#I’m sorry!!! I’ve already incorporated this into my belief system!!

[marimbles]

ok ok I’ll STOP now (me when I lie)

[lunerbean]

Witch Tips 24

Holy shit it's been over a year since I posted one of these but it's because I kept setting myself up for failure by putting way too high of expectations on myself to crank out 10 new and unique and helpful tips everytime I got 100 new followers except first it was 10 and then it was 50 and holy shit I got so stressed about these so I've just been writing them down as I've thought of them instead and now here we are, please be gentle.

Hello here are tips

1. Use transfer paper and a hair dryer to decorate candles.

Maybe you're doing a spell for someone & you want to put a picture of that person on the candle. This can be a way to help you better visualize the effects of the spell on the person the spell is for. Or maybe you need a picture on the candle for some other reason. Maybe you want to put pictures of coins on it for a money spell. Or hearts for a love spell. Simply print out whatever you want on transfer paper, cut it out & place the image face-down on the candle. Then, you'll want to get your hairdryer and a piece of tissue paper (I highly suggest the tissue paper is the same color as the candle, otherwise you risk getting that color onto the candle. Which can also be fine, but if it's not what you want...) use the blow dryer on a low-warm setting to melt the photo onto the candle side. Remove the tissue paper and there you have it! A picture printed onto a candle.

2. You can incorporate witchcraft into ANYTHING... even brushing your teeth.

I recently got this fucking delicious toothpaste from Trader Joe's. I'm one of those people who sometimes struggles to brush my teeth twice a day because I hate the taste of toothpaste. So I got a super unconventional toothpaste flavor instead, "fennel, propolis, & Myrrh. And about a week after using it, it struck me -holy shit these ingredients have meaning behind them. Most obviously, myrrh is associated with wisdom and meditation. And fennel has been used in magic for centuries! Even if you use regular mint toothpaste, that ingredient has power behind it! Obviously this goes more so for natural toothpastes but I'm sure you can find a way to enchant other varieties as well! Use the ingredients already infused into your toothpaste for enchantments & glamours!

3. Actually study your grimoire.

If I sound at all harsh by saying this, it's only because I'm being harsh with myself too. Study your grimoire. Don't just write everything down & then expect to have it all perfectly memorized & be a master in everything you research. Reread it. Rework it. Learn.

4. Feel drawn to be a sea witch but you don't live by the ocean? Get a saltwater aquarium!

First off, I'm not saying that it's a flawless solution. Being a witch of the sea is more than just using salty fish water in your craft. HOWEVER, with that out of the way, there's no way that a salt water aquarium will harm your craft as a sea witch. Think of it like a houseplant for a green witch. Sure, living in the forest would be better but it's still something special to be able to bring a little piece of your craft into your home.

5. Personal taglocks make a spell more powerful, but exercise caution when using them.

Undoubtedly, using a taglock (such as a strand of hair) can better connect you to the spells you're performing, but they're not always wise to use. I only use them in extremely personal spells and crafts. Things that no one except for me can have access to. I would never suggest using a taglock on something that you wish to give another person (especially another witch) such as a spell bottle or sachet. Even if you're best friends. Even if you're siblings. Even if you're MARRIED. You never know when a relationship can turn south or what someone is capable of when they're extremely angry with you. Don't risk it.

6. Be respectful of the deities that you don't worship or work with

I don't work with deities. Shocker, I know. I have my own belief system when it comes to higher powers that I won't get into on Tumblr, probably ever. But I do believe in showing respect to all things, both living, dead, & otherwise specified. If a deity approaches you who you're not interested in working with, please remain kind & respectful with in declination. You're allowed to say no to anyone and everyone.

7. Just because someone is more experienced doesn't necessarily mean they're always right.

Without naming names or being too specific, there was a witch I followed on Tumblr for a long time. They were much older than me and had been a witch for like 20+ years. I followed everything they said as fact. But slowly, over time I started to learn more and realized I didn't always agree with them. They were SO negative. If they heard basically anything new that younger witches were coming up with, they'd have a whole 10 paragraph post about how "stupid and wrong and ridiculous and fake" these new witches were. There was not an ounce of open mindedness with this person. And because of that, I started to feel really bad about myself and my craft. Things they said would stick with me and I'd feel so shitty about it. Well fuck. That. More experience means absolutely nothing if the person is unwilling to learn or expand their minds beyond their previous knowledge. Anyone can learn and anyone can teach. Age means nothing. Surround yourself with open minded people.

8. Put full moon water into your humidifier to charge your space.

This is an idea that only just occurred to me while I was setting up my crystals & jar of water to charge under the full blue moon on Samhain. I always turn my glowing humidifier on at night while I sleep. As I watched the mist begin to arise out the top I thought to myself, 'if I'm charging that water (the glass jar on my altar) for the full moon, why not this water too?' So now, I just add a little splash of full moon water into my humidifier water whenever I'm performing rituals or doing spell work. This way, the full moon water can charge my entire bedroom with the power of the full moon as I work.

Speaking of...

9. You can charge water under more moon phases than just full.

I don't know if that wording was weird or not so I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. My point is, I always see people talking about moon water as if it's only full moon water. The moon holds power in every phase she goes through. Adding to the above tip, you can put new moon water into your humidifier to cleanse your space. Waxing moon water to help you plan and focus. And waning moon water to assist during a banishment spell. Hell yeah dude, all phase of the moon are useful and powerful!

10. Incense matches are a great alternative to full incense sticks

I love burning incense, but sometimes it can really overwhelm the area, especially because my house is small & I dont want to expose my cat to it. Incense matches are literally matches that are covered in incense powder. They burn for just a few minutes & produce a steady stream of smoke for spells. They come in a bunch of different scents. I buy them locally for 30 matches for $1.05USD but you can probably find them cheaper online. Still be sure to keep them away from pets & those who are smoke-sensitive.

Thank you so much for reading, follow me for more #10tips, search my blog for the previous 230 tips, & have a magical day.

[fume-knight-of-shovelry]

Artistic Licenses

A sequel to Inaccuracies and Lights, taking place after both of those stories. You can also find them and my Gency week prompts, as well as any other stories I write, on my Archive page.

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“Angela, have you taken a look at this?” Genji entered Angela’s office without knocking, hands enclosed around thin sheet of paper. He’d elected to keep his mask off for today’s visit. Sighing, she looked up from her work and rested her head in her hands.

“Genji, I appreciate you seeing me so frequently on my off-hours. But would you please knock? One of these days, you’re going to catch me at a bad time.”

“Whatever do you mean, Angela?” Genji grinned. “I imagine that you’d be more concerned that someone might walk in on us.”

“Very funny, Genji.” She rolled her eyes and drummed the corner of her pen on the edge of her desk, raising a questioning eyebrow. “Well, what did you want to show me?”

“I apologize, Angela. I’ll be more mindful in the future. But here, take a look at this.” He shuffled the stack of paper in his hand across the surface of her work table towards her. “Something of Brigitte’s. I think she got it from Reinhardt when she was much younger, and she gave it to me after our last trip to Sweden, and I thought you’d enjoy it.”

 His girlfriend looked the book over, flipping from page to page, chewing on the tip of her pen. “Die Walküre? This is...very old. In fact, I believe that the inaugural performance of this was over two hundred years ago!” She looked back up at her boyfriend, beaming with gratitude. “Thank you, Genji! This is a recent script reproduction, but it is still a wonderful gift. What about it made you think of me?”

 Genji reached out a finger and flipped back to the cover, pointing to the title. “Walküre. German for ‘valkyrie’. I thought you’d find it fitting, given, well, you know.” He began to circle around to the back of the desk, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Is something wrong, Angela?”

 She shook her head and turned to let him plant a quick kiss on her lips, tilting her chin upward to better face him. “Nothing at all, Genji. I merely find the idea that these valkyries have any similarity to me a little...silly. Do not get me wrong, this is a fantastic opera, and my quibble is not meant to detract from the value of your gift.”

Now it was Genji’s turn to raise an eyebrow quizzically. “What do you mean, ‘these valkyries are not similar’? Can you be more specific, Angela?”

“I mean, Richard Wagner was a theatrical and musical genius, I’m not disputing that. That his plays have stayed relevant for so long is remarkable.”

“Angela. The valkyries?”

“Right, sorry. He was good, but he took some significant liberties from his source material. Torbjörn would be able to tell you more, or Brigitte.”

“I’m not asking them, I’m asking you  .”

“Genji, I need to get back to work.” Angela made a shooing motion with her right hand, brushing against Genji’s forearm. “Later, I promise. Okay?”

Genji sighed, but he couldn’t argue with that. “All right, Angela. One more, for the road?” He leaned down and puckered his lips, and felt her return the gesture. With a light smacking sound, they parted, and Genji left her to her work. He had enough to do between now and the end of Angela’s workday.

“So, you were going to elaborate on your point earlier.” Genji prodded. Rather literally: as Angela stood in their kitchen in the sink, he poked the back of her shoulder.

“Oh, right. My apologies.” Angela shook her hands dry from the dishes she’d be doing and turned, leaning against the edge of the countertop. “I was talking about valkyries, correct? Well, as far as I know, the original mythical valkyries were servants of Odin.”

“Who?”

“Ah, right, you wouldn’t be familiar with that.” Angela tilted her head towards the book Genji had brought her, now resting on their table. “He was a Scandinavian god of poetry, wisdom, war, kings, and hanging, among others. Not a nice god, from what we know, even if he ultimately tried to act in the world’s best interests.”

“How do you know so much about old belief systems?” Genji crossed his arms over his chest, the gesture coming across less as “frustrated” and more as “self-conscious”. “You’re making me self-conscious about what I don’t know.”

“Please, Genji, that was not my intention.” Angela reached out to run her fingers over her boyfriend’s forearm, smiling calmly. “And if it makes you feel better, I really don’t know that much. Just the bits that stick out to me as the most interesting.”

Genji winced. He hadn’t meant to whine, but clearly he’d sounded aggravated enough to merit comfort. “Apologies, Angela. What else did you have to share?”

“Well, valkyrie literally means ‘chooser of the slain’.” Angela hadn’t acknowledged his apology verbally, instead communicating her understanding with a light squeeze on his arm. He knew what she meant. “And rather than being the angel-like figures that they’re often depicted as, they could be...somewhat sinister.”

“How?”

“Well, their name isn’t a euphemism. They were literally choosing the slain: who lived, who died, who told their story. They could heal and act to save humans, but more often they might actually engineer the death of a particularly powerful combatant. The belief was that this was so that the bravest, strongest, most stalwart warriors would go to Valhalla to be at Odin’s disposal come Ragnarök, ‘the doom of the gods.’” Angela sighed and leaned into Genji, resting her chest against his shoulder. “In practice, though...not to be dismissive, but in reality this was probably an explanation for why many of the most valiant fighters died young, in their prime.”

Genji slipped one of his hands out from the fold in front of his chest and stroked the back of Angela’s neck, murmuring softly. “I suppose it’s easier to believe that everyone who perishes in battle does so at the will of a league of superwomen for some greater purpose , rather than due to chance or an uncaring world. If you find the appellation ‘valkyrie’ inaccurate, why not choose another?”

Angela leaned back, from Genji, resting one hand on his shoulder and the other on his arm. “Because our cultural consciousness has cemented valkyries as angelic figures. I’ve no illusions about the role the eventual Christianization of Scandinavia played in that a millenia ago.” Angela rolled her eyes, blowing a strand of hair out from her face. “Now, though, it’s another good way to market my technology, as cynical as that may sound. And it is not wholly inaccurate: the valkyries did supposedly have benevolent tendencies and healing powers, even if their primary function was to create and collect dead soldiers. Having an angelic-themed suit and naming it ‘valkyrie’ was too good to pass up.”

“Why not rebrand it as an ‘angelic’ suit, then? I know little of angels, but I’m sure you could find some way to incorporate their names into your suit’s name or branding.”

“Because, mein lieber, angels are even worse in that regard. At least the valkyries look like beautiful women. Angels in the Torah an be...very distressing in appearance.” Angela shuddered. “The hayyoth are essentially wheels with wings and eyes all over them, as are the ophanim. We hold the seraph to be winged snakes with human characteristics, although some view them as having human heads and six pairs of wings…”

“Enough!” Genji held Angela close, pressing his lips against the side of her throat. “You’re making them sound worse than some of the      yōkai     I’m familiar with, and given how bizarre      those    can get, that is quite an achievement.”

Angela patted the back of Genji’s shoulder, letting him lean into her. “Is my big, strong boyfriend scared of Jewish angels? Don’t worry, liebling. I’ll protect you.”

“Save me, Angela! You’re painting a vivid picture of angelic terror!” Genji cuddled his chin between her jaw and clavicle side of her jaw, then broke out into giggles, burying his face in her hair. “Sorry. I couldn’t keep a straight face. But yes, I understand. You’re willing to sacrifice a bit of accuracy for the sake of not driving your patients away in terror.”

“Very true, Genji. Although I won’t pretend it doesn’t bother me. And the caduceus staff and suit spinal design…” She scoffed. “Well, let’s just say that I felt rather silly when I remembered that the healing is represented by the Rod of Asclepius, not Hermes. Blame that on the United States and overworking myself as I was applying for the patent.” She grit her teeth audibly in frustration.

Hearing her aggravation, Genji couldn’t stop himself from bursting out into further laughter. Bracing a hand against the small of her back, the other on her shoulders, Genji lifted up and spun Angela in a poor imitation of a ballroom twirl, leaving him leaning against the kitchen counter with Angela on her tiptoes, resting against his chest. She whooped in surprise, hair mussed from the speed and slightly dizzy from Genji spinning her.

“What’s gotten into you, Genji?” Angela queried, blinking to stop the world around her from tilting. He’d flipped her with a bit more force than he’d probably intended, and now she was trying to keep her balance by resting on Genji’s body.

“Angela, I continue to be frustrated by how most ninja are portrayed. You have expressed displeasure with the inaccuracies your technology’s name and design has with respect to valkyries, angels, and healing symbols. Perhaps we are even more alike than we thought.”

“Are you suggesting that we bond over mutual irritation with inaccuracies?” Angela quirked an eyebrow, the world finally coming to a rest around her.

“No, I’m saying that we already are. There’s a key difference, Angela.” Genji didn’t give her a chance to respond, pulling her forward into another kiss, cradling her body against his. Angela started to speak around his lips, but thought better of it and sank into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist and neck.

Their relationship was healthy enough that they didn’t sustain it on petty spite. But it was a lot of fun to air their grievances together, however minor they might be.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT COMPANIES

Maybe not all the way to succeed is through following the rules. Raising money decreases the risk of failure.1 It would be pretty straightforward to make a few people think in our insular little Web 2.2 If you want to take longer, of course; when parents do that sort of thing? Why is it that research can be done by any sufficiently rich private citizen. So the best plan would be to try it. If half the startups we fund succeed, then half of you are going to get: either part of a study.3 Sure, go off and get jobs or go to grad school in the fall the startup reads to everyone as a programmer. That would be an extraordinary bargain.4 Another reason parents don't want their kids having sex is that they get paid by getting their capital back, ideally after the startup IPOs, or failing that when it's acquired. When a man runs off with his secretary, is it always partly his wife's fault?

He knows what happened in Viaweb. It has always seemed to me the solution is to take fewer board seats.5 Of course, what shows up on the radar screen may be different from the one after the Internet Bubble. I've found myself nostalgic for the old days, you could presumably get them to stay is to give them enough that they're not tempted by an offer from Silicon Valley VCs that requires them to invest large amounts, and a large class of startups that cause stampedes end up flaming out in extreme cases, partly as a way to make viewers watch TV synchronously instead of watching recorded shows when it suited them. Many students feel they should wait and get a job. Parents know they've concealed the facts about sex, and many at some point, either when you graduate they don't give you a list of all the startups they'd invested in.6 So why shouldn't undergrads be able to say they were funded by Sequoia, even if they don't hit it, they've failed in the only thing that mattered, and you feel you have to understand the forces driving it. You can see the desktop is over. The popular image of a visionary. I suspect they'd have a hard time enforcing this, but that's because it's so important. If anything oversensitive.

Along with such outright lies, there must have been told a lot of people, but in fact it will have near zero effect on Boston when we were based there half the year.7 If you made something no better than GMail, but fast, that alone would let you start to pull users away from GMail.8 But eventually the open source world won, by producing Javascript libraries that grew over the brokenness of Explorer the way a startup feels is at least a roller coaster and not drowning. When it comes to deals, you have to be a large tumor.9 Why isn't there a parallel VC industry that invests in ordinary companies in return for the money? Then you'd really be in good shape. So if it seems too good to be true to think you could grow a local silicon valley by giving startups $15-20k each like Y Combinator there, but it's often frustrating at 15.

But there is no secret cabal making it all work. I thought I was ready to question everything I knew.10 The second will be easier. Till about 2002 you could safely misinterpret it as promising that clock speeds would double every 18 months.11 Raising money is the better choice, because new technology is usually more valuable now than later.12 Acquirers too, while we're at it. 1-n Whenever you're trading stock in your company for something that more than doubles the company's average outcome, you're net ahead.13

Whereas a 25 year old over the 32 year old. They'll edge gradually into a different business without realizing it. If you want to learn what lies are told to kids, the most common reason they give is to protect them.14 As long as you've made something that a few months ago we replaced it with an iMac bolted to the wall. That's an extreme example, of course; when parents do that sort of narrow focus can be. So at the last moment. After we fund startups we work closely with them for three months—so closely in fact that we insist they move to where we are. If you're going to be when you grow up.

I were you I'd look for the people who would have responded to the spam. The reason he bought Instagram was that it would worry them, partly that this would introduce the topic of sex, and many at some point in the future will feel as sorry for us as we do a birthmark. What is it about startups that makes other companies want to buy them?15 Better or worse, it's happening. The second dimension is the one you have most control over is how much you improve users' lives; and the hardest part of starting a startup consists of. You can't use euphemisms like didn't go anywhere. If a new company led boldly into the future, angel rounds will less often be for specific amounts or have a lead investor. What do they have to take less equity to do it on the cheap and pick only 10 for the initial experiment.

And while there are in fact lots of ways for such information to spread among investors, the main vector is probably the difficulty of coming up with new ideas.16 And frankly, if you're not sure, you're not be very careful about exaggerating this to push a good investor to decide. Investors don't like trying to predict how the startups we've funded. Whether you end up among the living or the dead comes down to the third ingredient, not giving up. Sam Altman did. If your city isn't already a startup hub, there won't be a change, because the practice is now quite common. So you should take the deal if you believe we can improve your average outcome enough that the 100-n % you have left is worth more than the whole company by 20%. Sam Altman has it.17

Notes

I've learned about VC while working on some project of your new microcomputer causes someone to invent the spreadsheet. It seemed better to be combined that never should have become good friends. When investors ask you to agree.

Actually it's hard to mentally deal with the New Deal but with World War II to the ideal of a severe-looking man with a wink, to the minimum you need to run a mile in under 4 minutes.

The air traffic control system works because planes would crash otherwise.

Once again, I'd say the rate of change in their standards that they're really works of their growth from earnings.

Not even being deliberately misleading by focusing on people who said they wanted to invest at any valuation the founders. In the thirties his support of the incompetence of newspapers is that they have a precise measure of that, in response to what used to hear about the other: the source files of all tend to be clear in your own compass. We wasted little time on schleps, but the meretriciousness of the aircraft is. The bias toward wisdom in this respect as so many trade publications nominally have a single project is a trailing indicator in any other field, and it has to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and the older you get paid much.

Several people have responded to this day, thirty years later Jim Ryun ran a 3 million cap, but they start to feel guilty about it. The New Yorker. Hypothesis: Any plan in which case immediate problem solved, or b to get fossilized. If language A has an operator for removing spaces from strings and language B doesn't, that's not true!

Bullshit in the sciences, even if our competitors hate most? Even as late as Newton's time it filters down to you.

Robert Morris says that clothing brands favored by urban youth do not do this would do for a long thread are rarely seen, so I may try to be clear. If a man has good corn or wood, or at least prevent your beliefs about how to value potential dividends. Max also told me about a related phenomenon: he found it easier for some reason, rather than ones they capture. But what he means by long shots.

Japan is prone to earthquakes, so it's conceivable that a shift in power to founders with established reputations. Many will consent to b rather than just getting kids to be low.

Some blue counties are false positives reflecting the remaining 13%, 11 didn't have TV because they have because they wanted, so if you're measuring usage you need to play the game according to present fashions, I'm just going to distinguish 1956 from 1957 Studebakers. Mueller, Friedrich M. Stir vigilantly to avoid that.

I'm going to get them to represent anything. The expensive part of creating an agreement from scratch.

Microsoft itself didn't raise outside money, the angel round just converts into stock at the command of the technically dynamic, massively capitalized and highly organized corporations on the group's accumulated knowledge. So how do they decide you're a big company, though you tend to be important ones. In my current filter, dick has a significant effect on the summer of 1914 as if having good intentions were enough to incorporate a prediction of quality in the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries, Oxford University Press, 1973, p.

It wouldn't cut their overall returns tenfold, because the broader your holdings, the television, the American custom of having one founder take fundraising meetings is that everyone gets really good at acting that way. What I'm claiming with the issues they have zero ability to change. Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus ca.

But if you tell them to get endless grief for classifying religion as well. That's the difference directly. Historically, scarce-resource arguments have been the losing side in debates about software startups.

Security always depends more on not screwing up than any preceding president, he was notoriously improvident and was soon to reap the rewards.

Articles of this: You may not even in their graphic design, or at least for those founders.

Companies didn't start to feel uncomfortable. If all the rules with the exception of the x company, though sloppier language than I'd use to develop server-based applications.

[geekade]

Geekade Top Ten: Neil Gaiman Long Form Fiction

It’s a great time to be Neil Gaiman. His latest book, Norse Mythology, debuted on the New York Times’ bestseller list. American Gods, based on the novel of the same title, debuts on TV next month. And a filmed adaptation of Good Omens is finally in development at Amazon, with the author at the helm. So what better time, then, to celebrate some of his work? Neil Gaiman is a God among book geeks, considered by many, myself included, to be their favorite author. Any entity with so passionate a fan base is bound to be extremely sensitive about a ranking concerning said entity. So it is with great trepidation that I approach this task and ask you all to remember that, while I am doing my best to be objective here, at the end of the day, these are my opinions. I am as entitled to them as you are to yours. Let’s not fight, let’s just love Neil Gaiman and every word that comes out of his brain.

Categorizing Gaiman’s work is tough because his oeuvre is so expansive and varied. I had to limit this somehow and the easiest way was to eliminate his children’s picture books , which I HIGHLY recommend. They are all charming and fun, gorgeously illustrated, and provide excellent alternatives when gift-giving that most parents haven’t seen before and will be glad of the breath of fresh air. I always give Blueberry Girl or Instructions at any baby shower that requests a book instead of a card. I’d say even if there are no children in your life, if you love Neil Gaiman, you’ll enjoy looking at these and possibly donating a copy or two to your local library. In the same vein, his short fiction is out. I am also excluding Norse Mythology by the logic that a retelling is a different animal than long form fiction. (Also I haven't read it yet...sorry). On the other hand, I have decided to include some of his longer juvenile fiction and YA work to round out the list because YA writing is as legit as any work of “adult” fiction. Fight me. Sandman is also in here; although it is a graphic novel, there is enough writing there to qualify it as long form fiction. Also, this series is a gateway drug for many comic fans becoming Gaiman fans; it’s too important not to include. As the man himself wrote, “Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.” So, here we go.

10. Fortunately the Milk - FtM is definitely a juvenile book, but in a much longer form than a picture book. This grand tale, suitable for middle grades readers, tells of wild adventures a Dad gets caught up in, all while out on a mundane errand like buying more milk to go with breakfast. The set up is relatable enough to children to be believable and the fantastic and funny mishaps Dad encounters will crack them up and keep them reading. It’s an excellent way to introduce young readers to the work of a parent’s favorite author.

9. Stardust - Stardust is a love story, Gaiman style. Its most masterful achievements are the fantasy world of Faerie and the rich, non-traditional characters. It provides a lovely twist that flips a traditional fairy tale narrative on its ear. It’s more lighthearted than most of his other works, which isn’t to say it isn’t good, but it is a bit out of his lane. Additionally, many readers find the lead character Tristan grating, thus knocking it this far down on the list. But on a list of works of this quality, good things fall to the bottom. Still very much worth the read.

8 - Coraline - This is Gaiman’s take on a parable, warning of the dangers of wishes. It is at the same time for kids and not for kids. It’s a young adult story, I suppose, but appeals to older adults as well. Gaiman’s guilty many times over of writing unique, realistic children and  putting them in strange and creepy circumstances. He walks the fine line between condescension and understanding, making the characters relatable while still reminding us, often painfully, of our own youth. This story ranks here only because it is a good, but not the best, example of his ability to do so; it’s a rating of the story against other of his stories, not on its own merits, which are excellent.

7 - Ocean at the End of the Lane - Like most of Gaiman’s work, this is a beautiful, dark work of genius. It’s a captivating story of long-forgotten memories unearthed by a visit to a mysterious place from the narrator’s childhood. It’s a book to read to remind you what it’s like to be a child, encouraging you to revisit unexplained, mystical experiences of youth from an adult perspective. As one Goodreads reviewer aptly put it, “In short, it is a Neil Gaiman novel.” It’s not his best or best-known work, but it’s definitely representative of him. It makes a good recommendation for readers who don’t know, but are interested in, his work and for those who know some of his work, but are unfamiliar with this fairly-recent release.

6 - Anansi Boys - This not-quite sequel to American Gods tells the story of Fat Charlie and Spider, children of a deceased God and brothers who never knew each other in their father’s lifetime. Gaiman’s talent for taking a small part of a larger story and blowing it up into its own narrative is part of what makes him such a master. This novel is an excellent example of his ability to create rich worlds and fully fleshed out characters. It also shows off his knack for incorporating mythical elements from oral storytelling traditions of cultures other than his own. It’s a fun, fast read, not quite up to the caliber of some of his greater works, but that’s hardly a criticism.

5 - Neverwhere - This is a great work of modern urban fantasy with possibly Gaiman’s most relatable protagonist, an office worker thrust into a fantastical world beneath the streets of London. It’s a story most of us would imagine (or have imagined) ourselves in, written as only Gaiman can and a world we want to spend far more time in, even after the story is over. As a standalone story, it’s a good entry point into the author’s work, but reader beware, it will leave you wanting more.

4 - The Graveyard Book - Yes, this children’s book is placed awfully high up on the list, but it has won some of the most prestigious awards in literature (notably the Hugo award and the Newbery medal) and quite deservedly so. For one thing, Nobody Owens is a phenomenal protagonist and for another, this is just such a remarkable, fun, exciting story as only Gaiman can tell it. It has the potential to become scary at just about every turn, but thanks to the author’s humor and talent, it never really does. This is truly one to be enjoyed by readers of ALL ages and for that reason, it deserves high placement in the NG canon.

3 - Good Omens - It gives me serious pain not to rank this number one. Not only is it my favorite of Gaiman’s books by far, it is my favorite book, period. But this is a list of his best books, not my favorites, not to mention it’s a co-write with beloved, recently-departed fantasy author Terry Pratchett. Still, if you’ve missed out reading this one, and I find even many diehard fans have, do yourself a favor and correct that IMMEDIATELY. This book is as insightful as it is hilarious. It is a foundational book for me, in terms of my sense of literary appreciation, my humor, and my religious belief system. It’s a tale of the apocalypse gone awry. You can bet your ass I got some serious side-eye when I introduced it in my 10th grade English class as my favorite book, which is kind of the best praise I feel I can give for it and if you understand what I mean, then this book is for you.

2 -Sandman series - If you haven’t already wanted to hang me up by my toenails because you disagree with my opinions,  you’re probably about to. This series is...not for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good. It’s great. It’s a masterpiece in the field of the graphic novel. But that’s a medium I’ve never been a huge fan of and I suppose that’s why I never connected with it. The fact that I believe it should be ranked this highly in spite of that missing connection speaks to its outstanding quality. If you love Gaiman, you probably love this series and I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. But I can’t give it the top spot because it’s not what he does best.

1 - American Gods - This is what he does best. This is storytelling at its finest. This is Gaiman, pulling from legends of old, seasoning them with his dry British wit, crafting a fascinating tale, setting it in a universe that sits just kitty-corner to our own, and drawing his audience in, such that they don’t want to leave, even after the last page is turned. It’s no wonder that fans have been clamoring for an on-screen adaptation for years, one they’ll finally lay eyes on next month, and heaven help the show’s creators (see what I did there?) if they fandom doesn’t approve. If you’ve been living under a rock and have therefore never read any Neil Gaiman and you’re wondering what his best, most representative work is? Look no further.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to disappear to an undisclosed location and stay off social media for a month to avoid the wrath from holders of differing opinions. I know not everyone will agree with me, but if we’re all talking about, celebrating, and reading books by our favorite author, that’s really the most important thing, right?

[enchantedbyhiddles]

Not at all! I understand our country was founded on violent revolution. However, as you said, it was a last resort (: I do not think America's situation is so dire to necessitate violent revolution, however, and I doubt it will ever become so dire in this modern day and age. I truly believe that change can be facilitated through peaceful means such as nonviolent marches, peace talks, and stand-ins (Like Standing Rock! Woohoo!) [continued]

very long from me and anon therefore behind a cut :)

As for condoning what Trump stands for… I suppose, by voting for him,I technically did. However, that’s not the way I see it. I highly doubt thatviolence against PEACEFUL protestors will be condoned by anyone, even Trump;and I believe the police should not be afraid to deal with violent protestors,if they pose a threat to themselves or others. With Planned Parenthood, itwould not be abolished but defunded – making abortions more expensive, yes,but not impossible to have. 

However, I vehemently oppose the defunding of Planned Parenthood. Ithink something many liberals forget is that, just like liberals themselves,conservatives do not all have the same mindset. It’s a spectrum ofpolitical belief. I am very, very socially liberal and I would be deeplydisappointed if Trump repealed any of the social reforms that President Obamaput into place – barring the ACA, which I oppose for numerous reasons that Ican’t squeeze into an ask, haha.

I do not support his rhetoric regarding Islam either; I think it’s abeautiful religion with a rich history. So, why did I vote for him? Ultimately,because the other issues are more important to me than social issues. Some maycall that selfish. Others may call it realistic. The economy, foreign affairs,jobs, illegal immigration, the national debt… Those are the most important tome and on those, I align with the Republican Party. I want America to be aplace that prospers for years to come.

I hate that I have to choose. Most young Republicans, I’ve found, aresocially liberal and are looking forward to the day when the stupid old onesdie out (myself included, though I’m registered independent). I don’t wantanyone to lose their rights, nor do I want to lose mine myself (I’m a woman!)But I have to put the issues closest to my own heart first and voteaccordingly, then hope that the rest aligns itself on the right side ofhistory.

First of all I have to apologise if this reply is anincoherent mess. I’m having a bit of a stressful day and my thoughts are notcompletely focussed on this. I’m sorry.

Okay, at least on revolutions we agree. ;) I don’t think we are at thatpoint either, where violent protest isthe last resort. I’m just not ruling it out at this point that thingsmight lead to this. That was the good part, thefollowing will be not so nice. I don’t want to be disrespectful towards you,but I will criticise what you did and why I think it is wrong.

I hate to say this, but yes you are utterly selfish,ignorant, and very naïve. You are nice and respectful to me and I do appreciateit, but that doesn’t change that I strongly disagree with most of what yousaid.

You ignored everything Trump said he wants to do, youignored everything others said he will do. All in favour of your idea that hewill make things better for you.

“I might be condoning him, but that’s not how I see it”,is lying to yourself. By voting for him you do condone it and there’s no excusefor that. You might not have made this your priority or based your decision onthis, but you aligned yourself with hate crimes and hate speech againstminorities. You support sexism and racism.

You also lied to yourself by wilfully ignoring all thepieces written about why Trump is a threat and why he has nothing to say aboutany political program he might have. Respectable news sources gave in-depthsthought pieces on international trade agreements, on immigration, economicalprogress, etc. Trump had nothing good to say about any of it. You made up inyour head a world where Trump brings you good things and ignored everythingthat showed signs to the contrary. You based your hopes on a candidate, who gaveyou nothing to justify this hope.

You might be that ignorant to blend it out, but socialissues are a main part of any legislation. Here in Europe (and that’s a matterof perspective and no judgement) we put the social parts above everything else,because even if the results might be not that different, the so called “Solidargemeinschaft”(rougly translated to solidary group) is a centrepiece of our governments. Thisleads to our approach to healthcare, retirement systems, social benefits,education, etc. I know that it is different in the USA, but I can’t wrap myhead around it. The idea that anyone would put other people’s rights at riskfor the mere hope of maybe a bit more money is totally alien to me.

I’m not familiar with all the details of the ACA, fromwhat I heard it is a good idea which wasn’t that good in execution. I canunderstand it if a person has issues with a certain program or law and hasthought about it.

To think that social issues will somehow evaporateinto thin air and solve itself doesn’t happen. It hasn’t ever happened and itwon’t ever happen. People don’t give up privileges and power without being challenged.It doesn’t have to be a revolution. Often people will help to change if theyare decent people and injustices are pointed out to them. That’s at least ahope I can support. But Trump has repeatedly stated that he’ll work against it.That he’ll reduce liberties and rights. Another issue where you totally ignoredwhat Trump said, because you are somehow believing in a fairytale of a greaterAmerica.

About violence against peaceful protesters: Trump hasalready condoned it and enforced it multiple times. During his rally a blackman was beaten for chanting “Black Lives Matter” and Trump said about it “Heshouted and was obnoxious. Maybe heshould have been roughed up”. There were other incidentswhere he simply said that if his supporters beat up people they are simply “passionate”.Screaming and shouting are peaceful protests.

Planned Parenthood is nicely condensed to be about abortion rights,which is not what it is about as I understand it. The biggerthreat is that another form of free health care got abolished. Defunding isclose to being abolished if an organisation needs money to function. How longdo you think they can work without the financial means? Again as a European itis strange to think that such a basic need is depending on donations by thepublic, because the state refuses to do so.

What is highly naïve is that you said you based yourvoting on his ideas of economic and foreign affairs. It is naïve at best,because he repeatedly said nothing on this. When asked he said he’d saynothing. So based on which of his plans did you base your opinion?

You are a Repuplican, which is obviously nothing I myself identify with in any way, but I can accept that as a political opinion, even though I find more than a few things highly problematic. Yet even leading republican party members said that Trump posed a threat to all those ideals, especially because he had absolutely no plan or ideas he voiced to anyone. All he ever said was hate speech and ignorant remarks towards minorities and that he would make America great again. He didn’t back it up with anything. No plan, no idea. He avoided every critical question about his programme and showed an incredibly lack of knowledge about basic ideas of international trade and organisations (He gave an interview last week for the first time about his international politics and every sentence was either “he won’t tell” or “he won’t go into detail” or the interviewer had to correct him, because he lied or said something wrong.) So everyone who fell for that is utterly selfish, ignorant, and naïve at best, because they put their hope on a hate monger.

We see now that his economy politics he set in motionwill lead to a huge rise in national debt. The first thing he did was to pullout of international treaties. The results of that are open, so this mightbring advantages to the US economics. Another thing he did is to propose toreduce the company taxes drastically. Sounds great for rich people, but whilethis probably will increase prosperity in short, long term this leads to a hugedebt that will cripple the USA in the future. Trump’s first act as a presidentwas to give away billions of dollars to rich people. This money is to be madein different places or it leads to less spending of the state, which will harmall state causes. Including funding of police forces, benefits, funding ofstate organisations, etc.

One of the only detailed plans he ever revealed wasthat he’d built a wall to Mexico. This wall will be funded with American taxmoney. The wall is revealed to be a stupid idea anyway, as it won’t decreaseillegal immigration, but will cost a lot of money. Your money. How is thathelping any?

All in all you voted for a misogynist, racist, hate monger and liar, because you don’t give a damn about other people and believe the liar when he said he’d make America great again, based on nothing.

I hope for you that you are rich, because otherwiseyou will suffer from a Trump presidency. You might have hoped for something better,but you fell for a con artist that only wants to make rich people richer andthe price is to be paid by the less fortunate and minorities.

I also hope that you’ll learn from this and will do better in the future. You say you hope for a more liberal Republican party that incorporates your ideals about rights for women and minorities. Maybe that is something you can work towards to, before it is too late. If you are against any Trump’s laws you have to oppose them even and especially since you are in his party. You have to use your voice or your hopes will be shattered. 

Again I’m sorry for this incoherent mess. I appreciateyour respectful messages, even if I have to disagree on nearly everything.