#I’ve been enjoying this show so much is genuinely upsetting seeing myself so close to finishing it

[lemonmatronics]

I only have 10 episodes of Jem and The Holograms left before I finish the series what’s the point of being alive after that

[mrsvercetti]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. I’m not sure if you do Yandere matchups, otherwise let this be regular. May I please have a romantic Yandere matchup for fnaf? Maybe tmnt if you do two. I use they/it/he pronouns and I’m pansexual with a preference to masculinity. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus, moon sign is Gemini. Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I’m into dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, Tim Burton, death games, true crime documentaries, and anatomy. I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable. I get a lot of monikers from friends in family like "discount babydemonx", "doomer boy kinnie", and "Remake of Daria" before. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people. When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Even though, I do have a lot of problems with understanding social cues. Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person. I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above. I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( Deftones, Arch Enemy, MurderDolls, Slipknot, Rob Zombie,,, sometimes Will Wood, McCafferty, Jazmin Bean or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games or reading and talking about Greek mythology. I also speak some Japanese. My interests tend to be very restricted, and I shut down easily getting into new things. I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I suffer from autism, GERD, depression and anxiety. I have stims where I bite the inside of my cheek, pull my hair, crack or pop my bones, fidget with my fingers or a toy or bounce my leg. I even hiss or squeal when I’m upset. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. If you do get to this, thanks for your time. - coii

A/N: I am sooo sorry for taking too long to answer this request 😖😖😖. I was having exams and life was hectic. Also, there was a bit of procrastination and my mental health wasn't really great. So yeah, I was a hot mess. Anyways, here is your matchup request! I hope you enjoy! 😊 (Also, I apologize if there is any grammar mistakes.)

WARNING: YANDERE THEMES, MENTIONS OF MURDER

FNAF MATCHUP

I PAIR YOU UP WITH....

Nightmare

Nightmare would be an amazing match for you.

He’s a scary dude and is not known for having any romantic interest or any general liking towards anyone. He’s only known for tormenting people.

Him having a special attachment towards you might be concerning at first (Because he maybe planning to torture you as well.) But after some time, he shows is affectionate and caring side.

He’s a yandere to the EXTREME!

He doesn’t talk a lot. So, you might be the one to start the conversation.

He’s an extremely possessive guy. He hates it or gets annoyed when you stare at other people.

He can be a little rough and can get jealous super easily.

If you’re going anywhere, he’d like to tag along with you since he can get a little clingy.

Especially when you’re going to any abandoned places. Who knows? Going there must be dangerous. He must protect you at all cost.

He likes how people get intimidated by you. He would think that assholes would stay away from you. But if they don’t, they won’t see another light of day.

He would get super violent towards people who hurt you in any way.

He can teleport, so their death will be really quick.

He’ll literally do anything to make you happy. If you really hate someone and he knows about it, he’ll kill that person in the most brutal way possible and will bring to you. So yeah… watch out for that…

Will kill or hurt anyone who hurts you. Even if it is by accident. He doesn't understand the word “accident” so, you might wanna teach him.

Wherever you go and you come back home, he’ll ask you a bunch of questions like: “How did your day go?”, “Did anyone hurt you?”, “Should I come along next time?” etc.

Isn’t really good at romance, so he does things that you’ll like. Like helping you out with stuff, buying you things, etc.

He likes your sarcasm and enjoys your jokes. But the only thing is, don’t joke about the time when he was human. He will snap at you if you do.

He admires your feistiness and often comments about it. He would say “You’re so cute” every time you’re being feisty.

If you’re being closed off or very quiet. He’ll leave you alone if you need space. Otherwise, he’d constantly ask you if you’re okay.

He’ll help you in any way he can. If your house is messy, he’d clean it up for you.

He’ll play your favorite music when you’re feeling down.

He would watch you play video games. He’s not gonna play it with you since he’s too big to even hold a controller or a mouse. He’s huge. Like, above 7 foot. And his hands are too big. A mouse could be half the size of his pinkie. But, he’s gonna stand behind you and watch you play

He would tease you about your height. Not too much though since he doesn’t want to make you upset.

You could teach him Japanese and about Greek Mythologies. He finds interest in it.

Sometimes, he would teleport into a clothes store and just try to find a cute black colored outfit for you. He’ll do this when you’re asleep and the store is closed. He would of course trash the security systems.

In the morning he’ll be like “Hey, I went to the store last night and found a cute outfit. I was wondering if you could try it on.”

It doesn’t have to be clothes. It can be plushies since you’re a plushie maniac.

He’s known for staring at people for an uncomfortable amount of time. He’ll stare at you when you’re sleeping which will scare the living fuck out of you. Since he’ll be in the dark and his eyes will glow red.

He finds it adorable when you’re cuddling with your plushies. He’ll ask you one day on why you’re doing it. If you say you’re touch starved, he’ll try to cuddle with you.

He’ll cuddle with you very gently since he has sharp claws and doesn’t want you cut you.

Since he’s very possessive, he thoroughly enjoys you being submissive.

He is no stranger when it comes to mental health. He used to be human once and when his life was taken away, all he knew was violence and darkness. He no longer felt love from someone else. He doesn’t know where his family is or even remember their names or how they looked like. That deeply hurts him and he blames himself for that. For being too late to contact his family. Let them know that their child is still alive, in this giant tormenting suit.

Overall, he’s just someone who wants to be loved and someone who wants to give someone all his love and attention. He found you and he instantly knew you were the one. He could mess up a few things sometimes and he will learn what to do and what not to do when doing those mistakes.

He can be moody sometimes and if he’s in a terrible mood, he’ll lock you up in your room. He doesn’t want see anyone when he’s not doing good.

If you start to feel uncomfortable or annoyed by him for too long, he will snap. He lost his most of his humanity and all the affection that he if giving you is that small little piece that is left within him. Once again, he is a yandere. If you live with him, you’ll have to adapt with whatever he’s doing. If you don't want to, you’ll die. Choice is yours.

TMNT MATCHUP

I PAIR YOU UP WITH...

Raphael

From the TMNT universe, Raphael would be an amazing match for you

You and Raphael share similar interests, which is why he fell for you. He hasn't met anyone like him other than Casey Jones.

This man gets EXTREMELY jealous. More than Nightmare and that’s a big problem.

He’s basically the type to follow you ANYWHERE you go.

Will get extremely angry and jealous if he sees you with any of his brother or even Casey. If he spots you with them, you will be barred from entering into the lair.

He would be reluctant to teach you ninjutsu. It would take a LOT of pleading. He’s afraid that if he did teach you ninjutsu, you would soon be strong enough to knock him down and run away from him.

Be careful when you are joking and don’t get too personal. He will snap at you (Just like nightmare).

He can be a total dick and can be quite frustrating, but there is this soft and gooey side of him that’ll literally melt you.

He would spoil you with affection, gifts and surprises. He would give you all of his attention at any time.

He can be romantic and learned many things to make you happy. He learned how to cook so he could make you your favorite food, got into fandoms that you like etc.

He is very good at consoling someone and if you feel down or upset, he would stay by your side and make you feel better.

He basically goes all heart eyes if he sees you being feisty. That is super attractive to him.

He likes to draw with you and that’s probably one of his favorite things to do with you.

He LOVES to cuddle and will cuddle you for hours!

He also finds enjoyment when he’s reading for you.

Will thoroughly enjoy exploring abandoned places with you.

He knows how to take care of someone, physically and mentally. He has 3 brothers and he has taken care of them multiple times. If you are hurt in any way, be prepared to be treated like a 4-year-old that is being treated by an overprotective mother.

He would even hesitate to hurt or kill anyone who hurts you. But can understand if it was caused by accident and not on purpose.

He will come with you in a heartbeat if you ask him if he could come along. Like, you wouldn’t even wanna ask him sometimes, he would grab your arm and say “let’s go!”

He will let you babysit “Spike” before he got mutated. He’ll let you babysit Chompy as well.

He is basically a 50-50. 50% soft and cuddly boyfriend and 50% I’m gonna chain you up and make you mine type.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

hello, i hope you’re doing fine! just read the new chapter of sith and came to banter about it again!!

- i’ve always wondered how colt felt about his little brother being a warrior candidate and i’m so glad you chose to touch on it in this chapter! of course, he would be upset but i also find myself thinking like was he angry or maybe disappointed in marley? because i’m pretty sure that in the first place he thought that him becoming a candidate would be enough to fix his family’s reputation and when he found out that that wasn’t the case, he must’ve been disappointed. it’s so sad to think that the moment colt was born, he kind of became the “savior” of the family and even though i’m sure that his parents love him and everything, they probably saw him as some kind of “pawn” to save themselves. i can imagine colt not wanting the same fate for his baby brother but not being able to do anything about it must be infuriating as hell. i’m sorry i just can’t help but feel awful about colt’s position in his parents’ lives🥲

- i truly enjoyed some heartwarming moments with y/n’s parents in this chapter, it was just so sweet🥺🥺 and we can now see that her mom is starting to get used to colt’s presence in her life, hopefully she’ll warm up to him a bit more!

- i must admit that nursery rhyme was so clever on your part. anyone who deals with some sort of anxiety knows the urgency to indulge into something familiar. y/n having a comfort rhythm hits too close to home.

- MY FAVORITE PART in the entire chapter was the banter between our fav trio😭 I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH. when they were talking about falco having a crush on gabi and friedrich coughing knowingly?? i died, that was soooooo funny. following that colt talking about cordelia and friedrich almost choking?? sooooo funny😭 and when y/n said that she would prefer spending her days with two of them even if she were a queen… i melted. i just want to protect them at all costs

- i absolutely loved your descriptions of the little warrior candidates, they were PERFECT. i was smiling the whole time i was reading that part. “a devilish grin compared to falco’s angelic frown” is a perfect way to describe gabi! gabi and falco truly compliment each other because they are literally the opposite. why are the grice boys so sweet😭 y/n mistaking gabi for alice was so fucking sad… my mood went down immediately after reading that.

to be honest, this was one of my favorite recent chapters! after the athyaen war, everything got a bit darker and i’m sure that it’s going to get even more darker, and i’m not complaining! but i just loved reading some light stuff and y/n being with her favorite people in the world and showing affection🥰 i also must say that i love your writing. the dialogues, the descriptions… it’s easy to read but descriptive when necessary. another amazing chapter🥰

HII!! I’m doing well. Or at least as well as I can considering it’s winter and I hate the cold 😭 but I love banter so I was happy to get another long ask :)

- colt’s relationship with his family always makes me so sad because like he really has had no other choice and he’s just so kind that he doesn’t even complain, he genuinely wants to save them (esp falco) and the fact that he can’t protect falco from being a candidate while knowing what the candidates go through is so hard for him. and i agree with what you said about his parents!! i actually think it was mentioned somewhere in the first chapter of sith let me find it

“This isn’t news to them. They’ve always been more hands-off with me; I’m their sacrificial lamb, remember? Falco’s the one they really care about; though, to be fair, it’s almost impossible to not care about Falco. Anyways, as I was saying, they’ve had years to prepare for this day. I promise you, they’re not upset about any of this,” he said.

that was when they were waiting to hear about who got into the candidacy program and y/n was telling her father to stop crying lol simpler times 😢 but yes although colt’s parents don’t dislike him and certainly love him, they’ve always kind of been resigned to his eventual death so they were just never as close with him as y/n’s parents are with her if that makes sense.

- speaking of her parents, i’m glad you like them!! i didn’t want to go the typical dead/absent parent route that’s so common in fics, but i wanted them to be realistic, too. i try to make them have typical human reactions to things like their daughter not coming home when she said she would, although at the same time, y/n isn’t exactly a typical kid, she’s a highly trained soldier, which is hard for her parents to balance. honestly i feel so bad for them because they deserve better…then again who doesn’t in this fic HAHAHA

- thank you!! i wanted to show that she’s doing her best to find coping mechanisms, and even if they’re not foolproof, they help at least a little. slowly but surely she’s finding a new sort of normal which is super important i think. this arc (which is actually almost finished!) and the next are mostly about the trio recovering from athyae so there’ll be a lot of finding little things that help them get through each day. i think a lot of the time the lasting impacts of things like war are glossed over in fiction and for some stories it works but ship in the harbor is one where i really want to show the effects it has on the characters! although there’s a lot of plot in the story, it’s also very internal/character focused, so i thought it didn’t make sense for y/n to do what she did in athyae and just bounce back immediately and be perfectly fine yk?? which is why there’s literally going to be ten chapters of just her mental state improving (amongst other things ofc)

- HAHAHA I MISSED THE TRIO TBH!! the three of them haven’t been together for a while, and the last time was on the train from athyae to liberio so y/n was in a VERY different headspace — it was immediately after her mirror-destroying mental breakdown LMAOO so there was minimal room for banter there. but they’re back with a vengeance now and thank goodness 😭 FRIEDRICH IS GENUINELY MY FAV CHARACTER EVER i think the way he’s the biggest y/n x colt shipper while simultaneously being totally in love with y/n is the funniest thing. the scenes with him and colt together are so much fun to write because they feed off of each other in such a strange way. honestly i think that the only time the boys act their ages is when they’re together which is so personal to me 😩 they really are best friends!! AND THEN YOU ADD IN Y/N AND IT’S JUST EVERY EMOTION POSSIBLE UGH I LOVE THEM TOO (but that won’t stop me from making them suffer)

- the little warrior candidates are so cute tbh!! i had a lot of fun describing them. even just through their looks i think you can tell a lot about their personalities! and i realized the alice/gabi parallels while writing and it made me so upset 😐 and the way alice was always jealous of y/n and now gabi idolizes her for being the “hero of athyae”…also the way y/n literally hates how she was in athyae and now she’s famous for it KILLS ME like no one is ever going to let her forget about it because they all think it’s so badass that she literally took down an entire country. meanwhile every time someone mentions athyae she gets actual flashbacks and has to leave 😭

- THE GRICES ARE THE SWEETEST BOYS EVER i think it was so funny when gabi was kind of shit talking colt and he was just like 😊 the entire time. canonically (i think it was mentioned as a fun fact at some point? which i just realized i didn’t do one for this chapter lol rip) all three of the trio are good with children but i think colt LIKES kids the most. he’d be such a good father one day ugh what a shame isayama killed him off 😒 keeping it undercover whether i’ll go the canon route w him or not 😁

this chapter felt like a breath of fresh air after everything w athyae and it was nice to write! i think that the impact of the more angsty/darker scenes is lessened when there’s no happiness to balance it out. for example — to me at least — hadrian and y/n’s ending was so much worse because we saw how happy she was with the amatas. that’s why i like showing occasional moments of happiness and lightheartedness with the trio!! it just makes it hurt more to read while knowing what’s to come 😈 and yes sith will get dark again soon (about six chapters from now, so the remaining chapter of this arc and then all of the next arc), but for now it should be pretty relaxing — more chapters like this one! because we all need time to decompress and recover from the entire defeat of athyae arc. also there just really won’t be many more “downtime” chapters after the next arc so i’m putting it all in now so that i don’t feel as bad about pretty much solely causing the trio trauma for like 65 chapters straight

AHH i’m so happy to hear you like my writing style! sith has been my longest ongoing story so it’s seen a huge evolution in my style, and i’m sure as i continue to write it will continue to evolve (we’re only about a quarter of the way through the story so it’ll definitely be some time before it’s finished which leaves plenty of room for development and improvement) the difference between the beginning and latest/ending chapters of the story will only grow, but i’m pretty happy with my style atm. i don’t like sounding pretentious or poetic for the sake of sounding poetic if that makes sense?? like i think some writers focus more on how pretty a sentence sounds instead of how functional it is, and although i do love pretty sentences, i think it’s important to also have them make sense and be comprehensible. i also love writing dialogue haha i think that’s what i get complimented on the most!! it’s just very fun for me to imagine entire conversations in my head…tbh sometimes writing dialogue feels more like i’m just transcribing what the characters are saying more than i am making something entirely knew up as weird as that sounds HAHA. but i’m glad you liked the chapter and thank you for reading!!

[sargeant-bxrnes]

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

warnings: rafe being… rafe. drug mention & consumption, cursing, toxic relationship, sexual situations/implications, mental health issues. ANGST.

[AN: this is the first thing i’ve written, ever, so my apologies if it’s not flawless ; also, english is not my first language, that’s a warning on its own]

my requests are open btw

click for my master list

word count: 4.4K

Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

“Hey,” you said in a soft tone as soon as Rafe picked up the phone, you were laying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hey princess,” his tone was calm, but his voice was rough and raspy all together.

“How you doing?” you asked him, even though you’d seen him last night, up close.

“I’m doing great,” he replied in a surprisingly cheerful tone, which is weird this early in the morning. Rafe is not a morning person. “You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you confirmed with a sigh. “Guess I have you to thank for that.”

“My pleasure.” he replied cockily, and even though you couldn’t see him, you could practically hear his proud smirk.

“So, what’s the plan today?” you asked in a casual tone, fidgeting with the edge of Rafe’s shirt, the one you wore to sleep.

“Uh, what do you mean?” he asked in a distracted tone, he sniffed subtly and coughed.

You knew what that meant, but still, you hoped it wasn’t what you deep down knew it was.

“Yeah, I mean—“ you said and made a brief pause. “Wanna go to the club? Maybe we can take a ride on the boat, you know, with food, alcohol... just us.”

“Can’t, I’m busy.” he said after a few seconds, if you didn’t know him better and his occasional mood swings, you would’ve said his tone was harsh.

"Really?" you asked in a soft tone, trying to disguise your disappointment with interest. "But I thought we were going out together today."

"Y/N, just because I'm your boyfriend it doesn't mean I have to be with you all the fucking time."

Okay, now he was definitely angry, you thought you said the right thing, but it still made him angry.

"Rafe-"

"No, Y/N. I have a life of my own, you know? Things to do besides you."

“That’s okay Rafe, I get it,” You said calmly, nodding your head softly. “Have fun today.”

Now you clearly heard the sound of him sniffing something and the sigh that left his lips after, and Barry’s voice in the background. “Don’t play the victim card on me, that’s not gonna work. I deserve to have some time off.”

“I didn’t,” you said softly. “And it’s okay baby, you’re right, you deserve to have some fun.”

“See? No need to be so fucking dramatic,” he said, his voice and words slurring. You? Dramatic? It was all him. “But don’t worry princess, I’ll drop by tonight and fuck the attitude out of you, yeah? That way I’m not just doing things with you, I’m doing you.”

And with such a vulgar comment and a harsh tone, Rafe hung up on you, leaving you completely dumbfounded and filled with incredulity.

What you did know for a fact, is that he would keep up his word. And judging by his tone of voice and how annoyed he was, you could already imagine the ache between your legs.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you started hooking up with Rafe, and what you were committing to when you agreed to be his girlfriend.

You know that man carries more problems than he shows, he prefers to make himself appear as the Kook prince who lives a life of partying and money; hiding all the things that were going on in his head.

However, there were times when his attitude made you doubt yourself.

You couldn't help but think, ‘What if one day I don't manage to calm him down?’ ‘What if one day he realizes that there is someone prettier, or hotter, or wealthier out there?’

And Rafe would get angry if you doubted yourself. He would complain to you about it, saying you had no reason to be insecure about your looks; if you are absolutely gorgeous, or to feel insecure about your personality; if you were the most genuine person he'd ever met, and you could make him laugh until he forgot all his problems.

But what really made him furious was when you had doubts about the relationship itself, about whether or not he was capable of leaving you for someone else. He took those doubts personally, as if he wasn't trying hard enough to show you how much you mean to him.

When in reality; you were doubting yourself.

'Cause it's always one step forward

You were preparing dinner for you and Rafe, your family was out for the weekend, and Rafe had decided to spend it with you.

Your hair was tied up in a bun, your attire consisted of nothing but your underwear and a shirt that used to be Rafe's, but you took it so long ago that it's yours now.

Music from your shared playlist played in the background, as you danced absentmindedly with a spatula in hand, extremely calm and enjoying time with your boyfriend.

Rafe could do nothing but stare at you with admiration, you are literally the only good thing in his life; his little piece of heaven. You are everything to him.

As soon as Dark Red by Steve Lacy started playing, you let out an excited gasp. That song in particular is Rafe’s and yours, like… if you two had to choose a song to describe your relationship, it would be that one. It represented how you two did not always have good times, but your love prevailed.

Seeing you this happy, comfortable and at ease with him made Rafe's soul happy. All his life, he had done nothing else besides make people angry, disappointed, terrified. But with you, everything was different.

You were so focused on swaying your hips to the music and singing, that you didn't notice when Rafe stood up and walked over to where you were.

It wasn't until he stood behind you, chest to back and with his hands on your hips, that you realized he was closer. His head was bowed, you could feel his breathing close to your ear, so he was able to murmur in your ear the lyrics of the song:

“Only you, my girl, only you, babe,” he sang in your ear, his voice a soft whisper as he wrapped his arms around your body and started to sway with you. “Only you, darling, only you, babe.”

The gesture quickened your heart to unsuspected levels, you felt your knees weaken as you pressed closer to his body, appreciating his closeness as he pressed a kiss against your temple.

“You know I love you so much, right?” he mumbled in your ear, as you closed your eyes and relished his presence.

“I love you too, baby.”  you mumbled back, leaning your head against his chest, caressing one of his arms around your waist with your fingertips, and bringing your hand to his ash blond hair, stroking it softly.

and three steps back

“Why is he mad at you, again?” Topper asked you with a raised eyebrow, after witnessing Rafe utterly avoiding even looking at you when he walked into the room and then left without a word.

“Because I told Barry to not open the door if Rafe dropped by,” You replied with a shrug, closing your eyes and leaning back against the chair. “And when Rafe tried to lash out on him, Barry said it all had been ‘Mrs.Country Club’s’ request.”

“And he’s mad at you because you don’t want him to get all fucked up?” Topper questioned next, trying to understand the situation. But he never knew what the fuck you two were up to.

“Yes, but it’s Rafe, are you surprised?” you said with a heavy sigh.

“No, not really,” Topper admitted. “Honestly, I don’t know why you keep up with him, Y/N.”

“I ask myself that all the time…” you said with a deep sigh. “But I love him, so I guess that’s the answer.”

“And? I mean, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’ Y/N, but he’s…” Topper trailed off, apparently looking for the right word.

“I know exactly how he is, Topper, I don’t need you to remind me. I already think about that way too much.”

You and Topper had easily assumed that Rafe was no longer around, since he seemed to be making his best efforts to avoid you.

But Rafe was there, and he heard everything. He’d heard Topper giving you bad advice (or what he considered bad advice) And he heard you, having doubts about why you loved him or stood by him at all,and it made him want to lash out again.

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

[+18. Really]

“Leave me alone!” his voice boomed in the room, his brows furrowed and the veins in his neck were popping out.

“Rafe—“ you tried once again, approaching slowly in an attempt to place a hand on his shoulder, but he waved it away aggressively.

“Leave-me-alone,” he said, pausing in between each word to emphasize on how much he meant it. His eyes were bloodshot, his nose had specks of white dust, his lips were dry and his voice was coarse.

You weren’t entirely sure what you could say to get him to calm down. Or if there was anything at all you could do.

Normally, what upsets him the most is Ward. His own father. Rafe has spent his whole life trying to prove he's a good son, to make his father proud, and Ward never appreciates his efforts, only notices the bad, and ignores Rafe's clear calls for help, has since Rafe was 10 years old, so he certainly wasn't going to pay attention to him now that Rafe finally had a steady girlfriend, someone who had willingly decided to help.

95% of the time, you managed to talk to Rafe before he decided to resort to intoxication. Most of the time just seeing you helped him calm down, hearing your voice soothed him, and your lips, your skin, put him in a state of peace.

But the other 5% is when Rafe resorted to alcohol and, above all, drugs.

When Rafe is upset and decides to get high, he only manages to become unstable, erratic and yes, aggressive if not handled with care.

In those situations, the best thing you can do, putting yourself first, is to give him his space. Let him screw himself as much as he wants for that day, and help him deal with the consequences the next day, while you listen to him lament his attitude.

Rafe always said he would quit the vice; claiming you were all he needed to calm himself down, that you made him feel at peace. And above all, that you weren't slowly killing him; on the contrary, every minute he spent with you made him feel more alive.

However, for one reason or another, he always came back to it. Whether it was at a party, because Kelce suggested it, or, as is almost always the case, when he's upset with his father and needs quick relief.

And usually, this ‘quick relief’ ends up with Rafe fucked up, big time.

Once he was convinced that you wouldn't try to intervene again, Rafe went back to his business. He turned to the table, and since he already had the line ready, he simply leaned over and inhaled it, throwing his head back, running his hand through his hair and exhaling as he closed his eyes.

You exhaled heavily, shaking your head as you stared at your feet.  You knew he would struggle to quit, after all it is an addiction and he has to fight it, but sometimes you get the impression that Rafe doesn't want to quit, not really.

"Do you want to help me?" asked Rafe eventually, turning his head to look at you. You didn't know if it was a trick question or not, so you hesitated before answering. "Answer me."

"Yes, of course I want to, Rafe." you replied with your respective hesitations, wondering what he was up to.

"Come here then," he said, making a 'come hither’ sign with his fingers.

You took a hesitant step but stopped, your eyes narrowing as you analyzed Rafe, trying to determine his intentions.

He raised both eyebrows in your direction, in a silent question of whether or not you're going to go with him.

Eventually you walked over to where Rafe was, he smiled at you while biting his lip lightly. Without saying anything he approached you and kissed you; the drugs made his senses heighten, so the kiss was intense from the beginning.

So that's when it made sense to you what he wanted, he wanted you. Your most obvious thought is that he would use you to take out your frustration, put the drugs aside and, most likely, fuck you.

Your idea seemed to be the right one as soon as Rafe grabbed you by the waist, still with his lips on yours, left a little bite on your lip before pulling away; and without any problem, lifted you off the floor and placed you on the table.

It's something you wouldn't admit out loud,—mostly out of shame and guilt,—but this kind of sex with Rafe was the best, he's completely unrestrained, rough, full of stamina and teasing, and above all, possessive. And that, in combination with his attractiveness, always drove you crazy.

And honestly; if what he wanted was to fuck you to take out his frustration, you'd let him.

His kisses were hungry and his hands desperate, running all over your body without distinction, as if he didn't know where to start.

He parted his lips from yours, and left a kiss at the corner of them, on your jaw; and began to make a little trail of slow kisses down your neck. The feeling of his lips on your neck made you bite your lip as you wrapped your legs around his waist to feel him closer.

You slid your hand under his shirt, caressing his defined abs and the sides of his body gently with the tips of your fingers, as he left little bites on your neck. Your hands slowly moved up, intending to remove his shirt, but Rafe was quicker and brought his hands to the edge of your shirt, causing you to stop your movements to raise your arms, so he could remove your shirt with ease. And so he did.

He parted his lips from your neck and stared at you, the hunger in his eyes made you feel a fire in the pit of your stomach that only he could put out.

Desperately, your lips connected again as he settled between your legs. One of his hands traveled to your neck, and he wrapped his fingers around it, pressing lightly to the sides. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head; though he couldn't see it.

With just enough strength, Rafe used the grip he had on your neck to push you down onto the table, so that you were lying on top of it.

As soon as he leaned over the table, you could feel his breath over abdomen, so you bit your lip in anticipation for what was to come.

He began to leave slow, wet kisses on your abdomen, making a slow trail to the edge of your shorts. Your automatic reaction was to close your eyes and put a hand in his hair, stroking it gently.

What you didn’t know is that the fact that you closed your eyes had given Rafe an opportunity he couldn't miss. Without you noticing, he slid a hand to the side of the table, where the small bag of white powder was.

To conceal his actions, he unbuttoned your shorts, and returned his lips to the beginning of your abdomen for more time.

The little bite he left to distract your attention caused a gasp to escape your lips; and that sound almost caused him to change plans completely.

He did want to fuck you, don’t get him wrong. He even had a mental debate about whether to continue what he was doing or simply sink his head between your thighs and provoke more sounds like that.

But he wanted to try something first. He had always wanted to try it, but had never asked you, because he knew that you would most likely say no.

With ease, he slid your shorts down your legs; so that they stayed at your ankles or fell to the floor; he didn't care. One of his hands slid into your underwear with ease, his fingers going straight to where he knew you needed him the most.

Trusting that you would not open your eyes, carefully, he put the white substance on your body, so delicately you didn’t notice. He began to prepare to inhale, while biting his lip in reaction to the sinful sounds that left your lips.

And obviously, without warning, Rafe inhaled a line from your thigh.

And all your sounds stopped, your eyes opened and your expression was filled with surprise, the bad kind.

You couldn't believe what Rafe had just done, you felt like an idiot for falling into the trap.

You also had to bite your lip to keep from letting out a moan in reaction to what his fingers were doing in between your legs, but your pride forbade it.

But more than anything else, you were outraged.

“Rafe, you did not just—“

“It felt nice, yeah?” Rafe’s voice was hoarse, you could feel his breath over your skin, as he left little kisses around. “After all, I did feel you clench around my fingers.”

His dirty words, hoarse voice, and close proximity to your body, not to mention his fingers deep inside you, caused you to let out a soft moan, causing Rafe to smirk in what he thought was victory.

But you wouldn't let him win this little game.

Although you really didn't want to, you grabbed his hand by the wrist and pulled him away, your legs trembling slightly at the sudden lack of anything between them.

Rafe's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as soon as you pushed him away from you and got off the table, lifting your shorts off the floor and putting them back on without a word.

"What are you doing?"

You didn't answer, as you searched for  your shirt, feeling his heavy gaze on your body.

"Y/N, where do you think you're going?"

“I’m leaving you alone as you asked me to, remember?” you said in irony. “Before you sniffed a line off me after I begged you to quit that shit?”

“Oh, so now you’re playing the victim?” his voice rose. “Don't- Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have let me fuck you less than a minute ago!”

"Yes I would have let you, to distract you from that shit!" you admitted to him, failing to control your anger. "I said I wanted to help you, to distract you, to give you something different to do. Not that I'd give you another place to snort lines from!"

Rafe knew you were right, of course he did.

You had spent months after months trying to get him to quit, you had offered him countless hours of your days to give him something new to do, distractions, attention and love. And this is how he had decided to pay you back?

But Rafe was angry too, very. You had interrupted him, you were yelling at him; and you had left him so hard, that it would start to hurt unless he did something about it.

“Fine, then get the fuck out of here.” Rafe spat, his anger clearly getting the best of him.

Your eyes widened at that, you hadn't expected him to react like that.

Your best case scenario would be that your attitude would piss him off, yes, but that he would retaliate by getting you back to the table and showing you everything you were missing.

Instead, he simply took your word for it and told you to get out of the room.

“What?”

“You heard me, get out.”

“Rafe—“

“You uh, you have three options, yeah? You let me fuck you over that table and do whatever I want, you get out of here, or I’ll get you out of here.”

The first offer was tempting, it really was, but you wouldn’t allow him to talk to you like that. Before anything, came respect and dignity, and no matter how much you wanted him to fuck you silly, you were too angry and disappointed at him to let it slip.

Blinking repeatedly to chase away the tears from your eyes, you grabbed your phone from the other end of the table, your jacket from Rafe's bed, and walked out of there without another word as you heard him calling your name.

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your relationship with Rafe was unique.

Not because of the circumstances in which it was created. A one-night-stand that turned into something casual, that was formalized after a dinner.

If not for Rafe.

You loved him, no doubt about it. You would give anything to see him happy and at peace, at peace with himself and succeeding in his life.

Rafe would do anything for you, really, anything. No matter how risky, demanding or dangerous, he would do anything for you.

He would die and kill for you.

But that surely didn’t mean it was an easy relationship, hell no. In fact, the willingness both of you had to do anything for each other sometimes made things too complicated; for at times it seemed that not a single rational thought crossed your minds.

And yes, Rafe’s addiction was a big issue. Whenever he was too high, or going through withdrawals, he wasn’t the Rafe you knew or had grown to love, it was another side of him you wanted to help get rid off. And the process wasn’t easy.

While trying to get clean; there was no way to know how he’d behave. He could either get clingy and want you around at all times to calm himself down, or he’d be in a very bad mood all the time, constantly snapping at you and raising his voice.

So there were days where he’d walk you to the door of your house and leave you there with a tender kiss and a smile.

Or days when you’d get out of his truck without a word, with tears streaming down your cheeks while he kept yelling for probably the stupidest thing.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

'It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Rafe knew he wasn’t okay. After all, he had begged his father for help, begged for anything that would get those thoughts to stop, but his father hadn’t listened, had only told him to ‘man up.’

You knew he wasn’t okay. Which is why you wanted to help him, to offer the support no one else had bothered to give him before he met you.

Whether he wanted it or not, those thoughts were still there. Being with you made them easier to ignore, but it’s not like they vanished entirely. He still had some ideas that made his own skin crawl.

And sometimes, you’d say or do the wrong thing and trigger those thoughts. And things got bad again for him.

Rafe knew you wanted nothing but to help him get better and be the best version of himself, and he really wanted to give you that. To change and make an effort. Not only for himself but for you. He wanted to be a man worthy of your love.

But it was hard to be anywhere near decent when you two went out and a guy stared at you for longer than Rafe’s limits allowed, or when guys tried to hit on you, when his friends got a little bit too close for his comfort.

Whenever he got jealous, he turned into a walking, talking ticking bomb. Anything could, and would set him off.

It wasn’t your fault, not really, but most of the time you felt it was. You knew Rafe dealt with a lot of insecurities already, of not being a nice person, not being good enough and so many other things. And you hated being one of the factors that caused his insecurities to arise.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

It was a complicated relationship, and it would probably never stop being complicated because both of you are complex people, plus there are other factors that affect the relationship.

But that didn't mean either of you would stop fighting to keep it alive. Neither would let the other go.

Rafe utterly refused to ever let you go. He loved you as he had never loved anyone, as he never thought himself capable of loving with that twisted heart of his.

You are, without exception, the best thing in his life, the best thing that ever happened to him. And you being in his heart was slowly turning him into who he had wanted to be during all those years of loneliness.

And you would never let him go, because you loved him with all your heart, soul and nerve of your body. And because you know that no one will ever love you like him. With so much passion, intensity, honesty and purity.

Because every feeling Rafe expressed with you was true; he was himself with you. And you didn't want to let him go.

Even if the two of you went one step forward, and three steps back, that single step would be longer than any step life makes you take backwards.

[tobesolonely]

grammy night

A/n: like most of you, watching harry perform WS did something to me. i rushed to my computer to write this IMMEDIATELY... not proofread but i hope u all enjoy nonetheless! Thanks @nationalharryleague​ for looking this over and hyping me up.

summary: y/n wants to show her grammy winning boyfriend just how proud she is of him💕

warnings: smut, mentions of the pandemic!

word count: ~3k

my ko-fi! thank you :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You decided that “Harry Styles, Grammy-nominated artist!” had a lovely ring to it.

Harry knew how proud you were of him; you had been making it known to him in the days leading up to his big night. You fretted over him more than you usually did, showered him in an obnoxious amount of compliments, and were the most intimate you’d ever been with him–– but who was he to complain? 

Obviously, he knew you could care less whether he won or lost, and quite frankly, he didn’t care either. Just being able to perform at the Grammy’s, much less open it, was the opportunity of a lifetime. The fact that he was hitting such a big professional milestone with you by his side just made it that much better. You were both buzzing.

It had been months since Harry had performed. You knew how much he missed being in front of a live audience and hearing people scream his name, conceited as he was. He had been spending so much time rehearsing the one song he was performing, wanting it to be absolutely perfect. Your boyfriend was a perfectionist, after all! If he was going to do something, he either did it one hundred and ten percent, or he didn’t do it at all.

Although you were used to your boyfriend’s pre-performance jitters, it still wasn’t an easy sight to see. He would pace so much that beads of sweat would collect in his hairline; he’d shake, tremble, and have to be reminded to breathe. You’d think after ten years of doing this he would be a pro, but he was only human, after all. 

“Been so long since I performed in front of people,” Harry muttered to you, examining his reflection in his make-shift dressing room. “‘M nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous,” you reply, coming up behind him to rub his shoulders. He shoots you a look in the mirror. “I know it’s easier said than done but you have nothing to worry about. It’s “Watermelon Sugar” honey–– you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’ve performed this one dozens of times.”

“Things are jus’ so different now,” his voice drops an octave. “What if people are tired of the song?”

“I don’t think people are tired of the song.”

“It played on the radio a lot. Came out in 2019––”

“...And you’ve been busy with other things. No one’s gonna be upset that you haven’t released new music in the middle of a pandemic H, I promise you.”

Harry’s gaze meets yours again in the mirror briefly before he tilts his head back, silently asking for a kiss. You plant one on his lips before grabbing a tissue from a small table beside him, dabbing at his hairline.

“Stop sweating everything off, Harry,” you playfully scold your boyfriend. “Make-up artist has already been by to touch you up three times already, she’s probably running out of product.”

Your boyfriend lightly chuckles at this, causing you to smile. “I’ll just tell my body to cut it out. How’s tha’ sound?”

“Sounds good,” you reply, leaning down to kiss his nose. “You alright?”

You notice Harry deeply inhale. “I think so. How do I look?”

“Like a Grammy-nominated, soon-to-be Grammy-winning, artist.” 

Harry’s skin flushes. “Stop it…” The sound of three short knocks on the door of his dressing room causes panic to flood his features.

“Hey, look at me,” you gently grab your boyfriend’s chin, turning his gaze up towards yours. “It’s my job to believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself. If you get nervous just know I’ll be sitting as close to the stage as they’ll let me.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Now, go make me proud.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Breathe me in, breathe me out…”

If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought Harry’s nerves in his dressing room were all theatrics. He was so in his element on stage, you were one hundred percent sure no one knew he was so nervous twenty minutes prior that he was turning green. He kept looking out into the small crowd, searching for you, and flashing you a dimpled grin once he did. 

You were enjoying watching him prance around the stage while trying to keep up with the band on stage, looking a bit too proud of himself when he was able to stay on the beat while rhythmically snapping his hips along to the song. As the song came to an end and the dimmed lights started coming back on, you were led back to Harry’s dressing room by one of his guards as you heard the next performer being introduced.

“How did I do?” Harry asks loudly, adrenaline still coursing through his veins.

His voice causes you to jump. “You scared the shit out of me! How’d you get off stage so quickly?”

Harry grabs your arm and pulls you off the couch, wrapping you in a tight, sweaty hug. “Don’t know. I basically ran to ya.”

“You did incredibly,” you tell him, lips ghosting over his. “Just like I knew you would. I don’t wanna say you were nervous for nothing, but you kinda were.”

“Don’t wanna hear your teasin’.”

“Did you see how everyone was looking at you?”

“I only saw how you were lookin’ at me. I was only lookin’ at you.”

Your body heats up at Harry’s admission, causing you to look away. “You’re so cheesy, H.”

“I think I would’ve been about fifty times more nervous if you weren’t here with me,” he presses his nose against yours. “Thank you for bein’ here, Y/N. You make this whole thing so much more doable.” Harry places one… two… three wet kisses to your cheek before pulling away, walking back over to close the door he left open during his excitement to re-join you.

“Changing?”

“Yeah,” Harry turns to look at you as he pulls off his jacket. The sight of his bare chest causes you to thickly swallow. “‘M gonna put what I was wearin’ on the red carpet back on. We’re gonna move outside.”

You simply hum in response to what Harry said, sitting back on the couch to scroll through your phone as you wait for him to finish changing. Everyone was congratulating Harry on his performance and wishing him luck on his nominations. You read all the good luck texts for him that were sent to you out loud, watching as his smile grows bigger and bigger from all the love he was being showered in.

After helping Harry powder his T-zone you let him lead you out of the small room and out into an area with spaced-out circular tables, most of them with just two or three seats at them. The Grammy’s in the middle of a pandemic was unlike anything you had ever seen before, and you were pleasantly surprised at how smoothly things were running. Jeff is already sat at the table when you and Harry join him and you can visibly see him let out the breath he was holding.

“Your boyfriend ran off stage so quickly I thought I was gonna have to set up a search party to find him,” Jeff tells you, a slight hint of annoyance present in his voice. He then turns to Harry and says, “Fix your mask, please.”

“It is fixed,” Harry grumbles but adjusts it nonetheless, causing you to giggle. 

Even though it was obvious your boyfriend was enjoying himself, you could still tell he was extremely nervous the closer it became to announcing the winner of the category he was nominated in. His grip on your thigh kept growing tighter and tighter and although you didn’t hate it, you worried he might cut off your circulation soon if he didn’t let go of you soon.

“H, take a deep breath,” you lean over to whisper in his ear. “You’re gonna make my thigh fall off.”

“Sorry, love,” if you could see his mouth under his mask, you’d see him biting his plump lips. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this nervous in my fuckin’ life.”

“Never?”

“Have I?”

“I dunno. I’m asking you.”

You see Harry’s eyes crinkle. “Maybe when I asked you out for the first time.”

“You are seriously so cheesy.”

Harry doesn’t respond, just takes your hand in his and directs his attention back to the stage. His palm is sweaty in yours but you don’t release his grip on your hand, wanting to offer him as much comfort as you possibly could.

When they start naming the nominees for Best Pop Solo Performance, you literally have to remind Harry to control his breathing. Although he won’t be upset if he doesn’t win, you know it would still mean quite a bit to him if he did.

“And the winner for Best Pop Solo Performance is… Harry Styles!”

Your mouth falls open in shock as you turn to fully face your boyfriend who was looking down at your intertwined hands, eyes wide in surprise. He genuinely wasn’t expecting to win and that made this victory that much sweeter. 

“Harry!” You yell to be heard above the cheers and applause of his colleagues in the crowd. Jeff stands and grabs Harry’s hand, pulling him out of his seat and into a tight hug. You stand up and clap loudly in admiration for your boyfriend, willing the tears not to fall from your eyes. He removes himself from Jeff and pulls you into him, your head pressed against his chest.

“I won a fuckin’ Grammy!” Harry shouts.

“I know!” You shout back, probably more excited than he was. “Get up there!”

Your boyfriend quickly removes his mask and hands it to you before hurrying to the makeshift stage, hugging the presenter before touching his Grammy in awe. He picks it up and then slowly sets it back down, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“To everyone who made this record with me, thank you so much…” 

You can’t stop the few tears that spill over your waterline–– you were so unbelievably proud of him. You’re not even paying attention to his acceptance speech as you’re too preoccupied with looking at everyone staring at your boyfriend in admiration. 

“Lastly, I want to thank my girlfriend who’s sitting right there next to my manager, Jeffrey. She’s my number one fan, always believes in me when I don’t believe in myself,” he looks down at his shoes bashfully. “Wouldn’t be half the man I am today if it weren’t for her. This is our Grammy, love.”

You blow kisses to your boyfriend, ignoring the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you. As far as you were concerned, you and Harry were the only two people around at that moment. Your heart couldn’t have been any more full.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

To absolutely no one's surprise, you and Harry couldn’t keep your hands off each other for the remainder of the night. You were relieved there were no after parties being held that Harry would be expected to attend due to the pandemic because you could not get him alone fast enough.

“Slow down, Y/N,” Harry sets his Grammy on the foyer table as he kicks off his shoes. “Just us, innit? We’ve got all night, haven’t we?”

“I’m just so proud,” you tell him breathlessly, sucking on the underside of his jaw. “Let me show you.”

“You have been showin’ me. A lot, actually,” Harry leans his head back and closes his eyes in pleasure as you lick tantalizingly slow against his veiny neck. “Guess one more time wouldn’t hurt, though.”

“Do you want me to blow you or not?”

“Oh, so that’s what’s gonna happen here?”

“If you’re gonna be annoying, then no.”

“Kiiiding,” Harry rolls his eyes, pressing a gentle kiss to your nose. “C’mon, let me get you upstairs.”

”You’re the one that won a Grammy, not me,” you remind him. “Let me make you feel good.”

Harry lets out a quiet hum, guiding you towards the couch. “Exactly–– I’m the winner. Doesn’t that mean I should get what I want tonight?” He falls backward onto the couch, pulling you atop his lap. His hand roams down the front of your dress and he squeezes your breasts roughly, clearly delighted that you decided to forgo a bra tonight.

“I suppose,” you answer, biting back a moan. 

“You suppose? Not in the mood for it tonight?” He starts to retract his hand but you grab his wrist, stopping him.

“I am!” You don’t even try to hide how desperate you are for your boyfriend.

“Gonna let me taste you, hmm?” As Harry asks his question he slowly slides off the couch and onto his knees in front of you, bunching your dress up around your hips. He leans in close to your already dripping center and inhales deeply, a blissed-out look on his face. “Smell fuckin’ incredible. I gotta taste ya.”

You spread your legs wider without even thinking about it, almost as if it’s on instinct. Harry easily moves your underwear to the side and immediately connects his lips with your clit, not giving you time to adjust to the sensation before he’s just going at it.

“Oh, Harry…”

“Rings on or off?” His voice is muffled due to your thighs being clamped around his head, but you can still understand what he’s saying.

“On!”

Harry chuckles against your cunt before sliding his index finger in with ease, loving the way you immediately clenched around the digit. “Y’like that, lovie? Wanna take another one?”

“Please.” Your boyfriend already has you breathless despite the fact that he was just getting started.

Harry slips his middle finger into you along with his index finger and starts curling it up in the way he knew you liked, trying his hardest to stimulate your g-spot. He looks extremely focused; leave it to Harry to make a night that was supposed to be all about him, not.

“S’fuckin’ tight,” he says, more so to himself. “You’d think with all the shags we’ve been ‘avin lately you’d be used to my fingers by now.”

You let out a loud groan at your boyfriend’s dirty talk. He knew that it was one of your biggest kinks so he usually overdid it just a tad bit. It’s not like you were complaining, though.

“Guess that means you’re not fuckin’ me hard enough, huh?”

Harry stops his movements and looks up at you through slightly hooded eyes, an amused (but not really) look on his face. “Not fuckin’ you hard enough? Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

You can tell by the tone of Harry’s voice that he has it out for you now, but there’s no use in recanting your statement. He was about to make sweet, primal, love to you and god were you ready. Harry goes back to mercilessly fucking into you with his thick fingers, speeding up or slowing down his pace based on how you clench around him.

”Fuck, H.”

“Feels nice?” He goes from moving his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion to a scissoring motion which feels just as good if not better.

“Yeah, really nice,” your fingers are tangled in Harry’s hair and you know he’ll give you hell later for getting it all knotted. “I’m close.”

“Already? Haven’t even properly fucked you yet,” Harry removes his fingers from you aching cunt agonizingly slow, wiping them on his expensive Gucci trousers. “Guess I’ll jus’ have to fix that, yeah?”

“I guess so.”

“You’ve got a mouth on you tonight, pet. Is that really any way to treat your Grammy-winning boyfriend-”

“Harry, come off it!” You exclaim, letting out a loud laugh as you watch him stand up and unbutton his pants. “You’re insufferable, I swear.”

Harry shoots you one of his blindingly bright smiles, wiggling his eyebrows as his pants pool around his feet. “Hey, ‘m just statin’ facts.”

He collapses onto the couch and pats his lap, giving his leaking cock two quick tugs. “Ride me.”

“Just because you won a Grammy doesn’t mean you don’t have to ask nicely anymore.”

“Y/N, my beautiful, dazzling, elegant girlfriend, will you please do me the honors of riding––”

“Why do you make everything so weird?” You groan as Harry laughs and pulls you into his lap with ease, wincing when your thigh brushes against his cock. Wordlessly, he places his hands on your hips and helps you sink down onto him, taking his lip in between his teeth to keep from yelling out.

”Fuck me…”

“I’m about to,” you reply, resting your head on his shoulder as you adjust to his size. His hands roam the expanse of your back as he waits for you to get used to the feeling on him, wanting to feel every part of your body all at once. Without warning, you begin sluggishly rolling your hips. You were in no rush anymore; you had him inside of you, and that was all you wanted from the start.

“S’that all you got in ya?” His tone is cheeky, almost mocking. “I think you can give me more than tha’.”

“I dunno if I can.”

“Why’s that?” Harry bucks his hips upward slightly causing you to let out a loud gasp.

“I just want you to fuck me. I don’t wanna do any work.”

At this, Harry quickly flips you over so your sweaty body is now below his. You moan at the sensation the new angle immediately brought you. “Want me on top like this? This is how you wanna have me, angel?”

You nod. 

“Answer me.”

“Yes, Harry,” your eyes squeeze shut as Harry begins quickly thrusting into you. “God, yes. That feels amazing.”

“Yeah? Do you like it when I fuck you like this?” Harry reaches his hand down to thumb at you clit and raises an eyebrow while awaiting your answer.

“God,” you grab onto your breasts to prevent them from bouncing around as Harry’s thrusting into you but he rips your hand away.

“Wanna see ‘em.”

“Right there,” you moan, no longer trying to bite back your sounds of pleasure. Between Harry eating you out, fingering you, and now fucking you harder than he has in ages, you were a few sloppy thrusts away from coming all over his cock. “I’m gonna cum–”

“...Already?”

You know he’s teasing but you still reach between your sweaty bodies to swat at his bare chest. “Don’t tease!”

“‘M messin’ with ya, puppy,” Harry pushes his curls out of his eyes. “I’m almost there- you first. Cum for me, Y/N.”

Harry doesn’t have to tell you twice. You spasm around his cock as soon as he tells you to, lifting your hips up to meet him as you could tell he was growing tired. Harry pulls out moments later, muttering a quick, “Where do you want it?” before finishing on your chest.

The silence that fills the room is comforting but of course, it’s cut short by your pest of a boyfriend.

“If that's what I got just for winning one Grammy, what would I get if I won the others?”

[the-velvet-worm]

In defense of Amber...

Honestly, I’m really glad I had absolutely zero contact with the Invincible fandom outside of little interactions on this site while season one was airing, because that way I got to develop my own opinions of the characters outside what the general populace thinks. 

Which of course, leads me to my thoughts on Amber. From what little I know of her in the comics, there isn’t really much to know. She just kind of exists to be Mark’s filler girlfriend before he inevitably gets with Eve. In my head, she kind of functions as the Gwen Stacy precursor girlfriend, which makes it really hard for me as a fan of show Amber to not get too invested in her knowing she’s not the endgame romantic partner. 

But, I simply cannot help but love her. For me, it’s a combination of watching (mostly male) fans of the comics absolutely seethe with rage over the fact that her character exists and deviates so much from the source material, and the fact that I just really, really enjoy her. As much as I love Eve and the friendship that she’s developing with Mark, I find myself increasingly frustrated that the writers won’t just let Mark and Amber figure things out in a healthy way. 

On the one hand, I sympathize with Mark a lot. He never asked to have superpowers, and where the season ended, he doesn’t really have much of a choice to be a superhero or not. At this point, he’s too deeply invested and Earth would be too vulnerable if he didn’t step up and protect it. Every time he blew Amber off or showed up late to a previously scheduled date or hangout, the circumstances absolutely were out of his control. However, I have a huge issue with the amount he lied to her and the way he lied to her. Empty promises, lame cover stories, lies that she can clearly see right through. Amber is not stupid. She’s incredibly perceptive and intuitive. So for him to treat her like she’s oblivious and gullible comes off really shitty to me. Throughout the whole first season there were so many indicators of parallels between Mark/Amber and Nolan/Debbie that apparently went right over peoples’ heads. I’m not saying that anything Mark has said or done is even close to the same level as what Nolan has done, but lying is lying... and Mark wasn’t even doing it for a good reason. 

To me, if Mark had true feelings for Amber and had intentions to make a lasting bond with her, he would’ve confessed the truth after the first couple times he stood her up. That, or he would’ve just spared her all the disappointment and heartache he put her through, and told her, “Hey, I have a lot going on in my life right now, and I care about you, but there just isn’t any room in my life for a serious relationship at the present.” That way, he wouldn’t have been stringing her along as much as he did, and he would’ve been making a commitment, which is what he’s needed to do all along - make that choice to commit to her fully, sharing the truth with her, so that when he does inevitably stand her up again, she at least understands why he’s doing it, or make the choice to commit to being a superhero and all the things that that encompasses. Nothing that’s happening to Mark is fair - but it’s also not fair to Amber for him to string her along. 

When they had their confrontation in episode 7, I literally shot up from my seat and started cheering for her. There is nothing I love to see more than a woman who knows what she wants and how she wants to be treated making her feelings known to the person who isn’t considerate of them. She never once gave Mark a reason to doubt her or his ability to trust her in all the time they’ve known each other; that much is evident in how many times he promised he’d make things up to her, to make things right, and how many times she believed him and then found herself disappointed by him again. 

The thing I’m truthfully most perplexed about is the fact that so many people are salty that she didn’t tell him that she knew he was a superhero. I mean, like I said, she is not a stupid person. I can’t get behind those claiming that she was “gaslighting” him by not telling him that she knew and getting upset that he ditched them during the attack at the college. She gave him an opportunity to come clean, and he didn’t do that. She was testing him and his ability to be honest, and he failed. Could she have been more subtle about it when they had that altercation? I mean, I guess, but given everything she’d put up with up until that point? I cannot find it in myself to blame her for being absolutely done with Mark’s shit. 

So, I guess that brings me to my final thoughts on her character and Amber’s relationship with Mark in the season finale. I’m... wary. I really hope there’s some genuine payoff and good development with their relationship. I’ve liked them together from the beginning, even though I do also like Mark and Eve’s dynamic and the friendship they’re building. I just want Amber to be done justice and I hope now that everything is out in the open with her and Mark, they can find a way to be happy and make their relationship stronger. I just want good things for them both. 

[kthstrawberryshortcake]

BTS Reactions: Their S/O is Inexperienced Yet in Their Mid 20s

A/N: Here it is, my first post after my long-ass hiatus :) I hope you guys enjoy it! Requests are OPEN, please send some over! <3

PREMISE: OT7 reacting to finding out that their s/o is physically inexperienced relationship-wise / that this is their s/o’s first relationship despite them being in their mid 20s

A/N: I think a lot of people won't understand why this is a reaction in the first place (lol) but it can be super uncomfortable / awkward to have not dated / had any experience at that age, and a lot of people react badly to finding that out about someone. It's definitely an insecurity for a lot of people (myself included).

warning: mostly unedited due to my status as a trash gremlin

Jin:

Jin was completely shocked when he found out that you had never dated before him. Without thinking, he let this incredulity show on his face, total surprise evident and eyebrows raised. He was briefly silent in disbelief. You took that to mean that he thought you were weird now. You certainly felt that way.

Involuntarily, tears welled up in your eyes and Jin finally registered your distress. “What’s wrong?” he asked in concern, gently brushing away a stray tear from your cheek. You stared down at your feet, murmuring “You probably think I’m super strange now.” in explanation. Jin shook his head insistently, imploring that he didn’t find it weird at all.

“Honestly I was just shocked because I don’t know how you didn’t have people practically lining down the block to date you.” He explained, bringing a small smile back to your face. He pulled you into a hug, assuring you that he was in no hurry as long as he got to spend time with you.

Yoongi:

You and Yoongi were having a cozy night in and catching up on dramas. In the show you were presently watching, there was a character who was in her mid 20s that had never dated or even kissed anyone. Yoongi scoffed, rolling his eyes at this. “This is so unrealistic. Like come on, seriously? How do you get to be that age having never dated, having never even kissed somebody? It’s a completely absurd concept.”

You started to curl in on yourself, looking down with a tortured expression on your face. You were scared to explain the truth, fearful that if he knew he wouldn’t want you anymore. After a few minutes like that, Yoongi finally noticed your body language. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He inquired gently. How were you going to explain this to him?

“I, um… I guess I kind of freaked out when you were talking about the plot being unrealistic… You were so sure it couldn’t happen that you were annoyed by it. And then I really didn’t know how to tell you that the plot line we were discussing is literally the same as me. I’ve never dated before, you’re the first… And when you kissed me for the first time, that was my first kiss.” You took a deep breath, having exerted a lot of energy to force out your words.

Yoongi’s eyes lit up in recognition, then guilt crept onto his features. “Baby no, I’m so sorry, I completely overreacted about the show. I shouldn’t have said all that. I never wanted to hurt your feelings.” Yoongi admitted sincerely. He could tell that you felt a little bit better after that reassurance.

"It’s not a bad thing to do things on a different timeline. Plus, I got the honor of being your first boyfriend because of it. Maybe I’ll be your last.” He said the last part quietly, smirking softly before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Hoseok:

One of your favorite things about Hobi was his open and energetic attitude. He was truly one of the friendliest people you’d ever met, and it had felt easy to become close with him. You hadn’t been dating long at all, but the ease of conversation made it feel like you’d known each other for years.

On one particular day, the two of you were chatting over a dinner of your favorite delivery food. Hoseok was in the middle of a funny story about one of his exes, never one for unnecessary social boundaries or conventions, which was fine because you were laughing like crazy at the ridiculous tale he told. Then he continued, though, to tell (admittedly hilarious and absurd) stories about some of his other exes. You were entertained, certainly, though the number of people he seemed to have dated was a bit intimidating to you.

When he finally finished, he asked about *your* exes, and that was where the issue really started. You deflected, not wanting to directly bring attention to the fact that you had never dated before him. He became oddly persistent, seeming frustrated that you didn’t want to share. Not wanting him to misunderstand why you weren’t telling him what he wanted to know, you sucked it up and told him that he was your first boyfriend.

He was extremely surprised, but seemed to understand now why you had been reluctant to answer his questioning. He apologized for going on about exes for so long, and for inadvertently making you nervous. You assured him that it wasn’t a big deal, especially since the only important thing was your relationship moving forward, not either of your pasts.

Namjoon:

When you and Namjoon had only been together a few weeks (after a much longer friendship prior to your romantic relationship beginning), you were spending a nice chill evening at home, eating takeout and chatting. The two of you seemingly never ran out of things to talk about, one of the things you loved about being with him.

You don’t even remember what had led to it, but partway through the evening, he made some dumb joke about virgins and you visibly froze. You had yet to tell him about your lack of experience, and now you were terrified to. Was that really something he’d be bothered by? You hadn’t thought so, but his joking around about it made you doubt that. You did your best not to show your panic, paying unusually close attention to the glass of water you were drinking.

Unfortunately for you, your discomfort was completely apparent, and Namjoon asked you if you were okay. You nodded with a forced smile, making him frown, easily able to tell that you weren’t. You were afraid to tell him now because if it really bothered him that much, maybe it would disappoint him. Maybe it’d be a dealbreaker and he would lose interest in you. Unsure what to do, you stared at your hands, tense and worried. Namjoon lightly rested his hand on your shoulder, staring at you in concern. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” He implored gently.

At that moment you could no longer hold in your emotion, your fear, and tears began to leak from your eyes as you sniffled, starting to shake a bit as you cried. You let him pull you into his arms, holding you close as you tried to stop crying. After a few minutes of you trying to calm down, aided by Joon’s sweet behavior,  he asked again what was wrong, insisting that you could tell him anything. Your chest felt tight, but you didn’t see a way out of sharing what had upset you.

When you explained what had happened, Namjoon felt horrible, cursing himself for having said something so dumb. He told you that it was just a stupid joke, not something he actually cared about, apologizing for upsetting you with his thoughtlessness. He made sure to assure you that it wasn’t a problem for him in the least, and that he was in no rush. Afterwards the whole situation seemed a little silly, though you remembered how genuinely panicked you had been only minutes before and shuddered. But things were immediately made better, the two of you snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie.

Jimin:

Your blossoming relationship with Jimin made you feel like you were walking on a cloud. He was incredibly sweet and so much fun to spend time with, you felt very lucky to be dating him now. Just to be sweet, you had picked up food from his favorite lunch place and were bringing it to him at the BigHit building, where he was currently busy at work in a practice room.

When you arrived, the door to the room was open, but you heard voices coming from inside. You only paused when you heard Jimin say your name. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, and you were about to announce your presence until you realized what he was saying. “You know I really like her, man, I just feel so unsure right now. There has been like, zero physical affection up to this point, nothing beyond hugs and holding hands.” Jimin grumbled, sounding irritated.

Tae hummed in acknowledgement, pausing before inquiring “So obviously you’re frustrated, but what are you thinking about it?” Jimin sighed. “Maybe she just doesn’t like me as much as I like her. I don’t want to think anything bad about her, but what if she’s playing me? Like, she doesn’t have actual feelings for me.” He sounded very down, clearly hurt by the mere possibility. At that moment you were so shocked by what you were hearing, you accidentally dropped the bag of takeout, hurrying to pick it up, but you’d already drawn attention to yourself.

Jimin and Taehyung looked beyond shocked to see you, and you realized you were crying. Taehyung excused himself to let the two of you talk. You walked farther into the room, approaching the boys. “I thought we could have lunch… I know you don’t take enough breaks, and I really wanted to see you…” You admitted quietly, unable to actually make eye contact.

“I just feel so horrible, it’s all my fault that you don’t even know how crazy I am about you. I can’t believe…. I let you be unsure of how much I care about you. It’s my fault, I’m so sorry Jimin.” By the end of what you were saying, you were holding back full sobs. Seeing how distressed you were, Jimin wasted no time in rushing to you and pulling you into his arms, hugging you close.

When you’d finally calmed down and stopped crying, you thought you owed him an explanation. “The lack of physical affection isn’t because I don’t like you. I like you more than I’ve ever liked anybody. I’ve just… never done anything. I haven’t even been in a relationship before now, it’s all new to me.” You admitted, feeling Jimin stiffen in your hug.

When you pulled back to look at him, tears were welling up in his eyes. “Oh, I’m the worst…” He muttered, feeling so guilty. “I was just frustrated, I was feeling insecure. Now that I know, I don’t mind one bit waiting for anything until you’re ready.” He assured you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead as you nodded understanding.

Tae:

It had only been a few weeks since Tae had confessed his feelings to you and the pair of you had started dating. Long before that, you’d been close friends, so you had spent a lot of time together over time. During one of your first few movie nights as a couple, things slowly began to escalate between you. You were sitting close together, seemingly focused on the film, when Tae moved to put an arm around you, pulling you closer so you were snuggled up beside him.

His eyes never left the screen, but there was a telltale little smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes a little, but you certainly didn’t mind. Despite it being such a small thing, at this stage in your relationship, this was a little bit thrilling. Soon you could feel him staring at you, and you turned your head to look back at him. His face had gotten much closer to yours than you’d expected. “…Tae?” you whispered, seeing both affection and mischief in his eyes. “Yes love?” He replied quietly in his gorgeous low voice, making you shiver just slightly.

You shook your head almost imperceptibly, and before you knew it his lips were on yours. You froze, all of this being completely new and foreign for you. Feeling you stiffen and fail to reciprocate the kiss, Tae pulled back to look at your face, wearing an expression of concern. “Um, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have just… assumed you felt the same way…” He muttered nervously, not making eye contact. “No!” You exclaimed a little louder than you meant to, quieting your voice to a near-whisper before speaking again.

“No, Tae, I do feel the same way! I really, really do. I love you. I have since we were just friends. I… I want you too. Just, um, I don’t know what to do…. That was my first kiss just now and I kind of just panicked and froze.” You confessed, watching the surprise and then recognition cover his face. That was all it took to take his unsure expression back to a smug smirk. Knowing the power his voice held over you, he leaned in close to you to speak in your ear when he said “in that case, I think we need some practice, don’t you?” Oh boy.

Jungkook:

You had been seeing Jungkook for a couple of months now and it was more than apparent that he was smitten with you (and vice versa). He complimented you frequently, his heart eyes for you always clearly on display. The only problem was the way you practically jumped away from him any time he got close to you. He had definitely noticed your weird behavior, and though you didn’t know what to do about it, you knew it was only a matter of time until he brought it up in conversation.

When that moment came, you had just clammed up and pulled back from him when he tried to put his arm around you while watching a movie. When you saw his expression in reaction, you felt immensely guilty, seeing the hurt on his face. After a moment it shifted to extreme irritation, him clenching his jaw in annoyance. “What’s your problem? I can’t get anywhere near you without you freaking out and moving away in a hurry.” You couldn’t make eye contact anymore at that point, feeling the tears well up in your eyes as you were filled with the fear that you had ruined things with him.

“I… I don’t really know why I keep doing that, it’s just all new to me. I’ve never dated anyone before you so I kind of don’t know what to do with myself most of the time.” You confessed, trying to mask the sniffle that you gave as the first tear rolled down your cheek. Now it was Jungkook’s turn to feel guilty. He approached you slowly, asking you to look at him in a gentle voice. When you did, you saw that the irritation was completely gone, replaced with remorse and fondness. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, I could have just asked like an actual adult rather than how I behaved. I guess I was just insecure, afraid that you don’t like me in the same way I like you.” He explained, and you nodded slightly in understanding.

“That’s not it at all! I really *really* like you. A relationship is just totally uncharted territory for me and I handled it wrong. I should’ve just told you.” You sighed, the heaviness leaving your heart as an adorable bunny smile grew on his face. “Uncharted territory, huh? Well let me be your travel guide. We can be explorers together.” You rolled your eyes at his dumb joke, but smiled in spite of how silly his words were. You felt like now, with it all out in the open, things could be good with the two of you.

a/n: Feedback please! <3 I love to hear from y'all!

[arvinsescape]

Me for Me.

A/N: I personally struggle with a lot of these insecurities so if anyone else does please know my inbox is always open.

Summary: Y/N is closed off and Tom finds out why.

Warnings: Couple of swear words.

W/C: 2K.

At first Tom thought he’d upset you in some way or another without meaning to. You’d been cast in a film together and while you were always pleasant, he found it difficult to get close to you. When he’d asked you if there was anything he’d done you’d laughed and said no, said that he didn’t need to worry. Every time he tried to hang out after set you’d politely reject and make your way back to your trailer. He decided he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“Hey, Jane.” He collared your agent as she was walking past.

“Tom, what can I do for you?” She replied, Jane was lovely.

“I was just wondering if I’d upset Y/N somehow and she won’t tell me what I did.” He asked as he scratched the back of his neck.

“She hasn’t said anything why?”

“Well, I don’t know she just seems difficult to get close to, like we have a laugh on set but then when I try and do something outside of set she just disappears.” Tom said as Jane sighed.

“Look Tom, Y/N’s like that a lot of the time, she’s quite closed off. It’s not my place to talk about it though.” She said with a sad smile and Tom sighed.

“Is she still in her trailer?” He asked and she nodded as he made his way towards your trailer and knocked, you looked shocked when you saw him standing there.

“Tom, hey, what are you doing here?” You asked with furrowed brows.

“Any chance we can talk?” He asked and you hesitantly nodded as you let him into your trailer.

“What’s wrong, did you wanna go over some stuff from the script?”

“No, I actually just came to talk to you.”

“Oh.” You said as you both sat down.

“Look, if I’ve upset you please will you tell me. I really feel like I’ve missed something.” He said as he sighed.

“You haven’t done anything, look I just struggle to let people in, that’s all.” You said as you smiled at him and he nodded.

“Wanna talk about it? We don’t have to if you don’t want.” He said and there was something about the way he said it. Something seemed safe about telling him, that he wouldn’t tell anyone else and you really enjoyed working with him, he was a really nice guy. You sighed as you spoke.

“I just have a lot of insecurities you know. I’ve had a lot of people use me in this industry to get where they want to be and then cut me off like we never knew each other.” You swallowed and he looked at you as you spoke, attention fully on you. You felt tears brim your eyes as you carried on.

“I’ve had people that claim to be my friends talk shit about me and then when I asked them about it they just said that everybody talks shit behind everyone’s back regardless of who they are to them. Which I get it, your anger gets the better of you sometimes and I can understand that but some of the things they said had nothing to do with anything I did to them, it was about my looks or my acting, that sort of stuff. That started a lot of insecurities for me, I always fear that people don’t actually like me or that they put up with me for a short time before I bore them.” You let a few tears slip as you spoke and sniffled.

“I feel like I’ve never really had a best friend you know. Never really had someone who gets me, never really had someone who itches to tell me things first. It sounds so childish but I just wanna be someone’s first thought for once you know. Even the boyfriends I’ve had have treated me like that.” You were crying now as you let it all out, knees pulled up to your chest and you felt guilty for a second. Tom probably didn’t wanna hear this.

But you were wrong Tom did want to hear this because now he understood. You won’t get close to him or anyone else because you’re scared that they’ll turn out like everyone else. He understood now that all you really wanted was a friend, someone who would stick by you and tell you when you’d annoyed them or upset them, not talk shit behind your back. You wanted people in your life you knew you could trust but so many people had let you down that you’d become guarded. Tom moved towards you and moved your legs so he could pull you into his chest as you cried.

“Hey, it’s not childish to want a proper friend you know.” He said as he rubbed your back. “I get it, you don’t want people to hurt you so you don’t give them the chance and I understand that. I want to help, be someone you can rely on, call a friend. I care you know, I came here to find you because I care.” He said as he continued to rub your back as you cried into his chest.

You cried for a while before you eventually calmed yourself down and Tom didn’t let go for a second, he just held you because that’s what you needed. You’d expected him to get bored and leave you crying to yourself. When you’d composed yourself you pulled away from him as you wiped your nose on your hoodie and sniffled.

“I’m sorry about your shirt.” You laughed as you gestured to the puddle of tears you’d left there.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry my prying made you cry so much.” He said and it was sincere, he meant it.

“It wasn’t really you. I’ve just kept it in for so long you know. It felt good to get it out. No one’s ever really asked me about it.” You said, it was true no one had taken it upon themselves to find out why you only ever interacted with people on set. Maybe he did care.

“We get on so well on set I genuinely want to spend time with you outside of it you know. I would love to wind down properly with you, laugh about the shit that’s gone wrong, you know.” He laughed as he moved a few strands of hair out of your face and you sniffled again.

“God, I must look a right state.” You laughed. “Listen, I’m sorry if I’ve been standoffish I just don’t wanna put myself in that position again. I would love to do all those things but I’ve just held myself back you know.” You sniffled again and he nodded.

“Well I am prepared to show you that you can trust me and it’s okay if that takes time, I just wanna get to know you.” He smiled and it seemed so genuine you nodded, he seemed like a safe place you’d not found in a while.

He did prove to you that he cared. He invited you to so much, he seemed genuinely interested in you and your life, work, anything. You became inseparable on and off set, you really did become best friends, you even considered his brother a best friend and it made you feel so good to be able to have people around but of course, filming wrapped up, press tours were done and the movie was out. You became filled with the dread that this would be it, he was gonna drift away now.

You were sat at home thinking about the last time you’d heard from Tom and it had been almost a week but you knew he was busy and you hadn’t reached out either. You were pulled from your thoughts when your phone vibrated. Tom. You quickly answered.

“Hi.” You said probably overly excited.

“Hey. I’m so sorry I’ve not called or texted this week, I’ve been so busy seeing family and getting shit sorted at home.” He said and you smiled.

“No it’s fine, I didn’t call or text you either.” You reasoned.

“Yeah but I said I’d call and I didn’t forget I just ran out of time most days and it’d be way too late at night to call you.” He explained.

“Tom, it’s fine.” You laughed.

“Listen, I’m your way again in a couple days, you wanna hang out? I miss you and I know Harry does too.”

“That sounds amazing.” He wanted to see you. He really does care. You by this point of course had a crush on him and you didn’t know if he felt the same but it didn’t matter because he was just being the one thing you really wanted and needed: a best friend.

You met up with the boys as planned and it was amazing. You had a lot of fun and when they were heading back to their hotel Tom had asked if you wanted to go for dinner the night after and of course you agreed. So here you were, sat in a nice restaurant, enjoying the best company.

“So Y/N, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” He said as he looked at you and you smiled.

“Anything.”

“Look, when we first started hanging out I really enjoyed it, you were funny and we got on so well that at some point I started to like you. I didn’t wanna make it seem like that was why I was getting close to you because it wasn’t, the crush came after the friendship. I know you don’t like letting people in and I respect that but I would love it if you could let me in, you know completely. Let me be there for you as partner and a best friend.” He said and you felt tears brim your eyes.

He’d gotten to know you and then started to like you. He didn’t base it off your looks, he based it off your personality, something you’d not had before. Most men had wanted to date you and then didn’t want to get to know you. But Tom was the opposite and it filled you with a happiness that you’d never felt before.

“If you don’t like me back, that’s fine but at least I’ll know. It won’t change anything, I’ll still be here as much as I am now.” He finished and you smiled at him.

“So you like me for me?” You asked.

“I really really do. Of course, you’re beautiful on the outside but that doesn’t compare to how beautiful you are on the inside. Like I said, I really did come to find you that day because I cared and I wanted a friendship. I developed my crush on you a couple of months later. I’ve always found you attractive make no mistake about that but getting to know you was amazing because you are an amazing person.” He said.

“I really like you too.” You said and he grinned.

“So you wanna make a go of it? I promise things won’t change, I really do like you for you.”

“Yeah, I wanna make a go of it.” You said and he smiled as he leant over the table to give you a kiss to which you happily returned.

Tom really did prove a lot to you, he was there for you all the time and he showed you what it was like to be loved properly, you made new friends through him, people you could trust and people who didn’t let you down and for the first time in a long time you were genuinely happy with your life.

[hops-hunny]

Girls Like Her

Pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Black!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.7k

Request: N/A

Summary: In which Kyoya is smitten and not afraid to show it.

Warnings: None! Fluff.

A/N: this is so self indulgent and I don't even care I NEEDED some Kyoya with a black girl bc where's all the color in the ouran community??

Kyoya had a fine eye for spectacular things. Running the host club with Tamaki required it. He was always looking for something of interest that he knew the guest would like and that would bring in a nice bit of money as well. That's why he was mesmerized when he saw (Y/n). Sure, Kyoya had seen girls that were deemed "beautiful" by whatever measure of beauty the rest of his high class socialite peers thought. However, he had never put much thought into what he personally found beautiful but now thanks to her, he didn't need to.

Sure he had seen women with nice skin. It wasn't very uncommon. Going to school with girls whose parents made most people's yearly salary in a day meant they were well cared for. They took care of their skin with the finest of products, as did he. However her skin was unmatched. Nice hues of brown which glowed beautifully in the soft daylight of music room 3. Not a blemish or wrinkle in sight. Smooth and brown all over like a bewitching goddess. And sure other girls had hair. It was all a blur to him however, nothing he could point out or was anything but ordinary. All of it was the same straight hair in the same bland style. But hers however?

She wore some of the most elaborate styles he had ever seen. He didn't know the proper names for them at first but the more she visited the host club, the more he'd overhear her speak about them to the other guest. Box braids, goddess twist, faux locs. Each style suited and complimented her well. Anytime she'd change it up he'd observe it carefully, viewing every bump and turn on the art that was her hair. His favorite though was when she'd wear it naturally.

 God was it a sight. A large, picked to perfection afro atop her head like the crown a princess, no, a queen of her caliber should have. It reminded him of the clouds in the sky he'd see on a nice summer afternoon except far more eye catching and far more mesmerizing.

"Tamaki?" Kyoya questioned, looking up at his blonde friend. The last few of the guest had trickled out by now.

"Yes mommy dear?" He quipped, walking over to his raven haired friend.

"Is there a reason we don't see Lady (L/n) any time other than the host club? How come I've never seen her in any of our classes?" He asked, trying to ignore the stupid look Tamaki had on his face.

"Kyoya, are you in love?! Oh how amazing! I always knew this wo-"

"Forget it, this is a waste of time." He began to head to the door but stopped as Tamaki stopped his path.

"Wait! (L/N) as in (Y/n) (L/n) right? She's a year below us, that's why you probably never see her outside of class. We don't have any classes with her except lunch if you count that." Kyoya hummed at the man's words before walking to the door, opening it. 

"Thank you." He said, giving him a nod of acknowledgement.

"No problem, dear friend."

--------------------------

Kyoya stood behind his podium, greeting guests as they came through. He offered each of them the same fake smile he'd give, confirming their host choice for the day. He never cared too much to remember faces, just the different things they'd enjoy and how he could make profit off of them. Well everyone except-

"Kyooo! What's up? How ya doin today?" She chirped, leaning close to him as she offered him a bright smile from behind her supple plump lips. He smiled down at her, a genuine one (not that he'd ever let anyone know that).

"Ah, lady (L/n). A pleasure to see you as always. Your usual I presume?" He said, searching for the twins' names as he went to check the mark.

"Actually I thought I'd switch things up today!"

"Really? Who will it be then?" Whoever it was would be so lucky to be graced with the girl's presence. Her smile grew wider at his question as she leaned even closer.

"You! You do host right? I haven't seen anyone come to you for some time." She mused, resting a brown hand on his arm. Normally he'd remove himself from anyone's touch but for her he didn't mind so much. He'd even go as far as to say he enjoyed it. "Any excuse to stare at that nice face of yours longer."

'The same could be said even more so about you, darling.' Is what he wanted to say but consumed by his own nerves he let them get the best of him. "Usually I find myself too busy to," he started, noticing her face drop, "However I can always make exceptions for ladies of such high beauty as yourself, princess." She smiled, heading over to the empty table that Kyoya rarely hosts at. She sat on the couch across from him, fiddling and moving around as usual. (Y/n) was an unusual energetic girl who found that she couldn't sit still for more than a few seconds, which was a trait that usually drove him up the wall but when it came to her he found it to be quite cute.

“You’re not going to eat or drink anything?” (Y/n) asked, shoving her mouth with the tiny tea cakes that sat on the silver cake stand. Kyoya let a soft smile take his face as he watched her. He always kept them hidden in the back because he knew they were her favorite and they were far more expensive than anything else they served. The cakes themselves were imported from France daily which was obviously a pretty penny but, he didn’t mind. The smile on her face made it worth the extra bit of cash.

“I’m not much of a fan of sugar, it’s bad for your skin.” he stated, looking down at the little black book in his hands. She hummed processing his words before wiping her mouth off with a napkin.

“Well what do you usually drink? I wanna have the same thing as you!”

“I’m a fan of earl grey served black. No sugar, no cream.” he said. She eyed him carefully before giggling. She leaned in close, looking into his dark eyes as he stared back.

“Yeah you seem to be quite the fan of,” she cleared her throat to hide a giggle. “Black things.” Kyoya set his cup down, choking on the liquid. (Y/n) sat back in her seat satisfied, laughing loudly as she threw her head back. A few of the guests stared at her with angry eyes, upset by her mild disturbance. But, she didn’t care. She never did. Once his choking died down, she sent him a wink. “I’m only messing with you, Kyo-chan! Lightin up will yeah? Anyways I’d like to have a cup of what you're drinking. It couldn’t be too bad, right?”

Wrong, she had been deeply wrong. Kyoya smiled in amusement as she sputtered out the tea, coughing dramatically. “Is it not to your liking, dear?” he asked in a sarcastically cheerful tone.

“Like hell it is! This shit is gross.” she began to pout, pushing the cup away from her. “I’d like my usual back please.” she said, looking up at him. He felt his face heat up slightly as he nodded his head, grabbing her cup before heading off with it. He searched the shelves carefully before finding her usual and preparing the way he knew she liked it. Too much sugar and too much cream. He chuckled at the thought, 'it suits her.'

(Y/n) smiled as he returned with her cup taking a sip as she let out a sigh of content. "As much as I'm enjoying my time with you today, my lady, I'm curious about your sudden shift. You always without a doubt choose the twins." He questioned, watching as she delicately set her cup down on the wooden table. He admired her presence. She was graceful but in a way he had never seen before, unique just like everything else about her.

"Do you want the real answer or the fake answer?" She questioned, biting the inside of her cheek nervously. Kyoya had a split second of a confused look before offering her another smile.

"Honestly is the best policy, my dear."

"Well- you see- ugh!" She huffed, slouching back in her seat. He couldn't help but find it adorable how the big ugly yellow dress swallowed her whole during that action. "I always wanna request for you Kyo-chan but you always seem so busy, so distant. I figured I'd let you have your own peace." She leaned forward on her hand as she rested her elbow on the table. "And besides, I've seen you reject to host much prettier girls so why would you host me?"

Kyoya's eyes widened at the (h/c) haired girls announcement. Prettier girls, than her? Too busy, for her? He chuckled some catching the girl's attention. Before she could ask him what was up he began to speak. "I don't mean to laugh in your face princess but I think you've got it twisted." He stood up, pulling the girl close to his chest. The other host watched with wide eyes and their mouths open at Kyoya's uncharacteristic behavior. "There are no prettier girls nor is there anyone I'd rather spend my time with," he tilted her head up bringing his face closer to hers, "Than you." (Y/n) stood there breathless at his words. Her eyes gleamed brightly at his confession.

"Are you busy this weekend?" She asked him faintly.

"Well, I'd have t-"

"Well now you're not. Take me on a date." His eyes widened at her forwardness before laughing softly. She did have a way of doing that, leading the way in any conversation no matter what the topic.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" He teased, pulling back from his hold to push his glasses up his nose. "Either way, alright dear. How could I say no to you?"

Tamaki watched from a far with a hand over his heart, genuine tears falling out of his eyes. In all his time he had known Kyoya, he had never seen him passionate about much of anything. To see his friend so sure of himself, so content in his emotions moved him. Thank god for the sun that had taken away Kyoya from his rainy days.

[acourtofbookishdreams]

Azriel ~ Different

Azriel x Reader

Summary: You have been having nightmares frequently and Azriel always is there to help you. This time, though, you finally open up about your nightmares and the things you experienced Under the Mountain.

Warning: Mentions of r*pe and sex*al assault. Please be wary.

Word Count: 1785

Azriel POV

Her screams had woken me again.

"Azriel! Azriel, no!"

This was becoming a recurrent, nightly tradition. A tradition I wished would would just simply not be anymore.

I did what I always did, bursting into her room, Truthteller at the ready to fend off whatever ailed her but we both knew it was mostly for show. Still, I would never not rush to her side, never leave Truthteller behind for the sake of the fact that the one time I didn't would inevitably be the one time something was truly, physically wrong with her and I would kick myself for treating it as any other night - especially since the fear was certainly not all that unfounded.

But it was just a nightmare. Another nightmare.

'YOUR' POV

My screams had woken him again.

He had done the chivalrous thing of course, bursting into my room with Truthteller, prepared to fight the evil lurking in the shadows he couldn't predict or trust but we both knew nothing was there to fight, it was all in my head.

Another nightmare.

One like all the rest but this time...it was worse.

"Y/N" Azriel breathes, lowering the blade

"I'm okay" I shake my head, offering a weak smile, "Routine procedure at this point, right?"

I bite my lip, trying to hold the tears back and averting my gaze. It was usually at this point that Azriel would ask if I wanted him to stay but for some reason tonight was different. He closed the door, left Truthteller on the bedside table and climbed into bed with me immediately after, no questions, no waiting for an invitation.

Of course, I knew if I told him to leave he would do so. It was always my choice. But tonight it appeared maybe he needed this contact as much as I.

"You're safe" Azriel murmurs, gathering me into his arms.

I choke on a sob, curling into his side and resting my head on his bare chest. Usually, when he was shirtless it was an effort to keep focused but at the moment it was just further proof he was here, alive and free. It was proof he was safe.

"It's not my safety that scares me" I breathe. Once again, we were breaking from normal pattern. Previous nights, it had always been my screaming waking him, he would run in, ask if I wanted him to stay, I would agree and then he'd hold me until I fell asleep.

I never talked about the nightmares I had, never. Not even the first time...

"No!" she screamed, thrashing violently in the bedsheets, almost tearing them apart, "No, don't take-NO!"

"Y/N!" Azriel yells, bursting in through the door at the same time she awakens, clutching the sheets to her chest, sweat slick hair plastered to her forehead, tears streaming down in uncontrolled rivers of fear and pain, "Y/N, what is it?!"

"Nothing, Az, I'm sorry for waking you" she sighed, running a hand through her hair, "It was just a nightmare, I've had them for a while."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Azriel frowned, Truthteller lowering to his side.

"It wasn't necessary. I've been dealing with these since-before I got back."

"Would you..." Azriel trailed off, "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, I..." she began to reject the proposal but suddenly changed her mind, "Actually, yes, please."

Azriel nods, placing Truthteller on the bedside table before moving to open up the covers, having since nervously been put in some semblance of order as they had spoken but he stops mid-way noting that her resolve had shaken - that she was now shaking, violent sobs wracking her body.

"Y/N" Azriel said and the one word was enough to break her.

"Azriel" she sobbed, tears flowing freely again, face screwed up into an expression of unfiltered pain.

"Y/N" Azriel whispers, sitting on the bed and pulling her onto his lap. She wrapped her legs and arms around him, securing herself to him as she sobbed into his neck until the sun rose.

She had fallen asleep that way, her legs and arms secured around him in a tight embrace, tears dried and leaving her skin slightly sticky with the moisture.

He had placed her down in the bed after he had fixed the sheets with one hand, the other supporting her body, becoming limp each second sleep overtook her.

He had intended to leave but she had subconsciously clung to him with a grip so strong it had surprised him and rather than risk waking you or, worse, upsetting you, he had climbed into bed beside her, tucking her into his chest so her face rested right where his heart was.

He had found it a very fitting place for her to rest.

Azriel had done it every night since, every time a nightmare came around unless you wished otherwise, which had never happened as of yet. Even if you didn't scream out, his shadows were so attuned to you, he would sense it and come in anyhow - where you would be sitting cross legged on the bed, hugging yourself or crying or just staring at the ceiling with a dead expression on your face.

Having him with you, holding you in his arms, stroking your hair, legs intertwined and breathing synchronised. It was the best remedy for your fear.

A cure.

"Then what does scare you?" Azriel asks, his voice hesitant to bring up a memory that causes you pain.

"You do" I breathe, "My nightmares are always about you."

Azriel breathes in deeply, "I scare you?"

"No, no!" I rebuke, "No, not you personally! My nightmares always involve you...they..."

"You don't have to tell me" Azriel whispers

"I think I need to" I admit, "These dreams, they're obviously not getting better. Maybe telling someone...maybe telling someone will help."

Azriel waits patiently. Content to listen or to completely disregard everything you said if that was what you wished, the way he'd always been.

"Most nights, A-Amarantha comes back" I explain, stumbling over the name, "And this time she takes you instead of Rhys and other nights...other nights it had always been you that was taken."

"And she took you because she knew he was hiding something" Azriel confirmed, it was the little knowledge he did have of Amarantha and her motives, "So to punish him further, she took you, his only living relative, and..."

"And that's all you know" I nod, "But what you don't know is that...she didn't just punish Rhys. She punished me too."

Azriel stiffens in my arms, his hand momentarily freezing in it's soothing stroking up and down my spine.

"If any of it gets to be too much, I can stop" I say

"No" Azriel shakes his head, "You lived it. I can at least stand to hear about it, especially if it helps you."

"She used to...make me watch." I spat in disgust, "While she...basically raped Rhys I had to watch. Everything she did to him, the malice in her eyes while she did what she did, the enjoyment in knowing he was doing this not for her but to protect what he loved...Worse, we both had to pretend it was normal. That we enjoyed it. If we didn't, our facade as the Court of Nightmares would fall apart and we couldn't let that happen."

Peering up at Azriel, I stopped for a moment to assess his reaction. His eyes were hard as flint, like chips of hazel ice. He nodded softly, encouraging me to continue.

"On the odd occasion she would also...bring me into the scene. It wasn't often, she didn't like it all that much herself it was mainly just to put us on edge. Thankfully, she never made us do anything...to each other. I never touched Rhys once nor he me and I'll always thank the Mother for that but she would still...it was still..."

"You don't need to say what it was" Azriel cuts in, "I know."

Traumatising.

It was traumatising.

"So, when the nightmares come about. It's not Rhys under Am-under her. It's you. I see her with you. Some nights you're faking it like we had to, others you're genuinely enjoying it, and sometimes you're...screaming and-and begging her to stop-" My tears choke off the words and I sob loudly.

He pulls me ever closer in response, hushing me as his hands stroke my hair, "That's not me. It was never me."

"What if it could be?" I cry, "What if another one of her comes around one day and they take you. I couldn't bear it-"

"You could. I had to" Azriel admits. Both comforting and upfront. He would never lie to you and to say it would never happen again could be a lie, "When you were taken, I...Cauldron, I would always try to leave Velaris, damn the consequences. It was always Amren and sometimes Mor and Cass who would pull me off the ledge. I couldn't stand it, thinking about what she could be doing to Rhys but, to you...it was worse. Infinitely worse."

"If it ever does happen, I need you to be strong" Azriel continues, "I will do everything in my power to keep it from happening but if the Mother decides that's how things play out...I will need you to be strong, to protect yourself because the idea of you ever being hurt for the sake of me...it's not right."

"It would be" I sniffle, "To keep you safe, I would do anything. I did. Rhys did."

"You'll never have to again" Azriel resolves, kissing the top of my head, "Never again."

I exhale loudly, making a sudden decision that could change everything.

"Azriel?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too" His response was automatic. I mean, we had said it a dozen times but this...was different.

"I don't mean it like that" I admit, peering up at him sheepishly, "I'm in love with you. I have been for a...a very long time."

Azriel's silence spurs me on to speak more, explain myself.

"I understand if you don't feel the same and I'm sorry I never told you earlier but at first it was a crush and then...then I got taken and I was stuck without you for so long. After that, I knew it was love and not a crush on my part but I couldn't say anything. I just...I couldn't. But then you came in every night to help with my nightmares and that was-"

My words are cut off as Azriel takes my chin in his hand, dipping his head and kisses me. Soft, tentative, comforting. It wasn't the kind of kiss that made your toes curl or butterflies erupt, it was the kind of kiss that admitted everything words could never express.

He pulls back only slightly, leaving you nose to nose.

"I have always loved you" Azriel breathes, "From the moment I saw you barrelling into the Illyrian camps, bright smile and unruly attitude."

"I love you" I smile, tears sliding down my face, - happy tears, "So much"

"And I you."

After that, neither of you slept alone ever again.

Masterlist

[parkerslatte]

Years Passed [Chapter Three]

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Part Summary: After Spencer asks Y/N our for coffee, the two share about their unlucky love lives.

Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of maeve, mentions of surgery

previous chapter / next chapter

Years Passed Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Taglist

***

CHAPTER THREE: CASE CLOSED

In the days following since Spencer showed up at Y/N’s apartment, she had been quite lonely. Harper’s school had started back up so she was gone the majority of the day leaving the house in silence. The constant giggles of her daughter were absent for six of the twenty four hours. Of course, Y/N took this as an opportunity to finish a commission she had been working on these last few weeks. The smell of paint was evident in the air causing Y/N to open all the windows around her. Y/N enjoyed painting very much but she missed the smaller version of her by her side, questioning everything she did and copying it to her best ability. 

The slip of paper that Spencer’s phone number was written on was sitting not too far away from Y/N and she would find herself occasionally glancing over to it. She did want to call Spencer but she didn’t want to seem too eager, and besides, he was working a case, there was no way he had the time for her. 

Seeing Spencer again wasn’t exactly on Y/N’s bucket list. Ever since she moved back six months ago, she hadn’t run into him once and he never even crossed her mind. However, once she saw him just days ago, she thought about him at least once a day. None of the thoughts were exactly bad, she just wondered if he had a family. If he was still interested in the same thing he was thirteen years ago. If he was the same Spencer she loved thirteen years ago. Shaking her head clear of any thoughts of Spencer, Y/N continued to paint the canvas that stood in front of her while softly singing along to the music that drowned out the silence. 

Y/N had only been painting for what she guess was another fifteen minutes before her phone started to ring from across the room. Groaning, as she had just gotten into a rhythm of painting, she walked over and looked at the caller ID. The number didn’t have a name but she recognised it - it was Spencer’s number. 

“Hello?” Y/N answered. 

“Hi, Y/N. It’s Spencer.” 

“Spencer, hi. What’s up?” 

“I was just calling because we caught the guy who abducted Ava.” Spencer said. 

“That’s good. Is she okay?” Y/N questioned quickly.

Spencer paused, “She’s alive, she’s in hospital currently. If we didn’t get to her in time there was a chance that she wouldn’t make it.” 

“But she is alive.” Y/N clarified.

“Yes, and the doctors say that she will make a recovery.”

“Thank god.” Y/N said, placing her hand over her heart. 

“You okay?” Spencer questioned.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just glad that Ava is okay.” Y/N replied. 

“We all are.” Spencer responded. 

The two fell into a long silence, normally if this happened someone would hang up however neither of them did. Y/N wanted to say something but she didn’t know what to say. She did want to continue speaking to Spencer but she didn’t exactly know how to approach the topic. Luckily she didn’t have to say anything. 

“Do you want to go and get coffee, um, with me?” Spencer asked.

“Um, sure, when?” Y/N asked, suddenly feeling a weight lift off her chest.

“Now? Only if you’re not doing anything, if you are we could always reschedule and have coffee another time.” Spencer rambled.

Y/N couldn’t help but let a small smile appear on her face, “Coffee sounds great Spencer, text me where.”

“Okay, okay, I will, I’ll see you soon Y/N.” Spencer replied, suddenly sounding perkier.

“See you soon.” Y/N responded before hanging up 

***

As Y/N stepped through the doors to the cafe, she immediately looked around for Spencer. She found him sitting at the back corner of the cafe. As their eyes met, a wide smile spread across Spencer’s face as Y/N began to walk over. When she was finally standing at the table Spencer’s gaze didn’t move from Y/N for a second. 

“Hi.” Y/N greeted with a smile. 

“Hi.” Spencer responded, his smile that Y/N could recognise anywhere still evident on his face. 

Y/N sat in the seat across from Spencer and got comfortable. Once she looked down she noticed that there were two cups of coffee on the table.

“I don’t know if you still like your coffee like that but if you don’t I can always get you another cup.” Spencer said nervously.

Y/N smiled, touched at the simple action, “You still remember my order?”

Spencer felt his face heat up slightly, “Yeah, I do.”

Y/N smiled at him, causing Spencer to clear his throat, “So how have you been?” He asked, changing the subject.

“I’ve been good,” Y/N responded, “I’ve been settling in since I moved back here six months ago from England. Normally I would settle in quicker but Harper took a little longer to adjust.” 

“Why did you move back?” Spencer asked curiously.

“I loved living in England but being away from my family and friends was always hard and I couldn’t exactly afford to keep coming back and I couldn’t keep taking Harper out of school to have a small holiday to visit her family. I wanted her to get to know them in person not just through a screen,” Y/N explained, “Harper has loved being around her family since we moved.”

“She seems great,” Spencer said, “Harper that is.”

Y/N smiled at the thought of her daughter, “She is. Harper is the greatest thing to ever happen to me, I don’t know what I would do without her.”

“How old is she?” Spencer asked, genuinely interested.

“Seven, she’s eight in a couple weeks,” Y/N said, “I can’t help but feel a little sad about it. Like I know she’s going to grow up but these years seem to have flown by. I feel like it was only a week ago she learnt how to walk, now she’s practically running everywhere,” Y/N was lost in thought for a quick moment before she snapped herself out of it, “Anyway, that’s enough about me for now, how’s the FBI been treating you?”

“It’s been treating me fine.” Spencer said, the grin on his face faltering.

Y/N narrowed her eyes momentarily, “Are you sure? I may not be a profiler Spencer but I can tell that you’ve been through a lot,” Y/N said as Spencer made eye contact, “You wanna know how I know that?” Spencer nodded slightly, “It’s your eyes, they used to be so innocent, now they’re filled with sadness.”

Spencer cleared his throat, breaking eye contact, “I, um, I’ve seen a lot and I’ve been through a lot.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through,” Y/N said sympathetically, “Thirteen years working for the FBI. I can’t even wrap my head around how long it’s been.”

“Me neither,” Spencer agreed, “You have a sadness in your eyes too.”

“Excuse me?” Y/N questioned.

“You have sadness in your eyes too,” Spencer repeated, “The only time it disappeared was when you were talking about Harper.”

Before Y/N could stop herself, she nodded her head, confirming Spencer’s comment, “I do. For the last eight years everyone has commented on it - around this time of year too.”

Spencer could tell that Y/N was abou to tell him why she felt the way she did but he was quick to interrupt her, “You don’t need to tell me Y/N.”

“No, it’s fine, seriously, practically everyone knows,” Y/N said before taking a deep breath, “My husband and Harper’s father, Owen, well he was in an accident and had to have surgery. We were told that there was a seventy-five percent chance the surgery would be successful. It was successful for the most part, he was like himself, always around Harper, playing with her.” 

Y/N found herself smiling at the memory of Harper playing with her father, “However, after a couple of weeks, he began to find himself getting more tired than usual. He just thought that it was the stress of work but he began to get worse to the point that he couldn’t get out of bed without him being in constant pain.” Y/N stopped her story for a moment, she never had a problem explaining this story before, but being the time of year it was, she was having a hard time.

“He was on so much medication just so he could actually walk around. Both of us knew that he didn’t have long left. I never wanted to make peace with that, I kept denying the inevitable saying that he was going to get better and we would be the happy family I always wanted. Deep down I knew that would never happen but I couldn’t help but lie to myself,” Y/N took a deep breath, by now her eyes were glossy with tears. 

“The one thing Owen wanted was to make it to Harper’s first birthday,” Y/N said, “He died four days before.”

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Spencer said sincerely, he contemplated reaching across the table to take her hand and give her a bit of comfort but thought better of it. 

“It’s okay,” Y/N said, “Normally when I tell people about Owen, I don’t normally get this upset about it, at least I don’t anymore. But since it’s coming up to the anniversary of his death, I guess I just can’t help myself from feeling this way. Sorry for dumping all of that on you, I don’t know why I did it.”

“Y/N, it’s fine, seriously.” Spencer said. 

Y/N gave Spencer a tight lipped smile, “So what about you Spencer Reid, do you have a family?”

Spencer shook his head, “If you mean an actual family as in a wife and kids, I don’t.”

“Why’s that? Do you ever want a family?” Y/N asked.

Spencer nodded, “I’d like nothing more in the world,” He said, “You don’t mind if I talk about something personal do you?”

“I mean I just did so I’m sure it’s perfectly reasonable for you to share too.” Y/N said.

Spencer cleared his throat before speaking, “Well a few years ago I had a girlfriend, Maeve. She was being stalked so we only communicated through phone calls,” Spencer began to explain, “We never saw each other but I fell in love with her. The only time I saw her was when she was killed in front of me by her stalker,” Spencer paused, “I thought that when we could eventually see each other then we could start a family, get married, have kids. Of course that could never happen but I could only think of what would’ve been.”

“I’m sorry Spence,” Y/N said, unconsciously reaching across the table and gently placed her hand on top of his. Neither Y/N nor Spencer thought any different of it and Spencer squeezed her hand as a silent thank you. 

“I haven’t really felt a connection to anyone after Maeve, not enough to fall in love with.” Spencer said.

Y/N nodded in agreement, “Ever since Owen died, I haven’t really had a long term relationship, none of them lasted more than a few months at most. Some of them just thought of it as a fling, some of them couldn’t handle the responsibility of being a parent and some of them were scared off by the thought of me being a mother.”

“You’ll find the right person eventually.” Spencer said.

“And you will too Spencer, and you’ll get to start your family.” Y/N said, offering a small smile to which Spencer returned with one of his own.

Looking down at her phone, Y/N’s eyes widened slightly, “Is that the time? I’ve got to go now, I need to pick Harper up from school.”

“Of course.” Spencer said, removing his hand from Isla’s after he had noticed that they were still connected. 

Y/N stood up, slinging her bag over her shoulder before turning back to Spencer, “This was fun, we should do it again soon but I’m buying the coffee next time.”

Spencer let out a quiet chuckle, “That’s only if you’re here before me.”

“Oh I will be,” Y/N said, “I’ll see you soon Spence.”

Y/N gave him a parting smile before turning and walking out the cafe to go and pick up her daughter.

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@spenxerslut @averyhotchner @drayshadow @moviequeen51 @spencer-reid-am-i-right @ssavanessa22 @amurderofcrowsinatrenchcoat @mbjackie @jklemps @reformedmoneyshovel @nomajdetective @jesuisbenny @jooniehomie @spencerreid-187 @onyourfingertips @uhuhuh @rubyhi208-42 @archer561 @c0rpsecore @sweetandsunny @zoeygraygubler @algonsa @jswessie187 @shemarmooresfedora @kaz-2y567 @alfonsais @aikrus @nani-2305 @death-becomes-her @sarejane @isabelle-558 @measure-in-pain @the-nerd-gang @manuosorioh @luredwithpretzels @ceeellewrites @totallyclearwitch @jekkles @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @sarahpaulsonlov3r @periwinklemax @kuolonsyoja @heartmira @hoodpankow @parahmur @happymangospot @beepbooptoop @ilovespencerreidmarryme @spencesoulmate25 @bloodyxheaven @nyx2021 @morganwilliams @malindacath @pastelbabygirl19 @doctorspenceryeet @reidsbookclub @pinkdiamond1016 (will be continued in reblog)

SERIES TAGLIST

(Will be added in reblog)

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 13

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

If you’re new to Sapere Aude, please click the link above to start from the beginning. There’s so much going on right now that you’ll be way too confused to start from this point. Plus, there are some major bombshells that won’t be as fun if you read this and get a bunch of spoilers.

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Trigger Warning: There is a brief moment of physical abuse, it’s not much, but I definitely wanted to mention it and give a fair warning. 

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.

Word Count: 2,383

A/N: I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats wondering what was going to happen, the answer is a lot. This is a pretty big chapter. I hope you enjoy!

Thanks to my pre-reading babes, @jessiembruno & @txemrn. And to @twinkleallnight for my lovely moodboard! 

Tags: Listed below, hit me up to be added or removed.

“Um...actually, it’s about the queen. Your majesty, you need to come with me, and we need to send some additional guards along with us.”

Liam’s face paled at Thomas’s words. “Where is my wife, Thomas?” He kept his voice quiet, so that he wouldn’t upset his daughter but his tone was stern and authoritative. 

“I believe she is at the old Fierro estate, and time may be of the essence.” 

“Li, go. We’re all here, we can take care of Eleanor.” Drake chimed in. 

Liam nodded. “Bastien, please send as many guards as you can immediately, and prepare the car for us. Thomas, go with him and tell him everything you know so that we can fill the team in.” Both men bowed and quickly exited the room. Liam walked over to Eleanor, sitting in the chair next to her. “Eleanor, I need to step out and pick up mommy, ok? Your auntie and uncles will be here to play with you until we get back.”

“Can I come with you?” She asked hopefully.

Liam took a deep breath before answering her. “I’m sorry princess, but I need to go by myself. But you have a very important job here. Since Valtoria is your home, you need to host our guests. Being a hostess is something you will need to do a lot when you become queen, so this will be wonderful practice. Do you think you’re up for it?”

She nodded her head rapidly. “Yes daddy, I will be the best hostess!”

“Good. Now go with Uncle Drake, and mommy and I will see you when we get home.” He pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek as they pulled apart. 

Eleanor ran to Drake, taking his hand and pulling him toward the door. “C’mon Uncle Drake, I’m the hostess.” Drake chuckled before looking back at Liam and giving him a reassuring nod.

Liam waited a few moments to make sure that Drake and Eleanor were out of his path before rushing out of the room and toward the front entrance. The car was waiting for him, Bastien holding the back door open for Liam to enter. He jumped in and Bastien shut the door behind him, quickly jumping into the driver's seat. The SUV’s wheels squealed as it rushed toward the gates.

“How far out are the guards?” Liam asked. 

“We had a team training not too far from the estate, they should be arriving shortly. They have been briefed.” Bastien replied, looking at Liam through the rearview mirror. 

“Excellent. Would someone care to brief me now? Where is my wife?” Liam commanded. 

Bastien looked over at Thomas, who was seated next to him. “Thomas, please explain to his majesty the current situation.”

Thomas took a deep breath, his hands nervously balling into fists. “Of course. You see sir, there is an organization, the Via-”

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose, interrupting Thomas. “Thomas, please spare me. I know about the Via Imperii, Riley has been telling me about the meetings, the plans, everything.”

“Everything?” There was a slight crack in Thomas’s voice as he looked back at Liam. If she had told him everything, Liam knew who he was.

“Yes Thomas, everything, including our relationship. Right now, that is the last thing I am concerned with. I need you to tell me what they are doing to Riley, and what we need to do to get her out.”

“Unfortunately, I do not know much. I’m sure you were made aware of the conflict between her majesty and Lord Neville. Well it appears that he and Mara have lured her to the estate under the guise of a meeting with our chapter president. I don’t know what they are planning to do from there.” 

Liam’s jaw clenched as he ran a hand through his hair. “Bastien, remind me again why we didn’t dismiss Mara after her charge, the queen, my wife, was kidnapped at our wedding? It seems like grounds for termination to me.”

“She went through a thorough re-training process, and passed all of the associated tests. It was determined that she was able to adequately perform her duties.” Bastien replied. 

“Adequate is not acceptable for protecting the life of a Queen. We need exceptional as the bare minimum. She should have never been cleared to return to such a high profile duty. We will be having a meeting immediately to review protocol and standards.” The mixture of concern and rage swirling inside of Liam was becoming overwhelming, he was having trouble thinking straight. He turned to look out the window, taking deep breaths to regain some level of composure. 

***

“Since rational discussion is not going to be an option here, I guess we’re going to have to go to plan b, elimination.” Neville said to Mara as they sat across from each other, Riley tied to the chair at the head of the table. 

Riley laughed. “Sure, elimination. I bet that will work out great for you. It’s super easy to just make a reigning queen disappear.”

“We have been successful in doing it with two out of the last four queens. What do you think makes you so special?” Neville turned his attention to Riley, genuinely curious to know her reasons. 

“Well first of all, Eleanor was in on the plan, so she doesn’t count, so it’s actually one out of four. And second, I’m sure Liam and the rest of the guards, the loyal ones,” she looked poignantly at Mara, “are on their way. I’ve been gone long enough that Liam has definitely already had them ping the location of my phone.”

Mara pulled a phone out of her pocket and waved it in front of Riley with a smug grin on her face. “It has been powered off since I pulled it from your pocket as you were getting into the car.” She placed it on the table and slid it toward Riley.

“Any more smart remarks?” Neville asked, standing from his seat. He approached Riley, taking her face in his hand and leaning in close. “The fairytale is over Riley, and the ending isn’t quite as happy as you thought.”

Riley could feel her nerves starting to take over. Yes, Liam would be missing her right now, but how was he going to find her? She felt her heart rate increase, trying to keep her composure. She had been through this before. For as much as she hated Anton, she had to give him credit, he was much better at this than Neville was. If she could survive that, she could figure out a way out of this. 

She thought back to that night at the abandoned castle, she needed to channel that version of herself again. And she certainly couldn’t let Neville know he was getting to her. “What happened? You couldn’t find a woman to kiss you out of being a frog faced asshole? Or you did and it just didn’t work?”

“That’s enough!” the back of Neville’s hand abruptly met with Riley’s face, the force of the impact almost knocking the chair over. She moved her jaw back and forth several times, trying to assess the damage as best she could with her hands tied behind her back. “Mara, do we have anything to gag her with?” 

Before she could answer, there was a knock at the door. Neville and Mara looked at each other in confusion, nobody else knew about the plan. “Well?” Neville raised his hands in frustration. “You’re the security guard, go assess the damn threat!”

Mara jumped to her feet and opened the door to find Eleanor on the other side. “Ah Mara, I heard you and Queen Riley had stopped by, I’m so glad I was able to catch you.” She didn’t wait for Mara to respond before brushing past her and entering the room. “Lord Neville, I didn’t know you would be using one of our meeting rooms today. You didn’t clear it through the proper channels. What have we got here?” Eleanor walked straight past Neville and went right to Riley. She took in her appearance, noticing a red mark on her cheek and a small trail of blood running down her face. Her eyes were watering, but she hadn’t shed a single tear. Eleanor was impressed by the strength she was showing under these circumstances. She gave Riley a subtle wink before taking a seat and motioning for Mara and Neville to do the same. “Now, should we talk about where you plan to take things from here, considering you clearly haven’t thought this scheme all the way through?” 

“We’re going to do what this organization has done for years, eliminate the threat. Maybe we will be more successful in the king’s next social season, and get a cooperative queen in place.” Neville replied.

Riley took a shaky breath, but the idea of her being taken away from her family was too much for her to bear. The tears she had been holding back broke free, and she began sobbing. Eleanor walked back over to Riley and knelt down in front of her. “It’s alright dear, you aren’t going anywhere.” She placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before standing and turning her attention back to her captors. “Are you insane? Do you have any idea how much time and careful planning goes into enacting an elimination plan? You can’t just decide to kill the queen and expect that everything will go off without a hitch!”

As if on cue, the door burst open and several members of the King’s Guard entered with their weapons drawn. Mara immediately drew her weapon and aimed it at Neville. “Hands in the air, Lord Vancoeur.”

“Drop the weapon Mara.” One of the guards commanded.

Mara continued acting as if she was assisting in the rescue efforts, ignoring the guard’s warning. “I’m glad you guys got here, I was having trouble calling for backup to save the -”

A loud pop filled the room, Riley flinched, keeping her eyes closed for a moment. When she opened them, she saw Mara laying on the ground in a pool of blood as two guards rushed Neville and took him into custody. Two more pulled Eleanor away from Riley and forced her hands behind her back. “Stop!” Riley ordered, causing both guards to look up. “She is not a part of this, she was here rescuing me. Let her go.” The guards complied, and Eleanor went back to Riley’s side, quickly undoing the fastenings that bound her to the chair. As soon as she was free, Riley stood and rubbed each of her wrists before raising a hand to her face, gently placing it on the spot that Neville had hit, and moved her jaw back and forth a couple more times. She looked at Eleanor, her eyes welling up again. “You...you saved me.”

“Of course, dear. I told you I wouldn’t let them take you away from your family.” Riley wrapped her arms around Eleanor and pulled her into a hug. Eleanor could hear her hitched breathing and knew she had begun to cry. “It’s ok Riley, you’re safe now. Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

***

Liam was lost in his thoughts, watching the scenery go by as they neared the estate. The sound of Thomas’s phone ringing took him out of his thoughts. He quickly moved his attention to the front of the car, listening intently to Thomas’s answers to the person on the other end. They were simple, one word answers, and he was unable to read any kind of emotion in his voice. “Well?” Liam said, before Thomas had even fully moved the phone away from his ear. “Is Riley ok?” The seconds it took to get his response felt like an eternity for Liam. 

“Yes your majesty, Riley is safe. Lord Vancoeur has been taken into custody, and Mara was killed. Queen Riley is safe and awaiting our arrival.” 

Liam breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in his seat. He was glad she was safe, but he needed to get there. He needed to see it for himself, to hold her, to kiss her. He needed to get her home where he could protect her. 

The car pulled up to the front of the estate, and before it could come to a complete stop, Liam had jumped out and ran to the door. He burst into the estate frantically sticking his head into every doorway looking for her. Finally, he approached a large sitting area with a fireplace running, and there she was, silently watching the flames dance. “Riley? Love?”

Riley blinked a couple of times before turning and meeting Liam’s gaze. “Liam…” her voice was barely above a whisper as she slowly stood to greet him. 

He rushed to her, immediately pulling her into his arms. He held her tightly as he kissed the top of her head. He pulled back, taking her face in his hands. The pressure of his touch on her still tender cheek made her wince in pain. Liam removed his hands and examined her face. “Riley, who did this to you?” He tried to keep calm, not wanting to cause her any more stress or pain.

“Stupid fucking Neville. I made some frog prince joke and he decided to heckle me with the back of his hand.” 

Liam clenched his jaw, and took a deep breath. He would deal with Neville, but for now, he needed to be with his wife. “Riley, I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I should never have let you do this. It could have been so much worse.”

She placed her hand on his cheek, he noticed the marks on her wrist from the restraints, and turned his head to kiss them softly. “But it’s not, because Eleanor, your mother, saved me.”

“My...why would she do that?”

“Because I couldn’t let you lose her.” A lump formed in Liam’s throat at the sound of the voice behind him. He hadn’t heard it in years, but he had never forgotten it. He turned around and as soon as they locked eyes, he felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. “Hello, Liam.”

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Sapere Aude:

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Liam x Riley:

@jared2612

Liam:

@amandablink @yourmajesty09

[taetaespeaches]

“You’ve been my future since we were teenagers.”

taehyung x reader (or oc) genre: angst; fluff word count: 2.3K

a/n: Hi, lovelies! In this drabble, Peaches gets jealous over Tae getting close with a music collaborator and it leads to a small but a bit heated argument. It just kind of shows how Tae and Peaches handle conflict in their relationship. I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading! :))

EYES peering over the top of your book, you inhaled deeply at the small smile tugging on your boyfriend’s lips as he stared down at his phone. Taehyung had been like that for most of the twenty minutes since he’d gotten to your place.

He was sat at the opposite end of the couch, you perpendicular to him on your own respective side as you watched him text his collaboration partner. Frustration building, you closed your book and tossed it to the coffee table, drawing Tae’s eyes for one of the first times that night.

You met his widened gaze. “I can’t focus,” you answered his silent question, the man nodding as he kept staring at you. His hand curled around your ankle, soothing your limb for a moment before you pulled your legs off the couch and stood up.

Without a word, you left the room to the kitchen, feeling Tae’s watchful eyes on you. Standing above the sink, you prepared to do the dishes before your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. “I told you I’d do the dishes, Peaches,” he said gently, his nose nuzzled against your neck.

“I just thought you were too busy on your phone,” you told him coldly, Taehyung looking up at you.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked sheepishly, you sighing.

“I’m annoyed with you,” you corrected, Taehyung cocking his head to get a better look at your face.

“Why?” He asked tentatively. You were sure he already knew why, but he must have needed to hear it.  

“You spent the entire day with her in the studio and now you’re spending the evening smiling at your phone as you text her,” you told him coldly, plugging the sink to fill it with water. You were never one to evade conflict, which was something Taehyung appreciated about you. Neither of you ever played games with each other when it came to your emotions.

“You’re jealous?” He asked, a small amused smile forming on his lips.

“Of course, I’m jealous,” you told him, looking down at him with a glare.

The man let out a light laugh, dismissing your frustration. “You shouldn’t be, Peaches.”

Shrugging him off, Taehyung backed away slightly, removing his arms from your body in concern. “Don’t laugh, it’s not funny,” you told him angrily, not impressed by him trying to make light of your jealousy, no matter how silly he found it to be.

“Wait, you’re like jealous?” He emphasized the word as if it gave it a different meaning. You supposed it did, because you weren’t feeling the cute form of jealousy where you pouted and acted protective of him from whoever was trying to steal his attention. You were feeling the bad kind of jealousy where doubts started to seep into your thoughts, along with all of your insecurities.

“Yes,” you told him shortly. “Obviously.”

“There’s nothing to be jealous of,” he assured you, staring at you intently as you avoided meeting his eyes. “Peaches.”

“Ever since you started the collab you’ve been talking about her constantly and-”

“Not her, I’ve been talking about the collab,” he interrupted, making you turn to look at his face, his expression showing his quick rise to anger. “Because I’m doing a collab. My first one outside of the group,” he explained.

“You’re sitting there on the couch with me, smiling at your fucking phone, Taehyung,” you lectured, your boyfriend taking a deep breath.

“I’m talking to a friend and collaborator about our collaboration. You don’t have a reason to be jealous,” he told you again, the words just pissing you off further.

“And yet here I am being jealous, so explain that to me,” you glared at him. When he shrugged, you huffed. “I have reason to be jealous, and that’s on you.”

“That’s not on me,” he defended crossly, his eyebrows pulled together. “That’s on you and your irrationality.” The words were mean and you both knew it, but he stood stubbornly as he expected your irate response.

“Oh, fuck off,” you spewed, crossing your arms across your chest. Taehyung shot you a look with just as much anger as you, his tongue swiping out to wet his lips. “Call me irrational again and you’ll see how irrational I can be.” Taehyung kept staring at you, giving no indication of saying more, but also giving you no sign of an apology. “My feelings are valid, don’t dismiss them.”

“I’m not dismissing them but I’m not going to entertain them, and I’m not going to take blame for your crazy accusations,” he told you, anger clouding his judgement and choice of words.

“Crazy?” You asked through a bitter laugh. “Now I’m crazy?”

“If you think I’m cheating on you, then yeah, you’re crazy,” he told you, breaking eye contact for the first time. He couldn’t hold your gaze when he was speaking to you like that, but his pride was too overbearing to allow him to backdown.

With your chest heaving as you fumed, you shook your head. “Well if there’s one way to make me act crazy, it’s by calling me crazy,” you told him coldly. “Keep it up.”

“Jesus, Peaches, I’m just saying if I tell you that you have no reason to be jealous, just listen to me,” he stated in frustration.

Scoffing, you rolled your eyes. “Don’t tell me to listen to you, your actions speak louder than your words, which by the way have been all about this collab anyway,” you said, fully aware of how ridiculous and unsupportive you sounded.

What shot across Taehyung’s face wasn’t anger but rather sadness as he shifted on his feet. “I know I’ve been talking about the collab a lot,” he started, his voice low. “I’ve just been excited about it.”

Fuck. You knew the he was excited about the collaboration, and you wanted him to share all of it with you. His connection with the girl was just grating on your insecurities, and you hated how that was making you react.

“I know you’re excited, I’m excited too, Tae, but you’ve just gotten so close to each other the past week,” you told him, your sadness seeping into your tone, your expression dropping.

“We’re friends,” he reminded you, toying with the bracelets around his wrist.

“We were friends,” you pointed out, Taehyung looking at you in surprise. His wide-eyed expression looked so innocent, you immediately cursed yourself for insinuating that he was repeating your love story with someone else, as if it was some pattern he repeated over and over.  

A tense silence filled the room, a stare off ensuing between you and your lover as you both waited for the other to make a move. You couldn’t read the expression on Taehyung’s face, or maybe you could but didn’t want to admit to yourself that you’d upset him that much. He looked angry and disappointed and beyond hurt.

Suddenly, Taehyung shook his head as he began to turn his back on you, panic rising within you, your heart racing as anxiety hit you like a train. “What are you doing?” You asked in haste, the speed of the words giving away your alarm.

“I don’t want to have this conversation anymore,” he told you, though he didn’t take a step away from you yet. “Not if you’re going to reduce me to some asshole who just tries to get all of his friends in bed.”

“I didn’t-,” you started somberly.

“Didn’t you?” He cut you off sharply. “I pined after you for years, I was in love with you for years,” he reminded you, “And you’re going to throw that in my face as if I just fall for anyone?”

“Tae-”

“I’m in love with you, I’m committed to you,” he pointed out. “I take that very seriously, if I didn’t why would I wait six fucking years to tell you? I mean, jesus christ, I wouldn’t even admit it to myself,” he told you, his volume increasing as he got more worked up.

“I know,” you assured, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize now, you were very firm in your stance just a moment ago,” he refused your apology. “You know, I don’t appreciate the doubt.”

“I know,” you repeated lamely.

“I gave my heart to you and you gave yours to me,” he told you with tears gathering along his bottom lash line. “I’ve made it my whole life goal to protect your heart, I wouldn’t cheat on you.”

“I know that, Tae,” you said again.

“Do you?” He asked, tightening his jaw as soon as he posed the question in an attempt to compose himself.

“Yes, I do,” you insisted. Directing his gaze to the kitchen cabinet to his side, he took a deep calming breath. “Tae, I’m not trying to doubt you, I’m just feeling insecure,” you admitted.

“What do you have to be insecure about?” He asked you, turning to meet your gaze.

“Is that a real question?” You asked with a hint of a disbelieving laugh.

“Yeah,” he told you, though you realized with the pureness in his expression that he wasn’t asking because he was dismissing what you believed were your shortcomings. Rather, he genuinely couldn’t understand what you could be insecure about. And that’s when you realized how pointless the whole argument was, because when Taehyung saw you, he saw perfection.

It’s not that he thought you were perfect, he just thought that every single thing about you, flaw or not, was remarkable and worthy of all the love in his heart.

You sighed, dropping your eyes to the floor, wishing it would swallow you up into some time vortex that would allow you to go back to when these feelings first invaded your mind. You’d stop them right then and there, reminding yourself that even though you didn’t see what Taehyung saw, he saw everything in you.

“I wouldn’t even date other people for our entire friendship because no one compared to you. No one has ever been enough since I met you, Peaches,” he spoke overtop your consuming thoughts, you looking up at him tearfully. “You’re my future, and you’ve been my future since we were teenagers.”

“I’m sorry, Dearest,” you pouted.

Taehyung sighed, watching you for a moment as he processed everything that just happened. However, when he saw the first tears fall down your cheeks, his stubborn demeanor melted as he opened his arms to welcome you into a hug. Shuffling the few feet to him, you didn’t hesitate to wrap your arms around his waist, his folding over your shoulders, pulling you close.

“I know you have your insecurities,” he whispered into your hair before leaving a kiss to the top of your head. “But you can’t use those against me like this,” he told you gently.

“I know, I’m sorry,” you apologized again.

“I’m sorry too,” he said sincerely. “I’m sorry I made you feel so jealous, and I’m sorry I dismissed your feelings.”

“I just really love you a lot,” you mumbled against his chest, Taehyung chuckling against your hair.

“I love you, Peaches, you know that,” he told you, reminding you of how dedicated he was to you and your relationship. Nodding against his chest, he smiled. “Look at me, baby.”

Lifting your head to meet his eyes, you found him flashing you a soft smile. “We’re ok,” he told you.

“Ok,” you agreed just as Tae leaned toward you, catching your lips in a sweet kiss.

“Now,” he started, turning you around in one quick twirl so he was holding you in a back hug, gently guiding you toward as he waddled behind you. “You’re going to stand right here, just like this, as I wash these dishes like I promised you I’d do, alright?”

Giggling, you rested your head back against him, looking up at his cheerful face. “Okay,” you responded, dragging out the word with a sigh.

“You wanted my attention,” he reminded you, “now good luck getting rid of it.”

“I don’t want rid of it,” you spoke through a pout, the man chuckling.

“Good,” he grinned before placing a kiss to your temple. “Oh, but first,” he said almost giddily, “do you have your phone? I left mine on the couch.”

“Why?” You asked hesitantly, pulling the phone out of the hoodie pocket, holding it up for him to take. He easily typed the passcode in with one hand, opening up your music app.

“Donny Hathaway or John Lennon?” He asked, you gasping in surprise.

“Tae, no,” you whined, the man gigging behind you.

“Pick one,” he insisted.

With a groan, you lightly bit his wrist that was slung around your chest. “Hathaway,” you relented, Taehyung smiling against your temple as he searched up Donny Hathaway’s cover of ‘Jealous Guy’, a song all about letting your insecurities make you jealous, causing harm to your lover. The song was actually pretty heavy in meaning, but you and Tae had used it in the past to poke fun at yours and his jealous tendencies. It was a way to make light of the situation and turn it into a joke as a means to move past it.

“I was dreaming of the past,” Taehyung sang next to your ear, you elbowing him gently in the ribs, the man giggling as he pressed a series of kisses to your cheek. “I love you,” he told you once more.

“I love you more,” you replied.

As he started the dishes, you standing between him and the sink making the task much more difficult than it needed to be, you were reminded yet again how lucky you were to have someone who made it so easy to forgive, easy to forget. By the time the dishes were all washed, the front of your hoodie was soaked and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. And your heart? Well that was full of love for one Kim Taehyung.

[k-sci-janitor]

So I finished DCWT last night and while I know this fic is quote unquote famous and also rightly contentious, I still had some thoughts on it that I wanted to spew out long form style on here, SO-

To be clear, this was a fic I avoided for a LONG TIME

You know when people hype up a thing as like, the pinnacle of whatever? And if you haven’t read it, you’re not a real fan? Yeah well, that was the vibe I got with this dumb fic for a long time while absolutely no one told me that, it was just my dumb brain being judgmental to myself really, lol. Anyway why would I wanna read a fic that famously doesn’t have any tags? I mean, who does that?? Anyway-

So what changed your mind?

Well I watched this wonderful video (everyone, GO WATCH THIS VIDEO) and even tho the creator simultaneously hyped and un-hyped DCWT, it got me intrigued and a little cautious about finally just giving it go. It had literally been sitting on my kindle for months and I just finally decided to see what it was I was missing.

So you got past that opening, huh?

MY GOD. My biggest initial hurtle getting thru this damn thing was just the opening. It was verbose. It didn’t make much sense. It didn’t even seem like this author and I had watched the same movie. Everything about it was off putting and strange and I must’ve picked it up and put it down like 10 times. Don’t do this. I’ve only written a little bit personally but the fastest way I chuck a book/fic/whatever away from me is a terrible opening or like, an opening so fucking confusing that it’s unclear that it’ll get better from here.

So it got better from there?

Okay yes, it did, thank goodness. At a certain point it became more clear and I realized the fic had started with a wildly confusing intro to show, you know, how m e s s e d up they were post-drift, cognitively, emotionally, etc. The story eventually started to speed up and I got engaged with the action and finally I couldn’t put it down. It took a while tho!! But I also HAD to put it down at some points.

Oh, why?

So, remember when I said there was no tags and everything I had gathered about this fic was secondhand knowledge? I didn’t really know how in depth the fic was going to describe disassociation and panic attacks. I don’t mind mentions of these things in other fics I've read but DCWT really delves into them in a way that made me, someone prone to panic attacks, really uncomfortable. It basically just hit a little too close to home for me and I occasionally had to put it down so I could breathe or find myself in a different headspace to be able to read these descriptions. This could easily affect someone else pretty harshly.

And like, I know these descriptions are fictional, they're not going to hurt me but they read real enough to me and they’re happening to a character I care a lot about and it was genuinely distressing to read. I also generally don’t read angsty fics because like I said, I don’t really like thinking deeply about Newt or Hermann having something overtly terrible to their bodies (sorry Kaiju!Newt fans, I get eeked out!!). Sometimes I can handle it if it’s abstract enough but sometimes I can’t. I especially find it hard if it's crouched in something I have personal experience with (the panic attacks, sigh). Tags, people, YOU USE THEM.

So did you even like this fic??? SPOILERS BELOW 👇👇👇

Omg so I actually did. Newt and Hermann’s characterizations were really good. Newt was quite possibly the world’s biggest asshole while I wanted nothing more than to give this Hermann a really big hug. Since this fic is so long, it gets a chance to really hone in on their dynamic and how they care for each other. They literally call each other their "life partners" before they examine if they're actually dating or not. I really enjoyed that a reader could interpret their relationship as ace, it totally works. And I still got my big damn kiss! Jokes that have been building up for like 100k words have an amazing pay off and was super funny to read. Also somehow NO ONE told me about the AI self-driving cars and were my surprise favorite characters. Mako's characterization was also some of the best things I've read about her and I loved her and Newt's relationship a lot.

So it was fine in the end?? MORE SPOILERS 👇👇👇

Well, no, I think I'm just sensitive to the idea that Newt's mind is tearing itself apart due to the kaiju, due to Hermann occasionally taking over, due to his own dumb hang-ups. It's a melancholy read is where I would place it. Their dynamic is difficult and real in it's terror of what's happened to them. A BIG SURPRISE for me was Newt's third drift and the fact the PPDC may or may not have coerced him to do it while he was on anti-seizure drugs?? IT'S REALLY UPSETTING. I don’t like the immediate alienation from the PPDC, I mean, I also don’t like the military but the idea that they would whisk Newt away like that is weird and I dunno. It’s fucked, whatever.

It was just a weird, hard read for me emotionally and I don’t blame anyone who decides to just put it down. And it has SUCH good stuff hidden in there (the AI cars, Hermann buying a Porsche on a whim and being a scary driver, that fucking hair stroking thing) but it’s a roller coaster and I honestly don’t know what to make of a fic that has it’s own PR person to hype it up, lmao.

So what do you recommend?

Approach cautiously! I’ll even make a short list of tags here: Descriptions of epilepsy, seizures, nosebleeds, disassociation, panic attacks, eye damage, hand surgery, Drinking and depictions of drunkenness, underage drinking mentions, implied drugging, descriptions of imagined head surgery, suicidal thoughts.

And hey, you might be a tough guy who reads fucked up fics all the time and I just sound like a wimp here, that’s fine!! I just felt complicated about this fic (liking and hating it, ugh) and wanted to get down what I thought about it while it was fresh. And like, y’all know me, I like cute, fluffy shit where they kiss for the first time or whatever. But I occasionally will dip into scarier stuff. I just don’t know if this is everyone’s cup of tea and wanted to elaborate. 😮‍💨

[yolkyeomie]

After the Bloom | Kim Sunwoo

summary — a flower cannot bloom without sunshine, but maybe too much sunshine could be just as bad. After all, sunwoo feels like he’s been withering away since he met you.

word count — 2.9k words

pairing — sunwoo x female!reader

genre — fluff with a little bit of angst, high school au, friends to lovers(?), sunwoo pines the entire fic I’m so sorry

disclaimer — this was a request that actually got a little out of hand once I actually started writing it 🧎🏾‍♀️ I had fun writing it though so I hope everyone enjoys :D

A large majority of Sunwoo's friend group already knew about his hopeless pining for you, he stopped trying to hide it after a few months. Though it’s not like when he was keeping it a secret that no one had any clues of his feelings. He wasn’t exactly the best at hiding the very obvious burning of his ears and the way his usually sly and know-it-all gaze would soften when he was around you.

They’d often find him hanging around somewhere near you as well, usually a little farther away so you couldn’t hold a conversation with him, and he’d just watch you. Not in a disturbing way or anything, he just liked the way you looked when you were with people you felt comfortable with.

The two of you were friends, don’t get him wrong, but there’s only a sense of moderate friendship with him. You were a close friend of his, but not close enough for you to show all your true colors to him. It made him upset every so often, but he could completely understand why you weren’t as open with Sunwoo as you were with others. He was the same way and his awful little crush on you made it harder for him to willingly open up more as well.

He wished you would take the first step into getting closer to him though, but it was only a matter of time before Sunwoo did it himself. Your grand and wide smile, your light and fluttering laughter, even the mere sound of your voice floating along the air were enough to make Sunwoo urge himself to stop being so hesitant when it came to you. It wasn't like him to stop dead in his tracks and refuse to push forward, but he was nervous. Nervous that when he did take the step over the boundaries the both of you had put up that you'd want nothing more than to be just friends.

Sunwoo didn’t want to be just friends when he crossed those boundaries, but it was more likely than not that you were going to reject him no matter how hard he’d try. There was already someone by your side, Changmin, that you felt comfortable with. He didn’t have mountains and mountains of walls built up around them and allowed you to be as genuine and true to yourself as you wanted. That was something Sunwoo couldn’t exactly do at the moment.

He could see it in your eyes, your smile, your body language, everything. You were set on delivering your heart to someone that wasn’t him and if he confessed now, he’d have the truth blasted in his face stronger than before. Sunwoo didn’t know if he could handle the rejection of such a long time crush.

While Sunwoo understood the situation he was in perfectly, pulling back and away from his slightly brash nature to not make an embarrassment of himself in front of you, his friends didn’t seem to catch the note. In fact, they were probably ignoring it completely.

That’s how he had gotten here, standing outside the venue door where the school was holding their annual formal dressed in an uncomfortable suit and tie and anxiously holding flowers in his hands. It was Kevin’s idea to make Sunwoo go to the formal after learning that you would be attending and it was Chanhee’s idea for him to dress up and sweep you off of your feet. He was so adamant about not going yet here he was, nervously standing outside the door.

“This is stupid, why am I doing this,” he realized, just inches away from grabbing the door handle and walking towards his doom. His friends were setting him up for disaster! You probably weren’t even at the formal anymore, you were rather flaky when it came to gatherings with lots of people. And even if you were you were probably hanging out with your friends and wanted to be with them! You wouldn’t drop everything just because Sunwoo was there, there was no—

“Sunwoo!” The boy snapped his head up, breaking out of his trance to find Eric staring back at him with a wide grin on his face. His eyes dropped to the boy’s hands before letting out a gasp, “how cute, you brought her roses!”

Sunwoo had forgotten about the small bouquet he had brought with him, how he scurried as quickly as he could towards the nearest florist and received a bouquet full of red roses just for you with the last bits of money he had on him. He should at least give these to you so that running all that way wouldn’t go to waste. “Shut up,” he rolled his eyes, ignoring Eric’s teasing smile as he pushed past him into the venue. “I’m just gonna give these to Y/N and leave, that’ll be enough to satisfy Kevin and Chanhee.”

“What? That’s all?” Eric pestered, speeding up so that he could walk side by side with Sunwoo (who was actively trying to lose him). “No talking, no dancing, no nothing? You’re just gonna drop these off and leave?”

“That’s the plan,” he nodded, shooting finger guns at Eric as he turned on his heel to walk backward. “It’s not like I wanted to be here anyway so I’m just going to complete my mission and then I’ll be on my way. Those two can’t yell at me for not doing what they asked when I’ve technically—“

One wrong misstep led to Sunwoo tripping over his own to the feet, losing his balance, and nearly toppling over the unsuspecting person behind him. Eric covered his eyes at the catastrophe, too embarrassed to watch what would happen next, and turned around so he wouldn’t be able to see at all.

Fortunately, Sunwoo isn't the clumsiest of people so he had a rather easy time regaining his balance and keeping the bouquet in his hands from being ruined. Though whoever he had crashed into wasn’t so lucky.

“Sorry I wasn’t watching where I was— Jesus, Y/N!” He yelled, immediately dropping to his knees to help you up. Though you only laughed at his reaction, gratefully taking his hand as he pulled you back onto your feet and off of the ground.

“Surprise,” you grin, the quick turning of your lips making Sunwoo’s heart do flips. “I wasn’t exactly watching where I was going either, so there’s no need to apologize. I was actually looking for you though, Kevin said you’d be here and honestly didn’t believe him so I had to go see for myself and… here you are! You look good.”

“Of course I do,” He replied, trying to ease himself into the casual banter the two of you usually indulged in. Any normal person with a crush would have complimented the person back, but Sunwoo was so obsessed with making his crush not obvious that he wouldn’t even dare to try. After all, who knew what words would fall out of his mouth if he allowed himself to flatter you. “What are you doing out here alone, though? What about your friends?”

“Hm? Oh, I came with Changmin,” you nonchalantly smile, unknowing of the amount of dread and disappointment that filled Sunwoo’s chest at the thought. “He had stepped away for a moment when Chanhee had called him over, so I decided to come search for you then. And look at what he got me!”

You searched around the two of you for a moment before picking up something off of the ground, turning toward him to display the red and pink flower bouquet that had been gifted to you. “Camellias! Aren't they pretty?”

The roses in Sunwoo’s hand began to slide out of his hand as he loosened his grasp, replying with a weak, “yeah, they are.” Why didn’t he think about the fact that Changmin would be at the formal? Why didn’t he think about the fact that he’d be the one to bring you flowers? Why didn’t he think about the fact that you were probably with him and no one else, because you liked him?

Everything that was being said to him was falling on deaf ears, his entire plan to hand you flowers (and maybe even muster up the courage to cross your boundaries) now withering away in his self pity. Sunwoo knew it wasn’t a good idea to attend the formal, he knew he didn’t want to attend at all. This was just as bad as a word for word rejection to him.

“Oh wait, let me go get Changmin!” You gasp, breaking out of your trance of the flowers and smiling at Sunwoo. “I’m sure Changmin would love to see you actively participating in a full event. Wait here, okay? I’m serious, don’t move!”

A bittersweet smile crossed Sunwoo’s face as he nodded. “Of course, I’ll be right here.” He strained the smile on his face for as long as you were looking at him, waiting till you had turned around and turned deeper into the venue to go find Changmin for his smile to drop. Sunwoo was so foolish, letting Kevin and Chanhee fill his head with little fantasies he already knew wouldn’t happen. “I’m going home.”

“What?” Eric piped up, trying to salvage the situation as best as possible. “But… the flowers! You haven’t given them to Y/N, you didn’t even mention the fact that you—“

Sunwoo didn’t listen to him, sliding past the boy without another word and a disappointed expression twisting his facial features. There was no point in staying no matter what anyone would try to convince him otherwise, not when you were with him at least. He had nothing against Changmin personally, but just knowing that he was an active part of your life that Sunwoo wanted had thrown him off. He could feign happiness for as long as he wanted, but Changmin would probably be able to tell when Sunwoo wasn’t enjoying his presence.

He didn’t want to handle that situation, not now, when you were supposed to be having fun with Changmin at the school formal. It wasn’t his place to tread where he didn’t belong anyway.

He pushed the door of the venue open and felt a gush of cold air hitting him immediately, sending shivers down his spine as he closed it behind him. He wasn’t going to enjoy the walk home, the cold temperatures of the night time weather, and the swirling thoughts in his head of how naive he had been prevalent in his mind.

“Ah… I guess I should get rid of these, huh?” Sunwoo mumbled to himself, anxiously ruffling up his hair as he stared at the red roses in his hands. “What a waste of money.”

The boy glanced around before his eyes settled on a steel garbage bin that sat not too far from him. Carefully watching his step, he approached the bin with the roses in hand, ready to trash them away and pretend as he had never bought them in the first place. A little symbolic if you asked him, throwing away flowers like he had to push away his feelings.

“Sunwoo!” His name was called, throwing him off guard and clutching the roses to his chest. He turned around to meet your gaze, watching as you struggled to catch your breath as if you had run all the way here to find him. You leaned up against the door for a moment before finally meeting his eyes, “where are you going? I told you to wait for me to come back.”

“Home,” he admitted, finding no use in lying to you. “There was nothing for me to do here anyway, so I’m going home.”

“Still,” you insisted, pushing yourself off of the door and walking towards him. Your eyes darted between the frazzled bouquet of roses in his hands and to Sunwoo’s lowered gaze, sighing to yourself as you tried to figure out the situation at hand. “You had just got here, you can’t make an appearance and then leave without telling anyone. You could have at least waited till I got back.”

When Sunwoo didn’t respond, you smirked at him, lightly hitting his shoulder as you jeered, “what? Did you get your heart broken by a girl or something?” He held his breath at your question, his brain beginning to run on emergency mode as you slid the roses out of his hand and examining them for yourself. “Woah, you brought flowers and everything… it must have been really embarrassing when she rejected you, huh? Is that why you’re leaving so early?”

Sunwoo hesitated for a moment, “in a sense… yeah, you’re not wrong.”

You gasp at his reply, your eyes going wide as you spoke, “are you serious? You really got rejected? That’s crazy, and at the school formal? Who was it? I’ll go and teach them a lesson for you, don’t even worry about it.”

“Really?” He questioned, leaning up against the bin behind him as you eagerly nodded your head as an answer. “Okay, I tell you then.”

“Perfect!” You exclaimed, ready to defend Sunwoo by any means necessary. “Just wait till I get my hands on her, she’ll wish she never rejected—“

“Y/N.” You stopped in the middle of your sentence, slowly meeting his eyes as confusion crossed your face. He nodded his head again and pointed to you as he spoke, “it’s you, Y/N.”

Instinctively you smiled at him, a strained smile, but a smile nonetheless. “I don’t… I don’t think I’m following?”

“The roses,” Sunwoo explained, gesturing toward the bouquet that threatened to fall out of your hands, “they were for you, I bought them on my way here and I was planning on giving them to you. But then you said that Changmin had brought you to the formal and got you camellias, and you were even hanging out around him. I didn’t want to intrude.”

You were struggling to comprehend the words coming out of Sunwoo’s mouth, resorting to the awkward laughter to fill up the silence between you as you spoke, “what would even you be intruding on, Sunwoo? You wouldn’t be—“

“Do you not like Changmin?” He asked, his eyes growing wider with every second you didn’t answer him. “I thought you liked Changmin, you two are always around each other and are super close to each other so I assumed—“

“—you assumed wrong,” you clarified, “Changmin is like a brother to me, Sunwoo. The only reason we hang around each other so often is that we live near each other and take some of the same classes together.”

“But… the camellias—“

“—are a gift,” you finished, playing with one of the rose’s petals as you tried to understand the boy’s thought process. “They were a gift because yesterday I passed a really big exam I had been studying for weeks. The flowers weren’t for the formal, they were given to me as congratulations.”

Sunwoo stared at you blankly, slowly processing the correct answers to his assumptions. Was that why his friends were so adamant about pushing him towards you? For him to finally shoot his shot with you? Because you didn’t actually like Changmin the way he thought you did, because he had misinterpreted your relationship with him? If that was the case, why didn’t they say anything sooner? It would have saved him so much more time!

“Do you get it now?” You asked him, “we’re just friends, I don’t think I could ever see myself dating Changmin in the first place.”

Sunwoo snapped back into reality upon hearing your voice, “seriously?”

“Seriously,” you nodded, picking a rose out of the bouquet and holding it out to him. You urged him to take it out of your hand and spoke, “now can you please come back to the formal? Everyone’s waiting for you and we wanted to have a fun time together. I was really counting on your arrival too.”

You were waiting for him. You, Y/N, were waiting on Sunwoo to attend the formal after Kevin had opened his mouth and spilled his potential appearance? “Sunwoo?”

“Sorry,” he blurted. You were going to question him on why he was apologizing as there was no need for him to do such a thing when Sunwoo took a hold of your face, pulling you toward him and leaning in to kiss you out of the pure adrenaline that had built up within his body. However, he stopped before your lips could even touch, his breath fanning across your face and freezing in place. You only stared at him wide-eyed, closer to him than you’ve been before.

If only the two of you weren’t so close, crossing the boundaries you had both set in place for each other when you first met, maybe he wouldn’t have caught the way you flushed at his actions or heart how hard your heart began beating against your chest.

“Sorry,” Sunwoo repeated, letting go of you and taking a step back. You weren’t the only one shaken by the sudden turn of events, the boy felt his body tremble against the thought of kissing you right then and there.

He didn’t have the confidence to do that, not here at least, it was only the adrenaline making him move. “I’m sorry, I’ll see you in class or something tomorrow. Bye, Y/N,” He quickly excused himself, not even giving you time to answer him as Sunwoo dashed as fast as his legs would take him. At least he knew now that if he were to ever pull something dangerous like that, you wouldn’t exactly stop him from doing so.

[shreddedparchment]

Pseudo Princess Epilogue

08/21/2020

Pairing: King!Steve x Reader          Word Count: 6,172

Warnings: fluff, talks of sterilization/infertility

A/N: I did promise a surprise. There were some interactions that I wanted to touch on that I couldn’t fit into the last chapter and this just felt right to write. I hope y’all enjoy. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

“What have you decided?” You wonder, adjusting Joseph in your arms as they begin to tire.

“We’re going to adopt.” Nat’s smile is genuine and yet, you find there’s a sadness in her eyes that breaks your heart.

She looks at Joseph and stares at him for a moment before reaching across the small space between your chairs to caress his little cheek.

“May I be honest with you?” You hesitate but know that you need to say this in order for that sadness to leave her eyes.

Of course, her sadness is her own and you might only help relieve it. You cannot chase it away for good.

“Of course.” She takes her hand back to place over yours.

“I am so glad that you have decided not to see the witch.” You sigh. “After having lost all of you for over a year, the thought of losing more time knowing that I would have had it…”

“I know.” Nat interrupts softly, tearing her eyes down to her hand in yours. “James is the same. He told me to choose what would make me happy and for a moment I considered very much going to see her, but the forced look of detachment on James’s face was heartbreaking. I don’t want him to feel as if his opinion does not matter to me.

“If we cannot both be of one mind in this choice then it is a choice that I cannot make. We were both decided on adoption before I remembered the witch’s offer so, adoption is the only choice my heart can bear to make.” Nat’s feelings are genuine, and you can see the decision has lifted weight from her shoulders.

“You have known that you could not have children for years. Is this really what you wanted. Having them naturally?” You probe, already knowing her answer. “You know that Bucky does not and has not cared if you could give him natural born children.”

“Why do you know me so well?” She huffs a small laugh. “I wanted to give him the life he deserved.”

“The life he deserves is the one he chooses, love. And he chooses to be with you, just as you are. For him you are not lacking in anything.” You point out, remembering the look of utter worship he gives her every time they’re together.

“I know.” Nat nods, smiling wide albeit a little resigned. “I don’t think I’ve ever truly accepted that and that’s why I became so fixated on giving him a child born of us both.”

You scoot closer to the edge of your seat, adjusting the sleeping Joseph in your arms. Now that you’re closer, you can wrap one arm around her back a little, bringing your face down and closer to her own.

“We all love you, Nat. Just as you are. Any child you raise would be lucky to have you as a mother. I know I’ve said it before, but I cannot impress upon you the sincerity of what I say. Trust me. You are perfect to us. If not the world, then to Bucky and myself. And isn’t that enough?”

Her eyes begin to water, and you have the sudden urge to hug her. Before you can, the door to your sitting room opens. Quickly you wipe away the two tears that roll onto Nat’s cheeks as Peter freezes, his eyes wide with surprise. He’s still got his arms extended, feet still in mid-step.

“Oh,” He gasps. “I’m…I didn’t know you were in here your Majesty. I’m so sorry.”

“Peter!” You exclaim, happy to see him.

His face changes, a wide smile replacing the look of shock on his face.

“Hi.” He replies simply, moving towards you as you rise to your feet and with Joseph carefully balanced in your arms, you wrap Peter up in the other.

“It’s so good to see you. When Steve told me you’d left for Father’s castle I was saddened to be denied our reunion.” You chuckle, trying to keep Joseph as still as possible despite knowing that he will not wake even should you need to grab a sword and fight some random attacker.

“I’m sorry, I had to deliver Steve’s invitations for the feast he has planned for when the estate is completed. Only a few weeks now.” Peter says proudly as you pull back to get a look at his face. He seems to be getting taller still. Just over a year and you’re shocked by his growth.

He’s much bigger in muscle mass too.

“Invitations, sure.” Natasha teases, fixing him with a knowing look.

Peter seems to deflate by her implications which raises many questions in your own head.

To allay your confusion, he leads you back to your seat and helps you to sit.

“Morgana and I have actually parted ways.” He says simply, his voice serious but not melancholy.

“Oh.” Nat exclaims, exchanging with you a quick look of concern. “I hope that it was nothing that cannot be mended?”

Peter takes a step back and reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck.

“She is much happier with our engagement at an end. If I am honest, we have been growing apart the last several months. She has been busy undertaking King Stark’s training and I have been busy in the villages with minor disturbances from remnants of Hydra and their various factions.

“Our friendship is just as strong as it ever was, but I don’t believe romance will be a part of our future.” Peter sighs upset despite his words of assurance.

“Last I remember your romance was only just blooming.” You lament, hating to have lost out on the beauty of their love growing.

Now it’s gone?

“Yes.” Peter smiles. “I had high hopes for us but I’m certain this is the right choice for us both.”

“Is this a choice you both made?” Natasha wonders, worried for the young guard.

“We spoke about it at length and we’re sure that it’s for the best.” Peter nods. “Do not worry. We are both perfectly fine.”

Containing your frown is out of the question but he does look as if their choice is one of certainty and you can’t exactly contradict them if they have found what is right for both of them. Even if it’s a shame that you won’t have Peter as a brother-in-law.

With no choice but to move on, you let Natasha take Joseph from your arms as she moves him into the crib nearby.

You have one in here and one in your bedroom.

“So?” You begin, sitting back with a small grimace at the pain in your back. “What brings you to my sitting room? I know you did not come to see me since you didn’t know I was in here.”

As Natasha tucks Joseph in, she waits with observant eyes as if she’s still trying to decide if Peter has told you both the truth about him and Morgana.

“I was sent in to fetch your sewing basket. His Majesty said that he wanted to show it to me so that I’d know what to buy.” Peter explains, his brow furrowed as he observes the grimace on your face and the strange way you’re sitting.

The flowing gown you wear—slate blue around the shoulders down to the constricting bodice where it shifts and mixes with the peony pink fabric beneath the sheer top layer that then flows down to end in that same soft pink—puddles around you, soft to the touch.

It’s finer than anything you’ve worn in a while and the corset you’re wearing now forces your back straight once more.

You’d forgotten how uncomfortable the clothing you'd worn as Queen of Broklin could be. It was a hybrid of both pleasure and pain as the soft fabrics felt cool and heaven in touch but the stiff undergarments to help you fit into such fine dresses were forcing your body to readjust again.

The attempt to slouch and lean back against your chair in search of comfort does not go unnoticed by your once personal guard. Now rehired as you have returned.

“Are you in a lot of pain?” He worries, taking a step closer. His fists open and close as if he’s warring with wanting to reach out and help.

Everyone has been so attentive, so careful with you these past few days after your reappearance. It isn’t even so much that the clothing is too uncomfortable. The corset is tight indeed, but you were so malnourished when Steve found you again that your body had rejected all the rich foods that he’d sent for.

It wasn’t until Natasha thought to bring you simple unseasoned fish, vegetables, and plain water instead of wine that you managed to eat and retain the nutrition. Slowly they added saltier meats and seasoned vegetables and after five days of no missed meals, you were feeling stronger and more like yourself.

The only thing that weighs heavily on your mind still is your son. So much smaller than your daughter was at his age, or so Steve says.

Your husband cried into your chest for that first torturous night. Blissful yet painful. You were all so happy to be back together, finally you were all complete. The piece of yourself that you’d felt was missing had returned in you both, and still it was not enough.

It was excruciating to see your baby girl so grown. Walking, however clumsily, and talking. Her eyes when she sees you are full of confusion. There is no recognition there. Your heart breaks for the bond that you’ve lost.

For Steve, it was the sight of you and Joseph so feeble. So hungry for care and safety. The jumpiness that you’d developed once more having to watch your every step with Phin and the other village men who’d seen an easy target in an orphaned single mother.

He was devastated to know that you’d suffered the birth of your son alone. He hates to know that you fed on rats in your most desperate hours to keep your little one fed. It tears you apart to see him so agonized over it only to see that even through your efforts your son needed a doctor’s care.

Your body is not strong and because of this, everyone has been vigilant with the slightest change in your mood. Steve and Nat especially. Peter has been informed, clearly.

You meet his eyes and offer a smile.

“No. Not exactly. It’s been over a year. I must adjust again, that’s all.” You explain, refusing to give in to their worries about your health.

You feel much stronger already after less than a week. Your son is also more comfortable and seems to fuss a little more now that he has the energy to do so.

Natasha steps towards you, running her hand along the center of your spine.

“Perhaps I laced you too tightly? Once Peter leaves, I can adjust it and give you some relief.” She offers.

“I’m alright.” You smile, resisting the need to grimace again.

Turning back to Peter, you try to distract them.

“Why have you been tasked with the purchase of a sewing box?” This does the trick and both of them forget your discomfort.

“Oh, well his Majesty wishes to tell you himself. I will tell him you’re here and return as soon as I have what I need.” Peter takes a step back, the eagerness to complete his task pulling him away.

“Very well. Hurry back.” You smile at him fondly, a fond lilt to your words. “I have missed you.”

Peter nods, the corners of his lips turned up as he turns and shuts the doors behind him.

“If you aren’t feeling well, Steve will want to know.” Nat frowns, her hand still resting on your back.

“I’m perfectly alright.” You chuckle, reaching back to take her hand and remove it from your spine. “I would like to take a walk.”

You rise and despite yourself, groan as your body stretches. After so much time sleeping in a lumpy bed of hay, a soft plush mattress feels too firm and soft at the same time.

“Y/N…” Nat chastises.

“My body is sore. I’m not used to these soft beds anymore. They feel good when I first lay in them but after a few hours of sleeping my body becomes stiff. It will pass in time, Nat. I promise. I’m alright. Truly.” You walk away from her as you speak, refusing to be stopped and move towards your baby boy to tuck the blanket in around him.

His little crib is the same one that Maggie had slept in when she’d been an infant and your heart fills with warmth that Steve was right and that you would indeed have use for it once again.

Joseph shifts, his little fists flexing open and shutting once again as he coos then sleeps on.

“Will you stay with him?” You whisper, though you don’t need to. Joseph has slept through the worst storms.

“As you wish.” Nat sighs, moving to sit in the chair she’d placed beside him in case you’d wanted to sit down with him.

“If he gets hungry-” You fret.

“I’ll bring him to you.” She promises. “Go, enjoy your walk.”

You leave her in good spirits, feeling free in the safety of the estate walls after so much time spent looking over your shoulder.

Naturally, you allow your heart to lead you and you find yourself at the door to Maggie’s nursery. You can hear Samuel with her, his laugh mixed with her occasional little scream of excitement.

Slowly you open the door, pressing your hand against the wood to keep it as quiet as possible.

You spot them sitting on the floor amongst a pile of pillows that have been strewn across a large thick blanket. The windows on the far side of the room have been thrown open to allow a gentle breeze to cool the room.

Sam holds a luxurious doll made of soft fabric against his leg, his body relaxed as he leans against the wall beside a small shelf full of other toys made of wood and clay. There are other dolls too.

In front of him sits your toddler, her hands wrapped around a large green leg.

With a gasp you push the door open and stop to find Hulk sitting on the other side of the room taking up almost all of it. His arms are casually resting against his knees as your little girl giggles and reaches around to pinch Hulk’s massive calf.

He growls and she laughs again. Then Hulk laughs, and claps his hands twice shaking the entire room.

“Ha-ha!” He says with amusement in his eyes. “Princess laugh funny.”

You look to Sam, uncertainty gripping your chest and he rises then hurries to meet you by the door.

“Your Majesty.” He bows his head, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “Don’t be alarmed, they do this often. He won’t hurt her.”

“Queen Flower!” Hulk shouts, raising his hand to wave then points down at your daughter. “Look! Little Princess laugh funny.”

He lifts his massive leg, taking her with it as she sits on his foot and hugs him tighter. As he drops it, she giggles once.

“Do thing, Princess! Make Hulk angry again.” He orders her and like an obedient puppy, she reaches around and pinches his leg again.

Hulk growls. She laughs. He laughs and claps.

The sight, while frightening at first, fills you with joy.

Your little girl has been happy! You’re so grateful to all of them.

“She likes Bruce too, but she and Hulk have this connection that’s hard to argue with. We can’t keep them apart for long.” Sam explains.

“I’m glad.” You nod.

“He takes care of her. When she cries, he gets upset and won’t stop slamming his fists until she stops. That’s how this began.” Sam gestures at them as they continue to play.

“She was crying?” You fret, watching your little girl for the telltale signs that she had been shedding tears.

“She misses Steve. She cries at least once every time he has to meet with anyone for an extended period of time with affairs of the Kingdom. They’ve been attached at the hip since you disappeared.

“I think he clung to her so tightly because he sensed you in her. He was happy to be with her but he knew that something was missing. We all did, only most of us assumed it was Margaret.

“Steve even insisted once that it wasn’t her and that there was someone else that should be at his side. But he went to sleep and we ignored him. We assumed he was merely distraught. When he woke the next morning, he seemed to have forgotten his theory and we thought we were wise to move on.” Sam smiles, shrugging his shoulders as he fixes you with his sheepish grin. “Sorry.”

You and Steve haven’t talked much about your time apart that does not involve the children. Hearing that he'd felt as lost as you had during your separation eases the small bit in your heart that still wonders if Steve is truly in love with you.

“It’s of no importance.” You assure him. “We are together again now. That’s all that matters.”

“Maggie, look who’s here.” Sam calls to her, waiting for her to exclaim in delight at the sight of you.

While you know better.

As you expect she turns to look at you, her little eyes searching your face for recognition and it comes slowly. It isn’t the recognition of a mother yet but she still releases Hulk's leg and with unsteady feet rises and wanders over towards you.

“Hello my sweet flower.” Your heart expands at least fifty sizes—no, a hundred!—as you squat down to be closer to her.

She stumbles as she reaches you but falls into your arms with a giggle that you echo as you wrap your arms around her and lift her to your lap.

She's still so small. A baby. Your baby.

“I was just about to go take a walk in the garden. I want to see all the pretty flowers that your papa planted. Would you like to come with me, little flower?” You wait as she watches your mouth when you’ve finished speaking.

Her own moves silently as she reaches up to fidget with her ear as she thinks about it.

You’ve spent as much time as you can with her these past five days and because you’re in her places of home—her Papa's bed, his presence every moment that he can spare, at his dining table right beside him, in the bath while he sits with her in his lap and the two of you talk.

You’ve bathed her with you and tucked her in. Kissed her cheeks and chastised her when her tantrums grew insolent.

You have made yourself a thorn in her side but a place to seek comfort too.

So, when she turns back to you and places her little hands on your cheeks before wrapping them around your neck, you are ecstatic.

Sam helps you to your feet as Hulk rises and grumbles.

“Queen Flower steal funny baby. Hulk hate Queen Flower!” He says passionately before giving a great hurumph and springing through the large open window.

You watch him go with your mouth slightly open. Maggie turns to wave as Hulk disappears and Sam shakes his head.

“Ba-ba-ba!” Maggie calls out after him, her little hand limp as she swings her arm up and down.

“He doesn’t really hate you. He tells all of us that when we take her.” Sam relays and you’re surprised to feel a wave of relief that Hulk is also just throwing a tantrum.

“I’ve left Nat with Joseph while he sleeps. Will you tell her to bring him down when he wakes? I’d love to have them together. She’s still unsure of him I think.” You’ve noticed your little girl is jealous when Steve holds your son and you want them to love each other despite their time apart.

“Of course. Enjoy your walk, your Majesty. I’ll send a guard down for you as well. Steve would not like you two out in the gardens by yourselves.”

“Thank you, Sam. Are you ready my princess?”

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been nearly four hours of warm morning sun spent with your daughter in the fragrant peony garden that Steve had built in the estate gardens.

Waves of pink sway in the sultry summer breeze and Maggie’s little legs falter as she inches towards you, her small fist rubbing sleepily at her eye.

She’d spent the morning running after you, giggling loudly before screaming with excitement. She’d fallen many times, then risen and continued the chase. You’d let her catch you and fall to the ground to embrace her before she squirmed from your arms to indicate your turn to chase.

Her adorable antics were topped when she managed to crawl underneath your skirts, painting the bottom her dress—which once again, matches your own just as they had before you’d lost time—green as she rolled around on the soft pea-green blades of grass.

When she tired you two sat in the shade of a large oak giving you a much-needed respite from the blazing sun. She was up after only ten minutes, however. Energetic baby that she is.

All the while, at the edges of the tall blue hydrangea and wine butterfly bush, just out of sight is your guard. Five men circling the outside of the long garden. Out of sight so that they do not disturb you and Maggie though often you catch them peeking over the hedge to catch glimpses of the little miss.

She’s just as popular as she was before you lost her.

Halfway through your walk, Natasha joins you with Joseph. A blanket spread out beneath the oak where she’d sat with him while you played with Maggie.

Stopping, you admire her as she walks towards you. She’s the spitting image of her father and when you’d once thought her lips resembled your own, you can now see that she’s turning into Steve more and more every day.

“Muh-muh-muh…” She mumbles, and your heart skips a beat. “Muh-muh…”

As she reaches you, she lifts her arms towards you, her little rosebud lips fixed into a cranky pout.

“Oh, my sweet girl.” You gush, ducking down to pick her up before you cradle her against your chest. She’s heavy compared to Joseph but you don’t care. You will suffer through aching arms to hold her close.

She immediately lays her head on your shoulder and wraps her arms around her neck again, her eyes closing as you caress the back of her head tenderly.

“Were you attempting to call me ‘Mama’?” You whisper, but she’s already asleep.

With her dozing, you move back towards the oak where Joseph lays on his back playing with his feet.

“Are you hungry?” Natasha wonders, already pushing up onto her knees and grabbing her skirts in preparation.

“A little.” You confess, but I can wait until Maggie wakes before we head back inside.”

“Would you like Steve to kill me for not feeding you?” Nat walks to meet you and then reaches to caress Maggie’s head as she stops beside you. “I’ll see what I can find for us. Will you be alright with them both?”

She seems to really be worried about whether you can handle your children alone and perhaps if you were at your strongest you’d be offended, but you take her words for what they are—love for you.

“Of course I can.” You assure her. “Maggie’s asleep.”

She tilts her head quickly, looking skeptical before she turns and leaves for the house.

As you approach your little boy who has taken to a constant cooing, you wonder how you’ll manage to put Maggie down beside him when you hear a call from the garden gate.

“Y/N!” He calls, deep but vibrant.

His voice is like a siren’s song and you stop and turn without hesitation.

Steve. Your heart is suddenly pounding and you’re eager to see his beautiful face.

As you turn to look, he’s already close, turning his sprint into a jog. His lips are stretched into a happy smile. His eyes are bright, blue as storm clouds, but happy to see you. No, ecstatic. No, he’s full of life at the sight of you, looking as if he’s just quenched a terrible thirst.

“I’ve been all over the estate looking for you.” He gives one long inhale and a quick exhale of breath as if he’s only just catching it.

Had he literally run around looking for you?

“I’m here.” You return his smile. “With our little ones.”

Steve’s cheeks blush a vibrant pink before he takes a half-step towards you and leans in, wrapping his right arm around your waist as he rushes to meet your lips with chaste but hungry kiss.

There’s a need behind his lips that doesn’t equate to desire, and you wonder what it is that he’s searching for.

For you, the press of his mouth against your own sends rapid flutters from your toes to the top of your head making all of your thoughts fuzzy.

As he pulls away, he places both hands on either side of your face. His thumbs are a gentle caress against your skin. His eyes devour your confuddled expression, a look of amusement turning his lips up once more.

“I missed that expression.” He tells you and embarrassment makes you huff a small laugh.

“You’re impossible.”

Steve chuckles.

With your greeting out of the way, his eyes find the baby in your arms then the one on the blanket.

Joseph has also spotted him and has taken to kicking in excitement, his little eyes wide and his mouth a small o as he spews out more goos and coos.

“Did my princess fall asleep?” Steve reaches for her, expertly taking her from you she doesn’t even stir.

“We’ve been out here all morning.” You tell him and with your arms free, you quickly move to Joseph’s side, grabbing him and sitting him upon your lap so that he might look at his papa with more ease.

It only makes him kick faster and you chuckle as he squirms.

“I think your prince would also like your embrace.” You adjust him again, a sigh of relief escaping you after your laugh.

It doesn’t escape Steve’s notice. As he sits himself down on the blanket with you, he places Maggie beside him, stroking her chest to make certain she remains asleep.

“You’re tired.” He frowns but takes Joseph when you lean over and offer him.

He places him between his legs facing him, but when he whines and leans towards him with his little arms reaching, Steve picks him back up and gives him his all his attention while he waits for you to respond.

“We have been enjoying the length of the garden.” You explain, scooting closer to Maggie and moving the hair away from her little face. “Which reminds me, why was it that you made a peony garden even when you did not remember me?”

Steve turns to you, allowing Joseph to push against his lap with his little legs, then looks up towards the branches while he thinks.

As his mind wanders, you admire the sight of him. He looks regal in his short-sleeved cream-colored tunic, the neckline high with tan embroidery along the edge of the seam at the front. It leaves his muscular arms exposed, sinew shifting beneath the smooth golden peach of his skin as your son kicks and Steve keeps him rooted to his spot.

His hair is short once more, trimmed for the heat of the season but his beard is as thick as ever.

Brown trousers and dark brown boots complete his casually regal look and he has never looked so good.

“I don’t think I could properly explain it. The garden back home was full of them around Margaret’s—that is, your pavilion. I knew it as Margaret’s with my memory of you gone.” He fixes his words though you feel only the faintest of shifts in your gut of the old jealousy and resentment you’d felt at the mention of Margaret. “I had no memory of changing her flower for them, but I knew that the reason for it was vital. Then as time went on, I craved the scent of them. Maggie and I would spend hours in your garden. I think even she felt your absence. She was more peaceful whenever we were there where the flowers reminds us both of your pleasing scent.”

You laugh, unable to help yourself.

“What?” Steve turns to you, adjusting Joseph in his arms as the little one tires out and yawns. With his little head resting against Steve’s chest, he begins to drift to sleep. “Why are you always laughing at the things I say?”

You take a few more moments to let the laugh flow, then shake your head.

“I’m not. I’m just…I only began to use scented oils and soaps when I accepted father’s task to marry you. If you want a true example of what I smell like, think back to the moment you met me on the road just days ago.” You explain.

Steve thinks back, the small crease between his eyes deep as he tries to remember.

“You smelled like hay. A little bit like sweat and earth, but also like Joseph. But there was also the scent of peonies in your hair, despite what you say. Perhaps it has become engrained into your very being after soaking in so many baths with it.” Steve smiles, his eyes glazed over as if he’s thinking about it.

The shift of his lips is a little coy, and the pink tint returns with vibrancy to his cheeks.

“Why are you blushing?” You narrow your eyes at him, certain you know exactly what it is he’s thinking.

“I’m not blushing.” He shakes his head, a look of denial plastered across his chiseled features.

“You are. How can you think of me in the bath with our children sleeping right beside us?” You demand, your face fixed into mock shock.

Steve blinks, at a loss at your accusation because it’s probably true.

“What? I am not-I don’t-I haven’t-You don’t-” He sputters, flustered by your flirting.

You chuckle and refocus on your daughter, admiring the way she breathes as she sleeps while thinking with amusement about the amount of times you’ve bathed with your little ones since returning and Steve having joined you often.

“Your Majesties!” From the garden gate Peter rushes, one arm wrapped around a wicker basket, the other carrying a rectangular box sealed with twine.

That must be the sewing kit.

“That took you all morning.” You observe as he approaches then stops at the edge of your blanket and gives you both a quick bow.

“Yes, I wanted to be sure I purchased the correct one.” Peter explains, but Steve’s eyes are on the basket.

“What is that?” He gestures at it, then fixes his gaze on the young knight.

“Oh, Natasha sent me with a lunch. Cold meats and a few mince pies. There’s a jug of wine and a gourd of water in there for her majesty.” He holds it out and Steve takes it, placing it near you.

“Eat.” He says simply. “While you can do so comfortably with the children sleeping.”

He’s probably right. You begin to pull the food from the basket and portion it out onto two small wooden plates Natasha had placed in the basket.

“Where shall I put the kit, your Majesty? The den?” Peter wonders, holding the box with both arms now that they’re free.

“Yes, that seems-” He begins but then stops as the heavy sound of a guard’s armor approaches.

All of you turn to look in his direction.

Behind him follows a girl who looks to be about Peter’s age. Her beauty is undeniable though she walks awkwardly in the simple gray gown she wears. It isn’t anything fancy but probably the nicest dress she owns.

Still nicer than anything you ever owned before you married Steve.

Her hair is long, falling to her waist in a stunning number of braids. Her brown skin shines golden under the summer sun, her eyes a sharp inky black yet wider than normal with the nervous energy you can see flowing through her. Although her facial features are small, they’re also sharp, brows wide and angular.

“She’s finally here.” Steve exclaims, making to rise before he realizes that he’s still cradling Joseph to his chest and sits back down.

“Your Majesty, this girl says she is here for a job?” The guard offers, and gestures to the lovely young lady at his side.

“Yes, thank you. You may go.” Steve dismisses him and waits for him to depart before he addresses the girl. “Hello again, Miss Jones. You’re right on time.”

Miss Jones takes hold of her skirts and quickly ducks into a curtsy as if just remembering she should be doing so.

“I hope I am not intruding.” She says nervously.

“Not at all.” Steve nods. “This is my wife and Queen. You will report directly to her from this day forth.”

“What?!” You gasp, so surprised your smile vanishes. “Report to me?”

“I have hired Miss Jones to assist you with the children. She will be your second lady in waiting to assist you when and if you should need someone and Natasha is not around or has other things to do.” Steve says pointedly. “You shall do whatever her majesty requires but she’s awfully selfless and terrible with implementing her authority so you might have to read into her needs a bit more than I made it sound like when we met before.”

As all of you look back to Miss Jones, you find that she’s still in her curtsy, her legs probably shaking as she teeters from side to side.

“Y-you don’t have to keep bowing.” Peter tells her and she snaps out of it, nearly toppling over as she stands up straight.

“Right,” Miss Jones says, now standing awkwardly before she decides to give you all a tight anxious smile. “I will do everything I can to serve you with honor, your Majesties.”

Steve looks pleased and after a few more moments of considering the girl, you relax.

“Thank you.” You nod. “I will do my best to be as little a burden as I can be.”

“See?” Steve shakes his head and Miss Jones smiles a little more genuinely. “For now, I think you should rest. You must be tired after your journey. Tomorrow you may commence your duties but for now, Peter? Will you show Miss Jones to her quarters?”

Miss Jones curtsies again as Peter bows. “Yes, your Majesty.”

“Thank you, your majesties.”

For a moment they both stand there awkwardly, waiting for the other to walk. Peter gestures towards the estate and Miss Jones seems to turn but is uncertain if she should. As he begins to walk, she gathers her skirts a bit so that she might walk beside him with steady feet.

You watch them steal several glances at each other. Miss Jones especially watches Peter with an uncertain but curious gaze.

“Oh, this is for you.” Peter tells her and holds out her sewing kit.

“Thank you.” Miss Jones says, taking the box.

“I can carry it for you.” Peter offers.

“Oh…” Miss Jones hands him the box again and they walk on.

As they reach the garden gate, their voices are faint, but you can just make out what they’re saying as they disappear through the hedge.

“Your gown is lovely.” Peter tells her, nervous for a moment as he offers the compliment.

“Would you like to borrow it?” Miss Jones asks, her face serious as she awaits his answer.

“What?” Peter stops walking, fixing her with a dumbfounded look.

“A jest.” She tells him, stopping too.

“Oh.” Peter smiles and nearly laughs but continues to walk. “Right.”

Miss Jones smiles. “Yes. It wouldn’t fit you. Your shoulders are too wide.”

“What are you smiling about?” Steve wonders, pulling your attention away from Peter and Miss Jones while he lays Joseph down beside Maggie.

You offer him a plate of food, shrugging as your smile grows wider.

“Life has a strange way of giving us just what we need when we need it.” You realize, looking at all three of the loves of your life.

“Just as life brought you to me, do you mean?” Steve nods. “Yes. Just what I needed.”