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dancingtotuyo · 6 months ago

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Scathed 10 (Javier Peña)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: anxiety, trauma, self worth, smoking, references to the drug war and colombia, Narcos season 3 spoilers

Notes: Thank you @janaispunk for always beta reading for me. I love you!

Words: 3956

Series Master List | Author Master List

Journal Entry September 4th, 1994 Dear Javi,

So it’s been a month since you left. I’m trying not to be hurt by the lack of communication. Dad said you’re alive. The reports out of Colombia sound like you’re doing well even. I know you called your dad. He mentioned it at Ale’s riding lesson.

School is kicking my ass. Passing the GED and actually going to class is a huge fucking difference. For the most part, I’ve managed the social situations fine. Classes are small, I can sit in the back. People don’t notice the old lady in the back. I’m pretty sure I’m only retaining a quarter of what I need to. I’m on too high of alert. I knew it would be hard, but it feels like my anxiety has gotten worse again. I feel like I’m moving backward.

Standing outside the Embassy, Javier lit a cigarette. The habit had returned in full as he fought to manage the stress of the day and ghosts of the night. He’d managed to keep his bed empty and his ashtray full. It felt like the better option of the two.

He still hadn’t called home. His voicemail still held last week’s message from Alejandra. He fought with himself every night. The push and the pull to talk to Emily, but every night ended the same, drowning in smoke and whiskey. He wasn’t clean enough to have her or the kids. It was better this way.

He felt useless down here. What good was the DEA if they weren’t going to actually do any enforcing. He and the whole agency were just expensive window dressing here to make it look like everything was above board, to get the DEA stamp of approval on this surrender deal. Javier hated it all.

“Can I get one of those?” A woman appeared next to him, her dirty blond curls threaded with the soft grays and white of aging. Javier offered one up in a silence. “I quit four months ago.” She smiled before bringing it to her lips.

Javier cocked his head to the side, still assessing her motives. He hadn’t seen her around before. She wanted something, Javier just couldn’t decide what. He lit the cigarette for her as they both took a drag, sizing one another up as they did.

He briefly wondered if her hair style was what Emily had in mind when she mentioned cutting it shorter. He still preferred the idea of her long curls. His chest tightened. Not that he had any right to a say in that.

The woman squared up to him. “Carolina Alvarez, El Tiempo.” She held out her hand.

Just what he needed, the press. He let her hand hang in the air just long enough to make her feel uneasy before taking it with an admittedly poor handshake. As he suspected, it didn’t take long for her to launch into whatever introduction she had planned, pulling up his history with Los Pepes and the current politics happening with Cali’s plea deal.

It was a power play. Javier refused to let her win. “You can call the press office if you want a comment, Miss Alvarez.”

“Carolina, please,” she said.

In another life, Javier wouldn’t give her the time of day. Of course, he didn’t have to deal with the press last time. That had been above his pay grade. He tossed the cigarette butt to the ground, stomping it out with his foot. Of course, he didn’t have to deal with her now. That was what the press office was for. “Have a nice day.” He turned, started to walk away.

“Have you heard much about the Cali accident?” she asked. His steps slowed down. He turned back around. “Four more people dead. Children. Dozens more sick.” She stepped toward him. “An empty chlorine gas canister was found nearby.”

Javier kept his face straight. His shoulders tensed. He’d seen the initial report, but hadn’t thought too much about it.

Caroline continued, taking his silence for permission. “There’s a rumor its manufacturer is linked to a front company operated by the Cali Cartel.”

“It’s like you said, it was an accident,” Javier said, expression etched in stone, not giving anything away.

Carolina let out a humorless chuckle. “By the end of the day it will be. No matter what the truth is.” She met his eye, giving it a second for emphasis before lapsing into Spanish. “Thank you for the cigarette.”

She walked away, leaving Javier in the same place, same expression on his face. He fought against his surging emotions. He wasn’t going to let some journalist use him to do her research. Even so, it nagged on him throughout the day. He found himself taking extra smoke breaks.

When he found himself watching the evening news, the investigator calling it an accident, caused by a natural gas leak, Javier felt anger surge through him. How many families had to be torn apart to protect these men? Innocent children had died. Mothers had children to bury. That wasn’t right. That wasn’t justice.

Pictures flashed across the screen, the children killed by the exposure. He’d seen children die before. He’d watched a man he respected shoot a teenager in the head as a warning. He’d held a gun to a kid. Those incidents had messed with his head enough, but these kids were in their homes, tucked into their beds. They were supposed to be safe. How many times had Javier watched as Emily ushered her children to bed, kissed their heads, and trusted that they'd be safe in their bed. That they would wake up.

Javier was never good at guessing the ages of kids, but each face that flashes across the screen seems to remind him of them. Miguelito. Alejandra. Mateo. Children he’d grown to know, to love even…

This wasn’t right. Cali didn’t get to get away with it. Not this time. He shut the TV off, walking over to Chris Feistl’s desk. He leaned against the wall. “You got a partner, right?”

Chris looked up at him, confused and a little shocked. “Uh, yeah. Kinda.”

Maybe it could be different this time. Maybe he could still bring justice.

“Good, you’re going to Cali.” He walked away before Feistl could respond.

This time would be different.

Journal Entry September 18th, 1994 Dear Javi,

It hurts not to hear from you. Dad said all reports from Colombia have been good. I’m sure you’re getting restless.

I had a panic attack in class this week. I had to leave ten minutes into the class. I hadn’t had one since Escobar was killed. That’s the longest I’d been without one since I came home. I was starting to think maybe I’d never have one again.

I feel… disappointed.

Javier met Carolina at a cafe. She gave him information about Cali's money launderer, Franklin Jurado. She pushed him in a way he needed just as she had in their first meeting. It seemed weird that perhaps his moral compass would come in the form of a nosy journalist.

“Are you going to take these men on or what?” she asked.

Javier let out a quick breath, formulating his answer very carefully. “I’m going to do my job.”

“And your bosses?” Her gaze was piercing, like she was trying to see his soul or haunt his dreams until the job was done. “Do they know what you’re doing?”

His eyes drifted to his coffee. “No comment,” he said, putting the cup to his lips, pinning her with a soft glare he was sure she saw right through.

She called him with the address an hour after he left.

Javier didn’t have to sit long before Franklin appeared on the steps, bags in tow. He was going somewhere, but where was the question. A driver appeared, helping the man with his bags and once they were packed, a woman walked toward him. Javier watched from his SUV as Franklin took her hand. She didn’t look happy to be saying goodbye, and then he held her tight.

A pang shot through Javier’s chest as the blonde woman folded into her husband’s arms. She didn’t want him to go, but she was there to say goodbye anyway. An image of Emily flashed through his mind. The night before he left, she hadn’t cried, but he saw it in her eyes, felt it in the way she hugged him. He wondered if his coldness had made her cry since that night. This was better for her. She would be better off without him. He let out a sigh as he turned the ignition to follow Franklin’s, cutting off the thought before it wracked his body with guilt.

After following Jurado to the airport, Javier headed for his own flight to follow him. Stechner blocked it, pulling him into the jungle with a couple of senators to rub elbows, to take him out like a show pony, the man who brought down Escobar, except he wasn’t even in the country when that happened. Everyone seems to ignore that part.

He seethed on the helicopter ride in, feigning a broken headset to avoid talking. There were plenty of other places Javier would rather be, anywhere else really. He was supposed to be taking down Cali, despite what his orders were. Hell, he’d rather run for his life through the communas again than take a couple of stuffy senators on a stroll through the jungle.

Humidity hung heavy in the air as sweat soaked his shirt. He was used to the weather, but in dress shoes and slacks it was hell. To make it all worse, it was apparent from the get go that it was a set up, a fancy, high tailed lie to raise support for whatever the CIA was gunning for, fighting communists or whatever. Javier found the whole pursuit to be a gigantic waste of time. He’d smuggled a communist out of the country once, he’d do it again without a second thought, but one thing became abundantly clear. Cali’s surrender had nothing to do with the war on drugs and everything to do with fundraising.

Javier’s blood boiled the entire ride home, replaying his conversation with Stechner. The way the CIA agent had laughed about the drug war as if it was a joke. Maybe it was, but Javier wasn’t ready to let this one go.

“The drug war? We lost it. You were there!”

It echoed on a fucking loop, driving him crazy as he made his way back home. There weren’t enough cigarettes in the world to numb the blows and they kept coming.

“Did you ever stop to think that someone who takes this as personally as you do, is doing it wrong?”

He stubbed out the bud against his truck door as he got out, marching up the steps as he knocked on the door.

This was personal. He couldn’t go home empty handed. He couldn’t face her without knowing he’d made an impact on this fight, brought down men like the one who’d inflicted such scars on her.

Colonel Martinez opened the door, breaking Javier from his thoughts. He looked surprised to see him.

Javier cut to the chase. “Want to go after Gilberto Rodriguez?”

Journal Entry October 2nd, 1994 Javi,

Where the fuck are you? It feels like my best friend abandoned me. You abandoned me.

The day they arrested Gilberto Rodriguez, Javier went through the wringer, the emotional ups and downs. The DEA was excited. The bullpen had given him a round of applause, wanted to toast him. He didn’t like that. The ambassador had torn him a new one. Javier wasn’t a fan of that either. A meeting of high ranking Colombian officials with the American representatives showed the scope. Some felt this gave them more leverage while others feared it would make things worse, but the president ordered that Gilberto go through the same process as any other citizen. Javier considered that a win. He didn’t take pleasure in the press conference.

By the time he made it back to the office, he had a killer headache, but it was thankfully empty by then. Javier pulled out the whiskey and the cigarettes. He didn’t necessarily feel happy, but he felt as if he’d done something finally.

Javier didn’t stop to celebrate or rest. He turned focus right back to Franklin Jurado, refocusing his attention on the launderer, but not before stopping to put a big, red X through Gilberto’s picture. That brought him a moment of happiness, but he paused to wonder.

He wondered if she had heard the news, seen the press conference. Did Emily know how much of a driving force she was to him? How much he wanted to clear the earth of every single cartel and drug boss, to make her feel safe again. For a second, he contemplated calling her. Could he know? Had he atoned enough? He shook his head at the thought, gripping the marker tightly in his hand. He would never atone enough.

“This is Peña. Leave a message.” BEEP

“Mr. Javi. It’s me. Alejandrina.”

“I’m here too!” Mateo’s voice called out, sounding more distant than his sister’s.

“Miguelito is here too. Mom is working in the yard.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this!” Miguelito said. “Grandpa is going to see it on the phone bill.”

“You never called me back.” Alejandra continued. “I saw you on the news in grandpa’s office. He didn’t know I saw. It sounded like you caught the bad guys. Can you come home now?”

“There’s more than one bad guy.” Miguelito reminded her.

Alejandra sighed frustratedly as she went off in Spanish at her older brother. There was static on the receiver and then Mateo started talking as his older siblings fought in the background.

“Mr. Javi. Stay safe. We love you. Bye.” The machine clicked off.

Javier spent the next week in meetings getting berated or praised for the DEA’s actions, but mostly the berated. The doubt crept in at times. Maybe he should have left well enough alone, but it never stayed for long. He’d done the right thing. He was certain of that.

Neil spent most of his time listening to the Jurado tapes in search of a location of Franklin. Nothing was turning up yet, but he still held out hope. Each conversation Franklin and his wife had tugged on something in Javier’s heart. Maybe it was the way she begged him to turn himself in, her worry, the anxiety.

Even as he sat at the end of the bar, eyes pinned to Christina Jurado, Javier felt the guilt ebbing at him. Last year, he wouldn’t have thought twice about using Christina’s situation to get the information. It was easy enough, buy her a drink, pull out the charm, trick her into telling him where Franklin was. So why did he feel so damn bad about it? Why could he only picture Emily in the same position?

Her situation had been nothing like this. They were two separate people in two separate realities. So why was he struggling with this? Why couldn’t he separate the two women? He should call her.

Javier shook his head, waving the bartender over. He ordered a drink for Christina, clearing his head and dusting off the charm as he waited for the drink to be delivered.

She looked annoyed at first, but the moment his English caught her ears, he watched her entire demeanor change. Javier knew he had it in the bag, but it didn’t feel as good as it used to. And then the words slipped out, almost like his mouth had a mind of its own.

“You reminded me of someone. Someone from home.”

She liked that line, but he wanted to shower the moment he said it. What right did he have to utter even her existence in this place? None, but he’d done it anyway. Further evidence that he’d done the right thing by not calling her.

Even through the guilt gnawing at him, Javier played the dutiful flirt. Almost lost himself in it, almost dared to enjoy it.

“So what could pull him away from-” He looked her up and down. “From all this.”

The words repeated in his mind. What could pull him away from her? In both cases the answer was the same. The Drug War. This all powerful thing that had left him battered and bruised yet kept drawing him back in.

Christina paused, gave him another once over and then slid from her seat. “Say hi to Texas for me.”

Javi gave her credit, she was committed to her husband, or maybe his flirting skills weren’t as good as they used to be, either way, it was plan B. He called out the name she’d never told him, told her who he was, and she all but spit in his face.

When Javier showed up at her front door later that day, she didn’t turn him away. He may not have learned where Franklin was, but she gave him the time of day. She listened. She all but told him she would try to convince her husband to turn himself in. She couldn’t look at him, didn’t look at him as he set his card on the coffee table, a far away look in her eyes, no doubt replaying the past, just like Emily when- Javier cut the thought off. This wasn’t her. This was different.

He reasoned that he was doing this to help Christina, to keep her safe, but he knew that wasn’t true, his own selfish motives landing in the forefront of his mind. It was for the greater good, but how many people had he harmed for the greater good?

Before he left, Javier vowed to keep Christina out of harm’s way. It was the least he could do. This time would be different.

It worked. Christina called Franklin almost as soon as he left. By the grace of god, the tap caught the man thanking someone in the language, specific enough to track him down to Curaçao.

Before the night was over, Javier sat at the airport bar tapping his fingers against the smooth surface. He still couldn’t shake the feeling, the deceit of it all. He was caught off guard when his SAT phone rang. He answered, keeping an eye out at the bar around him.

“Peña,” He answered, taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Uh, it’s me… Christina Jurado.”

“I’m glad you called… You okay?”

“Please don’t lie to me,” Christina said. She sounded nervous, worried. “If I do this- if I get my husband to- you can protect us? We can go home?”

Javier’s chest tightened. He finished off his drink. “You have my word.” But he didn’t know how much his word carried these days.

She hesitated before answering. “I talked to him.”

“You did? That’s good.”

“He’s gonna cooperate.”

“He said that?” Javier picked up his duffel bag.

“No, not yet- but he will. I just… I need a little time.”

“That’s fine.” Javier walked down the terminal. “You take all the time you need.”

He hung up without another exchange, just before his flight was announced over the intercom. Internally, he repeated his early promise. He’d keep her safe.

Journal Entry October 15th, 1994

I dropped my classes today. I haven’t been able to make it to class. I thought I could do it. You thought I could do it…

Javier had almost forgotten the adrenaline rush of chasing down the bad guys. The hunt for Gilberto had been one thing, but the thrill of actually chasing someone down, weaving through the crowds, finally getting him. It felt good. It felt like a win when even his wins felt like losses these days.

In all of Javier’s days in law enforcement, he’d never had someone ask about their wife. Never had anyone worried for anyone’s safety but their own, and he assured Franklin that she would meet them in Miami.

Javier couldn’t help but admire the Jurado’s commitment to one another. For one, it made it a lot easier to get his witness, yet there was something about them. Tangled up in this mess, but still committed, still loving each other.

As they landed, his phone rang again. Christina called him, freaking out about the men at her apartment. He had to tell her they’d arrested him. She reacted as he expected, upset and anxious, and surprisingly, his guilt had subsided. Maybe it was because they had Franklin. Maybe it was because he knew if she could get herself to the embassy, she would be safe. He’d done it. He’d brought Franklin in, and he hadn’t destroyed a family in the process. She just needed to get herself a couple miles before they found out Franklin was in custody.

“Christina, you want it, this is it.” He cut off her rambling firmly. “As soon as we hang up the phone, you get yourself to the American embassy. You don’t talk to anyone. You don’t call anyone. You get yourself there.”

He caught the whispers of her agreement before the line went dead.

He paused a second after the call ended, staring at the keypad. Maybe it was the American soil. Maybe it was the fact that he was actually starting to feel good about this. He thought about calling for real, so close to punching the numbers he had memorized. Then he was reminded that he was on the tarmac. The job wasn’t done, but afterward, maybe he would call her. Except, Christina never made it to the embassy.

An envelope with Emily’s handwriting greeted Javier when he got back to his apartment in Colombia. The return address confirmed it as he stared at it in the dim light of his apartment, rereading the address like he might catch a clue to its contents in the ink strokes. He debated opening it. The kids’ secret phone call to him from a couple weeks ago, the only message that accompanied Emily’s on his answering machine, ran through his mind.

It was too late for this. It had been a long couple of days. The guilt that had returned tenfold since he left Miami without calling Emily, with Christina’s whereabouts unknown, but he ripped the seal open anyway.

It was likely Emily ripping him apart, angry with him for abandoning her. Even the kids’ voicemail hadn’t been enough to make him call. He didn’t deserve them. Any of them. He was better off out of their lives.

He rubbed his forehead as he unfolded the paper, but it wasn’t words that greeted him, but bright colors and advanced stick figures drawn in crayon, five people. He furrowed his brow, looking back at the envelope. In the corner was Alejandra’s name atop the return address. In the picture, two adults, three kids, and a couple of horses all smiled back at him. He couldn’t help his own smile that ghosted his lips. Paz and Hurricane. His heart clenched. He hoped that Ale was still taking lessons at the ranch, and the boys practicing with the lasso. Alejandra had written their names above each person.

He’d been a dick. Hadn’t returned calls like he said he would, promised he would, but Ale still wanted him to have this, Emily still sent it. She didn’t have to. She could have lied and thrown it in the trash instead.

Javier cleared his throat as the page began to blur a little bit. He needed to go to sleep. He grabbed the maintenance magnet, using it to pin the drawing to his fridge.

This time would be different.

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@mysterious-moonstruck-musings @weho2kcmo

#scathed (javier peña)#javier peña x ofc #javier peña #javier peña fanfiction #narcos #pedro pascal fanfiction #ppcu fanfiction #pedrostories #pedro stories

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scentedpeachlandcreator · 3 months ago

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Hello. I need your help. I have been assuming I have my desired face for two years now and I didn’t want to admit it till now but I can’t live like this anymore because I had massive glow downs my skin is at it peak worst my face looks really weird ugly and masculine and it’s like completely the opposite of how I want it to be and I can’t seem to let it go. And everytime I look into the mirror I completely stress and freak out because my face seems to get more distancing from my desire and it really disappoints me because I’m actually really good at manifesting and I get everything but this just seems so hard and I’ve tried so much already. I even let it go for 2 months but then I also got uglier. It’s so frustrating. But I don’t want to be this version because I feel like I should have already gotten my desired face a long time ago and I’m really tired of looking at my desired face the entire day and affirming I have it and trying to act like that version. It genially makes my wanna kill myself. mWhat should I do?

Hello! Sorry for not answering your ask, i was busy with school.

Well sweatheart i know how you feel, but first we need to calm down and remind ourself that we're powerful, limitless, and our imagination is what create the World around us.

The 3d is Always gonna limit you, you'll feel stuck, Desperate, and helpless.

But in the 4d/imagination we'll feel free, limitless.

And i'm here to make you understand that manifesting is an easy process.

How Law of assumption work?

Law of assumption is Law which state what you assume to be true and keep returning to this assumption it will be reflected in the physical World(3d).

But first we need to understand how the 3d and 4d plane works.

4d: imagination.

3d: physical World.

The 3d's job is just to reflect the 4d, but in order to change the 3d we need to change the 4d/our self first, you need to change your beliefs/assumptions/Mindset.

But how to manifest?

Decide.

Affirm.

Persist.

That it.

Now we will apply it to your face.

You're manifesting your desired face because you don't like your current one, so you decided what face you wanna look like.

So you start assuming you have your desired face "i already have my desired face" "oh my! I look exactly like her!"

But then you'll start noticing that the 3d is not showing you what you want.

Can you Guess why?

Well that because you're checking the 3d for results, you're edging to look for movement.

But honey, that not how the Law works, you need to trust the process, the Law is a promise, you'll receive your desires but first you need to stop checking the 3d, time, movement.

They won't get you anywhere, you'll be stuck in a cycle.

Now i want you to decide that YOU DO HAVE YOUR DESIRED FACE.

It is done, creation is finished.

You Saw it in your mind? Then it is done.

You have nothing to do, trust the process and know that the 3d will change.

"but Eli when i see a glimpse of my face in the mirror, i see no change :("

Well instead of saying there's no change, affirm the opposite, when you look at yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth or washing your face Say along the lines "look at this beauty! I look exactly like X", "damn i wanna kiss myself! I look so pretty!"

Hype yourself up! I know it will feel like your lying to yourself at first but eventually with Time it will feel natural.

Now get your ass up and manifest that beauty of yours ;⁠) !

(Note: if you feel like you overconsumed so much info read this post or mine).

Xoxo, Eli

#law of assumption #loa tumblr #loa #loa blog #law of manifestation #how to manifest #loassumption #asks #anon ask #void state #4d reality

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3cremepie3 · 1 year ago

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Chatterbox

Sypnopsis - Professor Crowley helping you his dear student relive some stress.

Warnings - Smut 18+, Teacher x student, squirting, dirty talk, humiliation, gagging, flattery!

A/n - I was been supposed to get this done. Sorry for the delay I got really busy with school. But it’s out now thanks for the support! And also before anyone starts Y/n is grown. REBLOG PLS!!

“It’s been months since I’ve seen my family! My friends hell even my enemies.” What have you been doing this whole time? Answer me, Crowley,” you demanded!

“Y/n I have a school to run on top of trying to solve your impossible dilemma. For all I know you might’ve fallen from the sky like the tums.” Well, you’re not doing a good job at your school if your students keep overblotting,” you snapped.

You were tired of Crowley's BS that’s why you stormed into his office. You were currently standing over his desk looking his stupid mask in the eyes. He sat on his chair which resembled a bird cage.

“I have to be the one to stop them from dying because conveniently somehow you’re never around. You told me I could be a student here, not a therapist.” As pathetic as it may be you began to cry the built stress of holding back your feelings let loose.

“I need help myself I don’t have time to help others. Please Crowley help me find a way home,” you sobbed. Crowley sighed before clutching you closer to him.

“I'm a generous headmaster I hate to see my students under such stress. Especially beautiful ones that I’m trying to help every day. Crowley pulled your hands away from your face. Here come closer Y/n.” You followed his instructions as he pulled slightly on your arm.

He opened up one of his desk drawers to a file with your name on it. “This is everything I’ve collected on you so far even after using my global resources,” he spoke.”You read through the files while bent over his desk for a better view.

You could see how every lead he got was scratched off. It was hard to read since he had chicken scribble but you got through most of it. Crowley had been trying. But this file just proved one more thing you were never getting home. In a moment of shock you fell back and the tears began to stream again. You were in Crowleys now lap to upset to move. “Sorry Mr. Crowley,” you sniffed. “I can see now that you have been trying.”

“Yes this whole time this situation has been stressful for me as well since you’re quite troublesome on campus,” he joked. You could tell he was trying to lighten the mood. “I guess you have it hard too.” You shifted so that you could look at him not even remembering that you were on his lap.

“Um yeah I guess you could say that,” he coughed. For a second you wondered what he meant by that and then you felt it. His large hard on pressing onto your back. “Oh I should get up,” you yelped.

“No, I don’t mind you staying here. You look too pretty when you cry. And it seems like we could both use a little bit of a stress relief. Look at how tense you are.” He started to massage your shoulders then his hands rolled down to your neck.

You let out a sharp exhale startled by his cold hand on such a sensitive area. He began to grind himself into your now-exposed panties since your skirt was lifted. “I’ll continue only if you want me to Y/n. It’s an honor to make love to someone like me,” he chuckled.

“I’ve never done anything like this Mr. Crowley.” It’s okay I’ll walk you through it there’s no way you won’t enjoy your time with me.” Okay I’ll try then.”

“But are we gonna do it here? What if someone walks in?” They can’t do much to the I'm the headmaster after all.” His hands gripped your ass giving it a firm squeeze. “I don’t know Mister this seems like a bad idea.

“Hey,” you protested. “Just calm down.” His fingers ghosted over your pussy causing you to squirm. “Squirming already I guess you’re nervous. I would be too if I were having sex with me.”

“Shhh just sit and relax.” He put your legs on each side of the chair legs and held your back for support. “Let’s get these useless things off.” He cut off your panties in an instant with his claws.

“Your egos too high,” you spoke. “And your mouth is too smart it would be best if I stuff you quiet.” What huh.” You asked not fully registering what he meant. The leftover fabric of your panties was stuffed in your mouth.

“That’s better.” One of his hands gripped your thigh tighter as the other worked off his golden claws and gloves. You waited watching his every move. His fingers were abnormally long and slender. He also had claw-like fingernails on all but two of his middle fingers. You didn’t think Mr. Crowley would get any pussy he seemed too busy but you were wrong. He knew exactly what to do massaging your clit while teasing your fluttering hole.

Your moans could be heard through your gag. “Feels good huh?” I can tell it does look at how you’ll suck me up.” He inserted his finger then and your heat greedily accepted him.

“See I’m always right!” You ready to take the next one? He questioned inbetween tasting your juices on his finger. You shook your head quickly slightly ashamed at your eagerness. The stretch felt heavenly to the point where you sunk your hips down further on his fingers.

“So needy huh? You needed this Y/n you need me huh?” You shook your head again grinding yourself up and down on his fingers. By now your pussy was so wet it started to make lewd sounds.

They got louder and louder the longer you fucked yourself on his fingers. Crowley sat back admiring the view. Your pussy was on full display since your uniform skirt was lifted. You felt his eyes burning onto you. His gaze wasn’t a judgemental but a loving one.

He realized how much of a slut he just found. He would just have to train you to realize it. But you were quickly breaking out of your box. Your moans were turning into whines. You were close now bouncing on his curved fingers like a fuck rabbit.

Your hands dug into his shoulders landing on his soft feather-filled Shaw. You buried your face in his neck too ashamed to face him. “Most women would get tired by now and want me to fuck them. I guess you young ones have more stamina.”

He was such a talkative asshole you wish that he would shut up. But you couldn’t stop now when you were so close to cumming. You were so close to letting go your juices were dripping down his fingers wetting his dress shirt.

“Such a loud sloppy mess for me. You’re doing so good Let me see how you feel with this.” He stopped all motion leaving you breathless. For a second you were hopeless that he was gonna help you finish. But his hands boosted your thighs up now your pussy was nearing his mouth.

You gasped into your gag you were high up now with no support other than his hair to hold. “Shh calm down I never dropped anyone doing this. Just give in everything will be okay.” He spoke sending vibrations and chills up your already shakey spine. He licked up around your thighs purposefully missing your needy parts. You whined pulling him forward. “Lick here.” You tried to illustrate through your gag.

This was the longest you’ve been edged your entire impatient life. You used your tongue to push your gag out you could’ve taken being bound any longer. “Headmage please I need your mouth. I need to cum or I think I’ll go crazy. Now stop being a fucking tease,” you demanded. “That’s not nice language young lady.” Okay, I’m sorry I’m sorry,” you pleaded.

“Fine, I’ll be kind enough to spare you.” Ahh! You screamed being unexpectedly dropped. You were back on Crowley's lap then you were back on the desk. You spread your legs again and finally after what felt like forever his mouth met your clit.

You wrapped your legs around his head tightly. “You’re not escaping this bit.” No problem I can stay like this for hours,” he murmured. He began to lap up your juices that had pilled up from all his teasing.

“Mmm, that feels good.” Doesn't it baby I heard my head game is superior.” Stop hearing and start focusing,” you instructed. “You’re insufferable,” you sighed. “And you're sweet so sweet,” he explained through slurps.

“Mmm Crowley,” you groaned. “You’re so naughty y/n I feel you twitching on my tongue. Are you about to cum? You must be look at how you’re shaking.” You hadn’t even noticed that how your body was reacting.

“Yes I’m about to cum!” Hmm,” he pondered. “Should I really let you cum? I don’t think this naughty pussy deserves it.” He teased while slapping your clit. You tightened in surprise and sprung up. “Crowley!”

“Fuck please just let me I’ve been waiting so long.” He gave you a reassuring glance latching his mouth to your clit. This time you knew he would allow you to cum. He didn’t let up for a second not even to breathe.

His mask partially lifted but you were too out of it to look at his secret identity. Your vision began to blur so you just shut your eyes as tight as they could go. Crowley didn’t like how your body was pulling away so his arm held your stomach down.

There was no escaping his tounges harsh attack even after you began to cum. He continued prolonging your orgasm. Your toes curled and even the iron grip he had on your waist wasn’t enough to stop you from shaking.

“Fuck I’m gonna! Ahh, I’m gonna squirt if you keep that up,” you warned. “I don’t mind the mess my dear but I do mind your volume.” He explained before pulling you into a smothering kiss.

You let go completely over his lanky fingers. “Headmage!! You screamed into his mouth. His tongue swayed across yours muffling your sound. “Ahh.” You sighed relieved that your edging was over. You were trying to relax your breathing for a moment before you hit Crowley. “What the fuck why are you such a tease?!”

“I have to be and anyways you should be grateful look at how hard you came.” You left my desk all sticky.” Well it’s gonna stay that way,” you chuckled. You slid off his desk pulling your panties back up.

“C’mon don’t leave my little stress reliever. Don’t you want to help your dear Headmage out a little more after I was so kind to you?” He grabbed his buldge and for a second you wanted to go back down on your knees.

But the bell ringing distracted your thoughts. “I need to be a good student like I said earlier. So bye Crowley. You left leaving him a hard insatiable mess.

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starryyskies · 5 months ago

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Lil update in case y’all care ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)⁭ ⁭

I’m moving from my shit apartment starting the beginning of august, and my current semester ends near august 13th. My next semester starts almost 2 weeks after (classes start on the 22nd but it’s good to get it started earlier since most classes open early).

Hopefully by then I’ll be moved out, feel more organized and less stressed, and manage my time a bit better.

Classes are going well despite being super fucking stressful, I’m at the very least passing for now lol

But as for drawing, besides that one doodle I finished and coloured, I haven’t been able to do anything at all. It really disappoints me because I see all this amazing art and my fomo (fear of missing out) gets so bad lol. But I am being responsible and doing my best (╥ᆺ╥；)

Thank you guys for your support and kindness and understanding ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

So in case you’re curious my struggles currently read below lol

So, the place I work at, my store is a corporation and we’ve been basically getting babysat by managers from other stores who are also watching their own store, getting paid a shit amount for creating and maintaining not just the scheduling for both stores, but also managing any issues that arise. So we’re on our 4th manager now, and while he’s the sweetest and fucking raddest manager of all times, he is doing the bare minimum for our store. And trust me, I do NOT blame him. To be honest, he is getting paid salary for being a manager of his own store, and it’s like 56k a year or something which isn’t bad at all. But watching a completely different store?

75. Dollars. A WEEK?! That is LITERALLY a slap in the face. That is the CEO saying a big ass fuck you to its employees. So of course he’s doing the bare minimum. Coping and pasting parts of the schedule, he never comes into our store, and while he’s attentive when it comes to issues, he’s our only source of upper management support we have.

We have workers who have worked with the company for 3+ years, 8+ years, and 20 years. They know what they’re doing, but when I am running the shift by myself, I can’t rely on my coworkers to get back to me, because they are not obligated to.

So the schedule is pretty awful sometimes. Sometimes we’re over staffed when we could’ve used the help other times, sometimes we’re severely understaffed. Like for example, today was a shit show. We had 3 people during our busiest time. (I work at a coffee shop) and so we have one person on register who also takes care of the food and packs the deliveries, and then one person on the coffee bar is not enough to handle the amount of drinks they get, so I was basically running back and forth to support both positions while also making sure my coworkers got their breaks. Icing on the cake was when we realized it was way too hot inside the cafe and learned our AC is broken AGAIN! It was 84 degrees before I left work. That is miserable running around taking care of hot drinks and food.

This is something I deal with at least 2 times a week

While also doing school work full time, having a strict deadline to follow to submit assignments (thankfully it’s all online so I can be somewhat flexible)

And on top of all of that, I’m moving in 2 weeks, school finals will be going on by then, and life has been kicking my family in the ass.

My step dad, who I’ve know since I was 6-7, he’s been that second dad to me, I think of him as a hero. He unfortunately has been diagnosed with single cell lung cancer. It had spread to his ribs and femur. While he’s still fighting and going through aggressive treatment, I’m not sure what the outcome will be. He’s putting on a strong face, so I can’t tell how serious it is.

My grandfather is also in the hospital. He’s had a heart condition that requires him to wear an AED pacemaker in his chest, and recently it was used because he had a seizure. He’s not doing too well, and who knows what will happen.

Oh! And my older sister’s wedding is IN TWO MONTHS! I’m the damn maid of honor, and I do nottttt like the attention. She’s the kinda person who likes big fancy weddings but she’s doing her best financially to make it happen, though she also was promoted to manager for her store (we work for the same company) and going through that crazy long training is surly not fun lol.

But anyway, thanks for reading my rambles. Sometimes I feel like nobody really cares but I get reminded that there are people out there who are wondering how I am. So this is for you people

(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)₊˚⊹ ᰔ

#I would kill to be able to draw especially the requests I’ve been getting #ughghgngjhgg school sucks but education is needed #ignore me #sometimes when I get high I feel so much love swelling I just wanna tell y’all how I’ve been and be your best friends #ignore me again #I’m rambling #time to do ME- I MEAN MATH

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thefixeraa · 2 years ago

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i’m furious so i’m going to rant , it will be under a read more so honestly feel free to ignore the fuck out of this .

so had my annual review today , and it was horrible . i left the meeting upset , angry and devalued as a employee . mainly my customer service is shit , hey we all know this because i’ve been saying it since day fucking one ( and even told my main manager three months in on my first one v one meeting that one : despite my previous experience in customer service and doing it well , i find that my own issues regarding face to fact interactions with other people , because of many reasons . is difficult for me to play this customer service part that is happy and smile-y and honestly ridden with toxic positivity despite the fact someone might be a complete dick head to me . two : my mental health is not what it used to be because i’m actively taking steps to heal . )

but then they were nit - picking things about my performance , as an example i had to yell for a manager because at the time i couldn’t take cash - i had just clocked in , thirty fucking minutes early mind you ... i had to count my till in and other than that it wasn’t my register , so i couldn’t take someone’s cash on that register . but because i was attempting to explain why i couldn’t take cash , they said it confused the customer more . like excuse me for having to explain the situation to a customer . maybe that’s just my irrational response to things , but i literally just started my shift . it is technically my monday . give me a fucking break . oh and let me not start talking about how i’m not approachable to do tasks , only because i have a “ face ” that suggests that i don’t want to be bothered .

point of the matter is , i have done pretty well despite my poor performance in customer service . yes it isn’t that good , but it’s not like i curse out every single customer . i have my good days and my really bad days - but despite that i still come early , i start my shift and i get things done . my manager asks me to do things , i do it and yes , that’s even with my bitch face ( sorry , i can’t always change the face i fucking have . ) this past year i have pushed myself to it’s limits , without much complaints , without much push back . i have burnt myself out , not once but twice and i’m currently in that sort of mental state right now . yet ? i am still a hard fucking worker . hell i’ve gotten fucking hives from being so stressed out with my personal shit and work combined BUT I FUCKING DON’T COMPLAIN ! i just keep pushing , like the good worker bee that i am . hell i didn’t take any sick days , minus my trip to italy . i worked hard for them when we were short staffed . i busted my ass during the holidays . i go out of my way to make sure everyone i work with is fucking communicating and seeing where they are at - because i don’t fucking just think about myself . when i get really worked up , i walk away and go outside instead of keeping myself at the register .

what pisses me off more is that despite everything , despite the burn out and clocking in early and doing the work and working hard . i didn’t “ earn ” my fucking raise . now i have to wait five fucking months to see if i have earned it . so in the end , my suffering and hard work doesn’t mean a god damn thing to them and this is fucking capitalism as its fucking finest .

#* out of chara .#feel free to ignoreeee #i don't even think i got out everything but i just needed to put #something out there #cause my head hurts from just frowning and thinking too hard #jkdhflksjhdf #fuck my managers.#customer service can kiss my ass

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angeljpg · 2 months ago

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a little (long) vent under the cut bc i feel like some of my girlies in the self improvement/wellness/manifestation space might relate…. and bc i want to explain why i haven’t been posting my usual content as often 🫶

sooooo some of you may have noticed that i haven’t been posting as much of my previous content lately. it’s also been taking me a lot longer to get out my write ups or even my more casual posts… here is why:

i’ve been dealing with health issues which has put me on my ass completely. i was diagnosed with anemia, which contributed to my anxiety and exercise intolerance. i also just… completely lost my appetite and ended up losing 14lbs when i was already pretty lean for my height to begin with. the combination of my health anxiety and this has made it incredible difficult to be motivated to make any posts about health/fitness knowing i haven’t been able to do much of anything except walking for months. and i still am not sure when i’ll be up and running normally. i’ve always been a person that practices what i preach so me not exercising had made me a lot less inclined to talk about exercise/health routines.

i had a really high stress job in a toxic work environment for a year. like i was the youngest person in the company, and YET i was in a managerial position in the middle of a merger and huge company losses. i genuinely girlbossed too close to the sun and rage quit about 3 weeks ago lmao because i couldn’t stand the way they wanted me to abuse my direct reports.

i haven’t felt motivated for manifestation which sounds literally ridiculous but like… when my brain was so mentally taxed from dealing with the health anxiety and my old job, i just wanted to shut down and go to sleep. i believe so much in manifestation and it’s what brought me so many positive things in my life, but i haven’t felt good or “in-tune” with my guides in months. i feel like i’m going through a tower moment rn and i’m just trying to stick it out until things get more stable. i think being more transparent about this feeling is helpful because the reality of manifesting is that you’re not always going to feel 100% incredible all the time with your practice, but you keep it going because it’s the journey.

the online space that i operate in (the wellness/self-improvement/manifestation community) has increasingly become more and more… bizarre to me. and i don’t mean this as a direct attack on any specific creator or person (!!!) but i find that a lot of the newer posts i see tend to lean towards complete delusion and denial of reality which imo is not a healthy way to go through life or make lasting positive changes in your world. there’s also this glorification of specific celebrity women and projecting all of these ideals onto them about how they live their life, when they’re just beautiful girls with great PR marketing behind them. they’re still human but i feel like these spaces rarely treat them as such. also, there’s an undercurrent of right wing ideology that has been surfacing in these groups that actively work to oppress women but disguise it as “hypergamy” or “leveling up.” encouraging women to be hyper submissive and romanticizing outdated, exclusionary ideals of femininity that are literally just crafted to sell us more things and keep us silent.

in conclusion…. i’ll still be posting here and things but i will be pacing myself and working to share content i feel is helpful in a more realistic way. i think with the current economy, there are some luxuries that aren’t attainable for the majority of the population right now, and i want to cultivate a safe space for everyone to engage with regardless of their income/demographic/etc.

if you read….. all of this ily and take care of yourself

#vent #the election has me needing to just……… be transparent in hopes that someone that needs to hear it will find solidarity with me idk #i also didn’t proof read this so if there’s errors i’m sorry

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scripttorture · 4 years ago

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My setting is like the real world but with various mythical otherworlds secretly connected to ours. One character with powers of psychic illusion was raised by an MiB-style intelligence and/or secret police force (tasked with keeping otherworldly beings from causing trouble in our world) that trained her to mentally torture people. I want to make this character somewhat sympathetic, so it is plausible for her to be indoctrinated as a torturer from childhood? Does it depend how young they start?

Anon I don’t think this is a good idea. There’s an awful lot to unpack here about why that is so I’m going to start off with a simple question that effects how you move forward: what’s most important for you about this character?

Is it that she’s sympathetic? That she’s effective at her job? That she’s highly skilled and trained? That she’s part of a productive organisation that can actually do the tasks it sets out to?

Because if she’s a torturer then realistically she would be none of those things. And making her any of them is (in my opinion) torture apologia: because it is portraying a torturer in an extremely unrealistic way that favours the torturer and excuses the abuse they carry out.

You would, literally, be repeating lies popularised by real life torturers.

Torture does not work. It is impossible to get accurate, timely information by using torture. Here’s an introduction to why. Here’s a post on what torture does to investigations. Here’s a guide to writing what torture does to interrogations. Here’s a list of investigative strategies that actually work. Here’s a post on the damage torture does to human memory. Please read these masterposts and take a look at my sources as well.

Torturers are not indoctrinated radicals. The organisations that torturers are part of actively try to screen out anything they see as radical, deviant or a product of illness. There aren’t enough studies on torturers for me to give you a break down of their politics but my impression from the anecdotes and interviews I’ve read? Their politics is ‘normal’ and mainstream for the organisation they are part of. Whatever that organisation is.

Torturers are not taught from a young age because torture is not complex. It does not take months to learn how to hit someone. Torturers learn on the job by assisting other torturers.

Torture is simple. It is functionally easy. I really can’t stress that enough. The most common tortures globally right now are: hitting people, depriving them of food and depriving them of sleep. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that six year olds could come up with that list.

Hurting people is not complicated. It requires no skill and no training.

The evidence we have suggests torturers lose skills as they turn to torture, a process Rejali calls ‘de-skilling’. The basic idea is pretty simple: if you spend all day hitting people instead of practicing what you were trained for (gathering evidence for example) you get so out of practice that you start to forget how to do those things.

And then there’s the effect that torture has on torturers. They get symptoms. They develop lasting, serious, mental health problems which directly effect their ability to do their jobs.

I have a list of the common symptoms here as well as a rough guide for how many symptoms you should be considering for torturers and torture survivors.

Separate to the symptoms is the general pattern of behaviour torturers exhibit. We don’t have a lot of high quality studies on torturers and there are a lot of questions we do not have clear answers to. However the studies and the anecdotal evidence of survivors, witnesses and torturers themselves points to some consistent behaviours.

Torturers don’t work alone. They form little sub-cultures within larger organisations. These groups are incredibly aggressive, competitive, self-important, hyper-masculine and violent. Torturers look down on everybody else. They are convinced that they are the most important people in their organisation, the only one’s doing ‘real work’. They have an arrogant, puffed up pride that combines with mental illness and seeing their colleagues as competition to create the worst asshole you’ve ever had the misfortune of working with.

They do not cooperate with other people. They use abuse as a pissing contest, competing to see who can be the most brutal in order to try and ‘impress’ fellow torturers.

They define strength and group loyalty by hurting other people.

They have a fracturing effect on organisations, because they don’t obey orders and see their colleagues as competition or useless. At the low end of the scale this means cliques, secrets from the larger organisation and a terrible working environment as they bully and belittle their colleagues. At the high end of the scale there are cases where torturers have attacked and murdered people within the same organisation.

Does any of that sound sympathetic?

I like a challenge when I write. I’ve described my writing style as ‘hold my beer’ because I tend to take ideas other people dismiss as impossible to pull off and try my best to make them work. I do this because I love exploring human complexity through fiction.

A torturer who is currently torturing is not a sympathetic person. They are a bullying, violent, arrogant brute who contributes nothing useful to the organisation they latch on to, sucking up time and resources like a tick. They see other people as garbage. And they lack insight into their own crimes. Which means they do not appreciate or acknowledge the pain and damage they cause.

Now I have written a character who is an ex-torturer who I think is sympathetic in some ways. But getting to the point where they could be sympathetic meant them having to leave the organisation they were part of on a stretcher.

Their fellow torturers turned on them. They lost a leg. They changed sides and in the middle of a messy civil war they dedicated themselves to keeping their friend’s children safe.

And I had to set the story twenty years after these events to get that character out of their own ass enough for them to be sympathetic.

Even then, I’d say they’re sympathetic in spite of having been a torturer. Because they’re still clinging to that insistence that they did something meaningful. They still can’t accept the extent of their own crimes or the effects those crimes had.

But their pride broke. And they did keep those children alive. They helped raise them. And the tie to those children is what makes them sympathetic by the time of the story.

Torturers are not sympathetic people. They are self absorbed abusers who bend over backwards to downplay the harm they did to their victims and to justify their crimes.

Is that really what you want to write?

I say that, not to be harsh, but because it sounds to me as though what you actually want to write is a genuine investigator with psychic powers.

It sounds as though you want to write a character who is good at her job. Who is skilled and dedicated and a great person to work with.

If that’s the case my advice is to ditch the torture entirely. Look at the masterpost on genuine investigation instead and write a character who is good at interviewing people.

Have her use her psychic powers to present herself as sympathetic to the criminals she’s interviewing. Because she can walk into a room and know their politics, their religious beliefs, their internal justifications for what they’ve done. And she can use that, may be even manipulatively, to seem like someone the prisoner would like, someone they’d agree with.

That gets people talking.

And if you want to show her as ruthless, as having an edge to her, that can still work.

Imagine someone sitting down across from a suspect, holding their hands, smiling, talking to them gently. Imagine them gradually, kindly, getting this suspect’s life story. Imagine them being sympathetic about the reason the suspect murdered someone, validating the murder’s feelings and may be even actions… Right up until they have the information they need.

Then they turn on a dime. The persona drops, the false-sympathy drains away. They stand up with a sneer and say they hope the murderer never sees the light of day again. And walk out.

Think about what you want from the story Anon. A character who tortures, or a character who is competent, smart and sympathetic.

Because it really is one or the other.

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #tw police brutality #fantasy ask #torture does not work #torture apologia #torture as interrogation #effective interrogation #effective investigation #effect of torture on torturers #writing torturers #behaviour of torturers #effect of torture on organisations #torturers are not omniscient #ways torture fails

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hongism · 4 years ago

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the little things - c.san

↣ pairing: san x reader; poly ot8 x reader ↣ genre: sfw, fluff, slight angst, fantasy au, witch ateez au ↣ wc: 3.3k ↣ summary: one of your favorite things to do is look at the stars with san ↣ warnings: none !

“You’re out rather early.”

You don’t turn towards the source of the voice; just hearing him speak is enough of a clue for you to know exactly who it is. Although, even if he hadn’t spoken, you’re sure you would have known from the flutter of wings that resounded before his arrival.

“The stars are prettiest right before dawn breaks,” you sigh, hugging your arms a bit tighter around your knees. Your new companion moves forward and comes to a stop beside you. He doesn’t sit down quite yet; for a while, he merely stands at your side and stares up at the same sky hanging above your heads. The time is roughly four o’clock in the morning — a late night for you and an early morning for San — but your words hold true. The glimmering stars are tucked behind fluffy and luscious clouds that seem to herald coming rain, and they shine against a midnight blue background that seems infinitely deep.

San sinks down to sit beside you at last, tossing his legs over the lip of the stone wall you’re perched on, and he sways his legs in rhythm with an unknown melody. You squeeze your knees as you press your cheek to one of them, enough to have a clear view of San’s pretty side profile against a landscape of green pine trees and shining stars.

“I thought you were out here to look at the stars,” San whispers. He glances at you out the corner of his eye. There’s no malice in his speech, just a hint of teasing, and you can’t keep your lips from quirking into a smile.

“I’m looking at you instead.”

“I should be the one looking at you, little star.” San turns his chin to face you, and his dimples flash as he grins back through the hazy moonlit night. “Our precious star,” he murmurs before reaching a hand out to trace over your forehead, slipping down to your temple then to your cheek and dragging the pads of his fingers over your skin in an unknown pattern.

“Why are you up so early?”

“Waiting for Hongjoong,” San says through a sigh. His hand retracts as quickly as it made contact, and you can’t pretend to be oblivious as to why. Things are always… harsh for San when Hongjoong is gone. It’s much worse when it’s a job like Hongjoong’s current one where the witch has to be gone for weeks at a time. Then San becomes quite volatile and hard to deal with — it only makes sense when a familiar is separate from his master for so long. Seonghwa tries to do damage control every time, tries to use techniques that normally help his own familiar Yeosang calm down, but they never work for San. Hongjoong is the only person and thing that can quell the anxieties and worries and stress that flow through San’s veins in times like these. And seeing as they are a bonded pair, it makes the connection of sharing emotional states weaker. They can’t share emotions this far apart, and that weighs heavily on San’s shoulders after being so used to sharing his heart in such a way for so long. Even if Hongjoong has a tendency to cut San off from feeling the brunt of his negative emotions, there’s still a lingering knowledge that the other is right there, just within grasp.

Not now, however.

San has gone three long weeks without even a breath of a whisper from Hongjoong.

And tonight (this morning? Today? Whatever time it may be) the witch is supposed to return. San’s nerves must be getting to him if he’s out this early because usually he would curl up in Hongjoong’s bed and await the witch there, presenting himself like a neatly wrapped present for the other to unravel with warm kisses and soft touches.

San clenches his fingers blindly around the lip of the wall.

“Tell me a story?” You inquire out of the blue. Your eyes shift to look up at the sky again. San huffs out a weak laugh.

“What kind?”

“Hm, how you and Hongjoong met?”

A risky choice, maybe, but you know how near and dear that tale is to San’s heart, and how much comfort it brings him in simply thinking of it. So it is also a very wise choice on your behalf. San’s lips twitch into the shadow of a smile.

“You’ve heard it so many times already…”

“I’ll give you something in return,” you coo, reaching out to pinch the skin around San’s elbow. He yelps like a kicked dog and offers up a deep pout that has you ready to tease him further.

“Seven kisses.”

“Seven?” You echo. Confusion slips into your tone. You can’t recall any significance to the number seven, nor can you remember whether it’s supposed to have special meaning.

“One for each time I’ve told you this story,” San murmurs, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to the tip of your nose. You scowl at the faint sensation as a laugh nearly escapes you, but you manage to bite it back enough to smile again.

“I always forgot how good a crow’s memory is.”

“Ravens remember well too, little star.”

You poke your tongue out between your lips in his direction, and San merely laughs at your expression before shifting closer to you. He loops a hand around one of yours, pulling it away from the leg you have propped up on the rock wall, then he loops his fingers through yours.

“Several hundred winters ago, this land we live in now held very different values and laws. The people were cruel and brash, only using their fists and crude weapons to handle gathering food and protecting their women and children. No one imagined there was any other way of doing things — the people knew nothing of what gentle prowess magic could offer.” San glances over at you, drawing a laugh from your lips when he makes eye contact with you. You shake your head ever so slightly.

“I didn’t mean for you to give me the version that’s in books and legends…”

San dares to giggle at that, and a moment later, he’s shifting his position so that he can rest his head against your thigh and look up at the stars like that. You have to push your other leg down to accommodate the shift, and once San is comfortably staring up at the sky with you, he begins speaking again.

“I was alone. It wasn’t something new; I was used to it at that point. Ravens don’t have the longest lifespan, and I was still a young familiar at the time. I had no owner or master. My mother’s master left our nest after she passed, leaving me with two sisters who were sick and close to death. They were too ill to shift to their human forms, so I couldn’t bring them to an apothecary or village. Ravens are seen as bad omens after all; had I brought them to a town, they would have been killed on the spot. I spent some time going between our nest and the nearest village, stealing food and medicine where I could because I couldn’t afford it. I worked some too, little odd jobs here and there, but it was a lot of delivery work. Made it easy to steal thankfully. Then… well, one day, I got too bold and tried pickpocketing a high-ranking guardsman. He was some lieutenant or something like that, I don’t remember. Too many years have passed since then. But I got caught trying to lift some coin off him in a bar, and he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out to the streets. He was planning on killing me right then and there with no trial, but some short little witch came stalking up without a care in the world and knocked the guard on his ass. He was going on and on about how rude it is to grab random people off the street like that.”

“Of course he would,” you murmur, a bit of fondness slipping into your tone. “Don’t let him catch you calling him short though.”

“Eh, he’ll survive. In any case, when the guard tried explaining that I was trying to pickpocket him, this witch extended a hand to me and asked if I needed help. I naturally said no because I didn’t think I could trust him, then took off running. I went back to my nest in the hopes of finding my sisters and telling them to get out of the area, yet when I got there, they were already gone. It had been nearly two years since my mother passed, so they were well enough to do things on their own at that point, but they’d never up and left like that without warning. I couldn’t do anything but stay and wait for their return. We’d gathered some food and supplies, so I was able to live off of it for several months before needing to depart for more again. The entire time, not once did my sisters return. They just… disappeared into thin air. I waited every day, wondered when they would come back, and some nights I would stay awake all night flying around the area in search of them.”

“That part always breaks my heart,” you whisper. Stretching a hand down, you drag your fingers along the curve of San’s cheekbones then his jaws, torn away from the stars as you look at the familiar.

“Why? Had it not happened, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I know but…”

“But Hongjoong found me,” San continues through a smile. You huff but let him finish the story, pointedly ignoring the curling grin he sends your way. “After a few months, I started noticing magical residue near my nest. And sure enough, that little witch from before was setting up camp nearby. I did nothing at first, watched him from afar for a while, then I got brave enough to try to lift a few things from his camp. That turned out to be quite the mistake because he caught me within three seconds of setting foot into that camp. And yet… instead of threatening to kill me or harming me, the little witch simply asked if I was alone. ”Are you alone? Do you have anyone with you? A master? I feel your magical energy yet it doesn’t seem normal. You must be a familiar. Where is your master?“ When I said I had no master and was on my own, the little witch was… hm, I would say he was both confused and concerned. Said it was no good for a familiar to go without a master. Without one, I would die within a few years. He suggested that I hurry along with finding one, and I explained I had absolutely no one else in my life.”

“And after that?”

San hums to himself a bit, bringing his hands up above his head as he stares at the night sky. A delicate little smile graces his pretty lips and squeezes his dimples out, but he doesn’t speak any other words for quite some time. The next voice you hear doesn’t even belong to him.

“After that, I invited San to spend some time in my care and work an honest job for me before going on his way to finding a master.”

Hongjoong.

You twist your neck towards the source of the voice, finding the witch standing a little ways away from the wall you and San are currently seated on, and he grins through the moonlit night at you. San jolts upwards at the sound of his master. The smile that splits his lips is so broad and heartwarming that it feels too intimate to look at, even for you who shares in their love for one another. It’s different for them, and you know that, even if it’s just a different strain of the same love, it’s different nonetheless. San hops off the wall in one swift move, closing the distance between his and Hongjoong’s bodies within seconds.

“As it turns out, we were…we did quite well together. And thus, here we are,” Hongjoong says as he lets San press his nose into the curve of his neck. “I’m sorry I was gone so long. Had to make a few extra stops along the way to gather some supplies. How was he?” Hongjoong directs the words to you, watching with careful yet loving eyes as you pull yourself down from the wall as well and step closer to him and San. The familiar will be like this for a while; unmoving and unresponsive as he soaks in Hongjoong’s presence again and drowns himself in the sensation of having all those feelings doubled once more. Hongjoong will try to ease the burden as much as he can for both their sake, and you’ll do what you do best: taking care of both of them when it gets to be too overwhelming. While Seonghwa and Yeosang (who don’t go a long time without each other anyway) don’t have to deal with this type of ordeal, Hongjoong and San always do. Hongjoong thinks it has something to do with how frequent his trips are, or perhaps the lingering sensation of separation anxiety that San suffers from given his past. Either way, it makes their reunions that much more emotionally taxing and intense. Even you, who has not a drop of magical ability in your body, can feel the sheer power radiating off them both right in this moment.

“You came home at the right time. He was getting antsy,” you murmur back, reaching up to comb your fingers through the long hair at the base of San’s scalp.

“Next time I’ll leave you all with a bit more of a safety net.”

“Or you could come back sooner.”

Hongjoong nearly rolls his eyes, and you catch the way he stops himself just beforehand. The annoyance in his features is nothing serious, only something because he’s heard such words a hundred times over.

“No doubt you haven’t slept yet?” He inquires, trying his best to make his way to the door of the coven’s home. San proves to be quite the obstruction, as it seems, and Hongjoong has to hoist the slightly larger man up enough to loop his legs around the smaller’s waist. Hongjoong grunts from the added weight but manages to carry San the rest of the way with no other complaints. You trail along beside them, taking care of opening the door and grabbing Hongjoong’s satchel once inside.

“Welcome home, my sweet starlight. I see our star and bird found you before I could.” Seonghwa is the first to greet the three of you upon stepping inside. You only notice Yeosang’s sleek black cat form slinking around the hearth witch’s ankles when you’re helping Hongjoong out of his shoes.

“Mm, they were waiting outside,” Hongjoong mumbles into the chaste kiss Seonghwa delivers to his lips. Seonghwa also places a sweet kiss on the back of San’s head before Hongjoong steps around the taller man, continuing to carry San as he goes.

“Mingi fell asleep in your bed last night, so don’t be surprised if you find him there,” Seonghwa calls out over his shoulder. You stretch up to your tiptoes in front of him, half-expecting the kiss that he presses to your lips a few seconds later, but the sudden appearance of Yeosang’s human form popping up on your left is much less expected. You nearly jump out of your skin, and probably would have if not for Seonghwa placing a steadying hand on your hip.

“You haven’t slept either,” Yeosang comments, nose pushing hard against your cheek. You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

“No need to lecture. I’m going up with them, don’t worry.”

“I’ll come by after Jongho heads out for morning work.” Yeosang smiles a little before turning on his heel and heading back into the kitchen, no doubt where Jongho waits. Seonghwa huffs out a laugh but sends you on your way without any more conversation. You catch him slipping back into the kitchen as well just as you start climbing the stairs behind Hongjoong.

“Did San fall asleep already?” You ask after the man. You can barely see the familiar’s face from how hard he has it pressed into Hongjoong’s neck, but his eyes seem to have fallen shut at some point. He’s either basking in Hongjoong’s presence as much as he can or he’s entered a pleasant state of unconsciousness with Hongjoong’s warmth around him.

“Almost. He’s calming down some though. I’ll put him in bed with Mingi then take a bath. Care to join?”

“Such a temptress,” you snort to his back.

“I’m only joking, my dear. Keep San and Mingi company while I’m washing up for me instead? We can bathe together another day.”

“Of course darling,” you murmur, drawing a hand across his shoulders once the two of you reach his door. “Be quick though. Mingi will want some time to cuddle before he joins Jongho for yard work.”

As Seonghwa warned, Mingi is already curled up into a tight ball in the center of Hongjoong’s bed when you enter the room. It’s not hard to move his lanky limbs to the side to make room for San, and when Hongjoong eases the familiar down to the mattress, Mingi immediately takes to curling his body around the smaller man like it’s an act of pure instinct. San nuzzles into the touch, releasing a content little hum. You feel a hand brush the small of your back and jerk to look Hongjoong in the eye. Turns out, it was only a way to distract you because he captures your lips in a quick kiss that tastes a bit of honey and cinnamon. You have no time to savor the taste, however; Hongjoong pulls away just as quick and mumbles something about being quick to clean up. You bring a hand up to touch the spot where his lips just were. The smile that overtakes your face is one you can’t hold back, and now it’s your turn to be content and happy as you pull the sheets back to join Mingi and San under the covers. A large hand clamps down hard on your waist, tugging you flush against San’s chest.

“Where’s my kiss?” Mingi’s voice rises through the silence, thick and groggy from sleep. You reach around San to smack him as gently as possible on the arm.

“Go back to bed.”

“Joong home yet?”

“Mhm, he’ll be in bed in just a bit.”

“Good,” Mingi sighs. He settles back into the mattress, maintaining his hold on you around San’s body, and you twist just enough to lean over the sleeping familiar.

“Kiss,” you murmur, and Mingi rushes to meet you halfway with a cheeky grin. “Okay, now sleep. You don’t have long before you have to be up.”

It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep wrapped up in that embrace, and even when Hongjoong does finally come to bed, he doesn’t stir you from sleep except for the barest sensation of lips against your forehead. You might hear him mutter some loving words to all three of you, perhaps lingering a little while longer on San because he knows the familiar needs that reassurance and comfort right now more than ever, but once he settles down and tucks your head against his chest, a wildly comfortable and deep sleep overcomes you.

#atzinc #kwritersworldnet #kdiarynet #ateez x reader #san x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez fic #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #choi san x reader #san fluff #san angst #san imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez drabbles #ateez drabble #ateez scenario

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mystic-sky · 4 years ago

Note

This is just a request, but do you think you can write something short about gojo meeting his s/o who is a poc and how he’d react to her curly hair 🥺👉🏾👈🏾 the fandom is still pretty new so there’s not a lot of poc drabbles out there if any at all.

Here you go bby, I hope you enjoy 💕✨

Summary: An AU where you’re a sorcerest whose stationed in Japan due to the National Sorcerer Exchange Program I just made up lol. Even though it’s your first encounter Satoru is a big flirt, as usual✨💘

Word count: 1.7k

It was annoying, being one of the few special grade sorcerers based in Tokyo. Satoru Gojo often wished he could duplicate himself at least three or four times, just to reduce some of the workload stress he had. The older he got, the more he wished he wasn’t the strongest- and that’s a pretty surprising statement on his end.

He felt he couldn’t catch a break. Between special grade work, his students and now looking after Yuji Itadori, who hysterically swallowed a special grade object, he had a lot on his plate.

It was hardly a burden for him. He only wished he could be in multiple places at once. This way, he could make sure the higher ups wouldn’t mess with his students, who meant so much to him.

In sight of the increased special grade activity in Japan and several other countries, the first ever Sorcerer Exchange program was implemented by higher ups across the world. It would ensure that special and first grade sorcerers were evenly spread out and or placed in regions that needed special attention. Satoru wasn’t particularly fond of anything the higher ups did, but this idea wasn’t so bad.

“A government funded, international sorcerer exchange program,” Yaga informs Satoru, who sits across from him, idly drinking his tea.

“And how does this work exactly?” Satoru raises a brow at Yaga before dropping cubes of sugar into his cup, stirring loudly.

“For 6 month spans, high level sorcerers who applied to the exchange will be stationed in different countries to regulate curse activity.”

“Sounds like it pays more. Nanamin might like that.”

“It does, depending on your skill level.” Yaga sits back in his seat. “We’ve already received a few sorcerers from America, Africa, China, Russia-”

“All special grade?” Satoru interjects.

“Currently the exchange program only allows special and first grade sorcerers. Considering the high levels of cursed energy around the world this year, it would be best if we avoided any casualties by placing inexperienced sorcerers in the wrong places.”

“That reminds me. You’re prohibited from participating, considering we’re a red area. Until cursed activity improves here you won’t be allowed to participate.”

“Aww c’mon, you guys suck.” Satoru cocks his head back, sighing loudly.

He already traveled a lot for special grade missions but never for more than a few days. Now there was a whole six-month program and he wasn’t allowed to participate in it? Then again, he couldn’t leave Yuji here with the possibility of the higher ups trying to hurt him again. He promised himself he would protect all of his students.

“There are several meetings I must attend tomorrow and I’d like for you to be there. Don’t be late.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that all you wanted to talk about?” Satoru is already up and gripping the handle on the office door.

“I’ve also decided to assign a co-teacher to your first years, for your shorter stationed trips every now and then. She’s an extremely talented special grade from the exchange program. So you needn’t worry of a repeat of the detention center incident with Yuji.”

He had already swung the door open, towering above your body in the door frame. Your nose is barely touching his jacket, and hand almost touching his chest as you were attempting to knock. You take a step back, a bit startled.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I tried to knock,” you say, looking up at the blindfolded man in front of you. “I’m looking for Masamichi Yaga?”

Satoru is startled by your flawless Japanese, considering you’re clearly not of Japanese descent. He took note of your tan skin and big, curly hair that was pinned back in certain spots to display your face.

What a cutie.

“No, I’m Satoru Gojo. Principal Yaga’s the one sitting behind me.” He’s not entirely surprised by your appearance, considering he’s traveled all over the world to fight curses. “And you are?”

You almost think he’s flirting, considering how smooth the question was. Also, you’re now recognizing who he is, cheeks reddening a bit.

“I’m (Full Name). You’re the special grade I’m going to be subbing with for the first years! I’ve heard great things!” You politely bow a bit.

“I know.” His grin large and cocky as he steps out the way, allowing you to walk in. “No need to be so formal though.”

You’re slightly put off by his attitude, but principal Yaga interjects quickly.

“(Last Name), come in. I’ve been awaiting your arrival. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Yaga is on his feet now, bowing towards you.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too. I’m excited to work with you all.” You say as he motions you to sit and have some tea.

Satoru has found a reason to stay in the room, plopping down beside you and taking up his tea he had previously abandoned.

“Thanks for sending Ichiji to the airport to help with my belongings. I brought so much stuff, I hope it wasn’t too much for him.” You brain flashes back to Ichiji struggling to hold all of your luggage outside the baggage claim.

“Pffft, feel free to call on him whenever you want. That’s what he’s here for.” Satoru assures you, flashing you a toothy grin. You get the feeling that he probably made Ichiji’s job a living hell.

“I must say, Ms. (Last Name), your Japanese is remarkable. How did you become so fluent?” Yaga asks, filling your cup.

“I’m flattered. I taught myself what I could before attending (insert random ass college name in Japan) University. I’ve always admired Japanese culture so I studied it pretty hard. I can also speak (Native language, if you have one) and (two other languages of your choosing).”

“Wow, your Japanese is better than most locals.” Satoru chuckled. “And you’re pretty too. Lucky me.”

You shifted in place on the sofa. The most powerful sorcerer known to man was sitting beside you and he was complimenting you.

“Thank you,” you say loosely, picking up your teacup.

“Ahem,” Yaga interrupts, earning a tiny snort from Satoru.

“He hates it when I flirt.” Satoru whispers as he leans over towards you. Your face feels a bit hot, and you decide it’s from the steam of the tea in your face and not the handsome man leaning a bit too close to you. You set the cup down after the lightest sip.

“I hate to get down to business so soon Ms. (Last Name), but I’d like for you to get settled in as soon as possible. I’ve mapped out a few assignments for you this week. This is your first.” He slides the first report across the table.

“There have been several reports of abnormal cursed energy in Shinjuku City. It’s likely a special grade. I’d like for you to get to the bottom of it. It shouldn’t be a problem, considering your level of expertise. I’ve forwarded the documents to you as well.” The glint in his glasses makes you chuckle a bit. You flip through the report briefly.

“I skimmed this one on the flight. Whatever it is,” you begin, taking out your phone, “seems to be luring children. This corresponds with the rise in missing childrens’ cases I read about in Shinjuku.”

You place the article on your phone down on the table for principal Yaga to read. You liked to do your own research on locals news to see if curses had any sort of correspondence with a certain area’s events.

“You think a curse is kidnapping children?” Satoru suggests.

“It’s just a hunch. It’s nothing I haven’t encountered before.” You bite the nail on your thumb, realizing the inevitable.

“Unfortunately, if I’m correct, those children most likely aren’t alive.”

You stand up, firmly.

“I trust you’ll take care of it then,” Yaga hands your device towards you.

“Most definitely,” you look at your watch. “And I’ll be done before dinner.”

You offer the principal a smile before you slip on your trench coat, eager to take on your first mission.

“By all means, it can wait until the morning after you’ve rested.” Yaga persists.

“Nope! Not when children are potentially involved. I can’t risk it.” You straighten your clothes, and bow once more. “I’ll report back soon.”

“(Name) doesn’t let jet lag stop her from doing her job. What an admirable woman.” Satoru cooed.

“Well, Gojo-san, it was a pleasure meeting you.” You begin to wave but Satoru is on his feet, and right behind you, making you stumble back again.

“Oh no, I’m coming with you.” He grins. “I’ve gotta see what the most powerful special grade sorceress is capable of in person.”

While you had heard of your own nickname before, you hated when people called you that. You tried your best to be humble about it. There’s always new ways to improve your cursed technique, even if you don’t know how yet.

“So you do know who I am,” you shifted your stance, hands on your hips.

“I’ve heard a few things,” he says slyly. “But I’d like to see them first hand.”

“Hmph, alright then. I suppose you can show me around Shinjuku. It’s been a while since I’ve been there.” You flip your hair, making your way towards the door.

“And it’s your lucky day, I feel like showing off.” You say, peaking over your shoulder.

“Great, it’s a date.”

You stop dead in your tracks, just two steps out of Yaga’s office.

“What?”

“Even after four years of university in Japan? I said, it’s a date.”

The door shuts behind him, and his grin is even more smug.

The audacity.

“You’re not going on a date with me unless you ask me properly.” You roll your eyes, swaying down the steps. So this was Satoru Gojo.

“C’mon sweetheart, we’d be iconic as hell— the strongest man and the strongest woman? We’d be unstoppable.”

“I don’t even know what you look like underneath that thing.” You say, motioning towards his blindfold.

Oh , but you lied. You’d seen his Instagram.

He was a selfie fanatic. That and a cake fiend.

“Wanna see right now? Will it change your mind?” His voice low and steady behind you.

“I’ve got a curse to excorcise.” You roll your eyes, speeding up ahead of him. It didn’t help much considering his legs were so long.

“You know you wanna,” he bends down, voice deep in your ear.

“I’m not listening~

You’re far ahead of him now, attempting to hide the heat on your face and hearing deep chuckles echo behind you.

“Ah, this is going to be the best six months ever!” He laughs heartily.

A small smile crept on your lips.

Maybe it would be.

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x POC reader #jjk gojo #poc fic #jujutsu kaisen #gojo sensei #jjk #jjk x reader #gojo saturo #jjk fluff #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu sorcerer #gojo x satoro x reader

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years ago

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 25, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Holy crap, Episode 25! We’re halfway through! *Cue Bon Jovi*

Hunt Invitation

After taking a nice long break to watch Word of Honor pick lotus pods, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli return to stressing over the shitshow that is the post-Sunshot cultivation world. Jin Zixuan has come to invite them to the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, with a special invitation from his mother to Jiang Yanli. Jiang Cheng reacts to this in a mature and reasonable manner, while Wei Wuxian...doesn't.

On the surface, Jiang Cheng has matured in recent months; much more than Wei Wuxian, with his secret burdens, has. But it's only on the surface, as we'll see later in the episode, when Jiang Cheng's insecurity will take the reins.

Jin Zixuan is adorably pleased by Jiang Yanli's acceptance of the invitation. Wei Wuxian is less pleased, but sort of tries to suck it up.

Jin Zixuan kind of undercuts the romance of his errand by asking Wei Wuxian for the Yin tiger amulet as soon as Jiang Yanli is out of earshot.

As always, Jin Zixuan makes an impression by being the best Jin currently in existence, but the Jins are terrible. JZX is working to advance his dad's ambitions, and as such he is currently Wei Wuxian's enemy.

(more after the cut)

Opening Ceremonies

There's a bunch of cultivators arranged for the opening ceremony. Later someone will say that this is more than 5 thousand people. Ok, sure.

As I've said before, it's best to think of it like a theatre production and assume the other 4,900 people are offstage or, you know, painted on the backdrop.

The young lead cultivators from the four main clans are standing together. Nie Huaisang is trying out some new body armor.

The clan leaders are seated up on the stage, along with Jin Furen and Jiang Yanli. Unfortunately Jin Furen doesn't seem to have a personal name that I can discover. Her title Fūrén ( 夫人) means she's the primary wife of the head of the family, according to this excellent meta.

So “Madame Jin” is a decent translation...if you're French? I feel like instead of English subtitles including borrowed words from French (”Marquis” in NIH), Greek (”Water of Lethe” in WOH), and other European languages, we could try borrowing Chinese words instead. Jin Zixuan's mom is titled, not named, Jin Furen. Since we don’t know her actual name, I'll call her that and abbreviate it JFR.

Wei Wuxian's childishness continues at the opening of the hunt, as does Jiang Yanli's encouragement of his childishness. I know she's had a rough couple of years, and it's understandable to want to baby her little brother out of a sense of nostalgia. But it's not good for him, and she shouldn't do it; she should encourage him to be more mature, just as she does with Jiang Cheng.

War Crimes Contest

Jin Guangyao says they're going to have an archery competition, and they're going to liven it up by endangering some prisoners. These prisoners are Wens in Wen cultivator uniforms, meaning they're not the noncombatants that were being hunted down earlier. But they’re still helpless people in chains.

There are three different reactions when the Wen prisoners are brought out. All the Jins are pleased, or neutral. All of the Jiangs, including Wei Wuxian, are upset.

The Nies and the Lans, what we see of them, are a little shocked, but not obviously upset. Based on those reactions, it seems like this is a maneuver that in-world is considered shocking and cruel, but not necessarily unethical or immoral. Shocking, cruel displays of power are pretty normal in this world; remember when Wen Chao lit a Lan cultivator on fire just to say hello, and nobody complained?

This whole scenario, of course, has been designed to provoke Wei Wuxian. One major goal of this event, and the whole reason for wanting Wei Wuxian to come, is to get the Yin Tiger amulet. Making him lose his shit in front of 100 5000 cultivators is a good step toward compelling him to hand the amulet over.

We see Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli both signaling Wei Wuxian to keep it together, and he takes a step back and tries to chill.

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan seems annoyed by all this, and goes to take a shot at it, making it clear from his demeanor that this is easy and JGY is making a show of nothing.

He hovers in the air and makes a perfect shot, pleasing most of the crowd and impressing Jiang Yanli.

Then his cousin Jin Zixun taunts the crowd, challenging anyone to do better. This presents a bit of a problem for Wei Wuxian. For the sake of the Wen prisoners, Wei Wuxian should just take this taunting and let the contest end, if no-one else is willing to take a shot. But for the sake of the Jiang Clan’s status, and his continued control of the Yin Tiger amulet, he needs to put the Jins in their place.

Every Day is Blindfold Day

This moral dilemma is resolved with an abrupt tonal shift, where the humanitarian concerns of all parties seem to vanish. Wei Wuxian flirts embarrassingly with Lan Wangji and then goes as far over the top in besting Jin Zixuan as it's possible to go.

The flirting hits differently, incidentally, when you edit Jiang Cheng's annoyed reaction out of it:

Lan Wangji doesn't seem embarrassed by Wei Wuxian's request, despite it happening in front of 100 5000 of their fellow cultivators. He looks Wei Wuxian straight in the eye for longer than necessary before turning away; it’s not exactly stern disapproval. We’ll get very used to this look, in Wei Wuxian’s second life.

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian carries a blindfold with him wherever he goes, (gifset here), and he is such a good cultivator he can hit 5 parallel targets simultaneously without even holding his bow straight or tightening the string.

(OP fixed the angle of the bow for this gif, which is why everyone is standing on a hill in the background).

Everyone is pleased by this shot except Jins Guangyao and Zixun; even the Jin cultivators are clapping, and Madame Jin is presumably this happy any time Jin Guangyao’s plans go wrong.

With that they start the hunt. Jin Zixun challenges Wei Wuxian to do the whole hunt blindfolded. Wei Wuxian agrees, but the censorship committee said no, apparently, so we don’t get to see that.

Flute Hunting

We do get to see Wei Wuxian luring monsters into his nets by being too sexy for his robe, too sexy for his robe, and playing the flute.

We also get to see Jiang cultivators looking puzzled while random monster roars happen in the woods around them. We do not get to see any monsters, which is probably just as well.

Jiang Cheng is annoyed and concerned, muttering "I told you not to overdo it" which means he didn't, you know, tell Wei Wuxian NOT to do this, just not to do it quite so well. Jiang Cheng knows what Wei Wuxian’s abilities are and he is making use of him, as he should, but he doesn’t have the courage of his convictions.

Tree Confession

Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji and starts to say hi, but then he has a desaturated flashback to Lan Xichen telling him to back off, so he stops himself. But then Lan Wangji comes over to talk to him.

Lan Wangji starts off talking to him about his latest anti-resentment musical discoveries, and Wei Wuxian pushes back, even calling him Lan Wangji, but gently. Wei Wuxian asks "who am I to you?" and Lan Wangji turns the question right back at him, then waits a looooooong time, eyes downcast, while Wei Wuxian thinks of a serious answer.

Wei Wuxian says "I used to treat you as my zhījǐ" --which, as we’ve discussed before, is variously translated soulmate, confidant, intimate friend--with a strong meaning of "the person who truly knows me." Lan Wangji says "I still am." Coming from Lan Wangji, who NEVER says how he feels about Wei Wuxian or about anything, really, this sounds a lot like a confession of love.

It definitely takes the form, visually, of a love confession, as Lan Wangji speaks, then gazes at Wei Wuxian while he waits for a reply. Wei Wuxian's reply is this:

I don't think Wei Wuxian is oblivious (I'm speaking strictly of CQL, not MZDS, as always with these posts; they are different works). I think he loves Lan Wangji back, and knows it. But Chenqing and everything it represents are between them.

Lan Wangji is quite literally NOT his zhījǐ any more, because he doesn't truly know Wei Wuxian right now. He loves him desperately, but he doesn't know about his core, and hasn't accepted his cultivation method. So Wei Wuxian answers his confession by showing him Chenqing, effectively declining to accept his still-conditional love.

Snake Measuring

Next we get terrible hetero courtship in the form of Jin Zixuan finding snake discharge on the ground and talking to Jiang Yanli about comparative snake measuring. Seriously: that is the actual conversation that they are having.

Jin Zixuan boasts for a bit, and then awkwardly tries to ask Jiang Yanli on a date. When she turns him down he gets mad, because he's a typical heterosexual dude even though he's secretly a delightful person...very, very secretly. Jiang Yanli, for her part, can't string a fucking sentence together to save her life whenever he's around, so she's not helping their mutual understanding.

Lan Wangji attempts to hold Wei Wuxian back from beating Jin Zixuan’s ass yet again, but eventually JYL wants to leave, JZX tells her to wait, and WWX intervenes. Why doesn't Jiang Yanli have a maid or Jiang cultivator with her while she's on a date, incidentally? These kids are confused about whether they're doing feudal patriarchy or whether they're doing modern social life.

Jin vs. Jiang

Wei Wuxian jumps in between Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, which JZX objects to. Jin Zixuan has no fucking business objecting and Wei Wuxian is 100% right, at this point. As soon as WWX shows up JZX should hand her off to her Shidi, bow, and leave her the fuck alone. Instead, he draws his sword on Wei Wuxian, and kind of on Jiang Yanli since she's right behind Wei Wuxian. Fortunately, Lan Wangji blocks him.

This instantly blows up into a Jiang-Jin Clan conflict, with Jiang Cheng unfortunately absent since he let his unmarried sister go off in the woods alone with the son of the Cultivaton world's most famous lecher. It looks like it’s a personal conflict, but since Jin Zixuan already told Wei Wuxian directly that Jin Guangshan wants his amulet, any arguments between them are part of a larger power struggle.

Cousin Jin Zixun comes running up to start shit. Wei Wuxian pretends--I am SURE he's pretending--not to know who he is. The dude hassles Wei Wuxian every time he sees him; Wei Wuxian is a troll, and right now CJXZ is butting in to something that doesn't concern him. Rather than argue, Wei Wuxian insults him by telling him he’s not memorable.

Jin Furen shows up with several maids and cultivator dudes in tow, which is the proper way for a highborn woman to wander around in the woods. She also brings Clan Leader Yao, because if it's Wei Wuxian Blaming Hours, Yao is going to be there.

I initially found the deep friendship between superhot Yi Zuyuan and dumpy Jin Furen implausible, but then I remembered that my lifelong bestie is a smokin' hot redhead with impeccable fashion sense, while I am a roly-poly nerd. Friends don’t always match. Also, Jin Furen's actress, Hu Xiaoting, looks like this:

...so she is actually hot in real life. Not as hot as Zhang Jingtong (who plays Yu Ziyuan) but literally nobody is as hot as Zhang Jingtong. Don't @ me, you know I'm right.

This is a heck of a long scene, so we’ll pick it up in part two!

Soundtrack: Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

Writing prompt: Newly-divorced, cold-hearted CEO Yu Ziyuan buys an apartment next door to newly-divorced, warm-hearted pastry chef ...uhh let's call her Jin Dàngāo (蛋糕), sure. She can name her business after herself.

They discover their daughter & son are in the same college class, and so they meet up over coffee....several times...trying to matchmake their hopeless, hapless kids, while bonding over their own terrible (former) taste in husbands. Who will Cupid strike first, the kids or the moms?

#the untamed #the untamed gifs #wangxian #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs

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hiphop-rap-and-basketball · 3 years ago

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Hello loves ❤️

During the past 2 weeks my life went from feeling like I was on cloud 9 to being brought down to the depths again.

TW: sensitive content discussed, just know, you don’t! have! to! read this! don’t feel forced to, just wanted to rant about things that have been happening for me and if you were curious, feel free to read.

I was getting creepy super harassing Instagram DM’s who I had suspicions of knowing who it was I was but the cop I talked to said the police department couldn’t look into it. He said they would have to be threatening, even tho they were super perverted and I won’t go into detail but they were grotesque as fuck. I’m so hurt because I feel like that’s bs and you can track anyone online.. I’m worried because I have reasonable suspicion on who it is but the cop basically said it would have needed to be actual threats for them to make a case. Basically down playing tf out of it honestly. The person who I am thinking it most likely is creeped on me (just know I wasn’t physically hurt but mentally was scarred for a long time) years ago when I was underage and my mother chose to forgive him and have him around again… when she absolutely did not have to. No financial ties, he was straight out of prison. I don’t want to go into that because this blog is my happy space and they don’t deserve attention from me in anyway but just know I’m basically on the lookout for myself. Like the fact that she didn’t have the urge to m****r him but rather took him back will forever be beyond me. This current situation brought back trauma I’ve been trying to get over for years. That shit is triggering. Makes me worried that all this time I went to visit my mom, he was watching me in the most disgusting ways. She still treats him like a significant other… unfortunately he’s my younger sisters father. Who she chose to have after everything first happened. Don’t get me wrong I love my younger sister to death, she obviously doesn’t understand yet because she’s only 5. He’s not my biological father, not related to me in anyway. Just a big fat creep that needs to be locked up again.

Life lesson: I wish I would’ve spoke up about his creeping ass when I was under age when it happened and he could’ve been locked up again. I was so scared, I’m truly angry that my mom even chose to forgive him and that’s why I have such a hard relationship with her. Don’t fuck with ex-felons. If your kids are at risk because of a of a person in your own home, kick them to the mother fucking curb bro, it’s not that hard. Protect your own, seriously. God forbid I ever put a creeper before my own future kids bro, like what the fuck. I have so much anger but I’m trying to work through it and let go for the sake of my peace. I don’t like to stress out. Just know, I wouldn’t go any longer than a week without posting on my blog UNLESS I told you guys I was going to take some type of break. No one I know personally knows about this blog so it’s pretty much where I post the most as a safe space.

This is why we need to protect Black Women, Trans women, Latina women, because shit like this. As a Latina I never feel like I was looked out for ever since I was in school, life overall and… now this again. I walked out of the department with a horrible taste in my mouth because I just was not surprised by his answer and the simple fact that he basically just said “call us if anything happens to you physically…”

Because it SHOULD! NOT! HAVE! TO! GET! TO! THAT ! POINT! IF WE ARE FEELING UNSAFE, DO SOMETHING! Aren’t police suppose to serve and protect? Yeah anyway….

The other thing that happened all within the same 48 hours…

I live with my now (ex?) significant other, I don’t know what to call him at this point lol…. and found out I was getting cheating on. I felt sick to my stomach. It was the middle of the night and he was asleep and decided to finally look through his phone again. After months of telling myself I would put my trust in him again, I looked. And my trust is broken completely now. I’m heartbroken and sick but so much stronger than I was 6 months ago. I have the power in me to let go. With the help from realizing what I’m capable of, I know there’s better out there for me. If I’m capable of writing a beautiful fictional love story I can create one of my own in real life. It feels like it’ll be a long time before I love again. My heart hurts because I love him so much and I wanted things to work, but it just wasn’t healthy anymore. He apologized again the other night for his past mistakes and I was expecting that…. It’s fucked up because I knew once I would be the one to break things off, he would try to apologize and act sorry for everything he did wrong, he admitted to every fault on how he could have been a better boyfriend except he did not confess to his most recent infidelities, and for that I know I lost my faith in him. He still doesn’t know that I know, we’re working to be civil since we pay bills together… we’re two grown adults and although i just want to scream and cry and go off on him, I’m so scared to tell him I snooped again. But the fact that I found something gives me all the more reason to confront him. I’m so anxious and sad about it all. I loved him so much and wanted things to work again but I’m just so so angry.

Life lesson: the truth is, if you chose to forgive your partner for crossing boundaries and being unfaithful and move forward in your relationship together, you’re insecurities will always be there. No matter how many days go by, I feel like you’re going to live with that fear in your head of getting cheated on again and nobody deserves that. I’m breaking the generational pattern and working through trying to be selfish and do what’s best for me. For my peace of mind. For myself. For my future self, all the above. It sucks when you want it to work so bad with a person but they don’t realize your worth and all you try to see in them is the good. It’s like even when your friends tell you you deserve the best, it’s hard to realize it yourself sometimes. Maybe some are different but cheating is one of the things that I really don’t think I could forgive and forget. When trust is broken, what’s left? And what else would they be willing to lie to you about? I spent months upon months begging for BARE MINIMUM. That shit is embarassing dude. NEVER EVER beg a man to take you on dates and compliment you and make you feel loved. You should not have to beg at all. It should not have taken me to break up with him to realize he needed to change his behavior. I'm just filled with so much anger.

Imagine being a 22 year old male throwing away an almost 4 year relationship for a 17 year old…. Could not be me.

But, I’m pushing through. I’m still getting both situations solved and I really am just genuinely hurt. Both have such a long backstory but that’s pretty much the jist of it. This account has been my escape and I really just have fun with it at the end of the day, I’m not leaving I just needed a moment because I haven’t been able to put the time into writing like I want to. I now need to figure out my living situation, how I’m going to cope and just trying to get my relationship with God right again. I’m grateful for you guys and your kind words I truly felt like I had no one for a moment. If you read all of this, thank you. I appreciate you. I hope you can learn from these things in some way. Writing has been such a good escape for me but with things coming to the surface, I am struggling to bring myself to write and I hope you understand now why. I'm not giving up, just needing to just come to peace with things. I tend to make jokes to make myself laugh off the pain so with that I wonder if my writing will improve after all of this lmaooo, anyway, thank you all for giving me the time I need, for now, nothing is ready to be posted but I will let you know when it is. I am grateful and excited to bring smiles to everyones faces when you read my work. And even after all the bullshit, I really do love to use spread positivity overall and that's what I feel called upon to do so during my time on this earth :)

#thank you #personal post

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blouisparadise · 4 years ago

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Here is a list of amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of January. Between the third month of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest and all the other fics that authors posted throughout the month, it’s clear that this was a great way to start off the year of bottom Louis fics! Happy reading!

1) Leave It All Here In This Bed | Explicit | 1071 words

One of Louis’s many sleepless nights.

2) Games Are Only Fun If You Win | Explicit | 1554 words

Louis and Harry have a bet. If Louis wins that means he's off laundry duty. If he loses well.

Let's just say Harry won't be complaining.

3) If It Makes You Feel Alive | Explicit | 1691 words

Louis is horny one night on the tour bus so he and Harry fuck while trying not to get caught by the others.

4) Beg Me Silently | Explicit | 2140 words

“So, your boyfriend…is he planning a magic night for you at home?”

Louis snorts. “He’s not, actually. He’s pretty hardworking, you see, so he comes home late.”

“Such a shame.” Harry walks towards Louis, so close that they’re sharing the same space. “You’re so beautiful, Louis. If you were mine, I wouldn’t make you wait for me.”

5) Birthday Wishes | Explicit | 2895 words

Note: This is part 3 of this series.

The one where Harry takes Louis to dinner for his birthday, and gifts him with a vibrating butt plug he wears to the restaurant. Fluffy birthday sex follows.

6) New Year, New Beginnings | Explicit | 3577 words

Note: This is part 4 of this series.

The one where Louis and Harry unexpectedly end up at the same New Year's party. Louis makes Harry jealous, and Harry shows him just how bad of an idea that is.

7) Heaven In These Sheets | Explicit | 3557 words

Bunny Hybrid Louis has it out for his boyfriend’s phone.

8) Pits Of Love | Explicit | 3934 words

Harry smells Louis' sweat for the first time after they've moved in together. His alpha goes a bit wild.

9) First Blow Hits You Cold | Explicit | 3986 words

Louis wears a shirt with a big ass H on it for his livestream, and Harry really, really likes it.

10) Close Your Eyes And Surrender To Me | Explicit | 4209 words

Note: This is the sequel to this fic.

Harry hummed and pressed his lips to Louis’ forehead. “I am very stressed, but I also know you’re stressed and tired too.” He glanced to Louis’ face seeing the confirming nod. “But, if you’re sure you’re up for it.” Harry smirked, waiting for Louis to say it was okay before he laid the boy down on the bed and hovered over him. “I really love this color on you. You look so pretty. Always do.” He spoke quietly, rubbing his hands over Louis’ soft thighs and moving them to his tummy. He then moved his hands up to Louis’ hair. It had been a while since Louis’ last haircut and it was now long enough that he could tie it up in little ponytails and even little braids. Louis currently had two hair clips in his hair. One was gold with little stars on it and the other gold with a moon. “I love your hair princess. Do you feel pretty?” He asked.

11) P Is For | Explicit | 4349 words

Note: The pairing for this fic is Louis/Pedro Pascal.

Louis and Pedro, winter in New York, a coffee machine, and bilingualism.

12) Pull Out Your Heart | Explicit | 5028 words

He wants to apologise, the five letters sit on the tip of his tongue but he does not. It means nothing to either of them.

13) Loving You's the Antidote | Explicit | 5070 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 302: Alpha Harry & Omega Louis are divorced but still spend each other’s heat/rut together because they only really trust each other but things get complicated when Louis (or Harry, author’s choice) spend it with someone else. Cue angst with a happy ending.

14) Sweet Talk With A Hint Of Sin | Explicit | 5095 words

“What the hell are you wearing?” Harry had the nerve to ask, and Louis bristled slightly.

“Well, what the bloody fuck does it look like?” Louis snapped, breaking his seductive demeanor momentarily because he was wearing this ridiculous get-up for Harry. He had thought that this would go over well.

And now that the moment was here, it was going anything but.

Harry’s brain seemingly malfunctioned, completely unbothered by the fact that he was now standing in an actual pool of red wine, or that there might even be broken glass directly next to his feet. He was focused solely on his boy splayed out on their bed. “Are those ears?”

“Yes,” Louis mumbled, reaching up to finger the burnt orange fur of the fox ears. “And a tail,” he said, shifting to lay on his stomach so that his perky ass was on display, showing the way his lube slicked hole had been prepped and was now hugging the impressively sized plug attached to the fox tail.

15) New York's Beauty | Mature | 5274 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 104: AU where Harry is an alpha wolf and Louis is a hybrid kitten. They were roommates. While they were arguing about something stupid, Harry wanted to bend Louis over the kitchen table and knot him right there. He slowly accepted his feelings and extreme desire for Louis, so he started to tease the hybrid until he would beg Harry to fuck him. They fall in love.

Louis needs to feel comfortable with the camera so harry fucks him until he is blushing and calm and gentle.

16) I Went Astray To Make It Okay And He Made It Easy | Not Rated | 5537 words

Note: This is a sequel to #17 on this list.

Harry makes sure to put on his blue truckers hat that has 'if you ain't a fisherman, you ain't shit' printed on it to hold back his hair out of his eyes. He remembers when he came home after buying it and Louis went on for days about much he looked like such a Dad. He made sure to fuck him hard that night and show him that he's a fucking DILF not just a Dad.

17) You Make My Heart Beat Like The Rain | Explicit | 6611 words

Note: This is the prequel to #16 on this list.

"You're stunning, eh?" Harry whispers, his Canadian accent thick with lust. It usually slips out when he gets horny because he knows it turns Louis on. Harry presses his lips into the curve of his neck. His hot breath makes Louis shiver. He opens his eyes and sees Harry's bigger, tattooed arms wrapped around him, completely engulfing his smaller frame—and, fuck, maybe he is up for it.

Why does his boyfriend have to be such a fucking DILF? He blames it on a twitter thread he read a few weeks ago.

18) Baby, Let Me Love You Goodbye | Explicit | 6837 words

Harry and Louis are going through a divorce after being together for 10 years, so Louis comes over to collect his things, and, well…what’s a little goodbye sex, just one last time?

19) A Place To Call Home | Mature | 8113 words

The thing is, he’s pretty sure he’s found home in a person in his life, someone who’s been essential in everything he’s done since he was seven years old. Through every broken bone, through every breakup, through every failure; through every triumph, personal and professional, and every goal he has scored in his time in Man U, there’s been someone there for it all.

That’s his best mate. Harry. A twenty-two year old with the kindest heart known to man, a slow drawl that is entirely too endearing, with the dreams to open up his own flower shop. A quiet and earnest boy with those he doesn’t know, and open and honest and absolutely lovely with those he loves.

It all hits him, really, the night of their final game of the Premier League. Again, timing is not his forté. They’re gearing up, ready to hit the field for the second half against Liverpool that determines their ranking in the League, when his brain decides to come online (after seventeen years, apparently), and conveniently supply him with the revelation that oh yeah, you’re kind of in love with your best friend.

20) To Love Without Reason | Explicit | 8854 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“Come on in, soldier,” Louis pats Harry’s chest and walks away, leaving Harry to follow behind.

Harry stands in the living room, looking around at Louis’ dwelling. Family pictures placed high on a shelf, certificates of Louis’ practice, and other trinkets that make Harry entirely too nostalgic.

“I have to warn you,” Louis says as he puts the kettle on, the water droplets from his hair trickling down the golden skin of his back. “The door jams if you lock it so you'll have to leave it ajar.”

Harry acknowledges with a soft hum, too entranced by Louis’ glistening skin to form a coherent reply.

21) It's A Game We Play In The Sheets | Explicit | 9426 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“Louis is… He’s a boy I’ve been talking to.” He bit his lip, grin evident. “After I watched one of his videos during a Harry Reacts a few weeks ago I messaged him and…”

His sentence was cut short by the sound of a timid little “Hi” being whispered into his ears.

Harry closed his eyes for a second, pausing to take in the online presence of the real-life fairy, before he opened them and smiled. “Hey Lou. Ready to play with me?”

22) One Track Mind | Explicit | 9911 words

“You have a lot of friends, huh?”

Harry nods again. “A few.” The muscles of his bicep flex under Louis’ touch, and the alpha looks a bit drunk from the feeling, his eyes blinking slower and lips quirking at the corners. He’s leaning in, his alpha scent surrounding Louis from all sides.

“Mm,” Louis hums, squeezing his fingers tight, just to hear the sharp way Harry inhales. Then, when Harry is least expecting it, Louis returns the earlier sentiment—leaning up on his tiptoes and pressing his weight into Harry for balance, drawing his lips up close to Harry’s ear, and whispering, “Why don’t you go tell them goodnight.”

23) See You When I Get Home | Explicit | 10308 words

"What are you thinking about?" He repeats Louis' question from earlier.

"You." Louis' reply comes out in a moan. It shocks Harry, and his brain scrambles for the right thing to do, the right thing to say. He doesn't even know how to feel, or if he even heard Louis correctly.

"Me?"

24) Floating | Explicit | 10435 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

The one where Louis has control over water in every form but he doesn't know what to do with it. Harry is here to guide him.

25) I'm At Your Mercy Now (And I'm Ready To Begin) | Teen & Up | 10552 words

Where Louis' soulmark was leaked, Harry keeps his private. They're both famous popstars. Louis is waiting for his soulmate, Harry has a feeling it's him but Louis is completely oblivious.

26) You And I 'Till The Day We Die | Explicit | 10807 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 124: A fic inspired by Groupie Love by Lana Del Rey, where Harry is a Rockstar and Louis is his cute little boyfriend who tries to hide himself in the middle of the crowd. (Preferably set in the 80s)

27) Moonlit Sky Over Gentle Waters | Explicit | 11377 words

Harry left his hometown to sail the seven seas and returns seven years later, yearning for something — or rather, someone — that he isn't sure he can have.

28) Late Night Devil Put Your Hands On Me (And Never, Never, Ever Let Go) | Explicit | 11524 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Harry is a demon that feeds off of people’s nightmares. He finds his next meal in Louis’ dreams where he changes and molds them to become scary nightmares. Soon harry learns Louis is a lucid dreamer- he can act on his own in his dreams. They interact in the real world and have sex in the dream world. when the demon catches feelings for louis, he wants to live.

29) If You're Feeling Lonely | Explicit | 12807 words

The guest list is on the desk. Louis runs through it and stops a third of the way down, a familiar name catching his attention.

Harry Styles.

All he needs to do is confirm whether Harry Styles is the same Alpha whose scent left such a memorable impression on his body.

30) Want You To Play With Me | Explicit | 14335 words

"I'm quite not finished with you yet." Harry whispered right on the shell of his ears and squeezed the girth of his cock, making Louis shudder a sloppy puff of air as the tickling sensation ran through his spine, Harry was intoxicating. "Let me play with you a little more, Lou. I promise I'll give you what you want. Be my good boy, hm?" He slowly annunciated every word and licked a warm line on the nape of Louis' neck — Louis curled in his arms at that. Submitting himself a little bit more.

"Always wanna be your good boy." Louis whispered back and enveloped Harry's hand in his.

31) No Good Unless It's Real | Explicit | 17021 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a very busy farmer who’s just trying to make it to his next nap and Harry’s the new hot vet that’s determined to infiltrate every area of his life.

32) Tennis Court | Explicit | 18285 words

Louis and Harry are co-workers and Louis is sure Harry hates him because he always refuses to help him with his heats.

33) Joker Is Wild | Explicit | 18444 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 390: A reality show AU where Louis, Harry, Liam, Zayn and Niall are selected to stay at confined in a luxury mansion for 1 month, where they are required to have explicit, graphic sex at all times, like a porn Big Brother kind of show. Every week there are several different sexual tasks and trials that they must overcome together, which all ends in orgasms for all of them. When the boys all discover Louis is strictly a bottom, and a slutty one at that, they all can’t wait to get their hands on him. Bonus if other hot celebs are there too, like Shawn Mendes, for example. Includes lots of hard gay sex, rimming, blowjobs, gang bangs, ass worshipping (Louis ass, of course) and double penetration.

34) Baby, Let Me Love You Goodbye | Not Rated | 20249 words

Louis almost calls Harry daddy. Cue denial, feelings, and way too much dirty talk.

35) Give So Much (Not Enough) | Mature | 24610 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“For my little lion,” Louis slid the smoothie bowl in front of Oscar, letting him dig in with his little hands. “And for daddy.”

He didn’t process the bowl in front of him, the push across the table causing a raspberry to roll off and fall on his lap, because Louis calling himself mummy may make him feel all sorts of mushy emotions, but Louis addressing Harry as daddy was suddenly having a very different effect on him. Since when did Louis saying daddy out loud render him speechless?

“Daddy’s still sleepy, but we’re up bright and early right Ossie?” Louis’ cooing shook him out of his daze. The man coughed, picking the raspberry off his lap and swallowing it with unintentional, and very unnecessary, eye contact with Louis. “Well, is it better than your protein smoothies and why?”

Harry chuckled, spooning another heap of the strawberry banana goodness into his mouth, “Way better sweetheart.”

A friends to lovers au with tons of mama Louis and domesticity.

36) Short And Sweet | Explicit | 29658 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a shy university student in a world scarce of male omegas. He's always dreamt of having an alpha despite his sheltered upbringing, fantasizing about being loved and cared for. He's immediately smitten by the mysterious alpha with curly hair, broad shoulders, and the addictive coffee scent.

37) Under Thorn And Bramble | Explicit | 31931 words

Note: The pairing of this fic is Louis/OMC. This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 445: A historical AU where Louis is working as a servant on a farm. The family that owns the farm is exceedingly cruel to him and he is often exhausted and in pain from his work. A mysterious stranger boards at the farm and is very intrigued by Louis, but Louis doubts his interest in genuine. Any pairing fine.

38) Pink In The Night | Explicit | 32324 words

His finger was tapping on Louis’ chat before Harry could even think about it, eyes reading over the last text he’d sent Louis. I miss you. Do you miss me?

Harry had felt so pathetic that December night, alone in the dark room of the Japanese apartment he’d been staying at, the strong smell of alcohol clinging to his clothes.

Louis hadn’t replied, but Harry wasn’t surprised; he had texted Louis a few times before while he’d been away, but there had never been a response.

It pained him to admit that this was their new normal.

39) Coeur De Pirate | Explicit | 34207 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

He tilts his chin up as the Captain strides across the deck, his footfalls falling loudly against the planks. The crew watches them from afar.

Stepping into his space, the Captain wraps an arm around Louis’ waist and pulls him in. He lowers his head to breathe his words against Louis’ cheeks. “I won,” he whispers, “I’ve come to claim my prize.”

40) If The Sun Don't Shine | Explicit | 36330 words

In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.

41) The Pirate And The Piper | Explicit | 38396 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

The one where Harry is Hook, Louis is Pan, and nothing is what it seems.

42) Begged And Borrowed Time | Mature | 40198 words

Prompt 60: Time travel AU where Louis somehow gets thrown back in time and ends up in the dark ages, during the reign of the Styles family.

43) I Ain’t Gonna Fence You In | Mature | 40645 words

Louis Tomlinson is a 18 year old city boy who is forced to spend his summer before his senior year at his aunts farm. There, he meets Harry, a 19 year old country boy his aunt hired to help around the farm.

Maybe the farm isn't the worst place to fall in love?

44) Don't Want No Other Shade Of Blue | Explicit | 43285 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 339: it was foretold that Alpha Prince Harry would be mated to a beautiful male omega with eyes that could rival the stone amethyst, but Omega Prince Louis refuses to believe it.

45) No Easy Choice, But You’re Mine | Explicit | 44963 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is an omega hitman with one last job that goes a little sideways. Harry is the alpha bartender that looks a little too closely and cares a little too much.

46) Sedative Duty | Explicit | 46588 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Pop-star of the moment Louis Tomlinson is on his third-world tour. He decides to hire renowned professional dominant Harry Styles to unwind while on the road. In an effort not to raise suspicion by the crew, fans, and press, Harry pretends to be his bodyguard. He ends up being far more than that.

47) Just Always Be Waiting for Me | Explicit | 46837words

Note: Please be sure to check tags for any trigger warnings.

Harry Styles is a librarian at a private school who is not very devoted to his job but is very devoted to Louis Tomlinson, the resident English teacher, and has been ever since they met six years ago beneath a lonely streetlight.

Louis Tomlinson is a self confessed bookworm whose passion for Peter Pan, the literary classics and Harry Styles' happiness knows no bounds. He's self sacrificing, somewhat self loathing and haunted by a trauma he can't talk about.

Mutual pining abounds in this fic where a Peter Pan quote is never just a Peter Pan quote, caretaking is a love language and a platonic nude is never actually platonic. Louis has a kiss that belongs to Harry but he also has a painful past that might end up hurting them both.

48) Since The Future | Explicit | 48947 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

"It's done."

The words were barely above a whisper when they left Harry's mouth, but they hit Louis with the force of a freight train. It was done. Holy fuck. They had created a time machine. And tomorrow, they were travelling to the future.

49) Dirty Laundry Looks Good On You | Explicit | 50581 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

When Louis Tomlinson finds his clothes lying in a sad soapy mess on top of the washing machine in which they are supposed to be, he acts upon his anger and retaliates. What he doesn’t expect is having to deal with a six-feet tall, curly-haired and dimpled man in return, who seems to arouse confusing feelings within him and to make his life take an unexpected turn for the better (or worse?).

50) Hamartia | Explicit | 66970 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Six years is a long time for Louis to mend his heart back and erase every lingering, stubborn memory of his ex-lover, Harry Styles. But when news of the war being over spreads across the world like wildfire, and he stumbles upon the alpha he vowed himself to never see ever again, he realises that not even a lifetime will be enough for him to pick up the scattered, broken parts of his soul. He's far from expecting the alpha he loved to be struggling in the same way.

All the ointments in the world might never soothe the pain out, but it doesn't take long for them both to come to the conclusion that, maybe, the only medicine to their heartbreaks are what caused them in the first place.

51) Feeling Borrowed, Always Blue | Explicit | 68214 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis has been dreaming of his wedding since he was young - he just never expected it to happen like this. words

52) Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) | Explicit | 73825 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day.

53) Rogue | Not Rated | 94992 words

Louis is a rogue Omega who's suffered through rejection and abuse for the biggest part of his life. He stumbles onto the Styles pack, quite possibly the kindness one he's ever met.

54) Chandeliers And Fake Smiles | Mature | 145010 words

On the brink of winning their first Grammy; up-and-coming rock band One Direction find themselves in the midst of the biggest scandal of their career - right before tickets for their world tour go on sale. in order to save their reputation, Louis Tomlinson must find it in his heart to forgive pop singer and heartthrob Harry Styles after his first impression rubbed him entirely the wrong way. after all, they cannot sell a relationship if it looks like they hate each other.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

#bottom louis #top harry #blp fic recs #monthly fic recs #fic recs #larry

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

Text

heartbreaker

warnings: angst, swearing, drinking, and smut OK WOW

summary: never have i ever with your ex and current boyfriends is an interesting experience

a/n: excuse me for taking such a long ass time on this but super big shoutout to whoever requested it for being patient <3 i’ve been trying to write what y’all would actually be interested in so don’t be shy tell me what you want to read!! also italics are flashbacks and as always i hope everyone enjoys hehe

“never have i ever...” harry purses his lips and looks around at your table, “cheated on schoolwork. successfully.” everyone easily takes a sip of their beers, except harrison. you snort and tilt your bottle to where he’s sitting across from you.

“haz, how are you the only one?” “because this div used to copy all my shit in year eleven, and i’d be the one to get in trouble for it.” he elbows tom’s side, tom nudging him back. “should’ve turned yours in first, bro.” rolling his eyes, harrison bends the rules of the game by sipping his drink.

their silly bickering makes you realize how much you’ve missed hanging out with the boys like this. it makes you realize you how much you’ve missed the boys in general. the last time you even saw tom, really saw him, was for a catch up lunch. you had to rush it because he was in between onward press junkets.

before that was the day he left to film cherry, almost a year ago. it’s not at all something you like to remember. dwelling will just set you back, and you’ve come too far to let that happen. as far as one can go when the person they gave their whole heart to breaks it.

now you have luke, and tom has anyone in the world he wants. it’s a new relationship. you’ve only been seeing luke for about three months. you met him while buying some post-breakup ice cream. he randomly started a conversation with you on the line. you bonded over your hatred for chocolate and ended up trading numbers. since you’re slowly getting more serious, you invited luke to the pub tonight.

the meet the friends stage is an important one, and it’s not often that one of your closest would be available for it. tom’s thoughts and opinions still mean a lot to you. you’ll always love him, even if it’s not in the same way you once did. you know he’ll always love you right back. that’s why he did what he did in the first place. that’s what he told you, at least.

you spot luke searching for your table in the pub not too much later. sitting up straighter for him to see you, you wave him over. none of the boys knew that he was coming tonight, so you’re a bit nervous about what they might say. you just hope they’ll like each other as much as you like all of them.

“hey, y/n.” luke leans down and kisses your cheek. you smile up at him, scooting over in the booth to give him room to sit. you’re in between him and tom now. it’s pretty metaphorical if you think about it. “hi. good day?” “yeah, and super busy. i’m luke,” he reaches out his hand for any of the boys. harrison gives him a friendly shake. you haven’t noticed the way tom has been looking at you this whole time.

it’s like he wants to say something, but he’s biting his tongue.

harry shakes luke’s hand, then tom. he uses a firm grip paired with his signature lips pressed together smile. “good to meet you, man. what do you do again?” “i’m in journalism, so mostly chase people around all day.” tom clicks his tongue in a way that sounds like he approves. you’re not exactly sure what’s going through his head at the moment, but it seems to be good things so far.

“he’s just taking the piss. your writing is seriously amazing, luke. don’t downplay it.” you lean into the arm he outstretches across the back of the booth. he lets his hand move to your shoulder and pulls you in closer.

tom stares down at the floor. his leg bounces next to yours, one of his nervous habits you’ve become familiar with. picking up on his brother’s mood change, harry clears his throat to change the subject.

“let’s keep playing never have i ever. we were enjoying that earlier.” “great, i’ll go get everyone another round,” harrison volunteers himself and takes off for the bar. that was obviously his way of escaping the sudden awkwardness that came about.

you tap tom’s foot lightly with your own, making him look up at you. “doing okay over there?” “‘’m fine. my jetlag picked a bad time to act up, is all,” he lamely excuses himself and shifts the tiniest bit away from you.

you’ve seen jetlagged tom plenty of times, and this isn’t him. something else is clearly on his mind. you’d call him out on it and have a heart to heart, but it isn’t your place to do that anymore. you’re both still adjusting to the whole friends thing. it’s going to take time to get back to how close you were, especially with different boundaries in place.

harrison comes back with fresh beers and sets them down on the table. each of you grab one. tom immediately chugs half of his without bothering to wait for the game to continue. you’re not in the mood to watch him act like this, so you turn to face luke. that only encourages him to drink some more. harry is the one who steps in and pulls his bottle away.

“easy there, alcoholland. you gotta save some for when we play.” “right.” tom wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes already glossy. this isn’t how tonight was supposed to go.

“speaking of,” harrison starts, overly cheerful to make up for the way his friend is behaving. “it’s my turn.” “go for it,” you force a smile at him and swish the beer around in your glass. “this’ll definitely be good. never have i ever gone skinny dipping.”

the heat that rises to your cheeks gives you away before you can take a sip. with a shit-eating grin, tom snatches his beer out of harry’s hand. “gonna need this back, baby bro.” you shyly pick up your drink, tom and harrison being the only others who are guilty. harrison clinks his glass with yours, then you’re both gulping down your poison.

luke playfully raises his eyebrows at you when you’re finished. “i’m sorry, y/n, but i have to hear this story. you went skinny dipping?” cockiness absolutely oozing out of him, tom cuts in. “we went together, actually. i can help her tell this one.”

you spare everybody the explicit details of what happened, but it isn’t hard to guess them. tom is thankfully mature enough in the moment to not reveal much. now that luke knows the story, it feels like there’s tension between him and tom. he’s just too nice to let it show.

taking notes from tom, you impulsively finish off the rest of your drink in hopes of clearing your mind. you earn looks of concern from everyone except the man of the hour. he’s enjoying messing with you.

“that was a fun night, huh?” tom smirks at you. you close your eyes and rub your temples. sensing how off everything is, harrison leaves the table again to get you another drink. he sure has a talent for that.

you’re not sure why tom has to be such an ass tonight of all nights. you’ve already told him about you and luke before, actually he was the first person to know. he should’ve expected to meet him at some point. maybe then, his coping mechanism wouldn’t be getting drunk and making both of you look stupid.

“you okay?” luke nudges your shoulder with his hand. you give him a tight lipped smile. “yeah. sorry about all of that.” “no, it’s fine. i’m a big boy.” he glances over at tom, who’s poking harry’s cheek with a spoon. jesus christ.

harrison brings over another beer for you and a water for tom. you take your drink and push tom’s over to him. he decides to be immature and drops the spoon to switch your glasses. drunk tom is a child.

“are you serious right now? you need to learn when to cut yourself off.” you switch them again, taking a sip of your beer before tom can take it from you. he huffs and drinks his water like you said. you’re only doing this because you care about him. he’s probably too gone at the moment to understand that. if he’s going to think you’re a buzzkill for helping him out, oh well.

“so, babe,” luke makes a point to stress the word, “how about you do the next round of the game?” he leans into you again. you still haven’t taken your eyes off of tom.

“sure,” you agree absentmindedly. “um, never have i ever...” tom smiles lazily at you when he notices you’re looking at him. you forgot that drunk tom is also cute, but you’re not supposed to think that way anymore. not about him. you clear your throat. “never have i ever given myself a really bad hairstyle?”

everybody takes a drink this time, tom finishing his water. you’ve styled your hair in so many awful ways so many times, but only one comes to mind. it’s technically tom’s fault.

“come on, y/n/n, let me do it. i’ll even say please. please?” tom all but begs you for the third time. you look up at him from your phone to see him making puppy eyes at you. saying no to those is physically impossible.

you’ve been on hold with your hair salon for almost half an hour trying to make an appointment. they’re normally never this busy, but you really need to go. a person can only let their ends become so split.

for some reason, tom decided he wants to be a hairdresser today. he keeps offering to cut your hair for you instead. you’re not so sure you trust him with scissors, but he won’t stop asking about it unless you let him try. plus, this could be interesting.

you end the call with a sigh. perking up, tom grabs your hands. “so? that’s a yes?” “don’t make me regret this, tom.” he pulls you off the couch by your hands and leads you straight to the bathroom.

“should we wash it first? i think that’s what they do.” he turns on the sink, then goes into the shower to get your hair products. you lean back against the counter and watch him set up. you’re starting to feel kind of nervous about this. tom is usually good at everything he attempts, but something as permanent as a haircut, you’re not sure about.

“relax a bit, darling. you’ll be fine.” tom ruffles your hair with his fingers, making you crinkle your nose. “if it looks bad, no i won’t.” “it’s just hair.” he gets a towel off the rack and drapes it around your shoulders. you look at your hair in the mirror one more time, then lean back so your head is under the faucet. “you’re the one who uses a bottle of hair gel every day.”

“anyways,” you can hear the eye roll in tom’s voice. “let me know if the water’s too hot or too cold.” “nah, it’s good.” he opens your shampoo and squirts some into his hand. “see, i know what i’m doing.” you hum in response, tom’s fingers combing through your hair to make sure it’s wet enough.

you lift your head up from the water so tom can do the shampoo. it feels good, like you’re getting a massage but on your scalp. tom notices your small smile as he eases you down to rinse it out. “enjoying yourself?” you open an eye to see a smug look on his face. “for now, yeah.”

after all the shampoo is gone, tom starts with conditioner. he pulls all your hair to one side and runs through it with a brush a few times. you’re honestly impressed he knows what he’s doing. he must have learned from watching you do your own hair. he puts in the conditioner and twirls a loose strand of hair around his finger, letting it sit for a bit.

“i’ll admit it, you’re actually good at this,” you reach up and poke at his chest. tom pokes your cheek back, then gathers all of your hair again. “mm, thanks. you should let me do your hair for you more often.” “that’ll depend on if you can cut it.” with a chuckle, he lets the ends of your hair fall under the water again.

your hair all washed, tom helps you stand back up. he takes the towel from over your shoulders and uses it to scrunch your hair up. it falls over your face. you know he’s trying to do it so it stays in place, but that’s not what’s happening.

“i’ll do this part, babe,” you laugh to yourself and flip your head over. “pfft, yeah, i was totally gonna try that next,” tom jokes, searching through a drawer for scissors while you wrap your hair. he opens and closes them before dropping them on the counter.

“wanna sit? i don’t know how long this’ll take.” “oh, god. sure.” tom easily lifts you up by your waist and sits you on the counter. you giggle a little at the gesture. he’s full of surprises today. “there you are, m’lady. let’s get started.” he takes the towel off your head and squeezes your hair out with it one more time. pouting, you grab a few strands. “i’ll miss you guys so much.”

”stop it, i’m not even cutting that much off,” tom groans and stands in between your legs. you put your hands on his shoulders. “that’s the plan, but knowing you, you’ll end up giving me, like, a mohawk.” “you think i know how to do that?” your legs wrap around his waist, scooting yourself closer to the edge of the counter. “i hope not.”

tom wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a wicked smile. you probably should’ve asked him to section off your hair so he could cut it evenly, but it slipped your mind. he splits your hair in half the best he can and picks up the scissors. you’re facing him, so you can’t see what he’s about to do in the mirror.

“i’m gonna count to three, okay? one, two, three.” tom takes half of your hair and starts cutting it in a straight line, which is already a problem. it ends up creating this weird zigzag look that can’t be saved by just him. he realizes his mistake after he’s already holding your hair. “oh, shit..” he puts down the scissors and covers his mouth with his free hand. your eyes go wide. “what? what did you do?”

“i- i, um, we can fix it,” he tries, backing away before you freak out. you hop off the counter and turn around to see what happened. it’s long in the back and too short in the front. how did he mess up this bad in not even two minutes? you gasp and touch your disaster of a haircut.

“tom, what is this? it looks... i don’t even know what to say!” you spin back around, pointing at your half cut hair. he winces when he sees it again. “i’m so sorry, y/n/n. i thought-“ “no, you didn’t! you thought nothing! your mind literally must have been empty.” you sit on the floor with your head in your hands, tom crouching down in front of you.

“look at me, darling.” he puts a hand on your back. you scowl up at him. “it’s really not that bad. you’ll figure out a way to make this work.” “you’re so helpful,” you mumble, leaning your head forward so it’s resting on his chest. you’re being dramatic. he was trying to do something nice for you, and it’s not like this was on purpose. tom rubs circles on your back, you nuzzling your cheek into his shirt.

“should i leave the other side, or would that be worse?” “i can do it for you.” “absolutely not.”

“i could only wear my hair up for months because of you,” you laugh to tom, warming up to him again from the memory. he puffs some air out of his cheeks with a smile. “be happy you didn’t ask for bangs.” “that’s because i’d never be able to pull them off.” tom messes with your hair so it’s over your eyes, you pushing his hands away with a breathy laugh. “not true.”

luke shifts in his spot next to you to remind you he still exists. you glance over at him and move your hair out of your face. “um, what was yours?” “i dyed my hair orange once. ginger definitely isn’t my look,” he jokes. it seems like he’s just trying to compete with tom now. you muster up a small chuckle for him anyway.

“tom, you haven’t gone yet,” harry points out, picking up his glass. tom considers the fact for a second. “true, but it’s not much fun if i don’t get to drink. can i get another since i’m behaving?” he juts his bottom lip out at his brother. harrison lets out a long sigh. “mate, i really don’t feel like getting up again. take a break.”

you slide your beer over to tom without a second thought. “you can share mine.” he looks at you like you said something wild. “are you sure we should do that?” he’s clearly referring to luke and how he might take it. at this point, it doesn’t matter to you. luke has been acting off since you started playing, and you’re not going to let him ruin your time with your friends.

you shrug your shoulders and tap the glass. “i’m the one who suggested it. drink up.” he hesitates, but takes it.

“ok, never have i ever gotten kicked out of somewhere.” harrison shakes his head and harry rests his chin in his hand, bummed he can’t drink. luke raises his hands up in surrender. that leaves you and tom. you know exactly what he’s thinking about right now. he takes a sip of your beer and hands it back to you, you finishing off the rest of it.

tom brought you to a super fancy restaurant for date night. it’s one of those places that has their own dress code and mood lighting. here you are, sat across from him in your most uncomfortable pair of heels and picking at course three of your meal; a bland salad. tom isn’t thrilled with it either, so you don’t feel too bad.

you rarely get the chance to go out for dinners like this because of tom’s ever-growing schedule, so you’re giving this place a try to make up for it.

“i wanna ask if they have dressing, but i’m scared i’ll get yelled at,” you murmur to tom, stabbing a piece of lettuce with your fork. he bites his cheek. your look of disgust makes a giggle slip out of him. “try holding your breath so you don’t taste it,” tom suggests, fiddling with a button on his jacket to stall from eating.

you take a big gulp of water in hopes of cleansing your tastebuds. tom looks at you from over his cup, doing the same. it’s so hard to take this seriously. “i know you wanted to take me somewhere nice, baby, but this kinda sucks.” you whisper the last part. “you’re right. i’ve heard great things about their dessert, though.”

“we’d find out if they didn’t take five years to serve us every course,” you laugh a little too loud at your own joke. an older woman with diamonds around her neck shoots you a glare. tom finally cracks, joining in your laughter over the situation. your waiter comes back at that moment, and he’s less than pleased by the behavior from both of you.

“is everything okay over here?” he asks sharply. “we’re, uh, we’re fine. thank you,” tom hides his laugh with a cough and makes an overly serious face. your waiter places a check on the table. “we didn’t ask for this yet,” you tell him politely. “i’ve heard several complaints about you two throughout your meal, so i’m going to have to ask you to leave.” he explains, handing you a pen to sign the check.

tom’s fake serious face is now a real serious face.

“you can’t-“ “let us pay for what we had, and we’ll be on our way.” you take tom’s arm from across the table. he would’ve pulled the ‘do you know who i am?’ card without you stopping him. your waiter walks away and goes to serve someone else.

“i can’t believe they’re kicking us out. this is so unfair,” tom complains, but gets out his wallet. he grabs the pen from you to take care of everything. “to be fair, we were being pretty annoying. we didn’t even like our food,” you try to reason.

tom does his signature and leaves money on the table. he’s going to be sulking about this the rest of the night. you stand up with your arm still linked in his and walk him over to the exit. he squeezes you closer to him on your way to the car.

“that was disappointing,” tom speaks again once you’re in the car. he rests a hand on your thigh. you put yours on top of his. “and funny. the only thing is, i’m still hungry.” “yeah? how about we go for burgers?”

you’re in the mcdonald’s parking lot eating your second dinner not too much later. it’s a lot better than your first. your heels are kicked off, your feet on the dashboard while you and tom eat and listen to your favorite songs.

tom steals one of your fries and shoves it in his mouth, sticking his tongue out at you after. that earns him a flick from you. “you have your own fries, weirdo!” “yours taste better somehow. here, i’ll trade you.” he lifts the bun off his burger so you can have his pickles. he knows you so well.

“can i tell you something?” tom asks all of a sudden. you stop eating and turn down the radio with a nod. “i know this isn’t as cool as fine dining, but i’m happy we get to have these moments together. wish they could last a little longer,” tom admits to you while staring out the window. you bring his hand up to your lips and kiss it.

“i’ve had so much fun tonight, and every night i spend with you. i don’t care about some gross rich people food. the only thing that matters is is being together, okay?” tom grins at your words, then leans forward and presses his lips to yours. it’s a short but sweet kiss. it’s a kiss that says the words he doesn’t have. “love you, y/n. thank you.” “i love you.”

you and tom are doubled over, giggling like kids with your heads bent together. you’re both pretty buzzed from your drink. you try to get yourself together, but he makes eye contact with you and you bust into another fit of laughter. even harry and harrison join in. it’s nice to finally have all of you getting along.

“i think it’s time to head out,” luke announces, moving to get up from the booth. you turn to him and wipe under your eyes. “oh, ok. i’ll text you later?” “you’re not coming?” he sounds more bitter than surprised. “i’m gonna get a ride back with tom when he’s ready to drive. it’s too early for me.”

luke fully sits himself back down and places his almost full glass in front of tom. all the boys are looking at you, but you have no idea what‘s happening. “why’d you do that?” you ask just to him. “i’ve changed my mind. i’m staying for another round of the game.”

you have a bad feeling about whatever he’s going to say. he’s been salty about you and tom all night, as if he didn’t know you’re still friends. it’s not like him at all. not the him you thought you knew, anyway.

“never have i ever,” luke intentionally directs the question at tom, “broken up with the most amazing girl so i could make shitty movies and fuck models. i wonder who’s done that.”

everyone stays silent. you could swear you’ve just been knocked sober. tom gets up from the table without a word, not bothering to wait for harry and harrison to move. he ignores them telling him not to go and steps over them. he’s out the nearest exit of the pub before anyone can stop him. you want to go after him, but you’re stuck in the middle of the booth.

your ‘boyfriend’ put his jealousy before your feelings for the last time tonight.

“what the fuck, luke?”

“are you sure you have everything? you remembered all your stuff from security?” you hold tom’s hand impossibly tighter as you get close to his gate.

he leaves today to film cherry in the states. you’re dropping him off at the airport like you always do, but something feels different about this time. it seems like a more permanent goodbye.

“mhm, it’s all here.” tom squeezes your hand back. you stop walking when you reach the sign that has his gate number on it. this is it. the last time you’ll see him for who knows how long? he stands his suitcase up off to the side and moves so he’s in front of you.

his arms are around your neck now, hugging you so close. you wind your arms around him so there’s no space between you two. he rests his chin on your shoulder, letting out a breath. “gonna miss you so much, baby. fuck, i hate this.” “it’s okay, tom. we’ve done it before. we’ll be okay.” you’re trying to convince yourself and him.

he pulls back from you and holds you by your waist. you stay flush against his chest, grabbing on to his hoodie. you don’t trust yourself to look at him right now.

“y/n, i can’t keep doing this to you,” tom says into your ear, his voice oddly steady for such a big thing to say. “doing what? you mean your job?” your fingers play with his hoodie strings. “i’ll be fine. i always am.” “that’s the thing. i don’t want you to just be fine all the time.” he can’t be saying what you think he is. you shake your head against him.

“you should be happy. it’s not fair that i make you settle for less.” “tom, stop.” you move off of him completely, your throat getting tight. “we’ve already talked about this. you do make me happy, even if it’s from another country sometimes. i don’t care.” he takes your hand again.

“this is something i’ve been thinking about for a while, honestly. it’ll be good for both of us.” “i- what are you trying to say?” tears are already clouding your vision. tom lets go of you. “we need to break up, y/n.”

you can feel your entire heart shatter into millions of tiny little pieces. this isn’t happening. not now. not ever. he’s not leaving you so easy.

you’re crying in the middle of the airport for everyone to see, and tom isn’t too far behind you. “i thought you loved me,” you manage to get out. tom chokes back his tears and wipes yours instead, his thumbs running over your cheeks. “i do, angel. i love you so much that it’s hurting me to say goodbye.” “then why can’t we make it work? please,” you lean into his touch for probably the last time.

“because you deserve more. i’m away all the time, and there are things i can’t give you. you deserve someone who’s here for everything.” tom’s fingers trail down to grab your chin gently, you looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.

“i want more for you, y/n.” “i have you. that’s all i want, tom.” neither of you say anything for a good minute. tom almost gives in, you can see it. you whimper when he grabs the handle of his suitcase instead.

“this is because i love you. i... i need you to understand that.” his voice is soft. you wish he could’ve done this way earlier since he was planning on it. “it’s all happening so fast.” tears are dripping down your cheeks and chin. you want to reach for tom, but there’s no point. his mind is made up. an announcement plays through the airport that tom’s flight is boarding.

“i really don’t wanna leave you like this, but i have to go. i’ll call you after i land, okay?” who are you to stop him now? “o- okay. be safe.” tom presses a kiss to your forehead, letting it linger for a few seconds. he puts his hood up and turns around. you watch him walk to his gate. this is the first time he’s left you without looking back.

you start making your way to the parking lot as soon as he’s gone. it takes everything in you not to scream and sob the whole way back. none of this feels right. if you both still love each other, you should be together.

after the longest walk of your life, you get back to your car. you break down all over again.

“i’m trying to help you, y/n. it seems like you forgot what he put you through,” luke scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. you can’t believe how he’s acting. “let’s talk about this somewhere else. sorry, guys,” you smile awkwardly at harrison and harry. harry waves you off. “it’s okay. we understand.”

luke gets out of the booth, you following behind and leading him over to an empty corner in the pub. your smile fades. “that was fucked up, luke. we didn’t end things for his career. you know that.” “not officially, but it definitely helped.” does he not realize how crappy that sounds? like you were holding him back?

“you’re wrong. i told you exactly what happened. everything you’re saying is some weird story you made up in your head.” “then he should’ve said that for himself.” you throw your hands up in the air. “you made him fucking uncomfortable! i would’ve left, too.” luke laughs bitterly. “he’s really good at that, you know. leaving.”

“he did it because he loves me. fuck you for joking about it, like it wasn’t something that took me a really long time to get over. it’s sad that my past makes you jealous.” there’s a beat of silence before luke says anything. “do you still love him, y/n?” you both already know the answer. “well?” “yeah. yeah, i do.” you push past him and go out the door tom left from. luke doesn’t bother following.

you’re ready to start searching for tom, but he ends up being right outside. he’s leaning against the side of the building. his head snaps up when the door opens. “didn’t mean to scare you.” you walk over to him. he sniffles and shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “‘s alright. rather you than someone else.” “tom, i’m-“ “don’t apologize.”

“i have to. the things luke said to you were really gross, and i hate that i didn’t stop him.” you take a step closer to him. “you couldn’t have predicted anything he said.” tom gives you a tight lipped smile. “he’s... not the kind of person i thought he was.” “he’s a bit of a dick, to be honest.” you giggle a little at that. you’re just relieved tom isn’t taking this too hard.

“so, he didn’t pass the friends test. i guess that’s okay since things are kind of over between us.” tom finally meets your eyes, furrowing an eyebrow. “why? what happened?” “i cursed him out. said some pretty mean stuff.” he holds out an arm for you. you let him put it around you, instantly settling into his warmth. you’ve needed this.

“you can do better. he seemed too boring for you, anyway.” you shrug your shoulders with a small smile. “i wanted to talk to you about that. i’m not really sure how to say this, so i’ll just... say it.” tom’s heart is beating so fast you can feel it next to you. “yeah?”

you turn to face him, his arm still around you. “i haven’t stopped loving you. this is bad timing because you’re about to go film uncharted, and it’s out of no where, but i thought i should tell you. it might not mean anything now-“ “come with me.” you’re both shocked by each other’s words. you laugh in disbelief, tom nodding to urge you to say yes.

“for real? you want me to go?” “i wanna work on us, and i’m not making you wait any longer. i was stupid for ever giving up. we can figure everything out, and it would only be for the summer-“ now it’s your turn to cut him off, your lips crashing into his. his eyes flutter closed as he kisses you back. he grabs your arms and both of you pull back to catch your breath.

tom kisses you again, this time softer. you smile against his lips. “god, i’ve missed doing that. i really, really love you, y/n.” “i really love you, tom.”

and just like that, he put the pieces of your heart back together.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland blurb #tom holland angst #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #marvel #mcu #spiderman #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction

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escaping-explosions · 4 years ago

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Tease - Aizawa Shouta x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+, daddy kink, creampie, smut up the ass, teasing, choking, sex toy use, sexting

A/N: I’ve been obsessed with the idea of Aizawa being tortured by his SO and then fucking them furiously so I made it and I definitely wrote it all in one night so there’s probably a lot of mistakes so pls be kind I haven’t written in a long time ;-;

You were about to be murdered. You definitely had the feeling that you were going to enjoy what whatever was coming to you but you were definitely going to die sometime tonight.

Aizawa’s eyes were burning holes into the sheer blouse that settled gently around your shoulders but you paid him no mind, continuing to prattle on whatever ridiculous subject Nezu had requested you speak about. All of Aizawa’s students paid rapturous attention, leaning forward in their seats as you spoke. The thoughts of the number ten hero, y/h/n, were important stuff after all.

“Okay, does anyone have any questions?” your perky voice shook Aizawa out of his stupor. Shame, anger and arousal crawled over his skin in turn as he lifted his gaze to meet your piercing y/e/c eyes. Try as he might, Aizawa couldn’t shake the vision of the filthy fucking photos you had sent him right before you entered his classroom. Unsuspecting of your true intentions, he had opened the files and choked on his coffee. The chatter of the classroom had stilled as a few of his students asked frantically if he was okay. He brushed them off as he scrolled through the photos you had sent him. The first ones had been innocent enough pictures of you getting dressed but the next few were… lewd to say the least. In one, you were flashing the soft dove grey lingerie set he had gotten you for your birthday to the camera, breasts pushed high by the bra. That was enough to make his mouth water but the next photo was you lifting the long, modest skirt you were wearing to show your fingers pressed against your dripping, wet pussy. The lacy thong was dark with your slick and you had evidently been playing with your pussy for a while because your fingers were wet up to the knuckles. He had shivered at the image, cock already getting hard as he yearned to take a taste and it took everything in him not to lick the surface of the phone itself.

The last photo was the true reason why he was currently so feral and why he was rock hard under his black joggers. It must have taken you forever to get the angle right in the mirror but you had bent over, hiked up the skirt and peeking from underneath the lace thong, was a gold princess plug with a red stone on the end. You had taken the photos this morning right before leaving the house and made sure to hit send to Aizawa before you walked in the room just to rile him up. You knew exactly what that would do to him: the thought of you pressing the plug into your ass and then strutting into his classroom like you owned the place. You hoped it would drive him wild and by the absolutely irritated look he had on his face when you walked in, you accomplished your goal and then some.

Aizawa ground his teeth together as hands shot up into the air, clenching his hands at his side. The softness of his pants grounded him reality. He was about to crawl right out of his skin if he didn’t get his hands on you like, yesterday, but these damn brats won’t stop asking questions. He didn’t blame them for being starstruck, you were pretty incredible but lord help him. He instead focused on how your voice sounded as it cheerily and sweetly answered all the inane questions that the brats asked, focused on how your eyes sparkled with pure, liquid evil, focused on how he was going to get his revenge on you later.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After class was dismissed for the day, Aizawa had requested that you meet him in his classroom so you could have go home together since you took the bus over.

And, you hoped, for a naughty rendezvous in his classroom.

You rubbed your thighs together in anticipation, the cool, wetness between your legs only hastening your stride. You had been toying with this idea of teasing Aizawa at school for a few months now so when Principal Nezu called to ask if you could speak to the class, you accepted without hesitating. The purchasing of the outfit and the plug were a little difficult since you lived with your boyfriend and his prying eyes but thankfully you had a very deep hall closet where things tended to get… “lost”. The get up for today had been squirrelled away and had been thrown on in a rush as soon as Aizawa had left to teach this morning.

Judging by the thunderous expression on your boyfriend’s face as you entered his classroom, you were going to get exactly what you wanted.

“Hi baby!” You strode across the room and fell into his lap to give him a kiss but he pushed you away. Hurt bloomed in your chest. Was he… That upset about the photos?

Aizawa closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, his brows knitted together in annoyance. He inhaled deeply, exhaling through his nose, a clear sign that he was stressed beyond measure. Your heart stuttered in your chest, suddenly regretful and unsure of yourself and your behavior today. Was it too much? It was probably too much.

“I fucking hate you.” You flinched at his words, a cold slap of words shocking you. Your head dropped in shame, the burning spreading across your cheeks and threatening to spill out of your eyes. Damnit, you really miscalculated this one.

“Get on the fucking desk.”

Your head snapped up, shocked as hell.

What?

Black, burning eyes met your gaze when you lifted your head. Aizawa’s eyes burned with fury, desire, and a hunger you’ve only seen a couple times from him. Boy oh boy, did it make you weak in your knees and your thighs squeezed together in reflex. With just with one look, your boyfriend already had you in the palm of his hand, dripping wet to the point you could feel strings of your slick sliding down your thighs.

He clicked his tongue in exasperation. “Kitten, I don’t like repeating myself. Get on the fucking desk or you’re going to be punished even more than I had initially planned.” Aizawa impatiently thumped the surface of the desk with his fingers and you didn’t hesitate to scramble up, crossing your legs as you did so but your boyfriend shook his head at this. “Don’t be shy now kitten, spread your legs so I can see that fucking pussy.” His voice was low, almost a growl as he ordered you to expose yourself to the cool air of the classroom. As he spoke, he smoothed his large palms up your calves. You shivered at his touch, tensing up slightly in anticipation of what was to come. Aizawa slid his hands under your skirt as his hazy black eyes zeroed in on your legs, pushing it up as he caressed your thighs in almost worshipful tenderness. Your heart softened for a second: he was always like this, touching you like you were something precious and delicate.

The soft touches quickly turned rough as your boyfriend forced your legs apart and hooked his fingers into your lacy thong in one motion. His voice hardened as he spoke. “You’re such a fucking slut, Y/N. Coming into my classroom with a goddamn buttplug in, talking to my fucking kids about school when I know all you want is to be plugged full of my fucking cum.” You shivered as you let out an involuntary mewl. Your boyfriend was the best at dirty talk and when he was furious like this, it only increased a hundredfold.

“Oh come on baby,” you tease breathlessly, your pussy clenching as your panties were pulled unceremoniously off. “You know you-“ The rest of your sentence was choked off as your boyfriend brought the completely soaked material up to his nose and inhaled the scent of your arousal. You whimpered, wishing it was your pussy next to his mouth. His tongue slipped out from between his lips and he lapped at the slick that coated the lace trapped between his fingers. His eyes fluttered shut as he could taste how turned on you were.

“What a filthy fucking slut. You’re so wet, look at you.” Without preamble, Aizawa dropped his hand to between your thighs and shoved two of his long fingers into your sloppy cunt causing you to throw your head back with a groan.

Oh fuck. Aizawa’s fingers filled you up in ways you had been needing all day and you rocked your hips in desperation, trying to get him to move them inside you but he remained still.

“Shouta plea-“ Your pleas were cut off by Aizawa’s sudden grip on your throat. Your breath caught and your eyes widened as you felt his fingers flex in a silent threat. “If the next words out of your mouth aren’t ‘please’, ‘more’, or ‘Daddy’, I don’t want to fucking hear it, kitten,” he spat out, his face twisting with lust and anger. “Got it?” You nod furiously, thankful that he was holding onto your throat or you would have been crying for his fat cock. Already, the slight lack of oxygen was making your head swim in the most delicious way as Aizawa gently leaned you back onto the table. He released you for a brief moment to snag a hair tie from his desk. With the darkest, smoldering look in his eyes, he tied his long hair back into a loose bun and renewed his grip on your throat.

Slightly reclining, his forearm was pressed against your chest to ensure that you didn’t move and that his grip stayed on your throat. Aizawa lowered his head between your thighs and you could feel yourself get wetter as he exhaled on your pussy. He admired the glistening shine of your arousal that coated your thighs and was leaking out of your pussy before diving in. Your shout of surprise turned into a cry of pleasure. Your dark haired boyfriend ate your pussy like a man starved, tongue fucking you as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. His tongue was slithering up and down your slit, dipping into your hole as his fingers pulled out. Occasionally, he would give a gentle suck to your clit which made you thrash, threatening to throw his hand off your neck.

“D-Daddy,” you whimper, slapping your hand over your mouth in hopes of strangling the cries before they came out. Aizawa pulled away from your pussy and in a low, dangerous voice that sent shockwaves straight to your pussy, he said “Don’t do that, I want to hear you cry.” His piercing black eyes latched onto yours as you shakily let your hand fall from your mouth. This entire time, he hadn’t stopped fingerfucking you, the desk slightly squeaking across the linoleum from the force of his pumping. You nodded at him and let out a high moan, the wet squelching of his fingers in your pussy sending your hormones through the roof. Your orgasm rapidly approaching, you let your head fall backwards and your eyes rolled back, fingers grasping at the loose fabric of your boyfriend’s black sweater.

All of the sudden, you were too empty and your eyes flew open.

“W-Wha, Daddy! Please!” You stuttered in betrayal at being brought to the edge and then left hanging. You were so close to cumming, you would have done anything but Aizawa had other ideas. His expression was cool but his eyes still burned with the same anger and lust from before as he sat backwards into his teacher’s chair.

“Filthy slut, you don’t get to cum before I do.” Your breath caught in your throat as you watched his heavy cock spring free of his sweats. His cock looked angry and dark, head purpling and wet with precum and you couldn’t wait to get it inside of you. Aizawa lazily picked up your abandoned thong, still soaked with your arousal and gripped it in his palm with his cock.

Black eyes bored into your own as he began to stroke his cock with your panties. The slick sound of his cock against the fabric was so hot, you were surprised that you didn’t burst into flames. As much as you wanted to reach for him, you knew that he would continue to deny you your orgasm if you misbehaved so you fidgeted in your spot, wishing it was your cunt wrapped lovingly around his cock, slicking it up with your wetness instead. Aizawa let his head drop back, letting out a guttural groan as he stroked his cock, already imaging your tightness wrapped around him.

“Fuck baby, do you know what the fuck you did to me today? How badly I wanted to fuck you all fucking day?” You whimpered and snuck a hand between your thighs, a couple of fingers pressing deep into your pussy hoping to take the empty ache away. The soft wet noises of you both touching yourselves filled the room. “Your slutty little cunt is just waiting to be filled with my load, isn’t it baby?” Aizawa grunted, twisting his wrist a little as he continued to jerk off. “You want to be bred, baby? You’ll really be able to call me Daddy then, won’t you?” You jerk your head in agreement, desperately scissoring your fingers inside yourself as you tried to find that spot in you that would see stars.

“Come over here baby, come ride Daddy’s fucking dick,” the dark haired man growled, tossing your panties to the side and you threw yourself off the desk and into his lap. With one fluid motion, your boyfriend had turned you around and spread your legs. You marveled at his strength, he had your leg hiked up in the air with one arm, exposing you to the silent room. With the other hand, he grabbed his cock and gently tapped it against your slit, the tackiness of your slick dripping down his cock. You helped him guide his cock into your waiting entrance and let out a long, low moan at the feeling of your boyfriend’s fat fucking cock stretching your tight cunt. As soon as he got the head of his cock in, Aizawa got impatient and dropped you onto his cock, punching a shout of surprise from your lungs.

You hooked your arm around his neck so you could see his face as you experimentally rolled your hips. Both of your eyes rolled back as you started to move, your tight channel sucking him in deeper and deeper and his girth stretching you in ways you had been craving all day. As he filled you, you could feel the plug that was in your ass moving in tandem, seperated from his cock by only a thin layer in your body. You were so full but you couldn’t help yourself, you kept fucking yourself back on his cock. With every bounce, you jostled the plug inside you and it just felt so good to be so full that you continued to ride your boyfriend. The lewd slapping sounds of your bodies moving together made you both moan in lust. Aizawa attempted to muffle his moans by sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, grazing his teeth across the skin. This earned him a high pitched whine from you and you bounced even harder on his cock, feeling your orgasm nearing.

“D-Daddy,” you gasped, sparks firing off low in your belly.

“Yeah, yeah baby, you gonna cum?” Aizawa panted, reaching around and gently stroking your clit. “Cum on baby, cum on Daddy’s dick.”

Hearing your boyfriend give you permission to cum was all you needed to push you over the edge. You screamed as the force of your orgasm hit you like a truck, slick squirting out over Aizawa’s fingers and dripping down his cock. Your boyfriend wasn’t far behind, biting into your shoulder to mask his cry as he came inside you, the pulsing of his cock almost arousing you again.

As you both came down from your highs, you could feel Aizawa laughing into your shoulder.

“Nasty, naughty fucking girl.”

#aizawa smut #aizawa x reader #BNHA imagines #mha aizawa #tw: daddy kink #tw: choking #tw: sex mention #my hero academia aizawa #aizawa shouta

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laurenairay · 4 years ago

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Prove You Wrong - J. Skinner

Summary: Audrey James, the girl with the loving heart, and Jeff Skinner, the boy with the brilliant smile, had been best friends for most of their lives – will their friendship ever develop into anything more?

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: pining, childhood friends to lovers, a little angst, a lot of cute fluff

A/N: I’ve wanted to write for Jeff for a while because I love this smiley pretty boy - and now that I’ve reached a new follower milestone (600!!) I thought I’d finally crack this out! I hope you all like it 💖

Tagging some lovely people who make hockeyblr a better place for me: @itsbadgerbadgermushroom @danglesnipecelly @texanstarslove @princessphilly @broadstbroskis @denis-scorianov @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @kallmekmk @thebookofmags

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë

Audrey James had known Jeff Skinner for as long as she could remember. Having grown up together in Markham, Ontario, Jeff the second youngest of six siblings and Audrey the youngest of four siblings, they’d bonded so quickly – and so strongly. Where Jeff went, Audrey was sure be by his side, most often a calming presence, a balancing figure, even from a young age.

When Jeff started skating like his siblings, Audrey was scooting along beside him.

When Jeff started figure skating lessons, Audrey twirled right there with him.

When Jeff started hockey practice too…Audrey helped him practice in his backyard.

She kept his many emotions as level as possible – he made sure she strayed out of her comfort zone. Friends came and went, schools changed, injuries healed, but things never changed between Jeff and Audrey. She trusted him as wholly as he trusted her, and their friendship only grew stronger every year. It didn’t matter that they couldn’t have been more different in appearance and personality – her long straight blonde hair versus his dark brown curls, or her grey eyes versus his brown eyes, or even her sweet retiring nature versus his joyful energetic nature. They complemented each other perfectly, balancing each other out and boosting each other up, and this only strengthened as they grew older.

Summers were spent practicing hockey in the backyard with all of their many siblings, road hockey games leaving sunburn, grazed knees, the occasional tears, sticky ice-cream and fond memories. Whenever Jeff got cuts on his knees, elbows or on one occasion his chin, he accepted Audrey’s pretty princess bandaids with a shaky smile. Whenever Audrey got knocked on her ass (by accident) by one of the older girls, she blinked away her tears as Jeff fiercely defended her, yelling at his sisters and hers in turn. When Jeff’s curls got too much for the summer heat, she held his hand as his dad clipped his hair short, watching sadly as the curls fell to the ground. When Audrey broke her arm in the last hockey game of the season, Jeff pestered his sisters to teach him how to braid their hair, so he could surprise Audrey by braiding her long blonde hair back out of her face for her, earning him the biggest smile he had ever seen. Every summer held a special memory for Audrey and Jeff, the sweetness of childhood and the beauty of friendship, and it didn’t matter what else was going on, what other friends joined or left – they always made time for each other. Summers were their thing, even more so when Jeff went to Kitchener – this made summers even more special, their time to spend together without normal-life distractions, and Audrey treasured it more than anything.

Time seemed to only be going past faster as they grew older though, and with that came changes. Growing up came with growing out of love with figure skating for Audrey.

While her interest in figure skating waned by the time she was 12, she never lost interest in his skating, whether that was figure skating or ice hockey. Audrey was even there watching with his family at the Canadian Junior National Figure Skating Championships (she couldn’t have been more proud of his bronze medal) before he chose to focus just on hockey. And as for hockey – Audrey truly was his biggest supporter. She went to every game possible, with either his family or with hers as well, and whether it was a win or a loss, Audrey was ready with a big hug and a smile. And Jeff appreciated it more than he could ever say. When he heard murmurs of people commenting on his small size, she would fiercely defend him, insisting that his speed, skill and heart were more than anyone could ever hope to measure up to. Because it was true. Jeff had always been special, Audrey knew that, and her heart could only fill with pride as he continued to prove people wrong.

But he never proved her wrong. She always knew he was going to be magnificent.

That was the funny thing about love – when you know, you know. And Audrey had known how she felt about the boy with the brilliant smile for a very long time. Her heart had been Jeff’s before she even knew what it meant, and as they grew older, especially as early teenagers, Audrey realised just what her feelings for her best friend meant.

She knew there was a glimmer of hope that Jeff felt the same. She knew that Jeff shared things with her (thoughts, feelings, fears) that he shared with no-one else. She knew that there were moments that lingered with a what if? She knew that the boys on his teams always teased him for having a girl best friend and that he always shrugged it off. She knew that the way he blushed around her sometimes was more than just nothing.

But she also knew that she could never tell him how she felt. Why? Because even at 16 she knew that he was destined to play in the NHL – and she wanted a career of her own too. Was it selfish? Perhaps. Was there a hint of cowardice? Perhaps. The thing is, Audrey had only ever known herself by Jeff’s side – and she wanted the chance to know who she was without him, as much as the very thought scared her.

So when Jeff was drafted to Kitchener, Audrey buckled down in school to get herself into college. She still went to as many games of Jeff’s as she could, still told him all the time of how proud she was, still phoned him every week to talk about anything and everything, still went with him family to his draft day and cried when he was selected 7th overall by the Carolina Hurricanes.

He was finally living his dream – now it was time to live hers.

Over the next four years, Audrey completed a civil engineering degree from University of Toronto. Staying in Toronto meant she got to stay close to her family – and to Jeff’s, who she saw in some capacity at least once a month. And naturally, regardless of exams or school events, if Jeff was in town playing the Leafs, Audrey would be there watching with his family – always with that big hug and a smile.

And as Jeff’s career continued to soar, Audrey’s narrowed into focus. After another year in education, completing a Masters in Environmental Sciences, she graduated straight into a job for a green energy company, staying in Toronto like she always had done. Same old Audrey.

That was, until the summer of 2018. That was the summer that Jeff got traded to Buffalo. That was the summer that Audrey’s company offered her a promotion with the condition that it came with an office transfer…to Buffalo. She would be managing her own pollution project with a small team, her first by herself but an opportunity that she knew she was ready for. And Jeff had been ecstatic – the nerves and anxiety of moving to a new city, to a new team, was lessened by the promise of being in the same city as his best friend after all these years. Audrey called it a happy coincidence. Her mom called it fate and a kick up the backside.

She ignored her mom on that one.

Two years passed and that happy coincidence was working out perfectly. Around both of their busy schedules, they tried to see each as often as possible, whether it was dinners after a long day in the lab, meeting each other for lunch nearby Audrey’s office, weekends off chilling on the sofa, or going out for drinks after her meetings or after his games.

With that came the standing tickets that Jeff always put aside of Audrey for all home games he played in. Audrey had yet to miss one, so happy she got to give him that big hug and a smile like she used to when they were younger.

And Jeff couldn’t have been happier. He had his calming rock, his confidante, the person he could be his most vulnerable self with. Just like he listened to her vent over her frustrating lab results or her long admin days in the office, she listened to him vent about his stresses in hockey. She listened to him get angry and sad and frustrated and desperate about the slump he had last year – and every time she reminded him of the love he has for the sport, for his career, always encouraging and telling him that if nothing else, she thought he was wonderful. She also listened to his nerves and excitement about Eric getting traded to Buffalo this summer, knowing that as much as Jeff was worried that things would be different within his friendship with his old mentor, their reunion would be a good thing for both players.

Audrey was his everything, and Jeff only wished he could show her how much she truly meant to him.

One thing that moving to Buffalo did change about their relationship was that they both saw the other one go on dates. Sure, Audrey was well aware that Jeff’s charm had worked well for him in Raleigh, and Jeff was more than well aware that Audrey turned heads wherever she went, but before they’d never seen the other one going on a date or being in a relationship.

Not that either of them had lasting relationships over the past two years, but there had definitely been enough dates to affect both of their hearts.

Audrey was the one that was currently dating – had been on a few dates now with the same guy. David. Jeff had weird vibes from this one already and he hadn’t even met him. But just from the way that Audrey described him, recounted their dates, Jeff had a bad feeling about this guy. David was an attorney, ambitious and confident, and he’d taken Audrey out to three fancy cocktail bars, a night out watching a play, and two very fancy restaurants, but…Jeff didn’t know. He just had that niggling thought that something wasn’t quite right about him.

And unfortunately, Jeff was proven right.

It was 10pm on the night of their seventh date that Jeff’s phone rang. Audrey. A pang of dread ran through him, and he quickly answered.

“Hey, Aud, you okay?” he asked, worried.

“No. He…”

He heard her take a shaky breath, and immediately felt sick.

“I’m coming over,” Jeff said, walking over to his front door and shoving on the first pair of shoes he picked up.

“Jeff, no, it’s okay,”

“I’m coming over,” he repeated firmly, before sighing, “you sound like you need a hug,”

Audrey choked out a laugh, settling Jeff’s stomach a little. At least she could still laugh.

“I’ll be with you soon, okay?” Jeff said softly.

“Yeah, okay. See you soon,”

He wasted no time in driving over to her apartment, potentially pushing the speed limit a little, but as soon as he saw her tear-streaked face he knew it was worth it.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here,” Jeff cooed.

As soon as he pulled her into his arms, Audrey started crying into his chest, making Jeff curse under his breath. He carefully walked her backwards, shutting the front door behind himself, and manoeuvred them both over to the sofa, letting her curl up on his lap. It was all he could do to hold her tightly as she cried, rubbing her back and murmuring nonsense into her blonde curls, trying not to tense up too much as he plotted David’s murder in his head.

Eventually she calmed down enough to lift her head, the smudged mascara under her eyes breaking her heart. He rubbed at the marks with his thumb, making her laugh a little watery, before he sent her an encouraging smile.

“So what happened?” he asked softly.

Audrey’s bottom lip wobbled briefly, before she took a deep breath.

“He broke up with me,” she whispered.

Jeff immediately scowled, and Audrey’s lips twitched in a smile.

“That asshole,” Jeff growled.

“Well, it wasn’t a break-up break-up because we were never official, but it was 7 dates, y’know? I thought we were exclusive and heading somewhere,” Audrey sighed.

“It was still the end of something important, Aud. And you liked him,” Jeff said firmly.

“Yeah, I did,” she said shakily, sniffing as her eyes filled with tears again.

“Hey, no, don’t waste any more tears on that asshole,” Jeff said sadly, cupping her face with both hands.

Then he squished her cheeks making her pout like a fish until she giggled, batting at his hands to let her go. Jeff smiled again, earning a soft smile back.

“Did he say why he wanted to break up?” Jeff asked, wincing.

Audrey swallowed heavily, dropping her eyes from his face, before she forced a smile on her lips.

“Apparently he didn’t want to waste any more time trying to get into my pants when he could get sex on tap with his secretary,” she said as calmly as possible.

Jeff’s jaw dropped, rage immediately flooding through his body. Audrey saw this and held her hand up to stop him exploding, which barely made him simmer down.

“Oh that fucking asshole!” Jeff spat, hands gripping onto her hips where she was still sitting on his lap.

She just nodded, smiling sadly. “At least I never actually slept with him,”

“Thank fucking god for that,” Jeff scowled.

Audrey placed her hand over his heart, making him look at her properly. “Hey, it’s okay. Well, it’s not, but it’s better that I know now than before we went into anything more, right?”

Jeff’s anger melted down a little, realising that she was trying to be brave, trying to protect herself, and steeled himself, nodding.

“Yeah, you are so much better off without him. He never deserved you,” Jeff said firmly.

“I know you didn’t like him,” Audrey said dryly, making Jeff blush a little.

“No, I didn’t. But you did. I only ever want you to be happy,” he said softly.

Now it was Audrey’s turn to blush.

“I know. And I appreciate that,” she said sweetly, although the sadness in her eyes told him she wasn’t quite there yet.

Jeff smiled sadly, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to her blonde hair.

“I’m here for you, no matter what. You know that,” he said, looking into her grey eyes.

Audrey’s eyes filled with tears again, and she looked away, trying to blink away the sadness that he didn’t deserve.

“Are you okay?” he frowned.

“Yeah,” she sniffed, nodding.

Jeff paused for a moment, looking over Audrey’s exhausted face properly.

“Honest answer?” he pushed.

She choked out a laugh, a small smile teasing at her lips. She should’ve known she couldn’t fool him, not the one person who knew her better than anyone.

“No,” she admitted.

Jeff nodded, smiling sadly, as if he had expected that response. “Would it help if I stayed?”

“Oh god, so much. But you-”

“If you’re about to finish that sentence with don’t have to then I will be so mad,” Jeff interrupted, raising an eyebrow, making Audrey blush lightly, “You’re my best friend, Aud, of course I want to stay,”

“Okay then,” Audrey said softly, “let’s get to bed then,”

Jeff followed her silently, smiling at the familiarity. This was far from the first time they’d shared a bed, sleepovers when they were younger a very common thing, and it wasn’t the first time they’d shared a bed in Buffalo either, a few drunken nights out leaving them passed out snuggling. But it was the first time they’d shared a bed after a broken heart – and that changed things.

They stayed silent as they got ready for bed, Jeff just pushing off his sweatpants to leave him in his t-shirt and underwear while Audrey changed into short-shorts and an old t-shirt, but Jeff was basically vibrating with the need to talk by the time Audrey came back from the bathroom.

“You know what, this isn’t enough,” Jeff said suddenly.

Audrey jumped at the sharpness in his voice, earning a sheepish smile from her best friend.

“You deserve to be happy. I want to make you happy,” Jeff said softly.

“You already do, Jeff,” she said, a little confused.

“I just mean…you deserve a date that makes you happy. You deserve to be so happy. So I want to take you out,” Jeff explained.

Audrey inhaled sharply. What did he…

Take her out?

Jeff saw the confusion, the nerves, the hope on her face, and swallowed heavily. Maybe he hadn’t been thinking when he first opened his mouth, but now he couldn’t take the words back. He didn’t want to take the words back.

He wanted to take her out.

He’d wanted to take her out for so long, the urge getting stronger and stronger with every terrible date she went on, with every terrible guy she met. He’d loved the girl with the loving heart for as long as he’d known what love is, but she’d always been just out of reach, never the right moment. And he didn’t want to scare her off, not after her heartbreak tonight. So…a dinner could work, right?

But he had to do this properly. She deserved that.

“Go out to dinner with me. Tomorrow night?” Jeff asked softly.

“In what context?” Audrey found herself asking.

Because as much as she wanted to curse herself for not just saying yes, she needed to know. Jeff chewed his bottom lip, thinking over his words carefully, and Audrey just waited with a fluttering heart.

“I want to make you happy. Can we just say that for now?” Jeff eventually said.

Audrey let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding but nodded. That…perhaps that was for the best for now. The thought of anything more, so out of the blue, after such a bad break-up, was extremely overwhelming. The thought of anything more with Jeff in itself was overwhelming after so long. Maybe it would feel too weird at dinner with him – keeping it low-key would limit any damage to their friendship, right?

“I would like that,” she nodded.

The smile that Jeff sent her was devastatingly happy, and it was impossible not to smile back.

“So we’ll have breakfast together before you have to leave for work, and then I’ll come come back around 7 to pick you up?” Jeff suggested.

It was all Audrey could do to nod, the smile still on her face. Whatever tomorrow night would bring, whether it was just a nice dinner out or the start of something new, she couldn’t wait.

7pm came around for Audrey before she even realised it. Her outfit was on, her hair was curled and pinned half-up half-down, and she was wearing a cute little pair of heels she had been saving for a special moment. And this was a special moment, no matter what they’d agreed. The butterflies in her stomach told her that much.

Of course she’d gone into work and told her colleagues all about what happened with David (who were all completely shocked and disgusted – and she had her suspicions that one of them would send him a glitter bomb to his office), as well as letting her older siblings know in their group chat. Her oldest sister Laura offered to send an anonymous tip to his work place to ruin him. Her older brother Simon offered to fly down and punch him in the throat. Her sister closest-to-her-in-age Dana offered to visit for as long as Audrey needed. She smiled and thanked all of them, but said it wasn’t necessary and that Jeff was taking care of her. Laura and Simon teased her like they usually did (and she knew that Laura, who was good friends with Jeff’s sister Jennifer, would be telling the Skinner family too), but Dana messaged her separately.

Because after Jeff, it was Dana who knew her best. And Dana could tell that something was different this time.

So Audrey had confessed everything during a call on her lunch break, telling her sister how Jeff had asked her out to dinner, admitting that it wasn’t quite a date but that he wanted to make her happy. Dana, naturally, had been over the moon, basically squealing in excitement down the phone, but Audrey had sworn her to secrecy. It wasn’t a date date. Nothing had been said between them. And she didn’t want to get her hopes up. Reluctantly Dana agreed to keep quiet for now, but she did insist on helping Audrey get ready for their not-date after work.

And to be honest, Audrey had really appreciated the confidence boost. Over video call, her sister her helped her narrow down her outfit to a cute long sleeved blue dress with a swishy skirt, knowing that blue really made her hair and her eyes pop. Pairing that with the cute comfy silver heels and a matching silver bag, Audrey was waiting by the door with her grey coat in hand, trying not to chew off her lipstick.

Then her phone buzzed. Dana.

From: Dana

Have fun tonight!

I know you’re trying to keep things low-key, but just see what the evening brings.

Go with the flow.

Be open to opportunities.

Call me tomorrow!

Audrey couldn’t help but smile, sending back a trio of heart emojis. Her sister really was the best. It was only moments later that Jeff arrived, and she rushed downstairs to meet him with a smile. She could do this. She could be open to possibilities. She could go with the flow.

“Wow, you look amazing,”

Audrey blushed at Jeff’s words, earning a blush back. She looked him up and down dramatically, making him laugh, but to be honest? He looked incredible. Jeff was wearing her favourite dark grey suit, a slight tweed in the pattern, with a white shirt that had the top two buttons undone. Incredible.

“You look great yourself,” she replied.

Jeff’s answering smile made her heart skip a beat. They walked to his car without further hesitation, just talking about their days as he drove, until Jeff parked up outside of a nice sushi restaurant.

“I hope this is okay?” Jeff said hesitantly.

“You know I love sushi,” she mused.

“I know, but we’ve never gone into an actual sushi restaurant, we always just order take-out,” Jeff pointed out.

She put her hand over his on the gear stick, making him inhale sharply.

“Then it’ll make a nice change to try a new setting, Jeff. I’m excited, let’s do this,” she said happily.

Jeff just nodded, the nerves in his stomach settling a little. They ate sushi all the time – this was just a nice dinner. Nothing weird or unusual about this at all. He could totally do this.

The way she looked shyly at him as they walked to the door still made his body thrum with nerves though.

But neither of them should’ve been nervous. The dinner went past so smoothly it felt like magic to Audrey. The food was fantastic – both of them daring the other to try at least one dish they hadn’t had before – and their conversation flowed like it always did. To be honest it felt like their usual nights – if Jeff hadn’t added that level of what if then it wouldn’t have been any different. But he did add it, and neither of them could forget that.

As always, Audrey made Jeff feel like the only guy in the world, her warm smile focused only on him. As always, Jeff made Audrey feel like the most important person in the world, so sweet and kind. And as always, they laughed and smiled and talked, and Audrey couldn’t have been happier.

Jeff achieved what he had promised to do – he had made her so happy. So what next?

They arrived back at Audrey’s apartment building late, having taken a walk after dinner, not wanting the night to end so soon, wanting this idyllic moment to continue on as long as possible.

But eventually they had to call it to an end, both of them having early starts in the morning, as much as they wished otherwise. Like the gentleman he always was with her, Jeff walked Audrey up to the front door of the building, both of them pausing.

“I had a really good time tonight,” Audrey said softly, looking up into Jeff’s eyes.

“So did I,” Jeff replied.

They both blushed, Audrey ducking her head, before she looked back up at him. She’d always seen him look at her like this, so open and happy, but for some reason tonight added another level. He was looking at her like there was nowhere else he’d rather be. And that sent a thrill through her body that both excited her and overwhelmed her. But in a good way?

“I know you’re busy for the next couple of days, but we could do something on Saturday?” Audrey offered.

Jeff nodded so enthusiastically that she couldn’t help but laugh.

“That sounds perfect,” Jeff grinned, not deterred in the slightest, “I’ll bring takeout?”

“I’d like that,” Audrey nodded in agreement.

She bit her bottom lip, hand reaching out to brush against his hand briefly, before she stepped away, heart pounding in her chest.

“Thanks for tonight Jeff. Call me tomorrow?” she said, a little breathless.

“Yeah, of course. See you,” he said, smiling a little hopelessly.

They lingered in silence a little longer, before Audrey laughed, opening her front door as Jeff rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Bye Audrey, sleep tight,” Jeff smiled, finally starting to walk away.

And she absolutely did.

Audrey spent the next day in a daze. She’d woken up with more butterflies in her stomach than she ever thought possible, a stupid smile on her face as she read Jeff’s good morning :) text. Last night had been different. So different. But she liked it? She had definitely liked exploring this new side of Jeff, the guy she’d known since they were toddlers, but who walked to their dinner table with a hand on the small of her back and pulled out her chair for her.

He showed her the romantic side of him last night, and she definitely liked what she saw.

And when she gushed down the phone to her sister Dana on her lunch break again, she knew her sister was at least a little smug.

“I told you that being open to opportunities was a good thing!”

“I know, I know, but I didn’t expect this,” Audrey laughed.

“What, the boy who’s always been in love with you making you just as happy as we all always knew he would?”

Audrey blushed at the dryness in her sister’s voice, and shook her head.

“He’s not always been in love with me, don’t be ridiculous,” Audrey said simply.

“If I was with you right now I would be shaking you by the shoulders. Talk to him. I swear to god. You know I wouldn’t say it, not now, if I didn’t mean it,”

Audrey swallowed heavily. Dana’s voice had so much conviction in it, like she truly believed what she was saying, and that only sent Audrey’s head into more of a spin. Jeff…was in love with her?

That phone call hadn’t helped, to be honest. This was all still throwing her for a loop. Her feelings for Jeff had been building up for two decades, two long decades, and to have the potential of his feelings matching hers? It was almost too much to bear.

And she had to wait until Saturday to be able to see him in person again. This was so much more than something she could do over text, or over a phone call, but she knew that maybe waiting was a good idea. Maybe it would give her time to get her thoughts together, to not be impulsive. Maybe it would give her enough time to get her head around the thought of Jeff’s feelings. Maybe.

The day after that passed with a blur as well, going faster than she thought possible, and even after another phone call with Dana on the Friday night, Audrey still didn’t know what she was thinking. But she knew she had to try. So just after midday, changing into a pretty pale blue dress and curling her hair lightly, she headed over to his house. Jeff opened the door with his usual smile, and he welcomed her in straight away. She bit her bottom lip as he not-so-subtly checked her ass out in the dress, trying to stop the smile that threatened to break out. Maybe. Just maybe.

“So I told Dana about our dinner the other night,” Audrey blurted out.

Damn it.

Jeff’s eyes widened in fear, making Audrey laugh slightly, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I swore her to secrecy, she’s not going to say anything to anyone,” she reassured.

“I mean, if it was Laura you told, I know she would’ve already told Jennifer, and then everyone would know within the hour,” Jeff admitted.

Oh god yeah, that would’ve been the worst idea.

“So, um, what did you tell her?” Jeff asked hesitantly.

“That you took me out to dinner because you wanted to make me happy. And that I had a really good time,” Audrey summarised, not wanting to admit the full extent quite yet.

Jeff’s instant brilliant smile made her heart race a little, before he blushed. “Okay, that’s not so bad. What did she say in response?”

Audrey hesitated, not sure how much detail to go into. She definitely couldn’t say that Dana thought Jeff was in love with her…

“That I should be open to opportunities, that we should see where this goes,” Audrey eventually said.

Jeff bit his bottom lip, but nodded, looking deep in thought, which Audrey didn’t know whether it was a good thing or not.

“She makes a lot of sense,” Jeff said softly.

Audrey inhaled sharply. Just like that?

“What if something goes wrong between us?” she whispered.

“What if something goes right?” Jeff countered, stepping towards her.

Audrey didn’t dare move, Jeff getting closer and closer until he was standing right in front of her, barely a foot of space between them, his beautiful brown eyes dark and intense, making her head swim. So she shook her head, trying to clear out the haze.

“I can’t lose you. If something didn’t work out between us, I couldn’t bear to lose you, I don’t know what I’d do,” she said firmly.

Jeff licked his bottom lip nervously, his eyes going through various emotions.

“And if we didn’t let ourselves feel? We just carry on as we always have done, never knowing?” Jeff frowned.

Let ourselves feel. Was he admitting his feelings? Did he know hers already?

“I don’t know, Jeff. I just don’t know,” she mumbled.

Jeff reached out with both hands, cupping her elbows gently.

“I don’t think we can just go back,” Jeff admitted.

Well, shit.

“So where does that leave us?” Audrey asked softly.

“I don’t know! But I can’t stand the thought of you giving your heart away again to some guy who doesn’t appreciate it! Who doesn’t deserve it!” Jeff snapped, stepping away from her sharply.

Audrey’s jaw dropped slightly, her heart beating faster as a lump rose in her throat.

Jeff swallowed heavily, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you, I swear. But can’t you see that these other guys have only ever treated you like shit?”

Audrey’s lips pressed together in a tight line, trying to control her emotions, and she clenched her fists.

“I know that I haven’t exactly had a good track record, but you haven’t really had the best taste in dates either Jeff. All the exact same type of woman traipsing through your life and not a single one has stuck around,” Audrey said angrily.

“That’s because none of them ever measured up to you!” Jeff retorted.

His words hung in the air, Audrey inhaling sharply. Jeff groaned and closed his eyes, wishing he could take his last statement back, but knowing that he couldn’t. It was out there now, the real reasoning, but he was nervous to open his eyes and see Audrey’s reaction.

Would she be angry? Disgusted? Happy?

“Jeff, please look at me,” Audrey said softly.

“I don’t know if I can,” he said, choking out a laugh.

“Please?”

Jeff took a deep breath, before doing so, the pleading in her voice making him powerless. When he finally looked at her, he could barely read her face, the first time in a very long time.

“None of them measured up to me?” she said quietly.

It was the sheer volume of hope in her eyes that made Jeff brave enough to speak.

“You’ve been it for me for a long time, Aud,” he admitted.

There it was.

The noise that Audrey made was so full of both surprise and hurt that Jeff flinched. But she quickly reached out towards him, tugging him back towards her with her hands at his waist.

“I’m it? You…you really do love me?”

Jeff laughed a little wetly, full of emotion, but he nodded which only made Audrey’s heart clench. After all this time…

“I love you Audrey Marie James. I have done for a long time,” Jeff said simply.

“Oh Jeff. Jeff, I love you too,” Audrey whimpered, “so much,”

Jeff grinned, so hard that he made his cheeks hurt, before raising his hands to cup her face. He squished her cheeks into a fish pout like he always did, making her laugh and bat at his hands, breaking the tension.

“Fuck, I love you,” Jeff said happily, hands moving to rest on her shoulders.

“I love you too. Oh my god. I love you. I can’t believe I finally got to say it out loud,” Audrey giggled.

Jeff just laughed as well, giddiness overtaking him, not letting him think of anything but her.

“We’ve wasted so much time,” he huffed.

But Audrey just shook her head, her smile a little sad. “I was just so scared of not having you in my life that I didn’t dare risk you rejecting me,”

“There is no parallel universe in which I would reject you,” Jeff laughed.

“Nerd,” she said fondly, earning a brilliant smile, “I just…I wanted my own career too, y’know? And I didn’t know what would’ve happened if I just followed you for the rest of my life,”

Jeff swallowed heavily at her confession, but nodded.

“I don’t know what would’ve happened either. We’ll never know. But what I do know is that you’re a brilliant woman, who is crazy smart and wonderful and beautiful, and I’m so proud of everything you achieved. Like, you’re literally a civil engineer and an environmental scientist! That’s so cool! I’m just happy you could possibly want to be with boring old hockey-playing Jeff,”

“You’re not boring or old. And I fell in love with hockey-playing Jeff a long time ago, so I really don’t think I’m losing out here,” Audrey mused.

Jeff huffed a laugh, his heart racing a little more at her firm words, leaning his head down to rest his forehead against hers. “Well would you be this hockey player’s girlfriend?”

“Only if you’ll be this engineer-scientist’s boyfriend,” she countered.

Jeff grinned, dimples out in full force, making Audrey tilt her head back to laugh. This was real life. This was really happening. Holy shit.

But there was just one thing left…

“Hey, Jeff?” she said suddenly.

“Yeah?” he asked, one hand rising to cup her face.

It was when his thumb stroked over her cheekbone that she knew this was everything.

“Will you kiss me?”

Jeff looked a little astounded, jaw dropping a little, before that brilliant smile came back.

“Yeah, ‘f course,” he murmured.

Audrey inhaled sharply, before tilting her head up, leaning up towards him as Jeff leant down to her. Their lips touched softly, sweetly, both of them breaking off to laugh, both a little stunned, before Audrey pressed her lips to his again a little firmer. Jeff made a soft happy noise, kissing her back, his free hand sliding around her waist to bring their bodies together. She moaned in surprise at the feeling of his strong body against hers, but melted in his arms, lost in the motion of their kisses, completely consumed in a way she’d never been before.

Jeff broke away briefly with another soft moan, eyes searching her face a little desperately, before he kissed her again, clutching her a little tighter. And then he broke away for a final time, taking a step back with wild eyes, leaving her head spinning.

“I don’t want to get carried away,” Jeff panted, cheeks heating up in a blush.

Audrey bit her bottom lip but nodded, knowing her was right even if her racing heart didn’t want to admit it. “At least it was worth the wait?” she offered.

Jeff just groaned, making her laugh. Then her breath caught in her throat as Jeff adjusted his dick in his pants, alerting her to just how riled up he gotten. Oh fuck. Carried away indeed.

“You’re worth so much more to me than rushing into sex. I want to ease into things, y’know? I’ve waited this long for you to be mine, I can wait a little longer,” he said seriously.

“I love you too,” Audrey said happily.

Jeff just smiled that brilliant smile.

To: Dana

He loves me.

He loves me!

From: Dana

Holy fucking shit, about time.

Can I actually tell everyone now?

The next two weeks were the happiest that Audrey could remember. They had three days in a row together where Jeff wasn’t doing anything other than light training and rest, ahead of a 10 day roadtrip, and they made the most of it. Well, after another long talk about their emotions, because they could do that now, and fielding various calls from their many family members, they’d also spent a lot of time sweetly making out on the sofa whenever Audrey wasn’t working. Because hey, they could do that now too. To be honest, Audrey was a little addicted to the feeling of his lips on hers anyway – she fantasised about it for years on the occasional forbidden burst of weakness, but the reality of it blew away all fantasy.

Jeff was finally hers, and she couldn’t be happier.

The 10 days that Jeff was away on his sweeping road trip was harder this time though too. She didn’t expect it to be this hard, but she supposed that the emotions she’d locked away for so long were finally out and they were vulnerable in this newness. It did help with Jeff calling her every night though. She did tell him he didn’t have to, that she sure as hell didn’t expect it, but he just said that he’d always wanted to call her every night but he felt like he would be pushing boundaries. So how could she say no to that?

And it did make having him home finally a sweeter moment.

Tonight was the first home game since they got together officially, and Audrey was a little nervous. It was tradition for the players’ partners to wear a special customised jersey, and Jeff had presented her with one in the hopes that she would wear it to the game tonight. She had immediately agreed, of course, but it didn’t make this new step any less daunting. It was a big declaration, so public, but she did want people to know that Jeff was hers just as much as she was his.

It wouldn’t be so scary, right? She hadn’t missed a home game since he’d been in Buffalo, and she wasn’t about to start now.

So after kissing Jeff goodbye, leaving him with a sweet smile as he headed to the rink early to prepare for the game, Audrey got herself ready to enter the arena as Jeff Skinner’s girlfriend, a little more make-up and hair curled a little neater than usual, just like armour.

“Oh my God, Audrey!”

Audrey jumped at the sound of Tanya Staal’s shriek as she entered the family box, unable to stop the smile that spread across her lips. There had been a few occasions in Raleigh, when Audrey had visited while Eric was still playing there, that Audrey had met the former captain’s wife, and she had always been so sweet and welcoming. And although Tanya mostly stayed up in the family box with their kids, there had been a few team occasions since Eric was traded to Buffalo this season started that Audrey had attended as just Jeff’s friend (as that’s obviously all she had been until recently) where she’d been able to make friends with the older woman properly this time round.

Audrey always had the impression that Tanya thought she and Jeff were more than friends, but obviously now with the statement of the jersey, it was clear that the situation had changed.

“Is this true? Is this really happening?” Tanya asked hopefully.

Audrey blushed but nodded, earning a happy squeal.

“Yeah, Jeff told me he loved me two weeks ago and we’ve been dating ever since,” Audrey admitted.

“Holy shit, about time,” Tanya laughed.

It was all Audrey could do to nod, laughing a little wetly, still a bit overwhelmed.

“Okay, let me introduce you to the other player’s partners? It’s totally different than just being a friend,” Tanya offered.

Thank fuck for a friendly face. Audrey nodded in relief, letting Tanya guide her around the various women and children, the partners that she’d met previously thrilled with the news of the relationship status change (most of them saying finally or about time, which really made Audrey reconsider how obvious she’d been), and the rest of them just as welcoming. She’d done it. She was officially introduced, and she felt almost giddy with it.

The game itself was choppy, rough with hits and scrappy with goals, but the Sabres managed to pull out a win making all the people in the family box cheer. Tanya walked down by her side to wait for their men, linking their arms together like she knew just how much Audrey needed the support. As soon as Jeff saw her by Tanya’s side in their customised jerseys, his face got a really dumb lovestruck look, making Tanya laugh and nudge Audrey over to him.

“Hi, wow,” Jeff said happily.

“You like it?” she asked softly.

“You know I do,” Jeff murmured.

It was all Audrey could do to lean up on her tiptoes and kiss him, earning happy sighs and coos from the other women around them. She broke away with a laugh, moving so that they were just holding hands, but couldn’t stop looking at him despite how sappy she knew it was.

“You were amazing. I’m so proud of you,” she said softly.

“Couldn’t let you down, not when I knew you were watching as my girl,” Jeff grinned.

Audrey just laughed, rolling her eyes fondly. More players started walking out now (Jeff must’ve rushed out, bless him), including…Eric Staal.

Eric took one look at the way they were looking at each other and whooped.

“Holy shit, about time,” Eric grinned, unknowingly mimicking his wife.

“Nice to see you too, Staal,” Audrey said dryly, although she leaned up to kiss his cheek in greeting with a smile.

“Oh god yeah, you’ll know about their long suffering pining, won’t you Staalsy?” Jack laughed from behind Eric, joining their little group, Tanya already under Eric’s arm.

“So much pining, it was painful,” Eric said solemnly, although the laughter in his eyes mostly ruined the effect, “Audrey visited a few times down in Raleigh and she was at every game against the Leafs too, and Jeff’s smile was always at it’s brightest when she was there,”

“Gotta support my best friend,” she said simply, nudging Jeff with her arm.

Jeff nudged her back, but she didn’t miss the pleased smile on his lips.

“Oh come on, it was so much more than that! Jeff’s crush was so damn obvious, right from the very first time Audrey visited,” Eric mused, looking at Jack.

Audrey grinned. Was it now? Jeff just rolled his eyes, making her laugh.

“We literally only started dating two weeks ago,” Audrey pointed out.

“You’re shitting me, I thought you were joking Jeff,” Eric said, jaw dropping.

“I can actually confirm that. That day that Skinny came in to practice smiling like it was Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one really was the first full day,” Jack smirked.

Jeff blushed furiously, making Audrey laugh. Eric just shook his head, still shocked.

“All that time and you never did anything about your crush?” Eric asked, confused, “I thought you were just keeping things low-key,”

Hah, not quite.

“We tried telling him,” Jack sighed dramatically, although he was clearly loving this.

“Holy shit Skinny, took you long enough,” Eric snorted, Tanya just giggling.

“If we’re done gossiping like old grandmas?” Jeff asked dryly.

“Never,” Eric grinned.

Jack just looked delighted, and Jeff knew there was no way that the rest of the team wouldn’t hear about this.

“I’d say it was worth the wait,” Audrey said happily, squeezing his hand.

Jeff’s irritation immediately faded to a soft happiness, and Jack made a loud gagging noise at their heart-eyes.

“Okay, I’m out. Hurry up and shower, Skinny. We’ve got team drinks to get to,” Jack said firmly.

Jack sent Audrey a wink, letting her know how happy he really was for them, before leaving them.

“So does this mean I can tell Jordie? He’s going to be thrilled,” Eric grinned.

Jeff just groaned.

Dancin' in the kitchen, You singing my favourite songs, Swinging on the front porch, Just laughing at the dogs, Now you swear you love me more, When you're whispering goodnight, All those little moments are every reason why.

Jeff watched from the kitchen door as Audrey sang to herself, swaying slightly as she stirred whatever she was cooking in the pot on the stove. He didn’t think he could love her anymore than he already did, but seeing her like this in his kitchen, blonde hair loose and messy, wearing one of his t-shirts instead of one of her own, well…he was happy to prove himself wrong.

Then she spotted him out of the corner of her eye and shrieked, swirling around to face him with one hand clutching her heart.

“You almost scared me to death,” she gasped, pouting.

Jeff laughed, shrugging apologetically. “I couldn’t help myself. You looked so cute singing and dancing to your music,”

Audrey blushed a little, but shrugged too. “I’m obsessed with this Kane Brown song right now. Although if I’d known you were watching I probably wouldn’t have sung…”

“Aww no, don’t ever stop because of me,” Jeff mused, shaking his head, earning a smile from her, “maybe I can make it up to you?”

Audrey frowned in confusion, before Jeff moved his hand out from behind him, revealing the flowers he’d been hiding behind his back.

“You bought me flowers? How sweet!” she cooed, reaching out for the bouquet.

“Yeah? You like them?” Jeff asked hopefully.

She nodded, smiling widely as she inhaled deeply, making Jeff smile in turn. “I love them Jeff. And, um, no-one’s ever bought me flowers before,”

Jeff’s heart flickered with rage, at all those stupid guys she’d dated, who never deserved her, who never treated her like she deserved, before he forced himself to take a deep breath. No, past assholes weren’t worth thinking about any more. He was going to prove to her that he was worth it instead of them.

“Well I happen to love buying flowers, so be on the look out for more,”

“Jeff!” Audrey giggled, “You know I don’t want to buying me things, spoiling me,”

Because it was true. She didn’t want it or need it. And she never wanted him to think that it was expected.

“Oh they’re definitely not for you. They’re for me,” Jeff grinned, clearly lying.

Audrey rolled her eyes fondly, before smiling. “Oh, well, if they’re for you then that’s definitely acceptable,” she teased.

Jeff just laughed, moving to slide his arms around her waist, Audrey sliding her arms up around his neck, the flowers still in her hand.

“Will you dance with me?” Jeff asked softly.

“Right now?” Audrey laughed.

“Right now,” Jeff nodded, deadly serious.

Audrey laughed again but nodded, letting him sway her from side to side in a simple two-step shuffle, resting her forehead against his. It was little sweet moments like this, Jeff surprising her with his romantic notions, that made Audrey’s heart ache a little for all the potential missed moments over the years, but also made her heart sing that she got to experience them with him now.

Because this guy was everything to her, and even something as simple as him buying her flowers, or asking her to dance in the middle of the kitchen, made her realise just how lucky she was.

Mornings were quickly becoming Audrey’s favourite time of day. Whether it was waking up in her own bed or waking up in Jeff’s, seeing his face first thing as she woke up just made her day started so perfectly.

How could she not love feeling his arms wrapped around her? How his face was usually buried in her hair? How his leg slotted between hers?

She knew she loved that first sleepy smile, his wonderful dimples soft and gentle, always giving her butterflies without fail. She definitely loved the way his groggy voice murmured her name, how he pressed a closed-mouth kiss to her lips, never wanting to wait for that first simple pecked kiss before he brushed his teeth.

It was everything she could ever have asked for, everything she could never have dreamed of. With the highs came the lows, of course, and being in his arms those mornings was just as important. Like this morning, for instance.

“Last night was rough…” Jeff sighed, scrubbing at his tired eyes with the palms of his hands.

The game. The game was so stressful even just watching, so Audrey could only imagine how it would’ve felt being on the ice. Turnovers, stupid penalties, sloppy passes – it really just wasn’t their night. And when Jeff had finally walked out of the changing room ready to go home…well, it was all Audrey could do to go to bed in silence and let him curl into her side.

“…but waking up with you by my side makes me feel a million times better already,” he finished.

“You, Jeffrey Skinner, are a sap,” Audrey said fondly.

“Well you already knew that,” Jeff mused.

True, she did.

“Kiss me?” she prompted.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” Jeff said hesitantly.

“Don’t care,” Audrey shrugged, “you didn’t kiss me last night,”

Jeff’s face looked horrified, making Audrey burst out in laughter.

“Babe, I’m so sorry,” Jeff insisted, eyes wide and serious.

Babe. Huh. She could get used to that.

“Well luckily for you, you’ve got all day to make up for it,” Audrey teased.

Jeff’s eyes lit up at that, making her laugh again, before he rolled on top of her. He looked down at her fondly, face soft in the morning light, before he leaned down to kiss her slowly, softly, sweetly, over and over again. One of Audrey’s hands reached up to slide into his messy curls, the other clutching at his waist, Jeff just moving in to lie between her thighs, making Audrey’s body stir with excitement. Yes, she could definitely get used to this.

Eventually their kisses slowed down to a final few pecks, Jeff leaning back to look down at her properly.

“Have I told you that I love you?” he asked, resting his weight on his forearms as he hovered over her.

“Not today,” she grinned.

“Well let me rectify that,” Jeff grinned back.

Audrey shrieked as Jeff pressed a flurry of kisses to her face and neck, saying I love you between every few.

6 months later

Jeff’s hand was resting on Audrey’s thigh as they drove through the familiar streets of Markham, two weeks of vacation booked for her and invitations to come home from both their families guiding the way. To be honest, Audrey was pretty excited to experience their childhood homes with this new evolution of their relationship, to see things through a different perspective, and she knew that the childhood friends that were still around were excited to see them as them too.

It was a long time coming, after all.

“My mom is thrilled that I’m bringing you home as my boyfriend for the first time,” Audrey said softly, when they were about 5 minutes away from her family home.

“She’s known me for nearly three decades…” Jeff pointed out, trailing off in confusion.

“And she’s been cheerleading us for at least half of that,” Audrey admitted.

Jeff’s face froze briefly, before it shifted into fear.

“We’re about to be ambushed by your whole family, aren’t we?” he sighed.

“Definitely. Potentially all of yours as well, if I know my mom,” Audrey smirked.

And Audrey did know her mom – she knew in her gut that the moment Audrey told her that she would be bringing Jeff by as her boyfriend, that her mom rang Jeff’s mom to organise a joint group effort. There was no way that the women weren’t going to see them both at the same time, and there was no way their siblings wouldn’t be around to say I told you so. It would be ridiculous…but it was just who their families were.

Jeff just groaned, making Audrey giggle.

“There’s still time to turn the car around you know. Say we changed our minds, hide away in a cabin somewhere for a couple of weeks?” she offered.

No amount of stress was worth losing Jeff, not now she finally had him by her side.

But Jeff anxious face split into a smile. “As much as I would love to avoid the combination of our giant families…we can’t avoid them forever,” he mused, “and besides, you’re worth it,”

Audrey didn’t think she could love him any more than she already did, but there he goes, proving her wrong.

#my writing #jeff skinner #i love childhood friends to lovers so much #and i love jeff and his cute dimples so much too #follower milestone #jeff skinner fic #jeff skinner x oc #jeff skinner fanfic #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey fanfiction #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction

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