in that form.” Yuta falls to the ground, tears flowing onto the cracked cement beneath him. (Y/n), while wanting to comfort the boy, stays in place, knowing how overwhelming it can be to have people surround you when you need space to breathe. 

“It was all my fault, wasn’t it? I turned you into that form, I hurt all those people, and I nearly caused everyone to die when Geto came after me!” (Y/n) feels Satoru tense at her side, she does too. Even after all this time it still catches her off guard when people mention her brother and speak of him like that. Even if they’re mostly correct. Yuta’s hands dig themselves into his hair.

“It’s all… It’s all my…” (Y/n) watches as Rika makes her way in front of Yuta. She hugs him tightly. “Yuta, thank you… for giving me more time and letting me stay by your side. These past six years, I’ve been happier than I ever was while alive.” Yuta continues to cry, only looking up when Rika lets go and stands up. She backs away from him.

“Bye-bye. Take care. And don’t come over here too soon, okay?” Everyone watches as she fades away, officially beginning to rest.

“Woah… I didn’t know death could be that sparkly or…bubbly,” (Y/n) whispers. Satoru snorts quietly. 

——————

Everyone’s standing at the school entrance, waiting for Yuta to show up. 

“Did you really call Rika’s death bubbly?” (Y/n) sighs exasperatedly.

“She literally turned into bubbles, like that one witch from the wizard of oz! How else do I describe it? There was glitter in the air.” Inumaki chuckles, holding (Y/n)’s hand. The two girls continue their small argument, even though everyone knows Maki laughed when hearing the comment. 

In the distance, they could see Yuta and Satoru walking over to them.

“Come on, Yuta! How long are you gonna keep us waiting? Let’s go!” Yuta makes his way over, standing shoulder to shoulder with (Y/n).

————

A new chapter of their lives would begin that day. (Y/n) would struggle with the loss of her brother and all the emotions that come with it. Yuta would struggle with accepting the love he deserves, but the three of them would learn together. Inumaki, (Y/n), and Yuta would slowly start dating and live happily ever after. Well… at least until the entirety of the Shibuya arc gets animated because your darling author doesn’t want to spoil anyone before then, seeing as she deeply regrets reading the manga after seeing season one of the show. 

——————————————

tag list:

@staygoldsquatchling02

@illyrian-moonswarrior

Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter, ‘purple Lilac blooms,’ will be a 5+1 fic. It should be posted next Saturday 9/30. As always, there is an oc version on my blog and this can be found on ao3. See you later, honney bears!

-honney

[moodyvalentinestories]

Direction – Thirty-One | Hunt x HWU MC (Danielle)

Summary: Danielle and Hunt continue their conversation.

Words: 700+

Notes: He he he, I’m back! Hello hello hello! Not dead! Still here, still writing. ‘Sup? P.S. Working on the next part already, so hopefully you won’t have to wait nine months until the story continues. Oopsie.

❥ Previous Chapter: Thirty ❥ Moodyvalentine’s Masterlist

There was a knock on the door, and Danielle immediately assumed it was Chris, who was checking in on them to see whether they were both still alive. When he opened the door, however, Chris had a rather grim expression on his face. “We’ve got a problem. And by we, I mean you guys.”

Just then, Hunt’s phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and Danielle could catch a glimpse of his screen just long enough to see the caller ID – Priya Singh. Uh-oh. That could not be good news.

Hunt told her to stay quiet and picked up. Danielle couldn’t hear exactly what was said, but she was pretty sure she could make out the words disgusting and bastard.

Priya hadn’t called his personal number in several years, and the fact that she was calling now could only mean one thing: something horrible had happened, and Thomas was certain he knew what. Very reluctantly, he picked up the phone, and was immediately greeted by a slew of insults.

“Thomas, you disgusting bastard. Have you lost your bloody mind? You can’t be that stupid, you—”

“Priya,” he interrupted her, not willing to subject himself to this much longer. “Could you perhaps tell me why you are insulting me this time?”

As if he didn’t already know. It must have leaked. Chris coming in, telling them they had a problem, and now this? The photos that he was sure must have been taken of their kiss earlier that day were out there now. He knew they were.

And, still, when Priya confirmed just that, he was shocked. “You have to ask? You’re fucking a student, Thomas.”

“Former student, first of all,” Thomas said, then quickly added, “And I’m not fucking anyone.”

“Oh, sure you aren’t. How long has this been going on? Centaurus Lost? Earlier, even? The photo from Sundance? She’s a child, Thomas!”

Danielle must have heard that last sentence, which wasn’t surprising since Priya had practically shouted it, and chimed in. “I’m twenty-six, thank you very much. Most definitely not a child.” Thomas glared at her, which had the desired effect of her shutting her mouth. She was not helping the situation.

“She’s with you right now?! Are you-- oh, God, I hope you’re wearing clothes. Please tell me you’re not--”

This time, it wasn’t Danielle who said something, but Chris, who very unhelpfully said, “Nope, I’m here, too. Nothing shady going on.”

Thomas sighed and put the phone on speaker. If everyone was going to join the conversation, either way, he might as well.

“Oh, great, the other boyfriend’s here, too,” Priya groaned.

“Hey!” Danielle exclaimed. “Neither of them is my boyfriend, okay? Now, can someone please tell us what exactly we’re dealing with here?”

“Does nobody here have Google alerts for their name set up? Check TMZ, or any other gossip site for that matter,” Priya said exasperatedly. “Thomas, I’ve called a board meeting to see what we’re going to do about this. Expect an invitation to an official hearing soon.”

Thomas gasped. He knew she was far from a friend these days, but he would not have expected her to be so quick to judge. “Priya, nothing happened when she was a student. This is none of your—”

“I’ll be in touch,” she interrupted him, then promptly hung up.

Thomas buried his head in his hands and let out a long sigh. His life, his career, everything was over. And it was all because he couldn’t keep his feelings in check. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He knew, logically, it wasn’t Danielle’s fault. He knew he shouldn’t be mad at her – and he wasn’t, he was mad at everything right now – but despite all the talking, and the mutual understanding that they would handle this together, the reality of it was a different beast entirely.

“Thomas?” she ventured, lightly touching his arm. He flinched, and she immediately pulled her hand away.

He took a deep breath, then told her, as calmly as he could, “I’m sorry, I need-- I need some time. Please, I--”

Danielle looked quite unhappy with that answer, but she nodded. “I understand. It’s okay, I’ll… I’ll be just across the hall in case you need to find me.”

Tags (let me know if you wish to be removed from this list because it’s also 9 months old lol):

@trappedinfanfiction​​ @oneemofungirl​ @alleksa16​ @hopelessromantic1352​​ @silversparrow1112​  @alj4890​  @lilyoffandoms​

[logoleptic-since-06]

It's Two-Faced, It's Too Late

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader Content: Fem!Reader, College AU, Athlete!Toji Fushiguro, Hacker!Reader, Stalking, Crack, Profanity, Suggestive, Not Proofread

MDNI

<- Prev Part 2 Next ->

Toji checks his phone to see the time is exactly 7 PM, so here he is standing in front of your dorm room’s entrance just as you asked him to. He rings the bell and waits. A few seconds pass and the door opens by itself, revealing a dark room only lit by purple LED lights.

“Toji Fushiguro,” he hears a voice call. His eyes follow the sound to find you sitting in front of your computer setup, your back facing him.

“Y/N?” he asks as he steps in hesitantly. Once he does, the door closes and locks behind him automatically.

What have you made your room into?

You kick the chair next to yours before saying, “Sit.” And for the first time in his life, Toji feels as though he is the one being intimidated. He sits on the chair and finally sees your face when he feels his heart do something it has never done before. 

It skips a beat.

Toji clears his throat. “Hi, I’m Toji.”

You look like you’re suppressing a mocking smile. “I’m aware.”

“Right, so–”

“Give me your phone.”

Right on business, huh? Just the way he prefers anyways. Then why does he feel a pang of disappointment? Ignoring the confusion bubbling in his head, he unlocks his phone and gives it to you.

“Has this stalker ever called you?”

“No, they just send me texts from different numbers.”

“When did it start?” you ask as you begin to connect his phone to your PC.

“About two weeks ago.”

“And how frequently do you get these texts?”

“At first, I used to get one every day, but after a week of that had passed, I’ve been getting multiple texts a day.”

“Show me the texts.”

He hesitates.

“What?”

“Well, the texts are just them telling me where I currently am and sending me screenshots of the tape.”

“I genuinely don’t care about seeing anything explicit, if you have the courage to film it, you can show it to me. I’m helping.”

He opens each text one by one and shows them to you; and in the last one, you see that Toji had finally asked what they demanded to which they talked about him having to resign from the basketball team.

“Is it okay if I transfer data from your phone to my PC so I can work on this?”

“Do anything, it doesn’t matter.”

“Okay then, just a second,” you say as you open a window on your computer that is completely unknown to Toji. He unintentionally stares at you in awe as you work on your craft like an expert. As he watches as you type in what he assumes are codes, he can’t help but feel impressed by your skills.

“So how come I’ve never seen you around campus before?” He breaks the silence.

Your eyes don’t divert from your screen when you answer. “Uhh, I attend most of my classes online, and I don’t really have that many friends that I hang out with.”

“Why do you attend your classes online if you’re already on campus?”

“Well, first of all, I have a job so time management can be a hassle. And most of my work is online anyways, I have everything on this PC that I can’t carry to my classes.”

“Right.”

You soon disconnect the cable from his phone and hand it back to him. “I will do a thorough check up on the data and reach out to you later, okay?”

“Sure, thanks, doll.”

“Fushiguro, I have access to your entire photo library along with your browser history. If you call me that one more time, I won’t just go through them but also leak every single one of your secrets.”

“You have my what? I thought by data you meant my phone bill history or some shit.”

“I had to take everything just in case.”

“Just in case of what, exactly?”

“Who knows?”

Wow, he is terrified of you. “So like, are you gonna go through my shit now?”

“I’ll go through whatever I need to go through in order to investigate. Nothing more, nothing less. Now leave.”

“But you–”

“Leave.”

“Fine, damn,” he snaps before stealing one last glance at your face and turning back.

Note: The writing feels very bland and that's definitely not because of my busy schedule (it totally is). Part 3 will be out tomorrow hopefully.

Tags: @linaaeatsfamilies @aseqan @corvid007 @sevensdigitalheaven @minkoq

[lizzygrantarchives]

Interview Magazine, February 14, 2023

FRIDAY 12:30 PM JAN. 13, 2023 LA

LANA DEL REY: How’s it going, sweet girl?

BILLIE EILISH: Lana, dude. Thank you for thinking of me. I am absolutely stoked out of my fucking mind.

[Laughs]

You were my lock screen on the first phone I ever got.

Oh my god.

I knew for months before I got my first iPhone that it was going to be that fucking photo of you with the bee on your lip.

You know what’s funny? That bee picture was for Interview Germany.

No way. I remember showing everybody. I grew up homeschooled, but we still had…

I’m so fucking jealous of that.

It was pretty tight, but we still had talent shows even though we didn’t have a school. I was all up in the talent show singing your stuff.

What?!

Dude, come on.

Do we have any footage? [Laughs]

Oh yeah. I sang “Brooklyn Baby” at the last one I did. I’d film myself covering your songs and pretend that I was gonna blow up on YouTube from them, and then they’d get two views.

And you did.

No I didn’t! [Laughs]

Well, later in life. I remember seeing the first videos of you singing and I said to my managers, “She’s the one.”

Oh my god.

I was like, “This is the girl. She isn’t just talented. You can tell she’s kind.” It didn’t feel like you were aspiring to be anything. It’s crazy to have that magical quality.

Lana, please. We’re here to talk about you, for the love of god. You’re putting out another album [Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd]. How are you feeling? Are you dreading it? Are you excited? Are you nervous?

All of it, as usual. At first, I was super excited because I started it with Mike Hermosa, a DP and cameraman who, as far as I knew, was not a musician. Every Sunday morning, he’d lie around and play these licks on his guitar. One day, I was like, “Do you think I could record that?” Then I’d sit down and start singing. After five months we went into the studio with the guys I know from Echo Park, like Drew Erickson, Benji, and Zach Dawes. Later, I found out they were composing for all these great people like Weyes Blood and Father John Misty and Pink Floyd. Mike was like, “I’ve never been in a studio, so I don’t really feel like I should be a session player.” And I was like, “I know it’s a lot to go into that ISO booth and play what we have been playing for fun, but just try it.” Then Drew would come in and record these beautiful strings. I would talk about wanting a little bit of a spiritual element and we talked about working with Melodye [Perry] and Pattie [Howard] and a couple of women who had toured with Whitney Houston, which was just unfathomable to me that I could be in the same room with them. So that started building one element of the sound for maybe one-fifth of the album.

Amazing.

For those nine months, I was as comfy as could be. Then, things started leaking and I wasn’t sure how. It brought back all this weird tension of, “I know it’s not about money, but what else are they seeing if they can somehow transcribe all the words in the song?” I started getting nervous about peripheral things, and then I told everyone I wanted to wait until August because I wasn’t feeling ready. Then, as things started to leak, I thought, “You know what? It has been done for a year, so I’ll just move ahead with it.”

Wow.

I feel differently on different days. It’s all about the process, not so much the results. Now, I feel good about it. The shoot we just had, that was the biggest production I’ve ever been on and it went so well. I was nervous about the interview, because when me and Mel [Ottenberg, Interview’s editor-in-chief] talked about it, I was like, it could only be only Billie or John Waters. When they said you wanted to do it, I was so happy.

I can’t believe you even thought of me. But dude, this has been done for a year?

September 2022 was the very last song I wrote. It’s a song called “Margaret,” about Jack Antonoff’s fiance [Margaret Qualley]. I was like, “You know what? I want to write a song for him.” It lands right in the middle of the album. It’s funny, this album felt totally effortless. When I did Norman Fucking Rockwell! it was about world-building, whereas this was straight vibing.

I love that. You can hear it in the music that you’re feeling yourself. It feels like you’re comfortable. You sound like you’re surrounded by good people. I would love to hear, specifically with this album, and also in general, how much of your writing is based on reality or fantasy or other people’s experiences. That was one of my biggest inspirations from you—your storytelling abilities and your ability to write from a character’s point of view. I find it a lot easier to write a song if it’s not about my life and if it’s not true. [Laughs]

Which is funny because they sound like they’re straight from you. Last night, I had a conversation with my friend Jack. Something had happened when he was in New York and he was telling me about it, and we were kind of worried. He was like, “I know you get it because you’ve gone through dot-dot-dot. You’re so brave.” I laughed and I was like, “Brave is the last word I would use to describe myself.” So much of my life is sitting at my metaphorical desk alone and writing. But with this album, the majority of it is my innermost thoughts. Some of the songs are super long and wordy like “Kintsugi” and “Fingertips.” I was almost nervous to send the voice notes to Drew Erickson.

Yeah.

I’d go on a seven-minute rant with a repetitive melody. It would be exactly what I was thinking about, mostly family and whether everything was going to pan out alright in the end. I had been reading so many articles that my father and I followed up on over the last ten years about the discovery of telomeres and the extinction of death and how we’ve always been edging towards this point in science where that would be a possibility. With my dad and my brother and sister all living together, that was on my mind. So much of this album is based on the concerns or hopes in my mind. With past stuff, I would talk about the garden of evil and good and bad, but I really was meeting some characters. Like they used to say, “When girls got to Hollywood, they were fresh off the boat.” I didn’t hear that term until later, but I did meet some people that I thought were really cool who were like, “Do you want to go to the Guns N’ Roses concert?” And I would be like, “Yeah.” Then, somehow I would be sitting in a garden and I would see David Lynch behind a red curtain with a cigarette. Some of the people I was hanging out with, I found out later, were unsavory characters, and so they played a part in the writing.

Right.

For instance, when I got to L.A. I was mostly touring. I didn’t know that many people. It took me a long time to figure out where my roots were. I had a lot of random experiences that I wrote about, and at the time, they made me really happy because I was like, “I’m not just watching someone else live their life, I’m living my life,” which was new for me because I’ve always been so shy. I don’t write well when I’m not happy, which is funny because there is a blue tone to the songs. It was like 90 percent reality. I think the storytelling vibe that people get is because I was just in awe of the things that were going on. Coming from a farming town, L.A. was never a possibility. My brother and sister and I always say, every time we drive through a perfectly symmetrical palm tree lane, we feel like we’re on a set. Maybe it was my lens on how heightened everything felt. God, I’m very long-winded. I just recently realized that I talk a lot.

[Laughs] I love it. I feel like I’ve never listened harder in my life. I feel like a student.

That makes me so happy. The one good thing about listening to this class is that I’m a trustworthy teacher. If anyone ever wants to learn how to get through a storm and know that all things pass, I can teach that class. [Laughs]

Yeah, man. You’ve also been doing this for so long.

I was just thinking about that.

I’m really curious, and you can feel free to say fuck off, but you are so romanticized online, specifically different eras of you and your music and your visuals. You were always the coolest of the cool in my world, but I was wondering if having older versions of yourself romanticized later in life might give you this feeling of, “When I was doing that, you guys did not give me that same validation and gratification.”

Yes. I was thinking about this last night actually, if it’s better to be initiated into that club where it’s like, “She’s wonderful,” right away. Once things grew on YouTube, I expected that there was going to be this very niche lane where I knew that I could thrive, but it didn’t really go that way. I quickly shifted right into the middle lane where everyone could see it and could hear the music. As soon as that happened, I knew I was in for it, but I didn’t know to what extent. In the beginning, I was following the mantra: “It’s all about how you feel, not about what other people think.” I had never thought that one day Bruce Springsteen would say something like, “I think she’s one of the most beautiful American songwriters” after Sasha Frere-Jones said, “Change your name, change your face, and try a new career,” and Jon Caramanica was going off about whatever—this was in The New Yorker and New York magazine, and I lived in New York. [Ed. note: The previous quote cannot verifiably be attributed to Sasha Frere-Jones. You can read his 2012 New Yorker piece on Ms. Del Rey here.] All of a sudden, I was walking down the street as I always did, and people would throw elbows at me. I was like, “Oh my god, no way did that actually happen. Someone recognized me and gave me a shove.” Or in San Francisco, I was eating at a bistro and a woman threw a book about feminism at my face. I thought I was completely in for it. I thought that all I could do was just keep touring. So, I toured for nine years and kept my head down. I didn’t think anything could ever get elevated to the point where, for instance, Interview magazine would say, “You’re on the cover.” Even still, it’s like, “Really?”

No way.

When things shift radically in your life you have to almost want to have a radical perspective shift. You can’t force it, but if you stay calm, all of a sudden, it comes. I know that the process I went through is not the process a lot of people went through. Everyone gets their fair share of think pieces, but there were definitely some 60-page articles about me being the face of feminine submission and the pro-domestic whatever. That was quite tough, because at the time, I was just trying to figure things out. Now, you hear a lot of singer-songwriters and rappers talking about how things really are in their lives, and a lot of it is super messy. And everyone’s like, “The storytelling is amazing, and I love that they’re baring it all.” I always felt with me that there was some catch-22 and I wasn’t sure what it was for a long time. Then, I cracked the code and realized they were tapping into the fact that there was something a little weird and different going on with me, but I didn’t really know that. And so it actually was a blessing because I got to figure out what they were tuning into—what they said was so dark—that I didn’t see. I was like, “What are they seeing in this shadow side that I’m not seeing?” That opened a door for me to think about the way everything had gone from when I was little up until now. And so, that was a very shrouded gift.

It’s so fascinating to hear you talk about that. I relate to so much of it. And also, this was all happening to you in such a different time.

The era was definitely different. I remember talking to friends at that time where they were like, “Are you afraid to make one misstep?” I was like, “Yeah, I do feel like one wrong step could ruin everything.” That’s why I was very tentative and didn’t talk too much. Whereas now, people have all these brand deals and things where it doesn’t really matter if something goes wrong, because there’s always the next thing.

But also, they don’t ever let anything go. You literally can’t make a single mistake ever. No matter what you do to redeem yourself, it doesn’t matter. They decide that’s who you are and that you deserve death.

Right. I think that also, people are being a lot more careful with what they say. I remember my first big interview with Rolling Stone for Ultraviolence. He asked me about the song “Sad Girl.” Where it goes: [sings] “I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl, I’m a sad girl.” He said, “At 29, don’t you feel uncomfortable calling yourself a girl?” I was like, “You mean instead of?” And he said, “Well, a woman. I mean, you’re like 30.” I was really caught off guard because I wanted to talk about how I mixed my own album with this guy Robert Orton. Then, I said, “Well, what about that Jennifer Lopez song [‘Girls’] or the Beyoncé song ‘Girls Run the World’? I think she’s older than me.” And he was like, “That’s different. That’s a fun song.” I don’t feel like those kinds of questions get asked anymore. For me, it was trial by fire. It’s definitely a different era now.

I have trouble remembering this when I feel very hated and disliked.

Which is such a crazy concept to me with you, but yes.

Well, you should know that in my eyes, you could do no wrong. But I have this inevitable feeling of, “Oh, everyone hates me.” With the world of TikTok and social media, there is a level where it’s kind of true, because there are these videos. I’m lying in bed last night, and I go on TikTok because I’m falling asleep, and I just want to be mindless for a second, watch some funny videos.

Totally.

I keep scrolling and I’m thinking, “Billie, put your phone away. You’re getting tired.” Then I swipe to the next one and it’s a video with millions of likes and it’s something about how I’m a horrible person. And all these comments are like, “I’m so glad that you guys are seeing through her.” And I’m like, “Damn.”

That is so hard for me to fathom. You know what I think? It’s always the nice ones. [Laughs] I feel you’re almost—I don’t know what the word is, not impermeable, but it’s almost like there’s a shield around you. I think that’s because you have revealed so much that there is nothing to say about you. With me, if people feel like there’s a veneer, there’s so much to reflect off of that. I’ve never read anything crazy about you until, of course, anytime dating comes into the picture, that’s whenever things get crazy for me, but then it goes away. But I always felt like there’s just such a warmth there between you and your family. It just made me feel like you’ve got that shield.

I do. It’s really true. You need to shut up about me because you’re being too serious. [Laughs]

I’m going to stop.

Also, you should know that any time you ever felt like any part of the world was against you, nobody else thought that. Because I find myself thinking everybody hates me when really, that’s such a tiny sliver of reality.

It can definitely limit your beliefs in terms of what the future holds. It’s like, “Is the way people talk about me going to change the way people relate to me every day?” Because every day is still so normal for me. I mean, there are things that are not normal, but I wanted to have the same encounters and be able to observe people in a coffee shop the way anyone would. If your circumstances are negative, of course you have to accept that, but it’s so important to not focus on a negative situation that you don’t really have anything to do with. It’s a ride that you’re on, and you have to just keep on tuning in to what you want.

Right.

Sometimes what I wanted was to move and be in the Midwest, and that clashed with what people thought was right. I had to dig really deep into my gut and be like, “Do you really want to do this? Do you want to make a career change?” Because I love to sing, but it’s been, like, 16 years or something. I felt like I had made this deal with the press, that because I hadn’t given very much information, I was entitled to a certain amount of privacy. But what was interesting is that it had the complete opposite effect. But it was so important for me to maintain this feeling that I could still go rogue, and I could still fucking have my ear to the streets and be at the same clubs as all my friends on the East Side.

Getting back to your music, I want to know about the album artwork. I want to know about where you were and what was going on and how you thought of the title.

Mike Hermosa and I, the first song we wrote was, “Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd.” I was spending a lot of time in Long Beach and I had read that there was a tunnel sealed up under the Jergins [Trust] Building. All of the mosaic ceilings were still perfectly preserved, but no one could get in. I had also been listening to a lot of Harry Nilsson. He has this song called “Don’t Forget Me.” That sentiment plus this man-made tunnel that was sealed up but was so beautiful, I liked the idea of putting them together. I knew right off the bat that that was going to be the title. The artwork is by Neil Krug, who’s done a lot of my covers. My original cover was nude, then I thought about it, and I was like, maybe not right now, because there are some other things I want to do where I feel like that could get in the way. For each shot, we were really specific about the idea and the mood. He took 65 shots in a row and we used every single one of them, because I told him I didn’t want him to just shoot, shoot, shoot, I wanted to take my time and think about what I wanted to express in my face.

They’re so beautiful. I don’t know which one is the cover, but I saw a bunch of the shots.

That’s the other thing. At first, the title was definitely going to be Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd, and then I fucking panicked and I went to Neil’s house and said, “I know this is fucked up, but I’ve changed the title. It’s going to now be called, ‘Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd Pearl Watch Me on Ring a Bell Psycho Lifeguard.’” He was like, “What the fuck?” I was like, “I’m not telling anyone. Just mock it up.” He mocked it up, but we realized that maybe it was a bit much to have six titles in one. Then, he was like, “This is reminding me of a format that I’ve always wanted to play with. What if we just used one title, but then we filled the rest of the page with everyone who’s featured and everyone who engineered it?” He mocked that up on the portrait shot and I was like, “You did it.” That was a really psychotic day because I was like, “Am I willing to literally burn everything down to the ground by having some strange, nonsensical title?” But that’s a really good lesson because even with the nude photo, it was like, I might not have used it, but there’s definitely something there. The idea behind it was, instead of being exposed for things that weren’t true, I wanted to reveal something about myself that I actually thought was beautiful, but in the end, I got nervous about doing that because I was like, “Is this an artistic inspiration that came to me or is this a reaction to something I feel is critical about me?” I never liked to do anything in response to something that’s fear-based or based on what people think about me. I don’t know if that’ll ever come out, but if it did, I would just want to make sure it came out when I thought it was super fun and not because I had to show something to people. That part of the process was a little tumultuous, because I was feeling open, but then I closed down again and wanted to play it safe. But the good thing is that the songs are so wordy that if you listen to them carefully, they’re revealing in the same way the photo would’ve been. I was like, “Okay, I’ll let the songs do the talking for now.”

Yeah, man. You really paved the way for everyone. People have been trying to look and sound like you since you first started. I talk about this with Finneas [Eilish’s brother]. You changed the way the music industry hears and sees music, and you changed the way people sing.

[Laughs] That’s amazing because you do that.

It’s because of you, dude.

The only thing that matters is that I like it and that you and people in your world like it, because for me, it’s about separating the wheat from the shaft. Tapping in with good people and letting that be your North Star. Actually, the text you sent me out of the blue—I don’t even know how you got my number—was on one of the craziest days where I was sitting in front of the Burbank Airport watching the planes take off, which I had never done before. I was sitting on the side of the road because that day I had to make a really important decision. I was feeling really nervous about it, because I’m always the kind of person who doubles back on my important decisions. Then, you literally texted me saying something like, “I love you, and without you, I wouldn’t have been able to do certain things.” I texted my friend Anne, and I was like, “I made the right decision because Billie texted me.” I thought I needed to hear something completely different from someone else, and I got this awesome synchronicity that let me know I was in the right place at the right time.

Wow.

I will also say, in terms of everyone who’s paved the way for me, the way Cat Power delivered her songs in the ’90s and in the early 2000s, and even now—we’ve toured together and I’ve told her so many times, “I should be opening for you.” I was a high soprano, which you can kind of tell in the way that I talk, but her low tones, I would practice them the way she sang that song where she’s like, [sings] “Bay-be-doll.” I was like, “Oh my gosh, I could sing like that.” I realized I had a low register too. And when I learned that she played a big concert in New York with her back turned to the audience, that was when I realized I might have a chance. Then, I watched this documentary when I was 20 called The Devil and Daniel Johnston with my boyfriend at the time, Artie Levine, and seeing that Daniel was super different and he had a bit of a cult following, I realized there might be a chance here. I definitely had my muses, but it was so much later on in life because I didn’t move to New York until I was 18, and that was when I first heard anything other than Eminem, country, and NPR. All of a sudden, I got a fucking crash course in music.

Everything you’re saying is blowing my mind out of my skull. You will never understand how much of an impact that you have had on me in my life.

I definitely won’t, I can promise you that. But you know what? If it did anything for you, how amazing is that? Because you actually like what you do.

God, dude. Okay, well, I have to go, but I just want to say that I am always going to ride and die for you. I’m so excited about this album. I’m telling you right now, you’re the coolest of the cool.

That is hilarious.

Well, you need to shut the fuck up and listen.

Here’s the thing. It’s good to know that the coolest of the cool can still be so messy because it’s like—

It doesn’t matter.

There’s no competition. Your life is your art. I just feel lucky that you said yes, because I couldn’t see it any other way.

Thank you for thinking of me at all.

It’ll be such a blessing to look back on when this prodigious girl—woman—reminded me of the fact that there are so many ways to look at things, and that it’s all a matter of perspective. The only thing that matters is that the people that you’re obsessed with, like the way I am with you, love your stuff too. It’s such a beautiful place to start creating from. Thank you for that.

Thank you. Oh my god.

Our little flattery interview, but honestly, that’s how it is. It was always you.

Originally published on interviewmagazine.com with the headline Lana Del Rey and Billie Eilish Fall in Love, and in the March 2023 issue of Interview with the headline Lana Del Rey by Billie Eilish.

[sugolara]

I dream of you like I'm afraid tomorrow will be the last I see you

ft. K.B x S.T x I.M x fem! reader

Synopsis: After a deadly virus leaks all over the world, every country is forced to close down it's borders and airports to prevent anyone from coming in and out. Though, it's to late for some people. The dead has rose and is looking for revenge. Cw: gore, quirkless! au, apocalypse! au, zombie! au, weapons, death, angst, lots and lots of blood, cannibalism, suicidal thoughts, slow burn

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The squelching echoed in her ear. She pulled out her knife from a rotter before getting rid of the one next to it. She stood inside a house in the same neighborhood where she first saw Hanta. When she pulled back, she stared at the couple on the bed, their back melting into the sheets. Just beside of the bed where she peacefully ended their life was a photo frame that she picked up. It was dusty, but she used her thumb to wipe it off with a swipe, before staring at the photo.

Such a happy old couple. Their smile caused their winkles to show, but even then they still looked beautiful. Their eyes, filled with light as they stared into the camera, had her swallow her saliva as she blinked. She placed the frame back down, looking back at the dead lovers. Despite their bones showing from its fingers, their ring still snuggly sat, bits of dried blood staining the gold. Cautiously, with her left hand she picked up the rotter's left hand, placing it on his clothed stomach.

Out of respect, she picked up the sheets and placed it over their bodies, letting out an internal sigh as she exited the room, gently closing the door. The wood underneath her groaned as she walked room to room. She was hoping to score something good, but when she checked the bathroom cabinet, above the sink all she found were painkillers. She didn’t know what they were used for as the names were long and rather difficult to pronounce. They had to be in decent condition since they were kept hidden behind the mirror, but incase they weren’t she threw it in her bag to confirm with Yawara.

She exited the home and walked down the street with hands in her pockets. Hearing a soft moan coming from below her, she looked down to see a rotter trap underneath a car. Instead of getting rid of it, she continued at her pace, letting the moan grow distant. It was a bit chilly out, but she didn’t mind. The radio on her hip turned on and she had forgotten Momo gave it to her as she slightly jumped.

It was static before she could make out Izuku’s soft voice. She had forgotten he was supposed to return today “...F/n, are you there?”

She grabbed it from her waistband, her finger on the small button that allowed her to talk, “Yeah, I’m here.”

She stopped walking, sniffling from the cold as she waited by a trash filled dumpster for him to speak. “Where are you? You need to come back.”

“Not right now.” She scratched her eyebrow, “I’m busy.”

It was quiet for a moment and she thought he had given up, but as she put the radio back on her hip the static once returned. “..Please don’t tell me you're leaving.”

Her eye twitched and she wondered where he even got that idea, “What are you on about?”

It was quiet for a short moment, until a cut off sigh was heard, his tone being laced in worried, “...I feel like you’re trying to leave me. I know I’ve been gone, so I don’t know what you're thinking about. I might be pushing..the boundaries, but I don’t want you to shut me out and I can’t help but worry about you when you haven’t been acting like yourself lately.

“Seeing you in such a state that I’ve never seen worries me. We’ve all lost someone important, and…losing you is something I don’t need. Not now, not tomorrow, not any day. So please, just come home.”

With his last comment, she swallowed a gulp and lifted the radio to her lips. She hesitated, a bead of sweat rolling off her as she finally spoke, “...Okay, I’m coming.”

“Thank you, F/n.” She nodded even though he couldn’t see her. His voice filled her heart with sorrow. She took a glance at the dumpster beside her. Nothing but crumpled up papers, empty water bottle, ripped up products and lastly a final touch of ash covering parts of it. The street she stood on seemed to be burned down. Someone either messed up on trying to get rid of the rotter's that lingered or possibly a maniac thought it’d be a good idea to let their inner arsonists out.

She rolled her shoulders as they ached and continued down the street where she would soon see the walls of Sorston. From where she stood she could faintly see the rusty walls, but only barely as the trees helped to cover it up. Despite seeing a few rotter's slowly coming at her, she glanced at them while continuing her way with her pistol at her side. She thought back to when Izuku had mentioned that the dead seemed to be slow and docile when they haven’t eaten in days.

To her that meant a good sign as no human was near, meaning there was no threat. But a part of her was itching to let her anger out on someone who could fight back. A thrill of adrenaline coursing through her.

Seeing a man on the watchtower, he signaled those below where they opened the gate to where only she could fit. She closed it behind her, giving them a nod to acknowledge them and soon pursue her way to her shared home where Izuku would be. She had been out since morning, idling around the neighborhood so she wasn't extremely dirty, as only her shoes and the end of her jeans were splattered in blood and covered in grime.

She stepped up on the porch, ignoring the floorboards creaking and let out a low sigh before she entered the home. It would have been quiet if it weren’t for Izuku mumbling as his pencil grazed the notebook on his lap, having a small smile appear on her lips. Before she made her way to him she dropped her bag and took her jacket as well as shoes off. He still hadn’t noticed she was there, even when she sat down next to him as he appeared to be fixated on writing.

It reminded her of when they traveled together. If she wasn’t talking to him, he would be stuck in his notebook and she didn’t blame him as she was a boring person. She hasn’t seen him like this for so long considering their minds had been too busy staying alive. She looked around the living room, a feeling of content yet shy embracing her, “I’m home, Izuku.”

His pencil stopped moving as he looked her way and without haste, he dropped everything to hug her, ignoring the way she jolted when he snaked his arms around her neck and let out a sigh of relief. His breath hit her earlobe and his soft unruly locks blocked her left. She could feel him slightly shaking so doing what she knew, she placed her arms around his waist, letting her clothed shirt dampen as he shed a few tears. Getting over death will never be easy, but there is always a start. Despite her own eyes burning, she stared ahead and focused on patting his back to distract her own mind.

When he dug his face deeper into her neck, her shoulders relaxed. He had her putty in his embrace and damn did everything feel so right as she steadily closed her eyes when she felt his hand clutch her jacket. She wanted to hold him forever, so when he shifted her embrace was tighter, long forgotten that he had quieted down, his beautiful forest eyes staring ahead of him.

He swore he could feel her heart beating against his chest and he shivered when he felt her lips move against his neck. His face would have been on fire if it weren’t for the fact he had been caught off guard as his eyes widened with pupils dilated.

“..I love you.”

When she realized what she had said, her eyes grew and she slowly pulled away, but Izuku’s hands kept her in place as he stared at her in disbelief, “...What did you say?”

“I-” Suddenly she felt timid. Why did she even say that? She didn’t actually love him, right? Her heart running, having her eyes on him, and feeling like she was always on air when he was around meant nothing. She just liked having him around her because he brought out the good in people. That had to be it, right? She felt like that towards Katsuki and Shoto, but–

“F/n..?” He noticed her tense figure and carefully he squeezed her hands. As much as he wanted to jump in joy, he needed her to say it again so he knew where he stood, where they both stood. It’s not everyday where he actually gets the girl he wants and not to mention having them make the first move. This was something—out of all the girls who were interested—that would ever happen to him.

She let out an awkward airy chuckle as her brows furrowed. It’s not like they haven’t spent months together, both growing closer to each other. She’d admit that she did like it when her stomach would do flips when he was around, though she blamed it that she only liked him as a friend. She wanted to say that she only said it in the heat of the moment and she didn’t know how else to help him. Letting it out did feel good, but considering he was the first person she ever liked—romantic wise—made her feel insufferable.

Maybe, deep down, he was just a placeholder.

“Please…say something.” Well it was now or never, right?

Ripping a page out of her fathers book, she took in a silent deep breath, grasping his hand. Her brows narrowed, ingrown the fact her heart was going at an incredible speed when she looked into his eyes, “From the moment I met you, I didn’t think I could have the capacity of harboring these feelings that I have when you’re with me. But I do, and I let myself drown in it because it feels so good. It feels good when you’re with me and I want to cherish it forever, hold it in my heart until it feels me up and I can’t breathe. I can only think about you. To have myself lost in your gaze is something I need to do everyday; it makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

She leaned in closer, her thumbs reaching to wipe Izuku’s glossy eyes, “I have never felt like this towards anybody, so if you could…please let me have your heart.”

He leaned into her hands, his lips opening to let out his soft voice, “You already do…”

With that, she closed the gap, letting her lips fall on his. She soon closed her eyes and with her hands holding the sides of his face he followed her movements, his own hands holding onto her wrists, wanting her to slow down the rush kiss and she obliged. She half opened her eyes to see Izuku’s reddened face. He looked at peace even with his eyes tightly closed, but she felt happy. Incredibly happy. Despite all she's lost, she still had Izuku.

Izuku; the one who it will always be.

[End of season 7]

[trevuorzegras]

━╋ SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE

⏜ˑ 🐇 actress au part one 𓋜 ⋆ ࣪

౨ৎ . . all works for this series will be under the #his greatest mistake au tag. for any random thoughts, or asks it will be under the #cassidy morgan au tag!

fem actress!oc x quinn hughes

mentions of fem actress!oc x jacob elordi

faceclaim: beabadoobee

series masterlist can be found, here!

cas_morgan

cas_morgan: life as of lately 🎀

liked by avery.walker, trevorzegras, and others

user1: am i the only one who noticed that jacob no longer likes her posts, AND they unfollowed each other?

↳ user2: well after THAT post i wouldn’t wanna be with his cheating ass either 🤷‍♀️

↳ user3: wait who’s jacob?

↳ user4: jacob elordi. her boyfriend user3

trevorzegras: i miss you superstar

↳ yourusername: i miss you more trev 🫶🏼

↳ trevorzegras: lemme fly you out to a game soon?? cas_morgan

↳ cas_morgan: i’ll think about it trevorzegras

user5: i hope you’re alright cas ):

↳ user6: why wouldn’t she be okay??

↳ user7: a gossip page posted leaked pictures of jacob and some mystery girl. my guess is he’s been cheating for awhile cause cas and jacob haven’t interacted, nor followed each other in almost a week user6

avery.walker: need to get you out to a race soon!

↳ cas_morgan: tell me a time & place and i’ll be there av!!

user8: avery and cas’s friendship is so dear to me you guys don’t get it 😭😭

user9: you guys need to get out these comments talking about jacob 🙅‍♀️

liked by cas_morgan

lhughes_06: mom says you need to visit soon

↳ cas_morgan: awe i miss mama hughes 🥹

dominicfike: how's my favorite girl been?

↳ cas_morgan: i’ve been good d! i miss you we need a reunion real soon 🫶🏼

user10: collab with sturniolo.triplets when?

liked by cas_morgan, sturniolo.triplets, and others

user11: beautiful girl omggg

zendaya: pretty girl

↳ cas_morgan: says the absolute goddess herself

user12: you never deserved jacob whore

↳ user13: saying this as if he wasn’t caught cheating bffr 😭

thelatest

thelastest: Recent photos of Jacob Elordi seen with a mystery girl last week. When question about him, and ex co star Cassidy Morgan he says “Me, and Cassidy have been over. I didn’t cheat. She cheated on me with her so called bestfriend, Thomas? Some wannabe hockey player.” So far nothing has been confirmed.

Comment your thoughts!

tagged: cas_morgan, jacobelordi

liked by jacobelordi, gossipdaily, and others

user14: YIKES

user15: so SHE’S the cheater?

↳ user16: if you actually think cassidy is a cheater, you’re mental. a day before the pictures of jacob and the mystery girl were released, jacob & cassidy were literally seen ON A DATE. i’m not a fan of cassidy, in fact i’m a huge jacob supporter, but if you believe jacob you’re actually stupid 🤷‍♀️

user17: funny how he finds a way to blame others

cas_morgan: oh sure let’s point the cheating finger at me when he’s the one with a record of cheating!

↳ user18: exactly.. bros KNOWN for cheating on gorgeous women. like come on now

cas_morgan: trevorzegras i think you’re supposed to be thomas??

↳ trevorzegras: the laugh i just let out FUCK

user19: her and trevor are so unbothered 😭

user20: knew she was a whore

user21: slut!

↳ _quinnhughes: funny how you can sit behind an anonymous account calling someone a slut when she’s the one who got cheated on, fucking weirdo

↳ user22: YOU TELL EM QUINN _quinnhughes

user23: these uneducated children in the comments coming at cas is actually insane 🙅‍♀️

dominicfike: blaming cas when bros got a history of cheating. you think you know a man smh 🤦‍♂️

liked by zendaya, sydney_sweeney, and others

user24: the way their co stars unfollowed jacob?? i think they know smth we don’t, just saying

user25: at least if cas WAS with a hockey player they wouldn’t treat her as shitty as jacob did 🙅‍♀️

user26: i don’t think jacob was expecting these comments when bro liked this post 😬

↳ user27: would lowkey deactivate if i was him

user28: notice everyone who is on cassidy’s side is hot, can’t be a coincidence just saying

↳ cas_morgan: okay this made me laugh i won’t even lie to you

user29: cas is so unbothered by the jacob stans & i fucking love it

↳ user30: as she should

anddddd it has begun! make sure to check out my masterlist, here! as well as the series masterlist, here!

taglist | @wnderify @bunbunbl0gs @alwaysclassyeagle @bunting58 @callsignwidow @crazycat-ladys-blog

[trifoliumrex]

Let's Burn Chapter 4

Master

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8

So Here’s the thing. You died. Like dead dead. But there’s good news. Turns out the multiverse is real and Suga and Jay are going to make sure it doesn't happen again. If Yoongi and Hobi don’t get in the way. Or Worse yet the troublesome Kim Namjoon. Can they keep you safe when you don’t even know who they are? Or will Namjoon finally get what he wants.

A reader x J-hope x Suga fic

But also reader x yoongi

But also Hobi, and Jay. the multiverse am I right?

Word Count: 5081

Here, later: 

    All of your pictures of Hobi take two boxes. Two boxes not shoved but gently placed under your bed. A set of treasures. You weren't together but you certainly didn't hate him. You would have left them out. You would have surrounded yourself with happy memories. You worry though at rubbing Yoo–Suga “Suga Suga Suga'' you correct yourself. You don't want to rub Suga’s face in the missing years that were stolen. 

    You place the last photo in the box and shut the lid. It feels like you are shutting part of yourself in their two. Like the past years have all been a dream. A good dream that ended poorly. Like a children's story that is released alongside its target audience and then grows dark and dark until its climax ends in blood. You place the box with great care back under your bed and head for the living room. You’ve rearranged but you are still worried that there won't be enough space. You look over the stack of papers. Home. He’s coming home. 

   It's been about three months since that asshole tried to throw you over the stairs. Two and a half since you last heard from Hobi, and two months since the case was dropped against Suga. Hobi had complained long enough that they had been given no choice, especially when the video had leaked. They had done a lot to contain it but the courts had granted you your order of protection without much question. 

   Once the order had been granted, Hobi stopped responding to you. It was fair. You had broken up with him after all. You had ended it. But despite all that he had still given you the apartment. He had still stayed on Suga's care and you suspect he was the one who was driving him to your place. A  service the hospital did not normally provide. You were informed that someone volunteered.  You had been to the hospital maybe three times a week and we're confident that you understood the next steps to help him do his physical therapy between appointments. The fridge was stocked with all the supplements you need and the new wheelchair ramp that you had to fight to get installed was up. You had nothing to be nervous about.

   Except 

   Except this was in so many ways the culmination of so many of your dreams as a child. The  dream is to be close to him and to be able to take care of each other. Except neither of you though are the same person you were. Except somewhere your Hobi is out there with another person in his head. A psychotic break? Multiple personalities? Possession? That last one gives you the chills. You hate that it feels the most right. You hear a car and hurry over to the door. You count to 100. 

   It's an old habit. When you tried to make it seem like you were calmer than you were. Like you weren't waiting for Yoongi to come home every day. He saw right threw it. Suga sees through it now as you rush out to greet him.  He can’t help but glower at you, just a bit as you offer to push him up the ramp.  “I’ve got it” 

    “Oh" a hateful little pause "alright” you say. He can hear the deflation in your voice and he wills the unhappiness off his face. Suga has been diligent with his therapy and  he’s strong enough for this. It takes longer than he would have liked and he’s a bit annoyed at the way you follow behind him. laboriously. counting your steps. Trying to stay just the right distance away. He sighs. You've always been careful but he hates it. Hates that here it's not like there. There it had been like breathing.

    “Can you open the door for me?” You face flushes and you rush to open the door. He wants to tell you it's ok. That you’ll get better at this. You both will. That he appreciates you dropping everything in your life to take care of him. If he's honest though he wishes it were different. He wishes you had put him in one of the care facilities that Hobi had told him about. Hobi. Fuck. He knew that Jay was under there. He had seen him as he crawled to the door to try and rip you away from Namjoon. When he couldn't even get a few steps away from the bed. Couldn't even crawl to you. Did you think it was your Hobi who knew how to unlock your handcuffs and free you? Still. It was Hobi who helped him into the bed. Hobi who seemed to have an endless amount of patience and Hobi who you had dated between Yoongi's death and Suga finding the empty husk of his body. It might be him who you wanted now. It would be so much better if he could hate him. The way he hated Jay. It was the way he felt about him when he had first seen Jay, when they had first met. 

   When for the first time ever you weren't the only consideration in his life. 

   Hobi was like that. Jay and Suga had. Never mind. Those aren't safe thoughts. Not after what he had done to you. “The place is nice,'' Suga says after wheeling into the living room. It was nicer than what you had done in their apartment. It was more you but he can see the evidence of Hobi. The industrial lamp here, the rug that is too well coordinated to fit your eclectic tastes. A virus in your life but Suga has to admit a symbiotic one. One that was infecting him too.

   “You like it?” You ask in a breathy tone. So hopeful. He suddenly wants to say no. It's not the apartment you should be in. It’s not the one you share with him. But here, it's the best you could have had. And now, here, he can make it like it was. He stands up. It takes effort and leaves him out of breath but he makes it over to the couch. 

   “It’s nice. Does he have money?” It comes out harsher than he would have liked. You flash a strained smile.

   “He made decent money and we had the passive income from your parents property”

   “Why didn't you stay there? It would have been free”

   “Our building was gone.” and he almost died there and his brother had. “I would have had to kick someone out. I stayed in an empty unit for a while but It was pretty far from the hospital”

    “How often did you visit me? Is that where you met him?” He looks at you very carefully and he eases onto the couch. You take the seat next to him. 

     “At first it was every day. By the end it was twice a week. I'm sorry I should have come more. It’s where I met him. Do you…want to know about that?” 

    “No…am I why you broke up?” He doesn't know what he wants the answer to be.

    “No. Do you want to know about that? He wouldn't hurt me” You say too fast. Like you're trying to convince yourself. Suga isn’t convinced. He crosses his arms. “He’s a good man Yoo– Suga. It doesn't matter anyway. He hasn't returned my calls in a while.” Suga forces the smile away from his lips. It's difficult but he manages.

    “I did my PT already. The whole day’s ours. Do they still have Survivor?” He knows they do. One of the few constants.

    “Oh…Suga. They sure do” You pull up the app the show streams on. You are delighted when he takes the remote and flicks through the seasons.  At his best estimate this timeline was maybe two years further then his. Had he wandered around for two years then? He remembered flashes of other places. Always too late to save you. Always just behind Jay. 

   Yoongi wouldn’t have known about streaming services at least not to this extent but he did, but this particular app he had never had the pleasure of viewing. He picks a random season and he leans against you. He wishes it could be like it was. You lean against him, his limbs wrapping around you with an unspoken promise of safety. This is nice, in its own way. It becomes your new routine. You wake up and help him do his PT and make his appointments come home and watch Survivor. Watching the contestants do a reverse journey from Suga. Going from fit to emaciated in the span of a season. Suga is already starting to look better.

     He hates PT. He can feel himself lashing out at you. Usually it's small enough. That you can walk it off or put that strained smile on. But lately it's been getting worse. He feels the venom he spews but can’t tame the beast. 

    He failed to meet the goals Hobi had set for him today and sitting on a bench outside he feels the storm brewing in his gut and in his stomach as he waits for you. Sometimes he can feel someone watching the apartment. He assumes he was being paranoid if it weren't for the way you sometimes looked over your shoulder. 

   Maybe it was just the escalation of that serial killer. The bodies piling up that had you on edge. Maybe every walk up the ramp where your keys trembled so slightly in your hands was just that. Maybe it was because you were with Suga and not Hobi.

    Hobi had kept you safe. Not like Him and not like Yoongi. Yoongi. That bastard who let your face get mutilated. Who left you all alone and in danger from the greatest threat possible. Was it for Hobi's sake that Jay kept his teeth from sinking into your flesh again? Or maybe this was just a long con. Maybe he knew how much Hobi's absence would hurt you. Either way Suga was pissed. He was always angry these days but today he seethes. 

   He needed to get better. Needed to be able to protect you and keep you safe. Today served as just a reminder of how far away from that he truly was. He needs to reach out to some of his old contacts. Needs to build an empire that can protect you. 

   “Suga?” you call again rushing over to him out of breath. You are late and have had to run part of the way to get to him in time. You hate being late to pick him up. To save money though you had started to take the bus there and today you had missed it after trying to do a little cleaning around the apartment. 

   He looks up at you, your flushed face the frantic way you are rushing over to him. He looks at his watch and scowls. You’re five minutes late and you’re freaking out. He makes you feel this way. Scared. He makes you feel scared. How could he not? Yoongi had burned them alive. Suga at least had had the intelligence to keep his crimes a secret. Keep you out of the mud he let himself be encrusted with. It had worked too. Until it hadn't. “You’re out of breath” 

   It comes out like an accusation and you pause. Counting to three in your head. Grumpy. He’s always grumpy around PT. He’s not mad at you, you remind yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. “I missed the bus”

   “Why didn't you take a car? '' The smile on your lips is so obviously forced this time that even you know it won't fool anyone. The money talk. How many fights had you had about that subject? You know you need to get a job. Suga knows you need to get a job. His money is running out and so is the life insurance your mother had left you. You can’t leave him like this. Not when a private nurse would just cost more than you would bring in. You had nightmares about him falling. 

    “I like the bus”

    “Bullshit.”

    “Well we can take a car back so it will work out just fine” 

    “You should just leave me to the state” he says bitterly. It's your turn to scowl. You both know there is no way you’d be able to do that. You were a fool for not having planned for this. For having wasted money and time you could have been making more money on studying. You couldn't even go back to your old job. Not with your face like this. 

   “You shouldn’t talk like that”

   “Just shut up. I hate when you rush to come get me like I'm a child. We aren't kids anymore! You need to take care of yourself!” 

   “I am!”

   “Look at yourself! You didn't even do your makeup” You inhale sharply and Suga cringes back into the bench. That wasn't what he meant. He knows how you feel about it. Know how much it bothers you. Your hand goes to your face trying to hide the long scar. He watches the tears well up in your eyes and you hastily try and wipe them away.

   He’s in pain.

   He’s in pain and he didn't mean it. 

   “That’s not” you hold your hands up in a stopping motion. 

   “The car is going to be over there. I'm going to take the bus home ok. Just…call me if you need me alright?” Yoongi grabs your arm and you both know it's not enough to hold you there. You stay where you are. 

   “I’m sorry. Look. Let me go home and do my shit alone today. I promise I’ll do them but… will you take the night off. I know… I know what I'm like” his voice trembles just a bit and he clears his throat “I know it's hard. I'm sorry”

   “It's not” not what? not his fault? Maybe, but to you he is Yoongi, he is that ass hole who did this to you. too both of you. He should have found this you sooner. This you who, who he can still help. If he only gets stronger.

   “It is” he grabs his wallet and hands you the rest  of the cash he has on him. It's a significant amount. More than the two of you can afford. “Look. pick us up for dinner and those things you put in the bath that makes it smell good. And the wine you like the pink stuff”

   “Y–suga you don't need to”

   “If I could walk as far as I wanted to, I'd get you flowers as big as your head and I don't know all that romantic shit you like.” he struggles to his feet and kisses the scar on your cheek. “You’re beautiful. You have always been beautiful. You are still beautiful” He sees the unbelief in your eyes. He wants to take more time. To assure you. Maybe to mend the hurt between you and for your relationship to grow into what it always was meant to be. He can’t not yet. Not until he can make this broken body capable of the one thing it should have been conditioned to be. To protect you. To finally keep you safe. He had lost count of your lifeless corpses. This time, he would make sure you live.

   “You’ll call me? If you need help? If you need anything” he gently wipes at the tears that still linger on your face. He nods slowly and deliberately.

    “Take a car”

    “That's to much. I'll take the bus. I'll see you tonight” He almost leans in for another kiss. Then he pulls back and gives your hand a squeeze. His eyes never leave your face. He needs you to go. It's an old trope he can’t help it. He hates to see you go but he does like to watch you leave. 

     You take a seat on the bus and you try to figure out what to do. Where to go with your freedom. No, don't think about it like that you tell yourself. What to do with your spare time. You check your phone for movie times. Maybe you could watch one. Really calm down. Maybe something really romantic where no one gets sick and no one gets hurt and the worst thing that happens to anyone is someone gets their heart broken. 

    You check your phone for the nearest movie theater. It's in a part of town you don't know well, you and Hobis' circle had always been fairly close to the hospital so those nights he was on call would be less horrible. It doesn't look that complicated to get there and it's only fifteen minutes away from the bus stop. 

   You buy your ticket online. The romcom in question has a dog on the cover so you quickly google does the dog die. You're not sure you can handle doggie death at the moment. It seems like the dog does not die. Good. even better you've wasted nearly the whole bus ride. You get off and look around. Ok maybe there was a reason you didn't come over here. It certainly looks more run down then the part you had started to grow accustomed to. Still it wasn’t as bad as where you grew up. The worst part was just all the closed buildings. It gave the place a deserted feel. Empty.

   You try not to draw any parallels. Try not to dwell on the empty spot in your life that Hobi has left. The one that you try not to hope Suga will fill. The one that you definitely do hope he fills. It's complicated. Wanting both, knowing neither are really good for you but also knowing that either of them would probably be the best you could ever have. 

   You felt lucky. Despite everything. Two great loves. How many people went through life with none and you had two. True Suga didn't touch you. He looked at your face and stopped and Hobi, shit. You shoot a prayer up to anyone who might be listening that Hobi gets the help he needs. That this is just a mental health crisis. That the sinister feeling you can’t shake is more than that. Does that make you a terrible person? A superstitious fool who would accuse a person suffering from schizophrenia of witchcraft? 

    Your hand drops to your stomach. Like the touch on the outside will sooth the storm that's brewing. It won't. You still have to try. Sometimes you think that's one of your better qualities. Today you do not feel quite the same way. You should be paying more attention. If you had perhaps you would have noticed faster. 

    You had clasped the phone. Your first instinct is to call Suga. The familiar surroundings bring you right back to your childhood. You hand hovers over the button. Then you think of how he has to struggle to his feet. The wince in his eyes. The pain in his face when he found you rotting in your room. Unable to take back the pain you had gone through. The fire. You can't. There is no way you can do that to him again. 

    Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck fuck fuck. The footsteps are getting closer. You don't want to turn around. You are suddenly sure that if you do it will be that serial killer who will take your eyes and your fingers. A second worse thought comes to your brain unbidden. What if it's that cop? That awful cop who threatened to throw you over the balcony. Your breathing is getting faster. You only have one other option. One other person who gives a shit whether you live or die.

    Or at least did. He had helped you with that cop. He lives in the area and if  his schedule is the same he dosen't work. You dial the number. What other choice do you have? 

   Jay stands up and grabs the phone. Your ringtone is special. Hobis favorite song. He doesn't respond to your texts. He’s trying, really trying to end this. Without your death. He shoves the man whose mouth he was just inside to the ground. “H…hello?” you whisper into the phone. Your tone has him immediately on edge. He starts pulling on clothes off the other man he hasn’t bothered to learn the name of who looks suspiciously like Suga, he doesn't care. He just needs something to put on “I didn’t know who else to call” you sound frightened. You sound terrified. When he says nothing you  let out a sniffle and your voice trembles even more. “I think someones following me” 

    Jay runs to his car. He doesn't even remember the dash there “Where are you?! Where the fuck are you” Namjoon. It's Namjoon and he's stalking you and he’s going to have to watch you die again. This time he’ll go right to Suga and have him kill him. Bring a gun so he can do it quickly so he can try again.

   He can’t not this time. Not this you. He thinks about the way you touched him. The way your lips had formed around the words I love you. He had forced you more than once to say those words but this time it was real. Hobi was real and 

    “I don't know. I turned down a street” you get out breathy and scared almost as scared as him.

    “Send me your location” he’s screaming it at you. You actually let out a sob and lower your hands to send him your location.  He hears a smack and your phone falls to the ground, a whimper coming from your lips. Someone picks up the phone. 

   “Who’s on the phone, pretty lady?” your voice is muffled but he thinks he can just hear you try to get up. You don't know how to answer. Jay hears another impact followed by a muffled yelp. 

    “The cops! They know where I am so just leave me a–” another impact. 

   “Who is this?” A voice that is clearly not Namjoon's. Jay lets out a sigh of relief. “I don’t think you're telling the truth bitch.” The phone goes dead. Jay wants to crush it but instead looks at the location. The same street Namjoon pulled you off of. He tries to remember what had Namjoon had done to you before taking you to that warehouse? To his warehouse. How many bruises was he able to count on your body over the grainy footage? He remembers the split lip. 

    He makes it to the nearest place he can make it in his car before heading off on foot. The sound of the whimper burning into his brain. It's not hard to find you. He just has to follow the sound of your crying. It couldn't be more cliche if it had shown up in a drama. Beautiful woman pressed up against the corner, begging for her attacker not to hurt her. This is the part the hero shows up. He can feel Hobi. Can feel him strain to get to you.

    Jay sees an opportunity. He can feel the hate for him leaking from Hobi. Jay knows though. Knows that this man won't kill you. He knows he should be staying away but how many nights have he spent pouring over your pictures? How fast would this drive you into his arms? Prove that a nose broken here or there as for your own good That you needed him. He could use this to get you and keep you. Not Hobi, him. He watches the man spin you around like you are a rag doll, take a good look at your face and laugh. The contents of your purse are already strewn about. He hears you frighteningly ask what he wants. Do you not know? What do men like this always want? He can hear when the man spits on you. 

   The moment you go quiet. 

   Just a little more and you would be too scared to leave your apartment. What could Suga do in this new weak body to keep you safe? He had failed even at his peak. Your hands weakly go to protect your head from another blow but it doesn't come. Instead there is ripping fabric and Jays leg bounces. Every cell in Hobis body screams at him. Put yourself in between them. Do something! HELP HER. He needs to keep you safe. Hobis mind can fathom being a shield for you. For both of you to end the day bruised if not broken. There is another impact when you try once more to resist the man. Your lip splits open. Jay has a better solution than a shield. He calmly grabs the man by his hair and slams him into the brick above your head. He watches your expressions. The relief followed by the fear and then the nausea as he slams the head into the wall again and again. He doesn't drop the man till he’s sure he's dead. Jay looks down at you, huddled against the wall. You’re splattered in blood and he has to admit. When it's not yours, he likes it. 

   You watch his face change and Hobi looks at the man in horror. It's only there for a moment before Jay pulls out his phone and starts making calls. Jay has been busy and he already has the contacts to clean this up. He touches your face as he dials his calls. Gently probing each injury. When he's done he lifts you up. 

   You haven't said anything. “Do you want me to take you home?” you shake your head in horror. Suga can’t see you like this. If this is what Hobi did, what would Suga do? What if he hurts himself again? Jay can’t help but smile just a bit but it quickly turns to a frown when his hand trails down to your neck. Is that a bruise? A fucking hand print?How had he let himself think even for a moment  that he should let it continue? He does what he needs to. He lets Hobi out. Hobi who wanted nothing more to help you. He needs to protect you. Both of you. He forces a false memory into Hobis’ stream of consciousness. Lets him believe the man is not dead, and that he’s called for help. That his oath to do no harm is still, mostly, intact. “Is he dead?” you ask in a still trembling voice.

    Hobi looks down at you like a man waking from a dream. He’s so confused and he looks at the man. He remembers calling for help. Remembers feeling his pulse but this is clearly a dead man at his feet. His mind struggles to merge the realities and it hurts. A quiet voice that almost sounds like his own soothes him. Tells him not to worry. To answer you. “No, he’s alive. I'm going to take you to my place ok?” 

  He stoops down to pick up your strewn about items from the ground. The wad of cash that he knows you don't have to just throw around, your id, your credit cards. Jay hadn't even considered it. The pieces of your life that anyone could pick up and use to take your life apart, a piece here, a part there. He loads you into his car, buckling you in and smoothing the seat belt. There’s a tremble in his hand. The voice in the back of his head tells him it's going to be ok. The voice is gentle. The way he only has ever been with you on occasion. All the good in him is summed up here. In this man, and he's tearing him apart.

   There’s no talking on the ride home. Just the sound of  the road and the quiet sound of you trying to stifle your tears. He pulls into his designated spot. “I'm going to therapy. I… I don't know how I did that but. He was hurting you.” You turn to look at him. You look so unsure, so lost. 

   “Are you getting help?” you ask in a tiny voice. He can hear the voice laugh. I am helping you, it whispers. He got out of the car to hide his unease. This is new. This talking is new. He opens your door and offers you his hand.

   “I am. I would never do what he did to you. I would never leave you like that” he whispers in your ears as he leads you up to his new apartment. He lets you set the pace. Let me lead. You hover at the threshold  “you don't have to go in” you don’t have to forgive me. You don't have to let me into your life again. You both hear it. 

    “I miss you Hobi. I miss you so much” You enter his apartment. 

   While you shower Hobi calls Suga. He explains what happened. The mugging. In vague terms. He promises to bring you back home tomorrow. 

    He does. 

    He doesn't really leave after that. 

    Not when both of you confess how hard it's been. How mean he gets when he’s in pain and how much he wants it not to be to you. The move in is slow. And it’s surprising to you how welcome he is. How much Suga likes him. Even when it becomes clear you are together. The lines though, it is funny how they start to blur. 

   How like a page exposed to water, with an ink drawing bleeds your lives start to bleed together. It seems to be better. Hobi seems to be himself. Suga watches though. Watches for the flashes of Jay. He knows he's there. Just under the surface. He waits for him, but he hopes that Hobi will win out. That Jay will disappear the way that Yoongi has. He even convinces himself he has. 

    Until he sees him. 

    He comes out at dinner when a waiter hits on you. This time he at least waits till you go to the bathroom. Jay grins at him. A wink, a sinister gaze that has Suga grip his dinner knife. He’s grateful. Despite it. Because when Jay threatens to kill the man, at least he can.

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8

[sassylady1103]

Mag’s New Journal

I’m so exited that I found a working terminal and I can start journaling again! I had to leave my previous journal behind in the vault. Colleen warned me that I needed to do a backup of my terminal, but I got a little carried away taking photos before we all left. I used all of my hototapes and forgot to save my journal. But that’s ok! This is the start of my new life, so new journal!

Introduction: my name is Margaret Fiona Kelly, but I’ve always gone by Mags. Not Maggie like my grandmother, who died, so I never got to know her, or Meg like mama’s sister, who also died in the war. We were lucky that way, I guess. My parents were chosen to come to Vault 76 because Papa was retired from the Air Force and a professor at Vault Tech University. He was able to bring his family, which was just him, mama and Colleen at the time. I was born in the vault. I’d never seen the sky until Reclamation Day….the best day of my life!

I’m 23 years old, and Colleen still treats me like a kid. She’s been so overprotective since Papa died 4 years ago, just 2 years after Mama…but she wasn’t the only one Papa was preparing for the outside! Now that we’ve found our old house in the outskirts of Morgantown, she treats me like I’m a prisoner! I told her I wanted to see more of the outside, and she promised she’d take me to Morgantown the next time she goes for supplies. I can’t wait so I can find some goodies to bring life back to this house! I can’t believe it’s still here. Some of these places…well let’s just say the years haven’t been kind.

The house is pretty nice. I imagine the brick helped keep it standing. Colleen says Mama’s insistence on quality helped the floors and furnishings last all this time. Papa always made sure the repairs were done, so no leaks or anything! But some things do need replaced and if I have to be stuck here while Colleen’s out wandering around and making things safe, then there needs to be some upgrades! I’ve spent the last 2 weeks since we left the vault cleaning, and I want to make this a home for us.

Colleen feels very emotional about the house. She was 8 years old when they left, and now she has a lot of memories flooding back. We even found her old toys in her room. She’s sleeping there. She told me to sleep in Mama’s room. Even though I never had a life here before, I sort of feel close to Mama and Papa again, so I’m glad we came here.

Anyway, I’ll write more later. Colleen should be coming home today after her trip to Charleston and I’m making some corn soup from what survived in Mama’s garden. It took awhile to clean it all up and identify everything, but it’s good that we have it. It’s almost like Mama’s still taking care of us.

Until then, Mags