#I’m gonna be honest this is gonna be a lil dramatic

[llumimoon]

Btw just changed up the page navigation layout for The Talk comic !! I’ll make a master post of all the pages after the comic is finished bc LMAO all those links increasing every page killed me

[skzooweemama]

Because this tiktok trend is really old now how would skz reaction to you wiping off thier kisses? Like because it's an old trend they probably wouldn't be thinking that's what you're doing.

gotta keep them on their toes right? i gotchu!!

oh my gosh it’s been nearly a month since i’ve posted anything i- 😭😭 midterms are over now, so i’m hoping i’ll have more time! still working on the rest of the requests i’ve received not to worry 🫡🫡

i hope y’all like this one! i’m gonna be honest, i didn’t have a lot of ideas going into it, so i changed it up a lil from how the prompt was. i think it turned out okay though!

enjoy!

~~~

Bang Chan:

"Baby?" Your boyfriend called down the hall, wandering from the in- home studio to find you in the kitchen making a snack.

You smiled as Chan rounded the corner, with bleary eyes and messy hair. "Hi love, did you just finish?" He hummed and drew you into a hug once he was close enough, burying his head into the crook of your neck. You giggled at his cute behavior and rubbed his back gently.

"Finished and fell asleep..." Chan mumbled into your neck, the sensation making you giggle.

You brought a hand up to scratch at the nape of his neck. "Sounds like you needed it, hm?" Another hum escaped your sleepy boy. "Do you want some of my snack?" Chan nodded, raising his head to see what you were making.

You pulled away briefly to grab the snack (cheese and crackers, a classic) and fed him some. Chan giggled when he realized you wanted to feed him and let you, blushing a bit from the gesture. Afterwards, he pressed a crumby kiss to your cheek.

"Gah! Chris!" You cried out, dramatically wiping at your cheek. Honestly, you didn't really mind, but you wanted to see how he'd react.

Chan just giggled, a shy smile spreading on his face as he pulled you close once again, covering you in more (yet significantly less crumby) kisses.

You squealed out and pushed at his chest, Chan’s laughter mixing with your own as he continued with his attack. “Baby!” You whined, playfully squirming in his hold.

Chan’s arms slipped around your waist and held you fast, his lips trailing down to yours. His warm breath fanned across your face, leaving you completely defenseless. Then he pressed a searing kiss right to your lips, leaving you breathless when he pulled away. You stared up at him, a dazed look in your eyes.

“You’re not gonna wipe that one away now, are you?”

Lee Know:

"Honey? Is that you?" Minho's voice was soft, but it still broke through your post-work haze as you toed off your shoes by the door.

"Yeah Min, I'm home." You called back, shrugging off your jacket and hanging it up. Your scalp was screaming from being up in a bun all day, so you worked on wrestling out the bobby pins while you made your way to the living room.

You freed your hair from its confines just as you came around the corner, finding Minho’s gentle gaze peering back at you. He offered you a warm smile and patted the couch, beckoning you over.

“Hi love…” You said softly, plopping down beside Minho and letting him pull you into his side. You buried your head into the fabric of his hoodie and took a deep breath. “Missed you…”

Minho made a small cooing noise in the back of his throat and pet your hair gently. “Long day?”

“Only the longest… I just keep telling myself that this is my dream job…” You sighed, turning to rest your cheek against his chest.

“That bad, hm? You wanna talk about it?” Minho’s words sent tingles through your body from being pressed so close to him. You huffed out a laugh and shook your head.

“It’s okay, I’m just tired."

"Okay." Minho responded, shifting so he could press a smooch to your forehead.

The kiss was loud and dramatic, and it made you giggle. Without thinking, you wiped at the excess spit his left on your forehead. "Minho! You slobbered me!" You exclaimed, looking up at your boyfriend with a goofy grin on your face.

Minho was staring back at you. If looks could kill, you would be at death's door. It was as if his eyes were screaming at you, beyond offended at you wiping away his love. You couldn’t help but laugh and sat up, pressing your own kisses onto his skin in an apology.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Give me another kiss, I won't wipe it off again!"

Changbin:

Changbin, your love, your light, your life, had been annoying you to no end. This morning it had been his excessive screaming, this afternoon it had been his covers of random songs, and now he would not stop trying to teach you his rap parts in one of their new songs. And he was a really bad teacher.

"No, baby! The flow isn't right, you miss this syllable," He gestured to the lyrics written out in front of you, "and it really kills the rhythm. Let's try again!"

"Bin! I don't get it! I'm not a rapper!" You exclaimed, feeling more and more frustrated by his criticisms. Plus his hand writing was so bad that you could hardly read the lyrics in the first place.

Changbin pouted, grabbing your hand gently. “Can we try again? Please?” You groaned and slumped forward in your seat, laying your head on the table for a moment.

“Fineeee…” You said after a moment. Changbin smiled at the success of his pouting and started the track again.

This time, the word flowed from your lips like water in a stream. You didn't have near as much swagger as your boyfriend did while rapping, but you didn't sound bad by any means. When you chanced a glance over to Changbin, he was sitting there with stars in his eyes. You smiled despite yourself as the verse came to an end.

"So? Was that better?" You asked, leaning back in your chair.

"Was it better? That was great! My baby is a natural!" Changbin exclaimed, leaning over the table to press kisses to your cheeks.

You giggled and batted at him playfully. "I'm not a natural! You had to help me, silly!" Changbin stopped his attack and sat back, and you took the chance to wipe at all the kisses he left on your face. "That's for instilling me with false confidence." You snickered, smiling at him mischievously.

Changbin gasped and let out a dramatic whine. "Babyyyyy!! How could you?! Do you not love your Binnie??" You just started laughing, heart melting immediately at Changbin's cute pout.

"Noooo! Wait I'm sorry!" You laughed, getting up from your chair to hug your pouty boy. "I'll give you all the kisses you want, no more wiping them off!"

Hyunjin:

"Yah! Stay still!" Hyunjin barked at you from his seat in front of the canvas, throwing you a playful glare. You sighed and sat up straighter, trying your hardest to stay posed how he wanted you.

"Hyunnnn... my back is hurting!" You whined (because he didn't say anything about staying quiet). "Are you almost done?"

Hyunjin glanced at you again, his gaze softened. You knew he was starting to feel guilty for keeping you sat there for so long. He looked back to the canvas and started to work more diligently.

"Just a bit longer, okay? You look so beautiful, my love. I don't wanna rush..." Your boyfriend responded, his voice much less harsh now.

You nodded and settled in, keeping perfectly still and trying to ignore the burning that was slowly creeping up your spine. You distracted yourself by watching Hyunjin work. His long black hair was pulled up and away from his eyes, which were focused and calculating as he worked. He was just too pretty. It was unfair, honestly, but selfishly checking him out was your compensation so you couldn't complain too much.

Except for the fact that the pain in your back was getting harder to ignore.

You let out a loud, frustrated sigh before finally, finally, Hyunjin put down that godforsaken brush.

"Okay, okay, I'm done for now." He said, getting up and stretching. You did the same, trying to quell the fire in your muscles. "Come here, baby." You looked to see Hyunjin with his arms out, offering you a hug.

"I don't feel like I should hug you after that torture." You said, crossing your arms. Hyunjin smiled and shook his head, walking forward to wrap you up in his embrace anyway.

"Too bad, I missed you~" He hummed, burying his head in the crook of your neck. You couldn't help but smile and melt into him. Hyunjin chuckled and stepped back, brushing your hair away from your face and giving you a loving look. You pulled a playful scowl back onto your face, which made him laugh once again. "You're cute..." He hummed, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead...

...which you promptly wiped right off, jumping up from your seat and making your way to the door.

Hyunjin caught you around the waist just before you could escape. "Yah! That's not nice! Don't wipe away my love!" He exclaimed, a playful lilt in his tone. You began to giggle gleefully, which made him growl in your ear. "Oh, you wanna laugh?"

You squealed as his fingers dug into your tickle spots, and through your laughter you cried out, "I'm sorry! I won't wipe them away again!"

Han:

When you heard the front door close, it was nearing 1am. This was much later than the time that Jisung promised to be home. You'd practically been worried sick, especially since he wasn't answering your calls or texts. But no, clearly he was fine- just ignoring his worried partner.

So there you sat, arms crossed, silently fuming as your lovely boyfriend came around the corner.

Immediately, you felt bad when you saw him. He looked so tired. His big eyes were bloodshot and framed with dark circles when they were usually bright and full of life, and he was a bit slouched as he walked. But still, he perked right up when he saw you, lips pulling into his big, gummy smile.

"Hi baby!" He said cheerfully. His voice would be a sharp contrast to his appearance, if it wasn't for the hoarseness from recording all day. You glanced at the clock once again and felt yet another pang of frustration.

"Hi Ji," You greeted, offering him a tight lipped smile. "Little late, isn't it? Why didn't you answer my texts? I was worried." Jisung visibly deflated at your words as he sat beside you and that made your heart wrench in your chest.

"Ah- it is late, huh? I'm sorry, baby. I got caught up editing tracks with Chan and my phone died. The studio doesn't have Apple chargers anymore, so I couldn't fix it and there's no clock so-," You cut off his rambling with a hand on his arm.

"Ji- calm down. It's okay, I was just worried, that's all. I'm glad you're home." You told him, offering him a smile to assure him that you were being genuine. Jisung relaxed, and you opened your arms to pull him into a hug. "You okay?"

He nodded against your shoulder, holding you close. The two of you sat in silence for a moment before he pulled away and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You gave him a teasing look and dramatically wiped at the kiss, attempting to get a rise out of him.

That did not go over well, and instead of playing along, tears gathered in Jisung's eyes and his lips immediately pulled into a deep frown.

You laughed in disbelief and pulled him into another hug, holding the back of his head protectively.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry! I was just joking, please don't cry! I won't wipe any more off!"

Felix:

"Babe, are you gonna finish up soon? I'm bored..." You whined, laying face down on your boyfriend's bed, phone abandoned beside you. He'd been working on his PC for hours and you just wanted his attention.

"Impatient, hm?" Was all Felix said in response, and you could practically hear the smile in his voice.

You groaned loudly and kicked your legs. "Lix, it's been hours. I'm wasting away over here!" Felix just laughed, his deep chuckle sounding way too teasing.

You lifted your head and scowled at his back, wishing he'd set down those stupid tools and come pay attention to your before you literally went insane. As you glared at him, an idea crossed your mind. There was an old Tiktok couples prank that you had been wanting to try since you started dating... What better way to get back at him for ignoring you?

Felix was hunched over his keyboard at you approached him from behind, focused on screwing something into something else. When you reached him, you leaned forward, pressing your chest against his back, and wrapped him up in a back hug.

"Lix... pay attention to me..." You whispered in his ear, you voice overly sensual. Felix tensed up beneath you, and you heard his breathing pick up in the quiet of the room. "Oh? Was that all it took?" You teased, nipping at his earlobe before returning to your place on the bed.

It took about .5 seconds until Felix was on you, pushing you down onto the bed and kissing your feverishly. You giggled into the kiss, allowing him to cage you in just for a moment before you pushed at his chest. Felix pulled away and looked at you wildly, his cheeks and ears still bright red from when you flustered him.

You held eye contact with him as you wiped your lips with the back of your hand, giving him a wink as you did so. Felix's face was shocked for a moment, but then he smiled. Fuck, you forgot about how much he was on Tiktok too.

"Did you try to prank me? Why don't I make you regret ever wiping my kisses off, then?"

Seungmin:

Today was one of those rare days that you had off from work. It was a small blessing after a hectic week of project reports and visits from your higher ups, and you were thankful to have some time to recooperate. Unfortunately, Seungmin was still working and you wouldn't see him until the evening.

Luckily he forgot to pack lunch today, so you had the perfect excuse to cook him something he liked and visit him at work.

When you knocked on the door to the practice room all he and his members were in, they had all just finished a dance practice. Seungmin couldn't help the goofy smile that took over his face when he saw you, which made you laugh. The boys teased him for a moment as they gathered their things, greeting you kindly when they filed out the door.

"How was practice?" You asked once everyone had left. Seungmin groaned dramatically and flopped onto the small couch near the door. You laughed and maneuvered him so you had some room to sit too. "That bad?"

"'S fine, just hardddd... my body hurts..." He whined, throwing an arm over his eyes. You hummed and patted his tummy, which made him groan again.

"I'm sorry you're hurting, love. Do you want some food?" Your question had him interested, so he removed his arm from over his eyes and looked at you.

"You brought me food?" He asked. You were almost offended at how surprised he looked.

"Duh, you forgot to pack anything this morning. I wasn't gonna let my baby starve!" Your words were teasing, but genuine, and you watched joyfully as Seungmin's cheeks got all rosy. He sat up and scooted towards you, wrapping you up in a hug and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

It would've been a nice gesture if he wasn't so sweaty.

"Ah! You're getting me all gross with your sweat!" You cried, cringing at the hug and shying away from the kiss. Once he let you go, you immediately began wiping at your lips and trying to rid yourself of any residual boyfriend sweat.

"Oh yeah? You're gonna be like that? Wiping off my kisses?" Seungmin asked, giving you a challenging look. Without a second thought, you attempted to jump up and run away, only to be caught around the waist.

"Wait! I won't wipe them off again! Seungmin!"

I.N:

You considered messing with Jeongin to be a sort of art form, to say the least. He was clever, but he could also be gullible. That made pranks a 50/50 shot with him, either he figured you out immediately or he would fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

Today, you had devised a fool-proof plan to make sure that he would let you have your fun.

Couple pranks were something you had been wanting to try for a while. You didn't want to film them or post them or anything, you just purely liked a good, light-hearted prank and your boyfriend was a decent victim. There was one that had caught your attention back before you had started dating Jeongin, and it seemed like one he was unlikely to catch onto. Until you told him about it, at least.

It all started when you came back from grabbing groceries at the store. Errands were no fun to do alone, but since it was hard to go out in public together with Jeongin, you usually had no choice. It was all better when you got back home, though.

Jeongin had the weekend free from schedules, which was pretty uncommon. It also meant he was there to greet you when you came home instead of you waiting for him. He was sitting in the kitchen doing work on his computer when you came through the door.

A smile immediately broke out across his face when he saw you, his dimples greeting you just as eagerly. "Hi, babe. Need some help?" It wasn't really even a question he needed to ask, because he was already getting up to grab the bag from you before you could answer.

You smiled at him lovingly and set down the second bag. Jeongin set down the one he took beside it, and when you turned towards him, he captured your lips in a gentle kiss. You sighed into the kiss and cupped his cheek, drawing him in closer.

“Hi…” You whispered when you pulled away, still feeling those classic butterflies when you looked into his bright eyes. Jeongin giggled and leaned to kiss you again, just a peck this time, before he turned to start putting the groceries away.

“Was the store okay? I heard-,” Whatever he was gonna say next died on his tongue as he turned and looked to see you wipe your mouth on the back of your hand. “Did… did you just wipe my kiss away?”

You couldn’t help but break out into laughter at his words and the look of pure confusion on his face. He didn’t look remotely offended, just confused.

“I’m sorry baby, it was just a prank!”

“Too bad, I’m never kissing you again.”

“Nooo!! I promise to never wipe off another one!”

[grey342]

Hii! I’m so glad to see someone currently writing bradley cooper fics because honestly PHIL CAN GET IT. i wanted to request maybe a jealous!phil where reader goes on a friends bachelors trip and knowing Phil’s past he gets all angsty, as smutty as you’d like :) honestly anything you’d write id love!!

Don't leave me

Jealous! Phil x reader

synopsis - Phil's girlfriend goes on a trip for a bachelorette party and he's not happy about it.

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, Phil being dramatic, Phil being jealous (Obv), lingerie, slight handjob, P in V, riding and praise.

authors note - Thank you so much for this request and the sweet compliment! I gotta be honest i'm not a huge fan of angst so I made Phil a lil more dramatic and kinda sassy. I still hope you like it :)

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

This man is gonna be the death of me.

The main thought running through your head whilst packing. His remarks and whines can be heard from the next room.

Your close friend was having her bachelorette party this weekend but, she also wanted to spend a couple of days with the bridal party before her wedding. So you all decided to spend a long weekend in Vegas. And Phil is not happy about it.

"I mean, I don't get why you have to go," you roll your eyes at him, "it's not like she's your best friend."

"Oh yeah? And who is?" You retaliate, smirking.

"Me." He scoffs, as if this is obvious information, walking into the room. You take one look at him and start laughing.

You're not stupid, you kind of guessed why he was so mad about you going but now. He's made it really clear for you.

"What's so fucking funny?" He says confused, placing his hands on his hips. A gesture you would usually find attractive but right now, it's making you laugh even harder.

"I just, uh, I can't believe it," you say in between wheezes, " I mean. I had an idea but now it's so obvious." You quietly chuckle.

"What? What is? You're not making any sense." He declares, clearly getting frustrated. After calming yourself down you finally say-

"You're jealous." Apparently, it's now his turn to burst out laughing.

"What? Where the fuck did you get that idea?" He managed in between laughs.

"You're jealous. You're so insistent on me not going, you're trying to tell me all the bad things about the girls. I mean you literally just said "she's not your best friend, I am." You're SO jealous." You clarify.

He's silent just staring at you. You can see the clogs turning in his head to try and come up with a good response. You swear you can see the light bulb appear on top of his head.

"You're just saying that to make yourself feel better about leaving me. For a whole weekend might I add." He says almost sassily and walks out of the room. Clearly proud of himself.

"Sweetie," you sigh, "it's only three days. I'll be back before you know it. We can text throughout the day and call every night." You try to deal.

"Or I have a better idea... don't go and we can talk all day and all night. Face to face."

You groan in frustration. You cannot believe this is the type of conversation you were having with your grown ass boyfriend. Pick the sassy men they said. You internally roll your eyes.

You walk into the living room to see him practically pouting on the couch. Scoffing, you go to walk away when an idea pops into your head.

"Hey Phil, if you stop complaining right now you can have your present early." He looks at you confused.

"What the fuck do you mean "present"?"

"Well since you are so predictable," you emphasise the last word, " I knew you would act like this when I said i'm going on a trip. So, I bought you something as a "sorry for leaving you, you big baby" gift."

"You did?" You can see the glint of excitement in his eyes.

"Yes my little princess but, clearly you are a lot more upset than I anticipated so i'm willing to give it to you early. If you want it that is." You wager. There's a long pause where he's weighing out his options.

"Okay," he clasps his hand together, " I have decided that I would like my present early. BUT I still want one for when you come back." He leans back on the couch, glowing with pride.

"Fine. I'll be right back." He rubs his hand together in anticipation as you leave the room.

Moments later you're shouting down the hall, "close your damn eyes." He grunts in disapproval.

"Okay and open." He does and your met with a groan that also sound like a moan.

"Oh baby." You're stood in front of him in a lingerie set, barely covering anything. Plus it's in his favourite colour.

"Am I forgiven?" You say, moving down to straddle his lap.

"Yes. A million times yes." He exclaims instantaneously as you giggle.

His mouth meets yours passionately, with your teeth and tongues clashing. His hands make their way down to your ass and yours to his chest. Pushing him lightly so his back meets the couch.

His slowly starts to kiss your jaw, then down your neck and finally the top of your chest. He looks up at you, almost pleading, and you give him a look of approval. His hands move around your back to unclasp your bra.

He slides it off at an agonisingly slow pace. When the bra is fully off he stares at your chest in awe. He moves his head down taking one nipple in the mouth and groping the other. You let out a content sigh.

He switches over, repeating the same process as you began to rock slowly, back and forth, on his lap. His moans vibrate on your chest as your breaths turn into pants.

You reach down in between you and start pulling at the waistband of his grey sweatpants, indicating you want them off. He knows what you want and immediately begins to pull them down. You look down and eagerly take him in your hand. You swipe your thumb over the tip and began pumping up and down.

"Fuck.." He groans. You push your panties over to the side and slide onto him. Both of you moaning in unison. You'll never get used to the way he feels, filling you up perfectly.

Once you're both ready, you begin to move back and forth, riding him. His hands take sanctuary on your hips, slowly guiding you. You lean down, placing your mouth on his, capturing his groans in your mouth.

"You're doing so good. Riding my dick so well baby, my good girl." He says against your mouth. He reaches down and starts to rub slow circles on your clit. You whimper at the contact.

"Oh fuck, do that again." Obeying his orders you do it again. He uses his other hand to begin assisting you in bouncing up and down. Your movements begin to change pace, going faster.

His groans and your whimpers becoming louder. He dick twitching inside of you, indicating he's close. You ride faster and bounce harder. He in turn, quickens his movements on your clit and his fingers dig into your hips, leaving bruises for later.

"Oh shit, Phil.. I'm close."

"I know honey, I know hold on a lil longer." He pants. Your cries being the response. Your head thrown back, eyes screw shut.

"Hey, look at me. I wan't you to look at me when you cum." He demands. You immediately open your eyes and stare into his. His gaze possessive.

"Oh fuck, Phil." You whine.

"Let go baby, give it to me." That send you over the edge. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, the pleasure taking over and your body began to shake.

"Oh shit, oh shit." He says as he fills you up, head resting in the crook of your neck.

Coming down from your highs, he lifts his head and smiles at you.

"What?"

"You're so beautiful." He places a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Mhm, i'm still going." You stand up and start walking towards the bedroom.

"Ah! Come on honey, i'm the love of your life! You can't leave me!" He calls out, following you.

[lowkeychenle]

Irrevocably [ZCL] (2)

Description: His decision has been made, but sometimes even Zhong Chenle can question his choices...

A/N: Thanks to popular demand, we have part two! I'm thinking this will be a three-parter. Do let me know if you would like a new one.

Genre: Angst, smut (no real sex but like smutty enough ig)

Content Warnings: Chenle is manipulative as hell in this!!! he is not a good guy in this fic!!! Do not read if you don't like it!!!!! This has gone into infidelity territory. Chenle is a bad dude in here, but the reader becomes a lil manipulative too. it's dramatic okay?

Word Count: 4,677

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader | Mark Lee x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Juliet's Masterlist | Requests

Not hearing from Chenle for a while hurt, but you expected after he left. You knew better than to assume your spot in his life anymore, and when you heard from Mark that Chenle and his girlfriend had gotten back together, it stung more than you thought it would.

You had nowhere to direct your anger. After all, you had no real reason to be angry in the first place. Chenle never promised you anything. He never once said he wanted to be with you in any other way besides what you already had.

Embarrassingly enough, you’d tried to reach out to him. None of your messages went through, not even making it to the ‘delivered’ status.

“So, he came over to see you, screwed you, and then left you in the morning after she called?” Mark raises his eyebrows, blinking in surprise. He sits on the floor between your couch and the coffee table.

“So eloquently put.” You roll your eyes. Sighing, you lean back against the cushion. “But yeah, that’s what happened. And now he has me blocked on everything.”

“I guess I’m just confused,” Mark says. “Why would he do that?”

You grab a decorative throw pillow and cover your face with it. “This is Chenle we’re talking about. I stopped asking about motives a long time ago.”

“Was he like this before?”

“No.” Your chest deflates. “Honestly, he used to be a really good friend, even when we were…you know. Are you mad that I slept with him?”

“Why would I be mad?” He frowns. “I mean, you know I like you. But I’m not gonna tell you what you can and cannot do with your body just because of that. If we were exclusive, it’d be different.”

“I almost stopped him. He’s just…familiar, if that makes sense.” Your cheeks heat up as you bite your tongue to stop yourself from continuing. The last thing you need to do is make any of this worse.

“I think we all have that person we’re weak for.” Mark gives you a half smile. “I get it.”

You cradle your pillow in your lap and rest your head in your palms. “This is probably the last thing you want to talk about.”

“I’ve had more favorable conversations,” he agrees. “And…if you don’t want something with me, that’s fine, you know? You just gotta be honest with me.”

The stark contrast between him and Chenle almost makes you question everything. Mark treats you the way you’re meant to be treated—kindly, with respect, like you matter. Chenle, on the other hand? He was nice to you when sex wasn’t involved…for the most part.

Back before he’d met his girlfriend, he was as close to perfect as he could get. He was respectful of you, he didn’t push your boundaries, he took care of you. Now it was manipulation and heartache and lies. Chenle lied to you. He said he missed you, that all he thought about when he was with her was you, and you couldn’t even try to believe that anymore. It made no sense.

Actions speak louder than words.

But if Mark is perfect, why the hell are you still thinking about Chenle?

“I can do that.” You sit there for a moment, contemplating what you’re even going to say to make any of this better. “I…I like you, but I like him, too.”

“So it wasn’t just sex.” Mark tries to understand, confusion plastered across his face.

“It was. But when he was here the other night, I kind of realized I didn’t think that way anymore. Everything he said to me…It just doesn’t feel fake, I guess.” You fidget with your fingers, unsure of why you’re giving so much detail to him.

“That changes things a little bit.” He shifts, resting one of his arms on his knee. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still not mad. But I think you need to figure things out. I’m not okay with being a second choice, (Y/N). And I hope you know you deserve better than the bullshit he’s been putting you through.”

“I’m trying,” you tell him.

“Right.” He stands, brushing his jeans off. “Do me a favor and call me when you figure things out, okay?”

“I–”

“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you later.”

You can’t even get another word out before Mark is out of the door. Shock courses through you, and you wonder if you made a mistake by telling him about your feelings for Chenle. Yes, his actions have been questionable lately, but that’s not the Chenle you knew. The Chenle you knew is the sort of guy who falls on the floor laughing, the over competitive to a fault sort, and whoever the hell left your apartment that night was not him.

Fantastic. Now you don’t have Mark, either.

The rest of the day is spent sitting in the exact same spot. You try to find something to keep you occupied, but without hearing from Mark, your phone is drier than the Sahara desert. Not to mention nothing seems interesting to you anymore. Staring at the ceiling has become quite the hobby.

You didn’t realize how often you spoke with Chenle until he was gone from your life completely. The two of you used to text constantly, not about anything in particular. Feeling the lack of his company hurts deep in your soul, in a way that shakes you to your core.

When you head into your kitchen to throw a bag of popcorn into the microwave, you don’t even get the bag out of the plastic before you hear a knock. Frowning, you check around to see if Mark had left anything, and maybe it was him coming back for it.

You don’t find anything, but you walk over and throw the door open. Everything inside you shifts, the blood apparently draining from your body at the sight of Chenle standing in your doorframe.

You barely even have a second to think before he’s lunging forward, a hand grasping the small of your back as he leads you back into your apartment and kisses you like his life depends on it. Shock courses through you, and by the time he’s pulling away, you’re at a loss for words.

You should be mad at him. You should push him away and ask him why the fuck he’s suddenly back.

Except that’s no longer on your mind when you catch the look in his eyes. You quickly realize Mark was right—everyone has someone they’re weak for, and for you? It’s Chenle. His chest heaves from the abruptness of the kiss, his tongue darting out to wet his full lips.

“God, I need you so fucking bad right now,” he groans, pulling you flush against him.

You don’t question it. In your mind, this means his girlfriend must’ve left again. She no longer exists in your mind. Chenle would never do that to someone.

“I saw him leave,” Chenle whispers, trailing his lips down your neck to where it meets your shoulder. “Every time I see him with you, I want to kill him.”

“Chenle, I—”

“You like getting me strung up like this, huh?” He nips your skin. “I hate thinking about anyone else fucking you.”

Your world spins around you, and you’re half-convinced this is a dream, but you feed into it regardless. You’ve craved him the entirety of his absence, so if this is all in your head, you’ll thank yourself when you wake up.

“You can’t leave again,” you say, tangling your fingers in his hair.

“I won’t, baby,” he hums, resting his forehead on yours. “Can’t stay away from you.”

You tug him back to you, mouths smashing together. Every logical thought you’ve ever had has quickly exited, leaving you alone with a next to primal desire for the man before you. When you pull on his hair, he moans into your kiss, sending excited chills up and down your spine.

Remembering Mark briefly, you push Chenle away, turning toward your kitchen and aching for oxygen. You hate the way you want to forget the past two weeks. Like everything he’s done to you doesn’t matter anymore because he suddenly wants you again.

It’s not okay. You know it’s not, but somehow, it’s not enough to change your mind. You have to distance yourself from him, or every ounce of self-respect you’ve ever had gets flushed down the drain.

“(Y/N), where are you going?” Irritation tinges his voice.

“Better question,” you say, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Where the hell have you been?”

His eyebrows pinch, creasing his forehead. You swear you see a hint of guilt, but it disappears from your view when he turns his head.

“You think you can disappear for weeks and then when you show up at my door, I’ll just drop my pants for you?”

“That’s not what I said,” he replies with a scoff. “I don’t know what I was thinking, okay? I saw you and it just…I need you.”

“No.” You shake your head. “You don’t get to do that anymore.”

“What the hell is your problem?” Chenle’s voice raises. “You were never like this before.”

You freeze, a laugh of disbelief escaping your lips as you slap a hand over your mouth. “I’m the one that’s different?”

A shaky breath follows, and then you break into a psychotic laughing fit, gripping onto the counter as actual tears well in your eyes as you try to regain your composure.

“Your girlfriend broke up with you because you left pictures of me in your phone,” you remind him. “And then your first response was to come to my house and tell me how much you missed me and how much you need me, but then you went running back to her the second she was willing to talk about it.”

“That’s—”

“I’m not done,” you snap. Your fury grows, and red clouds your vision. “I warned you. I warned you she would make you choose, and you left without any hesitation. And I haven’t heard from you this whole time, so what the hell was I supposed to think?”

“Are you done now?” He narrows his eyes at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

You run your tongue over your teeth, nodding slowly. “You know what? Yeah. I am. Get out, Chenle.”

“Hey, that’s not what I meant—” He takes a step forward, and you take a matching one backward.

“Does she know you’re here?” You raise your eyebrows. “If I texted you right now, would I still be blocked?”

Chenle glances up at the ceiling. He doesn’t even need to tell you the answer—you already know.

“Oh, my God.” You stumble a little further back. “You just barged into my apartment, tried to get with me, and you’re still with her?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Oh, then please do enlighten me. How is it?”

“Why do you have to do this right now?” he asks, tugging his fingers through his hair as he turns away.

You don’t know him anymore. That much is clear to you—you will never be his, he will never be yours. Nothing about this situation is going to work, not that you ever truly thought it would in the first place. Could you really even be mad at him? You knew what you were getting yourself into when everything started.

“What do you feel about me?” you ask, folding your arms over your chest.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he shoots back, recoiling.

“Am I even your friend anymore?” You scoff. “Be fucking serious right now, do you see me as anything other than an easy fuck?”

“There’s nothing exactly easy about you, (Y/N).” He narrows his eyes at you. “I’m not letting you go.”

“Your girlfriend doesn’t want you here, Chenle.” You try to stay as cool as possible, letting your anger dissipate. “If you’re not going to leave her, you need to leave me. She made you pick, and now I am, too.”

“Are you serious?”

“Clearly.” 

“Not really sure where this fucking ego came from, but I don’t even know you anymore.” He shakes his head, turning away from you.

“Yeah,” you agree. “You’re too busy saving face in a relationship you’re clearly not too attached to. Does she not fuck you good enough?”

His silence is all you need. You imagine the way he closes his eyes, like his emotions are becoming too much for him.

“Or, I bet she hasn’t touched you at all since you got back together. Poor Chenle, can’t stand not getting his dick wet for a fucking month. You realize you’re doing exactly what she expects you not to do?”

“Yeah, because you’re such a saint, right?” He lets out a bitter laugh. “Hanging out with Mark and leading him on when I’m clearly the one you want.”

“If you don’t leave, I’m calling your girlfriend to come get you,” you threaten him, cocking an eyebrow.

“You’re gonna regret this,” he says.

“I don’t think I will.”

He leaves you alone, and all you can do is crumble to the floor when he shuts the door behind him. You trace over your lips, guilt sinking in at the thought of kissing Chenle when his girlfriend already thinks so low of you. How could you do this to her? She never did anything wrong to you.

As much as you know it’ll hurt, you steel your resolve. You deserve better, and this is exactly what you needed to catapult you toward Mark. He’ll be good to you, and eventually, you’ll get over Chenle. Hopefully, it’s not at Mark’s expense.

Jaemin was throwing a party. He invited Mark, who obviously decided he would take you. It’d been almost a month since Chenle burst into your apartment, so you figured you would be mostly over him in case he decided to show up at the same place.

Jaemin’s place was huge—hence why he’s always the host of these parties. The three story home is like a mansion, complete with dozens of empty rooms upstairs and vast space on the downstairs level for hundreds of people.

By the time you and Mark arrive, it’s already full. There are a few separate living rooms with giant couches, and random chairs strewn about for extra seating arrangements. Jaemin’s group usually sticks together. Years ago, when Chenle originally met them, he was the one who introduced you to the group. Everyone understood the dire situation between the two of you, but no one except Mark knew the full truth.

Since Chenle’s not there when you and Mark sit down, you hope that means he’s not coming at all.

Your relationship with Mark has gone well. You agreed to make it official, and the two of you proceeded to do normal relationship things. Even though you still have yet to sleep with him, you’ve done other things, and you were enjoying the slow pace you were taking. It was a nice contrast to the way things were with Chenle.

You sit on Mark’s lap, dropping your head into his neck while you laugh at something Jaemin said from across the room. His hands are latched around you firmly.

“No, that’s not even how that happened, dude.” Mark shakes his head, excitedly pointing at Jeno. “That motherfucker is just faster than me, okay? How was I supposed to know that?”

“You can just say you suck at sports,” Jeno retorts, grinning as he sips his drink.

Jisung stands from the other end of the couch. “Chenle’s here, gonna go grab him.”

You tense, and even though Mark feels it, you hope it’s not obvious to everyone else. Your boyfriend’s grip tightens on you, and he rubs his thumb on your hip in an attempt to comfort you. This’ll be the first time you’ve seen Chenle in a while, and you have no doubt in your mind that his girlfriend will be here too. You’ve met her plenty of times, but now it was different. She won. And she knows it, too.

“Are you okay?” Mark whispers in your ear. “We can do something else if you don’t want to be around him.”

“I’ll be fine.” You run your fingers through his hair and smile at him. “Thank you, though.”

“You sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? You know I don’t want him anymore.” You cup his cheeks and press a quick kiss to his lips. “You’re all I need and more.”

“Let me know if you change your mind. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” He squeezes you once, and then the two of you return to your conversation with Jaemin and Jeno.

Renjun brings drinks for everyone, and you gratefully accept yours. As you tip the cup to your lips, three figures make their way through the darkness and into their spots on the couch. Jisung, Chenle, and his girlfriend.

She sits between him and Jisung, leaving Chenle only a few feet away from you. You make brief eye contact, and the only acknowledgement he gives you is a quick raise of his brows. His gaze sweeps over how you’re positioned on Mark, and you’re almost certain you see a scowl on his face right before he sits.

He rests against the cushion, crossing his legs before he puts his arm around his girlfriend and tugs her close to him. She doesn’t even seem to notice your existence, and you feel hate bubble in your gut at the thought of them being happy together.

Mark pokes your side, making you laugh as you curl further into him.

“What are you doing?” you ask, grabbing his hand. “You know I’m ticklish.”

“I just like touching you.” He winks and takes a large sip of his drink.

“You’re pretty good at it, too.” You watch the smile on his face widen, and only when Jaemin says your name, are you shaken away from Mark.

“(Y/N), last time I had a party, didn’t you and Chenle get so drunk that you convinced him to dance on top of the pool table?” Jaemin’s voice is filled with laughter at the memory. “Guys, he wouldn’t get down. She had to go up there and try to get him down. They’re fucking crazy together. Makes a party.”

“Ah, yes, too bad you got rid of the pool table.” You set your drink down and shuffle on Mark’s lap.

Jaemin frowns. “No, I didn’t—”

“I’m sure you’ve got better stories than that trainwreck,” Chenle joins in.

You’ve been doing relatively well. Honestly, you thought you were making decent progress in getting over Chenle, but his words still sink into your gut and churn there until it turns into anger.

How can you make him hurt the same way he’s hurt you?

A plan forms in your mind, and you hide your smirk with your drink. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch the way his girlfriend is staring at you. Her gaze drags over you as if she’s assessing which parts of you Chenle ever liked.

Well, it’s not like she hasn’t seen them. He only kept them saved for a year.

Time for you to put on a show. You want to piss them both off, and you know exactly how you can do just that.

You lean in to whisper in Mark’s ear. “Does this make you uncomfortable?”

“No, of course not.” He pulls away to look at your face. “You know it doesn’t.”

“Good. Then you know that I want you.”

He smirks. “Keep squirming this much, and you’ll know how much I want you, too.”

Mark gets a little more confident when he drinks, and you enjoy it. He reaches down and squeezes your ass quickly, but all that does is make you move more. The two of you laugh together, and he leans forward like he’s going to kiss you.

“Yo, if you two are gonna fuck, can you at least take it upstairs?” Jaemin throws his empty cup at the two of you, but since it’s a red solo cup, it ends up barely making it half the distance.

Mark’s lips brush your ear. “Kinda like the sound of that.”

You can’t even hide the shiver that runs down your spine. Instead of answering, you slide off his lap and hold your hand out to him. He gets up quickly and wraps his arm around your waist and tugs your back to his front before placing a kiss on your neck. The other boys whoop and holler as he guides you toward the stairs, both of you giggling the entire way.

You look over your shoulder, giggles fading when you catch the glare on Chenle’s face. If looks could kill, you’re sure both you and Mark would be eviscerated by now. He’s almost taunting you, daring you to move forward and go upstairs with Mark. Chenle’s girlfriend is scowling for a different reason, irritation plastered on her face while her arms are crossed over her chest.

After a few seconds like that, Chenle disappears from your view as Mark hand dips to squeeze your ass again. You intertwine your fingers with his and lead him all the way to the end of the hall. The door is unlocked, and the room is empty, so you close it behind you.

Mark smiles as you wrap your arms over his shoulders. You barely take time to appreciate it before you press your lips to his. He hums against your mouth. He walks you backwards, hands on your butt, until the back of your knees hit the mattress.

“You’re sure this is okay?” he mutters, gently kissing down your neck. “I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long.”

Your breath shudders, and you nod. “It’s more than okay.” You refuse to waste anymore time. Reaching beneath his shirt, you nudge it up his body.

He pulls it off in a swift motion, allowing you time to trace your fingers along his muscles. You push him onto the bed, and he backs up until he’s sitting against the headboard. Without hesitation, you join him in taking your shirt off. The lace of your bra is practically non-existent, but he gulps as you climb on top of him.

You guide his hands to your breasts, sighing when he squeezes them. Grinding down on him, you hold onto his shoulders. You feel his hardness through his shorts, and you lunge forward to kiss him. His tongue battles with yours, and you start to slowly lift yourself from his lap and sink back down as if you were riding his cock. Groaning, he kisses you harder, grasping your hips and helping you grind down on him, back and forth in rhythm with the way his mouth clashes with yours.

The straps of your bra fall down your arms and you tilt your head back at the deliciousness of the friction. Mark nips your collarbone, thrusting up to gain more friction.

“Fuck,” he moans. “Want you on my cock so bad.”

“God, me too.” You move faster, your body shaking and heat infiltrating every inch of you. It’s about time you took this step with Mark, and despite the way the glare on Chenle’s face as you went up the stairs with Mark excited you, you know Mark is everything you want.

He unbuttons your shorts, and you lift up to allow him to pull them down. Before his fingers can even latch onto the belt loops, the door slams open. Mark reacts quickly, flipping you over so he covers you with his body until he can get the throw blanket at the edge of it over you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Mark hisses, quickly grabbing his shirt from the floor.

You clutch the blanket to your chest as you let your gaze travel to the door, and when you make eye contact with Chenle, your stomach twists.

“I…” Chenle pauses, glancing between Mark and you. “I don’t know.”

Tears well, but you refuse to let them fall in front of Chenle. You can’t lie and say you weren’t hoping this is what would happen, but now that it’s here, you have two men looking at you for answers.

“You’re a shitty person, you know that?” Mark says to Chenle. “What is she to you? A fucking toy? You think it makes you fucking cool to ditch her and then not want her to be with someone else?”

“What, and you treat her better? You were about to fuck her at a party—”

“Better than fucking her while I still have a girlfriend,” Mark snaps.

“What?” A soft voice sounds from behind Chenle, and he grimaces.

“No, that never happened, I—” Chenle frantically looks to you for support, fear in his eyes as he silently begs you to help him.

But you refuse to. It’s his own fault he’s in this situation.

Footsteps retreat, but Chenle stays put, panic rising as he tries to figure out whether or not he should stay or if he should go after his girlfriend.

“You’ll never fucking be anything to her,” Chenle spits at Mark. “You think she’ll ever think of you the way she thinks of me? She’s mine, and you’re an idiot if you think you stand a chance—”

Mark’s fist connects with Chenle’s jaw, and you scream. Launching up from the bed, you push yourself between them before Chenle can retaliate. You pant as you pull the straps of your bra back up and face Mark, putting your hand up.

“Mark, I—”

“Oh, fucking forget this.” He laughs, slapping his palm to his forehead. “He’s right, isn’t he? No matter what I do, it’ll always be him?”

You take a step forward. “It’s not like that—”

“He just insulted you, and you stood in front of him. You stood in front of him.” The anger on Mark’s face is new to you, and you feel shame prickle in your gut.

“Please, let me—”

“I wasn’t the one throwing punches,” Chenle says. “So it’s not like she had anything to protect you from—”

“Fuck this. I’m done.” Mark pushes past both of you, stopping to turn back and point. “You two are both fucked up. I don’t want to hear from either of you ever again.”

“Mark—” You start to follow him, but Chenle grabs your wrist. Glaring at him, you try to jerk away from him. “You’ve done enough, leave me alone.”

“It’s not…not like that. You’re half-naked, (Y/N), at least get dressed before you follow him.”

You curse loudly, running back into the room to grab your shirt from the floor. Tears blur your vision as you tug on the fabric back on and button your shorts. You try to ignore Chenle’s presence—considering that’s how you got here in the first place—but the emotions become too much.

You fall to your knees at the edge of the bed, Chenle’s form a blur as he moves toward you. Your fists clench into the bedding, and your body shakes as you truly realize what you’ve done.

Chenle’s embrace feels natural, easy to melt into, but you push him away with such force, he sits down on the floor next to you.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss at him. “This is all your fault. Why can’t you just fucking leave me alone?”

“It’s okay,” he replies, nodding. “You should be mad at me. I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what just happened.”

You grip his shoulders and start shaking him. “What’s wrong with you? What happened to you? Where did Chenle go?”

For the first time in months, you see the old him. The one who actually cared for you. Guilt and shame cover his face as he takes in the state you’re in. You eventually become so weak, you crumble. He catches you, stroking the top of your head.

“I’m so sorry.” Chenle squeezes you tightly. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

[sunshinetoshi]

a solid pair

kuroo x reader (<1k words)

content (warnings): fluff

a/n: i was going to wait until kuroo’s bday to post this but i simply -cannot wait- it’s been a fat minute since i’ve written anything more than thoughts into my notes app so if this is bad i will pretend it’s not. self-confidence. also bless romcoms for making me rot for love once more.

“I have a question.”

“I have an answer.”

“What do you want for your birthday?”

His chest rumbles in soft laughter beneath you. He hums in thought before responding, “I’m going to give a kind-of answer because I already know you’re not going to settle with me saying I don’t need anything.”

You nod your head, “You’d be correct. Like give me ideas or a price range that makes you comfy. I have a couple different ideas but I wanted to ask you.” You sat up to give him a proper look in his eyes, “Just amuse me, it’s the first birthday we’re spending together and I want us to both be comfortable with how we celebrate. It’s unknown territory,” you hold a hand out to him like you’re making a deal, “help me out here.”

He grins before pushing your hand out of the way and engulfing you into a hug. “All right give me second.” He rubs small circles into your back. “Hm.. Don’t get me anything fancy, so definitely nothing expensive. But I don’t want to say anything specific. I want to be surprised. Helpful?”

“Just barely,” you huff in a faux dramatic tone, “But yes, helpful.”

“Hey, if you really want an honest answer you could get me a rock and I’d love it.”

“A rock.”

“Yes, a rock.”

“You joke a lot, you know.”

He shook his head, “I’m not joking around, I’d love it and I’d love it because it’s from you.”

———

“Socks?” Your friend stops in their tracks.

You nod without taking your eyes off of the displays you’re scanning, “Mhm, socks.”

“Please explain before I cast judgement.”

“We’re at the mall getting socks because he has said so many times he - quote unquote - loves funky socks. And he’s always wearing a different pair when I see him so why not add to the collection?”

“Funky how?”

“Funky like his favorite pair have cats on it. As in he prefers striped or polka dot socks over plain ones. As in he complains when he has to wear plain ones for fancy events.” You smile remembering the last big meeting he had and the little grumble Tetsurou made as he put his socks on.

“Aw, I guess that’s nice then. Okay you said there was a another part to your gift?”

“Yeah, and if you’re loving this side quest you’re gonna love the next - oh! These! He loves space and these lil guys are way cuter aliens than the other socks.” You hold up the pair for your friend and they laugh in disbelief.

———

You can’t help but join your friend in laughing at yourself.

“You look ridiculous!”

“I feel it too but I need to find a good one. Just stand watch and tell me if anyone’s coming.”

You continue your search, picking out select candidates when you realize after quite a while your friend is no longer giggling at you.

You turn you turn your head and look up at them. Their grin is wide. “What?” you ask, cracking a smile of your own.

“This is too cute.”

“What is?”

“You’re squatting like a kid looking for the perfect rock to give your boyfriend because he said he’d be happy even if you have him a rock for his birthday. You’re like a little penguin and it’s really really cute.”

You give a bashful smile and go back to searching for the perfect one.

———

“Did you get full?” Tetsurou gives your leg a gentle shake from the driver’s seat.

“I did.” You take in the smile on his face. “How’s your birthday so far?”

He shakes his head. “Oh man, a great day at work and a great evening with you with great food? Pretty great.” He gives a cheeky grin.

“Good,” you respond, satisfied with his answer. “But actually I have one more surprise,” you reach down to your jacket on the floor of the passenger seat - where you had been hiding his present.

You hold it out to him and expect him to giddily open it up. But he grabs it with care and takes it in. This was a softer smile than you usually see on him and when he turned to look at you you swear his eyes had a brighter twinkle.

“Thank you, really. I was serious, you didn’t have to get me anything,” he grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m gonna treasure whatever is in this box.”

“See what’s inside first,” you give his hand a squeeze of your own before dropping it so he has both hands free.

He chuckles and begins to untie the ribbon of the box. “Dang,” he lifts the box up closer to the car light above him, “This is a nice box. This is present enough.” Back to his teasing self.

“Open it,” you laugh.

“Okay, okay, but I’m serious. I’m keeping this box. it’s fantastic.” He lifts the lid and after of beat of silence of him processing what he sees he lets out a deep laugh at the rock sitting in the box. “A rock?” He laughs again before looking at you, “I love it.” He lifts it to get a closer look, reading aloud the tiny letters you carefully (stressfully) wrote on one side of the rock.

Happy Birthday Tetsu ♡

He traces over the date and your name you also wrote. He rolls the rock in his hand, tossing it a couple times. “This is like the perfect shape too. You know what, I’m putting this on my desk, that way I can look at it everyday.” He smiles at it once more before reaches over and gives you a big warm hug, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you giggle before bringing his attention back to the box, “there’s more - just a little something.”

He lifts the piece of paper you used to separate the two parts of your gift.

“Socks!” He takes them out and looks at the design on both pairs. “Aw I love them! Hey these are great quality, they’re thick. Look at this one with the little aliens. And this one,” he lifts the other pair, “Is your aesthetic to a T.”

“That’s what I said!” you exclaimed in excitement.

He laughed at the outburst. “Then clearly,” he put each pair on either side of his face, “We’re the perfect pair.”

And maybe it was how he appreciated the small things. Maybe it was how his jokes, though corny, always made you smile. For reasons, emotions, beyond you, you decide then that yes - he’s the one.

hi!! given it’s been almost 2 years since i’ve written anything here i will no longer being doing taglists. ty for reading thooo <3

[trashywritestrash]

Deserve It

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8K

Warnings: ANGST, some physical violence (reader’s wrist is grabbed, reader shoves someone), domestic violence, eddie is an asshole, degrading but not in a sexy way, crying, lots of swearing, self-sabotaging behavior, alcohol use, drug use, like one tiny moment of tough love from Wayne?, it’s a lot of warnings and I honestly might be missing some so if you’re worried you might not be able to handle this please don’t try it

A/N: I know the title sounds a lil ominous but I would like to preface this by saying that there is NO VICTIM BLAMING HERE. We don’t pull that shit in this house

gif by thehumming6ird

You’re friends with Eddie Munson. Steve and Robin will never understand why or how, but he makes you happy, so they quietly accept that fact. But beyond that, you like Eddie Munson. That confession really threw your two co-workers for a loop, but again, they quietly accepted it and listened while you talked about him.

“Eddie and I hung out at his place last night and he forced me to watch the first Star Wars movie and it actually wasn’t that bad. We’re gonna watch the next one tonight. I have to try to remember to stop and get some snacks before I go over so we have something to munch on—“

“Oh my God, Y/N! Could you be any more in love?” Robin groans, tired of hearing both of her friends talk about their crushes and their love lives. “Just tell him already before I lose what little sanity I have left!”

Steve laughs at your pout and Robin’s dramatics. “As much as I hate to agree with Robin—“ The girl in question slaps his arm, causing him to hold his arm with a dramatic gasp. “Rude! As I was saying, you should tell him how you feel. From everything you’ve told us, he clearly likes you. You’ll just have to be the one to man up and say it first.”

“But what if you’re wrong and he doesn’t like me?”

“Then he’s an idiot and you come over and we eat ice cream and watch movies while you cry.” Now it’s Steve’s turn to hit Robin’s arm. “Hey! I’m being honest!”

You crack a grin at your friend's antics and go to say something, but an older woman steps into the store. Robin gives you a look that says ‘this isn’t over’ while you quietly wait for the woman to find what she’s looking for. Only a minute or two later, she comes up to the counter with a friendly smile. You make polite conversation while you ring her up and spot Robin smirking from the corner of your eye.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but do you think you could help us settle a debate?”

The woman laughs but plays along. “Sure. What about?”

Robin grins as she starts to explain your situation to this stranger, “Our friend Y/N here has a crush on her best friend. We are positive that he likes her back, but he’s too scared to make a move. We’ve been trying to convince her that she should just tell him, but she keeps refusing. Do you think she should?” Robin finishes while you groan. Now she’s bringing customers into your silly crush situation? Where does it end?

You go to apologize, but the woman just smiles at you. “I think you should talk to him. You’re young and pretty. He must care for you if you’re close friends. He’d be silly not to. Take it from me; I confessed to my crush when I was about your age.”

“And what happened..?” You ask hesitantly.

She grins, “I married him.”

Steve and Robin look at you expectantly and you sigh. “Fine, I’ll do it! But you two are buying the ice cream and renting Sixteen Candles if it ends badly!”

—————

Meanwhile, Eddie was sitting at the Hellfire table at lunch. Dustin was ranting about something, but Eddie had no clue as to what. He had tuned the freshman out a while ago.

“—Y/N obviously likes you!”

That caught his attention. “What are you going on about?”

Dustin sighs, annoyed that he has to repeat himself. “Y/N is, like, in love with you. Why else would she watch Star Wars? And ask to watch the second? I’ve been trying to get her to watch it for years, but she always says no!”

“That’s because you’re a twerp and you would talk through the whole thing,” Eddie argues, not believing Dustin.

“Dude, she buys you snacks! Even when you don’t ask! She buys the chips you like even though she thinks they’re disgusting! She makes goo-goo eyes at you when you’re not looking! Y/N likes you!”

Eddie frowns, “Shut it, Henderson. You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not about to take lady advice from a kid who has a fake girlfriend.”

The others laugh while Dustin angrily argues that Suzie is real and she’s hotter than Phoebe Cates. But Eddie zones out of the conversation to think about what Dustin said. It was like puzzle pieces were falling into place. The little shit was right; Y/N likes him. Eddie stood from the table without a word and left the cafeteria, then the school. He got into his van and sped off toward the trailer park. He needed something to help with this.

—————

Hours later, you finish your shift at Family Video. You excitedly stop at the party store on the way to Eddie’s trailer, picking up candy and Eddie’s favorite chips (that you hate). Ten minutes later, you knock on his door once before letting yourself in with a spare key. Eddie had given it to you a couple months back, claiming that when he’s smoking in his room he doesn’t hear the door. You assume he must not have heard you this time, but when you step in Eddie is sitting on the couch directly across from the door. He looks completely out of it. “Eddie? Are you okay?”

He doesn’t even look up at you. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. Do you still want to watch the movie tonight? We can do something else if you’re not feeling—“

“I said I’m fine!” Eddie raises his voice and you flinch. He doesn’t notice.

You get a good look at him and your heart drops. The whites of his eyes are now red, and even from a couple feet away, you can smell the alcohol on his breath. If you couldn’t smell it, you’d still see the half-empty bottle of whiskey that sits next to him. Not only has Eddie been drinking, but he’s also been smoking; you know that isn’t a good combination.

“No, you’re not. We need to get you some water and get you to bed.” You insist, trying to help.

This just makes Eddie mad. “Jesus Christ, Y/N! Are you deaf or just fucking stupid?! I said I’m fine!”

You should leave. You should run out of the door now and not look back. But you don’t. “What happened?”

“What happened?” Eddie chuckles, but it sounds wrong. There’s a darkness in it, tainting the sound that you love. “What happened is that I found out my best friend has been keeping secrets from me.” You look confused so he keeps going, “You like me, huh? Have a stupid little schoolgirl crush on the big bad freak? What do you really want? You wanna whore yourself out and run around, tell people you fucked the freak?”

The embarrassment you feel about him knowing you like him is overshadowed by your fear. This isn’t Eddie, this is someone else entirely. “Eddie, you know that’s not what I want. You’re not acting like yourself right now.”

“You don’t know me, Y/N! This is me!” He steps towards you and you step back, your back hitting the edge of his kitchen counter. It presses against your back painfully, but that’s the least of your problems right now. “You’re scared of me now, huh? Just ‘cuz I raise my voice a little and call you out for hanging around me like a slut.”

Your eyes begin to water as he gets closer. It gets harder to breathe and you feel your throat constricting. “Eddie, stop.” The words come out like a broken whisper, which makes Eddie laugh.

“You’re gonna cry now? Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Is that what you wanna hear? I didn’t think you were such a baby.” He almost sounds bored. Like he’s tired of you acting like this.

Eddie is only inches in front of you now. If he was paying attention, he’d notice how you’re trembling. “I want to go home.”

You cry out as Eddie grabs your wrist. His fingers dig into your skin, and you’re positive it’s going to bruise. “No, you don’t! You wanted something when you came here, now you wanna change your mind? Didn’t like what you found?”

It’s all too much. He’s too close, his grip on your wrist is too painful. His voice was too loud. You use your free hand to shove his chest. The alcohol in his system makes him clumsier, so your weak push moves him back. It’s not much space, but it’s enough for you to get through. Once you make it to the door, you turn to face him.

Your tears escape, falling from your eyes and down your cheeks. The salty taste is almost comforting when you speak.

“FUCKING STOP!” You yell, surprising yourself with how clear it is. Your body continues to shake, but your words are stronger now. “I don’t know what your problem is, but back the fuck off! Yeah, I like you, but I’m not gonna stand here and let you treat me like shit because you wanna assume the worst!”

Eddie doesn’t move from his spot, frozen in place. He looks the tiniest bit guilty, but you don’t care. You’re too angry to care. “You don’t get to take your anger out on me like I’m your punching bag! So I’m going home, and you’re going to stay here and sober up. Then after that, you’re gonna lose my number. You’re going to forget my address, you’re not gonna step foot in Family Video ever again, you’re not going to talk to me or even look at me again. Because if this is you, I want no part in it.” You let out a deep breath and your anger subsides slightly. “I like Eddie Munson. I love Eddie Munson. But this is not him.” With that, you slam the door shut behind you and go home.

—————

The next morning greets Eddie with a blinding headache. He can’t move or open his eyes and feels miserable in general. When he finally forces his eyes open, he notices that he’s on the floor right in front of the fridge. He must have gone to grab a beer and passed out on the way.

Eddie spots the bag of snacks that you had brought on the counter and remembers that you were supposed to watch a movie last night. That memory triggers images of the fight. He remembers how he yelled, how he backed you against the counter… Eddie remembers the fear in your eyes, and how he grabbed your wrist and squeezed until you cried. You were terrified of him and he deserved it.

All Eddie could see was the look on your face as he laid on the floor and cried. He stayed like that until Wayne came home hours later. Wayne took pity on him, but Eddie stopped him and told his Uncle everything.

“What do I do?” Eddie asked, desperate for an answer.

Wayne’s expression remained stoic as he stood from the couch. He grabbed a trash can and started throwing every can and bottle of alcohol into it. “You sober up and apologize with your tail between your legs. And if she tells you to fuck off, you do what she says.”

Yeah, Eddie deserves that.

—————

Want more Eddie? Check out my masterlist

If you enjoyed this or would like to read more of my work, please consider liking, reblogging, or tipping my Ko-Fi!

[manygeese]

Look, I love Percy Jackson. I love the movie and board game Clue. Without further ado, I give you

PJO/HoO CHARACTERS AS CLUE PLAYERS

Just gonna do the 7 for now, maybe Yvette and the other npcs later

LEO AS WADSWORTH

Wadsworth is nothing if not a theater kid. He’s got oodles of whimsy and the energy levels to match. And he’s annoying and sassy as hell. Who else is as dramatic, quick witted, and hyperactive as Wadsworth? Leo freaking Valdez. Nobody else’s knees could take all that running around a murder mansion trying to find a murderer. Therefore, Leo Valdez is Wadsworth.

PIPER AS MISS SCARLET

Miss Scarlet is a businesswoman. It just so happens that her business is sex work (and secrets). She’s a murder suspect, she’s a girlboss, her coping mechanism is making jokes, she’s Piper McLean. Not only does Piper’s role as a daughter of Aphrodite fit Miss Scarlet’s profession, Piper would be just as shrewd and stealthy, use everything to her advantage like Miss Scarlet. Therefore, Piper McLean is Miss Scarlet.

FRANK AS COLONEL MUSTARD

Colonel Mustard is a military man, as you can tell from his title. Frank is the son of the god of war. And while the Colonel isn’t particularly good at war (cough war profiteer cough), who better to cast Frank as? I can also see Frank being so caught up in the moment to say some of the stupid things the Colonel does in the movie. Colonel Mustard has some A+ lines. Therefore, Frank Zhang is Colonel Mustard.

HAZEL AS MRS PEACOCK

Mrs. Peacock is a tad bit kooky. Her favorite dish is monkey brain soup. Her husband is an American official. She faints a lot and screams even more. She may or may not be a murderer. I can’t put my finger on it, but Hazel just oozes socially awkward/oblivious and would definitely pull the sort of stuff Mrs. Peacock does in the second ending especially. She’s got that supposedly harmless but actually a serial killer swag. Therefore, Hazel Levesque is Mrs. Peacock.

PERCY AS MR. GREEN

I’m gonna be honest, this is probably the weakest connection but I’m going for it. Mainly because I cast Annabeth as Mrs. White and there’s this one scene in the movie where he offers to show her a supposedly impossible sex position. Percy as Mr. Green + Annabeth as Mrs. White + one weird ass scene=Percabeth. Honestly, I can’t see any of the Seven doing stuff like Mr. Green does it and Percy was the last one I had to cast so. Percy is Mr. Green.

JASON AS PROFESSOR PLUM

He’s gay. He’s timid. He’s named after the color purple. What more could a guy want? Although Jason doesn’t have amazing POVs, I know when a character is meant to be another one and this is a match made in heaven. Professor Plum even sort of looks like Jason’s description in the books. I can SEE Jason as Professor Plum in the movie, I can HEAR him saying “MrS. pEaCoCk WaS a MaN?????” or some dorky shit like that. Jason’s gay, a lil shy, and he loves the color purple. Therefore, Jason is Professor Plum.

ANNABETH AS MRS. WHITE

Mrs. White was tragically widowed… five times. In the immortal words of the woman herself, “Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.” Annabeth has the cunning to get away with five (ALLEGED) murders. Annabeth has that weeping widow, secret murderer energy. She lives a lavish life due to her husband’s being cut short. Also, Mrs. White is one of the funniest characters in the movie, and some of her lines are things Annabeth would say ironically so I’ve connected the dots. Therefore, Annabeth is Mrs. White.

Let me know if you want me to elaborate or cast Nico, Reyna, or anybody else :) I can also draw them as their characters if this gets enough notes soooooooo lemme know if u want that

[tamtamandtim]

Season 3 of Moominvalley (2019) Once again is banger after banger and has honestly become a show that I’ll definitely rewatch again!! (Especially since I now have someone to watch it with!!) P.S THIS IS PROBABLY GONNA BE A PART ONE BECAUSE IM ✨TIRED✨

To be honest I think Jack Rowan as the new voice of Moomintroll is honestly a pretty great choice, he sounds like he took time and grew into himself. With a nice hint of Moominpapa in his tonality (especially when being dramatic) but still is relatively soft spoken and mixes well with the rest of the cast.

God Episode 3 got me in the guts too, seriously what is it with this show and knowing just where to attack me. Little My’s struggle with feeling like one of the family, especially with her father figure is. Once again very relatable considering so when Moominpapa said he loved her, my heart warmed up so much because goddamn I wAnT tHaT…. And seeing the family growing closer together is always a delight!

Stinky going around saying ‘pinch, grab, take, steal’ over and over is so goofy and that Moominmama has/had a bad girl streak feels so appropriate for her. We love a badass, good mama.

I’m honestly shocked that Moomin didn’t immediately go to Snufkin when it came to taking toffle home p.s my partner literally was like

“ah there’s ya boyfriend” (he hasn’t fully watched the show he’s just watching with me now)

I was so hyped for the lonely mountain episode and honestly it was pretty darn great and fruity with just the right amount of pinning!!

“Your wetter than a fishes flannel”

Lil Ma’am w h a t. We lost our minds to that

Jesus Moomin found him so fast like I know Snufkin said where he was staying but like GODDMAN THERE WERE SO MANY MOUNTIANS. I also love how Snufkin immediately was like ‘alrighty let’s warm you up dear ^-^ ‘ and then immediately got overwhelmed. Once again completely understandable, especially since my partner had just moved in the week before we started watching it so we’re learning to co-exist and I’m so glad the Moomin parents were there to save the boys and the possible confession of Snufkin In which way? Who’s to say.

I’ve very much enjoyed this season and I’m super hype for what they have planned next!! I’ll probably post part two tomorrow sometime!! (Also how is this style of formatting?? Please let me know!!) but thank you very much for reading this!! Have a lovely day/night/time!!

[lushaletta]

differences from then and now / george weasley

pairing: george weasley x fem!reader

warnings: smoking cigarettes, swearing

summary: you and george were friends, but apparently friends don’t do what you do.

a/n: i’ve been gone for 2 months but i am here. where’s the applause? KIDDING. i started this like last night and spedran it so i hope it’s up to par even though my writing’s a lil rusty!

⋆ ࣪.  ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.ﾟ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖࣪ ˖࣪ ∗

“Nice night, isn’t it?” George says, cutting through the gloom of silence with a voice that’s sweeter than treacle.

To be honest, you don’t know him all that well anymore. Him talking to you is already a pleasant surprise.

And it’s not that you had a dramatic falling out. It’s not that one of you became an awful person all of a sudden, causing your friendship to crumble. No, it was a slow drift that aging could be blamed for.

“It is.”

He doesn’t say anything to that. Maybe he’s not trying to rekindle something, maybe he just had a bit to drink and you were… around.

You swallow, not wanting the conversation to end. “You, uh, you gonna get back inside?”

“You want me to?” he replies.

“No! I mean, no. I just thought… I don’t know, they’re doing shots in there.”

He takes a drag out of his cigarette, a habit he never had while you knew him. “Soon. Just went out for a smoke.”

You already know it’d be prying, but anything for more conversation material. “That stuff’ll kill you, you know.”

“Or maybe you will,” he mumbles, turning his head away.

This puzzles you. It puzzles you a lot. What does that mean?

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“That was something,” you say, unconvinced.

George shoots a frustrated look at the sky as a low, almost inaudible groan escapes him. “It’s just that you look pretty in your dress. When’d you even get that?”

So he’s also paying attention to your differences from then and now. Who knew.

“Why does it matter? We’re not… friends anymore, George.”

“Were we ever? Is that what we were before? Just friends?”

Your heart skips a beat. A misunderstanding.

It all makes sense now. He’d distanced himself from you when you’d started chatting with another boy in class. God, he’d thought you were more.

“I thought we were just friends.”

He grunts. “How could you think that? Friends don’t look at each other the way we do. Friends don’t act the way we do.”

It’s the angriest you’ve ever seen him, and his cigarette’s been put out and his hands are in his hair.

“I’m sorry,” is all you can manage. You feel bad for not saying more, but what’s there to say?

“No! I’m fucking sorry for not telling you how much I wanted to fucking kiss you on all those nights we were alone and laughing. I’m fucking sorry for not telling you how much I wanted to fucking murder Field when he flirted with you. I’m fucking sorry for not telling you how much I fucking love you.”

“Do you still want to?”

“What?”

“Kiss me?”

It takes one flicker to your lips before he grabs your face, tasting and smelling awfully like smoke, a scent you usually hate but can’t help but adore as of right now.

And god, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel criminally right to be kissing on Lee Jordan’s porch at a party where anyone could walk out and see.

You pull away to catch your breath. Though your lips being pressed against his feels infinitely better, you decide.

“I’ve missed you,” you say.

You figure out that he has too. A lot.

[the-bloody-sadist]

I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t really like NSFWhump at first, so I was horrified by your blog. But after a few months in the whump community I was like, “Dazai with a chain shoved up his ass? Fuck yeah”

Your art is really good and I love Sinner!

Some of you are so innocent huh 🥹 *gently holds your lil noggin*

I’ll admit I’m just as happy knowing someone felt an emotion as strong as horror seeing my work just as much as a positive one. I might like horror better, actually. Growing up around people who were so emotionally stale that nothing I did could create a reaction, it’s a relief. Now I’m addicted to it. They couldn’t even muster a reaction when awful things happened to me irl.

Please, be horrified, be awestruck! As long as it’s not pure disgust, as long as you feel something vapid and loud and overwhelming….! Then I’ve done my job, and I am happy!

(That was dramatic but what I mean is thank you 🥰 keep feeling!)

[yeehawbvby]

Falling Away With You | Ch. 33

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Seb's plotting something. 👀 You also make some new acquaintences.

Author’s Note: After the small continuation of last week’s chapter, this one’s got a small time skip (like, a few weeks at most) and serves mainly as set-up for what’s to come. I like it a lot ^^ I hope you do too! Take care x

Edit: This was written and posted way before 1.6 was released, so I have no idea if the event CA added is at all similar to what I wrote in this chapter and the next one. Just wanted to give y’all that heads up ^^ (and pls don’t give any spoilers, I have yet to experience that for myself!!)

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev | Next

Seb and I watched It Howls in the Rain first during our lil’ horror marathon, followed by Midsommar, because Seb’s never seen it. It’s still just as beautifully fucked up as I remember it being. It’s his turn to pick a movie again, and while he’s searching for our next watch on his new laptop, a thought pops into my head.

“We should go on a date.”

He looks at me with a grin briefly before turning back to the screen. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah! We haven’t been on, like, a ~proper~ one, y’know?” 

Seb pauses his fingers and furrows his brows in thought. “That’s true… I hadn’t really noticed, to be honest.” He looks at me. “You have anything in mind?” 

“Not really,” I shrug.

Narrowing his eyes, it looks like Seb has an idea after a beat of thought. He doesn’t say it though. “I’ll take care of it.”

“O-oh?”

“Oh!” He looks back at his screen, determinedly scrolling while avoiding the question. “I’ve got our next one.” 

I giggle at the enthusiasm, then dramatically whine at his pick. “Tremors?”

“What’s wrong with Tremors?!” 

“Sooo corny…” 

“In a good way!”

I sigh. He almost sounds offended, so I’ll give him this one. He’s allowed to like one of the cheesiest horror films I’ve ever seen if he wants to. “Yeah, I guess so. If we’re both still down for another after this I’m picking something corny too, then.” 

“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes. Seb leans down to kiss my forehead, and before he can fully pull back, I meet his lips with mine. 

Situating myself back against Seb’s chest, I nod at the screen. “Start it up, nerd.”

______________

Sebastian > you busy tonight?

< I’ve been doing some work at Magnus’ place but I can dip if you need

< why, what’s up 👀

Sebastian > think you can be over here by like 6?

< sure, need me to bring anything?

Sebastian > warm clothes and Cannoli

Sebastian > mom’s gonna look after him later on

< wym, what’s going on?

Sebastian > it’s a surprise :)

< love how vague you’re being ;—;

< but *fine,* i’ll be there 

I get up from the cozy, velvety couch, popping a bookmark into the big doozy of a read I was working through, and I set it on the shelf before heading upstairs.

Magnus and I still have yet to really do much aside from studying and whatever, but we’ve been seeing each other a bunch more for my training and shit over the past few weeks. Lotta reading, potion brewing, and creepy hikes into the woods for meditation and spellcasting practice. We tried some teleportation too, but I just can’t get the hang of it. 

It’s been exhausting, but it’s really fun!

We also haven’t gotten jiggy, as Seb called it. Just because there are feelings there and I have Seb’s permission doesn’t mean I’m trying to rush into anything. I haven’t even told Magnus about my agreement with Seb yet, either. Don’t want him to feel pressured. 

Plus, I mean… the whole will we/won’t we has also been exhausting yet fun, in its own way.

As I trek to the entrance of Magnus’ main room, I hear a feminine voice that I don’t recognize. It’s deep and sultry, having a little bit of a lilt to it, but she talks with an overabundance of enthusiasm. I didn’t know Magnus had company besides me... I peak my head around the corner, not showing myself fully yet. Wanna get a feel for the atmosphere before barging in.

Magnus is leaned against one of the counters near his cauldron with his arms crossed against his chest, mostly hidden by his black cloak. His ankles are lazily crossed below him, and he’s nodding along to a woman in front of him. His face seems riddled with concern. Can’t tell if it’s a more serious discussion than it sounds like, or if he’s just pissed about something.

The woman is tall — like, Seb’s height, probably — with pointed ears poking past her long, pin-straight, golden-blonde hair. Her skin is fair, and she’s wearing a velvety and form-fitting black gown with flared long sleeves. She has a gorgeous figure, jeez. The fit is topped off by a textbook stereotype of a witch’s hat: big, pointy, and black, with a purple ribbon around the base.

She was talking very animatedly, using her hands to emphasize certain words, up until now. She suddenly came to a halt. 

Magnus’ eyes widen as they dart towards me, and I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows and tilts his head upward just a bit. It looks like he’s holding back from saying something – maybe a warning? – and the witch in front of him continues to stand still.

My own eyes widen, then flicker between him and the woman as my brows furrow. 

“What’s up?” I silently mouth at him. Next thing I know, the witch vanishes. I flinch, not having expected such an abrupt exit. 

“Oh, you’re a cute one, aren’t you?” 

“HOLY SHIT!”

Nearly pissing myself, I pivot my body to the source of the voice that just murmured into my ear.

Here stands the woman that was just with Magnus a second ago, observing my shorter figure behind ocean blue eyes and a coyly tilted noggin. She has a beauty mark under her left eye, but it looks drawn on, unlike my friend’s. Her painted lips, a deep purple on the top and lighter on the bottom, are framing a toothy grin. She’s taking me in like an animal would their prey.

God, she’s super hot…

“Oh, you think so?” Her heavily lined and shadowed eyes redden into the same deep shade Magnus’ do when he’s feeling things.

“Damnit,” I groan under my breath, burying my face in my hands as I realize there’s another telepath in my life now. “Please get out of my head…”

I hear Magnus nearing us as she lifts my reddening face from my hands and into hers, turning it a bit. “That’s no fun,” she tuts as she inspects me. Literally treating me like an object…

“Camilla.” Ohhh, it’s her! That makes sense. ”Release her,” he sternly commands. Whoa. Hearing him talk like that about me makes my tummy flip.

“So protective,” she cheekily responds with an eye roll. “Is this that little apprentice you told me so much about?”

Free from the lady’s grasp, I look at Magnus, feelin’ a little tickled that he told his least-favorite colleague about me. Still antsy though, my hands fidget with the ends of my hair.

“That would be her,” he sighs, his angry red glare softening as he looks at me. As he comes to a halt diagonally from me, he provides a formal introduction. “(Y/n), this is Camilla.” He noticeably stiffens again as he looks towards his colleague.

Hearing her voice, I focus back on the blonde. “Razzy has spoken very fondly about your work.” 

“R-Razzy?” I do my best to egg him on, brain-to-brain, now that I’ve gotten a bit better at that. 

I still can’t read people's minds, and might never be able to; but I’ve all but mastered the art of invading ‘em with dialogue, at the very least. 

My orbs and grin both widen as I slowly turn towards Magnus. He looks down at me beneath fiery red irises. I’ve never seen him so angry.

…I’m sorry but he looks sooo hot like this holy fuck.

“Don’t you dare…” 

Oh god, he sounds hot too!

I gnaw my lip, my smile probably looking more menacing now as I ready myself to eventually test out the nickname. 

“He says you’re quite promising. Very intriguing, considering how green you are,” Camilla continues skeptically, seemingly none the wiser about my private discussion with the wizard. “Even brought you up at the last council meeting.”

“Oh! Seriously?” My head whips between them.  “Magnus,” I address him, my eager eyes landing back onto his. “That’s, like, a huge deal, no?” 

From everything he’s told me about the council, I’ve concluded that they sound intense. Very private in their affairs, but more reputable than most magical associations out there, essentially serving as Ferngill’s arcane overseers. They work with The First Slash, too – masters in their own field – putting their differences in methodology aside to focus on keeping the republic safe. 

If I’m on their radar, that would mean huge things for my arcane career, I guess? Feels weird to put it like that, but it would be accurate at that point.

“It is.” Magnus’ lopsided smile looks proud as he adds, “They’re quite impressed with what you’ve accomplished, my de—“ he clears his throat before correcting himself. “(Y/n). I was waiting to inform you, alas—“

“‘My deeear,’ perhaps…?” Camilla quietly and curiously puts it together, tapping her chin.

D-does… does he not usually call people that? I feel my cheeks tingle a bit just at the thought that the title might solely be reserved for me.

Magnus sighs, seeming annoyed. Camilla then announces, “My business here is done. I’ll let you two enjoy yourselves,” she purrs with a wink in my direction. 

My (e/c) eyes bulge while my cheeks darken further, both at the implications and at how pretty she looked doing that oh my GOD.

In a naught attempt to stop her, Magnus calls after the witch. “C-Camilla, we’ve yet to discuss—” He exhales in defeat, “Aaand she’s gone.” 

Poofed away just as quickly as she has when she teleported behind me.

“She’s… a lot.” I wave my hands a little to shake out the stress of that interaction. 

“Indeed she is, that blasted woman... Brimming with talent, but positively infuriating.”

I lean back against the wall, careful not to trip over or tilt the potted tree at my side. With my fingers clasped behind me, I inspect the wizard. Failing to hide a grin. 

“What’s the matter?” he asks.

“…Nothing, Razzy.” I wiggle my eyebrows for added effect. 

Magnus fucking growls as his eyes shift to a bright crimson again. Oh my god. Oh my GOD. “I wasn’t joking,” he confirms. 

“N-neither am I,” I squeak and stutter. The unfortunate wombo-combo. I look down and scrunch my nose. “Shit,” I laugh hushedly to myself. 

Since our discovery those few weeks ago, there’s been a drastic increase in flirtatiousness between the two of us. I’d say every time we meet, we get one step closer to… uh. Getting jiggy. God damnit Sebby. The dude completely infected my brain with that phrasing.

There are more passing touches now. For example, Magnus will sometimes absentmindedly play with my hair as we work together, even tucking it away for me if it falls into my vision. Likewise, I might catch myself looping my digits through his as we walk to our training sites, when he opts not to teleport us.

There’s also been an increase in lingering eyes and stolen glimpses, both of us often getting caught in the act of checking the other out.

Magnus even says and does shit just to try and fluster me now. Random compliments here and there. Some innuendos where he can afford to sneak ‘em in. Faint goosebump-inducing whispers against my ear, as he watches me brew a potion or whatever.

Can’t tell if it’s the spirits at work with their partner in time bullshit or if it’s just me, but it’s getting harder to resist him every fucking day. 

All that to say, I’m especially feeling it right now. 

In the present, it’s Magnus’ turn to form a mischievous grin. His eyes darken and scan me and he draws near, my face and ears burning up.

“Everything alright? You sounded a tad disheveled, for a moment.” 

Magnus stops just barely in front of me as I nod my answer at him. 

“How uncharacteristically timid of you,” he quietly coos, bending down a little to accommodate for our height difference, and taking my chin in his hand. “Cat got your tongue?”

Oh come on, bro! That should not have been as hot as it was.

I squeak again, fuck, shaking my head as my vision trails away from Magnus’ prying eyes. My heart’s beating so frickin’ hard. Yoba, I wanna kiss his stupid smirking lips…

“Um,” I breathe. I clear my throat before murmuring, “I just came up to see if you wanted to go over anything else.” Good, straight to the point, (y/n). Don’t wanna bust a move just yet. “I’ve gotta head out early today.” 

I finally meet the elemental’s gaze again, and after a moment of visible contemplation while his eyes simmer to maroon, he shakes his head. “No, I won’t keep you if you’ve other affairs to attend to.” 

“Cool,” I smile as he backs up a bit, returning the expression. 

I take note of the way my cheek follows his hand for a split second while it draws away from me, and mentally scold myself. Unfortunately, I’m also made very aware that Magnus noticed it too. He hums out a soft laugh at me for it.

I make my way to the door, grabbing my jacket and tossing it on. “Any wild and crazy plans for you tonight?”

“But of course,” Magnus plays along, escorting me the few feet I traveled. “In fact, I’m already fashionably late for a mixer with some shadow people.”

“As if you’d willingly go to a mixer,” that term feels outdated somehow, “ya hermit.” After slipping my boots over my feet, I kneel to tie them.

“I would!” Magnus defends. “I jest now, but shadow people tend to have a playful vigor that I often find hard to turn down.”

“Sounds like it would be more fun to go to a shadow person party than a human party…”

”Indeed it is,” he chuckles. “Much less chaotic, believe it or not. Little Krobus holds one in their sewer every Spirit’s Eve — Festival of the Mundane, they call it.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Mhm.” Nodding and helping me up, Magnus continues, “They dress as how most mundane do, similarly to how the mundane wear costumes in poor resemblance to elementals during the holiday.” 

I try imagining it, and can’t help the brief fit of giggles I break into. I can just imagine a bunch of blobby, ink-black, vaguely human-shaped figures dressed as the citizens of Pelican Town, pretending to be us. Dancing like Emily, maybe trying to skateboard like Sam or jump rope like Jas…

“That’s so adorable, oh my god.”

“It is. I could consult Krobus about bringing you this year, if you’d like. You’ll need a convincing disguise, as many of their friends won’t take so kindly to a mundane in their presence, but I’m sure Krobus themself would be delighted to meet you.”

I nod enthusiastically. Even with how socially anxious I get, I’m so obsessed with the idea of befriending a shadow person, now that I know they’re not all that terrible. 

After patting myself down to make sure I have everything, I put two dorky thumbs up for Magnus. “See you soon, wizard.”

Snorting as he sees me out, Magnus responds, “Until next time, mortal.”

______________

I’ve really gotta get a cat carrier of sorts. 

I’m trekking my way to Seb’s house, trying to balance a tote on one shoulder, a backpack around both, and a very wily Cannoli in my arms. 

He doesn’t wanna be held right now, but I don’t have a leash or anything that would ensure he doesn’t just run off somewhere. He’s perfect when it comes to staying on the farm despite technically having the freedom to go wherever, so it makes me wonder if he isn’t comfortable to be outside and off familiar territory.

“Just a little longer,” I mumble against his head. 

It’s starting to get dark earlier now, so I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear a rustle in a nearby berry bush. Cannoli and I both stop and stare at it, expecting the worst. Why now, with my cat on me, is something freaky happening? C’mon, man…

The bush rustled again, and a short, stocky figure pops out. 

Cannoli and I yelp. 

Then, the figure does as well. We’re all solidified in place for a moment before it takes a step towards me, just barely lit by a nearby lamp.

I breathe a sigh of relief, realizing it’s just Linus. 

Huh… I’m having a lot of interactions with people I’ve never, like, actually spoken to lately.

“Oh— I didn’t mean to startle you!”

Giving Cannoli some comforting neck scratches, I shake my head. “No, it’s fine! I just didn’t expect to run into anyone out here.” 

“I often do my foraging during the daytime, but it’s tougher once we get to the colder months,” Linus casually explains while picking some blackberries from the outer branches of his nearest shrub. “Sorry if I’m in your way”

“Not at all, I’m just passing through,” I smile. “D-do you forage often?” I timidly ask, genuinely curious. I’ve always wondered about the quality of all these wild berries, but haven’t had the balls to just pick and eat any of ‘em.

“It’s how I feed myself.” I frown, and the man quickly assures me, “I live the way I do by choice. I hope you won’t take pity on me.”

“Oh! I didn’t mean for it to seem that way.” I shake my head again. “I didn’t know that, though, it sounds pretty neat.”

“I agree,” he calmly smiles. 

He has the same soothing and friendly aura my grandpa did… it’s really nice. No wonder he and Magnus get along so well. 

“Anyone can learn to survive in the wild. I think we all have the hidden urge to return to nature,” he says, “It’s just a little scary to make the leap.”

I nod. “For sure. It’s really intimidating.” 

“It’s rewarding if you can adapt.” He moves onto a new bush before beginning his goodbye. “Sorry to cut this short, but I need to gather as much as I can before it gets too dark.”

“Sure, no worries.” I start to walk again, offering him a good night. 

“Thank you, young friend.” Aw! “You as well.”

As we part ways, I wonder if Linus’d be interested in a home cooked meal every here and there. I imagine that even if he lives in the wild by choice, he might still appreciate something warm and made with care from time to time.

As I emerge from the backwoods and stumble down the hill to Seb’s, Robin is heading out of the house. Perfect. I barely have the hands to be able to open it myself right now. 

“Oh, hey there!” She waves, holding the door open for me.

“Hello!” I wave at her with Cannoli’s paw, jogging lightly to catch up. “I have no idea what Seb’s plan is, but thanks for offering to look after this little guy.”

“Me neither, just said you two might be out late.” She pats Cannoli, then me. I despise the content sigh I let out as her palm reaches my scalp. “Just make sure the lab’s locked up before you let the cat loose anywhere.”

I give Robin a curt nod. “You got it ma’am.”

“Have fun, ya rascals.” She makes sure to scruff up my hair a bunch before departing.

I snort and roll my eyes. “Yeah, you too.”

When I’m heading down to Seb, I once again make eye contact with Maru. This time she’s leaving the lab, rather than working inside of it. I can’t wave back this time because cat, so I give her a smile and hope my point gets across.

Once I’m at the bottom of the steps, I tap the door with my foot. “Oy, help!” 

“Comin’,” I hear Seb shout from the other side.

When he opens the door, Cannoli practically pounces on him from my grasp. Seb lets out a tiny yelp.

“What the hell, dude!” I look up at Seb. “You okay?” 

As he pries Cannoli’s claws out of the fabric of his hoodie, he nods, laughing. “Yeah, just scared me.” In a quieter voice, he holds the fuzzball’s face up to his. “Hello to you too, fucker,” he mutters before giving the cat a kiss on the nose. He’s so adorable. 

“Spill it, nerd,” I command dramatically as I plop all my stuff down and shut the door. “Where we goin’?”

“Not big on surprises, eh?” 

“I like surprises!” I frown, “I just wanna know what I’m getting into so I can mentally prepare.”

“Sounds pretty anti-surprise, if ya ask me.”

“Well, I wasn’t asking.” I tap my head and waggle my eyebrows.

“Fair,” he laughs, setting Cannoli down. As I take out a toy for the little guy to occupy himself with, Seb starts to explain his plan. “So, you know about the Night Market, yeah?”

“I think so…?” I furrow my brows, trying to rack my brain for distant memories. “Is that the thing with the boats and shit?”

“Yeah, it is. It’s usually out here, like, mid-January-ish. Buuut they’re set up on land in Calico this week,” he grins. “They have food stalls and games and shit, too. S’like a little carnival. More room for them to set up in the desert than over at our docks, I guess.” He fidgets with his nail polish a bit, shyly continuing, “It sounds like something you might like, so I figured we could go check it out…?” 

I’m fucking beaming. That sounds so fun!

“Hell yeah, dude!” I nod enthusiastically. “This is gonna be sick.”

“Thank fuck,” he mutters to himself. “I’ve never really done any proper dates before, wasn’t sure if I planned it right.”

“What do you mean? You’ve had exes besides Sam, no?” 

“Eh, kinda?” He shrugs. “Did a lot more messing around than actual dating.”

“Getting jiggy?”

“Precisely.” He reaches for my hair. “Here, you’re a looking a little skrungly.”

“Ugh, I forgot about that.” I lean into Seb’s touch. “Your mom gave me a new ‘do on her way out.”

“She did a shit job.”

“At least she knows how to do her own nicely.”

Seb’s lips curve up, as if fondly thinking of her. Makes me feel fuzzy. “Yeah, I’m thankful she passed her good hair genes down to me.”

“…How mad would you be if I told you she’s just as much of a MILF as Jo—“

He stops running his fingers through my hair mid-stroke and tugs. Mmm. A serious look suddenly plasters his features. “I will break up with you.”

Damn. I know it’s a bluff, given the grin he’s very clearly trying to hold back, but I ain’t takin’ any chances. I don’t shy away from casting him a shitty smile. “Gotcha.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Ruster pt.3 & Bea

Rio: Sorry for hanging up

Buster: [the longest pause ever to the point you’d assume he’s already back on his bullshit and isn’t gonna reply but really he’s just had a lil drunk pass out and now he’s back in the room after however long it takes hence proving he also needed a minute and that’s why he’s saying what he does]

Buster: Don’t be

Rio: Okay, yeah, I’m not sorry at all

Buster: Good

Rio: In a word

Buster: Are you ready to put words to it?

Rio: You can’t have already forgot how many words I put to it

Buster: I meant better adjectives, unless I’ve made you forget what those are and how many others you know

Rio: Hm, well you are yet to completely reprogram me

Rio: all of that was just what I already wanted, believe it or not 

Buster: I’m not struggling to believe you got what you wanted

Rio: You too, don’t lie

Buster: Me too

Rio: I can’t believe that just happened

Rio: did it?

Buster: I’m in bed, perhaps I dreamt it

Rio: Alone?

Buster: [the name of his childhood toy lion, shoutout to you sir] doesn’t count

Rio: Let me see him

Buster: [take a pic that you’re shamelessly also in because an excuse to be that he’s obviously gonna take]

Rio: Stop 🥺

Rio: he’s so cute

Buster: [a mem of you losing him somewhere as a kid or my boo’s of Ted’s head getting ripped off, we know the vibes, cos remember when, he’d have been fuming in either scenario and she’d have been helpful in either scenario]

Rio: I’m happy you still have him

Rio: does Nancy have [whatever her equivalent was whether it was a lion or otherwise, which I tell you the answer is a firm no]?

Buster: [tell her about however and whenever Nancy decided to get rid of her equivalent toy because everything she does is dramatic and this would’ve been too]

Rio: Oh, that’s sad

Rio: maybe I need to get rid of some of my old things, I don’t want to live in a museum of myself but I could never get rid of [whatever your tiger is called]

Buster: Donate some to the baby, Ava had [whatever you decided to give her when she was born because you’re not the heartless bitch you pretend to be and you’re drunk enough still to reveal that well known fact]

Rio: That’s a good idea, yeah

Rio: you were always so sweet with her

Buster: We couldn’t both make her life hell, one of us had to be or she wouldn’t stand a chance

Rio: And she was pretty cute, you can be honest

Buster: Alright, alright, I admit it, she’s an exception to the ugly newborn rule

Rio: 😊

Buster: But it’s fine, you can’t tell her I said so

Rio: As if I would

Rio: and I’m hiding right now, no one can see me 😊

Buster: Let me see you

Rio: [send him an adorably flustered selfie, whether you’re in the flat, if that’s currently empty or in the cellar or anywhere else where you could feel comfortably left alone for as long as you want here]

Buster: You’re properly hiding

Rio: I didn’t want to have to talk to anyone else

Buster: Do you think they’re looking for you yet?

Rio: Hope not

Rio: I can’t hear anyone calling me

Buster: You’d definitely hear Grace, no question

Buster: Nance as well

Rio: Quite the pairing there

Buster: [make some kind of comment re the suits and pairs of cards that I cannot because I literally don’t understand poker however many times my father and brother have tried to make me, soz we’re lowkey calling you flops with this but where’s the lie]

Rio: Such a cute nerd

Buster: I can’t decide which word is more offensive

Rio: You can’t be offended when all I can think about is that I never want to hear my name again unless you’re saying it

Buster: Excellent save

Rio: ⚽️🥇

Rio: but I mean it

Buster: When did you last watch me play?

Rio: God

Rio: years ago, you weren’t on the team you are now

Buster: Which means you’ve as good as never seen me, I didn’t have any of the skills I do now

Rio: You wouldn’t want me there cheering you on from the sidelines

Buster: You’d lose your voice

Rio: Really?

Buster: By the time I’d scored my [whatever her lucky number was/is if it hasn’t changed from when she was younger] goal for you

Rio: Your kit is really nice colours…

Buster: There isn’t a colour that doesn’t look nice on you

Rio: I would hate to distract you

Buster: You’d hate to be in the audience for a fight

Rio: I would cry if you got hurt

Buster: I don’t, I’ve set a record at my gym for the number of rounds gone without getting hit

Rio: Wow

Rio: you promise you’re not just being brave?

Buster: Truth, I promise

Rio: Then maybe I would like to be there

Buster: Wearing [whatever those colours are]

Rio: I am proud of you like that

Buster: [tell her the date of your next fight because they aren’t gonna be as often as football matches, it’s more of a big deal and we’re in the fantasy again rn]

Rio: I’m going to come

Rio: do your parents come to your fights?

Buster: They’re [doing something for work clearly] for that one

Buster: but they come as often as they can

Rio: You need someone to fill in then

Buster: I need you cheering me on

Rio: Isn’t going to be hard for me, how often you win

Buster: I’ll speak for you if you can’t talk

Rio: I will get carried away with getting to be as loud as I want about you

Buster: Show me how loud you can be

Rio: I already missed you

Rio: my head is all you

Buster: I’ll show you how safe you are, no matter what

Rio: No one else worries about me as much as you

Buster: [an anecdote that’s giving some little boy being mean to her and making her cry when they were younger and him stepping in]

Buster: I was taught I should, to take responsibility for you when the adults weren’t around

Rio: I’d want a son just like you

Rio: you make me feel that small, still

Buster: Promise you won’t have a son like anyone else

Buster: especially not [the boy we hate from before]

Rio: I promise

Rio: you promise to be there, to teach him 

Buster: And to take care of both of you

Rio: [a voicenote ‘please’ because we know you are shook to your core rn]

Buster: But not yet

Buster: when you’re older, so you don’t miss out on anything

Rio: It wouldn’t feel like missing out, not with you

Rio: but we need to be alone first, we’ve got time to make up for

Buster: You wouldn’t want to be jealous of your own kid

Rio: No, that’d be so mean

Rio: I am so jealous when it comes to you already

Buster: It needs to be perfect, your future, then I won’t worry for you

Rio: You think I have one really, right

Buster: You could be or do anything you want

Buster: I told you, you’re so smart

Rio: I just want to make my own money, so I can live how I want and give my family the best, that’s it

Buster: An achievable goal, however many kids you have

Rio: I’m undecided on that front

Buster: I’ve never thought about it before

Rio: I used to, when I was younger, I wanted lots and lots

Buster: More than your mum?

Rio: Yeah

Rio: I had names and everything

Buster: Tell me

Rio: [do tell him all 10 names you thought of as a lil girl because you absolutely would you were so that girly, you probably thought you could get a totally even split too, giving perfect family vibes]

Buster: Another 1 and you’ve got a family football team

Rio: Okay, you choose

Buster: Well, that’s blatantly obvious

Buster: you should name him after me

Rio: After his daddy

Rio: the favouritism would be too blatant

Buster: Is that why you didn’t choose it?

Rio: That’s why I stopped thinking about it for a while, when I realised they aren’t allowed to be yours

Rio: then I wasn’t so sure if it was what I wanted 

Buster: Like my American wife

Rio: Exactly

Buster: You’d be too good of a mother not to though

Rio: I just had it all planned out with you

Rio: but you’ll be a very good husband too, even if it drives me slightly insane

Buster: I can’t make you watch me

Rio: Would it be so bad to be us in secret

Rio: you still get everything else you want

Buster: Would you want your mum to do that, in a world where Johnny’s wife had stayed?

Rio: If she wanted to, I think so

Rio: doing the whole family and partner thing with anyone else didn’t make her any happier

Buster: What about the baby?

Rio: That complicates things

Rio: you probably shouldn’t make children be a part of secrets

Rio: even if it’s a nice one, and plenty of dads aren’t in the home full time anyway, still…

Buster: Yeah

Rio: It’s not even illegal, it’s just about what people will think

Buster: And say to your kid’s face

Rio: You understand that better than most

Buster: I know that’s at least partly why Nance is how she is

Buster: you don’t want a daughter like her

Rio: She’ll see one day, what matters, when it’s less of an issue, real life keeps people busier than school, if you live right

Buster: But she won’t live right, not with her fucked priorities

Rio: There’s still time for her to change

Buster: She thinks you exist for her entertainment, that it’s fun

Rio: I know, I can tell she doesn’t properly care

Buster: I’m sorry I told her

Rio: I sort of expected it

Rio: you’re trying to stop me talking to you, liking you

Buster: My anger just takes over everything, before I can stop it

Rio: Bringing her on side was, in theory, a good idea to get her to stay with you

Rio: she obviously wanted all that real-time gossip too badly though

Buster: She truly doesn’t care, if I didn’t I could have you

Rio: It’s good that you do

Rio: even if I want that, I can’t say you shouldn’t

Buster: It doesn’t feel good

Rio: It doesn’t

Buster: There’s no comparison to being on the phone with you, or to lying here talking now

Rio: Nothing is you

Rio: I just so badly want to make it okay

Buster: I hate the powerlessness of not knowing how I can fix this, I always find solutions, figure out what my best options are, end up getting what I want

Rio: Me too

Rio: I didn’t know I was that spoilt, that this one thing could unravel me if I couldn’t have it 

Buster: I’ve failed this time, when it matters the most to me

Rio: We can’t

Rio: if we can’t live without each other then we will just have to work it out, there’s no other option, yeah?

Buster: We can’t give each other the futures we want

Rio: I want you

Buster: You want a family, yours not just the one that we’d try and make as a replacement, we aren’t nan and granddad

Rio: Don’t, don’t start telling me what I want again

Buster: Don’t start lying to me

Rio: I’m not

Buster: I’ve never met anyone else as family-orientated as you, you even care about your dad and other nan, you reached out to the kids he probably doesn’t remember the names of

Rio: Don’t I ever get to make a decision for me

Buster: I can’t let you chose me over all of them, hate me because you did

Rio: I’ll never hate you

Buster: You might be hated by people you love

Rio: No one who loves me would hate me for being happy

Rio: not even Edie actually hates mum for this, not really, that’s not how it works

Buster: I know how it works, my parents lived it

Buster: and it isn’t even the same

Rio: Who hates them?

Buster: Okay, maybe hate is a strong word

Buster: but I need you to understand

Rio: I do, I just don’t think it has to be this way

Buster: I want them to be proud of me, not because I followed in their footsteps and selfishly said fuck it, but because I really did something

Rio: Okay

Buster: If we do this, we’re freaks and outcasts

Rio: I understand

Rio: I can’t take that away from you

Buster: I can’t put those labels on 10 kids, or be the reason they aren’t born at all

Rio: I was only a kid

Rio: forget it

Buster: I was only a kid when I decided to become a lawyer, I’m still going to

Buster: I know you

Rio: You knew me

Buster: I know you, Rio

Rio: Like I said, forget it

Buster: Like I said, no

Rio: There’s no point

Rio: I’m not going to be anyone to you, you aren’t going to be anyone to me

Buster: You’re the love of my life, that’s the fucking point

Buster: you deserve better than this, everything you want

Buster: all or nothing, no bullshit compromises

Rio: It doesn’t get to be both

Buster: Exactly, if you have to give up as much as I’m able to give you, we shouldn’t be together

Rio: No

Rio: I’ve told you what I want, you don’t want it

Rio: so I’m not the love of your life, you don’t get to say it

Buster: You’re 14, of course you don’t want a baby now

Buster: and sneaking around sounds really fun

Rio: Jesus

Rio: yeah so are you so don’t talk to me like that

Buster: It’ll get harder, the older we are and longer it’s been

Buster: to stop

Rio: So stop, go

Rio: I’ve said I understand, what else do you want from me

Buster: Listen to me

Rio: You want me to act like you’re doing me a massive favour, I’m not going to do that

Buster: So what are you going to do?

Rio: I haven’t got a clue

Rio: because I don’t know what I want now

Buster: You need to, we can’t undo crossing a line

Rio: We already have

Rio: it just happened when we were wasted for plausible deniability for you

Buster: Not publicly we haven’t

Rio: When were we ever going to

Buster: We weren’t going to keep it a secret for the rest of our lives, that’s ridiculous

Rio: So you’ve said

Buster: Fine, it’s all my fault

Rio: I’m not blaming you, I’m just not agreeing with you

Buster: You are

Rio: People have successful affairs, you’re acting as if it’s impossible

Buster: People who don’t look further than an hour ahead, like you

Rio: No, people have second families turning up to funerals, being found on DNA searches

Rio: your worldview is so damn narrow, it’s not all cliche workplace romances and au pairs, thank you

Buster: A second family isn’t aspirational, regardless of how undetected it is or isn’t

Buster: I don’t define success as managing to get away with giving you half of me

Rio: I didn’t say you have to have one, just that it does happen

Buster: We can’t just wing this and see how it goes, the stakes are too high

Rio: You can’t do it

Rio: You’ve explained yourself perfectly by this point

Buster: And you’ve said your piece

Rio: I guess so

Buster: We fundamentally don’t and won’t agree, at least we know that now

Rio: Wow, yeah, what a lucky escape for you

Buster: That’s the reality, we’ll never work outside of fantasy

Rio: Thanks for clarifying

Buster: You’re welcome, babe

Rio: Ha

Rio: Have a nice night then

Buster: I’ll do my best

Rio: You can even be smug about that, like you’re doing something so much more mature than [xyz drugs] with your friends

Buster: Do you want me to act my age or don’t you?

Buster: Make up your mind

Rio: You make up yours

Rio: are you above it all or are you not?

Buster: Do you like me taking responsibility for you or don’t you?

Rio: Is that a serious question?

Buster: It isn’t a trick question, either I care what happens to you or I don’t

Buster: you can’t have it both ways

Rio: It is a trick question because you can’t do it, we’ve been over it

Buster: I am doing it, protecting you, that includes from yourself

Rio: Precisely

Rio: there is no option, don’t present it like there is

Buster: You’re allowed to present all the options you want, pretend they’re feasible when they just aren’t, make me the prick, again

Rio: You aren’t a prick, that’s the problem

Buster: The problem was letting myself believe things could be true because I wish they were

Rio: I can’t do this with you

Buster: Have a nice night then

Rio: Fat fucking chance, Buster

Buster: Try

Rio: No

Rio: if all you wanted was to save me from myself, then tough luck

Buster: I’ve told you what I want, over and fucking over

Rio: You want me to make this easy for you

Rio: as if I can

Buster: Bullshit, you make me weak but you don’t make me that weak

Rio: Because if I go along with all your plans and say yeah, you’re so right, then you haven’t lost and you get to keep your title

Rio: all I have to do is pretend I’m happy

Buster: If you do as you’re told, for once, you won’t lose anything either

Rio: I don’t want what you’re selling

Buster: You want to sell me a lie

Rio: Back at you

Buster: You’re my fucking cousin, no amount of happiness makes that okay in anyone’s eyes but yours

Rio: Stop trying to shame me for my answer because yours won’t make you happy

Buster: Said like you’ve ever put your happiness first before tonight, you hypocrite

Rio: And you said you cared about my happiness, that you’d prioritise it

Buster: I do

Buster: longterm, not just until you cum

Rio: You’re unbelievable, in the worst way

Buster: Go back to hating me, you’ll clearly barely struggle with the idea

Rio: I love you so badly that I’m not giving up

Buster: We both know what you’d be giving up, I’m not going to keep repeating myself

Rio: Because you don’t respect me as a person

Rio: and that is what it all comes down to, whatever way we split it

Buster: I respect you so much, why would you say that?

Rio: Because you only respect me when I put everyone else first

Buster: I’m acknowledging how important your family is to you, not praising your martyrdom for them

Rio: Any time I’ve tried to pick you, it’s disgusted you

Buster: Because I can’t fill a void left by [however many people this entire family consists of rn when we’re deliberately including everyone she cares about, mcvickers and all, not just Ali kids] people, my ego isn’t that big

Rio: You want to impress your parents, make them proud

Rio: there’s nothing wrong with that but it is nothing to do with me and my supposed martyrdom 

Buster: So you’re really going to throw back in my face whatever I say, are you?

Rio: Because we’re just talking around the fact it is about your family specifically 

Rio: No one would care for me, they would you, can we just be real about that?

Buster: Your family are the weird ones for letting everything slide, are you happy now?

Rio: You’re so ashamed of wanting it

Rio: and if we’re both sufficiently guilty then it’ll never happen again; are you happy?

Buster: Stop normalising it, we’re related

Rio: I’ve tried much harder than you to like anyone else, for it to even come close, close enough to work

Buster: You don’t know how hard I’ve tried, the difference is, it doesn’t ever come close for me the way it blatantly has for you

Rio: You haven’t got a clue, if you honestly believe that

Buster: Seeing’s believing and you’ve made me watch you romanticisise and gaslight yourself into each relationship

Rio: Because trying means letting them take me out, getting to know them, trying to find things to like about them

Rio: not just shoving your tongue down someone’s throat and calling it a day

Buster: I can’t help already knowing them and there being nothing to like, deluding myself about it is just that

Rio: And what else can I do, I’m not allowed to like you

Buster: I’m not allowed to tell you what to do, remember

Rio: Maybe if you had a single clue you could

Buster: Maybe, but I fucking don’t, do I?

Rio: Welcome to the club

Buster: My parents chose to segregate us from the extended family the majority of the time and that means they’re all I have

Buster: Nancy is useless and Ava’s a little kid

Buster: you don’t live in this nonsense postcode bubble, of course you don’t understand how lonely it is

Rio: I mean, you do know that everyone left

Rio: except my mum and Tommy

Rio: sorry to say you’re the rule not the exception but think about it

Buster: Your mum’s populating her own postcode

Rio: There’s 3 more of us than yous

Rio: the baby doesn’t count yet, she’s barely a few cells

Buster: She doesn’t expect anything of you, like you said, your happiness is all that matters

Rio: You want to feel like you belong there

Rio: and in Harvard when you go there, that’s to be expected

Buster: I need to be a success, they are, against much greater odds

Rio: Bottom line, they moved away so you’d not be damaged and fucking your cousin is pretty damaged

Rio: that’s all that needed to be said, like

Buster: Well, yeah, but I don’t want to say that

Rio: No doubt you can find another inventive way to blame me

Buster: For god’s sake, shut up, will you

Rio: Obviously not

Rio: but I know, they’ll never be okay with it, you can’t

Buster: And living a double life will never be okay with me, it shouldn’t be with you, kids or not

Rio: Hanging around nobility has really rubbed off on you, you’re so gentlemanly

Buster: Chivalry isn’t dead because your boyfriends don’t know the meaning of the word

Rio: Hm, maybe I’ll have to marry one of yours

Rio: Get the title your parents can’t buy, as revenge

Buster: That’s not funny, it makes my chest hurt

Rio: It’s not a very funny situation

Rio: I meant it, I really don’t know what else to do now

Buster: Neither do I

Buster: but you’re flawless, I meant that, you can aim a lot higher than wife to any of my friends

Rio: Can’t get better than you though, can I

Buster: Except in the sense you can fully have them

Rio: Trust me, it makes absolutely no difference when they can’t fully have me

Buster: And it offers very little consolation that I can still think about having you in all the ways I want, but I will nonetheless

Rio: Hey, that’s kind of rude

Rio: I wasn’t insulting you with my point

Buster: You’re constantly insulting me with your points

Rio: You start it

Buster: Because otherwise you finish me off

Rio: I did, didn’t I

Buster: Everything you do

Rio: Tell me what to do right now, watch how easily it happens

Buster: Touch yourself where you’d let me right now

Rio: [send him a photo that allows him to see that you’re touching yourself but doesn’t actually show him anything explicit so you’ve technically not crossed that line yet]

Buster: Tell me what it feels like

Rio: I wish I was better with words so you could feel how my body is pulling my fingers inside me just by me telling you how wet I am

Buster: You don’t need words to express yourself, if you’re loud enough, I’ll hear you

Rio: Did you hear everything before, when I was being quiet for you?

Buster: Yes

Rio: I’m going to think about how you sounded forever

Buster: I’ll say your name in my head forever

Rio: Don’t make me cry too

Buster: If I could get away with saying it out loud too, I would, whenever I’m touched

Rio: You can when you’re touching yourself, like now

Buster: The music’s loud but no competition, I shouldn’t start that

Rio: It isn’t anyone’s business though

Buster: Beg me again and I’ll make it my business to say whatever you want to hear

Rio: You know that it’s you, only you

Rio: I’ll make my pleases prettier than anyone elses’

Buster: You know they already are

Rio: You know I need you 

Buster: You know how immediately I’d break every single one of my rules for you as if they’re nothing, in spite of what I’ve said

Rio: That’s what makes it hard to behave

Buster: If you’re an angel you get to go to heaven

Rio: I want to make you happy, I swear

Rio: tell me how to be an angel for you and I’ll do it

Buster: I want to make you happy too

Buster: I’ll admit I was wrong and let you be right if that’s what it takes

Rio: You better send me something so I know this is definitely you

Rio: I don’t know who else you let borrow your phone

Buster: [send her a voice note saying her name obviously, not that loud yet but not as quiet as you should be being]

Rio: [send your reaction back because could not be more thrilled to hear you and hear you say our name ofc]

Rio: I’m going to stop being mean to you, I’m just so used to having to be but you don’t deserve it

Buster: I deserved that, to be able to listen to you react to me as though you aren’t in another country

Rio: You get me like this wherever you are and wherever I am

Buster: Even in church, that’s why you want to give me your total devotion like you do to God

Rio: I need to worship you, be your favourite daughter

Buster: Kneel for me

Rio: [send him a clip of you kneeling, wherever the hell you are]

Buster: You look angelic

Rio: I don’t feel it

Buster: I feel like I won’t be allowed to show my face down the gym because you’re going to knock me out

Rio: 😳

Rio: We can keep it between us, you can be weak with me

Buster: Until everyone watches me hand my [trophy/medal idk whatever he would win] to you and pick you up instead

Rio: [shameless audio of you being more frantic in how you are touching yourself rn]

Rio: Can I keep it?

Buster: It’s yours

Rio: I’m yours

Buster: You’re my favourite and you always will be

Rio: No matter what?

Buster: No-one could ever make me chose another, it’s you

Rio: No one can take your place, I don’t want anyone to even try

Buster: Trying to take my place would be the last thing they did

Rio: I’ve already been thinking about you in the ring, I can’t cope thinking about you fighting for me

Buster: I’d end up in court for the entirely opposite reason, you’d have to defend me

Rio: I defend you all the time

Rio: you’re allowed to do whatever you want, when I make the rules

Buster: I’ve heard you, when the rest of the family are on my case

Rio: You deserve credit, how hard you try

Buster: I appreciate everything you do for me, you know that, don’t you?

Rio: I do

Buster: You can feel it

Rio: You can’t hide some things, not from me

Buster: We could move somewhere full of strangers, hide

Rio: Hide so we don’t have to

Rio: I want to be seen with you

Buster: You could be seen in court every day, cheering me on

Buster: come to America with me

Rio: Let me follow you

Buster: Anywhere, but you won’t have to, I’ll carry you

Rio: It’s so far away, I feel every mile

Rio: in your arms is where I should be

Buster: I need to hold you

Rio: We can cuddle, even if someone is there when we next see each other

Buster: You can be in my lap whenever we next see each other, I’ll think of a reason

Rio: There’s never enough seats for everyone

Buster: And you’re small, they won’t notice

Rio: You’re so big, I know it

Rio: I promise I’ll sit still

Buster: I know you’ve done the maths, how big am I?

Rio: You want me to find something and show you?

Buster: Show me how we’d fit together

Rio: How often do you think about it?

Buster: Whenever I have time to think

Rio: [find something, which truly, what are you finding, I dread to think lmao but you think it’s accurate so showing him like ?]

Buster: That answers how often you’ve thought about it

Rio: Sorry for objectifying you

Buster: Don’t be, the object you’ve chosen as a result is almost perfect

Rio: 🤓

Rio: I’m a bit scared though

Buster: I’d never let you get hurt, you’re ready, it won’t

Rio: How do you do that, know what to say

Buster: Because you’re mine, letting you down isn’t an option

Buster: and you aren’t letting me down by taking it slow, it’s okay

Rio: I haven’t gone this far

Rio: I’m memorising it, for me and for you

Buster: Don’t forget to breathe

Rio: Show me again?

Buster: [ring her and breathe again, you simply must, if only because of how insane we all know his breathing is rn]

Rio: [oh lads, the absolute state we are in, it would sound like you’re doing a terrible job of copying him on purpose but you’re just that !! and not okay, blurting out ‘I missed you’ like you haven’t been talking this whole time even if arguing for a lot of it]

Buster: [actually unhinged breathing happening here anyway so you don’t wanna copy him gal, couldn’t calm down if his life depended on it in this moment ‘I need you closer’ in every sense, likewise blurting that out because yet again has been trying his hardest to put distance between them for an age]

Rio: [‘yes’ even though it was already a statement you are just here confirming that is correct and he needs you as close as possible lol, hitting not quite as a moan but close enough because you’re still here being saucy even if you got to talk to him right now ‘you know I won’t leave’ with a hot lol because had those desperate allegations]

Buster: [echoing her yes with his own which is a moan, a ridiculously breathless one which is the only reason it’s quiet at all ‘you know I don’t want you to’ because where’s the lie, whatever he says, letting her hear how hardcore he’s touching himself about this]

Rio: [when the ‘fuck you’ hits so different because it is pure pleasure and I am so into you please never stop because hearing him sound like that has you once again so mad he is not here ‘you’re so-’ and just letting him hear you too instead of using your words]

Buster: [‘you are’ because she’s got her stand in of him and neither of them are okay about it in any way, hence a literal ‘don’t stop’ coming out as all the possible encouragement she could ever need, not to mention how indecently all of it is being said ‘I’m so proud of you’ because he is for how she sounds and everything she’s up to]

Rio: [🥺 noises at being reminded that you are in fact and endeavouring to carry on even though it’s really getting to you so hard and you really can’t take much of this with all his daddy behaviour and encouragement ‘don’t stop’ back at him for all the reasons you could possibly need to say it]

Buster: [a ‘good girl’ that’s such a moan it’s incoherent because of all her noises she’s making and the fact she’s clearly not stopping despite clearly dying about it, nothing could get to him more ‘you’re doing really well, angel’ for further daddy encouragement she doesn’t need but also does]

Rio: [likewise incoherently attempting to ask him if you’re allowed to go to heaven but you truly aren’t getting the words out in any semblance of an order, not to mention the pauses that are punctuated by you desperately trying not to cum LOUDLY, you’ll catch the word heaven in there but how much more is unclear]

Buster: [‘you’re almost there’ heaven and cumming and taking all of whatever this object is, clearly, all 3 are true and mutually exclusive here and now, the way it would take him forever to get those 3 words out because he’s as !! as she is and making the most unhinged sounds atm through his clenched jaw because the determination to say this ‘you can do it, baby, you want to please me, don’t you? just take a little more’ in contrast then as a rush of words that are once again only vaguely coherent]

Rio: [here sounding like you are in pain truly because he’s making this so agonising for you by saying everything you could possibly want him to and then some, not to mention HOW he is saying it, the ‘yes’ in reply getting lost between some ferocious nodding and pushing what you are doing just that bit further which then has you repeating the yes with less and less coherency as you pick up the pace to fully losing all control and saying his name as you cum]

Buster: [catch him making encouraging noises only because words have become impossible when he knows damn well that she is pushing herself like he told her to and where it’s gonna lead to, those sounds turning into SOUNDS eventually because ofc he’s losing control at the same time she is and her cumming will immediately make him after she has, say her name too as you do, you absolutely HAVE TO]

Rio: [being SO overwhelmed with happiness and !! when you realise he is too, frantically telling him to cum for you, very much begging like you don’t know he already is but you gotta whilst you’re still here riding out your own orgasm ‘til you’re back panting again and trying to not die from lack of oxygen, but you haven’t accidentally hung up this time so that’s something ‘well’ because wellity well well well indeed]

Buster: [as frantically telling her that he’s going to as if they both don’t already know it’s happening because a chatty Kath and he just wants to say it and let her hear how he’s saying it, when it’s over and he’s said her name and likewise not accidentally hung up, joining her in breathing down the phone like he can remotely calm down because we love a full circle moment, even if how immediately he feels like he has to get back under control after losing it makes me feel a bit sad, that’s who he is rn in this era and this moment alas is therefore no exception, it’s the silence for me though because despite his best efforts he is in no way recovered ASAP and is instead very much speechless for a sec]

Rio: [y’all here just breathing, me like IS IT CASUAL NOW lmao, oh lads, like is there anything to say, not really but we’re also not just hanging up out of principle/we do not want to, not soz]

Buster: [mhmm, he should hang up but he isn’t and doesn’t want to because you know that when you do he’s gotta start his shut down of all this because it’s already gone on longer than planned with the 2nd phonecall saucy antics and he isn’t enough of a cunt or sociopath to be looking forward to blanking her again, when the silence is stretching to the point you can hear the muffled antics of this boy moving in bed etc to get more comfortable, doing a sigh, just shamelessly prolonging the inevitable] 

Rio: [the way I was also going to sigh because simply the vibe lmao, gonna make y’all do it at the same time so you can be like oh and do a small lol even though it is very tentative and you’re probably thinking this will be the beginning of the end but there we are]

Buster: [I love that, hence him doing a barely audible oh about this, because it’s more his mouth moving to do the shape than letting it be a thing, because equally tentative vibes, catch this boy lowkey now apprehensive to make a sound in contrast to mere moments before when y’all were being loud af, everything feels very fragile rn and like you’ve stretched things to their absolute breaking point so the tipping point is coming and neither of you wanna be the ones to do something to abruptly end the phonecall and thus the entire thing, all that said, he can’t help but join in with the laugh though, which would feel odd cos when have y’all laughed together]

Rio: [both here to afraid to speak but also unwilling to hang up, you love/hate to see it honestly, still, this girl will find the bravery to ask, as if this has been just a normal phonecall the whole time and that’s totally normal in and of itself, ‘are you going to bed?’ because can hear the sounds in the background]

Buster: [when she’s given you a lifeline because this is something you can easily answer ‘the party isn’t over’ because it clearly isn’t whatever o clock it may be and regardless of how long he’s spent in his room at this point]

Rio: [ya welcome boy, murmuring your mhmm because obviously not, your friends are not well-behaved enough to just head off if they have not been told to fuck off lol ‘okay’ because even if you want to, you aren’t going to tell him to stay with you instead ‘best check everythings still standing then’]

Buster: [‘I have to end it’ when you meant the party but that’s also true of ruster and you know it so that sentence is just hanging there SO heavy]

Rio: [not meaning to but making a tiny sad noise about it, like barely audible but nevertheless feeling like you were just SO dramatic because you did not intend for it to happen so you’re like oh well great ‘I’ll go fight with your sister instead of you then’ saying this just a little too quickly to attempt to cover that awkward moment]

Buster: [also not meaning but nevertheless doing the kind of swallow/throat clear you do when there’s a lump there you’re trying to get rid of because her sad noise made him emotional in such a hard hitting way because it brings home the reality that this genuinely is gonna happen now instead of being the empty threat it was earlier, which would feel equally dramatic to him like wtf am I actually going to cry ?? which he obvs isn’t used to and realistically isn’t drunk enough at this point of the night anymore after those sobering feral antics to be able to completely blame that, so hanging up too quickly without saying anything because CANNOT deal, but it seems like he’s giving permission to her to fuck off/mad at her for her dismissal in favour of Nancy like oh okay then bye] 

Rio: [this reply is giving later as in we did not message you immediately but not even an hour later because can’t just leave it entirely]

Rio: I won’t prolong this, I know what you’re gonna do now, how it’ll be

Rio: so, bye, I guess? I don’t know what word would work

Buster: [when you can’t even read this never mind reply because his response to being a pussy, as he would see it after almost breaking down, is to go and do the absolute most at this party to ‘prove’ to himself he isn’t and be out of control in an ‘acceptable’ way, I dread to think how high and seriously blackout drunk he’ll be, but at least that means you aren’t gonna sleep with anyone (stay away Chlo thank you) because no, RIP to this boy but not baze’s gaff because I’m not letting any of his friends trash it no matter what]

Bea: [The next AM when y’all are assumedly getting ready to leave Dublin and this boy is in GOD knows what state]

Bea: Your sister has taken the liberty of showing us the mess you were in last night

Buster: Of course she has

Bea: Your friends with guaranteed positions at daddy’s company probably aren’t concerned about their online footprint but you have to be 

Bea: There’s some stuff you’re going to want taken down, before you make a start on cleaning up the house before we’re home

Buster: I know, but thanks for your concern

Bea: Would it kill you to act like you know

Buster: Apparently so

Bea: Come on, what was that even about

Bea: Obviously you were going to have a party, we’re not stupid but you didn’t need to take the piss like that

Buster: What do you want me to say?

Bea: You want your independence but you are still going to have to come to Dublin sometimes

Bea: Your dad and grandad were disappointed you skipped last night, you know`

Buster: I’m going to come to Dublin sometimes

Buster: When have I ever avoided a single one of my obligations?

Bea: It’s not meant to be an obligation, they’re your family

Bea: besides, you like St Paddys

Buster: Then you and dad should work harder to treat it as though you don’t see it as one, because that’s exactly how it comes across

Bea: We have careers and clients that take up the majority of our time, anything outside of that is one for us

Bea: You, meanwhile, were clearly perfectly free last night and could’ve made the effort 

Buster: If you care that much about me spending time in Dublin, move us back there

Bea: Do you think you’re in quite that much trouble?

Buster: I think you’re full of it, but I’m hardly going to do more than strongly imply the fact, am I? Given whatever trouble I am in

Bea: No, no, carry on

Bea: the fact you’re still drunk enough to be digging this hole is concerning enough

Buster: I’m angry enough, at least

Bea: Oh YOU’RE angry

Bea: why are you angry, exactly?

Buster: Take your pick, maybe because Nance is a fucking snitch or perhaps because you aren’t actually worried beyond my online footprint and your soft furnishings, either/or

Bea: Your sister having no loyalty beyond the type that comes with high-interest cards isn’t new, nor something to concern yourself with, she made a fool of herself as per last night too

Bea: If all I wanted was to bollock you, I could wait until I got back

Buster: A small consolation considering how inevitable Nance making a fool of herself is, but I’ll take it

Bea: It looks like we have Paris Hilton in the back of the car

Bea: but do you plan on telling me what’s wrong or am I meant to guess? Because I don’t think either of us would enjoy that as far as games go

Buster: Do send her to some wilderness camp

Buster: and no, I’m handling it, obviously

Bea: At this point, we’ll try anything

Bea: Handling it now or last night’s little soiree was your attempt at handing it?

Buster: I mishandled it last night, as you’ve already pointed out

Bea: We just want you to be happy, obviously

Bea: happy people do not get in that kind of state, except by accident

Buster: I’m the wrong twin to claim accidental poisoning, I can read the labels

Bea: Exactly

Buster: There’s no need for guessing games, you’ve already filled in the necessary blanks

Bea: As long as you’re happy you’ve got it under control

Bea: because I really can’t hack if you’re going to be this moody all the time

Buster: I have

Buster: which doesn’t mean I can guarantee my mood for you

Bea: Not now, I’m sure

Bea: the damage is done

Buster: Very inspiring in regards to the optimism you’re expecting me to otherwise pull from nowhere

Bea: If you’re having teenage angst that’s none of our business but anything beyond that is

Bea: it’s an awkward line to toe, you try it

Buster: It’s your line, you drew it

Buster: I’m not going to start telling you how to parent

Bea: No one does

Buster: Nan definitely does, I’ve heard her

Bea: She has plenty of cautionary tales at her disposal 

Buster: So do you, about getting wasted especially

Bea: Honestly, you make it sound like I had a Problem ™ 

Buster: I took a lot of things too far last night, I’m aware of that

Buster: but it won’t become a problem

Bea: And you’ll call grandad?

Buster: Are you asking me to or telling me to?

Bea: You were missed, for God’s sake

Buster: Fine, I’ll call him later

Bea: Jesus, like pulling teeth with you this morning

Bea: We should have made you come, and you should probably be in more trouble now, again, act like you know you’re getting off lightly, please

Buster: I don’t like disappointing people, so, take comfort in my discomfort there if you want

Bea: I really don’t

Bea: like I said, if you were just wanting to spend time with your friends, this wouldn’t be a conversation

Bea: you’re so… serious, lately

Buster: Would you rather I wasn’t? Like Nancy

Bea: I already said, happy, all of you

Buster: Don’t

Bea: What? Is that suddenly an awful thing to say?

Buster: It’s bullshit, you know it is

Bea: Why because I’m some kind of dragon woman

Buster: She’s perfectly happy, but in no world do you want any of the nonsense she does for her

Bea: I don’t think she is

Buster: You think she should work as hard as she plays, preferably harder, that’s what you taught us

Bea: I think she needs a purpose, for herself, not for arbitrary productivity 

Buster: Her purpose on any given night is to ruin everyone else’s

Bea: Because she doesn’t know her real one yet

Buster: Well, I know mine, don’t worry

Bea: Okay, if you’re sure

Buster: Since I was [whatever age he decided he wanted to be a lawyer]

Buster: I’ve always been serious, it isn’t new

Bea: I’m not saying it’s a bad thing

Bea: but you know you can talk to us

Buster: I already know what you’d say

Bea: Try me

Buster: I don’t want you to be disappointed, remember

Bea: We aren’t

Buster: You would be

Bea: Don’t make me repeat myself already

Buster: Repetition makes a lie sound more believable, allegedly 

Bea: Whatever you’ve done, cannot be that bad, okay

Bea: you’ve just got the fear

Buster: Why can’t it? 

Buster: the only reason you think any different is because I’m me and I don’t usually make mistakes

Bea: Because nothing is, in my experience

Bea: especially not at your age

Buster: Don’t patronise me, mum

Bea: I’m pointing out that everything feels heightened, that’s it

Buster: I’ve ruined everything

Bea: Tell me what happened

Buster: You can’t fix it

Bea: Of course we can

Buster: No, you think you have all the answers but you don’t

Bea: I can’t possibly help you if you aren’t going to tell me anything

Buster: I can’t tell you

Bea: Why not

Buster: Because I don’t even know how to

Bea: Whatever it is, we can handle it

Buster: I’ll handle it, like I said

Bea: You don’t have to handle it alone

Buster: It’s my problem

Bea: Your problems are our problem

Buster: That’s really nice in theory, but I don’t want to be a problem for you to have to solve

Bea: None of us want to be but it happens

Buster: Not to me, I’m supposed to do better, be better

Bea: Buster, give yourself a break

Buster: I’m meant to be a success story, that’s what you want, what all of this is for

Buster: the point of living here, the point of everything

Bea: Slow down

Bea: you can be successful, you can make plenty of mistakes along the way and have it still happen, trust me

Buster: Until I do something I can’t undo

Bea: There are very few things that fall into that category

Buster: But there are things, fuck ups that aren’t allowed to happen

Bea: Even most of those are things you can work with

Buster: I wish I had murdered someone instead, like Nance said

Bea: What?

Buster: It doesn’t matter, the point is, I’d know what to do then

Bea: So you don’t know how to move forward

Buster: What I should do is blatantly obvious, hence it’s what I’m going to

Buster: but it doesn’t change what I’ve done, nothing will

Bea: You regret what you’ve done?

Buster: Exactly the opposite

Buster: I’d do it again in a heartbeat, I want to

Buster: How am I supposed to live with not being sorry at all for something I should be?

Bea: I don’t know, I’d be the last person to ask

Buster: Do you have any regrets?

Bea: Sometimes I think I could have done more for Ro

Bea: but that could be bullshit, I wasn’t the only one trying and none of it worked so

Buster: Maybe the trick is when to stop trying

Bea: You don’t stop

Bea: but if the person doesn’t help themselves then there’s only so much to be done

Buster: Yeah, I need to help myself, that’s good advice

Bea: Well, you’re hardly like Ro 

Buster: I’m not exempt from giving into shit that’s destructive

Buster: but I can stop before I sabotage my entire future

Bea: Do you think you have substance issues?

Buster: God no, trust me, that’s not it

Bea: If it is, the help isn’t all heavy-handed, there are plenty of steps before a rehab stay

Buster: Mum, come on, you know that’s not who I am

Bea: How many things am I meant to infer from sabotaging your future

Buster: Don’t guess, it’s okay, I’ll be okay

Bea: Okay then, I won’t

Buster: I just need to take your advice and keep moving forward, focus on what I know are the right things to do

Bea: I’m glad you feel clearer-headed 

Bea: I remain entirely in the dark and more confused than when we started but I’ll live

Buster: I’m calm now, forget about what I said when I wasn’t

Bea: Whatever you say, kid

Buster: I’ll go clean up, the sight of a less trashed house’ll distract you, if nothing else

Bea: Hmm

Bea: We should be back around [a time], providing Lindsay Lohan doesn’t get us chucked off the plane with any further antics

Buster: Tell Ava her room’s totally untouched, since I don’t have an addiction to fund

Bea: What lovely news for her

Buster: Yours too, I’m not an idiot, a ban on bedrooms is one of my rules when I’m the host

Bea: Well you know my feeling on the matter 

Buster: Yeah

Bea: Still, I suppose you can’t be the only one not allowed to ‘host’

Buster: I don’t give a fuck where I am in the popularity rankings, after last night or before, people pleasing is only for climbing the career ladder not a school extracurricular 

Bea: You’re allowed to care

Buster: It wasn’t about impressing my friends, I’m already impressive

Bea: Alright

Buster: Try and have a good flight

Bea: I’ve got work to get on with, thus a valid reason to ignore any more hassle so I will

Buster: My homework’s all done, can’t relate

Buster: you should probably ask them to hand out more so I don’t spiral into daily doses of [the hilariously posh drug slang of the era for heroin and crack because you know she hates chelsea slang too]

Bea: That’s the thing about work, you only get more

Bea: Too predictable that people here can’t even do addiction well

Buster: True, but let me savour you being hilariously wrong, for once

Buster: such a thing is the opposite of predictable

Bea: Nice save

Buster: Thanks for offering to try and save me

Bea: Pretty standard parents isn’t it

Buster: I know I can be a prick, have been, will be again

Bea: Don’t worry, it’s genetic

Buster: Beginning and end of my every problem, yeah

Bea: So it goes

Buster: When do I have to go to Dublin?

Bea: You really don’t want to go that much?

Buster: Not unless there’s really no room for negotiation 

Bea: August, at the latest

Buster: For how long?

Bea: We haven’t really planned that far ahead yet

Buster: Alright

Bea: Has something happened in Dublin?

Buster: I want to stay here, that’s all

Bea: I don’t think it has to be before August, for you

Bea: we’ll go back before then

Buster: I’ll earn your trust back, so you don’t mind leaving me behind

Buster: I don’t belong there, whatever grandad believes

Bea: They’re family, you can’t just opt-out

Buster: I agreed to call him

Bea: Yes, I know

Bea: I’m just telling you, in general, that’s not how it works

Buster: I know too, you don’t need to tell me

Buster: How angry is dad?

Bea: He’s not thrilled but you’re not the only target so

Bea: it’ll be fine, probably

Buster: How angry are you still?

Bea: I’m more concerned than angry

Buster: It was just a blip, I promise

Buster: I have everything under control now, I’ll even go to Dublin if it seriously means that much to you

Bea: It’s not about what it means to me

Bea: you don’t want to end up like Ro for real, no one to her name and living on the other side of the world with complete strangers

Buster: I’m going to America but we have nothing else in common

Bea: Of course you don’t, but you have to care about the rest of us, stay tethered

Buster: I do care about my family, that’s you, dad and my sisters

Bea: The more the better

Buster: You and dad didn’t live by that

Bea: That’s not true

Buster: When you think you have to set a good example it isn’t, but you did, you are

Bea: It isn’t, we always went home

Bea: you have to go to the best Uni for you, no matter where it is

Buster: I know what’s best for me

Buster: and I also know I don’t need to rely on anyone, how to take care of myself, because of you

Bea: Self-reliance is good to have if you need it, it’s not how anyone prefers to live

Buster: I wouldn’t prefer to live on a giant commune with everyone

Bea: There’s a happy medium between the two

Buster: I’ve said I’ll go if it makes you happy

Bea: We’re going in circles now, you go sort your head out and get cleaning

Buster: Because you can’t talk me into being happy there, I’m not

Bea: You’re a teenager, you’re not happy anywhere

Bea: this just isn’t a productive conversation to have

Buster: When you don’t listen no conversation is productive, it’s barely a conversation in the first place

Bea: Buster, I have listened

Bea: there’s no good reason for you not to see your family, it’s not as if we make you go every weekend or something

Buster: What would you consider a good enough reason? You told me my happiness matters, you practically did a whole little speech

Bea: A reason to not make an effort with your family?

Bea: Think about it, how many reasons do you really think there are

Buster: This is my home, that’s what you fucking decided

Bea: We can’t all live on the same street, like I said, there’s a happy medium 

Bea: that doesn’t mean they’re nothing to do with you

Buster: They’re almost strangers to me, most of them

Bea: Making the effort will get easier as you get older

Buster: Or it’ll prove to be a wasted effort, and the same for my time

Bea: If you’re going to be this ignorant and ungrateful, I can talk to your sister and get the same headache

Buster: Whatever you think forcing me to do something is going to achieve, it won’t

Bea: Just do whatever you like then, I’m sick of hearing you talk like this

Buster: I’m sick of everyone acting like we’re a big, happy family when the only part about that which is accurate is the numbers

Bea: Fucking hell, welcome to the real world, darling

Bea: everyone’s doing their best, how ‘happy’ anyone is moment to moment is irrelevant

Buster: Dublin is only ever going to bring out my worst, I’m trying my best to avoid that

Bea: August is months away

Bea: A little putting up and shutting up will do you the world of good, honestly

Buster: Great

[saintangelina]

where angels don't fly #1

this picture is from my 22nd birthday, a day that i spent crying in bed, the first half at least. it's truly kunt how one can be receiving a ton of happy bday messages and be so distraught with life lmao.

leading up to it i just didn't feel like doing nothing for my bday, for no specific reason just vibes. i have a very different view of things and tbh i try to celebrate myself as much as possible during the ENTIRE year, so i just didn't feel like there was much in the air to commemorate. my mom was insisting on having dinner outside with some of my friends, including my dad, and with that simple request, me knowing i had a very femme look planned for the night out, i freezed to the thought of posting up outside with my dad "looking like that". mind u, he doesn't say shit abt it ever lmao, those times are long gone but those scars very much woke tf up in that moment.

this caused an insane crisis, were i was reflecting deeply abt the fact that, my truth, my essence, my soul's true purpose and flourishing is conditioned to my current location. this is still true, partially. but i'm very privileged, i try to remind myself of that because i'm graced with alot of peace that others that look like me just don't have. that never kept the monsters away though. ALL my life i've been frozen, succumbed to the words of those around me, i've created beautiful realities within my own safe space, the digital world. creation is my purpose but for so long i've let how the world views me condition my movement. i think i'm slowly getting my voice back, and my will to just bulldoze life with art. and somehow i think my birthday reminded me of that, so i guess there was something to celebrate after all :p

by god's will and divine timing, we finally had our sleepover!! these two angels are the ones who remind me of my humanity, of deserving unconditional love and support, of being me and allowing myself to breathe. ethereal souls that get my hand every time and say "you're good!". i'm forever grateful that i can share this life with them, and that night i learned more than i did in months. i learned that i'm not to fault for falling deep in the traps of unrequited love - in the form of lust - and looking for the most basic human necessities like touch in someone that will simply not give it to me, because they're not supposed to. i was also reminded to share, share share share. i trap years of guilt within me and i've just arrived my 20s, and i know damn well i don't want to be the seniors around me, engulfed in decades of trauma, pain and stagnancy. i made a vow to forever be honest about what's going on with me, with them at least, because i pick and choose very carefully who can be apart of my tapestry.

but these two...every inch of them, and every inch of me is valid when we are around each other, and i honestly wish everyone carried just a lil bit of that frequency with them everyday. pure magia

meanwhile, miss twigs is out here saving lives and exceeding the bar once again. been listening to eusexua (the unreleased was to feel alone) for the past months since the valentino l'école show, and she truly just feels like a hug of hope, getting me out of the darkness with the use of it, with sensorial bpms that just make every cell in my body vibrate every stain of doubt away & fully letting go. i hope one day i can tell her the depths of what she makes me feel just out of 4 minutes and 23 seconds of music, let alone an entire discography, and ngl manifesting we'll become peers of the craft and we can work together period.

an eclipse in pisces is upon us, the astrologers are saying to not do much, practice patience, rest and let the higher up do its thing. so i’m just gonna bathe myself in faith salts, put a juicy body oil, drink some tea and relaaaaaaaax.

....................ʢᴗ.ᴗʡᶻ

well LMAO, hi. i've decided to start a dramatic journaling journey of journal journalism on here, the format is great and i always felt like i needed to spread my thoughts/seeds through every corner of the internet that i can. idgaf about typos, oversharing, self-centeredness LMAO. i'm learning to value my rants, and giving it a digital medium that's slightly customizable is cute. this is gonna be my vessel from me to me so i can elaborate more on my experiences, and keep up with myself. if someone finds it, hopefully it'll spark a thought or two.

angelina xx

[raccoonfallsharder]

hey, chip anon here, i was gonna respond to the miguel thing but i thought abt smth and now and i’m curious,,

okay so i gained a lil crush on someone i met at a mall, and now my friend is suddenly so down bad for him too and it’s stressing me out . i love her to death but this just is a lil much for me,, am i being dramatic?? sorry i’m asking you, i don’t have many friends so why not ask for advice anonymously?? you don’t have to answer , i just figured it was worth a shot

god this is embarrassing but being quite honest here this is one of my very first crushes (on the aromantic spectrum 🤟) and i do not know what to DO !!! is it normal for my friends deciding they wanna date my crush

btw i had chips today . i just had to add .

to start with: i know feelings tend to do whatever they want whether you fucken like it or not, but if you can…please be gentle with yourself? there’s no need to be embarrassed. (i dont know if this resonates for you but i personally think embarrassment is the result of our poor little prehistoric-mammal-instincts trying to protect us & warn us when they think that we might get judged for something && get kicked out of the pack but (1) that’s absolutely not gonna fuckin happen here and (2) i don’t think that there’s anything about your ask that isn’t relatable in some way. like you are for sure not alone in navigating first-time- or any-time-crush confusion & weirdness)

secondly…i’m just sorry you’re going through this. crush-feelings are…chaotic enough without having the added complication of newness plus a friend’s feelings being involved like this. that’s fuckin rough my little chip and I’m bummed that this is happening for you

thirdly: i would not consider myself an advice-giver generally, especially when i only have access to two paragraphs of information. ultimately, you are the person who knows your life better than anyone. you are the expert here. but i will share a few things i think might be helpful in really clarifying & distilling your own course of action?? && you can take or leave them as feels right to you.

so there’s twenty seven paragraphs behind the cut && probably none of them will be what you were hoping for, and im sorry for that, but it’s the best i can do && i hope it helps a little tiny bit ♡

we can’t ever really know what your friend is feeling. there can easily be innocent or toxic reasons for her to be interested in this person now. plus, people can’t control their feelings, anyway.

but they can control their behavior.

so i would think it might be helpful for you to identify the actual behaviors she’s engaging in. like, is she wanting to talk with you about this person and gush over them? or is she wanting to “compete” with you and…i dunno, date them first? is she indicating she wants to bond with you over this, or expressing apologies and concern and support for you, or suddenly trying to pursue this other person without any regard for you?

secondly i’d encourage you to consider how her behavior is impacting you, how she responds in general (including but not limited to this situation) when/if you tell her how her behavior is affecting you, and finally, consider how much you want your friendship to survive && flourish (there’s no shame in any answers to any of these questions).

from there, it might be easier to figure out how you want to respond.

you could roll with things and let it go (especially if you feel like it’s a benign shared interest and she really cares about supporting you).

you could talk to her about it and be like, “hey, i noticed you seemed to develop feelings for this person shortly after i expressed interest. our friendship is important to me, and i want to make sure we’re taking care of it, so i thought i should let you know i’m concerned for us right now. could we talk about it?” (which i think makes sense if her behavior bothers you, but you want to try to protect && preserve your friendship).

or you could cut her out entirely (this might make the most sense if it seems like a repeated pattern of behavior — not necessarily with romantic interests obvi, but just trying yo compete with you or not caring about your feelings — in spite of you expressing that it hurts you and/or if you’re not interested in seeing if the friendship can be salvaged).

and these are only three of like, countless approaches you could take, all of them on a massive spectrum.

the point is you have options. and you don’t even have to make a decision or take any action or commit to a line of thinking right now — you can just feel your fuckin feelings and wait and see what happens, if you want. take some time to think && to listen to yourself and your instincts. process with someone you trust. there’s no need to rush your own brain or to react quickly here.

and most importantly, trust yourself. again ill say: you are the best expert of your own life experiences. truly ♡ you’ve been living them your whole life && nobody knows em like you do

again im sorry i couldn’t be more helpful but that’s the best I’ve got. i love you chip nonnie && I’m rooting for you && hoping it all works out. keep me updated if you want ♡

ps for whatever it’s worth im actually on the asexual spectrum (not that anyone can tell from my current fanfiction offerings) so let me tell you the first time i had sexual feelings for a person it was a fuckin trip (panomantic demisexual here hello)

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

You're Here Now | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky has always been paranoid that his past with Hydra will come back to bite him, but he's not the one who gets bitten

Warnings: torture/violence against reader, blood, knives, strangulation, pet names, lil bit of fluff :)

Word Count: 4.4k

—————————

“Do I haaaave to wear a tie?" Bucky groaned as he plopped down on the bed. "I'm already wearing a suit, is the tie really necessary?"

You laughed at his dramatics. This was Bucky Barnes, the man who fell from a train, had his arm ripped off, and was captured, tortured for years...and here he was complaining about wearing a tie.

"Yes, you haaaave to wear a tie", you said, “gotta make a good impression”. You took it from his hands and did your very best to fix it for him. There’d been a time back in his youth when Bucky could tie a tie without even looking, but the skill didn’t survive Hydra’s brainwashing.

"Are you nervous?" you asked, looking up from your attempt at a Windsor knot. He shook his head slightly and looked away, trying and failing to hide his anxiety. He fiddled with his dog tags, clinking them against his metal fingers one after the other- a nervous habit you’d come to recognize.

Today was the day, the final step before his pardon became official. He had to meet with the National Security Council and give them everything he had on Hydra- everything he could remember, that is.

You finished with his tie and took his hands, squeezing them gently to stop their anxious movements. But the nervous energy still had them shaking.

"You have no reason to be nervous, babe. Just be honest with them. You’re not the bad guy here…

"I know, I just don't want to fuck it up".

"Buck, you're not gonna to fuck it up. Tell them what you know and you're home free...and then we can celebrate" a mischievous grin stretched across your face as you climbed into his lap and straddled his hips. "Mmm, I think I like you in a tie", tugged on the knot, bringing his face close to yours.

“You’re trouble, doll. You know that?"

The moment your lips met his, all was well. For just a second, the fog of anxiety and dread cleared He got lost in the feel of your body on his, the softness of your lips, and the smell of your hair.

Unfortunately, a text from Happy Hogan ruined the moment: "Ready when you are", He groaned and let his head fall forward until it rested on your sternum.

"Fuuuuuuuuck" he whispered against your skin, "I gotta go, sweets". With one more kiss, Bucky loved you from his lap and set you gently on the bed.

You let out a whine, "You sure I can't come with you today, Buck?"

"I'm sure. Security clearance, remember?"

“Yeah, cause I’m just soooo dangerous”

Bucky would’ve loved to have you there with him. Your presence grounded him, kept him from spiraling. Without you there, he feared he’d suffocate under the weight of what Hydra did to him. Recounting all of it- every detail of his experience as their prisoner- just to gain a partner had him wanting to go on the run again.

The two of you walked hand in hand to the front door of the apartment you shared. He couldn’t dodge your last minute checks of his hair and suit jacket, but appreciated you all the same.

"Go get 'em, Barnes. Go spill all those Hydra secrets", you cheered, giving him a little smack on the ass.

He rolled his eyes and pulling you in for a kiss, laughing as his lips met yours. "Alright, this shouldn't take more than a few hours. I'll call you on the way home. Okay, doll?" he cupped your face in his large hands and kissed you on the forehead.

"I'll see ya then, babe" you nodded. He undid the deadbolt, and opened the door before turning back to you with a serious expression on his face.

"Lock the door behind me, please". You rolled your eyes at this reminder and gave him a thumbs up before he turned around and headed down the hall.

Bucky was always reminding you to lock the front door, but you always forgot. It wasn't your fault that you grew up in a small town where no one locked their doors. To you, deadbolting the door felt like hypervigilence. It simply wasn't second nature, and part of your thought it was maybe a tad bit dramatic.

"It's just for your safety, baby", he always said. He would get frustrated with you sometimes when you forgot, but you knew it came from a good place. After what he’d been through, Bucky knew the value of security. He just wanted to protect you and keep you safe, but it didn't stop you from forgetting to lock the door half the time, including today.

You glanced down at your phone. It was 9:30am, and Bucky's meeting was at 10:30. You figured it would take three hours at the very least, so you had some time to kill. It was a beautiful autumn Saturday, so of course you wanted to go for a run. Bucky didn't like when you went running by yourself. He was convinced that someone who held a grudge against him was going to pull you into a windowless creeper van or something. He always went running with you- always. And you had to admit that you enjoyed running with Bucky. He was so goddamn fast that it pushed you to be better, and seeing him all sweaty afterward was definitely a bonus.

"What Bucky doesn't know won't kill him," you thought to yourself as you made your way to the bedroom to change. Getting your running playlist queued up, you put in your headphones and headed out. "Fuck- the door" you cringed as you remembered that you'd left it unlocked. But you were already in the elevator and didn't feel like going all the way back upstairs to lock it. "It'll be fine, I'll be back before Bucky gets home".

...

And you were. You'd done a quick three miles in the park and felt great. You opened the front door and beelined it for the kitchen in desperate need of a glass of water. Chugging the ice cold water, you looked around your quiet apartment. Ditching your headphones, you took a moment to appreciate the home you shared with Bucky. You loved living here with him. It wasn't a huge place, but it was plenty of space for the two of you- and you'd worked really hard to make it comfortable for him. He deserved a safe place.

That's when you heard it- the creak of a floorboard. There was one spot in the hallway near your bedroom that always creaked when someone stepped on it. You couldn't see down the hallway from where you stood in the kitchen, and even if you wanted to go look, you couldn't. You were frozen.

"Relax!" you thought to yourself. "Bucky's paranoia is getting to you".

But you were wrong. Suddenly a man grabbed you from behind and covered your mouth with his gloved hand. You dropped your water glass and watched it shatter on the floor, sending shards of glass shooting across the ground. The assailant dragged you toward the front door, but you weren’t giving up without a fight.

Bucky had taught you a few lesson in self-defense moves, and you did your best to pull them out of the back of your brain. By some stroke of luck, you broke free from your captor- but you only made it a few steps before he had you by the ankle. You fell to the ground, the broken glass carving into your hands. The man's masked face hovered above yours and you made one last effort to take him down, but it was futile. Suddenly, everything went black.

...

Waking up in a small concrete room, you tried to make sense of your surroundings. Stiff plastic ties held your hands in place behind your chair, and you were certain a few pieces of glass still lay beneath your skin. A nightmarish pounding in your skull far surpassed any migraine you'd ever had, making it almost impossible to think. Sticky dried blood crusted on the side of your face and the sharp ringing in your ear refused to relent.

"Hey, welcome back to the land of the living," a familiar voice quipped. Your head snapped in the direction of the voice and your eyes met with those of ex- SHIELD agent Brock Rumlowe. You'd seen him at countless Stark parties and around the S.H.I.E.L.D. office, and never would've thought he was a Hydra operative- but that was kind of the point.

A gag prevented you from speaking, muffling any attempt you made at communication. "Oh, sorry about that, darlin'," Rumlowe said as he casually made his way over and pulled the gag from your mouth. "There ya go".

"What the fuck, Rumlowe? What's your fucking problem?!"

He did not like this.

Rumlowe gripped you by the throat as he stared down at you with hate in his eyes. "Don't you give me any fucking attitude, I'll fucking kill you right now". He squeezed tighter and tighter until a sickly blue color tinged your lips. Rumlowe released your windpipe, laughing as you struggled and gasped. "Wanna try that again, princess?"

Still out of breath, you changed tactics. Brock’s bruising grip sent a deep ache through your throat, forcing you yo whisper. “Why are you doing this to me?"

You kept your eyes down and tried to avoid making him feel disrespected, knowing what would happen if you did otherwise. Rumlowe laughed once again, dragging a metal chair across the room and positioning it in front of you. He took a seat and looked at you with an amused expression on his face. He was having a great fucking time.

"Let me tell ya, babe," he said, ignoring your question. "I've been following you for quite a while, and I knew you were attractive from afar, but up close? Damn. Barnes bagged a hot one". He reached out and stroked your face with his rough hands, your dried blood still staining his fingers. With a sharp jerk, you pulled your cheek from his hand- and that was a mistake. He hit you again, this time spitting your lip and sending blood spilling into your mouth.

"Attitude, babe. You gotta watch that attitude of yours". He chuckled and dragged his hand along your thigh- it took everything in you not to pull away. "To answer your question, sweetheart, we're not technically doing this to you. You're a means to an end, unfortunately." Either he wasn't explaining things clearly or you were still dazed from the hit you'd taken to the face.

Rumlowe looked into your eyes and clocked your confusion. He gave a sigh and rolled his eyes, “You're hot but dumb, aren't you? Right now, your bionic man is meeting with the National Security Council. He's trading Hydra intel for his pardon from the United States government. So we figured we'd make a trade of our own: for every secret he shares, we hurt you. He stops giving intel, we stop brutalizing his hot piece of ass. I, personally, think it's very fair."

You opened your mouth, but Rumlow stopped you from speaking. "Hold that thought a sec," he said, holding a finger up. He answered his phone and listened for a moment before hanging up and giving you a big smile. "Looks like they're taking a break now that their first questions are finished- so let's make a call to Barnes, shall we?". He pulled your phone out of his pocket and scrolled through your contacts until he found Bucky's name.

"Awww," he teased, "look at the little heart emoji by his name. Isn't that so sweet?" He pressed call and waited for Bucky to answer.

//////////

Bucky felt like he was an ant under a magnifying glass. "If those were just the introductory questions, what the hell are the real questions going to be like?" he thought. He turned around and saw Sam and Nat sitting in the observation area. Having them there, was nice- but they were nothing compared to what it would've been like if you'd been allowed to attend.

He was thankful for this fifteen minute break to regroup and get his head straight. He couldn’t fuck this up- too much was stake. His phone started vibrating and he pulled it out of his pocket, smiling when he saw your name.

"Hey, doll. Perfect timing," he said, relieved. He waited for a response, but heard nothing. "Hello? Doll?"

"Bucky..." he heard you rasp.

"Baby? Are you okay?" but he didn't get an answer from you. All he heard was a familiar laugh on the other end. Rumlowe.

"Barnes! Long time, no talk!" Rumlowe exclaimed. "How's the meeting going?".

Bucky shot out of his seat and started making his way to Sam and Nat. "Rumlowe, what the fuck are you doing?" he spat into the phone.

"Listen, man. This isn't my fault. We were buds, remember! I was told to get you to shut the fuck up about Hydra by any means necessary, so these are the means I chose! I got your hot little piece over here and she's not doing so great." Bucky's phone buzzed as he received a picture. It was a dark, grainy image of you in a concrete room, attached to a chair. Blood smeared the side of your face and oozed from your mouth. A dark red ring around your throat looked angry, and a gash near your eyebrow leaked blood into your eye. A pit of rage and desperation instantly formed in his stomach, pulling him down into despair.

"I'm coming for you, Rumlowe,"

Bucky growled. Again, he heard a dubious laugh on the other end, "Are you sure about that, Barnes? Doesn't your pardon hinge on this meeting? If you don't give up your intel aren't you going to...federal prison?"

Bucky threw open the door to the observation room, rushing over to Sam and Nat. They didn’t like his wide eyes, the utter lack of warmth in his face. Something was wrong- something way bigger than the pardon.

"Make your choice, Barnes. For every detail you give about Hydra, I do something to her. We've got ears everywhere. Good luck"

The line disconnected and Bucky felt like the world crumbling beneath his feet. He instantly jumped to a thousand conclusions and possible solutions, his mind spinning with possibilities.

Sam's hand on his shoulder brought Bucky back to reality. "Bucky..? What's the deal, man? You look paler than usual."

"It-it's Rumlowe. He took herI have to go- I'm going to get her." Sam's hand still rested firmly on Bucky's shoulder, stopping him from escaping. "Back up, what?" Nat threw Sam a look, "Tell us everything you know".

Bucky quickly filled both of them in on the harrowing call he'd received. He hated every follow up question and clarification they threw his way- there was no time. Every extra second that passed was another moment for you in Rumlow’s clutches.

"There's no way I'm staying here,” Bucky said, “I have to-"

"Oh no, you're staying right here. You're staying right here and you're giving them everything you know. You're not giving up this pardon, Buck".

Bucky looked at Sam with desperation, "Did you not hear what I said? If I talk, they're going to hurt her. Everything I tell the council is another excuse for them to do something terrible- she could die, Sam.” Bucky's heart pounding against his ribs- why didn’t Sam understand?

"Barnes, we get it. But we can't let you leave. We can't let you go to prison," Nat said, “You don’t deserve that”.

Bucky felt like he was losing his mind, "Prison? Who fucking cares if I go to prison? I have more important things to worry about right now," he yelled as he once again started toward the door.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Sam called, "We'll go get her. You stay here and fulfill the terms of your pardon, and we'll go find your girl. How about that?"

Bucky turned to face Sam. He couldn't believe the things his friends were saying. They knew how much he loved you, how willing he was to trade his life for yours.

"Buck, trust us. We can do this for you," Nat rested a hand on his shoulder. "I promise we will get her out of there safely. You cannot leave this meeting". Desperation clouded her eyes. She knew all too well how hard it was to wipe a slate clean, and if Bucky had the chance, he needed to take it.

Bucky knew they meant well, but how was he supposed to focus on a meeting while you were in danger? How could he send his friends to save you instead of taking care of you himself? He couldn’t sit still and answer questions when your life hung in the balance.

"I'm calling in the whole team, man,” Sam promised. “We're gonna get everyone on this. I swear. You can trust us to bring her home safe."

Bucky stared at his friends, silently weighing the options. He needed to find you. He needed to hold you and protect you- but he’d never hold you again if he ended up in prison. “Okay, fine,” he muttered, “Go. Now.”

/////////

Rumlowe's conversation with Bucky left you feeling more distressed than you already were. You hoped he would stay at the meeting and fulfill the requirements of his pardon. You couldn't see him go to prison; he didn't deserve to suffer like that.

"Hey, you wanna take bets on what Barnes decides?", Rumlowe asked playfully. "I'm thinking...he's gonna ditch the meeting and come save his damsel in distress like the hero he is aaaaaaaand then he'll go to prison. What do you think, babe?" He looked at you with a delighted expression, waiting for you to take part in his little game. Silence filled the room as you declined to answer his stupid question, and you saw the rage building in his eyes.

You opened your mouth to speak, but it was too late. Rumlowe was in your face, holding the point of a knife to your chest. "Don't you know it's rude not to answer when someone asks you a question?" he said, taunting you with the sharp blade. He pressed it against your flesh ever so slightly, and that was all it took to break the skin. He dragged the point from your clavicle to your sternum. The sting of the sharp blade was flooded by a warm sensation as your blood trickled out of the fresh wound.

You winced at the pain and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over. "Oh, honey, don't cry," Rumlowe teased. "It's just a-" he stopped when he heard a buzz. He grabbed his phone and read the message he'd just received. A huge, twisted smile crawled its way across his face and he let out a wild laugh.

"Oh, you'll NEVER believe this, princess. Barnes is talking!" Relief and terror flooded your body simultaneously. You were thrilled that Bucky wasn't going to be imprisoned for not talking to the Security Council, but you knew that that meant he wasn't coming for you. And every secret he divulged meant more pain for you. You took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare yourself for what you were about to endure.

"Well, shit," Rumlowe exclaimed in disbelief. "I guess he doesn't care about you as much as I thought he did...maybe I'm torturing the wrong girl! Think he's got a side piece?" he asked with a deep laugh. His phone buzzed again and with that, a vicious cycle began.

Rumlowe's phone would buzz, he would see that Bucky had given up HYDRA intel, and you'd face Rumlowe's wrath.

Buzz. Arm burned with a lighter.

Buzz. Stab wound to the thigh.

Buzz. Strangled with a garrote.

Buzz. Hit with an electrified baton.

//////////

"Time couldn't be moving any fucking slower," Bucky thought. He hadn't heard anything from Nat, Sam, or anyone else on the team. Rumlowe hadn't sent him anything else. And the Security Council was taking their sweet fucking time with their questioning. Every time he thought it was over, they would come up with another question or ask him to elaborate on a past answer. Every piece of information he gave them caused the pit in his stomach to get bigger and deeper and darker. He was coming out of his skin and could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

All he wanted was to run out of the room and find you. He wanted to save you and keep you safe forever. He couldn't believe that he was in this stupid meeting while you were being held against your will. Bucky looked around at the Security Council. He scanned each member for any sign that they might be the one working for HYDRA and corresponding with Rumlowe, but his search came up empty.

He was going to kill Rumlowe. He was going to pull out every ounce of Winter Soldier training he'd receive and destroy Brock Rumlowe until there was nothing left of him.

Bucky's phone buzzed in his pocket. He knew he shouldn't look at it during the meeting but there was no way he was going to ignore it. He pulled it out just enough to see that Sam had texted him two words: "Got her".

Relief flooded his body knowing that Sam and the team had gotten you out of there. His relief was short lived as he wondered what condition you were in. His thoughts started racing and he began to spiral in despair. Sam hadn't said that you were okay or even alive. Why didn't he said 'she's okay' instead of 'got her'? Bucky thought. What if she didn't make it and Sam had recovered your body? What if-

His anxious thoughts were halted by someone speaking. "And with that," the head of the Security Council announced, "this meeting is adjourned. James Buchanan Barnes, you have fulfilled all agreed upon terms relating to your pardon from the United States Government. As of this moment, said pardon is official in the eyes of the court."

Bucky couldn't even celebrate or relish in the moment. He ran from the room and dialed Sam's number.

//////////

The abuse continued for what seemed like days. You felt like you'd been hit by a train. Every buzz from Rumlowe's phone made you flinch as you braced yourself for what was coming. He noticed your reaction to every buzz and lowered his face down to yours. "Oh, princess, don't worry. I'm sure they've only got a few...hundred more questions for Barnes," he joked.

You didn't know which action had knocked you unconscious. Was it your head hitting the concrete when Rumlowe basically threw you across the room? Or was it lack of oxygen from his hands gripping your neck and squeezing ever tighter? You weren't sure. But you were thankful for it. Coming in and out of consciousness was far better than being awake the entire time. At least you got little breaks from the torture this way.

You were confused when you heard the voices. Were they real? Or were you hallucinating? And if you were hallucinating, that couldn't be a good sign. "Am I dying?" you thought. You weren't scared of dying, but you were sad- sad for Bucky. You knew he'd feel like this was all his fault. He'd never forgive himself if you didn't make it through this alive. Hot tears filled your eyes. Goddamn, you loved Bucky so much. You realized that if you were in fact dying, you'd never see him again. And that was the scariest thought you'd had all day.

Rumlowe's head snapped in the direction of the voices, meaning they weren't hallucinations. They were definitely real and sounded familiar to you. "What the fuck is that?" Rumlowe groaned. He turned to face the metal door and before he could reach out for the handle it swung open.

You'd never been so happy to see Sam and Nat. They exploded through the door with a swarm of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in tow. In what seemed like seconds, Nat had Rumlowe on the floor with her foot on his back.

Sam sprinted over to you and freed you from your restraints. "Hey, hey, Y/N. Look at me" Sam whispered as he held your face in his hands. "H-hey, Sam" you croaked. "G-good to see ya". He chuckled and lifted you from your chair. "Let's get you out of here," he said as you drifted out of consciousness.

//////////

Bucky ran faster than he ever had before. He was scanning the numbers on the outside of each hospital room in search of yours. He turned the corner and spotted two guards standing outside a hospital room; that had to be yours.

The guards let him in and he saw you laying there in the bed. You were attached to a heart monitor and multiple IVs, and your small body was littered with dark bruises and more stitches than he'd ever seen. He was frozen in the doorway. He wanted nothing more than to go to you and be by your side, but he couldn't move. He was paralyzed. Seeing you in this state was the most painful thing he'd ever experienced.

You began to stir in your bed and it brought him back to reality. He moved swiftly to your bedside and took your hand. He couldn't believe that he hadn't been there for you when you needed him most. He had put you in danger just by being with you. He felt guilt coursing through his veins.

The only thing that stopped him from spiraling was your hand moving in his.

//////////

Your eyes fluttered open and the harsh fluorescent lights made them sting. Pain radiated through your body. Your head was pounding and every breath was agonizing. But then you saw Bucky.

He was sitting on your right side, holding your hand in his. You gave his fingers a weak squeeze and his head shot up. His deep blue eyes were red rimmed and you could tell he'd cried recently. He leaned down and gave you the gentlest kiss possible on the forehead.

"H-hey, doll," was all he could get out. There was clearly a lump in his throat that he couldn't speak over. You smiled and couldn't believe how good it felt to see him by your side. It took a few moments for you to get past the pain in your throat left behind by Rumlowe's grip. When you finally did you were able to whisper, "h-hey, Buck".

He smiled when he heard his name come out of your mouth. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours and taking in a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there," he murmured.

You raised one hand to the side of his face and stroked his stubble. "you're here now," you whispered.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 24: OH...HI

after months and too much longing, you finally meet corpse in person.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 3.8k

author’s note: we did it joe.

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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You woke up. That’s a lie, you didn’t sleep. Too much to plan, too much can go wrong and you’re...Not nervous, no, that’s not quite accurate. Excited. Yes, excited, so excited that two Redbulls and three coffees (so far!) make you jitter around the apartment like a butterfly that can’t find a flower bed to rest on. 

Rae has almost had enough of your...random spurts of energy. So what if you ran a few laps, climbed a few tables, sang karaoke a bit too loud and yet another noise complaint had been issued? It arrived exactly an hour after your concert via your displeased landlord. Rae was, of course, the one to apologize because you were too busy trying on miniskirts. After that ordeal was taken care of, no sooner than Rae shut the front door with an exhausted sigh, you emerged from your room clad in your prettiest outfit. You present it to her with a bright smile and flourish. 

She is not impressed.

“Will you quit it?” She questions, arms crossed over her chest. Your grin does not damper -- you’re used to such harsh treatment, having accepted her backhanded way of showing love long ago. Instead, you flick your wrists, showing off an ungodly amount of rings. You’re not certain of the exact number because you can’t count, “Y/n.” Her voice gains an edge, but you persist. Show off your shoes that have cute lil’ charms that jingle jangle not unlike the spurs on a hot cowgirl’s boots, “Y/n.” Her eyes narrow in displeasure, her stern tone making you falter in your dramatic stride down the imaginary catwalk, “Just stop.”

Okay! So maybe you’re not as used to her coldness as you thought you were. Your expression sours, and you quit the act, even if a part of you - one you barely fight off, goodness, you almost perish in that battle - wants to continue but even more annoying. As if you could somehow block her rationality with manic energy. 

“What?” You ask, trying to keep the mood lighthearted despite her squared shoulders and tight frown, “I’m just having a bit of fun!” You say with a joyous little laugh, reaching for a glass of much needed water.

“No, you’re panicking.” Her words make the glass still, hoovering by your painted lips, but it’s short lived. You take a greedy gulp and it tastes fresh with a pinch of lipstick, “Look, I get it...” She shakes her head softly, “You’re meeting the guy you like for the first time, you jumped the gun straight to dating and now you’re...Anxious. It’s normal, you know.”

“But I’m not anxious.” You persist, and you really do mean it. You don’t like how she looks at you as if you’re the one that’s misunderstanding your own feelings. You set the glass down with a soft clink, heaving your own sigh, “I’m not, I’m really happy actually.” You explain softly, “It’s just...my way of dealing with it. I’m more... Worried about Corpse, to be honest.” You add, a tad quieter, “But, like, it’s all good!” You exclaim, strolling up to her and landing your hands on her shoulders, “I prepared.”

And it’s true! You had spent the night scouring the depths of the internet. Read every WikiHow article on how to deal with someone with extreme anxiety, how to not make things painfully awkward, and how to talk to boys (just in case. The last time you stumbled upon that particular article was way back in middle school when you had a crush on that one guy you saw in your school’s cafeteria every now and then. Naturally, that led you down the rabbit hole, and according to WikiHow’s How To Tell If A Boy Likes You guidebook, you found out that he was absolutely enamored with you because he glanced in your direction, like, two times. Safe to say that love story went nowhere. The point still stands). 

So you forward all of this information to Rae, nestled in her bed whilst she lazily folds her clothes; clarify that you know that nothing much can happen, and that this whole situation is delicate, and that you must tread carefully because you don’t want to overwhelm him. She pauses her actions, glancing behind her to watch you staring idly at the ceiling, so peaceful, so thoughtful. And it’s not the eerie calmness you had displayed during your murderous spree in the last Among Us game, no, it’s just...quiet understanding. 

“I’m actually impressed.” She says. You merely hum, counting the dust slowly descending in the cascading light, “You’re not as clueless as I thought.” Your lips quirk into a shy smile at the compliment- “Or as tactless.” - and turn downward just as quick.

“That implies that I’m always tactless.”

“You are.” She states and you sit up, a soft frown pinching your brows, “Not like, in a terrible way. You just...don’t think about your actions. Or the repercussions. You just know that you can get away with everything.”

“And I can!”

“That doesn’t actually mean you should do something just because you can. You know I’ll always support you. Literally everyone will always support you. But I’m not gonna coddle you. You’re just...a lot. Online and especially in person. But the fact that you’re actually taking this seriously and taking his feelings into consideration is...well, the bare minimum, but still, good job.”

...Much to think about. You don’t like thinking, it makes your head hurt. Though, that could just be the lack of sleep. You cross your legs and plop your head in your hand, tired eyes blinking owlishly, “Do you...think I should change what I’m wearing?”

Prompted by your question, she gives you a careful once over, “I mean, it’s signature you.”

“Signature me is a hoodie and some sweatpants.”

She smiles, “Then go change. Your outfit is a bit distracting for just...Hanging out indoors, no? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind either way, though.”

“I just...” You bite the inside of your cheek, mulling your words over. Truly, the last time you were so attentive was when you went Psycho Mode in Among Us, which, to be fair, wasn’t that long ago. Perhaps there wasn’t a chance to let your mind dull - it’s almost as sharp as your butterfly knife, “I figured that if, like,” You vaguely motion with your hands, “if I be, like, all over the place, and wearing something cute, he’d be, like, distracted? And less anxious? No...awkward silence?”

“First meetings are always awkward, it’s natural.” She chimes, “I mean, if you’re so nervous-”

“I’m not nervous!”

“-then just don’t overthink it. I know it’s easier said than done, but you’re you, and Corpse is Corpse, and he likes you for who you are, and even if it is a bit awkward, I’m sure it’ll, like, blow over in a second. It really doesn’t matter how you look, Y/n.” She grins, “Plus, it’s not like you’re greeting him in your underwear or something.”

You will not admit that that was your plan B, not when you just landed in her good graces. You nod, “...I’ll go change.” 

And so you do. Pick out your cutest hoodie and some sweatpants. Put away your jingle jangle shoes with a broken heart, instead of them donning your fluffiest socks; slip off some rings because they keep falling off of your fingers. It’s almost like all of those transformation scenes in rom-coms that are still popular for some reason, except you’re hot before and after, so there’s really no transformation at all. 

Now you wait. Just wait, all other activities are excluded from this. Rae comes back to find you sitting on the edge of your bed, back straight, hands neatly folded on your lap. She compares you to a Sim’s character and you allow her. After mercilessly mocking you and snapping a few pictures - for blackmail, you assume - she helpfully informs that she is leaving because she doesn’t want to get in the way, but your psychic abilities which you acquired just now tell you that she simply doesn’t want to witness this train wreck. Not that it’ll be a train wreck, it would be if you were nervous, but you aren’t. 

You just aren’t. You fidget with the rings adoring your hand; toy with the hem of your hoodie; bounce your leg up and down. It’s just caffeine, okay?! Fuck this, Twitter time.

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[ADDING A MUSICAL INTERMISSION, LISTEN TO THIS IF YOU WANT (I WROTE THIS CHAPTER WITH IT IN MIND)]

The waiting commences, only now it somehow feels more intense. The sun is setting, and you really want to be one of those cute girls that fill their camera roll with pictures of the sunset and the roseate sky, but your hands are trembling and holding up your phone feels like too much of a hassle. You’d rather just sit there, alone in the apartment, in the pin-drop silence, extremely uncomfy and tense, as if waiting for the end of the world. 

A notification sounds off and your life flashes before your eyes. Hastily, you check it, a sticky mixture of delight and something else, something unpleasant constricting, making your stomach churn. He’s here. Holy shit, it’s happening. You order your anime plushies to stop fucking panicking, they’re like, totally embarrassing you at the moment! You wonder if they have their own little group chat, but instead of Totally Spies it’s called Total Embarrassment. Yikes, okay, that was harsh. After a good scolding, and a heartfelt apology for getting so heated, you smooth down the non-existent wrinkles on your modest outfit, and quickly waddle over to the electronic apartment thingie something something... you unlock the main door, okay!? This is for some reason feeling very not cash money, so you break out in a little dance number.

The doorbell does not sing that shrill, unpleasant tune; rather, there’s a soft knock on the apartment’s door, and you pause your shuffling, your renegade, and perk up at the imposing future hidden behind a slab of wood. Your heart beats a melody all on it’s own, and it’s loud, uncoordinated, like a musician that’s still familiarizing themselves with their instrument. And there’s that knock again, as uncertain as you’re feeling, and your clammy fingers latch onto the lock and turn it and now there is no more hiding - such a possibility is no longer an option; no more sporadic dances or sitting in disheartening silence and letting your thoughts weight you down.

You’re not quite sure what you were thinking about before you saw him in the threshold, head tilted slightly, fluffy dark hair obscuring the bags under his eyes, hunched, one ringed hand clutching onto the strap of his duffel bag, the other frozen mid-air, ready to knock one more time lest you didn’t hear him the first two. No, truly, you can’t, for the life of you, remember what all the fuss was about. 

“...Oh.” It’s a soft sound, so quiet, but not surprised, rather...relieved. Faint shimmers of a smile reach you, hidden behind a black face mask - the panini chic! You must stan a respectful king - but there’s something about the way he looks at you that makes you question it’s sincerity. He fails to return your gaze, rather choosing to stare somewhere over your shoulder. His eyes seem unfocused. Apprehensive. A wild thought occurs to you that he expected you to trick him somehow, and wild thoughts invade the land of your mind often, but never in such a way. You clutch the handle just a bit tighter.

His hand retreats to his side, up to his mask and you think he’s about to unhook it but he stills, and there’s panic there, as if he had been moving unconsciously, as if he hadn’t realized what he’s doing. He plays it off by idly scratching his cheek, muttering an equally quiet, “Hi.” to fill the silence.

Finally, your WikiHow knowledge can come in handy, along with your common sense, “Hey, pretty boy.” You mutter, pulling away from the door, “Make yourself at home!” You slide to the kitchen, your socks acting not unlike ice-skates cutting through the Arctic frost covered ground. You hope that with you occupied and not watching him as closely he’ll feel slightly more at ease. 

You’d like to hug him. Kiss him, definitely. But if he’s so uncomfortable that he can’t bring himself to shed his mask in your presence, then there’s really nothing you can do. 

You hear the door shut and lock behind you as you pull out two glasses from the cupboard, humming a song you can’t quite recall the name of. You ask him if he’d like something to drink - it was a short flight, yet a flight still, and planes always make you thirsty, and there you go talking his ear off. You end abruptly, but smoothly, like a true diplomat; if he notices, you have no way of knowing - he doesn’t provide even a hint. He’s hard to read, and literature was never your best subject. But you’re trying.

He sets his duffel bag down on a nearby chair, “I, uhhh,” His voice is raspy and low, another indication of a pathetic lack of sleep, “I...got you something, uhh, I dunno-dunno if I should...give it now, or?” He sends you a questioning glance, but it doesn’t linger. Your offer of drinks is momentarily forgotten, though you hardly mind. 

You grin, “Sure! I love gifts, gimmie gimmie.” You make grabby hands, and he snorts, and it would’ve sounded endearing if he didn’t sound so fucking tired. He unzips the bag, and you pad your way to him, mindful of personal space (something you, in most social situations, chose to pretend does not exist). You note his hands quivering lightly, just like yours had in the agonizing wait, but he hides it well. You wish you could hold them. You’re afraid to try.

He pulls out a black hoodie and you recognize the custom art on it instantly - it’s his merch. He presents it in awkward flourish, murmuring a “Tadaaaa” under his breath; your heart skips a pleasant beat, and you have to bite down on your lower lip lest you smile appears too big. The fabric is soft under your fingers, and you accept his gift with a dramatic bow, and he turns his head away with another little laugh. You’re chipping away at the ice around him; it’s a slow process, but it’s worth the effort.

Truly, your own hoodie is shabby in comparison - icky, how could you have ever worn such a thing in the first place?! You’ll have to do extensive research in fashion magazines and Printerest so such a slip-up may never happen again. You discard it hastily and put his on instead; it smells like washing detergent with hints of cologne, one you instantly pin point belonging to him, “It’s, uhhh, it’s mine? I hope you, uhh, I didn’t have any spare ones, so-I hope you don’t...mind.”

He’s finally looking at you, but he’s still tense, still hesitant, and you shake your head softly, “No,” You admit, “I like it even more now.” You pull on the hood, toy with the strings and yank them quickly; your face is concealed, save for your nose, “Comfy.” Your commentary is unmatched, best of it’s kind - eloquent and effortless, much like yourself.

Another small laugh reaches your ears, and it sounds a bit livelier than the others had been. Success!

“Stop that.” He says gently, and you see moving shadows; his hands loosen the strings and your face is revealed to him once again. He’s close now, and he doesn’t move away; his hands come to rest on your shoulders, warm even through layers of fabric, “I came all this way to see you, don’t hide your face from me.” 

Your eyes narrow playfully, your finger rapidly tapping away on his clothed cheek, “What’s all this then? Hm? Hm?” Instead of swatting your hand away, which you figured he’d do, he complies and finally tugs that fucking mask off. Your breath catches in the back of your throat and you halt your ministrations - truly, seeing him smiling on screen is nothing compared to him smiling in person. You can’t quite contain yourself any longer - your excitement might burst out in another dance number otherwise - as you throw your arms over his shoulders and pull him flush against you. He’s quick to return the embrace. Maybe it was all the encouragement he needed.

“Wow,” He mumbles, only slightly offended, “so I finally show my face to you, in person, and you just-...you just look away?”

“I’m hugging you, dumbass.”

“...Touche.”

Things fall into place after that, like a dozen puzzle pieces fitting together. He won’t let you go - he doesn’t want to. You put on some music, something easy and indie and that doesn’t require too much effort to listen to, as the two of you contemplate what to eat. Cooking by yourselves was dismissed due to the unstable relationship between yourself and cooking utensils. The stove and you had had a falling out recently, but this feud had started long ago, back in pre-school, with only short intervals of friendship. He listened to your extensive explanation absolutely enraptured and only moderately confused. 

So you settled on ordering pizza from Domino’s. You have no trouble calling or receiving phone calls, because you have no trouble doing anything, and he admitted that he only really calls you because he gets too anxious to do more, so you’re tasked with ordering the food. You accept this mission with pride.

You stand tall, gazing out the window into the wild California domain: massive buildings and towering eucalyptus trees, bleeding skyline and the sun slowly getting swallowed up by the ocean. Corpse looms behind you, with his arms snaked around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder, looking at you through the corner of his eye. You wait patiently for the underpaid, overworked staff member to pick up, and once they do, you have the audacity to grin brightly and chirp, “Hi! I want pizza.”

Conversations flow smoothly, and you make hot chocolate - because you are hot and you crave chocolate - and he insists he wants one too, because you want one, and you don’t hesitate to overflow his cup with whipped cream and an ungodly amount of miniature marshmallows. A premature heart attack, just for him. Whoever said romance is dead has clearly never met you. When the doorbell chimes, you’re astounded that an hour flew by so quickly.

After the delicious meal, the movie night must commence. So what if you watched 10 Things I hate About You yesterday, you insist that you have already forgotten the plot. You lead him to your room and he tries not to stare, but can’t help himself. Pretty boy in a pretty girl’s room. His eyes linger on the massive posters of Chrollo on your walls, and you sense his displeasure rolling off of him in waves. 

“What?” You huff, fluffing the pillows, “You don’t like my husband?”

He jabs his finger into his chest, into the spot of his heart, “I’m your husband.”

“Side hoe, then-”

“-No.”

You didn’t lie when you said you love to cuddle, or that you’re clingy. It’s a good thing he’s just as clingy as you are, because when he lays down and you latch onto his side. He doesn’t complain, rather wraps his arm around pulls you close. His thumb draws lazy circles on your side; with your head resting on his chest, you feel each rhythmical rise and drop. 

The opening credits play on the projector, the room dark enough for your pile of plushies to look like a whole fucking human just standing in the corner. A ghost! Sucks for it, you’re not scared. You feel safe. Protected. So comfortable in Corpse’s hold that you’re honestly wondering how did you manage to be so long without him. To think all of this started when Sykkuno followed you on Twitter. What a lucky accident.

“Can I ask you something?” Your voice cuts through the bopping 90s soundtrack and Julia Stiles’ voice. He hums. You take it as a yes. Tilting your head upwards, you find his eyes again, a thorn of displeasure picking you as you note that that apprehension you had seen previously is still very much there, “...You really wouldn’t date me if I was a worm?”

His chest rumbles with a laugh and his lips split into a grin, “I would.” He presses your side for emphasis, “I really would.” He repeats, reassuringly. You, however, are not convinced.

“But I’d be a worm.”

“I know. We’d... roll around in the dirt together, or something.”

“But you’d be human.”

He frowns softly, “Why couldn’t I be a worm, too?”

“Those are the rules.”

“What kind of shitty fucking rules are those?”

“I dunno, it’s like the Thanos snap or something. I just turn into a worm. I’m the only one.”

“That’s fine.” He smiles, “I’d take you out on a fishing date or something.”

Shocked, offended, and heartbroken, you hit his chest and pointedly turn away with a pout, which he finds very funny for some reason, but you fail to see the humor anywhere except the movie. Despite the fact that he’d sacrifice you for a fish, you smile shyly and close your eyes. He did say you would take a nap together, and if he really thought you’d stay awake for movie night, well, then he’s just an idiot. You had decided you would fall asleep as soon as he was next to you. It’s a miracle you managed to stay awake for so long.

“...Sleeping already?” You don’t appreciate his teasing tone.

“’m not sleeping...” You murmur, “’m resting my eyes.”

“Sure.”

You’re not quite certain (of anything, really) how much time drifts by, but you’re nearly lost in unconsciousness, in the warm, nice feeling that comes along with him like a cloud. Perhaps he thinks you’re asleep, he has to, else he wouldn’t say anything at all, “You’re stuck with me now, you know.” It’s such a soft admission, riddled with the same notes of anxiety that always prevail in his speech; with the same hopeful sincerity he had been gazing at you the whole evening. 

Moving your lips is such a hassle, but you manage, “’m...stuck...” You mumble, “’m...stuck...what are you doing step-”

“No!” He laughs, and your lips quirk into a lazy smile, “No, no, no. Just no. Do you talk in your sleep?” You fake snore at that, loudly, “You’re like a little dragon.”

“...Fuck you.”

“Fine, a kitten, then.” That’s better. You feel something chapped, but soft, press onto your forehead, “Goodnight, Y/n.”

God, you’re so fucking happy. Does he know how happy you are? How happy he makes you? But you’re too tired for screaming and flailing around, too tired to even crack an eye open. You want him to know all the same, “...like you.” You whisper, but you don’t know if he hears you over the movie, “...I like you.”

His reply is instant, breathless, “I like you too.”

Good, you want to say, and maybe you do - can’t tell anymore. Sleep takes you too quickly.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙