#I’m so unbelievably gay for those two it��s not even funny

[marshieee]

We just changed

Timeskip Osamu x fem! Reader

Warning⚠️: angst

Part 6

A/N: this is where i get in lmao😂, thank you again to this angel @iis4d for proofreading this❤️ imma be watch jjk and make u fic don’t worry

Am i the pathetic one? Or you? I want my love to change...

It has been two months since that awful night, since that last heated argument and the last time you saw him face to face.

You’ve been doing fine unlike the past month, trying new stuffs and focusing on yourself. You got a part time job as a tutor so that atleast helped the two with the bills, futakuchi and aone was helping you with all their might which you definitely appreciated.

Futakuchi didn’t mentioned that he met your ex, it wasn’t that important so why would he? He’s still keeping his promise more like a declaration to osamu that he’ll make sure that you’re gonna be ok, you’ll be fine under his care and he plans to keep it that way.

“Oho~ what did you just say? You’re going to tokyo?”

You rolled your eyes at the irritating remark from your cousin, as much as possible Futakuchi wanted to volunteer on going to tokyo on your behalf again, but you insisted.

“Yes i am and don’t worry tokyo is big it’s not like I’m going to bump to my ex anytime soon”

That’s what you thought, you were at a shopping district trying to buy cheap things that caught your attention and to be honest it’s not like you’re gonna use them anyways but hey wasting money is fun.

But your attention was averted to a certain girl, you would have just ignored her but no, something caught your attention and it was the person who’s she with.

And without any second thoughts your feet unconsciously went up to them and now, now you are infront of them.

“Can we help you?”

“Um yes uh can i talk to you for a moment?”

They looked at each other before turning to you, before her partner was about to say something.

“Sure, baby can you wait here this will be quick i promise”

“Alright then”

She dragged you to the restroom which was miraculously empty, you don’t know what’s going on your mind yet you were to focused on wanting to talk to her.

“So? What do want to talk about?”

“What happened to you and osamu? Did you two broke up?”

It was a bit sudden but certainly you caught her off guard by those questions.

“Ahh~ so you’re the girlfriend”

She had an amused smile plastered on her face as she scanned you, pursing your lips you hesitated to answer nevertheless you still did.

“Yes but—“

“Hold on judging your from your expression it’s ex girlfriend now huh?”

You nodded slowly, she just scoffed and the way that she looks, she looks a bit offended.

“Right before anything else I’m Aj”

She offered her hand which you awkwardly accepted with a forced smile.

“Y/N, nice to meet you”

“So what was your question again?”

“Did you and Osamu break up?”

“We weren't even dating in the first place”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me”

Shocked as you try to process that one sentence she just said. They weren’t dating? How come? They were just fine the last time you saw them, they even look like they were.

“You two...weren’t dating?”

“No.”

“How come-“

“Ah so you saw us? Figured.”

Aj sighed, she was expecting that you’ll eventually catch them red handed, she was surprised that you hadn't lashed out on her already.

“Osamu and I were just fuck buddies, no strings attached.”

This was confusing to you, they were so intimate, you assumed that they were dating behind your back. Aj caught up with the expression on your face and immediately knew what’s going on.

“We met at the bar, he approached me and started flirting to which I flirted back of course...”

She clicked her tongue and looked away, it was clear that she was irritated talking about that.

“I’ve always wanted to meet you, you know.”

“What?”

She looks at you with guilty eyes, was she guilty about stealing Osamu from you? Does she want to apologize to you? You never blamed anyone for this, especially not her.

“I... I didn’t know Osamu had a girlfriend”

This left you dumbfounded, so she never knew about your existence? You should have expected something like this because it hurts hearing something like this from her.

“When we met at the bar I had asked him if he was seeing anyone, of course if he had said yes, I wouldn’t be flirting back, I would have immediately said no, I’m not that kind of a person who’s going to fuck someone that's already in a relationship heck even someone that's married! I’m not that fucking low.”

You could tell that she was serious, frustrated even. You just stayed silent waiting for her to continue.

“He told me that he was single.”

Aj mocked the word single as she rolled her eyes remembering that horrible memory.

“So I flirted back as i never knew that he had a girlfriend of...?”

“S...six years”

And with a scoff Aj sarcastically laughed, unbelievable that asshole cheated on a girl he’s been dating for six fucking years?! What a joke! What a fucking joke!

“This is the worst am I right?”

“Yeah”

“So..anything else? what do you want to know?”

“How long have you been...fuck buddies?”

Aj was hesitating if she should answer that question or not, either way both are painful options so she just choose to answer your question.

“Two months”

Two months, he’s been cheating on you for two months which means those I love you's and kisses were already shallow, those hugs and I miss you's was never genuine.

“Two months...I see”

“I’m sorry”

“No don’t be, it wasn’t your fault”

“But-“

Aj chose to shut up, this is not the right time to argue if she was at fault or not since you were trying to process the information she just gave to you.

“Just awhile ago you told me you wanted to see me..why?”

“Well that’s because I became aware of your existence”

“Someone told you about me, who?”

“I don’t know who but he was tall and got this slanted eyes.”

The first person that came into your mind who fitted Aj’s description.

“Rin”

“He came to me and told me about you.”

It was the same day Osamu left her apartment early in the morning.

“How can i help you?”

“Leave Osamu alone or just don’t involve yourself with him anymore”

“Um excuse me?”

Whoever this man is he got the nerve to say that to her early in the morning.

“Ok mister whoever the hell are you, what’s your relationship with him anyways? Why are you telling me to not get involved with him anymore?”

Before suna could react AJ suddenly gasped.

“ARE YOU PERHAPS G—“

“No I’m not gay! And no I don’t like Osamu in that way! I’m just.........a colleague”

“Huh then can you tell me why did you say that earlier?”

“Because Osamu has a girlfriend”

“What?”

And then suna told her everything, right after that she decided that the next time she and Osamu will meet, she’ll end whatever things they had.

Apparently when she and Osamu met again, Osamu was also thinking the same thing.

She looked at the man infront of her clearly didn’t have the energy to even look at her.

“So you have a girlfriend”

That’s when osamu’s eyes shots at aj, he did consider the possibility of aj knowing about you but he didn’t expect that she would have known this early

“How—“

“So you were lying?”

“Aj..”

“You were right?”

“Yeah”

Aj pushed her hair back and clicked her tounge, unbelievable fucking unbelievable! So she was fucking someone who’s already taken? Great! Fucking great.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“....”

“Oh now you’re not gonna answer?”

“Alcohol...”

“Oh yeah? You were pretty sober to me that time osamu”

He avoided his gaze,

“Ok sure let’s say you were DRUNK at that time....how come you still kept it a secret for two fucking months?”

“I..i—“

“Oh! So you were playing with me? Sure i fuck everybody but i will never fuck someone who’s in a relationship osamu and you FUCKING know that”

“Yeah i do”

“Then why?!”

“I...i don’t know”

Aj scoffed,

“You don’t know? You don’t know? Hahahaha BULLSHIT I don’t believe that you did not know, that's bullcrap osamu”

“I was just caught up in lust and—“

“Fuck you”

Osamu lowered his head to avoid her glare, right..fuck him and his life he deserves this.

“Let’s end this bullshit osamu”

He nodded in agreement.

“Yeah...you’re right”

Aj was about to leave but one last time she turned around to face osamu again.

“Just one more thing before I go”

Aj instantly slapped Osamu hard on the face, Osamu on the other hand didn’t do anything.

“Asshole.”

“I know.....I’m sorry.”

She couldn't believe that she was deceived by some jerk, she never really wanted that to happen if only she had known about Osamu’s relationship.

“Thanks to that jerk my trust issues are way worse now”

“Tell me about it”

Aj patted you on the shoulder and gave you a small smile.

“I’m sorry that happened and I’m glad i got to talk to you”

“Thank you for telling me Aj”

“Might be too late though but you did deserve to know the truth."

You just nodded and returned a small but genuine smile, you were both victims of the same man, she didn’t do anything wrong, she just knew nothing.

“Funny huh?”

“What is?”

Aj looked at you with a small smile.

“We’re both been lied to by the same guy”

“Victims of the same guy”

“Yeah...”

You two stood there a couple of minutes before AJ turned to the sink and started to wash her hands.

“Well i think I already told you what you wanted to know.”

She started to wipe her hands then looks at you.

“I’m glad you broke up with Osamu, you deserve someone better”

“Thank you, you too.”

“Oh darling hahahaha...I’m not planning on finding the right person yet.”

“O-Oh?”

She gave a wink then turned her heels and walked out leaving you all alone, you heard her shout.

“TERUSHIMA! BABY!”

You were relieved that she’s doing fine after all of that, you saw your reflection and frowned.

“Good for her, I guess.”

Well it’s just two months no wonder she’s alright already unlike you, you need to cope with the lost 6 years of relationship.

‘You’ll be alright' you mindlessly reminded yourself

“I’ll be fine”

Part 7

[silentauroriamthereal]

So, I watched Happiest Season yesterday, and I have thoughts. A lot of thoughts. Spoilers abound and this is long, so I’ll put this under a cut. 

Happiest Season: a review

You have to ask yourself how “happy” a happy ending really is when you glance down at the time bar on the film and see that there’s less than fifteen minutes left and none of the story’s problems have been even remotely resolved.

Skip to the closing credits, and I hadn’t changed my mind. This is a “happy” ending where a great deal of the problems in the plot were left either completely unresolved, or whose happiness wasn’t earned – wasn’t properly fleshed out, developed, supported, or in fact, even happy.

What an incredibly toxic family the Caldwells are. Let’s start with them: there are three daughters. Sloan has apparently cemented her parents’ permanent disappointment by having left a promising legal career in favour of raising a family. Side tangent: are we really still having this discussion, in 2020? This binary choice between family OR career? Besides, Sloan evidently developed a different, and very lucrative career. I also strongly dislike the way the perception of her marriage ending is portrayed as a failure. Her awful parents both resent her having left the legal field, yet have refused to now see her as anything other than a parent, ignoring her new career choice and, it seems, literally anything else about her. Then we have Jane, who is overtly abused. Treated as lesser than anyone else in the family apart from technical support with malfunctioning printers, Jane is constantly criticized, chastised, literally told to not put herself in the centre of the family for a holiday photo. I was horrified and devastated by the wanton destruction of her painting at the end, too. I’m happy for her that her book got published and that she found success there, but I hate that this brutal, completely unnecessary destruction of her art happened and was totally overlooked.

I’m going to come back to Harper, because there’s a LOT to say there.

The way the parents, Tipper and Ted, treated Abby, was appalling from start to finish. Leaving aside the ENTIRE question of the secret girlfriend thing, if my family ever treated a friend or even distant acquaintance the way the Caldwells treated Abby, I would be furious with them. I used to frequently bring friends who were international students or just on their own for the holidays to my parents’ place for Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas festivities. These people were so, so, so incredibly rude to Abby, from ignoring her when she first arrived to giving her a terrible bedroom with a door that doesn’t lock, to walking in on her multiple times while she was changing or in bed – that level of complete disrespect infuriated me! Just allowing those awful kids to be in her private space without any sort of discipline, consequences, or apologies was unacceptable. The way they treated Abby after those same kids – which she was stuck with, without any sort of request to watch them – planted that necklace on her, was unacceptable. The utter lack of apology for having literally accused her of theft, for accusing her multiple times after that – WOW. Treating Abby as though she was the unexpected, extra guest at the restaurant that first night, and giving the ex-boyfriend the parents kept shoving on Harper the proper one was unacceptable.

Then there’s how Harper treated Abby. Let’s start with the restaurant: first of all, had my parents pulled that stunt on my friend/guest/secret girlfriend, I would have let them know then and there that it wasn’t okay. And then I would have, I don’t know, asked the staff to bring a proper chair, and if that turned out to be impossible, I would have insisted that she take mine instead, and sat on the little chair myself. Asking anyone to closet themselves is an act of violence, and watching that as a member of the LGBTQ2+ community was actively harmful to witness. Again, a lot of the crap that Harper subjected Abby to would have been awful no matter WHO Abby was: you don’t abandon your guest to hang out with old friends. If they’re ready to go home, then you go home with them. It’s basic hospitality. Considering that Abby was Harper’s partner, that’s a whole extra layer of harm. THEN add the ex-boyfriend, a horribly-treated ex-girlfriend, and toxic old friends to the mix, and you have something beyond appalling. Adding this stuff on top of not standing up for Abby to her family, not insisting that she be given somewhere proper to sleep during her time in her parents’ house, not insisting that she be treated with the most basic respect, not defending her during the whole jewellery theft situation, and even going along with the parents’ de-invitation to that dinner – that’s inexcusable. You don’t treat other people that way, much less your partner. Then add Harper calling Abby controlling, while simultaneously having the nerve to get angry about Abby spending time with Riley, which is possibly the only good thing that happened for Abby during that entire, awful trip – yeah. I was finished with Harper by that point.

Harper also actively participated in the way her sisters were constantly put down by their parents. The responsibility of being the privileged favourite is to use your status to bring others up. Harper doesn’t appear to have any sort of spine or courage whatsoever. It was only after she was forcibly outed by Sloan – and such was her privilege that the parents believed that it was a “malicious” lie rather than a “shocking” secret – that Harper even admitted the truth, and that was only after forcing Abby to watch her deny it yet it again. While I did love John (the gay best friend)’s entire speech about someone’s love not being the same thing as being ready to come out, there is nonetheless a ton of harm in forcing your partner watch that. It does affect them. It does disavow their identity at the same time, when they’re in a relationship with you. Her pattern of behaviour of throwing other people under the bus, like Riley, is very much intact.

I completely comprehend Harper’s fear of being rejected by her family. Apparently it was a well-founded fear, based on her awful, awful parents. That’s one of the reasons why the ending didn’t resonate for me at all: it wasn’t earned. Harper’s turn-around from being completely unwilling to have her parents know the truth to claiming that Abby was the only thing that mattered to her, came out of nowhere. It wasn’t a supported development. It happened too quickly. Similarly, the parents both going from being just about the worst parents on the planet to having a VERY sudden change of heart and behaviour, just happened unbelievably quickly. There was no questioning the entire history of their practises or what was wrong with them, no questioning how they’d treated any of their kids. The whole “consequence” for Ted was deciding, of his own accord, not to align himself with a politician who would force Harper to zip it – sorry, continue to zip it – about her identity. He shouldn’t have aligned himself with that woman in the first place. No one ever apologized to Abby about the way they treated her from start to finish, from patronizing her for being an orphan or the constant lack of respect shown her, to the false accusations of theft. Not a single part of it was atoned for at any point. Even Tipper being so disgusted with Abby’s ipad photography skills was disgusting. You just don’t talk to other human beings that way, and there was no resolution for me on any of this. There were also no consequences for Sloan’s horrific, SUPER-public outing of Harper, for Harper’s destruction of Jane’s painting, for the kids’ planting of the necklace on Abby, or for anyone’s horrendous treatment of Abby in general.

So yes: when you’re less than fifteen minutes out from the end of a supposed romantic comedy that was more upsetting to watch than entertaining or funny, and you’re actively rooting for the main character to walk away from her so-called partner and her toxic family, that’s not good. I’m not sold on the “romance” aspect, either. John (Dan Levy’s character) was the only good part of this movie, for me, and that’s overlooking his completely rude ignoring while on his phone at the beginning, or his negligent care of the animals he was supposed to be taking care of. (Gross, again – animals’ lives have value, too, and if my pet sitter killed my pet through negligence while I was away, I would be furious!) But his point about “sticking it to the patriarchy” in terms of Abby asking Ted for his permission/blessing to marry Harper was spot on. For all the hype about this being a progressive, lesbian, holiday rom-com, this film managed to perpetuate a lot of gross aspects of straight, white, misogynistic, heteronormative culture, like women being the property of their fathers and needing to obtain a male parent’s “permission” to marry another human being. The only person’s “permission” that was needed here was Harper’s, and then it’s not about permission – it’s about two adults making a consensual decision to commit themselves to each other. It’s great if you have the support of family – aka, BOTH parents, on BOTH sides – but that support is a bonus, not a prerequisite. Perpetuating the false dichotomy of family vs career for women only, is a harmful one to keep perpetuating. That question is never asked of men.

I was honestly kind of disgusted that Abby chose to stay with Harper by the end. I get it, but it definitely didn’t leave me with warm, romantic feelings. It left me with the deflated feeling I invariably experience whenever a woman makes the choice to be the bigger person and submit herself to a damaging situation or relationship. Mostly what I’m left with is anger that no one spoke up for Abby at any point, even John. That, and anger and sorrow over Jane’s painting. So yeah: it wasn’t as bad as bury your gays, but it also wasn’t really a happy ending for me, or super enjoyable to watch. Do better, Hollywood. Do a lot better.

[elfautumn]

Teen Wolf is unbelievably unrealistic which is maddening because its a show about WEREWOLVES

I’ve watched up to season 3 episode 6 of teen wolf, not necessarily expecting it to be amazing because yanno, 2000s tv wasn’t generally amazing, but oh my god it’s worse than I thought it would be

The only real qualm I have with the first season is just that it’s weirdly sexual. Like all the time. The title cards are literally what are supposed to be sophomores in high school shirtless, which doesn’t sit right with me. Aside from that, it’s a teen drama werewolf show, and teen dramas involving supernatural beings aren’t really the best in cinema. I will say throughout the whole first season the only person I ever really cared about was Stiles, probably because I have a soft spot for “left behind sidekick friend,” but also because he’s genuinely funny sometimes. Jackson was a close second only because I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s bi, and also jerks are fun characters. All in all super weird but what drama isn’t.

Season 2 is where I lose my mind just a little bit. There were some fun plotlines, and the teasing of Lydia possibly being the Kanima was actually off-putting, because I was really set on it being her. It is weird how everyone interacts in this season given that they’re still, oh I don’t know, SOPHOMORES IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO SHOULD NOT BE HAVING THIS MUCH SEX. I mean seriously, it’s like this show was made for 20 year olds who’ve never seen a tv in their life. They’re like “Oh yeah they’re in high school haha the good ole days” and simultaneously “Look at these literal children having sex isn’t that so fun.” It made me very uncomfortable. My likeable characters increased by 1 because I also have a soft spot for trauma boys, and Isaac just gets it piled on. Regardless, this is not the season I have the main issue with.

And now we get to where I currently am, and the reason I even made this, because I’M SORRY, AN ALPHA PACK????? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??? They made these arbitrary rules about werewolf packs, showed off the abilities of the levels, showed the transfer of power, and then had the auDACITY to end season 2 with the words “An Alpha pack.” *insert the extreme mental break I had over hearing those two stupid, stupid words together*. I feel like how Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off probably felt before going into Ferris’ house, because I can’t deal with this crap. Not only did the show runners decide an alpha pack, which given the previous descriptions of packs from the resident expert Derek Hale shouldn’t even exist, was a good idea, they spat in my face with the words Demon Wolf.                                 I’ve never felt more insulted in my life. The delivery wasn’t even clever, it was an old guy yelling “I AM THE DEMON WOOOOLF”  I N T O  T H E  S K Y. Another thing about the alpha pack that bugs me is that weird twin dynamic they have where they both turn into one big werewolf, which I guess is creative, but also objectively bad and weird, although I’ll give them props for making one of them gay so Danny can have a love interest, which even supernatural couldn’t do until the last season. 

Above all, the biggest, definitely not most important, but most mind-rotting thing  watched in season 3, was this exchange:

Lydia is admiring all the freshmen or “fresh men” as she says it. Allison points out that they are “fresh boys” and are age 14. Lydia dismisses this saying some are more mature than others. Allison points out that they can be single and take the time to focus on themselves. Lydia says she doesn’t want a boyfriend she wants a distraction.

Let me remind you that the main cast are juniors in high school at this point in the show, and if you still see nothing incredibly weird about this exchange, let me also remind you that those “fresh men” are coming from middle school. They were just in 8th grade, and Lydia, who is at least 16 or 17 at this point, thinks they are worthy of a distraction. I’m not sure about anyone else, but when I was junior, you couldn’t PAY me to admire, nonetheless date a freshman. This entire exchange is the exact reason why I really can’t stand this show most of the time. It expects you to put aside all belief that this isn’t a normal high school, while also throwing weird perverted shit into their dialogue. And these are only the major things I remember. 

Anyways, I might keep doing this, I might not, but I do know it’ll be a cold day in hell when I attempt to keep watching Teen Wolf. Sorry Stiles and Isaac, but I need to maintain my sanity. 

[impalementation]

what played differently positively and negatively on your buffy rewatch?

putting under a cut because this got long! disclaimer: this is all just my personal opinions and reactions, nothing objective or definitive. also when i talk about how i reacted “as a teenager” i mean from ages 13-16 rather than more mature teenage years. i did revisit the show briefly around 18, but don’t remember what i thought. so i’m comparing how i watched it at ~15 to how i watched it at 27, basically.

negative:

- a lot of trouble connecting to the more high school elements of the show. i just grew out of caring about teenagers, unfortunately. so i got impatient with a lot of seasons one and three, and some parts of two. which was really a shame, since i used to pretty unreservedly adore those seasons.

- in that vein, a lot of trouble connecting to buffy/angel. partly because adult men are no longer as opaque to me as they are to buffy, and so although i respect what the writing was going for by objectifying angel, it was still frustrating to feel like i wasn’t given much to go on as far as understanding his character motivation or why he and buffy were drawn to each other. boreanaz’s acting also got in the way of my enjoyment, unfortunately. i have nothing against the pairing, as a pairing, and i like a lot of the writing around it, but it lost the ability to give me any of the feelings it gave me as a teenager. i was sad about this!

- having seen a lot more movies and tv shows by now, buffy’s often ungainly execution was difficult to ignore. there are a lot of jokes that just strike me as clunky and unfunny, pacing i thought was slow, character writing i thought was dumb, etc.

- all the parts that haven’t aged well from a political perspective (some of which people complained about at the time too, of course). the weird attention given to xander’s self-deprecating possessiveness, terrible jokes like the one about the first slayer’s hair in restless, baffling moments of sexism, an often facile approach to gender politics, etc.

positive:

- i wasn’t a dumb teenager, but i wasn’t sophisticated either. i didn’t have the analytical toolkit that i have now. so the biggest positive change was being hit over the head with the realization of how intricately and elegantly thematic the show could really be. the feeling of “oh shit, they were doing things.” when i got to the end of season six and saw buffy crawling out of that grave a second time i was just on the floor like “fuck you buffy the vampire slayer and the symbolism you rode in on.” overall i gained a lot of respect for it as tv with literary tendencies. as messy as the show could be, and as superficially “pop” as it was (as in, it wasn’t a prestige-y hbo show), it’s one of the few tv shows i’ve seen that is clearly and consistently “about” something, both from season to season and over the course of the whole show. one of the few good comparisons i have is the wire, which is consistently about institutional decay and how systems fail people, and then explores that idea from season to season by looking at different failing systems (crime, labor, reform, education, media, etc). similarly, buffy is (among other things) about the trials of growing up, and growing into a person that has agency and ownership of themselves. and each season explores that subject in new ways by putting buffy into new situations that challenge her to be mature in a way she hasn’t been before. the wire achieves literary coherence in a much more controlled, focused, and overall skillful way. but people know that the wire is Serious Art. buffy fascinates me in that it has similar aspirations while also being goofy, stupid, messy, unabashed genre entertainment. unabashed television, at that.

- in general, i also felt like i had a deeper understanding of a lot of the storylines. i’d always liked seasons six and seven, even when i felt like i wasn’t “supposed” to (and hey that was another nice thing about watching it as an adult. i no longer had a need to care about whether i was supposed to like something or not, because i felt confident in my own ability to assess that.), but i didn’t quite get them on that emotional level. this time though, i felt like i completely understood the experience that the writers were trying to convey. buffy’s struggle with mortality in season five, depression in season six, and isolation in season seven, all hit me unbelievably hard. even the college experience stuff in season four had new, added layers.

- in a weirdly equivalent-but-also-opposite situation to buffy/angel, my life experience colored how i received the whole buffy/spike storyline. on the one hand, i was newly able to properly appreciate that their season six story was a story about a toxic and self-destructive relationship. as a teenager i found it hot and engaging, but also sort of baffling; i couldn’t tell what the writers were going for. because i was so used to a sex = romance paradigm in tv, instead of the sex-as-character-writing that you see in more sophisticated media. similarly, i was finally able to understand the more disturbing sides of spike’s character, instead of just finding him funny and entertaining. yet instead of that understanding making the dynamic, or spike as a character, less interesting to me, it actually finally gave me an emotional “in” with it. it made things compellingly complicated instead of just confusing. i couldn’t be moved by it before, because i didn’t understand the emotional conflicts at play. whereas watching it with life experience that echoed it, a lot of it felt like being suckerpunched, in a good way.

- for whatever reason, i also found myself really enjoying the willow/tara dynamic. i was pretty dismissive of it as a teenager. i thought tara was dull, and resented the feeling from friends that i was supposed to like it just because it was gay. but i found them (and tara) very sweet this time around, in a pleasantly subtle way, and with more understanding of my own queerness, i appreciated things like how implicit their courtship in season four had to be, or their easy domesticity. and it meant that when their relationship fell apart in season six it genuinely made me sad instead of just “well alright.” and i really like it when stories affect me, whether or not the way it’s affecting me is a happy emotion.

- my love for buffy as a character like...quintupled. i’d always loved her but, as i’ve said, my enjoyment of the show was on the superficial side. i think i used to basically take her at face value, and accept everything she goes through as “well, that’s just what happens to protagonists of tv shows.” also, since i’d never related to the sorts of coming of age narratives typical of high school shows (popularity! boyfriends! virginity! cheerleaders! prom!), and i hadn’t experienced any of the things the show explores past season three, it was difficult to feel like buffy as a character was speaking to my own struggles in growing up. but now that i wasn’t expecting to relate to her, it was easier to see her face everything and go “man, you brave, amazing girl.” i felt like i could finally really appreciate her as a character, which made all the times that i did end up relating to her feel richer too.

- all the parts that have aged well. there have been great female protagonists since buffy (and great female protagonists before her), but few great female heroes. and buffy is kind of incredible for being both. i’ve said this before, but one of the great things about her as a character is that on the one hand, she’s able to participate in a hero narrative that is normally only the province of male characters, and be a source of admiration or inspiration that isn’t about gender. but on the other hand, she’s also allowed to be human...sometimes to people’s dismay, especially in the later seasons. and that duality, particularly in a female character, is deeply, deeply rare. buffy summers is just an utterly remarkable character, and consuming more media only made that more obvious to me. aside from buffy, i think many of the show’s more experimental choices have aged quite well, whether the format breaking episodes in season four, or the postmodernism of season six, or buffy’s mourning and depression in seasons five and six. i also really appreciated the show’s themes around forgiveness, atonement, responsibility, and agency, and found myself wishing that more contemporary things had them.

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: Alexander Octopus Cortez

Since Kermit and Friends Sunday Church Services began, Elisa has shared her story a few times about how she was chastised by the Christian church she was attending before bringing back KAF.

KAF Church had a new attendee this week, a lovely Christian woman by the name of Marie. When Marie heard how Elisa had been treated by her church, she was disgusted, as am I every time I hear it. 

Here’s where I might sound a little judgmental and conspiratorial, but it doesn’t surprise me that Los Angeles churches are the type to turn people off from God like that. I’m from the south, Marie is from the mid-west... and the churches we’re familiar with would NEVER treat Elisa with such condescension. 

But finally, yes, FINALLY Los Angeles has a church that can be trusted. It’s name?

THE KERMITARIAN CHURCH!

That’s right baby, we have an official name for our church now, and man... is it ever so beautiful and perfect.

Oddly enough, Elisa still remains to get judged in her very own church! This time by Muslims, not Christians. What happened? Well let’s review the show...

Church kicked off with an awesome introduction video Elisa made. I really loved it and I look forward to seeing more stuff like that in the future. Very fun!

Elisa then talked about chance encounters and how God places each person in our lives for a reason. I agree to an extent but I also don’t think it’s too wise to hop in the car with strangers just because you’re invited somewhere. So please be careful with that in the future, Elisa! God blessed us with free will and there are evil humans out there who take advantage of that amazing gift. We shouldn’t judge people but we also can’t trust everyone we come across.

As mentioned above, Kermit got a new friend this week in the wonderful Marie. She was a little shy on the show but I can tell she will become more comfortable over time. Hopefully she returns next week!

We got our weekly call from Barry Boss next where he asked if the audience would enjoy seeing a sex tape between he and Elisa, and he also claims he’s working to get Elisa a TV talk show in Miami. I would have to vote no on the sex tape, but here’s hoping he gets that TV deal for her!

After the call, Elisa opens up about how she became smitten with the animated octopus from last week’s show, Alexander Octopus Cortez. Elisa has this quirk of falling hard for voices she’s attracted to combined with personalities she deems humorous. It’s very cute but it has never led to anything good romantically... unfortunately, AOC did not turn out to be an exception.

Elisa wrote this unbelievably creative song for AOC. I’m not exaggerating or kissing butt when I say the lyrics were truly brilliant and hilarious. I was amazed by the song, but AOC? Not so much. 

Turns out AOC is not just an animated octopus, but a gay animated octopus well into his 60′s or 70′s. He has zero interest in Elisa, leaving her heartbroken yet again. Hopefully though AOC continues to visit the show, as he will be a good personality for Elisa to have fun with.

Moving on... DJ Smooth made his immaculate return to Kermit and Friends this week with a handsome new haircut. He was less troll-ish and actually participated in the show in a very entertaining way. He has potential to be a great addition to the church and I hope he attends every Sunday!

Laurie the Muslim also returned to the show this week for the first time in a while. She brought a couple of Muslim friends with her (Mohammad and Boahan) and there was a nice conversation about what inspired them to be Muslim and how it’s benefited their lives.

We also got to meet a new friend of Kermit by the name of Pete. Elisa met Pete on Facebook where he was ranting about masks being used as a political agenda. Pete seemed very sensible and may become a voice of reason on the show if he continues to attend Kermitarian Church every Sunday, as he made rational points any time Elisa went to him for his opinion. Same goes for Darron the Pharmacist, who also had a nice little appearance on this week’s broadcast.

Elisa also received a couple of pleasant phone calls this week from her old KAF love interest Gonzo and also from KAF legend, Kleenex. Hopefully in the future those two will click the Streamyard link to attend church rather than call in so they can speak with other members instead of just Elisa. Remember, Streamyard works just as well on a smart phone as it does on a computer. It was great hearing from them though!

Next up is Corey and all hell breaks loose.

Corey admittedly has done a lot of naughty things in the past. He’s received nothing but coal from Santa Claus for years now. However, at Kermitarian Church, the slate gets wiped clean and EVERYONE is welcomed to attend and hopefully to repent. Including, yes, ThyCorester. And for two weeks straight, Corey has done nothing wrong. 

The fact of the matter is, once Corey cammed up, it was Laurie who rehashed the drama. It was DJ Smooth who went on the attack. It was Johnny B who criticized. All it takes is a smile from Corey for people to lose their minds. Why? Why allow this man have so much power over your emotions, especially when he’s not doing anything? Forgive him and move on. If you say nothing negative towards the guy, there’s a chance he won’t start in with his nonsense. It takes two people to be cordial, and so far Corey is the only one willing to try to be cordial. 

So yeah, most of the rest of the show was bickering between Corey, Laurie, Smooth, and Johnny B. Was it entertaining? Absolutely, but did Corey start it? No!

Because Elisa allowed Corey and Laurie to trade insults and accusations toward one another, Laurie’s friend Boahan became very critical of Elisa for the way she was running the show. She blamed Elisa for Corey and the chat’s words, she said Elisa was milking for drama instead of trying to have a loving church, and she basically stormed off afterward, not giving Elisa a chance to respond to her. Laurie then pretended to be offended by Elisa calling her ‘Laurie the Muslim’ just because her friend was offended by it. Of course Laurie takes the side of her new Muslim friend over the woman who has loved and supported her for nearly 5 years straight. Makes complete sense, right?

From the very beginning, Elisa has said Kermit and Friends will welcome ANYONE. She wants ALL walks of life to come together on this show and be friends. Is that possible? Logic says no, but Elisa is a dreamer and optimist, you can’t tell her anything is impossible. That said, I’m sure she understands having such different personalities will raise conflict. The good thing about conflict is that while it does lead to entertainment, it also leads to resolutions. However, the people arguing have to be open to resolutions. If they’re not... that’s not Elisa’s fault. 

Forgiveness is the key. Forgive Corey. That doesn’t mean you must forget, but forgiveness and being cordial is the best way to deal with him. It will also help with your mental stability since your mind will no longer burst into flames whenever you see his face. Seriously, to the Corey haters... just let it go already.

Anyway, besides that, the show also featured the return of Jason Deeh Pitre, and Johnny B. Jason looked awesome as always and gave us a nice little tune, while Johnny B did a beautiful karaoke performance of the song Peace in the Valley. DJ Smooth also got creative this week with a funny little poem about Corey, and William Quigley cammed up while in the shower and did a hilarious dance number for the audience during an argument between Smooth and Corey.

As you can tell, it was a crazy episode, even crazier than last week. I loved it. KAF continues to be my favorite podcast with my favorite characters and my favorite host... I can’t wait for next week! :)

[nanna-melissa]

Nanna’s Record Collection #2: Queen

Now..me..a Queen fan? Unbelievable. So I started to get into Queen a few years ago but I was a pretty casual fan. When I was digging into their musical catalog a bit more, I was also getting into Placebo and they sort of took over. I didn’t listen to Queen proper until three months ago. I’ve listened to many of their bigger singles and had their Greatest Hits Vol. II on when I worked on projects. Now my order for this is not going to be chronological in which they were released but when I bought them. My top 5 are going to be first so enough explanation, let’s get onto..

This photo is so blue/purple compared to the others, gotta love my phone trying to white balance. So, I bought this and the next one I’m going to talk about at the same time. My first impression with this album was ‘okay, this is the one with BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY ON IT’ and that song isn’t my absolute favorite on this thing! I have to say listening to it in full for the first time was a ride. Death on Two Legs followed by Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon was like whiplash but then I’M IN LOVE WITH MY CAR...BITCH. I did not think Roger would go as hard as he did. I was taken aback...I was laughing...I was shocked....I had questions, comments and concerns. Like....TOLD MY GIRL I HAD TO FORGET HER, RATHER BUY ME A NEW CARBURETOR...then CARS DON’T TALK BACK, THEY’RE JUST FOUR-WHEELED FRIENDS NOW. Iconic. It’s got my pistons a-pumpin’. You’re my Best Friend was familiar territory. It’s John being fuckin’ wholesome but then came ‘39. It was love at first listen. I listened to that song on loop for like two weeks. Sweet Lady didn’t grab me as hard but with a line like ‘you call me sweet like I’m some kind of cheese’...I was missing out. I also skipped Seaside Rendezvous and listened to it on vinyl for the first time and wanted to kick my own ass for not letting myself listen to it sooner. I love that song. Prophet’s Song, I think..is kinda weak? But it’s ending transitioning into Love of my Life? OOH BB. GOOD SHIT. Then there’s Good Company and I love Brian’s voice in it and the Ukulele slaps. Then what can I say about Bo Rhap that people haven’t like come on. 

Favorites: Death on Two Legs, Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon, I’m in Love with my Car, You’re my Best Friend, ‘39, Sea Side Rendezvous, Love of my Life, Good Company, and Bohemian Rhapsody...(so nearly the whole album)

This boy? Right here? This is my favorite Queen album. Considering Radio Ga GA and I Want to Break Free were the first two songs I fell in love with...it was kind of meant to be, huh? But for real, this album has no dud. Radio Ga Ga? Banger and if you don’t clap along with it, I’m judging you. Tear it Up? It is such an 80′s Queen Brian song. That guitar is so...ooh 👌 It’s a Hard Life? THOSE OPENING LINES AND HOW FREDDIE SINGS THEM OWN MY ENTIRE ASS. With the video, Fred’s goddamn red and black winged liner look..........holy shit. Also Roger looks like a child on the verge of a temper tantrum and I live for it. Man on the Prowl is just fun. Now...Machines (Back to Human), people sleep on this one. The vocals, the synths, the guitar..perfection. I Want to Break Free, come on. The video. Rogerina. John writing yet another absolute banger like the icon he is. Perfection. Then it’s followed by another song people sleep on. Keep Passing the Open Windows just does something for me. The bass on that track cures my depression and it mixed with the drums? I’m done for. Hammer to Fall after? Again, another absolute banger. Is This the World we Created is such a fantastic closer. 

Favorites: Every. Single. Song.

I know Hot Space is a very hit or miss album for many people. For me, this is pretty much tied for second favorite album alongside a Night at the Opera. Hearing about this one, I heard this was Queen’s worst album. To that I say a couple things. One, the people saying that are straight. Two, they don’t like fun music. While gay club, disco/funk influenced, heavily due to Freddie and also John, this album is so much fun. Staying Power is such a strong opener. The sax, Freddie’s vocals and the more funky guitars make me just want to boogie. I love the little ‘yeah!’ Fred does after ‘See what I got, I got a hell of a lot’ in the beginning. Dancer is a bit out there for Brian and I appreciate. Now when I say Back Chat owns my ass, it truly owns my ass. It is the landlord of my ass. A diss track towards Brian written by John and then JOHN BOPPING AROUND IN THE VIDEO AND SMILING WHILE BRIAN LOOKS MISERABLE...that’s a level of petty I aspire to be. Now, Body Language fucks. That bass fucks. It’s a simple song, not too complicated but it works so well. Action This Day is alright. I enjoy the chorus but it’s a slight bore to me...and yet Body Language is not I might ruffle some feathers saying that. Put Out the Fire is very 80′s Brian. Can see some stepping stones from this to the Works. 

Life is Real grew on me. I’m a John Lennon fan (I know, prepare the pitchforks and the ‘he beat his wife’ comments) and it’s very John. It’s a wonderful creative tribute to the man. Calling All Girls grew on me. It’s video is questionable at best. Even Brian and Roger watching it back were like ‘what in the fuck is this’ and Roger forgot it was his song. Legend. Las Palabras De Amor is beautiful. Them harmonizing in the chorus does something for me. Now...Cool Cat. Cool Cat is easily in my top 3 all-time favorite Queen songs. Whenever I listen to this song, I swear I can feel the dopamine receptors connecting in my brain. Fred’s falsetto fucks me up. Also take a moment of appreciation for John Richard Deacon born on August the 19th, 1951. He wrote it and did the entire instrumental. The talent? Immense. Now the closer is of course Under Pressure. I wish they kept Brian’s bit in it but hey, what can you do. I can’t really say anything about the song besides it slaps and the highest note was not done by Freddie but Roger. 

Favorites: Staying Power, Back Chat, Body Language, Put out the Fire, Cool Cat, Under Pressure. 

This is an interesting one. She used to be a woman with a hotdog stand HOOP DIDDY DIDDY HOOP DIDDY DOO. Now, this one caught my attention due to the first two tracks. Innuendo mixes genres so beautifully. That spanish guitar section is stunning and the bridge gets me every time. I’m Going Slightly Mad after that? It’s a bit odd. The introduction on the track is an odd one and it used to slightly creep it out the first time I heard it. But the more I listen, the more I really appreciate how fun it is. The video is one of my absolute favorites. Freddie’s look. Brian WEARING CLOGS IN THE 90′s LIKE AN ABSOLUTE UNIT, and John just standing there with a yo-yo makes me happy. Headlong kind of makes me laugh now after watching the making of this album’s documentary. Roger talks about how it’s a serious album but then it cuts to the SHE USED TO BE A WOMAN WITH A HOTDOG STAND line. The next three songs I didn’t give a chance until about a month ago. Ride the Wild Wind is one I was not expecting to enjoy as much as I do but there’s something about it. Along with Don’t Try So Hard. Now...These Are the Days of Our Lives? Excuse me while I cry. The last song I want to talk about is Delilah. A song Freddie wrote for his favorite cat. The lines ‘you make me so very happy, when you cuddle up and go to sleep beside me...but then you make me slightly mad, when you pee all over my chippendale suite’. BUT THEN THE MEOWS AND BRIAN MAKING HIS GUITAR SOUND LIKE A CAT MY HEART MELTS. 

Favorites: Innuendo, I’m Going Slightly Mad, Headlong, I Can’t Live With You, Don’t Try So Hard, Ride the Wild Wind, Delilah, the Show Must Go On.

Holy shit number five. My fingers are in slight pain and I have four more to go after this. Now time for a confession, I guess? I used to hate Killer Queen. For some reason, I couldn’t stand it. Key words there are used to. That song is a bop and I was a dumb bitch I guess. Tenement Funster is honestly such a Roger track. The opening line makes me think it’s a nod to those glittery converse he used to wear. Those were a strong look. Flick of the Wrist is the grand pappy of Death on Two Legs. Or is the father? I don’t know. But it’s still a diss track for a manager who did them dirty. Anyway, this track does something for me. In the Lap of the Gods....Roger’s goddamn FALSETTO HOW DARE HE. Then when they did this song live and he did that shit...bitch. My jaw DROPPED. Stone Cold Crazy with that almost early punk sound? Hell yee. Now, Misfire. Learning the meaning behind it.....John....honey...oof. I mean it’s a bop about ending too early during sex, that you cannot deny. Leroy Brown was one that grew on me. I actually didn’t care too much for it for a while. It’s fun. Now, She Makes Me (Stormtrooper in Stilettos)...WHY ARE PEOPLE SLEEPING ON THIS TRACK???! Brian’s vocals are so fuckin’ beautiful, paired with that simple instrumental...it’s such a stunning track. Lap of the Gods (revisited) I slept on. I deserve to have my ass kicked for that. 

Favorites: Flick of the Wrist, Lap of the Gods, Misfire, She Makes Me (Stormtrooper in Stilettos) and Last of the Gods...revisited.

This one is still growing on me. Father to Son when I first heard it flicked something in my brain and it’s one of those that I cannot skip when it’s on. White Queen didn’t really impress me at first and it required a re-listen. Then I actually properly listened to it and it got me hooked. Now, Loser in the End. That song FUCKS and it’s my favorite off this record. It sounds vastly different from many of the others and it felt like a breath of fresh air. Ogre Battle is a fuckin’ beast of a track. Along with it, most of the Black side just kind of reminds me of playing D&D with the boys. Am I alone in this? Probably. This one I’m still getting into for the most part. 

Favorites: Father to Son, White Queen (as it Began), Loser in the End, Ogre Battle, Funny How Love Is,  Seven Seas of Rhye.

This scamp was hard to get a good picture of. That cover is hella reflective. This is one I wasn’t expecting to add into my collection. It’s not my absolute top favorite, I do still rather enjoy it. Play the Game is pretty mellow but then goddamn DRAGON ATTACK. EXCUSE ME. The bass on that track? That guitar riff? I’m done. I am deceased. BUT THEN THAT’S FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST, BIIIIIIITCH. If you couldn’t tell, I love a good bass line. This one is so fuckin’ tasty. It’s simple but so goddamn effective. Need Your Loving Tonight seems like almost like a transitional song. It gives me a bit of a Hot Space Vibe. Crazy Little Thing Called Love is a song me and my mom bond over all the time. It’s her favorite Queen song and we often sing along to it in the car. Now. Rock it? Rock it (Prime Jive)? It slaps and it slaps hard. However, listening to it one night, the track faintly reminded me of Sword of Damocles from Rocky Horror Picture Show. The Vocals very much did and the instrumental as well but not as much.  Now with Don’t Try Suicide....it’s one song I’m really not a fan of. Having to do with childhood trauma dealing with suicide? Maybe so. The last three I still need to give a proper chance? I’m weird with albums. I sleep on songs then finally listen to them get regret for not listening to them sooner. 

Favorites: Dragon Attack, Another one Bites the Dust, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Rock it (Prime Jive), and Save Me.

Damn alright, I’m starting to get tired of typing but this is the second to the last boyoo. My phalanges are literally going to fall off when I talk about the Beatles. OKAY NOW, another album I slept on for a while. I’m a dumb bitch, we established this. I listened to this album before in full but it didn’t do much for me. I gave it another go and found I actually enjoyed quite a bit of it. Tie your Mother Down brought me back to the days of listening to their Greatest Hits II album on their YouTube Channel. The Intro music was the guitar rift for this song. You Take my Breath Away is an interesting one. Very reminiscent of Love of my Life...almost a sort of lonely love song of sorts. You and I is sort of the complete opposite and it does sort of illustrate how lonely Freddie was. Somebody to Love and it’s harmonies water my crops, clear my depression, and give me a hug. Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy is one of those tunes you just have bop to. Drowse is absolutely STUNNING. Not what I expect from a Roger song. I mean the last one of his on an album was what? I’m in Love with my Car? We love a versatile icon. Teo Torriatte and just the meaning behind it is so incredibly sweet. It’s so absolutely wholesome and reading how Brian and the boys worked with their translator to get it just right for their Japanese audience. My heart is full. 

Favorites: You Take my Breath Away, You and I, Drowse, Teo Torriatte. 

HOLY SHIT LAST ONE. When I sat down and started listening to their entire discography, this one really set the stage of what was to come. Keep Yourself Alive is such a strong opener in my opinion. Also DO YOU THINK YOU GET BETTER EVERYDAY?? NO I JUST THINK I’M TWO STEPS NEARER TO MY GRAVE...a bop. Doing Alright isn’t my favorite but is it fun to sing ‘doing alriiiiiiiight’?. Hell yee. Great Rat King fuckin’ SLAPS. Now...I am a simple woman and when I hear Liar..I get more turnt than a white dad at a barbeque in cargo shorts and crocs listening to Bruce Springsteen. It’s almost impossible for me to not sing along. To scream LIAR and of course MAMA I’M GONNA BE YOUR SLAVE ALL DAY LONG....ooh BABY. Solid track. Also that version of them playing it at the Rainbow is absolute perfection. Modern Times Rock n Roll comes out of almost no-where and damn...Rog really out here. It’s also far too short for my liking. Son & Daugher I have to say gives me almost Cream vibes? I dig it. The vocals goddamn kill me..straight up manslaughter, truly. 

Favorites: Keep Yourself Alive, Great Rat King, Liar, Modern Times Rock n Roll and Son & Daughter. 

This took me nearly two hours to write, holy hell. But hey, those are my 9 records that I wrote essays about. 

[fluffandlove]

Pure Irony

Author’s note: First Klance fic for this blog! Very late, very random, but have two boys giggling like a bunch of highschoolers in an alley anyway  Thanks for 800 followers! 

Summary: Keith was going to hell for this, wasn’t he?

But if going to hell meant Lance practically pushing him against a cold wall with their faces barely three inches apart and his adorable, hushed laughter blessing his ears, then Keith was more than ready for it.

Word count: 1,650 

Irony was a funny thing.

“Shit!”

Before he could even utter a sound of protest, he was yanked into the nearest alley by Lance’s warm, yet rough hand. Honestly, Keith kind of wanted to make fun of him for this, but Lance slapped a hand over his mouth and not so subtly sneaked a peek around the corner.

Seriously, this guy would be the worst spy ever. It was a good thing Allura – that girl he’d been crushing on for three years – was a couple of feet away from them and talking to someone, totally oblivious still. Keith hadn’t had time to register who the other person was exactly, but it’d looked like a girl from one of their classes.  

Didn’t have to mean anything. It did to Lance, though.

“What do we do,” Lance hissed and, ah, pressed himself closer to Keith, lowering his hand when he continued, “She can’t see me. What if she thinks I’m stalking her?”

What. How did Lance’s mind even work.

“Right,” Keith deadpanned and resisted the urge to flick his ear. “You both live in the same dorm. We hang out almost every day. Why would she think that you’re stalking her?”

That didn’t seem to any effect on Lance as he curled around Keith again, craning his neck so he could take another look. “Okay, okay, shh. They’re talking. Still talking, laughing, yes I’m sure that that girl’s hilarious. Ugh, just-just turn around. Turn around and walk along, so we can, I dunno, make a one-eighty and get out of here.”

A sigh. “And where exactly do you plan on going? It’s getting late.”

“I’ll sleep on a bench in the park, it’s fine.”

Lance still wasn’t looking at him, his dark eyes totally focused on the other two and Keith couldn’t believe he was actually in this situation. Pressed against a brick wall by that one guy he’d been crushing on for about three years as well, which was fine, totally fine. Said guy’s cologne wasn’t exactly helping, though. Along with the fact that Lance’s face was so close to his own, like, he could feel the warmth of the other’s skin and ugh, Keith really hated his life right now.

Their cheeks were practically touching— anyway. It wasn’t like he could exactly blame Lance for this. He and Allura had been dancing around each other for those damn three years while Keith was on the other side of the room, casually pretending he didn’t mind Lance’s insane pining. And that his poor gay heart wasn’t suffering because of it.

It was usually easy to pretend that it wasn’t affecting him, at all. This particular situation, however, was a whole new level.  

“If she sees me, I might as well die of embarrass-ment!”

That last part turned into a squeak. Keith guessed that one of them had looked in their general direction because Lance, of all things, had buried his face in Keith’s neck.

Peachy.

Keith turned his head a little and tried to focus on their voices as a way to distract himself. They seemed neither nearer nor farther in his opinion. Probably hadn’t even noticed their presence. In fact, they were laughing again, so Lance was truly being paranoid about this.

“They’ll probably talk for another two hours,” Keith whispered and, interestingly, felt Lance shiver. “You’re not gonna die if she sees you, Lance. Let’s just go. ”

But Lance was flailing and squeezing his shoulders, shaking like crazy. Keith was so confused.

“… What?” he mumbled.

“Stoptalkingittickles.”

Right. Yeah, the back of Lance’s neck was really close to his lips, so that made sense.

Surely Keith was not an asshole. He wasn’t gonna take advantage of this. No, not at all—

Never mind. Yes, he was.

“Sorry, what was that?” Keith oh so innocently spoke, making his words even breathier than necessary and almost chuckled when Lance psychically cringed, digging his fingers into Keith’s shirt.

“Fuck you, oh my god,” Lance huffed and raised his head, probably as some sort of way to defend his sensitive neck, but there were more than enough openings.

Gloved hands snuck down to Lance’s waist, slipped under his jacket and threateningly stayed there, enjoying the full body shiver he managed to cause with that simple touch. Lance was glaring daggers at him, obviously trying to look intimidating, but it was pretty cute in Keith’s eyes.

Lance was literally pouting. “Keith, my dude, my man, think about what you’re doing.”

“I already am,” was the smug reply, accompanied by a small squeeze that made Lance jerk forward with a panicked gasp. “’s pretty fun if you ask me.”

Squeeze, squeeze.

“They’ll hear us!” Lance panted, his lips curled into a forced smile, hands still holding onto Keith’s arms for dear life.

“Better make sure they don’t, then.”

It was so mean. Maybe a little too mean. Still, creating a memory of Lance laughing breathlessly into the crook of his neck was gonna be worth it. Their position had been an absolute nightmare before and now he was able to enjoy every second of it.

Now he didn’t mind their proximity, or the lovely smell of Lance’s cologne, or the way his warm hands were gripping his upper arms. He could get used to Lance’s short huffs of giggles brushing over his collarbone, his body twitching along with his fingers, feeling the warmth of his skin because, well, he’d casually flicked up his shirt and went under it.

Yeah, there it was. A muffled shriek. He could feel Lance’s lips stretching into a wide grin.

At this point, Keith was shaking with silent laughter, too. His fingers roamed over Lance’s back, muscles twitching every time he brushed over another ticklish spot and leaving a trail of goosebumps behind.

“I hate y-you,” Lance groaned and jumped when Keith’s fingers hovered near his ribs. “I will get you back for this.”  

Instead of answering, Keith scribbled a bunch of random patterns over the other’s ribcage that made Lance go rigid before he hid his face in Keith’s chest, more soft laughter escaping. Allura and the other girl were still talking and didn’t appear to have noticed Keith being a huge dick, so he decided he could step up his game a little.

By leaning forward until his lips were close to Lance’s ear again and murmuring, “Sure you will.”

Poor Lance scrunched up his shoulders and waved his hands around like a ninja, which was so very amusing that Keith had to look away for a second to compose himself. His hands were still very much under Lance’s shirt, just chilling. Holding his waist like guy friends do.

Keith was going to hell for this, wasn’t he.

But if going to hell meant Lance practically pushing him against a cold wall with their faces barely three inches apart and his adorable, hushed laughter blessing his ears, then Keith was more than ready for it.

Yeah, it was bad. But also kind of fun. Lance was holding him so tightly, bubbly and giddy laughter continuously pouring out of him and Keith both loved and hated himself for being the one responsible for it.

“I’m dying,” Lance whined through his endless stream of giggles and laid his hands over Keith’s chest. Not holding him, but not pushing him away, either. All the while Keith ran his hands over his sides and ribs, barely grazing him, but it had the desired effect nonetheless. “The police will come for your sneaky ass.”

“I’ll go to jail for tickling you?”

Snicker. “Yes.”

Stupid, unbelievable Lance was mirroring his smirk. “Idiot.”

Apparently their voices had been loud enough to draw attention, because they heard footsteps. It was somehow possible for Lance to bring their bodies even closer and Keith instinctively tightened his grip on his hips.

“Thought I heard voices. Oh, hey, it’s Lance! And— Keith?”

Keith should’ve seen this coming. “Hi.”

“… It’s not what it looks like?” Lance added lamely, still curled up in Keith’s arms, face flushed beyond saving.

A few seconds passed in which Allura’s eyes darted back and forth between them before her pretty face broke into a knowing smile. “I’m sure it isn’t. Sorry for interrupting.”

The other girl politely stayed on the other side of the wall, so Keith couldn’t see her and he was thankful for that. Lance simply flashed her one of his dashing grins, clearly aware of the fact that he wasn’t gonna sweet-talk himself out of this one and Keith was starting to feel the guilt eating at him.

It had all been fun and games until now. Maybe he’d overstepped some boundaries. Damn.  

He nodded when Allura told them goodnight and left him and (his feelings for) Lance alone.

“We were spotted,” Keith awkwardly broke the silence after they were out of earshot.

Lance still hadn’t moved. “Yeah and it was totally your fault.”

“Pretty sure it was yours.”

It drew another small huff of laughter out of Lance who finally decided to stand up straight and, oh, Keith probably had to pull his hands back. They felt oddly cold and he could only watch as Lance fixed his shirt and jacket.

“Guess you were right.”

Blink, blink. “I was right?” Keith gaped at him.

“Yeah,” Lance flashed him a grin. “She saw me and I didn’t die. I’m a total survivor.”

Right. That.

“Told you,” Keith managed to grin back and followed him out of the alley until he fell into step beside him. They also fell into a silence but Lance did move closer to him, their shoulders and hands shyly touching. “You’re not… mad?”

“’course not.” Lance looked back at him, a soft smile on his face. “I’ll admit I was being a bit dramatic. You can make it up to me by coming over for a movie night.”

Irony. ‘Twas truly a funny thing. 

[axelsagewrites]

Raphael Santiago*Attractive

Ship(s): Raphael X Shadowhunter!Reader

Request: nope

Warnings: Insecurities, self doubt

Masterlist HERE

Wattpad HERE

(Y/D/N) = your dog's name

(Y/F/D) = your favourite drink

Being a shadowhunter had serious perks and downfalls. I have above human abilities, cool, I put my life on the line daily, not so cool, shadowhunters are naturally prettier, awesome, but I'm not one of the shadowhunters, not so awesome.

I'd grown up not thinking about appearances. My family was too busy teaching me to be a shadowhunters and good person than to brush my hair and what colours matched my eyes. I was always clean and when the formal occasion arose, I was able to clean up and look smart. But what I noticed as I grew up was, I wasn't pretty.

My parents had been transferred to the New York Institute when I was young, and my family followed them. They were then requested in Idris when I was 15 and I decided to stay in New York. My family was hesitant but Maryse and Robert said they'd look after me. My parents didn't trust this since they were always away at clave meetings and barely spent time with their own kids since they learned how to use a microwave. What convinced them was Alec telling them 'we'll look after (Y/N). We're a team'.

The team he referred to was Alec, Jace, Isabelle, and me. With Alec being a couple of years older plus the other two of my parents relented. I was beyond happy to stay with my friends and not break up the dream team.

But I was 15, so was Isabelle, Jace was 16 and Alec had just turned 17. We were teenagers who were all beginning to notice other people's beauty. Or as Jace called in as a dorky 16-year-old 'rocking bods. Everyone else developed, grew, shrunk, changed, cleaned up, and started buying their own clothes.

I tried to look good. I went shopping with Isabelle, Alec told us all how to shave since his parents weren't around to teach the girls or boys, and Jace helped me work out. Eventually, I stopped caring. All the guys flocked to Isabelle, and all the girls ran and stumbled over each other to Jace and Alec despite having no chance with the later. It's not even that I didn't pick up crushes, it's just no one had any.

Isabelle said I didn't know what I was missing out on when I said I'd given up on love oh so dramatically at 17. I was glad I didn't know since then I wasn't missing it. I was 17 and had never been kissed and I told myself I was okay with that.

Later on, Clary came along, along with the whole valentine crisis, and thank my lucky stars she wasn't a girl to talk about crushes and soppy romances. Simon, of course, flocked to Isabelle like a bee to honey and Jace had a similar effect on Clary. Alec met Magnus and I adopted a dog. Seemed reasonable.

During the drama with Valentine, no one really cared about other people's love lives, begin to concern with the increased risk of death, but then suddenly Valentine was dead, and Sebastian was gone. Everything went back to normal. I was 19 and alone. It was lonely.

When we went out to clubs and bars, they all had someone beside them, and I was 7th wheeling. Hanging out with everyone made me feel like a creepy uncle who'd never settled down. Then the questions started.

"(Y/N) have you met the transfer from England? Quite the catch," Isabelle asked as we sat around Magnus' apartment. Alec had invited us over for drinks and Magnus pretended not to enjoy our company. Simon shot Isabelle a funny look and she rolled her eyes.

I almost copied her. "Yeah, I suppose. They seem like a good shadowhunter I guess," I avoided the question. My dog, who I had decided to bring with me so I could walk him after, tensed up.

"Yeah," Alec walked in from the kitchen, sitting on the armrest of my chair. "Not bad looking either,"

Magnus hummed, "Seconded,"

"I guess,"

"Maybe you should ask him out," Jace said.

I sighed, "Maybe you should mind your business," the room fell quiet, "Not only did Jaden say they had a girlfriend back home," Isabelle slumped back in their chair, "but maybe I don't want to date some random transfer,"

"(Y/N) ..." Magnus started but hesitated for a minute. He and Alec shared a look before he continued, "I hate to ask but what's your sexuality? Gay, straight, freewheeling bisexual, ace?" he listed a few and I felt my face grow hot, "Just so we know how to help you get...experience. If you want any that is,"

"Unbelievable," I muttered "Really? is it so unbelievable to you that I don't want your help? Maybe I want to find someone on my own and not force it?" At this point (Y/D/N) jumped out my lap and I followed shortly, putting their leash on them.

"Where are you going?" Isabelle asked but she didn't stand to stop me.

I looked over the room where 3 happy couples sat, "Somewhere where I don't need a partner to be accepted," And with that, I stormed out.

I kept my storming pace up until I reached the bottom of the stairs. No one was following me. I sighed and looked at (Y/D/N) who, if they were a person I reckon would've been shrugging. I felt alone.

My footsteps were slow and happened without me thinking. I opened the door and started walking the streets, unsure of what to do. Was I happy being alone? Would I be happy with someone else? Id not even had my first kiss yet. Thoughts seemed to dance around my mind, inviting more to join in.

It was getting dark, so I quickly put on a night vision rune. I had a seraph blade on me, so I wasn't worried. I didn't care much either.

The streets were busier than I would have liked, and I kept bumping into people whenever I passed a club or bar. This time when someone bumped into me, I felt a cold shiver go down my arm. I turned to see who it was, but he was already staring back at me. "Raphael?" I said unsure if it was him or whether I was about to embarrass myself in front of a random vampire.

"Yeah. (Y/N) right?" he asked, moving to let people passed. I nodded, "On a mission?" he asked.

"Nope just out."

"With a dog? At 10 at night?"

I looked down at (Y/D/N) and sighed, "Yeah I guess,"

The grumbles of those trying to get passed us must've caught his attention, "Why don't we move to the side," he said, already guiding me out of the crowd.

We stood, a few paces away from the bar's door where people had swarmed, and my hand gripped the leash. "So...how've you been?" this was awkward. We'd met during the war but never really spoke. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't attractive, but my mind always went back to the fact I wasn't.

"Not bad. Valentines gone so..." the normally smooth and somewhat cocky vampire seemed subdued. "I'd offer to catch up over a drink, but you've got..." he pointed down my dog who sat by my feet just staring at him.

"(Y/D/N)" I told him, "Yeah maybe not the best time for a walk,"

Raphael hummed, "I'm not that into dogs. Too wolf-like,"

Was that a thing? Were vampires that against werewolves that it went to dogs too? "I suppose but (Y/D/N) isn't even a little wolfly,"

"Like their owner? I do remember you being catty when we first met,"

"Well, you had just kidnapped a mundane,"

"What can I say? Desperate times," he smirked, and the corners of my lips tugged up.

I'd opened my mouth before thinking, "We could always buy a drink and sit outside?" I waited for the rejection that had followed every time id hinted at something with other people.

This time his smirk seemed to twist into a smile, "I think there is a corner shop down there if you don't mind the walk,"

Before I knew it, I was sitting with Raphael in an empty park at midnight drinking out of a cheap bottle of (Y/F/D). around 1 I got a call which I ignored till another two followed, "You should probably answer that,"

"I know," I said through a smile I hadn't been able to drop since it started, "Hello?" I said into the phone. Isabelle proceeds to freak out on me how I wasn't back at the institute and I had ignored her texts and that I had to get back soon.

I hung up and Raphael gave me a small smile "Hometime?" he asked.

"Yup" I sighed, tossing my empty bottle into the bin.

Raphael stood up and extended a hand to me. I accepted his help, though I obviously didn't need it, and we began walking to the institute though he didn't drop my hand. I didn't mind either.

We still talked as we walked and when I saw the top towers of the institute come into sight, I felt disappointed. "We should do this again sometime," Raphael stopped. I noticed how it was just before institute grounds.

I wanted to smile but held off, "Really?"

Raphael let out a laugh and I felt myself dying inside. He quickly stopped his laughter, "Sorry it's just...I'd love to do this again. Really. you're quite...entrancing,"

"Really?" I asked, looking down at the ground. I knew I was blushing, another downside of being a shadowhunter.

"Yeah. Really," When I looked up, he was smiling. I'd never felt more contempt. We exchanged numbers and set up a time. "It's a date then," Raphael grinned. "Night (Y/N), (Y/D/N)," he crouched down to pet them. "Looks like dogs have grown on me," he said before leaving.

I stood there as he walked back down the path. He stopped at the pavement and turned back to wave. I lifted my hand as a mini-wave as (Y/D/N) barked. As I turned to walk back in, I thought about what he'd said. It's a date then. A date.

"Where have you been?!" Isabelle screeched when I walked in. I didn't care. A date.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #220

“as long as god in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”

Would people consider you more immature or mature? It depends on the context. Emotionally, I think I'm considerably mature. As far as eligibility to be a proper adult goes, yeah. No. Would people consider you more funny or serious? I personally don't think I'm very funny, but I'm not super serious, either. Are you currently in love with someone? Who is this person? So... I'm quietly pondering over whether or not I'm just biromantic, not bisexual. I genuinely think I'm in love with my girlfriend, I do, but we have so, so little actually sexual experience that I don't know if "bisexual" fits me. I totally adore her romantically, I know that, but maybe sexually, I'm not into her? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because when I picture doing certain "things," I can't really tell what I feel. I don't take that as an "I'm not into it" though, considering I've wound up liking things with a guy I didn't think I would with anyone, something I only discovered by doing it. This whole situation was driving me insane a few days ago to the point I felt sick, but I've calmed myself out of it to where I've accepted I just have to wait and learn, being long-distance. I'm still entirely invested in us and am going to be honest learning about myself. I haven't actually talked to Sara about it and don't want to unless I come to learn this hunch has credibility. Which room in your house are you in? What color are the walls? My bedroom; light puke green, Why God. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Who got you interested in it? I don't really know about my "absolute favorite." It depends on my mood, really. I think maybe watching my favorite YouTubers tops the list, something Jason actually started with PewDiePie; or RPing, which I got into myself thanks to Meerkat Manor. Would the people you know say you have a nice singing voice? Barely anyone ever hears me sing, so idk. I personally feel my voice suits only few songs. Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you? Ummm, good question. All but two are very close in age range, but most of my friends/closer acquaintances are kinda split around either side. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? Nope. Are you listening to music right now? If so, who’s singing the song? Yeah, I'm listening to Khemmis' cover of "A Conversation With Death." It's the intro song to that new game Man of Medan and is so badass. All the comments are like "came here from so-and-so's LP because this is epic" and same. What is your dream career? What inspired you to pursue this career? Probably meerkat biologist if I could handle the heat and was okay with moving, or paleontologist if I wasn't opposed to heavy travel. I love meerkats and dinosaurs v v much. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? No. What would you say is your favorite holiday? Why did you choose this? Halloween bc spooks and costumes and candy. Does it feel odd being around your friend’s parents? Why or why not? If I'm alone with them and don't know them very well, sure? What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Is there one in your city? Sonic, probably. And no, but in our neighboring city. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Is there one in your city? Olive Garden. See above. Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays? Mom pretty much forces it, lol... Have you ever thought you were adopted because of opposing interests? Y'ALL not kidding I legit asked my fucking mom if I was adopted in elementary school bc I thought she hated me one day versus my little sister lmfao. I went through a phase of feeling like she couldn't be "this mean" to her legitimate child. Are you more interested in indoor activities or outdoor things? Hm, that depends on the activities available. Most outdoor things are more fun, though. When is the next time you’ll see someone you’re crushing on? We were just talking a couple days ago about our next visit, actually. If I can financially, I'm probably coming up to see her for her birthday again, as that's when I have a decent break from school. Speaking of which, how many people are you crushing on right now? Lol I mean it's been just shy of two years, a "crush" doesn't cut it. Have you ever played Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS? Was it fun? No, actually. I didn't grow up playing Mario games. What exactly is your favorite gaming system? Do you have this system? The PS2. It had a giant graphical leap, contains SOOOOO many goodies, and you can still play PS1 games on it. How often do you talk on the phone? Who do you talk with the most? Very very rarely, pretty much only ever with my mom or dad. I hate talking on the phone. Do you normally do what other people around you want you to do? Depends. What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? I don't have one anymore, but it used to be an orange, plastic jack-o-lantern. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 24... wow. What are your plans to celebrate? Probably just go out to dinner with family. What floor do you live on? I only have one floor. Do you have a balcony? No. What is your favorite fall drink, if you had to pick just one? None. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? I've never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? I'm pretty sure I was in my entire school career... Damn dude, proud. Were you a straight A student in math? HA hell no. I could get a C sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I wasn't, but I know people. Are you a Democrat or Republican, or neither? Neither. Independent. Who would take care of you if you needed surgery? My mom and dad, as far as bills go. Do you think you have an accent? Not really. Sometimes you can hear it, though. Have you been told you have an accent? Only when I was younger. I had a SERIOUS one. My family in NY couldn't even understand me sometimes, lmao. Where do you live (country or state)? North Carolina. If you could start a church, what would it be like? I wouldn't. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Nah. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Get a goddamn stable job. Do you know what your purpose in life is? Spreading the love and respect of animals and conservation. If you live in an apartment, what is the maintenance man’s name? N/A What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? Hypothetically, if I had/wanted kids, I'd enjoy carving pumpkins with them, obviously taking them trick-or-treating, autumnal crafts would be fun together, and watching Halloween/scary films appropriate to their age would be a nice experience. I'd decorate the house with them. Oh, a hayride would be cool together, I love those. AND DON'T FORGET JUMPING INTO LEAF PILES! I have a lot of ideas for someone who doesn't want to be a mom. Have you ever seen a fox? Yeah. At least one alive, a handful as roadkill. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. What do the trees look like where you live? Pine trees. Pine trees. What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? I really enjoyed the trip to Beaufort to an island of wild horses. The water was rough that day, and goddamn... watching the ocean in its aggression was unbelievable. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? UM, DID ANY KID NOT????? Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Gimme a science museum and I'm SOLD. What are three issues you are passionate about? GAY RIGHTS, wildlife and nature conservation, women's rights and the pro-choice argument. What are three countries you have no desire to visit? North Korea, Iraq, and... uh... idk. I guess the Middle East in general. That shit's rough. Do you like your country’s flag? Sure? Stars r dope? Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? NO. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Oh. My. God. When I was on three Klonopin a day (I'm now on just one and don't even take it every day), I literally could not function. There was one day in particular (I was on three very briefly bc of this) where I just slept until evening. I physically could not stay awake. I remember I was in the middle of watching a Game Grumps' Mario playthrough, and I'd only last like, ten minutes before I HAD to lie back down, and I'd fall back asleep in like, a minute. That was one of the most awful days ever, I was miserable. Do you like bath bombs? Sure, they're pretty. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don't actually know any. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? He's not very small, I think he's at about a million and a half subs, but Timmy Timato is so fucking iconic. He is an Actual Mood. I have no interest in what he actually posts; I just watch for him. As well, Johnny Paranormal is cool; he's a fuckin awesome guy and is chill and relaxing to watch. I don't watch him religiously, though. Rarely, actually. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? HAVE U HEARD OF????? THE MARKIPLIER GUY??????? What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? I think it was the Pussycat Dolls, fuck off, don't say shit 2 me "Buttons" is still dope. Do you like Disney movies? Blocked & reported if you don't. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Man idk, I enjoy a lot. I enjoyed The Avengers, and Logan REALLY tugged at my heart. Do you have any credit card debt? I don't have a credit card. Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? Probably like... two days, lmao. It's not like I have a lot of experience. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? It's fine. Do you struggle with acne? No, not anymore. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? RP is definitely the "strangest." Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Are you the clubbing type? Definitely not. Never been, not interested. Bar goer? No. I don't trust strangers + alcohol, and I'd be really scared of being hit on. Song you can’t stand? I don't think there's a song I've heard that I hate more than "Welcome To The Machine" by Pink Floyd. Well, correction, "Friday" by Rebecca Black. That autotuned to all fuck voice is just... major ew. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Jason is. Well, if he looks the same as last time I saw him, which was in 2017. Juan doesn't look half bad. Aaron's cute. What is unattractive about them? Jason: fucking communication skills. Juan: his reckless streak. Aaron: nothing that I know of, he's a sweetie and on a great path. Your hottest ex’s name starts with the letter what? J. Pick two highlighter colors: Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange. Pink and orange. Has anyone ever written on you? Who hasn't been written on by friends with markers as a kid? Have you ever dated a fat person? Yes. Have you ever dated someone with a fine ass body? I mean this with total respect and love towards her: Sara's body is genuinely sexy. Her figure is amazing. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Yeah, for prom, as well as my sister's wedding. Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? Yes. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? I fucking hate whipped cream. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I've never paid attention, actually... Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘mustache’? Well my Mark tribute tat has the Iconic pink mustache on it, and the texting screen background on my phone is also a pink mustache collage-y thing lmao. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Yeah, sometimes. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? On a burger. How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? I don't love a man, and I wouldn't marry anyone with a kid. Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? No, but I had SeaWorld Tycoon or whatever it was called. I loved that game. When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I've never cut an onion myself, but when I'm in the proximity of someone doing it, I feel mild irritation. How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? Idk, I don't feel like testing it. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I couldn't even try to guess. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? Um that sounds disgusting. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? Actually, he warned me that he can and he was nervous about me ever seeing it. I, thank Christ, never witnessed it, though. I would've broken the fuck down, I can't handle angry men. What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? I don't know the last time I went to a "meeting." Honestly, when’s the last time you genuinely liked someone? Now. Are you Team Jacob, Team Edward, or you just don’t care? I've never been into Twilight, but I find Jacob way more attractive. Do you like it when questions are long and make you think? Yes. Have you ever had love at first sight happen to you? No. Do you think Avatar is really all that great? I'm assuming you mean the movie and not TLA? I never saw the full thing, but I would love it. Love or trust? Trust, I think. You can't love someone in a healthy fashion if you don't trust them. What do you think about sexting? Not about that personally. That'd be so awkward. Have you ever done it? Those days where RP mating scenes on YouTube were over private message, timeskipping wasn't a thing... oh boy. It WAS uncomfortable. Would you ever swim with dolphins? Yeah! Have you ever believed a stereotype? Probably at some point. Have you ever tried marijuana? No, though tbh I probably would (but not through smoking it) for anxiety and panic attacks if it was legal in my state. Is there any reason you should be in jail right now? Can you go to jail for illegally downloading, or it is just a fine? Idk. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? I mean, it was decent. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. That shit was so hard. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, for panic attacks. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Heartbreak. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Yes, but Mom played a larger role. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. Do you plan outfits? "Not unless it’s a special occasion." <<< Are your parents strict? No. Would you go sky diving? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights, and I'd be really scared the parachute wouldn't deploy. Who sits behind you in your math class? Quite honestly, a bitch. She always has shit to say under her breath. Do you have good vision? No, it's awful. When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? Last I was with Sara. We're watching Avatar: The Last Airbender together. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? She's competitive and admits to it. A lot, particularly in writing, is a "mine needs to be better" thing. When was the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? When I saw my niece and nephew at my nephew's birthday party. How many best friends do you have? One. Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? Neither. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? GRAPE. I hate strawberry jam/jelly. Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? I don't think I do personally. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was like... 11-12 or so, maybe? Possibly younger? Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Fuck no. Do you own any exercise machines? No. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? If I need to, sure. School leaves me voicemails sometimes if I miss a call. Do you live in your hometown? No. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Not very festive, but I mean, I enjoy 'em. Did you/Will you attend college? I'm back in college now!! You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. Listening to music fitting my mood helps me feel related to and not alone. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you watch the news? No. What hooks you to a television show? The most important thing is A GOOD PLOT!!! It needs to be really interesting to me, bc I do NOT get into shows easily. As for funny shows, they need to be fuuuuunny. I don't think I could ever get "hooked" on a show again, though. I just don't watch TV. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Yes. On the morphine occasion, it didn't do jackshit. I don't think they gave me nearly enough. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? The #1 thing that most fits the definition of "skin crawling" to me is seeing a fetus move from outside the stomach, especially the further the mother is along. It's fucking alien-esque and actually makes me scream and panic. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? It can be either. Do you have a dining room in your house? No. Do you know the alphabet in any other languages? Very close to all of German's. I blank and aren't sure on a couple. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever been surfing? No.

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

Who Waits For Love (Chapter 6)

Summary: T.J. Kippen lost his chance to tell Cyrus Goodman how he felt when they were in the 8th grade. Now, they are in their junior year of high school and Cyrus is on his 3rd relationship. Is it time to give up… or continue to wait for love?

A/N: I don’t know if you guys will love me or hate me after this.

The drive home was silent. Cyrus puffed his cheeks and tapped his fingers against his knee. The silence, normally comfortable to him, was incredibly tense. He could practically feel the electricity in the air, but not the good kind.

T.J. was clearly bothered by something. He had joined Cyrus in the car with his jaw clenched, refusing to meet him in the eye for some reason. And his grip on the steering wheel was so tight that Cyrus could see his knuckles turning white.

“T.J.?” he called out, softly. “Is everything okay?”

The blonde jumped a little before shaking his shoulders. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

Cyrus huffed. “You’re lying. Pull over.”

“Cyrus-.”

“Please. You’re distracted. We’ll get into an accident if you keep driving like that.”

It was the right thing to say. T.J. would never allow anything to happen to them, if he could help it. He moved the car to the side and killed the engine. Sighing loudly, the blonde leaned his head back against the headrest of his seat, closing his eyes.

The sight worried Cyrus. T.J. seemed fine before they left school. He was his usual funny and affectionate self. It was only after…

Cyrus bit his lip. “Did something happen with Aidan?”

The blonde stiffened. Slowly, he opened his eyes and visibly swallowed.

“T.J.?”

His friend turned to look at him, looking conflicted. “Um… Aidan… asked me out… on a date.”

Cyrus’ chest tightened and his stomach flopped unpleasantly. “O-Oh?” he managed.

T.J. pursed his lips. “Yeah. It was… unexpected.”

“I didn’t even know he was gay,” was all he could say.

“Apparently, neither does he.” T.J. seemed to hesitate before continuing. “He said he’s trying to figure things out with himself. And… I guess going out on a date with me might help him confirm things.”

Cyrus’ brow furrowed. “Is he okay with you telling me?’

“I… I think so. I don’t know. I just… I needed to tell you.”

He smiled, kindly. “Don’t worry. I can keep secrets.”

T.J. appeared to hesitate again before saying, “He asked if you were my boyfriend.”

Cyrus’ heart sped up. “And what did you say?”

“That we’re best friends.”

“Oh. Okay.” Cyrus clasped his hands on his lap, tightly. It wasn’t like it was a lie. They were best friends. “So…what was your answer?”

T.J. sighed. “Um.”

Cyrus almost laughed if the whole thing wasn’t so serious. “You said… um?”

The blonde looked almost embarrassed now. “Yeah, kinda.”

“Are you Andi?” Cyrus snorted.

Finally, T.J. broke into his first real smile since he entered the car. “I guess I listened to her tell the story many times that it just got stuck in my head.” He chuckled. “But, I told him that I would think about it.” He met Cyrus’ eyes. “What do I do?”

Why was T.J. asking him? Well, he was touched that he took Cyrus’ opinion into consideration but this was about T.J.’s love life, not his. And if he liked Aidan…

Cyrus swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away. “Well, do you like him that way?”

It took a few seconds for T.J. to answer. “I don’t know.”

“But he likes you.”

“I… guess?” T.J. sighed, long and loud. “I mean… he’s cool. And we have a lot of things in common. And he’s very… forward.”

“You should say ‘yes’,” was out of Cyrus’ mouth before he registered what exactly that meant.

A sense of dread and horror fell over him. What did he just say?!

He took a peek at his friend. T.J. was quiet, looking like he was actually considering it.

Cyrus wanted to take it back. He opened his mouth to brush it off as a joke but then froze. Why was he stopping his best friend from possibly finding love and having a relationship?

The jock hadn’t dated during their entire friendship. Sure, he had gone on some double dates with Cyrus and whoever his boyfriend was at the time, but nothing serious ever came out of those dates. The blonde was straightforward about not romantically liking any of them.

It was like T.J. was just not interested in anyone. But, this was the first time he had seen him genuinely consider someone enough to ask Cyrus about it.

“Really?” T.J. asked in disbelief.

“Y-Yeah.” Chest tightening, he swallowed the lump in his throat. “I mean… like you said… he’s cool. And nice. And you deserve to be happy too.”

The blonde stared at him, his face unreadable. Cyrus gazed back, ignoring the way his chest ached and the stinging in his eyes. He wasn’t even sure why he was feeling that way. He should be happy for T.J.

“So…you’re saying I should say ‘yes’?” the blonde asked, his voice unsure… like he was asking for Cyrus’ approval.

So, Cyrus forced a smile. “I think Aidan is good for you, Teej.”

T.J. smiled back and nodded. “Okay,” he said, his voice cracking a little.

That was strange but before Cyrus could ask about it, T.J. turned away and put the car back in gear.

The rest of the drive was silent once more. But, the churning in Cyrus’ stomach never ceased. He felt sick.

…….........

He had finished his homework and studied for his English test. His brain was drained and he was ready to pass out. Checking the time and seeing that there was still half an hour before his step-mother would call him down for dinner (he was staying at his Dad’s for this month), Cyrus dragged himself to his bed and dived face-first on top of the covers.

Loudly, he released a groan.

Why was he so annoyed?!?!

Rolling onto his back, he reached out for his phone on the nightstand next to his bed and opened up the GHC group chat.

Facetime?

It took a few minutes for the girls to respond.

Andiman: Just finished my homework so I’m free!

Slayer: Me too. What’s up?

He tapped on the camera option and waited.

“Hiii!” Andi sang.

“What’s up, Cy?” Buffy chimed in.

He smiled, leaning back against his pillows. “Hey. So… I need your guy’s thoughts on something.”

The girls simultaneously nodded, ready to lend their listening ears.

Cyrus swallowed and took a deep breath. “So… today… T.J. got asked out on a date.”

“Wow, really?” Buffy exclaimed, eyes wide.

“By who?” Andi asked.

Cyrus bit his lip, hesitating. “I can’t say. But… ugh!!!”

He rolled over, tucking his chin on top of one hand while the other held the phone to his face.

“It’s been bothering me!” he whined.

The girls were quiet for a moment, just watching him have a mental breakdown through the screen. His head hurt and his body felt like jelly, like all of his energy got sucked out of him. He couldn’t get the image of T.J. asking for his approval to date out of his head. If anything, he didn’t need Cyrus’ permission! He could go on a date if he wanted to!

“Did he say ‘yes’?” Buffy asked, sounding heavily concerned.

Cyrus groaned. “No. Not yet, at least. But, I think he will.”

“Why would he do that?!” she screeched.

Even Andi looked shocked.

Was it really that unbelievable that T.J. got asked out? It wasn’t like it was the first time!

That thought made another vein on his forehead twitch.

“Because he likes them?” Cyrus answered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That’s impossible,” Andi blurted out.

Cyrus opened his eyes to both of his best friends looking distressed. “Why?” he asked, curiously. “He’s a great guy, I think. And T.J. seems to really like him.”

Why was his voice so weak and tired?

“What did you say?” Buffy asked, instead.

“Me?” Cyrus shrugged. “I told him he should say ‘yes’.”

“What?!” the girls chorused, making him lift an eyebrow.

“What is wrong with you two? Why do you sound so surprised that T.J. got asked out? He’s a great guy. Who wouldn’t ask him out?”

“Straight guys and lesbians?” Andi provided with a grin.

That made Cyrus chuckle.

Meanwhile, Buffy was still frowning. “So…you’re jealous?” she stated, slowly.

He felt his cheeks turn red. “How did you get that from everything I said?!”

Buffy shrugged. “I didn’t. I was taking a guess. But, based on that, it looks like you are.”

“Why would you think that?!” Cyrus replied, defensively.

“So, you’re not jealous?”

“Of course not!”

The two girls raised their eyebrows eerily at the same time.

“How do you two do that?!”

They simply continued to look at him, being all judge-y. Cyrus wrinkled his nose. They were so rude, giving him looks like that! What did they know?!

He huffed. “And so what if I’m jealous? I still…”

He trailed off, eyes widening in surprise at his own words. Slowly, he sat up, crossing his legs underneath him, realization dawning upon him and making his mind go haywire in confusion.

“I’m jealous?” he whispered to himself.

“I mean, Cy, it wouldn’t be the first time,” said Buffy, gently this time.

“What do you mean?”

“Cy, whenever someone asks T.J. out, you act all jealous.”

“That is completely false and untrue!”

“Really? Remember freshman orientation?”

That was three years ago, it was all a blur to him.

Buffy continued, “This one girl was clearly into T.J. and was flirting with him and when she tried to ask him out, you jumped right in and went, ‘Sorry, you’re not his type. He’s gay. You’re better off not wasting your time’ and practically shoo-ed her away.”

Cyrus remembered now. That girl was in his and T.J.’s History class. Every now and then, she would still stare at the blonde so he guessed that crush never went away.

“But it wasn’t like I was lying!” he responded, defensively. “T.J. is gay. He wouldn’t have gone out with her! I was saving her time and energy!”

Andi piped in this time. “What about the time Freddie tried to ask him out after you two broke up?”

Cyrus’ eye twitched. “He was breaking the ex code!”

“Which is?” Buffy prodded.

“To not date your ex’s friends!”

“That’s a stupid code and you know it!”

Yeah, he knew it was stupid. But, at the time, the thought of T.J. going out with Freddie didn’t settle well in his stomach. And T.J. didn’t even like Freddie that way! The girls were being ridiculous!

“Well, we’ve gone on double dates and I was never jealous of the guys he went out with,” he pointed out, very sure of himself.

Buffy burst out laughing and even Andi hid her giggles behind her hand.

“What?” Cyrus questioned, confused.

“You always had something to complain about the person on a date with T.J.,” Andi stated, matter-of-factly. “They either don’t pay T.J. enough attention or T.J. was too good for them or they made fun of T.J.’s dyscalculia and it made you angry.”

“That last one is valid! You should never make fun of someone’s learning disability!”

“Why are you in so much denial, Cyrus?” Andi asked, sincerely.

Cyrus froze. “I… I’m not,” he stammered, weakly.

“What are you so scared of?” she continued.

A lump formed in his throat. “I… I just…”

“Cyrus.” His pixie-haired friend flashed him a small smile. “Do you like T.J.?”

He dropped his phone in shock.

“Cyrus?!”

“Cy?! Are you okay?!”

With a shaking hand, he fumbled for the phone, raising it up to his face again. The little box with his head showed how red he was.

“Why would you think I like T.J.?!” he blurted out.

Buffy chuckled. “Well, for one, we have eyes. You’re not exactly subtle.”

“And when you’re with him, you always get this… sparkle.” Andi looked dreamy as she said it.

Cyrus opened his mouth to deny the allegations but stopped. These were his best friends. They would know if he lied.

But, would it be lying? It wasn’t like he still had feelings for T.J….did he? It was a long-ago crush that started in the 8th grade.

From the moment T.J. had come out to him, Cyrus had been waiting for him to make a move, but he never did. Cyrus waited and waited, but it began to feel like waiting for the dinosaurs to come back and re-populate the earth.

So, he figured that he should forget his feelings and move on. That was why he dated. If someone told him they liked him, he didn’t hesitate in accepting their feelings.

But… maybe… perhaps… the feelings had just been dormant. Maybe they never disappeared like he thought they did.

“Cyrus?” Andi’s voice broke through his thoughts. “If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. But, you know we’re here for you. We’ll always listen.”

“And we won’t judge either,” Buffy added with a smile.

Cyrus couldn’t help but feel touched by his best friends’ concerns. Which was why he couldn’t lie to them anymore. Not about this.

“I’ve liked him since the 8th grade,” he finally confessed. “I… I’m not exactly sure how it happened. But, one day, I just looked at him and realized… ‘I like this guy. He’s one of the best things that had ever happened to me’. And that was why I came out to him. A part of me was terrified that he would stop being my friend, but another part just… hoped.”

He remembered struggling and arguing with himself for several weeks before finally making the decision to tell T.J. that he was gay. And after telling him, it felt like a huge weight off his shoulders. He felt free. He wanted to tell T.J. his feelings but didn’t want to overwhelm him with too much information at once.

Maybe had been too naïve and had hoped…viciously hoped...that things would work out like they did in the movies. That the protagonist – him – would get the guy in the end. But, that hope was unfounded.

T.J. only liked him as a friend. His best friend.

“All these years, I thought my feelings for T.J. had disappeared,” he continued. “I started liking other guys, too, so I thought that I’d moved on. But, as it turns out, just because I liked and dated other guys didn’t mean that I stopped liking T.J. Maybe…maybe that’s why my relationships just never seemed to work out.”

“You heart wants someone else,” Andi stated and Cyrus couldn’t deny her statement.

Perhaps, he also had some shortcomings in his relationships. And that was not fully giving his all in it because of his lingering feelings for his blonde best friend.

“Why don’t you tell him then?” Buffy said, softly. “Before it’s too late. Cy, don’t wait for him to make the move.”

Cyrus swallowed. “I’m scared.”

“About what?” Andi asked, kindly.

“Losing him. He’s so important to me, you guys. I can’t… what if I make a move and things go wrong and we stop being friends?”

“I swear to God, you two…” Buffy mumbled before shaking her head. “Look, Cyrus. You clearly like him. Like, sickeningly in love with him!”

Andi nodded her head in agreement, making Cyrus blush.

“And if you don’t make a move, you’ll be stuck in this eternal loop of being friends and constantly jealous of each other’s boyfriends and ten years from now, you’ll wonder about the time you lost and the regret for not taking a risk when you had the chance.”

Cyrus let the words sink in, his chest aching in longing.

“Cyrus, we love you,” Andi said. “And we just want you to be happy.”

Cyrus swallowed. “What if… things don’t work out?”

“What if they do?” Buffy said, instead.

That left Cyrus thinking about possibilities that he had long ago given up on.

And a new feeling bloomed in his chest and he was both elated and terrified at its reappearance.

He was feeling hope.

…….......

“Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?”

Cyrus blinked. “Huh?”

T.J. flashed him a quick look before turning his gaze back to the road. “You’ve been staring at me and not saying anything. It’s kinda weird.”

Coughing, Cyrus adjusted his position in his seat so that he was facing the front.

“Sorry. I was…thinking about something.”

“Oh? What about?”

“That’s for me to know.”

“Ooohh you’re keeping secrets from me now, Underdog? Should I be concerned?”

He said it in a joking manner but Cyrus could read between his lines. T.J. was worried about him. His heart skipped a beat and this time, he wasn’t confused. He knew what he was feeling.

“No, nothing to be concerned about,” he said, as lightly as he could.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

They moved on to talking about other things after that.

For someone who was still coming to terms with the fact that he may still have a giant crush on his best friend, Cyrus was acting pretty normal. Then again, he had always felt comfortable around T.J. He always felt light, like nothing could go wrong as long as the other boy was beside him. Maybe that was one of the reasons he liked him so much.

They arrived at school and entered the doors, laughing and joking about the frogs in the freshman Biology classes.

“I bet you at least five kids are gonna run out of class to puke their guts out,” T.J. chortled.

“Were you one of the five who did that freshman year?” Cyrus teased.

T.J. turned red and was immediately on the defense. “No! I didn’t puke!”

“But you ran out of class?”

“That frog was gonna jump at my face!”

Cyrus chuckled. “I’m sure that it wouldn’t have-.”

“Hey, T.J.”

They turned their attention to the newcomer walking up to them: Aidan.

Cyrus felt himself go cold at the sight of the other boy.

Aidan sported a wide smile as he strode to them with confidence in his steps. He stopped right in front of T.J. and grinned at him before turning to Cyrus.

“Cyrus,” he greeted.

Cyrus forced a smile. “Hey, Aidan.”

The brunette then turned to T.J. again and lifted his hand, revealing a paper bag. “I got you something, Teej.”

Cyrus took a peek at his best friend from the corner of his eye and saw him turn red as he accepted the present.

“Thanks,” he said, opening the bag. “Scones?”

“Blueberry scones.” Aidan sounded proud. “You mentioned blueberries were your favorite.”

“Wow, that’s really… sweet.”

Cyrus held his tongue, even as he fumed at seeing Aidan blush at T.J.’s compliment. The other boy couldn’t get his gaze off the blonde. It was like Cyrus wasn’t even there!

Then, he stared at the bag of scones. It reminded him of T.J. always bringing him treats. When was the last time Cyrus had done that for him? He made a mental note to bake blueberry macadamia muffins this weekend. Maybe he and T.J. could do it together?

“So, I’m wondering if you had the chance to think about what I asked yesterday?” Aidan asked, breaking Cyrus out of his thoughts.

“Oh… um…” T.J. turned his head to look at Cyrus, looking nervous and unsure all of a sudden.

Feeling his heart tightening, he knew he had to remove himself from the situation.

“I’m gonna go right ahead,” he stated, managing to keep his tone steady. “I’ll see you later, T.J. Aidan.”

Not waiting to hear a response from either boy, he sped off.

……..............

Days passed.

T.J. didn’t talk about it much but Cyrus knew he had agreed to Aidan’s date. Marty told him. And he watched Aidan practically skipping with glee in the halls.

It was basically confirmed when he asked T.J. if he wanted to hang out after his work on Saturday and the blonde told him he was busy.

Cyrus wondered if he was shy about it or just didn’t want him to know that he was going on a date. Either way, he spent his Saturday at Andi’s, lamenting his woes. The two girls were sympathetic but also jumped at the chance to goad him into making a move and confessing his feelings.

On Monday and Tuesday, T.J. picked him up for school and took him home as usual. But, he never said a word about his date. Cyrus didn’t want to nag him about it but he was driving himself crazy with curiosity!

He was still brimming with it when T.J. came over on Wednesday to study for their History test together.

They were taking a break and T.J. was sitting cross-legged on a cushion on the floor while Cyrus laid on his stomach on the bed. Both boys were on their phones. 

Cyrus was scrolling Instagram when a photo of Marty and Buffy on a date to the virtual arcade popped up. They really loved that place.

He turned his phone off and twisted his head to the side, staring at the tuft of blonde hair peeking out from the edge of his bed where T.J. was seated. He wanted to reach out and poke it or run his hands through it.

He held himself back, though.

“Hey, so how was your date with Aidan?” he casually asked.

It took a few seconds for T.J. to turn around to look up at him, red with embarrassment. 

“How did you know?

Cyrus smiled a little. “It’s not that hard to figure out. And… Marty told me.”

“Marty,” T.J. hissed before shaking his head. “It was no big deal. We just hung out.”

Cyrus lifted an eyebrow.

At the look, T.J. sighed and got up from the floor. He climbed onto the bed and laid down on his back beside Cyrus.

“It was… fun. He took me to an Escape Room.”

“That does sound like...fun,” Cyrus agreed, not moving from his position. He could see T.J.’s face clearly like this. “What else happened?”

The blonde chuckled. “It turns out we both sucked at it. We lost and they had to let us out.” He broke into a fond smile. “We went to laser tag after that. Then we had dinner at The Spoon. He paid and wouldn’t even let me handle the tip. And then he walked me home. I gotta say...he knows how to treat a date right.”

It sounded so romantic. Very textbook date night, but nonetheless a classic. And, suffice to say, Cyrus was jealous. Insanely. He was sure that he would have taken T.J. out on a romantic date too, if he had the chance!

(Although, he probably wouldn’t have thought of Laser Tag, at first. But, he would tuck that idea in the back of his mind for later.)

“Wow, that’s… that’s nice,” was all he could come up with. He cleared his throat. “Are you gonna go out with him again?”

T.J. was quiet for a moment, staring at the ceiling. Cyrus wondered if he even heard him. He was about to repeat his question when the other boy finally spoke.

“I don’t know.”

“Oh.” Cyrus swallowed. “But, you like him, right?”

“He’s…a nice guy.”

The unsure answer only served to strengthen the hope in Cyrus’ chest.

If T.J. didn’t know if he liked Aidan, then maybe…maybe he had a chance to capture his heart.

Buffy told him to take a risk.

This should be it.

It was time.

He was going to make a move and ask T.J. out.

Now, if only his lips would move.

He opened his mouth to speak.

“Anyway, we should go back to studying,” T.J. stated, pushing himself up and stretching. “It’s my turn with the flash cards.”

Watching him scoot towards the bedside table to grab said flash cards, Cyrus could only sigh in disappointment.

He was always a beat too late.

……......

More days passed.

Cyrus tried to pluck up his courage but whenever he tried, something always came in the way. Either they were interrupted, T.J. started talking about something else, or Cyrus just lost his nerve.

It was so frustrating! Things were easier when it was him being asked out!

Meanwhile, Aidan was idling around T.J. more and more. He waited for him in the mornings. He approached him at his locker. Sometimes, he would even sit with them at lunch.

Cyrus wished he could hate him. But…Aidan was nice. He was friendly and charismatic and he really genuinely liked T.J. and wasn’t shy about it.

By now, the rest of their friends were aware of Aidan’s crush. Buffy and Andi were clearly unhappy about it (they were on his team, after all!) but it wasn’t like they could stop the guy from liking their blonde friend. Marty and Jonah seemed neutral, but Cyrus was sure that Marty disapproved, too (probably Buffy’s influence).

Meanwhile, T.J. remained tight-lipped about what was really going on between him and the curly-haired boy.

It made Cyrus nervous, if he was honest.

And his fears were not so baseless.

One Friday afternoon, he was waiting for T.J. at the blonde’s locker. His friend was running late.

“Hey, CyGuy!” Jonah was striding up to him, hand lifted in a wave.

“Hey, JB!” he greeted back. “What’s up?”

“So, I read this article during study hall about mindfulness. Apparently, it helps with anxiety and stuff. They mentioned this book and I’m wondering if your Dad might have a copy?”

Unfortunately, Jonah still wasn’t getting therapy. The thought of it, alone, made him even more anxious. But, he was making an effort to take better care of himself now and resolved to read every article he came across about anxiety and how to handle it. Cyrus’ dad was only too happy to lend him books.

Cyrus smiled. “Text me the title and I’ll check at home.”

“Thanks! So, you waiting for T.J.?”

“Yeah, he’s running a bit late.” He scanned the crowd for the familiar blonde head. Finally, he spotted it coming down the stairs from the second floor. “There he is!”

His glee at seeing T.J. dampened when he saw another familiar head of curls behind him.

The two boys were talking and laughing as they neared the lockers and Cyrus. Jonah greeted them, friendly as always.

“So, Aidan needs a ride home today,” T.J. stated, looking at Cyrus. “Is that okay?”

Him? In a car with Aidan sending T.J. heart eyes the entire time and T.J. welcoming those heart eyes with that cute shy smile and blush?

“Yeah. Of course.” He cleared his throat. “Actually, I wanted to tell you that… I’m… hanging out with Jonah today.”

Brows furrowed, T.J. asked, “You are?”

“We are?” Jonah added, looking confused.

Cyrus flashed him pleading eyes. “You said we haven’t hung out just the two of us in a while.”

Thankfully, Jonah got the message. “Oh, right.” He turned to T.J. “Is that cool with you, T.J.? I’ll bring him home, I promise.”

Seeming to be over his shock, T.J. nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Cyrus felt guilty for ditching him but he really didn’t want to be stuck in an enclosed space with him and Aidan for the next fifteen or so minutes. Watching his crush getting flirted on by someone who also had a crush on him? He felt like a coward, but he couldn’t watch it. His after-school rides with T.J. were sacred and he didn’t want to taint them with seeing such a display and his own jealousy overflowing.  

That was how Cyrus found himself at The Spoon with Jonah, basket of baby taters in front of them. He hadn’t spoken a word since the food arrived, only aggressively stuffing tater after tater in his mouth, barely tasting them. He was so annoyed!

“Is something wrong, Cy?” Jonah asked.

“Nope. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is fine and dandy.”

He grabbed his chocolate milkshake and sipped, quickly. A little too fast because the ice cold feeling immediately went to his head, making him flinch.

“Easy there, bro.” Jonah looked worried, now. He had successfully made Jonah Beck concerned. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

Aside from Andi and Buffy, Jonah was one of his dearest friends. He was his first ever true guy friend (and gay awakening but he wasn’t going to dwell on that anymore). 

And Cyrus didn’t really lie to T.J. He and Jonah hadn’t hung out just the two of them for a while now. They were always accompanied by the girls, Marty, and T.J. So, it was nice that they could just be bros again.

Maybe he could confide in Jonah? He trusted him, after all.

“Have you ever felt so strongly about someone that you’re scared to be with them?” Cyrus asked, softly.

Jonah’s eyes widened in surprise before nodding in understanding. “Because if anything goes wrong, you could lose them.”

It was Cyrus’ turn to be surprised. He never figured that Jonah, of all people, would say something that resonated so strongly in him.

“Is this about T.J.?” Jonah continued.

Cyrus felt himself blush but nodded, anyway. “You…know?” he asked, hesitantly.

Jonah grinned. “The girls like to talk about how oblivious you are. It’s hard not to get caught up.”

Groaning, Cyrus placed his arms on the table and propped his chin on top of them. “Did everyone figure it out except for me?”

“Possibly. But, hey. I think T.J. likes you, too. It’s weird that neither of you have made a move.”

Cyrus snorted in disbelief. “You’re wrong. T.J. doesn’t like me. At least, not like that. If he did, he would have told me long ago.”

Jonah shrugged. “Maybe he’s scared.”

“What would he be scared about?”

Jonah chuckled. “Losing you? You’re important to him, you know.”

At that, Cyrus blinked. He never thought of that. But, he still couldn’t help but doubt it.

“You should talk to him,” Jonah said, encouragingly.

“Yeah… I’m just… waiting for the right moment.”

Lifting his head, he decided to change the subject. “What about you? You seem to know quite a bit about liking someone very strongly and not wanting to lose them.” He grinned at his friend. “Is there something you aren’t telling us?”

To his surprise and curiosity, Jonah blushed and sheepishly looked down at the plate of baby taters. But, his lips were smiling.

“Come on, JB. It’s just me.”

Cyrus reached out and placed a hand over his on top of the table. He flashed him an encouraging smile.

That seemed to make Jonah relax.

“I… uh… have been hanging out with Walker more lately,” he started.

Cyrus’ brow raised at that. 

Walker. 

How unexpected. 

Then again, he and his friends seemed to surprise each other with their random crushes and choice in partners. (Except maybe Buffy. That was the only one that made sense.)

There was Andi and Amber, those two were definitely a surprise, considering their past. And then his crush on T.J., which was unexpected and hit him like a freight train.

Walker and Jonah didn’t seem too far-fetched. And the artist was the first boy the dimpled boy had shown genuine interest in.

“But, I’m still figuring things out so…is it okay if we keep this between us?”

Cyrus smiled, touched at Jonah’s trust in him. He patted the boy’s hand before pulling back. “Of course. Your secret is safe with me. And…same with the thing with me and T.J.?”

Jonah nodded.

They sealed their promise with a fist bump.

He truly had amazing friends.

A/N: I’ve always liked the idea of gay!Cyrus and bi!Jonah bonding about their crushes. 

Tag list:

@androgynouspoetrycollector

@tyrusmuff1n

@thedampjofangirl

@tjsmuffin

@alyssailovespuppies

@buffy-driscool

@r4anly

@delicatesleeper

@amazingpartytattoos

@unprofessionalart

@myrandom-fandomlife

@tjshoodie

@just-fic-me-up

@tjskipping

@completelysterling @theobligatedklutz

@justeilona

@literally-just-for-fanfics

@turtle0verl0rd

@angel28716

@tjlikedhimfirst

@tyrus-endgayme-confirmed 

@breadisticks

[babyboyoonie]

Yoonmin Rec Masterlist

what more can i say,, let’s just GET IT 

Fluff

Thunder | it’s thunder, bitch | don’t mind my tags | Yoongi just doesn’t like thunder much

A Little Jealousy | never kills nobody~~ | well the title is self-explanatory what do you want me to say

housewarming | they’re adorable as fuck | my heart has been reported: soft

In the way you give and take | Jimin’s intense with his feelings | they’re just both whipped for each other

Almond Eyes | coffee shop AU | Yoongi’s super shy | Jimin’s a flirt

Soft Spot | Yoongi’s soft for the maknae line

Coffee and Honey | coffee shop AU | Yoonmin are adorable

You're My Everything | Yoongi is a clumsy cutie | Jimin’s soft

mind is a razor blade | doggo Jimin but not really | Yoongi lens a flower shop

fools | shy Yoongi is shy

If looks could kill... | I’m not gonna say anything | just read lololol

You don't mess with Min Yoongi | in which Yoongi is softer than soft

Impulse | vampire Jimin | childhood friend AU

let's stay like this | morning sweetness | Yoongi’s as needy as he said Holly was

meow and cuddles | hybrid AU but not really | it’s soft and a bit angsty on Minnie’s side but nothing big

sleep and showers | they’re both hybrids | and cute

Away in The Mountains | witch!jimin with his magic kitty Yoon

babies and flowers | kid fic

To Not See Is To Love | sweet n soft

i don't care if you're not sorry, i forgive you | seemingly bad boy Yoongi | he really isn’t and Jimin sees it

Tiny Humans Not Included | yoonmin are adorable ))=| caring for a baby included

Of Potions and Chocolates | dragon slayer Jimin | potion brewer Yoongi | they’re crushing on each other but totally oblivious and it’s sweet

Tell Me Your Secrets, I'll Tell You Mine | post stress after mixtape release | overall cute

Nothing wrong with a little Pride | adorable and funny to bits | the characters are so lovable whoa

For You | comfort

In Bloom | mystery  | just soft

I Think It’s Called, Customer Service | an adorable misunderstanding | cute

Angst

Overdose | sad...but not too much...but sad

Color // Yoonmin | bitch maybe I cried | aaah my heart hurts why am I doing this

Why are you shaking up my heart? | it begins as v sad but turns out soft in the middle | crushing boys having crushes in idol verse

you make me believe in happily ever after | right in the kokoro

if I can laugh with you, my heart will clear up, too | oof be mindful of your heart it’ll clench up so bad

Lead me home | angst fest yeay | Pirate AU

Ashtrays and Heartbreaks (a love song since when)  | soft angst  | dealing with feelings n all that

An Uber-Unexpected Journey | an Uber story

Caught in a Lie | cheating

Confidence | it’s sad but not full blown sad ya know | ends up sweet

Smut

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait | threesome | Yoonminjin | dom Jimin

imma give it to you right now |  ABO | alpha Jimin | Omega Yoongi | cute

you're unbelievable (but i still want it) | funny!! | they’re both very straightforward....

Sleepover | face-fucking | cock-slut Yoongi

Thunderstorm | soft

Lock and key | ABO | porn with plot | dog hybrid Jimin

no rest for the wicked | Taegimin | tired bby yoon

softer than the sky at dusk | Yoonminseok | (((;

things that can't be found on the internet | i don’t even know what to tag | just read it pls it’s good

Let yourself unwind | shower sex | Dom Jimin

Hatred Plays On Our Side | enemies to lover

Cherry Lips  | crossdressing  | Yoongi in pretty clothes

i would throw in the towel for you, boy  | jockstraps? daddy kink? yeah, uh, that

Touch me, Hyung | morning sex

Camera Shy | Plot twist

Slice of life

Don't come closer (I'll bite) | College AU | Jimin is b o l d | Yoongi tries to be mean but he’s a marshmallow so jokes on him | a favorite

Powder Pink (Softer Than Mink) | Car racing AU | smut part contains BDSM

we'll be your escape | idol verse | part everyone/Yoongi | cuddles

rid me of this meddlesome fate | deities AU | ADORABLE

styx and stones (i'm home alone) | ...hell AU? | Jimin is chaotic

Charcoal and Graphite | vampire jimin

Red's Big Bad Wolf | red riding hood AU | Jimin is one yummy wolf okay and really into Yoongi

What Helps Him Sleep At Night | Incubus Jimin | he’s whipped and it’s adorable

Money can't buy happiness (except when it does) | it hurts but it hurts good | v v sweet

Transparent | ghosts AU

We Belong Together  | surprise baby-sitting  | yoongi is good with babies

I kissed a boy (and I liked it).  | or the one where jimin’s yongi’s sex-drive epiphany

Peach Kiss | the 80′s | soft boys in love | so so endearing

Caught In A Lie | Royalty AU

Multi-chaptered

A Cinderella Story: Yoonmin Edition | social media au + some parts written

Two Worlds | ABO | boarding school | Alpha Jimin | Omega Yoongi

at the touch of death | mythology AU | Persephone Yoongi | Hades Jimin

I want you (to want me) | college AU | playboy Jimin

two plus one | idol jimin and single parent Yoongi | they’re cute

I know you want to be my bitch for tonight | Yoongi’s depicted as an asshole in the beginning but it’s explained and it gets better don’t worry

A Little Bit of Everything| chat fic | the interactions are cute!!! | 12/10 would recommend their dynamic | a favorite of @lollifewhatlife

SUN PRINCE | another chat fic | my personal favorite | platonic taegi for life

that's gay | chat fic !! | ...platonic taegi hehe

when you're in love all the lines get blurred | fake dating au | Yoongi’s actually so soft you’ll see

Conflicting Arrangement | 12/10 character development

Solace | bitter sweet | heartbreaking in the most mundane way, it shouldn’t be that sad but it is | it gets better super quick so no worries

Neko Atsume | cat hybrid Yoongi | okay so Yoongi’s really soft and Jimin takes care of him real good BUT Yoongi tops in one chapter (the 77th) | I still rec-ed it bc even though he tops Jimin is still in charge

Soft | trope inversion, Jimin’s the bad boy and Yoongi’s the good one | Jimin isn’t bad at all actually lmao

blow a kiss (fire a gun) | spy AU

Ablaze | dragon Yoongi turning human | spell breaker Jimin | it’s a roller coaster you’ve been warned

Burning Snow | crush crush | unhealthy relationship (not between yoonmin)

[fmpseenandnotheard]

Artist Research...

(1) Boogie-Street & Documentary Photography...

Boogie will blow your mind.

The native of Belgrade, Serbia got his start began documenting rebellion and unrest during the civil war that ravaged his country in the 1990s, and the experience seemed to have a profound effect not only on him, but on his work as well. Though Boogie now resides in New York – he arrived in 1998 – all of his work still carries the urgency and thought-provoking depth of a war-torn country.

Perhaps it’s because Boogie’s latest photographs focus on lives torn apart – from the runaway smoking crack in a drug den that used to be a hospital to the gang member caught in a moment of tenderness while cuddling his newborn child. Boogie appears to have shot everything, everywhere. Beggars on the streets of Caracas, Skinheads in Serbia, birds caged by power lines in Tokyo – the world looks more moody, evocative and meaningful through Boogie’s lens. Every detail takes on a life of its own.

Unsurprisingly, the photography world has taken notice – Boogie has published five monographs and exhibited around the world. He shoots for high end clients, renowned publications and countless awe-struck eyes worldwide.

Daniel: Tell us about yourself, where did the name Boogie get picked up and what’s the story behind it?

Boogie: I’m 40 years old, born and raised in Belgrade, Serbia, moved to NYC in 1998 after winning a green card lottery; I’ve shot a lot, published 5 monographs so far, had some interesting solo exhibitions. My nickname was given to me by my friends some 20 or so years ago after a character from some scary movie.

Daniel: You do a lot of “candid” or better yet documentary photography. Are you always geared with a camera where ever you go?

Boogie: Of course, I’m a photographer, that’s what I do

Daniel: Lots of Gangs, Drugs, Skinhead photography. That screams trouble, are you not afraid meeting with these people, taking their photographs? Have you ever encountered trouble? – How do you approach these people at first?

Boogie: While I was photographing gangsters, skinheads, junkies, it never crossed my mind to be afraid. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to get those photos. People can sense fear easily – plus, I don’t think any photo is worth risking your life for. I encountered some minor problems, but nothing serious, after all I’m still here. I always listened to my instincts, they kept me safe.

There is no recipe for approaching people. You either have it in you or you don’t. Usually if you treat people with respect they’ll be OK with you.

Daniel: You’ve recently signed a deal with HBO’s new show “How To Make It In America” what were your feelings when you first heard HBO was interested in featuring your photography, and what do you think about the show?

Boogie: It was a great gig, I met some very interesting people and got to know how the movie industry works. I haven’t seen the show, just the pilot, which I liked.

Daniel: Here’s a funny question wrapped around the HBO show – so When did you know you finally made it, as a photographer in America

Boogie: ‘Making it’ is very relative. I made it as a human being cause I have a great family and get to do what I love.

Daniel: Have you ever thought of shooting film?

Boogie: You mean moving picture? If so, while working on this HBO show, I realized that being a director of photography is an amazing job. Maybe the only job in the world I would trade for mine.

Daniel: What is your connection with photography, your personal life, and your photographs of poverty?

Boogie: Maybe the way I grew up led me to see things the way I do? I guess so, everything you go through in life has a purpose and influences what you become in the end.

Daniel: Tell us about the shoot in Brazil Sao Paolo, how was it?

Boogie: It wasn’t ‘a shoot’, I just packed my bags and went there for a week. very intense, I shot in some scary neighborhoods, I published a book after, all good.

Daniel: What was Mexico like, where did you visit?

Boogie: I was in Mexico City with a friend of mine Adrian Wilson … it’s an amazing city, great energy, great people. Al these horror stories they tell you before you go there are bullshit. Although I’ve been in some neighborhoods where I was afraid to shoot even from the car. But you have areas like that wherever you go.

Daniel: I know you’ve visited Cuba, Istanbul, Tokyo in addition, what is it that you learn from these trips?

Boogie: Travels are always great experiences, seeing how other people, other cultures live is priceless. It humbles you in a way, makes you appreciate what you have more.

Daniel: Lots of black and white, lots of flying birds. What is it that you like the most about Black & White?

Boogie: No idea, lately I also shoot a lot of color.

Daniel: Which gallery is your personal favorite?

Boogie: You mean on my website? everything there needs an update …

Ref: bloginity.com

Robert Frank

Influential photographer and filmmaker Robert Frank has died at the age of 94. He died of natural causes on Monday night in Nova Scotia, Canada. His death was confirmed by his longtime friend and gallerist Peter MacGill.

He was best known for his 1959 book The Americans, a collection of black-and-white photographs he took while road-tripping across the country starting in 1955. Frank's images were dark, grainy and free from nostalgia; they showed a country at odds with the optimistic views of prosperity that characterized so much American photography at the time.

His Leica camera captured gay men in New York, factory workers in Detroit and a segregated trolley in New Orleans — sour and defiant white faces in front and the anguished face of a black man in back.

Photographer Robert Frank holds a camera in 1954. His photo book, The Americans, changed the way people saw photography and the way they saw the U.S. Frank died on Monday at the age of 94.

Fred Stein Archive/Getty Images

Influential photographer and filmmaker Robert Frank has died at the age of 94. He died of natural causes on Monday night in Nova Scotia, Canada. His death was confirmed by his longtime friend and gallerist Peter MacGill.

He was best known for his 1959 book The Americans, a collection of black-and-white photographs he took while road-tripping across the country starting in 1955. Frank's images were dark, grainy and free from nostalgia; they showed a country at odds with the optimistic views of prosperity that characterized so much American photography at the time.

His Leica camera captured gay men in New York, factory workers in Detroit and a segregated trolley in New Orleans — sour and defiant white faces in front and the anguished face of a black man in back.

Trolley – New Orleans, 1955.

Robert Frank/National Gallery of Art, Washington, Gift of Maria and Lee Friedlander

The book was savaged — mainstream critics called Frank sloppy and joyless. And Frank remembered the slights.

"The Museum of Modern Art wouldn't even sell the book," he told NPR for a story in 1994. "I mean, certain things, one doesn't forget so easy. But the younger people caught on."

Eventually, the photographs in The Americans became canon, inspiring legions. Photographer Joel Meyerowitz remembered watching Frank at work early on.

"And it was such an unbelievable and powerful experience watching him twisting, turning, bobbing, weaving," Meyerowitz said in 1994. "And every time I heard his Leica go 'click,' I would see the moment freeze in front of Robert."

Restaurant – U.S. 1 leaving Columbia, South Carolina, 1955.

Robert Frank/National Gallery of Art, Washington, Robert Frank Collection, The Robert and Anne Bass Fund

Ginsburg was a friend and photography student of Frank. He also starred in Frank's first film, 1959's Pull My Daisy. It was based on part of an unproduced play by Jack Kerouac and featured the author as narrator.

Pull My Daisy, and the other experimental, autobiographical films Robert Frank made, were his reaction to a restlessness he felt around still photography.

"In still photography, you have to come up with one good picture, maybe two or three," he told NPR in 1988. "But that's only three frames. There's no rhythm. Still photography isn't music. Film is really, in a way, based on a rhythm, like music."

Yet Frank's films shared a lot with his photographs. They were personal; they evoked emotions as much as they told stories. They're like home movies, and he made more than 20 of them before returning to photography. By then, he was a legend, acknowledged as an inspiration by such noted artists as Ed Ruscha, Lee Friedlander and Garry Winogrand.

What comes through in all of Frank's work is his ability to catch a moment. And that came from truly looking.

"Like a boxer trains for a fight, a photographer, by walking the streets, and watching, and taking pictures, and coming home, and going out the next day — same thing again, taking pictures," Frank said in 2009. "It doesn't matter how many he takes, or if he takes any at all. It gets you prepared to know what you should take pictures of.

_______________________________________________________________________

(2)  Weegee (1899 - 1968)

Biography

Weegee, born Usher Fellig on June 12, 1899 in the town of Lemburg (now in Ukraine), first worked as a photographer at age fourteen, three years after his family immigrated to the United States, where his first name was changed to the more American-sounding Arthur. Self-taught, he held many other photography-related jobs before gaining regular employment at a photography studio in lower Manhattan in 1918. This job led him to others at a variety of newspapers until, in 1935, he became a freelance news photographer. He centered his practice around police headquarters and in 1938 obtained permission to install a police radio in his car. This allowed him to take the first and most sensational photographs of news events and offer them for sale to publications such as the Herald-Tribune, Daily News, Post, the Sun, and PM Weekly, among others. During the 1940s, Weegee's photographs appeared outside the mainstream press and met success there as well. New York's Photo League held an exhibition of his work in 1941, and the Museum of Modern Art began collecting his work and exhibited it in 1943. Weegee published his photographs in several books, including Naked City (1945), Weegee's People (1946), and Naked Hollywood (1953). After moving to Hollywood in 1947, he devoted most of his energy to making 16-millimeter films and photographs for his "Distortions" series, a project that resulted in experimental portraits of celebrities and political figures. He returned to New York in 1952 and lectured and wrote about photography until his death on December 26, 1968.

Weegee's photographic oeuvre is unusual in that it was successful in the popular media and respected by the fine-art community during his lifetime. His photographs' ability to navigate between these two realms comes from the strong emotional connection forged between the viewer and the characters in his photographs, as well as from Weegee's skill at choosing the most telling and significant moments of the events he photographed. ICP's retrospective exhibition of his work in 1998 attested to Weegee's continued popularity; his work is frequently recollected or represented in contemporary television, film, and other forms of popular entertainment

[strangerhuas-blog]

baby take my hand, tighten this romance.

indiana, Aug. 1985

"well, you said it'd take only thirty minutes, and i'm still sitting on this crappy seat! my ass is slowly losing its roundness!" billy sighs, stretching his back. "you act all grown up but, actually, you're such a gutless baby boy, aren't you? 'my ass is losing its roundness'...oh my god, that's SUCH a funny statement man, I can't" dustin smirks, showing his teeth. "uhh shut your mouth kid, or i'll make those teeth you're missing grow back personally;" "GUYS! guys. I can't focus on the road with you two arguing over... how much of a wimp billy is..."

steve starts laughing, letting his sunglasses slip off his sweaty nose. Billy stares at him fake angrily, while his heart melts by seeing his boy being happy. "do you all have a problem with me?" billy says, using his Im-Done-With-You look. "we don't, we don't! actually, you're the manliest man i've ever had the pleasure to meet" steve smiles at him, while dustin burst into laughter in the backseat. billy, unexpectedly, smiles back and squeezes his thigh. they just stare at each other for a while, while 'forever young' by Alphaville plays softly from steve's car radio. Dustin  coughs, breaking the stare game. "Steve, are we there yet? but, most importantly, where the heck are we going? i'm unbelievably tired" billy nods his head yes, agreeing with the kid. "as I said before, surprise kids! take a nap or just listen to this (actually pretty good) radio station" billy growls "screw you, harrington" and closes his eyes, falling asleep a bunch of minutes later with his arms crossed on his chest. the last traces of the shimmering kiss his pouty, reddish lips and turn his dark blonde hair into pure gold. steve looks at his sleepy face and almost cries. he still can't believe that an attentive and loyal and pure human being like billy had to deal with such a shitty life. in that exact moment, steve realizes what his purpose in billy's life his: showing him what being happy means.

"WE FINALLY ARRIVED! I COULDN'T STAND BEING IN THAT CAR WITH THAT BOAR AND HIS SNORING ANY LONGER!" Dustin gets off steve's car, kissing the ground and thanking jesus. "you're getting a little too comfortable, kiddo. You'll be punched in the face really soon, mind my words"  billy walks out, scratching his eye a little. "will you two EVER stop?" steve slams the car door, hands on his hips. "that fifth grade kid is putting me on blast, man! what am I supposed to do?" billy shouts. "I'M TWELVE, YOU TWAT" "I thought kindergarten students weren't able to talk yet?" steve shakes his head, obviously laughing.

The neon sign (wich was glowing) was a pair of green rollerblades going up and down on the top of this big building. the curly haired kid screamed like an 8-years-old schoolgirl, almost falling on his face because of his running.

"did we really had to take him?" billy rolls his eyes to steve.

"his mum was busy and mike is on vacation, if I had left him home alone i'd have felt guilty for the rest of my life, billy."

as they get closer to the building, something inside billy's chest intensifies.

then, the long haired boy remembers.

"you can do it, little boy! the whole world is at your feet, my baby!" a young, red-haired lady with a gorgeous smile was leading her arms to a five-year-old kid with blonde, curly hair.

"it's so simple! all of your cousins did it, so it'll be a piece of cake for you! just breathe in and go slow." the kid bites his bottom lip and starts skating, step by step. it only lasts ten seconds, but the woman almost cries of joy. "you did it, lil' man! you SWOOPED the scene!" they both start laughing, while hugging each other.

"karoline? is william with you? are you both in the yard?" neil hargrove was shouting at his wife from the dining room. Karoline's smile got off. "okay, you won. now let's take these off before dad finds out what you and me were doing, ok?"

"KAROLINE? WHY IS MY SON DRESSED UP LIKE SOME WEIRD FAGGOT !? TAKE THAT OFF! JESUS CHRIST!"

"neil, we were just playing." the lady stood up, as cold as ice.

" I don't care about what you were doing with those things, I don't want my firstborn to grow up thinking all of this.... pink, and ROLLERBLADES?, and this....oh man, this will surely turn him gay! you see what you're doing here? you're ruining him!" neil starts screaming. Billy can clearly hear the disappointment in his words, even though he doesn't get the meaning of what he's saying yet.

"jesus, neil, it's just a game," suddenly, the sound of a slap. silence. Neil's left hand starts shaking. Karoline grabs her flushed cheek. a silent tear flows down her nose. the man looks directly at the lady's blue eyes. "I did it because I love you, Karoline. I love you and I care about william's future" neil tried to reach her shoulder. "don't fucking touch me, neil." karoline said, while shaking from her head to toes. Billy sat in the corner of their yard, counting a ladybug's dots. he didn't know what love was, but he was pretty sure his dad didn't do that because of love.

later that night, he saw his mom crying under her bedsheets.

"mom? is you ok?"

"yes billy, mom's fine. it's bedtime now, go to sleep." she faked a smile and billy knew damn well it was fake because he could recognize his mom's true smile, with dimples and rosy cheeks.

was it his fault?

was he the cause of his dad's anger and his mom's sadness?

"steve."

the brown eyed boy turns back at him.

"what?"

"I don't want to get in."

"okay, now you're the biggest coward i've ever met. there's only a bunch of middle schoolers tonight, two old ladies, maybe. no one could hurt you even if they wanted to, billy."

" you don't fucking get it, don't you? I don't want to fucking get in and fucking wear rollerblades like some fag-"

"billy, you're shaking."

steve never saw him looking this fragile, maybe once a while ago.

billy needed him to get calmed but steve didn't know what to do at all.

so he just grabbed his right hand.

it fitted perfectly.

steve's calm, gentle grip somehow reminded billy of his mom's, they were almost identical.

"I am not your dad, billy. you can trust me as much as you can trust yourself." the grip intensified.

"i'm not here to deceive you and neither hurt you, I never was and i'll never be" and as much as it sounded fake, it truly was true.

"look at me Steve! I didn't know I was good at skating!" dustin shouted, flexing his arm while doing a spin.

"and I didn't know I had a champion as a son! you're amazing, you surely didn't get that from me!"

"i'm not even your son, stop that" dustin answered. (but he was smiling, so he wasn't that offended, after all.)

"this is so. fucking. sketchy." billy said, while holding steve's arm.

"I told you steve, I told you" dustin whispered.

"what did you tell me?" steve replied, playing his game.

"THAT BILLY WAS A FUCKING SCAREDY CAT!"

they both fell down, laughing like crazy.

"okay, jackasses. I can do it on my own, thank you very much." billy said, trying to skate on his own.

turned out he was pretty good at skating, but not at doing double flips.

"did your butt lose its roundness already?" dustin said (while cackling) after billy's umpteenth fall.

"I don't know really.... but steve could check for me" billy winked at steve, who got as red as a lobster, and Dustin, for the first time, high fived his "buddie" billy.

HELLO! soo, what do yall think? I apologize in advance for my quite bad english grammar, I'm aware of my skills and i'm really sorry if something just isn't fluid/is wrong. I tried to represent how billy/harringrove looks like in my pov in this scenario, that I also like quite a lot! (I love 80's skating dates ARGH) i'm sorry if the emotional/physical ab*se scene was offensive, it wasn't my main target! I just imagined that something like that was a daily habit in the hargroves'cali house (we all know how much of a rathole neil hargrove is) :(. I might write some of these bad bois again very soon if I get a positive response by the harringrove fandom, who knows👀 i'm also here for small prompts if you have any ideas! let me know what yalls thoughts were, luv ya <3

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Desperate Times-Lip Gallagher Imagine

Requested: No

Warnings: mentions of drug use, alcohol abuse, angst, swearing, and some fluff

   So far, Y/N had had a pretty decent day: her boss at her internship for Chicago Times complimented her proof reading for an article, she got free coffee from the Starbucks near work, and her mom made Y/N’s favorite dish y/f/d for dinner that night. Even her dream was unbelievably amazing since it involved a certain, hot male celebrity and rolling around on a Caribbean beach. However, Y/N was forced to come back to reality when the sound of crashing glass alerted her. Immediately, she jerked up in her bed, feeling pretty disoriented. Then, there were footsteps and Y/N got extremely nervous.

    Y/N didn’t live in the best neighborhood so she was pretty sure that the intruder was holding some sort of weapon and was dangerous. Unfortunately, her parents were the heaviest sleepers known to man so they wouldn’t be any help. So, Y/N grabbed the bat that she kept underneath her bed for emergencies and tried not to shake too much as she climbed out of bed and slipped out the door. Her footsteps were quiet as she listened for anymore noise. The only sound that came from downstairs was broken glass crunching as the intruder stumbled around.

     “Y/N…Y/N!” Lip yelled.

     “Lip?” Y/N whispered.

     She lowered her bat to her side and frowned. She hadn’t seen Lip since high school and she thought he had been doing well. However, Y/N couldn’t have been more wrong. Y/N stood on top of the staircase and what she saw made her heartbreak: there, stumbling towards the staircase was Lip Gallagher, an extremely intoxicated Lip Gallagher. His eyes were blood shot and he had no sort of balance. When he saw her, he smiled a little and leaned against the staircase.

        “There you are,” he said.

        “What are you doing here? Why did you break into my house?” Y/N hissed. 

        “I wanted to see you,” Lip said, his eyes roaming over her body. “You look good.”

         Y/N folded her arms across her chest, feeling her y/s/c cheeks warming up at his words. She had known the Gallaghers since she was eight years-old, but was closest to Lip. His quick wit and genius made him interesting to talk to and the fact that he was good with words added to his attraction. Also, he was extremely good to look at. However, it wasn’t his sharp intellect that had Y/N crushing on him for so long but rather the darker side of him, the side that made him steal money and do many illegal odd jobs. It was with darker side of him that drew her in and took her to a very scary place in her life—-a place that she never wanted to go to again.

         Lip began trying to walk towards her but tripped over one of the stairs and fell pretty hard. He muttered curses under his tongue, but Y/N moved to immediately help him up. She wrapped her arms around his waist and helped him to his feet. Lazily, he leaned his head back to look up at her and smirk.

         “You’re so lucky my family’s too broke to have a security system or you’d be in jail by now,” Y/N whispered.

        “You’d never snitch on me,” he said with a laugh.

        “Be quiet. I’m gonna be nice and let you stay over but you have to go by morning.”

       “Bout time we spent the night together anyway.”

       Y/N rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering around in the pit of her stomach as she helped Lip walk up the stairs. She thought that she was over her crush on Lip that she never admitted to him, but old habits were supposed to die hard. 

        She managed to sit him down on her bed before she started making a pallet of blankets for him on the floor next to her bed. 

        “I have no idea how I’m going to explain the broken window to my parents but I guess I’ll think of something,” Y/N said as she stood.

        “Why can’t I sleep in the bed with you?” he whined.

        “Because you’ve been bad.”

        “So are you punishing me?” A sly grin worked its way onto Lip’s face and Y/N shook her head.

       “Just lay down on the pallet and go to sleep while I clean up.” She started to walk past him but Lip grabbed her wrist and pulled her close so that she was standing between his legs.

        “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

       “It’s a window, Lip, my family and I will figure out a way to pay for it.”

       “No, not that, I’m sorry that I got you in a load of sh-t. I…I shouldn’t have let you have that coke,” Lip slurred. “It’s my fault, all of this is my fault.”         “Go lay down, Lip,” Y/N whispered back.

        Even though every fiber of her being was asking Y/N to stay exactly where she was, she pulled away and went downstairs to start cleaning up the glass. As she swept, her mind drifted back to that particularly low point of her life that Lip had just apologized for. In spite of all the therapy Y/N had gone through, she had a bad habit of repressing memories that she didn’t enjoy and avoiding people that she thought triggered her. Lip managed to fall into both of those categories. Sure, he had offered her coke during a party in their freshman year of high school and she had taken it, but neither of them could’ve guessed that she would get hooked the way she did. Y/N could still feel the gravel digging into her knees when Tyler forced her down to them when she was short on money and she could feel her veins in her arms begin to itch with withdrawal.

       “Stop it, that was the past and this is the present,” Y/N whispered to herself. “You have changed, you don’t need anything to take the edge off, you’re healthy and you are doing well.”

     After fifteen minutes, Y/N managed to clean up all the glass that Lip broke when he broke into her house and prayed that a real intruder wouldn’t take advantage of the broken window. When she got back to her room, Lip was passed out on the floor. He looked so sad and troubled that Y/N could’ve cried. She knelt down and draped a blanket over him before crawling back into her own bed. Unfortunately, her dream did not pick up where it left off since all she dreamt of that night was a dark void.

      The next morning, Lip stumbled down the staircase and froze when he saw Y/N eating dinner in her kitchen. She was dressed for an office and seemed fairly perky.

      “Good morning, Lip,” Y/N said.

       “Morning.” Lip glanced at the broken window. “Sh-t, I’m guessing I did that.”

      “No, the intruder I scared off last night did. My dad’s filing an insurance claim so we don’t have to pay for it.”

      “Huh.” Lip scratched the back of his head and walked over to her. “I’m sorry if I said anything stupid but I had a pretty f-cking bad day yesterday and I had a few too many drinks.”

      “That’s pretty normal except most people refrain themselves from breaking into old friends’ houses and scaring them half to death.”

       “I said I was sorry.”

      “Yeah, I know.” Y/N ran a hand through her hair. “Do you remember anything from last night?”

       “Not after I left the bar.”

       “Well, after I found you stumbling around in my living room, you told me that you were sorry for…for what happened back in high school.”

        Lip hesitated and looked at his hands. “Yeah?”

        “I know that we’ve drifted apart over the last couple of years, but I never got to tell you that I forgive you for what happened. We were good friends at one time and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it.” Y/N tightened her grip around her cup of coffee. “I was in rehab for two years and I had to do therapy as well. They helped me come to terms with my addiction and the underlying causes of it. Basically, it was a coping mechanism but while most people learn to cope with stress via religion, exercise, or a sport, drugs were my way of coping. Whenever I was upset or under distress, I’d do a line and it made things seem less bad, but then I…I almost got hit by a bus because I was too high to notice that the walking light hadn’t gone on.”

       “Why are you telling me all of this?”

       “Because I want you to know that I forgive you and I’m doing okay now. I got my GED and got into Northwestern on a scholarship. Not everything is your fault, Lip, I had an idea of what I was getting into when I accepted your offer. My addiction was my problem and I caused it, but I’m doing better now.” Y/N glanced at her watch. “I have to head to my internship soon, but if you ever want to talk about anything going on with you, my number hasn’t changed.”

        “Thanks.” 

         Y/N washed her dishes and grabbed her purse before walking out of her house with Lip. She felt a bit of a weight being lifted off her shoulders as she locked the door behind the two of them. Closure certainly was a beautiful thing.

        “Besides that whole apology thing, did I do anything else last night?” Lip asked.

         “Um, you were a bit of a flirt but that’s normal with most drunk guys, right?”

         “Yeah, I guess.”

          They started down the front steps and Lip insisted on walking Y/N to the nearby L. It was a pretty warm day since it was summer in Chicago, but Y/N still had to wear a stupid long-sleeve button down and a pencil skirt to work.

         “Wanna hear something funny?”

         “I’d kill for funny right now.” 

         Lip chuckled a little bit. “Ian thought you had a thing for me.”

        “When?”

        “Middle school and high school and I told him that guys don’t have to be gay to have straight girl friends.”

         “Course not. You didn’t have to walk me to the L, you know, I can take care of myself.”

          “C’mon, Y/N, you used to make me walk you all the way home from school because you thought you’d get jumped if you walked alone.”

         “I’m older now, I’ve changed and so have you.”

         “I highly doubt that.”

         “Fine, I’ll remember that for the next time you ask me to be your fake girlfriend to get some hoe off your back,” Y/N teased.

         “That’s not fair.”

         Y/N laughed at Lip’s whining and shook her head. It felt like old times except there wasn’t a Karen or Mandy hanging around as well. Mandy and Y/N got along just fine, but it was Karen who almost fought Y/N because she knew how Y/N felt about Lip. She would flaunt the fact that Lip was really into her in front of Y/N that would have the young girl crying herself to sleep sometimes. Y/N was sure Mandy knew too but she was nice enough not to say anything. In fact, Y/N was surprised that Lip didn’t know that she had had a crush on him for most of their friendship.

         Finally, they got to the L and Y/N paused. “Well, this is me.”

        “Yeah, have fun interning.”

        “Wait, I never asked you what you were doing.”

         “I’m working for my sister over at Patsy’s Pies. You should stop by sometime, I might slip you a free slice.”

         “Will Fiona like that?”

         “She won’t know about it.”

          Y/N shook her head and started walking up the stairs for the L. “See you around, Gallagher!”

        “Not so loud, I’m hung over,” Lip joked back.

         When Y/N got to the platform for the L she knew one thing was for certain: she was not over Lip Gallagher, not one little bit. 

[min--yoonqi]

IwaOi Week 2017 - Charm/Song-Inspired

Name: We’re No Strangers to Love Platform: AO3 // read it here. Author: tetsubruh Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Archive Warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Haikyuu!! Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio Characters: Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro, Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou, Kageyama Tobio Additional Tags: Memes, Oneshot, Songfic, (kinda), oh my god why did i write this, iwaizumi is so done, Oikawa Tooru is a Nerd, a meme-y nerd, that is, Matsukawa is !!!, Hanamaki is flattered, Iwaoi Week 2017Background Relationships, rick astley - Freeform, never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, Singer Oikawa Tooru, Alternate Universe - Music, Model Iwaizumi Hajime, Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, Song-inspired, Fluff Word Count: 1504 Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi are engaged. Oikawa is the lead singer for Seijoh, Matsukawa is the guitarist, Hanamaki is the drummer. Iwaizumi is a model from Aoba Johsai, Kageyama and Hinata are singers for  The Fallen Crows. Oikawa wants to do something for his lovely fiance.Shit ensues. [ bad summary whoops ]Oikawa and Iwaizumi are engaged. Oikawa is the lead singer for Seijoh, Matsukawa is the guitarist, Hanamaki is the drummer. Iwaizumi is a model from Aoba Johsai, Kageyama and Hinata are singers for  The Fallen Crows. Oikawa wants to do something for his lovely fiance.Shit ensues. [ bad summary whoops ] The Actual Story: Oikawa was getting ready for this gig. People were loud and already screaming and he hasn't even come out on stage yet. Hanamaki and Matsukawa, drummer and guitarist, were already ready and were pumped to do this. They had planned something that somebody might hate or love. After all, Iwaizumi Hajime was pretty fast at deciding whether he loved a thing or loathed it. Tooru wasn't entirely sure, though. Will he have a love-hate relationship with what he'll do tonight?

Iwaizumi just proposed yesterday, obviously, Oikawa had to do something for him.

His long fingers glided along his mousse-brown curls, his hazel eyes glistening and determined. He looked at himself and recited the lyrics. Tooru fixed his shirt and even fixed his makeup. He wasn't even on stage yet, but his makeup had to be perfect. Everything had to be perfect. Above all, it was a really special day.

The brown-eyed boy turned his head to the two members. "Hey, guys, you done warming up?" the two of them nodded. Matsukawa held his electric guitar, Hanamaki was tapping excitedly with his drum sticks. They were pretty stoked about this thing, too. They thought it was absolutely genius.

"Model boy is going to enjoy this." Hanamaki's usual devious grin spread across his lips. "He will." Mattsun agreed, nodding and tuning his guitar.

Oikawa looked down. "Is he really, though?" he was a bit uncomfortable. "I mean, the lyrics fit so well, but - "

"Trust me, Tooru, it'll be fine."

"If he dumps you for this I swear -"

"God, I hope not."

"Right."

The singer smiled at both of them, they were such supportive friends, he thanked them for that.

Kageyama practically shrieked.

"You could've told me!" he screamed, his voice echoed through out the room. Iwaizumi Hajime was going with two dorks, Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio, to one of his fiance's concert. Hinata flinched at the voice and the younger boy muttered a small 'sorry'.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes all the way to Saturn. "Ugh, seriously? Just please, calm down."

"I will not calm down-" Kageyama was cut off mid-reply. "Why not?" the older boy challenged, looking at him with a deadly glare. Kageyama looked at the model with an incredulous look.

He shook his head. "You could've told me that your fiance was the lead singer for Seijoh, Oikawa fucking Tooru! Nicknamed 'The Great King of Pop-Rock'! Christ! You know that we were in the same band!" he shouted again, Hinata flinched once more.

"So? I'm the Ace of Modern Modelling. Don't you consider me special? And the past is past." he fake-pouted and curled his lips into a sly smile. "Besides, he's a chill guy. The concert - "

"- costs so much! Where the fuck did you get the money from?" the blue-eyed boy sighed. "Do you really think being The Great King's fiance doesn't have advantages?"

Oh.

Kageyama looked at him with a dead look in his eyes.

"Of course, of course,"

Hinata decided to speak up. "It'll be fun, Yama-yama-kun," he mused. Kageyama was a bit flustered, he usually was when Hinata called him that.

"Ah, young love."

"You're two years older, two,"

"So?" he said, mimicking his tone from five minutes ago.

"I'll slaughter you, I swear."

"Mhm, sure, Yama-yama-kun."

"Iwaizumi!"

Oikawa was finally done with his second song and now he's interacting with his fans.

He spotted Iwaizumi and Co. a few minutes ago, waving at them. The other black-haired guy he was with was Kageyama Tobio, an old member from their old band Kitagawa Daiichi. He left the band for good when he found out about The Fallen Crows. They were a pretty good band, to be honest. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were doing their usual comedy gimmicks and other things that their female fans tend to enjoy.

"B-But, Makki-" he was cut off by many screams.

"Oh my God, Makki!"

"That's the nickname we gave Hanamaki! Oh!"

"MatsuHana is canon!"

Matsukawa chuckled. "MatsuHana is not canon, people!" he denied.

Yeah, denied. It was overwhelmingly obvious that both of them were dating. They couldn't keep their hands to themselves when they were performing or not, there are several compilations on YouTube named "MatsuHana Moments" and it's the best thing. Oikawa, on the other hand, had a lot of fangirls who think that he has a girlfriend/boyfriend, but... he has a fiance.

Oh, that word sounds so good rolling off his tongue.

"Okay guys, calm down! The Grand King of Pop Rock has an announcement!" Several screams echoed through out the large arena. He had been teasing them in various social media about this "announcement".

The brown-eyed vocalist stepped up and looked at his fans' eyes, eager.

"So, like... I'm kinda... engaged to someone."

Screaming.

Lots of screaming.

"Kageyama Tobio?!"

"Daichi Sawamura from The Fallen Crows?!"

"It's Sugawara from The Fallen Crows!"

"No, no, none of those people. Yes, I do communicate with them, but-" he smiled brightly. "It's somebody that you see in billboards, he's a hottie, a keeper, and God those arms." he mused, his fans were taken aback.

"No way, it's him."

"Him?! NO WAY! THEY'VE BEEN HANGING OUT A LOT, SO-"

"Yes, it's him."

He chuckled. "Yep, it's him. The Ace of Modern Modelling, Iwaizumi Hajime!"

Lots of screaming, part 2.

"CALLED IT!"

"OH, THEY'RE PERFECT!"

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!"

"He's in the audience right now, but he's hidden. So..." he winked. "Find him if you can."

Oikawa drank some of his water, hearing his fans' supportive shouts and such made him super calm, he was quite nervous when he thought about announcing it. Well, his fans knew he was gay, but announcing engagement, he couldn't help but think that he disappointed some people. He might've, anyways. But, he loved Iwaizumi a lot.

"WE FOUND HIM! GUYS, GRAB A MIC!"

"OH, HE HAS A MIC."

"Iwa-chan, hi!" he waved at his fiance, who was beet red, holding a mic.

He rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Shittykawa." he murmured and dropped the microphone.

"Mean, Iwa-chan!"

"OH HE'S A TSUNDERE!"

"A TSUNDERE!"

"IWA-CHAN, GOD, SPARE ME!"

Oikawa burst into laughter, this was so much more fun that he had imagined. He thought the audience would go all quiet on him, or something.

It's cool, right? Your fans supporting you and listening to your own voice, singing wonderful lyrics that meant a lot to you. That's why Tooru loves singing, that's why he loved music. That's also why he loved Iwaizumi.

The music his body makes when he poses, dances, or moves. What Tooru saw was pure art, music, movement. And he adored that.

"Then Iwa-chan-" Oikawa was cut off by Iwaizumi picking up the mic he dropped. "Shittykawa!" he threatened. The mousse-haired vocalist just ignored him and did a little peace sign. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and reddened.

"Since I love him so, so much-" "Oh god..." "- I dedicate this song to him, hit it, Mattsun, Makki!"

Dun, dun, dun, dun...

No way.

No fucking way.

Kageyama and Hinata instantly recognized the beat, laughing their asses off. "Man, I love Oikawa-san!" Hinata mused, looking at Iwaizumi, who was frozen.

Everyday, I suffer from Mattsun and Makki's memes.

Key word, everyday.

"We're no strangers to love..." Oikawa sang, his eyes glistening with fun and laughter. That was good, but-

He's going to kill him.

Tooru smirked, looking at his fans, who were laughing and shouting 'We just got rick-rolled!' multiple times. There was this one fan, though, who was cussing a lot, she probably hated this meme, but Iwaizumi could tell that she was having fun.

He even memorized the choreography, how Rick Astley danced, oh man, the microphone's even identical! I'm gonna kill him!

"I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand- 1, 2, 3 sing it!"

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!"

Hajime was light-headed, he couldn't believe this idiot. He literally sang this song - this meme - for him? God, the lyrics were heartwarming. But, knowing that this was a godforsaken meme. It was funny, hilarious.

God, I'm gonna kill him.

I love him, so much.

He ran, people gave him the space, obviously.

"Excuse me-" "Hajime-senpai!" "- yes, excuse me."

He finally reached the stage and looked up at Oikawa, who looked smug. The vocalist looked down and spotted Hajime.

Oikawa offered his hand, and Iwaizumi gladly took it.

"Iwaizumi Hajime everybody!"

"I can't believe you." Iwaizumi breathed out, a slight smile on his lips. Oikawa let go of the kiss and hugged him tight.

"Well, I'm unbelievable and unpredictable."

"Exactly, that's why I love you."

Silence.

"Iwa-chan."

"Yeah?" he looked at Oikawa's sparkling, brown eyes. Tears started to form, oh no.

"Why are you crying?"

"I love you,"

"Dork, I love you too."

"I'm never gonna give you up-" "Enough."

They spent the rest of the night with kisses and cuddles, Iwaizumi blurting out reasons on why he loved Oikawa so much, resulting into Tooru lightly bullying him.

Tooru was serious though, he was never gonna give him up. Never.

[marysocontrary1]

Supergirl: Katie McGrath Is in Love With 'Badass' Lena Luthor — Aren't You?

By Matt Webb Mitovich / April 11 2017, 11:20 AM PDT

“So, so sorry to keep you waiting! But there were puppies.”

Supergirl’s Katie McGrath comes shuffling around the corner toward her setside trailer, having just made some furry friends over in hair-and-makeup. For someone so enigmatic both on-screen (Is Lena so different from brother Lex?) and off (Why doesn’t she have a birth date?), the Irish actress is wonderfully warm and welcoming, veritably champing at the bit to give her first in-depth interview since making her debut on the CW series last fall.

McGrath led TVLine on a quick iPhone tour of the puppies she just played with (peppered with some commentary on canine couture), before sitting for a cozy Q&A. Weeks afterward, she would earn a promotion to series regular for Season 3 — news she surely reveled in, given her girl crush on Miss Luthor, detailed below.

TVLINE | First of all, tell me what you’re shooting today. What am I shooting today? We are on [Episode] 218, so it’s a storyline with Rahul [Kohli], from iZombie. He plays Jack Spheer, who is a love interest for moi.

TVLINE | Jack is Lena’s ex, though, right? Yeah, but if there’s an ex, there’s still [with a flourish of the hand] frisson there, you know? We were together for a while. I feel very privileged that they thought enough of my character to give me a hot man to play with for an episode (airing Monday, April 24, when Season 2 resumes).

TVLINE | It sounds like a big episode for you. It is, actually. What’s nice about it is you’re getting quite a bit of backstory for me as a character. You haven’t really seen storylines for Lena outside of her being a Luthor and all the stories to do with her family…

TVLINE | It always seems to come back to her mom. Exactly. Or her brother… all of that kind of stuff. And this is separate to that, which is nice. It gives you more of an insight of her as an individual rather than her as part of her family.

TVLINE | But as Lena reconnects with Jack, Kara (played by Melissa Benoist) gets to investigating one of them…? There is the release of some new technology that to Kara seems a bit suspect and seems to be connected to a few dastardly dealings going on. She’s attempting to investigate it, on one hand, because journalistically she thinks that it’s interesting. And then on the other hand, she’s investigating it because she’s worried about me as her friend. So, there’s both of those going on.

TVLINE | So, you think Lena and Kara are friends at this point? They’re like bezzie mates.

TVLINE | Yeah? Yeah! Yeah! See, everybody’s got this idea that…. It’s always hard when you’re playing a character that everybody thinks is going to go one direction. They’re convinced she’s going to go down the road of Lex—

TVLINE | I’m not. But the two of them have bumped heads a bit. No, but they bump heads like anyone. Don’t you ever bump heads with your friends? But they always come back to, you know, a place of mutual respect of each other.

TVLINE | What might Kara’s investigation do to that dynamic? I can’t give away the ending. [Laughs] But ultimately, we’ve spent 18 episodes over the season building a friendship between the two of them, and it’s not going to be able to be destroyed in one episode. That’s one of the things I’m most proud of actually on this show, and I didn’t think that’s where it was going to go, because when I came in, I only came in for a few episodes. And [the friendship] has slowly and very realistically, I think, built up over this season. We’ve all put a lot of work into it and I’m glad that they’re taking the time to get there, and keeping it.

TVLINE | You were talking about how everything always loops back to Lena’s mom or the whole Luthor thing, but is there a bigger picture to ultimately be revealed? Might Lena have a scheme of her own percolating that we’re completely oblivious to thus far? I don’t think so…. I think Lena is a very genuine person. What you see is what you get with her. She is honestly trying to do the best she can, and she is honestly a good person. That’s not to say that other people don’t use her for ills, because she’s the head of this company, she has all of these other relationships that people can manipulate — like her mother — and get her into these situations that…. A normal person isn’t going to be b put in jail by, you know, Cadmus with giant green ray guns! It doesn’t happen to people that are not a Luthor, but it’s how Lena reacts to it differently than the rest of her family which makes her interesting to play. You think she’s going to “be a Luthor” about something, but then she turns around and completely surprises you, which I guess is what makes her an interesting character to watch — and definitely an interesting character to play.

TVLINE | So, at the end of the season finale she’s not going to let out a maniacal cackle and say, “At long last, Project Leviathan can be unleashed!”? You know, she might! I haven’t read the end of the [season], so anything is possible. [Laughs] She could decide to move to a giant moon made of cheese. I mean, at this point, who knows!

TVLINE | Who have you been working with lately besides Melissa? Besides Melissa? I’ve been working with Rahul. I have been working with Brenda [Strong], my mom, who is just so delicious.

TVLINE | And tall. [Nods] God. I swear. But just, like, perfectly, elegantly in proportion. [Sweeping her hand from head to toe] She’s like a dancer. It’s unbelievable. I then rock up like an Irish potato going, “This is great. I am so not your child.”

TVLINE | Have you worked with Jeremy Jordan lately? You two have had a couple of fun scenes. I haven’t worked with him since our little meeting underneath the stage. It’s funny because I seem to play these characters, generally, that are separate from the main storyline. So most of my stuff actually is just with Melissa, which is really nice, and it always tends to be real character stuff…. Us sitting down talking about things that are important…

TVLINE | And it always passes the Bechdel Test. Yes! Exactly. It does. It’s proper scenes between two women, do you know what I mean? And it’s rare, generally, that you get to do that on TV. I think that’s why the relationship resonates with so many people — and it’s definitely why I love to play it.

TVLINE | Speaking of the Lena/Kara relationship, what do you think about the whole “Supercorp” thing? You’re not out there on Twitter…. I’m not on Twitter, no. But I’ve had people tell me about it.

TVLINE | How does a person who’s not on Twitter hear about it? Well, Melissa will tell me, or anybody else on set. My brother mentioned it a few times.

TVLINE | Do you remember the first time you heard the term, or who from? Who did I hear it from…? I couldn’t even tell you…. I think it was Melissa, actually, who first told me. I’ve played quite a few characters that have either been gay or they’ve had, you know, some very obvious gay undertones, and to be completely honest, this was the first time I was like, “Well, this role doesn’t have any!” You’re laughing now — how naive was I? And then after the first episode… I go back and I watch and I was like, “Oh, yeah, now I can see it. That makes sense to me.”

TVLINE | On Buffy’s anniversary, I read an interview where Joss Whedon talked about people who would see lesbian subtext between his female characters and he at first was like, “What are you talking about?” But once he looked for it, he was like, “Ohhhh, yeah.” It’s funny because sometimes it’s so obvious when you’re playing it. You read it and you’ve got the characters and you’re like, “Oh, yeah, I know this is going to happen.” And then there are other times… and [with Lena/Kara] honestly, it just didn’t even enter into my head. But then you get the response and you go back and you’re like, “Yeah, I can see where that came from.” It doesn’t bother me at all. I think it’s great, because what really makes me feel good is that they can see the characters are working on more than one level. Do you know what I mean? It’s not just what we put into it. It’s what the writers put in, and the directors, and then what people can take from it. It means that the characters we’re playing are not just one dimension, they work on so many levels.

TVLINE | You’re stirring people’s imaginations. You want to do that with a character. Exactly. Of course, it makes you feel really good to know that what you’re doing is quality.

TVLINE | What’s your dream casting for Lex? If Katie McGrath could grab anybody to play Lex for one episode…. One episode? Bruce Willis, the most amazingly, good-looking, bald man there ever is.

TVLINE | I just saw him at the end of M. Night Shyamalan’s Split. Right? Was he delicious? He’s delicious. He’d be a good Lex.

TVLINE | If you could give Lena one piece of advice, what would it be? “Keep doin’ what you’re doin’. Don’t stop. Don’t second guess yourself.” She’s honest, she’s true to Kara, she’s true to her friends, she’s doing her best…. She’s trying, in the face of all the things people keep throwing at her, and all the expectations that people have, and she’s defying them.

TVLINE | You’re in love with Lena. [Cocking an eyebrow] Wouldn’t you be…?

TVLINE | [Stammering, some blushing] [Laughs] There is only one answer to that, and that is, “Yes, Lena’s a badass.”

http://tvline.com/2017/04/11/supergirl-season-2-interview-katie-mcgrath-lena-luthor/