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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years

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The Princess of the Prom (Teen Sam Drake x Reader)

A/N: This was offered to me as my friend's ( @xxgoldenhour) fantasy and I promised her, that this would be the sweetest shit she'll see. Also, you don't have to win prom's tiara to be the queen for me. And it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. You're the king or queen of your Prom night.

Also, take a note that this is a modern AU. Let's say that it happens today and that Samuel is aged around 19, so that makes Nate a fourteen-year-old boyo and that reader is around 18.

Description: Y/N and Sam were the best friends of high school, no denying in that. Even tho Samuel's Prom was actually amazing and fun, Y/N doesn't feel good about going on her own.

Mood for this one-shot: Night go slow by Carey Shaw, bcs the video is so good and she just got the vibe of being young, amused and in love.

It was all set up to be the best evening of her life. No. Not only the best but the best and the most perfect one. That was Samuel's first and last priority - set all up, prepare anything, get sure that there's a backup plan even if an asteroid hit the earth's ground - he managed to make everything she wanted just to make her feel as good as he could.

He told her anything she needed to know about the Prom just to make less nervous; there were those jackasses who brought vodka and tried to make punch an alcoholic drink, there were the couples who will make out the whole evening just to strangely disappear on the toilets together, but nobody pushed her to do any of that typical stuff.

This about her and her mates, who were alongside her the whole time. This was a celebration of them making such a huge step in their lives. He had his year ago, at the same high school and Y/N was there alongside him, and for him, it was the best evening of his life.

But as her prom was coming to play sooner and sooner, she was more and more nervous. He was practically woman's best bridesmaid because he got into preparations really hard and he didn't leave out anything. Her parents found it really sweet of him, but he always said that it's a sure thing for him to do all of that.

He even borrowed a nice black car from one of his friends' dad, planned the route to pick up all of her friends... You know, that boy was probably stressed about this far more than Y/N.

And the evening slowly came. It was a warm, spring-summer night with the vibe of the real summer slowly approaching. He came exactly on time, with a borrowed tuxedo in a protecting barrier put on his shoulder and with a cigarette in his mouth.

His brother was alongside him, drinking an ice tea in a cup bought in a nearby Taco Bell. Samuel didn't want to left him all alone at their place, so he asked Y/N's parents if he and Nate could stay overnight and they didn't seem to have a single problem with that since he was taking so much care about Y/N.

Y/N's brother Zachary was sitting in the armchair on the terrace and playing video games, so Samuel knew that if something, Nathan is not going to be alone. They weren't the best friends exactly, but they were pretty good pals.

As Samuel knocked on her door, she was already opening it. She looked as gorgeous as ever with a baseball team dres they bought together and in some shorts she wore only at home. Her other best friend, Crystal, was already there and helping her with the preparations; Y/N's hair had some curlers in as Crystal was trying to style her hair into a messy bun and she already had some makeup on; especially the highlight made her face look sharper and he liked how the little crystals in it reflected the light around.

Nathan liked her, she wasn't a person whom he held himself back in front of, so he fist-bumped her with a booming sound. “You look so weird,” Nathan laughed. Y/N rolled her eyes backward and grinned at Nate as she was turning back to lead them into her room.

“Well, you are definitely a ladies man, aren't you? I mean, you can make a girl feel so confident with one sentence,” she laughed as she bumped into him, tousling his hair. Nathan leaned from her as he grinned as well.

“I didn't mean that you don't look good, Y/N. I just haven't seen you wearing makeup or whatsoever, like I mean, nevee” Nathan turned his head to Sam with a wicked look. “But Sam seems to like it.” He added and then he said hi to Crystal.

She was sitting in front of a big mirror, braiding her hair into a really complex hairstyle. Crystal's eyes shined like stars when Samuel came to Y/N's room, slowly putting his tuxedo on Y/N's bed.

Everyone who wasn't blind knew, that Crystal had a thing for Samuel. And it wasn't a single thing. She was straightaway worshiping him like a fucking god. And even tho Y/N was the one whom Samuel could barely exist without, everyone thought that the right choice would be Crystal; she had the longest legs around, big smile full of the whitest teeth and she was blonde, one of the typical Plastic beach girls.

“Hey, Nate!” Crystal exclaimed in a thrilled and tone. “And hi, Sammy!” She yelled in a seriously high tone and practically jumped into Samuels' arms. Y/N and Sam grinned at each other. To be honest, everyone was expecting Sam to go there with Crystal and yet, he surprised everyone when he told them that he's going with Y/N actually. Crystal was hurt and jealous, yet she couldn't blame Y/N, because they were good friends since they met. Everyone left out a long sigh when Crystal accepted an invitation from a quarterback of the year, Terry Banks, with whom they went on the classes of Literature and Astronomy, where Y/N and Crystal ended up because Y/N loved the stars.

Sam let her go and gave Y/N a small bag.

“Oh, what could it be?” Y/N asked in an amused tone as she moved like a cat, dramatizing the whole situation even tho she knew that Sam gave her corsage.

“Can it be the gun which killed John Lennon?” Samuel furrowed as Y/N was about to continue.

“Or is it a bomb?”

“Or a weapon against vampires?”

“You're so silly!” Crystal shouted as she snatched the bag, taking the corsage out. It was truly beautiful, made out of lightly rosy roses and baby's breath and some small, wildly green leaves on an elegant black stripe of semis. And of course it matchet Samuel's boutonniere. “Its a corsage. And it's truly... Beautiful.” Crystal said with a tone of being hurt in her voice, giving Y/N the small box.

Y/N and Sam were all about that weird jokes, theatrics, and fun, just not taking anything too seriously. But a Crystal wasn't the brightest, per se, so she often ruined the magic of the moment.

“It is,” Y/N said quietly as she watched the small thing made from flowers, making them an official Prom couple. Samuel really spent a lot of money to make her evening nice, not like that Y/N's parents weren't paying anything, but the corsage was paid by him. “But you have to go now, we will be getting dressed.” Y/N left the small plastic box on her desk and nudged into his shoulder to make him leave. Sam just raised his hands as if he was showing that they are completely empty and left with an amused grin.

It took them forever. At least for him. He found himself a bathroom comfortable enough to dress into that tuxedo and even to make himself look like a human and even tho it took him at least twenty minutes, you two were nowhere to be seen. Crystal's laugh could be heard as Y/N said something utterly stupid, as always. He sat on the ground in front of her room, watching his wristwatch and playing with his hair, making it messy again.

The door opened all of a sudden as Y/N was turning her head to Crystal just to say something to her. Samuel was on his feet in a second, playing with his fingers as he watched her. She was beautiful. Breathtaking. He inhaled sharply and his cheeks got rosy as he tried to come it with something to say except 'You're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen' and 'If we were thirty, I would ask you to marry me', but nothing came up, so he rather shut up and just watched her.

Her hair was really in a curly, loose bun and now, she had long earrings smoothing over her neck. Her dress were tight around her breasts and waist, without nothing on the shoulders, but nicely loosed from around her waist to her ankles. They had baby pink, almost beige colour and so she had brigtly beige high heels on.

She must felt him staring, because she looked at him with a blank expression, making him embarrassed. But she shut up and her smile slowly dissapeared as she watched how tightly the tuxedo hugs his shoulders. When they got that huge? Did he worked out without telling her? And the way the trousers hugged his thighs... She wasn't able to spoke up for about a minute.

"See something you like?" Samuel joked with his face still red and Y/N coughed into her palm to release at least a bit of the nervousness inside of her.

"You look... Utterly disgusting, Samuel." She said in an unsure tone and walked right next to him for something, so her parfume hit his nose. He almost collapsed on the spot. When did his best friend, that ugly monster, turned into a breathtaking woman? Why didn't he noticed that? He was glad that she normally didn't wore make up or girly things, otherwise he would have to compete for her attention with a lot of boys. And that was a thing he didn't like to think about liked in general.

Normally, she would wear a high ponytail and a loose baseball t-shirt with a name of some series, band or a movie reference. She was feminine, but in her own way. Not that princess one, she was feminine in a shy, almost uncatchable one. But Crystal was that Barbie feminine type.

She had long, tight, dark blue gown and she was smiling at him, thinking about things she couldn't say out loud. But Samuel was the center of many of them.

Then he put her the corsage and she put a small rose in the pocket on his breast. She looked at him with their typical grin and almost said something about them being so official that they could marry or something, but she didn't say a word.

Her parents took at least three millions photos of them and another three of them with Crystal and then, only them, they were ready to leave. Y/N mum waved at them from the terrace as they were leaving and Y/N with Crystal waved her back.

Samuel drove slow, because he was worried about that beautiful car which weren't his and they picked up another two classmates - Terry and one of his football friends. They were really loud and Crystal laughed at some remark they had.

"Wow, Bryan, look at Y/N!" Terry exclaimed in an excited tone and Samuel hid a smile into his palm. Y/N smiled as she rotated her eyes in her own manner, laughing nervously.

"Y/N," Bryan took her shoulder in his palm and made her look at him. "I never knew that you are a woman. Samuel, you are a one lucky guy, I tell you. Don't let her off your sight, otherwise it's not my fault." He said and Samuel didn't smiled at it, even tho he normally would. He was dead serious at that moment, watching the read.

"Man, don't be like that!" Bryan yelled, laughing. "I was just joking." He smoothed her shoulder and she started laughing as well, which made Sam smile. They stopped on the school parking lot in about ten minutes. Samuel let everyone get off, Terry taking Crystal inside and Bryan waving at his girlfriend Chelsea. Only Y/N and Sam left there, and she was playing with one of the roses on the corsage Sam gave her. She wasn't feeling like it and he would sense if clearly.

"Alright, miss Grumpy, what's the matter?" Samuel leaned into her personal space, letting his elbow lock around her seat.

"I don't feel comfortable. And I might vomit in a minute." She laughed in a sad manner and Samuel looked at how everyone was slowly walking into that building. If she doesn't want to go, then he'll not push her. He can ride them back to her home, watch some movies with her and then sleep on the couch like many times before. If would not be anything new. He liked those evenings a lot, he didn't see any problem with that.

"Well, if you are about to vomit... Don't do it in the car, please, Davie's dad would murder me," he said and that made her laugh again. Samuel loved, when he could make Y/N laugh, because it was so sincere every time. It was sweet and it made him happy as well.

"Oh, that would ease my life so much," she said in a provocative tone and that made him laugh again. And she laughed as well.

"So you don't wanna go, huh?" He smiled and undid his seatbelt, relaxing on the seat itself.

"So I don't wanna go." Y/N repeated mockingly.

"Then tell me, what do you want to do or where to go. Back home?" Samuel asked quietly as if Samuel called her a psycho.

"No! You think that I dress like Crystal just to watch Friends like this?" She yelled with a smile as she wasn't fully serious. "You are an actual moron!" She undid her seatbelt with a wicked smile. And she got off the car, walking away from the school. Samuel locked the car quickly and runned after her, walking next to her backwards.

"Hi there, monster," he cried and cringe-laughed, when she hit his shoulder roughly as she was making her mad face with her little cheeks pumped with air. He was totally unbelievable, but even though he was a lovely little dork. Samuel was taller than her and even tho, Y/N called him small. "Alright, alright," Sam coughed into his palm as he couldn't stop laughing. "Where are we going?"

"I dunno where are you going, dickhead, but there a Taco Bell restaurant just a five minutes from here. I'm going to eat everything there." Y/N rose her eyebrows and Samuel laughed loudly.

"So you can't watch Friends in your prom dresses because they're too good for that, but they are suitable enough for ravaging Taco Bell?" Sam looked at her from his height and she had face of a serial killer. "You should really sort out your values and priorities." He laughed and that earned him another punch to the shoulder.

So Taco Bell was the place where they ended up in. She got some Quesadillas with chicken and cheese, some chocolate sweets and a cup of tea. Sam, who was paying, of course, got himself a burrito and Coke. They sat there for two hours, talking, laughing, topping each other with puns and jokes. They left around nine in the evening, the sun was just setting low and it made her dress look seriously fairy-taily like. He kept his eyes on her all the time. Just as Bryan told him.

"Where we'll go now?" Sam stretched, but she already going to somewhere. So he only followed.

They ended up in a nearby skatepark - and some girls around sixteen tried Y/N teach, how to skate, even borrowed her their shoes, but she was a lost one. He took so much photos and videos of her, a lot of them ending with him cracking up, laughing. She was terrible, but she didn't fall once, which was great. When they were leaving at ten pm, she didn't even put her heels on, she just walked next to him bare, jumping on and off the pavements, walking through the ice cold grass, sometimes holding his hand not to fall.

"So, how's your prom going?" He asked when they were walking down from the aisle from some trees with white flowers on them.

"Oh, it's great," she smiled at him. "I'm dancing, yelling my lungs out, laughing... I'm kidding," she smiled, jumping on another pavement. "I'm glad that I've spended this evening with you." She smiled shyly and sun was shining low in a lightly orange light so Samuel stopped her.

"Go in the middle of the road." Sam asked her and she was confused, but she did it. Samuel took a few photos of her in the sunlight and one of them immediately became his wallpaper. Then she took a few photos of him an some selfies were a necessary thing. The photos were lovely.

They walked almost through the entire city, nobody hurried up anywhere. It started to get cold by the midnight, so Sam covered her in his suit, lightly touching her fingers with his. She was icy cold.

"Oh dear!" He exclaimed and laughed, bringing her hand to his lips, warming it with the air from his lungs. She was looking her in the eyes the whole time. "You haven't told me that you're Elsa. Not yet," Samuel made a remark about her hand and she shook her head.

"And you haven't told me that you're colourblind," she rolled her eyes, slapping his shoulder. "Elsa is blue. I am almost pink. You dork." She slapped it again and left her hand there, which made the difference. Y/N leaned her head to Samuel's shoulder and left it there for a while, smelling his cologne. And she felt his lips in her hair all of a sudden.

"Samuel?" She asked and looked up. "What are you doing?" She said in disbelief, slowly looking at him. She didn't know what to say or how the fuck she should feel; she should be scared or disgusted? She should be glad? Should she just looked over it? Or what the fuck were his intentions?

"What are you talking about?" Samuel smoothed her forehead with his palm and slowly continued down to her jaw, she continued as far as she let him. And Y/N haven't moved an inch. He felt that she felt good doing that. Her eyes were smiling even tho her face was pale in pure disbelief.

What the fuck should he do? What was he supposed to do? Should he just kiss her or lean back and let her be? Should he tell her about his feelings? About those which he discovered five seconds ago? About the urge to kiss her and make her his by that act? He was confused and taken back.

Y/N was his best friend for years now and he never made anything like that, nor even though about it. Maybe the dress caused it, because it made her look seriously hot.

"I-I mean, if, I, oh, I, can you forget what happened?" Samuel stepped away and awkwardly walked from her. And that made her angry; once he looked like he hasn't seen anything as beautiful as her, and the next he chickened out like a little girl. She started to laugh and that made Samuel stop.

"Why-why are you laughing?" He asked annoyed, but Y/N continued to laugh even more after that.

"I am sincerely sorry. You always told me that you are a womanizer, no, no, no, don't you turn away from me, Samuel, the funny part is coming, but when you get the chance to kiss the girl you actually like and care about, you can't move for shit." Y/N burst out again and that made something in him click completely. In a second, her lips crush onto his and her palmed bumped into his shoulder, because he scared her so much. Samuel's hands clumsily held her waist and smoothing it in a non-ofensive manner; not too up because of her breasts and not too down, because of her ass.

Y/N calmed down after a minute, closed her eyes and leaned into him, circling her hands around his neck. Well, she could feel that she definitely isn't his first kiss, but that was the best part. She found his slicked, but messy hair and played with it gently.

They would probably stood there until the morning, but a car's horn made them jump off the road.

"Alright, cowboy," Y/N smiled and took his hands in hers gently. She touched him feather-like, so gently and lightly. "That was a pretty good first kiss."

"First?" He asked playfully, and that compliment made him smile. "So that doesn't mean it was our last one?" He bumped into her hips with his and she almost fell down; she would fall if Sam wasn't holding her hand so firmly. It didn't hurt, but it was firm.

"No, I don't think it was the last one," she furrowed her eyebrows at him like she was thinking about something. "But this," she pointed at him and then she pointed on her torso. "Will upset some people. You prommed last year, you're like my grandad practically." She laughed into Sam's direction.

"Yeah, I am a gross pedophile, that's right." Sam agreed and slowly took her to their car and they drove right to her home.

It was two am when Y/N was about to go to her bed, her hair let down on her shoulders and her make-up was far gone. Samuel left her room few minutes ago and even tho he called her a monster, his eyes were loving and smiling at her. A notification on her phone popped all of a sudden.

She cracked the knuckles on her palms and looked at the phone. It was her Instagram - Sam posted something and tagged her in. She knew that it is going to be that video where she almost fell off that damned skateboard. Even though that humiliation which was waiting for her, she opened the notification.

And she just stayed completely silent with her cheeks burning, watching her face on the display, she was smiling and she was holding his palm as if she was leading him somewhere. And the caption almost made her cry. There was that day's date and a cute little text.

@allaboutthatdrake: After a few years of waiting, it finally happened! Don't let the friend-zone ruin you, because it doesn't exist. 😉

And that was it. They officially started dating. And her prom night was the best night she ever had.

#uncharted #samuel drake #naughty dog #sam drake #young sam #young samuel drake #requested work #this is lovely #enjoyed to write it #prom #prom night #don't worry #you'll win my heart anyways

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trashforhockeyguys · 6 years

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Back To You (7) // Auston Matthews

The next two weeks went by a lot quicker than you thought. Granted, you were working overtime to make sure the new media personnel they hired could handle a road trip without you. And you were also having to tend to Katherine, who was having more than her fair share of wedding jitters.

You’d had to convince her three times in the last week alone that she was making the right decision. Then of course, there was the bachelorette party, you remained the only sober person at that. The day after was spent by you nursing everyone else’s hangover.

The day after that, you spent nearly two hours trying to help Auston pick out the right suit, because heaven forbid he not be dressed right. But you liked the fact that he was trying. In some way, it showed he cared enough. But this was still just a favor, and you knew that.

“Okay, so Jake said you can hang out with the guys before the ceremony,” You informed Auston the night before the wedding.

“It’s that supposed to just be for the groom’s men?” Auston questioned.

“Jake doesn’t care,” You dismissed,” They’re just going to be smoking cigars and drinking, and probably telling Jake he’s about to lose his balls by getting married.”

“Is that what you think? Getting married means losing one’s balls?” You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

“No, that’s not at all what I think. I think it actually takes a ton of balls to get married,” You replied over your shoulder,” But, I know Jake’s friends, and the only married guy in the entire lineup is Jake’s older brother.”

He hummed and stretched out across your bed. You smiled to yourself as you packed up your makeup. You had a small overnight bag sitting at the base of your bed, just with a change of clothes for after the wedding. The drive from the venue wouldn’t be too bad, but you certainly weren’t going to make it in your dress and heals.

You had your back turned to Auston, but you could hear him moving around on your bed, trying to get comfortable. It was weird having him in your apartment, just hanging out. But somehow it was weird in a good way. You liked having him here. He somehow managed to make it feel brighter and warmer.

“So, what does your dress look like?” He asked.

When you turned to look at him you couldn’t help but laugh. You tried to cover your mouth with your hand to stop yourself, but it was no use. He way he was curled up, hugging a pillow to his chest, looked so odd to you.

“Why are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry!” You giggled,” But the way you’re all curled up, you look like a middle school girl at a sleepover.”

He fought back a smile as he lightly threw the pillow at your head. You ducked away from it but lost your balance and ended up falling on the bed right next to him. The both of you were laughing so hard it hurt. It’d been years since you’d laughed this hard with him.

“You’re awful,” Auston laughed, rolling over to face you.

“I’m sorry,” You said honestly.

He groaned and rolled back onto his back. By now it had to be past midnight, you could feel yourself starting to get tired. But you didn’t want to say anything, because honestly you were having too much fun. This was the first night you and Auston actually spent together, just talking and joking around, in a very long time. Even though you knew you’d see him first thing in the morning, you didn’t want him to leave.

“It’s getting late,” He stated,” I should probably head out.”

“Okay,” You yawned, closing your eyes.

He laughed,” Goodnight sleepy head.”

You hummed and nodded. You felt him get off the bed, but soon after he pulled your blankets up over you. Due to the warmth of your blankets, you quickly started to fall asleep. Auston switched the light off and you heard him close your bedroom door. When you heard the front door shut and lock, you rolled over and clutched onto the pillow next to you.

Just as you were finally slipping into a deep sleep you realized something. The pillow smelled like him. In a way, it smelled like home too.

“Have you eaten yet?” Auston asked me as I got into his car the next morning.

“No, I’ve been on the phone with Kath since I got up this morning,” You replied.

“Is she going to go through with this?” He asked.

“Who knows Aus.”

By the time he pulled up to the venue, you were both laughing and jamming out to whatever playlist he’d put on. Auston was fun on road trips. When you were dating, the two of you would often get in the car on an off day and just drive. You both found it oddly therapeutic.

You hadn’t even been able to shut the car door before Katherine was already running towards you. Her hair was up in curlers, and she had a facemask on. You figured she wouldn’t let anyone outside of the bridal party see her like that. But she didn’t so much as bat an eye when she saw Auston.

“Good you’re here. I need you, like right now,” She huffed, then turned to Auston,” Hey Matthews.”

Auston grinned,” Hi Kath.”

“Okay, c’mon,” She grabbed my hand and started pulling me behind her,” The boys are over there!”

You didn’t really have a chance to say anything to Auston. The only thing you could do was awkwardly wave goodbye as Katherine pulled you behind her. You could hear him laughing as you stumbled and almost fell flat on your face.

Once bridal room, you barely had time to breath. You were almost automatically shoved into a chair to get your hair and makeup done. You loved Katherine, and the other cousins that were in the bridal party, but you hated all of the fuss. You understood that this was a huge day for Katherine. One of the most important days of her life. But that didn’t mean that you were thrilled with all of the bobby pins you had shoved into your head.

Thankfully, Katherine had opted to have mimosas while you all got ready. So while one of Katherine’s best friends from high school was close to having a breakdown because her boobs looked nonexistent in her dress, you were sitting in the corner casually sipping your drink.

A Matts: How’re you doing? Need me to rescue you yet?

You laughed and shook your head. Somehow, you imagined Auston might be in a similar situation over with the guys. Except, they were probably bombarding him with questions about the team. Maybe they were all behaving though, but probably not.

I have champagne and Katherine hasn’t tried to run yet. But I swear I have bobby pins actually jammed into my skull.

You glanced up at the girls. The one had finally stopped freaking out, apparently someone convinced her that he ass looked amazing and that was enough. You had to choke back a laugh though. Sure, you liked to be girly from time to time, but you’d never been like this. You figured you had bigger things to worry about.

A Matts: I’m sure you look amazing though.

You laughed and shook your head. Half an hour later, you were in your dress and lined up with the rest of the wedding party. You again had to assure Katherine that she looked amazing, and nothing was going to go wrong.

You couldn’t help but smile as Jake saw Katherine, tears welled up in his eyes. You didn’t think Jake would be one to cry at something like this. Katherine started crying the second they were together. You always thought you’d be in their position by now. You thought you’d be happy and settling down with someone.

Funny how like worked sometimes. Katherine, who was the wildest person you’d ever known, was settling down before you even thought about it. Katherine had been one to say that she wouldn’t get married until she was old, obviously that’s not what happened.

You glanced over at Auston, who was sitting a few rows behind your parents. He smiled and winked at you. The butterflies in your stomach decided to come back full force as you fought off a massive blush.

You could blame it on the mimosas you drank, or the pretty flowers everywhere, or the emotions that were brought on by the wedding, but after that moment you couldn’t stop smiling, no matter how hard you might’ve tried. You tried to ignore Auston staring at you through the rest of the ceremony, but it got harder and harder.

After the ceremony, the whole wedding party was whisked away to take pictures while the guests go to partake in a cocktail party. You normally hated pictures, but you and the rest of the bridal party laughed the entire time. By the time you got into the venue, your stomach was growling.

You and Auston were seated at the biggest table, full of the bridal party, and a good majority of your family. You figured he might tense up, due to how loud your family tended to be and how many questions they liked to ask him. But Auston never missed a beat. He carried on a pretty long conversation with your parents while he ate his dinner.

You were impressed to say the least. It was like he’d picked up right where he left off with your family. No one seemed to bat an eye about his presence. It all felt natural, like it was all meant to be this way.

Your baby cousins, especially the boys, all flocked to Auston. Those who were old enough to remember when you two were dating were thrilled to see him again. Those who were too young thought you were now the coolest person ever, because you knew Auston Matthews. You wanted to commend Auston for how he was handling your thirteen-year-old cousin and his two little brothers, they didn’t look like they wanted to leave him alone anytime soon.

You watched with tears in your eyes as Katherine and Jake shared their first dance. They were whispering to one another and giggling the entire time. Even though you felt a slight ping in your heart, you couldn’t be anything but happy for her. Kath deserved all of this and so much more.

You wondered back to your table, watching as Auston got pulled towards the dance floor by one of the many girls. A few songs in, your youngest cousin, who was also the flower girl, tugged on the leg of Auston’s pants. Even from here you could see how big his smile was as he picked her up. She’d been two the last time he’d seen her.

He swayed back and forth to the music with her in his arms. She giggled and poked his cheek which made Auston make a funny face, making her laugh even harder. Auston glanced over at you and waved the best he could while still supporting the toddler.

“I want to hate that boy, but watching the way he makes you smile, I can’t bring myself to,” Your father said sitting down next to you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about dad,” You shrugged, biting your lip to keep from smiling even more.

He hummed,” He still loves you. You do know that, right?”

“Dad, we’re just friends,” You swore.

“If that’s what you keep telling yourselves,” He shrugged,” But what do I know? I’m just an old man, right?”

“Go dance with mom or something,” You joked, lightly pushing him.

He laughed and stood up, hands raised in defeat. As he walked past Auston, he gave him a pat on the back and told him something. You had no idea what he said, nor did you want to know. Knowing your dad, he was probably telling Auston not to fuck it up again. But the second your dad walked off, Auston put down your cousin and started making his way towards you.

“C’mon, I owe you a dance,” He said holding a hand out.

“Auston,” You whined.

“Nope, you are barefoot so you can’t say your feet hurt,” He objected, “One dance, please?”

You nodded and took his hand. He lead you back towards the tent with the dance floor, which had how quieted down some since a slower song was playing. You rested your hands on Auston’s shoulders as the two of you started to slowly sway back and forth.

You could feel Katherine and Jake looking at you. You even caught sight of them over Auston’s shoulder, giving you a thumbs up like you were at prom slow dancing with your crush for the first time. You would’ve laughed had you not suddenly remembered what your dad had said not ten minutes before.

“You took your hair down,” Auston suddenly noticed, toying with one of your curls.

“Technically I kept part of it up,” You mentioned,” But all of the bobby pins were giving me a headache.”

“I like it like this, actually,” He told you,” It looks more like you.”

You swallowed hard. You could feel your face heating up. You’d never been one to take compliments well, add on the fact that Auston was the one dishing them out and you’d probably be dead by the end of the night.

“I’m glad you came with me,” You told him quietly.

“So am I.”

#auston matthews imagine #auston matthews imagines #auston matthews #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #tml #toronto maple leafs imagine #nicolewritesthings

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seventeen-scenarios-blog · 7 years

Text

Ain’t No Holler Back Girl

Genre: Crack; just full on crack I apologise

Words: 5.4K

Warnings: Genderbending, some allusions to the male reproductive organ i guess, too much crack

A/N: this was finished 6-7(?) months ago, and I’ve been hoarding it like my own baby because I wasn’t ready to let anyone see it, but ;;;; promised the other admins it’ll be up on Christmas Day and guess who forgot about it anyway 0/ Merry Christmas everyone 🙆🏼

- admin hoshit 💕

Seungcheol is the first to turn. He wakes up the earliest, and prepares to wash up first to avoid the early morning bathroom rush that is expected of a dorm with thirteen people and two bathrooms, and steels himself for the war that is waking up his twelve charges. Especially Jihoon, the boy had a tendency to roll himself back into bed, even after washing up. It did not help that most of the older boys let him get away with it, content to coo at him like he was a child (he really was one to them, although they would never admit it).

Seungcheol rolls out of bed, narrowly avoiding a sleeping Jihoon, and stumbles onto his feet. Strange, he was off-balance and his chest hurt the moment he stood. There was also an inordinate amount of hair on his head, and he resolves to punish whoever put the black haired wig onto his head while he was sleeping. He tugs, and it hurts his scalp so much, and he changes plans. Punish? No, he was going to murder whoever glued the wig onto his head.

Seungcheol shuffles into the bathroom and looks into the mirror, hand already tousling his hair in attempt to find the ends of his real hair and the start of the wig, when he catches sight of something in the mirror, and stops.

“What.”

There were two mounds on his chest. Are those boobs, Seungcheol wonders, a little hysterically. I may be dying, but at least I’ll get to feel some before I die. He panics, and sticks his whole hand down his pants in an effort to get a grasp on reality, but finds nothing.

Seungcheol screams.

The dorm wakes slowly, Jeonghan muttering to a sleeping Mingyu, “did you hear a girl scream or was it my dream?” To which Mingyu mutters, “there are no girls on the Internet”, and Jeonghan gives up on him entirely.

The boys gather in the kitchen twenty minutes later after washing up in the only toilet available since one was “locked and Seungcheol hyung is definitely in there doing God knows what”, at that point a sleepy Jisoo smacking Seungkwan for Taking The Lord’s Name in Vain. From the corridor, faint thudding sounds are heard, a bedroom door slams shut and then some muffled, strangled screams.

“Seungcheol, if you’re going to have a Mental Breakdown at 8 in the morning please do so quickly and come down for breakfast, the babies are waiting!” Jeonghan calls out serenely, hands mixing pancake batter without stopping.

A bang, as if someone kicked a wall, and then a dark figure appears in the kitchen doorway, hoodie on and pulled so tightly shut only a nose can be seen. The figure drags a chair out and sits with a distinct huff.

“Is Seungcheol hyung okay,” Mingyu attempts to whisper but the task is too difficult for him, his words echoing throughout the kitchen. Chan winces, ready for a reprimand from the leader followed by some play-wrestling, but the leader figure is still.

“Seungcheol?” Jeonghan is concerned at this point, passing the pan to Mingyu who takes it without complaint.

Jeonghan walks to Seungcheol and attempts to remove the hood and check on him, and Seungcheol fights him to keep it on but his efforts are futile, in the scuffle his hoodie is yanked downwards and long lashes, doe eyes and long black hair is revealed.

“GIRL IN THE KITCHEN!”

The top-naked boys scramble to find coverings, various interpretations of apologies shouted as they run, and strangely enough a Cantonese one coming from Junhui, who is cowering under the table.

“Is that Seungcheol’s sister?” Chan whispers to Hansol, who shrugs and continues stealing fried eggs from the stack on the counter.

“Jeonghan ah—” the girl starts, and Jeonghan falls back because that was definitely Seungcheol even with the feminine features.

“Seungcheol?” Jeonghan tries tentatively.

The girl nods.

“Feel my boobs.”

Jeonghan groans in exasperation.

They come up with a plan to claim that Seungcheol was sick to keep the managers in the dark, at least until he gains back his manhood, which they fervently hope will happen as soon as possible.

“What if you masquerade as a guy, Seungcheol ah,” Jeonghan suggests, “we could just cut off your hair and bind your breasts.”

“How would we explain the feminine features and the sudden weight loss though,” Jihoon pipes up, and they are discouraged, reverting back to the Sudden Sickness Really Contagious Can’t Be Seen In Public excuse.

“You know how we always talk about how girls are lucky because they don’t have a weak spot that everyone automatically goes for,” Seokmin starts, “we can test that theory now.”

Everyone simultaneously turns their head to look at Seungcheol, who starts backing away in fear.

“NOT TODAY SATAN,” she shouts as she fights off Seokmin, automatically resorting to hair pulling and slapping.

Jeonghan turns overnight two days later, a graceful being whose emergence in the morning causes Jisoo to trip and fall, screaming that an angel has appeared and that he would like to go to heaven but not now please why is the angel naked and then scream again when he recognizes Jeonghan’s features on said angel’s face. He faints in religious confusion, and a sleepy Hansol drags him out of the corridor and into the living room.

Jeonghan is lithe and graceful and feminine, and her words “tinkle like chimes in the breeze of a beautiful summer day”, a dazed Jisoo burbles out before Hansol knocks him out vehemently.

Her hair is white and long, which is probably why Seokmin’s whole body sags, “Ghost…” choked out as he joins Jisoo on the floor in unconsciousness.

The turning of another member hits them hard, the possibility of the rest of them turning has them fervently checking for their male packages as they progress through the day.

Jeonghan does not fit into any of their clothes, and decides to ask their After School sunbaenims to lend them some clothes while they figure out what the hell to do with the members of Seventeen (presumably) turning into girls one by one.

“Oh my God,” Seungcheol wails, “I can’t go up to Raina noona and ask her for bras.”

Jeonghan does not relent, consoling Seungcheol in the only way she knew how.

“At least you don’t need to ask her how to tie long hair, you’ve got me.”

Seungcheol bursts out in tears.

Jisoo accompanies them in their Quest for Bras, the only one they would trust to be gentlemanly around female undergarments.

Seungcheol barely chokes out “Hello, I’m actually Choi Seungcheol from Seventeen and I need some bras and maybe clothes” before Raina and Nana yank her and Jeonghan into the dorm. Ten minutes later they emerge, hair plaited, dresses on, and their suitcases bursting full of clothes and the long-awaited bras.

Jeonghan fastens a butterfly clip into her hair delicately. Nana had stuffed her into a long, flowing gown and with her white hair, she looks like a Goddess, and she knows it. They’re given enough clothes for about three people, but Seungcheol declines more just in case they jinx it and cause more people to turn.

The boys are suddenly well behaved, listening to Jeonghan’s words as if they were the Gospel, and Seungcheol swears that if she knew that turning into a girl would afford her more control over the twelve children, she would have considered a sex change years ago.

Jeonghan decides that to keep up with her image as her Goddess, she would wear heels all day long and be Gorgeous, and drags Seungcheol out to go shoe shopping with her. Against Seungcheol’s wishes, she goes for seven-inch heels because “they make my legs look good”.

“Heels hurt,” Jeonghan moans, after a mere twenty minutes of walking, clutching onto Seungcheol like a drunkard. At least a drunkard would feel less pain.

“How do girls do this all the time?”

Mingyu is assigned to foot rubbing duty as Jeonghan relaxes into the sofa, and resolves to burn all of Jeonghan’s newly acquired heels if it meant that Jeonghan would complain like this all the time.

No one is surprised when Jisoo turns, a mere three days after Jeonghan. Jeonghan and Seungcheol welcome him into the Girl Line, and Jisoo’s strawberry pink hair is braided within minutes. They share the clothes from Nana, and finally put the eyelash curlers to use.

Jisoo wears all the long sleeved shirts and pants, because “a woman’s body is a shrine”, or whatever. None of them were listening, content instead, to look at her chest, the shirt near to bursting. It is because of this that Seungcheol declares a DMZ in the Seventeen dorm, staking out a bedroom for Girls Use Only, and taping a line across the corridor that “males cannot cross”.

Jisoo falls into the toilet bowl one night, and only with Seungcheol and Jeonghan pulling her up does she manage to free herself from the bottomless abyss masquerading as the toilet.

They stage an intervention, and Seungcheol drills The Rules of A Gentleman into the boys’ heads, with a strong emphasis on Rule One: A Gentleman Never Leaves the Toilet Seat Up.

With this, the Demilitarized Zone claims more territory as “boys cannot be trusted to keep their promises,” Jeonghan claims, as she moves the tape to encompass a bathroom.

“Why did they teach us to put the seat down then,” Seokmin mutters to Mingyu, and is promptly awarded a smack from Seungcheol who was seated right behind them.

Jisoo spends all their money on bras, and the boys cover up the purchases by intercepting the mail from the credit card company and burning the letter, praying that the managers do not remember to check for the letter.

They don’t, and Jisoo rejoices in her freedom to move without hurting her back by attempting to do a pin-drop, before falling flat on her face because of her body’s changed center of gravity.

“Do you think the managers will notice the bill if I go for breast reduction,” a dejected Jisoo asks Seungcheol, who gives her the biggest glare as she’s barely half her size.

“Just lie down and die,” she snaps, “when you were buying bras the lady offered me a push-up.”

The dorm wakes at 4am, distraught screaming from the toilet and a missing Junhui the only clues to what had happened. Seungcheol and Jeonghan bravely pick the lock and march into the toilet, and a strange cacophony of screams and sobbing are heard by the waiting boys and girls gathered outside the toilet, holding onto each other in fear.

Jeonghan eventually emerges from the toilet with Seungcheol in tow, like an angel dragging a fallen general out of the war field. The members await eagerly for her report.

“We need to go buy pads. And tampons. And every single female hygiene item we can possibly get. And maybe a book on how to use them.”

They depart with Wonwoo and Jisoo, the only two they trust to be mature about their unexpected situation, and return in an hour, Seungcheol complaining that Jeonghan “literally swept all of the tampons and pads into the basket and we bought the whole shelf”, to which Jeonghan replied with a kick to his crotch. It is less effective than expected.

There is a big uproar in the toilet as the girls fight over which item to use, an unamused Wonwoo hurriedly flipping through “Menstruation for Dummies” because “do you really want to put it up the wrong hole, noona?”

Junhui screams that they should just stuff it up every orifice that is bleeding, and the toilet door bangs shut after they boot Seungcheol out, leaving only Jeonghan and Junhui inside.

“Shouldn’t tampons be used to stop nosebleeds, hyung?” Chan whispers to Jihoon, who shrugs and hugs Chan closer to comfort himself in this Great Female Pandemic, where men are becoming more endangered and females gaining power in this previously all-male household.

Then, a triumphant shout and Junhui and Jeonghan appear, victorious smiles on their faces as the rest of Seventeen get a look at Junhui for the first time.

Junhui is dark, dark hair, dark eyes, and yet what gets the boys is when she turns around and shows off her “la derriere le plus fantastique”, as Vernon calls it, and Minghao faceplants into a door to cover up his nosebleed that spontaneously started. Junhui clears her throat, and sends the boys into a frenzy, surreptitiously covering up the fronts of their pants. A casual hair tousle, and Mingyu Excuses Himself, the rest of the boys waddling behind him until they are out of sight of the females before fighting over who goes into the bathroom first.

Jisoo huffs, because such behavior is Not Holy, and prays that this ordeal will be over soon.

Soonyoung’s arrival causes squealing from the older members, because oh my God she’s like a little hamster LOOK AT HER CHEEKS THEY’RE SO ROUND SEUNGCHEOL HOLD ME I’M WEAK, and Jeonghan swoons into Seungcheol’s waiting hands.

She ruins it, however, by opening her mouth. With one pun, haha do you want to drink cars or tea, and they are utterly disillusioned. Seungcheol instructs her to keep her mouth closed when they are ordering meat at the barbeque restaurant nearby, and Seventeen gains fifty helpings of meat while only paying for twenty.

She shares clothes with Jisoo, the only one who has a chest size similar to her. Vernon walks out of the bedroom one morning when Soonyoung forgets to put on a shirt, and barely chokes out “Oh yeah baby, Double Ds—” before getting kicked by Seungcheol.

“Have some respect, there are females here. Soonyoung, put on some clothes dear.”

Seungcheol is good at controlling situations, if anything.

Soonyoung refuses to give up dancing even with two watermelons attached to her chest, because “If Real Girls Can Do It then Why Can’t I”, but a mere twenty seconds into the chorus of Rock and the unturned members of Seventeen have to Excuse Themselves, all of them thundering into their rooms and toilets to preserve their sanity.

Jeonghan huffs delicately. “Men,” she sniffs, “are disgusting. Soonyoung, you’ll get used to it soon enough.”

Chan overhears her words and vows to Man Up for his noonas.

Wonwoo’s emerges one morning, already dressed in female clothes and his reading spectacles, and Mingyu immediately turns and runs for the door, yelling that he was going for a run.

“Ah,” Vernon says as he attempts to steal an omelet off the stove when Jeonghan is distracted,

“Wonwoo noona must have reignited Mingyu hyung’s Librarian fetish.”

Seungkwan is delighted at that revelation, and wastes no time going through all of the female closets to look for the most Librarian-esque clothes, before realizing that he had accidentally trespassed on the Demilitarized Zone. Seungcheol forgives him just this once, as Seungkwan’s idea was what Seungcheol had planned to do, and Seungkwan did have multiple outfits planned out already.

The managers, however, finally find out about the special state of Seventeen’s hyung line. They barge into the dorm, two weeks after Seungcheol’s change, insistent that “If they’re that sick they should go to the hospital instead of staying inside the dorm all day!”

The bras lying around gain their attention.

“You guys have been hiding girls in your dorm? Wait until the CEO finds out! And the rest have been helping them to be irresponsible and keep their secret?” The managers scold, yelling for the guys to come out with their “girlfriends”.

“It’s worse than that,” Chan whimpers, but refuses to elaborate.

Seungcheol gathers courage to be the first one to confess to the managers, but Jeonghan gracefully moves her aside and appears from the doorway, presenting herself to the managers.

“I didn’t know Jeonghan had a sister,” one manager whispers to the other, awestruck by the glow that seemed to be emanating from Jeonghan (It is actually Junhui and Soonyoung using their flashlights on their phone).

“I do,” Jeonghan replies, and the managers nod along emphatically, before the sentence parses in their minds and they are left wondering how Jeonghan actually turned into a girl.

Then, the rest of the girls appear, and the managers nearly faint in a mix of both horror and fascination.

“How do we do events now,” one wails, “I should’ve been a Pristin manager instead.”

Jihoon fights the change with all he has. At this point, they’ve figured out that it happens when they’re sleeping, after at least two days of the last change. Jihoon refuses to sleep on Night Two of Wonwoo’s change, proclaiming that he’d rather “Die than sleep and change into Someone of Another Gender”. He lasts for three days, three days where the coffee shop near their dorm nearly runs out of caffeinated drinks in order to keep his eyes open and his sanity in check. He nods off on Day Six though, a ten minute nap before he jerks awake in horror and finds that he now has two orange sized mounds on his chest and Jihoon Junior missing.

A string of curses, strangely attractive sounding in a Busan accent, filters through the door and Jeonghan perks up.

“Good,” he chirps warmly, “now we have more girls than boys, and this means that we can have another bathroom and bedroom. We are, after all, a democratic society.”

Jihoon is short, shorter than her male form, the top of her head only reaching Chan’s chin, and is cooed over by the older few. Her hair is cut short in a bob, which makes her look even younger, and Junhui wastes no time in attaching a pink hair clip to her blonde hair and then picking her up to cuddle on the sofa.

“Take that frown off your face, Jihoon ah!” Jeonghan calls while bringing over the S sized clothes for Jihoon to try on, “you’ll look twenty-five instead of twenty and that’s not good for us girls!”

Jihoon is eventually dressed in a white sweater and a pink skirt, because Jeonghan is a vindictive mother hen who had apparently planned for this and was ready for her daughter Jihoon to look “as adorable as possible”, she sings as she dresses her, Jihoon already casting longing glances at the knives in the kitchen, making the younger few back away in trepidation.

Seokmin calls Jihoon “the cutest baby he’s ever seen”, and Seungcheol beams as Jihoon chases Seokmin with a stick he procures from under the sofa.

“They grow up so quick,” she sniffs as she wipes away proud tears, “only twenty, and she’s already chasing a boy!”

Seokmin barricades himself in the bedroom until Jihoon falls asleep waiting for him to come out.

By this time, most of Seventeen have already disappeared from the media spotlight for over two months, and twitter user @johnjohnjohn sparks a frenzy when she tweets about this fact. The managers quickly release photos of the boys having fun together just before they turned, but a sharp-eyed netizen points out that “the café they’re in closed down two months ago,” and then the metaphorical shit hits the fan.

Scrambling to fix this, the managers arrange for a press conference to for the males, their official excuse being that the older few are working on their album overseas and having a healing time, and the press calm down.

#PROTECTOURSEBONGS trends on twitter, and fans bombard the Seventeen Twitter for updates, and are rewarded with side views of the girls with hoodies on and hair hidden.

Amidst all this, Seokmin turns, and the younger few are booted out of the third bedroom and made to sleep on futons in the living room. Hair is strewn everywhere in the dorm, and they have to vacuum the floor every day.

“Seokmin ah, stop spending so much time in the toilet,” Wonwoo calls, banging on the toilet door after it remains closed for an hour.

“Unnie,” Seokmin wails, “my hands and my hair are tangled together and I can’t untangle them.”

They call in the female rescue squad, Jeonghan, Jisoo and Junhui, and Seokmin’s hair is cut short, brushing past her shoulders, because “there’s no helping that idiot, it was either her hair or amputation,” as Junhui claims.

Mingyu has a nightmare at 2am that someone is trying to rob Seventeen in their dorm and is currently strangling the life out of him, and when he jerks out of the nightmare, he panics because there is still something strangling him why does no one care!

Seokmin bursts in after hearing choked burbles from Mingyu, and switches on the light in hurriedly.

“Mingyu, you’re being strangled by your own hair,” he says drolly, watching Mingyu struggle with the invisible attacker before opening his eyes and realizing that it was just his hair. His long, black hair that is currently not the length that it was when he went to sleep.

“Ah.”

Mingyu as a girl is still impossibly clumsy, perhaps even more (Seungcheol shudders at the thought), and trips down the stairs on his first outing as a girl. She is all legs, her model-like body gaining catcalls from guys and she automatically tries to fight them before realizing that she would probably fall down before the fight even starts.

Hannah Montana plasters run out of stock very quickly at their convenience store, and the cashier marvels at the beagle-like girls who keep coming to the store to buy everything up, pads, snacks and now plasters. What a blessed world we live in, he smiles blissfully as he bags the fifth shelf of snacks, Soonyoung already helping herself to the prawn crackers in the first bag.

Seventeen still gather for their daily talk sessions, now scheduled after the boys finish dance practice while the girls watch and occasionally join when they want to, but the topics have shifted from concerns about idol life to just casual conversations since there was no way Seventeen could plan for another comeback when half their members spend their days braiding each others’ hair and shopping. They fight over their girl-boy differences, and the girls win more often than not, the boys cowed by the fierce glares of the girls that would definitely not hesitate to go for their baby-makers if they disagreed.

“We could be a girl group,” Seungkwan suggests, “we already have two vocals, three rappers and two dancers.”

“What would our group name even be?” Wonwoo mutters, not even looking up from her game.

“Sonyeoteen!”

“I can’t believe you’ve actually thought about this.”

“Who’s this punk,” Jeonghan insults the moment a multi-coloured head shows up for breakfast, mesh shirt and finger gloves modified from existing clothes.

“Fight me, hyung.” Minghao is cranky in the morning, already unhappy that she had to cut up her shirts to be able to fit into them, and has already started several altercations with the younger few.

Jeonghan gasps, because first of all, she is an unnie, and secondly, she is a Goddess who will definitely not be interacting with punks or ruffians of any kind.

Seungcheol reports that there are fewer tampons than there were the day before (they started to keep count because female hygiene products really ate up a lot of their household budget and someone coughSoonyoungcough couldn’t handle a little blood and changed tampons every hour) and Jeonghan ahhs in understanding.

“Did you put it in the wrong hole, Minghao sweetie?” She asks, all mother-like, and it takes all that Minghao has not to deck Jeonghan across the face.

Wonwoo nods, proclaiming Minghao’s inexperience in all things female, and Minghao lunges, grabbing fistfuls of Wonwoo’s silver hair and they both go down with a wail, Jihoon jumping in for no apparent reason at all and it starts a three-way fight, with the boys putting down bets on the fighting girls, courtesy of Seokmin who volunteers to be banker.

“One thousand won on Minghao noona winning the fight in ten minutes,” Chan whispers, because Jeonghan noona would definitely not approve of betting.

“Two thousand won on Wonwoo noona knocking both of them out with the encyclopedia,” Hansol immediately counters, placing the money in Seokmin’s hand.

“You’re all insane, do you remember Jihoon chasing me with the guitar like three years ago? And her chasing Seokmin with a stick? I’ll put five thousand won on Jihoon demolishing the both of them,” Mingyu jumps in confidently.

None of them win in the end, the girls agreeing to a truce after seeing handfuls of hair on the floor. Seokmin pockets all the money gleefully while Seungcheol marvels at the hair on the floor.

“There are so many colours! I want hair like that too,” Seungcheol sighs wistfully. This prompts Junhui to look at Minghao’s hair, rainbow coloured and yet still as soft as unbleached hair. The girls sigh over Minghao’s hair, and Jeonghan raises the possibility of doing beach waves with it.

“No.” Minghao is adamant, but then falters when she sees the amount of hair styling products Jeonghan produces.

“RUNNING WITHOUT A BRA HURTS,” Minghao wails as she thunders down the corridor, Junhui and Jeonghan close behind with various hair products in their hands.

Everyone praises Minghao’s curls under the watchful glare of Jeonghan, and Minghao resigns herself to Jeonghan’s reign as Queen of the Seventeen Dorm.

(“Check my skirt,” becomes so frequently used that the boys wonder what secret the girls are hiding from them in their skirts.)

Seungkwan is perhaps the most excited for his turn, ready to emulate “Beyoncé Sunbaenim” and has already planned out his camera angles to film Put a Ring on It, Seungkwan Girl Version. His change doesn’t come for two weeks, and a disappointed Seungkwan checked his still-there appendages every morning, coaxing it to change.

“It’s not like I don’t like you, I can’t live without you! But if you would just disappear for a while, Beyoncé noona would be really proud of you.”

“Seungkwan, stop talking to your reproductive organ and come eat breakfast!” Jeonghan’s voice is melodic even when she yells, and Seungkwan finds himself following without any hesitation.

Seungkwan finally gets her time to shine, and she wakes up bright and chipper, outfit ready behind the door because of course she has planned all her outfits to coordinate and she’s going to be an amazing girl.

She immediately starts putting on makeup (what the heck is a waterline?) and practicing sexy faces in the toilet mirror because she needs to do Beyoncé unnie justice.

“Seungkwan, I love you like the daughter I don’t have the womb to bear, but please stop, you look constipated.” Seungcheol crushes Seungkwan’s dreams with one sentence, and Seungkwan vows to put bubblegum in Seungcheol’s hair the first opportunity she gets.

Her dance cover gets a million views in two days, and Pledis scouts her to be in their new girl group.

(She is tempted to accept, but Seokmin’s glares in her direction convince her otherwise.)

Hansol is an All-American Beauty, her jawline putting Halle Berry to shame, and her lashes so long that even Jeonghan is jealous.

“Just use your eyelashes to sweep the floor,” Minghao snarks, and Hansol laughs.

Hansol is so accepting and so ready to chill that even when guys hit on her she shrugs it off, and an angry Seungcheol has to be there to fight off guys who get a little too close when they’re in the train.

“Just scare them away with your Show Me The Money rap,” and they descend into madness again, all twelve girls jumping in with pillows that are already prepared on the sofa (pillow fighting is a nightly sport at the Sonyeoteen dorm).

“Headlines, headli—” someone barely manages before the outraged screaming starts again and the fight begins, the girls fighting with renewed vigour.

Chan sits sadly on the couch, wondering when he can join his noonas. Pillow fighting seemed fun.

Now that they were a literal army of extremely attractive girls, people on the streets took notice of them, and rumours began to surface that a new girl group was about to debut. This prompts them to stay at the dorm more often than not, and they laze around most of the time, taking it as a break from their activities, even if it’s not by their own choice.

They karaoke a lot, and find themselves more adept than ever at girl group dances, even roping in a reluctant Jihoon to dance with them.

“Stop poking me with your unshaved legs,” Soonyoung yells as Mingyu brushes past her, which sparks a debate on who hasn’t been clearing their hair from the drain, the suspects only the brown-haired girls.

Seokmin confesses, and is condemned to clean the dorm for a week.

It is a relief when Chan turns, no longer obligated to go out into the media and lie about the whereabouts of the rest of Seventeen. It’s amazing that Chan had lasted so long, and the unnies congratulate Chan’s maturation into a strong and independent girl by throwing a pyjama party.

“We can’t even have a Girl Line anymore, we’re all girls,” Jeonghan laments one night, “now we’re just unnie and maknae line, like any other girl group.”

They marathon Boys Over Flowers, “a Classic,” Soonyoung proclaims, and argue over the boys.

“Lee Min Ho is cuter,” Junhui shouts as he bats away an angry Jihoon, “even with his permed hair.”

“Kim Bum is way cuter,” Jihoon and Soonyoung chime in, while Seungcheol and Jeonghan fight for Kim Hyun Joong’s rights.

“Guys, isn’t there another guy in the F4,” Seokmin tries, but is ignored and Chan pats his back in sympathy.

Sonyeoteen wail at the ending together, and vow to never get into relationships with mean girls.

They sleep together in a puppy pile, because “it’s not gay if we’re girls,” as Jihoon puts it.

Three months after their first change, and Seungcheol sits Sonyeoteen down for a serious talk.

“Gu—Girls, we’re going to have to think of ideas to hasten the change back.”

Jeonghan snorts.

“Our periods have all synced up, and you think now is the best time to ask girls to do something?”

Surrounding her, the rest of the girls are hunched over in pain, except Soonyoung, who miraculously managed to get lucky with pain-free periods. Seungcheol looks towards Soonyoung for her valuable input.

“If we all synced up to Jeonghan’s period, does that mean that Jeonghan’s cycle is the Alpha Period?”

Seungcheol swears that she will tape Soonyoung’s mouth shut someday.

“How are we going to have our comeback,” moans Jihoon, “at this rate we can just debut as a girl group and hope that the public doesn’t notice anything strange. Mingyu can’t even walk like a normal girl, he’s like a seal on dry land without shoes, how is he going to dance in heels?”

Seungkwan perks up. “Sonyeoteen!”

“Shut up, Seungkwan,” twelve voices charm harmoniously as pillows are launched in his direction mercilessly.

Christmas Day was cold, and the Sonyeoteen members were slow in getting up. Seungcheol rises the first as usual, hurrying to the toilet to get the tampons for Mingyu and Minghao as they were on their period.

He stops.

There is something dangling between his legs, and this had better not be a joke otherwise he would rip Seungkwan’s hair out.

He reaches tentatively.

He grasps. Something. And that is enough.

With a yell of triumph, he thunders into Jeonghan’s room and smacks Jeonghan with his dongle.

“Jeonghan it’s back! SEUNGCHEOL JUNIOR IS BACK KIDS!” Seungcheol roars his triumph as he swings around wildly.

Around him, the members are waking up and screaming their happiness as they find their manhoods back in place, none worse for the wear.

Their managers are relieved, immediately scheduling a press conference to announce the comeback of Seventeen, and readying the practice room for Seventeen.

Fans all around the world rejoice, #THEKINGSRETURN trending on Twitter and fan gifts flooding the Pledis building. Seventeen immediately record the tracks that Jihoon had been hoarding during their self-imposed exile, and fans praise female empowerment messages in the lyrics.

Seventeen resolve to keep this incident firmly locked away in the drawer of Things We Just Don’t Talk About, beside Pigeon Seokmin and Mingyu Flips Puppy Down Stairs.

However, they do still sit down to pee for years after that.

115 notes · View notes