#I’m sure many people would be able to explain you all the many reasons why but the truth is

[ishipmutualrespect]

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[wttcsms]

diesel is desire (we were playing with fire) ; sebastian sallow

pairing sebastian sallow x f!reader word count 4k synopsis sebastian sallow is a good friend. so good, in fact, that when you find yourself under the ungodly influence of a lust potion, he's willing to help give you some relief. content contains seventh year au, dubcon (under the influence of lust potion), darker take on seb's character lol <3, breeding kink, creampie, possessive!sebastian, possessive sex, virginity loss, babytrapping

“Why did you go out of your way to avoid me?” 

An accusatory voice momentarily breaks you free from the overwhelming feelings you were struggling to deal with, but the voice is too familiar.

The source? Sebastian Sallow — a very disappointed Sebastian Sallow, which after two years of friendship (and the lingering what-if of becoming something more), you’re able to identify as a Sebastian that you would much rather not be dealing with. Particularly because, try as hard as he might, he’s rather prone to saying harsh things and treating you unkindly whenever he gets into one of his moods. The hurt expression on his face is barely concealed by the scowl that mars his otherwise handsome features. 

Don’t think about how handsome he is!

Instead of replying to him, you’re quick to turn your head to the side, trying to focus on the curtain that separates your cot from the others in the infirmary. It’ll do no good to engage with Sebastian right now — not whenever the reason you’ve been compelled to check yourself in to the school nurse is purely because you’re not sure if you have enough self-control to stop yourself from literally ripping his robes off of him.

But it’s not like you can tell him all that. Lying would be preferable, if only Sebastian wasn’t so attuned to you and every single one of your tells. If you attempted lying to him, who knows what more damage you would cause? Then again, blatantly ignoring him also seems equally dangerous, especially with how quick to irritate he’s been lately. Ever since you witnessed him literally murdering his uncle, the relationship between the two of you has grown stronger — being practically partners in crime will do that to a friendship — but also more… volatile. The charming fifth-year you met on your first day of school still remains, but you have long since realized that there’s more to him than meets the eye.

On the surface, he’s nothing but affable. Maybe a bit of a rebellious streak, but it’s all in good nature. In the beginning, it was fun being with him. Exciting, even. Then you started following him on the dark path he paved all by himself, and before you could realize that you were in too deep, it had already been too late to turn around. Now, the seventh-year boy standing by your cot seems so different from the one who lives on only in your memories.

“Don’t ignore me.” He means to make the words come out sharp, irritated. It resembles more of a plea than anything, and you shut your eyes, willing him to leave. It must be all in your head, but you swear you can smell the familiar scent of him: cool mint mixed with the light musk of whatever cologne he’s been favoring since the fifth year. 

“Sebastian, I’m not feeling very well.” You mumble, hoping it’ll be enough to get him to leave you alone. It’s not a lie. You aren’t feeling great whatsoever. Not even the nurse, bless her heart, can figure out what’s become of you. She gave you a pitying look and an almost amused smile as she explained that — in her words — sexual urges are very normal for girls your age. 

If your body wasn’t already overheating, you’re certain your cheeks would have instantly turned hot from sheer embarrassment. 

“Well, why wouldn’t you tell me that instead of abandoning me the whole entire day?” Sebastian is many things with different people. With you, he is both guarded and vulnerable. Some days, when you’re not feeling your best, his emotions versus his actions can give you whiplash. He has the audacity to say something like that all the while, he sounds absolutely tortured over the fact that he had to go eight hours without your presence. 

As if realizing the harshness of his attitude, he softens his tone as he asks, “Are you feeling any better?”

You had gone to the Great Hall before him because you needed to review your History of Magic notes before the test today. All you had was a bit of pumpkin juice and toast, and all had been well until you started feeling warm underneath your robes and sweater. As the heat began to travel through your body, you found it hard to concentrate on your notes. Not because of the heat, but because of the many thoughts swirling around in your head. Flashes of Sebastian that started innocently enough and quickly morphed into daydreams of him without his uniform. Sebastian with his hair messed up from the way your fingers tugged at the strands as he satiated his thirst with the juices flooding between your legs. Sebastian who would prioritize your pleasure over his and could make you cum multiple times before even thinking about getting his dick wet. Sebastian—

—who you share most of your classes with! 

You knew right then and there that something had to be wrong with you. Sure, you’ve thought about him sometimes, but never to that degree. And certainly never at seven in the morning over breakfast and history notes. 

That’s how you ended up lying in a cot in the infirmary, trying your hardest to ignore the intrusive thoughts of Sebastian fucking you ‘til you can’t walk anymore. 

“No.” You practically moan out the word, and you’re hoping to play it off as just you being a baby about being “sick”. 

You don’t expect him to turn your head so that you’re staring up at the ceiling, and you certainly don’t expect him to press the back of his hand against your forehead. His hands are cold, but surprisingly enough, it brings you some sort of relief from the fever that has seemingly overtaken your body. You bite back another moan. 

“You’re burning up.” Gone is his attitude. Instead, it’s been replaced by your favorite Sebastian — the kind, caring one. The one that resembles the boy you first met. Sometimes, his care can be suffocating, but when you find yourself craving nothing but him and his touch, you don’t mind his invasion of your personal space at all. “Are there any other side effects? Does your throat hurt? Stomach? Tell me what’s the matter.” 

You know how Sebastian must feel when it comes to people he cares about falling ill. His sister has only made him more paranoid about the severity of sickness and curses, and the concern and fear etched upon his face makes your hardened resolve of keeping the sordid details of your affliction to yourself melt away.

“Don’t laugh…” You warn him, but your voice seems so small and maybe even a little scared that his expression turns even more serious.

“Never.”

“I think… I think something happened to me. A charm…” You’re careful to dance around the word curse, lest Sebastian accidentally blows up the whole entire infirmary due to his emotional state. “I just feel very hot. And, um, I think the only relief would be to—”

You can’t even say it. You can barely even explain it since you don’t really know what’s happening either. 

“I’mfeelingverysexuallyfrustratedandIhavenomeansofrelief!” 

The two of you know that you’re never going to repeat that phrase ever again, and you’re practically near tears after that little confession. 

“Oh.” He says, as if this is nothing more than a simple, casual conversation and not the most humiliating situation ever. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” 

“Be-because it’s embarrassing!” Has he really no shame? Who would willingly admit that out loud? 

“You know, I’ve heard rumors of some sixth-years trying to pull pranks by spiking the juices with love potions. Just really gimmicky concoctions, truly. Nothing too severe. Hmm… You must have a sensitivity to it, though.” Sebastian’s musings do nothing to bring you reassurance. If anything, it just makes you want to hide. If the universe is truly kind, a sinkhole will emerge from nowhere and swallow you whole. Yes, that sounds lovely right now. 

Instead, the universe is sick, because what else could explain Sebastian telling you, 

“If it’s relief you need, I’d be happy to help.” 

Sebastian is many things to you — a dear friend, a confidant, a literal partner in crime — but none of those things involve him having sex with you, even if the offer only came from some odd sense of duty. 

And that’s what this is, isn’t it? He probably feels indebted to you since the fifth-year. Maybe even anxious, too. You could expose him at any given moment, and maybe that’s why he’s been so keen on attaching himself to your side ever since. This is a humiliating predicament to be in, and Sebastian doesn’t seem like the type to kiss and tell — considering that you don’t even know the names of girls he’s been with before is evidence. 

Besides, you’re only feeling incredibly needy for one person. You can accept his offer, but you’re certainly not going to let him know the truth: that only he is the one who can help you. 

“Don’t be embarrassed.” His cool hand is now cupping your face, thumb brushing against your cheekbone in an almost gentle manner. Sweet Sebastian is making an appearance, perhaps to try to put you at ease. You like this Sebastian. “Just let me take care of you.” 

When the haze of lust clears from your sex-addled mind, the rush of consequences will burden and crush your very conscience. 

Fortunatenly enough, consequences are clearly the last thing on your mind.

It would appear that the only thing you can truly focus on is Sebastian and what his idea of ‘taking care of you’ is. 

The Sebastian staring greedily at you is an unfamiliar Sebastian. You’ve become accustomed to the many variations of himself: Angry Sebastian, who says the most vile things out of spite and usually misguided anger; Remorseful Sebastian, who is quick to grovel (he’s quite good at groveling, really) and wants nothing more than to be back in your good graces; Happy Sebastian, although there are variations upon this very variation — the trick to seeing whether he’s pseudo-happy or not is all in his smile (the fake one is eerily perfect, the real one is crooked and a rarity). This Sebastian, though…

Hungry. 

The word doesn’t quite explain the dark glint in his eyes or the way his hands are almost reverently stroking your body. Your skin felt so, so hot just a few minutes ago — then again, just a few minutes ago, you still had your school jumper and blouse neatly intact. Now, you’re laid practically bare, prey to Sebastian’s more-than predatory gaze. 

If the two of you weren’t such great friends, you might have had enough sense to be scared.

The only articles of clothing left to protect your dignity and shield you from his eyes are your skirt (which is already riding up to expose your thighs due to his wandering hands), your white cotton panties, and the matching bra. 

“How do you feel now?” He asks, and you want to tell him you’re still feeling embarrassed, but his hands feel surprisingly nice on your skin, and you can’t help but hunger for more. Perhaps the look in his eyes, the one you couldn’t quite find a proper name for, is the same look you’re giving him. 

“More.” You whimper out, not caring if you sound selfish or impatient. This is awful. The two of you should put a stop to… To whatever the hell this is! This is a horribly unbecoming, unsavory situation you are in, and if things progress like how you think they are going to (how you want them to), then you’re both dead once all the adults find out. Professor Weasley would probably force the two of you to be wedded within the next day of her finding out, not to mention that the headmaster would probably have the both of your heads on sticks.

But you don’t tell him to stop because your rational thought is slipping, much like your bra. You’re viewing everything almost as if in a trance, almost as if this is happening to someone else and not you. But it is very much you; it’s your nipples hardening after being exposed to the cool air of the infirmary. It’s your bra that Sebastian tosses to the side. He’s licking his lips, eyeing the expanse of skin that has been revealed to him. In ordinary circumstances, you’re certain you would make all attempts to cover yourself up and try to regain some sense of modesty.

In these circumstances, you practically arch your back and mewl out for more, more, more.

More touching. More skin-to-skin contact. More of Sebastian. You want him. All of him. Every part of him. You want his cock ramming into your cunt, you want his hands wrapped around your throat, his mouth spewing out words of filth right into your ear. Most importantly, even though all you can seemingly focus on is having him ravish you, you can’t help but to be greedy and dare to hunger for more. You want his secrets — all of them. You want to know the nightmares that plague him, and whether he’s full of regrets, just like you. You want to have a claim to his soul, just like how he already has a claim to yours. You want to know that when his heart beats, it is calling out for you. 

“I’m going to kiss you now.” He announces, like he’s waiting for you to protest. He’s not directly asking, but the question is still there, as is the warning. Can I kiss you? If you let me, there’s no going back. 

“Please.” You whimper, completely and entirely at his mercy.

“Say it.” Sebastian swallows hard, almost as if he’s also nervous and too charged up with desire. His fingers are loosening his tie. He has already shrugged off his robes. 

He doesn’t tell you want to say, but you already know what he wants to hear. The words have been resting on the tip of your tongue this whole entire time, anyway. 

“I want you to— to kiss me, and more…” You look into his eyes. The lights in the infirmary make them appear a lighter color than usual. “I want more. I want you, Sebastian.”

The moment the last confession slips from your soft lips, Sebastian’s mouth descends upon your own. His body is angled awkwardly, trying not to crush you with his weight, but you can feel the heat emanating from him all the same, even despite the layers of his clothing that separates the two of you. 

You think the world stops spinning when his lips slot against yours. He tastes like the pumpkin juice from this morning, sweet and refreshing. There’s a lingering taste of spearmint toothpaste. You want to keep kissing him forever. You want him to kiss you everywhere else. When breathing becomes a necessary thing, he stops. You frown. You didn’t want him to stop. Oxygen is overrated, anyway. 

He lays a hand against the pillow you’re resting on, staring down at you, want clearly displayed on his visage; desire is etched onto every facial feature, and his eyes are gazing so intently into yours, you wonder if he’s a Legilimens. 

“Promise me you won’t regret this. Swear that you truly do want this.” 

He must not be a Legilimens, then. It’s so clear you’ve been in… It feels odd to admit it. Wrong, even. But it’s the truth—

—you’ve been in love with him since the fifth year.

You don’t keep someone’s secrets, their crimes, to yourself when you don’t love them. You let him perform Cruciatus on you, and you forgave him. No — you didn’t. Because you asked him to. There was nothing to forgive. You would endure it, over and over and over again, just for him, only him. And to think, you’re flooding your panties just at some simple fantasies of him, and he has the nerve to believe you don’t want this? Don’t want him?

“I promise. I swear it to you. I want this entirely.” And maybe liquid courage had been slipped into the juice you’ve consumed as well because you find yourself admitting, “I’ve always wanted to do this with you. If it… If it had to be done the first time around, I would always dream of you doing it to me.” 

He stops breathing, just for a moment. Gapes at you, even. 

“Y-you’re a virgin?” 

You wonder if you’ve gone off and ruined the mood. You wonder if you should take it back, say you were just joking, but before you can, his lips are pressing against yours once again. This kiss is even hungrier than the last, and you’re not quite sure how that’s even possible. It’s almost as if he wants to devour you whole. 

“Thank you.” He gasps out, so close to you that his breath tickles your nose. “Thank you for entrusting me with this, love. I promise I’ll make it good for you, just as you deserve.” 

And suddenly Sebastian is just everywhere. His sweater is discarded on the floor, right next to your bra and his tie. His belt is unclasped; he hasn’t even bothered to remove it entirely, just displaced it enough to where he can unbutton his trousers, and he’s pulling it down — his pants, that is. And the briefs. He hasn’t entirely disposed of everything, just partially. Meticulous Sebastian Sallow who is now so far gone into lust and depravity that he cannot even handle wasting another second by removing himself entirely of his clothes. You have made a man into a beast.

But you see the way he’s eyeing you — all dark hair and sharp teeth. He flips your skirt up, exposing your damp panties to him, and he licks his lips again, and you realize — perhaps too late, or perhaps you’ve known all this time — that Sebastian has always been a bit of a beast. A wolf only coyly imitating domesticity. 

“You’re so wet.” He brushes a finger against your cotton-covered folds, and you shiver. 

Yes! Your body seems to cry out. More, more, more! Your back arches, keening, craving his touch. You’re soaking through the fabric, making it practically translucent. You’ve never been this wet before in your life. You’ve never wanted his touch more badly than you do now. 

“For me.” He mutters, but in the silence of the infirmary, you hear him all too clearly. “Is this all for me, love? Have you been like this all day?”

You nod, not trusting yourself to form coherent sentences. Even if he’s not staring at your head, far too fixated at what’s between your legs, he hums his approval. 

“Don’t worry, my love. I’ll make it all better.” 

He’s kissing you. He’s got your panties only pulled to one side, and you think he’s muttering apologies against your saliva-coated lips. Something that sounds awfully like sorry, so sorry, but I can’t wait, and I don’t think you can, either. You barely catch a glimpse of his cock before you can feel the sharp heat of his length against your inner thigh. You would have thought that there would be some preparation, especially since this will be your first, but you’re thoroughly soaked. You’re aching for a sensation you have never felt before, but the animal inside of your brain is telling you, instinctually, to seek Sebastian out. That Sebastian will make it all better. That’s what he said he’ll do, and he’s kissing you, and he’s apologizing, and—

—and the world stops spinning.

No. There’s some slight resistance at first, your poor cunt protesting at the intrusion. A second later, and he’s slipping in half of his length with considerably more ease. A few inches more, and his hips are pressed against yours, and oh— Oh, it’s like you’re made for him. There is no resistance. There is no pain. There’s just you and him, and your body is welcoming him home. Where has he been? It seems to ask. Please don’t ever leave again. 

“Fuuuuck.” He hisses it out, and his teeth are gritted, and he’s admiring you. His eyes flicker to your face, down to your breasts, down down down right to where the two of you are connected. The word comes out broken, and yet, drawn out. As if he’s struggling to speak. 

Then he starts thrusting, and suddenly you realize that the world hasn’t ceased its spinning. No — now it’s moving entirely too fast. It must be off its axis. You feel otherworldly. You feel like this pleasure, this overwhelming, absolutely delicious pleasure, cannot simply exist on earth. It should be impossible. It should be impossible to find comfort and rapture in the way the tip of his cock seemingly kisses your cervix. You expect pain. 

You only find mindnumbing, earth shattering pleasure.

You feel stretched beyond your limits. You hear his pants and his groans, and you’re moaning, too. Calling out his name, which is so silly, he’s right there, he’s right there. There, at that special spot, at the spot you’ve never been able to discover on your own. You now know why adults advise so heavily against these type of relations — it’s simply addicting. You don’t think you can stop; you don’t think you want to stop.

“Oh, fuck. Fuck, you’re so good f’me. Such a good girl. My good girl, aren’t you?” He’s rambling. His thrusts are considerably sloppier, and you feel his thumb brush against your clit, and you arch your back some more, practically screaming out his name. The stimulation is too much — it’s not enough — and you will always crave him. “Tell me. Tell me that you’re mine.”

There’s something so, so addicting about his possession. About being treated like his possession. 

“Yours. M’yours, Seb. All—” You can’t finish your sentence. The pleasure is becoming too much, and you’re too sensitive, and he’s doing this thing, this absolutely amazing thing, where he rubs circles on your clit in tandem with his harsh thrusts, and you’re cumming. You don’t ever want to come down. 

He feels you cum, sees your juices drench his cock as he pulls out, only to push right back in, relishing in the feeling of your contracting walls. He leans down, biting on your neck, and you take a hand to grip his dark hair, still cumming, and now he is, too. Spurts of his cum are flooding into you, painting your walls, successfully staking his unrivaled claim on you. You have been compromised. If anyone were to find the two of you out, you would have no other choice but to take his hand, his ring, his family name, him. You would have to take it all.

Coming down from his high, he has enough kindness left in him to lick at the wound he’s left on your neck. Your eyes are fluttering close, the intensity of it all thoroughly exhausting you. You don’t know the thoughts swirling in his mind. You don’t sense the longing behind him stroking your stomach, wondering if the Felix Felicis — his bottled Liquid Luck he’s spent forever brewing — has done its job. It would surely be very lucky, indeed, if his seed takes this first time around. 

Your breathing slows, and he feels your heartbeat even out. You’re exhausted, poor thing. Perhaps he had been too rough.

He’ll apologize, he decides, by doing something that’ll benefit the both of you. He ought to clean you up, get you tucked in, and when you wake, he’ll go down on you. He bets you taste so sweet, so innocent. He had known, of course, that he was your first — that he was always going to be your first. Your only. 

He wonders if the effects of the lust potion will still linger in your system even after you wake up. Probably so — he did it brew it quite strongly.

But the adoration, the love, in your eyes is something no amount of skilled potioneering can create. No; your feelings for him are real. You just needed to lower your inhibitions to get to the confessional stage.

And now that you have confessed… 

Sebastian Sallow can rest well after confirming what he’s known ever since he first laid eyes on you:

You’re his.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, smut, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au p aring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> abuse, mention of sex / pregnancies, etc. words -> 2.3K

abstract -> Never owe people favors it could one day cost you your life...

y/n’s perspective

“Taeyong, you can’t be serious,” I said as I was now in the office of the devil himself. And he's called to get his end in a favor. “You owe me,” he said and I scoffed. 

“You’re literally chasing in a favor from when I was in college,” I said and he only grinned. “You still owe me. Besides, it shouldn't be dangerous” and I scoffed at his reassurance. 

“It's just an interview. You’ll wear a wire, and all I need is evidence” he asked and I sighed. “Fine. But I won't risk my life for this, Taeyong” I said and he nodded. 

“I would never put you in a dangerous situation. This won’t hurt you”

“Do you have to do this? Or at least take one of us with you?” Yeosang asked and I shook my head. “I have to repay him. He helped me a lot in college… besides he's trying to do a good thing” I explained and they sighed. “You’ll be okay right?” Wooyoung asked as he hugged me tightly. 

“Of course, he explained that I'll be going in for an interview and he’ll be listening in case. He will only interfere once he's gotten information though, so I won't be in danger. This won't affect us” I assured them and they nodded. 

“Be careful, circus hybrids are some of the most deprived and abused hybrids” San warned and I nodded. Over the years people stopped performing with animals and advanced to hybrids because of their ability to be trained and have a human way of thinking

Even though many people thought it was better it's not too well known that it's abusive to them just repeating history. “Be careful” they said as I was now on the elevator waving bye to the boys. 

They've really grown. 

I’ve officially had San and Wooyoung for five months. Whilst Yeosang joined us two months ago. It's actually been seven months since I originally adopted Son. I couldn’t be happier to have them by my side. 

Now I had to pay my debt to the devil named Taeyong. He truly does hold grudges… 

I walked into the VIP line where I showed my journalist ticket. I would be able to take pictures, and even conduct an interview. As I walked in I noticed the hybrids on display. 

There were two specifically at the entrance. They had bold big letters ‘MATZ’. They were meant to sit there in a glass box… it didn’t even have enough room to walk one step. In a smaller print were their names. 

Seinghwa was the one smiling and bowing, whilst Hongjoong only stared. He would be too far down, he could probably be dangerous. The ones around me started flashing lights at them… it clearly bothered them. I made sure to ask Taeyong to give me a camera without a flash. I took a photo of the surroundings. Another reason why he had me do this job and not Mark was because I have a hybrid specialist license to see and even handle red-coded hybrids with supervision. 

I knew how to analyze their behaviors. So when I saw Hongjoong, he had the potential to be a black code hybrid. 

“Hello! Welcome, it's an honor to see such esteemed guests !! I hope you may enjoy the show !--” as he spoke I saw his ringmaster look. He had jesters and clown costumed people handle hybrids. A few were assigned to cuff and ensure ‘MATZ’ did not act out.

They were tigers and therefore dangerous. 

“-- Of course, if you need help please ask one of my staff. I look forward to the interviews I’m scheduled for” he said as he left. As the staff looked at our tickets I was led to the back. I was given a pre / post-interview. 

“Hello, I’m going to be conducting an interview?” I said as I now saw the ringleader with the two tigers. They had chains connecting to their collar which looked like ones that were for black code hybrids. 

“Ah yes, may I ask which firm it is under?” he asked and I nodded. “It would be under the N.E.O. Firm” I stated and he nodded. 

“I see. How is Dong Sicheng ?” he asked and I smiled. “He’s actually on vacation at the moment. Last I heard he was in China visiting a few friends. '' I answered and he chuckled. 

“I know, your firm isn’t too keen on me,” he said and I noticed the curious eyes of the tigers. “Well, the firm has hybrid rights associated. It has been for years now” I answered and he nodded with calculating eyes. 

“That it is. Though I can assure you, our hybrids are treated like family” he said and I smiled softly as I wrote down notes of the two hybrids behind him. They were clearly agitated by his words, almost like he was lying.

“Well then. What are your questions?” he asked politely. “How many hybrids currently do you have registered?” I asked and he nodded. “Around fifty dear,” he said and I nodded. “And all are vaccinated with the current hybrid regulations, health up-to-date, VISA’s registered?” I asked and he answered yes. 

So he denied hybrid trafficking, and hybrid health neglect.

“May I ask you to talk about MATZ?'' I asked and he nodded. “These two were born into the circus. Their parents are a mix from our circus and a breeder which I know personally” he explained and I saw how Seonghwa kept on staring at my coat. His ears were twitching and I noticed Hongjoong’s glare at me….

“These two are such close friends we thought that a show would be most beneficial and fun for them,” he said while lifting his hands to pet their heads making them both clearly uncomfortable. Seonghwa stared wearily whilst Hongjoong looked like he could bite any minute.

“May I ask if I own hybrids?” He asked and I contemplated. “Decline anything in your personal life” I heard on the headpiece Taeyong gave me.

“No, I do not,” I said and he nodded. “Are you against the ownership?” He asked and I shook my head. “Not necessarily… it would take a lot of circumstances for me to adopt a hybrid,” I said and the ringmaster only nodded. 

“I can assure you every hybrid here is taken care of, and we’ll look after it, '' he said and I noticed Seonghwa's gaze. It wasn’t like Hongjoong’s glare; it was almost like he was pleading for help. 

“What’s the situation with heats?” I asked and he chuckled… “I don’t believe in heat suppressants. I let them go on with it with the other gender hybrid” he explained. 

Meaning it's how he has so many hybrids… he’s illegally breeding them. “Are you not worried about pregnancies?” I asked.

“No… some of our female hybrids are sterile so they can’t reproduce either way” he explained.

It wasn’t abuse per se to sterilize a hybrid… but it was being argued for hybrid rights.

“How long have you had this duo?” I asked curious. “Hmm, these two rascals? Well, they were born in 1998 and they’ve been with me since then.” He said and I nodded.

Would they speak out against their master? They would’ve seen everything… been through… everything.

“Sir?” I heard a clown asking for the attention of his boss. “Ah give me a moment my dear, why not have an exclusive interview with a MATZ performer. Hongjoong needs some touching up so Seonghwa treats her nicely '' be said and I knew the reason why they took the orange tiger away was because of his behavior.

“Be careful, an abuse hybrid can be triggered at any mention of abuse. Ask simple questions.” Taeyong said and before I could start I looked at him.

He stared at me with soft eyes and a smile... it shocked me how gentle his expression looked.

“I’m not fragile for you not to ask me,” he said and I felt my eyes widen. “The moment you walked in I heard that radio of yours… it kinda hurt at first” he confessed.

“I’m sorry,” I said but I couldn’t turn it off for my safety.

“It’s alright… you're not the first person to come here to infiltrate this place,” he said with his ears flattening on his head. He was losing hope for himself.

“How many hybrids are there?” I asked and he sighed. “I’ve lost count… it is over a hundred by now and more to come” he explained. “Oh, and he doesn’t register hybrids in case they die. It’s a miracle to even survive birth here… let alone survive being a baby here. We aren’t checked for until we’re cubs… after that, we’re never looked after again. The only thing he’ll ask to do is hygiene for his top performers” he explained.

“I’ve heard of your firm from the clowns… they hate you,” he said and I chuckled. “They said something about a girl writing about hybrid rights. Since then they’ve shut down several enterprises” he said and I smiled.

My reputation follows me.

“They might know who you are, be careful,” Taeyong said and Seonghwa only stared at me with twitching ears.

“You must have really good hearing to catch it,” I said and he smiled softly with his tail swishing behind him.

“Thanks… but it comes in handy with the staff,” he said and I sighed. 

“Do you have anything you want to tell me?” I asked and he swallowed down saliva showing how nervous he was.

“I’ll tell you everything if you manage to burn this place down,” he said and I sighed. “How about we make a promise?” I asked and he looked at me confused.

“I’ll shut this place down… but that’ll be the easy part. I’ll still need some more evidence after to concrete it” I asked and he nodded.

“Good luck”

The show was like any other hybrid show. 

You could see the fear in hybrid's eyes when they made a mistake and had to cover it. Clowns and performers have the upper hand. 

MATZ had the opening… they did dangerous stunts. There were a few times they stumbled but otherwise did the best they could. The crowd loved them… I saw the contrast of the two… fear and anger.

Once the show was over I did a closing statement with the ringmaster and some staff who showed me around.

“And our opening act. Did you enjoy it?” they asked and I smiled when I saw Seonghwa and Hongjoong in a tiny cage. It had enough room for the both of them but it must've made them feel trapped.

The staff were talking to other reporters when I noticed the heavy glare Hingjoong was giving me.

Seonghwa got his attention and looked to be scolding him only for him to scoff. He looked over at me and bowed in an apology in which I shook my head. 

“I hope you enjoyed the show” 

seonghwa’s pov

As the reporters left with the staff, Hongjoong glared at me. “Quit acting that way” I scolded and he scoffed

“She’s not the first person to come here asking for questions with a wire,” he said and I sighed.

“You heard what they said about that firm though—“ “She also said how she didn’t own any hybrids but owned three,” he said and I was confused. 

“She has hybrid scents reading out of her. You shouldn’t trust humans so easily… one day it’ll be you they’re disposing of” he said and I looked down.

“I… sorry. I didn’t mean for that to come out that way. I’m just sick of this Seonghwa but this is our life and it’ll never change” he said and I chose not to believe that. 

I had hoped that she’d complete her promise.

“Hongjoong…. Sometimes you just have to have faith that people are still good. We don’t know how it is outside… maybe it’s different” I said and he sighed.

“But is it any better?” He asked and before I could respond I heard yelling.

“Woah!? What are you doing?!” I heard as I saw the ringmaster following… policemen? 

“This place is being temporarily shut down for inspection and so are the hybrids in this vicinity. If we find anyone trying to smuggle or hide evidence you’ll be under arrest for tampering with a crime scene” he said and I also noticed people with white lab coats. 

“Start arresting staff members and performers. Contain all the hybrids as well” he ordered and the last thing I saw was Hongjoong defying them whilst I felt a sharp pain in my neck.

Everything could only get better… right?

Waking up in a white and cold room was not what I expected…

“White tiger hybrid seems to be malnourished, untreated second-degree burns, underweight, untreated cuts, and dehydrated. Seems to be approximately 25 years old and unclassified code due to tranquilizer” I heard… Was that a doctor?

I tried sitting up but my wrists were bound. 

“You’re awake? Are you going to comply?” he asked me and I noticed how close he was. He seemed to purposely try to annoy me… “Classified as yellow. He’s one of the tame ones” he said into the radio. Classifications? I knew very little of that… but yellow wasn’t bad?

“The orange tiger is awake, and is showing a lot of aggression” I heard on his radio… Hongjoong? “Tranquilize him,” the doctor said and I struggled against the constraints. “He’s your partner, right? They won’t hurt him, but he will hurt us… he’s in good hands'' he said and I scoffed. Like I’d trust humans now after… 

“What happened to the reporter?” I asked and he looked at me confused. “She promised to help me… what did she do?” I asked and he hummed. “She’ll be conducting interviews this following week. So be on your best behavior or you’ll end up in a higher code” he said as he left the room. 

She actually… helped us?

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[rileyslibrary]

Chest candy for Ghost and the 141! After many successful missions (and being the baddest bitches in general) the team is going to receive some medals. Ghost tries everything in his power to not have to attend the ceremony. Having to wear that stupid ceremonial uniform, all the attention and the fuzz around them - that sounds like hell to him. He's just doing his goddamn job after all.

A/N: I was very disappointed when I learned what a chest candy is, ngl. A literal version (like a crate filled with gummies and stuff) would be so much better. Anyway, on with the story.

———————————————————————

“You walk like you’re chafed down there, mate.”

Ghost stops and shoots a threatening look at Soap. And reasonably so—your poor lieutenant was trying his best. Price negotiated with him, and they reached an agreement for today’s dress code—he would put on the fancy uniform but keep the balaclava on.

The captain decided this was a fair exchange—persuading Ghost to wear anything other than camo deserved a chest candy of its own. Not only that, but many people will attend today’s ceremony; even worse, the press will also be there. There was no way he would get rid of his “comfort blanket.”

But, even a day without his camo, standing in front of strangers and being photographed, is a century for the lieutenant.

You, Soap and Ghost are preparing for the event in the town hall’s bathroom. Ghost struggles to walk in his new shoes, so you figured some practice might help. You made him walk across the bathroom stalls, which was an unfortunate location since Soap was already in one of the toilets and popped out, offering a “helping” hand.

But it’s not just the shoes that hinder his ability to act normal. He seems to struggle with something deeper within himself. He constantly fidgets, readjusts his blazer, pulls at his collar, and avoids direct eye contact. His gaze constantly darts between you, the sink, the floor, and back to you again.

Except for now.

He’s staring at Soap like a feral animal, ready to leap on its prey. And you get it. You do. Given what he’s used to, this situation should be tough and quite uncomfortable.

He slowly shifts away from Soap and towards you.

“What do you think?” he asks.

“Tell him,” Soap taunts you with his arms crossed, “tell him how he looks.”

“Why are you still in here?” You snap at him.

“I’m sorry!” Soap shouts and throws his hand up, “Have you guys booked the toilets for a private viewing?”

You close your eyes and rub your forehead. This better not escalate.

“Can you please leave us alone for a mom—”

“How about forever?” Ghost snaps.

“Fine”, Soap says and heads for the exit. “Just don’t let him pull another runaway bride on us again, okay?”

You wave for him to exit the bathroom. Soap does as he’s told, and you lean against one of the stalls. You examine the lieutenant from head to toe, but he’s too busy patting and pulling at the blazer to notice you. He grabs his tie and tugs at it.

“Don’t loosen the tie.” You command, “It’s supposed to be snug.”

“Who the fuck decided that wearing a noose around your neck is a good idea?” He says and starts tugging at his collar.

“And stop doing that to your collar—you’ll rip a button off.”

“It’s too tight.”

You approach him, place your index finger inside his collar, and trace the circumference.

“Ghost, it’s not that tight.”

“It sure feels like it.” He replies.

You sigh and slap your arms against your thighs. How will you make him understand what he’s feeling right now? He has to turn his attention inwards and observe his body. Acknowledge it. That’s the only way he’d be able to befriend his current state.

“Is the collar and tie the issue here, or is it your throat?” You ask.

He clasps his neck and looks at you, puzzled. “I don’t understand,” he says.

“Your throat,” you explain, “does it feel tight? Is there a lump when you swallow?”

He throws his head back and closes his eyes. He’s trying to become acquainted with his senses. He takes a deep breath and swallows hard.

“Affirmative,” he states, “a lump is indeed present.”

“It sucks, doesn’t it?”

He opens his eyes wide and nods slowly. “Sure does,” he murmurs.

“It feels like when we’re at the beginning of a mission, right?”

“Just like it.” He nods, “especially when we’re unsure of what we might come across.”

“How about,” you say as you straighten his tie, “We approach this event in the exact same way?”

“How?”

“What are the objectives here?” You ask.

“Get that fucking chest candy, and get the fuck out of here.”

“And what should we do to accomplish that?”

“Get up on the stage, shake some dickhead’s hand, and walk away.” He replies.

“How long would you recon that’ll take?”

He tilts his head. “About three minutes max.”

“That’s not too bad!” You shout and pat his chest, “Plus, I doubt the people awarding us want to be here either.”

He huffs. “You think so?”

“Of course! It’s just as inconvenient for them as it is for us.”

“Then why are we all doing this?” he wonders and throws his hands up, “Why pretend?”

“Because,” you reply, “sometimes in life, you must pretend; pretend to be strong, courageous, pretend to know what you’re doing even though you have no clue….”

“Fake it till you make it?” He asks.

You smile. “Yeah, Lt., fake it till you make it.”

He shakes his hands and kicks his feet. He straightens his suit and posture, then looks at the bathroom window.

“This won’t fit me this time, so we might as well get done with it as soon as possible,” he says and turns to you, “on me, soldier.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” You salute him.

You walk towards the entrance where the ceremony is taking place. Many people are in the room, but you always stay within his proximity to make him feel safe. Sometimes you direct him on what to do—shake this person’s hand, relax the shoulders, pose, stand over here.

He leans towards you while waving at another soldier.

“Do I walk like I’m sore?” He murmurs.

You smile at a photographer and lean towards Ghost.

“No,” you whisper, “why?”

“Soap said so.”

Fucking Soap. He was right; these shoes make him walk like a duck, but you can’t admit it, especially now. He’ll flee.

“Yeah, well,” you reply, “Soap also walks around with a mohawk on his head.”

“Ridiculous,” he says and laughs, “and here I am, wearing a full suit, right?”

You raise your head and look at his black-painted eyes and skull balaclava. He can’t be that delusional regarding what’s ridiculous and what isn’t. But if it helps him right now, so be it.

“Damn right, Lt.,” you say as you nudge his side, “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.”

———————————————————————

[musicforastylesrestaurant]

I have an ideaaa so maybe you like to write about it. Imagine harry having a long term girlfriend or even wife but they are so private and harry protects her so much that nobody in the general public really knows anything about her or their relationship and the fans eat up every single information or content they can get about her and their relationship.

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh Mysterious Girl.

masterlist || ask me anything &lt;3

authors note - this is my first time doing an instagram concept of sorts and i wanted to make it easy on myself and use manips of harry with someone who i chose queen selena, please don’t be harsh on me and enjoy. 🫶

━━━━━━━━┛ 💫 ┗━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━┓ 💫 ┏━━━━━━━━

2013.

liked by username, username and 413 others

harryupdates, Harry spotted going on a park walk with a mystery girl in London today!

tagged, harrystyles

view all comments,

username, who is she?

username, sorry but no

username, she’s actually so pretty!!

username, right?

username, his little beany 👉👈

username, they legit look like they could be siblings

username, they look so beautiful together

username, what part of London is this?

username, it was Hyde park!

username, if they’re dating then they make such a hot couple

username, PAPA

username, her names (Y/N) I’m not sure how old she is or what her job is but she’s from London

username, (Y/N) is such a cute name!

2015.

liked by username, username and 673 others

harryupdates, Harry and (Y/N) spotted at Louis’s mums wedding today!!

tagged, harrystyles, yourinstagram

view all comments

username, power couple right there!!

username, they attended her wedding together?

username, I mean they are dating so it would explain things 🤷‍♀️

username, it’s never been confirmed that they’re dating

username, his outfit is making me feel so many different thoughts

username, I don’t get what the hype of them is, she’s not even that pretty

username, don’t be so rude!

username, just because your jealous doesn’t mean that he can’t be happy

username, we better get the photo that she took on her phone

username, her Instagram accounts private so I highly doubt we will

username, I actually love them

username, she’s so gorgeous for literally no reason

username, imagine they got married as well

username, my life would officially end

username, if they got married they wouldn’t last, she’s probably a gold digger or something

liked by username, username and 1,381 others

harryupdates, Harry and (Y/N) arriving at the last ever one direction performance today!

tagged, harrystyles, yourinstagram

view all comments

username, we love a supportive gf

username, her smile is actually adorable

username, I spoke to her when they were arriving and she was actually one of the nicest people I’d ever spoken to

username, what did you say to her?! we need details!!

username, I said that her and Harry make a really cute couple and she said thank you and we have each other a hug

username, I need to meet both of them one day!

username, I can’t believe it’s the last show already

username, there outfits are actually so pretty!

username, I love the fact that we haven’t seen them together in almost five months and they just suddenly app at together out of no where

username, every time I see a notification that you’ve posted I hope that it’s something ti do with them

username, sometimes I just Google both there names and scroll through pictures of them

username, I don’t get why they get so much hate, I love them together !!

2017.

liked by username, username and 4,319 others

harryandynupdates, A photo montage of (Y/N) supporting Harry at the Dunkirk Premiere.

tagged, harrystyles, yourinstagram

view all comments

username, her red dress is so cute !!

username, her head resting on his shoulder is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

username, it’s officially confirmed that they’re dating

username, they look so in love

username, if they ever broke up I don’t think I’d be able to live

username, the kiss on the lips is making me feel a multitude of different things

username, I’m having heart palpitations over here

username, can they adopt me?

username, CONTENT CONTENT CONTENT

yourinstagram, thank you so much for creating this, I’m putting this as my lock screen as we speak. ❤️

username, (Y/N)!

username, the queen has spoken!

username, she commented, I repeat she commented !

username, she basically confirmed that they were dating

username, it’s been confirmed for ages we just never wanted to believe it.

liked by yourinstagram, jeffazof and 542,108 others

annetwist, Merry Christmas from my family to yours!🎄🎅

view all comments

username, I want to be part of there family Christmas so badly

username, seeing photos of (Y/N) actually make me so happy!

username, she’s so pretty for literally no reason

yourinstagram, thank you so much lovelies, it means a lot ❤️

username, I want there roast dinner

username, (Y/N) CONTENT (Y/N) CONTENT

username, isn’t Harry pescatarian?

username, doesn’t mean that the others can’t have turkey?

username, all the stockings on the fire place 🥹🥹

gemmastyles, one of the best Christmases ever! x

username, gem!

username, the better styles right there!

username, (Y/N) and Harry are legit couple goals

username, you and Gemma are mother and daughter goals

yourinstagram, one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had, thank you for having me. ❤️❤️

username, she’s so cute, I love it!

annetwist, it was my pleasure, darling. x

username, she’s part of the family, omds I’m sobbing 😭

username, the photo of (Y/N) and Harry in the snow!

username, CONTENT, MAMA YOUR FEEDING US

username, (Y/N)s officially part of the annual Christmas photo

username, she’s winning at life right now

username, (Y/N) OUR QUEEN! 👸 👸

2019.

liked by username, username and 6,310 others

harryupdates, Harry speaking about (Y/N) in his recent interview with Zane Lowe!

“I met my fiancé when we were just eighteen and didn’t officially start dating until I gained the courage to ask her out at a mutual friends party, she’s my best friend and always will be, she’s my biggest inspiration and honestly don’t know what I’d be doing if I hadn’t of met her…I didn’t really think I’d ever be in love, not in this degree anyway. My whole family adore her just as much as me and that’s all I could ever ask for.

she knew what she was getting into when we started dating and that’s what I think made us want to keep our relationship so private, I don’t want her exposed to all the paparazzi knowing the cruel things that they can say, I like to think I’m an open book and seeing how she is with my life styles, and my fans makes me love her even more, which I didn’t think was at all possible.”

tagged, harrystyles

view all comments.

username, FIANCE?

username, you kept that one quiet mister!

username, (Y/N)s not even that pretty, he deserves better

username, literally stfu pls and thx

username, get a life

username, he’s so happy

username, I love that his family love her as well, that makes her even more special!

nicolasgrimshaw, Its' me! I'm the friend!!

username, NICK!

username, LOVE THAT <3

username, nick the match maker

username, his biggest inspiration, sobbing on the floor

username, currently digging my own grave as we speak

username, he deserves to be with someone who can deal with his celebrity status, she’s obviously to weak if he has to say that about her in an interview

username, keyboard warrior

username, if she had an issue with his life she would have left a long time ago

liked by gemmastyles, nicolasgrimshaw and 431,481 others

annetwist, Happy Birthday sweet heart, here’s to 25! 🥂

tagged, yourinstagram

view all comments

username, she calls her sweet heart, I'm sobbing!

username, hey Anne, I was wondering if you could adopt me, <3

username, don't ask me why this made me so emotional its literally just a picture

username, her smile 😭😭

username, shes legit so pretty for real 💗

username, we finally found out her age!

username, was she smiling at harry when this photo was being taken?

yourinstgram, ❤️️❤️️❤️️

username, QUEEN!

username, this so so sweet!

username, this family is actually so sweet

username, Sorry everyone I'm new and don't know who she is can someone tell me?

username, she's Harry's fiancé, her names (Y/N)

username, thank you !

username, sorry Anne she's not your sweetheart, she's our sweetheart!

username, she still exists?

username, she always has and always will

gemmastyles, 👑

username, my heart hearts please this is too much

username, YN CONTENT MY LIFE IS NOW A HAPPY ONE

username, that's literally my reaction every time I see a new picture of her

2020.

liked by username, username and 8,917 others

harryupdates, LEAKED PHOTOS OF (Y/N) AND HARRY. SOMEONE HACKED ANNE'S ICLOUD AGAIN!

tagged, harrystyles, yourinstagram

view all comments.

username, no wtf?

username, who hacked Anne tf?

username, these photos are cute and all but i think the family would really appreciate if you didn't repost them everywhere

username, as much as I hate the fact anne got hacked, these photos are actually adorable

username, the fifth photo

username, they're so in love it actually hurts my chest☹️

username, delete these right now!

username, unfollow!

username, the photo of them laying in the grass

username, knowing she was with him the day that photoshoot took place is actually so freakin cute!

username, this is the one time i'm not happy i got a picture of (Y/N)

username, who hacked anne like get a fucking life

username, (Y/N) content has never made me feel so sad

username, in the fourth photo, you can see Anne just wanted a photo with her son but she just had to photo bomb it.

username, the smile on Anne's face tells me she doesn't care.

username, this is actually sickening

username, as much as I hate what's happened and the fact there privacy's been exposed, this drama is eating me up

username, take these down right now

2023.

liked by username, username and 4,194 others

harryandynupdates, (Y/N) was spotted in the crowd at Harry's Cardiff Show today supporting him!

tagged, yourinstagram

view all comments.

username, I LOVE HOW SUPPORTIVE SHE IS

username, she's so happy to be there omds

username, having major fomo over here

username, I knew she was at all his other shows but no one ever got a photo, so thank you to whoever for blessing us with this <3

username, it was me, I was with my sister and she recognised her straight away, she was in the private pit with Jeff and Glenne.

username, I need to party with her so bad

username, like legit it's on my bucket list

username, god blessed us with her

username, she seems so care free like it's actually adorable

username, the man on the left of the photo looks like gino d'acampo

username, I CAN SEE IT!

username, YOUR ACTUALLY RIGHT!!

username, she's his biggest supporter

username, she's just like me!

username, she's his biggest hype women!

username, why is she pulling that face?

username, I've never been more in love with her like wtaf?

username, making me cry seeing how happy and carefree she is being

username, seeing her so happy makes me so happy

liked by username, username and 9,104 others

harryupdates, "I CAME HERE HOPING THAT I WOULD SEE (Y/N) BUT I GOT YOU INSTEAD!" Harry reading a sign at the concert tonight and answering with:

"You came here to see my wife? Hate to break it to you sista but she's not here tonight, she's got a stomach bug and was crushed when the medic told her not to leave the bed, so sorry but you'll have to put up with me instead!"

tagged, harrystyles

view all comments.

username, WIFE?!

username, nah he got married?

username, IM ACTUALLY SOBBING LIKE WTF?!

username, I KNEW THEY WERE ENGAGED AND ALL BUT WHEN THE FUCK DID THEY GET MARRIED?!

username, now they can finally adopt me?

username, this content of him and (Y/N) was not something I thought I'd be seeing in 2023.

username, I'm actually so happy for them right now

username, Harry deserves to be happy, and (Y/N) is the perfect person for him

username, literally no one likes her its probably a publicity stunt

username, a publicity stunt that's lasted ten years?!

username, CONGRATS

username, she's in it all for the money

username, CONTENT I REPEAT CONTENT

username, how long do you think they've been married for?

username, I'm thinking some time between Christmas and when tour started up again

username, is this just another way for him to make money?

username, he has a wife?

username, the next thing for him to achieve is becoming a dilf

username, the world would officially end when that happens

━━━━━━━━┛ 💫 ┗━━━━━━━━

━━━━━━━━┓ 💫 ┏━━━━━━━━

[katanablue]

I originally had a totally different idea for this but I think I may just do a part 2 hehehe. ALSO IF ANYONE GOT ANY GOOD 07 DONNIE FICS ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Warnings: NONE JUST DONNIE BEING A CUTE GRUMPY DORK.

Another day another long boring shift full of talking to idiotic people who don’t know the difference between hardware and software and explaining to one too many elderly people that ‘No, you cannot print out the Internet.’

He’s just finished a call, rubbing the space between his eyes as he feels his daily headache come on. He’s impressed that he’s managed to nearly finish his workday without it appearing until now. He groans low in his throat, debating on getting up to grab a glass of water so he can take a pill or just sucking it up these last 30 minutes.

He gets his answer when an incoming call rings through his headset, making Donnie roll his eyes hard and into the back of his skull. He inhales deeply through his nose to prepare himself, letting it out when he clicks on a key to answer the phone.

“Thank you for calling tech support, this is Donatello speaking, how can I help you today.” He doesn’t bother putting on his customer service voice, his headache dully throbbing now as he waits for the other person on the line to start rambling about their dumb issue.

“Hi, how are you today?” You say, giving the standard pleasantries before delving into your computer issue.

Typical, of course his last call would try to make small talk.

“I’m fine ma’am, thank you. How can I help you today?” He repeats it, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again and leans back in his chair, swaying gently side to side. He thinks about what he should eat after, his eyes trailing to the clock in the Lair that signifies in big red letters that it’s nearly 2 a.m. Not the latest he’s stayed up but today’s shift was particularly exhausting. Maybe it’s the full moon or something, ‘Mercury in Gatorade’ as Mikey would sometimes call it.

“Hello?”

Shit. He totally just fucking zoned out on you.

“Apologies ma’am, I didn’t quite catch that. Would you mind repeating it?” Great, he just extended this call by about 2 minutes.

“Oh, that’s alright! I’m dealing with an issue with my laptop’s ability to open programs fast. It’s taking forever just to open something and I’m not quite sure why.” You repeat your issue, quietly sighing as you aimlessly move your mouse around your screen, hoping that the guy on the other side will be able to help with you.

Donnie immediately knows what the problem could be; slow processing speeds a fairly common issue for him but thankfully an easy fix.

So he starts by asking the standard questions: do you have any programs that take a lot of space? Any tabs open that you aren’t using? Anything running in the background?

When you tell him ‘no, no and no’, that’s when he sits up from his chair and squints his eyes. If those aren’t the cause of your laptops slow speed then what could it be?

“Well,”

Ah, there it is.

“I do play a few games but those have never caused me problems before. Could that be it?”

Normally Donatello’s irritation would increase when the customer would ‘suddenly remember’ something that could be pausing their problem. You, however? Didn’t spark that within him for some reason. In fact, besides your calm demeanor, it’s the way you spoke so kindly to him combined with the fact that you also game apparently that has Donnie not wanting to snap at you.

“Like what?” He asks, being sure to keep it professional.

And when you list his all time favorite game among some others that he’s obsessed with, he has to practically force himself to not totally geek out. Sure he’s played some of the popular games nowadays like League or Valorant, but hearing you say that you modded some old PS1 games to play on your laptop practically skyrockets his excitement.

Which in turn makes his headache pound harder.

He’s unable to keep himself from hissing when a pang shoots right through his skull, knowing you heard it when you trail off your sentence.

“Are you alright?”

Maybe it’s because he’s had a long day or maybe it’s because this seems to be shifting into a migraine, but the concern and sincerity in your voice makes an odd feeling bubble in Donnie’s chest. Surely no one would ever be genuinely worried over an I.T guy, not when you have more pressing matters on your hands.

“My apologies miss, I’m just uh, dealing with a bit of a headache right now. Although I think it’s turning into a migraine.” He grunts through his clenched jaw, swinging carefully around in his chair as he searches for his bottle of Advil only to suck his teeth when he shakes the container and hears absolutely nothing rattling around.

“Oh no, I’m sorry! Do you want to go grab some medicine? I don’t mind waiting.”

The corner of Donnie’s lip twitches upward. He brings his hands to massage at his temples, the motions doing something to relieve the tension in his head but not nearly enough.

“I unfortunately just discovered that I’m out of medicine. But that’s alright, I’ll pick some up after this call.” He doesn’t bother hiding his sigh, settling back in his seat as he prepares to ask you more questions to help you out.

“What about any oils? Got any of those? Usually lavender or peppermint do the trick.” You put him on speaker and go to your Safari on your phone to begin looking up other remedies, wanting to assist this poor I.T man.

Donnie’s not quite sure why you’re trying to be helpful but at this point he doesn’t exactly care, the throbbing getting worse by the second.

“It could also be too much pressure, literally, around your head. Do you wear headbands or anything like that? Could also be your headphones.”

“No, no headbands. And my headphones have cushioning all around so not those either.” He responds, debating on texting Mikey to bring him the peppermint oil that April bought for Splinter last Christmas.

“Ah, a man of comfort.” You laugh, fingers quickly typing in your question into the search engine.

Donnie finds himself smiling faintly at the sound, a fleeting thought of ‘Wow, I want to hear that again’ passing through his brain.

“Well, I can’t use regular headphones for gaming. I’m also a fan of those games that you play.”

You blink in surprise, your scrolling faltering for half a second before continuing on.

“No way, really?”

And so you talk for the next 20 minutes about said games; reliving memories, talking about specific moments you wish you could experience again, the soundtracks, the characters. Everything.

For the first 10 minutes, Donnie kept reminding himself that he was just prolonging his work call, that he should drive the focus back onto your issue so he can hang up and clock out. But the more he talked to you, the more he said ‘fuck it’ and allowed himself this one rare moment of normalcy.

He also nearly forgot about his raging migraine, until it pleasantly reminded him that it was still present with a sharp stabbing pain behind his eyes.

It’s what snaps him back to reality, his face grimacing from the white hot torment happening in his skull.

“I’m so sorry, we should really get back to your computers issues.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

God, why did he feel so awful saying that? And why did it make his stomach twist when hearing just how disappointed you sounded? It’s something he’ll have to dissect later, not when he’s already 30 minutes past the standard call time for support.

“Let’s see what we’re working with here.”

This is one of the rare times Donnie wishes he wasn’t so smart with technology because in less than 5 minutes he solves your problem. He wishes he could just be a little average to talk to you more even if it’s computer stuff.

“Alright, you shouldn’t have a problem anymore. Anything else I can help you with?”

Please say yes please say yes please say yes.

“No, I’m all good. Thank so much Donatello!”

“Donnie! You can call me Donnie.”

Fuck.

“Just your friendly I.T tech support here to help you 24 hours a day.”

Double fuck.

Why did he say that? It’s standard spiel protocol but still, how utterly lame…

You can’t help but giggle at him, your cheeks hurting from smiling so much from this total stranger.

“Alright then, Donnie. I’ll know who to ask for if I ever need help again.”

He smiles and asks for your name, just so he’ll know who he’s talking to if you ever do call again. He repeats it back to you once you tell him, the word rolling off his tongue in such a way that makes you feel giddy and grinning like a kid in a candy store.

“Have a good night, please don’t hesitate to call back if you’re still experiencing technical difficulties.”

And by Darwin he hopes you do.

[saras-almanac]

So I wrote this post the other day about my feelings on the handling of the BuckTommy breakup (which you can read here if you want). And @parrishjeanna reblogged with a link to an article from Tim. I wrote out a reply to it but it became so long I needed to put it in a separate post because it’s over 3k and I need to put it until a readmore.

Okay so I did read that article thank you @kawaiifacesong for linking the not generating revenue clicks because I don’t like reading any articles for 9-1-1 because it’s literally all buddies who can’t ask anything about the show. (Case in point, in this particular interview, the interviewer brings up “The Couch Theory” because Buck and Eddie sit on a couch.)

So this interview was trash for many reasons but I’ll narrow it down to three for the sake of this response: Biphobic nature of the breakup and aftermath, what’s being said in interviews isn’t what we’re seeing, and Tim writes as he goes so there’s no actual plan going forward.

First: The Biphobic Nature of this breakup is still moving full swing.

The idea that Buck is “still figuring himself out” and needs to explore is insulting in so many ways—especially to myself as a bisexual lady in my 30s. Firstly, being in my 30s, the idea that you need to figure yourself out still is absolute bullshit. Yes, you can still find new things out about yourself and make some changes, but usually by this point in your life, you have a pretty decent handle on who you are as a person. Which Buck does have… and we’ve seen that? So it has to be a reference to his newly discovered and realized sexuality.

Which, AGAIN is so biphobic and plays into incredibly harmful bisexual stereotypes that bisexuals need to “explore” to figure out what or who they want. This means either they need to fuck around and make sure they’re really bisexual. OR they need to get enough experience with their same gender to then be able to have a same-gendered relationship. Both of which are insulting and harmful. This idea that Tommy couldn’t possibly be a lasting relationship because Buck just came out as bisexual is wrong. It’s fine if they didn’t want Tommy to be a long-term love interest or even an end-game love interest, but why couldn’t they have done it differently, to hopefully not play into these harmful stereotypes that are still incredibly prevalent today.

Now do I think they fully intended it to play out as biphobic as it is? Not really, but I do think that the heart of what they wanted—Buck exploring his sexuality—is inherently biphobic because of the way they have chosen to go about it. There’s a world of difference between having Tommy break up with Buck so Buck can go exploring and having OS and TM saying similar things in interviews and Tommy and Buck breaking up and Buck getting back out there and dating around. Which if they had given it just a smidge of thought, I have to hope they would have come to that same conclusion and maybe gone about it in a different way.

Second: What Tim’s saying in interviews about what’s happening on the show and in these storylines doesn’t match up to what we’re seeing

I’m going to paste the few paragraphs related to BuckTommy break up here, just to read. I have bolded what I thought was important and what I’m going to talk about after it.

“Look, I think the breakup was premature, but that was by design. For me, the story that I was trying to tell was here’s a guy, Tommy. He’s not a main character on the show. We haven’t done ‘Tommy Begins’ or something. But you do see him in the ‘Begins’ episodes, in flashbacks, and by the time he leaves in ‘Bobby Begins Again,’ he’s turned over a new leaf. He’s feeling more comfortable. He’s hanging out with the new people at the 118 once Bobby takes over, and they throw him a party and bake him a cake when he goes off to his new post. There was even a reference in Broken when Chimney calls him to do the water drop,” Minear explained. “But Tommy’s a guy who’s in a different place in his life than Buck is. And I think what Tommy realizes is exactly what he said, which is, ‘I’m not your last. I’m your first.'” Minear referenced the coffee shop scene in Season 7, where Buck asked Tommy to give them another shot and come to his sister’s wedding, as a point when Tommy thought, “Alright, this guy’s kind of great. He’s super hot and he’s sweet. And this will be nice. And I’m going to be vulnerable for this.” As the relationship grew stronger and the stakes grew higher, however, Tommy reevaluated things. “I think Tommy, in the end, understood that this was not forever — that Buck is exploring himself. He’s still figuring himself out. And even if Tommy doesn’t know it, he might sense the fact that Buck likes to jump in with both feet a little bit precipitously,” Minear mused. “So was the breakup premature? Yes. Because Tommy was put in a position where he had to be honest. And once he speaks the truth, which is, ‘I think I know where this ends, and I can’t move in with you,’ he’s kind of breaking the spell — the spell of that honeymoon. Tommy even says, ‘I didn’t see this coming either.’ I don’t think either one of them did.”

Okay, lots of things happening in this quote but ultimately there’s a massive disconnect in what TM thinks is happening or what he’s saying is happening and what is actually on screen—and that’s a huge problem. You can’t rely on interviews to explain things, it needs to be in the actual text of the episode.

I think the real crux of the issue is this: “Tommy’s a guy who’s in a different place in his life than Buck is… Tommy, in the end, understood that this was not forever… he’s kind of breaking the spell—the spell of that honeymoon.”

Let’s break this down a bit. Tommy being in a different place in his life than Buck… How? Buck has, since the pilot episode, been looking and searching for a stable romantic relationship—he’s always craved that and wanted that. Even in the breakup, he was thinking about their future and marriage and moving in with Tommy. Is that not what the next logical step of a relationship might be? So doesn’t that—regardless of whether it was premature or not—prove that Buck and Tommy are in the same place of clearly wanting a long-term, committed relationship? So if this wasn’t the case, why didn’t you show that? Show them having that disconnect or make it clear that Tommy’s dropping hints about their future and Buck is not in the same place so he’s not picking up on them at all. Because what we saw was Buck wanting and seeing a future with Tommy and Tommy basically telling him that the doesn’t actually.  

“Tommy, in the end, understood that this was not forever — that Buck is exploring himself. He’s still figuring himself out.” This is my villain origin point—for real. Because this is also not what we saw! What we saw, was a Buck who was so secure in himself and his relationship, arguably for the first time on this show, that he didn’t panic or second-guess anything really. He was all-in with Tommy and enjoying himself and being with Tommy. He even said that being with Tommy makes him more comfortable with himself—aka what a lot of couples say when they’re in committed and reciprocal, healthy romantic relationships—that being with you makes me happy being me. (Paraphrasing here, but hopefully my point gets across.)

Because what is there for Buck to figure out yet? He knows he’s bisexual and incredibly into Tommy. He’s happy and content with his work life and seems pretty happy with where he’s living. His relationships with his friends and family are all as good as they usually are. So what is there for Buck to still figure out? I’m left to assume that this is again only about his sexuality, which just keeps adding more to the pile of shit that makes me feel crappy and uncomfortable with this storyline.

Also, why couldn’t Buck and Tommy last? Why is that assumed to be the correct conclusion to come to? How many high school sweethearts get together and last? How many people who don’t date until they’re in their 20s-30s find someone right away and stay together? How many people come out as queer later in life because they have found someone they click with and it just makes them see more of themselves and they stay together? Sure, this is not the case with every single person in these situations, but it’s not unheard of. To me, this just feels like the show and Tim are acting like Buck is a young, 20-year-old child and now a grown man in his 30s…

What we actually saw on our screens, was two people who genuinely seemed to enjoy each other and spending time together. That had an easy and sweet relationship, where they both felt settled and comfortable together. It’s why the weird change in 806 felt so abrupt—what do you mean these two people who had amazing communication up until that point, have not talked about their past relationships at all? I think that was done as a shortcut for the writers and TM to say, “Look, see, they’re not compatible, they can’t last because they’re not talking about anything serious.” But again, my point is: then you should have showed us that beforehand, given some foreshadow or lead up to it. Instead, they chose to blindside the audience for the “shock value” and it didn’t work. Shock value for shock value’s sake never works for the audience. They don’t want the rug to be pulled out from under them, they want to see you building something and only after it’s built can they see what you were doing the whole time.

Now, I understand that they just wanted to break them up for “story” reasons (which I have no faith is going to be anything good). While I personally hate that because I feel like there would have been much more storylines and things for Buck to be involved in and it would have opened up a lot more potential stories for the future, I get that it’s not my decision to make. But why couldn’t they actually make this make sense in the actual context of what we’d seen already? If you wanted to break them up because they’re in different places, then having Buck ask Tommy to move in could have caused more of an argument of Tommy saying that Buck doesn’t really see him and doesn’t seem to understand that Tommy has a whole life outside of Buck. O Tommy could have been the one to propose moving in together and Buck freaks out because it’s too soon—which leaves Tommy to come to the conclusion that they want different things right now and he can’t just sit around and hoping Buck will catch up because it would be too hard for him to let go of Buck later. Or have Tommy literally going to a different place—whether temporarily or permanently—and so they have to break up because Buck has a whole life here and Tommy wasn’t about to ask Buck to uproot himself for Tommy…

There’s so many other ways this breakup could have gone instead of the route they went—and they would have made much more sense contextually. Instead, they went this cheapest way possible and have Buck now acting like a child about calling Tommy, when in reality and with the growth we’d seen of Buck in the past 8 years, he would have reached out to Tommy already. At least to talk things through. The baking thing was cute for an episode and it would have been okay for longer, but I’m just sitting here wondering exactly why Buck can’t call Tommy… If it’s because he’s hurt, then they needed to say that because right now, it just seems like Buck is literally being forced to not call him but the audience isn’t really sure why.

All this brings me to my biggest point. Third: I don’t trust anything that’s being said in interviews or by TM because he doesn’t write in advance and that’s a major problem

Before we get into it let me make a disclaimer: I’m gonna need every single network and studio to start requiring all the white men who write for them to actually be getting them scripts. We cannot rely on their “genius” to make sense because these scripts—especially season 8—should have had a few more passes before what we’ve seen. The only episode so far that actually felt like a complete episode was the Halloween episode.

And if this season has taught us anything, it’s that Tim not having any real plans or anything written is actually a massive problem for this show.

Now me not believing TM is not me saying that I 100% believe Tommy is coming back (though I feel like the chances are higher now with the reaction from the GA for ABC to suggest some things or at least give a closure beat to this character and relationship) This is more, nothing that TM has said in interviews up until this point for season 8 has really actually happened on screen except for Eddie shaving his moustache… Granted, I don’t read every single article with him so I might have missed something, but I just feel like he’s got no interest in setting anything up and actually paying it off in any real way.

So many people were so excited for season 8 because it was the first season in years where we actually knew so many storylines going into 8—that weren’t told to us in interviews; they were introduced in the actual show! We had Bobby/Athena’s house hunting, HenRen fighting Ortiz and trying to get Mara back, Madney fostering Mara in HenRen’s place, Eddie dealing with Christopher leaving, and Gerrard back at the 118. Any one of those storylines would have been so amazing to really see explored and fleshed out. Instead, everything was basically settled and done by episode 4—apart from Christopher and Eddie resolution and Bobby/Athena actually moving in / building. To me, as a writer myself, that decision to rush though those other stories was a massive massive misstep. There was so much there to explore and delve into that could have been so satisfying to watch and really reap the emotional payoff.

Instead, we had like 2-4 minutes max of processing HenRen not being able to see Mara again before they were all reunited. Not that I wanted to see HenRen struggling again in this way, but it would have been different and they could have put some humor into it with Karen suggesting they tail Ortiz and try to find things out about her—or Hen comes back from a shift to find Karen has stayed up for 38 hours tracking every single facebook post from Ortiz and her family to try and find something they could use and she’s the one who uncovered the link between Ortiz and Gerrard, which then promts Hen to ask Buck as Gerrard’s specialist boy to ask for a favor or try to convince Gerrard to help them deal with Ortiz.

And Maddie and Chimney having Mara would have been so interesting to see them actually having conversations about what they want for their family going forward—do they want more kids, do they not? Are they wanting to try naturally or adoption? And then Mara being with Chimeny could have also added another layer of tension between Hen and Chimney with Hen being jealous that Chimney is raising her daughter.

I mean Eddie… the fact that it took 8 episodes (basically) for him to actually acknowledge that he needs to do something to be a part of his son’s life is a major problem as well. It makes me not want to root for Eddie to reconcile with Chris because he has shown hardly any initiative in actually confronting what he did and the actual reason why Chris is so upset and feels betrayed. There was a little in 6, but that’s sort of it.

Bobby and Athena, they just don’t seem to know what to do with them anymore. And that’s a shame because there are so many things they could do—namely my favorite thing which is give them more comedy to do! They are so funny together (cruise ship is one of my favorite things). Or they could have had the first few episodes be them sort of couch surfing through the firefam and be a fun little runner of “we really need to figure out what we’re doing.” Even their storyline of their house burning just doesn’t seem to be a thing anymore.

Buck, it would have been so amazing to see him dealing with the work stuff more and having Tommy to lean on, to see Buck who’s been pretty secure in his work for the past few seasons now dealing with Bobby being gone and Gerrard there, just really gets him thinking about the future. Or even the comment about budget cuts, why was that never brought up again? That would have been so interesting to lead up to the midseason finale, which of the 118 is going to get laid off? And Buck being in such a secure spot maybe he volunteers because he wants to explore something outside of firefighting and/or because everyone else has kids and a family and he knows it’s easier for him to not have a job? And then he’s saying his goodbyes and the midseason act out is Bobby announcing that Eddie is going to be leaving them instead.

Instead of really exploring any of that, it’s all been rushed through to move on to the next thing, but the honest truth is: I don’t trust what TM’s great next thing is because he absolutely squandered all the potential he had going into season 8. So all these “amazing things” he has going forward I just don’t trust they’re going to happen or even be slightly interesting. Instead, I assume they’re going to be something that’s like an episode opening and then never mentioned again if they do happen.

I just don’t understand what is going on in his head other than ego right now and I’m just… I deal with too many egos in my life to deal with another one like this.

[lestappenforever]

So, I’m like a realist, right? Sure, yes, I ship people from time to time but I know it’s just for funsies. So, I saw a lestappen edit last week and was like “hey cute guys, what’s up with these two? I better check it out.” and have fallen into a bit of a rabbit hole it seems. So I’m back in the real world now, where Max is in a long term relationship and Charles has a girlfriend, and am wondering: how does one explain Max’s behaviour? Does he just have a friend-crush on Charles? Has he always wanted to be friends with him since they were young and it was just hard since they’ve been rivals for so long? Does he envy him maybe since his father wasn’t a pos and he still turned into a great driver? Is it a “it’s lonely at the top” kind of situation, where he’s never been able to make many friends his own age? (I’ve seen Charles with a bunch of friends outside of racing, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen Max with any, but that could be on me.) I mean, a blind person could see that Max takes every opportunity to talk to him or be close to him and he knows stuff about him I’d personally be too embarrassed to admit (like getting his “stupid” quote exactly right or knowing about the twitch thing with his girlfriend forgetting her keys, etc.). I guess I’m looking for the actual non-shippy explanation for this behaviour cause it fascinates me. What are your two cents on this?

Hi anon, and welcome to the world of Lestappen! We're happy to have you. ❤️

I will preface this by saying that shipping is solely for fun, and I don't actually believe Max and Charles are in a secret relationship or anything of the sort. The majority of Lestappen shippers on Tumblr are on the same page about this, with some exceptions, but there are exceptions to anything. And a big part of shipping is speculating, being delusional about them, and overanalyzing things.

Now, in terms of a non-shipping explanation as to why these two behave the way they do around each other, I think it's a combination of all the reasons you've already listed. And the thing about Max and Charles is that they have known each other for so many years. They have been in each other's orbit, in one way or another, for the majority of their lives, and there is no denying that they have seen each other as one of — if not the — biggest rival they've had since they were children. Despite the fact that a lot of the current drivers on the grid have raced each other at some point before F1, there doesn’t seem to be any of them that have the same sort of rivalry that Max and Charles have, which goes so far back. And that kind of bond is one that I believe sticks with you forever.

Now this is not a delusional take at all, as this quote by Armando Filini, manager of the Maranello Kart, the first team for which Leclerc raced, proves: “They were always fighting. It didn't matter if they were competing in a tie or in a final, if it was raining or if the track was dry. Once we were in Genk, Belgium, in the first free practice, and they went on track. Charles and Max met, began to push each other and almost hit each other, with the risk of being left out. Jos Verstappen and I were glued to the fence to look at them and he turned around and said to me: 'These two will fight forever. They will fight even in F1′. A prophecy”.

Even though Max and Charles obviously haven’t been best friends for the majority of the time they've known each other, and they've only started building what appears to be a genuine friendship in the last few years, they share a connection that has been evident to people around them since they were little.

Max's comment from last season where he said that he wasn't surprised both him and Charles were sitting in that press conference together because he always thought that if he made it into F1, Charles would too, is just another testament to how tied together they actually are. And Charles' fond recollections of their karting days in the past season shows that it's a mutual thing: that Charles feels that same bond with Max that Max feels with him. And I think this is the whole baseline for why they've never been able to be normal about or around each other: because they go so far back and their lives are so intertwined that I honestly don't think either of them is fully capable of treating the other as just any other colleague or friend, because they don't see each other that way. They're something more, and by that I don't mean they're secretly in love with each other — they just have this bond that goes beyond normal friendship, forged through years of rivalry, envy, conflict, mutual growth and respect, and eventual friendship.

I have a childhood friend sort of like that: obviously not with the rivalry and drama that comes with the surroundings in which Max and Charles met and grew up, but someone that I share a bond with that I don't share with any of my other friends, old or new, and it's honestly my most treasured friendship because it has helped shape me as a person in a profound sort of way. He's not my closest friend and not the friend I talk to the most since we live on different sides of the country and our paths haven’t crossed much in the past few years, as is often the case when you grow up and become an independent adult. But when I do talk to him and hang out with him, it kind of feels like coming home. And to me, it seems like Max and Charles share that same type of bond.

This is just my personal take as I obviously don't know Max or Charles, and this is all based off of watching their interactions and watching their relationship develop over the past few years, as well as deepdiving into their history in the past. But this is the explanation that makes sense to me.

[canary-curse-57]

At long last, I would like to present you all with a 2000+ word ramble about

WHY I THINK JIMMY SOLIDARITYGAMING COULD WIN THE LIFE SERIES

This WILL be long, this WILL be rambling, and I WON’T always get info correct, but I’m very passionate about the fact that Jimmy really is a good player, but happens to be an even better content creator (I’ll explain what I mean by this later!)

To start, I will analyze every death of his (although I will be excluding many from Limited Life for time reasons) because I believe that most of them can be categorized as some mix of Bad Luck, Accident, and/or Silly Decision. Then, in a different section, I’ll focus mainly on the Silly Decision deaths/explain why I don’t think he will win even if he could! I’ll also add in a TLDR section at the very end to try and summarize the big points I made. Anyways, let’s get into it!

3RD LIFE:

First death - Dare To Flare - Silly Decision

Ah, Jimmy’s first death. This is one of the Silliest Decisions of all, but it also demonstrates a characteristic of Jimmy’s playstyle that we see very frequently throughout the rest of the series: when presented with a high-risk high-reward situation, he almost always attempts the situation, even if the chance of success is negligible. There was never really that much of a chance to win Dare To Flare without cheating, and others had already died trying, but he still gave it a shot!

Second death - TNT Minecart - Accident/Silly Decision (I can't find yellow so I guess orange will do,,)

Our first multi-category death! To me, this one ultimately feels more like an accident than anything else, due to Jimmy not knowing how exactly TNT minecarts worked at the time, but I also have to qualify it as partly a silly decision because Scott did tell him not to touch it. 

Final death - Arrow - Bad Luck

This is honestly one of the more unlucky deaths for Jimmy across the whole entire life series! Ultimately, being unable to get down the ladder properly is what did him in, and I honestly believe that Jimmy might’ve been able to avoid dying first had he just not gotten unlucky with the timing of the shot/getting down the ladder. Oh, how different things could’ve possibly been,,,,

LAST LIFE:

Before I analyze the deaths for this series, I want to talk about why, to me, this is Jimmy’s best season ever in terms of results!! He was one of 5 people to start the season off with 2 lives, but unlike three of the others, he never gained another life (shoutout Ren, the other one who never gained another life!! I think this was his best season so far too!!!). Sure, he tried stealing one from Martyn, but he didn’t get to keep that one! Every other person (again, except for Ren!) that started yellow died more than 2 times over the course of the series, but not Jimmy!!! He also didn’t have his 1st death until the 6th session!! 13 other players had already died at least once before he did!! He also went to risky places where other people died (the Nether/a bastion where Mumbo died!!) and survived!! So while he had two rough deaths in back to back sessions and still went out first, this still remains his best season in my eyes, and it also is a great representation of the fact that he’s still a good Minecraft player!! He can survive really well when he minimizes Silly Decisions/doesn’t have to deal with bad luck, but minimizing Silly Decisions won’t be a frequent thing for him (more on that later) which is why I think that he could win but probably won’t. 

First death - Explosion - Accident/Bad Luck

While digging the dirt that set off the trap could add a Silly Decision category to this, I won’t be adding it because really, who would expect a random piece of dirt blocking an entrance to be trapped? (Not me, that’s for sure - I probably would’ve done the same thing) Honestly though, I feel like if this was a different type of death, Jimmy might not have gone out first. The explosion absolutely obliterating all of his stuff makes life much more difficult, and definitely impacted his season ending when it did. 

Final death - Fall/Grian - Silly Decision/Accident

The main reason that I categorize this one as a Silly Decision is because technically, Jimmy started it. Out of everyone on the server, Grian feels like the most likely to retaliate against a red, even if all they did was punch him, so it definitely wasn’t a good idea to instigate here. I also qualify it as an Accident because he says it (specifically falling off the edge of the building) was (*insert clip from Evil Anvil song here*). 

DOUBLE LIFE:

Before I start this section, I have something devastating to admit; I’ve never actually watched Double Life (I know, I know!! I’ve been meaning to for so long but just haven’t gotten around to it,,,,) I did go in and watch his deaths, so I at least know how they went down, but everything I know about the rest of this season is from the fandom.

First death - Soulmate - UNCATEGORIZABLE

Now, I know you could technically qualify this as a Bad Luck death, but I really really don’t think it fits at all!! Essentially every person in Double Life died because their soulmate died at some point, so saying that Jimmy just happened to have the Bad Luck to be paired with Tango doesn’t feel right. This death was totally and completely out of his hands, so it becomes the only one to truly not fit into any category. 

Second death - Falling/Hit By Arrow - Silly Decision/Bad Luck

Genuinely how did that arrow manage to hit Jimmy?? Bad Luck for him for sure, but ultimately standing as far over the edge as he was when people are firing up at you is a biiit of a Silly Decision. There’s also even more Bad Luck factored in when it comes to the timing of the whole thing - him and Tango just happened to be enchanting with Scar and Grian when the whole server decided to go after them! Jimmy wasn’t really even the main target here!

Final death - Enderman - Accident/Bad Luck

Ah yes, the Enderman death. I know I’ve said this multiple times already (and I’m sure I’ll say it many more), but this has gotta be one of Jimmy’s most unlucky deaths ever. With the combination of being low on food (so he can’t heal), the shield being about to break, and the tree he hides under not properly blocking the enderman, this was a recipe for disaster from the moment he accidentally looked into its eyes. Definitely a death that’s almost impossible to avoid.

LIMITED LIFE:

While I won’t be going through each and every death Jimmy had during this season (since Oh Boy there were a lot more than 3), I’ll focus on 3 that I want to point to that feel very very important to me!

Digging straight down with Joel - Silly Decision (Doing It For The Bit)

What’s this? A subcategory? Well yes, yes it is! This is a subcategory that we really only see in Limited Life, since people could die much more in that series due to the mechanic. So while this was still a Silly Decision, it was one made for fun and for The Bit! I’ll go into more depth as to why later, but this death is the ultimate example of why Jimmy probably won’t ever actually win a Life Series; he is in it 1000% for the fun!

Falling into trap because Grian pushed a button - Accident/Bad Luck

This is one of those deaths that is just so unlucky for Jimmy! Of course Grian didn’t mean to kill him, making it an Accident, but it really just feels like such Bad Luck overall! He honestly had a lot of these deaths the closer he got to the end of Limited Life; another one that comes to mind is the pufferfish death that happened while he was leaving the Nosy Neighbors’ base. These types of deaths are unfortunately completely unavoidable because they are almost completely unpredictable.

Final death - Falling - Accident/Bad Luck

This death is clearly an Accident, but it’s also an example of Bad Luck because of the placement of the minecart/the fact that he was shifting but seemingly un-shifted at the last second. Really though, this death feels like the world just making sure he died, since he should’ve been out with Etho’s boogie kill. 

SECRET LIFE:

First death - Drowned/Trident - Bad Luck

I’ll be honest, I had to go back and watch this death- but it really was another case of Jimmy just having the worst luck with this game! His health was already SO low (and sure, I could technically qualify this one as a Silly Decision in terms of him deciding to go outside when it was dark out while being so low on hearts, but it doesn’t feel quite right for some reason), & to have a trident drowned just decide to spawn in that area is awful luck! 

Second death - Ender Dragon - Bad Luck/Silly Decision

Ah, the Ender Dragon death. Yet another example of a high-risk potentially-high-reward situation that Jimmy went into despite a low chance of success,,, personally I think that if he avoided the End, his second death would’ve come much later & his chances of making it even longer would’ve increased drastically. 

Final death - Warden - Silly Decision/Bad Luck

While this death definitely has Bad Luck as a secondary factor, Silly Decision is the main one here by a MILE. Deciding to help fight/stay in the area of a Warden and a Wither while being a red life with just over one row of hearts remaining?? One of the Silliest Decisions of all! Anyways, this death also has a Bad Luck component to it because of the Warden deciding to focus on him instead of Mumbo even though they were both really close to it & also with some of the long distance shots from the Warden actually hitting.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, I know that was a lot of rambling, but there’s a really big thing about these deaths that made me want to categorize them; very few of them have anything to do with pvp fighting! Most of them are environmental deaths (deaths to mobs/fall damage) or deaths indirectly caused by another player (traps that Jimmy himself had to trigger) instead of ones directly caused by a player!

Of course, every player in the life series has had environmental/indirectly caused deaths, but the winners/the people who place really high? They have more deaths directly caused by a player than anything else!

Take someone like Impulse, who consistently has a very high placement in the life series, but hasn’t won one (yet!!). A vast amount of his deaths are kills directly caused by other players! Same for most of the winners!! (Scar is the outlier here, although he only died due to direct kills by other players in the season he won, sooooo)

So, here’s what I’m getting at: if Jimmy can cut down on his environmental deaths, and avoid triggering traps/aggravating other players, I think he could survive much longer than he has so far! He would go from someone who dies without others needing to have much of an input, to someone that people would have to intentionally try to kill because he’s one of the final greens/yellows! We already know from Last Life that he can go a TON of episodes without dying, so if we combine that ability with more than two starting lives, then I think we have a recipe for a potential winner on our hands!!

However. Despite my belief that Jimmy is a much better player than anyone gives him credit for, I also don’t think that he will win a life series. And this is gonna get a little over-analyze-y, but I think that he won’t win because of who he is as a person and as a content creator.

He’s always willing to take risks for friends, do something for the bit (as seen by his lava death with Joel in Limited Life), and generally put himself in risky situations. He knows what makes a good video, but he also just genuinely is having fun with his friends! I think Jimmy could win a life series if he took it really really seriously, and put a ton of time and focus into staying alive and making it far, but I’m not sure that would be very fun for him. He seems like the kind of person who is just in it for a good time. And I’m not saying that he doesn’t want to win, or doesn’t take the series seriously at all - I think he definitely does, based on his reaction to his final death at the end of Double Life & Limited Life - but he’s not gonna go out of his way to win or do the ‘smart thing’ when he can just keep enjoying the series. 

(Eugh, that felt a little too personality-analyzing/parasocial and weird for me, but I do think it’s true.)

ANYWAYS, that’s about it! 

So TLDR: Lots of Jimmy’s deaths aren’t directly caused by players, and if he can avoid those types of deaths, he could survive long enough to have a real shot at winning! He also is much better at being able to survive a long time than we give him credit for, as we see in Last Life. However, while he still takes the life series seriously, he’s ultimately in it for the fun, making it less likely that he pulls off a win. 

Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to ask questions/share your own thoughts!!

[natashascumslut]

will there be a nat perspective for why ?

yes, i love this idea!

WHY 2 | natasha romanoff

SUMMARY: Natasha’s perspective of my fic ‘why.’

WARNINGS: Angst.

a/n - i’m sorry this is so short 😪 i promise ill write a long fic at some point.. anyway enjoy!

You paused as the words hit your ears. excuse me? Her eyes went wide when you didn’t answer. You forced words out, not wanting to stay completely quiet.

“What?” It came out flat, it wasn’t what you intended. You moved your hands from her waist, bringing them up to your face to push hair behind your ears nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I love you.” You tensed as you watched tears pool in her eyes. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Did you love her back? You should, you did. But god, you were scared, the idea of being in love with this girl was so precious but so scary.

You tried to speak as she stepped back, stumbling backwards as she went for the door. You wanted to move, to hurry over to her and tell her to calm down, that it was okay, that you care.

Instead, you stayed put as you watched her leave the small apartment. Your feet felt as if they’d been concreted to the floor, unable to move. You should’ve gone after her, you shouldn’t have let her go out alone in the rain.

You thought you were ready, that when the words would leave her lips, they’d leave yours too with ease. But you clearly weren’t, you felt stupid, you should go out there and tell her to come back in. You could sit her down to explain how you felt about all this, tell her that you were scared because you’d never been taught love growing up and now you had it and god was the feeling terrifying.

Often when people fall in love, they tell the other person ‘I’ve never loved someone more.’, and a lot of the time it’s not true. But for you it was and it was so intimidating, you saw her in everything. You couldn’t leave the house without being reminded of her, the bees, the stars, everything somehow spun back to her, and you didn’t like that.

You went from being perfectly independent to physically unable to live without her, you felt like a burden, always wanting to be around her, close to her.

You finally moved from your statued place in the hall to the couch, you let out a loud sigh as you slumped into it. You wish you knew more about this, that you could talk to her about how you feel, but we all know that’s not something you are good at. God you were so new to all this, you just wanted to call her, tell her to come back, to come home.

But you didn’t. Instead, you didn’t contact her for three weeks. You tried to, sitting in front of your phone with a text typed out on multiple occasions but never sending it. And the longer you went, the more it would look like you were taking the piss if you texted her.

So you didn’t, you let go. Well, you tried to let go, it wasn’t as easy as you thought. You’d been able to let go of so many things in your life, but for some reason, this wouldn’t leave.

“I know but I can’t do it now, it’s been three weeks.” You sighed into the phone as you wandered through the aisles of a store, your breath hitched as your eyes fell on the very girl you were talking about. Speak of the devil.

You immediately hung up the phone, shoving it in your back pocket. You weren’t sure what to say, if you should say anything at all. You could just run away, leave the store and make sure you’d never run into her again. But seeing her like this was heartbreaking, you went from waking up next to her to standing feet away from her in a grocery store after unintentionally breaking her heart.

She looked so tired, god you hated what you’d done, why did it have to be so hard to tell someone you loved them?

You could say it right now, nice and easy, four small words. I love you too. You opened your mouth to speak, thinking that maybe the words would come out, but her name did instead. She turned, and you wanted to die when her eyes met yours. What had you done?

“Why didn’t you go after me?” You winced at her words, I tried, I wanted to I swear. I was just scared, I love you, I love you so much. “I... I don’t know.” Why was it so hard for you to say the words? You watched her with guilt, how could you do this to someone? You had to say it, you had to tell her you loved her. You couldn’t.

“I do care about you.” You said, maybe this would be enough, maybe she would understand what you meant. She didn’t, you could tell in her body language that she didn’t believe you. “Then why haven’t I heard from you for three weeks?” oh.

You shuffled awkwardly, your fingers immediately going to your rings as a stress response as you tried your hardest to rack your brain for something, literally anything. You couldn’t think of why, you had no excuse, you were just scared but you couldn’t tell her that.

“Forget it.” No, no! Please. She turned, and your eyes widened. Please come back, I love you. Why wouldn’t the words come out? It was like they were stuck in your throat, you knew you meant them, but they wouldn’t come out.

You watched her walk away, standing hopelessly in the aisle. You tried to move, but it was no different than three weeks ago, your feet anchored to the floor. Maybe this was for the best, love was stupid anyways.

i love you too.

[https-harlow]

Fight The Feeling 18 Exposed

Summary- You and Jack find out that someone told TMZ about Jack cheating on you.

Warnings- hints at eating disorders and talk about weight

You and Jack had told your teams that you wanted a minimum of three months where you didn’t focus on work. So when Neelam and Claire showed up at your apartment six weeks in, you knew it was serious. Jack answered the door, letting them in, Maple at Jack’s feet, barking at them. 

Neelam walked in first, looking at the dog then looking at Jack confused.

“Since when did either of you have a dog?” Neelan asked.

“This is Maple, I got her about three weeks ago,” Jack said, picking up the dog to calm her so she wouldn’t wake up Madelyn from her nap that you just put her down for. Even though your managers said it was urgent, you both made them wait until Madelyn was down for a nap, which you were all still getting onto a schedule, but you were able to get her to fall asleep in time.

“I have so many questions, but that’s not what we’re here for. Where’s Y/N?”

“She’s checking on Madi, she’ll be out in a second.” Jack said as the three of them sat in the living room. You walked out of the hallway a few minutes later.

“Hey, what’s going on?” You asked as you sat down next to Jack.

“Someone is contacting TMZ about the cheating story. They are trying to make money off of the situation and all the attention you two are getting right now. We don’t know who it is, luckily I have a good relationship with them, so they brought it to me first, but they are running the story. Who knows about the cheating?” Claire asked.

“Us,” Jack said, referencing to the room, “Urban, Alexa, not many people know, I can’t see Alexa telling, Urban for sure wouldn’t, we’ve kept it very secretive so it doesn’t get out.” You saw Claire’s face go a couple shades paler than she usually was.

“Well, we wanted to warn you two, Claire said the article is coming out tonight, so we wanted to also see if you were willing to do an appearance in a few days. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but some fans are picking up on your relationship being fake, so now with this article coming out, I don’t even know what kind of backlash we’re going to face.” Neelam said.

“Can’t we just drop all this fake relationship shit now? Our relationship isn’t fake anymore, I don’t know why we need to keep this shit up. Why can’t we just live our lives?” Jack asked.

“Because if it was up to the two of you, you would never show your faces in public again?” Neelam teased and Jack opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

“She’s not wrong.” 

“Anyway’s, I have to leave, but we just wanted to give you guys a heads-up,” Claire said before saying her goodbyes. 

“I’m staying because I want Madelyn cuddles, but I also wanted to talk to you about Claire. I feel like something’s weird about this.”

“You felt that way too?” You asked and Neelam nodded.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked.

“I mean, for one, she says TMZ told her about the article, but I didn’t get told, no one on our side did. She kept mentioning to me that other people must have known. I really feel like Alexa wouldn’t have told anyone either, she’s not going to get anything but backlash from this. She’s the one who wants to keep this going, I’ve been trying to find ways to get you out of this, but she always shuts everything down. Is it that wild of a thought that the reason she has such a good relationship with TMZ is because she gives them information?” Neelam explained. Even though you hadn’t known Neelam for a full year, you felt more comfortable with her than you did Claire, even though Claire signed you at 16.

“But why would she do this now?” Jack asked. 

“I tried to get out of my contract early? Maybe it’s retaliation?”

“But why would she retaliate against her own client?” Jack asked you.

“Claire and I have never had a good relationship. She’s always acted like my friend, but I know that she doesn’t care. Like, when I found out I was pregnant for example, she didn’t care that I was pregnant, she just cared that I was delaying the meeting. Even after the meeting all she cared about was making sure I didn’t gain too much weight before my upcoming shoots.” Jack reached over and grabbed your hand. “I know she doesn’t have to care about me, and that it’s her job to be focused on my career, but it’s hard to not let that impact me sometimes. I mean, she even has a diet and work-out plan she wants me to start once I’m cleared by my doctor.”

“Don’t you have lawyers to help get you out of your contract?” Neelam asked, you shook your head.

“No, all my lawyers go through her, they are technically my lawyers, but they cover her too,” You explained. “My contract's almost up anyway, it’s okay. I don’t want to quit, I just wanted to take a break, but I’ll just work for a couple of months and then take a break.”

“Get her my lawyers,” Jack told Neelam. “If you want out of your contract, my lawyers can get you out of your contract.”

“Well, they can try,” Neelam cut in, not wanting to promise you anything.

“If they can’t, we’ll figure another way to get you out of it. Why have you not told me any of this?” Jack asked.

“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning if there wasn’t anything I could do about it,” You sighed. “And I’ve been dealing with her since I was 16, it’s not like it was like this at the beginning, and I thought it was normal for a while. It wasn’t until I was around the two of you that I really noticed it. You care about Jack as a person, not just as someone who makes you money.”

“The fact that someone can spend so much time with another person and not care about them, is so shocking to me.” You heard the sounds of Madelyn waking up coming through the baby monitor you had placed on the end table. “Can I go get her?” Neelam asked excitedly, she hadn’t seen Madelyn in a couple of days, and she missed her already.

“If you want to change her diaper, sure,” Jack said, before Neelam shook her head.

“I’m okay, I’ll see her in a few minutes,” She said and Jack laughed before standing up and walking to Madelyn’s room, leaving you and Neelam alone.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to help me just because Jack wants to-” You stared talking, but she cut you off.

“I’m helping you because I want to. I know how bad some managers can be at controlling the people they represent, and I’m sure you’re downplaying the situation to Jack because you don’t want him to flip out, but I’ve hated every interaction I’ve had with her, and I can see the way she treats you, and I hate that as well. I think Jack noticed it too, he’s made comments to me about it, but he didn’t want to seem like he was controlling you. I mean, he even only took three months off because that’s all you could get, and he didn’t want it to rub it in.”

“Yeah, but our jobs are different, he has songs that can be released any day, modeling isn’t like that.” You don’t know why you were defending Claire. You had forgiven her hundreds of times for the way she treated you over the years, and you wanted to stop forgiving her. 

As cliché as it sounded, having Madelyn changed you. You knew if someone had treated her like Claire treated you, you would never forgive them, so why did you let her treat you badly and forgive her. Forgiving Jack was a bit different. Your relationship was doing really well over the last few months, and you didn’t want to backtrack on any of the progress you made, but you knew if he ever messed up again, you weren’t forgiving him.

“Stop justifying it. You want a break, that’s a perk of the job. I think time off would do you and Jack good, focus on your relationship, your family. Some things are more important than work,” Neelam said as Jack walked in carrying Madelyn. Jack handed Madelyn to Neelam who instantly cuddled her.

Neelam hung out for about an hour, before she left, you walked her to the door.

“I know Jack likes to fix things, and you like to be independent, but let us try to fix this, okay?” Neelam asked and you nodded.

“Okay.”

“I’m going to do my absolute best to get you out of your contract and you out of your relationship contract. If I can’t, I know Jack will find someone who can. He would do anything for you.”

“I know,” You smiled softly.

"I'm going to figure out who sold the cheating story too."

Tag list @jackharloww @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @hoodharlow @itsyagirljaz @heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @awhore4moree @harlowslefttoe @twerkforambrose @jackmans-poison @ilovenudy @taniapri @killatravtramp @easternparkway @macey234 @toocriticalharlow @lightsoutstyles @rachxc13 @iknowdatsrightbih @idktbh101 @blossomluvv @middlechild404 @hufflewhore128 @christinabae @lafavoritaangel

[miss0atae]

The dark side of nostalgia and how it affects San and his relationships from Century of Love (ep 2):

Hum… so many things happened in this episode. I could also say it’s my random thoughts about the second episode 2. Let’s unpack what I felt about it.

I think we need to talk about San. It was kinda heartbreaking to see how much pain and suffering he is experiencing every day for the sake of finding his lost love. He is staying young and healthy, but the cost of this semi-immortality seems to be too pricey. His love for Vad / Wat is very strong, but I don’t think he is seeing how many changes the pain has caused on him. San isn’t the same as he was when he first met her. Even if Vad / Wat isn’t Vee, I don’t think she would be able to recognize her lover. You can’t live 100 years of atrocious pain and remains the same. It’s not possible. I’m not even sure San sees how much different he is from who he was when he first met her. He is so focus on his goal that he tends to push everything else into the background. In his quest of finding Vad / Wat, San lost himself. It doesn’t help that all the signs seem to push him into Vee, when he doesn’t want it. He tried very hard during this episode to find reasons not to be attracted to Vee, even if his unconscious was sending him wet dreams. I don’t think the fact that Vee is a man is so much of a problem to him. San is just troubled by how different Vee is from his memory of Vad / Wat. Even if he is graced with semi-immortality, it's not working on his nostalgia.It just helps him to remain young and healthy.

When people get nostalgic, they are living in the past. San is truly someone who is still stuck in the past where he was loved and he loved his “true love”. In those moments, the past seems rosy, and often as more positive than the present. It's the case for San, as he remembers fondly of the time he was with Vad / Wat. It is even worse because he never really had the chance to live with her. They were separated before. What emotion is San after when he is thinking about the past? Is it a way of finding the positive feelings you get when you're in love? Is he trying to recreate their time together? San has one foot in the past and one in the present, but he is not really rooted in the present. Despite looking for the reincarnation of his love, he can't really feel himself in the present. Is it even possible for him to be rooted in the present and also feel the positive emotions of reminiscing while living in pain every day . No mind is strong enough to be able to endure this. I wonder if it's also a way for him to avoid complex emotions. I may read a bit too much on his behaviors. Sometimes I was feeling really sad for him and some other time I was really annoyed by him. I felt he was too bitter and too angry to really understand that his actions may not be right all the time. Especially when it's about Vee.

Let's admit how shocking it can be for some people to discover your love is so different. However, the way San was really trying to find fault in every actions of Vee was unkind. He never really tried to understand him for who he is. He always misunderstood him or imagined things worse than what they really are. He made this pure image of Vad / Wat in his mind colored by his love while Vee represents the complete opposite of it. Vee didn't really understand the story he painted to him about waiting for his love. That's because Vee isn't trapped in a past (he doesn't know or doesn't remember). He is living in the present! His own story can explain why he is trying to live the fullest. His grandmother is sick and being in the presence of losing someone, can push you to appreciate life even more. You must enjoy every moment because you never know when you won't have the chance to do it anymore with the person you love. San considers Vee as a thief because of his past and that's make him see him as a deceitful person. He knows some facts about Vee, but he never really tried to discover why Vee had this record. He automatically assumes it's because he needs money and that's it. It fits the image he has about Vee. It works with the narrative he wants to adopt about him because it would prove further more than he can't be the reincarnation of Vad / Wat.

He doesn't hesitate to call out Vee because he believes he is after the five shades stone. He is a thief, so of course, he would try to steal the most precious item he owns. I don't think San really took the time to think before stating this. He forgot than Vee isn't living in his past and doesn't really care about this. Vee is just interested in San and finds him interesting, maybe attractive. He may have been a thief in the past, but he is not a creature of the past. Vee is rooted in the present. There is also the fact that Vee has no idea about what is the five shades stone or its power. He just wanted to care for San because he saw him being hurt before while trying to escape attacks from unknown people. Vee isn't a bad person. He may have a “dark” past, but he is trying to live rightfully. San is so caught up in what he imagines is right and it prevents him from looking at the bigger picture. Even if Vee ends up not being the reincarnation of Vad / Wat, I don't think San would be able to find her. He isn't really thinking rationally and he is mostly living in the rosy-colored vision of his past induces by the nostalgia. Of course, the present is not nice to San: he is lonely (even if surrounded by the family) and he is suffering each day. Why would he choose the present when the past seems so much better?

I believe Vee could be the answer if he can help San to see that the present can offer so much more. It won't be an easy task especially now that we know the mysterious attacks are ordered by an old and sick Third who never forgot about San (Is it Trai's descendant and how Trai knew about the stone? So much questions that need answers).

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Reunion 

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~4.3k

Summary: You and Wanda attend your high school reunion.

A/N: This was fun to write. Wanda gets kinda mad. It’s so cute. Part one of the  jealous Wanda series. 

Warnings: jealousy😈, thoughts of violence, fluff

Going to your 15-year high school reunion sounded unappealing anyway you thought about it. You hadn’t really liked high school because of how stressful it was, and how mean people could be. You didn’t remember it fondly and when the phone call came one day, and the emailed invitation the next, Wanda found you in the kitchen scowling at your computer.

After a long discussion, Wanda had convinced you to at least give it a shot. She’d promised to take time off to go with you, and given that it was almost all the way across the country, it would be a three-day trip. The appeal of spending time away with your wife was much higher than that of going to your high school reunion, but you decided to worry about this later. You’d left Boone with Yelena, and Fletcher would get a couple of visits a day from Steve while you were gone, so they would barely miss your absence.

Right now, as you sit beside Wanda as she drives you through an unfamiliar part of the airport, you’re very confused. You look to your wife who takes off her sunglasses with a sigh before turning down a road that leads dangerously close to the runways.

“Uh, Wands.”

You’re supposed to catch your flight soon, but Wanda had driven you both somewhere that doesn’t seem anywhere close to the terminal. She smiles at you before realizing that you look a little worried, but she doesn’t have to wonder about it long as you voice your concerns hesitantly.

“Why are we here? Don’t we have to catch our flight soon?”

Wanda simply smiles at you as she turns down one last road and pulls into a small garage. You’re too focused on the plane that you drive by and you’re staring at it with an impressed look as Wanda explains what’s happening. You’d told her about your reservations about this trip, and she’d wanted to make everything as stress free as possible for you both. For this reason, she’d dealt with organizing your travel and your hotel room. You were just along for the ride until the reunion.

“We’re here, detka. This is our ride.”

Your head whips back around toward your wife as your jaw drops in bewilderment. You must have heard her wrong because Wanda definitely wasn’t saying what you thought she was. You followed her lead and got out of the car before peeking out of the garage at the damn jet that was not twenty feet from you.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Wanda smirks as she opens the trunk and grabs your bags before handing you your backpack with a smile. She reaches out to push your chin up to close your still gaping mouth, and she can’t help but chuckle under her breath.

“This is one of my planes.”

Wanda walks toward the jet where you now see someone is coming out to meet her. He looks like a pilot, but you can’t even comprehend this right now as you chase after your wife. You had so many questions, but the first one that you asked was arguably the most relevant.

“What do you mean you have a jet?”

Wanda smiles before she grabs your hand so you can meet the pilot and then the small three-person crew that will be with you on this flight. They offer to take your luggage, and you’re too stunned to protest as you follow Wanda up the stairs into the plane you’ll apparently be taking to Miami.

“It’s not just mine, or ours rather, but I made sure we could use it so we can enjoy the trip.”

Wanda leaves out the little detail of her not being able to fly commercially like you. She’s a known criminal and she’s pretty sure that if she stepped into the airport with the intent to ride on a passenger plane, they’d refuse if not arrest her for simply trying. Seeing your wide eyes and the awe in your expression, she realizes that this was a good choice. She doesn’t think you’ll mind this surprise as you take in the small yet somehow spacious interior that looks more comfortable than anything you’ve ever sat on.

“Oh my God.”

There are sets of four seats that are divided into two groups on each side of the plane. The leather recliners are paired with tables that have drinks already set up. There are also two televisions on each side with charging stations beneath, and you can’t stop yourself from sitting down in the nearest chair. You turn to your wife with a stunned expression that you’ll probably wear for the entire trip.

“This is amazing, Wanda. Were you ever going to tell me about this?”

Wanda just shrugs as she takes off her coat and sits down beside you with a smile. She just wanted you to enjoy your weekend, and as she says this you can’t help but kiss her. She’s so sweet and you can’t wait to go on this trip with her. It’s been too long since you’ve had quality time alone and although reuniting with the high school mean girls wasn’t something you were excited about; you at least were going to enjoy the ride.

The 4-hour flight seems to fly by and when you and Wanda leave the plane you almost wish it had been longer. You and Wanda arrive to the hotel that she’d booked and you are once again surprised by Wanda’s choice. It’s very reminiscent of the one you two stayed in during your honeymoon, and you’re already recalling how much fun that was as you and your wife step into the elevator.

“So? How’s the trip so far?”

Your wide smile is enough of an answer for Wanda, but she doesn’t complain about you offering a verbal response as well. You are the only ones in the elevator so you don’t resist the urge to kiss your wife appreciatively. You sneak a hand in her hair, careful not to knock off her sunglasses on her head as you deepen the kiss with a sigh.

“It’s perfect, Wands. Thank you for this.”

Wanda’s hands squeeze your hips before she buries her face in your hair. She turns so she can kiss your neck before leading you off the elevator as soon as you reach your floor. The top floor.

“Of course, detka. I want you to enjoy this weekend, and not stress about the mean girls. I promise I’ll beat them up if they look at you wrong.”

You laugh as you follow Wanda into your room that resembles the rest of the hotel in its extravagance. You see your bags in the room already so you just hurry over to the king size bed and fall face first on it with a sigh. This weekend is proving to be unpredictable, but luckily, it’s in a good way so far. Hopefully this will continue to be the case as the reunion rolls around, but you have no real way of knowing.

Wanda comes to lie down beside you, and you adjust so you’re more comfortable and able to put an arm around her. You know that regardless of what happens tomorrow, you’ll have Wanda by your side and you couldn’t be more grateful for this. You appreciated your wife’s support and despite the fact that you would not let her beat up anyone for you, it was nice to hear that she would be in your corner. You hadn’t seen any of these people in nearly 15 years and you were nervous to say the least.

You hadn’t been popular in high school, but despite keeping to yourself you knew that you’d be recognized. You had no idea how people would remember you but you hadn’t been out of the closet then yet, so maybe some of them would be surprised to learn Wanda was your wife. You weren’t ashamed of anything, but you’d rather talk about how much you loved being a vet and maybe see some people’s puppy pictures. However, you were going to take what you could get, and not worry too much about it. You’d prefer anything to having to talk about Wanda’s less than legal career because that could definitely get dicey.

“Thank you, Wands.”

The rest of the day is mostly spent in bed ordering ridiculously expensive room service. You didn’t want to go out much before the reunion and Wanda understood. You were anxious and you’d rather just hang out, and luckily for her you were in the mood for sitcoms and cuddling. Her two favorite things. It wasn’t until you fell asleep that night that Wanda considered how tomorrow would go for you two.

She wasn’t too worried about being recognized because anyone that knew her there would have a secret of their own to keep. She supposed she was mostly wondering how meeting your former classmates would go. You’d never told her much about your time in high school, but from what she’d gathered you were more studious than social. You mentioned friends occasionally, but you didn’t really keep in touch with them anymore. You only talked to vet school friends every now and then, but never high school.

She wonders if you really wanted to go to this or if you felt guilted into it. Wanda sighs as she lies down next to you to finally go to sleep. It’s nearly midnight and she’s just been watching you sleep for the past hour. She supposes she should try to get some rest. Tomorrow will surely be exhausting with how much you’re going to have to socialize.

This is what you’re thinking about as you and Wanda arrive at the venue where the reunion is being held. You try not to cringe as you see the large banner that says ‘Welcome back class’. You’re regretting your decision to come here, but you choose to focus on the food you’ll hopefully get to eat and your beautiful wife that’s accompanying you. She’s wearing a dress that should make you jealous, but instead you’re proud to show her off to your former classmates. The dress isn’t overly revealing, but the black accentuates her assets and is complemented well with her bright red hair.

“Are you ready for this, my love?”

Wanda smiles as she takes your hand and leads you into the building. You come up on a table quickly and see it’s full of sticker name tags that you’re going to have to stick to your shirt. You smile at the unfamiliar woman sitting behind it. She’s blonde and you definitely could buy that she used to be a cheerleader, but you can’t be sure. You’re certainly not going to ask.

“Hi there, welcome! Let me try and guess?”

You don’t get to respond and you just watch as the blonde looks at the names in front of her curiously. You are actually surprised when she guesses right and you accept it with a small smile before Wanda’s handed a blank tag to fill out with her name.

“I remember you, Y/n. You dated my friend!”

You’re a little confused by this and when Wanda stops in the middle of writing her name you realize she is too. You don’t get to ask ‘Hannah’ for clarification before two other couples come in behind you and force you to move on. You just shake your head as you hold Wanda’s hand and whisper under your breath.

“I have no idea who she was talking about.”

Wanda just laughs at this as she follows you through the hall to the ballroom. The sound of a room full of people chatting makes you tense a little, but Wanda squeezes your hand and offers you a reassuring smile. You take a deep breath before kissing her cheek and leading her the rest of the way to the open doors.

“Let’s do this.”

You were optimistic to say the least about how this day was going to go. You’d believed that it would be fine and you could just mingle with your old friends and try to kill time. This had worked out for the first half hour, but then the group you’d been talking to decide to venture off to talk to others. You’re fine with this and after bidding them goodbye you look to Wanda with a smile.

This was all a little anticlimactic if you were being honest. Given who you were, you’d feared that something dramatic and uncomfortable would happen to you. However, you and Wanda had chatted and actually had a decent time catching up with your old acquaintances. You’d introduced your wife and told everyone that she was in sales. Something boring-sounding but potentially lucrative, yet not specific enough for anyone to try and look her up.

“Thank you for coming with me to this.”

You say this a little while later when the two of you are alone with your snacks. You’re sipping on your drink when Wanda takes one of your hands with a smile. She’s glad that she came here with you. She can tell that you’re less on edge and you’re almost enjoying yourself when someone new comes up to you.

Wanda hadn’t seen the other redhead here as she’d glanced around casually while you talked to your friends. She was pretty and Wanda hates this fact as soon as she realizes who she is or rather was to you.

“Dr. Y/L/N. Look at you all grown up! You somehow look even better than the last time I saw you.”

The urge to crawl into a hole and die overwhelms you as you force yourself to swallow what you’re chewing before you turn toward the familiar voice. You were torn between horror that you’re running into her, and shame at the fact that you’d forgotten about her existence up until this moment. As you turn around to face her you have to stop yourself from doing anything other than smiling.

She looks as good as you remember, albeit briefly forgot, and you meet her blue eyes before looking away to her shirt to remind yourself of her name.

“Jessica. Hi. I didn’t expect to see you here!”

It wasn’t exactly a lie given that you’d forgotten a majority of high school due to the sheer amount of stress it had caused you. Your tactic had been to repress whatever you didn’t want to remember which ended up being most of it. This happened to include your brief, trivial fling with the redhead in front of you.

She’s smiling at you still as she leans in for a hug that you feel obligated to give. You try to keep it short and you bounce uncomfortably on the balls of your feet as you watch Jessica shrug as she looks around the room.

“Of course! How else am I supposed to catch up with everyone. I knew for sure it would be the only way I’d ever see you again.”

Wanda notices that your smile is a little pained, and she doubts this could indicate anything good. She doesn’t have much time to consider this further before you’re reaching out for her and looking between her and the redhead who’s still staring at you.

“Jessica, this is Wanda, my wife. Wanda, Jessica was one of my friends.”

It would have been too lucky for this introduction to go unchallenged. You could feel the color drain from your face when Jessica laughs as she reaches out to shake Wanda’s hand. You can tell she’s confused and you want to explain, but not here and now.

“Mostly friends, sometimes with benefits.”

Wanda’s eyes widen when the other redhead says this, and she can’t help but frown as she turns back to you. You hadn’t told her about any relationships you’d had, other than that short stent with the guy you went to prom with. You take a deep breath before releasing an uncomfortable laugh that seems to spur Jessica on. You take a moment to look at her, and you see that she doesn’t have a ring on her finger. This could mean many things, but unfortunately for you it means that she feels free to flirt with you. Despite the fact that you’re wearing a wedding band and your wife is holding your hand, she’s bolder than you’d feared.

“It’s so good to see you! I hate that we lost touch.”

You run a hand through your hair yanking a good bit of it out as you use work as an excuse. It’s a valid one considering how busy you’d been, but you also hadn’t said a word to Jessica in person or otherwise since graduating high school. She couldn’t have forgotten this.

“Yeah, school was just crazy and now work is crazy.”

You talk a little bit about work when she mentions that she’d read that you were a vet. You ask what she does in return and you listen to her marketing spiel before realizing that Wanda’s near frozen beside you. She’s watching Jessica carefully as she speaks to and continues to ogle you. She’s amazed by this woman’s boldness; her blatant disregard for her presence as she looks at you like she’s imagining you naked.

“I bet you’re amazing at that. You were always so passionate.”

When she reaches out to touch your arm Wanda considers smacking her hand away. She looks to you as you let her do it for only a split second before stepping away. You tug at the hem of your shirt needlessly before covering your discomfort with a cough.

“Ahah thanks, um. If you’ll excuse me.”

You run off before either redhead can stop you and they just frown in unison before turning their attention back to each other. They’re sizing each other up and it’s fairly obvious to any onlooker as Jessica’s frown deepens before speaking up.

“So how long have you and Y/n been married?”

Wanda doesn’t need to think about this at all and she tells Jessica the truth. She has to remind herself to take comfort in the fact that she’d been with you for years, and you’d never once mentioned her.

“For 5 years, but we’ve been together since before she started vet school.”

Jessica nods before she looks toward the doorway that you’d disappeared through before grinning at your behavior. You’d always been a skittish thing until she got you alone, and it was then that you’d find your confidence. She remembers the time she spent with you fondly, and despite wanting to rehash some of that, she has a feeling this won’t happen since Wanda’s here.

“She did always have a thing for redheads.”

Wanda’s still scowling when you return from bringing the car around. You’d wanted to flee and you considered taking Wanda with you but she hadn’t followed you so you decided to just make it quick. You ran back into the building hoping to avoid any drama, but seeing your wife near glaring at Jessica’s smug expression, you realize you’re too late.

You walk back over to them quickly and reach out for your wife’s shoulder with a smile.

“Wands, are you ready to go?”

She doesn’t hurry to respond as she considers what you could have seen in this woman. Beyond her looks, Jessica is pretty intolerable and Wanda opens her mouth to say this when you cut her off. You’d seen the look in your wife’s eyes and you knew that things were about to get ugly if you didn’t get her out of here now.

“Jessica, sorry to run off but we have a flight to catch. It was nice seeing you.”

Two minutes later you and Wanda are sitting in a suffocating silence as you drive back to the hotel. You hadn’t bothered to say goodbye to anyone else because you were mostly worried about your wife. You’d made such a hasty exit that you wondered what rumors were spreading, but that thought is cut short by Wanda’s voice.

“Why didn’t you give me a heads up about her?”

Your grimace isn’t missed as Wanda turns to watch you come up with a response while trying to focus on driving. You hadn’t been able to think of an answer to this question that wasn’t more annoying than Jessica, but you didn’t have a lot of time or the courage to come up with a lie.

“I forgot about her, Wands.”

The responding scoff is probably paired with an eye roll you don’t see as Wanda crosses her arms in annoyance. She hadn’t thought that today would go like this. You’d given her no reason to believe that things would go so sideways, and that’s part of the problem and the reason why she’s ticked.

“Bullshit. You didn’t forget about her, Y/n.”

You open your mouth to protest but you realize you have no excuse so you just stay silent. Wanda seems to get more annoyed at this and she huffs in exasperation as you pull into the hotel parking lot.

“How could you? It sounded like you had a really nice time together.”

The sarcasm in Wanda’s voice makes you cringe in realization. You’d really fucked up and in more ways than one. Not only had you neglected to tell Wanda that you had a friend with benefits in high school, but you’d also just let her flirt with you right in front of your wife. You’d be mad too which is why you’re not surprised when Wanda gets out of the car and storms towards the elevator in silence.

“Wands, come on. I was just a kid it didn’t mean anything.”

She’s just angrily pressing the button for the elevator when you reach out for her only for her to jerk away. She watches the elevator crawl down to their level with an inaudible sigh. She really wishes that they’d just stayed in bed today.

“Well, you didn’t rush to tell her that did you? You just let her fucking flirt with you.”

The ride up to the room is made in silence, and you’re almost afraid that Wanda won’t let you go in as she practically storms out of the elevator.

“I’m sorry, it made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to risk her saying more.”

You realize too late that this is admitting to remembering something about your time with Jessica and Wanda zeroes in on this immediately. She opens the door to the room before turning to watch you sweat as she backs up.

“More about what, exactly? What more do you remember, detka? “

You’d like to lie down and cry right now because you’d almost been having fun. You’d been starting to think that it was a good thing that you’d come out here to see old friends, and then this bullshit happened. Sure, maybe you’d liked Jessica a little in high school, but that was 15 years ago. You’d moved on and had an amazing wife and you loved the life you shared with her.

“I remember that we had meaningless sex in the theater changing rooms. However, it’s not something that I’d ever want to think about because it wasn’t memorable.”

Wanda scowls at the confirmation that you’d had sex with the other redhead, and she can’t help but hate that she’d had you first. She knew it was irrational. You’d been in high school around the same time as her, but on completely different sides of the country. You would have never met her at that time.

“I also have it way better now because I’m married to my wonderful wife.”

Wanda sighs in frustration before she turns and walks over to the bed with a frown. She sits down on her side and crosses her arms and legs as she watches you follow her tentatively. She is mad at you for not telling her about this sooner, but unfortunately, she’s starting to forgive you for that. However, she’s still pissed that you hadn’t said anything to deter her from flirting with you, and she wants to remind you of this.

“I shouldn’t have had to watch her flirt with you.”

You’re nodding before Wanda’s even finished speaking, and you creep toward the bed as your wife continues. She’s shooting you a look that makes you want to agree to anything that comes out of her mouth. She’s furious and you don’t want to ruin the rest of your trip because of your stupidity. She watches as you kneel at the edge of the bed and just wait for any indication that you’re not welcome.

“You’re mine and you should have told her that.”

Again, you nod furiously in agreement as you do your best to placate your wife. You need her to know that she’s right, and that you will always be hers; never anyone else’s.

“I know, you’re right. I’m yours.”

Wanda’s eyes darken and she stares at you for the longest time before she lays back against the pillows behind her. She doesn’t want to fight with you about this. However, she’d love to teach you a lesson that will hopefully prevent you from doing something like this ever again. Her arms are still crossed as she watches you fidget nervously, and a smile creeps onto her lips as she decides what your punishment will be.

“Prove it to me then.”

Your head snaps up and you meet your wife’s hard gaze with a puzzled look.

“What?”

Wanda’s smile widens as she leans forward and takes a moment to look you over. You’re tense and flushed and Wanda has a feeling you’ll be very compliant given that you feel guilty for not standing up to your ex-friends with benefits or whatever she was. She plans on taking advantage of this, just so long as you’re game. 

“Prove to me that you’re mine and I’ll forgive you.”

To be continued...

Masterlist

[prythiansfavoritefox]

For day 1 of @lucienweekofficial Gentleman

Lucien is tasked with bringing the Archeron family over safely to Feyre’s wedding- and warming them up to the Fae in the process.

It would’ve been a strange day by any other human’s standards, but the Archerons had had stranger. As it was, Nesta Archeron hardly blinked when the faerie lord showed up before their doors.

Lucien Vanserra stared at the woman who had to be Nesta from Feyre’s descriptions of her. He definitely saw the resemblance to Feyre, but Nesta’s features were stronger, sharper. She had siren eyes, her brows were thick and arched, and her full lips were pressed together as they appraised him. Her purple dress was surprisingly elegant, albeit dated: light fabric, a full high-waisted skirt, puffy elbow-length sleeves, and sparkly silver leaf embroidery throughout. It looked like a dress a lesser faerie might wear to sneak into an Autumn Court ball.

“What do you want,” Nesta asked flatly. Lucien flashed a practiced smile, sketching a bow. “Greetings, Lady Nesta. I am Lucien, courtier and emissary of the Spring Court. I come here on behalf of my High Lord, Tamlin Donnachaidh.”

Nesta’s eyes widened in recognition. “Feyre’s High Lord. What does he want with us?”

Lucien swallowed his laugh. “He wants nothing to do with you, but I’m afraid your sister insists.”

Nesta’s face remained unreadable. “And why is that?”

Lucien let his lips pull into a smirk. “She has invited you to her wedding, of course.”

                              ~~~~~~

After the Archerons had sat down in the carriage, Nesta turned to Lucien, who she had sat next to in order to keep an eye on. “What’s with the eyepatch?” she asked. Lucien flashed an arrogant smile that Nesta had quickly realized was his go-to. “Tamlin’s idea. Thought it would make me look less…threatening.”

“You can tell him it’s not working,” Nesta snapped. Her voice shook a little on the last word, and she clenched her fists in her lap. She was trying so hard to be brave for Elain, but she couldn’t deny her fear. Lucien could rip the three of them to shreds in seconds and not break a sweat. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to take a deep breath.

“Hey,” Lucien said, surprisingly gentle this time. “I’m not going to hurt you. Feyre is my friend, and she cares about you.”

“Sure she does,” Nesta choked. Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. “It’s been months since we heard from her, not a note or fuck you or anything. And now we find out she’s getting married to a High Lord? Will she even be safe there, surrounded by so many enemies?”

Lucien bit his lip, seemingly debating something. “I should probably warn you about something.”

Nesta sniffed. “What?”

Lucien took a deep breath, bracing himself for their reactions. He knew it wouldn’t be good; these people had grown up fearing the Fae, and for good reason. It couldn’t be nice to find out their sister was one of them.

“Your sister…she died freeing us from our High Queen. The only way to save her was for every High Lord to give her a piece of themselves. So, when Feyre’s eyes opened once more, she was reborn as one of the High Fae.”

Elain gasped. Nesta went inhumanly still. Then she took a few deep breaths, as though trying to calm herself. “So she’s one of you now.”

“She’s still the same person, Nesta,” Lucien tried to explain. “Just…stronger.”

“She has become the very thing we fear. She is not the same.” Nesta began moving her thigh up and down. Lucien sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “We’re not all so bad, Lady Nesta. Many Fae fought tooth and nail to free you from slavery. Tamlin was too young to do so, but I can assure you that he and I would’ve fought for the humans had we been able to. And with me, Alis, Tamlin, and now your sister, I can assure you that no one will dare lay a finger on you or your family during your stay,” he murmured.

Elain tilted her head, peering at Lucien. “You are not much like Feyre’s High Lord.”

It was amusing to hear the way Feyre’s sisters spoke of Tamlin. Tamlin was one of the most powerful High Lords ever born, but to these ladies, he was just Feyre’s High Lord. 

“No, I am not,” Lucien confirmed. Elain smiled slightly. “He was…odd.”

“You can say it, Elain. He was violent and beastly,” Nesta muttered. Lucien snickered. “You’re talking about his little entrance? Tamlin never was good at communication. That’s why I’m here.” Lucien pulled a knife out of his belt and began twirling it in his hands. Nesta continued to stare at him, as though trying to figure out his weakness.

“Are you missing an eye?”

Lucien raised a brow at Nesta’s bold question. “Not exactly,” he replied.

“Take off the mask,” Nesta ordered.

Lucien grinned. He could sense the woman’s fear, but she was not backing down. How brave. Lucien could respect that.

“I’m afraid I only take commands from my High Lord, and he gave me strict instructions to keep it on,” he drawled.

Nesta did not back down, holding his stare. “He said that under the assumption that we would be scared if we saw what was underneath. But I think we’d trust you more if you showed your true face. Right, Elain?”

Elain bowed her head softly. “You shouldn’t have to hide yourself for our convenience,” she said softly. The diplomatic one, then.

“Alright,” Lucien said. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Lucien slipped his fingers underneath the eye patch and pulled it off.

[dearweirdme]

Hi 👋

First, I wanna thank you for being honest with me. I'm not the best at reading social cues so unless you are direct with me I'll be thinking "I think we're getting along!" and go on completely oblivious to any implications lol So your honesty is greatly appreciated, I'll keep everything you said in mind in the future.

On a second note, I'm really sorry for how my words came off 🙏, that really wasn't my intention. But now I see exactly what you mean, it really wasn't my place to tell you how to run your blog, it came off really bad. I sincerely apologize for that.

Now, to be real with you, I don't see you as delusional or wrong, or to be more accurate, both our opinions are based on pure speculation and personal interpretation, so I don't see you as any more delusional than I see myself.

In my perspective, I don't see Jikook as a real couple because they have never confirmed themselves to be one. And as long as that question lies unanswered, I'll only truly believe what they have described their relationship as, which is close friends. There's a part of me that suspects they're a couple but I don't see it as a fact.

So, keeping that in mind, I'll only believe you are actually delusional if there's not a single fiber of your being that believes you could be wrong, you are 100% sure Taekook are a couple. But that wouldn't be because you're a Taekooker, it'll be because you, a complete outsider to their life, believe your speculations to be a fact. And that's just a dangerous mentality to have in general, and unfortunately, I see it frequently in both jikook and taekook circles.

I don't come here to try to change your mind about Taekook, I come here cause I like reading your takes. You give very grounded opinions and debunk many biased assumptions I have of jikook, showing me different perspectives I couldn't see in my little bubble.

Moving on, I wanted to ask you: what really sold you on taekook, that made you go "they're dating"?

One thing I see as suspicious is the weird tension they have with each other, I don't see any other members having that same tension.

I think it's this very tension they have that makes Taekookers believe that taekook prioritize hiding their relationship to protect themselves, and Jikookers believe that taekook really did grow distant and got closer after In the soop.

Taekookers: tension = sexual tension and hiding relationship

Jikookers: tension = distance and awkwardness

I understand both of these takes, but I have some different interpretations of it, but ain't nobody reading all that. This shits WAY too long already lol.

Borahae 💜

(the more you look at him the more beautiful he gets, we can't blame Jungkook for getting a little lost in him kkkkk)

Hi @moo-mood!

I’m glad you understand.

As for your question about Tae and Jk, I think your ask really shows how people outside of tkk fandom don’t really understand where we are coming from.

We don’t generally focus much on sexual tension I believe. I’m sure there corners in our fandom that do, but in general sexual tension between Tae and Jk is not that often a point of discussion. There are moments that I feel classify as that, or at least as strong attraction.. but we don’t really get to see much of those. We also don’t expect to, because the last thing we would be privy to see between a closeted couple is obvious sexual tension. They hide that, and I think they hide it well. We see flirting, we see tenderness, and we did get some more loaded moments.. but imo not as much to be able to say Tkkrs generally explain the tension between Tae and Jk as it being sexual.

Sexual tension is only one part that might clue us into wether two people are in a romantic relationship though. What clued me in was how Tae and Jk are just a level up in closeness when compared to the other members. Imo they are closest physically and emotionally. There’s a reason why despite efforts to show Jk and Tae as less close (and yes, imo it’s been efforts) there are still soo many who never believed that. It’s because all throughout the period that Tae and Jk were deemed to be distant, their bodies and their interactions showed us differently. We often get laughed at because of our words on stares, looks, touches.. but those things are actually the hardest for people to consistently fake and to consistently hide. No other duo is as aware of each other as Tae and Jk are. No other duo gets each other as easily as Tae and Jk do… and that is actually something I am quite sure of… regardless of wether that means they are in a romantic relationship.

So it started with me believing Tae and Jk are closest. And what made me believe they are more than friends is basically everything else around them. The way they are the biggest ship, and yet Hybe does not commercialize them. The way they get jealous and/or annoyed because of the other. The way they are at times possessive of the other. The way the other members react to them (wether in a good way or in a way that they’re afraid of discovery). It’s all supported by my belief that individually speaking I feel Tae and Jk are possibly queer.

All in all, when I think of how I feel a closeted idol couple within the same band would be dealt with in SK.. it’s just basically what I see happened with Tae and Jk.