#I’m so insecure and struggling so bad with my self image right now

[freefolkfightorflight]

So. How bout.

I brought a sweater to work to wear when I get cold, and 2 nurses made fucking fun of me saying where’d you get that sweater? Your daughter? As she grabbed the opening of my sweater I was fucking wearing. I guess bc it’s tiny. I laughed “with” them bc I didn’t want to start crying like a fucking baby but my feelings are so hurt.

[josendlessmonolouge]

hey so I just binged your head cannons and how does it feel to be right all the time? I was wondering what you would think about body/weight insecurities with the underworld kids? Like Hazel grew up in the 30s when black girls were the opposite of the beauty standard and I imagine her having complicated feelings about her appearance caused by never feeling attractive growing up. And going into the legion they do intense exercises so she probably put on a bunch of muscle weight after the first few months, and on a short girl like her that can look pretty stocky (totally not projecting rn). So she’s prob never thought about herself as very feminine or beautiful. Do think dating Frank and being desired would help her recover from that and gain confidence?

And with Nico he’s always been very skinny especially after the jar incident. I feel like people around camp would say insensitive things about him looking skeletal or ghastly as a joke but he would actually be very hurt by it. Like internalized homophobia would already make him feel unmasculine and comments like those would be like salt in the wound. Also his eating habits described in the book are definitely disordered in some way.

sorry this ended up way longer than I planned but would love to hear your opinion

Omg thank you for the ask and the spam likes I’m happy you enjoy my head-canons :>> So first Hazel;

I struggle a lot with body dysmorphia myself. The Hazel idea is something I hadn’t really thought about much but now that you put it in my head. I think definitely makes sense and I love it. I think her and Frank probably both have a lot of issues with their physical appearances and how they’ve changed within the events of the books and starting off with bad self image. Within or having to do with the events of the book being Him losing a bunch of weight and gaining muscle then putting weight back on after the blessing of mars, and her like you said putting on more muscle.

my BD/ED was actually the down fall of my first relationship so I don’t think just feeling desired could really fix it , however I think that being with frank would probably improve her self image. I think Frank is probably pretty body neutral or working hard at being body neutral for himself and encourages her to do the same. I do think that his adoration of her would probably also help some. He’s a wonderful hype man and a blushing mess whenever she gets dressed up cute so she can’t help but feel a little better about herself. I think they’re both probably working on themselves and building each other up when it comes to body image.

Nico ooh I’ve got a lot of feelings on him bc I’ve chatted with my friends about it and you said exactly what I’ve been saying about how it probably makes him feel emasculated since he’s a young gay man who’s constantly surrounded by these ultra masculine friends and probably feels like less than in some ways. I feel for some reason that he has some arfid symptoms because most modern foods are just different than he used to and just he can’t will himself to eat most things. He also just gives the energy off even when he was in the 40s he was pretty picky since his family was wealthy. (Idk that he canonically bought McDonald’s to raise the dead that kid cries if he tries to eat a French fry) so it’s extremely hard for him to gain the weight back after the jar incident. I also think He knows he should reasonable work at gaining weight but he also just wants to take up as little space as possible literally and figuratively so it’s a constant mental bottle of “I’m sick and getting sicker, will is worried about me I need to eat, but also food is icky and I really don’t want to see the number on the scale go up even though I know I’ll look and feel better”

I could go on for a long while about this actually lol

[sleepanonymous]

Posting here for reasons! Ok so! To whom it may concern, idk! Call me a party pooper & an old head for this but all this "tummy" talk about III is rubbing me the wrong way. This isn't meant to make anyone feel bad at all! I come in peace!!! BUT! Y'all know the guys see a lot of what we talk about, right? I've seen it done about Vess as well before, concerning stretch marks. Can you imagine people posting zoomed in photos of your stretch marks or bloated tummy all over the Internet, and having full blown discourse about it? You'd be mortified! Would you say the same things about or to the Sleepy ladies...? Probably not. 🤔 Maybe I'm being a giant hypocrite. Sure. There's some nuance here and I know most of the comments usually come from a sweet & silly place because we love them SO sooo much!!❤️ And I am surely not immune to speaking on their physical appearance as well but never would I purposely say things that could make the guys possibly feel insecure or crappy under Instagram posts or whatever. These men have insecurities just like you and I. Yeah, it comes with the territory, blah blah blah, ect... But I'll tell you right now.... I can promise you, at least I feel I can speak on III.... He don't like it! lol So please show some respect in that matter. I guess my point is, if you care about the Sleepy dudes like I do, please pause before you say something that might make another human feel shitty about their body. We all struggle and you wouldn't like it if the tables were turned onto you. I truly come in peace! I love you all! 💖

Hello love 🖤 Sorry it took so long for me to get to this ask, by the time I got home from errands I had a migraine so I took a nap instead of getting online.

I don’t want to add too much to this post, since I think you’ve stated everything fairly clearly. I could easily fall into that hypocrite pile with you (I poke a lot of fun at the Eepy Guys, and even thirst over them, especially in more “private” online spaces like group chats/Discord). But even coming from good intentions, the comments could definitely be interpreted as malicious and hurtful. I’ve always struggled with body image/self esteem, so I think that’s why I reacted so negatively to that one nasty comment made about Vessel’s face.

One last thing to add, and not to scare anyone but just to add a little extra mindfulness to this ask: The band do 100% lurk and have burner accounts for online spaces. I’ve been told this by three different sources at this point, so I’m inclined to believe it.

P.S. I don’t mind being a mouthpiece for longer, more serious posts like this, especially if you DM me first 🖤

[marrowlyavoideddisaster]

I see you asking everyone about their opinions about spamton so here’s an ask for you about him! What’s your head cannon on how he got all puppet like (or he was always one? I see that around some times). Do you think he always had his voice glitches or was something post corruption kinda thing? Also like what do you think his personality was before his fall? Also like any general headcanons? (Sorry if these just seem random I’m bad at questions lol)

hii!!! thanks for the ask!!

OKAY. i usually follow the line of "what would be the most fucked up?" for my head canons. That being said, i have a couple different ideas for what i think would be The Worst on him. One idea is that it was the deliberate and malicious action of whoever was controlling him during his bigshot days. maybe any time that he didn't perfectly follow orders, he was turned a little bit more puppet-like. I think that this would be worse (scarier, more suffering) than if he was turned into a puppet through other corruption, or by actively following instructions because i think as he realized he was being transformed he would struggle even harder against it, and hence making it worse. lol! Another idea that i've seen around is that the appearances of darkners are kind of tied to their self image, and the reason he looks like that is largely due to his own poor self image, as well as the years of wear and glitches and corruption on him i've also heard other people say their ideas that addisons have internal articulation that just kind of looks like a doll or puppet (usually paired with Acid Theory, where spamton has a horrific skin melting jokerification process), which i think is interesting, and under that particular line, i think that the sort of articulated internal structure in addisons would probably be pretty similar to human skeletons where they are Smaller than you'd Think and kind of weirdly proportioned because of how bones tend to be shaped to accommodate anchor points for muscles and other stuff. so getting melted would probably not only make him smaller, but also account for his wacky proportions. Something else i'm fond of is the headcanon that he has a plush torso, like a doll, and while a lot of people like to have his ball joints start at his shoulders and hips, i'm of the opinion it would be more accurate (in terms of that style of doll) for him to have a plush body that extends to his mid thighs and middle upper arms, perhaps with armature wire articulation to give him some flexibility. I don't tend to thin down my head canons to have one specific line of thought, unless i'm having to write a story about it, so take this stuff with a grain of salt.

I think that his voice probably glitched out very occasionally before his corruption, like how people can have typos or stutter or mix up their words, but i think it got way worse post corruption

before his fall, i think he was probably a lot less lonely, but still kind of isolated. i think that even when he was famous, he was still probably deeply insecure and afraid of being seen as a fake and he was probably an asshole about it, lashing out at other people. in spite of this, i still think he was likely a lot less anxious and not exactly suffering from any hyper vigilance until his fall forced him into pretty much total isolation and survival mode.

hmm. i can't really think of that many general heacanons right now, but something i was thinking about a while ago, is that if spamton got thrown into the magnus archives universe after the world ended, he would probably end up in a domain that combined the lonely (personification/god of the fear of isolation, people forgetting you exist, that you will never be able to connect to anyone, that there's nobody else) and the spider (also sometimes called mother of puppets (i mean come on) and is the fear of being manipulated, led into a trap you can't see, getting tangled in a web that chokes you and makes you dance to the song it plucks on the strings). Thanks so much for the ask!! i really enjoyed answering it!

[silly-plush-corner]

I know it’s past 9pm and all (you know the image) but it’s so hard to not listen to these feelings when they are just chilling there!!! Like what the fuck am I supposed to do? My brain keeps forcing the same dish in my face, saying “you can’t play mario until you eat your broccoli” but instead of broccoli it’s the fear that everyone knows about the weird stuff I do or is wary or some shit like that and I have no idea what I’m doing in almost any conversation or social situation like I know it’s the autism but I still haven’t figured out how to reconcile the sheer discomfort I feel with the thought that I’m just choosing not to try to figure it out because I fucking freeze up and shit and I get too scared of making mistakes because I have no idea how lenient other people are on things and I have no idea how bad (to them) whatever stupid stuff I’ve done is, it’s like fuckin evangelion, you never truly know what’s going on inside someone else’s head, there is always some separation, fuck I need to watch evangelion again and fuck I need therapy. Fuck, I need therapy. I need to take the time to go get therapy because these thoughts are so fucking sharp and painful and I have no idea how brains are supposed to work, - is it normal that I struggle to remember a lot about my childhood? It could just be that I’m rarely in situations that click the right hyperlink in my brain to land on the right wikipedia page - fuck I need to get therapy because they’d know what brains normally do and how people normally act and yeah I know that nobody’s truly “normal” but I wanna know how I can fit in a little bit. Yeah I’m still gonna be myself but I want the overall artstyle to be cohesive, even if my character looks out of place. I don’t want to look like I was just shittily green-screened in from a different movie I want to be a little more normal I’m so tired I’m so tired of this ok I’m being a little overdramatic about this but I am so tired of it and I am tired of being overdramatic but it takes so much energy to dial it back especially because it’s late and I’m not rerouting this post, this is direct stream of consciousness fuck now it’s getting meta (I fucking hate that word sometimes) and self-conscious fuck why do I have to get so self-conscious I’m even getting fucking self-conscious about getting self-conscious right now I don’t even remember the events that made me this way I don’t know exactly why I’m so self-conscious I just have this vague concept, this abstract fucking anxiety cloud of “people will think you’re weird in a bad way” and “I don’t want to fuck anything up” and “you have no idea how to interact with people” I’m just remembering that time in early high school when my leading philosophy was “don’t be a burden” and my mom was like “oh that’s so sweet” and I was thinking “yeah this makes sense I’m just some fuckin guy I’m not that important” and while yeah that’s true I’m not like super important, that is such a degrading mindset to have, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. Change and conflict is scary and I’m still fucking terrified of it. I was about to say “I should change that [end of post]” like “haha yeah such a deep and cool ending” but like I realize that being afraid of things isn’t necessarily going to change but how I handle that fear can change but I don’t know how to do that and fuck I’m getting self-conscious again and ok I’m getting off topic I think a lot of my current intense yet nebulous insecurities come from 1) that period of “I don’t want to be a burden on anyone” and the conflict avoidance, emotion bottling, complacency, etc. that came with it; and 2) the constant felt need to hide what I was doing because I feared the consequences or didn’t want my parents to get upset at or about me, I would always be like “yeah mom I did my homework” when 10 seconds ago I was thinking to myself “yeah I can get that done soon” and I would have but then mom popped in and if I said “I haven’t done it yet” she’d get stressed out - even if I’d had it under control - and then that would fuck me up because -

[yeosatinyngz]

helloooo! can i request a one-shot?

ran haitani with an infp reader? if you don’t know what an infp is, it’s a personality type. but i’ll just water it down to a sensitive, shy, insecure s/o.

can you also make the reader chubby please? i struggle with my self image and would love to see ran dote on me.

fem reader please.

Ooh we’re not so different, I’m ISFP👀 I hope I was able to satisfy your request and I just want you to know that you’re beautiful and I’m proud of you, take care of yourself alright?💜

Ran w/ an INFP Reader

↳Fem Reader | Fluff

Request Rules ➣ Masterlist

The bell rang and you quickly packed up so you could get home asap. As soon as you left the school’s ground you were yanked back by someone pulling on your bookbag. “Where do you think you’re going?” You looked back and saw your boyfriend. “Oh hey Ran, just heading home.” He didn’t look amused. “Nice excuse, why have you been avoiding me lately.” “Well..it’s just that.” Your voice grew quieter as you tried to explain yourself. “Just what? Speak up sweetheart.”

“It’s just that I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be seen with me.” You looked down at the floor. “What are you talking about?” “I overheard some people saying how we don’t look good together and that you’re above my standards. That I didn’t deserve to be with you, that you should be with someone better, prettier, skinnier.” “What?! Those people are just running their mouths because they have nothing better to say.” “They’re right though, we’re polar opposites. With me by your side I’m just tainting your image.” You know that that’s not how I perceive you right?” You remained looking at the floor and stayed silent. “Darling, why do you always keep everything to yourself? I’m your boyfriend for a reason! I love you for you and no one is going to make me think otherwise.” “You’ll realize sooner or later that they were right.” “NO, YOU’RE WRONG!”

Ran lifts your chin up so you could meet his eyes. “You don’t need to care what everyone else thinks because you have me. I’ll beat everyone up for making you feel this way. I’ll say this a million times until it gets through to you, I love you! You’re the most beautiful, kind, down to earth person I know. Those people running their mouths are just jealous cause they’ll never even come close to becoming an angel like you.” You’re seconds away from crying and Ran enveloped his arms around you into a tight hug. You buried your head into his chest. “I love you so much Ran, thank you for reassuring me.” “Of course hon, now relax cause I’m not letting you out of my arms.” “Ahh Ran let me go.” You tried to get out of his arms but he caged you in tight. “Never~” he playfully let out. You both let out a happy laugh. He then leans in close and whispers into your ear “By the way, the only thing those people got right is that we’re polar opposites but what’s so bad about that? Opposites attract.” He then leans back and winks at you.

[heavyweightheart]

if we say “i think [x] physical characteristic is good/fine for you, but not for me,” no one is buying that first clause. there simply isn’t a way to internalize the denigration of a physical characteristic that doesn’t also get turned outward. we are far too interconnected for me to able to hate a characteristic of my body but genuinely honor it as a part of someone else. 

the solution to this is not (tho this often gets read into my posts when they circulate too far) to suck it up and shut up about your insecurities! who could possibly heal that way?? the solution is to lean into the long work of unlearning, of self-compassion, of body respect. to learn to name our internalized biases rather than blend our selves with them.

“i’m struggling with my internalized -ism/-phobia.”

“i’m having a bad body image day.”

“i’m feeling afraid my body is unlovable.”

“i’m having a hard time fighting the negative messages i’ve received about my body.”

“my automatic body judgments are strong right now.”

you get the idea. 

the fact that we’ve internalized the denigration of our bodies from the society we live in is so normal, and so not our faults. but healing is a collective act. we heal with each other and for each other. don’t hide. get real. we will hold you in the process, as we were and are held, as you will hold others.

[absolutelyfizzing]

unwanted feelings

james potter x reader

description - You'd had a crush on James Potter for years and when he kisses Lily Evans in front of you, you are heart broken. Later you find that he didn't actually feel as you expected and he explains himself.

warnings - some angst, unsure reader, fem pronouns, self doubt, negative self talk, not eating for a day cause reader is avoiding someone

word count - 2800

A/N - so this one isn't my best work by far but i wrote it so looks like its getting posted. i don't know why all of my reader inserts lately are so fem and sort of bubbly, i guess it's sort of what i'm aiming for for myself right now but i'm sorry if it maybe isn't coming off as relatable.

MASTERLIST

Your throat tightened in anxiety as you watched James zoom around the pitch. He was reckless when he was playing quidditch and it was one of the things that made him great at the game and an excellent captain. It was also the thing that nearly gave you a heart attack every time you watched him play. You went to every one of his games and you always wore something of his with his colors when you were in the stands. You were stood up on your seat and a slightly bored looking Remus sat to your right, reading from a book you didn't recognize. You'd thought that Sirius playing would be enough to keep him interested but sports was just not something he enjoyed watching. You were usually that way as well but whenever James was playing, suddenly you were the most intent spectator in the stands.

You were more worried than you should have been. More worried than what was appropriate for a friend to be. That's what you were, friends. That had been reinforced many times by the shaggy haired boy and you tried desperately to get it through your head before you embarrassed yourself one of these days. Sometimes though, you just couldn't help it.

Really you might have thought he reciprocated if you didn't know any better. You often got comments on what an attractive couple you guys were but each time it was quickly corrected by James. Normally along the lines of 'Oh god no, we are just friends. Purely platonic' , sometimes followed by a shudder or a gag even. It upset you every time to no end but you played along. You rarely, if ever, contributed to the shooting down of any feelings but that was never noticed by the man you had feelings for.

You'd had a crush on him since you were probably in your second year and now you were coming to the middle of your seventh. There were a million times that you almost said something but every time there was a reminder that you were not the one he had eyes for. It usually took the shape of disgust at the thought of dating you or commentary as he pined over the Evans girl who you felt you could never compete with. How could you when she was just perfect. You saw her to the left of you as she stood in the stands as well and your hands shook with insecurity before looking back toward the game. Your heart raced nearly as quickly as James did around the pitch and you prayed that the snitch would be caught soon so that you could get rid of the stress surrounding you. You felt a hand on your right shoulder and you looked over to find Remus had stood and was looking at you caringly.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" He asked softly and you tried your very best to soften your gaze and calm your stance so you appeared less concerned with someone that you shouldn't have that much interest in in the first place.

"Of course I am. When am I not?" You smiled before looking out at the pitch.

"When youre watching the guy you're in love with play a dangerous game that you don't like." He stated simply in response to the question you meant to be rhetorical and your eyes widened.

"I don't know what youre talking about." You nearly whispered and Remus smiled.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone Y/N but its not exactly subtle. It probably doesn't help that I know the look on your face because it's how I feel too watching Sirius play." He was still smirking but your anxiety was far from eased.

"Oh god, does he know?" You asked scaredly, terrified that the answer would be yes and you would have to stop spending time with him.

"Shockingly, no." You sighed out in relief but Remus continued. "You should tell him though or else he might end up moving on."

"What do you mean? There's nothing for him to move on from. Everyone knows he's in love with Evans and he has made it pretty clear that he is opposed to being anything more than a friendly relationship with me." You choked out, struggling with the words leaving your lips but knowing them to be true.

"I mean he has a minor crush on Evans but it's nothing compared to the annoyingly huge crush he has on you. He's probably just overcompensating for the fact that he's insecure and doesn't want you to reject him."

"Why are you telling me this?" You asked sincerely. You were friends with Remus as you were with the rest of the marauders but it was nothing compared to the friendship they held within their group. You knew Remus was more loyal to James than to you so you couldn't understand why, if it was true, Remus would be telling you at all.

"Because he is trying desperately to move on seeing as he is under the impression that you aren't into him and I'd hate to see him throw something away that could be really good for him." Remus smiled gently and you looked at him gratefully.

"I really appreciate you telling me and all but I just don't think I can believe you. I can't even count how many times he has made a big show of not liking me. I love him too much to ruin what we have and I know that if I confessed and it went bad that I would lose him all together. I would rather have him in my life in a way that hurts than not have him in it at all." You stated sadly and Remus sighed but nodded in understanding.

"I get it but just know that I'm being honest and pretty soon he is going to give up on it. I just want to see you both happy but if its too big of a leap, I understand. That's exactly the excuse he tells the rest of us too."

Suddenly cheers erupted from the stands, cutting your conversation with Remus off as everyone ran to rush the pitch. The snitch had been caught and gryffindor won. You were excited for James but you were also a little terrified to walk onto the pitch to see him with the now conflicted thoughts running through your head. Your thoughts were stopped by the image in front of you which was causing the whole crowd to cheer. James had pulled Lily Evans into a kiss in his excitement and your heart stopped. You felt nausea rise in your throat and Remus caught your eye with a sympathetic look. You didn't look at him for longer than a second and you ran off the pitch with tears streaming down your face. You found your way up to your dorm, pushing yourself to get there quickly before the common room filled with students celebrating their victory. James was always one to love attention so he would be getting crazy after the game which he did just about every time they won.

When you made it to your bed, you hurried under the covers, throwing the shirt you were wearing which belonged to James onto the floor. You felt your heart clench at the despair you felt. You wanted to be upset at Remus for getting your hopes up but you knew he was sincere in his want to help. Still you felt that you would probably not be able to face James in the weeks to come. Maybe, given a little time, you could be around him and not be upset at the world for taking away your chance with him. As you laid in your bed, you stared at the ceiling. You felt tears streaming down your face and you grew angry at yourself. He didn't owe you anything, he wasn't into you. That wasn't his fault and it was so unfair of you to expect anything more from him when your feelings were not his responsibility.

You weren't sure how long you laid there but you could hear the party start and end in the common room. It must have been late. Sleep wouldnt come though, you could just feel your heart continue to break and you were stuck in a loop of self pity. You made the decision that the following days would be spent away from James if you could at all help it. That was probably what he wanted anyway and it was the only way that you would get over the pain you were feeling. At some point your roomates entered your dorm and sleep overtook you for a few restless hours.

When you woke up, the sun was barely on the rise. You hurried up and got dressed and ready. You were planning on getting to breakfast early to avoid running into any of the marauders. You found your plans were not going how you wanted when you entered the great hall to find a head of red hair next to a mop of black. Your throat tightened and you quickly moved to turn and head out of the great hall. You heard a familiar voice call your name but you rushed out before you could give it too much thought. You knew that if you let him try to convince you, you would end up having a very upsetting breakfast with your best friend and his new lover. You would rather avoid breakfast.

Throughout the day, avoiding James was proving to be harder than you had thought it would be. You had many of your classes with him and you even sat next to him in a few. He was insistently trying to get you to open up about why you were suddenly so closed off to him but you remained shut off, reassuring him that nothing was wrong and you were just a little tired from the game the day before. You avoided lunch for the same reason as you had avoided breakfast and you felt yourself starting to get a bit lightheaded. Your afternoon was spent avoiding James but soon he was preoccupied with Lily anyway.

You were hid in a corner of the library when a cough alerted you of someone's presence. You looked up to find the very eyes you hadn't wanted to see.

You pushed it down with a gulp and smiled a bit at him, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay but they were growing harder to hold back after keeping everything pent up all day. It probably didn't help that you were hungry and therefor a bit more emotional. You could feel the tears sitting in your eyes, waiting for something to go wrong so they had an excuse to escape you.

"I don't know what I did wrong." He mumbled while looking at the floor in front of you and you took a deep breath.

"There's nothing wrong James, I promise. It's just been a long day." You smiled and your heart picked up speed.

"Since when did we lie to each other?" He questioned and your heart stopped. You were left unsure how to respond.

"Since the truth would cause more damage than good." You spoke honestly. At this he looked up at you and your eyes met. A tear left you and James immediately moved to comfort you but you tried to move away, standing quickly to evade him. You regretted it as spots filled your vision, the lack of food catching up to you. You know that you turned a bit green for a moment because James looked slightly scared.

"Y/N I dont know whats wrong but you look like you should be getting to the hospital wing. You don't look well."

Before you could answer you felt your vision blacken and your legs give out before your consciousness left you completely.

When you woke up, you knew you were in the hospital wing. It smelled sterile and the bed was stiff underneath you. When you started to wake madam pomfrey came to check on you.

"You can't go around with an empty stomach like that again, do you hear me?" She scolded, though her eyes were soft. You nodded solemnly. "I was alerted that you hadn't been to the great hall to eat all day, you have to know that isn't good for you. I'm gonna have a prefect watch out for you the next couple days to make sure you're eating at meal times. Understood?" She asked again and once more you nodded before leaning back and sighing. You looked at your surroundings and were surprised to see the black haired boy next to your bed fast asleep. Your heart took off again and you felt trapped by your environment. As anxiety swirled around in your chest, James had woken up a bit.

"You're awake." James sighed, laced with relief. You still wouldn't make eye contact with him.  You felt the bed dip as he sat on it and you looked up to watch him put his head in his hands as he leaned over. You felt guilt fill your chest more than it already had from hating that you felt any claim over the man in front of you. You knew you were in the wrong and the last thing you wanted was to cause him any pain. "Remus talked to me." He almost whispered.

At that moment, you wished you could have apparated to anywhere else in the world. You looked back down at your lap and tears were once again brought to your eyes. You felt betrayal that Remus would reveal your feelings to James.

"I'm sorry." You apologized and you fiddled with your fingers.

"Why are you the one apologizing, I'm the one whos behaved poorly." He assures and you shake your head.

"That's not fair to yourself. You're allowed to want to be with whomever you want and my feelings should have no effect on that. You've made it clear for years that you weren't interested in me and it is my fault that I couldn't take a hint. I'm so sorry." You gushed out and tears started to fall from your eyes. You felt James get up from your bed and you prepared him to leave but instead you felt arms wrap around you and a kiss came to your head.

"Y/N I have had feelings for you for years. I was just always too scared for myself to even consider that you might feel the same." He whispered out but you felt only a different kind of pain. Even though he had now admitted his feelings, he was still dating Lily. Not you. Almost as if he could hear your thoughts he spoke quietly. "I broke it off with Evans." You pulled away immediately.

"What? Why would you do that?" You asked quickly and before he had a chance to answer you feared the worst. "Oh god is it because of me? James please dont let my feelings have any bearing on who you want to date, I can't stand the thought of being the reason you broke up. Even if we do have feelings for each other, you deserve a chance with Lily if that's what you want."

"It was mutual, actually. She understood that I had feelings for you and she said she had a crush on someone else. It just seemed like I had kissed her a bit rashly on the quidditch pitch and we agreed that we shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. It was only a day anyway." He reassured as he explained himself and you calmed a bit.

"So what does this mean." You got out, almost inaudibly.

"It means that, if you'll have me, I'd like to take you out on a date." He stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world and you almost couldn't believe your ears. Before you were even thinking you were nodding quickly, causing spots to once again fill your vision and James grabbed your shoulders to stabilize you before you both laughed. He pulled you by your shoulders toward him and he caught your lips in a kiss that somehow expressed all of the years of repressed feelings. When he pulled away he smiled at you and sat back on your bed. He spent the rest of the day with you in the hospital wing talking about all of the places he was going to take you in the coming weeks.

[witch-hazels-musings]

because I need that good loving can I request Diluc and Zhongli reaction to seeing there SO dressed up for a formal event even though its not something they really like doing but because they dont want to make Diluc/Zhongli look bad in front of all these other people they put all their effort into looking like the human embodiment of attractiveness.

the way you look tonight 

(okay so truth time - I thought about you the whole time I was writing this and forgot you requested it -- I hope the love of these boys reminds you that you are lovely <3!) 

Warning -> SFW, fluff / comfort (cussing(1))(self-conscience reader)

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Zhongli ⚘, Diluc

Zhongli

He finds your normal style of dress unique and interesting, it’s unlike most of the people who make up Liyue’s landscape and it’s independently you

When someone lives their life in the way they want to, that's what Zhongli admires the most about people, about humans 

He doesn’t mind what you wear, he would want anyone to meet you, to see you regardless because through his eyes he sees your attractiveness - it’s in the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you react when something makes you excited or when he gives you a gift you don’t expect - how could he hide you away and not let others see the way you glow? 

You look at yourself for the tenth time in the large circular mirror. An hour had gone by and you still felt unusual, out of place, like a fraud in this attire. For the, you’ve lost count, time you fuss with the fabric that sits against your stomach, tugging on it, wondering if you should leave it open or closed. The most frustrating thing about this is that you had no idea how to wear this damn thing. 

Your head falls onto the vanity and you do your best to hold it all in. With a deep breath, you go back to messing with your hair and face. The ticking clock behind you reminds you that time is not your friend no matter how much you want it to stop. 

This is so hard for you, of course, you want to be there for Zhongli - he was there for everything you ever did, it was beyond time to repay him - but you just couldn’t find the confidence to be proud of what you’d done. So, shaping the image in your brain into a distorted representation of what you wished you looked like, you stood from your small chair and walked toward the door of the bedroom. 

Your shoes click on the hardwood floor which is something you hate, the thought of people hearing you coming only to see what appears from the source of the sound makes your skin crawl. Still, you pressed on, and that’s when your eyes fell onto the immaculate figure that stands near the entrance. His tall, elegant frame is so intense it knocks the wind from your lungs as if someone just punched you in the stomach. How can I stand next to that … you panic and turn to retreat back into the safety of the bedroom when your arms collide with a small table in the hallway.

Objects fall to the ground and, in a ridiculous display of your clumsy nature, you juggle one of the more breakable objects before catching it moments from shattering on the floor below. 

“Whew …” You exclaim, bringing it close to your body. “Sorry, little guy didn’t mean to do that.” You wince, patting its side before place it back onto its home and picking up the other objects from the ground. 

Long fingers enter your field of vision, startled you stand only to see Zhongli reaching down to assist you. 

“Ah, sorry.” You express, crossing your arms after putting the items in your hands half-hazard onto the surface. 

“No need to apologize, are you injured?” He asks, standing himself and reminding you how tall he is. 

“My pride, maybe.” You share, laughing through your embarrassment. 

“Too much of that and we might find ourselves in trouble anyway.” He looks down at you, his eyes scanning, interested and making you shift under their gaze. “You …” 

“I know... I look so strange, and,” you begin, fussing with the top again, “I can’t seem to get this right.” Turning around you show him what you were talking about and how it seems far too loose. 

He laughs softly and you feel his hands run underneath the edge of the fabric and coming to rest at the wrap at your waist. “Let me assist you.” 

“Thank you …” He’s so close to you, his hands move expertly as they work to correct your inadequacies, eyes compassionate, patient as they always are. 

“This outfit suits you.”

“Does it really? I look so … I mean this isn’t something I would normally wear. In fact,”  You think for a minute before continuing, “I can’t remember the last time I dressed up for something other than adventuring. It’s not practical to go running through ruins in this type of getup.” You explain, lifting your arms and watching how the fabric slips down to your elbows before sliding back to your wrists as they collide with your legs. 

“That could turn things into quite the challenge I’d imagine.” 

“Exactly.” 

“Nevertheless, you will turn quite a many heads upon our arrival.” 

“That’s what I'm afraid of …” You mumble, forgetting that he is close enough to hear you. 

“Y/N, need I remind you how spectacular you look.” 

You bite your lip but your insecurities make you speak anyway, “I just don’t see how I have the right to stand next to you, I don’t want you to be … ashamed of me.” The end of your sentence trails off as you look to the ground. Zhongli doesn’t respond until his hands stop fixing your gown. With comforting fingers he presses against the soft underbelly of your chin, lifting your head at the angle it should be. 

“While I am beyond sure you can hear me, I hope that you can trust me as well when I tell you that every day I am honored to stand at your side. There is nothing in this world which compares to your beauty, in fact, you are more radiant than the moon itself.” He leans in to place a kiss against your forehead. 

“You don’t wish I was … more attractive?” 

“I cannot wish for a thing that holds no bearing on reality.” 

“Mmm.” 

“If my words have not reached you, perhaps I can better express my truth through actions …” He pulled you flush against him, his hands now wrapped around your hips and eyes focused on your lips. 

“Aa! Wait … no, I believe you.” Embarrassed, you push away from him and make your way toward the door. “Let’s just go because if I get out of this thing I won’t be putting it back on.” You huff, smoothing out the wrinkles. 

“Shall we?” He reaches for your hand and easily you take it. 

“Let’s do this.” With a lighthearted Zhongli, you exit your home and head toward the lively sounds drifting over the water. 

Diluc

He already thinks you are so incredibly attractive no matter what you wear - he knows you’re one for practicality, from your actions to your clothes, you are ready to go and prepared for whatever will come your way - a trait he admires

There is something adorable about the way you fall out of bed in the morning and, in some cases, take less time than he does to get ready - it can come in handy where there much work to be done 

He never asks for you to be more than what you are - he honestly wouldn’t care what other people thought about you, all that matters is you believe him when he tells you how good you look or how you make his heart clench 

So when he sees you descend the stairs in an outfit, a formal, totally out-of-the-absolute-norm outfit, he’s stunned 

“Crap.” You say, flinging the jewelry you couldn’t decide on anyway back toward the dresser. You’d taken far too long to get ready, even though you started hours ago, it still wasn’t enough to make you feel confident and finished. Glancing at your reflection one last time, you gave up with a heavy sigh and made your way down the hallway. 

You could already see everyone else in their formal attire ready to go, even the attendants looked better than you did. When you caught sight of Diluc your steps slowed and for a solid minute to you debated about turning around and hiding under the comfortable covers of the bed you loathed getting out of this morning. 

“Ah, there you are! Are you ready?” Adaline shouted from below you and like a scene from a nightmare everyone turned to look up at you. You stumbled backward and felt your chest tighten, eyes scanning each face as you debated on your next action. When they fell onto Diluc’s stoic eyes, you felt a little bit of relief and knew all you had to do was make it down to him. 

Slowly, you started again and, with a deathlike grip on the railing, you made your way down the stairs. Diluc met you at the bottom, his hand extended to take yours. 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t figure out what would pair well with … this thing.” You gestured at your outfit and looked behind him, thankful that people had already started to leave through the front door. “Do I … look okay?” 

With an awkward smile, you waited for his answer, hopeful that he wouldn’t have to struggle so hard to lie to you. I mean, when you were able to see him in his suit, the way it perfectly fits around his toned body, the fabric tucked in all the right places, the sleeves just long enough to give one a peek of skin underneath - there was no way you compared to him. 

He looked at you for so long your heart started to feel like a thousand knives were stabbing you in all directions. He hates this … he can’t believe that I’m such a disaster. The thoughts circulate in your brain and just as your about to rush back up the stairs and hide he lifts your fingers to his lips and kisses them with so much love. 

“I apologize … I’m just a bit startled is all.” Your stomach drops to your feet at his words. 

“Archons, is it that bad? Did I put something on wrong … or?” 

“Nothing like that,” He kisses your palm and the action makes your spine turn hot, “You look unbelievable, is what I wanted to say.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yes.” He looks at you but you shy away from his eyes. “Y/N, do you trust me?” 

“What … of course I trust you.” You reply, flabbergasted. 

“Then trust me now.” He pulls you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around your neck, his hand resting at the back of your head. “I’ve never seen someone as brilliant as you.” 

Fueled by your emotions, you return his hug, squeezing your arms around his waist and doing your best not to let your face be ruined by the tears that want to fall from stinging eyes. “Thank you, I’ll trust you on this … today.” 

“I don’t have any issues reminding you again and again.” Shouting outside tells you that it’s now or never and, as much as you don’t want to, your arms release each other. “Are you ready?” He asks, offering you his arm, and with a deep inhale and sharp nod, you take it and walk through the doors. 

----

taglist: @star-gods @mercurysmaiden @dourpeep @clemmywrites @pepperoncinipizza @handswritteeen @the-mermaid-of-mondstadt @lucifucker @beelsdessert @coolcats09 @ninqat @musekala @sufzku @mooshymello @heavenlyang @plenilunegazes @odafashioned @glazelilyy

[donald4spiderman]

Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!

no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.

I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.

also sorry this is a long

TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing

WC: 1.5k

-

You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.

You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.

Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.

You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?

You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.

Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.

It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.

“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.

“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”

“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”

You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”

Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.

“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.

You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”

Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.

“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”

You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”

“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”

“I love you, Spencer.”

“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”

-

Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.

Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.

“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.

Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.

But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.

“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”

Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”

He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.

“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.

“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”

Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”

Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.

“I need all of your guys’ help.”

-

There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?

You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.

“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”

“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.

“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.

But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.

“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.

You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.

“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”

They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”

After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.

“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.

“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.

You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.

“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”

You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.

Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.

“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”

His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”

Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.

“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.

You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.

Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.

“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”

He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”

“Okay...”

“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”

You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.

Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.

“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.

He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.

“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.

“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.

“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”

The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.

“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.

“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.

Nothing’s ever felt so right.

[foli-vora]

reflections

masterlist

A/N: I’m back, baby! This is completely self indulgent because I’m feeling shitty about my bod, who better to help than certified soft boi Marcus? This is dedicated to all the goddesses who sometimes struggle with remembering that they have the body of a bad bitch, regardless of what it looks like or what society tells you it should be. I love you.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: insecurities, body image issues, SMUT 18+ ONLY - body worship, unprotected p in v, I may have cried writing this no I won’t apologise

+

It was one of those days.

Your clothes didn’t feel right on your body, clumping in certain spots and hanging wrong everywhere else. The reflection in the bathroom mirror showed someone desperately trying to piece together what was left – a bit of extra serum here, a heavier swipe of makeup there, as if it would all come together in the end and you’d be able to walk around with your head held high.

It didn’t work.

How you landed Marcus Pike, you’ll never know, and it’s that thought that festers, ugly and unyielding, in your mind throughout the entire day and well into dinner.

He watches you from across the table as he eats, head tilting when he quickly catches onto the fact that you’re unusually quiet, reserved, curling in on yourself and pushing the food around your plate instead of enthusiastically diving in like you normally do when he cooks.

“Is everything okay?” His voice is soft, his gentle probing so much more different from previous partners and their passive aggressive ‘What’s wrong with you?’.

Your eyes find him, flickering across his face creased with concern, your stomach twisting uncomfortably as you force a little smile. It doesn’t sit right on your face. “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

He knows you’re lying, knows from the sudden shine in your eyes that something’s bothering you, something’s hurting, but he lets it rest for now, sensing your discomfort from miles away and instead choosing to reach a hand across the table to fold softly over yours as he fills the silence with the goings on of his day.

You don’t eat.

He doesn’t comment on it.

He hides when he hears you tidying in the kitchen, thinking he was already getting ready for bed. He watches you swipe away the food on your plate with a quiet sniff, the back of your hand quickly catching a lone tear that streaks down your face, and then he knows.

You pull at your shirt, shift uncomfortably in your tight pants – his favourite – and he knows.

Heart breaking for you, Marcus makes sure to make a noise as he enters, smiling softly when you jump and laugh quietly. You force a smile, turning your back to him to start washing dishes when warm hands cover yours in the soapy water, a body pressing up close behind you.

“Take a shower with me?” He asks into the hot skin of your throat, kissing softly below your ear as he sways with your body gently. A habit of his – always swaying to music that isn’t there. The music of your love, he liked to say. The cheesy idiot.

You want to say no, he can feel it in the way your body tenses.

“I had one earlier.”

He leaves it, nodding against your cheek in understanding before kissing it softly and fading away upstairs. He takes your composure with him, and you can’t help but cry as you finish up the dishes.

You really don’t deserve him. He was far too good for you.

The ugly thought that had long settled in your mind, suddenly sprouts into something bigger. It fills you, the unworthiness, and your chest tightens as you fight off the heavier sobs, struggling to swallow around the lump lodged in your throat from the effort of keeping it all at bay. You’d save them for later, when he’s oblivious and lost in dreams.

You must have taken longer than you thought because he’s already pottering around the room in his pyjamas by the time you make your way upstairs, dark hair dripping small droplets of water onto the collar of his comfy tee. He never dries his hair properly. Usually you’d do it for him – cover his head with a towel and rub it vigorously until he’s unsteady, chest heaving from the laughter muffled by the fabric.

Not tonight.

He watches sadly as you retrieve your pyjamas and head for the bathroom, head downcast.

“Hey,”

You stop instantly, a small smile twisting your lips uncomfortably as you turn to raise a brow at him.

“Come here.”

When you get to him, he quickly steers you to the full-length mirror by the walk-in closet and shushes your quiet refusal, standing close to you as you both appear in the reflection.

“Look.” He says.

You frown at him in the reflection, “What?”

“Look.”

And so you do.

You can’t help the sting of more tears in your raw eyes as they roll over your body, automatically drawn in to the bits you don’t like and picking them to pieces in your mind. He watches intently, heart breaking even more in his chest with every second he watches resentment fill your features.

“You’re beautiful.”

Your head shakes. It’s automatic. Can’t he see out of those gorgeous brown eyes?

His voice remains gentle, “Stop it – look.”

His fingers gently fiddle with the hem of your shirt before he’s pulling it up, careful as he pries it from your body and slides it over your head. Your arms automatically go to cross over your chest, to cover the suddenly exposed skin, but he doesn’t have it.

“No.”

His hands are warm on your shoulders, palms soft as they rub soothingly up and down your arms, and you don’t bother hiding the sadness anymore. Why bother? He already knows.

“What were those affirmations from your new year resolution?”

You snort before you can help it. “They were bullshit –”

He didn’t think so. You were all about them for the first few weeks – writing them in your journal, saying them in the mirror while he watched from behind the shower curtain. You even made him write some down and they’re still stuck to the side of his computer screen in his office.

“What were they? And look at yourself when you say them.”

You heave a sigh, eyes rolling from his to meet your own in the reflection. “I am strong.”

He mhm’s softly into your neck, chin resting softly on your shoulder. “And?”

“I am powerful.”

“Incredibly so. And?”

“I am beautiful.”

“Yeah, you are. Now again.”

“Marcus –”

“Again.”

You do as he asks, heart thundering in your chest as his hands smooth down along your torso and across the skin of your stomach, wrapping you up in his arms as he watches you. He turns you once you finish, hand tenderly smoothing along your cheek before cupping your jaw.

“I know this won’t fix it, I know what you’re feeling goes deeper than this, and I know nothing I do will take your pain away, but will you let me try, honey?”

His thumbs sweep under your eyes, brushing away the tears that had fallen from your lashes, and you smile, heart thundering in your chest as he presses a tender kiss to your forehead.

You really didn’t deserve Marcus Pike, but God were you lucky.

“I love you.”

He grins, eyes shining, “I love you.”

A part of you says no, no he doesn’t, but then his hands gently cradle your face and bring your lips to his, and you’re lost in the slow movements of his kiss, unaware he was backing you up to the bed until the backs of your knees hit the sides and you’re falling back onto it with a startled giggle.

You try to fight off the wave of hesitation when he goes for the button of your jeans and relax, but he can feel your reluctance, always so attuned to you and what you were feeling. He pauses, fingers stopping their movements as he looks at you.

“It’s okay.” You don’t know why you’re whispering. It’s just so quiet in the bedroom, so still, maybe you were afraid of shattering the silence.

He continues then, slipping the button through the loop and pulling your fly down before he grabbing the denim and dragging it softly down your legs. You lift your hips, shimmy a little to get them past your thighs and smile at his soft expression when he settles on his knees between your legs after throwing your jeans to the floor.

There was something magical about being the sole focus of Marcus Pike’s attention. Your skin hums under his gentle touch, goosebumps following the path of his fingers as they dance softly over your body. You don’t shy away from his open gaze; don’t cross your arms over your chest and try to hide your thighs like your mind is screaming at you to do. You just simply lay among the pillows, letting his eyes crawl over every inch of you.

And there’s no disgust hiding anywhere on his face. No flicker of repulsion. No curl of the nose or judgement in his gaze.

It’s pure admiration, pure awe.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You want to scoff, you know that’s not the truth – the planet is full of drop-dead stunning women – but the longer he stares at you, looking all over your body and straight into your wide eyes, you think maybe he’s not lying… maybe there is a tiny bit of truth to his statement and, well, what’s the harm in believing it? If only just for a little while.

So you smile, heart beating wildly when he grins in return, eyes soft as he reaches back and pulls his tee off in one smooth swipe, and then moves to hover carefully over you. You welcome the soothing heat of his skin as he presses into you, hands greedily grabbing at his back as trails his lips across the skin of your jaw, nipping softly at your throat before he moves to your lips.

It’s easy to lose yourself in his steady stream of affection, your mind all but blanking as he steals the breath from your lungs, his tongue taking the last of any coherent thoughts as it moves along your own. He swallows your whimper and presses further into you, grinding his hips slowly into yours and relishing in your quiet moan.

He softly pulls away, keeping his voice low as he asks, “Is this okay?”

You’re nodding before he even finishes his question, and he smiles before kissing his way down your jaw, following the path to the curve of your shoulder to where the flesh of your breast melts from the cup of your bra.

He pauses, eyes flicking up to yours, “Still okay?”

You lift your chest to answer his question, one of his hands quick to whip around your body and undo the clasp before pulling it away from your completely. He inhales quietly, watching your breasts fall to a more natural position once free of the bra, and heat creeps along your ears the longer he stares, wandering hands moving to cup the soft flesh delicately.

A light sigh leaves you when his thumbs brush over your nipples, circling over the stiff peaks before he rips a surprised gasp from your lips. His fingers tickle the harsh sting of his pinch away before he envelopes a nipple into the wet heat of his mouth, tongue soothing any remaining pain. He moves to the other side, repeating his actions before pulling way to blow softly over the wet skin, chuckling quietly at the way you squirm under him.

He continues his slow journey downwards, but stops when he reaches your stomach. A part of you doesn’t want to look at him – what if he doesn’t like it? But then you’re reminded that he’s seen you naked hundreds of times, in all sorts of places and positions. Why would now be any different?

So you look at him, eyes following to where he rests comfortably between your thighs, gaze already trained on you with an air of soft fondness. He smiles when you look at him, and only when you look at him do you realise what patterns his fingers are tracing over your skin – he’s tracing your stretchmarks.

The sudden wave of apprehension is washed away when his lips trace over the shallow valleys in your skin, kissing along every single one he could see while his fingers continued running up and down your sides softly.

“Marcus,” you giggle, when he moves too close to the ticklish spot above your hip.

“What?” He asks innocently, a loud raspberry quickly cutting through the peace of the bedroom as he nuzzles into your side. You laugh louder, squirming against his hold and batting him away as he continues his attack. He glows when he sees the lazy smile stretching your features, no shadows hanging in the back of your eyes.

“Idiot.” You mutter affectionately, smile widening.

“Your idiot.”

His fingers trace over the waistband of your panties, waiting for your go ahead before they slide under the fabric and move them softly down your legs. He discards them off the side of the bed and hums lowly when your legs part under his gentle coaxing, eyes zeroing in on your folds shining with the arousal that had built from his tender ministrations.

“This okay?” He whispers, eyes watching the way your brow creases when he runs his fingers up and down your slit, his cock jumping in his pyjama bottoms when he feels your arousal coat his fingertips.

“Mhmm.” You relax into the pillows, eyes closing in bliss at the rhythmic circles he was rubbing over your clit. “Marcus?”

“Yeah honey?”

You knew where this was going, and as much as you adored his tongue and the absolute magic he could make with it, you just wanted him close. Your hands greedily grab at him, “Come ‘ere.”

He frowns, pouting as his fingers dip into your heat. “But I –”

“Not tonight. I just want you… please?”

He softens, nodding with a smile as he melts back over you, lips eagerly meeting with yours as you feel the weight of his body carefully press into you. He shimmies out of his pyjama bottoms, quick to settle back in between your legs and you exhale shakily as the head of his cock slides between your folds, a fire kickstarting in your stomach as he lazily drags his hips back and pushes forward until he runs his tip over your clit again and again.

His hand darts in between your bodies, fumbling to line himself up with your entrance as your lips work messily against his, throwing his thoughts into a complete jumble, and it’s not long until he’s sinking into you, bottoming out in your wet heat with a low groan. Your walls flutter deliciously around him and his hips jolt, before he’s rolling forward and starting a steady, unhurried pace.

“I love you,” he whispers as you pant below him, the slow drag of his hips against your clit as he grinds into you steadily building the fire in your core.

You can’t help the tears that build in your eyes, the intense power of his adoring gaze too much for your damaged heart to handle, but he doesn’t let you turn away, he won’t let you hide. His forehead meets yours, hands moving to intertwine tightly with yours as you breathe in the other, the slow pressure of his hips staying steady as your chest tightens from the sparkle in his dark eyes.

You put that sparkle there. You can see it now.

It was love.

Your love, his love –

It all morphed together in a wild frenzy of colours and sounds and everything was just right. Here now, with him, everything was right. There was no pain, no doubt… just pure devotion. Your heart struggles with the pressure of it all, chest threatening to surrender under the weight, but you welcome it eagerly, desperate to feel and breathe all of him as he moves over you.

The tears break free. “Marcus –”

“I know. I’ve got you, honey.”

“I love you,” you murmur, sniffing quietly as you wiggle a hand free to tangle into the damp locks at the back of his head to keep his forehead pressed against yours. His nose runs softly along your own and your heart squeezes at the sweet tenderness of it. “So fucking much –”

His face crumbles, completely unashamed as a wave of tears build in his own eyes, his own insecurities biting at the back of his mind, and he nods, pushing the shadows away and instead, nuzzling into you and your warmth.

“I know – almost as much as I love you.”

You share a watery smile, your thumb brushing softly over his cheek to collect the stray tear that falls free and then he’s moving, your hands winding to grab at his back as he picks up the pace, keeping the pressure of his hips rolling against your clit and you cry out quietly as your stomach tightens with the threat of your oncoming crash of pleasure.

He senses it, moves just that little more desperately against you, and then you’re shattering under him, eyes closing as fire floods your veins and rips through your body. He falls with you, his own end coaxed on by the sudden tightening off your hot walls and the rush of slick that floods him. He shudders above you, face pinching as he fills you, and you moan when you feel his cock twitch inside you.

You pull him to rest in your arms, head tucked comfortably in the curve of your shoulder as he huffs into your throat. You try to steady your own breathing, your heart beating wildly against your chest as the post-climax tingles settle into your limbs, your body melting into the bed as exhaustion rolls through you.

He’s gentle as he pulls out of you, carefully falling next to you, and watching you shift onto your side to face him with a languid smile.

His voice is barely a whisper, his fingers moving to find yours as his racing heart calms. “You really are incredible, honey.”

Heat crawls along your chest and fills your cheeks, “You’re not so bad yourself, Agent Pike.”

“Seriously,” he says quietly, “I wish you could see it.”

You swallow the sudden lump building in your throat, and you smile widely at him, filled with such a sudden wave of confidence you wish it would last. “One day I will.” And you know in your heart that it could be possible, it would be. “One day.”

+

Permanent tags: @anu-simps​ @seasonschange-butpeopledont​ @withasideofmeg​ @you-got-me-starry-eyed​ @mouthymandalorianalso​ @frannyzooey​ @wyn-dixie​ @intu-witch-tion​ @amneris21​ @mad-girl-without-a-box​ @pinguinstudiert​ @sergeantbannerbarnes​ @betterthanbucky​ @kat-r-in​ @starlightmornings​ @randomness501​ @antisocialthat70sshow​ @buttercup--bee​ @sleep-tight1​ @spideysimpossiblegirl​ @greeneyedblondie44​ @the-tres-geckos​ @bunniwarrior​ @fangirl-316​ @acourtofsnakes​

[emmyhem]

always (l.r.h) part two

a/n: hi everybody! here is always part two, this is actually one of my favorite writings and one that I was looking forward to writing and posting a lot. it’s another angsty piece but with a sappy happy ending :) also it’s unedited but what else is new. i’ll probably post again tomorrow either a bestfriend!calum piece or a roomate!luke piece that are titled in my masterlist. i hope everyone enjoys and is having a wonderful day. i definitely am after that livestream today. (i would say that i didn’t cry because of how good and happy they all looked but that would be a lie) anyway i hope you enjoy and as always my messages are always open to chat or whatever and feedback and comments are always appreciated. thank you - emmy <33

pairing: luke hemmings x fem!reader 

summary: it’s time for you decide whether or not luke’s mistake is worth losing the love of your life. 

warning(s): mentions of alcohol, cursing, angst (but with a happy ending), self doubt, insecurity, mention of throwing up 

word count: 2.9k

pt. 1

The longer you watched the window the more you were convinced mother nature was taunting you. The rain droplets that cascaded down the glass mirroring the tears that hadn’t stopped falling since you left Luke speechless in the driveway. It had to be for your benefit, I mean it was Los Angeles. California was in a drought for god’s sake. 

Despite the fact that nature was mocking you, you couldn’t dare pull your eyes away. The alternative was to face the endless voicemails waiting for you on your phone that glowed dimly beside you. You knew you would have to hear them eventually but right now you knew that even a breath, let alone full sentences from Luke would break you in every sense of the word. You feared the sound almost as much as the content behind it.

 You weren’t ready to be okay, you needed to wallow in your pain for a bit longer. As bad as that sounds you knew it was the only way you could convince yourself to let him back in, to forgive him. It was also the only way you could forgive yourself. Your body needed to feel how tortured you were without him, how much you needed his affection, his love, and him. Not his money. 

Part of you knew deep down that Luke didn’t mean what he said, the part that awakened the butterflies that had taken permanent residence in your stomach since he had entered your life. The part that caused all your senses to align when Luke kissed you the night you finally understood what it meant to love someone with everything you have. The same part that was clawing at your heart right now as your mind replayed the look of pure devastation that was painted on Luke’s pretty features as you drove away from him. That part was itching for you to run to him, to cuddle into his embrace and say “I forgive you. I’ll never leave you again. Love me?” 

But, it was the other part of you that was causing the problems right now, the part that snuck up on you each time you felt secure in yourself and tore it all down in seconds. The part that told you there was no way you were good enough for your boyfriend when you stared at your reflection in the mirror for even a second too long. The part that Luke was typically the one to silence when it overwhelmed you in a crowded room, with just a tender kiss to the forehead, or squeeze of your hand. The same part that constantly craved for Luke to be proud of you the way you were of him in anything he decided to pursue. That part was completely shattered last week when, whether intentionally or not he showed you that not only was he not proud, but also felt burdened by your lack of brilliance. 

“Y/n,” your friend called, breaking you from your self-loathing thoughts as she approached your brittle body, enveloped in every single fuzzy blanket you could get your hands on. 

“Hi.” you croaked, pulling your stinging eyes from where they had settled on a particularly large rain droplet that had stolen your interest as you wondered how much more water it could withstand before it burst from its flawless embodiment and shattered to the sill below. You wondered the same about Luke, how much more of your insecurity and emotional baggage would it take for him to burst. How much more of your mediocrity could he compensate for before you began to strip him of his excellence? 

“Have you talked to him yet?” she inquired, eyes going soft as she looked at you with sympathy. 

“No.” you groaned, pulling yourself up. “Do I have to?” 

She shook her head, dismissing you. “You know that you’re welcome here as long as you want, but anyone could tell that you’re completely miserable without him, even if he is being an epic prick.” 

You sniffled and wrapped your arms around your best friend.

“Am I an idiot for wanting to forgive him?” you spoke into her hair. 

She returned the embrace and settled next to you in the bed, “I think if he really is sorry then you’re incredibly strong for it. And you’re never an idiot, that would be your blonde haired beau.” 

You laughed softly at her innocent dig, the giggle catching slightly in your throat as it had only been releasing pathetic pleas, and broken sobs for the past few days. 

Y/f/n handed you your phone, the photo of Luke and Petunia sitting by the pool being almost completely covered by all the missed call notifications that had taken over your lock screen. 

“I think you should at least hear what he has to say babe, for your sake if not for his.” 

You let out a heavy sigh and accepted the phone, wrapping your favorite blanket around your shoulders and dragging your feet to the bathroom for some privacy. 

You took a seat in the empty bathtub throwing the blanket across your body. You reasoned it was the perfect place to listen to the messages because as soon as Luke’s voice flooded the room you would be completely submerged in him and you didn’t trust your legs to hold you up. 

You clicked the most recent voicemail, time stamped from 1:28 am last night. As you selected the speaker option you allowed your eyes to fall closed and without noticing or trying you held your breath. 

“Y/n,” 

Only one word in you could immediately tell two things without a trace of doubt. One, he’d been crying, and two he was drunk. If you had to guess you would say tequila, it had always been his favorite and he had a bad habit of nursing his wounds in the liquor cabinet. It shattered your heart to think of him broken, and vulnerable and as he continued to speak you found yourself wrapping your arms around your body for comfort. 

“I miss you and I’m sorry. I-” his voice cut off as a sob played through your phone. You released a matching one while squeezing  your eyes tighter, a shaky hand bringing your phone closer as if it would bring him as well. 

As he continued, your mind began to paint a vivid picture. You saw him sitting on the kitchen floor, an old ratty sweatshirt struggling to keep him warm, damp tear stains spoiling the sleeves. There was a half empty bottle to his side and the tip of his nose was red as it peeked out from the hood. You shook your head in an attempt to rid yourself of the image that felt like your personal nightmare.

“I-I can’t live without you, really I don’t think I can. I need you and I love you. I love you so much. Just please come home to me, please baby.” he spoke through gasps of breath that caused worry to spread across your body.

You paused the message as a dull ache creeped up from the bottom of your stomach and to your throat which was tightening by the second. You tossed your phone onto the blanket which you had kicked off as your body heated up, and sprung out of the tub landing firmly in front of the toilet. Gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail in your hand you hunched over and retched into the bowl. Y/f/n burst through the door as you gagged and coughed repeatedly, she took your hair from you and rubbed soothing circles on your back as you tried to focus your breathing through your nose. This wasn’t the first time you had cried yourself into throwing up during your stay so she knew what to do to calm you down and settle your stomach. 

As you finished the glass of water she had poured from the sink while you brushed your teeth she held your car keys out to you. 

“Please go see him. I can’t see you like this anymore.” 

You nodded accepting the keys reluctantly and made your way to your car.

 Once outside you noted that the rain had started coming down harder, it seemed fitting as your situation reached its climax. By the time you got into the car your hair was wet and stringy, dripping onto Luke’s shirt that you had been wearing since the night you left. You quickly tied it back and drove away, hoping the sound of the rain could calm your nerves before you got back to your house. 

When you got there the sun was setting and the rain was still falling steadily, you grabbed a jacket from the back seat and held it over your head as you ran to the house. The jacket didn’t give you much protection from the water and you were soaked by the time you reached the door. Taking one big breath, in through your nose, and out from your mouth as you had been repeating the whole ride there, you raised your quivering hand and knocked three times. 

Expecting it to take a few minutes for him to reach the door you were shocked when it swung open in just a few seconds. Your heart sunk as you took in Luke’s appearance, although you were sure you looked just as bad if not worse. Deep dark circles sat beneath his bloodshot eyes, his stubble had grown in a bit longer than he typically liked it and his lips were chapped and bitten down. Guilt panged in your chest, how awful of a girlfriend were you to let it get to this point? The thought made you question if he would even want you here. 

Apparently the time apart had completely fucked with your ability to read Luke’s face because even frozen in shock, his eyes began to fade into that special soft color of blue they only got to around you. He felt as if a giant weight had been lifted from his chest and just as it had been since the moment you left the only word running through his head was “y/n.” 

He didn’t see your messy, wet hair or the ratty tshirt that swallowed your figure. He didn’t see your eyes puffy from crying or your bitten down nails that you were bringing back up to your mouth in that moment as your nerves got the best of you. All he saw was y/n. His y/n. You came home to him and as far as he was concerned you looked like an angel. Warm, sweet, and perfect. So fucking perfect. 

Your eyes ran over his face anxiously, waiting for him to say something, or invite you in, or even slam the door in your face. Anything. After a minute of silence you gathered up the courage to speak first. 

“Sorry I never called you bac-'' your words were knocked from your mouth when Luke took a step forward and wrapped you up into the tightest hug you’d ever experienced. Your limbs fit together perfectly, and the second your bodies met you felt recharged, as if everything was in place once again. And Luke felt like for the first time in a week he could breathe. 

“I don’t deserve you.” he sighed as you pressed your nose into his chest deeply breathing in the smell you could only describe as home. “Thank you for coming back to me, I don’t work without you.” 

From your position in his arms you could see the mess splayed on the floor behind him. It was just as you had pictured it earlier, a thin blanket and scratchy throw pillow were scattered on the floor in front of the sink, a bottle lying on it’s side just next to them. Guilt inched up your spine when your eyes made contact with a framed picture of the two of you on top of the blanket. 

“I’m sorry.” you sobbed into his chest, your hands clawing at the material of his sweatshirt. 

He pulled back quickly, keeping his hands on either sides of your waist, “No baby, why’re you sorry. This is all my fault, I was awful. You...you’re perfect.” he pressed as you shook your head in distress, unable to stop your tears. 

“N-no I stayed away for so long, even when I knew I wa-wanted to forgive you. I was embarrassed and...and selfish.” you struggled to speak over your tears while Luke looked down at you sad and confused. 

“What’re you talking about, love?” 

You sniffed and dropped your hands from Luke’s chest, “I j-just wanted you to be proud of me.” the end of your sentence was nearly lost in your sobs but Luke understood. And in that moment he regretted going into music instead of engineering, or science, or whatever would’ve helped him to invent  a time machine so he could go back and beat the shit out of whoever or whatever had possessed him last week. 

His hands moved to cup your cheeks, his thumb tracing lightly over your bottom lip. 

“I am proud of you baby.” 

He leaned in slowly, and hesitantly, almost as if he was testing the waters, like this was new. As if he hadn’t kissed you thousands of times before. You looked up at him through your lashes littered with unshed tears and nodded your head slowly. He still had so much left to say, you still had so much left to say but you both had been needing this for as long as you’d lost it. He pressed his lips to yours gently, afraid that even one wrong move and you would decide that you had made the wrong choice in coming back. He wouldn’t survive that, he couldn’t lose you twice. 

As he went to pull away you snaked a hand around the back of his neck pulling him back towards you. This time when your lips collided his body sagged into it, both arms wrapping around your back and lifting you up to the tips of your toes. Your eyes drifted shut and you reveled in the feeling of him pressed up against you like this. When the kiss broke you kept your faces close enough that your noses were touching, and opened your eyes to see Luke’s still closed, his eyebrows furrowed as he pressed his forehead to you. 

“You’re what I’m most proud of.” he exhaled, his eyelids still shut lightly. “My greatest achievement is getting you to love me and I can’t believe I almost blew it.” 

You brought a hand to his face and stroked his cheek lightly, the feeling of his overgrown stubble foreign to your fingers. 

“It would take a lot more to get rid of me.” you assured. “I think m’too in love with you.” 

He opened his eyes, locking them with your own, and spoke firmly but with a softness that was and would always be reserved for only you. 

“I want to make it clear that you do not in any way leech.” he dragged the last word out, laced in disgust as if it were hard for him to say. “I lucked out. I actually just seem to keep lucking out, my job, my life, and you.” He placed a hand across your jaw and tilted your chin up before continuing. “I completely lucked out with you. I have lots of money, more than I need actually and it makes me feel fucking incredible that I can take care of you. That’s all I wanna do for the rest of my life.” 

Your mouth broke into a smile hearing him verbally commit to a lifetime with you. 

“But, with that being said I know you don’t need me-” 

“I do need you.” you interrupted. 

Luke threw his head back at your words, a toothy grin overtaking his face before he pressed a chaste peck to your forehead. 

“Y’know what? You’re too fucking cute. I meant financially baby, m’trying to apologize here.” 

You nodded for him to continue, struggling to contain your own beaming smile. 

“Anything you decide to do occupationally or otherwise could never, ever let me down. You’re physically incapable of it. I’d be a lucky guy if you let me stick around for it all and I promise to never forget that again. I’m sorry I did in the first place.” he took a deep breath before finishing his rant. “M’only able to give you the world if you let me. Let me?” 

You answered his question by attaching your lips once again, desire and need radiating off of the place where your lips met. As your taste buds reacquainted themselves with Luke’s mouth you wondered how you had gone even a day without him. 

Luke felt like he was flying and he couldn’t wrap his head around how anyone in the world could live without, seeing you, knowing you, and kissing you. He also knew that he would do anything to ensure that he never had to go a day without you for the rest of his life. 

“How long does it take to get an engagement ring sized?” he wondered to himself. 

If he could’ve read your mind he would’ve seen white gowns, tiered cakes, and little blue eyed, curly haired monsters running amuck. 

“I want everything with you, the whole world.” you affirmed when you pulled apart for air. 

“Yea?” he responded. 

You hummed against his lips, “Always.” 

[bluecookies02]

Shigaraki x Shy!Reader-NSFW

Summary: your pinning is driving Tomura crazy. Instead of reading it as your admiration for him, he is under the impression that you are disgusted by him.

warnings: tears, eating out, blowjob, embarrassment, deepthroating...

my image was taken down so have this as a replacement ( i had to post this all the ver again bc it got flagged and it had like 400/500 votes 😔)

/masterlist/

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

If you stare at him long enough, maybe he'll develop an ability to read your mind and ask himself out on a date?

Right? Righttt?

"The fuck are you staring at, you creep" he would turn his head away, leaving the bar area and going to his room.

Your head would slam nose first into the table, cursing yourself out under your breath.

"Keep it up and he'll think you've gone mute"

"Good." you mumble, fiddling the edges of the letter from your pocket.

Once you've calmed down you pull the latter out, staring at it.

Maybe you should just burn it to crisps, letters are cliche anyways...

"Want a drink?" Kurogiri mumbles pointing at the shelves behind him.

You nod, making your way to your favorite tequila brand, not even bothering to take salt or lemons, taking the whole bottle to your room.

Kurogiri sighs, cleaning up the countertop of his bar.

His hand freezes over the later you carelessly left.

He knows what it is, you've been crying over it for weeks on end.

He'll deal with your scoldings later.

The letter falls through the portal, softly hitting the keyboard Shigaraki was currently playing on.

Meanwhile, you're sat in your room, the bottle kinda forgotten since your sobs made it too hard to chug the liquid down.

Why do you always fall for the emotionally unavailable boys? Is it a curse?

The knock on your door snaps you out of your self-pity, collecting yourself and wiping your tears away.

"Come in" you mumble, trying to seem uninterested while scrolling through your phone.

"Now tell me, is it yours? Or is someone just fucking with me?"

The yell makes you jump up, your shoulders stiffening.

You look up, just to be met with your angry boss, gripping your letter with four of his fingers.

"Fucking speak, what the fuck is your problem, it's a yes or no question!"

You bit down at your lip, tears threatening to spill again.

You nod your head, taking a deep breath.

"Yes, please leave now."

As your gaze is stuck on the floor underneath his shoes, you notice the small speckles of dirt swaying towards the floor.

You look up at his hand again, your letter now gradually falling apart.

The sting in your chest burns up through your throat, the tears now spilling as your muffle your cries with your duvet, biting on it as hard as you can.

Shigaraki never had any experience with this.

He had never seen a person hurting because of him( well in this way at least ).

He was never the one to comfort someone else.

He didn't know how since he was never treated with kindness himself.

Nonetheless, he made his way to the bed, nudging the fabric away from your face.

You instinctively closed your eyes, afraid that if you see his expression again, you would literally fall apart.

His rough thumb dipped under your chin, the skin of his hand scratching at your soft flesh.

"Did you mean it?"

"Please stop torturing me, just leave, I'll pack my stuff later" you choked out, moving your head out of his grip.

He knew his actions were contradicting his feelings but he knew he was ready to try, for the sake of the only relationship he'll possibly have.

The possibility of anyone but you liking his damaged ass was almost nonexistent.

And if he was honest with himself, he always had a thing for you.

At first, he thought it was just because he found you unbearably hot, your thighs grabbing his attention each time you crossed his path.

But after he had seen you all bruised up and wrecked after fights, he realized he didn't really care how your body looked like.

"I like you too"

Your cries suddenly come to a stop.

"The fuck did you just say?"

"I said I like you too"

Your eyes found his, your brows furrowed as you huffed.

"You could've just told me that before you destroyed my letter and made me cry my soul out" you scoffed, folding your arms to your chest and staring at the wall on the far end of the room.

His face was now incredibly close to yours, the look on his face was unreadable.

When he was in his teenage years, he found himself sleeping around with a couple of lowlifes, the only thought on his mind was getting his dick wet (surprisingly there existed ppl desperate to have sex with anyone and everyone)

Now that he's supposed to actually kiss someone, he's terrified of fucking it up and making a fool of himself.

"Kiss me." he demands, his hand touching your cheek.

It takes you second to drop your "I'm offended act" as you gently place your lips over his.

His other hand carefully rests over your hip, invading your space as he pushes his lips harder against you.

Once things get heated up, you notice the way Tomura's hands shake against the hem of your shirt, his lips still greedily swallowing up every whimper that escapes you.

"We can go as slow as you'd like" you softly push him away, your soft palm rubbing against his cheek.

He buries his head into the crook of your neck as he slowly nods.

"Go ahead." you will him on, as he slowly pulls your shirt over your head.

The way he stares at your exposed skin makes your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

You try to hide your face behind your hands, but your action is interrupted once Tomura's fingers glide past your lips.

You lull your tongue out, making it easier for him to pump the digits down your throat.

His other hand kneads at your exposed flesh, enjoying the way your breath hitches around his fingers each time he glides or pulls onto the sensitive nubs.

His fingers leave your mouth, his tongue replacing them instantly.

His fingers glide down to your chest, playing with the bud between his fingertips, your own drool making them glide smoothly over the sensitive nerves.

You rub your thighs together, your pussy leaking onto your underwear, making them damp.

The material of your panties slides between your folds, adding a bit more friction as you moan into Tomura's mouth.

He stops to drink in the desperate movement of your hips and he grins.

The insecurity he felt a couple of minutes ago dissolved once he noticed your flush expression.

He kicks his shoes off, fully climbing onto your bed.

Your hands grab at his belt, the metal cooling down your heated skin.

You struggle with it as the thumping in your chest makes it hard for you to focus.

Tomura helps you take his pants off completely, kicking them off his feet.

You look up to see him biting his lip as he expectingly stares at you.

You lean down over his clothed bulge, your tongue licking over the small wet spot staining the fabric.

His hands move to clutch at the bedsheets once you

pull the cloth down.

Your pussy drools at the sight of his cock, the veins throbbing each time your breath ghosts over his dick.

You grab ahold of his cock, steading it as you start to slide him into your mouth.

The corners of your mouth burn as you struggle to take the whole length in, battling your gag reflex once you hear him groan out.

The taste of him slowly fades away as your spit coats his cock.

Your mouth experimentally glides up and down a few times, your lips getting used to the stretch.

You swallow around his cock, his hips stuttering up before he apologizes.

The rim of your mouth repeatedly slams against the fingers of your hand that's still clutching at his base.

His hand carefully wraps into your hair, following your movement, his hips instinctively snapping each time your throat contracts around him.

The thrusts of his hips become more violent by the second and you're sure your jaw's gonna hurt after this.

The soft whimpers leaving his lips are the only thing making you fight the urge to slip your mouth off of him.

You dig your nails into his thigh, trying to steady yourself as his pace becomes sloppy and uneven.

"I d-don't-" he growls pushing your head away as his hips push into the air, his cock throbbing as he tries to clear his head.

You stare at him in confusion, gasping for air.

He feels like a simple additional touch could make his cock burst.

The tip of his dick is swollen and red, beads of precum spilling at his head.

"I want to make you cum so bad" he mumbles as he slides on-top of you, pushing your back into the mattress.

Your pants are slowly dissolved as he grabs the hem of it with his fingers, shooting you an apologetic look.

His hands push your thighs apart, revealing your ruined panties.

The low grumble in his throat makes your walls flutter.

Once your underwear is pushed to the side, his tongue is reaching out to collect the liquid into his mouth.

The satisfying groan that vibrates into your pussy makes your cheeks heat up all over again.

His fingertips are carefully dipping into the flesh of your thighs as he pushes your legs to their limit, giving him full access to your cunt.

His licks are slow and timid, his mind focusing on each sound you make.

Once his tongue is buried into your pussy and his nose nuzzled into your clit, your hands gripping at the base of his neck.

He's pushing it in and out of you, listening to your broken out praises.

"T-thank you, thank y-you, please don't stop, p-please."

His cock is rubbing against your sheets as he lapping all over your cunt.

"Touch yourself " he demands as he focuses on pushing his tongue deeper into you.

Your hand goes to your puffy clit, his spit making your fingers glide over with ease.

Soft moans leave his mouth each time he swallows, his hips find a steady pace as he waits for you to lose yourself.

The knot in your belly tightens as you suck in a deep breath, your orgasm making you push your hips up into Tomura's mouth, his hands still pushing at your legs, not letting you close them around his head.

Your legs began to shake under the pressure, his licks not slowing down.

You try to wiggle your hips out of the way, but he just looks up at you with a threatening gaze.

Once tears begin to roll down your cheeks, he is satisfied enough to let go of you.

His mouth leaves your pussy with a wet "pop" sound.

You look down at your bedsheets to find them completely ruined.

You let out a small laugh, making Tomura feel guilty for making himself look like a pervert.

You pull him down to lay next to you, gently trailing your fingers down his skin.

"Don't worry about it, it's fairly erotic" you reassure him as he buries his face in your chest.

"I'm not embarrassed " he huffs out hiding his face even more.

"Yeah, never said you were" you mumble, comfortingly scratching his head.

You'll have to thank Kurogiri in the morning.

___________

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@fairlyathleticquailssince1988

[gredandforgesmischief]

after all - plus size lily x james!

title: after all

pair: james potter x plus size! lily evans

summary: lily never thought that a person like james could be sincere when asking someone like her out.

content: uhh idk what to put here but lily has anxiety/body image issues

word count: 2500

a/n: hiii everyone this is my first piece of writing on this account :)) i posted this headcanon on my tiktok a while back and people really wanted me to write about it, so i did! feedback is always welcome.

other characters/ships mentioned: dorlene, wolfstar, mary macdonald, marlene mckinnon, remus lupin, sirius black, minerva mcgonagal

_

“Oi, Evans, wait!”

Lily groaned as the bespectacled boy jogged towards her. Not this again she thought to herself. Despite her less than happy expression, James smiled kindly towards her. She nodded to him hoping that he would carry on and say whatever he had approached her for.

“Would you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?” Lily noticed that he was fumbling with his sleeve as he asked, and could tell that he was nervous. His anxiousness made her feel a bit bad about what she was to say next.

“James I-” She started, her lips pursing into a frown, but James already knew what she was going to say.

James smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck with his hand. “It’s no worries,” Lily avoided eye contact with him, as he began to walk away. “Just let me know if you change your mind.” James said as he continued down the corridor.

-

“Lily, I honestly don’t know what you’re on about. James asks you out every chance he gets,” Marlene said, glaring at the redhead as she plopped down onto her bed, “you just never accept his offers.”

Lily looked to Mary for help, but had little luck as Mary silently agreed with Marlene. The three had just come back from dinner and were painting each other’s nails.

“Why are we even talking about this, Mary was asking you about Dorcas. What does that have to do with James and I?” Lily pulled her hand away from Mary, smudging the nail that Mary was painting.

“So you agree that there is something going on between you and James?” Mary questioned, ignoring the fact that Lily had ruined the work that she had been doing for the last twenty minutes. Marlene laughed, noticing the flush on Lily’s face.

“We all saw you two today before potions, don’t be coy!” Marlene egged on. Lily got up from her position on the floor, rolling her eyes while doing so.

“I don’t know how many times that I have to tell you that James isn’t into me. Neither of you will ever get it. A guy like him wouldn’t want to date someone like me.” Mary glanced at Marlene, the air in the room starting to become a bit tense. Lily cleared her throat, hoping that neither of the girls across from her would press further.

Mary and Marlene were not unfamiliar to Lily’s harsh demeanor. At this point, they knew Lily like the back of their hands. They knew what she meant when she said “someone like me”. It was far too often the two consoled Lily when she cried to them about a cruel comment that someone had made to her about her weight.

Although Lily had been dealing with these comments all throughout her sixteen years of life, her insecurities only grew as she became a teenager. It was quite difficult for her to not compare herself to her thinner classmates, regardless of how much it hurt to think about.

“You are beautiful Lils,” Lily looked at Mary as she spoke, awaiting the rest of her sentence, but was met without any other words.

Marlene and Mary’s affection towards her was something that Lily had to get used to at first. Lily had never been comfortable with people complimenting her physical appearance because of the conditions that usually accompanied the compliment.

Nearly every compliment that Lily could remember was backhanded, until she had met her two best friends. Whether it was her aunt congratulating her on losing some amount of weight or the uncomfortable, “You’re pretty for a big girl.” Regardless of how hard she tried, the comments about her body never seemed to cease.

“Mary is right, Lily, you are stunning. You don’t have to go on a date with James, but give him some credit. He’s not a total arse.” Marlene said, trying to deescalate the situation.

Lily nodded, but even their kind words couldn’t soothe her anxiety. She looked toward the clock on her side table and noticed the time.

“I have to go. Head Girl duties call.” Lily quickly grabbed the robe on her bed, bringing it along in case she got cold while making her rounds. Marlene and Mary flashed sympathetic smiles at the redhead as she left the dorm, knowing she would have to go face James.

-

Surprisingly, James was waiting for her when Lily reached the bottom of the steps. Lily held back a laugh, noticing him struggling to attach his “Head Boy” pin onto his uniform. You would think someone as smart as James could figure out a simple pin.

“Let me help you,” Lily said, breaking James out of his deep concentration. He looked at her with appreciation before handing the gold pin her way.

Lily tugged the front of his robes slightly before attaching the pin onto it. She hummed in satisfaction before pulling away from him. As she pulled away she noticed James was staring at her quite intensely.

Lily flushed as they made eye contact. She couldn’t deny that James was attractive, but she didn’t let herself dwell on it.

“We should probably get going, I don’t want to be out all night.” Lily stated firmly starting to head out into the corridor, James following close behind her.

As the two walked around the castle, Lily distanced herself from James. She honestly did not want to deal with any awkward conversation. At this point, she had brushed James off far too many times to count, and it made her unbelievably anxious to have to do it again.

Just as they had turned the corner towards the middle courtyard, the pair heard a loud boom near the transfiguration classroom.

“Oh great, just what I need right now,” Lily thought to herself as she and James headed into the classroom. Just as they walked into the room, the door shut behind them quite forcefully. There had seemed to be no one in the room besides the two of them. The brunet grabbed the handle of the door quickly, realizing that it was stuck.

“You don’t happen to have your wand… do you?” The boy looked towards Lily with a concerned look on his face.

Lily patted the pocket of her robe before realizing that this was in fact not her robes, but rather Marlene’s. She huffed out a breath of air. “You would think I would notice the size difference” Lily silently cursed at herself before looking towards a confused James.

“This isn’t my robe, I must have grabbed Marlene’s before I left. Why don’t you have your wand? Kind of irresponsible, no?” Lily scolded, hoping that he was messing with her about not having his wand. After her conversation with Marlene and Mary, Lily was not feeling her best, and it became very apparent to James as she bit her nails anxiously.

“Hey, you also forgot your wand, but you don’t see me complaining.” James was joking, but when he looked at Lily once more, he noticed that her eyes were watering. “I’m just kidding, Lily, are you alright?”

Lily frowned at the brunet’s apology, she couldn’t stand him acting like he cared so deeply for her. The two were barely even acquaintances, and she didn’t feel like explaining all of her anxiety quirks to someone she hardly knew.

“Please don’t do that. Don’t act like you care.” Lily said forcefully, meeting eyes with the brown-eyed boy. The two had now moved away from the door and were sitting on the floor near the wall opposite to the door.

Once more, James looked at the redhead in confusion. He racked his brain to think about every interaction he had with Lily that day, before it dawned on him.

“Is this about me asking you out? I never meant to make you uncomfortable- you see I thought Hogsmeade could even be a group thing. Remus and Sirius would also come- wait I guess they’re a couple, but it doesn’t have to be a double date… you could bring Mary-” James went on, his cheeks a soft pink, before Lily cut him off.

“Listen, James, I don’t know if you get some sort of kick out of asking me out, but whatever angle you’re playing at I’d rather not be a part of it,” Lily was visibly distraught now, her jaw was clenched and a single tear was rolling down her cheek. For what felt like the hundredth time, James looked to her in genuine confusion.

James had nothing to say, and as he stared at her mouth ajar, she started up again.

“You could have at least picked a better joke. Asking out the fat girl is so overdone. I didn’t think that you of all people would be so awful,”

Lily was really crying now. “Marlene told me that you were sweeter than before, and I really gave you the benefit of the doubt...but here we are and you’re still laughing at me!” Lily didn’t mean to blow up at James, but at this point they had been stuck in the classroom for what had felt like hours.

Lily wrapped her arms around herself, her head hanging down. She knew that James was staring at her, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Maybe now he’ll leave me alone.

Both of the Gryffindors were quiet for a long minute before James decided to break the silence.

“Lily, I don’t know what I’ve said to make you think that I’m joking, but I promise you I’m not. I get it if you don’t want to go out with me, but I just need you to know that I would never ask you out as a joke. Why would you think that?”

Lily finally pulled her head up and looked at James. His brow was furrowed and the expression on his face was unreadable. She took a breath, calming herself down.

“What do you mean, James? I mean look at me.”

There it was. That feeling. It was unavoidable at this point. All of the insecurity that Lily had shoved down was threatening to spill out. It was infrequent that Lily really confronted her self-image, but her conversation with James forced everything to surface.

James could almost see the gears in Lily’s head turning, it was very obvious that she was thinking hard about something. He sighed, not wanting to press her further.

“Lily, I don’t know what happened to make you think that I was joking, but I would truly be honored to take you out.” James said cautiously. He couldn’t tell if this would upset her further. Lily was looking at him in speculation, but at some point she had stopped crying.

She was looking at him, not speaking, almost as if to tell him to keep going. For months she had thought James was playing some cruel prank on her, but they were alone now. There wasn’t some audience to laugh at her if she told James how she felt. And even if he was joking, the pair were by themselves, and Lily could deny accepting James' invitation for a date to anyone that James would tell.

As she looked at him, she noticed that James genuinely seemed horrified at her accusation against him. If she wasn’t completely sure that James was being sincere, she would not have said another word, but for whatever reason, Lily trusted James.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Lily was sorry, “I don’t know what it is. There’s just something about someone like you wanting to go out with someone like me that seems… off.”

James frowned. He wasn’t oblivious to what Lily was talking about, but he really couldn’t understand why Lily was insecure. There weren't enough words to describe the beauty that Lily emitted.

“Lily, you’re the smartest person I know-”

“That’s what everyone says, James.” Lily laughed softly, watching James squirm at her words. She knew that he was nervous, but it was funny to see him care so much.

“Oh, so you do want me to be mean to you?” James’ tone was serious, but there was a lighthearted look in his eyes.

Lily rolled her eyes, “Haha, very funny. I don’t even think you could be mean to me. I think the last time I saw someone this nervous was when Marlene tried out for quidditch during second year.” The two laughed, James nudging Lily with his arm playfully.

As their laughter died down, James remarked, “Enough with the jokes, though. You’re actually the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” Even after he was met with a glare from Lily, he continued. “You’ve been crying and you still look lovely, Lily.”

Lily sighed. First Mary and Marlene, now him? Lily felt embarrassed, but James was still staring at her, and adoringly at that. The soft rouge tint that marked his cheeks was still prominent.

“Well, you’re cute when you’re nervous,” Lily retorted, smiling as James flushed a deeper shade of red, “But I’m sure you get that often.”

James hummed, “Blimey, I don’t think anyone has seen me as nervous as I am right now, honest.” Lily apologized once more for assuming the worst in him.

The two small talked for a long while after that, simply basking in each other’s presence. James learned about Lily’s family, and Lily learned about what it was like at the Potter’s residence. Something about their dynamic felt natural.

Their conversation was halted as someone opened the door. There, standing in pajamas, was a distraught looking Mary and an annoyed Professor Mcgonagall.

Mary started, “There you are! You were gone for nearly two hours. After a while, I thought I should go check on you.”

“That’s enough, Ms. Macdonald,” Professor Mcgonagall said, “What were you two even doing in here?”

Before Lily could start to explain, James cut her off. “We were making our rounds down the corridor, when there was a loud noise coming from the classroom. When we walked in here, the door was jammed and neither of us had our wands.”

Mcgonagall looked skeptical at their story, but decided not to press the issue any further. With a gesture of her hand, the three Gryffindors started walking towards the common room.

Mary immediately went up to bed, exhausted from worrying about her best friend. Meanwhile, James and Lily had to have a quick word with Mcgonagall.

The Professor commented briskly, “Next time, please make sure you have your wand on you. You two are Head Boy and Girl after all.” Noting the nod of approval from the two teenagers, Mcgonagall went off to bed.

The pair walked into the common room, both exhausted. In spite of their tiredness, the two were radiant.

“Goodnight, Lily. I hope you sleep well.” Lily smiled, mumbling a quiet, “Goodnight James,” as she made her way up the dormitory steps.

As Lily settled into bed, she thought to herself, Maybe James would get that date after all.

[zulivaris]

Art Block tips that helped me

 I’ve recently experienced art block after 3 or so months of overcoming my last one. Thankfully this block only lasted a few days thanks to some things I’ve observed and noted down from the previous time. So I’m sharing these few tips in hopes that it might help someone get unstuck :D!

First and foremost if you’re tired, sad or anxious don’t be surprised that you can’t make art, go and take care of yourself by treating yourself with kindness and patience, the sketchbooks and canvases will wait for you :)

The tips are under here:

Separate art studies from the creative time:  When you do art studies you’re there to focus on specific things, learn and understand how things work so you can apply them later in your art. Studies take a lot of energy and focus and are the opposite of the creative "flow” of making your own pieces. If you combine the two the results are either unfocused studies or stiff drawings. When you sit down at your desk ask yourself “Do I want to learn something new or do I want to create something of my own?”

When you have an idea don’t be afraid of being messy: Let’s say you want to make a picture of several cats kolo dancing in the moonlight. How do you go about doing this? Well since you came up with the idea you already have a vague image in your mind, sketch it out with simple shapes, stick figures, circle and spheres etc Don’t worry about cat anatomy, or the dancer’s moves, sketch out the essence of it. This method removes the need to be perfect or accurate. 

Ok after the messy sketch then what? Well now that you have sketched out the essence of your idea (and hopefully had fun doing so) now you go on to look for references! You put the creative process on pause and you can do a few brief studies if you need to: anatomy, color schemes, values, poses. Pick out a few of your favorites but don't obsess over them, they are a guide, a tool.

You know much more than you think. You’ve probably been drawing for a few years now. You’ve probably done some studies and drawn more than one type of subject. Then you have already internalized some of that information. I used to be obsessed with capturing the minute detail of the subject, and not be able to draw ANYTHING without reference. Instead of a useful tool, references became another obstacle to my creativity. That’s perfectionism my friend, and that’s no good. Here is an exercise a good friend of mine offered: Draw a few characters, animals and objects from imagination. Make sure that the subjects have no personal value to you (no ocs for example) so that if you make a mistake you won’t feel bad about it. Make the process relaxed and comfortable, pour a nice cup of joe, listen to your favorite music ... You will notice that you do indeed know how to draw some things without reference, and it’ll help with your confidence. 

The more you do studies the more you understand This seems evident but the more you understand your subject the freer you can be and the easier it’ll be to draw it from imagination in the future. If you really struggle with something to the point of frustration (as in you can’t get it right even with reference) It means you have to study it. Have a study list, for example: hands, perspective, color theory etc. And one of those days you want to study pick something from the list, and look for videos on youtube or useful sites like line of action etc. Only study one thing at the time. You can go from studying hands to studying arms since they’re more immediately connected, but you can’t study hands and then jump to learning perspective right after. Trust me you can learn perfectly fine with the resources online, and I’m sure you’re clever enough to do it :D

Mistakes don’t mean you “suck”  I’ve noticed that the two most common causes for art block are perfectionism and lack of self-confidence.  The two can often go in tandem which is worse :’D But let me remind you of something, you can fix your piece along the whole process. Use erasers, lasso tools, liquify , select, paint it all over etc If something looks off to you then you also know deep inside how to fix it. Useful ways to see what clunks: flip canvas horizontally (helps with placement, proportions), turn the image to grayscale (helps to check values and where your eye tends to look), look at your image in thumbnail size and ask yourself if it’s clear, see the pose’s silhouette and ask yourself if you can tell what the character is doing etc. Don’t fret, everything can always be fixed :)

Perfectionism, sometimes it stops you before you begin Perfectionism causes you to overwork a piece, it makes you draw less, it makes art stressful, it brings insecurity. Let’s remove it with a simple exercise. It can be combined with the “draw things from imagination” once you’ve drawn something you like: dont do line art, don’t shade it, keep it as simple and crude as possible and then...post it. Yes, post it. You’re not at your best? You’re only human, this will help you embrace that very human side of you. You make mistakes. So what? The more mistakes you make the more you know what you need to study and the better at art you become. Mistakes are there to show us what we need to learn. See them as another tool and not a sign of failure.

Make the process as enjoyable as possible: You like art. You love drawing. Never forget this. Otherwise why are you drawing if you don’t enjoy it? It’s easy to fall prey to the mentality of those relatable memes that “art= suffering” or “I can’t even draw the other eye”. No no no my friends, these messages are fueling your insecurities instead of overcoming them. Let me tell you what, art is fun. It is. Art is fun, because I decided to make it fun again. And you should decide on that too. Personally I adore lineart but my hand-eye coordination is lacking to do it digitally, so....I just skipped it. Yes. I skipped it. I do the sketch, I clean it up a bit and then jump onto color which I adore. It allowed me to draw more and more freely. When I draw I listen to music, make strokes with the rhythm, I take breaks often and I drink my favorite iced teas. If you don’t like coloring do it in grayscale, if you love lineart then do that etc It doesn’t mean you won’t learn your weak points in the future with studies and practice, but you won’t let your weaknesses prevent you from drawing at all. No no, you won’t let them. You draw because you want to, despite of them.

Don’t wait for inspiration, provoke it  Inspiration is not a divine and capricious muse. You make inspiration. It’s easy just collect all the things you like, music, artists, objects, characters, animals, patterns, plants etc Make boards on pinterest or similar sites, combine things you like. You like suits? You like birds? You can draw a bird in a suit, or a bird-inspired suit design, there is frankly a lot of ideas that can spring up from little things like these.

When a project stops being enjoyable either pause it for now or move on to the next thing. Pieces aren’t precious. They’re not “the one time I got x right” they are one of many. This advice goes mainly to hobbyists who can afford the luxury of passing to a new project. I have a WIP of a character who is overly complicated (I enjoy a challenge from time to time) sitting for half a month. I sometimes come back to it and add something... but as soon as it starts to create discomfort and insecurity instead of enjoyment I move onto something else. In the meantime I created 3 or 4 new pieces. If I had waited on finishing that piece I would have been severely creatively and physically exhausted. The art comes from you, not inspiration. The more art you make the better you become.

That’s about it :D I know it’s long but I prefer to be thorough and cover all the possibilities. If you have read of this: Thank you so much I hope this helps you at least a bit, if it helps only 1 other person I’d still be very happy. Have a nice one, and kick art block’s butt!

[sneezefiction]

hiii, can i request a hc with bukuto, kenma, kuroo and tsukki (AH IF THATS TOO MANY U CAN TAKE SOME OUT AHH) w a fem s/o who’s insecure ab her body 👉🏻👈🏻 i’m going thru some image issues and i want some of my fav boys reassurance

Bokuto, Kenma, Kuroo, and Tsukishima x fem!Reader - Body Image Insecurity Headcanons

a/n: hey anon!! just want you (and all my readers) to know, i believe you are all inherently and unchangeably beautiful inside and out. let me know if you need to talk and know that i’m always happy to provide haikyuu boy sweetness for u <3

warnings: addresses body image insecurities, anxiety

total wc: 960

---

Bokuto:

you’re standing in front of the mirror, examining yourself again

it’s easy for you to pick yourself apart, deeming yourself too much in one place but not enough in another

what you don’t see is the adoring gaze from the doorway, silently watching you

he’s smiling until he catches a glimpse of your face

your usually etheral glow is replaced by a look of dejection and misery

the body that daily captivates and charms the grey-haired boy was being rejected by its owner. It’s caretaker

and before you can even react to the padding of footsteps behind you, Bokuto has wrapped his strong arms around your middle

he’s uncharacteristically quiet, but it soothes you

“You…” He kisses your hair, “are lovely.”

“You,” Turning you around to face him, “are stunning.”

“And you,” He’s kissing away little tears that spill out, “are so damn fine, y/n!” He exclaims through his most authentic grin, knowing you tend to copy his expressions out of pure habit

and it works

you smile, laughing at that last comment through a soft sob

he just holds you for a while

“You’ve gotten better with your compliments lately, Bo.” You note, tears having finally subsided

“I’ve had some great teachers… but an even better specimen.” He says cheekily, but you can tell he’s serious.

and to finish, he adds, 

“And I’m so glad you’re mine. I love you... everything about you, really.”

Kenma:

Kozume is pretty damn smart.

there aren’t many things he doesn’t pick up on

especially when it comes to you

the way you speak about yourself and, more specifically, your body

how you joke about what you gained/lost in the past month

how that one shirt never fits quite right, but it’s your fault for letting yourself get that way

you laugh when you speak about it, but Kenma couldn’t be less convinced by it

he wishes you could see yourself how he saw you

so he takes some relationship advice from Kuroo,

“Just write her a letter! Girls love letters, trust me.”

so he sets down his Gameboy (a truly dedicated bf) and gets to writing over the course of the week

that weekend, before you start your day, you see an envelope attached to your mirror

your curiosity is piqued and you immediately open it

your heart is being flooded with intricate words and details

Kenma somehow managed to document all the little bits and pieces he loves about you

from how you wake up in the morning to the weird way you order food at that one restaurant, it’s all there

paragraph after paragraph, you’re being affirmed. noticed. known. and he leaves your body for last, reminding you that he loves that part of you too.

he loves how you move and how change isn’t bad, that your body is meant to be protected and cherished

and that he’s there to love you. the you that’s on the inside and the one on the outside too

Kuroo:

you’re trying on outfit after outfit for a gathering tonight

jeans don’t fit right today, dresses seem to hang oddly, and shirts pull in areas you didn’t even realize they could

Kuroo, waiting patiently on the bed and scrolling on his phone, notices your struggle

as the clothes become a huge mass on your floor, your frustrations begin to spill out with them

you curse angrily under your breath, holding up a shirt in front of your exposed body

Kuroo looks up and immediately notices how short your breath is getting

“Kuroo… I can’t do it. I don’t want to go out. I’m sorry.” You're getting teary, “I’m really sorry.”

“Hey, heyyy, let’s stay here tonight, okay? Let’s just hangout.”

he lets you slip on something you’re more comfortable in and leads you back to the bed

he sets up Netflix and he makes sure to cradle you in his arms, his body warm against yours

“It’s more fun with just me anyway, isn’t it?” He jokes, gauging how bad you really feel right now

when you don’t respond, he pushes the laptop away from your lap

he just begins to give you little kisses across your face

when you seem more comfortable, he places kisses into your palms and up and down your forearm

this leads to him tracing your hips and arms and legs, commenting on just how perfect every inch of you is

he has a one-sided conversation with you, just him explaining how lucky he is to have such a “hot girlfriend” with the most perfect body

he comments on how well you take care of it, how beautiful your skin is, how unique you are

and finally, once he’s affirmed every physical part of you, he captures your lips in a gentle kiss that seems to say:

“And I mean every word of it.”

Tsukki:

he may not say it, but Tsukishima believes you are something to behold

you stood up to his abrasive personality, spoke your mind with him, and chose to stick by his side even at his angriest, lowest moments

Tsukki admires almost no one. but you? you’re the exception.

you are strong, passionate, and charming… attributes Tsukki didn’t feel he possessed

so when he realized that you lacked confidence in your physique, he was so perplexed

for someone so brilliant, how could you have gotten it into your head that you weren’t also beautiful?

he actually feels insulted lmao

when you both started dating, he wordlessly promised that he would fight anyone that ever tried to hurt you

but you’re beating yourself down

so i guess he has to fight you, now?

he goes about this strategically

you’re checking yourself out in the mirror?

“Oye, stupid, you look great, let’s go.”

you make a self-deprecating comment to yourself?

he’ll kiss you before you can finish your sentence, even if you’re in public

you visibly try to hide parts of your body in public?

Tsukki has his arm around you, tucking you into him like a little duckling, just to make you feel a bit little safer

yeah, his attempts to distract and deter self-hate leave you flustered, but slowly you catch yourself being kinder to yourself

and, for that, you can’t complain about your irritating, but loving boyfriend

—-

tags: @cherryonigiri