#I’m just insane about these two rn and I Cannot stop drawing them

[lesbian-jack-barnabas]

but strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you

+ closeups

regular coloring under the cut

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

hello friends it’s going incurably critically insane o’clock ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

THE FULL INTRO IS BACK OH WE LOVEEEEEE TO SEE IT

…Laia Costa is SO early in the cast credits WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN

moiraine and lanfear………. powerful homoeroticism I really enjoyed it. I realise that this is not a very original statement but it’s the only one I have sufficient brainpower for rn

THE IMPLICIT POLY AOL VIBES IM GOING TO EAT MY ENTIRE ARM

THE BRAID???? HOLY FUCK RENNA NEEDS TO SUFFER TIMES ONE BILLION

GODDDDDDDD ISHAMAEL SETTING UP MAT TO KILL RAND IS SENDING ME FULLY AROUND THE TWIST

ohhhhh I knew it was coming but “you have always been my better” still made me literally cry 😭😭😭

ANSBCNSNSNDNFNFNGN THEY REALLY SAID WE ARE GOING TO HEIST THE HORN OF VALERE AND WE ARE GOING TO DO IT ENTIRELY OFFSCREEN. like okay I don’t like it but if we can’t have 10 episodes I do have to respect the sheer audacity of that Narrative Choice. though also: WHOMST was the lady from Cairhien. and of even greater importance: was she played by Laia Costa???????

(I assume it was ~Selene~ but like. we are in Laia Costa tunnel vision modus fuckin operandi)

oh Loial my BELOVED 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

wait whatttttt no turok duel OR darkfriend reveal for Ingtar?????? bro we are speedrunning this city

“they were best friends” listen we know two out of the three were fucking so if we’re describing all three in the same way I will not be held responsible for the conclusions I draw tyvm

SIX OF THEM

SIX OF THEM

HEL FUCKING LO

ITS TIME FOR MORE FORSAKEN BABEYYYYY GOD I CANNOT WAITTTTTTTT TO SEE THE REST OF MY EVIL BLORBOS

(admittedly I’m only far enough through the books to have encountered Graendal a grand total of once thus far and also I don’t actually give much of a fuck about Sammael yet but oooooooh my god when Asmodean and Moghedien show up it WILL be over for me bitches)

wait omfg is Lanfear staging this entire drama as a distraction so she can release all the remaining forsaken while ishy and rand are too busy fighting each other to stop her oh fuck meeeeee I’m gonna go in ZANE

THE PHYSICAL RUSH OF ADRENALINE I FELT SEEING MAT MAKE A BLADED QUARTERSTAFF OUT OF THE DAGGER WHILE THE S1 TWO RIVERS MUSIC PLAYED MY GODDDDDDDD

IM JUST CONSTANTLY SCREAMING NOW FR

MAT IN THE SAME LOCATION AS THE HORN… HRRRRRRRRR

no sign of rand for a hot second 👀

HOLY FUCK EGWENEEEEEEEEE

HE’S GOT SHIT HAIR BUT HE’S ALIVE AJSNCNSNSNDNFNDJDNFNFNDJNDNDN

MAT WITH THE HORN THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL

“…Two Rivers???” SPECTACULAR

NOOOOOOOOOO NONONONONO I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT THIS IS STILL THE ABSOLUTE WORST

OH GOD OhH FUCK I RECOGNISE THE START OF THAT SCORE IM ABOUT TO GO FUCKING FERAL

MAT LEADING THE CHARGE WITH THE MANETHEREN BATTLE CRY OOOOOOOOOH GOD THATS MY FUCKING BOYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I SPY BIRGITTE!!!!! AHHHHHHH SHEEEEEEEEEE

UNO!! FUCK YES

nynaeve saying that egwene needs elayne not her… oh my god are we getting a full main babies towertop avengers assemble moment im gonna fucking evaporate

ALSO WE HAVENT SEEN MOIRAINE IN A HOT SECOND………. HMMMMMMM!!

I KNEW WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN OOOOOOOH I FUCKING KNEW IT AND I AM STILL. LOSING MY MINDDDDDDD

THE CRADLING. THE CRADLING. THERE IS A TRULY EXCEPTIONAL LEVEL OF HOMOEROTICISM HAPPENING HERE ON EVERY LEVEL

EGWENE’S BATTLE MUSIC OH MY GOD MY GIRL YESSSSSS GO NUCLEAR MY LOVE

SCREAMING AT THIS AVENGERS ASSEMBLE COMBINATION FATED SOULMATES FIRST MEETING CROSSOVER EVENT BUT WHERE THE FUCK IS AVIENDHA GET MY GIRL IN HERE!!!!!!!

SHRIEKINGGGGGGGG AT THE (almost) ENTIRE CREW BEING RIGHT BEHIND RAND IN HIS BIG MOMENT

OH GOD OH MY GOD ITS HER SHES FUCKING HERE

AHSBCBFB OKAY I HAD IT BACKWARDS BUT FUCKING SCREAM???????? THATS HERRRRRR THATS MY CREEPY PATHETIC BABYGIRL HOLY SHITTTTTTTTT

“All five of them” uh huh. uh huh. uh huh. any- any of them in particular??? perchance??? huh moggy???

AND CLOSING WITH A NEW VARIANT ON MAT’S THEME OHHHHHHH AND IF I SOBBBBBBB

[valleynix]

I listened to all the audios AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

My brain is braining with so many ideas rn, anyways here is my input on them

reader/lunatic needs some therapy fr- CALL DANIELA

OMG I NEED A SCENE WHERE READER AND LUNATIC ARE ACTUALLY WORKING TOGETHER BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE INSANE- you thought one mutated bird was hard to beat HOW ABOUT TWO

OMGGGGG I love this song sm, and plus I also thought about readers beginning dynamic with this song, IT JUST FITS SO WELL

BACKSTABBER- I’m scared… I need this story to be canon rn, with full 4K 1080p 3d mocap animations

Chp 1-7 WAS A ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS (I love it so much), at first I was a bit confused but when I reread the story with context EVERYTHING WAS SO COOL AND MADE SENSE AND OMGGJSJDBAJBSKANSKSNS$:@/$;&/& I LOVE UR WRITINGGGGG!!!! man I’m about draw you scenarios just so you can edit them

THISSSS AUDIOOOOOOOOO NGL the distortion of the voice in the audio is what I imagine lunatic’s voice is like (not the voice itself just the distortion

Reader beating the shit out of Miranda for everything she did to them is not a want.. ITS A NEED

AAA my heart 😰😰😰 I’m imagining Daniela trying to bring reader back from a frenzy but reader is just trying to tell her to kill them so she can be safe 😭😭

Ethan: finally!! They’re down! Lunatic: Ethan:….. shit NAH BUT READER/LUNATIC IN RE8 WOULD BE INSANE, an elden ring boss healthbar appears at the bottom-

THIS WITH READER TRYING TO GO BACK IN TIME WHILE THINKING OF THE DIMITRESCUS BDJAJSJA I’m dying rn

Cassandra and reader dancing in the village…. CASSANDRA AND READER DANCING IN THE VILLAGE

Below the surface fits them so well I love that song so much

STOP IM GONNA CRY- Cassandra will never live that down if she killed them. Her first love killed by her hands 😭😭😭😭

Reader just raging in their memories trying to find a way to go back

IT DOES OKAY IT FITS THEM SO MUCH

okay I’m crying now AAAAAAAAAA Daniela would put new rocks she found in their grave (if they even have one), and tell them about the new flowers she planted while crying 😭😭😭😭

ANYWAYS KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK

IM SO SORRY, I ONLY JUST GOT BACK FROM WORK BUT HERE WE GO

now imagine Daniela just sits them both down and is like, "you two work on your problems or i'm not giving either of you rocks for a week" (their problems are solved in record speed)

i'm really thinking about writing that little AU thing where Reader/Lunatic are actually like working together to take an intruder down LMAO (there's a boss in Dark Souls 3 that reminds me of them but i cannot remember the name:( )

THIS SONG IS LITERALLY SO GOOD, i so desperately want to edit them SO BAD to this song but they are only canon in my mind :'(

the way you read my mind... i would literally beg capcom to help me make some mocap animations just to make edits of them SKDJFHSDJKFHS

SKDJFHSKJF THAT WAS MY INTENTION!!! literally when i started out writing TPtM, i was trying to confuse you all but have it make sense if you were to go back and reread, AND IM SO GLAD I ACHEIVED THAT PLEASE (also i will literally fall in love with you if you draw scenarios oh my god-)

this distortion is what they're supposed to sound like!! like Reader's voice mixed with something a little more sinister, almost like the second voice is just slightly delayed

LISTEN SHE WILL GET WHATS COMING TO HER I PROMISE, i love my lil bioterrorist but she has gone way too far 😭

THATS EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINED IT, like she's just trying so hard to convince them how much she adores them and how she can help them, and Reader is just warning her to stay away or that they're a lost cause, that she should just take them out while she still can... :(

no because imagine Reader is just all bloody and on the floor, gasping for air, multiple bullet wounds in their body, and they're just kind of crawling back into the shadows. Ethan goes to finish the battle, only to see... multiple eyes amongst the shadows?? and why the fuck is there a darker than black shadow he can barely see??? and then that's when Lunatic probably steps over their body to protect them and goes absolutely apeshit

(also, Ethan would've never made it out alive if these two were in RE8 LMAO, like he could probably try reasoning with Reader, but the second he even thought of harming the Dimitrescus, he'd be taken out)

HEHEHE, i did have a much angstier thought for it but honestly them trying to go back through their memories works too-

PLEASEEEE MY HEART CANT TAKE IT, I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT THIS COULD FIT CASS/READER DANCING IN THE VILLAGE BUT NOW THAT IM IMAGINING IT??? OH MY GOD

below the surface is literally so good please, every time i hear it, i think of them

SHE WOULD NEVER FORGIVE HERSELF- she'd just be looking at the older sketches she's done of them, and eventually, there would come a time she can no longer draw them simply from memory, and it would probably be the only instance she breaks down ugly sobbing

FALL FAIR SUITE IS SUCH A GOOD RAGE SONG LOWKEY, like it really doesn't sound like one but my god-

IM SO GLAD YALL AGREE LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT

YALL HAVE GOT TO STOP MAKING ME CRY, THATS SUPPOSED TO BE MY JOB >:'( she'd literally be trying so hard to keep a smile on her face while tears are streaming down her cheeks, and she'd just talk to their grave (or wherever it was decided their "grave" would be, body or not) as if they were simply sitting next to her :(

OKAY IM GONNA GO LISTEN TO THE OTHER AUDIOS Y'ALL SENT IN, JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU AND GETTING ASKS ABOUT OTHER AUDIOS MADE ME ALMOST CRY <33333

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

ok bhah ch11 my longest yeah boi ever

i’m literally... so excited I can’t even read it ok ok

oh no not the wedding invitations not this

i swear to god if we have to go through this wedding. knifeemoji

listen I have a fear that we’re gonna get the break up and the car accident same as canon dear god don’t put us through that either

no fears *literally everything that could make bhah more painful* several fears dot meme

god not the jamie invite. she cant even do it. another sign from god you are choosing to ignore

straight to Jamie’s house oh

lmao the red door I just worked out that’s a hill house reference from when I was wondering in like ch3(?) lol the inner workings of my dumbass brain never stop

“can we talk?” it’s happening what is happening

Dani was so tired of lying oh my god

my heart is literally beating so fast

alone in Jamie’s room bro wtf wtf

Jamie is just so soft and understanding always always aaaahhhhh

fuck she just wants out of this wedding so bad but she can’t even tell him

AAAHHH SHE KISSED HER OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING

fuck fgkjhdfkjgh this is not good oh no. Dani finally finally fucking doing something for herself and Jamie so aware that this cannot be happening like this right now

and yet both of them just falling into it anyway oh my goddddd

jesus christ jesus christ “Dani had half crawled into Jamie’s lap, kissing her with a fierce and fervent heat” I am on deaths door

god they’ve both wanted this for so so so so long I can’t believeeeeee

(i am so thrilled that y’all just went there right away btw)

“Please, just - I just want to feel how I’m supposed to.” oucchhhh Dani

god her just... knowing. after one kiss w Jamie that she can finally do it and talk to him and end it and it’s so terrifying but goddd yes

“You think I can ever say no to you?” oof

“Ask,” Jamie breathed. “Ask me.” fucking fuck the power of this line oh my god Jamie is so fucking ready to jump of a bridge for her it’s- the dedication the love the longing the everything I am going insane is it too early to start drinking at 1pm

you’re not you can’t NOT THE CANON DINER SCENE

fuck this is like watching a car crash i can’t look away it’s so fucking visceral and nerve-wracking and painful

but god I’m so proud of her for finally saying what she wants

oh thank fuck y’all didn’t take him out with a passing delivery truck

“You must have known. You know me.” oh god this sentiment always kills me

“She couldn’t say it — the words ‘I’m gay’ forever out of reach — so instead she said, “I can’t.”” my whole body is on fire oh my god this is.... too fucking real

jesus christ the near miss w the truck are u trying to kill me (i actually kind of love that Dani will have to deal w her feelings w him face to face instead of having to bury it all in grief like in canon I am so excited to see how y’all handle that)

a fucking HOUR in the car dfkjghdfkjh the torture

oh honey. literally both of them suffering so much ouch

her favourite saucepan pls this is all so awful and sad but that make me laugh so much the poor confused little duck I am glad she has her comforts

god poor Dani

"Is she here to cook something?"  fgkjdhfkgjhfkjgdf

“No. I think you’re brave.” oh

“We’ll figure it out." listen listen I am undoubtedly losing my mind god this is soft

“She had spent so long being asked and not asking. Never asking. She never dared. To ask was to be known, to be made visible, words forging reality as surely as a smith’s hammer. And yet Jamie waited, letting Dani gather the courage herself.

"Can I -?" Dani said, "- stay?"” please fuck I am just so !!!!!!!! about Dani getting to know what she wants and having a fucking voice. just !!!!!!!!

“Jamie inviting her in” fucking just both of them finally getting some of that quiet courage w each other I am yelling so much

“Dani knew that it wasn't just her feeling this, that it had never just been her.” YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT BABEY

““But you do?” Dani asked. “Want to?”

Jamie’s answering laugh was brief and incredulous. “You have no idea.”” I AM: HOOTIN. AND: HOLLERIN

“I am here” hello? hello I am not coping I am on another plane of existence. DANI FINALLY FEELING SO PRESENT AND WHOLE IN THIS MOMENT

god they’re just holding each other i’m tearing up. Jamie is her home

Dani finally sleeping through the night ow my fucking heart

Mikey’s so chill about all of this sdkdhfdkj I love him

Jamie going out n buying her favourite jam... god the tenderness. love is stored in the strawberry jam and the hairdryer

hmmmmm her attraction to Jamie is so closely tied to a lot of really hard feelings this is gonna take a bit to work through huh???

aw Jamie going to Carson I am so happy she has her little band of gays to help her rn

I love that she can just kiss her now when she gets the urge like maybe chill out a lil just landing all these surprise kisses but like good for u girl. good for both of u

the warmth of the house hmmmmm I love that she’s found this esp because she is perpetually cold and Jamie is always warm but keeps it like that for the kid (and probably for Dani too) aaahhhh

cgjkdfhkjgh Dani is so thirsty poor Jamie trying to keep them in check. these moments are so fucking loaded holy shit

Dani Jamie and Mikey are the cuuutest lil family aw

god the tentativeness between them trying to figure this all out and the casual intimacy and just. all of it is so much and so beautiful to watch unfold

i love this little bubble inside Jamie’s house and Jamie kind of drawing the curtains around them both physically and metaphorically while she lets Dani figure things out and lets it settle between them

it’s all about the hands

oh my god Hannah instantly asking if she needs a place to stay she really is the best

soft little mornings with her Jamie like... once Dani finally defeats the ball of guilt in her chest there is so much goodness to look forward to and I am v glad she has that right now even as she is still struggling a bit. my girl needs all the sweetness in her life

also the idea of Jamie getting to wake up to sleeping Dani in her bed every morning after a lifetime of trying to repress her feelings... god

heh she’s already figuring out all the ways to push Jamie’s buttons god these two are going to have some fun w each other

this idea of learning the creaking floorboards of a new home is so... warm

Jamie leaving all the curtains drawn for her oh my heart keeping her safe keeping her safe

Nan would be so proud of ms Dani u know it’s true

awww Mikey comin home to keep her company

Mikey Dani time is always so sweet I love them

my god Dani n Jamie are so intense w each other and just so full of fucking desire... when those floodgates finally open will they even survive

oof Dani is dealing with soooo much ugh. Jamie always there with a gentle way to bring her back down to earth tho my hearrrtttt

“You’re allowed to be happy.” she is SHE IS ty Jamie Taylor voice of reason

a pinky promise to deal with everything together awwww

“why are you so good to me” “you know why” oh my goddddddd. that’s so soft that’s so gentle that’s so much love

Dani finding little bits in herself in media god i love this

Dani Mikey hours best hours

god Carson... sweet boy. And Judy sending over a whole bunch of food oof just. these quiet little reminders of their love for her. Dani’s about to go through a whole bunch more emotions huh?

fkjdfkjgfh Mikey going into protector mode when Carson is there pls i love hm

ohmy “our room” aaaaaaahhhhh

god Dani expecting him to be upset with her I am so fucking emotional. I relate far too much to Dani in canon and in this story and it’s just. painful as hell to see someone go through the things you know hurt the most holy shit

please Carson is so sweet and understanding and telling her he’s proud of her is making me cry so much I can barely see

this whole like.. uncomfortable but relief-filled kind of coming out between her and Carson is so so beautifully done I can’t stop fucking crying

“God, you two were agony to watch.”  fglkdfgkjdfhkjgh Carson a voice of the people

“You deserve to be happy.” - Carson and also me and also everyone reading this

god he is so wonderful!!!!!! this reminder that she’s not alone and everything will be ok!!!!!!! Carson I love you so much

the box being described as “the beating heart of their childhood“ god the imagery

Jamie so sweetly making room for her and welcoming her into a home I am emotional again the tears have really been unlocked now I’m gonna be a mess the whole rest of this chapter (i say as if I haven’t been already)

the really sweet way Jamie gets her to open up and trust her with the things that have been on her mind

and Dani doing the same for her god this gentle honest space between them makes my heart feel so full I am just so happy that they’ve got each other

“I want you to stay.” please (also now I’m thinking about AE putting Stay on her Jamie playlist jesus christ I am being tortured)

they get... to wake up.... in bed together. i’m so close to crying again when will this stop

i kind of love there hasn’t really been any like... just no more kissing u know but we still get this insane intimacy between them in a way that’s not them shying away from the way they want each other but so carefuly and sweetly and honestly coming towards each other

awww them always waking up all tangled is so cuuute (also Dani feeling so safe and comfy with her that her subconscious is like lets latch on she is good she is home)

lmao Dani having to mediate between these two dweebs and their playfights is so good

Jamie having her lil family surrounding her aww

(also i just noticed the rating change oh god)

sfkjfhdg Jamie looking at her hips all dark eyes and wanting we’ve all been there girl

“you can look” BOLD DANI MY BELOVED

god these two........ the grabbing her silver chain god @ google how to breathe properly??????

“Then show me.” oh my god

fkgjhdfkj so much electricity they shorted out the power

“this is just as nice” when they’re just hugging please they are so soft

i love that there’s just like... gentle soft banter between them in these quiet moments so much

“Dani, give him more homework.”  ghrfjkhjgkjgh

god the heated cheek kiss

this ‘game of chicken’ god they’re just.... really in it huh this is so fun

hmmm Dani going through the suitcases and sort of being able to bring some of herself/her past into this new place is so nice

heh this lil family and their snowfights are so cute

:( she can’t bring herself to eat Judy’s food

Jamie bringing her flowers oh soft

ugh they’re just so softly melting into being together it’s so sweeeeeeeet

“You’re lovely.” and the way Jamie just sinks into her with Dani’s fingers in her hair pleeease I am dying this is so warm

aaaahhhh they’re dancing soft soft soft

“gray eyes fluttered closed, as though the weight of Dani’s touch was too much to bear” god i am..... aaaahhhh

“a gentle calm settling within her. It had seemed that for all her life she had waited for the quiet of this” y’all this is so beautiful and lovely and wonderful and all the good things

ah that kiss. kinda feels like their first real kiss where they just get to be god I am so happy “a profound sense of finally” oh oh oh that’s such a pretty concept

god I love how much they just want each other that second kiss and them just all over each other is perfect and having to try and reel that in and being able to because they know it’s not going anywhere please it’s so so good

god Dani vs Desert Hearts I love this callback and the entirely different circumstances of her watching it again

dsjfhdkjfh oh no Dani losing her mind at Jamie touching her knee god these two have got the biggest storm coming

dfkdjhkgdjh god them like.... trying to take things slow but still letting things happen while having to be aware of Mikey is so funny but I kinda love it and how indicative it all is of them being so grown up and able to approach their relationship in such a mature way. as much as I wish they’d had their teenage love story I do like that it’s unfolding this way now.

“it struck Dani then that she couldn’t remember ever laughing while doing this.” aww

Mikey’s “oh gross” hahahaha poor kid

god this is so funny

“ferret kid” jamie why are u like this sfkjhdfkjf

oh lordt it seems we have reached the unabashedly horny phase good show ol’ chaps

god they’re still so soft tho this is so fun to read

i looove how flustered they both make each other w just their presence. it’s just so !!!!!!

lmao Dani knowing exactly what to do to drive Jamie insane is fdkgfdkjgh perfect amazing show stopping more neck kisses more teasing more barely restrained desire i love it

“the reckless rush of being in each other’s arms” AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

lmaooooo Mikey Jamie is going to lock you outside if u keep doing this

the fact it can just fade back to comfortable companionship too is like. ugh i love them together

“Yeah. You can touch me whenever you want.” oh jesus

“No more interruptions, no more waiting, no more holding back.” it’s happening god it’s happening everyone stay calm (also the slow build to this point has been so fucking perfect y’all are writerly geniuses)

lmao Dani is like please can we just get naked why do u want to watch a movie I am literally right here

oh she is not waiting anymore THAT’S MY GIRL GO GET EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER WANTED I LOVE YOU

“What do you want?” god the tension

aaaaahhhhh just. them being so out of their minds with want but still all nervous and wanting to check in but still just. wanting this so much god this is *chef’s kiss*

lmao Dani already having the hair pulling thing figured out is so good. poor Jamie lol is she even going to survive this

god the fact they’re both still fully clothed n still getting this fucked up just making out n grinding on each other I love this for them

mum just came in to tell me dinner is ready I AM ALREADY EATIN GOOD

lmao fuck I am just... so thrilled for Dani finally getting to experience this get ur whole world rocked baby u deserve this

thumb in her mouth i-

“my idiot” pls that’s so soft

“You have me.” i know this is like. horny but it’s also so romantic sfgkjhdfkjg

ayoooo Jamie’s tattoo excuse me while I lose my mind a lil bit

my god Dani is so impatient to get her naked I love her for it so much “I just want to feel you”... ma’am

Jamie being all nervous is so cute aw

god having this lil moment where they just call each other beautiful n get all cute about it while they’re fully naked n grinding on each other.... perfection

god I can’t stop thinking about every other mention of Dani having sex w Eddie and it just being like adequate or like her not letting him touch her and now LOOK AT MY BABY GO SHE’S REALLY HAVIN THE TIME OF HER LIFE LITERALLY BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO

I feel like I’m like cheering Jamie on rn sfjkghdfkj u guys need anything? some snacks? a condom?? ur doing great!!

Dani crying and thanking her like this is an acceptance speech love that for her

Jamie kissing all over her face aww

I can’t believe this whole chapter is them just getting to fall in love for real

“I want to taste you” i am blushing goddamn Jamie get it

oh my god the dream. she’s literally living out her dreams

“that same focused intensity that could make kingdoms fall” I love that Jamie is just as into getting Dani off as Dani is getting off lmao GOOD FOR THEM

Dani: desperately tryin to get Jamie off. Jamie: are u sure u want to tho??? miss ma’am let the girl touch u already she deserves it (but i do love that she’s always just like.... never wanting to make Dani do anything she doesn’t wholeheartedly want to)

“You sitting here on top of me like this is doing more for me than you can imagine.”  iconic jamie moment

Jamie literally just like.... ‘you can do whatever you want to figure this out’ is so sweet I love her capacity for just. giving herself over to Dani in every way (not just the horny ones) to let her forge her own path

“It was easy to understand now, the exhilaration of it, why people went crazy for it.” god I love this for her so much everything just falling into place

they’re so soft n comfy together and it’s all just so right and lovely

i love that once they’ve started they basically can’t stop honestly get it girls u deserve all the orgasms

“When did you know?” “Sixteen years.” oof my heart she’s known the whole time aaahhhh. all these lil memories god it really was all out of love I could cry. and Jamie admitting the scarf/scar thing whew she really carried around that moment on her face for the whole world to see (also lol at Dani being so fixated on it this whole time that’s so perfect)

heh they’re so cute with their lil teasing banter exchange

lol goddamn this so so spicy I am just dfklghfjkdjghkjdf (that is to say well fucking done I can’t even speak rn)

Jamie just being like you could literally just look at me and I am turned on I... love this whole situation for her so much

god they’re really just going all in Dani is getting like the.... lesbian sex speed run amen

oh god not Karen on the phone just hang up Dani do it do it

god she is so evil

omg she told her abt Jamie go off Dani I am v v proud of u right now

and she hung up on her godbless babe i LOVE your audacity

heh Jamie so transfixed by Dani’s lil purple sweater and skirt I love her

Dani u are such a tease sfkgjdfkg good 4 u tbh

awwww she got Dani’s desk for her oh my god that’s so lovely

Dani n Jamie being entirely not subtle over dinner w their lingering glances and Carson just laughing at them fkjghdkfjgh i love it. he’s so happy for them even w his teasing aw

aaahhh i just love Jamie giving her this space and this room in the house and Dani feeling so right in it

oooh an almost “I love you” god they’re just fuckin u-haulin in love perfection huh

and now we’re back to horny hours love this for them. gotta bless that desk somehow huh!?

i love the mentions of all this soft stuff about belonging when they’re about to rail each other it really rounds it out emotionally

“Get on your knees.” OH MY GOD THE JAMIE ON HER KNEES REDEMPTION MOMENT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

HELL YEAH IT IS this is truly what we all deserve

oh my god literally ripping her clothes off her fuck i love how desperate they are for each other and just how into this they both are always

dfgkjdfh jesus Dani are u ever going to be able to get work done at this desk again after Jamie does.... all of this to u on it

“Good girl.” the single most powerful sentence in the lesbian language

jesus christ this is still so incredibly steamy sdflkhskhg it never ends. and them like.... experiementing a bit w some different um. approaches? lol good 4 them good 4 them (and us)

my god them instantly getting all soft after about making each other happy please they’re so dang cute

ok love that we are also getting Dani on her knees it’s equality.gif

this little “I like you” “I like you too” confession right now is... so fucking soft and like... after everything they’ve gone through they still have the power to kinda knock each other off their feet w lil things like this huh?? sappy lil shits

oh no Judy I am scared

holy shit Dani “Didn't think you'd love me anymore” owwww my heart

god Judy is such a good mama I love her so much. reassuring her she’s still a part of the family my god I am so emo. she loves her so much

aw I love this lil shared bathroom scene after so many awkward moments w Dani and Eddie in their bathroom and so many mentions of her fogged reflection. things are finally clear and it’s wonderful!!

lol Jamie well if u didn’t want Dani to get all horny u shouldn’t have worn suspenders!!!!! it’s simple math!

god Dani has changed so much this chapter which only takes place over a couple of weeks right?!?!? after so much anxiety and being so unsure of herself this is so fucking beautiful to see

stop the car thing oh my godddd. she doesn’t even care about having her own cause she’s so happy w the person she’s sharing with I’m so overwhelmingly happy

“You’re perfect.” please I will cry this chapter was so perfect (also so are the memes I cackled so much)

[gerrymike]

does your mike crew have psychosis? i’m asking because of that one bit in the most recent chapter where gerry says that ophelia gets to go insane and mike immediately shuts that down

ROIGHT the short answer here is thats very likely the Diagnosis. The long answer is wait hold on two seconds while i cite my sources id like to be academic about this. Cut bc itsa long boy. cw refs to paranoia institutional gaslighting Spiral typical content etc

i think preface should be that mike in canon (and by extension satg) is pretty mired in the spiral yeah. twisting deceits want me fish fear me. And i’m very much not the ideal person rn to be fully unpacking themes and implications and whatnot wrt TMA and mental illness but i think it’s safe to say that spiral = pretty direct allegory

and while it draws on real world stigma/perceptions of psychosis i think it’s good to keep the fiction/reality distinction (i.e. fantastical evil entity out to get you and convince you you’re out of your mind VS actual hallucinations). obviously they cannot at all be divorced from each other because of how fiction/reality affect, intertwine, and represent each other, but personally with like what i write id hesitate to directly conflate the two especially in my position

HOWEVER! On the part of YOU the reader. Yes valid interpretation re: Mike. I think definitely with his hot entity commodity status how people around him (parents, other adults, healthcare professionals) perceive his panic regarding the lichtenberg would go that route. Much like other victims of the spiral

For one, awful moment, I found myself frozen in a tug-of-war with whatever was inside that door, clinging desperately to that rope as it stretched away and vanished into blackness. But I was six, and felt myself starting to lose my footing and fall towards it, so I did the only thing I could: I let go, and I watched my most treasured possession disappear forever as the door closed behind it, and I ran back to bed. I told my parents, of course, but they didn’t believe me. They just thought I’d lost it, and was making up wild stories to cover it up. The wall was the wall again, and the picture of the old sailing boat was back where it should have been.

Sims, J. (2019). “MAG146: Threshold”, in The Magnus Archives. https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/episode/146.html

mike’s parents in satg do try but with the nature of the Spiral down the road mike definitely feels the lasting effects of people not believing him. It’s part of what pushes him to be independent in his hunt for something to escape the lichtenberg (he’s tired of being told he’s mad, he’s tired of being told he’s NOT mad and a liar instead, he’s tired of talking to terrible adults, etc.)

When I was twelve, curled under my bed to escape the pounding of the rain against my window, the roll of thunder that just rattled my skull, I began to travel them once again. My hands ran down and along those jagged, discoloured lines, every branch, every turn, my nostrils full of ozone, my veins full of fear. And they didn’t stop. I knew where my scars ended, but… those I traced in the dark that night, they just went on and on and on, far beyond me and to somewhere that still flashed with that unspeakable white light. That was the night everything changed. Before it I was odd, certainly, probably traumatised, and gripped with a terror of storms, but after that night, things were different. I think, looking back, that was when I called it. That was when it caught my scent.

Sims, J. (2018). “MAG91: The Coming Storm”, in The Magnus Archives. https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/episode/091.html

and i think in his early teenhood when he’s still new to the evil lightning man thing. hes young and scared enough to go to his parents which leads to going in and out of facilities and talking to people who lets be real dont have his best interests at heart. and psychiatric/therapeutic malpractice leaves a mark on the psyche for sure; messes with one’s self perception and esteem to. A Degree. More on that in further chapters

Oh, other doctors did, did they? Mm. Well, that sounds reasonable, let me just have a look at your case file here, a gander at the old medical history. Medication, diagnosis, medication, oooh, hospitalisation. Hm. Trouble is it’s all lies, isn’t it? Because I’m your doctor now, Doctor David, and I say these people, these ‘professionals’, had no idea what they’re talking about because, well, I understand what they simply didn’t. You made it all up, didn’t you? What was it? A plea for attention, trying so desperately to make the world notice you?

Sims, J. (2020). “MAG177: Wonderland”, in The Magnus Archives. https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/episode/177.html

so. Combination being gaslit by professionals and constantly hounded by manifestation of madness. understandably one would be touchy about implications re: Ophelia even when theyre not targeted

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#5)

S3 e3: Trust Your Gut. From what I remember this is a big one. I just remember this episode title honestly but we’ll see what happens.

-look at that! ava’s just casually in this scene, minding her own business, doing her job! you would never guess that this is a character who would later have a psychotic break and commit suicide.

-that’s really the point i’m trying to make. I hate all those posts where they’re like ‘i hated ava before, but season 4 has finally shown her true colors’ like not even?? no??? we’re trying to prove that that was never even a thing. i want to eliminate the possibility of s4 happening from your minds. nothing from s3 should ever be used as foreshadowing. that’s what the rewrite is about, ava being a good character. ava was never going to commit suicide. she was never gonna go psychotic. that should be ingrained in everyone’s minds.

-anyways, back to the episode.

-connor takes everything like a personal attack. relax

- i never realized how fun stoll was. like obviously not in the story but as a character he’s hilarious. unattached by everyone else’s drama

-awww. this maggie interaction is amazing. tapping sarah on the shoulder (neck actually but whatever) just to say hi. adorable. and sarah is already super jumpy. come on. her anxiety is already setting in. they really gave sarah two huge storylines in the same season.

-maggie... no one else would ever slash sarah’s tires. i mean honestly

-WHY DOES CONNOR HAVE TO CONTROL OF EVERYTHING - honestly ava was just reading off the chart and he can’t even let her do that he has to take over just to say the same things.

-and the way ava just takes it with her smug smile

-she is such a strong character there is no reason she would have gone crazy over connor she literally needs nothing from him.he has not ever had anything that she needed. 

- SHE’S JUST ROLLING HER EYES, SMIRKING, AND SHAKING HER HEAD AT THIS INSECURE MAN ava I love you.

-okay there’s no way i can explain it but after rolling her eyes at connor Ava turns and looks at the patient and instantly her face changes and you can see such pure concern in her eyes?? s4 ava could never (can someone please rb with a picture of what i’m talking about? it’s uncanny and so so sincere.)

- she’s in control of her emotions. she cares so much for her patients so don’t even try to play that card. the only thing connor has done literally since she got here is get in her way.

-AND CONNOR LOOKS AT HER WITH SUCH DISTRUST AND CONTEMPT. TELL ME HOW. this is insane. exasperating.

-and the way she smiles and comforts the patient. i mean come on. she’s just so amazing. AND COMFORTING. if ava really was as heartless as people say, she wouldn’t take the effort to do that. connor didn’t even do that, he just scowls at ava.

-which just proves my point, ava is only ever mean to people who she thinks deserve it. and, the more that I think about it, she’s never really actually mean. sure, she’s blunt and rude, but never cutting. she’s nice to her patients (and I know what you’re going to say, it’s not because she has to be. she’s a doctor, she still wants to help people). but when her patients are dicks, she’s not nice to them. she’s as snarky with as she’s professionally allowed to be.

-like, take this guy. he seems nice enough. he’s funny, polite, comes across charming, so ava is nice and is polite back to him.

-let’s move on.

-why is connor always so suspicious of ava. come on. he’s the one who should be sus. she literally said ‘Don’t worry, Ray, we’ll take good care of you’ and he’s giving her this weird side eye.

-ethan and will being in this board meeting is really adorable to me. like, just, bros.

-oh godddd sarah please relax. sweetie. please.

-sarah fucking tranqed him oh my god

-oh my god noah asking people for help literally shut the fuck up

-straight people are gross. not to hate but how does anyone sit through manstead

-connor literally needs to chill. I know this bit (they’re arguing over menial things in surgery) plays more to them just picking on each other, pulling each other’s pigtails on the playground if you will (i didn’t like that analogy but I used it anyway), but if you look at it, ava was only trying to help connor (suggesting a wider possible target and an easier to handle stitch) and connor took it wayyy to personally. sure the second bit of advise is just poking at him, but she suggested a better spot on the base and he shut her down without any thought.

-and then latham points out that there is no point in arguing, to which ava defers, then connor snidely says ‘Thank you, Doctor, Now, how about from here on out we keep the background noise to a minimum’ and ava just shakes her head, scoffing.

-at this point ava just likes annoying connor because its fun. it’s entertaining. he gets so upset. everyone’s done that, just be annoying for fun (its bad to say but i mean come on everyones done it)

-another point, ava immediately deferring to latham might read to some as her being a suck up but that’s not what it is.

-ava really likes seeing how close to the line she can get. she goes right up to it, but she never crosses it. the same is true with her interactions with other people outside of surgery.

-I really like this story of the girl who passed out and hit her head, and her brother’s a wreck, and her parents obviously think the brother’s a disappointment. and it was finals week so of course she wasn’t taking care of herself. and the brother knew that, and you can tell he cares so much and feels so bad. it’s nice

-complication on the surgery they were working on. ava comes in with a solution (off of connor’s mistake during surgery after not following her advice) but I have a sneaking suspicion that by the end connor will be back on top

-the effort it took connor to say ‘it’s a good idea’ come on man just fucking let it go

-i’m glad we’ve all agreed that connor’s just a dick

-aw look at that she even held the door for him. connor would never

-i don’t want to overly push the ‘med is sexist’ thing but how is it that in a storyline between nat and ethan, characters who have never been romantically involved, they still pull the woman thinks one thing, man refuses to believe it and is right dynamic. i mean come on med seriously. what the fuck is wrong with you.

-the look of annoyance and disbelief on ava’s face that connor hadn’t actually messed up. comedic, but also i get your pain.

-glad that latham sides with ava, ava advocating for a riskier procedure so they could ensure the blockage is removed)

-(something could be said about ava’s high-risk, high-reward ideals. you could even draw the parallel to events in s4 and s5, even though I really don’t want to. it’s an interesting and notable character trait to say the least)

-YOOOO I FORGOT HOW METAL THE PSYCH STORY GETS

-dude straight up cuts his abdomen open and his intestines spill out

-the fear and shock and emotion on sarah’s face make me feel so bad for her

-WAIT IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE SHE LOSES THE END OF THE INSTRUMENT? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? i am not prepared to watch an ava bekker breakdown rn.

-the shock on ava’s face when connor said nice job.

-ava actually tried to apologize to connor. well, not apologize but she feels a little bit bad for just how abrasive she’s been to connor. (connor didn’t necessarily have to make it super competitive). Ava said “Look, I know i have the tendency to step on toes. it’s nothing personal”

-and now they’re not arguing and are this close to actually working like a team

-and i cannot believe connor’s big one-liner is ‘Murphy’s law’

-the emotion on april’s face when the girl’s parents won’t even let her brother grieve for her. I feel it. astounding. its so painful omg

-ava: “your optimism is enchanting.” when i was writing earlier I was worried I wasn’t being accurate with her dialogue and making it sound too overly formal but i guess I nailed it. also, this line reinforces how much I love her (so does every other line)

-connor just refusing to give ava anything, no credit, no nothing. doesn’t even give her credit for earning the surgery saying “you may have elbowed your way onto the case, but he is still my patient” (I JUST TRANSITIONED INTO A QUOTE SO SMOOTHLY WHY CANT I DO THAT IN MY LANG RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ESSAYS YOU’RE KIDDING)

-hey it’s joey!

- i can appreciate him so much more when he’s not chasing after reese

-do you remember their first meeting? bickering over who gets the last splenda? (real meet cute amirite)

-dr. charles remarking how all the scientific advances can’t beat human instinct, nice little tie in to the episode title

-ava just smiling while connor waits for her to apologize. she. takes. no. shit.

-i literally hate connor’s face so much. it fucking looks predatory like stop looking at her like that. it’s almost like you were planning her psychotic break

-ava’s cunning, saying ‘we’ instead of ‘i’ when talking about the decisions being made. she’s smart. she knows what to do. She knows how to present herself. (and yeah, a little hypocritical that she said to connor ‘when you fail, I will make sure that it is noted that it was your fault and not mine,’ but like I said, she just knows how to present herself)

-latham: “Dr. Bekker seems to enjoy this discordance.”

-rhodes’ face when changing his mind and saying ‘maybe I do’ when asked if he enjoyed it too - he literally makes the dumbest faces. please. stop. (is it a straight people thing?)

Alright. Another episode down. 17 to go. This was actually a pretty good episode all around. Ava took none of connor’s shit and you’d have to squint to find any sort of romantic subtext in their interactions, which is huge win in my book. reese’s storyline wasn’t too bad, she didn’t go through too much trauma, which, the bar for watching med is incredibly low i guess. This was a really good episode for ava. like I said before, very little romantic subtext, and she had a redeeming quality in the way she obviously cared for her patient at the beginning of the episode.

The main point is something I’ve been reiterating again and again. Ava cares about her patients. Ava is mean to connor because she knows someone needs to put him in his place, and she is glad that it is her.

All in all, this was a pretty good Ava episode. Very happy.

thanks for sticking with it.

-

read the rest here:

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra