#I’m just finally happy with her face omg took forever I was getting mad LOL

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR 

Ok y’all if you thought 18x05 was long, you in for a trip. Get ready for lots of caps, lots of not PG-13, and lots of overanalysis. I hope this lives up to the hype since it took me forever and a day (literally almost every minute of the 20 minutes of scenes took practically an hour to breakdown, I have a problem I know). Anyways, let’s get sweaty under the cut because the day ain’t young no more 👇🏼

Their bickering in the car but Nick smiling the whole time is a huge married vibe but also he’s so happy she’s alive and will take any shit she gives him vibe and I’m here for it. Pluuuuus Ellie avoiding nicks question about the phone call 😭 he’s so freaking concerned for her (he’s been through his own version of PTSD), his voice drops all the teasing and he actually opens up a little bit - really wants to make sure she’s ok. He needs to be there for her and ugh poor Ellie, those walls are going back up after that hug- a momentary lapse in her usual self. She’s so far outside of her comfort zone talking about feelings and weaknesses and she immediately deflects. Nick respecting that deflection is also huge growth for him, knows it’s not ok to push through like a person like him would normally do and force her hand. He knows she needs space but also clearly ready to be that ear to listen or shoulder to cry on whenever she needs it.

His joke about notable mustaches only to be the butt of the joke about using the word notable later is hiiiiiilarious. 

Her comment about Zillow 😂 um excuse me ellie you looking for houses and to settle down 👀 but then(!!) Nick pushes her down the stairs first when shots start, getting her out of harm’s way and putting himself in danger like he always does my heart 😩 like he’s still on the stairs by the time she’s in a cell “safe.” And side note damn they are good shots, oof. 

The toilet bowl scene is easily one of my favorites. Nick freaking out over Ellie moving hers and him not being able to had me DYING. Like legit cackling over his worry she’s suddenly way stronger than him 🤣🤣 and then he gets SO pissed they took their car hahaha like so mad he hugs the damn wall in frustration. But then he claims he’ll rip out the bars of the window (you know, to make up for not being able to move his toilet and still prove he’s macho) and Ellie’s comment about superhuman strength & his agreement LOL. His anxiety level of being trapped and more so Ellie being trapped is getting to him already. He is reaching for any possible way to get them (read: her) out of there safely it doesn’t matter that the plan sounds outrageous. Cue him moving back to pissed and breaking the toilet with his damn foot like 🥵 we get you strong Nick but no need to show off. Hot damn. His “I really think we’re stuck in here” after that IDK why but had be laughing again. I’m pretty sure I said “no shit Sherlock” at my TV watching live because thank you Captain Obvious. 

Aaaaaand then when she pauses and finds the bomb bricks but goes so quiet oooooof he’s on high alert. You can practically hear his heart pounding and then he goes and starts panicking slightly when she doesn’t respond with our first use of a first name, “Ellie we have a wall between us, what is it?” But his tone is so frantic and his eyes are darting around putting the whole picture together and my heart aches for him. He’s starting to realize just how helpless he is to save her. The exact thing he likely swore he’d set out to never let happen again (Ellie in danger) after last episode, is happening again. And this time, it’s not like he can go hunt the guys down, he’s quite literally stuck. Helpless with no way out. Aaand here’s where Nick starts to lose his patience. Pissed at himself for not saving her before, not being able to save her now. Pissed at everything. He cannot comprehend how she is in this situation AGAIN and he can do nothing. But oh lord, he doesn’t even realize it’s about to get worse...

Him brooding over this crappy situation in a corner and being the cautious one is so unlike him (but also so telling as to how unnerved he is by her being in danger once again and not wanting to do anything to make it worse) and Ellie calls him on being “so careful, cowboy” and hot damn again she really does like a man in uniform doesn’t she??? 👀🔥 and she not picky on the type of uniform either 😏 but Nick immediately deflects because he’s not *quite* ready to talk feelings so let’s get down to business about counting bullets BUT the second Ellie starts to worry again he goes into hyperdrive protective and caring boyfriend partner. Without hesitation he tells her they’re going to figure it out because goddamnit he HAS to figure this out for her. He can’t fail, again. And he’s so so SO worried about her & her mental health right now and I sincerely love it. I know Ellie doesn’t want to have that conversation but I stan (I can’t believe I’m using that word, I’m not hip enough for that word) an empathetic boyfriend who supports their significant other when facing mental health issues (like PTSD in Ellie’s case) ❤️❤️❤️ Nick breaks my heart, he wants to be there for her- wants to be the one she feels comfortable enough to open up to and he just gets so dejected when she rejects his probing again (but I don’t blame her, it’s *hard* to open up about these difficult topics), his body language slumped over the bars and tone is just so defeated even if he tries to snap back into his usual Torres self (newsflash it ain’t working bruv because she’s not totally wrong in calling you hovery). Yet naturally he gets annoyed because he JUST CARES ELLIE DAMMIT LET HIM CARE. Like you go through this entire list of him trying to protect you from everything that could go wrong because HE CARES. HE WAS TERRIFIED HE LOST YOU ELLIE. HE TRULY THOUGHT HE’D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. NEVER TOUCH YOU AGAIN. NEVER TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU. HE CARES. AND HE CANT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU AGAIN. HE LITERALLY WANTS TO SAVE YOU (his own words because god damn this show plays with my emotions 😭😭) FROM ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE COULDN’T SAVE YOU FROM GETTING KIDNAPPED AND HAVING TO FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF A PLANE RIGGED TO BLOW. Ok done with yelling for now but man this part gets me. The implications are so important even over trivial stuff. He felt helpless and Nick Torres cannot do helpless, so he tries do to everything else in his power to keep her away from any danger no matter how little it seems. Even hot coffee is too much for his precious babe and while he knows she’s not some delicate, fragile flower- he knows she can hold her own (& has called her a badass as proof), his heart can’t possibly take another explosion on an airstrip. Even if that airstrip is something like a burnt tongue. Ok I die now 😩😩😩

But let’s come back to living because this bullshit Nick “I always tell you what’s going on with me...you ask I tell you” exCUSE ME. Is this the same man who claimed he was being overprotective and that Ellie was like a sister to him?!???!! Yeah, I call bullSHIT that you tell Ellie what’s going on with you. (And Ellie calls BS too, btw buddy). 

But when Ellie finally decides to open a little I love it. I think she finally understood at least just a bit that he just, simply cares about her & her well-being. So she gives him a tiny taste of what she’s going through. And god Nick’s face when he understands the gravity of what she’s having to face mentally. Like I know he knew but I don’t think he knew just how bad. And you can just see that hatred towards his perceived failure turning inward once again as the mood shifts in these cells to somber. Plus Ellies last comment here with them *needing* to find a way out of there- girrrrrrrl poor baby girl 😭 she’s struggling so hard right now and trying so hard to not let it show and not let it get to her but you know she’s terrified. You know she’s desperately triggered. UGH Ellie 💔💔

We cut to Ellie desperately trying to figure out a solution to getting the fuck outta there and once again my heart aches for her triggered self. Nick seems desolate and frustrated, shutting down slowly as it seems less and less likely they’ll get out. Buuuuut then the GUM. Ahahahahahah Ellieeeeeee how do you know about that last piece of gum for “breath emergencies”??? AHHHH this man’s jeans are so damn tight (& yes trust me I would know, I observe) but like also you staring at a spot on said tight jeans that’s only maybe five inches from a different outline 👀👀👀 GIRL I FEEL YOUUUU. GET. IT. Plus she knows exactly what he calls it and I freaking love that. His excuse for why he has to save it is also hilarious 🤣 his breath emergency later hmmm doubt you wanted to save it to MacGyver something Nick sooooo you got another thing in mind?? 😏 and then LMAO it’s mushy because his pants are sweaty I’m rolllllling. Your pants too tight Nick? (this is not humanly possible btw) ALSO is this why later Ellie says she expected Nick to be more sweaty??? If it is and now rewatching I kind of feel like it is, omg what a great callback on her part 🤣🤣

Nick trying to coach her on the proper way of opening the cell door is hilarious because bitch which one of you was able to move their toilet Nick 👀😂 but oh damn now it’s when shit goes downhill fast. 

Nick not being able to see anything and his frantic questioning is amazing compared to Ellies absolute panic realizing she is once again facing down a bomb. I feel like her calming breaths are a coping technique Jack has been helping her with but man kill me now, Nick’s face?? When he realizes what he thought was helplessness earlier has just shot yo exponentially??? Oof with a capital O. This poor man needs a damn drink and yet all he can have is a club soda boy I *feel you* on that (side note #letsgetthisbabyoutmybellyasap). His woman has gone and gotten herself into another bomb encounter for the second time in a week. And he CANT DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. Can you imagine the absolute inner (and outer, give it a sec) freak out he’s having?? He wants to save her from hot coffee for Christ’s sake and now he can’t save her from a rigged bomb. Talk about a shitty situation. 

I just love the Torres Teachable Moment little discussion. Like Nick’s smirk gets me. I really don’t think he knew she had a name for it or realized that she caught on to what he was doing (trying to help her grow as an agent without being obvious or “degrading”). And then we move on to comparing arm length and I crack up 😂 “my arms are longer than yours” and “no they’re disproportionately short for your body” HAHAHA like what the hell have you guys been doing to know this?? Do you stand *that* close together with your arms down to know their lengths comparatively and how much do you stare at Nick, Ellie? Daaaaaaamn. From his gum to his arms to his body I see you 👀 I’m not hating tho I would too 😏 I think what I loved most about this whole jail scene (aside the ending obvs) is the quick flipping back and  forth from joking & teasing to dead serious & worried. Like they’re both trying so hard to keep it above board and light- trying desperately not to think of the implications of what’s happening but then (usually Nick) those intrusive thoughts sneak through and he can’t help but redirect them back to serious. It shows their inner warrings with themselves and just how hard this is for both of them. How much they want to appear strong and unflappable but they both know deep down the whole situation is eating away at them. And Nick bringing up her standing on a bomb only moments before he tells her he’s going to shoot the wall- OOF. Ellie’s genuine terror for him injuring himself and her then not being able to do a damn thing about it because she’s standing on a FREAKING BOMB is so painful to watch. Like she’s stuttering she can’t get it out fast enough, she needs to stop him, she can’t fathom him getting hurt while she’s helpless (uh, hello there theme of the episode how have you been). Nick’s facial expressions through this scene are also so telling. He goes from “this isn’t a big deal” to “oh shit she’s panicking” to “holy shit is she going to open up, is she really talking about this” to “fuck it’s my fault she had to go through that and it’s tearing me up inside every second” to “hooooooly fuck is she about to say what I think she’s about to say?? Is she about to confirm what I know deep inside but am too afraid to say aloud?? Is it true??” And ELLIE OH ELLIE. Reliving that *has* to be hard, has to. To finally bring it up after she’s been dodging it all damn day...you know the thought of him getting seriously injured had her more than rattled. And she cracks open those cement walls around her heart so briefly, the glimpse in it provides I think a turning point for Nick. Finally seeing that it’s not just him, she’s in deep too. Even if she can’t say it, can’t say she was fighting to see him again 😩💔 he knows. She says he only has one bullet left and to save it and they’ll figure some other way with tears in her eyes my HEART. But Nick gets it. Nick gets it because he’s been in the exact same situation. His eyes as they process the implication of her words and the fear for his life running through them 🥺 his simple “ok” is so unlike his normal self, you just know he’s once again doing anything and everything he can for. Even if that means standing down and not fighting for his way (the natural instinct for him). He knows what she needs is reassurance he won’t accidentally shoot himself. So he does it 😭 But him pacing (as a man of action suddenly faced with forced inaction) & Ellie begging for an inventory over and over (a woman of logics and data faced with PTSD) is so painful. You can tell they’re both struggling and neither wants to admit it but also they both need to do something - for Nick that becomes finally deciding to shoot a foothold in the wall and for Ellie that meant trying to go over their facts again and again but suddenly she’s once again terrified Nick is going to injure himself. The one man she fought to see again might hurt or even kill himself and she can’t do a damn thing because she’s standing on a bomb for fuck’s sake. Aaaaaaand cue the blow up. Cue Nick voicing his worst fears of Ellie accidentally triggering the bomb. Cue Ellie getting defensive because she’s so damn used to be babied and treated like she can’t take care of herself. Cue the “overprotective hovery man crap” line that had me rolling on the floor (tbt ROFL). Cue Ellie calling herself a girl but Nick calling her a woman like DAMN get me where it hurts Nick- that right there is a man who respects the living hell out of this fiiiiiiine representation of a woman in front of him 🔥. Cue Ellie saying because I’m “me” like um FUCK YES IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE YOU AND HE’S TOO SCARED OF LOSING YOU ELLIE. Cue Nick finally losing his shit and getting reeeeeealllllllll like hallelujah do you hear the church bells?! Even Ellie knows to finally pause and listen. Nick never loses it on her, never. She knows this shift is serious and it’s happening. And omg his confession can I just have a moment of silence for the GROWTH.

Thank you, it needed commemorating. The same Nick who didn’t belong to a team is the Nick that is out here claiming he can’t sit idly by while the love of his life might get blown up again. He’s NOT OKAY WITH THAT AND NEITHER AM I. NOT AFTER THIS GODDAMN SCENE. His head bob accentuating just- how- important this is to him is so in character (thank you Wilmer) and theeeeeeen shoot me the way he has to fucking collect himself from almost crying. The emotion- there just aren’t words. Literally he has to look up to the sky and blink back those tears you know are threatening to fall at the thought of the woman who he still *technically* hasn’t told that he loves her could potentially die, again, for the second time in a week. So guess the hell what? He’s telling her (sort of). He’s telling her he would do anything, anything, put himself in danger’s way if it meant there was even the tiniest chance it would save her. Pardon the callback but- HE WOULD RISK HIS LIFE TO SAVE HERS. DON’T YOU REMEMBER ELLIE. YOU SAID I KNOW. DO YOU KNOW NOW. DO YOU. BECAUSE GOOD LORD CAN YOU MARRY THIS MAN ALREADY BEFORE I DIVORCE MY HUSBAND AND DO IT (jk love you honey 😘). But like damn, she knows it now. That look- she bites her lip and has tears in her own eyes at the realness she can feel even through a cement block wall. It’s a feeling she’s not used to. She isn’t used to being a person someone would literally risk death for. She doesn’t think she deserves it (sip on that like whiskey, mull it over, let it sink in & cry about it). Even if she knows she doesn’t need saving (and so does Nick), she finally realizes it isn’t about that. It isn’t about he feels like she can’t do it. It’s about the overwhelming pull that your life isn’t greater than the one you love. That love, real true love, is knowing you would do anything for that other person (and they the same) because the world would be worse off without them in it. And Nick will never be okay with a world without Ellie. Never. Their joint quiet after his confession is so powerful. There’s no claims of falsehood, there’s no trying to quip back at him, there’s no trying to stop him. It just settles into the room- into their hearts. They’ve crossed a line and it means so, so much. Nick can feel a weight lifted off his shoulders as he loads his gun and gets ready and Ellie can feel a weight settle on hers from the need to reciprocate. And not out of pity, it would be out of truth. But she knows it isn’t the right time. She knows she has to do it, and she will. She held back earlier when she couldn’t say she was fighting for Nick, but his outburst and confession gave her the courage in this scene. She finally has confirmation she means to him like he means to her. And she has to know, she has to know if he means it or if it was heat of the moment so when the dust settles she inquires, “what’s going on over there?” A pulse check. A way of asking without asking—did you mean that? And the shock of confirmation of her face as Nick, dead as a doornail serious says, “close calls make you live harder”….holy hell. That’s the moment it snaps for her, everything snaps into place—the agony he’s gone through not only this week, but the past couple years of close calls. He’s done beating around the bush, he’s living harder, he’s going all in, he’s getting what he wants. He refuses to let anything like a damn jail cell rigged to blow stand in his way. And she knows, she knows just how important she is to him. He might not have said those three words, but that phrase- that phrase was a direct window into Nick Torres’ soul. And by god I love it. 

But Nick pulling a prank on Ellie like that is also so Nick- the little shit. The genuine concern in her voice when she yells his name 😭 like dude, her worst fear, something causing ongoing trauma in her head right now is the ONE THING you decide to tease her with??? I should expect nothing less but damn that’s low 😂 her checking on his status update with Gibbs though feels like such a role reversal from earlier and it cracks me up, side note. 

When they’re getting ready to stand down the returning brother and Nick gets in position next to the wall but can’t even look ahead- he’s just staring at Ellie, oof. In that moment he’s brutally and painfully aware she can’t hide for cover. Not only can she not hide, he can’t cover her because he’s (locked in a cell but also) out of bullets. He’s once again near helpless and the woman he loves (and has now finally kind of told) is a sitting duck. Someone get this poor man a damn club soda, I repeat. 

And the little talk between the two parties- I love that Ellie takes point. Love that Nick lets her. Like damn that’s a supportive partner right there and I 👏🏼 AM 👏🏼 HERE 👏🏼 FOR 👏🏼 IT. He knows she can handle this shit and he will willingly let her. But nooooooowwwww weee gettinggggg to the goooooood paaaaaaart. 

Ok first, “good to see you” - this man has missed her face. Straight up dying to see her in the flesh. Just listening to her voice and not seeing the emotions written on her face is not enough. Seeing her alive, smiling at him, he needed it. But of course, let’s keep it light, act natural Nicholas. 

“I thought you’d be sweatier” - excUUUUSE ME ELLIE. Not only did you just call out his reference to his sweaty jeans earlier, you also WANT TO SEE HIM SWEATY DON’T YOU. THAT SMIRK SAYS YES DON’T LIE. And honestly, I don’t blame you shhhhh.

“The day is young” - can I get another excUUUUSE ME NICK. Words- they don’t- function. Because that knowing smile of hers- SHE’S OKAY WITH IT. GET YOUR MIND OUT THE GUTTER YOU TWO THERE’S A HOMICIDAL MAN UPSTAIRS. YOU’VE GOT TIME TO GET SWEATY TOGETHER TONIGHT YOU HEAR ME. THAT DAY IS YOUNG AND SO ARE YOU SO GET THOSE BRICKS AND THEN YOU CAN GET TO BANGING LATER. I just fucking can’t with their smirks. I can’t. This isn’t the normal banter, this is the fuck me banter and I’m okay with it. Because right after the I-wanna-get-in-your-sweaty-jeans banter we have Ellie putting her HAND ON HIS GD HIP AS HE PASSES ONLY TO MOVE UP TO BOTH SHOULDERS. AND THEEEEEEEN HOLY HELL SOMEONE LIGHT A MATCH BECAUSE THIS BITCH ABOUT TO EXPLODE FROM SEXUAL TENSION. Is it possible to rewatch this scene a thousand times in slo-mo and still not have watched it enough? Because that is me. That will always be me. How are they so in tandem, so in sync as they look up mere inches from each other- directly into the other’s eyes knowing exactly how serious this situation is and yet pausing to freaking gaze longingly (read: have eye sex) at each other. And I’m sorry Nick looks down at her lips like three times??? For a good while too?? Sir nothing you said required you to look there. nothing. And also there’s no way his hands aren’t on her I thiiiiiiink they’re on her upper arms (based on the last shot as he’s walking to get the bricks) but like hold her tight Nick please. Also while Ellie doesn’t look at his lips (in this scene) holy shit those are some come-hither eyes if I’ve ever seen them. “I’m sure” ABOUT YOU. SHE’S SURE ABOUT YOU NICK. SHE’S SURE SHE’S READY TO GET SWEATY WITH YOU NICK. Like literally, this girl had been leaning up against the cement wall for a looooong time before he has to pass her and now, NOW that Nick has to pass her- SHE STANDS UP TALL. TO GIVE HIM NO SPACE. WHILE SHE’S STANDING ON A BOMB. BITCH YOU WANTED IT. That was a damn power move Ellie and I am not mad about it. She so easily could have leaned back, given him a ton of space to get around, but nooooooo she stands right there, middle of the tight opening and says yes Nick come get 1mm from my face, touch me here, touch me there, touch me everywhere don’t care 👀 while you pass. I’m sure I’m okay with it because you’ve just eye fucked me and it’s exactly what I wanted. And I mean come oooooooon just the underlying emotion behind both of their words. Nick isn’t just asking if she won’t move her foot- it’s his way of asking if she’s ok and she looks SO much better, more relaxed now that he’s with her. The tense, anxiety-ridden Ellie that was asking for inventory or snapping about him being overprotective, is now at ease despite still standing on said bomb- all because Nick is right there with her and if that doesn’t make you 🥺😭 I don’t know what will. Like she can’t even take her eyes off of him even after rude brother interrupts this gold moment of theirs until Nick has already completely turned his head towards the dude. She’s just so relieved to see him standing there, so close to her, feeling his warmth underneath her hands again. 

Side note to prove my earlier point, when Nick casually reaches through to throw the bags of bricks through the door Ellie is leaning on the wall and THERE’S SO MUCH ROOM. HE COULD HAVE EASILY PASSED. 

Nick looks like he literally wants to murder the guy, enraged that he’s the one who put Ellie in this situation again. We would’ve seen swan!Nick if it wasn’t for Ellie choosing this moment to finally share her feelings. Because remember- she’d decided she was going to reciprocate but knew it wouldn’t come off the right way before. Now’s the time. Now when the immediate threat to their lives is gone (excluding bomb of course). Now when they’re alone, they’re together, and she can look him in the eye so he knows she’s serious. He can read the truth in her eyes rather than doubt her words said across a jail cell wall. 

“This isn’t about me, it’s about you” - well damn that got your attention didn’t it Nick??? So used to putting Ellie first, putting yourself second its weird to hear it come from someone else isn’t it? That someone is worried for your safety? That someone needs you living and breathing just as much as you need them doing the same? His eyes immediately change from Imma kill this man to did I just hear this woman right. 

“I’m not okay with you getting blown up either” - first off, the parallelism is what makes this absolute *chef’s kiss* because Nick has literally zero chance of being blown up if he runs after this dude. Shot? Yes. But blown up? No. Ellie has chosen these words precisely to call back to what Nick said earlier. To make sure he’s aware she understood the weight of his earlier confession and is making the same one. They are on equal footing- their feelings are not only reciprocated but just as strong as the other. She could’ve said anything else but choosing his exact words was so poignant in the moment. It’s like the difference between saying “I love you” & “I love you too” compared to “I love you” & “I really care about you.” And the way she says it with such confidence, she isn’t playing around, she didn’t even *have* to bring up their previous conversation, she’s got determination etched across her face with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She means this, and it’s dying to bust out of her. And so the shock to Nick’s system is quite frankly understandable. This is Ellie - someone who hours ago didn’t even want to tell him who she was trying to make a phone call to. Ellie who has walls the size of Mt. Everest erected around her heart. Ellie who could have brushed off his earlier comments said from the safety of a cement wall between them. But no. This Ellie is all-in, she’s ready to own up to her side. She’s ready to lay it on the line just like him. Equal footing. If Nick is ready to jump, then so is she. And he’s just so taken aback- glancing at her lips, blinking through the shock as he processes. Processes the weight of her words on their relationship. He knows he could laugh it off, make a joke about his superhuman strength not allowing him to get blown up, or he could man up and take them both forward. Ellie doesn’t even flinch under his stare, if anything she becomes more confident, more resolute in her words and her stance. Her eyes searching his for what his reaction will be and for a brief moment I swear there’s a tiny bit of worry, a tiny bit of unease that he wasn’t ready for her to repeat his words back to him. 

“Well, what are we gonna do about that?” Oh YOU HEARD. That smirrrrrrrrk Nicholas stop iiiiiit, Eleanor’s standing on a bomb you don’t need to light her on fire!! Because this is a challenge, a goddamn challenge. Staring straight into her soul saying, “oh you want me and I want you? How about we blow this popsicle stand and go get fucking sweaty ok? Because that’s what I want to do about that 👀🔥🔥🔥” and not only is the smirk sexy as hell but it’s also got this glint of elation. Like he could not be happier she said those words back to him. That he finally took Ziva’s advice, wasn’t a wuss and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT IT PAID OFF. But his words also tell of a little nervousness. And not necessarily in a bad way, more as in a leaving it to her way. Putting her in the driver’s seat of this relationship knowing it’s where she’ll feel most comfortable. Given all she’s been through, like all of it not just the past week, he knows that she needs to be in control of how fast they move. And once again his chivalry and thoughtfulness of her is just- I cry. He doesn’t just assault her with what they should do next, he leaves it for her to decide. For her to weigh in on how far and how fast she wants to take them. And by the little shy smile Ellie gives him- she knows what he means. She knows her words have hit their mark and that he respects her enough to let her lead the way. And now she has to make her decision, a decision we DON’T GET TO SEE BUT I’M NOT BITTER IT’S FINE. But a decision nonetheless. 

I honestly go two ways on this- the most obvious of hell yes they kissed right then and there and started *something* and then the bitter realistic one of they were probably interrupted by Gibbs (who was literally outside like right then based on timing) but also may have just continued to stare into each other’s eyes- still slightly taken aback by everything they just shared and what it means for them. Still unsure of how they “work” as people who *love* each other, not just partners. Having that reality sink in as they continue to face off and wait for a rescuer. That reality sinking in could lead to obviously very good things (that we better see on our screen or I will fucking riot) or a slight nervous closing-off. Like not quite closed off closed off, but a tiny retreat when the gravity of the day falls down on both of them. I don’t think either will believe they only said what they did because of the situation/moment they were in, but it’s still a lot to deal with after all is said and done. I sincerely hope they unpack this in the coming episodes and give us some direction of what happened after that jail cell scene. 

I love the Torres told McGee about what happened today and I’m so curious about how much detail he told him lol but I also love that McGee has now received genuinely good advice from Torres twice now (the one about the reunion and now this). Just goes to show you the brotherly bond they have ❤️ but also that the advice was the same advice he literally lived out that day. Close calls make you live harder, almost as an affirmation to himself (Nick about what happened), but as something he knew McGee needed to hear too- they all do. 

And then this bullpen scene - one, how far of a time jump is this and whyyyyyyy won’t they telllll meeeeee. They hate me. Two, Ellie coming over so close just to hand off a file that he doesn’t even look at 👀 three, THEIR SMIRKS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN. Because Nick is holding back the world’s biggest smile as Ellie gets close to him and Ellie is just all nonchalantly checking him out with a brief eye-sex scene. Like damn this fine man doesn’t want me to blow up and I don’t want him to blow up either 🔥 Now does this mean they absolutely got together and did the nasty after they got out of that cell? Of course not. We can only dream, and write fics. This ending scene is very reminiscent of what NCIS loves to do with their power of open-ended persuasion at the end of an ep, see On Fire for example. The ending music and comments combined with the shot of Gibbs leaving in the elevator is literally there to try and persuade you that he killed Xavier. In this ep, the ending music and voiceover combined with their looks at each other is there to try and persuade you they totally got it oooooon. Not to say they didn’t, but I don’t trust NCIS one damn bit. 

All in all, cannot *wait* to see where they take ellick the rest of the season. Emily hyped this ep and man, she did NOT disappoint. Let’s see that shift that is going to ripple for the rest of the season now like Wilmer promised 🤞🏼

Oh and my only side note because this was insanely insanely long and if you’re still reading I’m proud of you for hanging in there with me & my screams into the void, send me an ask screaming back it’s ok I’ll love you for it—waaaas the whole team poking fun at Torres for using the word notable was downright hilarious. That and Gibbs trying to do everything himself, I can’t. Comedic gold. I love. I would go from dying of laughter to intense emotions so fast in this ep I got whiplash and for that, I am thankful to Gina. She always delivers 🔥

[aomine-ryo]

Omg i got back into knb and im so happy to see someone still writing for the Fandom lol! Could I request GOM + Hanamiya with a gf or crush who loves to snowboard in winter and dive with sharks in the summer xoxo ppppplllllllllleeeeeeaseeee!!! I'll love you forever

Headcanons: GOM + Hanamiya with a girlfriend/crush that loves to snowboard in the winter and dive with sharks in the summer

Kuroko

Kuroko loved how adventurous and carefree you were

So you decided to get him to come snowboarding with you one winter

“But Y/N-kun, I don’t know how to snowboard,” he said to you when you suggested it

“It’s fine, I’ll teach you,” you assured him, thinking it’d be fun if you could get Kuroko to do this regularly with you

However, teaching him was harder than you thought

It didn’t take long for him to give up though

“I’m tired of eating snow, can I just watch you?”

You went to the place where you would usually snowboard, which was the highest point there

Now that Kuroko knew how difficult snowboarding was, he was quite worried looking at you all the way up there

When you started to snowboard though, Kuroko couldn’t help but stare up at you, wide-eyed

You made it look so easy that he was just filled with admiration as he thought of how cool his girlfriend was

In the summer, you told Kuroko that you wanted to go diving with sharks

“Excuse me but, what?”

You had never seen Kuroko that shocked before

You explained to him how you liked to do it at least once every summer, and you even invited him to join you

He politely declined, opting to just watch you instead

He was instinctively worried about you the entire time, but he also knew that you could handle it because you were one of the strongest people he knew

Kise

Your class was having a trip to a lodge, which you were excited about because you could spend the entire weekend snowboarding

Kise had a crush on you, but he never had the courage to ask you out, because he just didn’t know how. He was always used to people asking him out

He figured that he could just impress you that weekend by showing off his snowboarding skills (which he didn’t have, though it shouldn’t be too hard for Kise to learn it)

He thought that once he figured it out, he could offer to teach you and make a move on you then

However, when you got there, almost everyone was in awe about how well you snowboarded

Kise could hear the other guys in your class talk about how hot you were while you snowboarded, and he couldn’t help but get a bit jealous

It took him about three tries, but Kise got the hang of it

“Hey you’re really good. Mind if I join?” he asked you, to which you obviously agreed— you can’t say no to hanging out with Kise Ryouta

You and Kise spent the entire weekend snowboarding together and getting to know each other

Kise found you so cool that he completely chickened out of asking you out because he knew he couldn’t handle the rejection if you said no

In the summer, Kise decided to have a beach day with a few of his teammates, and he was thrilled to bump into you at the the beach

“Oh hey Y/N-cchi,” he said coolly, doing his best not to drool over how good you looked in your swimsuit, “what are you doing here?”

“I’m gonna dive with sharks. Wanna join?” you said to him cheerily

Kise did his best to contain his shock. Y/N’s such a badass, he thought to himself

In an attempt to have you find him cool, he agreed.

It goes without saying that he was terrified the entire time, but he did his best to put up a cool facade

His teammates watched him from the shore and they were practically dying of laughter at how scared he looked

However, after that horrifying experience, he realised that asking you out wasn’t nearly as scary, so he finally did once the two of you headed back

He was so over the moon when you agreed that he had enough adrenaline to go for a round two with the sharks

But he decided against it when he thought it through. That shit was far too terrifying for him and he had no idea how you did it

Midorima

You and Midorima were polar opposites

He was reserved, calm and rational while you were outspoken, erratic and spontaneous

But that’s what you loved about each other

When you suggested a beach day to him one summer, he easily said yes, thinking he could lay down and read a book under the sun

However, you had other plans. You were going to dive with sharks and you knew he’d say no to it if you said it as it was, so you hid it behind a forefront of a beach day

“I didn’t tell you this before,” you said when you got to the beach, “but we’re going to swim with sharks!”

His face of shock was the funniest thing you’d seen in a while and you couldn’t stop laughing. “Y/N, I’m not doing that.”

“Too bad, I already reserved it for two people.”

So you dragged your unwilling boyfriend along with you to swim with the sharks

He was so terrified the entire time that he went completely mute

When you got back from the beach, he was so mad at you that he was giving you the silent treatment

You made it up to him by giving him kisses and buying him a can of his favourite red bean soup

Midorima and you made it a habit to go up to a lodge every winter

He knew you loved to snowboard and he loved the peacefulness of the lodge

You’d get him to snowboard with you every once in a while, but he preferred to just watch you have fun while he indulged himself in a book

He loved how passionate you’d get about snowboarding and other hobbies, that it inspired him to try new things every now and then

Aomine

Aomine definitely thinks that it’s extremely hot how his s/o is so adventurous

The two of you went to school together, but he never really acknowledged you until Momoi ran into you at a resort she dragged him to because she wanted to try the desserts that were popular there

He was confused as to how he’d never noticed you in school because he found you quite cute while you talked to Momoi at the resort

“So, what are you doing here?” Momoi asked you

“Oh, I come here in the winter to snowboard,” you explained.

Damn that’s cool, Aomine thought

“You can probably see me snowboarding from that window over there,” you said to her as you pointed to a large window with a view of a tall snowy slope

Momoi made sure to get a seat close to the window so that she could see you, raving to Aomine about how cool you were, though he didn’t admit it

However, the second he spotted you snowboarding, he was speechless

Momoi was talking to him about the desserts, but he didn’t listen to a word she said because he was so fixated on you

You made all the other people snowboarding around you look so inferior and Aomine found himself falling for you

He asked you out on that very day and you’ve been dating ever since

You tried teaching him how to snowboard a few times, but he’d just get so frustrated when he couldn’t do it that he’d start yelling at the snowboard as if it were a living thing

If it wasn’t cool enough that you snowboarded, you also swam with sharks in the summer

You went to the beach with Aomine one day and he was so distracted by how hot you looked in your swimsuit that he didn’t realise that he agreed to go swimming with you

Next thing he knew, he was jumping into shark infested waters with you, doing his best not to shit himself and rather act tough in front of you

He was practically clinging onto you the entire time though, and you made sure to tease him about it for a long time after that

Murasakibara

You and Murasakibara mainly bonded over how much you liked food

He never understood how you enjoyed doing so many adventurous things, but he did his best to be supportive to your hobbies

He’d often tag along whenever you went snowboarding, though he’d never engage

You tried to get him to snowboard with you many times, but he’d just groan about how tiring it was

“Come on Atsushi, I’ll teach you.”

“I don’t want to, the snow is too cold,” he grumbled

“It’s snow— it’s supposed to be cold.”

He opted to just watch you from inside a café that had a view of the slope, while sipping on a mug of hot chocolate

He thought you were crazy when you told him that you were going to swim with sharks on one summer day

“Y/N-chin, are you trying to get killed?”

“It’s completely safe, don’t worry,” you assured him, though he didn’t believe you

He watched you from the safety of the boat, stress-eating his packet of chips as you swam around without a care in the world

He admired how carefree you were, though he’d never join you in your activities because it freaked him out more than you could ever imagine

Akashi

Akashi found your bold hobbies incredibly attractive

The way you were so playful and fearless was so exhilarating to him that he was hooked the moment he met you

So when the two of you started dating, he was very encouraging of your passions

When he found out that you liked to snowboard, he surprised you one day with a trip to a luxurious resort in the mountains, famous for its snowy slopes

He found snowboarding to be an interesting sport, so he decided to learn it so that he can experience it with you

He mastered it rather quickly and the two of you were able to enjoy the trip snowboarding together

You knew Akashi was open to trying many things, but when he agreed to go swimming with sharks with you in the summer, you were quite surprised

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this just because I am,” you told him as you walked along the beach with him

“Yeah, it sounds fun. I want to see why you enjoy this,” he confirmed, giving you a gentle smile

Akashi was a bit nervous at first, but he didn’t show it

He seemed to calm himself down when he saw how much you were enjoying yourself

He was glad he was dating someone that encouraged him to try new things that he would never imagine doing on his own accord

Hanamiya

Hanamiya thoroughly enjoys how daring you were

He was the one who introduced you to the world of diving with sharks and you were eternally grateful because you found it so fun

The two of you would often go swimming with sharks together, and everyone you knew thought that you guys were insane

He enjoyed scaring you by grabbing your foot underwater, which startled you every single time without fail

While Hanamiya was fearless when it came to sharks, he found snowboarding to be the pure opposite of enjoyable when you took him to the slopes one winter

You still tried your best to teach him though

After his fifth fall, he had a fit, yelling, “This is a bullshit sport!”

Your relationship with him was very easygoing so you didn’t hold back from laughing at his arrogance

“Stop laughing,” he whined as he brushed the snow off his pants

He was very comfortable throwing insults left and right, but the second he’s the butt of the joke he becomes an absolute baby

You comforted him with a kiss on the cheek, to which he scoffed and said, “Gross,” even though he very much enjoyed it, and you knew it too

He decided on just watching you snowboard from inside the resort, where it was nice and warm

As he watched you snowboard like a pro, he couldn’t help but think you were one of the coolest people in the world, though he’d never say it to your face

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

Hellooooo I saw that you write magi and I was wondering if you could write a nsfw scenario/oneshot for Hakuryuu and fem!reader? Maybeeeeee he gets jealous of her friendship with Kouha and gets a bit possessive? 👀

Oh anon, I love this omg, I love possessive hakuryuu!!

NSFW

I hope you like this!! This got away from me a little bit lol

>Admin 𝕋

｡o°✥✤✣ 　　 ✣✤✥°o｡

𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙚

Yet another meeting with the council to deal with stuff that he really didn’t care about. Really, these things were getting to him. They have no substance whatsoever, no real way to get him to where he wants.

And when the meetings go that way he needs to see one person and one person only. (y/n). Hakuryuu rescued her from a hostage situation in Kuo when he was traveling with a carravan. She was running toward them, trying to escape her captors.

When he did kill them, she was forever grateful and asked what she could possibly do to pay him. He looked to her, and immediately saw the pureness and kindness in her eyes, and that was when he knew he needed her around him. So that he didn’t have to feel that darkness inside himself all the time.

He walked down the sunlight hallway, reminiscing about her, causing him to slightly smile. She did her job well, making him laugh and smile like this. That is all he wanted from her, just her brightness. He walked faster now, a new vigor to find her.

But when he did, he didn’t expect to see her with him. Kouha, that little devil. He saw them sitting near the courtyard fountain, Kouha was giggling and bumping shoulders against (y/n). They seemed to be deep in conversation, both of them leaning in and whispering about something or the other, then laughing when finished.

Hakuryuu flexed his jaw, trying to relax his muscles. This wasn’t the first time he caught them talking, they seem to be good friends ever since Kouha met (y/n), and he was okay with that. She was happy to have new friends to hang out with. He was okay with that. But, why, right now, he felt like he was going to need to rip Kouha in two?

He furrowed his eyebrows together, clenching his hands into fists and started to march over to them, his strides long and purposeful. They stopped laughing when they saw Hakuryuu stop and stand in front of them, (y/n) giving him a wide smiled and Kouha smirking, as if he knew exactly what was going on. “Oh, Hakuryuu how nice of you to show your face. Tell me, how was the meeting?”

“None of your business.” he gritted out through his teeth. (y/n) tilted her head at his tone of voice.

“Haku, is there something wrong? You sound mad.” she said to him. He breathed in and blinked several times before shaking his head. Thinking better of it, he suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her to stand up, keeping her close to his body.

“There is something I need to talk you about actually,” he glanced to Kouha then back to her, “alone.” he whispered the last part, bowed to Kouha and departed from the courtyard, (y/n) in tow.

He headed straight to the his private quarters and harshly opened the door, practically throwing her inside, then close it behind him. “Haku, what the hell--”

“What are you doing with Kouha?” he interrupted. He felt an awful feeling beginning to fill in his chest, but he didn’t think anything of it. (y/n) looked at him, confused.

“What do you mean, we’re just friends--”

“Is that all?” he demanded. She scoffed, crossing her arms.

“Yes, Hakuryuu, that is all.” she said, her tone flat. He breathed hard, the feeling beginning to overwhelm him. Without thinking, he took strides to land in front of her, taking her shoulders into his hands and resting his face on her shoulders, unintentionally touching his lips to the juncture that connect neck and shoulder. He breathed in her scent, his eyes closing in comfort.

“Good.” he whispered to her. She shivered, her cheeks turning red. 

“What is this all about?” she asked, lifting his head from her shoulder and putting her hands on his cheeks. He tried to avoid eye contact, but she refused to let him cower.

“I thought you liked him better than me.” he muttered, embarrassed that his inferiority complex was showing. Especially to her. But, she laughed, shaking her head.

“Oh Haku, I could never like him more than you. I’m yours, forever and always.” she proclaimed. Hakuryuu’s eyes widened, his chest no longer filled with that disgusting feeling of possessiveness.

“Really?” he murmured, still shocked at what he heard. She smirked and bit her lip, nodding her head slightly.

Still in shock, Hakuryuu took his hands and put them on her cheeks like she was doing to him and pushed his lips onto hers. She didn’t move at first, too stunned to say or do something, but soon started to reciprocate, moving with him. He kissed her harder now, loving the feel of his lips against hers, but was losing breath fast and with one last peck, he moved away, just a little, to see her reaction.

What he saw made his lower body heat up, a fire beginning to ignite. Her eyes were blown into black spheres and her lips were plump and red from the kiss. She looked absolutely wrecked, because of just one kiss, and he knew they had to go further or he was going to absolutely lose it. Lifting her up by the waist and with a yelp from her, he guided them both to his bed, dropping her with a dull thud.

He quickly work of her clothes and then his, and soon they were both naked in front of each other. She was stunning to him, she always stunning, but right now, she was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes upon. He kissed her again and laid her against the bed, his tongue doing wonders to her lips.

In response, (y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, hoisting her hips up to rub her core against his length. She loved the little needy moan he made between kisses and rubbed harder, causing a rhythm of pure pleasure. 

Noticing the pattern she was making, Hakuryuu started bucking his hips and meeting her thrusts, his heart racing. They kept it going until she was soaking his cock with her juices and until he was about to go over the edge, so he abruptly stopped his movements and looked to (y/n).

She nodded and opened her legs wider for him, and watched as he slowly slid inside her heat with bated breath. It was painful, but she was happy they were finally connected; she always wanted to do this with him.

Once they were both comfortable, she gave him the OK and Hakuryuu started to slowly rock his hips back and forth, both of them groaning at the same time and the rising pleasure, and with each thrust Hakuryuu went fast, filling her deeper and deeper.

And with each thrust, (y/n) felt herself unwinding in the best way possible. She took hold of Hakuryuu’s hair and pulled him down, kissing him roughly and biting his lower lip. “Ren--I’m yours, okay?” she whispered to him and he whimpered.

“You’re mine (y/n), you’re mine.” he chanted, ramming himself into her now, causing her moans to become yelps of pleasure. “You’re mine--”

“I’m yours, yes, I am yours, forever--” she screamed in response, meeting his thrusts with her own. It went on like this until Hakuryuu suddenly took out his hot length and came all over her sweaty body, some of it hitting her chin. She panted, wiping the semen off her face and licking it off her fingers, smiling up at Hakuryuu.

“And you’re mine.”

[wonderlandleighleigh]

85 Thoughts while watching Return of the Jedi

1. THE HELMETS ARE DUMB

2. I still love the idea that Stormtroopers fucking loved Vader, and all of the commanders were terrified of him. 

3. Vader helmet so shiny.

4. Back on Tatooine. It always comes back to Tatooine, doesn’t it? 

5. 3P0 was so hoping that the door wouldn’t open. He just wanted to go home. 

6. Everyone in Jabba’s palace looks really...gross. I guess that fits, right? Jabba’s palace is super gross, so.

7. I never understood as a child the slavery - and the sex slavery - aspect of Jabba’s palace. Only as an adult have I fully understood just how fucked up this is.

8. Remember kids, Luke has NO IDEA that Anakin was a Hutt slave as a child. Is there any canon stuff where he finds out about that? I’d be interested. 

9. Han’s carbonite face is so fucking dumb. 

10. Man droid torture is no joke. If that’s what they do to droids, think about what they do to people...

11. Oh god, the musical number. Like I thought it was funny when I saw it for the first time when they did the re-releases, but also, it’s this weird dissonance between that and Oola’s death. 

12. Jabba is so much creepier here than in New Hope. 

13. I love all the disguises and subterfuge in the opening storyline. And I love that they took the time to deal with Jabba and the bounty on Han’s head. It’s a nice break from the Galactic War. 

14. I remember watching this for the first time, and when Leia pulls the helmet off and is like “Someone who loves you” I was like OMG! And my shipper heart grew ten times as large.

15. Han is so...moist. Here. Blugh.

16. Ugh. God. Poor Leia. They do a good job of illustrating just how fucking terrible Jabba is, but...god dammit. 

17. Han and Chewie reunion! <3 <3 <3 

18. Luke Skywalker - Jedi Knight. Somewhere Mace Windu is looking at all of Luke’s attachments and impulsive behaviors and dry heaving. 

19. THE BIKINI IS GROSS! The only thing good about it is that Leia will eventually strangle Jabba to death while wearing it. Otherwise? Ugh.

20. Luke Skywalker. Jedi Knight. Fashion icon.

21. I always felt bad for the Rancor’s master. He loved his Rancor. And the Rancor was just as much a slave as any of the people in Jabba’s palace. It was probably only fed when there was a person Jabba wanted to kill so it would be as vicious as possible.

22. This trio is so bad-ass. 

23. Luke knows what the Sarlacc is. 

24. BANTHA HERD! 

25. Ugh. The Dune Sea is really fake-looking here.

26. R2 as waiter makes me so happy. It’s so ridiculous. 

27. “Convenient.” 

28. Anakin Skywalker would be so fucking proud of his daughter strangling Jabba the Hutt to death. It’s everything he ever wanted to do to fucking slavemasters on Tatooine. 

29. “Boba Fett. Boba Fett. WHERE?!” 

30. Per Dettiot: Luke went to Obi-Wan’s old hut on Tatooine and found the handbook to make his lighsaber, as well as some kyber crystals. What else he was up to between Empire and Jedi, I’m not sure.

31. Knee. High. Chanel. Boots. 

32. The sheer utter chaos and destruction would make Anakin Skywalker kvell*. 

33. I don’t know if Yoda considers Luke his friend. More like just another snot-nosed apprentice who will eventually disappoint him. 

34. Leave us alone, Palpatine. What a fucking pruny piece of shit. 

35. Yoda’s death is so bitter-sweet for me. I love Yoda. But he made so many mistakes in his life that he never really owned up to. I suppose he felt that his exile was his penance. But I don’t know if I agree. He could have come out of hiding to aid the Rebellion. 

36. Also, he was planning to die without coming clean to Luke about Vader. And that is some horse shit.

37. “Suffer your father’s fate.” At least he’s admitting that Anakin wasn’t solely to blame. That there was manipulation there. 

38. “I can’t go on alone.” Go find Ahsoka and Ezra! You’re not alone!! 

39. The fact that Obi-Wan truly believed that that Anakin had died and Vader took his place. 

40. Yoda and Obi-Wan never moved on from their trauma. They keep reliving their trauma and so they cannot move forward, and so they keep making the same mistakes over and over. Asking Luke to kill Vader is proof of that. 

41. And it really shows that Obi-Wan, even after his attachments to Satine and Akakin and Ahsoka - does not understand family. Luke saying “I can’t kill my father,” and Obi-Wan being like “Whelp. There’s no other way so the Emperor wins.” 

42. There being no mention of Luke and Leia’s mother ANYWHERE except for the one moment later on, drives me CRAZY. Obi-Wan could have told Luke about Padme then.

43. I love that Han and Leia can sit next to each other in a meeting and not have to have arms wrapped around each other. Just being next to each other is enough.

44. GENERAL SOLO! Leia’s face. “Excuse you, how did you suddenly get hotter?” 

45. The painted backgrounds are so beautiful. 

46. Poncho game is strong in this movie. 

47. FLY CASUAL is such a stupid line. I love it.

48. Skywalker twin exasperation is the best. Padme would be proud. 

49. Leia just going for it is so so good. 

50. I know Ewoks catch a lot of shit for...well..being Ewoks. But I love them. They’re adorable! And they have no qualms about eating humans! 

51. “My Son.” I think this is the first time Vader has referred to Luke as his son to someone who isn’t Luke, instead of the “Son of Skywalker.” 

52.  Watch as we realize that Leia has been holding the one brain cell this entire time, and Han, Luke and Chewie get totally clueless. 

53. PROPER. 

54. I love Ewok tree houses. 

55. Remember kids. They were planning to eat Han, Luke and Chewie. 

56. Where the hell did that dress even come from that Leia is wearing??? They just had that lying around? 

57.  I guess they ate the last woman who wore it.

58. I love that 3P0 in New Hope, claims he’s not much of a storyteller, and then in the Jedi like is like a master storyteller lol. 

59. And here, we get the only mention of Padme. And it wasn’t even Padme. It was a handmaiden. I will forever be salty that Padme isn’t mentioned at all because George didn’t think of her until the prequels. Argh.

60. Luke’s unwavering belief in Anakin is so amazing. The sequels did that part of his character so dirty. This version of Luke would never have tried to kill his nephew. 

61. “It is too late for me.”  God dammit, Anakin. The thing is that if he goes with Luke, he is admitting that everything he has done for the last twenty years is all for nothing, and he just fucking can’t do it. So much denial .So much pain. Fuck you, Vaderkin.

62. EWOK ON A SPEEDER 

63. REX! A REX SIGHTING! YES! 

64. Y’all remember that Ewok movie with the blonde child? “Star cruiser crash!!” 

65. Padme would be so proud of Luke’s fashion.

66. Wedge got promoted! Yay! 

67. I love the old Hollywood trick of shadowing the Emperor’s face except for his eyes. 

68. I just. I love that the Empire is defeated by fucking teddy bears. I know a lot of people hate it, but it’s just- it feels so karmic.  They’ve done such terrible things. And to be taken down by these fuzzy, little bastards. *chef’s kiss* 

69. Palpatine hitting in that nerve that Luke has about his attachments. About his hope. Oof.

70. The entire Vader fight is just him trying not to see how much like Padme Luke is. That’s gotta hurt. 

71. Bro. Vader. You do not want to try shit with Leia. Like. No. Fuck’s sake. Don’t try it. She’ll have all of you arrested and then executed. 

72.  Yes Luke. Thow away that lightsaber. Show that wrinky fuck who’s boss. 

73. I love that Anakin gets to make the right choice here. He does what he didn’t do with Mace. He finally realizes all the lies...all the manipulation...that he can make things different. And he does. And it rightfully costs him his life.

74. Vader couldn’t survive. Vader would have been tried for his crimes and either executed or jailed for the rest of his life. The same thing happened to Ben Solo in the sequels. He had to die. Otherwise he’d have to have a real-world ending: Prison or execution.

75. I feel so sad that Anakin became this fucking horror show of a person. It didn’t have to be this way. Fuck. 

76. “Tell your sister...you were right.” 

77. Oh Han no. No no no. 

78. No Han.

79. HAN. 

80. Han’s face when he finds out Luke is Leia’s brother is hilarious. 

81. I wish that Rex and Ahsoka had been there when Luke burned Anakin’s body. I feel like they needed to, for their own closure. And Luke would have felt like he had people who understood. Who loved and knew Anakin before all of this. 

82. AND NOW WE PARTY! 

83. Let’s eat Stormtrooper! 

84. I am SO MAD that all of this will be undone by the sequel trilogy. Ugh.

85. I want them to refilm Hayden now that he’s just about the age Anakin would have been when he died as a Force ghost. I feel like that would be really nice. 

*Kvell -  Yiddish - to be bursting with pride 

[missjackil]

I'm glad you had fun at NJCON!! Did you get to talk to J2? 😍😍😍😍😍

Hi Nonnie! I did get to talk to them a very little bit but even that was GLORIOUS!! My first experience with Jared was awesome!! It was for photo ops and we (my daughter and I) were escorted to the area by Cliff! We waited in line for a little while and when we got in the photo room, we could see him. Our jaws dropped! He is SO much more beautiful in person than you've ever seen on screen or in photoshoots! The man literally glows! I had figured out a pose that would allow me to full-on hug him and still allow my kid in the pic, but I didn't think Id be able to speak so she was going to be the talker, but when I got up to him I said “Oh my GOD you’re freakin BEAUTIFUL!” and he smiled sweetly while chomping his gum lol... and I said “I need to hug you, and she (my kid) needs to pull me off you” and he took my hands and pulled me up, leaned over me and asked my kid “And are you mad?” she says “Oh yeah I'm pissed” he rubs her arm.. “ok got it” and pulls me into a hug.... omGGGG I buried my face in his chest (which is very soft and firm at the same time and smells like clean laundry and minty gum)

I got very emotional just feeling him.... this is not something Im gonna get over anytime soon! When they took the picture, he let go but rubbed both our backs and thanked us, then did the 2 handed “blow kissies” I somehow managed to get outside and cried LOL

The J2 panel was next, that was great.... we had time after to have dinner before autographs, which I thought I could handle, I mean I survived hugging the man, how hard can getting his autograph be? We had Jensen’s first, and hes just wow smokin hot sex on bow legs! Also a lot prettier in person sheeesh!! My goofy kid was almost speechless, she managed to get out “You’re pretty” LOL Jensen looked at her like really?? But then he smiled and said “Well thank yooouuu” in a southern drawl with his big ole lashes fluttering. I got up to him and I sai “MISTER Winchester!” and he looked at me like he was in trouble “Yeesss?” I said “You guys have been a very welcome part of my family for years now, and Im gonna hate to see you go” and he smiles “We’re not going anywhere. We’ll be around” and he winks... I said “well dont be gone too long” he says “I promise”. I left Jensen feeling hopeful and happy... he has such a positive air around him! 

Then we go wait for Jared, which took forever and a day because hes so chatty LOL we finally get called to get in line, Im still fine, but fine was fleeting when we got in the room, but I was holding it together.  He apologized for the wait and said he likes to talk to all of us, we pay good money to see him, and its the least he can do to give us some of his time... we were good if he wanted to just keep talking lol... so my daughter goes up and he smiles and says “Hey sweety how are you?” and shes all giddy, “Im great sir and you?” (hehehe) and he smiles “Im vundabah.... vunderbru vanderbuilt?” and I say “Wonder bra, you had i right the first time” and he full on laughed! all dimples and teeth and hair omg!! I made him laugh squeeeeee!! So I get up there and he looks at me “How are you sweetheart?” and I just took a breath and I said “You’re my favorite.... and I love you... and Im gonna miss you soooo much” and I start crying ... and he gets all sad looking “Aww sweety Im not going anywhere, Ill still be here okay?” and I nod but my head was down because I was blubbering at this point and he  put his head down too to meet my eyes and looks me dead on into my soul (I shit you not) and said “Ill be here okay? Okay babe?” and I said “ok” and he blew me a kiss.... I got outside the room and lost it... every tear I held back for a decade fell out of my face... my shoes were wet! I managed to get outside and sobbed for almost an hour....Ive never experienced anything like that in my life. These guys are truly Supernatural!! 

I will forever be in debt o @samisadeangirl for getting us there... give the gal some love!

[papistark]

Okay. I’ve allowed a night to let everything sink in. I’m ready to talk about Endgame now.

*cinemasins voice* spoilers!! (duh..)

so the wounds are still fresh. v v v v v v v v v fresh. but my thoughts during the entire movie were just OMG IM TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS HAPPENING SO I CAN REMEMBER IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE i inevitably go see this movie again

This is what the movie reduce me to like 99% of the time btw

now, I’m gonna try and break this up to be as organized as possible into 4 main sections which will be general thoughts, the highs, the lows, and closing thoughts. that may sound organized but I promise it won’t be and as always I’ll have to use bullet holes to even stay relatively "organized"

I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out that I either loved or would wanna discuss but tbh the ENTIRE FILM i was just like GOD I WANNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER!! Every scene that happened i was like god there's still 3 hours of stuff that's going to happen but I want to remember it all!!!

Overall

this movie was good. and i’m mad it was so good and i found it so enjoyable for how dirty they did me. The pacing was pretty well done for a first viewing, but I'm sure after a couple rewatches I'll get caught up on the occasional misstep in the pacing and general direction the story took, but I really liked it!!

I thought the Thor stuff was kinda distasteful and honestly a joke that ran too long. Like ha ha okay we get it but also? He went through so much fucking trauma can we just lay off him? Damn? I don't wanna linger too much on it bc honestly the more I think about it the more I get upset the russos did him dirty

all the callbacks??? made me so emotional????? eleven years and almost two dozen films guys holy fucking shit it felt like such a good homage to bring stuff back

Yo literally when they went up to busted ass thanos i leaned over to my bf and whispered "are they just gonna kill thanos in the first ten minutes is that allowed" and uh YEP! WOW

Also the opening scene being Clint's family getting dusted... gasps in my theater y'all they went in hard on us

TIME HEIST!!!!!! FUCK marvel knows how to take you on a fun journey!! The concept was so fun!!

I also appreciate them mixing up the plot a bunch to keep us guessing!! Like fuck, when Thanos was finding out through Nebula... future nebula talking to past gamora i was SO SOFT... sisters...

Hulk was... weird. It felt a weird kind of fanservicey for a little bit, and honestly a little out of place? But. Eh. Wasn't the worst part. Certain parts of it were fun! I think I got used to it haha

Everyone looked. So good. After the time jump. Damn. Thank you make up department for everyone's new looks. I live for silver fox tony always.

I loved seeing Loki again i know it was so little content BUT I DONT CARE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY FUCKING PRINCE

We didn't get as much Nebula and Tony content as I was hoping but god it was so cute and tender in the beginning. Imagine all that bonding. Nebula finding tony on the floor, knowing he's on the brink of death, and propping him up in the seat :'(((( tony helping fix nebula :(((( the father daughter relationship we deserved and didn't get to see come to fruition.

AMERICA'S ASS. THANK YOU SCOTT LANG.

All the New York flash back was so fucking fun. The elevator scene. Brilliant. I really thought they were gonna recreate but it was such a fun tease. Also cap making fun of his past self for saying "i could do this all day" I SCREAM why do the Russo's get steve so well

Carol taking a direct punch in the face from Thanos without even flinching? We stan a goddess

ALSO SHORT HAIRED CAROL YESSSS I LIVED!!!!! YES!!!! (But also that movie could've used like way more Carol thats just mY OPINION)

Also AGAIN, I DON'T CARE THAT IT WAS FAN SERVICE, STEVE WEILDING MJOLNIR WAS E V E R Y T H I N G. They have TEASED US since that one middle avengers movie we don't talk about that he was worthy and!!! Our!! Son!! Is!! Fucking!!! Worthy. And the scene of thor making him swap w/ him "you get the little one" i screamed bitch

also I was living for how much Steve swore in this film lol literally fuck joss Whedon's characterization we don't know her!

Valkyrie on a Pegasus thank you THANK YOU i was living

That entire final action scene..... holy fucking shit y'all. It was just crazy enough without being too crazy. I loved the callback to the original long continuous shot

THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SANG WITH THAT A-FORCE SCENE. YES. ALL THE MARVEL LADIES LINING UP. THEY ARE HERE AND THEY ARE THE STRONGEST OF US ALL. A-FORCE. FUCKING A-FORCE. Thank you Russo's for my LIFE

Carol's little "hi peter parker :)" god i love them. I love peter. My fucking spider son. I missed him so much. I missed Tom Holland's sweet peach little face AH I CRIED WHEN HE SHOWED BACK UP

Also last kind of ~general~ thought i know i don't get time travel at all and it is an instant way to confuse me in any franchise but wouldn't steve doing what he did fuck literally everything up idk we'll get to steve in a bit

Highs

morgan

H.

fucking

stark

I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT FED WITH SUCH GOOD TONY CONTENT THIS FILM ONLY FOR THEM TO STOMP ON MY HEART LMAOOO

DAD TONY BEING AS LOVING AND DOTING AND SWEET AND TENDER W/ HIS DAUGHTER AS WE ALL HAVE HEADCANONED HIM TO BE FOR YEARS!!!

TONY GETTING HIS JUSTIFICATION IN BEING MAD not just mad but PISSED at Cap for how everything fell out. catharsis. felt good scoob.

speaking of good tony content of course i need to just take a moment to YELL ABOUT STONY thank you russos for the fan service thank you for having tony ogle and comment on steve rogers’ ass it almost makes up for all the pain and suffering

btw do y’all think the H. for Morgan’s middle name stands for Harley because I LIKE TO THINK SO

also am i lowkey annoyed that like half of viewers won’t recognize an adult ty simpkin at tony’s funeral at the end even tho i know i shouldn't be because ot everyone is a die hard BUT half the articles im looking up for reviews and shit of that scene literally all the results are “SO WHO IS THAT KID AT THE END OF ENDGAME” YOU FUCKING FOOLS IT’S TONY’S FIRST BORN SON HARLEY KEENER FROM IRON MAN 3. FUCKS. im getting off topic anyway i was just happy they brought him back because I am an iron man 3 enthusiast and his relationship with tony was SO important and this confirms that at the very least tony kept in contact with him over all these years!!! and he wasn’t just some insignificant blip

Not to be stony on main but steve being the first person to hold Tony again once he was back on earth :)))) wrow.

Also the first thing tony telling him being "I lost the kid" WOW BREAK MY HEART MORE HUH!! WHY NOT!!

The first thing Peter doing when he saw Tony again :'') just rambling about everything that happened and tony just so happy to see him alive and hugging him so tight I'M NOT FINE!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE FINE AGAIN!!!

I appreciated the closure with Howard like?? A lot?? I'm the last person to be a Howard stark apologist, but I think his character and his relationship w/ Tony and how Tony viewed him as a father and as a man was so well crafted throughout the series??? Idk I liked that scene it was good to my baby.

And now a pOSSIBLY CONTROVERSIAL~~ opinion but..... I loved Steve's ending. I really did. I thought he got a beautiful and fitting ending and I was so happy. It meant so much especially to hear his reasonging being that in a way, he did it for Tony. He was inspired by what Tony told him. He saw Tony get his happy ending and for so many films now Steve has been searching for that and he missed an entire life. Tony helped him realize that. It just made me!! So emo!! Like Bucky's face when he knew Steve wasn't gonna be coming back. Steve's last convo w/ Sam. It was just amazing. I can't believe I'm seeing hot takes from people calling Steve selfish or blaming the fact that the Russos have a boner for Steggy or whatever. Who cares!!! Steve got his happy ending and it was well deserved and a wonderful arc!! Lay off him bc you ship him w/ Bucky or tony more damn!!!! (Idk about the timeline y'all dont come for me i really have no idea i think the Russos just said fuck it for that one even when talking about not fucking up the timeline)

Lows

Natasha deserved better. She did. I understand why they took her character arc the way that they did, and honestly, this is the first time I've felt we've seen Natasha have even a modicum of actual character traits since like, Iron man 2 and Avengers 1. She found purpose in keeping the family together and trying to help the people left living, while never stopping or losing contact with anyone else in their endeavors to fix what Thanos broke. As tired as I am of seeing a female character die for ~man pain~ this felt like so much more than that. In the end Nat wanted to sacrifice herself for the greater good, and that's what she did. I'm still fucking upset though, even though they've butchered her character across almost all the films she's been in

Thor being turned into an entire fucking joke. That's it. I got nothin left for the writers at this point.

So..... let's talk about Tony's death, shall we

"You can rest now" broke me. It truly did. I've never loved any fictional character across any medium as much as I have loved Tony Stark. But Pepper's line at the beginning "you'll sleep, but will you rest?" Is so fucking telling. I think I immediately knew for sure in that moment. Because she's right. And that's the worst part.

Peter :)))) finally :)))) calling :))))) tony :)))) by :)) his :)))) first :)) name :))) as he was dying :)))) asking him not to go the same way he told tony he didn't want to go when he was getting dusted GOD. AND WE THOUGHT THAT SCENE IN INFINITY WAR WAS ROUGH. HAD N O T H I N G ON THIS.

No offense but where was Rhodey when Tony was dying lmao ok

That funeral scene.... seeing everyone there drawn together..... god. It was beautiful. It really was.

Of course I'm not happy. I'm extremely fucking upset. I knew tony wielding the gauntlet would be coming, but I thought they would find a way for him to make it out alive. As soon as they were showing that even the hulk couldn't handle it with the gamma radiation, I knew the nail was going to be in the coffin.

All that aside... what I can say, is that if they HAD to kill him off, I think it was a proper send off. We saw so many arcs of Tony's come to a close, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Also that being said, I really don't believe in death being necessary to end a character's arc. Yeah yeah blah blah we get the sad and tragic but TRUE message that at the end of the day death is inevitable and that tony had to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He and Strange both knew it, and as soon as Strange held up that finger I knew that was it for him.

It wouldn't be so hard if they hadn't given us everything they did with tony after the 5 year jump. He healed. He was HAPPY. But pepper was right, and as long as Tony was alive... he would never truly /rest/. And that's the only way I'm able to make peace with this death. Tony has always been a character who was just going going going, never going to stop even if it killed him, all to protect the ones he loved, and protect the whole world and make it a better place. He had a beautiful story that was told so well over these past eleven years, with admitted shortcomings here and there. He had the most cohesive trilogy films, the best character development and arcs, and an incredible portrayal. I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't make it any easier that they decided to go and show us that Tony was able to FINALLY settle down with Pepper and see him find the best version of himself as a husband to her and a father to his little baby girl. A baby girl that now has to grow up without her dad, and pepper has to go on without her husband, the love of her life. It's fucking tragic and honestly, we didn't need that imho lmao

The hardest parts is that like.... idk. I feel like the only reason they killed him is for shock factor, but somehow without the shock? A lot of us felt or were worried that this was coming. I think the russos and co. We're just totally set on the idea that like... tony HAD to die and that was the only way for this arc to come to a close not just WITHIN the universe, but meta, outside of the MCU as well. They did the same thing with Hugh jackman as Logan and that shit HURTED me y'all. Eleven years we had RDJ give us this amazing character and he is the SOLE reason the MCU is where it is today. So you know what, the Russo's and everyone can circle jerk about how much ~poetic justice~ there is in this ending for Tony, but at the end of the day... it just ain't it fam.

Realistically I know after wielding the infinity stones there is no way Tony, a human, could've survived, even with his armor on. I knew that. And as biased as I am towards seeing Tony living, if he had wielded the stones and NOT died? It would've felt cheap. So again, if they had to end his life, I appreciate the way they did it and thought it was the best send off they could've given him. I also would've appreciated some kind of alternate option where oh i dont know carol or someone strong enough could've handled the snap and tony could live the rest of his days with his wife and daughter and found family but..... ig that's just me huh.

:(((( Happy asking Morgan what she wanted and her saying "cheeseburgers" SHE'S JUST LIKE HER DADDY I AM SO!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And last thought is that I fucking cried AGAIN because the biggest applause moment was during the credits when RDJ's name appeared. My theater gave a standing damn ovation. Also the very last sound after it faded to black... Tony hammering away, building the very first Iron Man suit.... that shit hurted.

If any of y'all read this and wanna yell about stuff w/ me I WELCOME YOU INTO MY DMS LMAO PLS MESSAGE ME I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CRY WITH!!!

[parkkjiminssi]

Our song.

one shot.

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: can too much fluff be considered a warning?

a/n: this was inspired by Taylor Swift’s song, Our Song. I heard it on my friend’s car and once I got home I immediately went to my music app and started playing it, because omg such a throwback! Then after that, well here I am lol. I hope you all enjoy this one shot. Please don’t be afraid to talk to me or send in requests, I love it when you do 💕

Your hair was flying everywhere as you rode shotgun on your boyfriend’s truck. The two of you were on the way back to drop you off home after your date at the car cinema, your hand intertwined with his. With your free hand you reached over and lowered the radio.

“Something wrong? You’ve been awfully quiet since we left the movies, babe.” Jungkook asked, sneaking a quick look at you.

“Well... you remember how the couple in the movie had their song?” You asked pulling a strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook nodded not taking his eyes off the road.

“I was wondering, how come we don’t have a song?” You finally asked nervously, tightening your grip around his hand.

His bunny smile started appearing on his face. “Baby, you want a song just for us?”

“Well, no it’s not that. I’m just wondering.”

Jungkook brought your hand to his lips and kissed it adoringly. “I’m sure we’ll know when we’ve found our song.”

After a couple of minutes, you finally reached your house. Jungkook turned off his truck before getting off and running over to your side to open the door for you. He walked behind you quietly as you made your way to your front door.

“Thank you for today, Jungkook. I love spending time with you.” You said turning around with a smile plastered on your face.

Jungkook walked up to you and enveloped you in a hug. “And I love you, Y/N. Thank you for being my girlfriend.”

Your cheeks started burning and you were so glad that it was nighttime, otherwise he would’ve been able to see your blush. He slowly started to let go to let you go inside, but before you entered you planted a peck on his lips.

“Call me when you get home.” You called to him as you opened the door.

“Will do, but if you’re sleepy please don’t hesitate on going to sleep.” He replied as he walked backwards to his truck, waving at you.

“I love you!” You exclaimed.

“I love you too, Y/N!” He called back, his truck door closing, his engine starting and your screen door slamming shut.

You looked at the ceiling as you laid on your bed. Today you were supposed to go out on a picnic with Jungkook but the rain had completly ruined your plans. The night had fallen upon already, only signaling that the day had been wasted.

Your phone chimed. It was your boyfriend.

You frowned at your screen but decided to ignore it, thinking that maybe Jungkook had fallen asleep or something. You locked your phone and placed it right next to you.

Twenty minutes had passed and you were starting to feel sleepy yourself. Your eyes had started to slowly close when a tapping on your window startled you.

“What? Don’t tell me the rain turned into hail.” You said as you stood from your bed and headed over to take a look through your window. What met you on the other side as you opened your blinds completely took you by surprise.

There, outside of your window was a completly soaked Jungkook with a basket on his hand.

“Baby, open the window. I’m going to catch a cold if I stay out here.” He teased with a smirk.

Your quickly opened the window, taking the basket from his hand and allowing him to come into your room. You ran to your restroom looking for towels and then to your brother’s room looking for dry clothes that could fit Jungkook.

“What were you thinking? You could get sick, babe.” You asked while you helped him dry his hair after he had changed into his borrowed clothes.

“I just figured that we shouldn’t let the rain ruin our plans. So I decided that our picnic day shall still happen even if it’s already a bit past midnight and inside.” Jungkook reached over for the basket that he had arrived with, and started pulling out food that had somehow survived the water.

You couldn’t help but smile and consider yourself the luckiest girl in the world.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” You whispered to yourself.

“What was that?” He asked, still focused on getting everything out of the basket.

You planted a kiss on his head before continuing to dry his hair. “Oh, nothing.”

“Babe? Babe, can you hear me?” You slowly whispered.

“Yes, I can hear you just fine love.” Jungkook replies on the other side of the line. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Your mom might get mad if she finds out we’re on the phone this late.”

“It’s okay. Wait wait, I think she’s coming.” You quickly hid your phone under the pillow and pretended to be asleep. Your mom slowly opened the door to your room and peeked inside, checking to see if you were indeed asleep. Once she was satisfied, she closed the door and retired her room.

You waited a couple of minutes to make sure she was truly gone before reaching for your phone.

“Jungkook, babe are you still there?” You whispered.

“Yes, I’m still here baby.”

A slight breeze of air brushed against your skin as you sat on the boat being rowed by your boyfriend. You had had the worst day possible and you honestly didn’t feel like doing anything, but somehow Jungkook had managed to convince you to go out with him. He kept on saying he had something to show you.

“Where are we going?” You asked while looking at your surroundings. You had never been here before.

“The other day I was out with the boys and I found this awesome place right by the river. I thought to myself: I have to show this to Y/N!” He answered as he stopped rowing. “We’re here.”

He slowly got off the boat and tied it down to the deck, to make sure it wasn’t going anywhere. Jungkook walked over to you and helped you off.

“Now close your eyes.”

“What?”

“I said close your eyes.” He said as he grabbed on to our hands and placed them over your eyes. “No peeking or you’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Fine but please hold my hand. I’m scared I might trip or something.” You extended one hand for him to take.

Jungkook smiled before taking it. “Babe, when have I let you down?”

After what seemed an eternity walking, maybe because you were walking so slow and cautiously, you finally arrived at this secret place Jungkook had mentioned.

“Okay, at the count of three open your eyes.” He said, letting go of you.

“Jungkook, you’re not trying to prank me right?”

“One...” He started counting.

“Because if you’re trying to get back at me for stealing one of your white shirts, I’m sorry.”

“So it was you!” He exclaimed but decided to let it pass. “Two...”

“You have too many white shirts, I didn’t think taking one would make a difference.” You continued explaining, hoping that it would save you from whatever Jungkook had in store for you.

“One! Open your eyes now, Y/N!”

You slowly opened your eyes, bracing yourself for what was coming but much to your surprise nothing fell on top of you or jumped out of anywhere. Instead, you were met with a huge tree. There was a blanket tied around it and as it met the ground, it flared out. Keeping it in place was a couple of rocks, creating some sort of tent.

Jungkook noticed your dumbfounded expression and just rolled his eyes. “Y/N, I can’t believe you actually thought I was going to prank you.” He took your hand and led you towards the tent.

Inside there were blankets and pillows spread around the floor to provide cushion, kind of like a bed. Snacks were laying against one of the makeshift walls and Jungkook’s guitar next to the other.

“Why did you bring your guitar?” You asked a bit confused. “You haven’t played it in forever.”

“Well,” He started saying as he reached for the instrument. “remember how a while ago you asked that how come we don’t have a song? I actually have been practicing and made one.”

“W-what? Wait, what?”

Jungkook only snickered. His fingers started strumming through the strings of his guitar creating a beautiful melody. He started singing. His voice so sweet and angelic. It never crossed your mind that he sang, Jungkook was just so good. But then again, he was good at everything he did.

“Our song is a slamming screen door, sneaking out late and tapping on your window.” He looked over at you and gave you a cheeky wink. “When we're on the phone and you talk real slow, 'cause it's late and your mama don't know.”

Tears started streaming down your face. Happy tears. Tears full of love for the boy that was sitting across from you.

“Our song is the way you laugh. The first date man I didn't kiss her when I should have.” Jungkook stopped playing his guitar and reached over to wipe away your tears, while continuing to sing without the instrument. “And when I got home, before I said amen, asking God if He could play it again.”

He pulled you closer to him, his lips meeting with yours. You returned the kiss with the same intensity as him, a bit wet due to your still flowing tears.

“I love you, Y/N. I think the reason why it took us so long to find a song was because we were meant to create our own.” Jungkook whispered, caressing the side of your face.

You mirrored his actions as a smile spread across your features. “I love you, Jungkook. I love you so much, thank you for everything.”

Jungkook pulled you along with him to lay down on your makeshift bed. “Take a look at this.”

He pulled onto one of the walls of the tent, making it fall down. Above you, a sky full of stars spreading for miles and miles.

“Hey, love.” You called to him while laying on his chest.

“Hmm?” He answered, his voice sounding sleepy.

“Would you mind adding this to our song?”

“You got it, beautiful!”

Masterlist

[khhunniewriting]

Hangover

Christian woke up to the loud ringing of his alarm. He blindly reached for his nightstand but there was nothing there. He didn’t want to get up yet so he let the noise continue knowing it would eventually shut off on its own.

The sound only got louder making you groan. “Make it stop,” your voice came out groggy and tired.

“Babe it’s on your side.” Christian tried turning but stopped when he felt something on his leg. He propped himself up on his elbows and saw you down by the foot of the bed, clinging to his leg. He laid back again chuckling as he imagined different scenarios of how you got there. 

He placed his hand on your head and began playing with your hair. From time to time he would massage the sides of your head making you smile in your sleep. When it stopped you tapped his thigh as a signal for him to continue, so he did.

Once he took his hand off and rested it back on the bed to see what you would do. “Christian~,” your brow furrowed, making creases appear on your forehead as you whined in a hushed voice at the loss. Christian laughed before giving in and going back to it. You smiled once more, “I think I have a hangover.”

“I think you do too.” Last night you and Christian had played beer pong against each other and of course, he won you. You ended up drinking so much beer that by the end of the night you couldn’t even get to bed. He had to carry you and now you weren’t even in the same place he had left you last night. “Why are you down there?”

“I had to pee.” In the middle of the night you stumbled your way to the bathroom and when you came back you couldn’t be bothered to climb all the way back into bed. You simply laid down at the edge and cuddled up to Christian.

Christian was drunk himself. That was why he didn’t notice your sudden change in the middle of the night. Unlike you, he was not hungover and felt fine now. He sat up, hovering over you and noticed neither of you had actually washed up for bed. “Babe you still have makeup on.”

You sighed, “I know.” 

“Want me to take it off for you?”

“Yes, please.” You let go of him so he could get out of bed. 

Christian left and came back quickly with makeup removing wipes that he had seen you use before. “Babe sit up.” You sat up with your eyes still closed making it easier for Christian to take off the makeup. He was careful and gentle making sure not to poke your eye or anything like that. 

Once he was done you opened your eyes for the first time and smiled at him. “Thank you,” you wrapped your arms around his neck then tried to fall back onto the bed but he wouldn’t allow it.

After a quick shower, you found yourself squinting as you walked outside in the bright morning sun waiting for Christian. The throbbing pain in your head annoyed you, “Christian can we go now?” After a moment you went looking for him, “What’s taking so long-” You immediately turned away as you saw Christian had his phone pointed at you. 

“Babe say hello to everyone.”

“No” you pulled your hood up and tugged on the drawstrings to hide the majority of your face. “Why do you want to put me on blast like this?” 

LOL 😂

😂😂😂 I died when she pulled on the strings 😂😂😂

He hugged you from behind with one hand while the other held his phone out. He placed his head beside yours as if he were trying to take a selfie with you.  “I already told them you are hungover so come on show your face.”

“No” you responded.

Christian had no choice but to begin kissing your cheek. You could still feel the light pecks through the hoodie and squirmed around feeling ticklish. “Alright fine.” 

Oppa is so cute😍

Kiss me like that please~😘

You withdrew the drawstrings and pulled your hood off. Christian smoothed out the stray hairs for you realizing your har was still a bit damp from the shower. “You didn’t blow dry your hair?”

You shook your head with a grimace, “The hair dryer was too loud.”

I always get headaches after drinking.

Where are you two going?

OMG! My favorite couple💑

Christian held your hand before turning back to his phone and reading the comments his fans were making. “We are going to get some hangover soup.”

You don’t look hungover

I just got here. Is he hungover?

They both are.

No only Y/N is.

Yeah she is.

“I’m not hungover, just taking care of Y/N.” He turned the phone to get a shot of you. You gave a quick glance and waved with your free hand.

Oppa you are so caring ❤

She must feel loved 💕

Fuck it, I feel loved ❤ ❤ ❤

Lucky bitch

She’s not that pretty 😏

Christian ignored the negative comments like always. He knew there would always be someone like that around if he acknowledged them. Instead, he focused on the positive comments. “Babe, do you feel loved?” 

You nodded, “All the time.”

Awwww~ ❤ ❤ ❤

OMG just take my heart you two (╯°□°）╯︵ ❤ 

I’m going to die alone😢💔but I’m so happy for you two...

When you arrived at the restaurant Christian let you pick the table you wanted to sit at. “Let’s sit there,” you pointed to a table that was farther away from the windows. You didn’t want the sunlight bothering you anymore. 

After sitting down Christian handed you his phone. “Here you take over while I put in our order.”

“Okay,” you were no stranger to Instagram live. You had seen Christian do it billions of times and had been part of it as well. 

Leaving your unlocked phone with a girl...Now that is trust.

Hello Unnie~

Are you running the show today?

After taking over you were flooded with greetings. “Hello everyone.” You gave your best smile before switching from the front-facing camera to the back one. "Christian gave me his phone while he orders. Look there he goes,” you zoomed in on him as he talked to the cashier.

It wasn’t long before he was back and you handed it over to him once more. “It’s going to be a twenty-minute wait.”

You sighed in annoyance. “Maybe I should have taken that painkiller. My head is killing me.” You threw your head back letting it dangle over the back of your seat. 

This was me yesterday

How much did you drink Y/N?

With the camera on him, Christian began reading through the comments. “She drank like six beers, maybe more.” Christian tried thinking back to last night but he couldn’t really remember the exact amount either of you had drunk. “She never really drinks beer either so it hit her pretty hard.”

You could be heard saying, “Don’t even mention that nasty liquid.”

I love beer 

What did she say?

Why did Y/N drink so much?

She said not to mention that nasty liquid😂

“Babe, they want to know and why you drink so much last night?” He turned the camera to you. This was when you finally brought your head back up and sat properly. 

“He made me do it.” You pointed straight ahead at Christian.

WHAT?!😮

Was it a dare?

“I didn’t make you drink it. I actually told you it was okay to throw it out.”

“You know I can’t do that.” Crossing your arms across your chest you knew you would eventually have to admit what happened. “If I lost then I have to drink it.” You were a very competitive person and didn’t want to skimp out on the punishments of the game knowing you would never allow him to either. 

Christian laughed at the way your lips were starting to form a pout without your knowledge. “You are starting to pout.”

She’s so cute^^❤

Awww is she mad?

“They think it’s cute.”

You covered your face feeling embarrassed with all the attention. “Stop showing my face they are trying to see you not me.”

“But I want you to be in it too.”

Yes, only you please~

Sit next to her.

I stan you two so hard and want both of you!

Yes! Christian and Y/N forever!

I just want you Oppa😍

After reading the suggestions Christian changed seats and sat beside you instead of in front of you. It was a strange way to be seated usually, you saw couples at restaurants sitting in front of each other. “There,” he propped his phone up with a napkin dispenser so he was now hands-free. 

Yall give me hope that I will find someone special one day❤

You knew you couldn’t hide any longer and embraced the idea of letting others into your hangover recovery date with Christian. 

-end-

A/N: I know it’s very random but I hope it was cute and fluffy enough~ I added emojis this time. What do you guys think?

[karen-kk]

After a long flight home, I'm finally ready to sit down and write about my experience during L'Arc~en~Ciel 25th Anniversary event. This is more of my personal experience than a live report, sharing what I enjoyed and what I didn't. Shockingly it has turned out quite long, so you are warned.

First of all I must say I was very impressed by their Japanese management team and staff members. The scope of the operation was incredible with 110k people attending, and yet everything was well organised and well prepared for. I'll use the example of the goods store. The store opened at 9am each day, I was told people started queuing as early as 4am. I joined the queue around noon, by that time it had already taken over both side of the pedestrian paths and then some. I couldn't even see the store. There were security guards and staff everywhere making sure everyone knew where the end of line was (yes, it was that confusing. It took me 15 minutes to find it because I didn't speak Japanese), we were not blocking the path and obstructing other tourists in the Tokyo Dome City, and we were moving on quickly and efficiently. The store had total of 24 booths, so it didn't take as long as I thought it would. Even with the language barrier, the transaction was very smooth. All my interaction with the staff members had been extremely pleasant. From security check to being shown to my seats they were always there when I needed help. They had always been courteous and helpful even though most people I spoke to knew very little English.

Japanese Laruku fans were very interesting to observe. They seemed to be from all age groups and occupations. I had seen teenagers, young adults, people around my age, my parents' age and older even. It never ceases to amaze me how big their male fan base is in Japan. I would say about 35-40%? In contrast VAMPS hard rock style, their split was like 5-95 with female fans completely dominating the scene when I saw them back in 2009, but I think the ratio has shifted a bit nowadays. And I don't mean guys being dragged there by their girlfriends etc. A lot of them either came by themselves or in groups. The 2 guys next to me in day 1 were dancing hyde's signature moves throughout the entire live, and they were talking about how they admired the band since primary school. At lease third of the hyde cosplayers that I spotted were male. There were many families that brought their kids with them as well (I hope Ken-chan's MCs were not too r-rated). One of the cutest hyde cosplayer was this little girl about 10 years old dressing up as hyde in the 20th L'Annivesary period. She was so adorable with the braids and jacket and everything. On my way out in day 1, I overheard another little girl babbling about haido haido excitedly to her mother, so cute! The fans were so friendly as well. I had a yuki fan coming to me and giving me a present including a Japanese traditional dessert with her hand drawing of yuki. I had another girl coming to me when she realised that I didn't have a LED wristband, and she helped me to speak to the staff to get one. Then with her broken English and my non-existed Japanese we squealed over how "cute-handsome-kawaii-kagoii" hyde was lol

The tour goods are worth mentioning as well. They are such good quality comparing to what I bought during the VAMPS tour years back. My favorites include the expensive as hell handbag and the teddy. The handbag has all the staff access passes stitched on from all of their past tours. It is like carrying a piece of Laruku history whenever I use them. The denim material is thick and strong, the only downside is it is quite heavy. I personally think it looks so much better the 20th Anniversary version. When I went sightseeing yesterday I still saw a lot of people carrying it around Tokyo. The tour book is great too, with much better English. I only wish they would stop repeating the same paragraphs over and over though. And it also reminds me of the good old days when hyde still had our beloved eyebrows...

I was very impressed with the stage design. One of the reasons why I had always wanted to see Laruku in their home land was because they would have the budget and resources to go all out. And I was not disappointed. As soon as the screens lit up, I was in awe. It was so beautiful! The theme of the concert was locating pieces of Laruku's history and it was very well incorporated into the setup. They also integrated past live footages with the current live broadcast on the giant screens. The front part of the stage was detachable, it moved during Revolution and carried the members to the smaller stage at the other side. Everything was very well thought out and visually stunning. Not to mention there were real flames and mini fireworks. The Dome looked incredible with all the LED wristband, which were being manipulated as a giant LED screen.

This was why I found hyde's outfits so incredibly jarring. I know I've complained about this numerous times in the last 2 days, I just can't let it go. His first 2 outfits made him stood out like a sore thumb for half of the concert. I literally laughed out loud when I saw what he was wearing, and it was during Niji. I felt so bad about this. It is a song that means the world to the band and its fans because of what it represents. And there I was, laughing while he sang his heart out... ==|||

The other complaint that I have is the set list, with 2 days and only 4 songs being changed. I may have been spoiled by the 20th Anniversary where 2 days had completely different set list. The thing I really love about Laruku is their ability to make their older songs shine during lives. I haven't been a fan of their older studio albums for some reason. But their more recent lives always managed to make me realize how great they were even back in the days. I fell in love with songs like In the Air, Shutting in the Sky, As If in a Dream, Garasu Dama, Floods of Tears, Dune, White Feathers etc. this way. And I was hoping because it was an Anniversary event, older songs would have been performed. But no. And my all time favorite songs such as Metropolis, Jojoushi, Bless, Ibara no Namida, New World, Hoshizora, Umibe were not played as well. I was also secretly hoping for an appearance of P'unk-en-Ciel as well... I guess they are no longer doing it?

Given my first day's seat being really bad, being on the far right hand, I can't really say much because I could barely see anything. To make the matter worse, the bass sounded really loud and distorted, and it kept bled into the vocal. It was difficult to hear at the times so I can only share my favorite moments from day 2.

During Revolution, we all went crazy when we saw hyde and ken-chan on the drum, yuki and te-chan played the bass and guitar respectively, then the stage started to separate and carried them over to the other side of arena. At the end of that session, when the stage started moving back everyone had a basket of balls that they were supposed to threw to the crowd. Yuki, on the other hand decided to take a shortcut and just dumped his entire basket of balls along with his basket. He was clearly channeling his Acid Android persona. Unfortunately, it didn't get him out of his job, he was immediately handed another basket. Then ken-chan decided to get creative as well, he tried to balance one of his balls on the edge of stage and starting to blow at it to make it fall. During one of the MCs, hyde played Fullmetal Alchemist a few times by clapping his hands and slapped them onto the ground a few times to make us create human waves. We did, and we also did it in reverse while he screamed in fake horror. The staff then blew air or dry ice on him as the waves approached his side. During second half of Blurry Eyes, he forgot that he already threw his whistle to the crowd and he had to make a mad dash toward the back to get the second one. He never made it in time and we all laughed. Did I mention how hot leader-sama was in his stylish white suit and white Alexander McQueen scarf? OMG! I had never considered him good looking until now (gomenasai, leader-sama, your array of way too colorful outfits usually blinds me). It probably helped with hyde being such stark contrast.

Edit 1: Hyde did a member introduction during day 2, even though I doubted there was a soul in the Dome who didn’t knowing who they were. It went like “drum - yuki~, guitar - ken~, bass - tetsuya, and vocal~“ and we called out HAIDO~~~~!!! He looked so proud! It was so cute!

Ken-chan had sunglasses on the entire time during day 2. At the end of the concert, right before he went off the stage he was wiping his eyes with his hand. Was he crying? I couldn't tell. Leader-sama came back to the stage with his basket of bananas and asking "mina genki, genki desuka" as usual. Only this time, he took off his Alexander McQueen scarf and wrapped around one of the bananas and threw it to the crowd. We all went eh~?

My most memorable moment was definitely during My Heart Draws A Dream. When hyde took off his earphone to hear us sing the chorus and our voices echoed throughout the Dome, I cried.  The open tenderness on his (eyebrowless) face was so beautiful. It was the perfect moment that I will treasure forever.

Overall, the concerts were not what I expected, but I don't regret spending an arm and leg to participate in this important milestone in their career. As a fan, I already had so many regrets, like not seeing their AYR and their Theater of Kiss tours, and of course missing out on the 20th Anniversary. I didn't want this to be a regret as well. Leader-sama mentioned 30th Anniversary already and I do hope I would have the privilege of being there.

Happy anniversary, L’Arc~en~Ciel.

[zalrb]

This episode was SO jokes {TVD 8x15 Review}

Hi all! You know the deal. I write my thoughts in real time so anything I saw at the beginning that might be a mistake may be corrected by the end. This review will have anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments and will most likely have references to other shows and to the misogynoir, anti-blackness and racism in the narrative. If you do not like it, you do not have to read this. Are you ready? OK! Let's go. 1. So I'm stopping a very promising Kdrama to watch this. The Kdrama is called Mirror of the Witch, I'm on the first episode and already there are more consequences in this drama than all eight seasons of TVD. So far it looks exceptionally dark and mean-spirited, I think it might actually disturb me. Anyway. It's still entirely ridiculous that Cade's last words are “Go to hell.” Like why? Also why would Stefan say, “You first”? Wasn't Cade already in hell? Like didn't he sort of create it? And now he's just ... dead? What was that dialogue? 2. I like how opening the door to Cade's world will only destroy everything for “miles”, like that's such a small scale, shouldn't it be the end of the world if the devil is walking among us? Or is he not the devil, is Katherine the devil? I'm confused about the Hell hierarchy, you see. 3. Also I should mention I have a cold and I took cough syrup and it SAYS non-drowsy but last night I was knocked the fuck out so if I get a little loopy near the end, it could be that. Or it could be that watching TVD has finally addled my brain. Who knows. 4. They really do hype Katherine way too much. 5. Sorry, pausing because my cat is being extremely affectionate and I would rather play with her for a little than watch what trash this episode is going to be. 6. But now she's on my keyboard. It's like she's trying to spare me. 7. The lighting in this episode seems to be darker than normal, I can barely see anything. 8. I think it's funny that Caroline keeps waking up expecting to see Stefan and he's not there. 9. Matt's hair is SO stupid though. LIKE WHY. 10. I have it paused because the video is loading still but like seriously, he looks thoroughly unattractive like this and out of character I think Zach is pretty cute, so like ugh, why am I subjected to this. 11. Why do we care about Matt's dad again? 12. Or his mother for that matter. 13. Like remember when she came to town and then made out with Damon and then they discovered Vicki was dead and she made out with Tyler? Or was Tyler first and then Damon? Either way, she's messy af. The only interesting dynamic was her and Caroline and Elena. She's pointless. 14. “That was a lifetime ago, things have changed since then” that should just replace the title of TVD. “Didn't Damon kill your sister?” “That was a long time ago.” “Didn't Damon kill your brother” “That was a long time ago.” And now apparently abandoning your family because of man pain and cowardice and immaturity is “a lifetime ago” too but oh no, Stefan was a ripper a literal century ago and we need to harp on it forever. 15. Real talk, I already feel kinda woozy but it's fine it's like being buzzed and it's probably the only way I will get through this episode. 16. Why would Dorian agreeing to help them on how to get rid of the “Queen of Hell” be misconstrued as him being “cool” with Stefan though? Isn't getting rid of someone who is supposed to be the devil Plus be in everyone's best interest? Like whatever, it was just another chance to take a shot at Stefan. Transparent as fuck. 17. That red looks nice on Kat. 18. I like how Katherine is in this world, everything is supposed to be going to shit and Matt isn't like “Mom, Dad, I hate you but you need to leave town because you could possibly die” he's just like yeah fam, I'm rescheduling our awkward dinner date. Like lol. It would be more interesting if he didn't give a shit if they died but this is just the writers being the writers. In Buffy, when the Mayor is supposed to devour all of Sunnydale, Buffy forces her mother to leave town and tells her if she doesn't her presence will get her [Buffy] killed. 19. I love Stefan's face when Damon says “she's obsessed with Stefan” like BITCH WHO TOLD YOU TO TALK? 20. Why does it have to be a wedding though? It could just as easily be an engagement party or a rehearsal dinner, like sooooooooooo forced. 21. I mean, I don't blame Bonnie for hating Stefan but Damon was responsible for killing Jeremy and kidnapping Jeremy, Enzo was responsible for suffocating Jeremy and she's cool with both of them, hell she fell in love with one of them so I'm just like girl, I guess. The writers are ridiculous because it just feels like they don't know the web they've created with these characters and understand that they've turned pretty much everyone into a hyprocrite. 22. And as a non-Beremy shipper, I still think Bonnie loved Jeremy more than Enzo and Beremy was a problematic af ship but at least some things were halfway earned, Bonenzo is pure dialogue, fam. 23. Oh and looks. 24. I don't even know why Damon needs to tell Stefan that what happened to Enzo will haunt him like Stefan isn't new to guilt. Why are they making it seem like this is Stefan's first rodeo? 25. My video keeps fucking buffering. I might switch sites because I love myself too much to drag this out longer than I have to. Because I am only eight minutes in, that's not gonna fly. 26. OK so everything is just buffering. I was supposed to have my data back, what is this. 27. Right now I have it paused on Damon. I really don't get what anons mean when they tell me his arms are huge. Like I don't see it. 28. WHO CARES ABOUT MATT'S MOM? What's her name again? Kelly? 29. Is she dying? 30. She's dying. 31. Oh she's dead. Ish. 32. “Oh please don't be mad at me, Caroline” that actually sounded like Stefan was talking to his mother. 33. Yeah this BE scene is giving me nothing. 34. Liz did a TERRIBLE job protecting MF, who are we kidding? And toasting with your rape victim about how her mother became your best friend and now her daughter will be your family is disgusting. 35. Lol yes use the SE necklace that Damon kept taking to give it to Caroline on her wedding day for Stefan because we're ignoring how important that necklace was to SE, sure. 36. Seriously, Caroline looks at Alaric with more love than she does Stefan. Like just marry him, y'all are more compatible and have more chemistry than you and Stefan anyway. Like omg. 37. “I hope I get to see this one day with you and Elena” lol the FLATTEST delivery ever. Like do you even mean it? Do you REALLY? Think hard, Stefan. 38. “I want to be a part of your happiness” I mean I guess. I don't like Bonnie being arbitrary in her blame for Stefan but like can the girl be selfish and feel what she feels when she feels it for once? And indulge? Like?? 39. I also find it interesting that Stefan and Caroline don't have a private moment before the wedding, like I know this isn't how we wanted to do this blah blah blah. They're so segregated even when they're together. 40. Do the writers not know of any alcohol other than bourbon? 41. The slow mo doesn't change the deadened expression on Paul's face, guys. Sorry. 42. Also Alaric's speech is stupid, who becomes “family” with the people who have continuously terrorized your life and are responsible for the people you've lost? Like that's when you see a psychiatrist because you have serious emotional issues. 43. “You saw light in me when all I saw was darkness.” WHEN WAS THIS? NO LEGIT WHEN? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. Madly in love, you don't even look madly in love, you look SO chill. OMG. 44. LOL bout you've been ready since you saw him at school. You were on his jock for one episode, then you onto Damon and were unfortunate enough to be his victim, then it was Matt, then it was Tyler, then it was Klaus, then it was Tyler then it was Jesse then it was Klaus then it was Stefan. Girl bye. 45. That SC dance looks SO AWKWARD. LOL SLOW MO DOESN'T MAKE SHIT BETTER UNLESS IT'S ALREADY GOOD 46. Of course Matt's dad isn't dead. I mean he got stabbed when it was light out and now it's dark but he's still gurgling. Jesus. We met him THIS season, Julie, you can kill the irrelevant fucker off. 47. I don't know why Caroline is STILL wearing the necklace. 48. HER NAME IS KELLY. I WAS RIGHT. 49. Why isn't Caroline vamp speeding into the house? 50. Really? That's your reaction to your kids potentially dying? 51. So like the smoke is having no effect on Bonnie? 52. And them siphoning her doesn't hurt? 53. Caroline is legit calm when she thought her kids were dead for a minute. 54. LMFAO SO WHO ISN'T IN HELL? Vicki was in hell, Kelly was in hell, so like ERRBODY GOES TO HELL THEN? WHAT CRITERIA IS THERE? Like if I run a stop light do I go to hell because it's against the law? What if I jaywalk or accidentally step on an ant or something? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY. 55. STEFAN WHY DON'T YOU EVER CHECK ANYONE'S PULSE? Final thoughts: This episode didn't enrage me like I thought it would, it's just thoroughly ridiculous because it attempts to haphazardly rewrite history and Paul was such a lacklustre groom, like faaaam, those vows were horrible. And Caroline and Stefan are just so isolated from each other, like they don't feel like a couple or a pair, they don't feel like one, it's so very cold. Kelly coming back with her daughter to destroy MF is like, I mean I guess, Katherine's plan isn't even original, Stefan was going to burn MF to the ground first anyway, like we're seriously recycling plots in the same season too? This was actually laughably bad.

[blueeyed-butterfly]

For you. (Pt. 2)

I didn’t. It was awkward but at the same time I was happy to have you in my class for the first time since 9th grade. I’m pretty sure I ended up moving a couple weeks later or so. I remember after i moved we got In contact again and caught up. Can’t remember if we started dating or not that time. If we did. It wasn’t long. I ended up moving out of state. You ended up dating someone from here. We did our own thing for months. I remember around Christmas I ended up moving back home, and I remember we started talking again. You ended up breaking up with your girlfriend. We started dating once again lol. Remember that time when we were planning on moving to Florida together? Lmao we didn’t have a clue on what we were doing. We were still so young. 18-19 years old. Eventually that idea died. Along with or relationship once again. I ended up moving back out of state for over a year. You did your thing. I came back home destroyed over the relationship I was just in. A few months later or so you borrowed your moms car to come get me so we could hang out and catch up. It was like we never were apart. We always picked up where we left off. It was never awkward. You were always my best friend even if we weren’t dating. I remember listening to music, and recording you singing “animals” my Maroon 5. Life was finally feeling good for me for the first time in forever. I think that night we went to the Falls and it started pouring rain and we were under that bridge for a while. Just talking and joking around. We started dating again. But you were different, you were very sad. I wanted to be there for you. I remember sitting in your garage in kenmore with your mom and the things you said scared me. You wanted to die. I honestly was afraid to lose you. I was really afraid if something was going to happen. I’m not sure if we broke up again but I think we did, but I remember eventually meeting your grandparents and they loved me from the first second they met me, and I loved them! They were always so nice and welcoming and I felt like part of the family when I was around. You and I had so many memories there. Swimming In the pool, yelling at you for getting my hair wet, jumping in the trampoline. Laying on the trampoline looking at the stars. Laying there watching movies, til we both fell asleep cuddled up on the couch. I remember one night you were so sad you actually cried in front of me. I never seen that side of you. I just wanted to comfort you. I’m not sure how long after, but I remember sitting on my porch one day and for some reason you were with your ex gf at Tim hortons and she had your phone and sent me a long text as you saying you were breaking up with me. I was so confused and so hurt. Didn’t see it coming. But later that day you and I met up and talked and shit worked out. Although I still had some fears and confusion going on. A few days later or so i believe I was drinking a couple of my dads beers and told you to come pick me up so we could hang out and we went to the falls. We went up on the observation deck and we watched the fireworks. Something came over me, maybe it had something to do with the beer, giving me some courage to say to you that I wanted to finally have sex. You were shocked lol I was shocked. We left, and I snuck you into my house. We laid there for a while. I was nervous as fuck because it was my first time. You made me feel comfortable though. You were nervous yourself even shaking. We just laughed and let it happen. I was SO happy that you’re the one I lost it to. You were my person. No matter what. It was a special moment for me for sure. We laid there afterwards cuddling and I couldn’t believe what just happened. Remember around that time we were trying to get pregnant? Lol we tried a few times.So young and naive we were. Remember the 4th of July party at your Nonnas place. That day was very fun, I remember dancing with your sister, drunk as hell not giving a fuck lol you’d never seen me dance sober. Your sister was also very drunk. I remember it got dark and we were all on the trampoline I literally couldnt even jump let alone walk on the trampoline without falling over, and then the cops showed up and we started freaking out. We ran inside, into the bathroom and your sister hid her beer can in the bathroom cabinet lmao. Afterwards you went to bring me home, and I threw up in the front yard. Ill never forget that night. Remember when we went to the Florida Georgia line concert literally last minute? We had to drive all the way out past where the concert was to buy tickets, when the concert had already started. We got there in the middle if not cose to the end of it, but we still made the best out of it. It was the first time I was ever sober at a concert lol. About a month later we went to the luke bryan concert with Kelsey and met up with some people. We pregamed and then went into the concert where we just kept drinking, making memories having a good time.Then the one girl we were with, her boyfriend started talking to other girls and that made drunk me mad as hell so I guess i started hitting you saying you better not ever do that shit to me lol. Im still sorry for that by the way. That was still one of the best concerts I’ve been too. On the way back I had to pee so bad I was crying so I made you pull over so i could pee. Then on the way home I wanted cheeseburgers (Like i always do when I drink) so we stopped at Mcdonalds with Kelsey and drunk me said how I wanted to go in your basement (meaning have sex) lmao. Well that didnt end up happening that night, but I did end up staying the night. 

We once again ended up breaking up like a month later. I started dating someone new eventually, and you got back with your ex and moved out of town with her. We did our own thing for months. Months pass, October-August. It was the end of August when we got back in contact, you moved back home because you guys broke up. I was single. we went down to the harbor and talked and played on the playground in the pitch darkness of the night. We were just friends at that point, but I was happy to just be hanging out with you. Well a couple weeks later, I was at work, standing there just clocked out, when I opened facebook and saw that you announced you were having a baby girl with your ex. I was so shocked, if you saw my face it probably turned white. I couldnt believe it. I texted you asking how long you knew about this because you mentioned she was due in November, and it was already into September at this point. I just didnt understand, my heart was crushed. I thought i’d lose you forever. Things were about to change big time and I didnt know what to do. You were my everything and I was sure it was the end. You ended up getting back together with her. We stopped talking til a few months later, the baby was born and somehow we started talking, you were still with her but you told me you thought she was cheating on you. So me being the detective I am, sure enough found that she had that dating profile, and was claiming she was a single mother, when you guys were still together, and living together. I was so mad, for you. How the hell is someone going to do something like that? Well things ended with you guys, and we ended up back together. No matter what we always found our way back to eachother. Yes we did break up alot. But it was always for stupid reasons. I remember meeting your baby for the first time, and holding her and it did kind of make me sad, thinking “Wow, this could have been our baby” it really did suck knowing that it couldnt happen for us, but did for you and her. Thats all I ever wanted, was to start a family with you. 

We ended up breaking up, for another few months and dated other people. We got back together in June, which didnt last long. Omg its so crazy to think about all the times we broke up and what not. I can see why people talked alot of shit, but we didn’t care because we loved eachother.  Time went by almost a whole year, I moved out of my house in April and by May we were talking again and got back together. This was the last time we were together. We swore that was gonna be our time. That this was it, we were going to stay together and never break up again. We were having really good time, I met some of your new friends, and your cousin. We hung out with them a few times, we went to Canal Fest, We went to Kenmore Days, we did your little Niagara Falls dates, went to the outer harbor like old days, things just felt so right. I was so happy, and still in love with you. I remember the one night after drinking and your friends place, we went back to my place, and even though I had it in my mind, I was too nervous to bring it up, that I wanted to have sex, until you asked. It was like our first time all over again, I felt so nervous. But it was just as special as the first time. Laying there after, cuddled up, even though it was hot as fuck in my room, was one of my favorite feelings. It just felt so right. That weekend we went to the beach, the same one we went to with your family in the summer of 9th grade. I loved going there with you. That place will always hold that special memory. I took so many pictures and videos of you, and us. I still have them all. Weeks past, I decided to move out of my roommates house and move back home. You helped me move all my stuff back home, and later that night we went out to eat with your cousin. Life was going good, I was happy.. Until on the way home, I seen your ex’s name pop up on your car radio. My heart sunk, but I played it off like I didnt see it. We got to my house, I gave you the last kiss that we ever had. I got in my house and broke down. Why? We were so happy and finally in a great place with eachother. I thought to myself this is just a really bad dream. But it wasn’t. You said it was nothing, but I couldn’t belive it. I didn’t see a reason for you to still be talking to her. So we broke up. A couple months go by, and  I didnt get my period, and I thought I was pregnant. I kept getting faint lines on tests, even though by that point, they would’ve been coming up dark. But I read all this stuff online. That is could happen to some people where they have faint lines their whole pregnancy, or they never get a positive test when they are in fact pregnant. So I believed I was, I kept taking more and more tests, I was even starting to look pregnant. I told you I was, and I was scared. I couldnt talk to you. I didnt want to go to the dr because I went there years prior telling her I thought i was pregnant and I wasnt, so i didnt wanna look crazy again. So i kept it to myself, my stomach kept getting bigger, no period, had all the symptoms. I still have pictures, and Im sure I still have tests hidden somewhere. I didnt know what to do our expect. I was like “Am I really gonna have a baby in March?” Well March comes, and surely enough I wasnt pregnant. I went through a phantom/hysterical pregnancy. I was in a really dark place after that. What I went through was not easy. Its a real thing. A month or two past and I heard from my coworker who also works a 2nd job at your moms work, that she knew your mom and your mom asked about me and if i really had a baby. So I texted your mom later that day and explained everything. I messaged you the next day to talk. I explained everything, and you were understanding, I think. It was almost a year at that point that I seen you, and I really wanted to meet up and talk about it in person. But you were dating someone at this time. You told me that we could be friends, and talk to eachother, which I was happy about. But there were times I told you I love you and how I missed you, and even though you were dating someone, and I knew that.. something felt off. I knew something was up. Because in the past if we were talking, and you were dating someone else you would come back to me. As bad as that sounds. I said to myself why do I feel like this girl is gonna end up pregnant in the next couple months... Well funny enough, the next night im at work and I open twitter, and I seen you announced that you guys were having a baby. My heart dropped more than it did the first time. I was having a full blown anxiety attack while trying to work. It was a mix of emotions from what I had just went thru, to wondering why and how did you let that happen. It all made sense though to why you were acting off. I left you alone. But I was still hurt and upset over the news. People from our highschool made tweets and shit and me being hurt, decided to make a post myself. You weren’t too happy about that. I do apoligize for writing it. But you have to see it from my point of view. I want to be happy for you, but I cant. Because we were never supposed to be over. You are the love of my life. My highschool sweetheart. I wanted to marry you. I still do. And it sucks to know that it will most likely never happen. I’ve been single for a year and like 2 months now since we broke up. I haven’t had any interest in talking to someone knew. A couple months ago, I did try to talk to people, because I have no one to talk to in general, I tried to find connecitons with people, but I literally can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop holding on to hope. There is no one else I want but you. And it breaks my heart. I still cry for you. I still think about you, everyday. This post is obviously very very long. And if you took the time to read all of it, thank you. Even though I know nothing is going to come out of this I had to let it all out. The other night literally every single memory I had with you came rushing back, and I had to write it all out. We have had soooo many good times, and bad. But the good outweighs the bad. I truly think we were meant to be together. Maybe some day we will cross paths again. I’ve been writing for hours, and my eyes hurt, my vision is blurry. I just want to say I love you Anthony Jaskowiak, and I always will. 

[shkeitout]

martin/adaline

i kind of have this headcanon that like, basically martin has been spending every moment past last summer trying to help adaline? because he knows there’s nothing that can bring their child back, but he wants to support her in any way he can. like idk, you know i’m a total sucker for the people who have been best friends for all eternity tbh, so i kind of imagined they’d at least been friends since the beginning of high school for her? like okay idk if they do this at your school, but in america some schools assign like an older student to show you around campus when you get there, and i had this headcanon that martin was assigned to adaline, and they kind of hit it off really quickly? like he’s super friendly and kind, so he invited her to a party that night (and ended up kissing her by the end of the night, what a champ :*) and then he took her on a proper date soon after, whiiiich led to them dating for forever now.

and like, they’ve been through everything together, really. and they’re incredibly supportive of each other, and the thing that’s absolutely killing martin, is that this is something he can’t fix :( like, he knows it’s going to take time and he wants to help kshdksah so i don’t think he’s pressured her for anything sexually, and he brings her tea in the mornings because she prefers that and he always is there supporting her at her dancing things. basically, they’re distant but they’re starting to get better, because while they’re both CLEARLY still grieving, she’s starting to get interested in more than just dancing again and they’re having their familiar banter and are kissing :$ and they’ve started fooling around again, and it’s better? like not 100% again but getting there

edmund/malena

so, i sort of think edmund and malena grew up together? like they both come from the same city and things, and like. they were sort of the couple that everyone looked at and was like “fuck, they’ll end up together” sort of like nate & blair you know, except i think that edmund (UNLIKE NATE WHO IS A FUCKBOY) never really questioned it? like, she was as much his best friend as he is hers, so it was like ‘well, if i end up with malena, i’ll be happy’ because he will be and he knows that kshakdh

and i don’t think like, edmund’s a serial cheater or anything or that it was even like a ‘wow i really like eliana’ thing? like, i don’t want them to be a sideship so i think like.. it was something that didn’t really mean anything? like it obviously meant something bc friendsies but it was mostly probably just like malena had left for the summer and they’d been weird and he was drunk and lonely at some society thing and they ended up fucking because eliana is frisky always and he was hot and she might as well try it once ya know :o but afterwards, i think they both felt pretty shitty about it because like, they were all friends and they’d done this super shitty thing to malena who was in like france for the summer??

so i think edmund told malena when she came back from france, and obviously she was super mad and hurt :c and didn’t really trust him again for a while >:( but she forgave him because they were so close before??? and he’s her first love and i think he was kind of really sweet and didn’t get annoyed when she got jealous and there’s still some issues but these assholes are working it out

august/brooke

mm, so my idea for august and brooke is kind of hard to explain because i don’t have it 100% worked out?? but basically, august used to be the boy who experimented with everything?? drugs, sex, etc. and i think like, he tends to get addicted to things.. like not like drug addictions bc he wont let himself!! but like, hes’ incredibly addicted to brooke because he always wants to be around her, but i also think he’s guarded bc his mom cheated on his dad when he was younger, so he doesn’t trust women really? which probably lead to him being a bit of a womanizer before he ended up with brooke??

i think like, lowkey he was always attracted to brooke? because she’s hot and he’s known her forever, and i think he was always teasing her, trying to hit on her and convince her to get high w/ him and end up riding his cock ;) bc let’s face it, he likes high sex a loooooooot and she was always saying no, but last summer, i think like, she finally was like omg fine and they ended up hooking up at some party? and like he was totally like nah one time thing but then it happened and he realized how hot she really was and how good she was, so he made it a two time thing and then a three.. and then somehow he realized there were feelings??

and people obviously were like omg date you idiots but i think brooke probably didn’t think august really would want that??? bc obviously august didnt think that so she was always like lol no we’re just fucking!! but then he finally was like fuck and asked her on a date bc he realized you don’t keep a girl like brooke without putting in some fucking effort, but every once in a while this boy is an idiot and just disappears emotionally and i think it frustrates brooke a bit bc like, she has a lot of feelings for him and she knows he does too, but neither of them will fucking talk about it because theyRE STUPID AS FUCK even tho they’ve definitely said i love you, they just don’t say it all the time

eliana/matthias

basically, i have this idea that like eliana and matthias are both kind of dumb and don’t talk about their feelings?? like, they both fuck around with npcs a lot, and obviously eliana fucked edmund last summer and matthias definitely knows and gave her a lot of shit about it :c bc he’s rude even tho he’s probabyl a hypocrite bc he’s probably screwed someone who was taken

the biggest thing about both of them is that more or less, they both like to have control? especially eliana, because she’s obsessed with perfection and keeping up the perfect appearance wHICH MATTHIAS IS A LITTLE SHIT AND LIKES TO FUCK UP!! like, eliana has an eating disorder bc she’s so focused on being perfect at any cost and he knows that, and i think he does try to be supportive bc friendsies first :$ but in a lot of ways, he does want to kind of unravel her world a little bit c:

the one thing i am 100% certain about is like, i want them to have each other’s virginities?? because like, that’s both of their excuses for why they always end up back in the other’s bed when they don’t do repeats with anyone else? at least it’s eliana’s tbh?? bc i think like, when they were in high school, matthias more or less seduced eliana bc she was this perfect little princess who ran around in skirts and was always teasing everyone and he wanted a taste whoops and she went with it bc bad boy who was hot and like.. they had lil crushes that they wouldn’t admit to and still rly dont bc dUMB

everyone!!

so basically, the idea i was thinking of is that maybe perhaps we do move where this academy is located, and make it in manhattan?? because i do like the idea of them just being able to roam the city, and most of them are rich kids who are probably from the city - and the one exception (so far, unless you protest) is martin because i want the majority of them to have known each other for forever, really. like having grown up in similar social circles and ya know

out of the girls, i believe that eliana & adaline are the closest?? because i think like, one of the girls (maybe eliana) had their mom leave when they were pretty young, and the other had a dad who left too?? so their parents sort of ended up together, and it was when the girls were maybe four or five, so it was still to the point where they genuinely did grow up together? and i think like, when they have a secret, the other girl is the first one they turn to and talk to about it, because for them, they are truly sisters :$ so i think like, eliana knows about adaline’s miscarriage when basically no one else does and she’s really there for her with all of it, and the same goes for adaline knowing about eliana’s eating disorder :( like, it’s something she does her best to help because she’s talked to eliana about it enough to understand why she does it kshdkh

i sort of have the idea that brooke and malena are relatively close too? like i know that malena gravitates more towards brooke esp because of what happened with edmund/eliana because she doesn’t want to make adaline pick sides and i’m pretty sure that like she wants to punch eliana in the nose really because fuck her!! but i do think she gets along well with adaline, she’s just closer to brooke because they have more in common and ya know martin not liking edmund puts a damper on that bc no cute double dates rip

i don’t think martin particularly likes edmund? like, it’s sort of a early nate’s attitude towards dan scenario, where its just like who the fuck are u because here’s some guy who wasn’t a part of their circle growing up who’s somehow ended up in all of it and it’s just like k bye go away esp bc martin is very… moral and tends to get annoyed when the others do shit to people and like within the group it’s not rly a secret that edmund cheated on malena lIKE A FUCKBOY even tho i love edmund ill sit

obviously martin’s best friend is matthias? because in a way, they have very opposite temparaments and things?? like they’re very different, because martin is the responsible adult and matthias is a bit more ‘let’s go out and get drunk at a bar’ and having fun sort of guy, and martin is the one who more or less keeps him in check? like it’s very much the dynamic where they balance each other out, but at the end of the day, i think that they would do anything for each other??

i think august likes edmund?? like they’re probably pretty close out of all of the boys :) because like, yeah august doesn’t always agree with every decision edmund makes but he sort of is a bit of devil’s advocate and has defended him on enough occasions where it’s like ok i like u :* except not kissing bc they arent gay but u know!! like, i sort of envisioned august as being the sort to get into fights frequently because he’s a smartass and like edmund is a really good friend (in my mind pls) and he’s always there to kind of have his back and fight people off for him!!