#I’m gonna. draw something for this. hell fucking yesss

[litteredcorpses]

Enthralled with the idea of the Actor being a dollesque taxidermy case. Skin too tight, off-set, not quite right — splitting at the seams and he sews himself back together. Camera ready as always, picture perfect.

YESS EXACTLY he’s a walking talking haunted doll, not quite fitting within they body he’s stolen and molded for his own. always dolled up, even at times you’d think he wouldn’t be. always so touched up and prim and dolled up. body left in peak form, never changing. well except for the occasional stitch up but perfection isn’t easy

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 304: The Council of OFA

Previously on BnHA: Hawks and Best Jeanist were all, “what up Todofam, we are here to apply for the positions of ‘son #4’ and ‘weird uncle’, respectively,” and then proceeded to insert themselves into the family drama without waiting for an answer. Hawks briefed Endeavor on the nation’s current status of “totally fucked”, promised to help him sort that out, and then asked him about OFA. Endeavor was all, “oh do you mean One For All, the mysterious thing that my intern Deku was apparently being targeted for?” and then we cut away, presumably before Endeavor could clarify that it never occurred to him to follow up on that, and Hawks was all “no of course not, why would it occur to anyone other than me to follow up on any of this super weird and ominously important shit.” Anyway so meanwhile Bakugou was all “LET ME SCREAM AT DEKU UNTIL HE WAKES UP” and the other kids were all “NO”, and then the chapter ended with All Might being all “I wonder what the vestige!me is currently chatting with Deku about.”

Today on BnHA: Deku drops in on the Vestiges, who are all “sup Deku, how do you like our fancy chairs.” OFA II and III are all “if you need us we’ll just be standing here silently in the corner pretending to be invisible and sparking endless discourse with our mere existence.” OFA IV is all “and now I will explain to you in a very convoluted way that you being quirkless was actually a good thing, since it means that you are probably not going to suddenly drop dead at the age of twenty. But also you’re probably going to be the last user of OFA for that very same reason.” Deku is all “that is wild. I’m just gonna stand here and stare at my hand.” Nana is all “so now that that’s settled could you please do me a small favor and kill my grandson for me”, because having just one topic to discourse about this week WASN’T ENOUGH, apparently. Thanks so much Horikoshi.

(ETA: okay so just a note before I start, this week’s RHA translation was a huge mess, so I followed up this chapter by reading a couple of other translations. the main one I’m using for reference is the one by @hanashimas​, whose weekly posts I highly recommend. anyway so you’ll see a couple of ETAs in this post in places where the initial translation was off.)

how many layers of bandages did they wrap this poor kid’s fucking hand in omg

jesus Deku. are you holding onto a bouquet of flowers under that thing?? or a tennis racket??

omg yes, finally

is he reading these names off a teleprompter lol. and if so, what has Jeanist ever done to slight you, Deku? “god bless Kacchan and Aizawa-sensei and Todoroki-kun and everyone else in the whole wide world... except for Best Jeanist. fuck that guy.” actually this joke would be funnier if half of tumblr didn’t legit feel that way lol but anyway

OH MY GOD

I NEED TO HAVE A TALK TOO. ABOUT, OH, EVERYTHING

I got immediate KHR vibes from ALL OF THIS. this is seriously such a Vongola aesthetic. “let’s use the luxuriously cushioned chairs with the seat backs that are ten feet high, and arrange all of the handsome ghost people in a big circle” like come on

that said there are also some slight LoTR vibes as well. “bring forth the ring, Deku”

I like how Six is sitting there with his feet drawn up all casual, but with his arms inexplicably sticking STRAIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF HIM and dangling over his knees like he’s doing some sort of zombie walk

apparently the Fourth wasn’t a big fan of shoes huh

interesting that All Might is the only one who’s still faint/indistinct, and and that Two and Three are fully visible

(ETA: the rest of my speculation about Two and Three has been moved into a separate post, the better to focus on the shit that’s actually happening in this chapter lol.)

and lastly, interesting that all of them are talking now, except for All Might (and I guess the Second and Third as well). to the best of my knowledge Deku hasn’t unlocked the Sixth’s quirk yet, so I guess the quirks don’t really have anything to do with it

oh and it looks like Deku’s mouth is still covered. I guess that’s convenient for the vestiges since we all know it’s hard to stop Deku once he gets going. but on the other hand it’s very inconvenient for people like me who wanted to see some interaction. alas

so First says that OFA’s power has grown a lot in the last four months (i.e. since Deku unlocked Blackwhip), and now the vestiges can communicate with each other as well as Deku

so even when Deku’s not around they can all just chill with each other. this is such a weird thing to me lol. like it’s cool, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also strange as hell to know that you’ve got eight other people hanging out in your head spying on everything you do and having conversations with each other about it. it would be like if Dark Shadow had someone to hang out with other than Tokoyami. good thing you weren’t triplets, Tokoyami

First says that it’s become easier for the vestiges to interact with Deku ever since TomurAFO barged into the OFA Domain back at Jakku. huh

(ETA: apparently this is because AFO forcibly pulled out OFA’s power when he was trying to steal the quirk, so I guess that makes sense.)

okay thank you Banjou for addressing this concern which I initially brought up as a joke, but which was apparently real enough for you to reassure Deku about

“don’t worry, even though we’re awake and hanging out inside of you at all times, we’re definitely not secretly watching and making fun of every single thing you do” hmmmmm

(ETA: “not that you could do anything about it even if we were, since you’re probably going to be the last OFA holder ever!” I don’t trust anything this asshole says lmao.)

OH SHIT??

YESSS DEKU now you can hold them accountable for all of their bullshit! because I do not doubt that there will be bullshit lol but let’s see how that goes

oh damn

well okay then. you didn’t have to stand up and walk over to him and loom all threateningly like that but okay sir

this guy has kind of a Kimimaro vibe to him. remember? that bone-growing guy from Naruto? except I’m pretty sure he had eyebrows. and wasn’t twenty feet tall. speaking of which, that explains the chairs

why are you wearing only 3/5ths of a shirt

lol what

someone’s gonna have to explain this to me. is he just redundant or something lol, or is he strangely poetical or what

(ETA: apparently HE’S MAKING A PUN omg. I immediately gained +10 love for him lol. also it flows a lot better in Japanese. this is one of the things Caleb is usually good at, so we’ll see what he does with the wordplay.)

omg the hermit theory is true!!

“I’M NOT WEIRD, IT’S SOCIETY WHICH IS WEIRD.” lol whatever you say buddy. also love how Banjou tried to give him a big hearty slap on the back but Hermit Boy was not having it lmao

IS HE TRYING TO CAPTURE HIM WITH BLACKWHIP

AND ACTUALLY, NO, SIR, AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE ARE NOT AWARE. SO SPILL!!

?!!?

okay my first response was LOL ARE YOU SERIOUS, THAT’S THE BIG SECRET!? -- and then it hit me what the significance of “died from old age... AT AGE FORTY” meant. at which point it was like “!!!!!” and then “OH, SHIT”

(ETA: there’s also an Iida joke here somewhere but I’m just too tired to make it.)

oh my god oh my god

did he somehow get a copy of the coroner’s report or something? like how does he even know that he died from “old age” as opposed to any number of other natural causes? ??

but anyway. so this is the quirk singularity coming into play then I guess. but then how come All Might is still alive and ticking?

(ETA: so this is one example of where this week’s translation is a mess lol. apparently the Fourth explains here that he didn’t know what the fuck he died from until All Might researched it. and it turns out there actually was an autopsy lol so there you go.)

so Fourth says he held OFA for eighteen years, and since he knew he would never be strong enough to defeat AFO on his own he basically just spent all his time punching rocks in the woods and training to power the quirk up

oh shit

is he implying that his body literally fell apart?? like that’s how he got the scars on his face? -- IS THAT WHAT KEEPS HAPPENING TO TOMURA, THEN. oh shit

DUDE

so you’re telling me that this quirk actively shortens the lifespan of anyone who uses it?? and my little boy here has had it now for a year already?? fuck me, I have immediately have a TON of thoughts about all this but let me save it until he’s done with his explanation

THANK YOU, DEKU

right?? how come All Might didn’t die then. even after he got injured. please don’t tell me he actually is dying still and is just being slow about it because I SWEAR TO GOD

what does this mean??

so what you’re trying to say is you all have NO FUCKING IDEA how long Deku’s gonna be able to hold this quirk before he SUDDENLY DROPS DEAD?! five generations ago this dude was able to hold it for eighteen years, and then four generations later All Might was able to hold it for thirty-odd years or so, and now Deku has it and you all have no clue which way it’s gonna go? actually this makes it sound like it really wasn’t OFA that killed the Fourth at all and you guys are just really bad at forming hypotheses. but since you’re making a big plot point out of it I guess it must be true

and don’t think I didn’t notice the part where you said you didn’t have OFA very long and then “died while fighting”, Firsto. I want to hear more about that. specifically who you passed the quirk onto before your death

and yes, if we are agreeing that OFA was the cause of the Fourth’s death, then the conclusion on this next page is the natural one to draw

so that’s a bit of a relief then, because Deku is quirkless too. so it means he won’t be able to hold OFA forever (and will probably have to find another quirkless person to pass it on to), but at least he won’t be randomly dying out of the blue next Tuesday or something

oh my god now he’s talking about OFA and AFO and user consciousnesses and all sorts of good theory stuff but it’s so much exposition. you’re really gonna make me read all this lol

wait what. why would All Might being quirkless have anything to do with the presence of his vestige in OFA Outer Space Party Land

but Deku is also quirkless and he’s clearly visible and chatting with you guys. so what gives. like how much of this is verified fact and how much of it is you guys just shrugging and making stuff up lol

SERIOUSLY, GUYS

BUT DEKU IS ALSO -- you know what, never mind sob. none of this shit makes any sense but whatever

(ETA: seriously, this all seems like an awful lot of speculation on their part. for Deku’s sake I sure hope they’re right.)

FSSKDJFLSKLKJLKJL ALL MIGHT IS FIFTY-FIVE?!

lol that’s a full ten years past my closest estimate, wow. but this pretty much confirms his age now at last! or at least confirms it within a couple of years, because we know All Might and Nana met when he was in middle school, and he presumably had the quirk by the time he took the U.A. entrance exam. so yeah. gonna go with fifty-five

so they think that because All Might was quirkless, OFA was better able to adapt to his body and became his true quirk, as opposed to being an extra quirk that stacked on top of the one he already had and overwhelmed him. ties in back to the whole “AFO used to bend people to his will by forcing quirks on them” thing, as well as the “Noumus are all mindless because of the strain of having multiple quirks”

Two and Three are really ruining the serious vibe of this scene here lol

they look like they’re doing the counting for hide and seek

and is this Deku talking now? I was about to get mad at First for implying that quirkless people are somehow freaks, as opposed to “normal” people jdslk

so in other words, don’t go giving it to your best friend all casually for shits and giggles, Deku. even if it would make a really cool climax for a movie. well shit. maybe that’s why they were so quick to nope back into Deku’s body afterward

so First says that because quirkless people are becoming rarer and rarer, the fact that All Might just happened to stumble upon Deku is “nothing short of a miracle.” which, yeah, that was definitely a stroke of luck there. being quirkless saved his life. but being quirkless is also part of why he was chosen in the first place, and we’ve always known that much

“in other words, kiddo...”

looks like there was some hurried clone stamp usage going on here lol. but props to RHA as always for putting this scan out so fast, especially given how exposition-heavy this week’s chapter has been

“anyways, that was the main topic” ARE YOU SERIOUS. there are like ten other topics imma need you all to get to here, people

(ETA: seems like this is a mistranslation; the line should actually read something more along the lines of “and now for the main topic.”)

FFFFFFFFF

“ENJOY YOUR CLIFFHANGER THIS WEEK.” dskfalkjlkjwlgkjl you really went and dumped this discourse on us yet again. fucking...

(ETA: forgot to mention, but as several people mentioned, this seems to be another mistranslation -- rather than asking Deku to kill Tomura as though it’s doing her a personal favor, Nana is asking “will you be able to do it.” in other words more of an “are you capable of doing it” type of thing. which is a very reasonable question to ask given that Deku is, well, Deku.)

anyways, and the answer is obviously going to be “no” of course. this isn’t going to end any differently than when the previous Avatars all told Aang to kill Ozai. but I guess it means we’re in for a fun conversation next week

so Nana looks pretty grim here though (nothing at all like the person who once taught All Might the importance of saving people with a smile), and I’m wondering if this means she believes that her grandson is already beyond saving. as in killing him would be a mercy, as opposed to him continuing to live with AFO bending his mind and body to his will. except if that is the case, I think she’s underestimating Tomura’s own will. and definitely underestimating Deku’s will to save

and also, just... I’m so fucking sick of AFO screwing the Shimura family over, honestly. this is exactly what he wanted. well fuck you, guy. you don’t get to have what you want. go out there and save Tomura, Deku. for his sake and for Nana’s. give them some hope. do your thing, boy. can’t wait for your big speech all about it next chapter lol

[han-shinsuke]

m o s s i n m y h e a d

Y U T A O K K O T S U

🔞🔞⚠️⚠️ SMUT

heads up; corruption, family stroke 😂 charr

icon: https://pin.it/2GlfuUV

•••

I had some drinks downstairs. The elders offered so, I accepted those. It was my second time chugging down two bottles of alcohol and I must say it affected my system pretty well. I feel dizzy and all I want right now is to enjoy my bed. I excuse myself and make my way out of the small party in our garden. I pass by through another table occupied by my cousins. They offered a shot but I took them down. I am not a drunkard so yeah, shot rejected. On my way to the glass door, I bumped into a pot that almost sent me flying inside.

“Hey, careful.” The man speaks, holding me tightly on my limbs, “let’s get you settled.” I let out an ‘oh!’ It was Yuta. The foster child of my uncle. From my forearm, his left hand crawls down to my palm and intertwines his fingers with mine as he drags me slow to my bedroom upstairs.

“Can I have a taste of heaven, Y/N?” I may be drunk a little but I heard him clearly. Slowly, he pulls me in his arms as soon as the door closes. “My head is on fire. Both.” Chuckle follows.

“I’m your cousin, Yuta.” My timbre was not convincing. I search for his eyes and when we met, he immediately lowered his head and smooched my lips hard, “on papers but by blood, no connection was established.” His lips pops when he released mine.

“I’m a virgin, Yuta. I cannot guarantee your satisfaction.” I distance myself from him. It’s just the alcohol that made him feel needy, “I know someone who can put out the fire in you. I can phone her for you.” I should have not feel this way. I fish out the phone from my pocket and started dialling my friend’s number. She has a crush on him. They would make a good couple.

“Don’t push me to someone, Y/N.” He says through gritted teeth. My phone disappears from my hand and it crashes againsts the wall. Yuta just broke my phone! “I’ll teach you a trick, babe, okay? We can work you out of your cave, yeah?”

“I’m not tasty.” My sight is far. Staring completely at nowhere. Mind blank. Yuta sits me on the bed and he kneels in front. “I don’t taste good, Yuta.” A tear escapes my eye. What am I crying for?

Yuta was fast. He kisses my tears to stop.

“We will find out about that, babe. I’m gonna remove your short and this thin cover, okay?” He talked softly so, I just nodded.

I rise from the bed. Giving Yuta the time he needed. My denim short was pulled out of my legs but my underwear remains on my knees. Yuta pushes me back on the bed, spreading my legs and peeking over the flesh that lies in between my thighs. He looks at me with sparks of hunger in his eyes and I swear, I never felt so sexy under a man’s stare my whole life.

“We have to be quiet, babe. Can you hold your cute voice down?” Again, I just nodded.

Yuta sits besides me, anchoring my one leg over his thick one. The huge man held my eyes captive as if that was a some kind of ritual in luring me in his charms. I was too focused on his bright ones that I have chosen to disregard his words. “I’m gonna touch you now, babe.” He spits on his fingertips before moving down to the part of me that aches to be touched by a man.

“Yu–Yuta...” My voice was low when I breathed in his name. His touch was warm and his two digits were thick. When he pushes a finger down to the slit, I find myself gripping the hem of my knitted sweater that rest above my thighs. “Tell me if it hurts you.” He pushes again, feeling the bud through his calloused middle.

“N–No... but your touch feels sharp.” And warm. I breathe in again his name with a long soft moan when he doubled the presence between my folds. “Hmm... Yuta..” The fingers rubs up, pressing down the clitx with gentle pressure. Unknowingly, my legs shut closed and as well as my orbs.

It hadn’t been long since my last actions but Yuta was fired enough to hit my knees to separate them and captures my glistening eyes, “stay still.” He licks his lips then continue pressing my bud. The pressure he was putting on it has increases. “Yuta...” I squeal from the abruptness of his fingers. It suddenly moves down, pressuring my tight core with the heavy push. My chest moves up and down, chasing the air that escaped my lungs.

I can feel my cheeks heating up with the way Yuta watches my face whenever I make a sound. “Open your mouth, babe.” There was strictness in his tune so I obliged. Parting my lips as I struggle to breathe. Yuta leans down to my face, ghosting my lips. “I wanna fill your mouth with my cum fuck.” He hisses, rolling out his tongue to my mouth then flicking it against the gum wall. I swear. I fucking swear, I could tell his actions are for testing how I would taste in his. And there it comes, the kiss only a real man could give. “Fuck it.” The curse before the heavenly kiss.

My hands holds onto him when his kiss gets rougher and deeper. His fingers that have been playing with my flesh also gets meaner. He rubs my clitx fast while kissing me so deep that it feels like he was ready to devour my whole mouth.

My legs shakes as well as my lips, “Yuta~ ooh God~” his fingers were getting deeper into my cunt and fuck, I snatch his hand from my folds and cry, “It hurts!” His nails grazed my walls! Yuta stops mid air from kissing my lips again. “It hurts, Yuta.” I repeated.

“I’m sorry, babe!” His expression softened. Yuta touches my cheeks and kisses them softly.

When the pain subsided, Yuta kissed his way down to my neck. Tracing each corners with soft and wet kisses before sucking the skin where he thinks his marks would look better.

“Yuta...” I guess that’s all I can do. Moan his name as he nips the skin to bruise it beautifully. There must have four of them placed on my neck for him to smile sheepishly. “I feel bad for causing you pain, babe.”

“I still have to stretch your core. Bear with me, hmm?” He pecks on my lips and then rolls out my sweater up to my neck before latching his mouth on the two erected buds that makes my body jolts. Not only his fingers were sharp against my skin but also his tongue. It burns the spot his tongue touches. Yuta has to restrain my body inside his arms to minimize the movements I am creating every time his lips pops and sucks my nipplesx.

I don’t recognize the person writhing underneath him. How could a mouth bring out a different version of me? The thought was terrifying.

“Please, Yu–Yuta...” The swirl was rough and abrupt. It made me arched my body and rubbed my naked womanhood against his crotch. He moans, milking a bud, “fuck, babe~ don’t be like that hahnnggg!” I rub my cunt again, holding onto his hair tightly.

“I need you, Yuta!” It ain’t that loud but Yuta was forced to cover my mouth with his hand before feasting over my chest again. “Hmmpppfff~” I shed tears with the continues flicking of his tongue on my chest. The need to cry his name was arising.

Let me moan, Yuta. Let me, please.

I put my hands on his face and try to push him. He tugs a bud and chuckles as he releases my mouth. I gasp for air hungrily. It’s what I need this time. ”You okay, babe?” Yuta asks, drawing circles on my abdomen that clearly has a massive need of air.

“You said you would stretch me, Yuta.” I try moving away from his cage-like position on top of me but he catches my legs and fold them to my chest. “Hold your legs up, babe.”

Yuta undresses himself in a very, very, seductive way that makes me gulp a lump. That was quite a show, I must say. For the second time, Yuta spits... directly on my gaping hole. I savor the warmth of his saliva down there by closing my eyes and licking my lips.

“Fuck me now, sir...”

“We’ll get there, babe but first, stretching.”

I have no idea on how he would do it so, I stay still like a good girl and let him do the work. First, I feel the tip of his two bent digits nudging my tightness, knocking softly, pressing softly against the wall. Secondly, something inside me was opening up with the continues nudging and pressing of the walls as if the nuscles down was making a path for his fingers and lastly, it was embarrassing but by just having Yuta’s fingers stretching my cunt, I find myself dripping wet of my partial orgasm.

“I feel so good hmm... Yuta, please... ”

I heard him chuckle and just like that, Yuta takes control of my legs, wrapping it tightly around his waist. “Yuta hmp!” His next move scares me. He also wrapped his hand around my neck as if he was choking me.

“Moan quietly, babe, do you understand?”

“Yesss~ Oohh gosh, Yutaa hmmm~”

He points his tip and without a warning, pushes it all the way down to my very end. It went smoothly and it stings but the pain was bearable and at the same time, Yuta has a big and long cockx that was enough to make me full and shaking from his upcoming assaults.

My mouth has formed an ‘O’ and definitely my other mouth, too.

“See, babe, it feels good, yeah?” Ah, shit. I touch my belly and shit! His cockx head is carved perfectly inside me for it to make my stomach swells.

“Yuta, oohh God!” He really does not give a warning. His fingers tightened around my neck and for hell’s sake, Yuta pulled halfway then slammed deeper.

“God, babe! Your tightness excites me shit!” He pulls again only to slam harder and deeper.

My core is clamping his length and so my hands on his arm that holding my head down on the bed.

“Yuta... Yuta...” I am currently in a delirious state with all the pull and push as heavy as the weight of the man pounding on top of me.

“Tighten your legs, babe~ I’m gonna ride this fucking cunt to hell!”

And Yuta really did. He rammed himself fully and devilishly into me. Not missing the essential spot to properly stimulate satisfaction with every fast pulls and sickening pushes that drives me to the edge.

“I’m gonna breed you so damn good, babe. Just moan and take it all you fucking virgin.”

No. No. No. I try stopping him from unloading his juice balls deep into my cunt but Yuta knows better how to incapacitated a woman....

Cover her mouth...

Choke her while throwing heavy strikes into her tight cunt...

And most importantly,

flood her pussyx with warm juice.

Breeding complete.

••••

salamat sa maglalabas ng mga saloobin nila 😂

[thiswasinevitableid]

for mermay, indruck, 5, sfw? poison could refer to a love potion of some kind, or maybe a blue-ringed octopus (or other poisonous sea creature) mer?

Here you go!

Even with his future sight warning him this would be awkward, Indrid twitches his tail nervously as Juno, the volunteer checking him in to the venom donor clinic, frowns at her intake form. 

“See, trouble is, because today’s a mer donor day, most of them give their donations from barbs. You’re gonna have to give from your fangs right?”

“Yes.” Maybe he should just cut his loses, come back on one of the Naga days, and hope no one tries to kill him.

“Volunteers gotta go through special training for milking fangs, so you may have to wait until one of them is available.”

“I do not mind waiting. I came to donate, and I have no urgent engagements. Is there somewhere I can be out of your way?”

Juno smiles, “We got some nice sunny rocks--hold that thought. Duck, you just get here?” She calls this to a human in khaki clothing. His black hair is streaked with grey--matching Indrid’s tail--and his smile is so bright Indrid wants to bask in it.

“Yep! Thacker got to the station a little early so I could clock out sooner. Seems like you got somethin’ I can help with.”

“Sure can. Duck, this is” she glances at the form, “Indrid. He’s a mer, but he needs to donate via fangs.”

“Roger that.” The man holds out his hand, “Nice to meet you, I’m Duck. It’s a nickname.”

Indrid shakes his hand, his visions having taught him this is the correct way to reciprocate the greeting. 

“How long can you be outta the water?”

“Quite some time.”

“Great, in that case we’ll just go to the normal milkin station rather than me luggin things down here. Right this way.”

Indrid slithers up the beach behind him, drawing perplexed stares from humans and distrustful ones from the other mers. Duck holds open the flap on a tall, tan tent and Indrid heads inside. 

“You ever given venom before?”

“No. I, I am only recently back in the area. When I heard about the program I knew I could be of help.”

“Sure can. Sea krait, right?” Duck gestures to the silver and black of his tail. 

“Yes” Indrid smiles; most people just say snake.

“You reptile cousins can really fuck a human up. And who knows, your venom might be one of the kinds they can engineer multiple anti-vemons from.”

“I would like that. I like humans, and wish to help you. It is not your fault so very many things can kill you.”

Duck raises an eyebrow, “what happens if a King Naga bites you? Or even another venomous mer?”

“....I die. Ah, I, ah, see your point.” He smiles, sheepish, “apologies, although I wish to help humans, most of them prefer to stay far away from me, and so my manners are not always what they should be.”

“No harm done. Here,” he steps up onto a short stool, holding out a half circle of plastic filled with strong, astringent liquid, “put this in your mouth and bring your fangs out; we learned we have to disinfect them right before we milk.”

“PHeelphhh” Indrid winces as the liquid stings his senses. 

“I know, it ain’t pleasant. Won’t be much longer.” The human stretches a thin sheet of rubber across a shallow circle, checks his watch, and then steps back onto the stool, “okay, when I say open, open your mouth wide so I can slide that one out and get this one in position. Don’t bite down until I say to.”

Indrid nods, opens his mouth when commanded. Even with the disinfectant in his noses, Duck’s scent is overwhelming from so close up; sweat, sunscreen, soap, and something woody that must be his deodorant. He bites down when Duck says, drops of venom pattering into the container. The human keeps one eye on the time, explaining that he doesn’t want Indrid to exhaust all his venom accidentally, thus rendering him vulnerable or unable to hunt. 

“Aaaand done, go ahead and put those fangs away.” Duck removes the collection jar, labels it and puts it in a fridge as Indrid stretches his jaw, tensed from giving such a prolonged injection bite. 

“Now, we always give donors a thank you; come pick what you like.” He swings open a second fridge. Indrid cocks his head, studying the packs of what he knows to be sushi and the different types of fruit. Flicking out his tongue, he scents something delicious, and picks up a bottle of pink liquid.

“I will have this Guava Juice.” He pops the cap and dips his tongue in for a taste, then for a second and a third. A charming noise enters the air, like a bird who long ago gave up on being dignified. Duck’s laughing. 

“Sorry, wasn’t expectin that to be so cute.”

Indrid blushes; that’s not a word generally applied to him. 

“Thank you for the juice. And for acomodating me.”

“Any time. Welcome to come back the next time we host a drive.” The human holds the door open for him, waves as he slithers down the sand, sipping his juice. 

------------------------------------------------

“Hello, Duck.”

Duck doesn’t even turn around before he replies, “Nice to see you back, Indrid.”

This marks the fourth venom donation day the mer has come to, and he always gets paired with Duck. Duck doesn’t mind one bit; Indrid might be alarming to look at, not the elegantly finned, otherwise humanoid creature most people expect a mer to be. His scales appear on his arms and shoulders, and there’s even a patch of them on the back of his neck. His eyes are blood red, his smile wide and a little alarming even without the fangs showing. He’s also sweet, in an odd way, and takes genuine interest in Duck’s wellbeing and daily life. 

Honestly, Duck wouldn’t chatting with him at a time when he isn’t jamming venom collection jars into his mouth. But asking to hang out with a patient is weird enough without the added difficulty of that patient needing to be in the water most of the time. 

They go through their usual routine, Indrid helping himself to a mango juice this time before waving goodbye. 

Two days later, Duck is checking on tree specimens when he senses red eyes on his back.

“You do not want to touch that trunk, there is a very large spider in that knot.”

“Indrid?”

“......no?”

“Just a prescient voice in the trees?”

“Yes. I am a very helpful tree.”

Duck turns in the direction of the river, one that feeds directly into the sea, “You know I ain’t gonna be mad if you wanna talk, right?”

“Of course, it was merely an attempt at a goof.” Indrid comes into view, peeking out from the bushes on the shoreline, “I was curious about your work and wanted to see you in action.”

“Afraid there ain’t much of that. What you’ve seen is kinda the gist of what I do.”

“I find it fascinating all the same. May I continue watching?”

Duck smiles, “Sure.”

Indrid turns out to be excellent company, in that he’s quiet for large stretches of time only to ask Duck about the exact thing he wants to talk about. It’s not until Duck is wrapping up and readying to head inland to the ranger station that Indrid asks an entirely new kind of question.

“You are a long way from home, aren’t you?”

He nods, “Spent decades in my home town, feelin like I couldn’t leave, like I had a responsibility to stay. When the chance to work out here, to try to preserve this fuckin amazin ecosystem, popped up, I decided it was time for a change of scene.”

He shivers as Indrid’s tail pets his ankle and the mer sighs, “I am glad you did.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

Indrid becomes a regular work companion after that. Sometimes he arrives with helpful information, like which paths might have tourists in need of assistance or where Duck can find the specimen he’s looking for, other times he comes just to talk or listen. These days, Duck finds himself hoping for the glimpse of silver and black in the water that announces his friend’s presence, and enjoying the appreciative looks he spies Indrid giving him when he thinks his back is turned. 

So when something slithers in the bushes behind him, he simply calls out, “What’d you think of those cookies Juno brought in yesterday?”

“I do not know of what you speak, human.”

He whirls, finds a King Naga staring him down. This is probably bad, probably the reason rangers are required to carry a machete or hatchet, but he doesn’t want to be wrong and hurt someone just because they startled him.

“Can I, uh, help you with anythin, sir?”

“Yesss, you can. Be a nice human and stay where you are. I hate having to chasssse my food.”

“Uh” he steps backwards, keeping one eye on the fanged mouth, “that ain’t necessary. Know plenty of places you can get food, if you want.”

“Meager portionssss. And not half assss tempting.”

“Look man, I don’t wanna fight, so please just back off.”

The naga hisses, winding closer at an alarming speed. Then there’s a burst of movement and a flash of silver.

“You stay away from him.” Indrid rises as tall as he can, his body between Duck and the threat. 

“Mind your own busssiness, ssseagoer.” 

“Someone trying to make a meal out of my friend is most definitely my business.” 

“Sssso be it.” The naga lunges. Indrid pushes Duck out of the way and catches his opponent, the force of the strike sending them both sliding down the incline towards the river. The naga outweighs Indrid by a considerable amount, keeps pinning him down only for the mer to wriggle free at the last moment.  Duck knows the agreement is humans stay out of Naga/merfolk conflicts, but there’s no way in hell he’s going to sit by and let Indrid get killed for his sake. 

Right as he locates a large, hopefully sturdy branch, there’s a tremendous splash. The naga thrashes in the water as he’s pulled downstream. Indrid is underwater, holding his opponent in such a way that, the next time he strikes, he has to put his head beneath the current. Right into Indrid’s waiting grasp. The mer keeps his head trapped as his tail whips back and forth. It’s only when the naga is mostly limp, and Duck afraid he’s just witnessed a murder, that Indrid releases him. The half-drowned creature drags himself onto the shore, slithering away without a second glance at Duck. 

“And, and do not come back!” Indrid pants from the shallows, struggling to pull himself back onto the sand. Duck hurries down to him, and Indrid reaches out his hand, concerned, “Are, did, did he hurt you.”

“No, not a fuckin scratch. ‘Drid, pretty sure you just saved my fuckin life.”

“Oh good.” Indrid’s smile is bright, even as his eyes grow blurry, “it is nice to end things with a worthwhile deed.”

Duck sees the puncture wounds in the merman’s arm the instant before he passes out.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Indrid wakes up, which is in and of itself a surprise. As is the fact he’s half submerged in water. Rolling over with a groan, he discovers he’s still on the beach where he fought the naga. His bandaged arm aches but is intact, someone has thoughtfully placed a pillow under his head, and there’s a small tent just up the incline. Sound asleep in a sitting position outside the tent is Duck. 

He wriggles and crawls his way to the human, arms giving out as he reaches him, which means his head lands in Duck’s lap.

��Huwhazzat? Oh fuck, ‘Drid, you’re up.” Instead of pushing him away, Duck cradles his head and pets his hair, “thank fuck, I was so fuckin worried. Dani said it might take a few days for you to recover but I couldn’t stop worryin.”

“Duck? How long have you been here looking after me?” 

“Since you got bit. So three days ago. Sarah got some anit-vemon down for you, and Dani swam up to bring you extra medicine just in case. Oh, and Barclay brought you food, I been tryin to get it into you when you were a little bit awake.”

Indrid manages to sit up, curling his tail around them, “You did not need to do all this for me. I knew the risks when I came to your aid. You did not need to save me in return.”

“Fuck need, I wanted to. You, you mean so fuckin much to me.” Duck strokes his cheek, runs his fingers up his tail, “I missed you so much the last three days, realized how so often the part of my afternoon was you comin to talk to me.”

The futures take an odd turn and Indrid shakes his head to clear them, certain he’s seeing wrong. 

“And, uh, and I wanted to ask, uh, when you’re feelin better do you, uh, wanna have dinner with me. Like, uh, on a date?”

“Yes, so very much” Indrid drapes his arms around him, resting their foreheads together.

“Mind if I get a little kiss to tide me over?”

Indrid dips his head down, planting a chaste kiss on his lips before rubbing their cheeks together with a purr, “Apologies, but my kisses must be close mouthed. I’d hate to nick you with a fang.”

“Fine by me.” Duck kisses his shoulders, rubs his tail, “any kind of kiss from you is a goddamn blessin. Besides” he murmurs in Indrid’s ear, “sure we can figure out lots of other things to do together.”

“Absolutely” Indrid purrs, “but for now, would you care to join me for a swim?”

[hwangzi]

Natural Pt.2 (M)

[NSFW - teasing, public handjob, orgasm denial, y/n getting her revenge >:)]

{Kinda requested? thx to @stay-trash-2017 's comment :')}

I / II / III

.

After the photoshoot, all members, including their plus-one's and the staff were gathered up to have dinner, celebrating the successful day.

You were treated to a delicious feast at your favourite Korean barbecue place. Everyone was chatting animatedly, laughing and joking with each other, you lost count of how many soju bottles were opened in the past few hours. Just when you were about to take another shot, Minho's girlfriend raised her voice.

"Alright! Are we all just gonna pretend we didn't witness how our cute, innocent y/n here became the hottest and baddest of us all today?" Her words were a kinda slurred…. she was tipsy. You almost choked on your drink - All attention was turned on you.

"Oh my god yesss~!" Jisung's girlfriend agreed, nudging your arm with an excited giggle.

"What the hell was that?"

"Don't tell me you always hid that side of yours and Felix only had to bring it out, huh?" Hyunjin's girlfriend teased, making everyone break out in laughter.

All you wanted was just to disappear in embarrassment. Your eyes desperately searched your boyfriend's beside you - but your knight wasn't there to the rescue. Instead, you found him joining in with their amusement, chuckling to himself quietly with one hand covering his lightly blushing face.

So the alcohol was getting to him, too. The vengefulness from preceding events was slowly recoiling in your stomach.

Interesting...

You cleared your throat and the crowd fell silent.

"Well. Actually, I held back because I didn't want to outshine this man over here-" you grabbed Felix' arm, making him drop his chopsticks on the wooden table.

"Wha-" the blonde started, but was cut off by your own voice.

"In reality, I was just playing down because otherwhise my boyfriend would be jealous of me stealing the spotlight... right, Lix?" You turned to him, a provoking grin plastered on your face.

The crowd howled and whistled and Felix scoffed sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Only in your dr-"

"Oh, you know well enough that I am confident if I wanted to be," you chuckled before turning back to the guys,

"Guess the cat's out of the bag now?" The whole table laughed, applauding you, impressed at how easily Felix gave up on your little banter.

Little did they know, your words weren't the reason why he stopped talking.

Felix' eyes widened almost imperceptibly, feeling his heart beat quicken. His gaze slowly wandered down to his thighs, only to find your palm resting dangerously close to his crotch. Everyone at the table was distracted again, absorbed in their own conversations.

You tested the waters, giving his thigh a little squeeze.

"Y/n-" Felix muttered, still trying to keep a straight face.

"Sshhh..."

Trailing your hand upwards, you gently brushed over the fabric. He could feel himself getting hard.

"Y/n-" he hissed again, a warning undertone evident in his deep voice.

"Everything alright, baby?"

You feigned innocence, taking another sip of soju with your right hand while the other kept up its ministrations underneath the table.

"Fuck-" Felix cursed under his breath, the alcohol cursing through his bloodstream coupled with all the pent-up sexual frustration making him weak.

You chuckled internally at how smoothly your plan was working. He was already having a hard on within seconds and all you did was cup his dick underneath the tablecloth.

Fortunately for you, your boyfriend didn't even make any attempts to stop you as the pressure of your hand on his hard member felt so heavenly, he was unable to resist. Biting his lower lip, you watched with amusement how he was trying to hold himself up straight while suppressing his groans.

With a quick glance on either side of the table, you took the opportunity to undo the zipper on his slacks. Now the only thing separating your bare skin from his was the thin fabric of his underwear.

Felix hissed silently, almost throwing his head back in pleasure but successfully disguised the movement as a quick stretching exercise. He then proceeded to lean in, so his hot breath was tickling your ear.

"Keep this up and I'll come right here and now, babygirl." It was a husky growl, causing shivers down your spine.

"Y-You want that?" You whispered in return, the shakiness in your voice betrayed you.

You stroked him faster, watching as he shut his eyes at the feeling. When he opened them again, they were pitch black and filled with lust.

"Yes. Do it." He demanded, the sexy authority in his voice almost made you give in - but you had to follow through with your plan.

"O-okay."

"Good girl." He praised, encouraging you by discreetly placing his hand on top of yours, helping you increase your pace.

"Hyung!"

Your movements came to an abrupt halt when all of a sudden, Jeongin called the older male from across the table, asking him something about a video game.

Felix sat up, slightly annoyed at the younger for forcing you to postpone this little act to later. You, however, internally thanked him. You've been waiting for this.

Let’s get this game started.

When Felix took out his phone to show something, you quickly slipped your hands back and into his boxers, making him gasp out loud. Nobody, except of Jeongin seemed to have noticed it.

He cleared his throat, explaining he suddenly remembered something about the game character.

You chuckled, thumb smoothing over his leaking tip, feeling him tense up all over. Felix' eyes were focused on the phone screen but you knew his mind was elsewhere.

Feeling your hand pumping his erection in increasing speed, it took all of his willpower to put on this act.

God, he was angry at you. And god, did it feel good.

You could tell he was slowly losing control, the way his member twitched in your palm a dead giveaway that he was close. His thighs were trembling, Felix was starting to loose focus and you could see Jeongin getting worried at his bandmate's questionable state. His voice was trailing off, his entire focus on your hand around his cock as he felt himself reaching his high.

But suddenly - right on the very edge of his orgasm - you removed your hand completely.

Shocked by the sudden loss of contact, Felix turned to face you, not even caring about the video game anymore.

"What the fuck-" he expressed wordlessly and you just shrugged.

"Was that enough provoking?" You smiled wickedly, using his own words against him, "Have a taste of your own medicine." Quickly zipping up his fly and drawing your hand back, you left him incredibly turned on and angry as hell.

Check mate.

However, your revenge plan didn't end as expected.

Felix got up, pulling your wrist harshly, causing the table to rattle at the sudden impact.

"We're leaving." He spat, giving an apologetic nod to his startled friends before yanking you out of the restaurant.

The next thing you knew was your body smashed to the wall the moment the empty elevator opened its doors and his greedy mouth leaving marks all over your neck while your rode up to your hotel room.

"Thought you could get back to me with this little stunt of yours, huh?"

You moaned at his roughness, adrenaline spiking through your veins. Felix let out a vicious snicker, his thumb tracing the purple pattern he’d just created on your skin.

"Bold of you to assume you could get away with this, baby. Forget your reward - Once I'm done with you, I dare you try this again."

Secretly, you knew you would. When it came to teasing him, you were a natural, after all.

Continue.

[newsagogos]

ummm the girl. also cherri (as yr serious interpretation of it, not whiteboy cherri) nd party poison (you dont have to do all 3 tho)

thank you jam<3

the girl:

First impression

oh a kid? okay cute

Impression now

as a kid: oh that’s my cute kid! (not my but yknow). 

as older: oh fuck yeah swing that bat bestie! rightful and unrightful fury for the win!!!!

Favorite moment

canon is like shooting the bazooka i think

Idea for a story(these are probably not gonna be very serious and definetly thought up of on the spot)

hmmmmm i think she should start a zone band. that’s the story. 

Unpopular opinion

i think she is not a like. calm kid. if we’re going with canon, she has her mom’s anger. so she throws tantrums, holds grudges(the way kids do). gets frustrated, has shitty days. yknow, like a person. 

Favorite relationship

her and kobra. they <3 

Favorite headcanon

i really like your name hc for her (bottled andromeda)

cherri cola (the cool one):

First impression

comic cherri: oh okay who? why? okay sad guy. oh he’s dead now? tragic

twitter cherri: *mcr voice* this girl’s not right in the brain!(complimentary) yesss killing violence murder!

Impression now

yesss killing! violence! murder!!!!! it’s fucking awful!!! (complimentary as well)

Favorite moment

“look like a million bucks, who wants to date me? “ from the twitter canon ofc. but also i love a similar moment styxx wrote from the event let me find it hang on. “ Eyes on the prize, motherfucker! I know I'm pretty, but this isn’t the time for ogling,” fucking love the cocky motherfucker

Idea for a story

yeah i’ve got nothing

Unpopular opinion

uhhhhh not white? not the comics one? twitter cherri but still writes poetry (i think i talked about it in that one hcs post but i’m not gonna include here for tws reasons)

Favorite relationship

i like it and newsie, weird siblinghood

Favorite headcanon

mine<3 it/its cherri

party poison

First impression

hell if i remember. but probably something along the lines of. ass shot? oh fun hair. furry head? ans something about whatever is on his neck towards the end of the mvs like huh okay yeah that’s pretty

Impression now

asshole (affectionnate) 

Favorite moment

that moment insing(the director’s cut) where he takes the drac’s mask off. a cool moment if you ask me(which you did)

Idea for a story

party poison gets stranded somehwere and has to hitch a series of increasingly bizarre rides

Unpopular opinion

fat! (teeth art teeth art teeth art!<3) (aso sidenote. a lot of people draw them extremely thin in a way that borders on uncomfortable. nope. it is extremely uncomfortable. all of them but that’s something for another day)

Favorite relationship

i like him and jet. like in a friendship way. it’s a cool dynamic in a way i can’t explain

Favorite headcanon

asshole! nah. not the leader

Send Me a Character!

[harrysgoldenbum]

A New Adventure* one shot

*Warning: smut 2.3k words

I know I am a couple of days late, but inspiration stuck and I went with it. Happy New Year Everyone!

NOTE: not edited

They stumbled into the house, Harry leaning heavily on Y/N. Her arm around his waist and his over her shoulders. The couple looking over their shoulders, at the car that is currently occupied by their good friends. They had gone to a mutual friend’s New Year party together. It’s just past 12:30 and Harry is just tipsy enough for Y/N to know that her man is soon going want to get himself action. She just hopes Harry gives her the chance to surprise him. Her husband pays a lot of attention to her body (and her of course).

“Can’t believe it! We are becoming an old couple! Barely the new year and we are home! Remember when I could stay out all night and not even be tried the next day! Wha’ happened to us!”

Chuckling quietly, Y/N glances up at her husband. “Honey, we have to go to the Key’s birthday party and we have to find time to fit in the Christmas decor clean up. We aren’t old! We… are um...just practical.” Carefully, guiding Harry to the stairs, Y/N hopes Harry will let her separate from him just long enough to get his surprise ready.

“Bein’ practical sucks! Next time we are staying up for three days! I demand it!”

“Alright sleepy beauty, the day you can stay up for three days is the day pigs can fly.”

“Oi! Why you bein’ so mean to me!” Harry whines. Walking into their bedroom Y/N makes him sit on the bed. Thanking the perfect opening she is given.

“Sorry love, how about I find a way to make it up to you?”

With a cheeky grin, her husband starts to get handsy. “Hhhmm I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me” His hands grip her hips tightly, before sliding down and cupping her ass. “Did I tell you that your ass looks amazing in this dress?” Harry mumbles as he starts to kiss up her neck. Y/N’s hands go straight to his hair. “Harry…” “Hhmm? You gonna make it up to me?” He starts to suck on the spot behind her ear that always has her toes curling. Inhaling deeply, Y/N tries to remember what she needs to do. “Yes… yes, I will… I need you -” her sentence is cut off when her husband starts to unzip her dress.

Shaking her head as if to clear the lustful fog, she steps away from Harry. “I have something for you, a gift, can I get it for you? Please?”

“But that wasn’t what I was thinkin’-” Trying to bring her back into his embrace, Harry stands and goes to grab her hands.

“Trust me baby.”

With a pout, Harry sits on their bed once again. With a small smile. Y/N takes the one step it takes to stand between his legs and kisses her husband’s lips gently. “I’ll be right back”.

She walks to their walk-in closet and opens the drawer that holds her lace. Her hands are shaking. ‘I can do this!’. She starts to strip out of her dress and removes the underwear she has on to put on hot, red, lace baby doll she bought just a couple of days ago. The baby doll’s cups push her breasts higher and is completely see-through. Just ending at the beginning of her thighs, she slides on the lacy, crotch less panties. She bends at the waist and runs her hands through her hair. Trying to give it the messy/just rolled out bed look that Harry just loves. Looking at her reflection she smiles brightly. Happy with her look, once again she goes to the shelves that hold her purses and grabs her black bag from the top shelf. Opening it she pulls out a red box with a gold bow. Then slowly slides the closet door open and hides the box behind her back. She is greeted by her very naked husband and the bedside lamps casting a warm golden glowing. Y/N laughs lowly when she sees that Harry has the 2020 new year glasses on. He hears the first few steps Y/N takes and glances up from pulling the bed sheets and comforter.  His mouth drops open and eyes widen. Y/N bites her lower lip and slowly starts walking toward Harry. As she gets closer to their bed, Harry starts crawling backward towards the headboard his eyes never leaving her body. Watching her, Y/N reaches the foot of the bed and starts crawling toward Harry. Once she reaches him, she straddles his hips. Eyes never leaving one another, Y/N slowly reaches over to the bedside table and places the box there.

“That’s for later” she whispers.

Harry’s hands are at Y/N’s hips and he is looking up are her “Fuckin’ hell, I married the sexiest woman in the world.” He starts to move hand over the material of the lingerie, “how did I get so fuckin’ lucky?’

Y/N leans forward and Harry’s eyes drop to her chest. Smiling against his lips, Y/N slowly licks his upper lip. “I don’t know baby, I would say I’m the one who got lucky. Millions of girls out there that wish they were me.”

Harry’s grip tightens. “Wouldn’ want anyone else here.”

Y/N slides her arms around his neck “good.” and finally kisses him square on the lips. First drawing his upper lip in and sucking on it before lightly nipping it with her teeth. She does the same with his full bottom lip too. Then after a while, Harry can no longer take the teasing and slides his hands from her hips, up to her chest, giving her breast a squeeze. He continues to move one hand to her neck and finally into her hair. Giving a firm (yet gentle) tug Harry takes over the kiss. He slowly slides his tongue into her mouth, before finally sucking on her tongue. All the while his fingers pluck at her nipple through her outfit. Bringing them to stiff peaks. Needing air in his lungs, Harry removes his mouth from his wife’s and immediately connects them to Y/N’s neck. Harry slides his hands down her body to the junction between her legs and freezes. “Are you not wearing-”

A giggle leaves Y/N’s lips before she can help herself. “They’re crotch less”

An animalistic noise escapes from the back of Harry’s throat brings a smirk onto her lips and before she could realize, Harry lifted the both of then and brought Y/N’s back to the bed. Looking up at her husband, she sensed the change in her husband. With a wild glint in his eyes, Harry practically ripped her flimsy nightwear and throws it over his shoulder. Without any hesitation, he drops his head and latches on to one of Y/N’s nipples and sucks deep. Y/N’s back arches, trying to get closer to her source of pleasure. Her fingers lock on to the curly locks that cover her husband’s head. All the while, Harry slowly starts to ease his middle finger into his wife’s core.

“Fucking soaked” Harry moans against Y/N’s breast, a desperate moan is released from Y/N’s lips. “Who gets you that way, huh? Dripping onto the bed sheets and we’ve just gotten started”

“Y-you do!” Y/N whimpers, tossing her head left and right “a-always am when I’m with y-you.”

With a groan, Harry moves down her chest closer to her center.  He blows air on her lower opening, “Takin’ me finger so well petal.” Adding his ring finger, he pumps in and out of her slowly before curling his finger and touching the spongy spot on her inner wall.

Releasing a wet moan, Y/N begs for more, and not one to deny his wife, Harry starts sucking on the erect clit in front of him. “Y-yes! Yesss! I’m going to c-cum! I’m-”

Her hands tighten on harry’s curls. With a deep bend of her back, her walls start to milk his fingers. “That’s it, baby, work my fingers.” Harry continues to pump his fingers in her trying to prolong her pleasure. When her orgasm comes to an end her moves back up to her. Caging her in. Her lips are a dark raspberry color from kissing and working her teeth against it. Her eyelids are lowered and her hair creating a halo around her.

“God, you’re beautiful” Harry whispers in awe.

A shy smile makes its way to Y/N’s face. “You aren’t hard to look at either Harry” she inputs quietly. She cups one side of his neck and pulled him down for a gentle kiss. Then just like her husband, her hands slowly travel down to the hard organ that rests between Harry’s legs. Caressing him first, Y/N tightens she hands around his cock and starts to pump slowly. Harry’s head drops to watch her small hands pleasure him. She brings her thumb over his tip, causing him to shudder.

“Fuck.” Harry hisses. “Love watching you take care of me.” Y/N’s hands continue to twist, go up, go down, round his tip, and every once in a while she will cup his balls. ���Can’ take anymo’” he removes her hands from him and brings them up to his chest. He gives her a long kiss. Tongues caress each other, teeth nipping lips. Pulling away, Harry grabs himself and positions himself. Inch by inch, he enters his wife’s pussy, stretching her out. “Always so tight ‘n warm” His thrusts start off shallow, once the both of them are more comfortable with the rhythm, Harry moved one of Y/N’s legs and hooks it to his shoulder. Allowing him to travel deeper into his wife’s canal. The only noises that can be heard are the moans that both parties are releasing. Harry drops his head and starts to suck on one of Y/N’s hard nipples. He nips the bud, before soothing it with his tongue. He does the same with her other tit. He pulls away and rests his forehead against hers.

“Look at us petal” he pants, “look at how g-good you take me.”

“More… h-harder” Y/N begs.

With a guttural moan, Harry brings her leg down from his shoulder, Harry plants both Y/N’s feet on the bed. He surges up to his knees and grasps Y/N’s hips up to meet him thrust after thrust, causing her shoulder-blades and head to sink into the mattress. Sweat drips down Harry’s brow onto Y/N’s belly. The room echos with the sound of skin slapping against skin.

“Gonna leave bruises on yeh. Given it that hard.”

Unable to make a sound, all Y/N can do is grab Harry’s wrists and pant through the pleasure. The couple keeps eye contact until Harry hit the right spot and Y/N’s roll into the back of her head.

“Foun’ it, didn’t I”

“C-close, I’m close” Y/N manages.

“Me t-too love”

Harry’s speed picks up and it’s almost unbearable for the couple, to be hanging off the edge for so long until they fall together. Placing his thumb on Y/N’s clit, he circles slowly, as if he is just barely making contact with the sensitive ball. But that more than enough to push Y/N over the edge. Crying out his name she cums… HARD. Toes curling, nails digging, every muscle in her body tightening (even ones she forgot about). One, two, three thrusts later Harry feels his balls tighten and white light flash behind his eyelids. He joins Y/N in the fall of the pleasurable abyss. Rooting into her, Harry tucks his face into Y/N’s neck. The husband and wife cling to each other as they try to recover from their journey.

Once their breathing becomes normal, Harry pecks kisses all around Y/N’s face and neck. With a sigh, Harry slowly starts to lift off his wife. Still sensitive, a whimper escapes from Y/N’s throat. It takes longer for Y/N to recover and once she does her first instinctive reaction is to cuddle with her husband. No words are spoken between the couple, they are so absorbed at the moment that they don’t even realize it. It isn't until the random patterns Harry is drawing on her back with his fingertips does she remember what all this excitement was for. Reaching over to the bedside table, she grabs the box. Harry watches her curiously, as she presents the box to him.

“Christmas was days ago love” he jokes, “and me birthday isn't for another month.”

“This is a different kind of gift” wringing her hands, she lays on her side. “Open it.”

And that’s exactly what he does. And in the box, he finds a small onesie that says ‘Mama’s Boy’ and another that says ‘Daddy’s Angel’.

“Wha-”

And at the bottom, is a pregnancy test (wrapped in tissue) and a sonogram picture. Harry looks up at his wife speechless.

“I know we haven’t been trying for long, but um I guess we were really good at it…” she doesn’t get to finish explaining, because Harry is suddenly on her. Kissing her with so much emotion, she didn’t know how to explain it. He pulls away and places a gentle kiss on her tummy.

“How long have you known,” he asks looking up at her with tears in his eyes.

“Two weeks. I’m six weeks in.” Y/N whispers with tears falling down her temple, “ we can’t find out what the gender is until I am about sixteen weeks and I didn’t know which outfit to get.”

“We’re having a baby. A little prince or princess.”

“It’s going to be a new adventure.”

~~~~~~~~~

My Works

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Ball Debrief (2/16/2021)

So on the Sunday before Mardi Gras, Alastor and Sir Pentious a.k.a. Telly (@usedhearts) went to a Mardi Gras ball, got drunk, and made out. On Mardi Gras evening, Sir Pentious a.k.a. just-Sir-Pentious-still-because-he’s-never-asked-Alastor-to-call-him-anything-else (@hiss-and-vinegar​) found out from Telly that he and Alastor went to a ball, and messages Alastor to ask about it.

Alastor comes over to tell Sir Pentious about it, reassure him that he’s NOT replacing him with a new snake bestie, and then starts panicking while trying to summarize the ball because oh god he’s not ready to face the possibility of Romance.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 SO, ALASTOR. WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT IT WAS THE OTHER SIR PENTIOUS THAT YOU'D GONE OUT WITH?

🐍 YOU LEFT THAT OUT FOR SOME REASON, AND IT SEEMS AN IMPORTANT DETAIL.

🐍 DID YOU NOT WANT ME TO KNOW?

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I was going to tell you my plans the last time you and I hung out! I just didn't get around to it before you had to go.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 OH.

🐍 AND YOU AND HIM GOT DRUNK? I SUPPOSE THAT IS A CARNAVAL ACTIVITY...

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Nothing to drink there but champagne and wine, I'm afraid.

🎶 Truth be told, I got much drunker than I should have.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 YES, I WAS SURPRISED TO HEAR YOU'D GOTTEN HUNGOVER, TRUTH BE TOLD.

🐍 MUST HAVE BEEN A WILD PARTY!

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Wilder than it should have been.

🎶 But yes, some exciting things did happen! Very exciting!

🎶 Actually—do you want to meet? It's so much harder to have a conversation over text, and I'd like to tell you about my evening if you want to hear about it.

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 VERY WELL, LET'S MEET. TEXT IS DIFFICULT TO ASCERTAIN THE MEANING OF CERTAIN THINGS.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 Where do you want—hotel, airship, other?

hiss-and-vinegar

🐍 THE AIRSHIP.

dontasktheradiodemon

🎶 I’ll be there in five minutes.

Alastor

Guess who! It’s Alastor, just like he promised. Wearing what looks like a costume constructed completely out of multicolored fabric fringe trim and carrying a bowl of gumbo. He sort of rustles when he moves. “Hello~?”

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious was awaiting him in the sitting room, looking kind of SULKY..... Draped over the couch......

Until he sees whatever the fuck Alastor is dressed as. SNRK. HE STARTS LAUGHING.

"WHAT THE *HELL* IS THAT??"

Alastor

He looks down at himself. Oh, right. “It’s a costume!” Very informative, Alastor. “An old and *noble* Mardi Gras tradition! You see—we wear these to steal chicken.” He holds out his bowl. “Speaking of which! Gumbo?”

Sir Pentious

Ah- RIGHT, Mardis Gras..... Sir Pentious sinks down again..... He's looking away.....

Alastor

Alastor slowly lowers the gumbo bowl. “I made sure this serving got the tender meat chunks.” ~~PLEASE LIKE HIM.~~ “I’ll just... set it over here and you can put it in the ice box later.”

He takes a seat near Sir Pentious. “So! Here I am!”

Sir Pentious

He likes you SO MUCH but he THINKS you DO NOT LIKE HIM AS MUCH!

He *siiiighs*........ So dramatic...... and he looks at Alastor.... Glances away.... Glances back....

"THANK YOU FOR THE GUMBO, I AM NOT YET HUNGRY AT THE MOMENT..."

Alastor

PENNY YOU FOOL.

“Sure! Not a problem! It’ll be there later!” DEEP BREATH. “So! You... wanted to know about the big shindig, I think?”

Sir Pentious

Deeeeep inhale.......

".... YESSS...... THE ONE WHERE YOU WENT WITH A *DIFFERENT* SSSIR PENTIOUSSSSS.... AND DIDN'T TELL ME, BUT BECAUSE IT NEVER CAME UP....." Oh. Mopey..... His arms are folded....

"A NEW SSSIR PENTIOUSSSSS TO DRINK WITH, TO PARTY WITH...."

Alastor

*Oh.* Okay, all right, Alastor senses a brewing crisis. He’s going to put the party report in a box and shove it in a closet until he deals with this.

“Hey, now!” He scoots closer. “It’s not like that! It was a... a sort of a last minute thing, is all—we made plans barely a week before the ball, and you and I didn’t really talk that week except the one night you got the big news—and, well, what’s a weekend party plan next to news like *that*...” He trails off awkwardly. Then starts again: “He’s not the ‘new Sir Pentious.’ He’s not replacing you, my friend.”

Sir Pentious

He doesn't move away at all when Al scoots closer, which is a good sign, but he's still having a hard time making (all) eye contact, sighing again....

"HE ISSSSN'T?"

Alastor

“No! *You’re* still my best friend, and that’s not about to change! Sure, you’ve—got quite a bit in common—and I appreciate what you’ve got in common—“ oh now he’s embarrassed, he’s looking away, “—but I told you once that I like you for reasons that are unique to *you,* and that’s still true.”

Sir Pentious

Tongue flicks.... He looks at Alastor again, hood kind of droopy as his hands wring together.....

"WE ARE *RATHER* DIFFERENT, YESSS. SSSSIMILAR IN LOOKSSS, QUINTESSENTIALLY DIFFERENT UPBRINGINGSSS."

Alastor

“Different upbringings, different tastes, different hobbies, different demeanors... I can’t imagine him ever tackling me in a hotel lobby!” Alastor laughs. “If I only hung out with him, I’d miss *you.*”

Sir Pentious

Oh. He tilts his head a bit.... Moves a little closer, as subtly as a snake can... And bumps shoulders with Alastor.

..... CLEARS HIS THROAT, "*WELL*, YOU SSSTILL SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME EARLIER! I COULD HAVE AT THE VERY *LEASSST* HELPED YOU *PREPARE* TO HANG OUT WITH A SSSSSNAKE!"

Alastor

Alastor bumps shoulders back. "And what kind of preparation would you have given me? Don't I know how to hang out with snakes?"

Sir Pentious

He looks smug, throwing an arm around the other's shoulders.

"DO YOU REALLY? SSSOMETIMESSS YOU BLUNDER ABOUT HALFHAZARDLY! HAHAHA!"

He's teasing, and to prove so, he winks.

Alastor

He flings an arm around Sir Pentious's shoulders. "Well, you haven't excommunicated me yet! I must be doing *something* right!" He laughs. This is so much *simpler.* It's a relief.

Sir Pentious

PRR PRR PRR PRR. The relief is MUTUAL... Penny wouldn't have been able to handle losing his best friend to another Pentious.

He CACKLES, "WELL, THAT COULD CHANGE! IF THE GUMBO ISN'T UP TO MY SSSTANDARDSSS, I COULD DROP YOU THROUGH A TRAP DOOR!!"

Alastor

Now he's got *both* arms around Sir Pentious. "Try it and you're coming with me!"

Sir Pentious

Prr prr prr! That cackling continues, Sir Pentious flicking his tongue at the other. Flip flip flip flip.

"YOU ARE *NOT* SSSSTRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE ME DOWN! I RECALL CRUSHING YOU WITH MY ENTIRE WEIGHT!"

Alastor

"That's when I was playing fair! Drop me down a trap door, and I start calling my friends! Anyway, what *I* recall is fighting you to a draw."

Sir Pentious

He gives a *face*, "YOUR MEMORY MUSSST BE *FAULTY!* BUT WHATEVER, TELL ME ABOUT THE BALL, THEN! RARE TO SSEE YOU GET INTO SSSUCH A HUNGOVER SSSTATE!"

Alastor

"Oh." Alastor is immediately awkward! "I shouldn't have drunk that much. I wish I hadn't. But, well." He shoves aside the awkward and tries to act normal. "It was a masquerade ball! Either black tie or costumes. Not *this* costume," he flaps an arm to set all the fabric fringe rustling, "but a proper one. Uh—dinner and a drag show for the first half—Mardi Gras balls always have a presentation of the royal court by the krewe that put on the ball and they're always so *dull,* I found us a ball by a gay krewe that actually did something interesting with it. And a dance for the second half of the ball."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious enjoys the rustling sound, watching that wacky costume flutter about.

"A *GAY* KREWE? HMM, MUSSST HAVE BEEN MUCH MORE COLORFUL, FLAMBOYANTLY SSSO." You're one to talk, Penny. "A DANCE, A DRAG SHOW, AND MASQUERADE!! WHAT WERE YOUR COSSSTUMESSS? DID I HEAR THAT YOU WERE A PIRATE OR SSSSSOMETHING?"

Alastor

"My goodness, yes! Some of the best costumes I've seen in years! Some of the krewe's costumes had decorations so wide the tables nearest the runway had to duck!" Alastor laughs. "He, uh—wanted to do a sea serpent theme. Obviously I can't pull off the 'serpent' part very well, so we cobbled together something somewhat piratical for me so we'd match. Mainly, it meant a lot of blue and green and pearls."

Sir Pentious

Sea serpent. Of course he would. Penny's face wrinkles a little at the memory of swimming, before he rubs it off, "OH? I IMAGINE THAT SIR PENTIOUS LOOKED RATHER STUNNING AS A SEA SERPENT! WE HAVE NATURAL GOOD LOOKSSSS." Probably not. the most smooth thing he's said, since he's aware of Alastor's crush BUT he wasn't *trying* to tease him, just speaking earnestly.

"I SHOULD LIKE TO SSSEE YOUR PIRATE ATTIRE! I IMAGINE YOU HAD A MASSSSK ON? CAN'T HAVE THE ENTIRE BALLROOM RUNNING IN FEAR AT THE SSSIGHT OF YOU!"

Alastor

The awkward's back! As well as embarrassment. Alastor has to look away. "He did, yes."

On to the next topic. "Oh, of course. I always go to Mardi Gras events in a mask! I'll pull the whole thing out sometime soon to show you."

Sir Pentious

HEE HEE. "OH, I WOULD LIKE THAT!" Though he's tilting his head a little at Alastor's head turning away. "WELL, IT SSSOUNDSSS LIKE YOU HAD FUN. DID YOU DANCE?"

Alastor

The slightest wince. "... We did, yes." He's just gonna twist his hands together in his lap and fidget. "By that point we were both too drunk to dance particularly *well,* but..."

Sir Pentious

It's very weird to watch this colorful paper mache of a man fidget his hands together. Sir Pentious leans his head in CLOSER, as he is ought to do, and flicks his tongue. Blelelele.

"YOU DON'T SSSSEEM HAPPY ABOUT IT?"

Alastor

"I kissed him." The words tumble out like he's confessing to a long-secret murder. His smile's hanging on by a thread. "*He* kissed *me.* There was reciprocal kissing, is what I'm trying to— We kissed." Having finally gotten this heinous crime off his chest, he buries his face in his hands.

Sir Pentious

,

Sir Pentious' tongue snaps back into his mouth much like measuring tape. His eyes are wide as dinner plates, and his brow is only ascending higher and higher, the longer he's spending processing *that.*

Alastor

"*I know.*" Alastor doesn't even have to look up, he can hear that awkward silence. "It was the end of the night, we were both completely inebriated—*God*, I hope he doesn't remember it..."

Sir Pentious

He's still processing what to say--mostly he's trying to imagine what it must have looked like for Alastor and Telly to mash their faces together. He *RESISTS* the face scrunch, expertly.

Penny opens his mouth, then closes it again.... then GRABS Alastor by the shoulders, "YOU *KISSsssssssED???*"

Alastor

"*Yes!* I'm sorr— Why am I apologizing to you?" He squirms out of the shoulder grip, don't look at his face, he's miserable. "I couldn't even go—how long have I known him—less than two months?!—without doing something unforgivably stupid!"

Sir Pentious

He's not sure if this feels like a breath of *relief* or like he's filling with *apprehension.* He can clearly see the alarm on Alastor's--well. Body language. Penny shakes his head, looking up at his hat, which appears to be looking down at him like *dont look at ME!!! IDK!!!*

"HAVE YOU *SSSS*POKEN WITH HIM SSSINCE???"

Alastor

"Just once. Just a generic 'how's your headache, I had fun,' no specifics. He asked if he left his fan with me, he didn't remember. That was also at the end of the night, so maybe he forgot." His head is in his hands again and his fingers are in his hair.

Sir Pentious

Penny considers... petting Alastor's head but after word like that, you know. Maybe that would be a bad idea. His tongue flicks in concern, and he can't help but think back-- before Christmas, in fact, when Alastor had told him that the only one he'd had a crush on was himself-- that is, Penley Dreadful, *not* Pentell.

It wasn't necessarily upset he was feeling, but... it was cause for concern, here. For once in his life, Sir Pentious considered someone else's feelings, instead of just his own.

"ARE YOU... FEELING *GUILTY* OVER THISSS, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

"Yes." The word sort of comes out like a choked croak. "Guilt and regret and terror and... and grief, and..." Just curling up farther. His head is *under* his hands now.

Sir Pentious

He reaches a hand up move some of Al's hair out of his face, at the very least....

"YOU MENTIONED IT WAS *RECIPROCATED*, YESSS??? CLEARLY, THAT SSSAYS A LOT TO *ME*. WE SIR PENTIOUSESSSS ARE NOTHING IF NOT DELIBERATE IN OUR ACTIONSSSS, INEBRIATED OR NOT...."

Alastor

"*You* kiss me. On the forehead, sure, but—*his* weren't on the lips either until I went and..." It's all garbled noises and radio static for a moment as Alastor rubs his eyelids with his thumbs. "It could be platonic! He could have meant it platonically! And what if it *wasn't* platonic?" Alastor asks this like it's the most horrifying possibility of all.

Sir Pentious

Penny looks to the right. Then the left. Then back at Alastor.

"THEN YOU MAKE A DATE?"

Alastor

"*Then I get smited by the god of death* that he's *dating,* Sir Pentious! *He is dating!* He's in a relationship! I've become the kind of person who kisses a taken man!" A pause. "... Smited? Smote?"

Sir Pentious

*SMitten?* Wait no, don't say that one out loud.

Sir Pentious tilts his head, tongue flicking, "HMMM .... YESSS, THAT'SSS A THING, ISN'T IT?" What *does* one do in that situation? .... But more importantly...

"... WHY DID YOU KISSsss HIM?"

Alastor

"Because I was drunk." Surely that explains everything.

Sir Pentious

".... NO, BUT...." How to... phrase this delicately................ "BECAUSE HE ISSS SSSSIR PENTIOUS?? OR BECAUSE HE ISSSS *TELLY?*"

Alastor

He hesitates before answering; but he can't hesitate for long. He knows the answer, he's just ashamed to give it. "Because he's Sir Pentious."

Sir Pentious

Penny isn't able to hide the sorrowful look that crosses his expression... not out of his own sadness, but rather, *concern*. He's looking off to the side, without turning his head, navigating his way through thoughts.

".... IF *TELLY* KISSED YOU IN RETURN, REssssCIPROCATED, AS IT WERE, THEN IT LIKELY ISSS NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE *ALASSSTOR*. HE DOESSSS NOT GET ALONG WITH THE RADIO DEMON FROM HISsssss OWN HELL." Another pause. ".... IT'Sssss BECAUSE YOU ARE *YOU.*"

... He clears his throat, "AT LEASSSSsssT THAT'SSS MY SSSPECULATION ON THE MATTER. THAT MAN WEARSSSS HISSSS HEART ON HISSSS SLEEVE, FROM THE TIMESSS I'VE SSSSPENT WITH HIM."

Alastor

"I know." He finally drops his hands. He's not smiling. Not even close. "He does. He's—tender and open and sweet—and none of those words are compliments! It's not what I want! ... Except when I'm around him, and then..." He shrugs helplessly. "I hate this."

Sir Pentious

His head swivels, cobra-like in every way, and Sir Pentious pets down his hood, thinking.

"... ALASSsssTOR, I THINK YOU REALLY NEED TO SSSORT OUT YOUR FEELINGSSS ON THE MATTER, BECAUSE YOU COULD BE HEADED FOR SsssOMETHING RATHER DANGEROUSSSS. WE SSSIR PENTIOUSSSSESSS DON'T ACCEPT HEARTBREAK *GENTLY.*" Tongue flick. Oh fuck he's goddawful at being comforting, but what does one SAY?

"AND IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESSSSTED IN *HIM*, THEN YOU NEED TO TELL HIM THAT, TOO. OR EXPLAIN THAT YOU WOULD RATHER REMAIN FRIENDSSSS. BUT IF YOU *ARE* INTERESSSTED IN A MAN WHO IS ALSO IN A RELATIONSHIP... A MAN FOR HISSS OWN MERITSSS, AND NOT JUST ONE WHO HAPPENSSS TO LOOK LIKE.... WELL, YOU KNOW." Cough, "THEN YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT THAT EVEN MORE! BETTER TO *KNOW* THAN *NOT.*"

Alastor

“I’ve been trying to sort out my feelings for the last two days! Longer than *that,* actually,” he laughs bitterly, “but it’s an emergency now. Did you know that it’s damn hard to think logically and feel emotions at the same time?” Cue that “the more you know” sound effect.

“It’s not *just* that he *looks* the same, it’s—you know, the same—same *mind,* same ambitions, same inventiveness, same laugh...” He crosses his arms tightly over his stomach and hunches forward again. “But I don’t want—that, with him. That is—I *do* want it—but I don’t want to want it. I want to not want it. I want to shut it *off.*”

Sir Pentious

Penny is reminded of the things Alastor told him, when he'd BIT the radio demon and Alastor's apologies upon apologies tumbled out. How he hated being attracted to Sir Pentious, how he hated feeling like this. That's right, he hated this feeling. His tongue flicks in thought and... he reaches a hand over to place it on Alastor's shoulder. Carefully......

"WELL, AL, I DON'T THINK YOU *CAN* SHUT IT OFF. YOU SSSTILL HAVE THE CAPACITY TO FEEL THISSS WAY IN HELL OF ALL PLACESSS, THEN IT'SSS JUSST GOING TO HAVE TO SSTAY. MOVING FORWARD, WHAT ISSS THERE TO BE DONE? YOU DON'T WANT TO WANT IT, BUT WHAT IF TELLY WANTSSS IT?" He doesn't even talk about Hel. He's NEVER MET HER, and he's not about to talk about a third party he's never met.

Alastor

He responds to the touch by immediately sitting up just enough to lean against Sir Pentious. *Fwump.* That’s the whole weight of the Radio Demon against Penny’s shoulder. “I know. I’ve been trying to shut it off for fifty-four years, if it hasn’t worked by now... You’ve made a cringe-powered weapon, can’t you make an attraction-powered one? Just, jam a couple of probes into my skull and fire until it’s all been drained out?” One corner of his mouth twitches up, haha he made joke—but it wilts again. He’s not really joking. He actually wants that.

What if Telly *does* want it? What does Alastor do then? “Block him on voxblr, leave the hotel, change my broadcasting frequency, and never speak to him again.”

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious puts his arm around Alastor, encouraging him to lean against him as he slips his tail around his friend, even as they sat on the couch. His face splits in a grin, "I'VE BEEN *WANTING* TO TURN YOU INTO A GUN, BUT PERHAPSSS NOT SSSOMETHING FOR *THAT* PURPOSE."

The grin lessens, and he shakes his head.

"I CANNOT AGREE WITH THAT. RUNNING AWAY WILL NOT HELP YOU, AND IF ANYTHING, I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO HURT THAT MAN LIKE THAT."

Alastor

He lets out a long groan. It’s more of a whine. He lets out an extremely long groan whine.

“You’re right.”

Although he doesn’t *like* it.

“All right, Sir Plato, if you’re going to ask me questions that you already have the answers to—what *is* there to be done? What *do* I do?”

Sir Pentious

He looks so smug. Let him sit here with the perfect >:) face.

And he turns to Alastor.

"YOU ARE GOING TO TALK TO TELLY, ADDRESS WHAT HAPPENED, AND EXPLAIN YOUR INTENTIONSSSS. ISN'T THAT FAIR? NOW, IF YOU HAPPEN TO REALIZE THAT MAYBE YOU *WOULD* LIKE TO HAVE SSSOMETHING *LESSsss* PLATONIC, IT'SSS WORTH THINKING OVER IN YOUR MIND."

Was it weird to imagine Alastor banging an alt of himself? Absolutely. But knowing that Alastor already had a crush on Snakes BEFORE himself, made it a little less weird. As long as he didn't hear the details of whatever they could get up to in the future, then that would be GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM.

"BUT, IF YOU ARE ssssCERTAIN THISSS IS NOT sssSOMETHING YOU WANT-- THEN YOU OWE IT TO TELLY TO BE *HONESssssT.*" He remembers holding Telly in his arms, the way that snake sobbed from every eye as he talked about being mocked, about being hurt over and over. That moment, plus the other's strange insistence on Penny swimming, was enough to endear the smaller snake to Penny. "YOU WERE HONESSST WITH ME, AND WE ARE SSSTILL FRIENDSSS."

Alastor

Alastor nods thoughtfully.

He thinks that over.

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t think I’m going to do any of that. Thank you for the excellent advice, I’m rejecting all of it.” He pulls up his knees and wraps his arms around them. Fetal position piñata man. “Everything’s been more stressful since you found out. I don’t want that again. Have any advice that lets me rewind three days and go off to the ball with a flask of ginger ale and white grape juice so I don’t do anything stupid?”

Sir Pentious

FACE SCRUNCH.

"WHAT DO YOU *MEAN* EVERYTHINGSSSS BEEN MORE SSSTRESSFUL? FOR *WHO?* FOR YOU????" He folds his arms now, huffing, "YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT, BUT I KNOW NOW, AND I'M *GLAD* I KNOW. AND MAYBE THAT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH TO YOU, BUT IT PUTSSS ME AT EASE!" Sir Pentious shakes his head. "YOU *KISSED* THE MAN, NOW OWN UP TO IT, ALASSSTOR!"

Alastor

“Well, if it hasn’t been stressful for *you,* then yes, for me! But I’m glad that having my deepest secrets sitting naked on the couch next to us every time we interact has been a walk in the park for you!” He crosses his arms tighter and scowls at his knees. “He can own up to it first, he started it.”

Sir Pentious

OKAY, WELL, HE'S NOT GOING TO RESPOND TO THAT, if Alastor wants  to be a PISS BABY, Pentious isn't going to even DIGNIFY THAT with an answer. His arms fold tighter, and he scowls, too.

"WHAT DO YOU *MEAN* HE SSSTARTED IT? BY BEING A SSSIR PENTIOUS? YOU TOLD ME THAT *YOU* KISSED *HIM* AND THAT *HE* RECIPROCATED! IF ANYTHING, *YOU* SSSTARTED IT!"

Alastor

“He kissed my mask! Twice! On the nose *and* the cheek! And on the lips before that, but we were both wearing masks then, and we were doing an improv dramatic dialogue as Greek gods then, so I don’t know if it counts—but the nose and the cheek were all him!” And his voice is edging back into panic as he reports this.

Sir Pentious

Well this was weird. Is this how everyone else felt all the time? Being able to just clearly recognize something as romantic or flirting, while he consistently never saw anything weird about it? Intent always had a lot to do with that, but here........... I mean.

"...." Penny turns to Alastor, brow raised as he leans in close and rests his elbow against the back of the couch, his head resting on his palm, "I THINK HE'S INTO YOU, MAN."

Alastor

“You kiss my forehead all the time!” It’s happened like, three times. *All the time.* “AND I had a mask on, it doesn’t count!” He turns to squeeze Sir Pentious’s shoulder and give him a desperate look. “Don’t ruin this for me, I don’t want him to be into me!”

Sir Pentious

"I'VE NEVER KISSED YOUR FOREHEAD WHILE *DANCING* AT A *GAY MARDIS GRAS MASQUERADE BALL* WHILE DRESS-ED LIKE A SEA SERPENT AND YOU LIKE A PIRATE!!!" His hands FLAP! "I AM NOT ATTEMPTING TO RUIN ANYTHING, ALASSSTOR, I WANT TO HELP YOU, BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO SSSELF IMMOLATE OUT OF *FEAR!*"

Alastor

DEEP BREATH IN. “Right. Yes. Thanks. I’m... very good at self-immolating out of fear.” Deep breath out. He sinks back on the couch again.

Sir Pentious

SIGH. What to DO about this. Penny presses two of his talons against his forehead in thought.

"KISSING YOUR FOREHEAD IS AN ACT OF PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP FROM ME, AND MOSSSSST CERTAINLY NOT ROMANTICALLY INTENDED. I CANNOT KNOW WHAT TELLY WAS GOING FOR, BUT RECIPROCATION OF A KISS ON THE MOUTH DOES SSSTRIKE ME AS MUCH DIFFERENT...."

He puts his tail on Al again,  "SSSO WHAT ISSS IT YOU ARE AFRAID OF? HEL?? THAT SSSEEMS A REASONABLE THING, THOUGH SSSTRANGE OF TELLY TO JUSSSST.... CHEAT ON HIS GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT." Penny you are NOT helping.

Alastor

“He definitely kissed me first, but they might have been platonic friendship kisses. He might have only reciprocated on the mouth because *I* kissed *him* on the mouth. And, again, we were both very drunk.”

He drums his fingers on Sir Pentious’s tail. That’s Alastor’s tail now. “I’m afraid of being one of those lovelorn googoo-eyed idiots who’s so desperate for some no-account loser’s affection that they’re willing to be the secret side piece. I’m afraid of that dazed, drugged, brainless look Shirley Jones gets on her face when she spontaneously decides Robert Preston has switched from pain in the posterior to walking dreamboat. I’m afraid of my happiness being dependent on someone else’s happiness. I’m afraid of what happens to me if anything ever happens to him. I’m afraid of what happens to *him* if everyone finds out what what he means to me. I’m afraid of... losing my personality in another person.” His fingers slowly still. “Getting smote by a goddess is somewhere low on the list, but if I can’t get out of this, I think it might be a mercy.”

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious listens, fingers laced together as Alastor is very honest in regards to his fears... Hmmm....

"THEN PERHAPSSS YOU SHOULD TELL HIM THAT YOU CANNOT DO IT, THAT YOU WOULD RATHER REMAIN PLATONIC, THAT DESPITE YOUR.." He thinks. "INCLINATIONSSS? IT WOULD BE TOO AWFUL FOR YOU, SSSSPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OF RELATIONSHIPSSS NOT BEING YOUR THING." It wouldn't be a HAPPY ending, but it would be an honest one.

"BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU DESCRIBED IS.... WELL, MANY OF THEM SSSSOUND LIKE A FEAR OF BEING VULNERABLE..... I ONCE HAD SSSIMILAR FEARSSSS MYSSSSELF..... BUT SSSINCE BEING WITH VALERA, I'VE NEVER FELT MORE SECURE IN WHO I AM." He's playing with his ring now, smiling at it fondly.

Alastor

Alastor watches Sir Pentious play with his ring for a moment. Then shakes his head and looks away. “It’s not vulnerability, it’s... Here’s the thing, I know exactly who I am and what I’m about. Or at least,” scoff, “I did *before* I felt like this for the first time. Whenever I feel like this—I don’t feel like myself anymore. I feel like a stranger. Whoever that man is, I don’t want to be him. I’ve never felt *less* secure in who I am.”

Sir Pentious

A soft exhale.... Sir Pentious shakes his head. "THEN IT SSSEEMSSS OBVIOUSSS TO ME. BE HONEST OF YOUR INTENTIONSSSS, AND HAVE SSSOME SSSELF CONTROL! OTHERWISE I FEEL LIKE THIS IS THE KIND OF SITUATION THAT COULD SSSSPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL."

Alastor

“And what’s the ‘obvious’ solution to you? Because you told me I should tell him I don’t want anything with him, and then in the same breath told me that falling in love was the greatest thing that ever happened to your sense of security and I’m just scared of being vulnerable.” He leans into Sir Pentious. Bump. “Are you telling me my intentions ought to be to go for it, or to run for the hills?”

Sir Pentious

"YOU TELL ME THAT YOU DON'T WANT IT, AND I'M NOT SURE IF ITSSS BECAUSE OF A FEAR OF *CHANGE* OR ACTUALLY NOT WANTING IT!"

He folds his arms, "THEY ARE NOT THE SSSAME. BUT IF YOU ACTUALLY DO NOT WANT IT, YOU NEED TO BE DIRECT WITH TELLY!! BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THERE WILL BE CONSSSSEQUENCESSSSS."

Alastor

“It’s because of *actually* not—“ He stops. He thinks about it. That’s too reductive. He sighs and tries again. “There’s a part of me that... wants... to be with him. There is. That’s the part of me that’s... *attracted*. The rest of me doesn’t *like* the part of me that’s attracted. If I could choose between ‘being with him’ and ‘not being attracted,’ I would *prefer* to not be attracted... but there are different parts of me that want both.”

He shrugs heavily. “It’s not a fear of change—a fear of *change* means a fear of the *process,* doesn’t it? Dreading all the work and upheaval. I can handle change. I *like* change—external change. What I’m afraid of is changing *inside.* Looking in the mirror and—and not recognizing myself anymore!” A pause. “... Although I don’t think I’ve recognized myself in a long time, anyway.” Another pause. “And whoever I’d turn into—he probably wouldn’t care once all this was over, would he? He’ll probably be happy to be whoever he is. The person who was afraid would be long gone.”

He glances over to catch Sir Pentious’s gaze, and then rolls his eyes, as if they’re together mocking some third person’s terrible romantic quandary. “Well, I was trying make things *less* confusing! I did a swell job of that, didn’t I?” Cue the laugh track. “Here’s the one thing I know for sure—I don’t want to hurt him. Whatever else I do, I want to do it in a way that won’t harm him.”

Sir Pentious

The laugh track has Hattie looking amused, even while Penny is giving Alastor the HAIRY EYE BALL.

He turns to look upon this colorful paper disaster man, from head to toe, then jabs him in the shoulder with a talon.

"I KNOW FOR SSSSCERTAIN THAT YOU HATE THE MAN YOU WERE, AND ARE. EVERY SSSSTORY YOU'VE TOLD ME ABOUT YOURSELF IS *LACED* WITH HOW MUCH YOU DISLIKE YOURSELF. SO THEN WHY *NOT* CHANGE?"

He spreads his own hand against his chest, splaying his fingers, "I UNDERSTAND, IN THAT CAPACITY! YOU KNOW, I HAVE ENOUGH SELF LOATHING TO CREATE A WHOLE NEW MAN! BUT THE MAN I'VE *BECOME* HAS A BETTER TRACK RECORD THAN THE ONE BEFORE. YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN HUNGOVER IN *MONTHSSSSS.*"   he looks so proud of himself.

"AND! I HAVEN'T ENTERTAINED THOUGHTSSS OF SSSNOGGING A 45 CALIBER!" Look how he preens.

"WHEN I *THINK* OF WHO I WAS BEFORE VALERA.... I DO NOT WANT TO EVEN *ENTERTAIN* THE FANTASY. I'VE GROWN MORE *POWERFUL* THAN I WAS BEFORE." He bumps shoulders with Al, "IN MY *EXPERT* OPINION, YOU OUGHT TO EMBRACE THE CHANGE.... YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN WHAT HAPPENSSS IF YOU AVOID IT.... RATHER *DESSSSTRUCTIVELY* SSSO. WHY NOT GO THE OTHER WAY???"

Alastor

“I do *not* hate the man I was!” He places a hand over his chest indignantly. “I *like* the man I was! Quite a bit, in fact. The man I hate is the one I became after—”

*After I fell in love,* is what he almost says. But that isn’t true, is it. Because he fell in and immediately avoided it. *Destructively so.* Alastor actually has no idea what he’s like when he’s *in love*—only when he’s *heartbroken.*

“... after I ran away.”

Alastor’s damn sure he won’t get more powerful. He’s pretty damn sure Sir Pentious didn’t get more powerful, either—Alastor would bet money that it’s a placebo effect. He doesn’t believe those feelings *do* that. But Sir Pentious got one thing right, Alastor hates who he’s been ever since running from that opportunity. Hasn’t he wondered, a hundred thousand times, how everything would be different if he’d made the other choice? Hasn’t he longed for a second chance?

“You’re right.” Deep breath, heavy sigh. “There’s no good reason not to tr— Oh sh—“ BEEP “—he’s still got a girlfriend.” He flops back on the couch. DAMMIT. “Okay, I draw the line at being a home wrecker or a secret affair! I’m not going to do that!”

Sir Pentious

Look at how smug he looks.

You're right he DOES KNOW HOW RIGHT HE IS. The smugness is STARTLED by the BEEEEEP,

And he rests his entire weight on Al. Fwump.

"THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO *BLOODY* TALK TO HIM!!"

Alastor

FWUMP. He jerks half upright under the sudden assault and then lays back again to rant at the ceiling. “But! What! If! He’s! Not interested! And then he’ll know *I* am! And I’m *right* back with him where I am with you. Except worse, because he and I aren’t as close as you and I are.”

Sir Pentious

More snake on Alastor. He's become a cinnamon bun. Loaf. "HMMM, THAT DOESSSNT SOUND ACCURATE, I DO NOT RECALL EVER *RECIPROCATING A KISS* AFTER GOING TO A GODDAMN GAY BALL!"

Alastor

“Fine, next time I’ll invite you to the gay ball and we’ll see how it goes.” Laugh track. “I kissed him and I’m closer to you than I am to him, and you’re just going to have to deal with that knowledge.”

Sir Pentious 

"ITSSS A DIFFERENT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP !!" He presses his HAND to Al's face.

"I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!!! BUT I AM INTERESTED IN BEING YOUR VERY EXCELLENT PAL."

Alastor

“*I* know that! So don’t *you* say you’re less close than he is.” He’s gonna test his luck. He’s gonna. Lick that hand.

Sir Pentious 

First of all, he's wearing gloves.

Second of all,

HE MAKES SUCH A SOUND!!! PULLS OFF HATTIE. AND SHOVES IT OVER AL'S HEAD.

THOONK.

Alastor

He cackles laughing, and the hat only muffles him for a second before he's got it adjusted to where he can wear it and keep on laughing. Can he see? No. That's optional.

His look is now complete.

Sir Pentious

Hattie looks entertained, and that's all that matters. Sir Pentious leans back and *HUFFS.*

"ANYWAY!! I'M NOT *WORRIED*, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE I THINK IT'SSSSS GOOD FOR YOU... THAT ISS, IF IT ISN'T A HOME WRECKER SSSSITUATION. THAT WOULD BE ALSSSSO ON TELLY."

Alastor

"Fingers crossed," Alastor mutters. "It certainly doesn't feel good for me." But he's got his smile back on now, that's something.

He reached up and taps Hattie's brim. "Hey, you can shapeshift, can't you? Think you can do something to match my costume?"

Sir Pentious

Hattie looks down at Alastor, wiggles its brim, and then transforms into..! a crown. Good. This is what you wanted, right? Sir Pentious blinks, "ARE THE FESSSTIVITIESSSS SSSTILL GOING ON, THEN? OR ARE YOU JUSST PROUD OF YOUR COSSSTUME?"

Alastor

That's definitely not what he wanted, but he'll take it. "No, they're pretty much over. I just didn't change clothes before coming over."

Sir Pentious

SNRK.

Sir Pentious slithers off the couch, going to inspect the GUMBO..... THEN STOPS, turning abruptly.

"DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE THE RAY GUN FAN WITH YOU? I AM CURIOUSSSS OF IT'SSSS CONSSSTRUCTION!"

Alastor

"Oh! Yes! Hold on!" He unzips his ridiculous top—he's wearing his normal shirt underneath it—and fishes out the fan from an inner jacket pocket. "I haven't had a chance to test it out yet! Maybe sometime tomorrow."

Sir Pentious

Excited clapping of his talons... He takes the apparatus carefully, looking it over. It does open like a nice fan, and he's going to be playing with it for a while, finding out the way it fires without having to fire it!

"THISSSS IS VERY WELL MADE. OF COURSSSE IT WAS MADE BY NONE OTHER THAN SSSSIR PENTIOUSSSS. YOU DON'T GET CLASS AND SSSTYLE LIKE THIS ANYMORE!"

Alastor

"Isn't it?" Alastor's expression brightens. "It's quite the clever contraption! Both form *and* function." He leans closer to watch as Sir Pentious figures out how it works.

Sir Pentious

He's not going to FIRE IT in here, but he has figured out how to change it to firing Mode.

PRR prr prr prr PRR PRR! Penny just LOVES things that are secretly weapons. He hands it back to Alastor.

"THISSSS ISSS A PRECIOUSSSS GIFT, ALASSSTOR. BE SURE TO THANK YOUR BEAU *GRACIOUSSSSLY.*" He winks, teasing. Hee hoo.

Alastor

He’s smiling goofily when Sir Pentious changes the mode, delighted just at seeing it work. He loves these things.

But his expression snaps back down to his default minimal smile at the word *beau.* “He’s not m—” Stop. Glare. Oh, Alastor sees what Sir Pentious is doing. “You know what, maybe I will! Something a little like this?” He flings an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders to support himself, snaps open the fan, and fans himself like a dainty Southern belle fighting off a swoon. “‘Oh, *Sir Pentious*, I can’t *begin* to tell you what such a gift *means* to me! Oh, to be able to *hold* and *cherish* one of your own, hand-crafted weapons, at any time I want! My heart *flutters* with the—‘ No, no, I can’t keep this up, it got too weird.”

Sir Pentious

FACE SCWUNCH, but he sees what ALASTOR is doing and he makes an AAAA-HAAA type face,

"WELL, OF COURSE!! YOUR HEART DOESN'T FLUTTER!! NYA HA HA!"

Alastor

He earned The Scwunch, he’s counting this as a victory.

“It’s as dead a piece of meat as you’ll find!” He’s got that melodramatic Southern belle-ish voice back on. “I suppose this fan will have to do the fluttering *for* my heart.” Flutter flutter flutter. Just to solidify his victory.

Sir Pentious

"MAY YOU *ACCIDENTALLY* SHOOT YOUR FOOT OFF, ALASSSTOR!" Shit eating GRIN.

Alastor

“Joke’s on you, it can’t fire while it’s open.” Pause. “I don’t think it can.” He closes it and looks it over. Hm.

Sir Pentious

HEE HEE HEE.

"DID HE NOT PRESENT YOU WITH THE MANUAL? NYA HA HA!"

Gumbo time.... He's flicking his tongue at it.

Alastor

"Well, he showed me how to switch it from fan to gun and back, how much more do I need to know?" He opens it again and tries to see if there's a way to activate the gun mechanism... then decided that's probably a bad idea to do inside and airship, shuts it, and puts it away. "That gumbo's no New York knockoff! That's some genuine Cajun cuisine—and half the ingredients were alive this morning!"

Sir Pentious

A GOOD IDEA, Alastor. Please do NOT shoot the thing while inside of the airship. Sir Pentious would not appreciate that AT ALL! Alastor starting to talk about the food in question has him remembering the trip to New York, and the food he didn't really eat too much. He turns and smirks at the radio deerman.

"HA! WERE THEY. HOW DELIGHTFUL. I KNOW YOUR COOKING, ALASSSTOR, YOU UNDERSSSSTAND MY TASSSTESSS QUITE WELL!" He's going to retrieve a spoon from inside his coat (yep) and dip it in to take a TASTE.

Alastor

Alastor beams at the praise! "It's not entirely *my* cooking—Mardi Gras gumbo is a communal thing, everyone in town contributes a little something to the pot—but I wouldn't have brought you some if I didn't think it would meet your tastes!"

Alastor completely fails to register the fact that Sir Pentious was carrying a spoon inside his coat for some reason. Not weird at all.

Sir Pentious

He's a LITTLE SUSPECT of that comment BUT he will trust his friend here.... And with a mouthful of gumbo (GAOMPH), he DOESN'T unbite! Instead, he pulls the spoon from his lips and smiles *wide*, flicking his tongue.

"MM! THISSS IS VERY TASSSTY!" Listen to those pleased *hums*, even the tip of his tail is wagging.... Time for another mouthful.

Alastor

Alastor beams wider! He's defended his good friend credentials for the day. "Glad I was finally able to get you some *proper* gumbo."

Sir Pentious

He's going to scoop it and offer some to Alastor,.... Then he GRINS REALLY BIG, PURRING.

"YOU SHOULD MAKE THISSSS FOR TELLY, SHOULD THINGSSSS PROGRESSS FAVORABLY."

Alastor

Alastor leans over to take a bite—and then pauses with his mouth open. "Ah." Awkward fidget! "I'm—already cooking for him, actually. And he said he wants to try New Orleanian cuisine, so I'm sure I'll be making gumbo sooner rather than later." He looks away all embarrassed.

Sir Pentious

NO LOOKING AWAY. Pentious SWIVELS the spoon around to bump against Alastor's lips, and should he bite down, Penny will TURN his head FORCEFULLY to GRIN! TO! HIS! FACE!

Alastor

He *does* fall for it and bite. He *does* get turned around to face Sir Pentious's face. ~~You can't do that to him, it's hot.~~

He lets go and leans back. "What?"

Sir Pentious

TONGUE FLICK.

He takes the spoon to dip it back into the gumbo, and starts to LOUDLY hum The Wedding Song.

You know the one.

Alastor

He DOES know the one. He makes a series of undignified flustered static noises. "Don't read too much into it! He needed somebody who actually *knows* how to cook helping him out. His kitchen is staffed by eggs."

Sir Pentious

Look at Penny, he's daaancing, swaying from side to side!

"YESSS, IT WAS DEFINITELY BECAUSE OF THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEART, *NOT* CAUSE YOU *FANCY* HIM, HMMM HMMM~"

Alastor

"Oh, come now, it's hardly like that! I cook for you all the time, don't I?" A pause. "I realized the flaw in that argument as soon as I said it, you don't need to point it out."

Sir Pentious

HE'S SMILING LIKE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT. LOOK AT HIM. *LOOK AT HIM.*

Alastor

Alastor draws himself up with great dignity. "I cook for *everybody.* I'm keeping one of my alternates fed too."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious takes out a nail file from his coat. *He has so much stuff in there, apparently.* And he starts to slide it against his claws, purring, "YESS, OF COURSSSE! BUT, YOU DIDN'T SSSNOG THAT ONE AT A GAY BALL, DID YOU?" HEE HOO. Look how pleased he is. Playful.........His body is rolling up like curly fries.

Alastor

... Why does he keep a nail file with his spoon?

Alastor tips his chin up. "I most certainly did not, nor do I want to! Which is conclusive proof that I do not feed friends because I *fancy* them!" The embarrassment is genuine but the big show of burying it under a layer of self-righteous indignation is just that: a show. All right, okay, he's the entertainment right now, he'll play his part. On some level it's a relief they can discuss this at all without it being a giant wedge jammed between the two of them; the sharp point of the wedge has been shunted off to the side, to point at some third party that isn't present. He'll take the hit to his dignity in exchange for the reduced pressure.

"You look like a spring, all coiled up like that." The corners of his tight, thin-lipped smile twitch, threatening to crack out into a real grin. "If I jumped on you, you'd bounce like a pogo stick."

Sir Pentious

HEE HEE HEE!!! He appreciates that Alastor is going along with it--although Pentious is a bit slow on cues, he just assumes Alastor really IS that flustered! And look at how he wiggles, lowering his body until his hands are flat on the ground. SILLY MODE.

"ARE YOU *GOING* TO JUMP ON ME, SSSSSTICKBUG? YOU WOULDN'T DO ANY *REAL* DAMAGE! YOU WEIGH *NOTHING!*"

Alastor

He really is that flustered. He just knows his entertainer duties come first.

"Well, not if you're down there! Jump on a pogo stick when it isn't upright and you're just going to break it in half." He shakes his head, tutting. Sir Pentious don't you know anything about pogo sticks?

Sir Pentious

No, he can't use them. Therefore, he doesn't KNOW anything about them. But he does know something else-- how to STRIKE FAST. He SLITHERS FORWARD, going to try and swipe twinkle toes' legs out from UNDER HIM.

Alastor

Twinkle Toes twinkles his toes (hooves?) right over the swipe. You can't knock a dancer off his feet! ... and also Alastor saw it coming.

"Oh, is that all you've got?!" Alastor is *tap-dancing* out of range.

Sir Pentious

It was wrassle time. It had been FOREVER since their last wrassle!! Penny wiggles, his body scrunching like an accordion, before he LAUNCHES out, swiping at him once more with those claws of his.

HYAAAA

Alastor

Alastor ONCE MORE dances out of the way!!

Except that he doesn’t. He avoids the full mass of a giant reptilian accordion colliding with him, but a hand gets one leg and knocks him off balance. He crashes to the ground with a sound of cymbals and bicycle horns (???) and a flurry of fluttering costume fringe.

Sir Pentious

WHAT A CACOPHONY! Sir Pentious lets out QUITE the WAAAAAAHAAAAAA HAAAAAAA A at having knocked him over, enjoying seeing that FRINGE FLY.

And then he's gonna sit on him. Victory.

Alastor

Defeated. The mighty Radio Demon brought low. On Mardi Gras of all days.

He contemplates trying to roll them over, considers his odds, and decides he’ll have better chances at being irritating. He starts poking Sir Pentious’s tail. “Do I make a comfortable chair?”

Sir Pentious

Penny's head swivels, and he peers down at Alastor like that one Duck image.

"NOT REALLY, YOU'RE *RATHER* BONEY, AS IT *WERE*."

Alastor

“Well, what kind of a fool sits on a chair that isn’t even comfortable?” He switches from poking to smacking, he’s drumming on Sir Pentious’s hip with his hands. Plappa-plappa-pap

Sir Pentious

........ HE LOOKS SCANDALIZED,

"ARE YOU SLAPPING ME????????" It BARELY counts as slapping, Penny is just DRAMATIC. He looks down at Alastor like a CAT upset by butt smacks.

Alastor

He freezes mid-plap. “I was using you as a percussion instrument.” He gives Sir Pentious a winning smile!

Sir Pentious

HMM...........HE BEGINS TO SLITHER OFF OF ALASTOR.......... *Scales scales scales scales.*

"WELL ALASSSTOR, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO DO? I IMAGINE YOU MUSST BE HEADING OFF TO MORE PARTYING, WITH YOUR GET UP!"

Alastor

HA! His plan WORKED. He sits up and slings an arm around Sir Pentious’s shoulders before he gets too far off the ground. “Just finished, actually! Maybe I’ll find some quiet balcony to watch a night parade, but the courir is *exhausting!* I’m all partied out.” He gives Sir Pentious a sweet look. “I wouldn’t mind spending a comparatively lowkey evening with a treasured friend.” He’s batting his lashes, check it out. What a darling deer.

Sir Pentious

Look at that BATTING of the LASHES.

Sir Pentious SNICKERS, then flutters his fingers, "OH? REALLY? HMM HMM~ ARE YOU *SUUURE* YOU WOULDN'T RATHER SSSPEND IT SSSNOGGING WITH TELLY?" He's so glad he added that last part in, otherwise it would have been AWKWARD!

Alastor

“Listen. Sir Pentious. My pal. My chum.” Alastor squeezes Sir Pentious’s shoulder with his hand, and for a split second, there’s a look of absolute terror in his eyes. “Right now, *there is nothing that I want less.*” Maybe the next time Alastor’s around him, he’ll find himself warmed all over by the welcoming light of romance. But from this distance, that light looks like the lure of an anglerfish.

And then Alastor’s totally normal. “So! Wanna see a parade or stay in?”

Sir Pentious

Oh that was a little bit harrowing. Sir Pentious can almost feel the way the warmth sucks out of the room--but then it's back! And a balmy temperature indeed, for this giant snake man.

He clears his throat, "HMMM... WELL, I'M NOT *DRINKING* MUCH NOW, SSSO SSTAYING IN MAY BE A TAD *BORING*. A PARADE SSSOUNDSSS FUN!"

Alastor

“Oh, I’m sure we can have *plenty* of fun without drinks—but that said, I prefer the parade myself! We’ll get a couple of colorful drinks with next to no alcoholic content, pretend they don’t taste disgusting, and find a high vantage point!” He stands, pulls out what looks like a map, and unfolds it. It’s a big schedule and map of parade times/routes, public balls, and other events. Tourism board doesn’t fuck around with Mardi Gras. “There’s still a couple of big ones that haven’t gone, but we’ll have to hustle! Shall we?”

Sir Pentious

That actually sounds like a LOT of fun. He makes a big smiley face, and offers his arm to Alastor.

"YESSS, WE SHALL!! I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A PARADE IN *DECADESSS.*"

Alastor

"Haven't you?! Why, then you're in for a treat! They're getting bigger and better every year! We'll have to get a *prime* seat for you—but not too high! What's the fun of being too high to catch throws...!"

He hooks his arm in Sir Pentious's, and off they go!

[nairil-daeris]

Holly Hell

continuation to my fanfiction that you can read here https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12280276/1/Holy-Hell

I need to thank to amazing and absolutely incredible the-foxes-fangs for beta

I was also heavily inspired by otohe’s story. As they say, really good art inspires others to do their own.

............................................

Annoying.

“It’s all absolutely annoying“ Neji decided while sitting under his favourite tree in heaven‘s orchard.

The sun was slowly setting on the horizon and birds were chirping their evening songs. The peaceful atmosphere invited him to relax and have a nice session of meditation.

Or not.

Where was his favourite moment of concentration without any necessary thoughts?

In hell apparently.

He had decided to forget his little experience with the she-devil as the unimportant incident it was.

But it was not to be. Tenten seemed to remain on the angel’s mind that evening and the many that followed. It was upsetting, to say the least.

Neji decided that he hated the little demon. She drove him crazy even after so many days. The memory of the challenge in her gaze alone was enough to make his blood boil. With rage of course.

Which was one of the many reasons that the existence of this… dream was more than a little irksome. It implied that there was something beneath that hatred, which just simply couldn’t be true.

The Dream, as Neji called it, came just when he thought he had banished all thought of her.

Even if he wanted to recall the curves of her body, or the fullness of her lips– which he didn’t – he certainly wouldn’t. She was disgusting, filthy demon trash. A mere plebe and a tramp compared to him and his status as an angel.

It didn’t matter how much the thought of dominating her appealed to him in his dream

– how much he’d love to pin her down and force her into submission, make her squeal and moan while he told her of the myriad annoyances, she had given him, for which she must now be punished.

He had become so obsessed about the demon, that he was hallucinating about her right now.

She was standing in the clearing before him, hand on one hip cocking her head at him with a too-glib smile. The fact that he found her attractive was ridiculous.

“I didn’t expect you would be here again.” He said to his imagination.

“And whom did you expect?”

“Not you.”

“I’m hurt.”

Wait. Fantasies weren’t supposed to talk back. They weren’t supposed to talk at all!

It took several seconds before reality dawned on him.

“How dare you! How did you even get here without me noticing!?”

“I got here without you noticing the first time as well.” She said and shrugged.

That was quite a blow to his ego. And it made him furious.

“Go back to the depths of the hell that you came from, you pitiful creature!” Neji roared.

But there was no answer. The she-devil was watching him thoughtfully.

“No.” She said finally, staring him down, “I don’t think I will.”

“And why not?” The words escaped him through gritted teeth. His gaze fell on her slightly exposed cleavage and he tore his eyes away before his thoughts could run away with him.

 “Because you want me to. And I enjoy irritating you, angel.”

He pictured himself kissing her like he did last time. He couldn’t help it. It was … irritating indeed. Thinking of the swell of her bottom lip was one thing. Thinking of how much more swollen he could make it with his teeth and his mouth was another thing altogether.

He was paralyzed by contradictory desires, both to kiss her and throw her out of his sight. So he chose to converse instead and see where it took him.

“So you do.” He replied carefully.

“I’d almost dare say that you feel the same way.”

“No, I can’t say that I enjoy it when you irritate me. I know this must come as a great shock–”

“But you do enjoy irritating me, if our last encounter is anything to go by. But you’re absolutely dreadful at it right now.”

Now, she had gone too far. Neji stood in one fluid motion, rage winning out for now if only to cover up reality. The sight of Tenten’s smug, self-satisfied face had exhausted his patience.

”Why are you here, you vixen?“

“I want what I came for before, the apples.”

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, sneer appropriately fixed on his face before he even bothered to open his mouth. “Yes? Didn’t I teach you a lesson?”

But something felt off. As though he were disappointed that she wasn’t there because of him specifically. For no other reason than to torment him.

Which apparently would be a good prospect now? What on earth was the matter with him?

“Oh? Were you expecting another fucking? Not gonna happen!” The she-devil said in a mocking sing-song voice.

Bratty minx! He was going to show her that fucking was definitely not on his mind when he sent her right down from heaven’s clouds. Literally.

The darkness descended.. Oh, the old trick won’t work twice on me, thought the angel.

“I don’t suppose you enjoy being left in the dark.” He could hear her mocking. 

“That’s a shame...for you.” A part of him couldn’t believe he was wasting his time on her. The other part… he refused to acknowledge.

It was easy to locate her position now when she spoke. One good flaming arrow was enough to interrupt her dirty spell.

“Because I do so enjoy annoying you, as you said yourself” Neji continued.

The two of them stared at each other now, sizing each other up. 

 “Do you? You’re so cruel. Am I that bad to look at? Am I unnerving you?” She answered while making seductive pose. 

Bold, bratty, and annoying. It would have been so delightfully easy to shut her up with a kiss, searing enough to make even that she-devil melt. He knew he could do that now. It would be even easier with his cock between her lips, but that was…  dangerous territory. How…unsettling. He hardly even recognized himself anymore.

A staring contest wasn’t a good idea. 

He caught himself staring at Tenten’s mouth and righted his gaze, doing his best to look as bored as possible. As bored as he truly didn’t feel at all.

 Tenten used his moment of absent-mindedness to bolt behind the trees.

Off he went after her. 

Ugh she is fast, that little shrew, Neji thought. How irritating.

By the time he caught up with her she was already holding an apple in her hand.

“That’s as far as you got the last time” he said with a smirk “you’re not going to get any further now.”

He expected her to put the apple into her bag but to the angel’s surprise she bit into it instead.

Just like that. In front of him. Such audacity! And while wearing such a smug grin, munching on the apple, like she had won first prize in a lottery.

But her smile changed. It crumpled into a grimace as Tenten started coughing.

That’s curious, thought Neji as he stopped through drawing his flaming sword.

The she-devil landed on all fours, coughing and sputtering violently. 

The angel just stood there, unsure how to react. Had his prey suddenly turned into a victim?

That was … troubling. Confusing.

Downright alarming, the more he saw her writhing in pain.

He wanted her writhing, but beneath him with pleasure, not like…this.

Gingerly he came closer, anticipating another of her tricks, only to see that her distress was genuine. This was his second time seeing Tenten with an unguarded expression, but this time he wasn’t enjoying it a bit. 

At last she went still, her consciousness leaving her. Neji checked her pulse, she was alive but passed out. 

As he bent down toward the little devil, he felt powerless in more ways than one. Neji had no idea why the perfect apple from heavens orchard had caused her so much pain. He blamed himself for having let this happen at all. It was his job to protect the garden from creatures like her anyway, but he had let his cravings get in the way.

And now he felt completely thrown off. How vexing. Not that he could fault her, but– still. He’d very much like to fault her. Agony of bliss suited her much better that this. He wanted to help her, he realized.

But how? 

”Angel wantssss to help hissss little friend?”

The Snake. Neji had almost forgotten that he wasn’t the only inhabitant of Heaven’s Garden.

„She is not my friend!“ He said with a glare at the Snake.

„Sssory than, a lover perhapsssss?“ Now if only there was some hole he could crawl into, because the Snake was, in fact, right.

Neji decided to swallow his pride and ask, „Do you know what happened to her?“

„Well of coursssse I do.“ Snake answered a little moodily.

„Than do tell me!“ The angel shouted.

The serpent’s eyes narrowed in pleasure and he stalled for a few more excruciating moments before answering: “She issss a creature of darknesss, she belongsss to Hell.”

“And here I was, hoping you would tell me something I don’t already know” Neji sights.

Not bothered by his interruption, the Snake continued “All of usss supernatural beingsss have delicate balance of power in our bodiesss. But now she hasss heavens essence inside her organsss and itsss slowly but surely killing her. Her balance isss disrupted.”

She is really dying, Neji thought. And he felt … remorse. It would be a pity to never see that smug smile again, he realized.

“Isn’t there any way to help?” He asked, internally cringing at how miserable his voice sounded.

“Well there isss and an easssy one no lesss.” Snake hisses.

Neji waited for him to continue but it looked like that was it. A new emotion rose within his chest and he was surprised at how utterly livid he felt. Now he knew there was hope. He was going to set things right.

“I have no idea why you are even allowed to stay in this holy garden! You, disgusting serpent, tell me how to cure her or I’ll make sure you are thrown out of this place for good!”

“Yesss, I can help, that being sssaid, I will be asssking for sssomething in return, I hope you realize.”

The problem was, that Neji couldn’t just kill the serpent on the spot or torture him no matter how delightful that might be. The Snake was under direct protection of God himself, only God knows why.

“How can you help her and what can you possibly want?” Neji asked apprehensively. 

“You sssee, I can bite her.” 

“What the hell?”

“Yesss, Hell that’sss exactly where I came from, therefore I’m filled with it’sss esssence…. My poissson won’t affect her and it restoresss the balance within her. But my help comesss with a price.”

“Out with it, you slug.”

“Don’t call me namesss, lassst time I checked you needed me to sssolve this little situation with your darling over here. I’d hate to caussse any problemsss in your budding relationssship,” Snake said sounding awfully insincere. 

Hmpf, and what a relationship it is, the angel though while trying to look as scornful as possible.

“Luckily for you I can be sssatisfied with a little.” Neji can almost see him sneer “You’ll be owing me a favour, nothing more. A good bargain if I sssay ssso myself.”

There really wasn’t much Neji could do other than accept. He nodded. 

Delightful,” the Snake hissed, and bit Tenten’s pale arm. “Ssshe needs to ressst now.” He added before slithering away.

The She-devil lay there on the cold ground, as cold as death herself. Neji’s stomach clenched at the sight. It made him angry…at her…not at himself, that he was so utterly invested in her well-being. Neji tried not to look too closely at why in the first place. 

He wanted to tell her how it was all her fault, but it seemed unfair, since she was still unconscious. There would be plenty of time to school her on how not to behave later.

He picked her body up and charged to his garden house, impatience to keep her safe winning out over courtesy.

He was almost certain he’d regret it, but... Apparently her idiocy was catching.

It was a strange feeling, with the devil collapsed in his arms. He felt protective of her even though she was enemy not long ego. She is his enemy still, he chided himself.

Fortunately, she seemed a lot warmer by the time he laid her on his bed to rest. 

 “Not even going to change? Take your shoes off?” he joked, knowing full well she couldn’t hear him in her sleep.

She looked … good like this, on his bed, he decided. 

And since there was nothing to do other than wait, he laid next to her to rest as well. His bed was more than big enough, after all, for the both of them, with plenty of room to spare in between.

It was, however, rather nice to wake up next to her some time later. Next to a demon. How low had he sunk?

He crouched over her to check her temperature, only to be met with a small but definitely hard fist. 

They were both out of bed in seconds.

“Aww and you looked so comfy in my pillows, I thought you liked it there.” Neji said with a smirk. He was just riling her up. But– he had absolutely no interest in looking at why he wanted to rile her up so much in the first place.

“You perverted kinky angel, you wanted to take advantage of me! You took me to this…this”, Tenten looked over his Hellenistic style chambers “….lair of yours!” she snarled at him.

And now he regretted it, he thought as he rubbed his temples.

“Well thank you, would be more appropriate, considering I saved your life and all. I owe a favour to the garden’s Snake, too. But what could I expect from ill-bred low life like you.” Neji fired back.

“I have no idea how I got here, but I’m definitely not going to thank you for all those insults. Although coming from an idiot like you, I guess I don’t need to be offended!”

“Yes,” 

He said slowly, taking a step toward Tenten and utterly delighting in the sight of her immediate retreat. “I daresay I just might be, seeing as I have spent the last several hours completely–” Another step. “– and utterly wasting my time on your well-being, which–” Step. “– would be bad enough already, but then I’m forced to take ingratitude from you, filthy witch, which would have already been more than bad enough–” His last long stride is enough to have her backed into the wall, Neji growling his words through his teeth, eyes flashing furiously. “Only to learn that it was an entirely stupid idea?!” He said, grasping her arm firmly.

She didn’t say anything at first. He wondered at his disappointment about that.

 “You were worried about me.”

He wasn’t sure which was more infuriating– how absolutely certain and sure she was, or the way she let her gaze fall to his lips after saying it.

And how he couldn’t help but allow his own to follow.

“It seems I was wrong,” he says, the words leaving him achingly slowly through clenched teeth. It was almost distracting how good she smelled. Of pepper. It brought unwanted memories. It should have been a warning– he was too close. “Between the two of us, it would seem that I am not the greater idiot after all.”

“You’re worried about me,” Tenten said again. It was just as infuriating to hear as the first time, as it turned out. “And right now…” she licked her lips, drawing his gaze for a split second too long, “… you want to kiss me.”

She looked good like this, he decided for the second time, wide eyed from fear or thrill. He wished it were easier to resent her for that instead of himself.

It was as though she’d seeped into his skin, planted a seed and watched it fester. He pictured her lips kiss-swollen, and tried to decide if it would be worth it to prove her right if it meant getting to push her into the wall and leave her breathless and wanting.

“But that’s not going to happen.” she said with a smirk, using his moment of distraction to free herself from his grasp. 

The she-devil leapt on the top of his of bed’s canopy with a laugh, a bright and happy sound that stirred something in his chest. It was … uncomfortable. Not entirely terrible, though. He’d rather not look too closely at that. 

“Tsk, Tsk, how easily you lose your composure around me, Mr. Angel.” She mocked him again.

“You are utterly insufferable.”

Insults. As if those could possibly restore his dignity to him now.

 “I do try.

Her smug smile was provocative enough to make his stomach churn, an undeniably… unacceptable feeling, he decides.

All right, so maybe he couldn’t refute that. How extraordinarily annoying of her.

Cheeky trollop.

“You brought all of this on yourself trying steal. I should give you a lesson, so you never try to do something that outrageous again.”

Neji frowned. she didn’t look nearly as concerned by that as she should have. If anything, she looked delighted.

How strange.

“Ooooh, noooo I’m so scared of your empty promises!” She said, and actually winked at him.

Ridiculous creature.

“It’s getting boring here. I’ll be leaving then.” The she-devil said, making a mock-bow that gave him a good view of her cleavage.

Neji forced himself not to stare. This simply wouldn’t do.

She flapped her wings, but he caught up with her by the Hellenistic-inspired arches near the marble ceiling.

They exchanged a few blows, but ultimately she was no match for him. She bolted to the stained glass window, but before she could make it there, he threw her against the huge library wall.

“You’re a completely insufferable demon–” Neji growled as he pinned her hands to the wall.

They were still in the air as Tenten tried to kick him with her free legs. He was glad that he was so much bigger than her when he pressed his body to hers to stop her from kicking and writhing out of his grasp.

She stopped kicking. But she was still writhing and his mind helpfully offered him some very suggestive ideas.

How… deeply… unsettling.

She was breathing rather heavily now, tired from her futile struggle.  It wasn’t helping.

Tenten noticed him staring and the fire building between them. The tension was palpable.

The angel tried to turn his eyes from her, his attention solidly unfocused on the books atop the shell mantle before him. His expression turned carefully blank.

He lowered them to the floor and stepped back. 

The demon was obviously beside herself with humiliation over her defeat. At least that’s what he thought until she actually threw a book at him and yelled “One single apple and you make it look like a capital crime!”

The insolent bitch.

He had her backed against a bookshelf with her hands pinned above her head in less than a heartbeat before he said “It’s not about one apple, it’s the principle I’m stressing here. You were stealing, and you don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it! Such a shameful vixen deserves to be punished.”

But his treacherous mind showed him the kind of punishment that involved kissing that defiant expression off her face. He wanted her to beg. To submit to him.

And the she-devil seemed to read his intentions. Tenten’s eyes widened, she opened her pretty mouth and yelled “You fucking perverted angel! You kink-starved deviant! You have some twisted idea of justice, you-“

“I might as well have” Neji interrupted, and when she inhaled to yell at him again, he wondered why he didn’t shut her mouth a lot earlier.

Suddenly he was kissing her. He was crushing her mouth, her loud, warm and quite intoxicating mouth. The pleasure of the feel of her had him seeking more and she was now resisting a lot less he noted smugly. 

She tried to say something but instead, he cut her off with another searing kiss, her lips parting willingly against his. The feeling of her becoming pliant against him like this was nothing short of ecstasy, bringing him deep gratification.

He took her lower lip in his teeth and slowly, slowly moved it between them. When he freed her, she whined for more, licking at the air until he found her mouth again.

He moved to the crook of her neck, biting and nipping, sucking on the skin. The action drew several moans and gasps from her before he was even somewhat satisfied. Neji wanted more. She offered him moans of pleasure and soft hisses of pain whenever he sucked too hard. He didn’t want there to be a single spot of her body left unmarked by him, but he’d settle for the few marks he has littered her with now, ones that no scarf could ever possibly cover up. He allowed his free hand to run up her body, to cup her breast and tease her nipple through the dark swimsuit– the same clothing that she wore the last time they were doing this.

“Neji–” He wasn’t sure he could ever tire of that sound– his name, half-whimper, half-submission. “Are you going to kiss me again?” “I was going to. I’d hoped to leave your lips just as bruised as your skin–” Pinning both her wrists with one hand was effortless work, the angel delighted in drawing back and allowing his fingertips to ghost over the bruise-riddled path dotting her skin. “But then you became impatient and greedy.” “What do I have to do, then?” She said, with a flirtatious tilt of her head. “Beg me.” But still, she did little more than give him a level stare.. “I believe I told you to beg.” “And if I don’t want to?” “Then you won’t be rewarded.” He caught the way the corner of her mouth quirked up. “No reward? That hardly sounds like the proper punishment for someone so impudent like me, angel.” “You should learn that I am not so gentle when provoked, she-devil.” He said, returning her level stare. “Try me,” Tenten said testing his patience. “I hope you realize that only good, obedient demons get punished in such a way as would delight them. If I’m to punish you, I can guarantee that it won’t be enjoyable for you.” “Are you trying to scare me?” “If you are the type to be scared by that, then yes.” “I’m not.” “Good.” Admittedly, he was hoping she wouldn’t be. “I will not repeat myself, Tenten.” Silence descended, heavy and pregnant between them. “… please,” she finally says, visibly swallowing. A veritable treat for his eyes.

“Please what?” “Please kiss me– punish me– I don’t really care anymore, honestly, I just want it–” 

If there was more coming, he didn’t allow her to finish her thought, not when her words lit a desire in his gut that was impossible to shake.

He was ravishing her gain after what felt like months– years– of waiting. It hadn’t been even remotely that long– even claiming weeks would be genuinely pushing it, but his desire for her had been considerable. Neji wanted to tell that brazen minx, that the fact that she was still wearing clothes was an injustice, but that would require ceasing his kissing of her, and he wasn’t sure he was physically capable of it now, not as utterly drunk as he was on the pepper taste of her. So he let his hand do the work for him, ridding her of her clothes as agonizingly slowly as possible. He didn’t stop until she was left nude. He looked her up and down. She was utterly lovely like this, with a flush colouring her cheeks. Trailing a path up to her hip, Neji allowed the tips of his fingers to explore her body, pausing only with the discovery of her folds. Parting her with few fingers, he drew his thumb up to her clit and waited  for another inhale, another gasp or another moan– anything to sustain him a little longer, to hold off and spur on his desire all at once. It came  alongside the buckling of her knees, the sweetest moan leaving her parted lips before he could capture them again, sliding his knee between her legs to both hold her up and offer friction.

The demon took his offering as the gift that it was, and let herself rut against his thigh, eager hips seeking out his thumb over and over. He had done this before, of course, but it hadn’t felt quite like this, as though the stakes were so high. He wondered why, and slid two fingers inside of her only to find her wet and wanting.

Smiling at the sensation, Neji leaned closer to her ear. “You lustful thing,” he teased in a whisper, knowing he was at least as wanton for her. She was close now– he could tell. It would be hard to miss. Her kisses had become less messy, finally stopping altogether, movements directed– if not by him– then by instinct alone, as she arched her body, yearning for her peak– He pulled his hand away just as his teeth found her earlobe, a loud whine escaping her at the lack of satisfaction. “That, my witch,” he whispered, lips ghosting along the shell of her ear, “is punishment.” Not a spanking. Not the myriad ways he could tie her to his bed. Nothing that could have her moaning deliciously for him.

He studied his slick hand, her juices dripping over it.

“I didn’t realize you wanted it that bad“ “Beg,” he ordered, and was met with another whimpered whine. “Please–Neji, please–” “Please what?” “P-please let me come–” “That’s better,” he purred into her ear, the reward he offered almost instantaneous. He had her back on the brink in moments, the feeling of her clenching around his fingers enough to make even him shudder at the prospect. He removed his knee from between her legs only once he was convinced that she could stand on her own again. It wasn’t surprising– the way she quivered in his grasp had him genuinely concerned for a bit. Finally satisfied that she could stand, he released her wrists. She staggered for a moment, but remained upright. Good enough.

“You seem to be holding up, but we’re only getting started. I haven’t even fucked you yet. 

Now. On the bed – don’t make me wait.” he commanded.

He could see how her gaze cleared and watched her eyes get their defiant glint again.

“You-“ she started to protest, but was cut off when he unceremoniously dropped her onto the bed on her knees.

She squealed, taken by surprise, and before she could recover, he landed a smack on her ass before his fingers sought out her cunt to slide inside once more. 

It was enough stimulation that her body gave way to another moan. He pumped his fingers and curled them inside of her almost lazily as her fingers dug into the sheets beneath her. She felt nailed down to the bed, unable to move, only concentrating on the pleasure he was giving her.

He withdrew and grabbed her opposite leg, effectively flipping her onto her back in the process. Neji renewed his assault on her pussy, pumping his fingers rhythmically. “Look at you,” he drawls, feeling very smug. “You’re a mess.” She just mewled and gasped for air.

“You can’t even speak. Heh…” 

He gripped her jaw and moved her face until their eyes were locked.

“You’re shaking,” he said, fingers pressing into her clit now and moving just enough to draw a whine from her, “Mm, cute. What a face…now you’re getting me excited.”

The angel leaned in for another kiss, hard and hot and just as intense as all the rest had been. She wrapped her legs around his waist without even so much as a comment, grasping hold of his cock between their bodies before he caught hold of her wrist and pulled it back with a chiding look. “Eager, are we?” “I want to feel you; I can’t help it.” she managed. “Demanding…You sound so good when you beg for me.” He muttered, glancing down at her. He pulled back seemingly just to undo his robe and rid himself of his undergarments, but it was for far more than that: It allowed him an excuse to look at her, to drink in the sight of the stunning body he was about to ravish, properly.

Then again, she seemed to be doing the same thing, judging by the way she was staring at his cock and licking her lips. Not that he didn’t want to know what it felt like to have her mouth wrapped around him, but– Right now, he had greater priorities. “Do you want it?” he asked, his tone suddenly serious. He still thought of himself as a gentleman somehow. “Yes.” His hands found her wrists once more, and left him marvelling for a moment. “You must be a considerable idiot to want to sleep with the enemy.” “That makes two of us.” He didn’t keep her waiting anymore after that, instead recapturing her lips. His tongue teased  at the seam of them until she granted him entry, and he offered a reluctant freedom to one of her wrists to position himself at her entrance. She ran her newly-freed hand through his silky hair to pull him down into another kiss. He thrust into her– not all at once, but slowly at first, until she moaned and tightened her grip on his hair, the heels of her feet pressing into his ass to urge him on and deeper, and he knew  he didn’t need to hold back.

Still, there was no harm in making her wait for the rest of him. Especially not when she was being so delightfully needy.

„That’s right, ah, do you want to take me even deeper?” “Please?” “You’ll have to be more convincing than that, Tenten.” “Of course I want it, you idiot. Will you please just–” Her words dissolved into a moan as he cut her off with a thrust into her tight, wet heat. “I’m not going to be gentle” he warned her again, and started to thrust, hard, holding her legs open with his free hand perched just beneath the inside of her knee. She looked delicious like this, a wanton, mewling mess of a thing, wet and barely intelligible at all. Then again, even he was struggling to keep his cool entirely. He knew he was flushed, knew that she has him riled up to a point that no others are ever privy to seeing, and, what was more, he had no regrets. How… incredible. “Ne– ji-”

Every syllable of his name that came from her luscious lips was met with a thrust of his hips, pressing her harder and harder.

‘What a pretty sound ….let’s hear more of that, shall we? You sound just right when you scream my name.” He released her other wrist, the angel guiding it to hold her knee up and keep her obediently open for him while the other was tangled desperately in the sheets beneath her. It was all in the name of a good cause, of course. He needed his free hand to touch her again, to bring her to another climax. As if he could ever be satisfied with only one orgasm from her. “Will you come for me again, demon? Or must I wait forever for the feeling of your release around my cock?” “I’ll–” She gasped, whimpered, panted. It was a breathtaking sight to behold. Tenten arched deliciously, Neji not once letting up his thrusts or his thumb’s attention on her clit. Her expression was a feast for the eyes that he wasn’t about to take for granted, not when he knew it would dissolve right before his eyes, and quickly, the very moment that she finally lost her control. She quivered. The tremors started in her feet, muscles tightening, before moving up her body in a crawl. All of her slowly drew taut. He whispered to go ahead and come just seconds before he knew she was about to, and she followed his command, perfectly obedient, clenching and throbbing around his cock as she cried out, loudly. He didn’t dare cut off her cries, but the desire to kiss her again, to reclaim her even whilst buried inside of her completely, was too strong to ignore. So he returned to the darkest welt he had left on her skin, right at the crook of her neck, hoping to make it even darker as his thrusts sped up into a barely-controlled frenzy. Her skin swallowed his own groans of release when he came, throbbing inside of her for what felt like an eternity. All bliss, all contentment. A strange feeling. She let out a fluttery sigh by the time his cock finally stilled its frenzy, and he decided that he liked the sound, annoyingly. She was playing with his hair, which would have been utterly unacceptable in anyone else’s hands, but… he’d tolerate it with her. It might even be somewhat nice. “If you do something to my hair, there will be consequences,” he told  her, and she had the audacity to laugh. He supposed he should be used to it by now.

 “Don’t get too cocky, only because it feels so good to fuck with me.” She replied dreamily.

It was … strangely comfortable, this rapport between them. Natural, even. The angel thought to his astonishment. 

There was a calm in his chest that he hadn’t felt in years, a sort of effortless weightlessness. Neji felt … content. And sleepy.

Tenten watched him thoughtfully while he dozed off in the sheets.

She had to admit, she kind of liked him. He was a good fuck, she knew that already, but he was also….something she couldn’t put her finger on. For now.

“The Snake made me eat the heaven’s apple because I owed him a favour.” She thought.  

“It was the serpent’s plan from the start wasn’t it? It’s easy to have indebted hell’s creatures, but hard to get an angel within one’s grasp. What is he going to make him do?”  

For some reason it irked her a lot. Since when did she have a conscience?

[akaiitokoibito]

Jealous Ouran headcannons? Like how they would react or be dominant with there s/o?

Omg yesss I’m blushing already ohoho~ let’s do this! There wasn’t any specified scenarios, so I’m going to take a few liberties and vary the situation so it’s more interesting!

(edit after finishing: I regret everything and nothing. This has been my writer’s block for the past week or two. -Mod Camellia)

Tamaki

“My, it’s such a sunny day! It’d be even better if you let go of her. Do you understand?”

“T-Tamaki?” you stuttered, eyes rounded as you realized how pissed your partner was. To the average eye, Tamaki probably looked more than jovial; his hair was shining, his smile was bright, and his posture was relaxed. But you knew him better than that; when he grew truly angry, he didn’t sulk or give the cold shoulder.

He smiled brightly; that expression of imminent doom could make any of the Host Club members shiver (sans Kyoya).

“One moment, [S/O],” he said, his eyes softening before turning to the quaking boy holding your arm. “Well?”

The boy let go of your arm, almost tripping in his haste to get away.

You two watched the boy’s escape in silence. Finally, you licked your lips and turned to the blonde, laughing nervously. “You didn’t have to go that far, Tamaki.”

He hummed nonchalantly, slipping his arm around your shoulder and drawing you into a hug. A smile curved on your lips as you leaned into his embrace, content to let the faint smell of roses and coffee engulf you. “I just wanted to make sure he got the point.”

You drew back to gaze into his amethyst eyes. Gone were the shy glint and innocent twinkle; instead of sunshine, his gaze felt like fire. “What point?”

His lips curved upwards into a smirk. “Well,” he drawled, his hand reaching out and cupping your cheek. Your breath hitched involuntarily; were those butterflies in your stomach? 

Despite the fact that you had read such a scene in so many shoujo manga before, you couldn’t help but blush, heart thudding loudly in your chest.

“I think he misunderstood something,” Tamaki said softly. His proud, passionate gaze pinned yours. “You’re my girl.”

Kyoya

“Oh, please. Do try and touch her again. I’d love for an excuse to expel you.”

To your relief, the creep backed away from you to glare at a seemingly calm Kyoya Ootori. “What was that?”

“Five seconds.”

“Kyoya, it’s fine,” you tried, honestly fearing for the boy’s life. Even if he had been groping you, you didn’t want your partner to kill him. You had never seen Kyoya so angry in the entire span of your relationship.

Unlike the other Host Club members, Kyoya didn’t burn with fury when angry. He was cool, bitter ice: calculative, methodical, and ruthless.

“What?”

“You have five seconds to remove yourself from this area before I force you to. Do not come to any of the Host Club’s balls again. Do not attempt to approach us during school. And if I learn you were anywhere near the vicinity of [S/O], I will end you,” Kyoya intoned, his chilly gaze freezing any protests the pervert might have had. “I’m not afraid to use my influence to ruin your life.”

 “…fucking bastard,” the boy cursed weakly, stalking off towards the exit.

“[S/O], are you alright?”

“I…” The words seemed lodged in your throat. “I’m alright.”

Kyoya could read your unease effortlessly. Instead of pointing it out, though, he guided you back into the ballroom. The noise and myriad of vivid colors, although somewhat distracting, was comforting. 

“Kyoya, really…I’m fine. I’ll be fine. He didn’t even hurt me, see?” You laughed unconvincingly, gesturing to your disheveled but still intact dress.

Kyoya pursed his lips, the most displeasure that he would allow to show in public. “Let’s dance, [S/O].”

“Dance?” you echoed. Kyoya…didn’t dance, at least not of his own free will. Affection for your partner surged in your chest as you took his proffered hand. 

You two fell into the motions of the dance easily, seamlessly spinning and stepping in tandem. You fell silent, watching your partner’s eyes closely as the music continued. “Kyoya?” you called gently, your voice calling him back from whatever haze he had been in.

His grip on your waist tightened ever so slightly. “[S/O].”

“Mm?” you hummed, twirling around.

“That won’t happen again.”

His bold declaration (his promise) sent your heart fluttering. “Kyoya?”

He tilted his head, his eyes questioning.

A smile curved on your lips. “Thank you.”

Hikaru

“Say, Kaoru. Would it be illegal if I punched that guy in the face right now?”

“Hikaru,” Kaoru responded, a tone of warning in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hikaru waved off his twin’s concerns, grumbling, “He’s her friend, I get it. I’m not going to deny her that happiness.” His auburn eyes narrowed, a scowl tugging at his lips as he drilled holes into the boy’s figure with his darkening gaze. “But does he have to stand so goddamn close to her?”

“If you’re that bothered about it, why don’t you go over there?” Kaoru suggested.

“Not gonna,” Hikaru mumbled, his voice almost petulant. “They’re talking about Arina Tanemura again.”

Kaoru gaped, then snickered loudly. “Is that why you’ve been reading shoujo manga all week? To impress her?”

“Shut up.”

“You’re blushing!” Kaoru pointed out gleefully.

“That’s beside the point, Kaoru. That guy– ah, hey [S/O],” Hikaru greeted, his voice slightly strangled. You tilted your head in question.

Kaoru beamed at you and Hikaru. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

“You’re awfully quiet today,” you commented, sitting down beside him. “Is something the matter, Hikaru? Even Yamada-kun thought that something was off about you, and he’s only known you for a week.”

“Ah, yeah. I’m…good.” Hikaru averted his gaze. “Yeah. Good.”

Unimpressed by your partner’s truly stellar vocabulary, you raised an eyebrow at him. “Mmhm. Really,”  you commented dryly. You sighed, your eyes clearly reflecting your concern. “What happened, Hikaru?”

“…I have better grades than Yamada.”

“…I know…?”

“I’m more handsome, too.”

“I’d say that’s a matter of opinion.” You laughed, but paused when your partner didn’t laugh with you. “Hikaru, really, there’s nothing going on bet–”

His golden eyes, deceptively calm, met yours, and for a moment you forgot how to breathe. Although you two had been together for several months, you could never stop the butterflies that fluttered in your stomach whenever he looked at you. Hikaru’s eyes had always been captivating: fiery, determined, and fiercely passionate. 

“[S/O],” he breathed your name, his voice a low, throaty timbre. “I just…”

Your heart practically leapt in your throat when he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around you; the faint scent of cinnamon and sandalwood did not help alleviate the wild thumping of your heart. “H-Hikaru?” you breathed, your voice suddenly higher pitched.

For a moment, your partner didn’t reply, his eyes closed peacefully as his chin rested on your shoulder. Then, he opened his eyes, giving you a lazy grin. “I love you,” Hikaru enunciated clearly, fully content with continuing your impromptu embrace. His golden eyes were filled with warmth, love, and passion that threatened to swallow you whole. “I love you a lot, you know that?”

“I…” your breath caught as you flushed bright red. “I know. I love you too, Hikaru.”

Kaoru

“Heh, I know it’s stupid. But…I…really don’t want you to look at anybody else.”

“Is this about earlier, Kaoru?” you asked quietly, taking a seat beside him. “Sawada-kun was just helping me with a math problem.”

“I can help you with math,” Kaoru insisted.

You giggled, nudging his shoulder playfully. You knew your boyfriend too well. “You’re terrible at math.”

“Then I’ll get better,” Kaoru vowed, his hand reaching out and intertwining with yours. Similar to his nature, his hand was warm; its very presence soothed you. He sighed, leaning against your shoulder and flashing you a tiny grin. “For you.”

“How suave of you,” you teased, running your free hand through his ginger locks.

He hummed under his breath. The conversation faded into a comfortable silence, both of you content to bask in each other’s presence. The evening was surprisingly cool, despite the heat wave earlier in the week. Sunlight filtered through the canopy of cherry blossoms, gently illuminating Kaoru’s small, lopsided smile.

“I mean it, you know. I’ll have Hikaru tutor me until I score better than him in math, then I can study with you,” Kaoru offered, his gaze genuine and lips upturned.

Another bright smile bloomed on your face. Although you didn’t really need that much help with math, you couldn’t help yourself from ribbing, “Or, you know, I could just ask Hikaru to help me.”

Kaoru’s gaze sharpened. “No.”

“No?” you parroted.

A smirk curled up on his lips; suddenly, you could understand why your sweet boyfriend was dubbed the “little devil” type. Mischief and thinly concealed amusement danced in his golden eyes that were so intensely focused on you.

“Kaoru?”

“I’m gonna be the one to help you, [S/O],” he breathed, leaning in close enough that his warm breath fanned across your neck. Suddenly, you were very aware of how close you two were; his hands were still intertwined with yours, his body pressed against yours ever so gently. “Okay?”

“I…” Your throat suddenly felt dry. “Mmhm. I’ll be waiting.”

Honey

“Hey, you. I’ll give you some cake later, so will you please leave?”

Your breath hitched as you turned to face your partner. “Mitsukuni,” you gasped, relief flooding you as the petite boy beamed at the guy harassing you. His golden eyes glanced briefly at you, softening the tiniest fraction as he nodded his head reassuringly at you before turning back to the idiot clinging onto your arm.

“Huh? Why the hell should I?”

That was the wrong thing to say. You watched your partner’s smile grow even wider with dawning horror, the kind that usually was reserved for watching a tragic accident or the like. Mitsukuni Haninozuka might have been small, but he was a force to be reckoned with.

“Hah?” the blonde titled his head, sugary smile never leaving his face. “Because I won’t hesitate to use force if you don’t leave [S/O]-chan alone.”

“Go play somewhere else, brat--” the insult had barely left his lips before your partner lunged forward, snatched him away from you, flipped the harasser over, and slammed him into the ground.

“Sorry,” the ever sweet Honey-senpai apologized insincerely, his golden eyes as cool as his voice was. “But I really don’t like you touching my girlfriend like that.”

Mori

“Ah, sorry…my hand slipped.”

You startled, glancing to your right, where the familiar voice originated from. To your surmounting surprise, you saw your boyfriend standing in front of the table of boys who had been wolf-whistling at you for the entirety of your stay. The boys were frozen, completely drenched in ice-cold water.

In contrast, Takashi maintained his straight face as he placed his empty pitcher back on his tray. “We’ll reimburse you with ice cream,” he intoned, his deep voice silencing any indignant squawks the boys might have let out. “It’s a hot day. Why don’t you warm yourselves outside?”

“T-that was on purpose!” one of the boys screeched.

“Y-yeah,” his companion agreed.

Takashi remained calm, his gaze never wavering. “You should go outside,” he suggested again, gently helping one of the boys to his feet. “We’ll bring out some desserts for you.”

You watched the scene, your mouth slightly agape and eyes rounded. The boys were quickly escorted out of the small beach restaurant; only after they had left did Takashi approach your table. “[S/O].”

Although he only uttered your name, you could understand the multitude of emotions he was expressing. “I’m fine,” you reassured him. “Thank you, Takashi. You really -- eh?”

Your boyfriend had unceremoniously draped his jacket over your shoulders, expression placid. “Be more mindful,” he said simply. (Of your beauty, he meant.)

A small, gentle smile curved across your lips. “Don’t act too recklessly,” you said in return, tightening your grip on the jacket. (I love you, you meant.)

Sorry, got kinda tired towards the end and rushed >w

- Mod Camellia

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 11 - 12

Luckily we’re not in the boring Elide/Lorcan subplot in this chapter, but back to Manon!

Everything had gone to shit. Everything.

Kinda like this series, huh?

In the end, she’d barely participated in Rifthold’s destruction, leaving it to the others. But she’d again donned her crowned helm, then ordered Abraxos to sail to the highest spire of the stone castle and roar his victory—and command. Even at the distant white walls of the city, ripping apart the guards and fleeing folk, the wyverns had paused at his order to stand down. Not one coven disobeyed.

Yesss I freakin’ love Manon so much. Can this book just be about her and Abraxos conquering evil kingdoms for their own?

Iskra had landed on the only space left: a lower bit of roofing below Manon. The positioning had been intentional. Iskra’s brown hair had come untangled from her tight braid, and her haughty face was splattered with human blood as she’d snarled at Manon, “This was my victory.”

I really like how Manon plans it all out, even down to the positioning so she’s looming over the other witches, reminding them of who is in charge. I propose a Manon fanclub, she deserves one.

Iskra trembled with rage. Not from the words. The wind had shifted, blowing toward Iskra. Blowing Manon’s scent at her. “Who?” Iskra seethed. “Who of mine did you butcher?”

Manon lies and said that the first witch had attacked Manon while she had been supposedly hunting Dorian, and also says that the other witches were killed by Rowan. Isarka all but announces that Manon is a liar and that she killed those witches, and now Manon has to deal with the consequences and face her grandmother.

Manon said to her Second and Third, “This will be messy.” Sorrel said quietly, “We’ll deal with it.” Manon clenched the helmet a bit harder. “If it goes poorly, you are to take the Thirteen and leave.”

Again, another character who is a much better leader than Aelin, looking out for her group’s safety. And Manon is a blood thirsty murdering witch.

So Manon goes in and all the witches have gathered.

“The Crone’s Sickle hangs above us,” Cresseida intoned. “Let it be the Mother’s blade of justice.” This was not a meeting. This was a trial. Iskra began smiling.

Oh my god, characters facing consequences for their decisions?? It isn’t just swept under the rug or dismissed?? In MY SJM novel??

“And, as the sentinel was a part of the Yellowlegs’ heir’s own coven, it is also a crime against Iskra.” Her grandmother’s face was tight with rage—not for what Manon had done, but for getting caught. “Through either your own neglect or ill-planning, the lives of four other coven members were ended. Their blood, too, stains your hands.” Her grandmother’s iron teeth shone in the candlelight. “Do you deny these charges?” Manon kept her back straight, looked each of them in the eye. “I do not deny that I killed Iskra’s sentinel when she tried to claim my rightful prize. I do not deny that the other four were slaughtered by the Fae Prince. But I do deny any wrongdoing on my part.”

I like how it balances each character’s viewpoint. To the witches, Manon has murdered five of her own kind, but to the reader, Manon did it to save a main character and hero, so you’re sympathetic towards Manon but the witches disowning her doesn’t seem like a contrivance.

Petrah, who Manon saved in one of the previous two books, asks Manon if she considers her an enemy or ally, and Manon says she sees her as a rival. Then Petrah asks Manon why she rescued her then while another wyvern killed hers.

Manon lifted her chin. “Because Keelie fought for you as she died. I would not allow her death to be wasted. I could offer a fellow warrior nothing less.” At the sound of her dead wyvern’s name, pain flickered across Petrah’s face. “You remember her name?”

Awww.... this is so heartwarming. It shows Manon isn’t entirely heartless and has a kind side, and it’s really good pay off for Manon’s earlier actions helping her now. Manon really is the best part of these books.

Because of Petrah speaking for Manon, her grandmother decides it’s not worth losing Manon just to fulfill the blood that has been lost.

“The blood shed must be equal,” her grandmother intoned. Her attention flicked over Manon’s shoulder. “So you, Granddaughter, will not die for this. But one of your Thirteen will.”

Oof, that’s super cold. Her grandmother addressing her so personally adds to the impact of the blow. Seriously SJM, you struck gold with the witches, why couldn’t the books be about them?

At this point Manon’s grandmother announces that Asterin will die the next day to pay the blood debt, and the chapter ends. I turned the page after that desperate for more, only to see that Chapter 12 is Aelin’s POV. Isn’t that just...great.

Without Evangeline slowing them down, Aelin, Aedion, and Lysandra traveled with little rest as they hauled ass for the coast.

“hauled ass” are you fucking kidding me... this is a fantasy novel and you’re gonna describe the characters as hauling ass....

Aelin tried not to dwell on it too much—on the threadbare estates, the abandoned farms, the gaunt-faced people whenever they ventured into town, cloaked and disguised, for desperately needed supplies. Though she had faced darkness and emerged full of light, a voice whispered in her head, You did this, you did this, you did this. That voice often sounded like Weylan Darrow’s icy tones.

Yeah, because it’s totally Darrow’s fault that you’re a spoiled snot who did nothing to help your kingdom for years.

The town of Ilium was as ancient as Terrasen itself, and would likely have already been forgotten by traders and history were it not for the crumbling temple at the northeastern edge of the city, drawing enough pilgrims to keep it thriving.

So they arrive at Ilium and Aelin wastes no time missing her fae prince’s dick. I understand she’s worried and all for his safety, but I know as soon as he’s back they’re gonna fuck like animals because they can’t stand to leave each other for two seconds and I’m not looking forward to it.

Some soldiers of Lord of Meah,one of the Lords in Adarlan, are camped in the port. Apparently after Dorian left after the witches attacked, all the Lords are starting to try to take over bits and pieces of land. Naturally this should upset Aelin, since Dorian is her friend and here are the people supposedly on his side claiming territory for themselves, right?

Aedion kept quiet as they rounded a corner, aiming for the small seaside inn Lysandra had also scouted that morning. On the other side of the city from the temple. The temple the soldiers had the nerve to use as their barracks. “Is this about sending a message to Adarlan, or to Darrow?” Aedion asked at last.

FUCKING FUCK OFF WITH THIS DARROW HATE I S2G!!!! Aedion has his nose buried so far up Aelin’s ass he can’t take even one tiny piece of criticism directed towards her!!! Darrow was right to not trust you assholes hoooooly shit

“It is about freeing my people, who have dealt with these Adarlanian pieces of shit for too long,” Aelin snapped, reining her mare in to a halt before the inn courtyard. Lysandra’s talons dug into her shoulder in silent agreement.

At least Aelin doesn’t agree. And whoa, Lysandra, are you trying to tear Aelin’s shoulder apart? Unless Aelin is wearing something over her shoulder to protect herself, those talons have gotta hurt!

Aedion mentions the Mycenians, and maybe it is just my short attention span, but who are they...? Man, SJM just keeps adding new people and groups and I honestly cannot remember who any of them are.

“And [the Mycenians] disbanded and vanished soon after that, never to be seen again,” Aedion countered. “What’s your point? You think liberating Ilium will summon them again? They’re long gone, Aelin, their sea dragons with them.”

OH SHIT SEA DRAGONS??? Sign me up. Gimmie bad ass warriors on ships commanding their sea dragon companions. Hell yeah.

[Aedion] double-checked that Rowan’s knife was securely buckled at his side before he said to Aelin and Lysandra, still by the window, “I know you two are of the opinion that we males are here to provide you with a pretty view and meals, but I am a general of Terrasen.

Aedion, I used to like you, but now SJM has ruined you.

“That temple is my birthright,” Aelin said. “I cannot allow that insult to go unchecked.” She rolled her shoulders. Revealing her plans, explaining herself … It would take some getting used to. But she’d promised she’d try to be more … open about her plotting. And for this matter, at least, she could be.

Yeah, we’ll see how long she sticks to that. Also, love how she’s implying she’s only mad they took the temple because it is hers. As in, if they stole one of Dorian’s temples she wouldn’t care.

So Aedion mentions this kingsflame flower that used to bloom in the kingdom. Darrow is in possession of the last one. I have the feeling this is leading up to a scene where the kingsflame flower will bloom when Aelin takes back her crown. I love symbolic shit like that, but I know SJM is gonna make it allll about what a great ruler Aelin is and we’ll have 300 pages of everyone gushing about her.

Aelin and the rest leave to eat, and the chapter ends.

[5hfanfiction]

our broken white rose ⇾ camren

a/n: hi guys…!!! i suck, I fuckin know. i haven’t updated since august and truly honestly, i have no excuse other than life happened and shit hit the fan. i kinda wanna explain so y'all know even tho most of you probably don’t give a fuck honestly. ok sooo for starters as some of you may know or knew but forgot, i have a fiancée and we were trying to get pregnant and have a kid awhile ago and she did successfully get pregnant and well… things have been hectic. looks like we’re expecting double the trouble. twin girls lol. um, idk it took me awhile to wrap my head around it. i kinda envisioned parenthood at one at a time even tho the possibility of multiple is there, i never thought it’d go down in my life. but i guess this is god’s plan for me and i’m gonna love those two girls with all my heart.

college has truly been kicking my ass, on top of my moody, grumpy and randomly sad as fuck fiancée, but i’m getting by. currently on winter break so i decided i’d finally sit down and update. my fiancée went out to south jersey to visit her parents and i’m here in north jersey with the house finally to myself. maybe i can make a mess without getting yelled at by her now fhdjdjdkd lol. anyways, that’s basically the gist of what’s been going on. college wants me dead, my fiancée is carry two fetuses inside her and her due date is approaching dangerously fast. lmao. don’t you live life? smh.

anyways, the last thing i wanna share with y'all before i start the story is, I HAVE A NEW BOOK THAT IM ACTUALLY GONNA BE COMMITTED TO COMING OUT RIGHT ATTER I PUBLISH THIS CHAPTER! its called ‘one night stand’ and yesss, it has smut. so please go check it out after this. i have some really cool ideas for it but i need feedback on whether i should waste my time continuing or not. for my tumblr readers, its most likely up on my wattpad as you read this so go follow it @ wthbello and add the book to your library. please comment and vote. with that being said, i hope you enjoy the story. make sure to read end of the chapter questions and answer them. thanks so much, enjoy my usual angst filed, depressing ass stories!

***

“She what?” Both Camila and Lauren shouted in unison as they slowly but frantically followed after Lucy.

Lucy walked at a jagged pace desperately attempting to reach her rental as she explained. “She was granted parol and was released today. Janelle asked me to come see her today, you know, figure out a way to get her out. She was going on and on about how Lola had a plan to go and get your kids. Dustin, Lana and Luna. So I tracked you down to warn you,” she explained in a rushed tone as they finally reached her rented Mazda.

Camila eyes Lucy in suspicious, still anxious being around her after everything. “How did you even get out?” She asked before her eyes enlarged as realization struck. She looked at Lauren in panic. “T-The kids. They’re with Normani, she just took Dustin not too long ago,” Camila had completely forgotten all about Ariana. I’ll text her later, she thought distractedly as her two daughters and infant son came to mind.

Lucy stopped at the vehicle taking a deep breath. She looked them dead in the eye as she pulled the drivers side handle open. “I’ve been out for two months Camila,” the last thing on her mind was explaining her reasoning. She didn’t want to talk about. She didn’t feel she needed to talk about it. She just wanted to forget. Lucy climbed in the all black car, leaving her door open as she peered up at the two mother’s before her. “As for Normani, Tori’s got it,” Lucy smirked. “Now get the fuck in the car.”

Lauren spoke up for the first time in awhile, “What the hell is going on Lucia?” Her hands shook as she gazed down at the woman. So much built up anger and hatred yet confusion and hurt bubbled within her as she stared the woman down.

Lucy’s smirk soon fell as regret and sorrow filled her eyes. “I was terrible… to both of you. I fucked up so much in the last and this is my chance to fix it. Please. Trust me.”

Maybe a couple years ago, Lauren would jump at the thought of trusting Lucy. How couldn’t she? She’d never lie to her, correct? Wrong. For years, she was lied to and fooled to believe the love of her life, the mother of her children, was gone. And Lucy was an accomplice. She didn’t think she could ever trust the woman again. But something about the look in Lucy’s eyes seemed to draw her in. She wasn’t sure how she was feeling, but right now she knew her safety, Camila’s safety and hers were in severe danger with that crazy bat out.

Camila and Lauren both looked at each other before sharing a small, risky mutual agreement. Lauren rounded the vehicle and got in the passenger seat as Camila went into the back, sitting in the middle so she could peer at the two women in front of her.

“Where to?” Camila asked.

Lucy turned to look at the woman in the backseat, a small smirk playing on her lips. “Yakutat Alaska.”

***

“It feels so gross being back her,” Camila mumbled, hugging her arms loosely around herself as Lauren draped her own arm over her shoulder. She still didn’t know how she felt about her relationship with Lauren. The sudden proposal still replayed in her head but she didn’t have time to think about that right now. Her mind wondered as she thought about the safety of her kids and the weariness of Lola being out of prison… again. Her life just seemed to be a never ending pile of destruction and she just wanted to run away… like Lauren said. Her eyebrows furrowed as she turned to look at the woman next to her. She went to open her mouth and question her before shaking her head and deciding to keep it shut until later on.

“Tell me about it,” Lucy mumbled as she locked the doors of the rental car.

Lauren huffed softly, her grip on Camila tightening. “So are you gonna explain why we’re here?”

Lucy nodded distractedly as she smacked her lips and nodded off towards her right as they began walking towards a group of buildings. “Janelle told me that Lola was granted parole in Yakutat because this initially is where the crime took place which I think is complete bullshit because the original crime was when she falsified your murder in Florida. Yakutat is a small town, but so easy to escape. Lola can redo everything she’s ever planned. She can hire or even threaten her way around here and start up her ridiculous revenge plot. We need to end it before it starts.”

The brown eyed woman furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she released herself from Lauren’s hold and quickened her pace to walk beside Lucy as she began questioning. “End it how?” She asked in bewilderment. “Its Lola. She’ll just kill me for good now. You brought me all the way here just so she could do that, right? You’ve been working with her all along. You know I’m a moth-”

Lucy stopped abruptly, reaching out to grab Camila’s wrist in a forceful hold. The woman went to scream before her eyes landed on Lucy’s soft ones. Lucy slowly released Camila, running a distressed hand through her hair before turning to look at Lauren. “I’ve fucked up in the past. So much. I lost the love of my life, I watched as she hurt over someone who was still here, I watched as she raised two amazing independent girls on her own all while trying to manage her own internal heartbreak,” Lucy paused, staring deeply into Lauren’s pale green eyes. “I’ll do anything to amend my wrongs. I’m never going back to the way I use to be. I don’t want to, and I won’t allow myself to. I’m stronger, I’m better and my head is finally going down the right path,” she sighed shakily before turning back to Camila. “The last thing I want is to see get hurt again. I watched on the sidelines for too many goddamn years. I’m gonna make it right this time. Even if it means putting myself away for life.”

Lauren’s eyes widened in horror at the woman’s last sentence. “Lucy, what are you talking about?”

Hot tears stung the corner of Lucy’s eyes as she chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m gonna kill her. I have to,” with that she continued straight forward towards the group of buildings collectively lined up beside each other.

Camila and Lauren shared a regretful stare before quickly following chasing after Lucy.

“You can’t do that,”

“Come on be rational Lucy,”

“We can just go to the cops again,”

“Yeah, we can do that. You can’t ruin your life like tha-”

Suddenly whirling around, fire burned within Lucy’s brown eyes. “Go to the cops? And tell that what? That my crazy step sister is trying to kill the Camila Cabello? Huh? Do you know what’d happen to me?”

Camila stopped, breathing heavily. “Why do you care so much? Huh? Its my life Lucy. Please. Let me handle it.”

Chuckling bitterly to herself, Lucy shook her head. “It may be your life, but you know nothing about mine,” she stared off into the distance before shaking her head once again. “When Lola sends a group of correction officers to gang rape you every fucking day in jail, not being able to fight back because you’ll just be thrown into solitary, then speak to me. Everything isn’t about you.”

“Lu-”

“I’m gonna kill her, with or without you guys here,” Lucy stared them down before turning on her heel and walking away, both Camila and Lauren’s feet basically being glued to the ground as they watched in silent horror.

Camila turned to look at the mother of her children before whispering softly, “What do we do?”

***

a/n: short ass chapter, just a filler for the shit about to go dddoooowwwnnnnn. omg, i know y'all hate me and that i’ve been gone for over five months and i’m sorry. life just happened and idk what else to say really. i’m back now and hopefully i stick around because i truly have missed writing so fuckin much. like a huge ass relief has washed over me because i absolutely love what i do and writing for people.

now welcome back to my world full of angst and drama (; i promise the camren fluff is coming soon. y'all have waited two books for it and it’s gonna be here in a few short chapters.

now, i have a brrraaannnndddd new book out called “one night stand” and its camren ofc. this book was really a spur of the moment type of thing but i already love what i have in store for it so far and i truly think i’m gonna be committed as fuck with this book. yes, it has smut. a lot of it actually. so please go check it out on my page, add it to your library.

of course, amazing cover creds to SLOTHTATO literally their work is fucking phenomenal. best cover maker on all of wattpad, idc, fight me. like look at this (obviously my tumblr readers can’t see it so go add the book in your library on my wattpad @ wthbello because it’s a sexy ass cover).

anyways, yeah, please go check that out. i’ve worked really hard on it and i really like where it’s going. it has angst, but definitely a lot less angst than this story right here. the angst in this is actually way more relatable to real life problems and stuff like that so once again, please go check it out after this.

don’t forget to vote, comment and answer end of the chapter questions below. if you’re a tumblr reading, come follow me on wattpad @ wthbello and add my new camren story 'one night stand’ to your library and read it and vote and comment and all that amazing stuff. thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed.

i’m a sucker for feedback and it’ll help me navigate where to go in the aspects of what my readers will enjoy (if y'all are still here since i’ve been so goddamn MIA lmao) so please answer at least a couple end of the chapter questions to the best of your abilities. again, if you’re from tumblr, head over to my wattpad so you can do that.

what do you think about this chapter?

what do you think will happen next?

how do you feel about lola being out?

how do you feel about lucy being out?

do you think lucy’s bluffing and she’s really working with lola?

where do you think tori and her mom are?

what do you think is/will happen with lauren and camila’s children?

what do you wanna see moving forth?

what are you least worried about?

what are you most worried about?

last but not least, how do you feel about camila’s new music and 5h’s album, lauren’s single, dinah’s feature, and 5h’s collab with pitbull? y'all knew i had to ask this since i haven’t been here since the day before the girls released their album lol.

anyways, thanks so much for reading. i appreciate so much if you’re still for some reason stick around, you have no possible idea how much it means to me and i’m forever grateful for you

[silkyandsurveys]

July 28 2017

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes I love winter 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I just fold the page 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don't take it at all 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes I'm super self conscious of my smile I used to not be until people started pointing it out 6: do you keep plants? No cause they die really easily 7: do you name your plants? No 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I write in a journal 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I love singing so much I wish I was good at it more than anything lol 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Back and side always 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? To many to list or count 12: what's your favorite planet? Neptune and Uranus ;) 13: what's something that made you smile today? I hung out with one of my sisters friends and we always have a good time 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? MESS 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! No 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Chicken alfredo always and forever 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Purple would be so cool 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Me and my two very close best friends decided to make slime and throw it at my ceiling and pieces of it are forever stuck to my ceiling. Me and my friend were peeing our pants everywhere 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I keep notebooks around that I randomly and rarely write and draw in but I have a notebook app that I frequently write in. Just about my day or my week 20: what's your favorite eye color? brown and hazel like yesss they're so pretty 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Can't say I have one 22: are you a morning person? Noooooo 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in my bed and go on my phone 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yeah kinda 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? A car at a car dealership lmao 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I used to be obsessed with toms but currently my converse 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon forever bitch 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset of course 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? She's really really smiley and I pick at her for it but it's actually really nice 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Socks are make or break situation. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Spent 3 hours making a video star to its everyday bro by Jake Paul. All the words are engraved into my brain 33: what's your fave pastry? Cheese danish bitch 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Lamb pillow pet. Named lamby. Just look up lamb pillow pet but the fur on it is all fucked yo because my mom put it in the dryer. And yes I still have it 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? No 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? None my brain is literally white noise right now I'm so tired 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean 38: tell us about your pet peeves! There's so many I'm not abot to get into that mess 39: what color do you wear the most? Dark colors for sure 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a necklace with my name on it. Got it from my grandma I wore it a lot in seventh grade aka one of the worst years ever 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? Elenor and park 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No because I hate coffee and I'm not a hashtag Tumblr aesthetic girl so I don't go running around trying to find aesthetic coffee shopsn 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I legit don't remember 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Probably at night in a car when I was like 10 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Ok found this joke from a vine don't @ me. Anal with her made my day. But it made her hole week. Bitch I die 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Twinkies. Beef sticks. Tomatoes. Mushrooms. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Car crashes. Thunderstorms/ natural disasters. And yes 100% 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? No it's dumb I pay Apple Music 14$ a month for a reason 50: what's an odd thing you collect? I used to collect snow gloves but for some reason and somehow I have a lot of turtles from a bunch of different places. Like little turtle souvenirs 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My crush and it's so dumb but hey Stephen by Taylor swift damn. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? All of them 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? No.no.yes.no. Idk I haven't seen like any of them 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Ummmmm my face in the mirror idk 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Ummm not sure everything I do is dramatic so 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? It's 1am and I can't remember what endearing means 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It reminds me of glee. And ps I didn't listen to it just in my head I imagine Jessie sprinting around stage whilst Quinn gives birth so that's an image 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend abby is the vodka aunt and my friend julia is the wine mom 59: what's your favorite myth? Mermaids 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? No 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Little einsteins singing toy when I was 9 years old from m great grandma. Lol love! 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? No 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? No I own like 4 books 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yeah some friends from school I miss 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Ew shut up (roses) 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Sad and gross 68: what's winter like where you live? Brutal but I <3 it 69: what are your favorite board games? Uno and spoons and don't come at me saying they're not board games because I don't care 70: have you ever used a ouija board? No im not about to release that shit in my home 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? I don't like tea but if I had to choose sweet passion green tea from Panera fucks major shit up 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? No 73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my nails. Chewing the inside of my gum and picking at the skin on my thumbs 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Awesomely cool dude 75: tell us about your pets! Annoying but cute sometimes I guess 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Sleeping 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink always 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Hateclub I would say j always have been but I'm gonna be honest and expose myself for wearing a minion shirt to school in fifth grade. Soo. 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Ummm not sure 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Dark purple. No I did not. I wanted lilac but since I'm the younger sister I don't get to choose 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Ocean 82: are/were you good in school? Yeah 83: what's some of your favorite album art? Ummm the flower boy album that just came out is really cool 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Eh they seem cool and I like them but I feel like trendy tattoos are the most regretful 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah. Not any in specific 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Cuberbully lmao it's kinda cringey but it's so good and hatchi because that shit has made me hyperventilate. Omg and titanic 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? ???? Again 1:30 am brain doesn't understand 89: are you close to your parents? Yeah 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I love philly don't get mad at me for loving trash 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? My home and my school 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? GIVE ME ALL THE CHEESE 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just done or in a ponytail 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? The boy I like lol 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Well I hope it's to hang out with my friends but work is a stupid bitch 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Idk off the top of my head. Aquarius. I think gryffindor 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? For a school field trip and no becaue I was sweating and dying 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I won't mind by zayn <3 that song because it explains my whole life that literally any body I like will not be mine ever! 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future maybe?

[positivelyamazonian]

My Lartis playlist (III) - Love & Lust

Ok, so.... maybe it’s time to release the third part of my Lartis playlist. I’ve been doubting a little because looks like first part was very appreciated, when it comes to sadness and loss every TRAOD fan can relate; but truth be told second part arose less enthusiasm, maybe because the thing went more personal. I’m afraid it’s gonna happen more or less the same with this third part, but, anyway, here it goes. 

This time I focus on love and lust and, most often, in both. Because I understand the potential romance/relationship between Lara and Kurtis needs to have these two aspects. I don’t want their relationship based only in love, without the lust, because then it’d be some kind of Twilight romance, on a teen-ish relationship, and we’re talking of two adults who were already wishing to fuck each other in the airlock cutscene in TRAOD - and if you think otherwise, you’re lying.

But also, a relationship based just in lust is as much as unsatisfactory to me. I don’t like making everything about sex between them. Again, in TRAOD we can already sense they care for each other, which is touching in both cases considering they’re loners, merciless killers and they have just meet each other. So yeah, love must be present also in there.

All these songs remind me, more of less, this headcanon of mine, and have me inspired more than once to write more than one passage of my fanfics, or simply, were sounding while I was writing.

Nightwish - Come Cover Me (Wishmaster)

Nightwish was my first metal band and I’ve very fond memories of it. Unlike Epica and Within Temptation, their lyrics speak about lust and erotica more than often, but they’ve this tasteful mix with love I really enjoy in Lartis. Come Cover Me, a song as romantic as passionate, with erotic vibes, is probably the one which best represents what I mean.

Come cover me with you For the thrill ‘till you will take me in Come comfort me in you Young love must live twice only for us...

Damn, it’s perfect. Also the famous single Wish I Had An Angel will be perfect too, though this song is more lust and less love, honestly. The moans... and sighs... no comment.

I'm in love with my lust Burning angel wings to dust I wish I had your angel tonight...

Also, Tarja forever, bitches.

Samael -  High Above (Reign Of Light)

I discovered Samael thanks to a friend and after seeing many Wacken live shows in YouTube, I fell totally in love with this band. It’s something different, some techno-metal or whatever the hell it’s called, it’s harsh, and rough, and intense, so it speaks a lot of of lust to me. 

Their albums Reign Of Light and Eternal are, simply, flawless. Other albums are harder to listen to me. Among all their songs, High Above is the most perfect to me. I can perfectly picture a sexual relationship in the rythms and vibes of this song, but again, the lyrics are so perfectly tasteful... a must to listen.

While our souls fly high above Our bodies play their favorite games We climb, we climb towards the light Crawling on each other's skin Crawling on each other's skin...

Mmmmm. Yesss. Smooth.

This song was sounding when I wrote Mr. Vance Renner, btw.

Nine Inch Nails - Closer (The Downward Spiral)

Ok, not my band, not my style either, but this one is... legendary. It was needed. It was compulsory. Closer - originally Closer To God, ha! - is one of the most erotic and sensous songs ever written. I remember it was an iconic song back in the good days of the Sani (the KTEB forum) so it had to be here.

This song, despite the crudeness of its lyrics - which normally are NOT my cup of tea, but in this case I will let them pass - fits perfectly my idea of the rough, intense sex I picture for my OTP. Also, please, the rythms of the song... that bass is absolutely insane. Not to mention Trent Reznor’s voice. That guy gets you pregnant with his voice.

Through every forest, above the trees Within my stomach, scraped off my knees I drink the honey inside your hive You are the reason I stay alive

And again, it’s not just about the fucking. There are feelings, very intense and passionate, behind this frenetic coitus, and I love that mix.

Qntal - Entre Moi Et Mon Ami (Tristan Und Isolde)

Then he drew himself to me,

And I did not draw back;

Three times at least he kissed me,

And I returned them back;

Now that did not tire me.

Then how glad we should have been

Had that night lasted a century...

I was doubting if including this song, because it’s totally different from the previous ones, but... as I sometimes used it to inspire myself for writing, in the end I’ll include it. Entre Moi Et Mon Ami (”Me And My Friend”) is a Middle-Ages French poem written in Occitaine language which speaks about two lovers meeting secretly to enjoy their love. As it’s a very old romance, composed in a time where it was forbidden to speak openly about sex, it’s hard to find the erotic vibes on it, looking more like just a romance poem of two people kissing in a meadow. 

But if you know something about trobadours and minstrels, you’ll realize these songs spoke also about sex, but in a very veiled way. Qntal, nowadays reborn as Helium Vola, is an amazing, fascinating “band” who makes music out of Middle-Ages textes (Carmina Burana, Omnis Mundi Creatura, etc...) with a tasteful combination of electronics and operistic voices. It’s called electro-medieval for a reason, and I simply love it. Also, they went far, of course, than the original trobadour who might have written this poem, because the sighs and athmosphere of the song evokes, again, more just than mere kissing.

I love this uncertainty, this... smooth je ne sais quoi. And gosh I know this look totally out of style in this post, but I love this kind of music too. It’s more than music. It’s experimental.

Anyway, I will stop here. I think I bored you enough with this issue. Of course there are more songs that will perfectly fit here but... let’s leave this at this point. I hope you can enjoy some of them at least.

[misanthropicphilantropist]

Questions for Grown-Ups

(semi-but-not-really-tagged by @starsinursa because I’m a grown-up and I like answering questions...)

Tired of those surveys made by high school kids? “Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Drank alcohol?”

Here are 35 questions for Grown Ups:

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?: Right now my electricity bill. It's so high... I have to pay 150€ at the end of the month and I'm slightly panicked about it.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?: I wouldn't call it romantic, but I had dinner at the Greek place around the corner with my boyfriend.

3. What do you really want to be doing right now?: Sleeping, but I am actually too lazy to go to bed... Yep, that's thing.

4. How many colleges did you attend?: None. It works a bit differently in Germany. I attended school to get the education degree I needed to apply for uni, but I was bullied by my homeroom teacher and had to quit.

5. Why did you choose the shirt you have on now?: It's comfy. It's actually an old shirt to sleep in my grandma gave me some 20 years ago...

6. Thoughts on gas prices?: I live in Germany... They're always way too high. Though they're “low” at the moment, with 1,23€/Liter (not gallon) yesterday.

7. First thought when the alarm goes off in the morning?: “Shut the fuck up, I hate you so much. Just kill me already. Is this thing really important enough to get out of bed for?”

8. Last thought you have before you go to bed?: “If I fall asleep right now I have about 4 hours of sleep. Not bad.” (Then I headcanon about Destiel, ahem)

9. Do you miss being a child?: Yes. Living carefree, not worrying if you can afford something, no bills to pay, parents handling all the adult stuff... Sign me up!

10. What errand/chore do you despise the most?: Laundry by far. I get so motivated sometimes, but waiting for the machine to finish, I lose that motivation. Hanging laundry, ugh. I almost never put it away nowadays, just take what I need...

11. Up early or sleep in?: Sleep in for sure. If you let me, I can sleep for 12-20 hours...

12. Found love yet?: Yesss. Been in an amazing relationship for four years now and still going strong <3

13. Favorite lunch meat?: Like, on sandwiches? I'm not much of a bread eater, but I occasionally like liverwurst. Plus the word is funny.

14. What do you get at the grocery store every time?: Frozen food. I can't cook and I'm impatient. Also poor.

15. Beach or lake?: Both. There is this amazing lake near where my boyfriend lives that also has a sandy beach.

16. Is marriage outdated?: Somewhat, yeah. But I'm still a romantic at heart and I would love to marry my boyfriend. Which is never gonna happen, but still.

17. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?: Misha Collins, he seems so fun and smart. The right kind of dorky. Stephen Hawking would be amazing, too. I could listen to him for hours, even though I barely understand the topic...

18. Ever crashed your vehicle?: I bumped into things here and there, and once I rear-ended someone because I looked away for a second. Also my depth perception isn't that great. But never really crashed it, no.

19. Do you have any regrets?: A lot, but the way I see it, they changed me, made me who I am. But I would totally go back and never get my first three tattoos...

20. Strangest place you’ve brushed your teeth?: Eh, I don't know? The only place I ever brushed that wasn't at home (or at my boyfriend's) was at the dentist's, before an appointment. Oh, and hotel rooms. But nothing really strange.

21. Somewhere you’ve never been but want to go?: So many places. I would love to visit Sweden and Canada. England, too. And a lot of conventions in the US of A...

22. At this point, would you want to start a new career?: Any career for that matter. I haven't been able to really build something because I've been sick and unable to work most of my life...

23. How old are you?: Two weeks shy of 29...

24. Do you have a go-to person?: My boyfriend, for the most part. For “woman stuff” my best friend of 25 years.

25. Are you where you want to be in life?: Not at all. But I make the best of it.

26. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?: I loved the old Spiderman. Rugrats, Animaniacs, Scooby-Doo, Recess, AAAHH!!! Real Monsters, Rocko's Modern Life, Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball... All the good stuff.

27. What do you think has changed about you since you were a teenager?: I kind of made peace with myself. I stopped worrying about what other people think, I embraced my weirdness, I try to stay positive, live and let live. I realized there are more important things than focusing on stuff I hate. I mostly ignore that now.

28. Looking back at high school, were they the best years of your life?: I liked learning, always have. But I was the weird kid, shy, timid. I got bullied a lot. So no. High School was hell for me.

29. Are there times you still feel like a kid?: Yes. Sometimes I sound like an old hag, but I still get giggly over the tiniest things and get called childish a lot. I still feel young and can't believe I'm almost 30...

30. Did you have a pager?: A what now? Those were never really fashionable here, I don't think.

31. Was there a hang-out spot when you were a kid?: In the first village I grew up in, there were these two lakes. One of them had a functional manual water pump, which was nice in the summer. Also the goat and horse pens.

32. Were you the type of kid you’d want your children to hang out with?: I would encourage them probably. I was the weird kid that didn't talk much and mostly wanted to be left alone...

33. Was there a teacher or figure that stood out to you?: My homeroom teacher was this young woman, I think 32, really fierce, loud voice, didn't take shit. But also really nice if you showed her respect (which most didn't since our class was horrible). Then there was this substitute art teacher, super tall, super skinny, bleach blond hair, probably gay. Really nice. I once complained that my drawing looked “too anime” and he knew what I meant and gave me tips on how to improve. Fuck, I once wrote something like “I <3 yaoi” (I was really into that when I was younger, sue me) on the back of one drawing and when I got an A on it, I swear it was because of that. I actually had a lot of amazing teachers. Another homeroom teacher, two great math teachers, my English and French teacher... But equally as many bad ones, too.

34. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age”?: Oh yes. I don't mean to, but I do. Or rather I did, when I still talked to my now 20yo great-niece...

35. Are you religious?: Nah. I've been an atheist since I was about 12. I didn't grow up with religion. I don't mind it, but I dislike the church. Religion itself is actually quite interesting, but as a queer woman I could never really identify myself with it. I'm all about science, too. I don't mind religious people, though, unless they try to shove it down my throat.

[selanpike]

PS/Intermission fic: Theatre kids AU

i was going through my files trying to find an unfinished fic i’ve lost track of, and i found this little gem that i’m moooostly sure i haven’t posted?

this was a script for something i was going to draw as a comic. i never did the art for it, but the script exists so here you go here’s a script about the intermission/problem sleuth characters in a theatre au.

(The setting is a theater. Team Sleuth, the Midnight Crew and some others are in the audience, sitting haphazardly since they’re not really there to watch anything. Hussie is at the front of the audience, reading from a paper)

Huss: Okay, so we’ve got the results of your auditions. The parts of the heroes, the Meddlesome Company, will be… Spades Slick as Snooping Scout (SS: Awww what?) Diamonds Droog as Deadeye Detective, Clubs Deuce as Cheerful Demoman, and Hearts Boxcars as Heavy Brawler.

The villains, the Twilight Scoundrels will beeee… Problem Sleuth as Peccant Scofflaw (PS: You gotta be kiddin’ me!), Pickle Inspector as Pernicious Innovator (PI: Oh.) and Ace Dick as Angry Delinquent (AD: Yesss!)

PS: Hey, what th’ hell?! Why’d they get t’ be th’ stars ‘n we’re stuck’s th’ lousy lowlives?!

Hussie: Because your names matched, now pipe down.

SS: Fuckin’ bullshit is what it is.

(Hussie continues to read the cast and crew assignments in the background.)

SS: I don’ wanna play no fuckin’ lawman, fuck this.

CD: But you get to be the star!

DD: Excuse you. I get to be the star. Slick gets to be my sidekick.

SS: I ain’t no one’s sidekick!

PS: At least my character’s cool, even if he’s a fuckin’ criminal.

AD: Man, get over it, playin’ the bad guy’s the best there is.

PI: I’ll have to study my character…

Hussie: Okay, scripts are on the table next to the door, so get out and start memorizing your lines!

(Everyone exits. The next scene is backstage, the next day.)

PS (reading script): “Allow me t’ introduce m’self. Name’s Scofflaw, Peccant Scofflaw. Pleased t’--” Aaaaagh this is stupid! I don’ wanna be th’ damn villain, I wanna be the hero!

PI (wearing black hat): C-calm down, Scofflaw. Start from the beginning.

PS: ‘n stop callin’ me that!

AD (rushing in): Hey, I got this great idea t’ really look the part.

(AD smears some black paint on his face. He grins.)

AD: Eh? Ehh? We can paint ourselves t’ look like dersites.

PI: Uhh.

PS: Don’ tell ‘im, Pickles. This’s a lesson he’s gotta learn himself.

(AD continues smearing paint on his face. HB looms behind him, looking furious)

PI: I th-think we sh-should…

PS: We’ll jus’ let Hearts eat a finger or two, then we’ll save ‘im.

(Change scene. It’s the next day, and some weasels or something are fucking around near the backdrops. Slick stomps in)

SS: Hey, watch it! Miss P painted that shit ‘n if any o’ youse fuck it up, ‘ll fuckin’ gut ya’ from head t’ toe!

(PI appears behind him, dressed all in black.)

PI: That’s awfully big talk, Scout.

SS: What the hell?!

DD: He’s still in character.

PI: Maybe you’d like it if I removed the other eye, too.

SS: Shit, man, ‘s creepy ‘s fuck.

DD: He is taking this way too seriously.

PS (walking by): Pickle don’ fuck around when it comes t’ make believe.

SS: Well keep ‘im on a damn leash or somethin’!

PS: Yeah, whatever. Hey Pickles, c’mon, let’s rehearse th’ bank robbery.

PI (following): My name is Innovator, Scoff. Get it right.

(They leave. The next day, PI and CD are rehearsing. PI summons purple flames.)

PS: Okay, this's goin' too far.

SS: The hell is this?!

DD: He's using his Imagination to pretend he has sinister shadow-based magic.

HB: Ain't a bad approximation.

AD: Goddammit Pickles, you're gonna set the theater on fire!

(AD runs over to get PI under control)

PS: Somethin's gotta be done.

DD: For once, I agree with you.

SS: I could stab 'im.

PS: How's about ya' leave th' plannin' t' me?

SS: How’s about you suck my dick?

(Later, Sleuth’s leading Pickle towards a door)

PI: I d-don’t have time for this, Scofflaw.

PS: I jus’ gotta show ya’ somethin’.

(Sleuth opens the door. Everyone’s standing around in a circle.)

PS: This’s an intervention.

PI: Y--YOU CAN TAKE MY BOOZE OVER MY DEAD BODY

AD: … this ain’t about that.

PS: Not today, anyway.

PI: Oh.

SS: Y’ need t’ stop bein’ such a goddamn psycho.

DD: Not that it’s entirely convincing.

AD: You’re creepin’ everyone th’ fuck out.

PI: But I’m j-just acting?

PS: Actin’ like a tool, maybe.

PI: … but I can keep my booze?

HB: We don’t care if you’re drunk, jus’ stop settin’ everythin’ on fire.

PI: Oh. Okay.

(Hours later)

(the theater is on fire)

PS: GODDAMMIT PICKLE

PI: SORRY NOT SORRY