#I’m becoming a court update blog at this point and I’m not mad about it

[petalsfordany]

Courtney Eaton - Variety Yellowjackets Panel

[msjr0119]

Hold my girl

Part 6- My girl

No one really knows about TRR Main characters past …. Most of this series is based on flashbacks from her childhood. I’ve changed the main characters name to, Freya Johnson as Riley Brooks is used in my other series.

Freya is in love with Drake, but he hasn’t returned the feelings- instead just acts horrible towards her. Will Freya return back to Cordonia with the court or will she stay in the USA after the UN party.

Tags:

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*****

Daniel remembers back to the last time he did something behind Freya’s back. She was so sweet but a psycho when mad. Last time he interfered in her love life she didn’t talk to him for a week, but last time he did punch her cheating boyfriend. This time, he was trying to help Freya’s life by guiding her friends to understand the secret she had kept from them.

“Good job I brought my daggers with me! Why on earth are we at a grave yard? I could be sipping champagne now!” Olivia snapped at Daniel, his eyes widened at her attitude- she scared the shit out of him already.

“Right, erm. Please don’t hurt me Miss Olivia. There’s two ‘people’ I’d like you all to meet.” The gang looked at each, confusion written all over each of their faces. Daniel continued.

“This is Grace and Paul. They were sadly taken away from us eight years ago. Myself and Freya used to come here all the time- but especially on one date. On that date, Freya would write a diary and explain everything that they are missing... myself and Freya came here earlier on before she stood you all up...” As Daniel continued speaking, Liam and Drake bent down and looked at the grave closely.

“Grace and Paul Johnson.” Drake turned to Liam as he said it.

“Her parents..” They both said in unison- as they looked concerned, they stood back up and continued to listen to Daniel.

“... anyway, she finally came here and updated her diary. I can’t believe what all of you have been through- it’s like you’re all staring in reality tv.” Daniel jokingly said to them all. The were like Aliens - not understanding exactly what reality tv was.

Daniel pointed to the diary and read it out to them all. Afterwards he pointed over to each of the photos.

“I hope y’all don’t mind but she put some pictures of her journey with you all and wrote something about each of you. Maybe if you all read them she... she cares for you all. And trust me, she is stubborn so for her to care about so many people is amazing.”

They each picked up their picture with the note attached, they read it out loud to the other friends. Liam began..

You remember when I told you fairytales are silly and only happen in films? Well, little Freya just the waitress actually stared in ‘one of those films’. I met a Prince at our bar one night- the night that I could have killed Dan for leaving me in the shit. His name is Liam. Crown Prince- now King Of Cordonia. For some reason he and three of his friends stumbled into our bar. If you ask me they really chose the shittest place in New York to come for food and drinks.

As the evening went on, I could see Liam’s eyes locked on me. This was kind of intimidating. Why would a stranger keep looking over? I was really ready to kill Daniel now. After closing time, I went out with them all and we had some kind of connection. He was so lovely, charming and someone who would make a great friend. I thought I’d never see him again. When I entered his social season, I instantly fell in love with his personality. He is now classed as my friend. Little Freya having royalty as friends- you was correct to believe in fairytales mom.

This morning, Liam asked me out to breakfast. I didn’t think anything of it so agreed. Instead he took me for a walk near to the Statue of Liberty- we sat on a bench it was full circle, where I had taken him that first night. Liam is a kind man and I know he will find the most perfect Queen, he told me he would have proposed to me. If he had physically asked those four words, I couldn’t say yes. I opened up to him about everything - explaining that I couldn’t return to his country. Suddenly by my surprise, he understood my reasoning - I think and surprised me again by explaining that he was going to offer for me to become a duchess. He has so much faith in me, if I didn’t get my new job I’d have possibly been contemplating this role. He is a young king with a great future ahead of him- I am grateful to have him as a close friend.

Hana. What can I say about Hana. She is absolutely amazing at everything she does. I’m kind of jealous of all the talents she has. Anyone would be lucky to have her, I am privileged to call her my best friend. She is the most kind hearted woman I have ever met, even behind all that shyness. Apart from Maxwell, she was the first friend I made in Cordonia- I actually walked into the boutique and embarrassed her as she was stood in only her underwear. Since then, we keep laughing about the awkwardness on our first meeting. When I returned to Cordonia, she also returned- together we make the A team. We are so different, I tell people the truth about what I think- I defend myself. Where as Hana will play things down to not hurt anyone’s feelings. She has a heart of gold, but damn this girl needs to stop with the low esteem- she is amazing! And I am honoured to call her my best friend.

Maxwell. This man. If I could choose anyone to be my brother, it would be Maxi. His personality is so hyperactive, where does he get this energy from? He’s not a typical Lord- he’s the fun one! I’d need to sup a hundred black coffees before I caught up to him. This man is the reason for my adventure beginning in Cordonia and Europe- if not I’d still be stuck at that shitty bar. Thank you Maxwell. He’s known as the spare heir, thank goodness- I don’t know how he’d cope being head of Beaumont- it would be a disaster due to him enjoying having too much fun. Or maybe that is what a Duke should be like? Maybe his brother is just too uptight? Maxwell is the most sweetest and kindest person I have ever met. He always thinks positive! The way any person should think- he’s a role model to us all with that. Dad you’d have loved Maxwell, he could have shown you how to ‘not dad dance’. Dancing is Max’s forte- but I also taught him how to slut drop- sorry not sorry. Thank you for everything Maxi.

The Scarlett Duchess, Olivia. My god I hated her at first, I’m sure the feeling was mutual if not more. She tried to sabotage my image at court and embarrass me. She is in love with Liam, I honestly think behind all of those layers and daggers- yes I mean real daggers- she would make the best queen for Liam and Cordonia. As our time together has gone by, I have began to love her, she’s sweet but a psycho. And I will continue to try and knock those walls down. Even if Olivia doesn’t want to admit it with her sharp tongue, she is the best friend who will help come through any shit storm with all her determination. I’m a hugger, I’m a lover, she will always refuse to hug back- but one of these days I will get her to do it. Even if she won’t admit it we are FRIENNNDDDSS.

Drake Walker. Known as Liam’s shadow. But there is so much more to this man. When I first met him, he was so laid back, cocky and handsome. Drake has had a hard time, he lost his father like I lost you both. I feel this is one of the connections that draw us close together and the fact that he isn’t noble but also half American. Fate I’d say. Shame he doesn’t feel the same towards me. This man is the most loyal man I’ve met, but such a cynical bastard and a total jerk to me. Like Olivia he has built walls around him and I was determined to knock each and every one down but failed. When I’m around him I feel vulnerable and my heart flutters- he doesn’t know this. I first started to fall for him at Olivia’s duchy, when I followed him out in the snow after defending him- don’t worry I was wrapped up. Drake has always had my back through the shit even if it did take him ages to open up to me. He rescued me when one of the nobles was so close to raping me, that was the first time that he seemed sincere towards me and not a cocky bastard. At that moment I’d fallen hard for him. My feelings towards Drake are uncontrollable- never wanting to leave his side even if he insists that he gets ‘lumbered’ with me. I need to follow my head rather than my heart, I never thought I’d find love until I met Drake. Without him in my life I need to keep occupied. He will always be my jerk best friend.

After Drake finished reading his note, he was shell shocked, her honesty was exactly what he felt towards her. Guilt panged in his heart after making eye contact with Liam. Loyal as he was, he would have never told Liam about his true feelings- the only person that knew was Maxwell. They had been best friends since a young age, he didn’t want a girl to cause friction between them no matter how much they both loved her.

“Li. I- I.. I’m so sorry.”

The friends all looked concerned. Daniel suddenly regretted bringing them here now. He didn’t realise they would read their notes out to each other- just assumed they would read it between themselves and keep quiet. This was one of the worse decisions he had made in his life, he thought.

“Drake.. I- I don’t know what to say. Did you know she felt that way? Do you feel the same?”

“You’re my best friend Li. I knew she had some feelings, she called me her ‘hot date’... I can’t help how I feel about her. I didn’t want to let her know how I feel- I was assuming she would choose you. I text her how I felt, and she never mentioned about it- she must have blocked me or deleted it without reading it. You out of everyone should know how she makes people feel. Shit! I’m so sorry.”

“Would you have told me? If we didn’t find out this way? What if I did propose and she had accepted?”

“Li, I don’t honestly know? I’d have probably left for Texas or to stay with Sav.”

“Drake, this morning I was going to ask her, but I thought I’d mention it first- she remained silent so I knew she didn’t want it, the colour from her face drained. But I understand that people have to follow their hearts. Now it all makes sense, I asked you to keep an eye on her during my social season. I want her in my life. Even if that is as a friend. I love her. I always will do. You’ve never been good with feelings regarding relationships have you?”

“I guess not.”

“Drake Walker, you need to look after her. It’s up to you to convince her to return with us. Don’t ever give up on her, promise?” Liam went to pat drake on the shoulder. Then whispered in his ear, “You have my blessing.”

***************

A moment later, everyone’s phones started buzzing.

Hey guys, sorry I stood you all up. Being back in New York has made me feel sentimental. I hope you all understand that I needed a few hours to myself. I’m safe. Don’t worry about me. I will meet you all at the hotel later on. Freya x

All her friends check their phones and were all relieved that she was fine. They all begin to head back saying bye and thank you to Daniel. Just then Daniel handed an envelope to one of them discreetly. Inside the envelope there was a note

Meet me on your own. I need to talk to you. Daniel will drop you off at the location. Freya x

“Er, I’m just going to walk Daniel back to his car. I’ll see you at the hotel.” They all nodded in unison, as they waved goodbye.

*****

Freya was waiting at the beach taking in the beautiful sight and the cool air swaying her long brown curls. Unaware that her friends stormed into her old bar and gave Daniel abuse about her whereabouts- she felt relaxed.

She kept thinking about her parents, it was so hard being back in New York. All the memories, then thoughts about that person she needed to confide in.

Will that person even come? How am I going to say what I need to say? Should I tell the truth about my past? I know all about everyones past. Why am I so confused about what to do and say?

Daniel arrived at the beach with the one person that Freya wanted to see. Parking up the car, she wanted to talk to them on her own without everyone there and she trusted Daniel to get that person there. The awkward silence was then broken.

“This is where we came that night of the bachelor party.”

Smiling thinking back at the memory of how beautiful she looked when she joined the four men after the bar closed. The green dress made all their eyes go wide.

“Does she know? That we all know about the diary and her parents?” Daniel looked over towards Freya, feeling guilty. Suddenly it dawned on him, wondering how she would react.

“She wanted me to find you after my shift to tell you to come here. I don’t think she expected for you all the storm into the bar looking for her. I.. I shouldn’t have taken you all there and Frey is probably going to kill me. But she poured her feelings out through words and eventually she would have told you all. I’m sure.”

“I feel like such a jerk. As we all do. We all spoke about our lives to her. Opening up about our pasts. And not one of us asked about hers. She just listened to all of us and gave us support and advise. And...”

Daniel smiles. “That’s just it. That’s what Freya is like. She’s been through so much. But she understands that there is someone out there who’s worse off than she is. That’s what makes her the best friend anyone could ask for and a selfless human being.”

They both look at her. She looked beautiful sat on the cliff, watching the waves crash against the soft sand.

“Go and get your girl. She’s waiting. Convince her to not move away.” Daniel said encouragingly- hoping he would follow his advise.

Please just go and get her. You belong together! Don’t waste anymore time.

“I don’t know what to say to her?”

“Be spontaneous. She loves you. She doesn’t need to physically tell anyone- you can see it in her eyes when your name is mentioned. In fact she told you all, in your note where her heart lies. But she is so stubborn to make the first move. I’m going to leave you together. If you need me to pick you up just drop a text.”

“Thanks Daniel. You’re a great friend to Freya and she is lucky to have you.” Daniels pats him on the shoulder and walks back to the car leaving him alone.

Get a grip man! She loves you. You love her. How did I get this lucky to find someone who loves me for who I am? This never happens to someone like me.

He slowly walks towards the cliff to where Freya is sat. Hearing a car drive off, she turned around and saw him in the distance.

“Drake?”

Drake suddenly began running towards her, Freya ran towards him. When they got within arms reach, Drake picked her up and spun her around. His eyes never leaving hers. When he lowered her down, his hand brushed through her hair. Cupping her cheeks he was desperate to kiss her, but prevented it. He didn’t want to hurt her again.

“Hey!” Freya said as she smiled relieved that Daniel had brought him to her.

“ είσαι όμορφη αγάπη μου! I’ve missed you!”

What language is that? He sounds so sexy. He could have said anything. Shit this is frustrating what did he say?

“You’ve missed me? I’ve missed you too Walker. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you all. I just needed to clear my mind. I need to talk to you.”

“Please let me talk first?”

“Sure.”

“Jono, Freya. I was such a jerk when we first met. I just didn’t want to you know how I felt about you. You were Liam’s suitor. I didn’t want to let my feelings get hurt. Yeah, yeah I’m a total marshmallow before you say it.”

“I wasn’t- well maybe?” She laughed. Her gaze never left his eyes.

“Anyway... I just wanted to say... Σε αγαπώ.” Drake could see confusion written across Freya’s face, before beginning to laugh.

Freya and Hana excel in everything they do. That is probably why they are best friends. But I bet neither can speak Greek- she has no clue what I’m saying, according to her face expression. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if Hana was fluent in Greek too. This is cruel Walker. Just tell her you love her.

“I love you Freya Johnson. I started falling for you at Lythikos too. I realised I’d fallen in love with you when I thought I’d lost you after you was dragged out of the Coronation ball.”

Lythikos too? How does he know? Daniel!

Come on Freya, I feel like a dickhead if you don’t say anything back. Have I said too much? Shit.

“I love you too Drake. I always have and I always will but....”

“Please don’t stay here. Come back with us. I know I’ve been a jerk. I know I always said I got ‘lumbered’ with you but deep down I was glad. I sent you a text I don’t think you received it. I confessed everything after I hurt your arm. Is it okay?”

“Yeah it’s fine. I got it. I just didn’t read it fully.” Feeling guilty, she retrieved her phone out of her pocket and read it eventually. Her eyes widened at his honestly, before she began to cry. “I’m sorry I didn’t read it, I was tired. I was getting ready for the wedding shower. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know? I honestly don’t know. I know I have a funny way of showing it but I do care about you- a lot. I’m sorry for all the hurt I caused you. I've been waiting for you, to come around and tell me the truth, ‘bout everything that you're going through, my girl you've got nothing to lose.”

“You’re an arsehole, you know that? Maybe I’d have told you the truth before, if you was nice to me.” Playfully nudging him, she smiled properly for the first time in a while- Drake noticed this too.

“I can be an ass. I can also be loving. Freya, if you’ll have me I’m yours.” Holding her hands, he hoped he wasn’t too late and she would stay with them all.

“You want me? As in us become a couple?” Looking into his eyes, she needed reassurance- she had never seen Drake look this vulnerable before. Cupping her cheeks, his thumb brushed over them, she inhaled his scent. Her heart began to flutter uncontrollably. Shit Vegas.

“I do.” Standing on her tiptoes, she desperately wanted to kiss the man she had been fantasying over ever since meeting him. Placing her arms around his neck, she pulled him down to her level. Their lips almost touching- Drake decided to take the risk and finally kiss the girl he had hidden his feelings about.

“Can I hold my girl?”

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: The Clock King

Hi, guys! Gee, it’s been a while! For another week or two, doing these blogs are going to be incredibly difficult to accomplish. It’s the last two weeks of my school semester, meaning that it’s crunch time. Overall, school has kept me so busy that watching the episodes has been doable, but writing about them has been a huge problem. It sucks, because doing this blog and venting my thoughts is incredibly satisfying. To be honest, if I didn’t include screenshots and captions for most of them (like how I used to do things), these posts would likely still be coming out regularly. But they are a lot of extra work. It more than doubles the creation-time, believe it or not. It is work that is worth it, mind you, it adds a massive leap in awesome-factor. But I just don’t have time for it at the moment. I have watched up to Robin’s Reckoning as of the moment I type this. Because of how far ahead that is without actually writing anything about those episodes, it’s going to be hard to write meaningful blog posts about them, simply due to the episodes not being as fresh in my mind. I will try to rewatch them (or at the very least skim through them and read about them). I’m in a bit of a rut. I didn’t want to stop watching episodes entirely, because I’d like to get through the DC Animated Universe in a somewhat timely manner (I’d watch an episode per night if only I could). Luckily, after the 10th of May I should be back at it in full. I’m likely way more excited about it than you are, but hey, I’m mainly doing this for me (with a hearty “welcome” to anyone who happens to discover and enjoy these along the way). Just figured I’d keep any readers updated! This is the last post for the next couple of weeks. I’ll check in soon! In the mean time…

“Thirty-seven pages? That would take a copier exactly one minute and forty-nine seconds. One more delay like this and you're fired!”

Episode: 25 Robin: No Writer: David Wise Director: Kevin Altieri Animator: Sunrise Airdate: September 21, 1992 Grade: B

So lately I’ve been watching these episodes using my Blu Ray copy, and receiving the screenshots from my DVD copy. There hasn’t been too much for variance, aside from one looking obviously better, but The Clock King is an example of a pretty drastic difference in how two episodes can be presented. The Blu Ray copy is much brighter than the DVD copy, and while that does allow us to see what is going on a little bit better in dark scenes such as when Batman and Temple Fugate face off inside the clock, it also makes other scenes uncharacteristically bright, and honestly a little bit tacky. Seeing Batman walking around in broad daylight is odd enough, but when you further get rid of the illusion of how cool he looks by upping the exposure an additional amount, it makes him look really out of place. In the series bible, I can see why they wanted to keep Batman only appearing after dark. In the real world, it would be a lot easier to see Batman as a normal guy in a dorky Halloween costume when not cloaked in the shadows or when the ability to see him before he attacks is present. Of course, this isn’t saying that if Batman were to see trouble during daylight that he should just ignore it. It makes sense to break the rule sometimes, and it’s not even a problem to me in this episode, I just don’t think that the remastering of the Blu Ray release does it any favors in this case. The brightness also brings out the budget, revealing a whole lot of bland blues, grays, and browns. These colors have not been shy since the beginning, but there is no disguising them this time.

Fugate is a villain who’s main flaw is not only how obsessive-compulsive he gets about his schedule, keeping track of things, being on time, etc, but also the fact that he extends this to other people. He expects them to fall in line with his standards. For example, he keeps track of how long he and Mayor Hill have been taking the subway together, and expects Hill to know his name just from that. Also, his employee/intern who brings him a stack of papers too slowly for his standards, because apparently a photocopier should only take “one minute and forty-nine seconds” on that particular stack. And then, the biggest one of all, when he expects Mayor Hill to immediately know the significance of the time 3:15. This is the time that Hill suggested Fugate go on his coffee break, indirectly leading to Fugate losing the court case, ruining his life and creating the Clock King. But this was seven years prior! If someone came up to you and went, “1:47!” would you have any idea what they were talking about? Sure, a lot of things have happened at 1:47, maybe even some significant things, but as far as what they are, most people probably do not keep track. Another theme that I noticed was the idea of hindsight. Have you ever been in a situation where you gave someone a mere suggestion, they willingly took it, and then when something happened to ruin it, they blame you and insist that they knew it was a bad idea? Right, of course in hindsight it’s easy to say that, but truth is, neither of you saw the consequences coming! On top of that, any bad things that happened were completely unrelated to what you suggested, and luck just did not happen to line up. Maybe if Fugate hadn’t gone on that coffee break at a different time than usual, something else would have happened (not to get Final Destination-y on you). Point is, Fugate is completely missing the mark by staying mad at Mayor Hill for that long, and it’s like the old saying goes, “Shit happens.” Ironically, for a man so precise and knowledgable when to comes to all things time and clock related, looking back in time without heavy distortion does not seem to be something he is capable of doing in this case.

The main thing I liked about this episode (as I think a lot of people did) was its incredibly cruel nature. Just how mean to a guy can the writers be? “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy”. That’s a Joker quote (taken from The Killing Joke), and it’s something I think about from time to time. I often wonder how much is between a rational brain and a completely irrational one. How much subconscious effort does being sane take? What’s keeping any of us from letting go and succumbing to the lunacy? Do our minds even work that way? Well, I sure as hell don’t know. And nobody worry, I’m not even the least bit afraid of snapping or anything, hahaha. It probably greatly varies from person to person as far as what would be enough to drive them crazy. In Temple Fugate’s case, it was a lot less than it would take for the majority of us. But this is hammered home by the drama of him being late to court. The bloody browns, dramatic shadows, and violent ticks of a clock do not necessarily represent how Fugate sees the situation, but they are there to represent how the situation affects him. If we were to be affected like him, this is how we would have to experience the situation. After all, everything is relative. This is juxtaposed brilliantly by the prior scene where birds are chirping and the sun is shining. Fugate seems like an alien trying to act casually as he struggles to relax for those few seconds. This is also more from our point of view than Fugate’s. These two scenes being back to back make us feel confused and baffled over our villain, all while allowing us to understand him completely. To me, understanding does not necessarily mean that something makes sense to us. Understanding is knowing the why. But, as an analogy, someone can tell me why they like the taste of zucchini. But that doesn’t make it any more clear to me those reasons can be enough for someone can like it. It just is what it is, and the bottom line is that all of our realities are different. For Temple Fugate, this is an unfortunate reality.

The producers of Batman set a goal of having a crazy set piece at the third act of every episode. They wanted it to aid in the excitement and to be memorable. I’m pretty sure not all episodes did this (it would become formulaic is abused), but this, along with Prophecy of Doom are the two that come to mind as demonstrators of this concept. Unfortunately, the animation lacks the spark that it needs. Luckily The Clock King wasn’t infected by Atom disease, and so the climax downright corny like Prophecy of Doom, and seeing the inside of the clock was neat, but… It wasn’t beyond just neat. I wish we got a bigger sense of scale, seeing further to the bottom of the clock, and maybe getting some better angles along with quicker action. I wanted a sense of height like what Mayor Hill was experiencing from the outside, as he was tied to the clock-hand. Plus just better fighting. It was such a tease of an action scene. I wanted to be at the edge of my seat, but feeling that way would require forcing it. And I just don’t have that kind of energy, man. Sunrise tried, they really did. The scene (and the whole episode in general) looks passable. But the blandness holds it back. It’s like eating the macaroni and cheese from my college. It’s mac and friggin’ cheese. So of course it’s going to be edible. Of course I’m going to like it. But where is the usual flavor? Where is the element that I usually am head-over-heels for? I can make vague comments about what it’s missing or what I would personally do to make it better. But probably the most firm statement I can really make is only, “Just do it better next time.”

I feel bad for people like this. We’ve all met them. They hold themselves (and others) to an impossibly high standard. Think about how much energy that must use.

The shock of Fugate hitting his coffee break at an odd time. She’s worked with him a long time. 

Batman’s idea of a nice, sunny day. As noted, it’s brighter on the Blu Ray. One of the scenes where the brightness adds to it. That tree is casting a shadow, but it almost looks like the clock is the one causing it...

The Blu Ray variant.

Great stuff! The tick of a clock gets louder and louder through the scene. 

“Then perhaps this will teach you to be on time for a change.” This line holds so much weight, as to someone like Fugate, it cements the idea that one moment of leniency was one too many.

This drawing could have been a little more grotesque, but not bad!

“I take it taxi-drivers are no longer required to obey traffic signs.”

I find it a little whacky that Bruce Wayne noticed trouble from way down on the streets.

Bruce going through that car was animated incredibly strangely. It looked like he entered the car, but then it looked like he emerged from behind it. But anyway, maybe this was a Superman homage? In one of the Superman movies, he walked through a car and emerged completely changed. Batman doesn’t have that amount of speed, so maybe this is kind of like his version of it. In the shadows, where he belongs. 

Wow, ugly screenshot. But see how odd it is to see Batman in the daylight?

Again, here is the Blu Ray version. And on a much better frame. 

Why he didn’t hurl the explosive directly at Batman is beyond me. He just kinda threw it into the distance. Maybe as a warning (much like Walter White vs Tuco for any Breaking Bad fans). 

See what I mean by blandness so far? A little more style would have gone a long way.

What an awful way to die this would be. Split in half by two hands of a giant clock. Imagine the impact this would have on Gotham if it had have worked. 

A few bits from inside the clock, including Fugate’s apparent death. But Batman doesn’t seem to think he’s gone... Some of these drawings of gears frankly suck. The line-work just isn’t there. This episode felt like a Twilight Zone episode, I’ve gotta say. I think it had to do with the personality of the villain along with some of the events that happened. Batman and Twilight Zone... Now there’s a crossover with possible potential...

Char’s grade: B Next time: Appointment in Crime Alley

Full episode list here!

[davewakeman]

Talking Tickets: 21 February 2020--MLB! NBA! NHL! And More!

Hey everybody! 

How’s your week? Let me know!

If you haven’t had a chance to fill out my short survey yet, I’d appreciate it if you’d take 3-4 minutes to share your thoughts and ideas so that I can make sure this newsletter and the podcast continue to deliver value to y’all.

Anytime you want to say hello or share something with me, you can always reply to this email…you definitely will get a response from a live human.

To the tickets!

————————————————————————————————————

1. MLB continues to struggle to put the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal in the rearview mirror:

My frustration with baseball is that they just are always on the back foot to use a soccer term.

This week really highlighted the challenge that is going to have for the game to ever right its ship.

I know they report that they are making more money than ever, but from an attendance standpoint, reporting tickets distributed while Twitter is showing you stadiums sitting there with 3,000-5,000 fans a lot of nights isn’t a great look.

Compare MLB’s reaction to the Astros scandal with the way that Man City’sbreach of Financial Fair Play in Europe is being handled and you see a leadership gap, which hasn’t been helped by the Rob Manfred trying to throw the blame everywhere but his office.

From a marketing standpoint, a tough situation, selling baseball in a crowded market, has gotten more difficult.

I’ll type up some more thoughts about this on my blog, but here are a few actionable things:

1. Stop digging. Rob Manfred’s PR team shouldn’t keep running him out there if he is just saying the same things. If you find yourself in a PR crisis, please don’t just start saying crazy things.

2. Step back and focus on how you are going to move forward. Just speaking about the scandal in the past tense isn’t very effective. You have to have a clear plan for moving forward.

In any organization, change begins by sharing a compelling vision for the future. This is obviously a challenge for MLB and all the teams, not just the ones directly implicated in the scandal. The teams need some leadership and a vision for how this ends and how the game gets back on the front foot, their partners and sponsors need this, and their fans and customers deserve it.

3. I’ve worked with teams that have won the World Series and one of the coolest things from my teenage years was making friends with a member of the World Series winning Big Red Machine teams and going over to my friend’s house to see his replica trophies.

Don’t slag on your trophies, ever. Those trophies represent much of the power and emotional connection your fans have to your sport and if you are crapping on that, why are people supposed to even care?

2. The NBA is seeing some financial challenges from their dust-up with China:

I’ve had the flu this week and I haven’t had the voice to record the intro to a new, updated episode with Greg Turner about doing business in China, but if you can make out anything from the first episode, it would be how this was to be expected. (Technical difficulties due to the firewall in China’s internets caused the first episode to be a big disjointed.)

It seems like the NBA is reporting taking about a 4% hit on revenue this year due to standing up for their beliefs in dealing with China.

In a world where brands are all shouting about how “cause marketing” is so important, real cause marketing means you put your bottom line on the line. The NBA did that, on purpose or not.

To me, the more problematic situation that the NBA is facing right now is a ratings slump at the local level with the Warriors falling 66% and the average team down 13%. Which mirror a slump in the NBA’s ratings this year despite a jump in viewership for this year’s All-Star Game.

Right now, we see the NFL rushing to finish up a new labor deal so that they can negotiate their next round of TV deals while extreme premiums are still likely to be had.

My concern is that losing ratings for a season isn’t going to harm the NBA too much, but if the trend of NBA viewing continues to lag, the issues in China become a multi-year challenge, and maybe you have some more injuries, retirements, or other on-court issues…the revenue becomes challenged. And, that trickles down to raising ticket prices, concessions, and merchandise to levels that to higher levels than they are now.

I mean, you’re already seeing in New Orleans with Zion.

As we’ve seen since the online shopping has become so prominent, we have trained consumers to wait and shop for deals. We’ve also seen an entire generation of marketers and business folks that have become almost blindly committed to managing by spreadsheet while consumer spending on experiences has increased dramatically.

TV viewership is a fickle beast. Live by the sword, die by the sword…I guess.

The real focus here has to be on creating communities of fans around teams, communities, stories, and experiences. These can absolutely happen online and offline.

P.S. The NHL is having hiccups as well. This can be even more problematic because the NHL probably would benefit from more television exposure.

3. Rage Against The Machine is raising money for charity and taking on the secondary market: 

I’m going to guess that the Rage Against The Machine tour is going to be interesting. It is their first tour in a decade. It is an election year. It seems like a perfect storm for them, yeah?

This idea that Rage is going to thwart the secondary market would seem consistent with their ethos. Raising money for charities also seems on brand.

Where the big challenge comes in, is whether or not the charity pricing aspect was explained clearly at the start.

Pearl Jam does a similar thing with their charity tickets that support their Vitalogy Foundation. They handle it slightly differently, which I think helps with the messaging and the fan blowback.

To me, this is just a situation where if you have a fan base and you can sell the tickets directly with no issues at all, sell. But today’s consumer also has a higher expectation of transparency…so that if you are going to institute a charity program like Rage to fight the secondary market, just share that at the start.

BTW, where did Tom Morello get his “85% of the secondary market” comment anyway?

And, Don Vaccaro and TicketNetwork have committed to donating all their service fees from the first 3 shows in March to National Action Network, the civil-rights organization founded by the Reverend Al Sharpton.

4. Congress is going to continue to investigate the world of tickets: 

Just as I trying to close out this week’s newsletter, this news came down the pipe. So, on February 26th, 2020, Congress is going to hold a hearing on tickets.

This comes on the heels of a letter being released that Pearl Jam sent to Representative Frank Pallone Jr on Wednesday saying that the BOSS act will hurt consumers and pointing to transferability and transparency of the number of tickets being on sale would be bad for consumers.

After the release of Pearl Jam’s letter, Bill Pascrell sent out a release of his own rejecting Pearl Jam’s feedback on the BOSS act.

This continued investigation of the ticket business is a global trend. Last week, I talked about the CMA in the UK halting the Viagogo & StubHub merger due to their concerns, even as the US government approved the deal despite these objections.

And, this week, news out of Australia shows that people are rallying around an Information Standard in regards to the secondary market.

Along with the UK government stating they will investigate the illegal resale of football tickets in the UK after a report in the Guardian uncovered the ins and outs of massive football ticket resale.

As for how do you approach this story:

* Pay attention to what comes out of next week’s hearing. I stated at the time of the workshop in June of 2019 that I felt like this would be an issue that would hang over the industry through the election because it is easy for both sides to beat down on ticket sellers, technology companies, resellers, and everyone involved in the industry directly or indirectly. Fun for the whole family.

* I’d also pay attention to what gets defined as “consumer” friendly. I’m on the side of giving Pearl Jam the benefit of the doubt. They’ve worked pretty hard and taken steps that definitely haven’t been in their own best interests to do what was right for their fans, but I’m also conscious of unintended consequences.

5. Red Bull shows how to grow a team from the ground up: 

RB Leipzig beat Spurs 1-0 on Wednesday! (Just adding to the suffering of having the flu. You think Dele was mad…try watching a poor showing while barely keeping your eyes open and feeling like reheated death!)

But this story is really great in the context of the continuing story of the Astros scandal in the States, Man City in Europe, and Thursday’s news of the arrest of PSG’s president for bribery.

Closer to home for me, it highlights what is possible with vision as the Mets are for sale and the sale has started to have its own amount of drama…and, as the Knicks continue to struggle at MSG.

3 things here:

1. Vision is so important. Melbourne FC just released a plan this week for their fans. It was called out on Australian radio, but without a plan and a vision…you don’t ever reach your potential.

2. Winning matters, but community is powerful. I’ve given this speech on 3 continents now…but you can’t just sell winning, you need to build a community. Leipzig is showing that now and we can see in a lot of places that there is a thing like winning fatigue. Or, in the case of the Warriors, a new arena and a lot of winning aren’t going to fix a bad season in every case.

3. Marketing matters: Red Bull’s involvement in sports and the way they have managed their teams shows that they understand the value of marketing and they understand that great brands, teams, and organizations aren’t built in a day.

While their teams haven’t been successful 100% of the time, they have been consistent and have continued to focus on their vision, their values, and their message over and over. That’s something we can all learn from. —————————————————————————————————————-

What am I up to this week?

I’ve got a couple of webinars coming up this week starting with Wednesday’s visit of my ebook created in partnership with Booking Protect: What Matters In Ticketing Now.  Sign up for the webinar and learn ideas, trends, and actions that you can take to put these insights to work for your business. 

On Thursday, I’m turning my eye to sales by putting together: The Language of the Sale–10 Ways To Use Language More Effectively In Your Sales Process. This is built on the last 6-9 months of sales training I’ve done with teams around the world and this one will be fast and actionable for your team as soon as you get through with the webinar.

Check out the podcast archives: new episodes coming this week now that my voice is coming back. If you have suggestions for guests and the podcast, fill out the survey at the top of the page. 

Please follow and like us:

Talking Tickets: 21 February 2020–MLB! NBA! NHL! And More! was originally published on Wakeman Consulting Group

[12izzy3]

Webcomic Recommendations No One Asked For:

I......... Spent 2 hours putting together a list of my webcomic recommendations, with summaries and reviews, because I was reworking my blog... And really I don’t think anyone ever goes directly on to my blog proper, so it feels kind of foolish to have that there where no one will see it, so I’m actually going to post it as well:

Webcomics are honestly just so tight, and there’s such a vast variety of them that there’s something for everyone, if not a few somethings for everyone! I’m personally all about indie games, but if there’s another indie market that I feel like the internet has created a space for it’s comics. After I started writing this I realized I have a uh… Lot of recommendations. Also, I may be an idiot for not using the author’s own summaries???

Regularly updating:

KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS - A comic about a college girl, Allison, given mystical powers beyond her understanding, and thrust into a celestial world filled with angels and demons, where the lines of good and evil are blurry at best. With the help of friends she meets along the way, she must navigate her new powers, and save her boyfriend from forces that would destroy existence. Kinda dark thematically (with very rare and minor gore), but a great comic if you love action, fantasy, and fantastic art. One of my favorites.

AWFUL HOSPITAL - Another one of my favorites. After her child becomes terribly sick, and doctors tell her that there’s nothing that they can do, a mother wakes up in a mysterious, otherworldly hospital. She must navigate this confusing and sometimes horrifying hospital to save her child and get home, and on the way, she makes many odd friends and unknowable enemies, and learns that her child’s sickness may be part of something larger. This comic is funny, has cool action, a unique format, and lots of great, though ghastly, character designs.

GUNNERKRIGG COURT - A coming of age story about two girls, Antimony and Kat, as they try to find their place in each other’s lives, and the two clashing worlds that surround them, the massive technological complex that is their school and home, Gunnerkrigg Court, and the forest across the river, where magic and fantastic creatures thrive, under the watchful eye of the trickster god Coyote. Another great one for if you like fantasy, but is usually a lot lighter, with a peak of intensity about equal to… Like, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, I think. I’ve only gotten into this one pretty recently, but it’s good.

PARANATURAL - After his family moves to his dad’s old home town, Max discovers that he has magical powers, and becomes part of the Paranatural Activities club at his school, a group of students and their adviser who all have magical powers, and use them to protect the populace from ghosts, as well as investigate the many magical mysteries of the town. This comic is great, and mostly focuses on action and comedy. The art is a very colorful cartoony style, and the characters are drawn very… fluid, rubbery. The best way to put it is that the artist has really put a lot of effort into making characters consistently as expressive as possible, and that good old Disney/Looney Toons/Tom & Jerry stretchiness makes for very good visual comedy.

HOUSEPETS! - Another one of the earliest webcomics I ever read! Housepets is… largely a comedy comic, following the lives of anthropomorphized pets in a small neighborhood. They go on adventures, and live the fun yet complicated lives of an open society of people with unbelievable amounts of free time. However, sometimes there are bigger drama/adventure arcs, which are really good! A lot of the times amazing art or cool action are what draw me into adventure stories, but I just think the plot of this comic can be really good and surprisingly deep for a humor comic. And it’s still loose enough, and in the newspaper comic style that you can usually jump in very often (not every strip, mind you but in pretty small arcs) without feeling like you’ve missed a ton. Long too, lots to read, recommend.

STAND STILL STAY SILENT - SSSS is a comic that takes place 90 years after the end of the world. A zombie-like virus with strong mystical qualities has wiped out not just human, but much of the world’s mammalian life. In Scandinavia (Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Finland, and Denmark), in spite of the virus, society continues to exist, and most people live normal, happy lives. Our comic follows a research team, formed on a hairstring budget to travel into the infected zone, collect information on the virus and state of the fauna there, and, secretly, to collect books to sell back home. A great fantasy adventure drama that updates very often, and has really good art.

CUCUMBER QUEST - In spite of order this is actually the last one I’m writing, and I’m tired, so I’m going to copy the book one summary from Amazon:

What happens when an evil queen gets her hands on an ancient force of destruction? World domination, obviously. The seven kingdoms of Dreamside need a legendary hero. Instead, they’ll have to settle for Cucumber, a nerdy magician who just wants to go to school. As destiny would have it, he and his way more heroic sister, Almond, must now seek the Dream Sword, the only weapon powerful enough to defeat Queen Cordelia’s Nightmare Knight. Can these bunny siblings really save the world in its darkest hour? Sure, why not?

Cucumber Quest is good, the art is colorful and bright, all of the characters are relatable and real, including the villains, there’s cool adventures sequences and plot, and it’s a very fun comic. There’s humor and love and struggle in the comic, and it’s very well done.

GIRL GENIUS - Girl Genius follows Agatha Heterodyne, up and coming mad scientist, on her many adventures to save herself, her friends and the world if it’s along the way. It’s hard, however, competing with an entire world of mad scientists, as well as the Heterodyne legacy, one filled with chaos and bloodshed up until recently. I like Girl Genius a lot. It doesn’t move through the story very fast, but there’s a lot of solid world building, and more importantly, very intriguing sci-fi action and adventure happening inside of that world! I’m also pretty sure they do a radio show or podcast or something with additional Agatha adventures on top of the comic.

SUPERNORMAL STEP - After leading a life as a drifter after the death of her father, Fae is pulled into an alternate world where magic is real. There, she tries to find her place in life, master the magic that the world around her runs on, and get home to plain old earth in one piece. Lots of cool action, every character has really got their own style of magic. I can honestly tell you that it’s good, but I read it over such a long period of time that it’s got a pretty vague impression in my head.

ATOMIC ROBO - Robo is a skilled an dedicated scientist. He’s also an atomic robot built and raised by Nikola Tesla. Atomic Robo follows the titular character on the many adventures of his life, from WWII to the present. As the head of Tesladyne Industries, Robo is dedicated to researching the outlandish, the weird, the impossible! And when the world calls on him, he and his Action Scientists defend it from giant monsters, cosmic anomalies, and mad science. Atomic Robo is great if you love action, robots, monsters, humor, and velociraptors duel-wielding uzis. Highly recommended.

DUMBING OF AGE - As the title would imply, Dumbing Of Age is a pretty standard coming of age comedy! Starring a wide cast of likable and complex character, DoA follows a group of college freshmen as they learn more about themselves, and grow beyond the bubbles that they were raised in. I think the underpinnings of the comic are pretty strongly on humor, but there’s a lot of drama, and conversations about meaningful things too. There are lots of varying depictions of drama, depression, anxiety, and the ways people deal with pressure, and fear. But there’s also a lot of love and friendliness. It’s a good comic, and probably the only solid slice-of-life on my list.

MANLY GUYS DOING MANLY THINGS - This comic follows The Commander, a bio-engineered super soldier sent back in time to run a temp agency. This particular temp agency specializes in reintroducing particularly brutish video game, comic, and movie protagonists back into normal polite society. Duke Nukem isn’t much of a man for customer service, however. Later on the comic drifts more toward Commander’s personal life. (So slice of life, but with a buff, and actually surprisingly sensitive and forward thinking, super commando from the future.) Has been in a bit of a slump in terms of updates recently, but they still happen.

GRRL POWER - Sidney, a slightly hyper nerd who works at a comic shop, stumbles upon an artifact that gives her a variety of superpowers. After being exposed, she becomes a member of the government’s brand new super hero organization. This comic is a lot of fun, with some cool superpowers and super fights. Lots of humor, very consistently, in any given scene. Sadly, it is a bit fan service-y, though in the grand scale of things it’s not the worst offender (though definitely the worst you’ll see on this list).

SWORD INTERVAL - This is a pretty new one for me, but it’s great. At some indeterminate point in the past (potentially as far back as the civil war, if not farther), the earth became exposed to monsters and magic in ways that it wasn’t before. Humanity still exists and survives, but plagued by supernatural forces. Our main character is Fall, a very new monster hunter, who after years in witness protection, has decided to track down and kill the Hierophant, the powerful monster that killed her parents. Sword interval does a lot of really cool fantasy stuff, with new takes on classic monsters, and magic and monsters in settings that we don’t often see them in, out in the open in present day. It’s something I wish we could see more. Good action and art, particularly character design.

BACK - Abigail is back. From the dead? From a very long sleep in a box underground? She doesn’t know either. She doesn’t know a lot of things. What she does know is that she’s got two guns, is nearly indestructible, and is prophesied to go north to the capital and end the world. With the help of the young cleric Michael, who supplements her absolute lack of all knowledge and common sense, Abigail fights her way through the kingdom, and past the kings many superpowered deputies. Back is cool, back is funny, and sometimes has some good action. I wouldn’t consider it one of my favorites, but it’s a comic I started and I’ve kept up with, so that’s saying something.

MARE INTERNUM - Not very long yet, and I only recently read it, but Mare Internum is really good. I don’t want to spoil it too much, honestly, especially because it’s so short, but it’s a sci-fi adventure comic about being trapped, underground, on Mars, and finding life there. The art is great, the story so far is well written, and the dialogue is good. I really don’t want to spoil it, but there are some great concepts in it and you should read it.

OPHIUCHUS - A very new comic about an ancient stone guardian who is whisked away to another, far off world. Here, he is employed to help two of this world’s denizens defeat the blight that has corrupted and destroyed their once almost utopian world. The art for this is really good. The comic is not currently long enough to comment on much else, but it seems interesting, sci-fi with a touch of fantasy.

Slowly Updating:

AVA’S DEMON - Ava’s Demon is about a girl, Ava who has spent her entire young life haunted by a ghost that torments her, before finally making a deal. The ghost, Wrathia, will help her become a normal girl, with friends and a normal life, but first, Ava must track down the ghosts of Wrathia’s most powerful allies, and help her dissolve the massive interplanetary empire that is TITAN. Ava’s Demon is amazing. The story is good, but I think the comic’s greatest strength is absolutely stunning and polished art. Strong recommendation.

THE PROPERTY OF HATE - RGB is a self-described monster, a sharp dressed man with a TV for a head. However, he’s looking for a hero to guide on a quest. RGB whisks our young protagonist, the Hero, to a world that exists beside our own a world completely fueled and inhabited by our creativity, our stories. RGB protects the Hero from these dangers, guiding her on a mission unknown, through a world that, although mystical, seems to have lost its hope.

HE IS A GOOD BOY - Slow but large updates. This comic follows the life a sentient acorn, Crange, after the death of his parent (a tree) to a lumberjack. Crange is kind of a bit of a loser, and stumbles around his world of sentient rocks and bugs getting into all sorts of trouble and hijinks. These hijinks almost always result in someone’s death, which Crange is impressively unphased by. HIAGB is fantastic, in my opinion. The art is great, the humor is great, especially the visual comedy, and the story is good. However, it gets real dark, and gory. But if you’re fine with that, it IS a (dark) comedy comic, and a good one.

THE LAST HALLOWEEN - One Halloween, the darkness opens up, and monsters pour out from the seams between our world and theirs. Approximately 7 billion monsters, in fact. Mona, a young girl and horror fanatic finds herself thrown into a world of chaos and horror, on the run from her own monster, and forced to look for a way to save the world, with the help of ghosts, zombies, vampires, and even monsters themselves. In spite of the fact that this comic can be VERY dark, I think one of its big hooks is humor and likable characters, on top of great art and plot. I really like it. This comic maybeshouldn’t be on the slow update list, but the artist is just picking up speed after a long hiatus, so…

ROMANTICALLY APOCALYPTIC - The apocalypse happened, and Charles Snippy missed it. Humanity was wiped out in a war against it’s own, ever-present AI, and Charles Snippy, a scientist/tour guide without the implants made it out alive, only to wander alone this is until he meets Zee Captain, an ever positive, gender question mark, maniac who wanders the wasteland with their insane assistant Pilot. Snippy, Captain and Pilot wander the wasteland, facing off against monsters, raiders, and the laws of physics in a mind warping and illogical adventure.

On Hiatus:

DERELICT - Like a surprisingly large number of comics on this list, in Derelict, the world has ended. A strange Miasma travels the world, killing billions, and bringing with it gargoyle-like monsters who fear the daylight. However, the world goes on, in a small, broken way, and our story follows a scavenger in this new world.

HELVETICA - So, you die, and then what? Well, life goes on. This is what Helvetica learns, after he dies and reemerges into an afterlife that seems shockingly similar to the world of the living, with work, pressure, responsibility, danger, and just plain old boring life. Except everyone is a skeleton. Helvetica is very resistant to accept this new life in death. This one is pretty short so far, and hasn’t updated in a while, but it’s good.

VIBE - Hasn’t update in a year and a half, but what’s there is good (Honestly, it’s super sad it hasn’t update, I like it a lot). Vibe follows Baron, a young shaman, a spiritual master who is able to expel negative emotions (bad vibes) from the human body. Only those emotions then become monsters, who a shaman must fight to complete the process! With the help of his Loa (they’re like familiars), he navigates life as a teenager, and his increasingly complex and dangerous life as a shaman. I really like this comic. There’s a lot of very cool and dynamic action, and the artist makes great use of a ton of bright colors.

THE ABOMINABLE CHARLES CHRISTOPHER - This one hasn’t updated in about a year, but what’s there right now is good. Charles Christopher is a Sasquatch, living in the woods on the edge of society. Though he himself is fairly soft, and simple, the wilderness around him is full of anthropomorphized animals who go about shockingly human social and professional lives. The comic follows Charles Christopher as he interacts with the world of these animals, and becomes tangled in a vast spiritual quest.

POWER NAP - Hard to know exactly where to put this one. It’s currently VERY slow updating. Power Nap takes place in a world where the majority of mankind is reliant on a drug that allows them to live 24/7 without sleep. However, there are those who are allergic to the medicine, who live their lives out of sync with their peers, protected by the government, but effectively second class citizens. However, in a sleepless world, over-saturated by virtual reality, the human subconscious has found ways to seep into reality.

THE FANCY ADVENTURES OF JACK CANNON - I want to start this out by saying this comic is probably dead, without a 100% resolution. However, it’s currently 492 pages, and a LOT of the storyline covered in that span was resolved. Such that, if they’d wanted to, I could’ve seen the author wrapping it up. I digress. Jack Cannon is about a kid moving to a new school, where he finds the bullies are able to hack reality. Somehow immune to hacks, Jack fights the bullies, and in doing so, puts himself on the stage of a worldwide battle against hackers. Lots of really cool action in this, one of the first few webcomics I read.

Complete:

HOMESTUCK - If you’re here, you are probably at least aware of Homestuck. It’s about a bunch of goofy awkward teen friends who get sucked into a cosmic (video) game, with the fate of the universe at stake, but you know, they’ve still got that teen angst. Time travel is involved. It’s a very long, fun, and dramatic comic which is heavily influenced by RPGs and point and click adventures.

THE ADVENTURES OF DR. MCNINJA - The pressures of being a doctor AND ninja are immense, but on either front, you can trust that Dr. McNinja is the man for the job. Born into an Irish ninja family, Dr. McNinja longs for a life where he can do medicine in peace, but finds himself constantly pulled into a string of action packed adventures, fighting giant monsters, bandits riding velociraptors, and dueling radical interdimensional kings. This one if fairly long, a bit over 1800 pages, but it’s really good and well done. Again, there is a lot of both action and humor (I’m big on that), with some surprisingly meaningful and well-done story arcs in spite of how silly the premise is.

REMIND - This one is about a girl who lives in a lighthouse on the edge of a town whose main draw is the “Lizard Man” legend that her own father made up. However, after her cat one day starts walking on two legs and talking, claiming to be one of many said lizard men, they both go on a journey to discover the truth. This one was OK. The story and sci-fi elements are both alright bot not great. But it’s not super long, so if you have the time, maybe read it.

[mikegchambers]

Baby steps to the cloud: migrating your corporate website

Cloud isn’t just for new projects —migrating an existing application like a website is often the preferred first step

It’s easy to get the impression that the cloud is so alien to on-premise IT that you have to wait until a new project comes along to try it out. Fortunately for patience-impaired like me, we can easily migrate existing workloads across and see immediate benefits.

Getting one migration project off the ground is the key to convincing the Powers That Be that 100% cloud is where the company wants to be in the future. This step is all about building credibility to achieve our ultimate goal of becoming cloud natives.

Quick Recap: Key Benefits of Cloud

While cost savings are usually the hook, that’s not what cloud is really about. At its core, cloud provides three benefits that are either needlessly hard or impossible to do yourself:

Availability: what percentage of time is your application ready for its users? While no system can ever reach 100%, we’re generally trying to do everything we can to be close to perfect. Being unavailable is the tech equivalent of a power outage — the TV is still on the wall but it’s blank.

Durability: how much of the system (code and data) are you expecting to lose? Hard disks will always fail, tornadoes will swallow up buildings and well-meaning people will always do stupid things. Durability is all about surviving the unholy trinity of entropy, disaster and human stupidity. In my TV analogy, the TV has been stolen.

Scalability: what can the system do to cope with increases and decreases in load? When your product gets a deal on Shark Tank, will it cope with a 10,000 times increase in traffic? This is a ‘chicken and egg’ dilemma with your own hardware because you inevitably end up with too few or too many resources. In real life, this is like having more TVs appear when you want to watch multiple channels, but vanishing when no longer needed.

Basically, is it working? Is it there? Do I have enough resources? Fault tolerance and high availability are snooze-inducing buzzwords for the average human, but flip the words around and they just mean your application can tolerate faults and will be available more than you would expect. In practice, pulling off this magic trick is all about finding bottlenecks and points of failure. In essence, you are creating a plan B for everything, always assuming plan A is going up in smoke.

I was going to say how the most unexpected things fail but a picture speaks 1000 words.

But you also need to determine which website is worth the effort. For a corporate webpage that manages employee’s tennis court reservations, who really cares if it only works 95% of the time running on someone desktop PC? Big deal if it breaks (apologies to tennis fans). But if your site is streaming video for the Game of Thrones finale, you damned well better achieve 100% availability (I’m looking at you, HBONow). This is clearly much better candidate for migration.

Example Project: Your Company’s Website

It’s not new, it’s not sexy, but your company’s website is important and it’s one of the few ways your customers get a glimpse into your internal technology horror show. It’s a good place to start for a cloud migration since the transition is well understood and your glorious success will be highly visible.

There are many ways to build a website on-premise but here is one of the most common approach:

A typical website configuration makes cloud people cry.

Bad, bad, bad. This is a sorry design based largely on the ‘hope and pray’ approach that has a unhappy track record for disappointment. If one piece fails, it all fails. Cue screaming customers, mad executives and pagers beeping at 3am.

Anecdotal personal experience, not scientific.

Apart from the declining availability that happens when you multiply lots of 99% probabilities together, it also cannot be upgraded without downtime. This is just about the laziest setup for a website (though surprisingly common) and while might be fine for a hobby blog — would be a train wreck for anything remotely popular. Let’s make it work properly a la cloud.

Pray that nobody kicks the server and the hard disk lasts forever because it scores low on our Big Three.

Version 1: Just add cloud!

In practice there are just as many ways to cloudify a project but here’s my first sketch at using AWS to lift this website into the 21st century. Marvel at my graphic for a few moments and I’ll explain on the other side…

Fun fact: 90% of the world’s cat videos are stored on S3.

This isn’t as complicated as it looks but it was fun to draw. Piece by piece, this is what we have:

VPC: the dotted line is like the electric fence around your cloud playground. “Virtual Private Cloud” is tech talk for your very own piece of cloud real estate.

Route 53 lets us point traffic at the domain name level wherever we want at massive scale. This is a smart managed networking service that we can later use to do all sorts of cleverness (like routing regional users or fighting off denial of service attacks).

CloudFront is a content delivery network (CDN). These are extremely powerful, very cheap and loaded with kick-ass. Usually 90% of website content is static (e.g. images and video) so with a CDN — quick win alert! — you can offload this and release significant server resources. But wait, there’s more! The CDN can distribute to servers geographically closest to your visitor, so it also helps speed up your site for customers far, far away.

S3: Amazon’s mindbogglingly large storage system can securely store files, feed CloudFront, and even hold machine images for servers. In this example, we’ll keep 90% of our data here because it’s super-reliable, highly secure and cheap.

Regions: the diagram shows one region but it can be duplicated exactly to others. If you open an office in Asia, we can just roll out a copy to this region, update Route53 (so local customers hit their local region) and we’ll be done by dinnertime. Need a third region in Europe? Done.

Availability Zones: each region has at least two AZs. Why? Because power fails, networks go down and life happens. We mitigate this by having our infrastructure across two AZs so our customers will never know when an outage occurred.

Elastic Load Balancer (ELB): this takes every incoming request, determines which instances are available to help, and sends it over. If a zone is down, the ELB will be the piece that switches everything across. ELBs are the unsung heroes in orchestrating most of the cloud dance.

Auto-scaling: this is simpler than it sounds. When our instances get too busy (or freeze or die), auto-scaling steps in, powers up some new boxes, installs all the software we need and tells the ELB that it has more places to send work to. It’s the manager that watches the checkout line and says, ‘We need another register open’.

Instances: cloud lingo for ‘servers’. There was just one ‘webserver’ in the first diagram, now we have a fleet of interchangeable machines all doing the same thing. We can add more, take them offline, perform upgrades as needed and generally operate without impacting visitors negatively. We build these instances based off our custom images.

ElastiCache: caches remember the answers to questions and since webservers get asked the same questions frequently (‘hey, what’s the homepage look like?’), they can take the load off the database that would otherwise be doing the work. Caches are much faster than databases and are particularly useful for read-heavy applications like websites.

Database (RDS): scaling databases is hard, replication is scary, and most companies do it badly. RDS is a managed service that does this for you, allowing us to scale quickly with read replicas while also doing its own housekeeping, like backups and maintenance.

This Looks Expensive — and Complicated

I know what you’re thinking. “I just wanted a Honda Civic and you gave me a Tesla delivered by a SpaceX rocket.” I did, but fortunately it’s cheaper and more reliable than the Honda (if that’s even possible, hey Honda fans?).

This is the sort of environment you can build out in a few hours on AWS and might easily have an average running cost of a few hundred dollars a month (depending on your usage). The reason it’s so fast and cheap isn’t because I’m the best cloud guy in the world with extremely reasonable rates and a great can-do attitude, it’s because cloud is code. Let’s repeat that together (the cloud part):

Cloud is code. Infrastructure is code. Build it up. Throw it away.

Nobody is ordering servers, racking hardware or approving purchase orders. We simply build out a CloudFormation template (like a blue print for your house), click “Create” and automation happens. An army of bots builds exactly what we want and we’re done. The hardest part will be migrating files and content, and even that can be fairly simple with a few scripts.

Version 2: Simpler, Faster, Better

Ok, version one solved many of our problems presented in the Dire Stack of On-Premise Failure. It gave us much more availability, durability was effectively solved, and while scalability was impressive, it could still be improved.

Imagine you have a webpage that’s going to get massive amounts of traffic unpredictably across multiple geographic regions. Suddenly you get one million visitors from Australia when a TV ad runs during a national event, and then nothing for 24 hours. And now the traffic hits the West Coast, 10 million visitors during TV ads on cable in the evening, and then it goes quiet. How do you scale up fast enough or make sure the right regions are in place?

In order to accommodate this extreme traffic, I present for your consideration “version 2”:

In the classic website model, you need a web server, database and code to connect it together. In this new version:

Static HTML pages are served on the global CDN (CloudFront). These are just files thrown out to the user’s browser on request.

JavaScript pulls dynamic content through Lambda (via an API). This runs on the client (keeping the hard work on their side).

Lambda connects to ElastiCache, DynamoDB or RDS for the data. This is a massively-scalable tool that runs small chunks of code.

You might remember from last week’s blog post on Mobile Apps that this is a serverless implementation that effectively handles the scaling for you. It’s exceptionally resilient to denial of service attacks and offers blazing performance for a distributed visitor base. It’s also much cheaper to implement than version 1. While it’s not going to work for CMS-based sites that rely on the more traditional stack, it’s an A+ alternative for high traffic landing pages with a spiky demand curve, such as those targeted by TV ads.

What’s the smallest step you can take?

Sometimes the Big Bang migration can be alarming so it’s also worth mentioning a couple of small move alternatives that would greatly improve your overall website infrastructure with just a little cloud.

CDNs can and should be deployed to any and all public-facing websites. CDNs are cheaper than coffee. We’re talking pennies per gigabyte and this single step will have a huge performance improvement for any website. Seriously, it’s a no-brainer.

Lift and shift: if you moved the webserver and database from the first diagram into the cloud, you would expect a slight performance bump (cloud providers’ networks are faster than yours) and it could promote further baby steps to total cloudification. Over time it can morph into the version 1 diagram fairly easily.

Serve a backup site from S3: if your IT people are refusing to budge, one idea is to serve a backup version of the site from S3. This means whenever your site is down, a static version is served in its place. This will only work for certain types of site but it does allow you to handle failure a little more gracefully, and then opens the door to future cloud migration.

Store your code in cloud repositories. It’s a sensible safeguard but this practice also gets your development and IT groups familiar with automation tools. Automation is catnip to developers and it’s the Trojan horse to cloud.

There’s nothing alarming about automation at all.

Imagine the Possibilities for Your Applications

There are many ways to bring cloud into existing applications and workloads in your organization. The ephemeral nature of virtual hardware can be difficult to grasp and somewhat unsettling.

Pre-cloud, we built everything like it was poured concrete, a major production that was hard to change and move. Cloud providers gave us small ready-made pieces that are like Lego bricks. We can add, change, build up, tear down and have this enormous flexibility that takes a while to fully appreciate.

In most companies, getting ‘on premise’ servers versus cloud servers, it’s like comparing communist-era food rationing to Costco.

This simple example is just a website. Imagine what you could do for a distributed point of sale system in retail. You could create cloud-based services that securely support your cash registers, website and mobile e-commerce app. Write once, use everywhere. Mind blown.

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