#I’m done doing my business but I’m just sitting on the toilet crying bc I don’t want to go in my room still sniffly 💀

[finex09]

Currently: sobbing and being a mess on the toilet over Laika, the Soviet space dog who was the first animal in space and the first animal to die in space

[dreamescapeswriting]

Cabin In The Woods [M] ~ BC [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4K

GENRE: SMUT, non idol au

PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader

A/N: I had to name the camp this there was no other wayyyyyy Hope you like it!

Camp crystal lake home to some of the most adventurous kids every summer the camp would be home to 200 kids with 16 camp counsellors all in charge of them and you were there every year, along with one of your best friends Bang Chan who was a counsellor as well as a lifeguard that worked on the lakes. The entire camp was huge despite there only being nine cabins that the kids could stay in. Eight of them would house 25 kids within their age ranges since kids from the ages of 13 to 17 came to the camp you had to keep them all in different groups so that group activities were fair to everyone. While the younger kids stuck to swimming, football and other outdoor activities the older kids got to learn and do more. Archery, boating, horse riding, and many more things were all part of your daily activities around the forest. There were two major lakes in the camp, Wilderice lake and Crystal lake the one that the camp was named after and each was just off from the cabins that went on a long stretch of road. Everything was pretty close together the only cabin that was far away from the rest of the camp was Seneca, which was known as the punishment cabin. Mostly because kids who had done terrible things were sent up there, only allowed out to go to the toilet, or meal times other than that they had to sit there bored while everyone else got to do the fun activities. Not completely unsupervised of course, that would be dangerous. A camp counsellor would always go to check on them to make sure they weren't doing anything they would regret or that they weren't in any danger.

"Y/n!" You turned around hearing your name being screamed from the entrance and smiled as you saw one of your favourite kids rushing over to you. A bag around her shoulder as she sprinted into your arms, you span her around a little. 

"Hey Alice," You laughed as the small 15-year-old girl began telling you how much fun she was going to have over the summer with everyone. 

"I invited my best friend along, Brenda!" A brunette turned around when she heard her name being yelled and jolted over to you and Alice. 

"We wanted to see if you and Chan were dating yet," You laughed loudly upon hearing Alice, Chan and you were known among everyone as the flirting pair but it was nothing more than playful banter. 

"You're too young to think of boys that way," You began messing up Alice's hair when she moved away from you, whining and straightening out her hair. 

"I'm not, I'm 15 and I know you and Chan lovvveeeee each other," You glared at her playfully about to tell her she was wrong when Chan came to stand beside you. 

"Ah the trouble maker," He whined out, pretending to be upset that Alice was standing there. She was by far your favourite kid there, always willing to do whatever it took to have fun and even helping out around the camp when she needed to. 

"We were just saying how-" Alice stopped speaking when her mother came over, kissing her on the cheek as she began to cry about leaving her at the campground as she did every year. Not that you blamed them, it must have been a nightmare leaving your kids somewhere for two weeks and having no means of communication.

"I'm new, you must be Chan. I've heard a lot," Brenda said as she began shaking Chan's hand with a giant smile on her face, blushing as she turned to look at you. 

"Good choice," You pushed her and Alice towards the bus that would take them down into the camp and you ignored as Chan asked what that was about.

"Go, you have your first round of kids at the lake in an hour." You whined as he walked up behind you, tickling your sides as he demanded to know. 

"Tell meeee," He whispered in your ear, it felt as though a bolt of lightening ran through your entire body and you whined at him once again. Slapping his hands away from you and shaking your head, 

"Go to work, I'll tell you later." Later meant you had enough time to come up with some sort of lie instead of telling him that Alice and Brenda thought you had a crush on him. Which you did but he didn't need to know that. Things between you were good and you didn't want to ruin that by admitting that you had a crush on him, playful flirting was easier than losing him. 

"Who have you got this year?" Chan asked as he sat down beside you in the archery field. It was pitch black sine it was around midnight, the two of you had been so busy with the first day of camp you'd barely seen one another besides a brief encounter at the lake.

"Ages 13 to 14, what about you?" You questioned as you looked up from the folder you were studying from, every year you liked to try and get to know each of the kids you would be looking after for those two weeks. Getting to know their names, likes and dislikes as well as what they were allergic to and everything else you would need to know. 

"16 to 17," He said with a giant smirk plastered across his face, the camp counsellors that were blessed with the older kids barely had to do a thing around the camp. Take them on the odd walk around the forest or make sure they weren't trying to kill ne another with equipment but that was it. They were practically adults and could look after themselves, of course the counsellors would be around if they needed them. 

"You're going to get stuck with the younger ones one summer, even if I have you force you to myself," You joked as you jabbed him with the end of your pen, leaving a small black mark on his white crystal lake shirt.

"Already in uniform?" You frowned looking down at him as you realised he was wearing the red shorts and white shirt combo that was giving to you every year. 

"I thought I would be the first one...That and I accidentally spilt a drink down my only good pair of jeans." He mumbled as he looked at you, you began laughing softly before laying your head on his shoulder tiredly. 

"It's going to be a great summer," He whispered to you as he nudged your softly, 

"Fire night, bring your scary stories and marshmallows!" Someone screamed making you move apart from Chan and nod your head. 

"I've got the perfect scary story," You smirked. Fire night was the night camp counsellors got together to try and tell the best story as well as sharing food something you did every year when the kids all went to bed on the first night. It was somewhat of a tradition amoungst everyone for old and new counsellors to get to know one another. 

"You probably stole mine from last year," Chan rolled his eyes at you jokingly and you rolled yours back, 

"Oh yes because yours about the child who had diabetes was so scary Christopher, I'm still shaking." You pushed his shoulder and got up from the seat you were sitting on, watching as people began filing over in the direction of the fire grounds. It was a huge campfire with logs around it so that everyone could be warm.

It turned out that your story had nothing on what Chan was telling that year, your story was about a girl who got lost in the woods but Chan's was far more creative. 

"Jason was never seen again after he entered the lake and every year when the counsellors came to the camp to set up they were all murdered!" He clapped his hands together making you jump as he continued to tell the story of a masked serial killer killing off counsellors one by one using different ways that were all nearly impossible yet creative. 

"Then just when the counsellor thought she was safe in the water Jason swam up and dragged her down to the bottom of the lake!" Chan finally finished and you did your best not to act as scared as you were about it. It wasn't as though the story was completely impossible, the thought of someone randomly walking onto the camp was easy and they could just as easily kill everyone if they wanted to. 

"You okay?" Chan questioned when he sat back down beside you on the log, giving you a hot chocolate as you stared into the flames. 

"Y-Yeah, peachy," Your voice cracked and Chan knew that you weren't okay, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

"I'll keep you safe," He whispered as you snuggled closer to him just enjoying the feeling of being that close to him.

"I'm heading up to my cabin, walk me?" You questioned as you noticed how late it was getting, you weren't scared of the woods but walking around in the dark wasn't something you opted to do alone most nights especially after the story that had just been shared by Chan.

"Sure," He chuckled softly as he began walking down the field with you heading in the direction of your cabins, all 25 kids seemed to be sleeping so your night was going to be easy. 

"Are you scared?" Chan nudged as you clutched onto his hand tightly as you stood outside the cabin debating going in or staying with him a little while longer. The sparks you were getting from his hand begged you to stay and feel them longer but you knew you had a long day tomorrow and couldn't. 

"N-No," You lied obviously as he smirked at you, hugging you tightly. 

"I'll be right next door, if Jason comes for you I'll save you," You pushed him away before going over to the door and opening it up.

"Night," You whispered to him before heading into the room, Chan stayed outside for a moment just waiting for you to come back out but you never did. He hoped you would come back out and beg to stay with him for the night because you were so scared but you never did.

"Night," He whispered to himself before walking in the direction of his cabin for the night which was right next door to yours. 

The next day was ruined by the thunderstorm that seemingly appeared out of no where. No outdoor actitivties could be done since it was unsafe for everyone to be in the water and no one wanted to get sick out in the cold. 

"Does anyone know where all the board games are?" You questioned as you sat in the dinning hall, 200 kids all staring up at you with unimpressed looks on their faces. You didn't blame them, this was supposed to be one of the best summers of their lives and yet here they were spending it trapped inside where it was raining so hard you thought it was night time.

"Punishment Cabin, we kept them up there last year for Tommy and Ned since they were in there so much." One of the counsellors mentioned as she looked at you, none of you could figure out how to get the kids to calm down so if this was the only way then so be it. Board games and indoor games it would be. 

"Christopher. We're going for a walk," You ordered as you grabbed him by the back of his jacket, pulling him towards the door as you stared out at the rain. It was coming down so hard that it looked as though it was a tap gushing out water, 

"Why? Why can't you go alone? I'm so dry in here," He whined looking at you but all you did was give him your large puppy dog eyes and he melted, giving into you right away and grabbing his umbrella. 

"Let's go." He grumbled as he began heading out into the rain, the two of you sprinting off in the direction of the cabin which was secluded from everything else around the camp. 

"Punishment Cabin," You mumbled as you looked up at the cabin, the roof was leaking a little and the door was wide open thanks to the wind. 

"Let's get the games and leave," You told him as you headed inside finding everything practically ruined that had been on the floor. It was all soaked in water and the roof was leaking inside and on the beds dripping onto the mattresses. 

"Oh shit," He whispered as he looked around noticing everything, a clap of thunder sounded and you jumped back knocking into him as the door slammed shut behind you both jamming in place. 

"What the fuck?" You asked as you twisted the handle trying to open it but it was locked in place, not even budging a little no matter how hard you tried to pull on it. 

"Here, let the man do it." You scoffed stepping away from the door and watching in amusement as Chan continued trying to do the same thing you had been but with little success, 

"Let the man do it," You mocked playfully before sitting down on one of the dry chest of drawers. 

"You're just going to sit there?" You shrugged your shoulders since there wasn't much else you could do, the windows were bolted shut from the outside and it wasn't as if you could just smash them open. 

"Look, they know we're up here. They'll come looking when we don't come straight down." You reassured him as you shivered a little, it wasn't exactly the warmest in the punishment cabin but you would only be there for an hour at the most. 

An hour turned into three and you were sitting in front of the fireplace together trying to stay warm. No one had bothered to come to look for you but not because they didn't want to but that they had planned for this. As soon as the counsellors saw that it was going to rain all day they set their plan into action deciding to take matters into their own hands. They were going to arrange for you both to go up to the cabin and have someone follow behind you, locking you inside and only letting you out when they knew that you had finally confessed your feelings for one another. It was juvenile but they didn't care, every year it was the same. Endless flirting together, the costant hints that you btoh had a crush on one another and they were finally going to make sure you ended up together in ways that were more than just friends. 

"I'm cold," You shivered as Chan started up the fire place that was in the cabin, he'd found old scraps of paper and some matches in the drawers you'd been sitting on and started it up. The thought of you getting sick made him feel bad as he looked over at you,

"Here," He whispered as he began laying down dry blankets and pillows in front of the fire. 

"We'll warm up together," He promised as you sat down on the floor beside him, his arm wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer to him. Maybe it was the cold or the fact that you were snuggled together in such a romantic setting but you couldn't help but stare up at him in awe. 

"Thanks," You stuttered out as he kept you close to him, your body felt as though it was going to surrender to him. Sitting so close, hearing his heartbeating and the way his fingers traced small patterns on your skin was doing all sorts of things to you. A wetness dripped betwee your tighs as you squeezed them together trying to ignore the sensation and focus on getting warm but it was hard with him right there. 

"You know what might warm us up faster," You finally broke the silence as you glanced up at him, the two of you had been sitting in front of the fireplace for ten minutes. 

"What?" His voice was smooth as he looked down at you, eyes seeming to sparkle in the light of the fire, one thing came over you and you kissed him. Smashing your lips against him and rolling him back against the floor. At first he didn't do anything, he held onto you until he realised what was happening and gave into the feeling of having your lips on his own. 

"F-Fuck," He stuttered out as you pulled away to look at him, his lips were pink from the kissing and you could feel your body heating up from the embarrassment of randomly kissing your best friend. 

"I-I'm sorry...I don't know...I just wanted...I've wanted to do that for so long," As soon as the words left your mouth Chan kissed you once again pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed you softly. 

Your hips began to move out of habit and you felt him harder beneath you which meant he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

"N-No one is around," You whispered breathlessly as you began to kiss down his jawline and down his neck. Whimpering at the thought of finally lettin him take you the way you had always dreamed, 

"We would warm up faster," He smirked as he ran his hands down your hips pushing at the red short shorts you were wearing. Your whole body tensed as you realised it was finally, really going to happen. 

"Do you want to?" You nodded at his question and he kissed you again, making out with yo as you both slowly removed one another's clothes piece by piece. 

Laying down completely naked in front of him should have made you nervous but with Chan you weren't at all, he looked at you as if he admired every inch of your skin. Taking a good look as he licked his lips, kissing your lips softly, 

"You're so beautiful," He whispered as he ran his fingers down your stomach until he was at your clit, slowly rubbing your wet bud in circles as you let out a whimper. 

"So wet, how long have you wanted me?" He smirked as he pushed a finger through your folds, your toes dg into the floor as you mewled out, 

"Tell me," He whispered again as he pushed two of his long fingers into you, curling them up to hit your g-spot again and again making your head spin. 

"A while!" You stuttered out as you began squirming underneath him as you moaned out his name. 

"Me too,2 He whispered as he began kissing you deeply, thrusting his fingers deep into your soaking core. Wet noises filled the cabin as Cha continued to take you with his fingers. 

"C-Chan," You breathed out as you gripped onto the blankets that were surrounding you, you felt intensity building up inside of you.

"I-I'm gonna-" You couldn't cum before he took his fingers out of your abruptyly and smirked as he began kissing you possessively, your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him close to you. 

"So needy," He chuckled as you let out a hiss when his cock ran through your folds, 

"Shut up and fuck me, we've waited too long." You begged as your breath as heavy, he smirked shaking his head and kissing down your body. 

"I want to taste first," He whispered as he kissed towards your core, he lingered above your cunt and looked up at you to check that it was okay. Once you gave him a nod he dove his tongue between your lips and began flicking your cunt with his tongue. 

"Oh shit!" You screamed out as your hands worked their wayy into his hair, pulling him closer as he continued to eat you out, biting down softly on the part of your outer labia making your eyes roll back. 

"J-Just like that," You cried out as you felt your orgasm building again, he hummed against your cunt and you shuddered over and over again as he continued to eat you out like you were his last meal. 

"C-Cumming," Your voice cracked as the pleasure exploded in you without warning, your head threw back against the pillows and you filled the cabin with your desperate moans of his name. 

He kissed you sweetly as he lined his cock up with your opening, teasing you with the tip as he smirked against your lips. 

"No teasing," You whined out, too desperate for any games that he was planning in his head. 

"As you wish," He pushed his hips forward slowly, sinking into you. You moaned out squeezing your eyes tightly at the stretching, he stayed still for a moment wanting you to feel comfortable before he even tried to move inside of you, 

“Y-You can move," You whimpered as you opened your eyes, his cock felt incredible inside of you, you felt full as you gripped around him as if he had always belonged there. 

"Shit you're so tight," He whined out as he grunted, slowly pulling out of you only to thrust back in as he let out a small moan. 

"Mmm Chan, please," You begged, digging your heels into his ass wanting him to move faster than he was and he smirked, 

"Chan please," He mocked playfully before he began to move his ips faster, fucking into you as you let out moans of pleasure he was sure people would have heard even from the dinning hall. 

"Just like that!" You screamed out as he began thrusting harder into you making you squeal out as he rammed in and out of you. Cock hitting so deep you thought if he came it would be deep in your gut. 

He continued to fuck into you hard, changing between slow and passionate thrusts to hard and fast ones as he stared down into your eyes. 

"Holy shit," You cried out as you felt yourself tighrening around him, the build up becoming too much as you began to cry out his name, pleasure reeling inside of you. 

"You close?" He questioned as he felt you tightening more and more with each thrust of his cock. 

"Cum for me," He whispered as he bent down into your ear, biting down as you wrapped your legs around his waist drawing him closer if that were even possible until you finally came undone around him. Grunting out he pulled out of you, cumming onto your stomach as you giggled up at him. 

"Shit," He panted watching in awe as you ran your fingers through the liquid and licked your fingers clean. 

"Y-You're going to be the death of me," He panted ashe laid down beside you and took a deep breath.

"We should move babe," He whispered an hour or two later after you had been laying there, the sun was out and someone was bound to come looking for you now that you had been gone for so long. 

"Here-" He handed you the shirt he had been wearing and then your shorts before he slipped on his coat since he had used your top to clean up your stomach. 

"Babe?" You looked at him with a smirk on your lips,

"You don't think I'm going to just have sex with you and leave it be, do you? I'm in love with you." He whispered as he kissed your lips again, the door opening just as you kissed each other. 

"They finally kissed," Someone announced out of the door, if only they knew the two of you had done a lot more than kissing in that cabin that day.

Tagline: @taestannie @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @minholuvs @anxiousbobatea @justbangtanthingz​

[amimimi]

joe and cherry taking care of their drunk s/o

synopsis: in which joe and cherry take care of your drunk ass

pairings: joe x reader, cherry x reader

warnings: drinking, getting sick, suggestive themes, swearing, slight spoilers in joe’s part

notes: i separated the joe and cherry head canons from the langa and reki ones because I thought I was gonna make these a lot more suggestive,,,but i did not 🤥 i apologize in advance for any grammatical/spelling errors!

JOE

will laugh at you

in a good natured way, of course

he just thinks you’re so cute, he can’t get enough of you

joe and you go bar hopping for date night this week, which y’all have done in the past so it’s nothing too crazy

except this time around, you overdo it 😗

and joe thinks it’s the most endearing thing as you cling onto his biceps as you sway on your feet

he holds you by your elbows, grinning down at you as you blearily smile up at him

you both are standing near the dance floor, as you struggle to maintain your footing

“you good?” he calls over the music and you nod slowly, grinning even harder

“yea! you’re a great dancer!” you shout back at him and joe chuckles

“we aren’t dancing, baby cakes” he says, giving your elbows a squeeze

you frown

“oh...i knew that! i meant in general...” you murmur, eyes struggling to stay open.

joe purses his lip at you, before wrapping his arms around your waist. “i think you need some air, babe” he suggests and you nod sluggishly

guides you outside the bar and takes you across the street

the crisp night air doesn’t help you out all that much

you get sick and joe can’t even hold your hair back because he has to hold you to keep you from falling face forward

“okay, babe, let’s get you home” joe chuckles,

not even one bit worried

has a lot of experience with drinking/drunk people up his sleeve

honestly maybe the best person to care for you while you’re drunk

joe doesn’t panic or even if he IS concerned, he’s good at keeping a straight face (i’m thinking of the episode when ad*m hits cherry in the face and he’s the only one who doesn’t flinch)

he takes you in his swole arms (that man is built like an ox 😩) and carries you bridal style all the way home

entertains your babbling and carries a conversation with you no matter how nonsensical it is

if you think you see someone even looking at joe, you try cussing them out msnxjshwdghd

and joe’s like “haha, darling, my sweet dove, ☺️” and then turns to whoever you’re cussing out and says “they’re drunk, sorry about that!”

joe definitely takes you to his place

makes you take a shower! but he showers with you because he doesn’t want you to fall and break your nose or something

stands behind you, with his arms wrapped around you for support

rubs a loofah down your arms and torso

every now and then he’ll press a kiss against the side of your neck <3

joe wraps you in a towel and gently dries you with another towel

he makes you sit on his closed toilet seat and kneels before you to dry your legs with a smaller towel

he glances up at you to see you staring at him, slightly swaying and wrapped in a towel

“you like watching me work, don’t you?” he smirks

“i like watching your back” you reply, the alcohol numbing your shame and joe laughs at you

makes you brush your teeth

he places a hand over your forehead and holds you up by your arm as you brush

joe: “are you...are you swallowing the tooth paste??”

you: “...no...not on purpose”

okay, joe maybe slightly concerned

pulls one of his shirts over your head and laughs when your hair gets messed up

when you finally get in bed, you sleep in between joe’s legs with your head resting on his naked chest, arms wrapped around you

doesn’t mind if you drool on him <3 he just fondly smiles at you

CHERRY

HE IS NOT HERE FOR IT SKDUSKSJDJD

does not like being around drunk people—like he avoids it with a passion

someone he knows could be drunk as helll and he’d just be like “...and what the f*ck does that gotta do with me?”

obviously he won’t let anyone DIE, but prefers to take preventative action such as cutting someone off from having any more drinks than to deal with their drunk asses

and obviously, he’ll make an exception for you 😙

he’s not impressed tho 😗

like if your tipsy, he may find that endearing

but if you’re like—DRUNK DRUNK, like belligerently so...he’s gonna be like “*sigh*”

you probably don’t get drunk in public when you’re out with him to preserve his the respect of his business

so he’s probably having a night in, no S, no dinner with joe

he’s catching up on reading when his doorbell rings and he’s like “??”

cherry goes to peek out the peephole and — holy shit is that you? and who’s standing next to you??

he opens the door to see you, drunk off your ass, and barely standing on your own as you friend wraps their arm around you for support

when you see cherry, you perk up and smile “kaoru!”

“does this belong to you?” your friend grins at cherry, who’s just staring at you wobble on your feet like a newborn deer

“yes” he says slowly, a little surprised at how drunk you are

he reaches out for you and you all but collapse in his arm, cherry slightly straining under the weight

“okay, then! my taxi’s waiting, bye babe!” your friend calls to you and you sluggishly wave at them while hanging off of cherry’s waist

cherry makes sure you friend gets in the taxi safely before turning to you

“what have you gotten yourself into?” he sighs, hoisting you up and carrying you into his house

“just had a few drinks!” you chirp, wrapping your arms around cherry’s neck

“a few...” cherry echoes you flatly

“ maybe a couple!”

“...”

“ okay, maybe a lot”

doesn’t even wait for you tell him if you feel nauseous, he just carries you to the bathroom and sits you down in front of the toilet

ties your hair back as you babble nonsensically about how dangerous it is that he rides a skateboard

if you get sick, he gently rubs your back and murmurs soothingly to you

makes you wash your mouth out and brushes your teeth for you (he’s grumbling as he does it, BUT HE’S STILL DOIN IT)

he’s gonna save the lecturing for tomorrow so he just resorts to muttering under his breath, but he’s still very gentle with you

he bathes you! but then you tell him that he looks like your mother as he does it and he’s just like “😐 okay bath time over”

get’s you a silk robe and guides you into his bed

he runs to get you a class of water and when he comes back, he hears you sniffling as you lay with your back to him

“what’s the matter, love?” he asks gently, sitting down the bed next to you

he brushes your hair back to see you are, in fact, crying

you take a shaky breath as you struggle to sit up and look directly at him

“are you cheating on me with carla??” you ask wobbly, stealing yourself for his answer

cherry: “😐😑😐”

he just hands the glass of water to you and doesn’t say anything bc he’s TIRED

when you finish your glass, he places it on his bedside table as you sink into the sheets

“you didn’t answer” you murmur glumly, staring straight ahead

cherry looks down at you and tilts his head, brushing your hair back from your face, kinda smiling for that first time that night

“no. how would cheat on you with a skateboard?” cherry asks, slightly teasing.

“you literally make heart eyes with it...don’t laugh!” your lower lip begins to wobble as cherry slightly chuckles

“you’re so drunk” he smiles at you softly

you weakly nod in agreement as cherry continues brushing your hair back

“yea, ‘won’t do it again tho...thank you kaoru, i love you” you garble out, sleep overtaking you

cherry waits until you fall asleep to give you a kiss on the forehead,

he stays up a to watch you before he slides in next to you and sleeps facing you with your hand in his

notes: i’m gonna do langa, reki, joe, and cherry all in one post for the sequel (?) to this where reader takes care of them when they get drunk!

[redevenir]

faintheart in the dark

hoshi x reader

wc : ~ 1800

a/n : @tearsofsyrup let’s just say it’s for you dear, since your tiger agenda blog inspired me. i wish you the best as usual, and hopefully this will feel like a little treat after a good day! not at all a horror au bc that dumb fucker doesn’t know what fear is anyway. Very self indulgent. Also I didn’t proofread so sorry for the faults! 

The bus ride is quiet, a nice relief after Soonyoung’s busy day. Still, it’s not as satisfying as it would be to go home, cook up something quick and warm, drown himself under the shower and crash into his bed. He wonders when he became like that. Working for school after working for a minimum wage, and feeling like this is it. The bus stops pass one after the other until he finally reaches the humanities’ campus. Despite his fatigue and his hunger, he wastes no time in going to the cafeteria – it’s almost closing hour and he knows how annoying last minute customers are – and makes his way directly toward the library. He mindlessly watches the humanities’ building as he passes by. He notices the glass door of the library, goes in, allows himself a brief nod of the head to whoever is at the front desk – maybe a new one ? And they still haven’t fixed that broken ceiling light. He heads to the history of art section, he takes his things out of his bag and sets them up on a table, his pencil case, his notebook, takes out an imposing History of rural theater from the shelves and resumes to work. The pipes are unusually squeaky, but he manages to focus on his task, takes notes for his paper. There is a charm to his subject, he thinks. It is a nice change, to be able to talk about less conventional art, a more popular one. It reminds him of home. He allows himself a quick look over the rest of the tables. A usual, empty Tuesday night. The light flashes in irregular patterns. There are enough others so it’s far from dark, but it is annoying enough to distract Soonyoung from reading. Sighing, he scans the hall again, as a treat. Far away, in the medieval History section, he notices your bag and his lips twitch upward. It’s true you chose that Colors from the Middle-age class, but it’s so unexpected he keeps forgetting about it. Jun sometimes reminds him when he talks about whatever assignments the professor gives you. It’s still weird to think that you and Junhui see each other every week, regardless of Soonyoung, whereas he would go out of his way to go the same parties as you, to get a chance to see you. He closes his eyes, just for a bit. Once he’ll be done, he’ll come over and say hello. As a treat.

When Soonyoung wakes up, he is in the dark. He narrows his eyes in hopes of seeing through, and notices the flickering light by the entrance. Pressing his lips together, he rubs his fingers on his temples. There is no point in staying any longer. He doesn’t bother to look at the time on his phone, puts everything back in his back, leaves the history of theater on the table, and, before leaving, tries to remember where the bathrooms are. Following his foggy intuition, he slaloms among the tables, bumping a few chairs on the way. There is something unsettling about being there after hours. Libraries are supposed to be quiet places for sure, but the dark silence in which he is really far from his habit. He licks his lips, tries to be careful, and with a yawn he reaches the corridor. The soft green light of the emergency exit illuminates it. Here is his way out.

Dum. Dum. Dum. The sound of your heart is deafening. Your bronchi burn, yet you try to control the rhythm of your breathing, the sound of it, even though the alarm ringing in your head shrieks there is no time for this. From what are you even hiding yourself? Sweat runs cold down your spine, you smell it. You want to go home. You want to get out. You want to slap Soonyoung and you want him to pay for a fucking well-deserved brunch. No, you want him to ask you out on a brunch. In an attempt to get a hold of yourself you hide your face in your clammy hands, close to your nose to mute the sound of your fear. Nothing is heard but your restrained breath. One, inhale, one two three four five, six, exhale. You try to change the focus of your mind. You close the toilet seat and sit on it, swallowing saliva. You press your finger on your temple, all trace of sleepiness long forgotten.

Sometimes, Seungcheol says you’re dumb. It’s true. You are. You think back to where you left your belongings, earlier, and that essay on red pigments. Hopefully no one will steal it.

You were already in the last bus when he had called you, voice loud and way too urgent for your state of mind. Asking where you were, and if you had seen Soonyoung or not. You knew very well who Soonyoung was. Jun’s roommate, a theater kid. Phases out a lot, cute. Even though you’re both humanities’ students, you barely see him on campus – you assume it has to do with your respective part time jobs taking up most of the free time you have. But you meet at parties. It feels like whenever you go out, he’s always there, and you usually spend most of the night with him, talking until you stop feeling your head and catch yourself staring at him. That’s when you go home. Dizzy, happy, horny. The feelings linger a few days, until obligations push them out at the back of your brain again. Yet, every now and then, when you are free enough, you remember how vibrant it is to be with him and your skin becomes a boiling veil and your head is full of colors.

So when Seungcheol asked you if you had seen Soonyoung, you told him you had, he was working at the library tonight too. And when he asked when he left you told him you didn’t know – your bus line ends before the library closes, and he was asleep on his table when you left. You heard Junhui’s Oh my god in the back and began to chew on the inside of your lip. And sure enough, they had asked you to come back for him, just in case. And when you had arrived back at the library, all lights off and dark, you had known it was not going to go well. From breaking a window to get back in to the rush of adrenaline induced by the flashlights of the security agents you’d noticed outside, you felt your evening spiraling in a very wrong, irrational way. You didn’t know the library as well as you thought, lost your way of few times, until exhaustion, the fear of getting caught and and increasing worry about Soonyoung’s whereabouts had you disheveled and hiding in the bathroom for a lonely brainstorming session.

Until you hear the flush. The sound of falling water crushing your train of thoughts – you hadn’t even noticed someone came in. Noticing your little cry of surprised, a very tired voice asks who is there, and you give up. Trying to make up a story that wouldn’t make you look like a lunatic, you stand up and push the door open with your feet, wondering how high would the fine be for breaking into the library – and mostly breaking that window.

Only to face Soonyoung, eyes wide, drying his hands with toilet paper. Your mouth agape, you let out a sigh. Your heart skips a beat, maybe because of him, maybe because you’re dead. You feel the embarrassment soaking in. He watches as you close your eyes, lower your head, biting your lips with a little, uneasy smile. You twist your finger until your knuckles are white, licking your lips one last time before clearing your throat.

« Sorry, hum, sorry about… That, I guess. You don’t look at him. Apparently Jun got worried about you and they asked me to check if you were okay… So I-I hum, I, hum, I came back and got scared wandering in the building… Hum. »

You hear your name in a whisper. Two warm hands cup your face, their heat on your frozen ears. They pull you a bit until you gently bump against his chest. Soonyoung whispers your name again. You feel his warmth, and you smell the sweat of his day at work. The soft fabric of his sweater hugs your cheek and you restrain yourself from leaning in more.

« I’m alright, fell asleep, that’s all. His left thumb gently strokes your cheek. Don’t you work morning shifts ? » You shoot him a surprised look from his shoulder, long enough for him to meet your gaze.

« I do. Why do you ask? » He feels your uneven breathe on his lips, it’s warm and shaky. He should kiss you now, but there are fireworks in his head, still in awe at your apparition. His hand goes to your hips, hugging you for good. He then softly takes your hand.

« Let’s go home. You can crash at my place, he tugs at your hand and you hum in agreement. Quick, he makes sure you’re not looking at him as you both head out the bathroom. I’ll call for you tomorrow. To tell them you’re sick. » He avoids your eyes before you can meet his. You should ask him more. You should refuse. Both of his offers. You watch him as he opens the fire escape door – of course – and you watch his hand holding yours. You say nothing and you walk closer to him until you arrive to the bus stop. Sure enough, your bag’s still there, on the floor, where you’ve thrown it the same way you’ve thrown your hours of sleep away. You ponder and you ponder, and Soonyoung looks at you an your face doesn’t look too bad so he doesn’t push you.

« Okay then, let’s do that. I’ll sleep at your place, and before my shift you call them saying I’m sick or dead, as you please. » He smiles and it’s like dawn already.

« Don’t you want to go back ? After, I mean ? I mean, to keep working there ? »

« I’ll do it Jesus style then. » He laughs and you finally look at him again. Even now, as you sit on the bench and he stands right in front of you, he still has your hand in his. He shifts his balance, holding your gaze, and how many times did he get the occasion to kiss you ? Proper occasions, not intoxicated ones. His free hand reaches to cup your face once more, the tips of his fingers caressing greasy strands of your hair.

He really should kiss you now.

[apenapaperandadoofus]

19 (habits) with saeran and its hurt/comfort? 👀

Yusssss I love those

Habits (Saeran hurt/comfort) also a bit smutt bc I needed it I'm sorry I felt so bad and I needed to spoil muh baby

TW: mentions of abuse and self harm (not explicitly and it isn't the extreme kind though!)

You had been living with Saeran for a whole month now, and you couldn't be happier. You had managed to get the twins reunited again, and you solved the whole issue with the cult and RFA. Saeran was finally free.

Still, even though there were good times, there were bad times too. Saeran had spent most of his life in an abusive home, and afterwards was held in a place that did even more damage this mental health, and even if everything was solved, it still took time for him to be able to control his temper or ignore the sudden mood swings that would come.

Even if he managed to merge his two personalities together, sometimes Saeran came out, and sometimes it was Ray. It mostly depended on the situation.

Saeran wasn't one to easily get angry though, and he was really good at controlling his temper. Yet, sometimes he couldn't help but feel this anger inside, this hatred. And then he would scold himself for feeling that way, and he'd be back in the habit of calling himself so many awful things. Not only that, but sometimes he'd punch a wall, or tear at his hair, or just grip his arm so hard he'd end up bleeding.

But he was working on it.

One morning you had woken up to Saeran happily cooking you breakfast, and you smiled and gave him a kiss on the lips, making him blush.

Still, Saeran looked at you with a surprised expression when he saw you didn't go and sit beside him.

"Y/N?" He asked.

"Sorry Saeran, but I told you yesterday that I had something to do in the morning and so I couldn't eat with you. Still thank you for the food, could you please put it in the microwave so I can heat it up later?" You said.

Saeran frowned though. "I don't remember you telling me anything about that, I thought we were going to spend the day together."

"I know, but they suddenly called in at work, there's this new guy who keeps making mistakes and he really fucked up this time. But I'll be home as soon as possible!" You said as you made yourself a cup of coffee. Saeran sat quietly for a few minutes and then looked up at you.

"Well can't you leave it to Jihae and Emma? You've been working every single day ever since we moved in. Can't you work at home?"

You sighed. "Saeran, we've talked about this. I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to fulfill my promise today, but I swear I'll make it up to you!"

"That's what you said last time...." Saeran mumbled, and you stopped in your tracks.

"This time I promise I'll do it-"

"Well this is the fifth time you've said that. Listen Y/N, I don't exactly know if there's anything going on with the house, or with me or us, but you've been gone the whole time."

"Yes working! It's not like I'm super hyped up about it either, stop talking as if I'm doing this on purpose or something! I'm just trying to provide for us."

"Yeah but before it wasn't like this." He stood up and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Whatever, fine. Go to work."

"Why are you suddenly so irritated that I'm going to work?"

"It's not that, it's just that spending time with you is really important to me and I feel like..."

"Like what Saeran?" You glared.

He looked at the ground. "Nevermind, I don't want to fight."

"No, no please finish the sentence. Like what?"

He stood quiet for a bit and then said, looking at you. "Like you don't really care anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"Every single day it's work, work, work, and everytime I want to just spend a few hours with you you always seem to have something come up. It wasn't like this before."

"Saeran I just got promoted, I have to show that I was worth it. I can't just put everything on hold because you feel lonely!"

"Wow, thank you, I love hearing that the love of my life actually cares about work more than me." He said sarcastically, and your eyes widened.

"Oh, I'm sorry for wanting to PROVIDE for us, Saeran, I'm just trying to help! Seriously I can't stay by your side every single hour of the day, you're not a child! And work is important!"

"Well then if work is so important then why don't you just go and start a relationship with it. You seem to be in love with it. In fact, why don't you just go and never come back!"

Now the both of you were yelling, and you felt so...so mad. You had never seen Saeran this angry before and that only made it worse.

"Maybe I will! You'd like thaytright!? For me to just leave and not turn around!"

"Yes, in fact, you're right! I don't need to be around you the whole time, I can take care of myself, in fact, I don't even need you anymore, so just leave! Maybe then I'll be truly happy for once!"

You stiffened. "You aren't happy here?"

Saeran crossed his arms and gave you that familiar cold glare you had seen in Mint Eye all those months ago.

"No. Why would I be happy with an idiot like you? All you've been doing is ingnoring me and trying to avoid me."

"Saeran I....ugh, you're just- you're impossible sometimes!!! Just because I'm busy doesn't mean I don't care! And I hate that, I hate that every time I look the other way for a bit you get sad and mad, it's so tiring, you're tiring, so don't blame me for wanting to go and spend some time by myself for once!!"

Saeran flinched, but you were too mad to stop. "Why can't you think of that for once, I mean, you aren't even making sense! Why did you think I moved in with you?!"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because of pity and to make yourself feel better. That's the only reason you've been doing anything at all, every single action you do it's to make yourself feel as if you're important, as if you actually matter in this world, and that's why sometimes you get into stupid shit, because you're thinking of being the 'good charitable one' and head into problems without thinking. And now you're doing it with that thing at work, you saw that I was getting better so now you got to hop on to the next problem to give your worthless life some meaning." He snarled. "You-" then Saeran stopped. He was pacing around the room and turned to look at you to say something else, but then he saw tears were streaming down your face and he just...he felt so many emotions at once. He felt...mad to see you cry. And he felt....guilty. You had been the first one to call him tiring, and he just lost control at that moment. His immediate reaction was to insult you, to try and cause you the same pain.

Saeran quickly moved towards you and tried to touch your cheek, to make you look up.tl him. "I'm...I'm sorry Y/N I-"

Then, as if on reflect you slapped his hand away and glared. "Don't....just...don't..."

You grabbed your purse and keys and left the kitchen, leaving Saeran all alone.

He looked at his hand. You had never....never done something like that before. It wasn't as strong as when his mother would do it, in fact it didn't even physically hurt him. But he felt his heart break as he realized what the two of you had done.

He had said things...awful things. The two of you. And he had regretted them immediately.

Saeran felt his eyes water and tried to wipe them.

Don't cry, don't cry. You're not weak. Weak people cry and you're not weak.

Still, he couldn't help the sob that came out of his mouth and he paced around the room, gripping his hair. Then he quickly went to the bathroom to look at himself, to try and calm down.

He looked at his reflection. His hair was now messy, and his eyes red. He had been crying non-stop. Still, he glared at the person he saw in the mirror.

He hated it. He gripped his hands so hard. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to scream, to take it out on someone like he usually did, or to take it out on... himself.

You idiot, you goddamn idiot. You've ruined everything, this is your fault all your fault. Now they're... they're going to leave and it's because they finally saw that you weren't worth it, you are never worth it you stupid, stupid weakling.

He sobbed and then felt the anger inside of him suddenly take over, and he punched the mirror.

"DAMMIT!!" He cried, as he held his now bleeding hand and sat on the toilet.

You idiot! You abdolute idiot, why, why?! You're nothing you're worthless why why?! You don't deserve happiness you don't deserve anything nice in this world, why don't you just shrivel up and die you worthless bug.

He gripped his hair as memories of what his mother would say to him came back, of what Rika used to tell him all the time. Then he also remembered the cold look in your face and panted, feeling as if he wasn't able to breathe anymore. God what should he do? You were never going to forgive him, and you were right.

He was tiring. He wasn't worth your time, your love. Yeah...he wasn't worth it, he doesn't deserve you...maybe it'd be better if he....if he...-

"Saeran."

He suddenly jumped up from the toilet and snapped his head to look at the where the sound came from. You were standing in the doorway, your hair messy and your eyes red from crying. Saeran felt his heart break once again.

The two of you stood in silence for what seemed like hours, until you walked over to Saeran.

He held his breath, getting prepared to hear you saying you wanted it to end, that you didn't love him anymore. But...you didn't say anything of the sort. He gasped as he felt you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry Saeran." You cried, and it was suddenly as if something inside him moved, something that finally made him break. He gripped you tightly and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you Y/N, I love you, I love you so much." He mumbled as he felt the tears freely fall from his eyes this time. The two of you hugged each other, tightly, whispering so many words of love, of comfort. You ran your fingers through his hair as you whispered how much you loved him, how much he meant to you and you kept apologizing for what you said over and over again, while Saeran did the same.

At one point Saeran gently pushed you away and cupped your cheek, making you look up at him. Then he kissed you.

It was a messy, desperate kiss, the two of you still crying and sobbing and saying even more I love you's until you couldn't talk anymore.

When you pulled away you looked at Saeran, and then you noticed the bathroom mirror and gasped, immediately taking his hand to check it.

"Saeran..." You sobbed, as you looked at his bloody knuckles.

"I'm sorry...I got...I got a bit carried away...."

You shook your head and made him sit down on the toilet while you grabbed some towles and opened the sink, getting them wet. Then you knelt in front of Saeran and gently cleaned his hand.

Saeran bit his lip, trying to stop more tears from falling. He felt so bad, about telling you to leave, that you didn't matter, he felt so mad that he let his anger get the best of him.

And even after he said that....you came back. And you were taking care of him.

He can't remember the last time someone took care of his wounds like that for him. Last time he got hurt it was at mint eye, and you weren't even there yet. And now, he felt so grateful, so lucky to have you here.

As soon as you finished cleaning his knuckles you grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips, kissing them.

"Saeran...I'm really sorry. I should've...I should have never said said that. You...you are everything to me and I love you so much...I honestly don't know what I would do without you and...I'm sorry I've been away. I was...I was just so nervous about this new step in our life and I...I dont know, I panicked. I'm really sorry." You said, looking at the ground.

Saeran lifted your chin with his hand, and then he helped you stand up, so you'd be straddling him. Then, he leaned his forehead against yours and gave you a small smile.

"I'm sorry too. I know that you've been....so stressed lately. I'm really sorry for being selfish and only thinking about myself. I...I seemed to forget that a relationship is a two way street. And I'm supposed to also spoil you and smother you."

"And you do Saeran...you're...you're the best boyfriend ever. I love you."

"I love you too."

"And... I'll be more honest from now on...about my feelings and I won't try to run away. I'm...I'm going to be someone that also gives everything to you, just like you do to me."

The two of you smiled, and Saeran tangled his fingers in your hair pulling you towards him, kissing you again. This time the kiss was slow and tender, the two of you taking your time. Then, Saeran kissed your cheek, your neck, and made his way down to your chest, unbuttoning your shirt. Every kiss he gave you was his promise to you, to always love you and cherish you.

You helped him take off your shirt and you gripped his hair, gasping as he nipped and sucked, and kissed.

Eventually you stood up and took both of your clothes off, leading him to the shower. You could see he was about to put on the cold water, probably out of habit from doing it for so long, but you grabbed his hand and turned it so the water was warm. He looked at you confused for a second, but then you pulled his face down to kiss him once again.

He pushed you against the wall, and you gasped as he bit your neck and moved his hands to grab your hips.

Eventually the whole place got hot, and you wrapped your arms around Saeran as he slowly inserted himself inside you.

"Are you alright?" He whispered in your ear, and you nodded, making him look at you.

"I love you so much Saeran. I'm all yours, and I will always be. I promise I'll never leave you." Saeran's eyes widened and you gasped as you felt him suddenly move, his lips quickly against yours.

"I....I'm yours too. Forever, and ever, and I promise that I will always love you and stay by your side. I love you, I love you so much.....I love you...."

.......

That night the two of you laid cuddling in your bed, the covers against your bare skin. As you looked at the man sleeping beside you, you couldn't help but smile.

You loved him so much.

Every couple fights, and everyone has both good and bad days, but you wouldn't let that get in the way of your relationship. You had made a promise that day to always be with him, and you swore you would fulfill it.

You kissed him and held him closer to your body, finally letting yourself relax with the person you love the most in the world.

[rudjedet]

somecunttookmyurl replied to your post

“amazing. hit the t-minus 4 weeks mark until i’d have to go back to...”

"#you can come out of IVF with PTSD and it is NOT talked about enough" this does not really surprise me it doesn't seem like a pleasant process, on the whole. but medical ptsd in general is something nobody ever talks about bc doctors don't want to admit they're causing psychological harm to their patients amirite i am i'm right

you sure ain’t fucking wrong dude.

IVF is like... it can literally go wrong at ANY step of the way. literally.

You jab yourself with needles for at least 2 weeks in hopes of ripening follicles with eggs for the retrieval. This can go wrong and nothing can ripe, or too much can ripe and you end up with ovarian overstimulation syndrome, which means you have to wait anywhere between 6 weeks to several months before you can continue. We got lucky: 10 follicles bang on time. Still stressful as fuck.

Then the eggs get retrieved. Ever had a transvaginal ultrasound? It’s that, but now the ultrasound wand has a giant fuck off needle that punches through your uterus, into the follicles, to hopefully suck any eggs out. They don’t know if there are eggs in the follicles until they check in the IVF lab. This is generally considered horrible and painful as fuck, so they drug you to hell. I got lucky: it barely hurt because I’m a freak of nature. Still stressful as fuck beforehand.

Your hubbie/partner brings the eggs to the IVF lab while you sleep off having holes punched in your uterus like it’s a time card. This can go wrong, not only because he can technically have an accident on the way there, but also because there’s a non-zero chance there were no (usable) eggs extracted from the follicles. We got extremely lucky: I had 17 good-looking eggs (from 10 follicles!) Still stressful as fuck.

Extra stress: because I had so many double yolks, I was now at risk for ovarian overstimulation syndrome, see above. I got lucky: it didn’t happen. Still stressful as fuck.

Partner, if appliccable, jacks into a cup. This can go wrong because it can turn out because of the stress that the sperm isn’t of sufficient quality. Stressful, not so much for me.

You go home while the IVF technicians attempt to fertilise the eggs with sperm. You get an appointment for the third day after the retrieval, but until the morning of the transfer you will not know if any fertilisation occurred. So this can still go wrong after all of the above stress. Stressful as fuck. We got lucky: we had at least one fertilisation (they don’t tell you how many eggs were fertilised until you get there, just that you get the go ahead).

You go to the IVF lab for the transfer. Before the first, fresh transfer, they tell you how many of the eggs were fertilised. This can go wrong because the fertilised eggs might not even be of sufficient quality. They told me to sit down first so I freaked the fuck out. We got extremely lucky: we had 14(!) fertilised eggs that looked good to excellent. Fucking stressful bullshit.

After the transfer you may get a bunch of progesterone suppositories that you have to shove up there three times a day. And then literally all you can do is wait for 11-14 days before you can test. While you know there’s a blastocyst in your endometrial lining that may or may not implant. This is where it gets even more fucking stressful. We didn’t get lucky with that first transfer. Cue renewed heartbreak when you stare at the nth negative pregnancy test.

In the meanwhile, if you had more than one succesful fertilisation, they will attempt to cryofreeze the ones that weren’t transferred that day (over here, if you’re younger than 37 they’ll only transfer one egg at a time; over 37 and they’ll transfer two). This can go wrong. The eggs may not survive this process. We got lucky: the next week we received a letter that 12 of the remaining 13 eggs were succesfully frozen. If you’re like me, you’ll feel bad about the one that was lost because you consider the fertilised eggs your babies already. Highly stressful on top of the already stressful business of waiting and hyperfocusing on ANY sign of implantation/pregnancy.

If, like us, you were unlucky in the getting-pregnant department but lucky enough to have extra eggs, you get to try again the next month or month after that. I had to be on HRT for two weeks prior because they’d previously knocked my cycle out because of the endometriosis. About 11 days into your medicated cycle they’ll check the thickness of your endometrial lining. If it’s thick enough, you get the go ahead. In case of an unmedicated cycle, you have to do ovulation tests until you get a positive, in which case you get the go ahead. You get an appointment at the lab, but now you have to wait until the morning of the day of to hear whether or not one of the eggs successfully thawed because guess what: that can still go wrong. We got lucky: all four cryo transfers thawed without issues.

Repeat steps 6-7. Get to do the stressing all over again! Eventually we got lucky: on our 3rd transfer, we had a positive pregnancy test.

You call in the result, everybody is happy and congratulates you. Then you get to wait another 4-6 weeks before the term ultrasound. The first time this happens, this is kind of exciting! But it can still go wrong, because 25% of pregnancies naturally abort before 7 weeks. Stressful, and the days seem to stretch like thick jelly. We didn’t get lucky: miscarried our first baby at 8 weeks, on the very morning of the ultrasound. The most heartbreaking thing to ever have happened. I saw our baby that day, but I didn’t want it to be on a piece of toilet paper, lifeless.

Repeat steps 6-9, or, in our case, 6-11, but this time miscarry at 6 weeks, on your first wedding anniversary just to add insult to injury.

Optional: Get your fucking endometrial cysts removed because now your gynaecologists suspects you either have some serious fucking bad luck, or the cysts are actively working against a lasting pregnancy. Stressful and painful as fuck.

Repeat steps 6-10. We got lucky: another positive test. Apparently my body figured out how to do the whole getting pregnant thing at that point, because I was pregnant three times in a row. Now the waiting begins again. You’re at this point so traumatised and so convinced your body is incapable of carrying to term, you’re having a hard time being happy and/or bonding with the little bean inside you. You go to the term ultrasound. Your heart is in your throat. But then you see baby’s heart beat on the monitor, and your amazingly awesome beautiful gynaecologist says there’s now a 97% chance you’ll carry to term. We got lucky. So lucky.

Be pregnant. Try not to freak. You’ll freak anyway. You shit bricks every time you go to the bathroom, expecting to see the blood of a beginning miscarriage any day now. You can’t enjoy the pregnancy. Pregnancy sucks anyway, fuck that shit with a rusty cactus. Every time you buy something for the baby, or tell a new person of your pregnancy, you think that’s the moment you’ll miscarry, because it was never meant to be for you. If you’re like me, you end up on sick leave from work because your first miscarriage started there and the site of your job and miscarriages are now forever linked. Every ultrasound appointment is the most stressful thing you’ve ever done, convinced as you are your baby will die before birth. You call your obstetrician every week just to get another check done because you’re so worried. We got so lucky: our baby was in perfect health every time.

Give birth. Feel like you’re the fucking luckiest people on the goddamn planet because that little bean you just pushed out of your vagina spent almost a year as an icicle and what the fuck? is that kind of miracle? Thank the Lord and all that is holy for modern medicine.

Remain traumatised and deadly afraid you’ll lose your baby to SIDS any day now, to the point you actively tried not to bond just to make the heartbreak you just know is coming less. Bond with your baby anyway because she’s adorable, amazing, so soft, and the cutest, sweetest, most beautiful thing you ever laid eyes on. 

Realise very acutely that there are many, many people who have to go through all of the above without ever coming out of it at the other end with a baby. Cry. 

But yeah let’s not talk about how traumatising all of that shit is. You’ll get support at the hospital, sure, but if you’re lucky enough to even get pregnant it’s often crap because “we don’t do trauma help during pregnancy”. And yeah okay that makes sense, that kind of stress won’t be good for the baby. But the other kind of stress you’re dealing with isn’t, either.

[highqueenofelfhame]

“why are you lying to me” “do you even still love me?” FOR ROWAELIN IDK WHAT AU I JUST WANT SOME AnGST

PART TWO OF THE EXES AU I didn’t include the do you even still love me bit bc it doesn’t fit hOWEVER. Here we go.

The rest of the weekend went almost identical to Friday night. Aelin called Rowan drunk in the middle of the night, he picked her up from the bar and took her home, she begged him to stay until she fell asleep, and when she woke up he was gone.

Monday morning he sent her a text to make sure she was okay, because despite Aelin always drinking in some capacity, the amount she was drinking over the course of the weekend had worried him. She said she was fine, just taking a break from reality over the weekend, don’t worry about it. Right. Like Rowan Whitethorn would ever not worry about Aelin Galathynius.

It was around eight thirty PM when she called this time, about six hours earlier than her other calls, and she wasn’t drunk. In fact, she was sober, her voice as clear as her bright blue eyes.

“I just came out of the office and everyone is gone for the day, and I have a flat. Aedion isn’t answered so I just…can you please help me? You know I’m not good at these things,” her voice was a little muffled, rubbing against her shirt or something as she likely dug around in her trunk. She wasn’t good at these things because she never had to be. They were supposed to have gotten married and Rowan would have taken care of all of this for her regardless for the rest of their lives. Rowan rapped his fingers on his kitchen counter and shoved his box of takeout into the fridge.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Gods, thank you so much. I owe you,” she quipped, the end of her sentence trailing up an octave in relief. He hung up and stuffed his phone into his pocket, snagged his keys off the counter, and made his way to Kingsflame Technologies, her parents business that she was now CEO of at the young age of 26.

When he pulled up, she was sitting with in the open back of her SUV, spare tire and manual jack on the ground next to the completely deflated tire that was still attached to her car. No, she wouldn’t have been able to get anywhere on that thing. He parked, inspecting the tire as he approached, shaking his head slightly.

“Do I or do I not have the most absurd luck you’ve ever seen?” She asked him, pushing off the back of her car. Rowan nodded his head in agreement, acutely award that this was the first sober conversation they’d had in six months. He dropped to the ground and got to work, jacking the car up off the ground, too aware of the way her eyes trailed over his arms. He didn’t say much as he worked, but then neither did she, just standing to the side and watching, most likely absorbing the instruction of how to change a tire so that maybe next time she could do it on her own. She was smart that way, a genius actually, her IQ so high that nobody had ever doubted that Kingsflame would thrive under her control when she took over. Nobody ever thought it would be so soon, though.

When he finished, he pushed himself to his feet and wiped his hands on his jeans, finally giving himself a moment to actually look at her. She was looking at him, too, her turquoise and gold eyes sad, the smile she gave him not quite reaching her eyes. She also looked exhausted, just completely and utterly exhausted, which he honestly expected after the weekend she’d had.

“I’m sorry for this,” she gestured to the mess on the ground, “and for this weekend. My phone kept dying and you’re the only number I really have memorized anymore. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m stupid.”

“You’re not…stupid,” he said, and the hesitation in his voice made her laugh, a real laugh, the laugh he loved and dreamt about every fucking night of his life. Then he was laughing, too, the specific laugh that only ever came out around Aelin. The laugh that only she had ever coaxed out of him, it was warm and happy. Sure, he laughed with his friends, but this was something different. A sound his friends hadn’t heard since she broke up with him.

Their laughter died shortly later and an awkward silence filled the space between them, Aelin rocking back onto the heels of her shoes before they reconnected with the ground with a loud slap. She cleared her throat, chewing on her bottom lip – a habit she had since before Rowan had known her.

“I should let you go,” she said softly, bending to pick up the tools, the mess off the ground. Rowan quickly joined her, taking the heavy jack from her hands and tucking it back into it’s compartment, making sure everything was in the right place before he shut the back of her car. “Thank you, Ro.” She moved like she wanted to reach for him, to hug him, but didn’t, awkwardly turning and getting into the drivers seat. He stood there, leaning against his car as she drove away, unable to take his eyes off the place she’d been standing before him moments ago. Unable to unhear the words she’d said so sadly. I should let you go.

-

On Tuesday, it was because her smoke alarm was chirping and she couldn’t reach it. Apartment maintenance wouldn’t be able to come by until the next morning, and she wouldn’t be able to sleep if it kept beeping. Aedion was in Rifthold on business for Kingsflame, and Fenrys was going through a breakup. Lorcan, though dating her friend Elide, didn’t like her enough to help her do anything, unless it meant pushing her down a set of stairs. So when Rowan’s phone rang at six in the evening, when he was finishing up at work, and Aelin gave her whole spiel of how everyone else was busy – he drove to Aelin’s house and stood on a chair and changed the batteries of the smoke alarm. He checked all of them around her apartment, and the carbon monoxide detectors, ensuring that those batteries were good to go, too.

“You should be all set,” he said, hopping off the dining room chair. His landing was quiet as a bird in flight, hardly making a sound when his feet landed on the ground.

“Thank you, Ro. I’m sorry,” she said again, chewing on her full bottom lip, braiding the ends of her hair absently. He merely nodded and left moments later.

-

On Thursday, it was because the toilet was running, and it seemed silly to call her apartment’s maintenance team for such a small job. Aedion was still out of town, Fenrys was still sad, and Lorcan still hated her guts. So when she called Rowan at ten thirty as he stepped out of the shower, he got dressed and went to her apartment, finagling the insides of the toilet tank until the running ceased and everything was in working order.

The whole time, Aelin stood by the door, bouncing on her toes impatiently, golden hair braided over her shoulder. She wore a large t-shirt with a band logo and shorts that barely covered anything. Her feet were bare, toes painted a dark, emerald sort of green.

When he finished this time, it had only been ten minutes, but her hands were raw from wringing them as though she were overly anxious about him being in her bathroom. The bathroom that they used to share, that they had spent three years worth of mornings brushing teeth next to one another. The bathroom that he had taken her on the counter of after a shower.

He wiped his hands on a towel, and she moved from the doorway, letting him exit into the bedroom, watching him go out into the sitting room. Still, she chewed on her bottom lip, so much so that it was a bright hue from being gnawed at.

“Thank you, Ro,” she said, her voice soft. Softer still than it had been days ago, softer than when she had asked him to stay until she was asleep. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, but they both knew that wasn’t true. She had broken his heart, left without explanation, asked him to move out after telling him she didn’t want to be with him anymore. She had done plenty. And that lip, sucked between her bottom teeth as she tried not to cry, was another thing she kept doing, the anxious gesture twisting his gut because he wanted nothing more than to kiss her worries away. But he couldn’t. So he grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter and moved toward the door. When she thought he was going to leave, she started to turn to retreat back into the bedroom, but his voice made her pause.

“Why are you lying to me?” Aelin froze, turning slowly on her heels.

“What?”

“About everyone else. Fenrys would have still come. Lorcan would have probably come if Elide asked. You know you could have called maintenance and they could do these little things when you’re not home. And I know you stabbed your tire or something, there wasn’t a nail and the gash was too big. So why are you lying to me?” He didn’t sound mad, his voice was even, maybe just curious. That lip was back between her teeth, growing more red by the second.

“I,” she had to pause to swallow the lump in her throat, her voice cracking on the single syllable. She leaned against the door frame of her bedroom, toes digging into the plush carpet in an attempt to ground herself. “I miss you so much that I can’t breathe and I’ve been trying to let you go for six months and all I can think about is that you should be home. And I can’t – you still came when I called. That first night was an accident I really couldn’t remember anyone else’s number but your’s. But you still came. And you carried me upstairs and tucked me into bed and sat there until I fell asleep because I asked you to. And seeing you felt too good. It felt…I felt whole? So I got hammered all weekend just to call you to take me home. And then I put bad batteries in my smoke alarm, and broke my toilet and slashed my own tire just to see you. Because I knew you’d still come,” she was crying now, bent over with her hands on her knees, tears dripping onto her legs, running down her thighs. She wiped at her nose with the back of her hand the same time she heard the front door close. She let out a sob – she was alone.

@but-she-was-aelin-galathynius @thebitchupstairs @musicmaam @starseternalnighttriumphant

[omorainbow]

wassup everyone, here’s my absolutely garbage r/fa omorashi headcanons that nobody asked for or wanted (under the cut)

ze/n

he has nearly supernatural healing abilities so i feel like he’d also have super efficient kidneys

honestly probably has the smallest bladder capacity in the rf/a lmao rip

(he canonically was shocked that se/ven and yo/osung hadn’t gone to the bathroom for three hours while watching a tv show.... honey, do you think that’s a long time?!)

wetting himself onstage would be his worst nightmare; he’s probably leaked up there a few times but never actually wet

the second worst thing that could happen to him would be wetting in front of j/umin- i think ju/min wouldn’t do much except either a. make a few snarky remarks about wetting yourself being unusual for an adult or b. actually attempt (with a 100 percent chance of failing, seeing as it’s jumi/n) to be ....considerate.... about it, depending on how upset z/en seemed, but either way ze/n would get mad. there’d be some tension in the r/fa chatroom for a while lol

despite his machismo he’d actually probably be a huge baby about wetting himself lmao. he needs a lot of comfort afterwards (specifically from you)

absolutely 0% into omo imo, he’d try it for m/c’s sake if she were into it tho

yoosun/g:

tends to overestimate his holding capacity... would definitely put off going to the toilet if he was gaming (or when he sits down to study) 

at the same time, he gets very whiny if circumstances (rather than his own choice) force him into holding. expect this boy to come whining in the r/fa chatroom if he’s ever stuck somewhere without a bathroom

if he drinks coffee it’s over for him

(pass out after drinking caffeine syndrome? more like piss yourself after drinking caffeine syndrome-)

has definitely had close calls during exams from overloading on coffee before, but he never learns

if he wets himself in front of anyone, he’d be as embarrassed as you’d expect and probably cry a bit (though he’d try to suppress it because he feels he’s already made himself look childish enough), but with some gentle comfort he’d get over it surprisingly quickly (expect him to get indignant if/when sev/en teases him later tho lol)

probably the worst thing that could happen to him is wetting in front of v (while wetting in class is a close second). this would be a disaster for everyone involved.

(v: it’s alright y/oosung, please let me help you)

(yoosu/ng (in tears): SHUT UP I DON’T NEED PITY FROM THE LIKES OF YOU)

(v: you’re right. i’m sorry. this is all my fault-)

definitely into holding for m/c (for reasons that are probably obvious to anyone who played his route lmao)

ja/ehee (my love)

jum/in probably doesn’t realize how often normal humans need bathroom breaks so after years of working for him she’s probably in the habit of holding for long periods of time

honestly tho, if she’s passed out from being overworked, she’s DEFINITELY wet herself from it

i imagine she’d get up and go when she absolutely had to, but if something came up on her way there she might not make it rip

also a coffee lover... doesn’t really pace herself with caffeine, make of that what you will

if she wet herself at work, she’d just die. her coworkers already don’t  respect her, and her job is hard enough... jum/in would probably allow her to go home but also would complain in the chatroom about it

ju/min: “It’s very difficult to work without Assistant K/ang here. She had to leave due to an accident.”

m/c: “oh no, an accident? is jae/hee okay?”

jumi/n: “I am sure she will be fine. Wetting oneself does not usually pose a risk to one’s health.”

ze/n: immediately fights ju/min

as there’s nothing to be done for it, she’d downplay how upset she was and probably find wetting more of an inconvenience than anything. that being said she’d deeply appreciate it if m/c gave her some comfort

omo is probably a deeply hidden guilty pleasure for her, she’d only try it if m/c suggested it but i feel she might really enjoy it in specific circumstances

jum/in

very strong bladder capacity

would show no signs of being desperate except maybe a few tells like idk, occasionally fidgeting? the only people who’d pick up on these are people who know him very well (meaning like... v and m/c lol)

if he did wet himself, i think he’d show absolutely no emotion. once again, only someone who knew him very well would be able to tell he was actually upset

for most people, comforting him would be pretty difficult and probably a nightmare for both parties lmao

i think he’d be more accepting of it from you tho

it’s hard to write for him, bc i feel like situations in which he’d be desperate are rare

that being said, if he gets drunk enough (which is rare, seeing how his tolerance has built over the years) he might get to the point where he stops caring and just starts peeing. of course he’ll realize halfway through that this may not be a great idea, but it’s usually too late at that point lmao

he’s definitely into omo lol

seve/n

high bladder capacity

that being said, also fucking terrible at self care (... they all are tbh but se/ven is the worst about it) and if he was working, he may not notice he needs to piss until he’s on the verge of wetting and he just doubles over at his desk like. swearing and wondering how tf he didn’t notice he had to go before

definitely has been too busy to get up for a bathroom break, usually would just piss in a bottle/can of phd pepper (i’m sure he’s got empty ones lying around his workstation)

if he didn’t he’d probably just piss himself right there as he continued to work and miserably resolve to clean it later

(vande/rwood, conveniently choosing this moment to drop by: damn, bitch, you live like this?)

seeing as he’s sleep deprived as hell, whenever he gets to sleep he probably sleeps like the dead, nothing able to wake him up... what i’m saying is he’s definitely had dreams where he was using the bathroom and woken up in the middle of wetting the bed

also probably into omo lbr. though he usually hates wetting, he likes doing it for m/c. he’s probably wet his maid uniform for fun

v (oh boy)

probably gets a nervous bladder

the least likely of the guys to just whip it out and go if he needed to

you know how everyone loves those characters who are too concerned about bothering others to mention they have to pee? that’s 100% v. you could keep asking him as he got progressively more antsy and he’d just keep insisting he was fine and that you shouldn’t worry. he might casually mention that he may possibly need a restroom, but isn’t super assertive or clear about it, so most people wouldn’t think it was a big deal (even though he’s dying on the inside)

he does get somewhat fidgety, adjusting his clothes and bouncing his leg, but it wouldn’t be obvious what the cause was; you’d just mistake it for nervousness. only people who know him well (such as jum/in or seve/n) would be able to figure it out

i honestly can’t decide what his number one worst scenario would be, but i think anything in public would be nearly traumatic for him. if he wet himself in front of the other r/fa members he’d just get real quiet and say he’s fine and that he’ll clean it himself, but in reality he’d be deeply upset

this makes comforting him all the more difficult, even when you’re trying to tell him it’s okay he’d probably just keep apologizing and telling you not to worry about him

probably not really into omo but would try it for m/c

[reinalowellwrites-blog]

college and hotel AUs

so I just started living on campus at uni and I work in a hotel, so I made a list of writing prompts with my best friend @scubadiva that we would really like you all to use and play around with however you want. Make a short story, make a scene, write half a scene and give up, write a full novel, do anything! Just make sure to copy & paste or link it down below because we reallyyyy want to read them. So, without further ado...

College AU prompts:

“Hey you’re in my class and you’re always the smartest and most organized, but now you’re sloppy drunk in this club and grinding on a stranger, also what do you mean we have two tests tomorrow????” au 

“I’m the shuttle driver and you’ve been riding around campus with me for three hours in silence so I finally asked why and you said your roommates hate you and want to fight with you and you don’t have a car to drive away in so now you’re doing your homework in this now-empty shuttle with me which is totally not creepy because I swear I won’t invade your personal space, but you should know I’m missing my break for this so now we’re going to a drive-thru do you want a cheeseburger” au

“You’re the shuttle driver and I don’t have the heart to tell you that you missed the last two stops—mine included—because Mr. Brightside distracted you, but I really need to get to class and wtf are you crying?????” au

“I met you waiting at the shuttle stop while checking my mailbox and stopped to talk to you because you’re really cute but you should know that it’s Saturday so the shuttle doesn’t run today and also can I have your number????” au

“You’re a really cute RA and I’m super into you and I can’t tell if it’s mutual or not but please come over every day so I can ask you questions I already know the answer to also I genuinely don’t think this key opens any of the mailboxes what is it for” au

“I woke up after a college party in a locked building I don’t recognize and hello stranger I think I kissed last night, do you know how we got here or how we escape because I'm scared????” au

“Our college has a game where each student has to find the student they’re assigned to “kill” and everyone who gets a kill takes their victim’s assignment and I’ve been the champ for a while but now there’s a new streak-winning killer on the loose and no one knows who it is and I’m probably about to make out with you at this party when you try to kill me but I catch you before you can because I have your name too and uh oh now what” au

Hotel AU prompts:

“I’m sorry I banged on the wall between our rooms and then also your door so loudly, I thought you were having loud sex but it’s actually just you rocking against your headboard and sobbing are you okay???” au

“You’re the night housekeeper and I’m a guest and I thought you were super cute so now I’ve asked for like four microwaves even though I don’t have any food because I want to see you again and I think you’re starting to realize that I’m not actually having trouble with any of them so hey let’s go eat dinner sometime maybe????” au

“This hotel has a make your own pasta bar and you’re the chef making the pasta and I hate everything you’re recommending but I can’t say no to those beautiful eyes and now you want to watch me take a bite but I’m literally so allergic to dairy and gluten so I’m just gonna box it up and say it’s for my brother when in reality I’m going to go to my room and beg my parents not to kill me for doing this like eight days in a row” au

“My family came on this vacation to explore the town, but I twisted my ankle so they left me behind and my ankle is better now but please don’t tell them because I’d much rather be here on the balcony where I can spy on you every day while you work at the pool” au

“You’re the room service boy and we were flirting earlier but now I’m sulking in my room after my parents embarrassed me in front of you when I hear a knock on the door and I didn’t order room service and it’s just a flower and a note and omg it’s from you” au

“You’re a massage therapist and I’m your client and you haven’t done anything unprofessional but you’re so good at your job and so sweet and cute that now I’m in love with you and I’m definitely coming back to see if you remember me tomorrow because if you do then I’m asking you out” au

“I’m a chef and you’re the room service attendant and we’ve got a full house of people with special dietary needs so they keep sending you here to yell at me or something but you’re being really nice to me and now everyone is staring because I haven’t threatened to kill you with my favorite cleaver yet but it’s because you’re really cute????? fuckin marry me, you little shit, wHAT DO YOU MEAN THE THIN CRUST IS TOO THICK” au

“You’re a server and it’s so late that you forget yourself and sit down at my table, but it’s so cute and I feel so bad for you that I let you stay and you say the candlelight makes this seem like a date and I don’t have the heart to tell you I think I just got stood up and oh nvm here is my asshole bf and you definitely don’t like it but you leave and the next day I get a note at breakfast from you saying thank you and oh great now I’m feeling feelings I gtg jk a snowstorm has come to trap all three of us in, thanks bomb cyclone” au

“You’re simultaneously setting up my sister’s wedding and counseling her and her husband through their first big fight and I’d hate to add more to your busy schedule, but I’m in love with you for reasons I don’t quite get yet and I want to go out with you asap but you’re super busy so I guess I gotta bring you lunch on your break do you like Panera???? that seems pretty grown up and you’re pretty grown so” au

“We both work night shifts in the lobby, you’re at front desk and I’m guest services, and I definitely want to make out with you after last year’s ~close encounter~ but I’m scared you don’t feel the same but then one day a coworker backs out of coat check with you and I’m filling in and it’s so late and we’re basically in a closet without a camera and idk if you remember, but night shift means no rules so let's just kiss and see what happens” au

“You’re the engineer’s apprentice and I’m the guest whose thermostat won’t cooperate and the hotel is too full for me to move rooms so I’m just gonna have to call you for help every day oh well so hey do you like cookies because I bought some to thank and maybe seduce you idk I’ve never done this before pls just don’t laugh at me” au

“You’re the engineer’s apprentice and I’m the guest who’s broken two microwaves, a shower wall, and a lamp, but now I’ve clogged the toilet and as it turns out, the plunger I ordered on prime now is useless because I refuse to admit it’s my fault and I told you it’s my friend’s, but you don’t buy it at all and now I’m blushing red as fuck pls stop laughing okay yeah I guess it’s kind of funny do u wanna get dinner” au

“all available staff is staying overnight bc of the inclement weather protocols and we somehow got adjoining rooms and I knocked on the door between us to tell you to shut up and when you opened your side I saw you shirtless and wtf why are you so hot this does not fit with your job here also did I just agree to sit with you at dinner tonight“ au

I’ll be adding to this post in the future if I think of any more. For now, please enjoy the fact that these are based loosely on things that have happened to me and scubadiva irl (except the first one, which is from one of our friends’ stories about uni (she’s the organized/sloppy drunk one lol)).

[cementpizza]

is it okay to ask what happened with your friends? maybe it will help to talk it out

i’ll preface this by saying that i’ve already talked to them and things are worked out now so that’s that.

here’s the setup: i have to wake up at 5:20am for work mon-fri. i leave the house at 6am and won’t be back from my jobs until 7pm that same day (if i’m lucky). and again, that’s mon-fri. i’ve been telling all of my roommates this and making a big deal about it specifically so they know that i’ll be asleep early, waking up early, and gone pretty much all day. i’m working 2 different summer camps, one in the morning/afternoon and one in the afternoon/evening, so i come home extremely tired. my weekends are my only free time and even then i’m likely prepping for the next work week, doing laundry/other chores/cleaning, grocery shopping, and preparing to move since i’ll be officially moving out the weekend of july 8th. so essentially i’m always busy.

one of my roommates had her sisters in town visiting and staying at our house, and she had essentially promised them a party at our house while they were there (it was like mon-fri or something). meanwhile, i can’t stay up late and can’t drink/get hungover (especially bc i work with children). my bedroom is the only one in our house that’s downstairs, meaning anytime there’s a party i’m kept up super late by all the noise - especially when people are drunk, which they were planning on. she chose wednesday nigh for some reason and invited all of our friends. knowing that it wasn’t gonna work for me. so i had to go stay the night at my dad’s house and not only miss out on hanging out with our friends, but take an hour or so out of my already tight schedule to pack my bag and drive over. during that hour i could’ve been cleaning, doing work that i needed for friday, sleeping... any number of things that needed to be done. but no.

so i was already kind of pissed going into the next day.

i came home on thursday after work and the entire downstairs (save my bedroom, thank god; i’d left my door closed as always and i’m really thankful that either no one went in or at least no one messed with my room if they did go in) was a disaster. the kitchen had dishes, trash, and food fucking everywhere. the living room had dirty laundry, trash, empty bottles, empty solo cups, dishes... you name it, it was pretty much everywhere. i could see stains and spills of various things that hadn’t been cleaned up. we have a couch that pulls out into a bed, and that was still pulled out from the night before (remember that by the time i get home it’s past 7pm). and the bathroom. that was the worst part. makeup spilled all over the counter and in the sink. trash everywhere. things that should have been on the counter, like the tissue box, were knocked over on the floor. the rugs were crumpled up in the middle of the room. again, dirty laundry scattered around the room. stuff was knocked over in the shower and on the floor. and my little bottle of bath salts that i’d opened literally the day before was 1/4 spilled behind the toilet, just sitting there in a big pile, and the bottle cap was cracked open. two of my other roommates were sitting out in the living room, watching tv, doing literally nothing to clean up the mess. i half cleaned up the bathroom just to feel comfortable enough to shower, packed my bag, and announced that i was leaving due to the mess. walked out crying from anger. stayed with my dad for the second night in a row.

then comes friday. i got a half-day with my jobs; i only had to work the first camp due to a special event day schedule with the second camp. i was really excited to get home early - about 1pm! until i walked in, and nothing had changed from the day before except for the bed being folded up into the couch; in its place, all of the blankets and sheets were piled in front of the laundry room. if anything, everything looked worse, actually. on wednesday and thursday i had been ranting to my 4th roommate about everything that was angering me in this situation, so i immediately texted her all angry again. and i took pictures this time. i still have them. but she told me that she had been doing some cleaning and that if they’d re-dirtied everything (which they had) then she’d be pissed off too. god, i was livid. it was fucking disgusting. it had been almost two days since their party and the house was still a wreck. i again decided not to stay at the house, but this time i made the decision that i wouldn’t be staying at the house again until it was entirely cleaned up. i re-packed my bag for the third time - for the whole weekend, this time - and also packed up a bunch of my non-essentials to start on the moving process. i was grabbing things from all around the house; all-in-all, i got probably 1/4 of my total moving done, if not more. after leaving i texted our roommate chat and told them that i was angry and not coming back until the house was clean (and to expect to see some of my stuff gone from around the house as i’d started moving).

it is now sunday morning and i haven’t been back yet. i was promised that the house would be clean by yesterday. we’ll see.

i honestly don’t care if y’all think this is dramatic or a petty complaint. i know i’m moving soon, but it’s still my fucking house too for the next 3 weeks or so. i still pay rent to live there. i deserve to be able to participate in plans with my friends; i shouldn’t have to leave my house due to someone else’s poor scheduling. my roommate should have consulted all of us and taken our schedules/needs into account before promising her sisters a party. that was really inconsiderate. and then to not even clean up the house for two days? fucking unacceptable. i should not be coming home from my work days to that, and especially not to people sitting around doing nothing when they were a part of the mess. i was absolutely disgusted and felt incredibly disrespected and angry about the whole situation.

so. that’s it.