#I’m not ashamed but it’s not something I disclose to just anyone

[iwatcheditbegin]

It’s so frustrating the way my mom legit just tells anyone highly personal and sensitive stuff about me. My personal struggles and mental health are absolutely not her story to tell.

It’s also not fair that I’m now uncomfortable around these people bc folks make the most inappropriate comments about Eds and straight up will ask me really invasive and triggering questions

[gay-dorito-dust]

please can i request headcandons of the spiderverse people finding out their best friend reader is the protege of Miguel O’Hara

A/n: Miles’ head cannon is gonna be a bit angsty as it’ll probably take place during the events of the movie. So sorry if you wanted something fluffy.

Also I’m sorry for the severe lack of characters, I kinda ran out of ideas on how others would react. 🦦

Miles finding out that you, his best friend whom he probably said a-lot of embarrassing shit to out of the sheer comfortability level he had with you, were the protege of Miguel O’hara was definitely a wild ride.

Especially so considering all the shit he’s endured during his visitation of the Spider Society.

Naturally he’s going to feel hurt that you didn’t disclose this information to him because he thought you were genuinely good friends. But would be willing to hear you out on what you have to say because he genuinely wants to know why.

So when you tell him that the reason you were so quiet about being Miguel’s protege was the same reason why you didn’t disclose to Miguel that he was your best friend. You told Miles that your mentor would think you a vulnerability much like he did in regards of the relationship between Gwen and himself.

It’s not that you were ashamed of Miles, no, never. He’s your best friend and you loved him greatly and told him that pretty much every day whilst going out of your way to answer all his questions about the spider society when Gwen failed to do also, including stuff regarding his place in all of it.

Your friendship with Miles meant a lot more to you then being apart of some stupid society that was extremely selective on who they recruit.

But you understood and respected Miles’ need for space away from you to think on things before you then promptly left to head back to the spider society before Miguel grew suspicious of your whereabouts and who you were with.

Just give him some time. He’s been through enough and never got the chance to properly sit through his emotions.

Hobie would probably look you dead in the eye as he’s holding you by the shoulders and in all seriousness says, ‘blink twice if your being held hostage by that tyrannical dictator prick.’

Hobie would’ve notice the similarities in you and Miguel fight almost instantaneously since he’s a very observant dude and if he was anyone else, he would’ve just shrugged it off as you imitating Miguel for shits and giggles.

But Hobie would definitely have an inkling that something was going off between you and Miguel long before you told him about being his protege. He thanked fuck it wasn’t anything romantic in the slightest.

Though he would defiantly have a few questions on why it was that you’d let yourself be taken under his wing. Were you dismantling the system from the inside out but we’re playing the long game like he was? Or were you made into being his protege without having a say in anything?

If it was the first one then he’d clap you on the back with pride but if it was the second one then he’d more then happily suggest in teaching him a lesson in trying to take advantage of his mate.

But if it was neither option and that you just really wanted to learn from him and grow to become a better, stronger, faster Spider-Person then Hobie would back off. Hobie trusts you enough to make your own decisions and to take care of yourself.

But that don’t mean he ain’t in your corner when the time comes because he is and always will be looking out for you no matter what and he’ll gladly intervene when he thinks Miguel is being too hard on you, or he just straights up takes you back to his dimension when he thinks you need a break from it all and spend time with him and causing chaos together.

Gwen would’ve probably found out that you were Miguel’s protege when it seemed that whenever the big boss man had to go on a mission, he’d always have you pair up with him despite being quite capable at taking on anomalies on his own.

She’s observant in her own right but not to the same extent that Hobie is but that’s neither here nor there.

She thinks it’s pretty cool that her best friend was the protege of the big boss man himself, but knew that there was a lot of pressure and stress ridding on your shoulders when it comes go being the protege of man who created the Spider Society.

But I’d like to think that you’d both show off what Miguel/Jessica taught you to one another as you goof off in some other dimension together during a mission.

So now and then she makes sure that you’re okay after hard missions, whether they be solo or duo with your mentor, and making sure your eating, keeping yourself hydrated, but most importantly Gwen’s making sure you’re taking breaks in between tasks so you don’t become fatigued and burnt out later down the line.

Whilst originally thinking that you being Miguel’s protege was cool and all but she does worry about you, especially when he gets himself into a violent outburst and starts throwing shit with out rhyme or reason.

Gwen can’t help that she’s overprotective of you and wants to keep you safe even if your in a place that’s meant to be a safe space for all spider people. She’s already lost Peter and she wasn’t about to loose you too because your mentor didn’t think you were up to snuff. She didn’t want to be at the Spider Society if you weren’t and didn’t care if that made her more of a liability in her peer’s eyes.

[andro-dino]

your kurayami family lore makes me insane and fucked in the head axel like. ryoma being ostracized from the remnants of an already fading clan in order to pursue the life he wanted to live with the person he loved only to not get to see his child grow up. like he got what he yearned for at both the price of his prior family and then his life. and then there's victoria who's been raising sakyo by herself, incapable of providing him the knowledge of the other half of his ancestry (i highly doubt ryoma ever disclosed much info to her after he cut ties with them). did she ever feel guilt for that? did ryoma, as much as he disliked the dragon clan, also feel that guilt?

and that's not even mentioning in the anime both of sakyo's parents die. like damn it really recontextualizes a lot of his behavior in canon. he took up the mantle of ryuga's successor for the new age both out of a nebulous obligation to the clan he descended from (yet knows nothing about) out of a sense of duty, and desire to learn more about his forgotten people, but also as a personal act of remembrance for his parents. everything he did was for the sake of the family he never knew and for the family he once had. like ohhhh i get it his grief and loneliness has played and will play a key part in every action he does throughout his life—throughout his passion for the people he eventually loves. okay. okay.

CHRIS. CHRIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSS💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 YOU GET IT YOU REALLY DO. like how do you know my own ocs better than I do wth /j

but no you worded it perfectly like. arggggg. ARGHHHHHHHHH

Ryoma’s development really is just so tragic and aughhh my god. You definitely got it that even after settling down and allowing himself to be a more open person, his one fatal flaw is ultimately how little he gives about his past and his family. Trying to protect Sakyo from the legacy of the dragon clan was a paradoxical effort because it’s ultimately him hiding so much of that and trying his best to cover up any remnants that makes Sakyo so much more curious about it, and when he loses both of his parents, he clings onto whatever he can find about the dragon clan as his last attachment to his family. Ryuga being the most immediate dragon clan member he can learn about and idolizing him and becoming his successor is detrimental to him but he doesn’t know that because to him, it’s his way of keeping his connection to his family and continuing their legacy in the only way he knows how. Within the continuity, Ryoma dies when Sakyo’s barely 4 years old, so he doesn’t even fully understand what it is that his father was so afraid about and why he was trying so hard to hide it. I don’t know how to fully articulate it but Sakyo’s belt originally being Ryomas is something that really tugs at me. After settling down, despite being so ashamed of things that connected him to his past, Ryoma still kept certain items like his jewelry and belt from the dragon clan, if still extremely hidden and buried away. In a way, he still can’t really shake his connection to the clan fully, but he feels that it’s ultimately for the best to try to completely move on from them. Sakyo ends up taking the belt as a physical anchor to his past as well, and while Ryoma hid it away in shame, eventually, as he grows to develop more and be able to carry his family legacy with him in a healthier way, Sakyo is able to wear it still with pride. (Also, fun fact, recently I realized that the oroboros arm ring thing that I gave Ryoma is like. exactly the same as the one ryuto wears in his shot at the end of shogun steel. so sorry to ryuto bc I’ve been severely neglecting him bc I’m not as invested in his character but I’ve got a couple thoughts for that that I’ll probably put in the lore doc)

And as for Victoria, man. Like, she’s so central to Ryoma’s development and both of them have helped each other grow so much in different ways, and Ryoma is more comfortable with her than anyone else, and despite everything, he still doesn’t fully open up about the full extent of the dragon clan to her which leaves her in the dark about so much. It really does eat away at her bc she wants to help her husband but this is the one thing he refuses to let up on so there’s really not much she can do. It’s when he passes that her guilt on the subject worsens bc now, knowing that her son is growing up without knowing half of his heritage, she feels so bad not being able to do anything to help. She makes sure to connect him to his ethnic background as much as she can but even then she knows it’s not enough and she’s not around long enough to be able to help him really seek out that information in a beneficial way.

Anime Sakyo is so harrowing with this, and there is a little glimpse of that with manga Sakyo when his dragon blood awakens, but I think ultimately manga Sakyo being more endearingly clueless about the dragon clan is allowed to happen with Victoria’s guidance. She encourages him to go off on his own and learn more, but she keeps him grounded enough that he never gets to the intensity that he does in the anime. I think she also is very supportive of Takanosuke specifically traveling with him as he knows more about the dragon clan and their history than either her or Sakyo do, and she knows that he would be able to help Sakyo learn more than she would ever be able to, so their companionship is also something that plays into that

[writteninkat]

Heyy🦦 May I please have headcanons of Iida, Deku, and Kirishima(you can add characters if you want) having a "history" with flesh lights👀?? their thick dicks always end up breaking the poor pocket pussy😔 how do they feel? ashamed? confused? happy? would their friends tease them about it? if they have a S/O how would they tell them?

you can do whatever you want with this actually, just have fun with it☺

only if you're comfortable and if requests are open😊

remember to drink water and eat daily🥰

a/n: fuck i love this idea so much 😮‍💨😮‍💨 and yes requests are open !! ;*

note: all characters written about are aged up !! [18+]

w/ Iida, Deku, Kirishima, Bakugou, Denki

navigation

TENYA IIDA

definitely isn't the type who'd go telling his friends that he "broke another flesh light today🙄" cause he doesn't wanna disclose that information to just anyone other than his s/o

BUT when you find the multiple broken flesh lights in a box under his bed (yes he doesn't bother throwing them away just bc), this man will not show any embarrassment

"hey, Tenya baby. Why do you have so many of these?"

"If you don't know, Y/n, those are flesh lights designed to-"

"Yeah yeah I know what they are. My question is why do you have so many of them?"

"I tend to break them after two or three uses."

he said that to you with a stoic expression. Like- no teasing, he isn't smug about it, it's like he's talking about the weather or sumn

okay big boi i see u 👀

IZUKU MIDORIYA

this baby is definitely embarrassed when you found his stash lmao

he'd be all blushy and stuttering all over HES JUST AN ADORABLY EMBARRASSED BB WHO NEEDS U TO HOP OFF HIS DICK NOW >:(

but when you tease him about it saying how rough he is to be able to break multiple flesh lights, he'd definitely go from "sir i'll bring her home by 10" to "ya daughter calls me daddy too" in a snap

all the embarrassment would just wash away from his face and he's quick bet your kitty probably feel better than the toys. and it does.

EIJIROU KIRISHIMA

this man is like a little flushed about it but he's bot really??? like there's a faint blush on his cheeks but he doesn't try to hide the fact that he's broken multiple of those toys

"Eij? Why do you have so many broken flesh lights?"

"Ah, yeah I sometimes forget they're just toys and most of the time get too rough"

Like he says all that with his cheeks dusted with light pink and he's scratching the back of his head bashfully. WHAT A BABY.

YOU are the one who'd push him onto the bed and start sumn by saying "Don't you wanna try breaking me, Red Riot?"

ohohooo this man does not hold back and will show you just how rough he gets, if not even more, to the point that he breaks those toys of his

KATSUKI BAKUGOU

yell at you for "going through his shit" but will be all smug at the sight of your face when you see just how many flesh lights he had broken

"Suki, why do you have so many-"

"Hah? So what if I have so many? What's it to you?"

"I just mean that- Suki they're all broken."

He leans over to you, trapping you between his body and his bed. "And what about it? You of all people should know I'm not good at holding back."

He'll throw the flesh light back in the box, manhandling you up on the bed and with a sinister grin, he mutters at you, "You wanna know what I do to those flesh lights to get them to break?"

DENKI KAMINARI

this man would be so smug about it, one eyebrow raised, an annoying smile stretched across his face and his shoulders shrugged

"what can I say? Toys just aren't that durable for me, unlike you, babe."

yeah he's defo the type to moan about to his friends like "you guuuuyyysss I broke another flesh light agaaaaiiiinnn I gotta go buy anotherrr. ugh what a botheeerrr."

with how much he has whined about it to his friends they know the exact number of flesh lights he has. That unwanted knowledge isn't intentional, it's inevitable.

"Well I think you're doing something wrong babe." You pout, taking the new one out of its packaging. He had just bought a new one and as much as you didn't want to accompany him to the store, you were pushed inside lmao

"How would you know?" He asks, taking the toy from your hand.

"I'll know when I see how you use it." You sit back on his chair, crossing your legs together as well as your arms. "Now, give me a little performance."

long story short you're replacing the toy with yourself, five minutes into the little act

[mimzy-writing-online]

Hello. I had a question regarding your post about blind characters. I have a character in my WIP that must cover their eyes.. but it’s blind. He may need to tell people he is blind to explain why he covers his eyes though. I was wondering how I might write this character without offending. Thank you :)

I think I want to start by explaining the “covering blind eyes” trope and why it has become a harmful trope. I think understanding why it’s hurtful helps everyone learn how to handle it better.

I would guess that the “blind people wear sunglasses” trope comes from Hollywood for the specific reason of 1. wanting to signal to the audience that the character is obviously blind and 2. avoid breaking the suspension of disbelief by preventing the audience from catching the sighted actor look at visual stimuli (because disabled characters are almost always played by able actors).

But this changed the way the public expects to experience blindness. If watching a sighted actor wear sunglasses and say he’s blind is all the exposure to the blind community a person has had, that’s the only model of blindness they’ll recognize. If they meet a blind person in real life who doesn’t wear sunglasses, it’s going to break this built perception and cause an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. 

And then there is the common “cloudy-white blank gaze” that pops up in media. It stems from the fact that cataracts is the most common cause of blindness and the appearance of severe cataracts is a cloudy film in the eyes obscuring the iris and pupil. It can also alter what color a person’s eyes appears to be, making them appear paler and grey in the beginning and then as the cataract advances it becomes more yellow/brown and alters a person’s vision to appear more yellow tinted.

There are lots of other eye conditions that makes the eyes look visibly different. Albinism for instance affects the color and structure of the iris. Eyes might be congenitally misshapen. The muscles might be weak or not work and one or both eyes point significantly outward. Someone who was born blind and experienced no visual stimuli might also have weak muscles around their eyes because they never had a reason to focus their eyes on anything.

And unfortunately humans have the habit of feeling uncomfortable when they meet someone who looks very obviously different from the norm, whether that’s a personal style choice (hair color and style, tattoos, clothing choices) or something they can’t help (a visible disability, skin color, scars). 

To the paragraph above, @gothhabiba replied with:  “it's very weird & ahistorical to claim that racism or ableism are some kind of natural "human" trait.. like frankly it's apologia”

You’re right, I wasn’t thinking beyond that generalization or assumption.

Perhaps a better way to put it is: I was raised in a society where I was taught from childhood to think that there was only one kind of human being to be. White, cis, straight, abled, conservative. That’s a very western thing and that’s a thing I’m going to constantly be unlearning.

Racism and ableism and homophobia aren’t innate, that’s a western thing that was forced onto the rest of the world by colonialism. And because western media created this idea that the world is white, abled, cis, straight, and Christian-value leaning, it taught people to think that was the norm so that seeing someone different from that archetype would cause a cognitive dissonance, which causes discomfort.

And instead of working past that cognitive dissonance to learn more and realize there’s so much more to life than media taught you, society encourages you to ignore that cognitive dissonance by sticking your head in the sand-- or TV screen.

So combine these two tropes or common beliefs together and you get something a little dangerous: the idea that blind people cover their eyes because they look obviously different and they’re ashamed (or should be ashamed) of that.

And if you’re someone who’s just gone blind or who was born blind and you have little to no contact with the blind community, then this societal belief that you should be ashamed of how your eyes look becomes detrimental to your self-esteem and further builds internalized ableism.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve read or watched a blind character cover their eyes with sunglasses because they were ashamed of how their eyes looked. And I distinctly remember a few times where a sighted friend of the character was trying to convince them to stop wearing sunglasses because there’s nothing wrong with looking different--which is true, but it plays into this fantasy of being the perfect abled ally who saves the blind character from being miserable. 

In an ideal world, the character has no reason to believe looking different is a bad thing or diminishes their worth or makes people dislike them. And if they develop this belief, it’s more likely that someone more involved in the disabled community, most likely someone disabled themselves, will set them straight. Or that the character will learn to accept themselves on their own, looks included.

But there are some perfectly valid reasons for any blind person to wear sunglasses. They might have an interest in fashion and sunglasses complete the look they’re going for. They could want to protect their eyes from UV rays while they’re outside. They may experience light sensitivity and sunglasses reduces any discomfort or pain. Those are incredibly common reasons to wear sunglasses whether you’re sighted or blind.

But there are some more complicated situations.

In your words, your character must cover his eyes. You never specified why, so my primary guess is that he has some kind of power that is unpleasant or has devastating affects and the only way to prevent it is to keep his eyes covered. My primary guess stems from this post where an anon and I discussed a retelling of Medusa, a hypothetical blinding of oneself to avoid ever killing anyone ever again, and what I think I would do if I was in that scenario.

So how do you write a blind character who must cover their eyes and avoid some of the complications?

1. Your character must always have the ability to say “fuck off, it’s my business, I don’t have to tell you why I’m blind or why I cover my eyes.”

Most blind people really, really don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty of why they’re blind and how they feel about it and what it’s like being blind with a stranger they’ll never see again or a new acquaintance they don’t know well yet. You have exceptions to that rule where sure, educating the public about blindness is a thing you want to do and you’re committed to helping your community, but I still have days where I don’t want to talk about being blind or disclose my medical crap.

And if someone doesn’t respect their right to their privacy or pushes too much, the blind character is allowed to be angry, is allowed to tell them off and complain without anyone else in the situation vilifying them or saying they’re “overreacting” and “should have just disclosed private information because big deal or whatever.” If they are angry, that’s their right, and it’s not unreasonable, it doesn’t make them a bad person.

2. Your character should not be ashamed of being blind or of covering their eyes. It is a part of their life, they’re used to it by now, even if they weren’t in the beginning.

The shame and internalized ableism is something that should be written about, but that’s for an own-voices story with a blind author. I don’t think an abled person will ever be able to understand how much society expects you to hate yourself and your disability because “being disabled is a tragic thing that ruins your life” and how that does affect your mental health, self esteem, your relationships with others, your medical care, and what kind of accommodations you can get.

3. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few sarcastic lines in response to uncomfortable conversations.

Stranger: so what’s with the...

Blind Character: what’s with what?

S: the... you know

BC: you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific

S: Your eyes?

BC: They’re... eyes

S: but you’re...

BC: Blind?

S: uh...

BC: yeah, I’m blind. *walks away*

Or this conversation:

S: *to some other character* so why are his eyes covered?

(author’s note: which, honestly, that’s fucking rude. At least have the guts to ask me yourself)

BC: If I look anyone in the eye they instantly perish.

*awkward silence*

BC: instantly.

Friend: It’s truly tragic

BC: *melancholic* that’s how I lost my sister. *chokes up* She was so young

Or this conversation:

S: Why are you wearing that?

BC: It’s called fashion Karen!

Or this conversation:

S: are you like... blind?

BC: yes?? why wouldn’t I be?? Wait, are you sighted? Are you one of those sighted people? You poor thing! What caused you to gain your sight? Do you have a car? A bike? Were you born sighted? What’s it like to see color? Do you miss not having to see 

God, I want a chance to try that last one. I haven’t interacted with a stranger in almost a year. One day...

4. Honestly, it’d also be cool if someone’s reaction to your character covering their eyes was like, “cool sunglasses,” or “cool *insert random character, even one you made up* cosplay,” (which is ten times funnier if this character is a notable figure in modern society like an actor who people might cosplay). 

5. You know, if he’s covering his eyes with some kind of blindfold, he should totally have custom blindfolds for his moods. Like, I have a mask that says “suck it up buttercup” and another that says “not today” because sometimes that’s the mood. And sometimes the mood is one of my floral masks, and sometimes the mood is my cat mask.

So, just some thoughts. I hope that helps.

Edit: a commenter said: “op, unless i'm mistaken this kind of reads like anon meant the character ISN'T blind but lies about being blind to explain covering their eyes? it seems like they made a typo on the word "isn't"”

So my original response to the question was based on the assumption that the character is blind. However,

If the character is not blind, then do not under any circumstances have them lie and say they’re blind to escape a mild inconvenience. 

It’s better to have the character actually explain the situation or straight up leave the conversation or invent a more ridiculous lie than to perpetuate the very real stereotype and misconception that there are people who fake being blind and therefore it’s okay to discriminate or harass them if you even suspect they’re faking.

Do not under any circumstances perpetuate that stereotype. Do not harass someone because you don’t think they’re blind enough.

[staywrites]

tw // woojin , sexual assault , anxiety. please read with caution.

around 1 pm gmt+8, i noticed tweets from a cryptic account about a certain person from one of the big 3 companies saying that they had been sexually assaulted in a bar a few months ago. the account stated that the person was a former member of a group, and that they repeatedly used the group to assert power and authority to the victim.

people speculated it to be kim woojin from the victim's clues. people said that the victim confirmed it to be him, but i wasn't able to see a tweet about it.

after their story, their account was either taken down or deactivated, i'm not sure which. and since then, a few accounts had spoken up about their encounters with unnamed male kpop idols and what they had done. even more accounts were made to add confusion to the whole situation and drag other kpop idols in it.

a few hours later, woojin himself tweeted a statementㅡa short statement. he denied the victim's accusations by saying he didn't know the victim nor has he ever been to [the] bar, which the victim did not disclose. he continues by mentioning his upcoming debut as a soloist.

now, there were a lot of disappointed fans about this, but this only fluctuated more when he posted that statement, which for everyone, confirmed that it was him. apart from shamelessly promoting his career, he downright confirmed it was him by disclosing locations the victim did not mention. this started the circus of tweets clowning him, and concerned stays waiting for some response from the boys.

i watched a clip from chan's live implying about woojin's departure from the team, and he said that [he] was selfish and betrayed everyone, especially chan.

chan, who always took the hit for the boys, who posted a long paragraph about woojin's departure when the latter didn't even say a thing, who had to constantly look over the boys when they had to redo everything during cle:levanter era, who watched hyunjin break down infront of so many stays and witness jisung's mental health (and everyone else) deteriorate so much that he had to get professional help, handpicked woojin to be in his little team because he put trust in him to help the group grow and create fond memories with.

and when woojin left, all chan could say as per his idol duties was that he was betrayed. and because of this big information, all of us now know it's more than betrayal.

no sane agency would ever pull a departure announcement days before their comeback. but JYPE did that, swallowing the probable millions worth of budget for their comeback and redoing everything just to remove woojin from all of the upcoming content. they even went as to re-record some of their tracks, which was weird to me way before all of this happened. now we know why.

JYPE and stray kids want nothing to do with him, so everyone should stop putting the phrase 'former stray kids member' next to his name when he already left the company almost a year ago. this was a mistake on media journalists, because as they fish for readers with the phrase, they also come with the uncertainty of whether people will correlate this with the ot8 or not. with their steady rise of popularity and upcoming comeback, i hope everyone outside the stay community considers the fact that woojin isn't a part of the team anymore. this new content is something all eight of stray kids worked hard on to show everyone who they really are, without any trace of woojin whatsoever.

i've only been in this fandom for eighty days (i've been keeping count), so i wasn't really into woojin. but like everyone else, i was disgusted and ashamed. how could someone like him be with the most loving boys we've come to known and be comfortable with? to anyone who is overwhelmed, feeling betrayed, and hurt about this situation, please know that you never knew about this until today and it's okay to say you used to be a fan of him. the main point is that you realized he isn't what you think he is, and it's okay if you'll take your time before accepting it. take things at your own pace. you can always log out and reflect on this situation offline, and we'll always be here to welcome you back. it's okay if you decide to leave the fandom, we respect your decisions.

and to the victim, i hope they sleep better knowing they've told their story and i hope they know there's an entire (logical) community of kpop fans supporting them and wanting justice. that it doesn't matter who they are and what they do; sexual assault should not and should never be taken lightly especially with well-known people in the entertainment industry.

i love you all, and stay safe. support stray kids's comeback on september 14!

[wonlouvre]

pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff and future angst word count: 3.4k WARNINGS: ANGST (i think it’s just minor though), police and prosecution procedures (someone gets arrested).

a/n: disclaimer!! once again, i am in no way well-versed with investigations and trial procedures. please correct me i have made any mistakes. and!! if you noticed, i made revisions at part 7. our boo seungkwan is a prosecutor at the supreme prosecutor’s office instead of the justice department. they’re completely different agencies. anyway, this part will either make or break our couple. please send me what you think!! i hope you enjoy <3

eight: for all the wrong reasons | masterlist

Whatever you’re doing right now would probably go against Seungkwan’s superior’s orders and oath to the Supreme Prosecutor’s Office. But does he care? He doesn’t. Is he scared? He’s not. He never was, unless he’s engaging in something definitely illegal. Well, speaking about a particular case outside the circle of his office in the first place is already illegal. But you are inside and within the office already. Seungkwan will take care of the consequences later

Seungkwan is simple and quick enough to suggest meeting with you at the conference room of their building. He knows you and how much you want to know about this case. This is just a favor he’s returning because he’s grateful that the information you have about the victims made him one step closer to solving and ending this nightmare. 

The prosecutor also invited Wonwoo which could only mean that there are matters that involve the neighboring kingdom and that made you worry. It’s already shameful that this is happening within your kingdom’s territory. But to harm the people of the neighboring kingdom is a different kind of shame and disgust. Everything about this is shameful and disgusting. 

You could go straight to Their Majesties and talk about this, but the Prime Minister already released a statement earlier this morning to appease the public. After much colorful words and apologies, the Royal Family has pledged to cooperate in any investigation and invitation to the court. If you’re being honest, that’s good to hear. If you’re being a lawyer, that only means someone is guilty. 

Seungkwan is currently connecting his laptop to the projector in the background and as he’s about to finish, you can’t help but feel nervous. You were playing with your fingers when Wonwoo placed his hand on yours. He seems to have taken note of your actions whenever you feel a certain way and following that, he seems to finally know how to react to them.

It’s a relief that he’s here even though he shouldn’t have to. More than anyone else, you’re ashamed to be in front of Wonwoo. Ever since you met Jung and Sam, Wonwoo has been nothing but supportive and faithful. Although he has always been, it just got amplified this time around. You ask yourself, if you were to be with someone potentially involved in a crime syndicate, would you stay? Would you believe in them? Would you fight with them? 

You also wish you could ask Wonwoo that. But, a big part of you is afraid to know the obvious answer.

“Are you okay?” Wonwoo asks and the squeeze he gives your hand frees your mind from the scary thoughts plaguing it.

You squeeze his hand back and nod. “Yeah. Just a little tired.”

Wonwoo doesn’t press you any further and just nudges the strands of hair that’s been tickling your eyes. 

It’s right then Seungkwan clears his throat and takes his stand at the podium. “Good morning, Your Highness.”

You sit up straight and lean your elbows on the desk, all ears for what he has to say. 

“Tomorrow, at 12:00 in the afternoon, the Supreme Prosecutor’s Office together with the Justice Department will release a joint statement regarding this case. Today, I will brief you with the findings and facts of the initial investigation because I know we are all curious,” he starts before pressing the next arrow key on his laptop. “After this meeting, however, I won’t be able to disclose to you the developments of this case anymore because a week from now, the first trial will be held.

“I have requested the presence of His Highness, Prince Wonwoo, for this is something that concerns his people,” he continues to flash the next slide, “It has been confirmed by Immigration that the prime suspects and victims are citizens of the neighboring kingdom. The prosecution has already requested to Their Majesties of the neighboring Kingdom to grant us the right to investigate and try the prime suspects within our jurisdiction before we deport them. The request was granted and the prosecution is given 94 days to do what we should and what we can.”

You turn to Wonwoo to gauge his reaction. He meets your eyes and just nods, telling the two of you that the presentation can go on. You bring your attention back to Seungkwan and he proceeds to the next slide. 

“According to the orphanage, the victims were adopted earlier this year with complete and legal documents. So we can understand that technically, they weren’t smuggled,” he explains and points at the mentioned documents flashed on the screen. “Right now, we are investigating the following departments: Trade and Industry, Immigration, and Justice. Alongside with that, we are also investigating the orphanage, the Cabinet and,” a brief pause, “the Royal Family.”

The Royal Emblem flashed on the screen and it didn't look as moral as it used to when Seungkwan ended his presentation. You have no basis to make such claims, but you can’t be blamed either. You want to cry and scream because the anger is too much to bear. But you swallow everything and remain silent. 

“We understand that Her Highness expressed her desire to represent the victims, however the court cannot allow that,” Seungkwan says regretfully before announcing, “We would like to inform you that you could be summoned one of these days,” he then turns to Wonwoo,  “Furthermore, the victims will be interviewed and we ask His Highness to let Social Services take care of them. We respect your attachment and concern for them, but it is of utmost importance that they are in our custody.”

Wonwoo complies with a nod and asks one last question, “Is it confirmed that it’s a violation of the Protection of Children against Abuse, Exploitation and Discrimination Act?” 

Seungkwan nods and sighs, dejected. “The prime suspects are making it difficult, but we’re sure that it is.”

“Don’t you have to go back to the hospital today?” You ask Wonwoo while you drape your coat on your office chair. 

“I took the day off,” he answers and makes himself comfortable on one of the couches. 

You nod and press the on button of your computer. “I’d love you to stay, but I mean it when I say that you won’t have a blast lounging here.”

Wonwoo laughs and the sound of it makes you smile. You watch him lean his head back against the soft cushion and close his eyes. You’re sure he’s thinking about it as much as you do. And it’s only making him even more tired than he already is. You breathe out a sigh and amble your way to take the space beside him. 

“Go home and sleep,” you whisper and gingerly tap his cheek. 

Wonwoo holds your wrist and nestles his face close to your palm. He opens his eyes shortly after and his gaze has got you blinking in surprise, making him grin. You give his cheek a playful pinch to which he groans against.

You only let go when he sits up straight and turns his body to you. He takes your hands and pulls you closer, your knees touching his.  “I’m actually going home, home tonight.”

You stiffen, aware of where this conversation is going. “Oh.”

“My family wants me present as they discuss this whole case,” he says while his fingers stroke the back of your hand. “It won’t be long though. Three days tops.”

You silently nod, keeping your eyes at your intertwined hands. You don’t have any recollection of talking about your engagement ring. It doesn’t have any history with Wonwoo’s ancestors of some sort. But, you know that he chose it with his father. It’s a stainless steel silver band, no diamond visible. But the words for eternity engraved on the inner portion is made of it. 

You’re suddenly afraid that the shine is already tarnished and you’d have to remove it. 

The two of you don’t need to admit and say everything out loud. But, your engagement is already tested and whatever the court rules is crucial for the survival of your relationship. You’re already uneasy because you don’t see yourself letting go of Wonwoo. You can’t let go of Wonwoo. But now he’s going home and you’re not so confident in what his parents would say. 

What if they don’t deem you fit to marry their Crowned Prince anymore?

“I have something to give you.” Wonwoo lets go of your one hand to pull out something from his pocket, making you bring your gaze back at him. He holds it in a fist and flips your other hand with your palm upwards. You were looking into his eyes when something cold met the warmth of your skin. 

It’s a necklace. 

“A promise of my return,” he says and fold your palms, your turn to hold it in a fist. “I know a lifebuoy doesn’t symbolize that, but you get my point.”

His wit relaxes the tensed atmosphere, making you giggle. “Thank you. I love it.”

Wonwoo regards you with a fond smile and slowly leans close to your face, the tip of his nose bumping against yours before finally pressing a tentative kiss on your lips. One peck, followed by a second and on the third he holds your jaw to continue. Your whole body grows hot as his kisses deepen and you kiss him back with the same fervor. It didn’t take long for him to nip and swipe his tongue at your bottom lip, a plea to allow him to kiss you further. You yield and your heart has never beat so fast. 

You clutch the necklace he gave you against his chest while your other hand smooths against his neck. Every day that you’re with Wonwoo, you wish for it to never end. Whenever he holds your hand, keeps you close by an arm around your waist and breathlessly kisses you; you want them always. You want him. You lov---

You stop yourself right there because you’re not ready to take the fall. 

At the same time, Wonwoo hesitantly pulls away from your lips but his forehead remains against yours. “Wait for me?” he whispers, lips still grazing yours. 

You seal your yes with another kiss.

Jeongyeon holds her breath as she waits for your next question. You called her to your office to have an impromptu quiz game. This is not a traditional occurrence at your law firm but you figured that it wouldn’t be a waste of time to review your paralegal as the case is still on-going and the three day leave of your fiancé ends today.

“According to the Mining Act, foreigners are allowed to invest in mining activities of the kingdom. True or false?”

“I know this!” Jeongyeon shouts and raises her hand, asking for a moment. “False?”

You grin and give her a thumbs up. “Correct!”

“Yes!” She jumps and punches her fist up in the air. 

So far, she hasn’t given a single wrong answer and that makes you proud. You watch her dance excitedly around your office when your phone suddenly vibrates inside your pocket. Letting go of your questionnaire, you take it out and the message on the screen brings a smile on your face. 

j.ww: will be back tonight. dinner?

: can’t say no to that.

Wonwoo never failed to send you text messages or give you calls the past three days he was gone. They were always brief, but enough to assure you that you’re always on his mind. It’s a little corny for your age, but you can’t deny it gave you a sense of peace and security. It made your heart flutter as well but you’ll never say it out loud. 

Finally, he’ll be back tonight. You missed him so much and him not coming back didn’t fail to cross your mind each day. You’re hoping whatever he may have discussed with his parents concluded on a positive note. 

“Your Highness?” 

When you look up, you didn’t expect a tall man, wearing an all black suit, with sunglasses covering his eyes to greet you. You stand properly and put your phone back inside your coat pocket. 

“He didn’t have an appointment,” Jeongyeon sheepishly says. “But he insisted.”

The stranger removes his shades and gives you a smile. “Good day, Your Highness. My name is Kim Mingyu and I wish to seek your legal advice.”

“So Mr. Kim, you want to start a business in our kingdom?”

Kim Mingyu is from the neighboring kingdom who’s apparently rich enough to venture to different kingdoms to expand his business and well, make himself richer. Foreigners are welcomed and allowed to establish their business here so long as they abide by the laws of the land. You have had foreign clients of that kind before, asking how to navigate around without facing legal disputes.

Some are nice and genuine, some are the opposite.

Kim Mingyu seems to be the latter.

Mingyu shakes his head as he sips at the iced water he requested. You can hear the ice cubes crushing as he chews on them and you’re regretting not declining his request for a consultation. This man exudes nothing but conceit and you honestly don’t have the time to stroke his ego. He chugs the whole glass before leaning his arms on the table. Meanwhile, you stayed composed with your back straight even though you’re starting to grow irritated at his actions. 

“No, Your Highness,” he answers. “I already have a business here.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Then, what do you require my services for?”

He leans back on the chair again and crosses his arms. “I just want to improve it, but in a legal kind of way.”

“Okay,” you say under your breath, unsure if he’s bluffing you or not. “May I ask what’s your business, Mr. Kim?”

“Mining.”

A stunned silence befalls between the two of you. Is he serious?

“Mr. Kim, you have a mining business in this kingdom?” You try to clarify because maybe you heard him wrong. 

He gives you a high and mighty nod, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. 

“Foreigners are not allowed to engage in mining activities in this kingdom, Mr. Kim,” you remind him, your tone cold.

He shrugs his shoulders and gives you a sinister smirk. “It’s not that hard when you have someone powerful allowing it.”

You are numb and in denial. 

Kim Mingyu is messing with your head, you try to make excuses to keep yourself sane as you run to the car and tell the driver to head straight to the Royal Residences. You don’t even know who that guy is. You don’t have any confirmation of his identity at all. He’s just stirring you up to get a reaction from you. You can’t be vulnerable and you’ll never be. The only way to do that is to stay rational and ask the people he mentioned yourself. 

Your phone is attached to your ear as you wait for Seungkwan to answer. He’s taking rather a while to answer than he used to but it’s okay. You just need to tell him your so-called visitor’s name earlier and maybe he can tell you something, anything, that can ease the growing fear inside your system.

“Your Highness,” he finally answers, just in time when the driver stops at the entryway of the house. You can hear someone shouting from the other line, but you ignore it.

“Seungkwan, do you perhaps know a guy named Kim MIngyu?” You ask and walk your way through the opened and unguarded doors. Odd, you thought, but you ignored it again and continued sprinting to the receiving area. “He was at my office earlier saying some crap about illegal mining, can you loo---”

Handcuffs.

And dozens of men in uniform surrounding your father, The King, made you stop on your tracks. 

“Y/N, I need you to listen to me.” 

But you can’t because this one man with a piece of paper held by one of his hands is talking to your father.

“His Majesty, King XXX, you are under arrest for aiding and allowing the presence and access of foreign nationals and businesses to the mineral resources of this Kingdom, a violation of the Mining Act of 19xx. You have the right to an attorney and in the event that you don’t, the Kingdom will provide you one. You have the right to remain silent and if you waive your right, anything you say can be used for or against you in court.”

 “Y/N?”

You heard what the Royal Police said, loud and clear. You also saw how your father stood up and comply, surrendering his hands to the man holding the handcuffs. When he finally raises his head and meets your eyes, your arm weakens making you drop your phone. Your father shows you a tight smile and quick nod, a false promise that everything will be okay.

You watch, frozen, as they take your father away and all you can hear is the sobs of your mother who couldn’t do anything to save her husband.

The very moment the press took hold of your father’s quiet arrest, it became a mess outside of the residences. News reporters from various broadcasting stations have positioned themselves in front of the camera, making use of your home as their background as they tell the whole nation about the downfall of The King. 

Seungkwan’s words were frantic but painfully true. He has informed you that the prime suspects have dropped the names of every public figure involved in their crime and yes, that includes your father. They were able to present strong evidence in a short period of time, turning the tables and causing chaos at the prosecution. 

Seungkwan told you to stay put and let the Prime Minister do his job. But he wasn’t able to tell you that everything is under control and that your father may just be falsely accused. 

Because he’s not. 

You can see from the window that civilians have joined the crowd and they are livid. You haven’t said a word, you haven’t sat down, you haven’t done anything since you arrived. Your mother is inconsolable and all of the crying has exhausted her, making her faint. If it’s a mess outside what more inside this house with nothing but an eerie silence that’s crumbling you down. 

Eventually, your family will have to face the people you swore to serve with nothing but honesty. When that time comes, will you even have a face to show? Will you have the strength to see their disappointment and distrust? 

What about Wonwoo? What would he think of your father whom he respected? What about his parents who regarded your family with high praises? You tightly gripped on the necklace Wonwoo gave you as you imagined the endless scenarios that could likely end everything. You tightly gripped onto the lifebuoy pendant, holding onto what is left if there’s still at all.

“Your Highness, Prince Wonwoo has arrived.”

Wonwoo looked like he was dragging his whole body from how tired he has been over the past three days. But his pace quickened when he finally saw you. He drops his bag and coat with a resounding thud on the floor and races to meet you halfway and take you in his arms.

His firm embrace swept you off your feet and the only thing that’s helping him to breathe your scent is your arms locked around his neck. 

“What did Seungkwan say? I only heard about it on my way here.” Wonwoo removed his arms from your waist and opted to rub your arms who grew limp by your sides. 

“He couldn’t disclose the full details,” you answer and your head hangs low in humiliation. “My father will be dethroned and worse, imprisoned.”

Wonwoo couldn’t say anything to comfort or correct you and it’s okay. He wants to but you tell him through your eyes that he doesn’t have to. You have thought about it already. You have accepted your father’s fate and most importantly, the fate of your marriage. Wonwoo and his family doesn’t deserve to be entangled with your family’s disgraceful incompetence and lies. 

Maybe you and Wonwoo were betrothed for all the wrong reasons.

So with hot tears streaming down your face and heartbreak tearing you apart, you ask him again. 

“Do you really want to marry me Wonwoo?”

[findingmypeace]

9/18/2022

I need to write this out or I’m going to be ruminating on it all day. Yesterday I said that I had another meltdown at php but this time involving behavior use. I said I wasn’t going to talk about it because I don’t want to trigger anyone. Well, I can’t stop thinking about it so I’m going to write about it but I’ll put it behind a text cut.

This involves behavior I don’t really talk about because I am embarrassed and ashamed. My outpatient therapist and I identified that this dynamic is a direct result of attachment trauma. These are the behaviors I have almost admitted to on here but ended up not disclosing because, again, I am embarrassed and ashamed. I might post this privately. Please remember this is a trauma response and don’t send me hate about how I’m manipulative. I know this behavior is maladaptive. It’s something I’m trying to work through. I am very sensitive about this and I don’t know if I can handle anon hate about this dynamic.

TW: ed behavior use

Yesterday at lunch, after all I’ve been through lately, I said fuck it and gave in and acted on an urge that is ALWAYS there but that I usually fight. It started out innocent enough but in the end led to getting caught purging. I wanted that to happen. Sometimes purging is about A)expressing rage, B)rebelling, and C)communicating that i’m hurting/getting my needs met. These behaviors all came about because of the trauma and all three of those were pretty much at play yesterday. When the pct walked into the bathroom and asked if I was okay I stopped purging and then when I came out and she asked me if I had purged I admitted it. What I can’t get out of my brain is how I should have kept purging. I should have just ignored that she was there and done it anyway. First, because I really did want to purge the supplement and also because then those three things I listed above would have really been acted out. It would have been the ultimate fuck you. But I’m not trying to rebel against her or anyone in treatment. It’s misdirected.

Things have been so messed up lately. I am so hurt and angry with both my parents and my friends from high school. I feel like my life is out of control. My depression is rock bottom and there’s not really much I can do about it except bare with it until it passes. The rage and the rebellion is really directed at my parents and friends. The depression is all encompassing but since yesterday I’ve been distracted and triggered by thinking about how this situation played out yesterday. It gives me a little high and I want to do it again. It’s a welcome distraction from my depression. I fight the urge to do this every single meal and snack. It’s exhausting. It’s part of why I didn’t want to go back to treatment. It is so hard dealing with this urge. The only other person that really knows about this is my outpatient therapist. She’s the one that linked this to trauma. I think I need to tell my treatment therapist even though I’m embarrassed. Maybe it’ll be easier to fight if someone else can identify the warning signs of this behavior.

I don’t know if I can stop ruminating on it. My mood is okay right now. I don’t want to go back to reality. Reality is really painful and I have the entire day alone. I still have to respond to my friend’s text. I don’t want to get into it. I want to focus on the “Fuck you!” aspect of this dynamic because it gives me a high and then I won’t be so depressed. I just hope this day goes by quickly.

Now, to post publicly or privately?

[fuwushiguro]

What has gone on in the last few hours is honestly a mess. Like, truly the messiest most disgusting mess I've ever experienced.

I got an ask a few hours ago asking if I knew [redcated] was a minor. I didn't, and apparently it isn't true. But there's been a whole back and forth thread about everything.

I messaged [redacted] about this, and they told me they were going to 'address' it. To which, I think could only been solved if their ID was posted or they admitted they were a minor.

Instead, the person in question made a big text post explaining that they made their blog while they were a minor, was posting NSFW/DC whilst a minor and not diclosing that fact, and didn't post publically they were weren't a minor until their birthday had been.

While I think not disclosing that you're a minor is shady as hell and unacceptable, I think that post is fair enough in itself. That would have been enough for people to decide if they wanted to keep following their account or to block them.

I know the person in question has been receiving death threats, which is absolutely not okay under any circumstances.

However, this is what I don't like.

I do not care for how screenshots of an unrelated topic were brought into the conversation, because that has created more discourse and animosity for no reason. I feel that this was an attempt to shift the conversation from the topic of age into the discussion of drama.

The comments I have read tonight of that post have been infuriating and childish, a group of people responding childishly to other comments. People bringing up valid points which were answered with bitchy childish internet culture styled responses.

They made a point that it had nothing to do with anyone but whoever was involved but then the post was public and even pinned to the top of the persons blog.

What has infuriated me to words I cannot begin to type is the hate that Pala has received.

Pala and I are not mutuals and have had limited conversation, but I think she is a lovely person and doesn't deserve any of the messages she's received tonight.

One in particular has disgusted me to an immeasurable volume, I am so angry that I am shaking as I type this because it is so morally bankrupt and so strayed from humanity I cannot believe it is something I have read with my own eyes. How anyone could even think something so outright vile, let alone send it to someone, I can't comprehend. It is foul, and whoever did it should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

To not take any accountability, to laugh, to make jokes, to shift blame, when something so callous has been said to another human being is just absolutely horrendous and I cannot believe this has taken place.

A community that has been formed to share each other's creativity has turned to this, I hate what I've witnessed tonight. I knew discourse happened, it's a fact of life. But this is not something I ever could have predicted.

Pala, if you read this I imagine you're not okay, but I hope you are. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this, read this, experience this. It's not on, it's not fucking okay. And I know there are so many other people that will agree with me and be here to help you no matter what.

- Venus.

[pappydaddy]

Tribulations (n.w.)

 A/N: I am slowing knocking these requests down! I am so happy to finally be able to get these imagines out for you guys who have waited so, so patiently!! This one is for the lovely anon who requested Nancy x fem!reader with a secret relationship. I had no idea what to title this so I just went with a word😅! This has some hardcore angst so I hope you don’t mind! Hope you enjoy it lovely💛!

Pairing: Nancy Wheeler x Fem!Reader

Show/Movie: Stranger Things

Requested

Inspired by: i love you by billie eilish (slowed + reverb) (first bit) and She by dodie (second bit) *creds to owners, found in links)                    

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, argument, fluff.

masterlist | taglist | wips | navigation - my gif -

 There was a certain comfort about hiding something so tender from everyone else. Maybe it was the fact that it remained untouched by the menacing hands of the outside world, maybe it was the fact that it laid in the shadows, unseen by everyone else. Whatever it was, Nancy didn’t have a problem continuing this charade of hiding her relationship from her friends and family. She was perfectly content on hiding the loving touches and kisses that she and Y/N shared in the confines of their rooms. 

 Y/N on the other hand was growing tired of being hidden. She wanted nothing more than to hold Nancy’s hand as they walked down the street in the daylight. She wanted to kiss her in front of their friends just as Nancy had done with her boyfriend’s in the past. She wanted to have the sickeningly cute relationship you saw in the movies, but yet, she was restricted to stealing kisses when they snuck away under the pretenses of powdering their noses. 

 “Hey, Nance,” Y/N spoke up, her teeth picking at her bottom lip nervously. She didn’t lift her head off Nancy’s chest, remaining in her comfortable position of laying between Nancy’s thighs, their stomachs pressing together. Nancy hummed, her fingers continuing to comb through Y/N’s hair. “I’ve been thinking-”  

 “Uh oh, thinking almost always leads to something.” Nancy commented, trying to keep the lightness of the situation, almost as if she knew exactly what Y/N was going to try and talk about. Y/N sensed her girlfriend’s nerves rising, the panic stirring under her calm surface. She pulled herself from Nancy’s embrace, suddenly the calmness she once felt a second ago turned to undeniable tension. Sitting on her knees, she faced Nancy who sat up, pulling her knees to her chest. 

 “Yeah, that’s kinda the whole point,” Y/N nodded awkwardly, tangling her fingers together nervously. “Um, I was just wondering when we could maybe tell people about us,” She spoke the question that had been weighing on her mind for some time. “It doesn’t have to be everyone, it can start with Robin and Steve or something, or maybe just Robin, it doesn’t matter as long as you’re comfortable, but I just want someone else to know about us.” She rambled, worried that the thought of telling everyone they knew would freak Nancy out too much. 

 “I don’t know, Y/N, I kind of like this.” Nancy shrugged, wrapping her arms around herself. Y/N sighed, her shoulders slumping. She knew that Nancy had worked at breaking from the mold of the perfect daughter, trying to stop living with a safety net under her at all times, but she also knew that the safety net had only dropped so far. 

 “Like what, Nancy? Like only being able to hold each other within a certain four walls? Is this all our relationship will be? Hiding in our rooms, stealing kisses in empty public washrooms?” Y/N pressed, gesturing to the room they currently sat in. The walls of Nancy’s room was a sight that Y/N saw pretty much daily, but right now, she would rather be anywhere else. 

 “Of course not,” Nancy defended, her mouth falling open as she struggled to find a way to reply to her. “But you have to admit that there is something special about keeping this,” She gestured between herself and Y/N who remained at the foot of her bed, keeping as much distance between them as she could. “Keeping us away from them.” She pointed her finger towards her window. Y/N glanced towards it before shaking her head.   

 “Look Nancy, I get that you’re nervous to tell people and that’s okay, but honestly,” She took a deep breath. “You might be okay with hiding us from the world, but it makes me feel like shit. It makes me think that you don’t want people to know that you’re dating me and that hurts.” Tears stung her eyes, but she hurriedly blinked them away. She kept her eyes from meeting Nancy’s brown ones, knowing that if she looked at them, she wouldn’t be able to stop the salty tears from streaking down her cheeks. 

 “That’s not what I meant to do, you have to trust me, Y/N/N,” Nancy pleaded, rolling onto her knees to reach for Y/N’s hands. Y/N scrambled off the bed, standing in the middle of Nancy’s room with her hands raised in the air to avoid Nancy from teaching them. She shook her head, a lump forming in her throat. “I never meant for you to feel like that, I just think it’d be better if we keep our relationship a secret for a bit longer-” 

 “Yeah, a bit longer,” Y/N’s voice was weak as she tried to hold back her emotions, her bitter sarcasm straining through just enough for Nancy to recognize it. “That’s what you said two months ago! And two months before that,” She exclaimed loudly. Nancy sent a panicked look to the closed bedroom door, shushing Y/N. “Christ Nancy! We’re nearing our one year anniversary and we are still keeping us a secret,” She continued. Nancy opened her mouth to talk, but Y/N unknowingly cut her off, finally meeting Nancy’s eyes. “Why,” She spoke the word softly, so softly that it was almost unheard. “Why do you want to keep us a secret?” Hurt was evident in her voice and Nancy knew that nothing she could say would make that hurt go away right now.  

 “I-I,” She stammered, this time, it was her eyes that dropped from Y/N’s. “I-”  

 “Is it because you’re dating me, a girl,” Y/N posed the question with a strained voice. This time a tear did roll down her cheek. “Because I really don’t want to think that you would be ashamed of that, but I really cannot find another reason why you would be so adamant about keeping us a secret. And if you’re not ready to come out to people yet, that’s fine. I am completely okay with that because that’s something you have to do on your own time, but all I am asking for is for you to tell me so that we can figure out where we can go from here,” She ranted her voice wobbling. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to will the tears and lump in her throat away, but it was useless. “Because I don’t want to sit here and just be a secret forever.”  

 “That’s not the reason! Maybe it’s part of it, but trust me when I say that I am ready to come out to my mom and brother! Even our friends, but I don’t want to fully disclose our relationship with them.” Nancy told her, her eyes wide.  

 “That’s the thing, Nancy,” She sighed. “I don’t want to force you to come out to anyone if you’re not ready. If you were truly ready, you would have talked about it or at least thought about before you realized that you could lose me from this,” Y/N finally shuffled back over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it, just far enough out of Nancy’s reach to let her know she still didn’t want to be touched. “I’m not saying I want to break-up, I am saying that I want to talk about this with you, but I think we both need to take some time and think about what we want separately and then talk.”  

 “So you want to go on a break?” Nancy’s voice wobbled this time, her bottom lip quivering ever so slightly.  

 “No, just take a day or two, think about it and then we can talk and see where to go from there. We need to start communicating instead of just brushing everything under the rug,” Y/N paused, hesitantly reaching her hand out to lay in over Nancy’s, their eyes connecting. “But don’t feel like you need to come out to keep me, I don’t want to force you to come out, I just want to talk.” She reminded her. 

 “Talk,” Nancy nodded, swallowing thickly. “We can do that.”  

 “Okay,” Y/N whispered, pulling her hand off Nancy’s slowly. “I’m going to go now, call me when you want to talk?” She asked, picking her bag up off the floor. Nancy nodded, her lips pressing together in an attempt to stop the trembling. She didn’t answer, too scared that she’d break down if she opened her mouth to speak.  

 With a final nod and a tight smile, Y/N opened the door to Nancy’s room. It felt like even more of a weight settled down upon her now that the fate of their relationship hung in the balances of uncertainty as she closed the door behind her and quickly made her way out of the Wheeler household. “Leaving so soon, Y/N, I was just going to go up and ask if you were staying for dinner tonight.” Mrs. Wheeler perked up as the teen rushed past the entrance of the dining room. Y/N stopped, backing up to peek her head around the wall, a fake smile on her lips.  

 “Uh, not tonight Mrs. Wheeler, thanks for the offer though! I’m just really swamped with College Applications and stuff, the busy life of a Senior!” She lied, hoping the older woman would buy it. Mrs. Wheeler hummed, nodding as if she hadn’t bought the lie she gave her. 

 “You’re coming to the movie night this weekend though, right?” Mike popped up, blinking at the girl. The monthly movie night. It started with just Y/N, Steve, Robin, and the kids before it expanded to include Nancy after her break-up with Jonathan. 

 “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” She told him, earning a smile from the lanky teen. “See you, Mrs. Wheeler, thank you for having me!” She called over her shoulder, escaping the seemingly cheery house as she felt like she was suffocating. She regretted bringing the topic up. She wanted to huddle back under the shade of the shadows, the protection of blissful ignorance, but she knew that if they wanted to progress this relationship any farther, they had to talk about this sooner or later.  

 She held onto her tears long enough to slip into her car, but the second the door slammed, her shoulders shook as tears rolled freely down her cheeks. The fear that maybe this might be the end of her relationship weighing heavily on her mind. ____  

  “Nancy?” Y/N gasped in shock when she pulled her front door open to see her girlfriend standing on her porch. Nancy looked up from her feet, her eyes connecting with Y/N’s. Tension and an air of awkwardness surrounded them as they stood there staring at each other. 

 “Um, I know you asked me to call you, but I was out driving and I thought that there was no better time to talk than now,” Nancy explained, shuffling her feet. Y/N blinked, not having expected Nancy to be ready to talk so soon (a day) after the fight. “Could I come in?” She asked the stunned girl, pointing past her into her house.  

 “Yeah, yeah,” Y/N nodded, stepping aside as she ran a hand over her face. “Come in, and uh, sit down, my parents are out for the night so we can talk in the living room if you’d like.” Y/N swallowed, gesturing towards the empty living room. 

 “Thank you.” Nancy whispered in passing, slipping into the house and practically beelining towards the living room. Y/N softly closed the door, leaning her forehead against the wood of it before pushing off it and joining Nancy.  

 “Would you like a drink or something before we start talking,” She asked, rubbing the back of her neck. Nancy shook her head, settling down on the couch, placing her bag by her feet delicately. “Okay,” Y/N nodded, rubbing her nervous palms on her jeans. She sat on the opposite end of the couch stiffly, clearing her throat. “So, you’re ready to talk about us?”  

 “Yeah, um,” Nancy shifted, angling her body to look at Y/N better from the corner of her eyes. She kept her gaze on her interlocked fingers that were placed in her lap. “I gave it a lot of thought.” Nancy informed her. Y/N hummed, turning her head to look at Nancy, waiting for her to continue, but she didn’t.

 “And?”  

 “And I am ready to come out to our friends and my mom, but I just don’t know about telling them about us.” Nancy slowly let her eyes flirt up to look at Y/N, avoiding eye contact despite being glued to her face. Y/N nodded, pulling her face away from the girl, looking off towards the wall in front of her. The lump returned, blocking her airway.  

 “Okay, may I ask why you don’t want to tell them about us?” She wondered, trying to keep her watering eyes from developing into tears. Her heart sinking to the bottom of her feet. 

 “I don’t really know, it’s just that this is good - what we have is good.” Nancy tried to explain.

 “Can I ask if you feel scared to tell people about us?” Y/N once again wondered, not wanting to push Nancy into doing something she didn’t want to, but also wanting to be happy in a relationship. She wanted to be with Nancy, but if Nancy wasn’t willing to consider the option of telling someone about their relationship, Y/N wasn’t sure she would be happy in the relationship.  

 “No, of course not,” Nancy defended honestly, slumping when she realized that she would have to expose the real reason to Y/N. “I just don’t want anything to change. I like how this is going and I don’t want to let the world at what we have, it’s too tender and too soft for the world.”  

  “If what we have is too soft for the world then it’s doomed because even hidden behind a curtain of secrecy, our relationship still had to stand the test of the world,” Y/N told her, still not looking towards the slack-jawed girl. “Look, Nancy, the world will get to us, maybe even more if we keep this a secret. Change is inevitable, it will get us either way.”  

 “I get that, but for right now, we can protect this from the world for just a bit longer!” Nancy cried, trying to prove her point. Y/N shook her head, turning her watery eyes to look at Nancy. 

 “Don’t you see it, Nance? This right here,” She gestured around the room and between them. “This fight, this argument that we’re having. This is the world getting at we have. And as much as I respect your desire to stay a secret, I just can’t be happy in a secret relationship that has no signs of becoming public at all.”  

 “So you want to break-up?” Nancy’s question was so similar to the one she asked the other day and she wished that Y/N’s answer would be the same as it was that time. Nancy let out a breath when Y/N shook her head.

 “No, I don’t want to break-up, but I want to know that eventually, we will tell our friends at least because I love you and I want to hold your hand, I don’t want to pretend to be just friends in front of everyone. I love you Nancy Wheeler and I want to show you that I love you in front of our friends because it kills me to hear them asking you if you’ve met anyone and for you to tell them no.” Y/N ranted, her eyes darting away from Nancy’s once again.  

 Nancy sat there, her world shattering around her at the words Y/N spoke to her. “You love me?” Nancy whispered, hoping that Y/N didn’t mean those words.

 “Yeah,” Y/N whispered back, her body riddled with anxiety. She could hear Nancy swallow from the deafening silence blanketing the room. Y/N’s tongue darted out to wet her lips nervously, waiting for Nancy to say something. “If you don’t want to say it back, it’s fine. Really, and it’s okay that you don’t want to tell people about us, but I just want you to tell me that there is a chance of us telling people about us before I fall any deeper.”  

 Nancy watched the glistening tear roll down Y/N’s cheek, a ball forming in her throat and a suffocating weight being placed on her chest. “I-I don’t know,” Nancy stuttered out, standing from the couch, her purse dangling from her fingers. “I need to go and think more, I guess I wasn’t ready for this yet, I’m sorry, Y/N,” She rushed out. Y/N stood, her heart falling from Nancy’s hands and splattering on the carpeted floor under their feet. “I’ll call you when I’ve figured it out, okay?” Nancy fled to the door, yanking it open and darting to her car before Y/N could even get to the front door herself. 

 “Wait, Nancy,” Y/N called, scrambling onto the porch, watching as the girl she loved slid into a Station Wagon. “Where does this leave us?” Her voice echoed into the night, but it didn’t receive an answer. ____

  The weekend rolled around faster than Y/N wanted to. She had waited for so long for Nancy to come and talk to her, but her phone never rang nor did her doorbell. Y/N regretted a lot of things. The deep regret of bringing this up in the first place still grew in her stomach, the regret of saying that she loved her in the height of emotions piled on top of that to great a giant pile of regret. 

 Nancy on the other hand was high strung. Her mind ran a mile a minute. Her thoughts were all occupied by Y/N. The way her touch made her feel, the way her smile lit up the world, the beautiful melody that was her laugh. Before, she wasn’t sure why she wanted to keep the beautiful relationship between them a secret, but it came to her suddenly. She was scared, scared of having this relationship fail too. She had fallen out of love with Steve easily when Jonathan crept his way into her heart then she fell out of love with Jonathan due to the struggles of long-distance. When Y/N had uttered those words to her, it re-enforced that fear, but also made it clear that Nancy was once again free falling. She couldn’t escape her feelings, they were there and they needed to be tended to.  The doorbell to the Wheeler household rang through the still house, jolting Nancy out of her thoughts. It was Y/N without a doubt, the others were already piled in the basement waiting for the movie night to begin. Swallowing thickly, Nancy chewed on her bottom lip. She stood from her bed, rushing down the stairs when she heard her mom greeting Y/N with excitement. She always loved Y/N. “Y/N,” Nancy exclaimed, stopping on the turn of the stairs. Y/N snapped her head up at the call of her name as did Mrs. Wheeler. “Could I talk to you in my room for a second?” She nodded her head up the stairs, her eyes pleading.  

 “Yeah, of course, Nancy.” Y/N nodded, her voice full of worry and nerves. She was convinced that Nancy was going to break up with her. That this would be the end to Nancy and Y/N. Mrs. Wheeler sent her daughter a wink and a smile, causing Nancy’s cheeks to flush, but Y/N was too wrapped up in her mind to notice it.  The walk to Nancy’s room was short, but right now it felt like the length of Indiana itself. The silence between them was absolutely stifling. Nancy closed the door behind them, not missing the way Y/N moved to the other side of the room - putting as much distance between them as she could. 

  “Hi.” Nancy breathed, turning to face the silent girl. Y/N blinked, obviously filled with anxiety.  

 “You wanted to talk to me?” Y/N reminded, her hands slipping into the pockets of her denim jacket. Nancy cleared her throat, nodding. She took a few hesitant steps towards Y/N, not too many that she made her feel uncomfortable, but enough for her to get closer. From there, she was able to catch a whiff of Y/N’s calming scent from the spring breeze rolling in from the open window. Nancy took the chance to breathe it in, having missed it for the past few days.  

 “Yeah, I realized something while we were apart,” Nancy paused, looking down as she fiddled with her fingers. “I realized a lot actually and I’m not really sure where to start-”  

 “Just start where it feels natural, let your gut choose.” Y/N offered, making Nancy look up at her. The last rays of the sun shining through the window, creating a glow around her, making her look like an angel. Nancy lost her thoughts as she gazed upon her, the hues of pink and orange glowing off her skin, looking like a painting you would find in the Le Louvre.  

 “You mean everything to me,” She exhaled, startled that it had slipped out of her mouth. “Oh wow, okay, guess we are going with that first,” She admitted bashfully, dropping her head to face the carpet to hide the blush dusting her cheeks from Y/N. “I love you Y/N, so much and the reason I ran after you said that was because you were right, right about me being scared,” She sucked a breath in, trying to keep all the mustered up confidence that she had in her. “I was scared of those words, scared of yet another failed relationship and that’s why I was so against us telling people.”  

 “And what about now,” Y/N stepped one step closer, feeling hopeful. “Are you still scared?”  

 Nancy shook her head gently. “A little, but I’m more excited to see where this goes if you still love me.”  

 “Of course I still love you! It would take an awful lot for me not to love you,” Y/N smiled, taking a few more steps towards Nancy. Nancy took two steps, the two meeting in the center of the room, face to face. Their mouths were both stretched into large smiles, matching blushes painting their cheeks as they held each other. “You mean everything to me.” She whispered, leaning her face closer to Nancy’s. Nancy giggled, closing the distance between them to press their lips together.  

 They both welcomed the taste of each other, missing it desperately. Warmth spread through Y/N’s body, feeling like every single nerve was alive with happiness from the touching of their lips. Pulling back from the tender kiss, Nancy still held Y/N tight to her. “I want to tell them.”  

 “Tell them that you like girls and guys?” Y/N questioned, not knowing that Nancy had come out yet. 

 “I already told my family that, they are very accepting, my dad was a bit cold, but mom talked to him,” Nancy told her as if it wasn’t a big deal, but the growth of her smile told Y/N otherwise. “I want to tell them about us. I am pretty sure my mom already knows, I think she knew before I came out, but I want to tell our friends. Tonight.”  

 “Are you sure, I don’t want you to think that you have to do that in order for me to stay with you because I’ll stay with you regardless.” Y/N worried, not wanting to pressure Nancy into anything she didn’t want to do. 

 “I want to, I think it’d be a good baby step for us to slowly not be a secret anymore.” Nancy confirmed, pulling away from Y/N, but keeping one of her hands tightly in her grasp, her eyes twinkling with pure happiness. 

 “Only if you’re sure. You can take the reins on this one in case you change your mind, okay?” Nancy ignored this, pulling Y/N towards the door and into the hall, her fingers intertwining with Y/N’s absent-mindedly. Their hearts beat wildly in their chests as they rushed down the main stairs and dashed to the basement door. The room was already dark, the only light being from the blue screen coming from the TV, the VCR already prepped for the movie night.  

 “ ‘Bout time you two got down here.” Dustin grumbled from his spot on the floor next to Mike. 

 “Sorry, but we had to discuss something that we want to share with you guys,” Nancy could barely contain her excitement as she shared a giddy, love-struck look with Y/N. The group looked at her, Steve and Robin sitting on the couch with their feet propped up on the middle cushion. Max and Lucas sat on the floor with their backs pressed against the couch. “We’re dating, have been for almost a year.” They looked back at the group to see them all sharing looks.

“So,” Mike spoke up, as they all turned to look at the two girls again. “We already knew that. For a while now.” 

 “Wait, what?” Nancy sputtered, her eyes wide, her mouth falling open in shock.  

 “For starters, you guys are not discrete at all.” Steve broke the news, tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth. Nancy scoffed, rolling her eyes, muttering a small ‘says you’ under her breath, earning a whine from her ex-boyfriend.  

 “Secondly, you should see the way you two look at each other, it was so obvious that you guys were mad for each other,” Robin shrugged. “Now hurry up and sit down so we can start this movie, I’ve been itching to see it.” Robin ordered, pointing to the armchair that was conveniently the only chair left for them.  

 “And we thought this would be ground-breaking news,” Y/N chuckled, shaking her head as Nancy led her across the darkroom. Plunking down in the soft chair, Nancy pulled Y/N down to sit on her lap, but Y/N shimmied so that only her legs rested over Nancy’s lap. “I love you.” She hummed, snuggling into her girlfriend.  

 Nancy pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you too, Angel.”

[hxlyhead-harpies]

The Last Dream of My Soul part 2. (R.L.)

This part is a bit short but I hope that’s okay with you all! Any feedback is appreciated and message me or comment if you want to be tagged! My requests are also open. Enjoy!

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: The very bookish (Y/n) has spent most of her life alone, aside from her best friend Lily and her beloved books. But when the infamous Marauders get thrust into her life, how could she resist the beautiful and unattainable Remus?

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.8k

Part one

By your second week eating breakfast with the Marauders you were starting to feel like you really belonged with them. James was extremely funny, in your opinion the funniest of the group. He never failed to make you laugh when you sat near him in the common room and once he made you laugh so hard in the Great Hall that you had almost choked on your toast. Sirius was also funny but in a different way. He playfully flirted with anything that moved, something that would normally make you scoff, but with him it just made you laugh. You weren’t as close with Peter, though you helped him with his transfiguration homework and he occasionally shared his sweets with you. And then, of course, there was Remus. Remus was by far your favorite of the group, though it was for reasons you’d never dare disclose to anyone but Lily. He was sweet, sending you reassuring smiles when you’d muster up the bravery to tell a story to the group. He’d slip you chocolates when you were studying late at night and fostered the same love for muggle literature as you. Every little thing he did only added to your attraction to him. In your eyes, he was absolutely perfect

You looked forward to the evenings in the common room, sitting next to the crackling fire with the marauders and Lily. Laughing at James and Sirius’s jokes and stealing glances at Remus’s face, seemingly glowing the light of the fire. You finally felt as if you had found your place at Hogwarts.

“Hey (Y/n),” Remus said, startling you out of your thoughts. You turned to look at him.

“Yeah?” you replied. He shifted in his spot on the floor, next to the couch where Lily sat with James.

“I just finished Crime and Punishment,” he said. You turned in the large armchair where you sat to fully face him.

“Oh really? How did you like it?” you asked.

“I liked it, though I have to digress- you were right- it is a bit dense,” he answered. You smiled at his from your seat, quickly looking down at your hands.

“Well of course. I told you so,” you responded. You heard him laugh lightly from the floor.

“I was wondering though if I could borrow your book? The one you talked about at breakfast the other week,” he inquired.

“Oh of course!” you said. “I can go fetch it for you right now.” You gestured towards the stairs that led to the girl’s dormitory.

“Oh you don’t have to get it right now,” Remus said. You smiled and shook your head.

“It’s no trouble. I’ll be right back,” you replied, pushing yourself up from the armchair. He thanked you as you made your way towards the staircase, but you just smiled and waved him off.

When you got to your room you rifled through your bag, attempting to locate the book. You searched for a moment to no avail, before realizing that you had left it on your bedside table. After you retrieved it you turned to head back downstairs, only to almost run directly into Lily.

“Oh my goodness Lils! You scared me,” you said, clutching your chest.

“Oh I’m sorry,” she replied.

“What are you doing up here?” you inquired. Mere minutes ago she was downstairs in the middle of a conversation. You wondered what had brought her upstairs so early. She usually didn’t leave the common room for at least another hour.

“It was getting late and I’m tired,” she replied, shrugging. “Plus James and everyone else decided to go up to bed,” she continued. You felt yourself deflate.

“Oh,” you said. “I was supposed to bring this down to Remus. I guess I took too long,” you said, holding up the book. You felt embarrassed that you had gone all the way upstairs to retrieve him the book when he had just decided to go to be without waiting for you.

“Don’t be silly,” Lily said with a smirk. “He’s still waiting for you downstairs.”

“Oh,” you responded.

“Yes he’s waiting for you all alone in the empty common room,” Lily said in a teasing sing-song voice. You felt yourself blush.

“Lily, I’m going down there to lend him a book. What do you think is going to happen?” you said. Lily just laughed, wiggling her eyebrows at you. You shook your head and headed down towards the common room, now feeling slightly nervous. When you got to the bottom of the stairs you saw Remus’s head pop up. He had moved from his spot on the floor to the now vacant couch. He shot you a smile as you walked over to him.

“Here it is,” you said, handing the book to him. “Sorry I kept you down here waiting for me, I didn’t know everyone was planning on turning in so early.”

“Oh it’s no problem,” he replied, taking the book from you. He quickly flipped through the pages, feeling the worn parchment against his fingers.

“Wow, Lily wasn’t kidding. You really have marked this thing up,” he said, chuckling. You ducked your head in embarrassment.

“Yeah… Sorry about that,” you responded sheepishly. Remus looked up at you, his eyes sparkling in the dim light.

“Oh don’t worry about it. I can tell that you really love the book,” he said. You nodded silently, averting your eyes to your shoes. A silence fell between you as Remus turned the book over in his hands. You were debating whether to bid him goodnight and go upstairs or attempt to start a conversation with him. Luckily, he made the decision for you.

“At the risk of sounding like a complete idiot, what is this book about?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. You giggle softly before sitting down next to him on the sofa.

“Well,” you began. “It’s the story of the muggle French revolution. It follows a man who was kept as a political prisoner, his daughter, a French aristocrat, and a drunken lawyer. It’s full of intrigue and espionage, and while not a romance, it contains what I consider to be the most romantic scene ever written,” you said, catching yourself before you continued to ramble. You look up to meet Remus’s eyes to see that he’s smiling.

“That sounds incredibly interesting,” he said after a moment. You smiled and nodded.

“What qualifies it to be the most romantic scene ever written?” he asked in an almost teasing, yet earnest tone.

“I’m not sure exactly. Something about the words is just perfect. I guess it’s just the kind of thing I wish someone would say to me,” you answered shyly. You saw him nod in your peripheral vision.

“Are you a fan of romances then?” he inquired.

“Yes, I am. They might be my favorite type of book to read,” you answered abashedly. You had always loved the allure of romance novels; Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, and Jane Eyre had been your go-to reads throughout your adolescence. You longed for a romance of your own, and since that seemed unattainable, you lived vicariously through your books.

“I don’t think that’s anything to be ashamed of,” Remus said, “Though I can’t say they’re my favorite types of books.” You laughed.

“That doesn’t exactly surprise me, Remus. You are a boy after all,” you said jokingly, nudging his shoulder with your own.

“Hey! That’s an unfair stereotype. I’m sure plenty of boys enjoy romance novels. I am just not one of them,” he said with a smile, nudging you back.

“Why don’t you like them?” you asked. He shrugged, his joking demeanor morphing into a more uncomfortable one.

“I don’t know exactly… I just don’t picture myself wanting a real-life romance, so why would I want to read about a fictional one?” he elaborated. You felt your stomach drop.

“Oh,” you said, attempting to keep your voice even, “so you just don’t want to fall in love?”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s it. I don’t think the whole falling in love and marriage thing is for me,” he responded. You hoped that you appeared to have an unbothered demeanor because it felt as if your heart was breaking.

“That sounds a little sad, don’t you think?” you asked. Remus shook his head, still appearing a tad uncomfortable.

“Not to me. Besides, loneliness isn’t the worst type of pain that one can feel,” he replied. You frowned.

“I’m not sure about that. For me, the pain of loneliness seems unparalleled. I want nothing more than to fall in love,” You took a deep breathe, playing with the hem of your sweater. From the corner of your eye, you saw Remus shrug.

“I guess that’s where you and I differ,” he said after a beat. You nodded quietly. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, you stood up from your seat on the couch and dusted off your skirt.

“Well, I best be off to bed,” you said. Remus looked up at you quickly. He gave you a small smile before bidding you goodnight. You quickly turned around and rushed up the stairs.

By the time you got to your dorm, your body felt heavy with disappointment. You closed the door hurriedly behind you before flopping onto your bed. You let out a sad sigh, looking up at the ceiling, After a minute you felt the bed dip beside you and you look up to see Lily grinning down at you.

“So how’d it go?” the redhead asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Fine,” was your response. Lily groaned before laying down next to you in the bed.

“Come on (Y/n). Please just tell me what happened,” she begged.

“Nothing happened,” you said simply, “and it’s been made clear to me that nothing ever will happen.” Lily looked at you, clearly confused.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I have been informed that Remus Lupin is not one for romance. He doesn’t want it now, and he doesn’t want it ever,” you replied, wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Oh,” Lily said softly. “That was not how I expected that to go.” She turned her head to look up at the ceiling.

“It’s fine,” you said. “I’ve gone seven years without needing a boyfriend. I certainly don’t need one now,” you said defiantly, getting up to begin getting ready for bed. You saw Lily frown.

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t want one. You’re allowed to be sad you know?” she says, propping herself up on her elbows.

“Lily, if I let myself be sad over every boyfriend that I never had then I would have been sad for the last seven years,” you replied. Lily began playing with the threads of the quilt that was splayed across your bed.

“I guess.” She got up quickly and went to join you by your dresser. “Well even if Remus Lupin is too daft to realize it, you’re quite a catch,” she said reassuringly. You giggled quietly.

“Thank you, Lils,” you responded.

“Don’t worry someday you will meet your Mr. Heathcliff,” she reassured you, patting you on the shoulder, before skipping off to her own bed. You run your brush through your hair, desperately hoping that she was right.

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Taglist:

@goosegorl​ @serenefreakgeek​

[dancingazaleas]

historia reiss | forever and always

writing for historia is making me fall in love with her and realize that she’s an amazingly written character.

enjoy this bittersweet one shot

warnings/notes: canon au, takes place during historia’s pregnancy, season 3 and up spoilers, cursing, angst, fluff/comfort, s4 spoilers, chapter 105 and up spoilers.

you remember the first day you met historia. it was the first time she came back to the farm, face devoid of all emotion. you’d heard that it was her hometown whenever you were planting vegetables with your friend. you gaped at her, exclaiming that she had to have been lying since she was a queen. no one disclosed why she was there, not that you minded, you didn’t want to get in her way.

now, you’re opening your eyes to see her staring at you. you just blink and bring your hand to wipe the sleep out of your eyes.

“you alright,” you murmured, staring at the bump on her belly.

she just gives a nod that leaves you unconvinced.

“are you sure? you don’t typically come sleep with me in my room,” you hesitate putting a comforting hand on her bicep, but she doesn’t react.

a little while after historia had gotten pregnant, the two of you had met when she went to town for fruits and vegetables. she hardly spoke and it often left you confused.

whenever historia started showing, she finally admitted that she didn’t live with anyone. a farmer, who you assume got her pregnant, would often come by her house and stay with her for hours. he cared for her whenever he was there, but she even admitted that she can’t be as friendly with him as she is with you. you scoffed at the statement; historia only spoke whenever it was required and whenever she felt like it.

you offered to move in with her, you had needed to move out of your parent’s home anyway, and all she gave was a small smile and a nod. you slept in the room next to her’s and told her that if she was having difficulty with sleeping that she could sleep with you. it was rare that she’d have issues sleeping, but then again historia didn’t speak up about much.

“just a nightmare,” she said quietly.

you hum in response, sliding your hand up to her cheek. she had no interest in sharing what it was about.

“we’ve gotta get up,” you smile as you stroke her cheek with your thumb.

she nods, watching you sit up and get out of bed. you yawn and stretch your arms towards the sky, walking over to historia’s side of the bed to see if she needed help getting up. she got up without an issue, silently intertwining her fingers with your’s.

around this time, you usually helped her bathe. and by help, you just stood close by the bathroom door to make sure she doesn’t slip.

“need help taking off your nightgown,” you ask while you turn on the shower, keeping your hand under the stream of the water to feel it warm up just a slight.

“please and thank you,” she watches you swat your hand back and forth to get rid of the water on your hand.

“you’re welcome,” you give her a toothy smile, slowly pulling up her nightgown and over her head. all she wore was underwear.

“do you need my help with those, or can you do it alone,” historia nods once more, continuing to stare at you—something that you’ve gotten used to.

historia can’t help but feel an immense amount of adoration for you. you take care of her, speak to her, and help her do mundane things. if it weren’t for you and the farmer who got her pregnant, she’d probably sit at home and rot in self despair.

she can’t remember the last time she’s seen her comrades, her friends. they’re off at marley, bringing back eren along with his brother. she misses them more than she can describe, but she’s never said anything about it to no one else but you. when she told you, you held her small, crying body in your warm arms. she feels safe whenever she’s with you, like you won’t judge her for all that she’s done.

you never touched on the fact that she’s a queen, you treated her as a friend. and it’s been a while since she’s felt as such. she felt content for the first time ever since eren’s disappearance.

she stands under the stream of the water, mind wondering what happened with her friends. they left her, not because they wanted to, but because they had to. eren left her, despite his constant reassurance that he wouldn’t try to go along with zeke’s plan. she doesn’t know his intent, she doesn’t want to.

without even realizing it, she lets out a small sob. her tears are mixing with the lukewarm water that’s covering her, and her small shoulders shake trying to hold in more sobs. she remembers that it’s only you in the house, so she lets go of her bottom lip that’s trapped between her teeth. she’s sobbing wantonly now, reaching up to cover her eyes as she slowly lowers herself to the floor. she assumes she must’ve knocked something down because you’re running into the bathroom and towards her.

when she looks up at you, she’s greeted with a sad smile. you crouch down, fully clothed, and hold her cheeks in your palms. her sobs are reduced to tears in a matter of minutes, and even if it’s just you, she still feels ashamed.

she watches you lather up shampoo in your hands, sitting on your bottom and scooting closer to her. you’re in your pajamas, which are now soaked, and reaching to her hair and covering her hair in the soap. the soap becomes bubbly at the contact of water, and she can’t help but crack a small smile at you tapping her nose with a bubbly finger. it leaves her with a huge bubble on her nose.

you rinse her of the shampoo, pouring some conditioner into your hands and running your fingers through her long tresses.

you rinse her off again and help her onto her feet, asking if she wanted to rub the soap all over herself on her own or if she needed help. she said she could do it, which she did quickly, and got out of the shower. you wrapped her in a towel, not bothering to turn off the water because you were probably going to get in next.

“alright, your clothes are on your bed. i’m going to take a quick shower and get out of these clothes—“

“no!,” it was the loudest you’d ever heard her speak.

“no..,” she softened her voice, “i don’t want to be alone right now.”

it felt like you were switching places with her since you just stared and nodded. historia wasn’t fully dried off along with her hair, so she could sit on the toilet with the towel still wrapped around her.

you peeled off your clothes, ignoring the loud ‘plop’ that followed along with the dropping of your cloths. she didn’t stare at you, instead she stared at her hands. she let the sound of your humming cleanse her mind, even if it was just for a moment.

————

your holding hands with historia as you guide her through the small plaza of the town. as the two of you were walking, she kept staring at the people she was passing by. happy couples that were seemingly on dates, rowdy and happy children running around, and teenagers talking to some of the merchants.

somehow, she thought of ymir as she stared at the couple with linked arms.

ymir wanted that life for the two of them. ymir wanted to live in a cottage, small house, wherever with historia. she wanted historia to be free, free to be her own person that wasn’t tied down by the government. ymir wanted the two of them to be married, she didn’t care where; as long as she was with historia.

historia didn’t realize she was crying and that she was in a trance until she felt your thumb wiping away her tears. your eyes stared into her own with your eyebrows bunched up in concern and a frown on your face. from what she saw in her peripheral view, the two of you were in a shaded alleyway.

you didn’t say anything just yet, continuing to scrub away her crystalline tears and her snot.

“it’s alright,” you whisper as you kiss her forehead, “she’s in a better place.”

somehow, you always knew what was wrong with her. she had once told you about ymir and what had happened to her, and you couldn’t help but feel pure sympathy as you listened.

she’s told you everything that she’s gone through and you can’t even imagine being that strong. you just apologized and told her that she was strong, even when she told you she didn’t feel like it.

“do you want to go back home? i had presumed that we could’ve enjoyed shopping for fruit together. i didn’t mean to give you any memories,” you’re so patient.

“what... what do you think ymir would’ve wanted for me,” she croaks out and brings her small hands to wrap around your wrist.

“from what i’ve heard about her, i think ymir would’ve wanted you to..,” you think for a moment, “be happy and be your own person. no matter the circumstances. to move on. to live.”

historia sniffles and nods, opting to rest her forehead against your sternum. you stroke her hair with your right hand and her back with your left.

“you have my love, historia,” you whisper to her after you’ve kissed the crown of her head.

“you have mine as well,” she whispers into your chest, “forever and always.”

————

a few months had passed since the incident in the plaza, and now historia and you were a couple. but it wasn’t as if you two got together immediately after, the two of you waited until last month to be together. when you’d reminded her of ymir’s wish, she found herself finally putting the ‘what could have been’ scenarios to rest. she continued to deal with the disappearance of both her friends and eren. she still continued to deal with nightmares, but found them becoming just a bit more tolerable whenever you were near.

now, you were making her lemonade as she sat out on the porch. you hum quietly as you’re picking up the tray of the cups and lemonade. as you walk towards the porch, you find yourself singing.

“historia, i made you some lemon... nade...?” you slowed your singing tune as you saw multiple soldiers standing on the porch in front historia in her rocking chair.

they all gaped at you, all but one female and one male solider. you felt your face get hot from embarrassment, immediately whipping your head to look at historia.

“should i make some more lemonade?”

a few minutes later and they all were sitting in your’s and historia’s living room while you handed out glasses of lemonade. historia sat in a rocking chair once more, hands placed on her protruding belly as she stares at you with a small smile.

when you were done, you sat down in separate rocking chair next to historia’s. you’d often sit in the living room together, idly talking with one another sometimes as you stared at the sun and children outside.

“um... so,” a solider, who you assume is growing hair, “who exactly are you?”

you smile, “i’m (name) (last name). i often take care of historia whenever she needs it. i’m also her lover.”

almost all of them dropped their jaws, heads turning to historia. she just waves her hand, a signal for you to explain.

“i met historia a little while ago. i’ve lived with her for a while as well. we’ve only gotten together since last month,” you explain, “now... who are you?”

a tall person stood up from their seat, a green bolo tie hanging from their neck, “i’m hanji zoe, commander of the scout regiment. this is historia’s old squad from when she was in the regiment as well. we... we came to tell her some news.”

“everyone introduce yourself please,” hanji turned towards the rest of their squad.

“levi,” a short man grumbles with his head in his hands.

“jean kirstein.”

“connie springer, nice to meet you.”

“i’m armin arlelt.”

“mikasa ackerman.”

you smile, “i’ve heard so much about you all!”

before they could all pester you about what historia said, historia spoke up with a glass in her hand.

“where’s sasha... she’s not here.”

silence flooded the area and you couldn’t help but get a bad feeling in your stomach. something was wrong.

“historia... sasha is..,” mikasa starts to speak up but is interrupted by the cracking of her own voice.

“eren killed sasha,” connie admitted.

there was a sound of glass breaking and then silence. historia’s eyes were wide and scared, she wanted someone to tell her they were just kidding.

but when you jumped to your feet to help her step over the glass, that’s when she knew it was real.

“i’m afraid i’m going to have to ask you to leave...,” your own voice is cracking, despite having no personal affairs to sasha.

after they’d left, she cried. cried into your chest and told you about her first interaction of sasha. she told you the potato story. the countless stories about their time they spent together with ymir.

neither of you slept that night.

————

historia sat at the dining table, watching you make dinner for the two of you. you were humming and telling her about your day—since the farmer spent most of the day with her—a huge grin spread across your face.

your eyes were shining as you walked towards her with her plate in your hands. you had on one of her shirts one, one she got when she started showing, and a long grey skirt. you’ve got brown boots on and they remind her of her cadet days for some reason. she pushes away the thought, knowing that she’d just end up in tears.

you look so... domestic. like a mother bringing her children food. a wife greeting her husband from work. it made her smile, a full smile, when you put her plate in front of her.

when she looks back up to you, she felt her stomach drop.

you had fat tears rolling down your face with your lips parted in surprise. your eyebrows were raised in bewilderment.

you’d never seen historia give anything more than a small smile. and even then, it didn’t last for long.

your lips curl up in a smile and you take ahold of her face with your palms. you give her a big kiss, ignoring the salty taste of your own tears mixing in. your smile stayed as you pulled away, tears continuing to fall from your eyes.

“your smile,” you give a breathy smile, “i’m glad to see you happy. ‘s all i ever wanted.”

your tears and smiles are infectious. her hands are holding your cheeks now and your foreheads are resting against each other’s. you share multiple kisses and giggles as you hold each other.

“love you, i love you,” you laugh even as your voice cracks inside your throat, “i love you, forever and always.”

“and i love you back, forever and always,” it’s the first time you’ve heard her laugh, first time since you’ve seen her smile, the first time her eyes were filled with light.

you ignore impending doom that hangs over your heads. you know you’re going to die and you know historia’s going to live. to live through the birth of her child and the birth of the rumbling.

and she’ll once again suffer through the death of the one she loves.

[dumbbitchenergy17]

New Life Pt. 2

You lived any normal life get up, go to school, head back home, and repeat. It was until your school had an interesting meeting with the one and only Tony Stark. Will meeting him be the best moment of your life or worst

Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader, future-Peter Parker x Reader

Words: 2688

Previously

“You got that equation down well not even college students solve it. So you got a name kid.” He smiled holding a hand out.

“Y/n. Y/n Y/L/N.” You shook his hand with a small smile. Tony freezes for a second looking you up and down studying you making you slightly nervous.

“Nice to meet you but this might be weird but I just might be your dad.”

You laughed and not a chuckle a full-blown laugh leaning against your knees trying to catch your breath.

“Oh god. That’s good.” You stand straight wiping the tears looking at Tony still staring with no smile on his face. You look at Ned and Peter and they both have their jaws dropped

“Oh shit you’re serious.” You said. Tony nods shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Yeah this is really weird, soo I’m just gonna go.” You point behind you and being to walk backwards.

“Wait,” Tony grabs your arm making you look back at him

“Look Mr. Stark this is just some huge coincidence and I would know if my dad the Tony Stark.” You try to ease the blow. Right before Tony try to respond

“Y/n!” Harry calls out making you look back to see him and Principal Mortia, “Your principal called really on your first day of scho-” Harry beginning to reprimand you when he sees who is still holding onto your arm he freezes and looks at Tony then back at you.

“Harry?” Tony askes in recognition.

“Mr. Mortia I’m sorry but Y/n will not be attending Midtown anymore,” Harry says and everyone freezes and your heart drops.

“What!” You, Peter, and Tony yell at the same time.

“Sir please think about this. Y/n is a bright student with a gifted mind and will excel greatly here..” Your principal tries to change his mind.

“Harry what are you doing.” You try to get him to realize what he is doing.

“Y/n we’re leaving.” Harry comes over and grabs your arm and begins to drag you out.

“Harry just stop.” You push away from him, “I like this school. I feel normal here and not the freak that knows too much.”

“We are not discussing this not let’s go.” Harry ended the conversation.

“She got a bright mind think this through, Harry.” Tony tried putting his opinion 

“Stay out of this Stark.” He hissed back going back to grab your arm but you pulled back.

“Do you too know each other?” You asked looking at Tony and Harry.

“He was best friends with my ex-wife,” Tony said you look between him and Harry. You knew that Harry was best friends with your mom before she left.

“I think we should take this somewhere private.” Principal Mortia tried ushering the group to somewhere more private as a crowd was forming.

“What was her name.” You said over everyone arguing with each other. Tony look at Harry then looked at you

“Y/M/N.” He said making you suck in a breathe tears building up.

“Kid come on let’s go talk about this somewhere else.” Harry tried to guide you out of the crowded hallway.

“Did you know.” You deadpanned still looking at your shoes.

“Kid you know that I would-” He tried to defend himself.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. Did. You. Know.” You hissed out looking at him Harry looked down ashamed 

“Yes.” You let out a laugh at how he felt guilty.

“How could you.” You whimpered a tear slipping down your face and you turned to look at Tony who looked equally upset.

“And you. How could you not try to look.” You shook your head wiping your face 

“Y/n let’s just-” Harry tried to talk

“Just! Don’t” You lifted your arms up trying to put distance from them “just don’t” You grab your bag and rush through the crowd until you hit the door that leads to outside.

“Y/N!” they yell after you. The cold air hits your face causing pins and needles to appear as you make your way further away from the school towards the subway. 

“Y/N Stop!” You turn and see both Tony and Harry standing there Peter and Ned behind them. You weave through the bystanders as you hear footsteps after you. As you enter the subway you make your way to the turnstile and try to get your metro card to work but won’t pick up the scan 

“Y/n..” You hear your voice

“Come on. Come on. Come on.” You catch the attention of an elderly lady

“Here dear those things always are trouble-some.” She swipes her card and it lights up green.

“Thank you so much, ma’am.” You rush through the turnstile and rush down the stairs to the platform not even caring where the subway takes you. You just needed space from all this. You see a subway at the end of the platform boarding right as you hear your name beginning called.

“Y/n. Come on stop.” Harry yells. You run as fast as you can to get to the subway right as you are about to board an arm grabs you and rips you away from the doors, people still entering and exiting.

“Y/n, Don’t do this let’s talk.” Tony tries to reason with you.

“Talk, You had 16 years for you to talk, so just stay away from me.” You pulled your arm away from him watching his face fall. You enter the subway and the doors close right as Harry catches up and you both stare at each other as it moves and you are gone. You walk over to an empty seat, you lean your head back trying to keep your tears at bay.

You couldn’t remember where this subway was leading you to, but after almost an hour it stopped and most people got off. Walking out of the station and ended up on the street you looked at your phone and saw you were in Lenox Hill which was pretty far from home. You felt your phone buzz and saw multiple text messages and missed calls some from Harry and some from Peter.

9 missed calls from Harry Murphy

3 missed calls from Peter Parker

‘I’m sorry Y/n I should have told you please come home so we can talk.’ -Harry 

‘Please come home I don’t know where you are’ -Harry 

‘Please be safe wherever you are’ -Harry

The messages were all the same and you read one from Peter

‘Hey Y/n I know this might be so crazy and everything but please be safe, you’ve been gone for a while and know I’m here for you’ -Peter

You shoved your phone in your pocket and began wandering around the city just going where your feet took you. Before you even realized you had ended up in Midtown Manhattan the defining feature was Stark tower maybe 5 blocks away from where you are. You sigh going to turn away and just head home when thoughts about why you never met Tony or what really happened.

“Damnit just turn around and go home you’re only causing more pain for yourself.” You mumbled trying to force yourself to go home and forget it all ever happened. But you somehow ended up right in the lobby of the Tower workers and people made their way around the room with purpose, while you just look like a lost kid.

“You go up and ask if anything you get kicked out and look like a fool.” You hyped yourself up, you took a deep breath, stood up straight, and walk to the front desk where a woman sat typing away at her computer. When you go closer she looked up and gave you a smile

“Hi, do you have an appointment today.” She asked pulling up a calendar. You shook your head and immediately got nervous and ran a hand through your hair. 

“Um...No, but I need to talk to Mr. Stark.” You said trying to seem as sure of yourself.

“I’m sorry but if you don’t have an appointment you can’t go.” She gave you a pity smile You nodded and began walking away before you turned back

“Can I give you a message.” You asked and she nodded. “Um tell him I’m sorry and I want to know more about my family.” The woman nodded typing it into her computer

“Thank you.” You gave her a smile and fixed your bag and made your way towards the door, right before you got outside.

You heard rustling “Miss! Excuse me!” you turned around to see the woman from the desk rush over to you. “I don’t know how but Mr. Stark would like to see you.” She said leading you towards the elevators. You nod as she presses one of the buttons and the doors begin to close when a hand pops in and they open again and it’s Steve Rogers.

“You’re Captain America.” You said in awe looking at the Avengers standing right next to you.

“Yeah, but Steve is fine, uh what floor.” He pointed to the array of buttons you pointed back towards the lobby

“I think the lady already pressed it.” Steve nodded

“Friday, to the common rooms.” He asked,

“Right away Captain Rogers.” A voice called out making you jump and Steve cracked out a smile.

“So what brings you to the tower.” He asked leaning against the wall watching the lights flash as you hit a floor.

“Um.. I have a meeting-thing with Mr. Stark.” You said running your hand through your hair nervous about what to disclose or not.

“You one of the Tony new prodigy kids he claims.” He jokes but you freeze at the thought of him having other ‘kids’ even though he did have one.

“Um not exactly.” You wrung your hands together feeling your hands get clammy. 

Before Steve could respond the doors open up and you see most of the Avengers just sit around. Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes were playing some kind of game, while Natasha Romanoff sat next to Clint Barton who was drinking something while having a conversation, and Wanda Maximoff sat on the floor talking to Vision. But they all froze when they saw you standing there with Steve. 

“Hey Cap, who’s the kid.” Sam called out causing more eyes to move to you and you could feel your hands shake nervous to be under the gaze of many heroes. “She here to see Tony.” He responded making Natasha chuckle “Another kid for him to claim.” Your breath hitched hearing that same word ‘kid’ were you his kid or just some random stranger who is just in the wrong situation. Before anyone else could talk Tony walked in and both of you stared at each other.

“Hi.” Tony breathes out scanning over you trying to take as much detail in as possible.

“Are you my dad?” You asked causing someone to choke on their drink

“I’m sorry I must be deafer than I thought. Did she said, dad?” Clint said making Natasha smack him in the arm.

“Well- I... I mean the logistics of it being.” Tony stuttered waving his hands but you cut him off

“Just a yes or no. Are you my father?” You stated your voice shaking trying to keep the tears at bay

“Yes, I think, god I hope.” Tony breathed out trying to smile. You nodded walking up to him and he opened his arms expecting a hug but a loud smack made everyone’s jaw drop. You slapped his square in the face so hard that even your hand hurt.

“Sixteen years,” You said as he pressed his hand against his cheek not even looking you in the eyes. “You had sixteen years to contact or I don’t know at least try to look.” You hissed clenching your fist up trying to get it to stop shaking. “Did you even try were you relieved that I was gone.” You cried

“Of course not..” Tony tried to console you

“Then why didn’t you try..” You whimpered a tear slipping down his face a hand touched your shoulder making you jump and you saw it was Steve.

“I think we all need a minute to just calm down and then we can sit and talk ok…” You and Tony both nodded. “Natasha can you stay with-” Steve started and was cut off

“I got it, Steve.“ Natasha stood up and wrapped an arm around you and began to lead you out and Wanda got up and followed you two and the rest of the men stated in the common room. You ended up in the kitchen and you sat at the island with Wanda next to you, while Natasha went to grab you water. “Here..” She stretched not knowing your name

“Y/n.” You thanked her grabbing the glass and taking a sip.

“So this must be a lot right now so just take your time.” Wanda rubbed her hand up and down your back calming you as you drank most of the water. You placed the glass onto the island and rubbed your eyes ridding the tears from your face. 

“I never knew my dad that well just vague memories. All my life I thought there had to be some reason he wasn’t here, but there he was a fucking train ride from me.” You sniffled. Natasha nodded and Wanda grabbed your hand giving it a squeeze.

“Tony must have had a reason for this.” Wanda tried to console you

“Miss Romanoff, Captain Rogers would like you and your company to come to the common lounge.” Friday’s voice rang out

“Thanks Friday.” Natasha responded as she stood up, “You ready kid.” You nodded grabbing your bag and you three made your way back to the common room. When you got here most of the avengers had left giving you privacy, sitting on one of the couches was James Rhodes and Tony, with Steve standing in the middle.

“Can you stay.” You looked at Natasha when you felt her pull away. She nodded and Wanda gave you a brief hug before leaving you too to sit on the other couch.

“Uh, Bruce is gonna come and take some of your DNA for a parental test.” Steve explained and you nodded feeling eyes on you. Tony just stared at you his eyes red hair all messed up probably from running his hands through it a lot. Dr. Banner walked in with a kit and a computer as well.

“Hi, Y/n I just need to swab you.” He gave you a smile and you nodded letting him swab you and then he went over to Tony and swabbed him as well. “This should take about five to ten minutes.” Bruce walked over to one of the tables and started plugging stuff into the computer. You all just sat there in silence neither you nor Tony was looking at each other making things more awkward before Steve cut the tension by talking

“So Y/n where do you live?” Steve tried to start small talk

“Queens.” You mumbled and he nodded knowing he wasn’t making the situation any less awkward.

“You must be really smart to go to Midtown.” Steve added making you look up and then at Tony. He probably talked about you while you were in the kitchen 

“Not anymore.” You remember you don’t go there any more thanks to Harry. Before anyone could talk Bruce walked back

“Uh the result is in.” he said making both you and Tony look at each other. “Friday.” Bruce called out to.

“The results from a Miss Y/n show a 49.3 percent relation to Mr. Stark and a 50.7 percent relation to Mrs. Y/l/n.” You could feel eyes on you as you stared at your hands.

“Wha-What happened to my mom.” You asked trying to focus your breathing looking up at Tony as looked back at you. Tony looked back down

“I-I don’t know.”

[dirt-cup-draco]

Bucky x Reader- Fill My Cup

- Hi I saw your post about the love language and was wondering if you could write one with Bucky Barnes with the love language physical touch and -Bucky with quality time/physical touch for @hommoturttle

Loving Bucky Barnes was an uphill battle. Sometime he carried you and sometimes he was the one to lean on you and let you take him the extra mile he didn’t think himself capable of. You were starting to stumble and slide down the hill though and Bucky wasn’t able to catch you before you started to close yourself off. He couldn’t, not when he was in some far away location he couldn’t disclose to you. 

You had gone into your relationship knowing he would be aiding the avengers and fighting for good alongside his best friend Steve but you couldn’t help but miss him every second he was gone. And it had been three weeks. You knew his homecoming was due soon but you couldn’t help but feel a bit hollow in your chest. You caught yourself wondering late at night when the bed was too cold and your cup had been emptied from a rough day if it was worth it. 

The second the traitorous thought had entered your mind you swept away, guilt burning hot and quick in your veins. Of course it was worth it, you loved Bucky more than you’d loved anyone and you knew even a minute with him was worth three weeks apart. Yet in your loneliness you craved for time together. 

You felt most loved, and felt like you could give the most love, by being near to Bucky, by him wanting to be near you. You adored quality time spent with the winter soldier and he felt most loved by your delicate touches and the way you reached out to hold his hand just because. You loved the surprise dates late at night after work and he loved the way you’d brush his hair every morning while he brushed his teeth just because he didn’t have the patience for the tangles.

So the weeks apart had started to drag on you more than you had thought. You sat curled up in your room, comforter up tight around your shoulders and you inhaled deeply. You and Bucky had lived together too long for you to smell him on your pillows. You had both made it your shared space and so your bed was a mix of your perfume and his coconut shampoo, it meddled together and became something all its own. 

It gave you some peace of mind but you knew you wouldn’t truly feel like yourself until Bucky was home. You hoped, and knew, he would be filling similarly but you couldn’t help but berate yourself for being needy. Bucky had never made you feel ashamed for the amount of time you wanted to spend with him, had never found it suffocating or odd, yet you feared one day it would become too much for him. 

Groaning as your thoughts became tangled you reached over to your bedside table and pulled out the most recent letter from Bucky. He left one for you to read every time he went on a long mission and it was as if he knew just what you needed to hear each time to get you through the last couple days, hours, minutes, without him. 

I miss you more than you know. I’ll be home quicker than you realize. I can’t wait to just sit on the couch with you and not give a damn about the rest of the world for a couple days. Take care of yourself doll. Love, Buck. 

He didn’t need too many words to soothe your aching heart and you pressed  tender kiss to the already warn paper. You could speak the words easily now with no reference as you’d read it at least once a day since he left. Smiling brighter than you had all day you let your eyelids grow heavy and close. By the time you woke, Bucky would be home. 

Dreams flashed through your mind in quick succession, one shifting and changing into another and leaving your mind feeling muddled as you woke up trying to remember all of your dreams and not even being able to hold onto a scrap of one as the scrambled away from your efforts to remember. In your grogginess you’d nearly forgotten the main reason for your nap. You hadn’t been tired, you had just wanted the hours of the day to float over you instead of teasing and mocking. 

It was the rattling of the doorknob that brought you fully to the present, sleepiness no longer fogging up your brain. You jolted out of bed and ran to the door, a grin so wide your cheeks hurt stretching your features with bliss. You tugged on the doorknob at the same time your true love pushed on the door. It swung wide open and you stumbled back one small step but Bucky was as alert as ever and in half a moment his arm was around you pulling you against his chest and keeping you upright from your too eager tug on the door. 

Your heart thumped and then skipped a beat and then preformed an irish jig as you let Bucky’s comforting presence wash over you. You felt as if you weren’t close enough and he seemed to have the same thought as his hands found the backs of your thighs. He hoisted you up and you leaned back just enough so that you could study his face. 

“Forget what I look like already?” He teased, hands squeezing your thighs as you giggled, brushing your nose against his. Bucky grumbled softly as your lips missed contact with his. 

“Missed you,” Was all you could get out before he was kissing you fervently, like he never had and never would again. His own grin interrupted the kiss but he wasn’t ready yet to set you down and you seemed just as happy in his arms as your legs tightened around his waist. 

“Missed you too, everything okay?” Bucky had to ask, seeing that familiar loneliness in your eyes. It was what had first drawn him to you and he saw the forlorn look far less in the years you had been together but it reappeared every time he went away. 

“Mhmm,” You promised, lips feather soft against his forehead in reassurance. 

“Cup full now?” Bucky pressed once more, using a phrase you often used with him to show you were both fulfilled in the relationship. 

“Never empty when I’m with you,” 

“That’s my girl,” Bucky grinned carrying you to the couch in your too large room that Stark provided. The tv already had something playing but the white noise was silenced by your giggle as Bucky slumped onto the couch, you trapped carefully beneath him. 

You spent the rest of that night and well into the next day with Bucky never straying far and it was if the past three weeks had disappeared. Your cups had finally filled after running on low and you couldn’t be happier. 

[booksarelife-stuff]

The Story of Us-Chapter 1

Jily (James Potter/ Lily Evans), minor wolfstar

Word Count: 1366

Modern Muggle AU. When Lily Evans meets the man across the hall due to a fire alarm, she has no idea that a new chapter of her life has begun. Featuring a librarian Lily and sports journalist James. 

Masterlist   Read on AO3  Chapter 2

Chapter 1- I was enchanted to meet you. 

Of course, the fire alarm would go off right as Lily was getting her bath ready. Lily cursed but was grateful that she hadn’t yet stripped down. 

She grabbed her keys and phone and slipped on shoes before heading out the door. She almost went to the elevator before she remembered that one had to take the stairs in case of emergency. 

She didn’t see anyone until she got to the third floor. Most days, she was thankful to have the top floor of her apartment building, but this was one of those times where she wasn’t so pleased. 

Lily was surprised by the number of people who filled the parking lot. She didn’t think the building was that big. She knew that they needed to stand back, so she went to her assigned parking space. She heard fire engines in the distance and for the first time, Lily wondered if there was an actual fire. The alarm in her apartment went off every time she popped some popcorn. 

She leaned against her car, the same old Toyota that she had bought right before uni, and opened her phone. She wished she had brought the book she had planned to read in her bath, but settled on mindlessly scrolling through social media, thankful that September hadn’t brought in cold weather, as she was wearing a t shirt and shorts.

She was seeing which former classmate had gotten engaged this week when she glanced up and saw a man holding a large, fluffy ginger cat. 

The man was handsome, a mop of curls on his head and thick black glasses. He was tall and had nice arms, judging by the way his t-shirt hugged his arms. 

He walked to the car besides Lily, meaning that he must be her neighbor, as the parking assignments were done by apartment number. The man unlocked his the door to a newer looking Volvo and gently sat his cat down in the backseat. 

“What’s your cat name?” Lily asked, as he closed the door. The man turned and smirked. 

“Buttercream,” he replied. Lily smiled and laughed a little. The man had a little bit of a Scottish accent as he talked. 

“That’s an interesting name for a cat,” she said. 

“He was named at the shelter. I didn’t have the heart to change it,” he replied. He leaned against the side of the car. Buttercream peaked up from the window beside him, wondering why his owner put him in the car. The man ran a hand through his hair. “So, we must be neighbors.”

“Seems like it. When did you move in?” Lily asked. “Last I checked an old man named Sal lived across from me.”

“I moved in about two weeks ago,” he replied. 

“Nice.”

It was quiet for a second. Lily turned and faced forward to see the fire truck arriving, it’s flashing lights blinding her a bit before they turned off. She wondered what happened to Sal for a minute.

“I’m James, by the way,” the man said. Lily turned back towards him, Sal forgotten.

“I’m Lily. Pleasure to meet you,” she said, flashing a polite smile. 

“How long have you lived here?” James asked, putting his hands in his pocket of his sweatpants.

“About a year now,” Lily said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I moved here when I graduated uni.”

“Oh nice. I just graduated,” James said. “Would have been sooner but I had to take some time off.”

“What did you study?” 

“Sports Journalism and Broadcasting.”

Lily hummed. “And you landed a job here? I didn’t think we had any professional Sports teams here.”

The man tsked. 

“That’s where you would be wrong,” he said. “Our lovely town has a professional bowling team.”

Lily couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. 

“Do we really?” she asked. James nodded, a bright smile on his face. 

“We do. The Cannons,” he said. “Practice every Thursday at the Hog’s Head Bowling Alley.”

Lily giggled a little more. 

“So where do you work?” she asked. 

“The Prophet. I cover all secondary schools sports and the Bowling team,” James said. She liked that he seemed thrilled that that was his job. “What about you, Lily?”

“I’m a librarian,” she replied. “Actually at the branch just down the street from the Prophet offices.”

“Oh that sounds interesting,” James said. Lily was pleased to see that he looked like he actually meant it. Most people had one of two reactions when Lily disclosed her profession. The “that sounds boring” and the “why that?”. 

“Did you go to uni for that?” he asked. 

“Yeah. I’m working on a post grad degree now,” she said. “I want to run the whole library someday, you know?”

James hummed and looked thoughtful for a second. 

“You know,” he began. “I never thought that you needed a degree to be a librarian.”

“Not a lot of people do,” she replied. She looked from James to the window of his car, where Buttercream was swatting at the window. She smiled a bit. 

Silence fell again and Lily felt the need to say something. 

“So, where are you from?” she asked.

“Scotland. Elgin to be exact,” he replied. “It’s near the Loch Ness.”

“And Inverness,” Lily supplied. Outlander was a guilty pleasure of hers so she was quite familiar with the fictional version of that area.

James cocked his head to the side. 

“I think you’re the first Brit I’ve ever met that knew that,” he said. Lily laughed. 

“I could tell you why, but I think you’d laugh at me,” she said. “I would expect you to have a thicker accent than you have though.”

James sighed. “Unfortunately, I spent way too much time at a British Boarding school.”

“Probably so posh they didn’t like the Scots much?” Lily asked. 

“Yep. Tried to beat it out of me but it still lingers,” he said. “I can’t speak a lick of Gaelic though.”

“Neither can I,” she said. She felt smug as James laughed. 

“So, care to tell me why you’re so familiar with the Scottish Highlands?” he asked, crossing his arms. 

Lily looked away. 

“I said you’ll probably laugh at me for it,” she repeated. 

“I promise I won’t.”

Lily thought for a second. She normally wasn’t ashamed of her love for the smutty books, normally defended them to critics who say they aren’t real literature, but she reserved from actually saying anything. Maybe because she never had to talk about the books with a Scottish person before. 

“The series, Outlander,” she said. She looked back at James, whose expression hadn’t changed.

“I’ve never heard of it,” he said. 

“It’s a book series,” she supplied. “There’s also a television show.”

“Hmm. I’ll guess I’ll have to look into it. It may make me homesick though.”

The firemen started leaving and the others in the parking lot started heading back towards the building. 

“Well, I guess that’s the all clear,” James said. 

Lily waited for him to retrieve Buttercream, who let out a large meow as James scooped him up. He held Buttercream close to his chest. 

“So, where are you from?” James asked as they started walking. 

“Cokeworth,” she replied. 

“I can’t say I know where that is,” James asked. 

“I wouldn’t expect you too,” she replied. “It’s just a small town North of London. Dead in the middle of England.”

James nodded and they walked back in. Buttercream wasn’t a fan of being jostled up the stairs, as he meowed so loud it echoed through the stairs, causing Lily to laugh. 

“So Lily, I’ll guess I’ll be seeing you around, then?” James asked as they neared their doors. He ran a hand through his hair, making it even more unruly than it had been. 

“Of course,” she said. He smiled and grabbed his keys out of his pocket. 

Lily told him to have a nice evening before she unlocked her door and went to her apartment. She went to go drain her cold bathwater and decided a shower would have to do. 

Later, she went to grab the book she had intended on reading in the tub, but stopped short. She grabbed her copy of Outlander instead. 

[kpop-zone]

Dating JiU & Yoohyeon

A/N: I feel like I suck at writing headcanons, so I’m sorry if this is bad. It’s nothing personal, I love my soft girlfriends :D

Unrelated note: Can anyone else not stop watching Dreamcatcher’s Abracadabra dance cover??

Relationship

Not my GIF, credits to whoever made it

Having a polygamous relationship had never really been weird to either of them

They had found out pretty casually that they were both into you

All of you started out as friends

But one night due to the influence of some alcohol, Yoohyeon and Minji ended up gushing over you for hours

And they realized that they were both in love with you

For a second, they stared at each other helplessly

But then Yoohyeon plucked up all her courage, deciding to tell Minji the complete truth

“Um...you know, Y/N is actually not the only one that I like.”

 She mumbled eventually and confessed her feelings to Minji

Who was super relieved to know that she hadn’t just imagined the spark between the two of them

After all feelings had been disclosed, it was clear to them how to handle this situation

It would either be all of you, or no one

Yoohyeon was pretty confident though

In her mind, the three of you were already dating

Minji, on the other hand was a little more anxious

She was scared that you would resent them for their desire

Yoohyeon needed to give her a lot of reassurance until both of them were ready to confess to you

When they confessed eventually, they were a little nervous

So they were all giggly and needed a while to get their confession straight

But then their words were really sincere and heartfelt

You simply couldn’t turn them down

So the three of you hit it off

Due to already being friends for a while, there was no timid getting-to-know each other phase in your relationship

All of you knew about the quirks and weaknesses of each other

But also about the assets

From the moment you started dating the two of them, you could call yourself the master of having it all

Because your girlfriends have everything that you could ask for

They are beautiful, sweet, talented, hot, smart, funny, a little bit crazy...

More often than not, you find yourself contemplating how you had even managed to not only woo one but TWO goddesses

Minji is usually the mature and caring one in your relationship

She loves to take care of Yoohyeon and you

She has a particular soft spot for you though

While all of you like to tease each other

She is never too ruthless with you

Much to the dismay of Yoohyeon who is always defenseless against your alliance

Another manifestation of Minji’s soft spot for you is the way she spoils you

She always tells Yoohyeon to just buy herself some food on the way back home after a long day at work

When you complain about feeling hungry though, she doesn’t shy back from whipping out her cooking skills

Of course, Yoohyeon gets pouty in light of this preferential treatment of yours

But Minji always tells her that you were simply more deserving of sweet gestures

 Because you like to spoil your girls too

It’s the little things that make Minji happy

A note on her nightstand, remembering her coffee order, surprising her with lunch at work...

She doesn’t make big demands, but she always rewards you with an expression on her face that could make you believe that you had just bought her the sun

Yoohyeon, on the other hand, is interested in everything that is unusual

So you sometimes buy her stuff that might be a little weird to others

But you know that she loves it

Once you bought her an old film camera that belonged to a German woman a few decades back

After developing the film, she got super into German culture

And even started to learn German

Minji and you are always really impressed because Yoohyeon is just so smart

While being a clumsy, helpless baby simultaneously

But that is just one of the many reasons why the two of you love her

Yoohyeon is also the one who keeps the energy level of your relationship up at all times

She never sits still and always has a thousand ideas for not so cute dates

Sometimes her dates are a complete success even though they are unusual

For example, when she took you to an abandoned amusement park

And you had a photoshoot and a cute picknick together

But once, she dragged you to a “cool magic show”

Only for you to end up at a weird cult meeting

Nevertheless, Minji and you seldomly say no to her suggestions

Both of you know that Yoohyeon means well

She just loves the two of you so much and wouldn’t mind spending every living minute of hers with you

 Which is why she always wants to convince you to accompany them on their tours

Neither her nor Minji consider their relationship complete when you are not with them

 Therefore, you receive a lot of text messages and cute videos when they leave you behind

Yoohyeon never hides how much she misses you

Minji, on the other hand, usually gets really quiet when the separation is getting too hard for her

Until her feelings eventually get the better of her and she needs your comfort

Both of them always make sure that you know that the two of them are incomplete without you

Therefore, jealousy plays absolutely no role in your relationship

You are really honest with each other and your feelings are always fully disclosed

There’s not one duo that has a stronger bond than the others

You are all equally connected by love

And neither of you can stand it when you are apart

That’s why you always savor the times that you are together to the fullest

Therefore, your love is also very obvious to see for everyone else

Yoohyeon is the one who’s least afraid to show your relationship publicly

Not that she would be able to keep her hands to herself anyways

She’s the one that gets the angriest whenever strangers look at you derogatory

Minji on the other hand is a little more careful

Not necessarily because she’s ashamed of your relationship

But because she often wants to seem like a mature and well-mannered adult in public

So she keeps the PDA at a bare minimum

Eventually, however, her façade always ends up crumbling

And her goofy, clingy self comes to light

She’s just a sucker for soft touches

So she will gently run her fingertips up and down your arms, put her hands on your thighs or simply intertwine your fingers

But she is not only in charge of the soft aspects in your relationship

She also has a wild and slightly crazy side to her

And it’s the times when she chooses to show it that the three of you have the most fun

You can be so LOUD and reckless when no one is there to tame you

Especially because you are so comfortable around each other

Shyness is not a word in your vocabulary

All of you know that you can share your weirdest thoughts with each other

There is no judgement in your relationship

Therefore, you feel completely comfortable when you are around your girlfriends

No matter whether you are cute or crazy together, you know that you are safe in the presence of each other

Your relationship is just filled with love, laughter and trust

And you couldn’t imagine ever living without either of your girlfriends anymore

NSFW

Not my GIF, credits to whoever made it

Queens of duality

Your sex is either cute and giggly

Or hot and kinky

That completely depends on your girlfriends’ moods

When they return from a tight schedule, they are usually beat for a few days

Which doesn’t change anything about their high sex drive though

Physical touch is a very important part of your relationship

So they are always very touch starved when they come back home

Which leads to some intense cuddle sessions that always turn to something more

They love to put you in the center of attention

Because both of them feel sorry for leaving you behind

They try to make it up to you by whispering sweets nothings into your ear while caressing your whole body

The mood is never too sensual though

Because one of you will end up saying something funny

But no one is really bothered by that

You love to laugh together in intimate moments like that

And neither of you is a fan of monotony anyways, so you like that not a single night is ever like the other

One thing that is for sure though is that you are in for a long time

Both, Minji and Yoohyeon, like to take their time with you

And they are a well attuned team

They know every single weak spot on your body and how to work it

While one pays attention to one of them, the other takes care of another

Generally, you enjoy really slow and vanilla sex after they return from an exhausting schedule

That changes though when their energy levels are up again

Sex during those times is a lot rougher and also a little chaotic

Because there is no clear distribution of roles

It’s always a surprise who will take control

Yoohyeon can be a bratty bottom

She loves to test her limits and to get put into her place

But she also loves to take control, especially because she is usually the one who suggest trying new things

Minji can be somewhat of a pillow princess when she’s in the mood

But neither Yoohyeon nor you mind

Because Minji is usually the one taking care of the two of you on a daily basis, you like to take your sweet time with her in bed to repay her

But when her wild side is activated, she won’t let Yoohyeon nor you take control

She likes to give orders and won’t accept anything less than complete obedience

Might have a mommy kink too

Both, Yoohyeon and Minji, can be big teases

It gives them a lot of pleasure to see you getting frustrated

Although neither of them ever takes it too far

That also applies to toys, BDSM and other kinks

While neither of them shies back from getting a little experimental in bed (as long as everyone is ok with it, you don’t really have boundaries)

They don’t enjoy seeing either of you hurt or too frustrated

And while they love to leave their marks (especially on you), it’s usually only hickeys and maybe a few light scratches, nothing more

After all of you have tired each other out to your satisfaction, you always end up in an intertwined ball of limbs

Because soft cuddles and pillow talks are a must

Even if all of you are already half-asleep, you will mumble trivial things until all of you drift off into a deep slumber

You’re just a bunch of softies with a wild side