#I’ve been visiting Mexico City since I was a kid bc my grandma lives there but I never fully understood the history of the city
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Everyone thinks I’m just this little nice girl like my ancestors aren’t from Mexico City!?
#the amount of intergenerational trauma I’ve inherited must be insane bc I felt like I was dying 24/7 up until like 2 months ago when I#learned how to heal my nervous system loll#idk what happened in my lineage but I have a whole lot of rage so it can’t be good lmao#everywhere you go in Mexico City you’re standing on the ruins of Aztec temples that the Spanish built over#that city is the embodiment of colonization and trauma lol#I guess that’s what I feel so weird about Mexico City becoming a fun tourist spot for white Americans#bc there’s no acknowledgment of the history of colonialism and slavery and violence that had made the city what it is today#let alone the experiences of people who live there now who are experiencing poverty and gentrification and neocolonialism by the US#I’ve been visiting Mexico City since I was a kid bc my grandma lives there but I never fully understood the history of the city#until I went to the downtown area where the famous church is and walked over the ruins of the temples that peek out as you walk#in the capitol building reminding you of the indigenous communities that were decimated to create everything you see in front of you#it’s a surreal feeling that I’ll never get over#personal
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Every year I mourn the fact that my parents won’t let me celebrate día de los muertos. It makes me more sad that they think it’s an “ugly” holiday even though they grew up in Mexico City.
I know a lot of immigrant kids feel disconnected from their culture, which I don’t really feel most of the time, but I do feel disconnected from my family bc they live so far away and I wasn’t able to have the same relationships with my grandma or aunts and uncles that my cousins have.
I also feel like doing an altar and remembering ppl my parents have lost, is like a way of healing from things or a way to start having conversations about painful things we’ve been through since so many things are often swept under the rug or dismissed in my family.
Idk if it’s bc I haven’t seen the celebration in Mexico bc I’ve never visited during this time of year, but creating an altar seems like an act of care to me, and not getting to celebrate it feels like another example of the lack of care or sense of community in my family.
#my family that still lives in Mexico is definitely more communal but they still don’t really celebrate#personal
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