#I’m so glad they invented a sandwich for girls

[babymetaldoll]

"From daddy to dad" (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

Summary: Matthew Gray has to stop acting like a kid around his son, and start being a dad. Or at least that's how reader feels.

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader

Category: A little Angst, but at the end this is undercover fluff

Warnings: Zero, I think

A/N: I have no idea how a three years old talks, so let's all pretend this is accurate, ok? :D

Word count: 2,1K

Masterlist

-

Being seven months pregnant isn't comfortable at all. Especially when you can't move at a normal pace. Lucky for (Y/N), her husband Matthew was home to help her whenever she needed him. He was glad to take some time off and spend more time with her, considering he worked most of the time during her last pregnancy.

Their little three years old son was very excited to become an older brother. He was the sunshine of the house... except when he made a mess, and her mother would call him by his full name.

- "Vincent Gray Gubler!!"- (Y/N) yelled, watching her son covered in purple paint, running around the living room, making a mess.

- "What are you doing?!"- she wanted to cry. Everything had paint on it. Everything. And her son wouldn't stop running.

- "I'm painting the room, mommy!"

Under normal circumstances, (Y/N) would have laughed. Really. But she was too tired that day. She had just bathed the boy after he had played with mud and made a mess in the backyard. And now, he was a mess again!

- "Matthew! can you help me?"

- "What is it, Bunny..."- he yelled from the second floor

- "I need a hand here"

- "I'm coming!"- he shouted in a funny voice, and their son giggled as he heard him- "Hey!! There you are! I was wondering where my little helper had gotten!!"

Matthew Gray Gubler walked to his wife, covered in paint, making a mess the whole way over. Like father, like son.

- "What are you doing?"- (Y/N) wanted to cry. She knew she was going to be the one cleaning that mess.

- "We were going to paint the baby's room, but we thought it would be a good idea to add a personal touch, so we started marking our hands on the wall. And then we did our feet... and tummies"- Matthew smiled, proud. But his wife wasn't as excited as he was.

- "I had just bathed him."

- "I can do it! don't worry, Bunny!"- he walked to (Y/N) and kissed her forehead- "I'll clean baby Peanut, and then I'll take care of this whole mess, you just go to rest for a while, ok"

- "Can you handle bath time?"- (Y/N) raised an eyebrow staring into her husband's eyes. She could look at him forever and never get tired. Gubler smiled and pecked her lips.

- "I'm gonna be fine. You go out to the backyard, enjoy some "alone time," because I'm gonna take care of everything."

(Y/N) wanted to believe him so bad. But there was a little voice inside her head (called experience) that kept telling her that was a bad idea.

- "Call me if you need me, ok?"- she said and looked at her son still running around the living room, dripping purple paint everywhere- "Did you give him sugar?"

Gubler was busted.

- "We shared a tiny chocolate bar..."- he whispered and smiled at his wife- "But don't worry! I've got it!"- she sighed, defeated, and shook her head.

- "Daddy! Daddy! daddy!"- Vincent yelled and hugged his father's- "Can we watch tv?"

- "Sure, Peanut, but first we have to take a bath"- Gubler held his son in his arms and started walking upstairs.

- "I don't wanna!"- he argued immediately. (Y/N) sighed and walked to their backyard. Matthew said he was going to take care of everything.

And to be fair, Matthew really tried to take care of everything. But the problem was simple: Sometimes, he wasn't really a dad; he acted like a kid. He loved his son so much, he could spoil him rotten, and (Y/N) would end up mad at the two of them.

For example, instead of bathing Vincent, the kid convinced him to play for a while. So, they had sat in his little playroom to play with his trains, leaving paint everywhere. And then, they snacked, 'cos the little boy got hungry and wanted a peanut butter sandwich.

- "Ok boo, it's time now"- he said when he noticed almost an hour had passed- "Let's take that bath"

- "No, dad. I want a movie"

- "Your mom is going to get mad if she finds out you haven't taken your bath"- but Vincent frowned and pouted.

- "Please daddy"- Matthew looked at him and sighed

- "Just five minutes of tv, then it's bath time"

That kid had him wrapped around his finger.

He had always wanted to have kids. And the day (Y/N) told him she was pregnant, he couldn't believe it. He kissed her with tears in his eyes and rubbed her belly, giggling.

- "I don't have a baby bump yet"- she whispered, feeling her lips against his as she spoke.

- "I know, but now that I know baby Gubler is in there, I am going to rub that belly forever"

And he really did. During the forty weeks, he talked every day to the belly. Sometimes he would read children's books or simply tell his son about his day and all the games he was going to play with him as soon as he was born. Matthew Gray Gubler was tailor-made to be a father. He just needed to start being one.

-

- "Of course"- (Y/N) whispered and widened her eyes as soon as she set foot inside the house after an hour. The living room was still a mess, and the paint was now dry on the floor and furniture. The kitchen was a battlefield, bread, peanut butter, and jelly everywhere.

- "Matthew?"

- "In the bathroom"

(Y/N) opened the door and found her husband and son taking a bath together. It was adorable, except for the fact it was all a mess. The floor was all wet, water mixed with paint everywhere.

- "Mommy! Dad made bubbles!"- Tommy was thrilled and kept splashing water all over.

- "That's great, boo!"- she smiled at her son, and he clapped, excited.

- "I'm gonna clean this up"- Matthew said right away, reading his wife's face- "I swear, bunny, it just took me a little longer to convince him to take a bath, but I'm cleaning everything as soon as we get out of here"

(Y/N) nodded, closed the door behind her back, and walked to the master bedroom. She needed a nap, 'cos she knew what was coming.

This wasn't the first time Matthew had promised he would take care of everything, to then simply spend all his time spoiling his son. (Y/N) knew that would happen from the first minute he said he was going to clean. And she wouldn't usually make a big deal out of it, but she was starting to feel tired of always being the bad cop. Gubler was the fun parent, and she was the one who just made the rules.

And it made her sad and mad. But mostly sad.

Of course, the three of them had fun together. They would make magic shows and play with puppets. They invented stories, did picnics in the backyard, baked and decorated many cakes and cookies, watched movies, and napped together. They really enjoyed their time as parents with their little son.

But each time they had to clean up, Matthew acted like another kid, who ended up making a bigger mess. Their son would follow and mimic everything his father did. And so, (Y/N) was the bad one, who killed the fun and forced them to do chores.

She hated that.

Matthew had no idea his wife felt that way. If he had known, he would have cleaned the living room earlier. And wouldn't have made such a big mess in the kitchen. The bathroom would be spotless. And not just that day, he would have stopped being a kid months ago. But he hadn't realized what was going on.

When Matthew finally took his son out of the bathtub and dress him, he was exhausted. Taking care of a kid was a lot of work. And he couldn't imagine how it would be with their little girl there too.

He managed to put his son to bed for a nap and tiptoed to the master bedroom to put an eye on his wife.

- "Hey Bunny, I thought you were sleeping"- he laid next to her and kissed her cheek softly. Her eyes were puffy from crying- "What is it? Are you ok? Why are you sad, baby?"- Matthew's voice was soft and caring. Soothing. (Y/N) closed her eyes for a second and waited for a few seconds before answering, 'cos she didn't want to start crying.

- "Bunny, are you ok? you are worrying me, should I call the doctor or..."

- "I just don't want our kid to hate me"- she murmured and broke into tears.

- "No, babe, why would he? he loves you so much"- Gubler hugged her and kissed her forehead sweetly- "He could never hate you"

- "I am always the bad one, and you are the fun dad!"- Matthew was honestly confused

- "What are you talking about? you are not the bad one"

- "I bet when boo doesn't want to do something, you threat him saying, "mommy is going to get mad", don't you?"

- "Of course not!"- Matthew denied it right away, but (Y/N) frowned, still sobbing- "Ok, I don't threaten him like that. I tell him what he is doing will make the two of us mad"

- "I'm the bad cop, Gubler, and I don't want him to grow up afraid I'm always going to be upset"

- "Why are you thinking all this?"

- "Because I'm upset!"- she finally said and sat down on the bed- "Every time you have to step up and be a father, you act like you are Vincent playdate, not a grown-up!"

- "What?"- Matthew sat next to (Y/N) and held her hand. He could see she was angry, but somehow, it looked more like sadness and frustration.

- "Gub, I love you. When I married you, I told you every flaw you think you have is my favorite thing about you, 'cos you are perfect for me."

She made a pause, feeling how her husband's thumb wiped off the tears from her cheeks, carefully.

- "But?"- he whispered

- "But I don't wanna be the only one telling boo he has to brush his teeth or take a bath, or being mad when he makes a mess..."- (Y/N) pouted again, and Matthew sighed. He never really thought she felt that way.

- "I know you love him more than anything in the whole world, but another way to love him is making ground rules for him"- she continued- "I just don't wanna be bad guy, you are so awesome and fun, and I'm who always ruins the party" (Y/N)'s chin quivered, and Gubler hugged her immediately- "Maybe it's the hormones, but..."

- "No, Bunny, you are right. I'm a softy dad with him..."

- "I don't want you to turn into a drill sergeant. I just want you on my side when he doesn't clean his room."- Gubler looked at his wife, and his heart ached- "And please, don't leave me cleaning every mess on my own to keep on playing with him"

Matthew was about to argue, but he couldn't. There were too many examples around the house to prove it. The living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, and the playroom she still hadn't seen, but that he knew was a disaster.

- "I'm on your side, Bunny, I swear. And to prove it to you I'm gonna make you a cup of herbal tea, I'll bring you your book, and then I'll leave you here to rest while I clean the house and make dinner"- he kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her lips and the tip of her nose- "I just don't want you to be sad"

- "I don't wanna make you feel like a crappy dad, 'cos you are the best. Boo is so lucky to have you. And this little Bean is going to be so happy with you"- (Y/N) rubbed her belly and felt Matthew kissing her again.

- "Our kids are lucky to have you as their mom, and I am lucky to have you in my life every day."- (Y/N) smiled, finally, and held his face with both hands.

- "Let's call it even, though I have the feeling I am more lucky 'cos you are bringing me tea and cookies... and maybe a little chocolate."- Matthew chuckled and nodded.

- "Whatever my wife needs."

- "I love you Gubs"

- "I love you too, bunny"

- "I'm glad I'm gonna see you go from daddy to dad"- he stared in silence and ran his tongue through his lips- "What?"- but Matthew didn't answer. He smiled for a second and then slowly leaned in and whispered.

- "In this room, there's no dad. Here I am always your daddy".    

[dakotacrisis]

Topsy Turvy (2)

Welp, I guess I am expanding on this. I may have already been planning to write a part 2 but I wasn’t expecting to do it this quickly. While I am doing my own thing with the content initially inspired by the previous comic I did steal one of Plagg’s lines from their continuation comic cause it was too funny to be ignored.

So anyhoo! Here’s a part two!

---

“Geez, you would think Hawkmoth would give us one morning off,” Alya groaned. Marinette, Nino, and Alya had been heading towards the station to meet Adrien when that giant robot akuma came out of nowhere.

Now the girls returned to a worried looking Nino who embraced Alya happily. Marinette lingered a bit away from them looking pale and sweaty. Alya sighed and went back to comfort her. “Don’t worry, girl, I’m sure things with Adrien will work out.”

“Yeah...about that…”

The train slid into the station. The doors opened and people started flooding out. Marinette grabbed Alya’s arm and pulled her down to whisper in her ear. “I freaked out seeing Adrien while I was Ladybug and might have, sort of, asked him out to the movies.”

“As Ladybug?”

“Yeah.”

“What is wrong with you! That wasn’t the plan! You were going to do that only if he rejected you as Marinette!”

“I know but I didn’t want to get rejected so I jumped the gun. Do you think this will mess things up?”

“I don’t know! We don’t know what his reply is gonna be. What did he say after you asked him out?”

“Nothing. I left before he could answer.”

“I love you but I am going to kill you.” Alya pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Heads up,” Nino called for the girls’ attention, “I can see Adrien.”

“I’m gonna make a run for it.” Marinette took two steps before Alya pounced on her and forced her back.

“You dug this grave, now lie in it.” Alya grabbed her arm and pulled her down the platform towards Adrien.

Adrien was walking in a dazed state and his face was beet red. He almost walked completely past them before Nino hooked an arm around his shoulders. "Hey dude! It's great to have you back."

"Oh hi, Nino," Adrien snapped out of his daze, "You didn't have to come meet me."

"Sure we did," the three of them started walking back out of the station. Adrien clung close to Nino as he told them about his trip. His gaze kept flickering down to Marinette who walked in step with Alya. Nino would have found it funny if it wasn’t for the fact that Marinette looked like she wanted to melt into the ground.

After their initial phone call two weeks ago Adrien had been really quiet about the whole confession thing. He sent lots of pictures from his trip and talked to him but anything having to do with Marinette was nonexistent. He figured he was working through his feelings on his own. It may have been because Marinette was his friend or Alya’s aggressive shipping of the two but he hoped Adrien chose her. They really were made for each other.

The girls left early and Nino invited Adrien back to his place to hang out. "I'm glad you had fun on your trip. You must have had a lot on your mind regardless."

"A lot on my mind?"

"We were gonna have to talk about it at some point," Nino collapsed into a beanbag chair, "About Marinette?"

Adrien went rigid. "Ma-Marinette? What about Marinette?"

Nino looked at him deadpanned. "Dude, she confessed to you? Remember?"

"Yeah," Adrien sat down next to him, "I remember."

"So did you come to a decision while you were away?" Nino asked.

"Not really, I keep flip-flopping about it. I know being with Marinette would be the easier option and she's great. I would be lucky to call her my girlfriend."

"But?"

"I still really love Ladybug and after what happened today…"

"What happened today?"

Adrien recounted to Nino about the akuma and how Ladybug and Rena Rouge saved him. Then how Ladybug had asked him out to see a movie.

"HOLY CRAP!" Nino gaped, "Ladybug asked you out? Why didn’t you lead with that?"

"I guess because I was still processing it happened." Adrien leaned back so he was staring up at the ceiling, "It feels like I'm dreaming. I'm happy but it also confused me more."

"I wouldn't blame you for being confused. Having a friend confess to you and then your crush asking you out...it's a lot to think of."

"I feel like the answer should be obvious. But it doesn't feel that way anymore."

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know. Marinette said she wasn’t expecting an answer but I still owe her something. I don’t even know how serious Ladybug was with her invitation. She could have just been messing with me but I don’t really see casual flirting as something she would do.” Adrien pondered it some more. Nino could see the gears turning in his head.

“I’d like to see you and Marinette together but I can’t force you to be with her. If it turns out Ladybug is who you really want then that’s okay too. Marinette’s strong and for the most part it sounds like she just wanted to let you know she had feelings for you. You don’t have to feel guilty about either option. I hope you know that.”

“You’re so sagely. It’s throwing me off,” Adrien laughed, “Go back to saying dude and talking through a mouth full of hot cheetos please. But seriously though, thanks for talking with me about this. It helps.”

“I’m always here for you, brother,” Nino tossed him a controller, “Now let me whip your butt in Mario Kart.”

---

Adrien returned home after a few rounds of Mario Kart with Nino. He was already pushing things with his father by going off with his friends earlier instead of heading straight home. He received a cool welcome from his father when he walked inside the mansion before he was gone again. At least he had deigned to greet him when he got home. That’s more than what he expected out of him.

He climbed the stairs to his room. “Alright, you can come out now,” Adrien told Plagg.

“You couldn’t have snuck me some cheetos while you were hanging out with your friend?” Plagg whined, “I’m starving!”

“There were three full camembert tins as well as an emergency string cheese in my bag. How are you starving?”

“I ate those on the ride back to Paris. Now I’m hungry again!” Plagg crawled across Adrien’s bed, “I’m so weak, Adrien. I can hardly move. Everything around me is going dark. I can hear the angels singing.”

“You are a menace.” Adrien picked him up and tossed him into his cheese cabinet. “Happy?”

“I feel rejuvenated!” Plagg cackled as he dove head first into a new tin of camembert. Adrien rolled his eyes and closed the cabinet door.

He went to the window and looked out over the lights of the city. He couldn’t wait to be back running across that skyline. Two weeks without being Chat Noir had been torture. Ladybug assured him that she and Rena had things covered when he told her he was going away for a bit. Still, it didn’t stop him from feeling guilty about it.

Maybe he could tear Plagg away from his cheese hoard for a quick jaunt around town. Maybe he’d even see Ladybug.

Oh Ladybug. All this time he had been trying and failing to woo her as Chat Noir and then without any prompting she asked Adrien out. He still wasn’t sure if she was serious. How badly he hoped that she was though. He wanted it to be real. He wanted Ladybug to love him. Now it looked like he had a chance at that but there was only one snag. Marinette.

Sweet and wonderful Marinette. He already broke her heart as Chat Noir. Could he stand to do it again as Adrien? He really didn’t want to but neither did he want to leave her in suspense of an answer. He wished things could be simpler.

He thought back to what Plagg said on the train and scoffed. “Monogamy is a concept invented by humans.” he repeated it back to himself, “As much as I would love to be in the middle of a Ladybug/Marinette sandwich I don’t think that’s an option. I think I would combust at the mere possibility.”

He pressed his head to the cool window and sighed. His eyes fluttered close. He should just go to bed at this point. He would stay up all night worrying himself into knots about what to do at this rate. He opened his eyes once more and fell back with a startled yelp.

“Oops, sorry,” Ladybug waved at him upside down through the glass, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Oh no, no you’re fine.” Adrien shot to his feet, “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” she righted herself and perched on top of his open window, “I wanted to come by and talk to you. I realize I kind of gave you a shock today during the akuma attack. The whole asking you to go to a movie thing.”

“Right, yeah, I was certainly surprised.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. Ladybug was in his room! Okay, she was sitting on his window but that was still in his room. “I gotta know, were you being serious or were you just fooling with me? I won’t be mad if you were but I just wanna know.”

“Yeah, about that,” he could swear he saw Ladybug blushing. Ladybug was blushing around him! “I did mean what I said. I think you’re a nice guy and I know that we haven’t ever interacted that much but I like you. I have no idea what you think of me but now you know what I think of you. So...thoughts?”

“I think you’re amazing.” Adrien answered without hesitation. His feet brought him closer to the window so he could better gaze up at her. Her head was silhouetted in moonlight casting a bright white halo around her dark hair. Her eyes sparkled like stars as she gazed stared back at him. Her lips slightly parted and her cheeks pink.

Adrien cleared his throat and spoke again. “I’ve actually had a crush on you for ages. I had trouble believing anything would come of it though.”

“Oh really?” Ladybug smirked, “Ages you say?”

Adrien’s mouth went dry. He nodded his head.

“Well if that ain’t a kick in the head,” she chuckled softly, “I’ve had a crush on you too.”

Wait. Hold up! Ladybug had a crush on him? He knew that she liked him but a crush? For how long? Adrien’s mind flashed back to when Ladybug told him she was in love with someone else. Was the someone else Adrien? Had he been getting rejected all this time because Ladybug was already in love with him?

“Adrien?” Ladybug waved a hand in front of his face, “Did I lose you? Was that too forward? I’m sorry if it was.”

“No! I’m just really happy!” Adrien blurted out. “I...I uh…if you still want I would like to go to that movie with you.”

Ladybug smiled. “Great. Are you free tomorrow?”

“I will be,” he would move the heavens themselves in order to be free if so needed.

“Awesome. They’re doing a classic movie night at the theater tomorrow. We could see the original La Belle et la Bete or Citizen Kane or Roman Holiday.”

“Aren’t they playing Psycho as well?”

“A horror movie?” Ladybug’s eyes widened. “I mean if that’s what you want to see...well um…”

“Wait,” Adrien said, “Are you--are you scared of horror movies?”

“Yeah, I know, big bad hero Ladybug gets scared watching horror movies. Laugh it up.” she shook her head.

“I wasn’t laughing. I wasn’t!” Adrien couldn’t help but smile though. He learned something new about her. “La Belle et la Bete sounds nice. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the original. I’ve only seen the Disney version and the live action remake they did back in 2014.”

 “Well then,” Ladybug twisted her yo-yo around in her hands. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow evening for our date.”

“Can’t wait.” Adrien was smiling like a fool. Ladybug gave him another wave goodbye before leaping off into the night. Adrien watched from the open window with a dreamy smile on his face. He had a date with Ladybug!

Then his heart sunk. He was gonna have to reject Marinette now. He hoped she wouldn’t take it too hard.

---

“I have a date with Adrien! I have a date with Adrien!” Marinette danced around her room. The kwamis were all out and celebrating with her. Alya sat on the chaise with a knowing smile. This wasn’t what Alya had planned but it looked like it worked out in the end. She had never seen Marinette so happy.

“Oh no,” Marinette stopped abruptly. “I have a date with Adrien!”

She ran to her closet and started pulling out clothes. “What am I gonna wear? It’s a movie date so it shouldn’t be anything too fancy but I don’t want to look like a slob. Should I wear something warm if the theatre is cold? But with all that body heat it’s bound to be warm so should I dress lighter? Alya, what do you think?”

“I think that you’re going as Ladybug so what you have on under your costume won’t make much of a difference.” Alya was trying not to laugh.

“Oh right,” Marinette threw her clothes back down, “Forgot about that part.”

“And you’re okay with dating Adrien as Ladybug? You don’t think that’s gonna cause any problems down the road? If you want this relationship to go anywhere in the future you’ll need to tell him who you are.”

“I know, but that isn’t for a good long while. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

The words of a fool in love. Alya decided to let her have her moment and not say anything. Tomorrow night would be interesting indeed.

---

(Previous) (Next)

[thebirdandhersong]

Favourite moments from s1-s2

probably all of them tbh

Team Bonding through dangerous missions, near-death experiences, and working frantically to save each other

Fitz and Simmons and the way they name their inventions (the night-night gun, using the names of the dwarves from Snow White, etc.)

Coulson showing off Lola’s special functions like a proud father

“Why are you doing this? Where is the I-told-you-so?” + “That’s not me anymore. I’m just glad you’re alive”

Jemma and Fitz’s high five after they prank Skye

May’s prank :) and her little smile when Fitz is INDIGNANT and DEMANDING to know who did it

Coulson risking his life and staying with Diaz because he knows that Diaz is terrified and needs someone with him

Jemma fussing over Fitz before his two-man mission with Ward

the girls going undercover at the Hub to save “our boys” when they find out that there is no extraction team

Skye tucking Hannah into bed :’)

Skye seeing people when they’re out of danger and going right for them to give them a hug (Jemma, Hannah, Coulson, etc.)

May telling Coulson that she’s been in on the whole Fury thing because she cares about him (and also how genuinely upset and hurt she is when Coulson doesn’t believe her... because she does care for him very deeply and in that part of the story she’s lost his trust)

Fitz and Simmons's arguments/banter over things like monkeys, etc.

when Coulson notices how distressed Skye is after she finds out about her past and holds her hand while they’re on the plane

Skye pretending to be May (complete with sunglasses and leather jacket)

“I hate undercover” + Skye/Fitz/Jemma/Coulson undercover shenanigans (with Jemma’s very elaborate backstory and Skye’s improvisations) + Coulson’s little smile of bewilderment and pride when Jemma starts shouting some alarmingly specific details about ‘his’ private life at him

the fact that the first person May sees and looks for and runs towards when she’s off the train (during a mission) is Coulson (and not Ward, even though their relationship up to that point has been...... strange)

Fitz being gentle and kind to Donnie even after he’s told that it’s all been a trap

“You weren���t weak. You had compassion. That’s harder.” (!!!!)

May and Coulson going on undercover adventures together (complete with costumes and chirpy personalities)

Eric questioning everyone and Fitz responding to the box question with “Simmons”

also: Simmons responding with “the TARDIS” (she would be an EXCELLENT Doctor Who companion)

Fitz going into the quarantine room to help Jemma + “We’re going to fix this. Together” 

Coulson saying that there HAS to be a third option for Mike Peterson

Jemma leaving the room to cry and Fitz knowing her well enough to follow her and embrace her

Fitz telling Ward that he can CHOOSE to be good, Fitz refusing to believe that Ward is completely evil

Fitz sacrificing himself for Jemma at the bottom of the ocean

Jemma refusing to let him do it (right before he does) and crying and kissing his face

the Mack and Fitz conversations post-coma

Skye making friends :’)

Mack shielding Fitz when the wall collapses

Fitz standing up for Skye after everyone finds out about her powers

everyone’s reaction when May and Coulson are undercover and they can hear May giggling in the background

Mike Peterson working with Coulson

all the Coulson and Skye reunion hugs

Fitz telling Ward that Coulson told him to take care of Ward, too

Jemma and Bobbi breaking out of HYDRA together

FITZ AND SKYE MOMENT (superior)

Ward’s reaction to Skye’s powers

how Everyone who had doubts about Coulson (especially Mack and Lance) come to love and respect him

Fitz finally getting to eat his sandwich (and later telling Jemma that it was really good)

Lincoln making Daisy ‘fly’

Bobbi dragging herself in front of the gun so that the automatically discharged bullet hits her instead of Lance

Bobbi waking up to find Lance sleeping on a chair beside her because he was waiting for her to wake up

the process of going from Skye (chosen name) to Daisy (given name) to Daisy Johnson (chosen name)

Skye’s last scene with her father (and her last scene as ‘Skye’)

[alternateafterthought]

Blood Moon

> Pairing: Werewolf Min Yoongi x Reader

> Summary: There were things Y/N loved and hated. Like any normal person, she loved and hated things. After adding something she once loved to her hate list, it's time for her to have a little fun. And Y/N's blood would allow her to have a lot of fun, as would anyone with powerful magic as she has. But is having fun with a werewolf worth it to a witch?

> Genre: Werewolf!au, romance, smut, angst, fluff, violence

> Warnings: Swearing,

> Word Count: 1511

> A/N: Hey guys... here is the first part of my Min Yoongi Werewolf fic!! This will be a series that will end up having all the BTS members!! But we are going to start with our SUGA!! I would really appreciate your feedback on this fic!! ALSO those who wish to be added to an eventual tag list, please leave a comment or an ask or message me!! Thank you so much for your support!!

Everyone has different love and hate things in their lives. Y/N personally loves Sal's over easy egg and sausage sandwich at Mama Mae's on the East side of town. Sal was Mama Mae's second husband and had the best recipe for sausage, also Y/N had a suspicion he might be a witch. Putting something only magic could bring out in his food, even if he swore up and down it was love.

Oh, right... Y/N had something she hated too. Hate is a strong word, and not to be used lightly in any situation. But fuck that. And fuck that man. He didn't even deserve to be remembered by name. Hate was a simple word to describe him.

And Y/N hated him.

Hated that he put her through this. Hated that everyone knew. Hated that they all know.

They were supposed to be her family. All they did was lie about the fact he was fucking some other chick and then talk about it like they were sorry for her.

Well fuck them.

Y/N was done trying to be the perfect girl. She was going to show them exactly who she really was, and show him exactly what he always missed out on. Y/N wasn't as stupid as they all thought she was, even if some of her decisions weren't always the best. They always turned out right in the end.

Violet and Sana, the only two women in the entire world who cared for Y/N, had both agreed to Y/N's plan. They didn't hesitate to bring out THE dress, pre-drinks now just 8 shots and counting. She looks well put together, a lot more nicer to look at then the mess she felt inside.

"Are you ready?" Violet ask as they stepped out of the uber, everyone lined on the streets looking at them.

It was obvious they didn't belong here. From the way their eyes almost glowed in the dark, from the tattoos that littered their skin. Anyone, even the humans in this town, knew what those markings meant.

What would witches be doing on this side of town?

"I'm so ready to forget my own name."

By 2am, Y/N was in full party mode. A thin layer of sweat covers every inch of expose skin, the last drink really had a buzz to it. Though Y/N had been adding a little something extra to her own drink, something only magic could add. And in the hopes of forgetting his name completely, getting that final break, a little magic was perfect.

The one thing that could completely ruin Y/N's night, just showed up.

He was tall, dark, handsome and so wrong. It was why she fell in love with him. He was so wrong and dangerous and everything her parents warned her against. And anything to rebel against her parents was always what she chose.

She should have listened to them.

"Y/N..." Sana now stood in front of Y/N, Violet holding onto her arm as they stood in the middle of the dance floor. "It's okay, right?"

"He can flaunt her and fuck her all he wants." Y/N looked between her two concerned best friends. "Tonight is about letting go."

"You want another drink?" Sana asked with a knowing smile.

"Or do you want that wolf who hasn't stopped staring at you since we walked in?" Violet gestured behind Y/N.

Y/N followed Violet's line of sight over her shoulder and caught the eyes of someone very powerful. Everyone in this town knows the 7. The unmistakable intensity that could only be Min Yoongi stared at her.

Y/N wouldn't say it was unfortunate, but there was a history there that not even Y/N wanted to touch tonight. She knew why he seeked her, why he seemed to be calling her with his eyes, but what's a girl to do?

With the look of the biggest mistake of her life, walking her way with a cocky smile. It was safer for her to move towards Yoongi who sat in a VIP section with the rest of the 7. Each of them seeming to enjoy the night, dancing, drinks being passed around, women throwing themselves at them.

A few knowing steps away from her friends, Y/N smirked at them, their code kicking in. They didn't have to look for her anymore, they just had to enjoy their night. She would handle herself. Y/N was a big girl.

Before Y/N could fully make her way towards the 7, someone reached out and gripped her arm. Y/N knew who it was, she could smell him. It used to be the most calming smell in the world to her. Now it was just bitter and made her sick.

"Y/N..."

Y/N ripped her arm out of his grasp, turning face to face with the man in question. He at least had the decency to look sad. It just didn't reach his eyes.

"What?" Y/N eyed him, not caring that the closest people to them had stopped, trying to listen in on the obvious tension.

"What are you doing here?" He ask. "You know your not allowed here."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, leaning back on her right leg, hands on her hips. The skin tight dress a second skin, helping to keep her body together, keeping her heart from bursting out of her chest. The heels she wore making her the same height as the man in front of her.

"Oh baby..." Y/N smiled mischievously. "You really don't know... do you?"

"Know what?" He asked confused.

"3 years. 3 years together and your still so stupid." Y/N shook her head, her hair moving, slightly stuck to her sweaty body.

"Is there a problem here?" The deep, familiar voice asked from behind her.

Everything around seemed to become quiet. Y/N just realised the music had stopped playing, the drinks had stopped flowing. Y/N saw that Sana and Violet stood closer to her, eyeing the fact that this idiot in front of her actual bought friends. He really bought witches to a wolf bar.

"Who are you?" He asked the man behind behind Y/N.

Y/N just sighed before the man moved closer to her, placing a hand around her waist. He pulled Y/N towards him, and Y/N let him. She knew the game. She helped invent the game. It was the only thing to save her now.

"He a friend of yours?" Yoongi's deep voice ask in Y/N's ear, loud enough for him to hear.

"No," Y/N finally turned to look at Yoongi, so close to her. "Just a mistake."

"You have one chance to ask him to leave. Or I ask him." Yoongi warned, Y/N saw the rest of his pack moving to back him up.

"He's not my business." Y/N shrugged, looking back at the obviously angry man in front of them. "I'll be sitting over there."

Yoongi saw Y/N point towards where he had been sitting. He was just glad she didn't blame him. He would do anything to give his life up for Y/N to have her sister back.

Y/N saw it, she saw it before every wolf in the club did. He thought he was quick, thought he was sly enough to get away with it. Yet everyone seemed to forget... Y/N was the one everyone should fear.

His power flared, his eyes, his markings, his hands glowed a violent green. He surged forward and attacked Yoongi as Y/N stepped out of the way. But Y/N is quicker, she was always quicker. Spinning and holding up her hands, a vibrant purple blocking him.

Yoongi, Violet, Sana, the 7, the entire club of wolves were in shock. A witch princess just protected a wolf against another witch.

He knew, Y/N knew, he would never be able to beat her in any fight. She could easily kick his ass as a joke. So how would he be in a fight against the woman he cheated on, made a joke out of. He'd never survive.

"You have a no magic rule on the premise, right?" Y/N asked, her hands still glowing purple, letting everyone know her status.

"We have a no attack rule." Yoongi's hands were now on Y/N's waist, moving her to the side, but not out of her shield to block him. "He has to be disposed of."

"Dude, I told you not to use your magic here." One of his friends whispered, panicking.

"It's okay. We'll leave." Another of his friends spoke as they backed away, pulling him along.

He realised only then, that Y/N was completely welcomed and protected here. Witch princess or not, she was friends with these wolves, with the 7. He was just a simple, lower witch, lucky to be accepted and nurtured in her coven.

He knew he messed up, and he couldn't turn back time to erase what he did. All he could do was walk out of the club, looking back at the woman he stupidly let go. The woman who was in the arms and protection of the 7.

The woman protected by the feared Min Yoongi.

[quasieli]

The Other Side of the Tree

[AO3 Link]

Just on the other side of the tree waited a world Vilya had not seen in nearly three decades. She looked back to the halfling woman, who gave her a reassuring smile as she stepped through and rejoined her old life.

///

What could be said about a night like tonight? The air around Zephrah was beginning to warm, mixing with the cool breeze wafting from the tides below the mountainous peaks. It was a gentle sort of heat, one that welcomed bared skin and the jovial freedom of the summer months. While the changing of seasons may have just been an ordinary part of the passing year for most, to the Ashari, it meant so much more. Each of the four elemental clans celebrated the solstices and equinoxes in their own special ways, but one thing was constant between all these celebrations; community. The population of the likes Zephrah and Terrah were minuscule compared to some of the grander cities of Tal'dorei, but this built intimacy amongst the communities. Even if the inhabitants weren't all related by blood, every one was family.

While the festivities that took place every year remained much of the same, there was still much planning to do to make sure it was as joyous as it was every year. While many members of the town sorted their own smaller traditions, it was Keyleth, the young Half-Elven leader of the Air Ashari, who took the reigns on handling the grander displays. This was a job that Keyleth had enjoyed doing every single year, even in the years before her coronation as the Voice of the Tempest. Change, while scary, was something Keyleth thought beautiful and joyous, and it was always her honor to help bring in the season to her people.

There was nearly a week until the festivities began and on this particular night Keyleth, along with her father and a small group of other volunteers, made their way to southern edge of the town, where a small outdoor proscenium was being set to host the start of the festivities. This night was a dress rehearsal of sorts, with Keyleth not simply bounding around doing all her normal planning duties, but doing it while also cloaked in her large, vibrant ceremonial mantle. As she paced about, making sure everything was up to standard, her father eyed her nervously. Korrin knew there was no stopping his daughter when she set her heart to something, he wouldn't dream of breaking her down like that, but that didn't stop him from worrying as he saw her skin looking a little paler than usual.

Attempting to be surreptitious, Korrin slowly approached his daughter, stood at the end of the small stage, flipping through a multi-paged check list. He hummed gently before placing a hand upon her shoulder, hoping not to startle her. Keyleth barely seemed phased by the gesture, only turning to look as her father cleared his throat. "Oh, hi dad! Need any help with anything?"

Korrin choked back a somewhat incredulous laugh, simply smiling at his daughter instead. "You've done enough, my dear. I was actually going to suggest we take a bit of a break, the group could use it."

Keyleth eyed the small gathered crowd stood in the seating area, they all seemed to be minding their own business as Keyleth worked. Confused, she turned an eye back to her father and could see the slight knit in his brow, and understood what he really meant.

"Of course, dad."

Korrin let out a sigh of relief, he was glad to see she was finally learning to actually take a break.

"I just have one last thing to test!"

Or not.

Making her way over to the center of the stage, Keyleth’s stride came to a halt at the sudden appearance of a cramp, clutching the back of her left thigh as she fell to a knee. Her father was quickly behind her, worry immediately set in his face. “Keyleth! Are you okay?” He placed a hand upon her shoulder, readying to help her up, but took pause as he realized she needed a moment.

Keyleth groaned, kneading at the tense muscle beneath her fingers. She hissed through her teeth as the ache slowly faded, responding, “I’m fine, dad... dad?”

Keyleth turned as she felt her father’s hand leave her shoulder; he was staring at something, so were the others. Time seemed to freeze as Keyleth turned her eyes to the spectacle they all beheld. Some twenty feet away stood an ancient tree, one that nearly rivaled the famous Sun Tree of Whitestone in its grand size. Keyleth watched as a line of white light zipped down its ruddy bark, a sight she was familiar with, even if she had not seen it in some time.

Quickly she got to her feet, her muscles stiffening once more, but this time in the defensive. Her body then relaxed as she saw only a single figure walk through, letting out a heavy sigh of relief. At least it was good to see that her reflexes were still top notch.

Still, there was the question: who was stepping through?

The first thing that caught her eye was the vibrant vines that took the place of the figure’s left leg, immaculate and sturdy as evidence by the creature’s smooth movement. No, not smooth, not even confident. The figure seemed to hesitate momentarily as they stepped through the tree, but it was not due to a lack of balance or faith in the constructed appendage. As Keyleth’s eyes made their way up to the figure’s face, a wave of gasps and murmurs set over the small crowd. By the time her eyes had adjusted to the sight, she realized there was no mistaking who this was.

Without a second thought, Keyleth hopped off the small stage and ran forward, tightly embracing the mother she had not seen in nearly three decades. The warmth of her sun darkened skin, the smell of sea salt in her hair, the erratic fluttering of a still beating heart; she was too real for this to be a dream. It wasn’t long before another force pressed into Keyleth’s back, the feeling of a hug from her father was unmistakable

Father, mother, their daughter in between. The trio stood wrapped in each other’s arms for a long moment, not a word spoken, but many tears had already been shed. When Korrin finally released Keyleth from the sandwich between him and her mother, he stood back momentarily, his hands on both of Vilya’s shoulders. Through his tear streaked vision he took her in, reacquainting himself with every beautiful feature of her face. He didn’t really need to, his daughter was nearly a mirror image, but it didn’t hurt to convince him that this was all really real. Still, he ran a thumb along her cheek to brush away a tear, gently cupping the cheek and holding it as he continued to marvel.

Vilya was the first to speak, breaking the silence with a simple, “Hello" as she nuzzled deeper into her husband's hand. The simple greeting made Keyleth choke back sobs once more, cupping her hands over her mouth as if to stop it from making any noise. Vilya looked to her daughter and chuckled, "Keyleth..."

After a moment, Keyleth's arms fell limp to her sides. "Mama..." the word was barely a creak in her sob strained throat, but it was more than enough for Vilya to begin to tear up once again. Keyleth remained limp as her mother came in for another hug, letting her mother take her into her arms and hold her. She felt like a child, but not in the ways that she had always hated. When others mistook her naivete for immaturity, that brewed an angry fire in her stomach. But this, this was a youth Keyleth had dreamed of for decades, and even though those days were long gone, she was very glad to at least momentarily go back to them.

Resting her head on her mother's shoulder, Keyleth creaked once more, "You came back."

Vilya hummed warmly, the low rumble in her chest vibrating through Keyleth, "I always said I would."

Korrin, still in shock, stood beside the pair, just watching on, agape. After a few more moments of baffled silence, he nervously piped up, "That's a nice piece of druid crafting you got there."

Vilya turned to her husband, still holding her daughter tightly under one arm, and saw he was looking towards her leg. "Ah, yes... well, what is it they say? Necessity is the mother of invention."

Looking down, Keyleth's eyes bulged as she now took in the sight of her mother's natural prosthetic, curiously eyeing it. "You made that!? Mom, that's insane!"

Vilya chuckled, finally taking in a moment to take in the breadth of her daughter. Her daughter, The Voice of the Tempest.  "By the looks of you, I would think something like this would look quite gauche."

"Please, mom! That's so cool! You have to show me how to do... oh! I know a kid in Terrah who could really use something like this, I could present one to Pa'tice next time we have a tribunal..." As Keyleth continued to ramble on, Vilya watched with warm reverence. She was gone for over twenty years, she had been so afraid everything would feel so different, and yet, she already felt like she was home. Things had changed, sure, but her family remained.

Finding a moment in her daughter's excitement to interject, Vilya began, "We have a lot we have to talk about. I have... many stories to share."

"As do I," Keyleth replied, bright eyed, but with a new adopted air of wisdom surrounding it. Vilya was overjoyed to see that mantle upon her shoulders, it couldn't fit her better. She knew the woman she was seeing before her was her daughter, but she was also the leader of their people, something she must have worked very hard to achieve. Vilya had been worried she was going to see a stranger when she looked to Keyleth, but the joy and exuberance behind those eyes had not faded. She had grown immensely into a fine young woman, but she was elated to see that she still knew her girl.

"I can't wait to hear them all. I have a few I'd like to tell you soon, and I think I'd like to start with the most recent."

[cela-astral-projection]

A/N: Cute little birthday fic for Muriel. Fluff. No warnings. Cela’s birthday is 9/20 so, ever practical, they just have one little family party. 

"Helia, if you don't stop eating the frosting, this is going to be quite a miserable little cake," Celeste chided gently from her place at the stove. Carefully stirring the wild blueberries and sugar into a compote. She was met with a giggle and shook her head. If she was honest, she had made extra to accommodate the numerous taste testers that made their rounds through the kitchen. But, the twins were testing the limits of her foresight.

"When will the cake be done, mama?" Vira said from her spot on the couch, laying on her belly, nose stuck in a book.

"It will be done in a few hours. But you'll eat it after dinner." She reminded, earning an exasperated groan from both girls. Celeste turned to look at the two of them, arms folded across her chest. "Listen, you've had a lovely, big breakfast, and enough frosting to keep you running for a good few hours until lunch is ready. Why don't you go bother the birthday boy so I can get this finished?"

"Ugh, papa will make us do chores," Helia whined, white curls bouncing as she let her head drop back dramatically.

"And what a wonderful birthday gift it will be to have an extra few sets of hands so he can get done early. Relax on his special day," Cela replied, reaching out to wipe away sugary confection from her mouth's corner. "Many hands make light work, and all that."

It took another twenty or so minutes for Helia to begrudgingly find her shoes and trudge out the door. Still, Vira pleaded to finish her chapter before she went to join her sister. After a few minutes of quiet, she gave an imploring, "Mama?" At work with a serrated blade on the cake rounds, Celeste made a low noise of confirmation for her to continue. "Do you like sharing your birthday with papa?"

"I suspect I like it a good deal more than you and Helia enjoy sharing your birthday," she replied, eying the layer to ensure a flat top. "It's just easier, I think. Since our birthdays are so close, to knock it all out in one fell swoop. Saves me from making another cake in a week."

Vira watched her mother as she focused her attention on the cake. "Maybe you like sharing birthdays, because you're a twin, too."

Celeste was glad to be facing away, so Vira couldn't see her flinch. "Perhaps, Darling." She replied simply, then fell quiet. Ever since the girls had learned they had an uncle, they had torrents of questions, for which Cela had no answers. A name. Aric "Aedan" Axel Vernersson. Some journal entries that alluded to him. Information that Nadia had given to her that she hadn't the heart to look at. Then there were the dreams...

She heaved a sigh, then turned to Vira with a faint smile. "Go on now. There's a reason bookmarks were invented."

---

Celeste was transfixed with her work, piping tiny finials on the cake when she was embraced from behind. She gave a quiet noise of surprise as strong arms pulled her back, and a chin hooked over her shoulder. Stubble brushed her cheek, and she smiled, leaning into the embrace.

Muriel's hands rested on her belly, and she could feel the pull of a smile. "Good apron," he commented, "Shows off your figure."

Cela chuckled, resting her hand atop his. "Not exactly slimming," she confirmed, looking down at the half-apron she tied under her bust. "Certainly smaller than last time."

It was true -- with her stature, at five months in her previous pregnancy, the number of comments she fielded about her size and "any day now" had started. (And between her profession and the fact that she had lost a pregnancy, she had not received the well-meaning but misguided comments gracefully.) This pregnancy was much more easily concealed beneath her dresses, but becoming more and more apparent by the day. 

She felt his hands wandering over the swell, fingers tapping lightly. She knew what he was angling for, and so far, the little one hadn't felt need to give in to his father's request.  

"Little flutters," she confirmed wistfully, turning to press a kiss to his mouth's corner. "No kicks just yet."

Muriel huffed, deflating a bit. "Maybe by your birthday," he replied, turning to catch her lips. He made an appreciative noise. "You taste delicious."

She turned in his arms, looking up at him. "It's a poor chef that doesn't taste their dish." She felt his hand as it left her waist, long fingers swiping a dollop of the frosting before she could catch him. She made an offended noise as he popped his finger into his mouth. Muriel smirked, pleased with himself, then gave a rumbling groan of pleasure. "You approve, then?"

He nodded and made another attempt, which Cela was able to thwart, catching his wrist. Gone were the days of the man who didn't know what he liked -- he knew precisely what he wanted. And a terrible tease. "I'm hungry, Celeste." he husked, turning her to face him, his eyes heavily lidded. His tone implying something more than peckishness.

Celeste was outwardly placid, though she felt a surge of longing running through her core. "Would you like a birthday cake, or no, Old Man?" she countered, lifting an eyebrow in challenge. "I haven't the time for both, and you can explain to your daughters and our other spouse why we have a quarter-finished cake for our birthday dinner."

He looked genuinely conflicted but relented. "I'll make myself a sandwich," he said, defeated, but leaned in to steal another kiss nevertheless.

---

Assembled around the dining room table, dinner over, and gifts exchanged, the last notes of the 'happy birthday tune' were sung by a white-haired magician and two little girls. Celeste stood behind Muriel, her hands on his shoulders. When they were ready to blow out the candles, she leaned down and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek against his to share in the task.

Muriel looked around the table and felt his wife's tender embrace. He had no more wishes.  A few years ago, this scene would have never entered his mind. Abandoned and forgotten. But now, he had a family. And illimitable love.

Kisses and hugs were exchanged, and the long-anticipated confection partaken of. Celeste sat between himself and Asra. After a long day, she looked worn, but content. Muriel watched as she stroked her belly absently, beaming as the girls told story after story.

Sometime later, when the girls had finally settled enough to retreat to their beds, Asra, Celeste, and Himself retreated to the couch. Muriel's head on Asra's chest, and Celeste reclining against him. He had started to doze, warm and full, and between the two great loves of his life.

He was startled when Celeste grabbed his wrist and shifted. "He's kicking," she said. There was a flurry of movement as they adjusted, Celeste guiding hands to her lower belly. A flurry of rhythmic, mild taps under their touch.

Muriel was transfixed -- just as he had been the first time they'd felt their daughters kicking away. Asra was overjoyed, raining kisses on Cela's face, but Muriel was tranquil, his hand chasing the sensation.

He was shaken from his reverie when Celeste rested her hand on his cheek, brushing her thumb over his cheekbone.

"Happy Birthday, my Darling."

[imaginejamesandsirius]

So lately I've been reading a lot of your fics and I was wondering if you would do one for genderswap James and Sirius. You can genderswap one or both, it doesn't matter. Also great writing, I love reading your stories.

((A/N: I’m not really comfortable writing normal genderswap, so this is a dimension crossover, where women James and Sirius come over and meet the guy versions of themselves))

"So you wanted to go forward in time to see what you'd look like in ten years, but wound up here instead?" Sirius asked. That was what he'd gotten from the story at least. 

Girl-Sirius nodded. It was an alternate universe version of him, so it should've looked more like him than anyone else, but mostly she looked like Bellatrix. Girl-James had looked like James only with longer hair, so it hadn't been a mystery who she was. Trying to get all four of them to take turns talking hadn't worked so well when they appeared out of nowhere, so they'd decided to pair off and then compare notes afterwards. "Me and Jamie did the modifications on the time turner last week. It should've been fine but now we're in this bloody weird place instead," she said, wrinkling her nose as she looked around. 

Sirius glared at her. Yeah maybe this universe wasn't the greatest thing ever, but he was staying with the Potter's instead of being trapped in Grimmauld Place. This place was pretty damn swell to him. Plus they were in his room, and his room looked great. "What, you don't like bikes?" 

"Can't say they're my style, no," she said, eyeing one poster like it was particularly foul. 

Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes. "I guess you can't teach taste." 

"What are you doing with a room in the Potter mansion anyways? Or is this not the Potter mansion here?" 

"It is. Are you still living with your parents?" 

"Well yeah, I'm sixteen. You're not?" 

"Fuck no. I mean, I'm sixteen, yeah, but I'm not living with them anymore. They sort of kicked me out." Sirius made a face then added, "I sort of left." 

"Why'd they kick you out? Like yeah, I bloody hate them, but I've only got to stick it out for another couple breaks and then I can get the hell out of there. What did you do?" 

Sirius didn't really know what to do with this. This was weirder than her being a girl-version of him. She still lived there? "I- well- I mean, they didn't take it well when they found out about me and James." To put it lightly. 

"That you're friends?" she said, frowning. "My parents knew about that a week into first year; how did you hide it for that long? Are you not in Gryffindor?" 

"What?" Sirius asked, frowning at her in return. "They didn't like that we were dating." They hadn't liked that they were friends either, but it was sort of a footnote with Sirius not being a blood supremacist and having a detention log longer than the Black Family Tree and liking muggle inventions. "Totally lost their shit when they caught us. Mr. and Mrs. Potter already knew, so they said I could live with them. That's why I'm here. Nowhere else to go, y'know? Not that I mind living here. The only bad thing to come from it so far is that they both talked to us about safe sex. That's an hour of my life that I can't erase from my memory." 

"Wh- you and Jamie?" 

"Yeah." 

"Really?" 

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm bloody amazing." 

"Sure, but Jamie's..." 

"What about James?" If Sirius got into a fight with himself over James being the best thing on the planet, then that's just what he had to do. 

"Well I don't know about yours, but my Jamie is definitely not interested in me. She's only got eyes for Lily sodding Evans." 

Sirius blinked. This was so buggering weird. "James fancied Lily, but only for the first couple years of school. He got over her ages ago." 

"Good for him. My Jamie's acting like she's never going to get over her, and even if she did, she wouldn't want me." 

"You sound awfully sure. Did she say that?" 

"She didn't have to," Girl-Sirius grumbled. 

"Huh." 

"What?" 

"I'm no longer the dumbest person I know." 

"Hey!" 

"Oh come off it, mate," Sirius said. "You can't know for sure that your James doesn't like you unless you ask her. And you can't be an arse about it. Walking up and demanding to know if she fancies you is a great way for her to think you're being insincere." 

"What kind of ponce are you? Insincere? Talk to her? No thanks, I'd rather not embarrass myself and utterly ruin our friendship." 

"If you can ruin your friendship with her by telling her that you fancy her, maybe it wouldn't be that big of a loss. And for your information, I am the best kind of ponce. I wear makeup and I have a skirt and everything." 

Girl-Sirius snorted. "I didn't mean it like that and you know it. Berk. Look, I'm glad that everything's worked out for you and your Jamie, but it's not like that with us. I've got a little crush. So minor it's barely worth mentioning, and she's never looked at me like that." 

Sirius didn't believe that for a second, so he rolled his eyes and muttered, "Whatever. Want to go see how they're doing? Wait. D'you still have the time turner you used?" 

"Jamie has it." 

Sirius nodded, and they left his room to go to James's. His door was open so they were able to walk right in, and instead of leading with anything helpful to getting them back to their own world, Sirius said, "Did you know that they're not dating?" 

James pointed at Sirius and gave his counterpart a meaningful look. "See? I told you it's weird." Then he dropped his hand and grinned at Sirius. "I like our universe." 

"Only because of that? Not because you- I dunno, like being a bloke?" 

"Meh," James said with a shrug, and Sirius laughed. 

"You've got the time turner?" Sirius said, looking at Jamie. 

"Yeah." She pulled it out of her pocket, then they all frowned at it. That did not look like a normal time turner. For one, the sand was red. For another, the rim was silver instead of gold. "Er. It didn't look like that before. We tried to turn it again when we figured out we weren't in the right place, but it's like it was stuck. It was the right colour back then, though." She blinked. "Erm. I don't really know what to do with this," she said, shoving it back in her pocket like they wouldn't have to worry about it if they couldn't see it. 

"Talk to the Ministry?" James suggested, making a face. None of them wanted to talk to the Ministry about anything official-- James and Sirius because they were animagi, and their counterparts because they'd gone into this hoping to misuse a time turner and they were going to get in deep shite for that. 

"Last resort," Sirius said. "As much as I'd love to sit here and make fun of you two for not thinking this through, I'm hungry." 

James snorted. "Like we always think shite through." 

"Hey, have we ever gotten stranded in an alternate universe? No. Bugger off." 

They made sandwiches and talked about ways to get them back and the magical theory that they had used on the time turner. They were barely getting into it when Mr. and Mrs. Potter got back home. "Hmm," Mrs. Potter said, eyes taking in the scene in front of her. "Dear? Do you mind explaining?" 

"You know how I always said I wanted two Sirius's?" James said with a bright grin. 

His parents blinked. "We're going to go to my study," Mr. Potter said. "Can we trust that when we get home from dinner with the Longbottom's tonight this will be resolved?" 

"Er," Sirius said. "We'll try our best?" It was the best he could offer since none of them knew how quickly they'd be able to do this. They didn't even know what 'this' was. They had no idea what they needed to do, and once they figured that out, there was no telling if it was going to be a quick fix or if they had to wait a month or summat. 

Mr. Potter nodded, but they hesitated before leaving the room entirely. "You know boys, an orgy can seem like a lot of fun, but you have a responsibility to-" 

"Oh Merlin," Sirius moaned, covering his face. 

Mrs. Potter started to talk. "You should always be safe and-" 

"Mum," James cut in, face flaming. "We're fine. We'll see you later." 

She hummed, and the adults left the room. James dropped his head to the table. 

"I thought it couldn't possibly be worse than the last time." 

"It wasn't; they didn't finish this time," Sirius muttered from behind his hands. "Let's just forget that ever happened." 

Girl-Sirius wasn't quite so willing to let it go though. "What did you mean when you said you wished you could have two Sirius's?" 

"Well Sirius is the best thing ever, so if I have two of them, than the world is twice as amazing." James stated it so plainly; he'd thought about this before. 

"You really are head over heels, aren't you?" Jamie said. 

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Frankly, I don't understand why you're not bothered by not being with him. Her," he corrected with a frown. "The Sirius in your universe. It's just weird to think that we're the same person but you don't care about that. I've been half in love with him from the moment we met, but you're busy chasing after Lily." 

"Not to take sides," Sirius said, "but you chased Lily for a while." 

"That is totally different. I chased Lily because I didn't know if you were bent. You might remember that I stopped the moment I found out." 

Sirius thought back and- bugger, yeah, James really had done that. "Huh. You're totally love struck with me." 

"It's my natural state of being," James said, nodding. "But whatever, let's deal with the tossers who've decided they're better apart." 

"We're not better apart," Girl-Sirius said, rolling her eyes. "We're just... not dating. It's not a big deal. Mates don't have to be shagging to be close." 

"Peter and Remus will be so relieved to hear that," Sirius said flatly. 

"Before we get back into time turner shite, can I kiss you?" Jamie asked, looking at Sirius. She had her arms crossed on top of the table and was leaning forward a little. 

Sirius glanced at James, who shrugged. It was just another version of James, and he wouldn't mind that. Would it even really count as kissing another person? Sure this version of James wasn't dating him, but it was James. "Sure." 

Jamie grinned. Merlin, she really did look so much like him. "Aces. Erm, not right this second though, because I don't want everyone to stare." 

"Everyone would include my boyfriend and your best mate; it's not like a big audience." 

"I don't know what blokes are like," Girl-Sirius said dryly, "but for girls, we don't watch our friends snog people." 

"Sounds like you could be having more fun," James said with a wink. "Relax, we'll figure out how to get you home, they'll kiss, and we'll all live happily ever after." 

"That's a very strange fairy tale," Jamie said. 

"Those are the best kind," Sirius said, smirking. 

[fandom-smut-shots]

Keith Kogane - Pocky Game

Pocky Game – Keith Kogane

A/N: Male!reader.

Words: 1,967

           As an MFE fighter pilot, you’d gotten to know the young paladins of Voltron upon their return to Earth alongside your comrades. James had told you stories of the one named Keith, about his sharp wit and snarky personality, and it made you want to meet him. Anyone that could put James in his place was someone you could get along with.

         You became quick friends with the four of them. Pidge’s inventions were inspiring. Hunk’s cooking was heavenly. Lance was an adorable flirt. And Keith… Keith awoke feelings inside you that you hadn’t felt in a long time.

         You realized, with a deep sigh and a palm to your forehead, that you were attracted to the red-turned-black paladin.

         You’d confided in Nadia, your closest friend, about your new discovery. Her reaction had been overly supportive and entirely mischievous.

           “Hey, we should have a party,” she stated one day during lunch break. “The older officers and lieutenants are doing their own thing – we should have a party to celebrate everyone’s success.”

         You couldn’t deny that it was a good idea, but you knew she had ulterior motives.

         “Yeah!” Lance eagerly agreed.

         “And where would we have a party?” James inquired, raising a brow.

         Everyone was quiet for a moment.

         With a sigh, you raised your hand, pointedly ignoring Nadia’s grinning face beside you.

         “I have an apartment about twenty minutes away,” you offered.

         “Atta boy!” Nadia praised, and you lightly shoved her shoulder with your own.

         “It’s settled, then!” Lance grinned. “Party at (y/n)’s!”

         “When?” Keith sighed, knowing better than to try and excuse himself.

         “Tomorrow night?” Nadia suggested. “It’s Friday. We can meet at (y/n)’s place when we’re done here.”

         The rest of the group agreed, and you chewed the inside of your lip. What in the hell had you just agreed to?

           The next evening, your stomach was flipping over on itself. Nadia had been the first to arrive, rushing to your apartment as soon as she had changed out of her uniform so that she could help you get ready. You’d insisted that you didn’t need her assistance, but she was annoyingly persistent. She helped you set out drinks and snacks before whisking you away to your own bedroom where she rummaged through your closet, assuring you that Keith wouldn’t be able to tear his gaze from your form by the time she was done.

         Knocks sounded upon your front door, and you hoped that the arrival of your colleagues would weasel you out of whatever “date night” ensemble Nadia had selected.

         No such luck.

         Nadia threw the chosen outfit at you, demanding that you put it on before returning to your front room, or she’d blab your crush on Keith to the entire team. You really didn’t want to cross her, so you picked up each article of clothing and shyly pulled it on.

         You really looked quite amazing, but you weren’t going to admit that to her.

         Dressed and just as nervous as you’d been before they arrived, you headed out to the kitchen in search of a drink. The only alcohol Nadia could get her hands on was a few six packs of wine coolers, but it was better than nothing. And, really, you didn’t want this party getting out of hand, especially if the goal was to prompt you to finally admit your feelings to the black paladin.

         A whistle from the entryway of the kitchen caught your attention, and you glanced up to find Lance standing there in search of a drink. He offered you a smirk and one of his signature finger guns.

         “You look great, (y/n),” he complimented. “Trying to impress a certain mullet?”

         A blush dusted your cheeks, and you nearly dropped the bottle you were attempting to open. “I don’t- what do you-“ You sighed, your voice lowering shyly. “Did Nadia tell you?”

         The Cuban laughed harmlessly. “Nah, man. Nobody told me. I can just tell. The way you stare at him during training kinda gives it away.”

         With a groan, you lifted a hand to slam it into your own face. “Does everyone know?”

         “Everyone besides Keith,” Lance shrugged, twisting off the top to his own beverage. “He’s a badass fighter and an awesome pilot, but the dude couldn’t take a hint if it chopped off his bangs.”

         You sighed again, offering Lance the sincerest expression you could manage. “Nadia suggested this party to try and get us together. I keep telling her that it’s pointless – he doesn’t see me that way.”

         The brunet was quiet before chuckling softly. “Dude, you’re just as blind as he is.”

         Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

         Lance placed a hand on your shoulder. “He probably hasn’t figured it out himself, but Keith is totally into you. He watches every second that you’re in the flight simulator, and I think it turns him on.”

         Your blush returned with a vengeance, and you nearly choked on the swallow you’d just taken of your drink. Lance grinned cheekily at you.

         “You… you’re just screwing with me, right?”

         “I promise, dude,” Lance smiled softly. “Besides, I’m the loverboy of the team. I can get you two together by the end of the night.”

         Before you could insist that you really didn’t want his brand of help, he had already disappeared to discuss schemes with Nadia.

           As the evening progressed, the group ended up lounging about on the various pieces of furniture in your living room. Nadia called for them all to form a circle on the floor, and with an expected amount of whining and protesting, they made their way downward, you included. You ended up sandwiched between Keith and Lance, the latter deciding to “accidentally” bump your side and nudge you closer to Keith, nearly landing you in his lap. You countered by shoving Lance to the other side, pressing him into Kinkade, who blushed a delightful shade of magenta at the contact.

         “Let’s play the Pocky Game!” Nadia grinned, holding up a hand to reveal several boxes of Pocky in various flavors. You stared, slack-jawed at the girl you wondered why you called your best friend.

         “What’s the Pocky Game?” Hunk inquired, and you were glad you weren’t the only one who hadn’t heard of it.

         The dark grin on Nadia’s lips made you want to run for the door. Looking to the side, you found a matching expression on Lance’s face, and you knew you were going to regret ever hosting a party.

         “It’s where two people take each end of the Pocky stick into their mouth,” Nadia explained, “and you chew on it until you meet in the middle. The idea is to break apart before your lips meet, and whoever eats more of the Pocky wins.”

         “But if you end up playing with someone you like, it’s a great way to sneak in a kiss,” Lance smirked, and you stifled a wince.

         “How are we going to determine who plays?” James questioned.

         Nadia plucked one of the empty wine coolers from the floor and placed it in the center of the circle. “With some good, old-fashioned Spin the Bottle.”

         “I think (y/n) should go first,” the Cuban beside you stated, and you turned to send him a glare. He simply winked at you. “It’s his party, after all.”

         “Hey, now,” you protested. “Both the party and the game were Nadia’s idea.”

         “And I say you’re going first,” Nadia countered. She tossed a box of Pocky in your direction, and you fumbled before catching it. With shaking hands, you reached for the bottle, twisting your wrist to spin it. Your heart pounded in your chest as you willed the bottle to land on literally anyone besides Keith.

         It landed on Lance, and you stifled an exhale of relief. You pulled a Pocky stick from the box and stuck in your mouth, turning to face the brunet. He took the other end, slowly nibbling until you met in the middle. He ducked his head, breaking the Pocky before your mouths got too close.

         “Sorry, (y/n),” he began with a wink, “I’m saving my Pocky kiss for someone special.”

         Pidge snorted something that sounded very much like “Kinkade,” and you turned to grin at her.

         “My turn!” Lance clapped, reaching forward and excitedly spinning the bottle. It rounded the circle a few times before stopping, the neck pointed directly at Kinkade. The blush on Lance’s face was worth the entire game as he stuck a Pocky stick in his mouth and turned to the dark-skinned boy.

         Everyone watched with bated breath as they met in the middle. Before Lance could decide whether to press on or pull away, Kinkade’s hand came to rest on the back of his neck. Lance shrieked as he was pulled into a kiss, lead completely by the other boy. Cheers sounded throughout the circle, and applause erupted as soon as the two parted.

         The rest of the turns were uneventful, ending in either broken Pocky or tentative pecks of lips. When it finally came to Keith, you couldn’t help but watch the bottle as it spun.

         And aimed itself at you.

         You pointedly ignored Nadia’s grin from across the circle, turning to face Keith as he prepared a Pocky stick. You knew you’d get chewed out by both Lance and Nadia if you backed out, but you couldn’t help the insecurities rising in your chest. What if Keith didn’t like you? What if he pulled away first? What if-

         The rest of your worries were put to rest as you ran out of Pocky, and your lips were met with the soft, warm ones of one Keith Kogane. Before you could think to kiss back, he pulled away, staring intently down at his lap. Warmth flooded your core as you continued on with the game, ending up paired with Pidge, Hunk, and Nadia by the time everyone ran out of Pocky.

           The day grew late, and you informed your friends that they were welcome to crash on the various pieces of furniture in your living room if they didn’t wish to return home. Lance thanked you for your offer, but claimed he had other plans as Kinkade took his hand and dragged him out the door. Nadia accepted eagerly until Pidge nudged her side, jerked her head towards Keith, and led Nadia outside. The rest of your friends bid their goodnights and left, leaving you alone with the red-turned-black paladin.

         “Are you leaving too?” you questioned softly.

         Keith met your hesitant gaze. “Do you want me to?”

         “Honestly?” you countered, feeling a surge of confidence.

         He nodded.

         “I… I kind of want to talk about the game,” you stated, slowly padding into the living room and sitting on the couch. “And, perhaps… continue where we left off.”

         Keith was quiet for a moment, and you worried that you’d said something wrong. He sat beside you, taking your hands in his. Damn, you liked the way his gloves felt on your fingertips.

         He leaned in, pressing his lips tenderly to yours. You couldn’t stifle the gasp that followed, but before he could pull away, you leaned closer, returning the kiss like you’d wanted to earlier. His lips molded perfectly against yours, parting and reconnecting a dozen times before the two of you required a proper breath. His forehead rested on yours, his grip tightening on your hands.

         “I didn’t think that you felt the same,” you admitted softly, shyly glancing up to meet his eyes.

         “I didn’t think you did either,” he smirked. “Lance swore that you did, but… I didn’t believe him.”

         You exhaled a chuckle. “I didn’t believe him either.”

         He kissed you again, and the rest of the night was spent sharing lips and soft words, cuddles and caresses.

[weasleydream]

The life and grief of Percy and Y/N Weasley - Part 4

Here we are for the fourth part! As you will see, things are slowly becoming darker and darker... But I love this part! In fact, I think it’s one of my favourite. 

Also, let’s pretend Episkey only works with broken bones (because honestly I can’t remember if it’s the case)

I have forgotten for the previous chapters but the original idea is from @mostmediocreravenclaw <3

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Masterlist 

(gif not mine)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 

Their first job

When I was little, I used to think my Hogwarts years would be peaceful. I saw myself playing Quidditch, spending sleepless nights with Percy while talking about everything and nothing, being the perfect older sister for Ron and Ginny when their time at school with us would come. Well, all my seven years had proven me wrong. At the end of our sixth year, Ginny had disappeared and had been taken to the Chamber of Secrets. Percy had taken the responsibility to warn our parents, and it had probably been the most difficult thing in his life. Our very last year had been marked by Sirius Black’s breakout from Azkaban and the presence of Dementors around the castle. 

I guess that explained why I was kind of relieved when Percy and I passed our NEWTs. We had both had excellent results, and the Ministry of Magic’s doors were wide open in front of us. Percy wanted to be Minister for Magic. It was his ambition since we were little: all his hard work at school, his implication into his prefect and Head Boy jobs, everything he had done until now, he had done it to fulfil his dream. I was confident: one day, our Minister would be called Percy Weasley. 

There was a time when I would have the same ambitions as my twin, but eventually, I understood I wasn’t meant for a big career. I was too shy, too introvert, and I had troubles with standing the anxiety. Plus, if Hogwarts had learnt me one thing about myself, it was the fact that I loved taking care of magical creatures. It was something I shared with Charlie, one of my older brothers. My excellent results in Care for Magical Creatures, both for my OWLs and my NEWTs, had permitted me obtain a job in the Beast Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control for Magical Creatures. 

I was placed into the Dragon Research and Restraint Bureau. It was honestly the division I wanted the most to be in, and I was quite glad I had been accepted. However, my days weren’t really eventful. No one let me go in the field, and all I had to do was classify some reports. Sometimes, I found reports from Romania, where Charlie worked, but I had never seen one of his.

My free time consisted in few things: I spent as much time as possible with Percy, who was Barty Crouch’s assistant, but his free time was much more rare than mine and when he wasn’t here, I read some books and old reports I took from the Department archives. It was really interesting, and I didn’t learn only about dragons. One day, I had found informations about a service for werewolves support. When I had asked Dad about it, he had answered with a shrug. “It was useless, no one never manifested. It’s been dissolved a few years ago.” 

I was currently sitting on my desk, a book about the different species of dragons in the hands, when someone knocked at the door. I looked up to see Percy. He seemed exhausted and was holding a report in his right hand and a paper bag in his left one.

“Mind if I eat with you?”

I glanced at my watch. 3:00 p.m. 

“You haven’t eaten yet?” I asked, concerned.

“No.” He sighed. 

I gestured him to come and made some place on the desk. Percy practically fell on the chair and yawned longly. I took the report and read out loud its title, amused. 

“Cauldron bottoms? Very interesting.”

He rolled his eyes and started to recite why it was so important, because the accidents could be serious, bla, bla, bla.

“Relax Perce, I was just joking. You’re worrying me, though. When was the last time you slept an entire night?”

He took a big bite in his sandwich, obviously not wanting to answer. This was one of my twin’s biggest flaws: he was too much invested in what he did and didn’t mind threatening his own health. I always had to remember him to take care of him, even if he didn’t really listen to me. However, I had to admit I had the same problem.

“It feels like we haven’t eaten together since forever.” I said. Percy nodded.

“I know, I’m sorry for that, Y/N. But, you know, Mr Crouch knows he can count on me and I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“You won’t, don’t worry. I trust you for that and I’m sure he does too.” I smiled softly at him. I was still sitting on the desk, and I just had to extend a hand to ruffle his curly hair. 

Percy’s ears became red and he couldn’t help but grin. He always reacted like that when someone complimented him, and I particularly loved being the one making him blush. My way to show him I loved him. He looked at the picture of a dragon in front of him, probably looking for another subject of conversation. He seemed to eventually find one and asked me with a small smile:

“Do you know when Charlie will arrive at home?”

Charlie, along with Bill, would join us at the Burrow and everyone except Mum would go to the finale of the Quidditch World Cup. I was pretty sure Hermione and Harry would be here too. 

“I reckon he’ll be here in a week or so.”

“Bet you’re gonna spend hours talking about dragons, am I right?”

“Probably.”

We kept talking about the World Cup, wondering who would be the great victor. It was a current conversation around the diner table since Dad had announced us we would go. When Percy glanced at his watch, half an hour later, he jumped off the chair and barely took the time to tell me he had to finish his report before storming out. These scenes were quite frequent with him, but it didn’t really bother me. I just wished I could spend more time with my twin. 

Two weeks later, the Burrow was crowded. Bill and Charlie had arrived a week ago and Hermione and Harry the day before. Percy was right, as soon as he had arrived, Charlie and I had started a passionate conversation about dragons and it had lasted for hours. I had also spent a lot of time with Bill, listening his thrilling adventures in Egypt. It was good to see the family reunited like this, but no one could be happier than Mum. 

Mum was a very strong woman. I had always wanted to be like her. When it came to her family, she could be a true lioness, but she also always became so emotional. When Charlie had arrived - he was the first one - and had taken her in his arms, she had cried like a baby. 

Her happiness didn’t prevent her from getting angry at Fred and George, though. The first time, she had scolded them because they had given a Ton-Tongue Toffee to Harry’s cousin. This time, she woke me by yelling something about their OWLs and their inventions. I groaned and glanced at the window. Merlin, the sun wasn’t even visible, and Bill, Charlie, Percy and I still had a few hours before apparating in the campsite with Dad and the others. Understanding there would be no use to try and sleep again, I left the room, careful to be quiet, and joined Mum in the kitchen.

“Already up, dear?” Her cheeks were still red from anger.

I just groaned in answer and started to eat some bacon. Then I helped her with a few chores which maintained me busy until our hour of departure. We said goodbye to Mum and apparated at the entrance of the campsite. We asked for our emplacement and joined Dad. Eggs and sausages were boiling on the fire. We were eating when Ludo Bagman arrived, warned by Dad’s signs.He proposed us to bet on the match, and Fred and George took the opportunity to show one of their inventions, betting all their savings in the same time. Dad wasn’t pleased, along with Percy who thought it was inappropriate to show the false wand to a member of the Ministry, even if it was Bagman. 

When Barty Crouch arrived, Percy immediately jumped on his feet and proposed him some tea, only to be called Weatherby once more. Fred and George obviously found it hilarious and I glared at them, hoping they would catch the message and stop. It was something really vexing for Percy, and he didn’t take it well at all. Of course, they ignored me and kept teasing him until the moment when we finally reached our seats in the stadium. 

I didn’t think the match would be so short, but it barely lasted an hour. We were all heading to our tents, talking animatedly about Krum’s performance. We sat around the little table, mugs with hot chocolate in the hands. I was debating with Harry about one of the penalties when Ginny fell asleep and Dad told us to go into the tents. My little sister snored loudly as soon as her head touched her pillow, but I was still too excited to close my eyes. It was the same for Hermione, and we both sat in my bed.

Hermione was younger than me, yet I had always appreciated her, since her first year at Hogwarts. We were quite similar at the time, but she had grown and we were now a bit different. I still considered her like a good friend, though. 

“So, how’s your work at the Ministry?” She kept her voice quiet to not disturb Ginny. 

“In fact, it’s boring. No one let me see dragons, my days are spent reading reports.”

“Oh, sorry… And Percy? He seems really implicated.” She remarked, amused. 

“He’s way too much. “ I muttered. “He doesn’t really sleep and is always stressed.”

Hermione shrugged while telling me he would eventually relax. She yawned and went to bed, wishing me good night. 

It seemed like only a few seconds had passed when Dad barged in the tent, yelling we had to wake up. I jumped off my bed.

“Take care of the girls Y/N, there are Death Eaters!”

No time to dress up. I grabbed a jacket and slipped in it. I was still in my pajamas when I got out of the tend, my wand firmly hold in my right hand. I urged Hermione and Ginny toward Fred, George, Ron and Harry and joined Percy. He was next to Bill and Charlie, rolling up his sleeves. When he saw me, he grabbed my wrist. 

“Y/N, you’re going with them.” He nodded toward our younger siblings. 

“No way.” I hissed. “I stay with you.”

He was obviously on the verge of arguing but finally gave up. He perfectly knew I could be stubborn when I wanted to. 

“Okay, but you stick with me.”

I nodded and followed him between the flaming tents. People were screaming, and I could see the muggles that directed the campsite levitating. Their two children were there too. I groaned in front of this awful sight and ran behind Percy toward the responsibles. I cast as much spells as I could, trying to distract them long enough to rescue the muggles. However, their wands were producing green flashes of light, and they didn’t care about who was touched. The flames were higher on their passage, the campsite felt like a hell on earth. 

My heart stopped when I heard a woman screaming. I quickly turned around: she was holding a baby pressed against her chest and was facing two Death Eaters. Without thinking about it, I ran toward her and placed myself in front of her. 

“Go!” I screamed.

I was now alone against two. Fortunately, they didn’t seem to be the smartest of the group, and they were still laughing when I petrified the first one. The other stopped, shocked, and tried to disarm me. I quickly created a shield in front of me, and I was trying to tie him up when he send me in the carbonized tents behind me. I caught my breathe and yelled as loud as I could.

“STUPEFY!” 

The Death Eater flew back and landed in a burning tent. I got up, wanting to find Percy, but a sharp pain exploded in my ankle. Great. By now, the fights were over and a terrible silence had taken place, only interrupted by the flames crackling. I was only wearing a short and my bare legs were covered in cuts. I limped toward the woods, where I knew I would find my younger siblings. The pain was almost unbearable when I reached the first trees, and it became excruciating when Percy almost jumped on me and we fell backwards. 

“Y/N where were you? I told you to stay with me! I was so fucking afraid!”

“You’re swearing? You must have been terrified!” I joked. 

He looked up to me with tear in his eyes. His face was concerned, in fact it was one of the first times I saw him that anxious. 

“Sorry Perce, but this woman, with her baby… I couldn’t let her face two Death Eaters alone and -”

“You fought against two Death Eaters?” He interrupted me. “Alone?” I nodded. “For Merlin’s sake Y/N, are you crazy? You could have died!”

“But I’m still here. I’m too skilled to die, my dear.”

I wanted to reassure him, but the dangerousness of my acts slowly crept in my mind. He was right, I could have died. I threw my arms around Percy’s neck and he pressed me against him. 

“It’s okay.” he murmured. 

Dad kneeled next to us and stroke my hair. 

“You’ve been incredible, Y/N, but Percy’s right. You shouldn’t have done this.” I nodded once more, not daring to look at him. “Are you hurt?”

I mumbled my ankle was painful and Percy immediately murmured Episkey but nothing happened. 

“It’s not broken, you will have to wait until we’re at home. Mum will know what to do.”

He helped me getting on my feet and supported me on our way to the tents without a word. He led me toward my bed and left. Just before getting out, he stopped and murmured:

“Don’t ever scare me like that, Y/N. I don’t want to lose you.”

We slept a few hours - or we tried to sleep, because I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing the Death Eaters - and took a portkey before the dawn. Percy was next to me, helping me walking, and we were a few steps recessed from the others. We saw Mum running outside, hugging Dad then Fred and George. When she saw Percy and I arriving, she rushed toward us and hugged us. Then she placed herself on my other side and we made our way to the kitchen, where she quickly healed my ankle and we ate a needed breakfast. When Dad announced he had to go back to the Ministry, Percy approved and told he would go too. He was back to his pompous self, as usual in front of our family, but I didn’t hear what he said after because the exhaustion took over me and I fell asleep, my head falling in my now empty plate.

The following week had been very difficult for Dad and Percy. Both cancelled their holidays and spent all the days at the Ministry. Dad always came back a bit later than Percy, but my twin had a lot to do with all the accusations against Barty Crouch, along with the secret preparation of the Triwizard Tournament that would take place at Hogwarts. Some tensions appeared between Dad and Percy, along with Hermione who got angry as soon as someone talked about house elves. Personally, I had to face Fred’s and George’s glares. It seemed like they hadn’t appreciated mine at the World Cup, when I wanted them to stop teasing Percy. 

The Triwizard Tournament brought me back to Hogwarts for the first time in November. Charlie had sent me an owl, asking me to join him in Romania before the 20th of November. He showed me the reserve he worked in, and it was the very first time I saw real dragons. It was awesome, these creatures were majestic, their beauty was terrifying and enchanting. I helped him and other wizards to bring them to the Forbidden Forest, next to Hogwarts, and paired with my brother in order to control them. Hagrid arrived an hour later with the Beauxbatons director. We talked with him, mainly about Harry whom we were all worried about. And to say he was in danger was an understatement. Once in front of the ferocious Hungarian Horntail, he seemed really small and defenseless. I was biting my nails next to Charlie, who was ready to intervene if things turned bad. However, Harry cast a spell and his broom arrived. After an amazing flying demonstration, he caught the golden egg, beating the three previous Champions.

The second time I went back to the castle was for the Christmas Eve. I had heard Barty Crouch was sick and I knew Percy replaced him for many things, including the Triwizard Tournament. Of course I was happy for him: it was a great occasion to be remarked and maybe to get a promotion. However, I hadn’t seen him in weeks and I really missed him. That’s why, when I had received an owl from him inviting me to attend to the Yule Ball with him at Hogwarts, I had almost screamed of joy. 

The Great Hall was decorated with silver frost and plant guirlandes hanging from everywhere. Percy stood straighter than ever as we reached the table intended for the Champions and the jury. He wore a navy blue robe, bought especially for the occasion. My dress was quite simple, it was burgundy red and also brand new. I sat between Percy and Madame Maxime, looking curiously at the Champions. The four of them were accompanied by someone, and I recognized Hermione with Viktor Krum. I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she blushed. Harry came next to Percy and the both of them talked about Barty Crouch. I started a conversation with Madame Maxime: she seemed pleased to see my admiration for her horses.  

After the diner - which was excellent, as usual - the Champions went to the center of the Great Hall and started to dance, the music being played by the Weird Sisters. Of the corner of my eye, I saw Dumbledore asking Madame Maxime to dance with him. A few seconds later, a particularly pretty Durmstrang boy came in front of me and took my hand. I glanced at Percy, who was glaring at the boy, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t because it was an unacceptable behaviour. Not from me, anyway. I danced with the guy and when the song ended, Percy appeared behind me. 

“Do you want to go for a walk in the gardens?”

I smiled and followed him. Soon, the strange restraint vanished and we were talking about everything and nothing, recalling good memories from when we were young and wondering who would win the second task. We didn’t stay outside for too long, though, because the air was freezing. We headed back to the Great Hall and passed next to Fred who was dancing with Angelina Johnson. George was nowhere to be found, Ginny was dancing with the clumsy boy who had forgotten to give back the Sorting Hat at the beginning of his first year and Ron was sitting next to Harry, obviously angry. Percy and I sat at an empty table, still chatting. Other boys asked me to dance with them, but I refused each time, wanting to spend some time with my twin. It had clearly been a long time since the last time he had forgotten about his work, and I wouldn’t give up on him. 

Indeed, I didn’t give up on him at the Ball, and I didn’t give up on him either after Barty Crouch’s disappearance. Percy had to submit to an interrogation about the orders he received by owl. It was very difficult for him, and the worse arrived with the letter who indicated him he wouldn’t be able to judge the third task.

“You can come with Bill, Y/N and I.” proposed Mum during the diner. “We will spend the day with Harry. The poor boy will need a bit of distraction.”

“No, thanks Mum.” Percy answered sadly. “I’m not sure it would be a good idea.”

I was sure he didn’t want to come face to face with Cornelius Fudge, but we couldn’t force him. He got up, leaving his plate half-full of mashed potatoes, and climbed slowly the stairs. 

“Mum, I think I won’t come either. I don’t want Perce to stay alone.”

She sighed and nodded. I didn’t follow him, knowing he needed space. My decision didn’t seem to please him because as soon as I told him I wouldn’t go to Hogwarts, the morning of the third task, he got angry. 

“I don’t care about what you say, Percy.” I had grabbed firmly his wrist before he slammed the door in front of me. “I stay with you, you have no choice.”

Finally, I managed to cheer him up by babbling on about dragons for hours. He listened to me, finally getting interested, and even asked me to lend him some books.

“Perce?” 

We were both lying in our beds and reading. 

“Yeah?”

“Don’t worry for your place at the Ministry.”

To be continued

Part 5 

[gellavonhamster]

here's looking at you, kid

written for the 2020 Sugar Bowl Tournament organized by @asoue-network for the prompt: "Beatrice/Bertrand/Lemony & Violet, pre-canon. B/B/L watching Violet grow over the years".  

ao3 link eng || ao3 link rus

Violet Baudelaire was a couple of minutes old, and Beatrice, exhausted and happy, was holding her in her arms.

“See, and you were worried,” remarked the midwife good-naturedly. She wasn’t a volunteer – as far as Bertrand and Beatrice had learned, no one among the staff there had any connection to VFD. That played a critical role when choosing the clinic. It was a stroke of luck, and Beatrice was almost sure that if at some point in the future she got pregnant again, they wouldn’t have the same luck the second time. “A strong and healthy baby!”  

“She must be taking after her father,” Beatrice replied, gently rocking her daughter to sleep. Strictly speaking, it was too early to judge whom Violet was taking after, because all infants, objectively, only looked like one another. It was what Beatrice used to think before, and even now, already feeling a sharp, scorching influx of love for this little warm bundle in her arms, the kind of love that made, in her eyes, this baby different from all the other babies in the world once and for all, she still found it hard to argue about. But Violet had brown eyes. Not green like Beatrice’s, and not blue like Bertrand’s.    

Well, that settled all doubts related to paternity.

“He left us her to remember him by,” she thought, and instantly felt angry with herself. Violet was no souvenir, no lock of hair in a locket or something of that sort. She was not a part of Lemony or Bertrand, not even a part of Beatrice – not anymore. She was a living being on her own, with a tiny red puckered face and long dark eyelashes, and Beatrice was positive that she would grow up to be kind, clever, and loved. At least she and Bertrand were going to do their utmost to make sure it happened.  

“Should I invite her father in?” the midwife asked, and Beatrice’s heart stung for a second, because he could not be invited, could not be summoned with a letter or a call or a telegram or by crying on the floor at three o’clock in the morning – but only for a second. Violet had a father, she reminded herself. It was just that once they used to hope she’d have two of them.

“Yes,” she nodded. “Please do.”

In her arms, Violet wrinkled up her nose and yawned.

 ***

 Violet Baudelaire was two years old and sleeping on the sofa in the living room, and Beatrice, who just came back from the nursery where Klaus was sleeping, was standing in the doorway and watching her. More precisely, she was watching her daughter, then shifting her gaze to Kit Snicket, seated in an armchair with a cup of already cooled-down coffee in hands, and then looking at her daughter again.  

“Has she noticed?” Beatrice thought. “Has she figured it out?”

Kit must have sensed her presence, for she turned around and looked at her closely without saying a word. Her lips pressed together tightly, her eyes sad. Her brown eyes.

Beatrice walked into the living room and quietly sat down on the other side of the sofa, next to Kit.  

“You know, he used to sleep like that as a child,” Kit said in a soft voice and smiled slightly. “Put his thumb in his mouth, curl up, and sleep.”

So she had noticed then. Beatrice sighed. “I am going to tell you something now, something that might upset you. But I have to say it, just to be on the safe side.”

“I am listening”.

“The fact that his blood flows through her veins doesn’t change anything. He wouldn’t want her… taken either. The three of us discussed that more than once.”

Kit tilted the cup to one side, then to another, as if she was going to read coffee grounds.

“I respect your choice,” she said slowly. “I was just watching her and thinking… I’d be glad if she had a quieter childhood than he did.”

“And you and Jacques did?”

“We were grown.”

Like hell they were, just two years older than he was. Beatrice gritted her teeth.

“He would have adored her,” Kit told her, and Beatrice found herself on the verge of tears but could hold them in – the joint effort of her acting skills and of some other, the ones acquired in VFD. Lemony’s death still felt like a fresh wound. She loved Bertrand with all her heart, but that heart had room for two, and Lemony, for that matter, took his place there earlier, back when they still were funny, self-assured kids. What was that thing Emily Brontë said? ‘Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.’ Truth be told, Beatrice didn’t like that book much – something in that story about the children who suffered a lot and grew up to make others suffer was too relatable for it to be enjoyed. It reminded her of that poem O loved to quote, possibly the only poem he ever really liked. Yet that one quote was priceless, because there was no better way to describe what she and Lemony had. Her soul was still alive, but something in it had changed irretrievably.        

“I know,” she said. “I know.”    

 ***

 Violet Baudelaire was five years old, and she had just proudly demonstrated Bertrand the tent she had built of several pillows, a mop, two blankets, and an old umbrella.    

“It’s not a tent, Dad,” she said reproachfully when he complimented her on her architectural talent. “It’s a palace!”

Naturally, Bertrand apologized at once for such a glaring mistake, and both of them climbed into the palace to check how comfortable it would be for her and Klaus when he came back – Beatrice took him to the dentist’s.  

“This will be our living room,” Violet explained. “You and Mom have a whole separate room for receiving your guests, but we will receive ours here.”

“And who will you invite first?” Bertrand asked. Violet paused to think.

“I don’t know,” she drawled. “Yesterday a girl at the playground told Klaus she had a book about dinosaurs. Maybe we’ll invite her? If she brings the book for us to see.”

Bertrand smiled – and then, as it sometimes happened when he was looking at his daughter, joy gave way to nostalgia.

Violet resembled Lemony. A lot. At times, it caused him pain, but that pain had nothing in common with the kind another man might have experienced in such a situation. He always thought of Violet as of his own daughter and did not doubt Beatrice thought the same – fine, perhaps he doubted it a little at first, but rather due to not being sure that he, an orphan raised by three siblings who were far too young when they took him in, could be a good father. These fears, however, had become history by now. The only reason why it pained him to recognize Lemony Snicket in Violet’s features was that he loved Lemony Snicket – still loved him – and would give an arm and a leg for him to be there, to be able to watch his daughter grow, learn, create and invent too – and his son as well, for just like Violet was Bertrand’s daughter, Klaus would’ve been Lemony’s son.  

“Dad?” Violet’s voice broke his train of thought. “Are you all right?”

Bertrand looked at her and smiled again; the way she looked like Lemony might have caused him pain, but it also made him love her even more.

“I’m fine, dear. Just got lost in thought. Hey,” he winked at her. “Will you help me make some sandwiches? I think we have to hold a welcome party to celebrate the opening of the palace when Mom and Klaus are back.”  

“Yes! Hooray!” Violet jumped to her feet in glee. The palace shook, but remained standing.

 ***

 Violet Baudelaire was ten years old, and Bertrand, standing on the veranda, was watching her swing Klaus on a swing that Beatrice and he had hung for them on the strongest tree in the garden. The Baudelaires could afford a decent wooden swing, even several if desired, but Beatrice had set her heart on showing the children how to make a swing out of a car tire. So presently, Klaus was sitting on a tire and trying to hold on to the rope and hold his glasses in place at the same time, while Violet kept pushing the tire every time it flew up to her.    

“Klaus,” Bertrand called, putting the phone aside for a moment, “Take off your glasses; you’re going to drop them! Violet, take the glasses from him and put them on the bench!”

“What are they doing?” Lemony asked at the other end of the line. Bertrand pressed the handset to his ear snugly.

“Riding on a swing. We put a tire on a rope in the garden for them, and now we have to watch out all the time lest they kill themselves on it.”

Lemony gave a short soft laugh. Bertrand could not describe how precious that sound was to him – until recently, he believed he would never hear it again.

“Come visit us someday. Meet them,” he said. It was not that he really had any hopes on that point, but it was worth trying once more. Sooner or later Lemony might simply get tired of saying ‘no’. “Please”.    

Lemony heaved a sigh. “The last time Beatrice and I talked I got the impression she did not want to see me.”

“She wants to. Trust me. She just needs to process it all properly. She believed you were gone – we believed you were gone – and then it turned out there was no need for all those tears, for all that pain… I can see why you acted that way, but that does not change the fact that you lied to us. Give her some time. I will tell you when you can come – of course, if you deign to leave the number for calling you back.”

“Bertrand, this might be dangerous. As a matter of fact, I am certain this is dangerous.”

“You know, Violet has your eyes,” Bertrand said. He imagined that was a sucker punch but he decided he had a right to it since Lemony let him and Beatrice mourn him for ten years.  

“And your habit of tying her hair up in a ribbon,” Lemony replied. If the remark about the eyes struck home, it was not obvious from his voice. “I saw you at the post office recently.”

“Right. Beatrice accidentally dropped a letter without a stamp into the post box, and Violet was trying to invent a way to fish it out without asking the post office employees for help. I do not tie my hair up anymore, though: I always get it cut short these days.”

“Understandably. You are a serious adult person now, and a family man, not some youth in flared pants.”

“I’ve never had any flared pants.”

“Well, a youth without any pants, then. That is even better.”

Bertrand rolled his eyes. “Please,” he said once again. “Consider my invitation.”

“All right,” Lemony agreed – perhaps to change the subject, or perhaps because he was actually going to consider it.

Violet still kept swinging Klaus, and both of them were laughing loudly. Bertrand stepped closer, as far as the phone cord allowed it.

“Can you hear them?” he asked and turned the handset in their direction, hoping that the noise the kids were making would be possible to hear. If he had switched over to sucker punches, he had to go all the way. Then he put the handset to his ear again.

“I can,” Lemony told him. His voice sounded chokingly.

Perhaps, Bertrand thought, he could bring him round in the end.

 ***

 Violet Baudelaire was fifteen years old, and Lemony was looking at her photo cut out of a newspaper.

He didn’t like thinking that from the point of view of biology, he was her father. He did not consider himself one – hadn’t earned the right to be called one. Bertrand, who had more than earned that right, might have objected (if only for the sake of debate – even after both of them had outgrown the unfounded feeling that they must oppose each other in everything, they still liked to engage into debates, though for fun only), but Bertrand, unfortunately, could not debate with anyone about anything anymore. Lemony couldn’t deny that Violet had his eye colour and his facial contours, but he had no doubt there was nothing of him in her personality: there was no reason for it to be. By contrast, she, just like her siblings, probably had inherited a lot of qualities, habits, tics, and junk words from Beatrice and Bertrand. Probably – because while he described every word and every thought of those children in his books, he did not know them personally, though he had seen them on numerous occasions.    

The Baudelaire orphans in his books were not, of course, the completely faithful images of the real Baudelaire orphans, more like a combination of what he had learned about them from the people who had met them, and what he imagined them to be like based on the things he knew about them. So Sunny Baudelaire, who looked like her father, was described as having her mother’s fearless heart, and Klaus Baudelaire, who took after his mother in terms of appearance, had the same quiet rage in him that his father had often experienced and meticulously concealed. As to Violet, she had inherited Beatrice’s unwavering urge to protect the ones she loved, and Bertrand’s inquisitive mind and talent for inventing. Beyond all doubt, her parents would have been proud of her if they knew how she acted throughout the series of unfortunate events that had befallen their family, though first and foremost they would have definitely been sorry that she had to grow up so fast, that all of their children had to grow up so fast.      

Lemony Snicket was not sure if he had any right to be proud of Violet Baudelaire, yet he was proud nonetheless.  

 ***

 Violet Baudelaire was twenty-six years old, and she was sitting across from Lemony at the table.

“Don’t be mad at Klaus,” she told him, her fingers smoothing out a candy wrapper reflexively. Sunny and Beatrice weren’t there because the hour was already late and the elders had sent them to bed (no one, however, could be sure they were really sleeping and not being occupied with any mysterious pre-teen business). Klaus wasn’t there either because about half an hour ago he retired to his room under the pretext of a headache. His countenance and demeanour had given Lemony the idea it had not been about a headache or, if it had, the cause of the said headache had been he, Lemony Snicket. “Don’t take it to heart, but he has never liked your books. Not so much your style or linguistic choices as the very fact of their existence.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t think it is of any importance. Firstly, you helped Beatrice find us. And secondly,” she smiled wryly, “I am older and I can hold my emotions in check.”  

Kit, he couldn’t help thinking as he shook up at the familiar irony, the familiar look of the brown Snicket eyes. But Violet Baudelaire wasn’t Kit or Jacques or Beatrice or Bertrand, all the more not himself. She was purely herself, no matter how stubbornly his eyes kept catching hold of those features of hers that reminded him of the people long gone. She was purely herself, and there was no place for him in her life, or in Klaus’s life, or in Sunny’s, and now that the four orphans had reunited again, he could not help doubting if there was any place for him in Beatrice’s.          

But Violet asked him, “Will you stay? At least for a couple of days. I guess since you’ve become a bestselling author thanks to us, we have a right to question you properly about our parents. And about our guardians. About everything.”

“Has she noticed?” he thought. “Has she figured it out?”

“Of course,” he agreed. He didn’t know if he was ready to reveal every single secret to them. Perhaps it would be cruel to swamp them with so much information inconsistent with a lot of what they had known before. Perhaps he was just looking for excuses beforehand. Perhaps he should think about it tomorrow, after all of them would have had enough sleep. “I should be very glad to.”  

So Violet Baudelaire smiled at him, and for a moment he forgot what doubt was.

[lovehugsandcandy]

Find the Lady (BP, Ash x MC)

A/N: So I started this when I was amused by the hijinks of BP and abandoned it when it started to get old but then figured I should try to finish it...because I do love me a snarky LI, don't I? This was already posted in AO3, sorry if you already read it.

Pairing: Ash x MC; mentions of Courtney x Mario ‘BrainMelt’ Bautista, Bachelorette Party

Length: ~3600 words

Rating: PG-13 (Swearing. Someone (?) drinks too many Bloody Marys and gets sick.)

Summary: Find the Lady but Mandy’s the Lady and, if Ash can find her, he’s not letting go.

Ash had to do a double-take, a triple-take, hell, a quadruple-take, when he walked by the open door of the Peanut Butter and Banana Quickie Chapel & Pawn Shop at the far end of the Strip. It wasn’t unusual for the gaudy gold doors to be propped wide open in the spring, Vegas heat not yet in full force, comfortable days still the norm before the fire of the summer arrived; the chapel was small enough that he was able to peer inside, past the makeshift pews, past the smoke machines and disco balls, all the way to the far wall where linen flowers and neon lights surrounded the glitter-gold script of their slogan. One-stop shop! We’ll put a ring on it and take it off your hands, too!

However, none of the garish decor caught Ash’s eye. Instead, it was captured by the trio who stood with their backs to him, speaking to the Elvis impersonator. Now that he looked closer, he could tell that it was the blond girl who hooked up with the magician and the hotshot doctor who just happened to live out East near Mandy. These two were just secondary to the sight that stole his attention though because, right in the middle, always right in the thick of everything, stood the gorgeous lawyer herself, braid cascading down her back as she spoke animatedly to Elvis. 

He wanted to head in, to say hello and take just a second to bask in her attention, to see her face, but he had to pause. If she was here, talking to a quickie minister with Reed at her side, it could only mean one thing. She definitely wouldn’t want him popping back into her life at this exact, special moment. So he took just a minute to watch, her hands flying through the air as she gestured to the flowers, the pedestal. He had to smile, melancholy as it was. He was glad it worked out for them. She deserved to be happy.

~~~~~

He hadn’t seen her in six months; hell, it felt like they had barely spoken over text since she left for the airport with her friends and his heart, but she was never far from his mind. He always knew that he was little more than an interesting diversion in her life, a wild story about the time she was in Vegas and met a two-bit hustler while on the run from the mafia, but for him? She was no drunken exploit or tall tale. Yes, it had been short romance, but it was the first time a tourist wove a path into not only his bed but his mind and his bones and his soul. He could still see her, clear as day, standing on the roof of his shit apartment, bathed in the sun's glow as it peeked over the mountains. 

He would recognize her anywhere.

Which is why he had to do another double-take on the Strip that night. He was in the middle of a game of Find the Lady, a pair of eager college-aged tourists focused on his hands as they followed the familiar routine, over-under left right left, when a dark braid caught his eye for the second time that day. He turned his head, quickly, too quickly, and his hands stuttered, the second card falling from his palm to the pavement below.

The girls in front of him laughed as Ash gaped at the card on the ground. He never messed up this game. “Wow, ladies.” He pulled his best smile out. “I think you both distracted me. You win this time.” He knelt to grab his card and held out the deck again. “Best two out of three?”

Once they had finally wandered off, after five more games where he made sure he focused only on his cards, not the gorgeous brunette he was certain he saw, he scanned the crowd intently. Nothing. He looked around.

“Jayson, man, did you see-?”

“I’m not helping you.” Jayson held up his discs. “I’ve had no success tonight because you keep telling people my mix tape is just me at karaoke.”

“It is you at karaoke. It’s not even good karaoke; it’s a clip from your phone at Club Yamang that ends with you screaming at a bouncer as they throw you out.”

“I told them I paid my tab.” Jayson glared.

“Yeah, with a stolen credit card.”

“Man, shut up, you don’t need to blow up my spot.”

“You have no spot.” Ash was still scanning the crowd, Strip packed with tourists and grifters and hustlers enjoying the glittering facades around them. “Do you remember-”

“I remember nothing.” Ash sighed as Jayson stalked off, clutching his CDs under one arm as he looked for his next victim.

With one last look around, Ash shook his head and got back to work. It’s not like she was here to find him anyway.

~~~~~

The next night found him outside the strip club, LIV DUDS blinking in the window. Shitty exterior aside, it was always packed on Saturdays, an easy way to catch willing coeds as they streamed out of the club, high on the buzz that only scantily clad strippers provided.

He was far from the door, eyeing the crowd and waiting for someone who seemed willing to play, when a shout made him turn.

“BACHELORETTE PARTY PART TWO! WOOHOO! ALL THE FUN WITH NONE OF THE GUNSHOTS!” His jaw dropped. It was the blond again, Courtney, the one with the enormous wild streak and dirty mind. She was bouncing, vibrating, visibly excited at being in her element again. And trailing behind her? Ash watched as the three amigos walked out, the senator’s ex and the one with the sketchy job and then, trailing behind with a blush on her cheeks and smile on her face, there she was. Mandy always took his breath away, every time he saw her, and this was no exception.

He stood, frozen on the spot, watching her talk on her cell, hands gesturing, as Diana put her hands on her shoulders to hustle her into a waiting Dryve.

Crap. 

He sprinted forward but watched as the backdoor shut, car lurching and pulling out into traffic.

Fuck. He glanced around, eyes falling on an idling cab. He dashed to the window, knocking frantically.

“I need a- Gene?”

Gene rolled down his window. “’Sup, Ash?”

“I thought you were still pretending to be a human statue by the Bellagio.”

“Meh. Gold paint took forever to wash off, especially when it got inside those tiny shorts and irritated my-”

“TOO MUCH INFORMATION!” Ash grimaced, making a mental note to bleach his brain as soon as he got home. “Anyway, I need a ride. Now.”

“I’m on my break!” Gene gestured to the tuna sandwich in his hands. “I haven’t eaten all day!” The words were barely intelligible around the giant bite in his mouth. 

Ash could just make out the taillights of their car heading downtown. With a deep breath, he opened the door and yanked Gene out of the driver’s seat.

“What the-”

“Here.” Ash pulled open the back door and shoveled him in before hopping behind the wheel, turning the engine, and peeling out. He could just make out the rideshare and had suddenly never been so grateful that the Strip was a long, flat line. “Just sit and enjoy.”

There was a rustling in the back and then a thud as Gene dove towards the floor. “My sandwich!”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

“You stole my cab.” He was pouting, brushing off the grime from his food, but Ash sensed that it was halfhearted as he settled into the seat and stepped on the gas.

“Not stealing-you’re in it!”

Ash saw Gene take a giant bite of his dinner in the rear-view mirror. “Still stealing,” he sulked.

“Risk I’m willing to take.” He didn’t know what he would say to her if he caught up to them. ‘Congratulations’ seemed a little too fake, ‘Remember me?’ a little too bitter.

“Grand theft auto here. I can’t believe I took financial advice from a thief!”

“Not a thief, I’m borrowing. Much like one does with a loan when they incur a debt. But I’m giving your collateral back when we catch up with that car!” Ash concentrated on darting between traffic, keeping the Dryve in sight, winding his way up the Strip, past the familiar glittering lights and lively casinos. “And, come on! It’s Vegas! Live a little!”

“View’s different back here.”

“That’s the spirit. Enjoy the ride, man.”

Gene gazed out the window. “Did you know that Dirty Harry’s has half priced drinks tonight?”

“Yeah, they do every year on Clint Eastwood’s birthday,” Ash answered idly, focused on getting closer to the girls’ car, gaining some distance as it started to slow down.

“Hmm….” Gene peered at him. “You’ve been doing this a long time, haven’t you kid?”

“Stealing cabs?”

“Hustling on the Strip.”

“About ten years.”

“You ever think about doing something else?”

Ash thought to the manuscript saved on his laptop, forty thousand words, a treatise on hustling tourists and taking risks in the world capital of risky decisions, only partially completed before he lost his motivation, right around the time he realized he lost Mandy for good. He thought about his book and how maybe he could write from anywhere, even from the ritzy East Coast city where doctors and lawyers met and drank expensive whisky with their expensive degrees on the wall. 

He swallowed. Gene was still looking intently at him, eyes peering into him like he read minds. “Sometimes,” Ash responded with a shrug. “But right now, I’m just thinking about catching up to that Dryve.”

“Just don’t crash my cab. I don’t need anymore debt!”

“You got it.”

Finally, after running two red lights, a nerve-wracking close call with a drunk tourist, and inventive insults from the backseat that Gene should definitely trademark, the Dryve pulled up to a stop; he could see the Girl Scouts jump out and file into their hotel.

He screeched to a stop in front of the building, wincing as the valet dove out of the way. “Ok, take your cab, Gene. Here’s my stop.”

He slammed out of the cab but the “Hey, Ash?” from behind him made him turn.

“Yeah?”

“Good luck with your girl.” He had to smile. Of course Gene knew who they were chasing. Ash had always been obvious.

“Thanks, man. Thanks for everything.”

With that, he raced into the lobby of the hotel, the same hotel where he had accidentally rescued them from the gunman, the same hotel with the forest penthouse and shitty security that seemed to allow Norwegian murderers open access to guest rooms. He shook his head. Focus. No time for a walk down a truly trippy memory lane now; he had to find them. Where could they be?

Luckily, raised voices at the bar to his right were a clear signal. A loud commotion, raised voices, and breaking glass? Bingo.

He skidded into the bar and froze. And blinked. And blinked again. “Ummm....”

“Oh! Hi, Ash.” Aisha gave him a quick wave and then returned to the task at hand, trying to corral an overwhelmed Courtney while bobbing and weaving to avoid the signature hand flap. “Courtney, come on!”

“But....” Ash grimaced as her hand collided with Aisha’s shoulder, the slap barely audible with the noise of the insanity in front of him. “But...”

Diana peeked around her friends, barely visible behind the giant thing in front of him. “Hey, Ash.”

“Hi, Diana. Umm...” He blinked again, wondering if he blinked enough times, the vision in front of him would fade. Did he hit his head? “Is that an ostrich?”

She scoffed at him. “It’s an emu!”

“Why the hell do you have an emu?”

Courtney was still flapping her hands, limbs vibrating as she stood; Diana edged away from her and muttered,  “.... because we’re staying in the rain forest suite again?”

“What. Do emus even live in the rain forest?” The emu looked unfazed. 

“Who cares, Ash!?! Do I look like I watch National Geographic?”

“Yes?” He took in her prim outfit, the severe look on her face, and the bottle of electrolyte water in her hand. He nodded definitively. “Yes. You look like your idea of a wild night is binging National Geographic in a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers while wearing a face mask and drinking a green juice.”

She wrinkled her nose. “That was so specific that it feels like you were spying on me last weekend.”

He rubbed his temples. “Ok, where the hell did you get an emu?”

Courtney had calmed enough to join the world of the semi-functional and jumped in, “Ash, it’s Vegas! You can get anything here!” She lovingly stroked the neck of the bird; it seemed like it enjoyed the attention. Then again, who knew? “They still haven’t supplied any cute animals, so we had to find our own!”

“You mean, you stole it from the zoo.” Ash whirled to see Mandy walking in, a severe man in zookeeper garb trailing behind her.

“Borrowed!” Courtney’s voice did the screech-thing again.

“Stole and hid it in the suite until it escaped because no one fed it!” Mandy put her hands on her hips.

“What?!?! I left it cocktail weenies and made it Bloody Marys from the mini fridge!”

“It eats seeds. Insects. Grass.” The zookeeper edged closer. “It can’t metabolize alcohol; since water is scarce in their natural habitats, they have a tendency to consume vast amounts of liquids so it has reserves when-”

The zookeeper trailed off as the emu made a few grunting noises and, in a stunning display, threw up partially digested hot dogs and red liquid onto the bar floor as the entire group lunged backwards. They all looked at each other in stunned silence.

“Of all the vomit I thought I would see, I really didn’t think it would be from that.” Diana blinked, looking down at the violent red stain on the floor. For once, Ash agreed with her completely. The emu squawked and looked around, nosing its beak towards the bowl of peanuts on the bar. 

“Did that emu just boot and rally?” Courtney sounded as shocked as Ash felt.

The zookeeper sighed. “They really are amazing animals with a fully developed system of-”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, enough with the zoology lesson.” Aisha glared. “Can you get this thing out of here?”

The zookeeper glared. “It’s not a thing. It’s the second largest bird on Earth with a wingspan of-”

“Ok.” Mandy patted his arm. “It’s amazing, but can you please remove it? I’m sure it wants to get back to the zoo.”

“Fine.”

Ash stepped out of the way, watching the zookeeper coo in some bird-language that made the emu duck its head and follow him out of the bar.

“Wow.” Courtney had stars in her eyes. “That creature is majestic.”

Mandy shrugged, catching Ash’s eye for the first time. He felt his heart stop. “Hi, Ash.” Hell, time stopped.

“And that’s our cue...” Courtney grabbed Diana’s arm, and he barely registered them brushing by, Aisha hot on their heels as they entered the bowels of the casino. The only thing he registered was Mandy’s gaze, pinning him in place with the weight of months of unspoken words and missed opportunities. 

She stepped closer and still he couldn’t move. “Earth to Ash.”

“Hey.” He looked behind him, taking in the open pair of barstools, past the pile of emu vomit on the ground, and set his shoulders. “Do you want to grab a drink? Not Bloody Mary’s?”

He could barely focus on anything else as they settled down at the bar and waited for their drinks. The dim lighting made her seem shadowy, gauzy, as if she were floating in and out of his daydreams; he had to shake his head and take a swig as soon as the beer was placed in front of him. It seemed like she was already so close to fading away, back into her normal life and out of his reach.

“I wondered if we would find you.”

Her voice brought him back to the present, and he shrugged a shoulder. “Vegas is a small place for a local. Also, the four of you cause so much trouble it was only a matter of time.”

“Courtney causes so much trouble.”

“And you’re right there with her.” The smile was impossible to stop. “I seem to remember you getting into trouble all on your own.”

“And I seem to remember you bailing me out a few times.”

“Don’t need to do that anymore.” He winced as the words came out far more bitter than he intended.

“Ash? Why are you…?” She put her hand on his arm and he inhaled sharply, as even that simple touch sent his mind spinning. He pulled away, needing a bit of distance, any distance, something to give him space from the memories of another bar, just like this, another time when he wondered if he would ever see her again. She sighed, watching him, dark eyes cautious and waiting, before she leaned in again to aver, “You know I missed you.”

He had to turn away so she wouldn’t catch his eye roll. “You stopped texting me but it’s ok, I get it.”

“I’ve been working on some things, Ash. I’m sorry but-”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged, lifting his glass. “It’s all transient. You know how it is.” 

“We had something real. You know we did.”

“Aren’t you getting married!?!”

“WHAT?” She stared at him. “To who? What?!?”

“To Reed? The doctor?” Ash shrugged, turning away from her to hide his face. “I saw you at the chapel. And it’s your Bachelorette Party. Congratulations.”

A hand on his cheek turned his face, so he could see Mandy gaping at him. “Reed? Wait, what? No, no, no. He’s here for the wedding, too. Courtney is getting married.”

“Wait, Courtney?” Any happiness he may have felt at the implication that Mandy might be fair game was supplanted by his shock. 

“Yeah. To Mario.”

Ash was so glad that he hadn’t taken another sip of beer because it would have ended up splattered on the marble of the bar. “The MAGICIAN?”

Mandy shrugged. “I think it’s good for her. She needs a bit of stability in her life.”

“I agree, but a magician named Mindblaster is the stability here?” Ash couldn’t stop the scoff.

“Ok. So it’s not a ton of stability.” Mandy smiled. “But they really are a great fit. And she’s happy.”

“Huh.”

She caught his eye. “And I’m not getting married.”

“I see…” It felt like the air had left his lungs. “So, are you saying you’re single?”

“I don’t know about single…” Ash felt his face fall as Mandy looked up at him, curiously. “There is this guy I like….”

He turned to face the bar, grabbing his beer. Of course.

A hand on his arm stopped the bottle halfway to his mouth. “You fool. You know my type. Japanese-American street performers?”

“Pretty niche, you know.” He had to smile ruefully, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice. “You remember you left him behind, right?”

She swallowed. “Ash… I’m moving to Vegas.”

“What?”

“My firm has a rotation program for high potential lawyers.” She looked at her hands. “I was selected and get to work with a top partner at a different branch across the country for nine-month trial period. If it goes well, I might have a permanent position.” Finally, she raised her head to meet his eyes. “It’s a big career opportunity. And I requested to come to Vegas.”

He carefully placed the bottle on the bar. “Are you serious?”

“Starts in two weeks. I want to be more than a tourist here. My career is so important to me, Courtney’s moving here, but I mean…I was hoping you…”

He cut her off with his lips. He just couldn’t stop himself from kissing her, pulling her close so the bar stool tilted and she was supported by his hands on her waist, her thighs against his, reacquainting himself with her lips and her tongue and the small of her back and the soft noise she made in the back of her throat and how her hands clutched his jacket as if she was afraid he would vanish.

Pulling back, he had to grin, eyes tracing over her face, the soft look in her eyes. He’s had some big wins in his life but this one takes the cake. 

“And here I was, thinking of moving out East.”

“Wait, what?” She was still so close to him and he watched the individual lashes surrounding those beautiful eyes flutter as she gazed at him.

He shrugged, feeling bashful. “I missed you.”

“Well, you’re lucky my type is extremely rare back home.”

“Your type....” He couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his face. “Tell me all about this street performer you like. Total hunk, right?”

“No one says that anymore.”

“Dashing hustler by day, fearless mafia fighter by night?” He smirked and leaned closer, drawn to the smile playing around her lips; it called to him, to his every cell, urging him closer.

“You legit peeled away as soon as we got shot at.”

“With an amazing sense of self-preservation?”

Finally, her grin broke into a wide smile, beaming across her face, and burned into his brain. “Oh my God, shut up and kiss me again.”

So he did. Nine months of this with a chance for more? That’s a gamble he’d take every time.

.

Tags:

Perma Tag: @leelee10898 @emichelle @client-327 @choicesgremlin @brightpinkpeppercorn @thequeenofcronuts @lilyofchoices @choicesarehard @desireepow-1986

This Mess: @tinypenguincheesemachine, @lizeboredom 

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Fifty-Five

“Let’s see…” I pulled out a notepad from out of my pocket. It wasn’t there just a second ago. Never mind that detail. “Two down. Now who’s next?” I crossed out the two names that were on the notepad. Don’t worry, it wasn’t a death note. Well, it could’ve been, but that wouldn’t have made those two names very happy.

The first name on the notepad was pretty easy to take care of. All I had to do was tell them (well, him, sometimes her) that Conrad was proud of them. The second person was a bit harder. It was still worth it, I think, but damn, I sure had to pull some strings here and there to make it work. Exhausted, I made little mouths out of my hands. No, not literally (though was that possible?), just the kind of hand mouths you do when you do hand puppets.

“Who knew making people happy could be such work?” One hand asked.

“Yes! But so rewarding!” The other hand replied. On one hand, I could see that hand’s point, but on the other hand…

“It’s just exhausting, y’know? I’m human, after all.” I almost said ‘only human’, but I wasn’t only human.

“Yes! Happy Blanc is good Blanc! Happy friends even better!”

“Mm-hmm…yeah, I care about my friends. Though the first one we helped give a happy ending, Kelly Roger, I never really knew that well.” Conrad knew them better. I never really got to know Conrad that well. Not as well as a previous me, anyhow.

“Know or not, happy is good!”

“Can’t argue with that. Well, I can, but I don’t really care to.”

All the hand conversations didn’t get me anywhere. I was still wandering through those halls, passing by displays of odd little inventions. In a sense, I too was an invention. Well, in more senses than one. Would I want to be called an invention? To be honest, I’ve been called worse.

You could call me whatever you wanted to: guardian angel? Sure. Santa? In a sense, except I existed every day of the year. Hungry Hungry Hippo? I don’t see why you would call me that, but you could. Mostly, I was just a euphoric ball of energy. Well, if that ball was human shaped and that energy was concentrated in sending good vibes. The downside of the whole thing was that in the process, I sacrificed all my smarts.

All for the sake of good vibes! Also, fruit snacks. Yes, a necessary sacrifice if there ever was one. However, that too had been sacrificed. No fruit snacks. No gummy worms.

But these were not sad times! No! Given the circumstances, I should’ve been at least a bit sad, but I wasn’t. How could I be so happy considering I was aboard the ship of an all-powerful evil organization that I happened to be wandering around in because why not? It sure beat the alternative, which would’ve been hanging out on a dying planet. So, how then, could I be so happy considering I just left a dying planet with most of the people in it dead and I may never see home again? Wasn’t that sad, even just a little bit?

The answer was easy: I was happy because I was happy.

There I was, with a hop and a skip, and happy as a clam...chowder. Oh yeah. I forgot. Hunger was still a thing.

“Ugh, I need, like...what’s the term for food that makes you happy?” I pondered. “Junk food, right? Wait. No. It can’t be junk if it makes you happy.” Comfort came to mind, but that didn’t seem right, either.

I continued to brainstorm, but then I remembered that thinking didn’t make me happy, so I stopped and moved on. The nice thing about being so aimless was I couldn’t fail any goal if I didn’t have any goals to begin with. For the moment, all that I was concerned about was my growling stomach and finding something interesting. Okay, you could call that a goal.

Eventually, that aimlessness grew boring. Eventually as in within a few minutes. So I settled on the next room I came across and see what would happen. It was a long stretch before the next room, but when it finally presented itself, I lit up with joy. It was a lit room with the words on the door “Movie Study Room”.

With a name like that, how could I get bored?

Two of us against a horde of guards, soldiers, corporate security, whatever they may have been, one thing was for certain: we would be lucky to make it out unscathed.

Coriander had gotten her little laser backpack thing to work just before we had caused such a distraction. Bless that spice girl.

“They get knocked down, but they get up again!” Coriander seethed as she looked behind her. I did the same. Yikes.

“Wrong band. You’re supposed to tell me what you want. What you really, really want.”

“What?! This isn’t the time for jokes!”

Yeah. She was right. Especially because I didn’t have any means to defend myself. Though I will say it was rather refreshing to rely on someone else. Refreshing? More like depressing. What if she got hurt or killed or something?

“Hey!” I stopped. “I’m getting short of breath!”

“That’s your own fault! I didn’t choose to eat all that junk food before coming here!”

I turned my head. There were more coming. They were already within our sights and ready to shoot.

Through grit teeth, I uttered one word to Coriander.

“Fire.”

Multiple shots from the lasers hit the guards. Coriander, triumphant, turned to me with a smirk.

“How bold of you to give me commands.”

It was too late to think of a clever remark. I’d have to let her have that one. By the time she spoke those words, I was already running toward the fallen enemies, unsure if they were dead or alive, but taking a gamble all the same.

“What the hell are you doing?!” She balked.

“Being reckless!” I yelled my reply as I pried a large gun out from one of the guard’s hands. “I couldn’t let you do everything yourself, could I? That wouldn’t be any fun!”

More of those armored figures piled in. My hands shook as I pointed the heavy weapon toward them.

“I wouldn’t move if I were you. I bet I could fire this thing faster than you guys could lift a finger.”

Coriander cupped her hands “Bet!”

Oh, come on! You’re on my side! You’re not supposed to call my bluff!

“Prepare for ambush,” one of them spoke into their helmets, which I presumed had a built-in headset.

“Really? Come on, guys! I know you all got family and stuff and complex lives I’ll never know, but you’re mooks and I’m supposed to be the hero! Can’t you just play along?!”

They raised their weapons and I heard the sound of boots stampeding across the floor behind Coriander and I.

Ugh. I really don’t want to die like this. I mean, I know death was all but certain, but that doesn’t mean I want to get shot.

Coriander got behind me. Maybe she figured if she was going to get shot, she may as well let me be a human shield, first. How noble. I would’ve liked to believe I’d have done the same. In a loving way, y’know?

Still, that wasn’t about to happen. Not just “not on my watch”, but also because just as I said, death by gunfire wasn’t on my bucket list. So, in a last ditch attempt, I shot below us.

We both fell into total darkness.

Inside the room at a group of folks in lab coats staring at one of those old box TVs. Each of them looked my way.

“Hi guys,” I waved.

They all waved back. I walked past them and noticed an empty chair, so I decided to take a seat. Where I ended up sitting was a spot sandwiched between one Flashbulb member and what I had to assume was another one. Well, of course! But couldn’t I be more descriptive? Hmm…

The one to the left of me had a slicked-back hairstyle and star shaped sunglasses. Coincidentally, he also looked quite glum. To the left of me was a lady with auburn hair in one of those bob cuts. Or maybe it was in a bun. Actually, it may have been both. She had a clipboard in her hands and appeared equal measures friendly and abrasive. Just a first impression.

“How goes it?” She asked me.

“Oh!” I grinned. I wasn’t expecting such a warm welcome. “I was just passing by. Thought this place looked neat, decided to check it out.”

“What department are you in?” Was the next question in the interrogation as she tapped a pen against the clipboard.

“None, really. Well...when I first showed up here, I once told someone I was Dr. David Blaine and with the trash department. It was really just a lie, though.”

“So you’re someone who shouldn’t be here?”

I gave a hearty laugh with a sprinkle of a giggle.

“You could say that! I’m just visiting!”

The tapping grew more intense, but she didn’t look ready to break skulls, far from it. Her gentle, yet volatile demeanor reminded me of a certain someone who went back to her own home not too long ago. Ah, but I knew this person was different, of course! She wasn’t even wearing glasses!

“Well, while you should probably be dealt with, it just so happens that I’m not in any department who deals with intruders. So while you’re in here, I’d say you’re welcome to stay.”

“Cool. Say, you remind me of someone,” I pointed out.

“I get that all the time,” she waved her hand away and laughed.

“I bet! I’d get that all the time, too, if I were in your shoes. Though I doubt we wear the same size.”

We shared a laugh once again.

“Ahem,” one of the members in the room interjected. “Aren’t you going to evaluate our performances and tell us how we can improve?”

“That’s right,” she nodded.

“Oh? So that’s what you guys are up to?”

“Indeed. I’m Dr. Hepburn of the HR Department. These fine scientists were recently defeated by the inhabitants of the version of Earth they were tasked to improve. So I’m here to tell them where they went wrong and help place them in a new department where their skills may be better put to use.”

“That’s neat! But what’s that gotta do with watching movies?”

“So glad you asked! Wanna watch it with us?”

“Sure. I’ve got nothing better to do.”

One of the members of the defeated department got up and put a DVD in the TV’s built-in DVD player. As she went to sit back down, she held out her hand. I shook it. She may have been my friends’ enemies, but I wasn’t about to be rude!

“I’m Dr. Sodapop, by the way.”

“Oh! I’m...um...Dr. Pepper?”

There was no reason to say that since they already knew I wasn’t one of them.

“Well, I’m Blanc, but all my friends call me Dr. Pepper,” I backtracked. Note: none of my friends have ever called me that.

As the DVD booted up and the menu screen came up, it soon became clear what we were about to watch: Grease. Some musical movie with John Travolta that I never paid much mind. But hey, gotta appreciate the classics, I guess?

Dr. Hepburn grabbed the remote and pressed play.

The opening scene was one where a guardian angel visits one of the characters. I thought it was quite cute, and highly relatable, that was, until the guardian angel calls her a beauty school dropout. The next thing that played after a musical number was another musical number where two characters declare “you’re the one that I want”.

“See, this is where you guys went wrong,” Dr. Hepburn pointed out to them. “You thought you could turn people into zombies with ‘greased lightning’, but you forgot the power of ‘you’re the one that I want’. Rookie mistake.”

“Can someone explain this to me?” I stared at the screen and felt like I just took shrooms after thinking they were gummy bears. Just as I spoke, the credits rolled.

“Wait.” I blinked. “Is the movie over?”

Nope. Partway through the credits, there was a new scene.

“Oh, is this like one of those post-credit scenes in movies?” “Shh!” They all shushed me. All but Dr. Hepburn. She looked delighted to answer my question.

“Not at all, the movie’s just playing out of order, and we have no idea what the next scene’s gonna be.”

“It’s really the only way to watch movies,” added one of the other members. “I’m Dr. Rizzo, by the way.”

“Really? How do you figure that?”

“Well, by changing things around, it changes the whole movie and changes the meaning! We can discover new things we didn’t know before that way!” Dr. Hepburn once again answered, ever eager.

“I don’t know. I’m just confused.”

“That’s how it is at first; you watch one of these special editions and you’re a little lost, but then it starts to click and you’re like ‘this is the best movie ever!’ Ever since, I’ve grown to think that way about every movie I’ve seen,” another member added. That one, I learned, was Dr. Danny Zuko.

“I love this part!” One exclaimed. The part in question was Rizzo singing a song to what I believed was likely her love interest, someone named Sandra Dee.

“Wait. Is she Sandra Dee? I thought she was Rizzo.” I shook my head in confusion.

“You got it all wrong! She’s making fun of Sandy! They’re rivals!” One of the flashbulb members corrected me. Then another shushed me.

“Why would they be rivals? They’re in love, aren’t they?”

“No, no, no. Sandy and Danny are in love.”

“Can’t all three of them be in love, and y’know…?”

“Love triangle?”

“Ew, no. I mean, they could all be in a poly ship, y’know?”

“It’s set in the 50s.”

“So? It’s a movie.” One of them looked about ready to get up and deck me, but Dr. Rizzo stopped them. “Let them finish,” Dr. Rizzo told the other member. “They might be onto something.”

That’s when it occurred to me that some of these scientists were named after Grease characters.

“Actually, no, that was all I had. Sorry to let you all down.” I wasn’t really sorry. There was nothing to be sorry for. “By the way, you guys got popcorn?”

“HOLY FUCK!” Dr. Danny Zuko cried out, shocked. After a few heavy sighs, returned to a normal, room temperature voice. “We forgot the popcorn.”

Dr. Hepburn paused the movie, then turned to Dr. Sodapop. “Will you make us all some popcorn with your popcorn materializer?”

“You mean a microwave?”

She smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll grab a bag. One sec.”

After approximately two minutes and forty-five seconds (approximately. No one was counting), Dr. Sodapop returned with popcorn. I grabbed a handful and shoved it in my mouth. Crunch was the sound it made, though it came off as more of a “cronch”.

“We good to continue?” I asked, my voice muffled by the buttery goodness of microwaved popcorn.

“Mm-hmm,” everyone hummed in unison, then Dr. Hepburn pressed play. That I had no idea what was going to happen next was exciting in a dumb way.

But more than that, it was nice to have company.

Up above, there was a faint light. Such a light was already faint when we were closer to it, but down below, we were like a speck. I reached out and felt flesh. Now, if you’ve known me by now, you’d known I could be somewhat of a gambler. So when I reached out to hug the flesh that I felt, there was a likely chance that I was about to hug a corpse.

“Ugh! Get off of me! I can’t see a thing!” Came the lurid voice of one spice that could have tasted like dish soap depending on who was doing the tasting. To me, she tasted just fine, though.

“It’s good to see you! I thought we were both goners!” I squeezed her.

“Well, I can’t see you, so maybe we’re both dead right now.”

“No, no!” I pointed up, a gesture that was rather pointless when we couldn’t really see each other. “Look up! There’s a light! We fell! We might be...in the void of space...or...the void of the space between spaces!”

“So what you’re saying is, we’re dead? Wait. You said ‘til death do us part’. If we’re both dead, does that mean I can just walk away?”

“Nu-uh!”

She got up, pulling me up with her.

“I’m teasing. It’s clear we’re still on the ship.”

She flicked a switch on her little laser backpack thing and lights lit up. Once she did, I could see her cute face with that blue hair I loved to rustle and behind that head of hair was a wall. I went up to the wall and knocked on it. Yep. We were still on the ship.

“Turns out there’s multiple floors. That’s one mystery solved!” I snapped my fingers.

“Ever the optimist,” she groaned. “So what’s the plan now, smart one?”

“Wanna cuddle?” I suggested.

She shook her head. “Those armed guards will probably show up down here any minute. Though I don’t know why they haven’t already. If anything, what we should be doing is getting a move on.”

Aw. But she was right. I knew that going in. It may take a while before we even got a chance to catch our breaths, let alone eat or sleep.

We walked down the halls until we heard someone’s voice nearby.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

Instead of a person, what we found instead was a spare radio. Coriander picked it up.

“Yes. Those two intruders were shot dead. All clear,” she held her hand over the radio and turned to me. “We have to play along.”

“Oh. Uh. Good job? Shit. Um. Wrong number? Jeez. Okay, get it together. You can do this.”

“Is there anything you need to tell us?”

“Us? There’s more than one person there? Fuck. I stepped into this one, didn’t I? Good going, Juniper.”

My eyes widened. I just about let out a gasp.

“No, never mind me, you guys,” she continued. “You guys are probably all busy, what with your intruder killing and all.”

I snatched the radio out of Coriander’s hands.

“Hey Juniper! It’s us! Red and blue!” I yelled into the radio, unable to contain my excitement.

“Red and blue? Wait. That voice! Hey guys! I missed you!”

Coriander grabbed the radio and pulled it out of my grasp, then stuck her tongue out at me.

“Yeah, we missed you too. ‘Sup?”

“Oh, um, I’ve been fine!”

I leaned over Coriander’s shoulder and yelled. “ARE YOU OKAY? YOU’RE NOT HURT, ARE YOU?”

“Ow,” Coriander hissed. “You’re leaning too hard.”

“Oof. Sorry,” I backed away.

“Well...there was that part earlier where this guy tried to kill me with a metal bar and apparently put my brain into a computer…” she laughed. “Oh, but I’m fine now!”

“That’s not something you should laugh off, you know,” Coriander scolded. Well, hard to call it a “scold” as I could tell there was a hint of worry in her voice.

“But I’m fine, really. No need to worry. Verse came and saved the day.”

“Right, I think she mentioned something like that when we talked over the radio. Wonder what happened to her.”

“She went home. It’s all good now, I think. Well, I’m not sure. It seems like she’s got a lot to work through, but I’m glad for her.”

I felt like drawing a sigh of relief that she said ‘glad’ and not ‘happy’, for Coriander’s sake. Although she seemed fine, it may have still been a sensitive word for her.

“Yeah, us too. If nothing else comes from this suicide mission, at least we managed to help one person.”

“Nonsense! I’m not counting you guys out!”

“Okay, thanks. Just for that, let’s disregard our odds for now. You are safe now, right?”

“Well, I am in a bit of danger, actually…”

Oh shit. My mind and my heart raced together to see which one was faster.

“What’s going on?”

“Well, you see...I got roped in with the Medical Department and apparently I’m now a sub for this head nurse called Dr. Nightingale and she’s like really tough and kind of domineering.”

“She hasn’t hurt you, has she?”

“No,” then her voice got quieter, though I could still hear her. “But I kind of want her to…”

Coriander slammed her palm into her face and shook her head. After a few seconds of silence, she spoke once again into the radio. “Juniper,” she groaned.

“Yes?”

“Don’t call again unless you’re actually in trouble.”

She hung up before Juniper could so much as make a sound. Once she shoved the radio into her pocket, she began walking again.

“What? What was that all about!” I threw my hands up as I tried to keep pace with her.

“That woman’s beyond saving,” she grumbled.

“That was still rude! I think...I’m not really sure? Anyway, if she picks up again, you should apologize.”

“Sure. I ought to just accept that everyone we meet ends up being ridiculous in some way.”

“That’s right!” I snapped my fingers. “But we should still try to help them anyway!”

Right on cue, static came in from the radio. Coriander picked it up.

“Look, I’m sor--”

“Hey guys, it’s me, Casablanca.”

In other words, it was Blanc.

“Now, technically I shouldn’t be able to speak with you guys right now. I don’t have one of these things, and I’m in a room with other Flashbulb members. Also, I’m not moving my mouth right now. But if you disregard all those things, we can have a nice chat.”

Coriander handed me the radio. “It’s your ridiculous friend.”

“You mean ‘our’ ridiculous friend,” I corrected her.

“I don’t remember getting custody of them when we got together.”

Together. To + get + her = I got her. Wow. I was speechless.

“I just wanted to let you two know that technically, all the other guards should be able to hear you.”

“What?!” Both Coriander and I were in shock.

“Well, I say technically, because they didn’t. I pulled a few strings here and there to make things easier for you. Anyway, best of luck out there!”

“How’d you do that?” I asked.

“Oh you could call me an ‘Angelus Ex Machina’. Because if you think about it, this ship is one big machine. Anyway, peace!”

“Uh...okay...bye?”

I handed the radio back to the one I was together with. “Okay,” I relented. “That part was ridiculous, I’ll admit.”

With that little distraction behind us, we moved on.

So here’s when things got weird:

Rizzo had a pregnancy scare. That was the scene we were on. I had even more questions.

“So let me get this straight: Sandy, Danny, and Rizzo, are all in a relationship. But then Rizzo is also in a relationship with Kenickie, but then Danny is also in a relationship with Kenickie.”

“You got it all wrong,” Dr. Frenchie corrected me. “Rizzo is in a relationship with Kenickie and Danny is not in a relationship with Kenickie.”

“That can’t be right,” I shook my head. “You saw the way Kenickie and Danny acted toward each other. I don’t even act that way with my best of friends. They’re totally seeing each other.”

Later, as the film went on in its own way, Frenchy (the character) appeared, and was alongside one of the other T-birds. It seemed like all the T-birds went with the women in the Pink Ladies group because they felt pressured to by society. In every other scene, they acted more intimate than each other than the ones the movie insisted they were paired with. That got me thinking…

“Fellas,” I asked the male Flashbulb members in the room. “Is it gay to form a group of all guys and call yourselves the ‘T-Birds’?”

“Hmm…” They put their hands on their chins and wondered. “Yeah, a little bit,” one of them spoke up.

“Ladies,” I turned my attention to the female members. “Is it gay to form a group of all girls and call yourselves the ‘Pink Ladies’?”

“Hmm…” They also put their hands on their chins. Then, Dr. Hepburn raised her hand up and smiled a triumphant smile.

“Maybe they are all bisexual?”

“Bisexual and poly,” I agreed. “Yes, that seems to be implied with the way Kenickie is seeing Danny and Rizzo, and Rizzo is seeing Kenickie and Sandy. Then Sandy is seeing Rizzo and Danny. It’s all connected.”

Upon drawing my conclusion, the rest of the credits rolled as if to signify that my hypothesis was correct. Everyone clapped, me included. It felt like we had all cracked the secret code of the movie.

“Well, that was a fun movie, you guys. Thanks for the popcorn, too!”

“Don’t mention it,” Dr. Hepburn waved her hand away. “It was our pleasure.”

“By the way, while I’m here, what is it your guys’ department did?” I looked around.

They all shuffled their feet. “Ehh…”

“I can answer that,” Dr. Hepburn, always so reliable, spoke up. “They were part of the Population Department.”

“Oh yeah!” I perked up. “I think I recall them when I last infiltrated here!”

“Ohoho, how notorious! Well, those fine folks thought they had a population problem. Or rather, another department thought there was a population problem in the far future in one of the many timelines. First, they thought there were too few people. So they cloned everyone, and named all the clones Katherine. The naming was actually my idea,” she put her hand over her chest. “I’m named after Katharine Hepburn. With an ‘a’, but those ones with with an ‘e’. Go figure.”

“Oh, so you helped!”

“I gave them a little inspiration with the naming. You see, whenever others would see the name ‘Hepburn’, they would think of that other actress. Like, hello? Audrey who?”

“I know, right! I don’t know anyone with that name!”

“Bless your heart for that! So anyway, later on in the further future, I think it was the year 8008135? They had a different problem: too many of the people were clones of each other and there was too many people in general.”

“Wait. How do you define ‘too many people’?”

“That’s a good question!” She jotted that down in her notepad. “Well, they thought there were too many people. It’s rather odd speaking in past-tense, since here we are, in the past, but to these fine folks, those events were their past. But to the Katherine-verse, that’s a very long time from now. Well, there is no ‘now’ or ‘later’ considering where we are.”

“Yeah, I never did have a good sense of time in the first place.”

“That’s okay. Most of us here don’t. Anyway, they came up with the idea of turning all the Katherines into zombies to lower the population back down, and they’d turn them into zombies by triggering a transformation via a rendition of ‘Greased Lightning’. In the end, they were defeated by a rendition of ‘You’re the One That I Want’ and all the zombies were turned back human. But before the rendition, they did manage to reduce the population by ten percent.”

“So not a total loss,” Dr. Sodapop added.

“Basically you committed genocide,” I spoke up. “Eugenics and genocide.”

“Well, it sounds bad when you put it that way.”

“And again, how many people are too many? Who gets to decide? For that matter, why did you think that there were too many people? Just seemed like a big number, and you wanted a smaller one?”

“Well, first it was too small…” One of them began. I didn’t bother naming or knowing who.

“Okay. How much is too small? Who are you to decide what the right amount is?”

“We’re scientists! We have seen the past and the far future!”

“Hmm...yeah, I getcha,” I nodded. “But have you considered those were human lives? Also, ten percent is no small number.” “Indeed! That’s why it wasn’t a total loss!”

“Also,” another added. “They were all clones of each other meant to repopulate the earth after the numbers were too small, so technically they weren’t even that important in the grand scheme of things.”

“But try explaining that to one of them. Were any of them consulted? Did they agree to forcibly turning into a zombie to kill each other just to reduce their own population? Like, on an individual level, personally, I don’t think I’d want to turn into a zombie. Stardust, maybe. An angel, sure. But a zombie? Hmm...no.”

“What is a human life, anyway?” “We’re more concerned with the population as a whole than the life of one person, given that we are, or were, the Population Department,” further explained Dr. Sodapop.

“Now, now,” Dr. Hepburn stopped me before I could rant any further. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure why I was so worked up. Maybe it was some kind of personal kinship with clones, seeing as I was one, myself. “You shouldn’t expect too much from them. They’re not from the Ethics Department.”

“What? There’s an Ethics Department?”

“Indeed,” Dr. Rizzo spoke up. “They’re the only team of ethical scientists The Flashbulb has. Though the problem is, they’re only concerned about the ethics of their own department.”

“Mm-hmm. It seems to be a problem with micromanagement as a whole. I may have to put a comment in the suggestion box the next time I’m in the area. Though that suggestion box is about 500 kilometers away from here. So it may take me a while,” Dr. Hepburn muttered as she wrote more notes in her notepad.

“Well, you guys, it was nice to hang out with you all, even if most of you are mass murderers, but I’m bored, so I must go.”

“It was a pleasure to have some company,” Dr. Hepburn bid me farewell. That’s when I remembered.

“Oh yeah, company! Just so you guys know, I’ve got some friends here who are looking to take you guys down.”

“Interesting...which department?”

“All of them!”

I decided to stay seated. If I was going to dump more exposition, I may as well. Much to my (lack of) surprise, everyone in the room laughed.

“I wish your friends best of luck, but if they really wanted to secure their chances at some kind of victory, I’d suggest they focus their efforts on one department and call it a day.”

Each of the members chatted among themselves and seemed to agree with that notion.

“Yeah, I agree that would probably be the best course of action, but that wouldn’t really do my friends any good. The department that wronged their Earth is already gone.”

“Oh? What department was that?”

“The Morale Department! It was really quite fun, too! But then something happened and I guess you could say it all...overloaded...eh? Eh?”

“Ah, yes. Such a shame, that department. It seemed to be a success story, too.”

I can attest to that. I was both a success and a failure. A mistake. A happy accident.

“Now everyone’s gone crazed and the world’s destroying itself. Sound familiar?” I asked around.

Everyone looked at each other and shuffled their feet. Nervous glances were shared.

“Sorry about your Earth,” Dr. Hepburn waved her hand. “But about your friends, such a feat would take them a lifetime, if not several lifetimes. I have trouble just getting to my office most of the time. Besides, there’s all the logistics to consider. What will they do once they defeat us?”

“Beats me. Don’t know, don’t care. It’s their story, not mine. I’m just here to cheer them on.”

“What a good friend you are,” Dr. Hepburn did her little pen tap. “Just a little bit of advice for your friends: however they end up going about it, they should avoid the Arts and Crafts Room at all costs.”

“Room? Not department?” I was confused as all hell, but what else was new?

“Hm. Was it Arts and Crafts or the A/V Club? Sorry, I’m a little fuzzy on the details,” Dr. Hepburn bowed her head and I shook mine in turn.

“Don’t worry about it!”

“Rest assured, I won’t. Though I do wonder how it may happen some day. We’ve made great strides towards bettering humanity and give us another five, no, ten universes, and I’m sure we’ll get it right. Then, everyone will live in the ideal world, whatever that may look like.”

“Sure, but no matter how you look at it, you guys are the villains.”

“It’s all a matter of perspective. From our perspective, we’re the heroes, and those who try to stop us are the villains.”

“I’m sure I could see things that way, if not for the fact that such things like genocide and enslavement are pretty villainous if you ask me.”

“Maybe so. Nobody’s perfect, after all. But we’ll be perfect eventually.”

“Unless you guys are defeated, that is.”

She smiled and nodded.

For what it was worth, I really did appreciate the time spent with all of them, even if I admit I got a little heated there. Oh well, what could I say? I still cared about some things. Probably.

I got up out of my seat. It seemed like the right decision. There was only so much sitting and chatting I could do before I started to grow restless. I imagined the same thing applied to Euphoria, although she/they had the luxury of both being able to sit and chat and be everywhere at the same time. Me, I had to take the stairs.

“Well, at least your friends aren’t relying on any supernatural stuff, like we had to deal with,” Dr. Danny Zuko lamented. “The ones who defeated our department somehow contacted their alternate universe selves, with NO EXPLANATION AS TO HOW and then their alternate universe selves came over to our Earth and both versions ended up defeating our horde of zombies through SONG. Ridiculous, I know.”

“For sure,” I was stunned in my tracks. Every inch of me filled with goosebumps. “I thought there was a rule that if an alternate self goes to a different universe, the self in the other universe ceases to exist. Either through dying or by never having existed in that universe in the first place.”

Dr. Hepburn tapped her pen against her cheek. “Yes, indeed. That’s a universal rule that most departments in the company agree upon. However, maybe it didn’t apply to the Katherineverse?”

Sure. We were just going to call it that, huh?

“How does that make any sense?”

“Well, it may be a universal rule, but that doesn’t mean it’s an all-encompassing one.”

“That or there’s some serious inconsistencies going on and I’d like to speak with the manager.”

Everyone looked at each other.

“But everyone in The Flashbulb is the manager, technically,” Dr. Hepburn explained. Then, her eyes widened and she held her pen up. “Oh! Maybe you mean Grandmaster Flash!”

“Grandmaster Flash...I wonder if I’ve heard that one before somewhere?”

“Oh yeah. Everyone wants to be Grandmaster Flash, but so far the only Grandmaster Flash is the Grandmaster Flash and no one has met Grandmaster Flash.”

“But haven’t you spoken with the Grandmaster Flash before? Surely, you, being in HR, must mean that you’re pretty high up on the corporate ladder.”

“Erm...no. Not at all! I’m more of a glorified advisor, but even then, all I do is give advice. Most of that advice gets written down and put in a suggestion box and then none of the suggestions are implemented! But we can all learn something from our mistakes, can’t we? Like, maybe we should know why none of the suggestions never get implemented? Or maybe we should have a better means to give feedback. All things to consider.”

“So if you’re not one of the higher ups, who’s higher than you?”

“Everyone! But then again, is anyone lower than me, either? Hm...all things to consider now, isn’t it? I give advice and people listen, but my suggestions are never implemented.”

All trying to figure out how The Flashbulb worked did was make my head hurt, which also did not make me very happy. What would have made me happier was if I wasn’t so confused. Thus, I understood everything. But then I discarded all that understanding because I didn’t really care. Also my stomach growled.

“Right!” I snapped my fingers. “I forgot! I’m still hungry! That popcorn wasn’t enough! Can any of you tell me where I can get some food?”

“There’s the cafeteria,” Dr. Rizzo pointed out.

“Or, if you have a prescription, you can get something from one of the vending machines. But you’d have to go all the way to the medical department for that.”

I turned my head and smiled. “I’ll just see where I end up and go from there! Thanks guys!”

“Take care!” They all waved to me as I left the room.

As I departed, I wondered how Velvet and the spice of her life was doing. Not that I had to wonder, as if I was happy enough to know, I’d already know, but it also made me happy to wonder, so that was just as important.

What a predicament we were in. I began to laugh, which since my raiding partner couldn’t hear my thoughts, she probably thought I was laughing at nothing.

“When are we not in a predicament?” I mused in the midst of cackling laughter. “If what Blanc said was true, what’s even the use of these radios? And then, if we can’t communicate with each other if we get separated, what do we do? How are we supposed to protect Juniper if we can’t even reach her? For something so technologically advanced, I’ve noticed no cameras, no computer terminals to hack into. I feel really out of my element here.”

“Of course you would be. I tried to warn you before. Pretty sure others did too. This is uncharted territory for you and you figured you could just go in blind.”

“Yeah, well considering where we are at the moment, we’re quite literally in the dark.” There were other things to consider as well. Like where the path we were on would lead to, or if there were multiple paths we could take. Why those guards decided not to go down or shoot at us?

“I’m glad you can still find humor in spite of our situation,” Coriander retorted.

“Of course! You know me! I find ways to lighten up even the darkest of times.”

Coriander stopped. She turned around. “I know you alright,” she pointed up at me. “You use humor to deflect from whatever’s on your mind that you don’t want to deal with. So what is it that’s bothering you?”

“What isn’t?” I laughed again, but then sighed. “Everything’s coming to an end, isn’t it? I thought that there’d be a chance we’d have everything more figured out. Or that someone else would figure it out. I never really considered myself the ‘hero’ type or even a good person for that matter, but here we are, flailing about and saving the world just for the sake of it.”

“It really has been a long time coming, hasn’t it?” Coriander seemed to agree. “I mean, it doesn’t feel that long ago that a version of you and I were trying to kill each other, and now we’re here. Really, we had a lot of time to prepare, but the more dire things got, the more everything seemed to happen so much faster.”

“Aw, sweetie,” I patted her head. She swiped my arm away.

“I didn’t say you could do that!” She barked. “I’m just trying not to put you in a goddamn slump. Jeez.”

“Still, what if Verse was right?” I could already feel the slump coming. Please let me pat you more. “What if the best ending had already passed us by and now the only options left are imperfect ones?”

“What, that tired ‘you can’t save everyone’ rhetoric?”

“We already didn’t save everyone. Lots of people died. Most people, in fact,” I started to sigh once more. “When I look back, it’s like, have I ever really saved anyone?”

She stood on her tiptoes and held the hair over my forehead up, then kissed my forehead.

“Hey! How come I couldn’t pat your head but you get to do that?”

“Because the situation called for it. Anyway, you’re an idiot. First, I’m alive. Second, so is Verse. Also, there’s that alternate Blanc, but I don’t think you had a hand in that one, plus they kinda weird me out, not gonna lie. But also, even if you hadn’t saved anyone, that’s not really the point. Most people don’t save others. It’s, like, just not a thing. So just the fact that you managed to save a couple people is pretty impressive.”

“Gee, what would I do without you?”

“You’re plenty capable. Not sure why I need to remind you that.”

“Please remind me. Whenever I’m in doubt.”

“That may either be a lot of reminding or none at all, depending on how things go. But for now, let’s try to focus on what’s ahead.” I nodded.

On the subject of what was ahead, I spied some scrap metal on the floor. I thought of picking some up, but it looked far too heavy. Shame, too, as there could have been some use for them. Maybe it was for the best. More than anything, I needed my mobility.

As we were about to turn left through the hallway, we both spied a sign on the wall.

“Dead End – Turn back now,” we read aloud in unison. Coriander shone her light through the hall. It seemed to extend. I nudged her.

“It might be a dead end, but then again, it might not. We should at least keep going just to make sure.”

She nodded. We continued forward and saw another sign. That one read ‘You’re still here? Why?’ That same philosophical question had plagued my mind throughout my life.

Even still, we kept going.

That was, until we came across a wall. On the wall, the words ‘Told you so’ were written.

“I hate to say it, but –” “Then don’t,” she stopped me dead in my tracks. Well, what really stopped me was the wall, but I wasn’t about to turn back, either. No, because I noticed something off about the wall. Little chips against the corner of the wall. I took the gun I had stolen off of one of the guards and slammed it into the wall with full force. Chunks of the wall fell off and then both Coriander and I saw it: a keypad.

“What the hell? How’d you know there was a thing like that?”

I shrugged and gave a smug grin. “Didn’t, but part of that wall seemed off.”

She examined it and I leaned in close as well.

“There could be a safe behind this wall or maybe a screen will appear and a recording will play. Then again, the most likely scenario is that whatever purpose it may have once served, it no longer does anything now. What with how dark this place is, I doubt anything down here has power.”

No. That didn’t seem right. Considering how advanced and powerful The Flashbulb had been made itself out to be, seeing something so powerless and abandoned didn’t seem like them at all.

“There has to be something. We just have to find the right combination.”

“Good luck with that. Not like you can tell what the combo is just by looking at it.”

“Uhh...I’ll get a number seven, hold the fries,” I joked.

“I regret to inform you that this isn’t a fast food joint.”

I shook my head. Our banter wouldn’t get us anywhere. Though with a bit of luck, the number seven could have one of the numbers for the combination. Then again, it was so hard to tell. There were no indications as to which buttons were the correct ones, let alone, how many digits the combination was. Really, it wasn’t so much of a combination as it was a permutation, but potato pah-tah-toe. No one calls their locker codes ‘locker permutations’, do they?

“Come on, clock’s a tickin’,” Coriander’s voice invaded my mind. She was right behind me. Or beside me. There was no clock, not literally, but there was her foot, and it was tapped against the floor. Then it seemed like she began to tap her hand against the wall beside her. From my peripheral, she seemed to bob her head to and fro, as if listening to some music. Perhaps the music in her head?

Argh! This isn’t working!

But...but...I had to think of something, right? Right?

My thoughts drifted to biting my own fingers off. You know, for those times when the nails just won’t cut it.

Instead, I ran my fingers across the keypad and noticed some indentations. Sure enough, the indentations were made on four of the keys: 2, 4, 6, 8.

2...4...6...8...who do we appreciate? Hell if I know.

If my assumption was correct and the four indentations meant that it was a four-digit permutation, then while it sure narrowed things down considerably, that also left room for it to be something like 2,2,2,2 or 4,6,6,6. Which meant there were still 3024 possible permutations.

“I don’t want to be standing around here forever, you know,” I could smell her irritation even if she had been standing on a whole other planet.

“Fine! It’s...I’ve got this!”

I caught a glance of her behind me. She stood with her arms spread out to their sides.

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m exerting pressure. Are you feeling it?”

“Yes!” I grit my teeth. It wasn’t the time to be frustrated. Just as she said, “clock’s a ticking”. Oh. That was it.

I entered the code, then stood back.

After a single beep, the wall slid out and in its place was a door.

“How’d you know the right combo?” She asked.

“I went clockwise,” I explained.

“That tells me nothing!”

Upon the door was a series of text. Before we went through, we examined what it said. “Arts and Crafts Room and the A/V Club. Authorized personnel only. Abandon all hope.”

“Wasn’t that last bit a little melodramatic?” I scratched my chin.

“Yeah, I’ve abandoned all hope every since I was born, so that’s whatever to me.”

I laughed. “Abandoning all hope should be a prerequisite to arriving at The Flashbulb’s headquarters.”

We both shared a good laugh, and then went through the door. All we had to do was push it open a little and bam! We were in.

Into what, we had no clue. All around us was total darkness.

“We should hold hands just in case something bad happens,” I suggested.

“What’s wrong? Are you afraid of the dark?”

Something dropped onto the floor in front of us.

“What was that?!” She freaked out and grasped for my hand.

Spotlights began to shine down on us. Then, we could see a little better. First, what dropped on the floor? A popsicle stick. Near the dropped popsicle stick? An entire pillar, made out of popsicle sticks.

“For the record, I’m not scared! I used to sit and play video games in the dark all the time!” She let go of her hand and pointed at me.

“I mean, yeah, kinda same.”

Then, a voice from a megaphone came in.

“Hey guys! What are you two doing down here?”

We looked around to see that the voice in question came from above the popsicle pillar, where a lady with black hair in a bun (the key feature being a couple of popsicle sticks holding her hair bun together) was laying down on her stomach, her legs folded up and kicking in the wind. She looked to be painting on a piece of wood.

“Keep on your guard. She’s with them, so she’s probably really dangerous,” I whispered to Coriander.

“No shit,” she replied.

“Are you two new members or something? If so, please leave me alone! I would rather like to be focusing on my art right now!”

“Uhhh…” I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Actually,” Coriander jumped in. “We’re here to overthrow The Flashbulb and put an end to their bullshit!”

Oh no. Why’d you have to go...well, better her than me, I suppose.

“What a relief! I’m tired of those guys!” She kicked her feet and laughed. “Still, if you’re going to hurt me, please make it quick. Us interns are known to be cannon fodder.”

“Wait. You’re...an intern?” I was taken aback.

“Yeah! For sure! Well, I was. Kind of still am. You can call me Dr. Bob Ross! That’s to separate me from Dr. Ross, because if I went by that name, then people would associate me with Dr. Chandler and Dr. Phoebe. Wouldn’t want that? Or, when I’m making films, I’m Dr. Lynch! So...uh...take your pick!”

“I’m severely confused right now.”

“So you’re not our enemy?” Coriander seemed confused as well.

“Not unless you want me to be! Which would be quite the role to take...anyway, you’re in luck! Because I can help you two!”

“Really?”

Coriander and I both looked at each other.

“Maybe this Flashbulb member isn’t that bad.”

“Indeed!” She heard us. “They keep me locked away and everyone’s afraid of me, but that’s only because they’re afraid to get in touch with their artistic side! I only ever get food sent to me and art supplies, but that’s it. It’s quite the tragic tale, really. Especially how everyone thinks I’m evil.”

“If The Flashbulb is evil...and they think you’re evil...wouldn’t that make you good?” I pondered.

“Exactly! Art is the ultimate good!”

I started to smile. Maybe this Dr. Bob Ross, or this Dr. Lynch was just the lucky break Coriander and I needed.

[thecloserkin]

book review: E.L. Konigsburg, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frakenweiler (1967)

Genre: children’s literature

Is it the main pairing: yes

Is it canon: n/a

Is it explicit: n/a

Is it endgame: n/a

Is it shippable: yes

Bottom line: ‘sup i’m here to retroactively ruin your childhoods by excavating aaaaallll the incestuous subtext

“Two middle schoolers run away to New York City and live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art for a week” is a premise that would never fly in our present surveillance panopticon. It works just fine in the sixties though! This is a well-nigh perfect book and I didn’t reread it on account of the incest subtext, but once I had reread it it was impossible not to ship (and when I say ship I mean aged-up characters since these are prepubescent). Elder sister Claudia is a dreamer. Little brother Jamie is practical to a fault. They complement each other like peanut butter and jelly. Here is a typical exchange between them:

”But if we make a real discovery, I’ll know how to go back to Greenwich.” “You take the New Haven, silly. Same way as we got here.” “That’s not what I meant. I want to know how to go back to Greenwich different.” “You can take a subway to 125th Street and then take the train.”

Amazing, right? Initially she’s trying to Prove a Point by running away because she feels under-appreciated at home—props to E.L. Konigsburg who was unabashedly out here agitating for Eldest Daughter Rights:

Claudia was the oldest child and only girl and was subject to a lot of injustice.

Of all her brothers she picks Jamie to accompany her because he’s got the most money squirreled away. That moment when she singles him out still kills me:

Claudia sighed, “I don’t want Steve. Steve is one of the things in my life that I’m running away from. I want you.”

I DON’T WANT STEVE I WANT YOU. If we flash forward to halfway through the novel, by which time a period of sustained teamwork has forged Claudia and Jamie into a single unit:

What happened was: they became a team, a family of two … You might call it caring. You might even call it love. And it is very rarely, indeed, that it happens to two people at the same time—especially a brother and sister who had always spent more time with activities than they had with each other.

This passage establishes conclusively that Claudia and Jamie weren’t especially close before they ran away from home, that this adventure has changed them, and isn’t that what falling in love is, stripped down to the very kernel of its essence? You undergo a transformation. Which is why I’m arguing for a submerged courtship-and-marriage narrative beneath the surface narrative of “kids just want to have autonomy and be taken seriously” (it’s still a superb book even if you just read it on that level though!!! you don’t have to be wearing shipper goggles to enjoy it).

One of the great joys of this book is Jamie’s deadpan humor. This is him after Claudia explains they’ll be stashing a few changes of clothes in their empty instrument cases:

“All in a trumpet case? I should have taken up the bass fiddle.”

Claudia plans their getaway in excruciating detail, and from start to finish it goes off without a hitch—although when she told him to “destroy” the note she wrote, she probably didn’t expect him to swallow it lmao. Watching Jamie be dramatic is fun because he never does it out of an excess of feeling, he does it out of an excess of caution (later on he nearly batters a door down because he’s convinced Claudia is slitting her wrists in the bathtub). Jamie’s sense of humor is most effective when Claudia and Jamie are bickering like an old married couple:

”How come you didn’t take art appreciation lessons with me the summer before last?” “Well, the summer before last I had just finished first grade…It was all I could do to sound out the name of Dick and Jane’s dog.”

Let’s just take a minute to appreciate how on-point this sibling banter is. They find a candy bar on the floor, still sealed in its wrapper:

Claudia: ”Was it bitten into?”

Jamie: “No. Want half?”

Claudia: “You better not touch it, it’s probably poisoned or filled with marijuana.”

Here’s when he picked which wing of the museum to visit with the express aim of boring her:

Many painters of the Renaissance had painted huge billowy, bosomy naked ladies. She was amazed at Jamie; she thought he was too young for that. He was. She never even considered the possibility that he wanted her to be bored.

Tfw when your dumbass younger sibling does something that makes you want to throttle them:

It caused Claudia to want to embalm Jamie in a vat of mummy fluid right that minute. That would teach him inconspicuous.

Among the shenanigans they get up to while living at the Met, the time when these two INVENTED TELEPATHY to avoid getting busted by museum security has got to take the motherfucking cake. Runner-up is the fact they call each other “Sir James” and “Lady Claudia” on the way to the commissary to purchase potato chips for dinner. Then there’s the iconic bathing-in-the-wishing-fountain scene—it’s the next best thing to sharing a bath right? If this were a romance novel there would come the pivotal moment when feelings are confessed to and this is it:

”I didn’t run away to come home the same.” “Well, this has been more fun than camp. Even the food���s been better.” “But Jamie, it’s not enough.” “Yeah, I know it’s not enough. I’m hungry all the time.” “I mean the difference is not enough. Like being born with perfect pitch…or getting the Academy Award. Those are differences that will last a lifetime.” ”I think you’re different already, Claude.” “Do you?” “Yes. We’re all sane, you’re insane.” “James Kincaid!” “Ok ok I’m insane, too. I’ll go along with you.”

Note that Jamie does not disavow his prior claim—Claudia is insane, no two ways about it—but he’s willing to throw in the towel on the whole “being sane” project merely to keep her company. If that isn’t true love I don’t know what is. I just. Can’t get over how they are SO MARRIED and know each other SO WELL:

”You know, Claude, when I’m not wishing I could give you a sock right in the nose, I’m glad you’re on my team. You’re smart even if you’re hard to live with.”

”Jamie, you know, you could go clear around the world and still come home wondering if the tuna fish sandwiches at Chock Full O’Nuts still cost thirty-five cents.”

”You’re never satisfied, Claude. If you get all A’s, you wonder where are the pluses. You start out just running away, and you end up wanting to know everything.”

Yes, Claude is his pet nickname for her and he kind of employs it to annoy her but at the same time, nobody else calls her that do they?? He’s the only one. Just like he’s the only one who gets her. ”We’re the only two people in the whole world who live with it,” says Jamie, referring to a new exhibit they’ve grown attached to, but he could just have easily been referring to this entire scheme of Claudia’s that landed them in the museum in the first place.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

The mystery of the new exhibit, a cupid statue of uncertain provenance, eventually drives the kids to call on the eccentric old lady who donated it from her own personal collection, the eponymous Mrs. Frankeweiler. But first a word about why Claudia is so bloody-minded about getting the dirt on this statue, which may or may not have been carved by Michelangelo. “Finding a secret can make everything else unimportant,” and Claudia is above all someone who relishes the hoarding of secrets. Discovering proof of the statue’s authenticity would enable her to go home the same on the outside but profoundly changed on the inside. If we’re diagramming this story Claudia’s lowest point is definitely when their funds are nearly depleted and they’ve exhausted every avenue of inquiry wrt the statue:

Jamie let her cry for a while. He sat there and fidgeted and counted the number of benches. She still cried; he counted the number of people on the benches. She was still at it; he calculated the number of people per bench.

So Jamie is absolutely useless at dealing with her emotional outburst but he readily acquiesces to spending the last of their money on a taxi to Mrs. Frankenweiler’s house. This is kind of a big deal for Jamie, considering we have him on record saying this:

”I haven’t been a tightwad all my life, have I?” “As long as I’ve known you.” “Well, you’ve known me as long as I’ve known me.”

That’s the sound of me screeching loud enough to bring down the roof. First of all did you notice that for Jamie “being alive” is synonymous with “knowing Claudia”!!! Second, he’s been vetoing Claudia’s motions to take taxis instead of buses/trains for …the entire book up to this point!!! And he says yes to this hail-mary pass in the form of Mrs. Frankenweiler because he knows Claudia needs the truth more than he needs the money. He goes along with it to please her, even if it goes against his most basic instincts. And that’s Jamie Kincaid in a nutshell: he’ll follow his sister anywhere.

The reason I want to dwell on Claudia’s fetish for keeping secrets is because it strongly supports my “submerged romance narrative” reading of the novel:

Claudia doesn’t want adventure. She likes baths and feeling comfortable too much for that kind of thing. Secrets are the kind of adventure she needs … That was why planning the runaway had been such fun; it was a secret. And hiding in the museum had been a secret. But they weren’t permanent.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A PERMANENT, falling in love with your brother now there’s a secret you’d have to no choice but to take to your grave JUST SAYIN CLAUDIA. Like, yes they figure out the “truth” about the stupid statue but it’s the way they figure it out that matters, it’s Jamie inadvertently supplying the missing piece of the puzzle because as smart as Claudia is, as much as she’s 100% in the driver’s seat of this marriage partnership she couldn’t have done it without him. And the way it ends!! So open-ended!! So much scope for shipping!!! They resolve to adopt this lonely old lady since they’ve lost their own grandma(s), and to take day trips to visit her, and to keep any future visits secret from their parents too. What I love about Mrs. Frankenweiler as a character is that she’s the friend that Claudia and Jamie both desperately need. It’s instantly obvious why her and Claudia are kindred spirits; she susses out Claudia’s motives with little trouble:

”Because you found that running away from home didn’t make a real difference? You were still the same Greenwich Claudia, planning and washing and keeping things in order?”

What’s less immediately obvious is why Mrs. Frankeweiler and Jamie would get along like a house on fire:

”You won it at cards?” I could see the admiration grow in Jamie’s eyes.

Jamie, an inveterate cardsharp, is duly impressed. Mrs. Frankenweiler displays wily strategic thinking by extracting information from Jamie while Claudia’s in the bath, which devastates Claudia because she knows information is the only coin they possess to bargain with, but poor Jamie is like IN MY DEFENSE I HAVEN’T TALKED TO ANYONE ELSE FOR A WEEK AND I FORGOT HOW TO KEEP A SECRET. This is so sweet that these kids have not spoken above three sentences to another soul since they ran away from home. Their unplanned sleepover at Mrs. Frankenweiler’s also yields the funniest exchange in the entire fucking book, which goes like this:

Claudia wanted very much to let us know that she was annoyed and why. She acted cool. I pretended I didn’t notice. Jamie didn’t pretend; he simply did not notice.

“I’ll skip the soup,” Claudia announced.

“It’s good,” Jamie said. “Sure you don’t want to try it?”

I am DEAD and GONE. Claudia is subtly snubbing Mrs. Frankenweiler, but subtlety simply does not register for Jamie who operates entirely on a surface-meaning level. So he does what he does best (other than cheating at cards) which is urge Claudia to eat delicious food. He’s constantly thinking about food and whining about how hungry he is. But here he’s coming from a place of “this soup is lit, I care about Claudia so I want her to enjoy it too.” I love this scene sfm because it’s a harbinger of their future: Jamie’s totally the type to walk around obliviously in love with Claudia because as we’ve established he’s incapable of ascribing non-literal meanings to things, and she’ll have to clobber him over the head with the truth and it will be glorious. For those of us who ship incest because we like the idea of “secret” knowledge or a “hidden” text that only we have access to, this is it: This book is pretty much perfect.

While we’re here allow me to rec this pitch-perfect futurefic (11k words) chronicling Claudia and Jamie’s further adventures after they go home. It’s not shipfic but it’s startlingly in-character—even the authorial voice reads like Konigsburg’s—and since canon itself is a trove of shippy content, i’m a happy customer. This is Jamie’s BFF Bruce (the one he regularly cheats at cards): “Look, Jamie, am I your best friend or not? Or is it your stupid sister?” “SHE’S NOT STUPID!”

[whatusernamex3000]

Kacxa Week 2019 Day 3: Life on Earth

Sort of a combo of day 2 and 3 prompt.

-

When she first came to Earth as part of the Altea-Galra Protection Coalition, she never expected to fall in love with the first human she met. 

Earth had finally become advanced enough to join the Coalition, effectively opening their planet to all beings in the universe. Acxa as a young general to Prince Lotor was one of the people that volunteered to be one of the first to go to Earth. She would represent Daibazaal and the princess of Altea, Allura, would be representing her people. She was going to be accompanied by her handmaiden Romelle which she was thankful for. Prince Lotor and Princess Allura were set to be married later in the year and the two spent a lot of time together, therefore Romelle and her had become close. Their engagement would completely unify the two planets who were without a doubt the most powerful and wealthy planets in the known universe and desired to spread their peace throughout the universe. 

With Earth open, they needed to start trade talks and housing for new species that would seek residency, and a plethora of other things that came with joining the Coalition. 

But first, Earth requested that the representatives learn about life on Earth. About their people, their animals, resources, and overall way of life. 

So Acxa found herself on a ship on her way to Earth with the princess and her closest friend. She was entirely prepared for total professionalism, but that flew out the window when she met Keith. 

Keith was handsome, but shy and that kept her enamored with him. According to the head of the Garrison, he was the best pilot in Earth's history. They wanted to show off their best, so they were greeted with Earth's best leader, their best cook, fighter, writer, director, strategist, designer, etc. But Acxa only cared about the pilot with his violet eyes. It seemed she wasn't the only one who noticed Keith's attractiveness when she felt Romelle nudging her. "He's cute." All she could do was hide her blush and nod.

If she had known that learning about Earth would be spending 8 Vargas a quintent in a classroom learning all they could about the planet. Princess Allura didn't seem bothered by it, diplomacy was what she was raised on. Neither were the other forty diplomats that came as well. She was jealous of Romelle who didn't have to attend these classes due to her just being a handmaid. And even more so when she saw Romelle every break with the flippity haired pilot, laughing and having a good time. 

Finally after two movements of just sitting back and watching, she decided to make a move. It was lunch and most of the "bests" had departed, no longer needed to impress the diplomats. But Keith remained, and she didn't want to miss her chance. 

Romelle and Keith were sitting with a couple of the younger diplomats and she felt nervous. She really hadn't talked much to Keith outside of passing conversations and their first introduction. But she knew they shared a common interest, their love for flying. Acxa was no slouch when it came to flying, but the clips she'd seen of Keith flying was unbelievable. 

"May I join you?" She asked, accidentally interrupting the laughing group. 

"Of course, you're more than welcome her," Keith told her. She expected Romelle to be the one, but when Keith said it, it filled her stomach with butterflies. She had never felt like this before. 

A few more quintents passed and she hadn't gone to sit back with Keith. She had enjoyed her time but noticed that everyone gravitated to Keith and she felt uncomfortable about it. She thought she was different, that she saw Keith as something other than an amazing pilot and attractive boy, but she was wrong. She didn't actually know him. 

So there she was sitting in her class. Tomorrow was the last class, and then they would perform a "graduation" which she didn't know what the point was. But after tomorrow she could get off this rock and forget all about Keith and his perfect face. 

She was staring out the window as the teacher explained the importance of Earth inventing hyperspace travel. Glara have had that type of travel for 10,000 deca-phoebs, she just didn't care. But as it turns out, staring out the window changed her life. 

A rock hit the window causing her to search for the thrower. It was Keith, standing there in his indistinguishable red jacket, a smirk on his face. He motioned his head telling her to meet him outside. She was confused why he would want to meet up with her, but while the instructor's back was turned, she made her escape. 

He was waiting for her, leaning on a matching red hoverbike. "Hey Acxa," he said with a large smile. She was shocked that he remembered her name. 

"H-hi Keith." 

"I'm glad you came. Was worried you'd want to stay in there and learn more about Earth," he teased causing her to blush. "But they failed to teach you one of the most important things to do in class." 

Acxa tilted her head confused. 

"Ditching," he said, tossing her a black jacket. She glanced down at the jacket and back at him, still confused. "well you gotta look the part." 

Without anymore hesitation, she put the black leather jacket on. It smelt like Keith… not that she focused on his smell. "It suits you," he said with a large smile, and if Acxa saw correctly, a small blush. "Now come on," Keith beckoned, straddling his bike. 

She followed, sitting behind him and instinctively wrapped her arms around his waist. "Where are we going?" 

"It's a surprise," was all Keith told her before starting the bike and taking off into the desert.

They rode for some time, her hands pulling more at Keith's waist as the as their acceleration increased. Her heartbeat quickened as well. In all the excitement, her face ended up cuddled into Keith's back. A large smile on her face. She could get used to this. 

Finally, they slowed to a complete stop. They had arrived. "You can let go now," Keith whispered back at her. She was thankful Keith hadn't looked completely back at her, she was blushing ridiculously. Her grip on him stopped as she stepped off the bike. 

Keith had taken them to a run down shack in the middle of the desert. "Are you planning on murdering me?" She joked causing Keith to blush. 

"It wasn't always like this, I swear. I just haven't been her in a while," he took her by the hand and led her to the house. It was unnatural just how perfectly their hands fit together, she thought. "Don't worry though. We aren't actually going inside." He guided her around the house to where she witnessed the most beautiful image she had ever seen. 

On the other side of the house was a beautiful small patch of grass surrounded by flowers, she cursed herself for zoning out when the special botanologist taught them about flowers. But they were red, pink, and white with spikes on the stem and they were absolutely stunning. There was a small woven basket sitting on a checkered red/white blanket that rested on the patch of grass. Beyond, was a setting sun the highlighted the valley below in a memorizing orange hue. She looked up to see patches of blue, purple, and orange streaking across the sky. "Wow," was all she could manage to say. 

"I know." 

He guided her to the blanket where they both sat in comfortable silence as Keith pulled out food and drinks. "Uhh.. this is a picnic. It's quite common here on Earth. Most people do it in a park. It's just homemade food, typically sandwiches and some drunks. But I got us some wine? If you don't want any I also have grapefruit juice. I heard you say it was your favorite thing about Earth," he explained with a koi smile. A smile that made her heart dance. 

Off behind them was a small pit with wood in the middle. Keith explained that as the sun went down it would get cold and the fire would keep them warm. So they ate their sandwiches in peace and Acxa willed herself to try the wine, which had a funny grape taste. Overall she liked it. 

They watched the sunset and Acxa could swear it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. If you asked Keith, it was the second most, he was sitting next to the first. 

As it got dark, Keith started the fire and the two cuddled closer. "So why did you ask me?" 

"Well Romelle told me that you didn't like all the learning. And I wanted to see you before you guys all left. We didn't really get a chance to spend time together." Acxa found herself cursing herself again. This was because of her, she pulled away just because she didn't want to get too attached. "And well… you're pretty… and i… well the thing is…" 

Acxa kept leaning in closer with each flustered word Keith was saying. People gravitate towards Keith, and she was no exception.

Keith stopped sputtering out of control when he noticed her smile. Her beauty, especially highlighted by the firelight was… overwhelming. He remembered noticing her the second she stepped off the ship. "Wow" was the only thing he could say when he looked at her. Then Shiro told him she was a heralded pilot for her people and that made him more enthralled with her. But she never gave him a chance, despite him befriending Romelle, the self proclaimed best friend of Acxa. He learned all he could about the Galra girl, including that she was actually half Galra. He even admitted to Romelle he was crushing on her despite barely having a complete conversation with her. All he wanted was a chance. 

They were both leaning in when Keith shouted, "Wait". It startled both of them, and pulled Acxa out of her reverie. She thought that they were going to kiss, and was more disappointed than she wanted to be at the fact that they didn't. "I forgot why I took you out here," he said with such enthusiasm and joy that she couldn't stay upset long. 

"So you are going to murder me," she teased.

Keith shot her a playful look. "Just wait." He quickly put out the small fire that kept them warm. He grabbed her hand and led her to the blanket where be pulled down so she was laying on her back. Acxa glanced at their still intertwined hands. If Keith had noticed, he didn't say anything. But what she saw took her breath away. 

She was wrong, the sunset wasn't the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. The millions of stars that filled the sky were. If you asked Keith, he would say it was the second most beautiful instead of the sunset. The first was laying beside him holding his hand. 

"This is what I wanted to show you. You've been learning about life on Earth but you haven't lived it. We have our problems, but if you look, there's always beauty."

Acxa agreed, squeezing his hand. "Thank you." 

If this was life on Earth, she might have to stick around a little bit longer. 

[ariadnelives]

Chapter 19 -- The Parting Gifts

[Missed earlier chapters? Go catch up here! Otherwise, welcome back! Oh, and make sure to join our discord server! Chapter can also be found @ ao3”]

“I just don’t really have any use for a bunch of church junk,” Ariadne said, pulling the lumpy duffel bag out of the safe. “It’s not like I believe in this stuff— weird, it’s lighter than I expected— but it feels wrong to sell it on the black market.”

“We could give it to a museum,” Pilar suggested. “It’ll probably do a lot more to reclaim our legend than attacking the cult, I mean, think of how it looks, the cult stole all those priceless artifacts and hoarded them in a basement for decades until real Ariadne’s Angels liberated them and gave them back to the people?”

“Legally speaking, it’s probably for the best that the museum not be linked to a known criminal syndicate,” Ariadne replied, “but you know how rumors are, I’m sure people will talk.”

“Now,” Pilar said, “let’s look inside and see what we’ve won.” She carefully zipped it open and peered inside, then immediately snapped it closed again.

“What is it?” Ariadne asked, “something good?”

“Nope,” Pilar said, “we are definitely not donating this to a museum.”

“What is— let me see,” Ariadne said, snatching the bag away from her, “oh my god?!”

“What do we do with this?!” Pilar tried to maintain some semblance of calm. She was no stranger to fear, of course, the life of a pirate usually gives one a certain tolerance for danger. Surprise, on the other hand, is something that can’t really be trained away. If you have some reason to expect a surprise, the ensuing response can be avoided, but as Pilar had never quite found herself in this situation, she had no reason to expect the contents of the bag and, reasonably, found herself beginning to panic.

“Go… Go get your sister… Sweettalk too… And a bucket.” Ariadne dry-heaved. “Bucket first, time is a factor on the bucket.”

“Was it scary?” ViLaz asked Deathsbane and Sweettalk, who’d come to visit her with a large tub of graham crackers and cannoli cream.

“Was whuh scary?” Sasha asked, her mouth full of cannoli cream.

“The larceny,” ViLaz replied.

“Well, that’s the fanciest word I’ve ever heard for a Stealy Burgle,” Sweettalk said, but ViLaz didn’t seem to register the joke.

“It was scary seeing Sweettalk get shot,” Sasha admitted.

“You got shot?!” ViLaz asked with a mix of genuine concern and somewhat macabre fascination.

“That was my role in the robbery,” Sweettalk explained. “We didn’t want to hurt anyone for real, but we needed the security team to think we were a real threat, so Sasha here gave me a few doses of her healing serum and we let Spacebreather shoot me.”

Sasha hesitated. “I knew she’d be okay, but it was still scary to see my girlfriend shot, you know?”

ViLaz scooped too much cannoli cream onto a single graham cracker. “It wasn’t scary getting shot?”

“I’d trust Spacebreather with my life, even though she hates me,” Sweettalk explained, and created a small sandwich out of the crackers and cream.

Sasha moved to reassure Sweettalk, “She doesn’t hate you, she—”

“Babe, she despises me.”

“I thought she was unaware of your relationship?” ViLaz asked.

Sweettalk laughed. “Yeah, that’s why she didn’t shoot me for real.”

ViLaz looked somewhat disheartened. “Does she have a problem with your… lifestyle?”

“I mean...” Sweettalk seemed confused by this, “we work for her, so I’m pretty sure she knows we’re criminals.”

“Hey, speaking of,” Sasha asked, “you seem pretty chill with us being criminals.”

“Well, casinos are dens of sin, right?” ViLaz said, “so, it isn’t really bad if you steal from them.”

Sweettalk and Sasha exchanged a glance.

“I have problems with… like maybe half of that,” Sasha said.

“I was sorry to hear about Prescott, though,” ViLaz said, twiddling a graham cracker between her fingers.

Sweettalk chuckled. “Why?”

“I assume his death brings you sadness,” ViLaz explained, “you’ve known him for a long time.”

“I don’t even fully believe he’s dead,” Sasha replied casually, “I mean, we just saw how easy it is to fake a fatal shooting, and Prescott’s nothing if he’s not a slippery bastard.”

“He made my life hell, I’m glad he’s gone,” Sweettalk would have elaborated more on this, but she didn’t get the chance, since at this moment Spacebreather came barrelling into the mess hall.

“Sasha, Sweettalk, you’ve g—” she gagged, collected herself, and continued, “—you’ve gotta come to the mess hall right away.”

“Everything okay?” Sasha asked.

“Oh, no, you’ve eaten. Grab a few buckets. ViLaz, you come too, we’re gonna need your input when we pick apart Prescott’s dossier on the Zealot.”

The girls rushed up the stairs to find Ariadne holding the Jumper in her hand and heaving over a bucket, with an open safe on the table and Prescott’s duffel bag laying open in front of it.

None of them blinked for a moment.

“Well, I guess I was wrong,” Sasha said, “Prescott is definitely dead for real.”

Sasha was right, as they could all see, as they looked into Prescott’s lifeless, glazed-over eyes staring back at them sideways from the inside of the bag. His head had been cleanly severed, but there was still a fair amount of blood coming from the area where a screwdriver had been driven through the side of his skull, firmly pinning a blood-stained note to his remains.

The note read, “YOUR MOVE. XOXOXO NICKS”

The head was quickly moved to the infirmary and placed in a stasis jar, with a cloth over it so nobody had to look at it. Sasha, fearing that someone would be curious and peek under the cloth with no way of guessing what was underneath, decided to stick a note to the cloth reading “SEVERED HEAD - DO NOT TOSS.”

Shockingly, the crew had very little experience dealing with human remains. For the most part, Deathsbane was very good at keeping them all alive and, for the most part, functioning. Most of the actual corpses that had seen the inside of the station were medical cadavers that Sasha had gently scammed into her possession for academic purposes. There was at least one instance where Spacebreather had killed an assailant in the station, but in that instance the body didn’t stay onboard for very long.

However, for the most part, the human remains Sasha had to deal with were mostly things like amputated limbs or fingers that had been lost in tragic but absolutely unavoidable fireworks accidents. It rarely fazed her, since she was skilled enough to regrow most lost limbs and damaged organs. The regenerative serum she invented helped, but there were injuries where they would need assistance from lab-grown transplants or, in very extreme cases like ViLaz, she would enlist Ariadne’s help in crafting cybernetic replacements.

This shook her a little more than any of that, though. She briefly wondered if she’d be able to build a life support system that could sustain Prescott if she could heal his injuries, but she knew the deep wound to his brain would prove too much for her to repair to working condition. The serum would be able to repair the physical damage, with a helping hand from Sasha’s own equipment, but the brain was a unique organ.

Most human tissues and organs, even bones, can heal back the way they were before if they’re configured properly, given enough time. Set a broken bone or stitch up a laceration and leave it for long enough, it will eventually heal. Treat it properly and there won’t even be a noticeable scar. Sasha’s serum just changed that process from a matter of weeks or months to a matter of minutes or even seconds. With a quickly-applied dose of her serum, someone could survive a stab to the heart or exposure to the vacuum of deep space, and walk away feeling nothing more severe than a hangover.

What the serum could not do, however, is restore information lost when extensive damage is done to the human brain. If someone, for instance, sustained damage to the part of their brain that allowed them to create and store memories, if applied carefully, the serum could theoretically repair that damage and allow them to create new memories. It could not, however, restore the memories destroyed when their spouse’s lover leapt at them from behind with an icepick.

If Sasha were to build a life support system, she could potentially use the serum to heal the bullet wound to the brain and restore the processes of life in the head. However, she dismissed this thought quickly. It would have no memories or consciousness, no cognitive abilities whatsoever, and no potential for quality of life. Reviving it would be a waste of time and resources, and more importantly, it would be completely inhumane. There’s really no point, Sasha figured, in cheating death at the expense of life.

Once the head was covered, she hurried back to the War Room just in time to hear Ariadne tell her that she and Pilar would be taking ViLaz back to their quarters to discuss Prescott’s dossier on the Zealot, and that they would brief the rest of the crew after dinner that night.

“Oh,” Ariadne added in a hurry. “You might wanna go keep Sweettalk company, Prescott left another document on the drive and addressed it to her. I don’t know what it says, but I doubt it’s something she’ll want to be alone after reading.”

“Roger,” Sasha said, and filed into the War Room to join Sweettalk.

[okuraiani]

Ikemen Revolution – Oliver Knight Route Part 1

Okay, Oliver’s route came out today, so I got right into it as soon as I could. I know that some people want to play it but can’t, because they don’t understand Japanese. So I tried to jot down appropriate translations while I read the first part. My knowledge in Japanese is also very limited and fragmented at most, but even though there are bound to be a ton of mistakes, I think I caught the gist of most of the lines. Don’t mind if I took some liberties in the translation here and there, though.

So if you are interested and not afraid to spoil the story for yourself, please read this first part if you like.

PART 1 CHAPTER 1

My prince isn’t riding on a white horse. He spouts all kind of insults, and appeared in front of me walking on foot. Wearing a high-quality silk hat, he takes on the form of a 13-year-old boy.

A few days have passed since my life with the black army began. With a shovel in hand I was in the barrack’s garden with Sirius.

[Alice] “Sirius, is this enough for watering them?”

[Sirius] “Yes, that’s enough.”

Sirius narrows his eyes to the flowers that were bathed in plenty of water.

[Sirius] “They are properly watered up to the edge of the flower bed. Thanks for your help.”

(I’m glad he’s pleased with it!)

[Alice] “What should I do next?”

[Sirius] “Well, can you put 5 seeds into this opening?”

[Alice] “Are those flower seeds?”

[Sirius] “No, they are Brussels sprouts. Luka said he wants to put them into a soup.”

[Alice] “Wow, I’m looking forward to that! If it’s a soup Luka makes, it surely will be delicious.”

Every night, Luka’s home-made dishes line up on the table and make me smile when I eat them without fail.

[Sirius] “Right, Luka has told me it’s a recipe you’ll like.” “He wants to make it again, so tell him later if you like it.”

[Alice] “Of course!”

(Everyone is so kind...)

Like Sirius, who invited me to take care of the flower bed so I won’t be bored.

(It’s not only the executives, even the soldiers ask me to join them so I won’t be worried.)

That’s why I wanted to thank the Black Army for their kindness.

[Sirius] “By the way, Little Lady, are you gradually getting used to living in the army?”

[Alice] “Yes! Since I’ve come to know everyone well.” “Moreover, it’s more peaceful than I thought.”

(I wondered what would happen when the Red Army declared war on the Black Army, though.)

There has been no movement since that day and there is no sign that the Red Army will attack.

(It would be nice if I can return to London without anything happening until the next full moon.)

I wished for that while sowing the seeds and applying soil, when...

[Fenrir] “Hey, old man.”

[Alice] “Wah!”

Fenrir’s face suddenly pops up behind Sirius’ back and I involuntarily let out my voice.

[Sirius] “Who’s an old man? Target practice seems to be over.”

[Fenrir] “That’s right. So, won’t you go on a date with me now, Alice?”

[Alice] “A date!?”

[Sirius] “... Fenrir.”

[Fenrir] “It’s just a walk. Come on, I’m going to go ask regarding ‘that matter’.”

[Sirius] “Oh, that one. Don’t forget to pass the letter along the way.”

[Fenrir] “Will do.”

(I wonder what ‘that matter’ is?)

I was puzzled as Fenrir thrusts his hands into his pockets and bent his body towards me.

[Fenrir] “You’ll understand if you come along.” “You are pretty much tired of being stuck in the barracks, aren’t you?”

PART 1 CHAPTER 2

[Fenrir] “You are pretty much tired of being stuck in the barracks, aren’t you?”

(Oh, so he talked to me, so I won’t be bored.)

Living in the barracks was nice, but the truth was, I secretly wanted to go around and take a look at Cradle.

[Alice] “Is it really okay if I come along?”

[Fenrir] “I don’t mind. Let’s go to our unique genius inventor together.”

[Alice] “A genius inventor?”

[Fenrir] “You two already met, didn’t you? The tiny guy who wears a silk hat.”

(He means...)

-FLASHBACK-

[Oliver] “Don’t treat me like a little kid, stupid.”

-FLASHBACK END-

[Alice] “Are you perhaps talking about Oliver?”

— at the same time.

[Oliver] “Achoo!”

In a seasoned house located at the corner of the Central District, the sneeze of a small hatter sounded.

[Blanc] “Oh my, did you catch a cold?”

While holding a sandwich for lunch, Blanc the White Rabbit leans his head over the table.

[Oliver] “You’re wrong. Of course, it’s because someone is gossiping about me.”

[Blanc] “It’s good if it is only that. But tell me if you feel ill.” “You were up until late last night, so I’m worried.”

[Oliver] “Until late at night? That’s just your imagination.”

[Blanc] “You can’t fool my ears. However small the noise is, I won’t miss it.

Oliver shrugged as he put a thick slice of cheese between two pieces of bread.

[Oliver] “Even though you’re already an old white rabbit.”

[Blanc] “Hmm? Did I hear you say Carrot Cake for dinner would be nice?”

[Oliver] “Stop it! Don’t let even the name of that repulsive orange object leave your mouth!”

[Blanc] “Even though carrots are so tasty.”

[Oliver] “Now listen, you...”

Without caring about the dissatisfied gaze aimed at him, Blanc takes a sip of his hot tea.

[Blanc] “That aside, you seem to be busy recently.”

[Oliver] “Well, there is a deadline coming up soon.”

[Blanc] “I really wish you could hire an assistant.”

[Oliver] “I wouldn’t have any trouble if that were possible.”

PART 1 CHAPTER 3

[Blanc] “So you do have the intention to hire one.”

[Oliver] “Only the intention, though. But in reality, there is no one who would want to work as an assistant for a child like this.”

Oliver wipes his mouth with a napkin, as he jumps down from the high chair.

[Oliver] “Thanks for the food.”

The eyes behind the glasses quietly watch over the small back heading back into the garage.

[Blanc] “I think there is someone who would like to, though.”

— a few hours after leaving the Black Barracks.

(Wow, that’s so cute!)

The place I went to together with Fenrir was a lovely house that looked like it came right out of a fairy tale.

[Alice] “This is Oliver’s home?”

[Fenrir] “To be exact, this is Blanc’s house. Oliver is just a freeloader.”

[Alice] “So he doesn’t live with his parents.”

[Fenrir] “Come to think of it, I have never seen Oliver’s parents.” “And Blanc is more like someone from the Red Territory...”

Before Fenrir could ring the entrance bell, the door opened from the inside.

[Blanc] “I thought I heard voices. Welcome, Fenrir and Alice.”

[Alice] “Good afternoon, Blanc!”

[Blanc] “I knew that you were taken in by the Black Army, but you seem more energetic than ever.”

With a smile on his face, Blanc draws closer in long strides.

[Blanc] “I want the lovely you to always smile like that.” “And moreover, don’t you think a smile, as if it were magic, will boost your cuteness even further?”

[Alice] “Uhm...”

(What should I do? I have trouble coming up with an answer!)

Becoming flustered when the words are delivered one after another, Fenrir throws a glance into the inside of the house.

[Fenrir] “Say, is Oliver home?”

[Blanc] “He is. Although he is holed up in the garage right now.” “Let’s stop talking while standing and go inside.”

(Thank goodness...)

[Alice] “Well then, excuse me for disturbing.”

(Amazing, there is lots of beautiful antique furniture!)

When standing next the others inside the living room and gazing at the old but tasteful furniture, Fenrir took out something from his pockets.

[Fenrir] “Blanc, I have a letter from our staff officer for you.”

PART 1 CHAPTER 4

[Fenrir] “Blanc, I have a letter from our staff officer for you.”

Blanc accepts the letter presented to him.

[Blanc] “Oh, it’s the attendance roster for the farewell party. Thank you.” “Incidentally, there are some things I want to check on—”

(Are they perhaps talking about work?)

Noticing my gaze, Blanc pointed to the back of the house.

[Blanc] “Lady, I am sorry, but could you go to the garage over there and call Oliver over for me?” “I have some excellent carrot jelly. Let’s make tea for four people.”

(Carrot jelly? It’s the first time I hear of it, but it sounds delicious!)

[Alice] “I understand. Please leave it to me!”

As per Blanc’s request I knocked on the garage’s door, but there was no answer.

(I wonder if it’s okay to go inside?)

[Alice] “Excuse me, I’m coming in.”

When opening the door with a rattle and entering the garage...

(Huh!?)

There were packages lined up messily, seeming to cause an avalanche any time soon. As I peek inside, I could see a child’s back in the middle of the packages.

[Oliver] “London bridge is broken down, My fair lady...”

(Wait a minute, this song... It’s a song from London, right?) (So even in Cradle there are people who know about it.)

After listening to him humming in a good mood for a while, I came back to my senses with a start.

(This won’t do. I was asked to call him over.)

[Alice] “Uhm, Oliver—”

The moment I took the first step, something jumped out of the shelf next to me...

[Alice] “Eek!?”

The object crossing my field of vision caused me to lose my balance and fall on my behind.

In that instance, the piled up packages swayed slightly.

(Huh? No, no no no!)

A: “Oliver, run!” B: “Oliver, there’s something in here!” C: “Oliver, help!”

[Oliver] “You’re so noisy. What on earth—”

The next moment, the packages caused an avalanche, tumbling to the floor and flashily whirling up the dust.

(Oh shoot! Are they broken!?)

[Oliver] “... hey, little girl.”

PART 1 CHAPTER 5

[Alice] “!”

When I noticed, Oliver was looking down at me with sharp eyes. At the air of intimidation that didn’t fit a child at all, my heart starts to thump heavily.

[Oliver] “Aren’t you brave, breaking my inventions after entering my workshop without permission?”

[Alice] “Inventions?”

[Oliver] “The wreckage scattered about at your feet.”

When I look down, some parts have jumped out of several boxes.

[Alice] “I’m— I’m so sorry!”

[Oliver] “Muu Muu, that’s also your joint liability.”

(Muu Muu...?)

At the end of his demonic gaze, a cute flying squirrel is clinging to the desk. When Oliver reaches out with a slender hand, the flying squirrel escaped at once.

[Oliver] “What a quick-to-escape fellow.”

(So the things that jumped out earlier was that flying squirrel.)

[Alice] “Is he your pet, Oliver?”

[Oliver] “No. He’s just the former inhabitant that has settled in the garage.”

[Alice] “I see… He is cute.”

[Oliver] “Don’t try to distract.”

[Alice] “Mm!”

Suddenly, strong-minded eyes moved closer to my face.

(Huh? What?)

When I try to escape, Oliver puts his hand on the wall, cornering me—

[Oliver] “So, how are you going to take responsibility for breaking my inventions?”

(He is so close!)

As he stares at me with big, clear gray eyes, the tension increases.

[Alice] “I’m really sorry! I want to compensate you, but I have no money that is valid in Cradle...”

[Oliver] “Don’t worry. I have no interest in taking money from brats.” “Instead, you can pay with your body. How about it?”

(With my body... wait, what!?)

[Alice] “Do you understand what you are saying!?”

[Oliver] “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t say it, would I?” “First of all, how about you show me what you’ve got?”

I was so surprised that I could hardly find any words to say to Oliver, who raised the edge of his lips.

(This kid... What a precocious brat!)