#I’m such a baby when sick I won’t even lie I hate it

[good-night-space-kid]

Getting sick for the first time since Covid started… starting to get a sore throat…… I think I will be passing away I hate this

[xmalfoyweasleyx]

Deceiving a spy - Azriel x reader

Summary: Azriel thinks his mate betrayed him. Angst to fluff.

Warnings: lots of angst but in a good way, also very fluffy, torture, betrayal (but not really), reader gets hurt, mentions of death

Azriel couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it. For once in his life he hated the abilities he had as a spy, for he wouldn’t be hearing how you’re betraying him now. Not only him, but the entire Night Court. He felt sick.

“I’ll make sure to lead them the other way.” he heard you say to the Hybern soldier, eavesdropping from behind the wall. “Good. And make sure you have some more intel from that High Lord, or the king won’t be pleased with you” the soldier answered.

Az could almost cry. But anger was the first feeling that overcame him. Never in his life would he even imagine you could betray him. His mate. He didn’t know it was even biologically possible, deceiving your other half.

So Az did what he had to do, guided by duty but also anger, disappointment. The Hybern soldier was now gone, leaving you alone. He hid in his shadows, slowly trailing towards you.

You screamed when he grabbed your hands from behind, holding you trapped in his firm grip. You couldn’t see who was behind you, but the smell hit you immediately. Azriel.

“Explain yourself” he gritted out.

You were speachless, your blood turned into ice. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. This didn’t go according to plan. Before words could find you, before you could explain yourself, a panicked stream of tears fell from your eyes.

You felt Azriel wrap a rope around your hands. You could only panick. How could you ever explain yourself? Azriel turned you around. The look in his eyes was even worse. He looked at you with such hatred, full of disappointment. You started hyperventilating then, tears streaming down your face

“How could you.” his voice was cold, the voice you only heard him use with enemies.

“Az, Az please..” you cried out.

He grabbed your arm harshly, the movement going against every instinct in him. You flinched in pain, not only from the firm grip but also from the pain in his eyes. Azriel felt it too, your feelings unconsciously going through the bond. A stinging feeling in his chest.

Suddenly you were somewhere else. Azriel winnowed you somewhere. His dungeon.

You started breathing heavily again, panicked cries leaving your mouth. You knew what Azriel did in his dungeon, you knew what kind of people he brought here.

“Az please, please don’t hurt me” you cried out.

Azriel felt like his heart broke into a million pieces. It pained him physically to see you like that. Him causing you pain, handling you so roughly. The look of pure terror in your eyes, you were scared. But you were the one that betrayed him, you were the one who didn’t love him enough.

“Hybern Y/N, Hybern for gods sake!!” he screamed, the inner conflict making him tug on his hair. He pulled you down on a chair, tying your legs to it.

“I can explain. Please let me explain. I love you.” you pleaded.

Azriel flinched again. “Don’t say that.” You caught a tear falling on his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away.

“I do love you, baby, please” you whispered now, all your hope and energy leaving your body. “My mate, my love, please…” Your head fell back against the chair in dispair.

“Don’t lie to me, don’t manipulate me even more. I can’t… I can’t handle it.” he choked out. Trying his best to ignore the ache in his chest when he heard you utter those loving words.

“I’m getting Rhys” he decided. This was the right choice, he couldn’t judge you fairly. Not when you looked at him like that. He was supposed to protect you. He was your mate. And now you sat there, utterly devastated. Still looking at him with so much love in your eyes.

It was all so conflicting. So Az winnowed away.

—

The moment Az explained everything to Rhys and Cassian, they immediately winnowed to the dungeon. But said dungeon was empty. Utterly empty. You were gone.

“What?” Az breathed out in shock. “She was just here”

“You think she escaped? Did you ever tell her how to get out?” Cassian asked.

“N-no, we barely talked about this stuff”

Rhys frowned, “I’ll try to reach her.”

“No, she won’t answer Rhys, she’s loyal to them” Azriel shook his head.

But Rhys didn’t answer, a focused look on his face. He started frowning. He seemed worried.

“What is it?” Azriel couldn’t hide the worry in his voice, even after the unforgivable betrayal. He couldn’t help but still care for you.

“They… shit… they took her” he sighed, nervously rubbing his jaw.

“What? Who took her? Where?” Azriel started pacing around nervously.

“Hybern, they took her. They know. They found out” Rhys’ voice was full of worry now.

“What did they find out?” Cassian asked confused.

“That she… Shit Az…” Rhys sighed, giving Az an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, you were wrong brother. She… she’s a double spy. She was misleading them”

Az was immediately drowned by guilt. Tears filling his eyes again. A blinding pain in his chest. You didn’t do anything wrong.

And he… he didn’t listen. He… tied you up.

And you were in danger now, he then realised. They had to move quick. The mood suddenly chanhed when he turned into action. Grabbing some knives and a sword from the wall.

“Where is she.” he stated with the familiar lethal coldness of the shadowsinger. He could feel guilty later, but he had to move. Now.

“Not too far away, we need to be quick they’re… they’re going to torture her into talking” Rhys’ voice was pained too.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Az suddenly screamed. His brothers had never seen him like that. So uncontrolled, so desperate.

—

Even though you were in so much pain, you could only think about one thing. Azriel’s face when he found you. The torture from the Hybern soldiers was nothing in comparison to that face.

You would die in here. You would die with your mate thinking you betrayed him. And he will never know the truth.

Another hit from the lash hit your body. But you were out of screams, out of breath. You were tired. You just wanted to drift away. To fall into an endless dream where Az would be, ready to hold you and kiss you, to tell you everything was okay.

Your eyes fell closed when the torturing finally stopped. Maybe they finally took a break. You could almost feel Azriel, waiting for you in that dream. You could smell him.

“Y/N” you heard him say. “Y/N!” he said again, more panicked now. His voice, his smell, it made all your fears drown. Were you dead then?

“Az-Azzie, baby, I’m so sorry” you mumbled to the voice.

“Open your eyes, baby, please,” you felt a scarred hand on your cheek, softly stroking it.

That’s when you opened your eyes. It was real, Azriel was really there. You weren’t dead.

“Azriel” you started crying in relieve. Your mate quickly started to undo your restraints. That’s when you noticed Cassian and Rhys, who were fighting the final soldiers standing.

They had come. They had come to save you.

When all the ropes where finally cut, you immediately fell into Azriels arms. You could only cry, wrapping your arms tightly around his body, burrying your wet face in his neck, breathing in his smell.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry, I- I didn’t… It wasn’t true, I didn’t betray you.. I..” you tried to explain but you couldn’t find the words.

“I know baby, I know. I’m so sorry, I will never hurt you again, please forgive me sweetheart.” Azriel was crying now too.

He grabbed your face gently, his teary eyes looking into yours lovingly, but also full of guilt.

“You didn’t believe me when I said I loved you.” your bottom lip trembled.

Az stroked your hair gently. “I’m so sorry I didn’t belive you. I love you so so much, my mate” he cried out. He kept touching all over your face, as if trying to make sure you were really there.

“I love you” he said again, pushing a soft kiss on your lips. You kissed him back more passionately. “I love you, I love you” he kept repeating like a prayer in between the kisses. Grabbing you, holding onto you, scared you’ll slip away again.

“Az i’m… I feel dizzy and my leg… it hurts…” you suddenly whined, pointing at your body. You were severely hurt, Azriel remembered again. Your eyes were lidded and you were pale.

“Shit. Shit, shit.” he started panicking again. “Rhys, we need a healer, immediately” he cried out.

—

You’ve been unconscious for a day, mostly because of the pain killers. Az didn’t leave your bed all day, holding your hand and waiting for you to wake up. He was flooded by guilt and disgust towards himself. Don’t blame yourself, brother, you couldn’t know, Cassian had said. But he should have known. His beautiful, sweet girl. You would never do this.

Azriel was shaken from his thoughts when he heard you moan next to him. He grabbed your hands tighter. “Azzie” you mumbled.

“Hey baby, hey, I’m here” he reassured you.

A soft smile appeared on your lips, making his heart melt. You squeezed his hand back reassuringly.

“A-are you, are you still mad?” you whined, opening your eyes slowly.

“Ofcourse not baby, no, no, don’t ever think that. I’m the one at fault” Azriel whispered, his hands stroking your soft locks, trying to comfort you.

“I should’ve told you. My plans about the spying.” you answered sadly. “Don’t worry about that now, it’s all over now, you’re safe, we’re okay” he smiled.

It was silent for a moment, you only looked into each others eyes. You patted the empty spot on the bed, signaling him to come lay next to you. Azriel gave in, wrapping his arm and wing around you protectively. You laid your head on his chest and he placed a loving kiss in your hair.

“I’ve hurt you. You were scared of me. I can’t believe I did that. I was so rough with you.” he whispered sadly, trying to hide the upcomming panick.

“I forgive you, baby, I really do. I get why you did it.” you mumbled, almost falling asleep again because of the comfort and warmth of his body wrapped around you.

“I’ll never do it again. I’ll trust you more from now on.” he promised.

“My love, you already trust me enough. I noticed how you held back, how you still cared for me. Even though it was a worst-case scenario. Our love still conquered it all” you sighed, eyes falling closed.

“You noticed?” he muttered.

But you didn’t answer, he carefully looked down to see you asleep.

“Sleep well my dear, I’m here to protect you.” he whispered, kissing your forehead, before he fell asleep too.

—

[aajjks]

Debt (m)

synopsis. you’re so unlucky that he’s lucky.

warnings. yändērē, sädïstïc bëhävïöür, öbsëssîvë thoughts, öbsëssïön, hê ïs sö ËVÏL, ünhëälthy rëlätïönshïp, yändêrê jk 10x, mäfïä köök, mëntïöns öf kïdnäppïng.

note. HAPPY KNJ DAY! send asks? ENJOY!

“Aren’t you tired of fucking crying all the damn time?”

His words pierce you, how can he be so insensitive to you? He kidnapped you, of course he doesn’t care about your emotions.

He never did.

That’s why you left him.

You only sob harder and don’t look at him, what is the point? His face is the only thing you get to see these days, you feel like you’ll go insane.

“What e-else can I do! P-Please let me go..” your body temperature is burning, you sit on the dirty floor, your clothes are dirty, your heads hurts but this man doesn’t care.

He’s cruel, you hate him.

“Yn. I won’t let you go. So stop fuckin crying, it’s starting to annoy me.” Jungkook groans, you push your head deeper into your lap, he frustrates you to no end, if only you could kill him so you could leave.

“I hate you! I’ll never love you!”

“Do you honestly think that I give a fuck about that? Baby you should know me better.” He tsks, you want to scream from frustration but you can’t.

Because you’re too numb.

“Yn are you seriously that dumb? Huh? Really?” This man makes you want to pull your hair out of your skull, you want to die.

“Yes! I was dumb enough to love you once!”

He tsks again, you roll your eyes as you turn your head in his direction, tilting your body, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Jungkook, sincerely fuck you.”

“Oh but you have, so many times, remember?” He smirks, locking his eyes with yours, you want to wipe that smirk off his face, but you don’t have the energy.

He’s too strong for you.

“We broke up jungkook, get over it. You never deserved me, you lying asshole!” His eyebrows furrow in amusement, you’re entertaining him, oh he’s so sick.

“You broke up with me, baby I never did so it’s not over until I decide it is.” He folds his arms, the tattoos so visible, he’s sitting on that chair so comfortably while you’re on the cold hard ground.

“And you even had the audacity to try to replace me in your life, it makes me laugh at how you think I can be replaced, baby.” You notice him grit his teeth.

Oh now he’s the one that’s getting frustrated?

You want to laugh, he is such a narcissistic person, he thinks he’s so special to you, he was, once. But not anymore.

“What’s his name? Kim Namjoon, eh?”

You scoff, “what a fuckin stalker you are, Jungkook.”

“Of course. You are mine. I kept my eye on you every single day. My men did some digging and guess what, turns out that your boyfriend is in debt.”

“I know everything yn.”

He stands up, while you gasp in shock. You watch him walk towards you, his black shiny shoes hit the surface, his eyes never leave yours for a minute.

“W-What?! You’re a liar, why would you think that I’d believe you?”

He leans down infront of you, matching your level, “I never lie when it comes to you yn.” He looks at you with intensity. “You know that.”

“So, him and I had a little conversation. I approached him of course. And… let’s just say, you are a very unlucky woman in love.”

You feel tears well up in your eyes.

“But I’m lucky, guess what baby. We had a deal. I offered him humbly to clear up his debt and… in return for my favour to him…”

You don’t like this at all, you know this expression of his soul too well, his lips curl up into a smug smile, his eyes are twinkling, yet a dark hue covers them, oh you’re so in trouble.

“I get you back, forever.”

You let out a sob, you finally let it out, Jungkook doesn’t try to comfort you, he just watches you, “n-no…”

“Oh yes baby. Looks like he sold you. And I put my price on you.”

He chuckles, a sadistic cruel bastard.

“And now you’re mine forever, baby. Forever this time.”

[gothicchildofthenight]

Dead-Bird

FEM DNI‼️ (She/her, She/they, etc.) - you’ll be blocked.

request: “hihi ! can you write rodrick x ftm reader thats just like , treated as one of the guys in rodricks friend group and has a sense of belonging , then heather outs the reader or something n rodrick stands up for them (???) im not sure where im going with this request u can interpret it however u want”

summary: moving to plainview for a fresh start while you’re transitioning. you meet rodrick heffley, resident emo, and become inseparable. what happens when heather hills gets jealous thats he’s turned all his attention on you?

descriptions: ftm!reader, intended for a black reader but can be read by any race, rodrick might be ooc (??), i made heather really mean (and homophobic 😭) but in reality i have no hate to her HER ACTRESS IS GORGINA, slur drop (f word), maybe the reader a girly kid sorry if that upsets anyone, cursing, throwing up (only happens once and i don’t think it’s detailed), let me know if i missed anything!!

a/n: yall, i know i said friday, but circumstances change (especially when baby siblings are sick asf) so i’m sorry. you’re allowed to yell at me in the comments!! BUT ITS FINALLY HERE‼️ pls let me know if you like it, and if you think i should change anything. i can always improve!!

word count: 8.29k (i got carried away 😭)

———————————————————————————-

For as long as you can remember, you knew you didn’t feel right with who you were. You wore the dresses, the skirts, joined the girls line when you were split off and you were ok with it, but it never felt right. You wanted to get your hands dirty, skin your knee, and you could do all of that with the girls, but you wanted to do it with the boys.

Your parents seemed to acknowledge this and your family just labeled you a tomboy. It wasn’t until your last year of middle school that you realized who you were, what you were. You were a boy, you were trans.

After going back and forth with yourself, you go to your parents with tears streaming down your face. With the way you and your parents were raised, it didn’t seem like they were going to be accepting.

“Are you done blubbering?” Your mom had asked you, which made you cry even more because you didn’t know if that could be good or bad. “We knew this could be a possibility with you just wanting to be with little boys.”

“Just because your grandparents have a skewed perspective on gender doesn’t mean we do.” Your dad joined in with a hand on your shoulder.

And with that started your transition journey. First with therapy, then doctor visits, and finally testosterone. When you started taking testosterone (end of sophomore year), you and your parents moved to give you a fresh start. With their careers, they could work anywhere as long as they could travel.

Plainview was just that, plain, but it got the job done so you can lay low. You couldn’t even point it out on a map, but it seemed like a great place to get a fresh start. Family homes, mom and pop shops, and maybe 6 schools around. No one knows you, seeing as you moved almost cross-country, so perfect.

Your first day wasn’t anything like you imagined. You thought you would be clocked immediately, especially since in the rush to move and get enrolled in school you had forgotten to get your haircut. You lucked out though, because the only reason someone (besides a teacher) came to talk to you was because of your Pearl Jam shirt.

That was the day you met Rodrick Heffley, resident “bad boy” with a band that wasn’t shit (you could say that seeing as you were in it) and a taste for rock and metal. That’s who came to talk about your shirt.

“You listen to Pearl Jam?” He asked, and you were immediately on the defense.

You knew you didn’t exactly look the part of emo metalhead, you had heard it your whole life growing up. “Listen to your normal music,” was a common one, and you won’t lie, it hurt. Especially from the popular white kids because it was just another tally mark against you.

“Yes? What about it?” You snapped.

“Woah, didn’t know I touched a nerve,” his face had reddened a little, but besides that it didn't change. “I was just gonna ask your favorite song.”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “I like Why Go from the Ten album.”

“Cool, cool, that’s a good one.” And then you both just stood there staring at each other. “Do you want to come over to my house after school?”

“I don’t even know you, kid,” you chuckled, “what are you, a kindergartener?”

“Well excuse me for trying to be nice.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m Rodrick.”

He held out his hand, which you hesitantly shook. “I’m (Y/N).”

“So are you coming over or what?”

And just like that he became one of the most important people in your life– along with his best friends; Drew, Ward, Chris, and Ben. Present day, you are never without Rodrick, and he, you. It doesn’t take a lot to convince the other to do something you probably shouldn’t, which leads to you guys getting in trouble a lot.

Like how one time towards the end of junior year in the middle of the night, Rodrick and you snuck out for a carnival almost 2 hours away. You had been relaxing at home, reading, when you heard little tinks coming from your window. You knew it was Rodrick throwing rocks at your window. He always did that when he’d sneak out of his house to come to yours.

“What the hell do you want?” You jokingly whisper-yelled as you opened your window.

“Come to a fair with me!” He whispered back.

“Last time I checked, the summer fair didn’t come until after school ended?”

“Because it’s not the one in Plainview, it’s the one in Huntington! Just come on!” He groans.

“First of all, I’m in pajamas!” You motioned up and down yourself. “Second of all, that’s almost two hours away!”

“So what, you’ve snuck out with me before! What makes this time any different? Come on, (Y/N), live a little!”

“Fuck it, fine!” and you closed your window to change. Your parents were long gone asleep, so you doubt they’d check on you, meaning you were in the clear.

You settled on baggy pants and a short sleeve, which is what you almost always wear, before you jumped out your window (you were on the second floor, yea, but your house wasn’t that big so it wasn’t a huge jump). Rodrick was waiting in his van, so you climbed into the passenger seat and set off.

You took a mini nap on the way, but after you woke up, you guys didn't shut up. From school to new albums, you talked about it all. You guys always were like this, (still were) even though at this point you’d only known each other a couple months. It scared you a little, how close you two had gotten in such a little period of time, mainly because you don’t want him to drop you because of who you were before.

“We’re here!” He pulled into a parking spot. You both climbed out of the van and met in front of it. “You brought your wallet, right?”

“Hanging with you? Of course not.” You deadpanned, before pulling out your wallet with a smile. “Why would I go to a fair without my wallet?”

He just rolled his eyes, slung his arm around your neck and walked to the ticket booth. Once in the fair, you guys set a plan to leave around 2:00 so you can get back in time for school.

You run around together, ride to ride, concession stand every chance you can get, and then barfing into a trash can. “I will never sneak out with you again.”

“Sure, ok,” Rodrick scoffed. “Come on, I want to ride the ferris wheel before going home!”

“Sure,” you rolled your eyes as you wiped your mouth, “just let me finish tossing my organs into this dumpster.”

“Let's go, smart ass.”

Surprisingly, there wasn’t a long line for the wheel. You’re on it in 5 minutes, and at the top in another 5.

“Told you it was worth it.” Rodrick teased as you looked out to the neon fair lights.

“Yea, yea, whatever,” you mumbled, too busy looking out at the eye widening view.

There’s a moment of silence. “Y’know, I’m glad we met each other.”

“Ew, don’t get all sentimental on me. Especially on a ferris wheel, that's just cringey.” You joke.

“I’m being serious!” He sighs. “Like I love the band, but I think me and you got closer in the span of a few months than me and them since middle school. It’s crazy.”

“Yea, sure, ok, dude,” you look back out to the lights. You couldn’t look him in the eyes because you had this warm feeling in your gut that you couldn’t place.

Rodrick doesn’t allow you to, though, as he grabs your face in one hand to make you look at him. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I want you to say it,” he stares into your eyes, seeming to search for something.

“Say what, jackass?” You feel your face catch on fire in the dark of the night.

“That I’m your best friend.” He looks so serious, and his eyes never leave yours.

“You’re my best friend,” you roll your eyes with a grin, “can you let me go now?”

“We’ll work on it.” He pats the side of your face and then faces the lights outside the wheel.

When you're both off the ferris wheel, you’re headed back home. The car ride home was silent, you in your own head and Rodrick seemed tired. You offered for him to stay over and sleep until school starts, but he declines, knowing his parents will wake him up in the morning.

You pull up to your house but just sit there for a second. “It was a bunch of fun, as always. Til we sneak out again.”

“See ya,” he smiles and lightly punches your shoulder.

“See ya, dude,” and you head to your house.

When you see him pull off, you lightly close your front door. As you turn around, your soul leaves your body.

“I don’t even want to know,” your mom holds her hand up to silence you. “Phone, now.”

You sigh, but do it.

It seemed that’s what happened with Rodrick, too, so for the rest of the school year you and Rodrick could only contact each other at school. He still snuck over, that wasn't going to stop.

You don’t regret leaving with him that night, because you had never had someone willingly be that close to you.

—

Currently, you’re all huddled up in the hot attic that is his room, but it was the only place without younger kids so you don’t complain much.

“Dude, I thought this year was gonna be it!” Rodrick complains as he lays upside down on his bed.

“Oh, it’s gonna be it, alright,” Ben rolls his eyes and throws a paper ball in Rodricks direction. “It’s going to be the year I finally strangle you if you mention Heather Hills one more time.” We all chuckle at how true it was.

Right now, he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Heather Hills. Even though you had come in the middle of junior year, it was quick knowledge that he had a crush on her since middle school. At first it was cute, but after some unforeseen circumstances, you actually hated hearing her name. It wasn’t like you had a crush on him (It was), but the fact that she didn’t give him the time of day, and even when she did it was just to make fun of him or to have him do something.

“I second that, it’s fucking annoying,” you push him off the bed, seeing as you were on it right next to him.

“Ow, you dick!” he sits up and rubs his head.

“We’re, like, four months from graduating, if she wanted you, she would’ve said it.”

“Yea but-” Ward cuts him off.

“But nothing, bro, she don’t want your ass.”

It’s what you’ve been telling him this whole time, but you didn’t want to be too pressed about it because you didn’t want him to think you like her. You didn’t like her, you liked the one who liked her. You hadn’t realized it until you saw Heather sweetening him up one time and it hurt to watch– and not in a disgusted way.

You had no idea about your sexuality, you knew you liked boys even before you transitioned, but as you became more comfortable with yourself girls weren’t so bad either. You had been on a few dates with mostly girls (there weren’t many out guys in a small town, who knew?), but no one was Rodrick.

“I mean, I know, subconsciously,” he points to his head, “but she has this way of being in your head, no matter how mean she is.”

“Blah blah blah, bruh we don’t caaaarreee!” You roll your eyes and fall back on his bed. “She’s probably going to, like, Harvard or some shit and gonna marry rich. She doesn’t have time for loser guys like ourselves unless we can do something for her. It’s been that way since middle school, and it’ll be that way til the end of time”

“Major harsh, dude,” Drew pipes up.

“Whatever,” You get up and grab your backpack. “I’m going home, see you bozos tomorrow.”

You know why it bothers you so much, but you didn’t think you went that far. Hell, even Ward said something, but you were the one who was being “major harsh”? You roll your eyes as you stomp off to your house.

“Major harsh, my ass,” you murmur to yourself.

—

Tomorrow comes faster than you’d like. It wasn’t like you blew up on the guys, but you were pissed that you had been shut down. You kind of wanted to avoid them and go straight to class, but when you exit your house you see Rodricks van. The ride to school was pretty quiet except for the “good morning,” you all exchanged amongst yourselves.

“You were right,” Rodrick nudges you. When you give him a confused look, he goes on, “Heather is never gonna want me, and I’m taking myself off the market for other babes.”

“Oh, all those poor girls, saved,” you chuckle. Now you kind of feel bad, “but seriously, my bad if I went too far with what I was saying. I don’t have an excuse for what I said, but I am sorry.”

“Nah, I needed that good kick in the ass so I could wake up. Thanks, bro.” He playfully punches your shoulder.

“No problem, bro.”

As we pull up to school, you see Heather and her friends around their red convertible bug. You didn’t know whose it was, it was passed around more than a blunt in your group. Every morning they were there, and every morning Rodrick went to talk to them, talk to her, like clockwork.

“So are we skipping today, boys?” Rodrick suggests.

In a unison of ‘Hell Yea’s, you were the voice of reason. “Fuck no.”

They all groan, as they usually do when you’re right. We’re walking away from the van as you explain, “Y’all don’t have enough brain cells or credits to afford to skip. If yall want to blow this place, ya gotta graduate. You don’t even have to have honors.”

“Whatever, nerd,” Rodrick shoves you with a chuckle. “You can be a suck up and stay all day, but we’re outta here.”

“You can suck up on my balls, jackass,” you laugh and shove him back.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” he shoves back.

“You’d love that!” but you don’t push him, you look in front of you.

You expected to see the red car, but you saw the stairs. You had passed the car?

You look behind you, and you still see the group talking about someone cheating on someone’s boyfriend, but you notice Heather Hills looking at you.

This wasn’t the first time Rodrick had ignored Heather for you, but that was at lunch. He always talked to her in the morning. You don’t know why, but you knew that this was her last straw.

When you had first moved here, you weren’t on her radar until you had talked to him. She was just standing off to the side and you didn’t realize it then, but he was just talking to her and stopped to talk to you. You could feel her glare, but when you looked at her she gave you a sugary sweet smile. That wasn’t the last time you would see that fake smile, but after this morning you knew it would be.

—

“I don’t know what you told him, but you need to untell him.”

The voice wasn’t unfamiliar to you, but you weren’t used to it being directed at you.

“Hi, Heather, how are you on this beautiful day?” You smile at her, though it was probably closer to a grimace.

“Cut the shit, you heard me.” She growls as you put your stuff in your locker.

“Why does it have to be me saying anything to him? Maybe he actually grew some balls and a brain.”

“You’re like a lost puppy around him, of course you said something.”

“Well, Heather,” you huff as you drop your bag and face her, “he used to follow you around like a lost puppy and I got sick of it because you were using him. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but it did, so I told him that.”

“I know why,” she leans closer to your face with a whisper. “It’s because you’re a gay little bitch who hopes he looks in your direction but he wouldn’t even spit near you. I see how you look at him, but just remember he looks at me like that.”

“Ok,” you roll your eyes. “Why do you care so much? You admitted several times that you don’t like him.”

“He needs to like me, not the other way around. It gives other guys the idea that they can be with me and I can get gifts out of it. So if you don’t fix this, I can get so much dirt on you it’d make your head spin.”

“I think the bleach fumes are finally getting to your brain,” you scoff, trying not to seem nervous. You didn’t think that she could get to your secret, but that bitch has power in high places. But you had come so far without being outed, so you didn’t think it’d happen this close to your escape. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not gonna do that because you’re a bitch who doesn’t deserve any attention.”

She slams your locker in your face, “You’ll regret that.” And as she walks away you roll your eyes and mumble a “bitch”.

She doesn’t even want him, but I can’t have him? Whatever, bitch.

—

You decided to keep your little interaction from Rodrick and the gang because you knew it’d open up a) what she could find on you and b) did Heather actually like Rodrick and she’s lying? You just let them lead the conversation as you try to rationalize with yourself.

How would she find out your trans? You’ve been stealth for a year and your school medical records are locked up tight. She can’t out anything but you being gay and even that was a little chest tightening. At least you’ll still be a man, even if it was a gay one. Being outed as trans could shatter people’s perception of you and you’ll be that weird “girl” again.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Rodrick asks you and you realize you’re the only two in the van now.

“Nothing, just exhausted. I need to be asleep right now,” you pretend to rub your eyes.

“Whatever you say, dude,” he sighs, but puts his hand on your shoulder and looks you in the eyes. “I’m here whenever you wanna talk, you seem to have a lot on your mind.”

It makes you freeze. It’s not like he isn’t always like this, he’s your best friend, but it doesn’t help after your conversation with Heather. He does this with every guy in the group, he may put on a front of being a dick to his brother, Greg, but he really cares for his friends. You have to convince yourself that this was just that, nothing more.

“Eyes on the road, weirdo,” you shrug his arm off with a nervous laugh. “I told you I was fine, I’m just tired.”

“Ok, dude,” he rolls his eyes.

Before you know it, he drops the rest of the guys off at their houses. You’re usually the last one to get dropped off since more often than not you’re the first one to be picked up. But when Rodrick passes your house, you have more than a few questions.

“Where the hell are you taking me?” You sigh.

“Obviously you won’t tell me what’s actually wrong, so we’re going to hang out til that frown turns upside down!” He smiles as he passes his house, too.

“How did I become friends with such a cornball? Aren’t you supposed to be the resident bad boy, go back to that.”

“You know you love me,” he smirks.

More than you know, that’s the reason I’m in this mess! You almost say, but stick with, “Sure, whatever you say.”

You know exactly what he’s going to do, you guys do it every time one of y’all are going through it. Head to the gas station to get slushies and snacks, then go out to your favorite clearing in the woods. He even does it with Greg sometimes, even though he likes to act like he hates his younger brothers.

“Isn’t the point of a slushy to mix all of the flavors together?” Rodrick rolls his eyes.

“We have this conversation every time we come here, I get two flavors that compliment each other! All of those flavors confuse your mouth and you lose taste buds.”

“You lie just like my mother, which means you lie like shit.” And for that you slap his shoulder. “OW!”

“Don’t talk about Susan like that!” You say, jokingly offended. You go to hit him again, but he grabs your hand.

“You’re a fucking nut case.”

“OMG!” You hear an all too familiar voice excitedly yelp. “I thought I heard your voice!”

“Oh, hey Heather.” Rodick turns to talk to her, forgetting to let go of your hand. “What are you doing in here?”

“My friends wanted to stop in here to get some junk.” She waves her hand behind her and rolls her eyes. “I obviously don’t eat stuff like that, I mean, look at me.” Rodrick doesn’t even glance down when she motions at herself.

“Good for you, me and (Y/N) are actually in here for some snacks, too.”

She finally looks at you, and then at you and Rodricks combined hands. You squirm under her stare and take your hand out of Rodricks. He looks at you in seeming confusion, but doesn’t say anything.

“I didn’t see you there, hey (Y/N)!” She has a smile on her face, but you can see in her eyes the amount of hatred she has for you.

“Hey, Heather…” You almost whisper, and then turn to seem busy with your slushy.

“Well, we should get out of here, bye Heather.”

“Oh, yeah, I think my friends went back to the car, so I should head out, too.” She turns to leave, but looks back over her shoulder and waves seductively. “Bye, Rodrick!”

When you hear the front door bell ring, you finally release the breath you had been holding in. “Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself.

“What was that?” Rodrick turns to you with a smile and points behind him. “She’s never willingly came up to me unless she needs something. And she just wanted…conversation?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” You paint on a smirk even though your heart is racing. She had seen you with Rodrick, holding hands (completely his fault!), and he couldn’t be any less interested in her! You just know your fate is sealed.

“Well, let’s get this shit paid for and go.” He grabs up your food and you grab the slushies.

With everything paid for, you guys hop back into the van and head into the trail a few blocks down. It wasn’t anything official, but you hadn’t gotten in trouble for being out here, so yall just kept going.

You park the van and head into the back, opening the doors for some fresh air.

“So are you ready to tell me what’s up?” Rodrick asks after a few sips of his slushy abomination.

“I told you that I’m just exhausted.” You keep up your front.

“And I told you that you lie like my mom,” he sighs. “So you might as well just spill it.”

“It’s just something that me and my family have to deal with, you don’t have to worry about it!” You know if you bring your family into it, he’ll stop pushing it because he knows your parents don’t play.

“Ok, ok, I’ll let it go.” He raises his hand in defense.

You don’t respond, and you guys are submerged into silence once again. You exchange looks when you don’t think the other is looking, but besides that you take in the forest around you.

Heather could never experience these moments with Rodrick and understand how precious it is. Rodrick has always been the weird “bad boy” (people literally only say this because of his clothes and that makes you roll your eyes) who some of the girls wanted but if it got out they did like him, they’d be made fun of. You see how some of the girls look at him when he isn’t looking, and it hurts your heart. You know they have more of a chance than you ever would.

But with you, he was never like this. He was the goofy, caring friend who’d drop everything if you said the word. Heather only sees him as an object that gives her affection, but you see him as he truly is; a guy who loves and just wants it back. He just wants to be seen.

“Y’know you’re my best friend, right?” You blurt before you can think about it.

“Only took you a year to be genuine about it,” he nudges your shoulder.

“What?”

“The ferris wheel.” He states like you’re just supposed to know. And you do.

“You still remember that?” You gape.

“Anyway, yes I am your best friend, just like how you’re mine.” He grins at you, and then he drops it, “you’re not planning anything are you?”

“Oh my god, a guy can’t express his appreciation for his best friend?” You throw your hands up.

“I’m watching you,” he squints his eyes and points at you.

You get a text from your mom wondering where you are, and that’s the end of your little outing with Rodrick.

When he drops you home, Heather is the furthest thing from your mind, even though you know holding Rodricks hand (even though it wasn’t even purposely!) would be a slight against you.

—

Over the next two weeks, Heather's empty threat went to the back burner of your mind. If she wanted to out you, it would’ve happened by now. I’m safe, you sighed in relief.

Rodrick continued not to go up to her in the morning, but if she talked to him he definitely talked back. It seemed to calm her attitude toward you now, but it still was a hot seat around her. Like now, she’s passing around flyers for her party this weekend and intentionally passed by you.

“Rodrick, you’re definitely coming to my party this weekend, right?” She bats her eyelashes. “I need your band Soiled Diper to play!”

“It’s Löded Diper,” you correct and she glares at you, “and when have you ever wanted us to play anywhere near you?”

“Us?” She scoffs at you. “I just want the main band, not some wannabe.”

“Woah,” Rodrick stops her. “(Y/N) is an actual part of the band, so no him, no band.”

“Him? If that’s what you wanna say, sure.” And to the untrained ear it could just be her upset that he isn’t going along to exclude you, but you know what she means. As you perk up and look in her eyes, she’s already looking at you with a knowing smirk.

She knows. FUCK how does she know?

“I’m fine with not going, Rod,” you try to sway him. This cannot be fucking happening.

“No, it’s either all of us or none of us.”

Of course now he wants to be a fucking hero right now. He doesn’t get that this is social suicide FOR ME! Social homicide? Not important right now.

“Ok,” she has that sugary sweet fake smile. “Don’t come, then. Remember what I said.”

That last part was for you, you know it, and your blood runs cold. Fuck.

The rest of the day you’re on the edge of your seat, thinking what she might do. How the fuck did she even find out? You weren’t on social media much pre-transition, so barely any photos of you before exist. And like you said, your medical records were locked up tight.

Whatever, you try to convince yourself. She won’t do anything! She would’ve already.

You make it home with no one running around talking about your biggest secret, so your anxiety has allowed you to breathe again.

You decide to finally talk to your mom about this because who else will understand?

“You’re right to be afraid, but you’re also right about her doing it when she finally found something on you.” Your mom rubs your hair as you lay in her lap.

“It’s like I can’t get into her mind and I seriously want to. Like what is she planning?” Your thoughts literally won’t shut up. You haven’t had to worry about stuff like this for close to 2 years, and now its like your whole world is about to collapse

“For her sake, I hope nothing because I’m not above beating a little girl's ass!” And you know she’s being for real. Your mom doesn’t play around.

“Mom,” you roll your eyes.

“So, she thinks you like Rodrick…What’s up with that?”

“You know the answer if you’re asking,” you sigh.

“Do you want any advice on that? I say you should go for it.” Your mom shrugs.

“Absolutely not, because if this does come out I don’t want him weirded out by me being trans and gay.” You don’t even know if you are gay gay, but you know it’d make you that if you ask him out.

“I think you’re safe, but if something does blow, I’m in your corner.” She holds up her fist playfully to show it.

“Thank you, Mom.” You finally felt at peace with the whole thing. You trust your mom and feel like it will all blow over.

If only you knew.

The next morning, you walk with a pep in your step. You decide to walk to school, texting Rodrick you didn’t need a ride. It took a little longer to walk than drive, so you knew they’d beat you there.

When you finally showed up, people were staring at you, but it didn’t bother you much. People looked at you and the gang weirdly all the time, it just happened. It was when you finally made your way inside that all hell broke loose.

Random whispers were rampant through the hall, but when you walked by it would stop. Whatever, they were probably just talking about what you were wearing like always. You shrugged and went to find the guys.

You were right in front of them in the cafeteria and about to speak when that sugary voice stopped you, “Hey, [Redacted]!” It exclaimed.

You could’ve thrown up right then and there. You whip around to face Heather, “What the hell did you just call me?”

“Should I tell her or are you guys going to be good friends?”

“Guys, what is she talking about?” You turn to them and the look on their faces say it all.

They Know. Everyone knows.

Ben turns his phone around and you have to will yourself to not spill your breakfast out onto the concrete. It’s a screenshot from one of your parents' private Facebooks from two or three years ago with a title that stated your deadname.

The “girl” in the picture was going to homecoming, and it was obvious that it was you. Your face was softer, caked with makeup, and your hair was longer. The caption had your name and said that you were indeed going to homecoming.

“This picture was private, how the fuck?” You were whispering to yourself. You’re frozen in place, you can’t look anywhere but Ben’s phone.

“How could you hide this from your friends?” Heather fake gasps. “Pretending to be a boy? Going into the boys bathroom and locker room? What a freak!” and her whole group laughs. When you didn’t respond, she kept going, “Like, can you guys believe it? She’s pretending to be a boy to get close to you, and I even heard she had a little crush on one of you!”

That made you bark out a sob. Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy-

“It’s crazy! Right, Rodrick?” and that snaps you out of it.

You glance at him, and he looks angry. Probably at you for lying to him. You darted away, looking for an exit because all you can think about is going home. You hear your name called after you, but you don’t care.

—

“What the hell are you doing home? Classes literally just started.” Your mom asks as she’s cuddled up with your dad. You don’t answer her, and just run up to your room, sobbing.

“Woah, woah woah, hey!” They get up to go after you.

When you get to your room, you don’t close your door knowing they’re after you. You shut your phone down and just throw yourself onto your bed, trying to stop your tears.

“Son, what’s wrong? What happened at school?” My dad knocks on the open door.

“Heather Hills,” you say through your pillow. Even if your dad didn’t get it, your mom did.

“She didn’t…”

“She did though, Mom!” You cry out, turning to face them. “She outed me to the whole school! She somehow found one of your Facebooks, got into it and found an old picture of me going to homecoming, and she shared it with the whole school!”

“Are you serious?” Your dad balls up his fist.

“Not only that, but she said that I was pretending to be a guy! Said I was doing it to get close to Rodrick, basically told him I liked him, and made me seem like this big ass weirdo!”

“We need to do something about this,” your mom says, and she sounds pissed. “This has to be some sort of harassment!”

“Your mother is right, we need to contact the school-”

“NO, please,” you start. “What’s done is done, I don’t want this bigger than it is!”

“(Y/N)!-”

“Mom, please listen to me!” You’re exasperated at this point. “Heather has the whole school behind her. Her parents are RICH, so if we try to do anything, it’ll just make everything worse!”

“I don’t give a fuck about her parents! She hurt my baby and she needs to be held accountable!”

“I don’t want to be in the middle of any more drama!” You groan. “I just want to figure this out quietly and on my own. I don’t want to talk to anyone about it and I just want to be left alone!”

“Ok, ok,” your dad sighs and puts a hand on your head. “If that’s what you want, we won’t push it,” he turns to your mom, “won’t we?”

“Yea, I guess,” she rolls her eyes, but gives a weak smile. “But at any point you need any help or she does anything else, we’re in your corner.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Get some rest, son,” your dad pats your shoulder. “You look like you need it.”

“I’ll try.”

But you knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep. You avoid your phone because you didn’t want to be contacted by anyone, but especially Rodrick. You didn’t want to know his disgust with you, didn’t want to know how much he thought that Heather was right.

Without the distraction of your phone, your room and the house was too quiet. You could hear your parents downstairs, trying not to be angry about your situation and watching television. Your mind keeps replaying you looking at Ben’s phone, ears ringing in anger and worry. You’re so horrified, afraid you’ve lost all of your friends. You were supposed to graduate without anyone finding out. What was the point of a fresh start if you were just gonna have to deal with all that you wanted to avoid at your old home?

You hear someone knock on your front door, and even being that far away from it you heard Rodricks voice. This time you can’t stop your stomach from lurching and you run to the bathroom.

As you flush the toilet, you hear the door close and footsteps up the stairs. That makes you pray on the bathroom floor to anything that could hear you to not make you talk to him yet.

“Hey, baby, you alright?” Your mom’s voice fills you with relief and seems to calm your stomach.

“No,” you say truthfully. You didn’t feel like lying right now, “I feel like everything is over for me.”

“You heard him, didn’t you?”

“Not what he said, but I heard his voice,” you admit.

“Then I think you should answer your phone.” And with that, she leads you back to your room, kisses your forehead, and goes back downstairs.

—

You don’t turn your phone back on until the next day. You still felt sick, and no matter how much you tried to eat you just couldn’t. You stayed home from school and your parents didn’t argue, but they still had to go out for work. Not a full trip, but they had to go to the next town over.

You had less messages than you thought you would, but it’s still crazy. Drew, Ward, Chris, Ben, and even Bill messaged you, but you didn’t care about all of them because one name caught your eye. Rodrick.

It was four messages; are you home??, answer me!, i’m coming over. were the first three, but the last message was a video.

It starts staring at the floor, and then it’s pointed to a group of people. You can make out you, the gang, and Heather behind you. You take off running, but the recording doesn’t stop there.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Rodrick stands up and gets in Heather's face.

“What?” she laughs in disbelief.

“You heard what I said!”

“Are you seriously defending her over me? I thought you liked me?!” You can hear the fakeness in her voice.

“That was before you decided to spread lies about my friend! He has done nothing to you!” the emphasis on the “he” makes your eyes widen. “You’re gonna stop talking shit about my best friend to my face! You’re such a fake bitch! I don’t know how I ever liked you…”

“Don’t tell me you’re seriously picking her over me? You must be more homo than her to like that wannabe boy.”

“Are you fucking serious?” The rest of the guys pipe up and start to surround Heather.

“He is a guy, and if you think anything other than it, you must be stupider than I thought,” Ben steps up.

“And so what if I like him? Just know I don’t like you, not anymore.” Rodrick is the angriest you’ve ever seen him, it’s kind of hot scary.

“Whatever, you’re all just losers. Lets go,” she turns and walks off with her crew.

That’s where the video ends.

You couldn’t stop rewatching it in amazement. He had stood up to Heather Hills for you without hesitation. Had said he liked you to Heather Hills. To basically the entire school, if this video has already gone around.

You debate whether or not you wanted to talk to him, but your need for your best friend wins over your need to hide. You slip on your shoes and head out.

You live a little over 5 minutes away from Rodrick even though he drives you guys everywhere. You know you could’ve told him to come over to your house, but it’s nice to finally get some fresh air. Plus, his mom was always nice to see when you went over his house.

When you get there, you see his van parked in the driveway near the garage. You have to hype yourself up to knock on the front door, but once you do it’s like a wave of nausea comes crashing over you.

I can’t do this, oh my god. What have I-

Before you can finish your thoughts, the door opens. You half expect it to be Rodrick, but it’s just Greg.

“Hey, kid.” You do a little wave as if you haven’t met him before. Whenever you come over, you tend to see Greg and Rowley, too. Most of the time they’re just in the living room, but they sometimes come up to the attic just to get chewed out by Rodrick, especially when it’s just you two up there.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he smiles, “where’ve you been?”

“Yknow.” You wring your hands. “Around.”

You can barely get words out. Does Greg know? Did Rodrick tell his family about what his best friend is?

“Rodrick should be upstairs in his room.” Greg moves out of the way so you can step into the house. “He’s been moping up there since yesterday, I don’t even think he’s left it today.”

“He didn’t go to school?” It’s not surprising, he’s always skipping, but you know it’s because of what went down yesterday.

“Nope,” Greg shakes his head. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you guys, because he only acts like this when he can’t see you, but I think you guys will work it out. It’s like me and Rowley, just less romantical.”

“W-what-” you sputter out. “I don’t-”

“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself.” Greg cuts you off with an eye roll. “Like I said, he’s upstairs.”

“Thanks, kid.” Your face is on fire.

And with that, you mount the stairs to the attic. Is your crush on Rodrick really that obvious that even his family can see it? And with the way Greg was talking it seems to be reciprocated. You heard it come out of Rodrick’s own mouth, but what if he just said that so Heather could leave you alone?

You’re in front of his door before you can finish your thoughts. You knock, ready to get this over with.

“Mom, I told you I’ll be ok, just leave me alone!” You hear him call out.

“Not your mom, last time I checked.” You say, a soft smile grows on your face from hearing his voice.

You hear him leap up off of his bed and trip over something, but it doesn’t seem to phase him as he runs to open the door.

“(Y/N),” he breathes out.

“Hey,” you can barely look him in the face. “Can I come in?”

“Yea, yea, come in!” He pulls you through the door.

Once in his room, it’s like you’ve never set foot in it. You don’t know what to do, where to sit. It all feels new to you for some reason.

“Dude, just sit down somewhere.” Rodrick laughs at your newfound confusion.

You decide to sit on his bed, which you do every time you come over. You and Rodrick always sit on opposite ends of the bed so you can look at each other, which this time is no different.

You just sit there, staring at each other. You decide to break the ice. “It’s true, all of it. I don’t know how Heather got that picture, but I was a girl for most of my life up until now. Please, don’t hate me.”

“I’m not going to lie, it made me mad that I had to find out through Heather Hills,” he sighs, “but then again it’s none of my business. You were doing it to protect yourself, so I get it and I don’t have a right to be mad. I could never hate you over something like that though.”

You just sit there with your mouth open. You knew subconsciously that he couldn’t have hated you, but you had grown up hearing all the hatred people had for people like you. You had no choice to be on the defense when coming over here, no matter what you heard.

“I just-” You start. “I just, I know you’re my best friend, and I should’ve trusted you with this, but I couldn’t. I’ve never had anyone but my parents know. Their families don’t even know, that’s the whole reason we moved here.”

“Would you have ever told me?” He asks, kind of quiet.

“Maybe.” You shrug honestly. “I was too worried about trying to survive high school without a slip up to think that far ahead.”

“Oh,” is all he answers.

It’s another drowning silence. You’ve never had an awkward silence in your entire friendship, this is freaking you out.

“Did you watch the video I sent you?” Rodrick speaks up.

“Yea, it was the first thing I saw when I turned my phone back on.” Another beat of silence. “It was the only reason I came over here to talk to you.”

“Did you watch the whole thing?”

“Only a hundred times,” you smile evilly. “I love watching that barbie wannabe get put in her place.”

“Yea, that was great to do,” his voice lowers, “but that’s not what I was talking about.”

“I know.” You whisper and look him in the eyes.

You just sit there staring at each other, and then Rodrick looks down at your lips. It was so quick you could’ve missed it if you blinked, but you saw it. Just go for it.

“Are you going to kiss me, or just think about it?” You try to sound confident, but it ends up a quiet squeak.

His eyes widen, but he begins to inch over to you until you’re pressed up against each other. “Is this okay?” His whisper tickles your lips.

You just nod, eyes never leaving his. You don’t know who leans in first, but your lips are together in a flash. Your grip on his shirt is tight, as if when you let go it’ll all disappear. Your mouths almost move in unison, like you’re trying to devour the other. You can barely breath, feeling like this isn’t real. You dreamed about this moment for so long and now that it’s here it’s like you’re ascending.

You are the one who pulls away first, needing to breathe. Rodrick doesn’t seem like he wants to stop, kissing down your jaw to your neck. While you're breathing softly, you hear a knock at his door. That doesn’t stop Rodrick though.

“Rodrick,” you breath out as a warning.

“Hm,” he hums indifferently. Before you both know it, his door opens.

“Rodrick, you need to leave this- OH MY GOD!” His mother screams out.

“MOM!” Rodrick jumps away from you in fear and shock.

You’re all just stuck looking at both of them staring at each other before you break the silence.

“Hey, Ms. Susan…”

After that you are put through a lecture with his mom and dad. You guys can’t be upstairs alone without Greg being a buffer, door open at all times even with the other guys there. They, of course, texted your parents about what they found so that's gonna be fun to go home to. But you felt like none of that mattered because you got what you wanted. You didn’t lose your friends, and you even gained a boyfriend.

He offers to drive you home, which you take because you want to be close to him for a little longer. So you wave goodbye to his parents and get into the van.

You hold hands on the way to your house.

—

“We’re glad you decided to come back to school,” Rodrick squeezes your hand. “It’s been so boring.”

“First of all, I was gone one day,” you roll your eyes in fake annoyance. “And second of all, you literally didn’t even go yesterday!”

“But it’s always boring whenever I don’t get to see you, baby.” He wiggles his shoulders against yours.

All the guys groan in fake disgust. “Yall are so corny, break up already.” Ben gags.

“I didn’t even say anything!” You throw your hands up, taking one of Rodricks hands with you.

“Cringe by association.” And you roll your eyes in true annoyance.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go back?” Rodrick interrupts. “We could just go back to your house and hang out for the day.”

“I’m sure you’d love that,” you shove his arm, “but if I keep skipping, it’ll be like she won. Plus I’m not losing my straight A streak because of that bimbo.”

“Fine,” he huffs. “I can’t wait for the last day, school is so boring.”

“I thought without me it was boring?” You raise an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean.” He kisses your cheek.

“Yuck,” one of the guys laughs out behind your back.

“Shut the fuck up so we can get this day over with.” You flip them off.

You’re, of course, joking because you know you couldn’t have gone through this without them. After your talk with Rodrick, you all had a group hangout and talked through all of this. They let you know the whole time that they were 100% on your side. They were your boys and you were theirs.

Maybe the rest of the year won't be hell. You got the guy, smited the girl, and even if you were outed, you had all the friends you needed with you already. You were going to be fine.

[icejjfishesz]

007. ༺ASUNDER༻∘

a/n: okay no one yell at me for this chapter...

summary: after getting unexpectedly left by your roommate, you find yourself in need of a replacement.

contents: reader is kinda going through it, lmao. paige is still stupid. kinda angsty.

previous. next. masterlist.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

what’s more uncomfortable than waking up to a cold bed? especially when it was warm before you fell asleep? 

…no, seriously. what?

you pull yourself out of bed, groaning and feeling stupid. you fell asleep on her and she left. slipping on your house shoes, you shuffle out of your room. you walk past paige’s room, doors open and it’s empty. 

holy shit, were you snoring or something?

you grab your phone, noticing the time. it’s early. paige doesn’t wake up early on weekends if she doesn’t have to. she especially doesn’t leave the house early on a weekend if she doesn’t have to. 

you walk into the living, looking for any signs of paige in the quiet of your shared apartment. there are none. 

maybe you kick in your sleep. 

you don’t have to let your mind wander for too long before she’s waltzing in through the door, guilt ridden. she doesn’t meet your eyes and you can feel it — that abhorrent feeling that crawls underneath your skin, you can barely stomach it. it’s over. 

she meets you halfway and calls you by your name. your name. it makes your palms sweat. she hasn’t said your name since that night on the couch. but she says it now almost like it’s a mutual secret, it’s filled to the brim with shame. she says it again and the sentence that follows it is torturess. 

“olivia texted me.” 

immediately your whole mood switches. like going from hot to cold. you feel it all over and it’s all consuming. those three words are playing over and over and over again in your head. olivia. texted. me. 

“i need closure. i hate how we left things.” 

she’s apologetic and it makes you sick. she speaks carefully, as though she’s softly shutting the door on an active massacre. you can’t help but roll your eyes. maybe you should’ve expected this. okay, you definitely should’ve expected this…but it didn’t make it hurt any less. 

somehow, you wish she wasn’t looking at you so guilty. it would make it easier to stomach if she didn’t feel anything for you at all. but she does. you know she does. you can see it in her eyes when she looks at you, you can feel it on her palms when they touch you, you can hear it in her voice when she calls you baby. she just won’t admit it. and that hurts way worse. you were enough for her to care for but not enough for it to matter.

so what was the point in arguing or faking content? you’d like to think she knew you well enough to catch you in your lie anyway. so you don’t. you acquiesce. 

“good for you.” is all you say before turning on your heels and walking back to your bedroom.

you can hear her, hot on your tail as she lets herself into your bedroom. she steps into your space like she owned it all and that only frustrated you more.

“good for me?” she scoffs, it’s disbelieving and angry. she’s angry at you? you can only marvel at the audacity and it fuels your own distaste even more –– what once was smoke of annoyance is now a blazing fire of anger. “that’s it?”

“what do you want from me? do you want me to cry?” 

she flinches at the harshness in your tone but stands her ground despite herself. “i don’t know i just expected you to be more — ” heartbroken. “understanding.”

“how much more understanding could i be? it’s not like we were together or anything, you don’t need my permission to run back to her.” the words are uncomfortable on your tongue and it almost chokes you to speak them.

“i’m not running.” 

you just stare at her, trying hard to force yourself not to care about the fact that this is really over. you knew the day would come but you weren’t ready. you aren’t ready.

“just get out of my room, paige.”

and she does with a silent nod of acknowledgment. it kills you again and your eulogy is seconds long, it is the sound of your bedroom door closing.

it’s hard to ignore someone you live with. desperately humbling. you learn their schedule just so you know when you’re free to make yourself a sandwich. the living has become somewhat of an abandoned space as you and paige seem to avoid each other like some sort of disease.

sean, always caring, saw how quickly you were shutting down. you claimed you were only trying to process your emotions but he knew you better than that. 

“yeah, no…you’re not doing this.” sean pulled you out of bed before you could start rotting there. “come on, we’re going out. we can get food, see a movie…whatever but i’m not letting you sit here depressed.”

and he didn’t, you’ve been spending practically everyday with sean for the past two weeks. 

“you’re just going through the stages of grief right now.” he mumbles at you when you’re crying because you miss her. because you fell for her, hard and fast. because she left you before you had a way to land safely. 

“she didn’t die.” you sniffle and it makes sean laugh.

“you’re annoying, you know what i mean.”

and that made you smile, albeit small, but there. you wiped your tears and looked at sean, speaking in an almost defeated tone. “i think i really love her…” is all you say and it’s all you need to say. the two of you sitting in silence for a while before sean starts to take your mind of things. 

like going to a concert, which was sean’s suggestion. “yeah my roommate and his boyfriend were gonna go but they’re both sick as shit so he just gave me the tickets…”

“no way…” 

“yes way…” you can’t contain your excitement as you hug your friend and he shares your smile. 

later that night you and sean go to the concert. by the time it’s over, your voice is sore from singing all night. 

“i know this is super shitty but i’m so happy my roommate is sick.” sean sighs happily as both walk out of the building and head to the parking lot.

“seriously.” you smile. “we have to go to another concert soon.”

“don’t worry, i’ll cough on all my roommates things. he’s got a weak immune system.” 

“gross, sean.” you laugh anyway before you feel someone bump into you, the collision strong and sudden so much so that it almost knocks you off your feet.

“shit –– sorry.” 

you freeze, the voice is familiar. you turn around to confirm your suspicion and sure enough. “ellie?” 

“oh hey…” she smiles shyly at you. “it’s been a minute.”

“yeah…” you chuckle lightly, noticing the way she eyes you up and down. “how have you been?”

“no, yeah…i’ve been good.” her voice is low and raspy, just like it used to be. “i, um, i got that car i wanted so…”

“wow…new car and a concert? where’d you get the money for that?” you tease, remembering how terrible of a saver ellie was.

“dude, i actually saved for it.” she nods, looking proud of herself.

“are you sure you’re ellie?” 

“seriously, i mean…it was hard but i did it and it paid off.”

you smile. “well, i’m proud.”

“thank you, thank you.” she puts a had to her chest, the sounds of cars driving and people talking and laughing fill the night air as she stands in silence for a while. just staring at you. she looks in your eyes then at your lips then she meets your eyes again. no fucking way she just did the triangle method. 

you give sean a look and his eyes widen. “hey, it’s cold as shit. i’m gonna go to the car, just let me know when yall are done and i’ll swing back for you.” 

you go to nod but ellie speaks before you can. “no, worries, dude. i’ll get her home safe.”

sean looks at ellie and then back at you. you open up your mouth to speak, to say that it’s fine and ellie doesn’t have to take you home but sean stops you. “yeah, that’s a good idea. just text me?” he winks at you.

your jaw drops slightly as sean walks away. ellie smiles at you and you smile back shyly. “you know…i’ve been thinking about us.”

us? as in you and her? your mouth opens and shuts before you clear your throat and reply. “have you?”

“yeah…” she makes her voice slightly deeper, she’s flirting. “let me take you home…”

you pause, home? where paige is? no thank you…

“i, uh…i’m kinda arguing with my roommate right now.” you sigh, a half truth. “i’ve been staying with sean.”

“no shit, that sucks…” she bites her lip, shifting awkwardly on her feet before she clears her throat. “you can stay with me tonight.”

it’s an invitation. oh, okay. your thoughts of paige not fully subsiding but they’re muted. you know sean hasn’t left yet, he’ll be waiting to see if you text him to swing back for you. you could deny her. you should deny her. but you hesitate. maybe it’s because you missed the attention or maybe you were just tired of feeling so stuck on someone who didn’t care enough for you. maybe part of you wanted to get over paige and felt like this was the only way. 

so you don’t deny the offer. you accept with a warm smile. “yeah, i’d like that…”

[julesthequirky]

The Choice: Chapter Six

All my work is purely aimed at those 18+ so minors kindly, DNI.

Summary: You find three of your favourite characters in your home. It shouldn’t be possible, but there they are. In the flesh. How the hell did they get there? And surely there’s a way to get them back? But as you get close to each one, the thought of sending them back proves difficult to comprehend.

Characters/Pairings: Fem!Reader, Dean, Beau and Ben (Soldier Boy)

Warnings: Language, typical Soldier Boy behaviour.

W/C: 1,560

Ben sat sulking, staring out the window as you drove. A cover of a well-known song by a British girl group came on the radio. You nodded your head, fingers tapping against the wheel as you drove.

“Now, I won’t lie, I’m impartial to some Taylor Swift and some of them newer artists from time to time, but this…it’s hurtin’ my ears.”

Beau reached out to change the radio station, and without looking, you lightly smacked his hand.

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.”

You said it automatically, not even thinking about it.

Beau quirked his brows, shaking his head lightly. From the mirror, you saw Dean smirk.

“House rules…” He said quietly with a slight smile on his lips.

Ever since Dean uttered those words in the first Supernatural episode, you’d taken the motto as your own. Your ex hated it whenever you’d reprimand him for wanting to change the radio station. He got so sick of the motto he almost banned Supernatural. He hated Dean, but most of all, he hated the motto coming from your mouth. Whenever he drove, he’d try to get a rise out of you, taunting you, using the motto to his own advantage, but he’d get more pissed off when it didn’t bother you.

“Why is it so…quiet?” Ben asked, with a distasteful expression on his face.

You frowned. It wasn’t quiet. The radio was on. Then it occurred to you that he didn’t mean the sound from within the car but rather the sound under the hood.

“It’s electric.”

“Electric?!” Came from all three.

From the rearview mirror, Ben’s distaste soured.

Dean leant towards the middle console, hand on the back of Beau’s headrest. Ben barged his way forward, shoulder to shoulder with Dean.

“The fuck you mean It’s electric?!” He barked.

You sighed and rubbed your temple.

“Oh, darlin’…don’t tell me this is one of those Musk contraptions.”

Beau sounded so disappointed.

“No. No, God, no. It’s just an electric car. Not everyone wants a gas guzzler, y’know. And it’s environmentally friendly.” You added pointedly.

It wasn’t aimed as a jibe, but that’s how both Dean and Beau felt about it.

“Baby gets me anywhere I gotta be. She’s gotten me across the States and back more than I can count. I tell ya, she’ll always be more reliable than this tin can, and there’ll always be gas stations.”

You rolled your eyes. Dean would protect Baby to the ends of the earth and through different dimensions. You loved Baby, too, but his love for her went above and beyond, rivalling anyone’s love for a car.

“If Pedro heard you talking that way ‘bout him, it sure would hurt his feelings.”

Pedro was a damn truck. An inanimate object.

You steeled yourself, gritting your teeth and tightening the grip a little on the steering wheel.

“Jesus Christ…” You muttered under your breath. Men and their cars.

You steered the car into the busy mall parking lot.

“I get it. You love your cars, and being in an electric vehicle is some type of violation against your manhood or whatever, but get over it. Henrietta’s got me through thick’n’thin, and I won’t have you trash-talking her.”

Dean and Ben retreated to their seats, and Beau looked out the window. You slowed as you drove through the lot, looking for a space.

“You called yours Pedro? You gay or something?” Ben asked right out of the blue.

Beau sighed, “No, I’m not gay. And I don’t know, the truck seemed masculine, so…. Pedro….”

Ben huffed but stayed silent.

You steered the car into a spot in the mall’s huge parking lot and cut the engine. You took a breath to collect yourself.

“What kinda name’s Henrietta anyway?”

You twisted around, shooting Ben a death glare.

“Don’t you besmirch the name of my car otherwise, you’ll be walkin’ back. Got it?”

Ben smirked. “Oh, please, sweetcheeks, you wouldn’t.”

You held his stare, deadpan.

“Wouldn’t I?”

You challenged him. Daring him to rise above you. He scoffed, huffed, rolled his eyes, and mumbled, “whatever”, only to stare back out the window.

You sighed, scrubbing a hand down your face.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

*

Ben made you the most nervous as he walked through the mall with you, Beau, and Ben in his Supe suit, minus his shield. This man needed clothes and stat. Your concern was that they would be recognised, and the secret would somehow be out. What secret? That somehow, three fictional men were out in the real world. And it scared you.

But Harmony wasn’t a big city, and you didn’t know many who were as mad about Jensen Ackles as you were. Still, you couldn’t shake the angry buzzing in your belly as you white-knuckled the shopping bags.

“You alright there?” Beau nudged your shoulder gently. “Ya seem to be gripping those bags like your life depended upon it.”

You looked up. He was so earnest, so caring. Your heart squeezed in your chest.

“Maybe I should’ve left you guys at home. What if someone sees you? What if Ben’s right and people don’t believe you’re triplets? What if—”

“Woah, woah, darlin’, it’s like you said, we look more like triplets than the set down the road. It’ll work. Trust it. Just relax a little. You’re more wound up than weasel about to pop.”

He squeezed your shoulder, and the buzzing inside eased. You released a breath, relaxed your jaw, and loosened your grip on the bags.

“There ya are. Now, what’s the plan?”

Ben scratched his chin, then folded his arms over his chest.

“Just to get a few clothes. Enough for, say, a week or a couple days. I got the money. It’s no big deal, so don’t worry about it. Then we’ll go get groceries.”

“Okay, dokay.”

You ignored all the clothing stores heading to the big Walmart superstore at the back of the mall, but something must have caught Beau’s eye as he veered off into a store. Boot Barn.

“Oh, ho. Looky here.”

You grabbed Ben’s arm and steered him into the store, pressing a light hand to Dean’s back. Ben grumbled about being manhandled like a child, but you knew he would have walked off.

You saw Dean perk up at the cowboy hats on display.

Oh boy.

Ben took control of himself and mumbled something about being in “Cowboy country.”

Beau picked up a boot on display.

“Now, these are a beaut.”

“So, get them.”

He looked at you and tilted his head with a bashful smile.

“Nah, I couldn’t…”

“Why not?”

“They’re upwards of three hundred bucks, darlin’. I couldn’t take advantage of you like that.”

“Nonsense. You like ‘em, so get ‘em.”

You grabbed a box and pushed it to his chest.

“Try them on.”

You then left Beau to his own devices and went to find Dean. On your way, Ben nudged your shoulder, lowering his head to your ear.

“Hillbillies and their moral codes, amiright?”

He sniggered, and you glared at him. “Don’t be mean. He’s got more decency in his pinky finger than you’ve got in your whole body.”

Ben huffed and wrapped a hand around your arm, tight, yanking you close. The air whoosed out from your chest, and you stared at the anger directed at you. It left you speechless, even more so when he gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger, locking his intense green eyes with yours.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but I don’t appreciate being treated like a fucking child. It’s degrading as fuck. I’m a goddamned Supe. I deserve some fucking respect, so treat me how I deserve.”

His words came out in such a vicious hiss tears stung the corners of your eyes.

He dropped his hand from your chin. But he was right. He deserved the same treatment you were giving Beau and Dean. He didn’t deserve to be treated like a child.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know how to act around you. You’re a wild card, and it makes me nervous. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt from now on. I promise.”

Ben peered down, face so close to your own. You swore you could count the freckles smattering across his nose and cheekbones. His feet nudged yours as he shifted closer, his body brushing your chest.

His proximity had your heart thumping hard, banging against your ribcage. His lips spread into a sinful smirk. The air charged and fizzled.

“I do really make you nervous, don’t I?

Under your skin, your blood rushed, and your pulse quickened as he leaned closer, lips to your ear.

“If you wanna fuck me, all you gotta do is just say.”

Shock and lust slammed into you, taking the breath from you. White-hot heat bolted from your chest to your groin, sinking deep into your core, and last night’s images came flooding back. Your skin flushed, and heat rose from your neck to your cheeks.

He pulled away, chuckling lightly.

“Oh, darling, I’ll behave if you do.” He winked, with that cheeky smile on his face and walked away, leaving you stunned and horny in the middle of Boot Barn, wondering if you could get away with rushing to the restrooms for a quick skittle diddle.

Tags:

@yvonneeeee, @curlycarley, @angelbabyyy99, @sassy-pelican, @k-slla, @deans-spinster-witch, @ashdoctor, @eretsupremacy89, @fanfic-n-tabulous, @deans-number-one-fan.

[holylulusworld]

A virgin at a sex store (4) - Caring cuddler

Summary: Your great aunt bequeathed her fortune to you. Her successful store in town. Problem is – it’s a sex store and you are a virgin.

Pairing: AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: age gap (the reader is 25; Dean 34), cocky Dean, sick Dean, talk about sex, fluff, falling in love, flirting, teasing

A/N: It’s been a while…huh?

A virgin at a sex store masterlist

Catch up here: A virgin at a sex store (3) - Sweet seducer

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

“Morning, sweetheart,“ Dean waves at you when you enter the office you share. He grins and watches you sit down. “How have you … atchoo!” Dean sneezes and coughs. “Sorry.”

“Dean, are you sick?” You get up from your chair to check on Dean. He tries to pretend he’s not sick, but you won’t have it. You press the back of your hand to his forehead to check his temperature. “You’ve got a fever!”

“Yeah, for you,” he grins and grabs your waist to bring you onto his lap. Dean nuzzles his face in your neck, laughing as you squirm in his lap. “You give me fever…” 

He coughs again.

“Dean, you are sick. You need to take a few days off. Ruby can take care of the shop, and Charlie finished the website. I can call Kevin to come around to help Ruby.”

“I can’t take a day off,” he grumbles. “Let me have more coffee and I’ll be—” Dean sneezes again, wetting your neck.

“DEAN! EEK!” You mutter and slap his thigh. “You made it! Get up and follow me. I’m going to have a shower thanks to your snot on my neck and make you tea.”

Dean scrunches up his nose. “I hate tea. Give me booze and pie and I can work for hours.”

“No alcohol for you,” you hop off his lap and grab his hand to force him to get up. “Get up, Winchester. I’m going to nurse you back to life.”

He flashes you a smile. “Aw, you are going to be my sexy nurse. Tell me, will you wear a nice costume too?” Dean dips his head to look at one of the shelves. “I think we got some left. Over there.”

“No,” you jerk your head toward the door. “But I’ll get you some pie if you are a good boy and follow me home.”

He snickers. “That sounded dirty, sweetheart. I wouldn’t mind following you home, though. Just tell me what you want me to do to…atchoo!”

“You won’t do anything but lie in bed and take your medicine, Dean Winchester,” you point at the door. “Now come with me!”

“Hey, you won’t get up,” you say and push Dean back down. He huffs but allows you to cover him with another blanket. “You’re sick and have a fever. I got medicine for you. The doctor said you must drink a lot.”

“Beer? Booze?” He coughs again. “Your sweetness.”

“Water or tea,” you place the medicine and a cup of tea on the nightstand. “I know being sick sucks, but you need to take better care of yourself.”

Dean puckers his lips. “But you take good care of me. I think I’m in capable hands.” He leans back on your pillow and sighs. “You even got me pie and medicine.”

“You’re…” You sigh. Dean snuggles in your pillow, and you can’t help but smile. “I’ll get you another slice if you take the medicine and drink the tea now.”

“More pie for me.” Dean cocks a brow. “You’re not lying, right? I’ll get more pie if I take the medicine.”

“Why would I lie to you?” You turn to leave your bedroom. “I’ll get you a slice of pie and you will take the medicine. Do not try to trick me, Sir.”

“Sir?” He purrs the word. “I like it when you call me like that. Maybe you can do it more often.” Dean calls after you. “In another setting, though.”

“You’re so good to me,” Dean happily shovels the food you cooked for dinner into his mouth. He smirks as you watch him. “I took the medicine, I swear.” He sneezes and grunts. “Damnit, I hate having a cold.”

“You’ll live,” you snicker. “I will make sure of it.”

“I bet you will,” he winks at you before he shovels more food into his mouth. “You’ll nurse me back to life and I will pay you back with more than my presence.”

“How do you wanna pay me back? Can I drive your car?”

He chokes on the food. “No way! No one drives my Baby! Not even my brother.”

“Aw, but she’s so pretty and I’d like to go for a ride with her.”

“Yeah,” he ogles you shamelessly in your pajama pants. “I’d like to go for a ride too.” Dean sneezes. His fork drops to the ground, and he curses loudly. “Fuck you, stupid cold. I want to flirt with my girl, and you have to ruin it!”

My girl… Your heart flutters at his words. Dean grabs a tissue to blow his nose. He sighs and rubs his nose with the tissue. “I will kill whoever sneezed my way and got me sick.”

“I guess that’s what happens if you have contact with many people every day. We had a lot of customers last week. And not all of them wash their hands before they touch stuff at our store.”

“We should sell sanitizer with our dildos,” he snorts. “Maybe that’s not the worst idea.” Dean wrinkles his forehead. “What do you think? Wait! I have a slogan." He grins at you. "Do you want to make your partner happy? – All you got to do is buy lube and sanitizer to make your sex even better.”

You giggle. “Dean, that’s the worst slogan I ever heard.”

“Sweetheart, it’s an awesome slogan and you know it,” he grumbles under his breath and coughs again. “Wait! I got another one.” He makes a dramatic pause. “Before you touch the coochie, clean your pinky.”

“Coochie…pinky?” You start laughing loudly. Giggling and snorting. “Dean, we can’t do this!”

“Everyone coming to our store wants to play with the coochie or dick,” he points out. “Hygiene is important, Y/N. We should not forget about it.”

“I don’t know what was in the medicine the doctor prescribed, but it made you even funnier,” you say and sit next to Dean on the bed. You grab his hand and interlace your fingers with his. “We can talk about your new business idea when you are healthy again. Until then, I’ll take care of you.”

“Why are you so nice to me?” He asks, eyes dropping to your hand holding his. “You don’t have to take care of me.”

“Dean, you took care of me not weeks ago when I felt like crap. You helped me with my aunt’s business and accept that I can do whatever I want to,” you bring his hand to your lips to kiss it. “And I really like you.”

“I really like you too, Y/N,” he leans closer to whisper in your ear. “The moment I’m healthy again I’ll show you the breath stealer…” 

Tags in reblog.

[saratinz]

Erase Him From Your Brain

pairing ➩ Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

warnings ➩ angst, drinking, smut, pure filth, spanking, daddy kink, dom/sub dynamics, degradation, praise, pet names (good girl, slut)

synopsis ➩ sequel to 'Fuck Away the Pain'

word count ➩ 1.4k

a/n ➩ to celebrate reaching 69 followers, I give you part 2. comment to be added to taglist.

Your date with bucky is tonight, and you could not be more nervous. It’s weird, the fact that you’re about to have a romantic evening with the guy who you only had hatred towards two weeks ago. There’s a thin line between love and hate, and you two had crossed it. You have no idea what’s going to happen at this dinner. He picked a fancy restaurant, but no amount of money spent can make up for a lack of connection. And that’s your worst fear, realizing that even though your sexual chemistry is off the charts, your ideas of romance might clash. 

You went through hundreds of different outcomes in your head, but never did you expect this one to even be possible. “Ma’am, if he’s not gonna show up, I need you to give up the table.”

“Thank you for being so patient, he’s not coming. Here, let me give you, $20, for your time.”

“I’m so sorry about your boyfriend.”

“Appreciate it. Have a good evening.”

When you get back to the compound, you can’t stop the tears that flood your eyes. How could he do this to you? How could you fall for it, fall for him? Whatever shred of respect you had for him a month ago is gone. James Barnes is a no-good, very bad, wretched man, and no amount of charm will ever get him out of this hole he dug. You are done. Done with lies, done with assholes, and done with love. What even is love anyway? Seems like all it does is cause pain. Your thoughts race as you lie in your bed, wondering what the fuck you did wrong. You’ve felt this pain before, you know you can beat it, but everything feels so awful. You want this hurt to be gone. Why won’t it just go away? Why won’t he just go away? That’s your last thought before you drift off into a not-so-peaceful slumber.

You wake up to violent knocking, with your eyes puffy and pillow stained with makeup. “Y/n, it’s Bucky.” Fuck this, you roll over, figuring he’ll eventually go away. “I know you’re in there, F.R.I.D.A.Y confirmed for me.

“Fuck off James.”

“C’mon baby, just let me apologize.”

“Get away or I swear to god, I’ll make your life a living hell.”

“Just, I rescheduled our dinner for tonight, if you don’t come, I understand, but I’m giving you the option.”

“Hope you’re more embarrassed than you’ve ever been in your life.”

“I love you. ”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay, I’m leaving.” You scream into your pillow. The thought of going to dinner with Bucky makes you sick. It still crosses your mind though. No, you refuse to think about what could happen. Like how he could apologize, could be easy to talk to, could be your soulmate. Shut up brain. You do not want the guy who betrayed you, the guy who teased you to no end. You hope he’s in pain, and maybe that’s wrong, but it’s simply how you feel. 

You’re not usually a day-drinker, but this situation calls for it. You cradle your favorite drink, sipping it way faster than you should. You see a familiar face passing. “Hey Sam.”

“Hey Y/n. I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Bucky.”

“God, please don’t tell me he put you up to this.”

“He’s so sorry. He had a few drinks before dinner, he was so nervous, he wanted things to be perfect. He passed out from not sleeping or eating.”

“Here’s the thing, I don’t care what happened. I was scared too, but I showed up anyway.”

“He wanted me to give you this.” 

“Take it back to him, I don’t want it.”

“He said even if you didn’t open it, I have to force you to take the box.”

“Sam you’re really getting on my nerves.”

“Y/n, you want my honest opinion?”

“Go ahead.”

“He’s an asshole, you deserve better.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Because even though he sucks sometimes, he’s never cared about anyone half as much as he cares about you. He’s always had your back.”

“That’s what you do when your an Avenger.”

“No, I mean he literally begs people to check up on you, to look after you, hell, he convinced Steve to give you a chance.”

“I didn’t ask for him to do any of those things, and look how well my thing with Steve ended.”

“He cares more about you than he does his best friend, that’s what came between them. You’re special, he didn’t intentionally fuck this up, that’s just what you get when you fall in love with him. So please, for the love of god, take him back, so that I never have to do this again. I will pay you to go on this date. Name your price.”

“One million.”

“I was thinking more like $50.”

“I’m not going to dinner.”

“Just, don’t drink too much, okay?”

“I know. Goodbye Sam.”

“Bye.” Once he leaves, you get right back to self-medicating. The drinks start to taste less and less like alcohol. You know your limits, and you use that knowledge to drink as much as you can without blacking out. When you finally cut yourself off, you realize it’s time for dinner. But there’s no way you’re going. Even drunk you knows that’s a bad idea. 

Bucky clouds your mind, like the virus he is. How do you even explain your feelings toward him? He’s just, he won’t get out of your head. You kinda wanna go to dinner. Wait, what? No you don’t, let him be so embarrassed like you were. But he’s so hot, and good at sex. No, shut up brain. And you love him. Well, that you can’t deny. No matter what you tell yourself, that will always be true. Fuck it, fuck reasoning, you are going to stop him from going. You don’t want him in pain like you are. 

You practically sprint to his room, trying to catch him before he leaves. You run into him in the hallway with his room. “James, don’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s humiliating.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well, I do. I still love you, I don’t want you to go through with this.”

“There’s nothing you can do to stop me.” 

“Not even if I let you fuck me?” You put on your best pouty face.

“What?”

“Not even if I suck your dick?”

“Y/n, stop it.”

“Not even if I call you daddy?”

“How, how did you know I like that?”

“I didn’t, but I do now.”

“Shut up.”

“Guess you’re just gonna have to punish me, daddy.” All of a sudden, you’re pushed against the wall, caged in, and getting really turned on.

“You wanna be a brat? I’ll treat you like one.”

“Do your worst.” His lips are on yours in an instant, and it’s a filthy kiss, just tongue and teeth. You yelp as Bucky pulls away and throws you over his shoulder. Once you get inside his room, he walks to the bed and tosses you onto it. 

“Take your clothes off, underwear too.” You do as he said, feeling self-conscience under his dark gaze. “Good girl, now I’m gonna sit down, and you’re gonna lay across my legs.” Crawling onto his lap, you cry out as he smacks his hand across your ass. 

“What the fuck?” Another hit.

“You begged me to do this with your bad behavior. I can’t just let you get away with whatever. I’m gonna make you my obedient little slut, it’s time you learn a lesson or two. But if you feel uncomfortable, just say the word ‘red’ and I will stop.” Once again, you’re struck. “After every spank, I’m gonna need you to say ‘thank you, daddy’. You got that?”

“James, that’s humiliating.” He puts all of his strength into the next blow.

“That’s not my name princess, now what do you say?”

“Thank you, daddy.” You reluctantly mumble.

“I can’t hear you.”

“Thank you, daddy.” You scream.

“Good fucking girl. Now we’re gonna do that 20 more times.” 

When your punishment is finally over, your eyes are puffy and your face is soaked. “It’s over honey, you did so good.” He helps you straddle him, kissing your tears away. You lay your head on his shoulder, wishing this feeling will last forever. He lies down, maneuvering your limp body so that you can use his still clothed chest as a pillow. You’re super drowsy, from the alcohol and spanking, and before long, you fall into a deep slumber.

Previous part / Masterlist / Next part

[klausysworld]

Hoping to get a little ask in…

Klaus and YN were in a f**k buddies, YN gets pregnant and is upset when Klaus is an ass about it. But YN is heartbroken when she walks into Klaus room to find him painting and a naked (covered in bed sheet) Cami.

Thanks so much

A life i do not deserve

Part 2

It hadn’t exactly been in mind to get pregnant when i slept with Klaus. He’s a vampire he isn’t meant to be able to have children. But apparently being only half hybrid has its extra ‘perks’. We’ve had a ‘friends with benefits’ kinda situation going on for a a while before i fell pregnant and i hate to admit it but i was gaining feeling but i could have sworn he was too, there was certain gentleness he would have sometimes, a specific look in his eye you know?

Then witches took me and we found out i was pregnant…with his kid. I won’t lie i wasn’t exactly over the moon, i was terrified and sick to my stomach with nerves. When Klaus found out i, for some reason, thought he might have said something, anything reassuring. Yeah, no. He flipped out, i was a liar, a slut that would sleep with anyone who was desperate enough to have me and i probably couldn’t even remember the fathers name. I don’t think i’ve ever cried harder, in front of Klaus, his brother and a witch, the overwhelming combination of the news and then the person i had finally come to actually understand telling me how disgusting and worthless i am to him just pushed me over the edge.

He left me and our child for dead before eventually returning. By the time he came to bring me home i was in an emotionless state. I refused to speak to him and wouldn’t let him touch me.

Over the next few months he had apologised many times and i decided it was best to move on from the issue, we were going to be parents after all. Plus the small fact that i did still long for him and everything in my heart screamed to forgive him. i knew he was struggling with the adjustment to his life as well, he just went for anger instead of distress.

Besides over that time we’ve had many sweet moments, he could be very kind when he wanted to be. I still hoped that he may see me as more one day. He would give my head a soft kiss and rub my bump in a loving manner. We were going to be a family.

I thought we could be a happy family…

But then he had to fuck his therapist.

I had just got back to our home, my bump was much bigger now as i was nearly 7 months pregnant. I had gone out to collect the decorations Klaus had picked for our baby’s new room, he had insisted we get it ready asap and i couldn’t argue. We designed and got it set up over the past few weeks.

I had just made a few extra adjustments to the baby room before going to Klaus’s room but he wasn’t in there. What was however was a bra and panties set. They were definitely not mine. I could feel my heart breaking as my breath caught in my throat and i opened his art room door.

I’m almost certain he could actually hear my heart shatter as i took in the scene before me. Camille. The blonde psychologist was completely naked on his art sofa, a sofa that they had spent time on in the past. Another girl was sprawled out with her tits on full display, a scrap of a bedsheet covering her most private area. And Klaus he was painting her. He only painted people when he had taken an interest, he told me that when he painted me. Everything he had shared with me was a game. The pregnancy ruined his game.

I took a step back and immediately he was stood in front of me, i could feel the tears streaming down my face, my chest aching as my mind yelled at me to leave. I couldn’t hear a thing he was saying, though i could see the panic in his eyes as he hands came to hold my arms. The second he touched me i let out a sob, my head shaking and my feet carrying me out the compound as fast as possible.

“y/n! stop running, love please!” he was grabbing me again, hands that had been all over another woman’s body, possibly inside another woman’s body. I was gonna be sick.

“get off me right now or i swear i will leave and never come back, you don’t even want this child and it’s clear you don’t want me so i don’t know why you’re bothering in trying to convince me otherwise” my voice was shaky and pain was obvious as i spoke.

“that wasn’t anything, she’s nobody, you’re carrying our baby, our baby that i love, you know that i love our child, you mean so much to m-“

“you’re such a fucking liar Klaus! This entire time i was afraid you still thought i was a stupid whore but it turns out I’ve been living with one this whole time while lugging around his kid, a kid you wanted to leave for dead, i forgave you and you said that we could be a family” my heart was basically on the floor at this point

“i can’t live here anymore. i’m leaving, i don’t know where i’m going but i’m not staying with you, you keep your filthy hands off of me and you stay away from my child. Do as you please, when you please but do not expect me to come crawling back to you, begging at your feet for a life that i do not deserve”

i practically ran to my car, the car that he had bought me, and drove to a hotel, i would sleep this off and think of a clear plan when i was in a better headspace

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

the way this fandom has no sympathy for marina who went through all of this and worse in that household then pen or cress ever did in theirs btw but Cressida getting sent to the country side is where they all of sudden get all the empathy in the world or have it in abundance for cress pen or Portia bc she was just being mother protecting her kids right (like marina was doing to live a rich life for herself plz) or for Pen(but this is more jealousy bc marina is that girl + racism by isncure yt woman) and they want me or anyone to hate marina like she has ever done anythin wrong in her life

it was only ever Colin Marina who was victims of Pen anger N insecurity everyone else P only wrote what she had heard in the ton and with Eloise she saved her from the queen let’s not lie to much on Pen people use marina as scapegoat to hate on Pen but yeah I won’t allow y’all to use my girl for her pen hatred agenda especially since y’all couldn’t give two fcvls about marina and only talk about her when it’s to hate on pen bc y’all have that the show revolves around Pen or LW which in return means the show revolves around Nic a yt woman and y’all can’t stand that I have no problem with Pen aside from the fact of what she did to marina especially and Colin and how she never apologized for

both of those things to the people she did and i also have huge problem sign her hypocrisy over how she and Colin got married like that wasn’t exactly what hag she was saying marina was doing to Colin 😂 those things aside I’m on team pen on everything else in the sense that once she apologizes fully to Marina and gives her a way out of her marriage if she’s not happy in it because she’s the reason she’s even in that marriage with a man she didn’t know! Like I want pen getting marina out of the situation she put her in by idk maybe getting the queen to annul her marriage to Phillip that way my giro doesn’t have to die so two yet people can be happy and game her kids which gives me the biggest disgusting feeling in my whole body like how are they not seeing how weird that is for them to k word my girl so two yt can be better parents to her kids please it’s giving poor black babies getting away from their horrible black mother getting saved by the nice rich yt girl please if Pen doesn’t do something that stops marina from having this fate that she’s only even in because of pen trust I will become the biggest pen

anti in the history of pen antis! Like use ur powers that you weren’t even willing to give away for the man that you love the man you ruined a innocent teenage girl for but couldn’t give away ur little panflit for bc LW is what power we’ll use that so called power and your connection with the queen being her ally or confidant to get marina out of that marriage so she can stay alive with her kids and have her happy ending and good life with her babies and she doesn’t have to d word so the two yet people can get her babies like nah that’s sick! also give her that 20K you was billing to give cress who was blackmailing you with and give it to the girl whom you hurt exposed ruined and put in danger as start on the apology that’s never gonna be enough but it’s start

and I love Nic so love seeing the show revolve around Nic because she is that girl she’s my girl always even if I can’t stand pen until she corrects her mistakes with my girl the girl marina and what she did to Colin in s3

[brandogenius]

hiiii love ur work + how much you do for the fandom!! wanted to request a blurb or fic abt the reader taking care of julien when she’s sick / having a hard time letting herself be cared for? tysm!

hi!! omg thank you baby<33 i’m glad to be of service!!!

‼️ RPF ‼️

“Come lay down with me”

julien x reader

word count: 605

“baby i told you go back to bed” you turned around with a sigh. stood at the kitchen door was julien. leaned up against the door, blankets wrapped around her shoulders.

“i’m fine. i need to get ready for work” sniffling slightly, julien winced. she looked like shit. face pale and sweat accumulating on the top of her forehead. nose red and agitated from sniffling.

you walked over to julien, pressing the back of your hand to her cheek. she was stone cold to the touch. “i don’t know about that honey. i don’t want to get a call from producers or the boys saying you collapsed”

julien frowned, turning her head as she huffed. “cant miss anymore writing days” she mumbled, heavy footsteps moving to sit on the kitchen chair. “you barely miss any to begin with baby”

going back to the countertop, you finish making breakfast. maybe something light for julien. nothing to upset her stomach.

“i can just sense you feeling more miserable” you teased, trying to lighten up the mood, sighing to yourself when all you get in return is a bunch of muffled whines.

“ are you sure you’re fine? one hundred present positive? you don’t sound fine” you placed a slice of toast on the table in front of julien. her head was on the table, blankets wrapped around her tightly. you ran a hand through her messy hair

“i’ll just call phoebe, tell her you won’t be making it today- no complaining. sit down and eat your breakfast” you replied sternly, already knowing julien was going to try argue.

“princess-“ you cut julien off by shoving the plate closer to her “no complaining you hear me? eat up and we can go back to bed and lie down for a bit yeah . let me take care of you. consider it a favour when you took care of me last week. that’s why you’re like this and don’t even try deny it”

julien nibbled on her toast, nodding her head “what if the boys are angry i don’t show up?”

“i’m sure they’d understand.” you watched julien for a moment. seemingly caught up in her head.

“if any of the boys couldn’t come in to the studio because they were sick, would you be mad?” you questioned julien. you watched the older shake her head immediately

“no- they’d need to rest obviously. you know?” julien shrugged.

“then why can’t the same apply for you?”

julien stayed silent for a moment. shrugging, she looked down at her hands, refusing to to give an answer. you weren’t gonna push her for one, especially not now.

you grabbed juliens hand, pulling the shorter one up on her feet. “we can just take it easy today alright?

the two of you made your way up to your shared bedroom. pushing the door opened, you lead julien to the bed.

“come lay down with me, baby. you look drained”

the sight of julien made your heart hurt. she looked terrible. you wanted nothing more than to bundle her up and make sure she was taken care of.

julien frowned, during under the covers, shivering. her warm body latched onto yours. gripping onto your shirt tightly, face hiding in your neck.

you rubbed her back softly “i’m sorry for making you sick” you kissed her cheek.

“s’fine. i just hate feeling like shit”

you pulled the covers over julien, tucking them in closer to her. even if you got sick from this again you didn’t mind. if it meant holding and making sure julien was happy and comfortable that’s all that mattered to you.

[sturn1olo-ffics]

- HIDDEN (a series) -

pt. 1 | pt. 2

- Matt Sturniolo x Fem Reader (she/her pronouns used)

- Warnings: angst, Matt and reader high key hate each other, making out, use of y/n, profanity, alcohol use, I think that’s it??; NOT PROOFREAD

- About: Y/n and Matt aren’t very fond of each other on the outside, but on the inside, what really are they?

- Note: orange text=Chris, purple text=Nick, blue text=Matt, pink text=you

—————————————————————————————

(Y/N’s POV):

I look down at my phone to a text from Chris.

“Hey did you happen to see Matt earlier?”

“Yeah, he stopped by to get something. Why what’s up?”

“Oh don’t worry about it, I was just wondering fr.”

“Okay…”

Chris had always been suspicious about Matt and I. He had always been confused why we hated each other so much even though it seems like we’d get along so well.

I ignored Chris’ text and continued on talking to my friends at the party.

I soon grew tired but I couldn’t drive home because I had a few drinks, so I called Larray to Uber over because I trusted him to drive my car home for me.

Upon arriving to my house, I thanked Larray and walked in.

Then, I started to feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

“Hello?”

It was Nick calling me.

“Hey girl I was just on the phone with Larray when you called and wanted to make sure you got home alright.”

“Yeah! I did. Thank you for checking on me. How was filming the car video? Any fights between you and Chris this time?”

“What? Oh no we didn’t have a video planned to film tonight, we did it last night. But I can’t spoil it, you’ll have to wait to watch.”

“Oh- well Imma go. I need sleep really bad.”

“Alright, good night y/n”

“Night!”

Why would Matt lie and tell me they were filming a video? I mean it’s not like it was even that big of a deal, he could have just said he didn’t want to go with me.

I turned my playlist on and hopped in the shower, still intoxicated. I managed to take a quick shower, take off my makeup, and brush my teeth before clocking out in my bed for the night.

3:30am.

Four knocks on my window.

I knew it was Matt. Only Matt knocked 4 times in that pattern.

I opened my curtain to reveal his tired expression and signaled for him to come in.

If I were sober and in my right mind right then, I would not have let him in, but I wasn’t.

“Hi” he said, opening the window.

Almost immediately I pressed my lips to his, forming an unspoken language between us.

His hands roamed my body as he kicked his shoes off, allowing them to fall on the floor.

The cool, fall breeze filled the air as the window was left at a crack, leaving chill bumps across my skin.

Not a word was said between us, but the deepened kiss was all that was needed.

“Matt-” I mustered out.

“Shh baby.” He whispered, closing the gap between our lips once more.

His cologne filled my nose as he placed soft and rough kisses to my neck.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said between kisses.

A soft smile spread across my lips before meeting his again.

5:45am

I must have blacked out or fallen asleep because next thing I know, I was woken up next to Matt in his bed at their house.

“Matt” I said, lightly tapping his shoulder.

“Hm?” He questioned softly.

“What happened?” I sat up, feeling sick.

“When I went down stairs to get you some medicine, you blacked out from the amount of alcohol you drank, so I brought you here to take care of you.” He turned his body toward me.

“Take care of me?” I looked down and giggled.

“I know, I know.” He giggled back.

“You could have done that at my house though-” I continued laughing.

“Shhh I wasn’t thinking.” He whispered with a smile.

“I should actually really get home before Nick and Chris realize I’m here.” I stood up, immediately falling back down onto the bed.

“No no baby, they won’t even know, I’ll get you home without them seeing. Just lay back down.” He whined and pulled me into him.

I fell back asleep to Matt rubbing my back with one hand and brushing my hair with the other.

I could stay like that forever. That is, until Chris unexpectedly walked in the room at 7:00 in the morning.

—————————————————————————————

A/N: I kinda hate this part but whatever, it’s really just filler. Love you guys 😭

Tag list:

@cupidsturniolo

(Comment if you wanna be added lmao)

[gabatronnie]

,, request prompts !!

these are for people who know they want to make a request but don’t have an exact plot and/or reader in mind!

fluff ~

1. “there it is, there’s that cute smile! i knew you had it in ya!”

2. “don’t worry, i’m staying, for as long as i need to.”

3. “PILLOW FIGHT.”

4. “is that my shirt?”

5. “i’m just glad you’re okay”

6. “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

7. “you’re a terrible influence.”

8. “i know we’re not… friends or anything. but if you just need to cry, i get it.”

9. “i don’t hate you.”

10. “you’re pretty -“ “pretty stupid”

11. “i’ll spend a thousand lifetimes coming back to you.”

12. “it’s cold, take my hand, my body heat can warm you up. y’know, cause i’m taller.” “hey!”

13. “you got me flowers?”

14. “ha! you fell on your ass!”

15. “they get annoyed about how often i talk about how much i love you”

16. “you fucking dumbass! just be careful, okay?! i’m kinda sick of worrying about your safety! i love you too much to think about it!”

17. “may i have this dance, my fair lady?”

18. “you look so good in my clothes”

19. “come back to bed”

20. “i love you, but that’s gonna get you killed. not literally though.” “then why can’t i do it?!”

21. “love, can you calmly and politely shut the actual fuck up?”

22. “your my mom loves me, let’s go make cookies.”

23. “thank you, for never giving up on me.”

24. “i think i’m in love!” “who’s the next victim, and how are you gonna torture them this time?”

25. “yeah, i have massive feelings for you, but moving on from that…”

26. “you took all the blankets, asshole. so now, you’re filling the gap, you ARE my blanket.”

27. “did y-you just…kiss me?”

28. “when we get home, you’re in big trouble, missy!” “i won’t in as a big trouble as your big ass, love.”

angst ~

1. “i’m sorry, i hurt you, i can’t promise perfect. but i can promise effort, hon.”

2. “please don’t leave me.”

3. “thank you, but our chapter has ended. but that doesn’t mean i don’t love you anymore.”

4. “let’s just become strangers again.”

5. “i hate you for what you did.”

6. “i’m not your problem anymore.”

7. “I don’t owe jackshit!”

8. “does it ever stop hurting? i mean the wounds on the inside, on your heart, on your soul, love.”

9. “make it stop, please baby. it hurts…”

10. “all you’ve ever done is hurt me.”

11. “you wanna hurt me? go ahead. i already know how it all feels. it doesn’t matter anymore, i’ve given up.”

12. “if you’re going down, so am i. there’s no happy life without you in it.”

13. “i hate knowing you’re hurt, please, tell me i can fix it. even if it’s only once.”

14. “i’m out of empathy for you! fuck you and your privileged ass!”

15. “we’re over.”

16. “everyone wants to hate me, why can’t you be different?”

17. “i don’t need you! why are you still here?!”

18. “just go away!!!”

19. “when will i ever be enough?!”

20. “i can’t look at the night sky anymore, it makes me think of him/her too much…”

21. “come back… please…”

22. “it’s okay, peace has been made, that’s all i wanted. now it’s my time.”

23. “hug me until my eyes pop up because i’ve been crying since four in the morning!”

24. “was it all a lie?”

25. “i’ve lost so much there’s nothing else left.”

26. “i’ll see you on the other side, dearest love.”

27. “i tried so hard to trust you! and i know it wasn’t for nothing! stop being so cross!”

28. “i should’ve trusted you, i’m sorry i didn’t.”

29. “i’m just mad, okay!? i’m beyond pissed i’ve ruined my only chance!”

smut ~

1. “never tease me like that again.”

2. “i’m not fucking done with you. bed. now.”

3. “i’m tearing that dress/suit off the moment we’re alone.”

4. “you’re a lot less quiet when i’m fucking the shit out of you.”

5. “and go, be a good girl and spread your legs, okay baby?”

6. “such a naughty little slut for me/us, adorable.”

7. “cover your mouth one more time, and we’re stopping. i wanna hear you.”

8. “b-but, i wanna see you too. don’t blindfold me, i-i wanna see your face.”

9. “look at you, you’re already shaking, it’s been less than a minute.

10. “crazy, naughty girl. who do you think you are?”

11. “keep your hands on me, don’t let go.”

12. “i’ve always thought of us kissing, but i never thought i’d actually fuck you.”

13. “i’m gonna touch you until you beg.”

14. “you’re more than a fling, my dear.”

15. “you’re so sensitive, i almost feel bad.” “am not!” “oh really? then how about you ride me until you fall to your knees?” “u-uhm…”

16. “you make such sexy noises, hot stuff.”

17. “keep acting up, i dare you.”

18. “fuck me senseless and pin me to the bed, i can’t wait any longer.”

19. “if you keep staring at me, we won’t get to make a baby. or six.” “h-huh?!”

20. “don’t be too loud, or else the others will hear.”

21. “listen to me, you little whore. you’re gonna do exactly what i tell you to.”

22. “i am this close to ripping those clothes off you myself.”

23. “you have ask first, sweetheart.”

24. “sorry, was i drooling? i just really want to bang you right now.”

25. “go on, i wanna see what your mouth can do.”

26. “lay it on me, or in me, but you get my point.”

27. “the outfits great, but i really wanna see you without it on.” “but you told me to buy it?” “i meant i wanted to see you naked.”

28. “i don’t care how good it feels, don’t cum until i say.”

29. “give me a baby. for two reasons, firstly, i wanna fuck you. secondly, i wanna bang you.” “that’s the same thing!” “no, it’s two different words.”

© gabatronnie - don't translate, heavily inspire, feed my work to ai, or repost it on other platforms.

[passivenovember]

Happy Valentines Day!

Dedicated to my babies over in the smut cave. Thanks for making everyday so saturated in horniness that I can’t feel anything but love. You’re the best.

And to @cherrydreamer , who is so good I’m pretty sure God could learn a thing or two.

--

Steve’s not his boyfriend. Billy ties honesty around each wrist to keep himself in place whenever things start to feel a little too much like a roll of party balloons.

And they always do, with Steve. Because Steve’s an idiot.

He’s full of shining romance. He parks the Beemer outside Billy’s house every morning before school even though Billy’s got a car because Steve hopes, against all hope, that Billy will roll over and be his girlfriend.

That he’ll let Steve hold his hand and carry his books and allow Steve to drive them to school. Billy and Max, fighting over the radio station and tracking mud onto the floors while Steve grins like a moron.

Harrington has a death wish disguised as chivalry.

Because even though Billy aims to chew his head off and Neil would probably bury them both alive if he ever caught on, Steve climbs through bedroom windows and tucks notes onto mattress pillows and in between the slots of lockers because he’s got flowers growing out his ass.

Love’s gonna win out, for him.

Billy doesn’t get it. 

The hope. The peppery, love-sick gestures. He could pick them by the handful, each colored for a different moronic display of Steve’s lingering affection. 

And it’s not that Billy hates flowers, it’s just. 

It’s spring. 

It’s the promise of the days getting longer and air gusting warmer and the hope that even though he’s still living like a stoned crab under the ever-present weight of his father, Billy could relax into Steve’s attention and summer will drape itself over the land. 

If he just gave in, July would burn hot on his shoulder blades.

–

Billy doesn’t give in. 

He can’t.

He could lie and say it’s all part of some rude awakening. He’ll take Steve’s dick up his ass, down his throat, blooming like cactus blossoms between both hands, but he doesn’t love him.

But, turns out, as January melts into six more weeks of winter and Heather’s warning that this thing between Billy and Steve’ll vanish as soon as the ground starts to thaw, Steve gets restless.

Billy can’t blame him. Knows they’ve both got a lesbian ear-worm chewing their confidence to shit. 

Heather urges Billy to stop being such a piranha and Robin tells Steve he’s gonna get his heart smashed and tossed like a new penny into the ocean. Lost. Forgotten on its descent to the bottom of the hapless sea. 

And to be honest, no one’s ever been able to guess why Steve chose this. Billy, in all his pathetic glory. 

But he did. He picked Billy like a thorn from his side.

And they hammer themselves into something like the mockery of a relationship because that’s what people do. They fuck. They smoke pot and dry hump and fuck again, each chewing on the idea that maybe this won’t last. 

Billy’s good at ignoring it and Heather and himself until the weekend before Valentines Day. 

Steve pulls out of him. Rolls onto his back and says, “You never gaze at me,” even though his spunk is cooling the sheets under Billy’s naked thighs.

Billy shifts on the pillow, blowing smoke at the ceiling so it won’t end up in Steve’s eyes.

Steve won’t look at him.

He’s got the sheets tucked up around his chest, arms crossed over their slick face like he’s ashamed of himself, maybe, for the first time ever. Regretful of Billy. Of this thing between them.

Billy frowns. “I don’t do what?”

“You don’t gaze at me,” Steve tells him, Adam’s Apple bobbing like he needs a cool drink. “Y’know. Like when you see a pretty girl–”

“Don’t like girls, remember?”

“Okay, then,” Steve rolls onto his side, propping himself seriously on one elbow. “Say it’s a cute guy. Handsome.”

“Alright.”

“When you see a handsome guy, you know? In a nice car, do you ever–”

“Is it a fast car?”

Steve blinks. “Does it matter?”

“‘Course it does,” Billy sucks on his smoke again, teasing, “Fast car’s a sign of taste. And to be able to afford that kinda car you’ve gotta have money. And in my experience, any guy with money’s got a cock on him.”

“Every guy’s got a cock.”

“Yeah, but not every cock’s a good one,” Billy winks, “Ain’t that right, Rolls Royce?”

Steve turns red, all the way down his chest. Billy has the familiar urge to pin him to the mattress and lick at his nipples, see if they taste like strawberry jam when he blushes like that.

But Steve’s eyebrows are threaded together. Serious, when he says, “You’re saying the only thing that’d trap you in a gaze is a nice car?”

Billy shrugs. “I don’t gaze.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“I could, though,” Billy looks over at him, guilty for the thrill that rolls through him at the sight of Steve, naked and pissed off. “If we’re talking about a fast car, and a rich guy, and a nice cock–”

“Forget it,” Steve snaps, sitting until the sheets pool around his waist. “Forget I said anything, alright?” Harrington jostles the bed, swinging his legs over one side. He reaches for his pants, tugging them on so roughly Billy’s worried he’ll give himself rug burn. 

Billy puffs on his cigarette. “Where you going, pretty boy?”

“Gotta piss.”

“You’re putting clothes on for that?”

Steve drops his pants as if they’ve caught fire. “Maybe I’ll leave.”

Billy snorts. “You live here.”

“Well, I’m not gonna kick you out,” Steve snaps. Annoyed. He’s never been this irritated with Billy before. So pressed he won’t even look at him.

Steve always looks at him. 

Gazes. 

It’s not a great feeling.

Billy props himself against the headboard, trying to backtrack whatever landmine he ate shit over. Steve’s seething on the edge of the mattress, so far away he might as well be in Asia. So close Billy can map the constellations between his shoulder blades. “Come here,” Billy says softly.

Steve shakes his head. 

“Steve.”

“You’re such an asshole sometimes.”

“I know,” Billy pinches the butt between his teeth. “Come here anyway.”

One moment yawns into the next and then Steve’s toes follow each other back onto the mattress. He tucks under the sheets, eyes tacked to the ceiling. 

“What,” Steve says. Taught and fragile. Bitchy.

Billy chokes on a swell of something. Swallows it down. “You don’t wanna cuddle?” He asks, exactly how Steve always does. Batting his eyelashes where he knows Harrington can see. 

But Steve won’t budge. He crosses his arms. “Tell me what you want and I’ll consider it.”

And Billy. 

He’s a pro at flipping the script. At hiding in plain sight. He’s been pretending to want this and nothing more if it means he’ll get Steve. A couple nights a week fucking in a bed he never sleeps in, watching every flash of desperate pleasure on Harrington’s face because there’s no chance he’ll run into the weight of anything when he’s caught in orgasm land. 

Billy doesn’t say the only time he feels good is when Steve comes. Doesn’t own up to the way it gets him through the swell of night, the memory of being so close to someone who’s good because it’s his nature. 

Steve never has to try. He’s perfect.

And Billy isn’t ready to admit anything. That he recognizes it. Feels Steve’s brilliance like a twisting knife in the back; Tell me what you want–

Billy clears his throat. “Do you want me to leave?”

The possibility makes him nauseous. Steve takes the cigarette that’s handed to him, perfect plush lips closing around the butt of the thing.

“Tell me, baby. I’ll go right now. You’ll never have to see me again–”

“God, you’re a dumbass, too, you know that?” Steve hands the cigarette over, jaw tense. “If I wanted you gone I would’ve kicked you out forever ago.”

“You. You mean tonight, or–”

“Yeah,” Steve tells him softly. “Months before that. Before I fell in love with you.”

Billy chews on their cigarette and watches Steve in between puffs. The way his lashes flutter when he’s trying not to give the side eye. 

Billy feels haunted. By everything. His future. The way Steve’s so free with his words and his truth, tossing them at Billy like red roses and rotting tomatoes. Steve says he loves him, and Billy’s heard it before. Steve’s sentiment gets lost in the roiling anger that makes Billy who he is. 

But tonight, it’s silenced.

Steve’s I love you’s have that effect on him. Cutting all the noise from the sky as his attention drapes over Billy like the lid of a coffin. Like sunlight, too. 

Daylight.

Billy turns to face him, his wrist cracking under the weight of his head. “Do you want me to gaze at you more?” He asks.  

Steve chews on a mouthful of smoke and then blows it at the ceiling until it looks like a cloud.

A bunny or an anvil. Something.

“I could,” Billy says. “You’ve got everything that grabs my attention, you know?”

“What? Money and cars and–”

“Yeah, but. It’s not only that shit, I was. I was kidding.”

Steve blinks. “You were kidding?”

“Mostly.”

“Mostly,” Steve says, as if tasting the caramel drop word on his tongue. He shifts on the mattress, glancing over and away again. Teasing. “Alright. What else about me grabs your attention?”

“You’re really gonna make me spell it out for you? Itemized list style?”

Steve’s demeanor falls flat again. A punctured balloon trickling from the sky. “Never mind,” He says, “Forget it. You obviously don’t feel the same about me as I do about you–”

“You make me laugh, okay?” Billy spits. 

He swallows thickly. Fiddles with the lip of the sheets. His words burn like acid. He’s cut to the bone. 

“I like the way you drum on your knee when there’s a song you dig. You have passions. You read, but you’re not very good at it. You help me study even though you mispronounce everything. You’re kind.”

And suddenly, Steve’s looking at him. Through him, too, past every swirling atom, toggling layers of bullshit and titanium walls meant to keep everyone out.

But under the cosmic starfall of Steve’s gaze and his attention and his love–

Billy’s walls never stood a chance.

“I like you,” Billy grits. 

There. 

He said it. He told the truth and now Harrington can out a lid on those eyes and stop looking at Billy like he ran over the family dog–

“You mean it?” Steve asks.

As if Billy’s saying something else. Like he’s admitting to a crime, or accepting a ticket to go anywhere in the universe.

Billy frowns, not understanding. “I guess so.”

Steve watches him for another endless, yawning moment. “Prove it.” He says, and finishes the cigarette.

–

It’s kind of how Max was, in that weird space between Billy’s first I’m Sorry and where they are now. 

Billy had to work for it because Billy has to work for everything. It’s like purgatory. Paying out of pocket for all the shit he’s done wrong in his life. 

Steve says, “prove it,” and Billy doesn’t really believe him at first. 

They aren’t together. Billy isn’t his fucking girlfriend, and Steve’s old enough that he’s supposed to have stopped wishing for grand gestures. 

Doesn’t he know that shit isn’t real? That husbands get their wives flowers because they got caught fucking their secretaries, and boyfriends only tuck fuzzy animals into their girlfriends arms to apologize for getting drunk and covering her in bruises?

But the more Billy turns it over in his hands, the more he realizes he should’ve seen this coming.

Steve’s got a pension for anything sappy and romantic. 

He goes hog wild for John Huges and sets money aside for February 15th, when all the Valentine’s candy is on sale. He sings the Ronettes at the top of his lungs when Billy’s pissed off, wiggling his hips and begging Billy to be his little baby. 

Steve pretends not to trace love hearts on storefront windows. He ignores thoughts of dinner reservations and avoids all conversation of expensive springtime bouquets until someone asks his opinion, and suddenly Steve’s a florist. 

Last year he even helped Max and her Nerdy friends plan a romantic double date night, complaining all the while even though he made Billy hide with him in the back room so they could spy–

And.

It hits Billy like a freight train.

“No,” Billy tells himself. He shakes his head, curls catching obnoxiously on the pillow beneath him. “No way–”

He’s not asking the Nerd Squad for help/

He’d never hear the end of it. They’d roast him alive and it would cost him every cent in his California fund. Curly top would accuse him, all over again, of not being suave or good or smart enough for someone like Steve, and the rest would co-sign without ever saying a word, and–

No.

Billy isn’t going to put himself through that type of ego-death all for a pair of legs, and that’s final.

But just as he starts to doze off, dreams lapping at his toes like warm ocean water, Billy settles with the fact that he has no other choice.

It’s his ego or Steve, and if Billy doesn’t play this right he’ll never love again.

–

“He says you never gaze at him?”

Billy digs his nails into his palm. “That’s what I said.”

“Steve’s kind of confusing.”

“You’re telling me.”

“I mean, it’s so weird,” Max’s shoes thump against the base of the couch, filling their empty house on Cherry lane with music. “You throw plenty of gaze at him.”

“I know, right?”

“You are gay-ze,” Max teases.

And if Billy were any less desperate, he might stick a wet thumb in her ear for that one. But he’s on his last leg. He’s tearing his curls out by the root. He’s climbing the walls, he’s–

Max frowns. “Tough crowd.”

“It was funny,” Billy tries, smile stiff and unnatural. “I was gonna laugh, but–”

“But you’re worried if you don’t do something grand and rom-com perfect Steve’ll dump you.”

Billy glares at her. “There’s nothing to dump. We aren’t dating.”

“Sure,” Max says slyly. 

She’s such a little shit. She’s the worst.

Billy bites against the urge to bully her. To pinch her arm and revert back to his old self to get what he wants out of the situation.

Max shrugs her knobby little shoulders and admits, “Steve’s not that hard to romance.”

Billy drops the act entirely. “How the fuck would you know that?”

“When he helped Lucas and Mike plan our double-date last year he gave this obnoxious speech about how girls pretend like we want diamonds and flashy declarations, but really it’s the thought that counts.”

But. “Steve’s not a girl,” Billy thunks his head on the back of the couch, exhausted.

This is bullshit.

This is so difficult–

“It’s not like you could afford to do anything obnoxious even if you wanted to,” Max tells him. 

And Billy gets that it’s meant to be reassuring.

Steve was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Anything he wants he can get for himself, including expensive bouquets and five-star dinners. Hell, he could get himself off, too. Doesn’t need Billy for anything. Not really. 

But that’s half the trouble.

If Billy can’t live up to the Valentine's Steve can plan for himself, he doesn’t know why he’s trying. 

Why he’s losing sleep, sick to his stomach over the thought that this might be it.

“Stop spiraling,” Max sits on the coffee table in front of him, knocking their toes together until Billy pins her with a heat-less glare. “When you imagine a perfect day with Steve–”

“I’m not talking about this with you.”

“Why? Max demands, “Because it involves a lot of open mouthed kisses?”

“Just tell me what you think he would like.”

“A handjob, probably.”

Billy sits ramrod straight. “Max, let’s watch the mouth.”

“Don’t take it out on me. I’m pretty sure that’s what every guy wants.”

“Steve’s not every guy, he’s. He’s fucking perfect and he was born in a castle and he’s always had anything he’s ever wanted and I’m a piece of shit–” 

“Billy, you’re fine,” Max tells him. Because, of course, she sees right through Billy’s vitriol.

He’s made of glass.

He’s a window. A crystal slipper, plummeting to its brain-shattered death.

Max knocks their toes together again. “Even if you served him a burnt pot of macaroni on a dirty plate, tucked over a sticky dining room table, he’d love it.”

“Why,” Billy snaps, “Because it’s me.”

“Because it’s you,” She says, eyes blue and earnest. “Now, walk me through your perfect date.”

–

In the end, mop top and the wheeler kid think it’s sweet that Billy’s trying in the first place.

They give him his blessing.

On February 14th, a day that’s so cloud-covered and rain drenched that Billy almost wants to call the whole parade off and stay in bed until the sun rises red and new, Steve’s dorks manage to get him out of the house.

His parents are in Rome, because.

Of course they’re in Rome. The city of love.

And Billy’s been shaking hard enough to cause an Earthquake since the second he got into the shower this morning, but Max smiles and says, “Tonight, Hawkins is the most romantic place in the world.”

So Billy chooses hope.

They light candles. They decorate. Billy orders heart-shaped pizza because he’d probably give them food poisoning if he tried to cook, and suddenly it’s 5:00.

The dorks clear out.

When the front door opens, Steve runs headfirst into a hallway covered in wilting daisy petals. He’s immediately tangled in the strings of four stubborn Get Well balloons because Max tried her best.

He drops his shopping bags when he sees the candles.

He almost brains it on the stairs, because Billy’s waiting in a suit, collar uncomfortably tight around the knob of his throat.

“Billy–” He says, with tears in his eyes.

But Billy’s gotta spit it out, before the words choke him to death. He takes the stairs two at a time, arriving at the bottom.

“Steve,” He says, kind of breathless. “I don’t just like you. I love you, and. Max helped me plan this because I’m an idiot. And the balloons are all wrong and I didn’t cook you anything, not even macaroni, but I love you, and--”

“It’s perfect,” Steve tells him.

And Billy doesn’t want to brag, but.

He proves it. Seals the deal with a kiss.

[mdemn]

Been thinking about that one Tyler the Creator song, Like Him. There's this one part that's like "do I look like him?"

And back at school been thinking about Sarah and her daughter having some similar traits as Tom while he's still in jail ( And maybe Sarah sobs a little idk I'm sorry to bother you )

1) don’t ever apologize for sending me asks, but ESPECIALLY not about sarah !!!!!!

i’m not going to lie, i had to look up this song. i don’t really listen to tyler HOWEVER, when i did ??? unlimited pain and suffering. lyrics & my analysis under the cut!

sarah thinks that both of her kids favor tommy. she sees so much of tommy in them. and she wonders if she sees it because tommy’s gone or if they’re really there. sometimes she wonders if she’s forcing traits onto them, just to see her daughter have the same sheepish smile that tommy does, when he’s caught doing something he knows he shouldn’t be.

sarah tells so many stories of tommy to her kids because she doesn’t want tommy to be a stranger to them. she loves tommy so much, and she knows tommy loves her and her kids. and she knows her kids will never understand the sacrifice tommy made for them. hell, sometimes sarah doesn’t understand it herself. but still, she preaches all the good in tommy to her kids.

but stories aren’t the same thing as having him there. when tommy gets it of prison, his daughter is around 12 and his son is at least 9, but he is also never mentioned in the game so we don’t know when he was born, only that he was (as he is seen in the end of the game). tommy, their father, is nothing more than a ghost to them. a bedtime story. and illusion.

i don’t think sarah lied to them, i do think she told them he was in prison, when they were old enough to understand, but.. did they understand that? did they care? or did they just know their father was gone and their mother was suffering and it was his fault? do you think they lied and told their friends their father was in the war? do you think sarah told them to?

do you think when tommy got out, they recognized him? do you think they were cold to him? did they call him papa, even though he was a stranger? god.. do you think they called him by his first name? do you think they resented him? hated him, even?

now this part right here, THIS is the cornerstone to sarah & the baby angelos to me—

i think sarah has a breakdown after tommy dies. because yes she was alone when he was in prison, but she still knew that no matter what, no matter how tough— tommy WAS still there. but when he died, when she saw him die.. i think she really lost it.

however, i think in some twisted way, she felt relief, like she can stop looking over her shoulder. but i think she also let herself really cry after he was gone. and i think her kids held her together. i think they told her that she did amazing all these years without him. that they were loved and cared for, they never went without. and that now, without tommy, she can LIVE her life.

how they never needed tommy before, how they won’t even notice he’s gone now. they barely had him, and again.. they can’t miss something they’ve never had. they didn’t have a father, who is there to miss?

and hearing them speak like this makes sarah SICK.. but it only makes her sick because she has thought the same… it’s going to be hard without tommy, but it’s not like it was easy with him either…

her little girl has tommy’s smile, and kind brown eyes. her little boy has tommy’s nose, and lips. they both carry mannerisms of his, the cadence of his speech, the way he moves his hands, his big heart, his easy-going nature.

but when they’re asked about their parents, they’ll talk about sarah for hours. and when they’re asked about their father… they scramble to piece together something, until they settle on “he died in ‘51.”

[magicmindless]

omg you should do rollie (and or brody headcannons (i’m so sorry if i’ve already asked this i have a very bad memory)

Yeah you did but Dw I have Rollie HCs (sorry it took a while, all of the lists are gonna take a while)

A HC list but it’s just Rollie

- Reserved, uptight, and isn’t the most expressive fellow, at least when it comes to him showing positive emotions. If you make him smile then he must really like you. Generally polite but he can and will insult people brutally if needed

- For someone so reserved he’s pretty outspoken when he’s unhappy with something. Those who know him joke that it’s easier to name things he doesn’t like than things he does like

- For one, he hates his baby face. People have thought he was younger than he was (youngest guess he’s ever gotten was 12 years old and he took it personally)

- He’s really not that frail or weak as people would think he is. He gets sick like a normal amount of times someone would get sick and only has like a few main allergies but none of them are life-threatening (except for mold). He was just unlucky back in the day

- His germaphobia seemed to develop ever since he was young. It wasn’t like there was one event that changed him or anything, it was more of factors that built up overtime. Germs and illnesses were the cause of a lot of stress in his life, whether it was from seeing his family or even himself going to the hospital with the chance they won’t come home alive, or witnessing mold growing in parts of his home causing allergic reactions, they were enough for him to want to avoid them all, even if it meant taking the most extreme measures

- Has a very strong sense of smell so he carries air freshener everywhere he goes which has inconvenienced some people since not everyone likes tons of air freshener sprayed everywhere

- Along with his germaphobia, he also has claustrophobia. Public transport is a nightmare to him so he mostly walks everywhere

-He doesn’t drive. He says it’s because it’s better for the environment which isn’t a lie but he’s also kind of terrified of driving

-He does genuinely like conservation and doing things to help the environment. Most of his cleaning detergents and stuff like that are biodegradable and he doesn’t like it when people litter

- Very squeamish about blood and needles, though he’s able to cope with needles better (like at doctors getting a shot) by being distracted by something. Meanwhile with blood he has fainted at the sight of it before

- Doesn’t like when people feel sorry for him, or infantilize him. To him, what’s happened has already happened and there’s nothing he can do about it

- Something else he likes is marine life. For whatever reason being around water makes him feel calmer and he just thinks fish are cool. He loved going to the aquarium tons as a kid, and it was one of the things he missed during his housebound period. He even wants to get his own fish tank for his home

- Koilee was his childhood friend so he’s known about his phobia for a really long time. She was always there by his side and when he became too scared to leave his house for years she called him every day to check up on him. He did find it annoying sometimes but in the end he’s actually grateful that someone cared about him

- His family would also sometimes call him asking why they haven’t seen him in so long or just what he’s been doing, though he’s never been close enough with his family to tell them about his severe germaphobia so he always just said that he was working overtime or studying really hard in college

- He was taking online college classes for some time majoring in writing since he didn’t know what other job to have. However, while he was getting therapy and slowly overcoming his anxieties he decided to switch majors to psychology since he didn’t want anyone to live the way he did before

- During self-isolation he talked to people mostly through chat forums being known as “LavenderIce316” or “Ice” for short (he’s never told anyone online his real name). It was where he felt most comfortable talking about his personal life (while also taking basic internet precautions) since no one really knew who he really was.

- The main friends he made online were Brody, Didar, Simone, Moe, and Kaleb. He doesn’t talk to all of them as often, due to time management but they have a group chat together that’s still kind of active to this day. Those he seems closest to are Brody and Simone. He met all of them post-Mocharia and it was a nice experience for him.

- He befriended Emmlette sometime post-housebound when trying to get to know more people. Turns out he went to the same high school she taught at but he was never a theatre kid so he never knew about her until now. She invites him for afternoon tea when she has time and even taught him how to make a simple bento

- Doesn’t know how to cook very well so takeout, frozen and instant food are his usual go-tos, but he’s learning how to cook from cooking classes

- Despite his dislike of being cold he likes the snow. It’s pretty and he likes staying inside because of it, enjoying things like hot drinks and warm fires. And Christmas surprisingly, he likes Christmas

- He absolutely hates spring however because of pollen and since he lives in Sakura Bay it gets really bad. Like said, it’s not severe, he’ll just suffer like any other person would so he wears a face mask if it gets bad.

- Also lactose intolerant. Sometimes he cares about it, other times he doesn’t. Also allergic to certain foods like bananas and peanuts. (Neither are severe. His stomach will just hurt really bad or he gets hives)

- He’s not a fan of physical affection, it’s something he’ll never seem to like, but his main love language is quality time. Just being and talking with someone he likes is enough for him