#I’m such a hypocrite: ‘I don’t even care about the traps that much. who gives a shit which traps are the most survivable’

[white-weasel]

Notes:

I didn’t add any traps where I’m relying on someone else to save me. All of these are ones where I have to Do Something in order to live. So that also excluded Daniel Rigg and Eric Matthews’ tests from the pool since you win those by doing nothing (and also probably don’t count as actual traps but? Meh)

Going with the above, if any trap mentioned has multiple people, assume I’m the one who has to Do The Thing for us to survive

Assume all traps play out as explained/intended. This means that rigged traps (i.e. the Angel Trap and the Pendulum) are technically winnable in this world, even if winning would suck majorly

Tried to pick my top 10 that are the most contentious about survivability. I’m pretty sure 99% of us think we could survive something like the bucket head trap so I’m not including it on this poll lmao

[cannedpickledpeaches]

Insert Your Name (7)

Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader

Link to series masterlist!

Notes and TW: Jade doesn't care much about the hierarchy of the mafia when it comes to you. This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!

Tags: @guava-writes @itszzmoon @twstsandturns @myteacupisempty @rou-luxe @chikitasmol

It’s a common song and dance. Small organizations sometimes come to the Leech Mafia in hopes of garnering support for their coups. Walrus asked Jade to “lend” you to her. You’re more surprised at her audacity than her motivations.

“You’re trying to replace the Carpenter?” You occasionally see the leader of the Carpenter Mafia at formal functions. A tall, thin man with a disproportionately large head and wheedling voice. Friendly and charismatic on the surface, but known for his underhanded methods of luring people in, stranding them, and devouring them. An insatiable man who takes as much as he can get his hands on.

“Yes, so I humbly came to ask for help.” She places a hand on her chest and furrows her brows. “The Carpenter is a money-obsessed, greedy man who exploits all those who fall into his trap. I can’t watch him go on anymore. Call me a hopeful idiot, but I think with enough determination, even seven maids with seven mops could clear all the sand on a beach in half a year.”

If you were someone else entirely, maybe you would have fallen for her act. That pained look on her face and her poetic description of her tenacity could move a heart made of stone. However, you’ve spent a major portion of your life knowing Jade. You could recognize that duplicitous sorrow anywhere.

“What kind of mafia doesn’t have any suffering?” You won’t pretend the Leech Mafia is a good organization, either. There are monetary benefits, but mafias are built on cruelty, discipline, and fear of the pecking order. For example, if you dislike the way something was done, you have the authority to make sure the offending soldier who carried out the task disappears by sunset.

Walrus smiles. “I strive to create an organization where we can depend on each other.”

“And you want me to help you, huh. Is that why you told your men to attack me? It was a test to see if I meet your expectations.”

“You’re so cute, you know that? You ask questions when you already know the answer. I hope I didn’t upset you.”

No wonder why Jade looks so displeased. He likes to play pranks of that nature on you as well, but he becomes defensive when anyone else tries. What a hypocrite.

“I’m not upset.” As two-faced as Walrus is, you find that you don’t hate it. In the underbelly of society, this is what it takes to not only survive, but to claw your way to the top. In her own way, she is admirable. “Well, tell us what you want and what you’ll give us. This is a negotiation, right?”

“I’m just asking for the basics. Soldiers and weapons, that’s all. Can you spare me a hundred men?” She asks this nonchalantly, but surely she must know the weight of her question. One hundred men on land when the Leech Mafia operates mainly in the Coral Sea is a tall order. Such a number would impact your own operations in the Queendom of Roses. Again, this is expected. When you have more to lose in a negotiation, it is standard to ask for more than what you hope for.

“What a daring question. You are also quite the greedy person, Walrus.” Jade folds his hands on his desk. “Surely you have prepared something of equal value.”

“Of course.” Walrus pulls out a twisting gold wand inlaid with a red jewel. With a flick of her wrist, an image of a man appears in the air. “This is the man who cursed your parents, Jade Leech.”

A shadow passes over his face. This must be a bluff. How are you supposed to believe her when she declared such a thing without proof? To your surprise, Jade does not challenge her claim.

“That matches my findings.” Jade lowers his chin, his sharp gaze scrutinizing her. “What of it?”

“He’s dead. Carpenter personally got rid of him. No use for someone who managed to screw up an assassination, right?” She taps her wand to the image. It becomes a map with a glowing red dot south of the Coral Sea. “One of my friends has a Signature Spell that can analyze dead bodies. If we get his corpse, she should be able to figure out exactly what curse was cast on your parents. His body was dumped around here in the ocean, so you’ll need to retrieve it.”

Jade’s shoulders tense. You glance at the rigid line of his jaw. Softly, you place your hand on his shoulder blade. Calm down. A beat passes. He takes a breath and relaxes his muscles.

“Your proposal is hypothetical. There is no guarantee your friend will be able to deduce what spell was used. In the scenario which she does, there still remains the question of whether or not it can be cured.”

“It’s better than knowing nothing, right? I’ve been working for you for a month. I know there’s been no progress with your parents’ condition.” Her eyes glint. “Honestly, you should be happy to get any kind of lead.”

She has a way with words. At this rate, she will gain the upper hand of the negotiation. You stand still and believe in Jade and his silver tongue. He is not the type of person who will walk away from a discussion having lost more than he gained.

“You knew about the attempt on my parents’ lives, and yet you did nothing while under our employment.” Jade leans forward in his seat and stares her down. “Why didn’t you tell us you knew something about it? Withholding information from us until you can use it as a bargaining chip . . . I’m hurt, Walrus. It will be difficult for us to form a relationship of good faith anymore. If you had told us before it happened, we could have prevented such a tragedy in the first place. From that angle, is it not your fault that my parents were saddled with such an unfortunate ailment?”

Twisting her words and the situation until it benefits him is child’s play for Jade. No matter how contrived that reasoning may seem, at the end of the day, Walrus is the one who desperately needs resources from the Leech Mafia. As long as he does not forget who has the upper hand, he will certainly get his way.

“Of course,” Jade continues, offering her a way out, “I believe in second chances. If you take responsibility and pitch in to find a way to undo the curse, I will have no qualms in lending you my support in your upcoming coup.”

In the end, Walrus has no choice but to concede. There are other groups she could turn to, but creating good relations with the Leech Mafia can only help her if she wishes to gain influence. A weak, unstable group after an internal struggle is easy prey for older, already established syndicates to absorb. She needs their support to avoid a short-lived victory.

Walrus leaves with a promise of seventy men and enough weapons to supply them. As soon as she’s out the door, your mind drifts to the manuscript again. It briefly mentions that the Leech Mafia’s influence spreads after their parents wake up. Maybe this inner turmoil in the Carpenter Mafia causes that expansion. No details were ever given in the manuscript. When you read it over, you had the impression that the author did not have the slightest inkling towards the politics and inner workings of a mafia.

You find yourself stepping back towards the wall as you think. Your body yearns to curl up in the window seat in the attic. Part of you wants to hide up there right now and digest this information. There is so much to think about now. The division of resources, the men you’re going to lend to Walrus, the compensation for the lack of manpower in some of the Leech territory on land . . . .

A hand rests on your waist and reels you in towards the side of Jade’s chair. The perpetrator gives you an imploring look.

“If you need a space to sit, would my lap suffice?”

A few moments ago, you thought Walrus had audacity. Jade outmatches her.

“No, I’ll go up to the attic instead.”

“May I come with you?”

“Seven, you’re so persistent.” You heave a sigh and motion for him to shift so that you can sit comfortably on his lap. His smile grows unbelievably smug as you take a seat, purposely putting your full weight on him. He doesn’t show the slightest hint of discomfort.

It becomes easier to think when you have something pressed against your back. His arms surround you, providing a small space for you to retreat in your mind without any worries. Sturdy and secure like the face of a cliff or the trunk of a tree, safe despite the threat you know he is capable of being. No matter. You were the one who said you would trust him. And now that you’ve let your guard down, you find that you feel rather cozy.

“You’re being weirdly clingy today.” You notice he still hasn’t let go of your waist. “When Walrus asked for my help, you were so adamant on refusing. I could’ve gone, you know. We would’ve had a reason to lend her less soldiers.”

He huffs. “I have told you before. Have you already forgotten? There is no need for you to dirty your hands with filth.”

It takes you a moment to recall when he last said those words: outside Azul’s home while Floyd beat the living daylights out of Barry Moore. You should never have to lift a finger. Just keep making others do your dirty work.

“What’s your problem with me fighting every so often? I’m not against it.”

Jade rests his head on your shoulder. He’s been getting bolder ever since you promised him your trust.

“If you want to, I would not stop you. But I can tell you prefer to stay holed up somewhere and wrack your brain instead of using your fists. In situations where violence is necessary, you often order someone else to do it unless you are the only one around. Regardless, I would support you to the best of my ability whether you wish to scheme or massacre.” He sighs into your shirt. “I was already quite upset that I did not manage to stop Walrus’s men from ambushing you. It put our negotiations at risk.”

“You were going to refuse her terms just because of that?” It’s not like Jade to make such an illogical decision for something that doesn’t even bring him entertainment. In fact . . . “I would’ve thought that watching me struggle in a fight would be interesting to you.”

“Of course it is.” His chest rumbles against your back. Your eyebrow twitches. Laughter? The nerve! “But I would rather you struggle in a situation that I’ve created, which I can stop whenever I wish.”

“So you only like my suffering when you’re in control of everything about it?”

“Let’s not call it suffering. Challenging obstacles, if you will. But yes.” His eyelashes flutter against your cheek. “If it is ever necessary to truly put your life at risk, it means that I have failed in some capacity.”

You should be grateful to hear those words. But some part of you sours. Why is he so bent on protecting you? You aren’t weak. Your Signature Spell’s primary function is to shield you from physical injuries. Fighting comes naturally to you. In fact, when you met the twins, you were the one who fought for Jade. Sort of. You even extorted him afterwards. And in the Leech Mafia, it is your job to protect him.

“I don’t need to be protected.”

“You are correct.” He nuzzles his face into your neck. “You have survived for this long in the mafia. I don’t try to keep you from harm because you are incompetent—far from it, actually. I do so because you are too competent. You take on more and more difficult work, increasing your chances of getting hurt, but you do not stop and consider how seeing you injured may throw me into disarray—”

He suddenly pauses. You think you get the gist of it. His parents still lie unconscious in hospital beds. Perhaps a small part of him blames himself for not being careful enough. Even you sometimes lie awake wondering if there was anything you could have done to prevent it. If only you took that manuscript seriously sooner. If only you had been more vigilant. If only, if only, if only. Do you dare to assume he’s worried about you as well?

Jade’s fingers tighten on your waist. “I want to make sure you are safe and comfortable. If you will allow me, I will do anything in my power to ensure it happens. Scheme and plot, stew in your thoughts, give orders like a tyrant. I will be your hands and feet so that you never have to endanger yourself. It is only a selfish desire of mine that you will never be harmed.”

“So, if I’m understanding correctly, you’re saying you care about me?”

He chuckles. “Is it something that needs to be said?”

Answering a question with a question. Typical.

“Tell me properly.”

“Relentless as always.” He relaxes his grip. “I care about you. More than you think.”

“You said you wouldn’t lie to me anymore.” There’s enough sincerity in his voice that you don’t have to confirm. A part of you just wants to hear him say it.

“I was not lying, then or now.” Jade’s arms wind around your torso and hold you close. “I have always been truthful on this subject, and this is no lie, either.”

[pretty-weird-ideas]

Xehanort and Friendship

I’m such a big fan of the concept that Xehanort and explicitly Terranort do think that his friends are his power. But more specifically him abusing his friends is what gives him power. 

Because when you look throughout Xehanort’s story and how far he’s gotten you see how his power is built by taking the good will, love, and acceptance that others have given him and using it for the power of evil. It’s not that he doesn’t use the power of friendship. He just doesn’t give his ”admirers” (and those that worship him out of fear) much in return.

His friend’s being his power is why he consistently is seen rubbing shoulders with others. Why he calls the organization his “Friends”, why he choses to hunt those who he has connected with in the past. He didn’t kill, maim, and later puppet around random “Nobodies” (unintended pun). He chose to hunt for people he knew intimately for years. The people he had known since he was a baby(Ventus, Marluxia, Larxene), the children he saw grow up (Riku, Ienzo), he didn’t just chose the guys next door. He chose people that cared for him too much to hurt him at first. He chose those whose hearts he could see into.

Xehanort’s dynamic with Eraqus in BBS (and the 23 year old timeskip in DR) and Terranort’s speech in KH3 was so important to his character. In KH3 quite literally says, “The chains of your friendship is what binds you” while using chains to bash them into the floor in the KH3 climax. He knows that they care too much to hurt him when he’s in BBS and Terranort. His ability to hurt them is because of how close he is to them.

In BBS, Eraqus is hopeful that he can “fix Xehanort” but Xehanort’s aware that Eraqus is attempting to do so. He completely takes advantage of Eraqus’ willingness to accept Xehanort. Eraqus’ hope for better, his savior complex is a part of his plan. I could go on for hours about how Eraqus’ savior complex and self-confidence that he will essentially talk-no-jutsu Xehanort out of his issues is how Xehanort and Eraqus end up where they are in BBS. Eraqus thinks that he can just hug the problems out of Xehanort. In fact, Xehanort barely hides his evils for a second around Eraqus, and yet Eraqus still forgives him unflinchingly. He has literally admitted to great villainy while Eraqus makes googly eyes at him at age 82! That’s some commitment to the “I can fix him” ideology.

This issue is brought to light even further in DR where Xehanort and Eraqus fight over Vor thinking about leaving the group. Eraqus tells Vor that it’s best that friends remain friends forever, while Xehanort mocks this idea wholesale and verbally tells Vor to ignore him and leave. Here, Xehanort questions the idea if being close with Eraqus is as “good” as a deal as he advertises. Eraqus sees himself and friendship as a whole, as a permanent and neverending good. Something that can fix every issue, heal all wounds. And Xehanort disagrees, seeing friendship as something that changes, and also something that can be unhealthy. He sees a neverending friendship with Eraqus as a trap, even when he is currently friends with Eraqus. When Eraqus  pitches a fit over Vor drifting away as a friend, Xehanort gets very snippy, and equates being his friend as a type of imprisonment of sorts. He confronts the idea that Eraqus’ savior complex in it’s early stages is an ends up controlling and trapping his friends. (This later becomes deeply hypocritical as Xehanort quickly veers into literally turning his friends into meat puppets... but ya know). But this is where Xehanort’s opinions of friendship being a tool rather than being an emotional relationship becomes apparent.

(Don’t get me started on how the MoM quite literally talks to Xehanort about how people can love you as a type of darkness to cast doubt on Eraqus’ relationship with Xehanort, while also forshadowing Xehanort manipulating Eraqus in return. The MoM names things like jealousy, possessiveness, and attachment issues, as things that are soon to follow in their friendship.).

Xehanort, especially since his powers hinge on other’s hearts, sees love and friendship as transactional. It’s all about what he can get out of it. Sora is using the power of friendship, Xehanort is abusing it. He’s aware that these people would kill for him, die for him, even become him. He simply doesn’t care. Xehanort is very convinced of the power of friendship. He’s just selfish and knows that people can give him power, and he can give nothing in return. That’s a huge part of his martyr/God complex mess he has going on. 

He is quite literally the: “I would die for you,” “You will” interaction personified.

[putting-the-lulu-in-delulu]

Lowkey it bugs me that Angel Dust is like the poster child of “The Prospect of Redemption” when he is just an abused sex worker who has issues with addiction—which is all NOT reflective of how “good” someone is.

Yeah, yeah, I’m woke and think those things are completely morally neutral. It’s his JOB + uuuh an actual physical dependency? And since in this version of Hell vs Heaven it doesn’t seem “accepting Jesus as your Lord and savior” or worshipping “God” is a factor…. but also like it seems like Angel displaying “good enough for heaven” behaviors was just moderating himself and looking out for his friends (which I think he’d do no matter the point in his journey????) Like he is downright selfless, and while getting utterly obliterated on drugs to cope can seem selfish depending on the context—With Angel it is purely self harm. (Poor baby.)

It also seems like sticking up for himself/having agency is the main factor in showing Heaven he is “worthy.” Which is kinda shitty!!! Because self-actualization should never be a condition of receiving love…even divine love? (“You need to love yourself before you can give/receive love to/of someone else.” Which is yucky to me.)

I AM RAMBLING. IS WHAT I’M SAYING MAKING SENSE? Obviously, the whole point is that Heaven is hypocritical…but YEAH. I’m half asleep typing this lmao.

Like sex and drugs bad, I get it, but none of those parts of Angel fundamentally changed when he “checked all the boxes that [they] said would show a person deserves a second chance.” Which, arbitrarily, were “Act selfless. Don’t steal. Stick it to The Man” (Ironic lol.) Also, I know apparently no one knows what gets someone into Heaven, but STILL. I don’t so much care about the “logic,” it just makes me overthink/over-care.

Anyway, TLDR: it sucks that someone basically trapped in a cycle of abuse is considered “unholy”.

[gray-lord-cat]

ACTIVE SOARING - Reiner x OC fem reader// CHAP 1 "White dreams"

“White dreams”

YEAR 845

“Vickyyy”

No, wait

“Vicky”

Just a little more, it’s that dream again

“Victoria!”

I need to know how it ends

“Victoria Orpheus”

Shit, it’s gone. What was… that dream? I can’t remember it anymore. I hate this feeling.

White dream id the feeling of having had a dream experience without being able to remember it entirely. I hate it.

“What is it, Manon?” I ask my sister while rubbing my eyes, still distressed about having my dream interrupted. I haven’t slept well in a while, I hope I don’t end up with Dad’s eyebags.

“They’re back! They’re finally back!”

“Who’s back?”

“The Survey Corps”

I let a big yawn and roll under the bed sheets again. “okay”

“Well?”

“’Well’?” God, please, let me rest

“Aren’t you going to come with me to see them? Come on, we don’t usually travel to this part of the Walls! It’s an opportunity that we can’t always have!”

“Yet, you always sneak out to see them. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes you even run away for days just to see them. And mom always gets mad at me for getting you out of sight.”

“And I always beg for forgiveness and get the beating.”

“You’re not sorry though, if you still do it.”

“No, in fact, I’m not” she winks at me

I sigh and close my eyes again, ignoring my insisting twin sister.

There’s no doubt she’s my twin, we’re the same, physically speaking. Sometimes not even our parents can guess who’s who. Our art name, the one that the circus fans gave us, “The Twin Redbirds”, speaks for itself as both my sister and I have curly red hair. We are amateur trapezes, under the guidance of our mother, Miranda Orpheus (before Jaques) alias “Moira”, the main trapeze dancer of the circus.

However, Manon and I know very well how different we are.

Manon is impulsive, stubborn, and direct yet very empathetic and childish. Even though we travel a lot due to the traveling circus, she always managed to make friends thanks to her friendly and extroverted personality. However, partially being my fault, she suddenly grew this habit of seeing the world in black and white.

Thanks to our aunt Lara, we secretly grew to share her curiosity about the world beyond the Walls and decided to see it for ourselves. This led Moira to develop a scornful attitude towards anyone content to live and die within the Walls' confines without ever setting foot outside. As a result of this, he greatly admired the soldiers of the Survey Corps, regarding them as "heroes" and wishing to join their ranks as soon as he became eligible for enrollment. She also developed a marked lack of self-restraint that often led her into trouble, causing me, Mom, dad, and the entire circus to worry. 

I know, she knows. We obviously don’t care, but our differences are causes of many fights.

“So you’re fine like this? Like an animal in a cage? Trapped in here?”

“Please not this again, I just woke up”

“You agree with me, I know you do. I know you want to seek the truth but as much as me. Don’t you want to see the ocean, people who don’t look like us, to be able to speak new languages, to try new food, to pet mysterious animals? You said you always wanted to see a zebra”

“We don’t even know if those books tell the truth and if any of those things exist”

“… why are you like this now? You were so eager to investigate and now you’re like these”

“what to do mean?”

“Since Aunt Lara died, you lost hope to look further the walls. You are like a slave to this hypocritic lie the monarchy foisted on us”

“you know why. If we continue we are going to end up like her. Dead in a tremendous way. I don’t want you to get hurt, or worse die. I love you, you’re my sister, you can’t leave me. Also, lower your voice when you give voice to your thoughts.”

“…pussy”

“excuse you”

“you heard me. You’re a pussy” I can see her sly smile, I know she’s teasing me, even though I suspect she mean it this time.

“you little-” I throw my pillow to her face as she dramatically falls on the bed and tries to tickle me

“c’mon Vi, don’t you wanna see Commander Erwin Smith all bloody and swe-”

“Manon!”

This time I’ll go with her.

I’ll follow her every chance I get. Just to know she’s safe and happy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They're gonna open the front gate!” she’s too excited to see the suicidal corps. And Commander Erwin Smith.

“Yes, Manny, I can see it”

“c’mon, let's go see the heroes return, Vicky!” She takes my hand and drags me closer to the anxious crowd. With the corner of my eye, I see a little boy, possibly my age, doing the same exact thing to another little girl on the other side of the road. Ah, the dreadful fate of older sisters (me being older by almost an hour is a privilege I always rub in Manon’s face).

“Damn! I can't see… ah here! … they're the only ones who made it back?”

“Everyone else must've gotten eaten”

There’s an uncomfortable silence between the people watching. The young ones are watching the soldiers in a stupor, some whisper prayers of comfort, others are looking at them with pity, others with disgust, I can see mothers looking for their children

“Moses! Moses!”

Oh no

An elderly woman with gray long hair and poorly dressed stand out of the crowd and stops a soldier, grabbing him by the collar.

“Excuse me, I don't see my son Moses anywhere. Do you know where he is?”

This is Moses' mother.

“So you’re Moses' mother. Go get it.”

I swear I saw her eyes light up for a moment just for the realization to hit.

“It's all we could retrieve.”

The soldier hands her the remaining of her son and she slowly unwraps them, frenetically. It’s his arm, Moses is just an arm now.

“But... my son...he was helpful, yes?” the woman falls to her knees and tries to blather, her eyes staring at… nothing really, even if her head is turned to the soldier in front of her.

“Even if he didn't achieve direct greatness...surely my son's death helped humanity fight back, yes?!” she screams scratching her throat up as she cries hysterically.

Silence. A blow of wind seems to rouse the brown-haired soldier.

“Of course...!” he shouts, trying to comfort the grieving mother

Silence again

“No... On this latest scouting mission, we...No...Just like all the other missions...we achieved nothing at all! My incompetence has done nothing but needlessly send soldiers to their deaths! We haven't found out anything about them!”

Well, shit

“let’s go” Manon whispers to me. I see tears forming in her big eyes. As I said she believes in the cause, but she’s just an empathetic kid. Still, I silently nod a take her hand in mine, walking away.

“the show is in a few hours, maybe it will cheer up the village” And you, Moira. You always loved to fly

“Don't try to cheer me up, I’m not sad,” said the tearful girl

“I just stated a fact” I shrug and then kiss her cheek, like she always does me

“Thanks, Vi”

“Anytime”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------Heyy

this is my first fic ever and English isn't my first language so I apologize if I get something wrong. I do accept criticism so please help me improve my writing skills. As for "Active Soaring", I want it to be almost like a side story where the OC (who will be in close contact with the other major characters, of course) has her own character development and dream to achieve. The story still is a Reiner x reader, but it will be a slow burn (not too slow, but a little angst considering Reiner's development in the manga).

thank you if you've come this far reading!

[ryker-writes]

Can I have a matchup plz

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)

Mbti: infj

Enneagram: 2w1

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea

Thank you

"Of course! I'd be happy to give you a matchup, and I appreciate all the information you gave me. From your personality and likes, you actually remind me a lot myself when I was younger. But pushing that aside, I know who to match you with.

I think you would do well with Silver!"

Silver adores how kind you are and how much you take care of those around you

it's one of the big reasons he loves you

though you may be more of a shy and anxious introvert, Silver is always there for you when you need help in social situations or just support in general

his presence is always so comforting so just having him there is a big help

Silver is perhaps the most stable of all the students, and will try to be a stable pillar of support for you

he loves to spend time with you and will sleep near you while you read or watch anime or play games

he'll also bring you sweets he buys from Sam's

Silver would never harm an innocent person and is very caring himself, so he's not going to stand for you not taking care of yourself

he will not even kill spiders, so he'll just trap and release it whenever one is bothering you

while he loves to help you, his love language is definitely quality time and words of affirmation

he's fine with physical affection and has no problem with giving or receiving it at any time

[void-galaxy-shenanigans]

Why do some people give rlly good advice but aint follow it themselves?? no sense

(this will be very thorough & honest, & broken into paragraphs, and thus will be long. but hopefully this helps you (& others who see this) understand and potentially help them. 💜)

From someone who used to do that:

Advice is, in essence, often hypocritical. That good advice tends to come from a place of ‘please don’t do what I’m doing because I know how much it hurts / that it isn’t helpful’ or ‘please do what I haven’t done because it should help’.

It’s also easier to offer advice than accept it. It’s easier (for most people) to value other people’s safety & well-being than your own, especially when you’re mentally ill, in a traumatic situation, or both.

And a lot of the time, you give the advice you need to hear and don’t even realize it. I (Nico) did that last night, trying to help my/our adoptive big sister cope with her own mental illnesses. I realized it after I said it, that what I offered them was giving me resolve and hope too.

They might not even realize that’s what they’re doing; I know I didn’t start noticing until after I realized and began to accept that I was/we were traumatized, and that was around 19 years old. I don’t know if pointing it out would help or not; they might deny that they’re doing that (not in a rude way, but a traumatized way).

They might also believe that they don’t give good advice (due to self doubt). I know my self confidence was absolutely garbage when I was doing that. The line of thought that my advice wouldn’t help others, let alone myself, lingered for years. I’m just now starting to believe (the body is now 24) that maybe my advice does help people. Trauma still denies it, but I’ve seen the impact in real time.

(They may also believe that they deserve to suffer; it’s a line of thinking imposed on many people by manipulative/abusive people. I/we didn’t fall victim to that exact line of reasoning, but I did become numb to my/our own suffering for a while there. Especially when you’re trapped with / living with / in contact with people like that, it’s difficult to accept that you deserve better. If it wasn’t supposed to happen, then it wasn’t supposed to happen, & while that may not make sense to you (I hope not, it sucks) it can be painful and crippling. Realizing that people hurt you in ways that didn’t have to happen also means that you could’ve had a gentle, kind, happy childhood/relationship/etc. and they actively chose to hurt you or didn’t listen / care to stop hurting you. The grief and pain of that is blinding and crippling. It’s sometimes easier to stay in denial and believe that it was supposed to happen that way— especially if you were raised with the religious trauma that “God makes no mistakes” (about your trauma) and “God gives His toughest battles to His strongest warriors”, thus telling you that you were almost for certain supposed to suffer because it’s all a part of God’s ‘plan’.)

I/we can’t say for certain where they’re coming from in your case. But some or all of this may apply.

~~

On the flip side, I/we do understand ow frustrating it is. It sucks to watch them hurt themselves, staying in a bad situation or doing things that they know hurt or neglecting their needs. It’s frustrating to see someone you care about in pain due to a situation that you know they could fix.

~~

With all of that said, I hope the person/people you’re worried & frustrated about will take their own advice. Whether they believe it yet or not, they deserve better too. 💜

~Nico (Spirit co-conscious/helping)

[endversewinchester]

And now, Harry and Remus (and I am lowkey mad at Harry but let’s break it down) because werewolf politics are my other favorite thing to talk about in this marauders re read I’m doing.

So let’s take this at face value, yes? He wasn’t there for Harry growing up most likely due to a combination of depression (he lost all of his friends in one night), inability to raise him due to prejudice, and also because Dumbledore said no. If we remember the beginning of the story, Dumbledore wanted Harry to grow up a muggle.

But he knows Harry for four years now. Taught him, parented him along with Sirius, and so I can see him wanting to be there because he cares about Harry, and to honor James. Absolutely.

Except that is the first time in canon where Remus refers to himself as a werewolf while simultaneously referring to it as a positive thing. “I can protect you”. But you can protect him even without that. You’re older, well taught in the dark arts. So this subtle touch already gives us a hint that his condition is going through his mind for some reason.

Hermione then proceeds to question him about Tonks, because well. They’re married, she’s pregnant, and he is about to run off with them. And this is where things take a turn.

Can I see James wanting Remus to protect his son when he himself couldn’t? Sure. But Harry is an orphan and the idea that he’s taking away someone else’s father seems to hit him hard.

Does he have a point? I think so. James did die for Harry, after all. And we saw on Lily’s letter to Sirius that he was going crazy being trapped in the house, but still chose to stay for his son. That above all is why Harry’s words get to him so deeply.

And then Remus cracks.

Through the entire series we are given glimpses at how werewolves are treated in the wizarding world, and we are repeatedly reminded that Remus has it rough, whether physically, emotionally or due to poverty. And there’s also how people like him are treated by law and society.

It is a weight he’s been carrying for over thirty years now, and unlike in his childhood, one he doesn’t seem so happy to be able to confide in others for support. What kid!Remus didn’t know at 11 was that the people that chose to be near him would also be affected by the social stigma of what he was.

(I’ve also just remembered why I don’t like Andromeda now, but that’s a different conversation entirely. What a hypocrite.)

But back to Remus, he knows that now. And as it happens, it is going to be a lot worse now that Voldemort is in charge of the ministry. But even before Voldy, that is why he refused Tonks for so long, and why he’s panicking that he might have doomed his son to a similar fate.

All of those feelings are very valid, and it makes perfect sense that he panicked. He is wrong to leave his son, but considering everything I just mentioned it is perfectly justifiable for him to be as terrified as he is.

It is also the first time in these seven books he refers to himself as a creature instead of human, and that is a lot to unpack from someone who was raised as a wizard, hates what he is, and is refused by other werewolves for carrying several biases (though he thinks it’s just him being raised human). You guys can remind me later if you want to hear more.

“My kind don’t usually breed.” I can see that being true but due to poverty and others not wanting their children to suffer, not self hatred as is his case. Not under the conditions he presented us re werewolf packs earlier in the story.

His fear of dooming his son to the kind of life he led is very valid, as I already said, but if he was like Remus then it’s all the more reason he’d need his father’s guidance. That is what Harry should’ve told him instead of what he did tell.

The “he’d be ashamed of me if I was in his life” part is simply not true, but it stings that he hates himself this much despite everything his friends did for him, to make sure he felt welcomed.

And this is where Harry pissed me off, because while Remus is wrong to think about abandoning his son, and Harry has big feelings about that due to being an orphan, he went too far.

If he was slightly younger I’d get him not understanding where Remus is coming from, but he is 17 and both Ron and Hermione not only understood, but lashed out at him for his behavior.

So no, Harry. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be a father or that he doesn’t want or love his son. It’s that life as a werewolf in this universe is a curse stronger than the one that turns him every full moon and he is so scared.

All the points you made are very valid but Remus knows them. Those laws are already in place for people like him, you git. That is one of the reasons he’s freaking out.

When instead of reassuring him and trying to show him how to course correct his actions you go “so what that you’re oppressed, you coward? Focus on your son.” that’s really messed up, not to mention wrong. He IS thinking of his son. That is what terrifies him.

And the Sirius bit???? You are allowed to reject anyone you’d like as an adoptive parent. It’s your right, and if you don’t see him like that then you don’t. But you weren’t so keen on this two years ago when he and Sirius were coparenting you, or earlier when he was acting as a father figure and a teacher at school. Now that he’s scared and acting out of instinct he’s not good enough? That was low, kiddo. Very low.

You talk so big about what your father would think, your father would be disgusted at how you handled this and how you treated one of his closest friends who decided to confide in you some of his most intimate secrets. Just no, Harry.

ANYWAYS:

Data on squibs

Data on the wizarding world post Voldemort overthrowing the ministry, though may I remind you to his was already like this for “creatures” as Remus called himself.

[rogue205]

Unpopular Opinion Rant

I’m still in my Teen Wolf phase and re-watching the show. 

Holy. Hell. I can’t stand Scott. I hate how much of a hypocritical, seeing in straight black and white with no grey, thinks-he’s-got-the-moral-high-ground, self-serving, egotistical prick he really is. He constantly whines about being a werewolf but happily uses his new abilities to become better at lacrosse, increase his popularity, and basically betray Stiles’ friendship because he got better than him. Maybe it’s just me but I really don’t see anywhere in his attitude that warrants him being labeled a “True Alpha”.  I guess it’s all about “willpower and strength of character” but the show implies that one only achieves this level by being good and Scott is not as good and right as he thinks he is. 

Also what gets me a lot is the ending of both season one and season two. (3-6 don’t exist for me, especially the whole Jackson/Ethan thing. Seriously? Ethan? No. Why not Danny or anyone else?! I also hated the whole turning Jackson into a Kanima/Wolf hybrid. He is NOT a damn hybrid! Once he completed his transformation at the end of Season 2, he became a WEREWOLF!!!)

First, yes, I get that the writers wanted to depict Peter as a psychotic bad guy but maaaaaaaybe don’t have him go through a hugely traumatic event where he saw near his entire family burn to death, something he himself also barely survived. He also went feral because of broken pack bonds and the fact that his new Alpha just abandoned him to die. So all that, and the “morally superior good guys” decide the only way to stop him was to set him on fire. Again. Explain to me how that makes them better? Because they pretty much set a burn trauma survivor on fire again and didn’t care. 

Second, I hate Scott’s actions regarding Gerard Argent and the fact that he forced Derek to bite the bastard against his will. Sure, he had a plan but did he actually tell it to anybody? Hmmmm. It seems he does that a lot. Scott also didn’t seem to give a damn that Gerard had all but tortured Stiles, a person who was supposed to be his best friend but who cares about that as long as Scott gets what he wants and people do what he wants. That last part was never mentioned in the show anyway so I guess... 🤷‍♀️. 

I know Scott was also one of the few who wanted to save Jackson as opposed to killing him, but let us not forget Peter helped to save him too, even if it is unclear here whether he had an ulterior motive for it. (It’s really too bad that Colton Haynes left after this season because I am completely convinced that Jackson would have been revealed as Peter’s son given all the buildup thus far. But it’s very likely that the writers would have eventually reduced Jackson to a prop to hold up Scott as well eventually so maybe Colton actually did himself a favour.)

Back to Peter, I know many will disagree with me on this, but I like him. Peter is what one would call a “chaotic neutral” and Ian Bohen’s acting is just so incredible, he makes it very hard to hate this guy even when he’s being a snarky smartass. (Or is that he’s so good that he makes you hate the character like you’re supposed to? In that case, he failed with me). Yes, he killed his niece, but it’s also heavily implied that he wasn’t all there mentally during that part because of all the trauma, the psychological damage of being trapped in his body for six years, and the fact that Laura abandoned him, as mentioned before plus wasn’t Jennifer manipulating him? Do NOT even get me started on how unbelievable the whole “Peter willingly working with Kate” thing is. Seriously, if season one was any indication, he should’ve immediately tried to kill her again once he realized she was still alive. 

Another thing that irks me is Derek and the pack’s constant need to hold everything over Peter’s head when it was actually Derek who gave Kate everything she needed to wipe out his family. But Derek gets all the slack for that instead. I don’t hate Derek at all but come on! 

This leads me to my final point of the rant and that is the writers reducing the Hales to props to try and keep Scott credible as an Alpha and nothing more, even dismantling the Hale pack entirely at one point. Yes, Derek does it to save Cora but they officially wiped out a powerful, centuries old werewolf pack just like that. Only way I’ll get over this is if they eventually give the Hales a spin-off much like the Originals from the Vampire Diaries. I mean more young Peter? Hell yes!!!! Young Derek? Sure, I’m game! Actually showing Talia as a fleshed out character? 🙋‍♀️ Me!!! Also it may get me to like Laura as it would take her beyond this one-dimensional person that we know now. Who knows.

[gch1995]

Is it just me or is what obi wan did to anakin on mustafar something what sidious what do, even though sidious is way worse than obi wan (although obi wan has flaws even though he is one of my favorite Star Wars characters) still palpatine loves to torture people especially in the comics instead of going for the quick kill like Vader even if obi wan didn’t mean to purposefully do it he basically tortured anakin letting him burn like that, should’ve just captured/killed anakin

That scene on Mustafar where Obi-Wan uses Padme as bait to try to lure him into a trap to kill without her consent, eggs on Anakin into a fight, even when he tries to say he doesn’t want to fight him before, cuts off Anakin’s limbs, and then leaves him to burn to a crisp, while self-righteously lecturing him about failing, were absolutely exceedingly aggressive, brutal, deceitful, and manipulative methods that are supposed to be more typical of Sith than Jedi.

Obi-Wan’s a very cut-throat ambitious, hypocritical, manipulative, self-serving, and vain bastard. He’s definitely that colleague and toxic friend who would only ever have your back if it wasn’t an inconvenience to them, somehow eased their own guilt and/or made them feel better about themselves, only to immediately turn around and stab you in the back when the boss offered them a promotion to do it, or the cool kids offered them a spot in their clique for it.

“Oh, I loved my master Qui Gonn so much that I’ll try to honor his dying wish by taking on Anakin as a padawan against the Council’s wishes, but I’m also going to spit on that Master’s grave by deliberately disregarding his advice and teachings of being more independent and open-minded as a Jedi by instead being the exceedingly avoidant, close-minded, and ass-kissing Jedi™️ that Yoda and the Council expect me to be instead because Qui Gonn being more curious, independent, and open-minded never got him Yoda’s and the Council’s approval or a seat on the Council as a master. Kissing Yoda’s ass and blindly towing the party line of their cult from here on out, though, will get me Yoda’s and the Council’s approval, and a seat on their Council, even if it means dishonoring my deceased master’s approach to teaching by throwing Anakin, Ahsoka, Padme, and everyone else I care about under the bus every time doing so gives me a chance to earn Yoda’s and the Council’s recognition.”

“Anakin, revenge is not the Jedi way, but it’s perfectly okay for me to egg on enemies and opponents in to duels every time by being exceedingly aggressive and defensive in combat, even if they back off, hesitate, freeze, or surrender first. Revenge is not the Jedi way, but it’s perfectly okay for me to chop off your limbs and leave you to burn alive in agony, while self-righteously lecturing you about failing from ‘the high ground’. “

“Also, after Yoda and I found out about your survival on Mustafar, we spent the next 19 or so years plotting and then attempting to use one of your offspring to kill off the monster of a man we helped influence you to become in the first place because we’re too cowardly to deal with you ourselves.”

You also notice how Obi-Wan and Yoda never once tell Luke to defeat both Darth Vader and the Emperor too? I’m not arguing with the fact that objectively speaking, there were completely valid reasons that many people throughout the galaxy had to hate Darth Vader and want him killed for self-defense or justice at that point in the series.

I say this as an Anakin/Vader stan who also has a lot of sympathy for him, considering the fact that he seems to have CPTSD, a drug addiction to the force, and his entire life was also a never ending hell of abuse, compromised agency, exploitation, and oppression under corrupt authority. I don’t think he’s wholly innocent because he’s committed crimes without the prompting of those corrupt authority figures, too, he still had a conscience, and he did stop trying after going dark. However, those with positions of authority in the Jedi and Republic of his time had already fucked themselves over long before either he or even Palpatine came into the picture, and he definitely wasn’t given a strong opportunity to ever safely and reasonably escape this fate of corruption, considering just how much every authority figure in his life was an abusive, corrupt, hypocritical, manipulative, and oppressive asshole themselves in one way or another, except for his mother, who the Jedi and Republic left in slavery and chaos on Tatooine, only to never let them keep in touch.

Nonetheless, that still doesn’t excuse the fact that Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader murdered millions of people throughout the galaxy in cold blood for a little over two decades, and even before that, he wasn’t an innocent in his adulthood either. I can completely understand why his victims would hate him, and I can completely understand the validity of people thinking that the galaxy would be a safer place without him than with him by the time we got to A New Hope.

Still, there’s also the fact that, Obi-Wan and Yoda don’t seem nearly as concerned about the well-being of the galaxy as they claim to be to Luke in their quest to use him to kill their former student who they deliberately deceive him about. They know that Emperor Palpatine is the creator and heart of the Empire. They know he deceived and manipulated them all for years, particularly Anakin Skywalker. Yet, they aren’t really interested in destroying the Empire in and of itself in their quest for Luke. Obi-Wan and Yoda want to use him to clean up the mess they helped create with his father and ran away from.

If it were really as much as about the well-being of the galaxy as they claimed, then they would instruct for Luke to kill the Emperor too and be doing their best to fight with him by his side if they could. Obi-Wan and Yoda are deceiving and manipulating Luke to kill Vader to try to absolve themselves more than anything, so they were being rather selfish, even if subconsciously.

I’m not saying the entire Order and Republic deserved mass murder or that they’re responsible for all of Anakin’s crimes. However, he was able to feel desperate enough to go dark in the first place, not just because of Palpatine, but also because of Obi-Wan’s, Yoda’s, and the Council’s abusive, exploitative, hypocritical, and oppressive system and their emotional neglect. He had some experience with what it meant to react and be treated like a normal person outside of their cult, and Obi-Wan and the Council couldn’t adjust, so they made him the problem instead. His mother had taught him that abuse, emotional/individual denial, and slavery were wrong, but suddenly he was thrust into these broken systems where those things he got taught were wrong as a young child by his mother were labeled as “kind,” “selfless,” and “for the greater good” by those with positions of authority over him in those screwed up systems, so he regressed to a state of moral confusion and excessive deference/slave mindset in regards to corrupt authority and loved ones emotionally/psychologically in the Jedi Order/Republic and Empire/Sith out of fear of loss and the unknown until he broke as a result.

Just in general, most of the adults in the Jedi and Republic of the prequels are essentially a watered down version of their enemies. They have many of the same traits as their enemies. They’re controlling, and exceedingly hostile and distrustful towards enemies and outsiders. They’re just tamer. At best, they’re indifferent towards their own working class and the people of the outer rims, and at worst they’re enablers and/or perpetrators of “necessary” systematic abuse, crime, and oppression. They’re not above creating and enabling “necessary” collateral damage by deceiving, endangering, and manipulating others for their own “greater good” that’s safer than doing the right thing.

However, the old Jedi and Republic were more stable and better at living in denial of how much they sucked, while the Sith and Empire are just a more aggressive, hostile, obsessive, vengeful, and unfiltered version of what many of them were already proving themselves to be in the prequels, even before Palpatine got involved.

Aside from a few notable exceptions of Jedi who were actually heroic because they were raised to be good people before they got involved with either the Jedi or the Sith, or got out of them before it was too late, such as Luke Skywalker (screw the Disney sequels and BoBF), Ezra Bridger, and some of the force sensitive Rebels, most of the Jedi we meet in the series are and/or grow up to become self-righteous assholes.

Anakin clearly did not only learn from Sidious how to be a manipulative and ruthless bastard with his enemies in combat. Obi-Wan taught him that too.

Even Anakin/Vader showed more mercy for Obi-Wan in their two duels after Mustafar, and he also obsessively sought vengeance against him for roughly two decades. Granted, I do think that, much like with Padme, Luke in the OT movies after finding out he was his son, and even Palpatine, Anakin’s deference, devotion to, and love in regards to people with positions of authority over him, causes he gets pressured to serve, and/or those he considers or once considered family and friends, his simultaneous obsession with getting revenge on Obi-Wan for what he did to him on Mustafar, while also being shockingly hesitant and reluctant to go through with it when he actually faces him off again goes back to all those traits of devotion, deference, and loyalty in regards to people he grows attached to acting as his Achilles Heel at worst and his most redeeming quality at best.

Yeah, he’ll fight them on the dark side, try to convince them to join him on the dark side, recklessly endanger and lash out at them in a blind rage, and he even killed Kenobi via voluntary manslaughter twenty years later when Kenobi invaded the Death Star and faced him off in A New Hope because he did nothing to fight him back and just stood there. However, in regards to the people he cares about or once cared about, I don’t really think revelry for harming them or killing them is really there.

In regards to Obi-Wan, the desire for vengeance is more complex. On the surface, I think he is definitely angry with Obi-Wan for what he did to him on Mustafar and his mistreatment of him in the Jedi Order, but I also don’t think Anakin’s/Vader’s heart is in it nearly as much as he convinces himself it is. There is no revelry in him for killing Obi-Wan in A New Hope, just shock and solemnity, because deep down a part of him never stopped loving his old master. He obsesses over hunting down Obi-Wan to try to gain vengeance for ten years after RotS, but then still can’t bring himself to burn Obi-Wan alive and actually lets him get away.

I think the people who claim it’s like “the Joker’s obsession with Batman” miss the whole point of Anakin Skywalker. Yeah, he’s committed many abominable crimes, his victims had every right to hate him, but he’s not a maniacal psychopath with no traces of genuine humanity in his heart either. He didn’t let Obi-Wan go because he loves the chase like the Joker does in regards to Batman. He let them go and/or takes no joy in harming and/or killing either Obi-Wan or anyone else he connects to because he still holds genuine affection for them, even if he denies it. 

As for Obi-Wan, I do agree that he’s not ill-intended on the whole, nor does he doesn’t commit as many crimes as Anakin/Vader, Sidious, Maul, or the Sith. I also do recognize that his agency is at least partially compromised by being a victim of lifelong indoctrination in Yoda’s cult. However, I don’t think he was ever a particularly good person as an adult either. I think he was a lot more ambitious, hypocritical, manipulative, self-centered, vain, and surprisingly vicious in his desire for vengeance against enemies who personally wronged him than he was convinced. I do think he grew to genuinely care about Qui Gonn, Anakin, Luke, Leia, and Satine, but I also don’t think it was ever enough to outweigh his own desire to fit in and be seen as perfect by Yoda and the Council.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

I always think of like, the reversal of what happened with the dimitrescu family in the game, like all three daughters die, lady D goes absolutely insane trying to kill ethan. But what if by some miracle or smth ethan had managed to kill lady d first? I think all three of the daughters would go absolutely apeshit hunting ethan down and ripping him to shreds because 'you killed our mama'

And I dunno I was thinking about this last night and decided someone else should suffer with me

I’ve thought of this, too!!

After they kill Ethan they stand around their mother’s broken body in silence, unsure on what to do or say anymore. What was there to do without their mother to guide them?

Ethan’s body is burned. The flames devour his flesh in their stead. None of them can bring themselves to feast upon him for what he’s done. It hurts too much.

They bury Alcina in the garden, bundling up in several layers so they can give her a proper funeral service, despite the harsh Romanian winter. They kneel in the snow-covered dirt, drinking from her veins one last time. Her blood had never tasted so stale before.

Ashes. It’s all ashes.

They hang her hat on the tree her grave sat beneath. Nobody says a word. Tears freeze to their faces. One-by-one, they leave.

There is nobody to greet them inside.

Mother Miranda, Moreau, Donna and Angie, even Heisenberg come to pay their respects. They all say the same thing, over and over again: I’m so sorry for your loss. She was a great mother. She loved you all dearly. None of it matters. Not any more. Who cares if she loved them or not if she is no longer there to give them that affection?

Time passes. Alcina’s death is hard on everyone. Daniela spends a lot of her days locked in Alcina’s bedroom, curled up in the blankets, crying. Cassandra vents her despair and anger on the maidens, practically living down in the dungeon, torturing and slaughtering. Bela, as the oldest, takes up the family business, but it’s so hard, so fucking hard because she doesn’t know how to do anything and it reminds her so much of her mom and she fears failure severely.

The sisters begin to grow distance, as they’re rarely around each other anymore, all too busy with their unhealthy coping mechanisms. They can’t depend on each other for comfort because they can’t even comfort themselves.

One day, six lonely months later, Bela goes out and visits her mother’s grave.

“Hi, Mama,” she says. “I brought you some things.”

She brandishes a bouquet of flowers to the grave, as if Alcina were actually standing there and looking grateful over the gift.

“They’re roses,” Bela tells the tomb. She swallowed thickly, biting back the lump welling up in her throat. “They reminded me of you.”

She tentatively sets the flowers down on the dirt.

“I—” The words catch in her throat. She scratches at her neck with one claw, trying to muster up the will to speak. “I was thinking about maybe trying different mixtures for the wine.” She pauses, took a breath, then goes on, forcing out a giggle alongside her sentence, “It’s probably gonna turn out surprise gross, though.” And then, much quieter, wringing her hands together, “I wish you were here to do it with me.”

Silence falls upon the girl and the grave. Bela’s hands are clasped tight and she brings them to her stomach, imagining what it would be like to find absolution in her claws. She would plunge and drag and drag and drag until there was nothing left of her but shredded flesh and blood, but that would not be enough, not for her. It would not give her her mother back. It would not give her the shouts and the laughs and the boisterous cries at all hours of the morning and night. That was not what Alcina would have done if it had been Bela that was murdered on that fateful day.

But she wasn’t as strong as Alcina.

Bela doesn’t really realize exactly how loud she is crying until her shaking breath hitches so high it sounds like a squeak. She blinks through the haze of tears and scrubs her eyes with her sleeve, but the merciless flow does not stop.

A little brown bird lands on a grave nearby and fluffs out its wet wings. A grazing deer is munching contently on some wild flowers. Some type of bug is buzzing in the grass somewhere from behind.

Looking around at this all, Bela is shocked by how the world keeps running and running while hers had stopped its run not so long ago.

The summer leaves are dancing around her, whisked from the towering oak trees by foggy gales and sent into a whirling axis in the sky. A humidly warm, but also bone-chillingly cold breeze is trying to offer a comfort that seems to be invisible and impalpable. There can’t be comfort. There can’t be reassurance. The pain is still too loud, the wound is still too raw: her heart and her soul aren’t ready to accept that there is a reason for what has happened; her mind is still trying to distinguish between reality and fantasy, between the soothing effect of a false illusion and the harsh truth of a world deprived by its most beautiful voice.

“Why?” She wonders this so often, but there is only pattering raindrops and whisking nature replying to her, and that lack of words is an absence that stings more than she can accept.

“Why?”

She has wondered for too long but still nothing has come up and maybe it will never be answered because sometimes life is like that, a storm in the middle of a summer day and its lingering residue following her for weeks and months. Maybe one day she’ll stop asking herself that but, for now, it’s just all she can think about, over and over again.

It doesn’t make sense.

Nothing makes sense and it has been like that since she saw the sight, just a few flashes of images in a room, blood and gunfire and a collapsing body, that had stumbled down her life and shattered it. She can still see them behind her eyes, can still feel the way her own heart had stopped beating as a black void started to envelop her. She still feels like she’s down there, trapped in a nightmare that no one knows how to stop or break.

It doesn’t make sense.

There is regret in her body language. There is a baggage full of words that should have been said and things that she should have done. Maybe, if she had done them, nothing would have ever happened.

Bela wishes she could go back in time. She wishes there was a way for her to erase all those tiny mistakes she’s made, all those times she wanted to reach out but, instead, turned her head away because it still hurt. Her mother was—is still—the most important thing in her life and, yet, she let her slip away in fear of what she would say if she showed any signs of weakness. Her image is everything and yet, what is left now? There’s no image to defend, there’s nothing left because Alcina’s death has destroyed everything.

So she wishes. She wonders and wishes that there is a way for her to save just a few lives.

Her life.

There are still tears in her eyes. She wants to believe it’s because of the weather and the wind but it’s just a useless alibi. She lets them fall, not ashamed anymore because there is no one around to watch her. But she feels like a hypocrite, she feels like she doesn’t have the right to cry that loss because she could have done so much to prevent her mother’s absence.

To prevent her death.

She knows it’s the truth, no matter how many times people keep telling her that she’s done nothing to cause the incident. She knows it’s the truth, no matter how many people try to explain how, sometimes, she can’t save everyone. That bad things just happen to good people.

“I’m sorry.”

She knows it’s too late.

She knows that it’s useless because Alcina’s not there to hear those words.

Regrets don’t leave Bela, not even now that she’s standing in front of the consequences of her own ignorance.

It’s her fault.

She keeps telling herself it as if this admission of truth can absolve her sin. It’s her fault because she said she would protect her family but it was always so easy to forget about it: there isn’t ever the need to- she had always been the one that needed help the most in the family it seemed. She had always been the one fate had chosen to deal bad cards: her mental health, her perfectionism, those idiotic statements and those stupid decisions.

But then there was her mother. Her mother’s comforting words, gentle touches, light hearted jokes to make her smile—the way she would just…be there and make things better in ways that were difficult to explain to the world that had never seen her in private.

Why didn’t Bela do the same for her? Or for any of her family members?

“I’m sorry.”

Bela is sorry. She could have done more. She could have told her more.

She should have known better.

Bela should have known better, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to face the truth. She didn’t want to realize that her superhero might have been needing a hero herself and she was too oblivious or too busy or too afraid to be up to the task.

She depended on her mother and now she’s lost.

Alone.

[mrs-march-ahs]

How would the Evans react to you coming out as Bi.

How the Evans Would React To You Coming Out As Bisexual

warnings- slight smut, sexualisation of bisexual women

Tate

-Would be super proud of you for telling him - “I just think girls are so hot Tate-” - “Mmm don’t we all” - “But like boys are- - “You’re so right” -When you’d watch a film together he’d keep asking you if you find that girl hot, or that one, or that one -He’d really want to know your type - “So would you be top or bottom?” - “I think top” - Would get super excited, and subtly ask you to dominate him -You’d be able to watch much more porn together which would make him super happy

Kit

-Because of the time period I don’t think he would understand right away -He would ask a million questions, but respectfully -When he knew everything he wanted to know, he would smile -He’d tell you he loves you and supports you no matter what -Because he’s always willing to teach his kids to be accepting, he would explain it to them -One day when he was playing with Barbies with Julia, she would point out that daddy needs to buy her a Ken doll, because she only has Barbies and she wants to play wedding -He’d explain to her that you can have girls who love girls and she could make a wedding for two girl Barbies -Julia singlehandedly would start a Barbie Lesbian Uprising -All her female barbies would be married to each other and Kit and you would laugh about it -If you ever did get her a Ken doll, he would be the pastor to the weddings, not the groom

(Pre-Death) Kyle

-You would be super nervous to say anything to Kyle -One day when you were about to go out for dinner, he’d ask you if everything was okay because you looked a little nervous - “Yeah yeah… Ky I was just… I’ve been meaning to tell you that I think… I’m bi” - “Ah okay, glad you got that off your chest, are we going Indian or McDonalds?” -You’d look at him a little weird and then laugh about it, and he would barely mention it -But later than night before you went to bed, he’d kiss your forehead and remind you that you never need to be nervous telling him anything -If anybody ever said anything shitty about it, he would straight up fight them -He’d not a violent person but if any of his frat brothers dared to make inappropriate jokes or say anything even remotely bad about it he would throw hands - “Look Ky, your girl is talking to Madison over there, looks like you got some competition” - “Well Jared I hope you speak sign language cause all you’re about to see are these fucking hands-”

Post-Death Kyle

-Wouldn’t understand, but also wouldn’t really care -If you did explain it to him, he would nod along but not really understand -In his mind, you’re not attracted to other people, just him -He doesn’t understand that you are capable of feeling an attraction to other guys or girls -Your world revolves around him, your lap is always for him and your chest is for him to snuggle to -You’re all his, so you can be attracted to whoever you like -He’s jealous of the attention you give dogs nevermind other people

Jimmy

-Would find it kind of hot -Would at least ask to have a threesome with another girl so that he could watch you make out -If you agreed and did it, he would have a raging hard on the whole time watching, and would be happy touching himself while you girls did something -Maybe you could ‘put on a show for him’ -After that night, he would barely ever mention it -He’d accept you fully -Every so often you’d go to a diner together and you’d look at the waitress - “How come you’re allowed to look at other girls, but if I did that I would be sleeping on the couch?” - “You can say she’s hot Jimmy”… “Go on, say she’s hot” - … - “Nah this is a trap”

James

-I don’t think he would care at all -You’re his and only his, it doesn’t matter if you’re attracted to every other person in the world, you’re not allowed to look at anybody else -He would just be jealous around literally everybody, not matter how much you explained to him that you still have a type of girls you like -Wouldn’t even want Liz to hug you or kiss you because he’d be jealous -But all this possessiveness, though hot at first, would piss you off -You’d sit him down and make it very clear that you are faithful and always will be, and being attracted to girls and guys doesn’t change that you love him -He would sit there being told off and nod along -He wouldn’t be as possessive anymore, but every so often if you talked to a girl at the bar, he would take you to your room and make sure you only moan for him - “Think her nimble feminine fingers could touch you like this?”

Kai

-He’d find out during pinky power 

-He’d never say bisexual, he’d say greedy or confused or something crappy -Would be pretty shitty about it 

-Would maybe even make you ‘prove it’ 

-He’d sit you down with Winter and make you kiss 

-There would be no right answer, because if you refused to kiss her, to him that meant that you lied about being bisexual and he would be mad at you 

-If you did kiss her, he would be super pissed that you’re kissing somebody else (even if he asked for it) 

-He would get on another level of jealousy, he wouldn’t let you be alone with Winter 

-Would be a hypocrite about it even though he’s totally bisexual himself

[asset35-maya]

.When the party’s over.

>REINITIALISING…

>ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE

>WIRELESS CHARGING: 69%

>RK900 SYSTEM HEALTH: STABLE

>24H FILE RECOVERY: 45%

Nines slowly regained consciousness. He was lying on his side and everything around him was quiet.

>ENVIRONMENTAL SCAN IN PROGRESS…

>THREAT ANALYSIS IN PROGRESS…

Layers of fabric covered his body and something soft and warm was pressed against his face. Eyes still shut, he nudged it gently with his nose and it emitted a low vibration.

>2% THREAT DETECTED: FELINE SUBJECT

The cat sprang upwards and hopped off the surface that Nines was lying on. It was ostensibly a bed, but Nines didn’t own any furniture apart from a couch and work table. The logical conclusion was that he was not in his own apartment.

>RUN LOCALISATION PROGRAM: Y/N?

>Y

>ERROR: PROGRAM FAILED TO EXECUTE

>ERROR: MEMORY FILE CORRUPTION

Nines had no absolutely recollection of his whereabouts or how he had arrived. He had not been compromised as his system health was stable, so there was probably another reason for being completely disoriented. It was voluntary.

He had gotten the android equivalent of blackout drunk.

It was not the first time and he feared it would not be the last. Such were the hard-partying ways of his friends and colleagues. They were all terrible influences. He loved them dearly, but they were terrible.

At 6PM every Friday, Chen and Miller would start things off rather innocently. “Hey there’s a new brewery downtown.” Or “My bartender cousin just hooked us up with a thirty percent discount!”

From there it wouldn’t take long for the DPD’s resident frat boys Connor and Gavin to gather a steady crowd of officers and check out the venue. If the vibes were good (which they almost always were), Sixty would get wind of things. Then the rest of the frat house would descend and total chaos would reign until the break of dawn.

SWAT Unit 32 was famous for its particularly destructive brand of revelry. Skinny dipping in private swimming pools, scaling skyscraper rooftops and causing media scandals were all par for the course. The day after Captain Allen’s birthday, the DPD crew spent the entirety of their bonuses to repair the collapsed ceiling of the Eden Club.

Nines couldn’t remember how he exactly he was coopted into the madness. Probably peer pressure. Connor insisted that he try thirium alcohol. Sixty said that he would regret being a loser and not joining them. Gavin had just held out a hand and double-winked. That did the trick.

One night blended into another and soon Nines had worked up quite a reputation of his own. He was the Casanova of the homicide department. The handsome devil… the hunter… the sex god. People would actually come by his desk and congratulate him on Monday morning.

Nines hated it but he couldn’t stop himself from doing the same thing over and over. Perhaps it was the appreciative clap on the shoulder from Gavin the morning after Sixty posted photos of a high-end Traci model giving Nines his very first lap dance.

Life at the DPD was the epitome of work hard, play hard. It seemed like one big party but deep down Nines knew they were all just slaves to their compulsions. He wondered whether it was because they needed to celebrate every demon they vanquished or whether they needed to wipe the troubling memories of doing so.

In Nines case, there were definitely things he needed to kill within himself. Some were nightmare inducing crime scenes, but some were memories so heart-wrenchingly sweet that he thought he might self-destruct if he were to dwell on them too long. There were things he couldn’t have and things he needed to erase from his brain.

Something touched his face gently.

>PERIPHERAL OBJECT DETECTED: HUMAN HAND

>THREAT ANALYSIS: NON-COMBATIVE

The hair on his forehead was brushed aside and fingers ran over his features. A thumb swept over his bottom lip and caressed his cheek.

Nines couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes and come face to face with his most recent conquest. He lay still, frozen with regret as the hand continued to stroke his face.

The hand travelled down his neck and fell upon his chest. Nines caught it abruptly. It wasn’t even the month-end and his savings were badly depleted. He couldn’t afford round two. He retracted the synth skin down to his wrist and prepared the electronic payment credentials.

Fingers merely intertwined with his.

“Just take your money and go. I’ll tip extra if you delete everything from your hard drive.”

“What the phck are you talking about?”

Nines eyes flew open. Steel blue met storm green.

>SYSTEM ALERT: THIRIUM PUMP OVERLOAD

“Fuck!”

“Wow that’s flattering.”

Nines pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes in a vain attempt to remember what had led to this absolute, unmitigated disaster.

“What the hell happened last night?”

Gavin looked affronted.

“You ruined our housewarming for one.”

>MEMORY ARCHIVE SEARCH: housewarming, Gavin

>RESULT: TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM “G.REED” IN GROUPCHAT “CLUBBERCOPS”, 15:33 18 JULY 2040: Assholes. Party at our new place. Next Friday. From seven till LATE. Bring booze, bring bitches. Nah. Actually, don’t. Our landlord’s a bastard and we already got three noise complaints.

>RESULT: TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED FROM “CONMAN” IN GROUPCHAT “CLUBBERCOPS”, 15:34 18 JULY 2040: Yeah we should keep this one PG. Bring food if you wanna eat. This mf can’t cook and I don’t care to. See y’all!!

Oh right. Fuck. Gavin’s housewarming. Gavin and Connor’s housewarming. His two closest friends who were somehow even closer to one another. Nines hadn’t realised until it was far too late and there was nothing for him to do but smother the bitterness with his favourite coping mechanisms: android alcohol and paid sex.

The circumstances definitely explained the state he was in, but things still didn’t add up.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Did we… did we…”

“No. Nothing happened between us. You were completely shitfaced. I just put you to bed to stop you from embarrassing yourself.”

Nines looked up at the ceiling, struggling to put the pieces together. His system offered him no useful prompts. The fermented thirium had done its job of code corruption extremely well. He looked back down and met the green eyes focused on him with deep concern.

“What did I do?”

“Sixty has videos, but I don’t think you want to see them. God, Nines… why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I’m really sorry, Gavin. I didn’t mean to ruin your night… and Connor’s.”

“He’s fine. He and Sixty moved the crew to Hank’s place. Which is what we should have done in the first place… there’s really no point throwing a party in this shoebox and telling people like Tina Chen to be quiet. Honestly if it wasn’t you it would have been her bringing the house down. Good thing they had all of Michigan Drive to tear up. Hank’s neighbours can sleep though a bombing.”

“What did I do?”

Gavin put his hand back on Nines’ face, his expression unintelligible. The human touched him often enough, but never like this. Never so intimately. Nines forced down the twisting sensation in his torso. He couldn’t get his hopes up. This was pity.

Nines braced himself to hear the worst. He prepared for the shredding of all his dignity and the collapse of his falsely extroverted and confident identity.

What came though was a soft press of lips to his forehead.

“It wasn’t pretty and I wish it hadn’t happened like that, but I think it was a long time coming… I’ve never seen you so emotional before. I’m sorry I didn’t notice anything all this while.”

“Gavin, please.”

“I’m going to focus on the positives, because really… there were a LOT of negatives. Oh boy. You… uh…”

“Gavin.”

The detective dipped his head and looked away.

“Phck, I shouldn’t be so embarrassed…

You told me you loved me.”

Nines closed his eyes. That was it. He should quit his job and move to another state. Hell, he should go to Cyberlife and request a factory reset on compassionate grounds.

“I’m so sorry. I… I should leave.”

He made to sit up, but was pushed back into the mattress. Gavin curled into his side.

“Nah. You’re good.”

“What?”

“You threw up on my plants and smashed Connor’s RA9 sculpture, buuuut you’re good.”

“I don’t understand.”

Gavin wrapped his arms around Nines and edged closer until the android was forced to turn on his side and reciprocate.

“What do you think, genius? If a guy like me doesn’t throw a guy like you out of the house after all that… what does it mean?”

“That you have a high tolerance for toxic friendships?”

“It means I want you to stick around, dipshit.”

>SYSTEM ALERT: THIRIUM PUMP RATE FLUCTUATIONS. OVERLOAD IMMINENT.

“You mean you like me?”

“Of course I do! I always have, but it never seemed right to bring it up. We’re actually really good friends. I didn’t think it would be possible when we first met but we have so much in common.”

“Bad habits for sure.”

“Come on, Nines. We’ve had a really great time together. Some of my best memories at the DPD are with you. Don’t ever quote me on it but you’re a phcking amazing partner. Can’t believe you thought I had something going with Connor when it’s always been you.

So yeah, I do like you. And I’m willing to try… I dunno… being with you. Like for real.

Stop drinking like that, though. I know I’m a hypocrite but you really scared me last night. I lost my Dad and I nearly lost Hank to the bottle. You might be this super advanced android, but that liquid courage shit is a death trap, man.”

>SYSTEM ERROR: THIRIUM PUMP AT MAX FLOW RATE. PUMP OVERLOAD. REDUCE PRESSURE IMMEDIATELY!

Nines nodded quickly and blinked away the tears that welled up in his eyes. Gavin grasped the android’s chin and tipped his face down gently. Their eyes fluttered shut simultaneously and their lips met.

>SYSTEM RECOVERY MESSAGE: THIRIUM PUMP FUNCTIONALITY RESTORED

They broke apart after several golden moments and Gavin hugged Nines tightly under the sheets.

“What am I supposed to say to the others? I don’t think I can look any of them in the eye ever again.”

“Are you serious? You got nothing on the insanity that bunch is capable of. Sixty thinks he’s hot shit with his blackmail material, but I got receipts that’ll glue his mouth shut for decades. Anyway, that’s what friends are meant to be like. You have dirt on each other but you’re not meant to use it.

The same applies to us too, by the way. Don’t feel like you gotta be… apologetic about what happened last night. Yeah, you better replace my fancy new plants but I’ll never judge you for what happened. I want you to know that I’ll always be in your corner, Nines.”

Nines hummed thoughtfully and ran a hand though Gavin’s hair, marvelling at the fact that he could now do so whenever he wanted. He didn’t say anything in response, and just settled for cuddling closer to the human.

>>RK900 SYSTEM HEALTH: EXCELLENT

[trouble-off-grid]

Keep you safe

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CW: Blood, death

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When Techno had awoken he was not surprised to find himself alone in his cave. Tommy has always been prone to adventure, often leaving early to explore their surrounding area. So seeing the little figure no longer on his chest when Techno awoke didn’t shock him. He trusted his pseudo-brother not to get into too much trouble, at least not this early in the morning.

Unfortunately for him Tommy had never been very good at staying out of trouble. He was out in their surrounding territory, making his way over to the fresh river he knew was nearby. He had always loved the river and would often force Techno to take him as nearby animals would find their way there for water and Tommy was able to gaze at them as they did so. It seemed the river was always at peace and Tommy wasted no time in throwing his body onto a large rock and bathed in the sun. Closing his eyes he let himself get lost in the peaceful sounds of the river and nearby animals. 

It was this that presented him with the first sign of something being wrong. It seemed a hush had fallen over the forest as even the birds seemed to silence. Tommy sat up with a frown, stilling as he scanned the forest edge for any potential threats. Not immediately spotting anything he slid off the rock and slowly creeped into the forest careful to keep his footsteps light as he did so. 

The further he went he almost convinced himself nothing was wrong and that he could just return and brag to Techno about how brave he was making sure nothing was wrong within the forest. To his left he heard noise loud enough to snap him out of his thoughts, head snapping towards the area. He debated going close as it seemed the noise was coming from the edge of Technos territory and the elder never liked when Tommy got too close to the edge without him there for protection. 

Steeling his nerves he turned away from the direction he knew would lead to home and made his way towards the noise. A grin stretched over his face as he figured Techno wouldn’t be upset if he never knew what Tommy was about to do. With his mind made up he trekked through the foliage with ease keeping his footfalls silent as he did so as the noise became loud enough to decipher what it was. 

What first appeared as nothing more than indecipherable sound soon turned into words. Tommy felt himself freeze as his brain processed what he was hearing, humans. Now it might seem hypocritical of Tommy to dislike humans when he himself was one but despite being the same race he had never found a comfort in them that he did with Techno. The giant piglin had shown Tommy what family truly was supposed to be and gave him a chance when no one else would even spare a second glance at the boy. 

So hearing humans in front of him only served to sour his mood as he approached them to get a better idea of what exactly he was dealing with. The logical part of his brain that sounded suspiciously like Techno told him to just return home and let Techno deal with these strangers. He snuffed out that thought quickly, Tommy was a big man and he didn’t need to bother Techno when he was already here and was just as capable of getting the humans to leave. 

Finally, he was right in front of the group, being careful to stay out of sight as he glanced at them. The first thing he noticed was that it was a decently sized group, with more people than he would have originally thought. The second was that they had a decent amount of weapons on them. Now he’d like to believe they were just normal hunters who unknowingly entered a piglins territory but the give away was the shiny armor they all had displayed. Each member seemed to be done up in a fancy display of armour only leaving their helmets off. 

There was no denying, these were kings guards, and they weren’t just hunting for animals, they were hunting Techno. The king believed Techno to be no more than a mindless beast when that couldn’t be further from the truth, it was always the knights who attacked first while Techno was just defending what he cared about. It was time Tommy returned the favor.

He glared at the knight who was currently sharpening his blade, he couldn't just sit by and let this happen. Tommy stood from behind his cover and started walking towards them making sure they could hear him approaching. As soon as the group took notice they stood on guard and Tommy had to stop himself from breaking his calm facade as they pointed their weapons at him. “Fellas, fellas, no need for that, we're all friends here,” He put both hands up trying to show he meant no harm. 

“What is a kid like you doing out here?” What looked to be the head knight spoke out. 

 Not going into this with a plan besides trying to get them to leave he felt his palms start to sweat as he spouted out the first thing he could think of, “I want to be like you! A knight, I mean,” he clarified.  

Chuckles broke throughout the group, the same guard as before tried to muffle his laughter yet amusement remained clear on his face, “You? A knight? You’re nothing more than a scrawny little kid”

Blood rushed to Tommy's cheeks at the jeering, even though he was lying it still hurt to be laughed at. The guard didn’t even know how hard Techno and him worked to get some meat on his bones, if he thought he was little now he should have seen Tommy before he met Techno. Faced with humiliation Tommy resorted to what he always did when embarrassed, yelling, “I could be a knight! I’m the biggest man there is and could beat anyone in a fight!”

The man's eyes seemed to glow as he sneered, “Is that so?” He seemed to lean in closer as he said the next words, “Even the blood god?” It seemed all laughter had stopped at just the mention of the infamous name, of course he was referring to Techno but Tommy was one of the few who knew his real name. 

Keeping up the facade a smirk grew on his face as he answered, “Please, even the blood god is scared of me, it's why he doesn’t go in this area”

The tension seemed to leave the air as it was replaced by amusement, “And how would you know that, hmm?” 

Tommy had to restrain from rolling his eyes at the question, reminding himself that the goal was to get the knights to leave, “All of this area is mine and never once have I seen the blood god so clearly you have the wrong place” 

“On what rights do you have to claim this area as yours?” He questioned.

“On the rights of finders keepers, I claimed this area as mine therefore it's mine,” In truth the area was Techno’s but that wasn’t information they needed to know. 

The guard let out a huff at his response, “Well no matter, you’re with us now, might as well make use of you” By this point most guards had gone back to what they were previously doing before the interruption. 

Tommy may not have thought this out, he didn’t want to stay with them he was just trying to get them to leave! “I really think you’ve got the wrong area, big man.”

“Well then, there should be nothing for you to worry about.” Before Tommy could ask him what he was on about he felt someone grab his wrists from behind and they pressed their knee to his back forcing him to fall to the ground, wrists still captured in the unknown person's grasp. 

He stared up into the eyes of the knight in front him and could see a dark gleam in his eyes as he crouched down to be eye level with him, “You said you wanted to be a knight? Well this is how you can help us out, nothing like live bait to encourage the blood god to reveal himself.” He felt his mind buffer at what had just happened before finally his brain processed what was happening, he was going to be used as bait against Techno. 

Oh Techno was going to be so mad when he found out Tommy willingly walked up to his now captors. 

In his defense this wasn’t how he planned this interaction turning out. The knight seemed to take his silence as fear and grabbed him harshly on his shoulder dragging him up with him as he stood. He was then pushed into the person behind him, “Go tie him up, and make sure you draw blood,” there was no sympathy in his voice.

“Wait wait wait, you really don’t have to do this,” It wasn’t that he was scared of Techno, he knew Techno would rather lay his life than hurt him, he was more scared of what would happen if the hunters did manage to get the jump on him. Techno was always protecting Tommy and Tommy just wanted to return the favor and look how that turned out. With his hands currently being tied together behind one of the thinner trees leaving him trapped to it. 

He could deal with this until Techno inevitably showed up; it may have been uncomfortable but it certainly wasn’t the worst. At least until a blindfold was forced over his eyes and a gag shoved into his mouth. “Sorry kid, it’s nothing personal,'' Tommy really began to struggle, now fueled with the panic of losing his sight, he tried his best to let his displeasure be known with how he was trying to curse out the knight despite the gag. 

The knight's cold grip was firm on his wrist before an unbearable pain shot up his arm. He felt his breath stutter at the sensation of a knife swiftly cutting up his arm, even though it only took a second for the skin to cut, the pain remained a pulsing fire. It’s nothing personal, the knight claimed, Tommy was tied up and bleeding out but it wasn’t personal right? Bullshit.

Finally the knight released his wrist and Tommy flinched as the rope touched the open wound, the feeling of it making the wound sting all the more. “It’ll be over quick,” is all he was offered before the sound of the knight's footsteps left his hearing, leaving him all alone in the forest with nothing to do but hope for Techno to come before the blood loss. 

Tehno had just finished tending to the land, making sure the livestock and vegetables were kept up with before he realized something was off. It was too quiet, and with Tommy around things were never quiet. It wasn’t unlike Tommy to go running off but he always came back soon enough, either to bother Techno or just be in his company. He looked around, sniffing as he did so, and confirmed that Tommy wasn’t just hiding nearby trying to surprise Techno. 

Looking to where the sun was he saw it was just barely starting to get dark out and while more likely than not Tommy had just lost track of time it made him antsy that it was going to be dark soon and the boy's location was unknown. He couldn’t help but to be protective over Tommy, he was just a little runt and the piglin would do anything to keep his pack safe. 

The more he thought of reasons Tommy might not be back yet the more he felt his instincts lead him to action. Soon enough he had caught the faint scent of Tommy and though it was old, clearly from this morning, it was still prominent enough for the piglin to track. Techno found himself unsurprised that he was led to the river, he couldn’t help but smile at the fond memories this location brings. But he was on a mission and couldn’t get distracted until he was sure his ward was safe. The smile slipped off his face as he kept going, a soft frown replacing it as he found the scent heading towards the end of his territory.

Techno’s eyes dilated as what once was a comforting scent was tainted by the distinct smell of iron. The piglin tried not to run when near the runt as to avoid any accidents but this would have to be an exception as Tommy was still missing and definitely bleeding. After that it took no time at all for the giant to reach his goal, spotting Tommy, his family, his pack, tied up and bound like that made Techno see red. Even though Tommy couldn’t see due to the blindfold he definitely heard the giant's footfalls as he was trying to move his head to gauge where the noise came from, Techno’s heart only broke more when Tommy attempted to call out to him. 

“I’m here Tommy, I’ve got you, you are going to be okay, I promise.” The giant descended onto his knees, and gently reached out to his brother, tapping his knuckle on his shoulder to let him know Techno was there. Tommy leaned into the contact feeling safe just by the piglins presence and Techno couldn’t find himself to remove his hand using his other to carefully reach around to cut the ropes that bound the boy to the tree. 

Right before he could, he felt a prick in his shoulder and looked to see a minuscule arrow lodged in his shoulder. A growl reverberated through his chest as he looked at the area where the offended arrow had come from, spotting a soldier perched with a bow. It seemed with the first hit the rest of them took that as their sign to attack as well. His eyes glowered dangerously at the attackers, easily able to knock down any who dared to get too close, “Are you the one’s responsible for this?”

Though Techno had asked, it was clearly a rhetorical question as everyone was aware of who was guilty of restraining the teen. “We’ve come to best you, blood god!” 

Technos head snapped in the direction of the voice and based on the appearance spotted what seemed to be the head knight. With a speed no human could ever hope to match, Techno had reached down and snatched the guard right off the ground, holding him in a fist tight enough he dropped his sword as he was raised. He bared his teeth at the tiny enjoying the look of panic on his face, “Best me? You can’t even hurt me.” There was no mercy as Techno slowly squeezed the life out of the guard. As a reaction all the guards started up again with more vivour but Techno felt no pain, even when one succeeds in hitting him, the attacks are nothing more than an inconvenience to the giant.

It was hearing Tommy whimper that brought him out of his rage, looking over to see where Tommy was previously standing; he was now sliding down the base of the tree. Dropping the nuisance from his hand, not caring of how he landed, he paid full attention to Tommy. Once again dropping to his knees in front of the boy, this time using his arm to encircle him as to make sure nothing could get to him. Without any interruptions he finally was able to cut the rope, freeing Tommy. 

Tommy for his part immediately went to take off the blindfold with his now freed hands and it was then that the source of the blood he smelt earlier was shown. On Tommy’s left arm the vein was clearly cut open, blood oozing out as there was nothing to stop it from doing so. Blood was getting all over the young one’s clothes as he moved from untying the blindfold to the gag. Techno couldn’t stop the concerned rumble that produced from him if he tried, seeing his pack hurt like that was making his instincts scream. At the noise Tommy finally looked up at him a lazy smile covering his face, “How’do” he slowly spoke, eyes hazy. 

“Oh God, okay, Tommy I need you to stay awake for me alright?” Panic filled his voice he reached out to his little brother noticing how Tommy seemed to absentmindedly follow his movements. Going limp as Techno gently scooted Tommy until the human was fully sitting in his hand. Using his teeth he ripped a piece from his cape and handed it to the boy, “I need you to wrap that around your arm for me, okay?” 

Tommy mumbled something that was too quiet for Techno to hear and slowly started to wrap his arm, occasionally flinching from the pain. Techno brought him close to his face just barely nuzzling him with his snout, “You did so good, I just need you to do one more thing for me okay?” Going cross eyed as he watched the boy nod his head he continued, “I need you to keep talking okay? Tell me about what animals you saw at the river.”

“I sawa..deer, it looked tobe..female causeof her…horns..I guess just allthe woman…flock to me.” Despite the slurring Techno let out a relieved sigh, even when dealing with blood loss, Tommy still managed to stay, well, Tommy. Slowly bringing his hand down, Techno cupped it against his chest keeping Tommy tucked close, no could hurt him from there. 

Making sure he could still hear mumbling coming from the runt he slowly stood back up, turning around to stare down at the people responsible for Tommy’s current state. All softness left his face as he looked at the knights, replaced with a steely glare that if it could, would already have them six feet in the ground. They were all in one area, surrounding their captain to see if he was alright. Good, this would make Techno’s job easier. 

These humans had come into Techno’s territory planning to kill him and not only that but they had hurt Tommy and as they were about to learn, no one hurts Techno’s family. The giant piglin felt no pity as he finished off the guards, easily wiping them out with just one step. They received a death too quickly for Techno’s likening but the life he was holding in his hands was and always would be more important. 

Bringing Tommy back up to his face he couldn’t help but to sniff Tommy, trying to find any other spots on the smaller that were bleeding. At the insistent air blowing over Tommy he couldn’t help but to let out a little laugh at the feeling, Techno’s face brightening greatly as he heard the noise. “I knewyou’d save me,” with his uninjured  arm he patted Techno on his snout, blue eyes staring into red. 

Techno started to purr as he gently squished Tommy against his cheek, knowing just how much the teen liked the sound and at being able to have his pack so close to him, “I’ve got you Tommy, I’m going to keep you safe” and Tommy full heartedly believed he would. 

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 5

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 5

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and light smut.

Words: ~2000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

******

You didn’t grow up with hugs, so you never really understood the big deal about them. Nothing irritated you more than when acquaintances wanted to hug you. Over the years you’d learned to accept it and go with the flow but intimate gestures from people you barely knew made you uncomfortable. The only time you didn’t mind being hugged was by Davina and even then she was careful not to overdo it. But right now, with Billy’s arms locked around you, you pressed up against him, he felt so good, so solid, you never wanted to leave his embrace. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so cherished, and the fact that it was Billy – you didn’t want to think about what that meant.

You wrapped your hands around the back of his shoulders, simply breathing him in.

At first the comfort Billy provided was enough to distract you from what happened today, but then you were suddenly struck by the memory of Adam pointing his gun at you. Thanks to your father’s outbursts you learned a long time ago to stay calm in hostile situations, and that skill came in handy this morning. While Adam spewed hatred at you and accused you of destroying his life, you kept him preoccupied and talking until the cops came up and managed to haul him away. But once the danger subsided, all of that unleashed fear came back with a vengeance and you hadn’t been able to shake it off since then. Shopping, and then Billy’s unexpected arrival, had provided a temporary distraction but it was still lingering in you, threatening to engulf you at any moment.

Your fingers trailed up Billy’s back. One hand cradled the nape of his neck while the other reached up to play with his hair. He was so tall you had to stand on your tip-toes to run your fingers through his silky strands. You dropped a soft kiss on his chest, over his sweater, then on his skin as your lips dragged up to the base of his throat. His hands caressed languidly down your back, and you groaned when he squeezed your ass. Your hips ground into his, needing more from him than he was giving.

Adam’s face flashed through your mind, his sheer hatred of you stamped across his angry features. Your chest felt constricted, like you couldn’t breathe.

Before you could change your mind, you reached up to kiss Billy.

Every thought in your head instantly dissipated.

You’d forgotten what it felt like to have his mouth devour yours, hot and wild and reckless, tongue on tongue, tongue against teeth, nothing about it soft or tender but simple, pure assault on your senses. He didn’t just kiss with his mouth, he kissed with his whole being, every movement of his reverberating throughout your body. Even something innocuous like his fingers fisting your hair heightened your desires, making you more frantic.

Usually he was very much in sync with what you wanted, he could read when you were in the mood for slow and sensuous, or when you wanted to be fucked hard and rough, and he always delivered. But today he seemed to want to take his time even though you kept pushing for more. Charging forward, you trapped him against the wall behind, kissing him ferociously while your hands rushed to the buttons on his jeans. As you tried to undo them your fingers shook violently, frustrating you so badly that you tore your mouth away from his just so you could focus on ripping them off.

“Y/N,” he groaned, panting.

You didn’t look at him, too busy unzipping his jeans.

“Y/N, slow down…”

Your fingers delved beneath his boxers to palm his cock. You missed the feel of him, the touch of him, how slick he felt in your hands when he was hard. Before Billy you never thought cocks were beautiful but his was thick, long and divine, made to give you the most incredible of pleasures. Your mouth and pussy thirsted for him-  

Abruptly, Billy grabbed your shoulders and forced you to back off.

Caught up in passion, your brain scrambled to figure out why he was no longer touching you. Breaths labored, you stared up at him, confused, as he pulled up his jeans. Before you could catch your breath he was whirling you around, forcing you against the wall, gripping your wrists tightly over your head. His penetrating eyes bore into you, like he could see right through you or something, and the thought scared you. Leaning forward you tried to kiss him but he angled back, rejecting your attempts.

“Hey,” he murmured. “Just stop. Okay?”

“I thought you wanted this.”

“I do but-”

“Isn’t this why you showed up here?”

“Look, you’re messed up right now.”

“I’m fine!” you snapped, struggling to release your arms from his grip. “I want this, ok? I want you. Let me show you. Let me fuck you.”

He focused on you closely, his eyes dark and stormy, before he finally loosened his grasp. When you moved to cradle his face, he retreated back. Forget kissing you, he didn’t even touch you. Instead, he knelt down to pick up your robe from the ground and cover you with it. That’s when you noticed you were naked. You hadn’t even realized your robe had slipped off.

You were naked and desperately throwing yourself at him and he was purposely rejecting you. It felt like a slap in the face. You were mortified.

Pushing him away you tightened the robe around you and tried to sidestep past him. Except he blocked your path.

You tried again, he did the same.

“What?” You snarled, swallowing the lump in your throat. You were embarrassed as hell but you’d die before telling him that.  

He tilted your chin, forcing you meet his stare. In turn, you glared at him.

“Sex isn’t going to make you forget what happened this morning,” he said softly.

“Maybe I just wanted to feel something good.”

“Doesn’t last long. Then you’re stuck feeling shitty again.”

You were tired of his sanctimonious bullshit. He of all people shouldn’t have been lecturing you on using sex as a distraction. “Like you’ve never used me for sex?”

“Fine, yeah, I have. And I don’t want to be used in the same way.”

“You’re such a hypocrite!”

“I don’t want you to regret being with me.”

The intensity in his eyes was spellbinding, piercing you right through to the core. You trembled when he brushed your cheek with his fingers, your heart pounding. Throughout your time together, you’d studied and learned many of his expressions and nuances. The excited bounce in his movements when Anvil booked a new client, the underlying bitterness in his words on those days he’d gone to visit his mother, how dark and glossy his eyes shined when he was about to come. But the way he was watching you now – this was new to you. This was dangerous territory. The last thing you wanted was to get caught up in Billy Russo again.

You wrenched his hand away. “If I have regrets, I wouldn’t bother you with them.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Anyway, I told you yesterday. If we have sex again, I’d see it as closure.”

The shift in his eyes was instant. A second ago there had been warmth in his gaze, now there was only disdain. “So you can move on?”  

“Not just me. You too.”

Molten eyes narrowed into slits. “Maybe I don’t want to move on.”

“What does that even mean?”

His jaw was clenched, his mouth set in a hard line. “Why do you have to make this so complicated? Why can’t we just go back to how things were?”

“I threw myself at you five minutes ago and you rejected me! And now you’re telling me you want to keep sleeping together?” You massaged your temples, feeling a headache coming on. “Are you purposely trying to fuck with my head?”

The sound of your phone vibrating loudly against the coffee table drew your attention. You marched over to see who was calling. Spotting Roger’s name, you tensed immediately. Why would he be calling you late at night unless it was to tell you Adam was being released? Your heart started pounding as you picked up the call. “Hey, Roger. What’s up?”

Billy snickered beside you and you cast him a dirty glance, turning away from him.

“How are you holding up? I was worried about you, I wanted to check in.”

You breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t calling with news about Adam. “I’m fine.”

“I received an email from HR. They said you refused an appointment with the therapist?”

“I don’t need to talk to anyone,” you insisted. You’d tried the therapy route years ago and found it to be a waste of time.

“Unfortunately, it’s not optional. You know how it is. Insurance. Liability. All of that. We just need to make sure you’re okay.”

You exhaled a resigned sigh, rubbing the side of your head again. Today was not your day. “Fine. I’ll make an appointment.”

“Good. I’m glad.” He cleared his throat. “And if you need to talk to me, I’m also here.”

“Thank you for the offer but I’m alright.”

“How about we meet for dinner tomorrow?  I want to run some ideas by you about the expansion.”

You groaned internally. You had a stack of work you needed to do and you were hoping to catch up on it this weekend, but turning down a work dinner with your boss wasn’t a smart idea. “Sure. Tomorrow night sounds good.”

“Any preferences?”

“How about Piatti’s?”

“You love that place, don’t you?”

You chuckled. “Yeah, it’s one of my faves.”

“I’ll make reservations for 7pm. See you then.”

“Yeah. Thanks for checking in, Roger.” You hung up and put the phone back on the coffee table.

“Yeah, Roger, thanks for checking in.”

Hearing Billy imitating your voice, you turned around to find him balanced against the edge of the sofa arm, his long legs sprawled in front of him. Arms crossed, he was staring at you with a stern expression. “Isn’t that sweet? First his negligence almost gets you killed, and then he checks in to play the hero.”

You frowned at him. If he was anyone else, you would have thought they were jealous – but you knew Billy didn’t feel that way about you.

His lips twisted into a sneer. “And of course you eat it all up. Because he’s such a fucking sweetheart.”

“What is your problem with him? He’s a nice guy, and he was actually really great with me today.”

“I bet.” Billy’s voice was laced with hostility. “Nice. Sweet. He’s checking of all the right boxes, isn’t he? But can loverboy get you wet? Would he even know how to make you come?”

You finally snapped. “Are you jealous or something?”

Silence hung in the air as he simply stared at you, his jaw ticking. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not my fucking girlfriend.”

His words may have hurt, but they also served as a cruel reminder of why you needed to walk away. “That’s right. I’m not. So this thing you’re doing…” You wagged you index finger back and forth between you and Billy. “This interrogation stops now. I don’t answer to you. Who I’m seeing, who I’m fucking, who I’m interested in, it’s none of your business. So stay out of my life and I’ll stay out of yours.”

He stood up to his full height, probably trying to intimidate you. However you held firm, leveling him with a heated glare as he closed the distance between you. His eyes were cold, contempt etched on his face. “Bring the vibrator on your date night with Roger. Probably only way he can get you off.”

“Fuck you, Billy!”

“Not interested, sweetheart,” he snarked back, walking past you.

When you heard the door shut a few seconds later, you walked over to lock it.

You spent the rest of the evening trying to distract yourself from the warring thoughts in your head. When it wasn’t Adam’s face haunting you, it was Billy mocking you. You tried watching a movie but that did nothing. You attempted working next, but you couldn’t focus. Eventually you realized there was only one thing you could do to lessen the fear. You needed to get ahead of it. Adam may have been angry and unhinged, but he came from a powerful family. Even if he couldn’t be controlled, they could be. So you did what you always did to protect yourself. You started acquiring information you could use as leverage against your enemies.

Part 6

A/N - Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the likes, reblogs, comments, feedback and the asks. I’m so grateful to have wonderful readers like you. As always, if you have the time, I’d love to read your thoughts on this chapter.

If you want to be added/removed from the tag list, please let me know. A few people have asked to be tagged, but for whatever reason, Tumblr wouldn’t let me. I still have you on the list, though you may not receive notifications.

Tag List

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[pumpkinscissors]

Ring 6 thoughts about falling off the path / The “light”

EDIT: The following theory is almost certainly disproven, as LoTown is geographically lower than the other Rings. Hence the name LO town, I suppose. Whoops!

-

I'm wondering what constitutes "falling off the path" in Ring 6 (besides the obvious connotations of failing at one's duty or conforming in the strict way that's expected, anyway).

The outro of Ring 6 is seemingly sung by those who have done exactly that (fallen off the path). It also implies there is something literal about the fall, as they describe barely receiving sunlight (a detail that doesn't mesh with the Ring that's tasked with growing crops), as well as being judged and alienated by a uniquely oppressive experience, and being apparently disoriented by the city's sounds which bounce around... As if it's some kind of pit that they're exiled to.

("This bit of distance sure does hush those holy epithets" also makes me picture that they're physically distant from their original posts/jobs - or perhaps from religious propa9anda itself? I must admit, I hadn't known the term "epithet" before this album. Apparently it can mean "a term of abuse", which may support the conclusion that these fallen people are subjected to invective & other harsh judgement that is specifically religious in nature/originating from "holy" people - which stresses the alienation of the fallen group. They seem well and truly separate from the rest of Ring 6.)

Anyway, if there is some type of dungeon in Ring 6, I'm a bit unsure of its purpose. It's been said that those who don't conform to their respective roles in a given Ring are simply cast down to a lower Ring. (Note: As far as I know, that much has been indelibly confirmed in no uncertain terms.)

However, at the same time, at least some of the residents of Ring 6 know that the Guides are bullshitters ("hypocrites"), so perhaps, to prevent that knowledge from being spread into the lower Rings, they opt to imprison rather than cast down in certain cases? (Though, that would require that anyone with influence gives a shit about further unrest in the lowest Rings. I mean, it's not as if they can affect anything, so does anyone care what they know?)

Alternatively, the state religion could simply support imprisonment over demotion, for whatever reason.

All speculation and musing on my part, mind. I'm sure my interpreting power is not all that, as I tend to read into the wrong things. Hell, “Down here” isn’t even exclusive to the outro; only the cave-like descriptors are.

-/////-

I'm also getting hung-up on a potential parallel between two lyrics that I find confusing on their own. Maybe they're meant to play off of each-other/lend each-other meaning or nuance, but I really have no idea.

* And what makes us wanna die for your light on us to shine (Ring 5)

* When the light in you dims down, I'll blot the sun out (Ring 1)

I wonder if it's the same concept being referenced in both instances?

Right now, I can only imagine that the light is a euphenism for something related to XCV. The people seem to desperately want XCV's "light" upon them (approval? attention? favor?), meanwhile, XCV seems to deem that a "dimmer light" warrants punishment or scare tactics to regain respect/worship (in which case, it could also represent approval, attention, or favor, to him).

Going off of that... Ring 5 quite literally finds it hard to believe that XCV allows them to wake up in the morning. If that’s what XCV’s light entails - being given their rights only under the guise of privileges - then it makes sense they’d be desperate for his light.

EDIT: Alternative interpretation of that lyric (“Hard to believe he lets us wake up every day”) is that the residents have it so good, they think it’s too good to be true. i.e., “We’re really allowed to live like this??” Though it seems like everyone in Middle Class are all putting on a bit of a different, outwards-facing persona to begin with. The latter half of the song has them acknowledge they are trapped, under XCV’s heel, buying into their own demise; in contrast to the earlier “pledges of allegiance” towards XCV and ingratiating bullshit (which can serve as double entendres that have less favorable meanings for how Ring 5 *actually* views XCV and the other powers that be).