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atinydise · 5 years

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Ateez saying something hurtful to their s/o (2/2)

❦ Genre: Angst.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: Around 2k.

❦ Masterlist.

Part 1

SAN

San and you were dating for 6 months. You were really close. Sharing the same braincell sometimes. As a couple, you got your good and hard times. Especially when San was jealous. You knew how to comfort him but this time, you didn’t want to.

It was summer, it means the time of parties. Ateez were invited to Oneus Summer Party. San invited you, you were his girlfriend. He knew you could have a good time, dancing, singing. As a party you wanted to look pretty for your man. So, you choose a black skinny dress and white sneakers. It was 9 pm when you hear a knock at your door. You took your jacket and opened the door. “Hi babe.” Said San. He couldn’t leave his eyes from you. But didn’t said anything, except “ready to go?” “Yes! You look gorgeous San-ie!” he nodded and went back to the car were all the members were waiting for you. When you entered the car, all their eyes were on you. “Oh, wow Y/N! You are so pretty!” Yelled Wooyoung. “Thank you!” You giggled. The rest of the road was funny, all the boys were excited. But you noticed that San was a bit distant. Maybe there was something in his mind. You’ll asked when both of you would be alone. The car stopped and the boys rushed to the big house in front of you. Oneus was not joking with this party. You saw San walking in front of you with Wooyoung and Xion. You bowed to the host and thanked him for the invitation. You heard the music being louder, everyone was shouting. Ravn with a mic in his hand, “THE PARTY CAN BEGIN!!” You joined Ateez on the dancefloor. They managed to attire all the attention because of their amazing moves. You watched your boyfriend, he was killing it. He was really enjoying dancing and singing. This career was made for him. After few minutes of dance, you find a way out of the crowd. It was hot and intense. Water was needed. You went to the bar, asking “Hi can I get a virgin Mojito?” “Yes of course, pretty lady.” Complimented you the bartender. You blushed lightly. One thought crossed your mind. Everyone said that you were pretty, but your boyfriend didn’t. Maybe he didn’t like the dress. You started to over-think when the bartender gave you your glass. “Here’s your virgin-Mojito, beautiful.” “Thank you.” You started to walk out of the bar when he said, “Can I get your number at least? I don’t want to miss the opportunity to talk with you again.” Before you have enough time to say no, you heard San voice. “Sorry but she’s taken.” Putting his hand on your waist. The other guy said sorry and went back to his work. Your boyfriend was leading you to a quiet corner. “Ouch, San! You are hurting me.” His grips on your waist was strong. He was definitively pissed. “Can you stop being so flirty with everyone?” He whispered to you. You could barely hear him because of the loud music, but his words were loud and hurtful into your heart. “What? I was just taking my cocktail, I- don’t-.” “I know how you are when you are flirting with someone!” Moving closer to your face. “No, you don’t! I wasn’t flirting with this guy!” He scoffed, “And why did you choose this dress then? It’s so short! Everyone can look at you!” You sighed, San was jealous, once again. You know now why he didn’t say anything about your outfit since he came to your house. “I wanted to look pretty for you, San-ie…” you gripped his arms slowly for comfort him. But you didn’t expect him to push you lightly. “This dress is a problem! I can’t handle it. And why are you so flirty? Why are you so easy?” You looked at him, shocked. How dare he? You just wanted to slap him, but it won’t help to fix this situation. “Okay then bye.” That’s the only words you could say at the moment. You couldn’t believe your ears. San was always happy when you made yourself pretty for him. And to be honest, you wore few skirts shorter than this dress at your dates. Angrily, you exited the party and walked towards your house. Hopefully that wasn’t too far.

MINGI

Mingi and you were good friends, well before his debut in Ateez. You both know that you have feeling each other but kind of feel shy about it. You crossed the lines many times, exchanged kisses but doing like nothing happened 1 minute later. Since the Wonderland comeback, Mingi was feeling alone and depressed because of his back pain. You decided to take care of him. But he doesn’t see this like you.

You texted Mingi for prevent that you will be at Ateez dorm in 10 minutes with a lot of movies. You received a simple “ok” 1 minute later. You couldn’t stop thinking about your friend being alone day and night since Ateez was promoting Wonderland in Korea and overseas. He told you that everything was okay, but you know how he likes to be with his team and Atinys. When you knocked at the door dorm, you weren’t expecting him to open this fast. Was he waiting for you? “Hi Mingi!” you smiled at him. “Hi Y/N. It’s been a while.” As he stepped back to let you enter in the apartment. You giggled, “I’ve been here yesterday!”. “I know but it’s long here without you.” You pushed him softly, “such a playboy” you thought. “I took good movies for us tonight!” you almost yelled from excitement. You take out all the DVDs of your bag. “Jurassic Park, Narnia, Glass...” As he looks at the cover, “Good choices Y/N.” You smiled, proud of you. You went to the kitchen for prepare the popcorn, as always. You opened all the cupboard to find the pack but nothing. “Mingi where’s the popcorn?” as you entered back to the living-room seeing your friend busy with the TV. “On the top of the fridge, I’ll help you to get it.” He stood up from the couch, but you shouted at him. “No! Think of your back, I’ll get it!” He sighed, “I can do it, it’s not high.” You put yourself between Mingi and the fridge, “No! I’ll take a chair and do it by myself!” He massaged his temple. Pissed. But you didn’t care. He needed to rest. “You can go back to the TV, I’ll be here in 5 minutes!” He hummed and left the kitchen. You took a chair and reached the popcorn on the fridge. “Don’t dare to start before me Song Mingi!” you threatened your friend. He was mad. You know it. Mingi was never silent with you except when something bothers him. After few minutes, you went back to the living-room, sitting next to him. He was on his phone, scrolling on Twitter. He loved to see Atiny’s posts, with his fake account, even follow one of them sometimes. You played the movie. He chose Narnia. You were already at the scene were the kid meet the Icy Queen, when you saw that Mingi wasn’t paying any attention to the movie. Still on his phone. “Are Atinys saying interesting things? You are not leaving your phone.” As you grab few popcorns. He hummed again. You started to be annoyed. He can be mad of course, but you were just trying to help him. Like that he could go back to Ateez, fast as possible. You put back your concentration on the movie. 30 minutes later, you noticed that he was still on his phone. Playing candy crush. “Mingi if you wanted to be alone, you could just tell me before I came here.” You said frustrated. For the first time since the movie started, he paid attention to you. “I don’t know what you mean.” “You are not watching the movie.” As you pointed the phone on his hands. “Oh, now I can’t use my phone? I can’t help you to reach popcorn and now this?” You scoffed, “what the heck are you talking about? You’re really mad because-“. “I can do it by myself Y/N! Stop doing everything for me like I was an incapable!” he tossed at you. “You are always here telling me what I cannot do because of my damn back!” “Mingi… I-I” “You what Y/N? If you can’t at least make me relax then leave! I don’t need you here.” You heard enough. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it hurts you to hear that when you just want to be someone who brings him joy. You threw the blanket at him, packed back your stuff and exited the dorm.

WOOYOUNG

Wooyoung were your boyfriend for 4 years. You were close before Ateez debuted. You always here with him for every big step of his life. For example, when he auditioned for KQ Entertainment because Yeosang was going there too. When he met the members of Ateez for the first time. When they released their first album. Or when they got their first win. You were with him more than you two could think. Maybe that was a problem.

It was late, Ateez was filming the last scene of their new MV Wonderland. All the marching band was there. It was amazing. You couldn’t remove your eyes from your boyfriend, Wooyoung. He was doing is best. When the music stopped, you heard the director saying that they did a real good job. All the group went to the staff for fix their make-up and their hair for the photo shoot. “You were awesome guys! Atinys would love it for sure!” you said to them. “Thank you, Y/N!” smiled Hongjoong. “Wooyoung!” you almost ran to your boyfriend. “What?” That was cold. Maybe he was tired, it was 2 am. At least that’s what you hoped. “You were amazing!” “Thank you, Y/N.” he said and went to the staff without saying anything. Your eyes couldn’t leave him. What was happening. The distance that he put between him and you, isn’t normal. You tried again to talk to Wooyoung. “Wooyoung are you okay?” He sighed, “Yes Y/N, I’m fine. Don’t you have anything to do?” You looked at your boyfriend again “what do you mean? I came to cheer you and the guys, like-.” “I didn’t ask you to come this time.” He put his hands in his hair angrily, but it was so hot. “If you don’t want me there, then just tell me!” you shouted at him. You could feel all the stare on Wooyoung and you. You hated to argue with him in public. But his behavior was strange. “You are so distant tonight, what’s happening to you?” “I’m distant because you are so clingy! Can I breathe without you being around?” he yelled at you. For the first time in 4 years of relationship, he screamed at you. You just wanted to hide in a hole for the rest of your life. Sadly, he added, “You are always there, I can’t make a move without you being near!” He couldn’t add a word that you threw his coat on the floor, “Then bye, I won’t be around all of you anymore!”. You gripped the necklace that he gave you for your 2nd anniversary and threw it with his coat. He looked shook, but that’s what he deserved, you thought. You gave back the coat that one of a make-up staff gave you because of the cold, bowed to the team and went back to the street to find a taxi. For sure, it was the last time, you’ll saw Wooyoung in your life.

JONGHO

As the maknae, Jongho were reserved. Always listening to his hyungs. When you started to date, he was not really someone that you could call “lovely”. Or at least not when the group was there. Of course, he was enjoying time with you but not too far.

You were with all the members at the arcade game. They got a free day. Jongho asked you to come with them since you had a day off too. “Y/N! You are cheating!” Shouted San as you were playing basketball with him. “How I can cheat with this game, San? You are just a loser!” you giggled. San hates to lose. And it was worse when he loses against you. As you were waiting for your turn, you hugged the back of your boyfriend who were talking with Yunho. You sent him tense a bit. The fact he doesn’t like to be flirty near his hyungs was funny to you. They told him many times that they didn’t care but still. You heard San yelled that he ruined your score. You went back to him, decided to take your revenge. As always, you won. San would be pouty and go to Wooyoung. You loved how these guys were clingy to each other. Jongho came to you, few seconds later. You smiled at him, but you saw that he was mad. “Are you okay Jongho?” asked confused. “Can we talk few minutes?” he started, grabbing your wrist, “Alone”. It’s serious, you thought. The boys didn’t notice the situation. Jongho made his way to the little garden, still grabbing your wrist, a bit too strong for you. He doesn’t know how to contain his strength sometime. “What’s happening Jongho?” you asked worried. “Can you stop doing all your flirty things when my Hyungs are around?” You blinked. Flirty things? You couldn’t barely remember what you’ve done. “Are you talking about the back hug I gave you twenty minutes ago?” you sounded sarcastic. He scoffed, “Yes! That was awkward! In front of Yunho-hyung.” You crossed your arms on your chest, trying to calm down. “Jongho, you need to stop with these awkward things. It’s just hugs.” He sighed, “for you maybe.” “Yes, and we are not making out in front of them so stop!” He couldn’t believe his ears. “Why do you need to be so selfish? Always thinking about you?” Were you selfish? You just wanted to have a good time with your boyfriend and his team. You wanted to reply but he cut you off “I wish sometimes that I didn’t fell in love with you! Especially when you are like that!” Your eyes went wide. Did he really just say that? To you? “Then I will help to realize your wish. Bye Jongho.” You left him alone in the garden. Rushing inside to take your bag and your jacket. You didn’t answer to the boys when they called you and asked you what was happening. You just wanted to cry peacefully at home. Without being annoying to anyone.

Part 1

#ateez reactions #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez san #ateez jongho #ateez angst #ateez sad #ateez au #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez x you

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x-exo · 3 years

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*slides into your asks with a rose in my mouth* why hello, tis me!

Apologies for the long wait but your favorite long asks anon is here and OOF so much has happened. Let us break it down one by one lol

Monsta x our beans, welp we can officially say we are army wives for them because shownu is now at the military and just welp this feels weird lol. I lowkey forgot he was meant to enlist so when the news came out I went through so many emotions. Its why the latest comeback feels a bit bittersweet to me. It is their BEST for sure and for this year, I agree so to not see him perform right before he left is a bit sad. I don't blame him of course (if anyone does i am fish slapping you) but just a shame. I'm happy we do get content with him still? Seems pre-planned so that is nice!

Onto legends exo, fantastic comeback. I cannot stop listening to the album, its just bops full of bops to me. They broke so many records and I'm over here sipping my tea because fudge yes. It isn't a full member comeback, 2 of the members featured in the comeback are off playing call of duty and they still did THAT. While having lay properly in the comeback!? (Or at least some form, better than tempo era!) Kyungsoo my beloved, the man that can swoon you off your feet, his proper solo album. Omg I am just in love? The album feels like a Playlist that you hear while taking a walk or on a raodtrip? I love it, I just love everything about this with how much thought was given. It makes me feel warm and I'm so proud of him (I think he even got a first win) but sadly xiumin got the it shall not be named virus D: I feel so bad and I can only hope he gets better! It makes me worried because I keep seeing more and more idols getting sick and I can't help but wonder why don't the kpop entertainment just put a pause with stuff? Of course that is VERY unrealistic, I am aware that is naive for me to think but its just so idk how to word it properly (my English brain is not working I am sorry) I cannot help the feeling of while I get people are being safe and yes we need to still live like normal beings, is it worth risking idols health just for some entertainment? Idk how to explain my thoughts properly but maybe I hope I made sense!!

Onto svt! That is perfectly fine to not vibe with a comeback! I will admit, I didn't fully vibe with this comeback and it shocked me because every comeback was a hit to me. Even fear, left and right or homerun where I know many fans were split on, I liked but RTL was a grower. For me, listening to it without watching the mv, helped it alot and it is a song I like. Is it their best? No I don't think so but it is alright to say "hey I didn't bop to this, not my cup of tea" (imo I blame the mv? The mv REALLY didn't do the song justice at all, I am sorry if I sound like a fake fan but this mv Just is bad in all aspects. Sure we have some pretty shots but like it just doesn't fit at all?) So if anything listening to the song or wishing the live performances does it better. Seeing the choreography amps the song up more, cannot go wrong with their dancing. As for the rest of the songs, I admit game boy is my top favorite? Idk if it is because I am a gaming nerd and found all the production of the song so creative but yeah. We can wait for the next comeback! Svt always have something up their sleeves, plus we do have their music projects to look forward too (I wonder when we will get one? Seeing as RTL promotions stopped) some positive news with the boys is they resigned like a year before their contract ends and I'm a bit emotional :') I'm excited to see the boys future projects. We did have caratland recently! Did you watch it if I may ask? We did get in the soop confirmation so I'm excited to watch that, the boys deserve that nice break (even if it was filmed for a show fjsbsns)

Ok I think that is it for kpop updates? XD I do hope life has been treating you kindly! Life has been a bit all over the place sadly so I hope it wasn't like that for you as well! Until next time my bean!

hii!!!! omg sorry for the late reply i've been pretty busy these days 🙈

indeed so much has happened! and much more since you sent this ask omg!!

our shownu is at war *looks into the distance* *wipes away tear* *sighs* by now I got used to enlistment news (see what happens when you stan 2nd and 3rd gen groups) but STILL [[IT HURT]] when they uploaded the monchannel videos of his goodbye day like ????? what kind of twisted mind diuhdfuihdifuhs but the boys were all so cute and soft but they seemed so sad they didn't want to let go of their super leader :(( I hope he's learning lots and making new friends (and also we've got our international super spy yoo kihyun giving us small updates on him every now and then so everything's fine!). Yeah I totally get you it felt empty without him this comeback and at first it didn't really clicked with me but when the enlistment news came out i understood he had to take care of his health and thoroughly check on his eye sight in order to be 100% ready for the military so it made sense he had to be absent :( everything was so close (the comeback and enlistment) that I'm sure there was no other way for doing it I'm pretty sure he couldn't maybe postpone the enlistment day any further

onto exo! my ksoo my soft boi my romantic boi 🥺 his album is so him SO HIM i can't explain it bur it's just HIM you know it's the type of album you'd play on loop on a summer afternoon when you've taken your papers and paints outside in the garden to paint a bit with the warm soft breeze moving the trees lightly 🤧 and he signs in English and SPANISH (he did it for me) my multilingual king he's a native. Also I've been watching Honeymoon Tavern with Jongin these days and OMG i could d word for him really (if you haven's watched it go do it when you have time) he's SO SOFT and SO CUTE and he works as a waiter and a wedding planner and helps with the room preparations and is also a tour guide and he's just so cute so happy al the time the way he interacts with everyone is so 🥺🤧😭 onto more serious stuff now: yeah i was so worried about minseok catching covid omg but i'm glad he went through it with our any major complication and the rest of the boys are safe too! I guess the industry doesn't stop bc that would mean a huge loss of thousands and thousands of dollars/won/etc so as long as the gov doesn't prohibit going out or gathering like at the beginning of the pandemic, they'll keep on going with the idols' schedules otherwise the industry would just shut down having no way of earning money to sustain all the companies and idols.

as for seventeen! yeah i like the songs too! the mv sure ruined rtl and listening to it without watching it has really helped it grow on me more but still it feels kind of meh to me idk i really like anyone i think it's my favourite from the album. AND NOW WE'VE GOT A COMEBACK IN OCTOBER!!!! yayyyyy i can't wait they seem to be preparing very diligently (i hope they release a sexy bop) it's a shame junhao aren't gonna be present for this comeback but i'm soooooo happy they have the opportunity to visit their families again omg they have spent 2 whole years without seeing them in the flesh they must be so happy to get back to them again!!! it's so funny seeing them be bored at the quarantine hotel and doing lives every day duhdfiudhfiuh i hope it passes quickly and they can see their loved ones finally! and I did watch Caratland!! omg the unit switch song was the best thing ever hhu doing lilili yabbay and not being able to stop laughing idfuhdifuhs perf team doing chocolate and owning it????? hello??? performance team more like main vocal team wow! and the vocal team being a complete mess during check in lmaooo i loved it! In The Soop has finally started!!! I love these kind of "normal life" concepts I love seeing the boys being themselves cooking and relaxing I've watched the first and second eps as of today and also few clips from the third and omg mingyu and jeonghan drowning in the pond dfuhidfhidfs lmao they're so dumb i love them 🤣 i'm glad they could go away for a few days and spend time together away from their hectic schedules!

I hope you're well now and if not hang in there it'll all pass soon enough! 🥰💕 bye bye!!

p.s.: I got your request for the svt this or that gifset and i promise i’ll do it one day i just don’t feel like giffing these days dhbduusi i’m out of energy

#ask #my super nice lovely anon

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handsofdarkness · 4 years

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Sharon den Adel (Within Temptation): "Emotions are the most important ingredient in music"

A few days ago we interviewed the singer of Within Temptation – Sharon den Adel. We talked with the artist from the Netherlands about what her life in the lockdown reality looks like, about her band's publishing plans and hopes for the coming months. Enjoy your reading!

The interview, which took place on January 14, 2021 was conducted by Mateusz M. Godoń via Skype.

MATEUSZ: Hi Sharon! First of all, how are you doing? How is your life during the current lockdown?

SHARON: I'm fine, thank you. Yeah, of course it's not the ideal situation, but, you know, we have to cope like everyone else. And that's just what it is.

MATEUSZ: So what do you do when you have to spend most of your time at home? Have you discovered any new passions recently or are you just developing some older ones?

SHARON: I'm mostly developing the older ones. But we've redone the whole house, for instance. So that's one of the things that I never thought I would enjoy that much. But if you are at home that much, it's nice to have something to do. So we’ve been redecorating, painting rooms and stuff like that just to keep busy, but obviously, we also devoted a lot of time to music.

MATEUSZ: Quite recently you guys have released your new single called "The Purge". Can you tell us a bit about this song? What is this piece about?

SHARON: Well, it's all about looking back on life and dealing with situations and decisions made in the past and living on – and because of dealing with it, you can live better. You know, sometimes you really need to look certain things in the eye to cope with it again and not take the burden along with you throughout the years – and it will be easier in life if you do it. And that's something that we had a lot of time for, I think, when we were in a lockdown to overthink life. Everybody's in a roller coaster, the whole year long and every year, so when there's a lockdown like this, you get a chance to re-evaluate your life itself and also directions and decisions made, of course. And that's, I think, why "The Purge" came together.

MATEUSZ: This is the second song after "Entertain You", which you are releasing as a part of series of singles. Why did you choose this form of sharing new material this time instead of waiting for a whole new album to be ready?

SHARON: Well, the first reason was to have some new songs while being on tour again, of course, when we are doing this co-headline tour with Evanescence. We felt like we've just been on tour, so it's nice to have on the new tour some new songs to surprise everybody that we don't just play the same - or more or less the same – setlist again, but we have some new songs added to it as well, which is always nice, I guess. And then of course, a lockdown came and we felt like: OK, you know what, we're just going to continue doing this and we're not going to release an album, because we don't know how long it's going to take before we get out of the lockdown again. And we need something to look forward to. And it's also an experiment in a way, and started with the fact that we wanted to present some new songs on tour. But, yeah, now it became a bigger experiment than we thought – it was going to be a longer one anyway [laughter]. But it's nice, because now we're right in the moment and that's good also, I think.

MATEUSZ: But after all, do you plan to release an album with all the singles you are now releasing in digital form? Fans still like to have all their favorite bands' songs on physical media, and I'm sure they'd love to have another release to add to their collections!

SHARON: Yeah, well, we are planning that still. It is still the plan to release eventually an album, but it will take us some time to get together and also record everything, of course. But we have enough time. Getting together is a bit of a problem – but we can do a lot already and we'll see how far we get. And you know, there's a lot of touring ahead of us when we are able to go on tour again. So that needs to come first, but of course, there will be an album eventually. But we're still going to keep on releasing some new songs here and there as long as this takes.

MATEUSZ: Not so long ago, you have created your own label. Why did you decide to do that? Does it have anything to do with trying to release songs in a different way than before?

SHARON: Yes, you know, we artists have different goals than record companies sometimes. And for us, this was very important to do it this way to try this out. And then you have to be, well, you know, on the same page with your record company, of course. And when it didn't happen, we decided to do it on our own.

MATEUSZ: Right! Not so long ago, because just two years ago, you have released your last longplay, "Resist", and it came out five years after the previous album. What it took you so long to release a follow-up to "Hydra"?

SHARON: Well, it was because of the fact that I had a little bit of writer's block. Little was a big one – and it was not just me, but I think the whole band was in a small identity crisis, I guess. In a way, it was a little like a lockdown for the band at that time. In a way, it was a little like a lockdown for the band at that time. You know, life can always be one big rollercoaster for everyone in this world – and sometimes, at a certain age, or maybe because of some problems (like in my case, because my dad got really ill), you can just have enough. I got into a vibe like I wanted to look back on life and started realizing: do I still want to do this? So I was a little bit in an emotional crisis in a way. And also together with this writer's block, I think, which was, of course, glued together, it was one big problem. Of course, it was all connected to each other. And it wasn't just me – I think a lot of them were like: OK, we've been doing this for so many years in our adult life, what else do we want to do? In the band, I'm one of the writers – not the only one, of course – but everyone was struggling to find a new direction, a new goal, a new challenge, I guess. And so I decided in the meantime that, just for therapy, I was going to write a few songs and it didn't have to be for Within Temptation. And it really opened the doorway of writing new stuff that I normally would never write and would come out of me. And so it helped me get rid of the blockage, this writer's block that I had. And I wrote a different album in the meantime. So that also took a lot of time. And releasing it was for me, a personal project that I needed to do for myself. It was called My Indigo. And yeah, and it helped us back on track with this, not just me, but I think everybody, because I also got some help from the other members. Everybody was, of course, in the same kind of ship and we were a little bit shipwrecked [laughter]. So it was, yeah, time for some cooling down and some distance, I guess. And that’s why it took us five years to come back with "Resist".

MATEUSZ: I'm glad to hear that the crisis is over or it's getting better at least. You've already mentioned this sideproject of yours, My Indigo. Do you plan to continue it and release more albums under this brand name?

SHARON: I'm only working for Within Temptation at the moment, but I hope to write someday again for My Indigo when I feel the need for it. It should be a project that is spontaneous and should come to me when I am ready for it, I guess. And at this moment, I don't have the inspiration for My Indigo. I hope I'll get it again – but it's also not always a good sign [laughter]. When I'm working for Within Temptation, I'm not working for My Indigo – and vice versa. I think I need both, probably, but at this moment I'm more in the vibe for Within Temptation.

MATEUSZ: Great! So, as you've already mentioned, last year you were planning to go on a big tour with Evanescence, but the pandemic thwarted your plans and the tour had to be postponed to fall 2021. Hopefully this tour will take place and there would be no more problems – but how do you envision the post-pandemic touring?

SHARON: I think people will be more fired up to hear music live! Fired up because of the fact that they're finally out of their houses, you know, everybody is out there and wants to be together again. And I think that it will bring a crazy kind of fire that will bring it to the next level. You know, people are really going to appreciate being outdoors again, not just for us, of course, not just our own shows, but every show that's going to happen after this lockdown. I think it is going to be crazy and so much fun. So I'm really looking forward to that. I'm really hoping that will happen soon.

MATEUSZ: Yeah, I understand you totally – I'm also looking forward to the return of concerts, because I'm a photographer during the shows here in Poland and I miss it so much!

SHARON: I can imagine! [laughter]

MATEUSZ: So do you do you miss playing live yourself?

SHARON: Yes, of course, I miss this interaction. I miss the people. I miss the crew. I miss the band, obviously! I miss everybody. The whole picture isn't complete without one or the other. So we need everyone and every single person that was involved in the past and hopefully will get on board again with this new tour, because there's also some problems ahead, I guess! Also because of the fact that you don't know if everybody is going to survive this lockdown – meaning like truck companies, the catering that we used to have... We know every each and every person almost who travels with us. You know, it's one big family – and that goes for every person who supports our team, like truck and bus drivers who travel with us from one city to another and to any country. And so you need everybody on board to be able to get this picture back in place again. And I really hope most people who'd worked for us, are still able to work for us when we start again, because everybody will start up at the same time more or less and there will be a lot of work. But you have your favorite team, of course, and they work for several people. So it’s just wondering, like, can we get the dream team together again? Hopefully they will choose us.

MATEUSZ: Yeah, sure! Let's hope that everybody would be available when this nightmare ends and there would be no more problems. So you are planning to perform in Poland again during the Worlds Collide tour. You have played here many times before. Which of those visits do you consider the most important? Do you have any special memories from here?

SHARON: Well, I love the city Cracow, because I think that's one of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to! So I like the Polish fans because they have a drive for music like no other, I guess, especially not in up north in Europe. You're very passionate people! And that's something that I love, because we feel the same passion for music when we are on stage. And it's easy to get in contact with Polish audience because they are so enthusiastic, so outgoing in their passion. And I really admire that because, you know, not every country has that. Not every people express themselves that easily. And that's really beautiful!

MATEUSZ: Thanks, that's very nice what you say! I've heard that you and your parents traveled to a lot of countries when you were a child. What did these experiences give you? Which of the places you have visited do you like to come back the most?

SHARON: Well, as a child I lived in Surinam, which and I think that's one of the most beautiful countries I've ever been to, and also in Indonesia. I've lived in so many countries, but also I've traveled to a lot of countries. But still, I like the people very much in Surinam. They were very relaxed, very sweet. They were very easy going to get to know and very loving people. So I'm hoping to come back to that country one day again. But there are so many beautiful countries as so many beautiful place on Earth. I've been to Australia, I've been to Africa. But I think it's the people you meet in a place that make you find it beautiful. And I met a lot of beautiful people in Surinam.

MATEUSZ: What you say made me want to go there one day!

SHARON: Yeah, it's a really beautiful country, with such a nice jungle and the people are just really lovely! You should definitely go there someday!

MATEUSZ: OK, I hope I will be able to! Speaking of memories of your youth – you started your career in the fashion industry. What made you finally decide to switch to music?

SHARON: Well, you know, music was always my biggest passion, and you guys from Poland know about passion, so that's always leading. So in fact, fashion was a second plan, more like I needed a job – I needed to get bread on the table, like they say here in Holland. So you need to have your priorities first. And music was always a hobby to us, because at the time that we started there wasn't a big legacy of bands that were world famous. There weren't bands that could live from their music. And so we felt like: OK, you know, let's be realistic – the kind of music that we make, you know, how many people will like it? [laughter] That's what they told us also from the start! Our parents were like: OK, come on, guys, you know, be realistic, you're never going to make it in music. And not only your parents, but everyone around us was saying: OK, what do you do in your life? You make music? Yeah, OK, but what's your job? And they did make us think. And so everybody has their degrees. Robert did a study for education, for human resource management, I had this fashion management. We also had some whiz-kid in our band, a guitar player, who was developing websites and stuff like that. So everybody had their jobs besides the band. And all of a sudden we broke through and then everything changed – we had a huge hit with "Ice Queen" in the Netherlands and Belgium, we felt like: OK, why not go for it for just for a certain time and enjoy this? Because might never come back, and this is our passion – so let's leave the job and go for it! [laughter] And so we did, and we never had to go back to the job again, luckily for us. But, you know, since then, the music industry in the Netherlands has been getting bigger and bigger also not just because of us, of course, but there was so many different kind of styles developing at the same time, like the dance scene was huge in the Netherlands, and it still is quite big. And so, you know, it's something we never thought would happen. Also, besides us, there are so many other bands who started touring and believing in the fact that might be a chance to do this for a living, you know, to have your passion as a daily thing.

MATEUSZ: All right, thanks for such a long, nice story! So as a songwriter, as a stage artist, where do you get your inspirations from? Do you have any favorite other acts whose work has influenced what kind of artist you are?

SHARON: Oh, many! You know, as a small girl, I lived in Indonesia and one day I went to a drive-in show with my parents, where I first saw the movie "Grease". And afterwards I wanted to have the record with the songs from that movie, because I fell in love with the vocals of this lady who could sing so well, whose name was Olivia Newton-John! I just wanted to sing those songs from "Grease" – and I did, for many years, on a daily basis! [laughter] I know every song from front to back and back to front. I was Olivia's fan for a long time, and also from her music I got into country music. My parents were playing a lot of Eagles and, you know... I'm sorry I forgot the question when I started to talk! This is a very big story. What was the original question? [laughter]

MATEUSZ: Where do you get your inspirations from?

SHARON: Which people inspired me, yeah! So, as I already said, I started with Olivia Newton-John, and then when I grew older, I got into Tori Amos. But I also liked Mariah Carey, for instance, very much because she was for me "the Steve Vai amongst vocalists". It may not be the type of music you would expect from me – and it is certainly not my favorite – but Mariah was the most technical singer I've ever heard in my life. And I think that for many singers, a great way to practice your vocal cords is to sing her songs. I have never taken singing lessons myself – but practicing on my own, I was always trying to get that really idiotic high notes from Mariah Carey and try to replicate it. And I drove my parents crazy, but she was one of my inspirations, more on the technical side. And I also love Janis Joplin. During the concerts, she was all over the floor and she was crying on stage. She was so emotional. She was giving all her passion to the audience, and that was so beautiful! I was inspired by her – and I was inspired by Kurt Cobain, who did the same thing, but with a heavier music. And that was my first encounter with really heavy music – because, of course, I knew Alice Cooper, but he was more pop or pop-rock to my opinion. So Nirvana was my ultimate favorite band. So different artists inspired me in different ways, but especially how they expressed themselves on stage and made me aware of the fact that emotion is maybe the most important ingredient in music. So that way, yeah, I was really inspired by all these artists in a different way, I guess.

MATEUSZ: It's not good to ask about plans right now, because we can plan anything and the pandemic would always destroy our schedules. So what can I wish you for this new year that have just recently started?

SHARON: Well, the tour will go on at least and hopefully also the festivals. But, you know, that's quite close in the year, and I'm not sure everybody will be vaccinated or there will be a plan for that yet, but I hope that at least some festivals will happen and the tour will happen in September, but it's quite far away. I just want to believe that it will be real to come back on stage, and I wish that to every band because everyone is waiting to somehow get back to normal life. And it's you know, it's for some people even more important because it's the only thing they have. So for me, the best wish is that we can be playing life again, not just for us, but for everyone, just as that would be such a beautiful gift for 2021.

MATEUSZ: Yeah. Let's hope that it would happen! So is there anything that you would like to say to your Polish fans at the end of this interview?

SHARON: Well, I really hope they will hold onto that passion of theirs and I hope that we'll see each other sooner or later. Hang in there and stay tough! And, yeah, we'll make that bonfire together when we get there!

MATEUSZ: Thanks! Thank you very much, Sharon, for this conversation. It was quite an honor to me to speak with you today. And as you've already said, I hope to meet you on tour this year in Poland to gather with all the fans and to celebrate the return of normal life.

SHARON: Yes, totally! Let's do that. Let's hold on to that picture, that's very important!

#Sharon den Adel #within temptation #2021 interviews

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 4 years

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LATIMES: For St. Vincent, life under COVID has meant recording a soul-baring podcast and binging on Stalin

Annie Clark, who performs as St. Vincent, in her home studio: “I divide my life into albums.” [Leah Lehrer]

By RANDALL ROBERTS

STAFF WRITER

AUG. 26, 2020 2:15 PM

During a recent conversation, Annie Clark, the Grammy-winning musician who performs as St. Vincent, confessed that she had, quite literally, nothing else scheduled for the day. She had awakened, she explained, knowing that her only obligation would occur at precisely 2 p.m.

“The crazy thing is, because there’s nothing to divide a day, having anything on the calendar to do feels almost overwhelming,” she said. “Like, what am I going to do now that I have this one 20-minute thing that must happen at this specific time? It’s very strange. It’ll be interesting to go back, in some way, to all the spinning plates.”

On Monday, Clark’s new audio project, “St. Vincent: Words + Music,” premieres on Audible, the online audiobook and podcast platform. A 90-minute first-person deep dive into her life and music, the program is interspersed with revelatory new versions of some of St. Vincent’s most popular songs. She offers a fresh rendition of 2007’s “Marry Me,” for example, that highlights dizzying string arrangements absent from the original version.

For St. Vincent obsessives, these versions are essential listens, as are her recollections on her early years as part of the Texas music collective the Polyphonic Spree and her decision to embark on a solo career under a pseudonym. For passing fans, Clark’s conversational way of speaking about the evolution of her work across six studio albums (including “Love This Giant,” her 2012 collaboration with David Byrne) provides a glimpse into her creative methods. An artist whose work has evolved from guitar-driven indie rock to increasingly experimental work filled with electronics and vocal effects, St. Vincent’s music has at this point transcended genre.

The project is part of Audible’s “Words + Music” series, which includes “Patti Smith at the Minetta Lane,” James Taylor’s “Break Shot,” Common’s “Bluebird Memories: A Journey Through Lyrics & Life” and Rufus Wainwright’s “Road Trip Elegies: Montreal to New York.”

Clark, 37, recently spoke to The Times from her home in Los Angeles.

“I have this theory,” says St. Vincent, “that people who are creative for a living were really dumbstruck, creatively, by the pandemic.” [Leah Lehrer]

How much podcast and audiobook listening do you typically do?

I’m obsessed with podcasts and audiobooks. I probably listen to more audiobooks than I do music. I mean, I certainly listen to music — for enjoyment, for research, for just making sure I know what is happening. Luckily, maybe because I’m a musician, I can retain a lot of information that comes through on the auditory side. I mean, I’ve really been brushing up on my Stalin.

You’ve brushed up on your Stalin?

It makes me feel much better about where we are today. Because they had it bad.

It’s pretty bad now.

It’s really bad now. But it was worse. I’ll go ahead and say it was worse in Stalin’s Russia. So there we are. That makes me feel bright and sunny. I’ve been on a real saucy Gulag Stalin kick for the past many months. Cold war, espionage — all of it.

You want to recommend any specific podcasts or books?

Oh God, we shouldn’t be talking about Stalin. This is already a disaster. I haven’t done this in a minute, you know what I mean? I don’t have my talking points all figured out.

I hope this isn’t a disaster.

No, but if we lead with Stalin, it’s not going to go well for me. Let’s talk about this Audible thing, because it was a lovely experience. It was fun to take old songs and reinvent them. There’s a version of “Digital Witness” on this that’s really funky and I love it. I’m glad they gave me a reason to look at my back catalog and reinvent some old songs.

Did you enjoy the process of recalling where you were in your life during various points?

I did. I divide my life into albums, instead of the other markers of time that most people have. I can go, “Oh, I was in the middle of this tour, and this is what was going on in my life and this is what I was writing about as a result.” That part of it was kind of an archaeological dig.

You reveal a few experiences in the program about your family and private life. I didn’t know, for example, about your father’s white-collar crimes, which landed him in prison in the early ’00s. Did you have any hesitation about engaging with parts of your life that aren’t related to your music?

I would have a long time ago, and I certainly did while it was all going on. I’ve always wanted people to enjoy and take in my music for what the music was. I don’t want it to be like a piece of art on the wall that needs an explanation in order to enjoy it. I want it to be enjoyed and interpreted on its own merit. I don’t think that it makes art more valid because it came from really horrible circumstances. I don’t necessarily want to mythologize something that’s actually quite normal. Things happen. And the crazy thing is to expect otherwise.

I think that in the past I felt way more protective of my family and my privacy because he was still in there. But since then, he’s been released, and we have a great relationship. It’s been a wonderful story of reconciliation, change, forgiveness, all those things. That’s why I feel fine about throwing it out there, because frankly, it had the happiest possible ending.

Another story you share is about being groped during a performance while you were stage-diving, and reacting by hitting the fan with your microphone. Have you stopped stage-diving since that happened?

Yes, stage-diving in that particular way. During the “Strange Mercy” tour, I was straight up hurling myself into the crowd and getting some pretty sick dives in. But then during the “St. Vincent” tour, I was definitely going into the crowd but more like jumping on the backs of security guards and running through that way. I still love the fan interaction. It’s not necessarily the end of my stage-diving days.

youtube

A lot of creative people I know are having a hard time with their muse right now. How are you doing with that?

I’m doing OK. It’s been a really productive time, but in a different way. I have this theory that people who are creative for a living were dumbstruck, creatively, by the pandemic, because we all need an element of chaos in our day to be able to grab inspiration. I know that’s a cheesy word, but we need to be able to be walking down the street, see that strange thing that somebody did and think about it, metabolize it and write about it.

People who are creative for a living have had a very hard time being creative during the pandemic. But a lot of people who aren’t necessarily creative for a living are like, “It’s a great time. I’ve finally learned how to knit and I finally wrote that short story that I‘d been meaning to do.” My informal poll of my fellow writers is that they’re banging their heads against the wall. But other people learned how to crochet or how to play “Sweet Home Alabama,” and that’s awesome.

Have you considered how you might present yourself as a performer going forward if, because of the coronavirus, the concert experience evolves into something unrecognizable?

I think about it every day. I wouldn’t imagine that things will ever be exactly back to normal, in terms of live touring. There’s a whole lot of other ways to get creative about how to reach people. And not just how to reach people but have the actual intimacy and energetic exchange of a show. The need for that kind of communion isn’t going to go away. I don’t think that’ll ever go away. It’s going to change, and it’s changed many times over the course of history. But yes, I think about it every day.

I think things that people love, they’re going to love even more, and they aren’t going to fall for things that they don’t love. Everything’s been put into sharp focus. Everybody’s figured out, more and more, what they actually need and what they don’t in these crazy times. I certainly don’t mean to minimize the actual human condition on the ground. But I think it’s going to be an exciting time for art. And that’s a silver lining.

#st vincent #annie clark #audible #interviews #A DEEP DIVE #INTO HER LIFE #AND MUSIC #YALL #also ‘passing fans’ like #have they met a st vincent fan #ALSO I DID NOT KNOW HER DAD WAS RELEASED #!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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1dsongpreferencess · 4 years

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#61: IF I COULD FLY - ONE DIRECTION

LOUIS:

"If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you I think I might give up everything, just ask me to"

You were sad. Today your boss had told you that you got fired and it wasn't because you weren't good at your work but because they had to make some cutouts and more than 10 people had to go too. To make things worst, your boyfriend Louis was on tour and he wasn't coming home till next month. You talked to your best friends and they were very supportive but the only thing you wanted right now was a hug from your boyfriend. That night you had a FaceTime date with him and he knew that something was up since you didn’t look as happy as always. "Love, is everything ok?" He said as soon as he saw you. "I got fired, Lou. It was my dream job and I feel so sad and disappointed of myself" you said as you felt the tears streaming down your face. "I'm so sorry Y/n. Tell me everything that happened" You told him the whole story and he was understanding and helped you reminding you that this wasn't your fault but you were feeling so down because know you would have to start over. "You have no idea how much I wish I could be there with you, hugging and kissing you and doing anything to make you feel better. No, That's it I'm canceling tomorrow night show. I'll be home tomorrow morning. Just say yes and I'll be there, anything for you" he said seriously. "Lou, you're amazing but no. You can't do that. Your fans have waited for months and I'm going to be ok eventually" you replied trying to make him be reasonable. "You're right" he said looking sad. "But, why don't you come? Babe, you should join me on tour, it's only one month and then we'll be back there together and you can start looking for a new job. Please" he said excitedly. You got silent for a few seconds thinking it wasn't the worst idea. "Ok, I'll go but not the whole tour only a week, and then I'll be back! I can't be one month without looking for a job. Just having you close for a while will make me feel better" He nodded and the next day you were on a plane about to see your boyfriend not knowing that week you would have a great job opportunity thanks to that tour.

LIAM:

"Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down Right now I'm completely defenseless"

You were so excited about your first trip with Liam. You decided to went to a Glamping near London. It was a very romantic way to do camping but in a glamorous way. You got ready and found the place and they took you to your glamp. It was 5 pm and you decided to get everything ready to have a romantic dinner under the stars. Liam got ready the campfire while you organized some food you brought. It was a beautiful setting but to be honest, the most amazing thing was being there with him. You eat the food and were having some wine while some S'Mores were made in the campfire. You were having a great time chatting about life and he made laugh all the time until you both stayed quiet for a while looking at the starts. It truly felt like a perfect night. Suddenly you noticed Liam looking at you and you looked back at him and said: "Y/n, I'm falling in love with you. I know we've only been dating for 2 months but I feel like you're so special. Please don't hurt me? I'm letting you know the real me" You couldn't help but hold his hand tight and reply: "I won't Li, I'm falling for you too. I can't believe how lucky I am to find a guy like you. You won't regret it" he got closer and kissed you softly. You spent the rest of the night knowing each other more and it felt like the beginning of something unique for both of you.

NIALL:

“I'm missing half of me when we're apart

Now you know me, for your eyes only

For your eyes only”

You were excited about your cousin getting married, you grew up together and you wanted her to be happy and you loved weddings, every detail about them. But even though you had all those reasons to be excited about it there was one thing missing: Your boyfriend Niall. He did his best to fit the wedding in his schedule but as he was promoting his new album every day he would have interviews and gigs and you understand but you were going to miss him a lot and you were feeling down about it. You did your best to act like you were fine and you helped your cousin with everything you could. She looked beautiful in her dress and when she was ready you went to put on yours. You were wearing a beautiful olive dress and you sent Niall a selfie so he could at least see you in that way. It was time to leave for church and you got in the Bride car with your cousin and you were helping her to calm her nerves. When you got there you were standing next to her since you were a bridesmaid. The ceremony was about to begin when you Niall sneaking in and sitting in the last seat and you couldn't help but smile at him feeling so blessed about him. When he saw you looking at him he blows you a kiss and you did the mimics of receiving it. When the ceremony was over you went running to him showing him how happy you were. "Ni, you made it" you said while hugging him. "I wouldn't miss it knowing how important this is for you. Anything to make you happy" he said. "Thank you, I was missing you so much here and all my family was asking me about you" and suddenly your parents were there greeting him, they loved him. You couldn't be happier with him by your side. Later on the reception, you would have the time of your life dancing all night long and celebrating with your family and your amazing boyfriend.

HARRY:

“I've got scars even though they can't always be seen And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing”

Since you started dating Harry you would always admire how secure and brave he was about himself and his music and everything about his life but you always thought there was something he wasn't letting you see and it may be not being on purpose but you always felt something was missing. As time started to pass by and you trusted each other a bit more every day and you could feel how he was opening to you about how he sometimes got nervous before coming at the stage or how heartbroken he felt after his last girlfriend cheated on him and how sometimes he wished to not be famous and have a normal life that he could completely share with you. One night, while you were having late dinner after he had a hugely successful concert in a big London Arena and you were there looking at him in the crowd he looked at you for a few seconds, clear his throat, and said to you. "Thank you for being there with me, love. I felt secure having you that close and knowing I could share that moment with you." You smiled and replied. "I'll be with you always, Harry. You just have to ask me to be there" and he smiled and got closer to kiss you.

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nobody-knose--archive · 4 years

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well, today i figured i didn’t have anything better to do & liveblogged the pingry ep. it’s probably a better stepping stone further into the tally void than incomplete demos, coming right off of complete demos, at least.

-from what i know this one basically includes all the mmmm songs that weren't on complete demos (andrew singing ones wahoo) & the expected demos that didn't end up anywhere else + just a friend. i also believe this one was recorded similarly to complete demos so i really have no clue what to expect for taken for a ride's vocals. anyway here i go

-the bidding sounds impressively professional to start things off, but i suppose humming isn't a terribly complex technique anyway. the intro feels a little longer th

-whoah there if that aint a marked difference in audio quality here we go

-guitars also sound different & i don't remember if this album has steve or ross on it i now realize

-goodness the mixing is wonky for rob's segment. the backing vocals do not need to bounce between channels

-why do they have kinda weird voices for the chorus. sounds like they're trying an accent or something. i can barely recognize who's singing

-the keyboard backing in zubin's segment sounds the same as usual, as in, it sounds so stupidly similar to the questions answered backing music that i'm offended i couldn't pick up they're the same for so long

-less echo on disappear actually. at least they still had the brass section

-still a weird sound on the chorus but maybe i can chalk that up to different mixing & more red

-outro sounds not super different. still very good drumming on display which will give me the push i need to decide it's ross drumming

-however i don't hear him shouting out the auctioneer stuff, and given that it was presented as a video during the mmmm recording, i might assume it was done specially for the mmmm releases, so maybe he didn't drum for this album after all

-it does have a greater similarity to the live performances even if the keyboarding is using a different synth

-well now. that's a real piano

-and as any piano will be when played that low, it's out of tune. very

-and everyone's singing? i can't hear andy in the slightest. this is interesting

-i mean i can certainly hear him doing plenty on the piano. but. it's interesting

-i suppose given the ep's hallmanac description, as a compilation of acoustic/one-take recordings i shouldn't be surprised taken for a ride is this different. but boy is it jarring. sounds incredibly different without the heavy synthesizing and complementary instruments

-barebones certainly. not much more of a way to describe it. that's what i expected just not in this way. i like the sound of this bridge though

-do very much wish i could hear andrew's actual voice. even at acoustic live performances he would sing at the very least. then again, that was years later i suppose.

-and it's only now at the final chorus that i realize, somehow, this is a piano-only song. no guitar, no drums even. that's really interesting. even the album version had some drums & bass

-red's singing isn't as impressive here. not as many high notes. understandable. bitch

-different rhythm on the quick part! bet steve feels lucky he didn't have to drum this part although i am hearing some sort of. pants-slapping? now that would be a sight to behold irl

-and that's the end

-goodness. be born. considering how this song was always & every time performed acoustic live i really expect to hear nothing here i haven't from concert recordings

-we're missing whatever the hell that skittery little shaker is called. alas i am not a percussionist & do not know the name of every auxilliary instrument ever

-rippin it up on the melodica bay be. a suitable replacement for whistling considering that never was all that good live. nobody can compare to bora karaca at whistling

-there's extra bass harmonies on display here. swell

-also no percussion i'm realizing

-da-da-da!

-but yeah normally ross uses brushes on a box/seat drum (also don't know what that's called!) for some good gentle percussion & it's not here. really hoping this won't be a trend because i'm fond of drumming even if it's from stebev himself

-bah (chorus) bah

-wait a minute that's not a bah! that's a doo! big difference! what are you doing rob

-i can tell it's one-take because rob has to take a breath in the middle of that final long bah there

-ooh dropping off the guitar there real quick are you? and not even doing the full outro too. good way to spice things up at the end.

-honestly maybe the reason i & so many other th fans dislike be born so much isn't even the country sound and weird subject matter, it's the fact that this song lacks a whole lot of the variability that might separate it from other music. in the album versions there are violins/fiddles, and the live versions... don't have that. maybe some halfway decent whistling at best. it just is what it is. especially compared to the rest of mmmm- g&e could often be more faithfully recreated on stage, but mmmm got to mix things up most of the time, except for be born. food for thought

-anyway. of all the songs i would expect to be absolutely completely identical (other than be born) the whole world and you definitely takes the cake. a delightful song. i should listen to it more.

-but yeah it was a toy orchestra piece long before a tally hall piece, and toy orchestra was & is nothing but silly little live performances. how on earth could they make this one completely different

-other than. the "punk rehearsal" i've heard of from incomplete demos. that's just. a thing i think

-oh hold on i didn't even listen to the end of be born there was a tiny outro with chat at the end oh that's adorable

-hey i can hear andrew's voice! nice!

-starting off with a full ensemble vocals, all sorts of harmonies in action, and a normal piano instead of a toy piano, so already i'm being proven decently wrong on this song's inability to be greatly altered

-other than that. i kinda like how it sounds as if they're stumbling over their words at points

-boy has andrew's voice changed hasn't it. i know i haven't listened to the solo albums so i'm not exactly one to speak but he really developed his singing a lot over time

-clapping live & not in a studio sure sounds a lot worse, especially when it's like 4 people max doing it and not a whole crowd

-zubin (i'm pretty sure) flexing on us all at the end there. good for him

-ayyyyyyy

-it's the song that's sure to invoke an emotional response out of me >:}

-it's also the song i was convinced had andrew vocals in the background (the badadum's between verses) for a good while. still not 100% certain it's rob instead but it's not like i can ask them themselves

-yeah i'll admit it right here this is the song i listen to when i'm going through emotional turmoil. not this version of the song, and no, i don't mean i listen to i'm gonna win or even the tally hall rock version of this one. i mean i listen to the cover of it from we think we're playing in a band. and that's enough on this subject!

-however given the above information yeah i am pretty familiar with this song already. not a new experience right here

-i greatly appreciate the heavy piano work. it's one of my favorite parts about the song

-oh and i should stop talking about that subject right there as well. actually i think i should just say nothing about this song in general. you'll see why in about uhh pauses video

-this friday or so? damn that's sooner than i thought lucky me

-everything will be fine! i'll be making it through!

-oh hello there. "ALBUM" is not a word beamed directly into my brain with great volume thank you very much

-so. it's the outro to good day done with weird haste. looping. no actual chord pro-

-this is. is this some sort of radio performance? what the hell is going on

-steven!!! hello there thanks for the confirmation & god is it surreal to hear his name truly uttered in the context of red rob zubin andrew. wow

-pingry school spring fling. how the hell have i never heard about whatever the hell this track is before

-wait- is it over? song listed as good day but it's in fact the outro to good day done on. a radio program maybe. and now it's a really strange sounding performance of yearbook

-i genuinely can't tell if there's a filter on rob's voice or if the micro- shit that's loud

-what in the hell is going on is this another radio performance or something? like ok yearbook at least was on songs about girls by listedblack but i really want this to be made clear soon

-all i really think i need to know about yearbook is that it's another rob "heterophobic homophonic" cantor angsty boy band song and. listening to it for the first time her. that impression sure isn't going away

-at least i get to hear andrew twinkling those ivories in the back. got a good sound. even if the mixing here is all sorts of wack. a song this complex should not be performed live with only like one microphone

-alright rob i get it you were in love with a girl- and it's over? ok

-live performance of just a friend holy shit hell yes hell yes hell yes for some reason i thought this would be the studio version but no

-i cannot imagine what this song will sound like with steve on the drums hell yes oh will there be banter will rob forget his lines will red say some random 4-syllable phrase will zubin be the best singer in the whole damn band give me an answer now

-already hearing some banter :}

-they're moving weirdly fast and andrew's already got the piano playing even in the beatboxing part. wowie

-ooh kick it andy do those riffs hell yeah

-"that sounded fishy... zubin sedghi!" i'm in love

-KICK IT ANDY

-AND ZUBIN

-and there's the drums! go stevie. go stevie

-good ness andrew just will not let up on the sick as hell keyboarding will he fukc yeah bro kill it

-rob sounds unbelievably tired for this i'm half expecting him to trip up the lyrics at any moment

-"i don't buy it" "don't gimmie that!" you say it boys. oh classic zubin line right there preserved on an official tally hall recording for all eternity, what a treasure this is

-hm isn't this a bit early to go into the pseudo-breakdown chorus? no it works. andrew still rippin it up of course

-and there's the tambourine bay be!

-buildup to the "oh snap" isn't as intense as it could get in later performances which i will gladly blame in its entirety on steve <3

-boy oh boy does rob's voice just sound generally different here. so young so so young

-shooby-doo-wah. well i had low expectations which were not quite fulfilled but it's technically more than what we got on the studio recording so. i won't complain

-THERE IT IS

-BARBEQUE SAUCE BAY BE

-what a fool i was to pause the moment he said it. silly old me <3

-no, no, thank you for coming! but hold on one second. is there not... one more track? technically not a song, technically something i think i've heard before, but if i take a step over to the tally archive...

-cell phone call.

-circus you say? if i had to guess it's the whole world & you given the 08 version of the song but that's a vague guess. can't think of anything better but my current answer isn't that good on its own

-ah! it's joey jo joseph. this wouldn't happen to be that phone call spoken of that, like, invited joe into the band in the first place, would it? i remember that story from an old bio or something, but it doesn't seem like the type of thing that'd be recorded & put on an album. hard to say

-pj? like a certain rob cator frat dude voice JP!?

-well well well now. i'm not sure what to say. i don't recognize that song they're playing as the outro. it could either be some vague listedblack or miscellaneous early tally hall song lost to the void or a demo. i wouldn't exactly know. anyway that ends the pingry ep. shorter than i thought it be, lucky old me. hope you enjoyed!

#tis i #well now i want to listen to the wall party 06 performance of taken for a ride #joe is mentioned by name only at the very end & otherwise it's only indirect references #loolin liveblogs #i wonder why the comprehension amalgamation upload doesn't include cell phone call in there. hm #and yes i'm aware there's some other cell phone track in admittedly incomplete demos no need to tell me. if you will also #not tell me something it's any other spoilers considering aid i look forward to going into that song blind actually #to the world and back again

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letterboxd · 5 years

Photo

Life in Film: Levan Akin

“Someone told me, ‘You are one person when you make the film, another when it’s over’. And that’s really the case with this film, it’s changed me fundamentally.” —The writer and director of And Then We Danced talks to our London correspondent Ella Kemp about masculinity, queer love stories, Georgian cinema and the ever-quotable joys of Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion.

Love stories come and go, but few have the golden warmth of Levan Akin’s dance-romance, And Then We Danced, which has captivated Letterboxd members enough to garner an impressive 4.0 rating out of 5. The film follows Merab (Levan Gelbakhiani), a dancer who has grown up training at the National Georgian Ensemble, and is moved to examine the structures and traditions he exists within when the charismatic Irakli (Bachi Valishvili) arrives at the company.

Akin was born and raised in Sweden, the son of a Georgian family who emigrated in the 1960s. Following the attacks at the 2013 Pride parade in the Georgian capital of Tbilisi, the solidarity among the country’s gay and queer communities became more urgent. Akin was moved to turn away from the big-budget Swedish TV productions he has made a name directing, in order to connect back to his roots for this project. But And Then We Danced isn’t solely a political commentary—it moves and feels freely.

Akin’s film gives audiences a long-overdue education on traditions far outside Hollywood: we see the rigid rules of Georgian dance, the way a body is taught to bend and extend and survive, and how spontaneous feelings have no place in that education.

If the film, told from such a unique perspective, also feels somehow familiar, it’s because Akin, who wrote, directed and co-edited, is a magnanimous cinephile. He’s been watching and understanding love stories since he can remember, and speaks of them with immense enthusiasm. There are years of wisdom and observation in the details of And Then We Danced. Every time I admit to him I haven’t seen a film he mentions, he looks sincerely happy for me that my world is yet to experience it.

Answering our Life in Film questionnaire, Akin shares memories of ABBA as a national treasure, the first film that blew him away in cinemas as a child, and why Tarkovsky could have done with being a little more queer.

This is quite a departure from the scale of your television projects. What drew you back to Georgia and those difficult circumstances? Levan Akin: I come from a background of making bigger projects, and this wasn’t obviously what a person like me should be doing next. I did a lot of Swedish TV, but I had grown tired of working the way I did. I started working for [Swedish film and commercial director] Roy Andersson when I was 22 and then I went into TV—I never went to film school. I applied twice and I didn’t get in! I was brought up in the SVT [Swedish public broadcasting service] way of making TV series. You have a script, you break it down, sometimes you write it yourself, sometimes you don’t, you do the shot list, you work with the actors, you block the scene and you move on and that’s all fine and good.

But after my previous film I was very tired. I was 36 then, and had sort of forgotten why I was making films. I had seen this Pride parade, the one where they were attacked in Georgia in 2013, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So I went to Georgia and did some research with my own little camera, and it very organically developed into this film. I never sat down and thought I’d write a story about this dancer. I used what happened around me, and I found a lot of real people. We often weren’t allowed to film in places a lot of the time—we made up stories about what we were doing. We had to have bodyguards, we’d lose locations on a day’s notice. It was insane, so I couldn’t plan out the movie like I would normally.

I wanted to make a very classical story, a very universal story and have the motor be [Merab’s] first love for Irakli and that setting him free. And then I filled it with things that happened while I was working. I’ve never worked like that, but I think it’s the best film I’ve made, and it’s really been a rejuvenation of my creative energy. Someone told me, “You are one person when you make the film, another when it’s over”. And that’s really the case with this film, it’s changed me fundamentally.

One character in And Then We Danced says, “Georgian dance is based on masculinity”. What are the defining traits of masculinity in Georgia? The definition of masculinity is so different in different cultures. In Sweden, where I live, if two men just hug too much or walk arm in arm, it’s considered super un-masculine. It’s like the whole thing about how young boys fight each other because that’s the only way they can be close in Western society. Whereas in Georgia, you can sit in someone’s lap and it’s not considered gay or un-masculine. Over there, traits like being very poetic, being a dancer, being a good singer, things that might be feminine in our culture are considered very masculine.

I thought that was interesting for the film because the regular story might have been, “I want to be a dancer but my family doesn’t want me to because it’s considered to be a feminine job”. Whereas here it’s the opposite, it’s, “I am a dancer, and I can’t be gay”.

Why was it important to use dance as a narrative vehicle to show these changing identities? What they say in the film is that Georgian dance has evolved. It’s based on old folk dances from different regions of the Caucasus, other Caucasian countries too, as well as Georgia. The dances from Batumi have a lot of oriental influences, originally even more than now. And the Kintouri dance was originally created by a queer group of people who lived in Georgia 100 years ago, and they were people working in service jobs.

Men wouldn’t take those jobs because it was considered unmanly, so the ones who worked in those jobs were gay guys or queer, some were even trans. They developed this dance and it’s sort of like a Paris Is Burning. Everybody knew they were gay. That’s what the teacher says in the film, when he says “they were softer but we made them harder”, because then these dances were appropriated by three big ensembles, and they did alterations to them.

Levan Gelbakhiani in ‘And Then We Danced’.

How did that influence the message you ultimately wanted to share? The film is about finding your own place in a traditional society, and not letting anyone tell you what your traditions ought to be, or how you ought to define yourself, to be accepted as a Georgian. That discourse is all around us now. I’m really frankly tired of people telling me that, for instance, I’m not really Swedish because my parents came from Georgia, and I have a Muslim background. Also, Georgia is 90 percent predominantly Christian Orthodox now, so a lot of Georgians think you can’t be Georgian if you’re not a Christian.

There are two major contemporary music cues in the film—ABBA’s ‘Take A Chance on Me’ and Robyn’s ‘Honey’. How did those two come to be? During the Soviet Union, there was an ABBA concert on TV and I think that was one of the only one Western pop concerts that was broadcast in Soviet. I think it had to do with Sweden being social democratic, and we had sort of a good relationship with the Soviet Union so they thought, “Ok, we can show this, at least it’s not American”. It would be on every New Year’s Eve and it would be like a tradition.

So when the Soviet Union fell, ABBA had a new market with new people who also loved ABBA. So ABBA is actually very popular in Georgia! Of course ABBA is super-expensive to [license], and we had literally no money when we made this film—it was a very hard shoot. But one of the producers of the film is the son of Benny Andersson of ABBA… I figured if he likes the film, for them it’s not a big risk. I thought, I’ll try it in the rough cut and either he’ll like it and say yes or he won’t—but he loved the movie, he was crying afterwards.

Levan Akin.

I’d also taken a risk with Robyn because that album had just come out, and we all love Robyn. We just hoped she’d like it and accept it, because we couldn’t pay her very much. Thankfully she did, and also we actually got help from Jen Malone. She’s a music supervisor and she’s so talented, and she’s the one who does the music supervision for [bands including] Euphoria, Creed and so on, so once she also got in touch she made it work for us. I’m eternally grateful to Jen.

[The following answers contain spoilers for several of the movies mentioned by Akin.]

And Then We Danced has many beautiful dance sequences. Which specific dance scenes, or dance movies broadly, inspire you? I love The Umbrellas of Cherbourg as a whole, and it has dancing in it, so that’s an easy one. In Dirty Dancing, I love the last dance, I can watch it over and over. It’s an amazing scene in every way. I also love the scene in Ex Machina where [Oscar Isaac] is dancing. It’s so nice, and so sexy.

I don’t know if there was dancing in it but I really want to mention this film—I love The Diary of A Teenage Girl. Marielle Heller is a genius. And Bel Powley and Alexander Skarsgård, they’re just so good in those parts. He was incredible! That should have won all the Oscars. In my films I never have clear antagonists, even if there are characters antagonizing the main character. I love them all, there’s no clear moral compass, everyone is just trying to do their best with the circumstances. It’s the same with this film. I love that you understand and love Alexander Skarsgård, and the guilt Minnie must have been feeling. It’s just so sensitively directed, with such a precise feeling of how to not veer in any one direction. If anyone is just shaking somewhere in that film, let’s put it in this ranking!

There’s this amazing documentary made by a Swedish documentarian, Martha & Niki. It’s about two friends who are dancers, two black girls from Sweden. Their friendship is really complicated, and they’re competing in a special dance, and you just follow them as they’re touring and competing. One of the girls is from Uganda, if I remember correctly, and another one is adopted, so they also have very different social backgrounds. I saw it in cinemas and I was just sitting and crying.

Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in Bound (1996).

What are your favorite on-screen gay love stories? Brokeback Mountain. I saw that movie in New York in 2005 and I was so shocked. I just thought, “What the fuck have I just been through”? The ending… Nowadays, I would never want to kill off a character in a gay movie, but then, it’s so vague that you don’t even know what happens to them. It breaks my heart, it still does.

I really enjoyed God’s Own Country. I thought it was really moving and touching. Josh O’Connor is a revelation, and the other guy [Alec Secareanu] is amazing too. They have great chemistry. It’s just so delicately made.

I also love the Wachowski sisters’ Bound. I remember when I saw it, oh my god. Back then, seeing that was really something. I love Jennifer Tilly, what a star!

In terms of a movie that gay communities really love: Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. I’ve seen it literally a thousand times, I just rewind it and watch it again. It’s so amazing. When we were younger, 50 percent of the lines we would say would be lines from that film. It’s hilarious. It’s such a great story about friendship. If you haven’t seen it, congratulations, you have so much to look forward to!

And how did I almost forget My Own Private Idaho?! I saw that as a kid in the 90s, and it’s just so amazing. River Phoenix. What a movie.

Could you give the Letterboxd community a primer to some great Georgian films? I love My Happy Family, a film by Simon Groß and Nana Ekvtimishvili. They’re a directing couple. They did another film called In Bloom; about a teenage girl, it’s sort of autobiographical I can imagine, as it feels very lived. It’s about a Georgian girl in the 90s. Both films were at Sundance—My Happy Family was there three years ago and I think it won an award. [It was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize, and was Georgia’s entry for the 2013 best foreign language Academy Award]. Netflix bought it, so it’s on there now.

My Happy Family (2017).

It really shows this thing in Georgia where there is no private sphere. Families live together inter-generationally for life for many reasons—financial ones for sure. It’s the story of this woman who lives with her mother, her father, her children, everybody is in that house. She decides that one day she wants to move into her own apartment, and it’s the most shocking thing anyone has ever heard of. She says she just wants to sit alone and read books and have her own space, and everyone is so provoked by that because that can’t happen in Georgia.

There’s another Georgian film I love called Street Days, by Levan Koguashvili, which came out in 2010. It was one of the first new-generation movies in Georgia showing the reality of Georgia the way it was then. It’s the story of a man who is struggling to support his family, but he’s also a drug addict. It sounds really bleak but it’s made with such dark humor.

To go really far back to the directors working through the Soviet time, there’s The Wishing Tree by Tengiz Abuladze. So many shots from that film are so, so beautiful. It’s set in the rural parts of Georgia, and it’s about a young girl who falls in love with a boy, but they can’t be married because she has to marry an older person because it’s better for the family. And the boy she was in love with was killed by the husband. She goes insane, because she keeps thinking about it all the time; she’s talking to his ghost. This old woman in the village hears her and thinks she’s cheating on her husband, so they decide to do this ritual where they stone her. It’s so sad and so beautiful, and there’s a woman in the village who’s like the town fool but she’s the only one making sense. It’s so poetic.

Sergei Parajanov is another of my all-time favorite directors—I love The Color of Pomegranates and Ashik Kerib. He’s a great surrealist director and has inspired many directors since, such as Tarsem Singh and Mark Romanek, who did a lot of music videos in the 90s. Madonna’s video for ‘Bedtime Stories’ was really inspired by Parajanov. He worked a lot with tableaux, and it’s so queer. [Parajanov] was gay and he was imprisoned for it many times. He was very close friends with [Andrei] Tarkovsky and he attributes his artistry to being inspired by him, saying that Tarkovsky released his creativity. They were close, but they’d also fight a lot. One time Parajanov told Tarkovsky, “You can never be as amazing a director as me, because you’re not a homosexual”, which is funny!

Finally, what was the film first made you want to be a filmmaker? I love that question. It feels like I’m closing a circle because I think the movie I’m thinking of has some similarities with my movie. It’s Some Kind of Wonderful, [written] by John Hughes and directed by Howard Deutch. It’s not one of the most famous John Hughes movies but it’s one of the first ones I saw in the cinema. I think I was seven years old, I went with my older sister who was eleven at the time.

Mary Stuart Masterson and Eric Stoltz in ‘Some Kind of Wonderful’ (1987).

It’s a love triangle between Eric Stoltz, Mary Stuart Masterson and Lea Thompson. Stoltz plays this working-class kid, he lives on the wrong side of the tracks, the classic perspective that’s always in John Hughes movies. He’s in love with the popular girl in school, Amanda Jones. She is also from his part of the town but is dating the rich guys. He’s really in love with her, and his best friend is played by Masterson, she’s called Watts but her nickname is Drummer Girl, and she’s a tomboy. When I was little I thought she was a boy who was a gay character. I didn’t understand that she was a girl because I’d never seen a girl like that as a kid. It’s just a great movie, it was a love triangle before love triangles were boring. I don’t know if it consciously made me want to direct films, but it was the first film that I saw that that stuck with me.

We didn’t have a lot of movie culture in my house, my parents emigrated to Sweden in the late 60s. My father read a lot, but we didn’t come from any culture. The films I’d find were the ones you could rent in the local store. Mostly American movies. The more highbrow stuff came later when I was older and could search them out myself.

‘And Then We Danced’ premiered in Director’s Fortnight in Cannes last May, and has won several prizes at other prestigious festivals since. The film is currently showing in select cinemas on the east and west coasts of America, and opens in UK cinemas on March 13.

#levan akin #and then we danced #dance films #dance movies #georgia #georgian cinema #tibilisi #lgbt #queer cinema #gay cinema #gay filmmaker #swedish film #swedish cinema #ella kemp #dirty dancing #letterboxd

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blurry-fics · 5 years

Text

Chapter Nine

Realize That It’s Gone | Series Masterlist

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 2103

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy the chapter! :) (picture credit)

“Where’s Marenna?” you asked as you tossed your backpack down next to the door. “I thought she was going to be here today?”

“She was,” Carter answered as he closed the door behind you. “But something came up with her sister and she had to bail.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.”

“What? Am I suddenly not cool enough on my own now that Ren is back in the picture?” he laughed, giving you a playful punch in the shoulder. You retaliated with a shove.

“Not at all. I just have some more… information and wanted to hear what you both thought.”

“Information? That sounds serious.”

“Later, Car. I just want to hang out for a little bit.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

Carter slung an arm around your shoulder and led you into the living room. You had grown to love his little apartment, crammed full of old vinyl records and music posters he had been collecting for years. It was decorated almost identically to what his bedroom had been at home, if his bedroom had contained a kitchen and proper living room. You always felt safe at his apartment and, as a result, you were always finding excuses to visit him. It was never difficult, considering Carter always loved having you over.

“Want something to drink?”

“Do you have vanilla Coke?”

Carter’s eyebrows were furrowed when he turned to you, “When did you start drinking that?”

“Car! I’ve been drinking it for years.”

“Well, no, I don’t have any vanilla Coke.”

“Root beer?” You already knew the answer to that question. Root beer was pretty much the only thing Carter drank.

“Of course.”

“Then I’ll have that.”

“One root beer, coming right up.”

You kicked your feet up onto the coffee table and let yourself sink back into the couch. A smile started to spread across your lips as you enjoyed the peace and quiet, that is, until Carter tossed a can of soda at you. It hit you squarely in the stomach.

“Carter,” you wheezed, “why?”

“Because I knew you would do that,” he smiled as he collapsed down onto the other end of the couch.

“I knew you would do that,” you mocked him under your breath as you popped open the can. It, by some miracle, didn’t explode all over your hands and the couch.

“So, what have you been up to lately?”

“Not much. Seeing Tyler every now and again, playing video games, taking care of Georgie. The usual.”

“How is Georgie being?”

“Chaotic, as always. I’m hoping that he calms down a little as he starts to get older. Maybe we can finally leave him unattended for more than a few hours at a time.”

“Yeah, Mom and Dad’s plan really backfired, didn’t it?”

“Big time,” you laughed.

You and Carter sat and talked for quite some time. He told you all about what he had been up to and filled you in on all the things Marenna had wanted to tell you. You told him all about Tyler and Josh’s new album, but made sure to keep all of the top secret details to yourself. Eventually, Carter sat up and folded his hands in front of him, a surefire sign that he was about to bring up something serious.

“Alright, we’ve caught each other up, now I want to hear about this information that you were talking about.”

You took a long sip of your root beer before setting it down on the coffee table.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“Wherever feels right.”

“Um, ok. Well, they picked me up yesterday. Tyler drove, although I guess that isn’t really important. Things were… normal, at first. The boys just talked about what they wanted to practice and what they felt like they needed to improve on. I just stared out the window and listened to Tyler’s music, although I’m pretty sure he deliberately played music that I liked. You know, so I wouldn’t get too bored.”

“This is your serious information?” Carter asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m getting there! I needed to set the scene first.”

“Ok, so everything was going completely and totally average.”

“Car-ter.”

He held his hands up in defeat, “Ok, ok, sorry. I’m done.”

“Alright, so we got to their practice space and they, well, practiced for awhile. I just listened and worked on some stuff on my laptop, which is whatever. They eventually decided to take a break, which is where things finally start to get interesting.”

“Oh thank god.”

You rolled your eyes, but continued on with your story. “You remember how I told you Josh was flirting with me when I went over to their apartment?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, he was flirty again. And it was a lot more obvious this time.”

“What was he doing?”

“It was just little things at first. He would make comments or jokingly tap his foot against my ankle. But then, before they started practicing again, we started talking about drumming and I made a comment about how I had always wanted to try it. Josh decided this was a good opportunity to let me try his drums.”

“Did you break something?” Carter asked, his eyes going wide.

“No. No! Carter, just listen. I was playing his drums, and I was absolutely atrocious. Even Tyler was laughing at how terrible the entire thing was. But then Josh offered to help and next thing I knew his arms were around me and he was helping me play the drums in the most intimate way possible.”

Your face felt hot simply from telling Carter about what had happened. When Josh had actually had his arms around you, you were pretty sure that you were going to melt. Something about how his hands had felt on yours and the way that you could feel his heartbeat against your back…

“Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“I asked how you felt about it, but I think the look on your face is more than enough of an answer.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, already pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “I was… yeah.”

“What did Tyler think about that whole exchange?”

“I’m not sure, my attention was elsewhere while it was going on. He stepped out of the room shortly after, though, and he didn’t seem too pleased.”

“So, let me guess, you’re right back to where you were when we talked earlier this week.”

“Exactly,” you sighed, reaching a hand up to rub at your shoulder.

“Have you talked to Tyler yet?”

“No. I haven’t had an opportunity, since Josh has been there every time I’m with him.”

“When are you seeing him next?”

“We’re hanging out tomorrow. I think I’ll probably bring-,” you paused upon feeling your phone start to vibrate in your pocket. “Hold on.”

You lifted your hips so that you could more easily slide your phone out of your back pocket. Your eyes went wide as you read over the name on the screen. It took three tries before it finally sunk in.

“Who is it?”

“Josh.”

“You have his number?”

“Yeah, he asked for mine last night as I was getting out of the car.”

“Are you going to answer?”

“I don’t know why he’s calling me.”

“Y/N! Come on! Answer it!”

“Ok, ok. But I’m going in the hall.”

You frantically got off the couch and half-jogged out of the apartment. There was a window at the end of the hall, so you started to wander that way as you hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey, this is Y/N, right?”

“Yep, that’s me.”

“This is Josh.”

“Yeah, I, um, recognized your voice,” you laughed quietly. “And had your number.”

“Right, I forgot about that.”

“It’s alright.”

A pause.

“So, um, you’re probably wondering why I’m calling?”

“I am.”

“I had something that I wanted to ask you.”

A chill ran down your spine, but you managed to keep your voice steady.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I was… oh wow, this is harder than I thought it was going to be,” he laughed.

“It’s fine, Josh. I’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal.”

“I don’t know, it feels like a pretty big deal to me.”

“Just spit it out,” you giggled.

“Well, ok, would you maybe… possibly… want to go on a date with me?”

Ok, so maybe it was a big deal.

“A date? Like, an actual date?”

Your heart was pounding against your rib cage. Being taken on a date was a completely foreign concept to you and now that it was laid out in front of you, you weren’t entirely sure what to think. Or do, for that matter.

“Yes, an actual date. You know, like getting dressed up and getting food? I mean, I don’t want to give too much away.”

He had a plan? For a date? With you?

“Sorry, I’ve just never been asked on a date,” you exhaled. “I’m still trying to process that part of this conversation.”

“You’ve never been asked on a date?”

“Never.”

“Never ever?”

You laughed, “Never ever.”

Your head was still spinning from all this new information. The thought of going on a date with Josh was enough to have you smiling like an idiot and preventing yourself from doing a happy dance around the hallway.

“So,” Josh asked, drawing out the word. “What do you say?”

Yes. There was no hesitation. You started to say it when a new thought came zipping into your mind, stopping you dead in your tracks.

Tyler.

You still hadn’t had the talk with him about pursuing things with Josh, and there was no way you were going to agree to a date without running it by him first.

“Um, is it alright if I wait to give you an answer? There’s just a few things that I need to work out before I say anything final.”

“Yeah, that’s totally fine. And if you’re worried about saying no, I promise I won’t make it weird or anything. I just thought it was worth a shot.”

“No, no, it’s not that at all, Josh. I’ll call you tomorrow night with an answer.”

“That sounds great.”

“Um, I guess this is goodbye then?”

“Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Bye, Josh.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

You ended the call and held your phone to your chest, allowing yourself a moment to fully process everything that had just happened. After a couple deep breaths, you ran back down the hall and burst through the door of Carter’s apartment.

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” you said, hastily shutting the door behind you. “What is happening?”

Carter whipped around to face you, concern already etched across his features. “What? Is everyone ok?”

“Yeah, everyone is fine. Everything is fine. Kind of. Maybe.”

“Ok, ok, slow down. What did you and Josh talk about?”

“He asked me on a date,” you blurted out. “A real getting-food-together-and-being-romantic date.”

“And what did you say?”

“Maybe, because I still have to talk to Tyler and see if he’s ok with the whole idea.”

“I think that sounds like a solid plan, Y/N.”

“Car, this is a bad idea. Please tell me it’s a bad idea.”

“I think you’re overthinking this. It’s just one date. That’s it. I know you haven’t been on many dates-”

“No dates, actually.”

“Ok, you haven’t been on any dates, but they’re not some big deal like you think they are. It’s like hanging out, but with a slightly more romantic undertone. You’re not promising to forever be devoted to Josh or anything.”

You nodded. Slowly but surely, your heart rate was slowing back down to normal and you were starting to feel calm again.

“I know, I’m just worked up because I’ve never been asked out like this, much less by some super attractive guy like Josh. Then you add in Tyler and it just becomes this big, overwhelming mess that I can’t seem to sort out.”

“Hey, remember what we talked about. Talking to Tyler is the first step, because if he’s not cool with it, there’s no date for you to even worry about.”

“Right. You’re right.”

Carter scooted a little closer to you so that he could put his hand on your back. You took a few more deep breaths as he lightly rubbed your back.

“I just don’t know what I’m doing, Car.”

“You don’t always have to know, Y/N.”

“What if I end up with the wrong person?”

“That’s not going to happen. You’re going to end up with who you were meant to end up with.”

* * * * *

Taglist

@faceofcontvsions @ohprettyweeper @tylersheavydirtysoul @topownsmyheart @schrodingersjustine @heythereitm3 @leam-2001 @breadbinishigh @wearebxnditos @iguessimsatan @harishaanne @5secondsofmoxley @patdsinner33 @littlerachelbee @iamnotawasteofspace @nostalgic1975 @fruityfreddie

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fantasiesandbooks · 5 years

Text

Tenerife Sea x

I don’t own any of the photos.

Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

Soundtrack 1

Soundtrack 2

The day of Exo’s comeback finally arrived and with it Chanyeol’s birthday too. You were on your job and luckily for you this was the last day in which you had to hand in your most important project. You were at your desk, taking few a minutes to relax after all the stress and anxiousness you were feeling not too long ago at the meeting. You checked Chanyeol’s conversation and noticed that he hasn’t seen the birthday message you had sent him at midnight.

He must be busy you thought.

With all the work and meetings you had throughout the day you hadn’t seen the boys MV which it was a bummer considering you could see all your social media exploding because of it but you had to “keep it together” at the office. You felt exhausted from these past few days and there was still two days left from the week. I don’t know how would I manage to live until Friday. You thought and rested your head in your hands. Suddenly you remembered that the party for celebrating Chanyeol’s birthday and also the guys album was that day and cursed. You weren’t not feeling in the mood for partying. The only thing you wanted to do was to fall into a coma and sleep for three days straight but you knew you couldn’t missed it giving that they really counted on you for you to be there celebrating their success. You decided that the rest of the week you wouldn’t attend to any of your classes after work and only head home to rest.

“I just beg the days come by quickly” you sighed and got back to work.

It was already 03:00 am of the following day. The boys just arrived to the dorms after working basically the entire day and having dinner after it due to Chanyeol’s birthday. Everyone went straight to their rooms to call it a day. Chanyeol was getting ready for bed when he remembered he hadn’t seen nor reply the messages in his phone- The day had been hectic with all the variety shows they had to attend and the recordings for the live show of the day.- Although his phone was buzzing all day with calls and message notifications he only took a little bit of time on his break to reply some of them. He laid on his bed with his phone in hand and started scrolling throught the thousands of messages that were waiting on his inbox. He came upon your message and read it it.

Happy birthday Yeol!!!!! I hope you will have a beautiful day with all your loved ones. Continue to be that cheerful, hardworking, kind, dorky, amazing being. <3 I feel truly thankful for having you in my life and know that I will always have your back. P.S I really hope you will have nice wine at the party because I’m in need of one glass ASAP.

Chanyeol chuckled at the last comment and also at the meme you had posted below the text that had a Baby Yoda with a birthday hat.

Maybe your words were not out of the ordinary but they warmed his heart. Also, he didn’t expect for them to be so since he knew your writing was more on the side of creating stories and not pouring your feelings out through words. He tried to come up with his reply as he felt that a simple thank you wouldn’t be enough but found it it hard to do so as he was having trouble with finding the right words to say. He decided to leave it last to continue reading and answering the rest of the messages.

Man, this is gonna take a while... he thought as he released a sigh and started typing.

The alarm set off for you to go to work. You woke up, took a shower and got dressed up. You were having breakfast and checking your social media when you noticed Chanyeol’s message. You opened it and read it:

Thanks so much y/n :) I also feel thankful for having you in my life and for you being my best friend. With you I have learned many things and know that although I can be selfish and act like an asshole sometimes, I will always care about you no matter what I say even if I’m drunk, or angry or fighting with you. Ps. I look pretty cute with that hat. - referring to the Yoda meme- and Yes! There’s gonna be good wine and I’ll be waiting for you with glass in hand ;).

You chuckled at the last part of the message but some of his previous words were the ones that stuck in your mind “I will always care about you”. You knew he was sincere about it but that also made you think about the future. There will come a day in which he would have more important people in his life. A wife or another girlfriend that treats him better that Sojin, children perhaps and that thoughts only had made you fearful, sad and anxious about it. If you couldn’t dare to tell him what you feel for him, maybe you should stop being friends as you couldn't fathom the idea of seeing him build a life with another woman while you would only be by his side pretending to be fine when you knew that neither your mind nor your heart could bear it. Being apart from him would be the only solution which you could think of and that wasn’t a good option either. You shook your head, trying to dissipate those thoughts away. I don’t have time for that right now you thought as you looked at the clock and saw you were already 10 minutes late. You rushed to leave everything as good as possible at your home and headed to work.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally Friday had arrived. The Exo members were checking the last stuff for their party- The place was a well-known bar that was located in one of the most famous and modern skyscrapers of Seoul. It had a big terrace and a wonderful view of the city’s night life. The music was blasting with a DJ at the inside of the bar. You could see some waiters walking around carrying boxes full with booze and others helping the bartender setting up the bar.- Chanyeol was looking at his phone with a big frown on his face when Baekhyun approached him and padded his back.

“I can wait for the party to start” The now white haired boy said excitedly and Chanyeol turned to look at him, frowning still.

“What’s the matter Yeol?” Baekhyun asked, his smile fading slowly at seeing his friend’s face.

“I’ve just got a text from Sojin. She’s coming over” Chanyeol sighed.

“You’re joking right?” Baekhyun huffed and Chanyeol gave him a serious look.

“Look” The tall boy said and showed his phone to Baekhyun so he could read the message. After reading it Baekhyun let out a groan “Come on man! Why did you invite her?” He whined.

“I swear I didn’t. She heard about the party at the Studio” Chanyeol explained. Baekhyun gave a frustrated sigh.

“Can’t we just prohibited her entrance?” Baekhyun suggested and Chanyeol gave him a pointed look.

“Even if we do that She will call for me” Chanyeol said matter of factly.

“She’s problematic” Baekhyun pointed out and Chanyeol averted his eyes at the floor, he was starting to feel stressed about it.

“I don’t know what to do to fix it” Chanyeol confessed. Baekhyun was beginning to feel stressed too, he knew Sojin there would meant trouble of some kind, specially if she came across you. She would be on Chanyeol’s back the entire night just so everyone could see he was taken.

“Ok, we just have to keep her distracted and sober... and away from y/n the rest of the night” Baekhyun said thoughtfully. Chanyeol doubted they could do the tree things altogether but kept quiet and let his friend kept talking.

“Yeah but I don’t want to be stuck with her the entire night” Chanyeol said, concern readable on his face.

“You won’t be. I’ll help you and we will have to tell the rest of the boys about this unexpected guest” Baekhyun said.

“Thank you man. I really need help with her” Chanyeol said relieved.

“Ok course. That’s what bros are for... to keep you away from crazy girlfriends” Baekhyun said proudly.

“Hey, do you know anything about y/n?” Chanyeol asked trying to sound calmed. He haven’t mentioned anything about he being in love with you to any of the boys. Nor even Baekhyun. The least he wanted right now was hearing his friends teasing and jokes about his unrequited love and comparing him with Jackson.

“Only that she’ll be here after work and that she’s coming with Jackson” Baekhyun explained “why?”.

“It’s nothing, actually. It’s just that I sent her a message an hour ago to see if she was already on her way but she didn’t answer” Chanyeol answered.

“Maybe she didn’t listen the notification.” Baekhyun said nonchalantly. “She’s fine. Plus, she is coming with her boyfriend”.

“Yeah” Chanyeol couldn’t help but rolled his eyes at the mention of Jackson.

“Why you hated him?” Baekhyun asked amused.

“What?! I don’t hate him” Chanyeol said trying to feign incredulously and Baekhyun gave him a quizzical look. “Ahg... I think he’s trying too hard. You know like hanging out with us and giving us presents just so y/n can see him as the finest gentleman she had ever came across with”.

Baekhyun sneered at that. “Isn’t it normal that he is trying so hard?. Come on Yeol! We are both men. We know that men only try that hard when they are really interested in the other person. If that’s the case, you more than any of us, should feel happy that she is with a good boy”.

“Or maybe he is just pretending to be interested and the only thing he wants is to jump into her pants. You know there’s that chance too”. Chanyeol retorted.

“I hardly doubt that. I know him and he is just not that kind of guy” Baekhyun said calmed.

“You don’t know him too well. Neither do I and let me tell you that only over my dead body he will lay a hand on her” Chanyeol countered back.

“You know she’s probably not virgin right?” Baekhyun pointed out, giving him an amused look. At the thought of that Chanyeol couldn’t stop feel angry. He knew you have been in relationships before, so have he. But now just the thought of you getting touched by other men irked him like never before.

“Yeah well whether she is or not I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t find out” Chanyeol said determined. Baekhyun rolled his eyes at his friend. Everybody close to Chanyeol knew the boy went overboard sometimes with the things that matter to him, specially regarding his friends and family. The people who spend a lot of time with him, like you or the guys, have learned to live with the ups and downsides of it.

“How could Yoora was able to marry, with you being his brother?” The white haired boy asked although he didn’t expect an answer.

“Believe it or not my dad was tougher than me” Chanyeol explained and Baekhyun shook his head.

“Baekhyun” Junmyeon said while approaching the two men.

“Jongdae is looking for you. He said there is something wrong with the bottles you ordered” The redhead said.

“What?! This can’t be happening right now.” Baekhyun said storming out to find the other boy. Chanyeol and Junmyeon looked how his friend walked away and the last one turned to look at the tall man.

“Is there something wrong?. You looked worried.” Junmyeon asked him.

“Sojin is coming to the party. Baekhyun suggested to basically babysit her the entire night but honestly I feel so tired to do that on my own and he said I’d asked you guys for help” Chanyeol said and his leader released a heavy sigh.

“I’ll help you when she arrives” Suho said resigned. “Now come on. I need some help with checking the waiters who are preparing the snacks trays”.

“Thank you” Chanyeol said sincerely and both men headed towards the kitchen.

It was 09:00pm and you and Jackson were arriving at the party. You were not feeling as tired as you had imagined which giving the tough week you had had was like a miracle. You were wearing a knitted brown sweater with black jeans and flat boots. Your wavy hair in a long ponytail and natural makeup. Your “boyfriend” on the other side, was wearing a dark red jacket with brown jeans and sneakers. When the two of you arrived at the floor where the party has been held you noticed a lot of people was already there waiting in line to pass.

“Now this is a real party” Jackson said while looking at his surroundings.

“Don’t you guys do the same at your company?” You asked intrigued.

“Not even close.” Jackson stated. “We do have parties but not like this” he said gesturing at the whole place. - it was a massive room beautifully adorned with fancy furniture and sculptures, all of it surrounded by enormous crystal walls. There were huge posters promoting the boys comeback and a few ones of Chanyeol with the “Happy Birthday” sign And his birthdate written on them. You could see a DJ on one side of the room and a beer pong table with people around it at the other side.- The place was crowded but it was big enough for you to not feel suffocated. Luckily the people at the row were passing quickly and after 20 minutes you and Jackson were inside. You took Jackson’s hand and started walking around the bar.

“Y/n” someone called you and you turned to looked at them. It was Jongdae. He spotted you from across the room and headed towards you.

“Hi Dae! Good to see you” you said excitedly and hugged him. “Congratulations on your guys comeback and also for hosting this party. Clearly you wanted it to do it memorable”.

“Thank you” Jongdae said and turned to look at Jackson.

“Hi man! How are you?” Jongdae greeted him and give him a pad on his back.

“I’m good thanks man. What about you?” Jackson said cheerfully.

“Same. I’m glad you two came” Jongdae said.

“We couldn’t miss it, right Jack?” You said.

“Yeah.” Jackson said.

“Hey Dae! Have you seen Chanyeol? I want to give him his birthday present” you asked your friend.

“I saw him at the terrace a couple of minutes ago. He was chatting with someone guys” Jongdae explained.

“Oh! Well I’m going to go and try to find him. Are you gonna be alright?” You asked Jackson.

“Sure! I’ll be around here” he said nonchalantly.

“You should come with me. Last time you didn’t finish telling me and Junmyeon about some thing we’re curious about your album” Chen said and put one of his arms around the other boy’s shoulders.

You saw the two boys walking away and you turned to walked towards the terrace. Outside it was cold, the night air hitting you in the face and making you want to come back inside. There were tables with little bonfires above them and couches next to them. Some people outside were chatting, others smoking and having drinks at the tables. At one corner you could spotted Chanyeol. He was wearing a large sand-brown coat and jeans.

He looks so handsome you though.

You went straight to him and touched his arm gently.

Chanyeol was chatting with some on his friends when he sensed a light touch on his arm and heard you greeting him.

“Hi Chan!” You said cheerfully.

He turned slightly to look at you and smiled. “Hey!” He said. The other people around him scattered leaving only the two of you.

“How are you?” You asked him.

“I’m good although this whole thing it’s crazy. There are more people than the ones we had invited” He said looking around at all the people outside.

“You know it always ends up like that when you throw a party” You chuckled. “Oh, before I forget this. Here! Happy birthday.” You said and pull out of your bag a little blue box with a silver ribbon around it. Chanyeol looked at you surprised and took the box.

“Well it’s just a half of the entire present. The other half is at your room” you explained.

“You sneaked into my room?!.... but how?” Chanyeol said baffled.

You smile amusingly at him “It wasn’t me. It was Myeon the one that put it in there.”

He look at the box again and took off the ribbon, he opened it and inside of it there was a silver guitar pick. On one side it had carved one of his many nicknames “Yeol” and at the other it had the silhouette of a puppy that look like Toben. He look at it and smiled. You knew he liked everything that had a personal touch of him and for what you remembered he didn’t have a guitar pick with his name, nickname nor his dog on it.

“So I can asumme the other half of the present it’s a guitar?” He looked at you quizzically.

“It could be a stripper too. I’ll guess you will find out once you see it” You said nonchalantly and he laughed.

“Wether it’s a girl or a guitar it’s gonna be good so thank you” he smiled widely at you.

You laughed slightly “You’re welcome” you said and engulfed him in a hug.

Chanyeol closed his eyes for a moment and rested his head upon yours, it was a habit of his every time you two hugged since he was taller than you. That way he could sniffled the essence of your hair and your perfume he had come to love so much. He had a big smile drawn on his face, he know that, and maybe everyone around would look at you two and see him as an idiot because of that but he didn’t care. He needed his safe place even if it was for a couple of minutes after the exhausting week he just had had.

“Am I interrupting?” Someone said in an annoyed tone. Just with that he came back to reality. Chanyeol recognized that voice, it was Sojin’s. He opened his eyes abruptly and saw the other girl standing in front of you with an irritated look on her face. When you heard her too you quickly broke the embrace. You felt uncomfortable at the daggers Sojin was throwing at you through her eyes and averted your gaze.

“Sojin” was the only thing Chanyeol said. He looked clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable as well as you.

“Hey Sojin” you said although you couldn’t sound so happy when you greeted her.

“Would you care to explain what was happening here?” She asked.

“I was just congratulating him for his birthday” you explained.

“Oh! Well in that case I believe it’s my turn to congratulate my boyfriend. Excuse me” she tossed you aside and stood between you and Chanyeol. She grabbed the tall boy’s face a little bit harshly and kissed him.

You let out a huffed and rolled your eyes. By the looks of it it seemed that Chanyeol was taken aback for her sudden move and it seemed like he was trying to break the kiss. Your anger at Sojin’s childish behavior and Chanyeol’s passive attitude was starting to build up.

I don’t need to watch this you though and walked away from them.

For Chanyeol everything happened so quickly he didn’t know how to react. He saw how Sojin had pushed you aside but he didn’t have time to said something when he felt Sojin’s hands on his cheeks and her mouth over his a moment after. He tried to move his face away from hers but at the same time he didn’t want it to do it aggressively so when he finally could got away from her hold, you we’re already gone. He looked from side to side in case you were still near but he didn’t see you. Then he looked at Sojin and grabbed his hair in frustration.

I can’t keep up with this he thought.

You went inside in search for the rest of the boys or Jackson. You didn’t want to ruin your night with seeing Chanyeol stuck to Sojin. You spotted Jongin and Sehun at the bar. You approached them and greeted both boys.

“Hey guys!” You said to them.

“Y/n you came!” Jongin said cheerfully and Sehun waved at you while having a zip of his beer.

“Of course. Baekhyun told me the bar would be open for me.” You joked and both guys laughed.

“Well technically we are in charge of checking the booze request but we could have a deal if you bring us your homemade lasagna next time you go to the dorms” Sehun tried to bargain.

“A smooth move Oh Sehun” you said and extended your hand at him to sealed the bargain “Ok deal. Now, can you order a glass of wine for me?”. Sehun took your hand smiling mischievously at you and called for one of the bartenders for him to take your order. “Did you just arrived?” Jongin asked you.

“No, I arrived almost an hour ago but there was a lot of people outside trying to get in and then Jackson and I came across with Dae and he took him away. I don’t where they are now” you explained and Sehun gave you your drink. You started to drink it as if it was water. The wine was burning your throat slightly but it had a nice flavor.

“You should drink slowly. At least enjoy the flavor of it” Jongin suggested.

“I did that. That’s why I want another one” you said and gestured the bartender to gave you another glass.

Jongin and Sehun exchanged a quizzical look for a moment and you asked them “So where are the rest of the guys? Myeon and Baekhyun.” You clarified.

“Junmyeon was supposed to be at the entrance telling the guards nobody can enter from now on and Baekhyun was looking for Chanyeol a couple of minutes ago. Have you seen him?” Sehun asked you.

“Yeah” You said and turned to said thank you to the bartender for your drink.

“He was outside... with Sojin” you said annoyed.

“Oh” both boys said at unison, not sounding very happy at the mention of her name.

“So everyone has the same feeling towards her, huh?” You asked rhetorically drinking your glass in one go. “You could say that” Jongin answered hesitantly. “I think the only one who’s trying to not dislike her is Junmyeon”

“Yeah because the man is an Angel” you said and both boys chuckled.

“I think it’s more because he knows it has been difficult for Chanyeol seeing she don’t match in our group like you or Jackson”. Sehun thought out loud and Jongin nodded in agreement. “Yes. I mean you are our friend and Jackson is trying to be but he doesn’t make a fool of himself” the blue haired boy said. You nodded in understanding and thought about the first time you have started talking with all of them. Everyone was so friendly with you that you wished you could be friends with all of them and you were so thankful that became true.

After a while of you talking with the boys you were getting slightly worried about Jackson. He came with you after all and you had just left him with Jongdae. You thought he had to be fine as Dae wasn’t much of a drinker either but the part that made you worried was that you haven’t seen him around since you went to look for Chanyeol.

“Guys” You said louder so Sehun and Jongin could hear you above the music. Both men turned to look at you.

“I’m gonna go to find Jackson” you announced.

“Do you want us to help you looking?” Sehun asked you.

“It’s ok, I’ll do it alone. If I can’t find him then I’ll come back for you. Thank you.” You said and the boys nodded.

“See you” Sehun said as you turned around and walked away.

You were walking between bodies dancing and drinking. You were beginning to feel suffocated by how close each person was with another and decided to walked around the dance floor.

“Ah y/n” You heard Sojin called you from behind.

Fuck you thought annoyed and turned around to see her.

“Are you looking for Chanyeol?” Sojin asked you.

“No. I’m looking for Jackson” you said nonchalantly.

“Probably he got bored and left.” She said and wave her hand dismissively at you.

“He is not like that” you said and she snorted.

“If you say so...” Sojin said. “Hey now that you are here. How about we play some beer pong?”.

“I’m good thanks. I have to find Jackson” you said an feigned a smile at her.

“Come on. It’s a quick game actually. Or do you think you can’t handle the drinks?” She asked with a smug smile on her face. You thought about saying no again and go to find your friend but you also didn’t want to granted her the pleasure of calling you a quitter. There was something in the challenge of it and the satisfaction of seeing her face contorted in anger that made you agree to her request.

“Fine! Only one game” you said sternly.

“Ok” she said amused and you two walked towards the table. The people around it started cheering at the two of you, their new contenders.

“Do you know the rules of the game or should I explained them for you?” Sojin said arrogantly.

“I already know them. Let’s get this over with” you said. You were so done with her attitude that now more than ever you wanted to win.

“Very well then. You shot first” She said and one person of the crowd handed you the little ball. You focus you gaze at one cup in Sojin’s side, inhale slightly and exhaled when you threw the ball. You could see the ball going inside the cup and splashing a little bit of the drink on the table. People yelled excitedly and you smiled at your small feat. Sojin grabbed the cup and drank it without problem.

Ok maybe I can win this You encouraged yourself inside your mind.

Let’s kick this bitch’s ass

The game was going smoothly. You on the other hand were starting to feel dizzy and a little burn inside your stomach. You tried to suppressed any sign that would indicated Sojin or any other at the table your state so you keep playing. It was almost the end of the game and you were winning 19-18 until Sojin scored another point and you had to drink the cup. It was the last shot for each of you. If you scored you would be the winner. You took the ball and looked around. Everybody was looking expectantly and Sojin was giving you a wicked smile as she noticed you were starting to look drunk. You had good aim but she had a better alcohol tolerance. You breathe deeply once again focusing only on the last cup at one side of the table and shot the ball. Thankfully the ball reached its target and went inside the cup. The crowd cheered and you could heard some people groaning at losing their bets and you smiled at Sojin who looked annoyed at your winning. You pushed passed the people surrounding the table and walked in search of a bathroom.

Once in there you leaned over the sink and splashed water on your face. You turned to look at yourself at the mirror and didn’t recognize the person in front of it. You had your cheeks bright red as if you had a fever. Your lips dry as you were feeling thristy. You felt your legs weak and the dizziness was increasing inside of you.

I need to sit you thought and went outside.

Near the restrooms were a couple of stairs that leaded to the kitchen. You took a seat on them and leaned over the wall.

After you went looking for Jackson he came over with Jongdae and Junmyeon to where Sehun and Jongin were sitting. He asked about you and the boys had told him you were looking for him too. He suggested calling you but the boys showed him you had left your purse with them and inside of it was your phone. The other boys offered to look for you too and everyone scattered around. They had agreed to call the others if anyone found you.

Baekhyun was walking around the bar searching for Sojin. It was his turn to keep an eye on her since Chanyeol and Junmyeon had been stuck with her since she arrived. He was doing a great job he thought, trying to have a conversation with her even though she was moody because she had seen you and Chanyeol hugging and it looked like her boyfriend was having the time of his live by doing it. Her words not his. She was complaining about it when a couple of Baekhyun’s friends came over to him and greeted him. He talked with them for what he thought were like 3 seconds and when he turned around to introduced Sojin, the girl was already gone.

Shit he muttered and excused himself to went after her.

In times like this when he would have to look for someone he hated the fact that a lot of people had came to the party. He couldn’t find her anywhere and felt stressed about it. He stopped at one side of the restrooms and decided to wait there for a couple of minutes in case she was inside the ladies room. He groaned in frustration.

I take back what I said earlier about not hating her... I totally do now he thought.

He scanned the place and saw you sitting at the stairs. Oh my god, that’s y/n. He thought alarmed when he saw you leaning over the wall with your eyes closed. He walked rapidly towards you and shook your arm.

“Y/n are you ok?” You heard Baekhyun said and felt your arms being shaken. You opened your eyes and smiled at him.

“Baek, you’re here” you slurred.

“Are you drunk?” He said surprised and you nodded.

“But you don’t drink that much. What happened?” He said surprised.

“Beer pong. Sojin challenged me” you said between breaths.

“My god! ” He said. “But you didn’t drink beer, right?. There’s no way you could get drunk that fast by only drinking beer”.

“Beer, tequila, vodka...” you counted. “And more”. Baekhyun sighed heavily. He definitely hated Sojin now.

“We need to get you a bottle of water and take you home. Can you stand up?” The white haired boy asked you.

“Yeah...” You said hesitantly and loosed your balanced. You would have crashed against the wall if Baekhyun hadn’t grabbed you.

“Ok no” Baekhyun said as he struggled to keep you balanced. He put one of your arms over his shoulders and leaned your weight on him.

“Let’s go to the bar for some water” he said and you two started walking.

“Jackson” You said and Baekhyun side eyed you.

“What?! I didn’t hear you well” he said.

“Where is Jackson?” You asked.

“That’s something I would like to know too” he said between breaths.

You two arrived at the bar. Baekhyun placed you in a stool and asked the bartender for a glass of water.

“Baekhyun!” Jackson yelled as he was approaching. You could tell his face was growing with concern as his vision became clearer and he saw you weren’t all right.

“Hey!” Baekhyun said.

“Y/n!. What’s wrong with you?” He said as he cupped your face.

“She’s drunk. Sojin challenged her to a beer pong game” Baekhyun explained.

“But she doesn’t drink. At least not like that” Jackson said turning his gaze from you to the other boy.

“I know. That’s why she’s like this” Baekhyun gestured towards you.

“We need to give her food and water to reduce the symptoms.” Jackson said.

“I’ve already ordered a glass of water and there’s no food left. It ran out” Baekhyun explained. Jackson felt his phone vibrated in his pocket. He took it out and saw Jongdae was calling him.

“Shit! I forgot to call the other guys. We had agreed that whoever find her first, he would have to call the other guys that were looking for her too” he explained. Baekhyun nodded and went to take the glass of water from the bartender and gave it to you. “Dae, I found y/n. Me and Baekhyun are with her at the bar right now. She’s drunk but overall she’s fine. Yeah, we are not moving from here. Please tell the others about it. Bye.” Jackson said and hung up. He turned to look at you and shook his head in disapproval “what were you thinking?”.

“That I wanted to beat her ass” you said and Baekhyun snorted.

“And did you?” The white haired boy asked you.

“Yes” You said with a smug smile on your face.

Jackson chuckled and Baekhyun praised you “That’s my girl”.

Chanyeol was inside the bar as the night air was colder than it was a couple of hours ago. After getting over the jealousy scene Sojin had made at seen you and him hugged he texted Baekhyun saying he needed help ASAP. His shorter friend came 5 minutes after that and the tall man made up an excuse for getting away from Sojin at least for a couple of hours. He wanted to go after you and apologized for the girl’s behavior but some friends and acquaintances intercepted him during his quest and just now he was able to continue with it.

Chanyeol was walking around when he spotted Jongdae’s head between the sea of people. He called his name and the other boy looked at him surprised. Jongdae got out of the dance floor and went straight to him.

“Hey man! I’m looking for y/n. Have you seen her?” The white haired boy asked.

“I’ve just talked with Jackson through the phone. Y/n is drunk. Jackson is with her at the bar” The shorter boy explained.

“What?!... How did that happen?. Did he make her drunk?” Chanyeol said baffled. Anger building up inside of him as he imagined Jackson was the one responsible for your state.

“No. It was your girlfriend” His friend stated.

“Sojin? How could she do that?” Chanyeol asked intrigued.

“Apparently she challenged her to a beer pong game” Jongdae answered while they were heading to the bar.

Chanyeol pinched the bridge of his nose trying to contain his anger. He couldn’t believe all the troubles this girl has caused.

They were the first ones to arrived at the bar. They saw Jackson and Baekhyun surrounding you and went closer.

“How is she?” Jongdae asked.

“She’s still dizzy but at least she hadn’t vomit” Baekhyun said, his eyes catching the other ones.

“Y/n are you feeling better?” Chanyeol asked taking a step forward so he could grabbed your hand.

“Channie you have come” You said cheerfully and touched his cheek.

“Apparently she is the happy drunk kind of girl” Baekhyun said amused.

“We need to take her home.” Jongdae said.

“Yeah! I think so too” Baekhyun agreed to what his friend’s just said.

“I’ll take her.” Jackson and Chanyeol said at unison. Both men turned to look at each other. Jackson with a serious face and Chanyeol frowning at him.

“I came along with her. I’m responsible for her tonight” Jackson explained.

“I’m her best friend and I’m always looking after her not just tonight” Chanyeol countered back.

“You have a girlfriend to take care of” Jackson said matter of factly. Chanyeol was feeling his inside burning “And if you had taken care of yours this wouldn’t had happened”.

“Same goes to you” Jackson huffed.

“Ok let’s calmed down guys” Baekhyun said trying to loosen the mood. “How about I take her home?” The shorter boy suggested. “No” Jackson and Chanyeol roar at the same time while they turned to look at him quickly and went back to their hate staring contest.

“I’m tak...” Jackson got cut off by his phone ringing.

“Shit! Hold on” he said and got out of the circle the boys had created around you.

“Like hell he’s taking her” Chanyeol said to the rest of the boys. Everyone could see he was mad now and the boys got worried at that. Chanyeol was the kind of people who could loose his temper easily.

“Calm down man” Jongdae grabbed him by the arm. “We don’t want the two of you to cause a scene here”. Jackson returned with you. The boys could see on his features he was upset.

“Ahg...I’ve got a call from Mark. He said my manager need us urgently. I have to go” he said reluctantly. Baekhyun and Jongdae nodded at him. Chanyeol on the other hand was pointed looking at him with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Don’t worry, we understand. We’ll take care of her” Baekhyun said reassuringly and padded his friend’s back.

“Can you take her home?” Jackson asked directly at Baekhyun, ignoring Chanyeol’s hard gaze. At hearing that, Chanyeol was ready to complain when he felt Jongdae squeezed his arm to hold him back from it.

“Sure. I’ll keep you informed about her” Baekhyun said.

“Thanks man” Jackson said and gave him a pad on the back. He turned to looked at the others and you. His gaze changing from a worried one to a hard one when it lay on Chanyeol.

“See you”. He said and hurried up to the entrance gate.

The rest of the Exo members looked at him walking away and turned to you. “Ok let’s go ” Chanyeol said and hunched to grabbed your arm and put it over his shoulders.

“Chanyeol” Baekhyun said sternly.

“Come on. Let me take her home” Chanyeol whined.

“What about Sojin?” Jongdae asked.

“I don’t care about her right now” Chanyeol said.

“At least you know her enter code?” Baekhyun asked inquisitively.

Chanyeol kept quiet for a moment thinking about it. -He knew the code until you two last fought. The last time he went to your place he was so caught up with chatting that he didn’t see if it was the same or not and now he wasn’t sure of it.-

“I’m... not sure” The tall boy admitted. Jongdae gave him a pointed look and Baekhyun facepalmed himself.

“Then take her to the dorms.” Jongdae said. “Kyungsoo’s and Minseok’s rooms are empty”. Chanyeol nodded and grabbed you by the waist to steadied you “I’ll see you at home” and started walking.

“Let us know when you get there” Baekhyun yelled and he could heard a “yeah” coming for his friend.

“What a good night” Jongdae said sarcastically.

“Tell me about it” Baekhyun said. Chanyeol was feeling a slight back pain from the hunching as he was walking towards the entrance.

“Channie. I’m not feeling well” You slurred.

“I know. We are going home. Hang in there” he said to your ear so you could heard him through the music. You were almost at the elevator when Chanyeol felt a firm grip on his other arm.

“Chanyeol” it was Sojin looking at him furiously “Where are you going with her?”. His girlfriend spat.

“I’m taking her home. As you can see she’s drunk. Thanks for that by the way”. He said annoyed.

“Please. She had a couple of drinks” she said dismissively.

Chanyeol glared at her, refraining himself from arguing. “We’ll have this discussion later”. He turned to keep going and Sojin stood in front of you.

“If you go with her we are done”. She threatened him.

“Fine.” Chanyeol said bluntly and walked around her.

She huffed and started ranting about it.

Chanyeol didn’t hear her once you got into the elevator. You started laughing out of nowhere and Chanyeol look at you weirded out.

“Why are you laughing?” He asked you.

“She looked so mad” you said between laughter. Chanyeol snorted. Never in his life he or the other boys have seen you drunk. You’ve always tried to behave yourself and usually it was you who kept them at bay with alcohol.

“Yeah well, you helped with that too” He pointed out.

“I know. That’s why it’s even funnier for me.” You said amused. The elevator stopped at the main entrance of the building and Chanyeol took you to his car.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chanyeol closed the door once he settled you on the couch. He was exhausted for almost dragging you from the parking lot to the lobby and then from the elevator to the dorms. He gave a sighed and turned to look at you. You were still mumbling random things and got slightly touchy with him during the whole ride to their home. At least she didn’t vomit in my car he thought relieved.

“Ok now. We need to get you to bed” He said. He approached you and was standing there thinking in which room he should left you. He decided to take you to his room in case you destroyed anything inside of it. He carried you bridal style and walked through the hall rapidly.

“Good God woman! You are definitely putting on some muscle” he said short of breath. You hummed in agreement. He kicked the door open and laid you on his bed.

“Chanyeol... I don’t feel well. I’m thirsty” you complained.

The tall boy was beginning to normalize his breathing when he said “I’ll be right back”.

He went to the kitchen for a bottle of water and jogged back to this room. He was at the door when the view in front of him took him by surprise.

“What did you do?” He almost yelled when he notice you were sitting on his bed without any pants.

“They are uncomfortable” you explained and pouted at him. He tried not to look at your legs and your underwear and handed you the bottle.

“Here, have this. It should help you a little bit” He explained, trying to look at anything but you. You noticed your best friend had his face and ears slightly red because of the embarrassment and made you chuckled. “What’s wrong? Clearly you had seen women’s legs before” you said amused. He didn’t answer at your statement and went to sit beside you. You took a zip of water and sighed in satisfaction.

“Better?” He asked while looking at you.

“Yeah” you said. Your drunken mind still taking the reins of your actions.

“You are bad” you said and slapped slightly his chest.

“Me?! I took you home” Chanyeol said offended.

“Jackson would have...” you said.

“Your perfect boyfriend couldn’t do it because he had other things more important to do” Chanyeol said bitterly. “He’s not my boyfriend” you corrected him.

“He’s not?!. Then you are friends with benefits” Chanyeol said sarcastically and you sneered.

“Psh... I wish. I mean have you seen him?” You said and Chanyeol gave you a judging look.

“I don’t like your drunk self” He pointed out.

“He is hot and he dances like OH MY GOD” you said and slapped his chest again. Chanyeol grimaced and grabbed your hand to prevent another slap.

“I got it. You are head over heels for him now shut up” Chanyeol said irritated.

“Not as I am with you” you said amusingly and leaned your body against his.

“What?” Chanyeol turned to look at you baffled.

“You” You said, cupping his cheek. You were looking at his lips. They seemed so soft and pink and juicy.

I wondered how they would taste like you thought.

It was like you didn’t have control over your body as you leaned forward a little bit more and smashed your lips against his. Chanyeol had a bewildered look on his face. You had your lips pressing against his. For what he felt was a minute he stood there frozen. Your lips caught his lower lip and you caressed it gently with your tongue.

Chanyeol could taste the mix of different drinks on your lips and when he felt the feathery touch of your tongue against his he gave in. He closed his eyes and gently grabbed your arm. His lips caught yours and his tongue started tracing their edges. He felt an explosion inside of him. Even thought the kiss was slow he felt a storm of emotions; fear, shyness, love. He thought it was the best kiss he had ever received.

“Fake” you muffled against his lips.

“What?” Chanyeol reacted at hearing your voice. The memories of tonight flashing in his mind and he remembered your drunken state. He broke up the kiss and looked at you.

“He” you whispered and before you could join your lips again you felt asleep. Your head crashing against Chanyeol’s chest.

He grabbed you and carefully laid you on the bed. He turned around and saw near his desk there was an acoustic guitar with a blue ribbon stuck to it. He went over to grabbed it and take a better look at it. The body was smooth and have the name “Loey” beautifully carved at one side of it. It was a good brand too. He put his fingers over the strings and noticed it had a nice acoustic. He smiled at the sound of it but it quickly faded away as he remembered your last words.

“What was she talking about?” He asked to himself. He laid next to you and turned his face so he could take a look at you. There was no way that you would answer him now. Fake. He. What is fake? And who is he? Was she talking about Jackson? Or me? Will she remembered this tomorrow?

Chanyeol’s mind was fill with so many questions right now. The tiredness from the day soon catching up with him and he felt asleep.

Tomorrow it would be a day full of explanations.

Thank you for the support and the love. I hope you like the series and enjoy this chapter. I’ll try to come up with the next one as soon as possible. Are you getting ready for the holidays?. Also If you have any comments regarding the series feel free to send me a message. I think it would help me a lot.^^

#chanyeol #exo au #park chanyeol #exo #chanyeol au #pcy #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol series #exo fanfic #fic #exo scenario #chanyeol scenario

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pjstafford · 4 years

Text

Random Thoughts

Hello, world, friend and family

I have been doing weekly blogs. Not sure anybody reads them or anybody cares. This will be my last one of this series. I have tried to be as soul searching, in depth, the good, the bad and the ugly with these blogs as I could be in the midst of a time when we are all experiencing the same thing in slightly different ways.

Today I have nothing earth shaking to say. I only have the random thoughts which pass through my brain.

Saturday New Mexico opens up with a lot of restrictions. My world will change little as I can work mostly from home and, if you can, you should. When I go into the office or out for supplies, I will go, do and come back home. Despite no change for me in the foreseeable future, there is a sense of relief and a sense of lightness. We survived for now. No one I love have been deeply affected yet. Those caveats at the end of sentences! I started this blog series with a list of all the emotions I was experiencing. I end the same but with slightly different emotions. Grateful, relief, hesitant, determined. I am the same as I have ever been. I have changed in so many fundamental ways.

The last two months are divided up into two different time periods. The first month I had this almost paralyzing fear...not so much for me but for mankind. I thought this could be the apolcalypse. It has not been to date. The silliest of some of my thoughts make me shake my head. I still have toilet paper. I’m ok with higher prices for meat...become more plant based, friends, move on. I was so often annoyed that first month with the time wasting. So many zoom meetings designed to “check” in and, guess what, I have real work to do. I’m not sure if people became more used to working from home or I became better at putting in boundaries at what I would do, but wasting work time not working has never been my strength. I am a person who likes to be helpful. The second month seems more productive. There is worth in my work. I’ve developed a pattern where my work day hours may be longer but less compact. I can work two hours, take an hour, work two more, repeat. The ebb and flow of work becomes mostly my own except for meetings I must attend which seem more relevant now. When the subject matter I’m dealing with is depressing I take more self care moments and then am more productive because of it. Those large projects I thought were vital sit unfinished. The projects I’ve done instead seem more relevant in the moment.

I gained weight I wish I hadn’t. Drank too much for a week or two and then realized I wasn’t enjoying it. It wasn’t helping me to sleep or relaxed so I went back to my pre crisis drinking ways. I was brave enough to dye my hair and I like it. I hate the thought that the more life gets back to normal the more I will have to wear shoes. It’s worth it, but it will be an adjustment. I haven’t binged watch nearly as much as I could have over the last two months. I found myself having difficulty concentrating. When I stream I am drawn to children movies about talking animals. I am hoping that won’t last. I have done no creative writing except a couple of poems. I’m hoping that will change. I have not been able to sleep well. I am often fatigue. I hope that changes as well.

I want to keep my zoom time meetings with distant friends! Those have been great. Can we actually spend three hours talking about X-Files? Yes, yes we can. But we manage to talk about many other things as well. I hope Drive in theaters make a come back! I’m sad about concerts going away but I kind of hope couch tours will be embraced by far more bands. Dylan is doing original music again and Duchovny has a new novel coming out. Art continues; perhaps is made better.

I marvel at human resiliency. We all have to wear masks, so let’s start cottage industries and make them a fashion statement. What do I really want to do that I know will be delayed? Get a pedicure, hug someone tightly, go to an Isotopes game. What will I do soon that will feel normal and glorious? In June when restaurants are reopen I will spend an hour with a cup of coffee in the presence of company I enjoy.

I am the same from this time. I did not lose my quirkiness, my oddness, my stubbornness. I did not become a clean freak despite my disinfectant frenzy moments. Those will pass in time. I am still an introvert who enjoy my solitude. Even now.

I am different. While I have always struggle with a sense of balance I am more determined than ever to keep that balance going forward. That lesson I blogged about a few weeks back of keeping the structure of a weekend still lives within me. I am fine with giving up a weekend day and gaining a week day, but the need to decompress and hear myself think is stronger within me now. I think I can live in the moment better. I think I can be grateful for the air I breathe more.

Larger picture focus?

People are so worry about kids having education. Can surviving a pandemic offer no life education for these kids? Must all education be in a classroom or online?The kids will be alright. Let them breathe, learn, grow. And give them an old fashion book to read and some open space to run. Watch them be a better generation that we can ever believe.

Isn’t it amazing how clean the air is right now? Seriously, can we consider how we commute. Eat less meat, my friends.

Can we be kinder to our workforce? I fear we will take advantage of those desperate for jobs, but consider how many of our essential workers are low wage employees. Can we allow a parent with a sick kid to work from home without taking PTO? Can we become more humane? Unfortunately I see no evidence that this is our future despite the lessons of today.

I hate racism. I hate it. Because I hate racism I hate Trump more than ever. I hate the way he says China. I hate him with every fiber of my being. I have never hated a human soul more.

And I have so many Dylan lyrics in my head right now. There is one for every emotion and thought. Same with David Duchovny Gifs by the way. There is no single thought or emotion you cannot find or create a Duchovny GIF for, if you are so inclined...I digress. I do that a lot these days. Back to Dylan

This man is a genius and an enigma. After 8 years with no original music, in the middle of the pandemic, he drops a 17 minute song about the assassination of President Kennedy. Isn’t that bizarre? But he has given us three original songs now and a new album next month. Whoever is doing his social media now deserves a hug. He is communicating and expressing himself to fans. I don’t feel worthy.

These words from from thirty years ago keep rolling through my head

I am hanging in the balance of the reality of man

Like every sparrow falling

Like every grain of sand

Those words are always true. They are not more true now than they have ever been. It is only that we can understand their truth more fully now.

Keep on keepin on, my friends.

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jenni42085 · 4 years

Text

Made in the AM <Five>

Ch. 5

Louis' POV

Getting back on the swing of touring after a month off was hard. Plus being a person short was even more tiring with rearranging songs and trying to reset everything. But the second night was epic. The energy that the fans give off will instantly make you feel pumped and excited though.

After the meet and greet we all head back to the hotel. During the ride I see Liam and Alex deep in discussion about something. Niall has his head on her lap. While she runs her hands through his hair. Harry was zoned out listening to music trying to drown out them talking.

Sitting there long enough with out doing anything I decide to join in their convo. " What are you talking about?"

"Working out and stuff." Liam answers returning his attention back to Alex.

"What about it?" I ask.

Alex sighs slightly, "Niall asked why didn't I just do the weight loss surgery instead of working out. Since I was so stressed about being skinny."

"Ohh. And you don't agree with it?" I ask.

"Nah. I feel like doing that would be the easy way out with more complications than I would want to deal with. Plus hardworking never hurt anyone. You know?" she replies with honesty.

"I understand. That is good that you weighed the option before jumping into surgery like others do, but honestly you look fine."

"Nah, I'm a little pudgy and need to tone up per everyone lol. Plus get my parents off my back about my relationship status. I'm single while all my cousins my age are either married, dating, or kids. They make me feel like the reason I'm single is my weight. I'm ok with being single I just would like someone for moments when I'm sad and beat myself up. Having girlfriends who tell me I'm awesome is great but having a guy to be your cheerleader is so much better."

Liam puts an arm around her and she casually rests her head on his shoulder. "I'll always be your cheerleader. I just want you to love yourself first. You are beautiful, but if you want to tone up, I've got your back."

"Me too!" Niall and I say at the same time. I turn around in the seat and get another look at them. "You guys look like a huge cuddle pile."

"Jealous?" Niall asks lifting his head from her lap.

"That is debatable. You guys just look cozy though."

"She has magic fingers. I swear." Niall says taking her hand and putting it back into his hair.

"I think I'm spoiling him. His hair is really soft so I don't mind." Alex replies with some humor to her voice.

"So what is the plan for tonight? After you work out that is." I ask already knowing Liam and her would be working out for at least an hour. I'm still slightly amped up but I don't want to go out staying in for a hotel drinking, eating, and goofing off.

The two of them reply in unison, "Working out, then I don't know afterwards. Why? What'd you have in mind?"

"How about some chicken wings, drinks and etc" I turn the overhead light on to screen their expressions and they were all smiles. "I take that as a yes."

"You would be correct good sir." Alex replies with a horrible English accent.

"So after you work out come to my room and I'll have the food and drinks." I reply. This night is going to be fun.

*****************************************************************************************************

Liam's POV

Harry had texted us to meet him in his room before I go work out with Alex. I meet everyone in his room. "So what is with the male only meeting?"

"Well, I just wanted to say sorry for my shitty mood. More importantly sorry if I seem not myself." He replies looking seriously sincere in statement.

"No worries, we know, we are all going through issues since Zayne left, then the tour, and the album. I'm just glad Alex is around because she is affectionate and her insight to life and music helps me open up to things I wouldn't normally want to listen to or write." Niall says while stretching out on Harry's bed.

"So is she really that good?" Harry asks with an unsure look.

"Honestly, yes. When you get into her bubble you can see that she is really open about things. I really want to listen to songs she wrote for Tori. I saw her texting her about a new song she was working for her as an album bonus track." I state.

"Can I work out with you guys tonight? Maybe she'll open to me when there isn't so many people around."

"You can try but I'd but I think you'd be better off if she is a little drunk." I state calmly.

"Seriously?!? The is your brilliant idea?" Harry exclaims.

I look at him with a smirk, "Yes. Only way to get people to be nice to have have them a little drunk. Do you have any other ideas?"

"At this moment..... no"

"Well, we will make sure she is a little drunk so you two can play nice." Louis says.

*****************************************************************************************************

Alex's POV

That work out with Liam was intense. I feel so sore already but hopefully the hot shower will loosen my muscle enough to enjoy this night in with the guys. Going to try to be nicer to Harry because I don't want the entire time on this trip to be awkward or me avoiding him. While in the shower, I think on how to let the happiness I show with the others spread to Harry. It wasn't that he was a bad guy, just not one for someone to judge me with out fully knowing me but, I guess that can be said to be the same of how I am treating him.

After my shower, I smooth some Hemp lotion into my skin, braiding my braids into a Elsa from Frozen type of style. While packing my MacBook and guitar there is a knock at my door. Louis is standing there with a big smile on his face. "Are you done yet? We are waiting on you to get our party started."

"I'm coming I was just grabbing my stuff just in case inspiration hits me plus, I have to let Harry hear the song and maybe work on some other stuff." I reply.

"So are you going to give him a break?"

I put my head down at his comment then look up at him, "Yes I'm going to try. I don't want my whole trip to be awkward, but if he says anything else stupid or hurtful, there will be a throat punch in his future."

"Noted. I will hold you to it." he says with a wink.

"Why is he so worried about it?" I ask making my eyebrows raise slightly.

"He just feels bad about it because that wasn't his intention."

"Fine. Let's get something to drink." I say to him with excited expression.

"Oi! That's my girl." Louis grabs my guitar then follows me out of my room to his. We get in his room, while he is setting up the drinks and food I check my emails. Tori and I have been messaging back and forth regarding a few songs as bonus songs on her album. My heart is telling my 'Beautiful Things' will have to be on there because is it a soothing song and it is just with the guitar. The other song I haven't been quite sure on. It is has been a thing I've been playing around with, I've called it 'Dear No One'.

"Where is everyone?" I ask pulling my guitar out of its case.

Louis is pouring me a drink, "Probably late. Chances are that Niall and Harry are playing games and Liam is still is in the shower."

I take a sip of my drink, "Wow! That is strong. I'm going to need a chaser." Louis hands me some apple juice to drink with it. "Do you think they will be much longer? Tori needs another song, and I need to do a rough demo to send to her it shouldn't take long."

"What shouldn't take long?" Niall comes in with a curious expression.

"Recording a quick song for Tori to play around with. Would you do me the honors of playing the guitar while I plug the piano in so I can just do this in one take?"

"Sure! Hand her here." I hand him my guitar then sprint back to my room and grab my travel keyboard then hand Niall the music. "You named a song 'Dear No One'?" He looks over the music sheet then gives me a curious look.

A sheepish slightly embarrassed expression crosses my face, "Yes. It is a pretty good song. I think everyone will love it."

"Ok. You are the songwriter." Niall says sitting down next to me at the table.

" 'Dear No One', take one with Niall Horan on guitar." I take a deep breathe and Niall starts playing and the door flies open.

"Hey! You ready to party?" Liam was actually acting like a party animal with loose fitting gym shorts and a tight tank.

"Damnit. Liam! She was about to record." Louis shouts at him. I let a small chuckle as he hangs his head in embarrassment.

"It's ok deary. Here can you play this?" I hand him the piano version of the music.

"Yeah, are you asking me to play while you sing?"

"Well of course! Niall is on the guitar so I can just sing." I reply. He looks at the sheet music and shoots me two thumbs up. I hit the record button and close my eyes. " 'Dear No One', take two featuring Niall Horan on the guitar & Liam Payne on the piano playing......

I like being independent

Not so much of an investment

No one to tell me what to do

I like being by myself

Don't gotta entertain anybody else

No one to answer to...

But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold

Someone to give me the jacket when it's cold

Got that young love even when we're old

Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand

Pick me up, pull me close, be my man

I will love you till the end

So if you're out there I swear to be good to you

But I'm done lookin', for my future someone

Cause when the time is right

You'll be here, but for now

Dear no one, this is your love song

Ooo-OhOh

I don't really like big crowds

I tend to shut people out

I like my space, yeah

But I'd love to have a soulmate

And God'll give him to me someday

And I know it'll be worth the wait, oh

So if you're out there I swear to be good to you

But I'm done lookin' (But I'm done lookin'), for my future someone

Cause when the time is right

You'll be here, but for now

Dear no one (Dear nobody) this is your love song (Ooo-Oooh)

Sometimes, I just want somebody to hold

Someone to give me the jacket when it's cold

Got that young love even when we're old

Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand

Pick me up, pull me close, be my man

I will love you till the end

So if you're out there I swear to be good to you

But I'm done lookin' (I'm done lookin'), for my future someone (Ooo-Yeah)

Cause when the time is right

You'll be here, but for now

Dear no one (Dear Nobody) this is your love song (This is your love song)

Dear no one, no need to be searchin', no

Dear no one...

Dear No one, this is your love song." I stop singing and open my eyes to see all eyes on me. I hit the button to stop recording and look at the time, only three mins long not bad for the length of a song. A few seconds pass and no one has said anything to me. "What?"

"How do you not have a record deal?" Harry asks, while singing I guess I was so focused that I didn't hear him enter the room. "You are great. You wrote that?"

"Yeah, been on my list of things to perfect while working on song ideas. I didn't want a recording deal so I never went looking for one. I wanted Tori to accomplish her goals, so I wrote for her to express myself. So you like it?" They all nod their heads at me. "Thanks, Harry I haven't forgotten to let you listen to 'Drag Me Down' do you want to hear it now since I already have my stuff out?"

I think I asked him a little to quickly because he had a shocked expression on his face. This was me trying to be nice, even if it kills me. "Yeah, I'd love too!" While finding the file on my computer Louis hands me another drink. Normally I'm cold because I'm anemic but now I'm feeling warm peeling off the lightweight hoodie I had put on exposing me in just a pastel aqua cami to match my teal cotton capris from Old Navy. I take off my flip flops and yawn quietly.

When the song finishes Harry's expression is hard to read. "You are quite talented. I think stronger drums in there would get it a more intense feeling to it but your lyrics were great. Again sorry for being an ass."

"It's ok, as long you can see my talent and acknowledge it." I say with a bright smile, "Enough of the mushy stuff, let's drink, dance, and be merry!"

The rest of the night was composed of taken shots, drinking, and playing drinking games. Not going to lie it was nice being the only girl there. Louis decides to do some Truth or Dare which was quite fun with seeing Liam streak through the hotel lobby. Niall giving Harry a lap dance and Louis telling us his most embarrassing story ever. I was laughing at this story with tears in my eyes when he asks me "Truth or Dare?"

Feeling drunk and very brave I decide to be daring instead of a chicken, "Dare."

"Ok, I dare you to kiss Harry."

"Say what?" I ask.

"Kiss Harry. Come on. Don't be a chicken. Show us that you guys will be playing fair." Louis replies with his eyes looking glazed over from too much alcohol.

<sigh> "Do you mind Harry?" I ask feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

"Nah, I don't mind. Come here. I'll rock your world." I roll my eyes at his comment while he flashes me a cock grin exposing his dimples.

"So cocky. How do you know that I won't rock yours?" I reply feeling all that liquid courage in me. I stand up and sit on Harry's lap, he wraps his arms around my waist and it makes me blush. I hope my fat ass won't break his lap. He grins me at me reassuringly. "You ready for your first kiss from a black girl?" Before he could respond I kiss him. At first it was a few pecks then I liked his lips so much I slipped him some tongue, next thing I knew it was game on, Harry's hands were exploring my body while my fingers were going through his hair. After a few minutes I realized that I needed some air, so I pull away from him. The room was quiet but I didn't care it was a good make-out session and it has been way too long.

"Wow that was some dare." Harry says barely loosening his grip on me. I try to stand up to get something else to drink and he stops my movement, "What are you needing?"

"I wanted to make another drink and then stretch out on the couch." I suddenly feel shy about making out with him. He stands up with me in his arms, shocking me as to how strong he was. I give him a shocked expression.

"Here get comfy and I'll grab it for you." He carries me to the couch putting me down and makes me another drink eagerly.

"Well, that was interesting." Niall says as Harry joins me on the couch placing my feet in his lap.

A small chuckle escapes my mouth, "It's go big or go home right?"

"That is true. How was it Harry you look a little flustered," Liam asks playing on my guitar shooting him a big grin.

Harry sits quietly for a moment then squeezes my foot, "I rather enjoyed myself. Maybe all her hatred turned into passion." I tense up at his comment, "Just joking. I swear love. I think you are naturally a good kisser."

"Thanks. You aren't too bad. Can we play another game?"

"Sure, what do you have in mind?" Louis asks while eating some nachos.

"Twister!!" I say with a shout. "Well at this point, it will be drunken Twister so this should be more fun." Not sure what came over me, but when I got up from the couch I turned and gave Harry a quick peck then sprinted off to grab the game.

#one direction #harry styles x black reader

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strayneoculturekids · 5 years

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Jealousy - Ten x Reader

Summary: You, as an upcoming artist in America, are contacted by the one and only SM to do a collab with NCT. You immediately agree and straight away are drawn to one of the members, Ten. Little do you know, he feels the exact same way.

Idol AU, strangers to friends to lovers AU

Genre: fluff, crack

request by @am-az-ber: can you write a Ten imagine where he meets a rising singer from America/Canada and they’re doing a collab for SM station and he teaches her to dance but then he’s scared Johnny’s gonna make a move so a confession happens?

Warnings: I have no idea what I’m doing or how the music industry works

You quickly blinked, being snapped back to reality by a familiar ring tone coming from your phone. Stretching your arms, you let out a noise that sounded like a dying baby dragon before temporarily turning away from the new lyrics you had been working on to grab your phone, answering the call from your manager.

“Hey, glad you’re up”

“Why wouldn’t I be up-” You started but looked at your clock before you could finish the sentence, seeing it was almost 4am “...oh”

“Yeah. Anyways though, SM reached out to me”

“SM? As in the kpop company that’s part of the big three SM???”

“That’s the one. They want you to do a collab with the boy group NCT”

You paused, your jaw dropping. NCT? You’d been lightly following them for quite some time now and their music was incredible! They were such good dancers and their personalities were all just- wow.

“I-I’d love to do a collab with NCT!” You tried to suppress the excitement bubbling up in your throat

“Great! I’ll tell them. In the meantime though, you should get some sleep” She spoke caringly

“Ah, I will. You too though!”

“Will do. Goodnight Y/N”

With that, she hung up. You slowly placed down your phone, the biggest smile ever suddenly finding it’s way onto your face and you low-key started doing a happy dance in your chair. It was really awesome you’d be doing a collab with NCT! Your one worry though was dancing...hey, maybe you wouldn’t have to? After you had finally calmed down and the initial buzz in your brain had washed over a bit, the exhaustion from the past few nights had finally set in. It seemed like it was only when you realized the time that you were actually tired.

Getting up from your chair, you looked around your studio, deciding you’d just sleep on the couch for today since driving in your current state would be too much of a risk.

As soon as you plopped yourself down on the couch and your head hit the cushions, you were out.

About nine hours had passed and you were so rudely awoken from whatever you would call sleeping from 4am to 1pm by your phone, a recognizable tune playing from it. You groggily got up, rubbing your eyes and going to your desk where you had left your phone, answering your manager yet again.

“NCT is coming tomorrow,” she said, seeming extremely slightly panicked

“Tomorrow?! That’s so soon!!” Hearing her words along with her panicked voice when she was usually calm sent you into a frenzy as well

“I know! But they’re coming to us so it shouldn’t really be a problem?” She said, sounding as though she was trying to convince herself of the statement

“Ok, ok. They’re coming to this building?” you asked, referring to the building your studio was in; also the building you were currently in

“Yeah, we’ll gather in the lobby at around midday tomorrow” she paused, taking in a breath “Also, you need to learn the dance for the title song”

you almost choked on your spit “The whole thing?!”

“Yeah...one of the members will be teaching you after we make the song and they make the choreo. Oh, also you and NCT are going to write the whole album together” You could hear a strained smile in her voice, it seemed like she felt just as pained as you with all this sudden new information

“I- writing lyrics with 21 other people?”

“You’ll be doing collabs with each individual group...NCT Dream only has one English speaker so it could be difficult but...let’s hope it turns out ok”

“Oh, my goshhhhhhh” you breathed, rubbing your eyes once again “Ok, this is fine. I’m uh...I’m gonna go home and get ready for tomorrow, see you then and take care!” you pumped your fist for encouragement, mostly to yourself

“Will do, good luck” and with that, she hung up

Letting out a large breath, you got up, grabbing your keys and walking out of your studio, beginning to walk out of the building to your car. You drove a couple minutes and finally made it to your house; you got inside and immediately went up to your room, flopping down on your bed and breathing out, it was almost felt like you were deflating.

You lay there about a minute, face down before getting up and grabbing a pair of undies, a pair of sweatpants, a shirt and an oversized hoodie and heading into the bathroom.

You planned to just take a quick shower but it ended up turning into an hour-long mess complete with fake arguments, comebacks you could’ve said in 2012, ten minutes of dissociating and one mental breakdown.

“Well,” you said, stepping out of the shower “That was refreshing”

As soon as you had gotten changed and walked back into your bedroom, your phone rang yet again. you sighed, shoulders slumping slightly before picking up the phone, seeing it wasn’t a contact you had saved.

“Hello?” you greeted, making it sound more like a question

“Hey! Is this Y/N L/N?” The caller seemed to be male with a thick American accent

“This is she,” you said slowly

“Oh, Hi! This is Johnny Seo! From NCT”

“Oh! Johnny! Nice to talk to you” you smile despite knowing he couldn’t see you

“Same goes! your manager gave me your number, I hope you don’t mind?”

“Oh! It’s fine” You assured

“Cool, cool. I was just wondering, you don’t have any dancing experience, right?”

“Uh- I do know the very basics but that’s about it”

“Cool! Just making sure, you do know one of our members, Ten, will be teaching you the dance, right?”

right then right there, is when your soul left your body. Ten’s dancing skills never ceased to amaze you. Someone of his skill teaching someone of yours? It seemed...impossible

“Uh, yeah! Thanks for telling me, Johnny”

“No problem-” There was a pause and a muffled call of what seemed to be Johnny’s name “I’ve gotta go now, it was nice talking to you!”

“You too!” you said right before he hung up

You placed the phone down, pursing your lips. Learning the entire dance seemed completely unrealistic but...you supposed it was ok to trust your manager and Ten.

I should probably work out you thought to yourself, groaning out loud and reluctantly getting changed into workout clothes.

Sunlight peaked through your windows the next day and the very first thing you noticed was the aching muscles everywhere in your body. You grunted, sitting up and massaging some of the areas that seemed to hurt more

Finally, you gathered enough strength to stand up and stretch, only causing your muscles to hurt more.

“fuck meee” you whined, hating yourself for not stretching properly right after your workout yesterday

You eventually stopped wallowing in self-pity and checked the clock. You had about four hours before you had to leave to meet NCT. Quickly, you went into your closet, putting on an outfit you had been planning out in your head. You groaned when you saw it looked way worse than you had thought. Pursing your lips, you took it off and started searching your closet.

A couple of hours passed and you were finally ready to leave. You sighed, grabbing your things and walking out the door, mentally preparing yourself to meet NCT.

The entire drive there, you were fidgeting; tapping your fingers up against the wheel, biting your lip, whatnot really. Eventually arriving at the building, you took in a deep breath before seeing your manager waiting for you at the door. Your eyes widened before you hastily got out of your car, doing a little run up to her.

“Am I late?! Is NCT all here already??”

“It’s fine,” She laughed “They’re here, but you’re not late. Calm down and let’s go inside.”

You nodded taking in a deep breath and entering the building along with your manager. She led you to the room NCT was supposedly gathered in and the moment you stepped in, you were completely overwhelmed. The crowd was much bigger than you expected and the members alone looked like it was far more than 21 people.

As soon as they noticed you, they all immediately bowed, greeting you altogether; it was like some sort of telekinesis, they just knew what to do when to do it, actually, it was very intimidating.

“Oh! uh- hi I’m...I’m Y/N!” you said, bowing in return, smiling up at them

You looked over to your manager, hoping she’d tell you what to do next but she had been dragged off by NCT’s manager and the other staff. Before you could say anything else, Johnny stepped forward

“Hi Y/N, it’s nice to meet you in person,” He said smiling, putting his hand out to shake yours

you gladly excepted his hand “It’s nice to meet you too, Johnny!”

“Do you know all our members?”

“Oh, yes! I’ve actually been following you guys for a while” You looked over all the members, making eye contact with some of them and smiling sweetly

They all subconsciously smiled when they hear your words, some of the members even becoming a bit bashful. One member caught your eye, Ten, he was radiating with confidence. You two made eye contact and held it for a few seconds, his smile shining brighter than you could ever think. You blushed and finally turned away, looking back to Johnny.

A few minutes passed and all the fluent English speakers had branched off from the rest of the group along with you while the others engaged in their own conversations. You felt slightly bad that you weren’t able to speak in their first language to the Korean and Chinese members but you were pretty sure they were much better at English than you were at Korean.

“So,” Jaehyun started “We’ll be making the entire album together?”

“That’s my understanding, do you guys normally write your own songs?” you asked

“We have a say in the lyrics, but usually don’t write the entire thing” Mark spoke up

“Oh, but we wrote most of the lyrics for Dear Dream,” Chenle said to which Mark nodded to

“Oh my gosh, Dear Dream almost made me cry” You blurted out “Also, Mark, what the heck was Drippin’?” You were beginning to let a bit of your fangirl-side show

“uH-”

“MOVING ON” Johnny interjected, looking like he was seconds away from bursting out laughing

“Yeah,” Ten said, snickering, trying to calm himself down before he continued “Anyways, I’ll be teaching you the dance for the 2019, the WayV, the U, and possibly the Dream and 127 songs, if not though, Chenle and Johnny will teach you those two.”

“Wait...I have to learn the dance to all the title songs” You asked, mouth agape

“Yeah? You didn’t know?” Ten’s expression became slightly panicked along with yours

“I didn’t! What?! I can barely dance in the first place!”

Yangyang placed a comforting hand on your shoulder “It’s ok! Ten is a capable teacher!”

You nodded slowly, trying to calm your nerves, still processing the entire situation.

A couple months had passed since then and you’d been working your ass off with each of the units, writing the lyrics, sticking to concepts, way more than you’d normally have to do. Of course, NCT all helped you but they were less on writing the lyrics and more on choreographing for the five title songs. By this time, only three of them had been finished, 127′s, Dream’s, and WayV’s. Ten had also been working especially hard, it was later decided that just having one dance teacher would be easier for you so he had to learn an extra two choreo’s than he would usually.

Finally, after another few months, you and the members had finished writing and choreographing the five title songs, meaning that you, unfortunately, had to start learning the dances now.

“So...you put your arm out like this and bring your body forwa-”

Before Ten could do the move, the door to the dance studio opened, revealing a smiling Johnny. Ten glared at him, watching as he entered the room and went straight up to you.

Usually, Ten and Johnny would get along incredibly well, even considering themselves best friends. Over the past few months though, Johnny had been getting very close to you and it was starting to annoy Ten. He usually brushed it off as being annoyed that Johnny kept interrupting your learning but lately, Ten had been noticing how he himself blushes around you and the small little feeling he gets in the bottom of his stomach every time he stares just a bit too long at your beautiful features. He couldn’t have been jealous though, no. Ten knows Johnny wouldn’t make a move on you and besides, even if he did...it didn’t matter, right? Ten just saw you as a close friend...probably.

“How are you guys doing?” Johnny asked, his usual bright smile on his face

“We’re doing good,” Ten said curtly

You and Johnny exchanged quick glances at Ten’s annoyed tone. He couldn’t be mad though...Ten has never gotten mad before, he always seemed to be in a happy mood; literally just a few seconds ago, Ten was smiling and caringly teaching you choreography.

“Ten, are you ok?” You asked curiously

“I’m Fine.”

“Ah, I should be going now, you guys should wrap up soon too, it’s getting late,” Johnny said before getting up, waving a bit and leaving the room

“Ten, what’s up?”

“Nothing. We should wrap up now like Johnny said, go take a shower. I’ll leave, cya.” He gathered his things and continued to leave the room, not even giving you a glance

Ten knew it was unfair that he was taking out some of his anger on you, you did nothing wrong, after all, you weren’t the one that fell in love with him.

Another couple of months went by and Johnny was constantly checking up on you two, aggravating Ten even further. So much so that Ten finally admitted to himself that it was jealousy. He was annoyed at Johnny, but also at himself. Partly for falling in love with you and partly for taking it out on his best friend; he just seemed to not be able to help it, it was new to Ten, usually, he was in full control of his emotions.

“Do that one more time” He instructed, leaning forward to study your movements better “Try to make it more powerful...like go forward harder. Once you perfect this move, we’ll take a break?” He said, noticing how tired you looked

You nodded and began to redo the move. A couple minutes and Ten was finally satisfied. You immediately plopped down on the spot, catching the towel Ten threw to you and wiping your sweat.

“I’ll go fill up your water bottle, be right back. “Good work!” He smiled while leaving the room

You smiled tiredly back. As soon as Ten had left, you heard the door click again, turning around to see Johnny carrying a plastic bag full of take-out.

“Hey Y/N! Where’s Ten?”

“Gone to go get water,” You said, swallowing your spit, still not having had caught your breath fully

“You two haven’t had dinner yet, right? I brought some take-out.” Johnny said, sitting down, placing the bag in front of you

“Thanks, Johnny” You smiled gratefully, only now noticing how hungry all the dancing had made you

“So anyway-”

Before he could finish, the door clicked open again, Ten coming in. He flinched when he saw Johnny, clenching his teeth slightly.

“Hey.” He said shortly

You frowned. It wasn’t hard to see he’d been acting hostile towards Johnny lately. You thought of it being jealousy but brushed it off as you just hoping he’d like you back. Maybe something happened between them? Although, Johnny seemed completely fine with Ten.

“I brought take out for you two,” Johnny said, smiling still

“Oh...thanks” Ten paused, taking a deep breath in, having to remind himself that Johnny meant no harm in getting so close to you and he was still his best friend

“It’s getting quite late, I’m gonna head back, don’t work yourselves too far into the nigh-...er- morning,” Johnny said sweetly, getting up and leaving you two alone

“Ten...” you started once Johnny had left “What’s been up with you? It’s obvious you’ve been acting hostile towards Johnny”

He looked into your eyes, seeing that there was no lying his way out of this.

“I- I just think you two are getting...very close...”

“Ten...are you jealous?” You asked plainly

he hesitated, not wanting to admit his own defeat.

“...yes, I am...I love you Y/N.” He said, trying to not let his shyness show through

You covered your mouth with your hand, smiling brightly.

“I love you too” You ran up to him, giving him a large hug

His usual bright smile returned to his face, though, this one seemed even better than any of the others you’d ever seen before

BONUS

Ten clapped his heart out once you’d finished the choreography, covering his mouth and making his eyes begin to water like the extra bitch he is.

“I learned all the choreography!” You said excitedly, out of breath from doing five intense choreos in a row

“I’m so proud of you! Now you need to learn it with the rest of the groups”

You sighed, dropping to your knees, pretending to be wallowing in self-pity

“Go take a shower, it’s late and you’re all sweaty” Ten laughed

“Yeah, yeah” you said, getting up and walking out, leaving Ten standing in the room alone

“Wow, I really love her” Ten mumbled to himself

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