#I’m not going back to jail for fandom crimes I haven’t recovered since the corn cock incident

[fandom-necromancer]

905. Why are you constantly carrying that thing around with you?

And another number 905 for the wonderful @markusandkaraandconnor! Thanks for prompting and enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warnings: Racism against Androids in the first two paragraphs)

‘Look at them… Damn android fuckers start to sprout like weeds everywhere!’ Gavin tried to filter it all out and enjoy the evening, but with them not even trying to keep it down to a whisper, that wasn’t really possible. ‘I mean look at that shit. Wine-flavoured Thirium? What the hell. As if these things would know the difference. How did they even test it? The stuff would be poisonous for humans anyway.’ Gavin stared down on his plate, only looking up to awkwardly smile at Nines, whose LED was at a steady red. He hadn’t looked their way yet, but from the corner of his eyes he saw them sitting at a table for two, much like him and Nines. This time the second person spoke up: ‘Look at the guy. Of course, he settled for a machine. With a face like that only an android could love you.’ Gavin sank further down into his seat, trying to gulp down a bit of his food, that only tasted like ashes now. Nines instead straightened his spine and fixed the pair. Two men, both human, wearing formal clothes. From facial structures alone the android detected a 73% chance they were brothers. ‘Would it be too much to ask that you keep your voice down, so we both could enjoy our meals in peace?’, he asked, keeping up the ever-polite outer shell to disguise his building rage.

Gavin was thankful to have him. Were he alone he had long taken their respective dishes and clubbed them to unconsciousness with them. And that was still well within the realm of possibilities as politeness just wouldn’t make them stop. ‘Oh, what? Did we hurt your feelings? Do you even have them?’ ‘Look at that red light. Goddamn thing needs a mood-light to emote, of course it has no feelings.’ Gavin clenched his teeth and laid down fork and knife not to attack the two with it if they only took so much as another breath his direction. ‘Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, I’m speaking to you, android-fucker. Does he do the windows-error noise when orgasm?’

‘Let’s go, Nines’, Gavin pressed through gritted teeth. ‘Detective, I don’t think that is nec-‘ ‘Nines. Let’s go.’ The android only ever called him by his title when in distress. Gavin knew they had to move now if they wanted to avoid this ending in a fight. And he wanted to avoid that, if not to stay out of a fight then to avoid the police being called and him explaining to his colleagues what had happened. ‘…Fine’, Nines nodded stiffly, standing up and putting on his jacket before walking around the table helping Gavin into his. ‘Aww, it seems they want to figure that one out right away’, one of them giggled and Gavin snapped. ‘You two are complete and utter assholes who don’t deserve my time, but I have you know that any organic you may have phcked or – if you are even capable of that – loved, won’t ever be fit to hold a candle to my partner. I surely hope you die alone in a cold, dark alleyway and that I don’t have to work on that case then. Thanks for ruining our evening.’ He had spoken in a cold, deadpan tune, while reaching over to the salt and decorating their respective meals with a generous amount of it. ‘Enjoy yours.’ With that he marched out, Nines following close.

They drove home in silence, Gavin only now calming down. He had his damn share of these people in his life already and he knew getting angry about it wouldn’t help. But he would be damned if he didn’t stand up for his partner. Nines didn’t deserve these sorts of comments. He hadn’t done anything wrong, Gavin being his first and most likely only love. Gavin would have accepted it if it was just on his person, he had phcked up numerous times already, had accepted and was happy to be alone forever until half a year ago. But not Nines. Never Nines.

He had hoped the android would have calmed down, too. But once they entered their home and Gavin had closed the door, Nines exploded. ‘Damn humans! Why would they do that? It had been a nice evening! Why would anyone have the desire to ruin someone else’s life this way? I can’t even begin to understand it. I-I-‘ Static mixed in with his voice and Gavin could only look at him in shock. ‘Gavin, I love you a lot and my feelings are real. Please believe me.’ There was a desperate, pleading look on his face he would never be able to forget, and it could as well have been a physical knife pushed into his heart and twisted around because this? This shit hurt.

‘Nines! Nines, don’t. Don’t say things like that, don’t let this get to you. Of course, you have feelings, of course you love me. I know that. I love you too. You are the best thing to ever happen to me! Please, forget their stupid comments. They mean nothing!’ ‘But they are right. I am a thing. I can’t know if flavoured thirium tastes like the real thing. Me acting like a human is just an act. I am a machine and nothing I do will ever change that.’ ‘Do you think that matters to me?’, Gavin asked, reaching out to hold Nines’ trembling hands. ‘Do you think it matters to me how human you are? Take this today as an example of how shitty humans can be. I don’t love you for your ability to taste food you can’t even eat. I love you for that weird look you gave me when we first tried flavoured thirium-drinks. That expression was priceless and you getting all excited about the different tastes and ingredients is one of my favourite memories of us.’ He moved up to cup his cheek. ‘Please. My love for you doesn’t come with any conditions. Especially not for how human you are. You have far exceeded the levels of humanity anyone of us could give.’

‘I just…’ Nines looked away, moving out of Gavin’s touch. ‘Sometimes I ask myself whether a human partner wouldn’t be better for you. I… We can’t even have sex.’ ‘Nines, just stop. Do you really think that shit is important? I like to have fun once in a while, but that doesn’t mean- Listen. No human would ever want me. And I don’t want any human. I want you. And only you.’ Gavin wanted to move in again, hold Nines and show him what he really meant for him, but the android evaded him once again, this time even moving a few steps away. ‘No. You are only saying that to make me feel better!’ He reached up to his temple, dug his fingers into the synth-skin there and before Gavin could shout at him to stop, Nines had pried off his LED, throwing it into the bin next to the door violently. ‘I- I have to go’, he muttered, static heavy in his voice and Thirium trailing down his face. In a heartbeat he had opened the door and slipped out, leaving Gavin behind.

He felt empty as he sunk to the floor against a wall. What had just happened? A few words spoken without care and taken too seriously were all it needed to blow any air right out of him. Gavin looked at the bin, remembered the exact sound the LED had made as it hit the plastic. ‘Phck’, he sighed to himself. Maybe he should have made a scene. Maybe he should have beaten the shit out of these two guys. If only his android would still be here with him then. He had become so used to Nines being around that their home now just felt empty. Lifeless even. He chuckled humourless close to tears. How phcking ironic.

He pushed himself from the ground what could be minutes or hours later and fetched the LED from the trash. He brushed over it a few times, freeing it from carrot pieces stuck to the half-evaporated Thirium on it. He took the little disk with him to the kitchen, carefully cleaning it with a sponge until he was sure there wasn’t any dirt on it. Then he changed into something comfortable and sat down on the couch so he could keep the door in view. All the time he held the LED fiercely in his grasp, holding it to his chest and kissing it gently in the futile hopes through whatever techno-magic they had built into it, Nines would be able to feel it. ‘Phck, Nines, please come home’, he pleaded through his grief-struck voice as he curled in on himself around the LED. He had cried enough so no new tears would come, and he only was immensely tired now. Darkness had settled around him as he hadn’t had the spirit to switch on any lights since they came home. It was late in the night already, maybe even very early morning, as Gavin fell asleep then and there on the couch, holding the disk close and muttering over and over: ‘Just come home. I love you.’

-

The next day he had woken up stiff, cold and alone. Oh, if that didn’t awake some unpleasant memories of the past… He had opted for a shower first, before trying to build up energy for a change into real clothes and breakfast. He succeeded in neither, spending the morning where he had spent the whole night, curled around the LED and turning it in his fingers. He had sent Nines a message on his phone, reading: I miss you babe. Please come home when you feel like it. I’m waiting for you and I’m worried. I love you. So far there hadn’t been an answer, but he was stuck on read. So at least he had seen it. He was probably fine then. At least not physically hurt. He spent all Saturday on that couch, turning on the TV in the hopes of being distracted. It didn’t work. He fell asleep to his plead to whoever was listening that Nines would come back. At least this time he had thought to get a blanket.

Sunday wasn’t better. No answer from Nines. Another text message from Gavin that he could come home whenever he was ready, that he hoped he was okay, that he missed him and loved him. Gavin felt as if he hadn’t done enough and at the same time didn’t know what else to do. Nines had told him he needed to go. And he would give him all the time he needed to think. Hell, even if he decided he didn’t want to be with him anymore… Gavin didn’t want to think about that too much as the knife in his chest reappeared every time he did, but… If Nines felt that way, Gavin would let him go. If only he knew he was happy and well then. The worry chewed away at him. He hadn’t eaten more than a piece of bread and some instant noodles the whole weekend and while he knew it wasn’t healthy, he just couldn’t get more down.

Everything in him was focussed on Monday. He would have never thought to look forward to a Monday while it was still weekend, but Nines would be at work, right? He would see him tomorrow for sure. He had to know he was alright.

It felt weird driving in his car without his partner sitting next to him. His LED was resting above the radio, Gavin’s constant companion by now. He didn’t even go to the toilet without it. He walked into the precinct like a ghost, several people even asking him if he was okay. He sat down on his chair, eyeing the desk in front of him. Shit, he had been so sure Nines would be there. Sitting there, staring at his screen. Ready to be hugged. Phck. He looked through the bullpen, his eyes locking on Connor. He had sworn to never talk to that tin-can again after that incident in the evidence room. But goddamn, this was for Nines.

‘Hey, Connor, err… Sorry to disturb, but-‘ ‘What do you want, Reed?’, the android brushed him off. ‘I was getting there, thank-‘ ‘I only tolerate you because my brother made the mistake of loving you. Now get to the point.’ Gavin swallowed. Yep, no chance in mending that shit-show. ‘Is he okay?’ That made Connor look up. ‘What? I worry about him, shit-head! Don’t look at me like that.’ ‘He is… He is getting better. He thinks about you a lot and from what he told me he misses you, too. He gave me his phone, so he wouldn’t answer.’ Gavin nodded. ‘Is he safe?’ He hated how weak he sounded, especially in front of Connor, but he just didn’t care anymore. Maybe that was what made Connor’s face soften. ‘He is. He is staying with us at the moment. Though I would advise you not to come over. He needs time.’ ‘I know. He told me and I will give him all the time he needs to figure it all out.’ He took a deep breath, but he was already so far in, what would it hurt to admit more. ‘I love him, Connor. I really do. Trust me, if I was ever true with anything in my life, it would be this. I just want him to be happy.’ ‘He loves you too. These idiots at the restaurant just struck every uncertainty he had about your… relationship. He will figure it out in time. If you believe me or not, I am on your side with this. You mean to much to him and he is too happy with you – whatever he sees in you – that I want him to come back to you, too.’ Gavin for once decided to be civil with the toaster. This really meant a lot. ‘Thank you, Connor.‘ ‘Don’t mention it.’

-

Still, Nines didn’t show up on Tuesday. Neither did he come Wednesday or Thursday. Gavin looked worse for wear every day, but no one questioned it. Maybe news had come around already. Maybe no one cared because that was “just Gavin”. But on Friday, Gavin walked into the precinct, slumped down behind his screen and mindlessly started scrolling through his emails before his brain caught up with him and he looked up. A familiar android looked back and Gavin could have cried in relief wouldn’t he be so uncertain of how things were between them. ‘H-Hey Nines’, he tried and was stupid enough to add a little wave. ‘How… How are you?’ His throat was dried up and speaking was hard.

The android stood up and came over, crouching in front of him. ‘I’m sorry, I stayed away for so long. I needed time to think’, he began and immediately Gavin was in the defensive. ‘No, that’s totally fine, really!’, he hurriedly said, to mask the fact that it had absolutely not been totally fine. He had lost a few kilos or more in that week and wondered how he could ever have functioned without the android. ‘You did mean it, right?’, Nines asked and took the man’s hand gently in his. ‘That you love me and don’t want any human? That you want me? And only me?’ ‘Yes!’, Gavin nodded quickly. ‘Yes, I meant that.’ ‘And that you don’t care about me being a machine?’ ‘Absolutely, Nines.’ ‘That’s good to hear’, the android sighed and relaxed, only to frown as he felt the LED trapped between their hands. He took it and held it up to inspect the disk. ‘Why are you constantly carrying that thing around with you?’, he asked. ‘Connor told me you had it with you the whole week.’ ‘Nines, I- I just-‘ ‘I threw it away for a reason, Gavin.’ Gavin just pulled Nines into a hug, regardless of who might be looking and how awkward it had to be. He didn’t care. He had yearned for this for a long time. ‘I don’t care, Nines. It is a part of you. Maybe you don’t like it or don’t want it, but I can’t throw away a part of you. I love you, with LED or without it. And I won’t let you throw away yourself just because some asshole talked shit about you. No one can ever change what I feel for you. And it’s good to have you back.’