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cloveroctobers · 4 months ago

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DANTE TORRES | FOLDER TWO: SLIPPIN’

A/N: Not me keeping a story going! Is this going to give, *Sidney’s voice*, “Don’t f-ck with the original!” Or what? I haven’t done chapters or books since my wattpad era �� Guess you have Dante to thank for that! If you’re just tuning in, hope you’re somewhere comfy and you can start here.

S/N: premiere night gave what it needed to give! I’m enjoying learning more about Kiana, she’s cool in my book! I’m most interested in seeing the one Chicago crossover episode—which may or may not inspire some more content…who knows as of right now? I also originally had no plans of writing something new until February but consider this a new year’s gift? 🩵

WARNINGS: Doing what I do best! delivering angst, lots of dialogue in this one, kinda lengthy, most likely language, talks of health risk, revisiting the past, and some reconciliation?

<- need a refresher? Read the previous piece here.

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Seraphina stands in front of the window, fingertips kept warm with a cup of tea as she zoned out on the view of Kansas City. A town that just felt temporary, a place where she would solely be a visitor passing through without leaving any marks behind. It’s been six months since she decided to take a leap and move to Jersey City to begin again. Unbeknownst to her she wouldn’t realize that her time elsewhere would possibly be short lived, receiving a disturbing call that brought her back to the Midwest.

She feels her phone buzz in her back pocket, breaking her out of her gaze from the pelts of rain that flicked against the glass. Blinking Seraphina pulls her phone to see a text from Manny, checking where she’s at and if she’s okay, which lets her know that she’s been on her walk for a while now. The woman lets out a soft exhale, quickly typing out a reply that she’s on her way back now. Yet she stands at the window for a minute longer, dreading the fact that she’s even here and that this will be another mountain to climb.

Sipping at the herbal tea, which warms her, she takes that as a step of courage before she turns, somewhat prepared to continue to get through this and of course be supportive to the man who always had a interesting way to teach her about love.

If one could call it that.

There’s a heat that appears in her throat at the thought that isn’t granted from the tea but she fights against it. Seraphina is aware that now isn’t the time to be selfish about the past, since she’s come a long way in this relationship. Once her eyes lift and connect with familar spring green’s, her breathing gets caught in her throat at the sight of the man.

She speaks first, “Dante?”

They’re both frozen in place in the eerie hallway, his hands are in his pockets and he almost appears like a deer in headlights, removing one hand from his pocket to rub at the back of his neck but manages to breathe out, “Hey, Nina.”

It’s that normal quiet tone of his voice that almost feels like a whisper, which somehow makes her feel like all will be fine against the sudden chill that whips from the back of Seraphina’s frame. Dante can see her shudder, whether it’s from his presence or the mere fact that she’s here in a hospital, he’s not quite sure.

He’s the first to move and Seraphina allows him to come to her. He still gives her some space but he’s close enough to see that her hair is different, much different, shorter and a light brown—almost caramel—compared to her usual dark hair, that she stopped letting grow too long awhile ago, becoming tired of having to tend to so much hair especially working as a chemist. Dante can also see beneath her beauty that there’s worry right in between her brows, she’s always had the best poker face but he can only imagine what she’s holding onto when no one’s watching.

“You changed your hair,” Dante points out, a small smile playing on his lips as he attempts to keep things light.

Seraphina begins to breathe normally, “I did. You like it?”

She’s not sure why she’s asking, she’s never been one to dwell on anyone’s opinions on what she did—except for her father and her old best friend.

The ones that seemed to matter the most.

Dante’s nodding, his eyes moved from her new hair to her face, “It suits you well.”

“Thank you,” she dips her head playing with the lid of the cup, making Dante quickly run his eyes over her fingers, purposely ignoring her nails on a particular hand, yet still wondered what else might have changed in these agonizing months before she tosses in, “…Got any new tattoos I need to know about?”

He laughs a little as he teases, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

The brings a smile to her face as she shrugs her shoulders but says nothing more. They would meet each other’s eyes again before one chose to break it and stare over the other’s shoulder instead. It was tense being face to face after all this time but the two have been through enough storms together to weather it.

“So what brings you to Kansas City?” Seraphina questions, assuming that it must be a case.

Dante moves his hands back into his pockets, “I um…your mom called my ma and told her what’s happening. My ma said a prayer for her—not just her but your family. Then she told me.”

Her throat feels thick at the new information. She hasn’t spoken to Dante at all since she got everything set up in Jersey City before taking her official leave. He was in denial that she actually wanted to leave until he started noticing moving trucks and boxes some time later. After Seraphina found out about the passing of Gloria, she decided that letting go of their friendship might be their best option to move forward in life, they went almost two weeks without speaking after their debate in her bedroom but Dante cracked first.

He apologized and begged her to stay, to not leave him but once Seraphina’s mind was made up, it was almost impossible to change it. Dante had to accept it and it added another mountain of grief he had to deal with on his own. He would call and text just not to receive any response, only to learn that Seraphina was still talking to his mother every so often, which definitely made him want to crash out multiple times.

That was a difficult time and he learned what space really means and from the one person that he never wanted out of his life, was a tough one to swallow. And now he was here.

“You drove all this way for—

“You.” Dante’s response is instant and it makes Seraphina let out a deep breath, “I’m sorry if I’m doing too much but I figured through all of this…you would want someone else here in your corner.”

Dante and Seraphina’s father never had the best relationship. Sure the pair became friends at a young age which was once full of playfulness, bright futures, and adventure before it all quickly changed for the worst. Mr. Coty was big on image and believes that who you surround yourself with said a lot about you and once he realized what Dante’s stepfather was like, he only assumed the worst for Dante. Instead of providing guidance, he brought on preconceived notions of what Dante could be.

He started acting different towards the young boy and once Dante started getting involved with that gang, Seraphina brought home those pills, and Dante beat his step-father so bad that his injuries were unspeakable, Mr. Coty began to despise a young Dante Torres. Years later Dante was here while the older man was at a high risk of declining but Dante could honestly say he wasn’t really here for him—but he would keep that to himself.

“…just tell me what you need from me?” He says after his old friend most likely has so much on her mind that she may not know what to say.

Seraphina’s eyes shine with a number of emotions, for one Dante was here after she went completely cold turkey on him. She set a boundary yet at the same time she still had a piece of him because she didn’t feel right completely cutting momma Catalina off as well. After all Dante had the woman’s first name, “Laura,” tatted on his forearm as a means of always having her near. He wanted to be angry and maybe he was that his mother still had Seraphina around and he was out of luck. Momma Catalina would push just a little until Seraphina had to be firm with her decision to her second mother figure. If you asked Seraphina six months ago what she needed from Dante, her answer would be much different.

Her dark eyes meet his and she finds that he still cares. It was heart warming to witness, honorable even and she wouldn’t forget it. He showed up for her when he didn’t have to and that meant something.

The doors behind Dante flap open, revealing a bearded Manny who looks up from his phone, doing a double take himself. Seraphina catches his questionable eyes first, making Dante the last to peer over his shoulder. Manny gives a single wave but it’s not a beaming smile attached to the usual expression where his eyes crinkle at the corners.

Dante honestly didn’t think the guy would still be in the picture. He did his best to keep his attention on his cases but he couldn’t help but to crack every now and then to get any bit of information he could on Seraphina’s new life now. He already knew that Seán, the still going strong engaged lawyer and good friend of Seraphina’s was now collecting the rent on her property for her so she wouldn’t have to constantly make trips back to Chicago. Dante only wondered if they were on better terms, if he would have been the one tasked with this instead.

There were a bunch of what if’s circulating and it only amplified now, seeing Manny Castillo being here for his Nina instead. Seraphina watched Dante’s jaw tighten at the sight of Manny before he turned back to face her. His eyes quickly shifted back to over her shoulder, rubbing at his jaw in irritation.

A pang of jealousy swirls within his frame because it felt like he was replaced.

“Hey,” Seraphina gently says making his heated stare meet her’s but it softens some, “Thanks for coming when you didn’t have to. It means more than you know, Tay.”

Dante gives a sharp nod.

The short haired woman takes another breath. Something she’s been doing a lot more since she’s been back in the Midwest. Seraphina closes the space between the two, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and wrapping one arm over his shoulder, waiting for him to hug her back. The tension seems to erase with Seraphina pressed against him, his hands go right to the small of her back, squeezing her as if she’ll slip right through his fingers again.

It’s Manny’s turn to bring his gaze elsewhere. He pinched at his nose but gives the two their moment after seeing Seraphina close her eyes in Dante’s embrace. The hug is over much quicker than Dante would have liked but she touches his face tenderly, offering him an appreciative smile before she walks away from him once more.

Dante is determined to make sure that it’s not out of his life. Six months was more than enough and the time prior, he knew that this isn’t going to work for him. They made promises to each other and sure they were much younger then but devotion wasn’t like dust in the wind.

This relationship couldn’t be swept away.

And Dante was going to show her exactly that.

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Dante had no intent of staying in Kansas City for a lengthy time, it was a spur of the moment action in all honesty. One that Voight could tell it was something Dante needed to take care of so he let it slide for now. Would a weekend be enough to get back on track if the childhood friends could? Part of him knows the focus should be on Seraphina’s father, which he didn’t get the chance to talk to her about before Manny came and whisked her away. He wouldn’t push it but it was most definitely on his mind as he sat alone in the hotel room.

He’s already spoken to his ma, who wanted all of the details but there truthfully wasn’t much to say, which meant he did more listening to the woman than what he revealed. Dante didn’t want to apply too much pressure given the unknown circumstance with Mr. Coty’s health but he would be damned if he left here without trying.

Dante’s stared at her contact name for some time until it appears across his screen on its own, spinning along the top of his phone. He takes time answering it, not wanting to appear too eager that the woman took him off block but hearing her voice may just ease his anxieties. She apologizes about it being so late calling him, informing him that she’s staying the night with her father but asked if Dante would be interested in meeting up in the morning at union station to mainly clear the air, which Dante agreed to.

He just didn’t expect union station to be as huge as it was, something he should have researched before he finally fell into slumber, instead of one hour before the meet up time. (the pictures did it no justice) However with his skills Dante was positive it wouldn’t take him long to find her in the detailed building. The high ceilings made Dante feel almost like a child and the intricate chandeliers were pleasant enough to lead the way as he found his way through to the mentioned coffee shop.

Seraphina had just beat him, taking a seat at the circular table, setting her iced coffee and flaky pastry of choice on the table before checking her phone and using both of her hands to massage at her neck. Soon Dante is making his way over to her, heart thudding in his chest. He tells her not to get up, kissing her cheek in greeting before she tells him he should order something inside before the rush starts.

“Iced mocha?” Dante quizzes as he pushes himself closer to the table.

Seraphina nods before lifting her chin at his hot beverage, “Boring cappuccino?”

He scoffs as he takes a sip at his creamy espresso, “Don’t be a hater so early in the morning, Nina. It’s not a good look.”

She playfully glares at him before she sits back against the chair, eyes deciding to people watch.

“Manny didn’t want to attend this meet up?” He slides that in, voice gentle but there was a hint of bite in it that she would obviously pick up on as he peered over at the woman underneath his eyelashes.

There’s a spec of amusement in Seraphina’s eyes, “No. if you must know, he brought my mom back up to the hospital to stay with my dad and he’s working from my parents’ house.”

“Good for him,” Dante mumbles sarcastically.

She shakes her head at him, “This isn’t necessary you know? He’s a good guy.”

“He better be.” Dante informs while Seraphina tilts her head at him in warning, “Just because I’m not around like I would like to be, doesn’t mean I’ll let anyone get away with treating you less than you deserve.”

She stares at him then, finding his words to be genuine. They’ve been around each other enough to know when their protectiveness was warranted. It was nice to see that this was still true.

“Well…you don’t have to worry about Manny in that department.” Seraphina defends.

“Good.”

“Do you want this entire conversation to be about him…because I can tell you more about him if you like?”

Dante’s quick with it, “I’d rather sit on the train tracks while waiting for a train to come by.”

“…That’s dark.”

A crooked smile plays on his lips, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, not if you mean it.” Seraphina answers, “…Is it bothering you that much?”

“That you’ve moved on without me?” Dante asks, pushing his lips out in thought, “I just…don’t want you to forget me. These six months have been less than great without you, Nina. It’s not something I really got used to. I even thought about driving to the east coast.”

She presses her elbows onto the table, resting her cheek against her clasped hands, “I think you’d like Jersey city. At least the blending in part.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s not Vancouver but I feel optimistic there…at least for now.” Seraphina admits, reaching for her drink.

‘You should visit someday,’ part of her thinks this but she keeps it only as a thought.

Dante watches her for a moment, taking in her words and how she still thought of him. Perhaps it wasn’t all the time like he often did with her but it brought him comfort to know that she hadn’t forgotten him despite her cutting him off. There were plenty of talks between the once young teens when they snuck into each other’s rooms to lay side by side, staring up at one another’s ceilings as they talked about the future, talked about seeing the world together or even a piece of it that didn’t cut like chicago did.

Back then that was just talks but now Seraphina was taking that step…except Dante was behind her instead of beside her in their adulthood.

“Are you in a house?” Dante keeps the conversation casual, having a feeling that it wouldn’t remain this way.

Seraphina tells, “Back to condo living for me. It just doesn’t make sense for me to get back into buying something when I’m not sure JC is going to be my forever home.”

Dante perks up at this.

“I mean I’ve seen Indiana, KC, Rhode Island, Philly, JC, and of course Chicago—which absolutely is the best city in the world,” she teased with a roll of her eyes which makes Dante grin, “I just don’t want to be stuck anymore, ya know?”

Dante can understand that. He’s spent years growing up beside Seraphina but he’s suddenly starting to realize, being left behind by the person he loved dearly, hurt more than he thought it would.

“Was I…part of what made you feel that way?”

Seraphina swallows, “I can’t say that’s fully on you. I made the choice to keep fighting for more from you when you’ve told me countless of times you couldn’t give me that. You didn’t want that. So part of that is my fault so I won’t solely put the blame on you…I can see that now. It took me leaving to process that, Tay.”

Dante blinks in that way which lets the woman know that he has a lot on his mind too. Something she said in this revelation has him slightly spinning, “It’s not that I didn’t want you. It’s just that I knew I had the potential to hurt you more and I know you didn’t deserve that but I ended up doing it anyway.”

Seraphina deeply inhaled and exhaled, “But don’t you think I should be the one that gets to have a say too? I was willing, I’ve seen you at your worst and your best. Shit, your demons are basically buddies with mine and I still chose to love you. Any chance I took it there, you slipped away, it was only on your terms and it just wasn’t fair.”

“Fair?” Dante pressed his elbows into the table, “What isn’t fair is everything that we’ve been through? Getting shot at, me constantly coming to you to clean me up, the drugs, the accident…me going to juvi? The cards told us all that we needed to know. We wouldn’t make it, Nina. Somewhere if we tried…who knows where our futures would be? It wouldn’t be normal. It would always be something else that ruins us.”

Seraphina chews on her bottom lip, looking away from Dante as he spoke his truth. It really stung to know that he thought so little of the two, of what could be. This was part of his demons, of letting circumstances get in his head. Any time the word future was mentioned, Seraphina automatically thought of her ill father. She went to war with that man over Dante, he would tear him down right in front of her whether Dante was in their home or not. Nonetheless Dante never wanted to be seen as the victim, although he’s never had it easy, he still chose to fight and prove himself.

Why couldn’t he keep that same energy with Seraphina?

When it came to love past the platonic, it only felt like defeat. He was anchored in the past and it was no secret to her, never has been.

“So…now that this friendship is on pause…do you still feel that way? Ruined?” Her words stun Dante as she spun it back on him.

Dante didn’t think it was a vindictive move since there were many factors as to why Seraphina made her big move. She was always the type of person to dance to her own drum, much like Dante who had his impulsive moments but he wasn’t sure how to take this.

“Was that part of the plan?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why say that to me?”

“I’m trying to prove a point,” Seraphina sighs, “You didn’t want to try romance because of fear but we tried friendship, your way and I’m the one who put distance between us. You said it hasn’t been easy and newsflash, it hasn’t for me either but I’ve coped. Learned how to exist without you.”

Dante feels his brows furrow. The woman before him was not entirely the same, she was stronger and harder to reach.

“And I’m sure Manny helped with that.” He finds himself snapping unintentionally.

Seraphina laughs in disbelief, hands going up in the air, “Oh this again! That demon is coming out to play huh? You don’t get to do that. Every small chance that I’ve tried to move on, you’ve had a problem with, when it always could have been you, should have been, you could have solved that but you let your insecurities get in the way.”

Dante lifts his shoulders not denying it, “I can’t help it. I’ve always wanted you to be happy but you and I both know they’re not worth your time.”

“…and why’s that?”

Dante blows out a breath, letting his back hit the chair, “Because we belong together…probably in every lifetime but I failed this one by giving my love to someone else.”

Seraphina felt like her heartbeat was in her stomach at Dante’s vulnerability. She didn’t think this conversation would be a walk in the park by any means but she also didn’t expect Dante to say this.

“Now you say that?” Seraphina managed to get out around shaky breath, “And I’m just supposed to accept this after all this time?”

Dante shakes his head, “I’m not asking you to be okay with this. You’re my person too, always will be. I’ve been to hell and back with you…I just can’t let you go anymore. It wouldn’t be right.”

“For who? You?” She fired off.

Dante argued, “Mi ma told me at the beginning, every other week that you called her, you cried over me.”

“It wasn’t just you.” Seraphina hissed, “Sure you were a big part of it but starting over by myself is terrifying but I did it. Just like I kept picking myself up every time you rejected me.”

“I didn’t—

“You did.” Seraphina asserts, “You wanted me as your safe space and needed me as your shadow.”

He winced at how blunt she sounded and how she truly believed that’s what he needed her for.

His elbows rest on the table as he leans a little to peer into her eyes, “You’ve never been a shadow, you’ve always been my right hand, my best friend, my soulmate, half of me.”

Seraphina tossed her head back, feeling her eyes burn. “…Dante…you know what they say about having someone be your everything…you won’t know what to do once you lose ‘em.”

“Is that what you want to hear? That I’m lost without you?”

Robin thicke is gagged!

“I don’t want to hear what you think I want to hear.”

“Good because i haven’t done that, not once since I’ve been sitting here. I love you and that’s not ever gonna change. You wanted time, I gave it to you but it’s my turn to fight for us and I’m tapped in.”

“What exactly are you fighting for? A friendship that no longer serves its purpose?”

“No.” Dante feels as if his heart is breaking again, “T-That’s not true and I know you don’t believe that either. You love me too.”

“Course I do! I wouldn’t have thought about raising a child with you after finding out I was—

Her eyes go wide at her rambling and Dante almost forgets how to breathe. He dips his head, trying to catch her eyes but suddenly she finds her iced mocha more interesting.

“You were what?” Dante pried bringing his up knuckles by his mouth, “Don’t try and slide by that, Nina. Tell me.”

Seraphina takes her time meeting Dante’s eyes, “I was pregnant and I miscarried.”

Dante drops his head against his fist. All the background noise was drowned out by the ringing in his ears and his legs began to shake—it was a good thing he was seated. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, how long has she been keeping this a secret from him?

“When?” Dante croaked out before clearing his throat and trying again, “When was this?”

“Some years ago…back when you were in the academy and I was working at the aquarium until I got hired at the lab.” Seraphina explains, playing with the sleeve of her shirt, but the weight didn’t feel completely lifted, it just felt like she shifted it off to the one person who was the last to know.

Should have known.

Dante pressed his fist to his mouth, just gazing at a sadden Seraphina. She thought about that part of their future, creating a family together, and seeing as much of the world as they could. It was right at her fingertips but it just wasn’t meant to be.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you felt like you could never talk to me about our…baby.” There’s tears in his throat and he has to close his eyes since they stung.

He feels her touch against his wrist, patiently waiting for him to meet her eyes.

“…And I’m sorry that I’m adding more to your grief.”

This she means, as she offers him a small smile.

He takes it, freeing one hand to grasp her’s.

They squeeze each other’s hands so tightly, almost as if they were attempting to take away each other’s pain. He wasn’t completely okay with this, he was mixed with so much right now he didn’t know the proper response or if he had a proper one in this moment. Yes this felt like betrayal because she didn’t trust him enough to let him know, that they had the potential to create life together but at the same time she must have felt so alone going through it all.

His voice comes out strained, “You could have told me, you know? You know I would have been there for you but…you left me in the dark for years, Seraphina.”

Seraphina nods, “I…didn’t know how. I thought I was protecting you—us. You already constantly blamed yourself for the accident when we were kids and I just…didn’t want you to beat yourself up anymore over the loss.”

He laughs almost bitterly although his chest aches while he pulls his hand from her’s, “Protecting me is not lying to me. This all makes sense now, you know? Why you’ve held on all this time when you could have shared that with me? I would have been there and I hope you know that now. I thought we were better than that.”

“Well maybe we’re not,” Seraphina scoffs, “This back and forth is always constant. I finally got tired. I’ve always been sure, always wanted more. A baby wouldn’t have fixed your uncertainties even if a part of me hoped it would then.”

Dante sharply turns his head to her, “Who says I’m not sure? If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t still be here but it was no problem for you to not only walk away but shut me out on that part of your life.”

Seraphina’s shoulder slump at this. She had to take accountability for this and ultimately she regretted holding onto this for so long. She had fear inside of her as well, it was her way of trying to protect Dante like he’s been doing all this time—in his mind. Perhaps it was all a huge chunk of miscommunications and striving to shield each other from more hurt.

Her voice is hushed that even with Dante sitting across from her, he could have missed this, “I’m sorry for that…I think I didn’t want to be more of a burden to you.”

Dante feels his head jerk back at this, “You never were. I just didn’t know how to make you understand that loving you past our friendship could make things worse. I didn’t want that for us. And now learning this…”

He stops, the blended emotions hitting him again as he struggled to clear his throat.

“I wanted to tell you but if I did…I was scared you’d leave me for good.” Seraphina feels her eyes water but she doesn’t dare let them fall.

He’s reaching for her hand again, her other going to wipe at her damp nose, quickly looking away from her old friend, “I would have never left you if you told me that. Yeah, I’ll always feel like it’s my fault that…you’ll never be able to carry but I wouldn’t have left you alone when you needed me the most.”

There’s a deep throbbing sadness in the air but it softens some with a sort of understanding sprouting amongst them. Their friendship was not only full of love but also great fear.

A sob threatens to escape her lips, “I—I started to feel alone in this for some time. Which is why I thought letting go was the best choice. I made it this time.”

Dante hates to hear Seraphina say this to him. However maybe he’s felt the same, in a different way. He knows he loves Seraphina but wouldn’t allow himself to be in love by shutting himself off to that idea. They were supposed to be so much more but years of hurt clouded their judgment in many ways.

“You were never alone,” Dante’s gaze is raw, open, and just as afraid as she is, “I’ve always been right here. I let hurt lead the way and since you’ve been gone…I don’t think we’re the same people we used to be.”

For the first time in years…it feels like Dante isn’t hiding from her. He’s no longer slipping and although there’s evident distance, he’s no longer shielding himself from what this is.

A smile sits on the corner of her full lips.

This finally feels like they’re getting somewhere and maybe this is what it takes.

“We were never going to be perfect,” Seraphina starts, “That wouldn’t be the Nina and Tay way.”

“Why does your name get to go first when I’m older?” Dante rests his hands on his chest in feign offense, a frown appearing on his face.

Seraphina rolls her eyes, her tone light and playful, “By six months boo-fucking hoo.”

Dante snorts with a crossing of his arms, “I think I’m starting to hate that number now.”

Seraphina can’t help but feel a bubble of laughter rise in her chest, a small, soft laugh that feels almost out of place after everything they’ve said. However something is there, a tiny relief, that reminds them of the easiness of their dynamic that once made their friendship so effortless. It’s like a wave of cool presses down the tension in her neck, freezing it away, making her feel as if they might be okay despite the heaviness at the start of their day.

“It’s just a number, Tay. Not a lifetime.” She tries to persuade, laughter lingering in her tone as she picked at the now cold pastry.

Dante looks at her with a growing softness, his grin reaching his eyes and that faint dimple that isn’t seen so much with others, appears at the apple of his cheek, “Maybe that’s what I need right now. A little more Nina and Tay and a lot less... all of this."

Seraphina nods along as the buzzed hair man who sported a growing 5 o’clock shadow motions to what they’ve been battling.

“That’s your gift you know,” Dante continues, “You’ve always had a way of making me strive for better…like I can do anything. Be anything, be lighter underneath it all.”

The light haired woman can feel herself dissociating as Dante’s words fill up the air. The dark of her mind threatens to bring up the uninvited voice of Gloria Perez, who she had the pleasure of meeting briefly weeks before her final departure from this earth.

“I can see why you have such a hold on Dante.” The brunette approached Seraphina outside of the lab one night as she stands at the doors, tossing her work keys into her tote bag in exchange for her car keys, her head snaps over to the voice that greets her, “He may not have talked about you much, but I’ve always known there was someone much more important. Someone much more real for him, the good against the bad. He should loosen his grip.”

Gloria’s words are like an itch Seraphina can’t get to, taunting her and ready to pull her back to stay in that moment where she met the woman that didn’t deserve Dante. She never wanted to be compared to anyone else but sometimes that’s just not the way the world works. She briefly glanced at Dante who’s still staring at her, a tenderness in his now moss colored eyes across from her. Seraphina can still hear Gloria and it was starting to piss her off—healing takes time okay! She wants to be present with Dante, this was their moment and not anyone else’s.

Seraphina steadies herself, closing her eyes and shaking Gloria’s voice away so it slips somewhere to the back of her mind because those doubts don’t define her anymore as she decides to reply, “…I think we both need to remember the Nina and Tay way a little more."

The hint of wonder mixed with just living in the moment the best way they knew how was reminiscent.

Don’t think Dante didn’t notice the shift in her expression but he doesn’t push it like he knows she would have done him. This was all a lot especially since Seraphina’s plan was to slip in for Mr. Coty and out (things took a turn) yet still found time to make this work.

“…how is he?”

This is the first time Dante’s asking, although it’s been on his mind long before he entered the hospital yesterday evening.

Seraphina tries to put on a smile but it’s weak and doesn’t reach her eyes. “Chemo doesn’t work for this kind of cancer so it’s a 30% chance of survival but they’re starting him on meds soon.”

“Oh, Nina…” Dante breathes while she sniffs and takes a sip from her straw, “What can I do?”

She lightly shakes her head but there’s appreciation on her pretty face and he wants to reach to caress her cheek in hopes that she’ll lean into him. However times are different and they’re rebuilding.

“Just sitting here with me is nice,” She lifts her shoulders, folded by a forced smile and watery eyes, “You did mean it when you said you’d be in my corner right?”

“Always.” Dante nods, “I—

He wants to say it, that he loves her, always would love her but it sits on his tongue.

She knows.

“I needed that.” Seraphina whispers, “You know more than anybody the nature of our father and daughter relationship. When he and mom came to KC, I felt like I got a piece of me back. And now to hear that his life is at risk in his sixties…that’s another thing I didn’t want to dive into but I know at some point I’ll have to.”

Dante can sense that she’s struggling with this. It’s been better, honestly as a friend looking in that her parents decided to move away to Missouri because it allowed Seraphina to just be herself and not her mistakes.

“I don’t know how to be there for him, Dante.” There’s a slight glare on her face as she peers off to the right yet it’s not directed at anyone, “There were plenty of times I needed him growing up and he did nothing but shame me for every little thing. I was such a nervous wreck around him back then. The distance between us three: mom, me, and dad worked. Now that he’s sick I’m just supposed to let everything go? Doing that feels wrong to my inner child ya know?”

His heart aches for her, but his presence remains calm as he knows how much she’s carried when it comes to Mr. Coty and even Mrs. Coty. He’s also been on the receiving end of her father’s hurtful words and anger.

Dante’s voice is careful and gentle, a nature that she can rely on, “You don’t have to have the answers Ms. Know it all,” he winks at the common nickname which makes her smile with a shake of her head, “it’s okay to just be in the now. You have every right to be angry at what he did. I was there for half of it, what he did to you—us.”

From the vile and abusive language when Seraphina wouldn’t obey him, to the sneers at just the sight of her, the neglect, the over strictness where she simply couldn’t be a kid, defying her dreams, the attempted drowning—she couldn’t remember the last time her father even held her hand or told her he loved her.

Her chest works with the storm of the past. It wasn’t only the fact of how he treated his own daughter but it was also the way he treated her friend. Mr. Coty was even harsh towards Dante and belittled him, doing things he didn’t deserve either.

Then there’s this other side of him now, fragile and wanting to make things right if God intended to take him out. Seraphina feels like maybe she should feel guilty for having a bit of bitterness in her as stood in front of his bed, watching him sleep. He was supposed to be the first man that taught her how to be loved.

“I should be there now because you never know with time right,” Seraphina laughs a little, “I could walk away for good but the little girl in me still wants to be there for him and let him know that I do love him and not just because I’m supposed to. But I can’t forget everything. The things he said. The way he treated you.”

Dante nods, knowing this has always bothered Seraphina and seen how Mr. Coty’s ways shaped her, how it’s influenced everything from their relationship to how she views the world. But he’s also seen the strength in her. He knows her better than anyone. And he knows this is part of her growth, part of the painful process of letting go and figuring out what she needs, not just from her father but from the people who care about her most.

Dante’s voice is low but echoes the weight of the history, “Seraphina, I can’t tell you what to do. But I can tell you this—what he did to us, what he did to you, doesn’t have to define your choices now. Be there for you, you have the power.” There’s an intensity in his eyes that feels like reassurance, “You don’t have to fix his sins or anyone else’s. You’ve got this.”

She realizes that’s she’s been holding onto what her father has done for years. How it’s been avoidant since they both moved, buried like most things tended to be in Chicago. It’s a move on and you’ll live moment and frankly, Seraphina Coty’s had enough.

Then there’s a sadness that sits still in her chest at the thought that she could really lose her father. There’s also another presence that’s been on her mind, her patient but blossomed relationship with her new boyfriend of two months, Manny. He on the other hand, learned the dynamic of her relationship with her parents, tried to encourage her to keep an open mind and that closed mouths don’t get fed. Manny was used to constant conversations and was in the works of putting together a sit down and then…this happened.

It was the first time they butted heads.

His intentions were good but he wasn’t there to witness it all. He probably would never truly get it since he had a fantastic relationship with his parents, almost squeaky clean, something completely different than what Seraphina was used to.

She feels the push and pull between what’s expected of her and what she needs. She can’t stop herself from thinking about the differences between him and Dante. Which is ironic since she never wanted Dante comparing her to Gloria.

Seraphina’s voice is firm, pulling herself back from the brink of uncertainty, “I hear you I do but it’s never that simple. I’ve got someone else in the picture now and Manny feels like I’ll regret it if I don’t help out. He’s trying to be there for me too through all of this.”

Dante slightly scrunches up his lips while studying his old friend. So her and Manny were serious now? Only makes sense since he’s here with her but it doesn’t stop the sting of hearing it so plainly. “Screw what Manny thinks. He can be here but he has no idea, he wasn’t there so he shouldn’t be pushing you to do something you’re not sure of yourself, Nina. I would know, I was there first and I’m not going anywhere this time. Even if you push me away.”

It’s petty sure but Dante feels the way that he feels and he can’t change it. He wasn’t here to cause problems between Nina and Manny but he was going to say what he felt. Dante could respect that Manny was here during Seraphina’s time of need but he couldn’t get with the overstepping.

He’ll learn his place soon enough.

Dante says this with quiet conviction, as though he’s making a promise to himself, to her, that this—what they are—isn’t something he’s willing to give up again, not without a fight. He let her go twice before but this time taught Dante everything he needed to know.

He can fight harder for her and that he will.

Clearing his throat after finding Seraphina observing him with her eyes, in a way that he was almost like an experiment made him a little uneasy. Sometimes she didn’t realize she was even doing it, her eyes low but focused with curiosity.

Dante continues, “I’m not here to compete. But I’m here for you. I always have been. And if you need me, you don’t have to hide from that. Especially when it comes to him.”

His statement is bold and lets Seraphina know, this whole ordeal has unleashed something in him that she’s seen in Dante before.

She exhaled with her eyes closed and says, “I don’t know what I need right now. But I do know that I’m not ready to shut you out again.”

And those words alone works just fine for Dante.

After all maybe he was beginning to see the art of letting go in order to rebuild. But some parts of him still wondered what that rebuild would look like, after they departed and went on about their days with a new found acceptance of each other.

What would they look like now?

The future, it seemed, wasn’t clear but they were still a puzzle that they intended to piece together and not let slip through their hands, this time.

﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉

-> Part two

#queued #spotify #dante torres #Dante Torres x oc #Dante Torres x reader #benjamin levy aguilar #winter writing #winter writes #chicago pd #chicago pd x reader #fic series: killing me

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aquaquadrant · 1 year ago

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I was wondering if you had an estimated date of when you will post the next HTP chapter?

Like, leaving us on such a cliffhanger must be a crime! It cant be legal!

Anyways, while I wait for it, Ive decided to copy paste every chapter into a doc and mark it up color code style for all my over analyzing needs. It took me an hour but it was worth it.

Have a good week and take care :)

(This is meant to be genuine, not mean or passive aggressive, just so you know. While I indeed am anxiously awaiting Chapter 10 by highlighting the chapters on a doc like that one photo of a bible page that’s highlighted with different colors. This isn’t meant to be mean or pressuring, take your time and take care of yourself)

⬆️(Ah poo, Im an over thinker

hey there, no worries y’all- i love seeing my reader’s enthusiasm and it’s reassuring to see continued interest in the series. i’d been hoping to have BOTH of the final ‘from eden’ chapters done before summer. but i have to admit, progress on the next chapter hasn’t been as forthcoming as i’d expected, for a couple reasons.

the first is health-related. not to be too TMI, but i recently got diagnosed with crohn’s disease. my symptoms started ages ago but have really ramped up in the last couple months, and the diagnosis was a lengthy and involved process (started the hunt back in november, presumptively diagnosed after a colonoscopy in feb, definitively diagnosed when biopsies came back over spring break) and even when i was simply waiting for results, it occupied a lot of my mental capacity. and ofc it happened to line up with me turning 26 and needing new insurance, which has caused lots of delays. anyone dealing with the american health care system while chronically ill will tell you it’s a frustrating, exhausting process. as of right now, i’m still waiting to start treatment 🫠

but honestly, even more than that, the biggest thing stopping me from writing is… me? 😂 so there’s this thing that happens after i post a chapter that’s like… decision paralysis? except it’s just that sometimes, i literally can’t bring myself to start the next chapter. it’s like, i have this unfounded fear that all my writing up until this point has been some magical fluke out of my control, and i’m not capable of ‘pulling it off’ again. i guess you could call it a form of imposter syndrome (which i already encounter enough in my vet school life). it gets worse after posting something that was a particularly massive undertaking or was insanely well-received bc i’m scared i won’t be able to top it- even though the impact of storytelling is supposed to be cohesive, and it’s unrealistic for every chapter to be ‘bigger and better’ (what does that even mean?) than the last one because they serve different purposes at different points in the story. i know this, rationally, but that doesn’t stop the irrational fear of failure from making me avoid writing.

i’m not sharing this to make excuses or garner sympathy, or fish for compliments, and certainly not to make anyone feel guilty for asking about updates. i just feel like maybe this will resonate with anyone who has the same experience. and also to share hope, because despite how often this feeling rears its ugly head, i’ve still been able to push through and get back to writing- and i’m always very happy with the result. sometimes it just takes longer than i’d like (pro tip: writing on ur phone is less intimidating, tho it’s more of a pain). but in any case, the next chapter of ‘from eden’ is well underway and i still hope to have the series done before summer’s end^^

#hels to pay au #HTP ask #wow that’s WAY more rambling abt my personal life than i typically do #but NEVER FEAR i wouldn’t leave y’all on that cliffhanger forEVER i’m not THAT cruel <3

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midnightswithdearkatytspb · 2 years ago

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MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB’s Recommendation List: May Pt. 1

Welcome to the first part of the May recommendation list. I hope you have been working enough, with the semester coming to a close for those in school. Ensure you aren’t letting yourself go too crazy with finals and are coming up for air and self-care. If you would like a moodboard made for your story or character, please send me a request. I would love to make you one. If you are interested in having your writing challenges featured here, your stories, or even your blog, please feel free to tag me in your works, message me, or use the hashtag MidnightWithDearKatyTSPB. Heads up, June may be all on one list. I’m going to my Grandmother’s 90th birthday and visit my family. I’ll get plenty of reading done while I’m gone, but I don’t know how much list-making I’ll get done. I hope your spring is going well and allergies are leaving you alone.

<<April Pt. 2 💐

May Pt. 2✨>>

Masterlist 📜

I'll See You Again (Moodboard + One-Shot) >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Shelby - Summary: Estella doesn’t want to let go of Tommy or her family.

BLURBS/DRABBLES:

Escape to Me by @daisyblinder >> Tommy Shelby x fem!reader - Summary/Request: The reader is autistic but masks a lot, so it's hidden, and Tommy can tell when they’re getting overwhelmed, so he sort of helps them out? | Found this very touching and wish to have a Tommy who would comfort them in those times of being overwhelmed.

Tommy Shelby + Hot Asshole Neighbor by @scorpiussage >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Were not always lucky when it comes to neighbors, or are we? (My Summary) | If Tommy were my neighbor, I would gladly like to hear how he would like to make it up to me. 😏

ONE-SHOTS:

And Her Name Is... by @teenwolf-theoriginals >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: The children help come up with baby names. | I truly love this family!Tommy setting.

The Boys by @teenwolf-theoriginals >> Dad!Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: You get a call from the boys’ school, that later sparks a tense conversation between you and Tommy. | I love reading Tommy in a family setting and Charlie with more siblings. Happy to read this.

Close Your Eyes, Make A Wish by @look-at-the-soul >> Modern!Tommy Shelby x reader - Summary/Request: The reader could be having an extremely stressful day, and Tommy comes home to find her looking out their bedroom window, and he gives her a cuddle knowing it always calms her down. | I had a smile on my face the whole time I read this.

Enraptured by @toms-cherry-trees >> John Shelby x Reader - Summary: Gif Request - Sneak Preview: “Oh I see a lot that I like” That cheeky grin of his has not left his lips, and you want to kiss the arrogance out of him... | I love this so much, honestly. You can never get too much, John Shelby.

Mine by @toms-cherry-trees >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Gif Request - Sneak Preview: More often that he cared to admit, Tommy had pictured her with that fan in her hand and nothing else on her skin. | The ending took me by surprise, and it had me so giddy.

More Than Enough by @dandelionprints >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Sneak Peak: “Who have you heard say that? You tell me and I’ll send Arthur round to have a chat with them, no one talks about my wife like that!” | Fantastic job making me fall in love with Tommy Shelby all over again.

My Daughter. by @toomanyfandomsallatonce >> Tommy Shelby x F!Reader - Summary: One of the maids at Arrow house yells at your daughter for breaking a vase, and Tommy is extremely displeased when he finds out. | I have such a soft spot for Dad!Tommy Shelby.

Season's Change, People Don't by @shelbyssins >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary/Request - Sneak Preview: “What if you say no and regret it?” Tommy asked, his voice as soft as the breeze whispering over Y/n’s skin. | This was just perfect, perfect, absolutely perfect.

There's A Lot of Making Up To Do by @acewritesfics >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Y/N is Charlie's daughter. Her and Tommy grew up together and have always been close until she moved away to go be a nurse in London. But now she's back. | Sometimes, a way to a woman's heart is a horse and remembering their teenage dreams of said perfect horse.

Untitled by @padfootdaredmetoo >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: Sneak Peak: “You leave what’s mine alone. Now give my regards to Mr. Kimber.” He spat on them as John pulled him back; looking down at them, he wondered if they were dead. | This one-shot brings me joy and makes me want to cheer for Tommy Shelby.

Welcome Back Sweetheart. by @toomanyfandomsallatonce >> Tommy Shelby x F!Reader - Summary: You left Tommy before the war started, and now, years later, he found you again, and this time he won't let you run again. Especially not into the arms of your abusive husband. | When Tommy makes a promise, he keeps it.

Whatever You Say by @little-diable >> Tommy Shelby x fem!reader - Summary: The reader finds a book without a title in Tommy's office, and the more pages she flips, the more she starts to realize that it's a book filled with drawings of naked bodies. | Thank you for the porn with a plot. It was *chefs kiss* perfect.

SERIES:

1919 Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | by @shelby-fangirl00 >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Jasmine Manson - Summary: Jasmine has lost almost everything in life except her Godmother, Polly, and the Shelby family. They are perhaps the only thing keeping her somewhat sane. She spends her days taking care of Finn and her nights living by the moon, reminiscing of old days with Tommy Shelby, wishing for him to come back to her to the way things were before the war. The thing is, the war has changed them both as they both have lost and changed so much in the four years they were apart. (my summary, sorry) | Loosely based on the series, and I'm loving what there is so far!

Night In January pt. 1 | Through The Window pt. 2 | Only Joys Will Come pt. 3 | by @evita-shelby >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: I ride on the January, which leads to a life-changing decision and Shelby family tradition. (My Summary) | I loved the emotions this touches on and how you can picture it happening in the series.

Welcome To Downtown, Mr. Shelby | Chapter 9 | by @notyour-valentine >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Crawley - Summary: He was born on a boat, with neither of his parents sure of the date after the fact, unregistered and unlisted until he went to fight for his country. Her birth had been celebrated with the ringing of church bells, champagne toasts, and announcements in newspapers on both sides of the Atlantic. Their worlds could not have been more different, and perhaps that was why, when Thomas Shelby looked at Lady Charlotte Crawley, he saw more than her title, more than her looks- he saw an opportunity. | I look forward to reading more, and I love how you combine both universes. I know I said that last time Val, but you always blow my mind with your ability to do so.

PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS:

BLURBS/DRABBLES:

Games by @psychedelic-ink >> bodyguard!Joel Miller x actress!reader - Summary: Joel is fed up with your bratty behavior. | 🥵 🥵 🥵 Can be read alone or read its sequel High Enough.

Skinny Dipping by @swiftispunk >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Sneak Peak - "there," he says softly, reaching out his hand for you to take hold of, pulling you further into the water and closer to him. "feels nice, don't it?" | I’d skinny-dip any day with Joel Miller if it were anything like this.

Snack Break by @joelscruff >> boyfriend's dad!Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Joel needs you to be quiet. | Cocky!Joel telling you to enjoy your snack does things to me.

ONE-SHOTS:

At His Side (In His Bed) by @proxima-writes >> mand’alor!Din Djarin x female reader x Paz Vizsla - Summary: They call you the whore of Mandalore. Nothing more than the woman at the side of the ruler of New Mandalore, Din Djarin, a pretty little prize that he likes to share with his General Commander, Paz Vizsla. Mandalorians have always been good at keeping their secrets. | It's hot, and if you are like me, you'll surely love the ending.

High Enough by @psychedelic-ink >> Dieter Bravo x actress!reader x bodyguard!Joel Miller - Summary: An afterparty, weed, drinks, a grumpy bodyguard, and an eccentric actor. What can go wrong? | I think that was one of the hottest things I’ve ever read. 🥵🔥

In Her Defense by @swiftispunk >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: An unexpected attack. A protective instinct. A heartfelt exchange. (The reader steps in when a stranger tries it with Ellie, and Joel is a guilt-ridden sad boy about it.) | This was a lovely one-shot; I'm so glad I read it!

*I've Shattered Now by @wannab-urs >> Dieter Bravo x Reader - Summary: Continuation of A Ghost of You (but can be read separately). Dieter dies, and you have to learn to live without him. | I’m not crying like a big baby. Nope, I promise. This was so beautifully written, and I would read it repeatedly. Please read all TW.

*Old Soul by @softlyspector >> Joel Miller x f!Reader - Summary: You're never quite sure of your place in Joel's life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is. | This whole work is dark yet beautiful, honestly, and I love it.

Say It With Your Hands by @swiftispunk >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Ellie convinces Joel to see the town masseuse. It goes mostly okay. | That was so hot 🥵 Hannah, thank you for sharing this with us.

*Seasons by @loquaciousferret >> Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: One scene for each season of the year of your relationship as you fall in love with Joel Miller, single dad, and sweet southern heartthrob. | The best slow-burn and sweet porn I've read features Joel Miller. I adored it.

Toyin' With Them Older Guys by @proxima-writes >> bartender!Joel Miller x female!reader - Summary: Joel Miller is the grumpy bartender and owner of your favorite bar near campus, where you attend trivia every Tuesday night. Thinking there’s no way Joel could return your feelings, your friend suggests trying out Tinder. But when you bring them to the bar for a date, they leave mid-date without explanation. Maybe there’s something Joel isn’t telling you after all. | This was hot and, dare I say, adorable.

Weakness by @pedgeitopascal >> Joel Miller x female reader - Summary: An afternoon at Bill and Frank’s takes an unexpected turn for you and Joel when some feelings start coming to the surface. | The last line of this just sums this up so perfectly and beautifully…. I love it.

STORIES:

Apothecary | Chapter 4 | by @atinylittlepain >> Joel Miller x witchy!reader - Summary: Joel becomes curious about the woman running the medicine shop in Jackson, and the strange rumors swirling around her. | I know there is still more to come, and I look forward to what is in store for them.

Burning Hour by @juletheghoul >> Din Djarin x Royal F!Reader - Summary: Din Djarin is the captain of your father - the king's royal guard and, as such, is tasked with protecting you. When you leave a child and come back a woman, he sees you in a different light- but he isn’t the only one with his eye on you. Can a Princess and her Knight find a way to be together? | This story is so good! And the plot twist that you don't see coming! It blew my mind and made me love this story even more. I'm not sure which part I loved the most the vows, the porn, or the plot twist. I highly recommend you read this.

In My Hometown Series | Come Back, Be Here | by @swiftispunk >> neighbour!dbf!Joel Miller x fem!afab!actor(ish)!reader (+ platonic!Tommy and platonic!Sarah - Summary: Joel reckons with life in Austin after you return to LA | It's hot, but this series period is hot. It's one of my all-time favorite Joel Miller series here on Tumblr, and Hannah does amazing writing, Joel and reader.

One For The Money, Two For The Show by @cowgurrrl >> rockstar!Joel Miller x actress!reader - Summary: When world-famous rockstar Joel Miller finds himself in some hot water with the press, his PR team suggests fake dating an up-and-coming actress to refine his image. However, when they actually start spending time together, the happy couple can’t stand each other. Will they be able to turn it around for the cameras, or will it all be for nothing? | I LOVE THIS SERIES! If I were the reader, I would be screaming into my pillows about Joel Miller and his stupid face.

Raider by @toxicanonymity >> raider!Joel Miller x fem!reader - Summary: You think Joel is saving you from the bad guys, but he's just claiming you for himself. You're his now, and he won't let you or his men forget it. Better be a good girl for him. It's for your own good, sweet pea. | It's both a perfect amount of dark and porn. If you like dark!Joel look no further.

True Blue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | by @beskarandblasters >> Joel Miller x OC!Hannah - Summary: Joel has lived most of his life with little emotional attachments, especially romantic attachments. He was satisfied with only having his brother, Tommy, and his friend, Tess. That is until Hannah moves to the Boston QZ from Hartford, Connecticut QZ after the military control there collapses, and Joel questions everything he thought he knew about love, trust, and loyalty. | I look forward to seeing where this goes because this has me sucked in, and it’s very good!

*Uneven Odds by @theetherealbloom >> Joel Miller x Fem!Reader - Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold or will she be able to change what was already written? | You want to cry, scream, and laugh all throughout. It’s a must-read for fans of the television series and Joel Miller.

Untitled pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | by @pascalisbaby >> neighborhood!dbf!Joel Miller x fem!reader - Summary: after two years of fantasizing about your neighbor, Joel, he finally gives you what you’ve been dying for. | This series is just so good! Please read it.

TRIPLE FRONTIER:

ONE-SHOTS:

Take Care of You by @musings-of-a-rose >> Benny Miller x f!reader - Summary/Request: Here is my Benny idea. He gets worried about his baby working nights. The reason why he takes her to and from work. Go out to their favorite hangout for a late dinner. Then spoil her as soon they get home. | Buddles, that is so cute, and yes, I could use some myself.

Pedro Pascal characters as Taylor Swift albums by @swiftispunk

Tommy Shelby Moodboard by @raincoffeeandfandoms

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cuffmeinblack · 1 year ago

Text

These Days Worth Living

Garreth Weasley

Tags: tooth rotting fluff | mentions of loss

1.6k words

Summary: As the first wizarding war draws to a close, Garreth spends time with his extended family and reflects upon his long and fulfilling life.

A/n: Here we go, my contribution to the Weasley Wednesday Christmas special and the conclusion to a timeline of Garreth's festive seasons. Fluffy, a little bittersweet and thoroughly heartwarming (I hope). Merry Christmas! Full collab masterlist here.

December, 1981

Garreth sat at the kitchen table listening to the wireless radio propped next to the stack of cards he’d yet to sign. The pile of ones he’d written was pitiful in comparison to those that still required his attention. If only the Weasley family wasn’t quite so large he’d have finished before lunch, or if he didn’t insist on writing personal and heartfelt messages in each one. He’d just finished cramming in an update to his nephew Septimus when his concentration was interrupted by a knock on the back door. Turning around in his chair and groaning slightly at the stiffness in his back (he was spritely for a man of one hundred and eight, but by no means a spring chicken), he was met with the bright freckled face of his daughter. He grinned and beckoned her in, casting a quick charm to unlock the door.

“Hello, sweetheart. What brings you here?”

“Just checking in…”

Matilda did a lot of checking in these days, though Garreth couldn’t say he minded. The family home that had once housed so many lay bare, with only Garreth to fill its many rooms. The moving photos of his loved ones could never replace their presence, especially that of his beloved life partner. It had been a long nine months since her passing, and not a day went by that he didn’t feel the painful longing caused by her absence.

“Writing Christmas cards?” Matilda asked as she sat next to him.

Garreth took her hand and nodded, finally placing the quill on the table for a break.

“Almost done,” he lied. “Cup of tea?”

Matilda nodded, jumping to her feet to prepare the kettle before Garreth could move an inch.

“Molly’s throwing a big celebration with Arthur, you know. They extended their house again…”

“How could they possibly extend it anymore?” Garreth chuckled.

“Well they had to when Ginevra was born.”

“I would like to see their little girl…”

Matilda nodded, pouring out two steaming cups of tea and laying them on the table, the smell of bergamot filling the room. Garreth hadn’t been much of a tea drinker before…well, before her.

“Then it’s settled. Let them see Great Uncle Garreth, dad.”

“Fine, fine. I wonder if Leander will be there? It’s been a while.”

“If they can fit the Prewetts in too, I’m sure they will.”

Garreth very much doubted that, but he couldn’t deny he was looking forward to a great big family gathering, even if he wasn’t the one to host it this year. He’d been isolated too long, kept away from the ones he loved through grief. That’s not what she would have wanted, especially now that the war was finally over. A raucous Christmas party seemed like a fitting celebration to mark the occasion. Perhaps it was time for Garreth to reintegrate with the Weasley clan, and revel in all the affection they had to offer.

Christmas day came with a whimper rather than a bang. For Garreth, he woke to an empty bed in an empty house, though the owls’ incessant hooting and tapping on the windows made it hard to sleep in. He spent the early morning reading cards, opening presents and cuddling Barney, his beloved labrador retriever. Whilst he felt his love’s absence more acutely today, he grinned through all the well-wishes and even the unexpected howler from Leander, confirming that unfortunately he wouldn’t be at the Weasley celebration later, but would love to get together in the new year. He’d ended the note reminding Garreth that he still owed him five galleons.

“Git,” Garreth chuckled.

Garreth arrived at The Burrow just before lunch, his neck craning in order to take in the teetering heights of their home; it was quite the magical feat. He’d barely taken two steps into the front garden before he was ambushed by a flurry of red hair, more shocking than his own.

“Great Uncle Garreth!”

There was no mistaking the twins, the lanky four year olds piling into his arms and knocking the presents he’d been clutching to the snow-strewn ground. Garreth chuckled and hugged the boys tightly, already wishing he’d taken the time to visit sooner. A few months may as well be a lifetime for young children.

“Hello Fred, George!” Garreth said, ruffling their ginger locks.

Most people struggled to tell the pair apart, but Garreth knew that Fred had a slightly crooked smile and George was the ever so slightly more mischievous twin with wider set eyes. Those blue eyes were trained upon Garreth with rapt attention as little hands pulled and pushed him towards the bustling house.

“Molly, Merry Christmas!” he shouted to the host as he was guided into the kitchen.

Yet more familiar faces greeted him and Garreth felt his heart swell. How he’d missed this; the noise; the chaos. His own son and daughters were first to embrace him, then Garreth’s grandchildren got their turn. He was almost thankful when he finally found a perch on the kitchen bench and Arthur greeted him with a glass of mulled wine.

“Arthur! How’s my favourite great-nephew?”

Arthur slapped Garreth on the back, a grin breaking onto his thin but still youthful face. After so many children (how many was it now, seven?), Garreth was still surprised by the energy he exuded.

“Fantastic! You must meet Ginny, she’s a treasure.”

“Later, Arthur, she’s just gone down for a nap. How are you, Garreth?” Molly asked, parting the crowds with her commanding presence.

“Well, Molly, thank you. And Merry Christmas. I’m glad I came.”

She didn’t give him that pitying look that others enjoyed bestowing on him; hers was one of only warmth, an unwritten invitation for company and a sympathetic ear. Garreth knew he could count on his family in his time of need, but what he needed now was a joyful Christmas. As if on cue, the twins were back, this time with their elder brothers in tow and a toddler bounding after them.

“William! Percy! Charlie! Mind the crockery!” their mother shouted.

The smaller redhead, Ronald, almost nosedived into Garreth’s lap as the boys all piled onto him and their father. And thus began the onslaught of questions. Garreth was in his element, regaling the boys with tales of his youth, even if they earned a few raised eyebrows from their mother. Fred and George in particular hung on to every word, their limited vocabulary seemingly no issue. Garreth made sure to add lots of exaggeration for their benefit as he gesticulated wildly.

“...and then the cauldron exploded, BOOM!” Professor Sharp was not impressed…earned me a month’s worth of detentions, but so worth it!”

The children cheered and asked for more stories, but once Fred started babbling about explosions, Molly swiftly brought an end to storytime and asked the children to wash up before their meal. Without the distraction of children, Molly thought it an opportune time to thrust a gift into Garreth’s hands. He’d not expected anything; he knew how hard up the family were, and after the toll the war had taken, he’d not expected anything but company this Christmas. He was rendered momentarily speechless, until he opened the parcel to find a handwritten cookery book, at which point he started to babble his thanks as he flipped through the pages.

“You know I think your presents are currently lying in the snow outside,” Garreth chuckled. “But nothing a good wash can’t fix.”

“Don’t worry, I picked them up after you,” Arthur said, pulling the parcels out of the stack behind him.

Garreth watched as the pair opened the wrappings, nervously awaiting their verdict. Molly was first to reveal her burgundy jumper with the gold ‘M’ knitted on the front.

“All handmade! I took up a new hobby…,” Garreth said bashfully.

“Oh, it’s lovely!”

Arthur nodded his agreement, already pulling on the navy blue jumper with his ‘A’ emblazoned on the front. Grinning somewhat smugly, Garreth clapped his hands.

“You’ll have to teach me how to knit,” Molly said, twirling around. “I mean it!”

“Of course!”

It wasn’t long before another drink was thrusted into Garreth’s hand and he was on the way to becoming merry even before lunch was served. The smell of roast Turkey and all the trimmings was making his mouth water, and the bowl of nuts he’d been dipping into just wasn’t cutting it. Before he could stand to source a delicious mince pie, a tiny cherubic face caught his eye and stopped him in his tracks. The darling sleeping baby lay cradled in his daughter’s arms as she weaved through the throng, gently stroking the tufty hair on top of her head.

“Is that Ginevra?” Garreth said, almost a whisper.

She looked startling like Matilda as a baby. He couldn’t stop the well of tears in his eyes and the surge of affection for the girl he barely knew. The little girl was passed to Garreth without him even asking, and he accepted her with a smile. She stirred, grumbling and blinking awake as Garreth watched her intently. Her shocking red hair was but a few inches long, her dark brown eyes sparkling as they focused on his face. He just about melted onto the rickety old bench when Ginevra took his finger in her tiny hand and offered him a sleepy smile of her own.

“She’s darling,” Garreth commented. “Absolutely beautiful.”

Inevitably, the memories of his infant children prompted yet more recollections of that time in his life; a time when his dear wife had been by his side. The sadness threatened to overwhelm him, yet those tiny fingers gripped him tighter as if offering him a lifeline; a beautiful and innocent distraction which he held onto firmly. Garreth had been luckier than most, having spent decades of bliss with his soulmate; the love of his life. The children packed into every nook and cranny of the warm and welcoming Burrow were a reminder of his legacy, one which would continue to warm his heart with pride and love for the rest of his days.

#weasley wednesday #garreth weasley #weasley family

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calypsothedigeridoodle · 1 month ago

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That moment when you have so many things you want to draw but you can’t choose and it gives you art block

Update and doodle explanation under the cut

Okay, update time!

I just got out for spring break I’m ready to be free from the pressure and burnout for a while. The only real issue is that I want to draw more for me, and by proxy post more stuff here, but I have a wide variety of things that I want to draw. Let’s go from left to right in the doodle.

Obviously I don’t want to be doing school art right now, but I still enjoy each class to an extent. My independent studio class is probably my favorite so far, because it’s an excuse to basically do whatever I want, and the next character is a great example of that.

This guy is the main character of that project I teased almost a month ago. He doesn’t have a name yet, because coming up with all of the names in this project has been difficult. The main plot is that he is a comic book hero that accidentally became aware that his world isn’t real. Through actions both in and out of his control, he finds himself stuck as a supervillain and must find a way to adjust while also trying to escape and save the city from an episodic nightmare. I’m excited to blab about him more, but I wanna wait till my next project assignment is done, which I’ve decided will be character references and bios!

Next up is a Splatoon oc that has been stuck in my head since the 2nd Inkblot Art Academy Big Run named Sam. He’s existed since the first Inkblot Big Run, but I’ve recently been fleshing out his backstory and I might be going off the rails. The basic premise is that due to a workplace accident during the Inkblot Big Run, he slowly turned into a salmonling. It’s been a lot of fun to write and now that I’m almost done, I might make a full breakdown of the process in case I wanna make more Salmonlings or if my friends wanna take a shot at making their own.

Last but not least is Jackbox. It’s been in the backseat for a while now, but I do want to give an update. First off, since the host design breakdown Bob, M.O.T.H.E.R, Todd, and the Champ’d Up Host all have their designs finished and the Quixort Hostess is currently stuck in concept sketch hell because I have very conflicting ideas of where to go with her. Secondly, Bob’s birthday is coming up so he’ll probably get birthday fanart like Cookie did, which is honestly kinda fitting seeing how my first Bob design was made for his birthday 4 years ago. (Holy crap it’s been 4 years) I’m also excited for the Jackbox direct thingy on the 7th because of what things we could get. I have my predictions, but we’ll have to see.

So yeah! I really hope I can make stuff to post here soon. Feel like I’ve been a little quiet art-wise

#update #doodle #oc art #splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon oc #jackbox games

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 2 months ago

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this week the headline is that i was: Sick. i actually got off to a very solid start to the week on monday, doing all my little habits, finishing my workout program, getting some work done, & going to a friend’s birthday; then tuesday i woke up with what by midday i could no longer reasonably hope was just some morning dryness in my throat and the past six days have been spent resting it off. my symptoms peaked at moderate, and i always feel like there should be a stronger relation between the severity of symptoms and the duration of a cold than there is, but alas. also, last spring i got my hopes up about being “i mean, like, basically almost all better” and my cold that was almost gone returned and then became an absolutelt heinous sinus infection so i am being careful with myself thus time out. tomorrow i will resume normal human activity but i will probably give returning to working out another few days and then, sigh, probably do a couple “build-up” days over a week or two to see if i can mitigate the soreness i always get after a break or at least keep it from interrupting my schedule once i pick up a new 10-week program.

i do feel very lucky that the symptoms waited until tuesday to start because that did mean that after starting working out with this fitfluencer in january 2023, i was finally, finally able to actually complete a program in the time it was written for. i think this little victory is owed to a few things: first, constant little trial and error to figure out the shape of a routine that works for me in many areas of my life so that i didn’t have any weeks i was just too busy and frazzled to get five workouts in; second, probably, to some extent my body just finally adjusting to the demand; third, probably, being still imperfect but more consistent about foam rolling & stretching; and fourth, this sounds weird but i actually believe it, picking up a cottage cheese before bed habit. i did this because when i started this program (for the second time) i noticed that i was going to bed having eaten overall enough (including Getting My Protein In) but still waking up hungry enough that i could tell it had disrupted my sleep (sometimes because i was waking up ravenous at like 3 in the morning) and i remembered a reddit tip i’d once read that came up in a post about sleep on a calorie deficit but which i thought might also apply to a person not trying to cut calories but doing exercise in a way that is intended to cause physical changes in the sense of adding muscle slowly over time… something about the combo of casein, a slow digesting protein, & fat is supposed to keep you full longer. how scientific is any of this? who fucking knows. but my inability to stay asleep went away when i started doing this.

i am also lucky that my symptoms for the most part were not so bad that i couldn’t read. i mean i still spent a lot of time dicking around on the internet because that’s what being sick is for. but i did get to finish some books :)

one reading related quandary i am currently facing is there are so many books i want to read for the first time now that i am reading books again but also i started reading house of mirth as a bedtime read and then was like… actually i’m too interested in rereading this to read it 3 pages at a time while falling asleep. i really do want to hit 50 books and have them be 50 new books but there are a couple things i’ve been interested in rereading for ages… partly because part of what i’m trying to learn to do this year is to more actively read as a writer and think more seriously about what it is i do and do not like in fiction writing as i slowly and nervously and mostly mentally futz around with the concept of learning to write it myself. and it does strike me that in addition to new books (which may or may not be good) it would probably be fruitful to read the books that have lingered positively in my memory which i read as a young and unserious reader, such as the house of mirth. (i can’t really make this argument for tender is the night, because i’ve read it like three times including in adulthood, and part of its hold on me is i find it just about impossible to see the seams, so to speak… but i do in fact want to reread that one too, lol.) perhaps i will allow myself one reread a month assuming that i am otherwise progressing on schedule. this also means i have not been good about bedtime book and i confess i am not sure where to turn on that front… perhaps this is where i try to make peace with poetry?

this week i have some fun stuff planned & am also going to try to work more because i am feeling anxious about (1) money and (2) prep work i’ll have to do in the future, and putting in more hours than i strictly need to will allay at least one of those concerns somewhat. upcoming books are angela carter’s the bloody chamber (stories), toni morrison’s playing in the dark (nonfiction), & sally rooney’s conversations with friends (novel), and as much as i loved love & theft and have already begun to uncover more than i anticipated left in me from the turn of the screw i confess my brain is a little relieved to take a break from marxist cultural criticism & the sentences of henry james. i kinda wanna aim to actually finish this one (1) yellowjackets fic and to do it by season’s end because my interest in the show is already close to extinguished but i like this little story, but we’ll see. next weekend we shall lose some sleep but in return daylight will have been saved!

#isabel 2k25 #bedtime blogging

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vdragon-creations · 1 year ago

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Spring Stars! (Part 2) A Date By Any Other Name!

(2003 Donatello x Sasha Fic)

✨💛💜✨

Author’s Note: Holy shit, it’s been a hot minute since I made Part one! I just wanna say a quick thank you (and a very big sorry) to those of you who read it! Means a lot to me that you even attempted to sit through my garbage writing! And now, you’re here looking for more punishment, and deliver it I shall! Plenty of OCxCC ship trash to go around, and more art with it too! Also, MAYBE a slight CW on this one for mentions of possible Spicy thoughts & a little angst! Other than that, it’s all just some fun character interactions! There will also probably be one more part to this story because I love torturing myself, and I can't seem to make anything easy! So enjoy! :3

✨💛💜✨

“Is this a… date?”

The question felt like a switch being flipped, turning the world around them into nothing. Donnie froze, feeling his heart start to pound. He hadn’t really planned for this kind of question, and to him this didn’t FEEL like a date. Though, thinking back on what he had in mind for this outing, it did seem like one. The idea making his face burn even more. But, he had to be honest, the look on Sasha’s face was more studious, and she’d surely be able to tell if he was trying to lie.

“W-we don’t have to call it that just because tht’s what everyone else does. It can be a j-just two friend having fun and getting to know each other better!” Donnie said, nervously smiling as he gulped. Sasha chuckled a little while an unsure grin came to her lips, “That sounds like a date though…” “Fair…” Donnie admitted. There was another pause between them, Sasha now looking at the floor again, then back up at Don. She approached him, getting in so close that Don felt the need to back up, but he stood his ground. While not being much taller then Donnie, Sasha’s stature always made it seem like she was bigger then him. This was a test, and she stared him down to see if there were any signs of wavering. And he just stared back.

“So…what do you say?” Donnie asked, trying to break the silence. Sasha tucked her bottom lip in a bit, her eyes not leaving him. The look in her eyes was thoughtful, then she opened her mouth to speak.

“YO GUYS! WHAT’S THE ETA ON THAT POPCORN? YOU TWO LOVE BIRDS DONE YET?”

The interruption from Mikey calling out for them, along with the ensuing swoons from others mocking them as well, made them both quickly jolt back from one another. Sasha actually seemed rather pissed off by it and she growled back, “ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY! AND NEITHER IS GOOD POPCORN! JUST SETTLE YOUR SHELL!” The others could be heard laughing in the background. Sasha caught her breath and hissed a bit in irritation, before sighing, looking back at Donnie with a disappointment look. “W-we’ll talk more after the movies. Okey?” Donnie had caught his breath too, but now looked disappointed. “S-sure…”

With that the two finished making the Popcorn, and finally came out to the living room where everyone was waiting to start the movie. “Bout time you two joined us! Donnie burn something again?” Raph teased. “Nooo, he actually did quite well. Though maybe it would’ve been done faster if SOME turtles had tried helping out!” Sasha chastised, only to be met with the remaining three turtles looking away, whistling a tune. Sasha rolled her eyes, looking over to April, hoping to get some actual conversation going! “Soooo, did you guys finally decide what to watch? I’m pretty curious!” April nodded, putting in a DVD, “Yep! Casey’s movie is the first!” “Booyah! You’re gunna love it! You’re from like, the desert and stuff, right? The Mummy is the best horror film ever!”

Donnie placed down a few bowls of popcorn onto the coffee table, as Sasha moved over to the side of the couch, still holding a huge bucket of popcorn for herself and Leatherhead. “The Mummy? What’s so scary about Mummies?” She seemed genuinely confused. “You don’t think they look creepy! Dead bodies wrapped in bandages, trying to eat your brain!” Casey argued, getting up and out of his seat and lunging at Sasha playfully, imitating a mummy. Sasha’s ears tilted back, and she stepped back from him, “Yeah…mummies aren’t like that at all! Having seen some up close, they’re more fascinating then anything. You humans are spooked by the weirdest things…”

Casey scoffed, sitting back down and crossing his arms, “Says the girl who can’t look at a kiddy pool without getting shaky…” He muttered under his breath to April, who rolled her eyes at him. “What was that Jones?” Sasha hissed as she turned her head to look back at him, her ears still back. “N-Nothin’! Nothin’ at all!” He scrambled to keep her from jumping him, April and the others having to stifle giggles. “That’s what I thought…” Sasha huffed, turning her attention on trying to find a seat.

Sasha quickly noticed that all the seats where taken on the couch and chairs, with only Leatherhead sitting on the ground, as he was far too big to sit on anything really. As small as she was, she still didn’t like the idea of having to squeeze into any of the seats, getting a little too close for comfort with anyone. But he didn’t need to worry as Leatherhead patted his lap, sitting cross legged on the ground. “It’s easier to share popcorn this way.” He said, giving her a warm and toothy grin. Sasha thought nothing really about it, and agreed. Walking over to him and plopping herself down in his lap. Being this close to Leatherhead was pretty normal to her, having spent plenty of nights by his side, calming him down from his nightmares and helping him get to sleep. However, it was a new sight for a certain terrapin ninja. Donnie had scooted into the couch next to Mikey and Honeycutt, and if she had asked, he would’ve gladly moved to the floor. But instead, here he was, staring at his crush in the lap of another large male mutant!

The normally levelheaded turtle had to admit to himself, it made his heart sink and his blood boil. Truthfully he’d always envied, to some degree, how close Leatherhead was to Sasha. She lived with him, spent most of the day with him, and judging by how comfortable she was touching him and sitting in his lap, spent a lot of time getting…cozy with him. As the movie started on the TV, Donnie started to feel a bit sick, watching Letherhead and Sasha in the corner of his eyes. He’d hold out his hand, and Sasha would take a bit of the Popcorn and place it into his palm.

“Why isn’t she like that with us? With me?”

And after she left his offer for a date unanswered, it made this even harder to watch.

✨💛💜✨

Movie after movie, the night continued, until it was time to start getting to bed. Everyone set up sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets in the living room. Casey and April shared the couch, Mikey and Donnie taking up the Lazyboy chairs, and the others all scattered along the floor. All except Honeycutt who decided to return to Leatherhead’s lair. While getting ready for bed, Donnie ran into Leatherhead, who was washing the bowls and cups they had used all night. “Oh, Donatello! I need to ask you, which soap do you tend to use for your dishes? The Green Apple scent or the Original?” Leatherhead asked, turning his head to see his turtle friend standing in the doorway. Donnie was stunned for a moment, as he wasn’t sure how to feel. His voice was caught between wanting to snap at him cause he was still upset about Sasha. But the more rational side of him told him to cool it for now. He shrugged, “Oh uhhhh, I think we use Original…” he replied, sounding a bit mopey as he crossed the room and grabbed a cup from the cabinets, doing his best to not make eye contact. But Leatherhead noticed immediately, “What is wrong my friend? You seem upset.” Donnie stayed still, staring at the cup in his hand, trying his best to not snap at him, debating on whether or not to say anything.

“I really don’t have the right to be upset. I don’t own her…” Donnie said flatly. His eyes flew wide open, and he gasped a bit at what just came out of his mouth. He really didn’t wanna say it out loud, but it just…came out. Even Leatherhead was a little spooked, it was a tone he had never heard from his terrapin friend. He sounded almost, bitter and childish. “What are you talking about? You don’t own who?” As soon as he said it, it’s like the answer came right to the front of his mind, but it still didn’t make sense. “Are you…talking about Sasha?” Hearing her name come from Leatherhead’s mouth brought Donnie back to reality, and brought back his earlier frustration. That’s when he finally looked up at the taller reptile, with a face that made Leatherhead actually step back for a second. “Look, Leatherhead. I-I…need you to be honest with me!” Donnie started, he looked like a mixture of determination, worry, and possibly anger. “Of course my friend…” Leatherhead’s brows turned down in concerned confusion.

Donnie sucked in a breath, clenching his fist before finally breathing out, a slight shake coming from the puff of air. “Are and Sasha…involved at all?” The words felt painful coming from his lips, the meaning of which almost made a tear come to his eyes. Even his voice hitched as he spoke. He trusted Leatherhead so much, he was one of his closest friends. For sure he knew how he felt about Sasha, even without being told directly! And if he was having a relationship with her while knowing this, it was a betrayal on a level he hadn’t dealt with before. Leatherhead’s eyes went wide as the words finally met his ears, his jaws gaping open in an attempt to speak. “W-what? Have you gone mad?” “Just please answer me Leatherhead!” Donnie snapped back, he was trying his best to sound tough, like he wasn’t about to cry. And still trying not to be heard by the others. “I-I don’t know what you’re going on about friend! What Sasha and I have is purely platonic. Nothing more! Where on earth would you get the idea otherwise?” Leatherhead asked, but Donnie didn’t answer back, he just stood there, keeping eyes contact with him. That’s when it hit him.

“This is about her sitting on my lap…” he stated, his voice starting to sound less startled and more cold. If the Croc was being honest, he was kinda offended by the implications this question brought on. “And the touching and the feeding you popcorn…” Donnie added, starting to sound a bit more argumentative. A growl started to form in Leatherhead’s voice now, “You can’t be serious Donatello! I would never-“ Before he could finish his words, Sasha’s voice coming from the doorway spooked both of them. They whipped their heads to see Sasha standing there clutching a couple of chip bags that were now rolled up and clipped shut. She had a confused look on her face, looking back and forth between the two. “Did I interrupt something?” She asked.

“So…she didn’t hear anything…”

The thought alone made Donnie relax a little bit and he stammered out a response. “N-No nothing really.” Sasha squinted a bit at him, then looked at Leatherhead, who straightened up at her gaze. “Yes, nothing really too pressing.” Yeah, she didn’t buy that for a second, looking back and forth between the two again. “Alright then…well…I’ve got these leftover chips. Where would you like me to put them Donnie?” She asked. Donnie stuttered a bit but approached her “I’ve got it for you!” He took them from her arms and walked over to a random cabinet and shoved them in there. “Ah! I s-see…thanks…” Sasha said, feeling a little weird now. It was clear the two were in the middle of a conversation, one she wasn’t welcome to, so she made herself scarce. Sasha then stretched and yawned, “Well then, I’m just gunna…uhh start getting our blankets ready Leatherhead!” She chirped. “Thank you Sasha! I’ll be over to help in a minute!” Leatherhead nodded her way, prompting the turtle to give him a side glance. Sasha nodded back, giving the two of them another look before walking off.

There was silence once more between them, before Leatherhead huffed and looked back down at Donnie. The Turtle already looking back up at him. “I don’t know what is going on with you my friend, but I’d never willingly hurt you. I’d hope that after what happened with bishop and your transformation, I would have proven myself more then loyal to you and your brothers.”

“Ouch…he really had to go there…”

Donnie bristled a bit at that. It had happened a while back. And while he didn’t remember anything that happened during it, from everything Leatherhead and his brothers told him, he was a lot to deal with. He didn’t know if Sasha had been told the story of that or not, but the thought of her knowing made him cringe a bit. With that, Leatherhead went back to the dishes, turning his back to Donnie.

✨💛💜✨

After getting something cold to drink from the fridge, Donnie left the kitchen to see everyone getting settled down for the night. Including Sasha, who was making a big spot on the floor for Leatherhead. A smaller spot lay right next to it. Sasha, looked up for a split second to see him staring. Her face becoming a bit flustered. Donnie bit his lip and quickly walked over to his bedroom. Raph happened to look up and see him making a beeline for his room and let out a quick “Yo Donnie!”, prompting the purple clad turtle to stop dead in his tracks, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment. “What are you doing? We agreed on a full crew sleep over!” He had to think fast, come up with an excuse, any excuse that would keep him out of the same room where Sasha and Leatherhead would be laying together.

“Oh uhh, yeah I know! I-I was just gunna work on something real quick, just till I get sleepy! Then I’ll join you guys!”

Donnie chirped, just as Leatherhead came out of the Kitchen. He turned his head just in time to meet eyes with the Croc once more, then he looked back at the others, the ever friendly smile still on his face. “Promise! You guys just go ahead without me!” The others looked at one another confused, meanwhile Sasha just looked at him confused, ears tilted low. Leatherhead himself looking at the turtle with a stern stare. With that, Donnie booked it into his room and shut the door behind him, breathing in a sigh of relief, shell against the door.

After his retreat the others decided to play a few card and board games to wear themselves out. But the whole time, Sasha seamed a bit, distracted. Leatherhead had to get to the bottom of this. It was clear now to him that something had to have gone down between both of his friends. It was the only way to explain Donnie’s sudden jealousy. So after excusing himself to the kitchen, he gestured for Sasha to come with him. Sasha was confused, but agreed, as she was pretty thirsty. Once she entered the kitchen, Leatherhead was leaning against the countertop, staring right at her with an expectant look on his face. She flinched a bit, but then tried to play it cool. “H-hey big guy, what’s up?” “I was hoping you would know.” Leatherhead responded flatly, letting his thick tail flop loudly on the ground behind him. “Know about what? I don’t fallow.” Sasha asked, now genuinely curious and a bit annoyed. Leatherhead was quite for a moment, looking like he was trying to choose his words carefully. “Donatello is acting strange, and I was hoping you’d be able to tell me why.” Sasha raised a brow, her lips turning into a frown, “Well, yeah, he’s acting weird. But why would I have anything to do with it? The more likely thing is that whatever it was you two were talking about in here earlier is what set him off.” Sasha shot back, crossing her arms, “Maybe I should be asking YOU why he’s acting weird.”

Leatherhead snorted loudly, narrowing his eyes at the feline. “You know, Michelangelo told me he overheard you two talking earlier in here…” Sasha seemed to freeze as her eyes widened, her face somehow starting to burn with embarrassment. She gulped, but tried to play it off, though her tone wasn’t convincing at all, “W-What did he hear?” “He didn’t give any details, said that the two of you were far too quiet to be understood. But whatever it was, it was charged. So to speak.” Sasha’s eyes looked down at the floor, as she absentmindedly sighed. Both with relief and frustration perhaps. Then her eyes looked back up at Leatherhead, still a bit miffed at this interrogation, “Still not sure where you’re going with this then.” Leatherhead hummed a little under his breath, before deciding it was better to be blunt about this. “Donatello seems to be a bit jealous with our relationship.”

Sasha’s face went from annoyed to being downright stunned in a matter of seconds. And she just stood there, mind spinning like a video game loading screen, before words finally started forming in her throat, “I-I w-what? How does that work? What do you mean by our ‘relationship’!?” Sasha asked, in a hushed but clearly angered tone. Doing her best to keep the others in the living room from hearing. Leatherhead shrugged, “He just really seemed to be upset with how close we seemed. Especially physically. Had a problem with you sitting in my lap during the movie and handing me popcorn.” Sasha shook her head and started rubbing her temples in frustration. A hissing sound escaping her lips. “I told him that he should be able to trust me, given our history together. But I wanted to know if there was actually something going on between the two of you that I should know about. Because I’m clearly missing something.” Leatherhead added. Sasha huffed, now crossing her arms. Having her back turned now at the Croc.

Even from behind her, he could see her staring at the ground, her tail and ears twitching with aggravation. Clearly thinking. He gave her a few moments, before her ears drooped in defeat and she sighed, “Promise me! This doesn’t leave this room!” She looked back at him over her shoulder. Leatherhead silently nodded. Sasha then turned to face him, eyes still low to the ground and arms crossed in front of her, but now her cheeks actually started to show a slight pink hue. “D-Donnie sorta…asked me out…” She muttered.

There was a pause, and Leatherhead’s eyes slowly widened.

“Oh!” He said, finally putting two and two together. Sasha growled and her eyes snapped up at him, she wasn’t sure why, but his almost lackluster reaction to this news pissed her off. “Oh! Just Oh!?” “Sorry! Sorry I just wasn’t expecting that! You mean like…asked you out! As in a date?” Leatherhead asked. Sasha’s irritation dropped a bit and she shrugged, “He said we didn’t have to call it that. Just two friends hoping to get closer to one another and understand their feelings more…” She muttered, looking back down at the floor. Leatherhead raised and eyebrow at that, a slight smirk tugging at his lips, “That sounds a lot like a date.” “That’s exactly what I said.” There was another pause.

“So, did you say yes?”

“No…”

“You rejected him?”

“What? No! W-we got interrupted before I could give him an answer…”

“Ooohhhhh…” he said, looking off to the floor. Mulling over this new information. Now Donnie’s attitude made a lot more sense. To pour your heart out and finally ask out the girl you’ve been crushing on for the last few months, only to then have no clear answer and watch as she gets closer to another dude. And his close friend at that! He’d be a bit miffed too. Maybe even violent. Though, Sasha can’t really be held responsible for this alone. “So what did you end up telling him?” He asked, finally looking back at her. “I told him that we would talk more about it after the movie. But…then I saw you two in here talking, and now Donnie seems awfully upset…” Sasha responded, leaning against the counter. Leatherhead sighed, This whole thing was a bit of an emotional mess. And communication would be the obvious answer. “You need to tell him your decision tonight. Irreparable damage could be done to your relationship if you don’t let him know soon. And frankly, I can’t stay. I’ve never seen Donatello so angry before, and while I won't hold it against him, if I stay the night, I’ll only make it worse…” Leatherhead muttered. Sasha’s ears drooped, he was right. This needed to be settled soon.

With that, Leatherhead left the room with Sasha closely following. He said his goodbyes to the others, but explained that he had to head back home to be with Professor Honeycutt.

As he left, Donnie peaked ever so slightly out of his door, to see Leatherhead leaving…with Sasha close behind him. It stung, he couldn’t deny that! But, he also couldn’t blame them. After being the kind of ass he was being, he’d be surprised if either of them wanted to talk to him ever.

“So much for…getting closer and figuring things out…”

With regret and shame in his heart, he slumped back over to his bed and flopped down onto it.

✨💛💜✨

A few hours had passed since Donnie passed out, and he looked over at the clock across the room. “2:30 a.m…” he muttered, yawning as he did so. He felt his mouth was dry and his head seemed to hurt quite a bit. “Should probably get some water…” he thought, before remembering that the others were still in the living room, and that he had promised to come out to join them all. He cringed, guilt tugging at his nerves. He tiptoed over to the door and peaked out again, relieved to find everyone had fallen asleep. The pressure of them badgering him was now gone, and replaced with a new fear and mission. “Get to the kitchen and get some water without waking them.” He thought.

As silently as he could, he cracked the door open and stared tiptoeing his way to the kitchen, putting his ninja training into practice. Only stopping shortly to look over at the entrance to the Lair, more guilt seeping in as he remembered seeing Leatherhead and Sasha leaving together. But, he got to the kitchen without waking anyone, and he quietly got a small cup and turned the faucet on. After filling his cup, he peaked out of the kitchen, and after seeing that the coast was clear, he tiptoed back to his room.

He turned to softly close the door behind him, but as soon as he turned back to look at his bed, he saw Sasha sitting there. Blue eyes staring right at him in the dark room. The surprise alone of someone being there, made him flinch and almost scream, but he was stopped when Sasha zipped off the bed and was now in front of him, covering his mouth with the back of her hand. “Shhhhh! It’s me, relax!” She whispered harshly. After a few seconds of hyperventilation, Donnie blinked a bit and relaxed, Sasha then moved her hand away from him and stepped back. “W-when did..” he tried asking, but Sasha answered promptly, “About the time you were on your way to the Kitchen. You stopped and looked my way. Thought you saw me, but it didn’t seem like it…” “Oh…I see.” He muttered, then froze realizing that his cup was missing and nearly having a heart attack, thinking that he dropped it and alerted the others. But just as the thought crossed his mind, he saw Sasha holding up the cup in the dark. “Getting yourself a drink after working for so long?” She said softly, a tinge of sarcasm and bitterness in her tone. Donnie’s heart shriveled up a bit. She knew he was lying.

Donnie took the cup from her fingers and chugged it down, but it really didn’t help much, her being here like this made his stomach feel sick. The silence between them was the loudest thing in the world now, and it made Donnie feel so clammy. But he had to say something. But once again, Sasha spoke first. “Leatherhead told me everything…” And just like that, Donnie’s heart dropped to the floor so hard he was surprised it didn’t wake everyone in The Lair. He felt heat rise to his cheeks and he felt tears beginning to come to his eyes. “I-I don’t know what came over me…” he started, “…and I’m sorry…” “I’m not really the one who needs to hear that…” Sasha piped up. “I know, and I plan to tell him sorry in the morning. But, I’m also sorry to you…” Sasha raised an eyebrow at that. Donnie sighed, “I had no right to act Ike that. You didn’t belong to me, you still don’t, and you never will. I was being selfish, entitled, jealous, and…just plain stupid…” he said, taking a seat over by his deck, slumped over, face in his hands.

Sasha kept her eyes on him the whole time, and after hearing that, a soft red started to creep up on her cheeks. She stayed silent for a bit, waiting to see if he would say more. But he didn’t, so she continued, “You’re the furthest thing from stupid Don. Cut yourself some slack. Not every guy out there can admit that sorta thing out loud, ya' know?” Donnie let out a dry chuckle, no humor was there though. “I don’t know if I should be praised so highly. After all…I-I…” his cheeks went dark red before continuing, “I still can’t admit how I feel about you…not to myself, to anyone, and…” his eyes trailed up to her, and seeing her rosy cheeks and blue eyes staring at him, he swallowed his words and just clammed up, looking back down at the floor. Sasha blinked in shock, her mouth slightly agape. But this shock only lasted a moment, and it was replaced with a rush.

Confidence, Determination, and Excitement!

An ever so slight grin came to Sasha’s lips, her cheeks getting warmer. “Well… at the very least I’m glad you plan on apologizing to Leatherhead! I wouldn’t wanna spend the night looking at stars with you if that was gunna be the case.” Donnie softly nodded, the words “Yeah…” muttered their way out of his mouth as he stared at the floor. Until what Sasha said finally clicked in his brain, and his head snapped back up to look at her. She had a soft smile on her lips, a small red tint peaking its way through the fur on her cheeks. Donnie’s eyes started growing wide as his heart started gaining speed in his chest. “W-wait, w-what? Did you just..” he was about to question, but Sasha just nodded softly in response. “REALLY?!” Donnie said, almost shouting, before noticing how loud he was and flinching, bringing his hands up to his mouth, clamping it shut. He quickly got up and rushed around to his door and peaked back out into the living room. Everyone was still sound asleep, and he sighed in relief.

Donnie closed the door back behind him, and faced back to Sasha. A sheepish grin pulled at the corners of his mouth, “I-I..I’m happy you’re up for it.” Sasha let a small giggle out, crossing her arms in front of herself, “Well, I was always up for something like this, but finding an activity that didn’t necessarily involve being all ‘Sciencey’ and what not was a bit difficult. Especially finding something we’d both like equally.” Donnie nodded in agreement, having had the same thoughts before talking with April about all this. Happy to see he wasn’t alone in that. “But…Stargazing actually sounds really fun! Used to do that all the time back home. And…it’s pretty romantic…” The heat on her cheeks getting stronger as those words came from her lips. Don wasn’t sure if that was a bad reaction or if she liked the idea of that, so he reiterated his earlier statement, “Y-yeah…I know. But again, we don’t…have to call it a date if that makes it too…well…you know.” “Y-Yeah, I know….” There was a very tense pause between them, before Sasha spoke up again. “Well then…Uhhh…” she stuttered out, looking at him, almost like she wasn’t sure what to do next. Her arms now kinda lifted like she wanted to reach out to him, almost like a hug or maybe something else. But she quickly shook her head and brought them back down to her sides, “Y-you have a good night, ok?”

Donnie was about to protest a bit, after seeing that, but decided not to try and press his luck. The girl he’d been crushing on for a while now had just agreed to go out with him. He wasn’t about to try anything stupid now! He softly nodded, “Y-yeah… you too Sasha…”

✨💛💜✨

With that everything was set in motion! Splinter was told about his plans and his blessing was given, though not without the embarrassing implication that he “Expects that they’re not going to do anything that would be irresponsible.” Donnie promised no such thing would get even close to happening. Not that the idea hadn’t crossed his mind before in a few dreams he’d wish would leave him alone. And of course April knew about the plan. The only one’s not in the loop where Casey & his brothers! And if he had anything to say about it, none of them would ever know about it. Though hiding the fact that he’d be gone for about a week was gunna be impossible.

For the next few days, Sasha and Donnie texted back and forth, disguising the details of the trip. Sasha was a little surprised to find out that it wouldn’t just be a single night out alone with him, but it would actually be a six day long trip! One day to make it there, two days hike out to where they would actually be star gazing, Two days back to the farmhouse, and then a one day trip back to the city! This made Sasha just a tad bit more worried about the idea, and it made a pit form in her stomach.

“Oh god…am-am I gunna be able to handle being alone with him for that long...?”

Sasha looked down at her claws, noting the sharp nails again. The memory of the other night where she accepted his offer replaying in her head again for the 30th time that day. She was about to hug him, but she had to stop herself again. Those feelings, Those thoughts, those…urges, they showed no sign of stopping. And it really started to scare her more. Worried about how she would handle it all, she went to Leatherhead for advice. If it was this hard to hold back being all cooped up, she could only imagine how much harder it would be to keep herself under control while not only being out in nature again for the first time in months, but it was also spring time. The Time of Passion for a lot of species, including themselves. Leatherhead assured her she’d be fine, but if she really felt uncomfortable, she could just change her mind about going.

But no, Sasha snorted, “I can’t keep being a coward. And I’ve already gotten this far. I might as well see how this goes. And I trust Donnie, so I need to start trying to trust myself.”

Finally the day came, and with it, butterflies galore for both of them. Donnie was in his room, getting his final preparations ready. All the gear he’d be taking with them laid out over his floor. “Let’s see…Blankets, Pillows, Telescope, Flint, Matches, Water Canteen, Notebooks…” He muttered to himself, before a knock at his door spooked him. “Hey yo, Donnie! You in there bro?” called out Raph’s muffled voice from behind the door. Donnie panicked a bit and quickly started to shove the items into his duffle bag, “Uhhh, j-just a minute Raph! I’m here!” Raph raised a brow at that, “The heck does that mean? The hell are you-“ Raph asked as he opened Donnie’s door anyways to see his brother haphazardly slamming his duffle bag under his desk and him quickly plopping his butt into his deck chair. There was a pause while Donnie tried playing it cool, “Oh hey! Sorry about that Raph, I was just…uhhh…you know…reorganizing my stuff…” trailing off in the last part a bit. Both in a way that made it sound like he was questioning what was coming out of his mouth and instantly regretting it. He had been able to hide the trip from his brothers for the whole week, but this is where shit was gunna hit the fan.

It was pretty obvious that Donnie was lying, he was never good at it! Raph’s eyes flicked down at the duffle bag and then back up at his brother, then they narrowed, “You always stuff your bag full of your crap when you ‘Reorganize’ things?” He asked, really not amused. “I do now.” Donnie stated, quickly rushing past his brother. If he was gunna be getting ready for this trip and getting the snacks packed, he was gunna have to do it now while he still could. But Raph wasn’t letting him go that easy. The whole week leading up to today, he, Leo, and Mikey had been feeling like something was up with him and Sasha! Big time! Mikey said that during the sleepover, he overheard Sasha and Donnie talking in his room, but couldn’t exactly understand what they were saying. And ever since that, the two of them have been a lot weirder around each other. They could be seen starring at one another more often, they’d be whispering to one another, and it seemed like the super awkward air they had between them was nearly gone almost over night! And now, this morning, Donnie hadn’t come out of his room and was now packing a bag with god knows what!

“Like Shell you do! The heck is up with you today?” Raph asked, fallowing close behind his brother who was heading to the kitchen. “I have no clue what you’re talking about…” Donnie said quickly, trying to shake off the praying. But it wasn’t gunna work. Leo stopped his training to walk over to them, “What’s going on?” Leo asked, concerned that the two might have gotten into another fight. “Donnie here is packing a bag in his room!” Raph said, still fallowing Don and not stopping. “What?” Leo asked, genuinely concerned hearing this. “It’s not how it sounds…” Donnie said while digging through the cabinets for a few sandwich bags and filling them with a few small snacks. “It’s exactly how it sounds! Don’t give us that!” Raph barked back. “What the shell are you doing packing up your stuff Donnie?” Leo asked, now getting really worried. “I’m…going on a short trip…” Donnie’s said, figuring he might as well give them that much. “What!? Why? Where? Does Splinter know about this?” “Any particular order you want those answers in?” Donnie snarked back as he quickly gathered up some juice pouches into a cooler along with the snacks, still not making eye contact with his brothers.

“Stop it Donnie, I’m serious! What is going on?” Leo tried to plead, but it fell on deaf ears as Donnie slid a few extra things from the fridge into his cooler and made his way back out of the kitchen, cooler in hand. “Nothing that you two need to concern yourselves with! I’m just gunna be gone for a week! I’ll be fine!” Donnie said, obviously getting annoyed and stressed by the badgering from his brothers, speed-walking his way back to his room. And just as he saw his open bedroom door, he could see Mikey, looking through his Shell Cell. The duffle bag he had on the floor now open.

“MIKEY!” Donnie shouted in anger as he charged into his room, quickly whipping the Shell Cell from his hands and quickly slinging the duffle bag over his shoulders. “Whoa! Easy Donnie, I was just-“ “Snooping through my things when I’ve told you about a thousand times not to…” Donnie quickly retorted, clearly not amused. “Come on dude! You aren’t telling us what you’re up to, and I KNOW you’re up to something!” Mikey said back, sure he could be a little shit stirrer, but he was just as worried about this “trip” as much as his brothers were. Donnie rolled his eyes, letting out and exacerbated huff, “Look I’m gunna be fine! I have my Bo with me, and if I need anything, I have my Shell Cell!” He said, now packed up and ready to leave. He had already texted Sasha to let her know he was ready to leave.

Walking into the living room area, Donnie just stood there, looking through the Shell Cell at his messages. But his brothers weren’t gunna let up. “Can you at least tell us where you’re going?” Leo asked. “Why, so you three can fallow me? I don’t need any praying eyes!” He brothers all just threw up their brows and that, and looked at one another. They had to admit that fallowing him was kinda on the table, but no way they were admitting it. “What does that mean?” Leo asked. “Yeah!?” Raph asked. “You got some super secret vehicles you’re working on or something?” Mikey asked. Donnie turned to look at his brothers, “What? No! Look, I’m not telling you guys what I’m doing or where I’m going! And that’s final!” Donnie snapped. The brothers had to take a step back for a minute, looking a bit concerned now. Donnie sighed, “Look, I’m sorry, ok? I just need to be alone for this! Splinter and April know where I am if something happens to me. But I’m gunna be fine, I just, need to face this on my own.”

Leo narrowed his brows a bit, Donnie made it seem like a very important mission, “Face what on your own?” But before Leo could get any kind of answer to his question, a voice came up from behind Donnie at the entrance to the lair! “Hey Donnie, sorry for taking a while, I had to find all my old camping ge-“ Sasha chirped as she entered the lair, to see Donnie, Leo, Mikey, and Raph all looking up at her. The latter three looking up at her a bit bewildered. Donnie looking back at her over his shoulder, now smiling. There was a short pause before Sasha let out a nervous chuckle, taking in the scene right in front of her. “Oh…Am I interrupting something?” She asked, a crooked smile crossing her face. “Nope! Just finishing up here!” Donnie chirped back, giving her a sweet smile, his brothers now looking at the two of them with wide eyes and slacked jaws.

Sasha, noticed the light signal from Don that she needed to run, and she nodded. “Ah! I see, well…meet you in the Battle Shell then! See you in a week fellas!” She said, giving them another smile and backing up a bit. And before any of them could react, Sasha turned tail and sped off on foot. Another awkward pause wafted through the room, before Don looked back at his brothers, “Welp, you heard her! And it’s not polite to keep a lady waiting!” “WHAT?” His brothers shouted, but Don was already booking it out of the lair, disappearing in to the darkness of the tunnels. “The shell was that?!” Raph asked, genuinely thrown off by how bizarre and quickly that went down. “I-I don’t know…” Leo muttered, honestly too shocked to really understand what just happened. “Huh…well that explains what I found in Donnie’s bag…” Mikey then starts to giggle a little, that impish smile he gets when he’s just played a prank on someone slowly growing on his face. “What? What’s so funny?” Raph looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow. “Oh nothing…sure we’ll find out in a week…” Mikey grinned.

✨💛💜✨

Donnie was nearly out of breath by the time he made it to the warehouse, where Sasha was already sitting besides the Battle Shell, leaning up against it. But once she heard his feet approaching she straighten up and waved. She looked nervous, but was clearly trying to hide it, “How did it go?” She asked. Donnie shook his head as he approached her, “About as good as I figured it would…” he said. Sasha cringed, “Ooof. Sorry to leave you behind like that…” “No need to apologize, probably would’ve gone way worse had you stuck around.” Donnie admitted, opening the back of the Battle Shell, loading up his duffle bag and cooler. “Fair enough!” Sasha said, also placing her duffle bag next to his. “With that said we should probably get outta here pretty quick before they have a chance to fallow?” “Oh you bet! Hop in!” Donnie said, climbing into the Battle Shell first, turning around once inside, holding out his hand to her. Sasha blinked a bit, surprised by the offer. Her eyes looked up to his and he was giving her a soft smile, cheeks the slightest bit dark. “N-need a lift?” Sasha looked back down at his outstretched hand, lips pressed into a thin line, contemplating and nervous. Finally, she tentatively reached out and gently took his hand. Donnie then pulled her up into the Battle Shell, finally sliding the back hatch behind them down.

Sasha had been in the Battle Shell a small number of times before now, and it always impressed her just how much work went into it. It was one of the first projects Leatherhead ever told Sasha about when she first met him, and was telling her about how brilliant Donnie was. When she finally got to meet him and he decided to show her the Battle Shell, she was smitten with it! Such a beautiful machine made from only scraps and junk. It was truly a sight to behold. Since then, she’s been allowed to help in making adjustments to it. Specifically, Donnie wanted her to help with making it go faster, which the cheetah was more than delighted to help with. Speed was part of who she was after all, and her tips on making the Battle Shell more aerodynamic were incredibly effective. Only now further demonstrated by how fast Donnie pulled it out of the warehouse and into the back allies! When they finally made it onto the main streets of the city, Sasha’s eyes seemed to grow to the size of dinner plates!

“Oh my spots…” She said in amazement. Seeing the city at night from the rooftops was one thing, but during the day it was a whole other beast. The sun was so bright, there were so many people it was impossible to make out any one face in the crowd, and all the noise going on was insane. A stray thought made Sasha wince as her ears drooped and she moved her face away from the windows a little. “Uhhh aren’t you worried someone is gunna like…see us?” She asked, honestly not having thought about that until now. “No need to worry! I tinted these windows to the maximum legal limit! They won’t be able to make us out.” Donnie chimed up. Sasha sighed, feeling a lot better now. “Oh good! Thought I was gunna get us caught there of a sec…” She started shifting her gaze back out the window again, partly to keep looking at the world around them, and partly to try and keep from making eye contact with Donnie. She was hoping that the new sights would keep the butterflies that had been doing back flips inside her stomach down, but that wasn’t happening.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Donnie asked, noticing her wondering look. “It’s definitely something! They have cities in South Africa too, but…nothing like this!” Sasha responded, still not looking back at Donnie. Donnie nodded, his eyes now wondered over from the road to Sasha in the passenger's seat. He didn’t say anything about it before and had no plans to bring it up to her at all out of fear of being seen as a creep, but…something seemed…different about her today. Almost…prettier. Not that he ever thought of her as not pretty, far from it actually. But for some reason, her fur seemed smoother, more groomed then she normally looked. Her coat shining in what little sunlight was making its way through the windows. And…if he wasn’t mistaken, she had to be wearing some kind of perfume, or maybe it was her shampoo. It was a fruity smell, like a watermelon maybe. The smell of which was filling the cab.

“Did she really get all dolled up just for this?”

This staring went on for a bit, till he noticed something, her tail was wrapped around in her lap. Her nails lightly playing with the fur at the ends, hands seemingly shivering. Of course, she was nervous. Not that he blamed her, so was he.

A honk from a car behind them made Donnie jolt a little, focusing his attention back onto the road, nearly making him leap out of his shell. Sasha then glanced back at him, “Y-you get everything you needed?” She asked. “Huh? O-oh, yeah! Well, just the essentials. I was packing over the span of the week so my brothers wouldn’t get suspicious. B-But uhhhh…you saw how well that went.” Donnie answered, his hands gripping the steering wheel every once in a while. Sasha nodded, taking notice of his hands, it was pretty clear he was nervous but was doing his best to seem relaxed. And that’s when a faint hint of sunlight made her notice something else. A short but noticeable glimmer came from behind Donnie.

“D-Did he polish his shell? All for...this? For...me?”

The thought made Sasha’s face burn, though she really couldn’t judge. She was the one that called April and had her come over way earlier in the day before she left to help her get ready. And for moral support.

Feeling like she was starting to stare a bit, she quickly looked away and started trying to think of something to say, keeping her eyes anywhere but at him. “I-I'm really glad you asked me to come with you…” She said, sheepishly. Donnie blinked, glancing at her from the corner of his eye, “Oh…Really?” Sasha nodded, “Yeah, I mean, I not only get to spend a bit more time with…well, you. But I also get to see a forest for the first time!” Donnie took a second for those words to set in his mind, the idea of her never seeing a forest before was baffling, but then logic kicked back in and he nodded. “Oh yeah, that’s right!” “This closest I’ve ever gotten to seeing one was a Jungle, but it wasn’t very big. And of course, pictures online and in books don't really count.” Sasha added. “Well, I’m hoping to show you more then just that! We have a two day hike ahead after we get there. Casey, April, and my brothers have had a few…adventures out there. I can even show you where a spaceship crashed!”

Sasha’s eyes grew wide and her head snapped up to look at him, “Are you for real?” Donnie laughed, “I wouldn’t lie to you! Yeah! I can also show you a nuclear power plant that we shut down because it was killing off some mutant fish folk that were living in the river!” Sasha’s mouth curled into a wide grin, “This so cool! I can’t wait to see it!”

With a little bit of the tension lifted, the rest of their drive out of the city was a little more comfortable. And once they started hitting the wilderness, Sasha’s eyes wondered even more. Without much traffic around them now, Sasha felt safe enough to roll down her window a bit to see everything better. The trees were just beginning to sprout fresh leaves, and the grass seemed to already be bringing out colorful flowers and weeds! The sun was high in the sky, giving the daytime a pleasant warmth, something for the plants and newly awoken critters to soak up to prepare for the new season. The scent of clean spring air hit Sasha’s face, her smile turning soft as she took it in. Her fur seemed to shiver a little, as if a new wave of energy was going through her body.

That’s when another feeling creeped into her body, and she froze a little, a rush of embarrassment and worry slowly starting to take over. Her eyes glanced over at Donnie, who seemed more relaxed, but was still focused on the road. A very slight smile on his face. Taking in his features, Sasha felt that weird tingle in her body and she frowned.

“T-this is…gunna get…weird…”

Sasha started looking down at the floor, thankful that the window was down now so that she could get a soft cool breeze on herself as her cheeks began to burn hard. “H-Hey uhhh, D-Donnie?” She started softly, starting to feel her paws shake. Donnie almost didn’t hear her over the sound of the wind, but his eye’s could see her lips move from the corner of his eye and he turned his head slightly, “Huh? What’s up?” He asked, honestly looking a little concerned now. She didn’t look too hot, and her cheeks could be seen turning red through the fur on her cheeks, “You getting sick? Should I pull over?” He asked. Sasha shook her head, “N-no it’s just…I-I’m a bit worried.” She muttered, her hands coming together in her lap, clamping onto one another tightly. Donnie’s brows curved up, taking quick glances at her, still trying to keep an eye on the road. “What about? If it’s the hike and camping-“ He was cut off pretty quickly. “N-No! I-It’s not that…I-It’s…about me…” Donnie cocked a brow and looked at her for a good long second at that. “What do you mean? Thought you said you weren’t sick.” Sasha grimaced a bit, looking back out the window at the beautiful woods just beyond the road, as if she were looking for a way to put it. “I suppose you could…see it as being ‘sick’, in a way…” She said.

Now that REALLY confused the poor terrapin, but she was clearly getting at something, so he prodded as gently as he could, “Okeeeey…care to explain?” Sasha gulped, “Tell me…W-what does spring usually mean?” Donnie felt like he had to pause and reboot his brain for a moment. The vagueness of that question only making his worry and confusion more tangled. But, he trusted she was going somewhere with this, so he tentatively answered, “Uhhhh, well I think Blooming Flowers, Bugs, Warmer weather, and maybe allergies?” Sasha has to hold back a small laugh at his last statement, but it seemed like he didn’t notice. But the laugh was replaced with a loud sigh, as she started coming to the realization that she was gunna have to spell it out for him. Her face getting even hotter. “It also happens to be the season of procreation for many species…”

"..."

The silence is incredibly loud in the Battle Shell, even the wind coming in through the cracked window seemed to be drowning in it. Donnie’s eyes went wide as a slight heat creeped up into his cheeks, waiting for a second for what she said to sink in. He turned his head slightly her way, only to see her still facing out the window, but her eyes staring right at him. Her cheeks were a bright red, ears drooped and her mouth was in an uncomfortable frown. “…that includes yours and mine.” She concluded, her voice almost hitching, but the statement still hit like a semi-truck. That’s when Donnie’s face started turning bright red and he quickly looked away just to try and save himself from every thought racing into his head at once. But, it was too late! He really wasn’t sure what to say to that!

“I-I uhhh, w-well, I mean…you’re right. But-but that d-dosen’t mean anything. W-we’re not like…well normal animals! We have more control!” He said, just trying to get something said out loud. Though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself and her, but it didn’t, as a hoard of butterflies started churning in his stomach again. Nights worth of dreams finally flooding his brain with any and all scenarios his teenaged mind could conjure. Sasha just whimpers a bit, shifting in her seat so that she’s scooted a bit further from her turtle friend, but still facing him. Her eyes started drifting down to the floor, “Y-Yeah, I know. B-but it’s less you I’m worried about, and…m-more me…” Donnie glanced at her, and she continued, “Being a cheetah, we a-aren’t that tough, but we’re still big cats. And cats are…p-pretty…aggressive during this kind of season…” a tinge of worry coming across Donnie’s face a little hearing this. “And it get’s more intense when w-we’re…in our element. So to speak…”

“Y-your not gunna…like…hurt me, or anything like that are you?” Donnie asked, honestly a little confused by her words. The way she was talking it was like she was scared she might try to eat him. Sasha’s eyes flew up and she looked really scared, “My Spots! N-no! Never in my life! It’s just…remember that night how I-I…” she trailed off, looking down. She slowly opened her paw to look at it. He knew what she was getting at almost immediately, bringing his own hand up to his cheek, it getting warm again. “Y-yeah…I remember…” “When I’m…in my element, I tend to be a…bit more bold. And I start to show a bit more of myself…” she continued, “You’ve likely noticed before…” Donnie thought about it, and she did seem to be a bit more open when they’d be out on missions, or in the heat of battle, or even just when she’s in the zone while in the lab. Calm, tactical, and cheery most of the time, but Donnie started seeing glimpses of something else during these other occasions. A Sly playfulness here or a small trace of bashfulness there, little peeks into Sasha’s true personality.

Donnie let his mind wander a bit, before Sasha sighed, “I’m sorry for having to bring it up NOW, but… I didn’t wanna seem like I didn’t wanna…go out with you like this…” she said, her eyes glancing back out the window, leaning against the door with one arm up against it, the other on her lap and cradling her stomach. “N-no! It’s ok! I-I’m happy you’re being honest with me! That’s the whole point of this trip after all! To get to know each other more!” Donnie said, reassuring her. A slow nervous smile passed over Sasha’s lips, “…just promise me that… if I get too…” her cheeks turned bright red and her ears lowered “…Frisky…, you’ll stop me if I cross a line. And p-please don’t…take it too personally…”

The word ‘frisky’ coming from Sasha of all folks made Donnie nearly laugh, but he held it in immediately. “Of course! I promise, nothing you could do would cross a line for me! But, uhhhh, I suppose the same should be said for me…” Sasha looked at him, an eyebrow raised. Donnie nervously chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck some, “I’m assuming you know how turtles get w-when…uhhh…” he trailed off, cheeks burning immediately. Sasha smirked a little, nodding.

Of course, Sasha was always more into the Biology branches of science, it was something he admired about her. He swallowed, “R-right, so…stop me if I cross a line too.” Sasha nodded again, “Deal… though…” a light devious glint hit her eyes “I don’t think I’ll need to worry about you. I know more about your body than you do about mine…” Donnie eyes grew at the sound of that, and his looked over her way. She was blushing still, a slight smirk on her face, but she was leaning against the window again. Staring off at the passing trees. The butterflies in his stomach were going insane now, his face practically wanting to melt off.

"W-what the shell?"

Quickly looking back at the road so they wouldn’t crash, Donnie kept driving. Sasha felt pleased with that, but the pit in her stomach still hadn’t let up. She had been honest with him. Right?

✨💛💜✨

After about another hour or so, they finally pulled up the long dirt road leading up to the large Farmhouse. Sasha let out a long whistle, looking at the size of the property and seeing the woods just beyond it. “Talk about some fresh air! This place is so…beautiful!” She said, taking off her seat belt, still keeping her eyes trained on the tree line. Donnie huffed out a small laugh, “I know right! Plenty of wide open space for us to just stretch our legs a-“ The sound of Sasha’s door opening and her hopping out made him stop. The speedy pattering of her feet on the grass was so quick that Donnie hardly started unbuckling his seatbelt yet. By the time he finally climbed out, he turned his attention to the back of the Battle Shell, and Sasha had already made it halfway across the property. She was looking all over the place, slowly turning, her tail softly flicking behind her. She was wonderstruck!

A soft smile spread on Donnie’s lips as he watched her. “I guess she really HAD been needing some time out in nature.” Sasha only stopped moving when her eyes landed on the sight of the distant hills, a huge smile spreading on her face. A present spring breeze blew through the trees and grass, and as it made its way into her fur, Sasha closed her eyes and took in a huge breath of it. The tips of her ears and tail now softly twitching. She then let out with a sigh, the wind suddenly changing direction and strength along with it, almost in sync. That’s when her ears flicked to something behind her, and she quickly turned to see Donnie approaching her, carrying both his and her own bags. “Huh, that wind gust was pretty strong!” He chuckled, getting closer and holding her bag out to her.

Sasha seemed to flinch at him taking notice of that and her ears drooped a bit, but she quickly shook that off and took her bag from him. “O-oh yeah, you know! These Spring winds they…uhhhh…always seem to…you know…move with the hearts of those who let it in.” Donnie raised a brow at that, “I’ve never heard that one before…” he said, a small smile on his face. While it was strange, Sasha always seemed to know a few weird sayings, most of which were kinda funny but mostly endearing. Maybe even a little spiritual at times. “Y-yeah, it’s something my Grandmother used to say…” She said, seeing to be in a hurry to stop talking about it, quickly slinging her bag onto her shoulders. “Well, I hope you’re ready to move like the wind, cause we’ve got a LOT of ground to cover before we make it to were we gotta be.” Donnie piped up, tilting his head in the direction of the woods just ahead of them.

She looked at him of a second, her ears perking back up again, the cat-like smirk returning to her lips, “Born ready my terrapin friend! Lead the way!” Donnie walked ahead a bit, “Well, We’ll have to move a bit stealthily from here for about a mile through these woods! Casey has a neighbor here who once sent his pitbull after Mikey.” “Oh! Crazy Man Hatchet?” Donnie froze for a second, looking back at her surprised that she knew. “How did-“ Sasha shrugged, “Mikey told me the story! You three saved a furry green man thing and it’s baby.” “Right…well, I’m hoping we won’t be seen like he was. But, like I said, we only got to get past a mile and then we should be in the clear.” Sasha nodded, “You got it…” she started walking ahead of him, only stopping to get right next to him, giving him a playful bump on his shoulder “Ninja Boy…” The way her voice came out was so sultry and almost teasing. Donnie froze a bit, feeling her soft tail brush his arm as she passed him. The tingle from such an action traveled through his whole body, making him shutter as his face began to burn. “Oh shell…is THIS what she meant by ‘being bold’?” He thought to himself, staring at Sasha, slack-jawed as she walked ahead of him. Noticing the way her tail swooshed, moving in time with her steps and the sway of her hips. He gulped, “If so, I just hope I can handle all of…that!”

The cheetah looked back at him, over her shoulder, “Race you to the other side?” She shouted back, a sly smirk on her. The return of that competitive spirit in her, and the quickening of her steps made Donnie flinch, before springing to life himself. He smirked and ran to catch up, “Sure, but aren’t I supposed to lead the way!?” He yelled back, with a laugh in his voice.

(To Be Continued...)

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acourtofladydeath · 1 year ago

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🎵💚 There’s frost on the moon and snow on the ground, but with you around there’s spring in my heart ❤️🎵

Hi it’s Santa!

I hope you’re doing well 🥰 Did you get up to anything for Halloween? (and if so what did you dress up as?)

Now that it’s November I’m personally so ready for it to be Christmas and I’ve been daydreaming about your gift.

I wanted to ask if you have any headcanons about the other Vanserra brothers, their relationship with Eris, Eris’s relationship with Beron and with his mom, Eris’s hounds?

And regarding Azriel, your headcanons about his shadows, his childhood, his mother, his time working under Rhys’s father, his relationships with Rhys and Cassian?

Lay it all on me. Do not hold back. Feel free to deviate and elaborate to your heart’s content. Your responses are what I’ll be harvesting details of their backstories from (I want to incorporate as many of your headcanons as possible since it’s your gift after all.) I’m always on the lookout for opportunities to ramp up the angst!

— Santa ❤️

Hi Santa!! So nice to hear from you!

I dressed as Peter Pan for Halloween this year, went to my lectures on campus, saw my professor's baby (he was dressed as an adorable little dragon. His parents were very excited for my costume but he, as a 10 month old, did not get it), and then did meal prep while watching ghost hunting videos.

It is 100% Christmastime, with a 3 day break for Thanksgiving mid-November and I'm so ready. I may start decorating this weekend.

Santa, I'm gonna need you to buckle up for the answers to these questions cuz HERE WE FUCKING GO.

**note that these headcanons do not always work together, at the same time, or in the same fic. I just have lots of feelings on how this could/would go. I have many thoughts on many characters, and my interpretation of a character tends to change from fic to fic. Personification is different between fics and I love exploring different histories and interpretations of characters to see all of the "what ifs" and "okay buts" of fandom. This exploration and variety is part of what I love most about fanfiction. Below are some of my recurrent headcanons for these characters and their history, again these are my own opinions and not mean to be taken as the only interpretation or even the only interpretation I like to read/write.

Eris & The Vanserras

Eris and LOA are very close in age, leading to a very close relationship between the two of them, but also a lack of parenting in favor of friendship.

Eris is considerably older than his other siblings, or at least much more mature, and basically had to help raise them. This led to animosity between the brothers due to his having to order them around for their own damn good and to protect them from their father. He did whatever he could to shield them from Beron. I love exploring how this plays out. If they reconcile, then how? (I think so, and I hope so. I personally explore some of this in my fic And So Our Life Begins, and more so in the ASOLB spin off A Second Chance. They all have names and personalities and ).

He has done more to protect his mother and brothers than they will ever know, and he would rather that they didn't know because he doesn't want them taking pity on him. (I explore this a bit in my fic: The Soft Heart & The Shadow)

Eris basically raised Lucien himself, but instead of animosity, it lead to a very close relationship between the two despite the age gap. I also HC that Eris saw Lucien had power that was definitely not of Autumn, and he and LOA got in a fight about it. Not because he's mad she did it, but because he's scared about protecting them both.

Eris loves his hounds. He's very strict with them, but they're also some of the only people (besides Lucien and occasionally LOA) that Eris can let down his mask around, and they're some of the only living things that have seen the real him before he eventually opens up to Azriel. Because of this Azriel interacting with the hounds allows him to see more of Eris when he's still very skeptical of the male, and is part of why he's convinced to trust him and be his mate. I feel like the hounds are trained similarly to service dogs. When they're outside Eris's personal cabin/room, they're constantly working and putting on their best behavior, but when they're in that personal space, they're the most loving little affectionate puppies that ever existed.

Beron hates his son. Let's get that straight right now. HOWEVER I wonder if he respects the lengths Eris is willing to go to maintain his own power and protect his brothers, even if he hates that he's doing it. Like he might hate what Eris is doing with that power, but at least Eris has the wits and desire to USE that power. Just food for thought there with that one.

Azriel & his past

Azriel hates his father and brothers, and I think this is likely a large part of why he feels about Illyria as strongly as he does. He saw the worst of Illyria in those males, and I wonder if he has a hard time dissociating that awful image from the image of what Illyria could be, and the positive males that already do exist within it (people like Balthazar).

Azriel was a pawn for Rhys's father. He wasn't a person, just a tool to be used, and I think he still sees that interpretation of himself and his worthiness to this day. I think it greatly affects his self worth and his humanization of himself and his feelings. He struggles to see his value as a person with valid thoughts and emotions, because for so much of his life his value was that of a "thing". He sees himself as a weapon because it's what he had to be to survive within Rhys's father's court. I don't think he's ever had time, opportunity, or even a thought that he could be something else. I feel like his experience going from prisoner to training camp to expendable Night Court tool has greatly affected his mental health and his ability to stand up for himself. He will do what's asked of him because it's what is expected, even if it will break him in the end.

Azriel's Shadows came to him to protect him from the shadows and to protect him from himself. I think the darkness he had to get to in his own mind to pull those shadows to himself is deeper than he will ever admit. I love seeing the shadows have their own personalities and actions separate from what Az asks them to do. They're pesky little beasts that he loves dearly, but also can annoy the shit out of him when they don't do as they're told.

Azriel loves his mother and will do whatever he can to protect her, but neither feels like they can fully open up to the other. They're so worried about protecting each other they don't feel like they can truly reveal their feelings. She won't talk about her traumas, and he wont' talk about his because they don't want to burden each other. But they both know the traumas exist and want to try and help the other the best they can even without having the full story.

Azriel is a chronic pain sufferer from his hands. He doesn't say anything to anyone, and he only goes to Madja when it's so painful he literally can't function. I feel like he hides this too well, and even if he didn't hide it, he wouldn't accept help. I don't think he knows how to accept help.

Azriel & The Bat Boys (& Nesta)

I feel like Azriel feels like an outsider in most relationships of his life because of his past, but truly loves his found brother. I wonder if because of Az's relationship with Rhys's dad, he sometimes struggles with the dichotomy of working for someone who does actually care for him and sees him as a person.

I'm not sure Rhysand actually knows the extent to which his father used Azriel, and I wonder if this affects their working and friendly relationship. This is not a fully fleshed out headcanon for me, but it's an idea I keep coming back to.

I definitely think that Cassian and Azriel are closer to each other than they are to Rhys. I don't think this necessarily in a bad way, but with the power/boss dynamic and the fact that Cass and Az spend more time out in the field, in Illyria, and spent the entirety of UTM together there's a closeness there that they don't have with Rhys.

Look, y'all can disagree with me on this, but Cass and Az have most definitely fucked. It's canon that all 3 fucked people in the same room together, but I feel like Cass and Az have fucked each other and fucked other people together. IDK how you're a 500 year old anything and aren't very sexually open.

If Azriel is going to open up to anyone emotionally it's going to be Cassian or Nesta.

Nesta is not a bat boy, but I HC that she and Az are best friends. I think they are the only two in the IC who can truly understand the depths of each other's pain. Their traumas are so deep and profound, and neither really wants to admit their weaknesses, but together they don't feel so alone and can maybe start to heal. I think Eris can also be this person for Az and Nesta. I'm so here for any type of fic that discusses their pain (I regularly inhale @kale-theteaqueen's fic The Whole Truth because it gives me all of the feels and is so accurate to how I see Nesta and myself in Nesta. The way Azriel and honestly most of the IC are depicted in that fic. I also feel like their fic Burning From the Inside Out also depicts them (Nesta and Azriel specifically) closely to how I view them. And as a chronic pain sufferer myself, it's near and dear to my heart. Basically just read their masterlist, because I also reread Of Death and Resurrection regularly for the same reasons listed above, and I love the Rhysta friendships they develop as well.

Okay. Could I keep going? YOU FUCKING KNOW IT. Should I? Probably not, I've spent way too long writing this up already and I've gotta cut myself off so I can work on my WIPs. I'm still probably forgetting something I'll remember later on...

Please let me know if it's okay to keep recommending you fics when I answer your questions, sometimes it just feels like the best way to address them. As usual, please let me know if you'd like me to further describe/elaborate on anything here! I hope you're doing well, and it's so great to hear from you!! I'm really looking forward to this reveal and the fic!!

#i spent entirely too long writing this up #secret santa #secret santa 2023 #acotar gift exchange #acotar gift exchange 2023 #acotar #acowar #acosf #azris

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leviathanlazarus · 1 year ago

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Reaching for Stardust - Part XI

Read Looking For Space here / Playlists / Read RFS on wattpad

Word Count: ~6500

Warnings: drinking, drugs, sexy time

A/N: I had a blast writing this part. Hope you enjoy <3

---

The bit of spring that had been left to us was gone in an instant. Our world got hotter, the sun got brighter, and then we were in the thick of summer and I kept having to pointedly remind myself of what day it was nearly every single day, because each one of them went by so quickly that I couldn’t keep up. Josh had had two summer courses to teach, thankfully, since we needed the money even if it wasn’t a lot. Whenever that doubt about his “real” desire crept up on me, I had to also remind myself that he was very obviously happy. Not just happy with the fact that we were getting married, but happy that there weren’t any secrets or side-plots left untouched. We were back to talking about every little thing all the time. Lots of wedding talk of course, but also the same rich, esoteric conversations Josh so easily opened up and the same humorous tirades full of our shared and separate experiences and inside jokes that left us in stitches, cackling and falling into one another wherever we were. Those times ended up being the most fulfilling parts of the summer for me since we’d ended up too busy to immerse ourselves in our usual things as deeply as we were used to. We’d become busy and mostly homebodies, fretting over things that seemed so inconsequential at first but, the more I thought about our wedding, the more I recognized that I really did want everything to be as perfect as possible no matter what.

Summer was then also coming to a rapid close and Josh had been questioning me about what I wanted to do for my birthday for weeks. It was hard for me to think about with my mind so fixated on nothing but the wedding, but when I learned that the boys were going to be home that weekend, a little lightbulb went off.

“I want to have a party,” I told Jake over the phone while I was giving myself a break from scouring the internet for potential honeymoon destinations–that was the biggest thing that was still up in the air. “Like, an old-school Kiszka-Wagner shindig.”

Jake chuckled. “Okay. Where?”

“Well, considering Josh and I are working with like 700 square feet and a limited budget, I was hoping you guys would host it.” I was pacing around the small kitchen of mine and Josh’s apartment, unnecessarily antsy. I knew Jake, Sam and Danny would be interested, especially after their longest string of shows ever. “Consider that your birthday present to me. Just letting me use your house.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” Jake’s words were so simple, almost stoic, but I could hear him smiling through them. “Do the hosts also provide refreshments?”

“You guys get whatever you want. I’m gonna bring booze, too. Lots of it.” I paused, reflecting on what Josh had asked me earlier in the day. “Josh actually really wants to do shrooms.”

I purposefully left that hanging in the air and there was a lingering pause until Jake hummed and said, “Really?”

“Yeah, really. I figured one of you still had a connection for that.”

“What about you? That could be another birthday present.”

“I’m not sure. Right now I know I just wanna get really, really drunk and forget about all this wedding stuff for a night.”

“That can absolutely be done. But I can’t imagine Josh not trying to get you to trip too, and I already know Sam is going to be on your case about it.”

Yes, of course–Sam being the king of trying anything once. Or over and over. “Oh, I’m sure he will be. I’ll consider it.”

“Okay, so, drinks, drugs–I’m assuming everyone wants weed, too.” Jake spoke as if he was writing it down. “Who’s gonna be there?”

“I don’t want like, a full-blown rager,” I told him. “But I want you guys to invite whoever you want. Same for Josh. I’ll just be bringing my girls.”

“Bev? Kirsti?”

“I’m sparing my sister,” I said with a laugh. “But Bev and Jane for sure.”

Jake’s voice got higher as he went, “Oh, Jane?”

I leaned back against the counter with an amused smile on my face. “Jake and Jane. Wouldn’t that be sweet?”

“Oh come on, don’t start.”

It was like I could see the blush on Jake’s cheeks even though I couldn’t actually see him at all. “She thinks you’re really cute. I get the sense you feel the same about her.”

“She is. Why have you been gatekeeping your friends?”

I laughed. “Listen, I tried with Sam and Bev. Maybe I was worried that would happen all over again.”

Jake scoffed. “Please. I’m not Sam.”

“I know, Jake. You’re much more of a gentleman.”

“I am.”

“So does this mean Josh and I can crash at your place?” I asked. I wanted to pry into Jake further about this faraway crush he had on my friend, but I could feel my mind going a mile a minute with more party planning. “Or I can try and rope Kirsti into coming and she can be our long-distance DD.”

“No way, it’s totally cool for you guys to sleep over. You can take Danny’s room and he can bunk with Sam.”

I sighed, still smiling. “God, thanks for doing this, dude. Time’s been flying and I think Josh and I just need a break. How are you guys holding up?”

“We’re doing good, yeah. It’s definitely been a busy summer. You guys should come down here more often.”

“That’d be really nice. I miss you guys all the time.”

“I miss you guys, too. We all miss you. I trust that you’re taking good care of my twin?”

“Always.” I smirked to myself. “I trust you’ll take good care of my friend Jane when you see her?”

“God, I shouldn’t have given myself away,” Jake mumbled.

I laughed again, truly getting the biggest kick out of teasing him. “No, no! It’s so adorable. I even showed her videos of you guys playing–she’s very into it.”

“Alright, I’m hanging up now–”

“No, wait!” I protested, laughing some more. “I’m only trying to help you. Wouldn’t it be sweet if you and Jane got married? Come on, both Kiszka twins married?”

Jake laughed too. “One wedding at a time.”

“Yeah, for real.” I turned around to look out the window–the leaves were changing already in the beginning of September, turning from bright, vivid green to subdued red and orange. “I’m nervous about it, Jake.”

“The wedding? Why?” Jake gave a little snort. “I mean, I can imagine why but–really, why?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m worried I’ll be so stuck on the actual ‘wedding’ part of it and will miss what it’s meant to really be.” I rested my upper body on the counter, propping my chin up in my hand. “God, or even the opposite? I’m nervous about being the center of attention for that long. I love the idea of everyone seeing us together, and everyone seeing Josh especially, but like–I’ve been working on my vows, right? I would have no problem saying any of those words to Josh if it was just the two of us but the thought of saying all of it in front of a bunch of people makes me wanna throw up.”

“Maybe you won’t even notice all the other people around when it’s happening.” Jake said, then I could hear the smirk on his face. “You’ve told me before how ‘dreamy’ his eyes are. How you just get lost in them.”

I rolled mine, but it was true. I had definitely said that and then some. “His eyes are beautiful and sure, maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll just disappear into them. But I’m still nervous.”

“If it helps, I can guarantee you that he’s nervous, too.”

“But he’s so good at seeming like he’s not.”

“No one’s gonna judge you, if that’s partly why you’re nervous. Josh would never allow it.”

“No, I know. I only invited people we all like anyway.”

“Wait, Sam’s not invited?”

I laughed again, loudly, creating an echo in the empty kitchen. “Stop. I love Sam so much. I’m so excited to see all of you guys in your suits. Do you like ‘em?”

“Yes, we do. You’re gonna lose it when you see Josh.”

My face flushed and I covered my face, giggling like a schoolgirl. “I know I am. Oh my god, Jake, I know I am. He’s gonna look so stunning.”

“See? There’s way more to be excited about than nervous.”

I straightened up, looking out the window again. “You’re right. As always.”

–

“You look foxy,” Josh purred, running his hands down my sides once he was done helping zip me up. I was in my birthday party dress–emerald green and sparkly, mini and slightly flared, something Josh had helped me pick out specifically for this event. “A vision,” he added, taking my hand and lifting my arm up to inspect further. “Give daddy a spin.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “No spin, Josh. Not on my birthday. You’ve seen enough.” I moved behind him to get to the closet again, retrieving a cardigan. “You give me a spin when you’re done.” We were matching again, kind of–Josh had opted for an all-white ensemble minus a forest green jacket he’d found just in time to coincide with me, but he was still stuck in his underwear, looking at me.

“I feel comfortable just like this, actually,” Josh proclaimed, positioning himself in front of the full-length mirror, hands on his hips. “Would you be opposed if I declined to wear clothes tonight?”

“I wouldn’t, but I’m not so sure about everyone else.” I moved behind him, pulling him into a hug; my hands crossed over his chest and my ring twinkled in the light. Josh noticed too–his eyes traveled down to the diamond and a small smile curved his lips.

“I was thinking, darling,” he began, holding my hands over his body, swaying slightly. “Would you also be opposed if I had a gold wedding band? Not white gold?”

My hands found his, my fingers trailing over his wrists down to his knuckles. “Hell no. Love that idea, Josh. You look perfect in gold.”

“And in tighty-whities, apparently,” Josh said with a cackle. He whipped around, planted a quick kiss to my lips, then shuffled back to the bed to actually put on real clothes. I sat on the edge to watch and he asked, “So now the real question–are you tripping with me tonight?”

“Honestly, I’m way more invested in watching you trip, babe,” I told him as he pulled his pants on, hopping on one foot momentarily. “The last time was–when? The cabin trip we all went on?”

“Yeah, and Jake pissed his pants because he couldn’t find the bathroom!” Josh relayed with a wild cackle, throwing his head back like it was the absolute funniest thing in the world. He pulled his shirt over his head, curls poking out briefly before his sunny face came through; familiar mischief was in his eyes, directed right at me. “You really won’t? It’d be so much fun.”

“Josh, I am fully prepared to get obliterated by alcohol,” I assured him, to which he did seem to look a bit appeased. “Let’s wait and see how much ‘fun’ we’re all having then.”

“Well, well, well.” Sam was the first to greet Josh and I, walking down the driveway in bare feet and holding a hard seltzer in one hand while his other was hidden behind his back. “Who let you two on the premises?”

“I believe I have birthday privileges, as does my plus-one,” I told him, then waved at his tucked back arm. “And I hope you have another drink back there for me.”

With a wide, toothy and self-satisfied grin, Sam indeed handed me a surprise seltzer. “Boom! Happy birthday,” he said, to which I popped the tab and we cheered one another as Josh grabbed both of our overnight bags and the bags of alcohol we’d packed.

“No, no, nobody help me!” he called out dramatically, one bag over each shoulder, the bags of alcohol dangling from his forearms. When I stepped over to him, he flapped his hands at me. “No, not you! Make Sam do it!”

Sam lounged against the hood of Josh’s Jeep. “Make Jake do it. Or better yet, Danny–what else are those arms of his good for?”

I grabbed Sam’s skinny arm and hauled him off the car. “Come on, we better help if you want your shrooms.”

Sam scoffed. “Hey, I got us the shrooms!”

“And Josh will chow down on your share if you don’t buck up,” I told him, and Sam seemed to take that seriously–he freed Josh of one of the bags of booze and I took the other.

I’d only seen their house a few times before but it was obvious that the boys had done some considerable cleaning up around it. Even just in the small foyer, their shoes were actually arranged on the rack instead of kicked away haphazardly, and the living room smelled like Febreeze. But all of their unique identities persisted in their various pieces of art, literature and music that were showcased on walls, tables and shelves. It felt like a real home. Certainly a real home to a troupe of musicians.

Jake emerged from the kitchen wearing an apron, hair tied back, to which Josh and I both paused and must have shared pointed looks.

“I’m making things,” Jake defended, widening his stance in the doorway.

“Where’s Danny?” I asked. “And can you let me in there so I can put the alcohol down?”

Sam just breezed right past, willowy enough even with the bag on his arm to sidle right past his brother. “Danny’s in here. He’s helping with the cupcakes–isn’t that right?”

When I got inside the kitchen next, Danny was indeed bent over the counter, piping light pink icing from a bag on top of chocolate and vanilla cupcakes. I set my bag down and went to his side to watch. “Wow, Danny–you’re good at this,” I noted. He really was–the little stars were pretty much perfect.

“I wasn’t sure what color you’d want,” he said, pausing,the little plastic bag hovering. “Sam said hot pink but that didn’t sound accurate.”

I patted his shoulder. “I love pink. Any shade will do.” I looked at Jake next. “But seriously, you guys didn’t have to do this. We could have totally made do with some Doritos and Kroger baked goods or something.”

“Nonsense.” Josh was suddenly in there with us, the kitchen officially cramped. “Birthdays are for special things and when’s the last time we were honored with Jake’s chef skills anyway?”

“It’s good to be cooking again,” Jake said, returning to his side of the counter where he was slicing crunchy French bread. “Even though all this stuff is easy. I’m just tired of gas station snacks and fast food.”

“You wanna cater our wedding?” I teased.

Jake chuckled. “You already got a caterer. Josh told me.”

“Damn.” I watched him lay the slices onto a baking tray before drizzling them with olive oil. “You’re both going all out for this. I feel very honored.”

Josh began licking the extra frosting from the spatula Danny had left behind. “It’s going to be a magical night.”

“Did you invite anyone else?” I asked the boys while I pulled out my phone, checking for my girls’ ETA.

“Nope,” Danny said, still bent over to create his sugared masterpieces. “We figured if some of us are tripping, we don’t want a bigger group.”

“Jake also doesn’t want anyone else getting in the way of him and Jane,” Sam remarked, and I caught him smirking at his brother.

I sidled up to Sam and tapped my seltzer against his. “Cheers to that,” I added, to which Jake sighed and shook his head.

By the time we were all multiple drinks, joints and cigarettes into the night, I figured everyone might just end up crashing together. We were all outside on the deck–Bev and Sam seemed to have rekindled something, with them sticking close to one another, their chairs nearly overlapping, deep in some conversation I couldn’t hear over the music from Danny’s speaker. Jake and Jane had successfully started something–they kept making each other laugh, which was adorable. Jake’s relentless charm was working. I just felt bad that I hadn’t brought anyone for Danny, or he hadn’t brought anyone for himself, but then we all started playing drinking games and my anxiety about it began to flow out. Everyone was having a good time and it felt incredible–something so simple, just an easy, unregimented gathering of good friends made the world of difference in my heart.

Maybe there were some things that would never change. Sam was still the worst person to follow during a waterfall move in King’s Cup–he could chug like no one’s business–while Jake was still the most clever during the rhyming card. Danny was always surprising during “never have I ever,” able to zero in on whoever he wanted to take out–usually Sam–and easily get them to drink. And Josh could keep categories going forever, able to name seemingly infinite things from all facets of life.

One thing that I hoped would never change was Josh’s raging passion for excitement, for whimsy, for being silly and wild. Even just observing him throughout the night piqued that admiration I had for him–he knew exactly who he was. I knew that even if we’d been with a group of strangers, he’d be no different. I could have done without him insisting everyone sing “happy birthday” to me, though.

“No, please,” I said, though I was laughing. By this point I was deep into seltzers and tequila, mistakenly matching Sam’s pace. “It’s too cringy.”

“It is not cringy!” Josh protested, bouncing on the picnic table seat, his thigh vibrating against mine. “It’s a tradition and we HAVE to do it.”

“Oh, we have to?” I countered, but it was futile. Danny was standing up, determination strong on his face.

“I’m getting the cupcakes,” he announced, already heading toward the sliding glass doors. “I got candles specifically for this, you know.”

I sighed. “Alright. I won’t argue.”

Somewhat against my will, they all carried out the song. It was funny how the boys could all sing but the girls couldn’t, though I couldn’t either, and I giggled to myself at everyone’s efforts. But I, of course, had a favorite performance–Josh went all in, dramatically bellowing out each word from his chest, his eyes fixed on me with a huge, cheeky smile on his face. I knew he wanted to get me more used to being the center of attention, but he had a way of taking so much for himself which I almost always preferred. In my eyes, he would always be a star.

Danny held the tray of cupcakes topped with lit candles in front of me. “Make a wish!”

The pressure of birthday wishes. What did I want that I didn’t already have and that wasn’t already coming? As hokey as it was, and as much as I knew it was already a given, I thought of it: for Josh and I to live happily ever after.

Cheers and whoops commenced once the candles were blown out and my wish was solidified further. We all dug into the cupcakes with a rabid energy, alcohol and weed fueling a sudden hunger since Jakes’ hor d'oeuvres had been decimated; I looked at him and Danny after the first bite, perplexed by how good they were.

“Holy fuck,” I said. “You guys should make our wedding cake.”

“These really are amazing,” Jane added, clearly impressed by Jake’s skills in the kitchen–she was looking at him like he was made of gold.

“What IS your wedding cake going to be anyway?” Bev asked, licking a stripe of frosting off her cupcake.

“We just decided that last week, actually,” I told her, and everyone really, since the entire group appeared to be invested in the cake. “Chocolate cake with white frosting. A pear compote or something in the middle? And we wanna have like, stars piped on it or something. Something with stars.”

“Sounds pretty,” Jane said.

“Very you,” Bev concurred.

“I hope so. We gotta find a baker.” I took another bite, already knowing I was going to have to take a second one. If our wedding cake was as good as Jake and Danny’s cupcakes, it was going to be just fine.

“Edible glitter, maybe?” Josh proposed.

“Oh, hell yes,” I confirmed.

“Speaking of edibles,” Sam began, leaning forward across the picnic table, inching closer to Josh and I. “When are these shrooms going down?”

“Count me out,” I said, keeping my cupcake safe in one hand and lifting my drink in the other. “I’m sticking with sugar and alcohol tonight.”

“Ugh, boring,” Sam said with a wave of his hand, then looked pointedly at Josh. “You still in?”

“Absolutely,” Josh said. “Do we have enough for the other ladies though?”

“Oh no, I’m good,” Jane said with a little laugh, looking at Jake.

Jake shifted in his chair. “Me too. Bev can have my share if she wants.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at him; I caught his gaze and raised my eyebrows, tilting my head, silently urging him to leave his brother alone. “Fine, be boring, Jacob,” Sam said with an exaggerated sigh. “Josh, Danny, Bev and I are going to go on a fantastical journey without all you sad saps.”

I thought it was a bit risky for Sam to begin his trip with so many drinks under his belt. Josh and Danny, on the other hand, hadn’t actually had that much to drink–Josh had been preparing for this all day and alcohol just didn’t hit Danny the same way it hit Sam. He could handle a bit more. Bev was even more of a worry for me–while always more of a risk-taker, I knew she hadn’t done anything beyond booze and weed in a few years and she’d also gone pretty hard with the tequila throughout the night. Nevertheless, the fantastical journey began after Jake added more wood to the fire pit and while I watched them chow down, blissfully drunk and enjoying the chilly night air around me, the darkness, the black shadows of the trees, I thought they were all very brave after all.

A little while later, Sam was the first one to make a move–he stood and looked up at the porch light. “Wanna go for a walk?”

I wasn’t entirely sure who he was asking, but Bev–again, bravely, I felt–replied, “Who? Me?”

Sam laughed and grabbed her hand. “Yes, you.”

“I don’t think we agreed that anyone would be leaving the party,” Josh teased. He was sticking close to me, which was a little surprising once I figured his own trip was probably beginning. He didn’t like to stay still once things got going in his mind no matter what substance he was using, but I appreciated him being there–his body was warm next to mine, his hand resting on my thigh.

“We’re not leaving,” Sam assured him. “We’re going for a walk.” He went over to Danny, who was sitting next to the fire, across from Jake and Jane, and put his hands on his best friend’s shoulders while he hovered over him. “Danny needs to come with us. He can protect us.”

Danny sighed and rolled his eyes, but I could see him smirking past the slight obstruction of Sam’s hips in his face. “Always the responsible one.”

Sam guffawed. “As if, Daniel!” He patted his shoulders. “Come on. Up and at ‘em, big boy.”

“Be safe!” I called after them as the trio meandered off the porch and into the darkness of the yard, then completely out of sight, just leaving us with their momentary and fading chatter.

“Josh,” Jake said once us three were alone. He hunched forward, forearms resting

on his thighs. “How’re you feeling?”

“Good, very good,” Josh said, sounding as perky as ever. “I feel electric.” He appeared to be buzzing with electricity even more so–his knee was bouncing harder, a bristling energy radiating from his entire body.

I thought Josh evidently needing to move around was also a good reason to give Jake and Jane some alone time. “Should we go for a walk or something, too?” I asked him.

“No, no, this is good,” Josh said, taking me by surprise again, as he looked up into the night sky. We were too close to the city to see any real amount of stars, but the moon was still a good companion. Then I followed his gaze to the fire crackling away. “The fire is nice. All of you are so nice.”

Jake and Jane smiled in sync with one another and my own smile followed. I agreed completely and we all stayed, chatting and watching the fire blaze onward, though Josh spent far more time fire-gazing than talking. Also unusual, even for a trip. I was enjoying not talking about the wedding nearly as much as usual. Instead, I was trying to facilitate–which I realized was probably coming across even more intensely thanks to me being drunk–Jake and Jane getting to know each other even more. The game of King’s Cup had certainly helped, but I was feeling completely invested in them actually getting together now, the thought so endearing and adorable in my mind. They also looked so invested in each other, hardly taking their eyes off one another, and Jake was becoming bolder as the alcohol kept flowing into our cups and the night grew deeper, gracing Jane with small, slight touches that she leaned into every time. It made me start to think about what Josh and I might have looked like on the outside to others when we were first getting to know one another. It probably wasn’t that cute, I figured, not right away. Not when I’d been so apprehensive and on the defense all the time, struggling to reconcile with all the ridiculous feelings. But Jake had played witness to one of the most pivotal points in our relationship–when we’d slept together for the first time. When I’d gone over to their shared apartment for the first time and after all was said and done, Josh curled up into me and we really slept together for the first time. The first time I thought of his nickname, Starshine. That nickname had echoed in my mind for years like a prayer.

The memory stretched onward–me waking before him, having coffee with Jake in the kitchen where he told me how often Josh talked about me, then the hike where I’d finally been real and true with Josh for the first time. If I’d been thinking about all that while tripping on mushrooms, I had no idea where the universe would have taken me; I looked at Josh, wondering what was actually going on in his mind, and he took his eyes away from the fire to meet mine.

“What’s up?” I asked quietly.

“Are you having a good birthday?” Josh asked in return, face so serious yet so soft.

“The best birthday,” I affirmed. “I’m drunk and have eaten like four cupcakes and I’m pretty sure like, way more than my fair share of Jake’s appetizers.”

“They really are amazing,” Josh concurred with a few slight nods, glancing over at his twin. “Can we steal some more cupcakes and go to Danny’s room?”

I checked the time on my phone. “Where are Danny and Sam and Bev anyway?” I questioned before giving Josh an answer–my worry had piqued again. “Should we go look for them or something?”

“I’ll text them,” Jake offered, pulling his phone out, to which Jane did the same thing, saying she would text Bev.

“I doubt they’re all in a ditch somewhere,” Josh went on. “They’re all on their journey together, keeping each other safe.”

I laughed a little, thinking of Sam’s natural ability to bring chaos wherever he went. “I sure hope so.”

“Danny just replied,” Jake said. “They walked all the way over to some gas station to get more snacks.”

Josh and I both laughed. “Oh my god,” I said. “They’re all too perfect.”

With our friends’ safety assured, Josh and I did end up snagging a couple more cupcakes before heading up to Danny’s room. I’d never actually been in his room in this house before and in my drunken state, I found it endlessly fascinating, but even more fascinating was how it appeared that Danny had cleaned it all in preparation for Josh and I crashing.

“These sheets smell clean,” I noted, bending down to sniff one of the pillows as Josh flopped right back onto the bed, totally unencumbered by anything and everything. I looked back up and around at the walls, zeroing in on the portion of the wall that was filled with pictures of friends and family. Lots of Sam and Danny together, of course.

“Daniel’s a good boy,” Josh said, stretching out luxuriously in his green and white outfit. Against the brown and green knit throw blanket beneath him, he sort of looked like a flower sprouting from the ground. “He wouldn’t want us sleeping on his dirty sheets.” He rolled onto his side and patted the bed. “Come here, angel.”

“Let me finish this first,” I said, unwrapping my last cupcake. I stood in front of the photo wall, looking over each one as I ate. I was feeling more tired than drunk at that point and my next glance at Danny’s bed made sleep even more tempting. But the look on Josh’s face told me sleep wasn’t coming so soon.

I switched the light off and sat down to get my heels off. “We really shouldn’t fool around on his bed, Josh,” I told my fiance, who merely crawled to me and draped himself over my back.

“Why not? He wouldn’t mind.”

I laughed loudly. “Josh! I bet he would if he knew. Would you want any of them fucking in our bed?”

“Who cares? Sex is sex.”

“So that’s what you’ve been thinking about on your trip.”

“A little. More as the night has gone on,” Josh told me, shifting back so I could meet him in the middle of the bed. “We’ll throw the bedding in the wash before he even wakes up.”

No doubt Josh knew I wasn’t going to argue. I didn’t really want to. I just didn’t want to scar poor Danny. “What else have you been thinking about? It’s kind of weird when you get so quiet.”

“This has been an introspective experience.” Josh laid down and brought me with him; I rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arm around him. “I know we couldn’t really see the stars out there but whenever I looked up, I could see them.” He sighed happily and began to stroke my shoulder. “Darling, I swear I could see Andromeda and Perseus. It was amazing.” He laughed softly then. “And I could see Hercules in the fire, believe it or not, wielding his golden mace through hell.”

“Wow.” I unbuttoned his shirt enough to slide my hand in, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin. “That sounds incredible.”

“I was thinking a lot, of course. About all of us. About the wedding. But mostly about all of us.”

“I love that. Everyone’s having such a good time tonight.” I tilted my head up to kiss his chin. “Thanks for helping put this all together. I love you.”

Josh smiled and held me closer. “I love you too.” Suddenly quick as lightning, he pushed me onto my back and climbed on top, hitching my dress up to my hips. “Now–about all that sex I was thinking of.”

Although Josh was always all-consuming, my mind couldn’t help but wander a bit. “Do you think Bev and Sam are gonna hook up again tonight?”

“Maybe,” Josh said, hands wandering down to my thighs. “Danny might cockblock them. Unintentionally.”

“Or intentionally.” I rested my hands on Josh’s waist. “What about Jake and Jane?”

“I know you’re wishing for that to happen,” Josh said. His fingers were tugging gently at my tights. “And I think it might, but perhaps not tonight. Not with everyone else around.”

I couldn’t see how it wouldn’t happen regardless of the house being full, but I gave up on voicing anything else when Josh started to actually paw at my tights in an effort to get them off. Before he could rip them, I pulled them down and he finished the job, tearing away the ridiculous obstacle with a bubbly laugh. I got his shirt unbuttoned and off, then I was pawing at his bare skin, beckoning him back down. I couldn’t see a whole lot in the dark but I could feel him, all smooth and warm, his body growing even hotter with each second we went on touching one another.

“You can’t sleep in that thing,” Josh said and I saw his silhouette gesturing at my dress. “Let me get it off you.” I shrugged out of my cardigan as I sat up, then let him unzip the dress enough for me to slide it down and off. I thought of Danny again–the poor guy could probably assume this is what Josh and I were doing, but still.

“Get these pants off,” I instructed, grabbing Josh’s bulge.

He huffed, then giggled, and unbuttoned and unzipped. I sat up against the headboard when he hopped off me to get fully undressed, watching his shadowed figure move so swiftly. “Done,” he announced with a flourish of his arms outstretched just for a moment, then he was crawling back over me, capturing my face in his hands. Our sequence of increasingly heated kisses and needy touches led to Josh maneuvering to his feet, taking me with him by my hips and bending me over the edge of the bed.

“Really?” I asked with a rough laugh of surprise. “This seems especially raunchy for Danny’s bed.”

Josh chuckled as he pulled my underwear down and pressed himself against me. “It’ll save his bedding from getting too sweaty, I think.” I felt his lips touch my shoulder while he rubbed his erection between my thighs. “Besides, I think this position feels the best for both of us.”

“Oh?” I quipped, my voice suddenly rising with Josh sliding into me. It did feel exceptionally good with him plastered to my backside and the extra-tight squeeze of my heat around him.

“Talk about seeing stars,” Josh muttered.

I tried to be as quiet as I could; meanwhile, Josh couldn’t have cared less. He was as vocal as ever, or perhaps even more thanks to the last threads of his trip buzzing through him, moaning against the back of my neck, softly uttering praise and pleas in my ear. By the time we’d both finished, with me biting my lip to keep myself silent and my legs shaking, my body begging to be laid back down, I was sure the entire house had heard him.

I collapsed onto the bed, getting onto my side and pulling the blanket up over both of us as Josh joined me. “My god, Joshua,” I scolded, still panting. “They’re all fucking mortified I bet.”

“We’re all adults,” Josh replied with a contented sigh, cuddling up against me. “They can handle some love-making noises for one night.”

“Poor Danny,” I lamented futilely, hoping he wasn’t scarred for life after that.

In the morning, no one gave me any grief, but Sam immediately went in on Josh about his vocal performance.

“You should join our band,” he chided, slapping his hands onto Josh’s shoulders while my fiance tried to eat his eggs. Sam was standing behind him, looking way too pleased with himself for hearing us. “Those pipes, Josh!”

I had to walk away from it. I went to the kitchen where Danny was waiting for his toast and felt more embarrassment creep up, which apparently was written all over my face because he laughed and shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told me, opening a drawer and pulling out a butter knife. “It’s–um. It’s not something I didn’t expect.”

“It’s gross,” I replied sharply, but he just laughed again. “Are you sure you don’t care?”

“Josh put the sheets in the washing machine already. What are you gonna do?”

“Not screw around in my friend’s beds.” I sighed but gave up on shaming myself any further. If Danny didn’t care, that was that. As I watched him butter the toast, I had to ask, “So how did it go with Sam and Bev? I feel bad you all ended up in one bed.” At Danny’s slight and sudden rise of eyebrows, I added, “Unless it was a good thing?”

“Um–” Danny began and then, as if on cue, Bev paraded into the kitchen.

“Are you kidding? Those two spooned all night,” she declared and Danny’s face instantly turned bright pink.

“Who?” I asked, morning and hangover brain still keeping me slow. “Sam and Danny?”

“Oh my god, leave me alone,” Danny mumbled, scurrying out of the kitchen with his plate in hand.

“Yeah. They are total lovebirds,” Bev remarked, excitedly unlocking her phone and poking at the screen. “I took a picture.”

“Bev!” Apparently my birthday involved lots of scolding. “You can’t do that.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I already sent it to both of them and I’m not sending it to anyone else.” She chuckled, grinning as she showed me the snapshot of Sam and Danny indeed spooning, the blanket half off their bodies, with Danny shockingly being the little spoon. “Well, besides you.”

“God. They look so serene,” I observed, genuinely finding it adorable that Sam had his arm wrapping around Danny’s middle, keeping him close. “I mean, I could have guessed but I still figured you and Sam–”

Bev was still chuckling, giving the picture one last look before she locked her phone. “I think it’s cute. But man, Danny is a fucking furnace. I should have moved to the couch.”

That didn’t surprise me. “What about Jake and Jane?” I asked, then looked around as if they would also suddenly materialize. “Where even are they?”

“They’re out on the deck canoodling,” Bev told me. “She told me they didn’t fuck, but they did make out and get handsy. I think they were both way more drunk than they were letting on and, you know, whiskey dick and all.”

I groaned. “Alright, cool. Well, I love that.” I went to the stove to get some of the leftover scrambled eggs for myself. “I think they make a cute couple. Maybe even cuter than Sam and Danny.”

Bev laughed. “Never.”

---

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