#I’m sorry I cost us the match baby I’m just really bad at this

[eatyourdamnpears]

born to forage and find collectibles, forced to enter a shoot-out in the game tutorial you can’t skip past 💔💔

[angieblogging]

taylor swift lyrics as writing prompts ✧

[ w e b s i t e ]

fluff. ღ

“hair falling into place like dominoes” — blindly in love.

“sometimes i wonder when you sleep / are you ever dreaming of me?” — drunk crush confession.

“did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room” — words said moments before A kissed B in a crowded room.

“ocean blue eyes looking in mine / i feel like i might sink and drown and die” — first kiss that leaves you frozen for a brief moment as you admire.

“to live for the hope of it all / cancel plans just in case you'd call / and say, \"meet me behind the mall” — honeymoon stage of the new relationship.

“they'll take their shots, but we are bulletproof.” — forbidden love, romeo and juliet style.

“i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us” — purest form of love, unconditional love, risking it all, no matter the consequences or fears and ghosts of the past that haunt you.

“i can't decide if it's a choice: getting swept away” — is loving really a choice, if so they would’ve chosen it.

hurt/comfort | angst. ღ

“you said i have to trust more freely / but diesel is desire, you were playing with fire” — one lover changed, the other stayed the same.

“you did a number on me but, honestly, baby, who's counting?” — reunion of two exes, who broke up on bad terms and there’s still some bad blood.

“he says he's so in love / he’s finally got it right / i wonder if he knows he's all i think about at night” — past regrets and sorrows that keeps them up at night.

“lock broken, slur spoken / wound open, game token / i didn't know you were keeping count” — a fight that nearly costs you your relationship.

it was months and months of back and forth, you're still all over me like a wine-stained dress i can't wear anymore. — an on-off relationship that leaves them forever in uncertainty.

i lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules every day. — never good enough, smart enough, you can’t trick or prove much to someone who forever searches for the opposite.

“you called me later / and said, \"i’m sorry i didn't make it\" / And i said, \"i’m sorry, too” — end of something long dead.

don’t match elsewhere. ღ

“this love left a permanent mark” — a physical mark that love left on them to forever carry as a reminder.

“you make me so happy it turns back to sad / there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have / and you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad” — no matter what they possessed, it’s never enough.

[burner-of-ships]

i have some thoughts, but i’ll put them under a cut because it’s actually kind of long. sorry for using your post as a springboard OP, but hopefully i can answer anon’s questions a bit.

so i think a lot of people like Agamemnon for the moral complexity and tragedy of his actions. he clearly loved Iphigenia dearly, and really struggled with the idea of sacrificing her, but his hand was forced, if he refused he would have had a riot on his hands and would be breaking his vow to defend Helen’s husband, and said husband, his brother Menelaus, was pushing him to do it. he’s also a very deeply flawed man, as OP said. he makes a lot of bad decisions, and that makes him human.

if it makes you feel any better, in some versions of the myth Iphigenia is switched out for a deer at the last minute, and her brother Orestes eventually finds her in Tauris living as a priestess of Artemis. whatever the case, she’s a symbol of the cost of war, and loss of life and of family every soldier faces in some way or another.

and yes, the whole House Of Atreus curse is really compelling to a lot of people. doomed by the narrative and all that. also the tragedy of him and Clytemnestra, they seemed such a perfect match in the beginning, a powerful couple with many children, and the dissolution of that relationship and eventual bloody end is so good. the tragedy of cathartic. a lot of people like to focus solely on Clytemnestra as an avenging angel figure in their story, but it’s not that simple either. really, she was just yet another person speaking over Iphigenia, who by many accounts consented to her sacrifice, and she deeply hurt her other children in her attempts to protect them. her intentions may have been solely to avenge her daughter and protect her other children, but you can’t ignore the adultery angle (Edith Hall has a really great line where she talks about the distinctions between womb-motivated Clytemnestra and clit-motivated Clytemnestra, which are just great words for the two minds she’s in.)

so yeah, hopefully my rambling has shown how Agamemnon and his family can really intrigue people.

as for the rapist bit… the answer is probably? rape was seen so differently back then and everyone seems to disagree on whether it’s okay or not to apply modern morality to ancient characters. personally, when it comes to things as serious as rape, i think we can. so, we can say for certain that Agamemnon took Chriseis as a war bride in the Iliad and then when he had to give her back, he took Briseis from Achilles, though he did say he never touched her. he also took Cassandra after the war and in some versions of the myth, had children with her.

but honestly, most of the greeks were rapists. Ajax the Greater had a child with a war bride. Ajax the Lesser raped Cassandra. Pyrrhus had up to three sons with Andromache. Achilles presumably raped Briseis, and also demanded the sacrifice of a young girl, Polyxena, a sacrifice Agamemnon actually fought to prevent in Seneca’s version of Trojan Women.

basically, if you hate Agamemnon for being a rapist, you have to hate the whole bunch. the only people you could perhaps make a case are the ones whose spoils aren’t mentioned, namely Odysseus, who has no mention of war brides during the Iliad and who took Hecuba, an old woman, after Troy fell, but an absence of evidence is not a very strong case. and Odysseus also killed a baby, so y’know. war crimes abound. the Trojans are the ones who were just trying to defend themselves and didn’t really commit any atrocities, but i’ve found that humans have a natural aversion to losing sides.

so yeah. honestly i’m not a huge Agamemnon fan either, and it took me seven years of being into the Trojan War to even get to this stage, where i can tolerate him. not liking him puts you in the majority, and that’s why i actually really don’t like people who shame those who do find him interesting. it’s almost like punching down.

sorry for taking over your post a bit OP. but in conclusion… if not likeable, Agamemnon is at least interesting, and no matter who they are, your fave is probably problematic.

Someone please explain why some people like Agamemnon? Like I'm seriously confused. Wasn't he a rapist, also had his daughter sacrificed

Maybe I have wrong sources. /gen

Idk about the rapist bit, I don't know enough about his lore. As for the daughter, he did sacrifice his daughter to appease the gods yeah, but he's a complex guy, and it wasn't clear cut. he isn't exactly my favorite but he intrigues me in that he does so many wrong things out of arrogance or reverence for the gods or a sense of duty, and it's like watching a man who's doomed by the narrative actively try to fight it and only pushing himself closer. His bloodline being cursed is also a funky addition to that, and a possible influence on his actions if you allow. He's deeply flawed and makes so many mistakes, but you can't deny that he doesn't care

I think that's the one thing about Agamemnon discourse I dislike, that people say that he didn't care for Iphigenia at all to have sacrificed her. The thing is that love he had for her is what made it a sacrifice, otherwise it wouldn't be anything more than a bull or bird sacrifice. The tragedy of it is that a child is killed for war, a man chooses to be king over being a father, a mother loses a daughter, and the curse of a bloodline continues

[kechiwrites]

katsuki, izuku, and shouto as types of doting dads

🌿 gender neutral!reader

🌿 sfw drabbles, lots of domestic fluff under the cut, 

🌿  warning: bakugo swearing, of course

🌿 w.c: 1.2k (approx. 400 each) 

🌿 a/n: thank u to my angel @mindninjax​ for naming katsu’s tiktok. sorry about the formatting, tumblr hates me.

katsuki

Bakugo’s kids are not spoiled, fuck you for even insinuating it.

Bakugo’s kids get what they need.

And what they need is a four tier bento box, every school day.

Insulated, of course, because “they aren’t fucking animals.”

And what starts as Bakugo just being a very attentive father, grows into you recording him coming home from his early morning run and grumbling while he puts on the frilly, lemon yellow apron your kids got him for Christmas two years ago, which grows into him carefully arranging a camera setup over your kitchen countertops, “because you’re the shittiest director alive, dumbass.” Which leads to the tiktok account dine-amight, where Bakugo uploads his intermediate-level character bentos, full to bursting with perfectly seasoned rice balls shaped like All Might and Hello Kitty, star and moon shaped fruits and veggies and occasionally, when your kids beg for them, Bakugo’s famous rainbow mini pancakes.

And of course a pro-hero with a reputation like Bakugo doing anything domestic is worth coverage and acclaim, blowing the account’s followers into the hundreds of thousands in a week.

In fact, people are shocked that Bakugo can even find the time. But he’d do anything for your kids, do anything to see them bring home empty bentos, bragging about all the kids drooling over their lunches that day. Anything to watch their missing tooth smiles when he asks how they were.

And if that means a couple of extra grocery trips at the end of the week and really early morning runs and gentle kisses on your forehead while you mutter and shift in your sleep before he starts the rice cooker, then so be it.

“Katsuki, they are not going to eat caviar. They do not need caviar.” Honestly, you were less surprised he was dropping it in the cart and more surprised your local supermarket even carried it in the first place. 

“They’ll eat whatever the fuck I give them.” He bites, pushing the cart just shy of too fast through the aisle, head swivelling back and forth for god knows what else. An elderly woman casts your husband a dirty look as he just barely swings the metal buggy to avoid her, to which Katsuki helpfully spits “Keep it movin’, hag!” 

“They’re 10!” 

“Doesn’t mean they need to choke down dry ass chicken nuggets and grape juice all day.”

izuku

Birthday party dad, the absolute worst party dad. Thousands of dollars on his kids’ birthday parties. Princess parties, pirate parties, any theme your kids can gurgle about liking and Deku has pulled out his tablet and is putting a pinterest board together before you can remind him that the twins’ birthday was two months ago. 

“We can get an early start on next year. What’ll you think it’ll cost to turn the pool into an ice rink?”

          “My sanity.”

        “Don’t be dramatic.”

Gets almost ridiculously bitter when the family across the street throws an All Might themed party when he knows, he fucking knows, they overheard him talking about throwing one for the boys months ago, But he is not changing his plan. Naw naw naw, your kids are gonna get their All Might party, they’re getting the All Might Party. Every single attendee is getting a vintage, tin All Might lunchbox stuffed to bursting with All Might merch; toys, branded candy only released in Sweden, keychains, those little retro bubble charms, anything he can cram in there. The yellow, red and blue bouncy castle he rented rivals the size of your house. And then, because there is not a soul on the planet pettier than your husband, he forces every pro hero he’s ever known to get in costume and take photos with the kids. He makes the one with the twins your yearly christmas card, then hand delivers it to the family across the street.

In October.

You bake apology pies for weeks.

“You know this is ridiculous right? Deku, she’s 2” you stress the number, pinching the bridge of your nose. “She isn't going to remember any of this.”

“I'm not listening, I didn't hear that, I am busy putting little princesses on cupcakes, a task you said you would help me with.” He’s grinning when he turns to you, and when you hold out your hand, he places a piping bag full of baby pink frosting in your open palm. 

Together you hunch over the kitchen island to ice and decorate twenty-four strawberry vanilla cupcakes, nudging and snickering at each other’s lopsided princess figures until the two of you are smearing icing on skin and tossing edible glitter into hair.

shouto

You know those “girl dads”? That’s Shouto. He takes her everywhere, takes pictures of everything that little girl does. School plays, holidays, playdates, you name it and there’s a dedicated, timestamped album that Shouto is begging to show every visitor, mailman and coworker. 

He prints them out, and maintains an instagram account filled with his favourite daddy-daughter moments, updated. daily.

Nevermind that he hasn’t used his own personal account in 9 years.

His favourite thing is buying and wearing matching outfits, carrying her in one arm. “Yes, I know she can walk, she’s very talented, she can do anything. She just likes to be as tall as daddy is.”

Whenever he picks her up from school, your husband slides her sweet little coat on and gently secures her into her car seat, right where he can see her when he looks in the rearview mirror. Then, Shouto drives your daughter wherever she wants to go. 

Wherever.

If it’s the zoo, they’re going, and they’re coming back with a gigantic, stuffed red panda to add to her own (not so little) plushie zoo at home. If it’s Starbucks, she comes toddling through the front door holding a VENTI, frozen hot chocolate frappuccino (no coffee, of course) and a brownie. Shouto asks them to make it special, he would never let her handle anything too hot.

“Shouto, stop. You’re gonna rot her teeth, she can’t even finish that.” Which is totally true, the cup’s as big as your daughter’s head. Not that she seems to mind, the way she hefts it up for you to see from the entryway while Shouto undoes her glittery blue shoelaces.

“I’ll finish the rest.” He shrugs, picking her up and plopping her down on the living room couch next to you, pressing a light kiss to the top of your head before shuffling off to hang up their identical winter coats.

He doesn’t even like chocolate.

“Why would she need a iPad?” You grab Shouto by his shoulders and make him look at you. 

“For…school.” His voice is quiet and subdued and you almost feel bad...before you remember your husband is clutching an $800 tablet he intends to give your 6 year old kid to his chest in the middle of an electronics store.

“Baby...she’s in elementary school…They aren’t even using calculators yet.” You try to pry the package out of his grip, steadfastly ignoring the gentle downturn of Shouto’s mouth at the development. 

“She’s very advanced for her age.” The frown is a full on pout by now and you shut it down as quick as you can. 

“No. Uh uh. Put that bottom lip back in. Then put the tablet back.”

It’s wrapped in shiny purple paper by December 19th.

🌿 join my taglist here 🌿

[blondthndrninja]

Drabble I wrote where Bepo learns about Nami’s past and realizes how similar she is to his captain. No pairings really, just feels. All the feels. 

“What’s this a map of?” Bepo asked as he looked at a piece of parchment that seemed much older than the others that were on the desk.

“Oh, that’s Cocoyashi. It’s where I grew up.” Nami said with a soft smile on her face, “My sister Nojiko still lives there.”

“You have a sister?”

“Well…we’re not biologically related but we were raised by the same woman. Actually there’s a picture of us right there.” Nami said pointing to the small frame on the desk. Bepo gently picked it up and looked at the two smiling girls standing on either side of a woman with magenta hair with blue-grey eyes who grinned at the camera holding a cigarette in her fingers.

Bepo was silent as he heard Nami talk about the woman in the picture, she had been a marine who had taken her and the other girl in when Nami was just a baby and left the Marines to raise them. Sadly, the woman in the picture wasn’t alive as she’d been shot by a terrible person and the mink felt his heart drop to his stomach.

Marine…shot…dying out of love…

‘Impossible.’ Bepo thought as he looked at the picture, dark eyes shining with unshed tears. Once upon a time he’d heard a similar story from his own Captain. His Captain who had been taken in by Doflamingo’s brother, a marine in disguise who had risked his life to save Law….at a terrible cost.

“Ah…sorry…I didn’t mean to make you feel bad!” Nami said as she noticed the tears gathering in Bepo’s eyes and then found herself being pulled into the large polar bear’s arms in a bone-crushing embrace. “It’s okay Bepo. I’m okay now…my village is fine. No one is suffering anymore.”

---

Bepo was unusually quiet when he came back to the Polar Tang. He’d spent the entire morning and afternoon with Nami, to gain some helpful tips on how to perfect his own maps.

“Oh there you are Bepo.” A voice said and Bepo glanced over to see his Captain leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. The polar bear’s mind drifted back to Nami’s story and how it had matched up with Law’s. His Captain had always been a difficult person when it came to talking about his terrible past but now he knew that there was someone who could understand and it filled the mink with hope for the Surgeon of Death.

“C-Captain…” Bepo’s black eyes welled up with tears and he grabbed Law in his large arms, “Oh Captain!”

“Hey! Bepo! What the hell?!” Law squirmed trying to get out of the mink’s hug, “Let go!”

“Oh Captain!  You don’t have to suffer alone anymore! I’m so relieved!” Bepo sobbed.

“Bepo! Put me down!”

[eremiie]

Okay but like imagine your paying at a store and the cashier is flirting with you. I feel like Eren would come and hug you from behind and kiss your neck infront of him or umm slip his hand in your shirt- AHHH ICANT anyways 😳😀 and he would just eye the cashier and just be “you wish this was you huh? 😏”

say less.

dill pickle chips;

➹ eren jaeger x reader

➹ general/fluff ish | 1.2k words | modern au

you stood patiently in line, your nervousness racking as eren wasn't back from retrieving bread from an isle in the store you were in. the person in front of you swiped their card, the receipt sliding out of the machinery and the cashier ripping it off to hand to the stranger, while your feet shuffled forward subconsciously knowing you were next in line.

"next."

shit.

out of anxiousness you bit your lip, pulling your cart forward until it was parked more beside the conveyor belt, slowly pulling your items onto it, your eyes darting fast between the direction eren headed, the cart, the belt, and the cashier.

"good morning." you looked up, the same voice from earlier spoke in a more relaxed tone, the cashier giving you a large smile, teeth gleaming at you.

"oh, good morning." you reciprocated his actions, your nerves feeling a bit more calm at the warm gesture as you placed the milk onto the conveyor belt.

"you seem a little nervous, you okay?"

your eyes flickered up to the employee, he was tall, standing above you by a good couple inches. dark fluffy hair hung in his eyes, but you could still see them, a dark brown that almost matched the intensity of his ebony locks. on top of his uniformed shirt he wore a black jacket, and when your eyes traveled to your items he was picking up you noticed silver rings adorning his fingers much like the necklace around his neck. you didn't even realize you were studying him until he let out a mock cough, his hand flying up to his mouth in a fist as he coughed into it to catch your attention.

"huh? oh, yeah i'm fine... thank you for asking, sorry." you shook your head and maneuvered to the other side of the cart to begin grabbing some of the bags to place into the cart. your gaze flickered back to the cashier. you wanted to tell him you were waiting on your boyfriend to come back, that he should be almost here soon (you hoped), but when you opened your mouth to speak only a small croak came out that made the cashier laugh.

"what are you apologizing for?" he grinned, small dimples appearing on the sides of his lips as he chuckled at you.

"i didn't mean to apologize, sorry—" your hand flew over to your mouth and your eyes flitted around the store, trying to avoid eye contact with the employee who continued to let out a small laugh.

"you're fine, i'm just messing." he scanned the bag of chips eren had threw into the cart earlier, giving it a once over before bagging it as well. "those are actually my favorite chips. you should try the dill pickle flavor— i promise it's not as bad as it sounds." he handed you the bag, and your finger brushed against one of his smalls rings that sat idle at the top of his fair finger.

"really?" you awkwardly laugh trying to keep the conversation flowing, but you couldn't help but notice you only had three more items for him to scan, and eren—

"she doesn't really like those chips actually, they're for me." your body jumped at the sound of eren's voice, envy lacing his tone as he eyed the cashier. he placed the loaf of bagged bread on the conveyor belt and then came back to stand behind you, hand snaking around your waist as you felt the anxiety leave your body at the stress of the possibility of eren not arriving in time.

"sorry i took so long, baby." he muttered as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, then using his free hand to turn your jaw and press a kiss to your lips, letting his linger on yours a tad bit longer, his eyes shifting to the cashier the second his lips disconnected with yours. eren pulled your body against his by your waist, while the two of you watched the cashier ring up the last of your items.

"oh? she should still try the pickle flavor, i think she would like it." the cashier's tone came off almost challenging, as he bagged the bread and began to hand it to you again to place in your cart, but eren's hand beat you to it, grabbing the bag and letting it drop into the cart, your body shifting with his as he moved. he was holding onto you with his other hand still.

"she doesn't really like pickles either," eren muttered something else under his breath that was inaudible to you as you tried to decipher the conversation between the two, a clear tension thickening that you could even feel through eren's grip on your waist. "isn't that right, babe?" eren's gaze shot down to your eyes, his viridian stare almost intimidating, as if you saying something he didn't want to hear would've cost you your life.

"...yeah, yeah." you said, eren's top lip twitching as if he was trying to contain a smile, him letting his hand drift further up your shirt as he pressed more into you, his lips connecting with your jaw then your neck.

"i know."

you avoided the cashiers eyes as he rung up your total, his constantly trying to meet yours for whatever reason while eren caressed your curves, trying to get the man to look at him instead, or at least look at where his hands resided, as if he was trying to send him a message about where he stood.

"your total is 65.76." you fumbled for your wallet, eren shaking his head but you were already handing your card to the cashier, wanting to get the interaction over with. his eyes scanned your card before he slipped it into the machine, letting it read the information. once he heard the beep, and after a couple press of some buttons he handed you back your card, eren watching intently. "thank you, ______." his voice almost enticing.

so he read your name on the card? touché, you could practically feel eren's nails digging into the skin of your waist, and you felt flustered. "mhm, thank you, have a good one." you nodded, saying your sentence with a smile much like the one you returned to him earlier. "eren, i gotta push the cart." eren walked you towards the cart still holding onto you from behind while you began to push it forward, the employee watching for a split second, and you wished he could pull his hair back so you could see the look he gave the two of you, then calling out another "next." more blander than earlier's tone.

"...baby, i'ma need you to help me something when we get home." eren blurted out while you strolled the cart, loud enough for the employee to hear as the two of you began heading towards the exit. "or more like help show you who you belong to." eren mumbled into your ear, only for you to hear before stepping aside and finally walking beside you instead of overtop of you, his hand resting on one of yours that pushed the cart by the handle.

your walking stuttered a little and so did your breathing. you'd be putting the groceries away a little faster than usual today.

[just-a-quirkless-loser]

What Did I Do To Deserve You?

ITS WHAT!?!

Alpha Dabi x F! Omega Reader

Words: 2.5K

Summary: Dabi finds out it’s your birthday

Soundtrack: ‘Safety Net’ by Ariana Grande ft. Ty Dolla $ign

Cuddling with your alpha, Dabi, is always the best. His smokey scent always engulfs your entire being as his strong arms keep you grounded against his chest. He always looks at you like you’re the best thing on this planet. Although, his snuggles are the least of your concern right now. 

Right now, you’re trying to figure out how you’ll survive another minute of the cuddling position he has chosen for this moment. He’s sitting on the couch with you straddling his hips, your body arched into him as he keeps on hand settled on your ass. The other hand is fumbling with a Wii controller, clumsily playing bowling. It’s actually kinda cute how much your alpha loves to play video games (you hypothesis it may be because of how he was treated as a child but, Dabi barely talks about his childhood nowadays). 

The problem, however, is that your alpha has decided to make you suffer. His hardness grinds into your core every time you try to move. You swear up and down in your mind that he does this on purpose to torture you for going to work every day. It’s pure agony laying there, feeling yourself get wetter and wetter after each second. 

Dabi, on the other hand, is having the time of his life. He enjoys the way your core radiates warmth on his dick. Plus, you’ve been at work so much lately that he’s barely had you to himself for longer than an hour before you retire to your shared bedroom and pass out from exhaustion. Your asshole boss has been keeping you in the office longer since you have a big project coming up. 

The alpha within him hates being separated from his omega but, he understands that you need your own independence. Thus, having this Thursday morning with you all to himself has made him incredibly happy. He thinks for a moment that maybe you might be sick (you only ever call out of work if you physically can’t make it) but you show no signs of illness. Then, his mind rejoices at the idea that you’ve finally agreed to quit your stupid job and allow him to provide for you; you quickly shot down this motion and told him you simply wanted to relax for once. He pouts. 

“I’m not giving up hope,” you giggle and kiss his cheek. Kissing him on the lips would be a dangerous game right now. 

“I’m sure you won’t, alpha,” Dabi’s nose flares. Glancing down at you, he runs his tongue along his teeth. Goodness, how have you survived this long in his lap? 

Your starting match with your mate is cut short by your phone ringing. You flick his nose on your way up and yelp as he swats your ass in retaliation. You look back to glare at him but he’s innocently looking at the t.v., looking up at you with puppy-dog eyes. Sometimes you truly cannot believe this same man works for the League. 

“Hello, Momma,” you sigh a bit as you answer the phone. You didn’t expect her to call you. 

“Y/N!!! Happy Birthday, my beautiful girl. How are you enjoying it?” you can hear Dabi pause his game. You silently curse your mother for finally deciding to be attentive to you.

“It’s going good, momma. I took off of work for the day,” by now, Dabi is silently staring at you. His tall figure looms over you as he mouths ‘birthday’ to you. You nod your head, wondering for a moment how the fuck his hearing is so good. 

“You deserve it. It’s such a beautiful thing to turn 17,” you sigh once again. You suppose you were asking too much for your mother to remember your age in addition to remembering the day she pushed you out of her vagina. 

“Momma, I’m turning 20,” you try not to let her ruin your mood. You try to be thankful that she’s at least making an effort. On the other hand, Dabi looks at the phone in disgust. You’ve never really told Dabi about your childhood but, he had picked up over time that you were in the same boat as himself.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry. Time is flying by so fast,” you just shake your head.

“Yeah, it really is. I have to go, ma. I’m getting ready to go do some shopping. I deserve it.”

“Yes, yes you do. I love you, Y/N,” you can tell she feels bad.

“As I do you, momma,” you end the call. You know it must hurt her when you don’t tell her you love her back but, you’ve never been able to tell her that. You care for her but, it’s so hard forgiving her. 

“IT’S WHAT!?!?!” ahhh, yes, you now have to deal with Dabi. It’s actually kinda funny how your birthday has just now dawned on his mind. However, you don’t dare laugh because you already know he feels bad enough for not knowing in the first place. “Omega, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I don’t normally celebrate it. My boss normally gives me the day off no matter how much I protest. I just wanted to spend the day with you,” you relish in the warmth of his palm as he starts to stroke your cheek. You stare into his deep, cerulean eyes, feeling yourself get lost. “Don’t feel bad, alpha. It’s not that important.”

“IT IS IMPORTANT,” he snaps a bit, nuzzling your head. “It’s the day you were born to be mine. I don’t know what I’d be without you.”

“You’d be the same, just a bit more aggressive,” you giggle. You have no doubt in your mind that your alpha would be single without you. It takes a special kind of person to deal with your Dabi. 

“That’s beside the point. Why didn’t you celebrate your birthday?” your eyes narrow as he speaks in the past tense.

“I DON’T celebrate it because I never got into it. I never really told you this ‘cause uh,” you rub the back of your neck in embarrassment. You know that you owe it to him to at least give him a good explanation. “Growing up, my parents were on really hard drugs. I mostly tried to avoid being in the house after things got bad so I was out working most of the time, trying to survive. I never really noticed my birthday since, you know, I was too preoccupied with taking care of myself. Then, the years started going by too fast till I just gave up trying to celebrate.”

“Y/N, Omega, look at me when I say this,” he cups your face in his hands, his nose rubbing against your, both of your eyes staring at each other. “Never feel ashamed of your past. Never feel ashamed to tell me things about yourself. I will never judge you. I love you so much, baby. Never forget that.”

“Yes, alpha,” and the matter was forgotten in your eyes. For the rest of the day, Dabi treated you like a queen (although, if you’re being honest, it didn’t really feel any different from how he normally treats you. If anything, he didn’t even let you walk). That night, he cooked you dinner and played with your hair the way you liked as he lulled you to sleep.

Once he was sure you were asleep, Dabi crept out of the bed. He watched you for a moment as you whined, hand-stretched out searching for your alpha. Your hand soon found his scented pillow and you decided it would be your ‘faux’ Dabi. It was adorable. Dabi made sure to snap a few pictures before sneaking out to the living room to make his call. 

“Dabi, this better be fucking good. It’s booty-call hours and I know you’re not calling me for that….unlesssss?”

“Giran shut the fuck up and listen. I want to use some of my money to take Y/N on a small trip for her birthday. Not too extravagant. She hates shit like that,” Dabi was already regretting calling the man. 

“When’s her birthday?” Dabi could hear Giran shuffling around with a piece of paper. He could imagine he was probably writing down information. 

“It was today. She just t-”

“What the fuck, Dabi?!?! How could you forget her FUCKING BIRTHDAY?! SHE’S THE BEST FUCKING THING YOUR SORRY ASS IS GONN-” Dabi had to cool the rage of his inner alpha.

“She just fucking told me, you old, senile bastard. She wasn’t even going to tell me. I found out because her good-for-nothing mother called,” Dabi was pinching the bridge of his nose. He was still pissed you hadn’t shared something so important with him. He was even more pissed at himself for not realizing sooner. 

“Oh...my bad. How soon do you want the plans to be made?”

“As soon as possible. I don’t care how much money it costs to get reservations and shit. I just want to treat her the way she deserves. Also, tell Shigaraki that I’ll be out of commission for the days you book. I mean it. None of you better fucking call me,” his voice dropped an octave. “This is my omega’s time. I’ll let you sorry fucks die if you’re stupid enough to get into trouble while I’m gone.”

“Geez, I get it. I’ll tell the others. If it’s for Y/N, we’ll lay low for a few days,” you had managed to weasel your way into the hearts of the group. Every time one of them had come to your home pleading, you took care of them. Hell, even Shigaraki tolerated you. 

“Thank you,” Dabi meant it. “I’ll let you get back to your sleep.”

Then, he was back in the bed with you. You knew nothing of what had happened and he couldn’t wait to see the look on your face when he told you of the plans he (well, technically Giran) made. 

                                                          ***

“Hell no,” why did you have to be such a difficult omega? “I have a job, Dabi.”

“Baby, it’s only a few days. I know you have more than enough vacation days saved up. Just let your daddy take care of you,” you blushed hard. You had been getting ready for work when Dabi told you he had planned something for your birthday.

“Dabi, I can’t just not show up to work. Plus, I have work to do for this project,” you went to step around your alpha when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest.

“No, you don’t. I already asked your boss and he said you can come. It’s only for a few days babe. I promise you’ll love it,” he was giving you his pout. You turned your head to the side knowing that you would cave in to his demands the longer he looked at his face. You must resist temptation. You must...you must...you...have never seen Dabi look at you the way he is now. He seems so excited for whatever he has planned. You can’t bring yourself to deny his excitement. 

“Fine. What do I need to pack?” Dabi rejoiced in your defeat, smiling down at you. 

“I’ve already packed for you,” your alpha pulls a suitcase from underneath the bed. Ahhh, so that’s where some of your clothes had gone. “I’ve already got the car outside all gassed up, Giran said he’ll drop by to make sure the house is taken care of, and I’ve got your favorite snacks waiting to be eaten by you.”

This man truly loves you with all his being. You spend the next hours napping in the car per Dabi’s request. Even though you’d never admit it, it feels so good to have a break from working in your work cubicle. Maybe, you’ll decide to take a few more days off more often. After you wake up for your cat-nap, you eat your snacks like a good girl, giggling at any of the stupid roadtrip games Dabi comes up with. 

Every time you ask about your destination, Dabi just shoots you a conspiratorial grin and tells you to “enjoy the ride like a good girl.” You squint your eyes at him the first few times as you think about reaching over to grab his dick. You decide against it, your self-preservation telling you that idea may not be the best course of action. 

The day is slowly turning into evening but you don’t mind. The day has been immaculate at your alpha’s side. 

Eventually, Dabi tells you to close your eyes. You do so with no argument, ready to see what your surprise is (at this point, you’ve learned there is no point in trying to protest). You hear the car stop and Dabi helps you out, his hands covering your eyes as he walks you somewhere. From what you can feel, you’re somewhere with gravel. That revelation does nothing to tell you where you are. 

“How much further?” you whine. You’ve been walking for a few minutes now, every so often you stumble over a pebble, making Dabi laugh.

“How do you manage to trip and I’m literally guiding you?” you huff.

“Answer my question fool,” you yelp as Dabi gives you a quick swat to the butt. You rub the sting away and give him an imaginary glare. 

Instead of answering, he uncovers your eyes to the most beautiful thing you've seen in your life (aside from Dabi ofcourse). A log cabin stands in front of you, large windows spanning from the ground to the ceilings. It looks like it may be made of pine wood. Everything looks so polished and poised. But, that’s not even the best part. 

From where you stand, you can smell water. Walking a few steps ahead of Dabi, you can see a beautiful lake behind the cabin, the water glistening as it reflects the setting sun. Hues of magenta, tangerine, and candy apple sprays across the sky. Light is giving way to night before your very eyes and you feel yourself beginning to tear up. The sandy beach feels heavenly on your toes, the air feels calm and fresh, the lake still sparkling. 

You can still hear Dabi behind you as you wrap your arms around yourself. You try to cry silently but, you just end up full-on sobbing. No one has ever done something so thoughtful for you; no one has cared enough about you to do anything like this.

Your alpha doesn’t ask you what’s wrong. He just keeps you against his chest as he lets you deal with your emotions. By the look on your face, he can tell he’s done a good job by consulting with Giran. 

“Thank you.”

“Anything for my omega,” you grin. You’ll have to start letting him care for you more often if this is what he comes up with.

You both walk along the beach, laughing at each other when either of you trip on the mounds of sand. It’s another moment of calm that is reserved for only the two of you. 

“So, you do like the beach?” Dabi looks nervous as he holds you.

“I love it.”

“Good. It’s our beach now,” and, although it sounds innocent enough, you look at him with squared eyes.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I bought the beach,” give it some time to set in. Okay, maybe a few more moments of digestion.

“YOU DID WHAT?!?!”

—————————————————————————-

TagList💕

@sinclairsamess @sakurashortstack

[fallenstar1996-blog]

There comes a sad responsibility

With knowing what the world is really like.

This isn’t my first rodeo, to be honest I’ve seen the worst of the world at a young age and I know the taste of pain, of ripped flesh, of tears. I know the sting of betrayal and the crash that comes at the other side of idealism. 

I saw you coming from a mile away but I squeezed my eyes shut and said “I will believe in faerie tales just one more time, damned be the cost.”

Honey I am so used to be misunderstood, unsafe, socially isolated, not an intellectual match for the masses let alone an emotional match. Spiritually awake, tip-toeing among a culture that feeds on hate. I saw your light and in it I felt God. Many worlds collided and even before I ever tasted you I felt the echo in nearby dimensions.

A collision that create an abyss, I hung onto your coat-tails as my facade of a life sank into the depths.

I was burning burning burning. The idea of being understood and having someone to navigate this world with delighted every cell of my being and reintroduced me to parts of myself that I had thought had went offline for good.

The timing just isn’t right. You’ve got to heal and process your life. And I know I need to process the drastic changes in mine too. It would be doing myself a disservice in the long run to not navigate the ending of my relationship with my baby-dad carefully. To give it the ceremony it deserves. Perhaps this is my immaturity, my longing for reunification. I knew we needed to heal first but the sad truth is that I was willing to be unhealthy if it just meant I could have you. And I also know that you can’t HAVE ANYONE. People aren’t possessions. We don’t own anything, even the moment. But as I can intellectualize this truth, I sit here in tears because it hurts so bad.

I’ve known pain intimately and I’ve also known that it’s never gotten any easier. I thought about potentially casting a spell, but I don’t want to do that either. The moon’s in the wrong phase anyway 🥹 waning gibbous is for getting rid of something…

Your soul came and knocked on the door to my being. I felt your unconditional love and that you’re sorry you’re hurting me. And that you will be back. I fully believe that we will reunite when we’re better and further along in our healing, I believe it to be true - however my anxious attachment whispers softly - what if you don’t? What if this is it? I try to push that away.

I am aware that I have a certain sickness when it comes to love. And that breaks my heart and makes me wonder if it will always be this way, if I will ever receive temperance when it comes to this sacred experience.

I’m a mess but I’ve made it through the first 2 days of you telling me you need time to process and get better without hurting myself even though I really wanted to.

I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this but I am doing it one piece at a time.

The price of love. The price of being deeply feeling.

[bokettochild]

Hyrule’s “Magic Touch”

I couldn’t resist and I’m not sorry :)

Based on this post, I have no regrets.

 Groans sound around camp as Warrior’s knuckles touched stone.

 “Another win for Twilight!” Wild cheers, taking his earnings from the betting pool that had been started while Warriors rubs his tender knuckles, shooting his fellow knight a look of betrayal while Twilight laughs.

 “No shame, Wars.” Twilight jabs playfully. “Pretty boys aren’t meant to have strong hands.”

 “Shame.” Wind scowls, pouting as his rupees are snatched up by the cackling winners as Wild and Four divide them. “You just cost me thirty rupees!”

 “That’s not that much, Wind.” The captain sighs, wringing his hands and wincing, prompting a look of concern from Twilight for the briefest of seconds before the soldier turns on his brother, blue eyes twinkling. “As least my hands aren’t too pig to sew my clothes up properly.”

 Twilight rolls his eyes at the jab and squares up for his next opponent, breathing heavily as Time settles across from him. “Don’t hold back on me, Pup.” The old man teases, flexing his fingers and clasping Twilight’s boney hand with his own.

 Eager whispers joins with hearty cheers as the bout starts, both heroes straining against each other as they wrestle to knock the other’s hand to the stone beneath, veins bulging and sweat forming on their brows as blue locked with steely blue.

 One the edge of the camp, Hyrule giggles softly, his own fingers tangled in thread as he attempts to work over the tear in his tunic. Ordinarily, he’d ask Legend to help him, but the vet was currently seated on the edge of camp with a scowl, sulking for some reason that no one had been able to determine, and not even the rancher’s offer of a friendly match had done the trick. The offer had been taken by Four, who’d bested the rancher with a surprising bout of strength that had prompted Warriors calling foul, only for the all to discover that the smithy was, in fact, not wearing any strength enhancing items.

 “I’m a smith.” Four reminded them as he collected his winnings. “I swing hammers and lift heavy things on the daily.”

 Since then, each of the other heroes has tried their hand at beating the rancher, only Hyrule and Legend sitting out, the vet for his own reasons and Hyrule because, as the team healer, he needs his hands to be usable should something happen. He doesn’t mind though, even though he is of the opinion that getting his knuckles backed against stone would probably be better than pricking himself with a sewing needle time and again.

 For only the second time that knight, Twilight’s knuckles scrape over stone, the others counting down in frenzied shouts as the rancher strains against his mentor to raise his hand again.

 “Two! One! Time wins!” Warriors cheers, grinning widely as he bumps the old man’s shoulder, Twilight wincing and wringing his hand to regain some feeling as he offers the other for a friendly hand shake.

 “Good game, Pup.” Time chuckles softly, shaking the hand offered to him. “You nearly had me there.”

 “You won, fair and square.” Twilight shrugs. “But I’m beat you next time, pa.”

 Matching midnight eyes blink at each other as red flushes over the rancher’s cheeks, but Time only smiles at him, lips twitching upwards as he lightly squeezes the hand in his own before releasing it.

 “You’re both pretty strong.” Four observes, brows furrowing as he hands the grinning captain his winnings.  

 “They have to be.” Wind pipes up. “They’re heroes after all!”

 Their leader’s scarred face twists up in a grin as he meets the sailor’s silver-blue eyes. “But strength isn’t the only thing that makes a hero, Wind.”

 The kid grins right back, hopping to his feet so he can muse Time’s hair, surprising Twilight and making Wars shake his head. “I know that! After all, there’s no strength in a sword unless the one swingin’ it has courage!”

 Time’s smile brightens as he pulls away and it’s quickly replaced by a playful scowl as he straightens his mused hair, but Wind only laughs at him, easy and cheery as Warriors’ chuckles fill the camp. “Gremlins, both of you.”

 “Proud of it, Cap’n!” Wind blinks. It’s supposed to be a wink, everyone knows as much after seeing Tetra, but Wind is cursed with the inability to blink only one eye at a time, and no one, not even time, could properly explain to him how it worked.

 “The hand that holds it has courage, huh?” Sky muses aloud. “That sounds like poetry of some kind.”

 “It’s accurate though.” Warriors returns sliding down to sit between his fellow knights as Wild finishes stashing away his earnings in the slate, the champions eyes carefully not meeting Twilight’s betrayed expression that his own protégé would bet against him. “We used to say as much in the army, or rather, they did. Arty would remind me of it when I was feeling down.”

 “But what does it mean?” Wild cocks his head to one side.

 “That only those with a strong heart full of courage can wield a blade to it’s true potential. That doesn’t mean the triforce of courage mind,” The captain adds quickly when he sees Wild’s face fall. “Although it originated as a saying about the heroes of the past, it’s grown common to use for any who wields the blade. Only the bravest can face the dangers of the world as we do and come back alive to take on the next task.”

 “Like Legend?” The champion presses, cornflower blue swiveling to stare at where Legend is curled against a tree, staring into the forest with a stare that could set the forest afire.  

 “...Yeah.” Warriors nods. “Like Legend, like Time, like all of us really.”

 “What’s wrong with Legend.” Sky hisses in a soft whisper, so quiet Hyrule only just catches it from where he’s sitting on Wild’s other side. The captain only shrugs, shaking his head with a sigh as three sets of blue stared towards the vet.

 “Of all the things I’ve faced,” The captain muses. “I think only facing a newly woken Sky can best the levels of courage one would need to approach a grouchy Legend.”

 He laughs. “Legend’s not that bad! He’s just having an off day!”

 Sapphire, cornflower and royal blue all turn to meet Hyrule’s twinkling golden-hazel as the three knights stare at him in confusion.

 “He would tear us apart.” Warriors states slowly, and Hyrule can’t stop the snort that escapes him as he pulls himself to his feet.

  “No, he wouldn’t! Watch!” And despite the hissed whispers of ‘No!’ and ‘Hyrule, wait!’, he saunters over to where the vet sits and broods at the edge of the camp.

 The vet’s eyes are shadowed with heavy bags and his violet eyes snap indigo as they stare out into the forest, fingers rubbing mindlessly across his numerous rings as he sits and scowls at nothing in particular. Hyrule isn’t sure what set him off, or if it really even matters; some days they just get overwhelmed and need some space, but the vet doesn’t say anything when the traveler’s boots crunch through the fallen leaves around them, or when they come to a halt only inches away.

 “Legend?” Silence falls over the camp behind them as Warriors grips his hair with a murmured ‘R.I.P. Hyrule’, Legend’s empty eyes swiveling his way with a scowl. “Can I have your wrist?”

 “Why?” The vet scowls, but he’s already extended his wrist to Hyrule, and the traveler promptly grasps it in his hands and pulls Legend to his feet, startling some sort of emotion back into Legend’s eyes as he pulls his mentor towards the camp. “Okay, we’re walking.” Legend grouses, where are we going?”

 In the midst of the camp, eyes widen as Hyrule continues, unscathed by harsh words or swinging hands as he pulls Legend towards the fire.  

 “Sit.” The traveler commands, settling down on the ground and pulling Legend with him. Confusion plays across the vet’s face but he obeys, sinking down and crossing his legs beneath himself as Hyrule releases his hand.  

 “Relax.” Hyrule orders again, one hand trailing up to pull off Legend’s baby-blue cap and gently stroke cherry-blossom hair.

 As if under a spell, Legend’s shoulders lose some of their tension, the vet butting his head against Hyrule’s shoulder with a huff before settling into place. Squeaking snores erupt mere minutes later as the heroes of Hyrule stare in utter shock at their brother.

 “How!” Warriors exclaims, throwing his hands up as the others all blink and shake their heads in surprise.

 Beneath the weight of his sleeping mentor, Hyrule smiles. “Magic touch.”

[morkleemelon]

nct ideal types 2021 :: dream

127 version | this has been on my mind for a bit and I wanted to write it down- these will consist of confirmed facts and then my own thoughts. the latter part is, as it sounds, strictly from my opinion and observation and may well not be accurate. this is just for fun! proceed~

mark lee:

confirmed: likes someone with long black hair who is nice (on air nct show)

my thoughts:

he moved to korea to train when he was like 13 and has been busy as a bee ever since. I don’t know his life but I feel like he hasn’t really had the chance to date much if at all yet. this brings me to think he would prefer someone who can lead in the relationship

he grew up christian and seems to still hold those ideals. although if he really liked someone it wouldn’t be an issue, this makes me think he would be drawn to someone with similar ideals

he laughs a lot and gets along well with people who are funny (haechan, yuta, jungwoo). I think that he would like someone with a good sense of humor

he doesn’t spend money lavishly and prefers to use what he has (i.e. the jansport backpack, not having youtube premium, keeping all the gifts he receives in his bag). all of this points to him preferring someone modest and not wasteful

mark got jisung a bracelet that costs over $1000 for his birthday (what a good bro I’m cry). he likes songs like ‘I got you’ by Bazzi (mark superm quarantine playlist) which is about spoiling a girl. this all makes me think that although he is frugal for himself, he likes spoiling others and would like to spoil his significant other

From Japan official book vol 1, mark said he wasn’t sure what his ideal first date would be, but he answered that it would be to go to a restaurant and have a good meal because he likes eating. So someone who’s down for simple dates and perhaps also good at cooking (because our boy can’t even make an egg)

From the same magazine, he said he doesn’t care about fashion and would like his partner to “wear what she likes”. Doesn’t seem like he goes for style much!

huang renjun:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

I strongly feel like he would want to feel like the ‘man in the relationship’. he would want to feel protective over his partner and that’s why I think he would adore someone smaller than him

he’s full of chaotic rage energy (in the cutest way that would never actually hurt anybody). to balance out these vibes, renjun would match well with someone calm and sweet

looks-wise besides being a petite person, I can envision someone very cute, probably with shorter, un-dyed hair

renjun is into sci-fi movies and shows and confirmed he believes in aliens (weekly idol). I think he’d be drawn to someone with a big imagination who likes sci-fi as well

lee jeno:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

jeno is really really shy (when he met yeeun from clc to mc together, they said they couldn’t even talk at first because it was so awkward). I think jeno would like someone more outgoing but not overwhelming

I feel like his ideal type is literally like renjun- a little fiesty and literally, little. jeno has mentioned that he loves renjun’s voice too, so perhaps he would be interested in someone with a nice voice

he works out a lot and likes physical activities like biking and going to the gym. I think he’d like someone who values fitness and health too

he loves animals and has 3 cats of his own despite being allergic. because of this, I think he’d like a person who loves animals too

lee haechan:

confirmed: someone with a nice voice/ singing voice. someone with shorter hair

my thoughts:

he’s so extroverted and craves attention from whoever he’s around, and that wouldn’t be an exception for the person he likes. he’d want someone who looks up to him and gives him attention

he’s still really young and even enjoys movies like the kissing booth (I’m sorry I had to bring it up because I think it’s important). ignoring the actual bad parts of that movie, I think he’s interested in that young love, dancing together at the arcade, kissing in the rain, come over to his house in secret, type relationship

haechan seems to be especially close friends with foreign swaggers line (mark, johnny, jaehyun) so I’m thinking that perhaps he likes the western vibe

during oshiete Japan, he and Yuta were the only ones who chose to give three roses to a hypothetical ‘lover’ (they had to choose between 4 types of roses to give). the psychologist said that this means haechan is “flirty and attention-seeking” which makes a lot of sense. this adds to my point that he would like someone who gives him a lot of attention and good reactions

during a recent fansign (1/23?) OP asked “what are things girls do that makes you flattered?” to which he answered “when I did something wrong and get scolded, that scary look makes me flattered”. although it’s a bit awkwardly translated, this insinuates that he likes it when he gets scolded by a girl. *jaemin voice* sexayyy. thus, I’m adding that haechan likes a someone strong headed and not afraid to scold him

na jaemin:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

he has a sort of 180 personality where he’s either really energetic or prefers to be in the background. jeno says that jaemin hardly talks at the dorms after schedules because his social battery is dead. this is classic introvert behavior so I think he would vibe well with someone patient and calm

he’s the sweetest boy and he volunteers often for unicef and was even cast to sm while he was volunteering. he’d appreciate someone who shares similar values and likes helping others

I think he often doesn’t think or worry about himself. he goes out of his way to please others and help others and often disregards what he actually wants because of it (i.e. taking his shirt off at the dream show even though he was uncomfortable I’m so sad poor baby). he needs someone who is thoughtful and who reminds him when it’s time to stop and think of himself

looks-wise, I’m gonna be completely honest when I say I think he doesn’t go for looks. personality and morals are key

his favorite member of snsd is tiffany. he never confirmed if she was his ideal type, but perhaps he’s attracted to her bubbly, girly personality

zhong chenle:

confirmed: he’s only into girls (vlive)

my thoughts:

this may be a stretch, but in a live he was doing, chenle was talking about which member of wayv princesses was the prettiest. he said something along the lines of ‘ew they all looked weird’ but later admitted that kun was probably the only one who ‘looked okay’. kun was snow white which brings me to my first prediction which is that lele likes the classic chinese beauty (black hair, pale skin, elegant, gentle)

chenle loves winning and he loves to be praised. although his mbti shows that he’s an introvert, he would crave the full attention of his s/o. someone who looks only at him

during the from home live, he was asked to act out a scenario where he accidentally ate his girlfriend’s food. haechan (who was acting as the girlfriend) went “buy me 10 more” and chenle just went “okay :)”. ngl, kinda fell in love with him then but this makes me think he’d want someone to spoil

park jisung:

confirmed: likes it when people call him 오빠 (oppa) - take this how you will

my thoughts:

debuting at 14, I’m quite sure he hasn’t had the opportunity to have a relationship yet. this being said, he also seems quite innocent and shy which is why I think he would prefer someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to speak their opinion

just from vibes, I think he would wanna be with someone like a best friend to him. someone who’s down to just hang out and talk, play video games and watch movies etc.

he’s quite tall (the tallest in dream) so I think he’d actually be ok with a tall person maybe even around the same height as him

maybe not a definite need, but I feel like he’d be impressed by someone who can dance well since dancing is such a big part of his life

[dotthings]

Let’s talk about why Dean dancing with a lamp is subtext, but it’s subtext that supports textual arcs. Dean dancing with a lamp is not random. Meta on why Dean dancing with a lamp is part of the build of a textual arc for Dean, thematically, which also connects to his relationship with Cas. This symbolic moment being tacitly about Destiel will only feel like reaching if you ignore context, ignore canon, ignore long arcing, ignore textual material surrounding it. This isn’t just me talking about a ship, this is an important arc for Dean himself emotionally and the way canon’s working, Cas has become the star player in this specific emotional Dean arc about yearning. 

Here are some canon quotes. I could just leave these here and not write another word of meta because the canon wrote it for me. But I’ve added some further commentary to spell out clearly what I’m getting at.

Dean in 8.14 “Trial and Error” by Andrew Dabb:

“You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get.”

Dean in 10.16 “Paint it Black” by Eugenie Ross-Lemming and Brad Buckner:

“You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it....Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.”

Sam and Dean in 11.04 “Baby” by Robbie Thompson:

SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more? DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

Sam and Dean in 13.23 “Let the Good Times Roll” by Andrew Dabb:

DEAN: But on a beach somewhere, you know? Can you imagine? You, me, Cas, toes in the sand, couple of them little umbrella drinks. Matching Hawaiian shirts, obviously. Some hula girls. SAM: You talking about retiring? You? DEAN: If I knew the world was safe? Hell, yeah. And you know why? 'Cause we freaking earned it, man.

Sam and Dean in 15.08 “Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven” by Eugenie Ross-Lemming and Brad Buckner:

DEAN: Look, man, I didn't want to say anything, okay, 'cause I was kind of in in a bad place, and, uh, yeah, I didn't want to jinx it or whatever, but, you know, I tried the family thing, right? SAM: Yeah, me too. And that's not for us. DEAN: No, not really. But I'm just saying if it was to work, Eileen, you know, she gets it. She gets us. She gets the life. She's hot. SAM: Dean. I mean, I'm not even- DEAN: Look, all I'm saying is you- you could do worse, okay? And she could certainly do better. Like, so much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy.

Dean and Garth in 15.10 “The  Heroes’ Journey” written by Andrew Dabb:

DEAN: You know, I gotta say, aside from pincushion in there… this is pretty nice. GARTH: Yeah, better than I ever thought I'd get. I mean, hunting -- I figured I'd be dead before I'm 40. You know, go out young and pretty. But now I've got a great wife, great kids. I guess...sometimes things work out.

Dean in 15.10 “The Heroes’ Journey” by Andrew Dabb:

Dean, wistful, watching through the window as Garth and Bess dance: You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.

Ok, let those roll around in your brain for moment. 

Now: CONTEXT. CONTEXT. CONTEXT.

There’s this long running arc about maybe Sam and Dean could each find a significant other, not white picket fence, but...something, with someone already in the life, who gets their life. There’s Dean’s move from despairing and believing the only ending he could have, the only ending any hunter could have, is dying with a gun in hand, to Dean’s enthusiasm for the concept of retirement, Dean’s wistfulness about finding a significant other, for what he thinks he can’t have, and he starts the cycle all over again, if he can’t have it, then he wants Sam to have it, so Dean encourages Sam with Eileen. Saileen, the Dean-blessed, Dean-approved Sam ship. Dean ships it. And that is how the canon is trending, complete with Sam and Eileen kissing goodbye and saying “this is real” and even God himself saying their feelings were real, “that was all you,” even if God manipulated events around them. Which is an overt mirror to Dean and Cas and Dean’s expressly stated doubts about what’s real and what isn’t, and Cas telling Dean “we are.” 

Much the way Sam has been witness to Destiel, and has often pointed out Dean’s Cas feelings. Dean’s got a front row seat to Saileen and approves; Sam’s had a front row seat to Destiel and approves. 

Let’s throw in Robert Berens’ work in The Trap here, since that’s relevant to this specific topic as well, because why did Sam and Dean in the potential future timeline where they’d killed Chuck give up and cave in to their vampire instincts? The world being overwhelmed with monsters...and losing Eileen and losing Cas. It’s right there in the dialogue. I’ll give you the quote and everything:

Sam and Dean in 15.09 “The Trap” by Robert Berens:

SAM: You want to quit? What's happened to you, Dean? Ever since -- DEAN: Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we've ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy? Ever since I had to bury him in a Ma'lak box? Ever since then? Yeah. You know why? 'Cause the monsters -- they're everywhere. Everywhere! What we do -- it's not even Hunting anymore. It's whack-a-mole. We don't even save people. Every friend we've ever had is either dead, or they got wise and they packed it in. SAM: Jody's still fighting, and Bobby -- DEAN: Bobby has a death wish, and you know it. And Jody -- ever since what happened to Donna and the girls, she does, too. And after Eileen... so do you.

“Ever since” Dean had to bury Cas in a Ma’lak box. “After Eileen...so do you.” 

So there’s this canonical long, long thread across multiple authors (and those weren’t even all the quotes, I’m sure people could dig up more) about Dean in particular yearning towards finding a significant other, some contentment, with someone who already is in the hunting life, who gets it, who understands.  

An episode that flat out shows how losing their significant others is the final straw that rips out Sam and Dean’s last will to fight, and they lose themselves, and after they’re turned into vampires, they just...give into the darkness. Where Sam gives up their shot at destroying the big bad because losing everyone they love is too high a cost. Where losing Cas makes Dean lose hope, where losing Eileen sends Sam into a death wish mindset. Sam and Dean don’t just need each other. That’s not canon, it never has been.

And then right after that, along comes meta episode The Heroes’ Journey. Sorry if you don’t like The Heroes’ Journey, but it’s what the canon did, it’s textual, along with everything else I’ve pointed out here, and in among the crackish humor are some real emotional narrative points. 

In The Heroes’ Journey, Dean gets to see Garth’s life. Garth found his significant other, Bess, and she’s another werewolf. Now, Garth’s life resembles the traditional white picket fence idea a lot more than what Team Free Will are headed for. Garth has a big house with a porch, and he’s a dentist. He’s also a werewolf and his wife is a werewolf and his kids are werewolves because Bess is a pureblood werewolf, Garth didn’t exactly leave the life, and he helps Sam and Dean on a case. But nothing’s been indicating to me that anyone in Team Free Will is headed for that kind of settling down, with a house, becoming a dentist. However, the canon has been practically shouting now, as we near final episodes of SPN, to make the point about a desirable outcome--some kind of stability, contentment, and a significant other. Dean gets a front row seat to seeing a hunter can have that. Garth’s a hunter who turned into a werewolf and he can have that. 

When EP’s talk about how they aren’t headed for a white picket fence or driving off into the sunset or settling down, none of that rules out them finding...something...with someone, and some form of stability and contentment.  Nope, I can’t really imagine them in the suburbs becoming dentists. But canon sure is putting up big neon arrows to...something. Think outside the box. This isn’t about the white picket fence. 

And in The Heroes’ Journey, Dean, conked out on the good gas so Garth can fix his teeth, has a trippy dream where he dances with a lamp.

Rewatch the ep. Look at how the dance is choreographed not just the use of light, because that’s a clue too. The whole dance could have been Dean and Garth being dancing bros, but Garth fades off the stage, and Dean dances alone...until he grabs the standing lamp. In a season where Dean and Cas’s relationship is an A-plot, define it how you like, it’s A-plot. Their breakup and their reconciliation, which played like a marital breakup and reconciliation, are tied to major mytharc beats. In a season where a long-running textual theme about Dean’s developing hope for retirement and his wistfulness about “things...people...feelings...” is getting further play. Where Dean and Cas’s relationship continues to be one of the show’s most central ones.

Dean dances with a lamp. While his emotionally fraught, intense close relationship with Cas--A BEING MADE OF LIGHT--has a long-running arc and recently more and more textual level content spelling out the sublimated romantic interest in small words, while there’s an arc about Dean’s yearning for that stability, contentment, a significant other.

CONTEXT. 

We don’t think Destiel’s “going canon” because Dean dances with a lamp, it’s that Dean dancing with a lamp is kinda loud serving as reflection of canon textual arcing. Sometimes subtext adds a layer. Sometimes subtext is directly tied to the surface layers, an echo, a highlighter.

I’ll just be over here, crying because Dean danced with a lamp.

[vroomvroomkachowboi]

The Gift of Magi

smut, fluff, angst: fluff ig

pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem)

word count: 1.8k (1897 specifically) 

summary: it’s valentine’s day soon, y/n decides to sell something to get draco a gift, since she’s poor, she sells a valuable item to buy him something,  and draco’s gift relates to the item she sold  (this is based off of that one christmas story “the gift of magi”, except its valentine’s day and draco is obviously not poor)

warning: i think curse words, and i barely proofread my one shots so, and math sort of   

a/n: i hope y’all know what story i’m talking about because then it would be embarrassing for me lmao. (if you’re confused just search up mickey’s once upon a christmas, you’ll probably recognize it) omg the amount of math i had to do for this one shot is ridiculous,  but i’m actually really proud of this, also he won’t be very draco-like 

Valentine’s Day would be a lot sooner than later. The day of love would be here in 2 days and Y/n still needed to buy a gift for Draco, her boyfriend. Unfortunately, she was just as poor as the Weasley family. She felt bad, Draco loved to spoil her even on regular days, since the Malfoy’s were filthy rich. She just wanted for their first Valentine’s day to be perfect, she almost couldn’t send him anything during winter break. He, however, sent her many gifts that she wasn’t expecting. She just knew Draco was going to spoil the shit out of her for Valentine’s Day.

Thankfully it was Saturday, and she could go into Hogsmeade, and fortunately for her, Draco had to stay at Hogswarts to study for an important test in potions class, which gave her some time to go and look for a gift. The first place she’d go is to Honeydukes, she’ll buy him his favorite candy first and see how much money she’ll have left over and find him a suitable and cheap present.

When she arrives at Hogsmeade, she runs into Honeydukes and begins collecting all his favorite candies, she paid for them and left, trying to find a store that sold a good enough gift for her boyfriend. From the corner of her eye, she saw it.

The perfect gift for Draco.

Her friend had told her about a new jewelry shop at was right by Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop. She walks over the window to get a closer look. On display, at the window, she stared at the ring. A silver snake ring. It had a real Victorian style, the snake would loop around his finger 3 times, each scale was defined from the tip of the tail, to it’s end of it’s face, and the snake had emerald eyes. It was truly meant for Draco.

Her heart dropped when she looked at the price. 150 galleons?! How would she afford the ring, she only had 20 galleons left, and she had to save it for a while, where would she get 130 galleons?

She began to fidget with her necklace. A habit she did when she was nervous. It was a gorgeous minimal gold necklace with a moon on it. She found it on the street when she was younger when she visited the muggle world as a trip. Draco loved it as much as she did.

Coincidentally she saw a sign at the window saying “We buy jewelry as well!”, the idea popped into her head at that moment.

She walked in and saw the beautiful jewelry around her, she never got to go into stores like these since she barely had any money, she became so distracted in the beautiful earrings on display, that she didn’t notice a middle-aged woman standing right next to her, not until the lady cleared her throat for her attention.

“Hello, young lady. How may I help you today? Looking for something in particular?” The lady spoke in her strong London accent. Y/n blushed in embarrassment. “Yes. I’m getting a present for my boyfriend. I saw the sign, and I want to sell this,” She said, unclasping her necklace, and handing it over to the lady. The lady put her glasses on, which made her eyes look twice as large, as she inspected Y/n’s necklace. With a wave of her wand, the lady tested for real gold in her necklace. The woman looked at her necklace for a good minute before looking back up at Y/n.

“It is real gold. I will give you 140 galleons for this.” The lady said. Y/n eyes widen. That was a lot of money! She didn’t even know that she had something so expensive hanging around her neck for so long. For a moment, Y/n thought about saying no, but she thought about how perfect the ring would be for Draco and said yes. The lady handed her 140, giving her in total, 160 galleons.

“Is that all I can do for you miss?” The lady asked. “Uh, I saw that snake ring in the window. I’d like to buy it please.” Y/n said to her. The lady opened up a cabinet on her side of the table. “Size?” She asks. Y/n tells her Draco’s ring size and pays her the 150 galleons. Leaving her with 10 galleons left over, she leaves Hogsmeade and goes back to Hogwarts to prepare Draco’s gifts.

Valentine’s Day finally arrived. Draco had his owl send Y/n a letter, telling her to meet him at Astronomy Tower after the end of classes. She waited all day to see her boyfriend, unfortunately, they didn’t have any classes together, but he did say hello in the morning, and they both pecked before telling each other “Happy Valentine’s Day”.

But finally, the end of the day came, and Draco and Y/n planned on eating their favorite foods and exchange gifts at the Astronomy Tower. She ran out her final class, and into her dorm. She wanted to get all dolled up for the date, she did her makeup and put on a cute and date-worthy outfit, since it was a date and Draco was always dressed up in one of his black suits. Finally, she put on an outfit she felt and looked good in and she knew Draco would also enjoy it too.

She went up the spiral staircase that led up to the tower, Draco was there, leaning on the railing, wearing his all black suits. She let her presence be known as she ran up the stairs, Draco saw his girlfriend’s head pop up and smiled.

Before they said anything, Y/n ran up to Draco, and threw her arms around his neck, embracing him in a bear hug, he returned it by wrapping his arms around her waist. One of his hands made it’s way up to pet her hair, “Hey love, happy Valentine’s Day.” He whispers. She let go of his a little to face him but connected her lips with his, which he immediately kissed her back, holding her face with one of his cold, large hands.

“Come sit, darling. I brought you’re favorite, y/f!” He says and lets go of her. He sits on the large blanket he brought, and she sat on the opposite end, with their foods sitting between them. They talked and laughed for a while, until he brought up the topic of gifts. “Can I go get my present for you, my love?” She nods. He gets up and grabs something from a dark corner. He pulled out a huge teddy bear, a box of all her favorite candies, and a bouquet of all her favorite flowers.

She knew it. Draco did go all out for her, she can’t say she surprised. “Awe thank you, Draco! Wow, you didn’t have to get me so much.” She says. “But I wanted to darling. I love to spoil you, the look on your face is all worth it. Plus I don’t mind, I have plenty of money.” He says back. She gets up and grabs Draco’s hands, kissing both of them. “Thank you, I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.”

She saw Draco’s heart melt right there, she kissed him before he said something cheesy. As always, Draco puts his skinny pale hand to her face when they were kissing, something she always loved. “I love you.” He says as he pulls back. “I love you too, Dray.” She says, smiling at him.

He looks down at her outfit, “I forgot to mention, that I liked your outfit love. You walked in, and I thought I saw an angel.” She laughed at his words. “Thanks, baby. But enough with the cheesy compliments.” They both laughed at her words. “I didn’t get you as much as you got me, I only got you 2 things.” She pulls out her purse, pulling out all the sweets she bought at the shop. His eyes lighten up. “Awe love, you got all my favorites in here!” He thanks her and puts the baggie of candy down on the blanket with the food.

His brows furrowed in confusion. “Uh, wait. I thought you said 2 gifts?” He questions. Pulling out the box containing the ring, she hands it to him. “I really hope you like it. I almost couldn’t get my hands on it. I saw it at Hogsmeade when you were studying for the potions test. I saw it at the window, and I thought, ‘that was made for Draco.’” She says, suddenly feeling nervous about Draco if liked the gift she got him.

Draco smiled as he pulls the ribbon, and opened the box. He gasped and looked at her, and back the ring. He grabs the ring and slipping onto his left ring finger. “Oh Merlin, Y/n. I love it! But it looks expensive, how much was it?” He questions, suddenly curious since he knew she was just as poor as Weaslebee.

“I sold my necklace for it. I didn’t even know my necklace cost 140 galleons! I wanted to make our first Valentine’s Day perfect...” As she rambled on about the necklace and ring, Draco’s smile dropped, and Y/n noticed it. “What’s wrong, Dray? I know you liked the necklace but I did it for you.” Draco didn’t say anything, only to pull out a white rectangular box from the inner pocket of his jacket.

He hands it to her, and she opened it skeptically. Now she knew why he was so upset. To match her necklace, Draco brought her gold star dangling earrings and gold charm bracelet with the planets. Y/n didn’t know whether to be happy or upset, she loved her gift, but now she felt dumb for using her necklace to buy his ring. “Shit, Draco. I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry.” She says, she couldn’t even look him in the eyes, just stared at the floor.

“Y/n, I understand you don’t have that much money, you don’t need to buy me expensive gifts for you to show your love to me. I already know you do, I would’ve been content with the sweets. I love the ring though, I was just really surprised.” He says and uses his hand to get her to look at him. Her eyes were watery, she was at the verge of tears. “I just wanted to make our Valentine’s day perfect. You spoil me so much, I just wanted to do it in return.”

He whispers a “It’s okay darling, come here.” And pulls her in for a hug. She returns it back, just wanting to feel his arms around her. “I was gonna gift you this,” She pulls back to pull out her wand and whispers, “Accio photograph.” In just a second or two, a framed photo landed in her hand. Draco grabbed it and look at it.

It was a photo of them two the first month they started dating, they made silly faces and laughed in the photo, Draco smiled at the memory. “Awe, darling, I love it!” He says, throwing his arms around her. She does the same and apologizes again. “Don’t you worry, my love. I’ll just buy it back, for you.” He whispers and pulls his head back a little to kiss Y/n. “I love you, happy Valentine’s Day darling.”

[angry-geese]

Risotto Nero x Reader (Soulmate Goose of Enforcement au)

Warnings: none, sfw. minor goose related violence. Some light swearing, its pretty mild tbh. Gn!Reader

Notes: when it's time for two soulmates to meet, a goose appears. The goose is immortal, and cannot be deterred until said soulmates meet. The trouble stems from trying not to be mauled by said goose.

Tumblr ate this the first time i tried to post it so if you've seen this before I'm sorry, I'll have a new fic posted later this week

It's a beautiful day in Italy, and He is a terrible goose.

As a child, you never gave the idea of having a soulmate much thought. It was there. That's about it. As you grew older, you watched all of your friends and family find theirs and settle down, living their own happily ever afters. All of the typical ways people find their soulmate never came to you. No red string of fate ever attached itself to your wrist, no words ever appeared on your arms. The older you got, the less hope you had. Sometimes people were born without soulmates. Sometimes people's soulmates die, and they're left without one.

You're not sure which one is better.

You fell into the underground of Passione after a family debt. The protection fees were becoming too much for your family to handle. The gangs never protected anything. It was their way of trying to pry you from your home without outright killing you. When you stood up for yourself- what a mistake that was- things went wrong. It was your life, or a life of service. Do it or die. You became one of the cogs in Passione's well oiled machine, the gears that turn and run Italy's underground. Your life became replaceable.

You figured a soulmate wouldn't want someone like you. Maybe it was better if you didn't have one. Who would want a low-rate mafioso like you, anyway?

Risotto settled into the thought of not having a soulmate rather well. At a young age he was deemed the black sheep of his family, partly for his frightening appearance, partly for how hard he found it to fit in. He left to live with his nonna and cousin as a teenager, soon falling into the gangs after the death of his cousin. If someone was going to be born without a soulmate, it was him. His occupation didn't allow soulmates. Having a significant other would only serve as something else to use to hurt him. It's bittersweet, in a strange sort of way. As a child, he would run himself in circles trying to find his soulmate. But a partner would do more harm than good.

People like him don't get happy endings. That's a fate he's reserved himself to.

Risotto first spotted you from across the restaurant, your eyes locking for only a moment. You bumped into him, spilling a bit of wine on your shirt. Your eyes went wide as you muttered a slew of apologies. He brushed the entire event off. Truly, you didn't stand out in the crowd. From the very beginning, you had the wide-eyed, frightened look of someone new to this, standing among a group of people with the same traumatized look on their face. Really, he didn't give you much thought. He hated ceremonies like these. He hated having to wear a suit. He hated how open this place was. He would be noticed here, something that his job requires avoiding at all costs. Despite his discomfort, he's tolerated it this long. His team pays little attention as he walks outside, making an offhand comment about it being stuffy. The important parts are over anyway, he won't miss anything.

The crowd is getting to you.

Rarely you find yourself in a place so packed. Ceremonies like this are not commonly held. It makes you anxious seeing just how widespread Passione is. This isn't even everyone. Many of the higher ups- the capos and even the boss- didn't bother coming.

You head outside for a smoke. Your hands shake as you pull out a pack of matches. The cool evening air is a nice change from the stuffy restaurant. You watch as the sun sets over the ocean. A few sparse clouds float overhead, but the sky is mostly clear, painted shades of orange and pink.

To your left, you hear a menacing sounding honk.

A goose stands to your side, it's beady black eyes filled with malice. As unnerving as it is, you stay still. All it's doing is standing there, why bother it? It'll leave eventually. It's not like you're messing with its babies.

You absentmindedly shoo it away, going back to your cigarette.

Menacingly, it steps forward. Despite this, you stand your ground. It's a bird, what's the worst it'll do?

It takes a bite of the hem of your slacks, tugging of your pant leg. When you don't immediately respond, it chomps on your ankle. The bite draws blood, causing you to recoil, and step back. The cry you let out is pitiful. After a second, you regain your composure, now filled with unbridled rage.

"Piss off ya feathered fuck!" You say. You'd feel bad swinging at it, but it's clearly out for blood. It's awfully bold for something that doesn't even reach your knees.

Risotto emerges from the restaurant to find you being attacked by a goose.

He simply watches the event unfold from the safety of the patio. You flee in his direction, collapsing on the stones at his feet. Warm blood trickles down your leg, staining your sock and shoe. He's merely watching, up until he puts some distance between the two of you and your avian attacker charges. Risotto isn't scared, more than he's caught off guard. Animals tend to be afraid of him. Maybe they could tell what he did for a living.

The evil goose gives one last hiss before stepping back, nodding it's small head. The second either of you try to step away, its charging, hissing as if it's out for more blood.

You glace from it, to Risotto, then back to it.

When you stand, he towers nearly a foot over your head. Black eyes glare down at you. You want to shrink and hide under his gaze. He feels familiar. His very presence is comforting in a bizarre sort of way.

You've heard of this- one of the rarest ways to find a soulmate. There's no real explanation behind it. There's no reason behind the others, but they tend to make more sense than this. When it's time for someone to find their soulmate, a goose appears. The difficulty comes from trying not to be mauled by said goose. The goose is immortal, and cannot be killed or deterred until two soulmates find each other. That's it that's the au.

"You're my... soulmate?" You say. It comes out as more of a question.

Him? Seriously?

"I guess so."

His voice is quiet. It's very deep and would be intimidating had the circumstances been different. He helps you to your feet, holding your hands in his. He offers his arm out to you. You take it, leaning against him. He's rather warm. You brush some of the dirt off. He takes a moment, giving you a once over for any more injuries. You appear fine, despite your damaged pride.

It makes him wonder what group you'll be assigned to. Probably Bucciarati's. You seem far too meek for his team or the guard. In a way, the thought is comforting. A smaller group would be less dangerous than his.

"I'm Risotto." He says, even quieter.

Despite the comical circumstances, his heart races. He has a soulmate. A million questions are going through his head. 90% of them are asking "is that seriously a goose?"

"Y/N." You dust yourself off a bit. He commits the sound of your name to memory. "Wait why the fuck are you named after rice?!"

"Don't worry about it." He says. The corners of his mouth tug into a smile. You simply shrug.

"I think I need a band-aid." You say.

Slowly the goose waddles off, setting out for it's next victims.

[adonis-koo]

Blue Spring

| 3 |

↳ Summary: Jeon Jungkook, only well known as the youngest (and hottest) dad at the daycare, he’s got it all, the looks, the sweetheart personality, the body, but here’s what gets everyone- he doesn’t wear a wedding ring. The only problem lies in his fickle one year old daughter that hates just about every daycare worker out there…Well…besides you that is. Which of course leads to Jungkook liking you just as much as his daughter…if not maybe a little too much.

Or in other words…You and Jungkook are secretly crushing on one another but too shy to admit it.

↳ Pairing: Single dad!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Daycare AU, Slice of life, copious amounts of fluff, a hair of angst, future smut

Word Count: 6k

Previous | Next

The next day came just as quick as the last and just as anticipated Seo Yeon had came to pick Mina up, shooting you a nasty sneer, you did your best to keep a straight face as you watched Mina screech at being pulled away from you, her little arms pitifully reaching for you as fat tears rolled down her face. Her mom ignored her cries as she grabbed Mina’s backpack and left.

Sighing you leaned against your seat before tutting, Jungkook really wasn’t joking about her not liking her mom.

After you had finished shift you planned on grabbing some fast food before heading back for the dorm to study up on your upcoming test, your phone had sudden alerted you to a new text, pausing in the parking lot you glanced at the phone as you furrowed your brows, was one of your roommates going to ask you to get something for them? You had told them if anyone wanted anything to shoot you a text as you were all going to study together but…

You felt a non expect sweat break on your neck at the sight of who it was from.

[Jungkook 06:32]

‘Hey! I was wondering if you wanted to come over? Making stir fry with kimchi and I don’t think I can eat it all by myself’

Nibbling against your lip you tried your best to swallow the lump in your throat, he wanted you to come over….? You had done so plenty of times before, whether it was to watch Mina on the weekend or for movie night, but Mina was always present. Being alone with Jungkook....you wouldn’t lie, you felt a little scared.

Scared wasn’t the right term, you felt safe with Jungkook, but anything could happen when it was just the two of you, alone....Pressing your lips together you felt your stomach growl as you rubbed your forehead, you promised your roommates you’d study with them tonight too...But dinner wouldn’t hurt right? Then you’d go straight back home! Yeah that’s all, you were just having dinner together….alone...in his house…

Before you could talk yourself out of it you were already hurriedly typing before you changed your mind.

[06:35]

‘That sounds amazing omg! You really wouldn’t mind me crashing to steal your food?’

[Jungkook 06:35]

‘It’s not stealing if I’m offering it for free baby ~ See you in ten’

You felt your heart lurch into your throat as your eyes honed in on the four little letters, baby? When had Jungkook ever addressed you by a pet name before? Was that even appropriate after what had happened yesterday? Forcing your phone back into your pocket you pushed your nervousness away as you drove to his house.

Knocking against his door you calmed your breath, dinner! It was just dinner, that’s all it was, just dinner. The door opened wide to a beaming Jungkook, you even felt a little bad at how in the gutter your mind had been when you saw how boyish his expression was, “Come on I just finished up, let’s eat before it gets cold,” He ushered you in as you let out a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound a relieved as you felt, “Sorry for the abrupt text but I’m not used to eating alone,” He feebishly rubbed the back of his neck as you both sat down at the table, “Mina usually has dinner with me….”

“It’s okay I don’t mind,” You shrugged with a tiny smile, timidly tugging on a strand of your hair before beginning to pile the delicious smelling stir fry onto your plate and his kimchi looked to die for, was there anything this man couldn’t do? “I’m sure it’s weird without Mina here, I’m so used to her greeting me anytime I come over.”

Oh god, you hope it didn’t come across like you were only here for Mina! Jungkook only smiled fondly though as he began to eat while he nodded, “Tell me about it, Seo Yeon’s sister is getting married so they’re prepping for the wedding tomorrow, that’s why Mina is over there so it’s just me myself and I the next few days.”

You glanced at your plate as you smiled, you could only imagine her with her hair attempted in curls and a pretty puffy white dress on to match the wedding theme, she’d look adorable, “Uh Y/n…” He suddenly cleared his throat, gaining your attention, looking a little sheepish as scratched his nose, eyes suddenly darting away from yours, “I just...wanted to apologize again for what happened yesterday.”

The anger and frustration you had felt the other day had faded and your heart softened at his meek expression, offering you a tiny smile before suddenly looking back down at his food and attempting to play off his actions by eating more, “It’s alright, It’s not the first time I’ve dealt with a pissed parent before. But…” You pressed your lips together as you looked away, “Let’s not fixate on that, it was just a mistake after all. What about you? I figured you’d probably stay holed up at work to get more of the DLC’s mechanics balanced.”

Jungkook groaned as he leaned back in his seat despite the breathy chuckle leaving his lips, “No, coworkers make me wanna pull my hair out, I was able to fix up over half the melee weaponry stats Saturday but at what cost? Told them they can kindly go fuck themselves next time they fire half of our team.” Jungkook pecked at his food looking a little huffy as you laughed, you thought it was cute in all honesty.

Jungkook had been a little shy when he first told you about his love of video games, but he loved them so much he had turned it into a career as he found he loved the developing side to games as well, being such a big computer nerd had gotten him far up in the design team. You couldn’t help but find it endearing watching how passionately he talked about it.

Dinner had been amazing of course, Jungkook was an amazing cook but apparently his mom and dad ran a restaurant therefore growing up he was always surrounded by amazing cooks and had learned from the best. You could see the pride in his eyes when you complimented on how delicious his kimchi was, only to answer that it was his mother's recipe. Adorable.

Staying curled up against the couch you wrapped the blanket around you tighter, Jungkook had managed to pull your legs over his lap as he leaned in a little closer, the avengers playing and your popcorn had been left unattended on the coffee table.

Instead you felt your throat become a little dry at Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you, you knew he worked out but Jesus, you could feel the definition in his body and it was making your heart thump in your chest. Calm down okay, you’re just cuddling! That’s normal!

“Mmm y’know I’m really glad I finally got the courage to ask you out?” You tried not to tense at Jungkook’s whispered words as he let his nose drop into the crook of your neck, his confession sending a tingling sensation against your spine as he nudged your skin a little, “I just...I don’t know, It's been so long since I’ve felt so connected to someone, it’s nice.”

Your heart felt a little warmer at his words and your body began to relax in his grip even going as far as to reciprocate his nuzzle, your lips pulling into a shy smile as you hummed, “It is, it’s been a long time since I’ve dated anyone. It is nice. Lisa and Chloe,” You paused a little as you felt a bit embarrassed at your confession, “They tried convincing me for the longest time you liked me but…”

Jungkook pulled away from your neck a little, a toothy bunny smile on his lips as he raised his brows a little, “But?” His forehead nearly brushing against yours.

Rubbing your cheek a little your smile became a little shy, “But I didn’t believe them. I just assumed you liked me because I was the only worker Mina liked.” It felt a little silly to think about now, all the times he was sheepish while talking to you, the way his cheeks would tint pink ever so slightly when you brightly smiled at him.

It seemed so obvious despite his rather shy nature, Jungkook’s smile became a little bashful yet his eyes sparked playfulness as he chuckled, “Well it didn’t really help that the hints I dropped were extremely subtle. But we’re here now aren’t we?”

His nose was brushing against yours and you felt that dry patch in your throat return, his eyes were so pretty this close up, they were a deep warm brown, almost like a cozy cup of coffee first thing in the morning or the sweetest last piece of chocolate, they made your heart beat faster and your face flush, “We are.”

You felt your breath hitch at the way his nose rubbed against yours, your fluttering shut as you felt a small hesitation in the gap between you both, Jungkook was the one that determinedly closed it, his lips were just as soft as they looked as they tenderly worked against your own, his hands caressing your face as you leaned into the kiss.

His lips were so addicting, was it really your fault that you had let out a soft whine at the way he nibbled against your bottom, your lips almost quivering if they had the chance before immediately admitting defeat and parting your lips, his tongue pushing into your mouth as he began lathing against your own tongue in dominance.

Your once gentle kiss became more and more heated by the moment as you let out a gurgled whine, one hand shuffling to your waist to help situate you as you climbed into his lap, your body becoming lit with heat and neediness.

Straddling his hips you were only allowed a second to breath from breaking the kiss before he grabbed your chin roughly, lips sealed back against your and his tongue demanding entrance into your mouth once more, meekly parting your lips as you let him have his way, hands greedily grabbing and squeezing at your waist as you whimpered into his mouth, your hips beginning to wiggle against his only to jump slightly at the half hard on you felt.

If your cheeks weren’t hot before they were now at the idea of how large he would be when he was fully hardened, your hips just as eager as you as they continued grinding against him. What you hadn’t expected was a loud phone ring causing you both to jump, Jungkook’s lips finally detaching themselves from yours as you tried to catch your breath.

Digging out his phone you expected him to toss it aside before returning to your needy self, instead he bit his lip as he sighed, “Shit, sorry, I need to take this.” He didn’t seem necessarily happy to take the call but did regardless, “Yeah Seo Yeon?”

What mood had been set had instantly deflated in you as you felt your senses come back to you, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in his lap while he was talking to his ex wife, you felt dirty. Even if they were divorced and Jungkook was free to see you, you still felt dirty, maybe like a second option, “Uh yeah a 1 to 2T should fit her just fine, she’s rather petite though so it might be a little big- you guys can always pin it if you needed too- isn’t this a little late considering the is the day after tomorrow?”

You understood, Jungkook answered because it was for Mina’s sake but...You had already pulled yourself off his lap, his eyes immediately locking to your figure as you mustered a weak smile before awkwardly glancing at your lap, why did you feel like a third wheel when he was only on the phone?

Jungkook hung up only a minute later, as you reached down for the strap of your bag that had made home slumped against the leg of the coffee table, “Ah sorry- they needed to make sure Mina’s dress was going to fit properly.”

“No, it’s- it’s okay...I uh…” You could hardly look at him as you grabbed your bag, a timid yet apprehensive look on your face as you finally glanced at him, “I should go….I promised my roommates that I’d study with them tonight so…”

You could visibly see the way Jungkook’s eyes dimmed, rubbing the back of his neck as he attempted to smile though it looked pitiful and strained, “Yeah- yeah of course! Thanks for coming over, I really enjoyed it.”

“Yeah, it was fun. I’ll see you later.” Was it sad you didn’t even wait for him to say goodbye?

“Ouch, you were that close to doing it and then his ex called?” Chloe stirred her coffee as she cringed, they both looked at you in pity as you groaned, pressing your hands into your face as Lisa stood up at the sound of one of the boys and girls fighting over one playing with the other.

Sighing you rubbed your forehead before glancing back at the table, you hadn’t seen Lisa or Chloe over the weekend and had been dying to tell them in hopes of some sort of advice, “I just don’t know what to do Chloe! I know it’s my insecurity but everytime I think I’m okay with the fact that he’s a single dad and he has an ex wife it just jumps back out again! I mean really, I guess it’s just making me wonder if I really want to be involved in this.”

Chloe sent you a sympathetic smile as she set her coffee down, “I think it’s normal in this type of scenario but honestly babe if you really like him then it’s just something you’re going to have to tolerate, and even be supportive of at times, not in the fact of him seeing his ex, but supporting him wanting to make the effort to keep in contact with her for the sake of Mina.”

Picking at your fingernails you sighed, she was right of course, you did really like Jungkook, he was handsome, he had the sweetest personality and was so boyish and competitive over silly things like video games or that time he took you and Mina bowling and he had to prove to those stupid college fratboys he was the superior bowler. Or that time he did his best Peppa Pig impression to make Mina giggle. Or- You got the point.

But you just couldn’t shake the idea of him and Seo Yeon together out of your head, even though they weren’t together anymore it was clear she was still very attached to him and he still complied even if it was disgruntled, they made a good looking couple. God, you really were insecure, weren’t you? You groaned internally, this wasn’t high school! You shouldn’t even feel like this!

“I know...It’s just confusing right now...I still feel bad, I mean, it was...intense, until she called.” You laid your arms out on the table as you set your chin on them as your gaze flickered to the clock, he was late. Jungkook always dropped Mina off at 7:25, five minutes before you usually arrived, it was already nearing the last quarter of eight am....Maybe he got Seo Yeon to watch her today since she’s such a good mother.

You felt a stroke of guilt click inside you, she was Mina’s mother, she had every right to watch her over you. Why did you feel so jealous all of a sudden? Pressing your lips together you only sulked as Chloe gave you a pat on the back. You waited, and waited, and waited some more but Jungkook never dropped Mina off, no text, no call, nothing, it was Monday, as in the day you’d usually go home with Jungkook and Mina to hang out...Your lips quirked into a frown as you sat in your car...you guessed that were cancelled now huh….

There was always Friday...except there wasn’t. Again, Jungkook didn’t show up with Mina, again throughout the week and you had hoped he’d make an appearance Friday but once again, nothing.

You couldn’t help but feel worry begin to eat away at you, constantly debating with your coworkers on whether you should just text him to ask if he was still alive but you could never fully commit yourself. You had become sulkier throughout the week much to your coworkers sadness.

Staying zoned out half the time when you weren’t refereeing fights, bribing kids into nap time or picking up the room when it was a wreck of toys, you missed him. You really missed him. Your roommates had even noticed and tried getting you to get you out there, to ‘find’ someone else. But you didn’t want to find someone else, you wanted to see Jungkooks stupid bunny smile.

You wanted to watch the way he pinched his brows in annoyance when he ranted about someone at work or the way his eyes lit up in victory when he won a match in Overwatch, or how fond and soft his face became when he watched Mina playing with her stuffed animals.

You wanted all of it. And now you had none of it.

Sleep had become less and less and your thoughts only became more focused on Jungkook any moment you weren’t working or studying, and even then he still lingered in the back of your mind.

Did he go back to Seo Yeon? Was that it? Did he change his mind, she was Mina’s mother, the wife that he concieved her with. What the hell did you know about raising a child anyways? You couldn’t stop your glum thoughts as you rubbed your eyes, setting down your coffee as your coworkers greeted you, another day, another disappointment.

It was better this way, you’d never be the person Mina would need growing up, she’d probably hate you later on and view you like an ugly stepmother. You were pulled out of your thoughts at one of the girls tugging on your shirt while asking if they could use the bathroom, standing up you nodded as you gave a smile, “Of course hun.” Walking over to the gated off bathroom you opened it but not before reminding her to shut the door as she went to try and pull up her shirt which made you frantically tell her to shut the door.

After a moment it registered and she did as told as you sighed running a hand through your hair before a tiny laugh escaped you, kids really had no sense of privacy, did they? You made sure she washed her hands after she swung the door open announcing she was done before letting her back out to play once more. Turning around you swallowed thickly at the sight of black tufts of hair that matched the little girls longer hair braided in pigtails.

Rather than greet them you meekly turned back around, sitting at the train table with a few of the other kids as you smiled, well aware it was dull as you helped build the long train, feeling eyes train on you from far away along with the familiar cries of Mina, “Babygirl look, She’s right here.” You weakly glanced up at the long legs that struggled to walk because of Mina who clung to him with a whine, “C’mon don’t be pouty she’s right here if you’d just look.”

You hated how much your heart fluttered at his playful voice as he scooped Mina up as she gave a delighted gurgle, as if knowing he was right and just wanting to be difficult, sitting down next to you he set her in his lap, he was early today, “See? She’s making a pretty cool train huh?” Jungkook observed as he grabbed one of the trainee pieces, it looked tiny in his hand compared to Mina’s as he gave it to her, she inspected it carefully, letting the wheel roll against her tiny finger as she continued to roll it as if mesmerized.

“Uh hey….” Jungkook murmured, his gaze focused on Mina, you didn’t say anything, only glancing back at the table as you felt that pit in your stomach return again. Tension that had already been present seemed to grow even stronger as Jungkook bit against his lip.

Taking a slow inhale you finally let out a bitter chuckle, your eyes glaring weakly into the three piece train you built as you huffed a breath of air, “You could have just told me you didn’t wanna see me anymore, I-I mean it’s fine. I’m used to rejection y’know? It’s- it’s not like-”

“Woah, hey, hey, hey. I never- Y/n I never said I didn’t want to see you anymore-” “Yeah that’s what I mean-” “No! It’s not like that,” Jungkook cut you off once more as you sighed, glancing back at the train table as you rested your chin against it, monotonously pushing the train back and forth, “Look I’m sorry okay? I meant to text you, I really did but it’s just been crazy. I...I told Seo Yeon, about us. I told her to give me more space so I could spend more time with you and she’s just been,” Jungkook stopped himself from swearing as he cleared his voice a little, “Crazy, said she was going to file for full custody over Mina and that she could take Mina away if she really wanted too, it’s been insane. I just...You could have texted me too, I would have replied in a heartbeat.”

If you didn’t feel bad before you felt even worse now, god you were an adult! And you let something as feeble as insecurity get the better of you, “...I know...I just figured you probably wanted space or something...” It was the truth, in reality, you figured it was probably something akin to that. But now looking back on it of course this was all for Mina, the only reason Jungkook would miss a week of daycare would be for Mina, the way he’d forget to text you to let you know, for her. Jungkook was the most loyal and dedicated dad you had ever met, and you had met a lot.

“Oh sweetheart,” Jungkook sighed, running a hand through his hair as he glanced at your slumped puppy like figure, had you really been moping around the whole week? He felt his heart crumple a little at the sight as he let his hand reach out and stroke through your hair, “Can I take you out tonight when I pick up Mina, I could really use a distraction with everything that’s going on, and I really want to make it up to you,” He finally let his bunny smile tug on his lips, “If you’ll let me.”

“Of course you can.” You mumbled, not taking your eyes off the train as you continued to roll it back and forth.

You could hear Jungkook's honeyed laugh, you missed it’s deep warmth as he fondly stroked your hair, “Then perk up baby, you look prettier when you smile.” There it was, that pet name again that had your stomach sent into a frenzy, a tiny smile tugging on your lips as you shyly glanced back at him, his eyes affectionate in that same way he always looked at Mina, except he was looking at you, letting his hand curve down your head to your chin as he gave it a soft squeeze, “There you go. I need to go but I’ll see you soon okay?”

You nodded as he set Mina on your lap who didn’t even regard her dad as he kissed her forehead, her eyes still trained on the wheel she spun as she made herself comfortable on your lap.

You couldn’t help but laugh at her furrowed brows and how trained her focus was. Your heart admittedly felt a lot lighter and you felt a lot siller. If you stood a chance at all with becoming a part of Jungkook and Mina’s life you’d definitely have to toughen up your soft skin. For them.

The day had gone by surprisingly quick, the only hiccup was Mina whining about naptime, she had tugged on your hand as if trying to get you to nap with her.

Sighing you shook your head, you had admittedly entertained her a lot of days when you watched her at Jungkook’s often taking naps with her when it was time. Eventually after sitting down and reading a story to her she eventually fell asleep.

Craft time went well despite Mina trying to kick away another little girl while sitting in your lap and coloring over your princess picture you had been working on for the past three hours, oh well. Jungkook didn’t come back until around four.

The ride had been quiet though, your figure leaned against the window as you glanced out it, there was no tension anymore, but you knew the quietness wasn’t normal either. Jungkook’s gaze flickered to you a few times before he sighed, pulling the car into park as you noticed the droplets of rain splatter against the glass, “C’mon talk to me, what’s bothering you?”

“I’m not bothered…” You replied, shrugging a little as your eyes fleetingly met his for a moment before dropping once more, sighing as you pressed your lips together to gather your thoughts. Jungkook waited patiently as if knowing you were in thought.

Giving a small sigh your lips quivered a little as you lowered your gaze, “I...I just wanted to apologize I guess…I mean, I’ve just let my insecurity get the better of me everytime we’re together and- and I’m going to be honest with you Jungkook, you’re probably better off finding someone older than me or- or hell I don’t know a single mom or something. Because I doubt I’m equipped to handle any of this. I have no clue how any of this works.”

You felt a certain level of shame wash over you at your words but they were the truth, stepping into Jungkook’s life meant stepping into Mina’s as well and that came with a lot of responsibility you weren’t sure you would be able to manage. And admittedly, you didn’t want to lead Jungkook on if you genuinely couldn’t see yourself committing.

“Y/n…” Jungkook murmured softly watching you delicately, the way you fumbled with your fingers and your gaze had stayed dropped on your lap. You looked oddly timid and ashamed of yourself when you really had no reason to be, “Look, I can understand where you’re coming from,” Jungkook sighed softly, his own gaze falling to the steering wheel as he murmured.

“Being a parent isn’t easy, but nobody is ever truly prepared for it. I know I wasn’t. But I don’t want a single mom, or someone older than you. I like you Y/n.” His hand reached over, encasing yours making you glance up meekly at his warm expression, “And if you don’t want to do this, or be a part of this…” His smile looked a little strained and didn’t quite meet his eyes, as if it hurt to think about, “I wouldn’t blame you. But if you’re feeling insecure just because you don’t think you’d be any good then I’m going to insist you keep dating me.”

You couldn’t stop the ugly snort from escaping you as Jungkook’s lips curled into a mutual smile, his thumb brushing against the top of your hand, “Because I think you’d make an amazing mother, you love Mina just as much as I do. And you’re always so sweet with children, and you’re always considering what others think and putting them first-” “Stop! Stop! Stop!” “- I’m just stating the truth.” Jungkook chuckled as you pressed your hands to your ears repeatedly chanting the single word. Your face flushed and you felt flustered that Jungkook really thought that highly of you.

“And I don’t mean to scare you off either,” Jungkook laughed as you pressed your hands to your face, letting out a strangled noise as he gently ruffled your hair, “I just want to reassure you. I know being with me means being with Mina, and it is a lot of responsibility, but I know you’d be amazing. And even if you feel like you won’t I’ll help you the whole way through. Okay?”

You nibbled against your lip, his eyes were so warm and comforting, how could you ever resist when they were so sweet and sincere? You gave a tiny nod before timidly glancing at your lap. Jungkook had parted his lips as if to continue but a toy had interrupted your conversation, the stuffed bear hitting the window and fussy gurgles from Mina sounded in the back, “Alright, alright we get it you’re hungry!” Jungkook huffed as he glanced back, her tiny lips tugging into a smile as she giggled while clapping her hands as if happy to have his attention back on her.

You couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped you before you both got out of the car, Jungkook picked her up from her car seat while you made sure to grab her stuffed bear.

Mina excitedly bounced against him as she happily babbled at you with bright doe eyes, her arms reaching out as she leaned her body forward, “You are so spoilt.” Jungkook tutted as he poked her side, gaining a giggle from her as the smile tugged on your lips, letting him pass her off to you as she happily swung her stuffed animal about. You sat down at the table as Jungkook pulled up a booster seat. Mina was always wiggly but having you here must have excited her sense she seemed to squirm even more making her even harder to get sat down.

Buckling her, you smiled softly as her little hand wrapped around your finger, her brows pinching as her babbled slowed as if trying to say something. The sad truth about being a daycare worker was...you had heard kids' first words before their parents ever did...instead of saying something it was mutually agreed to let the parent announce it to you rather than promptly tell them they had been babbling words for days at the daycare if not weeks. Mina however, had yet to speak her first words but she was certainly trying her best.

Chuckling you pulled from her grip making her concentration break as she whined, “I’m sorry honey, we need to order.” You poked her cheek making a giggle erupt from her throat as the smile tugged on your cheek. The waitress seemed delighted at the three of you as she took your order before heading to the front once more.

Spending time with Jungkook like this was much needed, his bright smile and his deep laugh while you both talked about work and who had been annoying, what absurd things you had to deal with because of the kids. Whatever doubt that had been planted inside you seemed to vanish with each conversation.

Mina eventually getting fussy and wanting to toddle around, she was quite independent for only having been one years old. You both had set her down at the little play area before resuming your conversation, “No really, you haven’t dated anyone since the divorce?” You really couldn’t believe it. Jungkook was so handsome and he was such a sweetheart, it was hard to imagine him single for this long.

Jungkook leaned back in his seat, his smile evident as he sighed, running a hand through his hair, pausing his movement to look at you as you began to laugh, “Why is that hard to believe?” You felt your face flush at the confident smirk he sent you, “I’ve slept with a few girls if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

You could hear his throaty chuckle due to your hands covering your face as you felt yourself choke on your words. In the beginning, you and Jungkook were both rather timid, hyper aware of not wanting to mess anything up. But as time continued on Jungkook was the one that seemed to be more confident in his flirting, whereas you would coil away in embarrassment. It wasn’t a bad thing, but his teasing...admittedly did turn you on…

“That’s not what I meant!” You whined as you shuffled in your seat, your eyes jumping to Mina out of habit from being at the daycare for so long as you watched her play before glancing back at Jungkook’s relaxed, yet amused figure.

“Your reaction was still cute,” Jungkook remarked as you glanced away with a scowl making him laugh softly, “In all honesty, I just wasn’t interested in dating for a long time. Like I said, I’ve had a few flings but they were never interested in taking it further, and neither was I. While it may be hard to imagine, I do tend to scare women away when I mention the dad part.”

You leaned your head against your hand, your eyes lingering on Mina’s figure that curiously kept trying to tug the block out of the wall, not understanding it was glued and unable to come undone, she even gave a whine in frustration, “Given the circumstances I can understand why you wouldn’t be interested, given Seo Yeon,” You gave a bit of an exasperated puff of air, “But what changed your mind?” You didn’t want to blatantly ask him why he decided to give things a try with you, but you were interested as to why. What was different about you compared to any other girl?

Jungkook pressed his lips together for a moment in thought before shrugging, “Well I think the most obvious reasoning was when we first met, I went home every day thinking about what the workers told me about how Mina was, and then we met you and she instantly liked you.”

You couldn’t help the tiny smile tug on your lips, feeling your cheeks flush a little, “I was just relieved at first. I didn’t really think anything of it until a few months later when I went to pick Mina up and saw her sitting in your lap. You were rambling about how Mulan's dress wasn’t pink though you thought it was a good color because that was what Mina was using,” Your brows raised and your lips parted his words, his gaze focused on Mina but his eyes were fond at the memory.

“And when I came in she fell off your lap from squirming so much because she saw me. You picked her up while cooing when she bursted into tears...You were the first person she’d let pick her up in a fit of tears besides me...And I don’t know, I guess seeing you both in that moment, seeing your expression when she bursted into tears...It just made me think, and the more I thought about it, the more it just seemed to...fit.”

You felt your face flush as you glanced at him, the loud whine before a sudden screech immediately making your gaze snap to Mina who had tugged against the block before accidentally throwing her weight a little too harshly back making her trip onto her bottom. Fat crocodile tears leaked from her eyes as she looked to you, her little arms stretching out as sobs bubbled from her lips, “Poor baby, what a mean block!” You cooed as you walked over to her, kneeling down, before squishing her sides, “Does Mina feel a little better?” Tears trickled from her eyes despite the little giggle escaping her your fingers tickling her sides making her giggle more, a whine escaped her lips as she stretched her arms up wanting you to hold her, “Awwh c’mere baby.”

You picked her up as she pressed her little head against the crook of your neck as she began to cry again, “So dramatic!” You laughed as you glanced at Jungkook making him laugh as well, letting his head rest against the palm of his hand as he glanced at you both sofly, “She loves making a scene doesn’t she?”

“She probably noticed we were too close and needed to intervene,” Jungkook tutted as he stood up and walked over, poking Mina as he leaned in a little, “Isn’t that right princess? You need mine and Y/n’s attention don’t you?” His voice was high pitched and cooed as Mina sniffled before glancing up at Jungkook’s voice, a toothy smile on her face as she clapped her hands together.

You felt your lips curl into a timid smile as his eyes flickered up to meet yours, his own smile coiling into a smirk making your gaze immediately drop. God he could be intimidating when he wanted.

“How dare you let that slut hold our child!”

You both jolted at the screech from behind you, turning around you were sure your face had drain of any color as your eyes locked with Seo Yeon who looked utterly pissed off. You couldn’t help but hold Mina tighter to your chest, “I should have known this whore was messing with your head!” Seo Yeon sneered as she marched over.

Jungkook immediately stepped in front of you protectively, his shoulders stiff and his jaw gritted, “What? Did you hunt me down to try and take my daughter away? To what? Try and threaten me and my girlfriend?” Your heart was beating frantically with adrenaline as you glanced at Seo Yeon’s glaring daggers.

“I came to see the slut that’s brainwashed you!” Seo Yeon seethed, her eyes burning into your figure as if hoping you’d turn to ash where you stood, you could feel your lips quiver a little as your gaze dropped, “Jungkook we belong together with our daughter! Now get Mina away from her and let’s go and talk this out!”

Jungkook took a step back, you couldn’t see his expression but you imagined it didn’t look pleasant in the least, “Seo Yeon,” His voice was deeper than normal as he growled lowly, “It’s over between us. It’s been over since the divorce. No amount of threatening or begging will make me take you back. I’m happy now and I’m not going to ruin that because of you.”

Seo Yeon’s eyes were brimmed with both anger and tears, her lips quivering but Jungkook wouldn’t even let her speak, “And don’t even fucking threaten custudy over Mina because I will win that battle. If you care about your daughter at all, you’ll fucking let this go and move on.”

“She’s completely fooled you Jungkook!” She nearly screamed, her fists curled up but Jungkook ignored her words, turning towards you to wrap an arm around you, muttering a ‘lets go’. His words suddenly bringing awareness to your surroundings, so many people were staring! How embarrassing, “I won’t let that slut ruin our lives!”

Jungkook practically pushed you out the door, his shoulders tense and his expression dark and brooding. You fumbled with putting Mina in her car seat, quickly buckling her with the fear of Seo Yeon chasing after you both. Sitting in the front seat it was quiet as the rain pattered against the glass.

Neither of you spoke a word and you could feel tension practically crawling in the air with it’s gritty uncomfortable tone. It wasn’t until Jungkook parked in the driveway of his house that you both stilled. The rain had led up but still gently pattered. You wanted to speak, but you didn’t know what to say.

What you didn’t expect was the loud thud to sound in the car, Jungkook’s palm slamming against the steering wheel making you jump as he beat his hands against it harshly, “She pisses me off so fucking much!” You leered back a little, concern written in your eyes as he slammed the steering wheel one last time before his fingers weakly coiled around it.

It was quiet for another moment before you sighed softly, reaching out to let your hand gently grab his bicep, his muscles tensed at your touch and he refused to meet your gaze, “Jungkook, I promise everything is going to be okay.” His muscles began to relax under your grip before he let out a shaky breath.

Your heart practically crumbled at the way his eyes were on the brink of tears, behind his anger was raw fear, fear of potentially losing Mina. He would be devastated. Jungkook couldn’t even bring himself to speak, his lips only trembling and defeatedly closing his eyes as tears slid down his cheeks.

Leaning over you wrapped your arms around him, burying your nose into his hair as you closed your eyes, Jungkook needed you now more than ever, you weren’t going to let your insecurity get the better of you, not now, not anymore, “Everything will be okay.”

Note: I hope you all enjoyed this part! Things have gotten saucy in more ways then one! I am a Lazy™️ hoe so there will be a time jump next chapter but regardless I hope you guys like the story thus far!

[blazedgraysons]

Love Don’t Cost A Thing

Grayson buys you a car, Twitter stans are mean, and Grayson’s really good at making you feel better. 

A/N: this is part 1 of fics I wrote a month ago, forgot about and finally finished. this started out as a simple fluff and idk what happened. also let’s pretend that Grayson still has a wrapped porsche because I could totally see him wanting to match. 

Word Count: 3K

Warnings: horribly written smut and a lot ofme pretending I know about nice cars

God, some bitches will do anything for clout nowadays.

Honestly, when will Gray wake up and realize she’s just with him for his money?

What a fucking gold-digger.

Gold-digger.

That word rings around your head as you continue to scroll through the replies from Grayson’s latest tweet, each one nastier than the last. You sniffle, wiping your tears and locking your phone, before turning to look at your boyfriend through the bedroom window. He’s outside talking to Ethan excitedly over a car, not just any car but a 2021 Porsche 911. A car he bought just for you.

He had approached you earlier this afternoon with a broad grin. As easily excitable as he is, this didn’t feel out of the ordinary to you, so you simply raise an eyebrow while continuing to sip your coffee.

“Are you finished with your final yet, Y/N ?” He whispers out of caution that you might still be testing.

“Two more questions, then I’m all yours baby. What’s wrong?” A sense of worry washes over you since you know he wouldn’t interrupt you unless it’s crucial. He’d grown accustomed to your new routine since the pandemic began. After asking (begging) for you to quarantine with him, he soon realized that the time he thought you two would spend together was taken up by quizzes, essays, and exams as you finished up your senior year of college. While he was more than willing to take second-place to your studies, he was a little antsy for you to be finished.

“Nothing. I just wanted to show you something out in the shed.” Now, this you do roll your eyes at. While you were occupied with studies, he was out in that godforsaken tiny shed almost every day. Secretly, you were glad Ethan had foregone the bed idea because that was the only thing getting him to come to bed to you every night. You assure you’ll be out in a few minutes and shoo him away to finish the test that will ensure your bachelors.

Only twenty minutes later, you feel as if a crushing weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. You crack your neck before sighing and closing your laptop, elated that the four years of your undergrad were finally behind you. You pull out your phone before remembering your promise to Grayson. You walk out the back kitchen doors and turn the corner, not expecting what was behind it.

Your mouth drops. Sitting in front of you is a shiny, white Porsche complete with a giant red bow on the hood. Your boyfriend sits on top of the back seats, dressed in a blue button-down and black slacks. Grayson’s beaming as he holds a bouquet of roses out towards you. You try to think of something, willing anything to come to your brain, but shock leaves you speechless so you start tearing up instead.

Grayson, mistaking your tears for anger or sadness, is by your side in a minute.

“Angel, what’s wrong? Do you not like it? I wanted to wrap it to match mine, but Ethan said it was a bad idea. But- but we can always go to the dealer and switch it out if you don’t like it or I can -“ He stammers, immediately worried that he had disappointed you. You cut him off with a deep kiss, relieving any worry that was flying through his brain as he grabs your waist to hold you closer.

“No, it’s perfect. You’re perfect. Everything’s perfect. But why?” You question.

“Well, I wanted to do something special for you since you finished school today. And since we can’t travel anywhere, I figured this was the next best thing. You’ve worked so hard these past four years, Angel; I just wanted to show you how proud I am of you and how much I love you.” He explains, scratching the back of his neck nervously. Your heart melts at this. While you had expected maybe a five-star dinner and hopefully some marathon sex, you had no idea your boyfriend would do something so extravagant for you. Never in your wildest dreams did you believe someone would care for you like this, and adoration begins to fill your entire being.

“Grayson, I- I don’t know what to say.” You’re astounded, and every time you look at the car, you’re speechless again.

“Hopefully that you like it. It was kind of expensive.” He jokes, now reassured that your silence is a good thing and not out of anger. You swat his chest before wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him in for another kiss. Just as his hands start to slip towards your ass, you pull away from him.

“Thank you, Grayson. For the car, for letting me stay here, for everything. I don’t deserve you-“

“Don’t start with that.” He cuts you off, leaning in so your foreheads are touching, “You do plenty for me, and if we’re honest, I don’t deserve you. You’re beautiful, intelligent, funny. There’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you, and you can’t change that.” Before you can even respond, you notice Ethan making his way out through the back door.

“Yo, what are you two still doing out here? Don’t you have reservations at six?” He yells out, towel over his shoulder and obviously not expecting the two of you to be interrupting his future tanning session. You turn back to your boyfriend, confused as Grayson sighs exasperatedly and looks up to the sky.

“I haven’t told her about that yet, dickhead.” Grayson yells back to his brother.

“Well, can you hurry up? I want to lay out for a bit, and the weather app says it’s supposed to rain at four.” Ethan asks. You can’t help but giggle, knowing Ethan’s just oblivious to the very intimate moment you and Grayson were having. Grayson huffs, annoyed that his brother is ruining his plan before turning to you.

“I booked us reservations at Il Cielo.” Your eyes widen at the mention of your favorite restaurant.

“But how? It’s been booked for weeks. We couldn’t even get in for my birthday.” You question.

“The owner’s daughters are fans, so I promised a couple pictures tonight in order to get a table. Now go get dressed, we can take your car if you want.” He explains. Images of you two dressed up while Grayson drives the new Porsche fills your mind and you slightly shiver. Grayson, raising an eyebrow to your reaction, leans down for another kiss with you. Right when Grayson’s tongue enters your mouth is when you hear the fake-retching coming from the other twin.

“Bro, go away!” Grayson groans, holding you closer to him. You’re both leaned up against the car as you turn to watch the interaction between the two siblings.

“Fine. But first, let me get a picture of the happy couple. You’d kill me if you didn’t get to flex how good of a boyfriend you are.” He says, grabbing his phone. Grayson moves to argue, but you silence him, posing for the camera instead. You both smile, looking happier and more in love with each other then you’ve ever been. And you can’t help smiling wider when you see the tag and pictures on Twitter.

It only took a few minutes before the hate comments started flooding in. You had set your phone down for a quick shower but returned to notification after notification. It was non-stop dm’s, tweets, and even responses to IG photos from 2016 about how you weren’t good enough for Grayson, how you were just using him, and how he would eventually find someone better.

Usually, you could just ignore it, turn your phone off and turn a blind eye to the negativity spewed at you. But you were already emotionally overwhelmed, and you couldn’t help the small part of you that agreed. What had you done to deserve a man who could drop thousands of dollars on you at a whim? You weren’t impressive, weren’t an influencer or a model, just an average girl who managed to catch his eye.  

Your phone screen starts to blur as tears form in your eyes. You try to stop the burning feeling in your throat. Still, fat tears begin to roll down your cheeks onto the screen as you start sniffling, falling victim to your deepest insecurities. You were so caught up in yourself that you hadn’t even noticed Grayson making his way down the hall.

“Y/N, are you almost ready? We have to leave for the restaurant soon.” He yells towards his room, making his way to you before noticing your sobs. You look up at him before sniffling again, feeling sorry that he had to see you like this.

“What's wrong, Angel?” He asks gently, moving to sit next to you on the edge of the bed. He wraps an arm around your bare shoulder, careful not to move the towel you had wrapped around you from your shower.

“Nothing, it’s nothing. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be ready.” You attempt to reassure, moving to wipe the tears from your eye. You wince, noticing how unbelievable you sound even to yourself, and you can already tell Grayson is unconvinced.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” He asks. You nod, not meeting his eyes, looking down at your lap instead. He softly grabs your chin, forcing you to meet his intense stare. “So, what’s wrong?”

“God, it’s really nothing. Some fans on Twitter had just tweeted me some stuff and -“ Before you could even finish, he’s grabbing his phone to look at the replies, nostrils flaring as he reads what fans had mentioned you in.

“It’s honestly nothing, G. I was just being overdramatic.” You promise, wanting to drop it at this point and continue with the perfect day you two were having.

He’s silent for a second, which worries you more than anything since he always has something to say. You rub his thigh, trying to comfort him before he grabs your hand.

“You know none of that is true. There is no one better, never will be. My future begins and ends with you.” He whispers, sounding even more hurt than you. You stare at him widely, dumbfounded at the bold confession Grayson just dropped on you. Taking your silence as disbelief, he moves your hand towards his mouth so he can start kissing your wrist.

“Believe me when I say, Y/N, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. “ He growls, dropping your wrist to move in front of you. “What can I do to get that through your head?”

With that, he grabs your head roughly, bringing you into a hot kiss. You immediately whimper, wrapping your hands around his neck to pull him closer to you. His tongue slides against yours desperately as he rips your towel off you, tossing it carelessly over his shoulder.

You pull away from each other, panting with desire and trying to catch your breath as Grayson goes down to suck warm, wet kisses onto your neck.

Moaning his name, you move to unbutton his shirt shakily while he continues to move down your neck to your chest. You shrug his shirt off before scratching your nails down his chest as he takes one nipple into his mouth.

Twirling the other nipple in his fingers, you arch into him before he’s switching to the other one and repeating this process. He continues like that for a while until you moan and whimper underneath him, trying to grind up into his lap.

“Grayson, please. Touch me.” You mewl, hips bucking when he drags a finger through your slit. Grayson sucks the mess off his finger before looking down at you darkly, hazel eyes turning a deep brown. He kneels down, spreading your legs and placing his large hands on your hips to hold you down. He places soft, open mouth kisses on the apex of your thighs and meets your gaze before speaking again -

“Mine. You’ll always be mine. Nothing can change that.” He promises. You clench around nothing, feeling like you could cum just from his words of reassurance. He notices how you react and sharply inhales.

“Fuck, so pretty.” He breaths out, and you’re not even sure you’re supposed to hear that, watching Grayson lose himself in the desire to express how deep his love runs for you.

He spreads your lips apart with two fingers before licking at your clit softly. He licks it again before pulling you towards him with a long, slow lick watching as you fall apart.

You already knew this was going to take no time on your end, but watching his intense gaze on you causes you to produce more and more wetness, to the point where you feel like you’re leaking onto the mattress.

He stops at your clit, circling it a few times with his tongue before taking it into his mouth. He suckles on it, watching as you fall back onto the mattress with a high pitch whine.

“Grayson.” You moan shakily, moving to get closer to his mouth.

You start rolling your hips onto his face, grabbing your tits to ground yourself somehow. Your moaning consistently now, not knowing how else to convey how good he’s making you feel other than with high-pitched sounds.

He places his arms under your thighs, pulling you closer to him, and starts making out with your pussy, savoring every sweet drop that comes out of you. He sucks harder before pulling back and rubbing at your clit with two fingers.

“So good, Angel. Perfect for me.” He gasps, lips swollen and red. His mouth is dripping, and he shakily runs a hand through his hair before diving back in.

He focuses on your clit this time, sucking hard while reaching to slide two fingers inside of you. He drags them back and forth, feeling you clenching down hard on him.

“Grayson, I’m so close.” You moan, getting louder and louder as he continues to flood your body with pleasure. He sucks on your clit even harder before dragging his fingers against a specific spot, and you’re suddenly overwhelmed with white-hot pleasure. You scream as your orgasm rolls through you in shockwaves, simultaneously pulling away and trying to get closer to him.

He doesn’t take his mouth off you and groans loudly at how your pussy pulsates in his mouth. He notices he’s grinding in the air and presses a palm down to relieve some of the pressure in his pants.

You lay there with an arm over your eyes, taking ragged breaths trying to calm yourself down. Grayson finally removes himself from you and goes up to lay next to you, stroking your hair and moving your arm so you can look at him.

“Never has a man ever made me cum that hard.” You mutter. He laughs at that before he turns to kiss you softly, allowing you to taste yourself on his lips and tongue. His kissing grows sloppier and sloppier until he’s slotting himself in between your thighs.

You reach down to unbutton his pants and pull them and his briefs down as far as you can until he leans back to remove them altogether.

He gets back in position, kissing you some more while his rock-hard cock brushes up against your thigh. He grinds into you as you pull away from him.

“Gray?”

“Yeah.” he murmurs hotly, continuing to grind into you.

“Fuck me, please.” You purr.

He breathes shakily and lines up with you, rolling his hips into you slowly. You both moan at the first thrust, his guttural and deep and yours high-pitched and whiny. He slowly grinds into you one, two, three times before picking up and thrusting into you properly.

He grabs one of your legs, placing it over his shoulder, allowing him to reach inside you deeper. He speeds up, overwhelming you with the relentless snap of his hips.

“Grayson.” you cry as he reaches down to rub your clit. He groans, unsure whether to look at your aroused eyes, your bouncing tits, or how effortlessly his dick enters and leaves your pussy. He tries to look at all three before groaning, “So fucking hot, Y/N.” He leans down to kiss and suck at your neck before growling in your ear, “Don’t give a fuck what anyone says. You’re so perfect for me. So wet and tight.”

At this point, he’s speaking incoherently. So overwhelmed by how well you’re taking him that he’s saying anything and everything that comes to his brain. That doesn’t stop his words from going directly to your clit, and you moan loudly at his words, begging for him to fuck you harder.

He does as asked, and it isn't until he leans down to kiss you again that you feel your second orgasm hit you like a freight train. You cry out while you dig sharp nails into his back, riding out your orgasm as he continues to pound into you. His thrusts stutter as you clamp down on him like a vice. He continues to roll his hips while cursing lowly into your ear.

“Cum for me, G. Please. I need it.” You whisper while scratching lightly up his back, hoping this will edge him on to finish. Sure enough, his hips stutter as his dick swells before hotly cumming inside you.  He groans out loudly, rocking his hips slowly into you before coming to a complete stop. He lays down on top of you, grabbing a blanket to cover the two of you.

You run your hands through his hair as he softly kisses your forehead.

“I love you, no matter what. Don’t listen to Twitter.” He confirms, sleepily. You hum in agreement, kissing his neck as a response.

“I love you more.”

You both are quiet, the silence lulling you to sleep before Grayson is rapidly jerking himself out of you. You look at his wild expression, concerned.

“Fuck, I forgot about our reservations.”

[pixiedoodlein]

10 days until school and I’m no more decided than I was a week ago. I flip flop ten times day about what might be best. A is sick of hearing me talk about it. He doesn’t disagree with my risk assessment but he is sick of talking about it.

It caused an issue with his friend, a friend who is his best friend and is unvaccinated and works in a jail. Months ago we told friend he could only visit (this place is their boyhood dream) once he’s vaccinated. Friend typically believes in science and is very health conscious but his gf is a moron Trump lover and her family the same and that’s who he’s been spending all his time with since this all started. When I asked friend why he’s not vaccinated he said he’s young & healthy, didn’t trust the vaccines, would do it when they got full fda approval. Plenty of young healthy people are dead of this. Anyway then I asked ok so what if you give it to someone who isn’t and dies, people incarcerated in the jail he works in and don’t have the luxury of social distancing, and he was like eh whatever. So yes friend is an asshole, but his best friend for decades, friend has always been kind of an asshole but has many redeeming qualities too. So we said no visit. But then in July when there was no covid here and no covid where he lives and we were blissfully living our covid free lives we loosened up and said he could visit with two negative tests. But then covid got bad again and when asshole friend contacted A the other day to say he took time off in late Sept to visit, A said sorry, it’s fully fda approved now you have no excuses not to vaccinate, we’re worried about our unvaccinated kids, and as of now you can’t visit but hey maybe if you get vaccinated and the numbers look better we can reassess in a month and you can come. Friend was a total dick about it, didn’t understand our point of view at all, stressed A about it, who was in a bad mood about it for days afterward.

Then there’s the neighbors. I had a chat with the kids and a chat with the mom. I framed it as we love them so much and I know they’re careful but I think we should all be more careful while the numbers are so rising (aka only outdoor hangouts) and we are careful but I’ve heard terrifying stories from doctor friends about kids and babies getting very sick, and they have a baby who I don’t want us to make sick, and she said she agreed. The kids have been pretty good about making the adjustment from constant sleepovers to playing outside but M keeps asking me “the kids need to pee are they allowed to use the bathroom, the kids are hungry are they allowed to come inside even for one minute for a snack,” and I feel like the villain (I’ve been saying yes to pee, snacks I’ll bring out). Everyone’s been understanding but nobody is getting what I mean when I say only outdoor socializing. All the kids keep asking me when I’ll take them to town again for ice cream, “but it’s outside” (um yeah but the car’s not), asking their mom to ask me for sleepovers even though they know what the answer will be. The other day they were playing in our yard then it started raining and they were like “we can’t walk home in the rain”- I don’t want them to walk home in the rain, but again the car is indoors!- so I drove them home (but made M stay at our house). They’re not my kids so I can’t make them wear masks and it feels like now I am in the position of being the mean parent who’s psycho about covid, which in a way I am, but it would help me to stick to my guns and feel okay about sticking to them if the government policies matched the severity of the situation, ie mask mandates in public places (instead of stores posting polite recommendations), vaccine mandates, virtual learning options, etc.

Which brings me to school. After selling M hard on real school, then I sold her hard on home school. She already “did” 3rd grade last year (as much as me teaching her in my pajamas counts as doing), but this district has an earlier cut off than the city, so she’s in 3rd grade again here. Which is fine by me- her birthday is the same day as the very late nyc cut off (12/31) and I hated that she was the absolute youngest. I used to beg the school to hold her back and they’d say “but why she’s doing so well!” not understanding that I was thinking ahead to the teen years. But anyway, despite her haphazard pj’d professor, she seemed to learn a lot last year so homeschool this year could basically be unschool. She’d traipse around the forest identifying birds and trees with A and her brother, reading for pleasure, and I’d spend an hour here and there reviewing some worksheets with her so she’d be on track when she starts real school after she gets vaccinated. She was into the idea, until she found out she and one of the neighbor kids are in the same class. Now she absolutely wants to go to real school, AND ride the school bus. The school bus part makes me very nervous. While there is now a school mask mandate (but will it be enforced? what are their lunch procedures, what % of teachers are vaccinated, what % of the older kids in the same building as the little kids are vaccinated, did they actually really update their ventilation system?) and a bus mask rule, it’s a long rural route (15 min drive or 45 min bus) and I have no faith that bus windows will be open and all riders will be masked the whole time.

So just tell her she can go to school but has to be driven by a parent, right? Not so simple. I was offered a job at a (somewhat, commuting distance) nearby nonprofit- an easy low stress job in a bastion of liberalism with very very nice smart coworkers, excellent work life balance, a writing job that sounds made for me, like the job description is exactly what I would put together if I were putting together my dream job (except the pay, which is half what I was making at a fancy DC nonprofit, but high for this area, and our housing cost is half so it should be fine if A can get away from little guy long enough to bring in some money too). It’s mostly remote but approx one day a week in the office and some days there will be things I need to attend out in the community (not necessarily our community, they serve the whole region). It won’t always be the same day in the office and the office is an hour away- so on those days A would have no car to get her to and from school, since I’d need to leave before school starts and get home after it’s done. So I guess we need to buy a new car? Aside from this issue we really don’t need a second car now, were planning to get one eventually, but not until A’s business has enough projects to justify the cost.

Despite its many demands/challenges/ stressors, home school is sounding easier to me at this point (especially because she already did this grade), except she WANTS to go to school. Someone talk me out of putting some lipstick and a pantsuit on her and taking her to get vaccinated. I know, I know: the 5-11 dosage is 1/3 of the 12-adult dosage. The doctors I’ve spoken to are split on this hypothetical kamikaze mission. The doctors I’ve spoken to are also split on me and A going to a pharmacy now for booster. It’s been almost 6 months since our 2nd dose. We do not have compromised immune systems. This county has way more doses than demand and I would feel better sending M to school (bus or not) if we had our boosters and she had a first dose- moral and scientific quandaries aside- because there is A LOT of covid here now, a lot of covid everywhere now, and I feel like we are returning to regular life at the time when we should be most hunkered down.

Which brings me to the data. Per capita there are as many known cases here as in nyc, except nyc has a 50% higher vax rate, much more mask usage, better medical system. People are not getting enough tests here, there is a higher positivity rate, and so I think the actual number of cases is much higher than the reported number of cases. It seems like, friends here and in the city and in the suburbs (I just broke up with a friend in the suburbs because she professes to be a good democrat but is hosting a bonafide super spreader event and vacationing in a place with 39% positivity and a collapsed health care system), are thinking of covid as something you catch from strangers- they wear masks in stores- but aren’t careful at all around close friends and family (so many extended family gatherings, so many, cousins and grandparents and half-siblings and aunts and uncles and whoever), when this is a disease that kills via the people you love most, the ones who’d never intentionally hurt you.