#I’m in the train and quite bored because my airpods died

[schumi-nadal]

Rafa: You see the horizon over there?

Roger: Yes.

Rafa: That’s how far my love for you goes.

[princessofgayskull]

dude, I think Thor just wing-manned you

A Catradora gym au for the She Ra Pride Exchange! @spop-pride-exchange​

Summary: Catra just wanted to work out. Catra just wanted to bet the crap out of a punching bag before she had to teach yoga. She wasn’t expecting to come into the gym she worked at only to be nagged by her boss and then be approached by a strange dude who “supposedly” looks like Thor. And she doesn’t want to go out with his lesbian sister.

aka, when the God of Thunder/Lesbians is around, lightning strikes twice.

word count: 7.5k

read on ao3: x

dedicated to (and there was a little bit of a mixup so I’m just gonna go for it): @sweetlykissedadora​ - a lovely mutual, and @sweetlykissed just in case ;)

sfw, but warning for cursing

story under the cut!

“Ugh, Leon, you call that hit?”

“You call that keeping the fucking bag still, Ramon?” Whipping the stray curls catching the sweat on her face back, Catra bounced on her heels and curled her fingers deeper into the cotton tape coating her palms before throwing another punch. Her fist met hardened and coarse material, pain exploding in her knuckles and riveting down her arm as she threw another one with the other arm, and another, and another. Breathing in, she savored the rush despite the soreness settling into her shoulders and let herself fall into a pattern.

“Damn Catra, I’ve never seen you this sloppy.” Lonnie laughed as the punching bag rattled underneath her gloved grip. “You need to call it quits after twenty minutes?”

“You know for a personal trainer, you fucking suck.” Catra’s knuckles collided with swaying material ( keep the dumb thing still, Lonnie) again with a whap!

“I didn’t say I was your personal trainer, Leon.” she chuckled.

Catra rolled her eyes and stepped away from the bag, wiping the sweat from her forehead. Her form may have been sloppy today- not that she was going to admit that- but Lonnie’s salty insults were so much sloppier. Hands falling to her knees, Catra took advantage of her lazy taunts to catch her breath. “Doesn’t mean you get to screw with me- or is that just something you do with all your clients?”

“Well my clients sure as hell aren’t as sloppy as you. You look like an old lady who just tried to go up a flight of stairs. You need your walker, Catra?”

“Fuck you Lonnie.” Catra panted as her arms wobbled and her grip on her knees tightened. Okay, maybe she would admit- when no one was looking or listening or could perceive her in any way- that she was new to this. Never before in her life had she cared whether or not she could throw a “proper” punch, not when it landed whatever pervert or bigot or combo of the two was stalking her in the hospital with a broken and bloodied nose.

Catra was fine with her preferred methods of expunging all her pent up anger: running until she vomited or dancing until she tore something. Course’ her professional boxing roommate and her room mate’s MMA fighter to be didn’t give a flying fuck about that and after two years of listening to Scorpia and Lonnie critique her “strength work” Catra doubled down and hit the punching bag, literally, before she hit one of them.

Scorpia had been the only person Catra trusted to instruct her with all this punching crap, cause despite being the assistant manager at the gym and a personal trainer, Catra trusted Lonnie just about as far she could throw her. Plus Scorpia was a gentle giant, praised for her soft yet constructive teaching style; after years as a gymnast, Catra was so fucking down with abusive critique and was ready to try the opposite.

When Catra walked into The Horde, their gym, forty five minutes ago to squeeze in a short lesson with Scorpia before her class that evening, she was met with Lonnie stacking branded water bottles at the front desk and the news that Scorpia had to rush back to their apartment because Entrapta set it on fire, or flooded it, or something . Honestly Catra zoned out after that to whack her head on the front desk and send Lonnie’s precious water bottle tower tumbling down.

Wrapping her hands with her teeth and fishing in her bag for her bluetooth headphones (cause fuck airpods) , Catra walked over anyway to the worn down Everlast in the sketchier part of the gym, hellbent on beating it for a while to Halsey’s new song. She’d done this with Scorpia enough times to know how to hit a dumb leather bag by herself. Except Lonnie didn’t think so, ‘cause apparently she decided she had nothing better to do than to abandon her shift at the desk and come nag the hell out of Catra.

“I don’t need your help.” Catra sneered as the sharp, familiar pain in her lungs began to subside, using her shoulder to shove the massive bag into Lonnie just to catch her off her guard and off her footing. Course she had to dodge. That no fun bitch.

“Yeah, it doesn’t look like that.” Lonnie crossed her arms and clicked her tongue. “You sure Scorpia’s teaching you right? ‘Cause I’m starting to think she’s being too soft on you-”

“You tell her that then. She’s your girlfriend, not mine, Ramon.” Muscles straining in protest, Catra pushed herself off her knees and brought her fists back up. Ugh, how much longer was Lonnie gonna make her do this? At this rate she was gonna kill her arms before her class, which meant she’d have to strangle Lonnie with her fucking feet. Afterall, it was just as easy as using her hands. Because Catra was flexible like that.

“Look, your problem isn’t your speed, your arc is too wide- here, let me show you,” Coming around to Catra’s side, Lonnie put her arms up in position and just barely whisked Catra’s nose- “WATCH IT!”- as she made a sizeable indent in the punching bag.

“Get it?”

Catra rolled her eyes. No she did not get it. The only thing she got was how dumb this shit was. Really, she had to know how to throw a punch? None of these doofuses could even touch their toes, but Catra had to know the right way to hit something so she wasn’t the embarrassment of the gym? What a fucking scam. “Yeah, it’s much clearer now. You’re such a good teacher. Scorpia is such a lucky woman.”

“Just hit the damn bag, Princess Sarcasm.”

Wham!

It was a good four or five minutes of Catra bouncing back and forth on her feet and driving her fist at leather she imagined to be the ugly ass face a certain former bitchy gymnastic coach before Lonnie gave up drilling holes into her form with bored eyes and chimed in with more cryptic advice. “Wow you suck at this. Were you watching my demonstration?”

“Ugh,” Catra threw her sore hands up. “yes, I watched your ‘demonstration.’ Don’t give me that look! It’s not like I’m Kyle, okay? Flinging my arms around like some incel spaz? No! And you- you suck at training! Seriously, is there no one else in this dumb building who can ‘help’ me?”

“Nah, Rogelio is re-cleaning locker rooms cause Kyle ‘cleaned’ them yesterday, so you’re stuck with me. I can go get the incel spaz himself if you want-”

“No!” Catra blurted out way too damn loud, turning the attention of everyone working out to her. Damn it. “You sic’ing Kyle on me is worse than having to do this for another thirty minutes.” Or an hour. Or two. Or forever.

“Yeah, you’d probably just end up hitting him.” Lonnie nodded, grinning at the prospect of watching their co-worker get the crap beat out of him via Catra. Grabbing her water bottle from where it lay on the floor, Catra nodded as she took an extremely lady like gulp, letting the water that didn’t find her mouth travel down her neck and into her cleavage, enjoying the cool feeling as she reminisced about giving Kyle a black eye. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time she’d almost ripped him in half; failure to properly mop (seriously, what kind of fuckboy couldn’t even mop right?) the studio she was for a Zumba class she was subbing in for led to her falling less than spectacularly on her ass in front of a classroom of judgemental rich white woman; Not that those women would ever dare look at her wrong again after that class, ‘cause they all got the pleasure of watching Catra drag Kyle into the studio by his ear and then twist his limbs in ways only hers were practiced to bend. Rogelio was pissed. He stared her down after the class dispersed, all with vouchers for a free guest. No words were needed between them. All he had to do was glare at her as long as it took to send uncomfortable chills of guilt down Catra’s spine straight to her stomach.

So, Catra swallowed her pride, grumbled as she got some ice from the employee break room, and handed it to Kyle with a tight lipped apology (she never got one, by the way, for the giant pile of water her left for her to dance straight into) and it had abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do with the fact that Rogelio could use his leverage with Octavia to get her fired.

Thinking back to Rogelio’s massive overreaction to the last time she dared mess with Kyle, Catra blanched in the moment and full on choked on her water. “Please don’t tell Rogelio I called his boyfriend an incel spaz.” she said, coughing up water violently between words while Lonnie threw her head back and fuckinng cackled.

“As funny as that would be to watch, I need you working here ‘cause I don’t know anyone else who can teach chair yoga.” Lonnie leaned into the bag after her obnoxious as hell laughter finally died down.

Running her tongue over her teeth, Catra soaked in the vindication.  It wasn’t every day Lonnie could admit that Catra paid the bills at The Horde, ‘cause all anybody else could do was lift weights. Her skills were un-fucking-paralleled around here. “Speaking of chair yoga, how much fucking longer do I have punch this dumb bag ‘cause unlike you infelixable meatheads, I need every part of my body to teach-”

“Oh shit! There he is!” Lonnie didn’t just interrupt Catra’s super justified question, she did so by swinging the wholeass punching bag into Catra’s body.

“Fuck! What the hell Lonnie?”

Catra stumbled to get back on her feet as the bag creaked, swinging back and forth, but Lonnie didn’t give her the satisfaction of a response. She just kept staring off into the distance with eyes sparkling and her mouth slightly agape. Letting out a dramatic, yet still unheard sigh, Catra made a big display out waving her hand in front of Lonnie’s face and asking, “Uh, what are you staring at?”

“He’s back! That guy I was telling you about!” Lonnie snapped out of her stupor long enough to explain what the hell was going on. Catra followed her direct line of sight only to find herself staring at just another muscley guy lifting weights and breathing in that awful, inefficient way that made her want to puke her guts out. All these ‘My Body is a Temple idiots’ but they treat their lungs like shit? Ugh, gross. Shuddering at the sound of another heaved groaned, Catra turned away from the weight section as the clang! of the bar hitting metal hit her ears. God, this is why she had her headphones in all the fucking time in the land of Grunt Central Station.

Catra put on a bored stare (it wasn’t hard around these idiots.) “So?”

If Catra was being completely honest, when Lonnie talked she did everything in her power to drown her out, so she actually had no memory of talking about tall, blond, and average straining under his weights over on the opposite side of the gym. Lonnie just wanted to talk about gym stuff like schedules or memberships or how Catra was not supposed to be looking on the local shelter’s adoption site at cats.

Or she wanted to talk about Scorpia because that’s how people in relationships operated. But the Scorpia talk made Catra want to scream, vomit, and tear her god damn curls out all at once; as begrudgingly happy as she was forcing herself to be for her friend and co-worker, their dopey, sappy relationship was a walking, annoying reminder that no woman would ever love a BPD nightmare like Catra and that she was going to die angry and alone, like everybody said she would. Sue her for tuning her boss out and missing the story about this random and fascinating stranger who looked like everyone else in their gym. Seriously, minus the affront to God that was Kyle and the occasional twunks in her yoga classes, there was not a single man in this building that did not have the same basic, boring-ass physique.

“Don’t you think he looks like Thor?” Lonnie waved her hand toward the weights like she was imitating Kyle that one time he accidentally did coke.

Thor? What? What the fuck, how much of that dumb conversation did I miss?   “That depends, which one is Thor? God Lonnie, how many times to I have to tell you that I don’t give a fuck about the Avengers or the MCU or whatever it’s called!” Now that was a conversation Catra remembered, because they had had it a million times.

Lonnie and Scorpia were movie people; they loved to watch and marathon and discuss and dress up as characters. It was lucky they’d found each other, ‘cause Catra on the other hand, couldn’t care physically give a damn. She just couldn’t sit through them without almost dying of boredom. But since Lonnie and Scorpia started “going steady” as Scorpia so gag-inducingly put it, Lonnie would crash their apartment, kick Catra off the TV while criticizing her for watching only one thing ever (“I can’t help it if every TV show except Bob’s Burgers is moronic, okay?”) and put on some stupid movie.

If Catra could stomach it- the movie, the Scorpia and Lonnie, the Entrapta whispering notes in her phone like it was recorder, she would stay and watch, reveling in how her dumb comments pissed everyone else in the apartment off. Most of the time though she gave up before Scorpia finished burning popcorn in their microwave and went for a run/hang out with all the outdoor cats in their neighborhood. Lonnie and Scorpia, to gear up for that Endgame movie, had been streaming all twenty something gross Marvel movies for the past couple of weekends, so suffice to say Catra hadn’t spent a lot of time in her own freaking home. Catra couldn’t help it if she felt the need to be an asshole about the whole MCU thing; it was her TV and her living room too.  

“Thor is the one with the hammer. Blond hair, chiseled jaw, played by Chris Hemsworth? Jesus, Leon you been living under a rock?” Lonnie lifted a judgey eyebrow at her and Catra rolled her eyes so far back in her head they almost got stuck. Well I definitely haven’t been living in my own damn apartment with you around all the time!

“Don’t they all look like that and have some stupid weapon or something?” snorted Catra as she reveled in Lonnie’s frustrated expression. Served her right. Catra was talking to the same woman who called her a nerd for three weeks after she’d memorized all 84 asanas.

This time Lonnie got to have a grand eyeroll. “You watched Ragnarok with us! The third one?” Of what? “You said you liked actually liked it and weren’t just saying that to make Scorpia feel better.” When Catra just blinked at her, fully enjoying Lonnie’s frustration- that’s what you get for not letting me punch shit in peace- Lonnie threw her hands up. “It’s the Thor movie with Cate Blanchett. Remember? You wouldn’t shut up about how hot she was? God, that was annoying.”

“Oh please, it’s not like you weren’t right there agreeing with me or talking about how you wanted the girl with a sword to step on you.” Catra took another swig of her water.

“No, that was still you Catra.” Lonnie shot back, “You’re the one with that weird fantasy about women with swords.”

“They’re hot, Ramon! Fucking sue me!” Catra brushed the comment off as she threw her head back, her tied back curls bouncing off the damp skin of her neck, throwing her water bottle back down on the ground. At least Lonnie wasn’t still riding her ass about her form anymore (she could thank Thor over there for distracting the trainer) and Catra’s near dead arms could just hang limp at her sides. Ugh, tonight’s class was going to be a bitch.

“Tessa Thompson can get it, don’t get me wrong- uh! You got me off topic! Damn it, Thor got up. Where’d he go? Hey, what do you think he was benching?” Lonnie swung around the bag straight into Catra’s face trying to look around for where this mystery man might have gone off to. Probably the water fountain, duh. Or a shower. Lonnie wouldn’t follow him in there, would she? Nah, she’d just throw Rogelio in there while she made Catra clean all Thor’s gross smelly sweat off the equipment.

Catra scoffed and pushed Lonnie back. “Like I care what “Thor” was benching. And if you’re so interested in this guy, why don’t you just look him up in the system?”

“Ugh, I can’t do that! Octavia says it’s illegal or some shit.” Lonnie sighed, earning a bewildered what-the-fuck look from her co-worker. “Rogelio and I tried to look up this chick who looked like Brie Larson in the system. Octavia found out and said it’s some kind of violation of privacy, which I do not get cause this is a gym! There’s no privacy here! I literally watch people take off their shoes and socks on in the freaking lobby almost every day. Disgusting freaks.”

“Ugh, why would you bring that up?” Now Catra was really going to throw up now. Like projectile vomit, blow chunks straight onto Lonnie. That brings back memories of gymnastics.

“Damn it! I really wanted to get a picture with him and rub it in Kyle’s face that I met Chris Hemsworth! What, he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference!” Lonnie protested when Catra sent her a smug look and snorted again.

“Whatever, Lonnie, he’ll probably be back tomorrow because he’s obviously a basic dudebro with nothing better to do than stare at his muscles the mirror all day, so you can probably just save your groveling until then.” Catra stuck her tongue out, leaning in to turn the mockery up to 11, before a dangerous thought flashed in her mind. One about how much Lonnie gushed over 80’s action figure’s muscles, something she did not normally do unless that muscled specimen was her girlfriend.  “Ramon, you better not be going behind Scorpia’s back with this Thor douchebag,” Catra flashed her abnormally sharp incisors at the fitness trainer, “‘cause if you do anything to hurt her, I will fucking dismantle you in your damn sleep! I swear to fucking God you will wake up burning in insense and gasoline and tied up in every fucking yoga mat I can find-”

“Jesus, Catra!” Lonnie shouted, straight up pushing Catra into the bag as she went deeper and deeper off the crazy, neverending deep end of hers. “I’m not cheating on Scorpia! I just wanted a picture with the God of Lesbians, that’s all! Well, a false god ‘cause I don’t really think that was Chris Hemsworth. Guess I’m just gonna have to wait for our Comic Con roadtrip up to San Diego.”

“Lonnie, could you do me the amazing favor of standing here and then staying absolutely fucking still so I can hit you, instead of this emotionless sack of leather?” Lonnie’s dumb story about their Comic Con trip- like Catra needed anymore reminding of that- shut up anymore dangerous thoughts about cheating or affairs or exercise equipment that was flammable. On a second, more rational thought, Catra doubted Lonnie would be the kind of person to cheat. Yeah, she annoyed the crap out of Catra, but she took Scorpia as she was, something not a lot of people even tried, not because she pitied her or had some nasty ulterior motive, but because she legitimately enjoyed spending time with her. And like Catra, Lonnie hated pretty much everybody else.

Catra doubted she’d ever find something like Lonnie and Scorpia had. Lightening only struck once, and this time it struck two people that weren’t her. Well deserving people, but still, it fucking sucked. Ugh, she was gonna die alone. Her hypothetical cats were all gonna fucking eat her.

“Ugh, Leon, you’re no fun! Why can’t you appreciate how cool it is that a fake Thor is coming to our gym?”

“Because that’s literally the lamest sentence I’ve ever fucking heard and I am a bartender who has to teach yoga because I still can’t make my damn rent!” No longer were any of these gym rats allowed to give her shit about that when they were stalking celebrity look-a-likes in their free time.

The next time Lonnie or Rogelio or Octavia or Kyle, if that vaping asshole had a deathwish, brought up how she’s actually a giant softie ‘cause she liked doing yoga- something Scorpia recommended she start in place of therapy (none of them could afford it) after she the epic mental breakdown of the century her senior year of college and set Coach Weaver’s car on fire, as well as a bunch of other shit- she was going to bend herself into a flawless handstand, ask them if they’d stalked Chris Evans yet, and walk away, backwards, on her hands sticking her tongue out.

“Pfft, it’s not lame.” scoffed Lonnie. “You just don’t know how to have fun. Is there a yoga pose that will get that stick out of your ass?”

“Why, so I can shove it up yours? Seriously, how the hell is watching random people exercise fun?” Catra practically screamed, running her nails down her face like she was trying to claw all her skin off.

Lonnie crossed her arms and planted her feet, 100% committed to her stupid crusade at this point. “It’s not a random guy! I’m talking the fake God of Lesbians! That’s basically your whole religion, Catra! Hey, maybe he can help you get a girlfriend since you’re always bitching about being alone and all.”

“What?” Catra squealed with as much indignation as possible. How dare Lonnie bring up the harrowing fact that she was single and refused to mingle ‘cause that was fucking gross and picky as hell and also a nightmare of a human being “I don’t need anything from the crusty ass, dick for brains, piece of-”

“Uh, Hello?”

Shit!

Whirling around straight into Lonnie at the sound of an unfamiliar masculine voice, Catra tried to keep the fuck together when she realized who had audacity to approach her while her back was turned. Are you fucking kidding me? Tall, blond, and basic had decided to make a surprise appearance just to scare the shit out of her, sweat drenched towel draped over his moist Nike shirt and airpods in hand.

Catra did her best not to visibly gag; whether it was the musky smell (why did she work at a gym again?) or his pit stains about to make her barf water and stomach acid at his feet was completely lost on her. Despite the kind-of-sort-of friendly smile on his face and his relaxed posture, all Catra could do was stare at his extended hand like it was the deepest offense in the world.

“Hey, you’re Catra, right?”

“Uh-”

“Yeah, this is Catra.” When Catra turned her head to look at Lonnie, she was met with a traitorous smirk and devious eyes that said this is what you get for talking shit about the fake God of Lesbians! How dare you besmirch our lord and savior!? For a split second, Catra wondered if Fake Thor might enjoy watching her murder her boss in cold blood.

“I’m Adam.” Fake Thor introduced himself and once again, pushed his hand forward. Ballsy, considering the daggers Catra was staring into his empty skull. Oh, she could take this ‘Adam’ down in three fucking seconds; less, if he did what Catra thought he was about to do. Okay, what’s it going to be, Mr. Bimbo? You came over to ask me to come look at your collection of Dave Matthews vinyls in your Star Wars theme man cave or invite me to happy hour at a dirty TGI Friday’s? Ugh, these fucking meatheads are so predictable they take all the fun out of it.

Catra yawned and leaned back into her hips. “Okay?” At that moment she swore she heard Lonnie’s jaw drop. Oh, this? This was fucking sweet. Lonnie stalks him all day- possibly for longer than a week just to get a stupid picture with someone who wasn’t even who they thought he was- and he approaches Catra instead. Lonnie’s precious God of Lesbians picked a whole ass, different lesbian- to be a disgusting, horny man with, but still, Catra was going to be rubbing it in her dumb face that she got to turn fake Thor down, not any of these other lame idiots!

“You teach the yoga flow class right?” he flashed a perfect smile at her and Catra, miffed he wasn’t reading the do-not-fuck-with-me vibe she was oh so famous for, swallowed and showed him the canines in her own mouth. Why was he asking her about a class? There was no way ‘Adam’ had ever stretched into any warrior pose ever without pulling something. And Catra would have remembered him sauntering into the studio and knocking everything and everyone over with his giant, sweaty body.

“Yeah? Why do ask?” Catra glanced down at her fingernails. This was taking too long.

“Um, so I haven’t taken it,” yeah, that much was obvious, “but my twin sister has a couple times.” Adam- and Lonnie- perked up at the mention of his sister. Oh my God. That must be where this dull, useless conversation was going at a snail’s pace towards.

“She’s actually taken a couple of your classes, like restorative yoga and another one that escapes me, oof that’s embarrassing.” Everything, from the carefree movements of his shoulders to the wild gesturing of his hands, plus his chill tone, showed Catra that he was just gonna go ahead and act like they were close friends. What the hell is his game here? Catra wondered.

“Sorry about that. I don’t know if you know her, she usually stays in the back ‘cause she’s not very good and she has like, a perfectionist problem. And an anxiety problem. That’s why she’s taking yoga in the first place, you know, to be less high strung. Anyways, got a little off track there, but I wanted to tell you that she thinks you’re a really great teacher.” Adam broke his spiel off there with a wink.

What the HELL does that mean? Catra curled her fingers into tight fists. To keep from indenting Adam’s perfect jawline or to indent Adam’s jawline, she had no fucking idea.

While she was trying to keep her own sneaker out of this strange guy’s ass, Catra tried to think back to her classes the past few weeks ad searched her memory for a woman that looked like him. A blonde, young woman in the back. There was no way, Adam was fucking with her. Catra definitely remembered blue eyes that deep and the kindest smile that made her forget that the world was a fucking cruel and intent on killing her.

Adam, hellbent on screwing with her more, then way to casually added, “She talks about you a lot, whenever she gets out of class. I think she kinda has thing for you.”

Of course Lonnie- who was still just standing there for some reason- just had to burst out laughing and then scramble to turn that noise into a cough before a) Adam and his flawless eyebrows suspected anything, and b) Catra kicked her in the shin and earned a disappointed lecture from Scorpia for hurting her “Lonnie-Boo.”

“Anyways…” Adam continued, narrowing those baby blue eyes of his before relaxing into that annoyingly cordial posture, “I overheard you guys mentioning you were lesbians? I mean, I wasn’t eavesdropping but-”

“We were just being loud, we get it a lot.” Uh, no we don’t! This is fucking weird! Catra indulged her panicked thoughts as Lonnie cut Adam off. Then, to take things to an even weirder level, Lonnie leaned her way and whispered “Oh my God, Catra, he is the God of Lesbians.”

“Well, Adora- my sister- she’s also a lesbian. And- and she’s single.” Catra sunk her teeth into her bottom lip. How were Lonnie and Adam both looking at her with the same eager as fuck expression? And how could she knock both of them unconscious at the same time? And god fucking damn it! Why couldn’t Catra remember this angelic, goddess, gay twin of his?

“She had a friend emergency today, but she usually works out the same time as me. She’ll be here tomorrow.”

Lonnie just had to speak up, she just had too. Because the universe hated Catra and took every opportunity to make her life shitty. “Oh? I think Catra will be here the same time tomorrow too.”

What. The. Actual. FUCK?!!?

“Awesome!” Adam gave a little fist pump. “I gotta go, but it was nice meeting you, Catra. And uh, you too.” He finger gunned in Lonnie’s direction as he pirouetted on his sneakers, walking backwards towards the exist. Mouths agape, Catra and Lonnie watched him stick his airpods back in and jog out the sliding doors, like this was just another normal day at The Horde.  

The fake God of Lesbians left behind the most fucking awkward silence between Catra and her boss/improtu and unwanted personal trainer. They must’ve stood there in disbelief for at least three minutes, the only sounds of people working out behind them Catra wanted to speak- she really did before Lonnie started talking some serious bullshit- but no matter how many she played recent events in her head could Catra come up with anything to say other than "Uh, what the fuck just happened?”

“Dude,” Lonnie smacked her arm and cackled, “I think Those just wingmanned you!”

~

“So are you gonna do it?”

“Uh, do what?”

“Work out with the the God of Lesbian’s gay twin sister?”

“Leave me alone, Lonnie.” Catra whined into her hands.

“Woah, woah, woah, wait- the God of Lesbians? You mean Thor? He doesn’t have a twin sister.” Scorpia interjected. Ugh, when did she get here? “I mean, recently in the comic books the mantle of Thor has been given to a woman, but I don’t think Marvel has confirmed her sexuality.”

Fuck me. Catra couldn’t even get a moments peace after her studio class that her co-workers always seemed to forget included her bending over a fucking chair in multiple, unnatural ways for a whole hour. Probably because none of these asshats could do it or even bothered to try. Legs pulsing with pain, she slammed her yoga mat down on the Welcome Center desk and stole Rogelio’s empty chair five minutes after she dismissed everyone in her class.

Rogelio could stare her down all he wanted when he got back, Catra didn’t care at this point. She just wanted to fucking rest before she had to get her aching body out of the chair and go work the closing shift serving alcohol she couldn’t even drink (dumb stabilizing meds) at Erelandia but Lonnie was, apparently, not going to drop this whole idiotic Thor-thing. Didn’t help that Catra’s brain hadn’t dropped the topic either; she was completely spaced out trying to teach, too busy scanning the attendees for a familiar hot blonde.

It also didn’t help that Scorpia was also here, probably to pick up her loud mouth girlfriend.

As Catra moaned into her hands again, she heard a fucking weasel pop out of nowhere and loudly insist “They didn’t make Thor a woman!”

“Uh, yeah they did, Kyle.” Lonnie countered back without missing a beat. Catra looked up only to open her eyes to the horrifying sight that not only had Kyle shown up, but Rogelio was there too nodding in agreement with Scorpia and Lonnie. Great. Now everyone was here.

Channeling his inner asshole, Kyle demanded to know “How would they even do that?”

“She was given the hammer, Kyle!” Scorpia said, like it was obvious. “Whoever holds melnor, mielnar, mjiler-”

“Take your time, babe.” Lonnie rubbed her girlfriends arm as her face scrunched up trying to pronounce whatever stupid name Thor’s hammer. Just to show what she thought of the whole conversation, Catra let out a long, and loud, dramatic sigh.

“Millie…your?”

“No you guys,” Oh so now Lonnie was going to elaborate. “not the real Thor!”

“Melanin?”

“Uh, duh, he’s not real.”

“Shut the fuck up Kyle.”

“Melon baller?”

“I’m talking about that guy who looks like Thor. You know the one that’s been coming to our gym for awhile?” Lonnie clarifications sent a ripple of “ohhhhs” through the group. “Turns out his name is Adam, and he has a twin sister! He wants to set Catra up!”

A sudden force over took Catra and almost threw her out of the chair the second Lonnie finally shut her blabbermouth. One minute Catra was fine, she was relaxed if not irritated with her choice of friends, the next minute she was being suffocated by Scorpia’s giant mutant arms. “Oh Catra, this is amazing news!”

“GET…offme!”

Scorpia ignored the squealing and squirming, taking the obnoxious show of friendship up an unnecessary notch by rocking her limp body back and forth. “You have finally have someone to go out with! And she’s probably hot if she’s related to Thor!”

“Fake Thor.” coughed Lonnie as a reminder.

“We can finally go on double dates-”

“Auggh!” Catra twisted Scorpia’s arm over her, “I’m not going out with Not Thor’s gay sister!”

Scorpia’s face fell into that pout that always made Catra feel like she’d punched in the stomach. “What- why not?”

“‘Cause she’s not real, duh! ” Catra threw her hands up, her curls flying everywhere around her head like a crazed halo. Look, Catra understood that she was suspicious to the point of like, actual paranoia, and that it just came with her brand of crazy, but she also knew when someone was flat out manipulating her, i.e. lying straight to her face. She’d only dealt with it her entire gymnastics career.

Adam didn’t show picture and only said his sister’s name once. Catra, whose studio was full of wall to wall mirrors that allowed her to seeeverything, would’ve remembered a stunning lesbian copy of him. This was bullshit, is what it was.

“What’s her name again?” from across the desk, Kyle asked with piqued interest.

“Adora, or some other obviously made up name.” Catra rolled her eyes so far back in her head it hurt, “God, he didn’t even try-”

“Found her.”

“WHAT?” In a quick and graceful blur, Catra, Lonnie, and Scorpia rushed over to the other end of the desk were Rogelio was bunched over Kyle typing into the computer.

“Yeah, Adora Smith.” Kyle shrugged, pointing to the monitor where Adam’s sister’s information was pulled up in their membership database. “It looks like she mostly comes as a guest with Adam for the past few weeks- huh, Adam’s last name is Walker, what do you guys think that’s about? Oh, here’s her picture.”

Kyle didn’t have to gesture to the screen. Catra was already staring. Fuck, she’s gorgeous. And so his twin. Piercing blue eyes, blonde ponytail, amazing flawless skin. Stunning, warm smile that almost Catra melt right into a puddle right then and there. Pull it together, Leon! Try not to act like you’d throw all these people under an actual bus just to get to know her.

“Not my type, but she’s pretty.” commented Lonnie.

Pretty? She’s the reason faces were invented, you idiot!

“Well, that’s relief-”

“Oh my God, shut up Scorpia, I remember her!” throwing her hand back, Catra’s hand met Scorpia’s boobs- Catra was aiming for her mouth, wasn’t her fault her room mate was 6’2”- and pushed Kyle out of the seat and onto the floor, making Rogelio squeal in horror. “Remember, Adam said she was taking some of my classes but that’s why I thought it was total bull, ‘cause of course I would have remembered her!”

Catra gestured wildly as Scorpia and Lonnie raised their eyebrows in tandem. “But Adam was right, she was in the back and I remember ‘cause she kept needing extra help. She was like a baby penguin trying to learn how to walk! Like she fell on her fucking face, twice. It was awesome!”

“Well it sounds like she made an impression.” Lonnie smirked and Scorpia didn’t even wait a beat to pile on.

“Yeah, Catra! Dumb blondes, that’s totally your type! You should go out with her! Hey, I bet she needs some one on one help.”

“Not gonna happen.” throwing up her defenses without a second thought, Catra hissed back at her friends.

“‘Cause you’re a chicken?” Lonnie raised her eyebrow, just asking to be decked in the jaw. What a perfect opportunity to see if Catra’s training had come through.

“No, ‘cause-” I’m unstable. I’m fucking insane, medically speaking. I’m good at like, one thing. And, oh don’t forget, I’m completely, totally unlovable. “Uh, whatever, you guys probably don’t even care,” she muttered the last part under her breath, just in case Scorpia heard and made a big deal out of proving her wrong.  

“Okay well, I’m gonna need you to come in around three tomorrow. Kyle’s calling in sick with mono again, that dumbass.” Lonnie sighed, leaning onto the desk.

“I am? I’m what?” blubbered Kyle as Rogelio pulled him off the floor.

Three? That’s around the time I came in today- ARE YOU SHITTING ME? “Seriously? Fuck you, Lonnie!”

“Melvin-jorge. That’s it!”

~

“I cannot believe you, Adam!”

After dragging her ass to the gym at exactly three p.m- because she fully believed Lonnie would have her fired and banned from the building if she didn’t at least strike up some form of conversation with this girl- Catra was trying her best not to think about twins or Thor or whatever disaster was about to go down as she halfassed wiped down equipment when she heard Adora walk in. At least she assumed it was Adora; she wasn’t sure who else would yelling Adam’s name randomly with like, that much annoyance.

“Oh c’mon, don’t be like that Adora!”

Oh, so it was Adora. Having a full on argument with her twin brother in the middle of their gym. Catra resisted the tormenting desire to turn around and forced her focus to the wipes crumpling in her hand as she ran them down leather seat of their ergometer. Don’t, don’t, don’t don’t you fucking turn around and stare like a creep Catra Maria Leon!

“We’ve talked about this,” wow, she sounds pissed. That’s hot. “You can’t go around setting me up with random woman you think is gay! Not every girl at a gym is gay, Adam!”

Having to literally sink her teeth into her tongue, Catra stifled a laugh. So Adora was upset about this whole thing too? Guess they had that in common.

“Catra is a lesbian! She was yelling about it with her trainer!” Adam insisted.

This is what I get for not keeping my fucking mouth shut. At least he didn’t bring up how we called him Thor and Fake Thor over and over and over again.

“Plus, you have a thing for her Adora. I know because you wouldn’t shut up about how  pretty and smoking hot she was and how she smells like cinnamon! That’s way too much detail for me!”

The more Adam described how Adora had described her, the more Catra’s face was overcome with a tingling heat that spread from her face, to her neck, to her chest. Still, she refused to turn around. Even if she dying, dying to see the look on Adora’s face.

“By the way, how many times did you fall in class? Like seven times? Klutz.”

Adora scoff echoed all through the gym. “I’m not the klutz, you’re the klutz! And by the way, I didn’t fall on accident, my balance is impeccable! Coach Hordak once made me bounce a soccer ball on my head for a mile! And, get this, I did it for two! That’s how good my balance is!”

She was falling… on purpose?

“Did that man ever let you sleep?”

“No, he didn’t, and you know what, I’m not gonna let you sleep either after this! And you are so uninvited to Best Friend Squad Netflix nights!” Catra heard a whack! and Adam yelp.

“Glimmer will invite me back! And you have to get back out there, Adora! It’s been, what, like a year and a half since you and Serenia broke up?”

This time, Catra let herself turn around. Okay, she moved her neck to the side like three inches. Part of her was curious to see if they’d seen her. The other part of her just wanted to stare in wonder at Adora for pretty much the rest of her life.

“Ugh, don’t bring that up, this is not about that!” With every word Adora yelled at her twin, Catra came closer to making that 180 that would allow her to see the two of them. And for them to see her. “This about you being weird and just going up to random people to see if they wanna go out with me!”

“Look she’s right over there, why don’t you just go talk to her? Because I don’t think your face can take much more damage from you falling down in yoga , Adora.” Damn, Adam. Maybe I should introduce you to Lonnie ‘cause you’d be great friends. I kinda wanna be friends, what the hell?

At this point, Catra didn’t know what else to do with her body but stand there with her hip cocked and her arms crossed, an amused smirk on her face. Didn’t matter that her neck and chest were still on fire and her heart was beating like she’d just run a fucking mile.

Adora looked away from her brother, only to catch Catra’s waiting eyes, and given the way she squeaked, threw her hands in her face, and walked/tumbled back towards her brother, Catra maybe got the vibe she wasn’t expecting her to be literally right there.

“Hey, Adora.” Catra gave a little sultry wave, the corner of her mouth upturned, unsure of what the hell had just come over her. Seriously, was she fucking possessed? Or was Adora just so freaking cute and so much better in person that she could ever imagine and was maybe, maybe worth taking a chance on? Also, the chance to embarrass her just to see her face turn red was something Catra couldn’t resist .

A panicked whine slipped from Adora’s lips as she bumped into Adam’s shoulder. “I hate you, I hate you, and I wish we’d stayed separated.”

“Yeah, yeah, hate you too. Now go get her chief.” Catra didn’t see what happened next coming. But she should have, given that mischievous sparkles Adam got in his eyes. The next thing she knew, Adora was shrieking, Catra blinked, and then fell to the ground as a body slammed into her. Holy shit! Catra’s teeth caught her tongue as she hit concrete hard, pain exploding through her sore body. What the FUCK just happened?

When Catra opened her eyes, a nasty cocktail of shock and pain paralyzing her muscles from making any kind of move, she looked down to find Adora exactly in her lap, muttering “Ow, my ass.”

“Uh…”

Adora’s own shocking blue eyes flew open and in them, Catra could see the exact second she put everything together in that pretty little head of hers. “Oh, oh! I’m sorry, I- that was, ah man.” she scrambled away, out of Catra’s lap- hey, wait!- and let out another embarrassed whine.

Lifting her head up to glare at the ceiling, Adora whispered, “I hate you Adam.” before taking a deep breath. “I- hi, I’m, um, Adora.” she stuttered, blush overtaking her pale skin. Catra smiled. Oh, she was cute.

“Catra.”

“Yeah, I know I’ve been taking your classes- I, uh” Adora’s closed her mouth and fiddled with her fingers as she bit back a smile. A really beautiful smile. “I’m sorry, I’m really bad at this.”

Snorting, Catra added. “Trust me, you’re not the only one who’s totally out of her comfort zone right now.”

“Do you wanna just work out? Like together?” she asked, bright smile still on her face. Getting up on one knee, Adora extended a hand.

“Yes!” Catra replied way too quickly, having to slap on a less desperate as fuck approach, “I mean, yeah I’d like that.”

As Adora led her to the treadmills, Catra heard Adam claim in victory, “Yes! My work here is done. Oh man, where did my airpods go?”

Catra stifled a laugh. Some God of Lesbians/thunder. Hmm, thunder right and storms and shit? Catra thought to herself as Adora started going on about how annoying and intrusive Adam could just generally be, maybe with him around, lightning can strike the same place twice.

Thank you so much for reading! I hoped you enjoyed it Lily! Likes and REBLOGS are always appreciated!

and once again, thank you to those you organized this event! Happy Pride!