#I’m not saying dems shouldn’t try a little harder to balance the needs of different parts of the base

[imunbreakabledude]

one of the funniest political sentiments to me, which has been even more prevalent than usual since this last us presidential election cycle, is the one that goes like this: “democrats can’t just expect us all to FALL IN LINE and vote for a MODERATE just because that’s the candidate the DNC wants. It’s INSULTING to expect us to vote for any dem candidate just because they’re not a Republican. They need to put up candidates who are further left!”

because like. Okay. Let’s say the democrats did as these people asked and put up a presidential candidate who is significantly further to the left. The people expressing these sentiments would feel excited to vote for that candidate. Many other people who either refused to vote for Harris (or did so reluctantly) would be excited to vote for this candidate. I would be excited myself!

but hmm, what about the people who prefer more moderate policies themselves? who don’t like the move to the left? Are they supposed to just … wait for it… fall in line and vote for the candidate who’s not that close to their own politics just because it’s not a Republican?

… yea I know this is an oversimplication but like it is wiiiiild to me to see how many stances are like “if the democrats just did exactly what I personally wanted, then they would’ve won!” As if everyone in the country (or at least everyone who is not a die hard Republican) clearly wants the exact same (left/progressive) things they do. When that is so demonstrably not the case.

I 100% get anger with the two party system, but that is the system we currently live in. this complaining about “falling in line” or dems not working hard enough to “earn” everyone’s vote are kinda childish and willfully ignorant of reality imo. No one’s forcing you to “fall in line”. You literally get to decide how to use your vote! you are not expected to do anything different than every other American with the right to vote, which is: vote for whichever candidate you think is the best option for the office!

there are lots of issues & lots of valid important strategies to address them (like paying attention to primaries and local elections, for one). but having both a detachment from the reality that a strong majority of Americans are conservative or moderate, and a firm belief that you won’t compromise on a candidate who is less than ideal for you while also expecting millions of other people to compromise on a candidate who isn’t ideal for THEM, is bonkers to me.

then again I think most people who say stuff like this actually believe that over 50% of the country is actually super progressive and just somehow magically that doesn’t manifest in national elections… “cuz the dnc hates Bernie” or whatever.

[relaxandlaughatyourself]

Recap of Ika’s IG Live - October 16, 2018

Mostly talk of relationships. She seems to be incredibly happy and it is clear that her and Dem are in a good place and are happy.

She just got in. Today she had two events. One was a cannabis event, she’ll post a pic from that, and then she had a L'Oreal event. She explained that she has to wait until the cannabis pic is approved so she can post and then she will post the l’oreal stories. She went to them alone, but met a few people she knew at the cannabis event.

She wore clipins today and is trying to figure out how to style her natural hair because it’s growing back in.

She needs advice on a good hair clipin company. She wants to try to avoid making them herself, but she may have to do it.

To the fan she told she would send the lipstick to, she hasn’t done that yet, but she’s going to do it and include l’oreal stuff she got today too.

Comment is any tips for co-parenting with a Caribbean man? Co-parenting is difficult with anyone, she doesn’t have any tips.

She doesn’t think she would do The Challenge, the only reality tv show she loves is BB. The Challenge seems too catty and too much. She would absolutely not do Survivor.

She thinks she should shoot a video of showmance advice post show, even though everyone’s experiences are different. There are some dos and don’ts. She sees some of the showmances making the same mistakes she did and she wishes they wouldn’t do that.

Comment is are you glad you were in a showmance? “Yes, but you make it seem like it was a TV thing. I’m glad I met Demetres on BB, but it wasn’t just a show relationship. It’s a relationship.”

She notes that when people leave BB they go through a wave of emotion and they’re not prepared for it.

An example of a don’t for showmances. Don’t put too much on social media, save some stuff for yourself. “Demetres and I did save a lot of stuff for ourselves, but there’s some stuff I wish we were more private about.” She says be careful with that. In her relationship with Dem, what they show us is about 25% or less of their entire relationship, and it was kinda cringe for her. When they started youtube, that was harder for her, Dem is a bit more open and it wasn’t as hard for him. The little they do show she struggles with, Dem doesn’t care. If it was up to Dem, there would be 2/3 videos a week. The 25% or less that we know is: we know they’re together, where they live, when they’re travelling, certain other things like pics and such. She doesn’t post what gifts he’s given her, or where he’s taken her, or what he says to her or does, and vice versa.

She went back and watched their old youtube videos, and she’s getting a feel for what she doesn’t mind. She doesn’t mind the who’s most likely to, the hair ones, stuff like that. She doesn’t like the stuff that gets more personal, but she knows you need to be personal to connect on youtube so she has to find the balance.

What does she think of the pranks he does on her? “I think they suck lol.” She says that in their everyday lives they try to “prank” each other, but not like in youtube prank type of way. The dollar store thing is Demetres, they’ll scare each other. He’ll send her a message that he needs to talk to her, he has something really important to tell her, and her mind races, “But he just says ‘I want to say I love you so much.’” At the beginning of the lyric prank she was worried, but then realized it wasn’t a conversation. She wished she had her camera so she could’ve recorded her whole reaction.

She says they do want to be consistent with youtube and they will put stuff up and explain a bit, but we need to be patient and wait a bit more.

For perfume she uses Flower Bomb.

She goes on talking about Beyonce a bit and her fav songs. She loves You Are My Rock, that’s one of her favorites.

When it comes to a love story, you have to love your own love story more than any other love story, you can’t be wanting what others have. For her, “I love my own love story, no one has a better love story.”  You should be so invested in what you have, you shouldn’t want what someone else has and if you do, you may not be happy in your relationship. “It doesn’t matter what we went through, and we went through some stuff, we had a bunch of stuff thrown at us, and I don’t know how we got through it but we did. And through all that stuff, I never saw what other’s had and wanted that. I always feel like I have the best guy, no one compares to him, and I want our relationship to be amazing for us. We’ve both never been like that. Even when things aren’t the best, it may not be the best, but you still choose it. The kind of love I’ve got from Dem and vice versa, I don’t see anybody where I wish I had something else.” Relationships are work, and it’s not something one person can do. If that person’s happiness means the most, if that person isn’t happy, you can’t sleep. Your emotions and feelings are wrapped up in someone else.

She notes that she was single for a long time, she knows what it’s like to be single, to be in relationships where you’re just comfortable, to not know any better that that is not love. But she now knows what love is.

She says you will hit rough patches and other people will test the relationship, but if you have trust and know that the other person loves you beyond words, and know it wouldn’t be the same with anyone else you’ll be okay. She says that she knows she can curse out Dem and not talk to him for a week, and she knows he wouldn’t cheat and vice versa, that’s the kind of trust she has in him. Don’t listen to the people who tell you something else. Anything can test your relationship, and you need to want to get back to the loving, healthy place, your comfort place. If you’re constantly in a place of turmoil and arguing, you can’t see what you had, and should probably get out. There shouldn’t be constant arguing over everything, and if so, unhappiness becomes your comfort place and that’s not good. “You have to be so in love with someone that when something challenges your relationship, you just want to get back to the love and your comfort zone where you’re laughing and having fun.” Make sure your comfort zone is filled with love and happiness and beautiful things, and make sure it’s healthy.

You need to want the best for your person, and vice versa. If there are outside people trying to challenge that, it’ll be hard at first, but those people will end up on the outside.

Ika says that if she ever argues with someone about dishes or clothes, it’s actually about something else.

She ends it to post her picture and because people are having fun with her and she’s trying to give sus all advice (it’s all laughter).