#I’m not saying ‘so reproduce with your family members it’s probably fine!’ like. don’t do that. but I’m just saying.

[lilnasxvevo]

Btw my probably unpopular opinion is that CQL JGY DID NOT kill Jin Rusong because he admitted to every other terrible crime he committed including killing his own father and killing his sworn brother so why wouldn’t he admit to killing his own son???

He doesn’t say to Qin Su that he killed Rusong, only something along the lines of “He would have had to die anyway,” and he doesn’t say anything to Lan Xichen about killing Rusong

MOREOVER, if there was any evidence that he was behind Rusong’s death, don’t you think Nie Huaisang would have found it and dragged it into the light? Do you really think Huaisang would have flinched away from going that far after everything else he did to expose JGY’s crimes? Do you think Huaisang, who had ten YEARS to plan everything, just went “Nah, I have enough evidence” and didn’t BOTHER to look into Rusong’s death???

No. The only explanation is that Nie Huaisang looked, and found nothing. And judging from the rest of Huaisang’s stellar detective work, that’s because there wasn’t anything to find.

Is that because Jin Guangyao covered up all the evidence? I don’t think so.

However. I also think that the reason he didn’t lean too hard into “Of course I didn’t kill my son!” as a way to defend himself was that he was, as he alluded to during his showdown with Qin Su, somewhere around 50% committed to killing Rusong at some point—his enemies just got there first.

I think he was keeping a close eye on Rusong’s development and I think that if Rusong showed any sign of physical or intellectual disability that Jin Guangyao was going to get rid of him as quickly as possible.

As a side note, I will remind everyone that Jin Guangyao’s motive for wanting to get rid of Rusong was not “to cover up the incest”—he was quite confident he could keep that covered up indefinitely, as anyone who knew the truth knew that it would be basically suicide to go public with what they knew. Bicao only agrees to go public when she has secured the protection of two—TWO!!!—different leaders of two different Great Sects. That’s how dangerous she knows this secret is.

Instead, Jin Guangyao’s reason for wanting to kill Rusong to hide any disability or deformity he might have was that it would encourage people to say that Jin Guangyao had dirty/tainted/inferior blood and that’s why his son was inferior. This doesn’t really…make sense to the modern person, but it isn’t a crazy prediction for JGY to make, that people would say such things. It WOULD be kind of nuts to say “oh if Rusong is disabled then people will suspect his parents are half-siblings,” because there are about a billion more likely reasons why someone would have a genetic/congenital problem than incest, so it’s really unlikely that the rumor mill would ever think of that or that such a rumor would gain any ground.

[one-boring-person]

I saw requests were open. So I have an angst idea. The boys (tog/sep, up to you) have been seeing fem!reader. They like her, she doesn’t know what they are, but she’s fun, & someone they can be real with, but it’s not far enough to be a “relationship”. Then, they don’t see her for a week or so. They get worried, then she approaches them & says she wants to talk, privately. When alone, she tells them she’s pregnant, she doesn’t know what to do. (Pt.1)

(Sorry, I haven't quite figured out whether or not I can add multiple asks to a post or not yet, so I've just screenshotted them and put them here😅) I hope you enjoy this!❤💛💛

I Should've Known.

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: implied sexual themes, one use of bad language, pregnancy

Masterlist.

"Would you stop fidgeting? You're driving me insane!" David snaps at the lanky blonde to his right, sending an icy glare at him as he does so. In response, Paul snaps his teeth and clenches his fists together, trying his hardest not to bounce on the balls of his feet, head cast downwards in a sulking manner.

"I'm sorry, I'm just on edge!" The blonde vampire whines back, pulling a joint from his pocket, followed by his lighter, which he then uses to ignite the tip.

"We all are, but do you see us running mini-marathons on the spot all night?" The platinum blonde leader growls back, tossing the butt of his own cigarette on the floor and crushing it out, adjusting his gloves as he does so, Dwayne and Marko agreeing as they watch the crowd move past.

"Yeah, at this rate I reckon you'd be able to outrun the world's best." Marko remarks, yelping as Paul gives him a clip round the ear.

"She's been gone a week, don't you think I have a reason for being like this?" The vampire complains miserably, taking a drag from the joint in his hand, slowly exhaling the smoke into the air and watching it disperse, lips pulled into a tight line. The others remain quiet, equally as worried and concerned as each other, all four pairs of eyes looking out over the hordes of people, searching for one peron: (Y/n).

They'd met her a few months back, having been enraptured by her good looks and fun personality, instantly making the decision to befriend her, enjoying her company more than they do each other's. She met with them every night, never questioning why they couldn't meet up with her during the day, accepting that they live in a cave, where she started spending a lot of her nights, drinking and partying with them until the sun comes up, her personality only exaggerated by the alcohol in her system. It was during one of these parties that their relationship became slightly more intimate, the drunkenness and buzz from Paul's cannabis having loosened inhibitions, resulting in something that none of them ever thought might occur: a one night stand.

Between all of them.

A month later, and she hasn't shown up to the Boardwalk in a week, having made no contact with them whatsoever, her house appearing empty when they'd gone to visit it, hoping to catch her. Nerves had run rampant when they'd seen this, the four of them quickly becoming stressed and panicked about what might've happened to her, until they realised she probably went to stay with a family member, though it is odd that she didn't say anything to them.

"Hey, that's her over there, isn't it?" Dwayne suddenly speaks up, nodding his head towards the entrance to the Boardwalk, where a familiar figure is pushing through the crowd in their direction.

"It is." David confirms, pushing off his position against the motorcycle to stand upright, hands in his pocket, jaw set as he watches (Y/n) approach them.

Rather than the usual cheery smile and joking greeting, she strides up to them with a tense stance, her lip clamped between her teeth, face slightly paler than normal. As Paul catches sight of her, he rushes forwards, swooping her up into his arms, crushing her tightly against his chest, only to pull away slightly when she only lightly pats him on the back, allowing her to pull away again. Slowly, she turns to look back at them, eyes filled with worry, muscles rigid.

"You alright, (Y/n)? You don't look too well." Dwayne observes, frowning as he looks her over.

"I'm fine. Can I talk to you guys? Somewhere more private?" She responds quietly, looking uneasy as she shifts from foot to foot, doing a very good impression of exactly what Paul was doing a few minutes before.

"Of course." David agrees, brow furrowed slightly as he leads the way onto the beach, walking a little way out where there are no other people, stopping a few metres from the water. Following on, the rest of them form a small circle around (Y/n), anxious to figure out why she's been avoiding them, the four of them watching her carefully.

It takes her a couple of seconds to say anything, but when she does, a ripple of disbelief and shock washes over the boys.

"I don't really know the best way to tell you guys this, and I've been trying to figure that out all week, but I think you should know that I'm pregnant." She rushes the end of the sentence, the others almost not catching it as she hastily looks down again, wringing her hands together.

They remain silent, minds trying to process what they've heard.

"...pardon?" Dwayne finally manages out, dark eyes wide.

"I'm pregnant." (Y/n) repeats, more clearly, concern racing through her as she considers their reactions, lip almost bleeding from how hard she's biting it.

Another round of silence ensues, during which David becomes increasingly more tense, his anger almost radiating off of him in waves, Paul and Marko exchanging glances as they notice, though the two blondes are just as shocked as their counterparts.

"Whose is it, (Y/n)? Who have you been sleeping around with?" The platinum blonde eventually spits out, voice laced with venom and scorn as his blue eyes seem to bore into her, disguising the hurt running rampant in his head; he'd thought they were closer than that. After all, he didn't just sleep with anyone.

"Who have I...? I've not "been sleeping around" with anyone! It's your child! Or one of yours, anyway!" She has the decency to look offended, though the blonde vampire is still not convinced, scoffing disdainfully at her, knowing this to be impossible, a fact she can't know.

"Yeah, sure. Tell the truth, (Y/n). Who was it?" He presses, muscles tightening as if trying to restrain himself, expression turning icy.

"It was one of you!" She exclaims, earnestly, "I've not slept with anyone but you guys in the last year and I reckon I would've shown by now if it was the last guy!"

She sighs to herself before continuing, seemingly gathering her thoughts together, unaware of the confusion and uncertainty brewing in her friends.

"Look, I'm not expecting you all to drop everything and leave your lives behind for this, but I thought you at least deserved to know about it. I'm sorry that it's happened, but it has. I'll see you around."

With that, she walks off, tears streaming down her cheeks, not expecting the hostility she was met with, hands pulling at her sleeves, teeth still digging into her lip. Behind her, the boys remain silent, shock still rendering two of them speechless, the other two swiftly exchanging glowers, dark eyes keeping hard contact with icy ones.

"What the hell was that for?!" Dwayne snaps at David once (Y/n) is completely out of earshot, rounding on his leader with a snarl, eyes flashing dangerously in the darkness.

"You know full well that we can't reproduce, so she's obviously been sleeping around with someone!" David growls back, standing up to the taller vampire authoritatively.

"And how the hell is she supposed to know that? You could be a little less aggressive when talking to her! Why are you getting annoyed anyway? I thought she was only a friend!" Dwayne spits out, referring to their conversation earlier in the month, where they'd all decided not to make a move on her.

"Things change, Dwayne." The leader bites back, hating to admit his newfound weakness: (Y/n), "I'm gonna go talk to Max. He should have some answers."

The three others agree to accompany him, Paul and Marko seemingly still in shock as they trail behind, neither if them saying anything the entire trek to Max's video store, not even sparing Maria a second glance when they traipse into the shop itself. Instantly, Max notices their arrival and scowls at them, going to say his usual line, only to stop when he notices the new attitude of the usually rowdy coven.

"What do you want?" He inquires as they approach him, eyeing them reproachfully.

"A word in private, if you wouldn't mind." Davis does nothing to sugarcoat his voice, the tone still as frosty as before.

Max nods after a minute, leading them to a backroom, where he kicks out the staff lingering there and locks the door behind them, turning to face the boys as he finishes, taking in their appearances with a curious eye.

"What do you need?" He finally asks, waiting for them to respond.

"Is there any chance that we can reproduce?" The platinum blonde puts it bluntly, face completely expressionless as he watches Max for a reaction.

"Reproduce? Why?" The head vampire sounds confused, before realisation sets in, "You think you got someone pregnant."

None of them reply to that, not willing to go into any detail with him, despite coming to him for help, Paul starting to shift on his feet again, having finally recovered enough to do so.

"It's very rare, but there have been cases of vampires getting humans pregnant. In the past, if a woman ever conceived a vampire's child, it was because of some unnatural occurrence, and the child always came out as a hybrid - half vampire, half human. I'm not entirely sure how it happens, but it seems that it's not as unlikely as I originally thought. I guess I should probably have given you guys The Talk." Max jokes towards the end, though he is very much aware of the effect his words have had on the boys, the prospect of having gotten someone pregnant never something that occurred to them at all.

"How...how can you tell?" Dwayne inquires, quietly.

"Tell what? That she's pregnant? Most women usually got the same symptoms as with a regular pregnancy, but with the addition of cravings for raw meat, and pretty violent mood swings. At this time, the woman needs someone to look after her properly and thoroughly."

They don't learn much else from Max, parting ways with him pretty soon after with the simple words "stick around for the child, you'll enjoy it", quickly deciding that (Y/n) had to be told about her new predicament. Finding their motorcycles, they kick them into gear and speed off onto the roads, hoping that she'll be back at her own home, making it easier to find her. The ride there is silent for once, each of them considering the same thing: whether or not to stick around, and what the pros of both options are. With these in mind, they pull up to (Y/n)'s house, noting that the lights are on inside, meaning that it is occupied.

"How are we gonna do this?" Marko speaks up for the first time since (Y/n) found them on the Boardwalk, voice uncertain as he climbs off the motorcycle, thumb between his teeth as soon as he's on solid ground again.

"No clue." David admits aloud, leading the way to the door, where he raps three times, the sound ringing out clearly in the house.

It takes a moment, but soon the wood is pulled back from the frame and a surprised face peers through, eyes red and blotchy, clearly having dried a long while, the sight striking a chord inside all four of them, Paul instantly getting the urge to wrap her in a tight hug. He remains still, choosing not to invade her personal space as they ask to be invited inside, going to the lounge where they can sit on the sofa, facing (Y/n), who takes a seat on an armchair opposite them. Once in place, they explain everything, watching as her face creases in disbelief, then anger, then resignation. As they finish, all she does is roll her eyes, chuckling dryly into her hand as it drags down her face.

"I should've known." Is all she says, cupping her face in her hands.

Confused, the four vampires look at each other, not quite understanding her gist.

"What do you mean?" Paul questions, leg bouncing nervously.

"I mean that I should've known you boys would make some stupid excuse." She snaps, standing and walking to the adjoining kitchen, where she pours herself a glass of water, "I should've seen it coming. But then, I didn't think you'd be so blatantly rude about it, either."

The boys are speechless for the second time that night, trying to figure out what to do as she continues.

"If you didn't want to be around, you should just have said. You didn't have to lie about the whole situation to me."

"We're not making an excuse, everything we've told you is true." David informs her, standing and going over to her, as if approaching a wild animal.

"Sure it is."

With one last sigh, David carefully morphs his face into the terrifying features of his natural state, eyes blazing yellow, fangs pushing out from under his upper lip, brow more defined than before, the appearance giving (Y/n) a chill of unease and fear as she sees it.

"Believe me now?" The platinum blonde inquires, cocking his head to the side.

"Well, shit." Is all she says, eyes wide, muscles rigid as she watches the vampire return to his usual countenance, swallowing nervously.

"I know this is a lot for you to take in, but we thought we'd come here to tell you that, if you want us to, we're more than happy to help out with the child." Dwayne reassures her from the sofa, dark eyes warm and kind as he watches her.

"Please, we'd like to help." David admits, the four of them having made the collective decision on the ride up, especially when they realised that they had hated being apart from her.

"If you can help me understand what the hell is going on, then sure, I'll take any help i can get."

[jessiebanethedragon]

Scuttle (4/?)

Big thanks to all those reading this!!!! hope you enjoy part four ❤️ 

also warning of talk about Hutt reproduction for comedic purposes (sorry...)

You wake to the sound of a very angry sniper. And even though his default setting is angry, he seems more perturbed than usual. Muffled voices can be heard from outside the small bunk area that you’ve already made your personal space. Wet, destroyed clothes sit on the floor in the corner and you’re wrapped only in Crosshairs blanket, save for your undergarments. You swing your legs over and plant them on the cold metal floor.  As you reach the door, the  voices become clearer.

“Absolutely not.”  - That's Crosshair for sure, only he would be so blunt. 

“I wasn't asking for your permission Crosshair, only your opinion.” The other voice is more of a long sigh at this point. The exhaustion and caring sound to it tells you it’s Hunter. For clones they are all remarkably different, you think to yourself. 

“Yeah and my opinion is ‘no’.” Crosshair snaps. 

“The seppies will come after her whether you like it or not.” He counters. 

“Which is why we can’t take her into bounty hunter territory!” You freeze as you realize they mean you. Panic settles in when you come to terms with the idea of being ditched on some degenerate planet with non resources whatsoever. You retreat back into the bunk, pulling the blanket closer to your frame. 

“Just get her up.” Hunter finishes and you hear him walk back down the halfway of the ship. Crosshair grumbles something about not being in charge of you before the door slides open. He’s shocked to see you sitting up and awake, and his eyes rest on the pile of clothes on the floor before meeting yours. His blanket looks far better on you than it has in all his years of owning it.

“Food’s up.” He says before turning to leave. Less time spent interacting with you the better. Means less time for him to stare at the one exposed shoulder that the blanket has fallen off of and less time to wonder if you’d ever spare someone like him a second glance. 

“Where are you dumping me?” He hears a small voice ask. And all the warmth leaves his body. 

“We aren't…” He starts, not turning around. Because if he doesn’t turn around he can claim ignorance if you're crying or not. 

“I heard you and Hunter and i’m not stupid.” You interrupt him, voice void of any emotion. 

“Then you'd know i'm not going to let him do that.” He snaps, almost angry at you for thinking he’d leave you on your own. 

“I’m deadweight, aren't I?” It's a question you know the answer to but have to ask anyways. You want to scream at the republic, for using your intel and then throwing you away. Taking advantage of your selflessness and empathy, just like they take advantage of  the clones caring and giving nature at every opportunity. 

“You’re not deadweight.” Crosshair states, leaving no room for argument, “You just need to be somewhere off the grid for a while.” He hears you stand, and slowly he turns his head, his blanket bunched awkwardly around your frame. His jaw clenches as his heart pulls at strings he swore weren't there. 

“Crosshair…” You start, but don’t continue, words escape you, the right ones don’t exist in that moment. Or at least you can't bring yourself to use the ones you want to. So instead, you opt to blankly stare at the metal floor. He will leave eventually, turn and head out the door. You’re not his problem, your brain explains this as the floor becomes more and more interesting.  Except he doesn't go. And the very tips of his fingers meet your chin, gently pulling your head to meet his glance.  

God his eyes are stunning, you think, before cursing your brain for being in the totally wrong place at the wrong time. But his eyes might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen. Light brown with hints of ashy tones. 

“I won't leave you on your own.” He tells you, but what you want to hear is that he will stay with you. You're already inexplicably attached to the sniper, it's unbearable. 

“Thank you.” You whisper to him breathless just from being this close to him. 

“Now come on, or Wrecker will have eaten everything before you even get out there.” Crosshair cocks his head towards the door, pulling away from you. 

The members of the hold greet you excitedly, Wrecker seems to have really taken to calling you little bird as well as patting your head affectionately. And you find yourself sat wedge in between him and Tech while they both talk your ear off. Hunter is smiling and eating in contentment of his little family and Crosshair is starring, you fit so nicely in this scene. Wrecker piling more and more food on your plate while you laugh at Techs retelling of one of their ridiculous missions. 

“Tell er’ about Nal Hutta!” Wrecker says with an evil smile.

“Don’t you dare.” Crosshair snaps at his vod, who's already laughing his blacks off. 

“It wasn't that bad Cross.” Hunter admits grabbing some empty dishes and patting his shoulder as he walks by. 

“Yes it was!” Wrecker says between wheezes. And you notice the faint flush in his cheeks. 

“Okay one of you needs to spill the details.” You demand looking from Tech to Wrecker. 

“Well, as you probably know Nal Hutta is run by the infamous Hut cartel…” Tech launches off, waving his hands about as he talks. (you've picked this up as one of his biggest habits.) 

“Tech…” Crosshair groans with his face in one of his hands before giving in and leaning back. Preparing for the worst. 

“I can't tell you all the details, classified and all, but the important part is that Cross was working recon and cover, like usual. So he's up this step mountain that's basically all dirt and sand. Looking for this Hut fellow right, and before we can warn him Wrecker throws this thermal detonator and the whole side of the mountain collapses.” Tech tells you excitedly. And your worried eyes look across the table. Crosshair had moved so he could lean back with his arms behind his head looking just a tad embarrassed. 

“He would've been fine, if he hadn't gone rolling right through the window of the house he was collecting intel on.” Wrecker was killing himself laughing by this point. 

“And then the… the” He tried to get out between gasps of air before waving it off and letting Tech continue. 

“And well, sorry Cross, there's no easy way to say this.” Tech laughed a little himself. “He rolled right in on a Hutt reproducing session.” Your eyes went as wide as they could, and a hand covered your gaping and giggling mouth. 

“Wait, so Crosshair burst in on two Hutts doing it?” You gasped, trying to stifle your growing laughter. 

“Gets worse.” The man in question grit out, looking at the mess of comrades before him. 

“How does that get worse?” You exclaimed, leaning into Wrecker with his contagious laughter. Tech turned to you, smiling wider than ever. 

“Hutts reproduce asexually.” He stated, “scientists don't know too much about it but from the condition we found this one in.” he pointed to a grumpy Crosshair. “It gets real messy.” You closed your mouth into a thin line, blinking as you tried not to laugh. 

“Oh…” Giggle “no, Crosshair…” More giggles. “That must’ve been awful.” You tried to emphasize you really did, but the look on the snipers face had you laughing all over again. 

“He was covered head to toe in green Hutt goo!”  Wrecker boomed. 

“Well it’s nice to know yet another finds my torment hilarious.” Crosshair grumbled as he stood up to escape the laughing hyenas before him. 

“No!” you objected, “I promise I am not finding this the least bit funny.” You told him, trying to keep a straight face. Receiving a sarcastic ‘um hum’ reply. 

“I mean it, you could have been seriously injured.” You countered, thinking you had successfully hidden your smile beneath your hand. 

“I can see you smiling.” He said, raising an eyebrow at you.

“You could've drowned in Hutt goo…” You quietly said with another round of giggles. 

“Ahhh yes CT-7733 of Clone Force 99 killed in action on Nal hutta, death caused by drowning in Hutt goo.” Tech snickered from beside you. 

“He will be dearly missed, and as an apology the Hutt has named the child in his honour.”  You added taking note of Crosshairs millionth eye roll of that morning alone. 

“Okay that's enough of that now.” He said. “Wren, you want clothes or are you spending the rest of your life in my blanket?” He teases, watching you blush a tad. 

“I don't take life advice from a man covered in goo.” You shoot back with the biggest smirk on your face. 

“No clothes for you then.” he smiled as your protests began. 

“Okay, okay, calm down, don’t get your goo in a tuffle.” You say maneuvering yourself from with the blanket and over Wrecker who's still chuckling to himself.  

Down back in your makeshift room, Crosshair shows you where the extra clothes are kept, which means you’ll be swimming in extra sets of blacks all meant for clones that are bigger than yourself. But you think your pants may survive given a good enough wash, so for now you roll the waistband and the legs until you look somewhat presentable. Greeting Crosshair on the other side of the door.  

“See,”  He says, “told ya’ it would fit.” Before he turns from you and starts to walk back down the hall. 

“Wait Crosshair!” You call jogging over to him, a look of fau-concentration on your face as you reach up to where his short hair meets his right ear. Carefully running your fingers through it. He knows his heart has either stopped beating or hammering so fast he can’t feel it. 

“There, all good now.” you declare patting his cheek a few times. Hoping he inquires as to why you just had your hand in his hair. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before deciding on: 

“What was that for?” and if there was an inter-galactic clone flirting competition, Crosshair just lost. You grin up at him, pure evil  in your eyes. 

“Oh no reason,”You say walking past. “Just a little leftover Hutt goo.” 

tags: @mangoberry43 @imalovernotahater @professionaltrashcompactor @vesperstalksclones @haloangel391 

and: Thinking the next chapter might be longer but be out of order in relevance to these chapters... thoughts? questions? comments? etc???

[mpregstoriesetc]

Slime and Punishment - deviantart

Vik’Tor, being an alien and all that, found himself learning new things about Earth every day. Like how it was fine for men to go topless in public but not for women, or that it was inappropriate to talk about your sexual exploits with strangers. Strange. Luckily, due to his meek personality, he managed not to embarrass himself too much.

More to the point, there were so many things from his culture that he took for granted, but humans had no knowledge of! He was the only Torran on Earth, at least as far as he knew: the rest of his tribe generally turned out to be warmongering morons, and they only took interest in visiting planets when they wanted to conquer them. Things were peaceful here, and he’d found a cozy little town that accepted him.

Now he was working odd jobs, mainly to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He was only 29 moon-strides old, after all...he had plenty of time to discover his passions. Today’s job was filling in for a rich family’s gardener. Apparently the man had been struck by a car and flattened like a pancake, and someone needed to take over while the doctors were reinflating him. Vik didn’t mind the work: in fact he quite fancied a good day of honest labor. But, come lunch time, he was positively famished.

He tucked into a double-decker mustard and eggplant sandwich and swiftly downed a concoction of his own creation, lemonade and Bloody Mary mix. Others found his tastes revolting, but he loved finding new flavor combinations. The real star of the show, however, was dessert…

“Pardon me, but what is that you’re eating,” came a soft feminine voice from behind him. “I simply must know, it smells so wonderful!” Vik turned around, locking eyes with a slender young woman with caramel-colored skin. Or perhaps it was a particularly short man. He wasn’t sure which, nor did he know if it even mattered.

“Ah, this?” Vik remembered just in time not to talk with his mouth full, and promptly swallowed. “We call it korrupa, it is a traditional dessert amongst the Ulvions.” He held it up: a shimmering orb of green that seemed to have a life of its own.

“Oh, so that’s what your tribe is called? Fascinating.”

“Well,” said Vik awkwardly. “Not exactly. My people conquered their planet and slaughtered all of their men.”

“Oh.”

Even with his obvious lack of social skills, Vik could tell the conversation was grinding to a painful halt. “Well, the good news is that it is quite easy to get korrupa delivered. Did you know that this town has one of Earth’s only transdimensional portals?”

The short one shrugged. “I’m not surprised. I’ve lived here all my life and I learn something new about this place.” He fidgeted, looking plaintively at the glossy green glob that Vik was devouring. “Do you mind letting me have a sample of your korrupa? I’ll take just a tiny bit, but my chef’s curiosity is just eating me alive! I must have some!”

Vik paused. “Well, Missus, or Mister, or whatever Earth honorific suits you best, I don’t know if you would be suited to trying some...it is quite filling, and you are quite small.”

This earned a little titter from the short one. “I’ll be able to handle it, I assure you. Oh pardon my manners! I haven’t even introduced myself. Camille, no Earth honorifics necessary.” Camille offered one hand out to shake, the other to take.

“I am called Vik’Tor...but you really must consider! It could be ill-suited to your digestive tract! Or perhaps there would be some other unforeseen consequences…!”

Camille stuck his tongue out cutely, reaching out and grabbing the korrupa. Vik realized then how tiny the Earth creature was in comparison to him; his hands were like a child’s in comparison to Vik’s own, hefting up the wobbly substance and bringing it to his tiny little mouth.

The young man moaned softly, his slender lips wrapping around the korrupa and slurping it up eagerly. Within seconds the shimmering green mass—about the size of an Earth coconut—had disappeared down Camille’s gullet. “Oh! Pardon me,” he said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to eat it all...but it was like it had a mind of its own! Hehe. It was remarkable, though! Absolutely delicious.”

Vik looked noticeably crestfallen at the loss of his dessert but didn’t bring it up. However, something that Camille had said sparked a realization inside him. “Oh, you did not know? Korrupa is a sentient creature, it would be quite accurate to say that it does indeed have a mind of its own. Were you not aware of this?”

Camille’s cheeks went noticeably green at this. “Oh dear. Did I just devour an alien without knowing?”

“Fear not,” said Vik, waving his hands quickly. “They are not harmed by this. In fact, they often reproduce inside warm, damp enclosed spaces. Us Torrans have rather dry insides, so we are not affected much. But I do not know about Earth creatures...”

Said Earth creature went even greener. “Oh dear...oh dear indeed.” His cheeks bulged slightly, as if about to gag. “I might have made a rather costly mistake…” But now Vik saw a truly bizarre sight: Camille’s face starting to glow. Not from the skin directly, but almost beneath it somehow. Most prominent were his cheeks—a bright lime green—which had really begun to puff up now. His lips, starting to run out of room on his face, began squashing into an askew O shape, the tiny opening revealing a growing colony of korrupa inside his mouth.

His belly began harboring the telltale green glimmer of his cheeks, the boy’s shirt quickly becoming near-translucent as the slime found a larger reservoir to reside in. Camille’s midriff, previously so thin as almost to be famished, started to bloat rapidly. Although not quite resembling pregnancy, his stomach was now so round and fertile as to immediately invite the comparison.

Camille gave a throttled moan, the korrupa inside his mouth jiggling as words tried in vain to escape. He gave Vik a desperate look, his hands unsure whether to cradle his burgeoning belly or try and unload the cargo inside his mouth. After a slight hesitation, they chose the latter. But as his fingers tried to pry apart his lips, a thick strand of the sentient goo snaked out and slapped away his hands.

“Korrupa do not like the breeding process to be interrupted,” said Vik weakly. “Although they do have a vested interest in keeping their host alive, so you will not have to worry about bursting or suffocating.” Small solace to Camille, who was now bent over with the weight of his ballooning belly.

His shirt, now so tight and see-through as to be mistaken for plastic wrap, was quickly starting to lose structural integrity. The only factor impeding the growth of his gut was Camille’s thin leather belt, now drawing taut and threatening to bisect his torso. The boy lurched forward, his hair falling over his face; if he could talk, it would undoubtedly be a deep moan of discomfort. Momentarily impeded by the belt, the korrupa moved further south to Camille’s rump, making it expand in much a similar fashion.

“I am aware it is rude to say ‘I told you so,’ but I did try and warn you of possible side effects,” mumbled Vik, avoiding eye contact and twiddling all four of his thumbs. “Had I known this would happen, I might have been more cautionary in my advice.” It brought him no pleasure to see this Earth creature inflate like a balloon, especially considering that korrupa could incubate for quite a while depending on compatibility with its host. Should he try and contact other family members? He knew they’d be around soon; would it look worse if he left Camille? Or if he just stayed there passively? There wasn’t much he could do at this point anyway.

Ping! The belt popped off, sending Camille’s belly wobbling like a bowl full of jelly. It might be mistaken for jelly at any rate: glossy, jiggling jelly that had an unearthly shine to it. It was a near perfect orb of green, only dimpled by his sunken-in navel, hanging off his torso rather awkwardly. It had become so big and distended by this point that it hardly seemed like an actual part of the young man, like a second-rate prosthetic. But there it was in both sets of his cheeks too, drawing his skin tight as more and more goo forced itself inside him. His face had become comically wide, two coconut-sized mounds of glistening green alternatively pulling his lips together and apart as they bounced softly. His behind was starting to catch up, though, his buttocks blimping up and making short work of his shorts.

Camille was short, even for a human, but nonetheless it was a surprise to see his tummy touch the ground. It was certainly less of a strain on his body now that gravity had done its work, but nonetheless he wasn’t exactly happy he’d gotten this big. His rear had already broken free from his shorts; but since Camille’s crotch was awkwardly mashed against his underbelly, his dignity was somewhat preserved. Were things slowing down? He was so enormous now that it was hard to tell.

Vik, having inwardly cursed himself for his inaction, decided to finally take off his upper garment and lay it across the boy’s bare butt. However, one last growth spurt caused the fabric to suck inwards, instantly getting lost inside the cleft of Camille’s ass cheeks. Well, he had tried. The young man could only sit there helplessly, the weight of his posterior threatening to pull him backwards, only anchored by his much larger stomach. Vik didn’t know every detail of domicile etiquette, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t a good idea to be standing near-naked in your backyard.

“Well...I should probably get back to work,” said the alien awkwardly, slowly shuffling away. “I hear your family has a dinner party tonight...it would certainly be embarrassing if the garden was only half-finished.”

And, seemingly unaware of the supreme irony of that statement, went back to planting the petunias. Maybe Camille would share some korrupa once he was done breeding it...

[love-takes-work]

Ace/Aro Amethyst headcanons

Some people headcanon Amethyst as asexual and/or aromantic. I think that's pretty cool.

Unfortunately, some people are really hostile to this idea. Sometimes in a way that's problematic.

No, I'm not going to tell you you have to headcanon Amethyst as asexual and aromantic or else you're an acephobe. That's silly. Here's the problem: I recently came across a post on Reddit where a member of the Steven Universe subreddit demanded to know where the "stupid" headcanon of ace Amethyst came from and opined that it's ridiculous because that orientation does not "fit her personality."

Think about that for a sec, y'all.

Sexualities don't have personalities. This is a problem.

If you follow some of the interviews Rebecca Sugar has done over the years, especially lately, she sometimes talks about her growth toward understanding herself as bisexual and why it took her so long to figure it out. It was partly because media representation of characters follows a certain system, and as a result she'd been led to believe bisexual people were aggressively sexual, greedy, unfaithful, and extremely desirous of attention.

"I didn't know you could be a SHY bisexual," she said, and you can hear the wonder in her voice at that idea.

So let's really consider that, please. Any orientation can have any type of personality. And if you pigeonhole someone into what their orientation is likely to be because of how you interpret their personality and what messages you've internalized about what traits go with the way they are, you are probably contributing to this damaging message.

Moving on: full disclosure. I'm an asexual Steven Universe fan. I'm also aromantic. And anybody who says asexual people wouldn't have a personality like Amethyst has probably never hung out in a room full of asexual people. (Uh, I have.) 

There are shy people in the groups. There are conservative people in the groups. There are easily offended and sensitive people in the groups. But you will also find bawdy asexual people cracking gross jokes, asexual people who nevertheless turn everything into a sex joke, asexual people who are sex positive and even occasionally promiscuous or interested in sex. (If you don't understand how that's not a contradiction, I'll just leave you on your own to read some asexual education, because I'm not actually trying to go there with this post.)

Personally, I was raised by a rather crass mom whose sense of humor led her to blurt "IS IT A PENIS? BWAHAHAHA!" at the start of every round of Pictionary. She taught her daughters sex education early because she wanted us to know the facts, and though she joked about sex a lot, she also made it very clear that she expected us to make sex a part of our lives when we were older, and didn’t want us to think it was shameful or should be hidden. She gave us access to birth control in our mid teens and made sure we had the resources to make good choices about sex. It wasn't embarrassing or weird in our house. And even though I turned out ace, my siblings are straight and married. I grew up making ridiculous sex jokes and not being at all shocked by sexual humor or sexual situations. It was all just a good time and an accepting atmosphere. It was also okay that I didn't desire it myself. It didn't mean I couldn't dish out the innuendo with the best of them.

And yet, sometimes when I've come out as ace to someone and then they notice I use swear words, or am not horrified into covering my face during the movie's kissing scene, or have done things they really don't expect asexual people to enjoy, I'm treated to this weird mixture of shock-and-mock:

"Whaaaaat? Aren't you too PURE to use language like that, young lady?" "Plug your virgin ears, girl, we're talking about ADULT THINGS." "Don't worry, I won't mention S-E-X. LOL triggered." "She wouldn't be interested. It's about relationships and she thinks that's ICKY." "GASP! You just used the F word! Wait isn't that ironic?"

No, having a vocabulary that includes vulgarities and being tolerant of other people's desires is not inconsistent with being asexual. Being asexual means I don't feel sexually attracted to other people. It says absolutely zero about my behavior, and nothing I do is "wrong" behavior for an asexual person, because I am doing it.

Back to Amethyst.

Asexuality is a dicey issue for discussing Gems because technically they're all asexual. They are not a sexually reproducing species, so there really shouldn't be any reason for them to desire each other sexually. But they do seem to want intimacy and closeness in some situations, and there's definitely romantic attraction between some of them. It's sometimes hard to tell whether "sex" would be a concept available to them (besides Gems who shapeshift to mimic how humans do it), because it is after all a family show and sometimes you have to wonder if the relative chastity of some of the romantic scenes is due to the intended audience.

Amethyst has been more than once described by Rebecca Sugar as Dionysian. She was set up as an opposite to Pearl's Apollonian nature. If you don't know, Apollo vs. Dionysus is a concept of Greek origin that's often used in literature to set characters at odds with each other. Apollo is everything Pearl is: rational, clean, proper, perfect. Dionysus instead embraces the mess, just like Amethyst: Dionysian characters are sloppy, unruly, chaotic, and (this is important) hedonistic. They do what feels good.

Given this, I understand the root of why some people feel asexuality and Amethyst wouldn't go together well. And all things considered, it's true: Amethyst seems, to me, like the kind of Gem who would try anything, especially if other people seemed to enjoy it and especially if abstaining is portrayed as prudent and restrained. She's a let-it-loose kind of character. It's hard to imagine someone like her, who loves to eat, sleep, hoard, and be lazy, wouldn't have tried a few rolls in the hay, right?

Well, sure. Maybe.

And yet we've seen no specific evidence of it.

She could choose any form but she's never seen trying to change herself to look sexy; she's displayed no particular intimate or romantic interest in anyone beyond casual physicality and warmth; she's the only main-four Crystal Gem who hasn't been pursued romantically by a human; she's a little insecure and seems to crave attention sometimes but never spins it as a need to be fulfilled by romantic attention; she never expresses that she wishes she was someone's partner. Who knows? Maybe she's tried it out, found nothing she liked, said "Eh," and decided it's not her bag.

Hedonism is about embracing what feels good. If those kinds of relationships just didn’t feel good for her, I could see her just deciding they were boring and still fully embracing her other Dionysian qualities. She can indulge in naps and eat all the food in the fridge and hoard all the garbage she wants . . . without that indicating she must also possess and pursue amorous relations.

There’s also the fact that a minority of asexual people are like “eh, screw it, I’ll try it,” and don’t find sex completely objectionable or might even like it. (Not all, not most, not me, but this does exist.) They still may not desire it the way non-asexual people do, or may experience no attraction despite having neutral or positive feelings about the act itself. Who knows? Amethyst could be like that. We’ve seen her eat food that she doesn’t even like, just ‘cause it’s there. Some people take or leave sex like that.

And if you say her "type" necessarily incorporates promiscuity or a large sexual appetite, or you say she couldn't be ace because she's not uptight and strait laced, you're buying right into the damaging stereotypes about asexual people.

It's certainly not acephobic to headcanon Amethyst as bisexual or pansexual or lesbian or whatever you want. And it's fine if you believe the closeness she’s displayed with others that I interpret as friendship or non-romantic intimacy is actually a different flavor. What's NOT fine is saying Amethyst CANNOT be asexual or aromantic because of weird beliefs you have about what ace/aro people would be like.

Further, asexual people unfortunately don't have that much representation, and usually we're reduced to embracing absence as evidence. If a character isn't shown to "like" anyone that way, whoa, they might be ace! It's so very rare that a character does actively say or do something that indicates their lack of attraction. We often have to see ourselves in the "not yet" if we want any representation at all, running the risk of having our headcanons smashed as soon as a writer decides a certain type of attraction in a relationship will make that character interesting. But at least we're in the same boat as every other fan there. What we want to happen isn't necessarily what will happen.

And for those who think Amethyst might be ace and/or aro, she's such a great example of someone who isn't defined by the overly cautious, conservative germophobe who's obsessed with logic and conflates their abstention with purity and righteousness. I get really tired of asexuality being tied in with those traits because non-ace writers can't imagine ace people without sucking fun and flexibility out of their souls. (And on the flip side, isn't it wonderful to have the logical, organized, clean, perfect character be a giant lesbian? This is one box queer women rarely see themselves put in, but I know they're out there. I'm friends with a few.)

As for me, do I headcanon Amethyst as asexual or aromantic? Honestly, I am not very invested in this theory. 

I can see it and I could support it in a debate if someone asked me to. But I think Amethyst could turn out to be anything; really, the most likely thing for her to be is fluid. I think she's cute with Pearl sometimes, though Pearl having a mom vibe and being so much older and having other attractions does give me pause. I think the idea of her with Peridot or Vidalia is interesting, though Peridot more than Amethyst reads as possibly ace and there's more built up between her and Lapis now. I could even see her with another tertiary character someday; I wouldn't bat an eye.

But Amethyst as ace and/or aro would also make complete sense to me and might even fit best with her livin' free and unbound attitude, and when you look at the asexual flag, Amethyst is certainly dressed for it.

[songficsbyrissi]

Should’ve Kissed You ( T’Challa x Black Reader)

Warning: fluffy fluff, T’Challa being a lovesick fool but he’s our lovesick fool, T’Chaka is alive, Very non-canon. *I also slipped in a “Fresh Prince” reference so anyone who peeps it gets a gold star *

“Seems like every time I get the chance I lose my cool and I blow it And I get all tongue tied Lost in your eyes I'm a fool and I know it” - Chris Brown

A/N: I know it has been 5ever since I posted something but I’m back, y’all! I hope y’all enjoy this!

*************“

“Yo did I miss it?! Did I miss it?! Yo Please tell I did not miss this shit!” Erik plopped himself next to Shuri as they observed T’Challa who was standing a great distance from you.

Shuri shook her head, giggling a little. “Nope. He is still working up the courage to talk to her. I bet you 10 dollars he says something stupid and has to make a hasty exit.”

“I bet you 20 he freezes before he can say any dumb shit.”

Shuri shook hands with Erik. “You are on, cousin.”

Yes, T’Challa’s little sister and cousin are making a bet on how he is going to fail at asking you out this time. The poor prince had an ongoing crush on you, a beautiful and tough war dog. You were sweet but weren’t hesitant to fuck shit up when necessary. His crush was obvious while you were harder to read. Everyone knew T’Challa had feelings for you except you. You thought the prince never wanted to talk to you because you seemed more intimidating than you meant to. You turned around and spotted T’Challa slowly coming closer to you. You had to get rid of your resting bitch face so you decided to smile at him and salute.

“Yam nkosana. How are you this afternoon?”

T’Challa blinked rapidly, looking stunned in his spot. He was completely frozen staring at you and you got scared you did something. You waved a hand in his face.

“My prince?” You questioned full of concern.

Erik cackled in the distance but you didn’t hear him. “BWAHAHA I KNEW THIS NIGGA WAS GOING TO FREEZE! PAY THE FUCK UP, PRINCESS!”

Shuri murmured out of annoyance while shuffling through her little purse. “The one time I have a little bit of faith in T’Challa, he disappoints me. Ugh.”

Zoya, one of your fellow War Dogs, ran up to you tugging on your wrist.“Y/N! We need you to discuss the mission plans! Nakia and Asha have two different ideas on how we go about it! They are fighting, as always.” Zoya looked at the prince and developed an embarrassed expression on her face. “Yam nkosana! Nice to see you, as always! Sorry to interrupt but we really need Y/N.” She saluted him and it took T’Challa a few seconds to register his current situation and saluted back hesitantly. 

He gulped hard, focusing his attention on Zoya. “Nice to see you as well, Zoya. And you are free to go on and take her away.”

She smiled then grabbed your hand leading away from the Prince before you could get a chance to say bye. 

‘Free to go on and take me away?’ You thought sadly. He didn’t speak to you at all. You probably smiled too wide and creeped him out. Nice going, Y/N.

Meanwhile, Prince T’Challa was repeatedly slapping his forehead in frustration. Why couldn’t he just ask you out? What was so difficult? He would be ready to do it then becomes speechless when he gets your attention. He’s a fool and he knows it.

“Really nigga? You really said “free to go on and take her away?” How stupid are you?” Erik shook his head and clicking his tongue in disapproval. “You’re the first in line to become king and you can’t talk to a female.”

“Please, N’Jadaka.” T’Challa groaned out of annoyance.

Shuri piped up. “He’s right, T’Challa. How do you expect to find your future queen if you can’t even say hi to a woman?”

Erik began to cackle. “I’m not complaining. Shit, if this nigga doesn’t reproduce, I’m closer to getting the throne.”

T’Challa grew frustrated. “I do not need this.” He began to walk away when his cousin grabbed him by his bicep.

“All jokes aside, you need help talking to her? I can help you.”T’Challa eyed him skeptically and Shuri shook her head in disapproval. His thug cousin from Oakland giving him advice on courting a woman? That had to be the mother of bad ideas. “See, all you gotta do is-“

“No, no, no. Do not listen to him! The way he talks to women will not get a date with Y/N. I guarantee that!” Shuri glared at Erik causing him to suck his teeth. “I can tell you what to do.”

“Nah! You can’t seriously be taking advice from a 13 year old!”

Shuri scoffed, clearly offended. “How dare you? I am 16!”

“16 seconds past 13. Congrats on finally being a teenager.” Erik turned back to T’Challa. “Like I was saying, all you gotta do is-“

“Enough!” T’Challa shut him down and both of his relatives looked stunned. “I will be fine. I do not need the advice, thank you.” He walked away muttering out of irritation and the other two royals watched him. Erik shook his head, sucking his teeth.

“He’s gonna fuck up again.”

“Yes he is.”

They were absolutely right. Once you came around T’Challa again at the council meeting discussing the war operations with the king, the prince turned into a babbling, flustered mess as Erik and Shuri watched in amusement. When the meeting came to an end, he mentally berated himself for his repeated fuck up. 

The king observed his son with concern. “My son, what is going on with you?”

He sighed. “Nothing, Baba. I’m just tired.”

“Tired of being a pussy nigga.” Erik muttered under his breath and laughed at his own statement.

The king was genuinely confused. “What was that, N’Jadaka?”

“Unc, he has a crush on one of the war dogs, Y/N. I think it’s pretty obvious which one is her. He can’t even talk to her.”

King T’Chaka cooed in understanding and chuckled. “Ahh I see. I was worried that she was too intimidating for you. I was about to send her away.”

“Don’t do that!” T’Challa responded quickly, raising the eyebrows of the remaining family members. He regained composure and cleared his throat. Shuri rolled her eyes speaking up.

“Even though it is very entertaining watching you make a fool out of yourself, it is also sad. You must court her soon.” Shuri turned her father. “He doesn’t know how to talk to her and rejected our advice.”

The king chuckled again. “Because he needs the advice of his father who has been happily married for years now.”

“No offense, Unc, but you got with Auntie like 100 years ago. This is 2018. Getting women is different now.” Erik came up to T’Challa, getting his attention. “I’m telling you, T, all you gotta do is-“T’Challa held up his hand ceasing his cousin’s talking. 

“No offense, cousin, but I will take my father’s advice. He is married to a wonderful woman like my mother.”

King T’Chaka smiled widely at his son’s words. “It is very simple. You are a prince! You are born to be suave and confident! Women love that. Your mother certainly did.” He leaned closer to his son. “Remind her that you are royalty. Heir to the throne! Brag about yourself!”

“Mhmmm I shall do that. Thank you, Father.”

T’Challa went on to take his father’s advice and it did not work at all. You were feeling the confidence until it turned into arrogance.

“So what are you trying to say?” You had your arms folded with an obvious scowl present on your face. “Are you insinuating that I’m some kind of gold digger?”

T’Challa’s eyes widened in shock. “No! Not at all! I am just saying I’m heir to the throne and will be the Black Panther. I’m more than suitable to be your companion.”

You snorted shaking your head. “Wow. I thought you were a nice and humble man. I guess I was wrong.” You walked away, disappointed that your crush turned out to be an ass. You saluted Queen Ramonda as you walked past her and she stared at her son in confusion.

“What did you do to Y/N? She seems very upset.” She observed your departing form as she walked up to her son.

T’Challa sighed deeply slapping his forehead. “I messed up again, Mama.”Erik, Shuri, and W’Kabi approached T’Challa from behind with a mix of amused and disappointed expressions.

“Wow I guess Baba’s advice didn’t work.” Erik smirked sarcastically at his cousin. “Are you ready to hear some real nigga advice or what?”

The queen’s eyebrows furrowed, displaying her puzzlement. “What advice did your Baba give you?”

“He said he approached you confidently and bragged about his status.” T’Challa replied and her mother groaned loudly in response, rolling her eyes.

“That is a lie. That is not how he courted me. He sent his friend to come talk to me and I-“ The queen paused and sucked her teeth in realization. “Who is this woman he bragged to? I will be right back, my children.”The fuming queen turned on her heel and scurried to confront her husband. 

Shuri and Erik followed her and his amused laughter was heard from a distance. “Oh shit! Unc was one of those niggas? Damn shame!”

W’Kabi cleared his throat resting his hand on the poor prince’s shoulder. “Would you like me to tell you how I courted Okoye? It’s very simple. I gave her a gift and asked her out.”

T’Challa turned his attention to his longtime friend and sighed. “What did you give her?”

“I gifted her a rhinoceros. She loved it and fell in love with me. I am sure Y/N will love it too.”

So the smitten prince purchased a rhino for you and was damn near positive this would win you over. You and Okoye are both tough women so of course you guys would both love this pet.

He couldn’t be any more wrong.

T’Challa has approached you to apologize for before and being the sucker you were for him, you accepted his apology. Even though you told him he didn’t have to, he insisted on giving you a gift to make up for it. The prince whistles and at the moment, your life flashed before your eyes. A 5,000 pound rhinoceros came charging towards you and you began to dodge it effectively.

“T’Challa! What is the meaning of this?!” You screeched when you jumped the top of a tree. The beast began to ram into the tree and the stunned prince finally sprung into action.

“I don’t know why it’s acting like this but you love it, yes?” He questioned sheepishly.

“No! I’m terrified of rhinos! You didn’t know that?!” You snapped jumping onto another branch. T’Challa slapped his forehead. Aww fuck. Once the rhino focused its attention on the prince, it began to charge when Okoye appeared between them.

“Berko! What are you doing attacking the prince?! You do not do that! We have discussed this!” Okoye scolded the animal causing it to turn from a ferocious beast to a tame, obedient pet. She sighed feeding him something from her and petted his head as he made a sound of content.

The general smiled softly. “Ahh you were just hungry. Who is the idiot that would let you out without feeding you first?”

T’Challa scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Maybe the culprit is not an idiot and just trying to impress the girl he likes, general. Maybe Y/N, specifically?”

Okoye chuckled still petting the animal. “No if he did that, he is definitely an idiot. Y/N may seem fearless, but she is terrified of rhinos.”

T’Challa threw his hands up in defeat. “Now how was I supposed to know that?!”

Okoye ceased her laughter and looked at her prince astonishingly. “You are the idiot? Bast!”

T’Challa groaned at himself and glanced up at the trees. You were nowhere to be found and he cursed himself. First, he is arrogant, then tries to kill you. Great.

“Let me guess. My beloved husband told you to do this, yam nkosana.” When T’Challa nodded, she snorted. “With all due respect, you two are idiots. Yes, he gave me a rhino as a gift but that’s not what made me fall for him.”

Before he could ask her what did it, Okoye had to rush to attend to an emergency. T’Challa relays the story to Erik and Shuri who shook their heads at his story.

“Nigga, I don’t even know Y/N like that but even I knew she didn’t fuck with rhinos.” Erik sucked his teeth. “And you swear you like her.”

Shuri piped up. “Would you like to hear my advice?”

When T’Challa gave her his full attention, Erik spoke up. 

“Nah hold up! I know you ain’t taking Pipsqueak’s advice before you take mine!”

T’Challa shrugged at his cousin. “She is a girl and so far, listening to the men in relationships is not working. Besides, you are single. What do you know?”

“I’m single by choice!” Erik snapped then sat back and waved him off. “But nah go ahead. Listen to the little girl advice.”

Shuri ignored him and spoke. “Brother, it’s simple. Just be yourself and tell her how you feel.” She proposed causing T’Challa and Erik to blink at her repeatedly. 

Erik scoffed shaking his head.“That is the worst, most cliché bullshit idea ever. For someone with an IQ of 170, that’s disappointing.”

Shuri rolled her eyes in annoyance and T’Challa turned to his cousin sighing. “Fine. Let me hear your idea, N’Jadaka.”

“Yeah. The right idea.” Erik sneered at Shuri and leaned in closer to T’Challa. “You see, all you gotta do is approach shorty like a thug. Women love it when you’re rough with them. They like a nigga who’s gonna tell her to jump and she gonna ask “how high?”

“I’m not sure about this idea.” T’Challa raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“Listen, all you gotta do is act like she’s not the only girl in your eyes. Like you got other options so she’s lucky if you’re entertaining her. It works, trust me.”

“Do not trust him! No women would like that!” Shuri protested when she saw that her older brother was seriously considering Erik’s idea.

Erik put his hand up. “Shut up and let me demonstrate.”

He went on to walk up to one of the maids of the palace while his cousins examined the scene in curiously.

“Prince N’Jadaka.” She saluted.

“What’s up, baby girl? I’ve been thinking about you.” Erik licked his lips and looked her up and down. 

“I was thinking about taking your fine ass out.”The girl glanced away shyly at Erik’s advances. 

“Oh I don’t know.....”

“See ma you keep playing with me and I ain’t got the time for the games and shit. If you ain’t with it, I can easily get another girl.”

The girl’s eyes widened and she shook her head vigorously. “No! No! I will cease the game playing and be your “ma”

The two royal siblings were astonished at how Erik’s tasteless treatment of the maid is actually working for him. So women liked getting disrespected? This was new to T’Challa.

Erik grinned widely. “Aight then. 8 o’clock. We going out and you better be wearing something sexy. Now hurry up and write your number down before I don’t want it no more.”

“Yes, my Prince.” The girl followed his order, smiling timidly and scurried away to tend her duties before the time rolled around for her date. Erik glances at his cousins and smirked brushing off his shoulders.

“And that....” Erik did the Harlem shake. “Is how you do it.”

T’Challa grinned seeing how it played out for his cousin and decided to go with his plan.

Which was a very, very bad idea.

“What is up, baby girl?” T’Challa smirked at you as he placed his arm around your shoulders. You gazed between him and his hand. What the fuck?

“Uh....nothing much since your rhino almost killed me, my prince.”

“Oh shorty, you have the jokes.” He chuckled abnormally and you raised one eyebrow as you saw his eyes surveying one of your fellow war dogs from a distance. You had to resist the urge to punch him right in the neck.

“So I was thinking you and me on a date. If you say no, I can easily find other females to be my ma.” T’Challa continued to smirk as you felt his hand creep up on your posterior. You backed away from him.

“Prince T’Challa!” You hissed staring angrily at him and your face dropped in sadness and disappointment. “Please just leave me alone.”

You ran away from the prince and he watched you run away from him and wiped his face in frustration. How the fuck did Erik’s idea not work when he did a live demonstration?

“T, forget her ass! She wanna play hard to get so damn bad!” Erik shouted when T’Challa approached him and Shuri. The King and Queen appeared along with W’Kabi and Okoye.

“What is all this shouting about?” Queen Ramonda questioned then looked in the distance where you were storming away and groaned. “Oh Bast, T’Challa! Really? You messed this up again?”

“Again?” The king’s eyes widened and glanced at his son. “My son, did my advice not work?”

“Of course it didn’t! That’s not how you courted me, T’Chaka! Do you not recall?”

Okoye hit W’Kabi’s shoulder. “Same with you! Telling him to gift her a rhino! Have you lost your mind?”

Erik rubbed his chin. “You know what? I’m starting to think you didn’t say it right. That’s why shorty rejected you.”

“Enough!” T’Challa’s voice boomed gaining everyone’s attention. “I have taken everyone’s advice and it failed. Now she must want nothing to do with me.”

Shuri raised her hand. “Uh, you did not take my advice.”

“For the last fucking time, fetus, it’s not gonna work.” Erik stretched out a $100 bill. “I put a hunnid on that.”

“I will take that bet, cousin.” Shuri shook hands with Erik and the Queen took her daughter’s hand. “What was your advice, Shuri?”

Shuri sighed out of relief. “I was saying he should just calm down and be himself. Tell her how he feels.”

The Queen smiled at her daughter and looked at her son. “She’s right. That is how your father courted me.” She moved to be right by her husband’s side, grasping his hand. The King brought her hand to his lips, kissing it.“

I didn’t finish my story but I rejected him because he sent his friend to talk to me. I told his friend to tell him to come talk to himself and be himself. The rest is history, my children.”

“As much as my husband is an idiot, he is my idiot and the idiot who stole my heart by being himself.” Okoye kissed W’Kabi on the cheek and looked at the young prince. “Which is what you need to do. If it’s meant to be, she will like you for you.”

The next day, you were by yourself in the training working out your frustrations. You looked up to see Prince T’Challa coming your way and you groaned inwardly. Every time he came near you, it was always some bullshit and you weren’t in the mood. He clearly wasn’t the man you had feelings for.

“My prince, with all due respect, I must not be bothered right now.” You turned your back to him to polish your elbow blades. Hopefully, he could take the hint that you politely told him to fuck off.

“You see, I can not do that.”

You turned around suddenly, stunning him. “Why not? Do you not have “other females” that could attend to your needs? That’s what you told me.” He sighed in response and you continued, clearly frustrated.“Please do not take this as disrespect but what is it with you? First, you come to me bragging about how you are going to be King and all that nonsense, second, you attempt to end my life by sending a rhinoceros to charge towards me, thirdly, you come back with more arrogance and being completely disrespectful. Are you bored or something? What is your mission here? Why are you being so-“

You were cut off by T’Challa’s lips on yours and your eyes widened in shock. You weren’t sure if you wanted to give in or push him away. You didn’t get a chance to decide when he pulled away, staring into your eyes with his deep, mahogany orbs.

“I should’ve kissed you.”

You were even more confused now. “Wait what? How-“

T’Challa interrupted you once again. “I should’ve just kissed you and tell you how I felt instead of pulling these ridiculous schemes to get your attention.” He shook his head, chuckling. “I am sorry, Y/N. I have been trying to ask you on a date and tell you how I like you but I always get nervous so I took a lot of advice that clearly was not effective. Now, I’m taking this one which is being myself. So Y/N, will you please go out with me?”

You beamed at his question and grabbed his face, giving him a big, juicy kiss that he leaned into.“My prince, you can definitely take me out on a date.”

T’Challa grinned widely at your response and turned around, giving the others a thumbs up before taking your hand and leaving the training grounds for your date. 

Yeah, he finally got it right.

“Are you fucking serious?! That Disney Channel bullshit advice actually worked?” Erik threw his hands up in amazement as Shuri, her parents, W’Kabi, and Okoye waved goodbye to the love birds. Shuri smirked, outstretching her hand towards her cousin.

“Pay up please.”

“I’m never making bets with your ass again.” Erik grumbled furiously and slapped the wager in the princess’s hand.

Tags:  @iamrheaspeaks @chaneajoyyy @dramaqueenamby @marvelpotterlove @purple-apricots @brattywriters-anonymous@cancerianprincess @blowmymbackout @ljstraightnochaser @blackpinup22 @airis-paris14 @vibranium-chakra@sociallyawkward18@chefjessypooh @mychemicalimagines @nerd-lovely @slimmiyagi @imasmille @ashanti-notthesinger @thehomierobbstark @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @quietstorm-73

[supervalor]

You’re My Aphrodisiac (one-shot)

Lol I wrote this after attempting to use my Karamel generator. Sorry but there’s no graphic sex in this because I cannot write a sex scene to save my life.

The generator prompt was: sex or die/magic made them do it, set on Argo, crack fic (it’s not really that cracky though).

Kara and Mon-El had been on Argo City for two days when it happened.

They had been skirting around the topic of ‘them’ as they had been ever since he’d re-entered her life with a wife, a wife he no longer had.  She had been enjoying spending plenty of time with her mother and catching up on their lives while Mon-El had gone out and helped random citizens of Argo. So far life on this planet was a lot more peaceful, way more serene than the life she knew on Earth. A part of her had begun to consider staying there permanently.

“So how has it been…being with your mom again?” Mon-El asked her as they walked among the large garden that surrounded her mother’s home. The two of them had decided to go out and enjoy some fresh air while her mother was locked up in a council meeting. The conversation had been surprisingly comfortable and there had never been an awkward silence, only companionable ones that were brief and few.

Kara automatically smiled at the mention of her mother. She really was happy to see her again. All of the guilt she had struggled with after saying goodbye to her before Krypton exploded…that wasn’t completely gone but it had healed a part of her to some extent. “It’s been wonderful. I know now that my mother wasn’t perfect, neither of my parents were but she’s my mother and she’s my family. The only family I have left except Clark and the only one who remembers life on Krypton. It’s been a blessing to get to spend time with her again that I never thought I would get until I passed into the light of Rao”.

“I’m really happy for you, Kara”, Mon-El smiled at her warmly, his brown eyes filled with love and a little longing as he gazed down at her. She blushed under his gaze and looked away, her eyes landing on a beautiful large exotic pink flower that she barely remembered seeing growing up on Krypton. It must have been a rare plant that her mother, the scientist that she was, had managed to preserve on Argo. “Look at this, it’s beautiful”, Kara walked over and touched it’s petals. They were surprisingly soft, just like velvet.

Mon-El frowned at her in concern. “I don’t recognise that plant and we had most of the same flora on Daxam. Are you sure you should be touching it?”

“Relax. I doubt my mother would have anything dangerous lying around her garden”, Kara snorted just as said plant came to life and suddenly began attacking her. Tentacles burst forth out of the middle and latched onto her face. Kara gave a muffled scream as it sucked on her face. She could faintly hear Mon-El’s voice shouting for her as she struggled to get the plant off her. “Kara!”

She felt Mon-El’s body come up from behind as he pulled her away from the plant, only for one of the tentacles to latch onto his own face. “Mon-El!” she searched around desperately for some sort of weapon that she could use to de-attach the seemingly sentient flower from the former Daxam Prince’s face.

Obviously having returned home earlier than expected and having heard the noise, Alura rushed towards them with a device in her hand. “Step back”, she told Kara before blasting some sort of liquid at the plant. As soon as the blue liquid touched it’s petals the flower folded in on itself and returned to the state it had been in when Kara had stumbled across it. Mon-El took a step back and inhaled sharply.

“What the hell was that?” Kara demanded, turning to stare at her mother. “And what did it just do to me and Mon-El? Should we be worried about side effects?”

 That was a Litalla flower, taken and grown directly from the fields of Krypton”, Alura explained gently. “After the planet exploded, we knew that our people would need a new way to repopulate our race once more. We had to go back to reproducing through the old ways but the issue with that was that most of our people had become barren after so long of using the pods and we needed a way to fix it. There was a myth recorded in our history books that the Litalla flower could cause fertility and help even those with the most impossible fertility issues to become pregnant. That’s why I have one of these flowers in this garden. It can’t be out there for everyone to access at free will because of how sacred it is. It is one of a few of its kind left in existence and we can’t risk anything happening to it”.

“Okay so I should be fine since I’m not exactly going to go out having sex”, Kara breathed out a sigh of relief that was cut short by the grim look on her mother’s face. “What? Is there more?”

Alura began to turn a little pink as she started her explanation. “Part of the flower’s unique properties is that it’s a powerful aphrodisiac. In about an hour, you will begin to go crazy with lust and you won’t come down from it until you’ve been sated. The flower was designed that way to ensure conception”.

Kara immediately began to freak out. “This cannot be happening. Seriously?! I’m Supergirl, I can’t be taken down by a stupid flower”.

“Is there no way to cure this without the…you know extreme measures?” Mon-El questioned, looking and sounding a lot calmer about the entire thing that Kara was.

Alura stared at them both sympathetically. “I’m so sorry this is my fault. I should have warned you but I guess I forgot you wouldn’t have known…and I’m afraid there is only one way to cure this and that’s through full intercourse. I know that it’s not what you want to hear and this isn’t an ideal situation but I can go and get a couple of willing people to come and assist you and it’ll be over in a matter of-“

“No, no way, I am not having sex with a complete stranger!” Kara recoiled at her mother’s suggestion while Mon-El grimaced. Apparently sex with random people was completely unappealing to the person he was now than the playboy he had once been. “Absolutely not!”

The older woman sighed and gave her a serious look. “You understand that if you choose to be with Mon-El while you are both affected by the Litalla then that will almost certainly increase your chances of conception to a sure thing”.

Kara deflated but as she glanced over at Mon-El she already knew what her choice was. She wasn’t about to have sex with some random Kryptonian with the risk of pregnancy still there even if it was lessened. She’d rather give Mon-El, the man she loved, the only person she fully trusted here on Argo, her consent while she was still in a state of mind to do so then wait until it was too late and have the choice taken from her.

“Mon-El, I understand this is definitely not what you signed up for when you came here with me but-“

“Kara, you’re the only one I would want to do this with. The situation might have taken some things out of our hands but the choice of who I want to be with remains my choice”. He gave her a look full of meaning that had her heart pounding…unless that was the start of the flower kicking in but her mother said an hour…her thoughts quickly got derailed by a rush of guilt. She had unintentionally trapped Mon-El into this situation and now-

”It’s also not your fault that we’re in this situation” he added as though he could read her mind.

“I still feel like it is, though. You knew that it was probably a bad idea to go touching random plants but I did it anyway. I feel really stupid right now”.

“Don’t. You were drawn to the plant because of its beauty. You’re also a naturally trusting person which is lucky for me you are or I don’t think I would have made it this far without you”, Mon-El stepped towards her, pulling her hands into his own. She felt a spark of electricity run through her skin but knew that was all Mon-El. He always had a way of making her body come alive under his touch.

“I’m sorry that this is happening this way. I would have preferred to do this under different circumstances”, the blonde confessed, deciding that a bit of emotional honesty was the least she could give him before they were overtaken by their primal urges.

“Me too but I’m not sorry that I’m here with you right now”.

Mon-El leaned down and Kara leant up for her mouth to meet his. For the first time in a year Kara felt truly alive. “Maybe you two ought to take this inside to Kara’s quarters”, Alura’s voice broke them up, reminding them that they weren’t alone. The two held hands the entire way back to the house before heading up to Kara’s rooms. They decided that they would spend the rest of the hour talking until their bodies and hormones began to take over.

“Before we do this…” Mon-El told her as they cuddled up, both naked in Kara’s bed. “I need you to know that I still love you. I never stopped. I think not loving you is impossible for me”.

“I love you too. I always loved you and I always will. I’m sorry that I’ve been distant and for all those things I said to you when my mind was invaded. You were always a good man and I never felt for one moment you weren’t. I was jealous and hurt and I took it out on you. I’m sorry”, Kara looked at him with teary blue eyes, the sight of which tore into his heart.

“It’s okay. I’m not sure how I would have handled things had our places been swapped”.

He pressed a kiss against her forehead just as she felt her body begin to shudder. Her nerves felt like they had been set alight as the blood rushed between her legs, turning her to mush. “Oh…oh, Mon-El, I think that it’s starting…”

Mon-El felt his own body begin to tremble and his member begin to throb painfully. “I think you’re right”…

“I need you”, she breathed out as Mon-El rolled on top of her and pressed his lips hard against her own. Her hands wrapped around his neck as she pulled him closer, grinding her hips against his. The next twenty four hours were a passion filled haze of orgasms and heated kisses. By the time they came down from their sex-a-thon, both of them were completely worn out, sore and completely sated.

“That was…”

“Intense”, Mon-El finished breathlessly.

Even though she was exhausted and on the verge of falling to sleep, she still had to ask the question that was plaguing her mind. “What if…what if I’m pregnant? Mom said that with us both under the effects of the plant that it makes it almost a certainty even with protection and we didn’t even use that”.

“If you are then I’ll be with you for all of it and we’ll be a family of superheroes. I’m sure Alex would love to be an Aunt and you know I like the idea of a mini Kara running around”, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to his chest. She snuggled against him, embracing his warmth before falling into a deep sleep.

[amyscascadingtabs]

i believe we’ll be okay

(kid fic update? kid fic update.)

read on ao3

Until he returned to the precinct to find no less than twenty-three missed calls and a series of texts on his phone, all sent from Amy’s number, Jake’s day was going smoothly.

Leah crawled into her parents’ bed early enough for them to fit sleepy cuddles with their three-year-old in before work; a rare occurrence now when their kid has begun to claim she’s getting too big for them, but still the best start of a morning Jake knows. It took him only five minutes of gentle coercing instead of the usual ten to get her to eat breakfast. She chose her clothes without a fight and almost didn’t cry when he dropped her off for daycare. Well at work he and Charles received a tip allowing them to finally arrest the counterfeiter they’d been chasing for months, and he thinks Holt might even have smiled at them when they brought the guy in.

It’s possible he should’ve foreseen a day like the one they were having was too good to be true.

He didn’t.

The voicemail has his face pale and muscles tense from the moment he understands the words Leah and hospital and he can't quite remember what he's saying, but suddenly Terry is granting him the rest of the day off and Boyle’s driving him and Jake’s heart is beating a mile a minute.

She has to be okay.

He runs faster through the hospital corridors than he’s done chasing a perp in a long time.

“Jake.” He sees Amy first, walking aimlessly back and forth in a hurried pace, when he enters the waiting room.  She halts the moment she sees him, says his name in a single relieved breath and throws her arms around him. “Thank god you’re here.”

“Came as soon as I heard. What happened? Is she okay?” It’s not until she retreats he notices the traces of smudged eye makeup trailing down her cheeks, sees how blank and puffy her eyes are. There are small dark stains on her coat looking too much like dried blood for him to feel comfortable, and she’s clutching a torn tissue in her left hand so firmly her hands are pushing through the white paper.

“She’s okay”, she lets out finally. “They’re cleaning her up, making sure she doesn’t need stitches or anything. Heads just bleed a lot, it looked much worse than it was…”

“She hit her head at the playground?”

“I looked away for two seconds”, she whispers, her voice faint and gaze diverted. “It was so quick, but it was terrifying. I was scared to death. I’m a cop, for god’s sake. I’ve seen dead bodies on my job - but I saw her bleeding and I freaked out. She’s in there without me because she wouldn’t stop crying if I stayed, and I’m the worst.”

“You can be sort of scary when you’re freaking out.” He pulls her into another tight hug. If it’s for her sake or his he’s not sure, but maybe it’s the same thing when you’ve been married over four years. “But that sort of stuff happens with three-year-olds, right? You didn’t do anything, Lee’s fine, you’re not the worst.”

“Hmm.”

“I mean it, Ames.”

“Don’t Ames me. I feel like the most useless mom on the planet.”

“You know you’re not.”

“Today? No, I don’t.” She shakes her head and throws her arms up in a frustrated gesture. “I could be. She’s hurt because I wasn’t watching her closely enough. That’s not something a good mom does.”

He wants desperately to be able to procure the magical words to end her spiralling and successfully convince her everything is fine, but worry for their child is tugging at his own heart too, and it’s all he can do to tell her no another time and wait with her. Five more excruciating minutes they wait, hand in hand on uncomfortable plastic chairs without speaking. Amy takes his hand and moves it to rest atop her belly when their fourth family member, the one that’s going to join them on the outside in two short months from now, starts kicking and moving around in a reminder to their parents that they’re also here and worried about their sister, but the nervous silence remains.

It’s not broken until a nurse finally, finally comes to ask for Leah Santiago-Peralta’s parents.

A few short moments later, Leah is in Jake’s arms eating a pear popsicle and looking positively perplexed as to why her parents are showering her with kisses when all she wants to do is show off the glittery pirate stickers a nurse gave her. There is a small bandage at her right temple and they receive strict orders to go back immediately if she appears dizzy or starts throwing up, but a doctor assures them they’re fine to go home. Jake can practically see the anxiety melt away from Amy’s face when Leah reaches for her, mumbling something about ice cream and dinner.

It turns out hitting her head and almost scaring her parents to death is all it takes for their daughter to win her mom over in regards to strawberry ice cream for dinner.

“This is the best day”, proclaims the three-year-old when the little family is gathered around the kitchen table with matching pink bowls.

“Your daughter, I swear”, mutters Amy while side-eyeing Jake, who just grins.

Their daughter is truly in paradise, because her evening doesn’t end with ice cream for dinner but continues instead with bedtime stories in her parents bed.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m pretty sure Lee thinks you’re the best mom in the world today”, Jake whispers when Leah’s fallen asleep contently sandwiched between them, holding a plastic Ninja Turtles figurine (it’s Donatello’s turn tonight) she insisted to sleep with to her chest, and Amy is stroking their daughter’s mocha brown curls with one hand.

“It was such a different scream”, she replies after a while, not quite meeting his eyes. “I’ve always known her screams. Crying from hunger, crying from anger, crying from being tired. I know those. But this…” She shakes her head again. “She was terrified, Jake. Actually in pain. And I could feel my blood freeze to ice, and it was the worst thing I’ve experienced, and nobody ever prepared me for this.”

“Maternal instincts? Being a parent?”

“Mm-hmm. Terrible.” Amy laughs quietly.”In all seriousness, I don’t think I can stand her ever getting hurt again.”

“Well, she has my genes, so it’s probably bound to happen.”

“Your genes are stupid.”

“Says the woman who’s reproducing with them for the second time”, he snorts, pointing to the bump where their second kid is being active enough for him to see the movements from the outside. “Anything to say to your defense?”

“I guess I’m pretty stupid too.”

[hriemens]

Little Love

Little Love: A Journey through Space, Time and Love

A ten-minute play by Hendrik Riemens.

Copyright (c) 2017 This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.

{Lights up on Mary and Jerry, who are frantically pacing back-and-forth in the middle of their living room. Something they find traumatic has clearly just taken place. They are centerstage right}

Mary:

Oh Jerry, I’m worried.

Jerry:

I know Mary, I know. I’m worried too, believe it or not.

Mary:

He’s just never behaved like this before. This is so unlike him.

Jerry:

What can I say Mary? We raised a strong boy. A rebel. A rolling-stone. He obeys no man and kneels to no creator.

Mary:

But to do something like this? Something so violent, so rash, so insensitive? I just, I can’t believe it.

Jerry:

I’m sorry honey. And I’m even sorrier to tell you it’ll probably happen again/

Mary:

OH NO! {Nearly faints, but like, not at all. She’s fine} If he slams another door in this house I’ll really faint!

Jerry:

Perhaps it’d be best if we give him some alone time.

Mary:

Or perhaps we should talk to him, show him that we’re there for him and that we still love him.

Jerry:

Oh drop the act woman! It’s not the end of the world for Christ’s sake. Mary you gotta keep it together. We need to show a firm hand right now... Jesus H. Fuck, you really put the mother in smother, you know that—

{Jerry gets interrupted as lights go out on Stage Right and immediately lights go up on Stage Left, where downstage, a lot closer to the audience than his parents, appears a young boy}

Ezekiel:

I’m sorry, you’ll have to excuse my father. He’s just one of those people. But, to his defense, so is my mother... hm... {Begins to ponder which of his parents is actually weirder} You know, I guess they’re both pretty peculiar. Oh, wait, where are my manners, I’m so sorry, Hi! I’m Ezekiel, the 10 year old child of Jerry and Mary Cook. If you didn’t quite understand what you just witnessed earlier, allow me to clarify: I just slammed a door on my parents for the first time. What you saw seconds ago was the inevitably-ugly aftermath. However, it’s all their fault. You see, my family can be a very volatile combination when we’re all together, thus we try to refrain from spending time together outside of daily meals, family reunions, etc. It’s not as bad as it sounds, really. We’re not a bad family, we don’t dislike each other, not at all. We care about and love each other, really, but just... put us all in a room together and you may as well be trying to recreate scenes from the Potsdam Conference. {Whispers} For those of you that don’t know what the Potsdam Conference is, it means Stalin, Truman and Churchill in the same room. {Whispers a little lower} For those of you that don’t know who Stalin, Truman or Churchill are, please leave right now. So, as I was saying, I think this might be the moment where some background on the three dynamic Cooks might help give you a better understanding of the bigger picture. Let’s begin with Mary Cook. {Spotlight on Mary Cook, who is standing stage right. She’s got a big smile on. Oh Mary} My Mom’s quite simple: of the two, she loves me the most, for she always dreamt of having her first-born be a boy, something her school-mates used to make fun of for some reason. Growing up she really wanted to be a musician, and unlike most successful musicians, actually went to school for it. But, you know, once Jerry shagged her up and I came into the picture, it was time for dreams to become reality and my mom decided to give up music in order to raise me full time. As it happens, it was a very good decision, for I turned out to be quite the handful. On the flip side, one of my favorite childhood memories is me “bathing” in the kitchen sink as I watched my mom cooking while she sang Josephine Baker’s “Don’t Touch Me Tomato” {In the background, Mary Cook begins to lightly but beautifully sing “Don’t Touch Me Tomato” by Josephine Baker}. Next, there’s Jerry Cook. The 8th of the eight Cook boys, my Dad’s always felt like he’s had to show {Imitating Jerry earlier} “a firm hand.” Because of this he’s got quirky rules behind what a man has to do to be respected, such as:

{Spotlight on Jerry Cook who is standing next to Mary Cook, yet they are not conscious of each others’ closeness. Jerry begins to demonstrate}

Jerry:

A respected man is he who takes a spoonful of vinegar like it’s a glass of water. A respected man is he who walks on rocks and other sharp and potentially-skin-cutting objects barefoot. A respected man is he who depends on no jacket during the winter, for the cold is only felt by the weak. In fact, a respected man is he who is never cold. That’s simpler. Maybe I should just say that?

Ezekiel:

He’s also not very smart, and only named me Ezekiel because he told his very religious in-laws that his favorite Bible passage was Ezekiel 25:17. Sadly enough, despite watching Pulp Fiction numerous times with subtitles, he still mis-spelled my name on my birth certificate, so I’m technically named “Ezikil.”

Lastly, there’s me, Ezekiel. I’m no genius, but I do have a photographic memory, which has meant that in my last 10 years of life I’ve jumped one grade level, making me the youngest member of my 6th grade class. I’ve won five Spelling-Bees at a national level. I speak three different languages, English, Spanish and French, which really comes in handy every time my dad tries to miseducate the rest of my already-uneducated family by lying and saying stuff like “Adieu” is “goodbye” in Spanish. But, most importantly, I remember perfectly every passing second of my life since I met my soulmate the first day of school in 6th grade Algebra, Georgina Duke {Lights off on Jerry and Mary Cook, as the spotlight moves center stage wherein stands Georgina Duke, a pretty blonde girl, wearing a pretty dress. She’s your typical Middle School crush. You can picture it yourself}. You see, despite all the great background information I’ve just given you on my myself and the two maniacs that have both birthed and raised me, the root of this story lies in Georgina Duke. Georgina was like no one I’d seen before in my life, she was angel-like {Georgina Duke puts on a Halo}, and her hair flowed like a peaceful river {Georgina shakes her head, which moves her hair like a “peaceful river”}, and her voice was even prettier than my mom’s {Georgina says “Hi”}.

Georgina:

Hi!

Ezekiel:

You see? Beautiful! And, as it turns out, Georgina is a visionary just like me, and when I confessed my undying love for her behind the school bleachers on the 2nd week anniversary of my having seen her angelic face in Algebra class, she said:

{Lights up on centerstage, where Georgina and Ezekiel stand in front of bleachers. Ezekiel is on his knees holding a Ring-Pop}

Georgina:

Oh my god Ezekiel, no man in my life has ever been as romantic as you. Who cares what others might think. I might be 11 years old and you might be 10. But you know what? To hell with society. Time is relative and age is just a number. Now give me that Ring-Pop you sly devil.

Ezekiel:

Georgina, as long as you’re by my side, you will have as many Ring-Pops and Capri Sun juice packs as your little heart desires.

{Lights back to Ezekiel on downstage left} 

So, since there was clearly nothing in our work lives that would interfere with our love for each other, and we were clearly prepared to take our relationship to the next level, Georgina and I decided to put our passion and longing for each other to the test:

Ezekiel and Georgina:

We shall wait until our four month anniversary to finally kiss each other.

Ezekiel:

To little surprise, our love-candle’s light never dimmed or weakened. On the contrary, it only shined brighter and burnt slower as we got to know each other intellectually. For example, we found out that Georgina and I have a lot of the same hobbies, which in my eyes only made her more beautiful. These hobbies include (As Ezekiel states the hobbies, the centerstage Georgina and Ezekiel re-appear and they demonstrate what all the hobbies look like): astronomy, stamp collecting, cartography, playing the board game “Risk” competitively, playing the board game “Monopoly” recreationally, watching Youtube videos of Neil deGrasse Tyson, and last but not least, making fun of our parents.

{Lights out on centerstage Georgina and Ezekiel}

Now, as the big day drew closer and closer, Georgina and I set certain ground rules and expectations to make the occasion picture perfect.

{Lights back on centerstage Georgina and Ezekiel}

Georgina:

It must be in a private location

Ezekiel:

And an intimate one as well

Georgina:

There will be no touching of anything other than the face

Ezekiel:

And for sanitation reasons must not last longer than 22 minutes. Agreed?

Georgina: 

Agreed

Ezekiel:

Are your parents out of town that day?

Georgina:

No. Yours?

Ezekiel:

No. Nevertheless, my parents go to the supermarket every Wednesday from 3 to 4:30. I could just tell them I’ll take the bus home 

Georgina:

And we go to your house 

Ezekiel:

Together

Georgina:

And we kiss there

Ezekiel:

Yes

Georgina: 

Yes

Ezekiel:

Are you comfortable with that? 

Georgina: 

Yes. Are you?

Ezekiel:

Yes.

Georgina: 

Agreed then. Your house from 3 to 4:30.

{Back to stage left Ezekiel}

So, as I told you a while back, the mental breakdown my parents were having at the beginning of our journey through space, time and love, was all their fault, for moments before Georgina and I were about to taste each other’s sweet sweet angelic lips, I heard two dreaded calls:

{Lights up on centerstage Georgina and Ezekiel, in Ezekiel’s bedroom, about to kiss. And, lights up on stage right Mary and Jerry}

Mary:

Ezekiel, baby, is that you? 

Jerry:

E-Z, boy are you home? 

Georgina:

Are those your parents?

Ezekiel:

I swear Georgina, they weren’t meant to be home.

Georgina:

We agreed on privacy and intimacy Ezekiel.

Ezekiel:

Worry not my Princess. I’ll take care of this. {Centerstage Ezekiel exits his bedroom to face his parents} Mother and Father, I asked that I not be disturbed till the latest hour of supper for I’ve gotten my first ever A- today in school. Please, keep your adult shenanigans to the minimum as I’m in dire need of peace and tranquility. That’ll be all. Thank you and goodbye {Centerstage Ezekiel goes back into his room and promptly slams the door shut. Instead of checking up on him, they begin to have the dialogue sequence from the beginning of the play. His plan worked. Lights back on stage right Ezekiel}

You see, if Jerry and Mary had just been in the supermarket like they were supposed to, I would have never had to slam my bedroom door on them or even lied to them—I obviously didn’t get an A- on anything, I mean, cmon. But hey, sometimes you gotta risk it {Lights back on centerstage Georgina and Ezekiel}, to get the biscuit {Centerstage Georgina and Ezekiel kiss. As previously agreed, only touching each other’s faces}.

The End.

[thisshipiscanon]

Entry no.1          Snowy Qrow

► Winter is Coming - Radical Face

Entry no.2          Snowy Oz

► Fellow in the North - Cold Weather Company

Entry no.3          Falling...

► Avalanche! Oh Avalanche! - Gregory and the Hawk

Entry no.4          Is Love Alive?

► Winter Song - Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson

Qrow wrote thousands of letters to Ozpin in his free time.

Oz died before he could send a single one of them.

(also at http://archiveofourown.org/works/13101117)

Ozpin, you are a wonderful human being, and I’ll stay by your side, for as long as time lets us.

A chill swept over Qrow as he read the unsent letters to Ozpin. The letters were either too lovey, or explicit to send to his friend. His only friend really. Qrow didn’t want to lose him. In the end, he did anyways.

I wish I could express my love to you, in actions, rather than words. Yet, I know I’ll never send these letters. I wish I could.

Love didn’t come easy to Qrow. Only when he was writing these letters, could he express his feelings. Ozpin must have been the only person he loved. His sister hates him, their parents abandoned them, and his teammates never talked to him unless they needed to.

I wish many things. But I wish most of all to be with you.

Oz could never love him. He would have heard rumors about Ozpin loving him from Oobleck or someone. Maybe Oz didn’t want to tell anyone? Who knows? He’s dead now.

I love you, now and forever,

Qrow

His signing off point. When was this? A week or two before he died? A month? Qrow felt tears pricking his eyes. He took a swig from his flask.

Hey, Oz, wanna be my boyfriend?

XXOO, Qrow

This one he wrote when he was drunk. Well, more drunk than usual. Yes, Ozpin was a teacher at Beacon at the time, even though he was only 4 years older than him. Thank the maidens he didn’t send it. That would be an incredibly awkward talk to have with Oz. Now that he wasn’t a student, it would be more accepted to date him.

Qrow needed to write. Vent his feelings on paper. Well, he really needed to vent to someone. That’s when he felt a chill again.

He should probably turn the heat up a bit. Qrow walked outside his room and went to turn the heat up. That’s when he saw Glynda.

Qrow felt the chill again. “Hey Gladdy, is it cold in here? Or is that just me?”

“Qrow, you’re drunk.” Glynda scowled.

“Well, yes I am… But I was being serious.” Qrow sighed.

“Well, it’s actually quite warm. Now, I’ve got to go on my way.” Glynda turned and started to walk away.

Qrow grabbed Glynda’s arm and she spun around surprised. “Qrow. I have to go.”

Qrow bit his lip, and debated whether to tell her about the letters. “Glynda, you know Ozpin.”

“Yes, of course I know him! Qrow, I should be going-”

Qrow cut her off, “I wrote him a letter every day, since the second year I came here to when he died. I never sent these letters.”

Glynda paused, “And?”

“And these were love letters.” He took his hand off her arm.

Glynda mouth stood agape, before she finally came to her senses and laughed. “Tell me where these letters are.”

Qrow lead her to his room. He opened his file cabinet, and she saw thousands of letters, some dating a good few years. She picked one up and began to read:

“Dearest Ozpin, I’ll let you know that I’ve loved you for a while and I’d love to … Qrow, how explicit do these get?”

Qrow blushed. “Well, at some times, very. When I’m drunk,”

“You’re always drunk.”

“When I’m extraordinarily drunk, I tend to write a bit more explicitly, like I’d include-”

“Qrow, no details, please. I get the gist. You, Qrow Branwen are hopelessly in love. And I think you know that already.” Glynda smiled sadly. She knew Oz would never come back.

“Thank you Glynda for listening. You should probably get to whatever you were doing.” Qrow looked away, and sat down in his swivel chair.

“Well, I was lying, I didn’t think it was this important.” Glynda chuckled. “Anyways it’d be best to say goodbye now.”

“Goodbye Glynda.” She shut the door.

There was silence after that. Uncomfortable, thick, heavy silence. Qrow paused and began to speak. “I love you Ozpin. Now and forever.” Qrow chuckled. “Why am I saying this? You’re dead.”

“In between Qrow. I’m in between life and death.” A voice that was so familiar, it chilled Qrow to the bone.

“What?” Qrow spun around quickly, “Ozpin?”

Qrow had dissolved into tears at the sight of his friend, almost, could have been lover. “I’ve missed you Qrow.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Qrow ran to hug Oz, but he fell through. “Ozpin, please tell me you’ll come back.”

“I wish I could. Qrow-” Ozpin looked away, “I know, this is a horrible time to say this, but, I love you too... Maidens, I needed to get that off my chest.”

“Why come back now Oz?”

“I needed to tell you that I’ll be watching over Ruby.” Ozpin smiled sadly.

“Alright. Thank you Ozpin… For watching over Ruby.”

“And thank you for protecting Ruby. Qrow, just remember to be careful.”

“I will.”

.+*+.+*+.+*+.

“GUYS!!!” Ruby screeched, running into her dorm. “Ozpin! He’s- He’s here!”

Yang jumped to her feet, bored of the game her, Weiss, and Blake were playing. “Where is he Ruby?”

“Right behind me!” Everyone looked behind Ruby, but they saw no Ozpin.

“Guys, come on! You… You can’t see him?” Ruby looked shaken.

“Ruby, they can’t see you. I’m… your guardian angel.” Ozpin smiled.

“Wait! So, you’re dead? But I can see you. Because you’re my guardian angel. And I’m just talking to myself, aren’t I?”

Yang placed her hand on Ruby’s shoulder, “Ruby. We need to tell the teachers that were close to Oz. Oobleck, maybe Port. I guess Glynda and Ironwood… Oh and Qrow!”

Yang proceeded to wiggle her eyebrows at Ruby. They both knew of Qrow’s letters. “Ozpin, who would you like to see first? Well… you see them, they don’t.”

“Qrow.”

“Qrow?” Ozpin nodded.

“We’ll stay here Ruby.” Blake and Weiss agreed. “You guys are closest with Qrow anyways.”

“Alright. We’ll see you later.” Yang smiled and waved.

The three walked past many doors, finally arriving at Qrow’s. “Qrow! Open the door!” Ruby screeched.

“No need to yell Ruby!” Qrow said, opening the door.

Qrow stood in shock. “Oz?”

“You can see him? Ozpin, why can he see you?”

“I have a close bond with him. The only reason you can see me Ruby, is because I’m your guardian angel.” Qrow face flushed as Ozpin was talking.

“So what now?” Qrow asked.

“We go and tell the other teachers. Other than that? We wait. We’ll fight Salem. I’ll protect Ruby as well as I can.”

“Alright. I’ll… see you on the other side then?”

“Indubitably.”

.+*+.+*+.+*+.

Ruby fought Salem. Many died, and yet many got together. Nature works in mysterious ways, always needing to reproduce.

Yang came into Ruby’s room, “There’s a letter for you from New Beacon.”

“If it’s from Qrow I’ll read it later.” She chuckled, “He makes sure to send me a note every day.”

“It’s not.”

“Can you read it sis? I’m just a bit busy, working on plans for a new class for New Beacon, remember?”

Yang nodded, and read, “On… On Saturday, December twenty-third... Qrow Branwen was murdered by Tyrian. Tyrian had not been notified that the war was over, and you know him,” Yang added, wiping away the blobs running down her face, “he never backs down from a fight.”

Yang kept going, Ruby looking horrified, “His ashes are buried here, until the remaining members of his family (Ruby Rose and Yang Xiao Long) can send for him.”

“Ruby?”

“Yang.” The elder dropped the letter and ran towards her sister, engulfing her into a hug.

“I’m so sorry Ruby, I thought you wouldn’t have to go through this for a long time.”

“I know.” Ruby said, muffled by Yang’s shirt.

.+*+.+*+.+*+.

Ozpin was gone at that point, his duty to Ruby done. Salem was dead. He marched up to the gates of the afterlife, meeting Qrow on the other side. Ozpin kissed the shorter man’s forehead in greeting. Qrow looked back at life and made sure to send one last call out to Ruby, making sure she knew he was fine.

That morning, a crow woke Ruby up. She smiled.

[westudentflower]

Thoughts on relationships, careers, and life as a young adult in 2020

Sunday, February 2, 2020 (aka Super Bowl Sunday)

During service this morning, the pastor made the analogy that unlike the Super Bowl, everyone is playing on the field. No one is a spectator. We are all part of God’s world and his community. He also made the point that God doesn’t need our help to fulfill his will. Some of you are “helping God find you a spouse,” he joked. The congregation laughed. But instead of laughing, I thought to myself—is he implying that we shouldn’t go on Tinder? Yes, we trust God and that his Will be done—but that doesn’t mean we sit around waiting for the perfect guy to show up at our doorstep, right?

I’ve been thinking a lot about guys—or I guess I should say, the lack of guys in my life. More specifically, the lack of a specific type of guy in my life. Some of my low-key panic about this is probably a cultural/social thing, as I haven’t met many people who are 22 and have never dated before. But I want to share my life and thoughts and feelings with someone. I imagine meeting that special someone, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, but how exactly do you go about doing that? I don’t want to have to go to online dating apps, but it sure seems now that that’s the only place to have a chance of finding interested single men. There should be less stigma around using dating apps just to make friends and meet new people, my friend said. Still, I would much rather meet someone through more “natural”, in-person means, whether through school or work, or a mutual friend, or through volunteer or some other group (I just joined a tennis league), or even randomly on the subway, but today’s culture makes it more and more difficult for that movie magic to happen. I feel like there’s a stigma around talking to strangers nowadays, and flirting and approaching people - it might even be a side effect of the #MeToo movement. The first impression might be the only chance to feel an immediate connection, and if there’s no spark from those few minutes of small talk, then that’s it. And more and more people are going on dating apps and spending more time online and less time in person. At the end of the day, it might not even matter how you first met your partner. Still, I wish our dating culture was different and more accessible. Do I regret going to a women’s college? Sometimes, I have to admit. Especially in down moments like these.

Would I want to have sex before marriage? I don’t think so, though it’ll be a while before I’ll have to deal with that question yet. I feel like I would be very anxious to do it - like how do you actually get to that point? What does it feel like? Isn’t it gross? This isn’t something that’s ever talked about, with friends or family. I feel like a lot of things about relationships are not talked about.

After the tennis match, our team went to a brewery to drink beer. We talked about things from our favorite colors to bipolar disorder to relationships. One guy was seriously trying to convince me to get drunk sometime. Talking unfiltered makes you a more fun person, and it shows the “real you.” You need to live life a little! he would say. I can’t say I disagree with him entirely - I would want to get tipsy at least once in my life because I’m genuinely curious to see what it feels like. I don’t like the taste, and I know drinking is just a temporary high, but I think it would be an interesting, maybe even eye-opening experience to talk without thinking, especially someone like me who restricts myself in outward expression. And I do feel like I’m not “living life”—I didn’t have the typical fun college experience of partying and going out to bars and clubs, but I’m also not fulfilling my idea of living life, which would revolve more around doing crazy things like climbing mountains and exploring the city and zip lining and going backpacking and traveling the world.

I would say there’s a few things missing in my life.

1. Having deep theological conversations, like what does it mean to be saved and who is saved. I like it when the pastor gives philosophical/theoretical type sermons. Even as a Christian I still doubt, and I don’t always find apologetics to be convincing. The pastor gave a really intriguing sermon today on a tough Bible passage in Romans. God chooses which people are made as “vessels of mercy” and which are “vessels of destruction.” Is it unfair that Jacob was favored but Esau hated? Yes it is, yet God is still good and merciful and just. If he was fair, we would all be in hell. The very concept of justice depends on God. We don’t know the math behind his decision making, but we know he is motivated by something deeper than fairness: the justice of his will, the demonstration and exaltation of his nature. So does it even matter what we do? God does things we don’t get to decide. The pastor described that just like diamonds are forged through heat and pressure, virtue is forged through the truth revealed in the tensions present in the Bible. It’s not about having a systematic theology of how God makes decisions, it’s about being virtuous and having humility. If we demand to understand the inner workings of how God runs the universe, then we don’t actually trust him. Faith is not based on my approval of His work, but rather, my experience of His character. To me, it’s a satisfying answer that doesn’t answer the question. If God decides who is saved, and we choose to believe in God and in the Bible, were we then predestined to make this conscious decision? Is Christianity really a religion for ALL people, where ALL people are welcomed into God’s family? How can we blame our friends and family members for their unbelief or convince them to believe the gospel if God may have already molded them into “vessels of destruction”? Part of the journey of faith is struggling with these seemingly paradoxes, and I believe we are made stronger through these tensions, and these tensions can be used for a good purpose. But a lot of things we just don’t understand, and we have to trust that God is a good and a just God.

2. Intellectually stimulating work. I do like my current job - the firm does good work, even if I’m not super close to my colleagues and my job is more literature review aka google searching and basic excel stuff. But I think I could be doing more exciting things. I want to live in a different culture, get out of my comfort zone, try new things, and work in the government and in policy (which gave me more doubt as to whether law school was necessary to do what I want to do, which is also in doubt—my determination to do well on the LSAT and get into a top law school is being overshadowed by yet another existential crisis over what I would want to do with a law degree—I don’t see myself going the corporate or tax law route, and my imaginations about saving the planet through environmental law don’t seem that realistic or rewarding anymore…I could also make just as much meaningful impact working in the sustainability team at a large company, or doing policy analysis in a government agency, but those don’t seem as exciting either. So then what does??). Another regret I have is not interviewing for the Peace Corps my senior year of college. My roommate’s friend met her boyfriend, who did the Peace Corps in Peru, through a friend who also did Peace Corps—they met at a reunion event and now have an adorable 6-month old. Maybe I would be better off and happier if I lived and worked in a different country, rather than Boston? Not necessarily relationship-wise, but just doing something that’s more rewarding.

3. And the gap that hurts the most: A serious, romantic relationship. My generation grew up being told that as women, we can now put career over family. We can now have both. People are marrying, having kids later, more and more women are entering the workforce and having successful careers, we’re making good progress in terms of gender equality in the workplace. But I rarely hear anything about family being more important than career. Your career can change any minute, but your family is who you live for, your family is what sticks by you for the rest of your life - your family is who you go home to at the end of the day, it’s who you spend the holidays with, it’s who you spend your most treasured moments with. Our legacy lives on in our children; we were biologically made to reproduce. I would put family over career in a heartbeat — assuming I find someone I can know intimately, and who really understands me. I feel like nothing else—where we live, what we do—really matters, as long as we’re doing it with someone we mutually love and care about. Even long-distance wouldn’t be a problem—there are so many ways to stay connected, especially in today’s age of technological progress. There’s always a way to work things out, as long as that foundational commitment is there. I don’t know anyone who wants to live their whole life single, or not have any children. What is life without romance? Is there any meaning and happiness in a life without love?

What I can be thankful for in my life:

1. Wonderful friends and roommates. Last night I met up with a few college friends over hotpot to celebrate a friend’s birthday - I got to not only catch up with friends but also talk deeper over things I wouldn’t talk about with coworkers or other friends, including relationships. Which can be liberating. At church I also met a new friend from Shanghai, with whom we had an almost immediate connection.  

2. Money to buy the food I want and the things I want (mainly food) and do the things I want to do (a lot of work events are coming up like a Bruins game and ski trip and cooking class!)

3. Dreams and aspirations, and free time to reflect and pursue them

Being in a temporary stage of my life means that my life is unstable and uncertain, which is unsettling, worrisome, and scary. Sure, my life is fine. It could definitely be a lot worse—I could be burning in the Australian wildfires, dying from the coronavirus which has now killed over 200 in China, or being wrapped up in the Trump impeachment trials. Yet it’s not as great or exciting as it could be either. I don’t think I’m happy. Life is just—okay. And that’s partly what makes it unsatisfying and uneventful—nothing’s really happening. And I’m the only one who can change that.

[graphicabyss]

K-chan news 2017.06.13 where Koyama learns Tegoshi is human after all, and they talk about fathers, funerals and divorces  

So as promised here’s the transcript. I skipped non-essential parts but the two main talks are in full so you can hear it from the guys directly. There might still be minor inaccuracies, mostly because Japanese language itself is tricky but I did mt best.

By the way, the video I attached is missing about a minute, from when they start talking about Sakura Girl. I couldn’t find another one and my audio file is too big for uploading. 

The intro was pretty normal although Tegoshi wasn’t as hyped as usual. Koyama reminded Tegoshi about his supposed regular j-web that Koyama previously tried to talk him into. Basically, Koyama wanted him to do a sort of counseling for people since many messages come asking for Tegoshi’s advice. Start at 1:15

K: But it can’t work out if Tegoshi-san isn’t positive. He needs to have that kind of mentality to answer to fan’s worries. But once in a while he gets sad and it’s cute. ^^

T: You mean the time you came to that yakiniku restaurant?

K: Yeah, not long ago... At midnight? Was it after 12?

T: That’s right. After 12.

K:  I got a message from Tegoshi. “Kei-chan, come!” I thought “What’s this?” Being called by Tegoshi in private. To the yakiniku restaurant. So I went there. Right after he called, about 20 minutes after.

T: I think so, yes.

K: And when I got there in the very corner of the restaurant there was ti-iny Tegoshi. A deflated Tegoshi~ I was like “What happened? What is it, Tegoshi?” And he just said “Un”. After that we discussed things, I gave him advice like “It’s going to be fine, Tegoshi.” And Tegoshi’s friends were there too so I talked with them and we were like ‘Ah, so at times like this Tegoshi gets upset’. [not clear who said this] And - can I say this? Can I?

T: Yeah.

K: Tegoshi was wearing a cap. And he was hiding there, his eyes. He pulled it so nobody could see. And then suddenly I heard a voice, I’ll reproduce it: *sobbing* He was crying! This blond! 

T: This is funny! So funny.

K: You were crying! So since he was crying I hugged him and asked him what was the matter. So I’m saying that Tegoshi also cries sometimes. There was all sorts of content-

T:  Even the hardest of hearts can be moved to tears​. [A proverb, literally “even in devil’s eyes there are tears]

K: Right, right. After that I arranged various things and was able to solve some things to an extent but at the moment I thought “Ah, that guy is human!”

T: Don’t I normally seem to be human? Do you think I’m a Terminator?)

K: Yeah! You were kinda cute.

T: Really?

K: After that we messaged each other quite a bit.

T: We did, we did.

K: On personal matters, private matters. So I remembered it, this guy though he’s an adult he’s always fooling around. But Tegoshi’s friends, they were not immune to his tears. They were like “Huh? This person is crying?”

T: They were.

K: Weren’t they? But they were good people. Well, if anything happens, let’s support each other. 

T: That’s right. That’s how fellow members are.

K: Each other’s #1 allies.

Note how Koyama asked Tegoshi’s permission to tell the story and specifically the part where he was crying and he let him. Maybe he wanted us to know. But anyway, I’m glad. Before only Koyashige were at a level to call each other in the middle of the night but now Koyama and Tegoshi are too.

The second part started with one message that opened a deep talk. The message was from a girl who said that her emotions instantly show on her face. She felt as an adult this could be a problem for her in the future and asked for advice.

K: It doesn’t show on your face.

T: It doesn’t?

K: Well, in the dressing room. For example, you’d be thinking about a lot of things but when you go out to meet the audience there’s a moment when you change into Tegoshi Yuya, I can tell.

T: I see.

K: It doesn’t show.

T: I see.

K: So what is it? This switch.

T: I don’t know but there are fans who come to concerts, right? They came to have fun 100%. So no matter what - entertainers are people too - no matter what happens in their private I don’t think I should bring it onstage, right?

K: Well, yes.

T: As a professional. So of course no matter what happens, for example, about 3 years ago my father died, even painful things, it has nothing to do with the fans.

K: Right.

T: So you can’t show it.

K: And at the time when Tegoshi’s father died we had to record a performance at a music show and I saw Tegoshi had a suit with him. I was wondering what he needed the suit for, it was only after that I realized he went to the funeral. 

T: Yes, I was the chief mourner. 

K: But that day Tegoshi didn’t say anything. Without saying anything, he proceeded with a dispassionate face. And after that he went there.

T: I changed into the suit and went.

K: And at the time? You thought you can’t show it?

T: Yes.

K: I don’t know, maybe if we had the relationship he have now you would have told me.

T: Perhaps.

K: I don’t know about the relationship with the members but at that time you felt... it was hard, wasn’t it?

T: It was hard.

K: Of course it would be, your father died. My parents are divorced but a father is still a father.

T: Right? Since you’re related by blood. It the same about standing on stage and this too... I think that he wouldn’t want that, my father. Me getting depressed. If I did he’d probably look at me from Heaven like “Are you stupid?” 

K: I see.

T: “Why are you getting depressed because of me?” I thought he would say that. It’s the same at concerts. He wouldn’t want me to get upset. Since the fans probably love the Tegoshi who innocently shouts “Yay!” “Okay!” So no matter what happens the depressed Tegoshi is not who the fans love so I always come out cheerful.

K: You switch.

T: Yeah.

K: Ah, by the way, there’s a good story. Tegoshi’s father really loved “Sakura Girl”.

T: Right, right. He loved it.

K: When Tegoshi sings “Sakura Girl” in the intro he’d be like “gu-”. 

T: I am?

K: Ah, maybe you don’t notice it. You’re like “Ok, let’s sing it!” It’s in your expression. 

T: Oh, really?

K: So of course you have special feelings for “Sakura Girl”?

T: For me it’s a special song.

K: Of course. You can feel it.

T: So at the funeral... my father loved NEWS songs a lot. So [someone] made a medley of NEWS songs and played it there. At the funeral like “Don!” He wouldn’t want it to be gloomy.

K: That’s nice.

T: I though it would be nice if the funeral was cheerful. Rather than one with everyone crying. He became free. He’s having a good time in heaven, it felt good.

K: Yes, yes. For me I never attended a funeral of anyone in my closest family so I wouldn’t know.

T: Among my friends there are quite a lot of people with divorced parents.I tell them. I advice them to go meet their fathers. You never know what happens to a person. So I say it. “You absolutely have to meet him. Since you’re related by blood”. 

K: That’s right. Well, the mother’s side may be proud and don’t want the kids to see their fathers but for a child he’s still a father?

T: The husband and wife might break up and become unrelated, but for the child they are still their parents. I think no matter what happens, they’re still related by blood.

K: That’s right, there’s that.

T: Yes, they should overcome it with that feeling.

After that Kei-chan read the next message which was from a Tegoshi fan who said she used to hope their fates might overlap one day but recently her boyfriend proposed to her. Tegoshi started making weird sounds and you’d think the show would get to its normal course but then he started talking about how he could totally marry a fan since they know him the best and then they began to talk about marriage and kids and got a bit carried away.

At least the ending was normal with the two of them getting excited, Koyama notably more than Tegoshi. It was good.

Not the kind of talks you’ll hear often on k-chan news, especially one with Tegoshi. Interestingly, the previous week’s episode was pretty normal. Anyway, my general opinion didn’t change much. I understand where he’s coming from when he hides his emotions to please the fans and admire his ability to be professional but sometimes he is really trying too hard. Besides, no matter how much he hides it in the end the fans will still find out and be even more worried. But he opened up now and I think that’s a big thing. I feel like this tour has really changed things. They always say they got closer after a tour but this time I think it’s tangible, especially with Koyatego, Tegoshige and Koyamasu. I think they learned to rely on each other more and that’s a wonderful thing. 

[dotbammie]

Protection// Im Jaebum(Part 9)

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Supernatural, Vampire

Summary: After being saved from an absolute stranger, you find yourself in a different world; A world you never knew existed, a world where you find yourself less protected than before.

Author’s Note:Things are going to start getting intense c: I hope you enjoy!

xoxo Sara

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12

You felt nerves begin to rise in the pit of your stomach when you and Bambam arrived back at the dorm.  You knew that the boys weren’t home yet, and that they wouldn’t be home any time soon, but for some reason, you felt as if they were watching you, as if they knew where exactly you were and, for some reason, you could feel that Jaebum was rushing back to the dorm. You could feel your insides boil and begin to hurt for some reason, but you didn’t know why.

Whenever you thought of Jaebum, you got this overwhelming sensation in your stomach, one that you found incredibly hard to put into proper words, and then afterwards, it was almost like you could feel the emotions that he was feeling at that moment. It was almost as if you could feel the true feelings of his heart. You wondered why it was like that, but you were positive that if you asked one of the boys, they would tell you it was because you were ‘meant to be’ with him.

Both you and Bambam sat down on the couch once you arrived home.You began reading your books and looking through them for why you were feeling while he flicked through the channels on the Tv. You had put the book dedicated to soul-mates down, and began reading about the breeding of vampires.

“Hey, Bambam,” You hummed softly to him, nudging your foot gently into his side to try to get his attention, “It says in this book that vampires can’t  have children. Does that mean that all of you were turned into vampires by someone else?”

“Well, that’s not necessarily what it means,” Bambam said, shoving your foot from his side, “If you’re talking about.. Well, the old team, then yes, most of us were turned into Vampires by someone else. Most of them were turned into vampires along with some of their family members. Jaebum and Jinyoung were the only ones who weren’t turned into vampires. Yugyeom and his mom were turned when he was younger, I think Youngjae and his sister were turned… Mark, I’m not so sure. Jackson and I were the only ones turned in our families, though. I think Mark was the only one in his family that was turned as well, but I could be wrong, he never really talked about it.”

“Then… Wait, I don’t understand, that actually makes no sense,” You sighed, rubbing your temples slightly as you squeezed your eyes shut, “Why is vampire anatomy so confusing? Why is this all so confusing?”

“Don’t read too much into all of this, (Y/N), it’ll just hurt your head. Trust me, I would know,” Bambam chuckled, taking the book you were reading from your hands and closing it before placing it back into your hands, “Vampires can’t reproduce once they’re turned. So, if theres an announcement of a miraculous birth in the Vampire Realm, then it is usually between a human and a vampire. Usually, the vampire is the male, because vampire women can’t birth vampire babies. The old lure about us not having blood circulating through our veins isn’t true, it’s just that we don’t have enough iron in our blood. Our blood is very thin and we tend to have anemia, which is why our skin is so cold and whatever.”

“Okay,” you nodded softly, attempting to understand what he was saying, little by little “But then, I read in another book that if you were to choose to mate with a human rather than a vampire, you were basically exiled from the Vampire Realm, so how does that make sense?”

“Well yeah, mating with a human is forbidden here, but it still happens. It happens very rarely, but it will happen once in awhile. You don’t think that the Vampire world has rule breakers like the human world?” Bambam asked, chuckling at you softly, “That’s actually what happened with Jaebum and Jinyoung’s parents. That’s what happened with you too. Maybe that’s why everyone thinks that you’re meant to be with one of them.”

“Wait, Jinyoung and Jaebum had a vampire and human parents? So that means that they aren’t full-blood vampires? How are they the strongest on your team if they aren’t full-blood?”

“Why did you think that they’re the strongest of our team? Because they were some magical, full-blooded vampires? It’s actually quite the opposite. Usually, if you’re a half-blood, it could go one of two ways. You’re either really strong, or really really weak. They seemed to both get all of the good traits of both vampires and humans, though, so being half-blood worked in their favor. They both possess superhuman like abilities, they can both go outside in the sun for long periods of time unlike the rest of us, and blood isn’t as vital to them as it is to us fullbloods. Those two can survive for weeks without feeding, because their body can live better off of supplements. If you’re turned, you lose taste in almost everything you used to eat, but when you’re a half-blood, you can basically eat anything, so they’re pretty lucky in that sense.”

“So if you’re turned, you get all of the characteristics of a vampire, but if you’re an offspring of a vampire, you don’t. I thought it would be the other way around.”

“Again, don’t look too far into it,” Bambam chuckled, patting your head gently, “I’m glad you’re getting into your heritage. If everything goes well, you may be ruling the Vampire kingdom like your mom did.”

You chuckled softly, putitng the book down as you rested your hands on your tummy. You began to feel the warm and fuzzy feeling you get sometimes, when you suddenly began to feel hot with anger.

“Bambam, I don’t know why, but I have a feeling Ja-”

Before you could finish, the door flung open, and standing there was Jaebum jaw clenched with the veins in his neck beginning to pop out.

“Yah, Jaebum,” Jackson called out distantly from down the hallway, “Don’t kill him yet! Let us come so we can watch!”

“You’re dead,” Jaebum growled, pointing at Bambam, who was now sitting with his eyes wide open, “You’re dead meat. How could you let her go outside?”

“Woah woah woah,” Bambam said, standing up quickly and holding his hands up in defense, before pulling you up and using you as a meat shield, “Why would you think I did that? Who gave you that insane idea?”

“Jaebum,” You said softly, “Where is this coming from?”

“You were thinking about it. You guys were out all day so I made us rush home as soon as we possibly could,” Jaebum said, eyes locked on Bambam as if he could stare right through your body, “And now, I’m here to beat up Bambam.”

“Wait, excuse me?” You asked, looking at Jaebum with a raised eyebrow, “What to you mean ‘I was thinking about it?’ Can you read my mind or something?”

“Dude, you never told her?” Bambam chuckled from behind you, holding your shoulders, “Woooow. And Youngjae didn’t get you a book on vampire soul-mates either. It seems like both of them were trying to hide this from you.”

Just as Bambam let out that accusation, Youngjae entered the room, panting slightly after trying to catch up with both Jaebum and Jackson, “Why am I being brought into the lovers quarrel?”

“I’m confused,” you said, looking at Jaebum while clenching your hands into tight fists, “You tell me what’s going on right now,  Jaebum.”

“Since you’re apparently his soul-mate, you two have a special connection,” Jackson sighed, coming up next to Jaebum and flicking him gently on the forehead, “He could read your mind, feel your emotions, and other things. He is a part of your soul, after all. So he can tell exactly what’s wrong and he feels your pain. You can’t do all of that yet, Because even though you aren’t a full-fledged vampire, you’re a different case. Since your mom infused vampire plasma in with her own, you get all of the perks of being a vampire, but it doesn’t seem like they’re… turned on yet, I guess. They’ll probably be more useful if you get turned.”

“So, what you’re telling me, is that Jaebum has been able to read my mind this whole time? And he hasn’t told me that he can?”

“Bingo,” Bambam said, “It looks like Jaebum is in the dog house now.”

“No, you’re still in trouble,” Jaebum said, looking at Bambam as he took a step closer.

“No, Jaebum, Bambam is right. The conditions of me leaving the apartment was to have someone with me. And I had Bambam with me. Just because it wasn’t you doesn’t mean you have the right to get mad at him. And again, he’s right. Why the heck wouldn’t you tell me that you could read my mind? Why would you read my mind in the first place?”

“It’s not like I can turn it off,” Jaebum argued, “It just happens. But mostly when you’re feeling a really strong emotion. You’re telling me you can’t feel my emotions?”

“Well, I guess I can, but I definitely cannot read your mind.”

“I can’t believe you never told her,” Bambam chuckled, “I was so confused why she didn’t know much about soul-mates, but now I know. It’s because you never told her. This is hilarious.”

“Stop laughing,” Jaebum demanded,  “It’s not funny. She’s angry, I can feel it.”

“Oh I really hope you can feel how angry I am right now. I hope it burns your insides into a crisp.”

You took the book that you had taken out from the library and tossed it at him, hoping that maybe it would hit him, but he caught it.

“How can you hide such an important detail from me?”

“I didn’t mean to hide it from you, I thought you could hear my thoughts too.”

“Yeah, whatever. And you didn’t get the hint that I couldn’t any point in the weeks I’ve been staying here? Why am i still here, anyway? I’m fine, and if The Kin really had that tight of trackers on me, I would have been found already.”

You walked over to the coat-rack and went to grab the coat you were wearing, which was evidently Jaebum’s. You groaned, taking the coat off the hook and pushing past him.

“Where are you going?” Youngjae called out after you, beginning to follow you down the hallway, “It’s so late at night.”

“As far away from him as possible,” You said, trying to mask your anger around Youngjae, as you weren’t mad at him, but at Jaebum, “I hope his insides burn with the intense fires of my rage.”

“(Y/N),” You heard Youngjae call out, but you ignored him, gripping your hands into fists as you went up the stairs.

You found yourself in the cool night air, walking the streets you knew well, but seemed much smaller now without anyone next to you. You looked at your watch, checking the time. “Oh shit, I should go meet Tiffany now,” you said to yourself, picking up your pace so you could make it to the coffee shop as quickly as possible.