#I’m not good at editing things so apologies for the mistakes or the off-ness of it

[apricotdraws]

Spencer’s MeTube!

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Hi could you talk more about why youd recommend not watching ww84?

Sure!

warnings for under the cut: spoilers for WW84 and a bit of the first wonder woman; i only saw WW84 once a few days ago + it’s been a hot sec since i saw the original so if i get a few details wrong i apologize

tl;dr with no spoilers: WW84 is a poorly executed movie that insults its viewer with its messy and self-proud plot, bad character/relationship portrayals, and offers a personal slap in the face to a majority of its audience in their various discriminations, generalizations, and plot points.

the first point is the racism, made well by the post i reblogged here, (edit: found a second post that goes more in depth here) so i’d just suggest looking at that for that matter

next is just How they portray wonder woman in this one

i really appreciated the way the first movie portrayed diana because they did very well in keeping true to her Amazonian raising and life while still clearly showing she was a woman

when i say this i mean that a lot of media has a tendency to either make women who are very fem and keep to traditional gender roles or women who more or less shun femininity and attempt to largely fulfill only male gender roles

diana in the original is a warrior, strong and fierce, but still a woman, not trying to shun that or anything. she wears styles that suit her while still being woman’s styles (she doesn’t force her way into a suit), she talks of and addresses her womanhood proudly and without issue, etc

i want to note here i have no issue with female characters who act extremely masc and reject femininity- i love them tbh- but it’s important to remember that it’s not inherently against womanhood or anything to be a strong fighter who doesn’t stick to every stereotypical social gender norm

and the first wonder woman movie shows this very well

WW84... oh boy

first of all, wonder woman’s changing outfits every other scene. even between scenes where it makes no sense! i’m not saying she can only wear one set of clothes but Geez this was too much

not to mention an entire scene dedicated to her helping steve pick a fashion look? i understand this was to highlight the ‘80-ness of the movie, and it would’ve been fine if it seemed diana was helping him pick a period appropriate look, but it was clear she was trying to help him pick a ‘fashionable’ look which. wonder woman? from the island without a sense of popular outfits or fashion? what?

and the amount of focus on her wearing high heels.... ugh

i’m not saying you can’t have a badass woman who also likes social gender norm fem things but it felt clear that wasn’t what they were going for

wonder woman in the first movie liked practical fashion and not only were many of her outfits not that, her high heels? one hundred percent not practical

it didn’t fit her character and felt horribly out of place, clearly just the producers / directors / whoever going ‘oh, wonder woman is a woman how can we show this? fashion! high heels!’ and i hated it

(warning: imma be jumping from thought to thought as they bump into each so uh... enjoy the train-of-thought style of flaw informing)

and starting at the beginning like.... wow that scene had no purpose

wonder woman cheats in a competition and is punished for this by losing it in the end. except. this is stupid for two reasons

as the audience is shown she didn’t cheat on purpose. she made a mistake, lost her horse, and made a strategy to get back into the race despite this. honestly? i thought the story was going to be a lesson in ingenuity in the worst looking situations. but it wasn’t, which is bad storytelling, because the lesson is then based on a point that isn’t even that true

it is literally Never important again later. unless you count what was going on with the wishstone as ‘cheating to victory’ which i dont. that’s not even what the villain did. he wanted to take over the world. there’s no victory there you get without cheating. wtf. why did that message even happen

going into the actual story we meet the cheetah pretty quick, when she’s still whatever-her-civilian-name-is

and the cheetah... she’s such a bad villain

she doesn’t have the same backstory as she does in the comics

in this one, she uses the wishstone- which is a whole ‘nother thing in and of itself- to wish to be like diana, because ig being smart as hell but social awkward as hell too is so bad you need to desperately wish to be someone else? i hate that trope, but onwards-

she gets that, but in exchange for not only diana’s likable personality she also gets her wonder woman powers (and she loses her glasses, because pretty and cool means no glasses, right? /s), she loses her kindness bc of the rules of the wishstone- in exchange for your wish, it takes smth u care about a lot from you; for her, it was her kindness

this makes her villain! just because she lost her kindness. yep. honestly not a good look regarding all those people out there who are low/no empathy and can still be wonderful nice people but i digress

at one point she complains about why she needs to keep her power rather than go back to being just Her and i fucking wanted to scream

she has like. half a dozen degrees, clearly a couple of friends even if she’s awkward, and she’s got a life that was perfectly okay before she made the wish. as someone who is also socially awkward as hell, it infuriated me to here her acting like it was the fucking end of the world she couldn’t be more extroverted or whatever. there are ways to work on that!!! the movie trying to convince the audience she had a legit reason to not un-wish her wish (for the good of the entire world) was stupid and insulting

also her transformation between ‘looks human, wearing cheetah-pattern clothing‘ to ‘humanoid with cheetah fur/skin/appearance’ literally just. happened. for no reason. that was stupid

y’know what else is stupid? the wishstone. it was clearly just a plot device, and a poorly executed one at that. it isn’t even consistent in how it works

and they did a whole side thing with like. how it had the language of the gods written on part of it and it appeared in random locations across history around the time of great tragedies and,,, that was it???

they never explored the divine connection??? who planted it or why??? how it location traveled or anything????

like i said. poor plot device

i move on now to steve

oh boy steve

he’s brought back to life by diana’s wish on the wishstone, but... it causes him to come back in someone else’s body, quantum leap style. this is. weird. and is never ever addressed by him or wonder woman except once in a throw away comment. like. diana and steve kiss and are implied to have sex while steve is in someone else’s body and neither of them seem to care. this is not good!!

and then his relationship with diana? HORRIBLE

in the first movie they were barely starting to fall in love, only barely a couple even if that. more importantly they were friends, and that night he died diana didn’t lose a potential lover so much as she lost her first non-Amazonian friend

but WW84 portrays their relationship as if they were not only already a couple, but one close enough that even after forty years since steve’s death diana is still completely and hopelessly in love with him to the point that she’s literally hanging off his arm as soon as he’s back and making love that very night

it plays again once more into the misrepresentation of wonder woman’s character (how stereotypically hollywood female to fall over herself at the sight of her love interest) and it wrecks their relationship, which had been a lovely friends-who-could-be-more

what they should’ve done was focus on that friendship, build it back up after the long gap for wonder woman, and then started to rebuild that possible romance (and tear it down at the perfect moment... right when steve had to go again... ah that would’ve been lovely)

but they wanted to go in full-haul on the romance and it just felt. wrong and weak to me. diana’s refusal to consider giving up her wish (to get her powers back and save the world) is bc she doesn’t want to let steve go again, which makes more sense in the context of a first and true friend rather than a hastily slapped together love interest

steve’s character was generally good tbh but the way he played into the story? bad

moving on... the main villain of the movie? sucks. he’s just. fucking awful

despite a motivation being given that he wants to have money, he launches into wanting to take over the world for no real reason. he takes advantage of people for this and almost destroys the world he wants to rule for it. the main reason he stops this is for his son, who up until now he largely ignored and didn’t seem to care that much for outside of basic obligations. and the movie dares try to make him sympathetic by throwing in the fact he grew up poor and was bullied and not liked which i HATE

lots of people are/have been poor. lots of people are/have been bullied (myself included). that does NOT justify them DESTROYING THE WORLD TRYING TO TAKE IT OVER. can it be used to show the audience why he does what he does? yes. but to use it and clearly try to make it a reason to hand-wave-away what he did? NO. FUCK NO

also fucking. y’know how wonder woman took down this villain? she talked to him and the world. she gave a stirring speech while she laid slumped against a wall, not injured, just too weak to beat a bit of wind. she talked and she looped her lasso around his leg so she could talk to the world to to convince them to give up their wishes

once again... the mischaracterization

in the first movie, wonder woman gives a stirring speech while fighting Areas. it’s done in her battle, beating the god of war up while reminding him of what she stood for, who she was, why she would keep fighting for a broken world

it was BEAUTIFUL. it was MEANINGFUL. it was BADASS but SINCERE

this was weak. and it clearly wanted to be more than it was

the whole movie wants to be more than it is- it wants to have an important meaningful message like the first movie, about wishes for the self and war and the world and whatever. and it wants it so badly it does it horribly

the message is ham-handed yet messy and unclear and not right. it doesn’t make sense, and it feels poorly plotted. the movie thinks it’s more than it is and that makes it very hard to watch

and to finish my rant off... WW84 lied to its audience

did you see any ads for WW84? i did. they were bright, vibrant, funky music, stunning moments, action and intrigue. i was thrilled for a movie like it

the actual movie isn’t that

it’s not nearly as action filled, it’s not as ‘80s-focused as it leads you to believe, some of the most prominently featured moments barely matter

the lightning swing? pointless, as at that point in the movie wonder woman’s learned how to fly and does it for no reason but the trailers

and that cool suit? introduced in a random myth for no reason halfway through the movie, brought in at random with no explanation, only there for show and the trailers

WW84 is not the movie is lead people to believe it was, and the movie it is is poorly executed and insulting to a variety of peopler/minorities

if you’re gonna watch it, pirate it. i can give you a link. just don’t give dc your money or your legit views for it

[unexpectedreylo]

How Ben Solo Became A Martyr

If anyone were to pull me into a Hollywood studio office or lunch at some see-and-be-seen L.A.-area restaurant (personally, I like The Ivy) and ask me, a lifelong t.v. and movie viewer, what should show runners, directors, writers, and anyone who has a creative say in a production avoid doing, one thing I would say is, “Don’t unintentionally make a character a martyr.”

I don’t mean the sense of being a martyr in-universe but being a martyr to the audience.  

First I should define what I mean by “martyr.”  In a Christian sense, it’s a particular kind of saint who suffers and dies a horrible death for his or her faith.  In a secular sense it can describe anyone who suffers and/or dies horribly for a cause or that suffering/death calls attention to a matter of injustice.  This can also be applied in a more colloquial sense, such as when anyone suffers in some way or tries to use the impression of suffering to elicit sympathy.

If anyone at Lucasfilm is wondering why there’s a tribe of people on social media doing Ben Solo hashtags, making pins, and putting blue butterfly emojis on their handles, I’m here to tell Lucasfilm it’s because you guys made Ben Solo into a martyr to the audience.  

First, they made Kylo Ren/Ben Solo Han and Leia’s son/Anakin and Padmé’s grandson.  This makes him an easy investment for fans who have loved those characters for decades.  The killing Han Solo part might have made a certain segment of longtime fans so angry at Kylo they not only couldn’t forgive him but  they didn’t even want him redeemed but others could see how the death clearly affected him which elicits sympathy and compassion.

Second, they got an extremely talented, charismatic actor to play Kylo/Ben.  Adam Driver refused to play Kylo as a one-dimensional mustache-twirling killing-machine villain.  He added subtlety, nuance, and humanity to the role, all the while captivating the audience.  That he’s also sexy didn’t hurt.  As bad as Kylo could be, we also see the soft underbelly, the hints of the real Ben Solo hiding behind the persona.  He managed to create the kind of hero we’d been hoping to see in the ST within a short amount of time and practically no dialogue.  That’s extraordinary.  Driver took Kylo as seriously as he takes any other role.  He could’ve been making a bunch of other Oscar-nominated movies instead and we all know it.  Getting him was a gift and some fans out there think it was ultimately kind of wasted.

Third, if TFA hinted at Kylo’s humanity, Rian Johnson made it entirely the point of Kylo’s arc in TLJ.  When Kylo destroyed his helmet, Johnson was able to let Driver go nuts with a script that treated its characters like human beings instead of caricatures.  While Kylo was still capable of evil and all-around bad guy-ness, we also saw someone who could be gentle and caring, a tortured young man struggling with deep remorse, a lonely soul who can only find connection with someone who’s supposed to be his enemy, and sometimes, a hero.  Those pleading puppy dog eyes and trembling lips did a lot to elicit sympathy from filmgoers.  That he’s also sexy didn’t hurt.

Fourth, both the films and ancillary material showed Ben was subjected to abuse and suffered greatly for the mistakes of his elders.  Ben was targeted at conception and suffered with voices in his head most of his life.  A kitchen droid tried to take him out.  His parents were too busy doing whatever to really give him the attention he needed, even though Leia was aware some outside force was after her son.  His parents ultimately feared him and his emotional freak outs.  Han and Leia shipped him off to Luke’s poor man’s version of Hogwarts, leading to some deep abandonment issues.  Luke almost killed him in his sleep.  The very popular The Rise of Kylo Ren comics series basically acquitted Ben of everything he supposedly did leading up to his fall.  Then Kylo is verbally and physically abused by Snoke.  This has created a tremendous amount of sympathy for Ben, especially by those who have struggled with any number of real-world problems.  They identified with him.  Hollywood as of late has coded a lot of villainous or antihero characters as having mental illness or being neurodiverse or having addiction problems as well as enduring physical and verbal abuse.  I get that writers want to enrich these characters and make them relevant to a modern audience and that actors like the challenge in playing them but I also think Hollywood is being a little irresponsible about it.  Not only is it potentially stigmatizing it also seldom has a solution to those characters’ arcs other than death.  How is someone living with bipolar disorder or autism finding a kindred spirit of sorts in Kylo/Ben going to feel about the constant message that such a life isn’t worth living?  Ben just suffers and suffers and suffers and gets nothing for it.

Fifth, we’re presented with material depicting Ben’s youth.  Ben, when he’s not getting the stuffing kicked out of him by life, is quite lovable and as a child, adorable.  At least with Anakin Skywalker, we’re supposed to appreciate the tragedy of a good person who was loved falling to the Dark Side.  With Ben it makes us love him 10x more and at the same time make us even more upset they unceremoniously killed off that darling little moppet who played with butterflies, ran around the house naked, and begged his daddy to come home.  

Sixth, it didn’t seem like Ben was sufficiently loved either in the films or by Lucasfilm.  Or, to put it this way, whatever gestures Han, Leia, or Luke tried to throw Ben’s way were cases of too little too late.  I always wondered why, if Leia knew Snoke was manipulating Ben, she didn’t go out to find the mo-fo and kill him?  I would!  Leia tries to reach out to Ben in TROS but in the movie it comes off as her distracting him so Rey could inflict a fatal wound.  In fact, the weird thing about TROS is it feels like Leia was trying to take out Ben all along:  the distraction, ensuring Rey takes up her “Jedi path” which Leia knew full well this would somehow lead to Ben’s death, and finally her disappearing the same time he does.  It’s weird!  Han tries to save Ben but he’s a muggle who’s no match against his unstable son gifted with magic powers and lightsaber abilities.  Luke apologizes in TLJ but never had anything to say to his nephew again.  Adding insult to injury, the Blue Ghostie Exposition Scene From Hell establishes Luke and Leia as resigned to Ben’s fate all along, kicking their flesh and blood to the curb for a surrogate more to their liking.  It’s horrible!  The worst is of course his soulmate barely reacting to his death.  In the end nobody cared.  He’s like the kid who cleans up his act, gets good grades, gets into a decent college, and his family couldn’t care less.  The movie abruptly kills him off and it’s on to cheering and celebrations.  Nobody remembers or speaks of Ben and he’s not seen again in any form.  Four-five months after the film has come out, there’s no official Ben merchandise or collectibles.  It’s like “Ben Solo?  Don’t know him.”  You just know that every time the Star Wars social media team has to mention him or post something with him in it, they’re muttering under their breath, “Oh God, here it comes again.”

So they got a number of fans to empathize with Kylo/Ben and hope for his redemption as well as a chance at happiness after a lifetime of abuse and suffering, only to kill him off in a sudden and graceless manner.  There’s no payoff for Ben or the audience.  He’s just...gone.  To us it doesn’t seem right.  It seems cruel and unjust.  But fans are also a tenacious lot so they’re hoping Lucasfilm will realize it made a mistake and correct it.  In the meantime, Ben lives on in our fan fics, edits, fan art, and fan merchandise.

[sparklingpax]

A Different Side (1/2)

Summary: Optimus comes back from an unsuccessful mission and seems to be out of sorts...but there’s more to that story. 

///

A/N: 

-This is a rather silly fic, so do not worry I promise there is nothing inappropriate or heavy in this one at all! It’s,,,a dumb idea I had in History the other day,,,I wrote most of it between/during class periods, and edited the rest when I was supposed to be doing homework at home! :’) 

-Please excuse any typos, grammar mistakes, ooc-ness, weird phrasings, punctuation errors, or really just anything that looks weird or isn’t right; I’m an amateur and I do this stuff for fun! So I’m naturally not the best at it....keep that in mind pls...

-WHAT IS THIS TITLE IM SO SORRY--

-Ok but this story is honestly kinda dumb goumen I’ll write better things soon

-Set in the TFP universe! 

-This only has two parts, so this be the first and the next update is the end of it.... 😹😹 ^^’’

Enjoy! :D 

///

“Eat my dust, Jack!”

“Not if I pass you first!!”

“No, you won’t!!!”

“Says who?!”

               Two cars raced around the base, one just barely passing the other.

               Miko and Jack had gone head-to-head, racing one last tournament before they had to go home—after the tie last round, they just had to know who, really, was the victor of the day. The two of them shouted competitively as they jammed the controls in one direction or another. Excited, Raf looked on. He, too, was curious of the outcome.

               At present, only Ratchet had remained at base.

               The others had gone out to investigate an abandoned energon mine somewhere in Maine. Optimus had visited the location once before but was not able to reach the source of the readings he’d gotten.

               Therefore, since there had been no Decepticon activity in the past week or so, he took his team to search the caverns.

               They were due to return in about 10 minutes, according to Ratchet. When they did, each guardian was then going to take their human companion home.

               It was a normal day at the Autobot base.

              “NO WAY—”

              “TAKE THAT!!!!”

              Jack threw his fist in the air triumphantly while Miko crumpled to the floor in defeat. Raf burst into laughter as she actually went and laid flat on her back.

             “The horror! I’ve let Jack win!!” She overdramatically wailed. Then, after a moment, sat up and giggled along with Raf and Jack. As the two went to retrieve their cars, Raf scampered up to Ratchet.

             “Hey, Ratchet. What are you doing?”

             The medic sighed, continuing to tinker with what looked like some kind of tool. “Fixing one of Bulkhead’s….accidents,” He muttered. With a sigh, he remembered the large mech smashing it while trying to reenact a fight he had, showing off to Miko. Naturally, the girl had been amazed, but it was short-lived as Ratchet, too, had witnessed that retelling.

              Raf fixed his glasses. “I’m sure it was just an accident, Ratchet.”

              With an eyeroll, Ratchet responded, “It was, but that doesn’t make it any less of an inconvenience, Rafael. It was quite immature of him, too.” He held it up to the light to observe a small detail of the frame.

              “Oh…I see.”

              “Thank the Allspark it’s not one of my more important tools,” he murmured, mostly to himself. Ratchet put it down for a moment to check on the progress of the rest of the team’s expedition.

              He pushed the comm button. “Optimus, come in. Have you found anything? Is everyone okay?”

             “Negative, Ratchet. There is nothing left in these caves,” he reported, a faint note of disappointment in his tone. “Though, everyone is fine. We require a bridge.”

              “Understood.”

              Ratchet tapped a few more buttons to lock onto their coordinates and pulled the lever, activating the groundbridge.  Miko and Jack broke off their conversation and joined Raf to stand by Ratchet, waiting for their guardians’ returns.

               Sure enough, after a moment, the team came through the portal with a swishing noise, Optimus the last one through. While the three kids gravitated to their partners, Optimus merely stood at the bridge. He remained for a moment, passing his gaze over his team.

              Then, without a word, he turned and headed down the halls—to his room.

              “Did you really think….” Arcee trailed off her snide remark at Jack as she heard Optimus’s heavy footsteps go past everyone and down the hall. She and Jack exchanged looks as everyone else, also, noticed this.

               After a short spell of silence, Miko finally spoke up.

               “Is he mad or something? Cuz I mean, geez—he didn’t even say hello.” She folded her arms.

               “No, Miko,” Ratchet responded, sounding a little exasperated. “What could he be angry over, if he were?” More silence followed his words. It was not often Optimus actually showed what he was feeling like this.

               Everyone was therefore concerned.

               “Do you think…he might be, like, really disappointed about not finding anything in the caves, then?” Jack asked, drifting from Arcee to the groundbridge area. “I mean, from what he’s been saying, you guys really needed that energon…”

               “He could just be tired, too,” Raf chimed in. The bots thought for a moment.

               Bumblebee shifted from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. ‘I just hope he’s okay…’

               Ratchet set his tools aside and headed for the hall. “I’ll go talk to him,” he said. The humans and bots exchanged glances, then nodded.

///

               “So!” Ratchet huffed frustratedly, emerging from the halls. “He won’t open the door, and will not talk to me, either!” He threw his hands in the air with a noise of exasperation, trudging back to his station.

               Rafael nudged Miko, who had her headphones in. Jack stood up and began down the stairs.

               “I guess something is wrong,” Arcee murmured, folding her arms. She caught sight of Jack, regarding her companion with an inquisitive gaze.

               “Jack?”

               “I’ll talk to him.” He heard his own determined voice, then touched the back of his head with an awkward laugh. “I’ll—I’ll try, I mean…”

               “Good luck,” Ratchet muttered bitterly, not taking his eyes off his current repair project. “If he even has the courtesy to acknowledge you at all.”  Jack flashed a thumbs up.

He uneasily began to wonder what could have put Optimus so out of sorts that he wouldn’t even speak to Ratchet. It was also rare for Optimus to do this kind of thing, apparently.

Something told Jack it wasn’t just about the energon…but he still wanted to find out for himself.

               “Later, Jack!” Raf called, scampering down the steps. Miko followed, slinging her backpack onto her shoulders. She waved.

               “Yeah, we’re gonna go home now, but you better text us later, kay?” Bulkhead and Bumblebee then transformed, and the two kids hopped in. Ratchet, remembering he had to bridge them out, audibly sighed, slumping over.

               “For the love of Primus, am I able to get any work done around here without constantly being interrupted?!”

               That’s my cue to leave, Jack thought. He quickly hurried down the halls, not wanting to be the next victim of Ratchet’s frustration. He knew the medic only meant well, and that his work was important to him.

               Still, he internally wished Ratchet had more patience. Even if he didn’t scare Jack, it was still unpleasant to be around the old bot when he was not in a good mood.

               Speaking of which….

               Jack came upon Optimus’s berth room, which was closed. He sucked in a breath, raising his arm to knock. Hesitation pulled his arm back after a second.

               What if he is just resting? I’d be pretty ticked if someone interrupted my long nap…

               A memory of Miko pushing him off the couch as a prank resurfaced. He remembered feeling frustrated more than anything else. Of course, she’d apologized, but that wasn’t really going to give him back those precious minutes of sleep.

               He rolled his eyes. “What can you expect when you’re friends with Miko Nakadai, right?” He murmured, raising his arm again. But for the sake of satisfying my own curiosities, at least—

               “Hey, Optimus?” Jack called, knocking lightly. When he received no response for a few minutes, he sighed and knocked again—this time, a bit louder. “Optimus!! Are you okay in there?”

               There was a rustling noise from behind the door, but still no response. Jack decided to stop knocking. He put his back against the metal and slid to the floor. Maybe simply talking it out would help.

               “You know, everyone’s kinda worried about you…” He sighed again, laughing a little. “Oh, and Ratchet’s kinda mad you didn’t even acknowledge him. So…you’re probably gonna have to apologize for that later…”

               The boy bowed his head a little. It was possible Optimus wanted to be left alone right now. Coming to bother him might have been a mistake. Jack began to think up other ways he and the others could figure out—

               “Jack.”

               Optimus spoke at last, his voice sounding calm—completely level, actually. Instantly, the teen sprang to his feet and answered.

               “Optimus! Ok, good. You’re alive, then,” he joked. When the Prime didn’t respond to his jest—naturally—Jack shook his head and chuckled quietly. “It’s ok, I was joking. Anyway—do you….wanna talk? Is everything ok? You seemed kind of sad when you came through the bridge…and you didn’t even tell us how it went…”

               Didn’t tell us anything, actually, but I’ll leave that part out. I’m sure Optimus doesn’t want to be guilted for stuff at the moment.

               There was another noise—it sounded a little more desperate before it abruptly came to a stop. Then, the Autobot leader’s hefty footsteps began to approach the door. Jack backed away, glad that his efforts seemed to have paid off. The large metal sheet slid upwards, revealing Optimus’ huge figure.

               His face was completely expressionless, but he mustered a somewhat warm look when he gazed at Jack.

               Well, at least Optimus said something and…opened his door, Jack consoled himself mentally. Even though I still don’t know what’s bothering him. Guess we’ll just have to wait for him to tell us…

               “I will go apologize to Ratchet. It was not my intention to offend him…” He started out the door and down the hall. Then, he paused to face Jack for a moment as he added, “And my apologies also to you, I did not mean to worry anyone. Thank you for coming to get me.”

               “Oh—no, don’t worry about that, Optimus. It’s fine.”

               The Prime nodded briefly, saying nothing more. Jack watched him go. Now, he was even more confused than before.

               So why were you acting weird when you got back to base?

               By coincidence, his gaze happened to wander to Optimus’ open berth room. Jack had the sudden realization that he’d never seen Optimus’s berthroom before. Actually, he hadn’t seen any of the bots’ rooms since he’d known about their base.

               He left the door open, it wouldn’t hurt to go take a look…I think?

               Quietly, he padded inside. Taking a moment to look around, Jack noted that it was quite a huge space—way bigger than he’d expected from the size of the door.

It was also very….bare.

               No posters, furnishings, or anything other than the walls, his berth, and a small shelf. On that shelf, there was nothing except for some mystery object shoved in the corner, covered by an old blue cloth.

               “Exactly what you’d expect from a guy like Optimus,” Jack remarked to himself. He sighed and began to walk away, when suddenly a noise snapped his attention back around.

               Back to the shelf.

               Back to the blue cloth.

               A noise that had come from….

               “What is that thing?” Jack murmured to himself as he drew close to it again.

               He jumped back as it vibrated and briefly glowed a bright blue. It seemed to come back to life as a steady humming filled the air of the room. The teen came to a halt right in front of the shelf, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at it, curious and confused.

               Was he trying to hide this? Jack wanted even more to know what it did—what it was.

               And while he stared at it, the object beneath the cloth made another noise.

               “Roadwork ahead?? Uh, YEAH, I sure hope it does!”

               For a moment, Jack stood immobile. Then, he burst into laughter.  

               Optimus was watching vines….he was watching vines….Optimus Prime was watching vines.

               He suddenly remembered what had happened to his mom when she watched vine for the first time. For at least two long, painful weeks, the only things she said were vine quotes—in a failed attempt to be funny. 

               Optimus was watching….vines….oh no.

               Jack turned on his heel and sprinted down the halls.

....

I’ll edit and fix stuff later; I’m in class rn lolol :’D

Thx for reading!! Feedback is always appreciated~

<3

[artificialqueens]

You're the One Thing (I Can't Get Enough Of) {Branjie}- athena2

A/N: Brooke has messed up in her and Vanessa’s relationship, but she’s going to do whatever it takes to fix it. This is for @writworm 42, who requested a fic where Brooke has messed up and makes it up to Vanessa with candlelight and looking pretty and a slow dance, and Writ is awesome and I love them so I had to. I hope it’s somewhat like what you imagined, and I hope you enjoy! Please leave some feedback if you’d like! Title from “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” from Dirty Dancing.

—

Night has fallen, a dark blue sheet over the world, when Brooke finally exits the conference room massaging her temples, ears still ringing from a board member’s yelling.

She pulls out her phone on the way to her car, stomach growling with the knowledge that she’s consumed nothing but a cup of coffee all day. 15 minutes and she’ll be home, eating dinner and kissing Vanessa—

There’s 5 voicemails and almost 30 texts, all from Vanessa.

Oh no. The phone shakes in Brooke’s hand, and it’s a good thing she hasn’t eaten because her stomach lurches.

Did something happen? Is she hurt? Is she sick? Her mind is overtaken by images of Vanessa trapped and bleeding in her car, or fighting for her life in the hospital, or scared because of something at work…she forces herself to breathe and opens up the messages, heart pounding.

Brooke

Where are you?

You’re supposed to be out early today remember?

Why are you late?

Brooke are you okay? You’re an hour late and I’m scared

Brooke?

Are you okay?

You’re almost two hours late

I just called your office they said you’re in a meeting. Did you seriously forget to leave early for tonight?

Whatever. Obviously your job is more important

Oh shit. Brooke’s heart creeps into her throat and the guilt slams into her like a tractor. Somehow, in between her rushed cup of coffee for breakfast and the two morning meetings and skipping lunch to perfect her presentation and the presentation itself and this meeting, she completely forgot that she had to get out early.

It’s her and Vanessa’s third anniversary.

And Brooke forgot about it.

—

“Will you just come, Brooke? You might actually enjoy yourself, you know,” Nina argues.

“At 80’s music night at the Rainforest Bar? Do I even need to dignify that with a response?” She shoots Nina the most scathing look she can muster.

“Okay, so maybe it’s not your exact idea of a good time, but please just come? You might meet someone. You haven’t been in a relationship since undergrad. I worry about you, Brooke.” It’s a clear guilt trip, but there’s such sincerity in Nina’s expression that she finds herself agreeing.

“Fine. But if I don’t have a good time, which I won’t, I get to pick the next movie for movie night.”

“Okay. And if you do have a good time, which you will, I get to pick the movie.”

“Deal.”

—

Brooke opens the back door and enters a fog of doom and misery in the kitchen.

“Look who decided to show up.”

Vanessa sits stiffly at the kitchen table, a murderous gleam in her eyes. She’s still in her flowing gold dress that she saves for special occasions. The table is bare, and Brooke realizes with a pang that Vanessa had given up on her and put it all away, removed all traces of the night they were supposed to have, with their fancy dresses and fancy dinner and candles and champagne.

Like she could no longer bear to sit and look at the broken promise Brooke had made of their night.

There is nothing she can say that will make this better, but she has to try. Vanessa deserves that much at least.

“Vanessa, I’m so sorry. I got caught up at work–”

“You’re always caught up at work!”

She can tell from Vanessa’s rage that this has been building for a while–and not without reason. Brooke has been coming home later than usual the past few weeks, falling asleep at her home desk as she reviews graphs and charts. She’s been telling Vanessa that things will be normal again once the quarter ends, but what if–fear grips her heart–what if her and Vanessa aren’t still her and Vanessa by the time it does?

“They scheduled a late meeting and it was mandatory–”

“Of course it was! And you know what? You wouldn’t have even been there for it if you left early like you promised!” Vanessa leaps to her feet, betrayal and anger enabling her to tower over Brooke.

“I know. I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do and I–”

“One night I asked you to get out early. One!” She laughs bitterly. “Sometimes I think you like that job more than me.”

“Ness, I–”

“You don’t get to call me Ness right now.” Brooke detects tears chasing after the fury in Vanessa’s voice. “Why don’t you sleep at your desk tonight. You love sleeping there anyway.”

She storms up the stairs and Brooke restrains herself from following. Vanessa’s anger is like a landmine; you might take out everything in a 5-mile radius if you approach her when she’s still seething. As much as Brooke wants to race after her and talk and apologize until she’s repaired this, she knows she’ll only create more damage if she goes when the fire of rage is still burning through her wife, and she’s caused enough destruction already.

She finds their dessert for tonight, chocolate-strawberry tarts from their favorite coffee shop–where they had their first official date and Brooke was so nervous she poured sugar all over the table instead of in her mug–in the garbage, another casualty of Brooke’s forgetfulness.

Brooke steps into her home office, her appetite suddenly gone, a hard lump in her stomach now. She drops into her desk chair, still in her stiff pantsuit, because she doesn’t deserve the release of taking it off. She watches the sky brighten as it passes from dusk to dawn, a bright pink of new possibilities and fulfilled promises, as she formulates a plan.

She’s going to make this right.

—

Nina hums along to “Africa” at the table they’re huddled around, and Brooke is flooded with guilt for making Nina stand here with her miserable self when she knows Nina would rather be on the dance floor.

“Go dance,” Brooke insists. “Have fun. Don’t worry about me.” It takes another few minutes of coaxing and reassuring Nina that she’ll be fine before Nina sprints to the dance floor, immediately drawn in with a group of women.

Brooke sighs and sips at her drink, the oversized paper umbrella almost taking her eye out. She shouldn’t be here; she should be reviewing her presentation for Monday, making sure she’s caught every mistake. Maybe she could hole up in the bathroom and go over the notes on her phone. She sighs again. Why couldn’t she ever just let go and have fun like Nina encouraged her to?

“Hey there,” a rough voice surfaces at her side. “You okay? You lookin’ kinda stressed, Mami.”

Brooke looks up at the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen, brilliant white teeth exposed in a full grin, a jungle cat on the prowl, brown eyes bright under the neon lights, hair brushed back off her soft, smooth face.

“I–I’m fine,” Brooke manages, no longer sure how to form words.

The woman winks. “You sure are.” She bats her eyelashes and Brooke has to grip the table just to stay upright.

“I’m Vanessa,” the woman says.

—

Brooke calls in sick to work and is out the door before the sun is up the next morning, before Vanessa rolls out of bed to take her shower. Brooke can’t help but smile as she pictures the nest Vanessa’s hair is in the morning, how she always tries to convince Brooke to stay in the shower with her. All she can do is hope she didn’t mess up enough to lose those things.

The grocery store is nearly deserted this early in the morning, which is good because Brooke doesn’t want to know what she looks like, in yesterday’s clothes, hair up in a ponytail, running on a rough hour of sleep and not enough coffee. She shoves through the exhaustion and focuses.

Vanessa likes Caesar salad with extra croutons, she likes potatoes fried until they crunch, and she likes steak completely well done because any pink in it freaked her out. Brooke can barely make toast without setting off the smoke detector, but as she roams down endless seas of cans and boxes, her sleep-deprived brain declares that she can make all of these things for tonight.

She is going to give Vanessa the night she deserves, because Vanessa is the greatest person Brooke has ever known. She is somehow bold and brash yet kind and thoughtful, always armed with the right words for any situation. She can loosen the threads that have Brooke wound tight with stress over work conferences, make her laugh after a long day, nestle perfectly in her arms at night. The pain in Brooke’s chest is only growing as she thinks of the absolute wreck she made of everything.

How could she have forgotten the anniversary of the day she stood under a canopy of orange leaves and slid her ring on Vanessa’s finger and vowed to love her forever? Has her love for Vanessa lessened over the years? No, she knows that isn’t true. Her heart still speeds up every time Vanessa smiles at her, their hands still fly together like lovesick teenagers. She knows, even in moments when Vanessa has steam coming out of her ears after work or is frowning at her for editing presentations in bed, that she loves Vanessa more than ever. She has to show Vanessa how much she loves her in case the message has been lost lately with all her deadlines and meetings and stress.

Her next stop is the coffee shop to get new tarts, only to be told that they make those every other day. Brooke clenches her fists so tight she nearly bends her phone in half. She has to have these tarts. They’re Vanessa’s favorite, and nothing else will do. Vanessa should get to have her favorite dessert all the time, and especially now, but Brooke walks out the door with a polite thank you, because what’s she going to do? Get down on her knees and sob and beg the bored twenty-something behind the counter to make the tarts so she can save her marriage? (The thought does cross her mind).

Brooke gets in her car, pulls up a recipe, and heads back to the store.

—

Vanessa is tiny, barely at Brooke’s shoulders even in her sleek black heels, but with a voice and personality that make her double in size. Brooke easily lets her take the lead on the conversation, and by the time she finds out Vanessa is a schoolteacher a few years younger than her, Brooke forgets to be afraid, forgets about her presentation Monday, forgets everything but Vanessa’s eyes and smile across from her.

Brooke doesn’t even notice that hours have passed listening to Vanessa’s stories of what goes on in the teachers’ lounge at school, the DJ cycling through Madonna and Cyndi Lauper and George Michael, until the bartender announces last call and the soft strains of a familiar song from one of her and Nina’s favorite movies ring out.

‘Now I’ve had the time of my life…’

Vanessa squeals. “I love this song! Dance with me?”

She lets Vanessa pull her on to the dance floor, the brunette telling her over the music about how she and her friends all watched the movie for the first time at a sleepover when they were 12, how everyone drooled over Johnny but she couldn’t take her eyes off Penny, and by the end of the sleepover she knew she had a thing for blondes and did not have a thing for men.

Brooke just listens to that gravelly voice, feels the warmth of Vanessa’s body pulsing next to her, and when the song reaches its climax, she can’t resist leaning down and whispering into Vanessa’s ear.

“I can do this, you know. The lift, I mean.” Brooke clarifies at Vanessa’s confused expression.

“You’re shitting me!”

“I’m not.” Brooke grins. “I took dance lessons for 14 years, I know how to do it.”

“You wanna come back to my place and prove it?”

—

The first thing she sees when she gets home is Vanessa’s coffee mug in the sink, peeking out at her like a ray of sunlight.

The mug Brooke got her as a joke when they started dating, with a chalkboard and an apple on it proclaiming Vanessa to be the World’s Best Teacher. The mug she had plucked a ring out of the night she proposed to Vanessa, a night filled with happy tears and kisses and breathless repeatings of we’re getting married. The mug that Vanessa insisted be the first thing they unpacked when they moved into their new house.

Vanessa leaves the mug in the sink every morning and Brooke washes it every night when she gets home from work, relishing the calm motions and the memories of late breakfasts and kisses sweet with coffee and maple syrup bursting from the mug’s surface.

If Vanessa was willing to drink out of this morning after everything that happened, maybe there’s hope, and Brooke rinses the mug with a smile.

Then she lays out her supplies and gets to work.

Brooke can’t cook. At all. And she doesn’t mean it in the modest way people do when they don’t want to call attention to their talents; she means it in the way that Vanessa reaches for the fire extinguisher anytime Brooke gets within a foot of the stove. But she has double of everything she’ll need and seven hours until Vanessa gets home, and today is as good a day as ever to be optimistic.

Brooke slices and stirs and mixes and it distracts her from the fact that it’s radio silence on her phone all day. No cat videos or pictures of Vanessa at her desk with the funniest Snapchat filter she could find or an accusatory so guess what this hoe at work did today with the promise of a wild story that she would hear at dinner. It’s what she expected and it’s what she deserves. Hell, it’s probably more than she deserves; she wouldn’t blame Vanessa for sending her angry texts and screaming voicemails.

After a long shower, a thick layer of aloe vera over the small burn on her arm, three Minnie Mouse Band-Aids on the cuts on her fingers, one batch of tarts so deformed they could be a viral Pinterest fail, a once-white T-shirt that she doubts even bleach can save, and a salad dressing incident that required cleaning the ceiling, Brooke curls her hair, applies her makeup, and slips on her elegant black dress, the one with the plunging neckline that Vanessa likes because then she can put her hands all over Brooke’s chest.

She lights candles to set the romantic mood (and also mask the odor from the first round of potatoes she burned), arranges deep red and soft white roses in a vase, and props up the portable speaker as Vanessa drives home from the after-school program she helps with, probably blasting Rihanna and singing along with the windows open.

Brooke starts the music as she hears the lock click, preparing herself for the moment of truth.

—-

Vanessa is barely in the door before she has the song cued up on her phone, pulling Brooke into the living room with a wide smile.

Vanessa slips her arms around Brooke’s waist, rocking her into a slow dance as the first verses of the song play out.

The song builds to the lift, and Vanessa bites her lip and glances up at Brooke nervously.

“You’re not gonna drop me, are you?” she questions.

“I won’t drop you, I promise. I got you.” Brooke has never made promises easy, Nina the only person to typically earn them, but it flies out so naturally she doesn’t question it, and she knows she will never break it. She’s got a good feeling in her gut about Vanessa, and Brooke wants to carve those words into stone.

Vanessa nods, taking a few steps back before running at her, heels clicking on the floor, and Brooke settles her hands on Vanessa’s hips, going with the motion and lifting her high in the air.

“Holy shit, Brooke!” Vanessa shrieks above Brooke’s head. “I’m five-nothing, I never been this high! Well, except for that time my friend Silky made her ‘special’ cookies.”

Vanessa is quaking with laughter above her, legs flailing, and Brooke laughs and lowers Vanessa to the ground, hands still sturdy on her hips, and Brooke is thinking she might just leave them there forever. What does she really need her hands for anyway?

“I bet you use that trick on all the girls,” Vanessa accuses, still breathless, a smile between her flushed cheeks.

“Never,” Brooke says truthfully. “Never met anyone I liked enough to do it with.”

And then their lips meet, and that good feeling spreads to Brooke’s entire body. She may actually burst into flame, and she lifts Vanessa once more and carries her into–no, that’s the bathroom, Brooke unable to see anything but Vanessa–the bedroom, placing her down carefully and removing Vanessa’s dress.

They nestle into a breathless tangle, and there’s that feeling in Brooke’s stomach again. This time it’s telling her that this won’t be their last night together, that she’ll get to hold Vanessa close every night and wake up with sunlight glinting off Vanessa’s back every morning, kissing and laughing and getting pancake crumbs from breakfasts in bed all over the sheets.

She lets the feeling carry her off into sleep.

Vanessa makes waffles the next morning, and Brooke leaves with another kiss and a new contact in her phone, Vanessa’s name followed by a heart and dancing woman emojis.

Brooke gets two texts that afternoon.

The first is from Vanessa asking if she wants to go for coffee tomorrow. The second is from Nina stating that they’ll be watching Mulan for their next movie night.

—-

Etta James’s voice fills the kitchen as Vanessa steps inside, Brooke strategically arranging a playlist with all Vanessa’s favorite love songs, most from their wedding, when they spun around together and neither one could do anything but smile because they were married.

“Brooke?” Vanessa asks, her work bag slipping through her fingers and crashing to the floor. “You-you look so beautiful, and the music and the flowers…and you cooked?” She looks at the table in wonder and bites her lip the way she does when Brooke knows she’s trying not to smile.

“Happy anniversary,” Brooke says. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry about yesterday. I know that really hurt you, and I wanted to give you the anniversary you deserve, because you mean the world to me.”

“Brooke…” she’s not hiding her smile anymore, and her eyes are starting to tear up.

Brooke takes a deep breath, holding herself back from running to Vanessa just in case. “I love you, Vanessa. These have been the best three years of my life, and I still love you just as much as I did the first day. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m going to work harder to show you that. I won’t be late at the office anymore, and I won’t be doing work stuff when I could be with you. Because you’re the most important thing in my life.”

Vanessa is in her arms the next second, breathing soft I love you’s into Brooke’s chest.

“I forgive you,” Vanessa whispers. “I love you so much, Brooke. I was so lonely last night, and I wanted to text you so many times today, and you did all this for me…this is the best anniversary ever.”

She plants a kiss on the top of Vanessa’s head, and then Vanessa runs upstairs and comes back in her gold dress, Brooke bursting into a grin and hit with that same flutter in her stomach like she did that first night, like she did the night they said their vows.

‘Unforgettable, that’s what you are…’ Nat King Cole lulls over them as they start on dinner, Vanessa updating her on the case of the teachers’ lounge snack-stealer with today’s new evidence.

“I think the food is edible,” Brooke offers as a disclaimer.

“It’s fine, baby,” Vanessa assures her, crunching on potatoes. “Hey, was that stain on the ceiling before?” she asks suddenly. “And why do you have so many Band-Aids on?”

“Just don’t ask,” Brooke blurts around her edible, actually-not-bad steak, grateful when “I’m Stone in Love With You” picks up and Vanessa’s attention shifts to another story.

Brooke is washing the dishes from the tarts (a little crunchy around the edges, maybe, but altogether decent) when it comes on, like she timed it (which she had, stalling on the dish-scrubbing for just the right moment).

‘Now I’ve had the time of my life…’

“Brooke!” Vanessa squeals. “You didn’t!”

Brooke drops her washcloth in the sink and tugs Vanessa into the living room. “I did.”

The music sweeps around them and they join together in a slow dance, twirling around the living room laughing and smiling, that night years ago reflected in both of their eyes.

Vanessa takes a step back as the time grows near, searching Brooke’s face for the answer to an unasked question.

“I still got you,” Brooke promises.

Her hands are on Vanessa’s hips seconds later, Vanessa screeching up in the air while Brooke laughs beneath her, fingers exuding a promise she first made years ago into Vanessa’s skin, the promise that she will always be there for her wife, no matter what.

She brings Vanessa down into a kiss as the song fades out and melts into Diana Ross. Every kiss with Vanessa over the years has been special, but this one is fiery and desperate, filled with every need that went unanswered last night. Needs that Brooke won’t let be neglected again, because she isn’t going to put her job above her wife–her kind, passionate, fierce, loving wife–again.

She carries Vanessa up the stairs and this time she doesn’t have to search for a bedroom in an unfamiliar apartment because now it’s their bedroom, their home. Their life.

And she knows that tomorrow they’ll wake up and Vanessa will drink coffee out of that mug, and Brooke will wash it tomorrow night with a smile on her face, because even if the way she loves Vanessa has changed over the years, Brooke knows she has never loved her more.

[louderthanthedj]

Okay but I gotta rant about my thoughts on Thancred

I love him. Dearly. I very much miss his cheerful self from back in ARR and I’m happy he was able to get back some of that happiness by end game

Regarding Shadowbringers, I still love him, at least at the end. But while I wouldn’t call his behavior towards Minifilia ABUSIVE, he’s definitely just a full on dick to her in the first half of the game and I don’t think he answers for it enough. His conversation with Minfilia, the actual Minfilia, was very self centered and uncomfortable, to be honest. Minfilia made this choice and he’s had at least 5, more likely 7 years to come to terms with this. When her life is at stake for the greater good, you don’t get to butt in with “but what about MY feelings.” It’s completely understandable to feel that way but I find it a little much to still be in a state of selfish, keyword selfish, brooding over it after 7 fucking years.

The only other thing I take issue with, I’m thrilled he was able to redeem himself early on. He gained some of his happiness back and I’ve sorely missed that. And he definitely came to terms with his feelings for mini minfilia as well as solidified his own place in her life and hers in his. But I STILL don’t think they had him adequately answer for the way he treated her in the beginning. I could forgive his original blatant hatred of and asshole-ness towards her IF they had him FUCKING APOLOGIZE. It’s like we’re gonna watch that scene of him just flat out dismissing her from Urianger’s house to do his goddamn weapon bidding with nothing but an uncomfortable head pat in thanks and move on like that was totally fine and normal?

Again, I love him so much. But I fucking wish they just had him ANSWER for his mistreatment of mini minfilia rather than just come to terms with what she means to him and kind of... just walk up and accept it? Like oooh I treated you bad in the past but I finally calmed down so I’ve decided we’re good now. Like no you put her through some emotional SHIT, make up for that and THEN I can go back to loving you.

Edit: Like if I was in minfillia’s situation I’d probably accept Thancred as a loving father figure after enough, like, reconciliation. If he just walked up acting much better about the relationship after years of cold, uncaring treatment I sure as HELL wouldn’t feel comfortable being anywhere near him for a while

Again, I FUCKING love Thancred but everyone needs to fucking apologize for their mistakes and he made some BIG ones that seem to be shaken off as if they wouldn’t mentally scar a 15 year old

[shysweetthing]

Chihokogate is overwhelmingly romantic; fight me

I've seen people describe the "Overcome Chihoko" story in a number of ways--Victor being Extra, crackfic, something written purely for laughs, and so forth. And yes, I think all of those things are true, to a certain extent, but I'm not sure we appreciate exactly how lovely of an instance of crackfic this is.

More below the cut.

First, let's talk about Victor being Extra. In some senses, I think fandom can sometimes be a little overboard as to how Extra Victor can be. In other senses, I think that fandom is sometimes not...overboard enough as to Victor's Extraness.

Here's the thing about Victor: You don't get to be the five-time world champion by being very good at judging rational and appropriate responses to things. Five-time world champions don't tell themselves, "Well, I skated my best and that's all that matters." Five-time world champions don't tell themselves, "I guess that's as good as I'm ever gonna get on that jump, I'm not going to try for a higher grade of execution." Five-time world champions are people who do not know how to accept the concept of "good enough." They are more aware of their errors--and what they do wrong--then what they do right.

(This is true in general with competent individuals: No matter what your natural talent level, you are never perfect off the bat. The person who ends up being the best is not always the person who is most naturally talented. It's often the person who knows when they're not doing it right, and corrects mistakes. The ability to detect errors means you know how to improve. People who get to the level of perfection are more likely to hold themselves to a standard of perfection, and see every deviation from it, than to hold themselves to a standard of pretty good, and be delighted for every time that standard is exceeded. This is something that is true of both Yuuri and Victor; the two just handle mistakes differently. It's true of other people at the very top--check out Yuzuru Hanyu sometime, who also has this trait, although I think not the same way as Yuuri or Victor. Yuzuru Hanyu has a notebook where he details every jump he makes, and whether it's successful or not. After programs that are objectively stellar by any standards, but which fall short of his own, he gets angry and upset with himself. He doesn't know what "good enough" means, and that's why he is never just good enough.)

But back to Victor's extra-ness. Sometimes I see people have Victor act Extra in ways that don't line up with increasing competence. These are not instances of Victor striving; they're instances of Victor just being a dumbass for the sake of dumbassery. This is the farthest thing from the truth. Victor's extra-ness asserts itself in a surfeit of competence, holding himself to an impossible standard and reaching it again and again. Victor is aware of all his flaws, and he actively works to get better. He almost certainly has flaws that he's not been able to push past a certain level--in most cases, for super-competent people, their ability to discern errors exceeds their capability levels--and those things probably rankle.

Victor is not a dumbass. Victor is a freaking genius.

So let's talk about Chihoko-gate. It starts because Yuuri tells Victor that he's not as limber as Shachihoko. Yuuri is drunk at the time, and Victor hears him saying "Chihoko," and thinks that Chihoko is a person.

This takes place post-Victor's return to the ice. We don't know how he did. We do know that he was competing against Yuuri and Yurio, both of whom are more flexible than he is. Victor knows this. He's almost certainly tried to design his routines to take advantage of his differing strengths, but he also knows that he can't do some of the things that Yuuri and Yurio can do. He also knows that Yuuri fell for him in the first place because of his skating, and even if he's able to beat Yuuri and Yurio on other aspects of skating, part of him knows that they're better than him.

And now here is Yuuri, teasing him about yet another person who is better than him. An ex. And this hits Victor right in his feelings. Yes, he's extra, and yes, he tries to be the best, and no, even if he knows rationally that it's okay to not be the best at everything, Victor did not get to where he is by telling himself it was okay to not be the best. Yuuri's teasing hits him right in his insecurity.

So, stuff happens, and Yuuri wakes up wearing Victor's underpants and with the words "Overcome Chihoko" written on his back.

Here is the point where I have to pause and apologize. My Japanese is not great. I have not been studying nearly long enough to be remotely good at things. Nonetheless, I'm going to be referencing the actual line written on Yuuri's back in Japanese, and telling you what I think of it, and why I think it, because despite my crapitude at Japanese, I don't think the points I'm making here are subtle or wrong. If someone who is better at Japanese than me disagrees please tell me. I'm happy to edit.

I spent forty minutes searching Twitter for multiple sources on this. So here is what Yuuri has written on his back in Japanese: 「ちほこを越える」 Or, in roumaji, Chihoko o koeru.

And here's the thing: those words are definitely Chihoko - direct object marking particle - verb to overcome or exceed in non-past tense.

In English, when we leave off the actor in a sentence, and say things like "Stop him" or "Fight me" we're using the imperative.

Like I said, my Japanese is not great. It is nonetheless good enough to distinguish between basic verb forms. So I am 100% certain that this is not the imperative form of the verb. I'm also 100% certain that it's not the volitional form of the verb (think, for instance, "let's eat!"). Instead, it's the non-past tense (think "[someone] eats" or "[someone] will eat").

So what the hell is this? Well, it depends on the topic of the sentence. In Japanese, this can be omitted when it's clear, or when the person writing it is dead drunk. (I'm aware that Victor was writing in Cyrillic, but the words he wrote in Cyrillic were only spoken in Japanese, so that's all we have to work from.)

From Victor's future actions, I'm going to take a guess that what Victor meant by this incredibly cryptic non-actor-specifying note is that he was going to go overcome Chihoko. Chihoko is more limber than Victor? Ha. Victor will show them all. Victor will show the entire world how awesome he is.

So he goes and climbs up Hasetsu Castle and starts stretching, because damnit, he's not going to let anyone outdo him. Along the way, presumably, he starts to sober up. And while Victor is Extra, and Victor is not entirely rational, he's rational enough to know that Yuuri chose him. Right around this time is probably when he announces that Chihoko may be Yuuri's past, but Victor is his now.

So Yuuri eventually this out. When he finds Victor, Victor demands to know if he's better than Chihoko, and Yuuri's response is, who the hell is Chihoko? I could search the world and nobody would be better than you.

Now let's pause. In the version of this story where it's nothing more than a simple crackfic done for laughs, this is a simple drunken misunderstanding that escalates to ridiculous proportions because of fanservice, and it ends with everyone naked ha ha ha, Victor is so extra.

But I don't think you get to be the best without being deeply insecure (and oh, I could talk for years about this). You learn to hide your insecurities, yes, because you learn from painful experience that it's a dick move to tell everyone who is worse than you how bad you actually are. But people who are secure in all ways very rarely push themselves beyond the edge of ability.

And this is why this is not pure crackfic. In the pure crackfic version of this story, Yuuri finds Victor naked and says, "Victor, you know I only want you, please come down. You're being ridiculous." And eventually, Victor finally understands that he's being ridiculous and Yuuri loves him and he comes down.

But this is not the pure crackfic version. Behind the simple drunken misunderstanding is an actual real emotional issue. The drunken misunderstanding just brought it to life. The issue is this: Victor feels insecure about Yuuri.

You know what wouldn't help Victor feel more secure about Yuuri? Being told that he's ridiculous and needs to tone himself down to be acceptable. The pure crackfic version is one that only pays attention to the drunken misunderstanding, and doesn't try to do anything about--or even exacerbates--the real emotion behind it all.

Instead, Yuuri strips and joins Victor on the roof, because he loves Victor as he is, because being extra means that sometimes extra shit happens. If Yuuri can help Victor feel secure in him, why not strip in front of friends, family, and an impending camera crew?

In other words, Yuuri meets Victor where he is. And I can't imagine anything more utterly romantic than that.

Obviously, I’ve done a whole mass of interpolation of emotions here, but... I don’t think I’m entirely wrong. And I very much think that Yamamoto and Kubo understand how hard world-class geniuses are on themselves. I’m sure they do it to themselves, too.

I have a lot more to say about why this gives me hope for the movie and season 2, but this post is already long enough. Some other time.

[vondehnvisuals]

Hello every One, and welcome to the Thursday Thing King Edition of the Good News Journal, thank You for joining Me.  Tomorrow Will be two weeks from the date of delivery of My Letter of Demand for compensation for the harm done to Me by the negligence of Housing Services, the organization Trusted to ensure emergency shelters contracted by the city to provide emergency shelter services for Ottawa’s People are Acting in compliance with their contractual agreements.  Wow, what a mouthful!

Needless to say, I have no Idea what to expect, except that I Will get a reply.  Geneviève Langlais, associate legal council for the city of Ottawa is not like Jason Prevost, Deanna Vecchiarelli, Caroline Franks, M.P. Lloyd Longfield and so many others who refuse to respond to a Letter when they are backed into a corner; Geneviève is Honourable.  So I have every reason to believe I Will receive a response, though I have no Idea what it Will be.

$137,000.00 may sound like a lot of money but it really isn’t; not when One considers that My rights were violated daily for a period of four months after informing both the director of the program, Drew Corley, and the general manager, Jason Prevost, that compelling Me (and other clients) to participate in religious activities against My Will is a violation of the Ontario Human Rights Code.  That makes the offence Willful and deliberate (not that ignorance of the Law is any kind of an excuse, anyway).  Never mind the Way the complaint was initially ignored by the investigative branch (Housing Services), or that the same organization committed fraud on at least one occasion with respect to several issues.  Considering that the Salvation Army was compelling all clients to participate in religious services in order to participate in any of their programs the entire time I was a client, it seems reasonable to believe the practice was nothing new and has probably been going on since the Salvation Army first developed their social programs.  Housing Services never once noticed this?

One of the obligations of emergency shelters in the provision of social programs is to ensure that Housing Services (the city) are provided copies of all applications to social programs for which they are receiving city funding.  Presumably this is done so the city knows how many People are in the program, and also so they have some kind of Idea what services the programs are offering the client(s).  So Housing Services never once reviewed any of the application forms for the social programs the city is funding?

Shelley also indicated that Housing Services cannot compel shelter operators to provide copies of any of the application forms which is either a lie or another Act of negligence on the part of Housing Services that further demonstrates their incompetence with respect to reviewing the shelters and protecting the rights of Ottawa’s People.

I believe Geneviève Langlais Will know the investigation proves I’ve been seriously harmed by My experience, Willfully attacked and demoralized by both the Salvation Army management and Shelley VanBuskirk/Housing Services, and treated with extreme prejudice by both the Salvation Army and the Housing Services investigative branch – that doesn’t mean Shelley VanBuskirk Will do the right thing.  And My intuition tells Me the final decision Will be up to her – she hasn’t even retracted her unwarranted attack upon the Good Nature of My Character.

One of My unique qualities is My ability to see an argument from both sides.  Housing Services got caught committing fraud.  That is a very serious offence.  The moment that was discovered, Shelley VanBuskirk should have been replaced (at least in My opinion).  If I were on city council and I found out that the investigative branch Trusted to ensure the rights of Ottawa’s People are protected were Willfully lying to members of council and chair deans on Matters that concern taxpayer spending, I would be furious – and You can bet I would have her removed immediately and I would probably hire an independent organization to go into all the shelters with a copy of the emergency shelter standards to provide a non-partisan investigation before anyone from the Salvation Army might have time to bribe them.  That’s what should have been done.  Unfortunately, because Shelley VanBuskirk’s negligence is so serious, it appears she is trying to cover her tracks.  You know what they say, once One tells a lie, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger until eventually the Truth comes out.

So who knows, maybe Shelley Will offer some earth shattering apology, admit that she was negligent in her duties, claim it was an ‘honest’ mistake, offer something to compensate Me for My injuries, and be as King of Me for Give-ness.

“Ask and thou Shall receive.”

The Honourable thing for Housing Services to do, would have been to offer Me something for My injuries; anything would have been better than nothing, and that offer should have been made upon the conclusion of their investigation.  Instead, Shelley attacks the Good nature of My Character for no reason.  That is probably the most infuriating detail of this investigation.  Not only was I not ‘made whole’, but the investigative branch Willfully caused Me further injury – and I’m to believe I’m not being discriminated against?

So, if the response I receive tomorrow is not favourable, not only Will I pursue the Matter in the Superior Court, I Will file criminal charges against Shelley VanBuskirk of the Housing Services branch for breach of the public Trust.

Breach of trust by public officer

122 Every official who, in connection with the duties of his office, commits fraud or a breach of trust is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years, whether or not the fraud or breach of trust would be an offence if it were committed in relation to a private person.

R.S., c. C-34, s. 111

Again, not a huge fan of Canada’s legal fiction, but I do find some gems now and then.  Above, “whether or not the fraud or breach of Trust would be an offence if it were committed in relation to a private person.”

Basically, a ‘private person’ is a special kind of person with a different status than the ‘public’ citizen.  In layman’s terms, it means they can’t claim it’s not a breach of public Trust because I’m Sovereign.  Even if the code didn’t apply to the Sovereign, I am not the only one who was affected by Shelley VanBuskirk’s fraudulent claims to chair deans and members of council, so I could still Act as an informant to the Court Justice.

So if the Letter isn’t favourable and indicative of serious regret and remorse for the harm done both to Me and other clients of the shelter subject these conditions, I Will file criminal charges against the Housing Services branch and Shelley VanBuskirk in particular as the ‘Voice’ of the organization.

Wow, I didn’t mean for this to be so long!  In Case You are wondering why I used a picture of a flower for this Post, I figure I Will be tall King about Our Tarot read on and off for potentially the next six months or longer (I really do have a lot of information to share) and I can’t just Keep posting the same images – that gets boring.  So My intention was to brighten up Your day as this hibiscus bloom did mine.  I pollinated this beautiful lady today, too (and saved some of the pollen to cross germinate future hibiscus plants)!

In case You are wondering how to pollinate a hibiscus, I took a little video (though I’m not a great director, You Will have to look at the photo to see the results, but I am thing King One gets the Idea).

First Bloom in the new room!

And finally, I thought I would share a little experiment I tried propagating Schefflera Arboricola…

Taking branches at the node makes a pretty green bouquet.

And if You are Lucky, it might shoot roots, too!

Alright, every One, hope You are having a Thrilling Thursday, thank You so much for being here.

Love and Blessings,

Volume LXXI: Thing King of Shelley VanBuskirk; Breach of Public Trust Hello every One, and welcome to the Thursday Thing King Edition of the Good News Journal, thank You for joining Me.