#I’m not even THAT tall but I’m also like. gigantic. and super weird and awkward. ok anyway alexa play born to die

[tomatoluvr69]

I am just super shy and sad all the time but I’m basically a giant so it comes across like I’m just this aloof freak urrrrrghgrggrgrgghghhhhhhhhhhhh ok anyways. It’s now illegal to move away if you’re my friend

[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Dark Souls 3 bosses I would or would not date

Iudex/Champion Gundyr

We’re starting off this list with a strong yes. Our boy Gundyr has had a hard, difficult life, and he deserves some good company. He’s tall, strong, and I trust him to protect us as we set a lovely camp site outside of the fire link shrine.

Vordt of the Boreal Valley

Vordt is big and he is feral which are truly the only two qualities I look for in a man. Together we’d be unstoppable. I mean, think about how easy it would be to go around with him: just climb on his back and let the rodeo begin, baby. This argument alone should be enough to convince you that Vordt is a suitable boyfriend, but here’s another one: if you get too hot in the summer, worry fucking not for your gigantic man can hold his equally gigantic hammer over you and cover you with snow like an italian man covering his pasta with parmesan.

Cursed Rotted Greatwood

Now while I’m certain it would be a perfect partner for some people, the Cursed Rotted Greatwood isn’t for me. For one, I am not fan of curses, or rot, or weird sticky balls, or strange orange acid, or pale white and slightly viscous hands bursting through a living tree. Secondly, I feel like the crowd of Hollows who group up around the tree would be a big impediment to our intimacy, and I’m not ready to be the mother of 20 Hollows.

Crystal Sage

No offense but you’d be an idiot for not wanting to date the Crystal Sage. All wrapped up in one package, you get a super competent sorcerer bf, who wears the coolest hat in the galaxy and an equally cool cape, and who overall looks like the upgraded version of a plague doctor. In addition to that he also has a pretty rapier so you can both engage in some sparring (which we all know is the most romantic couple activity).

Deacons of the Deep

Probably one of the worst options on the list, they’re all crusty, rotting men moaning around a biggass coffin. There are many technical questions. If I dated a deacon, would I have to date all of them? Can we go out on dates or are they obligated to stay next to the coffin at all times? Can I even date them at all?? Not that I would, because I have standards. The only pro to entering this relationship(s?) would be that I’d probably get one of their robes for free, but the cons are so numerous that I’d rather buy it myself.

Abyss Watchers

Let’s be real and honest even if it hurts. Would I date an Abyss Watcher? Yes. Maybe I’d even date two. However, would an Abyss Watcher date me? No, because they’re all in love with Artorias, and I can’t blame them for that.

Old Demon King

At first I considered dating the Old Demon King like a Russian Instagram model dates an old, rich American man: with a great deal of fake love but above all great patience in order to be the only person on the will. But then I thought about it more, and what does the Old Demon King have to offer, really? A big firework show that will leave him exhausted like the old creature he is, and maybe some pyromancies. Truly, it is not worth it, especially since I’d have to take residence where he lives, in a big old room filled with the corpses of his kin.

High Lord Wolnir

I��ve got nothing against Wolnir personally, but I have no interest in skeletons, nor in his army of skeleton children. As stated above I’m not ready to be a mother. I feel like if we got in an argument and he sighed, he would poison me with his awful breath and I would die a horrible death. Also, living on the brink of the Abyss doesn’t appeal to me that much. However I would like Wolnir to be a good friend I can talk jewelry with because let’s be honest, the man (skeleton?) is blinged the fuck out even in death and I respect that.

Yhorm the Giant

Yes, I would date Yhorm. He was nothing but a sweet, misunderstood giant who always tried to get people to trust him and he convinced me. I would put my life in his big hands. Think of the possibilities. Just like with Vordt he could carry you everywhere but in a less reckless way if you prefer proper manners. You’d never have to worry about not seeing anything at a concert. Also, may I add that waiting for you to show up while sitting on his biggass throne is an absolute power move? Yhorm is a Lord of Cinder, but above all, a Lord of this heart.

Pontiff Sulyvahn

Would I date him because of his appealing aesthetic? Yes. Would I date him for anything else? No. Sulyvahn is absolutely terrifying, completely unhinged in the most frightening way, which is that he doesn’t look bat shit crazy. I could be thinking that everything is going well in our relationship then suddenly he’d lock me in a dungeon then would feed me to his weird friend because I put a fork in the knife drawer. He could pretend to propose and give me a weird fucked up ring with his eye in it and the next thing I know I’d be running in a field on all fours. I don’t trust like that.

Aldritch, Devourer of Gods

I’m so sad about Aldritch because literally everything about him is completely unappealing, unacceptable, unnatural, unholy, abhorrent, but he has the delicate and beautiful face of Gwyndolin. While our lovely Gwyndolin looks gorgeous as ever it doesn’t make up for the fact that Aldritch devoured people and probably wouldn’t find love to be a good reason to not eat his partner. The only reason I can find to have a friendship (not even a romantic relationship) with him is if you really like experimenting with cooking and you really, really need someone to taste your inventions.

Dancer of the Boreal Valley

I feel attraction, which means that just like any other being who feels attraction, I would date the Dancer. She is beautiful, graceful, a bit feral, and would not hesitate to put a flaming knife to my throat, which is the description of my dream woman. Imagine walking the streets with her, trying to hold her hand while it dangles 3 feet above you and she insists on holding her sword, actually, so she might slay anyone who tries to approach you, which she communicates through icy breaths and murmurs. The date of a lifetime.

Oceiros, the Consumed King

Another awful choice on this list, Oceiros is RABID and also, as far as we know, still a married man. You really want to date a man that hasn’t even gone through his divorce but already looks like this? Me neither. I’m already not big on dragon fucking but the fact that he’s all viscous and has weird growths all over him is not helping. Also, he has children, and we know how I feel about that — although, given how he treats them, he probably won’t have kids very soon (too far?).

Ancient Wyvern

So I’ve stated that I’m not very big on dragon fucking. With that said, do I think the wyvern is sexy and beautiful? Absolutely so. You’re probably like « Blue you’re sending mixed signals, are you gonna date the lizard or not? » and to that I say, date? Perhaps not. I would however like to form a lifelong bond with this wonderful force of nature and fight by its side, live a long and fulfilling life travelling along with it, only to die at the same time atop the tallest mountain in the world, where our skeletons will be discovers hundreds of years in the future by brave explorers, who will confirm that the legendary songs that were written about us were in fact not just a myth.

Nameless King

You’ve just read what I said about the wyvern. I feel like the Nameless King really understands me and would respect me for that. We could bond over our love of dragons and other flying scaly beasts and perhaps share some chaste kisses while soaring the sky on our companions. It’s nice to date someone who loves pets as much as you. I feel like he would be a fun guy to hang around in general, maybe he’d let you braid his hair or try on his crown. He can arrange personalized fireworks shows for you with his lightning powers. I don’t think you’d ever be bored around him.  

Dragonslayer Armor

Dating an empty suit of armor has never bothered me (see: ds2 Ruin Sentinels), however I have beef with the dragonslayer armor. Is it a beautiful armor? Perhaps a bit worn off, but the reply remains affirmative. However, it is controlled by Pilgrim Butterflies, which basically means I’m dating one to multiple of these things in the shape of an armor, and I’ve gotta confess that I’m not down for that.

Lorian Older Prince and Lothric Younger Prince

Here comes the delicate moment where we have to make a choice without offending anyone. I personally, speaking for myself, in my own opinion, would rather date Lorian. Reason: he is big, strong, and a bit rabid, which I’ve made very clear is my type. I don’t dislike Lothric, but I feel like we’d be better off as best friends who have a really snarky group chat where we shit talk the entire kingdom. That’s pretty good because if I even just slightly disliked Lothric I’m pretty sure Lorian would sense it and would not hesitate to murder me on sight.

Champion’s Gravetender and Champion Greatwolf

Well the full name is just a formality here, I’m not completely insane so I don’t want to date this rabid wolf. I feel like the Champion’s Gravetender is just a normal dude who’s a bit in over his head and it’s not his fault but he just seems a bit boring compared to all my other options. Instead of a date I think he’d be more of an awkward flirt I had when I was bored and then I came to my senses but didn’t know how to disengage, but in the end it worked out because he was more interested in his work anyway.

Sister Friede and Father Ariandel

Again a choice has to be made and I will have to be predictable and say I’d date Elfriede. Just like Dancer she’s what the woman of my dreams is made of. She’s graceful and could easily take my life and I think it’s awfully sexy of her to be like that. I think I’d be accepted into the family pretty easily, which is important since Father Ariandel cares about Friede so much. I’d go visit him sometimes, play chess with him, bring him his flail, normal interactions with your girlfriend’s dad.

Soul of Cinder

I’m gonna be a tiny bit freaky here and say I’d date the Soul of Cinder. Dating it is just like opening a Kinder Surprise egg, you never know what you’re gonna get (sorry Americans for excluding you here). That makes life exciting and doesn’t let routine stall your relationship. Every day you can wake up with the question « What weapon will my darling walk around with today? The flaming sword, or the sorcery staff? » and be surprised by the answer. Truly ideal, but I understand it’s not for the faint of heart.

Demon Prince

I’m gonna go with a maaaaaaybeeeee? leaning towards no. I mean yes, the Demon Prince is a weird fleshy flaming demon, and that may be a bit gross, but I’ve gotta admit I admire his style, the drama of it all. The care he puts into his entrance, the attitude in his moves. If we don’t date I’d at least want to be friends so he can teach me his ways.

Darkeater Midir

I have very intense and contradictory feelings towards Midir. In one hand, holy shit, absolutely epic dragon, the spirit of companionship is growing in me. On the other hand, this beast is RABID and pretending I could tame him is foolish, and pretentious. I guess in the end the answer remains that I don’t date dragons, I just want to adopt them as my extremely exotic pets.

Halflight, Spear of the Church

Yeah I’d date Halflight, I know it’s the easy answer but look at him. I mean shit he’s walking around like a little thotty with his shirt open and you mean to tell me I’m not supposed to wanna date him because he looks pretty much like a regular dude? My boy Halflight WANTS me to date him or else he would not show up with his tiddies out to a sword fight, which as an activity already has enough erotic implications on its own.

Slave Knight Gael

I’m gonna say it unashamedly and I’ll say it again: I would date Gael. He’s been nothing but helpful and when he tries to attack you it’s to help his little lady that he’s adopted as his niece. We love a chaotic parental figure. Maybe he’s a tad bit old and dirty but there’s nothing a good bath can’t fix and I’m sure he’d appreciate having someone taking care of him for once. Again, he’s got that slightly unhinged quality to him that makes him delightful. When I walk around with my partner I want us to instill both fear and fascination in people which we would be able to accomplish perfectly well.

Dark Souls 1: Remastered date list // Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin date list

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

AU Raffle: Cryptid AU!

[COMPLETE]

The result of the random selection was the Cryptid AU! Multiple people suggested this, so I'm looking forward to hearing all the ideas and extensions you guys will come up with. This will be a masterpost collecting them all, and it will be pinned for the duration of the AU.

Original suggestion: "For the Raffle. Cryptid AU. None of the Hermits are truly human and they all are really powerful cryptids that are hiding their true nature. The catch! Every Hermit thinks the other Hermits are totally normal and they are the only cryptid one. Hilarity ensures with everyone trying to explain the extrange things that keep happening "

Some ideas I came up with:

- every Hermit is a cryptid or monster of some kind, except for Grian, who is fully human and completely clueless about everything that's going on (suggested by a previous ask)

- Team ZIT is an investigation group trying to prove the existence of cryptids, but each one of them is subtly trying to sabotage the investigation to hide their own cryptid-ness. None of the three know the other two are also cryptids. Hilarity ensues.

- Xisuma probably knows what's going on with everyone, but he's not saying anything

- Mumbo is doing an absolutely horrible job of hiding that he's a cryptid, but somehow people still don't notice. Iskall is probably the closest to figuring it out.

- VintageBeef has already figured out that Keralis isn't human, but Keralis is bribing him to keep quiet

I hope that's enough to get the ball rolling! Send in your ideas using asks, and I'll put them down here!

If you need ideas about which cryptid would fit best with which Hermit, this list may be helpful.

Anonymous Additions:

- I feel like xisuma should be some kind of shapeshifter

- cleo was brought back to life by a family that loved her very much- or at least, that was what they tried to do. in reality, they brought a completely new soul back in the body of a deceased relative. cleo felt uncomfortable around people who thought she was a different person than she was, so she ran away and eventually befriended the hermits bc she just felt ~drawn to them~. she disguises her bloodless skin and lack of body heat with thick clothes and lots of makeup

- Cleo, of course, is a zombie, but she also has ties to Cthulu that she doesn't really try to hide, but that people overlook all the time. I'm just saying, an avatar of an eldritch being having to be a zombie kinda makes sense...

- Cthulu needed a body, and this kind family was nice enough to supply one! It was kinda their fault really, praying to ancient gods and making deals without reading the fine print. Cleo might feel guilty, but it wasn't on her, not really

- cryptid au: joe isn't a human, but a changeling: a shapeshifting, nonhuman entity that evolved to invade human families like a cuckoo. he has the ability to bend light to make illusions, but he normally just uses his powers to make himself appear human. however he does like to make all lime green things he sees invisible, for the lulz

- What about mumbo being a vampire, it just introduces the idea of so many odd behaviors that the others are just oblivious to

- What if ren is a werewolf(I know it isn't original) and he just thinks of the other hermits as his pack and is therefor very protective of them

- Obligatory Ren is a Werewolf for the Cryptid AU. He is acts like a gigant puppy when he is in wolf form. Nobody questions why sometimes they found a gigant wolf trying to play fetch with them. But nobody is complaining. Everyone talks about it and Ren is just upset because the gigant pupper has never come to see him. Surprise!! Not even Ren knows he is a werewolf

- idk if your still doing cryptid stuff because i don't really know how this works but,, what if everyone thinks that Grian Is Something when he's not. They keep trying to figure it out by asking him weird questions or trying to get him to do weird stuff, but he still stays completely oblivious. And then since Xisuma knows what everyone is, he thinks it's hilarious trying to watch everyone try to find something that isn't there.

- Cryptid au: Doc has made it obvious that he is a cryptid like, he explains it so obviously even an idiot would tell that he's one, But no one has figured out yet. So after the 15th time of explaining things he decides to present how he's a cryptid, by making a goatess.

- For the au, I have 2 ideas for grian, either he is very outspoken about not believing in the super natural, or he very much does believe in the supernatural, either way he unknowingly befriends multiple cryptids and is very confused

- Cryptic AU: Tango has fire for hair, and no ones really questioned as to why?

- What if false was a siren, just because it seems like an interesting idea (my addition: Wels would also make a great siren)

- Stress seems like the type to be an elf, graceful and cheerful, and of course admiring nature's beauty

- What if Impulse was mothman, I like this idea because of the whole team zit being paranormal investigators and they just go looking for mothman on one trip, and Impulse is just standing there probably feeling a bit awkward

- If Impulse is Mothman and he can fly and Tango is like a fire demon that controls fire, is only fair that Zed is an aquatic Cryptid. Maybe related to a lake monster or he is a Sea Serpent

- Yeti Iskall getting used to the hot environment of the Jungle??? Maybe?

- i have no clue how this works but etho is related to ningen in a way (Antarctic sea creatures from Japanese folklore)

- Joe's poems seem to stick in your head, echoing around for hours after you hear them, ringing between your ears. Their subjects vary, but they often seem eerily prophetic, warnings encased in rhythm and rhyme. Sometimes you swear you can hear the soft scritch of a pen on paper, before you realize you are the only one around.

- Wait how the hell would jevin hide that fact he's a slime? Better yet how do the other hermits not put to and to together? Through I think jevin probably wouldn't even bother trying to hide it, I mean he's a huge blob of slime how would you not be able to tell

(my response, summarized) Jevin inhabits a body of slime because that's the easiest way to hide his true form. "Jevin" is a non-physical entity that can possess other lifeforms by destroying their will. He chose a slime this time because it was easy and inconspicuous.)

- Cryptid au: Team ZIT have a headquarters and they all pitched in to commission Etho to make their door bell chime, the ghost busters theme, and afterward interrogated Etho to the ground.

- Doc is not a creeper with cyborneticts. Doc is the AI that came with the cyborneticts and over-wrote the conciousness of the creeper. Figured that making Doc something else would be too dificult so maybe subverting what he is with what we got alredy is enough (like you did with Jevin)

- I am putting this here for vampire mumbo in the au because the thought will not leave my head. It's dark, and mumbo's eyes seem to reflect light very well, his canine teeth seem just a bit too long and sharp, they seem to be stained red,was he always this tall? Something about him seems off, he seems very elegant in this darkness.

- cryptid au: when joe was young, he was ignored so much that he turned invisible. you can still see his shadow but you could look directly at him and not see him there with the best tools. he disguises himself by staying quiet, using text to communicate with the other hermits or by covering himself with clothes and masks so nobody would be able to see his body even if he wasnt invisible.

- For the au I think that Iskall could be a dryad because of his base this season

- Imagine if you will: Tango leaves town for a bit so the team ZIT can't do their "investigations". Impulse gets bored and decided to pretend to kidnap Zedaph in mothman-form. When Tango returns, Zedaph tells him how he almost was kidnapped by Mothman (and is over-exaggerating on every detail)

- What if in the au there is a situation where team zit is in some sort of danger, and so each of them just independently decide that they have to reveal the fact of their cryptid selves, and they just collectivly think,"huh. Okay." And after they are safe, they just talk about it as a group

- Beef is big foot.

- Biffa looks like a robot or cyborg, which one? He won't say. Maybe its because its neither, maybe he's just a walking body with a mind, maybe he's just a suit of armor roaming the world, maybe a spirit or ghost from the past, maybe a mob whose inhabited and pilots the body, maybe he's just Biffa. Only he knows, but he won't say

- Cryptid AU: I’m just imagining zedaph or tango throwing a bell at grian in an attempt to “capture” him under the suspicion that he’s part fae or something at a server meeting

- About Cryptid!Wels, sometimes, when the night is dark and the world is silent, you'll hear it; a soft voice in the darkness. You can't help but listen to it as you get lost in the song, swaying to the melody as your foot moves to the beat. The song gets louder and your feet are more frantic as they seem to take you somewhere. Suddenly, the voice stops singing and so you stop moving, and when you open your eyes you find yourself on the edge of the cliff overlooking the ocean. The siren lurks near

- Doc isnt a Creeper with cybrog parts but a robot made to look like a creeper, that arm and eye? yea just exposed parts from years of just not caring enough. He's waiting to see when someone will call him out on it. So far, only TFC and X but they like to watch how long this will go. Doc isnt even hiding anymore, he loves to mess with Grian by making remarks that imply he's a robot but Grian just can't figure it out

- tbh I love the idea of Joe as a regular human who just acts super cryptic and strange, and has a bit of skill at poetry. others try and figure out what he is, and he's just vibing in a corner, the last one anyone would expect to be the sole normal person on the server

- Cryptid AU. Joe and Cleo as the ‘One Bagel. No!! Two bagels!’ Vine. Joe being the one that asked and Cleo ignoring Cthulhu

- Joe starts sharing different ideas of what he could be, and only Cleo knows (mostly... she's the closest at least). Joe's mystery is a Hermitcraft classic, greeting every hermit except X, who still only has what Joe's told him to go on. He delights in the chaos he causes

- Scar is a poltergeist, he hides it well. One time Grian caught him using his powers, after scar fessed up, in private, they both bring some amount of chaos to the server, but not to much so the ZIT crypt hunters, name in progress, don't know about the chaos, thus not puting the duo in danger.

- Mumbo might be a vampire, but it isn’t for blood (at least, not anymore). Only Grian has come close to figuring it out, and it’s due to seeing how refreshed and satisfied his friend looks after being around 2+ groups of people. If only he would just straight up and ask. - 🦊

- Rather last minute but do you have any ideas of how Evil Xisuma could fit into this? Would he be a shapeshifter as well. A copy of X's true form? A demon haunting Xisuma? Just X's pesky brother? There's a handful of ideas I can't personally decide what would fit best. Maybe none of them at all, who know?

Cryptid Au. Xisuma shapeshifts for fun. Thats how we get Turtle!Xisuma, Beesuma and Stridersuma. All hermits just assume X changes his suit because they have never seen his face so there is no way for them to know he shifts. Also clasic headcanon that TFC is Herobrine and he is just laying low in Hermitcraft after years of going around worlds. Everyone knows the legend about Herobrine but have not connected the dots yet because TFC is just everyone’s grandpa. No way he could be Herobrine.

- @/ivi-prism

- While most might assume that Grian would be a harpy, its actully Scar. He's incredibly flexable in Human form, hes able to manuver his foot behind his head, and moret than once has Cub walked in on Scar with a living fish in his mouth. He never questioned it because "Hey, Vex magics weird."

- Imagine- sytyr Zedaph and Fae Impulse walking in on Willowwisp Tango who,because willowwisps are typically tiny, shrunk in response to panic and is now stuck in a caldron. I think that be hilarious. Just the idea of impulse going-"YOUR A CRYPTID?" while Zed just "WAIT I KNEW I DIDNT BURN THOSE PAPERS!" Which leads into a discussion of ZIT internal sabotage, and suddenly ZIT invesigation changes direction from "Are cryptids real" to "Is anyone else a Cryptid cause this cannot be a Coincidence"

- @/crypticalwitch

- Cryptic AU: Tango can also control his hair, to an extent. He can slick it back, but it still looks like burning embers. It's a bit mesmerizing

- Cryptid AU: Cub was a normal guy, maybe with some weirder interests, before the Vex. "Playing" with their magic too much is what made him a cryptid. So maybe he understands that the other hermits aren't exactly "human". But it isn't his business, and it means they don't question what the Vex get him into, so he just doesn't say anything about it

- Cryptic AU: Team ZIT's strongest evidence for Grian is the fact he's a master with an elytra, especially since he first said he "might use it a little bit" for long journeys. He's flown into a dark hole in a dark wall that's barely big enough to fit him multiple times, with ease, among other risky stunts that would get other hermits killed. The fact there's not much else to go on, besides his pranking zeal only matched by Zed himself, drives them up the wall

- Cryptic AU: when you stay out too long at night, you might start to feel watched. You'll turn around and nobody is there, but still you feel eyes on your back, and the breeze always seems hot and brushes your neck like too-close breathing and a hand. Finally, you catch it: a familiar figure that stands too stiffly, always just too far away to name. Then it vanishes with an airy shriek, and phantoms descend from the stars. Bdubs did always say the worst things happen in the night.

- Cryptic AU: Impulse's smiles are just a little too big. If you look at one too long, you feel as though it's stretching wider and wider, the cheery shine in his eyes twisting into a hungry gleam, but then you blink and he's back to normal ol Impulse and you question if you really saw anything. That time you saw his smile glinting in the darkness just beyond your bed must've been a nightmare. Your imagination.

- Cryptic AU: Don't look into his eyes. Look in, and you will see the universes. Billions of stars, trillions of futures, all impossibly swirling together, hauntingly beautiful. You'll fall down, down, down through the glittering spirals, until with a breathtaking snap you're on your knees, on solid ground. You're lucky he doesn't want to keep you, like others might. The lives and worlds you glimpsed will echo through your mind, weave through your dreams. Do not fear. Do not look into his eyes.

- The mountain is his territory. If you enter it unbidden, he will ensure you leave, lucky to keep your life. His contraptions are nonsense, seeming to serve no purpose other than to confuse. They distract from how the air crackles on your skin, how it tastes of storms and thunder. They distract how, from the corner of your eye, Zedaph's limbs are too long, fingers with too many knuckles and legs with too many knees. All angles and bones, like his designs. Do not look too closely at his garden.

- Everyone learned not to ask about him. Mostly because in trying to form the question, you'll find the words slipping from your mind. So Tango's hair burns, his eyes are red cherries. In the darkness he glows, the embers of a forgotten fire. His skin is always hot, almost feverish, yet he isnt sick. If he gets too close to lava, the illusion fades, reveals the magma that forms his skin. Illusion? No, that was just a burn. He relishes the smoke and rubble of explosions. Control. Always controlled.

- xB doesn't mind being away from the other hermits. It's quiet there; far enough away that most aren't bothered to prank him. He doesn't like surprises. Surprises get people hurt. Gets his friends hurt. His guardians appreciate the still predictability. The calm. Yes, he prefers to sit back, quiet, and watch. If he looks too long, bad things happen. So he observes it all, never focusing too much on one detail, never letting them go unseen. It prevents surprises.

- Because that last one wasn't all that clear, xB is a guardian-based cryptid! While nothing seems inhuman about him at a glance, he has a close affinity to water, and when threatened the spines he hides with his clothes will stick out. (Guardians only spawn in water, but they actually don't suffocate in air! Though their desperate flopping is a sad sight to behold) Plus, laser-eyes

- Xisuma wasn't always able to change his form as easily or drastically as he can now. But by now, he's forgotten his own face. Now, he'll feel his skin, his body begin to itch with the need to change. He's glad the hermits don't seem to care when he does. Keralis's mimicry was a surprise, but a welcome one. He feels less alone. Loneliness is how he would lose himself. He's scared of that possibility.

- When he sleeps, he walks through the minds of those whose eyes met his, as if it were his own dream. He'll hear their thoughts as if they were his own. He doesn't like this. It feels like an invasion. He feels like a parasite, and maybe he is. Whoever he dreamed through last, they seem exhausted and jumpy after, while he feels energized, near invincible. It's through this ability he knows their deepest secrets, but they aren't his to tell. Sometimes, he wishes he could understand. (Xisuma pt 2)

- Cryptid AU: another reason that Grian cant possibly be a human is his clothes. Just. How does he have something for every occasion. He even has a janitor one? Why did he have that? This "man" doesn't own a single closet yet has at least 20 different costumes-- not to mention you blink and he's changed! Wh- he had a REAPER costume for himself AND SCAR???

- @/basaltdragon

- Cryptid AU: Grian used to be against cryptids because of Sam (YHS) and his bunny attributes, but has since accepted the fact Sam was just a bad apple, and cryptids as a whole are neutral/good.

- Your heart, it beats, like redstone ticking away within you. He knows redstone through and through... so why not you too? Every pulse sent though the machine of your body is one more reason for him to reverse engineer you. But he restrains, takes a step back, as these machines could never be put back together.

- He's been here since the beginning; not of Hermitcraft, but everything. Watching as the game evolved over the years... He smiles at the thought. His hair now matching his eyes - like harsh reflective snow - he recalls these memories fondly. As his eyes fade to their piercing blue, he sighs, for this is home.

- When any of the other Hermits (at least the ones with blood) get injured, Mumbo has to step away. The need for their blood, their lifeforce, is too overwhelming.

- @/12u3ie

- Cryptid AU: with the team ZIT headquarters I thought of something similar to the TEA headquarters from season 3. Probably more confusing, colourful and chock full of even more excessive redstone doors. Why not add another elevator? Where's the coffee machine? Maybe the next room over? Was that corridor there before? I don't know. What's the use of that room? What's behind that door? What's behind you?

- Cryptid AU: with the whole burning hair thing on Tango, another explanation for why no one questions it. That's just Hermitcraft, people just assume he either royally messed up a redstone machine, or succeeded completely, you never know with Tango. Or maybe they think they're sleep deprived. They haven't slept in a while, Bdubs has been reminding them to do so. What were they doing? Maybe they should go home instead. Whatever they were doing can probably be done later. What were they doing?

- @/the-royal-bat-snake

- If joe is a changing then he is some kind of fae folk or as the irish and the Scots call them "the good neighbours" he could like anything, from a human, a small man, like knee height or a small green impish or goblin esque creature. Also changlings were the very old fae folk, not just the babies (humma women were stolen to be nurse maids cus fae folk cant make milk, also stolen to be mistresses) I know a lot of irish faerie lore so if you want to know anymore

- @/whatschooldoesntteachyou

[fnaf-is-awesome201]

I want you to talk about dinosaurs

Really? You do?! Hell yeah! Okay, I'm gonna ramble for a bit about dinosaurs so hope you don't mind if you do mind then I'm sorry. This is gonna be a long post, just warning you now.

Okay, so dinosaurs are cool as fuck and I love them so damn much. They’re just so... awe-inspiring. And they’re some of the coolest animals to ever walk the earth. Some were gigantic, with necks that stretched up towards the sky. Others were tiny, maybe even smaller than a chicken. Some had sharp teeth and claws (usually the most memorable ones like T. Rex and such) and some had armor-plated bodies (like the ankylosaurs). I love them all to death and I love how unique and diverse they were! All these fantastic beasts that one day just disappeared forever. I want to see one. I know, that’s crazy, and Jurassic Park shows how that could be a very bad idea, but I want to see one. Not just in the pages of a dinosaur book. I want something I can touch and feel and just see how truly magnificent they were. Dinosaurs like Dilophosaurus, Velociraptor, Parasaurolophus, Edmontosaurus, Albertosaurus and so many more! I want to see them all. How they lived, what they looked like, how they acted...

Tyrannosaurs are some of the biggest carnivorous dinosaurs, with T. Rex being the most famous. No one talks about the other Tyrannosaurs! Albertosaurus, Gorgosaurus, and probably several others yet to be discovered! These were the “tyrant lizards”! They’re big and scary and utterly fascinating! And T. Rex was the king. Tyrannosaurus Rex, or “tyrant lizard king”, was huge! 40 feet long on average and with a powerful bite, I’m willing to bet they were quite a sight to behold! It’s probably the most famous of the dinosaurs, and I can see why! It commands your attention and your curiosity more than most, and it makes for a great movie monster! Those huge teeth and crushing jaws mixed with it’s powerful legs and instinct to hunt make it an exciting creature!

Even so, it was not the biggest carnivorous dinosaur to roam during the Mesozoic! Even Carcharodontosaurus, the “shark-toothed lizard”, was bigger than a T. Rex! Or Giganotosaurus! I suppose T. Rex gained more of a spotlight because it’s easier to say the name, but there are so many other large predatory dinosaurs that deserve attention and public view!

The smaller carnivores are super cool, too! Allosaurus, the “different lizard” (and my personal favorite medium-sized carnivorous dinosaur) had a narrow head and large claws on it’s three-fingered hands. I’ve seen fossils up-close of these guys, and I have to tell you, it’s amazing. It may not be as big as your favorites, but it is an amazing dinosaur! They have horn-like protrusions over their eyes, and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. They are absolutely beautiful and fascinating creatures!

And as for Velociraptor, you might know them from Jurassic Park. However, the real velociraptor is not nearly as big as those ones, which stand at about 6 ft. tall. The real velociraptor was about the size of a turkey! At about 2 ft. tall and 6 ft. long, Velociraptor (”speedy/quick thief”) was a tiny terror. They most likely hunted in packs to bring down animals much larger than they are. The sickle-shaped claw on both feet was used to puncture, not to tear. They were quick and effective hunters. They were also intelligent, based on the fact that they had a large brain compared to their body size. I love Velociraptors. I really do. I want to understand how they work, what they looked like, and how they lived.

Then there’s the herbivores! Undoubtedly some of the biggest animals to ever roam the Earth! The largest dinosaur currently on record was the Argentinosaurus (”lizard of Argentina” or “Argentina izard”, etc.), a monstrous titanosaur that was about 120 ft. from head to tail and likely weighed nearly 100 tons (200,000 lbs. or so)! They were huge! bigger than even the biggest land-dwelling animals today! Taller than giraffes, even! And you most likly don’t know the sheer scale of dinosaurs like triceratops or Stegosaurus! I’ve seen a Triceratops skull up-close, and I must tell you it was much bigger tahn I thought it would be! Triceratops was about 30 ft. long, with a neck frill span of about 6 ft. and horns that could reach over 3 ft. long! It was much bigger than your car, to give you some scale! And Stegosaurus is quite a sight even as a fossil! With a length of 21-30 ft. and a height of about 14 ft., this massive dinosaur had a very tiny brain. It’s brain is said to be the smallest brain proportional to body size of any dinosaur (any brain size currently known, that is)! Isn’t that fascinating? I’ve seen them up-close, too, and I can tell you that they have a very small head for such a large animal!

Then there’s hadrosaurs, which are amazing on their own! Look up Parasaurolophus, Lambeosaurus or Iguanodon and you’ll see what I mean! There’s so many more, like Corythosaurus, Oranosaurus, Tenontosaurus, etc.! They were herd animals, staying in large groups and nesting together. There’s even evidence, like in the case of Maiasaura, that they took care of and watched over their young! Most of them were pretty big, but an even more fascinating feature was their crests. These dinosaurs often had large crests on their heads, though their function is still debated. They could have been used to make unique calls or to amplify their calls, or they could have been used to identify each other! It really is interesting to think about it!

Then there’s the real oddballs, such as Psittacosaurus, Saltosaurus, any of the Ankylosaurs, and even dinosaurs like Dilophosaurus (two-crested lizard), Monolophosaurus (one-crested lizard), Spinosaurus, and the Pterosaurs! Ankylosaurs (like Ankylosaurus or Euoplocephalus) were large, heavily-armored reptiles, with Ankylosaurus even having armored eyelids! Their backs were covered in bone plating, and they were often covered in spikes or nodules. Several also had a club of solid bone on the end of their tails! The muscle power, combined with the club, could cause some serious damage! Only the most ferocious or desperate of dinosaurs would dare to try and take on these living tanks! The only way to have an advantage would be to hit it from beneath or to flip it over, which wouldn’t have been easy. Spinosaurus was quite an odd creature. With its odd proportions and dense bones, it was likely quadrupedal to help balance it’s weight. It had large, heavy, hooked claws on its arms and a long skull filled with cone-shaped teeth, perfect for catching slippery fish, but not so good for tearing flesh. They were very top-heavy, and likely walked on their knuckles like an anteater so they didn’t dull down their claws. Then there was the sail. It’s still unknown what exactly this sail was for. It would have made it a bit more difficult to move around, but it may have been used to regulate body temperature or to serve as a display! There’s also a possibility that it had webbed feet! While it may look very weird to us, Spinosaurus was perfectly adapted to life by the water! Dense bones helped keep it submerged, likely with only it’s nose and eyes above the water (like a crocodile), while it’s teeth and claws helped it hunt fish and other water-dwelling creatures! Basically, all of that weirdness had a very unique and cool purpose! Spinosaurus looked very different from the Spinosaurus in Jurassic Park 3, but it’s still just as cool! Then there’s the Pterosaurs. Some as small as bats or small birds, and the largest being about the same size as a small plane! They fill a specific role it the prehistoric world, later filled by birds! Pterodactyl was not a dinosaur, but Pterodactylus was! The largest of these creatures, standing taller than a giraffe and with a wingspan of about 50 ft, was Quetzalcoatlus. It’s thought they were likely scavengers, like vultures, but may have occasionally caught their own food. Some Pterosaurs would travel long distances often to reach their nesting grounds, while others did not. Like bats, Pterosaur’s wings were made up of a skin membrane stretched between the body and the elongated finger making up the outer edge of the wing. They were light-weight animals, and everything about them was evolved to make them perfect and graceful fliers, though this likely made them very awkward when on the ground.

Then there’s also the prehistoric marine reptiles! Mosasurus, Tylosaurus, Plesiosaurs, Pliosaurs, Ichthyosaurs, and many more! Ichthyosaurs were basically like the dolphins of the prehistoric oceans! They had almost fish-shaped bodies and long, usually toothed beaks. I’d definitely recomend looking up a picture of these guys! They breathed air like all reptiles and did not have gills. All prehistoric marine reptiles breathed air, similar to today’s sea turtles or sea snakes. Mosasaurus was a large predatory marine reptile, with lots of teeth and a long, slender body with a powerful paddle-like tail and four flippers instead of legs and feet. Tylosaurs are similar (I think... if I remember correctly...), though if I remember correctly, not all of them had long tails, and some had large powerful flippers instead of a long tail. Plesiosaurs had a very long neck, a small head with interlocking teeth (essentially creating a fish cage), and a large, slender body with a very short tail an four large, powerful flippers. Some of these animals preyed upon other marine reptiles and larger marine creatures, while others only ate fish and other small marine creatures. They’re all so unique and look nothing like anything we have today! And there’s so many more that I haven’t even talked about that I would seriously encourage checking out!

I’ve loved dinosaurs for as long as I can remember. I even still have my first dinosaur book! It’s a neat picture book full of pictures of dinosaur sculptures and dinosaur names! I have a sauropod plushie that I’ve had forever! He’s a little beat up and has a few places where he’s been sewn back up, but I still have him! And I have a model Kronosaurus that I can show you if you’d like! I love dinosaurs so damn much, and I really want to know more about them! I want to know what colors they were and what their skin feels like! I want to see one someday, but until then, fossils are just as good! I FUCKING LOVE DINOSAURS AND THEY’RE SO COOL AND I WANT TO PET ONE SO BAD!

Anyway, that’s my long, rambling post about dinosaurs! I’m glad I got that out! Hope I didn’t confuse you or bore you. I just really love dinosaurs and get super excited and disorganized when I talk about them! I love them so much and they’re really amazing once you start learning about them!

[bumblingbrujo]

Los Tres Hermanos || Lilo + Miguel + Iann || Chatzy Log

Iann and Miguel have a surprise for Lilo. 

@ianncardero @lilo-el-lobo

Iann "So? Did you call him?" Iann asked, as he barged into Miguel's place. Well he knocked first, but then just tried the front door and it opened for him, as Miguel was expecting him. And if they were going to be brothers or whatever, Iann figured barging in without waiting was par the course. As was, Iann belatedly realized, leaving the front door unlocked. Iann came over to the side window, peering through as if he could catch a glimpse of Lilo living his life. Iann had no issues with being a peeping tom. "Is he coming over? You realize this is going to be fucking nuts, right? If he reacts worse than I did, don't be surprised. Or upset."

Miguel made a small surprised gurgle noise and jumped a little as Iann opened the front door wide. "Yes, yes I called him. He seemed a little confused but he said he'd come over. I said it was neighbor stuff... that's not a lie right?" Miguel had nervously cleaned the whole house. The idea of telling someone you were long lost siblings going badly didn't occur to him until Iann had done it - but now it was all he could think about and he was worried. "Why would he take it worse?" Miguel asked sadly. "Of course I'll be upset if it goes badly. I like Lilo. I was devastated when I thought you didn't want to be my brother." He pouted a little, playing up the little brother thing just a bit. Though... he was the middle child. Technically. Of the three of them. Of the three brothers. Wow three brothers. It was so new and exciting and Miguel didn't know why everyone was taking it so badly.

Iann "No not a lie," Iann said with a slight smile at the smaller man. He did appreciate that at least, that Miguel wanted to let Lopez know as soon as possible. No lies from him, and he never felt upset about Miguel taking a while to come tell him either. Particularly as Iann didn't take it very well at all. He shrugged at Miguel's question. "Everyone's got their reasons, Miguel. Especially when it concerns family issues. You don't know what his life was like." None of them really knew what their lives were like, and yet here they were, thrown together by genetics and one horny fucker. He did note the pout though, and clapped Miguel's shoulder. "Place looks clean, smells like Pine Sol."

"I just want everything to be... okay, it doesn't have to be perfect, just not bad." At the clean comment Miguel scoffed. "What am I? A gringo? It smells like Fabuloso, not Pine Sol," he said 'Pine Sol' in the most white nasal American accent he could do. "I know where to get it in Washington even." Might as well start deflecting his feelings with humor. He stopped joking when he heard Lilo walking up the front steps. "Okay okay, be nice," he said pointedly at Iann.

"Fabulosooo," Iann sighed, chucking a fist into his open palm. "I knew it smelled familiar." Of course Miguel managed to find it here - but then when they heard the door, Iann held his hands up in deference. "I'll be super nice. So nice, I'll let you do all the talking, hm? I'll just stand behind you and glower."

Lilo walked up to the front door of his neighbor. Not suspecting anything life changing he has some makeshift Tupperware in hand. Had he suspected more for tonight he may have noticed the shifting body of Iann trying to get a look at him before, or Miguel's strange caginess. Lilo tried the door, unlocked of course, opening it more gently as he called out. "Oye! Amigo, we made some soup and had extra? You want soup? It's got kale and meat in it and stuff... soup stuff..." Lilo sniffed the air and blinked in confusion before even laying eyes on the other men there to greet him. "Sooo... neighbor stuff?"

Miguel glared quickly at Iann. "No. Glowering." Before he walked toward the door to greet Lilo. "Hey, amigo. Soup sounds great thank you." Cassie and Lilo had been spoiling him with leftovers, especially when they knew he was on call for the ER, which made his life so much easier. He loved his neighbors and he really didn't want to upset Lilo. "Yes well... a little more than neighbor stuff... magical neighbor stuff." He glanced again at Iann, he could expect no help from the gruff older man. "You might want to sit down for this. I mean it's not bad, but it's a lot to take in and... I don't want to upset you."

If only because Iann knew something that Lopez didn't, instead of glowering the human couldn't help smirking, just a bit smugly. He folded his arms, and sat on the armrest of the couch, and stared at the werewolf. "Hey pal," Iann said, not intending his greeting to sound like a taunt but...he really couldn't help himself.

Lilo frowned. Iann was looking smug, and if there was one thing he hated it was a smug Iann. The man was already too clever then he had a right to be and Lilo hated that it looked like the human knew something he didn't. "Okay..." To preserve the peace Lilo handed off the tub of still warm soup. He sat down on the couch, gently as if there might be something hiding in it that would bite at him. "Uhuh, hey," He eyed Iann, the pulling his face to one side. "So what kind of magical neighbor nonsense did you get the nice town doctor into anyway? And why's it involve all of us here?"

Miguel couldn't bring himself to sit on the couch with them.... with his brothers. Instead he stood in front of Lilo and wrung his hands. "Well, Iann didn't get me into it so much as, I got him into it. Or we're all in it and I just... figured it out uhm." He needed to stop stalling and just spit it out. So he closed his eyes tight and let it fly out of his mouth. "We're half brothers!  All of us. The three of us. We have the same dad. I found out with magic."

Iann was grinning so tightly his jaw was flexing and twitching, teeth clenched as he watched Lilo react to this. To add an extra measure, Iann unfolded his arms and spread his hands out. "This isn't a joke, no prank. Unless Miguel's lying or something - I haven't found a way to verify this claim, and he's the doctor and the witch, so. Hermano."

Lilo went to open his mouth, eyes darting from the grinning Iann to the hand wringing Miguel, then closed it and thought better of it. He sat for a while, letting the sudden shattering revelation settle in. He stared forward and shook his head. "I... I mean. No. That's" He shook his head, laughter spilling out in breathy awkward bursts. They said it wasn't a joke, but Lilo just couldn't manage to take it seriously. "Seriously? Guys? You call me over here, to what feels like a very weird and sad intervention at first with just two guys here. And tell me this?" He laughed again, head shaking as he moved to stand. "Okay, sure sure. Hermano, that I don't believe."

Lilo didn't believe them... and Miguel didn't know if that was better or worse than taking it badly. Maybe denial was a form of taking it badly. "No, Lilo. En serio." He sighed. "I started to suspect some things when a magical tome that's attuned to my family accepted Iann as one of its owners. I asked a blood witch to do a spell to let me find blood relatives and it said you two, and Addie of course, but less for her. And even then I wasn't sure, I thought the other witch might have messed up the strength and it was just showing me the closest Chicanos but... then I did a paternity test spell from my abuela." He put down the glass that Lilo had used the night he was drunk and talking about his feelings in Miguel's house. "I used my blood and your spit," he explained. "We're brothers. All of us."

Lilo shook his head, standing but shifting back and forth from his prosthetic. "Okay, hermano. I believe you." He looked at Miguel, taking his words more seriously. The doctor seemed adamant and animated as he spoke, and it was hard arguing against that kind of energy. "You, I can understand. Miguel. I can wrap my head around you and me, long lost finding each other here sure. But Iann?" His laughter pitched higher. "This guy?" His thumb gestured back to the couch. "I know this guy, known him for years. There's no way. I mean we can't be. I would have... I feel like I would have picked up on something. I mean look at him! He's gigantic! So tall" His hands gestured up and down wildly, as if measuring his fellow chicano in the air. "How is he related to us shorties, huh? Is his mother huge?"

Iann "You haven't known me for years, stop being dramatic," Iann said, standing up and scoffing at Lilo. "....okay you do kind of know me for a couple years, I guess, but not well, Not since - well - that time - you know what I mean," Iann waved a hand in the air, simultaneously calling up the past and dismissing it in one fell motion. Iann was so far highly amused at all of Lilo's confusion, and ironically he also agreed that yes - Miguel made sense for Iann too. But Lilo Lopez?? Then Lilo had to go talk smack about Mala and Iann's face got an immediate mottled red. "My mother was perfect!!" he hollered. "I can't help it if I got all the good genes."

Lilo threw up his hands, shoulders following suit. "I'm not saying anything bad about your Mama. I was just wondering if she was also six foot maybe."

Iann pointed a finger. "You just watch it Lopez or you'll get six feet up your ass."

Miguel had thought that Lilo and Iann got along. But apparently that wasn't super correct. He glanced between the two of them and had a selfish thought about how it would probably be okay if they both liked him but didn't get along with each other. He sighed and shook his head. "Already fighting like siblings I see," he tried to force the mood to be light, even though they looked ready to pitch two fits. "I would have been tall if I was cis," he mumbled softly, more to himself than to Lilo, but the wolf would hear him. "Okay okay okay," Miguel said as he put his hands up too, but he put his hands up between the other two. "Stop."

Lilo jutted up his chin just a bit, an ingrained reaction to Iann's tone. "You just try it culero. Try it. I would like to see." He was prepared to stare Iann down, but Miguel was being much more practical and calm. It shamed Lilo into backing down slightly, head nodding in agreement to stop. Picking up partly on Miguel's admission. He looked more thoughtful, a look that belied his concern but not that it was more directly related to being the shortest cis-man in the group of brothers than anything else. Concerns could be petty.

"Okay we're all brothers and I think it's great and I like you both a lot. I'd like it if you'd get along with each other but I'd settle for you not fighting until you get out of my house,” Miguel warned them. 

Iann was all smiles and terse cheer when Miguel intervened, and he shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Who's fighting? We're just having a nice talk," Iann stated, giving Lilo a wink over Miguel's head. "So what do we do now? Have a beer and...make it official?"

Lilo settled down, wanting to sit. It was actually starting to sink in that he had more brothers, of course he did, but- "Oooh wow. This is real? This is really real, huh?" He breathed out, eyes widened, head shaking. He took a long look at Miguel. No longer using his easy irritation at Iann distract him. "We're related? We are like that joke, about chicanos not being all related but now are all related and oooh wow. This is exciting? It feels exciting? But also maybe making me a little dizzy-sick. Sick and dizzy" His eyes darted to Iann, stomach threatening to flip.

Miguel chuckled a little. Lilo was so sweet, and relief was washing through him, making him a little giddy. "You sit, Lilo. I'll get you a water. Iann and I can have the beer." He bumped Iann's shoulder on the way to the kitchen.

Iann "That's a joke?" Iann piped up, looking to Miguel for confirmation. If it was, it certainly wasn't one Iann had heard, oddly enough...but not really that oddly. Iann lived a large part of his life white-passing and code-switching depending on the company. "Why don't you take a seat, guey. Before you upchuck kale meat soup all over Miguel's nice clean floor."

Lilo first reaction was to glare at Iann's suggestiong, and stay standing just to spite him. Some part of this announcement felt like it flung him back into childhood, when he was a lonely moody teen just finding his standing and dealing with his mom having more kids with a step-dad he hated. Lilo hated this feeling, but not upchucking kale soup was good advice. He sat. "Ay, thanks Miguel. A big water if you got it..."

Miguel just laughed some more, grinning even, two brothers and they were all joking and grumbly but they were there, with Miguel. "I mean, you know how we joked about the gringos mistaking us for each other just because we're chicano? Kind of like that I'm assuming." Miguel shrugged. "Just cleaned," he said with a nod. "With fabuloso," he added with a smirk. He got the water for Lilo (a big water) first and handed it to him.

Iann returned to the couch armrest, watching as Miguel returned. The grin on the witch's face, Iann had no idea what to do with it. Granted, at least Lilo handled the news better than Iann did...so far anyway. Iann guessed that Lopez would have his meltdown later, once it all sunk in. For now the werewolf would just keep face. "Ah, I gotcha. Gringos," Iann said, taking the beer. He didn't drink immediately, and just fiddled with the label, thinking about Miguel so tastefully saying 'the other witch' when he explained the spell. Ciara, of course - Miguel told Iann, but maybe Lilo had never met Ciara. Why would he. But Iann's thoughts were digressing. "So...what now?" he asked, looking up between the two of them, suddenly serious and grim.

Miguel opened his own beer. He glanced at Iann and took a deep breath. "I have no idea."

Lilo shrugged, water in hand and threatening to spill on the freshly fabulos-ed floor. "I mean what now? What are we supposed to do? Go on a brother vacation? A brother journey to discover lost treasure? What should we do..." He paused to take a couple gulps of water. Wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "I mean... anybody actually know our dad. What he's like besides the fact that he gets around a lot..."

Iann "Who cares," Iann dismissed the dad question brusquely, then got up to look out one of Miguel's windows at the birds in the back yard. He took a swig of beer. "I guess we just go back to normal life. You tell Pegs, I tell...Bellamy, well. I've already told Bellamy. And Miguel - you tell that kid of yours at the University? Then that's that. What more is there for us to do, I don't - I don't think we need to find out more. " Iann glanced over at them both, then back out the window. "At least, I don't want to, personally."

Miguel pursed his lips. He already knew how Iann felt about it, but it sounded like Lilo was a little more on his page, a little more curious. It was odd, and Miguel wanted to know why it had played out the way it had. He was also a little surprised by how close Iann thought he was to Hawthorn, they may have been in the same coven but the only reason they were getting along was because the kid had a concussion and needed coven help, at least that was what Miguel had assumed. The idea was enough to send him into a spiral. He didn't have a fiancee or a best friend even, he had a coven member. There wasn't a way to tell Lilo that they could talk about it after Iann left, at least not a polite way. "We don't need to, but..."

"But it might be nice to know." Lilo finished for Miguel. Stopping to take another drink of water. "You can't tell me you are not at least a little bit curious. C'mon Iann! You're the human out of us. Aren't you worried about heart disease or baldness. Horrible things like that." He shrugged, unaware of Miguel's spiraling or the source of Iann's tetchiness about their shared father. "It's a fucking mystery. Three guys, all different, all in the same town. How does all of these coincidences not worry you?"

"Nope," Iann said firmly, but with that forced chipperness. He didn't want the beer anymore, but he dutifully chugged it so it wouldn't go to waste, and then went to Miguel's kitchen, seeking and finding the recycle bin. He returned, dry washing his hands. "Well, I'm going now. Surprise over. You two can sort whatever else you want, hm? I'll see you both around, I gotta, ah, I have things --" Iann looked at his watch (thank god he remembered to put it on this morning or he'd look pretty dumb looking at his wrist). "-- things I have to do, goodbye." Iann nodded at Miguel and headed out.

[dreadlock-detective]

Diary Entry List

Whoooooo boy I haven’t updated this since this original post, so to keep things simple I’m just going to plop 4 entries (2-5) into this post after the cut. Middle of the night post, but eh, figure there’s not a large audience for my D&D writing anyway~ Sooo yeah! Cut!

Entry #1 is here 

Entry #2: Soap and Snakes

Geeze, so much has happened I'm already forgetting stuff! Okay, so back to the banquette real quick, because a few more things happened that I totally forgot about somehow! First, there was a representative from Delzimmer there, but they wouldn't help me get a payment sent over to you. They refused to deal with the Barons at all. Not that I can blame them, but it's just like some cushy family in Delzimmer to be as helpful as a bucket of vom. The Soverin... Soveren... Sovereign’s daughter did some kind of magic prophecy reading thing and long story short: something about three shadows of different colors all about horrible things happening... Essmer knows more about it than me. Didn't sound pleasant though. She passed out afterwards too. Sounds bad but I've got enough to worry about at the moment than some spooky divination or whatever. I guess that's the reason I've got this job though so I guess I'm glad she's seeing whatever it is!

It wasn't all doom and gloom though! After the Sovereign and most everyone left the hall Essman and Niles started playing music and Sir Veil asked me to dance! I mean, I have NO idea how to dance in a ballroom, fancy dress, and shoes, but I guess Veil doesn't either so it wasn't TOO embarrassing! Essmer got in with the dancing too after a bit with some dwarf lady who's dad didn't seem too keen on her being around such an old drunk human. It was quite an evening!

The next day we get prepped to head out north into the wilderness towards some old church. The Sovereign's son was our contact to help us. He's... much more what I'd expect from “nobility”. Stuck up, unpleasant, untrusting, and rude. We were able to get some nice horses, a cart, and some basic supplies but he wouldn't so much as help us get medical supplies, saying I am supposed to be able to take care of everyone! I'd be flattered if he actually thought that highly of me, but I'm sure he was just using me as an excuse to be a cheapass. Only towards us lowly commoners of course – didn't see him complaining about the absurd amount of food at the banquet! He's not the only problem though. I swear that Niles is going to be a pain. He had to run out and buy bars upon bars of soap before he'd gallop off into the wilderness! We're not traveling for relaxation! Gods forbid he feel a bit sweaty or dirty! He didn't get any better when he lost his horse- OH! Yeah, okay so how Niles lost his horse!

We were trying to pass a big o' river in our way and Lucan found a nice shallower safe place to cross so we got all ready to go. Lucan led the way across to a sand bar with me, Veil, and Essmer in the cart behind him, with Niles picking up the rear, likely because he was too busy preening himself to keep up. Anyway, the cart just got to the sand bar when I turned around just... saw Niles's hat as he plopped into the river as a MASSIVE snake back arched over him! (I swear Sir Veil heard him and just kept the cart moving until I yelled out about it). So yeah, this HUGE snake, with a mouth the size of Veil's body had a hold of Niles's horse! I hit it with some magic and it was, just, wow, largest living thing I'd ever seen! It nearly killed Sir Veil too! Tried to gobble him up and drag him away! But Sir Veil managed to kill it and claw his way out! I was actually worried for a moment but Sir Veil really can hold his own against monsters. Niles might be worthless and Essmer a drunk but with Lucan leading the way and Sir Veil to fight off anything that comes our way I think we really do have a chance out here!

He and Lucan managed to pull it's giant mass over to the far bank of the river and Lucan and I helped Lucan cut it up and dried out as much of it as we could! It's at least a week or more's worth for all five of us! Maybe if this doesn't pan out we can turn to hunting river snakes or something. Niles's horse didn't make it though, and he was super moody the whole rest of the way to the church. Guess that soap can't wash away his screw ups~! We're at the old church now – some old orc lady seems to be in charge here. Guess we'll be helping out around here for the moment. More on that after it happens I suppose!

Love ya!

Entry #3: Sheep Eaters

It'll be hard to sleep after tonight so I guess I may as well stay up and write a bit. Um. I guess I'll start with the reason for that and then end on a happier note. Maybe that'll help. But anyway, short version is we left the church outpost to look for a roaming shepherd who had complained about his animals being killed in the night – stripped down to the bone without a sound. Well, we found him and stayed up all night to watch his sheep and GUESS WHAT, WE FOUND THE PROBLEM. Giant. Bugs. Centipede or Millipede or something. Horrible things! Borrowing up from the ground! They came up everywhere! Their bite had some sort of paralyzing venom in it! You couldn't feel a thing! That's why the sheep never made a noise as they got eaten alive! Same thing nearly happened to Niles and Lucan too! And me! Thankfully Sir Veil was behind me and saw the one that had crawled up my back! Lucan got bit pretty bad but Sir Veil and I were around to help him. Niles though, he nearly didn't live through it! Thankfully I had just enough energy left to blast the last one off him before it could finish him off. Didn't have anything left to actually heal him up afterwards, but better than dead. Essmer got bit up too but not enough to take him down, thankfully.

That was terrifying. I don't really feel like sleeping anymore.

But on to the less horrible bits... not exactly pleasant ones but are less likely to give me nightmares. I went out scouting alone with Lucan for a day. First time I had been separated from Sir Veil in a while. Was kind of nice to remember I can still survive just fine without him watching out for me all the time. I screwed up bad though! I got excited since Lucan is also elf blooded so I asked him about his parents and... well... they're dead. The whole rest of the day was awkward after that. I'm such an idiot! And we didn't find what we were looking for, but we did find the tracks for that shepherd we followed later. The only other major thing I can think of to talk about is the big cat the store owner at the church had! Not sure what it was really but it was huge! Seemed to be fond of Sir Veil. He really is just a large weird kitty man! Growled like a demon when the rest of us went near it though! Niles tried to use some kind of magic on it and the shopkeep nearly slit his throat for it! She and Sir Veil insisted I try to pet the cat too... thought it was going to rip my face clean off... apparently it's just some game the shopkeeper lady taught it to do! I thought I was going to die! That's not a funny joke to play on someone!

Okay no thinking about that did not make sleeping any more appealing, really... I think the rest of them are looking to take on a group of bandits that have been harassing the church lately next. Not sure how many of them there are and I'm worried we're going to get in over our heads but I guess I'd rather fight some thugs than those bugs again. And now I'm thinking about the bugs again. Great. This hasn't helped at all. I'm done for tonight...

Entry #4: -

I'm not sure I want to write down how I feel about the last few days... But I want to keep this up to date so I'll at least talk about part of it. The shortest version is, I was very, very wrong before. Those bugs were not worse than fighting bandits. I mean, they honestly were probably a bigger threat but... watching bugs get smashed isn't nearly the same as it happening to people...

We found the trail of the bandits easily enough thanks to Lucan but he noticed the fresher set of tracks was headed back down south towards the church. Naturally we couldn't let the church go undefended so we took off after them and caught up to them earlier than we expected. They ambushed us in the tall grass with a few dogs and five or so men but they didn't put up too much of a fight. I focused on keeping people alive while the rest made pretty short work of them until their boss (some fatter man) came into view with a larger crossbow and fired a bolt straight into my shoulder. That, of course, got Veil rather upset but before he could do anything I went to fire a blast of radiant energy back at the man! It... behaved strangely. The glowing light slowed, dimmed, and burst into blackness! I tried to wander out of it but I couldn't find the end of it! I was beginning to think I had actually blinded myself when Essmer managed to dispell it with his glowing magical rock thing he made! By then the rest of the fight was over... I'm not terribly sure what happened but Essmer went off into the grass towards the rest of the noise and next I knew they were dragging the body of the bandit leader with them, now with most of his head caved in and a gaping wound in his chest.

We opted to head back north rather than return to the church for the night. Not a great idea, turns out, as rhinos of all things showed up and stomped out our camp fire and wrecked a bunch of our stuff. Especially Niles' tent. Thankfully they left without any major damage. The next day's travel we could see this gigantic tree off in the distance for the longest time. Before we slept, Veil and Lucan ran ahead to check out the tree, since that was an obvious place for a bandit camp. They didn't return until nearly the end of my shift on watch well into the night, exhausted and bleeding – the tree was a massive illusion that covered not just the tree but the area around it! Where the tree itself was stood a large watchtower and around it was a few cabins. Veil had broken the illusion when he got up to touch the tree and got shot with an arrow for his efforts. The two fled and ran in circles the rest of the night to throw any pursuers off their trail. When they got back they quickly passed out from exhaustion.

The next morning we went to attack as a group. Lucan snuck in first but was spotted and rushed out only for the rest of us to rush in. Niles, surprisingly, led the charge, ignoring the forward guards and their dogs and went straight for the tower! As for the rest of it, I'd honestly not like to write about. It was... barbaric. We all came out of it fine enough but... I don't know... it wasn't what I expected...

Entry #5: Sanguacon

It’s been some time since my last entry. The battle isn’t quite as distant a memory as I wish it was, but the fear has died down a bit at least. We found plenty of supplies in the camp so it was decided two of us should head back to the church to let them know and return with horses while the others stayed back to watch the camp for other bandits. Sir Vale suggested we be the two to go… I wasn’t really feeling up to it, after everything, but I didn’t have it in me to argue so, away we went. There and back was a full week of travel, so it was a lot of time together. It was pretty awkward at first but… one night, the “Sanguacon” found us. The thing the sheep herder thought was attacking his flock originally. It was supposed to be a legend.

Snuck right up on me while I was on watch and got a good bite on my shoulder before I even knew what was happening - spun around to see this massive… THING! It was taller than Sir Vale, super bulky, with stumpy little arms and legs. Like some freakish fat bunch of flesh just globbed together and became some horrible freak! It definitely drank my blood too, and I felt weak after it. Thankfully my scream woke up Sir Vale and he rushed over to fight it bare handed. It got a good bite on him but Sir Vale, for some reason, bit him back. Tasted like death, apparently. I lit up its back with my magic which it really, REALLY didn’t like but instead of fighting us further it plopped away before poofing into mist. Nothing left. No trial, no body, nothing. It was pretty crazy scary to be sure. Where it bit us the wounds don’t seem to be properly healing over even with magic. You can still see where it got us. But as scary as it was, seeing Vale fight it… it’s hard to imagine much being scarier than the thought of being on the other end of his rage… I think I’m starting to understand something though. We’ll see if it pans out later I guess.

Aside from that run in with a myth the trip was otherwise pretty dull. The people at the church were amazingly happy to hear the bandits were dead though! They had a super huge drinking party to celebrate. Pretty sure they all felt that in the morning…Trip back was a little more lively, since we had two ladies from the church with us and didn’t run into any trouble. Apparently the camp had been just as dull - after the week of traveling we did, Esmer, Niles, and Lucan looked bored out of their minds when we got there. As it turns out we couldn’t fit everything onto one wagon and though we had two the others had found other trails away from the bandit camp so we decided to try to follow those and leave one of the carts there.

And that’s where we’ve been for days. Just… out… on a path in the middle of all this grass. It goes on forever in every direction. We came to a fork in the path. Chose to go straight north as we had been instead of northwest. Got attacked by a flock of huge crazy birds because THIS PLACE IS JUST THE WORST and all the animals here want us dead. And just after that we came to another fork… this one continuing north and the other going southwest… so they’ve decided we should abandon our current path and see where the two side ones meet up.

I can’t help but think, if Vale had just listened - if he hadn’t murdered that last bandit - we might already know where we were going. We may have been able to prepare. We could have set out instead of heading back to the church. Could have saved nearly two weeks of wandering around in this sea of grass.

I’m starting to miss the muddy dumps of Delzimmer somehow… And I miss you too, Dad. Hopefully I can make it through this in one piece and work up enough gold to get you out again.

Until then!

[seigaku9th-blog]

japan week four ➜ VS rokkaku DVD release event

on july 29th, i took a day trip to osaka to attend the VS rokkaku DVD release event. yuuya, yuu, fuuma, seichan, kaname, shinnosuke, yuugo & chiba were present at this event!!

my friends told me the DVD events were pretty much always in the middle of nowhere, even the tokyo ones, but god, this was BAD. after taking the shinkansen to osaka, i had to take another express train that landed me in the middle of nowhere... and from then on, i had to walk in the nightmarish japanese summer heat & sunlight for 20 minutes. there were literally farm fields along the road!! that's how you know you're in the middle of nowhere in japan!!

well, at least the venue itself was rather nice. after freshening up, i took my seat in the 11th row. the event being free, i think a lot of people just decide to not come after the venue is announced, so while there were people up to the last row, a lot of seats were left empty here & there. i don't think it bothered the actors, especially since, yuugo & kaname excluded, this was the first time all of these actors attended an event where they would interact with fans as themselves. however, i did wish i could just pretend i had a ticket for the 2nd row and sit in one of the empty seats...

while waiting for the event to start, i noticed that most of the girls there were fans of kaname (keyholders & phone lockscreens XD) and almost everyone was wearing red. it was kinda funny but also very cute!! i understand. one of the girls in my row had an oishi/yuu bag tho, i loved that!! oishi fans are pretty rare to see, so i thought it was really sweet.

when the actors walked in, i felt like i was just looking at my buds, they're just. such normal guys XD i was, however, very emotional over fuuma's hairstyle. he looked so pretty... seigaku were wearing seigaku colors, but rokkaku were all in black... emo rokkaku...

the talk section was a lot of fun. rokkaku are so obviously more comfortable on stage and in front of fans, but fuuma and yuu were super talkative and funny as well!! i think even seichan talked more than yuuya... why is he so weirdly awkward hdkfhj

they made D1 perform an acapela rendition of acrobatics & genius, and seichan did acrobatics. it was so cute!! you could tell yuugo was rustling in his seat tho. pls let him show off his dancing/acrobatics for the 79484th time

yuuya told this story about how hikaru & him were stuck in an elevator and hikaru started panicking bcuz it wasn't moving... only for them to realize they just hadn't pushed any button. i relate

then yuu talked about a time he had nichika & shion over at his house and shion & him pranked nichika by hiding in a closet?? idek

i think all 8 of them mentioned sho at some point or another? what a popular guy~ and each time they brought him up yuuya had something to add... we get it, my dude...

then came the game part!! it was WONDERFUL. they literally played beach volleyball. on stage. with an actual ball. seigaku VS rokkaku!! i think i had at least 7 heart attacks bcuz they were going so hard and i was so sure one of them would run off the stage...

then they'd come into the audience to ~collect seashells~. basically, each of us were given a paper with a seashell type written on it, had to fold it to hide the text, and the guys walked thru the audience to collect the ones they wanted, and would then unfold them on stage and see how many points they got.

volleyball & seashell collecting games finished, seigaku were the winners!! i was so happy~

rokkaku's punishment game consisted of having to shower each seigaku with compliments. when it got to yuu's turn, they were all silent like "..." so cruel!!

and then, it was time for us to go up on stage for the handshakes. i had prepared short one-liners to tell each of them beforehand, but... XD

first up was yuuya, which was truly my worse case scenario. i knew i'd be too shook afterwards to react appropriately & remember everything i wanted to say to the others...

when i walked up to yuuya, he made the goofiest surprised/happy face towards me where his eyes got SO GIGANTIC like this: OwO. i'm not sure whether he remembered me from our interactions at tenimyu shows or if he was just surprised to see a foreigner in the middle of nowhere, but i was happy. i don't remember what i told him aside from I LOVE TEZUKA but. yes.

staff rushed me to move and next up was yuu, who is sooo tall and SO beautiful!! he is so cute and so handsome!! his smile and eyes are so soft... i was a bit surprised & stressed out by the staff rushing me so i just told him ganbatte~~ i wanted to tell him that he's cute...

seichan was next!! he's also really tall and his smile is so genuine and cute. which is what i told him. XD i know mario is a lil zonked out and heard reo was super awkward to meet as well, so i'm glad our new eiji is more comfortable & genuinely happy around fans.

fuuma... ah. definitely who surprised me the most & made me happiest to meet. considering he's a little cold and detached as a performer, i was anxious to meet him. but amazingly enough, he was SOOO sweet!! he's so smiley and was really cute and kind towards me. he is also incredibly beautiful. he looks very soft... and is sooo so so SO TINYYY!! i was so surprised that i once again forgot what i wanted to tell him. XD

they had the terrible idea of putting kaname right after fuuma, so i died from beauty yet again. i'm sad i was too shocked to form sentences bcuz i really wanted to tell him how much i love his singing... :'(

i honest to god don't remember what i did or said to shinnosuke bcuz i feel like my eyes were still locked on fuuma and kaname i am so sorry you're cute too i promise!!!!!

i'm a little sad that the staff had stressed me out so much and that i was still too surprised by how cute & pretty everyone was to properly talk to yuugo and chiba bcuz i definitely would've had the time to do so... i just high touched them and told them ganbatte and ran off the stage... but they were really handsome... chiba especially... the more i look at pictures of him now, the more i regret...

i was just really happy that all eight of them were so friendly and smiley!! i've heard so many stories about actors being awkward or weird to my friends, so it was a relief ;_;

this event was a lot of fun, and i'm hoping my next trip will coincide with the VS rikkai DVD release events, because i would love to attend another one!! ...hopefully with hikaru and/or sho being part of the lineup~