#I’m sorry if there are any typos it’s very late okay xd

[aftschmidt]

Thinking about Mike getting lonely on his night shifts at Freddy’s when a business card falls out of his pocket and onto the floor. Steve Raglan. He picks it up. He thinks about wether or not it’d be appropriate to call the man, especially at such an hour. But he’d been so nice to him when detailing the job over the phone, and he couldn’t lie that he found the older man’s voice soothing, as if he cared about how Mike got on. Maybe he’d read too much into it. Maybe he was so starved of any niceties from anyone and strangers alike that he saw something that simply wasn’t there. He picked up his phone.

William Afton was on his way to cause trouble. He’d been itching to make himself known to young Michael ever since he started working at the pizzeria. The animatronics hadn’t made any fuss or shown any sign of disturbance in Mike’s presence and that irked him. Besides the break in where his children killed three men that occurred a few weeks prior, everything had gone so disappointingly quiet. For a while he’d been torn between letting it be for the sake of Vanessa’s tireless efforts to keep his anonymity in place, and making a mess just for the hell of it. He’d grown restless over the course of Mike’s employment and decided the latter’s inevitable crescendo was well overdue. He’d parked inconspicuously across the street from the pizzeria, jitters of anticipation setting in as he collected himself and everything he needed for the show. His phone rang. He sighed impatiently before answering swiftly.

“Hello?”

“… Hi, Mr Raglan… it’s uh, it’s Mike Schmidt.”

William furrowed his brow, darting his eyes over the pizzeria, as if he’d been caught in the act, he sat forward, eyeing the building like a hawk. “Mike? … isn’t it a little late to be seeking, well uh, council?”

Mike swallowed audibly. “Yeah, it is. You’re right. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I called.” He sounded embarrassed.

William shook his head as if to clear it, confusion and curiosity ebbing their way into the forefront of his mind. “No, no, it’s fine. I’m just surprised is all… Are you alright?”

Mike nodded, to himself more than anything. “Oh, uh, sure yeah, I uh, it’s quiet here. I’m getting on with it, y’know. I just uh, I thought about how helpful you’ve been and I uh… well it’s much appreciated.”

William sat back and released a suddenly very loaded sigh. “Well it is my job, Mike.”

Mike used his free hand to rub at his aching eyes. “Yeah of course, of course it is. Still, thank you.”

William squinted, as if to help him see Mike through the walls that stood so close yet so far out of reach. “Is… that why you’re calling me at…” He checked his watch. “Two am? To thank me?”

Mike swallowed again. Unsure what he was even doing at this point. “Yes, and no, it’s important you should know that, but no, I’m sorry, I wanted to hear your voice.”

William’s breath caught in his throat. He looked down at the knife resting on his lap. “… you wanted to hear my voice..?”

Mike’s eyes grew wide as he clocked onto what his exhausted mind and mouth had just admitted to. “No! I- not in a weird way! I wanted to say hi! Just uh, see… how you’re doing…”

William smirked, that giddy feeling pushing back up through his stomach and into his chest. He felt warm, it made him uncomfortable. He frowned. “Mike, it’s 2 am, you’re calling your career advisor to say hi, does that not seem weird to you.”

Mike sagged in his seat. It was weird. Very much so. If he ever needed an indication that he needed to take better care of himself and his sleep schedule, this was most definitely it. “Alright yeah, a little bit. I’m sorry.”

William bit his bottom lip. What could have possibly crossed Mike’s mind for him to call William of all people at this hour. He supposed he’d done worse in the throws of loneliness, maybe if he’d had someone to talk to, someone who cared, someone to call at two am, certain things might have gone differently. Or not. He’d never felt this reflective before. “… I’m doing okay, a little tired I suppose, thank you for your concern, Mike.” What the hell was this. What was Mike’s angle here? Why did he want to hear Steve’s voice? There were too many questions and William had no answers. He clearly needed to see where this went. He had to leave before he cut this story short. “And I’d be doing a lot better if you let me get back to sleep.”

Mike cringed, he really knew how to work it. Catch him contemplating suicide over this conversation as soon as it ended. “Oh shit, you were asleep? Of course you were it’s 2 am. God I’m so sorry. Forget I called, please.”

William smirked again. “… How about you call me tomorrow. Preferably before bed time.”

Mike couldn’t believe it. Wether it was for a mental health assessment or a not so embarrassing conversation, he couldn’t care less, this had to be a good thing. “… when is, uh, bed time?”

William rolled his eyes. “Goodnight, Mike.”

Mike cringed again. God, what an idiot. Steve was an intelligent man. He couldn’t keep acting like this if he wanted this to go well. “Goodnight Sir.”

William couldn’t lie, the use of the term sir coming from Mike, made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He couldn’t place it. “Call me Steve.”

Mike sighed with relief. “Goodnight… Steve.”

William hung up. He started up the ignition and headed home. Keeping Mike alive for a few more days couldn’t hurt, and if nothing came of it, he would always come back.

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

The Quiet Game

Summary: When Patton comes to visit Janus, the twins play a game called the quiet game.

Pairings: Parental Janus, brotherly creativitwins (tag it as Rem/Rom and you’re blocked), past Moceit

CW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE, IMPLIED ABUSE, UNSYMPATHETIC!PATTON, MENTIONS OF DIVORCE, IMPLIED DIVORCE, YELLING.

(A/N: it’s ya bean. I haven’t written anything in a while. Sorry for any typos XD)

“Take that you foul Dukey!”

“You’ll never defeat me, Princey!”

Janus chuckles and watches his twins fondly. They’re only 8 but they’ve been through...a lot. It’s hard to see one without the other. Then again, Janus could never bring himself to separate them. Not even for a few moments. One would get upset and the other would cry. It’s quite heartbreaking to see one so broken without the other. Janus had fought hard to get them both away from their old home. And away from the monster that lived in it. He couldn’t bear to leave one. Not with...him. It’s been two years now since Janus left Patton. Since he took custody of the kids. It didn’t mean they were finally free though. Let’s just say Patton really misses his kiddos.

“Papa...Papa!”

Janus blinks out of his thoughts to see Roman staring up at him with wide curious eyes, his twin standing behind him and mirroring him. 

“Sorry, little prince. I was just thinking about something. Did you need something?” he asks, patting their heads.

“Yeah! Can you be the princess again? We need a damsel in distress!” Roman replies, holding up his plastic sword.

Janus sighs and smiles softly.

“I would love to, Roman, but Papa has to clean up around the house.” he says, ruffling their hair now.

The twins pouted.

“Aww, but we want you to play with us!” Remus whines.

“Yeah, Papa! You’ve been cleaning all day!” Roman chimes in.

Janus chuckles softly. Oh he just can’t resist his twins’ playfulness. 

“Alright but you have to pick up your toys first and bring them upstairs. All of them.” he says, gesturing to the living room where all the toys were scattered.

The twins lit up at that and nodded.

“Okay, Papa!” 

With that, the two ran off to go get started on grabbing their toys.

Meanwhile Janus smiles softly again and turns to continue cleaning, grabbing the broom he had set aside. While the twins put their toys away, Janus finished sweeping the living area and moved onto the kitchen. He dumped the dirt and dust into the kitchen trash can then he set aside the broom again. He grabbed the trash bag out of the trash can and headed for the front door. 

He stepped out of the little house he and the twins call home, making his way down the pathway. He dumped the trash in the big trash bin. Just as he shuts the lid, Janus hears the faint sound of a car coming from somewhere. He glances up and sees a familiar sky blue beetle car coming into view in the distance. 

Oh no.

Janus quickly returns to the house, shutting the door behind him. He heads to the living room and sees that it’s spotless. Huh. That was fast. Shaking his head, he looks over to see the twins running down the stairs with an eager look in their eyes. Janus hates to ruin this but...it was for their own safety. He comes over as the two reach the foot of the stairs.

“I’m glad you put your toys away, boys. I know you wanted me to play with you but we’re gonna have to do that later.” he says.

Roman tilts head and Remus pouts.

“But why, Papa?” Roman asks.

Janus looks over to the door then back to the twins.

“We’re gonna play the Quiet Game. You remember how to play?” he says.

The twins nod, a look in their eyes that hurts Janus to see. It just looks so wrong to see them so afraid like this. Like they would lose each other. The twins immediately cling to each other. They don’t like this game but Papa says it’s to keep the monster away so they play it. Anything to make the monster go away.

“We hide upstairs and we stay very quiet so the monster doesn’t find us. And then you come rescue us, Papa.” Roman recites.

Like Roman had said, whenever Patton or the ‘monster’ comes over, they have to hide upstairs in their bedroom and stay quiet until the ‘monster’ leaves or Janus says it safe.

Janus nods, giving them a small smile. 

“That’s right, little prince. And you also keep each other safe.” he says, getting two nods in return.

Janus glances at the door again before turning back to his twins.

“Okay, the monster is here. Go hide!” 

The twins nod and run upstairs hand in hand as Janus sighs. He hates this game as much as they do but it was for their own good. He hears their bedroom door click shut and he takes a deep breath. Then he heads over to the door. He nearly flinches as he suddenly hears a knock. Janus composes himself then opens the door.

“Oh, Janus! It’s so good to see you again!” 

There stands Patton. Patton and Janus had been husbands. Had. Ever since the twins came around from the adoption center, Patton had changed. It started at the Adoption Center itself when Patton only wanted Roman and not Remus. The worker there had told him they refused to be separate and had to be adopted together or not all. Patton tried to talk the worker into letting him take only Roman but the worker said no. That’s when Janus stepped in and convinced Patton to take them both.

When the twins were brought home, Patton mostly gave his attention to Roman. Janus was left to take care of Remus. The twins were only four then and life was already hell for them. As the months passed, Patton pulled Roman further and further away from Remus. He tried to raise Roman as the perfect kid while neglecting Remus more and more. Janus did his best to take care of Remus, sneaking him over to Roman when Patton was away. As even more time went on, Janus saw more and more of Patton’s true colors. It wasn’t long before their first fight which led to more and more fights. The twins could only watch on. Then one day, when Janus left for work and had Patton watch the twins, he came home to find Roman sitting alone on the couch.

It was late when Janus came home. He shuts the door behind him and blinks when he looks up and sees Roman alone on the couch, the poor boy’s face stained with tears.

“Roman?” Janus calls.

Roman flinches and it concerns Janus.

“O-Oh, welcome home, Papa.” he greets, a faint sad smile on his face.

Janus gets his shoes and coat off before joining Roman. Oh dear. He’s trembling.

“Where’s your dad?” he asks.

Roman shifts and hesitates before answering.

“At the neighbor’s...They told dad they heard screaming and wanted to check but dad said they should talk outside…” he mumbles.

Janus frowns at that. Has Patton always lied to the neighbors? Patton hates lying. 

“And where is your brother?” he asks next.

Roman freezes at that and more tears slip out, his shoulders trembling.

“I-I don’t know...I-I...d-don’t know...I don’t know!” he chokes, hands balling into fists.

Janus frowns even more. What the hell did Patton do this time?

“Shh, it’s alright, Roman. We’ll find him. Do you know what your dad did with Remus?”

Roman hesitates again, looking around as if Patton were watching.

Janus notices and gently takes his hands, squeezing them both gently.

“Go on, little prince. You can tell Papa.” he soothes.

Roman sniffles, looking around again before answering again.

“D-Dad dragged him away...S-Said he was a bad twin and deserved nothing...I-I don’t know where dad put him but he said Remus deserves to be locked up…” he admits. 

Janus nods, anger boiling inside him. His sweet husband had become a monster. That was the final straw. He takes a deep breath and pulls Roman close.

“Don’t worry, my little hero. We’ll find your brother.”

After searching around and finding scratch marks in the hall, Janus found Remus in the basement and the twins were reunited. Roman and Remus broke down by then and told them how mean and awful Patton was. Patton had locked Remus away and left him there so he ‘wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore’ and focused on Roman. The screaming was Remus trying and failing to fight back. It angered Janus, seeing how Patton only cared for having the perfect child. 

When Patton returned, Janus confronted him and said he was filing for divorce. He was also taking the twins. After a month of arguing and appearing in court, Janus won custody which of course upset Patton. Janus then moved out with the twins and into a new home. Of course, it didn’t stop Patton from coming over now and then to see them. So Janus did what he could to protect the twins while he started looking for a place further away to move to. And possibly a restraining order on Patton as well. They haven’t had much luck on either of those goals but Janus hasn’t given up.

And now here he was again, dealing with Patton once more.

“Patton. It’s...nice to see you.” Janus says, a small but fake smile on his lips.

Patton grins.

“Aww, I missed you too, Janus! May I come in? Your home looks lovely!” he says, trying to act like he was still all sunshine and rainbows.

Janus rolls his eyes but lets Patton in, leading him to the living room. They sit in the living room.

“So, what brings you here again?” Janus asks.

Patton giggles.

“Can’t this dear old dad visit his old family?” he grins.

Janus holds back a growl and the urge to roll his eyes. Part of him wishes he broke out the wine before answering the door. 

“No. I thought I made it clear the last several times that you leave me and the twins alone.” he hisses.

Patton shifts, smiling awkwardly now like he still thinks he’s sweet.

“Oh come on, Jan. Let me see them! I miss my kiddos!”

“They’re not your kids anymore. You signed the papers.” Janus replies.

Patton glances up the stairs.

“I know but...can’t I at least visit? Or even say hi? I miss them!” he frowns, taking a step forward.

Janus quickly blocks Patton. They’re far from the stairs but Patton could try to bolt past him out of sheer ‘worry’ and get to them. Janus was not letting that happen. 

“Miss them or miss Roman?” Janus raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“I miss them both!” Patton says, eyes wide and like he thinks he’s a cute puppy. 

Janus snaps.

“Lies!”

And the fighting starts up again, Patton arguing back about what he said followed by Janus hissing about his neglectful abuse. 

Meanwhile…

The twins had sat on their shared bed, holding each other close as they listened to their Papa arguing downstairs with da- with the monster. Remus whimpers, clinging to his older brother, tiny hands clutching onto the faded red disney tee. Roman hugs Remus and tries his best to comfort him.

“It’s okay, Ree. Papa’s gonna make the monster go away. I know it.” he assures his twin, trying to stay calm and brave for his twin.

Remus nods, eyes glassy and threatening to tear up.

“I hope so....I don’t like the monster. He’s gonna lock me up again.” he whispers. 

“No. He won’t. I’m not letting him take you away again.” Roman says determinedly now, holding his brother tighter. 

Remus only nods again in return as the yelling continues. He never did like getting yelled at. It was loud and scary. Like thunder. He hopes the yelling stops soon. Despite him and his brother being in the safety of their bedroom, it was still loud. Almost too loud. The monster was very loud, roaring over and over and over. It made Remus whimper again and tremble, hiding his face. 

“You okay, Ree?” Roman asks, hearing his twin whimper.

“T-Too loud.” Remus replies.

Roman hums and looks around before seeing their closet, left open and big enough to hide in. Funnily enough, the twins aren’t afraid of the closet monsters. They fear the one downstairs even more. Especially since he’s real. To them, the closet is a land they call the Imagination. And they were going there now to escape until the monster is gone and they can stop playing the Quiet Game. Roman takes Remus’ hand, grabbing his twin’s favorite stuffed octopus too for extra comfort before leading Remus towards the closet. He lets Remus in first then follows and shuts the door, leaving a tiny crack open just in case.

“Better?” Roman asks, giving Remus his octopus.

Remus relaxes a bit and nods.

“Yeah. Thank’s RoRo.” he replies, clutching onto his octopus friend.

The two cling to each other again, Roman watching through the crack in the door for Papa or the monster. So far he can hear the yelling which is more faint now with them both being in the closet. He hopes Papa is okay. Roman recalls him being upset whenever the monster fought with him. Poor Papa. 

Then, as Roman continues to watch, he hears Papa and the monster’s voices getting louder followed by footsteps. Roman feels his heart pound. The monster is coming. Unsure of what else to do, he shuts the closet door and pulls Remus close. His twin squeaks and clings to him. The yelling picks up.

“I told you to leave, Patton!”

“Not until I see my kiddos!”

“They’re not your kiddos! Leave them alone!”

“I’m taking them! They’re mine!”

“No, they aren’t!”

“Get out of my way, Janus!”

“You’re not taking MY kids!”

“I am! You can’t stop me!”

“No, but a restraining order will! Get out of my house!”

“But-”

“Out!”

Then it goes dead silent before more talking is heard. It’s quiet and muffled now. Footsteps are heard but they’re slower now.

Meanwhile…

Janus sighs and watches as Patton finally leaves the house. He sighs in relief, shutting the door and locking it. The monster is gone. At least for now. After giving himself a moment to calm down, Janus turns and heads upstairs to check on the twins. He opens their bedroom door to find it...empty? He looks around, worried for a moment when he hears a muffled voice from the closet. Sighing in relief, Janus makes his way towards the closet and knocks gently.

“Boys? It’s Papa.”

It’s silent for a moment then the closet door creaks open a bit, a wary green eye peeking through. Janus gives a soft gentle smile, assuring Roman it’s him. 

“Papa!”

The door then slides open fully and the twins scramble out and into Janus’ arms, sending them all to the floor. He’s glad his twins are safe and okay. The monster failed to lay its hands on them again.

“It’s alright. I’m here now. What were you doing in the closet, my little royals?” Janus asks, holding them both.

“Ree said it was too loud so we hid in the closet. When we heard footsteps and louder yelling, I shut the door. Just in case. I’m sorry if we broke any rules, Papa.” Roman explains.

Janus shakes his head and smiles softly, squeezing both his twins comfortingly.

“You didn’t break any rules. I’m glad you protected your little brother. Hopefully we never have to play the quiet game ever again but for today, you and Remus were brave.” he says.

Sure, they’re only eight and have been through four years of hell but he knows his boys are getting stronger and stronger each day. He knows they’ll make it to a much safer place than here. Someday. For now, he’ll have to keep them safe for as long as he can.

“You were brave too, Papa! You fought the monster away!” Remus adds, smiling now. 

Janus huffs a laugh, ruffling the twins’ hair.

“Of course. I have to protect my prince.” he boops Roman’s nose and then Remus’ “And my duke. I love you very much.”

The twins giggle, beaming again. A sight Janus will fight to keep on their faces for as long as they all live.

“We love you too, Papa!”

[drwcn]

Hi! I hope you are doing okay with all the discourse going around. Im white and raised in a very white society so i will never have a say in it, but i was wondering, is there any way i can educate myself more in asian/chinese culture? Im aware i consume content thru western lens and because of that i dont really get all the nuances of the shows, but i would like to have at least some backround. Im guessing just watching the shows doesnt give enough of that, can you maybe reccommend some blogs or books to check out? (If you dont thats totally fine and im sorry if i said anything offensive)

Hey friend! Not offensive at all, no worries. Honestly, I’m not too sure. I think just keeping an open mind about things is a really good start. I’m not really sure which blogs to recommend but if I could recommend some dramas? Since it’s probably easier to watch a show then read a book?

《The Story of Minglan》 is a good one to sort of parse out the intricacy of historical Chinese society in the Song Dynasty, keeping in mind that different dynasties have different practices, so even amongst different time periods there were differences. 《The Story of Yanxi Palace》 is another good one for Qing Dynasty (circa 1740s) if you wanna get into imperial harem stuff. (Or you can watch 《甄嬛传》 or 《如懿传》 for harem stuff. I just think The Story of Yanxi Palace is the most palatable, most aesthetic, and most fun out of the three. The other two are kinda tragic?) There are other dramas but I feel they’re not as... accessible?

Chinese historical dramas come in 3 flavours: serious dramas, idol dramas, and those that ride the fence. What I mean by idol drama is...everyone in it is young and hot and the writing is eh and the acting is eh. More often then not there’s a lot of modern elements to it. The Untamed is so popular because it’s idol drama done really well.  (xianxia and wuxia genre used to be more quality when I was a kid, but now they’re kind of ehhhh.) I would say Minglan and Yanxi are both successful because they ride the fence. 

On the other hand, serious historical drama has A LOT of politics and can be quite dry especially if you’re watching it through half-assed subtitles. The actors typically are more seasoned, older. People jokingly say that idol drama is what mom watches and serious drama is what dad watches, and honestly given my parents’ tv habits...it’s pretty accurate 😂.

Some really well known ones from the past 20 years are: 

The 《铁齿铜牙纪晓岚》 series 1-4. I would only recommend part 1-2, 3-4 are not as great. This one has quite a bit of humour but it might fly over your head a bit because of the language barrier. The story surrounds a well known government official and scholar named Ji Xiaolan  纪晓岚, his frenemy and colleague the (EXTREMELY corrupt) prime minister He Shen, and the Emperor Qianlong. For better or worse these three are depicted as both liege and subjects as well as friends. Trying to see Ji Xiaolan and He Shen one up each other while Qianlong tries to balance his court and rule the country is quite interesting. I won’t pretend this is an easy series to follow, but it’s actually quite fun. 

《汉武大帝》 - is about Hanwu Emperor of the Han Dynasty circa 150 BC? He’s one of the most famous emperors of distant history. It’s basically about the course of his life and the many people that featured in it. 

《大明王朝 》- my memories of this one is very vague, but it is about the Ming Dynasty (the dynasty before the Qing Dynasty c. 1500,1600.) 

《The Advisors Alliance 军事联盟》-  2017 two-part television series based on the life of Sima Yi, a government official and military general who lived in the late Eastern Han dynasty and Three Kingdoms period of China. circa 150 AD. 

As a side note, a lot of serious dramas for a while now have been focused on the Qing Dynasty, just because it’s the last imperial dynasty before Imperial China fell into decline, WWI and WWII ravaged the country and communism happened. Even a lot of idol drama are about the Qing Dynasty (I feel like I should do a post about this, just to string things together haha). 

So for the Qing Dynasty, because they are Manchurian, their last name is Aisin Gioro or in Chinese Aixin Jueluo 爱新觉罗. Their earlier emperors are much more well known than their later ones and have been the focus of MANY dramas. (You’ll notice their names in the beginning spell very different than the Chinese names you’re used to, but once they take over China, the emperors’ names start to become more and more mainland Chinese and less and less Manchurian.) 

Nu’er Hachi 努尔哈赤/ Nurhaci - The granddaddy of Qing Dynasty, but was never officially Emperor of China during his life time. 

Huang Taiji 皇太极 - Nurhaci’s oldest son. He led the campaign against the Ming Dynasty but died before the campaign was over 

Fulin 福林, Emperor Shunzhi 顺治 - Huang Taiji’s 9th son. He is the real first Emperor of the Qing Dynasty. His uncle Duo’Ergun 多尔衮/ Dorgon was his regent as well as his commander-in-chief. Dorgon was the one who won the war against the Ming Dynasty and instated his nephew as the Emperor. Fulin was 6 years old when this happened, and now you may wonder why the fuck is that? It’s because Fulin’s mother, Huang Taijii’s widowed concubine Consort Zhuang (name: pu’erji-jite bumubutai  (pinyin) 博爾濟吉特 布木布泰/ Bumbutai Borjigit, Da-Yu’er 大玉儿) remarried her brother-in-law Dorgon. Whether Bumbutai and Dorgon were actually in love is....contestable. Certainly one of my favourite serious dramas that depict this part of history is《大青风云》. 

Xuanye 玄燁, Emperor Kangxi 康熙 - Fulin’s third son. Very famous. Very long reign. Serious drama associated 《康熙微服私访记》， 《康熙王朝》

Yinzhen 胤禛, Emperor Yongzheng 雍正 - Xuanye's 4th son. His reign was highly contested because some ppl believed he forged the succession document. It’s probably not true. He was an efficient emperor but very austere, very severe. Not well liked. The best serious drama about him is probably 《雍正王朝》and the aforementioned《甄嬛传》. The former is 100% politics and a fictional re-telling of historical events whereas the latter is 100% harem drama and 100% made up. 《步步惊心》is an idol drama about a girl who transmigrated back to this time and fell in love with Yinzhen. Lol. 

Hongli 弘历, Emperor Qianlong 乾隆 - Yinzhen’s 4th son. I think he’s the longest living/reigning emperor of Chinese history. SOOOOO many dramas were made about him or set in his reign. Of the serious drama category:  《铁齿铜牙纪晓岚》 that I mentioned earlier is really good. There are others but I won’t name them here.  《如懿传》 is a serious drama about his harem, but really terrible? I really didn’t like it (just my personal view). Incidentally it was released around the same time as《The Story of Yanxi Palace 延禧攻略》which is also about his harem and MUCH better in my opinion, because the actor for Hongli in Yanxi is much better skills-wise. 《还珠格格》was the OG idol drama about Hongli’s children. I gave a brief synopsis about it here. It was made in the 90s but damn...so nostalgic. 

There’s many more emperors after him, but they’re not as important. 

Okay yeah, so I’m not sure if any of this is really helpful, but definitely watching serious drama gives you much better context and understanding of Chinese culture than idol drama. I mean when the drama has flying and magic...the historical relevance sort of falls to the side. 🤣

ADDENDUM: I made a typo earlier. Fulin is Huang Taiji’s 9th son, not Nurhaci’s son. Also Abahai is Huang Taijii’s mother’s name (wikipedia lied to me on this one XD). 

[kanasmusings]

[Translation] Satsuki Aoi “Reincarnation” Drama Track 2

And here’s the final track for Aoi’s “Reincarnation” drama tracks~! I hope you all had fun because this was a very cute and fun drama track to translate~!  Oh! Also, for those who asked, I think Deea will be working on the 4th Season drama tracks for Kakeru, Koi, Hajime, and Haru XD I only worked on Arata and Aoi~ And probably Ikkun, too, when his gets released www 

After this is all infinit0 subs and cast interviews~! Please get ready to know Rei and Roa more afterwards  ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please just like/reblog them instead ^^

Oh! And if you can, please do consider buying the CD here to support the artists ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~! 

Track 02: [たった一人の兄として] “As your one and only older brother.”

  [0:00]

  ARATA/AOI: Hm…

ARATA: Looking at it on the tablet’s big screen…

AOI: It is, without a doubt…

ARATA/AOI: It’s Chi-chan…

ARATA/AOI: (sighs)

(Arata puts the tablet down)

ARATA: Alright, Aoi-kun. Let’s think about this positively.

ARATA: We’ve already accepted the situation.

ARATA: This time, we can deduce several things about it.

AOI: Meaning?

ARATA: First is this: The amount of uproar based on the truth that it’s just a misunderstanding of the picture in question will increase on the timeline.

AOI: Uh… I’m not too keen on having his profile exposed but… I also get where you’re coming from…

ARATA: Number two.

ARATA: That suspicion on “Satsuki Aoi’s Heart-Throbbing (Star Mark) Late Night Shopping District Date” has already been disputed by the agency itself.

ARATA: Everything’s leading to the truth and gradually, evidence will prove that we’re not lying.

AOI: I can only sense evil since you’re trying to make this into a full-blown case but… You’re right.

ARATA: Number three.

ARATA: Spring… has arrived for Chi-chan.

(Aoi buries his face on a pillow)

AOI: (muffled) That’s exactly it!!

AOI: (muffled) It’s a normal thing but I don’t know why I’m so shocked…!

AOI: (muffled) And you’re alright with this, Arata?!

ARATA: I’m actually not. I’m in extreme shock. I have proof, look.

ARATA: My eyes are so wide open.

AOI: Eh…? S-sorry, it’s hard to tell. In any case, you’re shocked, too, aren’t you…?

ARATA: Yeah.

ARATA: (sighs and then plops down on his seat)

ARATA: Thinking about it calmly… He’s been so cool for as long as I remember…

ARATA: He’s smart. He’s got a good personality…

ARATA: It’d be weirder if he didn’t have a girlfriend. I know that…

ARATA: But I’m still so shocked.

AOI: Yeah, that’s true…

AOI: I know I should probably congratulate him but I don’t know why I’m so shocked…

ARATA: This is, you know?

ARATA: It doesn’t sit well because Chi-chan doesn’t seem to be into that kind of thing.

ARATA: The impact of the “late night date” article being posted without notice is too huge.

AOI: Eh? Back in middle school and high school, I feel like I saw him with people who looked like they could be his girlfriend…

ARATA: (takes a deep breath) Really…?

AOI: Yeah… They were walking together and they were holding hands and stuff… I think that they were probably his girlfriend…?

AOI: But, that time it wasn’t really much of a shock to me…

AOI: I was only thrilled for him…

ARATA: By the way, right now, I’m really…

ARATA: I’m really a lot more shocked now.

AOI: Ah, I’m sorry somehow.

ARATA: (exasperated) Ah, forget it… For now, let’s just say I’m super shocked.

ARATA: I’m so shocked…

ARATA: Chi-chan is someone I admire, too. Though, in a different way from Hajime-san.

ARATA: And that Chi-chan is…

ARATA: Going on a “Heart Throbbing… Star Mark… Late night shopping district date…”

ARATA: Ahhhh!!!

AOI: Seeing a different side to Arata like this makes me feel kinda calmer…

ARATA: You traitor!!

AOI: In any case, sitting around here will do nothing. I’ll go call Nii-san and confirm.

ARATA: Confirm what?

ARATA: Like, the name of his girlfriend? Where they first met? (whining) I don’t want that!!

ARATA: I don’t wanna hear it. What are you gonna do if he talks of her sweetly?!

ARATA: I’ll be too shocked… I probably won’t be able to drink strawberry milk for a while, y’know?

AOI: At least, your sugar level will go down.

AOI: Alright…! I’ll go call him right away.

ARATA: Aoi-kun’s manliness is too much once he’s recovered!

AOI: (starts dialing)

(phone starts ringing)

AOI: Chi-cha—Nii-san? Um…

<——————————————————————————————————->

[04:40]

 RECEPTIONIST: Welcome! Are you here on a reservation?

AOI: We’re a group of three reserved under Tsukishiro’s name but…

RECEPTIONIST: Ah, of course! Tsukishiro-sama, was it? I just received word about it.

RECEPTIONIST: The other one is… It looks like he’s still not here, I presume?

RECEPTIONIST: Please let me introduce you two inside first.

AOI: Yes.

ARATA: Chi-chan’s not here yet?

AOI: Looks like it.

RECEPTIONIST: Welcome. Please let me handle your coats. Go ahead inside, please.

RECEPTIONIST: (to the staff inside) Reservation number 5 has arrived!

  (Arata and Aoi are walking inside)

ARATA: By the way, why was it under Tsukishiro-san’s name?

AOI: Because I asked him to make a reservation for us.

AOI: The net’s still in an uproar and I just that telling him about it before going to a bar would be a good idea.

AOI: The reservation just kinda happened while we were talking about it.

ARATA: I see. As expected from our capable manager, Tsukishiro-san.

ARATA: If it’s a shop he chose then, I’d feel safe in it.

AOI: That’s why.

RECEPTIONIST: Ah, no need to take your shoes off. It’s over here.

(The receptionist introduces them to a private room)

RECEPTIONIST: Now then, please enjoy your stay.

(The receptionist closes the sliding door behind him)

  <——————————————————————————————————->

[06:10]

  ARATA/AOI: (sighs)

ARATA: Oh yeah. Your “late night date” has stopped being the talk of the town, huh?

AOI: Why do you sound a bit disappointed? (wry laugh)

AOI: I’m glad that it died down before it turned into a bigger scandal.

ARATA: Kakerun and Yoru-Yoru uploaded a pic of you guys on that certain night so, it looks like that cleared the misunderstanding, huh?

AOI: Yup. What I was wearing and my hairstyle were completely different, too.

ARATA: Won’t it have been faster if you just uploaded a picture yourself?

AOI: I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t take pictures myself…

ARATA: Oh my, my~

AOI: (sighs)

AOI: I feel like I’m gonna be nervous about tweeting for a while.

ARATA: Don’t mind it. It’ll fall out of topic soon enough.

ARATA: That’s how rumors go.

AOI: Yeah…

AOI: SNS is fun and convenient but… It’s a bit scary, huh?

AOI: Things you didn’t even know about yourself end up being a big topic and rumors suddenly surface like what happened the other day…

ARATA: Just one mistake or one wrong impression can send comments flooding, huh.

AOI: Yeah.

AOI: I don’t know if it’s good or bad but, the rate at how fast information spreads is getting too fast, I think.

ARATA: People all over the world are connected in one click so, rumors, topics, and even comments can happen in a flash.

AOI: That sort of speed makes me feel dizzy sometimes…

ARATA: You don’t have to force yourself to catch up to it, you know? Why not just use it at your own pace?

AOI: You’re right. I know that but… It’s just, I can’t seem to…

AOI: But, you’re good at using the net in your daily life, aren’t you?

AOI: I’m so jealous.

AOI: I mean, even when I tweet normal stuff, I worry about whether I made a typo or any mistake.

AOI: Or stuff like, “is this going to be misunderstood?”

AOI: I get nervous pressing the “tweet” button every time.

ARATA: Even when just saying “Good morning?”

AOI: Even so.

ARATA: Isn’t that tiring?

AOI: I won’t call it tiring but, I’m aware that it is an irrational fear.

AOI: I want to try doing it like you, you know? With a carefree and sort of just doing it when you feel like it attitude…

ARATA: That’s how light my tweets feel…?

AOI: (chuckles) Ah, of course, not the content itself. It’s more of how you feel when you send one out.

AOI: In my case, I keep getting nervous even just thinking about what to write.

AOI: I guess I… I keep thinking about whether the people who read it will think it’s interesting… or something…?

ARATA: Aoi-kun, I think that you’re overthinking it a bit too much.

AOI: I think so, too.

ARATA:  I’ll say this again. You don’t have to think about it too much.

ARATA: There are a lot of simple things out there to say. Like, “good morning~” “good night” or even “I ate something delicious~” you know?

ARATA: Just take it easy and tweet short stuff.

AOI: Take it easy…?

ARATA: Yeah, exactly. I mean, it’s just tweeting, you know?

ARATA: You’re not particularly writing an essay or something.

AOI: You have a point…

ARATA: Plus, if you keep worrying about what you say, doesn’t your serious side just show up more?

ARATA: Then, it’ll be okay. The fans already know that about you anyway.

ARATA: I think they’d be happy just to get a glimpse of what the Prince’s daily life is like.

ARATA: You don’t have to force yourself to do it. You can run away from time to time if you find it hard to use, you know?

AOI: Yeah… Yeah. You’re right. It’s exactly as you say.

AOI: I don’t have to think too much about something good to say and um… I’ll try to use it to just greet people.

AOI: If it’s just a greeting then, I think I can do it without overthinking anything.

ARATA: Ah, greetings sound nice.

ARATA: A “good morning” for the world~ A “good afternoon” for the world.

ARATA: I feel like that’s the best way to use it, too.

AOI: So… After this is our very private “fight” that we absolutely cannot upload online…

ARATA: Ahhhh…!! (whines)

ARATA: My heart’s not ready yet.

AOI: (laughs) And here you are, acting all cool a while ago~

AOI: I wonder why you suddenly turn lame when we’re talking about Nii-san.

ARATA: I mean, you know…? I feel like I want to know about Chi-chan’s love life… but at the same time, I feel like I don’t wanna…

ARATA: I really wanna know…

AOI: Which is it, really? Ah, but, I feel like I understand how you feel…

RECEPTIONIST: (from beyond the door) Please excuse me.

(the receptionist opens the door)

RECEPTIONIST: Your other companion has arrived.

ARATA: He’s here…!

CHIHIRO: Yo, Aoi, Arata.

CHIHIRO: Long time no see.

  <——————————————————————————————————->

[11:36]

 CHIHIRO: And so, the person, no—The people I was seen with in the picture are—

ARATA: Was surprisingly my sister, Uduki Yuuka…  

CHIHIRO: Exactly. And the person here whose head was slightly pictured is Tanaka-san from across the street.

CHIHIRO: This guy whose shoulder was the only part shown is Old Man Shibata. He’s—

AOI: Ah, the people here are not passers-by but, all participants of a drinking party…?

CHIHIRO: Yeah.

ARATA: Then, all the people here were in a neighbourhood mah-jong tournament?

CHIHIRO: Exactly. Yuuka-chan tried to hunt for new mah-jong participants in her company, too.

CHIHIRO: But, they all said that they only knew how to play mah-jong on the computer.

CHIHIRO: That’s how the neighbourhood people who had experience were pulled into it.

AOI: And you were called for it, too?

CHIHIRO: Yeah, I was caught. (smiles) I got dragged into it.

AOI: I didn’t know you played mah-jong, Nii-san…

CHIHIRO: Even so, I only know a little. I only accompanied my mah-jong playing friends back in high school.

CHIHIRO: But, I’m bad at it and I’m pretty weak.

CHIHIRO: I was even worse than Yuuka-chan who only started playing today.

CHIHIRO: I was so weak that they gave me the nickname “Kamonegi”… (1)

AOI: Kamonegi…? That’s cute.

ARATA: Guess I’ll ask since we’re all here.

ARATA: Chi-chan, do you have anyone you’d go on a late night date with?

CHIHIRO: You mean a girlfriend?

CHIHIRO: Unfortunately, I don’t have any.

CHIHIRO: Right now, I’m enjoying vet school and I’m pretty busy so, I’ve got my hands full.

AOI: I see…

AOI: So everything from the beginning up until now were all misunderstandings, huh…

ARATA: What’s with this exhausting feeling?

ARATA/AOI: (sighs)

<——————————————————————————————————->

[13:50]

  AOI: Arata…

AOI: I’m equally guilty because I didn’t notice, too, but…

AOI: It’s your own sister so at least recognize what she looks like from behind, please…

ARATA: Sis changes her hairstyle a lot so I can’t tell.

ARATA: Even though I can tell if I see her up front.

AOI: Well, even I can do that.

AOI: U-um… You two… I’m sorry.

AOI: I don’t really use SNS much so I didn’t know how much of a big deal it was.

CHIHIRO: Aoi, are you okay? Did you get in trouble with the agency? Maybe I should go and tell them—

AOI: Ah, no, that’s okay. They figured out it was a misunderstanding quickly, too.

CHIHIRO: I see. Then, that’s great.

ARATA: Aoi’s panic when we first found out was quite something though.

AOI: Arata!

CHIHIRO: (chuckles)

AOI: Nii-san?

CHIHIRO: It might sound imprudent of me but, it’s rare for me to meet you two in a place outside our hometown.

CHIHIRO: I was just thinking about how happy I am.

ARATA: You’re right.

CHIHIRO: To think that I’d get to meet my younger brothers who used to wear kindergarten hats and played with mud in a bar like this~

CHIHIRO: Even though I see you often on TV, on the net, or on articles.

CHIHIRO: It would be nice if we could create an atmosphere like this where we can talk with each other directly again once in a while, huh?

AOI: Eh?

CHIHIRO: I hear a lot about you from here and there but, like what happened the other day, there are bound to be some misunderstandings.

CHIHIRO: But, there’s no warmth in something like that, right?

CHIHIRO: Being able to meet you, feel your warmth, and talk to you directly is without a doubt so much better, is what I was thinking.

(Chihiro pats Arata and Aoi’s heads)

CHIHIRO: (smiles) Are you feeling happy? Are you doing your best? Are you feeling tired?

CHIHIRO: I’m your stupidly over-concerned brother so I wish that you’d meet me sometimes and make me feel at ease.

ARATA/AOI: Chi-chan…

CHIHIRO: Aoi, and you as well, Arata. You’re always doing your best, aren’t you?

CHIHIRO: You look cool and sparkling and I’m so proud of you both.

CHIHIRO: As a fan and as your one and only older brother.

CHIHIRO: I’m always going to be cheering you on, okay?

AOI: Yeah.

ARATA: Thank you, Chi-chan.

CHIHIRO: Ah~ Tell me all about your relationships directly before they turn into a scandal, too, okay?

AOI: Chi-chan!

ARATA: (laughs)

 ==END==

<——————————————————————————————————->  

Translator’s Notes:

(1) “鴨葱/Kamonegi” is Japanese slang for someone who came to play/gamble but they’re so weak/clueless about the game that it’s like they basically came just to “say goodbye to his money” XD

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work if you want. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

[fallxnprxnce]

PSA: Activity Update & Future of This Blog

{out of exile} *folds hands on desk and looks at camera* Alright. Let’s talk frankly about my rather long-term inactivity on this blog. I am still alive, heh, and I want to just explain a few things so everyone knows where I’m at with this blog.

I hope I still have some followers on here still and I apologize for the complete lack of activity on here in the past several months. I know you have heard this all before, and the truth is that I did not want to let go of Nuada as a muse despite not having much inspiration to write him lately. I still am not shutting down this blog (I can’t, it’s my main on this account and all other rp blogs of mine are sides of this one, heh), but I will need to do things differently going forward. I should have put this blog on hiatus but I honestly didn’t think I would be this inactive and for this long, so I dropped the ball on that. I am very sorry.

First of all, my inactivity has been largely due to these three reasons:

I have a lack of muse for Nuada. It has been a while since I had have muse for him, but I think I might know a big reason why. I will explain more in my plans for this blog once I explain the other two reasons for my inactivity.

I have overwhelming Marvel muse instead. I have three Marvel rp blogs now after getting caught up on a lot of the movies, and I am really enjoying a lot of muse, creativity, and just general love of writing them. I am active daily on @thiscrimsonsoul​ (Wanda Maximoff) and @fasterthanmydemons​ (Pietro Maximoff), and am active semi-daily on @notbigondoors​ (Vision). If you want to rp with me, interact via asks, send in memes, ask about headcanons, and all that fun stuff I used to do on this blog, heh, I am very responsive over on those blogs. That’s where the bulk of my roleplaying on Tumblr has been since around May. So feel free to interact with me and my muses over on those blogs if you like Marvel or have a Marvel muse!

Work being unexpectedly challenging this past summer and right now. For those who don’t know, I teach online environmental science classes for a university. Usually my summer classes are low key, easy, quiet, a breeze. This summer... was horrible. The students really did nothing they were supposed to do, there were so many technical issues, it was a mess. Then, as of the beginning of September, we switched online platforms for the class, so I have had to completely re-learn a lot of things that were second nature to me and that I used to be able to do very quickly. The result is that this has seriously eaten into my free time in an unanticipated way. So I am sorry that I promised more activity over the summer, but it just didn’t happen. And right now, work is kindof kicking my ass, heh.

Alright, so that’s why this blog has been pretty dead lately. Now let’s talk about where we go from here. If I do still have anyone following me that loves Nuada, still wants to interact, and is not totally furious with me for my low activity and poor time management with this blog, I do still want to keep this blog going. However, one of the reasons I think my muse for him is suffering is because this blog is kindof a mess. Specifically, my threads and drafts. I have 96 drafts for Nuada, and most of them are not pictures and memes, they’re threads. So many of these threads are with people who have deactivate, changed their blogs, no longer want to rp, or maybe some who do, but the threads are so old that at this point going back to them is such a daunting task. It’s a mental block for me that is really holding me back.

I cannot scrape this blog and make another because, as I said up there, this is my main on this account. But I think giving it an aesthetic overhaul will help... and the other thing that I know will help is starting from scratch with threads. I have hesitated to do this for so long because I thought it would really upset people, but I think I need to do it to clear my head, and at this point my inactivity has probably infuriated so many of you that I am not sure how many rp partners I even still have on here. So I think it’s time to do it. Therefore, I am officially announcing that I will be clearing out Nuada’s drafts with intent to start new ones with everyone. If there are any threads that anyone is absolutely in love with or threads that have been started more recently that didn’t get beyond an introduction stage, message me and maybe we can keep a couple of those, but for the most part, everything is getting nixed. I want a fresh start. =) I will be revamping the blog right after I finish a little project I’m now going to talk more about, because I’m sure some of you are reading to hear about that... 

Okay... almost done with this long post, heh. The other thing you are all probably wonder about: The “Nuada in Silent Hill” fanfic I was writing... Is that still a thing? Is it still going to happen? Yes, and yes. I will be honest, I did not have much time to work on it over the entire summer. I did here and there, but I just didn’t have the time. However, having said that, it is almost finished. I am up to the ending and I want to have it done soon. After that I will just need some time to read for typos, continuity, all that good stuff, and then I can start posting it in various places. So yes, it is still happening, and we’re getting close, people, I promise. XD I really like the way it’s turning out, and I hope you will like it too when you read it. I still have that post where I asked everyone to like it if they wanted to be notified when the fanfic was posted, but since it’s been a while, if you want to go ahead and like this post as well if you are interested in a notification, feel free to do so. I am compiling a master list of people to notify when I get it posted.

If you have any questions about anything, you want to contact me about any of our threads to save, or you have any other comments, concerns, or suggestions, I am here. =) Hit my Marvel blogs up in the meantime, though, because like I said, I am active daily on most of those.

Love you guys! Happy rping! =D

[starryblueeyes12-blog]

*Sigh*.... my story xD

@nicholas-dude​ --- I accept your challenege

(NOTICE: I apologize for any typos or whatever-- I have dyslexia and I tried proofreading and all that but sometimes I still miss stuff, sorry lol) 

(CAUTION: May cause intense feelings of cringe and uncomfortability)

I debated whether or not to even tell this story becuase.... it’s so horrible xD BUT it’s 10000000% the most embarrasing thing that’s ever happened to me, so I will anyways xD Might as well laugh about it, right? *painful positivity face*

Here it goes xD

I’m really into photography so I was on the yearbook committee in highschool. I also was really into this guy so, by being on the yearbook committee, there was always a disproportionately (fun word woohoo) large amount of pictures of him in my camera. And some of the pictures were taken when he had no idea... when I wasn’t even needed to take pictures for yearbook. OKay before you think I’m totally freaky, he just happned to be really photogenic and I happened to like photography and was always afraid to ask for models so just hear me out okay it isn’t as weird as it sounds o.e 

Anywho

One day I was at school and I was backing up the pictures from my camera to my laptop and I really quickly pulled up a picture of him I had taken (without him knowing because I’m a stalker) and then someone came up behind me and I panicked and shut the lid of my laptop and we ended up talking and whatever.

Next period, in a class with the guy I was stalking (lol), I had a presentation and my teacher eventually called me up to present. I’m a very nervuos presenter so I was already shaking by the time I got up there. I brought my laptop up because I had a powerpoint. So. *sigh.* I go ahead and plug my laptop into the TV through the HDMI cord and then I open my laptop. And the picture is still pulled up. of the guy. who is in the class with me. and it’s projecting on the TV screen. in front of the whole class. THAT. HE’S. IN. I choke a little bit and sweat buckets as I frantically (and I mean frantically) click buttons on my laptop to get my powerpoint up. My computer freezes and won’t respond. I was shaking intensely and everyone in the class was super uncomfortable and mumbling and murmuring and I was like trying to talk and explain as I was trying to pull up the powerpoint but I was like studrering and probably on volume 2. I don’t even know how the guy reacted because I couldn’t dare look at him. 

My teacher, to the rescue (10 minutes late-- idk it was probably like less than a minute irl), unplugs the HDMI cord and says “Okay, why don’t you go to the back, Grace, while you fix your technical issues” and someone else presented instead. 

So I fixed my technical issue and cried in the back of the class for the rest of my life xD

[croatian-nt]

Play a Part(Part three)

First, second part

Summary: Šime is trying to get over Luka and while he appreciates Dejan’s help, after an incident gone wrong, he is starting to realize things might get a lot more complicated with his best friend

Pairings: Šime Vrsaljko/Dejan Lovren, Daniel Subašić/Domagoj Vida mentioned, Luka Modrić/Mario Mandžukić mentioned

Word Count: 4496

Warnings: crying, mentions of cheating, mentions of hitting(can be read as abuse but not explicit)

Notes: This is so so late I know, I am sorry I had a writer’s block and the school started but here it is. Once again thanks to my wonderful beta @wordpuddle for editing this long ass piece and not hating me because of all the typos and ‘saids’ xD. Happy reading everyone ;)

Šime decided to get the hell away from that woman. His head was still spinning and he considered if she could be telling the truth. If she did, why didn't Dejan tell him he had a wife before this mess started? The bad part was, his mind supplied him with memories of Dejan having a bit of a crush on him from the start. What if he just didn't want Šime to know, so seducing him would be easier?   Šime pushed those thoughts away. At least for now. He wasn't going to fall apart in front of this woman, who seemed to be enjoying his stunned silence.   "He didn't tell you, did he?“ She tilts her head. “I guess it's easier to pick up guys like you if he doesn't say he’s married. But didn't it seem suspicious that he would be with you? Imagine the scandal. A singer having a male lover. Poor you, you must have thought he really loved you." Her cruel words each seemed like a poisoned knife right through his heart. Šime could barely breathe. How could anyone be this cruel? He didn't know. Until today he didn't even kiss Dejan because he wanted to. He had to get away from all this.

"You said your part. Get away from my property," he hissed, turning to unlock his door.

"Enjoy him while you can. It won't last. He always comes back to me," she said, turning a knife in his heart once more. "If you are here when I look out the window, I will call the police. Don't come back." He stared her down and slammed the door behind him. When he heard the clank of her heels as she left, he finally broke down. His legs gave in and he slid down to the floor with his back against the door. A sob escaped him. His head was spinning. He was barely able to catch his breath. Would Dejan really do that? Lie to him for months just to fuck him? Was he some sort of a challenge because he was in love with someone else when they met? Was it- His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. Even before he flipped the phone he knew who the person was because of the ringtone. Luka. Šime's hand was shaking as he held the phone but he just didn't have the energy to resist the temptation of hearing Luka's voice. Before Dejan came along he had been his best friend. And he almost lost him because of his feelings that were always directed at the wrong person.   No, Šime didn't have any fight left in him. He swiped to accept the call. "Hello?" he whispered, his voice hoarse from crying. "Šime I know it's late but are you alright? You and Dejan disappeared so suddenly and I was worried," Luka explained, sounding embarrassed. Šime forgot how observant he actually was. Or maybe he just knew him a bit too well. "I am fine Luka. Thank you for calling me," he answered but his voice cracked near the end. Shit. He must have heard that. There was a beat of silence and Šime could hear Luka's breath catch. "Šime, are you crying?" Luka's voice was calm. But it was that calmness filled with tension hidden beneath a façade. Like a wave steadily rolling towards the shore. Always reaching its peak before it comes crashing down. "No I am-" A tear ran down his cheek, interrupting his sentence. Then another one. He tried to put a hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs but he knew Luka still heard it. "Šime? Do you want me to come over?" Luka's voice was much softer now. Šime gave himself a moment to just breathe. Luka didn't say anything else. And then he finally breaks. "Please." He chocked out. "I'll be there in ten," Luka promised before hanging up. Šime tried to calm down with little success. He barely got his breathing under control when he heard a knock on the door. As soon as Luka saw him, his face shifted from mild concern to panicking. Šime's eyes were red and his hair a mess and Luka couldn't remember the last time he saw him this miserable. He opened his arms and Šime practically collapsed on him. Luka was glad that he was strong enough from all the training because it seemed Šime didn't have the energy to hold himself up anymore. He gently guided his friend to the couch in the living room so they sat down. Šime held on to Luka like his life depended on it and Luka's heart broke. He held him until Šime calmed down. " What happened? I have never seen you like this. Please tell me what's wrong." Luka begged. It was like someone cut the brakes and everything that happened just poured out of him, starting from Šime and Dejan breaking into Luka's apartment to Dejan's wife waiting at Šime's door.   Luka listened to him carefully, letting him get it all out of his system without interrupting. After he finished with the story, Šime felt so mentally drained that he was half convinced he was going to fall asleep before Luka managed to say anything. "Okay, so I know you are tired and whatever I say right now will just fly over your head. The one thing that I need to say is that you are sleeping in my guest room because there is no way you’re staying here when that woman knows where you live," Luka explained. And Šime was too tired to put up a fight. So he packed some clothes and got into Luka's car. They drove in silence and Šime let all the memories of him and Dejan slowly replay in his head. It was a sweet torture now, when he added the realization that him falling for Dejan was probably inevitable. Being in love with Luka was like being a kid addicted to candy - it wasn't healthy but with a bit of determination you could stop it. Being in love with Dejan?  It was like clinging to sweets when someone offers you a cigarette. It seems like harmless fun - something different, but before you blink you can't spend a day without smoking. Falling in love with Luka was slow and sweet while falling in love with Dejan was fast and all at once.   When they arrived to Luka's apartment, Mario was waiting in the doorway. Šime couldn't comprehend if he was mad or worried. Then again, Mario always looked mad to Šime unless he was looking at Luka. Šime saw that Luka and Mario did their non-verbal communication again but he was too tired and mentally drained to care. He just went to the direction of the room Luka showed him and quickly changed his clothes. He could hear Luka and Mario arguing but he could only make out few words that didn't make sense to his fuzzy brain. In the end, his tired body gave up and he drifted to sleep. If he dreamed of a singer with dark eyes he wasn't going to say that, at least not out loud.

The next morning he felt a bit better but there was still a weight on his shoulders that he just couldn't shake off. He could hear Luka and Mario quietly talking in the kitchen but as soon as he appeared, they quieted down. Šime felt like he was intruding a private moment. Mario's hand was on top of Luka's and Šime noted with a slight confusion that didn't bother him. If that had happened two months ago, maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. Oh, who was he kidding. The thought of being in love with Luka was the only thing that had stopped him from falling for Dejan earlier.   "Morning," he said after a moment of silence. "Good morning. Are you feeling a bit better?" Luka asked, biting his lip worriedly. Šime shrugged. "As much as I can, yeah. I guess it's not every day that you find out your pretended fake? boyfriend has a wife," Šime joked. What he didn't expect was hearing Mario chuckle. He wasn't aware that man was even able to laugh. Under two stares, one being Šime's confused one and the other Luka's adoration, Mario's smiled faltered. "What? It was funny. I’d say almost as funny and fucked up as meeting my childhood crush and best friend after 7 years, but I think you have it worse," Mario said.

"Well that one was kinda my fault too. Vida and I planned it," Šime blurted out before he could stop himself. There was an awkward silence after that and Šime cursed his inability to keep his mouth shut. Mario and Luka exchanged one more meaningful look before Mario got up. "Well, thank you for that. Good luck with... the whole thing, I guess." Mario replied. He kissed Luka on the cheek and left the room. Šime was suddenly very interested in the design of the counter rather than Luka. "Šime. I know this is not what you want to hear but you should talk to Dejan. I’m saying this to you as a friend," Luka started. "He didn't tell me he has a fucking wife, Luka. What is there even to talk about?" Šime interrupted him, shifting, moving his gaze to his friend. Luka sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. "Don't you think he deserves the benefit of the doubt at least? I’m not saying you have to stay with him if he doesn't have a good explanation, but I think he at least deserves a phone call if you don't want to see him," Luka continued. Šime put his head in his hands, trying to compose himself. His brain kept replaying Anita's words.

Dejan's wife. My husband.

It hurt to think about it. Seeing Dejan would probably hurt even more. "I don't think I can face him, Luka. We’re not together. It was just pretend. I don't know when I stopped acting," Šime whispered. "Šime, open your eyes. It was never a game for him and I am pretty sure that it wasn't for you either. If it was, you wouldn't have kissed him the second time," Luka trailed off, seeming a bit lost in thought before continuing, "Besides you don't develop those feelings that quickly." Šime knew Luka was right. But his stomach still twisted at mere thought of facing Dejan. He wasn't even sure what he was so afraid of. "I don't know...," he muttered. There was another deep sigh from Luka before he put his hands on the counter that separated them. "Listen to me. I’ve known you for six and a half years, and one thing I noticed is being scared of loving someone. You are not even letting yourself acknowledge you like, let alone love someone romantically. I know you will probably remind me of the letter you left me but before that: Tell me, when did you start to like me?" Luka tapped his fingers on the counter. Šime was taken aback. He didn't expect that question and he tried to remember when he started to have feelings for Luka. It felt like the memory was blurry, like looking at an old memory that almost seemed unreal. "I think... three, maybe four months ago?" Šime concluded. There was a small smile on Luka's lips at Šime's answer. "And when did you meet Dejan?" Šime could feel himself freezing up at the second question. The memory of meeting Dejan was very vivid compared to the one he was trying to remember just a moment ago. "Four months ago," Šime recalled. It seemed impossible for those two things to be so close in time and it felt like ages were between them. It didn't make any sense. "I might be wrong, Šime but I find it quite strange that you knew me for six years and never saw me as anything other than a friend, but as soon as Dejan appears you’re suddenly hung up on me." Luka paused peering at Šime over his cup of coffee. "Don't you think so?" Realization of what Luka was implying hit Šime like a train. "You think I never was in love with you," he whispered. Luka looked him in the eyes, trapping him with his gaze. "I think you were scared of how Dejan made you feel from the moment you met him. So you made yourself think you were in love with someone who - you knew - couldn't return your feelings. And it worked well. Until Dejan kissed you," Luka said. Šime just stared at him, trying to make sense of it all.   "And you are still scared - which I get. I was scared of how I felt about Mario too. But you need to stop running away, Šime. Give him a chance to explain. There is always time to walk away. But there isn't always for second chances." He explained.   In that moment Šime's phone rang, as if it was deciding Šime's fate instead of him. The name Dejan was on the screen and Šime looked at Luka for help. Luka only nodded, smiling slightly.

  Šime took a deep breath and accepted the call. "Šime, are you alright? You didn't answer my messages and I was starting to think something happened," Dejan’s voice sounded frantic, a little out of breath and tired, like the thought of something happening to Šime had troubled him for hours now and kept him awake at night. Could someone so expressive in all of his emotions really pretend he doesn't have a wife? "Šime?" Dejan repeated. "I think we need to talk. Could you... meet me at the docks? In like an hour?" Šime stuttered. "Of course. Are you alright? You sound," Dejan trailed off looking for the right word, "tense." "It's- I'll be fine. Just meet me there." He cut himself off, hanging up. It was all or nothing now. And those two were depending solely on Dejan's explanation. He just hoped he wouldn’t end up with a shattered heart.

When Šime arrived, Dejan was already waiting for him. His hair looked like he went through it a hundred times and like he didn't sleep at all. Šime could feel his heart squeezing for a bit at that thought, but he pushed it away. Now wasn't the time to be emotional. Šime stopped when he was standing opposite Dejan, making sure to leave enough space between them. With the secret he carried with him now, they were miles and miles away from each other. As if an entire ocean separated them. They locked eyes and his throat felt constricted. He wanted to ask but at the same time he didn't want an answer. He still needed to ask. "Why didn't you tell me you have a wife?" he croaked out.

 His voice didn't sound like his own. The way Dejan's face twisted after his words was like a punch to the stomach. Šime could easily see shock, followed by guilt. He felt dizzy because Dejan didn't even have to say anything. Šime knew it was true. "Šime, it's not what you think. I can explain." Dejan said hurriedly. Šime had to laugh at that even though it left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Wow. You really do sound like a cliché cheating asshole, don't you?" Šime snapped.

  Dejan's face twisted again in what looked like horrible pain now. Šime looked away as he felt tears gather in his eyes. Dejan didn't deserve to see his tears. He wasn't worth crying over. "Šime, please. I know I should have said this earlier and I understand you’re mad, but if you just let me explain-" Dejan's speech was interrupted by something behind Šime. Or maybe someone. Šime knew before she said a word. The ominous clacking of heels gave her away. "Isn't this adorable? Watch out pretty boy, he’s going to tell you he will leave me for you next. It's like he’s got a script. Adorable but a bit boring, don't you think?" Anita exclaimed. Poison was dripping in his wounded heart again. Šime could feel his vision blur and he felt trapped. It was like Dejan and his wife were tearing him apart by his seams. He was faintly aware of them shouting at each other but his ears were buzzing. He couldn't handle all this. So Šime did the other thing he was good at. He ran. He ran and ran and he stopped only at those stairs where Dejan had left him a few days ago. He was trying to catch his breath and his muscles were burning. He sat down on the cold stairs, putting his head in his hands. His eyes were still burning and soon tears rolled down his cheeks. He bit his lip, trying to contain the sobs that threatened to escape.

He was so concentrated on trying not to cry that he didn't hear the steps approaching until he heard a voice. "Šime?" Dejan's voice was careful, but Šime's head still snapped up.

 [I don’t wanna talk… about things we’ve gone thorugh. Dejan's face looked troubled and his hands were raised up, palm forward as if he was approaching a wounded animal. Šime felt anger light up in him again. "Get the hell away from me. I don't want to see you. Probably ever again," he hissed. He probably should have expected Dejan wouldn’t give up that easily. He came a bit closer and gently put a hand on his shoulder. What he did not expect was his own reaction. Tears started pouring down again and a sob escaped him. Even though he put a hand over his mouth, it was too late. He found himself wrapped in a careful hug. "Is this okay?" Dejan questioned quietly. Šime found himself nodding, not even knowing why. He was telling Dejan to leave just a moment ago.

Dejan wrapped his arms tighter around Šime and he felt the rest of his resolve break. He clung to Dejan but at the same time, between sobs, a few hurtful words escaped him. "God I hate you. I wish I could hate you. Why-" The sob interrupted him again and he gave up, hiding his face in Dejan's shoulder.   Dejan gently caressed his hair. "Shhh, I know. You have every right to hate me. God, Šime I am so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. To hurt you in any way," Dejan whispered. "Then why didn't you tell me?" Šime croaked out. He still wasn't looking at Dejan, his face buried in Dejan's shoulder. He wasn't sure if he could handle looking at him while he got that answer. "Anita and I never had a stable relationship. We always fought over something but I thought I was in love with her. Until six months ago, when we got into a really bad fight and she hit me. It wasn't anything serious but I just couldn't continue living with her." Dejan took a deep breath and Šime could feel him tightening his hold on him.

"We agreed we would get a divorce, but about a month later she started talking about us getting back together. I refused and moved here from Zagreb. She followed but I didn't talk to her in six months. And then I met you." Dejan stopped and Šime could feel how he wasn't sure how to continue. He squeezed Dejan's shoulder, hoping that will help him find the right words. "It was like I finally started smiling and laughing again after long time. I could actually feel the beat of the music I was singing too- it was like I woke up. But I was scared. At the beginning, it wasn't that important but as I started falling for you, I realized more and more that you’re already pushing me away and I- I was scared of giving you a real reason to do so. I am sorry. I was selfish," Dejan finished. There were a few moments of silence while Šime tried to process what Dejan just said. It was a lot, after all. He knew he had to say something though. He looked up at Dejan's eyes full of determination. "I understand why you didn't tell me. I don't think it was okay, but I understand. But Dejan. You’re still married to her and I really need to think about this," Šime said and gently pushed Dejan away. Dejan nodded even though Šime could see him clenching his jaw. "Could you... tell me what you decided? Even if you don't want to see me, well-" Dejan stopped, trying to compose himself. "I would just like to know." Šime swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes of course. I will let you know. In any case," he managed to voice. As he walked away once again, he came to the realization that he couldn't imagine his life without Dejan in it. It didn't matter if he was his best friend or something more but his life without Dejan seemed so bland. Without color. Ever since that disaster of a man came into his life it bursted into color.   But was that enough of a reason to get hurt if he didn’t leave his wife? Šime wasn't sure. He needed to sleep on it and think about it. He knew who to ask for the advice at least. One way or another it was going to be okay. *a week later* Šime was fiddling with his phone, probably for the hundredth time that day. He could hear Luka's voice in his head clearly by now Just call him already. You are both waiting for that. Šime was always bad at taking the first step and risking it. This was huge. What if he fucked up? What if he ended up with his heart broken? What if-

 No. He had to stop. He had gone through all of this already. There was no point except losing his nerves. He just had to jump right in and hope for the best. He dialed the number and prayed. He wasn't sure if he was asking for Dejan to pick up his phone or not, but his heart felt like it will jump out of his chest. "Hello?" Dejan's voice echoed in his head and suddenly he seemed to have forgotten everything he wanted to say. "Hello, Dejan. It's Šime," he said. He wanted to kick himself immediately. Of course, he knew who it was, he had his number for God's sake! Why was he so nervous? "I wanted to tell you that I decided. To...give this another chance. If you still want to. We can try and see where this goes. If your offer still stands, that is," Šime quickly explained, trying not to stumble over his words. "You... Are you sure Šime? Of course, my offer still stands. I just- I didn't really expect you to say yes," Dejan stuttered out. Šime had to laugh nervously at that. Dejan sounded exactly the way Šime felt. "I didn't either but if I’m being honest for the first time here - I can't imagine you not being in my life. Even if we just stay friends because of..." Šime trailed off, not being able to say ‘your wife’, "everything that happened I- I'd still like you to be here." There was a moment of silence again and to Šime it felt like it lasted for an eternity” to spice things up a bit. "Would you like to come over?" Dejan asked abruptly, ending the silence. "Yes. I can be there in... 15 minutes?" Šime answered without thinking, surprising himself. He knew they had a lot to talk about. All of the problems they had wouldn’t go away that easily. But he wasn't going to run away that easily this time.   He was done with pretending he didn’t want this. That he didn’t want Dejan. With playing a part in a tragedy he helped to make. "I missed you," Dejan breathed out. He supposed that was a start at least. Two people who wanted to be together. They could figure out the rest. "Don't worry I'll be there soon, dragi," Šime teased gently before hanging up. If they began again, maybe it wouldn't be an addiction that killed him this time.

 It might as well just be love.  

  *6 months later* Šime woke up before Dejan, but instead of quietly getting up as usual, he rolled over to Dejan. He smiled at his peaceful face before attacking him with kisses all over his face.

Dejan grumbled and tried to push Šime away but he just giggled, rolling on top of him instead.

Dejan opened his eyes just to glare at him. "What do you want?" he asked sleepily. "How does your first day as a free man feel, dragi?" Šime questioned, smirking.   A smile stretched across Dejan's face at Šime's words. "Well I am not exactly free, am I? I still have a bagudina of a boyfriend," Dejan joked. Šime gently slapped his arm, pretending to be hurt. "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out for breakfast. To celebrate." Now Dejan was smirking too. "I thought we celebrated last night...for quite a long time too,” he said. "Oh, I am sorry old man, I didn't know I tired you out so much that you can't get up today," Šime smiled, his eyes sparkling with playfulness. "You little shit..." Dejan trailed of flipping them over and pinning Šime to the bed. He kissed him lightly and only deepened the kiss after Šime whined.

They parted and Dejan smiled at Šime's flustered face. "We should get going. We’re not old men after all, and your cooking isn't to be trusted," he concluded, rolling to the edge of the bed. "You are an asshole," Šime whined, "and my cooking isn't that bad!"   Dejan snorted. "If almost burning the house down while making muffins counts as ‘not that bad’, then sure dragi." The continued their back and forth banter on the street too. While walking near the sea Šime spotted Anita walking towards them and he squeezed Dejan's hand in silent reassurance. It was over and she couldn't do anything about it. However, before she reached them, a man on the bicycle crashed into her, making her fall right into the sea. After the initial shock, Šime recognized Mario. "So sorry, Ma’am. Didn't see you there from all that shallow- I mean shadow," Mario apologized in an obviously fake tone. It took Šime one look at Dejan for both of them to burst out laughing. It was freeing to laugh and hold hand so freely. Šime also noted he had to thank Mario later but for now he would just appreciate the moment.

 All was well.

@lovren-la-vida-luka

@mvsicbookfrxndom

@kjldrv

@igecko1320

 @lovrenfc

@sad-forest

@roseszymczak

@snakesandcherries

 @domo-no-domo-yes

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@mrsmodric

@lukamodrix

@zadarskabagudina

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@wordpuddle

@ivan-peribitch444

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@flemishyugotalian

@living-lovren

@arduango

@winters-chiid

[kfawkes]

46. “I’m in love…shit” with Eggsy and reader. Something funny and fluffy with a nice kiss or two

[Oh man! Okay, I tried to be funny, but I don’t write comedy much hahaha SOOOO I think I failed at that part XD Hopefully you enjoy this! It’s a bit more in Eggsy PoV this time, but its a Eggsy X Reader as requested and on the shorter side

Pairing: Eggsy X Reader

Warnings: Cussing! Duh. 

Words: 1.2

— Read on Ao3!]

Eggsy was not the kinda guy to fall for anyone… He didn’t even have to really try not to either. It wasn’t that he couldn’t, it was that he didn’t want to. He’d been on some dates, had some flings and even managed to snag a princess for awhile there…

But none of it really ever stuck. No one really stuck. Maybe it was because it didn’t matter much to him, and they could see it. Or maybe love just wasn’t all that important to him. He had his mum and his sister to worry about and to care for, and dating was one of those things that seemed to muddy the water. 

He basically thought he’d spend most his life as a bachelor the way Harry did… After he died, that was even the plan for awhile. Especially with his responsibilities with the Kingsman as Galahad now.

Except, when he saw you everything changed for him. 

The first time he laid eyes on you, he almost couldn’t breathe; and if anyone knew how rank that was, it was him. It was too much for him ever to say aloud, but he thought about it. A lot. Especially when he was up late at night trying to sleep, unable to see anything but you… 

At first, he tried to ignore it. He would even flat out ignore you from time to time, which you found rather confusing. But you also didn’t seem to care much, which only made his ability to avoid you harder. Then eventually he just stopped trying, and decided to befriend you because there was no way that could be any worse than what he’d been doing thus far.

Only it was much worse than he could have imagined it would be. Being your friend was one of the most difficult things he had to do… Coming from someone like Eggsy that said a lot. For awhile there he cursed himself for being so damn weak and catching feelings for a fellow agent; but eventually just being your friend wasn’t enough for him.  

Just when he was finally working the nerve to tell you how he felt, you beat him to the fuckin punch. And honestly Eggsy thought he was dreaming or something equally as embarrassing to say. He wasn’t dreaming though, and he wasn’t hallucinating either because you did want him… and ever since that night each day that followed was one he spent as yours.

For some a relationship with a co-worker would not work. But for you and Eggsy, it seemed to only make your bond stronger– tighter. The ease and grace of your fighting was clear to anyone that had the privilege of seeing you two in action, and some even seemed a little jealous. 

It’s been months of this– months of you two, and he’s falling harder than he thought possible.

“Are we going to the cinema still?” You asked, pulling him from his thoughts with soft words. It was clear you’d interrupted a thought by the way his face shifted as it left, and you scrunched your face apologetically in response. “Oh… I’m sorry, babe.”

“It’s nothin’, luv.” He said as he walked towards you, placing his hand to the back of your head pulling you into a soft kiss. 

“Mmm, what’s that for?” You asked with lips pulled into a wholesome smile as he run his hand down the back of your hair and neck; petting you softly just the way you liked. 

“Need an excuse to kiss you, do I?” Eggsy smiled back, still lingering closely to your face as he scan each part of you like a landscape. 

The look you sent back only reminded him why he’d decided to give this relationship shit a go in the first place. Why he gave you a go… You didn’t put up with shit, his or anyone else and there wasn’t a thing you couldn’t do if you tried. Eggsy admired that, and everything else about you if he was being frank. 

To him, you were exquisite… perfect. Everything.

In that moment he felt a thousand pinpricks pressing into his heart and chest and for a second he didn’t know what to say or do. The day he never thought he’d see was here, and it had started ringing the ‘you’re completely fucked’ bell with tenacity. 

And Eggsy realized that he was in love with you… so painfully and unequivocally in love with you.

This was it… You were it. 

Eggsy slid a hand to your cheek, caressing your chin softly as he kneel to your level. You sent him another one of those beautiful smiles as you closed the book you were reading, giving him your full attention. 

Before he knew what came over him, he dipped his brows low opening his mouth to speak; only nothing came out 

You narrowed your eyes on his not even trying to hide your suspicion as you crossed your arms. “What is it, Eggy?”

If there was one thing Eggsy usually hated, it was when people called him that.

But not you. Somehow when you did it, he didn’t give two shits and he even liked it. Now was no different, and he felt himself almost overwhelmed at his realization.

“I’m i– shit… I’m,” He stopped again, choking on the words he wasn’t sure he should or even could say. “what I’m gettin’ at here is–” After a pause he sent his tongue to wet his lips before drawing in a deep breath. “I’m no good at this, am I?” 

Eggsy just clenched his jaw behind a nearly pained expression, and you were still very lost and maybe even concerned if the face he’d been making wasn’t so cute.

You stood and the blanket that spread across your lap dropped to the ground. He watched you make your way towards him without shifting his eyes once. Your hands were soft and warm as you placed them on either side of his face to rest lightly.

“Calm down, babe… Not good at what, now?” You asked sweetly, and he felt himself calming immediately as your scent tickled his senses. 

“This. Tellin’ you,” He paused again, but the second he looked into your eyes, he knew he could do it. “shit… I’m in love with you. Been since I met you, I think.”

You didn’t say anything to him at first, but within a second of him finishing you pulled him close, kissing him tenderly and he felt those nerves slipping away like water. 

“You think I didn’t know that?” You asked assuredly still holding him close, your noses nearly touching as he held you at the waist sporting a pure smile.

“That all you gotta say bout it?“ Eggsy mocked you playfully, pulling your hips more fervidly into his own with a cheeky smile. “Nothin’ else?”

“What else could I possibly have to say?” You asked back in the most sarcastic voice he’d heard you use as a mischievous smile spread across your lips.

“I dunno… mayb–”

“I…” You stopped to kiss his chin, interrupting him. “fucking…” he smiled as you moved small pecks along his jawline. “love…” Then Eggsy placed his hand to the base of your neck as you finished kissing his neck softly. “you.” 

You moved your eyes back to his, and he kissed you reverently as you slid your fingers through his hair, pulling it slightly. 

“That’s better, innit?” Eggsy whispered close to your ear, knowing just what it did to you every time; and you shuddered in his grasp just like he knew you would. 

Eggsy wasn’t really the type to fall in love… but you weren’t just anyone were you? 

[scenarios-on-ice]

Ah

well, because in Korea (like in some other East Asian countries) you’re automatically considered a year older on the new year no matter when you were born (which sometimes leads to awkward situations if you were born on, say, December 31st) so I’m 14 over here. However, if we’re going by international age I guess I’m 13? Once you live too long in Korea ‘Korean age’ and ‘Western age’ get a little confusing sometimes lol

You’re welcome! <3

“Haha, even if he does come back, good luck defeating you, ma'am!”

You, see, the thing about Ishida is that he’s unbelievably cruel when it comes to the TG manga but there’s also this…

“Who drew this? What a nice (picture)” (on twitter)

Fan: “Sensei, what kind of music does Urie listen to? Love from Mexico”

Ishida: “I’m curious about that too. (love) from Japan”

Fan: *sends sincere thank you message to Ishida on twitter with the Pepe the Frog meme*

Ishida: *Takes moment to figure out what the 'Green Monster’ is all about* *responds with a picture of Saiko wearing a Pepe costume* “Pepe Saiko”

(Comments next to a sticker he made of Black Reaper Kaneki kicking a table over like he did when interrogating Eto’s manager) “…he’s been through a lot”

(Next to a sticker of Shironeki cracking his knuckles) “Life must be tough”

(Next to a sticker of Nutcracker) “A cutie”

(Next to sticker of Uta) “Uta-san, I gave him a lot of my own hobbies” (WAIT WHAT)

(Next to sticker of Amon Koutarou) “For a long time, I used to call him “Koumon Tarou” (anagram for anal beads) in my head. But I did draw him a cover, so you have to forgive me.“

(Next to sticker of Amon doing pushups with some exclamation in kanji above it) "My goddamn lack of skill- I made a mistake in kanji while writing this sticker. Behold my lack of skill” #relatable

Since it’s a recurring trend in TG and the kind of stuff I find interesting (though I do understand why some people might not like it) I was fine with Mutsuki’s backstory, but I wasn’t fine with the aftermath of Torso’s treatment of them. Like, it makes sense that it would traumatize Mutsuki and make them colder like what Yamori’s torture did to Kaneki, but the thing is, Kaneki remained sympathetic because even with the cold, brutal exterior he was still portrayed as a complex, vulnerable character with some clear goals, strengths, flaws and reasonings for doing what he did.

Mutsuki, on the other hand, just turned into a remorseless killing machine. I don’t necessarily dislike where Ishida is taking their character and I think I get where he’s trying to go with this, but Mutsuki’s just too far gone to like as a person anymore. After recent chapters that reveal a new layer to their relationship with Kaneki I feel sorry for them, but they’re still not likable to me in any way.

I understand what you mean. A lot of people who say they’re for equality just end up causing reverse discrimination- “I support trans and nonbinary people so cis people suck. I support those who are gay, lesbian, bi, pan, etc. , so heterosexual people are disgusting. I believe in racial equality so white people are terrible.” That doesn’t really help anybody.

Ah, whoops! That wasn’t really a typo ^^;; I meant that Kureo (who I just refer to as Mado most of the time because Kureo makes me think of oreo and oreo makes me think of Urie, which can get confusing), Akira’s dad, died after she was already an adult so she at least had one loving parent who was by her side throughout her childhood. Sorry for giving you a heart attack XD

I do think Kaneki is going to die though. Not because Ishida’s dropped any death flags, but because that’s basically one of the main ideas this series is built around- that Kaneki’s story is a tragedy. The way tragedies usuall play out is for the hero to die at the end. Honestly, as much as I love Kaneki, if I try to imagine how this series will end I can’t see him still alive and well.

My personal prediction is that peace between humans and ghouls will come in one way or another, and Kaneki will die while/after achieving this peace (of course I could be wrong; this is just a feeling I get).

You know, I don’t know why my mind is like this but…

I just thought of Kanae singing 'Satisfied’

(Imagine Kanae’s ghost rising from the dead after what happens on the rooftop and haunting Kaneki with 'Congratulations’ like how dare you throw Shuu-sama off a building after everything he’s done just to see you again)

I think the reason I’m inclined to cast Kaneki as Hamilton is not because their personalities or roles particularly fit but because Kaneki’s behavior often matches with Hamilton’s? Specifically their tendency to ignore and hurt those around them.

Think about it. Throughout the musical, Hamilton, while caring deeply for those he loves, sees them through a very self-centered lense: he’s not selfish in the way most people think when they hear the word 'selfish’, but he still is. He dreams of dying for the revolution/honor when he KNOWS that his wife and Washington need him alive. He goes off to satisfy his own ambitions with barely a word of warning to Eliza. He’s so absorbed in his own work that he barely notices his son no matter how much he claims to love him, and ends up overworking himself into an anxious frenzy because he never thought to take anybody’s advice but his own. Then there’s Angelica’s constant 'He will never be satisfied’. It’s only after Philip dies that Hamilton truly understands and acknowledges that he does not live alone in this world and how his actions impact the people in his life.

Kaneki’s a bit like this too. he’s kind and empathetic, but there’s a limit to his empathy. He protects people because he doesn’t want to be alone; he doesn’t take a moment to think, 'is this really what they want? If they want to stay with me, should I let them? Am I being controlling? Do I have the right to act like this?’. It’s a selfish kind of love. He has the ability to keep his loved ones safe, but he can’t necessarily keep them happy. He’s so focused on protecting everyone that he often forgets to actually care for them.

Though their motivations and goals are very different, Kaneki and Hamilton both have that rather self-centered way of seeing the world and those around them.

(So Touka and Eliza also end up playing similar roles: Eliza’s “Helpless…look around, isn’t this enough?!” in Non-stop feels a lot like Touka’s last conversation with Kaneki in the first series to me.)

Oh dear XD

And thanks for the recommendation! I’ve heard about Love Live before, though I haven’t really considered watching it until now because it didn’t seem like the kind of thing I’d enjoy. But maybe I’ll check it out when I have the time! :D Same goes for Magi. 

Oh, I heard of that before! I think it’s a pretty interesting tradition, albeit a bit weird ^^;;

“I’m stepping down, I’m not running this blog anymore.”

Okay, that’s a joke, I will be updating, it’s just questionable how much ^^;;

Awww, that’s so adorable! I’m really impressed at how nice he is! And then he goes and does all that stupid shit in the manga… Goddamit Ishida.

Honestly, I think Ishida’s been taking it too far lately… I mean, I get that TG is horror and I can’t expect it to have rainbows and sunshine, but this is too much. I mean, you can’t even get to know a character well before they’re dead.  Oh you like this totally new character who has so much room for improvement who just appeared? Guess what! They’re dead!  There’s a fine line between making character deaths pay off and just mindlessly killing everyone off, and I think that it’s becoming very blurred in TG Or it might just be my personal dislike of character deaths, we’ll never know.

Speaking of character deaths…

ATTACK ON TITAN SEASON 2 HAS AIRED PRAISE OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARMIN ARLERT! 1st episode and someone’s already died… Well, at least it was a somewhat meaningful death. 

Oh, I see! That was a misunderstanding on my part ^^;; Sorry about the panic…

Yeah, there’s this thing called ‘The Tragic Hero Formula’. And it ends with ‘character death’, so it is quite possible that he’ll be a true tragic hero and die. I DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN THOUGH. I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO BE HAPPY ;-;

Hnnnngh, why?

Ah, you’re really good at character analysis ^^ Mine are usually ‘this character probably likes dogs’. But what you said is true, Hamilton is quite blind to other people’s feelings. It’s actually very depressing seeing how that is the thing which ultimately causes his downfall. I’ll have 17 hours in the plane tomorrow… I think I’ll listen to Ham again, if I won’t be sleeping or panicking because fuck flying. 

Love Live is a really nice anime! Have some gifs:

Don’t mind me, I just want to drag someone into idol hell with me. 

I look forward to seeing what you’ll watch/read next! No pressure to watch the stuff I mentioned, just watch/read what you like ^^ ((But I do suggest adding Boku no Hero Academia on the ‘to do’ list…))