#I’ve been playing the song on repeat GOOD DAY FOR EMO KIDS EVERYWHERE

[purblzart]

Ok something I really liked about the new episode is when Better Than Blitzo guy told Stolas he liked his song, as far as we know Stolas has always sung in private, never ever in front of another person, and the only time he was seen singing he was caught off guard and got told off by Stella , so it was really nice to see someone approach him and appreciate an aspect of himself he’s kept hidden, just genuinely liked him for him, I’m probably reading too much into it but I Think It’s Neat

[clumsyclifford]

hello bella’s ask box it’s been a min damn.

so the vibes are fucking everywhere w the music in the lab today so i’ve mostly been ignoring it but then unforgettable by thomas rhett started playing and my brain was immediately like This Is a Fic Song

more importantly it is a Bella Fic Song

last time you not so subtly wanted me to prompt u w w thomas rhett song you told me to do that here so i am back again w another song from ur boy

okay i def snuck out just to send this so i gotta go now but this felt important laksdjdld

ok ily bye 💛

hi sam :)

so.................... i was stuck on what to write you for your birthday fic. you sent me this ask prompting me with a thomas rhett song that i had literally been meaning to write a fic based on for almost a full year. the puzzle pieces just aligned REALLY nicely on this one.

happy birthday, my love. there's gonna be a LOT more sappy shit in the ao3 notes, but please know that my life is irreversibly changed for the better because i met you. i am dangerous close to sounding like glinda from wicked and i really want you to get to READ this fic so please see ao3 for more schmaltz. i love you so much.

tw for alcohol

read here on ao3

-

Every life has a moment that imprints on memory like ink on a fresh page. The kind of moment that permanently alters the trajectory of that life, that marks the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another. Some people are lucky enough to have more than one. Some people’s minds are laden with crystallized memories. But there’s always at least one. One completely unforgettable moment.

For Jack, this moment happens twenty-four minutes after he enters the club.

Twenty-three minutes after he enters the club, Zack returns with his and Jack's second beers and says, "There's some guy at the bar who's totally your type."

"Yeah?" Jack cranes his neck, but he can't quite see the bar from where he is. "My type how? Not just 'lonely and drunk,' right? My standards have gotten higher, you know."

Zack hands Jack his beer. "He's cute and he's wearing a One Direction shirt, and I'm pretty sure he's drinking a margarita.”

"Oh shit," Jack says. "That checks all my boxes."

"I know it does," says Zack, winner of the Wingman Of The Decade award. He claps Jack on the shoulder. Jack sidesteps people until he gets eyes on the bar and scans for a cute guy in a One Direction shirt drinking a margarita.

Twenty-four minutes after Jack enters the bar, he sees Alex.

And everything changes forever.

*

"Woah," Jack says. His gut is feeling weird and it’s probably unrelated to the beer and a half under his belt.

"What?"

"The guy at the bar," Jack says, grabbing Zack's arm. "Zack. You grossly undersold my future husband to me."

"Your future husband?" Zack sounds amused, but Jack isn't kidding.

"Remember this moment," he says seriously, giving Zack a sloppy pat on the bicep before moving away from him, towards the bar, towards the cute guy with the One Direction shirt who's making Jack understand clairvoyance. "Remember this so you can tell the story at our wedding!"

"Your wedding," Zack repeats.

"Our fucking wedding!" Jack insists, more loudly as space and drunk people fill the growing gap between him and Zack. Zack just gives him a good-luck-and-godspeed wave.

Seconds later, Jack is at the bar.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The cute guy in question looks up, surprised. Jack practically reels. It's a miracle people aren't flocking to this guy; he's not just cute, he's gorgeous. Bleach-blond hair — clearly from a bottle, which somehow Jack finds more attractive — flops over his forehead in a stubborn commitment to the emo fringe that died out a decade ago, and long lashes frame brown eyes that rival the glossy chestnut color of the bar. Add the five o'clock shadow and the sharply angled jaw and Jack's speechless.

Fortunately it's not his turn to speak. "I have a drink," says the guy, who is rapidly progressing from Cute Guy At Bar to Possible Soulmate At Bar. He quirks a smile. Jack's done for. "I'll buy you a drink, though."

Jack sets his partially-drunk beer on the bar top and slides it as far as he can reach. "Okay," he says.

Possible Soulmate laughs. He slides his margarita away from him, too, pushing it into the space of another person sitting down the bar. "Touché. Okay, you can buy me a drink."

"Well, hey, I don't want you to waste yours," Jack says reasonably. He retrieves his beer and then Possible Soulmate's drink. "I'll get the next one."

Possible Soulmate smiles. Jack is going to need his name eventually. "I appreciate your commitment to environmentally-friendly consumption of alcohol."

Jack blinks. "Yeah," he says. "That was a lot of big words, but sure. No problem. I'm Jack, by the way."

"Alex." Alex. Jack can see the wedding invites now.

"Nice to meet you," Jack says. "I like your shirt."

Alex glances down out of instinct as the wide collar of the shirt slips over his shoulder. "Thanks," he says with a chuckle, and looks up at Jack. "I like yours."

With great effort, Jack tears his gaze from Alex's shoulder and the hint of collarbone peeking out, but he would like it on the record that it is tremendously difficult. Fortunately he already knows what shirt he's wearing because he'd agonized over it for several minutes longer than Zack's patience ran, shortly before going out.

"Yeah, Kurt Cobain," he says, nodding with probably too much enthusiasm. "I'm a lead singer guy."

"Really?" Alex tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. "Meaning what?"

"I go for the lead singer types," Jack explains. "Kurt Cobain, Billie Joe Armstrong, you know." He nods at Alex's shirt. "Harry Styles."

"Harry Styles wasn't—" Alex breaks off and snorts. "Eh, whatever. Who cares."

"Wait," Jack says. "Hold the phone. Did you fucking cross out Zayn's face?"

Alex looks down at his shirt again like maybe he'll have forgotten what it looks like. "Oh, my friend did that. But now the shirt is factually accurate."

"If you wanted an accurate shirt you'd have to cross them all out since none of them are in the band anymore," Jack observes.

Alex slowly smiles. "I guess."

"I always liked Zayn," Jack says wistfully. "His solo shit is so good, though."

"It's good," Alex says, kind of in the tone of voice of someone who doesn't really agree but doesn't want to get into it, so Jack leaves it be. They can poll their wedding guests. "I'm really digging Niall's solo shit."

"That's an extremely acceptable answer," Jack says, nodding vigorously. In the moment it slips his mind that he's holding a beer and the liquid begins to slosh out of its container. "Oh shit, fuck, sorry."

"Didn't get me," Alex says, passing Jack a napkin. "Couple too many, I get it."

"What?" Jack is very focused on drying his hands so they don't get sticky and gross. "I'm not drunk."

Alex laughs. "Yeah, right."

"I'm not!"

"Okay," Alex says lightly, but it's clear he doesn't believe Jack. On the bright side, he doesn't seem bothered by it.

"I am acceptably drunk for a guy in his mid-twenties at a club,” Jack amends. "And you owe me a drink anyway."

"Hey, I intend to buy you that drink," Alex says earnestly. "Another beer?"

Jack shakes his head. "Vodka soda," he says. "It's a special occasion."

"Really! You celebrating something?"

"I am now," Jack says. "Celebrating meeting my future husband."

"Your future husband?"

"You," Jack says, in case it wasn't clear. "It's not every day you meet the man you're gonna marry. I think it calls for a celebratory vodka soda."

Alex stares, obviously expecting Jack to say sike! When Jack does no such thing, he gives a small, incredulous laugh.

"Fair enough," he says. He sounds like he's humoring Jack. That's okay. Jack is serious, but Alex will figure that out on his own time. "I guess you're not wrong. That doesn't happen every day."

A large shadow materializes on Alex's other side, blocking light like some very cliché movie villain. It's not Doc Ock, but it is some tall, burly guy, a leer affixed to his face that's probably been there since Alex's haircut went out of style.

"Hey, baby," he says in an unnervingly deep voice. The part of Jack that isn't super skeezed out is a little jealous. But Burly Guy isn't talking to Jack; Jack may as well be invisible. To Alex, Burly Guy says, "Saw you across the bar and I just had to come over."

Didn't have to, Jack thinks grumpily to himself. You could have stayed across the bar. If you walk away now we’ll pretend we never saw you.

"Can I get you a drink?" Burly Guy asks, and honestly, Jack has no idea what Alex is going to say.

Big Burly Guy with a deep voice a la Morgan Freeman vs. resident beanstalk Jack whose voice sounds like a rejected cartoon character design. What a tough choice.

Jack is just preparing to cut his losses when Alex grabs Jack's wrist, turns to him, and says, "Honey? What do you think?"

Jack's tipsy, but Alex is definitely communicating something with his eyes, and between that and the pet name Jack is pretty sure he's on the same page.

"You want to buy my boyfriend a drink?" Jack asks Big Burly Guy, cranking up the Bitchy energy because he doesn't get to do it a lot and it's kinda fun. His voice has definitely gone vaguely southern-auntie, but he's rolling with it. "Sorry, sugar, this seat's taken. Must be this guy" — he points at himself — "to ride."

"This guy?" Burly Guy echoes, furrowing his eyebrows at Jack and then looking at Alex with profound confusion, like he just doesn't get it. "You're with this guy?"

"Happily," Alex says, glancing back at Jack, who offers him what is definitely a convincingly enamored smile because Jack is legitimately enamored. Alex laces their fingers together and Jack's not delusional, can't be, not when they fit this well together. No way. "So I'm gonna pass on that drink. Sorry, man. No hard feelings."

Burly Guy seems to have some hard feelings. Maybe he didn't get the memo. "Whatever," he says gruffly. "Your loss."

Jack can't resist countering, "Actually it's your loss, sweetums," as Burly Guy retreats. If he dies tonight, he knows who’s responsible.

As soon as he's gone, Alex breaks down laughing, and Jack quickly follows suit. Alex's hand slips from Jack's and begins to tug at the ends of his own hair instead.

"Sugar?"

"I don't know what happened," Jack says/wheezes. "I became possessed by Blanche from Golden Girls.”

"You have to be" — Alex prods Jack's chest — "this guy to ride." He dissolves into giggles and Jack is laughing too but mostly because Alex's laugh is incredibly contagious.

"Look, I don't blame him," Jack says, feeling exhilarated. "You are the best-looking guy in this establishment. He just happened to have creepo vibes."

"I am not the best-looking guy in this establishment," Alex says, grinning at Jack. "Nice of you to say, though."

"Hey, I'm serious!"

"I thought you were Jack."

Jack stares at Alex and Alex doesn't even last a second before he's breaking down laughing yet again.

I'm going to marry you, Jack thinks, and it almost scares him how serious he is about that. He opens his mouth and says, "That wasn't even— that's not even one of the good dad jokes! That's the most boring one!"

"There is no such thing as a boring dad joke."

"You should go into stand-up," Jack says dryly. "You'd tear down the house with this set. I can see it now." He waves a grandiose hand in the air as if painting the marquee into existence, but when he goes to introduce the act he realizes he's missing most of the crucial information. "Alex…something…something. Austin, Texas, one night only."

"Gaskarth," Alex says. "That's my last name."

"Alex Something Gaskarth," Jack loyally amends, and gives Alex a look like, well?

Except Alex is giving Jack that same look. "I only know your first name and you expect me to tell you my full one?"

"Jack Bassam Barakat," Jack says, gesturing impatiently. "Come on, I'm trying to introduce your act here."

"Guess," Alex says.

"Guess?"

"It's a pretty basic middle name," Alex says. "I'll buy you your vodka soda when you guess it."

"Alex," Jack says. "I am not going to guess your middle name. I am so bad at these games and I'm fucking drunk."

"Quitter," Alex says. "Do you want your drink?"

Jack scowls, trying to channel Blanche again, but Alex is apparently immune.

"Give me a hint," he finally concedes.

"It's a British name," Alex says. “Pretty standard British.”

"Are you British?”

Alex nods. "Born and raised. Moved here when I was about…eight? But I'm not an American citizen. I have a green card."

Yet another reason they should be married. Jack could extend his citizenship to Alex. Plus he'd gain British citizenship, which would probably be useful for, like, travel or One Direction stalking or whatever.

"That's sick," Jack says. "I was born in Lebanon. We moved when I was a baby."

"That's so cool," Alex says, sounding genuinely interested. He props his chin on his hand and gives Jack a cheeky smile. "Now guess."

Jack sighs. "Uh, Charles."

"No."

"Darcy."

"Darcy?"

"Margaret."

"Jack."

"You said it's a British name!"

"A British man's name," Alex says, rolling his eyes in fond exasperation.

Jack takes a long pull from his beer, swallows, and says, "Harry."

"No."

They're going to be here awhile. Jack pulls out the seat next to Alex and settles in while he racks his brain for British names.

*

“Alfred.”

“Nope.”

“John.”

“No.”

“Paul.”

“No.”

“George.” Alex shakes his head. “Ringo.”

“Yup, you finally got it,” Alex says. Jack is over the moon for a split second before it sinks in that Alex is fucking with him. “Alex Ringo Gaskarth. Well done.”

“Fuck off, I’m doing my best here,” Jack says.

“You’re missing one incredibly obvious name,” Alex says. “It’s not that hard.”

“For you,” Jack says. “Because you already know it.” Alex is grinning. Jack likes that he’s enjoying himself. It makes this guessing game fun. Under any other circumstances, this guessing game would not be fun, but Alex makes it fun.

Alex has also finished his mango margarita by now, and Jack’s beer is long since empty. He’s itching for another drink, mainly for something to do with his hands.

As if reading his mind, Alex flags down the bartender, who sidles up with a small smile and says, “What can I get you boys?”

Jack blinks at her. Mostly at her accent, which is not American.

“Vodka soda,” Alex says. To Jack, “I think you’ve earned it.” Jack smiles.

“And a mango margarita,” he puts in to the bartender, “and are you British?”

The bartender looks amused. “I am British,” she says.

“Please help me,” Jack says. “Alex says his middle name is a British name and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it fucking is.”

“Jack, the nice bartender lady has other things to do,” Alex says with a laugh. The nice bartender lady probably does have other things to do, but she shifts her weight and gives Alex an appraising look instead.

“Harry?”

“Tried that,” Jack says, realizing at once that this is a pointless endeavor. The nice bartender lady is going to guess everything Jack’s already guessed and he’ll just have wasted her time. “I’ve tried every member of One Direction, every member of the Beatles, every member of Oasis, every Harry Potter character, every member of the Royal Family—”

At this, Alex coughs conspicuously.

Jack rounds on him. “I have.”

“Edward,” the bartender offers. Alex’s lips are pressed together in a smile and he shakes his head. “Meghan. Kate. Richard. Dick. Philip.”

A lightbulb goes off as the bartender is listing Royal Family names. Jack wants to kick himself. “Oh my— William?”

“Yeahhhh, there you go! See, it was easy,” Alex says, grinning widely.

“William,” the bartender repeats with a charming little laugh. Her lipstick is bright with clean lines, an impressive feat considering Jack has seen her bustling around this bar for almost an hour now. “I had an ex called William.”

“Oh no,” Alex says. “I hope he didn’t ruin the name for you.”

“Please,” the bartender says, waving him off. “The only thing he ruined for me was a few meters of drywall.” Jack and Alex must have twin looks of concern, because she explains, “Anger issues. No worries, boys, I sent him packing, and a vodka soda for you, and a mango marg for you.”

She slides their drinks into waiting hands and starts to turn away. “Wait a sec,” Jack says.

The bartender turns back to him with wide Bambi eyes. “Did I fuck up the drink? I’ve made it a million—”

“No no no,” Jack assures her. “I just wanted to know your name. You rescued me from an eternal guessing game, you’re my hero.”

The bartender smiles and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “Maisie,” she says. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, Maisie,” Alex says. “Thank you for the alcohol.”

Maisie laughs again as she moves to the other side of the bar.

“William,” Jack says, swirling his drink with the miniature straw. “God damn. I can’t believe I missed William.”

“You got close,” Alex says. “You guessed Liam twice. And thanks for the drink.”

“Same to you,” Jack says. “It’s a good drink. Yours, I mean. You know what offends me, though? Why aren’t mango margaritas orange?”

Alex furrows his brow. “Why the fuck would they be orange?”

“Mangos are orange! Fruity drinks should be the same color as their fruit.”

“Mangos are not fucking orange,” Alex says with an incredulous laugh. “They’re straight-up yellow.”

“They’re orange with yellow tendencies,” Jack says, “but mostly orange.”

“They are entirely yellow,” Alex says. “Coldplay even wrote a song about them. They were all yellow.”

“They’re orange,” Jack insists, but now Alex has moved on completely and is loudly singing Coldplay.

“I came along! I wrote a song foooor youuuuu! And all the things you do!”

“You’re ignoring the truth!”

“And it was called ‘Yellow’!” Alex shouts.

“Okay, I surrender! Sheesh. You win.”

“Thank you,” Alex says placidly, like he hasn’t just been yelling obnoxiously over the (worse, but much louder) club music. “I’m going to enjoy my yellow mango marg very much.”

“And I will enjoy my victory drink,” Jack says, lifting his glass. Alex lifts his. It smells like mango and tequila. They clink the rims together. “To William.”

“To William,” Alex agrees, laughing.

*

The DJ plays a song Jack loves to hate from hearing it on the radio so many times and Alex is out of his seat before Jack’s managed to put down his drink.

“What are—”

“I love this song, I want to dance,” Alex insists. The implication is clearly that he wants Jack to dance with him, which is like. What is Jack gonna do, say no?

Alex must anticipate some kind of argument, though, because with a glint in his eye he adds lightly, “These are the kinds of things you’ll have to do if we’re married.”

On the one hand, he’s clearly making fun. But on the other hand, the fact that Alex was a stranger an hour ago and is still comfortable teasing Jack about suggesting they’re going to get married speaks volumes. Alex is smiling. They’ve known each other for less than an hour — a drink and a half each — and Alex is smiling at his own joke about marrying Jack. Like he likes that Jack said it first. Like he likes Jack.

“Just wait ‘til you learn all the weird shit you’ll have to do when we’re married,” Jack says, sliding out of his stool.

Any sane person would have run away by now. Even Jack knows when he’s coming on too strong.

But Alex does the opposite; Alex grabs his wrist and pulls him towards the dance floor.

“Fair warning,” Alex says. “I don’t actually know how to dance.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Jack says, and then eats his words not two seconds later when Alex demonstrates how very much he doesn’t know how to dance. All of his limbs seem to move as their own entities, zero synchronization. A couple surrounding people take various minor assaults before taking the hint and giving Alex some space, but this does not stop him. “Okay,” Jack says loudly over the music. “You were right. But luckily neither do I.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Alex says.

Jack does the sprinkler. Alex snorts. He does the wave, very poorly, and Alex continues it, also very poorly.

“Mr. Moves,” Alex says. “I’m impressed.”

“Yeah? Check this one out.” Jack does the running man with extreme focus. Alex laughs, leaning towards Jack as he does. Jack stops dancing so he doesn’t accidentally hit Alex, who is suddenly much closer and who somehow smells like pine and flannel and fall and winter in one and is the best-looking person in blue jeans and checkered Vans on this dance floor. Far from the only person, but without question the prettiest.

Fuck.

“I don’t think I can do that one,” says Alex, grinning. Jack nods at him like, try it, so Alex does, proving himself right. He almost takes Jack’s eye out.

“Yeesh, okay, you’re— alright, take it easy,” Jack says, swatting Alex’s wayward hand away and laughing. “Well, we all have our strengths.”

Surrendering the running man, Alex starts up with some bizarre hand-wavey foot-kicky thing, singing along to the music.

“Do you seriously like this song?” Jack asks, attempting to imitate Alex’s dance. “Dance,” heavy quote marks implied.

Alex shoots Jack a look. “Hell yeah. What, you don’t?”

“It’s just…always on,” Jack says. “Everywhere. How are you not sick of it?”

“Because it fuckin’ slaps!” Alex looks incensed.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised you’re a pop music person when you’re literally in a One Direction shirt.”

“I’m a lots of music person,” Alex counters. “Including pop music, yeah. You don’t like pop music?”

“I sometimes do,” Jack says. “I like Taylor Swift. Britney Spears.”

“Okay, well, you’d have to be insane not to like them.”

“Yeah, and I’m obviously sane.”

Alex barks a laugh. “Drunk but sane.”

“I am not drunk!” That’s probably a lie by now.

“You’re not convincing me otherwise,” Alex says. “I’m confident you’ve been drunk this whole time.”

“You haven’t exactly been an innocent bystander,” Jack says. “You bought me a drink, and you’re gonna buy us shots in a minute.”

“I did— I what?”

“Yeah,” Jack says, and this time he drags Alex off the dance floor, back to the bar. “I can see the future, I forgot to tell you.”

“You—” Alex laughs again and leans on the bar, trapping both his elbows between his stomach and the bartop. “You’re buying the next round.”

“Oh, happily,” Jack says. “I’m actively trying to get you drunk.”

“Why’s that?”

“Studies show I am 75% more attractive to people when they’re drunk,” says Jack.

Alex turns to him. Without missing a beat, he says smoothly, “I don’t think it’s possible for you to get any more attractive.”

Fuck. Actually, fuck. Seriously. Fuck.

“You must be drunk already, then,” Jack says.

Alex smiles serenely. “I feel pretty sober.”

“Exactly what a drunk person would say,” Jack says. “J’accuse, William.”

Alex laughs. “In that case, your studies are right.”

Jack’s probably blushing. He does that in extreme cases only, but this is nothing if not an extreme case. Alex is fucking relentless.

Maisie the bartender is back, and Alex orders them shots of tequila. Somewhere in the recesses of Jack’s mind, this unlocks a memory, and he snaps his fingers. “I should hunt down my friend, he loves tequila.”

“Friend?” Alex looks around while Maisie pours their shots. “You ditched your friend?”

“He told me to,” Jack says. “He’s probably gonna pick up some girl. Actually, he probably already has.”

“Really,” Alex says, sounding amused.

“Zack’s a strong silent type,” Jack explains. “Emphasis on strong. We’re single guys in our mid-twenties, Alex. We’re not going to clubs for the atmosphere.”

“Admit it,” Alex says. “You a little bit are.”

Jack bites his lip. “Fine, I like the atmosphere,” he admits, more affected than he should be that Alex seems to have picked up on this about him. “And the alcohol. And the chances I’ll meet my future husband, which clearly paid off. Zack will never admit it, but I’m pretty sure he likes trying to set me up with random people in clubs.”

Alex laughs. “He set you up with me?”

“Oh yeah,” Jack says. “He wingmanned me hard. You can thank him in your vows.”

This only serves to make Alex laugh harder. “I’ll thank him now,” he says with a grin. Taking his cue, Jack grabs his shot glass. Alex does the same. “To Zack.”

“To Zack!” Jack cheers, and they both down their shots.

“Me?”

Jack whirls around and trips straight into Zack. “Zack!” he says brightly. “We toasted you.”

“I heard,” Zack says. “Why, exactly?”

“I’m Alex,” says Alex, holding out a hand. Zack shakes it. “Apparently you set us up?”

“Oh,” Zack says. “I wouldn’t really say that. I just kind of pointed Jack in this direction. If you can put up with him, that’s all you.”

“I was gonna come find you anyway,” Jack says. “We’re doing tequila shots. Next round on me.”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Zack says. “Count me in.”

They can’t come up with a toast for their second round so they just knock it back with an ambiguous cheer; then Zack offers to buy another, and Jack’s not about to refuse. It’s starting to hit just right, so he’s buzzed but not incoherent. All his most brilliant ideas come in this state.

Case in point: as Maisie is pouring them their third round, Jack suddenly says, “Maisie! Do a shot with us!”

Maisie looks up and laughs. “I’m not supposed to drink on the job,” she says.

“It’s not drinking, it’s bonding,” Jack insists.

“Yeah, we’re forming lasting friendships,” Alex jumps in.

Zack looks entertained. “You guys know each other?”

“As of half an hour ago, yes,” Maisie says.

“Maisie here helped me guess Alex’s middle name,” Jack explains. “Which is William. Like the prince.”

“I feel like I missed so much,” Zack says, half to himself. He shrugs and nods at Maisie. “One shot. On me. For Jack. We won’t tell.”

Maybe it’s because Zack is buff and has cool tattoos or just has good vibes or whatever, but Maisie hesitates only a second before inclining her head. “Just one, and no blabbing,” she says, meeting all of their eyes in turn. Everyone nods solemnly, and Maisie discreetly pours herself a fourth shot.

“Hell yes!” Jack whoops as they all take a shot glass. “To Maisie!”

“To Maisie!” Everyone echoes, including Maisie with a wry grin.

The third shot goes down smoother than the first two. Jack swallows his easily, as does Alex. Maisie puckers her face a bit. Zack has zero reaction, because Zack’s just kinda like that.

“While I’m here, I was hoping to get another beer,” Zack says.

“On it,” Maisie says immediately, giggling. “Thanks for the shot, boys. You’ve kept me far more entertained tonight than my usual shift provides.”

“You can give a toast at our wedding,” Jack says to her. Zack’s eyes widen a little, Alex snorts, and Maisie laughs.

“I’d be honored,” she says. “Back to work now. You need anything, let me know.”

“Seriously, Jack?”

“What?” Jack gives Zack an innocent smile. He pats Zack on the cheek. “Don’t worry, sugar, you can give a toast too.”

Alex laughs. Zack stares at him and shakes his head. “You’re insane,” he says, but he says that roughly twice a day so he’s still below his quota. “I’ll leave you two alone. Come find me when you wanna go. If…” He eyes Alex. “...Just…yeah.”

And with these eloquent words, he disappears with his beer into the crowd.

“I like him,” Alex announces.

“Me too,” Jack says. He turns back to Alex. “Back to the dance floor?”

“Get out of my brain,” Alex says. “I’d like to see your drunken running man.”

“It is gonna blow your fucking mind,” Jack promises, and Alex laughs again.

*

They’re not even being gross like everyone else. Alex has pulled Jack into an exaggerated tango performed mostly with missteps when it happens: someone shoves them aside as they walk past, and Alex loses his balance and falls into Jack, who just barely manages to catch them both. He doesn’t manage to stop his arm from winding around Alex’s waist. To be fair, he doesn’t try very hard.

Jack’s first thought is homophobe, but then he spots the offender, lumbering off with heavy footfalls, and it’s Burly Guy from earlier. The guy who tried and failed to pick Alex up.

All of this registers as Alex slowly regains his footing. “Damn, who pissed in that dude’s Cheerios?”

“It’s the guy from before who tried to buy you a drink,” Jack says, pointing at his back.

Alex whips his head around. “Seriously? Asshole.”

Jack chooses not to observe that from his vantage point, being shoved close together is hardly a dick move. In intent, sure, but not in actuality; Jack’s enjoying the proximity a great deal. Like, a lot.

Like, his hand is still on Alex’s hip, subtly keeping Alex close, and Alex has his arm around Jack’s shoulders from their dance and he’s not moving, either.

“Yeah,” Jack says. They’d already been on the outskirts and now they’re off to the side of everyone, wallflowers.

Alex breathes a laugh and looks back at Jack. He doesn’t step back or even lean away, even though their faces are too close to be friendly now. Jack hadn’t really been expecting friendly, but they’ve been tightrope-walking between sides, and if neither of them breaks this up then they’ll be irreversibly left on one end.

Jack has no intention of moving away. He likes this end of the tightrope. For all he cares, they could cut the tightrope and free-fall together.

“You’re pretty good at bad tango-ing,” Alex says, reaching up to brush away the sweaty fringe that’s clinging to his forehead.

Jack grins. “Well, you know what they say. It takes two.”

Alex kisses him so suddenly that Jack almost loses his balance.

*

He tastes like tequila. That’s all Jack gets before they’re not kissing anymore. The room feels quiet and then unforgivably loud the next second, and Alex is flushed and smiling nervously, and Jack is smiling too, not nervous at all.

“Did I tell you I’m in a band?” Alex asks in a rush.

Jack’s brain struggles to keep up. He can’t remember Alex mentioning a band, but he’s also distracted by wanting to kiss Alex again. There’s no understating the power of wanting to kiss someone over failing to clock anything they say. “What?”

“I’m in a band,” Alex says. “Not as a job, just like, for fun.”

“Oh,” says Jack.

“I’m the lead singer,” Alex says, with a flickering look down at Jack’s shirt.

“Oh,” says Jack, because, like, oh. “Can I kiss you again?”

“What, here?” Alex meets his eyes. “With all these people around?”

“You kissed me first,” Jack says. “Let me kiss you and then we can call it even.”

“Okay,” Alex says, and Jack’s kissing him before the word’s really out of his mouth.

And he tastes like tequila and mango and sugar and the color yellow and the sweat of the dance floor and God, it’s good. It’s like kissing a memory, except this memory is still here, not frozen in time, not trapped in an ornate frame. He’s creating a memory that he knows he’ll relive for the rest of his life.

Somehow, though he doesn’t know the end of this chapter, he knows the end of the book.

Alex’s warm palm cradling Jack’s cheek to hold him steady, fingers splayed out like a star; Alex’s other hand grazing skin over the collar of Jack’s shirt. Alex singing Coldplay in Jack’s ear. Alex’s blue jeans and his checkered Vans and his ridiculous One Direction tank top. Alex holding Jack’s hand and calling him honey to get Burly Guy to leave him alone. Grinning as he shoots down guess after guess for the elusive middle name. Laughing at Jack’s stupid dance moves. Knocking back a shot like it’s nothing. Smiling when Jack says they’re going to get married, never moving away, only ever closer.

Alex sitting undisturbed at the bar, ankles crossed, and Jack seeing him from across the room like something out of a goddamn Hallmark movie and just knowing.

He tugs Alex closer but Alex is already pulling away with a smile. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Jack says. He smoothes a hand over a crease in Alex’s shirt and nods. “Taxi’s on me if we go back to your place.”

“Sucker, I was gonna suggest that anyway,” Alex says with a quiet laugh. “You should tell Zack. Don’t wanna just leave him.”

“Don’t worry,” Jack says. “He knows.”

“He knows?”

“Zack and I are brothers in clairvoyance,” Jack says. “How many times do I have to tell you this?”

“I knew you could see the future,” Alex says. “You never told me Zack could, too.”

“Zack can see everyone’s future,” says Jack. “I can only see mine.”

“Yeah? What’s your future look like now?”

Jack filters out several inappropriate comments. It’s hard when Alex is smirking, clearly baiting him. “I told you,” he says. “You, me, vows, rings, the works.”

“Not that future,” Alex says. “I’m talking about the immediate one.”

It takes everything in Jack not to get down on one knee and say so was I. There’s a tilt in Alex’s head, like a dog listening carefully for a familiar sound.

“Honestly?” Jack says, and Alex nods. “I think it’s more fun if we find out together.”

[bystardustt]

CUTE TAGS

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal, more food 

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? yeah, until it hurts

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? my grade 11 history flashcards (I legit have 200 of them)

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: with milk and sugar, coffee: with milk AND A LOT OF SUGAR

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? // yeah my gums show and itsa gross 

6: do you keep plants? nah 

7: do you name your plants? nah 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? journalling/writing 

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yeah, on the bus and everyone thinks I’m crazy 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? I have a lot but like I can’t think of one rn .

12: what’s your favorite planet? pluto, fucking fight me if you say it’s not a planet 

13: what’s something that made you smile today? I think I got full marks on a lab practical but I didn’t even know what were we suppose to do and I still don’t know what were we suppose to do or what was the concept behind it

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? hipster chapter’s store.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! in space, the skin on your feet peel off

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? alfredo anything

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? grey/silver

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. International Baccalaureate program

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? yes! and my emotions, like its hella emo and depressing af

20: what’s your favorite eye color? get me with those green eyes baby 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.  My small blue coach bag, I took it to China once and it got rekt on the plane (and in China in general) .

22: are you a morning person? no

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? watch a movie/tv show/ youtube vid

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no 

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? n/a

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? black keds, stained af, but cute with every outfit

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum

28: sunrise or sunset? set

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? she types with two fingers, only two 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yeah rn, like I got no plans for the future ahhhhhh

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. they chill, i like toed socks, sleeping in socks are for devil worshippers, no, I REALLY like toed socks 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. waking up at 3 am to watch the MAMAs 

33: what’s your fave pastry? STRUDAL, CROISSANT?? ANYTHING IN FRENCH??? JUST ANYTHING??

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? my dad and I were at a store once and I was looking at these huge easter bunnies and it was around my birthday and the next day when I came home from school the easter bunny from the store was on my bed, and it was pink cause that’s my fave colour and it was the one of the purest form of joy I’ve ever experienced, and yes I still have it, it’s still on my bed, and if anyone throws it out I will throw out their passport 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yas and yas

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? red velvet

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I WOULD like to keep it clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! wet socks, when people talk to me when i’m trying to listen to music, myself when I procrastinate, when people don’t listen to me and I have to repeat myself, my cousin’s gross ass hair everywhere on the wash bin, biology 207

39: what color do you wear the most? white 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have gold hoop earrings that my dad made me buy because there was this huge sale on and he felt cheated if he didn’t buy at least something 

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Tim Hortons at this gross building in my university, it’s brown (like 80s aesthetic), it’s fast, it’s cheap, I love it 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? the girl who was also taking the 6:50 bus in the morning

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? reading on my hammock during a warm summer day 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? no but I got nothing else so I still have to go with it

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. organic chemistry got me diene

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? bitter melon

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?  ghosts and demons, yeah kinda 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? // yeas, Lust for Life

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? mooncake boxes

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? my mom, anything Faye Wong

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? lamb sauce located

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? heathers, beetlejuice, pulp fiction, loved them all and want to incorporate their aesthetics into me as a person 

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my own eyes working on the lab report last night

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? silence treatment 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? being open minded and kind 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? don’t tell me what to do 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? vodka aunt is Y, I’m wine mom 

59: what’s your favorite myth? persephone

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?  no

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?  I gave my friend the communist manifesto, I have received a jar of frosting

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? my mom banned juice from my house

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey like my skin 

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? lucy 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?  apple blossoms, peach blossoms, cherry blossoms

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? cozy

68: what’s winter like where you live?  ever heard of hell?

69: what are your favorite board games? CLUE OR SORRY 

70: have you ever used a ouija board? NO

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? like “metal goddess”????? idk what it is in english but we always order it at dim sum or a chinese restaurant and its good 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah I can’t remember shit 

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful 

75: tell us about your pets! my dad overfed all my fish and killed them 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? studying but I’m doing this dumb tag

77: pink or yellow lemonade? “I believe in pink”

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neutral, like they cute

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?  painted my nails while watching the office

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? beige and no

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark like cola, but cola has bubbles that fizz and pop, just like their eyes (am I F Scott Fitzgerald yet?)

82: are/were you good in school? shit man I was so good but then some shit happened and now I’m failing 

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? this one fan art fro Hyuna’s RED

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? “love unconditionally” on left wrist, but I probs never won’t 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? read a bunch for an english class and watchman is my fave

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? one alfred hitchcock movie, one audrey hepburn movie, silence of the lambs, gone with the wind, in the mood for love, 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? the renaissance movement so people don’t look like 2d anymore that was cool 

89: are you close to your parents? eh

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. /SHANGHAI, like it has the most beautiful skyline and like on the other side of the bund there are European style buildings and behind them are these classic chinese streets, and so much history but so modern at the same time omf

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no where

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? screw the pasta just gimme the cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? overnight waves

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend

95: what are your plans for this weekend? study and like do 3 lab reports and an essay 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? idk, aries, slytherin 

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? two weeks ago with my friends, it was fun 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. /anything lana?? groupie love esp

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future, take me away from my present omf 

I tag @flcwerstudies @unbeast @caffenotes @amelia-studies @smoketexture @problematicprocrastinator @heyhomework 

and anyone else who wants to do it! 

(don’t feel obliged to it lol, it took forever for me smh) 

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

8/28/19 8:09pm - Meanwhile, In Real Time (basically all of aug ‘19)

So today I only have one patient for the first time in like half a year. I guess it makes sense since it’s the end of august and insurance policies are starting to roll over. After so many busy weeks of work it’s really exciting though.

And it couldn’t have happened at a better time. For one I’m pretty excited to get writing and catching up on this past year. But for TWO, World of Warcraft Classic just launched this week. I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it. Yknow I never played it before because I was worried how it would eat my life like Runescape did. But Spencer and a bunch of NC Melee peeps wanted me to play so I’m in there. Looks like my obsessions really have cycled in order.

[continued at 11:04pm after putting pts to bed]  Pokemon (first grade), Magic (third grade), Runescape (fourth grade), Halo/Gears (7th-9th), Guitar Hero (8th-10th), Quiz Bowl (11th&12th) , Ultimate Frisbee (12th-soph), League of Legends (soph-senior), Melee (senior-last year). I have a kind of filthy habit of playing so much that it’s debilitating and then finally breaking out of it only to move on to doing the same thing with something else.

Since quitting melee I’ve gotten obsessed with Pokemon and Magic, so it looks like getting into WoW was inevitable. 

Just kidding, an unscheduled 2nd patient showed up and it turns out he’s actually supposed to be here so I’m not QUITE so free as all that, but it’s still not 3 patients, 2 is totally easy for me now.

Lol I took this screenshot when I got in to the office 

as of now I’m all caught up with work and I’ve still got 133 minutes to go, so looks like I have plenty of time to write for a second.

So what do I have to catch up on? well my days have been looking like weds-thurs-fri are always work, saturday I’ll stay up all day doing something, sunday I’m usually sleeping in, Monday I’m usually either playing DnD or chilling playing games, and Tuesday is a chill day until karaoke. 

The past two weekends have been kind of crazy though, so I just wanted to write about them for a minute before I got too far gone. 

Actually, let’s go back to 3 weekends ago. I visited Dars because I needed to, it’s been too long. I meant to write a lot more than I did, but instead I stayed up late into the night watching Andi draw shit on twitch. I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately, mostly trying to collect all my thoughts on what I want to write about, but I definitely miss her and hope she’s doing okay. I ‘accidentally’ responded to a question she asked when she was talking to herself on stream, I hadn’t meant to talk to her at all I just wanted to see her do her thing and reflect on her a little.  Really I wanted to watch her play breath of the wild. I miss us playing that together. Watching her enjoy something I enjoyed so much really made me happy. Anyway, I only bring that up because I tried to tune in again to actually watch her play BotW and found out she blocked me from her channel. I could still watch, which was nice, but I couldn’t say anything. Probably for the best. After watching her for a few hours I unfollowed her channel so I wouldn’t even try anymore.

Now you’re just somebody that I used to know.

I did that song at karaoke last night. I practiced in the bathroom and the car beforehand and was nailing it I thought. But I got up on stage and I was thinking of you and I bombed it. I haven’t bombed a song so hard since the time I tried to sing you I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing when I was in drunk-screaming mode, or the first time I tried to do MakeDamnSure. And those were when I was drunk. This I like just tried to get to the high notes and on stage I just couldn’t. My voice kind of broke. I cleared the crowd. It was humiliating, to be honest. I don’t know if I was tired from playing 12 hours of WoW with spencer yesterday (amazing, btw. I had a ton of fun), or if I was thinking of you too much, or if I was actually just floundering from making the first mistake (which doesn’t quite make sense because I’ve made mistakes and then fixed them easily in plenty of songs before). But it was awful.  I got to hang out with some friends for a bit, sang The Hand That Feeds and did excellently at it, got some good cheers and shit, but I still felt like ass. Went home and played some melee and some more WoW and stayed up until 6am and slept 12 hours lmao.

So I had an avocado for dinner and now here I am. I’ve been doing more fasting days lately where I eat really light. They’re not true fasting days because usually I eat a bunch of nuts or something. But I don’t eat a big meal like I normally do once a day. Also I wanted to go back to Darlin’s because we watched zoolander, and at one point he says “bulimia is a great way to lose pounds before a shoot” and I was like “oh yeah, true.” lol so now if someone makes me eat a bunch of ice cream with them (darlin and jill), then I’ll do it and throw it up after -_-. Not the healthiest but I’ve only done it on like two or three occasions. I’m mostly being good. Only exercising once a week lately though, WoW kinda blew up everything this week and I’ve been hella busy lol. 

Okay so week after Darlin’s, I made some new friends at karaoke that my buddy Skyler introduced me to there. I drove up to Virginia on Saturday to do Quarry Fest that tessa and her boyfriend had planned out on his property. It was fucking phenomenal. Spent the day day drinking and swimming, it was gorgeous out, beautiful people in swimsuits everywhere, made a whole bunch of new friends who loved me because they already loved tessa, saw a handful of old high school friends. I really got strong attraction vibes from my friend Emily, but she was there with a new boyfriend so ah well such a shame for her lmao. Stayed up until like 4 in the morning talking with people around a big bonfire, it was just like a fun old rappahannock field party where everyone knew everyone at least by a removal factor of one. Such a beautiful time. I fucking drunkenly danced my ass off all night while these live musicians and djs were on. Just phish style sway jammed out in the sand, made my legs fucking exhausted lol. Moving in sand is so fucking hard! I’d get a drink, chug it down, spin around drunkenly jam around for a bit, sober up, get a new drink, rinse and repeat lmao. The Diet Dr Pepper and white rum idea later in the night was miserable though. FUCK diet drinks they’re not adequate mixers. holy blegh. plus the rum was hot as balls I need to find a new kind of liquor to keep in my trunk. The best idea I’ve heard from people so far is sake. I loved Tessa’s boyfriend’s family too. The one little brother had the same supreme cheetah print that I had on except he had the boxers, we really hit it off actually. After sleeping in my car for the night I woke up and went skinny dipping for like an hour or so, I spent a lot of the next morning talking to him and his girlfriend, mostly entertaining her with the weird stories that I tell on here. She said I was probably the craziest person she’d ever met, and wished that I lived closer so that she could hook me up with her sister. She said she needed to try someone fun like me out LMAO. Then their family made a huge breakfast at their house and I got to pig out on some lox and chit chat with tessa about shit before heading back to Raleigh.

That’s right, I went there and came back for just a day because I needed to be back the next night for Emo Karaoke LOL. There’s no way I was gonna miss it, it’s only once a month. 

It was the craziest thing though. My friends caitlin and gretchen came to emo karaoke but it hadn’t started yet because of an open mic poetry night, so they split to go to Ruby’s annual No Pants Party and told me to meet up with them if I wanted to. I was the first person to sing, I did The Used and it went fantastically. I met this guy morgan and his girlfriend elizabeth I think, and she emailed me a video of it lol I love it. I also sang backup vocals for him on MakeDamnSure, I was so happy that he asked me, I’ve literally practiced doing the backup singing just in case someone ever did hahaha. But after my song this girl walks up to me and says “did you go to chapel hill? Do you remember who I am?” I look at her and it’s none other than fucking LEXI. Like huge crush in college Lexi. Like written about her at least a handful of times at LEAST Lexi. Like I named my fucking CAR after you Lexi. So I was like “HOLY SHIT YES” oh my god and caught up with her and I’m 90% sure she was there with another guy, but I got to meet her friends and chit chat and I screamed my fucking throat out that night. My voice was already toasty from singing in the car all the way up and back from virginia but after that it was torched lmao. I also did The Used+MCR’s Under Pressure with my friend from there Kenny, got some chick’s number, and the list was full so I dipped after that.

Went to the no pants party and it wasn’t super crazy, but I got some beautiful pics lol. Caitlin helped me tie up my shirt super cute, I wore it as a blouse and as an ascot hahaha. But hanging with them at the no pants party mostly got me to this afterparty at a friend’s place downtown.  I had rum and bought some coke that we threw in the freezer, but instead of mixing the coke and rum me and Jacob had this great idea to mix the rum with freezie pops to see if it was any good. Did like 3 shots testing it out to see if the ratio could work. Mostly it tasted like a bad slushie lol. Went to the porch to smoke a cig and people started passing some coke around so I did a little of that, and started having this long ass conversation with this girl MJ. We hit it off for like literally an hour on the porch at 4 in the morning. We talked about pokemon and tons of nerdy video game shit, and it turns out she had been at karaoke that week, I had already listened to her singing! I got her number and have since tried to hit her up a few times to hang out. She’s always responded to all of my texts IMMEDIATELY. like within the minute fast. It’s weird. But unfortunately either because she’s not actually interested or because she’s truly been too busy, I haven’t been able to meet up with her to do anything. I guess we’ll see if that ever develops, but I think she was really cool. I really hope I at least get to make a pass at her.  After that I brought gretchen back to my place to hang out. Didn’t try to hook up with her or anything, but we just wanted to chill and do some blow that I had leftover and wanted to get rid of. Did some talking about some fucked up shit going on with some of her friends dying, but it was mostly in the context of her wanting to go back to the party to try to find an adderall on the ground when we ran out of shit. At like 8 in the morning we drove around to pick up some shit, but nobody was awake, she gave me half an adderall to try to help me stay up but after I popped it I still took a nap in the car while we waited so I was like yeah nah I’m tapping out. After driving to virginia and back and having two late party nights I was fucking spent and didn’t want to miss my appointment to drop my car off for repairs. Honestly though, I have no fucking idea what Brandon saw in her that made him so coocoo for her. She seems like your typical party hardy everything-sucks kind of girl. I don’t think I’ve heard her say a positive thing about...anything. She’s always shit talking or talking down about life or saying she wants to go somewhere else that’s cooler, or that older parties were more fun or some shit. Meh. Luckily I’m not the one tryna bang her, and Caitlin totally balances her out with how smiley and happy she is when I hang out with them. Her and Jacob are cute as fuck too. 

But I DID end up making it to my appointment. My car is almost done being fixed!!

Then I had a board game night that monday, me and Trent and Steven played some of this train game called snowdonia and I narrowly lost. Steven almost always beats me, that fucker lol. I really respect how smart he is about magic and game theory in general tbh.

Last week there was karaoke and work. At karaoke I found out this really cute smiley girl Hannah (a friend/coworker of my lesbian couple friends) is getting a divorce from her husband (she’s like 24), and so thattt’s pretty interesting. I don’t wanna make moves because she’s wonderful and I don’t want to be a douche, but she’s like... still the happiest person I’ve ever met even in the midst of changing her entire life. I kinda wish I could go on a date with her just to find out more about her lol. Saturday I didn’t sleep so that I could go to my friend Helena’s place for her to dye and cut my hair. I really followed through on wanting it to look like Brad Pitt from Once Upon A Time In Hollywood like I decided when we saw it darlin’s lol. I really wanted to change my hair, I’m kind of sick of having bangs in my face and need to symbolically move on to doing something new. Then saturday afternoon/evening I got drunk as fuckkkk with broscious and irene for their housewarming party. First time getting really drunk with them it was so much fun! We played a drinking game while watching a glassblowing show where we drank every time they said glass or blew, so it was pretttty good hahaha. I probably overdid it with the threesome and trap jokes later with their friends when we got to the bar lol, but they seemed so innocent I had to fuck with them a little hahaha. Fell asleep on the floor of their living room at like 3 in the morning because someone else had dibs on the couch. Woke up at like 7am blegh, found out I lost my house key lol, went back to sleep at my place til noon, then went to play board games with steven trent and reyad again.  After that I went to boxcar to meet up with Maya, and she had brought a bunch of her coworkers and Rianne as usual, so it was a great time. We bounced from boxcar to Rianne’s place, got to drink with Ollie and played this weird frog golf game and we discussed whether Blonde or Channel Orange was the better Frank Ocean album. They ALL were fighting me that Channel Orange was just better in every way, but I still think Blonde is incredible. I offered to take Jill home to her place since she lives nearby, we got some mcdonalds and watched some american dad and had some great sex. and again the next morning, and again in the afternoon. So luckily that’s still working out, I thought it had fallen apart, but I’ll explain more on that later on when I finish playing catchup. I took her back to her car and we got some good ass ramen downtown.

We made tentative plans to hang out again the next day and maybe go thrifting and I spent the rest of monday playing Melee for a couple hours. But I woke up at 9am and started playing WoW with spencer, so when she hit me up that she was getting off work at like 3pm I was in the middle of a 6 hour bingefest playing WoW for the first time in my life. He told me I should keep playing with him so I didn’t fall behind and so I thought about it... and then I did lmao. I said that I was nerding out with my roommate and asked if she wanted to hang out after karaoke. She said yeah definitely but she might go to bed earlier than normal (~3) because she had to work a double. I hit her up at midnight to leave karaoke early after that embarrassment of a performance, but she never responded. I think she said she wanted to hang out so that she could blow me off too, tbh. But jokes on her, I got to play more melee until I could get through the login queue for WoW and got to play for another 3 hours. Perfect.

Though more sex would’ve been nice, for sure. 

Anyway, things are going wonderfully. I’m going to a big concert in raleigh in two weeks. Probably just nerding out this weekend since I mixed up my weekends and didn’t make plans. Helena dyed my hair with highlights to look like brad pitt, but I’m changing it to be totally blonde like Maya and Rianne want instead. They miss my old yellow hair lol and Oliver and everyone I’ve asked did too so I’m gonna try it out again. 

Definitely ready to move forward and try some new things. 

I’ve been thinking about Andi way too much the past two weeks. It sucks. I really want to talk to her. And give her her chair back. So I want to see her. But I know I’m feeling good with everything so really things are better off just moving on I guess. Maybe once I finally write my catchup posts about her I can stop thinking about her. But it’s made me procrastinate a lot, I’m like literally doing anything I can to not write these last handful of catchup posts...

But I promise I will soon. I need to do it. Maybe that’s what I’ll do saturday while I wait for the queue for WoW to thin out lmao. It’s currently 12:06 and I still have an estimated time of 13 minutes after trying to log in at 7:45 lol.

Also tryna cop some supreme clothes tomorrow. Wish me luck, I Really hope I can get this tiger print jacket and hat. Boutta drop a mint lol. Clothes are kinda fun. It’s nice not dressing like a hobo all the time, I guess. Mostly because it’s hot. Once it’s the right temperature to wear pajama pants again you better believvvve I’m gonna just get fancy sweatpants lmfao.

Anyway, queue’s finally done! holy shit yeah it’s only 12:15 Kappa. Gonna go play some WoW love you guys bye <3

[uschickens]

Getting to know you meme

Okay. Okayokayokay. I said I was going to post more, actually engage more, so that requires, you know. Actually posting more. (Plus @momosandlemonsoda has graciously tagged me twice now, with no response from me, and that shall not stand!)

So. That meme thing going around.

Part I

name: Fannishly, I’m uschickens pretty much everywhere. Back in The Olden Times, I used Vix as my first name with uschickens, as in short for Vixen, as in a fox in the henhouse, which, like so many things with me, is so obscure as to only amuse myself.

star sign: Sagittarius, which seems a little ::skeptical headtilt:: at first, until you pair it with my Gemini rising and Virgo moon, and then it becomes a lot more we-know-but-hey-john-mulaney.gif

height: 5'5" (165.1cm)

time: 11:12pm

birthday: every handful of years, it coincides with Thanksgiving, so I get cake AND turkey.

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: Like, currently listening to, or of all time, or or or??? This is a loaded question! Recently, Taemin’s Never Gonna Dance album hooked me hard. My other most-played playlists are called “last of the hardcore troubadours,” “frenzied banjos,” and “forest gods,” so I’m working the alt country/folk pop/whatever Florence and her Machine and Hozier have going on. Oh, and the Sleep No More soundtrack, so 1930s jazz, Hitchcockian strings, and edm all mashed together.

song stuck in your head: not even a song, just the one line from Taemin “we were just two kids/too young and dumb” over and over and over on repeat.

last movie you watched: I...have not watched a movie in a long, long time. Possibly a Knives Out rewatch? It Part Two? No, all my media consumption time lately has been devoted to...

last show you binged: All Things Tomb. I started watching reboot in, hmmm, late October? Early November? And with very few exceptions, various dmbj adaptions have been ALL I watched since then. It’s...kind of a problem. It goes in fits and starts, not a true binge since reboot, except for some blocking-out-the-outside-world plunges into Ultimate Note in early January. Reboot is the Tomb of My Heart, with Sha Hai a microscopically close second. Chen Minghao is my one! true! Pangzi, with surfer!Pangzi from tlt2 being a worthy predecessor. I am mostly here for post-Bronze Gate Wu Xies, and I vastly prefer the more realistic fighting style of reboot!Xiaoge than emo!XG, mathnerd!XG, or dancer!XG. But this was supposed to be about a binge, not my Standard Tomb Opinions Dissertation.

when you created your blog: 2010? There was a brief period when apparently I used tumblr for...interior design porn?? Rather than porn porn??? I quickly learned my lesson.

the last thing you googled: firstly, that would be the last thing I duckduckgoed, if we’re being strictly accurate, but I digress. It was [Richard Diebenkorn Guggenheim], part of a long-running conversation with my dad, who is a landscape painter currently going through an abstract expressionism phase. It’s getting wild up in here, folks.

other blogs: as I said, uschickens everywhere, by which I mean Twitter and dreamwidth and ao3.

why i chose my url: back in The Early Days of Livejournal, I lurked even more than I do now, so when I finally took the plunge, I couldn’t resist going with a name that really captured my inner Do Not Perceive Me, crossed with big band music and Louis Jordan. Ergo my tag line was “ain’t nobody here but... [us chickens]”.

how many people are you following: fuck if I know

how many followers do you have: fuck if I care

average hours of sleep: NOT. ENOUGH. But better than it used to be; see also my Twitter for some of the more bizarre paths my mind goes down when I’m in the middle of a juicy bit of insomnia.

lucky numbers: 3

instruments: a couple decades of piano and a solid eight months of French horn.

what i’m currently wearing: the dress I wore to work over pajama bottoms. I’m getting ready for bed, I swear. Halfway there!

dream job: ::hollow laughter:: I feel I would be excellent at being independently wealthy, at which point all my time would be devoted to travel, food, and writing about/photographing that travel and food, plus whatever experimental theater/circus/dance performances I happened to run across. But I shudder to think of actually relying on that sort of writing/photography to earn my keep, because there’s no faster way to kill my joy in a thing than to make it an obligation. Is “dilettante” still a thing? I’d be very good at that.

dream trip: do you want that chronologically or alphabetically? I have spreadsheets! I *will* be going to Singapore once all this ::gestures vaguely at the world:: sorts itself out. There’s a weeklong food tour in Mexico City for which I have lust in my heart. I want to rent a beachside with a million bedrooms for a month and just have friends show up for as much or as little of that month as they want. When I want true escapism, I look at the Aman hotel website, pick a location at random, and decide which suite I would like for a) myself, solo, b) myself with family, c) myself with friends and d) whichever characters currently live in my brain.

fave food: ha, I couldn’t pick a favorite band, and you want me to pick a favorite FOOD? Gumbo. Spaghetti and meatballs (but only good ones). Georgian khachapuri and aubergine satsivi. Fresh strawberries and cream.

top three fictional universe you’d like to live in: something written by Diana Wynne Jones, because it’s always a good mix of fantastic and pragmatic, with fundamentally decent people. Probably Howl and Sophie’s neck of the woods. Star Wars, because fuck it I want a lightsaber. And faster than light space travel. And I can’t think of a third offhand, but something with magic. Because if you’re going fictional, go big fictional or go home.

Part II

last song: the moody acoustic version of the Guardian theme song.

last movie last stream last podcast: We’ve already talked movies, and Vix Does Not Stream, so let’s go to the only thing that means my laundry gets folded in a timely manner - podcasts. I would be remiss in not mentioning the primary ‘castular joy in my life, the I Saw What You Did pod, which is two fortysomething women of color talking nerdily about two movies based on a theme each week. You’ve probably never seen most of these movies, and it doesn’t matter in the slightest. They themselves are a delight, and it’s exactly the sort of chewy discussion over media that I adore, especially because it is not done in an exclusionary, clerk-at-that-one-independent-video-store-who-always-seemed-to-be-sneering-at-your-choices way. Highly recommended. But, uh, the one I really should talk about is All About Agatha, a very good podcast reading and ranking all of Agatha Christie’s novels in order, because it is an excellent segue into...

currently reading: ...the fact that I am a solid 80% of the way through all of Agatha Christie’s novels in audiobook. In, like, the last two months. I haven’t read a book with my eyeballs since ::gestures vaguely at the world again:: (wait, no, I made it through the dmbj novels, for better or for worse), as reading with my eyes seems to be reserved for fic these days. But I am plowing through these audiobooks like it’s a part-time job. What even is life if not narrated by Hugh Fraser at this point? I’m not sure if I recommend the endeavor or not, but I and my knitting and my mystery audiobooks will be over here getting our Miss Marple on as long as possible. (For the record, the audiobooks have edited out some but not all of the egregious bits of racism but left most of the anti-Semitism. So, uh, there’s that.)

currently watching: Mystic Nine, my last full Tomb series. The only I’m not going into preemptive withdrawal is the presence of several side stories on iqiyi with English subtitles. Naturally not the ones I really want (heeeey, Liu Sang vs haunted paint can, plus whatever the hell is going on with Hei Xiazi from last month), but needs must. I suppose after that, I’m back to a reboot rewatch, for fic research purposes, if nothing else. I mean, I suppose I could watch a non-dmbj property? Like the backlog of recommendations I’ve been collecting?? Sounds fake, but okay.

what is antipoetry to you: I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s another form of poetry. Something something even by rebelling against the form one is inherently bound by its concepts, especially when one tries to define oneself in opposition to something one cannot help but be shaped by it blah blah.

currently craving: I could say something existential about what the pandemic has made me yearn for (live! theater! with! friends!), or I could talk about the roast pork from Big Wong’s that I’m seriously contemplating for lunch tomorrow, but what I want most right now is for the goddamn construction crew that dug a hole in the road right outside my window starting at 10pm would finish and go away ASAP.