#I’m blaming the place. and not myself (although I am 110% to blame)

[waugh-bao]

[xxmisty]

Coming Out (yes, again :P)

I don’t really know how to put this into words tbh. The last thing I ever expected was to have to come out again at this point in my life. The thing is, in the time i’ve been away (and a bit before if i’m honest) something has happened that totally threw me. 

Back in January this year I was finally able to get back on T for the first time since early 2017 and boy, it’s made the most MASSIVE impact in my life, like you wouldn’t believe. Everything feels SO RIGHT, I can’t actually put it into words. I could go on for hours about it but I won’t bore you to tears with that, the main thing is that i’ve literally never felt better about myself or felt more self-assured in who I am.

Bit there’s been a strange side effect that I had never, EVER thought would happen to me. I just didn’t think it was possible. All my life I’d been exclusively attracted to woman - although for years and years I attempted to force/persuade myself to find men attractive, lied to myself about crushes I didn’t have, lied to other people about crushes I didn’t have, urghhhhh all those years when I tried everything I could to force myself into at least fancying men a little bit, all for nought because my sexual attraction was to women only and always had been.

And then testosterone laughed in my face and over the course of the last 9 months my sexuality has SHIFTED ffs 

And boy, am I mad about this!!! Like you have no idea!!! The ridiculousness of turning 40 and admitting that my sexuality had shifted within the space of the same week was... strange and crazy. It’s not like it happened overnight, it was a process over the space of a good few months that started in a way I find EQUALLY TRAUMATIC and I blame lucy for 110%!!! She made me watch A Show >:( Though somehow that’s an even harder admission to talk about than saying ‘‘hey, some men are actually quite hot now? And also nb people are like wow?” So I think that's a whole other confession for a whole other time (but also WOW I finally regained the ability to be truly hyper fixated on a show for the first time since 1999 and that’s like getting a whole piece of myself back!!)

I’ve done the closet thing way too many times in my life and I don’t want to do it again. It’s taken me a bit of time to come to terms with this sudden and pretty huge shift but I really want to get back to posting on here and this has always been the place I’ve felt like I could be myself.   

I honestly don’t know what to call myself, the shift in my sexuality has elements of both bi and pan without really feeling like either? I’m more in a position of ‘wow, there really are a lot of hot people aren’t there?’ (And oh my god, I am so hyper horny all the fucking time, thanks testosterone)

Lucy has been way way beyond incredible and has helped me more than I can ever put into words.  I love how this has brought our sexuality very much in line with each other. And our taste seems to line up almost exactly across the board which is sbfkhbskjfbjdabfhvfhjvsajdhv

I’ve already rambled much longer than I meant to so I shall depart for now and hide my head in Lucy’s bosom, weeping about how much I hate testosterone until she reminds me ‘no you don’t’ :P 

God I feel weird posting this........

I love this place and I love you guys :)

[gaijinschoollibrarian]

Manga and Women: Buying Manga for School Libraries in the #MeToo Era

When I talk to other school librarians about manga and anime, many of them voice a similar concern: the manga they see has horrible treatment of women. These are not invalid concerns, especially as school librarians are working to make their collections more inclusive and affirming. And when students are requesting series that depict sexual harassment and assault as comedic occurrences (I'm looking at you, Seven Deadly Sins), or at the very least, series which treat women solely as sexual or romantic beings, I can't blame my colleagues for their hesitation.

That said, there's a lot to unpack with this debate. There are elements of Japanese society that are inherently different from American society. Many school librarians also know nothing of the distinctions between genres of manga, or have only heard of what's most popular among their patrons. Manga is often seen as the way to get boys reading, and so masculine titles tend to be extremely popular for purchasing. What I'm going to do is try to unpack these things, piece by piece, to try and provide some context- and maybe show my peers that the stereotypes of shōnen manga are not all there is out there to purchase.

Societal Differences in the Perception of Gender

If we all work from the supposition that gender is a social construct, then perhaps it might be easier to understand that Japan's constructs are similar and different to Western constructs. Japanese media can come across as being both freer and stricter with gender roles. Here are a few things you need to understand about Japan in relation to women:

Japan is ranked 110 out of 144 countries on the World Economic Forum's annual report on gender equality.

There is only one female member of the Japanese Cabinet.

As of 2017, only 3.4% of executives in Japan were women.

The ratio of female-to-male physicians in Japan is 21%.

Japan has been trying to improve the standing of women in society, but it's been difficult.

Japan has a long history of having a traditional gender balance of labor wherein women are expected to raise children and take care of housekeeping, while men are expected to work. Japanese society generally has a very heavy line down the center in this division, much more so than there currently is in the West. Since 1986, the Equal Employment Opportunity Law has been in place to try and provide more gender equity in the workplace in Japan, but it's been a struggle. Part of the problem is that there was no penalty for employers who did not adhere to the changes.

Japan, also, has a serious problem with the way it handles and reports sexual harassment and assault. Certain occurrences which Western women consider assault are not necessarily seen as such by Japanese women. In her article, "Shifting attitudes toward sexual violence in Japan", Masami Ito describes her experiences:

When I was in junior high school, a young man who lived in the same apartment building flashed me in an elevator, blocking the entrance as he did so.

When I was in college, a middle-aged man cornered me in the box seat on a train and masturbated in front of me.

When I was in my mid-20s, a man pressed himself against me in the aisle of a convenience store and then followed me home. I had to call my father for help that time.

And, of course, I have been groped on trains many, many times.

Until recently, I never considered these incidents to be sexual assaults, nor did I ever view myself as a victim. I told myself that such things happened all the time and I was never physically hurt. I compared my experiences to those of other women and I considered myself lucky.

In Japan, there's even a word for men who grope women on crowded trains: chikan. Tokyo's Metropolitan Police Department reported 1,750 cases of groping on the trains. (I attempted to find figures on this particular crime in NYC from the same year, but was unable to find any exact report of figures.) It's such a common occurrence, it's often a plot point in manga. In My Love Story!! the protagonist meets his future girlfriend by stopping a man from groping her.

I want to be clear, and maybe the panels of My Love Story!! do something to show this, that the problems of sexual harassment in Japan are seen as problems by people in the country. There are Japanese feminists and citizens who want things to change. Last year, the BBC released a documentary titled Japan's Secret Shame, which went into the experiences of three different women who were raped in Japan. It's not available at the moment, but if you can find a way to see it, it may give insight into the issue if you want to know more.

Shōnen, Shōjo, and So Much More

The complaints I hear the most are in relation to what is known as shōnen manga. Shōnen is geared toward boys between ages 12 and 18. There's a reason this stuff flies off the shelf with our male-identifying patrons: it's literally made for them. The longest running series in Japan are shōnen manga, and are household names here in the West (you've probably heard of Dragonball Z, I presume). Typically, these are high-action, hyper-masculine stories. And while there are exceptions, such as My Hero Academia, there's a large history of "fan service" in shōnen. There's also some pretty big issues with some of the creators of shōnen titles.

For example, the author of Rurouni Kenshin was found with an enormous backlog of child pornography DVDs. Not only did he have this material, he admitted his attraction to young girls. His manga is currently still in publication, after he paid a fine of only ¥200,000 (about $1,800 USD). No, I am not joking.

I don't want you to come away from this thinking shōnen manga is evil, by the way. What I want is for fellow school librarians to know that what they're seeing is just a fraction of what manga has to offer. Some shōnen has female protagonists (Yotsuba&! features a mostly female cast with little to no fan service, as its main character is a child). And a lot of women and girls read shōnen.

Shōjo manga is the counterpart to shōnen: manga written for girls between the ages of 12 and 18. Honestly, shōjo can have its own issues. Some titles feature girls whose identities revolve solely around romance or a desire to get married and make babies. Kidnapping and threats of sexual assault can be normal (the idea being that these girls need to be saved by their boyfriends, who frequently are much older than them). There's a whole slew of manga revolving around schoolgirls having romantic relationships with their teachers. So, I also don't want you to think that being labeled shōjo makes the content automatically appropriate for students.

I recently reread a manga I loved as a teen, Ayashi no Ceres. It featured multiple rather explicit sex scenes and the main character dropping out of school to have a baby. It was an easy decision to select other series over that one, although I still consider it a classic. I leave it to students to select series with those sort of themes at their own pace through alternate pathways such as the public library, bookstores, or manga apps.

However, I do want to point out that shōjo manga is a category in which feminine fantasy and identity is often at the forefront. And while this is the case, there are many shōjo manga which widely appeal to boys. Titles which spring to mind are Escaflowne and Magic Knight Rayearth.

There are other categories as well: seinan (for adult men), josei (for adult women), kodomo (for children), and gekiga (for adults, with a more "artistic" and "literary" reputation). The differentiation between adults and teens has more to do with the difficulty of the Japanese than the content or target demographic. Gekiga is probably the most "different", because it strives to be taken more seriously. (I have a plan to talk more in-depth about each category in their own posts).

Look For Women

When purchasing, if you are looking to move away from the pure moe that is popular among certain titles, I'd suggest looking for women who are mangaka. The likelihood that problematic behavior will be present is lower, and honestly, women creators can always use the boost. Series that are beloved by boys are written by women: Fullmetal Alchemist, Inu-Yasha, and Ranma 1/2 are examples (admittedly, the latter two were both written by Takahashi Rumiko).

Note: I kept this fairly pared down, so if you'd like to know more or have any questions, please don't hesitate to comment. If you would like me to go more in depth on any topic, please let me know, and I will do an expansion in a future blog. I have some deeper dives planned, but if I know of a direction people specifically want me to go, I’ll tackle it.

[sofiasmusings]

15 Things I’ve Learned in 2017

In honor of the approaching new year, I thought it would be appropriate to sum up my year in the lessons that I’ve learned: 

1. Sometimes you just gotta live for yourself.

But this is different from being selfish. It’s about knowing when you should slow down and do things for yourself. It’s a good trait to be able to put others before yourself, such as staying up till 3 am to talk to a distressed friend or bringing food to your friend because they haven’t eaten in 10 hours. But sometimes it gets to the point where you start basing your decisions on someone else, and worrying about how what you do will affect your relationship with that person. It’s those moments when you consistently ignore your own needs to fulfill the needs of others–and it’s worse when the other person can reciprocate but doesn’t. You inevitably burn out. Start learning how to live for yourself sometimes. Slow down and do something for yourself. Whether that’s blocking out some part of your day just to relax and take a nap, or go to that one cafe you’ve been wanting to visit or watching a movie by yourself.

2. People come and go.

But do not worry. And do not blame yourself if they leave. There will be moments where people leave because of something you did, but do not dwell and choose to learn from it. Some friendships will last until death, and some will fade as the years go by. Sometimes people try extremely hard to preserve friendships that don’t necessarily have the same connection as before. There’s a romanticized view of friendships and relationships lasting forever, but the truth is that sometimes they don’t. Things don’t always have to end on a bad note–it’s a natural process. Each of these people influenced your life in some way or another. Sometimes it’s a positive influence and sometimes it’s a negative influence. You’ll get hurt, but it’s okay. Every relationship had a purpose, and it gave you a chance to grow and mature and learn. Hold tight to your friendships, but don’t be distraught if they’re not as strong as they used to be. There are many more people you have yet to meet.

3. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

But that’s okay. I’ve had a lot of trouble with this as someone that is meticulous and plan oriented. Literally everything goes on my calendar or planner, or stored somewhere in the back of my mind. I used to get frustrated when plans didn’t work out…or really when anything didn’t work out. I was distraught when relationships ended because why didn’t they work out no matter how much I wanted them to? Most of the reasons that things don’t work out are out of your control and you just have to accept that it’s just the way it is.

4. Do that thing now instead of putting it off.

This can apply to rather simple things or bigger decisions. I have developed this habit of just leaving clothes that I try on and decide not to wear on my bedroom floor. I also leave bags that I’m done using on the floor, and sometimes I just don’t clean up my desk area when I’m done. It really hit me towards the end of last semester when I came back to my apartment and I could barely see the floor. It felt pretty bad since I am someone who lives for organization. I still do it now and then, where I just leave something out of place or leave the dirty dishes in the sink, but now I make an effort to just backtrack and fold my clothes or wash the dishes. It saves future me a lot of trouble and doesn’t let things pile up. This also goes for slightly more complex tasks like goals or things I plan to do, such as calling doctors to make appointments or calling business to ask questions. This goes for things I plan to do like update my resume or figure out what grad schools/careers I want to go into. And finally this goes for addressing problems in any relationship, such as having a talk with a friend or a significant other. Obviously there won’t always be enough time��sometimes you’ll leave the house at 8 am and come home at 12 am exhausted and held together by the last bit of willpower in your body, but sometimes you will have time. It’s just a matter of using it well.

5. Don’t surround yourself with people who make you feel bad.

Easier said than done, because the fact is that people and relationships are complex. We go back and forth between deciding whether or not we should cut ties with someone because at one point the friendship was good. Yet sometimes the friendship just stops growing. You lose respect for each other, or something happens that you two can’t resolve. Obviously each situation is different but if your mental or physical health is suffering because of someone else, and you can’t resolve it, it’s time to drop them. It may hurt when you drop them which seems counter intuitive at first, but believe me, it’ll help in the long run.

6. Don’t let past experiences/relationships with people ruin future relationships.

I guess this relates more in the romantic aspect. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks, many of which my family and friends could predict before I ever let myself acknowledge the red flags. However, after my last relationship I fell into this way of thinking that every future partner would treat me the way my last partner did. That things would start out great and turn out terribly. That my future partner will react to things the same way that my last partner did. That it’s useless pursuing a future relationship because what’s the point. And who knows, my next relationship may end in terrible heartbreak again, but a big mistake is going into a new relationship and basing your decisions off of your last relationship. This is not to say that you shouldn’t adjust your actions based off of what you learned from your last relationships, but this is saying that your future partner is not your past partner. Learn from the past, but assess each new situation in its new context.

7. Buy a budget book, or find some way to keep track of your money.

With great power comes great responsibility, and money = power. But sometimes it’s easy to let that power get out of hand, or forget just about how much you’re spending. Each trip to your favorite restaurant or online shopping spree definitely adds up. Keeping a budget book has allowed me to see the numbers laid out and keep track of my spending habits (I go to Espresso Royale way more than I think I do) as well as my income. I was excited this past month because I made bank from my two jobs, but I also had to pay some doctors bills that basically drained all my money as well. Keeping these in mind, I was able to adjust my spending habits (stop going to Espresso Royale so much dangit).

8. Appreciate your parents.

This should be a given, although everyone is at a different place in their relationships with their parents. I think my view of my parents have definitely changed over the years. They went from the two people in my life who knew everything, to people that I felt disagreed with me on everything. Now I understand that they’re also growing and learning like me. They’re allowed to make mistakes but ultimately they’ll love you more than you can ever imagine.

9. You always have room to grow.

You’re never done growing. This isn’t only in terms of mastering a skill, but also in general. Sometimes even after you think you’ve seen and experienced it more, life has more in store for you.

10. A good night’s sleep, good meal, and being active goes a long way.

11. Sometimes it’s okay to do the minimum.

I think there’s so much emphasis now on having to put 110% effort into everything that you do, and that if you don’t try the most you can or hard enough, you’re not good enough. While I think it’s great to work hard at what you do, sometime’s it’s okay to do just what you need to do to get by.

12. Be nice.

Be nice because you want to be nice. You shouldn’t do it to be rewarded or gain other peoples favor. Be nice. It’ll go a long way.

13. There will be a factor of luck, but you will also have to work for it.

Sometimes great things will happen or work out because of your hard work. And sometimes they will happen because of luck. And sometimes you won’t be able to tell exactly why something happened. Good things will come in life, but you can’t expect all good things to happen on their own. Work hard, take care of yourself.

14. Don’t be afraid to step outside the box.

This is basically the most cliche piece of evidence but it’s so true. Whether that’s pitching a new idea to your boss or dyeing your hair purple (which turned out pretty okay for me actually), it’s always a good experience to do something out of the ordinary.

15. Acknowledge what you are feeling and try to figure out why you feel that way.

This has helped me a lot recently. Tell yourself it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling, and try to figure out why you’re feeling that certain way. It teaches you a lot about how you react to situations and it gives you something concrete to work with so that you can move on.

[iph2017]

Question of the Week

Who said this?

“If any member of our college of visitors could  justifiably withdraw from this sacred duty it would be myself, who, quadragenis stipendiis jamdudum peractis, have neither vigor of body nor mind left to keep the field; but I will die in the last ditch, and so I hope you will, my friend, as well as our firm breasted brothers and colleagues...Nature will not give you a second life wherein to atone for the omissions of this. Pray then, dear and very dear Sir, do not think of deserting us, but view the sacrifices which seem to stand in your way, as the lesser duties, and such as ought to be postponed to this, the greatest of all. Continue with us in these holy labors, until having seen their accomplishment, we may say with old age ‘Nunc dimittis, Domine.’ Under all circumstances, however, of praise or blame, I shall be affectionately yours.”

--Thomas Jefferson to Joseph C Cabell, January 31, 1821

Presumably the battle had already been won. The land grant passed in 1817, the university charter given in 1819. The University of Virginia was established. Except that the future of the fledgling was very much in doubt. The General Assembly did not want to appropriate a large amount of money to a new University when they already had two other schools to support. Joseph Cabell, Jefferson’s closest ally and champion in the General Assembly, had fought since the early 1810s for the school. The battle took a high toll on Cabell’s health and he wanted to lay down his arms. But Jefferson knew they were not done yet, and persuaded Cabell to keep fighting.

It’s my last day, so please indulge some rambling musings. Apologies in advance. Feel free to skip to the end for the actual tally of all work accomplished this summer.

I found this quote/letter my very first week of the internship and it stuck with me. More so than a regular quote about never giving up, which you often hear in association with when things are looking down, this quote shows the importance of giving 110% even when it seems like you could stop and be proud of what you did. Because what if you could make it even better. What if you could create something which lasts over 200 years. And yes, you “may not live to see our glory” to quote Hamilton (I realize Hamilton and Jefferson were not the best of friends in any sense of the word but it seems appropriate) nor is it about creating a legacy (“planting seeds in a garden you never get to see” pardon my musical obsession). When Jefferson founded the University of Virginia, he had already accomplished so many things, more than most people could ever hope to do. But the thing which he cared most about, and fought so hard for at the end of his life, was the University. It was education for the people.

Jefferson always gets a bad rap, and I’m not trying to give Jefferson a total pass. I’m not going to get into discussions on slavery, or any other topics. Just UVA. The University I love. It certainly looks different today from Jefferson’s original vision (and not just the buildings and layout). It was a school for white men, primarily well off, for most of its history. The first African American Student wasn’t admitted until 1950. The first coed undergraduate class matriculated in 1970. (Although women had been admitted to graduate level programs since the late 1910s and earlier to any level if they were daughters/wives of faculty). The first organization of gay students wasn’t until 1972. Do we wish that the University had always been open and egalitarian towards all? Absolutely. Are there parts of the University’s history we would rather sweep under the rug? Of course. But the trick with history is to figure out the best way to understand it and help others understand. It is not my place to say if Jefferson would approve of UVA now or speculate his opinion of its history. It is my job as a historian to gather and present the relevant material that will enable people to engage with their history and what was happening to cause those events to occurs.

I realize that this is perhaps a little long winded and stream of conscious. So again, I thank you for your patience.

(Funnily enough, me being the history and musical theater fan I am,“Is Anybody There” from 1776 just started playing. Jefferson might appreciate this comparison a little more than the Hamilton reference. But at this point in the song, it looks like independence is not going to happen. John Adams sings of his vision and wants to know if anyone else can see it. With a few changes, this could be Jefferson singing to Cabell about Jefferson’s vision for UVA)

BICENTENNIAL NEWS

Tickets are selling like challah on Thursdays (Shout out to Challah for Hunger). A few weeks ago UVA Today published a quiz about UVA alumni based on some of our research.

This week has mainly focused on cleaning up documents and making sure everything is still accessible after today. Wrote a few more profiles, added/wrote a couple new timelines, started a new notes compilation. The Cornerstone project has also come together nicely, although there is still room for them to add things once I leave.

This summer Caroline and I wrote approximately 72 profiles, 22 timelines, 9 themes/note compilations, 2 lists of event write ups, plus some top secret work for Illimitable. The Illimitable work includes about 30 write ups(quotes, description, and picture). We read over 25 books and countless articles. We interviewed one person for the Cornerstone project. I worked on the Cornerstone project more, adding/editing information and pictures for their StoryMap on UVA staff. We ran discussions at the June all Commission meeting about our work. We attended multiple meetings every week and learned a lot about what goes into putting an event of this scale.

Going forward, our work will be used in the actual events of the Bicentennial launch weekend and other events during the Bicentennial celebration.  A website will be launched containing our timelines and profiles. The Cornerstone project will be revealed in a few months. And of course there is the top secret Illimitable project. Caroline and I plan on remaining involved with the Bicentennial by joining the Commemorating our History division of the Bicentennial Commission. I personally plan on being a member of the documentary team for the Bicentennial. Our work will probably feature in some other ways. Because that’s the thing about history: it’s never truly a thing of the past.

It has been a pleasure and an honor. Thank you,

Colleen

[seriphthefox-blog]

Knox (Original story)

I decided to make a gay fic with my actual fursona, Seriph, and what I believe a love interest for him would be, Knox. This is one that I’m going to actually finish hopefully (considering I’ve written part of three different ones in the past that I never finished). If you enjoy it please let me know and I will be very grateful. Sorry for any misspelling.

(Chapter 1)

I was sound asleep at sometime in the morning I think. Maybe. I don’t know. I say ‘was’ because the sound of knocking on my bedroom door woke me up.

“What?!”

“Get up!”

“Leave me alone Destin!”

I rolled over and pulled the pillow onto my face in an attempt to down out the noise. That didn’t help as his persistence got to me.

“Alright! Just stop!”

I jumped out of bed not bothering to put on a shirt and swung the door open.

“What do you want? And what time is it?”

“C'mon. Get yourself ready.”

“For?”

“Were going out somewhere. And you are gonna get, or at least try to get, somebody.”

“Excuse me?”

“You live in the apartment all alone, not counting me, and you almost never leave the damn building. Not the greatest way to live.”

“I don’t tell you how to live your life, do I?”

“True. But you still should get out of the house. Or apartment rather.”

“God. You sound like my dad.”

“Don’t insult me like that.”

That statement earned a chuckle from me.

“Either way, my girlfriend is coming with us since she’s free for today.”

“Oh great. Now you want to make me depressed.”

“Oh shut up. You’ll find somebody. If you don’t I’ll wear the frilliest dress possible in public.”

“Now that I’d love to see.”

A series of knocks on the door drew his attention away from our banter.

“That must be her.”

He went over and opened the door for her.

“Hey Destin!”

“Alis.”

They shared a hug before she noticed me standing behind him.

“You trying to swoon me now Seriph? You know I’m taken.”, she asked taking in the fact I had no shirt on.

“Are you for real?”

“I’m kidding. Come here you.”

This was Destin’s girlfriend, Alis, if you didn’t already know. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

I shared a quick hug with her as well before I grabbed a shirt from my room.

“So where is it were going anyway?”, I ask as I slip into a deep red t-shirt.

“We’re going to a bar downtown. It opened up only a week or so ago and we wanted to check it out.”

“Sounds nice. I’m in.”

“C'mon you’ve gotta…what?”

“What do you mean what Destin? I said I’m good with it.”

“It’s just that-”

“I usually bitch and moan and then don’t go. I know. Is it really so odd for me to say yes for once?”

“Kinda. But either way I’m glad you’re agreeing for once. Let’s go.”

“Okay. Nobody gave me the time yet.”

“It’s about 7:35 pm.”

“That’s late as hell. And I assume we’re going in your girl’s car?”

“Yep. Unless you want to drive your car.”

“Nah. I’d rather not unless I need to.”

“That makes sense.”

“Are you ladies gonna keep talking or are we gonna go drink?”

“Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to talk too much Alis?”

She playfully swung at me and not surprisingly I moved out of the way.

“Better luck next time sweetheart.”

“I’m gonna get you at some point. Let’s go.” —– We all huddled into her car with me sitting in the back seat which was good so I could at least try and keep my thoughts to myself as Alis drove us to the bar.

“What’s the name of this place anyway?”

“Bibentes I believe. It’s Latin for 'Drinking’ if memory serves from school.”

“That’s a little on the nose don’t you think?”

“Don’t blame her. Blame the people that opened the place.”

“I know. I’m just saying.” —– It took only about 20 minutes to get down to the place. Mainly because we went at a time pretty much everyone was getting off work.

She pulled into the lot and we all entered the venue, quickly being hit with some popular music.

The inside was a lot bigger than I’d expect a bar to be but not the size of a nightclub. Although it did have a dance floor and a dj. So I guess it’s a mini club? I don’t know.

“Nice place.”

“Good. Me and Alis are gonna dance. You can do what you want.”

“Go have fun.”

They buggered off while I sat at the far end of the bar. No sooner had I sat down did a glass plop down front of me.

“Welcome. What can I get you?”

“Something good.”

“I guess that it’s my choice then.”

“I guess so.”

He grabbed one bottle and tossed it in the air before grabbing a drink mixer. He grabbed the bottle by the neck over the mixer filled it a third of the way.

He grabbed two more and juggled them around before pouring a little of each into the mixer.

He covered it and tossed it in the air, spinning around and grabbing a different glass before catching the mixer again. Then he just shook it and poured the concoction into the high ball glass.

“And there you go.”

“Thanks. Nice show too.”

“You’re welcome.”

I through a 20 on the table along with a few singles to pay for my drink. He went off to another customer and I got up from my seat. The thing is that as soon as I turn around I ended up walking into somebody, spilling my drink in the process and falling to the ground.

“Okay. That hurt.”

“I’m sorry. You okay?”

I looked up to see a grey wolf standing over me. He was wearing blue jeans and a light grey, almost white, jacket.

“I’m fine.”

He pulled me up to my feet and I could now see his baby blue eyes a little better.

I quickly noticed the fairly sized stain on his jacket.

“Looks like I ruined your clothes.”

I pointed to the large stain on his chest. I felt kind of guilty about it even though it was an accident.

“It’s nothing. The jacket is only like $10. Besides, I can wash it out.”

“I still feel guilty though.”

“Like I said, it’s okay.”

“Didn’t take you long did it? You jerk.”

I would’ve thought it was Destin if the voice didn’t sound angry and slightly higher pitched. I turned around and what I saw was a white deer, skinny, a year or two younger than me, and dressed in shorts that only girls should probably wear and a purple shirt missing the sleeves.

“What do you care? We broke up remember?”

“Only three days ago you asshole!”

“For your information Lyle I bumped into the guy, ok? Secondly, why would you care? You’re the one who agreed to end the relationship. I didn’t force you to.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to do something like this.”

This isn’t something that needed to happen so I tried to say something.

“Calm down okay. I didn’t know anything about this.”

“Fuck you.”

He took his glass and tried to throw his drink in my face. I ducked and it made a puddle in the ground behind me instead.

“Really? Try harder.”

He threw a punch and I just caught his fist and redirected it causing him to fall.

“Let’s go you.”

I dragged him outside by the collar of his shirt and let him go on the side walk.

“Now get the fuck out of here. And don’t ever try to punch me again.”

I went back inside and the bartender gave me a thankful nod.

I turned my attention back to the wolf.

“And old flame?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s a real piece of work.”

��I know. But when you have someone as cute as him you learn to deal with it. I’m Knox by the way.” He held out his hand.

“Seriph.”

I shook his hand which kind of hurt because of his pretty strong grip.

“So what brings you here Seriph?”

“A friend of mine. Along with his girlfriend.”

“Not a socialist huh?”

“Not really. Or rather not completely. I’ll get out of my apartment by choice when the mood strikes me. Which isn’t too often.”

“I used to be like that when I was wasn’t much younger than I am now. Wasn’t too good for me. But then I met Lyle and we’d been together for a little over three years as of a few days ago.”

“Speaking of which what was that about?”

“We broke up two or three days ago. The love in the relationship kinda fizzled out for me but apparently it hadn’t for him yet. He didn’t take my request to well because he smashed a hole in my wall with tv remote.”

“That’s a thing.”

“Yeah. I fixed it before I came down here tonight so I just have to paint over it now after it drys.”

“Well you can forget about him now. He’s not a problem anymore.”

“Yeah. Thanks for getting him out of here.”

“No problem.”

“So…”

“So what?”

“Were both just standing here. Tell me a little about yourself.”

“There’s not much to tell. I usually sit at home watching tv and doing whatever to make time go by. I’m not really an interesting person. I mean I went to a concert a few weeks ago but that’s about it. How about you?”

“I work here sometimes actually. Today I’m off but I decided to come down here and have a drink. Try to take my mind of Lyle.”

“I guess as security? You’re a sizable person.”

“Yeah. I usually throw out the hooligans that’ll start a problem, like Lyle.”

“He sure was a handful.”

“I know. He’s roughly 110 so he isn’t exactly a lightweight for most people.”

“I get where you’re going with that but all I did was just drag him across the floor. Not exactly that hard.”

“True but anyway to get someone outside works.”

“I guess.”

“Thanks again for helping with Lyle. I usually would deal with him myself but I’m glad you helped.”

“You sound like a broken record.”

“So be it. Anyway here.” He reached into his pocket and produced a pen and piece of paper. After scribbling something down on it he handed it to me. “You’ll know what to do with that. See you around kid.”

“I’m 22 dude.”

“Well you look a little younger. See ya.”

“Bye.”

I stared down at the slip of paper which had a string of numbers on it along with his name in script under it.

My facial expression became confused because what was written on it was his cellphone number. I don’t really understand why he’s give it to me but I can’t dwell on it now. I shoved the paper into my pocket jut before someone called for my attention.

“Hey Seriph.”

“Yo Destin. Are you guys really gonna leave now?”

“I mean we’ve been here for a little over an hour already. Besides there isn’t too much we can do here anyway.”

“Did you guys drink at all?”

“I had one and Destin had a couple.”

“Yoink.” I snagged the keys from her hand, spinning them around my finger. “Then neither of you are driving.”

“Give me my keys.”

“Uh uh. I’m the only one that didn’t drink so I’m driving. And Alis, you’re not driving home either. You’re staying over for the night. Now come on.”

I got into her car and started it before they hopped in as well. —–

We were almost back to my apartment when Alis spoke up for the first time on the way back.

“Hey Seriph?”

“S'up.”

“Did you meet anyone there?”

“No. Why?”

“Because I saw you talking to some guy before we left.”

I slammed in the brakes at the comment. Thankfully there wasn’t any traffic around. Since we were just a block from the building I parked on the side of the road before I gave an answer.

“I’m not allowed to talk to people or something?”

“You can. It’s just that I also saw you throw someone out and they seemed to have a problem with him. What was that?”

“An old friend of his. He explained what happened, he tried to swing at me and I was having none of it. So I dragged his ass out the door. End of story.”

“Okay. I thought something else was going on in that conversation. Like the taller guy was hitting on you or something.”

“Alis, I’m not the best looking fox around. Besides, I’m sure he’d have a better taste in men if I had to take a guess.”

“Maybe. Then again I’m not a guy.”

“Yeah. Now go to sleep the two of you.”

They went to Destin’s room while I dropped onto the couch.

I pulled the slip of paper out and just stared at it.

“I don’t get why he gave me his number. Either way, it’ll be nice to make a friend.”

I put it back in my pocket before I fell asleep.