#I’m realizing it happens too when I post too much fanart in a row��� I have curator disease??? 🫨

[eternal-reverie]

got the posting anxiety bad tonight

[thievinghippo]

Hippo’s Writing Year in Review 2021

Better late than never, right? When I realized this would be the ninth year in a row for this review, I knew I needed to get it done, even if it wasn’t quite in a timely manner.

This is the ninth (NINTH) year I’ve done a review. Previous years can be found here: 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020

So. 2021. What a fun year, huh? When I look back at 2021, writing saved me in the first half of the year. Taking care of my dad and then dealing with his passing? If I didn’t have fic, I don’t know what I would have done.

According to my spreadsheet, I wrote 301,430 words. That’s by far the most number of I’ve written written in a year. I had never even broken 200k before this year. What I’m actually really proud of is the fact that I wrote something every single month of the year. That’s actually never happened before. Every previous year I go at least one month without writing.

Now, while I wrote a lot, not all that much got posted. I’m still trying to write a completed story before I start posting, which means I currently have a half-dozen half-finished fics. I’ll finish them someday!

Highlights of 2021!

Waiting for Spring - My CQL/MXTX MLB AU. By far the best thing I’ve ever written. Plus, it actually got some notice, which is really cool. There’s even fanart!

Gentle Ashes - An Andromeda fic, focusing on Ellen Ryder. I’m really proud of this one

The Untamed Effect - My CQL/MXTX - Mass Effect cross-over. I’ll have a postmortem up in a couple of days. But this was a blast to write

I have no idea what to expect in 2022. The first two months of the year haven’t been too hot, so we’ll see. I’m going set a goal of 240,000 words again, because I’ve proven I can do that. I also hope I can actually finish some things so I can get them posted.

Happy Creating in 2022! <3

[scripting-life]

FFVII: returning to my first love

 *peeks out of the corner of my lurking spot*

Hello? Anybody out there? It’s only been, oh you know, four-ish years since the last time I’ve posted anything here. I apologize in advance for anybody who’s still following me from my Castle days. If you couldn’t tell from my extended absence, I’ve mostly moved on. Castle and Beckett were fantastic characters that let me to play with some deep-dive analyses, and Castle will always hold a special place in my heart as my comfort show and my first real and extended experience with online fandom. I’ll always be grateful to the community I’ve had the joy of interacting with (or, the community with which I’ve had the joy of interacting, as Castle would correct me my dangling preposition).

I honestly didn’t think I would ever have reason to come back to Tumblr after Castle ended. But the FF7 Remake has returned me to my very first love--when I was young and innocent and before I knew anything about OTPs or ship wars. I’ve been back lurking for several months now and seeing all the fanart/fanfics and fun theories and analyses has reignited my enthusiasm for the FF7 franchise. It’s also fun coming back to this franchise with a more mature understanding of the themes/concepts that completely flew over my head as a young preteen.

(This ended up being super long, so the rest is below the cut to spare everyone the pain of scrolling. Apparently, my rambling tendencies have not changed at all. lol.)

When FF7R was officially announced (five freaking years ago!), I was filled with apprehension. FF7 was my first taste of a “grown-up” game. I was 11 and played my brother’s copy of the OG on PC in 1-2 hours spurts on the weekends when I visited his apartment. It took me months, if not years, to finish the game (I ended up stealing his copy to play on our computer at home...lol), and I was so blown away by it. I remember the exact moment I finished it and how I was literally shaking as I watched the ending FMV.

Later, when I found out my brother had a copy of FF8 (my poor brother was so accommodating to his annoying little sister...haha), I was so excited to play, in large part because I thought it would continue the story of FF7. Young, naive me didn’t understand the numbering conventions of Final Fantasy titles. I was madly theorizing and breaking my brain trying to find connections between the two games’ plots and had literally played through more than half the game before I finally realized the storyline of FF8 had absolutely nothing to do with FF7. I was sorely disappointed, and I think that has somewhat tainted my appreciation of future titles. Not to say I haven’t enjoyed the subsequent FF titles, but I think a little part of me is always comparing them to that first experience of wonder and awe that I had with FF7.

I discovered fanfiction in my teens and starting writing FF7/Cloti fics in college. Aside from interacting with a few fic writers at the time, I was not involved in any online communities, so I kept myself pretty free of any ship war drama and the like. When I did research for my fics, I’d sometimes see shipping sites and theories where I didn’t always understand the logic of how certain conclusions were reached, but frankly, I didn’t much care and didn’t realize that Clerith vs. Cloti was such a touchy subject. I was peripherally aware that some sort great LTD war was waging, of course, but it didn’t really touch me. I stayed in my Cloti shipping/fic-writing lane and was probably a lot happier for it. And, to be honest, based on FFN’s listings for FF7, I felt like I always saw a bunch of Sephiroth/Cloud fics and thought that was just as popular as the more conventional ships.

Graduating college and entering “real life” pretty much ended my FF7 fanfic-writing journey. In the intervening years between college and the release of FF7R, I haven’t gone back to the OG too much. I’ve played almost all the Final Fantasy games since then, and I always enjoy getting my FF7 crew fix when I play the non-canon mobile games or the Kingdom Hearts franchise. But FF7 was a happy part of my teenage years, and I was content to think on it with sweet nostalgia.

Remakes, in recent experience (*cough cough* Disney, why?), have been hit or miss, with a lot of misses. It’s hard to strike a good balance between catering to nostalgia and delivering a fresh product, never mind the change in social mores through the decades. I was so afraid FF7R would screw up my memories, especially since I wasn’t the biggest fan of Advent Children. The graphics were great and the action scenes were fun, but the story felt like a let-down. Cloud, in particular, felt so different (and yes, moody) from where we left him after the OG. I understand now that a lot of his character motivation was better explained in the On The Way to a Smile novels, but back then, I just felt like AC came out of nowhere. 

Btw, because I see this question a lot on other blogs when I’m lurking, I’ve ALWAYS thought that it was very clear in AC--even without reading anything else--that the reason for Cloud’s depression was due to guilt and not because he was pining for Aerith. The only reason I didn’t like his characterization in AC was because it felt like it came out of nowhere since AC is set 2 years after OG and by the end of the OG, he seemed to be in a pretty decent place mentally and emotionally. That being said, I can absolutely understand why some traumas resurface years after the originating incident and how times of peace might actually be worse because he is no longer solely focused on saving the world, but I was just surprised and a little bummed that this was the direction the devs chose to take AC at the time. Now that I’m older, I do better appreciate the complexities of Cloud’s mental state and the fact that they depicted a hero with lingering mental health issues is actually pretty awesome. I’m drawn to characters that have flaws--sometimes serious ones--but try their best anyway. Hence, why why Tifa Lockhart and Kate Beckett are some of my all-time favorites.

Anyhow, that didn’t stop me from pre-ordering FF7R, of course. I avoided reading any reviews as I didn’t want my first impressions to be swayed, and boy, was I happy that I went in mostly blind. That sense of awe really almost felt like playing the OG for the first time again, but somehow more. The combat system is incredibly fun and the world-building is nothing short of incredible. The variety and abundance of NPCs gives the game so much flavor and the locations have been rendered so well. As I’m going through areas like the Sector 7 train station and Wall Market and Aerith’s house, I can almost superimpose the layout from the OG in my head, but now it’s in 3D and so rich and full. It’s obvious that a lot of attention was paid to details, and I love all the head-nods and homages to the OG.

And oh, the characters!

This is the Cloud I’ve been wanting to see in glorious HD and the Cloud I remember from the original game: all awkward, dorky trying to be cool, socially inept, mentally unstable, abrasive-at-times, reluctant to act depending on who’s asking, wannabe hard-ass who’s actually a big softie inside Cloud. I remember reading an article a few years back about how the devs basically redid Cloud for the Remake because they wanted him to go back to his dorky roots--which ends up making him closest to his personality in the OG than his appearances in other franchises--and I was SOOOO incredibly happy to hear that. I was so sick of the way Cloud was constantly depicted as this cool, broody McBrood in his cameos when he was a pretty big dork in the OG. (Anybody remember him doing squats in the Highwind when Tifa says it’ll be lonely with just the two of them and Cloud responds that he’ll make enough noise to make up for it? Like I said: cute, but a dork.)

I WAS surprised by how comfortable and sweet and touchy (so very very touchy) the devs made him with Tifa from the beginning. That initial scene of Cloud being such a smooth operator giving Tifa the flower had my jaw-dropping and every single flirty interaction after that (and there are many) had my Cloti heart overflowing in shock and bliss. Throughout most of my years as a Cloti shipper, even though I believed Cloti was supported by canon and pretty clearly together, I was also under the impression--mistakenly or not--that Cloti was the minority ship. So for Square Enix to make it so blatantly obvious that Cloud is really into Tifa at such an early stage has been an unexpected gift.

Also, they’re just really hot together. (Clotiscrew tunnel--be still my heart!)

As for Tifa...oh, what wonderful character development we’ve already gotten for Tifa. Tifa has always been one of my all-time favorite characters ever since reading her character blurb in the OG game manual. Initially, as a child, it was because I saw so much of myself in her. She was outwardly bright and optimistic, but tended to hide all of her stronger feelings inside. She fought with her fists, and for someone who was a tomboy growing up who liked playing contact sports with the boys, I connected with her in a way that I had never been able to connect with other female protagonists who were primarily back-row specialists. (I also aspired to grow to her listed height of 5′4″, which alas, did not happen...lol).

I love how the Remake delves into more of Tifa’s moral conflict between the destruction that she causes as part of Avalanche and needing to do something to stop Shinra, and yes, even seeking revenge. They touched on this in the OG lightly, but the Remake really hammers it home. She’s perhaps the most conflicted character in terms of motivation in Part 1. That scene with the Shinra manager on the train is actually one of my favorite scenes of her because it highlights that tension. The elevator scene, if you opted for it instead of the stairs (or if you did one, saved, and reloaded to do the other one, like me), is also underrated in terms of how much it reveals about Tifa’s inner struggle.

On this point, I also appreciate that the Remake has the characters reflecting on the damage they’ve both indirectly and directly inflicted--the Avalanche team all do this to a certain degree. In particular, Jessie’s constant inability to figure out what she’d done wrong with the bomb to cause such a massive explosion and her remaining feelings of guilt during her death scene (”they were my victims” ouch!) were heart-breaking.

Aerith’s depiction was another pleasant surprise. I’ll be honest; I didn’t much like her in the OG. She was too pushy and willfully oblivious to the point of being mean at times. In the Remake, much of her sometimes too in-your-face playfulness was kept--perhaps still a little too much--but I appreciate the nuance that they gave her. The train graveyard scene tells the player that she didn’t have friends growing up, and I think that partially contributes to her lack of social tact at times. The other factor that gives her personality more nuance is the hint of special knowledge that affects how she interacts with the rest of the group. It gives her additional hidden motivation and adds to her mystery for new players while simultaneously pulling at the heartstrings for old players who get the impression that Aerith is somehow aware--to a certain, unknown extent--of her own fate. 

I also appreciate that Aerith is more grounded as a real person than as some sort of revered being. I do blame AC for some of that. When you have the power to cure a fatal disease from the afterlife and send the dead back to life, it gets into some godlike territory. Maybe it’s a fair depiction of her powers as a Cetra, but I just get the feeling that Aerith herself wouldn’t really appreciate being made into this goddess-like figure. Remember that her character blurb in the original game manual implied that she was more interested in earthly things (i.e. the love triangle) than in exploring her own powers. I personally think that Aerith used the “love triangle” in the OG as a form of escapism from the weight of her burdens rather than genuine interest, and I just think she’d want to be thought of as a person rather than as a god. One of my favorite scenes for Aerith is when she and Cloud are traversing the rooftops and she slips on the ladder, letting out a simple, “Shit.” It humanizes her in a way that combats some of the ways she’s sort of been deified in the last 23 years. Also, Aerith wielding a folding chair like it’s WWE never fails to make me laugh. Overall, she just comes off as a more reasonably flawed and--as a result, to me--a more likeable character in the Remake, and I do very much like her now.

Barret is pretty much the exact larger than life character I imagined in my head, only somehow even better, and I really love how expressive and emotional his eyes and facial expressions are. His scenes with Marlene are truly the cutest thing ever. Red XIII is a big, furry ball of sass, and I need so much more of him in the coming parts (Cosmo Canyon still wrecks me to this day). The interactions between the Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie are incredible, and they really feel like people who’ve been friends and basically each other’s family for years. The Turks and Rufus are pretty much as cool as I imagined them in the OG.

There’s still so much more I haven’t even started touching on about the Remake, and I think that’s why I’m finally posting this now. I just can’t contain my love for this game any more, and I really really need a place to express myself. I don’t know if anybody is still reading, but I appreciate having the opportunity to finally gush about this game and franchise that I’ve loved so much for pretty much two-thirds of my life.

[artikgato]

2018 Retrospective part 3

It’s that time of year again, where I look back on this crazy garbage fire of a year and see if I can do better next year. (I should point out that 2018 was marginally better than 2017, but then again 2017 didn’t exactly set a high bar)

This year I’m going to keep a count of the number of posts that are gone due to being flagged as “explicit” by the tumblr algorithm.

“Naughty Posts Sent to Tumblr Jail” Count: 10

Conventions So Far: 7

May:

I went to three conventions in May. Three. That seems like a lot, but just wait for July, friends, just wait for July...

Digimon Tri movie 6 came out and I was...let’s just say, not impressed.

The first con I went to was Zenkaicon, a little con up in Pennsylvania. It was my first time to Pennsylvania, so that was cool. The con was a fairly ordinary small con, not much to do, not much to see

The second convention was ACEN (Anime Central), my second visit to Chicago. This convention was definitely a lot of fun, met a lot of interesting folks of a lot of different fandoms! 

And finally, the third con of May was Animazement, for my fourteenth (!) year in a row. I ran the Fire Emblem and Persona shoots, and spent most of the rest of the weekend working as staff or catching up with the ten thousand people at that con that know me (because I’ve been going for fourteen years)

Persona 3/5 Dancing were released in Japan the same weekend as Animazement

Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee were announced!

The designs from the beta version of Pokemon Gold and Silver were released (leaked?) leading to a ton of fanart and speculation

June:

I didn’t go to ANY conventions in June AT ALL (I also kind of starved? For most of the month? Just so I could pay my car taxes?? Capitalism is stupid and America is bullshit)

I launched my Patreon. Crazy to think I’ve been running it for six whole months now!

I guess I got a year older or something

The P4 discord got set up, too (also crazy: that’s been a thing for six months)

My precious daughter Nino finally got an alt in Fire Emblem Heroes (I still haven’t rolled her ;A;)

Persona 3/5 Dancing were FINALLY confirmed to be coming out in the West! ....eventually. Some time.

I added a new chapter to Practice Makes Perfect and made all this noise about updating once a month and...uh....haven’t....... (I’msosorry)

E3 happened and utterly destroyed me, specifically the “everyone is here” trailer for Smash Bros and the fact that they added Leaf as an alternate costume for the Pokemon Trainer 

I went to visit Roomie up in Banner Elk, NC where she was working for the summer theatre, and stayed overnight. Not only was I in the same house I lived in when I worked at Banner Elk four years earlier, I ended up in the same room, same bed and -- this was absolutely 100% unplanned and I didn’t realize until the next day -- I did this on the exact day I first played Persona 4, three years later.

I made my Souyo Itabag! It was so much more organized back then, lol

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<-- Previous (Prologue) / Next -->

TW: Brief mention of r*pe

Chapter One

Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa's heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.

"Yes, princess, you can go ahead," he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.

The discs cracked under Rosa's heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she'd done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.

She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case's edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.

"Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick," she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. "This is what you get for trying to rape me."

Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.

As usual, they'd both guaranteed they'd exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.

They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They'd listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he'd witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.

They'd all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.

So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.

Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They'd hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.

"Hi," Rosa said, grinning. "We're from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn't get one, so we come bearing a gift."

They both lifted the console and cords. "It's a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it."

The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. "Holy shit. Thank you."

After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. "You feeling better?"

"Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick." Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. "What can we destroy now?"

"How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis," Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. "Careful, though. We don't need you slashing your hand open."

⧫

Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.

"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.

He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"

Mason knew his middle name. He just liked hearing Austin say it in his neat little accent.

And wanted to freak him out a little.

Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"

Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."

Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.

Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.

masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me

Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.

"Seriously, what are you doing?"

"Joining a Nosam forum, obviously," Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.

Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website's title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason's post. "Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I'm almost certain you'd actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?"

Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. "Because I would, Ozzie," he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. "Because I would."

Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.

He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn't exactly the most popular website, so... Oh, their name was Elias... That was Austin's middle name. Maybe he'd finally have another Austin stan.

And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.

familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)

Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"

He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.

masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?

Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.

familyjules: i'm too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i'm still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker

Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.

"What the hell?"

Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."

Austin sputtered, confused.

masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.

also: is ur profile pic u?

Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn't had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.

familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me

Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.

masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure

Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.

familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)

Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn't even defend his own good looks.

masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?

Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.

familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i've been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?

Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.

masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.

Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.

masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?

Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He'd made the website. It was his rule. And he'd broken it.

familyjules: whoops. yeah. i'll tag u in a thread

familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?

masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.

familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i've got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off

Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.

masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1

familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i'm gonna look great

masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?

familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow

masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro

Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn't say he was a girl.

familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here

masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.

a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.

Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.

Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"

Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."

Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."

Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.

masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.

familyjules: oh hell yeah that's me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i'm not as good at those yet. are u into them too?

masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.

fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!

familyjules: whoa, dude, i'd never. if anything i'd strip for austin. if stella wouldn't kill me

masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.

Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.

familyjules: can't even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he's the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you're his hand then? shouldn't you have his hand as your pfp?

Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn't even notice.

masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!

familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)

Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn't matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he'd stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn't even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn't ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn't even a good font.

Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules' mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.

It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.

familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it's way too easy to roast mason

Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.

masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore

familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren't actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick

masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all

gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart

familyjules: damn dude. at least you're honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who's right👀

masonfucker1000: average dick.

fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee

familyjules: be mason hill?

familyjules: kidding! i'll send you some

masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself

They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.

♦️

It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.

familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you've only got two things on your profile and it's been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you'd let mason have his way with you? i'm curious ;)

During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.

masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough

Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn't want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.

familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don't even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c'mon, dude

Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?

masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?

familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we'd take over the world, displace nosam

masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆

displace nosam? ur blocked

masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then

familyjules: hey, you're the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck

masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on

Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?

masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3

masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me

Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.

familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated

"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.

Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."

Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."

Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.

Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.

He deleted the file he sent.

masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.

and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?

Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. "Oh, come on," he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?

familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀

familyjules: oh also i'm a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night

masonfucker1000: i did not!

oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?

familyjules: you'd be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor

masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?

familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i'd like but it's something

masonfucker1000: 🤑

masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?

familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling

familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely

masonfucker1000: uh huh

masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better

familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him

Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"

Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"

"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."

Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."

"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."

Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.

masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want

familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?

Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.

masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?

masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day

Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.

Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.

familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?

Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.

masonfucker1000: what! no no

Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.

masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry

masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel

familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?

Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.

masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)

familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)

familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading

masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!

[blackhatcannons]

Casual Black Hatcannons

The people have decided. The list is long (so it’s under the read more.) Happy 324 <3

Prior to arriving on Earth, Black Hat didn’t need sleep. He can still go much longer than a normal human without rest, but his mood can become fouler and fouler without the occasional break from having to do so much stuff/be around other annoying people

He’s able to have dreams (even though they’re often weird and narcissistic), and will sometimes spend time sleeping just to see if his subconscious can generate any ideas for new inventions to sell

Honestly as long as he gets some time to just sit down and not have to do anything (or even keep up his normal physical form) he’s basically asleep. For eldritch abominations like himself, it basically means letting his consciousness wander freely as he shuts down any physical functions. His form tends to get a little... less human-ish looser, when this happens

Black Hat doesn’t brush his teeth. (or floss.) First of all, his body is self-cleansing, so he normally doesn’t have to worry about showering and hygiene in general. Particles of dirt and blood and other toxins are normally absorbed through his clothes and skin, and then broken down inside his body.

Not to mention he has semi-acidic saliva. It’s not extremely corrosive, but it works well enough to keep his mouth clean between meals.

That being said, he’s lost teeth before. Chipped them, broken them, misplaced them– It’s fine though. he has teeth like a shark. literally, there are so many of them holy shit. They grow in rows and the new ones can replace the old ones very quickly.

When he transitioned from existing in a multidimensional plane to a less-multidimensional one, he never really realized that human bodies and clothes were two separate things. When he first designed his physical shape, he made his suit out of, well, the same material as himself. The clothes are just as sentient and sensory as the rest of him, and if someone touched his coat he’d turn around and be like “what.” It’s like having really snazzy looking skin that doesn’t have to be fully attached to your body and can also start growing eyes and teeth whenever you’re mad.

He never really got a full course in human anatomy, but it’s close enough, he thinks..? it’s just missing like all the organs. and a soul.

As a consequence of not knowing what the fuck a human is, BH also doesn’t know what the fuck gender is. He just sees humans, and humans are fucking morons so honestly who cares what they call themselves. it’s just easier to go with whatever pronouns they say than actually try to guess their genders (congrats BH on not being transphobic)

The old flash shorts (pilot version) of Black Hat was actually BH’s first attempt at making a human form. He later reshaped himself to “be more edgy”: becoming taller, narrowing his face, changing the design on his hat, etc.

After a hard day’s work, Black Hat can sometimes be so lazy that he wears his coat (and hat) to bed. Won’t even take off his shoes. Nasty. (Ofc he has his edgy villain pajamas he could change into but, eh. too much time.)

He can still take his clothes off, but they’ll eventually dissipate if separated from him long enough. It’s easier for him to just change the appearance of whatever his clothes (skin) currently looks like. He can still feel sensations through them, but it becomes harder to categorize them as “good” or “bad” the further away from his nerves they get

BH used to eat food like an amoeba. (He normally eats as a way to regain mass if he’s injured or needs to shapeshift.) But when encountering “prey”, his physical form kind of turns to a fleshy goop of teeth and eyes and blades that encircle whatever food it is; then he reforms. He only stopped eating like that bc it wasn’t classy enough. Utensils and etiquette are crucial for fancy villains- only dinner parties

BH likes to stay unnaturally light though. more mass makes him slow and he doesn’t like it when people are faster than him. He can also rapidly change the density of the particles in his body, mostly for fighting. It’s hilarious to see a hero break their hand trying to punch you.

BH’s body temperature depends on the environment he’s in. In the summer, he absorbs light really easily and is therefore around 90 (it’s the closest he can naturally get to human-temperatured without purposely changing it), while in the winter, he can be 30 or 45 degrees. Normally he will be 70 degrees (around room-temp), which still means his body is unnaturally cool. He can modify that as well though, and can decide if he wants to basically be a walking black ice cube or the temperature of hell’s oven. BH can’t feel temperature though, so it doesn’t really matter to him.

Those claws on his hands are a fucking pain. He can’t use a smartphone bc he doesn’t have fingerprints and his skin can’t conduct electricity. So he uses a fucking Nokia flip phone or a Blackberry, anything with buttons he can actually press

then again he sucks at technology in general, he knows more about gramophones than iPhones. Flug has been teaching him, but it’s a ...work in progress….. (”FLUG I BROKE IT AGAIN.” “Boss you shouldn’t play Flappy Bird if you have claws that can pierce through phones....”)

His hands are kind of like cat paws, the claws will normally slip out if he’s angry (99% of the time) or if he’s actually relaxed enough to just let them go (1%– you may now picture BH kneading a blanket and accidentally fucking eviscerating it)

His toes are just like his fingers, but he can’t afford to let them slip out. Otherwise he’ll pierce through his shoes and then it’s a pain to get them unstuck; he hates it.

(He let Dementia paint his nails ONCE (it was her birthday) and still hasn’t taken it off tbh. Ofc he can never tell her that.)

Once he caught Flug watching “How It’s Made” and he was about to go on one of his angry lectures again. but then he got distracted bc “wait, THAT’S HOW THEY MAKE FILIGREE GLASS?”

BH actually sits down next to Flug on the couch and they just silently watch it together. “How… how the hell do they get that all the same diameter?” “It’s really incredible, boss.” “They just, change the shape like that?? What the fuck???”

BH doesn’t speak of it again. Flug forgets about it until he walks into his office to deliver a report and hears something about “now they set the haggis out on cooking trays, and pierce each casing so–”

Black Hat thROWS HIS COMPUTER OUT THE WINDOW. TRYING TO ACT CHILL.

“Boss were you watching–” “AH YES FLUG HELLO WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU.” “Boss, it’s okay. I mean, the haggis episode is disgusting, but i really don’t care. here’s the report... Should I buy a new computer?” “……..yes.”

when he’s not watching How It’s Made he watches cheesy telenovelas WHAT

Don’t you dare fucking tell me these guys dont all watch telenovelas together on the couch with a fuckload of snacks as they all eagerly await the next moment BH loses his shit

“JUAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOW COULD YOU BETRAY MARIA LIKE THAT?!?! That man is the most evil character i’ve ever seen, take notes 5.0.5″ “Boss... you’re crying” “WHAT NO I’M NOT HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK”

BH’s favorite genre of music is classical (you know. like a nerd.) Apart from that, he’s also tried listening to screamo and death metal. While he enjoys screaming in general, he’s not really a fan of the genre, but he can appreciate the effort

in his spare time he probably sips at a glass of wine and reads his fucking quarterly profit reports in a comfy chair by the extremely scary-looking fireplace haha. He likes the sound of thunderstorms as well, mostly bc of the villain aesthetic he’s gotta keep.

Speaking of the villain aesthetic, he used to have a cat. A nice, fluffy white one that he could have sit on his lap while he sat in his desk chair facing the window, just so he could do the thing where he turns around like the most cliche villain ever

unfortunately, he can’t keep that act up for more than a week. by then the cat really looks like it’s living up to the name “Appetizer” and, well. you can tell what happens next. (5.0.5 cries, that’s what. BH coughs up white fur later.)

BH’s room is, like the entire house, very edgy. he has a massive 4-poster canopy bed, various sculptures and paintings of himself, and an enormous walk-in closet. Why does he have a closet if his clothes are part of his body, you ask?

The only reason his room looks so clean is because he hides all his personal belongings in the closet. Confiscated materials? Closet. Assorted skeletons? Closet. His secret collection of scented candles? Closet.

The girl scout cookie hoard goes under his bed. there’s also always a pentagram or two on the floor, some with notes saying “5.0.5 DO NOT ERASE”

One of the huge marble busts of himself has a keypad hidden under the hat, with a code needed to open his vault. but that’s only one half of the key; he also needs to perform a small ritual in his demonic circle to fully unlock the vault and disable the alarms on it. then he can enter the secret room where he stores all his money

(Sometimes he’ll just go inside it and roll around in his piles of cash for fun. it’s very therapeutic)

all those pictures of himself BH either had commissioned or gotten as gifts. I’d say he painted the all himself, but he’s not patient enough to actually spend time getting better at art. instead he just hires artists to make his vain af portraits.

He can also see through any reproduction of himself, including sculptures, shitty post-it note drawings, and yes, fan art. (So don’t call your fanart bad, or else BH will be offended you called him ugly!! he doesn’t care what it looks like, he’s vain enough to accept any art of himself no matter what it is haha)

Once Flug got him a metal paperweight as a gift. Jokingly, he told BH it was a stress ball.

BH fucking crushes it in one hand

(“Huh, some stress ball.” “B-boss that was made out of tungsten!!” “So? You said it was a stress ball!” “That’s stronger than steel!….Boss are you okay”)

Black Hat actually suffers some pretty bad migraines. he’s not supposed to exist in such a “low-res” plane of reality. Most of his kind exist in at least five dimensions, and it’s kind of hard to have made the switch over without losing some of his power. Shunting your consciousness between planes is kind of painful, and BH frequently receives physical reminders that he really should not have done that.

The migraines are painful and make BH crabby for the rest of the day; "dimension sickness" is awful for his mood. Flug has been trying to work on a cure to help him, but it's hard when the only materials you can work with are eldritch blood, flesh samples, and any liquid void goop BH coughs up.

Black Hat actually would work with a hero, only if it was to stop a villain that was a greater danger to his company. He’ll go against his Villainous principles to keep his business secure from any outside threat. Anyone targeting his corporation and friends employees is an enemy, and enemies will be destroyed.

BH has no idea how to: change lightbulbs, replace smoke detector batteries, use a microwave, or clean literally anything. (In that sense, 5.0.5 is more competent than him.)

Surprisingly, Black Hat actually files tax reports for his company. He believes that despite being a governmental institution, the IRS is "the most evil organization to ever exist" and appreciates how much pain it inflicts upon people each year.

Black Hat is a master of paperwork and legal documents. He could have probably been more successful as a lawyer than an arms dealer tbh. Suing people copying his patents is actually a breeze for him, and he doesn't pull any fucking punches when it comes to penalties for reselling his property

This also explains why he hasn’t been arrested yet. Can’t prove that his corporation isn’t just a hat factory when all the evidence, tax reports, and products lean towards that conclusion

BH can't cook for shit. That doesn't mean he can't enjoy human food though (even if he doesn't need it). Some of his favorite meals are humans, raw meat, rare steak (only when 5.0.5 cooks), black caviar, black truffles, black food in general, live mammals, that one cake Flug bakes sometimes, any red wine that actually tastes good, souls, foie gras, expensive food, candy (when taken from babies), ice cream (when taken from 5.0.5), and anything that really fits his dark aesthetic.

Black Hat doesn't really have a birthday. But that doesn't stop Dementia, 5.0.5, and Flug from celebrating. They use BH’s “entering the human world” anniversary as his birthday, and celebrate despite all BH's protests to not  (he secretly enjoys it, the vain bastard.

Flug normally works on an invention for him in his free time, little things that he thinks BH would find useful in his daily life. Like filing cabinets with auto-organizational systems, a voicemail system that can better filter out his calls, ballpoint pens that can write in blood. Stuff like that

Dementia makes coupon books. Things like "one free 'go away'” or “Shut up and be quiet for five minutes” or “stop destroying things for an hour.” BH always runs out of these within the month.

5.0.5 gets him cute things like mugs that say "world's best boss" and ties with nice patterns on them. BH throws a hissy fit about them, but it doesn’t stop him from wearing them

And finally, at the end of the day, even though his life is full of chaos and disasters, BH really doesn’t regret leaving his original plane of reality for this one. It’s weird and painful and he’s surrounded by annoying people, but he’d do it all again if he had to......... foR THE MONEY, OF COURSE. YEAH. BECAUSE HE’S A VILLAIN. GOTTA SELL THOSE DEVICES AND ELIMINATE HEROES RIGHT. YUP. THAT’S IT, THAT’S WHY HE STICKS AROUND WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S BC OF HIS FRI-- EMPLOYEES, WHAT? fucking wild

[hansolvrnonchwe]

My Diamond Edge Experience

, alright im just gonna list off everything that happened

so we got there at like 3 

and the concert didnt start until 7

so we were waiting for quite awhile

there were a lot of people selling merch but i didnt want to spend too much money because i wanted to buy official merch

which they didnt sell btw just a warning

i was pissed

but anyway, everyone was super sweet

and there were so many people wearing rose quartz and serenity 

i was wearing black lmao

but people were handing out free bracelets and stuff

and this girl saw that i was wearing my vernon shirt and she gave me vernons 17 Carat black ver. postcard and a Going Seventeen photocard and then she took a selfie w me and my friend

she was just so sweet 

whoever you are, i love you.

and i ended up getting some pretty vernon fanart, a seungcheol photocard, and a Hoshi fan pack (which I did pay $10 for)

i ended up meeting the producer from Form of Therapy which is a v good Youtube channel

my voice cracked so much tho lmao

and he filmed me for a youtube video and i was sO AWKWARD I WANT TO DIE OH MY GOD

i will actually be surprised if he uses the footage

anyway, after several hours we finally got into the venue

i actually saw god when that air conditioner hit me

we went to our seats after realizing there wasnt gonna be merch

and while we were waiting for it to start they were playing the mvs for Very Nice, Check In, Healing, Adore U, Love Letter, Mansae, BoomBoom, and Pretty U all on a loop

and the crowd was so hyped during the MVs alone man

and it finally hot 7:00 and suddenly they played Love Letter again

but it was out of order 

so we knew something was going on

and the after Love Letter they played Dont Wanna Cry and everyone freaked the fuck out because it was the first time they played it

and so we all stood up and after the music video the lights went out

and i swear to i god i was so shooketh

seventeen came out on stage after a dramatic opening and began Pretty U

and it was so loud

i couldnt even hear myself speak

and i tried to wave my lightstick but it had no batteries because im dumb

and they performed a few more songs before pausing to introduce themselves

hoshi was so cute oh my god

he kept yelling “HOSHI’S BACK”

throughout the entire concert 

it was sssoooooo cute

joshua and vernon obviously spoke in english the whole time but the rest of the members spoke in korean and had a translator which was rlly cool

they taught us a fanchant where they would yell “SEVENTEEN CARAT”

and we would clap twice and put our hands to the side and say “EDGE”

it was great

performance unit performed OMG, Highlight, and Swimming fool

and nobody knew the rlly fast highlight fan chant but me and this one girl

and we made eye contact 2 rows apart whilst screaming seventeens names at the top of our lungs

it was magical

hip hop unit performed If I, Check In, and Vol. 14 from the mixtape

ive said it many times but seungcheol had me so shook

he went fucking IN during Check In

like

damn b

vocal unit performed Habits, a spooky version of Dont Listen in Secret, and We Gonna Make it Shine

Dont Listen in Secret is one of my all time favorite songs 

and the spooky version made it so much better

its so underrated

they all performed great bops

like Crazy in Love and Chuck and stuff

and then they stopped to talk again and they were like “yo we’re gonna leave after this song but we love you”

AND I WAS DEVASTATED 

because the main songs they hadn’t performed were Don’t Wanna Cry and Healing

and I knew they were gonna perform Don’t Wanna Cry 

but i was looking forward to healing so much because its my favorite

so anyway

they performed Don’t Wanna Cry

and then left stage

and a video of them all talking about what Carats mean to them started playing w smile flower playing the the bg

everyone was crying

mingyu was like “you guys are my oxygen”

and it was hella cheesy but i cried anyway

and then the video ended 

anD THEY CAME BACK ON STAGE AND WE WERE SHOOK

AND THEY WERE LIKE “IT’S NOT REALLY OVER BITCHES”

and they performed Shining Diamond 

i swear to god ive never screamed “I know I’m only seventeen I only got a few dollars” so loud

and then they performed Healing and i was emo bc its my favorite

and seungcheol got on dino’s back and i was living

and then they all did speeches and stuff

and it was so cute i was hella emo

“HOSHI’S BACK”

hoshi did aegyo

we all wanted to die but oh my god i saw hoshi doing aegyo live

so the concert ended fr

and they left stage

and us hi touch people stayed in our seats while everyone left

it took like 30-45 minutes for hi touch to actually start 

but it was probably so seventeen could rest

when it finally started the line moved quick

security were a bunch of assholes

we were ushered through there, man

Joshua was the first in line and he asked me how i was and we all know how soft and pretty his voice is but oh my god let me just say his voice is so soft and pRETTY I WAS SPEAKING TO AN ANGEL

seungcheols hair was wet and when i touched his hand i squeeled and he gave me a look of concern

my friend was in front of me and she said “layla calm down” in front of vernon

and vernon looked so confused

but then he got to me and he was like “ah yes, that makes sense”

it was so embarrasing i hate myself

at the very end minghao was thanking everyone and i got to hold his hand and tell him i love him and asdfghjkl hes so perfect

i blanked out for most of the hi touch and i dont remember most of it because of how shitty security was

they were yelling and pushing us through so fast

uughhhh i wish i couldve filmed

overall i did enjoy it a lot

it just wasnt super memorable because of how fast we were going

like i literally dont remember interacting with most of the members 

im really mad 

but anyway as soon as we got out there was a girl on the floor sobbing

which i wouldve done too if i wasn’t so disappointed with my hi touch tbh

but afterwards this girl went up to my friend and was like “did you do the hi touch?”

and my friend was like “yeah”

and the girl was like “cAN I TOUCH YOUR HAND?”

and my friend was like “yeah”

and the girl screamed

and it sounds really weird but i promise it was adorable

and from there the night ended and ive never wanted to die more because of post concert depression

a summary: mmt sucks, carats are the sweetest fandom ever, HOSHI’S BACK, seventeen will literally fuck you up live, its def worth it, my love for hansol was reinforced, seungcheol needs to chill, and hi touch was enjoyable but it also sucked and now i wanna die

[killiansbutt]

Thank you for Existing. Send this to 10 people, who, in your opinion, deserve such a sweet message in their inboxes ~( ◡‿◡ ♡)~

Thank you, Jess! I’m so happy to have met you, not only because you help me think about Natsu a lot more in-depth than I already do, but also because you’re genuinely sweet and fun! Someday I’ll also learn to spell your url instead of putting Chickachuu! Because I have to do this 3 times and I think the limit is 10 in a row for asks, I’m gonna tag ten people for this message instead. Crap, I’m running out of people and it’s only the first post! 

@jmosfreckles​ : Sierra, you’re fucking hilarious and our snapchat record was legendary. We’re gonna do it again and beat even our old record somehow! 

@natsusluce​ : Sara-chan! I’m so happy that I met you in the cs butt squad, which then migrated to the alistair butt squad, then to the nalu chat (hitherto referred to as the nalu butt chat in my heart), because it brought me to a whole world of other people. Not only that, but you’re one of my closest friends and I’m so happy to know you, my ouat-buddy, my dragon age-buddy, my Fairy Tail partner. You’re the warden to my Alistair~ 

@raijindork​ : We have opposite timezones and differing views on characters/pairings for the most part, but you’re one of my favorite people to talk to at night (which seems to be when we catch each other the most). I also applaud you for introducing me to Bixlu, which is basically my guilty pleasure ship for Lucy. Thanks, April! ♥

@zeraheart​ : Katy!! How do I find the words?? We don’t talk nearly as much as we should (which is weird because I think we talk a fair bit) but I adore you. You’re funny af who doesn’t hesitate to offer a kind word to people when they need it, you handle drama with grace and try your best to avoid it, and you make cute af art. You’re like a package deal, it’s impressive. I’m glad you joined the nalu chat so I could know you as more than just the person with cute fanart~ 

@papalogia​ : Eien, we don’t ship the same in the Bleach fandom and you actually kinda hate one of my favorite characters, but I honestly don’t care too much (Well, I do, but not enough to bother because to each their own, you know?) about it because you’re awesome and we ship similar/the same in FT so who cares! You introduced me to SaM and Natan and how do you thank someone for that?? Also, you know how long it took me to realize your title wasn’t some obscure latin message? Ages! 

@nalu-4tw : Oh Maria, thanks for being my friend! I love your art and I love your fics! I haven’t known you long, but I’m excited to talk with you more!

@snogfairy : writing senpai! you need to write! the writing doctor says so! ♥ I’ve never talked about James Bond much until I met you, it’s almost funny to think about it, but I also wouldn’t have started working on my fantasy au if you hadn’t prodded me about it. I’m so glad that I met you -- even though I don’t even know when??? or how??? It just happened??

@oldfriend7876 : I’ll never forget the cupcake thing that introduced me to you. In my defense, I was befuddled about your tags about how dark a drawing was and it turned out to just be a picture of a cupcake. When I checked later, it wasn’t anymore. I was positive I was hallucinating till you explained so thanks for making sure I wasn’t crazy! I’m bummed that I missed out on being your Cana, figures I would meet a buddy and not even live near there anymore! Thanks for being my friend and also listening to me barrage you with questions sometimes when I’m confused! 

@gsut : We also have differing opinions about some characters, but that’s okay, because you’re always sweet about tagging anything (and I don’t think you bring it up anyway without someone asking) and you’re so enthusiastic about everything else. I always appreciate seeing messages from you, you’re so kind! :D 

@siriusly-random : Mary! My sims buddy! My fic writing buddy! You make me want to watch the 100 even though I’m also terrified of stepping foot into that mess. I actually don’t care much for gray/lu or grats/u/lu but whenever you talk about it, I get a little more affection for it! Not to say I’ll ever like it, but I love your happiness for it! I didn’t come up with any puns for you, sorry, but maybe next Canada day I will! 

[nosamlight]

chapter one

Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa’s heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.

“Yes, princess, you can go ahead,” he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.

The discs cracked under Rosa’s heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she’d done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.

She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case’s edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.

“Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick,” she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. “This is what you get for trying to rape me.”

Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.

As usual, they’d both guaranteed they’d exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.

They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They’d listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he’d witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.

They’d all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.

So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.

Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They’d hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.

“Hi,” Rosa said, grinning. “We’re from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn’t get one, so we come bearing a gift.”

They both lifted the console and cords. “It’s a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it.”

The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. “Holy shit. Thank you.”

After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. “You feeling better?”

“Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick.” Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. “What can we destroy now?”

“How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis,” Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. “Careful, though. We don’t need you slashing your hand open.”

Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.

"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.

He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"

Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"

Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."

Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.

Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.

masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me

Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.

“Seriously, what are you doing?”

“Joining a Nosam forum, obviously,” Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.

Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website’s title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason’s post. “Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I’m almost certain you’d actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?”

Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. “Because I would, Ozzie,” he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. “Because I would.”  

Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.

He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn’t exactly the most popular website, so… Oh, their name was Elias… That was Austin’s middle name. Maybe he’d finally have another Austin stan.

And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.

familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)

Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"

He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.

masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?

Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.

familyjules: i’m too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i’m still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker

Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.

"What the hell?"

Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."

Austin sputtered, confused.

masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.

also: is ur profile pic u?

Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn’t had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.

familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me

Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.

masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure

Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.

familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)

Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn’t even defend his own good looks.

masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?

Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.

familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i’ve been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?

Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.

masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.

Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.

masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?

Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He’d made the website. It was his rule. And he’d broken it.

familyjules: whoops. yeah. i’ll tag u in a thread

familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?

masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.

familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i’ve got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off

Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.

masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1

familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i’m gonna look great

masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?

familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow

masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro

Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn’t say he was a girl.

familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here

masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.

a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.

Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.

Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"

Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."

Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."

Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.

masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.

familyjules: oh hell yeah that’s me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i’m not as good at those yet. are u into them too?

masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.

fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!

familyjules: whoa, dude, i’d never. if anything i’d strip for austin. if stella wouldn’t kill me

masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.

Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.

familyjules: can’t even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he’s the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you’re his hand then? shouldn’t you have his hand as your pfp?

Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn’t even notice.

masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!

familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)

Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn’t matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he’d stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn’t even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn’t ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn’t even a good font.

Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules’ mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.

It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.

familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it’s way too easy to roast mason

Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.

masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore

familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren’t actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick

masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all

gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart

familyjules: damn dude. at least you’re honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who’s right👀

masonfucker1000: average dick.

fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee

familyjules: be mason hill?

familyjules: kidding! i’ll send you some

masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself

They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.

♦️

It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.

familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you’ve only got two things on your profile and it’s been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you’d let mason have his way with you? i’m curious ;)

During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.

masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough

Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn’t want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.

familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don’t even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c’mon, dude

Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?

masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?

familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we’d take over the world, displace nosam

masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆

displace nosam? ur blocked

masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then

familyjules: hey, you’re the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck

masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on

Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?

masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3

masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me

Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.

familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated

"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.

Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."

Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."

Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.

Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.

He deleted the file he sent.

masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.

and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?

Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. “Oh, come on,” he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?

familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀

familyjules: oh also i’m a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night

masonfucker1000: i did not!

oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?

familyjules: you’d be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor

masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?

familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i’d like but it’s something

masonfucker1000: 🤑

masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?

familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling

familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely

masonfucker1000: uh huh

masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better

familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him

Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"

Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"

"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."

Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."

"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."

Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.

masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want

familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?

Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.

masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?

masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day

Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.

Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.

familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?

Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.

masonfucker1000: what! no no

Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.

masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry

masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel

familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?

Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.

masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)

familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)

familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading

masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!

prologue | chapter two (coming soon!)

[cyberstabbing]

Sci-fi/Dystopian future/Danger Days/idk

Heaven’s Not About Your Reputation - Desolation Row AU. The Tipper Laws have consumed the nation; more and more freedoms are being restricted every day. After getting thrown in jail for causing a riot with their illegal punk show, My Chem decides to do the logical thing: cause even more trouble. 28k

In Repair - "Shit,“ Frank mutters, and shoves both hands through his hair. He looks around the kitchen like he’s gonna find what he should do scratched into the old linoleum, then looks back at the bot. He gnaws on his lip. Fuck it. He already knows what he’s gonna do. He’s just gotta do it.

Getting down on his knees, he braces a hand on the edge of the crate and leans over the bot. It’s dressed in a plain white tee and matching drawstring pants like an escaped mental patient. Frank rolls his neck and cracks his knuckles, shaking the ache out of them before carefully laying his palm against its cheek. He’s pretty sure his voice is steady when he says, "Activate.”

Nothing happens. Fucking shitty packaging�� the thing’s busted. But Frank keeps his hand where it is, jumping a little when he feels the surge of energy beneath it. The robot’s skin goes from room temperature to lukewarm, then warm. Frank watches it open its eyes, the light behind them adjusting until they’re a pale sort of brown. It looks at him and asks, “Am I dead?” 33k

sing it for the n00bs - Gerard would be killing twice as many dracs right now if his fucking spacebar would quit sticking. (Gamer AU, wherein the Danger Days universe is an MMORPG.) 17k

I was rereading this on a bus in France with my stepsister. She asked me what I was reading and I just squirmed around in my seat. So she shouted “FANFICTION??” And I was like … Well, I mean, yes–but hear me out!! And so I told her about Danger Days, the Killjoys and the whole gamer au concept.

She actually thought it sounded pretty cool. Or maybe she just wanted me to quit gushing about it and leave her alone.

The point is, if someone who just heard a second-rate description of this fic still thought it sounded interesting, that means it’s HELLA RAD. And it is. So. Read it.

The Way They Fly - Frank is a robot. He is in love with his genius creator, Gerard, who doesn’t realize that Frank is capable of real feelings. Frank starts breaking down, getting ill, and Gerard doesn’t know what to do to fix it - all his methods are completely useless, none of the programming explains why this is happening to his Frank - but it’s because Frank has a broken heart. 17k

Of Another Kind - Gerard is an alien on a mission–to find a human mate on Earth. He’s decided on Frank Iero, but his database doesn’t give him all the facts he needs to win over his future companion, and there are just some things he will have to learn on his own. 17k

Let The Darkness Lead You Home - Vampires are in charge and most of the humans on earth are prey, so Frank Iero’s parents have him train as a cyber tech to protect him. Leaving the family he’s born into may have saved his life, but his parents never could have expected the lengths he’d go to in order to find a new family to call home. 49k

The Chasing of Moons - The biggest dilemma in all of this is that Frank slept with his future husband. Now Frank’s just got to make sure that the future with him stays intact, but it’s not so easy when present day Gerard seems to hate his guts. 110k

Might I Have a Bit of Earth - Gerard took things. He didn’t used to take things; he used to ask before, say please and may I and other things his parents taught him, because that was what you did. You didn’t just take. 14k

Space pirates :D !!

Are You Broken? (from the Robot!Gerard series) - Frank gets sick and Gerard doesn’t understand. <1k (the series is 7k)

Lovely Way to Burn - Frank is no stranger to sickness. He’s been wheezing his way in and out of hospitals since he was a kid, but things are different now. He was already pulled from two assignments due to illness, and the third time is the charm. Three strikes and you’re out. 4k

video girl - This is a space AU that has more random worldbuilding than actual porn in it. In which Frank wanders into a virtual sex video booth. 1k

Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k

(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)

James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k

(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)

yoooo i just found some really really REALLY good fanart. .. unbelievably good. and six years after the fic came out! that’s amazing!! anyway, here it is.

EDIT #2: found some more! Man, that fic just keeps giving.

EDIT #3: Damn it, the artist’s blog (second one) is marked as having “sensitive content”, so I couldn’t view it anymore on this account. So here is the post reblogged on a sfw blog for y’all youngins, and here is a screenshot juuust in case the sfw blog deactivates and that link stops working, too. 

The Science of Sleep - It’s 2011 and Frank Iero’s life is pretty average until the night where he starts getting dreams about a strange, apocalyptic California where there’s rayguns, grey corporations and terrorists who use art and color as a weapon. Interesting and fun at first, but the more he dreams about this world, the more he starts to wonder if it really is a dream… and the deeper he gets into this futuristic world, the more it seems to affect his life in the present day.

And just how exactly does everything all seem to link in with that douchebag black-haired artist who sits in Starbucks every day?

(Set in the Danger Days world but not necessarily following the cannon established by the album and music video’s.) 93k

Killjoys Never Die - No description. 2k

i want to die i want to die i want to die

Up Against Your Will (HERE is the chapter index) - Stepping into a world so different from their own, Frank and Gerard struggle to survive. 18 chapters

this was amazing, but also hard to read in some parts, bc of the non con and gore :/ not my cup of tea, but I did love the word building and the fic overall.

Fogs, Sheets and Thunder - Not as grey as it seems. A post-apocalyptic postal service AU. 5k

And ze art!

​The World Famous Extraterrestial Diner - Sure the menu had a picture of literally everything in it, causing the menu itself to be ten pages in total, but that was for the foreign visitors. And not just the ones from other countries, according to the owners.Gerard worked at a diner located directly on the famous ‘extraterrestrial highway’. The pictures were more for if any actual aliens ever came by Earth for a good meal and couldn’t speak English. They had the pictures to see exactly what was on offer. Even the beverages had their own separate pictures.Not that they had had any extraterrestial visitors since, like, ever. 8k

Born to Motorbabies - Here's the thing with having a crush on a mysterious DJ; it's kind of an inconvenient place to hang your affections. 12k

The person who’s rec list i snagged this from (can’t remember who, sorry!) added “​affectionately referred to as the dishwasher fic” which is v cute so I’m putting it here too.

...the weapon - Tattoos are one of the ways they measure out the time between getting ghosted. Inspired by Art is... 0.2k

Code Red - In the fall out of a fire fight, Party Poison goes looking for medicine, and finds pretty much the exact opposite of that. 2k Ship: Party Poison/Korse

Workplace Appropriate Attire - Korse is a creepy boyfriend. 1k

Ship: Party Poison/Korse

This was fun to read, but some lines made me go OH SHIT, because ...... well if you read this you will know what I’m talking about.

We Got Machines - There are questions on the lips of everyone with eyes or money on the arena. Who is this kid? Where’d he come from? Who trained him? BLind’s got no records on him, meaning he’s a Zonebrat returning to the grasp of the city of his own volition. Another anomaly. That a 16 year old nobody could waltz in out of nowhere and turn the system on its head is... concerning to BLind. <1k

Part 1 of KJ/Griefers 'verse (3.5k in total)

Ship: Deadmau5/G3rard

xoxoxoxo - Party Poison wakes up somewhere he's never been - but there's plenty that's familiar here. 1k

Ship: Party Poison/Korse

Looking for Satellites - Galaxy-hopping alien trader Gerard has business on space station Perseus Four. Getting to know station administrator Grant is a nice bonus. 25k Ship: Gerard/Grant Gerard is a sexy, telepathic and open minded (heh) alien and it’s great.

the only hope for me - Korse has never been one to show his emotions. 1k Ship: Korse/Party Poison

your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same - a battery city ambush goes somewhat wrong. korsepoison. 0.8k Ship: Korse/Party Poison

Methane Skies - Run, run, bunny, run. 3k

Hot damn this is some creepy and suspenseful stuff. Ship: (implied) Korse/Party Poison

mutilate, maim and destroy (just a tad) - For clarification, this fic is about Gerard Way the actual person being tortured by Korse in the Killjoys universe. Like. Hnng, you'll see nevermind. Ship: Gerard/Korse

A Room Full Of Suicides - His jaw was clenched and his whole body quivering. He looked right at Korse with those huge, transparent eyes. “Do what you want to me. I don’t give a shit, Korse.” He drew in a breath that shook. “You wouldn’t understand. It’s about standing up for what you believe in.” God, the kid was adorable. Korse couldn’t wait to make him scream. 4k Ship: Korse/Party Poison, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (implied)

Of All the Places in the Universe - Gerard, an alien with a severe case of anomie and wanderlust, crash-lands in Jersey while traveling the galaxy. A chance meeting with a creature his studies had told him didn't exist leads to a surprising turn of events. With time, Gerard comes to call Earth home, and finds love with the adorable punk who found him--Frank, an energetic puppy of a werewolf who's really more bark than bite. 30k

"You know The Smiths?"

Gerard grinned. "Oh, yes! They're one of my favorite Earth bands."

Thank You For The - Just an alien in New Jersey, looking for a mate. 0.5k Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

"Have fun," Gerard said, even though he'd just told Mikey he couldn't have fun because he needed to be careful. Mikey wished his venom sacs were fully developed. He would spit on Gerard's shoes.

Double Exposure - “The worst part was the confession. Well, the explanation sucked too.” Written for prompt 38. Frank/Mikey - Frank and Mikey bodyswap during tour and have to play shows as each other. 2.5k

Frank isn’t part italian in this fic. He’s part alien! :D Ship: Frank/Mikey