#I’m getting so distrusting of popular recommendations

[gaylittleguys]

book musings don’t mind me

I was really so disappointed with the long way to a small angry planet. As soon as I identified WHY it was bothering me, I just started getting so annoyed I just returned it without finishing it. I didn’t want to be disappointed because I really loved the setup and the characters, and thought it had so much potential! But I really just couldn’t get over the way it was written, and the way it felt like Nothing actually happened ever, despite there being SO MANY things that were happening. It just felt like none of it mattered? Things would come up and be resolved with a neat little moral or something to say and that’s it. But I was over halfway through the book, and I don’t think I learned more about anybody than I did in the first couple chapters. It felt so devoid of any conflict or imperfection that it just wasn’t interesting lmao. There was a review that compared it to a tv show like Firefly, and Yeah. It felt like it was trying to be an episodic tv show, with fun little side adventures with the same cast, but that’s not what I want out of a book! I’d go watch a show for that!! I want a cohesive story PLEASE. There was just too many offshoots and too many side plots that I just didn’t care and none of them were interesting. Which is a shame because the world building was very compelling and I Wanted to be invested, but there was just barely any focus on the interesting plot points. I just had such a hard time with it, and I couldn’t finish it. I skimmed through the rest of the book to see if it got more interesting, but it seemed like it was just more disconnected side stories. Which was maybe the point, but it just felt like….. uninteresting. There was nothing to be invested in.

[loganhowlettshousewife]

the librarian

logan howlett x latina!reader

summary: after the events of logan (2017), in a world where logan survives, he and laura move to a small town to start a new life. laura quickly becomes very attached to the librarian, and seeing you with his daughter makes logan fall hard.

warnings: swearing, insecurity on logan's part, potentially slightly out of character but i’m choosing to believe that logan softens up a bit after laura

this is the longest oneshot i've ever written so please be kind because it took a lot of time. my first language is not english, so please do not be rude when offering feedback. i am also not latina, so feel free to offer constructive criticism if you notice anything wrong in the fic.

special thank you to @raeinyourdreams for the spanish dialogue.

series masterlist - my masterlist

you love your job. the library is quiet, peaceful, and you spend every day surrounded by your favourite thing: books. those who come to the library are typically kind, hardly do you have to deal with rude comments or entitled behaviour. you get to plan fun events for the towns kids and toddlers to introduce them to the joys of reading. and on every school day, between 3:00 and 4:00 pm, you get to see laura howlett.

the first time she came into the library, it wasn’t planned. you live in a small town, with an even smaller school, and when laura’s dad failed to show up on time to pick her up, she was sent over to the library next door. she’d stomped through the automatic doors, her small frame tense with irritation, her jaw clenched, slamming her bag down on the ground beside her as she sat down at one of the small circular tables set up in a corner of the small building.

she crossed her arms and stared at the door as if her dad might finally show up if she thought about it hard enough, never sparing you a second glance. so you’d left her alone to stew in her rage, putting away books from the return pile, glancing at the clock every few minutes.

you couldn’t hide your staring when her (extremely attractive) dad finally showed up, heavy footfalls crossing the doorstep and thick, tanned biceps filling your vision. laura cursed at him in rapid spanish, and he grumbled that he didn’t understand a word she was saying. you giggled to yourself at the thought that you never would have gotten away with using such language at her age.

the next time you saw her was a week later, and this time, despite her heavy glare and intense ‘don’t talk to me’ attitude, you approached her. her gaze was suspicious and distrusting as you spoke, asking her in your native tongue if she wanted a book to read while she waited. she’d stared at you for a long minute before saying, “¿hablas español?”

she slowly opened up to you after that, like a flower blossoming in the springtime, short sentences turning into longer rants, into admittance of her inner thoughts and worries and struggles. you give her book recommendations that are popular within her age group and help her with her homework when she struggles with the material, translating words she doesn't understand perfectly. in return, she tells you about her school and home life, about how she’d moved here with her dad, about how she’s only really known him a few months.

you don’t know her past, only the glimpses she’s given you here and there, anecdotes she drops into conversations before changing the subject just as quickly, but you know that she’s struggled with adjusting to all the changes in her life. you’re grateful that she’s allowed you such insight into her mind, that you can help her even in small ways. you can’t help it - she’s wormed her way into your heart, with her quick quips and short temper and snide comments.

“¿crees que mi papá es guapo?” she asks you suddenly. it’s an evening like any other, the two of you working through her science homework together. you choke on your saliva as an image of logan howlett flashes through your mind, his stern face and the hard intensity of his eyes, his large stature and broad back that you always watch, entranced, when he walks out of the library with laura in tow.

“¿por qué preguntas?” you ask her instead of answering as you erase a mistake on her paper, blowing away the leftover scraps the eraser leaves behind.

“las mamás de thea estaban hablando de lo guapo que es.” laura replies, a grimace twisting her face. her eyes narrow as she observes your carefully blank expression. “¿tu opinas igual?”

you shake your head, clacking your tongue against your teeth, “mejor concéntrate en tu tarea.”

the howletts live two houses down from you, on a street of mismatched suburban houses and carefully manicured lawns. sometimes you’ll see logan outside, smoking a cigar on the porch in a thin wife-beater that shows off his large arms, watchful gaze observing the neighbourhood as though surveying the area for potential threats. 

he seems oblivious to the stares he receives from both women and men passing by, walking their dogs or going for a jog, faltering when they pass his house, interest and attraction and jealousy, staring for a few moments too long to be casual. he never gives any of them the time of day, doesn’t respond to their small-talk questions or smiles. his frown just deepens, putting emphasis on the lines that mark his face, a physical manifestation of a life of constant worry and pain.

you’re admiring him from afar as you often do, peering through the window above your sink as you rinse your dishes, when you notice a gorgeous woman approaching his house. she’s all long legs and glowing dark skin, walking right up to him with all the confidence in the world.

and logan howlett, the brooding, mysterious man who keeps to himself and hardly interacts with anyone unless absolutely necessary, smiles at her. it’s a barely-there expression, a softening of his usual gruff persona and resting bitch face, but you notice it nonetheless. the woman is clearly emboldened by his response and leans into his space as she speaks, pressing a hand to his bicep, skin against skin, mouth moving in words you can’t hear.

you look away, pulling the curtains closed on the window, preferring to watch the pale fabric sway slightly than whatever interaction is happening there. you scrub your dishes a little harder than necessary after that, but no one is there to see it but you.

laura packs up her bag, shoving the papers inside randomly, no reason or order to it. you grit your teeth at the thought of how wrinkled and disorganised it’ll all be later, when she needs to find something specific or when it comes time to hand in her work to her teacher, but you keep your mouth diligently shut, because if there’s one thing you know about laura, it’s that she’s stubborn and temperamental and doesn’t take well to criticism.

logan stands beside the front desk, not far from where you’re flipping through the pile of books that had been returned while you were busy with laura, his hands on his hips as he watches her somehow both rush through the task and simultaneously take much too long to complete it. there’s obvious adoration in his eyes, a fondness that can’t be faked by the best of actors.

“do you-,” he starts, stops, an unfinished question that lasts a few seconds while he chases the right words, “laura really likes havin’ you around. talks about you a lot when you’re gone. so i - uh - wanted to invite you over to dinner. no pressure.”

you beam, books all but forgotten, “really?”

he grunts in response, shrugging. it’s not much as far as responses go, not terribly enthusiastic, but he wouldn’t have brought it up to you if he was against the idea, you assume. so you place a hand on his arm, more for your sake than his, enjoying the feeling of his sun-warmed skin and the smooth dark hair against your fingertips, catching his attention so his eyes fall on you instead of laura.

you think of the woman you’d seen speaking to him a few days ago, and a thrill runs through you, a stupidly possessive thrill that you have no right to feel. there’s nothing going on between you and logan, just mutual care for a troubled girl who hasn’t made any friends in school even after weeks.

this is for her, you tell yourself. to make sure she has a support system, people she trusts, to hopefully get her to open herself up to the possibility of other relationships, friendships with children her age who can help her learn what it means to let go and be a child for a bit. but in your mind, there’s still a rather large part of you preening at the fact that you’re going to have dinner at the howlett’s, and you bet that other woman can’t say the same.

“just let me know when,” you say, “i’m not typically very busy so whatever works on your schedule.”

“¿podría ser hoy?” laura asks, bounding up to the two of you, “porfis.”

you can’t say no to her wide eyes and hopeful smile, so you close up the library early. it’s fine, you live in a small town and no one ever really visits the library late at night anyway. the only person who may want to visit has her own key, a copy you’d made after finding the same teenage girl sleeping on the floor of the library six days in a row, having broken into the building each time.

it’s a short walk to the howlett’s house, laura talking your ear off the entire way there, ignoring the looks logan shoots her when she inevitably switches into spanish seemingly without noticing. but you know what it’s like to speak more than one language, you know the way conversations flit in and out between languages, and you can tell it’s often purposeful, done to get a rise out of logan.

“it’s good that you can understand her,” logan says as he unlocks the front door, his daughter running into the house and leaving the two of you behind, “i can’t, half the time. probably makes me sound like a shit dad.”

“it doesn’t,” you assure him, “laura talks about you all the time when you’re not around and she thinks you’re wonderful. she said you’ve only been in her life a few months? you can’t be expected to learn a whole language in that time.”

logan ignores your praise just as you’d expected him to do, “i think you remind her of home. it was fucked up but there were good parts. and i took her away from there. i did it for her but she still had to leave everythin’ and everyone she knew.”

“i’ll gladly be that piece of home if she needs it,” you say softly, “you got her out of a bad place. i don’t know much but i know that. her home is wherever you are.”

talking to logan is frighteningly easy, and the conversation continues as he heads into the kitchen. their house is nice, clean but sparsely decorated, not the artfully minimalist look of a magazine cover but rather the home of someone who never really knew how to settle down, how to allow a place to become more than just a shell, a temporary refuge to eventually be left behind. it screams logan, and makes you wonder what exactly he’s been through. 

but laura’s things are strewn around the place, a jacket of hers thrown on the couch, comic books that have seen better days piled on the coffee table, school papers on the countertop. it chases away the cold feeling that would otherwise linger between these walls.

you help logan cook, not willing to stand around doing nothing while you wait for the food to be ready. you admit to him that you’re surprised at his talent in the kitchen, and for a moment his jaw tenses like he’s going to tell you something difficult but he doesn’t. his arm brushes against yours as you hand him the spices that he requests, and goosebumps raise on your arms at the feeling.

laura eats like she hasn’t had food in days, and says the meal tastes better because you helped make it, which makes you laugh and logan roll his eyes. chiding laura on her table manners reminds you of your childhood, and an image flashes in your mind, unbidden, of you in this very same setting but as laura’s mother and logan’s wife.

it’s a vision you push away, one you’ll allow to linger as you’re falling asleep but that has no place in your thoughts now.

“next time we should do this at my house,” you comment, without really thinking over your words, your attention on laura and logan’s hand that lingers close to your thigh under the table, not touching you but present enough to offer a good distraction, “to make things fair, i mean.”

“next time?” logan repeats, and you falter, realising what you’d offered. there’s a familiarity in the way you’d made the offer, a throwaway comment, a familiarity that doesn’t exist between you and logan - at least not yet.

“if you’d want,” you offer slowly, “and if laura wants. i just - had fun tonight. it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to do it again.”

and you do. approximately once a week you start to have dinner with the howletts, switching between their place and yours. they’re a familiar presence in your life now, enough that you don’t startle when one of them sneaks up behind you, impossibly light on their feet, the stealth of hunters stalking their prey. you’d told this to logan and he’d raised an eyebrow at you and smirked but refused to explain his reaction to your words.

you start to teach logan recipes from your childhood, the sweet spices and flavours that bring you back to being laura’s age filling the kitchen. you argue with logan about not needing a recipe, saying you just know when it’s right.

though she never comments on it, you see the way laura’s smile brightens every time you place a dish on the table. you hope it brings her a modicum of comfort, reminds her of her place of birth the way it always does for you.

you haven’t felt so free in a long time, and you come to the belated realisation that you’ve been lonely lately, something you can only differentiate now that you feel it shifting. you love your friends but they have busy lives of their own, and you love your library but books can’t compensate for human contact, try as you might. 

“te noto estresada,” laura comments, poking your hand when you stare off into space for the third time that day.

“lo estoy,” you respond, “se averió una tubería y ahora tengo que llamar al plomero, pero no quiero..”

most kids wouldn’t care to have a conversation about these more monotonous, adult subjects, but laura pauses in her homework to give it a genuine reflection. she taps the eraser-end of her pencil against the table, nodding to herself like she’s just come up with an obvious solution.

“no tienes que. mi papá sabe reparar cosas,” she says, “pídele el favor.”

you hate to take advice from a child, even if that child is laura, who often acts much older than her age, and you hate to bother logan even more, but you don’t make much as a librarian and if there’s any way to save some extra money, you’re willing to embarrass yourself in front of the hot man you may have a slight crush on. 

you broach the topic when he comes to pick her up as usual, and to your surprise, he agrees easily. you don’t even have to ask the question, as soon as he’s heard the problem he’s offering up his help.

he shows up at your house later that night, deeming it fine to leave laura home alone since there’s only a 40% chance she’ll break something. he’s dressed in only a thin wife-beater, biceps on full display as he hunches under your sink, the muscles in his back flexing as he works. you stay in the kitchen, using the excuse that you should make sure he’s not making it worse, but spend the entire time staring at the shape of him, large and broad and everything you want.

“thank you,” you tell him when he’s finished, handing him a beer that you’d bought specifically for when he showed up at your place.

“no problem,” he says, shrugging, not making eye contact with you in a way that’s uncharacteristic of him, “no point havin’ you pay someone to do it when i can do it just fine.”

“but you had no obligation to help me,” you remind him softly.

“you help me all the time,” he responds gruffly, “you deal with laura’s shit and don’t complain. you spend time with us even if you got your own life to worry about. it’s only fair.”

you frown at that, “i enjoy spending time with you, logan. it’s not a favour of some kind that you have to repay.”

he grunts an acknowledgement that you don’t quite believe, quiet as he finishes the rest of his beer, and then he’s gone.

it’s hard not to know everyone in a small town, forcing you to make polite small talk with people you walk by who ask about your life and your family and friends and how’s your job going? it’s frustrating, one of the reasons you plan your errands for later in the evening, when the crowds are thinner and most of the people in the grocery store are people like you, who don’t want to be bothered, and teenagers wreaking havoc in the aisles.

you’re looking at fruit when you hear someone call your name, a voice that’s not immediately familiar, which raises alarm bells in your mind, the sound crescendoing into a siren as the click-clack of heels approaches. you resolutely keep your eyes in front of you, hoping that if you look very busy choosing avocados, perhaps you won’t be bothered.

this technique fails immediately, a woman coming up to your side and picking up the avocado you’d just put back, squeezing it to check if it’s ripe. the act is innocent, trying to put you at ease, but you know better. if she was just here to grab groceries she wouldn’t have called out your name, wouldn’t be tilting her head towards you with a saccharine smile.

you’ve seen her around, though you can’t remember her name, an older woman with two boys whose divorce was the talk of the town for a few months last year. from afar she appears put-together, dressed in business-casual attire indicating that she hadn’t had the time to change from her work clothes, blonde hair slicked back into a bun. but up close you can see the strands of hair that had begun falling out, the way her eyes were tight at the corners. a tired single mother.

you feel a pang of guilt at the way you’d immediately wanted to dismiss her, remind yourself that you have the day off tomorrow so you can sleep in, and smile at her.

“so, i heard a rumour, and you know i’m not one to gossip,” she glances your way expectantly, so you prompt her to continue, “which is why i’m asking you directly. you and logan howlett… do you have something going on?”

you pause, considering. it wouldn’t be a lie to say yes, as there is something going on between you and logan, though you know how she’ll interpret the words. you know that she would return home and immediately call everyone she knows to spread the news, and since the townspeople hadn’t left logan alone since he’d moved here, it would eventually spread to him, someone or another asking him about it, pressing for details.

“we’re… friends,” you settle on eventually, “i help laura with her homework sometimes after school and we got to know each other from that.”

it’s a truthful answer, if not deliberately vague. you hate to be the center of drama or attention - there’s a reason you chose to work at a library, quiet and unassuming and not interesting enough to be the subject of speculation.

she giggles, a true laugh, her expression softening with a hint of relief. she bumps you with her shoulder as if speaking to a longtime friend and says, “well, just between you and me, i know a lot of women who are going to be relieved to hear that.” 

you and logan grow closer, to the point where laura no longer initiates most of the time you spend together. you introduce him to your favourite movies when he mentions how long it’s been since he watched one, evenings spent giggling at the television screen while laura sleeps upstairs, having gone to bed long ago.

hours pass so quickly with logan by your side, until the sky resembles a painting, and he walks you home under the constellations of stars. he hangs by the door for a while longer, the both of you drifting, not quite ready to part ways, but you both have jobs in the morning and so you reluctantly bid him goodnight, letting the door to your home shut behind you, hiding the way you beam when he says it back.

dinner comes and goes like any other week, and soon enough you’re standing in logan’s kitchen helping him clean the dishes. this is the part where laura leaves the two of you alone, not wanting to be dragged into the chore, slipping out in that creepily silent way of hers.

there’s a tension that clings to logan tonight, a darkness that’s permeated over the evening, one you’d noticed when he’d come to pick up laura from the library and had almost said something to you but stopped. it wasn’t unusual for logan to be silent, letting you fill the majority of the conversation with your stories and laughter, responding with comments that make you laugh, proud smiles tugging on his lips when your body curls into him.

you’re not surprised when he puts the final dish in the washing machine and turns to face you, something akin to determination in his eyes, though you hardly know anything that could be the cause.

“another parent asked me out today,” he says, “the mom of someone in laura’s class.”

“oh,” you say, certain being stabbed in the heart would hurt less. you’re suddenly slightly nauseous, and you briefly consider using it as an excuse to go home early, but you’re not a coward. you won’t run from a conversation that’s inevitable.

one day logan will meet someone, whether that day is today you aren’t sure, and he’s going to fall for them. you consider the possibility that that person could be you, but you’re normally good at reading people, at seeing the subtleties in body language to indicate attraction, and logan has never given you any signs of your feelings for him being reciprocated.

it could be that he’s generally just a difficult person to read, that over the course of his life he’s had to learn to bury his emotions in a way many people don’t. it’s possible, believable even, with how long it had taken you to learn the intricacies of his expressions, the way the slightest tension between his brows could mean several different things. or, you think, he’s just not into you.

“is that good?” you ask, instead of voicing your current thoughts, which are a mantra of: fuck, fuck, no, fuck, please no.

“no,” he replies like it should be obvious, “her son is an asshole who tried to bully laura on her first day of school. she punched him.”

“good for her,” is your only reply.

you feel awful for the way his vehement denial makes you feel, a pleased warmth spreading in your stomach, a happiness you’ll carry with you all the way home. it’s not your place, and yet here you are, hoping that he doesn’t find love, thinking that you’d rather he be alone forever than with someone other than you. it’s selfish, cruel, makes it hard to keep your expression neutral over the disgust you feel at yourself rising.

logan’s watching you carefully, “it is good for her. she almost got suspended but i think even the principal was afraid of her.”

the conversation pitters out, your answering hum the only reply you can give with your mind wandering. it’s the perfect time to ask, the conversation relevant enough that it won’t be coming out of nowhere, a casual query that he can refuse to answer if he so desires.

“but otherwise,” you say, “if there was no history between her son and laura and she’d asked you out, what would you have said?”

“no,” he says again. quick, easy, painless and yet horribly painful for you.

“is there anyone in town that you’ve noticed?” you ask because you can’t help yourself, the pull of curiosity is too strong, almost as strong as the pull that always brings you into logan’s orbit when you stand close enough, bringing you unconsciously closer.

there’s a pause long enough to make your heart race, the beat so loud you can hear it ringing in your ears, a hard rhythm that’s much too rapid to be healthy. you wonder what logan can see on your face, following the way his impassive gaze traces over you, catching on your eyes and the quirk of your mouth.

when he speaks at last you can hardly hear it over the rushing sound of your anxiety. “i’ve noticed you.”

“what?”

“you,” he repeats, shrugging like it doesn’t matter, “but i’m old and worn. too much for a pretty thing like you. and there’s so much you don’t know about my life, horrible shit i’ve done that’ll make you look at me different. i’m angry and violent and i drink too much to deal with my emotions, even if i’ve cut back since laura. and her, laura. i got a kid now. can’t force that responsibility onto you too.”

you lift a hand up, silently asking him to stop, to allow you time to process the words you’re fairly certain were not a hallucination. he refuses to look at you, jaw clenched, staring instead at his hands the way one would stare at a murder weapon, an angry glare that speaks of hatred, pain and resentment.

it’s that look that makes the decision for you. you place your hand on top of his, dark glare now pointed at your hand, faltering when your fingers trace the grooves between his knuckles. you allow him a moment of silence to process, content to wait now that your mind is no longer racing, overthinking every breath and creating unlikely scenarios. rather, you feel calm, and you hope that the way you squeeze his hand transfers some of that peace to him.

“is this your version of asking me out?” you ask when his eyes lock on yours, a raging storm hiding behind the calm facade of his careful mask, “because normally people don’t try to convince the other person to say no.”

“i’m not asking anything,” he replies, voice hoarse, “i know how i feel about you. but i’m a mess and i can’t ask you to deal with that.”

“alright, well, even if you’re not asking this is me saying yes,” you tell him, turning his hand so his palm faces up, lacing your fingers together, skin still slightly damp from the washing you’d been doing.

he doesn’t let go of your hand, but he changes the subject. you don’t argue. logan has some sort of feelings for you, though he hasn’t put them into clear words, and for now, that’s enough. you can wait while he wades through whatever self-hatred spiral is happening in his mind, the excuses he’ll give you for why you can’t be together. because he was holding back before, when he’d explained why he wasn’t good enough for you. he’d forced himself to stop talking, but you can tell there’s more behind that angry rant.

so instead of pushing, you let the rest of the evening pass as it usually would, playing monopoly with laura, her temper rising when the game doesn’t go her way, cussing at the board in spanish. she’s creative with her insults and you press your lips together tightly to hold back a laugh. you’re certain logan knows what she’s saying, or can at least make an educated guess, but he doesn’t comment on it.

she heads upstairs when she loses, stomping her feet down on every step, a strange contrast to how she often moves like a shadow. you’re content to let her walk away, knowing the anger isn’t real - she’ll grumble and stew in the loss for a bit before moving on as she always does.

“you need to know what you’re getting into,” logan says, and it takes you a while to piece together what he means, your earlier conversation pushed to the back of your mind during monopoly. “if you agree to this and then realise it’s too much and leave - i don’t think laura’d be able to handle it.”

there’s an unspoken, and me, in the way he watches you, vulnerable, something logan loathes to be. so you wrap your arms around him, not for the first time, but it hasn’t yet lost its novelty. you feel his body heat despite the layers of clothing separating the two of you from making direct skin-to-skin contact, sighing in pleasure as you relax with your head on his chest.

“we’re not strangers logan,” you say, “i know who you are, how you treat me, how you treat your daughter. and if more of this is what it’s like to date you, to be with you, i don’t see myself leaving.”

diversity december taglist: @raeinyourdreams @meetmypointlessaddiction @chubbyhedgehog @yxtkiwiyxt @isepod @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes

latina!reader taglist: @naggywaggy @mami-veracruz @spencerswh0r3 @gl1ndathegoodwitch @taextannie

[copperbadge]

Sam, Mr. Dramaturg sir, would you be willing to talk about Western taboos, distrust, and weird attitudes about costume masks and how that might play out with COVID-19 and the CDC's recommendation to wear face-masks when in public? I've seen people wearing masks pull their masks off when they talk to someone, because "that's just polite," even though that's when you need the mask most.

Oh man this ask came in SO LONG AGO and I’m so sorry I didn’t answer it sooner; I was ruminating on a lot of stuff to do with masks and wasn’t sure my theses were fully formed yet. They may still not be. But I have a hunch that there are a couple of factors in play.

So, first, in America we have a real wariness around masks and masking in a costuming sense, because we perceive masks as concealing. This is actually a relatively recent cultural development brought over from Europe. Prior to the Renaissance and I would posit up into it, especially in the Mediterranean, theatrical masks were not seen as concealing an actor but rather as revealing a character. This is actually still the premise of a lot of masked theatre in Asia, where they tend to be much more comfortable with masks in general. In Europe, this drew on ancient ideas of the external appearance representing the internal person (which gets into some really dicey ableist areas but we won’t go there right now). 

That changed around the time that masquerade balls became popular in part because they were condemned as orgies of sin and vice by conservative religious groups, who came from a different cultural context in many ways. And that attitude pervaded a lot of Europe and, through colonialism, a lot of the western world, aided by the Puritan settlement of America, since Puritans were against theatre in general (surprisingly not because it was considered somehow blasphemous, but because it wasn’t considered a productive use of time or energy). 

 Anyway, all that is to say that especially in American culture you have this pre-existing belief that if you can’t see a person’s face you can’t interpret their emotions, particularly the eyes and mouth, which is why clowns freak us out -- not because their features are concealed, but because their features are exaggerated in an extremely specific way that presents one emotion even if the clown’s actual face is portraying a different one. 

So. There’s that in play, where people pull their mask down to speak or refuse to wear one at all in part because they think they’ll be muffled, but also so that they can more easily convey the specific emotions they wish to convey, which Americans feel we can’t really do if our face isn’t fully visible. (This...may be why I was confused about the whole “frown on the forehead” thing. That’s not really how American culture works.) 

But I think the creepy, dangerous view that some people hold, that they have some kind of right not to wear masks and they’re being oppressed if they’re asked to, goes deeper -- I think it speaks to the fragility of their perilous worldview.

People who don’t want to mask up also tend to be people for whom reality is a carefully constructed cushion of lies, conspiracy theories, and blind loyalty to the word of the moment, even if that word has been contradicted in the past. To wear a mask is to acknowledge an authority outside of oneself, to tacitly admit that not only is there an objective reality one cannot sway by believing hard enough, but that the reality is based on science and fact and doesn’t care if you’re made uncomfortable by it. If you have spent years, sometimes decades, believing that science isn’t real, that anything can be argued into not existing and that your worldview is the most objective and “real” one possible, to put on a mask is to acknowledge the authority of the natural world, and worse, of science that is unaffected by your opinions or feelings. 

To put on a medical mask, a mask designed for use by scientists and doctors, is to align yourself with science and medicine -- to admit that you could possibly be wrong, or have been wrong, and that it is an ongoing state, not something that will change the next time your chosen idol changes his mind about something. To wear a mask is to admit that science is real, which is terrifying to people who have built their identity around the idea that anything that makes them uncomfortable is a falsehood they can safely ignore. 

A covid mask is an admission that we cannot dictate our own reality without consequences or ignore that our behavior impacts others. Plenty of people know this already; it is a lived reality for a huge swath of American society. But a lot of fragile egos are being forced to confront their own childishness for the first time, and they can’t handle that. So they react like children do, with temper tantrums and whining. 

TLDR in America masks both conceal our emotions and dictate our identities, and some people are real new to the idea that their feelings are not anyone else’s priority anymore. 

[give-grian-rights]

Bets Against The Void Ch4

I DID AS I SAID I WOULD.

@petrichormeraki

Chapter 1

The Chapter Before

The Next Chapter

Crossposted on AO3

Full fic bellow! content warning for trauma, relating to  the Festival.

By the time they had managed to leave Looky Looky at My Cookie, being around the two teens felt like a hurricane. When Stress managed to convince the two to get something to eat- not that cookies and cake were exactly a healthy breakfast- that certainly hadn’t slowed them down from bouncing off the walls.

Though wary at first, Tommy couldn’t get himself to turn down free goods, without even being accused of stealing. While Grian had been digging through an enderchest, finding payment for the goods, Tommy and pulled Tubbo along to gawk at the builds.

“I don’t fucking get it! Why don’t you guys just, steal shit? I don’t see anyone here to stop that! Or- what’s stopping someone from griefing?” Tommy turned, eyes narrowed on the short brunette woman.

Stress merely tilted her head, brows knitted together in confusion. “We’re a whitelist server, Love! Of course none of us would steal. We’re on a mooshroom island, so we don’t have any worries about any creepers or the like, either.” She had explained, much to the boy’s frustration.

“Yeah, but if someone wanted to, they could just fuckin’ come here and steal! I mean, why would anyone care? Or how would you even notice, you all seem loaded.” He scoffed in frustration.

Tubbo, at his side, laughed. “That’s the coolest part, Tommy! They don’t worry about that! That’s why, like, they’re so cool! No one disrupts eachother or steals, so people can just..Work, and do crazy shit!” They gawked, clapping their hands as they bounced in place.

“I’ve always meant to go back and explore one of the replica worlds you guys put out. The fact that after you’re all finished, you just- put out the code? So others can make replicas of just- such intimate places? And experience it and walk through it? That’s so cool.” Tubbo finally stopped, having nearly ran out of breath.

That earned a flustered laugh out of Stress, nodding along. “Oh, I agree. I only got to join the Hermits two worlds back, on Hermitcraft Five! Me and Zedaph- oh, is he a something- were the new Hermits up until Grian finally joined us, last world.” 

“New Hermit is definitely a heavy torch to carry,” Grian would chirp in, emerging from the shop. “Gotta commit as much chaos as physically possible. Make a good name for yourself.” The brit finished with a wolfish grin, unruly bangs falling past grey, almost purple eyes that glanced between the teens.

“He’s got a point,” Stress snorted, nodding. “If you’re ever bored during your stay, no Hermit are short on stories. Anywho, Grian, you got the spending diamonds for the two?” She turned towards the man- not even a hair taller than herself.

“Yep, of course. Here you two go, I don’t have all my diamonds on me, but this should help cover just about whatever you need.” Pulling out the diamond icon from his tablet, he dropped a numbered amount to both, being deposited into their system. “W- what!” Tubbo exclaimed, pulling out a diamond from their system. “Surely not. Is my tablet reading this right? A stack of diamonds?” They gawked, clutching onto the jewel.

Tommy merely screeched, pressing his tablet against his chest. “Holy fucking SHIT-”

“Jeez does this feel like a language moment-” another voice chimed.

The boy went rigid. Tommy’s head snapping in the direction, as Tubbo nearly jumped out of their skin in surprise. Stood by an igloo- out of place in the clashing mycelium-grass island- was an equally odd man.

Platinum white hair held back(mostly) by a well-worn black headband, a silver plate on the front reading off NHO. A faded, dull green- littered with patches, pins, and buttons- and most unnerving, a black mask covering most of their face. And- most notably- was the pair of slick, glistening snowy owl wings sprawled behind them.

The white-haired figure paused, shifting their weight awkwardly. “Uh, hi.” The guy gave a small wave, expression unreadable past mismatched black-and-red eyes. The man’s hair barely even allowed for those to be viewable- aiding in his masquerade, made the combination of mask-and-bangs shield most of the visible emotion from the newcomers.

“Hey, Etho!” Grian chirped, pleasantly pleased by the appearance of the shady figure. For some reason that Tommy, yet again, doesn’t quite understand, Tubbo gasps.

“Holy- you’re Etho? Like, Ethos Lab?  Oh, oh Void, I spent so much time watching so many of your old redstone videos! It’s what got me so interested in it!” They grinned. 

Oh Prime, who doesn’t this place have? Tommy scoffed at the thought, eyes narrowing on the figure. What’s with the scary mask people always being the ones getting popular, and shit- 

“Oh, thanks. Always happy to hear, there’s always a use for more redstone users. Uh, looks like you got a bit of a tour going on?” The man- Etho, turned towards Grian and Stress. 

“Yep! We wanted to check in on them, I know you heard from the announcement the run down.” Stress grinned, glancing towards the teens. “These two are Tommy and Tubbo. Glad to see you have some idea about Etho, already. He’s always bound to be around somewhere.” 

Tommy scoffed, eyeing the man, a few inches shy of his own height. “Hi, and shit.” He sniffed, crossing his arms.

Etho shuffled in place, nodding. “Uh, yeah. Language, by the way.” He sheepishly huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Welcome, for however long you guys stay. ..And if I may recommend, make sure you head down to Shade-E E’s. Quick profits all around.” He added, pointing with his thumb behind him, towards the dark mansion.

The blond kid raised a brow, tilting his head.  Prime, what is up with this guy.  “Excuse me?” Tommy scoffed.

Grian groaned, rolling his eyes. “Etho. Please. The amount of glass i’ve picked up coming out of the District portal.” He glared pointedly towards the man.

“Mhmm..I don’t see what there is to be so upset over. I think I'm providing a very generous service, to our server.” He snickered, quirking an eyebrow.

Pointedly sending a scolding glare towards Etho, Stress turned towards the two teens. “C’mon, now. Mind that Mr. Ice Queen, now.” She huffed, fondness seeping into her voice.

“I know when I’m unwanted,” Etho chuckled, holding up gloved hands in mock-defense. See you two ‘round. You too, Tubbo, Tommy.” He’d nod towards each person as he named them, before a rocket was summoned to his hand. And, he was off with a trail of smoke.

At the poof and small bang from the minor explosive was all it took for an incident to form. Tubbo cringed, visibly flinching before they curled in on themself, ducking their head down as their arms clung around their head, their ears covered.

Tommy, on the otherhand, nearly jumped a foot in the air before throwing himself on Tubbo.  The two went tumbling to the ground with a huff. 

The two Hermits shot up, turning towards the teens. “Oh Gord, hey, it’s okay, those were just flight duration rockets! They can’t do a thing. Etho’s gone, now.” Grian dropped down next to them, brows pinched in concern. 

“We promise, it’s alright! We all use rockets like that. It’s alright, see? Everything’s fine. No hermit would do a thing to purposefully scare you, like that.” Stress chirped in, her heart sinking at the thought of two kids being so terrified at a simple firework.

Tommy pulled his head away from the crook of Tubbo’s neck, glaring harshly at the adults. Distrust was obvious in his blue eyes, before he untangled himself, pulling up Tubbo with him. “Why the fuck would he need fireworks? He had fucking wings.”

The Hermits exchanged a gaze for a moment, before Grian held up his hands pacifyingly. “That was just an elytra. They take the form most fitting for the wearer, at the moment. Stress marked him the Ice Queen of the season, since he owns that Ice shop,” He’d point with his thumb behind him, at a snowy igloo with an Ice sign above it. “So, he had snow-themed wings. Last world, my Elytra wings were small and white feathers. Rockets boost them, since Elytras can only glide.” Grian explained patiently.

“..Right. Sorry- I- Uh. I didn’t realize he had an Elytra.. S-Should’ve expected the rocket, if I knew.” Tubbo sheepishly laughed it off, their head dipped down.

The correlation between the splattered, sparked burn scars scattered across their face, and their reaction, wasn’t lost on the Hermits. 

There was a brief silence between the four, the blond boy’s arm wrapped tightly around the other teen’s.

“So- what are your wings, now?” Tubbo eventually asked, breaking the tense pause.

Grian made a noise of understanding. “Ah, yeah, I have parrots wings, now! Scarlet Macaw. Red’s the primary color. They’re a good bit bigger than last season’s elytra, since that one was chicken based.”

“Chicken based?” Tommy scoffed, cocking an eyebrow as he eyed the short, young-looking man.

“Yes, that was his whole thing. The Hermits still tease him for it. Mine are floral-based and skeletal, when I wear them.” Stress chirped, her tone warm. With a swipe of her holographic tablet, wings were equipped to her back. 

Indeed, they were as described. A frame of skeletal bones, a light, magenta glistening aura surrounding them. Moss, and large flowers clung to the wings. How exactly she flew with them was beyond anything Tommy knew- or was willing to take the time to understand.

“We won’t be using them, since- you two don’t have any. But it is about time we discuss what your plans are. Has your server’s admin sent any updates?” Grian switched subjects, glancing between the teens.

A tense energy still surrounded them, as Tubbo fidgetted and gripped onto the fabric at the bottom of their shirt.

“No,” Tommy scoffed, pulling his Communicator into his free hand. “The bastard hasn’t said a word.” The boy practically growled out the words, in frustration. 

“Alright,” Grian said easily. “Then we figure out what you two want to do.”

“There’s a lot of spare builds. Keralis, real close to here, has a whole big city. There’s a hotel there. It’s not empty, but it is.. Overwhelming, and a bit much. There are also Hermits starter bases.” Stress explained, trying to lay out the options for the two.

Tommy scowled, while Tubbo looked- well, spaced. Easily the quietest either Hermit had seen them, so far. This only added to their concern.

“I have my starter base. No Hermit would bother you, but it’s close enough that we can drop off supplies, and you’d be able to reach others if you need help. Both of you could have anything I left in those chests, Gord knows I have more than enough resources.” Grian offered, glancing between the teens.

“The spawn room was fine, Mr. Grian.” Tubbo cringed, tilting their head towards the builder.

Grian persisted, gently shaking his head. “No, it isn’t. There isn’t the supplies to really just- let you guys sustain, there.” He grimaced, before manifesting the spruce boat icon into his hand. “Hobbit hole with everything in it going to you two, or empty hotel room with no elevator.” He’d offer.

The pair were quiet for a moment, before Tommy groaned. “Fine. Hermithole, or whatever.” 

Nodding along, Grian trailed off towards shore. “Alright, we have a short journey ahead of us, then. And then you two can decide if you want to settle there and make do with what’s stored, or come back on your own accord for more. I won’t make either of you stick around for much longer.”

“Good.” Tommy grumbled, pulling back out his own boat.

Both groups were soon in their boats, and once more, were off into the ocean.

[unpredictably-ghostly]

Ghost Explains His Ruby Redfort Playlist At Great Length

(aka the most self-indulgent and probably longest post i’ve ever made, enjoy!)

Also, I’d love to hear any songs you think fit the story/characters! In the tags, replies whatever, I’m 100% down for RR themed song recommendations :D

- Ruby Slippers: Both a reference to her name, and the infamous red clogs from Look Into My Eyes. Also: “Drowning, neck deep in the drama, these catastrophic problems that follow your around” is perfect for her ‘reputation’ at Spectrum.

- Rules: Links to Ruby’s rules, and has themes of questioning/rebelling against authority. “You know you’re never gonna get to find out anyway, the game plays us for fools, you know you’re never gonna get to have the final say, you don’t get to make the rules” matches with Ruby’s defiance of Spectrum, especially her issues with LB.

- Spy?: It’s straight up about spies, what more could you ask for? Also, thought it was good for the mole situation, as well as Ruby’s tendency for self-endangerment.

- Bubblegum Bitch: She wasn’t called “bubblegum girl” by Lorelei for no reason, plus thought it had a fitting amount of attitude.

- It’s A Trap!: It’s a call for action! It’s defiant! Links to wanting to be a field agent rather than a desk job like code cracking, and desire for action instead of waiting around.

- You’re Nobody Till Somebody Wants You Dead: Ruby sure did accumulate a lot of enemies, unfortunately most of them being bloodthirsty killers instead of the standard middle school rivalry. Also reflects a growing paranoia, because isn’t that fun :D “You’re nobody till somebody wants you dead, and the list it grows and grows until it’s everyone you’ve ever known.”

- Blood Red Youth: Ruby’s youth sure has been bloody! About being involved in stuff you probably shouldn’t be at that age.

- Meet Me On the Roof: The roof of the Redfort house is a popular hangout throughout the series, and the line “How high is your low gonna go?” can link to Spectrum potentially lowering standards/relaxing rules to let her work for them. Also! “Taking drowning lessons, secret words and true confessions goes super well with Take Your Last Breath: links to the threat of drowning and the truth serum.

- The Last of the Real Ones: This one I think can be interpreted multiple ways: could be Clancy and Ruby about each other, Ruby about Bradley Baker, or (i think this one is strongest) LB about Baker. About someone who’s had a strong impact on your life: both people feeling set aside from others and connected to each other.

- The Reckless and the Brave: Fits Ruby’s temperament v well, and it’s about wanting a more exciting/meaningful life- wanting to be a part of Spectrum and determination to prover herself as an agent.

- Perfume: This one encapsulates Pick Your Poison for me- Links to the perfume code, Lorelei von Leyden and her signature of Turkish Delight, and “I don’t like his eyes, and I distrust the name” for Ruby’s suspicion of Blacker.

- Bad Decisions: She has quite the track record of making questionable decisions, so,,, 

- The Kids Aren’t Alright: The title alone earnt it a place I reckon, but also “Former heroes who quit too late, just wanna fill up the trophy case again” could fit Buzz and Baker for different reasons, and “I’d do it all again, I think you’re my best friend” is Ruby and Clancy.

- Daniel in the Den: It’s paranoia and betrayal again!! “It’s harder than you think telling dreams from one another” for difficulty discerning genuine concern with paranoia, and “And felled in the night by the ones you think you love, they will come for you” speaks for itself.

- HEY CHILD: Replace child with kid, and I think it’s a decent fit for Hitch to Ruby.

- Don’t Stop Me Now: It’s fun and confident, something nice and upbeat for Ruby.

- RISE: It’s a fighting anthem! Similar to Reckless and the Brave, it links to wanting to prove herself in Spectrum, and her determination to succeed in dangerous situations against the odds.

- Send Them Off!: Really like this song to represent the jealousy dealt with by Clancy and Ruby- Clancy’s jealousy of Ruby, and Ruby’s jealousy of Bradley Baker. The opening lines stuck out to me particularly as being about Baker’s death.

- You’re My Best Friend- Clancy and Ruby are best friends your honour!! I think this song fits their friendship super well. 

- Kung Fu Fighting: I saw this in another RR playlist looking for inspiration/songs outside what I normally listen to, and adfgdfgfh brilliant idea i love it! Fun to imagine the training scenes in Pick Your Poison.

- The Edge: This one is for a very specific scene- At the end of Blink and You Die, where Ruby is on the window ledge as Buzz and Hitch try to convince her to trust them, and that the other is the mole. Lyrics about a balancing act on a high edge as a metaphor for the tipping point in a relationship.

- I’m Still Standing: A fantastic and triumphant song to finish off! “Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid.”

[phoebehalliwell]

Do Penn and Dency have like more a of sisterly than a cousin one since they’re so close in age (and they kinda grew up together since they only a few months apart). And like on a slightly different topic, what does Penn think of Dove? Did Penn and Dency share friends in Magic school or did they run in opposite circles?

tl;dr yeah they’re more sisterly & penn and dove don’t really like each other that much, & penn and dency definitely ran in different circles, especially as they got older. there’s like. a full on deep dive under the cut. i highly recommend u read if u wanna know why penn’s Like That & her complex relationship with both dency & dove, but um. it’s 3.7k words. but u should read it♥

i would definitely say they’re more sisters than they are cousins because like. i don’t know how close y’all are with your cousins. but like. cousinship is really not what i’d call a solid unbreakable fraternal bond you know? like penn and dency are like. 2.5 months apart so They Are The Same Age (even tho dency’s born in 02 & penn’s born in 03) and also because while in dency’s early years there is a phoebe/coop thread running, it still takes a while for those two to enter a committed relationship and move out so for the first. three? or so years of their lives, dency and penn literally shared a bedroom in the manor like they were raised kinda like twins just from a proximity standpoint. and then, of course, since they’re the same age and all, they hit milestones at the same time & are always in the same school year (which i feel like both these girls went to private schools which are like. always catholic schools idk if this is universal but like. i feel like in sf almost every single private school is tied to a church but maybe i just don’t know that many people who went to private school. and yes this is because i just really really want dency to go to a catholic school her being the antichrist so to speak all that i want her to be genuinely afraid that if she touches holy water she’ll burn it’s fun (it doesn’t burn her, for the record. she like. tried when she was 9/10 and it’s like one of those things like you know how you can lick your fingers and pinch out a candle flame so as a kid you wanna try it and you have saliva all over your fingers and you keep going in a chickening out because that’s fire!! that’s a flame!! what the fuck!!! so its a back and forth until you just gotta do it yeah that she ends up like plunging her full hand in when the plan was kinda only dip a finger but good news! she’s fine she does not burn with holy water.) maybe they go to public high school but like. private elementary and/or middle school. because high school who cares but going to a catholic middle school will leave the funniest long term effects on people).

and then, of course, magic school. they both go to magic school. which as i’ve stated before i think there are many magic schools this magic school is tethered to san francisco and i think really any west coast witches will attend that school but there aren’t That Many so class sizes are still like. 30 kids. and then, of course, as this is Charm School (as so it is dubbed as it is the school run by the charmed ones) they do kinda host their fair share of magical events which is mainly like the elders being like okay can we all get together let’s host a yule celebration here which they do in this world but not in the canon!gen2 due to one major defining factor: penn. because like. she’s the twice blessed man. magic literally shut down just like globally for a full day when she was born (dency actually retained a limited amount of magic as you know she has a bit of source. it’s a magic source. but like. very little it was insanely dampened). but you know globally no one really knew this was coming all of magic was left standing there with their dick in their hands until it turned back on and now there’s only one question: what the fuck was that? and the answer was a baby literally so powerful was born that all magic rested for a day to welcome this child. the twice blessed has arrived. And That’s A Big Fucking Deal! and again: the elders don’t really like the charmed ones all that much bit of a two way street here because the charmed ones don’t like them so they would love to take away this ability maybe save it for a rainy day with a family they don’t already have a dicey history with but um. source’s heir is right there. so we’re gonna keep the twice blessed in tact. but yeah basically the elders have kind of these magical holidays at magic school and penn has to be in attendance just because she’s kinda the representation of the best of good magic. she’s an idol everyone can kinda get behind you know rejuvenate the spirit of good magic unite the witches behind one figurehead.

which, for the record, piper and leo are Not Really Game for because what the fuck so it’s like. at first when the elders are like. let’s host a litha celebration here invite magical families around the world extend olive branches so to speak you know it also tells the underworld that good magic is strong on united really keeps them at bay (because they really have yet to recover from s7/s8 there’s still not centralized ruler demon/monster attacks have been way down and quite frankly the sisters wanna keep it that way. they love a world where their lives aren’t constantly at risk). so initially they’re like yeah sure they bring their kids because what are they gonna hire a babysitter the kids can be there and like. everyone fawns over penn. and penn initially loves it because like you’re 7 who doesn’t love being special being the center of attention. but piper & leo are like 😐 because they’re starting to see the game the elders are playing but you know. in the early years penn really likes going to these. i should state penn’s full name is actually melinda penelope halliwell and when she was young she did go by melinda but she really didn’t like how much she was compared to melinda warren esp with all the twice-blessed stuff (she also has leo’s hair color (i.e. blonde) so she does look a lot like her ancestor) so around 13 14 or so she starts going by penelope which people shorten to penny which is just another ancestor to be compared to so she shortens that to penn. so yeah through the elementary school era i think penn really likes attending these functions she likes being liked and piper and leo are like no really you don’t have to go in fact we’d prefer it if you’d stayed home but she’s like 9 she doesn’t get the minutia of it and she’ll like cry if she can’t go to the fun party. by the time she hits middle school tho she’s like no this shit is draining lmao can all these adults back off. but then like. by the time she hits high school she’s kinda caught on and if it’s her being a charming, polite, dazzling little twice blessed that keeps good magic solid and the underworld at bay, she can play that role. she will play that role. but now there’s a sense of duty to it.

so. i’m still talking. i think it magic school penn was really popular because she was like a household name you know, that and like she’s really got her father’s kind heart and can play mediator like her mother so she kinda can do the saintlike role given to her (which again is something she starts at a young age not realizing what all this is before and it grows into the core of who she is & now it’s inseparable. it’s kinda like the male gaze. but the elder gaze. even pretending you aren't catering to elder fantasies is an elder fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. you are a witch with an elder inside watching a witch. you are your own voyeur. lmao. haha but yeah penn has a really big circle but while people fawn over penn they are inherently distrustful of dency because again these are kids and they get their opinions from their parents. and some parents really don’t want the source of all evil going to school and learning alongside their kids. and this is kinda penn’s crucial flaw is she was kinda always taught to be so temperate that when people are mean to dency, she doesn’t like. go to bat for dency. she mediates. she’ll mediate in a situation where someone is clearly in the wrong but is like. let’s reach a peaceful agreement let’s try to see both sides because you know her parents especially leo raised her with this peace love & understanding mentality and she’s so young she doesn’t get the nuance of situations.

so, rather than kinda sit and field catty comments from other witches in penn’s social circle & watch penn try to turn this into some kind of socratic seminar on how we’re all different and we should all try to understand each other dency kinda just voluntarily breaks from penn’s circle. it’s not too difficult as not that many people really wanted her anyway and also she’s not always in the same classes as them as she needs lots of private tutoring to kind of. you know. hone her demon powers, which function differently.

and then this is where we bring in dove who is a witch with no active powers and two mortal parents, so she doesn’t actually realize it’s weird not to have active powers until she reaches magic school (after being enrolled by paige, who has basically assorted sidequests going at all time where she like. finds witches who don’t have the resources to learn the craft proper and rather than let them just risk it she enrolls them in her school. she does this in canon!gen2 as well that’s kinda like her whitelighter job as i don’t think she has too too many Charges in a traditional whitelighter sense). and then a bit of history on dove her parents are fucking loaded. the type of rich you eat, not just upper middle class. and her dad does fuck knows what tech shit in the silicon valley and her mom’s basically just a socialite. so dove, like penn, from a very young age learns the art of being the little doll at the party. we’re sitting this baby down at the grand piano and you’re all gonna coo and aww as she knocks out für elise okay? but the primary difference between penn & dove is dove was being coached. dove knew from a very young age what she was doing. penn was just what the john mulaney quote shiny and dumb and easy to trick? yeah. piper and leo didn’t want her there they didn’t want her exposed to like the notion of white magic politics, dove’s mother on the other hand basically trained her in the art of the social kill.

So. dove as a kid gets to magic school and kinda quickly realizes she’s not like the other kids. and yes, there are some late bloomers, but like. she’s really not like the other kids i mean she’s a witch with no lineage and no active powers and everyone else seems to have family friends and people they already know and she’s alone. so. ever the social strategist, she aligns herself with penn. and dove joined about late elementary school early middle school so she got contact with dency before she broke, but she knows her mostly by reputation because dove loves gossip and there’s a lot to be whispered about dency. unfortunately, there’s also a lot to be whispered about her. and it’s usually like. if you’re a late bloomer and you don’t have an active power, by the time you hit puberty one develops (there’s also like. the other marker is when the brain stops developing around age 25 sometimes power develop then and dove’s currently like 24 so she’s lowkey still holding out for that one). but dove kinda goes through puberty and doesn’t get an active power and now kids are calling her dud and this is where penn’s middle road logic fails her again because she just. she’ll be kind to dove and be like that’s really mean and they shouldn’t have said that, but she’ll also speak kindly to the bullies and be like hey that’s not nice don’t say that. and dove is not a temperate person so when she’s attacked she goes for the jugular. and penn pulls out again this peace love & understanding card like i understand you’re upset but you shouldn’t stoop to their level you should try to always be understanding because you don’t know what they’re going through and it pisses dove off because penn literally has no backbone. like she’s never really seen penn stand for anything and quite frankly she’s a little pissed about it because she specifically befriended penn for like protection for a place in the magical community and penn just like. does not offer that because she’s just do spineless.

so i think dove kinda just slowly distances herself from penn and penn doesn’t really do anything to keep friends so to speak because as the twice blessed kids kind of just flock to her she’s definitely got a really weird dynamic just with others as a whole so it’s like when dove stops invited penn over for playdates it’s not like penn’s gonna Start inviting dove over for playdates because that’s simply not how penn’s mind works. also almost all her playdates from like a really young age were really weird because it was just witches being like oh my god let’s set up a cute little playdate for our kids i’ll bring them over at 1 and piper and leo were game because you know yay socialization for my daughter, but you know it quickly became obvious that it wasn’t for the kids. like it was for these parents who get to be in the halliwell manor talking to a charmed one, the twice blessed is right there, & it was kind of sickening. so yeah. that happened one too many times. but like the further dove drifted from penn kind of the less she held her tongue because you know penn’s so kind and temperate that she really doesn’t like hearing insults quick jabs you know like obviously. but dove’s great at it. and yeah, there are kids dove just doesn’t like because they’re dicks to her. so when they go after dency, dove’s immediately ready to tear them to bits. it’s kind of like sticking up for the little man, but it’s more just like attacking the bully bc now you have a reason to. but what surprises dove is dency also has some bite to her words, dency also fights back. which dove again ever the social strategist thinks dency shouldn’t to that because she already has the title of the source’s heir hanging over her it’s not wise to pour fuel on that fire but at the same time she’s glad dency just like. does fight back. is a dick about it. she loves that she’s someone who doesn’t play the social game, someone who’s true to herself and isn’t going to water herself down in order to be liked by other people. you know dency’s got backbone she’s got chutzpah and dove loves to see it after everyone in magic school who are all just like. 11 year old sycophants finally someone who’s real. so i think dove and dency kind of become besties as they willingly mark themselves as the social outcasts who just. do what they want to do. it’s like dency’s basically a demon and dove’s basically mortal and together they’re just having like. a great fucking time. i think they really like each other. it’s also dove’s first friendship that literally has no exterior advantage if anything it brings down her stock but she doesn’t care because dency’s just like cool man.

and then nowadays they’re all like 24 and dency and dove live together dency works as a freelance journalist (even though elise is constantly offering her a permanent position at the bay mirror, dency doesn’t accept it because she “doesn’t want a nepotism job” to which elise is like dency i wouldn’t offer you the job if i didn’t think you were any good my own niece has been trying to get an internship here for two years but she writes absolute drivel okay i don’t want you here because you’re my goddaughter i want you here because you’re an excellent writer. but dency still always turns her down because she doesn’t like the optics. she still spends a lot of time a the bay mirror just because i really love the visual of punk rock antichrist rolling up to the bay mirror and immediately getting the biggest hug from elise when most employees have yet to even see elise smile) & then dove on the other hand 100% has a nepotism job she like does pr for her dad’s company. penn i think works in piper’s kitchen as a line cook where she literally like addresses her mom like yes chef all that like people don’t know she’s the owner’s daughter hell they barely know her name and she kinda loves it like that.

and dency and penn definitely have this kind of testy relationship because dency never leaves well enough alone. i mean that’s literally her job right as a journalist, but it carries over into magic too & penn hates it because someday dency’s gonna get herself killed. but the fact of the matter is their fighting styles are not compatible. penn and dency are not good side by side in a fight & dency would much rather work alone. but, if penn knows anything, she’s gonna be there. she refuses to let dency go in alone because if dency dies and there was something she could have done about it she’d never forgive herself. this is why dency doesn’t go to penn for healing anymore because again they can’t lie to each other given their lie detector power, so rather than get penn involved dency goes to her friend jack who is both a mortal & and nurse & went to like the same private elementary school as dency, tho i think he was in on a lottery. And. Of Course. there is a vice versa going on here because dency does not tell penn things because like. if penn dies because she was following dency into some dangerous battle she’d never forgive herself. because, quite honestly, dency knows she’s powerful. she has a skill set that practically no one has the ability to counter. but also. she’s the source’s heir. penn’s the twice blessed. the world needs penn a lot more than it needs her, you know? dency does kind of view herself as more expendable than penn, you know again penn is the embodiment of all good magic and the story’s definitely been spun that penn and the elders kind of unifying good magic, creating a strong bond keeps the underworld at bay. penn’s death would be a devastating blow. and on top of that, penn’s really not a fighter. dency is, she’s great at it. and you know, if penn was always running headfirst into battles like dency, it really would be a mirror relationship but penn really does not practice magic outside of magic school. so that’s not a concern. but yeah. given this fact that penn is really more important symbol-wise & the fact they do not fight well together & the fact penn’s just not great at fighting & she does not remotely know the demonic world like dency does, dency really does try to keep her cousin in the dark as much as possible.

dove and penn kind of in the present have a bit of a rivalry going at least penn considers it a rivalry because penn genuinely considers them equals, dove on the other hand does not because penn is the twice blessed and dove is a witch without powers but yeah. no one really can argue the way they argue because it really doesn’t sound like an argument it’s like. written down it can seem like a perfectly friendly conversation but there is kind of this intense vein of malice running through most of their interactions. which, while we’re kind of positioned to side with dove because she’s more of a main character than penn is, she’s besties with our protagonist, also i love her, dove is definitely the instigator. and it’s not like penn’s deserving of any of dove’s harassment but dove is just still really bitter about how penn was supposed to be her shelter as a young girl but penn never stands up for anything leaving dove really vulnerable as a kid. which she has not ever voiced to penn, penn just thinks dove’s a bitch (which she is, but like,) but at the same time penn almost always seeks dove out or even invites her (not directly, but rather by extension by insisting dency has to come no no you have to come listen you can bring a friend okay but you have to be there. because dency will only ever bring dove.) to these magical functions because a) dove’s kind of already so low on the food chain that she’s really fine with making snide comments to the faces of these really pretentious parents who are only in it for power and optics. like penn always has to pretend not to smile when dove makes the comments she always wished she could say just like. to an elder’s face. and then on top of that, dove’s about the only person who doesn’t view penn as sacred, and by extension, now that they’re older, dove is about the only person penn doesn’t have to act sacred around (outside of her own family, obvi). like. penn has piper’s bitchiness. she just never gets to say what’s on her mind because she’s too busy being The Twice Blessed. unless she’s around dency & dove & co, where nobody cares who she is, and she can be kind of the dick she is. she’s not as temperate as she seems. 

[booksandwords]

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren

Read time: 2 Days Rating: 4/5

The quote: This is how we reveal ourselves: these tiny flashes of discomfort, the reactions we can’t hide. — Tanner Scott

Autoboyography is a wonderful book that enjoys a lot of praise. I really enjoyed it. This review ended up being quite lengthy. I have chosen to focus largely on the characters of Autoboyography which I really appreciated. This is a well thought out and designed story, intended to provoke thought in readers. Not just about religion and relationships but maybe about themselves a bit. It deals with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints referred to as LDS with at least some dignity, more than is normal.

The opening is great, a walk through the relevant parts of Tanner's life and clarification on the LDS. Some stereotypes are displayed, these are still high school students. The LDS we all think of are those on their Mission. The pacing of the plot is at least reasonable, it fits the relationship. Especially after the line "You've always led with your heart first and your heart second, but I need you to think about this one." (Jenna to Tanner, p 100). There are a couple of moments that are questionable. A convenient change in the enrolment numbers for the Seminar (14 to 15), one frequently mentioned moments comes to nothing. The plot is described as Tanner falling in love with Sebastian, which just feels right it really is that simple and that complicated. The ending feels right. An HFN was almost certain but it was the journey that I was unsure of and really enjoyed.

Characters are multidimensional and of their circumstances. With Emily and Jenna wholly distrustful to the point of nearly hating LDS due to their previous experiences with it. Paul knows what could have been and knows the situation his son his in, as well as his familial history having a role to play. Due to the differences between the families, Tanner and Sebastian don't face the same concerns or restrictions within their relationship, though both have the same source to a degree. Tanner's family objects to Sebastian's religion. Sebastian's family stringently objects to same-sex relationships. Autoboyography is one of those books that shows love in multiple forms. Familial, in different forms. Romantic between the protagonists, it's complicated and messy. Platonic between friends and unrequited love as well. Autoboyography has some wonderful quotes about love, faith, family and friendship.

Tanner 'Tann' Scott is a bi, senior and transplant to Provo, Utah from Palo Alto, California, a move that put him firmly back in the closet. Even his best friend, the brilliant Autumn doesn't know his true sexuality. His parents are extremely supportive of his sexuality but don't want him to get hurt in the very Mormon town he now lives in. His subject strengths are in the math/science stream. he's an honors student essentially with his pick of universities. After accepting a challenge to join the Seminar, a semester-long book writing course he is introduced to local celebrity Sebastian Brother. Tann's attraction to Sebastian is instantaneous  "His smile ruins me." (Tanner, p 22) which is a great line, I remember being bowled over like that. His fast movement from infatuation to love is interesting to read. Tanner is helpless to resist even though he knows he should (Sebastian is in the same position there). His coping mechanisms are sometimes healthy, sometimes destructive, reading both in the same character added a great depth. I quite like Tanner, because of how this book his written I could feel his anger and pain.

Sebastian 'Seb' Brother is a published author tutoring the Seminar Tan is in. After the semester is over he goes on book tour than on his two year Mission. While he is attracted to men, he doesn't identify as gay. His father is the local Bishop as such his family are expected to lead by example in both word and deed. Seb's family are very welcoming and accepting of Tann when they meet him. Sebastian's experimentation and reluctance to label (and hair-splitting) were extremely off-putting. I've been known to DNF a book for less, despite what I said earlier, that was more about Tann's reaction rather than Seb's choices. "I'm not gay, I'm not straight, I'm me" (Sebastian, p 224). The very thing that makes him off-putting makes him a great character, it's the circumstances and expectation (familial and communal) that make the person. He also has a hidden passion that is shown only at the right times but it was definitely needed, and it, not a small streak either.

In the support cast, there is a standout. Auddy. Autumn Summer Green. Tann's best friend, she is ride or die but with a complication. Those unhealthy coping mechanisms I was mentioning, they relate to her. My one question about her is how can she be so beautiful and accepting of everything that happens? It's not passivity she's just a really well written best friend. But Tann's family are great. There is a lot going on there. Full acceptance of Tann's sexuality, but wanting to protect him from the pain they experienced. "How would this be any different from his parents saying guys are off-limits?" "It's completely different. Among a hundred other reasons, going to church is a choice.. Being bisexual is simply who you are I'm protecting you from the toxic messages of the church." (Tanner and Jenna, p 99).

One of the minor problematic elements in Autoboyography is a sense of abuse between Tanner and Sebastian. It's psychological, not physical and it called out but not in words. Some people won't have an issue with it due to the context but I did. Your identity is your own if Sebastian (or a real-life person) wants to live their life according to a religious doctrine rather that is their prerogative. There is of course the larger issues of homophobia. The LDS elements may be an issue for some readers. It is core to the plot and cannot be ignored. Those with a particular issue or history with such religions/ doctrines/ cults should read with care. I make no judgements on organised religion here.

Reading the acknowledgements I read something interesting. "We started talking about this book years ago; Cristina worked in a junior high counselling office in Utah, and Saw teen after teen coming through who honestly believed, devastatingly, that their parents would probably rather have a dead child than a gay one. As a woman who grew up bi in the queer-friendly world of the Bay-Area, Lauren felt a social obligation to reach out to teens whose experiences weren't as easy". I like that this is where Autoboyography came from. Built on their experiences with at-risk teens. Given this was the source of the idea I love the inclusion a resource section. The Song of Achilles is entirely unsurprisingly, it is hugely popular and stunning. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe has been on my tbr for far too long. The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is an absolute classic and is also a brilliant stage musical. LGBTQ Reads I'd never heard of but it's really good. If I may add my own recommendations; The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (it's my purple pride book) and Cemetry Boys by Aiden Thomas (own voice Trans POC).

[katierosefun]

andddd july flew by, and i’m here to give everyone an unasked for report of...things...i watched / read / listened to this month because why not

kdramas: 

miss hammurabi

aaaah oh my god the way i told myself that i won’t be watching any more legal kdramas because your honor stressed me out so much--but god. i wound up watching this and fell in love with it so fast? miss hammurabi is about a rookie judge (the gal on the right) disrupting the judicial system with her strong sense of justice. i really wasn’t too sure if i’d like her, but oh god. i fell in love with her so fast, with her desire to make the world a better place and her ability to smile even though she’s had a horrific life of her own.

honestly, i really just loved this show, mostly for how it covers so many issues in the courthouse, from working overtime to the emotional fatigue to the frustrations with those brought to court to the actual cases themselves, which are all civil court things (so we get some stuff about sexual harassment, child custody, medical malpractice, etc). this show really demonstrated that each of these cases were important--and also...really hard-hitting. i think i cried at least once per episode just because...yeah. i’m reminded that no one goes to the courthouse because they’re happy or because they’re having a good time, and it really is the job of judges and lawyers to keep a cool head and execute justice the best they can. 

so basically: i loved this show. i loved it a lot more than i thought i would, and that’s always a good thing. there’s also not a whole ton of romance here either, if you’re looking for a show that’s not really too deep into that. it’s def. more focused on depicting the legal field, as well as all of the complications that come with that. as a result, there’s a lot of heartbreaking moments in the show, but there’s also many, many, many uplifting ones that reminded me a lot of why i personally want to enter the legal field. so if you’re looking for a show that might restore your faith in humanity, then i def. recommend this kdrama!

beyond evil 

so.....it’s no secret that i’ve been mildly obsessed with this show. i binge-watched it in the span of...i think four (4) days, so that’s averaging about four episodes (4 hours) a day. let me just say...i was kind of on the fence about watching this, but now i’m really glad that i did because whooo boy, i was in for a ride. basically, this show is about lee dong sik, who was accused of murdering his sister (amongst others) 20 years ago...and han ju won, the young detective / inspector who’s trying to track down the murderer (who he believes is lee dong sik). 

lots of other things happen, but that’s the least spoiler-y summary i can give of this show because....whooooo boy, there’s just so many twists and turns in this show? as soon as you start thinking you have everything figured out, this show tosses in another thing that reminds you of just how clueless you actually are. that said though, none of the twists felt out of place--they all felt very planned and very smart, so kudos to the writers for that! 

overall, i hella enjoyed this show--the plot, the characters (who all want to do the right thing, but they’re all very jaded in their own ways which makes being a 100% good person basically impossible in this monster of a town), and, of course, the relationship between dong sik and ju won. there was just an absolutely fascinating push and pull between their relationship, lots of distrust and mocking each other in the beginning...only to slowly but steadily grow into trust and respect for each other (and in my head, def. something more....but lol i’ll let you guys decide on that for yourself ;)) 

i.....genuinely loved this show. i found this show just incredibly smartly written, and all the characters were incredibly intriguing? and the relationships were all fascinating to me? just. god. this show ripped me apart so many times, and i loved it all the more for it. like. guys. i wrote or started writing about six fics for this show in the span of 48 hours because i love it that much.

movies:

the handmaiden

ohohoho this movie has been on my to watch list for the LONGEST TIME, and i was glad that i gave myself some time to watch this movie at the start of the month, because...whoooo boy, it was so good. this movie is inspired by the book the fingersmith by sarah waters, only whereas i think the book took place in victorian england, this movie takes place in japan-occupied-korea. sook hee, a pickpocket, is hired by a conman to persuade the secluded lady hideko to marry him. the conman plans to later inherit hideko’s wealth and send hideko off to the madhouse. 

many things happen over the course of this movie, and i’m not going to spoil anything, but oh boy...oh boy. i mean, this movie is pretty well-known for the main relationship between the two protagonists, sook hee and hideko. the romance was such a ride, and i thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of it. this movie really said “be gay, do crime” in the best way possible. 

as a quick warning though, this movie definitely is erotic. i kinda knew that heading into the movie, and i was still a little caught off-guard. so maybe if you’re a little squicked out by sex/erotica in general, i’d maybe skip over this movie. that said, this movie was beautifully filmed, with beautiful writing, and the cast was just perfect. i don’t think i’ve seen a movie so beautifully or smartly crafted like this before, and i’m very glad i watched this film. 

the meg

let me caveat by saying....i watched this because my brother wanted to watch it, so i sat through this movie and...y’know? it wasn’t awful. kinda predictable as far as shark movies go, but it wasn’t bad! i found myself enjoying it a little more than i thought i would...? but basically, this movie is about, you guessed it, an underwater research facility that was just looking into a deeper part of the ocean and etc. surprise, they found! a megalodon. multiple megalodons! cue the chaos. 

so...there were definitely some more suspenseful moments. i shouted “these people just KEEP FALLING OFF THE BOAT” a few times. there was one character who i was like “oh man he’s gonna be the villain isn’t he :( darn :(” to “oh hey he has a heart” to “oh never mind” to “ooph”. there were some more slightly emotional moments, but?? not particularly thought-provoking or impactful. so like? overall? it was one of those movies where like....it’s not bad, it’s not really good, but! hey, not all movies need to be incredibly deep to be even somewhat enjoyable! (and like, i mostly just enjoyed watching this movie because my brother and i cracked commentary all throughout it, much to my father’s chagrin.) 

music: 

so, apparently my music taste changes when i’m thinking about something that’s not star wars related, and i saw a bit of that when i was making this playlist for lee dong sik and han joo won from beyond evil. as spotify works, it wound up with me adding a few of my songs that i thought fit them, and then i wound up going into the radio part of my playlist and listening to a lot of new songs, and i just have to list some of my new faves here: 

let me follow by son lux: you know when you hear a song that just feels so...strangely cinematic? like, you get all kinds of vivid images in your head and stuff? this was def. one of those songs. it’s quiet, and there’s something weirdly...ephemeral about it? that’s the only way i can describe it. and mildly haunting. and mildly tragic. idk why, but i think big fans of tragedy & the patroclus/achilles kind of feel might like this song. it’s just. god. i spent 2 hours sitting in my bed just listening to this song on loop. 

not in the same way by 5 seconds of summer: this is a public scolding @ 15 year old me who thought it was lame to like 5sos just because they were getting popular. boo, 15 year old caroline and her “i’m a weirdo, i’m not like other girls or other people my age” phase! because 5sos actually slaps, and this was one of my fave songs? idk. another weirdly cinematic song. the refrain is just chef’s kiss, in the kind of rambly way that leads to a shout. i love that kind of stuff. 

start of time by gabrielle aplin. bro...the way gabrielle aplin’s voice brought me straight back to 2014-2016 era caroline...but weirdly, i haven’t heard this song from her before? and bro. bro....i’ve never wanted to run to the top of a hill and watch the sunrise with a loved one so bad in my whole life. god. idk. if you need a song that makes you feel like. things just might get better. this one’s for you. 

sedated by hozier: okay, so i’ve only ever listened to a handful of hozier songs in my whole life (i know, i know, how can i bicon like myself not listen to hozier 24/7? le sigh), but bro.....bro. i get it now. i get why people screech about hozier. i already liked his music before, but...ah. idk. something very powerful about this song. i now understand why people want to lie down in the middle of the woods when they listen to his music. 

[itsuki-minamy]

“SIX IDOLS” – “SPRINT DREAM” (Part 3)

Translation: Naru-kun Raws: Ridia

* Part 01 / Part 02

An hour after the start of "Sprint Dream Live", the heat in the Tsubakimon Dome was visibly increasing. At the same time as the entrance began, a group of fans flowed into the audience seats like a flood, and they began to furnish the place with posters, posters and items with each of the recommended men drawn. At the same time, fans are excited about the upcoming festival and are looking at the stage with shining eyes.

To meet that expectation, a scene similar to a battlefield was unfolding in the backyard of the stage.

"The president has arrived at Shikaido Station! We will move on to Sequence B!"

"The target has been set at point B! We will wait until the president picks it up!"

In the temporary monitor room with the sign "Headquarters for the execution of the president's return plan", a part of the backyard, reports were constantly being raised.

The purpose of this headquarters is to fully support the return of Munakata. The staff involved are elite to make the "return plan" successful, from organizing and contacting various locations, managing the schedule, passing on traffic information and understanding Munakata's current position.

In one of the compounds in the panel, his current position is always displayed by the Munakata PDA tracking system. Awashima asks the staff while looking at them with a tight gaze.

"What is the progress of the plan?"

"It is 2 minutes and 15 seconds late, but it is within expectations. Currently, the Sequence C execution unit is moving. We will get to Point C on time."

"So…"

Awashima occupies a small area and looks at the monitor.

The plan is going well. At this rate, he can be in time for the opening ceremony, even if it's at the last minute. Unless something unexpected happens.

"Deputy Director Awashima."

Awashima looks around in a loose voice, rolling her shoulders.

Fushimi Saruhiko was as if he was leaning against the monitor room door.

He is the star idol of "Promotion Scepter 4", which is the center of the popular "Shoumutai" unit. Many fans were fascinated by the lonely atmosphere, and about 30% of the customers who packed the dome today are looking for him.

Awashima opens her mouth as she calmly looks at Fushimi.

"Fushimi. You should be in the final stages of doing a "Dream Corps."

"If the president is late, there won't be any 'Shoumutai', right?"

Awashima's beautiful eyebrows drew a dangerous angle.

“The plan is on the right track. You do not have to worry about that."

Fushimi laughs. It was an annoying laugh.

"Isn't there a countermeasure in case we run out of the star? Do you really think he can pull it off?"

"What do you mean?"

Fushimi casually pulled his hand out of his pocket and tossed what he was holding to Awashima. Awashima takes it deftly.

It is a recording medium in the form of a micro card.

"If you don't, I will. I made a new list of songs. If the president is late, I will."

Awashima's expression becomes more and more pronounced in a throwing tone. She squeezes the recording medium and she says quietly.

"Do you think I will receive this?"

"If you don't need it, you can throw it away. I can't bear to expose ourselves to that person's mistakes."

Awashima quickly waved her arm and threw the recording medium back.

"President…"

Fushimi deftly accepts that which came back like a bullet. Awashima, looking at the stagnant eyes behind the glasses as if shooting.

"I will not make any mistakes."

"Sorry."

Fushimi shrugged slightly and went back to his place. Looking back at Awashima over his neck.

"Well, tell me if you need it."

With that alone, Fushimi left the monitor room.

Awashima stared at the monitor room door for a while, staring into his eyes. It's like doing it is a protest against Fushimi.

It's not that she doesn’t understand what Fushimi is saying.

Believing is different from believing blindly. Fushimi's view that he assumes the worst and take countermeasures is entirely correct.

However, Awashima did not receive that song list. She refused to even see it and turned around.

She felt that receiving it would be a distrust of Munakata, who had confirmed that he would be on time.

"The president has reached point C! Collection complete!"

"We have started to move! The plan is going well!"

Awashima muttered unknowingly, listening to the reports that came in one after another.

"President, be careful."

Those words were like a prayer.

++++++++++

That day, Yuri Yamazaki (26) was vaguely in front of Shikaido station.

She works in a product store managed directly by "Promotion Scepter 4". It was supposed to be closed today due to the shift, but she got an urgent call from her boss about 5 minutes ago. She had no particular plan, and she was quick to get to this point because she was drawn to a pretty good vacation assignment.

Anyway, Yuri thinks.

It was a strange call. Being with the bicycle in front of the station instead of the store.

Apparently, they told her to lend the bike to someone, but they did not tell him who to lend it to and only told her the time of the meeting. It would be profitable to get a vacation allowance on this alone, but Yuri checks her cell phone while deeply thinking that she would complain if she was forced to do something else.

Seeing the displayed time, she sighed.

The "Sprint Dream Live Tour" will begin soon. Like most idol shop clerks, she is a fan of “Promotion Scepter 4.” She decided to work at an idol shop because she loved idols.

However, just because she is an employee doesn't mean there are benefits. Controls in that area are tight, and the clerk who secretly secured her own live ticket was sometimes ill. She must take the ticket herself, and if the lottery is lost, the schedule may disappear from the vacation she got, just like the current situation.

Two minutes have passed since the specified time.

"I wonder... if he's late, can I contact him?"

She doesn’t know, the murmur leaks out. After 5 minutes, she will contact the store manager. Thinking of that, she suddenly looked up.

And she doubts her eyes.

Someone was running from the street in front of the station, at tremendous speed. He easily overtook the next bike and came closer. Yuri instinctively tried to back away.

However, when she saw the man's face, she doubted her sanity.

"Ah, President?"

What she unwittingly said was the nickname of Reisi Munakata, the representative of "Promotion Scepter 4" and "Idol King". Naturally, it spread from the case where the idols under his command called him "President."

Faced with the stiff lily, Munakata strode over to a halt. He exhales a little and smiles at Yuri.

"Excuse me, are you a store clerk?"

"Eh, yes!"

Her voice shook. Feel the blood of her entire body concentrate on her face. The reason is that Yuri Yamazaki's favorite idol is Reisi Munakata.

Half in panic, she yells out the questions that come to mind.

"But why are you here?! What happened to the 'Sprint Dream Live Tour'?"

"I'm having a little problem and I've taken a different route than normal. Don't worry, I'll be in time for the opening."

She felt as if the blood that had risen through her head was coming down this time.

In other words, it is an emergency. Yuri was a fan and she knew how confusing it would be to be late for the opening ceremony. Perplexity, pain, disappointment. Just imagining being there, the pain felt like its own.

Yuri rushes up and says.

"Is there anything I can do?!"

“Lend me the bicycle. It's enough."

Yuri blushed again. If she thinks about it again, it was probably all part of the plan coming here. It is not a feat for the Munakata representative to give instructions to the directly administered office.

"Please..."

"Thank you."

Munakata straddled the bike without showing any pretense of noticing Yuri's tension. Somehow, it was an unattainable sight. The King of Idols, who can only be seen on TV or on stage, sits astride her bike.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going."

"Oh, yeah!"

Yuri instinctively stopped Munakata who was trying to get out.

Munakata looks at Yuri with his foot on the pedal. She held her breath with a mysterious look.

("Please sign.")

She had to desperately suppress that desire that came to her mind. Hasn’t she just found out it's an emergency? There is no second chance. And yet, unable to say such a silly request, that embarrassment forced Yuri's awkward smile and false words.

"Please do your best. I support you!"

Munakata, however, was looking at Yuri's face with calm eyes that looked through all her smile and strength. Munakata laughed lightly at Yuri, who suddenly became flustered and reached into her pocket.

"What should I write?"

"Eh?"

"I have a pen, but I don't really have colored paper. It's not in good taste with a notepad."

Yuri blinked many times. The feeling of regret, even the time she was wandering and wondering why him could see through her desires made her stiff.

Yuri handed him the PDA she was holding in her outstretched hand to Munakata. With her voice asking "Is it okay here?", she was fascinated by the magically moving pen. She picked up the PDA again, looking at the Munakata signature written there, and it was like a soliloquy.

"Why...?"

"I am an idol."

Munakata's response, as well as their relationship, was open and frozen.

"Idols live up to the expectations of their fans. My job is to capture your expectations."

"......"

"Good luck then. Thank you for your continued support."

With a courteous greeting, Munakata pedaled off the road in no time.

Yuri holds her PDA to her chest while watching him back. She murmured in an emotional voice, promising to turn it into a relic, and she was about to buy a new one.

"President, I will follow you for the rest of my life!"

To be continue…

[kdramalifee]

What are your most favorite/recommended dramas? I've honestly only have watched 4 cause never know where to start once I finish one. Thank you!! 💕

Sorry of the late reply ❤

Here’s a “few” dramas that I enjoyed. Some of them fall into more than one category so I’ve written what categories I feel they fall into for each one. I’m going to write the amount of episodes for each show, but I’ll only be counting by (approx.) hour, so if the drama has 32 episodes where each “episode” is half an hour, I’ll write it as 16 episodes. Also some of these have several names, so I’ve just used the one they use on mydramalist. I’ve bolded my favourites.

This list might seem a bit daunting (as it is quite long) but I recommend looking at the specific genres you know you enjoy and just pick one you think seems interesting (there’s no shame in dropping a drama if it doesn’t grip you). If you can’t decide which one to start first, send me a message with the ones you’re trying to choose between and I’ll help you decide ^^

Action/suspense/Crime:

Bad Guys: 11 episodes, Action, Thriller, Psychological. A police detective gathers a team of criminals to combat crime in exchange for reducing their sentence. Throughout the drama, secrets are revealed. 

Class of Lies: 16 episodes, Suspense, School, Mystery, Law. A highly successful lawyer falls from grace after the fallout from one of his cases. He fakes his identity to get the position as a teacher at the school connected to this case in an attempt to uncover the truth and save his reputation. 

Cross: 16 episodes, Medical, Suspense. To get revenge for the death of his father, Kang In Kyu becomes a (highly skilled) doctor/surgeon and gets a job at the prison where his father’s killer resides in order to kill him.

Doubtful Victory: 20 episodes, Mystery, Crime. A man who was wrongfully sentenced to death when he was younger escapes from prison and fakes his identity as a police officer to help prove his innocence.  (Just a heads up: I don’t think a lot of people liked this drama (it gets a bit draggy in the middle). I liked it, but I think that’s an unpopular opinion)  

Kill It: 12 episodes, Action, Thriller. Kim Soo Hyun is a veterinarian who is also a professional killer. One day he is hired in exchange for information about his past. At the same time a detective is trying to find Kim Soo Hyun. They both uncover a mystery regarding their shared past. 

Healer: 20 episodes, Romance, Action, Mystery.  "Healer” is a special kind of night courier, that gets his clients whatever they want, as long as it doesn't involve murder. He is hired by a famous reporter to collect information on a second-rate tabloid writer. He begins to uncover the mystery of his own shared past with the two reporters, thus putting them all in danger. (This is a very popular drama that a lot of people have seen, so if you haven’t seen it I would recommend it.)

Mad Dog: 16 episodes, Action, Investigation, Mystery. A group calling themselves “Mad Dog” fights against insurance scams. They start working with Kim Min Joon, the brother of the man who crashed a plane killing the child and wife of the leader of Mad Dog. They try to uncover the truth behind the plane crash.

Player: 14 episodes, Action, Investigation. A private investigation team consisting of a swindler, a fighter, an elite hacker, and a talented driver is asked to take back property hidden away by criminals.

Save Me: 16 episodes, Psychological, Suspense. Following the failure of her father's business, Sang Mi and her family move to Muji-gun where they have no friends or relatives. After a tragic event, the family is taken in by the “Spiritual Father” resulting in them being trapped in a cult. Four young men try to save her.  

Stranger: 16 episodes, Investigation, Mystery.  Hwang Shi Mok had brain surgery when he was a child, which caused him to lack emotion. Now, Hwang Shi Mok works as a prosecutor. He meets Police Lieutenant Han Yeo Jin at a murder crime scene and they work together to eradicate corruption at the prosecutor's office and solve a serial murder case.

The Guardians: 16 episodes, Action, Thriller.  After the murder of her daughter, Jo Soo Ji joins forces with a few other people to monitor criminals 24 hours a day and rescue potential victims before the crime is committed. Together with these people she fights to get justice for her daughter, who’s murderer is still free.

WATCHER: 16 episodes, Action, Suspense, Investigation. Kim Young Goon became a police officer after his father was imprisoned for the murder of his mother. The detective who imprisoned his father is the leader of the internal affairs investigation team and gets Young Goon to join in order to fight against corruption and uncover the truth behind the tragic incident.  

Fantasy/sci-fi: 

Angels Last Mission: Love: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy.  Lee Yeon Seo is the prima ballerina, but after an accident she has to give up her dream. After her parents' sudden death, she doesn’t trust anyone since there are a lot of people lurking around her and her inherited money. Kim Dan is an optimistic, carefree angel who is always getting into trouble. In order to return to heaven, he is tasked with a mission to find true love for the talented but emotionally distant ballerina

Are You Human Too?: 18 episodes, Romace, Sci-fi. After loosing her son to her father in law, a woman creates an android to replace him. Years later the android called Nam Shin III must pretend to be the son of the rich family when the real Nam Shin falls into a coma.

Chicago Typewriter: 16 episodes, Fantasy/Supernatural, Romance. The story of a popular writer suffering from writers block, a fan of said author and a literal GHOST writer who starts writing for the main character. In a past life, these three people were all members of the resistance wanting to free Korea from the Japanese occupation. The story is set in modern times and in the 1930′s. 

Circle: 12 episodes, Alien, Sci-fi, Mystery. This drama is set in both 2017 and the year 2037. In 2017 we follow the story of a college student working together with a woman that looks identical to a girl he knew as a child to investigate suicides that she insists are actually murders. In 2037 technology has advanced to the point where you can control human emotion (creating a city without crime). A detective enters this city in order to investigate a missing persons case from 2017. (The first half of each episode is set in 2017, the other half in 2037). 

Duel: 16 episodes, Sci-fi, Crime, Suspense. After his daughter gets kidnapped a detective tries all he can to get her back. Suddenly the culprit shows up without any memories, denying that he has anything to do with the case. They work together to find the detectives daughter and uncover secrets along the way. 

EXIT: 2 episodes (drama special), Sci-fi, Psychological.  Kang Soo is a loan shark that tries to get by day to day in his depressing reality. No matter how hard he tries, he can't escape the nightmare of his reality, and when he was about to give up on his life, he sees a flier asking, "Do you want to become happy?" He goes to the research center, however, he learns that happiness comes at a steep price of 300,000 dollars. He decides to steal the money.

Extraordinary You: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy, School.  Eun Dan Oh, a 17 year-old high-school student, experiences gaps in her memory and eventually comes to the realization that she’s living in a comic book. Not only that, but she is also a secondary character who’s supposed to die later on in the story due to a heart condition. She decides to change her fate and defy the writer to get a happy ending for herself. 

Go Back Couple: 12 episodes, Fantasy, Life, Romance.  Choi Ban Do and Ma Jin Joo are both 38-years-old and a married couple. Choi Ban Do has been burdened with being the breadwinner and Ma Jin Joo is a housewife with low self-esteem. Even though they loved each other when they married, they now hate each other. They both regret marrying at such a young age. The couple travels through time and finds themselves as 20-year-old university students when they met for the first time.

He is Psychometric: 16 episodes, Fantasy, Romance, Mystery, Comedy. After losing his parents in a fire, Lee Ahn acquires the power of psychometry, the ability to read a person or an object's past through physical contact, and he decides to use it to take bad people down. While he does not know how to control his power yet, he meets Yoon Jae In who tries her best to hide her painful secrets. Together with his foster guardian, prosecutor Kang Sung Mo, and the latter's colleague, investigator Eun Ji Soo, they team up to solve an elusive case that has been haunting the lives of Ahn, Sung Mo, and Jae In.

Life on Mars: 16 episodes, Fantasy, Mystery, Suspense. As leader of a crime investigation team, Han Tae Joo has propelled his career and risen through the ranks by trusting data over all else. One day, while investigating a serial murder case, he has an accident. When he wakes up, he suddenly finds himself in the winter of 1988. He doesn't know why, but he's now a detective appointed to work at a police station in a small city. To get back to the present day, Han Tae Joo tries to solve the case.

Signal: 16 episodes, Mystery, Fantasy, Crime.  Fifteen years ago, a young girl was kidnapped on the way from school, and Park Hae Yeong, who was an elementary school student at that time, witnessed the crime. A few days later, the girl was found dead, and the police were not able to find the culprit. As time went by, Hae Yeong started distrusting the police. Fifteen years later, Hae Yeong is now a police officer and criminal profiler. One day, he finds a walkie-talkie that allows him to get in contact with Detective Lee Jae Han who is in the past. They then set out on a journey to solve cold cases.

Splash Splash Love: 2 episodes (Drama Special), Romance, Fantasy. Dan Bi is a high school senior who has given up on math. On the day she is about to take the KSAT for college, she is transported back into the past during a freak rain shower. She finds herself hundreds of years in the past at the height of the Joseon Kingdom, which is suffering from a severe drought. She encounters King Lee Do who yearns to learn advanced mathematics and falls in love with him.

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon: 16 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Bong Soon is a woman with supernatural strenght who pines after a childhood crush who now works as a police officer. She is approached by the CEO of a gaming company who has a distrust for the police and she starts working as a bodyguard for him. (There are some problematic elements to this show, but the romance is really sweet) 

The Guest: 16 episodes, Supernatural, Horror, Mystery. It centers around three characters who had their lives ruined by a demon called “Son” (the guest) when they were kids. Yoon Hwa Pyung is a psychic that can see ghosts and who was once possessed by “Son” causing his mother and his grandmother to die and his father to try to kill him. Kang Gil Young is a detective whose mother was killed by the demon and Choi Yoon/ Mateo is a catholic priest that exorcises demons and whose brother was once possessed by “Son” causing him to kill his family. They band together to find and stop “Son”.

You Who Came From the Stars: 21 episodes, Romance, Fantasy. Do Min Joon is an alien who landed on Earth 400 years ago during the Joseon Dynasty period. He possesses a near perfect appearance and enhanced physical abilities involving his vision, hearing and speed. Later, he discovers that he has three months left on Earth. And that is when he meets Cheon Song Yi, the biggest Hallyu star in Korea.

Romance:

Come and Hug Me: 16 episodes, Suspense, Romance, Melodrama. When they were children, Yoon Na Moo and Gil Nak Won were each others first love. They are forced to break apart when Na Moo's father Yoon Hee Jae, a psychopath serial killer, murders Nak Won's parents. 12 years later, Jae Yi has become a popular actress and Do Jin is now an experienced detective trying to repent for his fathers sins. They meet again and start to develop a relationship.

Descendants of the Sun: 16 episodes, Romance, Medical, Action. Kang Mo Yeon works as a cardiothoracic surgeon and Yoo Shi Jin is the Captain and team leader of Alpha Team. They both get sent into an area of conflict, and start to devolop a relationship.

Hospital Ship: 20 episodes, Romance, Medical. This drama is about army doctors aboard a hospital ship, which is a floating hospital that serves people who live on remote islands. Eun Jae, a cold perfectionist surgeon whose fast-track career was derailed, starts working at the ship.

Just Between Lovers: 16 episodes, Romance, Melodrama. A shopping center collapses killing many people. When he was 15, Lee Gang Doo dreamed of playing for the Korean national soccer team, but a serious injury sustained as a result of the accident destroys those dreams. In the years after the accident, Gang Doo spends his days fighting through physical and emotional pain, struggling to support his sister and pay back a hefty debt, and working as a construction worker. When she was 15, Ha Moon Soo lived through the accident, and years later she is still plagued by nightmares. She lives above the women’s bath house that her mother runs and specializes in making architectural models that are an important safety element in any major building planning process. Years after the incident, a construction project is due to kick-off at the accident site, and they both get involved in the project, causing them to develop a relationship while struggling with the painful memories it brings back. 

Shopping King Louie: 16 episodes, Romance. The story of “Shopaholic Louie” revolves around a handsome shopaholic named Louie, who is the successor of a vast business empire but becomes homeless after suffering from amnesia. Meanwhile, Koh Bok Shil, a country girl who lives a life that is worlds apart from the rich and famous, encounters Louie in Seoul. They develop a relationship.

Thirty but Seventeen: 16 episodes, Romance. Woo Seo Ri, a violin prodigy at 17 who was about to study in Germany, got into a bus accident and fell into a coma waking up 13 years later. Mentally she is still only 17, while physically she is now 30. Due to a trauma he experienced 13 years before, Gong Woo Jin does not want to have a relationship with others. They get to know each other and try and open the door to the happiness that they once thought had been closed to them.

When the Camellia Blooms: 20 episodes, Romance, Thriller, Life. Dong Baek is a single mother living in the small town of Ongsan. She runs the bar-restaurant Camellia, while also taking care of her son Pil Gu. The people of Ongsan frequently gossip about Dong Baek. She grew up as an orphan, is a single mother and runs a bar where many of the men in Ongsan frequent. Regardless of what the locals may whisper about Dong Baek, local police officer Hwang Yong Shik is deeply in love with her. Meanwhile, Dong Baek's ex-boyfriend Kang Jong Ryeol suddenly reappears in her life. He is a famous baseball player, that hid their relationship when they dated. While Dong Baek tries to find happiness, something truly sinister lurks in the background. A serial killer roams Ongsan and Dong Baek may be a target.

Historical:

Kingdom: 6 episodes, Action, Historical, Zombie. The King falls ill to smallpox and rumors start to spread that he has actually died. Meanwhile, Crown Prince Lee Chang is labeled a traitor by the Haewon Cho Clan, the clan of the current pregnant Queen and her father, Chief State Councillor Cho Hak Joo. While trying to uncover the mystery of what happened to his father, the Crown Prince goes with his guard, Moo Young, to Dongnae to look for the physician that treated his father, only to be stuck with Assistant Physician Seo Bi and a mysterious man named Young Shin in a village plagued with a terrifying disease.

My Country: 16 episodes, Historical, Action, Romance, Tragedy. Two friends ends up on opposite sides in a conflict involving the fight for the crown. Confronted with betrayal the two of them have to learn how to fight against their best friend all while trying to stay good in a cruel world.  

The Tale of Nokdu: 16 episodes, Action, Romance, Comedy. One day, Nok Du’s father and older brother are attacked by a group of female assassins. Jeon Nok Du chases after one of the assassins to the capital. To find out why his family was attacked, Jeon Nok Du disguises himself as a woman and enters a widow village where the assassins are hiding. There, he meets Dong Dong Ju who is an apprentice to become a gisaeng.

Misc:

Age of Youth: 12 episodes, Friendship, Life.  Five girls in their twenties come to live together in a house called "Belle Epoque. As the girls feel a bond of sympathy and become closer, they also deal with their personal issues as they live out their eventful twenties. The drama follows their struggles and incidents dealing with relationships - within their circles, with dating, and with each other - and a variety of events they are experiencing including credits, part-time jobs, drinking, hopes and dreams. (This drama also has a second season)

Avengers Social Club: 12 episodes, Friendship, Life.  Features three women from different walks of life coming together for revenge: a fish store ajumma who envisioned a better life for herself, a housewife, and a chaebol’s daughter who was raised like a delicate greenhouse flower. They’re an unlikely trio who would never otherwise meet, but they join forces to carry out their individual revenges. Although they start out as co-conspirators, along the way they’ll build a strong friendship.

Chief Kim: 20 episodes, Business, Comedy. Kim Sung Ryong is a skilled accountant who works for gangsters. He makes his way into a company called TQ Group as a middle manager in the accounting department with the intention of embezzling money from the company. As he contends with hot-shot accountant Yoon Ha Kyung, financial prodigy Seo Yul and peppy intern Hong Ga Eun, Sung Ryong finds himself embroiled in office politics and notices other shenanigans by those in power that threaten to bring down the company. Sung Ryong slowly comes to realize that he’d rather fight against corporate corruption and fight for employees’ rights than complete the mission he originally came to do. 

Miss Hammurabi: 16 episodes, Law, Romance. Park Cha Oh Reum is a newly appointed judge who is assigned to the 44th Civil Affairs Department at the Seoul Central District. She is always on the lookout for injustice and is able to profoundly empathize with others. Compared to her, Im Ba Reun is a cool-headed man of principle with the creed of ‘Court that is equal to all’, and he is displeased with junior judge Park Cha Oh Reum who is overly sympathetic when it comes to cases. (There is one moment in the first episode (I believe) where something problematic occurs, but I think its only that one thing). 

Psychopath Diary: 16 episodes, Comedy, Mystery.  Yook Dong Sik is a 34-year-old office worker who is so weak and timid that he is used by everybody around him. After an incident, he becomes the scapegoat of his company, and so facing losing his job and his family turning their back on him, he decides to commit suicide. While doing so, he unexpectedly stumbles across a murder scene, but gets into an accident while running from the murderer. He wakes up with amnesia with the psychopath's diary in his possession. With no clues to his true nature other than the diary,and his fragmented memory lining up with the diary entry, he begins to believe that he is in fact a psychopath serial killer.

Happy watching! 

[greatfay]

controversial opinions?

Cold pizza actually not good. Tastes like angry bacteria.

There’s a completely separate class of gay men who are in a different, rainbow-tinted plane of reality from the rest of us and I don’t like them. They push for “acceptance” via commercialization of the Pride movement, assimilation through over-exposure, and focus on sexualizing the movement to be “provocative” and writing annoying articles that reek of class privilege instead of something actually important like lgbtqa youth homelessness, job discrimination, and mental health awareness.

Coleslaw is good. You guys just suck in the kitchen.

Generational divides ARE real: a 16-year-old and a 60-year-old right now in 2021 could agree on every hot button sociopolitical topic and yet not even realize it because they communicate in entirely different ways.

Sam Wilson is a power bottom. No I will not elaborate.

Allison’s makeover in The Breakfast Club good, not bad. She kept literally and metaphorically dumping her trash out onto the table and it’s clearly a cry for help. Having the attention and affection of a smart, pretty girl doing her makeup for her was sweet and helped her open up to new experiences. Not every loner wants to BE a loner (see: Bender, who is fine being a lone wolf).

Movie/show recommendations that start with a detailed “representation” list read like status-effecting gear in an RPG and it’s actually a turn-off for me. I have to force myself to give something a try in spite of it.

Yelling at people to just “learn a new language” because clearly everyone who isn’t you and your immediate vicinity of friends must be a lazy ignorant white American is so fucking stupid, like I get it, you’re mad someone doesn’t immediately know how to pronounce your name or what something means. But I know 2 languages and am struggling with a 3rd when I can between 2 jobs and quite frankly, I don’t have the time to just absorb the entire kanji system into my brain to learn Japanese by tomorrow night, or suddenly learn Arabic or Welsh. There are 6500 recorded languages in the world, what’s the chance that one of 3 I’ve learn(ed?) is the one you’re yelling at me about. Yes this is referring to that post yelling at people for not knowing how to pronounce obscure Irish names and words. Sometimes just explaining something instead of admonishing people for not knowing something inherently in the belief that everyone must be lazy entitled privileged people is uh... better?

Stop fucking yelling at people. I despise feeling like someone is yelling at me or scolding me, it triggers my Violence Mode, you don’t run me, you are not God, fuck off. Worst fucking way to "educate” people, it just feels good in the moment to say or write and doesn’t help. Yes I’ve done it before.

Violence is good actually.

Characters doing bad things ≠ an endorsement of bad things. Characters doing bad things that are unquestioned by the entire rest of the cast = endorsement of bad things, or at the least, a power fantasy by the creator. See: Glee, in which Sue’s awfulness is constantly called out, while Mr. Shue’s awfulness rarely is because he’s “the hero.” See also: the Lightbringer series, in which the protagonist is a violent manipulator who is praised as clever, charming, diplomatic, and genius by every supporting character (enemies included), despite the text never demonstrating such.

Euphoria is good, actually. It falls into this niche of the past decade of “dark gritty teen shows” but actually has substance behind it, but the general vibe I get from passive-aggressive tumblr posts from casual viewers is that this show is The Devil, and the criticism of its racier content screams pearl-clutching “what about the children??” to me.

Describing all diagnosed psychopaths as violent criminals is a damaging slippery slope, sure. But I won’t be mad at anyone for inherently distrusting another human who does not have the ability to feel guilt and remorse, empathy, is a pathological liar, or proves to be cunning and manipulative.

It’s actually not easy to unconditionally support and love everyone everywhere when you’ve actually experienced the World. Your perspective and values will be challenged as you encounter difficult people, experience hardship, are torn between conflicting ideas and commitments, and fail. My vow to never ever call the cops on another black person was challenged when an employee’s boyfriend marched into the kitchen OF AN ESTABLISHMENT to scream at her, in a BUSINESS I MANAGED, and threaten to BEAT the SHIT out of her. Turns out I can hate cops and hate that motherfucker equally, I am more than capable of both.

Defending makeup culture bad, actually. Enjoy it, experiment, master it, but don’t paint it as something other than upholding exactly what they want from you. Even using makeup to “defy the heteropatriarchal oppressors!” is still putting cash in their pockets, no matter how camp...

Not every villain needs to be redeemed, some of you just never outgrew projecting yourself onto monsters and killers.

Writing teams and networks queerbaiting is not the same as individuals queerbaiting. Nick Jonas performing exclusively at gay clubs to generate an audience really isn’t criminal; if they paid to go see him, that’s on them, he didn’t promise anyone anything other than music and a show. Do not paint this as similar to wealthy, bigoted executives and writing teams trying to snatch up the LGBTQA demographic with vague ass marketing and manipulative screenplays, only to cop out so as not to alienate their conservative audiences. And ESPECIALLY when the artists/actors/creators accused of queerbaiting or lezploitation then come out as queer in some form later on.

Queer is not a bad word, and I’ve no clue how that remains one of few words hurled at LGBTQA people that can’t be reclaimed. It’s so archaic and underused at this point that I don’t get the reaction to it compared to others.

People who defend grown-woman Lorelai Gilmore’s childish actions and in the same breath heavily criticize teenage religious abuse victim Lane Kim’s actions are not to be trusted. Also Lane deserved better.

Keep your realism out of my media, or at least make it tonally consistent. Tired of shows and movies and books where some gritty, dark shit comes out of nowhere when the narrative was relatively Romantic beforehand.

Actually people should be writing characters different from themselves, this new wave in the past year of “If you aren’t [X] you shouldn’t be writing [X]” is a complete leap backward from the 2010s media diversity movement. And if [X] has to do with an invisible minority status (not immediately visible disabilities, or diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, persecuted religious affiliations, mental illness) it’s actually quite fucked up to assume the creator can’t be whatever [X] is or to demand receipts or details of someone’s personal life to then grant them “permission” to create something. I know, we’re upset an actual gay actor wasn’t casted to play this gay character, so let’s give them shit about it: and not lose a wink of sleep when 2 years later, this very actor comes out and gives a detailed account of the pressure to stay closeted if they wanted success in Hollywood.

Projecting an actor’s personal romantic life and gender identity onto the characters they play is actually many levels of fucked up, and not cute or funny. See: reinterpreting every character Elliot Page has played through a sapphic lens, and insulting his ability to play straight characters while straight actors play actual caricatures of us (See also: Jared Leto. Fuck him).

I’m fucking sick of DaBaby, he sucks. “I shot somebody, she suck my peepee” that’s 90% of whatever he raps about.

“Political Correctness” is not new. It was, at one point, unacceptable to walk into a fine establishment and inform the proprietor that you love a nice firm pair of tits in your face. 60 years ago, such a statement would get you throw out and possibly arrested under suspicion of public intoxication. But then something happened and I blame Woodstock and Nixon. And now I have to explain to a man 40 years my senior that no, you can’t casually mention to the staff here, many of whom are children, how you haven’t had a good fuck in a while. And then rant about the “Chinese who gave us the virus.” Can’t be that upset with them if you then refused to wear your mask for 20 minutes.

Triggering content should not have a blanket ban; trigger warnings are enough, and those who campaign otherwise need to understand the difference between helping people and taking away their agency. 13 Reasons Why inspired this one. Absolutely shitty show, sure, but it’s a choice to watch it knowing exactly what it contains.

Sasuke’s not a fucking INTJ, he’s an ISFP whose every decision is based off in-the-moment feelings and proves incapable of detailed and logical planning to accomplish his larger goals.

MCU critique manages to be both spot-on and pointless. Amazing stories have been told with these characters over the course of decades; but most of it is toilet paper. Expecting a Marvel movie to be a deeply detailed examination of American nationalism and imperialism painted with a colorful gauze of avant-garde film technique is like expecting filet mignon from McDonalds. Scarf down your quarter pounder or gtfo.

Disparagingly comparing the popularity and (marginal) success of BLM to another movement is anti-black. It is not only possible but also easy to ask for people’s support without throwing in “you all supported BLM for black people but won’t show support for [insert group]” how about you keep our name out your mouth? Black people owe the rest of the world nothing tbh until yall root out the anti-blackness in your own communities.

It is the personal demon/tragic flaw of every cis gay/bi/pan man to externalize and exorcize Shame: I’m talking about the innate compulsion to Shame, especially in the name of Pride and Progress. Shame for socioeconomic “success,” shame for status of outness, shame for fitness and health, shame for looks, shame for style and dress, shame for how one fits into the gender binary, shame for sexual positions and intimacy preferences, shame for fucking music tastes. Put down the weapon that They used to beat you. Becoming the Beater is not growth, it’s the worst-case scenario.

Works by minorities do not have to be focused on their marginalized identities. Some ladies want to ride dragons AND other ladies. The pressure on minorities to create the Next Great Minority Character Study that will inevitably get snuffed at the Oscars/Peabody Awards is some bullshit when straight white dudes walk around shitting out mediocre screenplays and books.

Canadians can stfu about how the US is handling COVID-19 actually. Love most of yall, but the number of Canadian snowbirds on vacation (VACATION??? VA.CAT.ION.) in the supposed “hotbed” of my region that I’ve had to inform our mask policies and social distancing to is ASTOUNDING. Incroyable! I guess your country has a sizable population of entitled, privileged, inconsiderate, wealthy, and ignorant people making things difficult for everyone, just like mine :)

No trick to eliminate glasses fog while wearing my mask has worked, not a single one, it actually has affected my job and work speed and is incredibly frustrating, and I have to deal with it and pretend it’s not a problem while still encouraging others to follow the rules for everyone’s safety and the cognitive dissonance is driving me insane.

It’s really really really not anti-Japanese... to be uncomfortable with the rampant pedophilia in manga and anime, and voice this. I really can’t compare western animation’s sneakier bullshit with pantyshots of a 12-year-old girl.

Most of the people in the cottagecore aesthetic/tag have zero interest in all the hard work that comes with maintaining an isolated property in the countryside, milking cows and tending crops before sunrise, etc. And that’s okay? They just like flowers and pretty pottery and homemade pastries. Idk where discourse about this came from.

You think mint chip ice-cream tastes like toothpaste because you’re missing a receptor that can distinguish the flavors, and that sucks for you. It’s a sort of “taste-blindness” that can make gum spicy to some while others can eat a ghost pepper without crying.

Being a spectacle for the oppressive class doesn’t make them respect us, it makes them unafraid of us. This means they continue to devour us, but without fear of our retaliation.

Only like 4 people on tumblr dot com are actually prepared for the full ramifications of an actual revolution. The rest of you just really imprinted onto Katniss, or grew up in the suburbs.

Straight crushes are normal. They’re people first, sexual orientation second. Can’t always know.

The road to body positivity is not easy, especially if what you desire is what you aren’t.

You’re actually personally responsible for not voluntarily bringing yourself into an environment that you know is not fit for you unless you have the resolve to manage it. Can’t break a glass ceiling without getting a few cuts. This one’s a shoutout to my homophobic temp coworkers who decided working a venue with a drag show would be a good idea. This is also is a shoutout to people who want to make waves but are surprised when the boat tips. And also a shoutout to people who—wait that’s it’s own controversial opinion hold up.

Straight people can and should stay the fuck out of gay bars and queer spaces. “yoUrE bEInG diVisiVe” go fuck yourself.

[canchewread]

Editor’s Note: after a sad and frustrating month, I’m back on the horse and hoping to resume regular writing again for roughly the next three and a half weeks before I program in a week off for the seasonal holidays.

In the time I was away, or rather writing only sporadically, I did have the occasion to power through roughly ten or so of the books in my Library, and as such I figured it might be worthwhile to cover some “book review” type posts in our regular “Quickshot Quotations” pieces for the next little while. Obviously the goal here is to produce shorter quotes and more focused reviews as opposed to the more traditional “lengthy quote plus review plus essay” format I typically write here on Can’t You Read. Although this is in no way ideal, the simple truth is that I read a lot more books than I could reasonably write a full-length essay about and as such this gives me a chance to cover a broader spectrum of the works in my Library over time.

Today’s post goes out to regular readers who have been teasing me on social media for refusing to review books I don’t like here on Can’t You Read; you’re in for a special treat because this edition of “Quickshot Quotations” finally features a book I’m unable to recommend without so many caveats as to call into question its value even for antifascist scholars - David Neiwert’s “Alt-America: the Rise of the Radical Right in the Age of Trump.”

In complete fairness, I should start by pointing out that I don’t think Alt-America is a bad book by any stretch of the imagination, and indeed there are some things about Neiwert’s magnum opus expose of American reactionary movements that cast a fresh light on the disastrous election of Donald Trump and the ongoing fallout from that event in our society.

Although Neiwert is hardly an engaging writer, his style is fairly accessible and comparable to the everyday journalism you’ll find in ostensibly “liberal” corporate media like say, The New Republic, or the US edition of The Guardian. Furthermore, the material presented in Alt-America is thoroughly researched and Neiwert’s two decades worth of tracking the reactionary right affords him some keen insights about seemingly divergent elements of the preexisting right wing revanchist movements that would coalesce around Downmarket Mussolini and improbably (or perhaps not so improbably) propel Trump to victory over Clinton in the 2016 US presidential election. In particular, the author’s examination of the (recently resurgent) decades-old American militia movement is the type of far-reaching analysis that has been otherwise so lacking in the mainstream liberal conception of anti-fascism and the Trump moment.

Unfortunately however, it is precisely this “mainstream liberal conception of anti-fascism” that seemingly blinds Neiwert to the true nature of the problem and ultimately makes it impossible for me to recommend Alt-America to readers who are not already familiar with the class dynamics, market forces and crisis of confidence in our institutions, that is driving the rise of so-called “right wing populism.”

In Niewert’s telling of the tale behind the Klepto Kaiser’s ascendance to the Oval Office, the devil in the details is not “economic stagnation in the northern Midwest, but... a far-right racist movement had been growing since the early 90s, which both enabled Trump’s victory and has been legitimized by it.” Tracing a line from the reactionary American militia movements of the 1990′s, through the (largely Astroturfed) fusion of the “black helicopter” right and pro-banking conservatives under the auspices of the Tea Party and finally to the “basket full of deplorables” who form what is commonly known as “Trumpism”, the author paints a compelling picture of an irresponsible media driven by untested technology, a crass opportunistic Republican Party happy to trade in conspiracy theories for votes and good old fashioned white supremacy, working together to put Donald Trump over Clinton and into the White House.

There is even some merit in these arguments. After all, Neiwert is probably correct in defining Trump’s presidency as both a logical byproduct of and an accelerant for a preexisting, uniquely American brand of fascism. Furthermore, the author is hardly the only expert to argue that U.S. media played a crucial (and tragic) role in electing Downmarket Mussolini. Finally, while it may be absurd to say that all Trump supporters are white supremacists, it’s also utterly impossible to deny that none of them had a problem voting for one.

The problem of course is that Donald Trump didn’t magically draw a bunch of voting nazis out of the woodwork to overwhelm an innocent and unsuspecting Democratic Party at the ballot box. In fact, if you look at the raw numbers it’s pretty clear that Trump’s final share of the vote looks an awful lot like Mitt Romney’s doomed 2012 run against incumbent Democrat president Barack Obama, with a moderate increase for overall population growth in the United States. By contrast, Hillary Clinton (who still won the popular vote) finished with slightly fewer votes than Obama did in 2012 - which, when you factor in the same population growth that put Trump above Romney, clearly indicates that the problem wasn’t fascists coming out to vote, but some combination of Democratic Party voters staying home and the American Electoral College system.

About Clinton’s inability to turn out voters and disastrous campaign, Neiwert has little to say; choosing to focus on the Alt-Right’s ability to weaponize social media through conspiracy theories instead of attempting to square the circle found in the argument that Midwestern racism prevented registered Democrats who voted for Obama, from casting a ballot in favor of a 69 year old white multi-millionaire whose husband had already been elected president, twice. Nor does the author have much to offer on the subject of the devastation wrought by neofeudalism in the very states Clinton lost due to low turnout, or the profound distrust American society has developed in its mainstream media, or the Democratic Party’s wholesale abandonment of the labor class in favor of the numerically smaller “professional managerial class” that now dominates most of the party’s rank and file concerns.

In other words, while Neiwert has a lot to offer on the subject of how Republican voters could easily reconcile themselves with an unhinged fascist like Trump, he has very little to offer (besides platitudes about “talking to Trump voters more”) on the subject of how the liberal mainstream consensus has contributed to their own demise by alienating (presumably) non-fascist, Democrat voters. For all of its positive qualities, Alt America never quite gets down to accepting that healthy societies don’t elect fascists and that the crumbling edifice of our openly corrupt institutions had as much to do with the election of a con artist like Trump, as America’s longstanding love affair with conspiracy theories and white supremacy. In the end you’re left with a book that tries to explain American fascism without discussing class tensions and in doing so, provides an excellent examination of the “what” but not the “why” behind the political ascendance of the reactionary US right and their chosen avatar, Donald Trump.

- nina illingworth

Independent writer, critic and analyst with a left focus. Please help me fight corporate censorship by sharing my articles with your friends online!

You can find my work at ninaillingworth.com, Can’t You Read, Media Madness and my Patreon Blog

. Updates available on Twitter, Mastodon and Facebook.

Chat with fellow readers online at Anarcho Nina Writes on Discord!

[vivypotter]

Vivy’s Harry Potter Fic Recs

I’ve had a load of people ask me for my favourite tomarry fics, so I thought I’d compile a fic rec! This will probably be updated as I think of things. However, I have a lot of favourite fics which aren’t Tomarry, so I thought I’d add a few other pairings as well. I think I’ll put up a few recs of other fandoms as well when I get ‘round to it, like Hannibal or the Hobbit (I have weird reading habits okay?) It’ll help me find them too xD.

Tom Riddle or Voldemort/Harry Potter

Consuming Shadows by Child_OTKW (WIP)

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.

I feel this is genuinely one of the best Tomarry fanfics maybe ever written, and I’m sure you’ve probably read it since it’s so popular - but I thought I’d recommend it anyway! It’s not finished, but there’s enough of it to really sink your teeth into and action is properly going down right now. Harry is such an interesting character and his cat and mouse dynamic with Voldemort is so entertaining. I anxiously wait for every update!

Set the Sails (and don’t look back) by Terrific Lunacy (Complete)

1724. All Harry wanted to do was to cross the Atlantic and start his apprenticeship under one of the most renowned physicians. Tom Riddle is convinced everything floating in the seven seas belongs to him. That includes ship-wrecked, green-eyed youths. Especially if they tell him to fuck off.

This is a fic that’s really stuck with me. It’s complete (a miracle in the tomarry fandom) and there’s a fun back-and-forth between Voldemort and Harry. Our goodhearted Harry is a doctor! And for some reason, I’ve been really into Pirate AUs recently.

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars by haplesshippo (Complete)

Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.

Another pirate AU, kind of! But this one is in space! And it’s actually more of a Star Trek AU. Okay, it’s not really a pirate AU but I wanted to keep the theme going. This is such a freaking good fic- the relationship between Tom and Harry is very unusual (not as combative as the last two fics) and there are some nice twists, as well as combination of HP lore and what I assume is Star Trek (I’ve never seen it okay). And the extended cast is excellent. I fully recommend!

The Dragon's Mate by Strange_Soulmates (Complete fics but WIP series)

Harry Potter has recently escaped from his dragon-guarded tower. So has his fellow prisoner - the dragon who was enchanted to guard him. Harry's friend is missing, however, and so he sets off to assure himself of his well-being before he finds the person responsible for imprisoning them both. Accompanied by a stranger with a familiar name, Harry finds himself with more questions than answers as he slowly learns about the customs of dragons and the history of the dragon he befriended, the fearsome Voldemort.

I really love pretty much all of Strange_Soulmates’ fics, but this is definitely my favourite (and maybe the only complete one? Don’t quote me on that.) The characters are so well done, and although I love the first fic a little more than the second, they are both excellent reads! Dragons and wizards? Yes, please!

Everything's Fine in the Beast Division by Merrinpippy (Complete)

Harry's lifelong ambition is to become an auror, but as his knowledge of Dangerous Beasts is somewhat lacking, Newt Scamander agrees to take him on as an apprentice. Contrary to the Weasley twins' predictions that Harry would die of boredom, Harry finds his time at the Ministry very interesting, and befriending the very attractive Tom Riddle doesn't hurt at all- in fact, quite the opposite.

This is such a fantastic fanfiction, and a crossover with Fantastic Beasts (a franchise I can’t stand but that’s a conversation for another time). It manages to be fluffy without going OOC which is difficult for tomarry fics, and the supporting cast are adorable!

To Be Set Free by Merrinpippy

Harry Potter, raised and abused by the Dursleys ever since his parents died, lives in the cupboard under the stairs. He has no friends or family who love him and his life is dull until one day a letter arrives arrives for him, written in green ink, that promises freedom. Sounds familiar, right?

King Thomas Riddle's illness combined with his political paranoia pushes him to arrange three royal balls, after which his son, Prince Tom Riddle, must choose a guest to marry, thereby securing the kingdom's future and solidifying their strength in the eyes of their allies/enemies. Tom is convinced that he will be able to defy his father and choose no-one, or at least he is until at the first ball he meets an attractive stranger with dark hair and glasses who won't tell anyone his name...

This is also excellent, and I love a good Fairytale AU. Merrinpippy has some really good stuff. I love all of it!

As Clichéd as Clichés Go by thecrimsonmonarch (One-shot)

Harry Potter wasn't known for his social skills, mainly because they were practically non-existent.

This is a bit random but very fun. Harry is a fucking dork. That’s all there is to say. A thoroughly amusing Lawyer AU.

Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus by The Carnivorous Muffin (WIP)

As the unwitting personification of Death, reality exists to Lily through the veil of a backstage curtain, a transient stage show performed by actors who take their roles only too seriously. But as the Girl-Who-Lived, Lily's role to play is the most important of all, and come hell or high water play it she will, regardless of how awful Wizard Lenin seems to think she is at her job.

This is a still-uploading fanfic and one of my faves. It’s not for everyone- it’s a fem!Harry and she’s so different that she’s really an OC to be honest, and the story is slightly complicated. This is certainly not a fic to go for if you want IC characters. But I really love the writing and the ideas and it’s basically a new, fascinating universe. And even if they’re not IC, I love the characters all dearly. The Carnivorous Muffin is certainly an extremely talented writer- all of her stuff is excellent.

Little Bits by lordmarvoloriddle

Inspired by Cinderella. Only there's no prince and surely no one is singing about their feelings and Harry's life could be a lot worse than having three step-brothers and a father who didn't liked him. He's going to be proven right.

This is such a bloody creepy fic and so so good. The ending is a complete twist and you should definitely read it!

Drarry

Draw a Line from Your Heart to Mine by CreateImagineWrite (Complete)

Being Harry Potter's best friend isn't always fame and beating off raving fans. It's also the anxiety of hearing your best mate's been cursed by another Dark Lord, or love potioned by some crazy woman. Or having his boyfriend you knew nothing about turn up on the Burrow's doorstep.

This is a bit of a random inclusion, but I was just reading this and it is SO GOOD. Perhaps a bit cliched in places, but Ron Weasley’s inner monologue makes up for it.

Turn by Saras_Girl

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

This is an also an excellent fic that I read bloody ages ago and has apparently stuck with me. There’s this whole Harry going into an alternate dimension where he’s married to Draco Malfoy plot, but the really beautiful thing is Harry exploring his dissatisfaction with his life- through carpentry! I know it sounds like a crack fic, but it’s not- it’s a gorgeously written fic.

Away Childish Things by lettered

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

This does the ‘Harry was abused’ revelation so well and really interestingly explores both Harry and Draco’s childhood. The overarching plot is also excellently done, which can’t always be said for character-focused fics!

Jily

#Jily by Chie (Chierafied) (One-shot)

Twitter seemed awash with the hashtag Jily. Lily blinked at in confusion, until she realised it was one of those silly couple monikers people had bestowed on her and Potter. …Though there was a small dissenting crowd following a tweet from Potter’s bandmate Sirius Black: Jily? Hah! More like LAMES.

This is such a fucking cute one-shot. I love social media AUs (if you find any, send them my way), so I loved this!

The Rise and Fall of the Extraordinary Jilysanschilly: Including Excerpts of their Best Collected Works by elanev91 (One-shot)

James Potter and Lily Evans are both wildly successful YouTubers and Sirius cannot believe that people ship them enough to write erotic fanfiction about them. 

You might be picking up on my love of modern Jily AUs. This is so cute, Sirius is weirdly IC as he gets caught up in a smut addiction and James and Lily don’t hate each other from the beginning so that’s fun. A very sweet YouTuber AU.

Hit the Like Button by elixirsoflife (One-shot)

YouTube star James Potter is living it up at uni: filming videos, getting drunk and professing his love for aspiring singer Lily Evans to anyone who'll listen.

It’s another modern AU, but this time, Lily is a famous singer! This was fucking adorable, enough said.

The White Album by cgner (Complete)

James poses as an advice charm in Lily's diary. He's really got to start thinking through his shenanigans.

This is the strangest mix of angst and fluff that I’ve ever read, but it really, really works. It’s also kind of a crossover, as it’s written by the co-author of:

Haggis from Algernon by Rude Gus (Complete)

The fic about nothing.

Everything written by both Rude Gus and cgner is brilliant (not a surprise as they’re almost the same person), but Haggis really is a classic. And check out their Bachelor AU fic! It’s surprisingly brilliant.

Gen and Misc

Kid by Anonymous (Completed)

A Potion's "accident" turns Harry into an eight year old. Draco Malfoy begins planning his kidnapping/conversion to the Dark Side. But Harry's a passive-aggressive, revenge-obsessed little bastard. Maybe Draco will wait on that whole Dark Lord thing… 

Such a cute fic! A really nice character study of Draco and cute kid Harry is always a bonus. I’m not usually a Draco Malfoy fan, but this is a great fic.

Harveste by kyaru-chan (Complete fics but WIP series - probs abandoned)

He's done it. He's just five years old, but he's finally done it. The Dursleys are gone. And now he's with a new family who seems just as twisted as he is. How strange.

This is a really weird fic series. It’s actually an Addams family AU? Harry kills the Dursleys and gets adopted by the Addams family, and then there’s a separate fic for each HP book up to Half-Blood Prince, where I think they stopped. It definitely still worth a read though. Harry is certainly not IC but it’s a fascinating combination of the two universes with all the quirky Addams family humour. It’s certainly a bit of a crack fic to read when you’re down.

Sarcasm and Slytherin by sunmoonandstars (Complete stories but WIP series)

After ten years of misery with the Dursleys, Harry Potter learns that he has magic. Except, in this story, it's not a surprise-the only surprise is that there are others like him. Including his twin brother, Julian Potter, the savior of the Wizarding world.

This isn't the Harry you think you know.

This is WBWL kind of story (although we don’t know if Harry actually is the BWL yet. Harry is a really interesting character and his relationship with his family- especially Jules - is very well developed and nuanced. Harry’s friendships and the authors interpretation of Slytherin house is also a new twist on old tropes- it feels very fresh! I’m eagerly waiting for updates!

So there it is. Just some of my HP faves. I’m considering doing one for Hannibal, Yuri on Ice, The Hobbit, Labyrinth (my tastes are so weird) etc, so let me know if you’re interested!

[ravensroundofrobins]

Since most of y'all Don't seem to Know her.... Let’s DO THIS BRIEF HISTORY OF ROBIN!STEPH BUCKLE TF UP BITCHES

(Note: For the most part, Steph’s time as Robin is included in the War Games TPB, especially because it serves as a catalyst for said event. Highly recommended the read, but mind, like, everything about it) ((also also tumblr only allows 10 pics, so I'm cherry picking my fav panels/most important ones. + offering a bit of meta. take this with a grain of salt and Please read War Games and draw your own conclusions blah blah))

So to start with, a little Context to Steph’s Start as Robin:

Tim’s dad found out about his Robining & made him hang up the cape+mask. As any Concerned and Reasonable parent would. Steph is still operating as Spoiler at the time, despite many attempts by many members of the batfam (but especially Batman) to dissuade her from crime-fighting.

Due to a gross misunderstanding (as these things tend go in comics *sigh*) Steph, who is dating Tim at the time, sees a girl who was interested in him make a move & thinks that Tim is cheating on her. She channels this grief/mourning/anger into making her own homemade Robin costume and convinces Batman to take her under his wing (he sets the conditions that she must follow every order, with a ‘one strike, you’re out’ kind of policy). She undergoes an unspecified training period to get in Proper Shape For Crime Fighting and Batman starts taking her on various patrols and investigations.

During this time, she also teams up with Batgirl (Cassandra Cain) on more than one occasion (one of my fav panels below, just bc its so stylized lmao. its Cute)

During this time, in true Robin Tradition, Steph builds up quite the rapport with Batman, providing a lighter/comedic side and being a general breath of fresh air and foil to the Dark Knight. (just LOOK at this banter & Bargaining for the batmobile!!! a TRUE ROBIN)

There’s a couple cases that I won't get too far into (but one i want to briefly mention involves Zsasz and Steph going almost a bit too far when trying to subdue him. its a very clear parallel to Jason & serves as foreshadowing for how War Games will play out i.e., Steph’s fate) 

Now during this time, there’s an assassin/merc who is killing off teens who were suspected to be Robin (Tim Drake), which Batman catches wind of and the Dynamic Duo moves in to put an End to. (look at this smug lil robin, catching the Bad Guy™ off guard. ADORABLE)

Another thing to note now, is how Eager Robin is to jump onto the case and into the fray. and how carefully she toes the line when following/questioning batman’s orders. this is touched on many times often either with her able to juuuuust reason with the caped crusader enough to Bend his own orders or even to change his mind on occasion.

(a thing i want to note here with this panel and with this particular time in Steph’s career as Robin is that the writer had her referring to Batman as ‘Boss’. whether this was intentional or not, it most closely resembles, to me, Carrie Kelley’s mannerisms as Robin. i.e. another Robin that the writers may have been using as inspo/to parallel. Carrie’s time as Robin is also defined by Batman’s grief from losing Jason, and is given a very similar probationary status that Steph is given during her time as Robin. coincidence? maybe. but i think not.)

While they lose track of the villain initially, Steph’s quick thinking to place trackers on her is what saves the mission. at the Moment at least. Batman makes a decision to bring Robin along when tracking their prey, but orders her to stay behind in the batplane & ‘not touch anything’ unless ordered to do so. which is where we get the Defining Moment:

When Steph, against orders, jumps into the fray. its something to be admired, and very Typical Robin Behavior (bc where would they be if they weren't impulsive and, well, KIDS, amirite?) but unfortunately, her decision costs them the chance of apprehending the villain, and Batman stays true to his word...

and she's Fired (g o d I'm not the biggest fan of damion scott’s art but this look BROKE MY HEART. i can practically HEAR those choked back tears and see that quivering lip like... G O D BRUCE NO. GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE. ANYTHING ELSE THAN WHATS GONNA HAPPEN)

here’s where I'm gonna TL;DR War Games for y’all bc.... holy shit its a LOT. and Steph’s involvement really only begins it, and essentially ends it. (literally lmao. she's featured a little throughout but like. its a Crossover Event™ for a reason. everyone gets a little bit of the spotlight, which means a bit of shuffling around ofc) but Anyways

tl;dr - steph takes one of Batman’s contingency plans on her way out of the cave & implements it w/out being aware of a few Key Details. all out War breaks amongst the different gangs of gotham, with Batman & company trying to regain control of the city & maintain order. Black Mask resurfaces, catches and tortures Steph to learn details about the plan and makes his own grab for power (fun fact, for those of you paying attention to the Big Picture: this essentially sets up for his position later on in Under The (Red) Hood when Jason starts wrestling that control away from him) Steph manages to escape, Batman takes her to Dr. Thompkins clinic, and Leslie reveals that her condition is critical. bruce makes it back in time to be by steph’s side for this:

and then she dies ;-;

BUT THIS IS COMICS- so its revealed initially that Leslie withheld treatment to save Steph’s life to Make A Point and try to dissuade Gotham Youth from following Steph’s path. BUT-BUT WAIT THERES MORE BC THIS IS ~*C O M I C S*~ so its ALSO revealed later on that steph DIDNT die. Leslie helped fake her death and blah blah blah, Steph comes back, gets to be spoiler again, then batgirl and the rest as they say is history

anyways. STRAIGHT FROM THE BAT’S MOUTH THANKS. Steph WAS really™ a Robin™ and as much as DC wants to pry that from my gay goblin hands they WONT be able to. and anyways... She Earned It. okay. give this girl the Respect she deserves. 

(now since I'm a Shipping Blog™, ima add some thoughts regarding her parallel to other robins and how Theoretically a relationship with raven might work out)

Again, the biggest parallel that DEFINES War Games and Steph’s time as Robin, is that to Jason Todd. (fun fact/sidenote: they’re both Leos, so like. Another Connection btwn the two lmao) They’re both impulsive and eager to prove themselves, and follow Batman with unwavering faith and loyalty (up to a Certain Breaking Point that is). They’ve got especially cheeky attitude and flair for drama, and hey. Narratively speaking, writers seem to have a penchant for drawing a few connecting lines between them (again, by starting the WG TPB off with Bruce mourning on Jason’s bday & setting a Tone for the overall event. and then again, by having a major character for UtRH be the very same villain that killed our former girl wonder) 

Now with those lines drawn, and with an understanding of how Jason has interacted with Raven in-canon (with mostly cordial interactions and for the most part respectful analysis of each other’s abilities & strengths), & no known connection between Steph & Rae as of yet, we can really only assume a few things:

-like most of the batboys, Raven is very likely to get along with Steph and to respect her abilities given that Steph respects her in turn.

-Steph’s bright, extroverted personality could again work as a good foil/compliment to Raven’s more introverted/muted one.

-theyve got what i like to call the Bad Dad™ connection (with Steph’s being a former Gotham Rogue™, and Raven’s... well.. y'all Know) Steph’s already shown great Morbid Humor regarding this part of her life (shown in her interactions with Cass) and is very willing to bond with others over Sucky Parents

-while stephanie has a canonical Love™ of Waffles, and raven (at least in regards to her Most Popular fanon from the 03 cartoon) has a fanonical love of them as well. Hence, they ARE the Waffle Queens (embrace the ridiculousness, guys. DO IT)

-Since steph is not an Adopted member of Bruce’s family (& again, more often than not they have attempted to dissuade her from vigilantism) and similarly, due to Batmans Dislike of meta-humans/outsiders messing with Affairs in His City, as well as some of his canonical Distrust™ for Raven due to her mysterious background/nature. this could be another minor/potential bonding point between the two

-likely more??? its getting late, and not much else I can think of off the top of my head, but i might add more to this later. 

as a ship StephRae has as much potential as any other, and since there’s not a lot of canon to really go off, fans can really take it.... wherever and i think thats beautiful

[cedarmoons]

I just downloaded Arcana and I know that you enjoy the game. So I was wondering if you could give me your impressions of the characters and any tips you have for the game. (Are the coin choices mandatory I don’t have a lot of money to spend on the game). Thank you very much and I hope you have a wonderful day. P.s. I’m a little new here so nice to meet you my name is Viper.

Sure! Welcome to the fandom, Viper! ❤

General Tips 

The coin options aren’t mandatory, they’re just bonus romance content. The coin options in-game do not have an effect on the game’s ending. However, I would warn you against buying any amount of coins. Nix Hydra’s business practices and prices are greedy at best and swindling at worst. I recommend having the patience to build up your coins and gradually buying route(s) as you go along.

Helping characters achieve their best endings might require telling them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. Achieving the best ending for each route looks different from the others.

In Heart Hunter, don’t unlock each chest as soon as you complete a set. Rather, wait until all or a very large margin of chests are ready to be opened. That way if you don’t have all the postcards you can get 20 coins per round, which can quickly add up over the days.

Also, the “double or nothing” is always on the beat, either 1-3 or 2-4. If you get it wrong the first time, hit on the other beat for the other attempts. There’s a segment in the nighttime HH music that the beat isn’t very clear, so wait until it cycles back to the beginning part of the music.

Never, ever pay 50 coins for one more turn in HH. Instead pay 50 coins to refill all your heart hunter lives. Better value.

It’s cheaper to buy the individual romance choices than the whole book for the books with 3 chapters (i.e., up to Book 12, The Hanged Man). At least it was when I was starting last year in spring 2018 — they may have changed them, so it’s worthwhile to go through the books and do a little math. Don’t spend coins buying books already because if you buy an individual paid choice, that is permanent. By contrast, it’s cheaper to buy the one-chapter books as a whole rather than the individual choices.

Asra

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!

Would die for you and I would die for him

If you’re looking for a sweet romance with a character who already has a connection to MC, Asra is it!

Asra is a great, comforting character, and is very supportive of MC no matter what. If you’re looking for tender and gentle romance that reveals more depth as the story progresses, pick Asra.

Nadia

The best route in the game

People like to characterize her as “hhhnngh sugar mama step on me 🅱️ls” but she is. Way more than that lmao. Isolated and lonely, distrustful, skeptical, I could go on.

The great thing about her route is that you can really see the change that MC has on her. MC might not influence her outlook to the degree that they do Julian, but she’s happier, less lonely, etc, and that’s always rewarding.

Pick her route if you’re most interested in the story — it reveals a lot of crucial lore, and the romance options always have a nice balance of player control (e.g. allowing her to pamper you vs. not, indulging her petplay vs. not, etc.)

Julian

Very popular in the fandom

If ur looking for the horniest route for a PG-13 game, this guy is it! Nadia is discreet in her thirst, but Julian lays it all out on the table from the start.

His writing can be uneven, especially in the later books, but his route has the most variation so your choices count!

Pick him if you’ve always wanted to redeem the Bad Boy (which he is not, despite initial impressions, but a lot of his route focuses on redemption and recovery, so.)

Muriel

The newest route available and thus has the least amount of content so these are first impressions

Touch starved AND touch averse… a goldmine of affection waiting to be unearthed!!

Mountain Man living alone, always fearful of hurting people and being hurt by people, content to be forgotten,,, meeting someone who makes him want to be remembered,,, who treats him gently,,, güd shit

If nothing else play his route for his blush sprite

[elucubrare]

some more of your thoughts on the state of sff? i'm sorry i don't have a more specific prompt than that

it's good, actually

ok, so. SFF is better now than it's ever been. it's taking itself more seriously as a genre, and people and publishers are taking it more seriously as well. I'm not going to say there aren't terrible things published, and honestly, I'm not happy about a lot of prose choices and more, what people think is good prose, and yes, the rise of grimdark mostly makes me roll my eyes, but it's probably a phase we need to go through to get from simple Victorian-influenced faux-medieval romance with villians who show up, twirl their moustaches, and get defeated to complexity. but there's more difference of opinion, style, viewpoint, plot, and setting than ever before, and more authors doing good and interesting things. 

that said, the genre is taking itself a little too seriously. short fiction especially tends to be trying as hard as it can to be literary fiction with a single genre element, not explored in a genre way, and to be Commenting on society.  some of this is because there's so much free fiction, I think – if a major publishing house is going to back something, it's because they think it's either going to make them money or put them in the Conversation, so you get some of the obvious houses publishing, on the one hand, something that hits lots of Wheel of Time buttons and doesn't do much else, or else Deep Examinations of Race, that often, I feel, don't have much else to recommend them. 

and i definitely don't want authors to use old tropes without thinking about them or without giving some freshness to them, but I think there's a lot of focus on surface innovation over quality (I've read some K.V. Johansen [and it does feel unfair to single out a relatively unknown author, but she's the first i could think of] and thought it was fine & there was no way that her supposedly vaguely Tibetan world felt any different from any giving quasi-western european medieval setting) – for a more widely read example, take Kameron Hurley's Mirror Empire, which has a lot of actually really interesting and fresh ideas, but which is often sold/described as "and they have bear cavalry!! isn't that enough to make you run to the bookstore? bear cavalry*!!" and for me at least, bells and whistles like that really aren't. 

ALSO while I'm airing grievances about a genre i do really love, oh my god I'm tired of "found family," especially in the fuzzy way a lot of the twitter sff community in particular seems to want it. I love people who were initially inimical/standoffish/whatever growing to realize that they care about each other. but i tend to want it to maintain some distance rather than going mushy, because I tend to find the initial relationships more interesting, and if you can maintain that distance while showing that they care about each other, that's very cool, but going from dislike/distrust to a demonstratively warm friendship rarely works, especially because it's often accompanied by a speech about the meaning of friendship and the power of Heart. I do feel like a grouch for saying that, but it's really that it feels less interesting, and I want people in books to be happy but I also want them to be interesting to read about. 

Anyway, that's a lot and very unfocused, but I want to reiterate that I love current SFF, I think it has a lot going for it, and I really appreciate that there's enough variety that even if you think the more popular works are boring and overly grimdark, you can find things you do like.