#I’m literally obsessed with Oscar I love him so much <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[shy-sapphic-ace]

Fellas is it gay to tell a man you believe he’s your purpose and that you were put on this earth to guide him??

[afterglowsainz]

so it goes… | carlos sainz

summary: carlos has the biggest crush on the famous up and coming actress but she doesn’t know who he is

fc: anya taylor-joy

warnings: this is my first smau so plsss tell me what you think <3 i made it a bit long cause i’m use to write detailed stories but is worth it i swear!! also english is not my first language so there might be mistakes

liked by carlossainz55, bffusername and others

ynusername life lately 🧚🏼‍♀️

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user1 she’s so pretty ughhh

user2 y/n please give me just once chance i’m beggin

user3 simping respectfully

carlossainz55 que linda! (so pretty!)

user4 hello??

user5 ariana what are you doing here 😭

bffusername literally my wife 😮‍💨

ynusername me and you forever 🤭

user6 mother

liked by bffusername, charlesleclerc and others

carlossainz55 great weekend all in all 🏆 podium and good points for the team, ready for the next! 🔜

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user4 let’s gooo smooth operator‼️

user7 forza ferrari 🐎

charlesleclerc great job! double podium next race 👊🏼

user8 brilliant drive carlos!!

user9 VAMOOOOS (let’s go)

user5 okay we see y/n’s best friend in the likes 👀

user10 i think she’s a ferrari fan!

landonorris congrats on the podium or whatever 🙄

likes by carlossainz55, landonorris and others

ynusername emma is now on streaming platforms !!! go watch it 🫶🏽

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user1 and they call her the it girl !!!

user2 favorite movie of the year 💞

user3 y/n y/l/n future oscar winner‼️

bffusername GO WATCH MY WIFE’S MOVIE OR ELSE

ynusername you heard her!

carlossainz55 loved the movie!

user4 okay but are we believing he actually saw a romantic period piece or?? 🤨

user5 idk why i kinda believe it solely on the fact that he’s obsessed with y/n 😭

user6 i don’t see the appeal, she’s not all that :/

user4 now i know you did NOT just said that about THE Y/N Y/L/N

user7 y/n drop another movie i’ve already seen this one a thousand times :( (liked by carlossainz55)

likes by charlesleclerc, carlossainz55 and others

ynusername italian nights 🧿

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bffusername my girlfriend the prettiest of prettiest 🥰

user1 picture at a church and partying with måneskin? ohhh she’s cool cool

user2 carlos i understand you completely

carlossainz55 beautiful!

ynusername thank you! 💕

user3 omg did she actually??

user4 somebody make sure carlos is still alive and breathing pls

user5 finally! my boy has been in the trenches for monthsss

landonorris 👀

user6 now lando what do you know??

(ynusername has started following carlossainz55)

likes by ynusername, scuderiaferrari and others

carlossainz55 summer break 🏁

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user1 well hello there

user2 weird way to ask me to marry you but ofc🤭

user3 not carlos immediately posting a thirst trap after yn followed him 😭

user4 thirst trap seems a bit much…

user3 him just casually posting the most earth shattering hottest pictures out of nowhere??

user4 okay you may have a point

user5 post a warning or something next time jesus

user6 I AM ON MY KNEES PLEASE

user7 dinner would be served, house would be cleaned, kids on bed, anything he wants

ynusername 🥰 (liked by carlossainz55)

carlossainz55 🫶🏽

user8 girl me too

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername beautiful beautiful madrid 🤍

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user1 omg you’re in my city!!!

user2 someone send this to carlos quick!

user3 you’re so beautiful 😻

user4 carlossainz55 my guy this is your chance

user5 you’re STUNNING 🤩

carlossainz55 i need to show you all the nice places🫶🏽 (liked by yourusername)

yourusername omg please!! i need a local tour guide

carlossainz55 😊

user6 omg is this the beginning of something???

user7 i’m shipping them already 🤭

user8 someone check on carlos please‼️

[child0feden]

LOVELY VOICE

lando norris x voice actress! reader

faceclaim: assorted

୨୧ i know pride month has just passed but let me be! the timing for all of the games is completely wrong but once again, it’s fanfic, just let me be… i’m really just sticking with this short and sweet formula, i like short and sweet things, i no longer care about trying to stretch them to be as long as possible because longer ≠ better

reading music recommendations: in the flood by ariana gillis - blood upon the snow by hozier

ynln: had an incredible time at the game awards last night! met so many amazing people, the event had a great energy and oh! i won best voice actress for my role as aloy in horizon forbidden west! holy shit! thank you so much to everyone who voted for me and congratulations to the other winners ♥️

landonorris ✔️: there goes my girl!

❤️ liked by ynln

landonorris✔️: so so so proud of you love, your awards outshine mine ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln

> ynln ✔️: thank you lan but don’t make me laugh <3

> landonorris ✔️: what? i’m telling the truth

ynlovevoice: DESERVED! your voice acting in this game in particular was insane

lewishamilton ✔️: congratulations yn! was watching the event, your speech was great ❤️ here’s to many more wins, i’m sure! 🥂

❤️ liked by ynln and landonorris

> ynln ✔️: thanks lewis! means a lot coming from you ♥️

loveuyn: oh my god her and lando looked so good 🫣

> lanyn: hottest couple there and they knew it

oldf1lvr: when the camera panned over to her after she won, you could literally see lando cheering SO loud right in her ear 😭

> lanyn: i hope her hearing is okay lmao

> seyloy1: he was hyping his girl UP 💔 he had a facebook mom moment with his phone too, taking pictures of her on stage when there was literally like 10 professional cameras doing it for him 😭

oscarpiastri ✔️: you both looked terrible, truly… congratulations on the win yn!

> landonorris ✔️: i know you’re jealous oscar but there’s no reason to lie, is there?

❤️ liked by ynln

> ynln ✔️: because i’m feeling nice tonight, i’ll just ignore that first part! thank you oscar…

ynln: behind the scenes of my upcoming game, judas! i’ll be voicing a very different character to my usuals so stay tuned 👀

loveuyn: ANOTHER YN VOICED CHARACTER? she is spoiling us this year guys omg…

landonorris ✔️: can’t wait for this one, love ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln

> lanyn: he’s so supportive of her i can’t 😭

> iluvf1: supportive? he’s downright obsessed with her! he literally has every figurine ever released of all of her characters lmao

> ynln ✔️: can’t wait for you to play this one ♥️

> landonorris ✔️: …dotface 🙃

> ynln ✔️: i thought we were over this…

> landonorris ✔️: i can hear you laughing in the kitchen

❤️ liked by ynln

> oscarpiastri ✔️: why are you commenting back and forth when you’re in the same house? christ…

> landonorris ✔️: leave us alone oscar, we’re in looove, something you will unfortunately never experience

> oscarpiastri ✔️: whatever…

> landonorris ✔️: ohhh someone is salty 💔

> ynln ✔️: lando enough omg 😭

seyloy1: are we getting yn as a major antagonist for once? i’d dieee 🫣

> loveuyn: no but really… she’d make such a hot major antagonist… she already went crazy as bela in resident evil village and that was a minor antagonist…

ynlovevoice: she’s so cute oh my god…

> loveuyn: there really is two sides to yn fans, the people that find her cute and the people that find her hot… i’m the latter 🫢

landonorris: my girl has been working so hard for her next game! took her karting as a reward ❤️ check out the trailer here, i’ll be playing it on stream so tune in then!

ynln ✔️: ah yes, MY reward!

> landonorris ✔️: you loved it!

❤️ liked by ynln

> ynln ✔️: i guess i did, thank you lan ♥️

❤️ liked by landonorris

> oscarpiastri ✔️: you guess? you were bouncing off the walls begging to keep going even as the place was closing…

> ynln ✔️: this is why you’re always a third wheel and it’s never a double date, no one likes a sourpuss

❤️ liked by landonorris

lanyn: they’re so so cute together… when will it be my turn? 💔

oscarpiastri ✔️: never coming karting with you two again, she nearly took my leg off and you egged her on

> landonorris ✔️: sounds like you should’ve kept your legs inside the kart

> ynln ✔️: yeah, sounds like another you problem

> oscarpiastri ✔️: it’s always a me problem…

❤️ liked by landonorris and ynln

ynln: happy pride month! as a member of the lgbt+ community, the importance of genuine representation in media is something i hold dearly to my heart ♥️ here’s to all of the wonderful wlw characters i’ve voiced 🏳️‍🌈

oscarpiastri ✔️: happy pride, loser

> ynln ✔️: loser? well at least that means i’m still miles cooler than you oscar ❤️

> landonorris ✔️: ohhh burn, oscar, go cool off in a ice bath

> oscarpiastri ✔️: wasn’t even a good “burn”… i hate it here

loveuyn: i wouldn’t be surprised if they named their future child clementine, given how much that character means yn 🥹

> iluvf1: i’m not a gamer, can you explain why?

> loveuyn: it was the first character yn ever voiced at age 9, then 11, then 13 and finally 16! she basically grew alongside her character and has expressed how much she loves her

landonorris ✔️: happy pride, love! SEYLOY FOR LIFE ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln

> lanyn: lando being a #1 seyloy shipper will always be the absolute cutest thing to me 😭

> landonorizz: right? instead of being a weird ass bf that gets stupidly jealous, he ships her characters with other characters

lewishamilton ✔️: happy pride month yn, sending lots of love your way ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln and landonorris

> ynln ✔️: love from lewis, what everyone wants but only some can have, thanks lew!

> ynln ✔️: oh and happy pride right back at you

> oldf1lvr: omg 😭

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

lando has some trauma

[nyoomfruits]

lovin the landoscar content recently are there any other blogs or fics u recommend for landoscar content? thank u!!

there's currently 44 fics in the landoscar ao3 tag and i would recommend all of them actually BUT these are my personal favorites <3

Negative splits by leafmealone | T | 10k

So officially, Oscar Piastri, pretty good steepler and pretty bad pacer, was now a professional runner. They wanted him to steeple, mostly, though he’d be doing cross country in the fall, and Lando had pinky promised him, mid-distance guy to mid-distance guy, that if he wanted to get into the 3k flat indoor then he would get him in. Oscar didn’t really want to ask how he planned on doing that. Felt safer not to ask.

listen. LISTEN. this is so. oh my god this is so good i'm OBSESSED with this one. my landoscar otp tag is literally a quote from this fic i'm so. it has a very slow build and then the ending hits and you're like oh. OH. beautiful beautiful beautiful.

i'll kiss you first by venerat | E | 3k

“Uh,” Oscar says, when they’re in the car on their way to the airport. “I think you’re—um. Going into heat, mate.”

god this one is so. their DYNAMIC in this. lando being like a confident little shit being so ENDEARED by oscar makes me feel all goey soft every time. delightful premise, works SO WELL for them and everything about this is just so. AAAHHH

break my rules by venerat | E | 4k

Lando makes a considering noise. “A flirt?” He glances at the cameras, and Oscar can’t tell if it’s one of those we’ll need to edit that out later glances, or what. He looks back at Oscar. “You think I’m a flirt?” “You’re just, like…” Oscar flounders, flushing. “You’re very friendly.”

i promise this entire list isn't going to be just venerat fics but GOD they write the landoscar dynamic SO WELL it makes me feel a little feral every single time. the whole shag marry kill scene is so. GOD it's my favorite. a+++ i love this fic so much

askin' six days into june by peargasly (jamb) | G | 354

Lando almost flinches in surprise when there’s a hesitant touch to his waist.

i read this this morning and it fundamentally changed me as a person this might be one of the BEST lando/oscar characterizations i've ever read the DYNAMIC in this is top tier

sense and velocity by vertueusement | T | 11k | wip

“Well, alright, I don’t know if you lived under a rock or something, but Lando Norris goes here.” Uh, literally who? Oscar wanted to prod further but he could at least read the room and tell the one he spoke to didn’t want anything to do with him.

this is a wip so it is not finished yet but GOD i'm so fascinated by this whole thing. the premise is AMAZING and the author makes FANTASTIC use of the switching pov to show how we perceive situations differently all the time i'm so !!!!!!! DELIGHTED to see where this story will take us

[butyou-callmewhenyourebored]

This Must Be My Dream - Ross MacDonald Part 3

Summary: In which you're missing your boyfriend and it takes absolutely zero convincing from the girls to fly across the world to see your man.

Warnings: Swearing, vulgar language somewhere in the middle as there is the tiniest bit of smut.

Author's Note: This is the last instalment of this little universe of characters. A blurb might be heading your way if I get around to it! Hope you enjoy this final part!

Part One Part Two

3.3K Words

Since you joined them on their UK tour, specifically their Manchester gig where it was very obvious to anyone who laid eyes on the pair of you, that you were completely infatuated with one another. You were 100% head over heels for the 6’4” bassist and he you. Literally from that day on, you couldn’t keep your hands off him. You wanted him all the time not that he minded because he wanted you just as bad.

You’ve never had as much sex in your entire life. It was true when you said that when you finally explored every part of your relationship, that he’d ruin every other man for you. You didn’t want anybody else, you were insatiable when it came to him. I think it was fair to say that you loved the bones off of him.

But you also just loved coming home from work and cooking dinner with him, unwinding and talking about your day. Your life had completely changed and done a full 180 and you couldn’t have been happier for how quick your life turned around. Ross loved slowly invading your space; his favourite jumper over the back of the sofa, a pair of slippers finding their way next to the front door and a bag of his favourite coffee on your kitchen counter. You also loved just sitting with him whilst he practised bass and creating funky little riffs whilst you nursed a glass of wine and just listened to him play. You’d never seen anything hotter than watching him do what he loves; whether that be on stage or in his living room. You were completely obsessed with him.

You also became fast friends with Charli and Carly, the group chat you spoke about when you met them properly was very active as you gossiped about your relationships and the band in general or life problems you were all currently facing. There wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t talking to those girls. Girls you were very happy were now apart of your life, even though it was only a short time ago, you can’t remember what life was like without those two angels in your life.

Usually Charli was all up for a little juicy goss between you girlfriends but today it was less sex talk and more moaning about how much you missed Ross and how you felt at a loss without knowing he was going to be home for dinner because he was in New York for  SNL with the boys.

Charli

Girl I love you but you need to get laid!!!

You

Ohhh I have absolutely no problem with getting laid babe! 🤷🏽‍♀️

Its the fact the man I’d lay down my life for is on the opposite side of the world.

Carly

Let her be! Haha They’re in the honeymoon stage! 

You guys are so sweet, I happen to know he feels the same about you!

Don’t tell Adam I told you!!!

You

He told Adam that? 🥺

Charli

Girl how do you not know this? He’s so pussy whipped it’s ridiculous! 😂

Carly

He did! Ads is ridiculously happy that Ross has found his person!

You

I’m literally repeating ‘Don’t cry! Don’t cry!’ to myself over and over because I don’t want to cry whilst I’m with Denise and have her ask why I’m crying!

Carly

If you’re missing him that much, why don’t you go and surprise him?!

Charli

That’s an insane idea! I’ll come with you! I’ve got to head over there for an Oscars thing anyway, a couple more days in the US won’t hurt anyone!

Carly

I’ll text Ads, he’ll help with the surprise! X

Charli 

I’d ask G but he’ll probably forget what’s happening!

You

You guys! I love you both so much! 💕

Bitch get your suitcase packed we’re going to NY!!!

As soon as you got off the phone to the girls, you booked your flights and then FaceTimed with Charli as you packed your cases together. Struggling with what to pack, what was weather even like in New York in March anyway? Her only input was to just not pack anything considering “You’re probably not going to be wearing a lot once he sees you anyway!”  Which to be fair to her, it was a very valid point. Charli knew you both all too well.

After settling on a mixture of cute outfits; casual and a few fancier ones, she picked out her favourite lingerie sets that you owned and told you “If you didn’t get dicked down the moment he sees you. I’ll fuck you myself!” Which had you cackling loudly because you absolutely knew that wouldn’t be the case but you appreciated the confidence boost from her nonetheless anyway!

“Don’t let G hear you say that! He’ll start getting ideas!”  You smirked; as Charli giggled before finally hanging up the phone so you could get the rest of your shit together.

When you got into bed that night, you wiggled about in excitement knowing that in less than 24 hours you’ll be able to see your man in flesh made it almost impossible to sleep. Feeling a little frisky you pulled off Ross’ shirt that you had stolen and opened up your camera app and hit record.

Sending it off to your man, as a little incentive as what he was missing and how much you were missing him. You shot him a quick warning text.

Just off to bed, missing you like crazy!

Do NOT under any circumstances open this in front of your band mates!!!

I’ll kill you and trust me I’ll know!

I love you xxx

His response made you squeal in excitement! You couldn’t wait to get your hands on him!

Fuck baby! You’re already killing me!

Sweet dreams! Only a couple more days until I’m home!

I love you too xxx

When you touched down in the New York, you forgot the intricacies of travelling with a well known international pop star and the fact paps were already waiting at the airport to pounce on whatever poor unsuspecting celebrity had touched down in the Big Apple. Taking your suitcases you wheeled them on out of the airport alone and into the awaiting car as you waited for Charli because if the paparazzi ruined your surprise you were going to riot because you really wanted to pull this off.

Switching your phone off do not disturb whilst you were in the car, it buzzed with a text from Adam. 

Hope your flight was okay.

Had the hotel pop your name onto Ross’ room!

Also sent your man on a coffee run so I’ll meet you in the lobby! x

You couldn’t help but beam when you spotted your friend waiting for you in the lobby of the hotel. Rushing to pull him into a tight a hug, you were very grateful for a selfless friend like Adam Hann. “Thank you for doing this. It means so much to me.” You told him, once you got your keycard from the front desk, the three of you finally making your way to the floor the band were staying on.

“Yeah seriously! Thanks so much! She’s been so annoying at home!”

“You’re just as bad! Fuck off!” You shot Charli a glare although it didn’t last long because it sent you both into a fit of giggles.

“George is in his room.”  Adam told her; as he stepped out of the elevator onto their floor, the brunette waved over her shoulder before skipping towards her room. “Ross should be back soon. It wasn’t hard to get him out the hotel! You know what he’s like with his caffeine addiction!” He smiled softly at you with a chuckle.

Hugging him once more, you pushed open the door to Ross’ room, abandoning your suitcase by the bed. His open next to the desk that was housing a kettle and an arrangement of crap you knew he had fished out of his pockets before leaving the hotel earlier. Immediately rushing to the bathroom to freshen up before your reunion with your favourite member of The 1975. When you finally settled on the bed, you already felt at home as his scent had already started lingering on the sheets, making your head spin and you started to feel giddy at the prospect of seeing his face in the next few minutes.

You weren’t on your own for very long; about ten minutes after you got into something a little more comfortable (wink wink) you heard Ross’ deep dulcet northern tone on the other side of the door. “Yeah see you in a bit mate. I’m going to go ring the missus!” You sat up, you leant up on your arms when you heard the click of the door, Matty’s voice briefly ringing through the open space.

“Yeah, spare me the details. Tell the bitch to text me back though!”

The flutter of your heart as you heard your boyfriend’s giggle and then him scold him for calling you bitch overrides your life long friend’s need to constantly call you names, as you rolled your eyes. Your heart beat beginning to race as you heard the door finally shut and Ross’ footsteps get louder as he finally got closer to you. You bit your lip nervously, waiting for him to spot you laid out on the bed.

You probably would have laughed at the confused expression etched across his handsome features as he heard your phone ring within the room and him running into find out the source of the noise, if your heart wasn’t thumping against your chest the moment you clapped eyes on him.

Ross blinked repeatedly as he took in your appearance. The fact you were here in New York in his hotel room and not at home in Manchester. The skin of your lip caught between your teeth as you attempted to keep your naughty thoughts at bay but he just looked too good. Already putting his coffee down, Ross was striding across the hotel room and launching himself across the bed before you could even utter the words “Hi baby!” His large hands holding onto your jaw tightly and kissing the air straight out of your lungs.

“Fuck. Missed you so much.” He managed to mumble in between kissing you senseless.

“Missed you more.”  You moaned; arching into his touch, grabbing at his belt to get him as close as humanly possible.

There was definitely no need to take Charli up on her offer because the little clothing you had on was quickly being ripped off as you reconnected after nearly a week apart. The pornographic moan you let out into the pillows as his large hands squeezed at your arse cheeks, pulling at the flesh as he tried to get deeper was enough to make Ross’ grip on you even tighter and really drive home. Squeezing around him, your whole body lit up in tingles as he made you cum again.

Orgasms were always great but you’d never get over the way Ross made you cum like it was the last thing he’d do every single time. You shuddered at the emptiness as he pulled out, anybody else would be knackered after cumming three times but not you. He made you feel insatiable. You always wanted more. Pushing him on to his back; you climbed back on top, straddling his waist and wasting no time before sliding him back inside you where he belonged.

He always felt bigger, more snug if that was even possible when you were on top but the delirious feeling of dragging your pussy up and down his incredible cock, as you made him like this made your head spin as you rode him faster. Running your hands up his chest and through his chest hair that you loved so much, your hands found home either side of his head so you could lean down to kiss him. 

“Love you so much baby.” You murmured into his mouth. “Could do this forever.”

“Always good to me aren’t you love?” Your boyfriend groaned into your mouth at a particular slow drag.

Pulling you to his chest, arms securely wrapped around your waist to hug you in place, Ross planted his feet into the mattress before pistoning into you so fast all you could do was babble absolutely nonsense into the crook of his neck.

“Come on baby, know you can do it.” He whispered into your ear softly.

“I want it. Want you. Need it baby. Give it to me. I’ve been good.” You managed to get out in between moans and chants of his name, like it was only word you knew.

“You’ve already had me though. Had your mouth round my cock within thirty seconds of seeing me. Always make me cum like that don’t you angel and now you want more?” Ross taunted you, the little shit.

“Always want you. Love you so much.” You pressed your mouth to his in a deep kiss.

“You’ll always have me, I love you so fucking much.”

You didn’t think it was possible for him to go any faster but his words of affirmation and way his big cock was fucking into you, had you cumming hard with a loud moan and triggering Ross’ own orgasm, filling you up so much it made you feel delirious. Rolling off him, you snuggled quickly into his side, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, as you listened to his heartbeat beat erratically against your cheek.

It was moments like this that you loved almost as much as the sex, the man was incredible but you also just loved to love upon each other and talk absolute rubbish with one another. You couldn’t believe you had gotten so lucky. Ross thinking the same thing as he tucked a fly away piece of hair behind your ear, made you freeze as you just took in the sight of him, a sweet kiss to your forehead followed before he continued telling his story about the restaurant the boys went to the night before, that he’d love to take you to before you both had to leave each other again.

The two of you were in the midst of telling him about the flight over with Charli when Ross’ phone rang from somewhere in the room. Leaning over to rummage through his trouser pocket, you noticed Matty’s name flashing across the screen as he tried to FaceTime him. Ross accepting the call, settled back against the headboard knowing there was always the prospect Matty’s conversation could be long. No hellos were said however when Matty’s face appeared and your heart swelled when you heard the reasonings behind the unsuspected call.

“I’m not saying the walls are thin. But the walls are fucking thin! And if my best pal hasn’t magically teleported to New York and you’ve fucking hurt her. I’ll fucking hurt you MacDonald! Do you hear me? I don’t care, I’ll find a new bassist! Now who the fuck is in your room?” Matty’s voice getting louder and more erratic as he ranted.

“Matty. Calm down, it’s me.” 

You spoke softly as you took the phone off your boyfriend. The pang in your chest when you saw the glossiness in his eyes at the thought of you being fucked over by his mate had your own welling up as you offered him a soft smile.

“Hi bitch!” Matty whispered; a sigh of relief living his mouth.

“Hey dickhead!” You whispered back a chuckle.

“You’re in New York? What the fuck!”

“I am!” You laughed. “Charli and I both kind of missed Ross and G so we thought we’d surprise them. Got in earlier today.”  You explained to your best mate. “You surprised?!”

“Yeah! Fucking relieved too because I genuinely thought I’d have to kill him! I know you guys are cute but fuck me you two are gross. Like actual rabbits. I’m so happy you’re here, Ross can stop moping about now!” You laughed loudly as your boyfriend reprimanded his mate for calling him out, grumbling out that he didn’t mope which only made you laugh louder. Pressing another kiss to his shoulder, you settled your head against it as you continued conversing with your mutual best mate. 

Mumbling something about a piss; your boyfriend jumped out of bed quickly, leaving you with Matty. As soon as the click of the bathroom door echoed back into the room your facial expression turned serious very quickly, scaring Matty and causing him to frown in confusion as to why you looked terrified all of a sudden.

“Be honest with me now.” You started off in a whisper. “Because I don’t think my soul would be able to take it if what I’m about to ask is true or if I ever find out you’re lying.” Matty truly in his confused era at the sudden change of conversation, his heart broke when he saw your lip quiver. “Why did you say that before? Has he ever given you the impression that he’s cheating on me?”

You choked on your own words as you managed to get out, the mere thought of not being enough for Ross was enough to have you about to sob on the phone to Matty.

“Ohhh fuck no! I didn’t know you were here. I heard the noise. I panicked. He’d never. I promise you. That man is annoyingly in love with you!”  Matty grinned at you as he word vomited out his reassurance. “I’ve tried to tell him that you’re not that great but he won’t have any of it.” Your curly haired mate shrugged nonchalantly, successfully pulling a laugh out of you. “I promise he would never do that to you. He’d marry you in a heartbeat if he could.”

At the prospect of Ross talking to Matty about wanting to marry you was enough to make the sob that was bubbling in your chest before resurface but this time out of happiness. Confirming that you weren’t sad, but it were in fact happy tears because you just loved the handsome brunette so much. He was in the middle of chastising you about the noise level when Ross rejoined you both, slipping in beside you and automatically wrapping his arms around you. “Yeah, can we keep the moaning to a minimum whilst we’re here please because some of us do value our sleep.”

“I can’t promise anything!” You smirked; cackling as he screwed up his face in distaste at your boyfriend’s answer..

It took a lot for your to get embarrassed especially around your dickhead of a best friend but suddenly knowing that he’d heard the two of you, heard Ross making you cum multiple times had the heat rushing to your cheeks before muttering something along the lines of “We’ll try our best” before hanging up the phone, it your turn to groan into your boyfriend’s skin.

The two of you spent the next couple of hours in bed; no clothes, tv on, room service ordered and just content on being in each other’s presence. Lazily running your hands up and down his chest, you pressed equally lazy kisses to his skin, peppering them up his neck and jaw until you captured his lips against your own. Fluttering your eyes open,  you took in his handsome features, reaching up to hold his face in your hands.

“I could do this forever.”  You sighed contently against him.

“You want that?”

“Hmmmm” You hummed in agreement, your eyes fluttering closed as you pressed up against him in order to get closer than you already were.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes shot open at the question. Searching his face for some sort of joking air about the loaded question. You managed to spit out a soft “What?” Shock completely taking over you as you stared at your boyfriend.

“I’m serious. You want to be mine. I want to be yours. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”  He asked again. 

You blinked up at him. “Yes.” 

“Yes?” 

The cock of Ross’ eyebrow; almost challenging your answer, unsure if he heard you right. Nodding frantically, you squealed in delight when he pulled you on top of him in celebration and kissing you so deeply it made you dizzy. You couldn’t help but cry tears of pure happiness as you let him kiss you all over. You were going to marry the love of your life. This crazy handsome, talented, attentive and kind man was going to be your husband and you couldn’t wait!”

[cieloclercs]

heyyy can i get a lover, you should’ve come over (also, love this song it hits so hard) for an f1 driver or atp player

i’m 5,3” with short brown hair (floppy curtain bangs), brown eyes and freckles just across my nose. i love classics, history, geography, english and politics in school, and i’m currently rereading the heroes of olympus series. jewelry is my favorite thing in the world and i love wearing novelty earrings, i don’t really wear make up just some occasional mascara. i love to read and write, and obsess over fictional characters and sportspeople in my spare time. my favorite music artists atm are the smiths, jeff buckley, the cranberries, fleetwood mac, hozier and the cure. although i don’t really believe in astrology, i am such a cancer and get very emotional about things. my family and my friends mean more to me than anything else in the world and one of my main goals in life is to be the kindest, best listener i can possibly be <3

tysmm and i love your writing <3

i ship you with oscar piastri!

— ok so a lot of my reasoning for this is that in another writer’s celly i was shipped with oscar piastri, and girl YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ME WHAT ??!! 😭 but like after reading it it made so much sense ?? i’ll explain:

— first of all you sound adorable, like i’m building up a picture in my head and you and oscar look so cute together 🥹 obviously he’s not the tallest, but he’s still significantly taller than you, and you can bet he’s gonna tease you about it at every given opportunity 😭 (he’s such a little shit i’ll stand by this till i die) also i feel like he’d absolutely love your freckles !! like one of those slightly cliche moments where your s/o traces the freckles on your face ?? you know one of those moments ??? yeah, that’s oscar with you 😭 cue him zoning out trying to count them and you catching him just staring at you and he blushes so hard 🤭🤭

— the more i learn about oscar piastri the more i can picture him with a super intellectual s/o, not just because of the vibes, but also because i think he’d take a genuine interest. not a lot of people would be interested in things like classics and history (i mean in my opinion it’s literally the coolest thing ever but from experience not everyone agrees 😭) and oscar definitely thinks you’re like the coolest person on earth 😭 he’ll ask you loadsss of questions about it just so he can hear you talk 🥹 and you can bet he’ll try to learn as much about it as he possibly can so he can impress you 😏😏 the man is a SIMP

— i don’t know whether a lot of other f1 fans think this ??? but i feel like oscar has surprisingly diverse music taste 🤔 like i can definitely picture him being into some of the old classics rather than current mainstream music (à la sebastian vettel) so i feel like you guys would have LOADS in common when it comes to music. oscar is definitely a huge blur fan (idk why he’s giving damon albarn vibes to me) BUT his guilty pleasure music is the smiths and fleetwood mac !!!! he’s a soft boy at heart 🥹 he’ll literally make you custom playlists and buy you vinyls if you’re into that stuff (pro boyfriend behaviour honestly)

— i feel like oscar will quite often be the voice of reason in your relationship. i mean we’ve all seen how chill he is (he genuinely reminds me of kimi he’s just completely deadpan 😭) so when you get emotional about something he’s always there to talk you down and help you feel better 🥹 and he’d be such a good listener too !! this man will literally sit and let you rant for HOURS if you need to without losing concentration 🥹 i also feel like oscar sometimes bottles things up ?? so when you can sense he’s doing that, you always try to coax him out and get him to talk to you about whatever it is that’s bothering him. you guys genuinely tell each other everything. you’re his confidant, and he yours 🤍

— + bonus head cannon !! sometimes oscar will surprise you or turn up at yours a day or so early after his races, and every single time he’ll bring you a new piece of jewellery from whatever country he’s just been in: whether it’s your favourite novelty earrings or a necklace or bracelet from one of those independent jewellery stores (the best jewellery imo) and he’d love just seeing your face light up every time !! 🥹 it’s not a particularly expensive gift, but you both love the authenticity of it and how personal it is to you ❤️

[saccharinenectarine123]

landoscar and the max fewtrell of it all… i’m obsessed

Hahaha glad to be of service, dear Anonie.

Honestly readers' reaction to max f has been one of the most fascinating and completely unexpected parts of run rabbit run. I had no idea that he was so dear to some of you! I personally love it when characters I like pop up in other stories so I'm glad to hear you liked it <3

Some backstory to max f being intertwined with landoscar: the first scene I wrote for run rabbit run was the coke cans scene in chapter one. Then I had to sit there and think about the genesis of oscar's obsession.

Then I remembered that max f has such an interesting crossover between lando and oscar and it got me thinking...truly the landoscar lore is so compelling because of strange coincidences and connections like max f.

Immediately, it felt important to me that max f was literally cupid in a way - the image of him nattering on about his kart's livery while inadvertently introducing oscar to lando's existence was so clear in my mind. Also the idea of him and oscar golfing together and max f providing important insights into lando sexuality also came to me immediately (and feeding oscar's delulu...well it was delulu at the time but actually very on the money in the end).

I really liked the idea of oscar and lando orbiting each other for many years before finally colliding. I also liked the idea of oscar getting basically all of his lando info from lando's social media (ie very curated by lando's team or lando himself) or through max f (who is coming from the perspective of being lando's best friend). Oscar would have had such a skewed idea of who lando actually is mixed in with crystal clear flashes of objective truths (like max f's allusions to lando's 'not 100% hetro' sexuality).

Tbh because of max f's very defined 'cupid' role, I didn't have any set plans to write him in again after chapter 1. Then a comment on ao3 about how much they liked max f's inclusion in chapter 1 got me thinking about if it made sense to include him again, and i decided it would, and that it would make the fic feel more grounded in reality. I ended up really enjoying the two references to / appearances of max f in chapter 3. So thank you to the ao3 commenter because I don't know how/if max f would have popped up again. But I'm glad he did!

If I'm being honest, I was personally very ambivalent towards max f before I started writing run rabbit run (to the point that I had the nortrell tag blocked on my tumblr just because it was of zero interest to me). He was just narrative fodder when i started run rabbit run but now I have a little soft spot for him <3

[vacantgodling]

tit for tat: the character from witch noir i'm most obsessed with right now is angel. he just sucks so bad, but at the last minute he decides to try really hard!! for love!!! he's a cancer sun pisces moon pisces rising he's so sad and pathetic and full of love. he cries big ghibli tears and changes reality through sheer force of he believes in it so hard. he can't drive and his best friend is a cat. and he looks like oscar isaac.

now you 🔁

thank you for doing this i’m also now???? obsessed with him. cancer x pisces baby he’s so TINY idk i’m holding him i am kissing on the head i am giving him hot chocolate 😭 i’d love to know more about him?? how does he suck? how does he manage to turn things around? what’s his cats name??? i need to knowww

(also he looks like oscar isaac? i’m 👀 looking)

i randomly get into moods for stuff so like earlier i was going through my google drive with all my nonsense and looked back over my stuff for NAD and man i wish this plot would better reveal itself to me bc i love these characters. so much!!!

NAD rn is an acronym placeholder title for the actual wip itself (hopefully it’ll name itself… one day…) standing for the 3 povs that the story’s gonna switch through.

N is for Nyseah Nicoletti. she’s a trans femme nurse who is so. fucking. tired. she’s so damn tired. let her sleep. in her 30s and works the midnight shift most nights of the week and hardly takes time for herself, chain smokes to keep the edge off of how tired and irritable she always is. she wants better for herself but like ? how. getting the boob job was hard enough lmao. anyway tho, she’s given a respite from her misery one rare night off and she decides (for once) to go out. gets all dressed up, goes to a bar and WOW? a handsome man is actually?? flirting with her???? this doesn’t happen every day, what’s the occasion? they end up going back to a motel, fuck, and then nyseah wakes up alone. everything’s cool… until she opens her left eye. then SUDDEN PAIN!!! (i posted that excerpt here but she’s not having a god time). and well, come to find out she’s psychic now. but not in a good way. in a if you even think about using your powers blood is pouring from your eye type of way. ends up meeting some “escaped experiment” kids that she immediately adopts who are able to help her but her whole story is kinda. revenge for this dude who fucked her over like this bc it’s definitely one-night-stand dude’s fault (and this ain’t just a funny like. he literally caused this lol,,)

A is for Alona. a sweet, little air headed but doing her best! college student in her early 20s. she picks up a job at the largest and most famous (infamous probably) company in the city as a part time secretary and is living the good life, or is trying to! her coworkers are a bit standoffish at times but she’s pretty chill with the whole thing until one day for the first time she’s asked to stay on for the night shift. that night goes well, but she notices what looks to be a trail of blood coming from one of the back rooms she’s told not to go into and while she doesn’t that night the thought doesn’t leave her mind. she just can’t help but want to know more? somethings not right and well. she’s curious! (let’s just hope the cat phrase doesn’t come to fruition shall we).

finally, D is for PI Donte MacBride, the oldest of the bunch in his mid 40s. he really should retire from doing pi work but he has no other prospects or savings, so he just lives out his days in his little rickety shop/turned upstairs apartment (since he lost the last real place he had), shooing away those with hopes of him facing the cruel justice system on their behalf. he won’t, not anymore, he’s done with that circus. and he’s all but stopped taking on cases too until one day a very. very famous guest decides to drop by; an actor known only by his first name leonine. he comes by to request his services, claiming its only for closure as per don’s policy: find out who killed recently killed rising star, the singer roxanne davis, one of his dearest friends. and he makes don a monetary offer he can’t refuse—one that would set him for the rest of his life. so… despite the red flags about touching this case going off in his head, don finds himself taking on one last case.

as you can probably guess, these three stories intersect and the three of them are going to meet and realize they’re all on the same path to… whatever the fuck is going on here. but !! i have yet to figure out truly what it is aside from lil bits and pieces. fjfjfj i’m sorry this was so long haha.

[wwhatev3r]

I was hoping to be shipped with someone in BoB if you’re still doing that.

I have red hair and I’m 5’5”. I’m currently studying history and I absolutely love it. In my spare time I play video games, watch historical shows or documentaries, read tarot cards, baking, listening to music, read books, talk with friends, and watch YouTube and Netflix/Disney+. I could talk all day about historical inaccuracy and accuracy in tv shows and movies. I also love Marvel and DC comics, and I will also give long rants about that too. In general, I’m a huge nerd. I try to help my friends and family as much as I can. They usually come to me for advice or support. I can be outgoing and love telling jokes, but I’m also very introverted. I tend to like to stay home and do something. Particularly now because I have a lot of anxiety, it’s mainly surrounding my health because I had a major health episode back in December (I have a LOT of trauma because of it now). My health isn’t great either, I have a lot of headaches and general pain in my head. I do get pretty insecure about myself, as I’m on the bigger side. I just need someone who will keep me safe, who’s down to earth, reassure me, make me laugh, and be a consistent part of my life (I’ve had the rug pulled from beneath me a few too many times in the last 2 years). So sorry for the length.

I Ship You With...

George Luz!

Notes: I’m sorry for taking so long and btw, you excellent taste! <3

I can’t give you a better man than George Luz.

To begin with, as you meet he is the one starting the conversation (obviously), and mainly because he taught you were really pretty.

Things were going pretty well because he made a joke or two but, the moment he saw you were getting anxious or shy (due to your introversion) he gently stepped away and apologized.

Later you would meet again and start your friendship from there on.

I can see you two having a friends to lovers type of love, ngl.

Oh, he could hear you talk about history all day, he’s a very cultured person but he doesn't know everything.

“So, Reign’s costumes weren't obviously accurate but what about Marie Antoinette? Ok, what about Little Women? What? But they won an Oscar. Disappointing."

George enjoys talking about historical tea.

“Yeah, I think it was his brother who poisoned him, I’m telling ya. His wife, really? He deserved it! Anne Boleyn should’ve done the same.”

Okay, but George Luz and tarot cards it's just the funniest thing ever.

As a fellow tarot reader I can tell how funny it is when we present cards to people who don’t know shit about tarot.

“Oh great… the death card! I’m going to die tomorrow aren’t I? Lovely.” He says sarcastically.

After a reading or two he becomes obsessed with tarot too, even though he was at the beginning a little skeptical.

Oh yes, I can see George loving Marvel and Dc, he isn't a huge fan like Liebgott but he loves it.

Idk why but I feel like he would love Tony Stark and Deadpool; actually I do know why, because they are two sarcastic and funny bitches like him.

George is the most supportive of you, for that I’m 100% sure.

When you’re sad he’s the type of person who asks first if you want to talk and then distracts you by doing something fun, like playing your favorite games.

When he hears you say something bad about yourself when you’re insecure he will literally look at you up and down and say: “What? What did you say?” and proceed to hype you up for hours straight even for the minimal things, “Honey, your breathing is just so sexy today!”

Idk why, and this is just a guess but, I think you are the type of people who helps, gives support and listens to people and then they just shit on you, but continue to do it because you genuinely care.

George just hates when you do that, he understands it and loves that you are an altruistic person but has your boyfriend and best friend he has the necessity to warn you and help you.

Btw, he LOVES your family, the first time they met him was just perfect.

What can I say? George is charming, funny, and comes from a pretty big and humble family, they knew instantly he would take care of you like you deserve it.

He becomes pretty close and loyal to them and totally helps them when they need it, no doubt.

In terms of your health, I can tell you for sure that he takes the line “... in sickness and in health…” seriously.

If you have to be in the hospital he will be there for you day and night, but even if It’s at home he knows how to ease your headaches.

He brings you medication, something to drink (milk, tea, water or some juice. No coffee! Take it or leave it) and he convinces you to go to bed and rest.

If it’s due to stress he likes to snuggle in bed while you talk about what is stressing you.

If you want, he can even read a book for you :)

[andsheloved]

hiii, how are you??? <3 i noticed that you love moon knight and i wanted to talk about it with someone bc none of my friends are watching it until it's complete on disney+😭 BUT I'M LOVING IT SO MUCH OMG, i'm like OBSESSED PLS😭 and it gets better (and more confusing) every week and omg omg omg sishdk😭 and it's also completely breaking my heart💔

-🌈

🌈!!! my dear!!!! hello!!!! i hope you are doing good!! how are you!! i hope you are taking care of yourself!! and i am pretty good :) i feel like i got a bunch of stuff done today which i’m slightly proud of!! i felt very productive for once hehe, bUT OH MY GOSH MOON KNIGHT!!!! MY DEAREST!!!! LET’S SCREAM ABOUT IT!!!!! i’m actually so obsessed. to be honest i haven’t cried over a character really since maybe geralt and loki but i cried over steven grant a bit ago and i just- he. he’s so sweet and adorable and i love him so much, i’m gonna put the rest of this below the cut so i can properly scream about this with you (so warning!! moon knight ep 1 & 2 spoilers below the cut!!)

(also for anyone else reading this i’m begging on my knees (affectionate) if anyone sends my steven grant soft thoughts or even napoleon solo i would cry and love you forever even more if that’s even possible i would love you • 26393628)

okAY under the cut now hehe i feel like we're in a secret meeting place in an alley now discussing moon knight hehe :)

okay but i love steven so much, when he got fired from the museum i just absolutely cried like :') he reminds me of myself so much aghdfas but he's adorable, and the scene at the steak restAURANT??? WHEN HE MISSED HIS DATE??? literally sobbing. oscar isaac's acting is so so so so extremely good and like, i loved him before, buT THIS, absolutely top tier. to be honest i have yet to watch episode 3 but i am going to watch it tonight!! i am so very excited!! also khonsu being just so annoyed and over marc and steven makes me laugh very hard.

as you may not have or may have known, i do indeed work at a museum, and so seeing little museum worker steven being an actual superhero??? literally amazing. steven makes my heart so happy, and psst i've been working on a fic for him and i'm so excited bUT anyways, the love i have for him is strong.

also marc is a seggsy man, like oh okay mysterious guy, yes you'd probably punch me the moment you met me but yes i love you. but enough about my thoughts!!! what about you!!! what have you been thinking of it so far!! do you have any favorite moments!! let me know!!! i literally love this show, and steven grant is most certainly in my group of most favorite marvel guys and just guys in general now, i love!!! he!!! the show!!! amazing!!! so much love i have for this show!!! i love this and i love screaming about this with you so please come back any time and we can discuss!!! i hope you are doing so well today and taking care of yourself though!! mwauh!! all my love ans hugs!!

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 127

Annnnd a-one, and a-two, and a queue-queue-queue!

This chapter has one of my favorite things in the world to write - Interpersonal relationships (if you are surprised, I’m going to assume you are new here....).

Specifically, one of my biggest pet-peeves is when friends or siblings are written in a way that shows that the author doesn’t actually have any friends or siblings they are close enough to that all rules of societal politeness go whizzing into some far-off dimension as soon as they are in proximity.

When I get to write a chapter with such close friends/ersatz-siblings and also have @baelpenrose cackling and egging me on, it literally makes my whole day.

P.S: If anyone has wondered about the ages of the characters, several are clearly lined out in this chapter......

EDIT: Fixed some insane formatting issues.

“The food festival, Sophia? Really?” an incredulous voice asked before the door to my office even opened all the way.

I resisted the urge to scream, but did surrender to pinching the bridge of my nose and breathing slowly. “Hello, Arthur. Do come in. Long time no see.  Of course I’m not busy…” My one day each week to have a few hours to myself - no mentees, no assistant, even Tyche was off work….

“We saw each other last night when I came over for dinner after sparring with Conor, and  you’re never busy on Saturdays, Alistair makes sure of it.” He dragged a chair in front of my desk for what I felt was the sole purpose of putting his boots on my desk instead of the conference table.

“I thought you two didn’t even like each other, how did you - “

He waved a hand dismissively. “Enemy of my best friend’s enemy is my friend, that sort of thing. Anyway - “

“Did you just call me my own worst - “

“You are, let’s not pretend otherwise. Anyway.” Arthur arched an eyebrow at me and waited for any further objections, but I couldn’t think of any. “The Food Festival. It’s my one favorite tradition on this ship until armed combat becomes a spectator sport, and you are putting Parvati and Hannah in charge of it?”

After a beat pause to make sure he was done, I glared at him. “Everyone has asked me that, and I don’t understand the issue.  They’ve both helped in the past, even before they started training to replace me.  I’ve handed more and more off to them each time, and they did great! Plus, they have three months, it will be fi - Wait, why do you even care, Arthur?”

He held up one finger with the authority of a deity who would have smited me if he could. “One, Parvati Fletcher does not like mapo tofu. You do. Specifically, you like it from that one vendor who grows her own Sichuan peppercorns and uses them like they are an infinite resource. Two, I spend entirely too much time working with Zach Khan, and he won’t shut up about how stressed Hannah is. Three - “ I was seriously starting to get concerned he actually could smite me at this point - “As much as I love you in the most platonic way possible, you are an obsessive, compulsive perfectionist who insists on doing everything herself and running herself into the ground so that everyone else has the time of their lives. So why are you trusting this, the largest and oldest event on the Ark, entirely to other people?” Dropping his boots from the desk, he leaned forward, palms down until we were nearly nose to nose.

“Sophia Reid, I swear on any god I can kill if you are dying…”

“WHAT!?” I squawked, jerking back and standing so fast I knocked my chair over. “For the love of little fish, I’m not dying! I haven’t had a near death experience in four years, thank you.”

“Three, not counting the fact that there is a reason Alistair makes you drink anything through a straw anymore.”

“How did - Nevermind.” I shook my head and tried to focus on the topic at hand. “No, I’m not dying. Nor am I injured, having a midlife crisis, rethinking my life choices any more than I ever do, or so much as in possession of a stuffy nose.” Taking a deep breath, I rolled my eyes and started counting off before I could stop myself. “Conor and Maverick and I are fine. No, I’m not arguing with Tyche again. Yes, I’m still going to therapy. Else is fine. No new sentient plagues or rogue cult leaders that I’m aware of. Nor have I become immortal, queen of the universe, savior of humanity, pregnant by Noah, or possessed.” Carefully, I picked my chair back up and sat down.

“Good...to… know?” He gave me a funny look. “Who asked the most disturbing one?”

“Immortal or Savior of Humanity?” I asked for clarification. “Those were Maverick and Derek, respectively.”

The look only got worse. “I meant ‘pregnant by Noah’, but fascinating to see where your priorities lie….?”

“Oh. That was Charly.”

“Dammit,” he swore softly. “I had her pegged for ‘possessed’.”

“I’m pretty sure she is, but the suggestion that I am came from Tyche, on no fewer than 3 occasions, by 4 different entities. She seemed pretty hopeful that Else was potentially mind-controlling me in an effort to make me take a nap,” I admitted.

“That tracks.” A nod of approval prefaced the question I had been avoiding - successfully, thus far, I might add. “Now that you’ve ruled out every possible plausible reason that you would entrust this to literally anyone other than a clone of yourself, why?”

“Why what?” My face was composed in an expression of innocence so convincing that I probably deserved an Oscar.

“I can and will convince Charly to turn all your coffee to decaf, so help me, Sophia.”

Realizing that he was, legitimately, worried about me and at the limits of his usually-impressive patience, I held up my hands in surrender. “Fine. You get the scoop.  Please record this and send me the loop, so I can just flick it at people who ask, please?” When he nodded, I exhaled slowly.  “It is no secret to anyone that I never wanted this job. I made the mistake of establishing the Food Festival, which as you point out is the largest event of the cycle on the Ark - the last three years, literally everyone attended in some capacity.” When he opened his mouth to argue, I held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t get me wrong. I love the Festival. What basically started out as a potluck because we were homesick and needed to meet - you know, the rest of humanity - is a huge, three day holiday.  It’s amazing!” I spun in my chair, arms flung wide for emphasis, before stopping to face him. 

“It also consumes my life, for months, to prepare for.  And that’s just implementing changes to make it more accessible so people don’t miss out! That doesn’t include adding things to make it more interesting or keep it from getting boring, or whatever. I literally don’t have time to do any of that!”

“So, you’re inflicting this on them instead?”

“Inflicting?” I snorted.  “Hardly. This is their final exam, their capstone project, their dissertation.  If they pull this off, I will gladly hand the entire office over to whoever is elected, cheerfully and knowing the Ark is in good hands.  But, they have to pull this off.  It’s the only major part of being Councilor of Resources and Relations that they haven’t done yet by themselves.”

He rubbed his face, looking somewhat impressed. “That’s honestly not what I was expecting.”

“I don’t think it ever is, honestly.” I shrugged at the question he glanced towards me. “For Evan, it was coordinating the weapons exhibitions.  Charly managed to pre-empt her own by designing more efficient aqueducts and filtration for when we reach Von - you know, the ones that also produce light?”

“Of course she would invent glow-in-the-dark plumbing. Who else?” Something caught up with him. “Evania Josue got away with planning an event? Seriously?”

“Oh, that’s right… you weren’t on Level One…” I murmured. When he only looked more confused, I clarified. “She was Maverick’s co-pilot when we needed people to pilot the Ark, which was not designed to pilot manually, via dead reckoning, using cameras pointed out the few viewports we have, for several weeks after the sensors were sabotaged.”

“She was whose co-pilot?”

“You really never heard this story? You practically live with seven people who were there…”

“Usually I get the bits about ‘Sophia nearly got her brains bashed out’ and ‘that traitorous bitch’, then start tuning out while I try to decide what it would take to get Charly to teach me necromancy… If Evan was the co-pilot, then why is Maverick….”

“Not in line to replace any Councilors? Arthur, we know that would be a disaster for him.”

He nodded reluctantly. “Your younger partner is a nice boy.”

“For fuck’s sake, he’s thirty seven!” I groaned.

“Nice man, whatever,” he waved off. “Which is exactly what I would like for you as a partner. You need nice partners, and blunt siblings. But I see what you mean about him being a Councilor… he’d be miserable.”

“What was yours?” I asked mischievously, dropping my chin onto my hands.

That earned me a flat stare, until he finally surrendered when I didn’t flinch. “The Twentieth/Early Twenty First History curriculum.”

“Seriously?” That had literally been the first thing he had done when Eino tapped him as a possible successor.

“I didn’t budge on points even he admitted he would have, out of fear of offending people.”

“Which is a fear you very much lack,” I pointed out.

“The truth is the truth. Coating it in sugar only makes it taste worse.” He shrugged nonchalantly before suddenly looking dangerously like he was thinking again. “There’s two of them.”

“Yes, Arthur. Hanna and Paravati are, in fact, two distinct and separate women-type-lady-people.”

“Thank you, Fee, I was well aware.” I suppressed a growl at the nickname - he knew I hated it. “I meant, only one can win the election, smartass.”

“Better to be a smartass than a dumbass,” I muttered.

“Sophia, you are forty five. Please grow up just a hair?”

“Tyche doesn’t want to be HR forever, you know.”

That brought his mind to a visibly screeching halt. “Wait, what?”

“What what?” I asked. “She does it because she is phenomenal at it, but it isn’t her passion.  She only stuck around as long as she did to make sure I didn’t trip over a chair and brain myself while I was at work.  When I’m gone, she’s gone, loser take the spoils.”

He whistled softly before shaking his head. “It’s bizarre to think of you two retiring around the same time I’m just starting the position.”

“I’ll have been a Councilor for a decade when I step down,” I pointed out.  I almost included unless I die first, but that never seemed to be as funny as I thought it was.

“But you aren’t that much older than me,” he sighed dramatically. “Anti-aging technology is frustrating.”

“Annnnd this is a natural extension of your career, with a ten year break thereabouts the middle.”  My grin was so bright it made him scowl before I finally got a begrudging smile.  “Think of it as getting elected head of the school board.”

The groan he let out probably echoed for several levels throughout the ship. I had basically just pointed out that he was becoming that which he most hated.

Or not. He seemed to recover with a gleam in his eye. “Pfft. Dean of Students, at the very least.”

<< Prev   Masterlist  Next >>

[pamouche]

Thanks a lot for tagging me @phascinationphases @borborai and @onzeziggy it's sweet of you, have a great day🌼🌼

fav wtfock s3 things Soundtracks , Robbe, Sander, Sobbe's kisses, THEY ARE THE DEFINITION OF CHEMISTRY AND LOVE ,Teasing, Croques and traditions, Casa Milan and Zoënne, Jens who was there for Robbe, the end with everyone together to celebrate Christmas and "dat we nu leven" I would say in conclusion everything, this is the best remake that has been done this season (it's my opinion) The acting of the 2 Willems was impeccable, the emotions were strong. They deserve great oscars

fav clip Everything in fact ahahaha. More seriously I would say the clip at the hotel (= Vrijdag 22:21 / 22:52), the shower scene=masterpiece and when Sander talks about his future project of marriage, their look for each other, their smile, their kiss, their hug... It was just them and nobody else. "Nowhere as happy as we are" and it's true (here's another iconic line that makes me emo as fuck) plus there is literally my favorite kiss, it's the one after Sander said "take it or leave it", I am obsessed with this kiss ahaha. It's so perfect, happy young in love and so well together

fav scene I love the scene of the Vrijdag 22:53 clip (the beginning, not the end you know why) they are boyfriends and bestfriends and I love this relationship. Robbe and his magic trick, Sander and his little tap on Robbe's cheek because he doesn't believe in this trick, their big smile and the look game and then the moment of the hands, on the hair, near Sander's mouth... Sander whispering sweet things in Robbe's ear and when they leave the bar, happy and in love, Robbe getting on Sander's back and then when he answers Sander "bij je" and Sander's little snort after that and their looong kiss<3 Their first date went so well until ....

fav shot I would say the shots of their eyes before they kiss. I could look at their loving looks all day long because you can tell they love each other so much and just want to never leave each other. Their eyes really shine before they kiss, just at the sight of the other, and then their smile before kissing omgg , I think in particular of the clip of Woensdag 16:36 where these shots are abundant

fav kiss that Robbe initiates I think it's in the Dinsdag 07:27 clip when Robbe tells Sander he's going to school because he has an exam. Sofffft morning kiss, I can't stop watching the gifs on it, it's so beautiful. The way Robbe is caring while doing this and Sander asleep but receptive because how can you not...They were really taking every minute, nothing was in a hurry it was just the two of them in their world and the music in the background was really nice. I love this clip.

fav kiss that Sander initiates I think directly to the kiss of this clip(= Zaterdag 09:41) It was my end, the way Sander touched his nose on Robbe's (while Robbe was smiling) before kissing him and then rocking him on the bed is for me ahaha. Even the continuation is perfect with Sander's sentences so sincere and too many emotions when I hear them... and between these sentences the kisses, a little teasing but so beautiful and soft to see. Anyway I loved "from now on it's just the two of us" qarrggg I'm going to cry again

fav Sander dialogue We won't lie, Sander has the most iconic lines. I'm going to select two that really stood out to me: "Gij en ik, honderd procent voor altijd, in elk universum" and "Het maanlicht scheen op je en ik wist direct he is the one" Can you also hear his voice while reading? I think I'm going crazy ahaha I miss him and his boyfriend

fav Robbe dialogue At first instinct I would say "altijd" after Sander asks him if he's going to come back, but I think it's short so I would then say THE phrase "You touched me and I've never felt that before.. Ik hou van je" It's the most sincere sentence he ever said, and I actually had chills while I was crying when I listened to it because Robbe means it and Sander doesn't destroy everything he touches on the contrary...

fav hug I have 2 because I can't choose. The first one is of course the one of Dinsdag 07:27, Robbe caressing Sander's hand while Sander is sleeping and sticking to Robbe, impossible to go closer because he wants to feel Robbe's warmth, Robbe's body.. just Robbe. And the second one is the one of Woensdag 17:21 sooo perfect with the kisses super affectionate, cute, soft and Robbe who rests his head on Sander's hair while this one hums of satisfaction bc he has found his home, it is Robbe. Real soulmates aren't they?

fav 21:21 I am leaning towards Vrijdag 21:21. Woensdag 21:21 is just as good, it's the beginning of their story. But the Vrijdag 21:21 is a big step towards their eternal love story, no more turning back, it's the reunion, it's two soulmates in symbiosis who promise each other their love, it will always triumph because it's the most beautiful one humanity could have known. No more Britt, no more confusion, it's now that everything starts to take shape, it's always been them since the beginning... and then this scene is beautiful, it's clearly art. Also when Sander intertwines fingers with Robbe's it's definitely too much for me. I was so not expecting it and when I saw that I understood that these are really sincere lovers. It's such a true act that gives off incredible emotions, full of love and comfort. Sander seems to say that he is there and that he will always be there for Robbe, it is them welded like the fingers of the hand, no but just think about it one second, I don't have the words... Sander means everything he said before, it's them 100% voor altijd in elk universum. Excuse me I'm crying while writing this...

fav Sobbe instagram pic Idk if it is because we are in the context of the crisis with the virus but I like this picture very much. It's so original, so them, in b&w aka the best filter for them aka love at first sight for me but moreover this pic is so meaningful... It looks like I was waiting to see Sander wearing Robbe in this way ahahah. No but they are the most iconic couple I've ever seen, you don't change a winning team as they say. And then the quote "different supermarket, same love" to make us all emotional :') I'd like to say a lot more but I have to stop, I feel like I'm writing a novel with each answer

fav scene x song pair Here I can talk about Woensdag 21:21, absolutely perfect, Sobbe cycling, their tunnel, they were already in love, their teasing, "nee, better" , the swimming pool, their KISSS and the most important, their song : Wildfire <3 I won't say more, you understood

fav message between Sander & Robbe The messages during wtfockdown are the best!! I selected these ones from the clip Vrijdag 18:37 (Sander does his walk in their tunnel)

Sander: Ik zie u graag, Robin

Robbe: Ik u ook. Niet normaal hard!

In fact they are simple but so passionate and when I look at them I have a big smile because I know they meant it more than anyone else and it's mutual and my heart melted every time they say it, I can't help it

fav banter on instagram Everything!!!

Sterkerdanijzer : Happyiest year of my life😊❤️

Earthlingoddity : Only 99 more to go ❤️

Sterkerdanijzer : 💯

I also really like these ones: s o b b e

--------------------------------------------------

I tag in my turn my cutie @hereforsobbe and @happilyinsane @foxsake5 @jackfrostsander @maade-of-stardust @pepethehobbit @robbesdriesen @vataraxia @remy3010 @sandersdemaury @sanderxrobbee @in-elk-universe-voor-altijd @undcrthesun @annonymannonym @justalina @skam-wtfock-sobbe @gele-gordijnen @debussyatmidnight @artisticsander and ofc the others who would like to do it ! I really enjoy reading you ahaha also feel free to ignore

[child0feden]

BOTH? BOTH!

oscar piastri x silent hill / horror game obsessed! reader x lando norris

faceclaim: assorted

୨୧ some people asked for a part two of this smau due the ending really hinting at a throuple so here it is! it can be read separately or as a continuation as they’re an established throuple here <3 and i know the silent hill 2 remake was announced ages ago but it’s fanfic, let me pretend

reading music recommendations: float up from a dream by akira yamaoka - you’re not here by akira yamaoka

oscarpiastri: this is what happens when i take both of them shopping at the same time…

ynlovesthehorror: we’re peaceful beings :)

> oscarpiastri ✔️: you threw a cucumber at my head…

> landonorris ✔️: can’t handle a little fun osc?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: and you’re no better, you shoved me into the boot of the car!

oscarpastrylover: are… are they all dating now? i feel like this is a little too couple-y…

> landoscaryn: there is no fucking way they’re not all dating… i’ll swear on my hamsters life they HAVE to be dating

> iluvf1: leave the hamster OUT OF THIS LMAO 😭

oldf1lvr: lando and yn be serious for five minutes challenge ( IMPOSSIBLE )

danielricciardo ✔️: cute!

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror, landonorris and oscarpiastri

> landoscaryn: mr man, what do you know? do tell…

landonorris: not too shabby if i do say so myself…

danielricciardo ✔️: happy for you three ❤️

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror, oscarpiastri and landonorris

loveuyn: he really said “you guys still aren’t sure if we’re dating? just have this and leave”

ynlovesthehorror: i kind of look good in these pictures 🤔

> landonorris ✔️: nah, you look like a tramp to be honest

> ynlovesthehorror: die ❤️

landoscaryn: I FUCKING TOLD YOU PEOPLE

> iluvf1: thank god, for your hamsters sake 😭

oscarpiastri ✔️: love you both so much ❤️

> landonorris ✔️: love you more ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: lol, gay ( i love both of you more, now come home so we can make out )

❤️ liked by oscarpiastri and landonorris

oscyn: praying these three never have a kid because you just know yn would FIGHT to name it after a silent hill character…

> landonorris ✔️: fucking hell, don’t give her any ideas…

> ynlovesthehorror: 👩‍🍼 < me and the god i birthed ( we will now build an eternal paradise )

> loveuyn: i don’t think yn realises how niche her references are when it comes to f1 fans 😭

> oscarpastrylover: literally, i think most of them just think she’s clinically insane or something so they leave her be

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

landoscaryn: not gonna shut up about this for MONTHS, my throuple ship is REAL

ynlovesthehorror: just spent hours explaining some of the silent hill lore to lando and every explanation lead to another question from him, i want him DEAD ( also a very good representation of what i want to do to people that say “ it’s ash not snow ” if you ever come into my comment section with that “ lore ” i’ll get lando and oscar to put a brick through your window )

landonorris ✔️: IM TRYING

> ynlovesthehorror: the information is going in one ear and right out the other, honestly, you just need to play them yourself now because i’m DONE

> landonorris ✔️: i’ll play them on stream then, muppet

> ynlovesthehorror: GOOD

> oscarpiastri ✔️: stop arguing you two

> ynlovesthehorror: sorry babe

> landonorris ✔️: sorry love

> oscarpiastri ✔️: ❤️

> landoscaryn: all three of them have each other wrapped all the way around each others finger lmao 😭

maxverstappen ✔️: it’s ash not snow

> ynlovesthehorror: gonna get lando to crash into you

> maxverstappen ✔️: if he can catch up

> ynlovesthehorror: omg??? maxi pad you are a horrible man 💔

> landonorris ✔️: come kiss me to make me feel better 😔

> ynlovesthehorror: on it <3

> oscarpiastri ✔️: me too please

> ynlovesthehorror: nothing happened to you???

> oscarpiastri ✔️: lando whacked me over the head with a lead pipe

> landonorris ✔️: what is it with you two and making up the most unbelievable lies about me 😭

ynlovesthehorror: look at my husband you guys 😩 i cannot believe it, the transmission was actually something fucking good, after years of drought

oscarpiastri ✔️: the most inhuman noise came out of you…

> ynlovesthehorror: I WAS EXCITED

> landonorris ✔️: still, that noise was mental… and i thought we were your husbands?

> ynlovesthehorror: you are! but james was my 1st husband <3

> landonorris ✔️: and was this before or after he killed his wife?

> ynlovesthehorror: ☹️

loveuyn: i feel bad for everyone on the grid and in the paddock because she will not shut the fuck up about this until it releases and when it does release it’ll be even worse 😭

> landoscaryn: right? i’m keeping the engineers in my prayers lmao

danielricciardo ✔️: excited for you yn! i know how much the game means to you ❤️

> ynlovesthehorror: thank you daniel, finally someone that likes me for ME

> landonorris ✔️: ?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: ?

ynlovesthehorror: we finally did it! me and oscar dressed up as james and maria, here are the pictures <3 and a sneak peak of me and lando dressed as james and mary hehe

oscarpastrylover: they need to stop being so hot IMMEDIATELY

landonorris ✔️: you looked amazing love, oscar too i guess… ours is better though 😗

> oscarpiastri ✔️: oi!

> ynlovesthehorror: we all looked amazing :) but especially you two

❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri

> landoscaryn: the way they’re always either bullying and mocking each other or being so sweet and loving on each other kills me, it’s literally just three best friends that kiss

> landonorris ✔️: we do more than kiss, my friend

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

> landoscaryn: oh-

> oscarpiastri ✔️: for fuck sake lando!

oscyn: okay… yeah… i’m so normal about this! SO NORMAL

iluvf1: i have no idea who these characters are but this is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen an f1 driver do i think…

> oldf1lvr: literally 😩 hot in so many ways, hot because lando and oscar LOOK hot and hot because they actually do this stuff with yn instead of not participating in her interests! we love men who do things with their gf

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

loveuyn: that 4th picture… hideo kojima approves

> ynlovesthehorror: what could’ve been 💔 biggest heartbreak of my life

> landonorris ✔️: me and oscar could die in a fire and that still wouldn’t beat the heartbreak that P.T. caused you…

> ynlovesthehorror: well at least you know!

> oscarpiastri ✔️: 😔

landonorris: was on a walk with my boyfriend when we came across this strange creature on the side of the road 😟 took it to get some food and we’re not too fond of it, anyone else want it? selling for 10 quid

ynlovesthehorror: honestly hope you get hit by a bus or something

> landonorris ✔️: no you don’t ❤️

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

danielricciardo ✔️: fucking hell, that second picture is amazing

❤️ liked by landonorris and oscarpiastri

> ynlovesthehorror: :(

> danielricciardo ✔️: sorry yn!

oscarpiastri ✔️: i think it’s sort of cute, in its own weird way ❤️ definitely worth more than £10

> ynlovesthehorror: 🥹

> landonorris ✔️: £11?

> oscarpiastri ✔️: yeah i reckon that’s enough

> ynlovesthehorror: ☹️

landoscaryn: seeing and hearing lando refer to oscar as his boyfriend literally makes my heart explode 💔 i love these three so much

> oscarpastrylover: yep, this relationship is literally a bisexual f1 fan’s dream, just three hot best friends in a relationship

ynlovesthehorror: my boys <3 ( i love thinking about things they’d go to silent hill for )

landonorris ✔️: you ALMOST made a sweet post but then you just had to go and bring up that game, BE NORMAL ( don’t be normal, i love you weirdo )

> oscarpiastri ✔️: just be happy she made a post about us at all, it’s a once in a blue moon occurrence, 99% of her feed is silent hill ❤️ love you both

❤️ liked by ynlovesthehorror

> ynlovesthehorror: at least SOMEONE knows how to be grateful, love you osc ( and lando, i guess 🙄 )

danielricciardo ✔️: you’ve 100% gotten over lando pointing a gun at you and threatening you then yeah?

> ynlovesthehorror: oh that, yeah, totally! he bought me mcdonald’s and more silent hill stuff and toys for heather so we’re all good now <3

> landonorris ✔️: we’re literally DATING, you muppet 😭

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

yn ln being horny on main

[kendallstewy]

A bit late on posting this, sorry my dear, but I was tagged by @woozapooza to list nine comfort films! Only the first two are in order 😊

1. Maurice (1987) - as a tiny queer 14 year old who had no friends - and I mean that quite literally, NONE - this movie was my best friend. I watched it every Sunday to help give me courage for a new week of loneliness. It’s my favorite gay film of all time. I’ve had the god tier pleasure of interacting with Rupert Graves a few times and I have part of a tweet he sent me (“have faith in yourself Xx”) tattooed on my wrist. Sixteen years later, watching this movie still feels like coming home. Literally my warm blanket movie. My heart bursts and I feel reborn. Is there a love that is literally all-consuming? Yeah, I have it for this film.

2. Velvet Goldmine (1998) - here’s another film that feels like coming home when I watch it. I first saw it when I was 17 and it helped me come out as bi to my mom. It got me into glam rock, which was another formative queer thing that helped keep me sane in my loneliness. Watching it obsessively and listening to the soundtrack on repeat were lifesavers. I felt so free. I can’t overstate the impact it had on me. I wore glitter nail polish just to remind myself of it. I was able to interact with the producer once and she kindly retweeted my thanks to her for helping make the film.

3. Les Amants (The Lovers) (1958) - this is my favorite French film, bar none. There is a very slow burn up to a part that is one of the most romantic bits of any film I have EVER seen. Seriously it is drenched in romance and I just bask in it. It feels like it was tailor made for me to feel like I’ve ascended to a higher plane where true love exists. I love watching it alone in the dark, the atmosphere it creates is magical. So soothing, just heavenly.

4. Whisper of the Heart (1995) - this is my favorite non-Miyazaki-directed Studio Ghibli film and definitely in my top 3 Ghibli films. I watched it again this week and it was so calming. It’s one of the best slice-of-life films ever and I adore the characters, especially the heroine. She is very much like me as a young teen and actually still really relatable to me at (almost) 30. It is so uplifting and I feel so at peace living in her world for two hours. The ending is pure joy.

5. God’s Own Country (2017) - another top notch gay film that is really spiritually nourishing. There’s a scene that’s not even a sex scene, it’s just kissing while shirtless, and it’s breathtaking, I think about it at random moments during the day. It’s one of the most tender things ever. In general I adore the two men and the journey Josh O’Connor’s character goes on in his self-growth, it’s really moving. I did love him in The Crown but to me he’ll always be Johnny. I could legit watch this every day.

6. The Lure (2015) - I went through a long period of watching this at one AM every night for weeks. Despite the tragic elements, I feel so happy when I watch the mermaid night club singers perform and then eat men’s hearts. The whole movie is like a patchwork quilt of styles and emotions but it never feels uneven and I love slipping into that crazy world and going along for the ride. It feels so natural to settle into the nuttiness. Also I have a mega crush on one of the lead actresses, so there’s that.

7. The Happy Prince (2018) - again despite the tragic elements, this is another one that I watched every one AM for weeks in order to fight loneliness and find solace in the presence of Oscar Wilde. I saw this in the theater and it was a transcendent experience. It’s visually gorgeous and written in a way that’s so stimulating to my mind without taxing me. I have loved Rupert Everett since I saw Another Country (1984) when I was about 15 and so seeing him give this most magisterial of performances is thrilling. It’s like swimming in beauty.

8. Rocketman (2019) - I saw this five times in the theater. Literally. Five. And I cried. I’m not even a particular Elton John fan although I do love all the songs they used, but the narrative of trying to find self-love without consistently sabotaging yourself is so relatable to me that I feel so connected to it. And of course the acting and music and dancing and costumes are so much fun. I always watch it in front of our biggish screen tv with the volume turned up high so I can pretend I’m in the theater. It’s both exciting and healing which is a potent combo.

9. My Own Private Idaho (1991) - god this is such a sad movie tbh but I feel like River Phoenix’s character is my best friend and I love spending time with him. He’s my favorite actor of all time and he is god tier levels of majestic pathos and gravitas in this. One of the best performances I have ever seen. Ever. I feel so close to his character who wants something so badly and is willing to literally take to the road to find it. It paradoxically shatters and heals me at the same time. Keanu Reeves is fun in it too and he and River are one of my favorite screen duos ever. I watch this every Halloween in memoriam of River.

Thanks Wooza ❤️ I tag literally all my followers. ☺️

[bravadoseries]

first of all i'm completely obsessed with agent cooper lmao, second of all literally everything about your wandavision ocs/plot sounds SO GOOD and like so much better than canon already (though tbh so is your entire marvel-verse), and third of all I don't know if I'm more obsessed with Victoria as Audrey or Oscar as Bruce but HI I LOVE THEMM

omfg i'm so sorry i'm answering this months late but thank you so much ahh !! <3 agent cooper is in cahoots with valentina i've decided, so there's more of him to come

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: THE UNDOING

You guys. Remember that time I said I was going to try to watch new movie releases and do more wig reviews in preparation for the weirdest Oscar season ever? Well instead I watched a lot of prestige TV. So. Here we are! Movies be damned, there are a lot of tv shows with women in bad red wigs and I watched them! The Undoing is one of those shows. Having already suffered through two whole seasons of Nicole Kidman in another David E. Kelley prestige HBO show (AND THE HORROR OF HER WIGS!) I wasn’t sure if I could stomach another one, but you guys - this one is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. It’s in NYC and her wig is curly not straight!!! Let’s discuss (and a whole lot more!) I will be going episode by episode...

Episode 1: The Undoing

First off, I love that this episode name is just the same name as the show. I can already tell we are in for some real creativity with this show! Anyway, we meet Nicole Kidman who probably has a character name but who cares! She is super rich and married to Hugh Grant which I absolutely love as a fan of the Paddington movies - she is the villain in the first one and he is in the second - and this show already feels like a villain supergroup movie because I definitely hate both of them. They’re both doctors, their palatial house looks like a magazine, and they have a seemingly well adjusted tween who doesn’t look like either of them (but he is the kid actor from A Quiet Place and Ford v Ferrari so ok I guess he can act?) Their one problem is that said kid wants a dog but they can’t have one because Nicole Kidman tells the kid that Hugh Grant once accidentally allowed his family dog to run into traffic and his family blamed him and that definitely sounds like a lie! A big little lie!!!

Speaking of which, Nicole Kidman’s wig. As we know from my harrowing journey through her Big Little Lies wig, David E. Kelley likes her as a redhead and I hate all her wigs. This wig harkens back to the 90s when she was still a scientologist and didn’t wear wigs all the time (what a different time!) Unlike back then, Kidman now has a new terrifying face to match her terrifying wigs. Truly, I don’t know what plastic surgeon she pissed off but her mouth is in a constant Joker grin and she is barely able to move parts of her face anymore? The wig is a tangled mess but the true horror is the seamwork - the part is from places not real and also imagined and the texture is something close to a Halloween fright wig.

Which brings me to the real theme of this show: Nicole Kidman’s addiction to midweight duster coats. She owns them all, y’all. We first see her in this green velvet number which looks like a robe, spans no seasons, and also carries you nowhere. BUT paired with this red curly mess, it does look like she is paying homage to Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus, and for that I say: amen. And also: PLEASE PUT A HEX ON THIS ENTIRE SHOW PLEASE.

Now to the plot??? Nicole Kidman sends her kid to a fancy schmancy private school and she is on some fundraiser committee with her only gal pal, Lily Rabe (praise be!) plus some other harpies that definitely won’t matter to the rest of this show at all. Also present is a new interloper of indeterminate ethnicity who has the audacity to be young, attractive, bearing curly hair WITHOUT a wig, and a small child who she has to feed from her own perfect bosom. THE HARPIES ARE SO PISSED BY BREASTFEEDING Y’ALL.

Anyway, this interloper chick is definitely weird and shows up at Nicole Kidman’s gym (where she does rigorous foot pointing exercises and somehow tames her wig back, kind of). The chick approaches Kidman in the buff with a combination of aggressiveness and openness that makes Nicole Kidman really uncomfortable though I definitely choose to believe that she’s mainly intimidated by bitch’s non-wigged hair.

Fast forward to the school fundraiser where Nicole Kidman switches up her midweight duster coat obsession for a friggin cape IF YOU CAN EVEN and all the harpies are present in their best dresses which could all definitely be worn to the Golden Globes and somehow the interloper is there also in a gown. HOW DARE SHE! THE HARPIES ARE PISSED! So is the vile Donald Sutherland (Nicole Kidman’s dad who just HATES Hugh Grant for reasons unknown). 

But Hugh Grant leaves for a medical conference just as....dun dun dun....the interloper is murdered!!! ALSO NICOLE KIDMAN CAN’T REACH HUGH GRANT. Also he left his cellphone in a random junk drawer! I refuse to believe this magazine apartment has a junk drawer! Kidman’s wig magically stays halfway up without use of pins or elastics because that is just how horrifying this wig is! This show is so stupid!

Episode 2: The Missing

So Hugh Grant is fully on the lam and mainly NOT at that medical conference which may or may no exist but Nicole Kidman is not interested in googling it and that hot interloper remains to be murdered. Also Nicole Kidman’s wig is still a tangle of complete and utter nonsense AS IS THIS SHOW. Also this wig has two settings: dried out desert or oily sweat lodge. This episode starts on sweat lodge. Anyway, Nicole Kidman goes looking around for Hugh Grant and only finds more questions at his hospital and then goes to her job where she is kind of an ineffectual couples counselor. Also David E Kelley/Nicole Kidman prestige HBO shows I guess always require some couples counseling that is highly questionable.

ANYWAY! I forgot to mention that the lead investigator in this murder is Edgar Ramirez who is hot but also kind of shifty. He starts questioning Nicole Kidman about all kinds of crap involving Hugh Grant and then lays down some hard truths: HUGH GRANT SUCKS!!! He got fired from his hospital job curing children’s cancer after he got too close to one of his patients’ moms and DUH IT’S THE HOT INTERLOPER. Nicole Kidman has to gather a calming circle of midweight duster coats to even deal with this new development. 

I really love that Hugh Grant is basically just starring as himself in the mid 90s (REMEMBER DIVINE BROWN?) and I’m kind of here for it. Regardless, Hugh Grant is now the prime suspect in this whole mess and Nicole Kidman’s beautiful magazine apartment is now being completely pulled apart and all she can do is look at her terrifying face and touch it with her terrifying talons and pack up all her midweight duster coats and get the eff out of there. BUT TO WHERE?! 

DUH NICOLE KIDMAN OWNS A BEACH HOUSE OBVS. So she drives out there and is somehow able to braid her damn wig! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. THE WIG IS VERY UPSET ABOUT IT AS AM I. She and her tangled tiny braid (she has so much hair in that wig - why is the braid so small??) stare out into the ocean a lot and ignore her child. Also new coat alert and this one is PLAID!!!

And then Hugh Grant shows up and is super creepy and chokey. He tries to explain his actions and confirms his affair with hot interloper which is basically just all a plot synopsis of Fatal Attraction but says that he definitely did NOT murder her. WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT. Nicole Kidman calls 911 anyway. 

Episode 3: Do No Harm

OMG GUYS THIS EPISODE STARTS WITH EDGAR RAMIREZ SHOWING UP AT NICOLE KIDMAN’S BEACH HOUSE IN A HELICOPTER. How much money is the NYPD really willing to spend on Hugh Grant? All of it? Anyway, Hugh Grant ends up in jail (which is not as fabulous as his prison time in Paddington 2) and we find out that he fathered that baby the hot (murdered) interloper had and willfully breastfed in front of those harpies in episode 1. THIS SHOW IS WILD AND ALSO STUPID.

Speaking of wild and stupid, Nicole Kidman visits Hugh Grant at Rikers and we are led to believe that Rikers Island has a COAT CHECK?!?!?! Look: she shows up in one of her millions of midweight duster coats and in the visiting room she has none. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SHOW?!?!?! THIS ALSO HAPPENS TWICE BECAUSE THEY CHECK BOTH HER AND HER SON’S COATS THE SECOND TIME WHAT.

Hugh Grant maintains his innocence and somehow Nicole Kidman’s bent ass wig is convinced and they hire a fabulous defense lawyer which the vile Donald Sutherland is none too thrilled about paying for and spends lots of quiet time at the Frick Museum about it also WTF show you’re willing to pay for the Frick and not frickin wigs. Also Nicole Kidman is confronted by the hot interloper’s husband and it does not go over well. No social interactions in this show make any sense, also.

In the end, Nicole Kidman gets ANOTHER midweight duster coat, Edgar Ramirez questions Nicole Kidman AGAIN but this time with video surveillance footage of her walking outside the hot interlopers studio...the night she was murdered and YES IN THAT DAMN CAPE. WAIT WHAT?! Also even in surveillance footage, Nicole Kidman’s wig is a mess.

Episode 4: See No Evil

This episode introduces the idea that Nicole Kidman really likes taking walks. Long walks, nighttime walks, sleepwalks? Nobody knows, especially Nicole Kidman. When asked why she was walking near the murdered interloper’s studio, Nicole Kidman just kinda shrugs and says “I take walks!” AND EVERYONE BELIEVES HER!!! WTF IS THIS SHOW. It should be noted that this long walks are taken in her usual midweight duster coats (WHICH ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT COLORS AND FABRICS FROM OTHER MIDWEIGHT DUSTER COATS SHE OWNS) and very not sensible boots. Her walks can last between 10 minutes and 10 hours and who is to say where she even goes and who she is followed by? Maybe the interloper’s husband follows her around or maybe it’s in her head? Maybe she murdered the interloper and didn’t quite remember it? Regardless: it’s a lot of walking and it is EXHAUSTING for us all and finally Nicole Kidman just passes out in Central Park after minutes or hours of walking around and a bunch of kids form a literal calming circle around her and my eyes rolled into the reservoir.

This episode is also all about money, hunny! Nicole Kidman has a lot of it - so much that it was revealed in the last episode she didn’t even notice that a lot of it was missing from that time Hugh Grant lost his job and didn’t tell anyone for a few months except the vile Donald Sutherland who loaned him $500K AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THAT MONEY WENT!!!! Well I hope you kept your check book out, Donald Sutherland because now you need to pay $2 MILLION DOLLARS to get Hugh Grant out of jail. Ok? OK. ALSO DO YOU JUST OWN THE FRICK MUSEUM????

So now Hugh Grant just lives in his old magazine apartment which has somehow returned to magazine status after Edgar Ramirez and a thousand cops completely ransacked it. Also now Nicole Kidman and the son live at the vile Donald Sutherland’s house so all is...well? Well no not really because Nicole Kidman STILL HAS THAT DAMN WIG. 

AND THAT ISN’T EVEN THE MOST HORRIFYING PART OF THIS EPISODE! That came when Hugh Grant, now free from jail and left to his own devices, visits the interloper’s widow and children! WHAT IS HE DOING!! Somehow, interloper’s husband lets Hugh in and lets him hold the baby which he fathered. AND THEN HUGH REVEALS HE’S MET THIS BABY BEFORE AND OFFERS TO TAKE CARE OF IT! WHILST ON TRIAL FOR MURDER! THIS SHOW!!!!!

Episode 5: Trial by Fury

WHAT IS EVEN DONALD SUTHERLAND’S APARTMENT?!?! It has a balcony, and it seems to have a balcony cover because no one gets wet when they go out on the balcony and it’s raining. Rich people really live in a different climate zone than the rest of us garbage people. Regardless, Nicole Kidman’s frizzy wig is at PEAK FRIZZINESS on this balcony.

Anyway, the trial of the goddamned century is finally here!! And Nicole Kidman’s wig part still remains an elusive mystery. What is being kept in there? NO ONE CAN SEE ACTUAL SCALP OR ANSWERS. Another question: why did everyone bring their kids to the trial where they could see very upsetting pictures (that I didn’t even look at!) of the murdered interloper. CHILD ABUSE! ALSO! WOULD EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED CABLE NEWS NETWORK REALLY COVER THIS CASE SO CLOSELY??? I guess it’s not an election year in this alternate reality.

Which makes this scene where the whole family dines out and no one bothers them at all the more improbable. Also completely insane? At one point, Hugh Grant just storms out of the dinner and into the bar area of the restaurant (omg remember restaurants?) and Nicole Kidman follows him there and they have a very intense conversation about family secrets literally in the entrance of a busy restaurant. WHAT REALITY IS THIS SHOW IN?!?!?! The family secret? Remember that time Nicole Kidman told their son that he couldn’t have a dog because Hugh Grant accidentally killed his family dog? IT WASN’T A DOG IT WAS HIS 4 YEAR OLD SISTER. WHAT IN THE DAMN HELL!!!!

Nicole Kidman attempts to corroborate this insane story that she has never ever heard before with Hugh Grant’s family who don’t return her calls but do facetime her out of the blue in the middle of the night. Sure! And who is Hugh Grant’s mom? TONY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS ROSEMARY GODDAMNED HARRIS. WHAT. Not only does she confirm that Hugh Grant definitely accidentally killed his sister, but he also was never ever upset by it! Sure looks like Hugh Grant is a sociopath! MMkay!

Oh and then in the final moments of this episode Nicole Kidman finds the murder weapon - a sculpting hammer - in her son’s violin case. THIS SHOW IS A FRIGGIN LUNATIC.

Episode 6 - The Bloody Truth

So at this point in this show, I have fully gone. I don’t even know what is real or fantasy at this point: all I know is that Nicole Kidman’s wig is my nightmare. ALSO! She has a new midweight duster coat and it is the absolute most outrageous - a silk embroidered number you can literally wear NOWHERE EXCEPT FOR THE MURDER TRIAL OF HUGH GRANT.

The main concern in this episode is how Nicole Kidman’s son happened to get ahold of the murder weapon. So he just found it....in the beach house fire pit?!?!?! WHAT A DUMB PLACE TO PUT A MURDER WEAPON WHEN YOU HAVE AN OCEAN INCHES AWAY TO FLING IT INTO! Even dumber: this show wants you to believe that this 12 year old kid would have the wherewithall to put this murder weapon through the dishwasher - TWICE!! Vulture and I both say NAH to that. 

Anyway, Nicole Kidman’s wig which is somehow pushed back with clips unknown spends a lot of time in a robe (or a coat? WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT) making secret phone calls to Lily Rabe (who I am happy is back because she’s kind of the only fun part of this show). WHAT IS NICOLE KIDMAN UP TO?!?!?!

Much like Big Little Lies season 2, it all comes down to Nicole Kidman taking the stand. BORING! Hugh Grant is all but gonna win this thing and then Nicole Kidman gets up there and totally backs him up...until she is cross examined by the prosecuting attorney (WHO IS OLD PALS WITH LILY RABE) and magically knows all about Rosemarry Harris’s facetime! Now everyone knows that Hugh Grant is a child murderer and sociopath! AND HE IS PISSED!

The final sequence of this show is just far too insane to even fathom BUT basically before definitely being found guilty, Hugh Grant texts his son and they meet for breakfast but then breakfast turns into a car chase upstate! It is never explained how Nicole Kidman would allow her son out of her sight OR how Hugh Grant wouldn’t already be tailed by cops but whatever! Also not explained: how Nicole Kidman is able to issue an Amber alert for her kid and then get into a GODDAMNED HELICOPTER and follow Hugh Grant north and then land on the very bridge he’s about to jump off of but WHO CARES!! THIS WHOLE SHOW IS WHO CARES BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT HUGH GRANT WAS THE MURDERER ALL ALONG JUST LIKE WE THOUGHT IN EPISODE 1 AND EVERYTHING ELSE HAS JUST BEEN A MIDWEIGHT DUSTER COAT FASHION SHOW!!! ALSO THE WIG SUCKED! GOODBYE YOU TERRIBLE STUPID SHOW! 

Verdict: Doesn’t Wurq