#I’m too lazy to set up a queue most of the time please forgive me!

[chellychuu]

*reblogs 20 things in a row*

*disappears for a few hours*

*reblogs 20 things in a row*

*disappears for a few hours*

[demytasse]

[Shizaya] Coping Mechanism — Ch 4

[Previous Chapter]

     Izaya had spent most of the morning checking for phone notifications — one by one — messages that weren’t coming, yet he almost believed they would blip into existence the moment his eyes fell upon the digital screen. There wasn't much purpose for his action beyond preoccupation, he just couldn't admit how exclusively he waited for the goddamn bedroom door to open for hours that blended into a long minute. It was tiring, the impatience that drained his battery rather than his lack of sleep. Though how could he be patient when he knew Shizuo hadn’t slept more than a few winks; the heavy thump and rustles every time the beast tossed and turned practically broadcasted his inability to reach REM and it was painful just how long the lie that he slept the morning away was kept up.

So when Shizuo finally trudged the distance of his mattress onward to grace his presence, it seemed that everything surrounding the event was a blessing, even the racket of a loose doorknob attempting to initiate its mechanism was enjoyable. Even the extended, nail-biting buildup was accepted as Izaya utilised the extra time to meticulously dress up his nonchalant air for the grand entrance. His legs elegantly tied at the last moment, chin tipped up with a lazy prowess, he propped himself up by sheer will alone. Without further hesitance the door swung open.

    “Good morning, sweetie~!” Izaya twiddled his fingers in a wave.

He exuded expectancy in a fashion that looked as awkward as he tried to hide it — then again Shizuo did the same, despite his groaned out, groggy grumble.

    “You’re still here.”

    “Indeed, but that's what you wanted, right?” he winked.

Shizuo ignored as many pitiful flirts as he could — snuffed out his smile with a huff, and made his way to the kitchen.

He raised a section of his undershirt to scratch an itch just above a stretched-out waistband, every bit habitual as the series of cracks that rolled from his lower spine up to his shoulders. Izaya tilted his head as he spied, the same motion as Shizuo used while he forced his neck to crack with both hands. It was a fair bit of a cringe, given how familiar Izaya was to that particular strength, but knowing the outcome of each of his daily practices it wasn’t a worry that Shizuo might accidentally behead himself or something along those lines. It was a spectacle that lasted up until Shizuo paused his stretches. Curious of something upon the bar-top, he considered what to make of the object with dead eyes — the abnormality of a familiar carton that sat in a puddle of its own sweat.

    “You left the milk out,” Izaya pointed.

    “No fuckin’ shit?”

    “You also left the coffee on the heater. Not sure if you could tell, but the smell of burning mud is quite...pungent.” Izaya’s nose crinkled in jest.

    “And you couldn’t have done anything ‘bout it?” he rubbed at his eyes.

    “It’s not my place.”

    “...like that stopped you before, you damn brat.”

Shizuo went for an affectionate slap upside Izaya’s head, but it was evaded with an anticipated lean backward — a hum and chuckle in tow.

    He commanded Shizuo to stand down with a jab to the forehead. “Are you going to make it up to me?”

The sly tone alone drained colour from Shizuo, the touch did him in; it was technically their first form of physical content in months, though it was without nerves nor fear that his body reacted against his wishes.

    “H-hah?” His hand dropped to his side which directed Izaya to visually follow its course; drew his attention towards something that wished him a better ‘good morning’ than Shizuo had. “Are you serious?”

    “I meant coffee, Shi-zu-chan~. Coffee.” His brow raised, teasingly satisfied, his legs switched which topped.

Shizuo stumbled backward, the sudden lightheadedness worked against his balance, tripped him around the counter to create distance; perhaps hide. To recenter his thoughts he scrutinised the milk rather than face Izaya as they talked.

    “God, I—” he cleared the dry falsetto from his throat, “god, I fuckin’ I hate you.”

    “Tell that to your erec—”

    “DON’T!! Don't start, you asshole!” Red flowed back into his cheeks.

In a burst of emotion, he made a quick decision to prove his might with a pitch of the carton into the sink where it impressively exploded into a mess of white.

    “...what will I do for cream?” Izaya laughed easily.

    “I’m makin’ your damn coffee, just shut up and take what you get!!”

—

    Per usual Izaya fell into observance, this time it was a particular movie of morning ritual, overplayed and overperformed. Even though he wasn’t able to watch the second actor — that is, himself — the strain of rusty muscle memory told Izaya that he too kept close to the script of waiting for his lackluster brew and his unwillingly, willing bartender to join him.

They were lone actors stuck in a loop of endless takes in the midst of a dance around the same rickety set; their awkward passion had, and continued, to disappoint a hypothetical director with a perfect vision they could hardly live up to. It exhausted the couple’s ability to keep at it day-to-day in the past, hence how they both suffered through dry ritual before Izaya inspired a...hiatus of sorts. Time without it made it clear just how bored they had gotten; what rut they’d dug themselves into.

Rewatching it, though, made for good theatre.   

    While he maneuvered, Shizuo looked back and forth between his task and Izaya; off and on, he’d make eye contact only from a side-glance, but grew more and more anxious every time.

    “Would you stop that?”

    “Stop what?”     “Staring at me,” he messed with pre-ground coffee in the bag, “it's annoying…”     “You never seemed to have a problem with it before.”

    Shizuo paused, “funny how things change.” The words appeared unsatisfactory to his disposition, but he slipped back upon the rails to avoid a negative train of thought.     The retired monster further fumbled through setting up the coffee machine again — a round two of what was botched hours back. The cord tangled around his wrist, his frustration crackled as if the coffee had already begun to brew.

It shocked Izaya that he didn’t crush the cheap thing in the process, rather he moved onto scooping grounds with care — only half made it to the filter. What little mess he swept into his hand ultimately made it to the floor when he dusted off the rest on his boxers. With a snap of plastic and a beep the machine began its broken melody.

Izaya could’ve watched Shizuo — his performer — for hours; his own heated cheek lying in his palm, relaxed fingers curled around the arc of his head as it lulled to the side, completely in awe. He felt as if watching the romantic slice-of-life tragedy could make up for lost time — erase what mistake he’d made and perhaps turn it around. In the end, as predictable as the steps had become, no matter how boring they’d grown, Izaya realised he missed this silent film. It glossed his eyes somber.

When Shizuo turned, he was startled out of step; honestly, like he'd forgotten Izaya ever occupied the bar, except he couldn't have forgotten as he'd been impossible to get off his mind all morning. So he had no retort but a harsh intake of air, equivalent to five breaths or more. His chest filled out broad and his shoulders gained height; his long-term depression was corrected by a miracle. Shizuo forgot to exhale.

Once more he followed their tried and true script. Without hesitation he reached over the counter to rest his hand on Izaya's shoulder in trial of what he was allowed to get away with. The blunt laminate edge pushed far into his gut, yet he pressed onward without notice. All he was focused on was how flush Izaya had became as he massaged warmth over his cold shoulder; how his ex-partner melted into the touch and his shoulders rolled forward into a comfortable hang. Their exchange felt like coming home to experience their past.

Izaya eased himself off the chair, smooth and casually — metal scritched across the tile flooring as he moved closer to Shizuo to let him stroke his cheek with a feather touch. His vision closed off the world; he was relaxed enough to finally let his sleep deprivation take over, though was alert enough to will the moment to move faster towards what he wanted.

    "Seriously...” Shizuo hesitated, “...why the hell are you here, Izaya?"

Words waited in queue somewhere on the back of Izaya’s tongue, jumbled with an incomprehensible answer. The failed phrasing was more a stumble through various syllables that he tried to figure out the taste, but only managed a stutter. One language was too much a challenge, but his body puppeted him though straightforward communication; he moved closer and hung just short of them conversing through touch.

His fingers weaved with the golden half of Shizuo's locks and tugged hard at the brown roots. They hiccuped — choked on hot air before they went to steal more oxygen from the other. Only the rough of their lips grazed and only a second delay from an inconvenient interruption — a wail of the coffee machine.

Both men jumped apart; the machine’s alert continued on, as did their stare.

    "Let me get it." Izaya shook off their eye contact. He peeled away with his hand at the back of his head.

    “No I’ll do it.”

    "It's fine."

    “I started the damn pot, I'll finish it.”

    “How about you don’t press your luck, Shizuo,” he snipped, far humourless than his light, snappy tone, “alright?”

    “Luck?! Is it luck that we almost fuckin’ kissed?”     “Please,” he looked pained, “you know it was!”

Izaya regretted his snap judgement as soon as the shock spread wide on Shizuo’s features. The expression — the hurt — made it hard to ignore, how the look of betrayal was similar to one of another accident still shiny and new. What broke them apart and hadn't been addressed due to silent respect that Izaya probably didn't deserve.

Undeniably it was possible for Shizuo to forgive him, Izaya knew it; decidedly it was impossible for him to forgive himself, and he despised it.

    “Fine. Do what you want, Izaya. Leave it burning again for all I care. I need to shower for work.”

    “I need to leave as well.”

    “No! You stay put. We need to talk!” Shizuo bellowed. “So caffeinate yourself or somethin’, but hell, if you leave, the next time I see you I'll bury your smug-ass grin into the damn concrete!”

    “You sure don't look like you want to wait until next time.” He narrowed his eyes, but his voice wavered, “what happened to your controlled temper?”

    “You happened!!”

    “Oh…”

    “Yeah, ‘oh’,” he growled.

    “...”

    "Tch, what happened to your nonsense monologues...” Shizuo muttered as he turned towards the bathroom.

Izaya held his tongue as if he even had any dialogue to hold back. If he actually did, the cry of the door on its hinges would have interrupted the spew anyway. It slammed near to splinters; surprisingly it was more apt to claim it was forced into its cradle, snug and intact.

    “...looks like I will need that drink after all, Shizu-chan.”

AN: These awkwardly stubborn assholes...

[hamimagines]

First Contact (Rafael Casal x Reader)

Masterlist 

Request Queue

Request- This is a fic requested by my girl @jazygirljazzy (she’s awesome and posts a lot of Daveed and Rafa stuff and you should follow her) and it’s based on Rafa’s video series on YouTube “The Away Team”  It’s gonna be a four part series following each episode of the miniseries 

Song- cool girl -- Tove Lo (I changed this song like three times)

Words- 2,164

You hurried quickly down the hallway. The uniform was tight and it chaffed against your skin, something you thought you’d get used after years on this spacecraft but never seemed to get comfortable with. You couldn’t with that now. If you were late to this briefing there was no way you would get promoted from First Lieutenant to Captain. 

You practically slid through the automatic door to the ship’s board room. Every face turned towards you and the room went uncomfortably quiet. You felt a heat on your neck and face. “Sorry? Am I late.” You smiled sheepishly and sat down in one of the chairs, which was bolted to the floor of the spacecraft. 

“Not at all. We were just getting started.” the admiral said. He gave you a gentle smile. “Okay. It looks like everyone’s here. I’ll just get right into it. Since starting a new military branch in space, we’ve discovered close to three hundred new planets and solar systems. Obviously, we’re here to learn all we can about the vast universe we share. Long story short, we need to assemble a team to go out discover as much as they can about these unexplored areas. They will chart, collect samples, search for signs of life, and if possible, communicate with them.”

Your interest instantly peaked. This was your chance to get off this ship and do something that would make a difference, to put your name on something, to have something to be proud of. The admiral loved you. He’d trained you himself. He had to pick you. He had to. 

“I already have several candidates in mind for this special group, and I’ve called you all here today to get your opinion. Ultimately, it is still my decision, but we work as a team here.” 

A smile glowed on your face. You couldn’t contain the excitement. The admiral was looking at you with a similar expression, so you knew he had you in mind.You couldn’t wait to get out there. Touching new planets, new ground, new plants, new atmosphere, new everything. It was all going to be yours to explore.

“Alright to start it off I’ll introduce you to our Away Team, those individuals who we do the actual exploring and data gathering. I want you all to welcome Rafael Casal and Nico Cary.” 

A small whoosh was heard at the doors at the other end of the room opened and two scrappy men walked through. You hardly paid any attention to them or their almost off-putting dynamic. You just wanted the admiral to announce your position in the field. “We’ll have Dr. Diggs acting as their primary Physician and Lieutenant Y/L/N would remain on board collecting and organizing the data gathered, should you choose to execute my plan that is.”

Your jaw dropped. This was bullshit. There had to be a joke in here somewhere. He couldn’t actually be confining you to nothing more than a secretary. 

The admiral started handing thin green folders to everyone in the meeting. “That’s all I have for you today. Please look over these individuals credentials and when we meet again we’ll vote on whether to proceed or rethink our choices. Thank you.” Everyone got up and started to shuffle out, but you stayed.    

You stared down at the neat green file set on the table in front of you. Your mind replayed over and over again everything that had just happened. The two men, Nico and Rafael, we’re chatting lightly with the admiral and laughing. It took them a good few minutes to even notice you were there. 

“Lieutenant Y/L/N? Are you alright?” 

You looked up at him slowly. “I’m fine.” you forced out. He gave you a look that told you he knew you were lying. “I’m just wondering, sir, why I’m not being considered for the exploring job.” Your anger started to boil slowly. “You know how hard of a worker I am. I much rather be doing this myself than babysitting these two. It’s been my dream since I was a child, so forgive me if I’m feeling a little robbed right now! ...sir.” You stood there for a moment. His eyes were blank and one of the two men had an amused expression that only furthered your rage.

“Casal. Cary. Could you give us a minute?” 

“Of course, sir.” The smiling one said. The other looked at you with a slight amount of pity, and they both walked out of the room. You looked down at your hands, feeling embarrassed. 

“Y/N, sit. Please.” He addressed you with your first name now that you were alone and the situation was less formal. You did as he said, and he came and sat next to you. “Talk to me.” 

You threw your hands in the air. “You have to be kidding me, dad! You know how much I’ve wanted this. You know I want to be an Explorer. How could you take that opportunity away from me?” 

Your dad nodded thoughtfully. “I know, but if I let you do this mission, your career will never advance. Y/N, this is just the first of many expeditions. If I made you an Explorer now. That’s all you’d ever be. This one mission would be the end. You’d chart some maps and that’s it. But, if I have you head it, show everyone else on this ship that you can handle yourself and you know what you’re doing, you’ll move up. You’ll call the shots. You’ll make your own expeditions.”

“What good is living in space if I don’t ever get to see it? What good is being in charge of something I’ve never gotten to experience?” Your voice was softer now. 

The admiral laid a comforting hand on your arm. “Y/N. You have faced so much adversity in your life. People think you’re only here because you’re my daughter. That you don’t deserve to make it this far because you’re a woman. I’m giving you a chance to prove them wrong. I’m putting you completely in charge of this mission, Y/N. This is an important job, and I wouldn’t trust anyone else to it.” 

You ran a hand over your face and took down your tight ponytail. “Okay, I’ll do it.” 

Your dad chuckled and ruffled your hair. “It’s cute how you think it was a choice.” 

You rolled your eyes and stood up. “Get back to work. Stop being so lazy.” 

He smiled and nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” 

You watched him walk from the conference room in his office and then left altogether. When you were out in the hallway, one of the two men was waiting by the door. You started to walk past him, but he followed you. 

“Hey.” he said when he caught up with you. 

“Hi.” you spoke curtly. 

“I’m Rafael, but you can call me Rafa if you want. I figured I should introduce myself since we’re probably gonna be spending a lot of time together now.”

You had to force yourself not to roll your eyes.

“So you’re the admiral’s daughter, right? Y/N Y/L/N?” 

“That’s me.” You turned a corner and he still followed, so you stopped and faced him. “Are you planning on following me all the way to my bunk?” 

A sly grin appeared on his face. “You know, it does sound pretty fun. Too bad I don’t do human.” 

You nearly gagged. “You don’t...nevermind.” You started to walk away and to your surprise, he didn’t follow. You paused and looked back at him. 

“What?” he asked. “I can take a hint. You don’t wanna talk. That’s fine, but we are gonna be working together, so your little tough ice queen act is gonna have to crack pretty soon.” You scoffed and turned away again. “Later, Y/N!” he called after you. 

“Lieutenant Y/L/N.” you corrected. 

After months of planning it was finally here. First contact. Rafael and Nico were going to land on a small unexplored planet, one picked by you. You figured it would be best to start small, especially since as you became more familiar with Rafael and Nico, you weren’t certain of their abilities. This planet seemed to be mostly desert. It wasn’t very likely that they’d find any life, and even if they did, you didn’t think that even Rafael could fuck it up. Even with all these safeguards in place, you still made sure their microphones were on at all times so that you knew what was going on even when they didn’t like sharing. It was probably illegal, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. 

The mission started out well. The two boys landed safely, did as they were told, and started to gather samples. You and the crew you’d chosen to help you listened to their pointless conversations for what felt like hours. You were reclining in a chair waiting for them to say anything worthwhile. 

“There’s no tens on that ship. It’s all sevens. It’s all sevens man.” Rafael’s voice came through the speakers. You listened half-heartedly. “Except for that first officer, right? She’s sexy.” 

Your eyes widened. Rafael continued to talk, but you weren’t listening anymore. Every crew member was staring at you. Most of them were trying to stifle their laughter. You were absolutely mortified. How were you supposed to expect respect from anybody when Rafael was apparently talking about you like this. 

“Can you handle this for now?” you said quietly to your second. He nodded, and you quickly left the room. You didn’t care what your dad said anymore. This wasn’t what you wanted.  

You were gone from the room hardly three minutes when a young crew member was chasing after you. “Lieutenant Y/L/N! Lieutenant!” 

You turned around, more than a little annoyed. “What?” 

“It’s your men. They’re...he’s.” 

“Where are they?” 

“Infirmary.” 

Fear struck through you. You didn’t spare him a second glance before you were running down the sleek white hallways to the infirmary. A horrible screaming sound became louder and louder the closer you got. You nearly screamed yourself when you saw that it was coming from Nico. 

“What the hell happened?!” 

“We found life on the Class Four planet, ma’am.” Rafael said. You clenched your fists, ready to punch him in the face. 

“That doesn’t explain why my Explorer has a....whatever that is for a hand!” 

“Nico touched it.” 

“Rafael made Nico touch it.” Your second told you. Your jaw dropped and your head snapped towards Rafael again.

“He’ll be fine.” he said like it was nothing. Even incapacitated as he was, Nico gave Rafael an incredulous look. 

“This is the most unprofessional behavior I’ve ever seen. I’m getting you off this team. Now.” You left the infirmary, but Rafael followed you out. 

“Is it as unprofessional as leaving the control room in the middle of very important, and very dangerous mission?” You stopped walking and glared at him. “Oh yeah. I totally heard all about that, and unless you want the admiral that you abandoned their team when they needed you most...” 

You stepped closer to him. “Are you actually trying to blackmail me? It’s not gonna work. I don’t care what he thinks.” 

“See, I don’t believe that. I think you care a lot about what other people think about you.” 

“I could have you discharged for sexual harassment, Casal.” He furrowed his brow. “Yeah, you’re not the only one who hears things.” 

Realization dawned on his face. “That’s wasn’t harassment! That was just me talking to me buddy! Besides, listening to our conversations without our consent is an invasion of privacy. Face it, Y/N.” 

“Lieutenant Y/L/N.” You spat. 

“Yeah, whatever. The point is, I have just as much on you as you do on me. So go ahead. Go run and tell daddy. I just wait outside his door tell your finished. I’m sure he’d love to hear what I have to say.” 

You sucked your teeth and stared at the ceiling. You couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy. “Fine.” You stuck your hand out. “Truce.” 

Rafael looked surprised. “I didn’t think that would actually work.” He took your hand and shook it. You grabbed the color of his spandex shirt which matched your own and pulled him down so his eyes were level with yours. 

“You step out of line one more time, Lieutenant Casal, and I won’t fucking hesitate. Don’t forget you’re under my command.” 

Rafael grinned. “This should be fun.”