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#I’m just not gonna have him question the 200 year old fox the questioning would never end LFMOAAO
honeymoonjin · 5 years
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Chapter One
Summary: When you hear that your recently deceased grandmother left you her property in her will, at first you think that a dinky old cottage in the middle of nowhere isn’t going to mean much for you. But after spending a night there, you discover something far more valuable than the house itself: a hidden door that leads to another time, the same place but over 200 years in the past. In the late 18th Century, there is a king who will die before his 21st birthday unless you can save him. Will you help him, even if it means leaving your own life behind?
A/N: It’s here! Please enjoy the first chapter of my new fantasy AU, Sovereign! It’s been a joy to write so far and I hope you love it as much as I do!
“Okay, what time was it again?” You adjust your cellphone, clamping it between your ear and your shoulder as you rohjdojwiggle a worn key into the front door.
“Come on, Y/n, we’ve been through this! It doesn’t matter what time you come over as long as it’s before 2, because that’s when I have to get ready for work. Maybe like ten? That should give us a decent block of time to hang out.”
You smile at your boyfriend’s lilting voice and finally get the door to unlock and swing open. “Okay, can do. I just got to my grandma’s old place, so I’ll be spending the night here, and then I’m all good to go this morning.” It’s musty inside, but not actually that messy or dirty. You tug your overnight bag in behind you and close the door, wandering around the cramped cottage aimlessly as you chat on the phone.
“Oh, yeah, what’s the big idea with that? I don’t get why I couldn’t come with and keep you company.”
“Something in the will,” you mumble half-heartedly, “it makes no sense, but she wanted me to come here when I received the rights and spend a night alone. I don’t know, she was a pretty superstitious and sentimental lady. I’m sure she had a reason.” You come to a stop in the poorly-lit hallway, staring at a strange sight on one of the walls. “Anyway, this house is so far away from uni and it’s not exactly prime living. I’ve already called mum to get her to give me the details for our real estate agent. Maybe whatever cash I make off this dump will help put me through my last year of med school.”
Jimin laughs on the other end. “From what I’ve heard, you’d be lucky to get a couple coffees in exam season for the price that place is worth. You’d be better off keeping it, maybe one day you and I can move in together.”
You squat down as he talks and run your hand along the wall. For some reason, embedded no more than two feet off the floor, is a crystal doorknob. You had assumed it was for a cupboard, but there weren’t even any seams in the wooden panels of the wall where the door could be. You try twisting it experimentally, but it doesn’t give.
“Y/n?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah, Jiminie, that would be really nice.” You stand up again and continue down the hallway, dismissing the architectural oddity. “How about you come out here tomorrow night and see what you think of it? It would need some serious renovation, but we could make it work.”
You pause as you hear shuffling on the line. “Fuck. Sorry, baby, one of my classmates just text to say our grades for the midterm have been put up, I’m gonna go check.”
You smile softly. “No worries, I’ll see you when I come over tomorrow. Should be there around ten, like you said. I love you.”
“Love you more. Bye, baby.”
When the line goes dead, you put your phone away and decide to not bother with cleaning the place up at all before retiring. It’s nearly midnight, and you came straight here after a day of classes, so you’re ready to go set up the spare room.
You hadn’t really visited this place often in recent years; truthfully, you hadn’t seen your grandmother much since you grew up. You did have faint childhood memories of listening to her rambling for hours about what flowers fairies liked to grow in their gardens and how to listen to the trees whispering. Your parents quickly realized all her stories of magic and fantasy were making you a very dreamy young girl, and from the age of around eleven or twelve they stopped taking you out to the countryside to visit.
But now here you were, full circle. Lying in the narrow guest bed you had frequented as a child, one year away from graduating from medical school, something you had no doubt she would’ve found cold and absurd. She had liked to tell you you’d become a princess or a witch or something wonderful like that. Doctor didn’t sound nearly as exciting.
The exhaustion from the day as well as your reminiscing pulled you quickly into unconsciousness, and you slept well enough until a loud thud awoke you.
You shot up in bed, heart racing. There were no other houses for miles with the cottage being so far from the city, and it was untamed forest rather than farmland, so if the racket was an animal that had somehow gotten in the house, it was probably wild. After waiting a few moments, three similar thuds resonate through the small building. With one hand clutching your phone, torchlight on, and the other rubbing at your sternum in an effort to calm down, you sneak slowly out of your room and into the hallway. Blinking to adjust to the glare of your phone light, you barely pay attention to your surroundings, fully focused on the racket coming from the kitchen.
Upon arriving, you relax with a great sigh when you’re confronted not with a fox or a rat or a burglar, but an overly fluffy black cat sitting delicately on the kitchen bench, licking a paw. Below him is a misshapen pile of candles, another one of your grandmother’s obsessions, that the cat has apparently pushed off the counter.
You click your tongue and hold out your free hand gently. “Here, kitty kitty. Here, kitty kitty. Oh, you’re so cute! Where did you come from, kitty?”
You recoil when what can only be described as a scoff comes out of the creature’s mouth. But, like it could understand you perfectly, it leaps gracefully onto the floor and leads you back the way you came, tail swishing impatiently. You follow dumbly, until the cat comes to a stop in the hallway, in front of an open door.
You frown and stare at the black shadowy square in shock. The doorknob, which before seemed so absurdly placed, was now attached to a door of the same wood paneling as the wall, swung open to reveal an open space behind it. You swear just earlier today, or perhaps at this point it was yesterday, that doorknob wouldn’t move at all, and now a cat was sitting in front of it moodily, licking a paw and whipping its tail against the carpet.
What was odder still was the height. It wasn’t a full doorway like the rest of the house; really, were it not for the apparent depth of the hole, you would’ve called it a cupboard. Nevertheless, the cat blinks up at you with baleful silver eyes and slips into the blackness, completely disappearing from your view.
You patiently wait for a few moments for it to have a look around and come back out, but there’s no sign of it. “Kitty,” you call out awkwardly, “come out of there. Where did you go?”
But silence is your only response, so you just sigh and hunker down on your hands and knees, gingerly sticking your hand into the cupboard, which, judging by the way your arm disappears down to the shoulder with no back end in sight, is perhaps a room more so than a cupboard. You wave your outstretched hand back and forth, but the only thing you come in contact with is roughhewn brick, scratching your knuckles as you pull your hand back.
Whatever it is, it isn’t a room or a cupboard. It’s a hallway of sorts. Your grandma has a secret hallway in her house. “Okay, you got me, I’m coming in now, kitty.”
After no response, you prop your phone up so that the light splays as far into the darkness as possible and begin the crawl. Your shoulders scrape against the sides and your hair keeps catching on the rough edges on the ceiling, but you crawl on.
It must be no more than five or so meters that you travel before your hand knocks against a solid wall instead of more open air. Fuck. You’re at a dead end, with no space to turn around. But just before you can start to panic at your situation, you remember the cat. It must’ve gone somewhere, so you tentatively push against the solid wall, only to feel it give way beneath your fingertips. It’s another door.
A warm light greets you, but it’s such a change from the pitch black of the tiny crawlspace that you squint, pulling yourself free finally. When you do open your eyes again, you look around in confusion. The walls are lined with bookshelves, some filled with incredibly ancient-looking leatherbound books, and others with glass jars containing unidentifiable powders and herbs. Some of them even have objects floating in some strange clear liquid. In the middle of the room is a table covered in papers and rudimentary laboratory equipment, like thick glass beakers and iron crucibles.
You don’t recognize this part of the house, but even if you did, something’s clearly not right. Because to the far right of you, in the corner of this rather large room, is a hearth with a roaring fire blazing inside it. And directly in front of that is a tall man. Your instinct is to scream, but the stranger seems awfully calm for having broken in and started a fire, so you just clear your throat awkwardly.
He turns around, and you’re taken aback by how young he is. You never expected good-looking young people to stoop to thieving, but there’s a first for everything. “May I help you?” he questions pleasantly.
You frown at his patronizing tone. “Uh, yeah. Maybe start with why the fuck you’re in my house.”
He brushes down his hair, a startling silver that glints in the firelight. “This isn’t your house yet, actually.”
You tilt your head in disbelief, finally standing up off the ground to be a little more on level with him. “Are you serious? Yes, it is. The will was signed two days ago. Who are you?”
His eyes soften as he stares off into the middle distance. “The will? So, she’s passed away then.” His gaze flickers back up to you. “I hate to break it to you, Y/n, but you don’t own this house yet. In fact, you won’t own it for another two hundred and seventy years, give or take.”
You feel your blood run cold. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Welcome to seventeen-forty-three, Y/n.”
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kob131 · 6 years
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQhsvkEfg3w
*Busts through the wall*
Hello Muffin Man Dan. It's been some time since you’ve entered into my sights huh?
So you wanna try and fight now? Fine then, let’s see if you can even begin to challenge me then.
“This video is a huge video project I’ve been working on with multiple RWBYtubers helping out.”
So that means, by how you treat the CRWBY, you’re not allowed a single mistake or misstep.
Good to know Dan.
Chapter 1: Flaws of RWBY
So Dan, with a target this fucking huge and easy to hit, surely you can do have a percentage of at least 10% valid arguments nd not just throw a bunch of shit at the wall and pretend you did something great when one out of a hundred pieces sticks to the wall right?
… NOPE!
Dan doesn’t even make ONE valid argument. The man had a bullseye the size of Texas and somehow managed to miss it while also shooting himself in the head.
His first arguments consists of him saying ‘Well, you were supporting a small company and a fledgling show before so being positive about them then was okay!’ … You know, ignoring how RT was being supported by the creators of HALO, had made the internet sensation Red Vs. Blue for ten years to this point, Monty had made Haloid and Dead Fanatsy among other things ect. Everyone EXCEPT the writers (you know, the people you attack the most) had experience before this so by your own argument you’re wrong. Not to mention the fact that not only didn’t stop assholes from attacking the first  two Volumes but the first two Volumes are STILL what you need to get through in order to get to the latter more professional Volumes so it STILL affects the show long after Rt has grown.
This all ignoring the NUMEROUS fans who started the show after Monty died and had no nostalgia or bias for the man to sustain them unlike you and they all almost UNANIMOUSLY agree the later Volumes are better. And before you try to argue that I’m using the fallacy of ‘Argument Ad Populum”: A. ‘Good’ is inherently subjective so the audience defines what is good and what isn’t. And B. You USE the audience in your argument later so you can’t exactly claim that with my argument without also destroying a latter argument of your own.’
He also tries to peddle off FloofArtist as someone whose trust worthy. For those of you who don’t know, FloofArtist’s beef with the creataors started when he asked Miles for info on Dust and Aura over TWitter and never got an answer...even though he went to an RTX beforehand and asked the CRWBY a question to their faces. The question? ‘How did Qrow get Pyrrha’s armor?’
So he basically pulled that nerd scene from the Simpsons. And then decides to get pissy when he doesn’t get answer on a social media site when the guy is doing something else. I ask, does that sound like someone who is intellectually honest? Or does that sound like someone who tries to put people into dishonest situations and would logically lie his ass off? Yeah Dan is basically saying ‘Oh you don’t know why this politician is bad, go watch CNN/Fox News!’
He then tries to say that ‘ever since V3, the fandom has generally agreed the fight scenes were missing something’ so, you know, he’s using the fanbase here to prove his point even though the same fandom contradicts him everywhere else and he’s gonna smack talk said fandom later on. Also the fanbase generally agrees the fight scenes got back on track in Volume 6 so uh, your point fails.
I could go into his talk about chorography but all he does is talk about interpolating, the neo vs. yang fight, some cuts and just generally does nothing wrong arguing.
And that’s it. This whole segment was supposed to be all about the flaws of the show and he made TWO points. Two points that were deader on arrival than Michael Jackson. Congrats Dan, you completely glossed over so many other issues that naming them all and explaining myself would take me longer than this video in a chapter named ‘Flaws with RWBY’ in a video supposedly a third talking about RWBY the show. Couldn’t even do the bare minimum huh Dan? Fucking pathetic.
Chapter 2: Unprofessionalism
Oh boy, am I gonna have fun here...
So he begins this off by showing a tweet from Lindsay that you can barely read where he claims she’s smack talking people who don’t like the ‘forced diversity’ in RWBY, saying that they’re the people giving them money. You know, ignoring the fact that not all of these people contribute to the show by buying merch, the show is FREE so no, just watching it doesn’t mean you support the show financially, they’re actively trying to strangle money from the creators by lying about them and using them for their political bullshit, you’re USING the fanbase to make this point (the same one you are smack talking and dare gonna smack talk) and this is Lindsay’s PERSONAL Twitter.
Oh an, not like Dan will go on HIS twitter to bitch about every single person who criticizes him, acting far worse than anything he shows here or will show, actively attacks his own critics individually and as a group and shows FAR FAR worse cases of what he’s bitching about.
He then goes onto say that the creators all live in an echo chamber and they lash out before returning to safety. So you know, basically everyone single one of the RWBY critic’s Twitters. No seriously, go onto any video made by a RWBY critic and treat them with 1/1000th of thee contempt and harshness they treat the CRWBY. You’ll end up on Twitter with a snap. So once again, Dan can’t even BEGIN to live up to his standards.
He then plays the Miles clip where he lashes out against critics of the show which seems bad..until you remember that Dan alone has accused them of abusing Monty, using their dead friend as a weapon against them, repeatedly lied about them, riled up his fans into attacking Miles and so much more. And again, this is JUST Dan. And THEN remember that when Dan gets called a single name, he goes on twitter to whine about it, calls everyone else names and then makes videos mocking them so he STILL has no right to say this shit.
He then tries to claim that everyone tells them the same shit which means he’s once again using the fanbase he smack talks for his point even as it contradicts him as damn near everyone loved Volume 6 and many have even said it’s the best Volume of RWBY.
He then tries to deflect criticism against him because he KNOWS he’s setting himself up for a roasting by saying ‘well. I’m criticizing rich people with attitudes so it’s okay!’ … which doesn’t work when you realize that I have about $7 to my name and he gets YouTube money every month and yet I’m still not allowed to criticize him. Even ignoring how fallacious this argument as it somehow means he’s above criticism even as he’s FAR worse in the EXACT same ways: not only does this apply to his OWN critics (you know, the gusy he treats worse than RT has ever done) but Dan is being EVEN MORE divisive than how he sees RT being.
He also tries to make some talk about how them being popular means they deserve to be criticized because betterment of society and our culture and celelbrities and blah blah blah. So basically, “I can ignore your humanity because you’re popular and you don’t act as my slave.” Once again, I only have under 200 followers and at my peak on my old blog I barely had around 500 whereas Dan has 10k subscribers and the people on reddit who criticize him probably have even LESS than me and yet he acts EVEN WORSE so...why should anyone listen to you?
He also tries to leech off the Vic situation by criticizing them for firing Vic. Let’s ignore how this is pandering to the anti-SJW people mobbing around this and look at it like this: Vic is the voice of Broly and Edward Elrich. Meaning he’s far more famous than Rooster Teeth. Sso by Dan’s own logic, they’re ALLOWED to do this stuff since Vic is more famous and more of a celebrity than the entire company. Great job Dan. Also he tries using the fanbase again. We already went over why he lost that right. Oh and uh if you look at Dan’s Twitter feed: ‘https://twitter.com/Obiwanjezz/status/1106810239418945537‘ ‘https://twitter.com/maidmeta/status/1081040501745188864‘ Oh look at what Dan retweeted. Hm, seems pretty damn contradictory to what Dan seems to be projecting. Almost like he’s just pandering to people with an irrational hate of RT to get an echo chamber around him...
Then he goes on and on about a bunch of barely connect bullshit about lesbian fetishists supporting the show just because ‘lesbians’ (even though so many praise Volume 6 without mention Bumbleby) and how even the most venerated RWBYtubers are sick of the show (only citing the lair Floof from before), R/RWBY agreeing with him (with him citing a post that utterly denies him because ‘durr I upvoted it’ even though you can CHANGE YOUR VOTE.) You know, bunch of bullshit that isn’t worth talking about.)
The he tries smack talking the entire RWBY reddit for slander and such (when the worst he’s gotten is accusations of datamining which he’s shown to be talking about) while hes accused the CRWBY of basically grave robbing and disgracing their dead friends work. Again, look in the damn mirror Dan.
Then he makes this big compliation of people in the reddit being sensitive...
Which I can blow out of the water in ONE blow:
Dan has made and removed from his channel no less than THREE videos on me alone.
A comment takes about a  minute to type. A video takes HOURS. So uh...yeah, pretty sure Danny boy here takes the cake.
So then Dan proceeds to say that the fandom is responsible for the ending of Volume 6 (so the fandom is responsible for one of the most conclusive endings to a Volume we’ve ever gotten? Maybe this fandom is worth saving after all!) because they’re all horny and need to fuck. (gee, strawman much?) Even though he’s thrown massive shits for not getting the same treatment.
Chapter 4 (guess I missed the chapter 3 mark. Meh): Representation.
I’m just gonna summarize this entire last part for you guys:
Strawman about entire fanbase liking Volume 6 = gay pandering (ignoring people like Unicorn of War again...)
Talks about homophobes
Leech off Vic
RT is desperate.
Gives doctored screenshots of tweets cutting out any context.
Contradictions (criticizes people for using memes are arguments while using memes as arguments).
And that’s it.
To which I respond by:
You’re the same guy whose going back against everything he’s said on his twitter about politics PRECISELY when it benefits you while you contradict yourself numerous times, your video devolves into pointless rambling and you destroy your own arguments.
Sounds like you’re the desperate one here.
Gee I wonder why? is it because the fanbase liked the Volume even without Bumbleby and you figured out you couldn’t rely on them to support your egotism anymore? Certainly explains your contradictory political stances and how you suddenly start talking about Vic and Adam just as the topics can net you an echo chamber to hide in and protect your ego.
And really, that goes to show why you fail on a fundamental level Dan. You have no convictions, no standards, no morals, no integrity to give substance to your words. Everything you’ve said here either contradicts what you say before or after/applies to you on a much greater scale. And really, your community is no better. You are all willing to throw away what you supposedly fight for and what you stand for when it becomes inconvenient for you, preaching values of self reflection, humility and improvement through criticism...all while failing to embody those values or give any meaning to them beyond lip service. 
Nothing about you feels real or genuine Dan. NONE of you assholes feel real or genuine in what you say or do because you’ve been proven to contradict yourself and betray your values when you need something. And thus, everything you and your friends do and say just becomes ‘Do as I say because I think I’m always right.’ 
And guess what Dan? People, especially the artistically attuned, don’t resonate or accept that. The people who actually care about RWBY, who want to see an artistic vision flourish and grow, sense your insincerity and ego and instinctively reject you because you accept your words would be to accept your toxicity into themselves. And look now. The CRWBY have earned back the fandom’s love and trust while your toxicity consumes you and all but your ilk abandon you to pastuers greater than you.
And it makes sense why you seem to hate RWBY on a fundamental level now because the show challenges people to grow and evolve, to become better people, to live up to their ideals, to prove themselves right. And before, RWBY never put those messages to the test. But now that it has, you reject it because it indirectly calls you out and your ego can’t take it. You can give lip service to quality, to artistic integrity and to Monty all you want now but it’s become certain what you actually mean.
It’s pretty damn pathetic to see you break down little by little over these past few months as you desperately try to bend the world to your vision only to get smacked in the face. And to be truthful, I‘m kind of proud of the fact that I played a pretty big part in your degradation as you crumbled more and more from the pressure I and eventually reality pushed on you. All while I continued to grow and evolve. Wanna know why?
Because I stuck to my ideals and morals.
I think it’s time I finished this little battle or ours for the most part. You’re no longer worth fighting. Just like RWDE for the most part has lost all it’s strength now.
So with this I say adieu. Come join the adults when you’re ready to grow up Dan.
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moon-dust-lust · 5 years
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I write bad stand up comedy so thanks
So nice of everyone to come tonight, on a good day I have no more than four people that look at me at one time, so this is definitely making me severely uncomfortable. I'm only 20 years old which means just like every other 20 year old I cry in the shower and use tinder. I at first thought of tinder as a great way to pick up prey as a serial killer. I watched criminal minds a kid and I watch FOX news so every predator showcased on those forums are white dudes. I am also from eugene oregon so pretty much all of tinder looks like the milk aisle. Some are organic, some are fat free and others are being fought over by two different women who will send you death threats over facebook and try and sabotage your relationship. It is just great. Anyways, I recently decided as an in debt 20 year old with too may bills to pay and a customer service job that I'm already dead inside, so if I died it'd be pretty much how it is now except I would no longer have obligations and all the guys from my high school would finally pay attention to me. My first experience was just as about as fucked as it gets. He was this hot guy, six foot, covered in tattoos. He had just moved from utah, or illinois or somewhere else unimportant. He asked me for my snapchat, which ws already a flag because he was 26 and no one except someone over the age of 12, a soccer mom that's had a little too much wine, or a celebrity uses it; but I let it slide. So he's sending me pics and it looks like he's outside. He's sitting in a tent and so I'm like, "oh are you camping? that's fun. Don't let me keep you from anything". He's all, "No I live in a tent". Come to find out he had no job, no car and was living in a tent on someone's property. He was a homeless man. Now, how I found hopefully the only homeless man on tinder is beside me, but the weirdest part is how he had a phone still and also how he thought he could pick up chicks. Like did he think as a date i would let him shower at my place? Or was he thinking my ass would get fully dressed up in make up and heels just to spend the night in his tent? Would he make me bring my own firewood and sleeping bag? My own can of beans?  My experiences with men are pretty much summed up by this interaction alone. My first date ever, I showed up at this guy's house and it was infested with rabbits. I am talking ten or twelve. Then he took me up to his room to watch a movie, door open because this was high school and I had never even seen a condom before and his mom was downstairs watching something with jennfier aniston in it. His room was COVERED in pictures of his ex girlfriend. Pictures she drew of them, gifts she gave him, pictures of them together etc. SO, I was so uncomfortable but I was thinking it was probably just because he was too lazy to take them down. I was so wrong. So, so very wrong. Let me preface this by saying this was my first date, EVER. I had no idea what it was supposed to be like. He was a quarter back and he was all in shape and tan and that was pretty much all I knew about it. He had a really cliché rich white name and he was one of the only sophomores with a car and no curfew. He was a real bad boy. So after my date I got approached by his ex girlfriend at a party. She then told me that he was sending pictures of me while I wasn't looking to her and telling her how great of a time he was having and how he didn't need her. This was my first god damn date. I just cannot believe the progress I have made in the 5 years I have been dating. I never dated in middle school because i wore blue eyeliner and had a perm in the late 200s. I was really setting myself up to fail to begin with. I had one relationship that lasted three years. There is this funny thing about guys where they start out pretty normal and then after they really get comfortable they start to cheat on you and go crazy. It is just the weirdest thing. It's like the gremlins except instead of not feeding them after midnight you provide the with emotional stability and all the love in your hard. Big mistake ladies, Am I right? This guy I dated was so much fun. There was one time he told me I was absolutely perfect. He would tell me "Everything about you is perfect, except you could use a boob job". look, I will be the first to say i have the littlest titties in america, but I'll be damned if you dont appreciate them. They are like one piece of chocolate or the very back row of seats of a concert. You're just glad you got a little taste of your favorite thing, okay? I am like the bronze medal you get at a sporting event. Bitch you should just be happy you got any trophy at all. This guy was a real whackadoodle. He would cheat on me and then not let me go out with dudes, or ladies, bisexual pride woot woot, because he thought i would cheat to get back at him. But jokes on him because nobody likes me and I also didn't have any friends. I ended up breaking up with him because he was obviously terrible and he decided to stalk me. All i could think about when he would harass my family and try and show up at my school and had his parents blow up my phone is, "now you miss my lil tities?" who was gonna pay for all this shit in the first place? where did he think i was gonna get the fucking money for this? I am a broke college student, I drive a car that sounds like an eighty year old at the back of a movie theater coughing and I work at a restaurant where everyone is so stoned, it's like I'm at in the middle of portland on a saturday night. I go to the university of oregon. A very fun school, full of people who have no interest in talking to me. In their defense half the time I have my headphones in and I am crying so I guess it's just in everyone's best interest to not get into it. I am a psychology major, which I call the boring white girl major. I got into it to become a sex therapist, mostly because I am not having any and really want to find out if there's a book on how to make people not continuously reject you, but also because sex is a hard topc and I talk about it like a human urban dictionary. The worst part about the university is the talking. There was one time I had a 200 person anthropology class and these girls from a sorority who all obviously took the class together to cheat and not do anything ever, were describing their friend tiffany or gemma or some other rich fake tanned name's vomit. The color, texture, smell, everything. They were analyzing what she had eaten the previous morning and all the alcohol she mixed and all I could think was, " if you spent half as much time talking about your friend samantha's vomit as you would listening you wouldn't be failing this class and self medicating with alcohol to the point where you throw up because youre a bunch of clemintine sharp nailed looking green beans". Like i pay too much to listen to you explain the thong you bought and how it chafes your butthole when you dry hump alex from the frat across the street who is also fucking tina with the fake nose and even though he gave you clamydia six months ago, you trust him now you know? I own one bra and one pencil. I am wearing two completely different socks, one is a knee high and the other is an ankle one. Whenever I am hungry i dont go to sushi, I go to bed. So please Gretchen from Bitch, Bump &grind and beyond stop and let me at least get a C so I can land a job that makes me 12 dollars an hour and I can be poor in a different setting. I work full time and go to school. I am not like most millenials. I don't have time to eat avocado toast or catch HPV. At my little restaurant in junction city, the staff is absolutely questionable. I was the first girl there who was single and under the age of 40, so naturally I became bate for every man in society you hope you never run into in life. The first was our host. He looked like bowzer from mario if he were a white middle class man. He was shaped like a tear drop, so his head was small and oddly shaped and the rest of him just got wider and rounder as you went down. He always wore the same button down shirt, I think to try and impress me, but like it was his only button down shirt. Anyways, he is what I call the lingerer. If you are a woman who has ever had a man like you at work, you know exactly what I am talking about. He would follow around, but like at a creepy slow distance and he would stare at me until he thought i was looking and then looked away. He would also reach over or around me just so he could be close to me. It's weird and painful to watch. He also asked my sister, who also works there, if i was a lesbian because i wasnt immediately interested in him. Let me digress for a moment and say that just because a woman rejects you doesnt mean she loves only vagina. It usually means you arent a good person, or she just doesnt wanna date, or she has a boyfriend already, or you have no common interests, or she doesnt want to mix work with her personal life or maybe she has something personal against blonde guys, white guys, guys with glasses, she dated someone with your name and its weird, she has a lot of issues with touching, you have weird hands, you have bad breath, you are bad at your job, she is asexual, or THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON SHE JUST DOESNT LIKE YOU AT ALL EVER. Men are so vapid about that sometimes. Anyways, he gave me a cash tip off one of my tables and I, trying to be civil was all, "oh i love free money thank you" trying to relate to him because he seemed like the type to bring a gun to work and I really wasnt in the mood to get shot or followed out to my car so i gotta keep is civil you know? so apparently you cannot be friends with sexual predators because then he gets all close and whispers in my ear "is that how I get in your pants, by throwing money at you?". The tip he gave me was only five dollars. If is ass thought having sex with me would cost only five dollars, he has no idea how bad inflation is or how much i spend on amazon a month. Also, even with my little titties and cellulite, no amount of money would let me fuck a guy who looked like barnie the dinosaur if he were a white pale ghost. I have very low standards, but they exist for sure. somewhere. deep down. The next guy i had was this old cook. he was 65 and he cooked in the morning. His wife was obviously dead, in his basement or both because he was always saying nasty things to me. He told me that if he were forty years younger he would hire me as his kid's babysitter so he could fuck me. He also told me he was extremely attracted to me and terrified of me at the same time. He one time came up to me and asked me what i had in my front seat because i was hiding something under a coat. He has rotted out teeth and children older than me. It is men like those guys that make me think, "am I really that bad to the point this is as good as it gets?
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thrashermaxey · 6 years
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Ramblings: All-Star Game, Players Who Could Be Strong Post-All Star Break (Jan 27)
The All-Star Game “mini tournament” was played on Saturday, with the Metropolitan Division knocking off the Central Division 10-5 in the final. Sidney Crosby, who missed Friday’s Skills Competition with an illness, seemed to benefit from the rest, as he was named All-Star Game MVP. Crosby collected a total of eight points in the two mini-games.
To get to the final, the Metropolitan knocked off the Atlantic 7-4, while the Central took down the Pacific by a score of 10-4. The Central/Pacific match, which was the only one I watched, was hardly a captivating game and not even one my 9-year-old (who normally gets excited about All-Star Games) could get interested in. The Centrals took a 10-1 lead before the Pacifics made the game somewhat closer.
In spite of my lack of interest in this All-Star Game, I don’t want to disparage All-Star Games in general. To me, the game is targeted more toward kids than someone of my demographic. The NHL keeps trying to change the game’s format to generate interest, but because nothing has really caught on we’re back to some form of traditional divisional/conference format. For fans that have absolutely no interest in this game, it’s a great weekend to catch up on something else. A movie, a weekend trip, reconnecting with an old friend who has no interest in hockey, catching up on housework, or whatever. As my wife keeps reminding me, there’s more to life than hockey.
Here’s the NHL’s puck tracking technology in action, as shown on NBC. Do you think this will improve your viewing experience and knowledge of the game, or do you think of it more as a distraction that takes pixels away from your high-def experience? So far I don’t mind it. It seems as though there’s a return of the old Fox “glow puck”, although in a more subtle format.
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Before the game, US Women’s National Team player Brianna Decker received $25,000 for posting the best time in the Premiere Passer competition, even though she was simply demonstrating the challenge before the NHL players. What a weekend for the women.  
We’re gonna #PayDecker. pic.twitter.com/TbWSD7NAQP
— CCM Hockey (@CCMHockey) January 26, 2019
Skills competition highlights/recap and my fantasy hockey lessons on Peter Chiarelli’s time in Edmonton can be found in yesterday’s Ramblings. Just to clarify, in case anyone misunderstood: I am not against the idea of making trades at all, just I am not a fan under normal circumstances of making massive multiplayer (eg. 5-for-5) type deals or many deals. Rebuilds might be the exception to that.
From my vantage point, I reject at least two-thirds of the trade offers that I receive (that includes fantasy baseball and football, not just hockey). So I am naturally skeptical about trade offers that I receive, which has a lot to do with my own analytical personality. If there is promise and I don’t believe that the other owner is simply attempting to one-up me, I might counteroffer and see where it goes.
Some advice for your own trade offers, if I may: Take the time to determine what the other owner might need. I’ve even found that a note in the offer like “I see you could use help with ___, while I am looking for ___” will go a long way in how well the other owner receives the offer. I’ve made successful deals with this note both as the person making the offer and the person receiving the offer.
*
A reader recently inquired about which players have a tendency to heat up or finish strong after the All-Star Game. If your fantasy hockey league has a trade deadline (as many do), you’ll need to start formulating those potential buy-low trades right away.
One condition for making this list: Each of these players has struggled or underperformed at times this season, yet finished within or near the top 30 in post-All-Star-Break scoring last season. Beyond that, I’ll try to provide other reasons that the player could at least be in for a better second half.
Anze Kopitar
Hopefully you didn’t draft Kopitar thinking he would match last season’s career high of 92 points. He won’t even come close to that this season, as he is currently on pace for 57 points. That’s really a down season when you consider how many more players are scoring at or near a point-per-game pace this season. His current scoring pace of 0.69 PTS/GP is actually at the same pace as his total from two seasons ago, when he scored 56 points.
But there is hope for Kopitar. So far in January, he has collected five goals and eight points in ten games. Considering that he has yet to score a power-play goal (with nine power-play assists), one would think that he should be due. The way that Kopitar drives the play for the Kings, you’d have to believe that he can score at a higher pace than this.
I’d also have to throw in the main reason that Kopitar made this list, which is because he scored 41 points in 33 games after last season’s All-Star Game. Only five players had more points after last season’s All-Star Game.  He’s also historically been a slow starter but strong finisher. Between the All-Star Game and the end of the regular season, Kopitar has finished within the top 50 in points in each of the previous three seasons.
Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn
I’m going to lump these two Stars together, not only because they were both criticized publicly by Stars’ CEO Jim Lites, but also because both are traditionally stronger in the second half. Comments aside, Seguin’s and Benn’s recent second-half performances support an increase in points per game.
Consider the following points-per-game totals for each:  
  2018-19
(before ASG)
2017-18
(after ASG)
2016-17
(after ASG)
2015-16
(after ASG)
Seguin
0.92
1.09
0.78
0.90
Benn
0.71
1.00
0.90
0.97
Since Lites’ comments, Seguin has already been scoring at over a point per game (13 points in 11 games, including 7 goals). If you’d like to come along for the ride, he won’t necessarily be cheap to acquire, yet there’s a much better chance that Benn will be. Benn has struggled during January with just three points (2g-1a) in eight games, so he’s a player you could really buy low on. In fact, he hasn’t scored below 0.90 points per game post All-Star Game since the lockout-shortened 2012-13 season. That’s a player that you’ll want to target if you’re looking for second-half studs.
As much as Stars’ top management believes that Benn and Seguin are underperforming, the Stars need these two players. Expect coach Jim Montgomery to ride Benn and Seguin even more as the Stars attempt to grab a playoff spot in a very crowded Western Conference.
Rickard Rakell
After scoring a career-high 69 points last season, Rakell was sidetracked for a month by an ankle injury. But even if you remove the injury, Rakell’s scoring rate is way down, as he has just eight goals all season and is only on pace for 52 points.  
There’s reason to be positive this season if you’re a Rakell owner, though. He had a better post-All-Star-Game pace (1.03 PTS/GP) than his pre-All-Star-Game pace (0.8 PTS/GP). And as for the eight goals, you could argue that he hasn’t has puck luck just as he hasn’t had injury luck. Rakell’s 7.6 SH% is well below his career average of 14.6%, which could result in his goal total nearly doubling over the second half.
Rakell might end up lining up with Ryan Getzlaf and whoever, and he’s not going to have a ton of scoring options around him during the second half in Anaheim. But for the reasons listed above, he seems worth a gamble for a stronger second half.
Shayne Gostisbehere
The Ghost has been exactly that during the first half, as he has been held to just 20 points and a minus-12 in 48 games. His owners certainly expected a whole lot more after a breakout 65-point performance last season.
Like Rakell, Gostisbehere was particularly strong after the All-Star break, scoring at basically a point-per-game pace (32 points in 33 games). A good sign is that Gostisbehere is on place for close to 200 shots again this season, but he has just five goals to show for it. As well, the Flyers’ power play has been much worse than expected, converting on just 13.3% of its opportunities (29th in NHL). With its offensive weapons, there’s a good chance it could turn around. Since Ghost is a focal point of that power play, his offensive totals would turn around as a result.
Some positive signs recently, if you’re looking for something to build on: Ghost has three points over his last three games, and he is a plus-8 over his last six games (improving from a minus-20 to a minus-12 in the process). The Ghost owner in your league might be getting impatient – why not send out an offer?
*
For more players who could potentially finish the season on a high note, don’t forget to pick up your copy of the Midseason Guide. As well, the Midseason Guide will be able to answer a whole lot more of your fantasy hockey questions and specific issues related to your team.
I should also mention that during the Wednesday Ramblings, Cam Robinson will provide you with some players that could potentially struggle after the All-Star break.
*
For more fantasy hockey information, you can follow me on Twitter @Ian_Gooding.
from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-all-star-game-players-who-could-be-strong-post-all-star-break-jan-27/
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Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
"Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
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Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
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Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
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""I have the title to and own my car, does ohio still require that i carry state minimum insurance?
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Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
Scott Mississippi Cheap car insurance quotes zip 38772
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junker-town · 7 years
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9 memories from the all-time classic Texas-USC Rose Bowl, shared by Mack Brown and Matt Leinart
Even the QB who lost the 2006 Rose Bowl considers it the best game of all time.
The losing quarterback in the greatest national championship game of the century now remembers that night a lot like you do. There’s still pain, but in the 11 years and seven months since Vince Young sprinted past the right pylon on a fourth-and-5 to deny USC a second BCS title in a row, Matt Leinart’s lingering sentiment isn’t grief.
“Every time the game gets brought up, I just think, ‘Man, what if?’” Leinart, now a Fox analyst says. “We were so close. We had the game won, and obviously they made the plays in the end, but you just felt like we kind of let the game slip away from us. Credit Texas. But that’s really what I think about. And then, as I’ve gotten older, I just think more about being a part of that game, just the history of it, and really thinking back and just thinking, ‘Wow.’ I think it’s the greatest game ever played in college football.”
Ahead of the first Texas-USC meeting since, SB Nation talked to Leinart and Texas’ head coach at the time, Mack Brown.
1. Texas and USC were ready for each other.
This was a unique title game, featuring two unbeaten teams who’d spent every week of the season as the No. 1 (USC) and 2 (Texas) teams in the AP Poll.
Brown:
One of our players took a shot at USC [weeks before the game]. ‘They’re not good,’ one of those kind of things. So when we got back home, we sat down with all of our players and said, ‘Look, they’re real good. They’ve got two Heisman Trophy winners [Leinart and Reggie Bush]. They’re averaging 50 points a game. So don’t look stupid. Don’t look like a fool. This is one of the best teams ever, if not the best team ever.’
We actually got a little theme that we would act like we were the story of Troy, and we were gonna be in the wooden horse, we were gonna slip into the city, and we were gonna keep our mouths shut. Then after the game was over, we could do our talking, if we had done our job, but let’s don’t be stupid enough to act like this isn’t a great team.
Leinart:
It’s only human nature to watch other teams play. And I know Texas and all their players, they wanted us bad and all that, but still, it was one game at a time for us. We had the Notre Dame game, Fresno State, we had a lot of games where it was looking pretty dicey there for a while, and we found a way to win. Texas had some games like that, too.
But naturally, just as competitors and teams, you’re always kind of keeping an eye on, ‘OK, if we get to the championship, who are we gonna play?’
2. Brown felt Texas got an advantage from a scheduling coincidence.
Brown:
It was really a break for us in my estimation, looking back, that we played Michigan the year before in that stadium. [Texas won, 38-37.] We had the week of the Rose Bowl, so we knew what to expect. We stayed at the same hotel as we did the year before when we were playing Michigan, for USC. We practiced at the same practice fields. So the guys really had the routine down.
A hotel snafu led Brown’s team to leave its hotel the night before the USC game and spend the night in Burbank. But the Horns still did get a good night of sleep.
3. Leinart was the reigning Heisman winner, but Young awed him.
Leinart:
As quarterbacks, it’s a small fraternity, so you just respect the game. You respect other players at your position, and I was just so enamored with the way Vince played.
He was athletic. He was obviously really one of a kind. Mike Vick was kind of the quarterback that really came onto the scene as an athlete and a runner, but Vince was 6’5, 245 pounds, and ran kind of like that. He was the first of his breed, and it was really incredible to watch, and then obviously, we felt that in that game.
Holly Rowe, who worked the game as a sideline reporter at ABC, recalls that as Young was going onto the field for his first offensive possession, he “winks with this big grin and smile like, ‘I got this.’”
Young’s final line was 30 of 40 for 267 yards passing, with 19 carries for 200 yards and three touchdowns. Leinart was 29 of 40 for 365 yards, a touchdown, and an interception.
The two had spent a Heisman Trophy weekend together just before the Rose Bowl. They’d later do an ESPYs bit together.
Leinart:
We were just a lot of places together post-college and really got to be friends, and we’ve remained friends for the last 10, 12 years. We see each other every once in a while. We sat down a couple weeks ago and did a little feature for this game coming up this weekend. But any time I see him, man, it’s just like old buddies talking shop.
4. There’s one potential tipping point that bugs Leinart most.
A few stand out: Young’s winning run with 19 seconds left, the Texas fourth-down stop that preceded it, and Bush’s fumble on an attempted lateral in the second quarter while USC was driving.
This one haunts Leinart:
USC led, 7-0, and threatened to go up more in the first quarter. Leinart got stacked up on a QB sneak on a fourth-and-1, with the Trojans well inside field goal range.
Leinart:
In that type of game, every possession matters, especially the way the second half was going, because it was just score, then they score, we score.
And that was a possession that we got no points on, and people kind of forget about that, but that was some play that always sticks out in my mind, that I just felt like I should’ve called time out. Even when I didn’t get it, I remember coming off the field just thinking, ‘God, we should’ve called time out.’ The coaches could’ve called time out, but I really felt like that was my job to do.
This was in the first quarter, not the third. But memories can blur when you’re playing in a game with about 73 memorable moments. Leinart didn’t have a lane, and Bush had motioned out of the backfield. That meant Bush wasn’t able to push Leinart over the line, as he famously did earlier that season at Notre Dame:
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5. With about two minutes left, Leinart realized USC had a problem.
That’s when Texas stopped Trojans running back LenDale White on a fourth down, giving the ball to Young, down five.
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Leinart:
You know, I think when they stopped us on that fourth down, when we were up. I think we were up four or five points. That’s when Vince had gone down and drove, and we really drove on them all game, and really the second half, and we were driving again, and we went for it on fourth down, and they stopped us with — what was it? — like two minutes left or something.
That’s when I don’t wanna say doubt crept in, but I was like, ‘This is when Vince is at his best,’ and we’ve seen it before. We saw it in the Rose Bowl the year before. You just kind of felt like whoever had the ball last was gonna win. And we got the ball back with like 20 seconds, but that’s when ...
Our defense played well, they had turnovers, but Vince was a dominant, dominant player, and he just made that play. You just had a feeling he was gonna run and do something special.
USC did have a problem. Young drove 56 yards to win.
6. This was The Vince Young Game, but Brown wants you to know it was more than that.
Young finished with 467 total yards, a Rose Bowl record at the time. He was dominant on the ground and through the air, and his touchdown was iconic. Brown says it’s as special a night as Young ever had, but it doesn’t tell the whole story of UT’s night.
Brown:
We saw it a lot, and there were great players around him. That’s the other thing. Vince got so much credit in the Michigan game and that game, and he should’ve.
But you don’t have those performances unless you’ve got a great offensive line. He’s got Jamaal Charles that’s still playing, Selvin Young that played six games with the Denver Broncos. Four of those offensive linemen played a long time in the NFL. David Thomas, the tight end, played in two Super Bowls. That defense, I think just about everybody on the defense played in the NFL.
So it was a great team that was just led by Vince Young.”
7. In defeat, USC was as gracious as any team could’ve been.
Some of that’s evident almost 12 years later, when Leinart’s asked if he still thinks about any of the iffy calls that went against USC that night. Specifically, there’s this moment, which led to Texas’ first touchdown, but shouldn’t have: a Vince Young option pitch to Selvin Young, which came after Vince’s knee was clearly down:
There’s also The Reggie Bush Lateral, a pitch gone awry at the end of a long catch-and-run that led to a Texas fumble recovery in the second quarter. There’s some question as to whether Bush’s pitch wasn’t actually a forward pass.
Where he pitched it:
And where it wound up hitting a teammate:
But if any USC fans are angry about the officiating that night, they’re thinking differently than their QB.
Leinart:
Look, football is a funny sport. The ball can bounce your way one game. It doesn’t bounce your way the other game. Refs miss calls all the time. They get calls right. You can’t make excuses. Obviously, Vince’s knee was down, a hundred percent. We all know it. They know it. It doesn’t matter. It was a missed call. I’m sure we had some calls go in our favor. It is what it is. You can’t dwell on those plays.
There were a ton of great plays that were made that game from both teams. People say, ‘Why did Reggie lateral?’ I don’t even think he knows. He was a competitor trying to make a play in the heat of the moment, and it just happened. There’s not really an answer for everything sometimes, and nobody should be to blame. It was a great game from start to finish, and they just made one more play than we did.
The best evidence of USC’s grace in defeat is this note from Brown:
There was so much chaos on the field. I was trying to find Pete Carroll, and to his credit, he stayed out there, found me, and he said, ‘You never wanna lose any game, especially a national championship, but we lost to a true champion tonight in Texas. You’ve got a great team. Congratulations,’ which I thought was very classy.
For a sense of how wild the scene was on the field, ABC’s Rowe:
It got crazy it got hectic and it got really hectic. We were all mixed up. You kinda rush out there and all these people were kinda rushing out onto the field and I had had the Texas sideline the whole time and Matt Leinart was right by me and I had said to the producer, ‘Do you want me to get Matt? He’s right here.’ And he was gracious enough in that defeat to stop and give an interview with me. It was just really sweet of him and he could not have been a better sport and more gracious about that.
Brown:
When we got in the dressing room and I was getting ready to address the team, someone said, 'There’s two guys at the door that wanna see ya.’ And I went to the door and it was Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. Both of them were saying, ‘Coach, we didn’t see ya on the field, and we wanted to congratulate you, ‘cause your team played great, and you’ve got a great team, and we didn’t wanna leave this stadium tonight without running you down.’ And I thought that was really, really classy.
8. The night ended with Darrell Royal’s wife, Edith, on a ladder with tape.
The legendary Texas coach and his wife were at the game. After Texas won, Brown wanted Royal to join him onstage at midfield. His predecessor declined; Brown says Royal passed on a note that said, “This is your time, boy. You enjoy this. Not my time.”
Brown:
And then as we’re leaving the field, Missy, who’s probably in her 80s, there’s an equipment truck that had three national championships from Texas written on it, and she was on the ladder, in her 80s, putting a four over the three.
9. The entire game was soundtracked by a legend making his last call.
Keith Jackson called a lot of great games. SB Nation also spoke to three of his colleagues about how this game was some of his best work.
Leinart:
Keith Jackson, a legend obviously. He called the Rose Bowl Game a couple years before. He’s one of the best to ever do it, and I think when you’re 21, 20 years old, you don’t realize until — I’m 34 now — and I sit back, I’m like, ‘Yeah, to be a part of that game.’ Keith Jackson’s calling the game, and the people who are at the game, the people who watch the game, you really take it in as you get older.
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