#I’m thinking Mattias bc I just like the sound of it

[ryuno-suvke]

‼️ SPOILERS FOR TOH S3 EP1: FOR THE FUTURE‼️

_______________________________________________

With the recent reveal that Matt’s last name is Tholomule, I am going to fall down the rabbit hole of headcanoning him a full name bc my skrunkly boy deserves it. ✨

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 7 - Monaco

Alrighty, it’s time for the most glamorous procession the jewel in the F1 calendar, Monaco!

Again, I really don’t remember much from this race other than the fact it was wet, Lewis’ stunning amethyst helmet and Seb looking like a Disney princess during the red flag period.

So, without further ado, let’s jump in!

Ah, Crofty doing the classic speaking French with an English accent. smh.

I also didn’t know it rained 10 mins before the race. Classic.

Also also, I cannot for the life of me remember when the last wet race was at Monaco??

AHHH SEB IN THE TOP 10!!! ATTA BOY

Lewis P8???? the W13 really was a menace

Oof. Charles on Pole. We know how this is ending.

Start procedure suspended???? That’s new

(Does this mean rain delay content???)

Oh nvm drivers are in their cars.

Ted Kravitz seemingly loves one thing and that’s mechanics running around trying to find wet tyres judging by how excited he sounds shgarughugh

“People getting knocked over by mechanics trying to find tyres” dear me it sounds like f1blr on race day

and cut to live footage of two very frantic looking Merc mechanics running through the pits with a stack of tyres.

Helmet watch: thank you for cutting to Lewis and his very very pretty amethyst helmet

“I just don’t get it what is going on with these calls from race control?” Big mood Ted. Big mood.

ohhhhh this is when we had the rotation of two race directors. That explains a lot.

Oh shit now it’s raining

Okay where are the tiny marquees they have to put over the cars?? I miss them.

“Does Charles want to watch wet laps from Monaco or Bambi when he goes on ice to prepare for the start?” CROFTY efgkuehsrguheg

SEB SIGHTING

(I totally didn’t wave at the mechanic that waved at the tv)

No, this wasn’t what I imagined this post would be either. But here we are.

“Remember Spa last year?” No Ted I try not to.

Lewis getting on the radio telling everyone to take some breaths and chill, bless

Oop. Crofty bringing up Leclerc’s home race curse.

Okay I’m going to call that we get 6 formation laps before the rain delay. 

Alexa play Here Comes The Rain by Eurythmics bc it is WET

Aaaaand red flag. I do not win anything since that was three formation laps I think??

ANYWAY rain delay content let’s go show me mechanics playing cards or whatever.

(Yes, I will be liveblogging the rain delay. This is my blog I can shout about what I want)

Bono sighting!!! even though he looks like evil Kermit 🤣

ayyyy car tents!!!!

Seb and Antti sighting. I am being spoiled today.

“I’ve tried very hard to forget Spa [2021]” A colossal mood Crofty. Though I am tempted to watch that at some point as a rite of passage.

Helmet watch: Pierre’s white and gold helmet looks really pretty. someone in F1 finally remembered about chrome.

One of my fave things about rain delays his counting how many times they cut to a bored looking Team Principle sdafhawu

“Mattia Binotto just walked passed me looking like he was going to go for root canal surgery” Pretty sure that’s just his regular face Ted.

“The track is the damp bit, the harbour is the very wet bit” Ah, peak sports journalism.

Livery watch: Aston Martin v pretty.

Gotta cut to a man with an FIA umbrella, just so we know it’s still raining.

SEB!!!!! There he is, indeed looking like a disney princess.

As opposed to a very unbothered Lance. (For context, I’m 45 mins into the replay at this point).

Aww Jost Capito helped the Williams mechanics wheel the tyres onto the grid. And he brought Ted a banana. Bless.

ANOTHER SEB SIGHTING. Still looking beautiful. Keep up the good work.

Give me the weather show with Ted and Crofty this is excellent.

Oh and a Toto sighting as well. Noice.

Yet another Seb sighting. Sending many belated kisses on the head to the TV director.

Ten minute signal. Cut to Mick Baywatch running down the pitlane.

aaand I’ve also passed the 1hr mark on the replay 😅

oh. they just cut to Piastri in the Alpine garage. wheeze.

Oh there’s Ted hiding under a canopy.

“Oh was I on the telly?” Protect him at all costs.

Helmet watch: Oh Lando’s split helmet design is sick!

iirc Charles didn’t even finish on the podium so I’m not looking forward to seeing how Ferrari manage to screw this one up.

Poor Ted being complaining about being assaulted by the pit siren. This is the rain delay content I signed up for.

oh god there might be more rain but McLaren don’t know bc there’s a dead zone in the radar. F1 is a serious sport.

[Lap 1]: Oops I was scrolling through tumblr mobile and I didn’t realise the race had actually started fbisdi poor Nicky in the wall.

ah okay it caught comms off too I’m not being dumb all by myself.

suddenly: racing (for anyone with F1 TV and they don’t want to see the rain delay. The race starts at around 1hr 10mins)

[Lap 3]: ahhhhh rolling start

can Nicky and Lance not have Canadian squared pitlane violence???

god there’s just something about seeing Fernando, Lewis and Seb together on the timing screens. Feels good feels organic.

[Lap 5]: oh jeez Gasly’s car going squiggly, then having a lock up. 0/10 would not recommend to a friend.

[Lap 6]: and he just set the fastest lap. nvm.

another Seb sighting!!! (bc Ocon passed him for P9 😭)

oh Seb and Yuki pitting for inters.

[Lap 10]: def less spray on track, though nothing much else is happening other than the usual procession.

It is bad I’m not scared to see how Ferrari screw up Leclerc’s race when he has a 4 second lead??? I just expect it to happen at this point.

I learned many things during Seb’s time at Ferrari. Many of them are simply not to trust them 😭

[Lap 12]: Oh that shot of Gasly’s helmet cam looked decent actually, I still don’t know how I feel about having it thought.

oh that was a good pass from Gasly on Zhou

ayyyy another Seb sighting in the battle with Ricciardo, Gasly and Zhou. This is fun actually???

[Lap 14]: And another nice pass from Gasly on Ricciardo. Beloved midfield spice how I adore you.

“Worth waiting for this race if you’re a Scuderia fan” heh. That’s gonna age poorly.

[Lap 15]: Another fastest lap for Gasly. Lad’s holding no punches.

and Lewis onto inters.

[Lap 17]: Perez next onto inters.

lol Sainz wanting to fistfight the Ferrari strategy. That’s a mood. It worked though.

And inters for Lando. I am suddenly very invested in how all these strategies are going to play out.

[Lap 18]: Noooo not Lewis on Esteban violence at Saint Devote.

[Lap 19]: Ah. Perez took the lead. Ferrari strategy strikes again.

Russell and Albon getting track warnings at Monaco. How?????

WHY IS MICK ON SLICKS?!????

Great. Now I’ve got anxiety. (mainly bc I’m trying not to think about his awful crash)

[Lap 20]: Oop more Lewis on Esteban spice.

I am so not used to seeing racing at Monaco that I’m genuinely surprised at what I’m watching.

Seriously this Lewis v Esteban battle is so good

[Lap 22]: They pitted Leclerc for slicks???? Why????

Oh. Charles is pissed. I know that feeling very well.

[Lap 23]: The Red Bulls pitted for slicks Perez still came out ahead of Sainz, and Verstappen ahead of Charles. Another L for the Ferrari strategy department. 

You know it’s been a bit batshit when you’ve got drivers on wets, inters and slicks all at the same time.

[Lap 24]: Seb I assume pitted for slicks??? Out in P12.

I swear the past 25 laps have been more interesting than some full Monaco races put together. I didn’t even notice Kevin DNF.

“I smell something burning but I don’t know from which car” It’s Leclerc burning down the Ferrari strategy dept with his mind.

[Lap 27]: And fuck there’s Mick’s crash. I mean watching in hindsight I know he’s okay but fuck me F1 cars should not split in two like that

[Lap 30]: And red flag. I assume to fix the barrier.

oh Crofty didn’t notice Kevin DNF either. we’re somehow sharing a braincell.

a v rare Lewis, Bono & Angela sighting. I am sending the TV director a box of the finest pastries. Monaco TV direction is being extremely valid for once.

There’s seemingly under an hour left on the 2hr clock so I don’t think there’s going to be a full race.

Cut to Charles shaking his head in despair. Welcome to the Victimised by Scuderia Ferrari club bud we’ve got tissues and big grudges

Oh so there might have been a localised power cut which lead to the initial delay to the race start. Monaco 2022 truly trying to be that bitch.

(Nowhere near Brazil 2012 or Canada 2011 levels of drama, but there is definitely an attempt)

I totally didn’t have bad flashbacks at the ‘Lapped cars my overtake the safety car’ message.

Anyway I’m at 2hrs 15 out of 3hrs 30 on the replay. Hopefully I will finish this before 2am. I didn’t properly think this through.

Ted wondering what time the Indy 500 starts to see if he needs to reschedule Ted’s Notebook. #Priorities.

Charles on used hards when the Red Bulls are on mediums... Just when I thought the Ferrari strategy dept couldn’t surprise me.

[Lap 32]: “All the lapped cars have overtook the safety car” Crofty I’m hitting you over the head with a foam mallet stop alluding to Abu Dhabi ‘21

Livery watch: I got so hyped up about the black Merc this week that seeing the silver one just feels off even though they’re literally the silver arrows vvhaeghgs

[Lap 34]: Oh boy. Lewis is behind Fernando. Mum can you pick me up I’m scared.

aaaand I finally have 1 hour left on the replay. Going to treat myself to some really nice sleep once this is done.

oh we’ve switched from a lap count to the remainder of the 2hr race timer. Apologies if my lap counts are very screwy from here on out.

Nooooo Lewis ditched the amethyst helmet why 😭😭😭

(well I mean I’m guessing it was to get a different visor but it was so pretty)

Lewis following Fernando nose to tail. This feels like 2007. I don’t like it.

DRS turning up late to the party. I hope they brought snacks.

and I have officially lost count of what lap I’m on so yeah we’re just gonna spew our thoughts unorganised

Meanwhile Seb is in P11 after all the various carnage.

I can’t believe this is set to be Leclerc’s first points finish at Monaco and yet the curse still got him.

Not the driver map exposing the Alonso train fguhaerguheufh

“It’s more a case of how far they [the leaders] are behind. Alonso’s pace is very slow” You’re laughing. Bono just called out Fernando’s crimes over team radio and you’re laughing.

No words for what this race has been. Just so much.

Under 19 mins left. This has certainly been a motor race.

The gap between Norris and Alonso is 35 seconds. 35. Dude. 

I don’t know whether to laugh or be very judgmental bc I can see no reason why Alpine would ask him to be that slow since Ocon’s penalty will already put him out of the points.

oof that save from Zhou. Also helmet watch I love the blue porcelain pattern.

They’re only just now telling Ocon about his penalty???? With 12 mins left???? If I was a driver I’d want to know as soon as.

“Fernando is blocking Lewis so he needs to push” dfvhskfvhe Fernando being bestowed with his war criminal title from all sides today.

Meanwhile, ten minutes left and the top 4 are starting to form a sandwich.

Perez’s tyres are not looking very healthy.

Oh jeez Perez has just about caught up with Zhou and Latifi.

Potential Sainz on Perez violence? 👀

Meanwhile I’m pretty sure Leclerc is running on rage at this point.

5 mins left! And I’ve passed the 3hr mark on the replay

This is wild though I never thought I’d see the top 4 cars be so close together at Monaco

ohhhhh so this is how Seb finished P10 bc of Ocon’s penalty. I will take it.

[Final Lap]: I can’t believe we got a race so exciting at Monaco I lost track of the lap count. Very wild times indeed.

And we end the race in sunshine. Because of course.

idk how I kind of half forgot Perez won Monaco??? Good for him though I guess!

Yeaaaaaah Seb in P10!!!! 🥳🥂

“No words” Yeah Charles is going to burn some shit later. I fully support his rights to do so.

Well. We had a genuinely entertaining race at Monaco. What timeline is this??? Nah as we know wet-dry races always provide some pazazz whatever the track. We had some midfield spice, pit lane chaos, and some actual racing holy shit (and some very mild Alonso war crimes for good measure).

Solid 7 front wings out of 10. The rain delay is a 10/10 by default for all the Seb sightings and Ted content. Next race - Well Done Baku

[xiaoluclair]

Protecting your lover's sleep as they doze on your lap, making sure nobody bothers them as they entrusted their peace to you + "Don't you dare wake them up."/"I'm right here; I won't leave your side. Go back to sleep, darling." ? 👀

any time i read a petname that doesn't seem ironic, it throws me so far off balance i need 3-5 business days to recover. however for you, anon, i pull through (very valiantly, might i add, with extreme courage and bravery [cue sideways glance at the dts writers] like, gay-sitcom-rewarding levels of extreme courage and bravery. [cough.])

i’m gonna assume, based on the vast majority of my blog’s contents, that you would be okay with lestappen? idk why i put a question mark there, it’s probably a given that you’re getting lestappen unless stated otherwise! (and hopefully you enjoy <3) (i got a bit carried away lmao. AND i got severe deja vu while writing it. not bc ive ever written anything like it before, just that genuine falling deja vu feeling). 

general audiences | mild swears and threats of violence | lestappen | ficlet | warning: my writing | i got carried away i got carried awaaaay im sorryyyyyyy 

-###-

Charles’s thighs have never been prestigiously named. Or, rather, they have never been named, period. 

However, this was before one (1) Alex Albon decided to walk in on one (1) Max Verstappen with his head on one (1) Charles Leclerc’s lap two years - two whole years - after walking in on one (1) Sebastian Vettel snoozing on the very same one (1) Charles Leclerc’s lap, and snapped his fingers under the lightbulb that brightened the ridge of his ferrari-approved hair.

And now, the very same one (1) Alex Albon vaults right over a chair - multiple chairs actually - to land rather clatteringly beside the same one (1) Charles Leclerc on the floor. 

Charles glares at him, feels his face contort in tickles and leans to the side for the oncoming sneeze.

“What?” asks Alex innocently. “Also gesundheit.”

“Thank you.” A mechanic glides by with a wide berth, almost soundlessly. “You could not have simply walked through?”

“Now where’s the fun in that?”

“Keeping your toes, Alexander,” says Charles lightly, shifts carefully over the pins and needles that have been living in his ass for the past ten minutes now. 

Alex makes a noise of consideration. “Not sure I like the use of my full name with those words.”

“Good, now. Why are you here?”

The offended ruffle of race suit dragging along the floor, a satisfied grunt of a sound as Alex leans against the adjacent wall. He grins, teeth flash between the light layering of cupboard-cast shadows. “Just wanted to,” a hand reaches out, “say hello.”

Charles slaps it out of the air. “Do not you dare, Alexander.”

Alex’s eyes roll, breath huffs as he pets his knuckles. “You get two syllables, Charles.”

“Do not you dare, tit-”

“Everything alright, boys?”

A knock on the wall to signify dull contact with the back of Charles’s skull. He smiles, a little lazy, tilts his face into the feeling of a soft haystack. “Just peachy.”

“Yeah,” echoes Alex, sincerity severely lacking, “just peachy.”

Impossible would be a tone of voice flying over one (1) Christian Horner’s head, so Charles supposes sarcasm can only be something he is used to. He nods to Charles. “We need him in five.”

“Fifteen.”

“Five, Charles. Doesn’t Mattia need you, too?”

“Sure,” says Charles without a shrug. He thinks there must be enough needles to supply a retirement home and then some falling out of his ass about now. But even so, “In fifteen.”

Christian’s perpetually constipated face shows its usual impatience when it comes to these Times. “Charles-”

“Shut up,” says Charles shortly before he brings Max closer to his chest to try and still the stirring. “I will emancipate you if he wakes.”

Fear so clear in Christian Horner’s eyes is a rare thing. Which is probably why he just looks fed up while Alex looks like he’s gone through the five stages of grief and is on an improvised eighth that involves stuffing a hand into his mouth and making weird, semi-coherent monkey noises.

All of which amass to Max’s head shifting, eyes fluttering, and Charles grabbing a pen lid to throw at Alex’s arm. 

A string of noises follow. One spruced with curses, the other siphoned in sleep. Dust stains the corners of Max’s eyes, crusty and clear as he yawns wider than Marko’s mouth when it’s shit-stirring. 

Charles gently tucks his head back under his chin without a single bout of resistance. “Unconscious, Verstappen. Now.”

Max hums. A single bar of Charles’ ribcage resonates with it, soft.

He strokes Max’s spine as it moves quietly, follows it with fingerprints through the fireproofs. “I am here, still here. I am not leaving.”

Alex sniggers. Christian’s eyes roll far back enough to find his own head up his ass. Max’s mouth slots to the hollow of his throat for barely a second before he goes slack. 

Charles closes his eyes. Settles once again into the lack of blood flow with the declaration, “Do not mess with The Lap of Champions.”

“Damnit, I should’ve coined that.”

“Shut it, titbag.”

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[feistypaants-archived]

Between The Pipes [Chapter 21]

Rating: M Words: 1946 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When a new owner takes over the Arendelle Ice Breakers, Kristoff isn’t sure about his future with the team. That is, until a PR nightmare throws the newest member of the media team, who also just so happens to be the daughter of the new owner, right into his arms. Kristoff and Anna can’t even stand the interviews they have to do together… how on earth are they going to fix this mess? Hockey!AU.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: This chapter is smut, mostly. There are some feelings at the end, though :^)

Also didn’t really read over this bc I’m sick of looking @ it lmao !! Sorry for any mistakes. 

Enjoy!

Anna never said she had self control. So when Kristoff asked if she wanted to take one or both cars back to his house, she pretty immediately suggested they drive together in his truck. 

She waited patiently while he showered and gathered up his gear before emerging from the locker room, hair still damp and cheeks flushed, and she waited patiently while he gathered up his things and spoke with Mattias about the next game. But her patience was wearing thin as he fumbled for his keys in his duffel as she bounced on her toes, absolutely ready to be in the truck. 

“And men say women have bags too large,” Anna snickered as she pulled a hair tie off of her wrist and spun it between her fingers for a moment. “Why would you put your keys in there?”

“You wanna drive?” He mumbled, placing his bag on top of the hood as he dug deeper, frustration clearly etching into his features. He didn’t notice Anna pull the band between her teeth before gathering her hair up into a large messy bun on top of her head. 

“No,” she hummed, tying it off, and dropping her hands back behind her, clasping them together as innocently as she could. 

“Then stop — a-ha! found them!” He pulled them out of the back triumphantly, a grin wide on his face. But he paused for a second, tilting his head slightly to the side. “You put your hair up.”

Scrunching her lips to the side, Anna averted her gaze for just a moment. “I did.”

“Looks nice.” Then he shrugged and unlocked the truck, smiling as Anna scrambled into it while he threw his equipment into the bed.

She took a quick moment to undo the top few buttons of her blouse, pinch at her lips before running her tongue over them, hoping to make her mouth look more plush, and then sat up straight as Kristoff opened his door and climbed in, narrowing his eyes at her suspiciously. “... You’re up to something, aren’t you?”

Anna pulled her bottom lip up between her teeth and smiled, rolling her eyes. “Of course not.” But then she leaned across the seats, sliding her fingers through his hair and kissed him, deep and slow, tongue teasing him as he reached out to touch her. His hands were eager, one resting on her neck as the other reached to touch at the swell of her breast, newly exposed by her lowered neckline, and Anna sighed with content as he let out a small moan when she pulled away. 

Her mouth found his throat, pressing two hot kisses against it before she dropped her hand to his thigh, fingertips brushing against his hardening cock. Anna lifted up slightly, her lips feather light against his as she whispered “Just drive.”

The height of his truck gave her confidence, knowing that it was unlikely anyone would see them. She leaned back as Kristoff started the truck, smirking at the sight of his shorts tenting in his lap. She turned herself to a more comfortable position in the truck, leaned forward, and started rubbing him through the fabric.

A happy sigh escaped her lips as she pulled the waistband over him, revealing exactly what she had been looking for. “God, I’m so lucky you have this,” she laughed, tongue darting out over her lips before she reached out to stroke him once, slowly, agonizingly slowly. “Best dick I’ve ever sucked.”

“Jesus Christ, Anna…” his voice was tense and she glanced up to see his jaw working and his knuckles white from his grip on the steering wheel. “Please.”

Well, since he said please…

Her soft tongue teased him, a small circle around the tip as she savored the taste of him. Then a bigger one, a long lick up the entire length of him, and then she lowered herself slowly, her lips circling the girth of him as she took as much of him as she could. A string of curses were whispered above her head, as his right hand dug fingers into her scalp. 

Anna wanted this to last, wanted to make sure he was practically begging for release by the time they got to his house, and wanted him to be more satisfied than ever. So she took her time, teasing, bobbing slowly, lifting her mouth off of him and giving gentle strokes with her fingers. The drive to his house wasn’t long, but the grip of his hand in her hair tightening told her he was sick of her teasing. 

“We — we’re…” his speech was broken as she sucked him, sliding up and down the length of him with ease. “A...almost there, Anna…”

Perfect.

She sped up her ministrations, hollowing her cheeks as she slid up to his head, teasing with her tongue at the slit of him, running the flat side of it back down his length as she worked her way downwards. 

“Fuck, Jesus…” 

That was a good sign, and she sound of him pulling off the road, pressing a clicker to open what sounded like gates, before stopping the car and squeezing his fingers tightly against his skull was even better. 

“We’re here... I’m—” 

He groaned when she nodded, sucking hard and faster, one hand embracing the bit of him she couldn’t reach with her lips as her other cupped his sac, playing gently with his sensitive skin. And then his fingers were drumming hard against the steering wheel, his hips thrusting slightly up into her mouth, and he tried so hard to give her the option of not taking his release on her tongue, but Anna stayed where she was, encouraging as ever.

And he came, his hot cum spilling over her tongue, Anna swallowing it with as much enthusiasm as she had during everything. She sucked him through his orgasm, cleaning off any remainder of mess left on his skin. And when she rose back up, wiping off the tiny bit of him she felt on the corner of her lips, Kristoff reached across the truck, practically pulling her into his lap as he kissed her, hard and wild, breathless as ever.

“What was that for?” He was panting, breathless and flushed as he pulled back and let his eyes dance across her face.

Anna smiled, running a palm down his now scratchy cheek. “It was… an appetizer.”

He groaned and laughed, his head dropping back against the headrest behind him. “Well… then you’ll have to be dessert.”

—

“So,” Anna hummed, leaning over the table and reaching for his hand. “You’re talented, funny, hot, kind, great with kids, fucking amazing at sex, and you can cook?” She rolled her eyes and propped her chin in her hand. “What can’t you do?”

Kristoff’s cheeks flushed but he laughed her off, letting go of her hand as he moved to clear off the table. “Ah, don’t think too highly of me, seriously.” 

She leaned back in her chair with a grin. “Why not? You’re the whole package. What a shame you’re not willing to settle down.”

The way his back tensed told her she had said the wrong thing and she stood quickly. “No, I, um.” Anna fumbled to grab the rest of the dishes and came up beside him at the sink. “I didn’t mean… I just… you really are an ideal guy, Kris.” And she would give anything for him to settle down with her... “But I… I’m not saying —“

He sighed and reached over to grab the glasses from her hands. “I know…”

Anna bit at her lip before wrapping her arms around his bicep and rubbing a gentle hand against his shirt. “Do… you want to watch something?” She grinned up at him and shrugged. “Or … not watch something.”

His laughter eased her worries, and he touched gently at her hand on his arm. “Anna… are you sure you’re still…” he paused, turned to face her, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re still okay with this, right? This arrangement? Because if you’re not —“

“I am!” Her cheeks darkened as she answered far too quickly. “I am. Are you?”

“Yes.”

She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, sliding her lips over his. “Good,” she mumbled, giggling when his arms circled around her waist and lifted her up onto the counter, settling her knees on either side of his hips. 

His mouth trailed across her skin, settling for far too little time behind her ear before he found her throat, kissing and sucking at the fragile skin there. Anna could feel the mark he was leaving, knew he was being too rough on her, but didn’t care in the slightest as his hands trailed down her waist, her hips, her thighs, sneaking up under the hem of her skirt. When his fingers reached her center, brushing lightly over her damp panties, Anna sighed. 

Kristoff only smirked as he got down on his knees. He kissed his way up her thighs, now bruising intentionally as she swung her legs over his shoulders, using his body as leverage to push her bottom off the countertop when he moved to pull her panties down. “Should we… go to the bedroom?”

He shook his head, nipping the skin right beside her core. “I prefer to eat in the kitchen.” 

Then he dove in, feasting on her as if he had been starving. 

Anna saw stars for the first time in her life.

—

They sat together on his couch, Anna curled up against his side as he ran his thumb gently up and down her shoulder. After bringing her to her climax twice with his mouth, all she had wanted to do was relax and rest for a little while. Kristoff had smiled and said of course, wiping at the remnants of her on his chin, before kissing her softly and carrying her to the other room.

An hour was spent watching whatever he happened to flip to, as they both wound down from their busy day. But it was getting late, and Anna really didn’t feel like driving home, and she let herself dare to wonder if…

“It’s getting late,” she hummed, turning her head on his shoulder to look up at his face. “So…”

He smiled, nodding. “You want me to drive you home or back to the rink to get your car?”

Oh.

She tried to ignore the ache in her chest. He had never stayed at her apartment, and she shouldn’t have been surprised at this response, but she still lost her breath for just a moment. Anna had almost thought that he was inviting her to his home for a reason. But she had to remind herself that… it really wasn’t real, then.

She had said she was still all right with this arrangement. And she was…

Mostly.

“Oh. I guess…” she sat up, letting go of him, and moved to stand. “I guess I need my car. So…”

“Yeah,” he stood as well, heading to the doorway to grab his shoes. “No problem.”

“I just need to pee, first.” He nodded and went to the kitchen to start on some dishes as she headed back to the bathroom. She wasn’t going to cry about this. She definitely wasn’t. 

And when she braced her hands on the bathroom sink and stared at herself in the mirror, willing the tiny shine of tears in her eyes to go away, she almost made it happen.

She knew what she signed up for, and she knew that she could handle it. 

But one moment of weakness was okay, right?

[thelastchair]

Powder Magazine

(Written by Sam Cox - December 28, 2020)

Growing up in Montana, my winter free time was consumed by skiing. Big Sky was the destination when I was barely old enough to walk. Eventually we made the move to Bozeman and Bridger Bowl became my second home. During the early years, my family made the trek to a handful of Warren Miller movies when they were on tour in the fall and Snow Country was the magazine subscription that landed on the coffee table. I was vaguely aware of Jackson Hole, Snowbird and Squaw Valley and my father would occasionally regale me with tales of skiing (read Après) in Germany when he was in the Army. At some level, I already understood that there was something special about Bridger, but realistically, my sphere of outside influence was quite small. Christmas of 1989 turned my entire world upside down. My aunt and uncle are longtime Salt Lake City residents and Brighton skiers. Typically they would send a package each year with the customary cookies, toffee and a card. However, this year they sent two VHS tapes and a magazine - Ski Time, Blizzard of Aahhh’s and a copy of Powder. Things would never be the same for me. Scot Schmidt became my hero, Greg Stump was taking skiing into uncharted territory and above it all, Powder created an eloquent voice for our sport and was the fabric that held things together. Even at my young age, everything that I’d intuitively sensed before was distilled into a potent desire to devote myself to the simple pursuit of being a skier.

Johan Jonsson, Engelberg, Switzerland - Photo: Mattias Fredriksson/POWDER

Powder was founded in Sun Valley by the Moe brothers in 1972 as an annual portfolio of The Other Ski Experience. After several years of running the magazine, Jake and David Moe sold Powder to the owner of Surfer Magazine. A repurposed aircraft hangar in San Juan Capistrano became the new home of skiing’s most prestigious publication. Over time, there was an ebb and flow to the size of staff and cast of characters, each person leaving their unique mark. For decades Powder weathered corporate acquisitions, office relocations and the constant metamorphosis of the ski industry - never losing its voice, Powder remained the benchmark. It was a source of creativity, inspiration and a defacto annal of history. For many it was also a shining beacon, a glimpse into a world filled with deep turns and iconic destinations - even if this world could only be inhabited inside the constructs of your imagination.

My story and the impact Powder had on the direction I would take is hardly unique. The magazine left an indelible impression on countless skiers. When the news broke this fall that operations were being suspended indefinitely, a heartbroken community took to social media to pay homage to the magazine and how it changed their lives and in some cases, careers. This is my version of a tribute and it’s definitely not perfect. In order to gain some perspective, I reached out to former staff members - a collective I admire and respect. It’s an attempt to articulate the essence of Powder, capture its influence on the skiing landscape and give credit to the people who made it come to life. 

Bernie Rosow, Mammoth Mountain, CA - Photo: Christian Pondella/POWDER

HANS LUDWIG - The Jaded Local

“Skiing has always been really tribal and one of the last vestiges of having an oral history. Powder was a unique concept, because they weren’t really concerned with the family market. They were just concerned about being really into skiing. Growing up in Colorado and skiing moguls, my coaches Robert and Roger were featured in the early Greg Stump films. Being in their orbit, I knew a little bit about skiing culture and what was going on out there, but didn’t have the whole picture. The Stump films resonated with me, but Ski/Skiing Magazines didn’t really do it for me. Powder was the door that opened things culturally, it was the only entry point before Blizzard of Aahhh’s.”

“Something that nobody gives Powder credit for, is sponsoring the Greg Stump, TGR and MSP movies and giving them full support right from their inception. It legitimized those companies and helped them become one of the catalysts for change and evolution in skiing. Ultimately this change would have happened, but at a much slower pace without the support of Powder. Getting support from Powder meant they’d weeded out the posers and kooks and what they were backing wasn’t something or someone that was “aspiring” they were a cut above.”

“Powder brought a lot of things into the mainstream, raised awareness and helped to legitimize them: Jean-Marc Boivin, Patrick Vallencant, Pierre Tardivel, telemarking, monoskiing, snowboarding, the JHAF, Chamonix, La Grave, Mikaela Shiffrin, fat skis pre McConkey, skiing in South America….the list goes on.”

“I had some rowdy trips with Powder. Writing “Lost In America,” I went Utah-Montana-Fernie-Banff-Revelstoke via pickup truck, only backcountry skiing and camping in the mud. It was a month plus. I did another month plus in Nevada, which was after back to back Jackson and Silverton. Total time was two plus months. That was fucked up, I was super loose after that whole thing. So many sketchy days with total strangers”

“People forget that Powder was around long before the advent of the fucking pro skier. Starting in 1996, the magazine was in the impact zone of the ski industrial complex. There is limited space for content each season. It was a challenge to balance the pressure coming from the athletes and brands to cover something that was going to make them money vs. staying true to the Moe brothers original intent and profiling an eccentric skier, a unique location or even fucking ski racing.”

Full Circle - Photo: MJ Carroll

KEITH CARLSEN - Editor

“When I was young, Ski/Skiing didn’t do anything for my spirit, but Powder lit me up. It ignited a passion in diehard skiers and gave them a voice and community. It was focused on the counter culture - the type of people who rearrange their lives to ski. This was in direct opposition to other magazines that were targeting rich people, trying to explain technique, sell condos or highlight the amenities at a ski area.”

“Skiing has always been my outlet and mechanism to get away from things in life. My two talents are writing and photography, so I enrolled at Western State with the direct goal of landing an internship at Powder. Even at 19, I had complete focus on the direction I wanted to take. If it didn’t work out, my backup plan was to be a ski bum. 48 hours after graduating, I was headed to southern California to live in my van and start my position at Powder. When the decision was made to close the magazine, it was really personal for me. Powder had provided me direction in life for the last 30 years and I needed some time to process it. In a way, it was almost like going to a funeral for a good friend - even though it’s gone, the magazine lives on in all of us and can never be taken away.”

“It was, and will always remain, one of my life’s greatest honors to serve as the editor-in-chief for Powder Magazine. It was literally a dream that came true. I’m so grateful for everyone who came before me and everyone who served after me. That opportunity opened literally hundreds of doors for me and continues to do so today. I owe the magazine a massive debt of gratitude. Every single editor was a warrior and fought for the title with their lives. They were doing double duty - not only from competition with other publications, but the internal struggle of budget cuts, staff reductions and trying to do more with less. Powder never belonged in the hands of a corporation. The magazine spoke to an impassioned community and never made sense to an accountant or on a ledger.”

Trevor Petersen, Mt. Serratus, BC - Photo: Scott Markewitz/POWDER

SIERRA SHAFER - Editor In Chief

“Powder celebrated everything that is good and pure in skiing. It highlighted the old school, the new and the irreverent. The magazine also called bullshit when they saw it. It was a checkpoint, a cultural barometer and an honest reflection on where skiing has been and where it’s going.”

“My involvement with Powder came completely out of left field. I was never an intern or established in the ski industry. My background was strictly in journalism, I was a skier living in Southern California and editing a newspaper. I knew that I wanted to get the fuck out of LA and Powder was that opportunity. It was a huge shift going from my job and life being completely separate to work becoming my life. Literally overnight, Powder became everything - friends, connections and part of my identity. It derailed my trajectory in the best possible way.”

Brad Holmes, Donner Pass, CA - Photo: Dave Norehad/POWDER

MATT HANSEN - Executive Editor

“Keith Carlsen was a man of ideas, he had tremendous vision and influence. He came up with the ideas for Powder Week and the Powder Awards in 2001. In some respects those two events saved the magazine.”

“Powder was the soul of skiing and kept the vibe, it changed people’s lives and inspired them to move to a ski town. As a writer I always wanted to think it was the stories that did that, but in truth it was the photography. Images of skiing truly became an art form, 100% thanks to Powder Magazine and Dave Reddick. Dave cultivated and mentored photographers, he was always searching for the unpredictable image from around the world and pressed the photographers to look at things from a different angle.”

“It sounds cliche, but writing a feature about Chamonix was the highlight for me. Sitting on the plane, things were absolutely unreal. I linked up with Nate Wallace and the whole experience from start to finish was out of my comfort zone. Ducking ropes to ski overhead pow on the Pas De Chèvre, walking out of the ice tunnel on a deserted Aiguille du Midi right as the clouds parted, late nights in town that were too fuzzy to recall. The energy of the place taught me a lot. I didn’t have a smartphone and there was no Instagram - I had time to write, observe, take notes and be present with who I was and with the experience. As a writer it didn’t get any better.”

“The true gift of working for Powder, was the once in a lifetime adventures that I wish I could have shared with my family, I was so lucky to have had those opportunities. It almost brought tears to me eyes.”

Peter Romaine, Jackson Hole, WY - Photo: Wade McKoy/POWDER

DAVE REDDICK - Director of Photography

“Just ski down there and take a photo of something, for cryin’ out loud!”  “I’ve found that channeling McConkey has been keeping it in perspective. Powder’s been shuttered. That sucks. What doesn’t suck is the good times and the people that have shared the ride thus far and I’m just thankful to be one of them. There’s been some really kind sentiments from friends and colleagues, but this must be said - Every editor (especially the editors), every art director (I’ve driven them nuts), every publisher and sales associate, every photographer, writer, and intern, and all the others behind the scenes who’ve ever contributed their talents get equal share of acknowledgment for carrying the torch that is Powder Mag. There’s hundreds of us! No decision has ever been made in a vacuum. Always a collective. At our best, we’ve been a reflection of skiers everywhere and of one of the greatest experiences in the world. It’s that community, and that feeling, that is Powder. I’m not sure what’s next and I’m not afraid of change but”  “There’s something really cool about being scared. I don’t know what!”

Scot Schmidt, Alaska - Photo: Chris Noble/POWDER

DEREK TAYLOR - Editor 

“Powder was the first magazine dedicated to the experience and not trying to teach people how to ski. It was enthusiast media focused on the soul and culture. It’s also important to highlight the impact Powder had outside of skiing - today you have the Surfer’s Journal effect where every sport wants that type of publication. However, prior to their inception, everybody wanted a version of Powder.”

“Neil Stebbins and Steve Casimiro deserve a lot of credit for the magazine retaining its voice and staying true to the core group of skiers it represented.”

“Keith Carlsen is responsible for the idea behind Super Park. This was a time when skiing had just gone through a stale phase. There was a newfound energy in park skiing and younger generations, this event helped to rebrand Powder and solidify its goal of being all inclusive. Racing, powder, park, touring - it’s all just skiing.”

Joe Sagona, Mt. Baldy, CA - Photo: Dave Reddick/POWDER

JOHNNY STIFTER - Editor In Chief

“What did Powder mean to me... Well, everything. As a reader and staffer, it inspired me and made me laugh. I learned about local cultures that felt far away and learned about far away cultures that didn’t feel foreign, if that makes sense.”

“But I cherished those late nights the most, making magazines with the small staff. Despite the deadline stress, I always felt so grateful to be working for this sacred institution and writing and editing for true skiers. We all just had so much damn fun. And it didn’t hurt meeting such passionate locals at hallowed places, like Aspen and Austria, that I once dreamed of visiting and skiing. The Powder culture is so inclusive and so fun, I never felt more alive.”

Doug Coombs, All Hail The King - Photo: Ace Kvale/POWDER

HEATHER HANSMAN - Online Editor

“Powder is a lifestyle and an interconnected circle of people. It’s about getting a job offer at Alta, opening your home to random strangers, locking your keys in your car and getting rescued by a friend you made on a trip years ago. Through the selfish activity of skiing, you can create a community of people you cherish and can depend on through highs and lows.”

Ashley Otte, Mike Wiegele Heli, BC - Photo: Dave Reddick/POWDER

The contributions of so many talented individuals made the magazine possible. I would like to express my sincere gratitude to everyone who shared their experience at Powder with me. Also, I want to thank Porter Fox and David Page for crafting inspiring feature stories that I enjoyed immensely over the years.

After the reality set in that the final issue had arrived, a void was created for generations of skiers. I’ve been focused on being thankful for what we had, rather than sad it’s gone. It’s a challenging time for print media and I wholeheartedly advocate supporting the remaining titles in anyway you can. In a culture driven by a voracious appetite for mass media consumption and instant gratification - I cherish the ritual of waiting for a magazine to arrive, appreciating the effort that went into creating the content and being able to have that physical substance in my hand. Thanks for everything Powder, you are missed, but your spirit lives on.  

Captain Powder - Photo: Gary Bigham/POWDER

[rynhaswritersblock]

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the  S E C O N D  HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start  r u n n i n g   a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

:)

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily