#I’m so mentally ill about him guys
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The Falling Star
(congrats on the win, Scar!)
Scar is, to me, reminiscent of a falling star. Once among his fellow stars in the night sky, he is now all alone, pulled down by a gravity he cannot resist and taken on a destructive course, against his will. And then, right before impact, maybe he’ll no longer be alone. For those fleeting seconds, the falling star will once again have company, right before he crashes into it and leaves only death and old memories in his wake.
#I’m so proud of this one#I’m also so proud of Scar! he did it!#btw friendly reminder that the whole fandom doesn’t have to agree on one celestial body for the winners :)#diversity of opinions is a good thing!#I’m so mentally ill about him guys#anyway tag time!#art#mcyt#digital art#trafficblr#life series#traffic smp fanart#my art#secret life#secret life fanart#mcytblr#slsmp#slsmp fanart#goodtimewithscar fanart#goodtimeswithscar#life series fanart#mcyt fanart#gtws fanart#gtws
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Simon/IK doodle collection
#polly draws#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#Simon Petrikov#ice king#finn mertens#gunther#sorry guys. I’m also really mentally ill about the greatest sad dad of all time#he’s a pathetic wet cat. I love him so much
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techno and his relationship to dehumanization is SOOO important to me .
#All of my fics are about this. Yes even the superhero ones.#“All of my fics” as if I have more than 3 .#I’m including wips in that. .#Okk. .#So like 4 fics actually.#Like secunit!technoblade is OBVIOUS. He was created to be a weapon and finds it deeply uncomfortable being HUMANIZED.#Because the trappings of human life are foreign and novel to him .#Secunit!techno is to historians what palaeontologists are to anthropologists.#I don’t know if thst makes sense.#but the hunger games one is ALSO about dehumanization. OBVIOUSLY. but jts a different flavour . Technoblade is a person.#Hes so completely human that its almost painful.#But his mental illness and the things his society has made him do have made the people around him think him a monster.#No matter who he used to be when he could hide his hallucinations and paranoia. No matter how many people he helped. It wasn’t enough.#Something important to me about techno is that hes always seen himself as an outsider to humanity.#Whether it be Hybrid-whatever technoblade or piglin technoblade or completely human streetrat technoblade.#What often is defined as What Makes Us Human is neither afforded to him nor expected from him.#I’m actually always thinking about the hungergames au. Actually. I want to write it so bad.#(Guy who hasn’t even decided what the theme or the pov or the tense or the plot will be)#rat.op.tag#rat.fic.tag
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every day without fail I pace and talk to myself like I’m fucking gollum thinking about how much the Isabella arc could’ve been a amazing arc where Edward goes through a scenario deeply similar to what he did to Kristen if given the right buildup (aka making him slowly get to the mental state where he would date a girl who looks exactly like his first girlfriend no questions asked)
it’s not just the fact Oswald killed Edward’s lover to get to him just what Ed did to Kristen. It’s also the power dymantic, how this was the first person they truly felt like cared for them deeply, the exception. It’s about how they both have power above that emotional investment (Edward being psychically stronger than Kristen, Oswald having financial power over Edward since he is his boss and Edward also lives under him). It is about how they both decided to keep a part of them after the fallout whether it be Edward with Kristen’s glasses or Oswald with Edward’s frozen body. A perverse trophy. IT IS ABOUT HOW BOTH FALLOUTS WERE TAKEN AS A LESSON ABOUT LOVE TO JUSTIFY WHAT THEY DID.
I’m so mad that they fumbled this arc on both sides. I am in deep unspeakable agony as I type this. Honestly their first mistake was writing Isabella to be someone who matched Edward’s freak since they quite literally had that with Oswald. But whatever I don’t care for this mid show
#rambles#edward nygma#gotham#nygmobblepot#gotham 2014#gotham fox#Whatever idgaf#I know I said this before but idc I’ll say it again. It should’ve been framed like that I’m so mad#I know there is some intentional shit in this but I don’t feel like it fully was#If it were then the writers would realize how sketchy Isabella is. She works better as an abuser I’m sorry. I don’t like it#Gotham saying they looked into ocd for Edward character wise and then making Isabella do unconsenual exposure therapy one week in and he’s#just fine. His worry is fixed. Wow great ocd rep Gotham wow ur so good at writing mental illness#I know this isn’t related to my post really but it just sucks. I struggle daily with intrusive thoughts and his fear of killing her felt#similar to ocd obsessions even though he is a real threat to her. It sucks seeing suck a reckless action to try to quell that fear be#celebrated by the narrative. Dawg this wouldn’t fucking make him feel better he’s only known her for one week my guy is going to go kms#whatever whatever I don’t give a fuck. Why would I care about gothams constant ableism I know they do it
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Cellbit who places flowers by his sons empty bed and wonders why he works for the federation if he can’t use it to his advantage, if all he does is end up alone. Who could barely handle when him and Roier were fighting, who was so grateful when Foolish would stick around to build for him when he was making himself public enemy to gain favor with the feds. Who pleads with Forever, who is so very clearly out of his mind, begging him not to leave him alone, not like this, not now of all times.
Cellbit who is keeping himself as calm and as balanced as he can, because he knows what it’s like to lose yourself, and he knows how isolating it can be. Who’s there for every one of the islanders even if it’s spreading him far too thin, backpack bursting with notes and photos and evidence with all the problems he’s relied on to help solve. Who’s building the Order to make sure that no matter where their allegiances lay, no one on the island will have to deal with the federation on their own. So they’ll have a place they can come together and rely on each other.
Cellbit who just doesn’t want to end up alone. Not again. Not anymore.
#today and yesterday is a combo that has knocked me the fuck out man#placing that flower at Richas bedside song of healing in the bg as he’s like why must i always end up alone where is my son#his voice cracking as he begs and pleads with forever to get through to him desperate because he can’t just leave him alone. not now of#all times. not with the stakes so high#who likes when people stay around him while he’s building. who seeks out interactions. who purposefully seeks#to create community between them#also the egg bears worth mentioning too like. finding that room and an egg who was abandoned and died alone#always remembering it. fuck man#I’m just. I’m so fucking upset dude#sorry guys I’m mentally ill abt him and etoiles and I won’t shut up about them <3#mcyt#qsmp#Cellbit#q!cellbit#z speaks
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we all broke our rules for someone
#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#actually borderline#bpd shitposting#bpd#bpd favorite person#bpd problems#bpd vent#bpd mood#my friends constantly tell me how many red flags he has and i’m just like ‶red is a great color″#like idc what ur guys opinions are about him.. i love him more than you anyways#like be fucking fr#and they know that.. they just try to make me ‶stop being dumb″ and know i ‶deserve better″ but idc i want him#like yea he’s done some fucked up things to me but so has everyone else so like it’s not a big deal to me anymore.. at the time i was very#upset but now it’s okay.. i don’t mind him hurting me as long as he’s here#beloved.txt
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Oopsies my hand slipped and I drew this
#FINALLY gave into the urges and drew them. sorry guys the mental illness won this time#tbf i’ve been deranged about this pairing for almost a year now i think i have a right to indulge myself after so long#GOD this is embarrassing to post. my sense of shame is too strong to be posting cringe art of my godawful ships even on here#if you hate me for drawing this don’t worry i’ll go die in a hole after posting this!!!#just kidding i’ll actually probably draw more even though i find it embarrassing#death note#death note fanart#mello#mihael keehl#soichiro yagami#soichiro x mello#mello x soichiro#soichello#<— some of you may want to filter those last three tags considering that i post about them semi regularly#if you don’t know how i’m pretty sure you just go settings —> account —> filtered tags and put in whatever tag you want to filter#chara’s art#first time drawing soichiro and i draw him at the most difficult angle possible. why did i do that to myself#i mean it’s not bad for my first attempt but he looks. thinner?? then i intended???#mello’s face looks off here but i had fun drawing him#anyways happy new years. i spent the last few days of last year and the first few hours of this year drawing this#what an amazing and productive way of spending that time#new years resolution is to go outside and touch grass#i can’t stop writing in the tags. i think it’s because i’m hesitating to post this lmao#oh my god whatever just shut up and hit post
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tryna write but thinking about anton makes me so sleeeeppyyyy and comforted like hi man you are literally making me lose my MIND oh my god. cannot describe the way listening to any anton coded will wood song from the tllr playlist makes me feel. actually eternal bliss fr anton can you take me away
#i’m on cloud nine#anton’s good at that hypnosis shit#in my mind#he’s a worm#what a wormy guy#crawling in my brain controlling me#what’s up dude#he’s a parasite he’s an alien parasite. worm#me choosing this username all those months ago was just forshadowonf this exact moment#seriously i’m so fucking sleepy though#he’s in my BRAIN just hanging out#silly fella#aaaaaaw he’s a silly fellaaaa#i’m so eepy#anton you can have my mind i suppose that’s fine#not even joking though listening to any of the will wood songs in the tllr playlist actually makes me lose my fucking MIND#ITS!!!!! ITS HIM!!!!!!!!#ITS ACTUALLY HIM!!!!!!! ITS ANTON!!!!!#i cannot describe how it makes me feel#like that’s his voice that’s anton singinf those songs with that. with that voice#makes me feel alive#he’s so fuckjng real#i wish he was real#gonna fall asleep on my green rug again thimking about hjm#what da hell#anton….. so comfy so cozy…… save me anton#wyrms says stuff#anton oc#sorry for being mentally ill on the interwebs#it will happen again
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me when sweeney goes “tobias!” at the end of “the judge’s return”
#i’m so normal about this cast album.#i just. he was gonna kill toby!#sweeney and toby’s dynamic is so interesting because idk that we ever really see them interact outside of pirelli’s#but there’s this inherent connection (/negative) in that mrs. lovett is the most prominent figure in both of their lives#and tobias is so suspicious of sweeney and sweeney is suspicious of toby in his own right#and at this point especially he’s like. he knows toby knows. he knows toby doesn’t trust him. and he wants to find that child and kill him.#also thinking about when sweeney and mrs. lovett are searching for tobias that scene gives me genuine chills it’s so unsettling#like… thinking about tobias hiding away covered in blood and guts and hearing that……#did you guys know i’m mentally ill about this show?#anyways.#sweeney todd#eli.posts
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Yeah I was fucking right by the way, he’s liked me since like last year and I’ve liked him since October so I really could’ve done something about this sooner, and also he’s not homophobic or transphobic yayyyyy
#boy post#oh my god you guys it was so funny#so first off he’s watching Elden ring lore videos over the car stereo#and after like an hour of debating if I just go for it or not. I go ‘can I say something super out of pocket? you can say no’#and he’s like yeah go ahead? so I said I think you’re cute.#and he paused his video and was quiet for a bit and was like ‘anything in particular to make you say that’ and I was kind of like oh fuck#but I was confident and was like oh just in general#and we both sat silently for a bit and he was like honestly. I’ve liked you for a while#and then yayyy we started talking about that etc and eventually I go ‘so what next?’ and he’s like well I don’t know#(I have dating experience he does not)#so I go ‘do you wanna date?’ and he says yes and I said ‘sick’ and fist bumped him#and then we drove for like 3 more hours just talking and like. getting personal#god I like him so much. he is so pure and good hearted and enthusiastic and smart and a hard worker#and he CARES about people like that’s huge for me. he just cares about people#and I was like this is potentially a dealbreaker. but I’m bi and dated a girl and a lot of my friends are GNC/trans#but he’s chill! and his family is chill!!!!#yeah idk man. everything turned out perfectly fucking fine and I have a boyfriend and he is so cool#and he’s FINE with me being left wing and bi and mentally ill etc etc like I was so worried I would scare him off#yeah idk. I am very happy
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reminder that if u hate mike wheeler then will byers hates you 💗
(I don’t mean like affectionate hate I mean like Actual Hate, can’t stand him, using his character as ur punching bag 2 willfully/intentionally misinterpret and wrongfully assign fault to (not that Mike doesn’t have faults, but fault him for the things that Are His Fault not shit that Isn’t) etc like yes Will and Mike have their conflicts but will cares for him SO fucking deeply and does Not Hate Him)
#byler#stranger things#st shitposts#kind of#some of the takes I see abt Mike from time to time just baffle me like What…………..#he’s not some horrible guy trying to intentionally hurt all the people around him as much as possible ffs#literally I am gonna have to start gatekeeping Mike again AND will since clearly ppl are not only in their Mike hater era but also#in their ‘not understanding will’ era like will does not hold some super deep hateful resent towards Mike#like ffs do you think he gave Mike the painting for shits and giggled?? NO!!!! he was trying to reassure Mike and make him feel better bc#HE CARES ABOUT MIKE!!!!!#I’m literally half awake rn but Mike get behind me#like damn some ppl truly do not like it when things like mental illness and the way it presents don’t exactly align with#their own worldview. I’m not saying I’m Right all the time I’m saying that ppl are#willfully making Mike out to be smthn be isnt and intentionally ignoring his struggles#like do u think that will ‘can’t keep his eyes off of mikes plate and keeps staring w concern at every fucking meal’ byers is gonna take#kindly to someone ignoring and erasing mike’s emotions and complexity and struggles?? NO!!!#going thru some of the anons I’ve gotten previously and I’m just like… ???? why do people seem to Want to hate Mike so much
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i finally watched tristamp!! refer to the picture under the cut to understand my complete thoughts and feelings :)
#my friend came over the other day. realized i never watched tristamp. yelled at me. and came back yesterday to force me to watch w her.#we finished it today and are now even more mentally ill about this franchise than we were before.#there are so many thoughts i cannot articulate bc it’s all screaming. but i really liked this show the choices they made were different but#they worked out w the way they want to take the story. i will say though i miss feral vash. his self sacrificing kindness broke me in#this version. it really hurts in the manga too but like he’s just. so deeply sad.#and he tries so hard not to show it but he’s also not very good at hiding it#he’s good at hiding it in the older versions and i think that when he does break after holding it in for too long#the emotions are so raw. and they hurt so bad.#in tristamp those hidden feelings aren’t hidden so the sadness lingers in every scene you know. drove my friend and i insane actually#i’m looking forward to see how they show him growing w his emotions in the second season!!! eriks is coming!!!!!!!!! my most favorite dude!#apologies for the rant there is a lot on my mind LOL if there are mistakes ignore them i am but a little guy#trigun#tristamp
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I started watching Suits today and have been playing the sims nonstop and have been reading nothing but fanfiction about gay firefighters and articles about how the CIA started a domino effect that created al qaeda and the taliban so yes I’m doing super well mentally
#I’m honestly like doing okay in a lot of aspects like I feel like I’m taking steps towards having a life I enjoy#but taking small steps over a long period of time gets so exhausting#and I keep saying ‘I just need to keep going and keep trying to add things into my life that bring me joy and then life will be better’#but it’s taking so fucking long and I’m tired of the ‘just keep going’ part and wanna get to the ‘every waking moment isnt a nightmare’ part#like can that happen now please#and I keep getting too cocky and thinking I’m there and universe does its best to push me down and put me in my place#I have a great day with a new friend at a beautiful location? cool but ur gonna be in such bad pain u can’t stand for at least 3 days after#i go out to eat with my family? sick but ur gonna get nauseous no matter what u eat and ur gonna be so exhausted ur gonna sleep for 2 days#and it’s just never gonna end is it? bc that’s the chronic part of chronic illness#this is the life I’ll be subjected to until the day I die#anyways not even my deep mental anguish can stop me from obsessively reading about the Soviet-Afghan war#and the main guy of suits is such a pathetic babygirl and I’m obsessed with him#and my sims are about to graduate college#and I’ve been writing and I made new friends and was invited to an event with them and am going to a dance party in a week#and I’m trying really hard to remember that things aren’t always awful
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chiseled-jaw twunk Shane jumpscare
#HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THAT!!!!!! EVEN HIS SPRITE DOESNT HAVE A JAW THAT NARROW!!!!!!! WHO IS THAT MAN!!!?????#like yall…. I’m crying a lil#is it really so hard for some of y’all to accept u find a bigger guy attractive??#Shane fully in canon ‘I think I’ve gained some weight’ and yall drawing him like a slight breeze could blow him away#‘Shane is the WORST bc he’s kind of rude at first while struggling with mental illness/addiction so I have no idea how ANYONE likes him’ vs#‘well I like Shane but if I draw him as anything but a mildly buff twink I will implode bc the idea that a guy w a beer#belly could be attractive is implausible to me’ WHY CAN NONE OF U BE NORMAL ABOUT HIM!!!!!!!
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say what you will about will. he’s a real sweaty guy.
#cannibalposting#I’ve seen ppl talk about#how will is actually the fucked up on of the pair but#rn I’m still riding the wave of like. he is so afraid of becoming someone he doesn’t recognize which. endears me to him#for a while I was really going ugh this GUY so moody but like. yeah mental illnesss will Do that to you#(you can argue he is not mentally ill but like. eh. go away)
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The more I think back on my reslationship with him the more I realize he was absolutely horrible and borderline abusive
#abuse tw#rape tw#what do you mean I have to keep my hair a certain length and I’m not allowed to pierce my tongue#and he cut me off from my other partners without me realizing#like#would get mad if I talked to them and I felt so guilty I just stopped talking to anyone that wasn’t him#including friends#and he always insisted on seeing what I was looking at on my phone#but didn’t react when it was mentally ill eating disorder shit#borderline encouraged my eating disorder#all this isn’t even counting the multiple times he raped me#and was like ‘no this is just what boyfriends do you owe it to me’#including once when I was unconscious after trying to kill myself#so yknow#he wasn’t a great person I guess#sorry raven and styrmir you didn’t deserve to be casualties in my fucked up relationship#that doesn’t excuse it but I’m genuinely so sorry I didn’t realize I was being manipulated and you guys took the hit from it#there are just so many fucked up things he did I could rant about
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