#I’m leaning Makar but there are Options

[meme-sauce]

Against my better judgment, I turn to Hockey Tumblr for fashion advice

[crow-talks-hockey]

Do I Wanna Know? - an 829 fic from both Nate and Cale's POV (pt 1) [slowburn into established relationship]

Nate had been surprised to say the least when Cale had shown up. He’d had no idea who the kid even was, and Nate wasn’t quick to trust anyone’s skill or ability to fit in with the team. It wasn’t that he was rude or anything, he was just defensive. People had to prove themselves to him, and Cale had passed the test with flying colors; immediately. It was impressive, really. First shift, first goal, and in the playoffs of all things. Cale had only excelled since and Nate’s admiration and love for the defenseman had grown, too. 

It hadn’t been an immediate thing, Nate’s feelings toward the defenseman. It’d been slow, filled with confusion and denial. And it had all started about a year after Cale had joined their organization. Nate had been completely oblivious, unsuspecting. Maybe that was why he still remembered the exact moment he’d fallen in love with defenseman Cale Makar. 

They’d been in the locker room after a win against the Blues, celebrating and Nate had looked over at Cale. His cheeks had been so red, his hair spiky with perspiration, his smile was something Nate would have killed for. Cale had sat down next to Toews and started untying his skates, like everyone else. But Cale wasn’t just everyone else. He smiled as he slipped off his skates, chatting with Devon and laughing. Devon had said something and the defenseman had thrown his head back in that same dry laughter he’d always had. It was in that moment that admiration had hit Nate like a truck. He couldn’t stop staring, he’d completely abandoned the task of redressing and Landy had needed to rattle Nate’s shoulders to get him to snap out of it.

“Nate?” the captain had asked.

Cale met eyes with Nate and he finally looked away. Shit, Nate thought. He turned to Landy quickly. “What?”

Landy looked over at Makar and back to him a couple times, he pursed his lips but didn’t say anything. Nate swore, if the captain brought up him and EJ, Nate might actually strangle him. He just wanted to ditch the feeling and go, not like it meant anything anyway. Cale couldn’t be an option. Cale wasn’t an option. “You zoned out,” Landy stated blankly.

“So? I’m just tired, that’s all,” said Nate with a shrug and he stood.

Landy’s cool blue eyes followed him as he left, Nate could feel the intention and hear it in his captain’s words and he wasn’t having any of it. He quickly exited Ball Arena and clambered into his car. He sat behind the wheel, key hovering at the starter. He paused, threw his keys into the cup holder and leaned back, rubbing his hands across his face tiredly. What was happening? He and Cale were friends, but not… they’d never even… No. Nate started his car and drove home, trying not to think about the defenseman. However, rationalizing that Cale could never reciprocate wasn’t working, because, well, Nate wanted Cale to reciprocate.

It was like someone had flipped a switch and now all Nate could think of was the way Cale’s cheeks flushed deep red during games, the way he smiled so wide. Nate couldn’t stop. He’d gotten home and immediately gone to sleep, eager to throw out any notions of Cale for the rest of the night, even though this new part of him didn’t want to. Not in the slightest. That part of him wanted to think about him constantly. Wanted to hear his voice, even feel his touch. It was consuming. So, Nate had forced it from his mind. The second he’d woken up, Nate had gone out for a crisp morning run and cleared his head.

That had worked, surprisingly enough, for the next few days. He’d been able to play and chat with Cale like normal, well, almost normal. Sure, Nate’s eyes strayed too often and too long to Cale now, but that meant nothing. Nate just wanted to be closer to him. That didn’t mean he was in love, or anything. That was what he told himself, at least. Then, one night, Landy had shown up at his door unexpectedly. Nate had let him in, unassuming.

“So,” Landy had started, sitting down on the couch a couple cushions away from the couch, “how are you?”

“Stop the bullshit, Landy. Just say what you wanna say.”

Landy pursed his lips and nodded, a bit apprehended. “You and Cale.”

“What about him?”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at him. I was the same way with EJ. It killed me to see EJ flirting with other guys, the way he acted with other teammates. It ate me alive, so I tried to deny it all. We all know how that worked out,” said Landy with a faint smile.

Nate shook his head. “I’m not you, and I’m not in love with Cale—” Nate stood, frustrated at Landy acting like he knew exactly how he felt, he didn’t— “We’re just friends. Is it suddenly wrong for me to want to be better friends with him? And even if I did like him, it’s not like he’d love me back. I’ve seen him going on dates with girls before, I’m not an option.”

Landy laughed and raised a brow. “I wouldn’t say just girls, Nate.”

Nate stopped dead in his tracks. No, he’s just messing with you… he wouldn’t— Wait, why was he even considering the option? He wasn’t in love. Nate desperately scrambled for something to break the awkward silence, something that might save his contemplative silence and make Landy think he wasn’t considering Cale being not straight. “What do you mean?” was all Nate could come up with.

“I mean, I know my team and I know Cale.” Landy stood and picked up his jacket, he turned back to Nate. “Think it over,” Landy told Nate with a wink and was gone.

Nate stood in his living room, mouth slightly agape. What did this mean?

~~~

Cale had noticed when Nate started hanging around with him more. It had started a few weeks ago, on that day where Cale had looked up to find the forward’s gaze on him. It was weird, if Cale was being honest, but maybe he was just the one acting weird about it. Nate probably just wanted to be closer friends with him, Cale should be honored. Nate was already pretty touchy with all his team, but being good friends with him? That meant actually getting to know him closer, it meant getting to go out to a bar or to his house to hang out on the off days. Nate didn’t let just anyone do that.

Yet, something still felt off to Cale. Like, Nate was trying to get closer to him for no reason. He was friends with him, sure, but this seemed different. Nate acted differently, closed off like he was trying to impress Cale. It was honestly starting to worry him, so he'd called Landy over and they’d talked.

They’d sat down at Cale’s kitchen table and Cale had fired away with all the questions he wanted. “I don’t understand him, Landy. It’s like he wants to actually form a relationship but he’s so distant. We’ll hang out and it’s like he’s still forty feet away from me. I don’t know what he wants from me.”

Landy had listened through it all, nodding and paying as much attention to all the questions Cale asked as he could. When Cale had finished, he’d paused for a moment before speaking. “Cale, you like guys, right?”

Cale had stopped, confused, he felt his cheeks heat a bit. “Yeah, a little, I guess… how’d you know?”

“I know my teammates. And I’ve seen the way you try your best to look away from us in the locker room when we’re shirtless, and I’ve noticed how awfully you fail.”

“Hey, it’s not that bad, is it?”

Landy shook his head with a laugh. “No, no, EJ’s infinitely worse. Believe me. I couldn’t get him to not look at me if I tried, but that’s beside the point. My point is, Nate likes you.”

“He what?”

Cale’s mind was reeling. Why would Nate like him? That wasn’t possible. Cale put his head in his hands. He rubbed them across his face and stared at Landy, searching for any hint that he was lying. Landy had to be kidding. 

But Cale knew his captain, and his captain wouldn’t make jokes about this. Not when he knew… not when he knew that Cale had put his feelings for Nate aside over a year ago. Cale’s captain stood and tucked his kitchen chair back in. “He likes you, Cale. Now, all I have to ask you is: do you still, too?”

Cale sat there shell-shocked as Landy set his cup of coffee in Cale’s sink. He forced himself to stand and show Landy the way out. He waved his goodbye to him and quickly shut the door behind him. Cale sank to the floor, head back against his door and he pulled out his phone. He opened his messaging app and found Devon’s contact. He typed without thinking.

Hey, uhm… Devon? I…

Cale’s thoughts were screaming. I think Nate likes me. His fingers hesitated over the message, Cale debating if he should type more or if he should even tell Devon at all. No. He backspaced his text and swiftly clicked off his phone, slipping it back into his pocket. Cale sighed. What was he going to do? He couldn’t pressure Nate for anything, and Cale himself wasn’t even sure if he felt the same way for the forward anymore, either.

Landy had to be wrong, that was it; plain and simple. He must have just misread Nate’s feelings and that was the end of it. Cale didn’t want to think about how perfectly it all fit. Nate’s odd behavior around him, the way he actually held back from touching him. It all made sense, but Cale didn’t care. Nate couldn’t possibly love him and Cale couldn’t love Nate. End of story. Landy was wrong, just like Cale had been when he’d first fallen for Nate.

~~~

Nate had barely slept the next couple of days. Landy’s words repeated over and over in his mind like some curse, a dangerous notion that Nate couldn’t ditch even though he wanted to. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Cale had stopped talking with him. They’d played and practiced like normal, but it was like Cale knew because the defenseman had become cruelly distant. It was like torture. Any time Cale had denied going out to eat or had only briefly and awkwardly conversed with Nate, it felt like a knife was being driven through Nate’s chest.

Soon enough, it was affecting the way he thought during games. All the sudden, if Cale didn’t pass to him it was an intentional jab at Nate. If Cale even looked at him, Nate felt like he’d done something wrong. What was worse was that Cale hadn’t even really changed. Sure, he might not want to hang out, but that might be because he had other plans. Nate felt stupid, more than that, he was pissed. Pissed at Landy for toying with him, he felt childish. It was such a dumb thing, too. Landy had just wanted to help, he’d seen how Nate was acting and he’d talked it through with him. It was a nice gesture from a long time friend, something Nate usually wouldn’t have thought twice about if Landy were to be talking about something else, anyone else.

So, Nate had given Cale his space. Turns out, that was what both of them needed. After about a month things were back to normal and any romantic thought of Cale was easily dismissable. Nate could sleep again, he could play normally without thoughts of Cale clouding his mind, and he was able to start hanging out with the defenseman again. Just like normal. Soon enough Nate had practically forgotten he’d ever loved Cale at all. Sure, Nate felt a bit emptier, but that wasn’t because he missed the possibility of Cale loving him, right? He’d moved on. Cale was talking with him again. Nate couldn’t ruin that by letting himself believe he could have the defenseman as his own.

However, a part of Nate still cringed when one day, after an early game, he’d seen Cale by his car with some date. He’d been walking out to the parking lot when he’d seen them. They weren’t even doing anything, but a hot wave of embarrassment and shame still washed over Nate and he felt his cheeks heat. He hadn’t been able to stop staring. Don’t be petty, Nate. You don’t even know that she’s his girl. She could just be a friend, stop acting so stupid, Nate tried to reason with himself. But his mind was reeling with desire and longing again. I wish that were me. 

Nate averted his eyes and got angrily into his car. He started it and cursed under his breath before driving home. He’d made plans with JT and some of the others, but he didn’t care. Right now, he just needed to be home. He could just say he wasn’t feeling up to it, anyway. Which he wasn’t. Nate had gotten home and tried to distract himself, but it wasn't working. Before he could even think about it, Nate was phoning Sid. 

“Yeah?” Sid had asked, not even needing to say hello.

Nate rested one arm on his knee, resting his head on his palm while the other held the phone to his ear. “Hey, Sid… I—” Nate paused, he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t take it anymore, “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Fire away.”

“How do you tell someone you love them?”

~~~

Cale had gotten home from his “date” early. It hadn’t felt right, but then again, not much had ever since Landy had come over and told him Nate might like him. Cale knew it was stupid, trying to avoid his feelings and place them to someone else, but at this point he was willing to do anything. He’d tried staying away from Nate, but that only made the longing for him greater. He’d tried dates. He’d tried everything. So why was Nate so hard to get rid of? Was it because Nate’s touch was something no one else could replicate? Was it the way his passion for his game showed in how competitive he was? Or was it just because Cale was desperate and alone and he was tired of it? 

More than that, Cale wasn’t even sure if Nate could love him back. Cale wasn’t sure he deserved that. Nate deserved better, infinitely better, than what Cale could ever offer. Why bother? Cale had tried to act normal about all of this, but soon enough Devon had caught on. Cale’s phone buzzed and he clicked on the notification.

Something’s been up with you. Do you want to talk?

My house tonight at 7 if you do. Kerry’s going out with some friends tonight, so we’ll be alone.

Of course Devon could tell something was going on. Cale sighed. It would be kind of nice to tell someone about this. Maybe then he could actually shed some light on what the hell he should do. Cale nodded to himself. If he trusted anyone with this information other than the other two lovebirds of the team, it’d be Devon.

I’ll be there.

Good. I’ve been worried about you.

I’ve been worried about me, too, Cale wanted to type, but he clicked off his phone instead. He could tell Devon that later and in person. Now, all he had to do was wait. Cale was good at that, waiting. He had to be. He had to know when to shoot, when to pass, when exactly to skate this way or that. Waiting was valuable, too many people forgot that. Maybe Cale had lately, too. Everything happened when it was supposed to, and— as much as it pained him to admit— maybe this whole dilemma with Nate was like that. Cale just had to be patient and wait for the right moment, and that was something he could do. Something he knew, something that was easy. Hopefully Nate understood that.

Thankfully, time seemed to pass quickly. Cale had grabbed his dinner and then made the short trip to Devon’s place. His house was pretty humble, expensive, but not showy. Cale had never really needed as much space as Devon’s, but Cale honestly liked it. His own home was actually pretty similar to Devon’s, maybe a little smaller. Cale knew some people were bothered by living in a big house all alone, but Cale wasn’t that person. He enjoyed having his space to hang around, and Devon was the same way. 

Devon had shown him downstairs and they’d taken a seat on the couch. He’d already had beers in his hand and Cale laughed. Devon had this nasty habit of knowing exactly how conversations were going to feel, and he was right. “What?” the defenseman had asked with a laugh.

Cale had taken one of the drinks from his hands. “I can’t believe you already knew this might be a rough one.”

“What? No! I wouldn’t assume that.”

Cale shook his head and motioned to Devon. “You literally had the beers in your hand when I opened the door! What do you mean you didn’t assume?” Cale jabbed and Devon waved his hand dismissively away.

“Alright, alright. Now shut up about that and tell me what the hell’s been going on with you. You’re acting even more antisocial than usual.”

Cale shrugged. Should he be doing this? How would Devon feel? He’d been the one to help Cale get over Nate the first time, how was he supposed to admit that it hadn’t worked? He couldn’t just ask for help again, it wasn’t fair. A few tense moments passed and Cale sighed. Might as well.

“You know how I used to have a thing for Nate?” Cale asked, he searched Devon’s eyes for some form of anger or annoyance but he found nothing but focus. Cale paused before continuing, “I… I think I like him again. I don’t know.”

“Okay…” Devon began, “so how is this time any different? You didn’t act like this when you first fell for him, what’s changed? Why’s he getting to you this bad?”

Cale’s breath caught in his throat, panic seizing him. He drew in a few steadying breaths and ran his hands through his hair, cheeks heating. This was so difficult. Why? It was stupid, he trusted Devon more than anyone else with this. He shouldn’t be feeling like someone was actively trying to shrink his lungs and like a hand was squeezing his heart.

Devon was steady and calm. “Cale?”

“Because,” Cale started shakily. He exhaled and restarted, making pleading eye contact with his defense partner, “Because I think he likes me back.”

“Oh.”

~~~

Nate couldn’t get the song out of his head. It was all he could seem to think of and it was playing on constant repeat in his mind. So, naturally, he took any time he had in his day to listen to it and think it over.

“Do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways?

Sad to see you go, was sorta hoping that you’d stay.

Baby we both know that the nights are made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day

Do I wanna know? Too busy being yours to fall

Sad to see you go. Ever thought of callin’, darlin’?

Do I wanna know? Do you want me crawling back to you?”

It was only worsening Nate’s desire. He wanted to tell Cale. He wanted to tell Cale so fucking badly. He wanted to spill all his dark thoughts and longings. He wanted to tell Cale that the reason he hadn’t slept was because he was too busy thinking about what Cale’s own touch felt like. He wanted to pull Cale to his chest and force him to understand his love, but he couldn’t. More than that Nate wanted, above everything, for Cale to love him back. He didn’t even know if it was possible, but neither Sid nor Landy had helped him forget that admitting something like that was a risk. And it was a risk they thought Nate should take. 

So why hadn’t Nate taken that leap? Well, because he was scared. Dead scared. Things were finally normal between them. As much as Nate wanted to say that it was for Cale’s sake, that was another lie. It was for Nate’s sake, for his own hope to still stay friends with the defenseman. It was cowardly. Nate rested his head against his door, about to leave to go to their pregame practice. He closed his eyes, brows furrowed. He wasn’t a coward. He opened his door and got into his car. Today, Nate decided. Today he’d come clean with Cale. No backing out, no nothing. He was going to get this over with. Nate was tired of waiting.

So Nate had practiced like hell. Played like hell. He’d scored, but that didn’t matter. They’d won, but that didn’t matter either. Nate was just glad the night was done. He caught Cale before he left the locker room. “Hey,” Nate had said, gaining Cale’s attention all-too instantly, “you wanna go out somewhere?”

“Oh…” Cale looked back into the hall, eyes trailing Devon out of the room, he turned back to Nate. “Yeah, sure. Why— I mean, where?”

“I don’t know. A bar someplace close. You pick.”

“Alright,” Cale had agreed and after a couple minutes they’d chosen the place. Cale had said his brief goodbye and left Nate to go on his own to the bar before Nate. Nate ran a hand through his hair and exhaled, waiting a few moments before following Cale out of the room.

Landy was leaning on the wall with a smug look on his face. Nate stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned to face his captain who only winked in response. “What. The hell.”

“Ohhh, you should have seen him, Nate,” Landy said, voice laced with a shit-eating grin, “He walked out of here so red. I think I heard him laughing to himself in disbelief as he ran his hands through his hair…”

Landy winced as Nate gave him a swift shoulder punch. The captain laughed. Nate pointed an accusing finger at Landy. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

“And it’s working, isn’t it? You’re blushing, idiot,” prodded Landy. “Now go, he’ll be waiting for you.”

Landy gave Nate a small shove to get him going and before Nate could fully exit the doors he called, “And for the record, he totally likes you back, by the way! You two are gonna be perfect together!”

“Oh, shut up!” Nate shouted with a shake of his head, but he was smiling.

He’d arrived at the bar and quickly found his seat beside Cale. The defenseman had already gotten their drinks, their usual. Nate took his seat and folded his hands a bit nervously together. They chatted as they drank, the conversation blessedly not uncomfortable. Nate had practically forgotten he was going to confess, well, until Cale had reminded him that is.

It’d been a small thing. Cale had simply mentioned one of his old girlfriends that he was still close with and that had set it all off. Nate had barely recovered the conversation but the damage had been done. It was tense after that, Cale awkwardly trying to maintain anything but failing. Not the right time, not the right time, not the right time— Nate’s mind screamed.

Oh, he’d been so stupid. How was this even supposed to work? Why did he think this would work? Nate had finished his drink and they left the bar in silence. Nate got into his car again, a wave of shame and sadness rushing over him. Why had he tried? He was so— Nate cast his eyes skyward, emotion choking his throat. He took a deep breath in, trying to steady himself. He would have failed if Cale— Cale?— wasn’t running up to his car.

Nate snapped to attention. “What the—”

Cale knocked on his window and Nate unlocked the door. Cale scrambled in, cheeks a bit red from running. Cale turned to face Nate, his eyes so warm and loving. Nate couldn’t take it. Cale panted a bit, regaining his breath. “Nate, I— I needed to tell you—”

The world was bright. Nate was suddenly and acutely aware of everything. The condensation on his windshield, the twinkling of car lights and the glow of the street lamps. He noticed the movement inside buildings. The pedestrians chatting on the sidewalks.None of it mattered. Cale was perfect. Cale was here. 

“I needed to say—” Cale was cut off, but it was beautiful.

Nate was leaning in, and Cale had stopped talking. The night went silent, the world held its breath. This was where they were meant to be. Nate closed his eyes, closed the gap between them, and took the leap. Sid was right. It did feel good.

~~~

Cale felt alive. His hand was at Nate’s jaw, he could feel its stubble, stark in comparison to his own smooth skin. Nate’s had its nicks and bruises, Cale’s was perfect and clean. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. He wanted to stop time itself just so they could stay here forever. Everything was warm, beautiful, and perfect. He’d never thought this could even happen, but Nate had proved him so, so wrong. Cale had never been happier to be so. And holy shit Nate was a good fucking kisser. Cale could feel how much the forward wanted him and Cale was all there for it. Cale had known Nate’s love language was physical touch, but this was… this was— Cale smiled and Nate only pulled him closer, determined to stay right here and right now— heaven. Cale laughed, pulling back for the barest moment to breathe before reconnecting with Nate again for a shorter time. He didn’t want to let it stop, but it happened and they met eye contact. Nate was red, smiling, he was perfect. Cale laughed, “Oh my God, you actually— we actually—”

“Yeah,” Nate said and looked around for another moment before blurting, “kiss me again, please.”

Cale felt himself blush an even deeper red. Nate was actually asking for this, it was unbelievable. He’d never even thought— Cale’s mind was in a scramble, so many thoughts ran through his head he couldn’t even hold onto one. So he didn’t think, he just obliged. Cale could tell Nate had wanted this for a while, he’d spent so much time intentionally trying to make sure Cale wasn’t uncomfortable if Nate touched him and now… now he didn’t bother. Nate was as intense as a forest fire, and Cale was loving it. Cale was loving Nate.

Cale’s ribcage was digging into the armrest, absently it hurt. Cale pulled himself up, closer. His head hit the light above him and it clicked on. Cale opened his eyes and he laughed, Nate had stopped kissing him and he’d rested his forehead against Cale’s. Nate rubbed his thumb over Cale’s knuckles with a grin. He’d never seen the forward so radiant, happy. “Thank you,” he muttered.

“How long have you been waiting to do that?” Cale asked, words almost nonexistent. He felt like he was floating, like if he let silence rest too long he’d awake from some dream. 

Nate shrugged, his eyes warm as realization crossed over them. “Forever, I think.”

“Then why didn’t you do it sooner?” Cale exclaimed with a dry laugh, he swatted at Nate’s shoulder playfully.

Nate drew back, falsely offended. He shook his head and looked back at Cale. Silence fell, Nate’s crystal clear blue eyes studied him, searching Cale for the answer. The faintest smile danced across his perfect lips. “I don’t know,” he whispered.

Cale felt desire course through him and a new wave of heat crossed over his cheeks. He didn’t bother saying anything. He wanted to tell Nate that he was wanted now. So he scooted forward and gave Nate one last kiss, determined to make him his. Nate seemed surprised by it. Cale was surprised, too. He’d never had this with anyone else. Any love had been half-hearted and Cale hadn’t liked touch. But with Nate? Oh, with Nate, all Cale wanted to do was feel and touch and love. He loved it. Cale kept Nate there for as long as he wanted, and the forward didn’t fight it. A small amount of pride crept into Cale’s chest at that.

Cale drew away and as he opened Nate's passenger door with one hand, he let his other stray at the underside of Nate’s chin. He could feel Nate swallow, he could feel his jaw tick as he made eye contact with Cale. Cale smirked a bit and stepped out into the fresh and cool Denver air. He shut the door and lifted his eyes skyward into the stars. He ran a hand through his mussed hair and adjusted his jacket, putting up the hood to hide his face from Nate, who would no doubt be watching his every move.

Cale was about to find his way to his car when he heard Nate’s door shut. “Cale!” Nate called, catching his attention and he jogged towards him.

“What?”

Nate didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around Cale. The defenseman stiffened a bit before melting into the embrace, he threw his own arms around Nate’s shoulders and buried his face into Nate’s T-shirt. Nate gave him a tight squeeze. “Thank you,” he said.

Before Cale could reply, Nate had turned and was starting his car. Cale stood, thankful for the chill, and watched Nate drive away. He smiled to himself. “Yeah… no problem.”

Cale lingered for a few, leaning against the large lamp post as he pulled out his phone. He searched around his screen a bit scatter-brained before finally opening up his contacts and calling Devon. It went to voicemail. Cale shook his head. Old man. He called Landy instead, half-expecting him not to answer too as it was pretty late, but the captain responded almost immediately.

“Heyyyyyy,” Landy greeted, something sly in his tone.

“Hi,” began Cale, trying to stay composed even though he knew Landy could probably hear his smile, “I have something to tell you.”

“Oh, do tell. Me and EJ have been dying to hear it.”

Of course EJ was there… Wait, hear it? Why did he sound like he knew— Cale rolled his eyes. Why wouldn’t Landy know? He pinched the bridge of his nose before responding, acting a bit defeated to try and throw them off, “Me and Nate.”

“Shit.” EJ, Cale noticed. “He didn’t do something stupid, right? I swear if he—” Ej was cut off by Cale’s laugh. “Oh, you little jerk!”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s fine, we’re fine. Great, really. I just can’t believe you two. How on earth did you guys know?”

Landy spoke next, “We’re like sharks, and you guys are the blood in the water. We don’t miss, ever. Also, I overheard you both chatting in the locker room, but that isn’t the point.”

Cale sighed, he should have known. He closed his eyes for a few moments before EJ butted in again, “So, how did it go? Like are you… y’know?”

Cale paused for a moment. Were they? Nate seemed to think so, but Cale could just be assuming the best. He didn’t know what Nate wanted from him, Cale wasn’t quite sure what he was wanting from Nate either. Could they honestly be together, or was that just setting them up for failure? Cale took in a deep breath, he was over-analyzing again. He fiddled with the ring at his neck and bit his lip a bit before nodding to himself. Just say what you think, what you know you feel. “I— I’m not sure. I don’t know yet, but…”

“Yeah?” Landy prodded over the phone and Cale could hear its mirth.

“But I do want him. I want us, I mean.”

“That’s my man! Hell yeah! That’s so good, Cale. I’m glad. It was killing me—” Landy must have received some glare from EJ because he corrected himself— “us to see you both like this. We wanted things to work out. We’re happy for you. How’s Nate taken it? He run off?”

“No, actually we— well, we kinda left the bar separately but I found his car and I was going to tell him and he… he kissed me.” There was silence for a moment and Landy let him continue. “It was amazing, Landy. I’ve never felt like that before. Ever. I didn’t know love was supposed to feel like this.”

“It’s good isn’t it? To not feel alone, to know that no matter what,” Landy paused for a moment and Cale could only imagine the look he was giving EJ, “you have someone. Always.”

“Yeah,” breathed Cale. “Yeah, that’s exactly it… Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Cale said his goodbye and hung up, pocketing his phone and making his way to his car. He drove home, listening to his romance playlist. Just as he was about to go to bed, his phone buzzed. It was Nate.

I love you.

…

Cale hesitated typing for a moment. He shook his head to himself. Screw it.

I love you too.

Cale went to Nate’s contact info. He gazed at the picture of Nate he had as his profile before clicking on Nate’s name and adding on to it. It now said: Nate <3. Cale smiled. It was simple, but it was nice. Nothing too cheesy, just something that satisfied what Cale was feeling. He clicked off his phone and fell into perfect, undisturbed sleep for the first time since he’d fallen for the forward. Life wasn’t normal in the slightest, it never had been, but Cale finally felt good. This was an abnormality he was happy to welcome into his life. Nate loved him, and that was the best out-of-the-usual gift he could ever receive. 

Cale felt whole.

~~~

Nate had shown up to practice radiant for the first time in what felt like months. Landy had been there and all he’d needed to do was give Nate a warm smile as he dipped his head and pointed out to the rink. He must have been one of the first ones there. Nate’s gaze followed where Landy was pointing. Cale was out on the ice skating, Nate’s expression melted into admiration as he watched. Then, he got ready as quickly as possible just so he could join Cale for a short time alone. 

“Hey,” Nate greeted.

Cale’s face was already red, but Nate could have sworn it got just a bit deeper in that moment. Maybe he was crazy. Cale said hello back and Nate joined him in skating. The others slowly filed in and they went through practice like normal. Nate was just glad that the others were dismissing his obvious flirting with Cale from the ice or the bench as him just being funny, or maybe they just didn’t care.

Nate left the ice shortly before Cale, but when he was ready to leave he lingered. Cale was talking with some of the others beside him, but his eyes strayed to Nate often, telling that he was thinking the same thing. Cale halted when Devon and Val motioned for them to go. “You guys go ahead. I’ll meet you there, just give me a sec’.”

Nate smiled and Cale turned to him. Nate crossed to Cale and pulled him a bit closer. Cale’s cheeks flushed instantly, he slowly moved his fingers around Nate’s bicep with a faint smile. Nate could tell Cale was thinking about saying something, so he waited and didn’t push him for it. After a few more moments of Cale simply studying Nate lovingly, Cale asked, “Nate, are we— do you want to be…?” Nate laughed faintly as he watched Cale trying to find the words. “Nate, are we boyfriends?”

Nate felt his face heat, he grinned. “Yeah,” he breathed, “yeah, I think we are.”

[hockeylvr59]

Hi. Number 1: taking a rain walk with cale. You can choose the time. Thank you !

So with all the UMass content I've been digging up I decided to take a trip back in time with this one. So we're setting this fall 2018 when Cale was a sophomore at UMass. I'm lowkey in love with this one. Big thanks to @bqstqnbruin for the help with this plot concept. (1,610 words)

~~~~~~~~

Ellie was so going to owe you for this. Dodging beer spilling out of a cup, you pushed your way through the crowded frat house, wincing as the volume of the music somehow got even louder. Your roommate Ellie had made plans to meet a guy here tonight and she’d pleaded with you to come with her in case he didn’t show or things didn’t turn out how she expected. But, as soon as she had spotted him in the crowd upon your arrival, she had disappeared and you hadn’t seen her since. That had been nearly two hours ago. Like a good friend you’d sent her a text twenty minutes or so ago checking in and you had just gotten a reply of a thumbs up and that they had left to go to a diner off-campus.

Of course, they had. A heads-up text would have been nice.

Though you wanted to be mad at her, it was hard to be when you knew how excited she had been for this date. Still, a packed frat house on a Friday night was one of the last places you wanted to spend your time. Trying to weave your way toward the door, you tripped over something and landed smack against a solid chest. A pair of hands quickly reacted, catching you and helping you regain your balance. Quickly you mumbled an apology, though it wasn’t your fault there was a drunk person sleeping on the floor with their leg in the middle of the path.

“No worries, you okay?” A deep voice questioned, causing you to look up. When you did, your eyes met a pair of reddened cheeks that were familiar to anyone on campus who didn’t live under a rock.

Cale Makar.

The hockey team’s superstar defenseman who was back for his second season despite the chance to make the jump to the NHL.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” You stated, snapping out of your daze. “Just need to get out of here.”

Cale’s gaze softened in concern and he quickly worked using his taller frame to clear a path for you until you reached the slightly less crowded front porch. It was still loud outside but at least you didn’t have to scream to hear yourself think. Slowing, you leaned against a railing just trying to catch your breath and rid your senses of some of the stench of cheap alcohol. You didn’t expect him to stay close so when he leaned against the railing beside you, you were slightly surprised.

“Did we have Western Thought together last fall?” He asked after a moment, the question catching you off guard. You thought back to your schedule last year and then bit your lip considering that query.

“Was that Tuesday/Thursday morning, Herter Hall?” Cale must have nodded because he spoke again a moment later, a smile evident in his voice.

“I thought you looked familiar.” He mused, offering out a hand. “Cale.” He greeted, introducing himself officially. Introducing yourself in return, you asked him what he had thought about the ridiculous question that had been on the final for that class. You may not remember much but that question had screwed over half the class and you certainly hadn’t forgotten the stress you’d felt waiting for grades to drop after that exam.

That question sparked an entire conversation and before you knew it, it was almost 1am.

“I should really head back to my dorm.” You admitted a bit reluctantly. “Thanks for the chat and making this party not a total bust for me.” You joked, looking up at the sky which was starting to look like rain.

“What dorm are you in?” Cale asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Grayson.” You replied with a shrug even as Cale’s eyes went a little wide.

“I’ll walk you.” He immediately declared.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.” You assured him. Grayson was all the way across campus and you weren’t sure where he was living.

“I’ll walk you,” Cale repeated, signaling that he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. “It’s late and you shouldn’t walk across campus by yourself, not with all these idiots around.” The way he phrased his explanation showed that he knew you could handle yourself but that didn’t mean that you should have to.

“Fine. Thank you.” You declared, shooting him a slightly exasperated look. Cale gave you a semi-dimpled smile and motioned for you to lead the way. As you walked toward the admin building and fine arts center you continued chatting about everything and nothing all at once. Conversation came easy and even if you didn’t want to admit it, you were a bit taken at how smart Cale was.

You had reached the western edge of the pond, with the intention of cutting across the northern shore to make your way to your residential area, when a loud boom sounded across the sky out of nowhere. Before you could even react, torrential rain was pelting you both, soaking you to the bone. Quickly, Cale herded you over toward the library and inside. The building was quiet as he guided you up to one of the study floors murmuring that you should wait out some of the heavy rain. Knowing that you really should get home and to bed, you wanted to protest but then a flash of lightning cracked across the sky. Maybe you should wait out the storm a little bit.

Moving into a study room overlooking the pond, you shivered slightly from the air conditioning blowing through the building.

“Come here,” Cale murmured from the spot on the floor where he had settled. For a moment you eyed the chairs but then decided maybe you shouldn’t get them soaked too and the floor was probably a better option. Though you sat with some space between you and Cale, it wasn’t long before he was tugging you closer murmuring that he can’t keep you warm if you’re so far away. With another chill racing up your spine, you shifted to press against him, sighing softly at the warmth he radiated even through wet clothes.

The two of you sat in silence for a while before you heard Cale murmur your name softly.

“Yeah?” You questioned, trying not to yawn.

“Did you know that the architect of this building forgot to account for the weight of the books in his plans and that’s why only every other floor has them?” Cale stated.

“One that was totally random.” You teased softly. “Two, that’s 1000% a myth.”

When you peeked up at Cale, his cheeks were even pinker than before and they matched his lips as he did this little mindless tick you had picked up on already.

“Totally true.” He defends softly, making you giggle slightly.

“It’s not but that’s okay, you aren’t the first person to buy that myth.” You assured him. Though you didn’t notice, Cale’s face fell into a bit of a frown and he murmured under his breath that there goes trying to impress you.

Watching the rain again, you couldn’t help but yawn. Slowly your head drifted down to rest against Cale’s shoulder and you must have dozed off because the next thing you knew, Cale was murmuring your name again, trying to wake you.

“C’mon sleepy. The rain has let up a bit. This is probably our best chance to get you home.” He explained, urging you to sit up before he moved from underneath you and then pulled you up onto your feet.

Leaving the library, you started walking again through the rain, Cale chattering non-stop. You were sure it was his attempt to keep you awake and you appreciated it. At the same time though, his voice was so soothing, you almost wanted to curl right back up against his shoulder and fall asleep while he talked to you.

By the time you finally reached your dorm, it was nearly 2:30 in the morning. With the rain, a normal half-hour walk had taken three times as long. Standing in a sheltered overhang, you turned to thank Cale for making sure you got home safely.

“Definitely the most interesting first date I think I’ve been on,” Cale replied with a tired smile, his eyes still somehow bright. When your brain processed his words, your jaw dropped.

“Date?” You prodded causing Cale to hum and shrug, glancing down at his watch.

“I mean we’ve spent the last three and a half hours together talking and walking through campus. Pretty sure we can call that a date.” He insisted. Butterflies swarmed in your stomach and you ran your fingers through your wet hair. Cale was calling this a date. That was...wow.

“A date huh…” You finally breathed. “Guess that means I better get a good night kiss. Though technically it’s definitely early morning now.” Cale’s fingers slid around your waist to press against your lower back gently as he crowded closer into your space and after a moment of his eyes searching yours, he leaned down for a kiss, his lips pressing against yours chastely but firmly.

One kiss turned into two and then three before your yawning caused Cale to pull away. After asking for your number so he could take you on a non-rain date, he kissed your cheek and murmured for you to go take a warm shower, put on dry clothes, and then get some sleep.

Your lips still tingled slightly as you climbed into bed and you couldn’t help but think that maybe you were the one that was going to have to owe Ellie.

[morphituu]

Milagro

Chapter 16: The Hidden Race

Ch: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15

“Okay okay,” Nick cleared his throat, shimmying his shoulders before taking Callie’s small hands in his and leaning forward to press their foreheads together.

Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh- but as soon as he caught sight of the grin she fought, he was following it with a loud snort and a barely contained smile.

“I can’t do it,” he whined while pressing his face into his palms. “You keep making faces,”

“I’m not making anything, it’s just my face!” Callie defended.

“It looks funny!”

Her eyes narrowed. “My face is funny looking?”

“Yeah cuz you keep making faces,”

“Might I suggest,” the photographer interjected, raising his hand. “We try a different position?”

The couple looked at him, Callie’s global stomach in Nick’s hands where she was perched in his lap before the silky backdrop that had been set up in their living room for the maternity photos they all had been struggling through the past hour.

“Does he have to keep looking at my funny face?” Callie mouthed off, ignoring the roll of Nick’s eyes.

“Nope!” the young man stood with his impressive camera in hand, smoothing down his slacks.

She looked to Nick skeptically who in turn appeared willing, and he carefully hoisted her up once she slid back from his lap.

“This is better,” Nick spoke against her stomach, his arm hung loosely over her side and their thighs stacked as the photographer fluffed the plush comforter around the pair.

Callie wiggled this way and that, asking Nick to stuff part of the blanket under her for support when his other arm alone didn’t offer enough. Finally they punched enough pillows into submission and layered enough blankets for the sunlight coming through the window to cast over them beautifully in the late afternoon.

“Okay, y’all ready?” the young man asked as he ascended a ladder, secretly pleased with himself for setting up such a picturesque moment so hastily.

“Ready,” Callie exhaled with a final wiggle deeper into the bedding.

His hold on the camera adjusted as he peered through the viewfinder, twisting the lens delicately. “Okay Nick, let’s have you put your hand back on her thigh?”

Nick listened, the vibrant red of the roses across her hip and thigh striking against his dark, mottled skin.

“And Callie, your hand over your stomach?”

Just as she’d done so, Nick pressed a secret, tender kiss to the top of her stomach when Leo nudged, lost in the moment and forgetful of the camera looming overhead.

“Just like that, don’t move!” the photographer instructed, squinting through the viewfinder and his camera clicking rapidly in a flurry of shots.

The arm under his head shifted, and Nick purred when her hand stroked the back of his head, craning his neck back to press his head under her chin.

“You two are very photogenic,”

Nick scoffed. “You mean she’s photogenic,”

“You have a very nice side profile,” he emphasized, curled over the ladder to take advantage of more extreme angles.

Callie caught the beginnings of a blush, tapping his carved cheek until he chuffed. “I told you you were pretty,” she whispered.

The flat glare she met once he looked up stirred a giggle, but he maneuvered his head back down in time for the photographer to take another round of pictures, directing their hands and even managing to get one of them looking at each other before the giggle fits returned.

“Alright, give it about two weeks and I’ll call when they’re ready.” The young man smiled, handing over the receipt and business card to Nick as he was walked to the front door.

Callie gave her most convincing smile until the door was closed, and then her arms dropped, a deep breath falling past her lips as she waddled to the couch. In record time the tights she’d slipped on to remain presentable after the shoot had finished were pushed down her legs, then the tanktop that felt like spanx against her hot skin was tossed off to leave her in the bralette and panties, and remembered this time to flip on the ceiling fan before lowering herself slowly into the couch, her body melting into the cushions.

Nick came back around to spot her taking in deep breaths and exhaling slowly, her eyes slid shut and brows furrowed in discomfort.

“Cramps?” he leaned on his hands against the armrest to gaze down at her.

“Hot flash and angry kicks,” she groaned, looking at him through one eye she could barely manage to keep open.

“Want the AC on?”

“Nooo,” she lamented. “Even with it on they still suck,”

Nick squatted beside the arm rest, his chin atop his folded arm while one of his wide palms rested where Leo shoved, keeping his amused smile at bay while she so clearly struggled through the discomforts of late pregnancy.

“Are you gonna be okay?” he asked in concern.

“Oh yeah. My ass is staying planted here the better part of the day,” Callie grinned, wincing when Leo tried standing. “Come talk to your son so he stops punishing me,” she groaned, arching back into the cushions.

Nick eagerly crawled around the couch and kneeled between her thighs although she protested against the heat of his body, pressing his cheek to her round stomach.

“Leonardo Makar, you listen,” he started, a solid kick pushing against his chin. “You don’t have much longer until you can come out and stretch those legs, but you need to take it easy on your mama. You’re gonna end up bursting from her stomach like an alien if you keep it up,”

“That’s horrifying,” she chuckled.

“Just a little bit longer mausan boausan,” he kissed, rubbing his cheek there.

“And then you can carry him,”

“I’ll never put him down,”

“Until your arms get tired,” she giggled. With his arms wrapped securely around her waist and gazing up at her big caramel eyes with his chin atop her stomach, it gave her the chance to canvas the deep tiredness in his eyes, and how they started to slide shut when she dragged her nails across his scalp.

“They’re getting worse,” she mumbled, but he only shook his head.

“They’re just back is all,” he corrected.

“You know you can talk to me about them, so they’re not stuck up here,” she tapped his temple.

“No. I don’t want to talk about them,” he groaned, hiding his face.

“You wake up screaming, baby,”

“And then I see you and I’m fine,”

“Nick,”

He reluctantly looked up again, knowing there was no escaping when she held his face, but why would he want to when her thumbs stroking under his eyes was so lulling?

“Talk to me,” she begged quietly.

He barely shook his head. “You don’t wanna know what I dream about,”

“I do if it means some piece of mind for you,”

He shrugged before standing. “I’m okay. I have more important things to worry about,”

“Like what?”

“Learning how to swaddle,” he grinned cheekily before walking into their room, leaving her to stretch across the couch with a defeated sigh.

The terrors that gripped him in his sleep had worsened since the time they’d first developed, but his refusal to seek any more help after what he called ‘useless therapy’ and sleeping medication that drowned him enough to slumber through a few morning alarms was the battle that needed to be fought first. There wasn’t any use scheduling appointments or showing the options until he was actually willing.

“Nick! Nick!” she tried screaming over his roars, his thrashing arms flinging into her stomach and chest as she fought to still him. A hard blow landed against her cheek sent her back into the sheets, tears springing to her eyes when the throbbing started to crawl across her face. She kicked back from him when his legs thrashed, but this couldn’t go on.

One of his wild kicks came deathly close to her stomach, but when he’d twisted onto side, she dared the chance to throw herself over him and sit over his stomach.

“Nick!” she yelled, grabbing for his face, but his sharp teeth grazed her palm, slicing easily through her skin. Callie flinched back, blood already pooling in her grasp, but she bit back the anxiousness firing to every end of her body to raise her unscathed hand and swing it against his cheek.

Nick’s eyes flew open, the last of a forlorn holler choked down as he acclimated to his surroundings.

His wide, reflective eyes bounced around in the dark until they landed on her above, the pair panting, dazed, and trembling.

He gazed up at her past the hair tousled before her face, about to ask what had happened, when he tasted the blood on his teeth. He flinched back from his own fingers once he touched his lips, looking back to her frantically.

“What did I do?” he breathed, sliding from beneath her.

“It’s okay-”

“Show me,” he demanded, reaching to turn on the lamp. She angled her chin down to hide her cheek that was still ringing, but Nick had already seen the deep red that would bleed purple and green soon enough. He angled her jaw, his face sorrowing.

“What did I-” he gasped, the fresh spice of her blood bringing him to her palm.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” she pulled her bloody hand back, but his tired eyes were brimming with hot tears and unspoken apologies, his ragged breaths quickening.

“I’m- I’m so sorry,” he hiccuped, grabbing the sheet to press against her hand. “I’m so so sorry-”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she had his face again, her brows lined with determination, and although the pain was creeping into her eye, their gazes locked. following his head when he tried looking away in shame.

Nick’s head shook the farther it dropped, his shoulders shaking.

“Baby it’s okay,” she implored, trying to sit him upright, but he was already sobbing silently.

Callie surrounded his wide shoulders as best she could, echoing to him that all was well, but he was too far gone in his own guilt, not to mention the vivid nightmares still playing on loop in his mind.

Nick had lost himself in the memory as he stared at the disheveled bed; embarrassment was what reigned supreme over him now, but if he thought on it long enough, the guilt could blind him.

Callie was right, something needed to be done before it was Leo he ended up swinging into, but Nick couldn’t bring himself to even whisper the horrible images that played before him as he slumbered. He felt if he spoke of them and the way they made his stomach roil at just the mention of them, it would give them greater strength, if that was even possible.

“Get your foot out of there!” he heard Callie lament, and a grin cracked across his face.

Maybe Leo would be the solution, he pondered as he pulled on his shoes.

With the troubling thoughts pushed to the back of his mind to deal with another time, he came out into the living room again to find her moving objects across the kitchen bar around, but this had been the third time this week she’d found a new way to arrange the cups that held their pens and loose change, and now incense burners were perched at each end.

Nick watched over her shoulder as he grabbed his keys from the hook, his brows perking up when she placed her hands on her hips with a low puff and turned to look up at him.

“Restless?”

“I’m losing my mind, honestly,” she started swaying side to side when Leo spun. “And he keeps kicking me in the ribs,” she whined, pushing down on her stomach.

“We should set up the glider so you can relax while you rock him,”

“I was gonna call your mom to ask if she’d come help me with that today, actually,”

Nick’s ears twitched, his lips pulling into a straight line. “Don’t mention the house hunting,”

“You haven’t told her yet?” Callie griped, and he shook his head stiffly. “Do you not want to anymore?”

“No I do, but it’s a long stressful process and I’m just-”

“Tired all the time?” she interjected, lightly smacking his side when he lolled his head back to avoid her perceptive eyes. When she waited stubbornly, he looked down to her, eventually nodding.

“Gimmee a kiss,” she desired, stood on her tippy-toes to meet him halfway once dipping down to capture her mouth. She moaned appreciatively when he placed small repetitive pecks there, holding her small face and chuckling when her eyes fluttered drowsily.

“I gotta go,” he groused, resting a firm kiss on her cheek. “I love you,”

“You can’t avoid the topic forever,” she fought, but received a playful chuff in return, stepping towards the door with a final graze across her stomach.

He knew, and took her pleas seriously, but staring at her cheek that was bruised beneath the cover-up caused a wide stir of emotions he couldn’t take to work that day.

“I’ll figure something out, okay?” he tried reassuring, but her nod was still stiff, her mein anxious.

“Be safe,” she pouted, stirring a grin from Nick.

“Always am.” With that he left, leaving Callie to waddle back to the couch for a quick nap as he loaded into his truck.

↠

It wasn’t until he was walking through the back doors of the precinct did Nick realize that his bag was much lighter than usual because he’d forgotten the lunch Callie had packed for him, and when he turned down the hall towards the lockers his shoulder clipped the wall, further aggravating his already testy state of mind.

It was only the early afternoon and his sleep deprivation was catching up to him, his hands clumsily punching the buttons for an energy drink at the vending machine outside the lockers. The human ones were tame compared to the Orkish selection they conveniently never refilled, but it was the best he had to hopefully keep him going the rest of the day.

The drink was thrown back in a few mighty gulps, the can crushed in his fist before tossing it away as he wound his way through the lockers until coming up on Sergey who was already half dressed in his uniform.

“Lagging it today old man,” he teased, removing the ring gauges from his ears to fit the solid ones in.

“Shut up,” Nick yawned.

Sergey glanced over while Nick sluggishly pulled his pullover off. His brows curled in curiosity.

“Already feeling the sleepless nights before Leo is here?”

Nick eyed him; should I tell him? “Gettin’ it in before he gets here,” he smirked sleepily.

That was a lie. His exhaustion had all but muted his sex drive.

“You hound,” Sergey’s nose scrunched, his own smirk playing. Although Nicks excuse was false, Sergey and Dura were in fact squeezing in as much time as possible before Mariak was born, which wasn’t much farther than Leo’s own due date.

“Hey Jakoby,”

Nick turned mid pull of his undershirt down his body to find Tuvets, a heavyset officer he’d not really interacted with much waddling towards him, his uniform unbuttoned and beer belly hanging over his belt. He withheld a shudder; gotta cut back on the drinking.

“You handing these out?” Tuvets smiled, a bit winded. Handed over was the baby shower invites Nick had been passing around very choosingly, so the fact he had one was unsettling. Never did he think to give him one.

“Why do you have this?” Nick questioned, placing it in his locker despite the officer keeping his palm up for it’s return.

“Ahh, I saw it in Campos’s locker and took a look,” he laughed, waving off the invasion of privacy that Nick clearly disliked. “Being a little stingy with those invites, aren’t ya?”

Nick growled below his breath. “I don’t talk to many people here,” he decided to go with, flatly that was. He even kept his face in his locker to show how little he wanted to interact, but these kinds of people just didn’t understand social cues.

“Maybe if you tried talking to other people besides the string-bean once in a while,”

“Fuck you, Tuvets,” Sergey called from behind, flattening the velcro of his vest along his sides.

“Ah take a chill pill,” he waved him off. “I’m just saying, people think you’re a little… snobby the way you don’t try t’talk to anyone,” he went on, leaning closer despite Nick reclining.

“Oh that’s it?” Nick replied sarcastically.

“See like that! Try smiling once in a while too,” he beamed, his stained teeth making his stomach roil, not to mention the permanent beer breath many others leaned far away from if they were unlucky enough to be pinned by an unwanted conversation.

Nick chose not to answer, instead just nodding and going about buttoning up his shirt.

He knew Tuvets was lingering, but didn’t know why. He hoped if he stayed silent he’d finally get the hint and waddle off, but when the round man leaned back against the lockers, Nick dreaded knowing it meant he still wanted to talk.

“Hey uh… can I ask you something?”

There it is. “Hm?” Nick mumbled. Maybe if I ignored him he’d leave...

Tuvets glanced around them, leaning farther in. “Why’d you choose a human?”

Both his ears and eyes flickered in confusion. “What?”

“I mean, why didn’t you… y’know,” he rocked his hips. “With an Orc instead of a human?”

“How is that any of your business?” Nick snapped, his voice rising.

“It’s not, it’s just something most of us can’t figure out,” he tried to act innocent, but Nick knew it was either a weird kink of his or more bigoted nature coming forth. “I don’t mean anything offensive. Just can’t figure out why you didn’t stick with Orcs,”

“I don’t know- when you met your wife did you consciously tell yourself you only wanted human?” Nick retorted.

“Well no but-”

“No buts. It’s the same thing,” he made his tone final, his hardened expression hopefully conveying that he wanted nothing more to do with this conversation as he turned back to his locker.

The small breath of silence nearly convinced Nick that he’d gotten the point and would wander away, that was until he spoke again.

“But you had to have known having a halfling was wrong,”

Even Sergey’s head snapped to attention when that floated through the locker room, but Nick was already fuming, his pupils pin-sized and back straightening as a more combative side started to cloak over him.

“What the fuck does that mean?” he growled, his voice rippling.

Tuvets side-stepped uncomfortably. “It’s just something that you don’t do, you know? They’re not appropriate-”

“But pale faces can fuck their cousins and siblings?” Nick boomed.

“That’s a far leap-”

“Farther than spitting shit that has no evidence to back it up?” Nick snarled, angrily stepping towards him.

“Forget it Nick, c’mon-” Sergey tried pulling him back, but he pulled his burly arms from his grip roughly.

“Jakoby chill, I’m sure your halfling will be fine-”

“His name is Leo!” Nick shouted, right in Tuvets’s face now who flinched away from the thundering voice and sharp teeth bared at him. “I’ll skin you alive if you ever mention him again you disgusting sack of shit.” Nick finished, his chuff forceful enough that it blew spit in Tuvets’s face.

At last Sergey managed to pull Nick away, silencing the low Orkish mutters he still emitted while his eyes kept steady on Tuvets.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, brother,” Tuvets grinned, but Sergey’s hand on his chest stopped him from getting to Nick again.

Although Sergey felt the same annoyance that was meager compared to Nick’s fury, he pleaded with his softer golden eyes for him to just walk away before his iron built partner turned him into a pile of ground meat. There was a second more of resistance, but a final, gentle push against his chest had the sphere shaped man shaking his head and walking away, leaving the two Orcs with eyes on them from all directions.

“You’ve all got nothing better to do?” Sergey snapped, waiting until most of them had returned to their own private conversations to turn back to Nick who had his vest on now, pulling the side flaps roughly about himself.

“Lat mir?” he asked, and with a long exhale, Nick nodded, his vision that had bled over clearing up.

Sergey patted his shoulder firmly, moving back to his locker. He knew offering any words of consolation would only be poking the beast. Even if he could ease some of his friends anger, it would do nothing to calm the inevitable heartache when people would still find something wrong with his halfling son, but he would be lying if he said he hadn’t wondered the same thing about Nick. Having known who he was even before he joined the force, it struck him as odd that he’d choose to couple with the race that so despised him, and furthermore breed knowing the stigma surrounding halflings.

The harassment he’d received alone from joining the LAPD and filing his own tusks had nearly been enough to make him step back from his decision, and he was blooded. Nick had come into it with the whole world against him; absolutely no one to show any real faith in him, and here he was playing with fire again.

It never made him think differently of the man he’d come to respect and look up to, but the questions still floated about in his mind on occasion.

Why would he choose to make his life more difficult than it already is?

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Nick grumbled once finished, buckling his utility belt in place before stalking out of the locker room.

Sergey followed quickly, still fixing his collar as they made their way to the morning briefing.

↠

“Are you sure you got it?” Dinara called, staring intently down at the two slender pieces of wood she was securing together.

“Yep!” Callie grunted from down the hall. The soft scraping of an object of substantial weight prompted Dinara to look away from her task at hand, but it wasn’t until she spotted Callie from the corner of her eyes hunched over and inching backwards did she start to rise from the floor.

“Whaav ayh laat- Calista, put that down!” she exclaimed, hurrying over to move Callie away from the colossal metal tool box she’d resorted to dragging down the hall from the laundry room.

“I only have a few more feet!” she fought breathlessly, but Dinara already had it in hand to carry into Leo’s room. “Nevermind, you clearly got it,”

“Thought an old woman like me could not handle this?”

“You’re the same size as me, I thought it would tip you over,” she shrugged.

“I carry one of these around with me when I work,” she exhaled as she sat again, offering an upturned palm to help lower a global Callie down next to her.

“Is what you needed in here?” she asked, returning to organizing the screws and washers into neat piles.

“He should, Oleg would scold him if he didn’t have- here it is,” Dinara smiled, holding up an allen wrench. “I can’t believe they didn’t include one,”

“Let’s demand a refund so we can buy you one,” Callie smiled deviously only to receive a playful roll of her eyes in return. “I mean, I can only assume we’ll be visiting more with Leo, so you’ll need one too,”

“And when you have more,” she placed the constructed base down, looking over her glasses. “I’ll have everything still,”

Callie was still, trying not to convey that she too had been in love with the idea of having a mini-nation of her own, but knew realistically this was probably her only time.

“You’ll need a bigger home than this,”

Callie dropped the cushion she’d been moving, fumbling to pick it up.

Dinara observed silently, smirking to herself as she spun the allen wrench. “Am I wrong for assuming you’d want more?”

“No, no no. I’ve always wanted a big family, I just don’t know if I can make anymore, mentally or physically,” Callie explained briefly, her grin folding into a playful frown.

Dinara nodded thoughtfully. “This little boy has taken a lot out of you, hasn’t he?”

“Nothing I wouldn’t mind giving up,” she assured. “But getting to this point was just… turbulent,”

“I hear that,” she nodded whilst starting to align the next part of the frame.

Callie had already gnawed her inner lip raw when she out of habit pulled her lips to the side, and she couldn’t bounce her leg the way she was perched on the floor. There was nowhere for this nervousness to go, until-

“We wanna look at bigger houses first,” Callie near blurted, but now she could see Nick’s tired eyes staring down at his phone when his mother would inevitably call to try setting this idea in motion.

Fuck.

“How long has this been decided?” Dinara questioned inquisitively.

“Jus’like’acoupleweeks?” Callie babbled, shoulders pulling up and in.

The first time Callie had caught Dinara staring at Nick the way she now did to her, she at last discovered just where Nick had developed the flat stare that often made her laugh, including now when she cut off a hard snort upon looking back to Dinara.

“I just closed on a three bedroom, I could’ve stalled,”

“I think it has to do with schedules, more than anything,” Callie tried covering.

“Is he working more?” his mother asked, her hands slowing.

“No,” Callie cleared her throat. “He just comes home exhausted so doing anything around that is tricky,”

“Why’s he so tired? You should be the one napping all the time,” Dinara cracked, standing to assemble higher pieces.

Callie had to stop herself from spitting it out like a red hot coal. There were no more avenues to turn down in hopes of convincing Nick to seek help once again for the nightmares that ruled his dreams, and the thought of consulting his parents had come to the forefront of her mind, but she didn’t want to break his trust after promising she wouldn’t since the first time those years ago the nightmares had manifested.

But did he see how he was torturing himself the longer he denied help? Surely not like she did.

“Did Nick ever have nightmares when he was little?” she asked cautiously, looking up to meet Dinara’s alarmed eyes.

“They’re starting again,” she replied definitively, an old heartache blooming after laying long dormant.

That blind sided Callie. “So he’s had them?” she asked, suddenly facing a monster instead of it’s shadow.

Dinara looked down at her hands fiddling with the screwdriver; an old habit that had died since Callie had stepped into Nick’s life.

“They first started when he was six, when he wasn’t telling us about the other boys at school that had singled him out,” she spoke sadly, coming to sit beside Callie with her back against the dresser. “It started as words but exploded into a couple fresh bruises a week. The school was useless, the other parents said it was boys being boys despite not knowing how my son begged every morning not to go anymore,”

“What happened?” Callie asked wide-eyed, her hand on her chest.

“Oleg started teaching him how to defend himself, but that only resulted in worse fights. Ukmall shifted from a smiling boy, to sad to an angry one so quickly- I can’t imagine how his heart must’ve hurt,”

Dinara’s head shook at the grim recollections; how badly she wanted to help her son but couldn’t make it past his walls.

“And during it all, he’d wake up screaming from the nightmares. Before Nick was,” she tensed her arms, grunting to display strength and momentarily lifting Callie’s sorrows. “He was a scrawny little teen, but it took all of Oleg to hold him down one night he woke up kicking and swinging,”

“It went on for that long?”

“Until he graduated, really. In college, he kept his head down and that was enough to keep people away for the most part, but Jirak if that boy didn’t fight our help every step of the way. No medication, no counseling, no even talking about it! He always told me ‘Ma, I can handle it’ and I’d…” she stopped to breathe, her warm sunflower eyes staring ahead as she steadied that tremble in her voice.

Callie had already been tearing, the imaginings of a child Nick learning at such an open hearted, innocent age that the world hated him for who he was, even before hate could be taught to him.

“I’d hold him when he finally woke up and tell him that holding in the fear was poisoning him. That even if he didn’t like it, he had to take medicine to cure the sickness,”

“And he listened?” Callie sniffled, using the bottom of her old sleeping shirt to wipe her misty cheeks.

Dinara nodded, also dabbing under her glasses. “It wasn’t much but the talking he did seemed to do the trick. Nick has always been one to keep things in here,” she motioned towards her chest. “But he forgets that everything has a limit,”

Callie agreed; it was a relief to know that maybe they weren’t destined to have sleepless nights, or risk what she didn’t have the heart to use as leverage against him: harming Leo.

“What’s on his mind then?” his mother asked having returned to the task at hand after composing herself.

“If he’d tell me he wouldn’t be punching me at 2 am,” Callie murmured a little bitterly.

“He’ll break soon. Exhaustion makes people weak, but I hope it’s sorted before he flings Leo into a wall,”

Callie shuddered, visibly disturbed by such a possibility; a stark one that had real grounds to stand on.

A sharp cramp rang up her stomach, pinching her eyes shut and starting a tight side to side shifting of her foot. Since the nights of screaming has started, her days had only been filled with cramps that made her stop in her tracks.

Her doctor had only needed a passing glance at Callie’s tired shoulders and jittering hands to recognize the stress that was coming off her in waves, but simply telling her to ‘avoid the stressors’ meant avoiding Nick, something she didn’t want to do at all.

“You better not pop before I have this, God forsaken piece ro ukhiav done.” Dinara snarled from behind her slim tusks and although her stomach was taut with a stinging cramp Callie laughed.

↠

It had been peaceful the better part of their late start to the day. Although the heat was steadily rising in LA, it didn’t seem enough to start the usual ‘summer rumble’ they faced yearly, but the two Orcs that sat in the old, beaten cruiser knew soon enough they’d be sweating off their body weight during chases and stand-offs. It would be best to soak in this downtime, but two high-strung and hormone driven Orcs would soon tire of the silence.

Nick had also chosen this particularly quiet street specifically for that reason: there was never any traffic. Maybe a double parking ticket every once in a blue moon, but all that was here were old homes with older inhabitants that stayed well below the speed limits. With that he didn’t feel the pressing need to keep his eyes up and alert and instead dragged them down at least ten different articles he’d devoured in the past hour, all of them detailing the stigma that was halflings.

The morphs, the disorders that sometimes came with them, the rarity of certain races crossing over; then he started getting into the numbers, more troubling, the few recorded births of halflings, but the high number of suicides and murders amongst them, that being mostly in teens, even some in adolescence.

“Amongst this hidden race of outcasts lies a startling epidemic of secret families, sometimes secret half-siblings, that officials are now warning of, and I quote, ‘A growing problem that we urge you to prevent. Stay well within your race not only to avoid the deadly disorders these children are born with, but the life of cruelty you’ll be putting your offspring through-“

He chucked his phone into the center console, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his palms.

“You alright?” Sergey asked around the Orkish jerky he’d been chewing on.

There was a pause before Nick nodded, dropping his hands and looking out to the street.

Sergey stuffed his own phone away. “Are you thinking about Leo?” He didn’t really need an answer. Since they’d left the precinct Nick had been either quiet or impatient, throwing objects around the car or snapping at the smallest of things, but who could blame him? His son was already receiving the harassment most kids had a chance at avoiding until their later years.

“I know I’m not one that’s good with words and I can’t begin to understand what you’re feeling, but if you need to vent, I’m here,” Sergey offered, but Nick didn’t acknowledge him. His knee was bouncing, and surely his mind was racing, but he remained composed.

The young Orc didn’t take offense to it and turned back to take his phone out when Nick spoke.

“I feel like I fucked up my own kids life,”

Sergey looked at him in dismay. “How?”

Nick sighed, his head bouncing back against the seat. “How could I bring a child into a world that hates halflings more than Orcs? What the fuck was I thinking?”

“You… you regret…?”

“No!” Nick snapped, glaring. “I…” he trailed off, choosing his words carefully. “I wanted nothing more than to give Callie a family and I’m- I’m so excited, but if anything happens to him, it’ll be my fault,”

“No it won’t, you can’t blame yourself for other people's cruelty,” Sergey urged, but Nick shook his head.

“If Callie’d had a human baby this wouldn’t even be an issue. What’ll it do to her if Leo doesn’t make it past high school?” he mumbled despondently.

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“No. I don’t wanna burden her,”

“Don’t be stupid. You wanna have halflings together in this world but you won’t talk to her about it?” Sergey rattled off, chuffing back just as heatedly when Nick fired one at him. “Say it out loud again and see how dumb it sounds,”

Nick’s face was twisted in annoyance, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it because it really did sound stupid. He’d gone and used that same, empty, dangerous excuse twice in his time with Callie and it had almost resulted in her life ending, yet here he was again.

“You’re burdening her by not telling her,”

“Shut up already,” Nick mumbled.

More silence passed between them with Nick tugging at a frayed string on his uniform and Sergey observing the roads around them.

You’re burdening her by not telling her.

I thought I was saving her heartache. “She’s been nothing but happy when all she was before Leo was sad. I didn’t wanna take that away from her,”

Sergey nodded in understanding. “Do you think it would’ve changed her mind about being a mom to a halfling?”

“Never. I watch her look at the ultrasounds and Leo’s kicks in a way she’s never looked at me before. Nothing could change that,”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

It wasn’t even a question he needed to ask himself at that point. “Me. I keep reading stuff about halflings and the suicides and- and did you know there isn’t even an accurate number that makes up a percentage of halflings? They’re born in homes in secret because of the backlash they face. It’s like they’re excluded from basic rights,”

“I mean, yeah, that’s grim but wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make sure Leo didn’t meet that same fate?”

“That’s a rhetorical question,”

“I think it’s one you need to ask yourself as a reminder,” Sergey said derisively. “What good does worrying do for a future you can prevent?”

Nick opened his mouth to speak, but… it was true. How many times had he told Callie to think in the now, not the upcoming?

“At least you know your heart is in the right place. Now you just need to get that weird shaped head there,” Sergey beamed until Nick punched his arm forcefully. “You know I knew a halfling once,”

Nick’s ears flickered. “Yeah?”

Sergey nodded. “He was a Brezzik mix, and I’ll admit he was straight out of a horror film but he was one of the smartest people I knew, and quiet. He had like two friends in high school but would still interact like anyone else if they gave him the chance,”

“Did he…?” Nick asked, his finger pointing to his temple like a gun.

“I thought he did cuz after high school he up and vanished, but a couple years later I saw him in a grocery store with one of the same friends, just doing their thing like anyone else,”

“Just a normal guy?”

“Aren’t we all?”

Those words stuck with Nick as he flipped them back and forth in his mind. Often he’d thought of himself as the odd one out, and the harassment he’d endured solidified that for years, but what wasn’t normal about himself? What had he done in his life that anyone else wouldn’t? He was where most has trouble getting; a job, a roof he could keep over his head, Callie.

Leo was to be born into a hard world, but the ideal home.

Nick sighed softly, his exhaustion at last finding its end. The ideal home.

He stifled a low whine when he realized that this all could’ve been sorted with Callie’s help if he hadn’t been so stubborn, and in addition came upon the realization that since he’d locked her from his thoughts, she must’ve been stressing as well. And he’d noticed it! Her troubles showed so clearly and the past week she’d been jittery and stressed and in pain, but here he was thinking he was making everything better again by keeping his big mouth shut.

With a louder groan this time, he held his face wondering if any amount of food or gifts or apologies would ever be enough to convince her to marry him at this point.

“Don’t fret, old man. I’m here to help.” Sergey patted his arm affectionately, but coughed when Nick slugged him in the side.

He certainly could’ve reclined his seat and slept right there in his car before the taco shop in a matter of seconds if he wanted, but Nick was determined to get these enchiladas home to Callie in hopes it would pacify her before spilling the dread he’d been carrying.

But would it help when he started apologizing like an idiot?

Nick scoffed. “No.” His thumbs flew across the screen of his phone to text Callie he had the goods and was on his way home before turning the key in the ignition. It was a little unusual she was up so late when lately she’d been conking out by nine, but maybe the earlier promise of food had kept her up.

The drive home was quick through the empty streets as was collecting his belongings and towering bag of food once parked in the driveway.

It was a struggle to disarm the alarm once stepping through the door with his hands full, and it made him wonder how much practice he should be getting in before it was a car seat and diaper bag in hand.

“Baby?” he called out, setting his bags down on the table stacked with laundry piles.

Always he looked down at Pucca’s box besides the TV, her paw print and collar perched neatly beside it.

“Hey girl,” he said lowly, swiping his hand across the top to rid it of the fine layer of dust.

“In here!” Callie’s voice floated from the bathroom, and he padded down the hall once kicking his shoes off to find her comically stretched out in the bath, a knee hooked over the edge and all.

“Are you stuck?” he teased, but she flipped him off.

“Your mom made those spicy pork kebabs today and he’s been bouncing ever since,” she groaned tiredly, moving her bubbly covered hand from her stomach when Nick sat beside the tub to trace his fingertips over her wet skin.

“Think he’s gonna be a runner when he’s older?” Nick asked.

“I think by the time he’s ready to walk he’ll go straight to sprinting,”

He chuckled, simply placing his hands flat. It was becoming easier to feel which part of Leo was nudging. Once learning how to cup his head through her lower belly meant elbows were obvious from knees or feet, sometimes the soft impression of an arm showing.

“How was work?” she asked, reaching to use the back of her knuckles to trace his cheek.

“Uneventful,” he sighed, leaning in her touch. “Didn’t even write a ticket,”

“Easy money,” she grinned.

“Did you two get the glider up?”

“Eventually. I offered my expertise which was nothing at all so your mom did all the work,” Callie laughed, her smile fading when Nick started to doze off with his chin rested on his arm. “You should go to bed,”

“M-mm. I wanna eat,” he said through a closed jaw.

“Don’t wait for me then,”

“M-mm,”

“Mi amore,” she cooed, opening his heavy eyes. “You need all the rest you can get,”

“I get it,”

“Not as much lately,” she approached cautiously. He looked away, his cheek now rested on his arm and exhaling when she dragged her nails across his scalp. His touch still remained on her stomach, but he’d since gone still, his sleeve even dipping into the warm water without his notice. He was so out of it he didn’t even know his jacket was inside out; it was the third time it’d happened in a weeks time.

“You know you can talk to me,” she said softly, but only his eyes opened. “No matter how bad they are, I wanna know so I can help,”

“It’s not the nightmares, baby,” he groaned, rolling his head back to face her. “It’s what’s causing them,”

“Tell me then,” she didn’t mean for it to come out as a plea, but she was desperate to help. Never before had she’d seen him so consumed by his own dark thoughts, barely able to drag himself upright and face another daunting day.

Nick better situated himself beside the tub so he didn’t slip into a slumber while talking, and took a breath. “I feel like I set Leo up to become another statistic,”

Her brows pulled together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

This was a risk telling her; surely she’d find the same articles he came upon and feel- if not worse- the torment he did. “Do you know how rare it is for a halfling to grow into adulthood?”

“Because of the suicides?”

Nick blinked a couple times. “You-”

“Yep, every single one. As soon as I hit twelve weeks I couldn’t stop reading them,”

Nick was taken aback. “You’re not freaking out!?”

“I did for a hot minute, but then I thought of you,” she smiled, even giggling when his ears flicked in confusion. “You’ve had such a tough life that by all means should’ve ended you a long time ago, but you’re here,”

“Because of you,”

“Who was there before me though?” she asked, spinning to also rest her chin on her arm beside his.

“My parents,” he mumbled, and when he brows perked up, it made sense.

“If your parents gave you that same stubbornness that got you to where you are, I want Leo to have it too. It’s our job to protect him, but we also need to teach him to be strong and resilient, and that he can do anything he wants to in life despite being labeled,”

“I wasn’t a halfling though,”

“No, but you’re the first for a lot of things. Leo won’t be the first halfling,”

He stared into her endless eyes, and the serenity they emitted. “The numbers don’t freak you out at all?”

“Nope. I fucking refuse to let him become just another number logged. He’s our son, our boy. He’s gonna grow to be a man and live a fulfilling life, better than ours, and if hate comes with it then so be it, but he’s gonna learn to swing back when life takes swings at him, Nick. He’s gonna be just like you, baby,”

Her forehead came to press against his when he exhaled shakily, closing his eyes to hide the shine of fresh tears. He chuffed to fight off the torrent of emotions, but she only held his face, promising they could do this together, assuring him he wasn’t alone in this fight with his fears.

After a few moments of sly wipes across his eyes and some softer words that finally brought his face back to her so she could kiss him, Nick felt that the crushing weight of fatherhood perched on his shoulders could be lifted over time; all he needed was to build the strength to take on this next chapter of his life, just like any other thing he’d came out of on top.

“Let’s go then,” she sniffled, kissing him again. “I wanna eat,”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, standing to help her up and wrap a towel around her sudsy body.

“You know the practice we get in with Leo means we’ll be experts the second time around,” she teased, and his eyes narrowed.

“You talked to her about it today, didn't you?”

“No but she almost cornered me with it, and the bigger house thing,” Callie explained while she went about drying herself off.

“She’s clever. Before you know it we’ll be in a mansion without any money left for food or electricity,”

“We wanted a mansion anyways,” she shrugged, yelping when he pinched her side.

“Don’t even joke about that around her,” he groaned, walking from the bathroom.

Callie paused. “Maybe you should give her a call then, cuz I got her hopes up today,”

Nick spun to face her in alarm. “You said-”

“Ah I’m just fucking with you, let’s eat.” Callie smiled sheepishly, squeezing between him and the doorframe, a loud shriek coming forth when he chuffed behind her ear.

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HELLOOOOO AGAIN MY FRIENDS here i come with a wee lil chapter cuz listen shit will hit the fan soon, emotions stir. there's sadness AND happiness so please be patient with me and thank you to returning readers who've stuck around and anyone new! <3 hope to update again sooner than a month hehehe

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 25 (Finale) || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: This series has been the most fun thing to write ever and I’m so grateful to everyone that has joined me on this journey. I really really really hope you like how I decided to wrap this chapter of their lives and I hope you’ll join me in the sequel to explore more adventures. I love you all and can’t wait to hear the screams that I’m certain are soon to follow this post. 

Warnings: cursing

Word Count: 2,199 [Series total: ~74.8k]

~~~~~~~~

A Look-back at how we started:

“Sara’s pregnant.”

No sentence had ever made you feel anger, fear, disbelief, sadness and a whole bevy of other emotions quite as quickly as that one did. You wanted to scream and you wanted to cry. Instead, you put a mask over your expressions and just took the glass of wine Laura was offering as she filled hers to the brim.

“What?” You whispered, your voice cracking slightly.

“Cale called me today…he was so obviously nervous and before I could even ask what was wrong he was rambling on about how she was pregnant and he didn’t know what to do…” You could see the disappointment on Laura’s face and you attempted to send her a reassuring smile, though you were sure she noticed how forced it seemed. Swirling your wine in your glass, you thought about all of the reasons this news bothered you, making you almost sick to your stomach.

Now onto the finale: 

“Y/N’s pregnant.” 

Leaning against the doorway to your shared bedroom, you felt a smile spread across your face as your boyfriend spilled the news out of frustration, a response to his mother’s unnecessary concern. 

“What?” Laura whispered, her voice cracking. The expression on her face was one of shock and awe as she just stared at Cale. Shivering as a chill ran up your spine, you turned to adjust the thermostat, cranking up the heat to ward off the mid-November chill. 

++

Cale’s parents had arrived in Denver yesterday afternoon and though you’d had dinner with them, neither you nor Cale were sure whether or how to share everything that had changed since you’d seen them last. You’d mentioned that the two of you were thinking about buying a house here which had been met with some confusion but otherwise you kept things fairly light conversation wise. A part of you had expected Laura to question you not drinking, but when she hadn’t said anything you assumed she hadn’t picked up on it at all. 

When you’d crawled into bed last night, you and Cale had still been undecided on whether to share the news yet but when you woke up this morning, it seemed like hiding probably wasn’t going to be an option. Of course, though you rarely experienced morning sickness, today of all days it had to hit you like a truck. Cale had been the doting father-to-be that he always was, holding your hair back and massaging your lower back gently. When the nausea didn’t begin to ebb like it normally did, he’d called your coworker to move all of your appointments for the day before settling you back into bed with some tea, crackers, and a wastebasket. Only with your insistence that you would be fine did he head off to practice, leaving you to doze off again. 

You’d woken up a couple hours later to Cale perched on the side of the bed, his fingers dragging lightly over your stomach. 

“You feeling any better?” He’d questioned, concern flickering across his face. “Think maybe you could use something to eat?” 

Stretching, you sat up just a little, testing out how your stomach would react to the movement. It didn’t twist or turn like it had earlier and you let out a breath of relief, reaching out to pull Cale into a quick kiss. 

“Heat me up some of the leftover soup from the freezer?” You requested. You knew Laura and Gary were coming over to spend the afternoon with the two of you, but you were fairly certain that your stomach would be unable to handle whatever lunch they brought. 

“Course sweetheart.” Cale agreed, leaving you to slowly make your way up and out of bed. 

The minute she’d walked through the door, you heard Laura question Cale about why he was cooking when he knew that they were bringing lunch. 

“Because Y/N wants soup.” Cale replied, pulling the defrosted soup from the microwave so that he could dump it into a pot to finish warming. 

Laura had expressed her confusion stating that you and Cale had both known that they were bringing one of your favorites. 

“Mom...she wasn’t feeling well this morning okay.” He sighed. “Soup is easy on the stomach, that is not.” 

“Is she sick? Cale why didn’t you tell us? If she’s not feeling well we can go find something else to do.” Laura had pressed. 

“She’s fine now.” Cale replied, his voice gaining a little bit of an edge that signaled his annoyance. 

“Seriously Cale, if Y/N isn’t feeling well she should be resting, not having to worry about entertaining us.” Laura continued. 

“Mom. Relax.” Cale declared. Immediately Laura started speaking again and the next words out of his mouth were the ones you’d been hiding. 

++

With the silence starting to become uncomfortable in the kitchen, you made your way out from your spot in the doorway, nestling up to Cale’s side as he stared at his mom. Your sudden presence seemed to startle Laura and Gary and they ran their eyes back and forth between you and their son. 

“You’re pregnant?” Laura questioned, tears welling in her eyes. Nodding, you took a step back to pull the ultrasound photos out from the magnet on the side of the fridge. Setting them down in front of her, you pecked Cale’s cheek, before turning to adjust the temperature on your soup so that it didn’t burn. 

“How do you feel about being a grandma?” You questioned after a moment, laughing as she launched herself around the kitchen island, pulling you into a hug. 

“You’re pregnant. You’re really pregnant.” She choked out in disbelief. 

“Yeah mom. I’m pregnant.” You stated. 

“Oh my lord.” Laura breathed and when she pulled away you could see the tears streaming down her cheeks. “This wasn’t planned was it?” She questioned, her slight confusion returning. 

“No, it wasn’t planned.” Cale voiced from behind you. 

“But you’re happy?” She confirmed, looking past you to her son. 

“We’re so happy.” Cale assured her. “Best surprise ever.” 

The way he looked at you sent you back to the night he was referring to a month ago. 

++

Cale had been away on one of the first roadtrips of the season when you’d found out the news. 

With moving and then trying to get settled in in your new home, you’d forgotten you were due for your birth control shot. Finding a local clinic, you made an appointment to go down and get it taken care of. You’d submitted to the requested urine test not thinking anything of it. It wasn’t until a nurse came into your room informing you that they couldn’t give you the shot that anything at all seemed out of place. 

“Wait...what do you mean? Why can’t you give me the shot?” You remembered asking. 

When she’d explained that she couldn’t give you the shot because you were pregnant, your jaw had dropped, your hand drifting down to your stomach. And though you didn’t think they had lied, you took the paperwork the nurse offered you before rushing to the nearest pharmacy where you’d purchased three different pregnancy tests. 

An hour later you were sitting on the bathroom floor staring at various phrases or symbols all signalling that you were definitely expecting - ‘3+ weeks’ one test in particular read. 

You knew you couldn’t be much further along than that, you’d gotten your period shortly after arriving in Denver. You were certain of that because you’d forgotten to pack anything and Cale had had to run to the store on his way home from camp. 

Though your initial reaction beyond disbelief was joy, you were worried about how Cale would take the news. You’d only been together for 5 months and while he’d expressed that he’d be open to having kids if the situation was right...you just didn’t know. 

It had taken you almost 24 hours to come to the conclusion that you just had to trust that Cale would be as happy as you were. This baby was part of both of you and it wasn’t like things between you were anything but good. Knowing that Cale would be home the following night, you set to work on figuring out how to tell him. Heading out to the store you found a retro looking Avalanche sleeper. You’d stopped into a second hand book store while you were out, looking more for something for you to read than anything else but you’d stumbled upon the children’s book ‘goodnight hockey’ and it seemed like the perfect addition to the little package you were putting together. 

Wrapping up the sleeper and book with one of the pregnancy tests, you sat down trying to think about what you wanted to say to Cale with the card. It had come to you as you were going to bed and after writing it down, you tucked the card back into the envelope writing Cale’s name on the front. 

The next day was the longest wait of your life but you were determined to tell Cale when he got home, the secret you’d been hiding for two days already eating at you. It was late...really late and you’d moved from the couch to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of hot chocolate when you heard Cale’s key in the door. 

As he stumbled into the kitchen he seemed surprised that you were still awake, but he’d leaned in to kiss you quickly. Only then did he notice the package on the counter, his eyebrows furrowed at the sight of it. 

“What’s that?” He questioned, shrugging off his suit jacket and draping it over the back of the barstool. 

“A present. For you.” You murmured softly, sending him a sneaky smile as you poured boiling water into your mug on the counter. 

“My birthday isn’t for two weeks sweetheart...can’t it wait?” He asked, leaning against the counter. 

“No, it can’t.” You insisted. “Open it now.” Cale eyed you for a minute before immediately reaching for the wrapping paper, causing you to glare at him in disbelief. 

“Who taught you how to open presents?” You exclaimed. “Open the card first…” Cale rolled his eyes playfully before grabbing the card off the front of the box, slipping the little note card out of the envelope. 

Daddy hopes I get mommy’s giggles, 

Mommy hopes I get daddy’s rosy cheeks, 

No matter what I’m going to be perfect, 

You’ll see for yourself in about 36 weeks. 

You watched as his eyes glazed over, his brain struggling to process given the late hour. Setting the card aside, he tore into the paper on the box frantically, pulling the lid off to reveal all of the goodies tucked inside. You watched, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, as Cale bypassed the pregnancy test instead pulling the sleeper from the box. Just as quickly though, he reached back inside, his jaw dropping as the stick with the word ‘pregnant’ stared back at him. 

“We’re having a baby?” The words spilled from his lips as tears rolled down his cheeks. “You’re serious?”

“I’m pregnant Cale.” You confirmed. “You’re gonna be a dad.” Closing the few steps between you, Cale wrapped his arms around you, spinning you once before burying his head into your neck. 

“I can’t…” He mumbled into your skin. “You’re sure?” 

“I’m sure.” You insisted. “3 home pregnancy tests and a clinic test all confirm.” Although Cale seemed happy, his lack of an official reaction was starting to worry you slightly. When he kissed you though, you took that as a good sign, carding your fingers through his hair. 

“Please tell me you’re okay with this…” You whispered, shifting your fingers to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “...because I know this wasn’t planned and it happened sooner than I think we were expecting…” 

“We’re having a baby.” Cale repeated, his tone awestruck. “Fuck sweetheart...of course I’m okay with this.” He breathed, shaking his head as if to pull him out of the daze he was in. “You’re having my baby.” He stated, his grin growing. “I’m shocked but...good shocked.” Kissing you again gently, Cale pulled back and immediately dropped to his knees, his hands sliding across your lower stomach. 

This was the kind of reaction you’d hoped for, better than you’d hoped for even, and you felt your own tears fall as Cale nuzzled against your stomach, kissing gently over the skin there through your shirt. 

“Baby says happy early birthday daddy.” You whispered, staring down at him. 

++ 

You’d spent the rest of that night talking about your surprise blessing, Cale’s palm never leaving your stomach. It had been perfect, just perfect. 

“Oh this is so wonderful.” Laura exclaimed. “How far along are you?” She pressed, her eyes drifting down to your where your baby bump would soon be growing. 

“8 weeks.” You replied. “So still very early but the doctor says everything looks good. We’re due mid-june.” You explained, laughing as Laura expressed her happiness by bouncing up and down. 

She hugged you again before moving to wrap Cale in her arms, the two of them whispering to each other, smiles on their faces. With his wife having expressed her excitement, Gary slid around the counter and pulled you into a hug as well. 

“Congratulations. Can’t wait to meet my grandbaby.” He expressed, squeezing you a second time before moving to pat Cale on the back. You knew Cale needed this moment with his parents, so you turned your attention to the pot of soup bubbling away on the stovetop. 

This year has been full of so many secrets: the disaster around Cale’s pregnancy scare with Sara, your exchanged feelings in March, dating for two months without anyone knowing, moving to Denver, and now the fact that your little family is growing. 

And though the baby was going to remain a secret to some people for a little while longer, one thing was absolutely not a secret: you were in love with your best friend and he was in love with you. Your journey together was only just beginning. 

Cale’s early birthday present: 

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 4 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: 

Warnings: cursing, discussion of sexual activities

Word Count: 3,911

~~~~

You’d tossed and turned for almost an hour before you had eventually drifted off to sleep, only to be awoken by the Denver sunrise spilling through the window. Groaning softly you made a mental note for the shopping trip...curtains...Cale definitely needed curtains. Laying on the couch, you played on your phone for a few minutes before the need to use the bathroom finally took over. 

After knocking quietly on Cale’s door with no response, you cracked it open hoping to sneak through to the bathroom without disturbing him. As you tiptoed across his bedroom floor, you couldn’t help but let your eyes fall on him. As expected, he was shirtless, blankets falling only midway up his exposed chest. His hair was a mess, and a relaxed expression covered his face. Quietly closing the bathroom door behind you, you chastised yourself for the heat that flooded through you. You were just friends and despite his now single status, that was all this was ever going to be. 

Relieving yourself, you then quickly brushed your teeth before quietly moving back to the living room, easing his door shut behind you. His parents were going to be here in about an hour and after starting a pot of coffee you examined the contents of Cale’s fridge and cabinets. Finding bacon, eggs, and pancake mix you decided to make everyone breakfast. It was as you were moving around the kitchen that Cale finally appeared, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

“You’re making breakfast?” He murmured, leaning in to kiss the top of your head. 

“I am…” You smiled, checking on the bacon in the oven as you scrambled eggs in a pan on the stove. Cale poured himself a cup of coffee and you felt his eyes on you once more. 

“Anything I can do?” He questioned after a moment. 

“Get some plates?” You requested. “How do you want your eggs?” The clatter of plates filled your ears for a moment as Cale set plates beside you. 

“However you’re making them is perfect.” He insisted, sharing a warm grin now that he was a little bit more awake. Nodding you took one of the plates and scooped a hefty portion of eggs onto it before pulling the bacon from the oven and the pancakes from where they were keeping warm in the microwave and piling those onto the plate as well. 

“Eat up.” You grinned, turning to place the plate in front of one of the bar stools at the island. Doing another batch of eggs quickly you set everything aside to keep warm before serving yourself a much smaller portion. Taking a seat beside him, you shook your head as you watched Cale continue to dig into his breakfast. The moment felt a little too domestic and natural so you were thankful when there was a knock at the door that signaled that Laura and Gary had arrived. 

It wasn’t long after that before you were quickly getting ready and heading out with Laura to go shopping for things for Cale’s apartment. The first place you stopped was Starbucks and then you were off to a local shopping center to do some damage. 

“You seem more relaxed…” Laura mentioned as she sat waiting for the light to turn green. 

“Yeah uh...we talked after dinner last night. We’re good.” You shrugged. Yes you were close with Laura, but you really didn’t want to tell her the details of your friendship with her son. She seemed to accept that because she nodded and smiled. 

“Good. I’m glad.” Her response ended the subject and instead she focused on the task ahead. “So you’ve spent a decent amount of time in Cale’s apartment...what does he still need other than what he mentioned to me?” 

“Well curtains would be good. Waking up to the sun isn’t always ideal.” You said, a yawn slipping from your throat. “He could also use a throw blanket for the couch.” You added, pondering over what comforts Cale’s apartment seemed to be missing that would make it feel more like a home. 

Wandering through aisles, Laura did most of the shopping, occasionally asking for your thoughts on something before either tossing it into the cart or putting it back on the shelf. As you walked through the aisle containing photo frames you paused. 

“What do you think about surprising him with some pictures?” You suggested. He had a couple pieces of ‘artwork’ but there really weren’t any family photos to be found as far as you could see. 

“Why don’t you take the reins on that?” Laura replied, a soft look you couldn’t place filling her eyes as she handed you her phone. “Text yourself anything from my camera roll.” As she looked through possible throw pillows, you quickly scanned through the pictures, texting yourself a half dozen that would be perfect. Agreeing to meet up in about fifteen minutes, you headed back to the instant photo machine, plugging your phone in to print the pictures from Laura’s gallery as well as a couple from your own. Satisfied with what you had, you moved back to the frames, picking out one for each photo before moving to find some command strips to hang them with. 

On the car ride back to Cale’s place, you worked to get each photo into a frame. By the time Laura pulled back into the garage you were finished and you helped her carry all of the shopping bags inside. Cale had given his mom the spare key in case the two of you were done before he got back and after letting yourselves inside, you went to work on making Cale’s apartment feel just a little cozier. Together you hung curtains up in his living room, tossing pillows and the sherpa throw onto the couch. Then Laura helped you with hanging photos on his bedroom wall while a few of them were placed stationary on a side table in his living room. Laura unpacked the rest of the things Cale had asked her to buy and then the two of you settled onto the couch to watch tv until the guys arrived. 

Gary and Cale had picked up lunch on the way home, so the four of you sat down to eat. When you finished, Cale handed you a gift bag and though you had a feeling you knew what it was, you were still anxious to open it. Navy fabric accented with maroon and white spilled around your fingers and you gently ran your fingers over the number 8 and lettering of the nameplate. 

“Can’t have you come to the game tonight without proper apparel.” Cale murmured and you jumped up quickly, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. 

“It’s perfect.” You agreed. You’d packed the Makar home jersey that you’d bought yourself at the beginning of the season, but you had to admit the thirds were your favorite jersey and getting the jersey from Cale meant just a little bit more than buying one for yourself. 

As you cleaned up lunch, Cale started to settle in, getting ready to take his pregame nap. He had acknowledged the curtains, blanket, pillows and other things his mom had gotten him but it wasn’t until he disappeared into his bedroom for a moment that his eyes must have caught the photos. He’d only been gone maybe 30 seconds when he returned, pulling his mom into a huge hug, his eyes soft. 

“You framed pictures for me?” He muttered softly. 

“That idea was all Y/N.” Laura quickly clarified and immediately Cale turned to you, his arms wrapping around you just as tightly. 

“That’s incredible. Thank you.” He whispered into your ear, and when he pulled back his hands lingered on your hips for a moment more. 

Soon you were grabbing everything you’d need for the game because you were headed with Laura and Gary to play tourist while Cale napped and then headed to the rink. Laura and Gary had already headed downstairs while you debated on a shirt to wear and you didn’t even notice Cale come up beside you as you dug through your bag. 

“Wear that one.” He instructed, pointing to a wine red long-sleeved off-the-shoulder blouse. “We’re going out after the game if we win.” He clarified, rubbing the back of his neck. You were already wearing your favorite pair of jeans and had thrown on a cute pair of tennis shoes for running around. You weren’t exactly a club type of person but going out with Cale and his teammates did seem fun. 

“Okay.” You agreed, disappearing into his bathroom to change tops before returning. “Have a good nap. And kick some ass tonight.” You teased, grabbing your makeup bag because you’d barely put any on to go shopping and if you were going out tonight you were going to need to rethink your current makeup. With everything you needed, you snuck a kiss to Cale’s cheek before disappearing out the door to meet Gary and Laura down at the car. 

____

The last time you saw Cale play live was versus Calgary during the playoffs. So sitting in the stands of the Pepsi Center watching him warm up was an entirely different experience. You’d watched him on tv many times but in person it was clear to see just how much his game was growing every day. He was almost mesmerizing to watch and tucked in next to Laura, wrapped in his jersey, you felt at peace. Well, at least until the puck dropped for real. 

During a commercial break in the first period, the Avs announced a promo game. After the participant was introduced and the game was explained, a baby picture popped up on the screen. In it, a little boy, no more than 9 or 10 months old, sat between the legs of a little girl around the age of five who had a book in her hands. Immediately your own cheeks flushed as you recognized the picture, it was one of your favorites from when you and Cale were super little. The fan playing got one guess of who it was with no options to win an autographed jersey, but they were way off and guessed Nate for some reason. Then multiple choice popped up with Cale’s name, JT’s, and Gabe for a chance at an autographed puck. You didn’t even pay attention to the guess beyond hearing the boos signaling they got it wrong, but instead your gaze landed on Cale who was looking up at the screen, hiding a smile as he took some ribbing by his teammates. Eventually his eyes drifted up to where you were seated and he sent a little wink that you would have missed if you weren’t looking at him. From beside you Laura just smiled and bumped your shoulder, signaling without words just how strong your friendship with Cale really was. 

The Avs played a solid all around game and you cheered with each goal scored. Cale had two assists on the night and with the team coming out with the win you knew he was going to be in a good mood. Heading down to the locker room, you listened as Gary rambled on about the game as hockey dads do while sharing looks with Laura that made you burst into laughter. 

When Cale finally stepped out of the locker room he hugged his parents before lifting you up and spinning you around. 

“You ready to go have some fun?” He inquired, boyish smile on his face. 

“Don’t get into too much trouble.” Laura warned, though her expression wasn’t all that serious. 

“As if I’d let him.” You joked. For years Cale’s family had the running joke of you being the more responsible one keeping Cale in line. It wasn’t always true obviously, but for the most part the point stood. Still after the past few weeks Cale had had, you were willing to let him go just a little bit crazy tonight, knowing that you would be there as his safety net. 

“We’ll see you both tomorrow.” Gary grinned. “Go relax and have a good time.” Cale’s arm drifted around your waist as he tugged you to his car. Once there, you stripped off the jersey leaving you in just the blouse and as he pulled out of the garage you mussed up your hair just a little bit. Using the mirror, you carefully added a little more eyeliner before throwing on a dark lipstick, tossing both cylinders into the cupholder beside you. 

By the time you stepped out of the car at the club you felt ready for a night out and as you watched Cale shed his jacket, you felt his eyes on you once more. 

Waiting for him to be ready to head inside, you watched as a tall redhead approached, beautiful woman tucked into his side. 

“Y/N...this is JT and his girlfriend Lauren.” Cale introduced and you reached a hand out to shake theirs before tucking your hand back into your pocket. 

“So this is the best friend.” JT said, smirking. “Bout time Cale finally brought you around, he’s been talking about you for forever.” 

“Really?” You teased, ready to throw out a semi-embarrassing tidbit until Cale grabbed you by the waist, his finger falling to your lips to shush you as he guided you inside. 

“Can you at least let me get a drink or two in me before you start spilling the embarrassing stories?” He pleaded jokingly. 

“I suppose.” You conceded, smiling as he guided you up to the VIP lounge and over to the bar. Settling for a glass of wine, you watched him order a beer for himself before leading you over to one of the many couches. It wasn’t long before you were being introduced to all of Cale’s teammates.  

Gabe was boisterous and funny and the way that he looked at his wife Mel made you smile brightly. Josty was a character, he had you laughing almost immediately as he told stories about all of the media events he’d done with Cale and what he’d learned from residing in the same building. He was definitely giving you ammo to use later. Then again they all were, chirps had been flying left and right all night. 

You’d been nursing the same glass of wine for about an hour, watching as Cale downed another 2-3 beers as well as a shot that Burky handed him. It was nice to see Cale out with people that clearly cared about him and you knew this was probably the first time he had really been able to let go of all of the stress since the pregnancy scare. 

Eventually Mel and Lauren dragged you out onto the dance floor with the other better halves and even though you’d barely had anything to drink, the beat of the music had you relaxing, enjoying the time you had getting to know the people who were part of Cale’s other family. 

“You know his eyes haven’t left you all night.” Mel eventually declared, her voice barely audible over the loud music. 

“He’s always been a little protective…” You simply shrugged. The look Mel and Lauren shared suggested that they weren’t buying that logic but they didn’t push things. After a few more songs, you left the dance floor to head to the bar for a bottle of water. While there a tall….like really tall, dark haired man who looked like he should star in the next hollywood vampire blockbuster, slipped up beside you, his arm brushing against yours lightly. As you placed him as Cale’s d-partner you smiled up at him before looking back at where the bartender was rushing back and forth. 

“You know none of us have ever seen him like this before…” Ryan murmured. “He comes out but he never really lets loose. Now I don’t know whether that’s because it’s the first time we’ve been out since everything happened or if it’s because you’re here but I suspect it’s more to do with the latter.” You didn’t really know what to say to that so you shrugged. “And I’m not saying that in the manner of he feels like you’re the babysitter who will take care of him, I’m saying that he feels comfortable because you’re here in a way he was never comfortable either by himself or with Sara.” Ryan finally managed to get the bartender’s attention and he ordered your water along with whatever he was drinking before continuing. “And I’m sure Cale never said anything and neither did anyone else but...you should know everyone really likes you. And I can’t say the same for Sara.” Just as quickly as he’d appeared, Ryan had walked off and you glanced over at Cale to see his eyes planted firmly on you, his cheeks rosy from the alcohol. 

Water in hand, you moved to Cale’s side, his arm wrapping around you immediately. The redness in his eyes told you he’d had a little bit more to drink than he probably should have and you pushed your water his way, not wanting him to be completely impossible to drag home. The grin on his face was lazy as he took the bottle, showing how completely relaxed and at ease he was. 

His Adam's apple bobbed as he took a long sip of the water and you tilted your head to observe him, tie gone and the top few buttons of his shirt undone. His fingers slipped just under the edge of your shirt along your hip and you took your own sip from the bottle of water trying to hide the flush that filled your body at the feeling of his fingertips on your bare skin. Passing the water back to him, it was soon gone and once the bottle was empty you stood, looking over your shoulder. 

“Are you going to sit there all night or are you going to come dance with me?” You inquired, your tongue running against your bottom lip. Stumbling just slightly, Cale slipped out of the booth and his hand fell to the curve of your back as he guided you over to where his teammates and their significant others were dancing. 

With Cale’s chest pressed against your back, his hands fell to your hips once more and the pads of his fingers wandered over every inch of skin they could reach. His touch had never affected you like this before, he’d never been this brazen before, but you chalked both of those factors up to the alcohol. Though you’d only had two glasses of wine since you arrived, wine had always made you far warmer than any other form of alcohol so the heat in your skin was definitely just from that. 

“So I have a question…” Cale’s breath fanned over your ear as he leaned down to whisper yell at you, allowing you to hear him over the rap song that was playing. 

“Yes Cale?” You replied, tilting your body back against his so that you could see his face. It was even rosier than before and his soft smile was replaced by a serious and focused look causing your eyebrow to quirk at the sight. 

“Women like having oral sex performed on them right?” For a split second you were certain that it was only Cale’s hold on you that kept you from falling right over. Choking on your own saliva as you tried to swallow you quickly coughed, your cheeks even more flushed than you could attribute to the wine. 

“I...I mean from what I’ve heard yeah…” You finally stumbled out an answer. “Why?” Your question was ignored as Cale’s hands tightened around your hips. 

“You’ve heard?” Cale prodded. “You don’t know?” Cursing under your breath you shivered as Cale’s thumb stroked a sensitive spot along your side. 

“Cale…” You mumbled, not drunk enough for this conversation. He poked you in the side though signaling you to continue and you groaned. “I mean...I had sex for the first time freshman year of college and we didn’t exactly know what we were doing…” You explained, softly enough that only Cale would hear you. “And I mean I’ve only had sex one other time...it was a one night stand and we were both way too drunk to do anything but fuck. So yeah...I’m just taking other people’s word on it...why are you asking Cale?” You finished, twisting in his arms so that you could look at him properly. His head ducked to press against the crook of your neck and he hissed quietly as you drug your nails along his lower back. 

“Just curious…” Cale breathed. “Sara never let me...I mean I wanted to but...she told me she wasn’t interested.” For a moment you didn’t know what to say as that little piece of you celebrated the fact that it seemed there were a lot of things he didn’t do with his ex girlfriend. 

“Oh...I mean everyone has their own likes and dislikes…” You reminded him. “But generally equal reciprocation is definitely appreciated.” 

As the song ended, Gabe called Cale’s name to go take another shot and you pushed him to go murmuring that you were going to run to the bathroom. By the time you returned, you suspected it was definitely time to get Cale home, so you sidled up to his side, slipping your hand in his front pocket for his car keys. 

“I think it’s time we get you home and to bed rockstar.” You declared. Thankfully Cale didn’t put up much of a fight, closing his tab before letting you lead him out of the club. By the time you had parked in his garage, you could see how sleepy the alcohol was making him and you moved around to help him out of the car, his body nearly dragging yours down with its weight. 

Stumbling through the door, you urged him to start to bed while you got him more water and some pain killers. Gathering both, you moved to his room after checking to ensure the front door was locked. You found him sitting on the edge of his bed, dressed in only boxer briefs and though you tried not to stare, your body couldn’t help but notice that gone was the teenage boy you once knew and in his place was a man plain and simple. Setting the water and pills on his bedside table, you urged him to take his contacts out. 

Once you were certain he was fairly settled, you turned to make your way to the couch. Instead, Cale’s hands reached out to pull you back to him and as he scooted to the far side of the bed, he drug you down with him. 

“Cale…” You mumbled in complaint but his eyes were already closed and his breathing was starting to steady out, his hands keeping your body pressed tightly against his. Sighing, you managed to work yourself out of your jeans before giving in and settling in his arms. 

Between your conversation with Gravy, the looks Mel and Lauren were giving you, Cale’s inquiry, wandering hands, and this, so many lines had been blurred tonight that it was making you dizzy. 

For the second night in a row...your mind reeled as you fell into a fitful sleep. 

Blouse:

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 19 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Was hoping to come home to Cale having poured a me a glass of wine ready to celebrate my externship (and me surviving the longest day of my week)....sadly that’s just not reality and this is the only Cale I’ve got so...it’ll just have to do I suppose. 

Warnings: moderate angst, internet trolls.

Word Count: 2,443

~~~~~

You were in the middle of a house showing when your phone started buzzing incessantly. Not wanting to seem unprofessional, you ignored it as you talked with your clients about the features of the house before sending them to explore on their own for a few minutes. 

Checking your phone you saw that you had missed three calls from Laura. There was no reason for her to be calling you repeatedly unless something was wrong and you quickly called her back, your heart pounding. 

“Hey mom I’m in the middle of a showing, what’s up?” 

“Have you heard from Cale today?” She asked.

“Not since first thing this morning…” You replied, anxiety growing. “Mom what’s going on?” 

“Cale’s not answering his phone. We don’t know where he’s at.” You could hear Gary in the background as the two of them rambled back and forth. “Y/N...there are some pretty nasty rumors online about him…” 

Your heart plummeted to the ground and your stomach twisted violently. 

“Send me screenshots?” You pleaded. After just a minute or two, images flooded your phone that made you want to physically vomit. 

Guess even a Calder trophy winner can be a deadbeat dad. 

He’s on vacation while she’s waitressing...classy move there Cale. 

Guess he’s not so perfect after all is he? #quinnshouldhavewonthecalder

Hearing the footsteps of your clients, you pocketed your phone attempting to mask all of the emotions rushing through your mind. After chatting with them about the house, you moved to leave and though you had planned to take them to see two more, your heart just wasn’t in it. Explaining that a family emergency had just popped up, you promised them you would reschedule as soon as possible before sliding into your car. 

Your attempt to get ahold of Cale went straight to voicemail and you groaned just wishing he would pick up. Opening first instagram and then twitter you realized just what had started it all. The avs had posted a summer update about Cale with a few pictures from Iceland that he must have sent their pr department. The top reply on twitter linked an instagram post from Sara’s page where she was obviously pregnant and wearing a waitressing uniform. Her vague status read ‘working for that dough since my baby daddy is useless’ You’d barely looked at all and you were already furious and devastated, you couldn’t even imagine how Cale was feeling. 

Driving home, you called your favorite coworker pleading with her to take what appointments of yours today she could before calling the rest to reschedule. With your work commitments being taken care of, your plan was to go home and change before trying to find Cale. The moment you pulled in your driveway, however, you felt your heart settle because that was definitely Cale’s car. Dialing Laura’s number again you shut your car door quietly, not sure what state you’d find Cale in on the other side of your front door. 

“Hey mom...his car is here. I don’t know what I’m about to find but you know I’ll do everything I can…” Laura insisted that you could call right back if there was anything you needed and after hanging up with her, you slipped your key into the lock, pushing your way inside. 

The house was quiet and after toeing off your shoes, you padded down the hall in search of your boyfriend. The sight that met you as you reached your bedroom door broke your heart. Cale was curled up on your bed, his shoulders shaking with sobs. 

Crawling in beside him, not caring if your dress got rumpled, you pulled his head to your chest, cradling his large frame as best you could. 

“I’m here...I got you.” You whispered, one hand scratching gently over his scalp while the other ran up and down his back. Though Cale buried his head against you, he didn’t react otherwise and you felt his tears gathering against your skin. “What can I do Cale?” You whispered eventually, hating the helpless feeling this situation had left you with. 

The silence of Cale’s response made you swallow hard. You wanted to scream from the rooftops about how people were making false assumptions, how Cale was the victim in this not his ex, how even if they were right it was none of their fucking business in the first place. But you knew it would only make things worse. The only real option was to let things die down on their own. You knew the truth, Cale’s family knew the truth, your family knew the truth, Cale’s teammates knew the truth. What anyone else thought really didn’t matter but that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

When Cale finally cried himself to sleep in your arms, you continued to hold him for a few minutes before you finally pulled yourself from bed. Changing clothes, you grabbed your phone and stepped out to the kitchen for a glass of water, dialing Laura again as you leaned against the kitchen counter. 

“How is he?” She asked immediately. 

“He’s asleep now. Finally cried himself out.” You mumbled. “He hasn’t said a word mom. It’s obvious he’s devastated, but I don’t know what to do. How do I fix this?” 

“You can’t.” She admitted sadly. “Just be there for him. That’s all you can do. It may not feel like much but I’m sure he appreciates it. I appreciate it. I’m glad he’s not alone. That if he didn’t feel comfortable coming home that he felt comfortable enough to go to your home. He’s safe and you can get through this together, we can all get through this together.” 

“Why do people have to be so mean?” You vented, just frustrated with all of it. 

“I can’t answer that. But don’t let this rock your relationship, that would only be giving these people what they want.” She insisted. 

“I’m not going anywhere mom. Cale is stuck with me.” Your words made Laura laugh and you sighed softly. 

“I’m sure he’s so upset about that.” She teased. “My son is absolutely gone for you. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.” 

“I don’t know mom…” You grinned shaking your head. “Makes me wonder what else he got away with that you don’t know about.” You joked. 

“Not funny Y/N.” She lightly chastised. Taking another sip of water you heard the buzz of a phone that wasn’t yours and you followed the sound, finding Cale’s phone with his keys at the front entry. 

“Hey mom...I’m gonna let you go. I don’t want to leave Cale alone too long even if he’s sleeping.” You said, tucking your phone against your ear as you flipped Cale’s over seeing strings of notifications flash across the screen. 

“Sounds good dear. Love you. Let us know if you need anything.” 

“Will do...love you too mom.” 

You didn’t want to invade Cale’s privacy too much but even a quick glance at his phone told you that his teammates were worried about him. Unlocking his phone with the code you’d memorized just a few days into vacation, you opened his group chat and started typing a message. 

Hey guys, it’s Y/N...I haven’t read more than the 1 or 2 messages that flashed across the notifications screen because I don’t want to overstep. Just thought you guys should know that Cale really isn’t in a mindset to look at his phone. He’s not ignoring you...I’m sure he’ll get back to you guys soon...he just needs some time to process. If you have any urgent concerns my cell number is (587) 122- 3456. 

Before you could talk yourself out of the message, questioning if even that was too intrusive, you pressed send, dropping Cale’s phone back with his car keys. It didn’t take more than a minute for your phone to ring and though you hesitated, answering revealed the voice of Gabe Landeskog. 

“Y/N? This is Gabe.” He greeted. 

“Hey Gabe.” You whispered, moving over toward the couch so that you were a little bit farther away from the open bedroom door. 

“How is he?” The question made you sigh, your head falling back against the couch. 

“Not so good.” You admitted. “He’s asleep right now...hopefully his dreams provide him some peace.” 

“And how are you?” He followed up, not bothering to comment on Cale’s status any further.

“Heartbroken. Angry. Helpless. Take your pick.” You groaned. “There’s nothing I can do but be here and it’s frustrating.” 

“Being there is probably more significant than you realize Y/N. Cale is a very private person and if he trusts you that’s not nothing.” As Gabe spoke you realized that even though you’d told your parents about your relationship, Cale must not have told anyone else yet. 

“I know it’s not. I just…I want to fix it. And I know I can’t. I know we just have to wait and let this die out. But in the meantime I have to watch this tear him apart. It’s hard.” Gabe hummed in acknowledgement, a slightly uncomfortable silence filling the air for a moment before he spoke again. 

“All the guys have his back...your back if you guys need anything. I’ll try and get them to back off a little so he’s not overwhelmed when he’s ready to talk. And I’m sure Cale will appreciate you reaching out to us on his behalf. I know the guys are relieved to know he’s being taken care of.”

“Thanks.” You breathed, still thrown by everything that had happened today. 

“Well I’ll let you go. And Y/N... I’ll have Mel add your number to the Better Halves chat...glad you guys figured it out.” Gabe was just a little too intuitive and you shook your head as you ended the call. 

Cale was still asleep when you crawled back into bed beside him, your hands rubbing soothingly along his skin again. With your brain focused on what you could possibly do to make things better, you missed Cale starting to stir, his blue eyes droopy as he peered over at you. 

“I’m sorry…” The sound of his voice made you jump and when you looked over at him, you saw the distraught expression remained on his face. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this…” As he spoke he shifted to sit up, his legs swinging over the edge of the bed. Moving alongside him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling his body back against yours. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Cale. You did nothing wrong. This is not on you. This is on the idiots who think they know what they’re talking about when they don’t even have the most basic of their facts straight.” Cale flinched just slightly, but you felt it, your heart picking up speed. 

“I still caused you pain. I’m not supposed to do that.” Something told you that the next words to come out of your mouth were possibly the most important words spoken in your relationship...more important than ‘I love you’ had been. 

“Cale Douglas Makar…” You declared, refusing to let him get up from the bed as you shuffled to stand in front of him. “You listen to me and you listen to me well. You are not the cause of my pain. I hurt because you hurt. The people that hurt you are the ones that hurt me...not you.” Forcing Cale’s cheeks up to look at you, you brushed your thumbs along his jaw. 

“Never apologize for ‘dragging me into’ something. We are partners, we are equals. You cannot carry the emotional burden of this relationship alone. And lately you’ve been doing more work in that regard than you should. So DO NOT apologize. It’s my turn to carry the weight. Let me. Let me support you like you’ve supported me. Let me care for you like you care for me. Maybe I can’t physically carry you out of a lava tube...but I can lift you up emotionally, mentally...I can give you the strength to get through this. You are not alone. You have me. And I’m strong enough to handle this even though it upsets me. Use me. Please. Don’t push me away because you think you have to protect me and handle this on your own.” 

Cale’s tears dripped along your fingertips and you leaned forward pulling his body into yours. 

“We’re gonna get through this Cale...it’ll all blow over. And when it does it’ll just prove to the rest of the world what we already know. That you’re incredible. And we’re unshakable. So whatever you need. I’m here. All you have to do is say the word.” 

“I love you.” Cale’s words were muffled by your clothing, but you heard him loud and clear. 

“I love you too. Always will.” You assured him, nails scraping against his scalp again. Staying like that until his breathing steadied, you dipped down to kiss him gently but deeply. 

“C’mon...let’s order a bunch of junk food, put some stupid comedy on tv and just relax.” You directed. “Though you should probably call mom first. She’s a little concerned and I know hearing your voice would make a big difference.” 

When he nodded, you stepped back, though you didn’t make it far before Cale was wrapped around you again. If he needed to be a koala tonight, you were perfectly okay with that. 

“Do you wanna use my phone so you don’t have to look at yours?” You asked softly. “I did jump into your team group chat to tell the boys to back off a little so you shouldn’t have as many notifications but you can use mine if you aren’t ready to deal with any of that.” 

Cale didn’t seem at all fazed that you had used his phone but he willingly accepted yours, calling his mom. You’d placed an order for food on your laptop while they talked and upon the end of that conversation, you settled in on the couch for the night, only moving for food or drinks. As another episode of the sitcom Cale had picked ended, you looked down at him snoring softly, his head on your chest. 

Today had been exhausting...this week had been exhausting, but you’d dealt with it together and now Cale knew that he didn’t have to bear the weight of the world by himself. You were bound to have bad days every now and then, but together you could get through so much more than either of you could separately. 

[hockeylvr59]

Not the Only Option Part 4 || Tyson Barrie

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Did I actually finish a series? I know I’m just as amazed. I absolutely loved writing this series but it feels so good to actually have finally finished it. I hope you love reading the conclusion to this little family as much as I loved writing it. 

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1,244

~~~~~

Fifteen months ago you had stood in this same spot, watching as Gabe summoned your boyfriend over to your side of the rink. That night you’d slept together for the first time, attempting to create a child together. 

Tonight you stood here, Mel right beside you as you both balanced your infants on your hips. This was Benjamin and Linnea’s first game and you knew both Tyson and Gabe were so excited to have their babies here to cheer them on. As Tys skated by you, you held Ben’s little fist up to the glass. Soon both Tyson and Gabe lapped around and you smiled as you watched them both babble through the glass at their babies who were draped in tiny Barrie and Landeskog jerseys. 

**

It had been such a whirlwind the past few months but you honestly couldn’t ask for anything better. 

Benjamin had entered the world just hours after Tyson played in the Avalanche’s home opener. A heavily pregnant Mel had been by your side when you went into labor mere minutes after sending Tyson out the door, insisting that you were fine. Certain that labor would likely take at least 12 hours, you hadn’t bothered to alert Tyson, figuring he had plenty of time to play the game before joining you at the hospital. He had yelled at you for that when all was said and done, but you wouldn’t have changed your response at all. 

Honestly, labor had been a lot more tolerable screaming at the television as Tyson got an apple in the first game of the season. Mel simply laughed at you as she ensured the nurses kept you supplied with ice chips. When the game ended you finally called Tyson and instructed him to meet you at the hospital. It was only after he and Gabe had arrived that labor intensified. You refused to grip at Tyson’s hand, not wanting to be responsible for him having broken fingers at the start of a new season. Instead, you let him trace patterns over the back of your hand as you gripped the bars of the hospital bed tightly. 

Though Mel and Gabe insisted on staying, around 1 am you’d convinced them both to go home and rest, not wanting Mel to put her or their daughter’s health at risk. 

As the middle of the night hours slowly ticked by, your labor began quickly progressing, and by 3:30 am your son had made his way into the world. As a screaming, red-skinned little boy squirmed against your chest, you looked up at Tyson who once again had tears in his eyes. Though you were both physically and emotionally exhausted, the exhilaration of holding your son outweighed everything else. 

“Thank you,” Tyson whispered against your temple as he hovered over you and your newborn son. You wanted to insist that you should be thanking him. He was the one that had given you everything you had ever wanted after all. “Thank you for not shooting down my crazy idea. Thank you for letting me love you and loving me in return. Thank you for starting a family with me.” Tyson continued, his lips sealing yours in a soft kiss as you turned your head up to look at him. 

Knowing you didn’t need to voice your thanks for Tyson to know, you kissed him again before returning your attention to the newborn against your chest. He’d settled a little bit since being placed there and you were content to just feel his skin against yours until the nurses came back to steal him away for some tests. 

“What should we name him?” You whispered. You’d been tossing a few names back and forth but hadn’t officially decided anything prior to his arrival. 

“Benjamin?” Tyson had questioned knowing that was one of the few names you’d both agreed on previously. Pondering for a moment you eventually nodded. 

“Benjamin Wyatt Barrie?” 

“Perfect.” Tyson breathed. 

Linnea had entered the world just three weeks after Ben. With Gabe home with an injury and Tyson traveling with the team, you’d often found yourself at the Landeskog residence. Having the help of Gabe and Mel made caring for Ben so much easier and from the first moment you’d laid Ben at Linnea’s side, it was clear that the two babies adored each other. In fact, you and Mel generally had at least two playdates a week, letting your babies bond and spend time together while you and Mel gave each other a little bit of a break. 

**

Glancing back over at Mel, you saw that Linnea was asleep on her shoulder. Ben on the other hand was wide awake, watching as pucks moved around rapidly on the ice in front of him. Ben was only a few months old, but it was already clear that he loves hockey. The older he gets the more you realize that he is 100% Tyson’s son and it never failed to make you smile. 

Tyson lapped around one more time before leaving the ice, blowing a kiss to you and Ben. From there you and Mel headed up to the better halves suite to take in the game. The location of the seats was truly the only difference between this game and the game that started it all. Though Tyson had taken a smaller role to allow for the growth of Makar, it was still incredible watching him on the second power-play unit and when he scored, he pointed up in the direction of the box. 

“Daddy scored that one for you Ben,” You whispered to your sleeping son. “He’s gonna be so upset you missed it.” You teased, your fingers trailing through the dark hair that littered your son’s head. 

A while later, with another win in the books, you joined Mel and the rest of the better halves downstairs as you waited for the boys to shower and dress. When Josty popped out of the locker room, he insisted on stealing Ben for a few minutes and you couldn’t help but smile. Whatever girl eventually won his heart was going to be lucky because he was absolutely fantastic with both Ben and Linnea. 

“Josty! Give my son back!” Your Tyson teased when he finally made his way out of the locker room. He didn’t actually take his son back right away though, instead draping his hands around your waist as he leaned in to kiss you. When he pulled back he dropped a puck from his pocket into your hands and you smiled. 

“Ben’s first game puck from daddy’s goal.” You surmised, fingers running over the tape along the edge that confirmed just that. “I hate to break it to you babe, but he slept through it.” Tyson laughed as he moved to scoop Ben back from Josty. 

“That’s alright. It’s just the first of many.” He proclaimed. “And we can always watch it together later, huh Benny.” Tyson moved through the arena with ease, taking the diaper bag from you and carrying his son until you reached the car. There he gently slid Ben into his seat and buckled him in before opening your door and stealing another kiss. 

As you rode home tucked into the passenger seat, your hand rested on top of Tyson’s over the center console. As you passed under streetlights, the diamond ring on your left hand glittered. 

You were so grateful in vitro was not your only option.