#I’m having such great luck with health related stuff this year tbh i’m so thankful

[rurinnfane]

Got my new glasses today and this is the first time that the transition to the new prescription isn’t taking me days, I was able to just… put them on 🥹 and I love them 🥹

(Kudos to this optometrist for making the tie-breaking call between my previous two diagnoses that conflicted between myopia and astigmatism, that’s 100% why the transition didn’t fucking suck)

[assless-chapstick]

This is me sending myself an ask… because I am boredt and my teeth hurt and I want to lay in bed….

So I ask myself … how are the Couch AU boys coping with the COVID19 lockdown??? Are they ok??

Tbh I think Charles and John are taking it harder than Arthur and Javi. Like, Arthur and Javier are a little more stable, a little more mentally well/neurotypical, and while everyone is finding it hard, I think Charles and John are struggling more than average.

Charles practically lives at John and Arthurs place, so he’s locked down over there; half his stuff is over there already, and while it might be a little crowded, it’s better than him being alone at his place. He doesn’t have any roommates and he needs to have someone around to help with the anxiety and keep him on a schedule. With Arthur around, he doesn’t sink completely into a depression. Sure, he’s finding it hard to focus and stay motivated and he spends a lot more time on the couch, napping and watching jeopardy and comfort-eating, but he’s not completely vacant and spending all day in bed, forgetting to shower or eat like he might if he was alone.

Arthur has a little gym/studio in the spare bedroom where he draws and does his fuckin bowflex or whatever, and they set Charles up there so he can get some studying done and continue to attend classes online. Charles is just finishing his first year of law school and he’s like, determined not to let this whole situation fuck up his academic career, even if he’s a little worried about it all…

Arthur is going a little stir-crazy; he works at an autobody shop, and they closed for a couple weeks at the beginning so he was out of work for a while. He was all “perfect I can work on my art,” but he’s so used to being super busy working two jobs and going to the gym and shit that having so much free time has been stressful to him. He processes a lot of feelings through anger, so the punching bag on the balcony has taken some pretty rough beatings the past couple weeks…

He’s back at work now, three days a week, so he’s feeling a little better… I think his biggest concern is money, cuz with reduced hours and all the cons he was planning to sell art at being cancelled, his income is reduced, and as a teen/early 20s he struggled a lot so that really scared him… But Dutch and Hosea aren’t too bad off and they’ll help out if he or John are ever in a pinch…

I think Arthur authors/creates a queer cowboy romance webcomic, so he’s been working on that a lot… he’s finally pages ahead and has some updates queued, so if he needs to be can afford to take a break for a week or two! He’s psyched about that. His patreon profits have gone down a little, but he’s got some loyal-ass fans and they’re really helping him thru it, too, I think… and he’s made some new merch for the first time in ages, and has had time to open up more commissions… He and Charles spend a lot of afternoons in the study, listening to Arthur’s vinyls and working together in silence …

So Arthur is doing ok, and Charles is pulling through, but John is having a… really rough go. For someone who seems really chaotic, John really really thrives when he had a routine and a set schedule, and with classes being moved online or canceled, he’s really struggling to keep a routine and as a result, his mental health is suffering. It also doesn’t help that he can’t leave the house and can’t see Javi, a major source of security for him. John runs to get his frustration out, and not feeling like it’s safe to go for a run has him feeling really bad.

He and Javi FaceTime every night, but it’s not the same and John is pretty miserable. He spends a lot of time in his room, music Loud, and he stops sleeping with any sort of regularity. The stress also makes his nightmares worse, I think, so he’s spending a lot more time avoiding sleep, which definitely makes him even bitchier than he would be otherwise. That and the situation have him really snappy, so there’s some Big Fights between him and Arthur; fights over nothing, fighting just to have something to do, to just feel something, because he’s angry with the situation and the feelings and everything… He’d just started to get his life on track and here it is, all out of order again. The uncertainty and instability are really unsettling for him.

I think John’s been seeing his therapist online, but it’s not the same, and he really hates it. In the first few weeks, things were all over the place and he forgot to take his meds and stuff… when Arthur noticed something was wrong, he kind of just started gently helping John remember to do things, just gently coaxing him and reminding him to take his pills, etc…

Like Arthur starts making meal at the same time every day, and cooks for all three of them so John remembers to eat… he makes coffee and sings when he makes breakfast to wake John up, and they watch movies and play boardgames and stuff after dinner, just to keep John on a little bit of a schedule. John usually goes to bed in his own room and climbs into Arthur and Charles’ later in the night, but during this whole thing, he starts going to bed with Arthur and Charles, and that helps too...

I think eventually he gets a little more used to it, once he gets back into a routine and then he’s still having trouble, but he’s doing better…

Javi lives in college dorms, so he’s moved back to living with his mum and his sister, which sucks, but that also means he can borrow his mum’s car… so when John is feeling really bad, one day, Javi throws his guitar in the trunk and goes to John and Arthurs place and stands under the balcony and plays all the dumb joke songs he’s written for John… songs called shit like “im sorry I backwashed in your redbull, flaquita” and “youre a pendejo but I love you anyway” and that cheers them both up…

Also, John makes up little care packages and has Arthur drop them off at Javi’s!! little doodles (John’s been practicing drawing but he’s like, crazy bad, just awful) and poems (marginally better, not great), their favourite snacks, little trinkets from around the house and stuff he picks up on his runs (once he starts going on runs again), and of course, of course, cuz he’s nasty, panties that he MAYBE wore on his run, for Javi to, y’know, do with what he will…

And of course they have a lot of phone sex, especially once John pulls it together a bit… at first he kind of went AWOL and didn’t talk to anyone, let his phone go dead and stuff, but he’s doing better now and now they’re… being quarantine horny …

Javi prefers regular voice phonesex, loves to call John up and tease his girl until John whines for him to stop, ask if John is touching himself when Javi can tell by the hitch of his breath that he is… Javi loves that, but not seeing one another, John insists they do videocalls, even if Javi is a little uncomfortable…

But it leads to some… fun roleplay … John pretends to be an innocent starlet trying to make it big, and Javi is a big-time director that keeps on pushing… “you look so good on camera, babe, but maybe take the bra off, let us see how those little titties of yours look? Don’t be shy, it’s all business, just want to see… grab them for me, that’s it, now show me that ass…”

And they also play like Javi is broadcasting the video to everyone, like all his friends can see what a whore Javi’s girl is, how he can suck that dildo like it was a real cock and how desperate he is for it… they pretend Javi is advertising John as if he’s a thing for sale, like Javi is booking John’s ass by the hour…. All “cmon baby, show them how greedy your pussy is, you’re gonna take so many cocks for me tonight, you’ll be leaking cum by the time they’re done with you, you’ll be so sore but you’ll do it for me, won’t you, flaca? Til you’re rubbed raw and then I’ll slide into your wet, gaping hole…”

And of course, of course, John BIG gets off on watching Javi jerk off into the panties he sends him… Javi maybe even… sniffs them, licks them a little, cuz he misses John so bad and he loves the way John looks in the pale yellow, lacy panties he’s got wrapped around his dick, loves the idea of coming in them and then making John put them back on,…

Aaaand that’s that on that, I think!! So thanks for reading, mister, if you’re still out there somewhere. I have dental surgery tomorrow and I’m more scared than a spider in a shoe factory, so please wish me some luck and send me some non-COVID related asks, iffin you’re feeling it!!

[priisakilljoy]

Now that May, Myself and I is over I’d like to reflect on this month a little bit. This project was super interesting to me so i’ll talk about every day 

Day one (running) had to be a homage to Carrie Hope Fletcher, it was my only idea and felt like the right way to kick off the month

Day 2 (star) might just be my least favorite of all, not only because I was not super exited but also bc the execution is not great. I would normally never post it but the fun thing about this kind of project it that I can push myself

Day 3 (donuts) came with the conclusion that I like to draw. Was that obvious to anyone else? Not to me lmao. I just had so much fun with the white donut and I don’t even like donuts so that was exciting. Feels like something big, I was wondering for a wile and now I finally have an answer

Day 4 (red lips) isis one of my favorites and I didn’t even plan it a lot, it just happened. I usually have a very clear idea of what I want the end result to look like but this one happened very organically

Day 5 (eggs) is cute as hell imo. i was really excited when i had this idea 

For Day 6 (weight) I just had to make some Luther fan art because that’s one of my favorite choices of character design. He is a big guy who carries the word on his shoulders, it’s a lot of weight

Day 7 (salty) freaked me out a bit tbh because I only had the mermaid idea but I felt like I couldn’t do it justice. I almost didn’t post it but again, it’s about putting myself out there

Day 8 (pranks) was easy and felt right to make some fan content about the Weasley twins again, trow back to my 2012 fic lmao

Day 9 (umbrella) just had to be about TUA, but the idea to do the totoro rain scene came later. I wasn’t expecting to do two fan arts of Luther but he is big and five is small so it fits and I love how it turned out. It was also fun to explore the comics style, I love Gabriel Ba’s work

Day 10 (bodies) is about my own relationship with body hair, so that was a obvious choice. I’m in a very happy place with my body at the moment and feel like I’m finally caring for it for the first time ever, but the body hair is still a struggle and I’m exploring with it. This day was also part of this exploration

Day 11 (sunflowers) is the most personal of them all. It’s my cousin who I love a lot and she planted a sunflower earlier this year so it fit perfectly

Day 12 (storms) looks cool, I struggled with the video colors so had to change a bit and I’m happy with how Kirstin turned out

Day 13 (little) was so funny to me and I feel like is seriously underrated lmao. It’s moomin! It’s John mulaney! Y’all are supposed to love that shit

Day 14 (curtains) was hard. I was so uninspired and it looks rough

Day 15 (black and white) looks cute. Every time I read the prompt list the song started playing in my had so it had to be

Day 16 (conscience) was also very personal because it carries a lot o weight to me and basically shaped who I am so there’s that. I like the end result

Day 17 (luck) was bad lol. I only had the idea very late and was not feeling so good, but it looks cool! The background was from another danger days fan art I did earlier this year and it was my first time mixing media like this

Day 18 (sparkles) was easy to choose and I like it

Day 19 (Myself) was a challenge! I wasn’t sure where I was going with it tbh but feels right

Day 20 (mundane) is honestly one of my favorites. I just love Mitch so much and he is anything but mundane so I wanted to play with it. The color palette came from his horny demon tattoo and I wanted to do some supernatural stuff but subtle, so mostly on the shadow. It looks really good in my humble opinion lol

Day 21 (space) is another one that I love. I wasn’t sure what to do with this prompt because my first idea was something that I still relate a lot with my ex and I’m not quite there yet to reclaim and not think about him. Lucky I couldn’t stop listening to thank u, next and ari gave me some inspiration. The color palette of this one is the nasa logo

Day 22 (bloom) was maybe the first idea I had for this month lol. I just love the album in general and this song in particular and it looks exactly how I hoped it would

Day 23 (kindness) was terrible, probably because I’m very unkind to myself. I make bulbasaur because he makes me happy and he is great but honestly it was a bad day

For Day 24 (letters) I was going to be sappy and write a letter to myself instead of drawing something but Sza saved me and I did her supermodel look instead. I still listen to this album a lot and it hits home for me

Day 25 (moon) was also easy. I love avatar, I love Yue, it looks just how I wanted it to look

Day 26 (Jekyll and Hyde) was challenging bc I’m not super familiar with it and I was going to read the novel but was not in the mood lol. I did listen to the musical tho and confrontation reminded of left brain right brain By bo burnham. What. is one of my favorite stand ups of all time so I used this as an excuse to watch it again. It fits tho, I’m happy with it

Day 27 (circles) is basically a redraw of one of my inktober posts. I was not feeling inspired but it looks better than the first one so there’s that

Day 28 (chaos) is all about my mental health and I think it translated it well. The colors are not the ones I usually reach for but that was cool and different. I think this one really stands out

Day 29 (praise) is the one day I skipped. I was feeling bad and had nothing, zero ideas. So I didn’t push it. It was a day to remind myself that this is a challenge but it’s supposed to be fun, it’s something I’m doing for myself

On Day 30 (apologies) I woke up feeling terrible and scared so I decided to listen to some soft music to calm down. That did Not work lmao, so I listened to my chemical romance and the used instead. This empty with you quote was on my IM messenger for a long time and it fit with both the prompt and my mood

Day 31 (Hope) I came full circle and made another Carrie Hope fletcher fan art. I talked a lot already about how I look up to Carrie, so that was a perfect way to finish this month

[bangtanata-blog]

Misha’s 100+ followers’ follow forever thing ft. Gudetama, a lazy ass 2 min edit done with shaking hands, suggested by Jenny and actually done after a pep talk with Heena.

I can’t really talk about how happy I’ve become after knowing about BTS and actually becoming their fan, bc some of their songs do... help, in a way. Like, 21st Century Girls, So Far Away, 4 O’Clock, Miss Right, etc--they have.... helped me, in going through some days. I just had a bad week, month, whatever, and I was a bit stupid today bc I researched some stuff that probably shouldn’t be researched... So I thought that maybe doing a positive thing will help today after hours of listening to music proven unsuccessful.

So... here it is, a list of people, both mutuals and non-mutuals. I’m sorry if my mention annoys you or bothers you, especially if we’re not mutuals. But I just want to let you know that by making these mentions, I wanna voice out how your presence in my dash actually help me a whole lot, and that is why I’m still upset that Indonesia has tumblr blocked.

bold - mutuals / normal - non mutuals / the list is not in alphabetical orders. i will mention mutuals first. / all mentioned people have something written for them. i’m sorry if some are too long or too short. jsyk i love you all.

@clairelions​ 💜 chiara 💜 thank you for following me back that day, it made me scream internally and eternally; i was really happy when i found out about it. i really look up to you! not only bc you’re older, but you’re also nice and sweet, not to mention polite, and i really aspire to be as kind as you someday. sometimes i still laugh at my mistake in sending that anon message without clicking the anon button, but it’s really sweet over how you take it so calmly and even still accepts my anonymous messages when you know that it’s me. i love your edits, i love your jikook aus, your hogwarts aus (the hogwarts aus have a special place in my heart... i haven’t forgotten that i want to write a fic for it someday!) and many others. i hope your redbubble stuffs get more purchases, and that you’ll have a great day, don’t forget to stay healthy and hydrated. ilu 💜

@yoonkia​ - So, this is the nice thing I was talking about. I like making people happy, so this is okay, I guess. The gudetama was made in a spur of moment and tbh Gudetama is a Huge Mood but anyway, thank you so much for messaging me. I didn’t think anyone would, and I didn’t even know why I made that post. I only realized I was shaking when I saw your message, thank you. (Also, I’m more eloquent now. This is actually how I talk usually!! dhklslshd i’m sorry you had to see that strange me). I actually really like seeing you on my dash, and I’m??? always happy to know we’re mutuals even tho we barely talked dshjkfjd I hope that we can talk more;; you need to know that i’m usually funny //hEH. again, thank you 💜

@jvnckles - jENNY HAHAHAHAHA I DIDNT END UP USING MY SKETCH OF TAEHYUNG IM SORRY BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE THE GUDETAMA ANYWAY WWWW 💜 Jenny jenny jenny ilu it’s such a happy coincidence when i saw you on Fahreen’s blog and when I found out you’re Indonesian I just have to follow you bc!!!! aaaa!!!! I don’t regret it one bit you’re such an angel and ilu and dont let mean pouty anons get in your way, you’re amazing and lovely and you deserve a lot of good things in this world hun 💜 i wish you the best of luck with the upcoming college days lmao i hope you dont suffer like i do 💜💜 ilu nak stay strong yah wwww

@jungcock - miaAAAAaaaa we don’t talk much but youre!! such!! a blessing!! in my dash your tags are funny your text posts are funny and your fic is great ilu even tho im worried about your health bc you’re high sometimes when i see you on my dash (it’s mostlikely a culture shock-- since we don’t really get high here. it’s basically illegal anyway) but you do you, buddy, just stay healthy and safe ok?? your writing gets me motivated to do some actual writing myself lmao i hope my weakass self can actually update something soon. ilu 💜

@kookieholic - i dont see u a lot in my dash... it’s probably a timezone thing :c but you’re a sweet sweet person and ilu and thank you for existing i hope we can be friends someday 💜

@cyphertaehyungie / @kikiwho - !!!!!! i’m still amazed that you’re... following me, tbh. I love your edits, i love your posts, you sound like such a sweet person and hdsshk yeHA thank you! 💜

@hosehok - 💜💜💜 We havent talked in a few but I always get pleasantly surprised whenever I see you back on my dash. Thank you for existing, I love you.

@kimtaehyungl - You’re a constant presence in my dash; it would seem weird for me if you’re suddenly not there, tbh. I love your posts, I love your contents and your tags and honestly thank you for brightening my day, every day 💜

@taegayhyung - I don’t see you a lot too :c A timezone thing? Mostlikely. I’m sorry we never really talk, but I’m sure you’re a gr8 person 💜

@faenam - I screamed when you followed me back, still scream when I see you on my dash. You’re so... chill sometimes and actually cool but also you’re??/ cute? I don’t know how to say this properly? Am I being creepy??? dhslsgjdks anYWAY thank you for being on my dash, I love you and your contents and I hope we can be friends 💜

@taehyungtrsh - bABY (i dont know why I said that, but oh well?) thank you for following me back and thank you for interacting with me whenever we’re able to! I’m too shy to really send anything else other than asks but you’re honestly very kind and fun and just!!! thank you, you made me feel at home and at ease when I first started this blog and you made me feel like I’ve made friends in this fandom. Thank you 💜

@hobisuki - 💜💜💜 First of all, I wish you the best of luck in your upcoming college years. I’m sure that whatever path you choose you can find something good out of it and that you’ll flourish; it’s okay even if it’s not your first choice, it doesn’t mean you’ve lost your path to a bright future. There are other pathways you can take and it’ll lead you there nevertheless. Tbh wow I can quote something from So Far Away right about now lmao but yeHA goodluck bb i’m sure you can do it!! Thank you for following me and thank you for brightening my dash, ilu 💜

NON-MUTUALS MENTION START HERE

@booptaegi - Hello! First of all, I’m sorry if this mention bothered you or anything; I just want to tell you that I love seeing you on my dash, your contents make me smile and sometimes your tags make me laugh. I love.. the taegi contents..... (I just love all ot7 dynamics but dsjkhd shhhh ilu) I hope that you’ll have an amazing day today; please don’t forget to stay healthy and hydrated, don’t forget to eat! 💜

@jhsmixtape - Hello, I’m sorry if this mention bothered you or anything, but I just want to let you know that sometimes i come in the form of an anon I love seeing you on my dash. You’re funny and your interactions with your mutuals and anons make me laugh everytime! Your tags and your text posts and others are so funny as well, so thank you, thank you, for making me laugh 💜

@yoonseok - hello, I’m sorry if this mention bothered you or anything, but I just want to let you know that I love seeing you on my dash. Your gifs and contents are top notch, and you’re actually nice and p relatable dsjkdfj I’ve seen some mean anons bothering you before, and I want to tell you that whatever they may say about you, please know that I do appreciate you and like seeing you on my dash, and that although you seem awkward and super blunt, you’re actually p sweet :’) Please don’t let the anons drag you down. You’re a kind person and you deserve many good things. Please don’t forget to eat healthy and stay hydrated (as a side note though... make sure never to take too much water again :’D), I hope you’ll have an amazing day!

@jimiyoong - Hello, I’m sorry if this mention bothers you! I want to let you know that you’re a sweet sweet person esp whenever I see your interactions with the anons, how patient and mature you are, etc. I love seeing you on my dash, and as I mentioned above, your presence actually makes me happy sometimes. Thank you 💜 I hope you’ll have a nice day, please don’t forget to stay hydrated!

@vanillalattaes - 💜💜💜💜 Okay you probably already know who I am thanks to my name HJDSGHKSJD aNYWAY yeah I can’t believe this is the Grand Reveal but hey at least it’s not a stray message like how it happened with Chiara dhsklsk Hello, it’s me, Cappuccino, and no pressure over finally knowing who I am (as in you don’t have to follow me back if you don’t want to!!!!). I’m sorry if this mention bothers you, but I just wanna let you know that I’m really really happy to have you as my friend, Fahreen. I can’t stress this enough, I’m so happy to see you on my dash, mostly it’s bc I know then that you’re healthy and safe 💜Thank you for listening to my rants whether that one time on the rabbit site or through the anonymous messages. You’re a genuinely kind person and I’m happy to have you as my friend 💜 You make me happy and feel loved and honestly you’re one of the reasons why I’m so content in staying in this bts blog and in this fandom overall. I love that we both love spicy foods, I love that we can bond over cake. You’re a sweet, sweet person and I hope that you’ll have a nice day. Please don’t forget to eat and stay hydrated! Thank you Fahreen, you’re appreciated!!!

[the-imperfect-pear-blog]

The moment it finally clicked

for me was actually on a Sunday night after watching like 5 episodes of supersize vs. superskinny and bawling my eyes out.

I had seen the show before, I had been excercising before, I had been on weightloss journeys before but my mind has never been in the right place before that night.

And those past failures I had, they all played into this moment when it finally clicked.

I had lost weight before, I had excercised for 2 years (yet I still ate rubbish)before I fell off the wagon again, I had started my selflove journey and I already knew that I can fight my way through extremely difficult times.

And all it needed to make everything fall into place was a supersize English man who went to the US to see someone bigger and talk to them about health and weight.

And when Dr Jessen met him there he said something on the line of what I used to say about weight loss:

“Why should I? I am healthy/I am not ill”

And that was me ignoring the constant fear that my bed would break because of my weight, that my knees would give in under me that my back pains would come even more frequently and that I already had massive problems when it comes to having periods.

And Dr Jessen asked that man if he wanted to continue in his ways until he got really ill.

And that’s where it clicked for me. Also I’d been very naive to the point of pure denial before. I often used this quote about my diet/weight-/health issues:

“I don’t give a shite , I won’t be carrying the fucking coffin.”

I was completely in denial about pain. I only saw the pleasure of food and the stories those Americans had to tell then really got to me and made me feel quite stupid or not thinking about how much pain would actually be involved from dying because of weight issues.

The show also helped me tremendously after setting my mind right, to do some first steps. First off all I analysed my eating habits which were a catastrophe tbh. Though I didn’t eat 24/7 or drank soda, I went wrong in many ways. I never ate breakfast, but then a crazy and shocking amount for lunch, folllowed by a rather normal amount of dinner. I ate almost no fruits ond vegs but already only drank water and tea in which I put waaaay to much honey. I didn’t eat fresh. I had no idea about calorie intake or portion sizes.

However I realised I had to work on three regular meals, my portion size and just eating more healthy stuff and besides following a program I got myself a diet coach.

I then got an appointment with almost every doctor I know and got a check up

I have not a single illness that relates to my obesity, and you know back in the day that would have been it for me. “Great, thanks, I knew I’m healthy back to normal now.” But today I know that I’m extremely lucky, it’s sheer dumb luck that I didn’t develop diabetes or high blood pressure or anything similar.

And instead of falling back I now always think of Dr Jessen’s reply to that one man. Which totally does not mean that I’m not falling of the wagon now and then, but unlike past me, now, I will never give up on my journey and on myself ever again. Because I can do this.

I can and I will.

And I’m so thankful that this show exists and that it provided my personal “click moment” and an idea on how to start on my “getting healthy” journey.

(That’s why it saddens me so much more that people apparently also use this show in self-destructive ways, because the show in itself is such an informative and positive one (except the parts with anna richardson doing a lot of horrible stuff to herself in order to loose weight)

[esseastri]

Literally everyone: AAHH MASS EFFECT ANDROMEDA!!!! Me, seven years late with starbucks: so, I just finished ME2 and yowza, guys

.

Okay, so some of you might remember that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (oh shit wrong fandom), I was liveblogging Mass Effect 2. For various personal reasons, I stopped the liveblog some time ago--I jumped ship and liveblogged all three Dragon Age games, and then, when I was meant to pick the ME2 blog back up, some personal shit happened and it was easier for me to just finish the game without the liveblog. I’m sorry if you were looking forward to live Suicide Mission reactions, but I can provide, in bullet point form, a summary of what would have been the end of the liveblog if I’d been able to finish it properly!

(Having now written it up, I guarantee, you’re not missing anything by this not being an immediate liveblog--it is JUST as funny this way, I promise!!)

It did get quite long, so here it is, under the cut:

I successfully scanned/probed every. planet. in the galaxy. I’m not joking. Every single one.

This made for a lot of boring scanning time, but it also revealed a lot of sidequests--all of which I completed. 

This included taking out the entirety of the Blue Suns mercenary operation via fucking up their fake-distress-signal trap and stealing their stolen cargo after killing off several of their captains.

Also I stopped some missiles from crashing into a small colony? I think?

I successfully completed every sidequest that had anything to do with quarians.

Samara’s loyalty mission!

I flirted with her daughter so badly it was embarrassing, but hey, that’s the way to bait serial killers into getting KO’d by their moms, so...

Thane’s loyalty mission:

I’m still genuinely surprised that that security guard honestly believed I was a health inspector are you kidding me I’m fully armed and armored how does this outfit say ‘health inspector’ to you pls I fear for the security of the Citadel

But hey, we stopped the kid from killing anyone, so that’s good.

Also, what is up with my squadies having kids who want to murder people who we have to prevent from murdering people? Guys. This is bad parenting. Pls. 

I scanned some more planets and did a few more sidequests.

Miranda’s loyalty mission:

there was some hinky shit with this whole situation, but it’s Miranda: of course there was hinky shit. But I’m glad her sister was WAY Chiller about the situation than I thought she was going to be.

I AM SAD I MISSED THE PARAGON QUICK-TIME-BUTTON AND MIRANDA MURDERED HER CHILDHOOD BESTIE THAT WAS VERY UPSETTING AND I’M NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE

Jacob’s loyalty mission:

TALK ABOUT HINKY SHIT WITH THE WHOLE SITUATION

tbqh, I’m still not 100% sure what the fuck happened on that mission. I got the toxic food made people wacky, but I’m unclear on the ten-year wait before activating the distress beacon. You cannot have just been chilling like a king while the crew got slowly more poisoned for ten years and been having a good time. Bro, pls.

I’m v glad Jacob was chill with me throwing his dad in jail.

I did some more sidequests. I cannot stress enough how many fuckin sidequests I completed.

LEGION: hoooo boy. 

1. I fucking hate husks and fighting husks and getting swarmed by husks and dying a lot but it’s fine, I’m fine

2. Geth still make me nervous. I understand that there are good geth and bad geth, but I spent waaayyy too long fighting that Colossus on Therum in game 1 to fully be okay with them.

3. Tali’s non-reaction was the most ridiculous and out of character anything in the Bioware universe. There was NO REACTION AT ALL to us activating a geth on board a ship that has an AI installed on it. And no reaction to us recruiting that geth. The only reaction we got--finally, AFTER FINISHING Legion’s mission--was her anger over Legion trying to send info on the Flotilla to the geth. Which, yes, warranted a reaction, but sO DID A LOT OF OTHER STUFF. And the fact that Bioware was too lazy to write Tali some reactions to this geth just chillin’ in our AI Core offends me deeply.

4. Legion’s mission: I really, really didn’t want to do either option, tbh. One felt like genocide and one felt like mind control and I was 100% not there for either of those versions of events. (I eventually decided to blow up the station: see point 2 above.)

The second EDI was like “u should take everyone on the shuttle; the ship will be fine!” I was like, “OH JESUS FUCK NOTHING WILL EVER BE ‘FINE’ AGAIN”

There is nothing--nothing--more #relateable than Joker running through the ship as it’s getting attacked by Collectors and just repeating “shitshitshitshitshit” for the entire time. 

It was about this time that I realized the next THING was the Omega-4 Relay and I had to do some googling. Did you know that the Mass Effect Wikia is 100% Useless when it comes to figuring out how to get through the Suicide Mission without getting anyone killed?

I spent a lot of time being TERRIFIED that I’d somehow missed a ship upgrade, even though there was no possible way for me to have missed a ship upgrade.

GARRUS AND I FINALLY DID THE DO. THERE WERE CANON FOREHEAD TOUCHES. HE WAS A NERD. IT WAS SO FUCKIN CUTE I DIED. IT WAS SO CUTE.

The fight with the Oracle in the basement was waaayy chiller than I thought it was going to be, and my sister, from across the room, just laughed and reminded me that I was playing on Casual mode.

The briefing room scene: 

Miranda: “We’re going to have to split up into several groups.”

Me: “Worst. Idea. Ever.”

Miranda: “You have to pick someone to go in the vents. I volunteer!”

Jacob: “I also volunteer!” 

Me: “Ahh, thanks, but I’ma send Legion, ‘cause Legion is the best tech guy we could possibly ever have? Considering it IS...tech?”

Miranda: “Ugh, fine. Pick someone to lead the second squad. Again, I volunteer.”

Me: “That’s nice. Hey Garrus, darling--meet me at that fucking door, and you better be alive, babe.”

Garrus: “Sure thing, babe.”

Miranda: “Uuughhh, at least we know he knows what he’s doing. Fine.”

SO WE SET OFF INTO THE COLLECTOR BASE, SPLIT UP INTO SEVERAL GROUPS, AND I ALMOST HYPERVENTILATED OUT OF NERVES AND MADE MYSELF COUGH.

I got Legion through the vents without it melting.

I spent a lot of time reminding myself that if you murder all the collector drones before you kill Harbinger, then you only have to kill Harbinger once, as opposed to once for every drone in the room.

There was a terrifying moment at the first locked door, when I was very certain we were all going to die.

No one died.

I WAS REALLY WORRIED THE CREW HAD BEEN LIQUEFIED BUT THEY WEREN’T, I SAVED THEM ALL! IT WAS AMAZING!

Also, the liquefying was suuppper gross and unnecessary, thanks Bioware.

The First Regrouping scene:

EDI: “Sorry, guys, but you need to go through that hallway full of seeker swarms, good fucking luck.”

Samara: “I could probably make a biotic barrier and keep them off us? It’ll be slow, but I can do it.” Miranda: “SO COULD I. Any biotic could do it! I VOLUNTEER!”

Me: “Uh, it was Samara’s idea, soooo...she’s gonna do it.”

Miranda: “FIIIINNE. Someone has to be a distraction and go the other way, though. I fucking volunteer, goddamit, Shep, just let me do my fucking job.” 

Me: “Garrus. Darling. Babe. Be safe.”

Garrus: “Sure thing, babe.”

Miranda: “I’m. going. to. stab. you.” Doctor Chakwas: “Can someone get us back to the ship? We’re all in really bad shape.” Miranda: “We do not have people to spare, sorry.” Me: “Hey, Mordin, I love you, but you are not extra great in combat. Want to escort mission this shit?” Mordin: “Good idea. Joker: need coordinates for pick up.” Miranda: “GOOD. LET’S GO. WE’VE GOT SHIT TO KILL. COME ON.”

At this point, I did feel a little bad for Miranda, but listen: I googled who was best for what, okay. Everyone had to live, okay.

We hiked it through the seeker swarm hallway and it was actually a really cool mechanic! I was impressed!

Thane kept getting into cover outside the protective bubble though, ‘cause he’s a doofus, and Tali and I were just like “pls, son, get inside and stay alive, we can’t take all these collectors just the two of us. I mean, we can, but it’ll go much faster with you helping. get inside the bubble. pls.”

I legitimately thought Samara was going to die of exhaustion before we reached the door. I assume that if she’s not Loyal, she might die there? But everyone was super loyal so it was fine, but I WAS WORRIED.

I had a heart attack when Garrus called for help and we had to bust down the door and save him and the other squad and I WAS SO WOORRRIIEEDD

AND THEN IT LOOKED LIKE HE GOT SHOT IN THE STOMACH AND I LITERALLY SCREAMED I WAS SO TERRIFIED BUT HE WAS FINE AND IT WAS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE

It didn’t happen, because the game doesn’t support public displays of affection, but if you think that Gen didn’t grab Garrus’ face and kiss the fuck out of him once she’d decided he was alive and not shot, then you and I are not watching the same show.

So, after the traumatized, mid-battle kiss: 

The amount to which I wanted a v small, v scared scene in which Shep got to say a non-goodbye to the LI she is leaving to cover the door as she goes on ahead is astronomical, but the game did not provide, so I’m just going to have to fanfic the shit out of this.

The fucking human-reaper-larva was NASTY AF and I took half a look at it and went “NOPE, I’MA TAKE MY GLASSES OFF AND DO THIS FIGHT BLIND”

my sister laughed at me

I realized after two seconds that that wasn’t going to work ‘cause I couldn’t see the adds, and I had to murder them, too, sooo I put my glasses back on, and it was AWFUL

The “shoot the canisters” part of the fight was SOOOO easy, I was v concerned that I’d messed something up because it was so simple? Just waves of collectors? and then it just FALLS? I was Suspicious.

The Illusive Man chimed in with a “haven’t you people ever heard of working toward goddamned human supremacy” and wanted me to SAVE??? the collector base???? for “““RESEARCH”““???

So I said, “yeah, that’s fucking dumb, we’re not going to do that” and set the place to blow the fuck up

AND THEN I HAD TO FIGHT THE FUCKING TERRIFYING HUMAN REAPER THING AND IT WAS GROSS AND DIFFICULT BUT I WON IT WAS GR9 I DIDN’T EVEN DIE ONCE!!! OR RUN OUT OF AMMO!! IT WAS AMAZING! A MIRACLE!

So then everything blew up and THE PLATFORM STARTED FALLING AND I 100% FOR SURE THOUGHT TALI WAS DEAD

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TERRIFIED I WAS

I STARTED CRYING IMMEDIATELY AND THEN SHEP GRABBED HER HAND AND THEN LOST HER GRIP AND THEN THEY LANDED AND THERE WAS A GIANT BEAM ON TOP OF TALI AND I LEGIT STOPPED BREATHING

I STARTED COUGHING BECAUSE I WAS SO UPSET I STRESSED MYSELF INTO A COUGHING FIT IT WAS AWFUL I WAS CRYING AND MY SISTER WAS JUST LIKE “she’s Loyal, you’re fine, she’s fine” and I continued to freak out until she stood up and it was terrifying.

I then told the Illusive Man to fuck right off, stole the Normandy, and got my peeps together to murder some Reapers.

and BOY HOWDY THAT WAS A LOT OF REAPERS LIKE #YIKES???

SO That was the end of ME2!

A brief review: I liked bits of it, and viscerally hated other bits, tbh. I’m still not a fan of the mechanics, but once I figured out which guns to use against which enemies, things did get slightly better. I still hate the very idea of the Collectors--no one needs bug aliens who kidnap and liquefy people, I mean COME ON--but there was some cool stuff with that plotline as a whole. Also, I hate Cerberus, and I wish the game had let me more explicitly publicly pronounce myself as working WITH them out of desperation as opposed to FOR them because we believed in the same things.

Listen, Evil Martin Sheen, you underestimate how much I LOVE ALIENS and how little I care for the human race. So,

anyway

overall: not bad. Looking forward to the third one much more than I expected, tbqh, and that should be starting soon! I do plan to get back into the liveblogging swing of things, but that one WILL be over on the liveblog blog, found here. I’m hoping to start sometime next week, if not before then, as I’d really like to get to Andromeda before I have to fight the internet over spoilers. So, yeah! Thanks for putting up with this liveblog dying and being resurrected in this truncated form. I hope to see you on the liveblog blog for #Megan plays ME3 SOON! :D

[thatlittlethingcalledhope]

So I’m going to college in Canada in the Fall. I tell most people that it’s for my Master’s in Counseling Psychology, but really I’m going to get my Bachelor’s of Science in either Bio or Forensic Sciences (I got accepted into both programs and am giving myself until the end of next week to decide which one to do). It seems like a silly lie, but it’s easier than answering the “why’s” that everyone would then ask (cuz there is not really a short answer to that). I also don’t really feel like dealing with everyone’s “Oh, well you should at least try to find a job in the psych field first before you decide you don’t like it,” or the “You spent all those years and money on getting that degree, that’s kind of a waste don’t you think?” (which, compared to everyone else, I am really not much in debt, but yeah, it did take time obv.). I mean, they are very legit points when people don’t know the more personal aspects of my life. 

     When I first started college, I was a Bio and Secondary Ed. major because I wanted to become a high school bio teacher. However, I started to realize how messed up and in desperate need of fixing up our education system is in this country and quickly realized that, while under different circumstances it would be a great job for me, that field would not work out for me. That’s part of the reason why I only stayed at the first university I went to for 1 semester; what’s the point of spending all that money when I no longer knew what I wanted to do with my life? I mean, I liked Bio, but I had no clue what else I could do job wise with that degree (you’d think they’d discuss that sort of thing more in high school or something tbh). The other part was because I had never dealt with all my mental health stuff from high school. I was naive and thought that going away to college would magically fix all that, or at least make it a lot better (obv. I was wrong, although being out of my house did do some good). So I transferred to the community college that was in my town and tried to come up with something to major in.

     Now that decision had its good and bad points. I really did enjoy the college and most of the classes and teachers I had were great, I got to work and save up money for a car, discovered the glory of weed (okay that sounds bad, but I probly would’ve been a lot more persistent with trying to kill myself and cutting if I hadn’t started smoking weed when I did), and because my family doesn’t make much at all, financial aid covered most everything (thank god for the pell grant), and I finally came to terms with my sexual orientation. The downside was that I was still living in my toxic home environment (which led to me trying to off myself again, good times), and so I was spending all this time trying to fix myself and then when shit kept going downhill with the parents, fix that, instead of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. I ended up picking psychology because 1. it is an interesting subject 2. my 3 close friends were also going into that field or a closely related field (aka social work) and 3. I think I was still stuck in that whole “I feel obligated to be perfect and fix everything” mindset. Now I don’t entirely regret going into the Psych. field, it is a legit interesting and very useful field, but no one ever told me until later on that you really can’t do all that much that is directly related to that field without your master’s. And I’m that type of person who only wanted to do one specific thing job with Psych., whereas with science, there’s a lot of different things I could do and would want to do.

     So after I finished up my 2 year degree (I say finished up because the school had sent me a form to fill out to graduate, but my parents never told me I had gotten mail from the school, so I ended up finding it weeks later and by then the deadline had passed, so I didn’t end up getting my legit 2 year degree for another year) I transferred to a different state university to finish up my Psychology degree. I almost double majored in Environmental Science but between hating that school (which is a whole other rant) and going home every other weekend to work and take care of the shitstorm at home (and to check in on my younger brother because I did feel guilty that he was there having to put up with that shit), I ended up dropping it. Before I knew it I was graduating; the first person in my family to do so. But I wasn’t excited because my father tried to kill himself on the last day of classes before finals. I wasn’t proud because I had lied about my internship for my 400 level Psych. class. I didn’t feel accomplished because I didn’t have any jobs lined up for after I graduated. I didn’t feel smart because it was just a Bachelor’s degree, everyone has one of those now. 

     So I graduated and was determined to gtfo of the house I lived in. I wanted out of CT, but still somewhere in New England because I do enjoy the weather and the more liberal people here. I applied for jobs and looked at possible apartments near the jobs until mid-September or so, but I had no luck so I started applying to jobs closer to where I was stuck living. I figured I could pay off some of my college debt while gaining some experience in my field before going to get my master’s so that I could become a high school guidance counselor (I always did enjoy trying to plan my life out). However, once again I had no luck, even applying for second part time jobs. Luckily, I had gotten my passport at the end of that summer because I had a bad feeling about the angry cheeto who was still somehow a legit possible candidate for presidency (yes, he’s part of the reason I want to go to college in Canada, but not the whole reason). I listened to friends start to hate their jobs or not be able to find a decent paying job in this field and I realized, I did not want to deal with that shit, I only ever wanted that once specific job in the psych. field. At least with bio I would not mind most of the jobs I would have to end up doing (I always did like the idea of working in a lab or out in the field or preferably a bit of both). I figured, why be miserable in a field that I probably shouldn’t have gone into in the first place, get stuck working a job I don’t enjoy or only tolerate, to pay off college debt and hopefully be able to support myself and eventually go back for my master’s and then hopefully end up liking the guidance counselor job. Why stay at home in an environment that I have known for years to be unhealthy for me to live in? I’ve learned that I deserve better, but that I also have to put some effort into making a change so that I can actually go about living my life the way I want to. I shouldn’t feel obligated to take care of my family, whom can’t even be bothered to at least make some sort of effort to help themselves. I am done putting my life on hold or simply going about my life doing things just because that’s what others tell me I’m supposed to be or should be doing. Do I have to go to Canada to do that, no, but I WANT to. I am not so naive that I think going there will solve all my problems. I’m not that type of person anymore. I do know it’s a risk, but I’m young, now is the time to take a risk. And who knows, maybe it won’t work out, but at least I can say I tried. And I think that as long as I buckle down and put some effort into this, I will end up changing my life for the better.