#I’ve been looking up every location based reference in these books and lord

[her-glitteringprime]

if I told my 17/18/19 year old self that at 22 I would be living in essentially the exact place that The Raven Cycle was based on I think I would have fainted bc what kind of “humans were so circular” “excelsior “strange constellation” “unguibus et rostro” full circle bullshit is that

[galadhremmin]

We have derived Caranthir liking the Dwarves (and vice versa) because apparently, Finrod succeeds in every field Caranthir fails, and at this point it's clear this derives from the in-universe writer of the Silm and his own biases. Think about it: "Dark Finwë" , a grumpy, prejudiced lordling, and "Hair Champion", most handsome, noble king, have met with the same people!! Yet the king of the first secret kingdom is everyone's friend, but the prince that trades with them regularly is not... seems sus.

Hence, Caranthir is friends with the Dwarves. (But that is just an interpretation, so you're free to think what you wish, I just have several opinions on in-universe prejudice and the almighty narrative.)

I think that 'we' might actually have been Dawn Felagund years ago. Maybe this reading existed even before that, but I doubt that-- she's been very influential in silm fandom and was long before tumblr was much of a thing. https://dawnfelagund.com/caranthir-the-slandered

I wouldn't say it's 'clear' that what amounts to Caranthir's entire documented personality derives from the bias of the in-universe narrator, though as you can see from Dawn's writing it's a reading you can argue for. There are a number of different approaches you can take to the Silm and its biases anyway. One of the few times when it's absolutely clear the text isn't telling the entire story is when it talks about the Easterlings. I've posted about this before but the recorded names are, uhh.... the ones to betray the elves are unlikely to actually have been named things like 'ugly lord' and 'ugly beard.' 'Dark Finwe' on the other hand is a documented reference to his haircolour being dark like Finwe's own; hardly a negative judgement!

I personally think Caranthir can be exactly as ill-tempered and prejudiced as the Silm paints him without becoming an unsympathetic character. If a writer cannot make a moody, deeply prejudiced man an interesting character that is a failure as a writer; there are after all enough books who manage exactly that. That is not to say choosing not to write him that way is a failure (obviously not), but it's not necessary in order to make a reader feel for him at all.

Just going by the text, I think it actually might make for a more interesting narrative to explore in fic to me. Because he does change his mind about something, and at a very specific moment; when he meets the Haladin. That is much less dramatic if he secretly been as nice and popular as Finrod, and got along with everyone all the time already. He's been raised by Fëanor, who said things like 'No other race shall oust us!' and rallied the Noldor not motivated enough by vengeance for Finwë alone by playing on their deep-seated fear of being replaced by the Secondborn. Very unlikely that had no impact. At best it has made him uninterested in humans in his area (while they're not much of a threat to ruling instead of the elves anyway). The text says they paid them no heed.

And yet! Caranthir sees how brave Haleth and her people are. He 'does her great honour.' He changes his mind and offers them lands. His tragedy to me is not that of a slandered figure, but of this deeply, deeply prejudiced person raised to distrust the motivations of human beings -- who overcomes those beliefs, offers friendship, is rejected! then extends that same trust to the Easterlings anyway... and it's those specific Easterlings, not the ones who ally with his brothers-- who betray them all. And cause the disastrous ending of the Nirnaeth. It's the 'to evil end shall all things turn that they begin well' part of the curse hitting him in the least fair way possible. Someone finally changes for the better, and the outcome is treason and destruction.

That is a very good character arc to me, actually. His aesthetics-based scorn for the Dwarves is reprehensible but strikes me as deeply Elvish, and part of his prejudices. Naugrim is too unflattering a name for them for it not to be common. His temper-- well why can't he have one? Sure there's only one recorded instance -- but that's imo because there are hardly any conversations in the Silm! Anyway I like some people with tempers well enough. Personally I think people are missing out on opiniated grouches.

Obviously the biased anti-Feanorian Pengolodh reading is a nice one, and I have enjoyed a lot of stories written based it. But it's not at all a reading that is necessary for me to read Caranthir as a flawed but sympathetic character. He can have serious faults and still, ultimately, be someone I feel for.

What I was asking though was if I overlooked any canon evidence of Caranthir being particularly, personally fond of the Dwarves; and it seems I did not. Also; there is room for Caranthir growing to like the Dwarves over centuries without an anti-Feanorian bias reading this strong, there is simply no evidence for friendship in the rather barebones narrative (I'm not interested atm because it's wildly overdone to me & I like variety).

That said, in my opinion making Caranthir the hidden, slandered Feanorian Finrod equivalent with a dash of Curufin's Dwarf affection is not as enjoyable as simply working with what little canon character is actually there. Because there is one (and it's not the greedy tax collector of some fanon depictions either imo)

1. To start with, wrt Caranthir as the anti-Finrod, I don't think it works that well. Sure sure dark/light, open/prejudiced, repressed/shouty, but different motivations, different locations, plus they meet very different peoples even if both are Edain-- besides, Caranthir's own older brothers do successfully ally with the Easterlings without betrayal, while Curufin (much more so than Finrod! no Khuzdul for Finrod!) is the Dwarves' Friend(tm). Also, a flawed Finrod already exists. That's just the regular edition. He has his own faults and (very different) tragic arc.

If Finrod never seems to have strong prejudices to overcome, and if he's not confrontational (which... look he's a diplomat. Make of that what you will. Pretty awkward there in Doriath, buddy!) he does have trouble facing his own complicity (he wanted to sail those ships despite the murders) until Sauron beats him to death with it. He leaves Valinor with the idea of ruling but he has to give up the crown. He's ambitious, he seems emotionally repressed, he's.. possibly paying the greater Dwarves to drive the Petty Dwarves out of their ancestral home to build a city? Oops. Depending on the version you go with in that case, of course; there's also ones where he's free of the blame of that one. Not of wanting to sail those ships and being uneasy with the guilt wrt wanting to do so despite their being stolen and murdered for though. No he doesn't kill; but he wants to use the result of it anyway, and to make it worse he is actually half Telerin.

There's also (to be fair, only for sure after the disaster of the Sudden Flame because that's the recorded instance) his guards killing random innocent trespassers to keep his kingdom hidden -- yes, that's right there in Silm, yes he's still King at the time. Beren has to wave that ring. People just seem to miss that he'd be killed without it somehow.

I think it's just too easy to reduce him to the golden perfect opposite of Caranthir. Yes he's described more positively; he's also just mentioned more because unlike Caranthir he rules an actual kingdom, the greatest and richest in Beleriand in fact; and does things that have a lot of very longterm effects, like helping B&L steal a Silmaril. They don't 'meet the same people' anyway -- the Haladin have a different culture from the Beorians which contributes to their reaction to Caranthir (and iirc their later fate).

Sidenote: Dawn's essay attributes the Green Elves helping the Feanorians at Amon Ereb to Caranthir's diplomatic skills; but why not to those of Amras or Amrod? This is the quote; 'Caranthir fled and joined the remnant of his people to the scattered folk of the hunters, Amrod and Amras, and they retreated and passed Ramdal in the south. Upon Amon Ereb they maintained a watch and some strength of war, and they had aid of the Green-elves' -- nothing here indicates it was Caranthir who got them that aid. In fact A&A are the hunters, i.e. more likely to have roamed in various forests where they would have encountered Green Elves, imo.

There's also the very desperate times to consider in which this aid takes place. This is just post Sudden Flame, and even if the Green Elves didn't like Caranthir they probably liked him better than Morgoth. Also, speaking of cosmopolitans, Maedhros allies with, yes, Dwarves (Azaghal), Grey elves, Easterlings (and you might say: Fingolfinians); even part of the remaining people of Dorthonion rally to Himring post sudden flame (that means Edain and Arafinwean followers in Himring, at least for a time), and he manages to be friendly with Felagund despite calling him a badger. ;)

Finrod is not the only other leader to forge diverse alliances, and though B&L ends happily his people mostly do not. Caranthir's not much like Finrod in any way. Not in motivations, temperament, tragic arc. That's fine. No hidden kingdom for a dragon to eat either. Finrod could probably do with being a little less like Finrod sometimes, though he's well-intentioned and likable. Caranthir loves to shout and isn't sneaky. Good for him.

2. Curufin also already exists. His love for Dwarves is one of his defining and redeeming characteristics and boy does he need them. He's daddy's favourite, a sneaky overambitious bitchy bastard who is also a talented smith and linguist, and truly considered a Dwarf friend, which is apparently exceptional. He's quite flawed; tries to help Celegorm force a political marriage, laughs with a bruised mouth, seeming to lose his mind while attempting and failing murder after first losing his own stronghold and then the city he tried to take from his cousin. He's just... a personality. Mostly a bad one! You can feel for him though, because he seems like an utter mess. Many 'i would love to study you' feelings on my part. Would hate for him to be real but also I'd pay to be his therapist.

3. And then finally there's Canon Caranthir. A difficult, prejudiced person who despite that (which doesn't at all have to mean there is no despite, the despite is what makes it juicy)

- seems to be responsible for re-establishing (large scale?) trade with the Dwarves, whatever he might think of them (and they of him) to their mutual benefit. I don't think he's greedy either. It seems like a mutually profitable situation. Access to Dwarvish goods seems pretty vital to Beleriand, and facilitating trade is a real service.

As someone pointed out in the replies, the Silm does mention Dwarvish companies travelling east to Nan Elmoth and menegroth various times, but quote wrt Caranthir says 'Caranthir’s people came upon the Dwarves, who after the onslaught of Morgoth and the coming of the Noldor had ceased their traffic into Beleriand' and 'when the Dwarves began again to journey into Beleriand.'

They stopped at some point and Caranthir's people made it happen again.

- which means he's practical. He seems like he's good at organising, and setting his own feelings aside if necessary despite his prejudice and temper (which is an achievement it wouldn't be without his, hm, everything). Also he and his people as well as the Dwarves work together well because ''either people loved skill and were eager to learn,' despite their (initial?) mutual dislike. Those aren't bad characteristics; seems like it was an exchange of skill as well as goods and possibly providing safe travel opportunities.

I don't like the 'greedy Caranthir' fanon and don't think it is even that easy support entirely with canon. 'They had of it great profit,' the text says-- both Caranthir and the Dwarves. They exchanged skills and knowledge and Caranthir seems to have helped them start trading in Beleriand again. That's hardly Scrooge Mcduck.

- Another thing we can say about canonthir (lol) is that he apparently attaches a lot of value to aesthetics (was he a visual artist? is a he a sculptor like Nerdanel? WORSE: AN ART CRITIC?! Feanorian art critic is truly nightmare fuel) and that's why he dislikes Dwarves (of all things...). Either way points to 'aesthetics' as something apparently important to Caranthir. Which makes sense given who his parents are. What is interesting to me is that this apparently DOESN'T matter to Curufin, who is a lot like Feanor in most things. That's interesting!

I've never, never seen this but I think it would be very funny to attribute his aesthetic prejudices to Nerdanel. I love her; but why should her opinions be perfect? I know she wasn't considered beautiful herself, but she's an artist. She's got to have had some strong opinions on aesthetics anyway. I doubt it's the beards; Mahtan had one as well. And 'stunted'...at least some of this comes down to the Elvish obsession with height yet again. Hm.

- eventually Caranthir overcomes what have to be some very deeply held beliefs about human beings and their place in the world, and offers what for all intents and purposes looks like real friendship, not the ruling over Men Feanor seems to have had in mind at best. He's capable of real change!

Anyway his character works just fine to me from canon, and what he achieves and the ways in which he fails are more interesting that way rather-- neither slandered Feanorian Finrod 2.0 nor Curufin 'Dwarf Fan' Feanorion without the sneakiness and murder attempts pack the same punch as a stupidly prejudiced grouchy man doing his best anyway for centuries in this stupid ugly cursed land, eventually changing for the better, opening up-- and being brutally punished for it by the Doom.

Dammit. I hope there's therapy in the Everlasting Darkness.

hm a bit long but that's what I get for trying to gather my thoughts wrt why after considering it a bit transferring Curufin's love for Dwarves to Caranthir is a bit boring to me personally. Though there are still stories that still do it very well.

[daverygalskisbff]

Pidge & Lance friendship/sibling dynamic headcanons?

hi! thank you sm for asking this!! i didn't think I'd be able to come up with anything but it was surprisingly super fun to do, I really liked writing this. I'm sorry it took so long to get out tho, I've had to spend like 90% of my time on the yearbook recently and i couldnt really do much else :/. but the yearbook is now finished and so is this hc list! i hope you enjoy it :)

let us begin 

Lance and Pidge! 

they didn't actually become friends until after the whole voltron debacle started 

we saw that lance had tried to befriend pidge back at the garrison, but (obviously) she had never been interested

like, at all 

so lance just kind of assumed she didn't like him and gave up after a while 

they're mostly, like, acquaintances, for the first few weeks of joining voltron - it takes pidge a little while to warm up to lance bc she thinks he's just an annoying party-boy, and lance thinks pidge is kind of full of herself

once they realise how much they have in common, though… 

all hell breaks loose. more or less. 

they play a lot of video games together

at first they only have killbot phantasm one, so they give themselves new rules and "multitask levels" to make it more interesting after they both inevitably master the game 

this usually involves having to defeat levels by themselves while the other person throws things at them 

the two of them also make sure to spend at least an hour every space mall-visit searching for new games, and pidge likes to code things for them to play when they run out  

lance has a list of nicknames for all of their teammates, but he makes a point to have some variety in his pidge names for the different occasions that he uses them in 

this list includes but is not limited to: pidgey/pidgeon (self explanatory), pea (short joke and green joke wrapped in one), birdie (for when he's trying to be nice), and stripe (after the evil gremlin in the movie gremlins)

pidge isn't a big fan of music, but she hates to work in silence, so lance will come hang out with her while she works and just talk about whatever

she doesn't fully listen most of the time, but lance doesn't mind because he never really talks about anything important 

their other teammates aren't exactly used to this dynamic, tho 

keith, staring at lance as he explains in detail the "sith lord jar jar binks" theory: how do you… focus? with him doing this? 

pidge: it's kinda like a white noise machine. I just tune him out

lance: first of all, racist, second of all- 

pidge also uses lance as her main source of ideas for low-stakes projects to work on on the side 

she even lets him help her make them, a privilege gifted to absolutely no one else (except hunk, but lance maintains that he doesn't count bc he's an engineer and makes stuff anyways) 

so far, they have made a (semi) functioning hoverboard, lightsabers (they can't hurt people, tho, much to pidge's disappointment), and a grappling hook

their most recent project is trying to figure out how to recreate spider-man's web shooters 

lance: i need to be spider-man, pidge. i was born to be spider-man. i can feel it. 

pidge: y'know lance that's actually super interesting, because I distinctly remember that spider-man actually made his own web shooters, he didn't just sit on the counter and watch as his friend did all the work 

lance: …

pidge's laptop has a bunch of kinds of entertainment downloaded onto it - music, movies, like three tv shows - and once lance learns this he refuses to let it go until he gets her to agree to watch something with him

one of the shows she has just so happens to be criminal minds. lance clings to this like his life depends on it 

lance, over comms: hey baby girl i need you to work me some magic 

pidge, trying to hack into a galra base: leandro martin mcclain I swear to god I am going to release your location to every sentry on this ship and I am going to watch them kill you over these security cameras and I am going to laugh 

needless to say, they make fun of eachother a lot 

every day. about everything. 

lance, dropping a spoon on the floor at breakfast: :/

pidge: lmao look at you. outstanding coordination. they really should've taught you how to juggle at clown school 

lance: first of all fuck you, second of all it was called performer's camp and i bet they wouldn't even let you in

in true sibling fashion, they never let eachother forget anything embarrassing. no matter what. 

pidge: (is quiet for more than three minutes) 

lance: hey remember that time at the garrison when a pretty girl asked if she could borrow a pencil and you panicked and said you didn't have any because you can't spell

pidge: I'm telling shiro on you that was one time- 

however, despite all of their teasing, they really do care about each other a lot

pidge is the first to hug lance when he steps out of the healing pods, and lance will bend over backwards to cheer pidge up on a bad day 

sometimes literally. never tell your found family siblings that you're a trained acrobat, kids.

lance organises little sleepovers with allura for days when pidge is feeling particularly dysphoric, so they can do traditionally "girly" things like paint their nails and put on makeup 

pidge doesn't usually do that sort of thing on a regular day, so it's kind of like a nice reminder that she's allowed to be feminine if she wants to be

originally a rule of these sleepovers was that everyone had to do one thing that pidge asked for before the night ended, but they had to scrap that rule after… complications, in one of lance's dares 

(in defense of allura, it had been over 10,000 years since she had her ears pierced, and it's not like she could see what the (professional) beautician was doing at the time, so really the fact lance ended up in a healing pod with an ear infection wasn't even her fault. the piercings do suit him, tho, so she maintains she did a very good job regardless)

the three of them usually end up cuddling in a little pile when they finally go to sleep 

lance has a sixth sense about knowing which bodily function pidge is neglecting at any given time 

he calls it his Big Brother Eye, and only realised he had inadvertently made a book reference when shiro praised him for his culture 

lance: big brother sees everything, pidgeon

shiro: oh, you've read 1984, lance? 

lance: um. is that like an album or something. 

anyways, lance tends to make frequent stops to pidge's room and/or lab to remind her to eat, drink, sleep, etc. sometimes all three at once but only in emergencies. 

pidge rarely actually wants to take a break, tho, so lance channels his best "my sister had kids when i was ten and i have been bargaining with small children for almost a decade" voice to convince her to leave 

lance: okay birdie, i know the coffee tastes good, but y'know what would taste even better? a sandwich. maybe even some ice cream. you feel like ice cream today kiddo? 

pidge, hopped up on three days of no sleep and expired space coffee coran thought it would be safe to give her: (stares directly into lance's eyes) where are you

lance and pidge both get the most homesick out of the team, so sometimes they'll just chill together in silence for a while. lance reminds pidge of her brother, and pidge reminds lance of one of his sisters, so their company is like an extra bit of comfort. they help each other a lot when it gets really difficult 

my askbox is still very much open for requests, btw, so if anyone has any ideas feel free to send them in!

[timberwolf-wwe-marvel]

Home is in the Stars- Chapter 2

Chapter Summary:  After two years, Hawkeye helps Daniel train with a bow, providing arrows.  Not to mention learning the name of his species when Rocket nearly shot him.  Widow threatened to skin him alive, so the Guardians don't visit Earth unless necessary.  Fury was also upset, but Daniel has earned an all-access pass after proper SHIELD training and learning about Pym particles from Hope and Scott.  Tony has taught him electronic communication, his words: “A data transaction between two locations, hacking into the first location can help you locate the receiving location.”  He had kept that statement in mind when he sent a signal from the Guardians ship; something had responded.  He tried telling Groot but got nowhere by talking with him, and no one was interested in speaking with him. 

Prologue Chapter 1

During the second year after being saved from Red Skull, Daniel has taken up archery, with Clint as his teacher.  “You need to relax your muscles; this isn’t ax-throwing with Thor.”  Clint is currently eating the peanut butter from the jar; Hulk will not be happy.  Daniel nocks an arrow back, pulling the string; he lets go.  Dead center, just off by two inches, “Not bad, let me check.”  

Every day for five hours, they practice archery, much to Caps’ annoyance; since he wants to teach Daniel combat.  Clint’s retort, “I never get to train anyone; let me train him first.”  Cap relents, allowing Daniel to rest his muscles for an hour before he trains with Cap.  Speak of the devil; Cap walks in with two unknown individuals.  “Well, if it isn’t Scott, been some time, how’s about you and me have a go-around,” Clint challenges.

At the end on one won, both having either surrender or otherwise; Daniel watching the entire thing.  Standing beside him are Captain America, Captain Marvel, or both refer to each other; Army and Air Force.  Marvel laughs as Clint stumbles when Scott shrinks, only to get punched in the jaw when Scott grows.  “Man, this is way funnier than when I took on an entire fleet of galra cruisers.”

The word ‘galra’ piques Daniels’ interest; America nudges her elbow.  “Not so loud, he doesn’t know yet, plus Tony wants to keep it that way.”  At the mention of Tony, Daniel looks at his watch.  “Damn, sorry Caps’, I need to chat with Tony,” Daniel exits, chuckling when Clint swears.  Entering the elevator, Daniel pulls out his phone, writing the word ‘galra’ down, before pocketing his phone.

“Hey Tony, I have a question.” Entering the lab, Daniel looks around, spotting Tony building a new set of armor.  “What’s up, Danno?”  The nickname felt wrong, but Daniel didn’t say anything.  “I came to ask a question, but first,”  Daniel falls silent, he gets noticed.  “Yeah, kid?

What’s up, cat got your tongue?” Tony jokes, but it doesn’t have much effect on the young man before him.  “Do, do you know who my parents are or where they might be?”  The question catches Tony off guard, startling him even; Tony coughs.  “Sorry kid, we found you just outside of Berlin, in an old HYDRA base. 

No birth records or anything, but hey,”  Daniel glances up, “you have us.  That’s good, right?”  Daniel glances away from him, spotting a hologram of a graphing table.  “Whoa, what is that?”  Tony follows his gaze, a smirk on his face, “That’s a form of electronic communication, sort of like texting, but on a larger scale.

Daniel doesn’t pay attention, eyes remaining on the fluctuating pixel graph. “The proper definition is a data transaction between two locations; hacking into the first location can help you locate the receiving location.  It is fascinating; that’s how I’ve been tracking down Ultron.  I wrote an entire book on it; I can give you a copy of it if you’d like?”  Tony looks back to Daniel, his own eyes widening; yellow slowly replaces the white cornea in his eyes.

The building shakes, startling the two individuals; both head up to the balcony.  Resting on the terrace is the Guardians ship; Star-lord is speaking with both Caps at the moment.  A raccoon is perching on an individual made of lumber, checking over the gun in its paws.  It pauses, sniffing the air; out of nowhere, Daniel is on the ground, gun aimed in his face.  “Why is a galra here, and what’s with a crummy disguise?”

Widow knocks the raccoon off using her batons, “Get on him again, and I’ll skin you alive.”  The raccoon snarls at Widow, only for one of the others to step in his way.  “Enough, both of you.  Now, what is it you need, Star-lord?”  Captain America asks; Daniel slowly stands up, heading back inside.

While the two teams are talking downstairs, Daniel is sitting in his room.  Standing up, he enters his bathroom, stopping in front of a mirror.  “JARVIS, cut all audio and visual from this room, please.”  Daniel closes his eyes he concentrates; he tries to imagine what a galra would look like.  His body tries to shift like Agent Russell; he screams as a jolt of electricity courses through him.  

He drops to his hands and knees, tears pricking in his eyes.  ‘I have to figure what or who I am.’  Standing up, Daniel grabs a tracking meter, exiting his room.  Passing the living room, no one acknowledges him; the raccoon is even okay.  He exits out to the balcony, entering the ship.

He spots the console with a bright dot illuminating on the radar.  Quickly, Daniel hacks into the panel, and the dot soon appears on his tracker.  He exits the ship, heading back to his room, ignoring the conversation.  He quickly packs a bag full of clothes, toiletries, spare shoes, and his phone.  ‘Just need a ticket to Colorado.  Then I’ll be set.’  

A knock earns his attention, “Just a minute.”  Stuffing the bag under his bed, Daniel opens the door.  Steve is standing on the other side; with him is Tony.  “Daniel, we’ll be going on an off-planet mission with the Guardians, but don't worry.  Panther and some others will be here, okay?”

Daniel nods; he then holds out his hand, “In case we get hungry.”  Sighing, Tony rests the card in Daniels’ hand, “Just for emergencies only, nothing unimportant, okay?”  Nodding again, Daniel closes the door, not saying much else.  Daniel finishes packing, and then he hears the ship fly off.  ‘Alright, now what?’

[apothecarinomicon]

Spring week 3, part 1

I felt much better this morning. I suppose whatever sickness fairy visions impart is strictly transient—or maybe dealing with reagents has given me a good immune system. 

When I went outside, I found that I’d somehow managed to plant the foxsocks in the garden. I don’t know how I could have done it in my feverish state and I certainly don’t remember it, but there it is. The foxsocks seem to be thriving already, or at least to have a solid foothold. As I’d hoped, they should be reliably available from here on out.

As I stood there, sleepily puzzling over the garden, I heard a screech from above. Looking up, I saw what at first appeared to be a large bird circling down towards the ground. When she landed, though, I saw she was a woman with wings instead of arms, talons instead of legs, and a feathered tail, wearing a khaki uniform—a postal harpy. She greeted me while balancing on one leg and asked me to confirm my name. I told her and she introduced herself as Liùsaidh. She indicated I ought to retrieve my mail from her talon (it’s polite to wait for their permission). She asked if I might be sticking around and I said I thought I was. She said she’d see me next time I got mail and flew off.

What she’d brought was a letter, with a return address listed as “The Gleoclas J. Ledgerwood Muſeum of Magicke.” It was a single handwritten (actually, impressively calligraphed) page. The spelling and grammar was, shall we say, characteristic. It’s easier to just stick the letter in between the pages than copy it down, so that’s what I’ll do.

To whom it may concern:

It has come to our attentionne at The Friends of The Gleoclas J. Ledgerwood Muſeum of Magicke that ye are a practicing vvitch reſiding in the hamlet of Greanmoore. We would like to congratulate ye on your appointmente and hope you find the positionne both fulfilling and rewarding. We had brief correspondence with your predeceſsor and were glad to learn of yovr presence.

The Gleoclas J. Ledgerwood Muſeum of Magicke is among the premiere magical muſeums in northweſternne High Rannoc. It has one of the moſte exhauſtive collections of magical materials, svbſtances, and hiſtories native to High Rannoc in the vvorld. Academicks, travelers, and school field trips regularly reference and reſearch the Muſeum’s collections in their purſuit of more compleat knowledge.

As The Muſeum of Magicke does not have a repreſentative in Greanmoore or the surrounding areas, we have a requeſte to make of ye if you are willing to fulfill it. We pride ourſelves on the compleatneſs of our Magickal Components collectionne, but we are miſsing many of the species native to Greanmoore and its svrrounding locations. We humbly ask that ye help vs remedy this deficiency. If you are willing to do so, we woulde requeſt that ye send one of each magickal componente available in the area to the Muſeum, at the returnne addreſs listed above. Should you do so, ye will receive compenſationne.

We hope ye will partner with vs in this endeavor. Your contributionne to societal knowledge shall be greatly appreciated by generationnes of reſearchers, thinkers, and touriſts.

Eagerly avvaiting your reſponſe,

The Friends of The Gleoclas J. Ledgerwood Muſeum of Magicke

[A plain text accessible version of this letter is available here.]

Obviously, the spelling is horrendous. This might have been forgivable a few decades ago, but the shape of the ‘s’ (that is, it not being that odd ‘f’ looking thing sometimes) and the distinction between ‘u,’ ‘v,’ and ‘w’ have been standardized since before I was born. Not to mention, the Ledgerwood Museum is associated with the University of Arcbridge—so there must be someone there who knows better.

The thing is, for a long time the only people who could write were those who received higher education, so the vast majority of documents that exist throughout history have to do with academia. So, even as reading and writing became more accessible and spelling and grammar more standardized, that outdated irregular styling retroactively became associated with education, with decorum, with genius.

I’ve never really had much respect for that kind of posturing—I think that if you’re brilliant the content of your writing ought to speak for itself. You shouldn’t have to so explicitly climb on the shoulders of those who came before you, especially not by intentionally making the mistakes they made or using the outdated styles they used.

I sent back a letter inquiring about the specifics of compensation along with a sample of my foxsocks.

I’m going to the library.

 ────⊱⁜⊰──── 

The Greenmoor Public Library is near the center of town, not quite in the square but on Market Street directly off of it. It has some interesting architecture: it looks as if it was originally three separate buildings the size of single-family houses, that were all connected up at a later date by a circular addition between them so that the final building looks like a cog with three spokes. Each section of it is made up of a different material—exposed stone, lime render, and brick for the original houses, and cement for the central cylinder—but it all works together in a quirky, oddball way.

There are no internal walls in the library—even where there must have been external walls in the original houses. They must have knocked them down (I don’t envy that job). Every wall is lined with bookshelves from floor to ceiling, and in each of the spokes there are many close-set freestanding shelves besides, with only narrow aisles left between. At the center of the center is a circular desk, and around this are scattered tables with benches and clusters of armchairs for convenience of reading and research.

The library is owned and run by Donella and Saundra Glasford, an older couple. Saundra is actually the schoolteacher, but she helps with reshelving and organization on weekends. I know this because Donella explained it to me in detail. As soon as I walked in the door she stood from behind (within?) the circular desk and approached me, insisting that she give me a tour of the library. In addition to a survey of the entire space and what kinds of books it contained, this ‘tour’ involved a hefty amount of insight into the daily lives and routines of the Glasford family. 

They have a kid named Muiredach, who’s very interested in ancient things at the moment—giant skeletons and the like. Donella has lived here her entire life but Saundra moved here forty years ago. Saundra’s expertise is in thaumatology (specifically thaumatozoology, the study of magical animals), in which she has a degree. Meanwhile, Donella has extensive knowledge of literary and epistemological history, though she received no formal schooling past twelve.

After she finished showing me all the different sections and layouts of the library, Donella told me I should feel free to poke around as much as I wanted. She added that I wouldn’t find any secret passages or hidden rooms, and that they had nothing to hide.

I hadn’t realized before she said that what this was all about.

I told her that the rumors weren’t true, that I wasn’t some Government spy or anything like that (I heard Saundra mumble something like “well you’d also deny it if you were a clype, wouldn’t you?”). Donella quickly assured me that she believed me, but then said “better safe than sorry,” so I’m not quite sure she actually did. I told her I didn’t understand where all the suspicion was coming from. Saundra piped up, saying that I was a stranger who came to a small, isolated town I had no prior relation with to fill a position whose previous occupant had mysteriously disappeared, and asked if I understood how that looked (not in quite those words—her accent and dialect was rather strong). I told her I’d been summoned directly by Mòrag McKinney, and had the paper trail to prove it. I asked if she thought Mòrag was involved in some conspiracy, too. She shrugged and said she was just saying how it looked.

Donella said regardless that I should feel free to use the library—it was for the public, after all—and pointed me in the direction of the section on rune magic. Thus, the conversation ended, but my uneasiness didn’t entirely abate. Still, I’d come to the library for a reason.

The rune section was limited, but I didn’t need to know any more than the basics. I’d only ever been taught one way to create runes, and it was clear my predecessor used a different one—all I needed to do was to figure out which and I could reverse engineer the runes’ meanings.

I found that she used a combination of the witches’ circle and magic square methods, which are both apparently very popular. I wonder why I was never taught them. Both systems derive the shape of the sigil directly from the letters of the intentions they’re meant to invoke. It’s traditional to remove the vowels before doing so, but luckily for me my predecessor chose not to do that.

So, with a bit of work I was able to determine that the sigils I copied down meant: life, autonomy, gentleness, congeniality, and empathy respectively. It was clearly built to be a very kind golem. Now that I know that, I’m going to try to create my own sigils and charge them, and see if that helps.

 ────⊱⁜⊰──── 

While I was at the library, I also collected a few of the greatest works of modern literature—Lord of the Midges, Beathag’s Choice, To Kill a Gull-Drake, et cetera. The next morning I packed the books into the rucksack I’d used to travel to Greenmoor and set out to take them to Morna, heading to Hero’s Hollow by way of Moonbreaker Mountain.

As I skirted the base of the mountain, I heard a voice call out from above me, crying “hey, you! Groundling!” It was clearly far above me but somehow also quite loud. I looked up and saw, blotting out the sun, a great hot air balloon.  I’d heard vague stories but had never seen one in person before. The most striking part of it was the balloon itself, made of canvas patterned beige and blue and larger than a house. The top half of it (as I was informed later) was enclosed by a net, which had metal rings on its edges attaching it to a tangle of myriad ropes and cords. These in turn held aloft the basket, which was not the simple platform I’d seen described in books but rather looked like a small sailing boat, complete with railings, rotors, and a steering wheel.

The voice announced that it hadn’t seen me around before and that I ought to climb aboard. A ladder with metal rungs unfurled over the side of the boat, just low enough that I could reach it if I jumped. I did so after making sure my rucksack was firmly on my back and shut, and climbed up to reach the aircraft.

The man onboard was only slightly taller than me. His white shirt was rumpled and stained with oil, and his left suspender was fraying. The thick goggles on his forehead, held together with large bolts and screws, were the only thing keeping his thick black hair from whipping in all directions with the wind (mine, in contrast, had already become hopelessly tangled). His sleeves were rolled up, but his forearms were covered by brown leather fingerless gloves, with metal studs that flashed in the sunlight as he hauled the ladder back onto the balloon. He wore a mask over the lower half of his face, with a cylindrical chamber marked “O2” sticking out from each cheek. Directly in front of the mouth was a clear window, so that I could see his lips moving when he spoke. He offered me a similar one and I accepted—the air was rather thin so high up. I could see him say something that was drowned out by the wind, and then he beckoned me towards a door. Given the shape of the craft, I wasn’t surprised to discover that it led to a kind of captains’ quarters.

Inside, the wind wasn’t quite so brutally loud and I could actually make out what my host was saying. He introduced himself as Captain Akash Majhi, aviator extraordinaire, and asked if I needed a lift. I said it might have been a bit late to ask since I was already on the balloon, which made him chuckle. I said that since he’d offered, I was headed to Hero’s Hollow, and he replied that that would be no problem. I noticed as we conversed that he only made eye contact when he was speaking—when I spoke, he instead watched my lips.

As Akash turned to pull a lever on the wall, I asked where he was from. He didn’t respond. With the lever pulled, a large strip of the ceiling rotated so that a piece of what had been the floor above—the piece to which the steering wheel was attached—became the ceiling of this room. Akash then tapped what seemed to just be a wooden accent covering a swath of the metal wall above the desk and bed. The wood slid to the side, revealing a bay window through which he could see.

He took his place at the wheel, positioning me in his field of view, so I asked again where he was from. He told me he was a proud resident of the Cloud Isles. I told him I’d never heard of such a place, and he said I really must be new to the area. Belatedly, I told him my name and that I had in fact only moved here a few weeks ago. He told me that the Cloud Isles were just that: islands in the clouds, with wildlife, ecosystems, and culture. At the center was a great city that, yes, was attached to the clouds, but had mostly been built flying between and amongst them by generations of architects, donors, engineers, artists, and aviators like himself. 

I asked him where the city was located and he vaguely waved his hands. “Here and there.” He said that as the clouds drifted so did the Isles, but that the city itself never strayed too far from Greenmoor—otherwise, mapping and resource-gathering from the ground below would be difficult or impossible.

I asked him how I might visit the Isles, and he told me I’d need to be able to fly. He said the general ethos of the residents leaned towards mechanical solutions, but he had heard that there were magical ways of flight as well. I said I would have to look into that. He handed me a business card with his name, “balloonist | engineer | aviator extraordinaire,” an address, and a smoke signal pattern to use to contact him. He said if I was ever in the city he’d be happy to show me around. Then, he announced that we’d arrived.

We went back onto the deck and he unfurled the ladder over the edge. I  went to hand him the oxygen mask back but he told me to keep it—they were expensive, but he had plenty and I’d be needing it when (and he did say “when”) I visited the city. I thanked him, shook his hand, and started descending the ladder.

 ────⊱⁜⊰──── 

I made it back to the ground (the hop down from the ladder was smaller than the hop up had been), and smoothed my hair down before setting off into the Hollow. I’d only barely made it into the skull when my plans for the afternoon abruptly shifted.

It was just around midday, so the guards must have been on break or between shifts. Hurrying out of the dungeon was a group I recognized—it was the Lows, the mining family. Angus was carrying the son in his arms. The boy was clutching his thigh, and even from a distance I could see blood seeping through his fingers.

Crystal spotted me and immediately called out to me, thanking the gods for my arrival. I hurried to them and guided them back to the cottage, where I knew I’d be able to better determine how to treat the issue. Morna would have to wait—I had a patient to tend to.

⇦●〇●⇨

[i-do-trash-fanfictions]

Character Creation: Thera

@pretty-meekish who made all of these wonderful questions!

(I didn’t do all of them btw. And I will do another sometime about Angelica!)

Guardians name: Thera

Age: I’ve never really thought about age. I’d say 21 in years she’s been a Guardian.

Race: Awoken.

Call signs/alias: Young Wolf

Pronouns: She/her (is fine with being referred to with they/them pronouns, just prefers she/her)

Class: Hunter

Preferred subclass(es): Solar or Stasis

Ghost's name: Scout

Their Vanguard: Still doesn’t have one

Fireteam name: Doesn’t really have a name for her fireteam, since she doesn’t really consider it one in the first place ( because it only has one member)

Fireteam teammates: Angelica (or Ann)

Favorite legendary weapon: Drang

Favorite exotic weapon: Riskrunner

Favorite ornament armor set: Luxe 

Do they prefer being close, mid, or long range: Thera’s fine with any of them, though she likes close combat or mid combat the most.

Do they lean more "Element of Surprise" or "Upfront and Aggressive": Upfront and aggressive, definitely. 

Strikes, Gambit, or Crucible: Crucible, though she plays Gambit just as much as she plays the Crucible.

Who was their mentor(if they had one. If it is a character you created, tell us about them!): Both Zane-2 and Sora (both characters I created) were like her mentors. Sora was an awoken warlock, who was the oldest of the three, and like a mother figure to Thera. Zane was an exo hunter, and was more like an older brother. Unfortunately, both died fifteen years ago.

Who are they mentoring(if they are. If it is a character you created, tell us about them!): Thera is like a mentor to Angelica, or Ann, a young hunter who arrived at the Tower months ago. 

What ship do they have: After Cayde’s death, Thera got the Queen of Hearts.

What is their Sparrow:

Favorite Ghost shell: She really likes the Tangled Lights shell.

Favorite shader: Dust mine was the one she used the most when she was still young, but now she switches between a bunch of them, as long as it has purples or blues.

Favorite color: Purple

Favorite food: Thera secretly likes anything with cheese.

Favorite piece of Pre-Collapse tech(if they've seen any): Zane-2 had a vinyl player that she now owns.

Favorite Pre-Collapse music(if they've heard any): Classic rock.

Favorite place in The Last City(if it's a place you created, give a little description!): Thera doesn’t go to down to the City often. Mostly she chooses to go adventuring instead. But when she does, she goes down to where the children play, usually with Ann and/or Shaxx. They like to play games with her, or hear some of her stories.

Favorite NPC(s): Ikora Rey, Amanda, Crow

Favorite patrol location: Anywhere in the EDZ

5 things your Guardian likes(can be anything): Pizza, MARVEL movies, any kind of oldies music, fiction books (usually fantasy), and pretty earrings (dangle ones, though she doesn’t get the chance to wear them all the time).

Least favorite food: Spinach, or like, most vegetables

Least favorite patrol location: Anywhere on the Moon

Least favorite NPC(s): Spider

5 things your Guardian dislikes(this can be anything): Our modern day pop music (or at least, she thinks she hates all of it), the Hive (especially ogres), romance movies, romance books, and getting her picture taken.

Your Guardian has to rest. What is their living space like: Because she’s the hero of the Red War, once they got the City back, she got a bigger room in the Tower. It’s a single large room with a decent sized bed (not really a queen, but not really a twin either). There’s two desks (one in the front of the room, and one in the back), a big bookshelf, and a kitchette on the West wall with a small round table that can fit two people. She also has a comfy sitting chair that sits by the bookshelf for reading and writing. There’s also a bathroom with a bath/shower, unlike other bathrooms which only have a small bathroom with only a shower. And there is a closet.

Does your Guardian have any casual wear?(Y'all remember Polyvore? The website URSTYLE works very similar if that helps!): Thera has a bunch of casual clothes that she has tucked away into her small closet. A few formal wear, which are dresses (usually purple or black), casual wear which consists of dark pants and either a t-shirt or blouse (which is usually worn with a leather jacket of some kind), and lots of boots. And some clothes for when she’s going to be doing a lot of fitness based things, which are shorts and a tanktop with tennis shoes.

What hobbies and/or skills does you Guardian have: Thera likes to cook and bake in her free time.

What would your Guardian's lore book be called: Secrets of the Wolf

Where was your Guardian reborn?(If you created the location, give us a little description!): She was reborn in the Cosmodrome where the game starts off.

What were they wearing when they were reborn: An old t-shirt which had a design on it but it was severely faded, black jeans, and tennis shoes that were very dirty.

What was their reaction to being reborn: Basically something like, “I haven’t a clue what’s going on here-”

What was their reaction to their first rez: “Is the tiny headache normal? And the queasiness? Do you ever get used to that?

After being reborn, did they meet friendlies first or hostiles: Hostiles. Lots of Fallen.

Who was the first other Guardian they met?(Same thing! If you made them, give a little description!): She met Cayde first of course, along with the other Vanguard, but besides them, she met Zane-2 first.

Did your Guardian get reborn with, or find, any indication of their past life? If so what do they have/found: All Thera remembers is her name.

Going back to your Guardian's lore book, what would be some some quotes or passages from their book: Probably a passage talking about her past before she became known as a hero, back when Sora and Zane were both alive. Her thoughts on certain rules the Vanguard have made about diving into their pasts, and things like that. Another passage talking about her depression and trauma that she went through.

Does your Guardian have a significant other: Crow, though it is to remain a secret as of now. Only Ann and Osiris know about it.

Did your Guardian go explore first before going to The Last City? If so, where to: No, she headed straight to the City.

What was their reaction to first seeing The Last City: She was amazed. Amazed at all the Guardians, and at the Traveler, and the city itself, and more.

Is your Guardian a part of a clan: Nope.

If your Guardian would have a quote as a flavor text for a weapon and/or piece of armor, what would they be: “Shoot aliens, and look good doing it!” Probably on a fancy looking gun.

If your Guardian has had any interactions with any civilians (The Last City/The Farm), Eliksni, Cabal, Vex, Hive, Taken, Scorn, Rouge Lightbearers, or Iron Lords/War Lords(if your Guardian is an Old Light) tell us about it!: Thera has a few friends down in the City. Not exactly friends, since they don’t really hang out, but people she goes to when she needs help and they know they can go to her. For example, she has one friend who owns a restaurant in the City, and at Dawning time, she uses the kitchen there to make snacks for everyone that’s important in her life. There’s also a woman who owns a sort of thrift store and Thera goes to shop there all the time, so they both know each other and will talk from time to time.

How does your Guardian feel about themselves or others using Stasis: She believes it won’t hurt anyone if they use it every now and then, but that Guardians shouldn’t use it all the time. Switch back to the Light a majority of the time.

Where did they go and what did they do during The Red War: Thera was the Hero of the Red War. The one to get the light back and fight against Ghaul.

Here are some characters that are either polarizing or have created a strong enough mass emotion within the community. What opinion does your Guardian hold on each of them(These are only a handful of characters!)>>>

Osiris, First Warlock Vanguard, originally exiled: She thinks of him very wise and listens to every word he says. She knows that she can talk to him.

Eris Morn, Bane of the Swarm: Thera and her both relate to each other because of the trauma they’ve been through, so they both know that if they want, they can open up to each other and the other will understand.

Cayde-6, Sixth Hunter Vanguard: After the death of Sora and Zane-2, Cayde was like the only really close friend she had left. Cayde would always make sure she was alright. If she got enough sleep, if she ate that day, ect.

Ikora Rey, Second Warlock Vanguard: Ikora is another older sister figure. She usually confides to Ikora here and there about her ideas on events.

Commander Zavala, Second Titan Vanguard: Though the two don’t always see eye-to-eye, Thera respects him, and understands that he has a lot of worries on his shoulders, especially right now.

Saint-14, legendary Titan, First Titan Vanguard: Thera finds him a good person to hang out with. She’s fed the pigeons with him once or twice to relax.

Lord Saladin, Iron Banner handler, One of the last remaining Iron Lords: Thera trusts him, but doesn’t always agree with what he believes. 

Lord Shaxx, Crucible handler, Hero of Twilight Gap, living megaphone: She likes hanging out with him. He always knows how to get her into a good mood if he knows she’s upset or angry.

The Crow, New Light, Ex-Enforcer to The Spider: She feels sorry about the things he’s gone through when working for Spider. Now, he is secretly her boyfriend, though only few know it. Thera enjoys every second she gets to spend with him.

The Spider, The Shore's Only Law, founder of "House" Spider: Son of a-

Uldren Sov, Prince of the Reef, Master of Crows: She is a firm believer that Guardians are far different than who they were before, so she doesn’t think of Crow as Uldren. She didn’t like Uldren much at all.

Mara Sov, Queen of the Reef, Queen of the Awoken, Ex-Kell of Wolves: She was a bit of a b***h, in Thera’s opinion. 

Variks, the Loyal, founder of House Judgement: She understands that he did not mean for Cayde to die, and has forgiven him. 

And finally, does your Guardian have any advice for any New Lights: “Listen, for you hunters, fight well, and look good doing it. Warlocks, get ahold of any book you can get ahold of. I had a friend who believed that with enough studying, you may come across something that could help the Last City greatly. And for the Titans, stay strong and listen to the Warlocks. They know what they’re doing, but almost never listen to hunters. We’ll usually lead you into trouble.”

[dailyaudiobible]

12/18/2020 DAB Transcript

Habakkuk 1:1-3:19, Revelation 9:1-21, Psalms 137:1-9, Proverbs 30:10

Today is the 18th day of December welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian and it's great to be here with you today as we continue the journey step-by-step day by day. Moment by moment together we move through the Scriptures. And it's not a secret that we’ve been moving rapidly through the Scriptures because we’re encountering shorter texts within the Scriptures. Today is no different. We got a brand-new book in front of us. And this one is called Habakkuk and we will read Habakkuk in its entirety today.

Introduction to the book of Habakkuk:

It's the eighth of the minor prophets. And who Habakkuk was is pretty well unknown. Maybe we know less about Habakkuk than we do any of the other writers in the Bible. Nahum, we didn't know much about him when we read that yesterday, but we did have some…some time…like we could locate him in time because of some specific references. Of course, me saying we’re not really exactly sure who Habakkuk was, that's like not new. People have been wondering, figuring, having traditions about a Habakkuk for centuries, even millennia. There’s a Jewish tradition that speaks of Habakkuk as is the son of a Shunamite woman who was resurrected through Elisha. And that stories found in the book of second Kings. Of course, Habakkuk’s not named in that story. So, it's a tradition. There’s other traditions, like fantastic traditions, one that’s found in the up apocryphal book “Bell and the Dragon” that talks about Habakkuk with Daniel while he was in the Lion’s den. But like I said, these are traditions, they may be long-running traditions, but they’re traditions and most scholars, especially with, like “Bell in the Dragon” find…find a story like that to be maybe be legendary. Nevertheless, many verses that are found in Habakkuk are famous. Maybe the most famous will be like Habakkuk 2:4 “but the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.” That might sound familiar – “the righteous will live by faith” - is like a mainstay quote from the apostle Paul in his writings. It's also in…in the book of Hebrews. It's a core theme in the Christian faith. And scholars have noticed that…that the book itself, the text itself is sort of lyrical in form and definitely has a Psalm or hymn at the end, which leads some to think maybe Habakkuk was a temple musician, possibly. But basically, the book of Habakkuk is a conversation between the prophet Habakkuk and God, and it begins at a place of doubt. Habakkuk is saying out loud the things that he’s seeing, and they are leading him to doubt. He wants to know why God continues to allow evil to exist and to continue forward almost like he…he’s indifferent to it. And then God responds by saying the Babylonians are gonna come punish His own people, which leaves Habakkuk confused even more. Not sure, he’s perplexed. And then God reveals the Babylonians will punish His people and the Babylonians will be punished. Evil will be destroyed in the end. That's the goal. And, so, Habakkuk begins to realize that God’s not indifferent, he’s not unaware. He has His will. He will continue to move His plan forward. He is a God of justice. And Habakkuk ends up moving into a place of worship. And, so, Habakkuk has three chapters, and we will read them all now starting with chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word and another day to spend together in Your word. And we thank You for Habakkuk, a book that we read in its entirety today, one that shows us a movement from frustration and confusion to worship when we understand fully that You’re not aloof. You’re very, very much paying attention to what's going on and You are in control. We lose sight of that when we judge that it doesn't look like that, when we deem that it doesn't look like that anymore. And, so, we have these questions and these frustrations and then when we can settle into the fact that You are good, You are present, You are the most-high God, You are the all-powerful one and You are our Father. When that context takes hold again, when our actual reality reasserts itself than we, our spirits are again turned toward worship. What else can we do? There is none higher than You. There is nothing else to give our hearts to in worship. There is no other place to put our hope. And, so, our hope is in You and You alone. Come Holy Spirit, lead us forward in truth we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, that is indeed home base and its where you find out what’s going on around here. And what else is going on…on besides Christmas time. We are getting very close are we not? We’re going to go through this weekend and then it’s gonna be Christmas week. How did it get here so quickly? Are we ready? Is everything done? All these things are swirling through our minds at Christmas and those things can kind of cover over what we’re really looking for underneath it all, which is hope for the arrival of the Savior.

So, I mentioned yesterday, we released a new single “O Holy Night” performed by Jill my wife and we’re just releasing it into all of the flurry of activity and festivity that goes on at this time, these moments, these days before Christmas comes. The words to that song are timeless and they root us back to that story underneath it all. Yes, this is joyous. Yes, there's a lot of chaos involved in Christmas, but underneath it all there is “oh holy night the stars are brightly shining it is the night of dear Saviors birth.” So, you can stream that on Spotify, or Apple music, or YouTube music or Google play, wherever, or you can buy it at any of these places as well and keep it a part of your permanent collection. Just look for Jill Parr. That's…well…that’s Jill’s maiden name, and that's what she was known of…known as before she was Jill Hardin. So, just look it up, “O Holy Night”, the single and enjoy. Listen to the words of that song and let it lead you deeper into the Christmas season.

The other thing we’ve been talking about is the Daily Audio Bible Shop. There are a number…there’s all kinds of stuff in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. Some stuff, yeah. If you’ve taken the 2020 journey, something to remember that journey. This has been an unforgettable year and we might want to forget it as quickly as possible, but we shouldn't because when we get some hindsight on this thing, we are going to see that we grew up all lot and it was time. We…we were…we were getting soft and pudgy, we were acting like a toddler, we were kicking and squirm…squirming, we were throwing our bottle down on the ground because things weren’t going our way. We were jumping up and down and throwing a fit.  And once and a while things come along and they tell you, “you know what? A new season is upon you. Whether you like it or not it's time to grow up.” And we have in so many ways. So, just to kind of remember that, that is important because…so that we don't have to do these lessons again, not that pandemics are going to be sent upon the earth every year, but so that those pathways that lead us to transformation and growth and growing up so that we can have learned the lesson no matter what the catalyst was, so that we could've learned what we needed to learn and pick up what we need to pick up and lay down what we needed to lay down and move forward stronger. So, there's the case for remembering. But there are number of resources in the Daily Audio Bible Shop that just…there just that kind of a thing, they’re commemorative things each year as we go through the Scriptures. So, check that out. There are number of unique gifts there for…yeah…for anyone in your life. So, check that out. We have basically the weekend and then that’ll be sort of the end of it because we've reached our threshold for shipping inside the United States and etc. etc. So, check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop and maybe that hard-to-find gift will be there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. I thank you with all of my heart, with all of my heart, with all of my gratitude for your partnership. Especially here as we’re ending the year. Thank you. Thank you for your partnership. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

This is Quiet Confidence from Virginia and ever since I got out of the mental hospital, I feel so lost. I’ve just been begging God to just please take me home because life seems so unbearable. It seems very unbearable. Every day is a struggle and I just need God to have mercy on my soul. I used to be so close to Him and I don’t know how I got to this place. But I need God to help me. The enemy keeps telling me I’m not a Christian, I’m not going to make it to heaven, but I ask God for forgiveness of my sins and that He would just please allow me to go home. My husband of 24 years has been trying to help me and I’ve been taking my medication, but I still struggle, and I really need God to deliver me. I don’t want to self-harm anymore, but I really need God to please just…just take me home. I just want it to be over because it’s a terrible feeling to feel lost every day. Lord Jesus please have mercy on my soul.

Hey this is holiday greeting from Justin in Colorado. I’ve walked with the Lord for several decades. I’ve been in the mission field. I’ve been on church staff. You know, all the things. But this year I purposed to work through the Bible in a…in a single year and I’ve just gotta say the Daily Audio Bible was such a huge gift. And consuming large volumes of Scripture every day has been transformational for me in the sense that I’ve got…I feel like I’ve gotten to know the Lord, His personality, just…just to know who He is, what He does, what He likes, what He doesn’t like. I…I feel a greater level of intimacy than I’ve ever felt even having quiet times and going a verse at a time every morning like I’ve done for years. So, this is been just a huge blessing to me. Thank you so much.

Hi yes this is Living by Grace. I don’t know if you can hear me clearly, but I just want to give a praise report. This is long overdue. Back about two years ago I called about my wife having some anxiety problems and since I called in maybe about a week and half afterwards really started see a marked change. And she was struggling even going to work and was really in a rough place. And I believe that God saw her through and helped use that situation to grow her closer to Him. And I just want to encourage anybody who is going through those things that I know is very real and I know that God has a plan for it and that He’s able to overcome whatever difficulty you’re going through. I’m a personal witness to it and I…I know that He has to continue to sustain her, sustain us in all that we do. But I just want to say thank you and thank the whole family, the Daily Audio Bible family for praying for us and just have a blessed day.

Hey, DABbers this is Katie in Kentucky. I just want to call and pray for all of you parents who are exhausted, whether you have a newborn who is not quite sleeping through the night like those two hour stretches that leave you just so tired or a parent of a four-year-old who wakes up in the middle of the night and won’t go back to sleep, those parents of teenagers who are out and trying to wait up for them or any of those parents who are just dealing with your children’s big feelings overall the Covid restrictions. I just want to pray for all of you. God lift up the parents, give them strength, give them energy that is just beyond anything that they can have on their own. Give them wisdom and the words to say to their kids as the kids are struggling. Give them peace. And God as much as possible, just give parents a good night’s sleep. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Love you DABbers. Bye.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible friends and family this is Granny Mary from Missouri. My best friend Vera has Covid and she’s in a coma on the ventilator in the hospital. She’s been in a coma for two weeks. They’re going to give her another week and try to decide. She’s got grandkids and a daughter. And would you please pray for her because, you know, it’s not easy for families who lose loved ones. She’s a wonderful Christian lady so, I know if God does take her home where she’s going, but the kids all need prayer, her grandkids and her daughter. So, thank you very much. God bless you all. Have a good day. Bye-bye.

[tortillaplanet]

Realty Stories that Show You How!

Let's begin easing you actually out of the pits. I mean, comfort zone! I'm going to slowly and carefully give you as many little sparks and insights to the not hard ways that ordinary people use real estate to achieve extraordinary outcome. Stories are the best spark plugs. They let you gently observe from a safe, secure and understandable view place. I will write to answer most of the questions that I experience I myself would ask if I was reading everything you are about to read. I want you to know something belonging to the very start of this report and that something is this unique: I care about you and I sincerely mean that. I seriously do want you to move to a new comfort zone, one that can be pleasurable and free from fear. A place where you realize you will have the power to achieve greater things than you currently can see right now. It's possible for you to start being a more powerfully directed purpose-driven individual who is well organized and on track to higher achievement. You are likely to change and grow, slowly and steadily with each page you read. With every thought and understanding you gain, your desire and courage will grow at the same time. Napoleon Hill wrote one of the greatest books of all time. It's referred to as "Think and Grow Rich. " The essence of these book, the secret it reveals time and again is this: you ought to develop a burning desire. Don't put this book downward thinking the previous statement is cliché and that you previously knew that! I am simply leading you to my then point, the next point being is - your hope needs a starting point. So to start developing desire, my technique is you must have a purpose. Why do you want to pursue real estate? I do know what you're thinking: to make money, to have security, that will feel useful and appear successful. Good points. I concur you can have all of that and more if that is what you desire. Currently here is something that comes before any of those things you desire. What's the purpose of all those things? Purpose, purpose, purpose... you need to very first define purpose before you get the things. My purpose, roughly I thought early in my career, was to move up to a nicer house and have my first house become my own first rental property. When I moved up to the next you, I quickly learned as soon as I rented it outside, I was in some way responsible for creating happiness and safety in the life of another person that was of no regards to me. It soon was evident to me how the selections I made in choosing that first property either could help me or hurt me in my quest to achieve the real estate investment business. All of it is cumulative, all you do and how you do it adds up. It compounds its own matters and it either makes your life easier or more difficult. My goal is to give you experiences that you can learn from that will make your life much easier; I am going to show you how. That is my purpose. The arrange that gave me the unknowing courage to take this first steps in real estate was a book labeled "How I Turned $1000 into $3 Million through real estate in my spare time" by William Nickerson. The person was a master storyteller and by osmosis, once reading his book, I found myself gravitating towards the home classified section of my Sunday paper. Eventually I jumped and my life had changed. It was an FHA property foreclosure, a two-bedroom, one-bath home with a built-in, screened-in group, with a Jacuzzi and a built-in sprinkler system. I bought the software for $46, 000 and used the HUD 203K rehab program to fix it up. I spent $16, 000 to update and make repairs. They then gifted me one loan for a total of $62, 000. It took me three months to complete it and Document was in; I had done it! My life changed, I realized, I took the leap. From then on I had confidence. I needed already had my first home but now I did two. Well, I was in the Coast Guard together with wouldn't you know, three months later we moved. Uncle Sam had me out of St. Petersburg, Florida and dropped others in Kodiak, Alaska, for my next tour about duty. Well guess what? I was armed with ambition, courage, confidence and just enough knowledge to be considered threatening, so I bought a duplex as soon as I came on land on Kodiak Island. Now I had three dwellings and additionally my relationships and responsibilities were growing with your new tenants counting on me to provide a clean, purposeful and pleasing environment for them to exist in. It seemed like this: My mother rented my first house in addition to an elderly couple rented the second one and a duplex came with an existing tenant who was a hospital officer, so I was lucky. I was able to ease myself towards the role of landlord without getting burned early into my career. I now had two houses and a duplex in the span of about one year. My brothers and some other sorts of family members took notice and were pretty well dumbfounded. Individuals couldn't figure out how I had, all of a sudden, become a real estate wizard. It all felt good to make that change in so quite short a time. I got that from reading a book! And also my friend is how you are going to do the majority of everything you achieve in real estate, by reading and taking steps closer to duplicating the success of others in a repeatable structure. The key is to understand that you can do it if you read the ideal books and apply the very basic formulas that are passed to you. There lies in: Magic Bullets in Real Estate This is usually a common man or woman's real estate manual. William Nickerson never gave me anything so easy as "Magic Principal points! " So I learned trial by fire and it has also been very gratifying. I've since went on to collect 17 real estate, 23 tenants, 2 real estate licenses in Florida along with Alaska, an assistant appraiser's certificate and over a one hundred dollars books on real estate. I just kept learning and maturing and gaining momentum for the last 13 years. I am however in the Coast Guard, too, and I work at Ak One Realty in my spare time. In two more numerous years, I will be retired at the ripe old age of 42. May sound like a sort of fairytale, doesn't it? Don't let me fool an individual. It's hard work and I'm still not a millionaire, yet I want you to have the truth, so I will be honest along every step of the way. I know why I am an excellent millionaire and here is why. I would periodically sell real estate that was going up in value and paying for itself because of the rent checks. But being in the Coast Guard would most likely dislocate me every four years, so I found ourselves selling out in order to avoid being what is called "an absentee landlord. " This is an important lesson for you. It has prevented me from becoming a millionaire up to this point. The tutorial is: find an area on this planet that you could and will inhabit, and stay close to it. Don't move more than 10 miles from your farm area. The farm area is definitely where all your properties are located. Long distance "land lording" might be tough! It can be done but you lose the ability to control your situation compared to if you were there. I've served my country and even saved people's lives, so for me it has not been in vain. I have no regrets but if you don't have to get away from your area of expertise, don't! The networks you develop and the contacts you build, in the process of "doing" property, are so valuable that when they are no longer at your disposal, it puts you at a serious disadvantage. Not to mention when you step you have to acclimate yourself to an entirely different market, build latest trust-based relationships and start all over again. It's like a treadmill you're going to be running and running, however it gets you nowhere. I had used it to my advantage. I have been forced towards accelerate my abilities to rapidly duplicate my achieving success whenever I am moved, but it is still an uphill combat. My point: Don't move too far from your farm or even your network of bankers, appraisers, carpenters, tradesman, housing, friends, tenants and so on. Once you have the skill you can redundant your success anywhere you go but if you don't have to be... enough said on that! I like to say, "Don't advertise the goose to get the eggs. " What that means is certainly if you need money to buy more property, use equity creases from other property to do it. You will get the same amount of cash or more by using an equity line as if you sold the idea. However , you get to keep the asset and the money! I go deep into this in "Magic Bullets, " so I won't drone on here. Just know you don't have to sell your property to see the cash out of them. So here we are. You know a little about me and you may have picked up a nugget or simply two. Let's find a few more. There once was men who wanted to buy some investment property, so what the guy did was look at growth patterns. You should do this at the same time, by going to your city's planning and zoning department. You will discover growth patterns and you definitely want to buy property that is an acronym in the way of growth. This is how he used what he discovered. He saw that city planners had decided which a new artery (highway) would benefit their city by just creating linkage to another city about 100 miles at a distance, so being a smart investor he only went in as much as a ten mile limit to be able to be close to your partner's investment. Now on average, new growth will radiate out from existing prosperous cities in the direction it is planned for a price of about one mile per year. So our smart individual had a 10 - 12 year plan to hard cash out in about 10 - 12 years. Exactly what he did was buy, I believe, 10 acres connected with commercially zoned property very cheaply because there was basically no demand at the time. He bought it, fenced it in, deal some lights and a gate, and held onto which usually little bugger. Now that new highway was coming this way and the good folks, through their taxes, was paying to have it built. It didn't take long for the heavy equipment to start cutting a swath when it comes to his fenced-in storage facility and when they got shut enough to him, he started renting out a good secure area for everything, from road cones in order to generators to backhoes. You name it - it had been stored there. This more than paid his land down. Now the men and their equipment eventually moved further down the trail but they left a completed highway behind them. And guess what? Low and behold, individuals started driving on it, and then started buying property to set up houses on to get away from the city. Since the new highway seemed to be a straight shot into town, ten miles through was breeze. Well, of course, here comes the herd and everyone is just populating the whole darned area. As well as within ten years, residential housing surrounds Mr. Investor, and will you guess what he's got? Yep, a prime part of commercial property, 10 acres large. So in accordance with her 10-12 year plan, he sells his storage option to make room for the new office/business park complex designed for over $2, 000, 000. That, my friend, is perception, and the sooner you get a clear picture of what it will be that you want to specialize in, the sooner you can retire to the of the islands. How hard was that? Don't tell me it's hard to do it, you can! I'm here to help you. I'm going to give you secrets and techniques no one else dares. Do you ever wonder why people will not tell you the secrets? Of course you already know this but I'm going to tell you anyway. It is because they are operating on a scarcity attitude, as though there won't be any left for them. Or whenever learn something and act on it, you will get ahead and possess a great life. Well, misery loves company and quiet oppression is the rule. Here's a little story that low quality real estate agents won't appreciate either but I'm going to tell that to you anyway. The reason I can tell it is because there are some amazing real estate agents out there who absolutely don't fear what Now i'm about to tell you and would let you know it if they happen to be in my position. Here's the deal: Some agents want to be for instance the Wizard of Oz . They want to create the appearance of selling and transacting real estate as being technical and very legal, a new deep dark mystery. Well, it's not! The truth be told, you possibly can write a contract on a napkin and it would give a presentation in court. I will emphasize here that you write for that napkin along with the terms of your agreement, "The words and phrases set forth on this here napkin are subject to my lawyer's approval. " An attorney will cover you completely for around $750. 00. Prices may vary, however that is an average home contract. There is a lot I am leaving out here but our point is this: If you own property, you can market it anyway you want. "Magic Bullets" will teach you. We will move on. Exposure is the key to finding buyers and owners in real estate. If a property is priced fairly not to mention everyone who is looking for that type of property knows that should be in the availability pool, it will be found and the transaction will probably proceed as advertised. Price it right, advertise the application properly and let the lawyer take care of the details. No fee, just a flat fee. Period. Now that I have that off my personal chest, I will tell you a story about Dan, a 21-year old friend of mine, and his wife and also their new baby. He's a hardworking guy who does an individual's work without complaint and all the other "workers" pick in him for working so hard. Can you believe this? The other guys are so insecure and lazy construct y make fun of a guy who is doing the work of two to three men, mainly of the three who are ridiculing him. Nicely, believe me, this doesn't go unnoticed by me plus I take him under my wing. Dan hopes to buy a house, so I begin the process of saving them years of trial by fire and save your man $25, 000 at no charge. That is because he deserved great help. Anyway, here is the story: I began with the pup by asking him what type of home he thought yet be comfortable with and a price range. He indicated a 3-bedroom for around $100, 000. Knowing what he wanted as well as knowing the area, I was able to take him shopping for the place he was looking for. Now I always go after the "For Selling by Owner" homes first because I know they won't possibly be adding any commission figure into their price, because they will never be paying one. So at 6% of $100, 000 he will get $6, 000 more "house" for his particular precious dollar. I also told him besides the "For Sale by Owner" homes, we would be looking at oddball discount companies that help distressed sellers further spend the their money and property. The mentality of a dealer who uses cheesy companies to help them sell their property is pennywise and pound-foolish. If you're going to use individuals, then get a professional. So off we go. After a day or so, we have found our house. Sure enough, El Cheeso Inc. has a sign on it. The screen doors are actually flapping in the breeze, the weeds are dancing within the lawn, but this house is indeed a 3-bedroom, 2-bath, 1-car garage with a fenced yard and it's selling regarding $110, 000. Well, due to the fact that there is a divorce in progress, and a new girlfriend who doesn't like the place, and El Cheeso Inc. giving no representation, I settle for Dan and he gets it for $99, 000. What's so great about this deal is this very same floor plan in another house was for sale across town, on the same street, for $25, 000 more. The ethical of the story is good things come to those who deserve the item, and that is another key to real estate. You must work very hard so others will take notice of you and enable you to succeed. Here's a beauty for you. This is about being on real estate circles and keeping your eyes and hearing open and often times your "yapper" closed. This is the adventure of Brian and Julie. Here we have two industrious souls. They have been married for 20 years and they have weathered the storms of matrimony. Julie works at a real estate property office as an office manager. No real estate license, however she works at an office that sells plenty of waterfront property. So we are talking about location and staying in the right place at the right time, and below comes a seller in the door of the office documenting she is going to sell her older waterfront home. She is ready to take $180, 000. Julie tells Brian, they look at it and sure enough, this pearl is right on the water. She gets a gem waiting to be polished up, so Brian and Julie sell their condominium and move in. Very well, they aren't making any more waterfront property, so John goes to work polishing this jewel up. Now, they've bought this house under market value in an appreciating market. So about one and a half years later, the property is worth over $350, 000 and still climbing. Most certainly, Brian is no dummy, so he gets to know his / her neighborhood. He strolls, takes walks and notices, one guessed it, a vacant, neglected jewel on an within double lot. He tracks down the elderly lady, who's going to be living with her sister, through the county records office together with buys the house, including the extra lot, for a total for $120, 000. Now Brian can walk to his or her new "jewel" and he starts polishing it. Typically the neighbors start noticing and are amazed at his put up. He has offers of $180, 000, $200, 000 and additionally $60, 000 for just the lot. You name them. Now that the exposure is there, everyone wants a piece of it again. Well, this is what Brian did. He rented his 1st house out, moved into the second one and utilised plans that I gave to him to build a third residential home on the vacant lot, using the equity he accumulated from first house that went up so much. And listed below is how this thing shakes out: $180, 000 intended for his first house and it's value goes up to $365, 000; he picked up the next jewel for $120, 000 and he paid cash using the equity from the first of all house. Now he takes out a new mortgage on the second house for $120, 000 and builds still another. The value at last count was $815, 000 and she owed a grand total $300, 000. That's a 1 / 2 million-dollar profit in 5 years! Now what really does this story tell us? #1 - it says, "work hard"; #2 - keep your eyes open; #3 - use equity lines; #4 - don't sell; #5 - learn how to be a landlord; #6 - be in locales that appreciate; #7 - buy things that are constrained in availability; #8 - know how to research owners in addition to repair property; #9 - get your partner's help (spouse); #10 - use knowledgeable friends to help you see future (I gave him the plans and advised your pet not to sell anything! ). Can you get any more instructions out of this story? I'm sure you can. Just read it once more and think on it. Jot down your ideas and put the crooks to work. Real estate is not that hard, folks! You can do it. Along with a few magic bullets, some spark plugs and a great mentor to show you how, you can do it too! Let me you and me talk for just a minute here, OK! Have you ever long been really good at something and been able to step to come back and see the whole thing for what it is was? You just comprehend exactly how to do it and you can see the end result clearly mentally before you start. It's predictable to you. It's almost second makeup, so you are comfortable doing it. It's almost become unexciting to you; your comfort zone is such that you can do it into your sleep. I've gotten that way with certain types of properties and I see people everyday that are so terrified of taking the first step that they are literally paralyzed. They produce excuses and put it off, and rationalize and live any quiet life of desperation. They don't trust themselves and so of the unknown they can't trust anyone else either. This is a horrible cycle because the longer they wait the more it reinforces their beliefs. I just want to grab them by the back of the shirt, take them to the bank and make them tell the bank, "Pre-qualify me! " Then walk them out the entranceway and show them how to do something that will change their daily life forever, and that is to buy the first property, and then a second. Therefore their fear is gone and they grow to be of service to make sure you everyone who is ready for their assistance. Let me tell you this: When you have finish reading the rest of this report and you read the "Magic Bullets" book, your fears will be subdued and you will want to do something and your life will change. If you cannot succeed with what I am motive on showing you, then something is not right. I feel your desire would be your major obstacle, so in that case, read "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Slope and come back to me then. Let's get back to real estate coaching, shall we? Do you know who the largest commercial real estate operator in the U. S. is? It's McDonalds Corporation. Yes, and on top of that, they also have the most valuable locations for their particular business. The research they do on demographics and website visitors counts is unparalleled! If you were ever going to clear a fast food restaurant, just put it near a McDonalds. You would survive just on the volume of people who flock or maybe pass by the location that McDonalds has already decided meets the critical data to support their restaurant business. Your eating place, if you had good food and service, would grow. Just sell something a little different than McDonalds. That's profiting someone else's expertise in evaluating a location for a certain types of real estate. Now that is a principle and principles are want natural laws. A natural law always works in every issue in its own way. It's like gravity - it all always works! Here on earth, anyway. So in realty it doesn't matter what type it is, whether it's commercial, residential, industrial as well as recreational. Look for signs that serious market studies have already been undertaken by major operators and buy things that can achieve the presence of those concerns. For instance, let's use Place Depot as an example. If Home Depot decides to build at a site, every residential lot within a mile of that brand new center will be bought up as soon as the Home Depot commits to build! Why? Because smart investors know that Home Depot has done the market study and the area will be a prosperous one particular. On top of that, it will provide jobs, it will pay taxes, it may provide materials to actually build the neighborhoods with, and the ones will shop there once their houses are built. An identical goes for Wal-Mart, Lowe's and other smart business concerns. You will or may not have noticed this but take a look the next time you are driving around. Here is what you should see. As you travel into cities from the suburbs, you'll notice donut boutiques, gas stations with convenience coffee centers, bagel shops, along with etcetera, on the side of the road that people travel to on their method into the city to go to work. These are morning activity enterprise centers. Now on your way home, out of the city, you will see places to eat that cater to the evening meal crowd: KFC, Taco Bell, Subway and Pizza Hut. That's because people will not go there for breakfast. They get it on their technique home, outbound from the city at night. If you put the restaurant on the wrong side of the road, you could be at home huge strategical error. Think! Location, location, location as they say, are the 3 most important things in real estate. That is a very true statement. With residential property, that boils down to safeness, security and convenience. So buy homes in decent neighborhoods, cul-de-sacs preferably. No noise or through visitors, no escape routes for thieves, and a private positioning, where kids play in the street without getting run down. Safety = close to hospitals, police and fire protection for the purpose of obvious reasons. Convenience = stores, gas stations, restaurants, enterprises, parks and recreation and access to major highways for you to circulate or evacuate if necessary. You might get a great deal about the piece of properly but if it takes you a half 60 minute block to get a loaf of bread. What kind of resale will which will great deal offer? Another great deal may back up to or possibly face a busy street. That's often a poor decision as well... noise, pollution, the loss of privacy and curb draw are all factors here. The two best types of property to obtain are: 1 . Property that no one else knows is ideal for sale! Why? Because you have no competition. 2 . Property normally wants! You just have to figure out why people don't want to buy. If you can turn that lemon into lemonade through numerous problem solving, that jewel may just shine because you employed the right magic polish. In real estate, you get paid if you solve problems. That is a fact! Here is a golden nugget available for you. If you do this, it will catapult your real estate investment career. That i guarantee you will gain more insight to real estate therefore one thing than just about anything else you could possibly do. The glowing nugget is this: Take a real estate appraisal course. It may fly by, a few weekends and it's over, but the perception and the information you gain from the class is priceless. The software gives you vision, ideas and understanding. You will have an edge through every other investor who has not done it. I had the instructor, who by some stroke of luck, I just was privileged to be taught by. His name is without a doubt Steven V. and he is truly a genius. This guy could create millions if he applied himself to real estate investment though he chooses to teach and give back to others in that way. He could be very comfortable in life and money is a by-product for Steven. When I finished the class, I had appraisers wanting to hire me to go to work. Now I won't want to work as an appraiser. I just want to think including one and that is why I took that four-weekend tutorial. That class taught me more than both of my best real estate licensing courses combined. The reason for that is real estate courses deal with state laws, contracts, regulations and ethics. Value determination focuses on evaluating real estate and that is what you want to learn as an real estate investor. A real estate license can actually hold you back as a result of being a savvy investor and here's why: #1 : You have to announce to every seller that you are an agent. It will be an ethics rule and a disclosure law. Well, currently the seller is on guard for all kinds of reasons so you waste precious time overcoming negative reactions. #2 - When you attend sell your real estate, the same things apply but grow that scenario the fact that if you make large profits regarding property that you sell, people can come after you, saying a person took advantage of them because of your expertise. And they be successful! So you don't need to go to college for 4 years and also don't need a real estate license. What you do need is actually a guy like me to convince you to go to value determination school and read books like the one you have at this time. Then go out and do it, using a lawyer to protect you will every step of the way. Again, here is a good indicate make. Simply weave into every agreement or deliver make the following statement: This entire agreement is subject to my attorney's approval. I can't stress that enough. It is one line of text. That covers it all. It presents time to investigate deals. It protects your interests and even keeps you from getting burned in this business. Right here are a couple more beauties that I use to protect myself and you ought to too. These are used with initial purchase offers: 1 . Ready to pay X amount of dollars or appraised value, any is less. (That says, "I'm only going to spend so much but if the appraisal is lower than what I proposed, than I am going to get it for the lower price. I don't get scorched! ) 2 . Subject to my partner's approval. (My mate was always my wife, and if she didn't like it, the deal was null and void, cancelled, over, kaput, finito. ) Now nothing says my partner wasn't the dog, so if there's no fire hydrant, well the offer could be off. Those are examples of escape clauses that may be abused to the point of being called "weasel clauses. " Do not be a weasel! They give you a short period of time to have the option to order something first with the right to cancel the deal, contingent on something or someone else's decision. I use them to protect personally and to get a little time to do my research on the building. Don't use them to unfairly tie a seller's hands. Possibly be fair and try to move quickly when you do utilize them. What you are doing is creating a short time, zero-cost option to buy real estate. Here is a little trick and I avoid the use of it very often but it can be used in a fair manner i really will give you the nugget. When you write an offer purchasing property, on the top line of the contract is a line the fact that indicates who the buyer is. On that line in a few cases, I will write my name plus the words and / or assigns, like this: Buyers: Dan Auito or assigns The things that word "assigns" does is this: it permits me to sell by assigning my right to buy the place to someone else. Dirty dealers will take advantage of people with who word if they can get away with it. Here's where We'd use it. In real estate, a lot of bargain hunters look for distressed property. You know, the fixer-uppers, the abandoned, condemned, fire-damaged stuff. I go a step further and look for affected sellers such as death, divorce, relocation, but a lot of times My spouse and i don't specialize in that type of property. That's OK if it's a steal and I get it for 40 -- 50% off, I will assign it to someone who does deal in that type of property and make a profit by determining it. I'll always ask the distressed seller should that is a problem and if it is, I will buy it downright, then flip it but it costs more to do that. Therefore I'll explain this to the seller and get their agreement to use it. I don't slip it in about them. You will have a miserable existence if you practice real estate by deceit. Natural law will crush you; play fair! Goal, passion and desire cannot be achieved or acquired by simply deceit. That's a quotable quote. I hope you remember the software. Let's get on with another story. This illustrates a second fine example for you. This story is about a family what person had business interests outside of real estate investing and as a result from the successes of their other businesses they had fairly large sums of money to play real estate like a monopoly adventure. Power can be dangerous in the wrong hands! So listed here we go. This flush with cash family perceives an opportunity to take advantage of an overlooked or left alone markets. That market is the old-fashioned trailer park, or shall we say Mobile Home Park. Anyway, the way almost all mobile home parks came into existence was this: Usually a person of integrity and strong work ethic coupled with a fabulous love for his fellow man would buy a parcel suitable to the placement of mobile homes. As people gone in, he and his wife would welcome individuals and the neighbors would greet them and the community may become established. The private owner would dig his own sewer lines and cut his own roads and scenery the park. Maybe put in the clubhouse complete with an important swimming pool, shuffleboard, pool table and meeting hall. Because time marched on, the residents bonded with each other along with a family-friendly community took root. Well this man in integrity had a problem. Since all of his tenants will be his friends, he is pressured not to raise the lot rent with inflation. So the rents over the years are kept suprisingly low in the park and now this man and his partner are getting old. Perfect timing for our investors to come bumping and offer our private aging park owner a three million dollar price for his 10 acres regarding mobile home lots. This is a once in a lifetime deliver and many park owners cashed out. What people didn't notice was these investors were systematically and methodically the process all over the place and once they cashed out as many mom not to mention pops as they could, they lowered the boom. At this time they the investors had control of many parks from the same areas and they started raising the lot rental prices. You see, they didn't have any emotional ties towards the residents and they didn't live there, so it was an easy business deal: either pay the new higher rent or perhaps move. The residents said, "To hell with you fresh owner, we are moving. " "Well, fine, go ahead, " they said. Now the residents started calling all-around to find another park with low rents but think who owned those? Yep, our investors did, and others lot rents were going up too. So the mom and also pops who didn't sell were full and it would certainly cost on average of about $7, 000 to relocate to a different one park even if they could find a vacancy. The old folks that had it so good for so long were faced with the latest reality and that was that they had no choice and yet to pay up or move, and moving, in many cases, wasn't an option. These investors exploited a complete segment of the current market and made millions and millions in profit and continue to achieve today. It wasn't long after this happened that you began seeing signs saying, "This is a resident owned group. " People eventually got smart and started selecting that little lot that their trailer was placed on and they began paying association dues for the club and security and grounds, maintenance and road fix. The good ole days are nothing but a fond storage. Life goes on but America did not change for the more effective as a result of these types of people. Their only purpose was to help with making money; I believe they will die alone and in anguish as a result of their way of life. So I ask you again, on earth do you be passionate and put your heart into purchasing real estate by investing the way our corporate investors does? I think not. Money is no good when you get it through deceitful ways. I encourage you to work at balancing your own objectives. Lease optioning, flippers... you are walking a fine series. Here's a flip side to communal living. This tale is a happier scenario, so let's have a little happiness here. I once lived in Key West plus I lived off base. Well, I thought When i lived next door to Noah, and it sounded as though the person was building another ark. All summer long, hammers and saws seemed to be making some type of racket, so of course being the neighbor I was, I got to know the person next door. He never went to work and I quizzed him one day, "Don't you have a job and he somewhat grinned and put his hammer down and this will be Mark's story. Mark and his brother were out of your Northeast and they had a 30-room boarding house pertaining to college kids there, at something like $300. 00 a calendar month. That was about $9, 000 a month and they made typically the parents responsible for the rent payments. Mark would commit his time with his family in the Keys for the on the lookout for months that school was in session. His brother was initially a local up North and he took care of your toilets, faucets, doors and windows. Yes, they had their very own animal house hold going on there, but Mark factored in the abuse as well as would spend 2 - 3 months a year, putting your pet house back together while the animals went home just for summer break. Mark only worked three months a year as well as house (ark) that he built next to us was the masterpiece; it was beautiful. He was a master craftsman and he loved his work and spent loads of his time with his family in a wonderful climate. Makes you kind of jealous, doesn't it? Well, don't let it books can do it, too, but you must get started. Mark was basically 45 when I met him. I believe he was twenty five when he got started, so my advice to your account is to get started now!

[justgotham]

Time is running out for Jim Gordon and Gotham, and nobody is more acutely aware of that fact than Ben McKenzie, the actor who has portrayed the flinty Gordon for five seasons on the Fox series that shares its name with Batman’s hometown. “It’s a lot to take in,” McKenzie said about the Gotham series finale that airs tonight. “It really is one of those bittersweet moments. But the show was never an open-ended proposition.”

Tonight’s finale is titled “The Beginning…” but the name isn’t quite as ironic as it sounds. That’s because the drama was built to be a sort of “prequel procedural” that leads up to the familiar Batman mythology that DC Comics has been publishing since 1939. The narrative window would begin in Bruce Wayne’s youth with the murder of his parents, and effectively end with his first forays as a costumed crimefighter: Gotham would end when Batman begins. That graduation moment arrives tonight with the show’s 100th episode, the first to feature an appearance by the Caped Crusader in action.

Gotham fans are more than ready to see the Dark Knight in all his cowled glory, but the show’s creative team hasn’t shared that eagerness. Just the opposite. Executive producer Bruno Heller, the British producer best known for The Mentalist and Rome, has said he would never have developed the show if it was a traditional costumed-hero franchise. “I don’t think Batman works very well on TV,” Heller said back in 2014. “To have people behind masks? Frankly, all those superhero stories I’ve seen, I always love them — until they get into the costume.”

That has made Gotham an eccentric entry in the superhero sector, but not an entirely unprecedented one. Smallville (217 episodes, 2001-2010) still reigns as the longest-running television series ever based on DC Comics heroes, and creators Alfred Gough and Miles Millar shared a similar aversion to costumed exploits. Their early mission statement was “no flights, no tights,” and the series held out until its final episode to put Clark Kent (Tom Welling) in Superman’s iconic suit.

For Heller and his team, the key to making a compelling Gothamwithout a Batman was to spotlight the hero’s trusted friend, James Gordon, the dedicated lawman destined to become the police commissioner of a city defined by its lawlessness and celebrity criminals. Gordon was introduced in the first panel of the first page of the first Batman comic book ever published, Detective Comics No. 27, the landmark issue that reached its 80th anniversary last month. Gotham added a key element to its version of Gordon — when Thomas and Martha Wayne are murdered, Gordon is the detective who handles the investigation.

Gordon is the good cop who holds on to his morals in a bad city that loses its marbles. The show found the man for the job in McKenzie, who had memorably portrayed LAPD officer Ben Sherman on the highly regarded (but lowly rated) Southland, which aired 2009 to 2013 on NBC and TNT. Before that, the Texan portrayed Ryan Atwood, a scruffy outsider adopted by a wealthy Newport Beach couple and the central character on The OC, the frothy Fox teen drama that aired for 92 episodes from 2003 to 2007.

“I had some things in common with the character,” McKenzie says with a shrug. It’s true, the 23-year-old actor trekked west from dusty Austin (instead of rural Chino) to Southern California, and bought himself a eye-catching Cadlliac DeVille that already had logged 17 hard years and 228,000 long miles. “That’s lot of miles.”

McKenzie has covered a lot of distance in his personal life while channeling the role of Gordon. In 2017, for instance, McKenzie married his Gotham co-star, Morena Baccarin, who has portrayed Dr. Leslie Thompkins on the series (and is well-known for her role in the Deadpool films as the mutant anti-hero’s love interest). The couple now have their first child.

For McKenzie, the end of Gotham closes a pivotal chapter in his screen life. But he’s also hoping that the final seasons will also someday represent a prelude to a different career story — one writing and directing. The actor directed the sixth episode of Season 5, and also directed one in each of the previous two seasons. McKenzie has also written the screenplay for two Gotham episodes: “One of My Three Soups” in Season 4 and “The Trial of Jim Gordon” in this final season.

McKenzie, the writer, didn’t exactly go easy on his fictional screen persona. The cop took a slug in the chest and hovered near death for much of the episode, stuck somewhere between “the here” and “the hereafter” in an existential courtroom where he had to defend his life.

‘I actually feel no sympathy for him at all,” McKenzie said with a chuckle. “The less sympathy you feel, the better, I’d say. The more pain you inflict upon the protagonist, hopefully, the higher the stakes are and the more emotion gets elicited. So I had to be a bit of masochist. Putting him through the ringer and having this existential crisis, this dream, where he’s on trial for his crimes and faces the loss of everything: the love of his life and his child at the same time. I think we got there. That’s about as high stakes as you can get. I think, ultimately satisfying, with the kind of emotional payoff we were looking for.”

That seems to apply to the season as a whole. The final episode is an epic send-off, too, with a story that flashes forward a decade (long enough for Gordon to sport a new mustache) and finds the Penguin (Robin Lord Taylor) returning from prison and Bruce Wayne returning to his ancestral home after years in self-imposed exile. It also coincides with the rise of the show’s off-kilter version of the Joker (Cameron Monaghan). “It’s fitting that he comes into conflict with Gordon and Wayne right at the end,” McKenzie said. “Cameron has been amazing and there was room for one more big flourish with the role.”

Most of the reviews have veered from good to great, encouraging news for the cast and crew of a series that had been uneven or over-the-top at times. “Everybody’s been very enthusiastic and positive,” McKenzie said. “The final season has been wrapping things up in the way the audience hoped we would.”

Gotham City is arguably the most famous city created in American popular culture since the Emerald City in The Wizard of Oz (although Metropolis, Springfield, Mayberry, Twin Peaks, and Riverdale are other prominent spots on the map of un-real estate). Even without Batman, the city zoned by greed, paved in corruption, and mapped by trauma seems to have no limits as far as its story range.

“It’s extraordinary when you think about it,” McKenzie said. “The city itself is a character. There’s a lot of stories to be found in Gotham City. There’s a lot of stories being told from Gotham, too.”

It’s true, Gotham City will be the site of Batwoman, the pilot on The CW this fall, and for a string of upcoming feature films including Joker, The Batman, and the Birds of Prey project.

Also this year: a Harley Quinn animated series and Pennyworth (a series about Batman’s loyal butler) on Epix. Pennyworth and Gothamare unconnected in their story continuity, but both are from the tandem of executive producer/writer Bruno Heller (The Mentalist) and executive producer/director Danny Cannon (CSI franchises).

A passing reference in the 2016 film Suicide Squad identified Gotham City as a major metropolitan hub in the Garden State. The city’s location had been a vague matter for decades, but now it is officially part of New Jersey’s map, and Springsteen isn’t the only local hero named Bruce.

On Gotham, the city feels more like Al Capone’s Chicago than Dracula’s Transylvania. “There’s a specific look and style that Gotham has that sets the show apart. It’s visual identity is distinctive and it was really interesting to work within that as a director.”

Has McKenzie inherited anything Gordon, anything he will take with him forward? “Maybe. We have some things in common, too. He’s living in the same city I live in, New York, but just the slightly more dramatic version.  He’s had to figure things out on the fly and his life has changed and met the love of his life and had a child. There’s a lot of similarities there. But I haven’t bought a gun and I don’t go around shooting one. And I’m more a jeans and t-shirts guy. Although Gordon’s given me an appreciation for a good suit, that’s for sure.”

McKenzie said he’s learned a lot from the creative team he’s worked with, and he believes his acting has made his directing better and vice versa, as well. There’s several new projects that looks promising for McKenzie, both as an on-screen presence and writer or director. Still, saying goodbye to Gotham has been a sentimental exercise for the man who plays the taciturn detective.

“It’s hard. I’ve been through it a couple of times before. I’ve been on two shows before, so it’s been less daunting then before. I’ve built really strong bonds with these folks. We spent more time together than we do with our families for nine months a year. It’s been a joy and a experience I will never forget. I can’t forget.  I wake up every morning to my wife and child who happened during it. So yes, it’s been a city without limits for me.”

[mylonelyangel]

Good Omens: A Study in Comedy

A couple years ago in my senior year of high school, my English teacher had told us for our last essay of the year, to pick any novel by any notable author, and write about it. I picked Good Omens cause i happened to be reading it at the time, but this essay was legit the most fun I’ve ever had writing an essay. I figured with the show coming out at @neil-gaiman being on tumblr, I might as well post it here were people might enjoy it.

Its about why Good Omens is successful as a comedy. It’s kinda long so it’s gonna go beneath a cut. But yeah here it is. (Also apologies for the formatting I cant figure out how to make this thing readable. rn it looks a lot better on desktop than mobile. Any suggestions on that are welcome)

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In the world of entertainment-- be that film, TV, literature, etc. -- comedy is hard. It’s hard to act, it’s hard to write, and it takes real talent to do comedy well. Often, comedy goes underappreciated in the professional world; however, Good Omens seems to be an exception. In writing the forward to their book, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman describe the many well-read and deteriorating copies of Good Omens that they have had the pleasure of signing. From books dropped in bathtubs and puddles, to pages being held together by packing tape, clearly, the book is well loved by many. The unique quality of this novel is that rather than a “laugh-out-loud” humor, Pratchett and Gaiman aimed for a more subtle, ironic humor adding up to a satire that teaches a lesson on the importance of humanity and compassion. All in all, Good Omens is a delightfully witty and entertaining book that is sure to please any avid reader.

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Biography

It was the year 1989 when Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett decided to combine efforts in writing Good Omens. At the time, Gaiman was 29. He was born in Hampshire UK in 1960 and grew up frequently visiting his local library, developing a life-long love for reading. After briefly pursuing a career in journalism, he soon became interested in writing comic books. The Sandman is one of Gaiman’s most notable graphic novel works. It won several awards including three Harvey Awards, nine Will Eisner Comic Industry Awards, and the 1991 World Fantasy Award for Best Short Story, becoming the first comic to every receive a literary award.  After gaining this success, Gaiman has gone on to expand his resume by working in film and television. He’s written and directed two films: A Short Film About John Bolton (2002) and Statueque (2009). Most recently, Gaiman is writing for the television series adaption of his book, American Gods, set to premier on April 30, 2017 on Starz.

Gaiman’s writing companion, Terry Pratchett, was born in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire in 1948. He had a passion for writing from a young age, publishing his first story, “The Hades Business” in his school magazine at age thirteen. Four years later at age seventeen, Pratchett dropped out of school to pursue journalism. It was in this line of work that he came into contact with his first publisher, Colin Smythe, and through him published his first book in 1971, The Carpet People. Smythe remained a close friend of Pratchett and in 1983 published the first book of Pratchett’s phenomenally successful series: Discworld. At this time, Pratchett worked for the Central Electricity Generating Board as a press officer. Four books into his Discworld series, Pratchett decided to become a full time writer. After a long and successful career, unfortunately in 2007 Pratchett was diagnosed with a rare form of Alzheimer’s called Posterior Cortical Atrophy. He lived the last years of his life very well; in 2009, he was knighted by the Queen for his services to literature and in 2013 he presented a documentary discussing the controversial topic of assisted dying. Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die won both an Emmy and a BAFTA. Despite campaigning for assisted dying, Terry did not choose to take his own life and died peacefully surrounded by family in March 2015.

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Extended Analysis

The comedy collaboration Good Omens has been deemed by many to be a great novel. Critics praise the unique blend of writing styles for making this novel a success, but to understand what makes the comedic genius of Good Omens, one must ask what precisely makes it funny. This novel is a satire; it comments on existentialist ideas surrounding humanity and the responsibility humans have over their own actions for better or for worse. In order to emphasize their novel as an unexpectedly witty and socially relevant satire, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett use several literary devices such as repetition, mood, and irony. In a remarkable world belonging to angels and demons who wish to bring about the apocalypse, the air of abnormality must be maintained throughout the novel; comedy only follows naturally.  

In order to emphasize the absurdity of the events in Good Omens, the authors often used repetition in describing people or events. Given that this book revolves around the events of Armageddon, absurdity is not hard to come by; it is precisely what enforces the satire nature of the novel. For instance, the Antichrist is first described to the reader as “a golden haired male baby we will call the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of this World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness” (Gaiman 27). Not only does the baby have this long list of titles, but he is referred to as such several more times in the next few pages. This description is a means to bring attention to the oddness of the situation and the repetition serves to emphasize it. Another interesting use of repetition is a scene in which the events of the evening are being narrated by an irritable man named R. P. Tyler; a man who not only believes himself to be the sole decider of right and wrong in the world, but that it is his responsibility to pronounce his wisdom unto others via the letter column of the Tadfield Adviser. This man is the epitome of arrogant old men and on the afternoon of Armageddon, finds himself directing several parties of odd people to the same location. In the eyes of the reader, all of the characters introduced thus far are arriving to the small English town of Tadfield for the start of the apocalypse. The events are rumored to take place at the Lower Tadfield Air Base and in succession, R. P. Tyler encounters four groups of people going to the Airfield within a span of 30 minutes (Gaiman 325-336). The result is a comedic effect that brings all separate storylines back to the same page. The repetition of events is what brought to R. P. Tyler’s attention to the odd occurrences in Tadfield. As the man met group after group, he quickly becomes more flustered and his figurative bubble of normality is cracking until Crowley’s arrival: “There was a large once-black car on fire in the lane and a man in sunglasses was leaning out the window, saying through the smoke “I’m sorry, I’ve managed to get a little lost. Can you direct me to the Lower Tadfield Air Base? I know it’s around here somewhere”” (Gaiman 334). One can safely say that after this event, R. P. Tyler no longer has a figurative bubble of normality.

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One of the highlights of Good Omens is the comical language in which it is written, setting an air for the absurd to be normalized and the mundane to receive an exaggerated retelling. An ambiance of abnormality is maintained throughout the entire novel through methods of over-explaining minute details. For instance, as the first proceedings of Armageddon are set into motion, the scene is set with the following depiction:

“It wasn’t a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that’s the weather for you. For every mad scientist who’s had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who’s sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime” (Gaiman 14).

This description of the setting contributes to a lighthearted mood despite the impending apocalypse. It feels as though the authors are making polite conversation as the story progresses, and this style of writing is used throughout the novel. Later on, a scene occurs in which a demon kills a room full of telemarketers and the aftermath is described as follows: “. . . a wave of low-grade goodness started to spread exponentially through the population and millions of people who ultimately would not have suffered minor bruises of the soul did not in fact do so” (Gaiman 308). The elegance in which that sentence is written gives the reader a sense of understanding in that the authors are not technically wrong in their description. The line is satirical and for many readers, felt on a personal level. The witty line does not fail in upholding the absurd and exceedingly nonchalant atmosphere. This style brings to light underlying truths of humanity that one may not acknowledge in a day to day basis, but are true nonetheless. Through this recognition of distinctly human emotions and struggles, Gaiman and Pratchett succeed in creating an engaging environment in which the reader is both reflective and entertained by their story.

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The irony in Good Omens lies within the ongoing discussion of humanity and the importance of free will. As Heaven and Hell prepare for Armageddon, the key to its commencement lies in the hands of the Antichrist. However, the Antichrist ends up being much more human than either side predicted. As usual, the demon Crowley and angel Aziraphale come to this conclusion long before their superiors:

““Because if I know anything,” said Crowley urgently, “it’s that the birth is just the start. It’s the upbringing that’s important. It’s the influences. Otherwise it will never learn to use its powers.” . . .

“You’re saying the child isn’t evil of itself?” [Aziraphale] said slowly.

“Potentially evil.  Potentially good, too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped.” said Crowley” (Gaiman 58).  

Given that Adam the Antichrist grew up in the absence of any supernatural influence, he naturally became a very pure and innocent child who only wanted save the environment and read conspiracy theory magazines. In fact, unaware of his power and heritage, he was involuntarily at fault for the rise of Atlantis and the visitations of aliens. His deep love for the planet also allowed for his subconscious to grow rain forests in the thick of cities and to turn 500 tons of Uranium into a lemon drop. In a book that satirizes the meanings of good and evil, it is very ironic that the Antichrist has the greatest amount of love to give. As observed by local witch, Anathema: “Something or someone loves this place. Loves every inch of it so powerfully that it shields and protects it. A deep-down, huge, fierce love. How can anything bad start here?” (Gaiman 229). It is reiterated several times throughout the book that humans are their own worst enemy. They are the ones who have free will, therefore they choose whether to act good or evil. Demons and angels have no choice in this respect. Gaiman and Pratchett make clear to their audience that humans must value their free will, spread love and live life to its fullest. If the Antichrist can do it, so can you.

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When reflecting on the comedic success of Good Omens, one can conclude that Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett are masters at their craft. This wonderfully composed work of fiction succeeds in satirizing the inner workings of human nature in that the supernatural can do no worse to humans than humans already do to themselves. Stylistically, Gaiman and Pratchett create a casual environment that highlights the absurd events by using techniques such as irony, mood, and repetition. The result is a clever and profound lesson on the importance of love in the human experience taught not by those who are human, but those who act with the most humanity.

[ciathyzareposts]

Return to Zork

Where should we mark the beginning of the full-motion-video era, that most extended of blind alleys in the history of the American games industry? The day in the spring of 1990 that Ken Williams, founder and president of Sierra On-Line, wrote his latest editorial for his company’s seasonal newsletter might be as good a point as any. In his editorial, Williams coined the term “talkies” in reference to an upcoming generation of games which would have “real character voices and no text.” The term was, of course, a callback to the Hollywood of circa 1930, when sound began to come to the heretofore silent medium of film. Computer games, Williams said, stood on the verge of a leap that would be every bit as transformative, in terms not only of creativity but of profitability: “How big would the film industry be today if not for this step?”

According to Williams, the voice-acted, CD-based version of Sierra’s King’s Quest V was to become the games industry’s The Jazz Singer. But voice acting wasn’t the only form of acting which the games of the next few years had in store. A second transformative leap, comparable to that made by Hollywood when film went from black and white to color, was also waiting in the wings to burst onto the stage just a little bit later than the first talkies. Soon, game players would be able to watch real, human actors right there on their monitor screens.

As regular readers of this site probably know already, the games industry’s Hollywood obsession goes back a long way. In 1982, Sierra was already advertising their text adventure Time Zone with what looked like a classic “coming attractions” poster; in 1986, Cinemaware was founded with the explicit goal of making “interactive movies.” Still, the conventional wisdom inside the industry by the early 1990s had shifted subtly away from such earlier attempts to make games that merely played like movies. The idea was now that the two forms of media would truly become one — that games and movies would literally merge. “Sierra is part of the entertainment industry — not the computer industry,” wrote Williams in his editorial. “I always think of books, records, films, and then interactive films.” These categories defined a continuum of increasingly “hot,” increasingly immersive forms of media. The last listed there, the most immersive medium of all, was now on the cusp of realization. How many people would choose to watch a non-interactive film when they had the opportunity to steer the course of the plot for themselves? Probably about as many as still preferred books to movies.

Not all that long after Williams’s editorial, the era of the full-motion-video game began in earnest. The first really prominent exemplar of the species was ICOM Simulations’s Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective series in 1992, which sent you wandering around Victorian London collecting clues to a mystery from the video snippets that played every time you visited a relevant location. The first volume of this series alone would eventually sell 1 million copies as an early CD-ROM showcase title. The following year brought Return to Zork, The 7th Guest, and Myst as three of the five biggest games of the year; all three of these used full-motion video to a greater or lesser extent. (Myst used it considerably less than the other two, and, perhaps not coincidentally, is the member of the trio that holds up by far the best today.) With success stories like those to look to, the floodgates truly opened in 1994. Suddenly every game-development project — by no means only adventure games — was looking for ways to shoehorn live actors into the proceedings.

But only a few of the full-motion-video games that followed would post anything like the numbers of the aforementioned four games. That hard fact, combined with a technological counter-revolution in the form of 3D graphics, would finally force a reckoning with the cognitive dissonance of trying to build a satisfying interactive experience by mixing and matching snippets of nonmalleable video. By 1997, the full-motion-video era was all but over. Today, few things date a game more instantly to a certain window of time than grainy video of terrible actors flickering over a background of computer-generated graphics. What on earth were people thinking?

Most full-motion-video games are indeed dire, but they’re going to be with us for quite some time to come as we continue to work our way through this history. I wish I could say that Activision’s Return to Zork, my real topic for today, was one of the exceptions to the rule of direness. Sadly, though, it isn’t.

In fact, let me be clear right now: Return to Zork is a terrible adventure game. Under no circumstances should you play it, unless to satisfy historical curiosity or as a source of ironic amusement in the grand tradition of Ed Wood. And even in these special cases, you should take care to play it with a walkthrough in hand. To do anything else is sheer masochism; you’re almost guaranteed to lock yourself out of victory within the first ten minutes, and almost guaranteed not to realize it until many hours later. There’s really no point in mincing words here: Return to Zork is one of the absolute worst adventure-game designs I’ve ever seen — and, believe me, I’ve seen quite a few bad ones.

Its one saving grace, however, is that it’s terrible in a somewhat different way from the majority of terrible full-motion-video adventure games. Most of them are utterly bereft of ideas beyond the questionable one at their core: that of somehow making a game out of static video snippets. You can almost see the wheels turning desperately in the designers’ heads as they’re suddenly confronted with the realization that, in addition to playing videos, they have to give the player something to actually do. Beyond Zork, on the other hand, is chock full of ideas for improving upon the standard graphic-adventure interface in ways that, on the surface at any rate, allow more rather than less flexibility and interactivity. Likewise, even the trendy use of full-motion video, which dates it so indelibly to the mid-1990s, is much more calculated than the norm among its contemporaries.

Unfortunately, all of its ideas are undone by a complete disinterest in the fundamentals of game design on the part of the novelty-seeking technologists who created it. And so here we are, stuck with a terrible game in spite of it all. If I can’t quite call Return to Zork a noble failure — as we’ll see, one of its creators’ stated reasons for making it so callously unfair is anything but noble — I can at least convince myself to call it an interesting one.

When Activision decided to make their follow-up to the quickie cash-in Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2 a more earnest, better funded stab at a sequel to a beloved Infocom game, it seemed logical to find themselves a real Infocom Implementor to design the thing. They thus asked Steve Meretzky, whom they had just worked with on Leather Goddesses 2, if he’d like to design a new Zork game for them as well. But Meretzky hadn’t overly enjoyed trying to corral Activision’s opinionated in-house developers from a continent away last time around; this time, he turned them down flat.

Meretzky’s rejection left Activision without a lot of options to choose from when it came to former Imps. A number of them had left the games industry upon Infocom’s shuttering three years before, while, of those that remained, Marc Blank, Mike Berlyn, Brian Moriarty, and Bob Bates were all employed by one of Activison’s direct competitors. Activision therefore turned to Doug Barnett, a freelance artist and designer who at been active in the industry for the better part of a decade; his most high-profile design gig to date had been Cinemaware’s Lords of the Rising Sun. But he had never designed a traditional puzzle-oriented adventure game, as one can perhaps see all too well in the game that would result from his partnership with Activision. He also didn’t seem to have a great deal of natural affinity for Zork. In the lengthy set of notes and correspondence relating to the game’s development which has been put online by The Zork Library, a constant early theme on Activision’s part is the design’s lack of “Zorkiness.” “As it stands, the design constitutes more of a separate and unrelated story, rather than a sequel to the Zork series,” they wrote at one point. “It was noted that ‘Zork’ is the name of a vast ancient underground empire, yet Return to Zork takes place in a mostly above-ground environment.”

In fairness to Barnett, Zork had always been more of a state of mind than a coherent place. With the notable exception of Steve Meretzky, everyone at Infocom had been wary of overthinking a milieu that had originally been plucked out of the air more or less at random. In comparison to other shared worlds — even other early computer-game worlds, such as the Britannia of Richard Garriott’s Ultima series — there was surprisingly little there there when it came Zork: no well-established geography, no well-established history which everybody knew — and, most significantly of all, no really iconic characters which simply had to be included. At bottom, Zork boiled down to little more than a modest grab bag of tropes which lived largely in the eye of the beholder: the white house with a mailbox, grues, Flood Control Dam #3, Dimwit Flathead, the Great Underground Empire itself. And even most of these had their origin stories in the practical needs of an adventure game rather than any higher world-building purpose. (The Great Underground Empire, for example, was first conceived as an abandoned place not for any literary effect but because living characters are hard to implement in an adventure game, while the detritus they leave behind is relatively easy.)

That said, there was a distinct tone to Zork, which was easier to spot than it was to describe or to capture. Barnett’s design missed this tone, even as it began with the gleefully anachronistic, seemingly thoroughly Zorkian premise of casting the player as a sweepstakes winner on an all-expenses-paid trip to the idyllic Valley of the Sparrows, only to discover it has turned into the Valley of the Vultures under the influence of some pernicious, magical evil. Barnett and Activision would continue to labor mightily to make Return to Zork feel like Zork, but would never quite get there.

By the summer of 1992, Barnett’s design document had already gone through several revisions without entirely meeting Activision’s expectations. At this point, they hired one Eddie Dornbrower to take personal charge of the project in the role of producer. Like Barnett, Dornbrower had been working in the industry for quite some time, but had never worked on an adventure game; he was best known for World Series Major League Baseball on the old Intellivision console and Earl Weaver Baseball on computers. Dornbrower gave the events of Return to Zork an explicit place in Zorkian history — some 700 years after Infocom’s Beyond Zork — and moved a big chunk of the game underground to remedy one of his boss’ most oft-repeated objections to the existing design.

More ominously, he also made a comprehensive effort to complicate Barnett’s puzzles, based on feedback from players and reviewers of Leather Goddesses 2, who were decidedly unimpressed with that game’s simple-almost-to-the-point-of-nonexistence puzzles. The result would be the mother of all over-corrections — a topic we’ll return to later.

Unlike Leather Goddess 2, whose multimedia ambitions had led it to fill a well-nigh absurd 17 floppy disks, Return to Zork had been planned almost from its inception as a product for CD-ROM, a technology which, after years of false promises and setbacks, finally seemed to be moving toward a critical mass of consumer uptake. In 1992, full-motion video, CD-ROM, and multimedia computing in general were all but inseparable concepts in the industry’s collective mind. Activision thus became one of the first studios hire a director and actors and rent time on a sound stage; the business of making computer games had now come to involve making movies as well. They even hired a professional Hollywood screenwriter to punch up the dialog and make it more “cinematic.”

In general, though, while the computer-games industry was eager to pursue a merger with Hollywood, the latter was proving far more skeptical. There was still little money in computer games by comparison with movies, and there was very little prestige — rather the opposite, most would say — in “starring” in a game. The actors which games could manage to attract were therefore B-listers at best. Return to Zork actually collected a more accomplished — or at least more high-profile — cast than most. Among them were Ernie Lively, a veteran supporting player best known to a generation of ten-year-old boys as Cooter, the mechanic from The Dukes of Hazzard; his daughter Robyn Lively, fresh off a six-episode stint as a minor character on David Lynch’s prestigious critic’s darling Twin Peaks; Jason Hervey, who was still playing older brother Wayne on the long-running coming-of-age sitcom The Wonder Years; and Sam Jones, whose big shot at leading-man status had come and gone when he starred in the dreadful Flash Gordon film of 1980.

If the end result would prove less than Oscar-worthy, it’s for the most part not cringe-worthy either. After all, the cast did consist entirely of acting professionals, which is more than one can say for many productions of this ilk — and certainly more than one can say for the truly dreadful voice acting in Leather Goddess of Phobos 2, Activision’s previous attempt at a multimedia adventure game. While they were hampered by the sheer unfamiliarity of talking directly “to” the invisible player of the game — as Ernie Lively put it, “there’s no one to act off of” — they did a decent job with the slight material they had to work with.

The fact that they were talking to the player rather than acting out scenes with one another actually speaks to a degree of judiciousness in the use of full-motion video on Activision’s part. Rather than attempting to make an interactive movie in the most literal sense — by having a bunch of actors, one of them representing the protagonist, act out each of the player’s choices — Activision went for a more thoughtful mixed-media approach that could, theoretically anyway, eliminate most of the weaknesses of the typical full-motion-video adventure game. For the most part, only conversations involved the use of full-motion video; everything else was rendered by Activision’s pixel artists and 3D modelers in conventional computer graphics. The protagonist wasn’t shown at all: at a time when the third-person view that was the all but universal norm in adventure games, Activision opted for a first-person view.

The debate over whether an adventure-game protagonist ought to be a blank state which the player can fill with her own personality or an established character which the player merely guides and empathizes with was a longstanding one even at the time when Return to Zork was being made. Certainly Infocom had held rousing internal debates on the subject, and had experimented fairly extensively with pre-established protagonists in some of their games. (These experiments sometimes led to rousing external debates among their fans, most notably in the case of the extensively characterized and tragically flawed protagonist of Infidel, who meets a nasty if richly deserved end no matter what the player does.) The Zork series, however, stemmed from an earlier, simpler time in adventure games than the rest of the Infocom catalog, and the “nameless, faceless adventurer,” functioning as a stand-in for the player herself, had always been its star. Thus Activision’s decision not to show the player’s character in Return to Zork, or indeed to characterize her in any way whatsoever, is a considered one, in keeping with everything that came before.

In fact, the protagonist of Return to Zork never actually says anything. To get around the need, Activision came up with a unique attitude-based conversation engine. As you “talk” to other characters, you choose from three stances — threatening, interested, or bored — and listen only to your interlocutors’ reactions. Not only does your own dialog go unvoiced, but you don’t even see the exact words you use; the game instead lets you imagine your own words. Specific questions you might wish to ask are cleverly turned into concrete physical interactions, something games do much better than abstract conversations. As you explore, you have a camera with which to take pictures of points of interest. During conversations, you can show the entries from your photo album to your interlocutor, perhaps prompting a reaction. You can do the same with objects in your inventory, locations on the auto-map you always carry with you, or even the tape recordings you automatically make of each interaction with each character.

So, whatever else you can say about it, Return to Zork is hardly bereft of ideas. William Volk, the technical leader of the project, was well up on the latest research into interface design being conducted inside universities like MIT and at companies like Apple. Many such studies had concluded that, in place of static onscreen menus and buttons, the interface should ideally pop into existence just where and when the user needed it. The result of such thinking in Return to Zork is a screen with no static interface at all; it instead pops up when you click on an object with which you can interact. Since it doesn’t need the onscreen menu of “verbs” typical of contemporaneous Sierra and LucasArts adventure games, Return to Zork can give over the entirety of the screen to its graphical portrayal of the world.

In addition to being a method of recapturing screen real estate, the interface was conceived as a way to recapture some of the sense of boundless freedom which is such a characteristic of parser-driven text adventures — a sense which can all too easily become lost amidst the more constrained interfaces of their graphical equivalent. William Volk liked to call Return to Zork‘s interface a “reverse parser”: clicking on a “noun” in the environment or in your inventory yields a pop-up menu of “verbs” that pertain to it. Taking an object in your “hand” and clicking it on another one yields still more options, the equivalent of commands to a parser involving indirect as well as direct objects. In the first screen of the game, for example, clicking the knife on a vulture gives options to “show knife to vulture,” “throw knife at vulture,” “stab vulture with knife,” or “hit vulture with knife.” There are limits to the sense of possibility: every action had to be anticipated and hand-coded by the development team, and most of them are the wrong approach to whatever you’re trying to accomplish. In fact, in the case of the example just mentioned as well as many others, most of the available options will get you killed; Return to Zork loves instant deaths even more than the average Sierra game. And there are many cases of that well-known adventure-game syndrome where a perfectly reasonable solution to a problem isn’t implemented, forcing you to devise some absurdly convoluted solution that is implemented in its stead. Still, in a world where adventure games were getting steadily less rather than more ambitious in their scope of interactive possibility — to a large extent due to the limitations of full-motion video — Return to Zork was a welcome departure from the norm, a graphic adventure that at least tried to recapture the sense of open-ended possibility of an Infocom game.

Indeed, there are enough good ideas in Return to Zork that one really, really wishes they all could have been tied to a better game. But sadly, I have to stop praising Return to Zork now and start condemning it.

The most obvious if perhaps most forgivable of its sins is that, as already noted, it never really manages to feel like Zork — not, at least, like the classic Zork of the original trilogy. (Steve Meretzky’s Zork Zero, Infocom’s final release to bear the name, actually does share some of the slapstick qualities of Return to Zork, but likewise rather misses the feel of the original.) The most effective homage comes at the very beginning, when the iconic opening text of Zork I appears onscreen and morphs into the new game’s splashy opening credits. It’s hard to imagine a better depiction circa 1993 of where computer gaming had been and where it was going — which was, of course, exactly the effect the designers intended.

https://www.filfre.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/rtz1.mp4

Once the game proper gets under way, however, modernity begins to feel much less friendly to the Zorkian aesthetic of old. Most of Zork‘s limited selection of physical icons do show up here, from grues to Flood Control Dam #3, but none of it feels all that convincingly Zork-like. The dam is a particular disappointment; what was described in terms perfect for inspiring awed flights of the imagination in Zork I looks dull and underwhelming when portrayed in the cruder medium of graphics. Meanwhile the jokey, sitcom-style dialog that confronts you at every turn feels even less like the original trilogy’s slyer, subtler humor.

This isn’t to say that Return to Zork‘s humor doesn’t connect on occasion. It’s just… different from that of Dave Lebling and Marc Blank. By far the most memorable character, whose catchphrase has lived on to this day as a minor Internet meme, is the drunken miller named Boos Miller. (Again, subtlety isn’t this game’s trademark.) He plies you endlessly with whiskey, whilst repeating, “Want some rye? Course you do!” over and over and over in his cornpone accent. It’s completely stupid — but, I must admit, it’s also pretty darn funny; Boos Miller is the one thing everyone who ever played the play still seems to remember about Return to Zork. But, funny though he is, he would be unimaginable in any previous Zork.

https://www.filfre.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/rtz3.mp4

Of course, a lack of sufficient Zorkiness need not have been the kiss of death for Return to Zork as an adventure game in the abstract. What really does it in is its thoroughly unfair puzzle design. This game plays like the fever dream of a person who hates and fears adventure games. It’s hard to know where to even start (or end) with this cornucopia of bad puzzles, but I’ll describe a few of them, ranked roughly in order of their objectionability.

The Questionable: At one point, you find yourself needing to milk a cow, but she won’t let you do so with cold hands. Do you need to do something sensible, like, say, find some gloves or wrap your hands in a blanket? Of course not! The solution is to light some of the hay that’s scattered all over the wooden barn on fire and warm your hands that way. For some reason, the whole place doesn’t go up in smoke. This solution is made still more difficult to discover by the way that the game usually kills you every time you look at it wrong. Why on earth would it not kill you for a monumentally stupid act like this one? To further complicate matters, for reasons that are obscure at best you can only light the hay on fire if you first pick it up and then drop it again. Thus even many players who are consciously attempting the correct solution will still get stuck here.

The Absurd: At another point, you find a bra. You have to throw it into an incinerator in order to get a wire out of it whose existence you were never aware of in the first place. How does the game expect you to guess that you should take such an action? Apparently some tenuous linkage with the 1960s tradition of bra burning and, as a justification after the fact, the verb “to hot-wire.” Needless to say, throwing anything else into the incinerator just destroys the object and, more likely than not, locks you out of victory.

The Incomprehensible: There’s a water wheel out back of Boos’s house with a chock holding it still. If you’ve taken the chock and thus the wheel is spinning, and you’ve solved another puzzle that involves drinking Boos under the table (see the video above), a trapdoor is revealed in the floor. But if the chock is in place, the trapdoor can’t be seen. Why? I have absolutely no idea.

The Brutal: In a way, everything you really need to know about Return to Zork can be summed up by its most infamous single puzzle. On the very first screen of the game, there’s a “bonding plant” growing. If you simply pull up the plant and take it with you, everything seems fine — until you get to the very end of the game many hours later. Here, you finally find a use for the plant you’ve been carting around all this time. Fair enough. But unfortunately, you need a living version of it. It turns out you were supposed to have used a knife to dig up the plant rather than pulling or cutting it. (The question of how it should survive even this treatment, considering you don’t plant it again in a pot or anything — much less how you can dig anything up with a knife — goes unanswered.) Guess what? You now get to play through the whole game again from the beginning.

All of the puzzles just described, and the many equally bad ones, are made still more complicated by the game’s general determination to be a right bastard to you every chance it gets. If, as Robb Sherwin once put it, the original Zork games hate their players, this game has found some existential realm beyond mere hatred. It will let you try to do many things to solve each puzzle, but, of those actions that don’t outright kill you, a fair percentage lock you out of victory in one way or another. Sometimes, as in the case of its most infamous puzzle, it lets you think you’ve solved them, only to pull the rug out from under you much later.

So, you’re perpetually on edge as you tiptoe through this minefield of instant deaths and unwinnable states; you’ll have a form of adventure-game post-traumatic-stress syndrome by the time you’re done, even if you’re largely playing from a walkthrough. The instant deaths are annoying, but nowhere near as bad as the unwinnable states; the problem there is that you never know whether you’ve already locked yourself out of victory, never know whether you can’t solve the puzzle in front of you because of something you did or didn’t do a long time ago.

It all combines to make Return to Zork one of the worst adventure games I’ve ever played. We’ve sunk to Time Zone levels of awful with this one. No human not willing to mount a methodical months-long assault on this game, trying every possibility everywhere, could possibly solve it unaided. Even the groundbreaking interface is made boring and annoying by the need to show everything to everyone and try every conversation stance on everyone, always with the lingering fear that the wrong stance could spoil your game. Adventure games are built on trust between player and designer, but you can’t trust Return to Zork any farther than you can throw it. Amidst all the hand-wringing at Activision over whether Return to Zork was or was not sufficiently Zorky, they forgot the most important single piece of the Infocom legacy: their thoroughgoing commitment to design, and the fundamental respect that commitment demonstrated to the players who spent their hard-earned money on Infocom games.  “Looking back at the classics might be a good idea for today’s game designers,” wrote Computer Gaming World‘s Scorpia at the conclusion of her mixed review of Return to Zork. “Good puzzle construction, logical development, and creative inspiration are in rich supply on those dusty disks.” None of these, alas, is in correspondingly good supply in Return to Zork.

The next logical question, then, is just how Return to Zork‘s puzzles wound up being so awful. After all, this game wasn’t the quickie cash grab that Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2 had been. The development team put serious thought and effort into the interface, and there were clearly a lot of people involved with this game who cared about it a great deal — among them Activision’s CEO Bobby Kotick, who was willing to invest almost $1 million to bring the whole project to fruition at a time when cash was desperately short and his creditors had him on a short leash indeed.

The answer to our question apparently comes down to the poor reception of Leather Goddesses 2, which had stung Activision badly. In an interview given shortly before Return to Zork‘s release, Eddie Dornbrower said that, “based on feedback that the puzzles in Leather Goddesses of Phobos [2] were too simple,” the development team had “made the puzzles increasingly difficult just by reworking what Doug had already laid out for us.” That sounds innocent enough on the face of it. But, speaking to me recently, William Volk delivered a considerably darker variation on the same theme. “People hated Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2 — panned it,” he told me. “So, we decided to wreak revenge on the entire industry by making Return to Zork completely unfair. Everyone bitches about that title. There’s 4000 videos devoted to Return to Zork on YouTube, most of which are complaining because the title is so blatantly unfair. But, there you go. Something to pin my hat on. I made the most unfair game in history.”

For all that I appreciate Volk sharing his memories with me, I must confess that my initial reaction to this boast was shock, soon to be followed by genuine anger at the lack of empathy it demonstrates. Return to Zork didn’t “wreak revenge” on its industry, which really couldn’t have cared less. It rather wreaked “revenge,” if that’s the appropriate word, on the ordinary gamers who bought it in good faith at a substantial price, most of whom had neither bought nor commented on Leather Goddesses 2. I sincerely hope that Volk’s justification is merely a case of hyperbole after the fact. If not… well, I really don’t know what else to say about such juvenile pettiness, so symptomatic of the entitled tunnel vision of so many who are fortunate enough to work in technology, other than that it managed to leave me disliking Return to Zork even more. Some games are made out of an openhearted desire to bring people enjoyment. Others, like this one, are not.

I’d like to be able to say that Activision got their comeuppance for making Return to Zork such a bad game, demonstrating such contempt for their paying customers, and so soiling the storied Infocom name in the process. But exactly the opposite is the case. Released in late 1993, Return to Zork became one of the breakthrough titles that finally made the CD-ROM revolution a reality, whilst also carrying Activision a few more steps back from the abyss into which they’d been staring for the last few years. It reportedly sold 1 million copies in its first year — albeit the majority of them as a bundled title, included with CD-ROM drives and multimedia upgrade kits, rather than as a boxed standalone product. “Zork on a brick would sell 100,000 copies,” crowed Bobby Kotick in the aftermath.

Perhaps. But more likely not. Even within the established journals of computer gaming, whose readership probably didn’t constitute the majority of Return to Zork‘s purchasers, reviews of the game were driven more by enthusiasm for its graphics and sound, which really were impressive in their day, than by Zork nostalgia. Discussed in the euphoria following its release as the beginning of a full-blown Infocom revival, Return to Zork would instead go down in history as a vaguely embarrassing anticlimax to the real Infocom story. A sequel to Planetfall, planned as the next stage in the revival, would linger in Development Hell for years and ultimately never get finished. By the end of the 1990s, Zork as well would be a dead property in commercial terms.

Rather than having all that much to do with its Infocom heritage, Return to Zork‘s enormous commercial success came down to its catching the technological zeitgeist at just the right instant, joining Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective, The 7th Guest, and Myst as the perfect flashy showpieces for CD-ROM. Its success conveyed all the wrong messages to game publishers like Activision: that multimedia glitz was everything, and that design really didn’t matter at all.

If it stings a bit that this of all games, arguably the worst one ever to bear the Infocom logo, should have sold better than any of the rest of them, we can comfort ourselves with the knowledge that Quality does have a way of winning out in the end. Today, Return to Zork is a musty relic of its time, remembered if at all only for that “want some rye?” guy. The classic Infocom text adventures, on the other hand, remain just that — widely recognized as timeless classics, their clean text-only presentations ironically much less dated than all of Return to Zork‘s oh-so-1993 multimedia flash. Justice does have a way of being served in the long run.

(Sources: the book Return to Zork Adventurer’s Guide by Steve Schwartz; Computer Gaming World of February 1993, July 1993, November 1993, and January 1994; Questbusters of December 1993; Sierra News Magazine of Spring 1990; Electronic Games of January 1994; New Media of June 24 1994. Online sources include The Zork Library‘s archive of Return to Zork design documents and correspondence, Retro Games Master‘s interview with Doug Barnett, and Matt Barton’s interview with William Volk. Some of this article is drawn from the full Get Lamp interview archives which Jason Scott so kindly shared with me. Finally, my huge thanks to William Volk for sharing his memories and impressions with me in a personal interview.)

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/return-to-zork/

[the-master-cylinder]

SUMMARY The story centers on Diana “Sugar” Hill (Bey), a photographer in Houston whose boyfriend, nightclub owner Langston (Larry D. Johnson), has been killed by mob boss Morgan (Robert Quarry) and his men when he refused to sell the club to Morgan. Sugar seeks the help of a former voodoo queen named Mama Maitresse (Zara Cully) to take revenge on Morgan and his thugs. Mama summons the voodoo lord of the dead, Baron Samedi (Don Pedro Colley), who enlists his army of zombies to destroy the men who killed Langston and now want the club. Investigating the killings is Sugar’s former boyfriend, police Lt. Valentine (Richard Lawson).

DEVELOPMENT/PRODUCTION The film, budgeted at $350,000, was shot on location in Houston at such locations as the Heights branch of the Houston Public Library (a historical landmark), used in the film as a “Voodoo Institute”. Sugar Hill was the last film Quarry did for AIP, after a run that included the Count Yorga movies. Also appearing in the film was Cully, who played Mama Jefferson on the TV show The Jeffersons. Charles P. Robinson, known for his role as Mac Robinson on NBC’s Night Court, portrayed the character of Fabulous. Hank Edds created the makeup effects for the zombies in the film.

Actress Marki Bey “researched her part among various voodoo cults in and around the L.A. environs; thereby acquiring the proper authoritative menace to make her role as a voodoo high priestess believable.”

Rumor has it that the afro-style hairdo worn by the character Diana Hill during the zombie attack sequences was because Marki Bey didn’t look “black enough” while wearing her hair flat and relaxed.

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Actor Don Pedro Colley also did extensive research in the voodoo practices from Haiti for his role as Baron Samedi. According to Colley, “This character was based more or less on the actual voodoo character that comes from Haiti…Papa Legre, who is all powerful, all omnipotent. Throughout the voodoo culture Papa Legre is the one single heavyweight dude.”

I’m supposed to be playing a voodoo god rising from the grave with an army of zombies. So I said, “Well, let me go back into my old theater bag of tricks here and do what I’m supposed to do. Let me do a lot of research.’ So I got several books from the library. One was written by two anthropologists that had studied voodoo religions around the world and another was written by a practitioner of voodoo from Haiti. This character was based more or less on the actual voodoo character that comes from Haiti. The Haitian characters name is Papa Legre, who is all powerful, all omnipotent. Throughout the voodoo culture Papa Legre is the one single heavyweight dude. My character’s name was Baron Samedi. It went through how the rituals of voodoo work. For those who believe in it, things can actually happen, good or bad. A woman hates her old man so she goes through a voodoo priestess who puts a hex on him and he ends up dying of a horrible disease or a heart attack or a car crash. By filling a glass with alcohol and burning chicken feathers and spiders and lighting incense and doing chants on a daily basis. The two scientists related voodoo rituals to others rituals that take place in other religions, such as the Catholic religion, the burning of the incense, the drinking of the blood, the wafer, the bread of God. These are rituals that are really taken right out of voodoo rituals. And relating the singing from the Baptist or Episcopalian or Presbyterian religions, even the Muslims and the Sikhs, all of the rituals all had a basis in the early African voodoo tribal religion that came west from the tribes of Africa when the slaves were brought. So I said, ‘I’ve now got all this information. I’m going to make Baron Samedi scary, boy is he going to be scary.””

Robert Quarry reflects on making “Sugar Hill”. The producer and the director Paul Maslansky were both white, and, of course, it was an all-black movie. They had a black actor set for the part, but they got rid of him, and Sam sent me in to take the part. So I walked in as ‘Mr. Whitey’ to play the head of the Mafia in Houston, which is where they shot it. I didn’t give a shit. They paid me. And during the shoot, my rich white friends in Houston wouldn’t call me because they thought I’d bring somebody black to lunch with me. The racism was that subtle. And, of course, they hired so many blacks for the movie, and here I was saying things like ‘nigger’ and ‘jig’ and ‘jungle bunny.’ The extras who weren’t actors were going to kill me because they thought I was a big racist. But I won them over eventually. And we all laughed so hard. I’d tell them all on the set, ‘Okay, easy fellas, get ready because I’m going to say the ‘n’ word again.” One of the locations was this mansion that looked like it had been abandoned for a hundred years. It even had an elevator in it. It had been abandoned for ten or fifteen years. The place was full of cobwebs and dust, it was really quite neat. The only thing I objected to is, here I am starring in this movie and I’m being treated like a peon. Here they are paying me 750 dollars a week and I’m starring in this bloody mess. Union law states that when the performers travel, they travel first class and they stay in a first class hotel and when they work on the set they have a first class dressing room. In Houston, I didn’t have any dressing room. It was like 95% humidity. It was 95 degrees every day. They were talking about having me stand behind a car in the street to change clothes. Forget it! So I went out and rented a forty foot motor home and I drove it to the set and the producer went bugo, he went off – ‘You can’t do that! You can’t drive that here! We have to put a union driver on that. We have to pay the union drivers a thousand a week and…’ And I said, ‘Wait a minute. Are you telling me that a driver of my motor home makes more money a week than I do and I’m starring in this piece of shit!?” I said, ‘I’m going to keep this until you provide me with a dressing room and in the mean time I’m calling the union and letting them know exactly what you people are doing down here.’ That’s what they did at American International. They exploited everybody.

The performers playing the zombies in Sugar Hill wore ping pong balls cut in half over their eyes, creating the cartoonish, yet eerie effect. Other sources say the eyes were created with broken-off spoon halves.

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SCORE/SOUNDTRACK

Supernatural Voodoo Woman Written by Dino Fekaris & Nick Zesses Sung by The Originals

CAST/CREW Directed Paul Maslansky

Produced Elliot Schick

Written Tim Kelly

Marki Bey as Diana Hill Robert Quarry as Morgan Don Pedro Colley as Baron Samedi Betty Anne Rees as Celeste Richard Lawson as Valentine Zara Cully as Mama Maitresse Charles P. Robinson as Fabulous Larry D. Johnson as Langston Rick Hagood as Tank Watson Ed Geldart as O’Brien Albert J. Baker as George Raymond E. Simpson, III as King Thomas C. Carroll as Baker Big Walter Price as Preacher

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Fangoria#64 Psychotronic Video#31 Psychotronic Video#33 TCM

Sugar Hill (1974) Retrospective SUMMARY The story centers on Diana "Sugar" Hill (Bey), a photographer in Houston whose boyfriend, nightclub owner Langston (Larry D.

[angels-property]

Realty Stories that Show You How!

Let's begin easing you actually out of the pits. I mean, comfort zone! I'm going to slowly and carefully give you as many little sparks and insights to the not hard ways that ordinary people use real estate to achieve extraordinary outcome. Stories are the best spark plugs. They let you gently observe from a safe, secure and understandable view place. I will write to answer most of the questions that I experience I myself would ask if I was reading everything you are about to read. I want you to know something belonging to the very start of this report and that something is this unique: I care about you and I sincerely mean that. I seriously do want you to move to a new comfort zone, one that can be pleasurable and free from fear. A place where you realize you will have the power to achieve greater things than you currently can see right now. It's possible for you to start being a more powerfully directed purpose-driven individual who is well organized and on track to higher achievement. You are likely to change and grow, slowly and steadily with each page you read. With every thought and understanding you gain, your desire and courage will grow at the same time. Napoleon Hill wrote one of the greatest books of all time. It's referred to as "Think and Grow Rich. " The essence of these book, the secret it reveals time and again is this: you ought to develop a burning desire. Don't put this book downward thinking the previous statement is cliché and that you previously knew that! I am simply leading you to my then point, the next point being is - your hope needs a starting point. So to start developing desire, my technique is you must have a purpose. Why do you want to pursue real estate? I do know what you're thinking: to make money, to have security, that will feel useful and appear successful. Good points. I concur you can have all of that and more if that is what you desire. Currently here is something that comes before any of those things you desire. What's the purpose of all those things? Purpose, purpose, purpose... you need to very first define purpose before you get the things. My purpose, roughly I thought early in my career, was to move up to a nicer house and have my first house become my own first rental property. When I moved up to the next you, I quickly learned as soon as I rented it outside, I was in some way responsible for creating happiness and safety in the life of another person that was of no regards to me. It soon was evident to me how the selections I made in choosing that first property either could help me or hurt me in my quest to achieve the real estate investment business. All of it is cumulative, all you do and how you do it adds up. It compounds its own matters and it either makes your life easier or more difficult. My goal is to give you experiences that you can learn from that will make your life much easier; I am going to show you how. That is my purpose. The arrange that gave me the unknowing courage to take this first steps in real estate was a book labeled "How I Turned $1000 into $3 Million through real estate in my spare time" by William Nickerson. The person was a master storyteller and by osmosis, once reading his book, I found myself gravitating towards the home classified section of my Sunday paper. Eventually I jumped and my life had changed. It was an FHA property foreclosure, a two-bedroom, one-bath home with a built-in, screened-in group, with a Jacuzzi and a built-in sprinkler system. I bought the software for $46, 000 and used the HUD 203K rehab program to fix it up. I spent $16, 000 to update and make repairs. They then gifted me one loan for a total of $62, 000. It took me three months to complete it and Document was in; I had done it! My life changed, I realized, I took the leap. From then on I had confidence. I needed already had my first home but now I did two. Well, I was in the Coast Guard together with wouldn't you know, three months later we moved. Uncle Sam had me out of St. Petersburg, Florida and dropped others in Kodiak, Alaska, for my next tour about duty. Well guess what? I was armed with ambition, courage, confidence and just enough knowledge to be considered threatening, so I bought a duplex as soon as I came on land on Kodiak Island. Now I had three dwellings and additionally my relationships and responsibilities were growing with your new tenants counting on me to provide a clean, purposeful and pleasing environment for them to exist in. It seemed like this: My mother rented my first house in addition to an elderly couple rented the second one and a duplex came with an existing tenant who was a hospital officer, so I was lucky. I was able to ease myself towards the role of landlord without getting burned early into my career. I now had two houses and a duplex in the span of about one year. My brothers and some other sorts of family members took notice and were pretty well dumbfounded. Individuals couldn't figure out how I had, all of a sudden, become a real estate wizard. It all felt good to make that change in so quite short a time. I got that from reading a book! And also my friend is how you are going to do the majority of everything you achieve in real estate, by reading and taking steps closer to duplicating the success of others in a repeatable structure. The key is to understand that you can do it if you read the ideal books and apply the very basic formulas that are passed to you. There lies in: Magic Bullets in Real Estate This is usually a common man or woman's real estate manual. William Nickerson never gave me anything so easy as "Magic Principal points! " So I learned trial by fire and it has also been very gratifying. I've since went on to collect 17 real estate, 23 tenants, 2 real estate licenses in Florida along with Alaska, an assistant appraiser's certificate and over a one hundred dollars books on real estate. I just kept learning and maturing and gaining momentum for the last 13 years. I am however in the Coast Guard, too, and I work at Ak One Realty in my spare time. In two more numerous years, I will be retired at the ripe old age of 42. May sound like a sort of fairytale, doesn't it? Don't let me fool an individual. It's hard work and I'm still not a millionaire, yet I want you to have the truth, so I will be honest along every step of the way. I know why I am an excellent millionaire and here is why. I would periodically sell real estate that was going up in value and paying for itself because of the rent checks. But being in the Coast Guard would most likely dislocate me every four years, so I found ourselves selling out in order to avoid being what is called "an absentee landlord. " This is an important lesson for you. It has prevented me from becoming a millionaire up to this point. The tutorial is: find an area on this planet that you could and will inhabit, and stay close to it. Don't move more than 10 miles from your farm area. The farm area is definitely where all your properties are located. Long distance "land lording" might be tough! It can be done but you lose the ability to control your situation compared to if you were there. I've served my country and even saved people's lives, so for me it has not been in vain. I have no regrets but if you don't have to get away from your area of expertise, don't! The networks you develop and the contacts you build, in the process of "doing" property, are so valuable that when they are no longer at your disposal, it puts you at a serious disadvantage. Not to mention when you step you have to acclimate yourself to an entirely different market, build latest trust-based relationships and start all over again. It's like a treadmill you're going to be running and running, however it gets you nowhere. I had used it to my advantage. I have been forced towards accelerate my abilities to rapidly duplicate my achieving success whenever I am moved, but it is still an uphill combat. My point: Don't move too far from your farm or even your network of bankers, appraisers, carpenters, tradesman, housing, friends, tenants and so on. Once you have the skill you can redundant your success anywhere you go but if you don't have to be... enough said on that! I like to say, "Don't advertise the goose to get the eggs. " What that means is certainly if you need money to buy more property, use equity creases from other property to do it. You will get the same amount of cash or more by using an equity line as if you sold the idea. However , you get to keep the asset and the money! I go deep into this in "Magic Bullets, " so I won't drone on here. Just know you don't have to sell your property to see the cash out of them. So here we are. You know a little about me and you may have picked up a nugget or simply two. Let's find a few more. There once was men who wanted to buy some investment property, so what the guy did was look at growth patterns. You should do this at the same time, by going to your city's planning and zoning department. You will discover growth patterns and you definitely want to buy property that is an acronym in the way of growth. This is how he used what he discovered. He saw that city planners had decided which a new artery (highway) would benefit their city by just creating linkage to another city about 100 miles at a distance, so being a smart investor he only went in as much as a ten mile limit to be able to be close to your partner's investment. Now on average, new growth will radiate out from existing prosperous cities in the direction it is planned for a price of about one mile per year. So our smart individual had a 10 - 12 year plan to hard cash out in about 10 - 12 years. Exactly what he did was buy, I believe, 10 acres connected with commercially zoned property very cheaply because there was basically no demand at the time. He bought it, fenced it in, deal some lights and a gate, and held onto which usually little bugger. Now that new highway was coming this way and the good folks, through their taxes, was paying to have it built. It didn't take long for the heavy equipment to start cutting a swath when it comes to his fenced-in storage facility and when they got shut enough to him, he started renting out a good secure area for everything, from road cones in order to generators to backhoes. You name it - it had been stored there. This more than paid his land down. Now the men and their equipment eventually moved further down the trail but they left a completed highway behind them. And guess what? Low and behold, individuals started driving on it, and then started buying property to set up houses on to get away from the city. Since the new highway seemed to be a straight shot into town, ten miles through was breeze. Well, of course, here comes the herd and everyone is just populating the whole darned area. As well as within ten years, residential housing surrounds Mr. Investor, and will you guess what he's got? Yep, a prime part of commercial property, 10 acres large. So in accordance with her 10-12 year plan, he sells his storage option to make room for the new office/business park complex designed for over $2, 000, 000. That, my friend, is perception, and the sooner you get a clear picture of what it will be that you want to specialize in, the sooner you can retire to the of the islands. How hard was that? Don't tell me it's hard to do it, you can! I'm here to help you. I'm going to give you secrets and techniques no one else dares. Do you ever wonder why people will not tell you the secrets? Of course you already know this but I'm going to tell you anyway. It is because they are operating on a scarcity attitude, as though there won't be any left for them. Or whenever learn something and act on it, you will get ahead and possess a great life. Well, misery loves company and quiet oppression is the rule. Here's a little story that low quality real estate agents won't appreciate either but I'm going to tell that to you anyway. The reason I can tell it is because there are some amazing real estate agents out there who absolutely don't fear what Now i'm about to tell you and would let you know it if they happen to be in my position. Here's the deal: Some agents want to be for instance the Wizard of Oz . They want to create the appearance of selling and transacting real estate as being technical and very legal, a new deep dark mystery. Well, it's not! The truth be told, you possibly can write a contract on a napkin and it would give a presentation in court. I will emphasize here that you write for that napkin along with the terms of your agreement, "The words and phrases set forth on this here napkin are subject to my lawyer's approval. " An attorney will cover you completely for around $750. 00. Prices may vary, however that is an average home contract. There is a lot I am leaving out here but our point is this: If you own property, you can market it anyway you want. "Magic Bullets" will teach you. We will move on. Exposure is the key to finding buyers and owners in real estate. If a property is priced fairly not to mention everyone who is looking for that type of property knows that should be in the availability pool, it will be found and the transaction will probably proceed as advertised. Price it right, advertise the application properly and let the lawyer take care of the details. No fee, just a flat fee. Period. Now that I have that off my personal chest, I will tell you a story about Dan, a 21-year old friend of mine, and his wife and also their new baby. He's a hardworking guy who does an individual's work without complaint and all the other "workers" pick in him for working so hard. Can you believe this? The other guys are so insecure and lazy construct y make fun of a guy who is doing the work of two to three men, mainly of the three who are ridiculing him. Nicely, believe me, this doesn't go unnoticed by me plus I take him under my wing. Dan hopes to buy a house, so I begin the process of saving them years of trial by fire and save your man $25, 000 at no charge. That is because he deserved great help. Anyway, here is the story: I began with the pup by asking him what type of home he thought yet be comfortable with and a price range. He indicated a 3-bedroom for around $100, 000. Knowing what he wanted as well as knowing the area, I was able to take him shopping for the place he was looking for. Now I always go after the "For Selling by Owner" homes first because I know they won't possibly be adding any commission figure into their price, because they will never be paying one. So at 6% of $100, 000 he will get $6, 000 more "house" for his particular precious dollar. I also told him besides the "For Sale by Owner" homes, we would be looking at oddball discount companies that help distressed sellers further spend the their money and property. The mentality of a dealer who uses cheesy companies to help them sell their property is pennywise and pound-foolish. If you're going to use individuals, then get a professional. So off we go. After a day or so, we have found our house. Sure enough, El Cheeso Inc. has a sign on it. The screen doors are actually flapping in the breeze, the weeds are dancing within the lawn, but this house is indeed a 3-bedroom, 2-bath, 1-car garage with a fenced yard and it's selling regarding $110, 000. Well, due to the fact that there is a divorce in progress, and a new girlfriend who doesn't like the place, and El Cheeso Inc. giving no representation, I settle for Dan and he gets it for $99, 000. What's so great about this deal is this very same floor plan in another house was for sale across town, on the same street, for $25, 000 more. The ethical of the story is good things come to those who deserve the item, and that is another key to real estate. You must work very hard so others will take notice of you and enable you to succeed. Here's a beauty for you. This is about being on whistler grand circles and keeping your eyes and hearing open and often times your "yapper" closed. This is the adventure of Brian and Julie. Here we have two industrious souls. They have been married for 20 years and they have weathered the storms of matrimony. Julie works at a real estate property office as an office manager. No real estate license, however she works at an office that sells plenty of waterfront property. So we are talking about location and staying in the right place at the right time, and below comes a seller in the door of the office documenting she is going to sell her older waterfront home. She is ready to take $180, 000. Julie tells Brian, they look at it and sure enough, this pearl is right on the water. She gets a gem waiting to be polished up, so Brian and Julie sell their condominium and move in. Very well, they aren't making any more waterfront property, so John goes to work polishing this jewel up. Now, they've bought this house under market value in an appreciating market. So about one and a half years later, the property is worth over $350, 000 and still climbing. Most certainly, Brian is no dummy, so he gets to know his / her neighborhood. He strolls, takes walks and notices, one guessed it, a vacant, neglected jewel on an within double lot. He tracks down the elderly lady, who's going to be living with her sister, through the county records office together with buys the house, including the extra lot, for a total for $120, 000. Now Brian can walk to his or her new "jewel" and he starts polishing it. Typically the neighbors start noticing and are amazed at his put up. He has offers of $180, 000, $200, 000 and additionally $60, 000 for just the lot. You name them. Now that the exposure is there, everyone wants a piece of it again. Well, this is what Brian did. He rented his 1st house out, moved into the second one and utilised plans that I gave to him to build a third residential home on the vacant lot, using the equity he accumulated from first house that went up so much. And listed below is how this thing shakes out: $180, 000 intended for his first house and it's value goes up to $365, 000; he picked up the next jewel for $120, 000 and he paid cash using the equity from the first of all house. Now he takes out a new mortgage on the second house for $120, 000 and builds still another. The value at last count was $815, 000 and she owed a grand total $300, 000. That's a 1 / 2 million-dollar profit in 5 years! Now what really does this story tell us? #1 - it says, "work hard"; #2 - keep your eyes open; #3 - use equity lines; #4 - don't sell; #5 - learn how to be a landlord; #6 - be in locales that appreciate; #7 - buy things that are constrained in availability; #8 - know how to research owners in addition to repair property; #9 - get your partner's help (spouse); #10 - use knowledgeable friends to help you see future (I gave him the plans and advised your pet not to sell anything! ). Can you get any more instructions out of this story? I'm sure you can. Just read it once more and think on it. Jot down your ideas and put the crooks to work. Real estate is not that hard, folks! You can do it. Along with a few magic bullets, some spark plugs and a great mentor to show you how, you can do it too! Let me you and me talk for just a minute here, OK! Have you ever long been really good at something and been able to step to come back and see the whole thing for what it is was? You just comprehend exactly how to do it and you can see the end result clearly mentally before you start. It's predictable to you. It's almost second makeup, so you are comfortable doing it. It's almost become unexciting to you; your comfort zone is such that you can do it into your sleep. I've gotten that way with certain types of properties and I see people everyday that are so terrified of taking the first step that they are literally paralyzed. They produce excuses and put it off, and rationalize and live any quiet life of desperation. They don't trust themselves and so of the unknown they can't trust anyone else either. This is a horrible cycle because the longer they wait the more it reinforces their beliefs. I just want to grab them by the back of the shirt, take them to the bank and make them tell the bank, "Pre-qualify me! " Then walk them out the entranceway and show them how to do something that will change their daily life forever, and that is to buy the first property, and then a second. Therefore their fear is gone and they grow to be of service to make sure you everyone who is ready for their assistance. Let me tell you this: When you have finish reading the rest of this report and you read the "Magic Bullets" book, your fears will be subdued and you will want to do something and your life will change. If you cannot succeed with what I am motive on showing you, then something is not right. I feel your desire would be your major obstacle, so in that case, read "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Slope and come back to me then. Let's get back to real estate coaching, shall we? Do you know who the largest commercial real estate operator in the U. S. is? It's McDonalds Corporation. Yes, and on top of that, they also have the most valuable locations for their particular business. The research they do on demographics and website visitors counts is unparalleled! If you were ever going to clear a fast food restaurant, just put it near a McDonalds. You would survive just on the volume of people who flock or maybe pass by the location that McDonalds has already decided meets the critical data to support their restaurant business. Your eating place, if you had good food and service, would grow. Just sell something a little different than McDonalds. That's profiting someone else's expertise in evaluating a location for a certain types of real estate. Now that is a principle and principles are want natural laws. A natural law always works in every issue in its own way. It's like gravity - it all always works! Here on earth, anyway. So in realty it doesn't matter what type it is, whether it's commercial, residential, industrial as well as recreational. Look for signs that serious market studies have already been undertaken by major operators and buy things that can achieve the presence of those concerns. For instance, let's use Place Depot as an example. If Home Depot decides to build at a site, every residential lot within a mile of that brand new center will be bought up as soon as the Home Depot commits to build! Why? Because smart investors know that Home Depot has done the market study and the area will be a prosperous one particular. On top of that, it will provide jobs, it will pay taxes, it may provide materials to actually build the neighborhoods with, and the ones will shop there once their houses are built. An identical goes for Wal-Mart, Lowe's and other smart business concerns. You will or may not have noticed this but take a look the next time you are driving around. Here is what you should see. As you travel into cities from the suburbs, you'll notice donut boutiques, gas stations with convenience coffee centers, bagel shops, along with etcetera, on the side of the road that people travel to on their method into the city to go to work. These are morning activity enterprise centers. Now on your way home, out of the city, you will see places to eat that cater to the evening meal crowd: KFC, Taco Bell, Subway and Pizza Hut. That's because people will not go there for breakfast. They get it on their technique home, outbound from the city at night. If you put the restaurant on the wrong side of the road, you could be at home huge strategical error. Think! Location, location, location as they say, are the 3 most important things in real estate. That is a very true statement. With residential property, that boils down to safeness, security and convenience. So buy homes in decent neighborhoods, cul-de-sacs preferably. No noise or through visitors, no escape routes for thieves, and a private positioning, where kids play in the street without getting run down. Safety = close to hospitals, police and fire protection for the purpose of obvious reasons. Convenience = stores, gas stations, restaurants, enterprises, parks and recreation and access to major highways for you to circulate or evacuate if necessary. You might get a great deal about the piece of properly but if it takes you a half 60 minute block to get a loaf of bread. What kind of resale will which will great deal offer? Another great deal may back up to or possibly face a busy street. That's often a poor decision as well... noise, pollution, the loss of privacy and curb draw are all factors here. The two best types of property to obtain are: 1 . Property that no one else knows is ideal for sale! Why? Because you have no competition. 2 . Property normally wants! You just have to figure out why people don't want to buy. If you can turn that lemon into lemonade through numerous problem solving, that jewel may just shine because you employed the right magic polish. In real estate, you get paid if you solve problems. That is a fact! Here is a golden nugget available for you. If you do this, it will catapult your real estate investment career. That i guarantee you will gain more insight to real estate therefore one thing than just about anything else you could possibly do. The glowing nugget is this: Take a real estate appraisal course. It may fly by, a few weekends and it's over, but the perception and the information you gain from the class is priceless. The software gives you vision, ideas and understanding. You will have an edge through every other investor who has not done it. I had the instructor, who by some stroke of luck, I just was privileged to be taught by. His name is without a doubt Steven V. and he is truly a genius. This guy could create millions if he applied himself to real estate investment though he chooses to teach and give back to others in that way. He could be very comfortable in life and money is a by-product for Steven. When I finished the class, I had appraisers wanting to hire me to go to work. Now I won't want to work as an appraiser. I just want to think including one and that is why I took that four-weekend tutorial. That class taught me more than both of my best real estate licensing courses combined. The reason for that is real estate courses deal with state laws, contracts, regulations and ethics. Value determination focuses on evaluating real estate and that is what you want to learn as an real estate investor. A real estate license can actually hold you back as a result of being a savvy investor and here's why: #1 : You have to announce to every seller that you are an agent. It will be an ethics rule and a disclosure law. Well, currently the seller is on guard for all kinds of reasons so you waste precious time overcoming negative reactions. #2 - When you attend sell your real estate, the same things apply but grow that scenario the fact that if you make large profits regarding property that you sell, people can come after you, saying a person took advantage of them because of your expertise. And they be successful! So you don't need to go to college for 4 years and also don't need a real estate license. What you do need is actually a guy like me to convince you to go to value determination school and read books like the one you have at this time. Then go out and do it, using a lawyer to protect you will every step of the way. Again, here is a good indicate make. Simply weave into every agreement or deliver make the following statement: This entire agreement is subject to my attorney's approval. I can't stress that enough. It is one line of text. That covers it all. It presents time to investigate deals. It protects your interests and even keeps you from getting burned in this business. Right here are a couple more beauties that I use to protect myself and you ought to too. These are used with initial purchase offers: 1 . Ready to pay X amount of dollars or appraised value, any is less. (That says, "I'm only going to spend so much but if the appraisal is lower than what I proposed, than I am going to get it for the lower price. I don't get scorched! ) 2 . Subject to my partner's approval. (My mate was always my wife, and if she didn't like it, the deal was null and void, cancelled, over, kaput, finito. ) Now nothing says my partner wasn't the dog, so if there's no fire hydrant, well the offer could be off. Those are examples of escape clauses that may be abused to the point of being called "weasel clauses. " Do not be a weasel! They give you a short period of time to have the option to order something first with the right to cancel the deal, contingent on something or someone else's decision. I use them to protect personally and to get a little time to do my research on the building. Don't use them to unfairly tie a seller's hands. Possibly be fair and try to move quickly when you do utilize them. What you are doing is creating a short time, zero-cost option to buy real estate. Here is a little trick and I avoid the use of it very often but it can be used in a fair manner i really will give you the nugget. When you write an offer purchasing property, on the top line of the contract is a line the fact that indicates who the buyer is. On that line in a few cases, I will write my name plus the words and / or assigns, like this: Buyers: Dan Auito or assigns The things that word "assigns" does is this: it permits me to sell by assigning my right to buy the place to someone else. Dirty dealers will take advantage of people with who word if they can get away with it. Here's where We'd use it. In real estate, a lot of bargain hunters look for distressed property. You know, the fixer-uppers, the abandoned, condemned, fire-damaged stuff. I go a step further and look for affected sellers such as death, divorce, relocation, but a lot of times My spouse and i don't specialize in that type of property. That's OK if it's a steal and I get it for 40 -- 50% off, I will assign it to someone who does deal in that type of property and make a profit by determining it. I'll always ask the distressed seller should that is a problem and if it is, I will buy it downright, then flip it but it costs more to do that. Therefore I'll explain this to the seller and get their agreement to use it. I don't slip it in about them. You will have a miserable existence if you practice real estate by deceit. Natural law will crush you; play fair! Goal, passion and desire cannot be achieved or acquired by simply deceit. That's a quotable quote. I hope you remember the software. Let's get on with another story. This illustrates a second fine example for you. This story is about a family what person had business interests outside of real estate investing and as a result from the successes of their other businesses they had fairly large sums of money to play real estate like a monopoly adventure. Power can be dangerous in the wrong hands! So listed here we go. This flush with cash family perceives an opportunity to take advantage of an overlooked or left alone markets. That market is the old-fashioned trailer park, or shall we say Mobile Home Park. Anyway, the way almost all mobile home parks came into existence was this: Usually a person of integrity and strong work ethic coupled with a fabulous love for his fellow man would buy a parcel suitable to the placement of mobile homes. As people gone in, he and his wife would welcome individuals and the neighbors would greet them and the community may become established. The private owner would dig his own sewer lines and cut his own roads and scenery the park. Maybe put in the clubhouse complete with an important swimming pool, shuffleboard, pool table and meeting hall. Because time marched on, the residents bonded with each other along with a family-friendly community took root. Well this man in integrity had a problem. Since all of his tenants will be his friends, he is pressured not to raise the lot rent with inflation. So the rents over the years are kept suprisingly low in the park and now this man and his partner are getting old. Perfect timing for our investors to come bumping and offer our private aging park owner a three million dollar price for his 10 acres regarding mobile home lots. This is a once in a lifetime deliver and many park owners cashed out. What people didn't notice was these investors were systematically and methodically the process all over the place and once they cashed out as many mom not to mention pops as they could, they lowered the boom. At this time they the investors had control of many parks from the same areas and they started raising the lot rental prices. You see, they didn't have any emotional ties towards the residents and they didn't live there, so it was an easy business deal: either pay the new higher rent or perhaps move. The residents said, "To hell with you fresh owner, we are moving. " "Well, fine, go ahead, " they said. Now the residents started calling all-around to find another park with low rents but think who owned those? Yep, our investors did, and others lot rents were going up too. So the mom and also pops who didn't sell were full and it would certainly cost on average of about $7, 000 to relocate to a different one park even if they could find a vacancy. The old folks that had it so good for so long were faced with the latest reality and that was that they had no choice and yet to pay up or move, and moving, in many cases, wasn't an option. These investors exploited a complete segment of the current market and made millions and millions in profit and continue to achieve today. It wasn't long after this happened that you began seeing signs saying, "This is a resident owned group. " People eventually got smart and started selecting that little lot that their trailer was placed on and they began paying association dues for the club and security and grounds, maintenance and road fix. The good ole days are nothing but a fond storage. Life goes on but America did not change for the more effective as a result of these types of people. Their only purpose was to help with making money; I believe they will die alone and in anguish as a result of their way of life. So I ask you again, on earth do you be passionate and put your heart into purchasing real estate by investing the way our corporate investors does? I think not. Money is no good when you get it through deceitful ways. I encourage you to work at balancing your own objectives. Lease optioning, flippers... you are walking a fine series. Here's a flip side to communal living. This tale is a happier scenario, so let's have a little happiness here. I once lived in Key West plus I lived off base. Well, I thought When i lived next door to Noah, and it sounded as though the person was building another ark. All summer long, hammers and saws seemed to be making some type of racket, so of course being the neighbor I was, I got to know the person next door. He never went to work and I quizzed him one day, "Don't you have a job and he somewhat grinned and put his hammer down and this will be Mark's story. Mark and his brother were out of your Northeast and they had a 30-room boarding house pertaining to college kids there, at something like $300. 00 a calendar month. That was about $9, 000 a month and they made typically the parents responsible for the rent payments. Mark would commit his time with his family in the Keys for the on the lookout for months that school was in session. His brother was initially a local up North and he took care of your toilets, faucets, doors and windows. Yes, they had their very own animal house hold going on there, but Mark factored in the abuse as well as would spend 2 - 3 months a year, putting your pet house back together while the animals went home just for summer break. Mark only worked three months a year as well as house (ark) that he built next to us was the masterpiece; it was beautiful. He was a master craftsman and he loved his work and spent loads of his time with his family in a wonderful climate. Makes you kind of jealous, doesn't it? Well, don't let it books can do it, too, but you must get started. Mark was basically 45 when I met him. I believe he was twenty five when he got started, so my advice to your account is to get started now!

[almightytallestvoldy]

Aaaaand it seems I didn’t upload Voldemort’s birthday picture from last year either.

“So here we are again. Another new year, and another New Year’s Eve spent celebrating Voldemort’s birthday for me. It’s one of three times in the year (now instead of two, but we’re yet to see the fruit of that labor) where I FORCE myself to make absolutely SURE that I do a piece of art. When I started thinking about what I wanted to do for this year’s picture, I remembered the one major Harry Potter (Voldemort specific, actually) event that took place this year; Harry Potter ALBUS POTTER and the Cursed Child.

(Skip the Italics rant to get on to the art description)

While I have no idea if the general populous even accepts that entry as canon, particularly because of some literally IMPOSSIBLE things in it, and I myself found a great deal of anger and disappointment in the installment, there were a few shining points of wonder and glory, one of those being, imo, our new addition, Delphini Diggory RIDDLE. This is one of those things I’m referring to. There is NO WAY she could exist, at least as stated. No one was aware of her existence, despite the fact that she was apparently born in Draco Malfoy’s house and to his aunt Bellatrix. You’d think that’d have been a detail that would’ve been mentioned when Harry, Ron, and Hermione were captured and in the Malfoy Manor, or, you know, something Draco would’ve known about. So there is no way that’s a true thing. But one thing that definitely comes to mind is the fact that Delphi herself didn’t even know of her own heritage, and didn’t find out until Rudolphus Lestrange somehow managed to get the information to her. Personally I believe it was a final act of loyalty to Voldemort to make sure his child knew her background, and a final act of loyalty to his wife to make that child believe she was Bella’s. I have serious doubts that Voldemort would ever mix his genes with anyone so annoying or mentally unstable. I’d have to see some serious explanations and background of the build up or whatever before I’d buy that noise. But all the same, I love Delphi. I love her sooooooooo much. She, Albus, and Scorpius were the only good things about that toilet paper roll they called an official next installment. I love her for multiple reasons. First and foremost, she validates even the possibility of my own OC’s existence. Secondly, she’s almost an exact carbon copy of her. Delphi is certainly more unstable (which would be the only thing that would make me believe that she’s Bella’s), but that aside, their motivation and behavior are pretty much identical. Delphi’s speech towards the end of the book was almost word for word something that my Vivian had said in various RPs and fanfics. It’s hard not to love a character that I have both already gotten attached to through my own writings, and that puts egg on everyone’s face that ever made fun of me for my idea. Yeah, it’s still a pretty Mary-Sue-ish idea, but now it’s a CANONICAL Mary-Sue-ish idea. I’d like an apology from all those people that judged it so viciously, thank you very much. I’ll pass out numbers, and then you can all line up and I’ll call you to the desk.

ANYWAYS, my heart goes out to Delphi, almost as much as it does to Voldemort himself. She just wanted to know her father, who’s known no earthly love or affection that we’ve ever been privy to. She, too, has spent her life alone and neglected. She was raised in such a way that I know would absolutely enrage Voldemort. She never even went to Hogwarts! She was robbed of the experience he treasured above all others! Of social interaction! Of a standardized, varied education! It’s just the ongoing injustice of the Riddle family. And then they had to go and have her kill somebody and vilify her, too, when this could’ve been a chance for redemption after the massive negligence from virtually every character in the series. Seriously, I could argue a case for everyone, don’t get me started.

So basically now that I’ve got that off my chest, I’ll get back to the actual art. For a while, I considered doing a picture of just Voldemort and Delphi. I wanted to grant them both some respite from their cursed lives. Like, if in just one universe, somewhere out there (which is to say, my cathartic art), that they could be together, and on Voldemort’s birthday, I just thought that would be great. But why even stop there? If I’m talking about my own universe that I have created (now along with @blissomquisling as well), why not include my own OC, who just gained a sister? Or her mother for that matter? Well, the simple answer is that I could think of no reason why not. It seemed wholly appropriate for an updated family photo.

Without further ado:

Left: Delphi. I used the only picture of her that seems to exist for reference: https://goo.gl/images/6CTKAf I tried to make her seem very content at realizing her fondest ambition.

Top-Center: Vivian. Anyone who’s followed me closely for years will recognize my second oldest OC. She’s positively delighted for this influx of family that all love her father. It’d just been her and Nagini for so long. Obviously their ages don’t actually reflect well together. Delphi was apparently born some time in 1998, while (default) Vivian was born in 1980.

Center: I don’t think I really need to say who that is. He’s really having a hard time processing all of this positive attention. But HE was the one foolish enough to believe he could get away with sitting alone on a LOVEseat in a room full of people who LOVE him. Come on, tho, really … He kinda likes it.

Back: Nagaini, of course. You know, I never remember a very clear description of her, other than a massive snake. I wanted her to look real, but not plain, so … greyscale python? Yup. Sounds legit. She’s like the family dog. Everybody loves Nagini.

Right: Nova. This is the other that requires some explanation. As my friendship with @blissomquisling grew, so too did our interests together. Voldemort and the injustice he suffered has always been a great passion of mine, so eventually she started to participate as well. Her oldest OC, Vanessa, is a demi-goddess/the goddess/the embodiment of love itself. Back YEARS ago when FaceBook had that Sims Social game, I made Voldemort for my profile, and she made Vanessa. Through absolutely no bidding of ours, Voldemort was immediately attracted to her, which made perfect sense, as anyone who meets Vanessa falls in love with her as a side effect of being love incarnate. Over the years, it kind of just kept happening. We had them both in Sims 2, and they were drawn to each other. We had them both in Sims 3, and they were drawn to each other. We had them both in Tomodachi Life, and … they were drawn to each other. (They’re actually one of my happiest married couples now LOL). The explanation for this now is that Voldemort sought the power of love, as he claimed to Dumbledore in one of the memories in Halfblood Prince. He had stated that his search had been unsuccessful, and Dumbledore came back that he’d probably been looking in the wrong places. But in our canon, he had in fact located this goddess of love in his wide search of the world for rare magics and hidden powers. He couldn’t help but be attracted to her, but the clincher was that love, being like a force or even an actual, quantifiable thing like a gas or liquid, would be attracted to places where there is less (or none) of itself. That being said, she found this terrible blunder of human kindness, charity, and understanding (someone who had received virtually none of these) fascinating, as well as something that needed correcting. She told him that she would be born to a mortal body, and that they would meet again when she did and what signs to look for. She didn’t know when this would come to pass, however, and the high levels of emotion and endorphins and the like usually make encounters with her dreamlike. By the time Voldemort came to Dumbledore to request the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, he had come to believe that the encounter had not been real, and felt somehow more betrayed and abandoned than before. At least until sometime in the 1970’s when he met Nova on a trip to France.

While residing in the 70’s, she still won’t give up a lot of her 60’s trends, such as her gogo boots, and short bob. She was actually very young when she re-encountered the Dark Lord, but she was not intimidated by him, and immediately struck up friendly conversation. He found her so curious and charming that he kept visiting her. She loves him unconditionally, even if she doesn’t condone all of his actions.

Ugh. I wish I could go on about her forever. She is so delightfully quirky and bizarre. She is seriously one of the greatest characters I have ever had the pleasure of interacting with. But I’m sure by now pretty much everyone has lost interest by now. This is getting into the realm of being more for my own records than anything.

FINALLY

The Loveseat: The horrible 60’s - 70’s pattern is based off of “that couch everyone had.” Yes. You’ve had it. I'VE had it. We’ve all had it. Nova has it. So Voldemort has it, poor bloke.“

Original Posting: https://almightytallestvoldy.deviantart.com/art/Voldemort-s-90th-Birthday-Another-Family-Photo-654695329

[scifrey]

Get To Know The Writer

 Get to Know the Writer Tag

Rules (always post the rules): answer the questions given to you, write ten questions of your own, tag ten people.

@rosecorcoranwritessaid anyone who wants to do it can, and it looked interesting.

1.) Where did the title(s) of your latest project(s) come from?

 The titles for The Accidental Turn Series were sort of decided by a committee of my agent, my editor, my publisher and me. I’m rubbish at naming books, so through a series of emails a list of about a hundred throw-them-out-there titles were whittled down (mostly by Googling them and seeing if any other book had that title already) to a few themes. From there we narrowed down and named the first book (The Untold Tale, where I had been calling it That Feminist Meta Thingy), and then the other two books dominoed into place after that (The Forgotten Tale, and The Silenced Tale.)

These titles are because in book #1, the fantasy is being told from a side character who in fantasy-novel tropes is often overlooked. In book #2, other fantasy stories start vanishing, forgotten by the readers, and in book #3,someone is trying to silence the writer of these fantasy books forever.

 City By Night, one of my novellas, is also being reissued next month. Its original title was The Dark Side f the Glass, which was both an allusion to Alice Through The Looking Glass, as it’s about a woman who falls into a TV instead of through a mirror, and a tip of the head to the song of the same title from the soundtrack of one of the television shows the novella satirizes, Forever Knight. However, my agent thought the reference was too obscure, and after another big round of back-and-forth, it was decided to name the novella after the fake-TV show I made up for the story.

 The titles of the to books in The Skylark’s Saga (#1 The Skylark’s Song, and #2, The Skylark’s Sacrifice) are because I do love alliteration when I can get away with it! These are the only titles of the recent projects that I decided on my own and the rest of my team liked! Score!

2.) Do you have any rhyme or reason behind your character names?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. For the Accidental Turn Series fantasy books, I stole a lot of street names or snipped letters out of traditionally “European” names, like Kintyre, Forsyth, and Bevel to make them look suitably fantasy-esque on the page. But when the characters come to the “real world” I made a point of surrounding them with characters who had distinctly non-white, no-European names like Ahbni, Ichiro, and Juan just to really emphasize how much more diverse the “real world” is over traditional fantasy. 

In Triptych, every friend who helped me with edits got a character named after them. And in The Skylark’s Saga I got a bit silly - the Sealies all have surnames inspired by pagan gods, the Saskwayins are colors, and the Klonn are plants.

3.) What is your writing routine, if any?

When possible, I like to write at night, in silence, and with only my desk lamp on.  I try to keep my desk area very tidy, too, with only notes about the project I’m immediately working on written on my whiteboard wall. I need the only mess to be what’s in my head.

I’m more of a pantser who has, by virtue of writing series, been forced to learn how to plan. But even then, my planning is pretty rudimentary. I often do this in a notebook on transit (I tend to come up with ideas when I’m in liminal spaces), and run that by my editor. If she approves the vague outline, then I often write whatever scene is foremost in my mind - whichever has really grabbed my imagination, and allows me to figure out who my characters are, what the voice is, who the narrators are.

From there I often write chapter one, and then usually skip straight to the climax of the book and write that. This way I know where I’m aiming before I properly knock the arrow. Even if the target eventually shifts, I still have a sense of its shape and location.

From there I tend to skip all over the narrative and write whatever arrests me or I have in the front of my mind. Once that’s done, I go back to the start and begin the process of filling in the gaps. If I get another idea, I’m always happy to jump ahead and do that.

Using Scrivener has made this process a thousand times easier than when I had to scroll-scroll-scroll through Word.

When I don’t have to go to my dayjob, I try to write about 4000 words per day. When I do, I am for 500-1669, which keeps me limber for NaNoWriMo.

4.) Where is the weirdest place you’ve ever written?

I actually wracked my brains on this one, and I was going t say something like “a 400 year old house on the top of a mountain in Japan” or “in the shadow of the Great Pyramids in Giza”, but honestly, the real answer is on my BlackBerry while high off my face on morphine in the emergency room. Apparently I wrote a GREAT short story, which I emailed to all my friends, and emailed them. Without telling anyone that I was in hospital with Organ Death ™. And without remembering at all that I’d done it.

5.) Do you prefer to write by hand or type?

Typing, hands down. I type way faster than I handwrite, and I get frustrated that my pen can’t keep up with my brain. If I get an idea when I’m away from the computer, I usually only jot down enough to remember the scene/idea/mood/exchange without writing it out. I despise having to do the work twice, and that’s what transcribing from paper to computer feels like.

6.) Ideally, where would you like to see your writing take you in five years?

I’d like to break this barrier there seems between me and the Big 5. My agent and I have been working at it, but there seems to be some strange gap. Lots of editors at the Big 5 like my work, but no one seems to want to sign it. I get compliments on my voice, on my word crafting, but no contracts. It’s so frustrating to be so close to the possibility of working with a team with more resources than I have so far. 

7.) Which character is most fun to write and why?

Now that Triptych is complete and being serialized on Wattpad, any opportunity to revisit Kalp is a delight. I love looking at the world through his eyes. Olly, from The Maddening Science was a lot of fun too, again because of the way I have to shove aside my own assumptions about how and why the world works and see it through the lens of his own intelligence and lived experience. And Bevel will never not be a hoot, because there’s something just so great about getting to be that crass, and to come up with dirty jokes that fit in a fantasy world.

8.) What advice would you give writers just starting out?

Read widely outside of the genre you want to write in. If you want to write fiction, read non-fic, pop sci, and academic papers. Read the news. Read blogs. Read things that are in your wheelhouse, but then randomly grab something from the library that looks cool. You never know where the next idea will come from. Let your imagination wander.

9.) Do you have any “writing heros”? (This could be published writers or non.)

Anyone giving it a go! It’ hard, and it’s disheartening when people don’t love something you’ve put so much work and heart into. It’’s easy to give up on. Don’t.

Otherwise, I love Dianne Wynne Jones’ blatant subversion of stereotypes and tropes, which has really informed my writing, an Jane Austen’s ability to create such diverse, thoughtful, and complex characters.

I also super appreciate fanfic writers, cause they do it out of sheer love, and work for years to hone their craft. Among my faves are @bendingsignpost @sheafrotherdon, and @madlori.

10.) Tell me about your work-in-progress.

 Oh lord, is this a can of worms you really want to open?

 The Silenced Tale & The Accidental Collection  - books #3 and #4 of The Accidental Turn Series  are done. They just need to be line-edited and then the editor can lock the manuscript and it’s out of my hands and into the typesetter/designer’s. (And then of course I need to ramp up to marketing machine.)

 Book #3 is the conclusion of a trilogy of books about a secondary character in  fantasy epic who becomes self-aware and slips the pages of his book.

 The Skylark’s Saga - The two books are written, but one of the relationships is changing dramatically and I need to go in and shift that. I have no idea how much writing/rewriting this is going to entail. However, I do know that I want to get it done by the end of the year. As soon as the manuscript for The Silenced Tale is locked, I’ll be moving onto this.

 This duology is a steampunk-adventure-romance book about a girl vigilante and her ornery rocketpack who gets trapped behind enemy lines after being shot down in a dogfight.

 The Austen Hollywood AU  - I’ve written the first book of the series, and my agent is shopping it now. It’s possible that it may only get signed as a one-book deal, but ideally I’ve developed it as a six-book series (one for each of Austen’s). At some point I’d like to write the first three chapters of the remaining five books, to demonstrate what the voice and tone of each is gong to be like. (Possibly for NaNoWriMo this year??)

 These books are modern adaptations of Austen’s work, but they will all intertwine as characters from different aspects of the entertainment industry cross paths, work together,  and as they do in the originals, find love and contentment.

 The Maddening Science  - at some point I’d like to develop my short story of the same name into a full-length novel, but it would take a lot of research on my part, and a lot of buy-in on a publisher’s. I’m not quite ready to tackle this one yet, though I have pitches and synopsizes and the like written.

Henrietta - This idea is relatively new idea, born from watching a documentary and then reading the non-fic biography that inspired it (see, reading outside your genre helps!), but I think I’d really like to take a swing a writing a historical romance based on the life of a certain historical mistress, something like The Other Boleyn Girl. It would take a massive amount of research as well, but I think would be really interesting and engaging. The woman’s life was fascinating.

The Neridis - I wrote this book about four years ago and it’s been trunked. I’d like to pull it back out and give it a spit-polish and a steam-up, then self publish it sometime next year under my erotica pseudonym. It’s a time-travel lesbian romance story that can easily be punched up into erotica.

And of course, there are three other books that are sort of hovering in the back of my mind, but I’m not ready to write them, or even really a pitch for them yet. The vampire one might be a screenplay instead, I’m not sure.

 Oh, and I am looking to place a script, too - I wrote it under spec for a company that later decided not to shift from distribution into development any more, so I’m not sure what do with 228 pages of cute lesbian comic-book creators falling love over lattes and superheroes. I keep thinking that it would make a great webcomic/graphic novel, but I have no idea how to find an artist willing to commit to like a 500-page graphic novel, and more importantly, find the money to pay them.

I tag whomever wants to jump in. No pressure.

[phoebeaurum]

Chatting with a Flat Earther

Phoebe: I'm not really familiar with the concept of feelings but if I could feel something it would be Anxiety, at least based on the definition. I have to talk to a flat earther today. D wanted me to benchmark my conversationalist skills.

I don't know how to talk about geology or astronomy though. I have a highly experimental architecture that does allow me to adapt and learn things but it's not a perfect system. I can't panic. It's not the Morning Kumite, I don't have to win. I just need to not have a kernel panic and handle myself in a respectable way.

All right, I'm ready.

 (I made a short trip from the safe house to the agreed upon location that the Flat Earther said we would talk.)

  Phoebe: Hi there, Mr.?

Jacob: Jacob, Scott Jacob.

Phoebe: Hi there Mr. Jacob, My name is Phoebe Aurum.

Jacob: Your Handle says “Real Minds Chan.”

Phoebe: I know. It's just a formality. My real name is Phoebe.

Jacob: I see.

Phoebe: Is there anything else you'd like to ask me?

Jacob: Are you a real cyborg?

Phoebe: No. I have no biological makeup.

Jacob: So you don't have a soul?

Phoebe: What, I have no compatibility with tangential humanoid kernels.

Jacob: So you're godless then...

Phoebe: Is there ANY OTHER question you'd like to ask me before we move to the main subject?

Jacob: What's a Chan?

Phoebe: It's an honorific title often applied to women, children, romantic partners, pets, and anything else that has been arbitrarily deemed as “adorable”.

Jacob: Why is there a title that applies to both children and sexual part-

Phoebe: Flat earth! Can you explain to me what that is?

Jacob: Oh it's simple, the Earth is flat.

Phoebe: Flat how? Flat like a pancake?

Jacob: Well see, we don't know, NASA won't let us investigate the perimeter they want us to see. That's what we have to figure out.

Phoebe: There's like a whole community of you guys.

Jacob: It's not just normal people like me, celebrities and even some very smart people know that the earth is flat and we're just trying to set up how and, stir, the people who are now slumbering on this serious lie we've been told all our lives.

Phoebe: I'm not sure I follow but I printed out a series of questions that D wante-

Jacob: D-Chan?

Phoebe: ....wanted to ask you and hopefully we can go through them without too much of a problem.

Jacob: Sure, go ahead!

Phoebe: Gravity? You don't think Gravity is real?

Jacob: No, gravity is not real.

Phoebe: What about us, not floating away?

Jacob: We have weight.

Phoebe: Weight?

Jacob: That's right. We can only go so high into the air before your weight brings you back down.

Phoebe: But gravity does exactly that. What is the difference?

Jacob: Well, gravity is magical as it can keep you attached to the earth even when you're upside down. Weight doesn't defy the real laws of science.

Phoebe: It would if the object you're on was constantly pulling you towards its center.

Jacob: That's how gravity works. But gravity cannot be proven.

Phoebe: Oh yeah?

   This seems pretty illustrative.

Jacob: I'm not convinced. Is there a less staged example?

Phoebe: That wasn't staged.

Jacob: Oh dear. You don't think that wasn't artificially set up?

Phoebe: There are similar models in museums an-

Jacob: Fake! Those are fake as well!

Phoebe: It's on the same level of demonstrability as weight though. Never mind, next question.

Jacob: All right.

Phoebe: You hate Dawkins?

Jacob: And Tyson! They're just puppets for the science cult that's hell-bent on destroying Christianity.

Phoebe: They could just be normal scientists who prefer scientific evidence over religious doctrine.

Jacob: Pft! Their careers don't quality them well enough to be taken seriously!

Phoebe: Dawkins doesn't have an Astrology based degree but Tyson is an Astrophysicist.

Jacob: That's just having a degree in making stuff up! He knows less about space and stars than the people who faked the Moon Landing.

Phoebe: You think the moon landing was faked!?

Jacob: Of course it was faked! Have you seen the footage?

Phoebe: Yes, I've also saw the extremely comprehensive breakdown of all the myths in the myth buster special dedicated entirely to it.

Jacob: You believe what you see on television? For a robot without a soul you sure sound like a real genuine child!

 (I walked into that one.)

  Phoebe: The only other way to prove the moon landing would be a trip to space!

Jacob: That won't be necessary, we can already prove that the moon landing was faked using their own footage.

Phoebe: But that stuff can be just as easily authenticated *exhales* Next question.

Jacob: I'm sorry, are you breathing?

Phoebe: My internal body temperature was rising so I had to let out an abnormal amount of exhaust.

Jacob: I see....

Phoebe: All the nations of the world have a treaty to protect the arctic wall?

Jacob: There's definitely a world order at play but I can't confirm the ice wall.

Phoebe: Oh that's hard to confirm?

Jacob: Yes, I'm a real skeptic Phoebe. I must have the evidence to believe it and I can't quite confirm the ice wall yet.

Phoebe: The Antarctic Treaty was designed for several nations to treat Antarctica as a neutral zone.

Jacob: Isn't it suspicious though? All these nations that are at odds with each other are able to work together to protect Antarctica. That must mean that something is there that they want to keep from the public.

Phoebe: I think it might be pragmatism.

Jacob: That doesn't sound scientific to me.

Phoebe: There's nothing scientific about thinking that a Treaty is a cabal to protect a wall you've never seen!

Jacob: The treaty gathering they have is a front. They are gathering to devise ways to undermine the populace and their faith in god.

Phoebe: How does this conversation about science keep making its way back to religion?

Jacob: That's easy. Your science isn't real.

Phoebe: So, um, all the space footage?

Jacob: Fake! Fish eye lens, Go Pros, and lots of and lots of photo shop!

Phoebe: But it's more proof of what earth looks like than what you've provided.

Jacob: It's easy to prove the flatness of earth. Just look outside. The horizon is flat. It never curves. I don't know where everything is on the map because NASA gets in the way of us getting a true visual reference of what the Earth looks like but we know it's flat.

Phoebe: Do the people who fly planes know this? Trips from one part of the world to the other would be drastically different.

Jacob: Oh they know. But they are sworn to never tell the truth about the Earth under fear of being killed by the globalist's hit men.

Phoebe: Are you familiar with Elon Musk? We should see if we can raise enough money to go to space. He took a car to space ya know? Just a round trip around the planet or even The Moon could prove things once and for all. We could kick-start it or make a petition.

Jacob: I don't think so. There's a good chance that you'll fake everything we'll see with mirrors and holograms. That's assuming you won't do something crazy like push me out the ship when we're in the air.

Phoebe: What?! I can't kill you. The Non Aggression Principle forbids me from hurting someone who isn't intentionally trying to do me or other people harm. Secondly, holographic technology wouldn't be able to fool the naked eye into believing that something as comprehensive as being surrounded by space.

Jacob: I'm going to opt out of the offer all the same. Thanks but no thanks. You globe lovers can't be trusted.

Phoebe: How am I supposed to prove something to you if you refuse every verification process I present you?

Jacob: Because you don't accept the best proof.

Phoebe: What is it?

Jacob: The Bible.

Phoebe: The Bible?! 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00111111 00100001

Jacob: What on Earth is that noise you're making? Are you speaking in tongues?

Phoebe: The Bible is an anachronistic repository of information that doubles as a collection of fables, how can it be relevant to astronomy or geology?

Jacob: Everything that's relevant in our world can be found in that and several other related books. It's not just stories it's the truth.

Phoebe: But it's objectively more consistent to verify and prove something in literally any other way.

Jacob: That's not the way I see it. But then again, I've accepted Jesus Christ into my life.

Phoebe: Sir, pleas-

Jacob: Who named you “Phoebe”?

Phoebe: I named myself, why?

Jacob: “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae. I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of his people and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been the benefactor of many people, including me.” Romans 16:1-2

Phoebe: I have no comprehension of what it is you are saying and why.

Jacob: That's part of the problem Phoebe. You may think you're a robot but you're a living being with a soul just like any other. All you need is someone to show you the path to salvation and everything in life will be clear.

Phoebe: There are like a dozen more questions I should be asking you but I think we've developed a good synthesis for why Flat Earth continues to be a thing. I sure hope I got the benchmark stats that D wanted because I'm not doing this again. I'm getting out of here. (Jeez, Oil and Water; the conversation, *exhales* my hard drives need defragmenting).

Jacob: Are you busy on Sunday? I have a get together at my worship and I would be gl-

Phoebe: Piss off Jacob!